#waking up bpd | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

hamoodmood · 13 days

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rabidtraggot · 10 months

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Ahaha imagine if I kidnapped you that'd be so quirky. What if I kept you locked up in my basement, with me as your only contact, showering you with love and gifts and cute cloths. That'd be so crazy wouldn't it...

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harbingersecho · 2 months

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I don't feel pain I never escape I'm under the bed I'm licking the floor

#mysmes #mystic messenger #mysme #mysme unknown #mysme saeran #saeran choi #mine #*24 #art #unknown #this song is literally called weakling. sooo saeran coded.#half of this was just me trying to get the skin indents from gripping his bicep right. and its still not that good but i tried #whatever i miss this cunt.this fucker was everything to me in 2016-2018 you dont understand. teenage me 🫂 saeran #dont talk to me abt his route i have many conlicting feelings abt it. but i will say his overall portrayal was better in v's route than his #except near the end but even the conclusion to that was like. hm. he just wakes up and is fine. ok.#also why the split personality. bpd saeran was amazing that was even his VA's hc for him in SE. ok i said i wasnt gonna talk abt it IM NOT #... i just think they made him a less interesting ch in his route by splitting him up to a 'good'/'bad' side. like ray WAS manipulative #he's complex! he has a skewed world view + morals and a fucked up sense of self and major black and white thinking #ohh my god im not doing this again im not writing a dissertion in tumblr tags again. its an otome game with a nonsensical timeline

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honeypleasejustkillme · 11 months

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i adore him so much but he hates me and is ignoring me (he’s sleeping)

#actually bpd #actually mentally ill #bpd shitposting #bpd fp #actually borderline #bpd vent #bpd favorite person #bpd mood #bpd problems #bpd #beloved.txt #he’s literally like dead asleep too :/#it would be rude to wake him up but i want attention #i hate it hereeeee

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ghostr0tz · 13 days

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Hi! Hello, just another local Vox in the neighborhood that wanted to say he loved the disability. Headcanons, questions and thoughts on if Vox would suffer from either Cluster-B either BPD or NPD and/or Fibromyalgia. As a liver of both of these, they certainly suck, but they do add to my experience as a Vox. Also Gosh it sucks that side blogs can't ask questions. Thank you and have a good Day!

Hello!!! Thank you that means a lot that people like my silly headcanons.

I very much think Vox is cluster-b coded, but my original post was getting so long I felt too bad to add other things...... (rambles under the cut)

I said in the notes that I felt like Vox felt BPD coded but I can DEFINITELY see him having NPD as well.

He displays a lot of grandiosity and self-importance, making WALLS against his true self and his public image, or whatever kind of person he needs to be for any given scenario.

MASSIVE superiority complex. Hes got so much shit under HIS name. HIS products. HIS show. HIS company. Its all Vox.

I feel like that complex completely warps once Vox actually considers you as your own Person and not some sort of consumer to sell something to though...

I could see the break in Alastor and his relationship being a Bad Result of Vox absorbing Alastor into his grandiosity delusions and Alastor reacting badly to it. And maybe The Vee's being a Positive Result of the same thing.

Extremely fragile image of himself that is prone to fracturing with criticism. Vulnerable to those he cares about (good or bad) and takes things very personal easily as we see in Stayed Gone....

Very Copedendant to people he lets in

Hatred for Alastor being vocalized so much and so publicly due to his NPD self-importance and need for approval and attention. Unable to understand why nobody cares as much as he does about Alastor being back.

Under the lens of Vox having BPD it is so clear that Alastor was in the position of being his Favorite Person:

Vox mimicking Alastor in SEVERAL ways

Obsessing over him for years, and even their relationship break could very easily be seen as Vox splitting on Alastor? or at least to me

His immediate fixation on Alastor again once realizing hes just walking around....

I feel like Valentino and Vox fuel each other's BPD and Vox and Velvette both could have NPD together,,

His obsession over Alastor feel like a man who has yet to get over his favorite person........

Interesting to think about Alastor being his First person he obsessed over and depended on which is why hes such a touchy subject and so personal.

ALSO Vox with Fibromyalgia is VERY real and definitely can see it. Vox is some sort of chronic pain is very based i think. I just KNOWWW his legs are bad but so is literally all of his body and hes SOOOO tired of it but theres things and work to do.

I dont think hed let himself have a lot of Bad Days to nurse his pain too much unless its Genuinely unbearable or hes being physically pulled away from his desk.

Thank you for the ask i loved writing these!!

#i love thinking about cluster b vox #<as someone who May have bpd but still workign through everythign #i can scream so much about bpd/npd vox #this was verynice to wake up to!!!!! thank you #hazbin hotel vox #hazbin vox #hazbin hotel #vox hazbin hotel #ask #vox #hazbin headcanons #anon #hazbin alastor

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biocrafthero · 21 days

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Not to BPD-haver Siffrin post again but I'm so fucking right. He has autism and adhd and is incredibly system-coded so I think I should be allowed to give him another mental disorder (silly). Anyways his favorite people are his found family and if you don't believe me then play the game again 👍

#rambles #ISAT #Siffrin handled that shit so much better than I could've #i wouldve been in my act 5 by loop 50 #/j #oh yeah for non-BPD-havers a favorite person is basically when you get super attached to someone #the thought of them leaving can be incredibly distressful and you end up going to lengths to keep them around #you wanna spend every waking moment with them basically #it's not. super fun honestly. but you learn to live with it

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cluster-b-culture-is · 10 months

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cluster b (or trauma) culture is the fucking nightmares!!! they never stop!!! give me a break!!!!!

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#cluster b culture is #cluster b #npd #aspd #bpd #hpd #Mod Reef #anonymous #dear god yeah #at least 50% of my dreams are nightmares. and for some reason a specific type of nightmare ends up with me waking up to a seizure #no clue where the seizures are coming from! can't figure it out because they only happen during those specific nightmares!#and those nightmares can't be predicted since i don't even dream 80% of the time #so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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loudcycletaco · 6 months

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Waking up in the morning has got to be the worst part of my day

#mentally unstable #mentally fucked #imma kms #im gonna cry #bpd #im exhausted #not really a joke #i dont wanna wake up tomorrow #i hate waking up

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psychotically-empty · 8 months

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god im so tired but im so scared to fall asleep

#bpd #actually bpd #borderline personality disorder #bpd vent #vent #actually borderline #tw depressing thoughts #tw vent #its more that im scared to wake up #not scared to fall asleep

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mustymausoleum · 1 month

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I hate living with my parents I hate living with my parents I hate living with my parents I hate living with my parents I hate living with my parents I hate living with my parents I hate living with my parents I hate living with my parents I hate living with my parents I hate living with my parents I hate living with my parents I hate living with my parents I hate living with my parents I hate living with my parents I hate living with my parents I hate living with my parents I hate living with my parents I hate living with my parents

#vent #bpd and pmdd cocktail plus my mum being the most demanding negative unencouraging person in my fucking life is killing me #nothing is ever good enough for her im never trying hard enough doing good enough helping out enough waking up early enough #if im sad its a problem if im angry its a problem my feelings are never validated im always being told im dramatic im sensitive im a child #she treats me like im a fucking child #i want to go to sleep and never wake up whats the fucking point

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bonefall · 1 year

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do you have any plans for the way that hollyleaf and cinder heart's relationship works out in your rewrite? i'm really curious ngl

Poor Hollyleaf is dealing with the narrative so much that she never has the time to work through the feelings for all the cats she has in her life.

Cinderpaw and her are simple friends from a young age. Not quite like Jay and Poppy, but whenever Holly sits to share tongues, or grab a buddy to have lunch with, she's usually plopping down with Cinderpaw and Lionpaw. Sometimes when they both get tired of Lionpaw being a bit of a meathead, they go find some extra tasks to get involved with.

For Hollypaw it's casual. For Cinderpaw... it means the world, so much more than Hollypaw knows.

Cinder looks forward to it all the time. Sometimes she says something a little too overeager, and then agonizes that night over if she said the wrong thing or not. But one day it's Hollypaw's turn; Ever-so-serious, she teased out a lighthearted nickname, "Do you want to go collect some cobnuts for Leafpool.... C-Cindy?"

Holly walked away from that encounter thinking it was rude, chiding herself for stuttering, thinking about how Cinderpaw always says the right thing and how she totally thinks she's a complete idiot now.

Cinderpaw carves "Hollypaw x Cindy" onto a holly twig and stashes it into her nest and purrs every time she looks at it, hastily stashing it whenever someone else pads into the Apprentice Den.

It's the kind of love where they both have reciprocated feelings, but never come out and say it, assuming they're getting in each other's ways. Especially once it becomes obvious Hollypaw has other... options.

First, it's how her brief tenure ends as a medicine cat apprentice, and she still likes to spend gatherings beside Willowpaw. But that's understandable. That's NORMAL. It's NORMAL and UNDERSTANDABLE to have friends in other Clans. Cinderpaw repeats this in her head, over and over and over.

Lionpaw says something and Cinderpaw realizes she wasn't present for the past 10 minutes. It's unsettling, but she moves on. She doesn't understand why she cares so much about Willowpaw

When it REALLY becomes noticeable is when Heatherpaw walks into the scene

CW: Public embarrassment; Cinderheart causes a scene, the girls are FIGHTING, this character has BPD. It ends fine though I promise

Because WOW Hollypaw is bad at hiding how much she's thinking of Heatherpaw. Suddenly she wants to walk on the southern side of the forest. She's got a taste for rabbits. She spends less time sharing tongues after dinner.

Cinderpaw starts to feel like maybe she did something wrong, or something IS wrong, and she plans to get to the bottom of it... unfortunately, she goes about it in the worst way possible.

Cinder cuts Holly off before she leaves the camp one evening and before she knows it, 'getting to the bottom of it' means demanding an answer, her lips running away with her tongue, "What are you doing? Have somewhere to be?"

So of course, Holly responds with aggression in kind, "I'm going out obviously? What's your problem??"

"You're ALWAYS going out these days, aren't we all good enough?" By this point ThunderClan is staring, and Cinderpaw is feeling their burning stares on her pelt. And yet, she continues, "If you like WindClan so much why don't you LIVE there?"

Hollypaw's eyes flash with sharp pain, followed by fury. Holly's brothers are leaping up and running over, but Holly says something she knows will hurt her, "It would be better than dealing with you!"

As Holly dashes and her brothers bolt after her, Cinderpaw's heart CRASHES. The camp is spinning around her, a concoction of anger, shame, sorrow, and gut wrenching embarrassment swirls in her stomach, almost knocking her over.

She retreats to her nest, breaking her little love twig in half and burying her face in the moss hoping she'll never see or be seen by Hollypaw ever again. Brackenfur comes in to try and comfort his daughter, and she bubbles miserably into his soft chest.

He doesn't understand a word she's saying but he's Supportive and that is what matters.

Holly is missing well into the night, neither her nor her brothers anywhere to be found, and Cinderpaw starts to blame herself. If they never come home, it'll be her fault for snapping like that and she promises she'll NEVER forgive herself.

But they come home. Soaked, tired, and HATING tunnels, but they come home. It starts Cinderpaw's tears up ALL over again, squeezing Hollypaw close, being squeezed in turn, apologizing, Holly admitting,

"I didn't mean what I said, I was mad and-!"

Being cut off, "I don't know why I did that, I shouldn't have done that-"

They put it behind them, for now.

But this marks the beginning of Cinderpaw's arc of instability, and learning how to handle her impulsive decision-making. For Hollypaw, Cinder is a friend, a crush, an ally, but someone she also occasionally has spats with.

Especially since Cinderpaw's mentor is Thornclaw, a secret admirer of Thistle Law, and Hollypaw's mentor is Brackenfur, Firestar's deputy and bearer of Fire Alone.

#It is unfortunate that the relationship between these two is so clear in my mind because I swear to god I am trying to write--#--CinderLion as endgame. But every time I go to write about CinderLion I pass out on the keyboard and wake up to stuff like this #HollyCinder #Hollyleaf #Cinderheart #Bonefall Rewrite #Bonefall Po3 #BPD Cinderheart #Also I tagged this with a warning since I know secondhand embarrassment can be lethal to some people #As a minor side note I don't do that thing they decided post-TPB where it's apparently a huge sin for apprentices to sneak out #As long as they do their assigned tasks it's fine. Clans aren't prisons and apprentices are teenagers #They can be trusted to leave camp in the afternoon like that #complicated girls my beloved...

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mentally-spiraling · 4 days

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Sorry if I seem off putting and is never here like I used to be, I somehow got this idea that you all hate me and don't care to have my around anymore

#mental health #avpd #social anxiety #bpd #cluster c #AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA IT'S 6AM WHY DID I WAKE UP SCARED AND PANICKED

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maeby04 · 3 months

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Fuck I know I’m not a good person. I know that, I do! But fuck, for once I want to be soft and delicate and sweet. But I never will be, because I destroy everything I fucking touch

#bpd vent #borderline personality disorder #actually mentally ill #bpd problems #I cannot do this anymore #i want to go to sleep and not wake up #i'm just so tired

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beelzeballing · 7 months

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"hey moogs whats having bpd like"