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the-boy-meets-evil · 1 year

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fool for you | kmg (18+)

where you and mingyu have a pact to always spend valentine's day together when you're single pairing: kim mingyu x f.reader genre: friends to lovers; fluff, smut rating: explicit; minors DNI warning: mentions of drinking (they're not drunk), some swearing, mingyu is described as a puppy, kissing, light marking, mentions of some biting, fingering, oral sex (f and m receiving), vaginal sex, unprotected sex (be safe), one use of a pet name (baby), i think that's it but if you see something else, lemme know! word count: ~4.8k a/n: this is for a valentine's day collab by the lovely @playmetheclassics @here4btsfics and @missgeniality. thank you for planning this. and to one of my favorite people, @ugh-yoongi this is for you, happy love day! banner credit: @classicscreations, thank you bby

It’s always been like this with you and your best friend since you were teenagers. Ever since that awful (read: not that bad, you were just a dramatic teenager) break-up you went through in your second year of high school just before Valentine’s Day. All because your boyfriend didn’t want to have to buy you anything. Which was dumb, you think, because you were teenagers and you weren’t exactly expecting some grand gesture. Not when you’d been dating for less than a year.

But you were upset in that angsty teenager kind of way and Mingyu swooped in to try and fix it, in true best friend fashion. He showed up at your house that night with all your favorite snacks and some movie that you couldn’t remember. What you did remember, though, was your promise to always be each other’s Valentine’s date if you were both single. It wasn’t as much for him as you and you knew that. You couldn’t help it, you just loved love and the idea of spending the day with someone special. Which he was to you.

Now it’s been 10 years since you made the promise to each other. Those 10 years have seen you both through finishing high school, going to college, countless dates, and so much change. The only thing that hasn’t changed is always making time for each other, no matter what else was going on. Mingyu is your best friend and you know you’re his. You’re sure nothing can change that.

And since you’re both actually adults now (kind of), you can go out to dinner for Valentine’s Day at a nice place with good food. Some of your other friends think it’s weird, that you go out on what’s essentially a date on the “most romantic” day of the year. That’s when you always chime in to remind everyone that Valentine’s Day is about love, not just romantic relationships. You and Mingyu do love each other, always have. Why not celebrate that?

“Cheers to another year spent with my favorite person,” you say and raise the glass of champagne, a complimentary one for all reservations that night.

“Yeah I guess you’re okay,” Mingyu agrees when he clinks his glass against yours.

“Wow, I see how it is,” you retort and he smiles.

“I’m always happy when we get to do this, you know that,” Mingyu says.

“Maybe,” you shrug, “doesn’t hurt to hear it again.”

“Ah yes, the attention monster reappears,” Mingyu says and you roll your eyes without any real annoyance behind it.

“Hey, I was really good when you were dating Nayeon,” you protest. “I just like getting to hang out with my best friend.”

“You’re right,” he concedes.

You’re expecting him to say more because you haven’t really talked about the breakup even though it’s been about a month. “That’s it?”

“What?” he asks, reaching for a roll in the center of the table.

“I just, I don’t know, we haven’t really talked about what happened with her,” you say.

“There’s nothing to talk about,” Mingyu says. It’s more of a shrug than anything as he grabs a roll. “You knew we were having problems.”

This kind of sparks your interest, so you pull the butter away before he can reach it. At first, a look of betrayal flashes across his face. Playful, of course. And then he’s pouting. God, he’s such a puppy sometimes. Just a giant goofball who has no idea how big he is.

“I know you were having problems,” you finally say to correct him. “Last time I saw you and her together, she seemed happy.”

Mingyu just looks at you for a second. “She didn’t like my friends and it just got old. I was sick of having to justify hanging out with them.”

“Well your friends are idiots,” you say and hand over the butter.

“And to think they always talk about how much they love you,” he says and you laugh.

“I love them too, but they’re still idiots. Both can be true,” you say.

“Yeah, well, Nayeon didn’t see it that way, so,” Mingyu trails off with a shrug.

You reach a hand across the table and his hand meets yours instinctively. “I know I joke around with you, but I am sorry. I just want you to be happy.”

“I am,” he insists and you frown. “Come on, I’ve still got you and some amazing friends. I’m good.”

“Okay,” you agree and reluctantly pull your hand back.

“Besides, I think it’s you we need to talk about,” he says and your brow furrows.

“What about me?” you ask, a little nervous to hear the answer because it is Mingyu, after all.

“Did you forget that it was Seokmin who introduced you to Jeonghan?” Mingyu asks and he’s got that little smirk that you really fucking hate sometimes. Shithead.

“I didn’t forget,” you say and pretend to find the drink menu interesting even though you’ve already ordered.

“Nope, sorry,” Mingyu says and plucks the menu from your hand. “I told you about Nayeon.”

“You two dated for like 9 months? It wasn’t the same?” you point out incredulously.

“And you ghosted him,” Mingyu barks out with a laugh. “The poor guy, he was heartbroken.”

“Oh, he was not,” you scoff. “There wasn’t any spark.”

“That damn spark,” Mingyu says with a shake of his head.

And because sometimes life is actually fair, the appetizer shows up and distracts Mingyu from any further line of questioning. He’s been wanting to try this restaurant since it opened. You’re not really sure why he never went with Nayeon. It’s a win for you though. And Mingyu loves food. He’s an incredible cook, but who would ever mind someone else cooking for them?

It’s also kind of cute. Mingyu is this giant ball of energy, exactly like the puppy you compared him to earlier. More like a golden retriever actually, because he can be smart and also very dumb. He’s always moving until he passes out. He’s fiercely loyal. But when he’s happy and eating something like this, he just kind of slows down, gets focused. There’s something endearing about it.

Dessert is always the same for the two of you too. You pretend that you only want a bite or two of whatever Mingyu orders and end up eating most of it while he pouts until you order something else. Part of you thinks that you should just order two to start, the other part kind of likes your little tradition. There are a lot of things that you like doing with Mingyu. This is your favorite though, this stupid little Valentine’s Day tradition. Maybe it’s the comfort or the safety. Maybe it’s knowing that even if you’re dating someone shitty, Mingyu will always be there.

“Can I ask you something?” he asks, grabbing a bite of cake with his fork.

“Not sure when we started asking if we could ask questions, but go on,” you say.

“What’s the real reason you didn’t give Jeonghan a chance?” Mingyu asks and that makes you look up suddenly.

“I already told you,” you answer.

“Not sure when we started avoiding answering things, but go on,” he says, throwing your line back at you.

“I mean, it’s true, I didn’t feel a spark and I don’t know,” you say as you search for the words. “I guess I just don’t wanna be wasting my time dating someone when it’s not going to go anywhere.”

“You never know though,” he says and you can’t really pinpoint the emotion.

“I don’t know,” you say and think for a second. “Have you ever just gone on a date and been sitting across from someone that’s nice and smart and funny and attractive, literally everything you should want but…it’s just, not there?”

Mingyu chuckles even though it’s not really funny. “Yeah, I guess I have.”

“And, okay, like part of me was also thinking that this holiday was coming up. So I either had to just shut it down or agree to do something with him,” you say and look down, embarrassed about what you’re going to admit. “I just kind of thought I’d rather spend tonight with you, someone I know I like being around, rather than in some sort of new, probably undefined, relationship with him. Like what if he picked a shitty restaurant or made shitty plans? What if we run out of things to talk about?”

“Wait, you turned him down so you could spend Valentine’s Day with me?” Mingyu asks, eyes wide.

“Come on, not like that,” you say and ignore the fluttering in your stomach. “Just, I don’t know, we always have fun.”

“You like doing this with me,” Mingyu says and you roll your eyes.

“Course I do, Gyu,” you answer easily.

“What if it was like that, though?” he asks and you cock your head to the side. “Like what if we were on a date and it wasn’t just another Valentine’s Day with friends?”

“Mingyu, we’re not…” you start and falter at the look on his face. “Are you serious?”

“You do realize that I’ve actually never been in a relationship on Valentine’s Day, right?” he asks and that stupid smirk is back.

“You must’ve been, we haven’t done this every year,” you say and you’re trying to wrack your brain to see if it’s true.

“No, you’re right, we haven’t. We’ve missed 3 since we made the deal when we were fifteen, all when you were in a relationship,” Mingyu says and you’re at a loss for words.

“Does that mean…?” you try to ask but your mouth just can’t see to catch up with your brain and your heart.

“Do you wanna get out of here and go back to my apartment? It might be easier to talk there,” he says and you just nod.

It’s a lot of information to process and for once, Mingyu is quiet by your side. His hand is firm around yours, which doesn’t feel like a big deal because you’ve held hands for years. Except that it’s entirely different now. And when he needs it back so he can actually drive with both his hands, a part of you misses the comfort of it. Misses the security.

You’re quiet in the elevator and on the walk to his front door, quiet as you walk through the doorway. Even the apartment is quiet, which is surprising given how loud one of Mingyu’s roommates tends to be. But the place is empty, apparently, as Mingyu tells you when he breaks the silence to ask if he can take your coat to hang it up. It’s a strange feeling for a lot of reasons. Right now it’s strange to have Mingyu taking care of you when it’s usually the other way around.

It’s quiet again as you walk the familiar path to the living room to sit down while Mingyu makes you a cup of tea. When he hands it to you, you know that it’ll be perfect because Mingyu’s been your best friend for over a decade and he knows everything about you. And that’s when you realize. Maybe he knew this too. Maybe he’s a step ahead of you in realizing there are real feelings here. Maybe he’s the one you can depend on.

“How long?” you ask, figuring you need to speak eventually.

“Have I liked you?” he asks, needing clarification. You only nod. When he doesn’t answer immediately, you look over at him. Study his face in profile before he answers. “It’s kind of a long answer, I guess. I had a crush on you that first Valentine’s Day, but I figured you also just needed a friend. And I realized how much I did love our friendship. Plus we were kids.”

He takes a breath to collect his thoughts. “I haven’t been in love with you for 10 years, just to be clear,” he says and chuckles. “Not that I haven’t thought about it either. Mostly it’s just been that you were my best friend and we went on these little friend dates and I didn’t think too deeply about it.”

“Did something change?” you ask, still not ready to address your own feelings.

“I’m not sure how to explain it. Nayeon and I were just kind of throwing out things for Valentine’s Day even though it was still over a month away. And she made a comment about how she hoped you’d have someone so you wouldn’t be missing me,” Mingyu says and frowns.

“She isn’t exactly the first to not like it,” you say quietly.

“It wasn’t even that, it was all me,” Mingyu says honestly. “I started to think about how I wouldn’t get to spend it with you and that was…a wake-up call. Nayeon and I broke it off not much after that. And honestly, what I said about my friends was true. She hated Seokmin.”

“How does anyone hate him? He’s a sunshine baby,” you say and Mingyu laughs. “Minghao I get, maybe, because he can be mean if he doesn’t like you. But not Seokmin.”

“Right?” he agrees. “So I was thinking about you and us and trying to sort things out when Seokmin said he was going to introduce you to Jeonghan and my heart broke. I couldn’t imagine having just broken it off with Nayeon only to still not get to see you for our tradition. That’s when I knew for sure. And we aren’t kids anymore.”

“So, like, what do we do now?” you ask, and Mingyu studies you for a moment.

“What do you want to do?” he asks. “I mean, are you…oh my god, why is this so hard? I just told you how I felt but I don’t know…”

He’s rambling and it’s incredibly endearing because he doesn’t usually get flustered like this. It also makes you realize that he’s laid everything out while you’ve said almost nothing. You rest a hand on his leg to stop him from stuttering through things. “Hey, I realize I didn’t say this. But I do have feelings for you too.”

“You do?” Mingyu asks, his whole face lighting up.

“Yeah, dummy, that’s what I really meant when I was talking about sitting across from Jeonghan not feeling the spark. He’s a great guy but he’s not you,” you say easily.

“What do we do now?” Mingyu asks, making you laugh.

“I mean like I really wanna kiss you, so,” you say, watching as his eyes go wide, just for a moment.

And then he’s sliding over on the couch, gently tucking a piece of your hair behind your ear, so careful like he can’t tell if it’s all really happening. So cautious. It’s at odds with your best friend who’s always tripping over his own feet and never seems to know just how big he is. Your whole body is hyper-aware of his and even though he admitted his feelings first, you’re still a little worried that this isn’t real either. When his lips finally meet yours, it occurs to you just how many times you’ve imagined this. How many times you’ve looked at his lips and wondered if they were soft or what they would feel like against yours. How many times you’ve wondered about his hands running over your body.

His lips feel better than you expected, the perfect mix of soft and firm against your own. One of his large hands cups the side of your face, fingers curling around behind your ear. You’re not even sure which one of you deepens the kiss, you’re only aware that your tongues are moving together and that it’s making you feel a little light-headed. The angle is awkward but you’re not sure you really care. You’re kissing your best friend and it’s everything you’ve ever needed and nothing like you thought.

He pulls away and you’re a little embarrassed by the way your lips chase after his, a little unused to being the one that pouts in this relationship. Yet that’s exactly what you do when you see him just looking at you.

“Is this actually happening?” he asks. You let out of huff of air.

“Well not now, since you stopped kissing me,” you say. You expect him to laugh or roll his eyes. Instead, he only looks fond. So incredibly fond.

“Never would’ve pegged you as the pouty, whiny type,” Mingyu says. Now you’re the one that rolls your eyes.

“I’m leaving,” you announce and get up.

You’re actually a little surprised when he lets you stand up and take a few steps toward the door. There’s a chance for your stomach to drop, just a little bit. And then he’s grabbing your arm to spin you around to him.

Fuck, he’s tall. Which you’ve always known, but it’s different when he’s crowding your space and caging you between his arms. Your back is against the wall when you finally tilt your head up to look at him. Whatever playful glint that had been in his eyes earlier is gone. There’s no question that he wants you as much as you want him, maybe more.

You pull his face down to yours to kiss him again, harder this time, let your hands tangle in his hair that he’s finally grown out after literal years of asking him. His hands grip your hips, just on the right side of too hard.

And, okay, you don’t want to complain, but Mingyu genuinely is a giant and it’s kind of hard on your neck to crane it so you can continue kissing him. Just as you start to rise up on your tiptoes, Mingyu’s hands move from your hips down to the backs of your thighs. You gasp into his mouth when he picks you up, balancing you against the wall. It’s nothing but heat between the two of you when you wrap your legs around his waist, trying to help him keep you held up.

“Fuck this,” he says quietly as he pulls you away from the wall.

You squeak at losing your backrest and wrap your arms around his neck tighter like you’re afraid to fall. He just chuckles.

“You know I’d never drop you,” he assures you, voice low.

Even though he said it, you’re expecting him to deposit you on the bed. He doesn’t. He’s so gentle when he places you on the edge of his bed and you’re wondering where all the restraint is coming from. You sure as hell don’t have this kind of control.

Almost on their own, your hands reach for his shirt and he watches as you unbutton it carefully, sliding it down his arms. It doesn’t matter how many times you’ve seen him shirtless (and you’ve seen him shirtless a lot), he’s still beautiful. So beautiful that you don’t realize he’s reaching for the hem of your dress, that’s already almost at your hips from him picking you up, removing it quickly before unclasping your bra just as quickly. It leaves you almost completely exposed, only your underwear left. The urge to be shy is brief when you see the way he’s looking at you. You spare a moment to consider if anyone’s ever looked at you like that (they haven’t, you’re sure).

This time the kiss you get is actually quick before his mouth moves down over your body. He sucks one of your nipples between his teeth and your back arches in response. And there’s something a little weird about it all. There’s nobody in the world you know better than Mingyu, with his endless energy and restlessness. But you didn’t know this side of him. The side where he takes his time, slows down so every moment feels more important, focuses on you and you alone.

You don’t stop him as he continues to move down your body and nips along the way. It doesn’t matter that he’s marking you up, doesn’t make you pause like it has before with anyone else. Not that anyone is going to be seeing these marks anyway, since he’s currently focusing on your inner thigh. And fuck, it feels good, but you’re also a little impatient, a little needy when your hand knots in his long hair again. Without even seeing his face, you know he’s smiling. Smirking, probably. He doesn’t have to tell you that he loves to see you whiny for him.

(He does anyway, though, because he’s still a menace to society and to you specifically. He doesn’t have to tease you either, but he does that too, making you beg before he removes your underwear.)

“Mingyu please,” you beg, already reduced to this.

His legs on yours from between your legs and you let out a heavy breath. His eyes are still on you when he asks, “what is it you’re asking for?”

“Something, anything,” you say because you’re no longer too proud to beg. You can yell at him for it later. Right now you just need.

A second later, he gives you what you asked for. He runs his tongue up your folds lazily, too slow. It’s deliberate, you know. And you know that you should appreciate that he’s not in a rush. It’s just that you’re so on edge and this isn’t helping. Maybe he can tell by the way your hand tightens in his hair or the way you moan or even the way you squirm with his tongue inside you. Whatever it is, something makes him speed up and praises fall easily from your lips. The praises only seem to push him on, which isn’t surprising. Mingyu has always had a thing about praise.

Mingyu slides a finger inside your cunt without much warning and it’s all too much. You never really paid that much attention to his hands (which was good for your sanity, probably). But his long finger moves quickly inside your cunt and you clench around him without meaning too. He hums against your clit, makes it feel like a praise. When he slides a second finger in, you’re not sure how much longer you’ll last. The rhythm of his fingers sliding inside you along with his mouth on your clit is driving you wild.

He curls his fingers inside of you and thrusts faster, not teasing now, certainly not dragging it out. It’s silent permission for you to let go. The orgasm rips through you and you fall back onto the bed, dully aware of him guiding you through it. You’re breathing heavily when you feel his fingers slide out and prop yourself up in time to see him put his fingers in his own mouth. And fuck, okay that’s also really hot.

You lean forward to undo his pants. Those fall to the floor with his boxer briefs and your eyes go a little wide. He’s bigger than you’re expecting, not that you’ve spent much time thinking about him. Now he’s the one that looks a little shy, even though it was you that was just coming on his tongue.

He goes to grip his cock and you snap out of it, gently moving his hand away. Instead, you lean forward to spit on the tip, spreading it along his length, thinking you might tease him. Just a little bit. Your strokes are slow, at least at first, and he just watches, seems to be caught up in the moment. Until he gets impatient and jerks a little into your hand, even though you can tell he’s trying not to.

You just look up at him, watch his eyes on you as you take his cock into your mouth. Mingyu gathers your hair in his hands, but lets you go at your own pace. Slowly, you find your rhythm, taking as much into your mouth as you can. Mingyu seems to like to give praise as much as he likes to receive it, though, because it falls out of his mouth between his groans.

“Baby, hang on,” Mingyu says and gently pulls himself back. Your eyes go wide for a second before registering that his look is just want. “Can I…I mean, I really want to fuck you. Fuck, I really want to feel you.”

That, almost more than anything else, goes straight to your core. You know you’re already getting wet again but why does he have to look like that when he says it? Why does he have to look like this is more than he’s ever experience? Why did him calling you baby make your brain short circuit?

“God, yes Mingyu, yes, I want to feel you inside me,” you manage to say as you’re moving back into the center of the bed.

Mingyu is reaching for his bedside table the next second and you watch him. There’s a part of you that knows it’s best to be safe, knows that you never know. But the other part, the much louder part, just wants to feel him. It’s the part that knows even though he could be a fuckboy, he’s not. Knows he doesn’t sleep around. So you tell him you’ve got an IUD, even though he already knows, and not to worry. He checks, because he cares about you more than he knows how to express, but there’s a part of him that’s excited too.

He’s hovering over you the next second, pressing kisses against every bit of your skin his lips come into contact with. He only stops for a second to line himself up at your entrance, slides the tip between your folds and comments on how wet you are again. As soon as he presses the tip into your cunt, his lips are on yours again, catching the moans. Or maybe distracting you from how big he is inside of you.

You’re thankful for this side of him, the side that’s so careful with you, the side that’s much more in control of his body than you’ve seen anywhere else. Thankful because he’s moving slowly, letting you adjust. And because you know neither of you are going to last that long once he actually does start moving.

“Please,” you nearly whisper, fingers digging into Mingyu’s arms.

It’s all he needs, though. He starts moving, slowly snapping his hips as he thrusts into you. It’s all so much. You’re not sure you’ve ever felt this much while fucking someone. You love to love and love feelings, but sex has always been somehow separate for you. Not that you don’t feel during sex. It’s just that you’ve always been able to separate the feelings. You can’t imagine doing that now and maybe that’s because none of them were Mingyu.

You know he wants to make it last, you do too, but it’s all just really overwhelming. So you focus on this moment, on how he speeds up, how his breath sounds so close to you, the way his muscles contract with each movement, on the way he stretches you. You dig your nails into his arms to keep yourself grounded and he groans. He picks up his pace a little more, pulling almost all the way out before thrusting all the way in, making you scream out.

It feels like it all happens too fast. You’re still sensitive from your first orgasm. And you know Mingyu is close too, can feel the way his thrusts falter. You clench around him, let him know you’re close, say whatever comes out. Most of it is probably incoherent, you think. But he understands anyway, is right there with you. Your second orgasm rips through you even harder than the first. Mingyu thrusts through it, releasing into you in the process.

It’s a few minutes later, after you’ve both somewhat caught your breath and he’s pulled out of you, that you fully realize what’s happening. Mingyu has one hand behind his head and the other arm around you, eyes closed. You prop yourself up on your elbow to look at him, appreciate all his features up close for what feels like the first time in all your years of friendship. He opens his eyes and meets yours. It’s the best smile you can ever remember seeing.

“So, I guess we’re doing this,” you say, watching his face closely.

“Yeah, we are,” he agrees, no room for argument. “I’m not letting go of you now.”

You lay back down and bury your face in his side. You’re not sure what else to say. “Hey, Mingyu?”

“Hmm?” he says. You feel it more than hear it.

“Happy Valentine’s Day.”

this ended up being a little longer than i meant, but let me know your thoughts <3

#thekpopuniverse #kvanity #mingyu x reader #mingyu smut #mingyu fluff #mingyu scenarios #mingyu x you #mingyu fanfic #svt fic #seventeen fic #seventeen imagines #svt imagines #svt smut #svt fluff

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sunray-222 · 5 months

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Second to you. | C.S

warnings: angst, asshole chris, strong language, breakups, lmk if i miss anything

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when you and chris started dating, it was because you loved him for who he was. not the fame, not what he could bring you, just him. and chris was so in love with you, initially. chris was your escape, from your stresses, your mental health, everything.

chris was your go to. “i’ve got you no matter what baby. i promise.” he’d said it to you countless times, at first it was sweet but the course of your relationship currently, now it felt like he thought he was obligated to say it.

things lately had been rather, intense between the two of you. and not in a good way. you two barely talked, when you did it felt as if chris was always annoyed with you. you slept together, but a million miles apart. it just wasn’t the you and chris that you were used to.

“so, are we going to that party tonight?” you asked, hopeful eyes. maybe going out will bring out the better in you two.

“prolly’ not.” chris mumbled, not even looking up from his phone. “oh, baby please. we haven’t been out in forever?” you begged again, and chris only rolled his eyes as he continued scrolling.

you bit back the tears and the arguing, just wanting one day where you guys don’t fight. you went about your day deciding that whether or not chris went out with you, you and your friends and nick were going.

it was roughly 7:30 when chris decided to pay attention to you, and the short dress you landed on.

“where are you going?” he asked, his tone uneasy as he watched you carefully. “out, the party remember?” you asked, eyes widened as you explained.

“uh.. i guess i don’t remember you bringing that up.”

“course you don’t.” you huffed, rolling your eyes. “if i’d have said it naked chris i don’t think you’d realize then.”

and it only continued. the uncomfortable tension didn’t die down, it got worse matter of fact.

“you’re always on the fucking phone, of course you don’t listen.” you cried, voice horse. the two of you had been arguing for what felt like hours, over chris not paying attention to you.

“i’m always on the fucking phone because you’re fucking paranoid y/n. over everything. and it’s leaking out on me. i can’t handle all this shit y/n it’s exhausting.”

“you’re exhausted? try talking to someone who makes you feel like you’re fucking background noise. who makes you feel like you’re the second choice to their phone!” you yelled back, “and on the topic of being fucking paranoid it all started when you started shutting me out you fucking dick.”

you stomped away, slamming the bedroom door in his face. “don’t shut my fucking door in my face, you forget you moved in with me this is my shit y/n. chill your fucking ass out!” he screamed, slamming the door behind him.

“god why do you fucking hate me now?” you asked, tears streaming as you laid on the bed back away from him.

“i don’t. you’re being overdramatic and over reacting to fucking nothing.” chris sighed, sliding down the wall to sit on the floor and rubbing his hands over his face.

“i’m going to bed.” you cried, reaching up to turn the lamp off.

“whatever, y/n/n.” chris mumbled, grabbing a blanket and heading to sleep on the couch.

weeks had gone. and the silence was unbearable. and it had all hit you like a ton of bricks when matt asked you, matt who lived with you, “are you two even still together?”

you’d made your mind up then.

it’d been two days since matt asked, and subtly you’d been packing your bags, preparing to stay with one of your friends until you’d figured something out.

it was about 10 o’clock when you hear the sound of matt’s van pulling in and the doors shutting. you sat on the bed, with your bags all around you.

a rough 5 maybe even 10 minutes later chris finally makes his way into the room.

“you havin’ a slumber party or something?” he laughed, standing in front of the dresser pulling night clothes out. “i’m leaving, chris.”

the room fell silent. and chris was trying to fully wrap his head around your sentence. “okay, are you visiting family?”

it was a stupid question, you both knew that. you both also knew chris wasn’t fully grasping reality here. “no, christopher, i’m leaving you.”

“no, no. y/n you’re not, if this is about the fighting i’m sorry i was a dick, i’ll do better.” chris explained, panic in his voice as he turned around. “no, christopher. i tried to get you to change,” you huffed, looking down, you knew that if you looked him in the eyes it’d be immediate tears.

“y/n, please baby. i was just stressed, we can go somewhere just us i’ll turn my phone off better yet i’ll leave it here please baby. i’m sorry.” his voice cracking, it’s as if tears were going to slip any second.

“no chris. no. you were all i had, all i have if i’m being honest with myself. and i wish you all the best in the world. but i’m tired of feeling like i have to compete with your phone, and honestly yourself for your attention. i’m through letting you beat me down everyday.” you explained, pushing his hands off of your lap.

“y/n, it was just stress i promise i’ll do better.” his eyes filled with tears as he sat in the floor in front of you.

“chris i don’t even think you’re crying because we’re done, i just think you don’t wanna be alone.” you mumbled, standing up and going towards the door.

“i’m through letting you destroy me by being with me but not really being with me. i love you chris, but i have to love me more.”

sad, short, and angsty. love y’all lmfao

#chris sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #matt sturniolo #nick sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #chris sturniolo smut #chris sturniolo x reader #sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo angst

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tomssexdoll · 1 month

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When I was your man

PAIRINGS: Tom 2009 x Female reader CONTENT: ANGST + FLUFF + SMUT SYPNOSIS: Tom and Y/N broke up, after 2 years of dating she finally had enough of his shitty behaviour. Tom starts to see her everywhere and deeply regrets his actions, crying for you every night. One night he sees you at a bar, dancing with another man and he approaches you. A/N: inspired by when I was your man by bruno mars WARNINGS: dom! tom, sub!reader, eating out, alcohol mentions, fingering

Me and Y/N broke up a month ago, she couldn't deal with my shitty behaviour she said, complaining about how I treat her. When I refused to apologise she took her things and left, texting me later that we were over.

As soon as I saw her say that I burst into tears, realizing my shitty actions towards her.

I went to bed that night but it didn't feel right. It was the same bed but it felt just a little bit bigger, more empty without her, cold and lonely.

I hear our song on the radio but it doesn't sound the same. The song we had our first kiss to, lost our virginities to, countless of memories wasted all because of me.

When my friends talk about her all it does is just tear me down, cause my heart breaks a little when I hear her name.

I've been super depressed after the breakup, not being able to sleep properly and not eating. All I wanted was her, to hold her, caress her soft skin, kiss and appreciate her. But she was gone, and I didn't know how long it'd be until I could have her in my arms again.

My pride, my ego, my needs and my selfish ways, caused a good strong woman like her to walk out of my life, and it haunts me everytime I close my eyes.

I couldn't just set my selfishness down for a second, I was a fucking idiot, treating the kindest and most beautiful girl like shit, disregarding her feelings, gaslighting her and neglecting her. I looked at twitter, seeing headlines of her with another guy.

I sobbed and sobbed, crying my eyes out, seeing her already moved on. I knew I deserved it but I wanted her back so badly, she was my everything, my baby, my world. I wish I could turn back time and just start all over again, make her feel like the only girl in the world, make her feel special and loved.

One day I decided to go to a bar and drink my sorrows away, running out of all the alcohol in my house that I drowned myself in. I sat down, ordering a couple shots of whiskey, downing them within seconds.

I turned around to see everyone dancing, sweaty bodies pressed up against each other, making me remember the special moments we shared in this bar, tears welled up in my eyes again.

Then suddenly I saw her, Y/N was there, she was so beautiful, so stunning. Her features glowing from the flashing lights, curves showing off in her sexy dress. My baby was dancing like she loved to do, but she was dancing with another man, he smiled at her, holding her close and kissing her gently.

My eyes widened and I stared there in shock, it felt like the world stopped, like everything went silent. She swayed her hips, grinding into him. She looked like she was having so much fun.

I stepped closer, the lights now hitting me. She turned and looked at me, her eyes widening and her movements haltering. We just stared at each other for a while, she eventually rolled her eyes and excused herself, walking off. I ran after her, calling out for her.

Eventually I grabbed onto her arm, looking down at her "baby..please" I choked out a sob, she pushed me off "get off me Tom, I told you we're over.." she mumbled, not being able to look me in the eyes.

I noticed how she quickly wiped a tear from her cheek, I grabbed her chin and lifted it to look at me, "I know im probably much too late, to try and apologise for my mistakes" I sighed "but i just want you to know, I hope he buys you flowers and holds your hand, gives you all his hours, take you to every party cause i remember how much you loved to dance, do all the things i've should've done..when i was your man.."

Tears welled up in her eyes, she hugged me tightly and sobbed into my chest, "oh tom..I missed you so much" I smiled and stroked her hair. "Let's go outside baby..talk about things better, hm?" I mumbled against her hair, she nodded and took my hand, leading my outside and leaving the guy she was with.

We walked to my car and got in, blasting the heating. "He's not with me or anything..i've been hooking up with him for like 2 weeks and I figured paparazzi might have been there to take photos and make you jealous.." she crossed her arms, frowning.

"I deserve it though, I treated you badly baby, you didn't deserve to go through what you did" I held her hand, rubbing my thumb over the skin softly, "maybe you can give me another chance? I swear I'll change baby, it won't be like the other times, I need to prove to you that I can change, I can be a better man for you" I started to cry again, she winced and got onto my lap, wiping my tears away and kissing me softly.

"I'm an idiot for forgiving you again..but fuck you seem so sincere.." she sighed, smiling softly. "I'll do anything for you baby, name it and i'll do it, I just can't lose you" I said, my voice shaky, rough with emotion.

"I haven't been able to function without you, you complete my world" I caressed her cheek. "Let's go home, I'm tired of living out of a shitty hotel" she giggled, climbing into the passanger seat again.

As we got home she rushed in, running onto our shared bed, "fuck..how I missed this bed" she rolled around in it, I smiled and walked in, laying next to her.

"Tom..?" she turned to me, "yes schatz?" I pulled her closer, looking down at her. "Why did you treat me so badly?" her question hit hard, I didn't really know myself. "Uh..I don't know..I was just stupid and I didn't appreciate the wonderful woman I had in front of me, I was a little intimidated, you were way too good for me and I just thought sabotaging everything would make it better, which now I see was fucking stupid" I groaned, rubbing my temples in frustration.

"I'm just glad you eventually saw how it affected me, I missed you a lot I will admit but I was also hurt and I still am" I nodded, "I know baby..and I'm so sorry, I wish I could take back all the pain" I said, reaching out and grabbing her hips, rubbing them softly.

"You know I'd do anything for you, I would take a bullet straight through my brain just to prove my love to you." She chuckled "baby..chill out" I smirked "sorry..I just want you to know how much I love and appreciate you"

She climbed on top of me, tracing my features with her delicate fingers. "There will be no sunlight if I lose you baby, just like the clouds my eyes will do the same, if you walk away everyday it'll rain" I kissed her softly, she smiled "Tom that's beautiful.." she whispered and kissed me back.

I flipped us over, me hovering over her. "Let me give you the love you deserve, make you feel beautiful.." she nodded and slowly unbuttoned her shirt, revealing black lacey bra.

My head dove into her chest, kissing and sucking softly.

She moaned softly, delicate sounds coming out of her beautiful lips. I reached down and removed her skirt. Her beautiful figure underneath me.

My fingers traced her curves softly, appreciating her beauty. "So, so beautiful..my angel" I whispered, kissing down her stomach and planting a soft kiss on her panties, her hips bucking up slightly.

"Tom..don't tease" she whined, I chuckled and slid her panties off, bending her legs and prying her thighs apart, licking a stripe on her folds, collecting her juices.

I slowly lapped my tongue onto her her clit, sucking softly, "mm!" she moaned loudly, gripping onto the sheets tightly. I smirked, happy to see her so pleasured.

I sneaked my hand up, entering 2 digits into her wetness, stretching her out. "Oh fuck!" she groaned as my fingers curled at her g spot, "is it good baby?" I teased, she nodded and screwed her eyes shut, focusing on the pleasure.

My fingers found their rhythm inside her, thrusting in and out. I could feel her release slowly approaching, her breath coming in short gasps. I increased the pressure on her clit, sucking harder as I felt her about to climax.

I could tell I was driving her wild, her head lolled back and her eyes were tightly shut, legs slightly trembling. "Cum for me baby.." I moaned on her clit, slobbering all over it.

I felt her pussy clench against my fingers as she came hard, a loud high pitched moan leaving her mouth. "So good.." I chuckled, licking up all her juices and climbing up to hover over her again.

I grabbed my clothed erection, "do you want it baby?" she nodded quickly, grabbing at my pants and shoving them off. I grinned at her urgency, pulling my cock out of my boxers and pumping it a few times.

"Can't wait to be inside you again.." I groaned, pressing my tip at her entrance, slowly pushing in. It had been a while since we last fucked, her "hookups" obviously not as big as me.

She cried out, holding onto me tightly, "fuck!", I dragged my hand down to her clit, rubbing slow circles to let her relax. I felt her pussy unclench on my cock, finally being able to thrust in better.

I slowly thrusted, gradually picking up my pace so I didn't hurt her.

Eventually my cock was pounding into her, my grip tight on her hips, holding her into place. "Fuck..so tight" I groaned, my head rolling back.

"Mmm! Fuck!" she moaned, feeling my tip hit her g spot, I leaned down and started to suck her nipples softly, earning a loud groan from her. My tongue swirled against her sensitive buds, making her throw her head back.

"Cum for me pretty girl.." I grunted, picking up my pace again and slamming into her, the tension building in my stomach as I felt my release approach, nails digging into her hips.

"Mmh! Oh shit!" she cried out, wrapping her arms around me and holding me close, her pussy clenching around my cock, increasing the amount of pleasure I was recieving.

I felt her body shudder under me, her orgasm washing over her and her juices painting my cock, I groaned and came inside her, shooting my load deep into her and making sure to keep thrusting so it could stay in.

I sighed and collapsed on top of her, cock still buried deep inside her hole. "I missed you so much baby..I swear i'll never ever hurt you again, I was so stupid to treat you that way" I winced "please forgive me and take me back.." she frowned at my pain, kissing me softly.

"I know you're sorry baby, it'll take a while for me to trust you again but we can try one more time, don't blow it" she sighed, I sighed in relief, peppering kisses all over her face and flipping us over so that she was on top of my chest, "get some rest baby" I whispered into her hair.

tags: @itsmealaiah @tomkaulitzloverr @tomscumdump @tomscumdoll @bkaulitzlover @ballhair @estxkios @ge-billsgf @charliesgoodboy

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satellitespinner · 4 months

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PICTUREFRAME (E.W)

“so i’ll watch your life in pictures,

like i used to watch you sleep.”

synopsis: some things don’t last forever, and for some that can cause a true heartache.

warnings: poor attempt at angst. consumption of alcohol (reader) mutual breakup mentioned

not even the amount of cheap ass alcohol you consumed could hush the thoughts of auburn hair and green eyes. the party had ended awhile ago yet here you are, sitting in your kitchen sulking over your ex. you looked the exact epitome of an alcoholic.

you should’ve listened to your therapist and picked up your journal, scribbling some nonsense about how you wished she would fucking die for moving on so fast, about how your relationship couldn’t have meant shit to her if she moved on so quick.. but you didn’t. instead you picked up a bottle and began stalking her. the words we can still be friends, right? replayed in your mind as you seek out her instagram page, her username coming to mind with ease. the photos of her and her happy without you burned your eyes, here come the tears..

your vision blurs as you scroll through the profile. she didn’t have many posts, the same few photos you have seen countless times before. a few even containing you. your birthday appreciation post, a picture of your friend group at the beach. you, of course hanging off of ellie like she would disappear if you let go. it was a painful sight, but but alas you dove deeper.

dina told you to stop reminiscing on the relationship and move forward. but you just couldn’t. not yet, atleast. you could recollect the day ellie left you like it was yesterday.

she had sat you down to talk and tried to give it to you lightly.. however the conversation still ended with battered and bruised hearts.

“hey. can we talk about something?..”

#ellie williams x reader #ellie tlou #tlou #tlou fanfiction #tlou2 #ellie williams #ellie williams fluff #ellie williams angst #angst #₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟizzie writes!?#ellie x reader

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strayrumia · 24 days

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Unfamiliarity (oneshot)

felix x fem!reader

Synopsis: After her break-up from her long-term relationship, [Y/n] is left wondering if she was deserving of love and gentleness. Fortunately for her, she has a best friend who's been supporting her since the beginning. Not only that, but he's also more than happy to show her she deserves the love she longed for. -or- [Y/n] is left touch-deprived and doubting that she's deserving of anything wholesome after having left a relationship that left her with nothing but heartbreak, trauma, and neglect. Her best friend proves her wrong.

Genre(s): fluffy ending, implied best friends to lovers (can be taken platonically), angst Other tags: non!idol au, (wholesome) physical touch Content/Trigger Warning(s): mentions of SA (s*xual ab*se) and emotional ab*se from past relationship, very heavy mentions of insecurity and feeling worth is based off s*x, mentions of food

[A/N]: This is more of a ventfic and something that I wanted to just let out. It might not be the best fic I've written as it has a VERY open ending/lacks a proper ending. I also wrote this late at night, very head-empty. I hope if you do read it, you'll feel heard or a reminder that you deserve the love you give to others! <3

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Weeks.

Has it been weeks?

No, it's actually been a few months since the day you gained the confidence and willpower to walk out on your past and very toxic relationship. You've kept track. After all, you thought your ex would be hurting too, until you've discovered from mutual friends that he had already moved on.

That's right. At first, it was a mention from a mutual that they've heard him mention on his own socials that he was going to a concert - a concert of a group you were very confident he didn't know nor listen to very much. Then the day came when it was the supposed concert. You saw on another mutual friend's Instagram that he was seeing the group with the same girl he told you not to worry about countless times prior. The same girl who he would not hesitate to make time when she said the word, yet when you asked him for his time, he would throw a fit. Then goes the most recent news - that he was supposedly trying to get on his coworker.

This boy was the same one who told you, when you sobbed to him while trying to stand your ground, that he didn't agree to this relationship ending and he wanted to continue fighting for you two. The same one that told you that he'd rather you stay with him and heal than walk away. The same one who told you, "will we ever be together again in the future?"

It hurt.

It hurt knowing that this person you gave five long, hard years for threw you away so easily. You fought for him despite your friends and family refusing to support your relationship, despite the fact that they all mentioned how he had red flags yet your young, naive self gave him the benefit of the doubt. You fought for him, yet you got taken advantage of in more ways than you want to remember while he felt little to no remorse for his actions as his words never aligned.

It hurt knowing that while you gave a lot of love to him, you're left wondering if you're even enough for another person, if there will ever be someone in your life to treat you the way you deserve to be treated. While you were still healing, your ex, who you walked away still full of love, was ready to find the next person to fuck around with.

Though many of your friends suggested you to hop on the dating apps and just fuck your feelings away to those who had no strings attached, you knew you couldn't do that. You love with your whole heart. Sure you can sleep with others and enjoy the sex life with potential partners who shared your kinky fantasies, but how can you? Your relationship was full of one-sided lust that you felt like you were only good for sex.

You were healing a lot faster now that months had gone by since your breakup, but it didn't stop the thoughts of insecurity that would constantly come up every now and then. You've gone on many hangouts with friends who happened to be dating and seen just how wonderfully they treat each other and it makes you wonder... 'Will I ever get that kind of treatment?'

After your breakup, you made a vow to yourself that you would set aside as much time as you can to spend with your friends and family, the very people who supported you individually from the start and continued to even after that. Through each hangout, your best friend, Felix, was there every step of the way.

He was always there since the beginning. He was there when he warned you about your ex before you got into that relationship. He was there during your entire relationship, albeit being at a bit of a distance to respect your space and privacy with your partner. Lastly, he's there for you right now.

You had spent the whole day with him, letting the day be a normal hangout - one that allowed you two to enjoy board games with other friends before they had to go home, leaving you alone in your small apartment with Felix.

After the mutual friends had left, Felix had noticed your mood shift slightly towards the end of the game night and decided to bake you some chocolate chip cookies as a treat to cheer you up. He knew they were your favorite sweet treats after all. While he prepped the ingredients and put up a YouTube video in the background, you scrolled through your Instagram feed lazily, only to have the worst timing and notice the same girl you were warned to not worry about post about your ex yet again. Yes you were doing better in this healing process but the pain was still ever so present.

You let out an exasperated sigh as your head dropped into your folded arms against the counter, causing Felix to look up from the video and pause. "Are you alright?"

You only responded with an unhappy, muffled groan in your arms. Felix raised an eyebrow at you as his gaze shifted towards the phone in your hand. Your screen stayed stagnant on the post with your friend and your ex.

"You know, you could always remove this girl from your socials. Why don't you? It's not like you still talk to her." Felix suggested, taking your phone out of your hands and analyzing the post.

"She hasn't done anything directly to make me have a reason to cut her off... it wouldn't be right." You retorted. That thought often crossed your mind without him even mentioning it if you were being honest. It would lift a mental load on you to remove the last person who wanted to associate with your ex from your social media, but you still felt it was wrong to remove someone who never hurt you, at least with intention.

Felix scoffed. "Does it matter? She doesn't know him well enough to know what he did to you, or to anticipate what he might do to her. If it helps you in the long run, you might as well do it."

You ignored his reply, your thoughts were going elsewhere anyway. You stared into nothingness as the post's image burned into your brain, how happy the girl was to be beside the abuser. Your thoughts were going all over the place if you were being honest.

'Why do you want to associate with him? He's a horrible person! Ugh, but you don't know...'

'You don't even know how terrible he is, but I guess sometimes people only learn the hard way...'

'He literally told me not to worry about her and how he only saw her as a little sister figure but why was his hand so dangerously low in that photo...'

'Just how many lies did he feed me to keep me from trusting my gut feelings...'

'She is a pretty girl with a gorgeous figure... it's no wonder he kept his eyes on her.'

'She was the one worth driving an hour and more for without hesitation. She was the one he was willing to treat out to restaurants and gift flowers for. I was the inconvenience after all...'

Your thoughts were becoming sadder and darker as they went through each and every lie he told you. Tears began to well in your eyes until you suddenly felt your hand getting tugged, dragging you out of your thoughts and into the situation at hand. Felix started leading you towards your couch and maneuvered you into sitting onto his lap.

"Wh- Felix, what are you doing? I-I'm heavy!" You started to get embarrassed and immediately tried to lift yourself from his lap, only for him to keep you there with his arms. He kept you in a gentle yet firm embrace that prevented you from trying to escape.

"You're not even heavy, stop it." You stopped squirming and just continued to avoid his gaze. You knew if he saw the tears threatening to fall from your eyes you would hear it from him, but he surprisingly said nothing as he kept you in his arms.

He reached over to the side and grabbed a blanket nearby, drooping over his back before he took each end to make his way to wrap you in. He gently cradled your head into his neck, his head sitting softly atop yours. His other arm kept you in an unescapable hold while rubbing small circles on your back. Although you wanted to escape out of embarrassment, you didn't retaliate to his small, gentle gestures. You felt your muddy thoughts begin to clear out as Felix continued to cradle you in his arms.

"Felix... what are you doing?" You repeated with more naivety and less aggression.

"What does it look like, [Y/n]?"

Your face began to flush, but you tried your best to pay it no mind. "You don't need to do this to me, okay? I don't... I don't deserve it."

"Why do you think you don't deserve it?"

The post burned into your mind again. "Because... there are better people out there who deserve it more than I do." Like her. I'm not someone you should be doing these kinds of things to. I don't deserve it.

"Hmm... maybe you're right, but I know you deserve to feel secure and have affection too." Felix replied, adjusting slightly to turn your head to face his direction as he started brushing his fingers through your hair, pushing your loose strands away from your face to the best of his ability in your position. The gesture small yet soothing, an unfamiliar feeling that you definitely leaned into and enjoyed every minute of.

"I can't imagine what he put you through but what I can tell you is that you too are deserving of more than just being treated as an object. You're not an object, you're a human, okay? So don't ever treat yourself as anything less when you deserve more."

You felt the tears in your eyes rebuild from the ever growing happiness in your heart hearing his words, but you fought them from overflowing. You shook your head, wanting to retort more but as you opened your mouth, the words never left your throat. It felt that if you tried to counter Felix again, the tears would win over and you wouldn't be able to stop. 'I really don't...'

"[Y/n]," he softly pressed his lips against the crown of your head. "You deserve to feel loved too. You deserve to experience the joys of getting a wonderful surprise from your support system. You deserve to be invited and brought to cute and romantic dates with lots of effort. You deserve something even as simple as handholding!"

It's as if he felt your tears fall because he pulled you away from him to use his free hand to gently wipe away the tears from your eyes, not caring that they lightly stained his sleeve and shirt. He continued to brush your loose hairs away from your facial features as he made sure you kept your eyes on him. "You are loved and you will experience that love too. If you allow me, I will show you exactly how you should be treated - although, it might just be the same as what we already do."

"But... what would be the difference between the things we do now compared to the things we will do after this point?"

"Well, I guess I won't have to hold back how I feel about you. That would probably be the only difference." He said with a small chuckle. "But you don't have to worry about anything, I don't expect you to feel anything right away nor do I want you to feel rushed into deciding anything with me. I just want you to experience the love, respect, and happiness you're supposed to have."

You thought about it with a smile. Your current experience with Felix as of recently has been filled with nothing but joy and laughter. There would be times where you would vent about your healing thoughts and he would generously offer an ear and shoulder. Most of the time, however, it was genuine laughs and happiness that triggered your habit of hiccupping when you laughed too hard. Those memories you've made with him recently just made you enjoy his presence more and more. It was no lie that he made sure he always thought of your picky habits whenever others wanted to go to a restaurant, how he made your heart flutter with every smile he shone at you and every gentlemanly gesture he did in consideration of you.

It wasn't going to be an easy lesson to relearn but you knew exactly what he was trying to teach you. You don't know how to accept such kind and affectionate gestures because you were so used to bland, lustful touches. You didn't think you deserved to be treated so delicately when all you've known is how to be used and thrown to the side when the other was no longer satisfied.

It was hard, but you can feel your healing process become much easier and smoother with Felix by your side. After all, he knew you best, he witnessed you through your highs and lows to the point where he learned what ticked you off and what brought you the highest joy. He's someone who observed and applied what he learned to make sure you would be treated with the respect you deserved.

It won't be quick and it won't be easy, but one thing you know for sure is that you felt the most safe and loved with him than anyone you can ever imagine.

-End-

#tw abuse mention #stray kids scenarios #stray kids imagines #felix x reader #felix scenarios #skz x reader #stray kids x reader

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ham-st4r · 1 year

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𝓜𝔂 𝓔𝓿𝓮𝓻𝔂𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓷𝓰 - 𝓛. 𝓗𝓮𝓮𝓼𝓮𝓾𝓷𝓰

Pairing: heeseung + female reader!

Warnings: smut, dirty talk, cursing, crying, make up sex.

Genre: Ex’s to?

Summary: when you receive a text from your ex-boyfriend late at night, you can’t help but give into temptation and reply with hopes that you weren’t making a mistake.

Note: just a little something I wrote very quickly. I hope everyone will enjoy it. More works coming soon! Please reblog and leave feedback.

Number of words: 3,020k

Find your way around!

"I miss you."

Those were the words that you read on your illuminated phone screen over and over, thinking it must have been a mistake that your ex was texting you that he missed you out of the blue.

It had been six months now, and you don't know why you even still had his number saved in your phone.

Well, a part of you knew.

Even after six months apart, you still cared for him. You still craved him. You still loved him.

It took weeks after the breakup for you to realize that it was going to take a long time to get over him.

You had your first everything with him, and when he said those dreadful words, "we should break up," you thought you must have been dreaming cause you couldn't believe it. You didn't want to believe it.

You didn’t know what to do.

After all the things you did together, all the time you spent, and all the love you shared or what you thought was love, it all went down the drain.

You didn't agree with his reasoning for wanting to break up, but you understood it, and maybe just a tiny part of you was grateful that he took that step cause you're sure you would have never broken up with him, not in a million years even though it wasn't a healthy relationship you knew that you'd never stop trying to make things work with him cause you truly loved him.

But hey, maybe he did you both a favor by ending it.

After all, there had been countless arguments, nights where neither of you spoke to one another and even went to bed angry.

And that was just the start.

When you two first got together, you were both convinced you'd last forever through everything, foolishly rushing into the relationship at full speed. You both loved hard, probably too hard for only being together for two months, but that's young love, right?

But along with that came so many trust issues. Though chemistry was there, nothing else was, and even though you both loved each other, you knew two months together wasn't long enough to build trust to build a foundation, and that's why everything fell apart.

Nearly everything about the relationship was toxic. He wouldn't allow you to talk to other guys. You wouldn't allow him to go out alone, and that only resulted in arguments that you wished you could erase from the file case that you stored in your brain.

And slowly but surely, after that, nothing was off limits. It got so bad that you'd check each other's phones to make sure neither of you were cheating and even go as far as to have your friends spy on each other.

Sometimes, you'd even spend the night so you could watch everything he did, or he'd take you out on countless dates just to make sure he knew what you were doing at all times.

So now, after reading that text repeatedly, you asked yourself over and over why you replied with "me too" instead of just blocking him then and there, but there was that part of you that still loved that man with your whole entire being and even as pathetic and desperate as it sounds it was true.

"Can I come over?"

He texted back immediately after you replied.

"Sure," you reply back, and your heart felt like it was going to beat out of your chest. After six whole months of pining, you'd finally be able to see him.

Within fifteen minutes, he was knocking on your front door.

He looked as handsome as ever in his tan jeans and simple white shirt hiding beneath his leather jacket.

"Hi, y/n," he smiled softly at the sight of your beautiful face, and god, it's been too long since he last saw you. He couldn't wait another day. Even if he tried, if he didn't come over tonight, he was sure he would have gone insane.

"Hey," you breathed out, and that's all the time he gave you before he invited himself in and slammed your door shut behind him. His body moved on its own it was like you were a magnet sucking him in as he cupped your cheeks and kissed you with a burning passion.

His touch could always have you in complete shambles. You absolutely melted into him and immediately wrapped your arms around his waist. Without you even noticing, he messily kicked his shoes off and threw his jacket to the ground, all while keeping his lips glued to yours as if he pulled away. He wouldn't ever get a chance to kiss you ever again.

He easily backed you up against the couch. He didn't even need to open his eyes. He knew your apartment like the back of his hand. He remembers spending countless nights cuddled in your warm embrace while you stroked his hair and watched some random show you both happened to be into at the time.

He'd never forget those nights, not even in a million years, cause those were his absolute favorite, just you and him enjoying each other’s company.

He dropped his hands from your face and trailed them down your sides, gripping the hem of your shirt and breaking the kiss just long enough to take it off.

You gasped slightly at the cold air hitting your warm flesh, allowing him to stick his tongue inside your mouth even deeper, getting to taste every single last inch of you.

Like muscle memory, his warm fingertips skimmed over your lower back and easily unclipped your bra. He smiled into the kiss and pressed your body closer to his, humming in absolute delight while roaming every last inch of your body, touching you in the places he knew that would make you feel like your skin was on fire and make your heart skip a beat.

If it wasn't for lack of oxygen, he would have never pulled away. Unfortunately, he had to, but he didn't waste the opportunity to practically rip his shirt off and toss it on the ground. His dusty blonde hair stood messily atop his head as he leaned in yet again to get another taste of a little thing called you.

Hours, more like days. That's how long he could kiss you. Hell, he'd kiss you for six months straight just to make up for all the lost time. "God, I fucking missed you so damn much," he mumbles against your lips, his warm heavy breath fanning across your flushed cheeks.

You were already too far gone to even register that this probably wasn't the best idea, given both of your guys' history.

But you didn’t care. His scent was inviting, his touch was addictive, and his kisses were deadly.

"Me t-too," you moan quietly when he sucks the sensitive spot on your neck, knowing the exact reaction he'd get from you.

Your hands quickly found his belt buckle. You unfastened it at the speed of light and then made quick work of his button and zipper.

You stuck your hand down his underwear and palmed his erection. "Ah fuck” he moaned against the pulse point on your neck tracing his tongue over the hickey he had just created. "You always know how to make such a mess out of me," he whispered and blew cool air over your delicate skin.

To feel you so close again was literally a dream come true.

He was sure he'd never ever get used to the feeling of you. Every little thing you did felt like magic to him.

"I'm not much better off," you sighed in pleasure as he toyed with your plush breasts and rubbed his finger pads over your hard nipples.

"I’m glad to hear" he chuckles lowly and brushes your hair behind your ear, giving you one last butterfly-inducing kiss before slipping his large hands into the waist of your silk sleep shorts, tugging them down as the material hit the carpet softly.

You mimicked his actions and pulled his jeans down to his ankles so he could step out of them.

At this point, neither of you could be bothered with any further undressing. He looked deeply into your eyes and slowly laid you back on the sofa, and you instinctively wrapped your legs around his waist. He pulled his fully hardened length out of the front of his boxers, and the sight alone was enough for you to clench around nothing.

A gush of arousal dripped from your hole, soiling your panties even more.

He rested his fist beside your head, his breath hitching when he saw the huge wet spot on your baby blue panties. He teasingly rubbed his wet tip over your damp panties. "so beautiful," his bottom lip was caught between his teeth as he tried to muffle the sinful noises that threatened to come out, but inevitably they were bound to come out, and it would definitely be sooner than later.

You blushed from hearing him complement you after so long

Your hands roamed his toned chest and found their home on his broad shoulders. Your eyes fluttered shut in pleasure. Just feeling him through the thin material of your underwear was enough to make you feel dizzy. Your mind was full of nothing but him and how good he was making you feel. "Hee," you moaned, the nickname you gave him a few weeks after you both started dating. His heartbeat definitely increased after hearing you say that after so long.

"Yeah, baby, I'm right here," he whispers softly on your lips, now slowly grinding into you while adding to the number of kisses you had shared.

To hear him call you baby after being apart for six months made you feel like he was still yours and you were still his it felt like those unforgettable nights when watching your favorite show would always end up with you two having slow passionate sex on the couch.

Those were always the best nights.

He brushed his nose against yours, nudging you softly and burrowing his head into the crook of your neck.

"I can't wait any longer," you admit with a heavy breath as you run your fingers through his soft hair.

"Me neither," he propped himself up, swiftly moving your underwear to the side, allowing him easy access to indulge in you.

He quickly gathered up your wetness and coated his cock in your slick. You felt him slowly press his tip inside you stretching your tight opening with the help of your natural lubricant.

You both sighed in pleasure, eyes fluttering shut at the same time as the familiar feeling washed over you both.

He couldn't control the erotic sounds he made each time you tightened around him as you were still getting used to him again and adjusting to his size. "You always feel so good, baby" he carefully lowered his weight on you, pressing feather-light kisses all the way from your chest to your beautiful plump lips that still tingled from all the kisses he gave you.

Your hands ran along his back, gently scratching the skin and bringing him closer as you started to get more and more comfortable.

He took note of this instantly and created a slow, steady rhythm rolling his skillful hips to stroke inside of you. "Oh god," you whimper at the sheer fullness once he bottomed out. This was one of the many things you loved about him. He never left one inch of your body unsatisfied when he was with you. "Hee, please go faster" you didn't need to tell him twice.

He hoisted your legs on his shoulders, picking up the pace of his hips as he cupped your face looking you dead in the eyes while his tip repeatedly hit the deepest part inside of you. "I missed us together," he admits in the vulnerable moment, eyes full of nothing but sincerity and love.

Instead of responding with words, you bring his face closer, reassuring him that you feel the same way by kissing him with every ounce of love you have in your body.

You smile into the kiss, but your face quickly morphs into one of pleasure when he sneaks his hand in between your bodies to rub your clit just the way he knows you like. "Right there" your hands flew to his hair, tugging harshly as you tried to ground yourself from the overwhelming pleasure. It's been so long since you felt like this. The last time you felt this good was one week before your breakup.

"I know, baby. I bet that feels good, doesn't it?" You didn't even have to say anything for him to know the answer. You were squeezing around him so tight he could have cum right then and there, but he was holding off cause he wanted to cum with you. That's how he always did it.

"So good, h-hee" you had trouble catching your breath. Your whole body was shaking from the intensity of your impending orgasm. "I'm close," you whisper.

"Me too," he grunted and leaned back, squeezing your breast with his left hand while playing with your clit, adding an unfathomable about of pleasure to the mix. "feels so fucking good, baby," the feeling of your panties brushing against his cock was bringing him more pleasure than he'd ever like to admit.

When he looked at where your bodies met, he couldn't help but groan at the sight. He fought to keep his eyes from rolling back so he didn't miss a second of his cock sliding in and out of you. The front of his boxers were completely ruined from your arousal, just like your panties. Strings of wetness connected your lower halves together with every thrust. It kept getting wetter and messier, but that's just how he liked it, and so did you.

He pressed you further into the cushions creating an animalistic pace as you were now nearly bent in half while his tip hit your cervix with each roll of his hips. "Just like that, hee, keep going" your hands were now flat on his chest, nails digging into his pecs as he made you see nothing but stars.

"I'm gonna cum” you breathed out when you felt your high approaching much faster than you ever felt before.

"That's right, give it all to me, baby, don't you hold back" he started rubbing fast random patterns on your clit, tipping you over the edge in just seconds. The tight grip and rhythmic pulsating of your cunt triggered his orgasm right on time with yours. "I'm cumming” he moaned while leaning down and connecting your lips once more while he stilled inside you, his seed staining every crevice of your walls.

He was panting heavily while your tongues messily tangled around each other, teeth clashing every now and then as he slowly guided you both through your highs, rocking his hips softly while you both struggled to catch your breaths.

He rested his head on your chest, still panting softly while he listened to your heart rate returning back to normal.

After a few moments of silence, he gently pulled out of you, both of you wincing with slight sensitivity while you readjust your undergarments. "That was so amazing" he propped himself up once again, looking down on you with a fond smile that you missed cause you were too caught up in your own thoughts. "Wasn't it?" He asked, looking to you for reassurance while peppering your face with kisses.

"With you, it always is" you smiled with that same look in your eyes as when you told him you loved him for the first time and he knew he could never let you go ever again.

Just that look made his stomach churn it reminded him of what it was like when you were both together, and all the feelings of why things ended flooded his system.

All the doubt came back instantly and hit him like a truck.

Before his negative thoughts swallowed him whole, he suppressed those feelings and reached for the small blanket on your couch covering you both.

"Hey? What's wrong?" You asked after moments of him blankly staring at you.

You cupped his face, and he smiled sadly. "I'm sorry for breaking up with you an-" he quickly buried his head in the crook of your neck to hide his tears.

You immediately wrapped your arms around him to comfort him.

"I should have never left you. I should have talked to you first, but I left like an idiot.” He cried and nuzzled his face closer to you. "and I know you probably hate me, but I want you back," he to a sharp breath. "I want you back so bad I miss you so much."

"hee…" you rubbed his back. "I could never hate you," you whispered. "look at me," you cupped his face once again, looking directly into his eyes. "I love you, okay?" you wiped his tears with your thumbs, and he nodded his head, sniffling slightly. "I missed you so much, too, and I'd try a million times with you 'cause you're my everything."

"Really?" he said sadly while looking at you with puppy eyes and a smile that he couldn't hide even if he tried to.

You returned his smile, wrapping your warm arms around him comfortingly.

"so does that mean you'll take me back?" he says, feeling hopeful.

"yes, dummy, let's just try not to fuck it up this time." You say while smiling.

"Don't worry. We won't i swear i’ll listen to you. I won't look through your phone, and you can have as many guy friends as you want," he began rambling. "well, maybe keep that to a minimum of three, but I promise not to make you sad, and I will-" you cut him off with a kiss, and he just smiled at you. "what was that for?"

"cause I love you," you smiled, and he leaned down, mimicking your actions and kissing you back.

"I love you too." he hugged you close to his chest.

There was still a lot that needed to be worked out and talked about, but for right now, you just wanted to enjoy this moment with him, and you knew that no matter what the future held, he’d never give up on you, and you'd never give up on him, cause he was your everything.

FIN

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looneyleyle · 1 month

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the self-destructive habits of a hopeless romantic ~ j. hughes

synopsis: monetizing one's self-sabotaging habits, surprisingly, has its downfalls. one of them being leaving that one attractive hockey player that is an absolute gentleman who loves you with his whole entire heart.

warnings: self-sabotage, self-deprecation, angsty (but with happy ending)

word count: 3425 words

note: once again unedited but i wanted to get this one out there

???'s pov

time and time again, the world has seen the self destructive habits of humans. well, that makes it seem serious. the world has seen the countless missed opportunities due to a fear of another's reaction. the world has seen the blunders due to saving face. the world has seen the heartbreaks due to miscommunication. time and time again, the world has seen how people sabotage their own lives for the dumbest reasons.

esther graham was no different.

in fact, she capitalized on her ability to put herself into the worst emotional distress possible. every heartbreak produced a great work of literature that would nearly sell out in bookstores all over the northeast. she wasn't a new york times best seller by any means, but she was a small town writer from mont vernon, new hampshire. she made a name for herself during her time at hamilton college in their creative writing program. in her junior year of college, she published her first book, woes of a teenage failure, a novel following what could have been for a young college drop out named sophia. the book was a hit amongst her peers and professors, and by word of mouth, ended up selling 200 copies. the book, as ms. graham remarked, was her own "what-if" story, as she almost dropped out of college the beginning of her sophomore year.

and how do i know so much about ms. graham?

well, because i am ms. esther graham.

and i'm here to tell you all about the biggest blunder of my life.

after my first book, i hit major writing block. i would stare at my computer screen for hours just to delete the only three words that i could come up with. i would sit in coffee shops, pen in hand, ready for inspiration to strike, and yet, nothing. i was nearing the end of my college career, riding on the coattails of my first and only book's success, and couldn't figure out how to continue. my professors taught me plenty of ways to try and combat writer's block, but nothing worked.

until i met ryan. a devilishly handsome man all the way from the cheese state of wisconsin, who was meeting up with some college friends for the annual boston beanpot. we had our meet cute at a nearby pizza joint, in which i sat down and started chatting with him, thinking he was a publisher that i was supposed to meet with. after realizing my blunder when he had absolutely no idea what an anthology was, he asked if i wanted to join him and his friends at the beanpot, as one of their friends had cancelled, leaving them with an extra ticket.

ryan and i dated for four months. we would take turns traveling between my college in new york and his in wisconsin until eventually it became too much, or should i say, too little for him, and he broke it off. in my rage and complete depression from the breakup, i wrote my next hit, until the sun sets, a 142-page anthology of gut-wrenching poems, which was eventually integrated into hamilton college's curriculum for their young adult modern literature class. i was quite proud of that.

after that, i found myself yet again staring at blanks screens and empty notepads.

that is, until chloe. a beautiful new york native whom i had actually met while dating ryan. she was a hostess at a restaurant ryan and i would always go to. she was pursuing her masters in psychology, which gave me fascinating insights and tactics to use in my books. we were never officially together, but we had something for almost three months before she was whisked off by some californian named ella. i never saw her again, which prompted my next book, the ninth floor, a murder mystery following a closeted lesbian couple in 1940's hollywood (it was one of the girlfriends the whole time).

at this point, when i hit a creative block for the third time, i realized that i needed my heart or brain to be in absolute shambles in order to produce my best work. i needed to be at some sort of life crisis, and the easiest way to do so was to love another and let that love be ripped out of your life.

so, i began dating for the sake of my career. it was like i sought out the most manipulative, scummy people in the world who were able to get away with it just because they were attractive. over the course of a year, my first year out of college, i dated a total of three men and one woman, and poured my emotions out into a collection of short stories titled lavender.

and that was when i met jack.

i was in new jersey for a book signing at this little bookstore which, as it turns out, was right by the prudential center. as i left the bookstore, i was nearly run over by an overly excited man-child with a giant bag slung upon his shoulder.

"luke, watch out, you nearly killed that woman!" a voice yelled from where the man came from.

"i'm so sorry about that miss, my brother can get a bit overexcited sometimes." looking at the person talking to me, i found a young, very attractive brunet with the most adorable smile. i straightened myself up instinctively, wanting to appear presentable.

"no worries. if you don't mind me asking, what got him so riled up that he almost trampled me?" the man let out a laugh at my statement.

"of course, we owe you at least that much for your near-death experience. he just got nominated for the calder trophy." he explained, as if those words meant anything to me. seeing my blank stare, he clarified. "a rookie of the year award. we play for the new jersey devils." the boy in question came up and joined us, grinning ear to ear.

"ahhh, i see. i'm not a big hockey watcher, which i know is absolute blasphemy for someone who grew up in new hampshire." his jaw nearly dropped.

"you're from up here and don't like hockey? we have to change that." he exclaimed. in my peripheral vision, i could see his brother trying to hide his laughter at his brother's forwardness.

"ill have to come and watch a game sometime." i mused.

"we have a game coming up next week against the blue jackets. i could maybe snatch you a seat in exchange for your number." he proposed. his brother snorted at that, having to turn around to hide his obvious laughter. the man paid his brother no mind, just looking at me with a big smile on his face.

"trying to bribe me mister?"

"is it working?" i put my hand out and he immediately put his phone in my hand, adding my information into his contacts.

"esther? that's nice, you look like a esther." i quirked an eyebrow at him, but continued on anyways.

"and you? what should i call you?"

"call me yours. or jack, either works." the brother was doubled over on the floor at this point, jack finally acknowledging him by kicking him slightly, making him fall over.

"anyways, ms. esther, we have to get going, but ill see you next week at our game." he put out his hand for me to shake.

"you've got yourself a deal jack."

and just like that, jack and i started talking. his eagerness was cute, he texted me no more than ten minutes after meeting me. we talked every day, mainly on calls, asking each other questions and such to get to know each other.

and sure enough, the next week, i found myself back in new jersey watching the brothers play. i assumed jack was going to be some sort of benchwarmer or something, but that didn't seem to be the case. despite my lack of hockey knowledge, i could tell the boy was good, and he had quite a fan base if the amount of women wearing his jersey meant anything. and i felt severely out of place, simply wearing a grey sweater and jeans, unlike everyone else in the stands, decked out in red.

after that, i found myself going to a couple more hockey games, for no particular reason. jack would try to explain the game over video calls and our occasional coffee meet ups, but i couldn't for the life of me wrap my head around it. why do they all get off the ice every five seconds? and what the hell is offsides?? jack always laughed at my confusion, telling me that i'd get it one day.

we spent a couple months thriving off of video chats and once-in-a-blue-moon hangouts, until i got a job as an editor for a local paper. i was good at editing, always having good grammar and an eye for design, but it wasn't my dream. despite it not being my dream, i needed a stable income, and fast. my mind was devoid of ideas, and it didn't seem like that would change any time soon.

plus, it helped that this stable income happened to be in new york city, putting me a lot closer to a certain someone. and, with me being closer, that certain someone would pop on by a lot more than before. and eventually, chinese takeout dinners turned into staying the night, which turned into coming up for the weekend, which turned into the line of friendship being crossed into something more.

and then, i made the dumbest mistake of my life.

i let him go.

now, i know what you must be thinking. he must have done something wrong, he must have cheated or neglected me or done something so completely unforgivable that i would just throw away the most amazing thing in my life. and i wish i was here to tell you that was the truth.

but it wasn't.

jack was nothing but a gentleman, and i was just a broken girl doing the only thing i knew how to do: leave. i like to tell myself that it was for my career, that i needed to write another book, that i wasn't fulfilled in my job and that i was putting myself first by doing this, but i was perfectly content with my life. i was an editor for a major publishing company, i started writing little happy poems about my mundane life with jack, and wanted nothing more. i had no reason to run away. i just woke up in his bed one day and realized that i wanted to spend the rest of my life with him, and i couldn't accept that. i had gotten so used to leaving people that i assumed that they would leave me if i hadn't done so first, and i couldn't lose the one real thing i ever had.

so naturally, my self-destructive, self-sabotaging self let him go, the exact opposite of what i wanted.

and when i got back to my apartment after writing jack a confusing and half-assed letter, i cried. i cried and cried and cried, and i always wrote about characters crying until they couldn't anymore, but that day, i couldn't find the end to my tears. for hours tears would either slowly leak or violently pour from my eyes, and they never did end, not even when i passed out on my couch from exhaustion.

and after a week, i was expecting to pick myself up and start writing my next best seller, coping with my writing. but i sat there, and my florescent computer screen simply sat there, staring back at me. and when i left my apartment for a change of scenery, the blank pages of my notebook mocked me. i flipped through past works, all of them being little poems about jack, and the waterworks continued, right in the middle of a starbucks.

after a week and four days, i couldn't take it. i had to make things right, i had to at least see him. it always worked in the books, right? someone makes a huge mistake, they break up, they see each other again and realize they're both miserable without each other and then get back together and live happily ever after.

when i knocked on the door to jack's apartment, i was met with an unimpressed looking luke. at the sight of him, the waterworks started up again.

"you're an idiot, you know that?" i nodded furiously at this, sobs wrecking through my body. i couldn't see through the tears in my eyes, but i could tell the luke hadn't moved a muscle.

"he deserved better and you know that." i felt my soul being crushed. "i mean, a letter? seriously esther? and a half-assed one at that. i know damn well you don't have a degree in creative writing for that bullshit."

i opened my mouth to explain, but nothing came up. what would i say, that i was a broken person? cop out. that i did it to everyone? not much better. that i got scared? fucking coward.

"if you think that you deserve to see my brother, then i'll let you in." he told me, moving out of the way, door open wide. i just stood there, staring at him through teary eyes. my brain cheered, finally able to go in, but my feet wouldn't move.

my heart still clenched and ached, and with every thought of moving forward, into that apartment, it hurt more. jack didn't deserve this. after all the nights of him reading my poems about him and praising my work, after all the sweet things he'd say when i was down, after all the little acts of kindness he showed me, after all the love he poured into us, he didn't deserve to be broken by me. hurt people hurt people, the scholars had that right. he didn't deserve to be broken.

and so, i got ready to leave, again.

"i'm sorry." was all i said, turning around with heavy legs and a heavy heart. i heard luke let out a sigh as i walked away, closing the door behind him.

a couple of days went by and i found myself back at their apartment. i knew they wouldn't be there, they had an away game in anaheim the night before, and i knew from my time with jack that they would always spend the night in the city before coming back, especially after a win, a 5-0 win no less.

i stood there in front of their door, a small box in my hands, contemplating. jack didn't deserve this, but a selfish part of me needed this. i placed the box gingerly outside of their door and left the building. if the box was taken by some nosy neighbor, or thrown in the trash by some janitor, then it would be fate. it would be a sign to move on. but, there was a chance that jack and luke would come back to their apartment, and would pick up the box, and jack would recognize my handwriting. and, instead of throwing the box in the trash like any normal self-respecting person receiving a box from their shitty ex, he would take it to his room, and open it up to see my notebook, with a bookmark starting at the pages when i first started seeing him. and he would read the poems and maybe, just maybe, he'd see the note written on the bookmark to meet me at the park near his apartment, and maybe, just maybe, he'd be willing to hear me out.

i went to that park every single day for exactly one month and six days, always arriving by 1 pm, never late. and i would stay there until 4 pm, waiting.

on the 37th day, i was sitting there, editing, funnily enough, a sports column about the recent devils and islanders game. i watched it, absolutely terrible game it was, the islanders beating the devils for the first time in the season. our sports journalist, while passionate and very knowledgeable about seemingly every sport out there, had a knack for writing long, run-on sentences that reflected his rambling nature. as i sat there on the same park bench i had been sitting on for the previous 36 days, a figure stopped in front of me. i finished up the sentence i was working on before looking up.

and while i hate cliches, the wind was absolutely knocked out of my lungs.

"h-hey jack." i started, immediately putting away my work, giving him my full attention.

"hey esther." a shiver ran down my spine from him just saying my name. it had been so long, and while it lost its loving tone, i welcomed it with open arms. jack moved, taking the spot next to me, looking out at the trees in front of us. when it became apparent he wasn't going to say anything, i started the conversation.

"i see you read the notebook."

"i finished it three weeks ago." he replied, voice lacking its usual emotion. tears welled up in my eyes. three weeks.

"oh."

"i came here immediately after finishing it." i felt my eyes bulge out of their sockets at that. he continued, "i went to that bench over there and watched as you fidgeted in your spot, looking frantically at everyone who passed by. i watched the next day as you sat in the pouring rain with no umbrella. i sat over on that bench every day that i was here since reading your notebook."

a silence fell upon us, my mind reeling, trying to figure out what he was trying to say, from his emotionless face to the fact that he came.

"do you know how much it hurt? waking up to empty sheets and some half-assed note with the lamest excuses on earth?" i hadn't really paid mind to the tears rolling down my cheeks until he brought that up, sending me back to that morning, quickly scribbling out some gibberish before leaving the best part of my life behind.

"i was going to wait another month, y'know. to see if you were still gonna come here every day."

"so why didn't you?" i asked, sniffling intensely, trying to calm down my sobs.

"luke said i was absolutely miserable without you. coach told me i wasn't focused. my teammates pointed out that i barely left my apartment. the icing on the cake was when my mom started asking if you would be coming over to the lakehouse this summer. i realized, as pathetic as it seems, that i can't live without you."

my attempts at stopping my crying were thrown out the window at that. i could probably fill the hudson river with the amount of tears i had shed over the past two months.

"how can i make it up to you. please, please let me make it up to you." i begged, fully facing him, my hands angrily playing with the sleeves of my shirt because if i didn't, i would be reaching out to the man in front of me.

"never pull that shit again." he bargained, looking me dead in the eyes for the first time in months. and in that moment, i saw just how bad he was doing. sunken eyes with heavy bags, his skin dull, hair slightly unkempt under his hat.

"never again." i promised, putting out my pinky to him, something he would always do when he promised me to not get hurt in games. he let out a hoarse laugh, looking away from me, and when he looked back, i saw the tears brewing in his eyes. he took my pinky in his and held it there, between us.

"now, i'm not gonna just take you right back after all that. that was really shitty and i need some time to get over that. but, as i've found out, i can't really function without you. so maybe you could start with coming to my games again, and i could take you out for coffee next week."

"sounds perfect."

i accepted my life as an editor for the local newspaper, accepted that i probably wouldn't write another page-turning sell-out book, accepted that i was completely content with whatever happened to me, so long as jack was there with me.

and with that, my self-destructive, soul-crushing, heart-breaking tendencies reached their end.

#jack hughes #jack hughes x oc #new jersey devils #fanfic

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gojolatte · 2 months

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now we are one, let me love you ↳ g. satoru x g. suguru, g. satoru x reader ♡ angst, fluff ↳ tw: death, mention of a afterlife ♡ self-indulgent (I'm still trying to cope)

just thinking about the moment Satoru releases his final breath as his soul lets go. he can finally be at peace because he knows he's about to see you and suguru soon. he can't say that he hasn't braced himself for this moment because he has. it makes him wonder what his afterlife will be like.

will you be waiting? will it be suguru? maybe both?

regardless, he's going to make up for lost time. hold you like he's afraid he's going to lose you again. kiss you like he's missed you because he has. so fucking much. the last thought on his mind causing a smile to gradually grow as a single tear falls from his eyes.

he's going to be able to be happy again.

no sorcery, no saving others, no more loneliness. no more sleepless nights, no more nightmares.

you have more time to be able to be together.

he's always regretted the way things ended with you and how he wasn't able to save suguru from spiraling into madness. hated how he wasn't able to protect you from your untimely demise after your breakup. how his last words to suguru weren't what he truly wanted them to be.

how he wasn't able to protect the both of you from yourselves.

after losing both of you he vowed to never love again because he knew he would never feel the same way he felt for the two of you, for anyone else.

"welcome home, Satoru.”

satoru blinks, his heart doing leaps and bounds as he stands in front of the two people he fell in love with at different points in his life. his bottom lip wobbles the second he takes in your warm smile that makes your eyes crease, arms wide open for him to run into. he had hoped he would be able to see the both of you but he didn't expect the both of you to be waiting for him together. he was sure he would have to search for at least one of you but he's glad. it makes him happier to know that, even in death, you both are willing to stick by his side.

willing to be with him.

willing to still love him.

"I'm so sorry."

"It's not your fault, satoru." Your voice is gentle but firm, knowing (and hating) that he blamed himself for your death. Honestly, You had no business going on missions when your head and heart weren't in the right place. Losing your best friend, Kento, during the Shibuya incident had you spiraling but also, feeling like you were losing your grip on your life and relationship was the nail in the coffin. Your breakup took a harder toll on you mentally and everyone could see it. Yaga tried to stop you but you were too hard-headed to listen to reason. Even the higher-ups knew all of this and they still sent you to your death. If anyone was to blame, it would be them.

satoru remembers seeing your lifeless body on the table like countless others, only breaking away when shoko finally covered your corpse. feeling the curse of loving someone all over again. he went through with suguru and now you were an added casualty. you weren't supposed to be there and Satoru felt if you hadn't agreed to end things, you would have still been alive.

"You can't blame yourself for our mistakes. I chose my path, satoru." suguru says, placing a soft kiss on top of his forehead with a softer smile before pulling away. "I can't change what I've done but I've accepted it."

his mind reels remembering how he was forced to end suguru's reign of terror.

"I forgive you. You were doing what was right." the tears streamed down satoru's face as he listened to the both of you. his heart breaking for the third time as he releases a sob, feeling the way you're reaching up to rub the back of his undercut. he relaxes as much as he can but you know it's going to take some time for him to truly be okay.

"I've missed you both so much."

"Well, now we have all the time in the world," You chuckle, letting satoru step away to try to get his bearings.

"an eternity to make things right."

you both hold out your hands as he takes one of yours and one of suguru's. the tranquility washes over him in waves because he can't believe this is his afterlife, this is his serendipity. surrounded by snowfall and sweet flowers blooming around you as you lead him to his safe space.

his haven.

143 notes · View notes

bellaturner · 10 months

Text

The Unexpected

Unusual fluff (?)

Summary: you went to an Arctic Monkeys concert as a distraction to your recent breakup, but ended up having an unexpected connection with Alex.

TW: breakups

3,6k words

Masterlist

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

I had just broken up with the man I thought was the love of my life. Nothing made sense anymore: the sky was permanently gray, the grass was dead beneath my feet, and the chirping of birds had become a melancholic tune. Life had lost its vibrancy, leaving behind a hollow emptiness.

We had been together for six years. To my twenty-four-year-old self, it felt like an eternity. But then, it all came crashing down. The signs were there, lingering in the shadows. Silently warning us of the inescapable end, but neither of us wanted to face the turmoil of ending a relationship that had lasted for so long.

However, as days turned into nights, we found ourselves tangled in neverending arguments. Even when we were together, I felt alone. The solitude became impossible to deal with, and we couldn't bear the weight of our shared life any longer. Honestly, I still struggle to pinpoint the moment where it all went wrong.

Despite everything, a part of me still cares for him. Perhaps that's why I made the difficult decision to sever our ties. I couldn't stand to hurt him any more than I was already doing by simply existing by his side. Each fight pushed him further away, and the thought of his fading presence tormented me.

Eventually, I reached my breaking point. Something had to change. So, with a heavy heart, I decided to officially end what had long been over. In that final moment, as we parted ways, not a single tear fell from his eyes, and that realization cut me deep. I had hoped to see a glimpse of emotion, a reminder of what we once had. But it became clear that I had been mistaken, painfully wrong about his feelings. The truth hit me hard and shattered me into countless pieces.

I felt utterly lost. There was no other way to put it. Waking up each morning became a burden, and I found myself hoping to die in my sleep. The days lacked any meaning. My friends were concerned, and my family shared the bruises of my heartache. After all, he had become part of our lives during those six long years.

But then, on that fateful day, everything changed.

It was my final semester of college, the moment when I was supposed to embrace my dream of becoming a mechanical engineer, fueled by my passion for motorsports. But now, it all seemed foolish and pointless. Every ambition had lost its spark.

In one of my last classes, vehicle electronics and control systems, tears started to melt my notebook pages, forcing me to leave early. I sat on a bench outside the building, next to the parking lot, gaining the courage to return home and confront my feelings again. There weren't any more pictures of us in my room, but the memories of moments shared in it were still there.

That's when Lana, one of my closest friends and an audio engineering major, found me.

"That's it!" she exclaimed, her voice filled with frustration. "I can't take this any longer, YN! I know you're hurting, but you have to move on. You ended things a month ago, but you said it yourself: it's been over for nearly a year!"

"But Lana—" I tried to interject, but she cut me off, refusing to listen.

"I've got backstage passes to a festival I'll be working on next week, and you're coming with me. No excuses. I don't care if I have to drag you by your hair." Her determination startled me, but I knew she was right. "Come on, YN! Pretty please?" she pleaded, putting on that irresistible lost dog face that I could never say no to. She even added the praying hands this time. There was no way I could escape her demands.

"Okay," I relented, sniffing and wiping away the tears from my cheeks. She had a point. I couldn't bury myself in this hole any longer. It was time to start crawling out of it.

"Yay!" she exclaimed, jumping up and down with joy. "That band you love so much is playing on Saturday! The Arctic something, you know?" she said casually.

"I beg your pardon?" I shot up from my seat, disbelief washing over me. "The freaking Arctic Monkeys are going to be playing, and I have a backstage pass?" It felt too incredible to be true. There was no way in hell something like that would happen to me—the unluckiest person in the world.

"Yup, that's the one. So you're going!?" she said happily.

"Of course I am. I had bought tickets to it long ago, but with everything that happened, I guess I kinda forgot about..."

"Hey, hey, stop it!" She cut me off once again. "You're not allowed to say his name or even think about him!" she protested. "I'll be working, though, but maybe that's a good thing. You could try to find some other monkey stan to hook up with!" she said with a mischievous smile.

Lana is unbelievably straightforward. But I think that's why I love her. My silly little girl. My best friend.

I chuckled at her suggestion, shaking my head in both amusement and disbelief. "You never fail to surprise me, Lana. Finding another 'monkey stan' " I scoffed "I just want to enjoy the music and forget about everything else. No more falling in love."

Lana nodded, her expression softening. "I get it, YN. This is your chance to have a great time." It was a statement, and I knew that she would make sure of that.

Her words resonated with me. Maybe this concert was exactly what I needed—an opportunity to let go of the past and rediscover my own happiness. I smiled at my friend, grateful for her support.

"Thank you, Lana. For being here. I appreciate you more than you know."

She grinned back at me, her eyes sparkling with excitement. "I know, I know! I love you too, YN. Also, that's what friends are for".

With newfound determination and insane anticipation, we made plans for the festival. Lana shared more details about it and the lineup of incredible artists that would grace the stage on that weekend. But the thought of seeing the Arctic Monkeys perform live is what filled me with a mix of nervous excitement and sheer bliss.

Finally, the day of the concert had arrived, and I couldn't contain my excitement. I slipped into my favorite band t-shirt, a quirky image of the members dressed as clowns and the words "who the fuck's Arctic Monkeys?" boldly printed across it. With the backstage pass hanging proudly around my neck, I could feel the anticipation building up inside me.

Lana, being the amazing friend she was, had made sure everything was perfectly arranged for us. As we ventured backstage, the air buzzed with an electric energy that sent shivers down my spine. From my privileged viewpoint, I could see the massive crowd and the whole stage, just waiting for the Monkeys to take their places.

"Hey, listen," Lana said, her voice filled with a mix of excitement and responsibility. "I have to go work now, but you stay here and have the time of your life, okay? Text me if you need anything or decide to explore elsewhere. I love you!" She planted a kiss on my head before disappearing into the backstage area.

Not long after she left, the stage lights illuminated the massive venue, and the band made their entrance from the opposite side I was at. The opening chords of the first song reverberated through the speakers, igniting a surge of excitement and cheers from the crowd. I surrendered myself to the music, letting it embrace me completely, like a warm blanket. The world around me faded away, leaving only the hypnotizing rhythm and the lyrics that resonated with my soul.

With tears streaming down my face, I allowed the familiar melodies to stir deep emotions within me. Each song evoked a different feeling, and I embraced every single one. I couldn't help but dance like there was no tomorrow, losing myself in the moment. The euphoria overwhelmed me, and it felt like I was floating on a cloud of pure bliss.

As the concert progressed, around the third song or so, I caught a glimpse of Alex looking in my general direction. My heart skipped a beat, but I quickly dismissed it as a mere coincidence. He was probably just checking out his surroundings or searching for someone from the production team. I decided to step to the side, not wanting to obstruct his view, and to my surprise his head turned with me as I moved over.

Our eyes briefly locked, and in that split second, I could feel my whole face burning up. Was he actually looking at me? It felt like a fever dream, the kind you never expect to come true. It was probably the effect of one too many unlimited drinks I had enjoyed, courtesy of my backstage access.

Whether it was a genuine look or a result of my tipsy imagination, I couldn't help but revel in the moment. The music enveloped me, drowning out any doubts or rational thoughts. I surrendered myself to the rhythm, dancing like an old lady, feeling the pure bliss of being swept away by the insane energy of the concert.

The combination of the music, the crowd's energy, and the enchanting presence of Alex on stage created an atmosphere that was nothing short of magical.

'Arabella' was the sixth song played that night, and I'll never forget it. As soon as I heard that familiar guitar at the beginning of the song, I could feel the excitement running through my veins. It is one of my all-time favorite songs, a track that holds a special place in my heart. I can't quite put into words what it makes me feel, but it is a mix of exhilaration, warmth, and an indescribable amazing sensation.

My legs turned to jelly, and I found myself leaning against a nearby wall for support as I watched in awe. The combination of Cookie's amazing guitar riffs, Matt's powerful drumming skills, and Nick's pulsating bass lines drove the crowd into a frenzy. The energy was palpable, radiating through every beat and note.

My attention was drawn to Matt and his extraordinary talent behind the drum kit. His precision and sheer passion were a sight to behold. As I focused on him, completely immersed in the music, that indescribable feeling of watching my favorite band perform live washed over me one more time.

And then, it happened again. When I shifted my gaze towards Alex, I found him looking straight at me. Our eyes locked in for the second time that night, making my cheeks flush. I was grateful for the dim lighting that hid my embarrassment.

As he sang, a smile formed on his lips, almost like he knew what he was doing: singing my favorite song and looking straight into my eyes. I felt like he was singing it just for me. It was a crazy moment, and it made me down the rest of my beer in one gulp. I swear he let out a soft chuckle, away from the microphone.

As the last verse sounded through the air, I knew I had to sing along with the crowd, my voice merging with the chorus. "That's magic! On a cheetah print coat!" The lyrics echoed around me, lighting up my face with a huge smile while the tear roamed free.

As the concert continued, there were a few more instances when my and Alex's eyes met, a fleeting connection in the midst of the electrifying atmosphere. But I brushed it off, convincing myself that it was just part of his stage presence, a way to engage with the audience.

But, as the final notes of the last song gradually faded into the air, signaling the end of an unforgettable night, I figured that Alex would follow his bandmates, disappearing into the same entrance he came from. To my surprise, he broke away from the rest of the guys, walking towards the side of the stage I was at.

His steps were purposeful and determined, making my heart race as he approached. The gap between us was closing quickly, and I tried to steady my trembling hands and calm my racing thoughts.

A rush of excitement and disbelief flooded me as he stood before me, and I was hit by the combination of wood, whisky, and tobacco scent that he emanated, leaving me momentarily speechless. His eyes sparkled with exhaustion and genuine appreciation.

"You sure look like you had a great time, love," he said with a husky voice, sending shivers down my spine. I couldn't help but let the butterflies fly around my stomach by the way he casually referred to me as 'love,' that charming British accent adding an extra layer of charm to his character.

I mustered a shy smile. His presence was magnetic and the whirlwind of emotions inside me made it difficult to speak.

His gaze traveled up and down my figure, a playful glimmer danced in Alex's eyes as he glanced at my t-shirt. "Your choice of attire is quite captivating," he said, letting out a laugh that made my cheeks flush. "Join me for a beer, will ya?" he asked, his tone more of a confident statement than a mere question, gesturing for me to follow him deeper into the backstage area.

"Al, mate, come join us!" Matt's voice carried excitement for the post-show celebration. "We're going out for-"

"Not tonight, man," Alex responded without even glancing in Matt's direction, his eyes fixed on mine, unyielding. "I think I'll just head back to the hotel. Thanks, though."

I stood there, stunned, as Alex brushed off his friend's invitation without a second thought, leaving me wondering if he had a different plan in mind. Matt shrugged and joined the rest of the band, while I remained rooted to the spot, my mind swirling.

"Well, it looks like I have some free time," Alex's eyes held a glimmer of curiosity and a hint of a smile danced on his lips. "How about we grab that beer we were talking 'bout?"

Excitement coursed through my body, and I nodded eagerly, unable to contain my smile. "Sounds great," I replied, my voice filled with faked confidence. "Lead the way."

As Alex led me through the backstage area, we entered a private room tucked away from the bustling crowd. The moment the door closed behind us, the noise dissipated, leaving behind a sense of tranquility. The room was dimly lit, adorned with vintage music posters and instruments that had an aura of creative energy.

Alex approached a small cooler, grabbing a couple of cold beers, and handing one to me. "Here you go," he said with a charming smile. "Make yourself at home, darlin'. I'm just gonna change real quick,"

"Thank you," I replied, accepting the beer gratefully. My heart raced, the British mannerisms swiping me off my feet again. I watched him disappear into the bathroom, feeling a mix of excitement and nervousness.

As Alex left, I took a moment to take in the room. The instruments scattered across the space caught my attention, particularly the grand piano sitting in the corner. My fingers itched with the desire to touch the keys. It had been ages since I last played one.

Leaving my beer on a nearby table, I made my way to the piano bench. Sitting down with my back turned to the bathroom door, I ran my fingers gently over the smooth ivory keys, and began to play a familiar tune, allowing the notes to flow from my fingertips.

The sound filled the room, a gentle melody that mirrored my emotions. I closed my eyes, losing myself in the music, letting it carry me away from the moment. When I was younger, I used to say that the piano was my voice, expressing the emotions that my words couldn't capture.

The sound of footsteps made me snap back into reality. I swiftly rose from the bench, ready to apologize for my impromptu performance, but before any words could escape my lips, Alex interjected.

"Please, don't" Alex said, his voice laced with a hint of awe. He stood at a distance, his eyes fixed on me and his hands shoved into the pockets of his worn leather jacket. "That was beautiful. You have a gift."

"Thank you," I managed to say, my voice betraying any attempt at sounding nonchalant. "It's been a while since I've played."

He chuckled softly, his eyes sparkling with playful charm. "Well, consider me a lucky man then."

A genuine smile spread across my face as I admired Alex's transformed appearance. He had tidied up his hair and changed into a sleek white collar dress shirt that accentuated his abs. His leather jacket added a touch of rebellious charm, and he was wearing that illegally sexy scarf of his.

"You look like a brand new person." I remarked, walking past him to retrieve my beer can.

He smirked, a flicker of amusement dancing in his eyes. "A change of clothes and a splash of cologne can work wonders, wouldn't you agree?" he replied, his voice dripping with playful modesty.

I smiled at him once again, feeling a sense of ease settling between us. Taking a sip from my beer can, I realized I hadn't properly introduced myself. "I'm YN, by the way," I said, trying to keep the conversation casual.

"It's a pleasure, YN. I'm Alex," he replied warmly, his voice inviting. I couldn't help but chuckle quietly, knowing exactly who the musical genius before me was.

"The pleasure is all mine," I responded, lifting my can in a toast. The clinking sound filled the air.

His gaze shifted towards the vinyl player nestled in the corner of the room, catching his attention. He walked over to it, selected a disc and delicately placed it on the turntable. The soft crackle of the needle meeting the vinyl filled the air, as the melodic tunes gracefully unfolded.

Returning his focus to me, his eyes sparkled with curiosity, a genuine interest shining through. "So, YN, what brings you here tonight?" he inquired, his voice carrying a gentle warmth.

I couldn't help but laugh at his question. "Aside from your amazing songs?" I replied playfully, my gaze meeting his. "Well, my friend is working backstage, and she managed to get me a ticket. I couldn't pass up the opportunity to see you perform live."

He nodded, a hint of appreciation in his eyes, and then he extended his hand towards me, gently taking hold of my beer can and setting it aside.

"Will you dance with me, YN?" he asked, his voice turning my thoughts into a blissful haze, as my name rolled off his tongue.

My heart skipped a beat, and I eagerly placed my hand in his, feeling the warmth of his touch. "I'd be delighted," I replied, my voice had a hint of nervousness to it. "I must warn you, though, I'm not the best dancer."

He simply smiled, his touch steady yet gentle, as his other hand found its place on my waist, effortlessly guiding me across the dance floor. We moved in harmony, a mixture of playful twirls and gentle sways, surrendering ourselves to the embrace of the music.

The song came to an end, and as if on cue, Alex pulled me even closer, making me look at him. The room buzzed with energy. His hand, which had been resting on my waist, moved to the back of my head, gently tangling in my hair, sending a thrilling shiver down my spine.

My lips parted with a soft sigh, surrendering to the gentle tug he made on my hair. The reaction prompted Alex, as he leaned in, allowing our lips to touch in a delicate kiss.

His lips were soft and insistent, exploring every inch of my mouth. It felt like he was perfect.

The room was filled with the gentle white noise of the needle scratching the record, creating a soothing ambiance. But then my phone started buzzing in the background. We initially ignored it, lost in our passionate exchange, but after it rang three times, Alex broke the kiss.

"Maybe you should answer that, doll," he whispered, his fingers caressing my hair as he brought me back to reality.

"Hey, Lan," I said softly, my gaze locked into his dark brown eyes. He stared right back at me.

"WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU!?" Lana's voice boomed through the phone, making me hold it away from my ear.

Alex burst into laughter, seemingly amused by the situation.

"I'm sorry, Lana. I got carried away," I explained.

"Oh, come on! Who's with you? I heard laughter," Lana teased, her voice adopting a playful tone. "Did you meet someone?"

"Oh, she definitely met someone," Alex interjected, his distinct accent making his words stand out.

"Is that-" Lana started to ask, but her question remained unfinished. It was an overwhelming experience for me.

"May I?" Alex asked, reaching for my phone, and I nodded.

"She's alright, Lana. She'll be with you shortly," he assured her before ending the call.

"One for the road?" he whispered, his fingers gently tracing my swollen lips.

I chuckled in response, and he leaned in, our lips meeting once again in a passionate embrace.

"Can I have your number?" he asked, his forehead resting against mine.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

This has been rotting in my drafts since May, I truly didn't know how to end it so I just left an open ending I guess.

I also experimented writing in first person, which I don't intend on doing anymore tbh but let me know if you liked it anyways.

I've been asked a couple times to tag people, so lmk if you'd like to be tagged on my next fic.

As always, love youuu 💕💕💕

~ Bella

198 notes · View notes

lxtstrip · 10 days

Text

Homesick | C. Sturniolo

TW: weed/drugs mention

AN: first sturniolo fic — also don’t do drugs, smoke a joint (pack a bowl, rip a bong, eat an edible idc!) where/when legal and enjoy.

WC: 935

Pairing: Chris x Reader

“Stay in Boston.” Chris read with confusion from a crumpled note he found in his newly thrifted hoodie pocket. He didn’t think much of it, just some trash left by an artist in Los Angeles. Whether it was a photographer, videographer, songwriter, or maybe a failed sketch was anyone’s guess.

What he wasn’t aware of was the treacherous journey that hoodie had taken to get to him and its ties to the city he called home. The hoodie had gone through a family vacation, a boy’s high school career, moving into a college dorm, a relationship, many italian ice date nights, and a breakup. The hoodie signified an era of someone’s life; the same tagline as everything else you lay your eyes on at a thrift store.

He thought about everything he had ever known as the items were piling up in his newly found second hand collection. Donating his skates when he was 13, his mother cleaning out the garage of all their holiday things, and even down to his brothers piling clothes on the bed to list for sale online. He didn’t own much, just enough to keep him out of trouble, so the thought of someone having enough to give away was enough to make his head spin.

He kept the paper regardless of whether it was trash or not. Chris adored Boston and only associated positive memories with it. Fenway Park, Gillette Stadium and TD Garden were his go to places to hang with his friends, brothers, or even alone. He remembers frantically Googling ‘free things to do in Boston’ before dates and eventually dipping into his wallet after he couldn’t find anything good with pride. He was someone who would do anything to make anyone happy, whatever the cost, but he couldn’t apply that theory to himself.

When all was done and dusted for the day he decided to shut himself in his room and unwind. He ran his fingers down the spines of the books you gave him, reading the titles to himself, hearing your voice with each syllable. Empty promises of going to visit him came flooding back into his memory as soon as he saw your favorite book; tattered edges, taped spine, and a receipt paper bookmark. He shook himself out of it and went to his desk to pack a bowl.

With a swift flick of the lighter Chris pressed the glass to his lips and inhaled for a moment feeling the weight of the world lift off of his shoulders. He sat in his computer chair and looked around his room for signs of you - something, anything. He repeated the motion a few times and grabbed the torn piece of paper from his thrifting excursion.

“Stay in Boston.” Chris repeated to himself countless times before grabbing his phone. He knew your number by heart and as soon as he hit the call button an all-too-familiar ache came over him. He took another hit and exhaled when he heard your voicemail message play. He never thought he’d be here; alone, in his room, pining after a love lost.”

“Hey, it’s Chris…” he started. “I wish you were here. I’ve said it every day to myself while I’ve been out here. I know neither of us wanted this… I don’t think either of us knew what we wanted. I’ve been getting by on memories of stumbling to diners and stealing the mugs or skipping classes to go hang out at the park…” he took another hit and sighed. “What I’m trying to say is my heart will always have a space for you, my brain has always had one.”

You looked at your phone to see another voicemail from Chris. You shrugged it off thinking it was most likely another message he recorded at a party where he would preface it with whatever drug he was taking at the time; the west coast ruined him. As much as you hated to admit it you kept up with their videos and you locked in on Chris looking more gaunt every time.

You hadn’t answered a call from Chris in months and you never reached back out. You listened to his newest voice message as you recanted the first call since the split. He had just done a few lines of cocaine and he described it as feeling a sense of finally being able to focus to a greater extent. It shook you to your core that a once happy-go-lucky boy turned into… this. You couldn’t even begin to describe what you were feeling.

Chris often called to describe his high to you; cocaine, ayahuasca, benzos, acid, angel dust, salvia - the list went on. You were still his safe space and since he drew the conclusion you weren’t even listening to them he let his troubles go in the safe space of voicemails and dial tones.

Chris clutched the “Stay in Boston” note and thought about what it meant to the previous owner of the hoodie. Chris also thought about why this would fall into his lap and when it did. He slowly fell back into his nightly routine while he continued to contemplate that random piece of paper.

After a night of continuing keeping up his high, losing games, and melting his brain over three words Chris decided to head to bed. The second he was in bed it’s as if on cue he saw your name flash across his screen. It knocked his next breath out of him as he answered with a simple “Hello?”

“Chris…” you said followed by a shaky exhalation. “Please stay in Boston.”

#chris sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #chris sturniolo x reader #christopher sturniolo x reader #sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo #matthew sturniolo #nick sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #tw: weed #tw: drugs #lmk if we need anymore tw’s friends!

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hoes4hoseok · 1 year

Text

drive

enhypen as 80's music :: jake as ‘drive’ by the cars

"you can't go on thinking nothing's wrong, but now, who's gonna drive you home tonight?"

pairing :: jake sim x gn!reader genres/au’s :: 80s college au, ex! childhood friend! jake, second chance romance, fluff and a sprinkle of angst at the beginning warnings :: mentions of drinking, mentions of cheating word count :: 1.2k author’s note :: coincidentally, i became obsessed with disney's new rom-com, prom pact, a few days after i started working on this. if you love 80's rom-coms you should def watch it, it was like fuel for me to finish this. anyways, i hope you enjoy! beta readers :: @hanniiesuckle17 and @skz-minchan-enthusiast !! tysm for your help :) soundtrack :: drive by the cars

you aren’t one to stay at a party after starting to cry. so instinctively, upon seeing your very drunk boyfriend with someone else on his lips, you bolted, knowing what was to come. struggling to see past the salty puddles forming in your eyes, you somehow pushed and shoved your way to the most secluded section of the party, at least in the middle of winter — the pool.

and, finally staring down at the illuminated glow of the chlorine-filled water with your legs crossed, you let the tears fall into your hands. the two of you had only been dating for six weeks — despite the fact that you had liked him for months before that. but it was good that you found out now instead of later. crying was the best way to bounce back from a breakup. it was shedding the grudges over your wasted time, of course, but mainly your misplaced trust. these were words of wisdom you had come up with on the spot to comfort yourself, of course, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t true.

after what felt like 20 minutes, your tears slowed to a stop. almost instantly, you became very aware of the temperature, your nose now cold as ice. to your relief, you had a couple of tissues in your jacket. you used them to wipe your tears and nose as you looked up, peering into the party through the sliding glass door. it was only 11 pm—the night was still young. but all you wanted to do was go home and be met with the warmth of your bed again. watch the vhs you rented for a chick flick he said was too “unrealistic”. but you had driven your ex-boyfriend’s car here, and you weren’t particularly in the mood for the hour-long trek that walking home would be. yet. you were going to make yourself ‘in the mood’ even if it took all night—because enduring a car ride from your ex or any of his friends in that overcrowded house party was out of the question.

“y/n?”

you looked up again upon hearing the familiar voice — it was jake — as in, your other ex-boyfriend jake. who you hadn’t seen in months.

he stood with his brows furrowed in concern, sliding the door shut behind him. “what are you doing out here?”

you managed to crack a slight smile as he walked around the pool. “nothing, it was just way too stuffy in there. i don’t love crowds, you know that. you can go back inside,”

“okay,” jake completely ignored your suggestion, lowering himself to the ground with his legs crossed just as you had. “then why were you crying?”

“no offense, but this is not a conversation i’d like to have with you,” you looked up at jake, eyelashes still wet from your tears.

“why, because we dated for two minutes in junior high, or because i’ve seen you cry countless times before?” jake wore an amused smile, shrugging while he continued. “suit yourself. i’m great at comforting people, though,”

“it was not two minutes, it was three weeks. and you’ve only seen me cry twice,” jake’s smile widened at your response, knowing you were warming up to him again. “my boyfriend was making out with someone else in there,”

“oh…” jake began, his voice softening, “that sucks. he’s the one who you went to prom with last year, right?”

“yeah,” you looked down at your hands, stuffing them into the pockets of your windbreaker. “we weren’t dating yet, though,”

“ah yes, i remember,” jake nodded, “my mom kept telling me how upset you were because he didn’t ask you out. you guys took a long time to make it official,”

“yeah, yeah, thanks for the recap,” you cupped your face between your hands, resting your elbows on your thighs. “i’m an idiot,”

“if this made you an idiot, half the planet would be one,” jake scoffed, “you liked him. it’s easy to get blindsided by people you have feelings for,”

“well, half the planet needs a reality check, then,” you exhaled deeply, “i know i did,”

“why do you insist on blaming yourself for something that was solely that jerk’s fault?” jake rolled his eyes as he leaned back on his palms, knowing you weren’t looking his way.

“i don’t blame myself for the fact that he cheated, i blame myself for not seeing that coming,” you gazed down at the motionless water. you weren’t sure what exactly was making this conversation so easy, but you figured it came down to jake catching you at the right time.

“if you’re going to take one thing away from tonight, i think it should be that now you know he isn’t worth any more of your time,” jake explained, “the past is past. and for the record, i think you’re an idiot for reasons that have nothing to do with your dating life,”

“you’re one to talk, jake sim,” you grinned involuntarily while you swung your head back to look at jake, who had started to laugh before you even reached your hands around to his torso to tickle him.

“sorry!” he put his hands up in defense.

“you better be,” you retorted, adjusting your seat to face him. “i’ll tell your mom if you keep that up,”

“that threat really lost its weight when we left high school, y/n,” jake shrugged, shaking his head jokingly. “you need a new source of leverage,”

“oh, don’t worry about me. i have plenty of leverage,” you reminded him, “i have a big supply in the box of photos i brought from home. it’s in the album called ‘jake’s mullet’,”

jake leaned in close to you, eyes widening, “you still have those?”

“...yes,” you confessed, “but no soul has seen them since you got rid of it — apart from me. it cheers me up when i’m feeling down,”

jake heaved a sigh, “well…i can’t complain about that. my roommates see your experimental hair from junior high every day,”

you tilted your head, furrowing your eyebrows. “what’s that supposed to mean?”

“i have that picture of you and my dog before we went to the spring fling together up in my room,” jake admitted, “next to the one of my family and me at graduation,”

“oh…” you started to mutter, your smile fading in thought.

it warmed your heart a little bit to hear that jake held onto those memories just as you had. it was nice to feel remembered. and not only as a second thought.

“before you can demand that i take it down — which is not happening until i take another one to replace it, by the way,” jake began, pushing himself up onto his feet by the hands, “let’s go, i’m freezing,”

he brushed his palms together to get rid of any poolside debris before extending his right hand for yours. “come on. don’t worry about that dirtbag; he can figure his ride out on his own,”

you had forgotten about said dirtbag for about five minutes. those were the best five minutes you had in a long time. clutching to jake’s hand (which was somehow still warm), you stood up. you found yourselves only inches apart, your gazes meeting in a manner that took you back to the night of the spring fling. he had only grown more handsome in the years since, from his jawline to his impeccable hair, but that wouldn’t have mattered to you. you thought he was gorgeous back then too, embarrassing mullet and all.

“so, what do you say?” jake asked, “can i drive you home?”

enhypen as 80s music series ☆ masterlist

#hoes4hoseok #piper's en- as 80s music 🎸#jake 😚#jake sim #sim jaeyoon #jake sim fluff #enhypen #enhypen fluff #jake sim x you #jake sim x reader #jake sim x y/n #jake enhypen #sim jaeyoon imagines #jake sim imagines #sim jaeyoon fluff #enhypen jake #enhypen imagines #enhypen ff #enhypen x reader

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takecareluv · 2 years

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Hi! I had to recently cut off one of my childhood best friends because she was becoming toxic and I kept on getting hurt, but it really hurts because she really meant a lot to me. I was wondering if you could write a fluffy Vinnie imagine where he encourages the reader that she made the right choice and comforts her to get her through it. Thank you, I’m sorry that was so long.

a.n. hi!! i’m sorry it took so long for me to write this… just wanna say i’ve been in the same boat as you so i know how much it can suck to go thru a friend break up like this :/ but don’t be too hard on yourself . and please know even if you feel bad about it, you made the right decision. lots of love <33

bestie breakup || vinnie hacker x reader

it had been a hard week for you. you never once expected that you’d eventually have to let go of one of your closest friends, someone who had been like a sister to you for majority of your adolescent years.

but yet here you were writing that long text out in the notes app of your phone.

after being hurt countless times by your best friend’s careless behavior, you finally came to the conclusion you had to let her go. it was an internal battle that took over your mind for months on end, leaving you unsure of what the right decision would be. but when you finally stepped back and realized the friendship was costing you your own happiness, you knew what had to be done; you had to do right by yourself and your mental health even if it hurt for the time being. and hurt it did.

vinnie could tell the whole thing had taken a toll on you. his usually cheery, happy-go-lucky girlfriend had barely left the house, let alone bed, all week.

you tried to hide it from him, but he heard every sniffle, and saw all the dried tears you attempted to wipe away before he entered the room. it broke his heart to see you so sad. he wanted to do whatever he could to get your mind off it all, even if it was just for a little bit.

﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏˚♡˚﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

vinnie got up extra early the next morning, wanting to go pick up some of your favorite goodies before you woke up and noticed he was gone.

first he stopped at target, purchasing your go to snacks and candies, along with a pint of ice cream, face masks to do later, a yummy smelling candle and a fuzzy teddy bear he knew you would love.

next stop on his list was your favorite local cafe where he ordered what you always described as the best latte in town and a toasted chocolate croissant, knowing it would put that smile on your face he missed so much.

once your drink was ready he carefully carried it to the car and made his journey back home to you.

by the time he pulled in the driveway and walked into your shared bedroom, you had just woken up. rubbing your eyes and rolling over to face him, you reached out for your beloved boyfriend. “where did you go?” you questioned while pouting, “missed you when i woke up.”

“sorry baby, went to pick up breakfast for you.” vinnie explained as he revealed the iced latte in one hand, made just the way you like it, along with the warm croissant in his other. handing you both, he then began emptying the target bag of treats. “i also got you some of your favorite snacks, ice cream, and face masks we can do later. i thought we could spend all day in bed and watch your favorite movies,” he smiled at you in hopes you would like the idea.

“vin, you didn’t have to do all this.” you cooed, starting to get emotional over how sweet your boyfriend was.

“of course i did, love. i hate seeing you so sad over y/f/n so i wanted to do whatever i could to cheer you up today. miss seeing that pretty smile of yours.” he said while cuddling up to your side and placing a quick kiss to your forehead.

after a few moments of silence, he began to speak again. “you made the right decision, you know. don’t feel bad for doing what was right for you. you deserve to be happy and y/f/n was awful to you at the end. it wouldn’t have been fair to yourself if you stayed around just because you’d been friends for so long. i know it hurts now but trust me, you’ll thank yourself in the future.”

you hadn’t even noticed you began crying until vinnie used his thumb to wipe the salty tears from your cheeks.

“thank you, vin. for always being here, and being the best boyfriend a girl could ask for,” you whispered.

“it’s what you deserve, baby. you deserve the best of everything, i hope you know that.”

#vinnie hacker #vinnie hacker x reader #vinnie hacker imagine #vinnie hacker x you #vinnie hacker x y/n #vinnie hacker blurb #vinnie hacker fluff #vinnie hacker fanfic #meg writes : ♡₊˚𓂃⠀◟

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klance-brainrot · 4 months

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klancing all things end by hozier

tw: angst, mcd, klance on-off relationship

They know they will break up again and then get back together and then break up again because they just don't work together but they can't live without one another.

Their personalities clash too severely for it to work permanently.

"The last time I felt your weight on my chest, you said: we didn't get it right, but love, we did our best"

this is them knowing they are going to break up again soon because they can't be together for more than a month and they both feel the end nearing. This is the calm before the storm, this is the night before another big fight, this is the cuddle before the argument.

"Just knowing that everything will end and we should not change our plan when we begin again"

this is them talking about their next try at a relationship and how, even though it never works, they would never change anything about their fucked up relationship attempts because at least they can be together that way.

"All that we intend is built on sand"

when starting new they both already know it's going to fail again. it's a fragile peace, it's all built on sand, it can be swept away by a single wave.

"If there was anyone to ever get through this life with their heart still intact, they didn't to it right"

this is Lance standing over Keith's grave and thinking about all they could've been and all they could've done together if it had worked. But it didn't work out. They tried so often but it never worked out, but Lance knows he doesn't regret a thing, he would've tried over and over and over again for those moments where it does work.

Until it doesn't.

Since he knows Keith, he knows, he didn't regret a thing either. Keith too would've tried over and over and over again just for those few moments of peace in between.

Their friends and family had tried countless times to tell them that it wouldn't work - it wouldn't work this time and it wouldn't work the next time they tried, but they never listened. For a while they tried to keep their distance from each other, but both of them were doing so bad during it. Lance was barely eating and ended up in the ER. Keith thought he was the only one suffering that badly but once Shiro let it slip that Lance was in the hospital he couldn't do it anymore and he came back. They always came back to each other. They cant live without each other.

"I have never known a silence like the one fallen here, never watched my future darken in a single tear"

this is the first time they broke up. They really thought it would work but their personalities and traumas and behavioral tendencies just work against each other unfortunately. Keith thought it was fixable, he would try everything, but one fight had gone too far and Lance breaks up with him. He sheds one single tear while doing it but remains otherwise neutral and says that it's probably better form him to take some time for himself. Keith is numb from shock and can't really say anthing, nothing that'd help Lance stay. So he watches the single tear fall and he watches him leave. For the first time. He will watch him leave over and over and over again.

"I know we want this to go easy by being someone's fault, but we've come long enough to know this isn't what we want"

this is their 5th breakup. They've done this before. They know how this goes. They get back together, they are good together for a few weeks until everything goes down the drain again. Most of the time there isn't even a trigger really. It's just a few fights too many and a few unfortunate things said that hurt bad. Too bad.

Lance says this when he's about to leave again - they both know it's both of their fault and at the same time it's noones fault.

Because that's who they are.

Keith with his parental trauma and need to distance himself from the ones he loves, and Lance with his fear of abandonment and being the second choice. He grew up in a happy family and can't deal with Keith's traumas forever. He needs to put himself first and he can't do that while being with Keith. But he can't live without him either.

They can't live without each other.

thank you @justdissimp for the beta and @numerous-bees-in-a-skin-suit for the encouragement <3

#they can't live without each other guys.#soooo normal about them (lie)#Also sorry for the pain I don't know where that came from #tbh I normally don't read angst and I would not touch mcd with a 3m pole but.#I've been brainrotting to hozier and this had to get out #sorry to the discord server for the surprise angst LMAO #voltron #klance #fanfic #klance fic #klance fanfic #klangst #kangst #langst #keith kogane #lance mcclain #vld #voltron legendary defender #og brainrotting

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munsonsreputation · 1 year

Text

Soon You'll Get Better

Chapter One: Doctor's-Office-Lighting

↢ prologue | series masterlist | chapter two ↣

summary: revelations of max's mental and emotional health come to light when you and steve take her to a check-up. determined to do whatever you can to help her, you and steve work on getting her to open up about her life. max comes to realize that the support is genuine and that she isn't alone, whether if it's about her state of mind or relationship.

word count: [12.2k] kinda proof-read

: ̗̀➛ pairings: big-brother!steve x max & big-sister!reader x max

: ̗̀➛ romantic pairing: steve harrington x fem-college-student!reader

: ̗̀➛ warnings: talks about mental and emotional health, billy's death, self isolation, panic attack, crying, talks about attempted sewerslide (max almost says it, but steve stops her), mentions of breakups, overall a lot of fluff despite the angst.

With the sun beaming down at Hawkins and the skin tickling breeze passing by, it would’ve seemed as though nothing bad had ever happened in this small town, but that would be far from the truth.

Max hadn’t felt the warm enveloping blanket of the sun and the gust of wind against her skin in days. Instead, she spent the dwindling hours of summer locked in the trailer, watching the same VHS tape on repeat like background noise while she paced back and forth cleaning up the pile of messes and lost in her own thoughts.

The only time the depths of misery in her mind paused was when the telephone rang. She would stare at, contemplating on answering, but just being too drained to even reach it or utter a single world. Her best friend El, leaving countless of voicemails asking when she would like to hangout next or simply if she was ok.

She didn’t like worrying El. It wasn’t her fault that she was feeling like this. At the end of the day, it was no one’s fault. But shutting people out just seemed to be her default way of dealing with everything, especially something like this.

“Max, honey,” A few more knocks tapped on her door. For once her mother was home, but spent the day figuring out payments with the bank and handling a bunch of adult shit that she was too far to care about.

The young girl sighed, kicking off her blankets, and staring up at the ceiling. One. Two. Three seconds before she mustered the energy to get up and open the door. “What’s up?”

Her mom looked over behind her shoulder, then back at her daughter, “Your friend El is here. She’s worried about you.”

Max brushed past her mom, heading straight down the narrow hallway of the trailer until she saw her best friend along with Steve and you, his girlfriend, on either side of her.

“Hey—” She couldn’t even get the whole greeting out before El had stepped forward and bound her arms securely around her best friend, a sigh of happiness leaving her mouth.

Slowly, Max hugged her back, not knowing that El was this concerned about her and if she had known that her best friend was going to show up unannounced like this, she would have picked up the last seven calls she had missed.

“Why haven’t you picked up my calls?” El wondered, pulling away and observing the features on Max’s face that seemed to have dulled.

The apparent bags under her eyes, a tell-tale sign that Max had not been getting enough sleep and was fatigued.

“Busy doing chores, I’m sorry, El.” Max felt terrible, she didn’t mean to treat her friend like this, let alone make her worry so much, but El just gave her a reassuring smile and shook her head mouthing, “It’s ok.”

“Did you ask them to drive you here?” She looked at you and Steve as you two nodded, him stepping forward first to give her a hug.

Max didn’t share many hugs with Steve, but today she granted him one knowing he took the time out of his day to drive here, “She was worried, which then made us worry, so we wanted to come here to make sure you were alright.”

When he pulled away, he took notice of the way Max forced a laugh just as quickly as it died in her throat when you stepped forward and hugged her strongly.

“Are you doing ok, sweetheart?” You inquired softly against her hair, and she only replied with a “yes,” before you had nodded and pulled away, not wanting to poke and prode.

It wasn’t long before her mother came back into view, resting a hand on Max’s shoulder and smiling at you three. You could tell she was worn out, the same way Max was. But the only difference was that her mother was good at trying to hide it. Meanwhile Max tried to, but the discomfort on her face said it all.

“I actually wanted to ask a favor from you two if that’s ok?”

Max glanced behind at her mom, raising a brow, but she squeezed her shoulder warmly, “Max, why don’t you invite El in for a little bit? I just need a word with these two, ok?”

She wanted to ask why, but not wanting to make the situation sticky, she grabbed onto El’s hand and led her inside of the trailer and towards her room where they could catch up in private.

Her mom stepped outside, closing the door behind her and smiling at you two, “I just hope this isn’t too much to ask, but, Max actually has a check up tomorrow morning, but I can’t take her because I’ll be working.”

You and Steve’s eyes caught the way her fingers fidgeted against one another, a distinct perception of stress and anxiety, just because of her asking for the favor.

“We could totally take her!” You chirped, taking away the embarrassment she had felt for asking such a favor from some teens.

Steve nodded, wrapping his arms over your shoulder and pulling your side into him, “Yeah, the two of us are both off, so it should be no problem.”

Her mom shifted eye contact between you both, “Are you sure it ok? The appointment is at nine, but I could reschedule it if that’s too early.”

You shook your head, looking over at Steve with a smile, “We’re usually up before then, so nine is perfect.”

When you looked back at her, she was more than relieved, placing a hand over her heart gratefully.

“Thank you! I would send Max there herself, but they need someone over eighteen to be with her in case, and I know she really trusts you two the most.”

Max wasn’t always particularly close to you and Steve, but as she had caught more rides from you both, she had warmed up to you two out of all the older teens.

“We’d be happy to take her. Do you have the address by any chance?” Steve sought before Max’s mom nodded, gesturing back inside the trailer.

“I’ll go write it down and I’ll be back out.”

You watched as she hurried back inside, leaving you and Steve there waiting.

“Maybe we could stop by a little cafe and get her some breakfast before we pick her up?” You suggested, leaning your head on his shoulder.

He kissed the top of your head first, “I’ll need a coffee. Do we really look like we’re the type of people to be up by nine in the morning?” Steve half joked with a short laugh.

You snorted, nudging him softly. “I didn’t want to make her feel bad…if this is the least we can do to help them, we can sacrifice a few hours of sleep.”

“I know, I know, you’re right.” He apologized, resting his chin on top of your head while they waited around for a couple of minutes before her mom and the two girls had come emerging from the door.

You reached for the small piece of paper with the scribbling of the address written on it with a faded blue ink that was still readable. Steve took it from you when you passed it to him, placing it in his jean pocket and creating a mental note to not forget it was there.

“Do you think I can stay for dinner?” El requested kindly towards you two, who were just offered to stay a little longer by Max’s mom.

Steve hummed, checking the time on his watch, but sadly shaking his head when he saw the time, “Sorry, El, we promised Hop we’d have you home by five remember?”

She pouted nevertheless, but smiled when Max hugged her and told her that it was ok.

“Maybe tomorrow you can head over to Will and El’s after your appointment?” Her mom suggested, “But you’ll have to ask her and Steve for a ride since they’re taking you tomorrow.”

The redhead grumbled, pulling away from her friend and looking at her mom begrudgingly, “Can’t we reschedule?”

Her mom shook her head, taking a deep breath. “You’ll need to go, Maxine. My insurance plan finally is in effect and it’s covering all our medical expenses, thank god.”

“Fine.” She puffed, crossing her arms over her chest a clear sign that she did in fact not want to step foot into any doctor’s office whatsoever.

“C’mon, hon, let’s get you back home before your dad freaks.” You smiled delicately, reaching a hand out for El who took it, and stood by your side.

Steve pointed at Max, a small smile on his face, “We’ll see you tomorrow morning, alright?”

Max just nodded, forcing a smile as she watched the three of you get into the car with El in the backseat, waving goodbye to her best friend as they drove off into the late afternoon.

“Maxine, I know you’re upset.” Her mother spoke apologetically, resting a hand on the small of her daughter’s back, guiding her back into their home.

She moved away from her mother’s hand, settling onto the couch to bring her knees up to her chest, “I just don’t understand why you can’t take me? Can’t you just go to work late?” she argued.

Her mom sighed heavily, grabbing dishes from the small cabinet and placing them down on the even smaller corner table of the trailer, “Honey, we’ve been through this a million times.”

Max rolled her eyes, the script she had memorized time and time again flowing out of her mouth before her mom had anytime to beat her to it, “Going in late means missing hours which means less money, which means no food, no electricity, no money, no rent, no home.”

Her mother took a deep breath in and out, approaching Max and kneeling at her side. “I’m sorry, Max. You know I have to do this for you.”

“Yeah, I know, it’s whatever.” Max brushed off, resting a heavy head on her kneecaps with an unsatisfied frown.

With the windows rolled down, El relaxed in the soft leather seats of Steve’s BMW. The only sounds were the soft hum of the icy cold air conditioning cooling the hot air and whatever that was on the radio playing faintly.

“You ok back there?” Steve said, looking into the rear-view mirror catching the sight of the young girl who wrenched her shoulders.

You turned back and gave her a one over. The pout was still on her face and now her arms crossed like Max had hers a few minutes ago, “What’s the matter, hon?”

“Max….she is sad.” She told you two obviously.

Steve pursed his lips, glancing quickly behind at her, “Did she tell you that?”

She shook her head, but spoke, “I know she is. When I asked if she was ok, she didn’t answer.”

“I’m sure she just wants some time to herself,” you assured her. “Her and her mom are still trying to adjust to life without Billy and his dad around.”

It had been a little over a year since the battle at Star Court where Billy had sacrificed himself to the mind-flayer in order to save Eleven’s life. You and Steve could still recall the memory vividly. How you two watched from the second story of the mall where you two had been throwing fireworks alongside Lucas and Max in order to deter the monster.

Yet it all happened so quickly, Billy putting himself in between El and the mind-flayer, before getting brutally wounded by the creature and the blood oozing through his white wife-beater and splattering in the air.

Max couldn’t believe her eyes, dashing down the stalled escalator stairs and dropping to her knees beside her slain brother. His eyes blanking out and only a few words escaping his mouth before he had died. She was in shambles, shaking him, screaming at him to wake up, but he had accepted his fate.

You and Steve had rushed down the same steps, nearing the two girls who had been weeping. El had pulled Max into arms, letting her cry there, and shielding her eyes from her brother who was bleeding out in front of them.

“I’ve got Max.” Steve declared, running up to the girls and guiding Max out of Eleven’s hold and into his arms where he led her outside of the mall.

El had immediately sprung to you, crying into your shoulder as you walked the two of you behind Steve and Max as the sirens resounded through the air.

Ambulances, firetrucks, and military vehicles overflowed the mall parking lot as they all hastily assessed the well-beings of the children first.

Hopper had found El in the back of an ambulance, the scar on her forehead being dealt with before he embraced her in a tight hug.

Nancy wrapped a blanket across the shoulders of her brother Mike, rubbing her hands and down his shoulders to create warmth.

Lucas and Erica ran to their parents as soon as they saw them stopped at the bright yellow caution tape, baring them off from seeing their kids.

She watched as everyone reunited with their family while she had no one waiting for her. But you and Steve, stuck by her side in the back of the ambulance, letting her rest her head on Steve’s shoulder while you soothed her.

Steve shook his head at the horrible remembrance, thankful that the worst was over and finally everyone in Hawkins could live in peace away from all that supernatural shit. He had you and his friends, something he was grateful for, but a part of him still felt the heaviness of it all, especially for the young girl Max who never seemed to fully recover from the year ago attack.

“I’ll tell you what,” Steve started, catching El’s eyes in the rearview again, “If she’s up for it, we’ll swing by tomorrow and take you guys to the arcade.”

El erupted at that, smiling broadly with an excited nod which made you laugh, hopeful that Max would feel a little better and would want to have some fun with her best friend that missed her greatly.

The next morning, Max was out of bed earlier than usual not wanting you two to wait around for her if you two were to show up earlier. She had gotten dressed in her usual baggy jeans, a stripped t-shirt and Billy’s oversized jean jacket to go over it.

A note hanging on the refrigerator read, “Have a good day, Max…Mom loves you, always!” She left it hanging there, switching on the TV while she waited.

When a soft knock followed by her name, came against the door, she knew you two had arrived. The clock on the stove read 7:15 just a few minutes early. She promptly grabbed her keys and her walkman, hooking it onto her jeans and opening the door.

“Morning sunshine.” You radiated against the morning sunlight, holding out a small cup of hot cocoa and a breakfast sandwich for her.

She actually smiled a little, locking the door before taking the items from you as you both walked the short distance to the car where Steve had been waiting in the driver’s seat.

“Hey Max, the cocoa good?” Steve turned, watching the young girl open the door as she took a sip of her drink.

She hummed warmly, and you shut her door before getting into the passenger, “I told him you were more of a latte type but he supposes that sixteen-year-olds shouldn’t be drinking coffee.”

Steve rolled his eyes, picking up his now empty cup of black coffee, and shaking it side to side, “Kids shouldn’t be drinking this shit.”

“So you’re calling yourself old?” Max proposed, opening up her bacon, egg, and cheese taking a bite.

“I think he is.” You tormented, jabbing at Steve’s side while he fussed and Max snorted quietly at the scene.

You and Steve looked so happy—not only as a couple, but just as humans.

For the most part, you all had gone through the same things last summer—except you and Steve were locked in the Russian base while Max and the others dealt with the mind-flayer stuff. Nevertheless, the anguish and memories of what had happened all remained the same throughout their group of friends, yet everyone else seemed to get over the hump of what happened.

Everyone except her.

She wanted to be happy again. Happy with herself. With her friends. With her boyfriend. With life. But everything just seemed as though it wouldn’t pass.

The sadness, the guilt, the nightmares would never be something she would be able to escape.

As you drove to the doctor’s office, you tried to make small talk with Max, asking her about what she had been up to lately. She gave short, one-word answers, and you could tell that she was still feeling down just like yesterday. Steve remembered what El had told them about Max being unhappy and decided to try to see if he could get her to open up.

“Max, is everything okay?” Steve finally asked, breaking the silence that passed after a couple of minutes.

Max shrugged, staring out the window of passing buildings and slower cars, “Just tired, I guess.”

You exchanged a worried peek with Steve, but didn’t push her to talk. It would only make her more uncomfortable and irritable, something you both wanted to avoid.

The doctor’s office was a small clinic a little further into town, nevertheless you three were on time, avoiding the morning bustle of traffic on this Friday. Steve greeted the woman at the front desk, checking Max in while she helped you fill out the necessary forms.

“Maxine Mayfield?” A nurse called out as she walked into the waiting room.

You patted Max on the shoulder, giving her an encouraging smile. “Just call out if you need us, ok?”

“I will.” She assured you, following the nurse into the exam room.

The appointment wasn’t anything special, just a yearly exam to make sure everything was going smoothly with Max’s health. They checked her ears, eyes, reflexes, and asked her a few questions.

“One last thing,” the nurse smiled, putting down her stethoscope and grabbing the clipboard and pen resting on the counter, “This is just a short questionnaire I need you to fill out. I’ll leave the room and give you a few minutes ok?”

Max nodded, grabbing the clip board and begun filling out the form. Reading the questions in her head and thinking for a few seconds before appropriately determine where she fell in each of the boxes. After ten minutes, the nurse came back, collecting the form and allowing her to head back into the waiting room while the doctor reviewed the report.

Steve sat up when he saw her emerge from the doors. He recognized the jean jacket to be Billy’s, practically too big and swallowing Max up whole. “How was it?”

Her pointer and middle finger gestured to her eyes then back at him, “I still have 20/20 vision and impeccable hearing.”

“That’s what we like to hear.” You grinned, patting a chair between you and Steve so she could sit awhile until she’d be seen by the doctors and discharged.

The waiting room was quiet. Just the small talk of the receptionists and replay of I Love Lucy playing through the TV filled the comfy space. You conversed with her for a short while, talking about the Kate Bush tape she had in her walkman. She let you have a listen to her favorite track, “Running Up That Hill,” telling you about the meaning of the song before her name was called, prompting you to take off the headphones.

“Guardians of Maxine Mayfield?” The doctor wore the typical white coat with a stethoscope cloaked over her neck and a clipboard in hand with Max’s files.

“Here.” Steve stood up, and the doctor smiled, nodding her head gesturing for you and Max to come along into her office.

“Are you her brother?” She called for, holding the door open to a small room.

Steve looked at Max unsure of how she wanted him to answer that, and the redhead shrugged, “Something like that.”

The doctor chuckled, offering you three a seat in front of her desk. Max sat in the middle with you and Steve on either side of her.

She glanced through the documents once more, and nodded to herself before looking at you two, “Everything seems to be looking good with her physical health. She did great on the vision exam and even better on the hearing test.”

Max smirked, nudging both you and Steve with her elbow. “Told you so.”

The doctor looked over the last page of the clipboard, the questionnaire that Max had filled out moments ago, all indicating worry, “But we do have an area of concern when it comes to her mental and emotional wellbeing.”

Max could feel the space suddenly become thicker, all eyes shifting towards her and the painful quietness lingering as you all expected her to say something, but she didn’t. She didn’t want to admit that there was something obviously going on in her life that she had been hiding, but now was eating her alive.

Steve coughed, tearing his eyes away from a very uncomfortable Max and looking at the professional, “W-what’s the matter?”

She pulled off one of the pages, and slid it towards him, “On a scale of zero to five, five being everyday, have you been feeling down, depressed, irritable or hopeless? She checked off five.”

You gulped, looking at Max who now seemed to be burying her head in her shoulder, looking towards the door closest to Steve.

“Max, do you want to talk about it?”

She shook her head, her shoulders sulking deeper, “It’s nothing. Everyone feels like that sometimes. It passes. Normal teenage shit.”

“Hey,” Steve pointed, shaking his head at the explicative, “language.”

The doctor shook her head, understandingly, “No, it’s okay. Max, these feelings your having isn’t normal. I know it may seem like it, but if you’re constantly feeling bad about yourself everyday, then it may be a bigger issue.”

She reached for a pamphlet in her desk drawer, gliding it towards Max who finally peered at it. A girl crying in bed on the front page, with some sort of statistic in bold font above.

“Most teenage girls your age are more likely to develop depression and anxiety, especially if there are contributing factors like bullying, isolation, a rocky home life—”

Max snapped her head, suddently triggered and fed up with the conversation, “Nothing is wrong with me!”

Your eyes enlarged, attempting to soothe her with a touch of your hand on hers, “Max, hey, c’mon—”

She recoiled, retreating from your hand, “No!” she shouted, standing up, directing her anger towards the doctor in front of her who didn’t take the outburst personally, knowing there had to be an underlying issue.

“You don’t know what I’m feeling. You don’t know my life. You don’t know a damn thing about me or my family.”

With that, her feet thudded against the floors, tearing the doctor’s office door open and hurling it shut. She didn’t care about the stares she got from the other patients in the waiting room and the receptionists calling out for her—she wanted one thing and it was to get the hell out of that place.

You and Steve had never witnessed a frenzy like this from Max. It was out of character for her to take help defensively. She obviously had her guard up for a reason, but you two had no clue what it was about.

Steve only glanced at you once, before he was following behind her. “I’ll check on her.” You nodded, remaining in your seat as you shot the doctor an apologetic look that she lifted.

“I want Max to know that I’m here to help, not to judge her. Her answers to the questionnaire is extremely concerning. Do you maybe have any clue as to what might be causing these feelings?” She asked you and your thoughts for a moment, shrugging your shoulders.

“I mean,” you gulped, “s-she lost her brother over a year ago, but she hasn’t really opened up about it too much to know.”

The doctor nodded, reaching for another pamphlet and passing it to you, “That could be it. Especially for girls her age, it can be hard to talk about what they’re feeling. All of these emotions she’s been dealing with could be starting to build up and bubble over.”

You took a deep breath, nodding, trying to process what had just happened and what were the next steps to helping Max. Telling her mom would probably make her more upset, yet you didn’t know if it was right for you and Steve to keep it a secret.

Steve raced out the clinic doors before it could close shut and Max was even faster darting towards his car, tugging on the door to try to hide away in the backseat, as if she wasn’t going home with either of them seeing her breakdown.

“Max! Stop!” Steve pursued, clutching her shoulder tenderly, to try to get her to look back at him.

Through the reflection of the glass window he could see her scrunched face, reddening cheeks with tears pushing past the brink of her eyelids where they tumbled down. Her chest heaved up and down heavily as her fingertips tightened around the door handle, still trying to tug it open.

“O-open the door, Steve.” She choked, pushing her shoulders back to try to get his touch off of her, which he complied with, dropping his hands from her shoulder, but never opening the car doors.

He sighed, moving beside her, stooping down a bit to look at her.

“I’m not opening the door until you talk.”

She shook her head, fingers wiping her cheeks when she finally met his eyes that were full of concern, “T-talk about what! How f-fucked up my life is? Is that what you wanna hear?”

Steve swallowed thickly, shaking his head with immediate regret. That wasn’t what he wanted. For her to think he pitied her or wanted to force her to open up. He just wanted to be let in, to know why she was feeling like this and why she hadn’t asked for help sooner.

Her eyes kept on him, the tears never stopping their journey down her cheeks. Her jaw trembling as she started to speak once more.

“God, Steve, I mean, isn’t it obvious that my life is total s-shit? I don’t need a doctor to tell me that I’m fucking sad! I already know that! She doesn’t think that I already know that I’ve contemplated to—”

He didn’t let her finish her sentence, “Hey, hey, c’mon,” smoothly guiding her head to his chest where she ultimately ceased talking and open mouth sobs left her instead. She let herself fall into Steve’s hold, her finger tips falling from the car door and instead clinging around Steve like an anchor, which would be the only thing to keep her from floating away.

Her sobs grew louder by the second, every single suppressed emotion she had been bottling up inside of her finally overflowing into tears that now drenched Steve’s polo. But Steve didn’t mind at all, holding her tighter as he closed his eyes tightly and begun whispering soft words of reassurance to her.

As you tightly held onto the pamphlets the doctor had given you; you pushed open the doors of the clinic, instantly met with the scene of Max in Steve’s arms. Your heart sank, quickening the pace of your footsteps as you shoved the papers into the back pocket of your jeans.

When Steve had finally opened his eyes, with his arms still engulfed around the young girl he held, he saw you, face full of concern as he mouthed, “she’s not ok.”

You winced, nodding your head, still calmly approaching as you placed a loving hand on her shoulder. “Hey, I’m here.”

She slowly retracted her face from Steve’s chest to look at you. Her features were twisted in heartache—brows furrowed and the tears streaming down her face, leaving a trail of wetness in their wake. Her lips quivered as she tried to catch her breath to speak to you, yet she couldn’t.

Instead, she unwrapped herself from Steve, hurrying into your arms where you immediately wrapped your arms around her securely.

“Shhh, I’m right here, sweetheart. It’s gonna be ok, ok?”

You held her close, clinging to her shaking body with each sob she took, rubbing her back gently and offering her the comfort she desperately needed. Steve watched the scene unfold, his own eyes filled with tears and without hesitation, he moved closer to both of you, wrapping his arms around you and Max.

Together, the three of you stood there in silence, holding onto each other as if your lives depended on it. Max continued to cry, but her sobs grew weaker as the moments passed. The only sounds in the car were the occasional sniffle or hiccup as she worked to regain control of her emotions.

When she finally did begin to pull back, Steve immediately let go, as did you, watching her concerningly as she mopped her tears with the back of her hand as she asked, “can we g-go home?”

“Of course.” Steve nodded firmly, finally opening the back door where he let her get in first.

You quickly got into the passenger seat, rummaging through the glove box where extra napkins were kept, and you passed her a few to dry her tears with and she let out a quiet, “thank you.”

The drive home from the doctor’s office was subdued, the only sounds in the car the soft hum of the engine and Max’s occasional sniffle. You and Steve exchanged worried glances, both of you unsure of how to help Max in her current state, but still determined to, nevertheless.

When you three finally pulled into the trailer park, you’d fully expected for Max to wave her goodbye and let that be the end, but instead she invited you inside.

The trailer was clean and tidy, not a single pile of mess could be found in the space, but it was mostly because Max had spent all her days in here trying to use up her time in any way shape or form that didn’t deal with facing anyone.

“Do you want me to make you some lunch?” You offered politely, shrugging off your jacket and slinging it over one of the kitchen chairs.

Max went over to the small sofa into the middle of the living room, shrugging her shoulders as she pulled Billy’s jean jacket over her body like a blanket.

“There’s some crackers and peanut butter in the pantry. That’ll be ok for me.” She said, and you nodded, grabbing a plate and butter knife from the dish rack and heading for the pantry.

Steve sat on the other side of Max, still placid as he wanted to wait for you before talking to Max about the events that just unfolded. After a few minutes, you returned with a plate of crackers and a small dish of peanut butter on the side. You offered it to Max, and she happily took it, beginning to munch down on the snack.

You looked at Steve, his eyes silently telling you whether it was ok for him to speak about everything and you nodded lightly, just enough for him to see.

“Max, uh, do you wanna maybe talk about how you’ve been feeling?” He proposed, resting his elbows on his knees, watching her chew her last bites before she swallowed and shrugged.

She was hesitant to open up. She had never really told anyone at all about how she was really feeling inside. It wasn’t something that she normally talked about…her feelings that is. She thought it was just better to suppress everything, but today was the breaking point and she knew that it was time.

“Sometimes, I feel so lonely,” Max expressed, her voice barely above a whisper. “I know I have you guys a-and my friends, but sometimes it feels like nobody understands what I’m going through.”

The pain she felt. The loss. The sadness. The guilt. That’s what nobody knew she was going through.

Steve reached over and placed a comforting hand on Max’s shoulder. “We may not know exactly what you’re feeling, Max, but we’re here for you. Always.”

Max nodded, her eyes misting over with tears as she felt comfortable to say a little more. “It’s just that...I’ve been feeling so guilty lately,” she continued, her voice trembling. “About Billy’s death. Like it’s my fault somehow.”

Her eyes finally turned to yours, first, ocean blue orbs looked like a flood of waves crashing with the tears beginning to form.

Then her head turned to Steve, blinking where the salty tears leaked again, “I-I just keep picturing his face. The…the blood. E-everything comes back to me and I can’t escape it.”

The words poured out of her in a rush while you and Steve listened attentively. Distress coating both of your gazes as you watched Max’s tears begin to pour quicker, her voice nearly breaking, and her hands shaking as she went on.

“M-maybe if he was here, then I wouldn’t feel this way, but…but I know that I can’t do anything. And I hate it! I hate that I can’t do a-anything about it!”

Steve could see the panic rising in Max’s eyes, and you both knew what was coming. Sure enough, a moment later, Max let out a strangled sob and clutched at her chest, her breathing ragged.

And so Steve quickly got up, stretching towards the kitchen for a glass of cold water while you scooched closer to Max, holding her hands in your palms and soothing your thumbs over her shaky knuckles.

“Hey, take a deep breath for me, Max,” You guided, breathing along with her as she kept her eyes on you and followed your directions.

In and out. Breathe. In and out. Breathe.

The cold condensation from the glass cup dripped on top of your hands where Steve was holding the glass above. Max instantly reached for the cup, gradually gulping down the ice cold water every so often as she continued the breathing routines.

Steve remained standing in front of you two, ready to spring into action if Max needed to be rushed to the hospital or anything like that, but thankfully she began to calm down, handing the cup back to Steve once she had finished it.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered shaking her head, annoyed at herself for not having any control over her emotions that she had to act out like that, “I didn’t mean to freak out like that.”

You and Steve both shook your heads, him moving to take his place back on the couch beside her, “Don’t apologize, Max…sometimes it happens. Nothing wrong with that.”

You nodded in agreement, slinging one of your arms across her shoulder while the other rested on her knee, “We’re here for you, alright? You have nothing to be sorry for.”

Max didn’t know how to react. She wasn’t used to this level of sympathy, or at least not since she was a younger child. Nowadays, her mother didn’t have much time to comfort her like she used to. Instead, she settled for simple phrases like, “It’s just in your head Maxine,” or “You’re just having one of those days, it’ll get better.”

A part of her, missed the comforting talks and hugs that she and her mom used to share, but she knew that it was a part of growing up and getting older.

She wasn’t expecting to be coddled all her life, but it was nice having you and Steve around to make her feel assured. To know that you both were actually here for her and trying your best to understand where she was coming from and all of her feelings rather than brushing it off.

“Thanks for being here.” Max spoke gratefully, reaching either of her hands out around both of your shoulders and pulling you in for a squeeze.

Steve let out a small puff of relieved air from his mouth along with a, “Yep,” while you leaned in and hugged her closer, kissing her temple before pulling away.

“Why don’t we go to the arcade?” Steve suggested, knowing that it would be a good opportunity to get some of the heavier things off of Max’s mind especially after the eventful morning you all had.

You nodded, nudging the young girl slightly. “I’m sure El would like to hang out, right?”

She sniffled, nodding her head as she sat back against the cushions and your arm, “Yeah, she did tell me she misses me a lot…I miss her too.”

The three of you spent a few more minutes on the couch, just sitting and talking about what games she wanted to play at the arcade after not being there for a couple of days. After Max finally settled completely, she called El and invited her to the arcade, even Will, but he was busy working on a new painting but offered to come next time around.

The car was now filled with music as the four of you drove to the arcade. Steve seemed to sneak more glances at the backseat through the rear-view mirror. A smile on his face as he saw Max loosening up with the presence of her best friend while they softly sung to the radio and talked amongst themselves.

Once you finally arrived at the arcade, Max seemed to feel a lot better already, laughing and screeching excitedly as she and El played their favorite games while you and Steve stood off to the side in order to give them some space.

“Max looks like she’s having fun.” You nudged Steve playfully, watching the way his face lit up, knowing his idea was so far working.

He grinned sneaking his arms around your waist to pull you closer.

“She deserves to have some fun. She’s been through a lot today…and god knows for how long.” he sighed sadly, resting his head on top of yours.

You understood how Steve felt—if only you two had known what was going on with Max sooner, maybe then you’d both would be able to help her earlier. Yet you knew there was no use in regretting the past but just hopeful for what was to come.

“C’mon, I think I want that pink unicorn.” You dragged him towards the claw machine on the other side of the arcade, still in view of the girls to keep an eye on them.

Max and El continued to compete the high score on Pac-Mac while you and Steve took turns at the claw machine trying to win the fluffy bright pink plush you wanted. After a many tries, Steve was successful, happily presenting you with it and you thanked him with a kiss.

“I think we have a winner!” Steve whistled, strolling behind Max and El with two other plushes in his hand that he had won after a few more attempts.

They turned around, smiling as they each reached for one. El picked the baby elephant and Max got the koala bear. Each of them satisfied with their gifts as they laughed and thanked Steve with smiles.

“We gotta get you girls home.” He announced, looking at his watch for the time, followed by some whines that were quickly eased away by you.

“In a few days we can give you two a ride here again, alright? Steve has work tomorrow and y’know how he is about his sleep.” You smirked, squeezing Steve’s cheeks as he groaned but leaned back into you.

“Oh, we know! Remember that time you fell asleep, and we drew a mustache on you?” El piqued enthusiastically, causing you and Max to laugh out loud.

Steve glared, reminiscing of how he volunteered to host movie night at his place for the kids only for them to grab the markers and begin doodling all over his face. He only realized it the next morning when you popped in with breakfast and couldn’t stop laughing when he greeted you at the door.

“Yeah, yeah, c’mon you twerps.”

El was the first one to get dropped off, already wistful about having to leave her best friend, yet excited for the upcoming plans to come. As you and Steve drove back to the trailer park, Max sat quietly in the backseat, fiddling with her stuffed animal and lost in her thoughts.

Today felt like one of the most relaxing days she had in a long time, despite how the morning had started off. It was nice being able to be consoled and not having to feel like her feelings were such a bad thing. She wanted this feeling to last, but she knew today would eventually come to an end.

When Steve finally pulled up in front of her trailer, her mom’s car was already parked in the grassy space, indicating she was home from a long day of work.

He turned around to face her, watching her unbuckle her seatbelt, “We had a great time, Max.”

Max gave him a smile in return, wiggling the plush he had won her today, “Thanks for taking me…it means a lot.” she said quietly.

“Of course, sweetheart,” you said kindly, maneuvering in your chair to face her as well, “We’re always here for you.”

For her. Always there for her. You two.

The words itself were like a warm embrace to Max’s cold soul that filled her with comfort and security. Just like the hug that you three shared earlier in the day in the doctor’s office parking lot. You two had no idea how much that hug meant to her. How nice and safe it was to feel like she was protected, to feel like she was heard and listened to instead of interrogated and shunned.

Max nodded, her eyes filling with tears. “I know,” she said, her voice breaking. “And I appreciate it so much. Especially with everything that’s been going on lately.”

You and Steve exchanged another set of concerned looks that was familiar from this morning, but you two knew you wanted to do everything you could to support Max through what she was going through.

“Max, we’re here for you no matter what,” Steve said firmly. “You can call us anytime if you need to talk or help with anything, alright?”

Max nodded, sniffling as she wiped her tears away, pushing a smile onto her face, “Thank you,” she said softly. “And thank you for taking me to my appointment. It means a lot.”

Steve smiled reassuringly. “Of course, Max. We’re happy to help.”

As she gathered the rest of her belonging, ready to exit the car and call it a day, she turned back to you and Steve, “Can we do this again soon?” she asked hopefully, her voice filled with need. “I had a lot of fun today.”

You and Steve grinned, nodding your heads as Steve reached out to ruffle her hair, making her laugh freely.

“Absolutely, I’ll give you a call tomorrow and let you know when Steve is off next.” You told her, and she beamed with excitement as she got of the car.

“Thanks…I’ll see you guys soon!” she said, closing the door behind her as she got out.

She waited there to watch you both drive off, waving goodbye as you and Steve watched her in the rearview until she was out of sight into the afternoon sunset.

The car ride was quiet, the both of you not wanting to spark up the conversation around Max’s mental health. You two would never truly be able to understand what she was going through, but there seemed to be a silent agreement that the both of you were going to be there for Max every step of the way.

It wasn’t the fact that Steve didn’t like working at Family Video—He got to work with one of his best friends, Robin. He got first dibs on new tapes for date night. He didn’t have to do much beside stock shelves, count inventory, and work the register.

But the pay wasn’t much, and the days were slow…sometimes too slow, like today.

Barely any new customers came in to rent some tapes and the old ones had yet to return their way over due tapes, something Robin would take care of with a phone call. He just needed to stick around for a few more weeks until he’d hopefully get promoted now that Keith was leaving his position as manager and he would get a little more money.

The money, of course, was going to a good cause: getting to move in with you and helping you with rent.

Though you never asked Steve or made him promise to help you with rent once you got your own apartment after graduation, but he just wanted to be considerate. He knew it wasn’t easy being a college student and adding on working a part-time job, so he wanted to do all he could to help you out if he was going to move in with you.

“Harrington!” Steve exhaled thickly, the chime of the front doors ringing followed by the voices of the teenage boys who loved badgering him on the job.

He turned around, being greeted by Dustin, Will, Lucas, and Mike, “Hey shitheads.” He joked, followed by a snort that came from Robin in the aisle over.

Mike and Will ignored the repartee, heading off into the horror section to see what new tapes were available, while the other two boys followed Steve as he headed towards the front desk to check off some of the inventory lists.

“You took Max and El to the arcade yesterday?” Dustin queried, watching Steve nod as he worked the pen.

He glanced up at the boy and shrugged, “They wanted to spend some girl time together…are you jealous you weren’t invited?”

Dustin rolled his eyes, shaking his head, “Never, it’s just that Eddie said he saw you and your girlfriend pick up Max early in the morning.”

Eddie Munson lived right across from Max’s trailer with his uncle Wayne. The two were never particularly close, but after Dustin started hanging around the dude and joined his DnD club, it was kinda inevitable that they’d become somewhat friends through the kid.

“Yeah,” Steve bowed his head, placing down the clipboard and resting his elbow on the desk, “We had to take Max to take care of a few things…have you spoken to her recently?”

He looked towards Lucas, her boyfriend, hoping to hear that Max was doing better, but instead, the young boy seemed to tense up at the question, shuffling from foot to foot.

“W-we actually broke up a few weeks ago and I haven’t heard from or seen her since. I think she’s avoiding me.” Lucas confessed quietly as Steve’s eyes widened at the announcement.

Dustin elbowed Lucas pointedly. “Dude, you didn’t tell him!?”

For a while, everyone knew about Max and Lucas’ split. Everyone except for you and Steve who were too busy to be probing into the lives of the kids they occasionally babysat. But in hindsight, it seemed to all make sense. Steve hadn’t seen the whole group of kids together at once for a while—Max was always missing. And Max seemed to only hang out with two other people El and sometimes Will.

Lucas sighed, shaking his head, “No! It’s embarrassing alright…I don’t even know what I did wrong. She just kinda dropped the bomb on me out of nowhere. I-I tried calling, but she never picks up.”

Steve’s heart sank, the words coming from Lucas reminding him of how El had phoned him the other day to tell him how concerned she was that Max wasn’t returning any of her calls for a while.

He knew that it might have something to do with what was going on with her emotional and mental wellbeing, but the breakup wasn’t the main thing. Max was strong and independent even before she and Lucas began dating. Steve knew that Max didn’t need a boyfriend to survive, but he had a feeling that maybe just maybe her emotions had pushed her to break it off with Lucas so suddenly and that was concerning enough for him to excuse himself into the break room to use the phone in there for more privacy.

The phone rung a few times before you finally picked up, “Hey, baby,” Steve said breathlessly when you answered.

“Stevie! How’s work?” You requested, closing the textbook you were studying and giving your boyfriend your undivided attention for a few minutes.

“Slow as per usual. The boys actually dropped in.” He told you, and you hummed, guessing they were probably causing some trouble that Steve needed to get away from.

“Yeah? Have they been poking fun at your vest?”

He chuckled, looking down at the pin you got made that said, “Best Salesmen” followed by his name, “No, no, actually it’s about Max.”

You furrowed your brows, sitting up in your desk chair as you listened more for the information that Steve was hurling at you.

“I asked Lucas how Max was doing, but he said that she broke it off with him a few weeks ago and he hasn’t been returning any of her calls. Completely out of nowhere.”

“Shit,” you moaned, rubbing your temples as he let out an agreement on the other side of the line.

“Right. And…I don’t know. I know she doesn’t need Lucas, per se. I mean she’s smart, and witty, and cool, but—but, maybe, do you think it has anything to do with what the doctor said?” He proposed, thinking back to the conversation in the doctor’s office.

You thought to yourself, nodding your head and responding, “Possibly, I mean, the doctor did say that isolation is a big thing that she could be doing to avoid talking about her feelings. M-maybe she broke up with Lucas because she felt bad about her feelings and didn’t want him to worry?”

“Yeah, yeah, that could be it,” He rubbed his chin, checking the time on his watch hoping that his lunch break was soon so he could stop by Max’s trailer to see if she was ok and was coping with the breakup alright.

But still, his break wasn’t until another hour, and the worry was eating him up alive, “Do—”

“I can go and pick up some of her favorite things and go check up on her?” You offered before he could ask, and a sigh of comfort left his mouth.

“Please…and let me know how she’s doing?” He asked almost desperately, as he heard you putting your highlighters and pens away.

“Of course, baby, I’ll call you when I get back.” You told him, gathering your keys that were a short distance from the phone before getting ready to hang up.

“Sounds good…OH! And maybe you could get her the Hershey’s bars with the almonds inside? I know she likes those.”

He remembered the movie night a few months ago, the same one where they all drew on his face. Max had gone straight for the candy bar, monopolizing it to herself and only giving pieces of it to El and a few to Steve, since he was the one who bought it.

You laughed, making a mental note and adding it to the list of things you were already planning to get Max in order to cheer her up, “Got it, babe! I’ll head out now. I love you.”

“I love you, too.” He replied, hearing you smack your lips giving him a telephone kiss as he chuckled and did the same before hanging up first and getting back to work. He had hope that the more he worked the more time would pass and he would hear back from you with good news.

The grocery store had all you needed for the pick-me-ups that Max would surely like. The chocolate almond bar that Steve told you to get, a few more bags of candy, some tissues, and a small bouquet of flowers for the extra touch.

You stood there in front of the trailer, tapping gingerly and calling out her name a few times before you could hear the footsteps from inside coming closer until the doorknob twisted and there was Max dressed in an oversized t-shirt with her hair in a messy bun. Your smile faltered slightly when you remembered why you were here in the first place.

“Hey,” she greeted, opening the door wider when she saw it was you. Furrowing her brows with the items in your hand, you smiled apologetically, handing her the flowers first.

“Hey Max. I brought some stuff to cheer you up,” you said watching her take the florals and look at you confused, “I’m so sorry if this is awkward, but Lucas told Steve about the breakup and he told me, and we just wanted to make sure you’re okay.”

Max’s expression softened, stepping aside to let you in, “It’s okay, you don’t have to apologize…this is actually really sweet.”

You smiled weakly, walking into her trailer and feeling relieved that she wasn’t upset. “No, yeah, we just wanted to make sure you’re doing alright since we had no idea about it.”

The two of you sat down on the couch, and you watched as she grinned when you gave her the rest of the treats. The chocolate bar being immediately ripped open as she broke off a piece and offered it to you first, which you accepted before she began indulging in it.

You chewed on the sweet treat, swallowed before you spoke, “So, uh, Steve and I were just wonder…did Lucas do something to hurt you? Or is it just that you’re not interested anymore?”

Max felt the knot in her stomach, sighing as this would be the first time she was explaining it to anyone. Even when Lucas asked why and even El, she simply brushed them off and told them it was normal or nothing.

“It’s not that. I still love and care about Lucas, but I just…just don’t think that a relationship is good for me right now. I’m not in the right mindset, y’know?”

You nodded, understanding where she was coming from and it all washed over you, “Yeah, I totally get it. And I’m sorry again if we were prying or anything. Just want you to know me and Steve are here for you, through anything and everything.”

The young girl smiled, feeling grateful for the kindness and time you took out of your day to come in and check on her when you could’ve simply picked up the phone and called. The effort mattered, and she was appreciative of that.

“Hey…and if Lucas loves you, he’ll understand and be patient,” you added, smiling softly and resting a hand on her knee, “take all the time you need, and when you’re ready, you two can work things out.”

She didn’t bother speaking a word to you. Her smile and arms that she wrapped around you were enough for her to express that she was thankful for everything you and Steve had done in the past three days.

“Do you think I could spend the night at yours? Girls’ night with me and El, if you’re not busy or working tomorrow?” She sought, pulling away from you as you smiled and nodded.

It was a Friday and thankfully you didn’t have much work to get done for school and you didn’t pick up a shift at the general store until next week so you were practically free, “Sure, but just in case can you call your mom and make sure it’s alright with her?”

She nodded, getting up for the phone before she turned to you, “There’s some lemonade in the fridge that I made this morning. Eddie’s uncle gave us a whole bag last night…apparently some guy at his plant has a huge lemon tree.”

You snorted, nodding your head as you got up, heading for the kitchen and pouring yourself a refreshingly sour glass of lemonade while Max called her mom’s working place to get through and ask if it was alright to spend the night at yours.

Once she got the green light from her mom and calling El to invite her, she headed for her room, packing some of her things that she would need while she was at yours, along with some cassettes that she wanted to show to you and El. You washed up your glass, tidying up a bit before you used the phone to call Steve and let him know that everything was ok and that Max and El would be staying with you for the night.

She shut her bedroom door, walking out with her duffle bag slung over her shoulder, “I’m ready,” she announced to you as you smiled, still holding the phone to your ear.

Steve was concerned about Max and asked if he could speak to her over the phone to check up on her, “It’s Steve. He wants to talk to you if that’s ok?” You asked her, and she agreed, dropping her bag down on the sofa and accepting the phone you held out for her.

You could hear Steve talking her ear off the moment he knew that she was now on the phone with him. Max kept humming out “mhm’s” and “yes’s” nodding her head along with whatever Steve was telling her.

“You made a really brave and good decision, Max.” Steve spoke, his voice soothing, “Putting yourself isn’t a bad thing and if anything I’m so proud of you for doing it. If Lucas can’t see what an amazing girl you are it’s his loss at the end of the day. Take some time for yourself and when you’re ready, maybe you both will find your way back together.”

God, he felt like such a dad right now, but he said all the right words, the ones that Max needed to hear.

Her cheeks rose with a smile on her face as she thanked him, grateful for his support.

“Thanks, Steve. It’s just hard, you know? I still care about Lucas so much, but I just don’t feel like I can be in a relationship right now.”

“I get it,” Steve responded. “But I want you to know that you’re smart and don’t need a boyfriend behind you. You’re good enough on your own right now, and when you’re ready, you’ll find someone who deserves you.”

Max felt a sense of comfort wash over her. Sure maybe all the teens, including herself would make fun of Steve of being such a dad with all his lecture and advice, but he had this special knack for knowing how making people feel better, even in the toughest times and today it was no different with her situation.

“T-thanks, Steve. That means a lot,” Max’s voice cracked, feeling her eyes start to well up with tears out of nowhere.

You moved beside her, hoisting an arm around her shoulder, and you pulled her into a side hug, and brushed the tears off her cheeks with your thumbs. You knew she was massively touched by everything you and Steve were doing for her, and it was heartwarming to see her so vulnerable when it came to you two.

“Hey, don’t cry,” you could hear Steve say through the speaker, his voice gentle. “I know this is tough, but we’re here for you. Whatever you need, we’ll be here to support you.”

“Thanks, Steve,” Max spoke, smiling up at you as you continued to brush away her tears. “I really appreciate it. I just hope that one day, Lucas and I can patch things up.”

“I’m sure you will, Max,” Steve said, his voice reassuring. “But for now, just focus on taking care of yourself. That’s the most important thing, alright?”

She assured Steve and thanked him once more before he let her go. Yelling out an “I love you” for you before Max placed the phone back down on the receiver. She locked up the place, petting the stray cats outside the porch before she got into your car and you two drove off to pick up El.

Once the three of you were in the car, the party was already started. Madonna blasting through your radio with the windows down as you all shouted out the lyrics and danced in your seats. You decided to stop at the store to pick up a few more things to make it a bit more special. Wandering the aisles, you picked out face masks, microwavable popcorn, and all the other things that would make a sleepover fun.

When you finally arrived at your apartment, the girls couldn’t wait to make themselves at home, springing up the steps until they got to your floor, already hearing you doggie, Ollie, barking from inside.

You smiled, unlocking the door and letting them in first, watching as they dropped their bags and went straight for your pup. Cuddling him in their arms and giggling at his playful antics while you began unloading the bags from the store on the coffee table in the living room.

“Okay, tonight we’re going to have fun, but there’s just one rule!” You announced, dusting your hands off as you plopped onto the couch, watching the girls tilt their head up towards you and nod.

“No boy talk! None at all! Nothing about current boyfriends, ex-boyfriends…I don’t want to hear about your romantic lives and I’m sure you don’t want to hear about mine—no boy talk! Capiche?”

The girls snickered, nodding their heads, as they got up from the floor and decided to join you on the couch, reaching for a bag of chips and opening it to share with each other.

“So, how is college? Is it harder than high school?” Max sought before stuffing her mouth full of the crunch chips.

You breathed, nodding your head wistfully as their faces dropped.

“It’s definitely more rigorous, but it helps to have a routine. I’m getting used to it.”

El sat up, nodding her head in agreement, “Jonathan says that college is tough…he gets sad when Nancy is busy and doesn’t call because of study or exams.”

Jonathan, her half-brother through Joyce, had decided to stay in Hawkins, pursing his career of photography in town by booking some weddings and birthday parties. Nancy headed off for college the same year you did, but she went out of state at a university while you stayed back and decided to attend a community college to save some money first.

“Yeah, but it’s all worth it in the end,” you assured her, patting her shoulder as she went on, with wide eyes.

“I’m so nervous about college,” she pressed her hands on her cheeks as you and Max giggled, “what if I don’t get in?!”

You knew how she felt and it wasn’t too long ago when you were a senior feeling totally lost in the mix of applying for colleges and hoping for an acceptance letter.

“Don’t worry, you have plenty of time to figure it out,” You criss-crossed your legs together and looked between the two girls, “You two are gonna be sophomores in a few weeks and maybe then you’ll figure out what you wanna pursue and that will be something to check off your list.”

They looked a bit more relived yet nervous, realizing that they were in fact entering sophomore in a matter of days. The summer had flown by quickly and a new school year was about to be in session. Freshman year wasn’t too bad considering the fact that the group stayed together, but as time goes on, they knew that new friends would sprout and growing apart was normal.

“Hey…and when your senior year comes, I’ll be there to help you both with college applications and I’ll even read over your essays and make sure they’re ready to go.” You assured them, making them smile broader, no longer fearful about the future, but more so glad that they’d have you to go to for any college advice.

“We’ve got this,” Max smirked, high-fiving her best friend before Ollie had joined in on the excitement, barking cheerfully and running around in circles, making all three of you giggle at his cuteness.

As the day slowly dwindled into night, the three of you had changed into more comfortable clothing: big t-shirts and sweatpants. The couch was now situated with fluffed up pillows and even softer blankets. Your faces now glazed in the clay face masks with a movie playing on the TV and a big bowl of the popcorn being passed around the three of you.

Only the knock on the door made you three tear your eyes away from the TV. Ollie immediately running towards the front door, sniffing then barking. You got up, and Max paused the movie, as the two sat up, watching you open the wooden door first, revealing Steve on the other side of the outer screen door.

“Did someone order half pepperoni and cheese and half pineapple for a girls’ night?” Steve tries his best to deepen his voice as if his own girlfriend and the girls wouldn’t recognize him.

You rolled your eyes, stifling a laugh as you opened the door, to greet him, “You’re such a dork!” you say, giving him a kiss as he chuckles against you making sure his lips don’t touch the mask on your face.

He enters the apartment with the pizza box balanced on his palm, shooting a smile to the girls and Ollie who races in circles around Steve’s feet—the usual Ollie greeting.

The girls get up. El taking the pizza box from him and setting it down on the coffee table while Max picks up the small container of the clay face mask. He looks at them, puzzled, as El begins to speak, “You can stay, but you have to follow the rules!”

You’re highly entertained, listening to their conversation as you locked up the door and headed for the kitchen to grab some plate and napkins.

He huffs, crossing his arms over his chest, “Lay it on me.”

“No boy talk!” El declares firmly with a pointed finger, and he nods. Steve can totally do that.

Max steps closer. “Annnnd you have to put on the face mask,” she says with a mischievous grin.

Despite his protests and even begging for you to back him up, he eventually agrees, letting Max dip her fingers into the goopy product and smear it across his face. El grabbed the extra scrunchie on her wrist, tying back Steve’s hair into a wonky ponytail when he complained about it getting in his hair.

You couldn’t help yourself, jogging into your bedroom to snatch your polaroid off your desk in order to snap a picture of the scene in the living room. Steve sat on the couch with his face scrunched up, while Max laughed and swatted his hands away when he tried to stop her from putting more on. And El in the background giving a thumbs up with a massive smile on her face. The photo was definitely going to be one of your most prized possessions now.

Soon enough, Max’s hands were now free of the clay and all four of you had some pizza while you continued on with the movie before talking to each other about life. Steve was about to say something about Eddie entering the dating scene, but before he could finish, the three of you were shouting and groaning, “No talking about boys!”

Steve laughed, shutting his mouth as he apologized and you all laughed, “Sorry! Sorry. I forgot the rule!”

You smiled, shaking your head as you cuddled into his side, rubbing his arm up and down comfortingly, “We just want a night without talking about guys…I mean it’s pretty stereotypical, but sometimes it’s exhausting talking about boy…no offence, baby.”

Steve chuckled, nodding his head in agreement with your statement, “None taken, doll. And you’re right, boys aren’t the end-all, be-all, of life. All three of you can make it on your own without any man,” he looked down at pouting, “but like, totally, don’t break up with me because I just said that.”

Max groaned, garnering the attention of you both as you looked at her, “This is the only time, I’m breaking the rule,” she pointed at you two as you both nodded, “You and Steve do make a pretty good couple—caring, funny, and surprisingly reliable.”

El piped in, “Don’t forget cute!”

“Oh, and cute!” Max added, as she and El high-fived each other and you and Steve snorted at their amusement.

Steve wrapped his arms around you, holding you close, “Thanks, and now I can say that me and my girl are the cutest couple in Hawkins! You heard it here first!” He announced, making you laugh while the other girls sighed, shaking their heads.

“Oh god, we shouldn’t have said that!”

Soon all your faces are now cleansed and refreshed and the night is slowly simmering down with yawns and sleepy eyes filling the living room. You tidy up the kitchen, washing the dirty plates and cups, as Steve helps you out while the girls get homey in the living room, getting ready for bed.

“Thanks for letting them spend the night here.” Steve murmured from behind you, kissing your neck as you hum and close your eyes, letting him stay them for a moment before you turn your head and kiss his lips.

When you pull away, the two of you are still smiling, before you pat his chest, “C’mon lover boy, you need your sleep remember?”

He nods with a grin, taking your hand and kissing it before the two of you are walking back into the living room, standing in front of the couch where the girls are fluffing up their pillows.

“I’m heading out now, I’ve got a shift in the morning,” He told them as they nodded, getting up and each going in for a hug.

You smiled at the scene, heart-warming up as he wrapped his arms around them and pulled them a little closer, savoring this moment that was so simple yet meaningful to him. And especially for Max who held on a little longer, quietly whispering a “thank you,” before she pulled away and got comfy on the couch.

“Goodnight, Steve.” The girls yawned out tiredly, as they pulled their blankets up over their bodies.

Steve grinned, looking at how comfortable they were already, “Night bugs.”

He opened the front door, bending down to pet Ollie goodnight, before he was off running towards the couch and settling between the two girls comfortably. You wrapped your arms around him, inhaling his scent before you rested your chin on his chest, looking up at him as he looked down on you, pressing your lips together again.

“I love you, drive safe ok?” You told him and he nodded, kissing your forehead, then one more time on your lips before you had to unwrap your arms.

“I will, and I love you too…I’ll call in the morning before my shift.”

You nodded, smiling as he parted ways with you, walking down the steps of your apartment building and into the parking lot below where he waved at you before he drove off into the night.

Closing the door and triple checking that you had locked it, you made your way over to the girls, already beginning to doze off slightly as they forced themselves to stay awake to say goodnight to you.

“I’m gonna let you two have the couch with Ollie tonight, but I’ll just be in my bedroom and I’ll keep my door open if anything, alright?” You told them softly, and they nodded their heads, with dopey smiles on their faces.

“Kay, goodnight,” they singsonged as their eyes fell and you quietly giggled, bending down to press a warm kiss to the tops of their heads.

“Goodnight, sweethearts…night Ollie.”

As Max laid there listening to the slight snores already coming from El, she couldn’t help but think about how uncomfortable she felt a few days ago in the doctor’s office. The bright fluorescent lighting and the cold, sterile environment made her feel uneasy and anxious. She was on edge about everything the doctor was saying and how it all erupted before her eyes.

But now, as she lay on the couch in your living room, with the soft glow of the moon seeping through the curtains and her eyelids, she felt safe and at peace. The warmth of the blankets and the gentle hum of the air conditioning made her feel calm and relaxed. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, letting the tension in her body melt away.

As she drifted off to sleep, she couldn’t help but feel hopeful about the future. She knew that there would be challenges and obstacles to overcome, but she also knew that she had the support of her friends and especially you and Steve. With a smile on her face, she whispered a quiet “thank you,” grateful for this moment of peace and comfort.

a/n: i hope you guys liked chapter one of this series!!! i know it is angsty and there is a lot of talk about mental and emotional health, but i really feel like it's something worth talking about. opening up is never easy and i hope this story depicts the high and lows of what that's like from max's eyes, but also the blossoming relationship that max and steve (and reader) will start to form as time goes on. a big big thank you to @translatemunson for always listening to my ideas and giving me some to incorporate as well!! i love you, effie <3 going to start working on chapter two soon!!! in the meantime, let me know what you think: reblogs, tags, comments, and likes are greatly appreciated!!!

taglist (if you would like to be added just leave a comment!): @translatemunson @kennedy-brooke @manda-panda-monium @tvserie-s-world @wanderlustaflame @fruitbutt @thegaysaretired

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