lmfaooo this ep had me sooo dead 😭
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I want to look down and see this
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used to
used to guilt and shame
like needles in my veins
am I doomed to be mediocre at everything?
everyone thinks that I'm doing too much
but not trying hard enough
no one knows how hard
I chase the dopamine rush
everyone feeds me the same motifs
enough is enough
I can’t be strong like I used to
can’t not be wrong like I used to
I can’t work like I used to
hell, am I even useful?
if I’m not what I used to be,
will I then lose everything?
do I know the girl I used to be?
who is this new girl that I see?
you call her by my name
but we aren’t the same
cause she’s not what she used to be
she’s worse than geometry
why can’t I just live
up to what everyone thinks of me
just lock me away
leave me with my artistry
the only thing that improved
but you’d only find choreography
I’m the one who makes the days the same
though not how they used to be
so much on my back already
but what else do you want from me?
I’ll take the blame
shackles and chains
though I really need to be free
because that’s who I used to be
so please, please don’t give up on me
I can’t live as who I used to be
but I’m still trying though crying
still going and growing
I’m not sure if I’ll make it anymore
not sure if I can take this anymore
but if I can’t, what am I even here for?
just leave me with my tears
just shut the door
I’ll sit here with my fears and my heart still sore
I’ll look back on these years
when I am hurt and bored
and when no one seems to need me
not like they did before
do you even need who I used to be anymore?
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