#ya boy has been officially quarantined

[cogs-inc]

jumbaa and pleakley are enemies to lovers

#loud honking #ya boy has been officially quarantined #so i've been watching early 2000s disney movies #i watched uhhhh treasure planet and atlantis and just finished brother bear #HEY ACTUALLY IF ANYONE WANTS TO SEND ME MOVIE SUGGESTIONS TO KEEP ME OCCUPIED #a coworker is being tested so im being kept Away from my family for a bit #and i need shit to watch

[howdoyousleep3]

the panty fic made me like...long to read more of you writing aftercare. like what if bucky drops so deep and he’s so so soft he’s like nonverbal and steve was particularly dommy that time but then he’s all just taking care of him? i want it...

I don’t write aftercare enough, you are right. I think I realized that when I was actually writing “kiss it when he eat it”, that I just end fics after orgasms are had and how I definitely shouldn’t do that. Readers need aftercare almost as much as the characters do. 😭 I’m going to try and not let this get away from me so...

If Bucky is going nonverbal this is an intense night for them. I rarely write Steve going full Dom on Bucky, even being meaner to him (which I realize I should...) but this would need to be very different than their regular. I wrote about him going nonverbal when I did that Ask about how they cope in quarantine and shibari and I wrote Bucky floating hard when they had sex after making things official in my first story but it’s pretty hit and miss.

There are three things I think would make Bucky drop and float hard and those are heavy praise, overstimulation, and breathplay. 

O O F

Get them all together in one night, one fuck, and baby won’t come back until the morning. 

They’ve learned this as they’ve learned about each other and them as one. They’ve known Bucky’s love for praise since their first date, knew it the first time they talked in the bar for Christ’s sake; it’s Steve’s most powerful weapon. They came across overstimulation slowly, easing into it after they learned that Bucky can come untouched and that he can come more than once in one setting, so sensitive. Breathplay...that was different. That is something they stumbled upon, Daddy’s hand coming up and around Bucky’s neck, grip tight but nothing restricting, but Bucky made that breathy little whine nonetheless.

“...color?” Steve had rasped, looking down at Bucky underneath him with wild eyes. It took a few seconds, a tap on the cheek or two with Steve’s other hand, but Bucky drooled just like his dick did, slurred a low and slow, “Green, Daddy.” 

As they’ve learned and communicated they’ve uncovered what to do when Bucky floats in such a way, what is okay to transpire when Bucky floats and leaves Daddy on a little cloud rapidly. Steve is okay and encouraged to keep using Bucky, to keep sending him further and further into this sparkly sweet place. They have figured out how baby likes to come back, what to do after, what Bucky needs. 

Steve sends Bucky under hard one night, reels himself in from going into Topspace and everything once he sees Bucky’s eyes glaze over unusually early on. He’s been teasing his boy all day: a hand between Bucky’s legs as they spoon in the morning that pulls away at the last moment, tender kisses in heated mini makeout sessions that are scattered throughout the day, hot kisses on the back of Bucky’s neck as they’re out shopping that day and as Daddy stands behind him, tucked in tight. 

So, when Daddy’s voice drips hot with praise that evening as they crawl into bed, his big Daddy hand going tight around the column of Bucky’s throat, they both know how this is going to end up. Steve does what he can to keep Bucky with him but turns out those small slaps across his cheek or on the inside of his thighs help accelerate him drifting away. 

We know, even though I haven’t written it much, that Daddy Steve is a King when it comes to aftercare. His Sugar is his number one priority in his life, especially during and after Bucky responds to Steve in such a euphoric way. He would never let Bucky down.

Bucky floats and goes to that sweet sugar-spun place after Daddy stuffs him full of cock on his back, legs together and pressed to Steve’s chest, hand tight around Bucky’s neck. It’s like it’s the only Daddy wanted in the world, hips powerful, grip devastating, voice raw--

“Do it, do it, Bucky come on, baby go there. Go be as sweet as you can be, lemme see it, I gotchu. Know Daddy’ll take care’a you and love you and keep usin’ your sweet little body just how you like. Come on, babylove give it to me.” 

With express permission he does. He comes under Daddy’s touch, trembles around his cock, floats away with a grin on his face. He can still hear Daddy, hear that he’s making Daddy feel good, that’s he’s a perfect boy. He barely registers other movements, rolls and spreads, but Daddy’s voice is in his ear the entire time in the most comforting of ways.

Bucky even comes again, Steve’s thumb rubbing along the underside of his sensitive cockhead. He comes and...and goes quiet. When Steve asks him questions Bucky doesn’t respond. With Steve’s front to Bucky’s back it makes it hard to see the younger but when Steve gets a view of his boy’s face and the sight of him covered in his own come, he comes. 

Steve is someone who can stay hard for a while after he comes, dick not entirely sure if it’s done being used after one round. When Bucky is like this Steve is in no way quick to pull out. He’s chosen such position so he can hold Bucky close and in his arms without breaking that connection. Head nestled against a meaty bicep and an equally muscle-packed pec, Daddy’s lips right at his ear, his free hand stroking up and down Bucky’s body.

Both men are in heaven. 

These are the moments where Steve gets the most emotional, where his love for Bucky becomes overwhelming, where he lets his voice get a bit watery as he talks to Bucky. 

“Just the sweetest boy aren’t ya, Buck? Look at what you let Daddy see, what you let Daddy do, what you share with him. Just an angel on Earth, baby, and you chose me to be your Daddy, a goddamn miracle. You stay there, sugar; you stay there as long as you need. I’ll keep you safe, honey.” 

Bucky can go a long time without coming back to Steve, especially considering how safe and loved he feels. They’ll lay there in bed for quite a bit of time, Steve just watching Bucky, hands in his hair, kisses on his cheeks. He’ll listen to Bucky’s breathing, the small content noises he’ll let out from time to time. 

Eventually, he’ll carry Bucky to the bathroom, not even comfortable leaving Bucky on the bed alone for a quick ten seconds, would grab and wet a washcloth and carry them back. He’d lay Bucky out like he was a fragile little treasure, would wipe him down and make him clean enough for the time being, would make sweet noises as he did so. 

It would be just a lot of Steve holding Bucky close, skin on skin, sweet words pressed right into his ear. They’ve learned that Bucky can kind of panic if he comes to and there’s only silence so Steve turns the television on for low background noise. 

Steve knows Bucky is coming to when his hands come to life. His fingers will twitch and he’ll subconsciously reach for Steve, followed by a curious noise. Daddy doesn’t talk to him quite yet, reassures him more physically by running his hand through Bucky’s hair and kissing his temple. 

Steve is weak as fuck for Bucky rubbing his face into Steve’s chest like a cat when he reaches another level of normalcy. 

It has taken Bucky such a long time to not be embarrassed for having dropped so hard but they are past the point of tears or ragged breaths. Bucky tends to let out a purr or a giggle when he’s aware enough to go verbal again, when he comes back to Daddy. Steve is quick to jump on the encouragement, the praise, welcoming Buck back with hushed, “Baby”s and kisses. 

“Hey, sugarbear. There he is.” He won’t ask questions right away, Bucky needing to come back slow and steady. The turn and the press of Bucky’s face into his neck is enough of an answer to unsaid questions. In time he’ll ask how Bucky is feeling, how his body feels and how his mind feels, and they’ll act accordingly. Sometimes more snugs and a few tears are necessary. Sometimes they can hop into a bath. Most of the time sleep is of the upmost priority and they want it as soon as possible.

Steve always makes him drink some water as soon as he can. Food follows the bath/shower (which is purposeful and warm and snuggly) and it’s anything that Steve can feed Bucky with his own fingers: cubes of cheese, pieces of dark chocolate, chunks of chicken, grapes. Bucky is always quiet as a mouse and pleasantly introverted after such a scene and the silence between them is cozy and welcome. 

As they snuggle back into bed Steve always asks Bucky if he liked anything or if he didn’t, a debrief of sorts, so Daddy can know what to do or not do in the future. 

Bucky is clingy and falls into sleep quickly and Steve Rogers is the happiest Daddy that ever Daddied...

#askK

[eddiemunsonssoulmate]

Make love, not war: The anti- OBX drama edition

Okay kids, listen up.

I’m too old for all of this drama and I’ve been on this hellsite for way too long to just keep watching it in silence so this is gonna be my only, long ass post about this mess that has occured/is occuring. I’m trying to get my thoughts out and and maybe talk some sense into the last three braincells some people have left.

These are my thoughts. My opinion. It’s totally fine if you disagree but if you feel strongly offended or called out by this, you might be part of the problem.

I’ve been watching the drama for a while now and normally I’m just someone who’s on the quiet side, grabbing a box of popcorn and watching how y’all tear each other to pieces but seriously? 

Some of you really need to get a life.

Fandom life isn’t always easy, fandom life can be messy, some people are not what they seem, yadda yadda.

But seriously, did you lose all the respect you had when you’ve signed up on this website or social media in general?

First: The Rudy “drama”

Someone, a really sweet and nice to everyone person, stated a theory based on an anon ask who based their ask on a social media website. A theory. A worst case scenario of what might have happened. They wanted to be nice and answer to every anon they’re getting but guys. 

Guys.

It was a theory. A mere idea of what might have happened because someone asked, nothing else. It was not facts, there was no evidence and the ask that caused all of this was not based on facts either. It can totally be fun to speculate about things. You’re allowed to believe what you want. Rudy’s a dick, Rudy’s a sweet angel, Rudy is a blue alien in disguise, everyone is allowed to have an opinion on something but oh my god.

Don’t make facts out of theories. 

Don’t look at three emotes and be like “oh my god they have to be dating!”

Don’t make a drama out of two actors not liking each other’s posts on Instagram like what the heck.

When did Social Media take over your life so much that you interpret everything in those little things? There’s a real life out there, ya know?

We don’t know anything for a fact so let it go. Wait until someone says something official which probably won’t happen.

More importantly, stay out of actors' private lives as much as you can. Seriously. You’re welcome to state your opinion about them, make theories, stuff like that but tbh, it’s better to stay out of it because at the end of your day, it’s none of our business. Celebrity stalking is not and never will be cool. Don’t waste your time and energy of trying to figure something out they clearly don’t want you to see. Best example for this are like, baby news.

I know it can be exciting to figure stuff out. I know you can be totally curious because you like that person and want to find things about their life but don’t blow it out of proportion.

Actors are humans. Actors are not their characters. They have their own private life and if they want to share, that’s cool. If not, then that’s also cool. And tbh, the OBX cast is feeding us a lot more way more than other actors from other shows/movies, god bless them.

But who the fuck do you think you are that you’re sending them, the actors or the people talking about it, hate based on a simple theory on a website that has a life on it’s own and things that happen on here should stay on here? That’s not cool, it’s a shame for other people in the fandom. Why would you want to make a person feel bad because I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t like to feel this way either.

They’re grown ups, they can do what they want. You don’t have to like it but for the love of god:

Have some respect for a human being.

Second: The Chase Thing aka #chasestokespartyisover

That last sentence totally applies here too.

Have respect for a human being.

Boy made a tweet over ten years ago where he said something that was problematic. Was that cool? No. Did he apologize? Yes. Is it time to let it go? Totally. Was his hacking excuse true or not? WE DON’T KNOW.

You know what’s not cool tho? Some people taking their time to scroll down TEN YEARS AND MORE on a timeline to get some tea on them that you can use and complain about.

I know quarantine can get boring but jfc guys. There are more things to life than obsessing over an actor, ya know.

We all said shit in our youth, that’s a fact but people change. They grow. Don’t compare a teenage boy with a grown ass man.

You know what’s also totally 100% not acceptable? People photoshopping fake screenshots to show what a big mean white boi Chase is, trying to fuel the fire of hate. What the fuck is wrong in those minds?

Cancel Culture is a toxic phenomenon that should be the only thing getting canceled. You can’t cancel people, ya know. It’s fucking toxic to say something like that and just...don’t, man. I barely have any words left to describe this stupid thing.

Make love, not war. Spread love, not hate.

Fandom is not a place to rip each other to pieces. Not everything in this world is about race, sex/gender or problematic things. Just because someone doesn’t reblog a lot about Madison it’s mostly not because of racism or because she’s queer. Sure, that’s probably the case for some people but you know, those people aren’t worth it then.

Fandom is not a place that should spread hate around, especially not on anon, sending people asks filled with hate. There’s a bunch of younger kids on here, especially in the OBX fandom from what I’ve seen so far and it’s not okay to tell a 15 year old girl to tell her to go kill herself because she likes Rudy more than JD or shit like that. It’s never okay to something like that but it hits the younger ones even harder. Maybe it’s their first fandom and people ruin that experience on the spot, feeling powerful while on anon.

Fandom should be a place where we come together and have fun. Make friends and share things. Gifset, fanfics, theories about the new season, things like that. It should be a place to freak out over new teasers, new pictures from the set, the cast sharing stuff on their platform of choice and just things we enjoy.

There are different ways to block and blacklist on Tumblr, especially if you’re using it in a browser on your laptop/pc. Use that to block toxic people, tags you don’t wanna see and create your own little bubble where you’re happy in. Do this in case you feel uncomfortable with some people around here, so you only see what makes you happy.

Please remind yourself about the fact that behind all those blogs, there are real people. People who all have their own lives, own opinions, own ideas. Same goes for actors. They’re not there for your personal entertainment, they don’t have to share their complete private life with you. They’re human, just like you and me and it’s unacceptable to send them hate, no matter what they’ve done. You don’t have to like them but keep it to yourself or talk about it with friends, I don’t give a shit but leave it out of their sight.

Please remind yourself that we want to have a good time here and especially during times like these where we spend more time on here than we probably should *laughs*

If you made it to the end, thank you for your attention and taking your time and remember:

Be nice to each other, the world is cruel enough.

-Captain out.

#outer banks #obx #obx netflix #rudy pankow #chase stokes #madison bailey #jonathan daviss #madelyn cline #drew starkey #obx cast #this is just a massive brain dumb with lots of swearing lmao

[qrbie]

The Masterlist

Hey. I know it’s been ages since my last fic rec, but my motivation is slowly building again and I think I’m going to have a big one coming up soon. Meanwhile, I tossed a ton onto @0nceuponafanfic, so she might have something brewing for y’all. Anyways, I’ve been updating this thing, so if you ever need a pile to fall back on when I’m MIA, here you go!

Please tell me if I’m missing something, like a trigger warning or a link to someone’s Tumblr. Also don’t be afraid to rec me your favorite fics or even your own fics! I wanna see them. If you want to request fic recs, I’m open for those too! Even if you don’t have fics or even a specific purpose, come to my inbox and mess around. I’m bored and want human interaction.

‘allo people! yeah yeah yeah It’s been AGES since the last update so I’mma dump some new fics into here soon. I’m also gonna fix up the organization a bit. so sayonara and see ya later!

As always, stay hydrated!

Happy pride, everyone!

Last updated 6/23

1-Chapter bits of fluff or angst or something else

one hell of a hook | A TodoBaku fic... but don’t let that drive you away! This is an amazing fic, so please give it a try before you judge.

Mafia Au | What if Present Mic was a yakuza boss and Aizawa was a spy? (There’s a lot more to this, including a lot more art, over at @nartothelar‘s blog)

UA Music Conservatory | a series of one-shots in an AU where UA is actually a music school.

Silent Shadow | has the potential to evolve into something bigger. Nomu!Midoriya is Kurogiri’s protege. So cool.

Present Mic’s Awesome Mixtape 2.0 | Aizawa doesn’t like any kind of music. Shocking, right? After discovering this, Yamada has a new goal. Find a type of music Aizawa likes.

cultivating something so divine | Vet!Kiribaku, with so much fluff and animals and mutual pining that even the hardest of hearts can be softened.

The story of how Midoriya Izuku won the Sport Festival | I love a good dose of Crack Treated Seriously, and here’s some.

Trash Goblin Finds Love | “Bakugou. This is the gayest thing I’ve ever seen.”

president of the krbk club | Whenever something exciting happens, what does Midoriya do? Whip out his notebooks, of course. So what happens when Bakugou isn’t pushing Kirishima away?

It's Hard to Get Past Some Things | Whenever Midoriya’s drunk, Todoroki’s his designated caretaker. What happens when drunk Midoriya decides to talk about kids (or pups, whatever)? (A/B/O)

it's just the little things | Bakugou’s interactions over the years (stealing from the official summary here)

The Knock-On Effect | There’s only a couple types of knocks that Bakugou likes. Kirishima’s knocks in the middle of the night are one of them.

Smile for me, would you? | Unlike the rest of us, Present Mics has goals, and actually follows through with them. This goal? Make his neighbor, Shouta Aizawa, smile.

Shadowed Soul, Electric Eyes (We'll Be Okay) | What if Tokoyami and Kaminari, people with completely different quirks, got quirk-swapped?

A Matter of Pride | How everyone in BNHA came out. That’s it. It’s so fluffy, though.

firedancer | Unlike the rest of these, this one has the tiniest bit of angst. So little you’d need a microscope, though. Whenever someone falls in love, romantically, platonically, or any other way, a flower appears on their skin. Kirishima has a ton of flowers, but where are Bakugou’s?

A Mile in New Shoes (and A Mile Too Far) | Artist!Bakugou is invited to his first house party... Luckily he has three guys showing him around.

Boy things | Ashido loves her friends, but sometimes it gets lonely being the only girl in the Bakusquad. Good thing they understand!

come home to me | Kiribaku might’ve gotten a telepathic connection... There’s so much fluff in this one!

one to ten | Kirishima wants to date Bakugou, but he’s gotta climb the ladder of friendship first!

Get Mad! | Bakugou teaches Eri how to cope, and Eri returns the favor.

bakugatsu | Yeah, I know this is 20 chapters long, but it’s basically 20 drabbles compiled together by the amazing wonhaebunny!

a mix of six | Probably my favorite series of all time, no matter the fandom. What happens when Aizawa and Hizashi adopt Bakugou, Todoroki, Shinsou and Eri?

KiriBaku Week 2020 | A series by PoorUnfortunateSoul - full of fluff!

Safety In Numbers | A little bit of fluff and a lot of parental Erasermic.

Multi-chapter Stories

How To Get Adopted Without Letting Your Dad Know He's Adopting You, A Guide By Class 1-A | Good old fashioned school fluff. (WIP)

Dandelion | No masterlist is complete without at least one fic from the legendary Broken Realities, right? So here’s @owlf45‘s fic... (there’s a lot more! Check out the Broken Realities Collection on Ao3 for at least some of them... I bet there’s a lot more floating around.) (WIP)

Phosphenes | A Naruto/BNHA crossover, Mina is reborn from Naruto, and learns to navigate life even with such a big burden on her shoulders. (WIP)

Flour Power | Kirishima and Bakugou are supposed to take care of a sack of flour for a school project. What could go wrong?

Not really a villain, but close enough | “Aizawa didn't expect the raid to go so well. he didn't expect the informant to be so useful and well-mannered. who was hi kidding? Aizawa didn't expect the informant to be a kid. but the green-eyed boy cuffed to the interrogation table was wiling to help, and Aizawa wasn't one to look the gift horse in the mouth“ (WIP)

green haze | Vigilante!Midoriya is known as the Green Haze, a vigilante, Eraserhead’s supposed to capture. Shenanigans happen.

2am Knows All Secrets | One of those classic Kiribaku fics that trickle through the ranks. Lots of fluff, with good ol’ tropes like sharing a bed and mutual pining and Good Friends, and-it’s great.

The life of a hero | Such a good series. It’s so amazing. It gives angst and pain but then soothes it over with fluff, but then it tears you apart... and then it gives you life... a great read.

The Last Resort | This is basically pure angst. It’s so painful, but it’s such a good story... Shinsou was sold as a young child to a yakuza. This yakuza would rent out people for their quirks... This is an amazing read, but don’t expect any fluff from this. (Check the tags! WIP)

¥300 Shampoo | When Aizawa’s working on a book at the cafe, he certainly doesn’t expect someone pulling his hair. He definitely doesn’t expect getting a free haircut out of it, either.

quote love unquote | Take the official summary “When Kirishima Eijirou's band hits the big time, he's not prepared for his newfound fame. He's even less prepared to meet the actor he's been crushing on for years, or to start dating him as a publicity stunt. The closer Kirishima gets to Bakugou Katsuki, the more he realizes he's in over his head. But it's hard to stop, once his heart is in it.”

lovin is easy | Blasty doesn’t get “feelings,” so here’s five times Bakugou doesn’t get love and one time he does. (WIP)

The Empath & The Mind Reader | Bakugou is a mind reader, and Kirishima is a empath. If both of them can literally know what the other person’s feeling/thinking, why are they still dancing around each other? (WIP, Contains smut, Anxiety attacks)

and finally I see the world in color (the violet stands out, thanks to you) | This fic deserves a LOT more than just 76 kudos. Sometimes people miss out on amazing fics just because it’s a femslash. Momojirou, where Yaoyaorozu is a businesslady who is bored with her life and everything else, until she happens upon the rambunctious band Dark Shadow. Seriously, please read this! (WIP)

Behind The Scenes | A KiriBaku actor AU. What happens when you start falling for your co-star - and your on-screen love interest? (WIP, It’s rated E for smut, but there isn’t any yet)

We Didn't Start the Fire | What if Touya decided to make something out of himself instead of becoming a villain? This is amazing, by the way. (WIP)

it seems i'm never letting go | Here’s how I summarized it to myself... “Koi no yokan... will Blasty experience it? (His sister left)” By the way, koi no yokan is basically love at first sight, Japanese-style. (WIP)

Lips Like Blood | What happens when Bakugou, a mage, falls in love with the one person who can’t love him back? (WIP)

Charm Me, Loser | A Hogwarts AU that has no right being that ingenius and amazing. My only problem with it is sorta small... There’s already a wizarding school in Japan... Why aren’t they going there? (WIP)

Gotta Get Away | Tsuyu and Bakugou are out getting some new hero merch together because of the new buddy system at UA. What happens when they’re mistaken for a couple? (WIP)

Opposed to the Typical | A fashion AU. This is ridiculously good. It feels like the author was actually in the Japanese fashion industry! (WIP, smut, past child abuse, mental health issues)

One Day at a Time | Pretty genius idea, actually. Bakugou and Uraraka are trapped in what is essentially a time-speeder-upper. What’s going to be a day for their classmates is going to be a year for them. What will they do in that year together? (WIP, it’s rated Mature but it’s pretty innocent so far)

The UA Quarantine Collection | Basically, a bunch of authors got together and made a ton of one-shots of what Class 1A is doing in quarentine. Technically it isn’t a coherent story, but I’m counting it as one. There’s two versions, a clean version and a version with all the smutty bits. The smutty one’s the second story in the series. This one’s linked to the clean one. (WIP)

Midoriya Fuckin' Izuku | This is an amazing fic! It has a ton of TWs, though. Make sure to read the tags before starting it! (WIP)

Seeing Double | A very good, and very long, fantasy AU. (WIP, smut)

Broken, but Still Good | Bakugou was rescued, after four years, from an illegal alpha fighting ring. Can Kirishima, a beta, help him back to society? Pay attention to the tags. (WIP, A/B/O)

Broken Wings | Kirishima’s a dragon who was rescued from the dragon slave trade by the mysterious Bakugou Katsuki, I don’t know what else to say. (WIP)

The Roast of Class 2-A | Have a crackfic. (WIP)

The Space Between | Midoriya’s a photojournalist who is just starting out. One fateful night, he goes to photograph the Antiheros in concert. (WIP, mild smut)

A Fissile Family | Bakugou’s been kidnapped by the League of Villains again. They’re actually sorta a weird family. (WIP)

Mochi Mochi | Just take the official summary. “Ochako never saw a problem with DM-ing an internationally known actor her grocery lists, absolutely certain that he'd never see them. That is—until he replies. And who the hell does he think he is to tell her mochi isn't real food?”

Green as the Leaves, and Red as a Rose | A TodoDeku flower shop AU. (WIP)

remember my name | Post-UA, Bakugou realizes that some things are for forever.

Blinding Shapes | What happens when soulmates, a blind abstract artist and a burnt out barista meet?

a heart swelled to bursting | Mind the tags, here. Training camp part 2 for Class 2A. (WIP)

manly man falls for manliest man | What happens when businessman!Kirishima meets his idol, and maybe biggest celebrity crush ever, actor!Bakugou? (Smut)

Miscellaneous Stuff From Other Fandoms

I have some Harry Potter fics lying around somewhere, so I’m going to add those later.

Stucco Hearts | One of my absolute favorite soulmate fics ever, from Percy Jackson.

Christmas and Chill | A old series I sorta just came across again from PJO.

The Florist and the Punk | Maybe another old series from PJO.

Hearts Need Love | Keep an eye on the tags! This is my favorite PJO fic of all time.

Our Songs | It’s good if I spent half an hour trying to find it again. It’s a Solangelo songfic.

Some random writers I recommend (A lot more coming along-I’m in the middle of a ton of different fics right now)

aloneintherain | @captainkirkk

wonhaebunny | @wonhaebunny

rosedvst

Sif (Rosae) | @intothedarknessigo

kiritime

sinderellaa

aloera | @aloera

Argentina | @junepixel

KuriKuri | @letaizawarest

#the pleb's fic recs #bnha #mha #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #pjo #percy jackson and the olympians #hoo #heros of olympus #percy jackson #fic recs #kiribaku #bakushima #jiroumomo #tododeku #dabi is a todoroki #bakusquad #actor au #band au #mind reader #empath #artist au #coffee shop au #kacchaco #businessman au #flower shop au #league of villains #soulmates #fantasy au #fashion au

[talesfromthesnogbox]

Stuck Here With you

Rating: M (Rating for explicit conversations about sex) 

Words: 3,586

Summary: Richie and Eddie are stuck quarantining themselves together... what could possibly go wrong? OR based on this tweet: "@cjkasulke: APPARENTLY you have all just been *waiting* for this moment to confess your love to your roommates, so many of you live with people you have been silently in love with for y e a r s"

Notes: This is so stupid. Yes, I wrote a quarantine fic. Yes, this whole thing is a serious matter and I am an adult who's working from home and it all sucks, and there are people dying all over the world, and I do care, but I just thought people needed a little bit of a laugh, ya know? Anyways, this is wildly out of character and not good in general, but drop a comment if you like it, or if you think I'm a horrible person, whateves.

AO3

*~*~*~*~*

Richie woke from his catnap with a startled jump as he heard the front door slam shut.

“Jesus Eds, is it 6:30 already? Did I sleep all day?” He asked with a laugh.

“No asshole, it’s noon.” Eddie slammed his briefcase on the breakfast bar and worked his tie open. “This pandemic bullshit has gotten out of control.”

“Is that why you’re home right now…”

“Yes! Jared that fucking lunatic went off and brought some girl home last weekend and now he’s got a fever, so we were all sent home, and I’m stuck in isolation.”

Eddie was pissed, but Richie could see through his thinly veiled layer of anger; there was fear.

“Oh. Do you hang around Jared a lot at work?”

He sighed. “No, no I don’t, but it’s just a precaution until he can get tested properly.”

“That’s good then, right?”

It was good. After seven full days, Eddie finally emerged from his room with a cheery smile. “Jared’s in the clear, turns out he just picked up some STD, and I get to go back into work tomorrow.” He plopped down on the couch.

“That’s great Eds, but I hate to break it to you…” Richie pointed towards the TV where the headline read “California officially shut down”.

The first few days felt like any weekend would. They had extra groceries delivered, they binged some true crime documentary on Netflix, they had a group Skype session with the Losers, they did pretty much anything that took their minds off the current situation. But then the fifth day hit.

It was only 7am when Richie dragged himself out of bed for a coffee. Sure it was early, and he had nowhere to be, but time meant nothing anymore.

Usually Richie’s clamoring about the kitchen woke Eddie up. The first few nights that Eddie moved in after Derry were rough; turns out, Eddie was a pretty light sleeper, and Richie was loud. But today, there was no Eddie in sight.

He continued on his way, pouring himself a bowl of cereal when he saw it through the window to his backyard… and promptly spilled milk all over the counter.

On the bright side, Richie had found Eddie. The only downfall was he’d found him in a pair of tiny running shorts and a tank top doing squats on his deck.

“Fuck!” Richie swore, grabbing a tea towel to clean up the mess he’d made.

“Richie?” Eddie stopped his squats and ran into the house. “What the fuck happened dickwad?”

“N-nothing, nothing happened, it’s just early and I lost my grip.”

Eddie rolled his eyes.

“So um… what’s happening in the backyard there, Jillian Michaels?” Richie giggled.

“Fuck off. I usually go to the gym before work, but now that the gym’s closed, I had to improvise.”

“Ahh, I see, trying to pick up the new future Mrs. K with…” with thighs I want to wear as earmuffs and that tight ass? He was glad there was an entire counter between them to hide the fact that he was currently at half-mast.

Eddie gave him a strange look and shook his head. “Shut the fuck up. I’m a divorced 40-year-old living with his best friend, I don’t think I’m going to be picking someone up that easily at the gym. Besides, Santa Monica women aren’t really my type…”

“Oh? Well when this is all over, I know a few places we can go pick up chicks. West Hollywood, Beverly Hills, hell even Studio City. Name your type Eds, we’ll find her.”

“Aren’t you gay? How do you know so much about picking up women?”

“Closet case my boy.” Richie winked and took a bite of his cereal. “I’m as good of an actor as I am a comedian.”

“No wonder there were never any articles about how much of a playboy you were then.” Eddie said straight-faced, walking back out to finish his work out.

“Eds gets off a good one!”

*~*~*~*~*

After that eventful morning, Richie tried his hardest to stay in bed until after Eddie’s morning routine was done. One almost-embarrassing situation in his pants was enough to last a lifetime around his best friend of however-many years, he did not need it to escalate from there.

As the days passed on, the two of them found ways to entertain themselves. Eddie took to reading on the deck in the mild April weather, and Richie decided to pick up his guitar again for the first time in years.

He was a little rusty, but after a few hours of practice, it was like riding a bike, and before he knew it, he was back playing the tune he’d spent hours playing as a teenager.

Richie hummed along to the tune of “Eddie My Love” as his fingers formed the familiar chords with ease. He didn’t even realize Eddie walking in from the backyard, a stunned look on his face.

“Rich?” He jumped, startled at the sound of the other man.

“Hey Eds, sorry was I being loud?”

“N-no.” He shook his head. “I didn’t know you played.”

Richie chuckled. “Yeah, I picked it up in high school after Went agreed to teach me a bit. I was in a band in college, but we kinda sucked.”

Eddie scoffed. “You don’t suck, that tune is lovely. What is it?”

Richie’s face felt hot all the sudden. “Uhh, I can’t really remember the name, just something I used to play a bunch. It’s an oldie my mom really liked.”

“Can you teach me?”

His eyes widened. “Y-yeah, here, come sit.” He moved more away from the body and more towards the neck of his acoustic, allowing Eddie to sit nestled between his folded legs. “Okay, um so you hold it like this, and your fingers go here.” Richie curled Eddie’s fingers around the neck of the guitar, placing them in the correct spots on the frets. “So we start with a G chord.” His other arm snaked around Eddie’s shoulder to show him how to strum the chord.

Eddie shivered, completely engulfed by his best friend, noticing for the first time how much he loved his arms being wrapped around him like this.

“Then we move to an E minor.” Richie shifted Eddie’s fingers again and strummed. “Then A minor, and up to D.”

Eddie moved his fingers, pliant beneath Richie’s big hand. His heart beat fast, and he could feel Richie’s breath warm on his shoulder as he played.

For a moment, Eddie could convince himself that Richie felt the same way about him, but only for a moment. They were best friends, and just because Richie was gay, it didn’t mean he was interested in Eddie, no matter how hard he wished that he was. He would never have Richie, but he’d always have this moment.

*~*~*~*~*

“Alright, that’s it. We’re getting drunk.” Richie pulled out a rather large bottle of vodka and a few other spirits. “I’m mixing you up a quarantini.”

“A what now?”

“Quarantini, Eds. We’re getting shitfaced.”

Eddie rolled his eyes. “Rich, there’s no way in hell I’d—” he paused. Maybe this was the perfect way to come on to Richie. Lowered inhibitions were a great excuse to do something potentially stupid, and if it all went sour, he could blame it on the alcohol. “You know what, fuck it. Mix me a quarantini.”

“That’s the spirit!” He mixed the drinks and dragged Eddie over to the couch. “Alright, we’re indulging tonight. I want not a peep from you. I never got to do any of this gay shit before, and now is the perfect excuse to start a new series. We’re watching RuPaul’s Drag Race.”

Eddie nodded his head. “Drag racing, okay cool, I like cars.”

Richie burst out laughing. “No asshole, drag race… like drag queens.” He popped on a random season and hit play.

Four episodes and many quarantinis later, both Eddie and Richie were yelling at the TV.

“How could they send April home, she’s like the hottest one there!” Eddie put his hands up.

“Right? Look at how hot he is ugh I just wanna…” Eddie glanced over at Richie with a smirk. “Shut up.”

“No, no, I see it.” He pulled out his phone, April’s instagram profile already loaded. “The scruff is driving me mental.”

Richie chuckled. “Eds, that sounds kinda gay.”

“Yeah, no shit Sherlock.” Eddie said, face heating up. “Um, surprise?”

“Oh… shit dude, yeah, um, congratulations. Thanks for telling me.” Richie brought his friend into a tight hug, the alcohol running through his system making him feel a little light headed.

“Thanks for being cool about it.” Eddie mumbled, pulling away a bit, but still resting within Richie’s grasp.

“Hey man, I get it… I’m a closet case too.” He laughed.

The two were silent for a moment, content in each other’s grasp, until Eddie couldn’t handle the silence anymore. “Come on, next episode. I hope Laganja gets booted, I can’t stand her.”

Many episodes and quarantinis later, Eddie was fully shitfaced.

“Come on, bedtime for Eds.”

Eddie giggled. “Yeah Rich, take me to bed.” He waggled his eyebrows in a way that made Richie’s heart stutter.

“Alright, alright, that’s enough from you.” Richie deposited Eddie onto the bed, helping him with his shirt, when Eddie pulled him down hard.

“Oops, sorry Rich.” He giggled. “’s not my fault, you’re trying to get me out of my clothessss.”

“You’re wearing jeans, I can’t let you go to bed in jeans Eddie. What kind of asshole wears jeans in quarantine.” Richie giggles, undoing Eddie’s zip and pulling his jeans down his hairless legs. Fuck, his legs are amazing. “Eds, do you wax?” Richie giggled, rubbing a hand up his thigh.

“Pffftt, we’re in isolation shithead, I haven’t been to my wax girl in weeks.”

A jubilant laugh bubbled from Richie’s chest. “Shit, I’ve learned more about you tonight than I have in all the years I’ve known you. You really are a twunk.”

“A what now?”

Richie planted himself down on the bed beside Eddie. “Twunk, hunky twink.”

A look of realization dawned on Eddie. “Ohhhh, that makes a lot of sense. The dude at the checkout told me I was a twunk when I went to buy those underwear without the butt.”

Richie’s brain went blank. “Eddie, do you wear thongs?”

“No asshole, the other thing without the butt. Jock something, I can’t remember.”

“A jockstrap? Eddie are you trying to kill me right now?”

“Shut the fuck up asshole! They’re good for working out in. And they don’t give me lines in my nice suit pants.” Richie was speechless. “So if I’m a twunk, what are you?”

“I—I—I think it’s time for bed.”

“Oh.” Eddie said sounding dejected. “O-or we could just hang out?”

Richie was at an impasse. He knew they were walking a thin line right now, and he shouldn’t stay, but he wanted to see where this would take him, he didn’t want to leave Eddie’s side.

“I think I could hang out for a bit.”

Their “hanging out” didn’t last very long. Within ten minutes, the two men were out cold.

Richie woke up first the next morning and left the soundly sleeping Eddie to go make a pot of coffee. His head was pounding, and as much as he knew the bright sunlight was going to burn his eyes, the fresh air couldn’t hurt.

He’d never been more thankful for his manager who also happened to be a fantastic decorator. The outdoor couch may have seemed stupid to him when he first bought the place, but at times like this, it was a great choice. He could relax, and look out towards the ocean, and forget everything that happened the night before.

That is until Eddie decided to join him.

Richie’s breath left his lungs once he got a good look at his friend. It was like a blast from the past seeing him in a pair of tiny red running shorts, much like those he wore when he was a kid, but now… now they were so much more. Richie’s mouth watered when his eyes caught a good look at how Eddie’s ass filled out the shorts. A large tank top donned his torso, one that Richie had been gifted, and definitely not been too comfortable wearing himself judging by how low cut the arm holes were. He looked hot, not that he wasn’t always attracted to Eddie, but this felt like something had changed, a sexual awakening of sorts, and Richie would never look at his friend the same way.

“Fuck, I don’t think I’ve ever been so hungover.” Eddie complained as he sat beside Richie. “That stupid drink went down like water.”

“Yeah man I hear you, I feel like shit.”

“I had fun though, it’s been a long time since I’ve had that much fun.”

Richie looked over to him. “No regrets about spilling your guts then?”

Eddie winced. “Okay, maybe you didn’t have to hear about what kind of underwear I prefer.”

Richie burst out laughing. “No, I definitely appreciated that tidbit of information, Eds. I’m proud that my twunk theory was right.”

“Fuck you.”

“Fuck me yourself you coward.” Richie mumbled to himself.

“Sorry, what was that?”

“N-nothing.” He said, darting inside. “Going to work on my new show, I’ll see you in a bit.”

Richie had to get out of there. Last night was a lot, sure, but something felt different today. Seeing Eddie in his boxer briefs felt almost safer than whatever the hell he was wearing today. It’s almost like… almost like he’d purposely dressed up for Richie, and it was killing him. He didn’t know how much more he could take before he combusted.

Unfortunately for Richie, this new look seemed to be Eddie’s new uniform. Richie could tell that now Eddie was out to him, he felt more comfortable being himself, but Richie hated every second of it.

He dreaded seeing Eddie in the morning, dreaded knowing what fresh hell lay beyond his bedroom door in the form of a 5’9 firey bundle of sex personified.

Nearly a month into their quarantine, it was finally warm enough for Richie to sit out by the pool. He donned the brightest swim trunks he could find and rubbed his pale skin down with sunscreen, soaking up some vitamin D.

He’d been out there for just under an hour when he heard (and felt) a splash from the pool where Eddie jumped in.

“Okay, I take back everything bad I ever said about you having a pool when the ocean is right there. The pool is definitely more relaxing than the beach.”

Richie giggled. “I told you, asshole.”

“Oh, and I totally figured out what you are now. If I’m a twunk, you’re an otter.”

“A what now?” Richie removed his sunglasses and moved to sit on the edge of the pool.

“An otter.” Eddie rested his elbows on Richie’s thighs as his calves framed his torso. “At least that’s what I think. It’s like a softer bear. You’re not quite as big and not enough hair to be a bear, and you’re still too thin to be a cub, so you’re an otter.”

“I understood exactly none of what you said except for ‘bear’. I met a bear on Grindr just before Derry that made me realize I like being the bigger body in bed.” Richie winked saucily.

“So you’re a top then Trashmouth?”

Richie’s brows rose into his hairline. “I—I—we are not talking about this right now, not when you’re this close to my dick.”

“Oh come on, you used to talk about your dick all the time.”

“Yeah, I was a closeted kid who’s balls hadn’t dropped yet, obviously I wanted to come off as heterosexual as I could.”

Eddie laughed. “Okay, good point.”

The two sat in the same position for a few minutes, exchanging no words between them. It felt intimate, it felt like Eddie was flirting with him, but he’d never been good at picking up signs. Could Eddie want this too?

“I am though.” He said quietly, finally breaking the silence.

“You’re what?”

Richie’s heart thudded in his chest. “A top, I guess. I don’t mind bottoming, I like it, but I guess I just…”

Eddie grinned. “You like being in charge?”

“No, fuck no.” Richie laughed.

“Really? Huh, okay.” Eddie nodded, mostly to himself.

“Hey, what the fuck does that mean?”

“Nothing, nothing at all Tozier.” Eddie pushed off of Richie’s legs and floated on his back towards the inflatable lounger.

*~*~*~*~*

The week that followed was agonizing. All Eddie wore was those stupid shorts and a variation of t-shirt/tank-top/fucking crop top, and it was driving Richie mental. He felt like a teenager again, he’d never had so many hard-ons in one week in his life.

It was only a matter of time before Richie snapped.

Richie was descending the stairs from his room one fateful morning and groaned rather loudly when he saw what was waiting for him.

The shorts seemed shorter, tighter on his ass (damn all those squats he does) and his already short shirt seemed to rise up, showing the lovely dimples on his lower back as he reached for a bowl from a high shelf.

“Hey Rich, can you help me… what’s wrong?”

He huffed out a laugh. “What’s wrong? Are you fucking kidding me?”

“Wh—did I do something?”

Richie stared at Eddie in disbelief. “Did you… did you do someth—the shorts man, what’s with the shorts!”

“The shorts? I always wear the shorts.”

“I fucking know you always wear the shorts, that’s the problem!” Richie’s stomach rolled. He thought he was going to throw up, he’d never been this candid about his feelings in his life.

“You have a problem with the way I dress? Fuck you, dude.”

“Fuck me yourself you coward!”

Both men fell silent. The tension could be cut with a knife, it was so thick between them.

“Richie?”

“Fuck man, I’m sorry I freaked out on you like that, I just don’t know if I can take this anymore. We’ve been cooped up for a month and I swear I’ve done more jacking off in the last month than I ever did as a teenager.” As good as it felt to spill his guts, he definitely thought he was going to pass out any second.

“I—I don’t…”

“The worst part is, it’s not even just that I’m horny. It’s you! Shit man, I’ve been dreaming of you since we were fucking teenagers. And now… now here you are looking like a goddamn… a goddamn what’s the word… a goddamn snack, telling me shit about the sexy underwear you buy, and asking me if I’m a top. Eddie, I don’t know if you’re flirting with me or not, but Jesus fucking Christ, it’s taking every single fiber of my willpower to not rip your clothes off right now.”

Eddie held back a smile. “Wait, I’m sorry, what? You couldn’t tell I was flirting with you? Are you fucking blind? Actually don’t answer that, I know you’re fucking blind.”

Richie was sure he was gonna get a nosebleed any second. “S-so you were flirting with me?”

Eddie laughed out loud. “Yes you idiot! Literally since the moment I got here, I have been flirting with you. You didn’t get the hint that I have feelings for you?”

“What the fuck, no man! Like you said, I’m fucking blind. I thought you were straight until a few weeks ago!”

Eddie moved to lean against the island, closer to Richie. “You dumbass, I tried so hard the night I came out to you, why do you think I told you about what fucking underwear I wear?”

“I don’t know man, I’m not good at this shit.”

“Clearly!”

Richie cast his eyes down. “S-so, so you really like me?”

Eddie reached for his hand and interlaced their fingers. He pulled Richie closer to him, so he was pinned between Richie and the island. “I love you, dickwad.”

Richie huffed out a laugh. “I love you too.” He blinked rapidly, looking up towards the light. “Oh god, why am I crying.”

“Get over here you big baby.” Eddie detangled his fingers from Richie’s and brought his hand up to the other man’s cheek, bringing him in for a kiss. It was sweet, it was chaste, it was everything Richie wanted from Eddie when they were younger.

But he wasn’t a teenager, and he wanted more.

He dove forward, tongue clashing with Eddie’s. It was hot, it was toe curling good. He snaked his other hand down Eddie’s side, curling around his hip and moving to squeeze his ass. Eddie groaned and ground himself into Richie’s thigh.

“Fuck.” Richie said pulling away. “Fuck, how are you so hot? We’re fucking forty man.”

“Me? Dude, look at you. Your arms… your chest…” Eddie snaked his hand under Richie’s shirt, scratching at the smattering of hair on his pecs.

“Jesus man, I’m not gonna last… fuck… bedroom?”

“Bedroom.”

*~*~*~*~*

The two men finally emerged from Richie’s bedroom for dinner later on with kiss bruised lips and satisfaction plastered on their faces.

“Anything good on?” Eddie asked as Richie turned on the TV. “Rich?”

Richie laughed. “You better come see this.”

“QUARANTINE LIFTED” The headline read as news anchors happily recounted the fall in new cases, and the rise in recoveries.

“You’re fucking joking.”

#reddie #reddie fic #Richie x Eddie #it fic #yup this is so stupid #yet here I am posting it #my writing

[iwanthermidnightz]

Welcome to the apocalypse! We’ve been training for this: doomsday prepping, absorbing YA disaster series as if they’re real life, staying in every night while our friends go out, U-Hauling with our new significant other… What I’m describing here is a lesbian, folx. We, as in lesbians, have been training for this. And now that cuffing season has officially turned to lockdown season, this is the time to get yourself a lesbian of your own.

If you’re reading this, you’re likely under quarantine, or at absolute least social distancing (and if you’re not, f*ck you, you’re going to kill us all). Coronavirus is here. It’s closed our borders, our restaurants, our bars. Many 9-5 workers are being asked to work from home. All of this is to say queer women have taken a collective sigh of relief: Isolating is an intrinsic part of the queer experience. You’ve probably heard jokes about queer female couples staying in at night and U-Hauling — the phenomenon in which new lesbian couples get so attached so quickly that they shack up together after the first date. This is what we do. This is where we thrive. Welcome to our culture. I’m actually encouraging you to appropriate it as a means of public safety. For your own good: Get a lesbian, now.

This may seem like a pyramid-scheme-like sales pitch, but it’s actually more of a surgeon general warning: If you want to survive this pandemic, invite a queer woman into your home and let her do her thing. She’ll know what to do. All you have to do is emotionally support her in return. Here’s what getting a lesbian during the apocalypse can do for you:

MacGyvering

Ever heard of a lumberjack lesbian? Now is the time for us to lean into the stereotypes about our people: We are a fuel-efficient, hybrid-driving, roll up your sleeves, flannel-wearing, wood-chopping, elbow-greasing, hunting, gathering, rub some dirt in it, rip that thing out of your lighter with our teeth and build a fire type of people. Your toilet broke and you can’t call a plumber? No problem — you got dental floss? Your lesbian will rig your pipes. Do you need a table built? Don’t even worry about it — your lesbian waited till nightfall and walked barefoot through the streets collecting wood scraps until sunrise. It was no problem — whatever we don’t use can go in the fireplace, babe. (I hacksawed a hole in your wall and built a chimney while you were asleep, hope that’s cool.)

Give You Books

Every queer woman waits a lifetime to be able to gift her favorite books to her partner. It’s our love language. Need fiction recommendations? Tight. Here’s every Pulitzer fiction winner since the ’80s. Have you read Three Women? Have you read any Patti Smith? Have you read The Price of Salt, the book that Carol is based on? Do you want to cuddle and read and my cat can sit between us? Wait, you haven’t read Jane Eyre? *dumps a truckload of books onto your lawn*

Also, we like to recommend things in general. Need movie suggestions? Here are the 100 best lesbian movies ranked and indexed based on yearning and eye contact. Here are 40 must-see Rosalía music videos. Here are TV shows I like solely because a 40- to 50-year-old actress is in it. Have you seen The Outsider? Oh, Julianne Nicholson is great in it. Have you seen the paparazzi photos of her holding hands with Julia Roberts? Should I stop talking? Are you still awake?

Emotional Support

Are you horny and alone? Do you want someone soft and nice, who smells good and washes their face with actual facewash to hold on to? Boy, have I got the thing just for you: a lesbian. Like I said, this is a great time to wear our stereotypes on our sleeves: We are clingy people. If given permission, we will stick to you like a barnacle on a pier. Let us hold and comfort you through the absolute mental health shitstorm that comes with enduring a global crisis. Your lesbian will bring blankets and her fluffiest pillow, a dozen or so self-help books, her favorite meditation app, vegan tissues, bath bombs, and an open communication channel. Need to process? Sweet. Let’s do it for two weeks straight without interruptions. Our tolerance for trauma is way up there. We can take it. Lay it on me.

Hoarding

Nothing goes better with worldwide panic than hoarding. Your lesbian can help you cobble together meals out of old cans in the back of your pantry. You didn’t even know you had that? No problem. Tomato paste can go in almost anything. Plus, I brought a wagon of supplies you didn’t know you needed. What do we have here… Plant-based milks and cheeses, nonperishables, coffee beans and my Chemex for pour-over, New York Times crossword books, batteries, loofahs, candelabras (not needed, but not not needed), a humidifier, essential oils and a diffuser, a weighted blanket, a paper bag to heave into, hers and hers mugs, poems, a dozen extremely comfy sports sweatshirts (and long sleeved t-shirts and sweatpants) from the ’90s…

Sex Toys

I mean, c’mon. Your lesbian’s got you covered.

#jill gutowitz #im dying

[infp-with-all-the-feelings]

HAPPY BFSN!

Thanks for the tag @kylie-in-the-sky! I haven't taken many pictures since quarantine so this picture is from Chicago a couple weeks before everything shut down. Ya know, back when we could go to museums and stuff.

It's been a crazy and somewhat stressful hiatus cause I just finished moving! I'm officially living on my own for the very first time (my roommate had to move home because COVID has left her jobless). So that's been a weird adjustment. I still have some things to unpack but all the important stuff is out so I'm starting to feel more settled.

Here's hoping we see our boy this episode! I've seen a lot of people say we won't, but we're still breathing, right? I don't get to watch live but I'll be up before work to watch and can't wait to see everyone's reactions!

Tagging: @bookwormforalways, @otp-armada, @blackholeantiuniverse, @burninghoneyatdusk, @communicationnskills, @jasperjoordan, and anyone else who wants to join!

#happy bfsn #bfsn #bellarke family selfie night #it's me C

[ruoyeming]

My Fav Books, another chaotic list

Another quarantine review fest! I know I ranked my top anime but this is seriously too hard so I’m just going to list them to avoid hours of debate. Enjoy!

1) The Skulduggery Pleasant series

This whopper of a series (now at 15 books jesus christ I didn’t know there were that many I’ve only read about twelve) has a special place in my heart. I was FULLY obsessed with it throughout my tween - and teen - years, and for a reason. This shit just butters my bread like nothing else. The story follows a young girl Valkyrie Cain (who eventually becomes a young woman through the series) and her partner in crime, a fashionable living skeleton called Skulduggery Pleasant. They’re MAGICAL DETECTIVES!!!! Bitch!!! They use elemental magic - water, earth, fire, air - to fight off magic-wielding bad guys and look good doing it. The duo is hilarious and seriously shaped my sense of humour, the dry wit and comedic writing style stuck with me and influenced my own writing style to this day! As the series progresses we get a massive cast of characters but to me they’re all memorable, likable (mostly) and well-developed so that’s not an issue. I have no fukcing clue how Derek Landy comes up with his stories because every book in the series has an absolutely wild (yet unique) plot with its own twists and turns. It gets REALLY dark and depressing at times, gory, brutal etc etc especially in the later books I have no idea why this is labeled as a kids series.

10/10 for badassery, humour, and MAD codependency issues

2) The Feverwake series

This bitch is one hell of a YA series. It’s actually only a 2 book-series which is rare, but that’s not the only thing that sets it apart from other creations of its genre. It’s hard to explain the setup without waffling so I’ll just quote the blurb of the first book: “In the former United States, sixteen-year-old Noam Álvaro wakes up in a hospital bed, the sole survivor of the viral magic that killed his family and made him a technopath. His ability to control technology attracts the attention of the minister of defense and thrusts him into the magical elite of the nation of Carolinia.

The son of undocumented immigrants, Noam has spent his life fighting for the rights of refugees fleeing magical outbreaks—refugees Carolinia routinely deports with vicious efficiency. Sensing a way to make change, Noam accepts the minister’s offer to teach him the science behind his magic, secretly planning to use it against the government. But then he meets the minister’s son—cruel, dangerous, and achingly beautiful—and the way forward becomes less clear.”

As you can tell from this, the series is heavy on its politics but in a grounded, realistic and relevant way which is different to many other YA series. Marxist theory is brought up, and you can make some pretty strong links between the books and real events. The magic also has a semi-scientific explanation which is cool and adds to the realness. Anyways this series is action packed and full of twists, plus there’s a bisexual main character and queer romance at the core!! Wig!!! Very good for moral debate - how far is it acceptable to go to protect the oppressed before you become one of the oppressors? Dark and exciting series.

10/10 queer representation and political themes.

3) Spin the Dawn

It’s probably obvious that I’m biased towards YA books but they’re just so exciting and cool! Anyways this is about a girl living in a kind of alternate universe ancient China where magic exists. Maia Tamarin is a skilled seamstress who dreams of being the Imperial Tailor, a position that can only be held by a man. She poses as her brother to go to the royal palace and enter a competition full of skilled tailors, all vying for the role of imperial tailor. She also meets Edan; a mysterious, annoying, but SEXY mage who seems to know her secret identity? Oho? IMO this would be an elevated book if Edan had been a girl but that’s just me being gay. As the final challenge Maia is tasked with making 3 dresses from the sun, moon, and stars - a mission that takes her to the ends of the world in search of these magical materials (obvs Edan goes with her and they kiss kiss fall in love). It’s a fairly classic YA plot and characters but the combination of Project Runway, Mulan, and kind of Lord of the Rings(??) vibes makes for a very entertaining read. It’s also really fun to imagine what the clothes look like, plus the romance between Maia and Edan is very cute. Second book is yet to be published but sounds lit.

10/10 magic fashion and romance (despite its heterosexuality)

4) Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe

Usually I steer clear of angsty gay stories because I’ve consumed too much of the depressing narrative which is all about suffering because of being gay, but fuuuuuuck this book is like the definition of bittersweet. Mostly bitter to be fair but it has a happy ending which was lovely after the emotional torment of the book. It’s about two teen boys - Aristotle is angry and repressed, Dante is eccentric but kind, and the two eventually form a strong friendship after meeting at the local pool. It’s kind of obvious that Ari is in denial about a few things, which leads to some real sad boi hours. There’s also a devastating moment around halfway (not sure) through with a car accident which makes the whole thing 10x heavier. Despite all this, the book has its sweet moments - parents play a big role, but not in the way they usually do in queer stories - and like I said the ending is the bandage for your broken heart. I’m not sure what it is about the writing style, maybe the way it just cuts between scenes randomly or perhaps the way the dialogue and actions are so realistic, but it’s so different to any other book I’ve read that it’s stayed in my mind for a while after reading it.

10/10 really good philosophy plus supportive parents

5) The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue

Okay if this was a ranked list, this bad boy would be on its way to the top spot. It’s got everything: historical setting, gays, pirates, alchemy, humour, adventure, angst, character development, and some healthy second-hand embarrassment. It’s not complicated or philosophical but reading this book all in one go is like taking five shots and diving into a pool. It’s exciting and witty, but deals with darker themes like child abuse too. One of the MCs also has a disability and doesn’t treat it as something to be cured, which is a lesson our protagonist has to learn. Speaking of protagonists, Henry ‘Monty’ Montague is a great main character. He’s obnoxious, oblivious, and hedonistic yet quick-witted and passionate, and he has a good heart. Sometimes you just want to grab him by the shoulders and shake him for being such an ignorant idiot, but throughout the book he grows and learns to open his mind more (as well as becoming more humble). He’s a great example of a flawed yet likable main character. He is also a bisexual icon.

Oof forgot to even talk about the story. Monty embarks on a tour of Europe, usually taken by lads his age to get all cultured before they settle down and inherit the family company or whatever. With him are his younger sister Felicity, a girl with a brilliant mind for science who isn’t taken seriously by anyone because of her gender, and the lovely Percy, Monty’s lifelong best friend (and crush). Monty ends up stealing a very valuable object that turns the Tour into a manhunt across Europe, and drags the trio into a big ol’ conspiracy involving something that may or may not be the philosopher’s stone????

Issues of race, gender, and disability in historical context are really well done, and it’s an absolute banger of a book.

10/10 very exciting adventure, plus GREAT GAY ROMANCE

6) Heaven Official’s Blessing

HOOOOOO BOY. This is probably my absolute fave on this list. It’s a webnovel (originally Chinese but the full translation is online). Set in ancient china in the cultivation world (difficult as shit to explain if ur not into all of that but I’ll try), basically there’s three realms - the heavenly realm, the human/mortal realm, and the ghostly realm. If a mortal reaches a certain point (good deeds, power etc), they ascend to become a god - or if they fall far enough, they become a ghost. 

I’ll just quote the author’s description again cause I don’t have the brain cells required:

 “Eight hundred years ago, Xie Lian was the Crown Prince of the Xian Le kingdom. He was loved by his citizens and was considered the darling of the world. He ascended to the Heavens at a young age; however, due to unfortunate circumstances, was quickly banished back to the mortal realm. Years later, he ascends again–only to be banished again a few minutes after his ascension. Now, eight hundred years later, Xie Lian ascends to the Heavens for the third time as the laughing stock among all three realms. On his first task as a god thrice ascended, he meets a mysterious demon who rules the ghosts and terrifies the Heavens, yet, unbeknownst to Xie Lian, this demon king has been paying attention to him for a very, very long time.”

It’s hard to describe the enormity of this story and all the emotions it encapsulates, you really have to read it for yourself. But bitch the undying, pure, Hozier-devotion-level LOVE is by far my favourite part of this story. If you’re looking for an epic, god-tier gay romance, then this is it baby!! This story has comedy, action, and downright harrowingly depressing moments, but throughout is this achingly beautiful love between fallen god and last believer.

I don’t wanna give too much away cause there are some big ol’ plot reveals, but oooh this shit made me cry. The protagonist is MY FAVOURITE EVER I didn’t think it was possible to like a protag so much!! He’s legit my fave character! At first he seems oblivious and carefree but he’s just doing his goddamn best after all he’s been through and he’s so fukcing kind and just wants to help everyone for fuckcs sake excuse me I need to go have a breakdown.

Okay I’m back, anyway there’s a great cast of characters, even the background characters are all incredibly memorable and all given their time to shine and develop. My faves include Quan Yizhen, a rowdy himbo who just wants to fight, and Shi Qing Xuan, a friendly genderfluid god who controls the wind. Read this shit I’m not joking it’ll change your life. 

10/10 for everything

#book review #book recommendations

[unofficialkfamtranscripts]

King Falls AM - Episode 7: Major Tom to Ground Control

View on Google Docs

Summary: August 1, 2015 - The boys at King Falls AM receive a phone call from a familiar voice that sends the show, as well as the residents of King Falls, into an uproar.

[podcast intro music]

Sammy And thanks so much to Vernon from Vernon’s Vermin Vestibule for that thorough and intense interview.

Ben And those slides he brought in! I- I d- I didn’t need to see that.

Sammy You and me both, Ben. So, changing gears here, we’re just gonna take a quick pause for the cause. We’ll be right back to take your calls, King Falls. [quietly] (So much rhyming) — 424-279-3858.

[classical music]

Beauregard Ladies and gentlemen, I am Howard Ford Beauregard III, and I implore you, dare I say demand that you turn off this radio station post-haste. King Falls AM used to be a place you could trust your ears to. Wholesome, family-oriented, fair and balanced. Now it’s ran by dirty, lying filth mongerers[sic] spreading rumor and dissent throughout our peaceful community. Samuel Stevens and Benjamin Arnold should be proclaimed Public Enemy Number One. In all my years, all my family’s years in our idyllic town, I can’t recall anyone being allowed to disparage our good name so open and freely and till the fertile lands of distrust… Friends, please heed my advice and turn off this impurity. Let me save you from the mire and muck King Falls AM fills you with. Do yourself a favor. Go outside, breathe the fresh mountain air, go read a book! Perhaps an e-book! more so, the e-book “King of King Falls” by yours truly. Be well, compatriots!

End this transmission Celestia!

[KFAM theme]

Sammy You gotta be sh[bleep]ng me.

Ben I hate that guy but ads pay the bills, Sammy.

Sammy We’re not gonna have bills without a show, Ben!

Ben [light and disingenuous] You don’t think this has anything to do with him coming in the studio a few weeks back, do you?

Sammy [sarcastic and annoyed] Oh, of course not, whatever could have put that bee in his bonnet.

Ben I’m just saying maybe he hated us before we kicked him out of the studio and insinuated he was the Lord Vampire.

Sammy *sigh* Moving forward—

Ben Board is lit up, Sammy! Let’s take some calls. You’re live on King Falls AM

Caller [Definitely Pete Myers doing a very bad snooty voice] Samuel Stevens, Benjamin Arnold.

Sammy [muttered]Oh this is gonna be good— uh, you’re live.

Caller You two heathens can kiss my ass and this listener goodbye. Treating Mr. Beauregard like that! I will never listen to this filth again! [pronounced “a-gAYn”]

Ben [petulant] Go watch Channel 13 then! We don’t want you to listen!

Sammy [voice-of-reason]Ben, don’t take it personally. Obviously Beauregard is a… trusted personality in this town, and he’s- gonna have some sway with people, [harsher] but it’s funny we’ve not had one complaint in the two weeks since that crackpot was on the show.

Ben Power of media man, bringing out all these sheeple.

Sammy Alright, line eight, welcome to King Falls –

Line 8 Beauregard’s right, this is filth!

Sammy Okay, sir, what exactly is the issue with the show?

Line 8 You’re muckrakers! I don’t recall King Falls being so damn torn apart before you came into town, Sammy!

Sammy I’m just doing my job! I was hired to fill this time slot with news and information that—

Ben [cutting him off] Who is this?

Line 8 None a’ ya damn business, Ben!

Ben Pete Meyers? Come on, man!

Pete N- noo. Is not!

Ben Yeah, it is. W– Would you like to explain to everyone why Beauregard’s gardener is calling in?

Pete Don’t go working your voodoo on me, alright? I’m just statin’ my opinion. I’m never listening to 660 again. [quickly] King of King Falls, buy the ebook! [click]

[dial tone]

Sammy Folks, we’re open minded here on 660. We listen to you and talk about the things that you care about. I’m sorry if a vocal minority that we’ve offended but—

Ben Line four, you’re live with Sammy and Ben.

Tim [feedback] [audio broken and distorted] Is thIS King FaLls AM?

Sammy You’re live, sir.

[feedback]

Ben Whoa! Uh, the feedback! Uh tur- t-turn off your radio, sir.

[deep, unnatural thrumming behind feedback]

Sammy Ah, you know, I hate to do this, but that feedback is just too much. Give us a call back and—

Tim [worried, there’s a slight echo to his voice] DOn’- don’t hANg up. PleASE doN’t hang Up!

Sammy Who is this?

Tim I-it’s Tim- It’s Ti-TiM JE-Nsen?

Ben Tim! Where are you?!

Tim [feedback] He-EL-LO?

Sammy Tim, can you hear us? You’re on with Sammy and Ben. Are you okay?!

Tim I’m aLI-IVe. PLEase teLL mY wI-IFe thAT I –

Ben You’re breaking up, Tim. Uh where- where are you? We’ll come to get you right now—

Tim I’m okA-aY, plEaSe don’t StoP-P—

Sammy [hurried] Ben can you call—

Ben [on it] Troy’s on hold.

Tim TheY’Re- thEy’RE doIN— so M-Any oPEr-a-ATioNs O-n m-E. Please Help m-eE.

[sound starts, a high pitched buzz, growing in volume, like a racecar accelerating, this repeats for the rest of the call, louder each time]

Sammy Tell us where you are, Tim. We’ll send help immediately.

[buzz is louder than voices]

Ben Tim!

Tim I love my wife, Mary. I miss my kids… King Falls, please hELp mEEE!

[noise stops leaving just static]

Sammy [almost shouting] Tim! Tim, can you hear us?

[dial tone]

Ben [softly] He’s gone… Deputy Troy, you’re live.

Deputy Troy I heard him, fellas. Without a shadow of a doubt, that was Tim.

Sammy I- you know I d- I don’t know what to make of it, Troy, is there anything you can do?

Deputy Troy Ben texted me all the info he had on the call but— It ain’t making any sense. Has he called since, y’know, the uh, the disappearance?

Sammy Not to us I- you know, I just couldn’t make out a lot of what he was saying.

Ben Lot of interference from something. Or… someone.

Sammy He said Mary, right?

Ben You think we should—?

Sammy Oh God, no. God. We wouldn’t wanna put that poor lady on the spot with something like this. I mean she’s just been through so much already— [slightly desperate] I mean, that could have been anyone, right?

Ben That was Tim, Sammy.

Deputy Troy I wish there were something more we could do, boys, but- I don’t even know where to start. I was just listening to the show in Rose’s Diner and… I couldn’t believe it. [police radio can be heard faintly in the bg] Dollars to donuts, dispatch is gonna be lightin’ up tonight, boys. I’m gonna go finish my French cruller and make the rounds. I’ll catch you later, boys.

[click, dial tone]

Sammy [somberly] Line one, you’re on King Falls AM.

Cynthia Sammy? Ben?

Ben You got us, ma'am.

Cynthia Was that just Tim Jensen on the air?

Ben We… we believe it was. We- we don’t wanna cause an uproar here—

Sammy Per usual.

Ben But we have every reason to believe so. Uh d- do you have any information about Tim?

Cynthia I Do Not. I was calling to voice my concerns about him coming back from God-knows-where.

Ben Is this- Cynthia Higgenbaum?

Cynthia It’s Mrs. Higgenbaum to you, Ben, and thanks for broadcasting my info all over the tri-staate.

Sammy Cynthia, you say you have some concerns about Tim being found? Why?

Cynthia “Concerns” would be putting it mildly.

Sammy Okay, he’s a missing man, Cynthia. He’s been officially gone without a trace for over three months!

Cynthia Oh, don’t give me that “official line” of Horse Hockey! We all know Good and Well he got picked up by the lights off 72.

Sammy *exasperated chuckle* With all due respect—

Ben [cutting him off] He was abducted, Sammy. You know it, I know it, Cynthia knows it. The X-Files, this ain’t. They got him.

Sammy Okay, let’s just hold it together folks—

Ben But for goodness’ sake, Cynthia, why in the world would you have an issue if we finally found him?

Sammy I- you know, I’m just happy to hear that he’s alive. We all should be.

Cynthia Yeah yeah, he’s alive, hooray and such. But I’m gonna level with you boys.

Sammy [acerbic] Uh-huh.

Cynthia I Don’t Want Tim coming back into this community after gallivanting around the galaxy for three damn months with aliens or what-have-you. Who knows what kind of diseases he’s bringing back!?

Sammy Oh stop it!

Cynthia Martian Measles, Pluto Pox- who can say? I Don’t want my kids around that. Does Obamacare even cover Jupiter Jaundice? *scoffs* Doubtful!

Ben Cynthia, I think bringing Tim home safe and sound is of the utmost importance.

Cynthia Are you gonna pay my doctor bills? I didn’t think so.

Sammy Cynthia, we are talking about a man.

Cynthia We are talking about some weird sh[bleep]t Tim is bringing back, by golly! I know Tim. I worked with Tim for a few years, and he’s a nice enough guy! But he’s not nice enough to let his Ground Control to Major Tom[1] ass quarantine my babies at Area 51. Priorities!

Ben Sammy, Mary Jensen is on line five.

Sammy I’m sorry, Cynthia, we have to take this.

Cynthia Oh, good. I’m gonna go check my shelter and inventory my air filters. I suggest doing the same.

[click, dial tone]

Ben Mary Jensen.

Sammy Hi Mary, this is Sammy and Ben at King Falls AM?

Mary [morosely] Hi Sammy. Hi Ben.

Ben Mary have you… have you been listening to the broadcast tonight?

Mary I was. That’s why I called. Since Tim’s been gone I- *sigh* I don’t know which way is up. My sleep has been turned around, the kids…

Ben I’m sorry, Mary.

Mary [shakily, clearly trying not to cry] I wanna thank you two— Sammy and Ben- for all you’ve done during this ordeal.

Sammy We don’t have to get into that.

Mary No I-I think we do. I know that there are people that think that you two shouldn’t be on the air, but since Tim has been gone? You guys at the station have checked on me and the kids at least once a week. You’ve made donations. Ben even took the kids to the library last week so I could have time to myself!

Sammy [softly sarcastic] You’re a sweetheart, Ben, and to the library no less!

Ben [almost whispered] Don’t.

Mary [probably crying] I know you want Tim back in my arms almost as much as I do.

Sammy Mary, I wish we had more to tell you but you heard exactly what we did.

Mary I just thank- God— whomever is up there- that he’s still alive. He sounded okay right? [fearfully] Didn’t he sound okay?

Sammy He didn’t sound hurt.

Ben We appreciate the kind words, but- that can’t be what you called for.

Mary It wasn’t the only reason but um… make no mistake about this: the Jensens stand with you two. No matter what.

Sammy Thank you, Mary. I mean it’s obvious that Tim has reached out to us for a reason. You’ve told us in the past that he absolutely loved listening to Chet’s Jazz Corner and loved King Falls AM in general. Let’s hope he’s listening to you now, Mary. What would you like Tim to know?

Mary *sniffs* That, um- [tearfully] we’re okay, Tim. Please don’t worry about us. *sniff* And I- I know he will anyway but, we are okay. We are safe. We’re home, but *sniff* home isn’t home without you. I love you, Tim. *sniff* I know without a doubt that one day you’ll be back with us… I can’t wait for that day, but I will wait… [clearly struggling] Please be okay… Please be safe. *sniff*

Sammy Our thoughts are with you, Mary. And Tim.

Mary [choked up] My- my little one is up. Can she say something, Sammy?

Sammy Please, of course, by all means.

Mary [aside] Come on, sweetie, Daddy’s listening.

Bella Daddy?

Mary He called Mr. Ben and Mr. Sammy tonight.

Bella Daddy!

Sammy He’s listening right now. Tell him whatever you’d like.

Bella I love you. Please come home, I don’t want Mommy to cry anymore.

Mary Thank you Sammy… Ben… King Falls.

Sammy If you need anything, you just let us know.

Mary Yeah, of course. *small sob* Sorry, bye.

[click, dial tone]

Sammy Tim— if you’re listening— godspeed.

Ben Sorry to interrupt, Sammy. Line twelve.

Sammy Good evening, you’re live on King Falls AM.

Riley Please hold the line for Mayor Grisham.

Sammy [angrily] Hey, I wanna talk to you! I have got a bone to pick with you! Hello?

Riley Mayor, you’re on with Sammy and Ben.

Grisham Boys, boys, come on. Are we live?

Sammy Mayor Grisham, you have five seconds before this call self destructs.

Grisham It’s my understanding that Tim Jensen just reached out to you guys.

Ben [quickly] Five four three two—

Grisham I come in peace, guys! I’m sure you two will get everything you can regarding the call to Sheriff Gunderson’s office. I just wanted to say “thank you,” for being there for Tim— still in his time of need.

Sammy You have my curiosity, Mayor.

Ben Sammy, my horsesh[bleep]t radar is off the charts right now! It’s, it’s hitting Seabiscuit[2] levels.

Sammy Did you just bleep yourself?

Ben Yeah, I mean, come on, man. You want fines on top of trouble, too?

Grisham I’ll be as friendly as a pen pal, gents. I just wanted to speak to King Falls. That is, if you two will allow me.

Ben Horsesh[bleep]t radar is still solidly at “circus pony.” I- I don’t know if this is a good idea.

Sammy You know, you’re ridiculous. And generally I would agree, Ben, but this is for Tim. The floor is reluctantly all yours, Mayor.

Grisham *clears throat* Thank you… Ladies and gentlemen of King Falls and everyone listening to this broadcast, I just want to let you know we are doing all we can to bring Tim back home, safe and sound. We are working day and night to make sure his lovely daughter and his wife get to hug their father and husband again. I want to reiterate that if you have any information about Tim, his disappearance, or subsequently his call tonight for help, please do not take matters into your own hands. Please call the hotline set up at–

[KFAM outro]

[CREDITS]

References

[1] “Ground Control to Major Tom” - a well known line from David Bowie’s “Space Oddity”. Major Tom is a fictional astronaut who features in several of Bowie’s songs.

[2] Seabiscuit - Seabiscuit was a champion thoroughbred racehorse in the United States who became the top money winning racehorse up to the 1940s.

#king falls am #king falls #kfam #sammy stevens #ben arnold #tim jensen #pete myers #hfb3 #troy krieghauser #mary jensen #cynthia higgenbaum #kfam transcripts #kfam ep7

[distantwhenbeckoning]

Social Distance Tag

Social Distance Tag

– was tagged by @queerlylibra💗          

are you staying home from work/school?

Unfortunately not. I’m an “essential” worker, meaning I have to still deal with the general public when I even get the opportunity to work. The restaurant I work at has slashed hours dramatically, to the point that they gave us a $3 raise (making a whopping $16 now!) but going from 30 hrs a week to 10 has me a little scared. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely hate my job, but it’s weird that I need it and filing for partial unemployment at the same time because of this mess here in the US.

if you’re staying home, who is with you?

I pretty much just come to my house to decontaminate after work, and head to my girlfriend’s right after. From there, I stay in the rest of the day, leave late at night and sleep at my place. It sucked in mid March right around the onset here because ya boi actually got sick and I was completely quarantined for 2 weeks and we were miserable. FaceTime was what kept us sane but now that we have a system in place, this makes it all the more tolerable.

are you a homebody?

I’m not as stir crazy as I thought I’d be in all honesty. I’m a bit of a homebody, but of course there are some public things that I really miss. Movies, shows, Disneyland. Stress free grocery shopping. LA county has a new mandate that masks are required to enter any store still operating and staggering entrances to help with the SD’ing. I definitely miss not having people yelling at me because my restaurant has gone cashless and people still fucking try. 

an event you were looking forward to that got canceled?

February through April is usually a busy time for Maria and I since we celebrate Valentine’s Day, her Birthday in March, and then our anniversary (today!) in April. I had wanted to go back this year to where we made it official, a botanical garden called Descanso, so I’m pretty sad about that. But just having her in my arms, knowing we’re in this together and riding out the storm brings me so much happiness and love, and that’s really what it’s all about. I’m so happy we managed to squeeze in a trip to Seattle in February, it seems like the pandemic was so far away then as opposed to how we are now...

what movies have you watched recently?

We’re creatures of comfort, so we’ve been watching a lot of horror and sci-fi haha. We just watched on Shudder a flick called The Room (not the Wiseau magnum opus) and for a small production, it was really good. We watched Bumblebee last night and honestly? fucking loved it. I grew up watching the original cartoon in the 90′s (which were just reruns from the 80′s, I’m not that old) and they really captured the essence of what I imagined as a kid what it would be like to have a real Autobot. PLUS ANGELA BASSETT VOICES A DECEPTICON AND LIKE??? A+ casting for that decision alone.

what shows are you watching?

We blew through Tiger King like everyone else lol. Problematic in more than a few ways, but still deeply riveting. Uhh, we also blazed through His Dark Materials on HBO (thank u susie) and right now we’re watching Cursed Films (a doc series about movies and their apparent curses on production) and that one has made some brilliant points about the concept so far.

what music are you listening to?

Little Dragon dropped a new album that’s been a godsend. My witch playlist is always a good time. Pretty much anything by Chelsea Wolfe. At this very moment, I’m listening to a playlist that Maria just made for our anniversary and crying! 

what are you reading?

I’m reading the Abhorsen trilogy by Garth Nix currently. I bought the set on a whim since I remember loving them when I was a teen. I’m about a third of the way in the second book Lirael and I just love the writing. It’s a very matter-of-fact approach to fantasy, magic, and necromancy but still has a very artistic way of interpreting the concepts as well. In non-fic, I’m still reading Sara and Tegan Quin’s shared autobiography High School. They were/are a deeply formative part of my life, and to see them write so candidly and with such vulnerability makes me appreciate their music and their trajectory as artists much more deeply than before.

what are you doing for self-care?

LMAO well Animal Crossing New Horizons could not have come a better time. Maria and I are really invested in our island, and seeing just how creative people have been on the platform has really inspired us. It’s honestly such a break from the literal shit storm that rages on. Reading again has been something I told myself to do. Maria and I have been cooking together pretty much daily, as well as doing activities like Lego sets, little DIY arts and crafts (we made candles the other day!) and trying to maintain a decent sleep schedule. Couple of things I really want/need to get back into is exercising and drawing. I think next week sounds good. <3

@amor-intellectualis @oneeyedfool, you’re up!

and anyone else who wants to, obvi.

#about me #social distancing #thank u bunny for tagging me #maybe this will kickstart the writing brain

[whimsiesofanerdgirl]

Choose Your Own Adventure | Spooky Edition

October is here and you know what that means…GIMMEH ALL THE SPOOKY BOOKS!!!

We all know that Fall is THE season for reading, I don’t make up the rules. I just go with it.

It’s the first official month of coziness, hoodies, the best smelling candles, leaves changing, watching scary movies, and reading all those atmospheric books you’ve been saving up for the best time of the year! :)

I thought it would be fun to make a list of different spooky books depending on your preference so I categorized them because I like organizing book lists. I should have a plaque for it. Seriously.

So read on to get scary, spooky, and paranormal recommended reads. Then go get yourself the book and hunker down under a fluffy blanket and read to your heart’s content. <3

GHOSTS, HAUNTINGS, & THE DEAD

The Mediator series by Meg Cabot

Synopsis:

Suze is a mediator -- a liaison between the living and the dead. In other words, she sees dead people. And they won't leave her alone until she helps them resolve their unfinished business with the living. But Jesse, the hot ghost haunting her bedroom, doesn't seem to need her help. Which is a relief, because Suze has just moved to sunny California and plans to start fresh, with trips to the mall instead of the cemetery, and surfing instead of spectral visitations.

But the very first day at her new school, Suze realizes it's not that easy. There's a ghost with revenge on her mind ... and Suze happens to be in the way.

I loved reading these when I was in high school, but I still need to finish reading them all. It’s an oldie and a goodie! Plus, Suze has a good looking ghost named Jesse haunting her bedroom so there’s that too. ;)

Soul Screamers series by Rachel Vincent

Synopsis:

She doesn't see dead people. She senses when someone near her is about to die. And when that happens, a force beyond her control compels her to scream bloody murder. Literally. Kaylee just wants to enjoy having caught the attention of the hottest guy in school. But a normal date is hard to come by when Nash seems to know more about her need to scream than she does. And when classmates start dropping dead for no apparent reason, only Kaylee knows who'll be next.

I heard so much hype about this series, mostly positive things, but have yet to actually read it off my TBR. The ratings range from 3.5+ to 4ish stars so it must be good!

The Fade by Demitria Lunetta

Synopsis:

We don't want to disappear. We want to be found. Something terrible happened in her basement. Haley can feel it. Four girls went missing several years ago, and the police never solved the case. But Haley know the missing girls were murdered. How else can she explain the hostile presence in her house? The ghostly girls need something from her. And unless Haley can figure out what they want...she might be next.

The Witch of Willow Hall by Hester Fox

Synopsis:

Two centuries after the Salem witch trials, there’s still one witch left in Massachusetts. But she doesn’t even know it. Take this as a warning: if you are not able or willing to control yourself, it will not only be you who suffers the consequences but those around you, as well. New Oldbury, 1821 In the wake of a scandal, the Montrose family and their three daughters—Catherine, Lydia, and Emeline—flee Boston for their new country home, Willow Hall. The estate seems sleepy and idyllic. But a subtle menace creeps into the atmosphere, remnants of a dark history that call to Lydia, and to the youngest, Emeline. All three daughters will be irrevocably changed by what follows, but none more than Lydia, who must draw on a power she never knew she possessed if she wants to protect those she loves. For Willow Hall’s secrets will rise, in the end…

Haunting Emma series by Lee Nichols

Synopsis:

When Emma Vaile's parents leave on mysterious business trip, it gives her the perfect excuse to be a rebellious teen. Throw some parties, get a tattoo (or maybe just a piercing), and enjoy the first few weeks of her junior year. Then her best friend stops talking to her, the cops crash her party, and Emma finds herself in the hands of a new guardian?her college-age "knight in J.Crew armor," Bennett Stern?and on a plane to his museum-like mansion in New England.

After enrolling at Thatcher Academy, Emma settles in by making friends with the popular legacy crowd. But she can't shake the strange visions that are haunting her. She has memories of Thatcher she can't explain, as if she's returning home to a place she's never been. Emma doesn't trust anyone anymore?except maybe Bennett. But he's about to reveal a ghostly secret to Emma. One that will explain the visions . . . and make Emma fear for her life.

The Soul Seekers series by Alyson Noel

Synopsis:

Until now, he's existed only in her dreams - but fate is about to bring them together. I shove through the crowd, knocking into girls and bouncing off boys, until one in particular catches me, steadies me. I feel so secure, so at home in his arms. I melt against his chest-lift my gaze to meet his. Gasping when I stare into a pair of icy blue eyes banded by brilliant flecks of gold that shine like kaleidoscopes, reflecting my image thousands of times. The boy from my dream. The one who died in my arms. Strange things are happening to Daire Santos. Crows mock her, glowing people stalk her, time stops without warning, and a beautiful boy with unearthly blue eyes haunts all her dreams. Fearing for her daughter’s sanity, Daire’s mother sends her to live with the grandmother she’s never met. A woman who recognizes the visions for what they truly are—the call to her destiny as a Soul Seeker—one who can navigate the worlds between the living and dead. There on the dusty plains of Enchantment, New Mexico, Daire sets out to harness her mystical powers. But it’s when she meets Dace, the boy from her dreams, that her whole world is shaken to its core. Now Daire is forced to discover if Dace is the one guy she's meant to be with...or if he’s allied with the enemy she's destined to destroy.

This is another series I need to finish! I got through book 3, but it definitely kept my attention. I haven’t read a lot of books about Native American rituals and I found it so fascinating in this series. Not to mention the cute boy and spirit walking!

HORROR

The Last ApprenticeI series by Joseph Delaney

Synopsis:

For years, Old Gregory has been the Spook for the county, ridding the local villages of evil. Now his time is coming to an end. But who will take over for him? Twenty-nine apprentices have tried—some floundered, some fled, some failed to stay alive. Only Thomas Ward is left. He's the last hope, the last apprentice.

I’ve never read this series though I have watched the movie which I enjoyed. From what I’ve heard from my hubby it’s a super freaky book series and to be honest the book covers confirm that for me!

The Archived series by Victoria Schwab

Synopsis:

Imagine a place where the dead rest on shelves like books. Each body has a story to tell, a life seen in pictures only Librarians can read. The dead are called Histories, and the vast realm in which they rest is the Archive. Da first brought Mackenzie Bishop here four years ago, when she was twelve years old, frightened but determined to prove herself. Now Da is dead, and Mac has grown into what he once was: a ruthless Keeper, tasked with stopping often violent Histories from waking up and getting out. Because of her job, she lies to the people she loves, and she knows fear for what it is: a useful tool for staying alive. Being a Keeper isn't just dangerous—it's a constant reminder of those Mac has lost, Da's death was hard enough, but now that her little brother is gone too, Mac starts to wonder about the boundary between living and dying, sleeping and waking. In the Archive, the dead must never be disturbed. And yet, someone is deliberately altering Histories, erasing essential chapters. Unless Mac can piece together what remains, the Archive itself may crumble and fall. In this haunting, richly imagined novel, Victoria Schwab reveals the thin lines between past and present, love and pain, trust and deceit, unbearable loss and hard-won redemption.

The strange thing about this series is that I never heard much about it online. I came across it randomly scouring Goodreads one day last year or so. Victoria Schwab is basically the dark fantasy queen in the online YA community which is partially the reason I put it on my TBR list. Recently it’s been in the news that we will be getting a TV series for it on the CW so boys and girls bump this up on your TBR so you don’t miss out!

Miss Peregrine’s Peculiar Children series by Ransom Riggs

Synopsis:

A mysterious island. An abandoned orphanage. A strange collection of very curious photographs. It all waits to be discovered in Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children, an unforgettable novel that mixes fiction and photography in a thrilling reading experience. As our story opens, a horrific family tragedy sets sixteen-year-old Jacob journeying to a remote island off the coast of Wales, where he discovers the crumbling ruins of Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children. As Jacob explores its abandoned bedrooms and hallways, it becomes clear that the children were more than just peculiar. They may have been dangerous. They may have been quarantined on a deserted island for good reason. And somehow-impossible though it seems-they may still be alive. A spine-tingling fantasy illustrated with haunting vintage photography, Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children will delight adults, teens, and anyone who relishes an adventure in the shadows.

If this book is anything like the movie it is FREAKY! I’d give this 5 out of 5 stars for the scary factor. You’ve been forewarned.

The Missing Season by Gillian French

Synopsis:

Whenever another kid goes missing in October, the Pender kids know what is really behind it: a horrific monster out in the marshes they have named the Mumbler. That’s what Clara’s new crew tells her when she moves to town: Bree and Sage, who take her under their wing; spirited Trace, who has taken the lead on this year’s Halloween prank war; and magnetic Kincaid, whose devil-may-care attitude and air of mystery are impossible for Clara to resist. Clara doesn’t actually believe in the Mumbler. But as Halloween gets closer and tensions build in the town, it’s hard to shake the feeling that there really is something dark and dangerous in Pender, lurking in the shadows, waiting to bring the stories to life.

His Hideous Heart by 13 YA Authors / Edited by Dahlia Adler

Synopsis:

Thirteen of YA’s most celebrated names reimagine Edgar Allan Poe’s most surprising, unsettling, and popular tales for a new generation. Edgar Allan Poe may be a hundred and fifty years beyond this world, but the themes of his beloved works have much in common with modern young adult fiction. Whether the stories are familiar to readers or discovered for the first time, readers will revel in Edgar Allan Poe’s classic tales, and how they’ve been brought to life in 13 unique and unforgettable ways. Contributors include Kendare Blake (reimagining “Metzengerstein”), Rin Chupeco (“The Murders in the Rue Morge”), Lamar Giles (“The Oval Portrait”), Tessa Gratton (“Annabel Lee”), Tiffany D. Jackson (“The Cask of Amontillado”), Stephanie Kuehn (“The Tell-Tale Heart”), Emily Lloyd-Jones (“The Purloined Letter”), Hillary Monahan (“The Masque of the Red Death”), Marieke Nijkamp (“Hop-Frog”), Caleb Roehrig (“The Pit and the Pendulum”), and Fran Wilde (“The Fall of the House of Usher”).

The Beast is an Animal by Peternelle van Arsdale

Synopsis:

A girl with a secret talent must save her village from the encroaching darkness in this haunting and deeply satisfying tale. Alys was seven when the soul eaters came to her village. These soul eaters, twin sisters who were abandoned by their father and slowly morphed into something not quite human, devour human souls. Alys, and all the other children, were spared—and they were sent to live in a neighboring village. There the devout people created a strict world where good and evil are as fundamental as the nursery rhymes children sing. Fear of the soul eaters—and of the Beast they believe guides them—rule village life. But the Beast is not what they think it is. And neither is Alys. Inside, Alys feels connected to the soul eaters, and maybe even to the Beast itself. As she grows from a child to a teenager, she longs for the freedom of the forest. And she has a gift she can tell no one, for fear they will call her a witch. When disaster strikes, Alys finds herself on a journey to heal herself and her world. A journey that will take her through the darkest parts of the forest, where danger threatens her from the outside—and from within her own heart and soul.

This has probably been one of the creepiest books I’ve ever read, but I’ve also never read Stephen King soooo take that however you’d like. Might want to read this one in the day time to be on the safe side.

VAMPIRES

The Beautiful by Renee Ahdieh

Synopsis:

In 1872, New Orleans is a city ruled by the dead. But to seventeen-year-old Celine Rousseau, New Orleans provides her a refuge after she's forced to flee her life as a dressmaker in Paris. Taken in by the sisters of the Ursuline convent along with six other girls, Celine quickly becomes enamored with the vibrant city from the music to the food to the soirées and—especially—to the danger. She soon becomes embroiled in the city's glitzy underworld, known as La Cour des Lions, after catching the eye of the group's leader, the enigmatic Sébastien Saint Germain. When the body of one of the girls from the convent is found in the lair of La Cour des Lions, Celine battles her attraction to him and suspicions about Sébastien's guilt along with the shame of her own horrible secret. When more bodies are discovered, each crime more gruesome than the last, Celine and New Orleans become gripped by the terror of a serial killer on the loose—one Celine is sure has set her in his sights . . . and who may even be the young man who has stolen her heart. As the murders continue to go unsolved, Celine takes matters into her own hands and soon uncovers something even more shocking: an age-old feud from the darkest creatures of the underworld reveals a truth about Celine she always suspected simmered just beneath the surface. At once a sultry romance and a thrilling murder mystery, master storyteller Renée Ahdieh embarks on her most potent fantasy series yet: The Beautiful.

There has been soooo much hype around this one and yes, it’s on my TBR. If you’re into Vampire Diaries this sounds like a great read for you!

Blue Bloods series by Melissa de la Cruz

Synopsis:

When the Mayflower set sail in 1620, it carried on board the men and women who would shape America: Miles Standish; John Alden; Constance Hopkins. But some among the Pilgrims were not pure of heart; they were not escaping religious persecution. Indeed, they were not even human. They were vampires. The vampires assimilated quickly into the New World. Rising to levels of enormous power, wealth, and influence, they were the celebrated blue bloods of American society. The Blue Bloods vowed that their immortal status would remain a closely guarded secret. And they kept that secret for centuries. But now, in New York City, the secret is seeping out. Schuyler Van Alen is a sophomore at a prestigious private school. She prefers baggy, vintage clothes instead of the Prada and pearls worn by her classmates, and she lives with her reclusive grandmother in a dilapated mansion. Schuyler is a loner...and happy that way. Suddenly, when she turns fifteen, there is a visible mosaic of blue veins on her arm. She starts to crave raw food and she is having flashbacks to ancient times. Then a popular girl from her school is found dead... drained of all her blood. Schuyler doesn't know what to think, but she wants to find out the secrets the Blue Bloods are keeping. But is she herself in danger?

I remember reading this yeeears ago when it first came out and now all I can think of is Gossip Girl, but with vampires.

Sunshine by Robin McKinley

Synopsis:

There had not been any trouble out at the lake in years. Sunshine just needed a spot where she could be alone with her thoughts for a minute. But then the vampires found her . . . Now, chained and imprisoned in a once-beautiful decaying mansion, alone but for the vampire, Constantine, shackled next to her, Sunshine realizes that she must call on her own hidden strength if she is to survive. But Constantine is not what she expected of a vampire, and soon Sunshine discovers that it is he who needs her, more than either of them know. Originally published as an adult novel, but now in YA for the first time, Sunshine is an alluring and captivating vampire story one that will ensnare fans of paranormals everywhere.

I loved this book! If you’re in the mood for something fresh in the vampire genre you should check it out. Plus, I HIGHLY recommend Robin McKinley in general. She has absolutely amazing fairy tale retellings!

Twilight series by Stephenie Meyer

Synopsis:

About three things I was absolutely positive. First, Edward was a vampire. Second, there was a part of him—and I didn't know how dominant that part might be—that thirsted for my blood. And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him. In the first book of the Twilight Saga, internationally bestselling author Stephenie Meyer introduces Bella Swan and Edward Cullen, a pair of star-crossed lovers whose forbidden relationship ripens against the backdrop of small-town suspicion and a mysterious coven of vampires. This is a love story with bite.

What kind of list would this be without the Twilight saga? If you haven’t heard of this before, have you been living under a rock? It’s a great story that pulls you in - you’ve got your historical fiction back story, folklore, vampires, romance, love triangle further in the series if you’re into that kinda thing (yes, I am).

Vampire Academy series by Richelle Mead

Synopsis:

Only a true best friend can protect you from your immortal enemies . . . Lissa Dragomir is a Moroi princess: a mortal vampire with a rare gift for harnessing the earth's magic. She must be protected at all times from Strigoi; the fiercest vampires - the ones who never die. The powerful blend of human and vampire blood that flows through Rose Hathaway, Lissa's best friend, makes her a dhampir. Rose is dedicated to a dangerous life of protecting Lissa from the Strigoi, who are hell-bent on making Lissa one of them. After two years of freedom, Rose and Lissa are caught and dragged back to St. Vladimir's Academy, a school for vampire royalty and their guardians-to-be, hidden in the deep forests of Montana. But inside the iron gates, life is even more fraught with danger . . . and the Strigoi are always close by. Rose and Lissa must navigate their dangerous world, confront the temptations of forbidden love, and never once let their guard down, lest the evil undead make Lissa one of them forever . . .

This was another vampire teenage sensation of its time. I have yet to get around to reading this (I’m looking at you TBR pile…and there’s this thing called new releases, sigh), but from what I’ve heard many people enjoyed it in the online community. It’s only right that we all get a taste of this!

House of Night series by P.C. Cast & Kristin Cast

Synopsis:

After a Vampire Tracker Marks her with a crescent moon on her forehead, 16-year-old Zoey Redbird enters the House of Night and learns that she is no average fledgling. She has been Marked as special by the vampyre Goddess Nyx and has affinities for all five elements: Air, Fire Water, Earth and Spirit. But she is not the only fledgling at the House of Night with special powers. When she discovers that the leader of the Dark Daughters, the school’s most elite club, is mis-using her Goddess-given gifts, Zoey must look deep within herself for the courage to embrace her destiny – with a little help from her new vampyre friends (or Nerd Herd, as Aphrodite calls them).

This is what I’d call another popular staple of the vampire era (which tbh I feel like vamps are coming back - YESH). I’d say these were as big as the Twilight series though they must not have gotten enough hype to get its own movie series or TV show. I loved the mix of different races and magic, it wasn’t just about vampires. If you’re feeling vampires and want different elements you should give it a shot.

SHAPESHIFTERS

The Mercy Thompson series by Patricia Briggs

Synopsis:

Mercedes Thompson, aka Mercy, is a talented Volkswagen mechanic living in the Tri-Cities area of Washington. She also happens to be a walker, a magical being with the power to shift into a coyote at will. Mercy's next-door neighbor is a werewolf. Her former boss is a gremlin. And she's fixing a bus for a vampire. This is the world of Mercy Thompson, one that looks a lot like ours but is populated by those things that go bump in the night. And Mercy's connection to those things is about to get her into some serious hot water...

This is an adult paranormal romance series, but my god…I LOOOOOVE IT WITH A PASSION! This is literally in my top 5 faves and for good reason. There are a multitude of creatures/races and I really love that aspect along with the fact that it’s an urban fantasy. Patricia Briggs writes so well that you’ll think that the story is based off real events and feel like you’re inside the story itself. It’s got werewolves, skinwalkers, vampires, fae, and other races as well. If you want to immerse yourself into the paranormal universe this is the series you’re looking for.

Shifters series by Rachel Vincent

Synopsis:

There are only eight breeding female werecats left... And I'm one of them. I look like an all-American grad student. But I am a werecat, a shape-shifter, and I live in two worlds. Despite reservations from my family and my Pride, I escaped the pressure to continue my species and carved out a normal life for myself. Until the night a Stray attacked. I'd been warned about Strays — werecats without a Pride, constantly on the lookout for someone like me: attractive, female, and fertile. I fought him off, but then learned two of my fellow tabbies had disappeared. This brush with danger was all my Pride needed to summon me back... for my own protection. Yeah, right. But I'm no meek kitty. I'll take on whatever — and whoever — I have to in order to find my friends. Watch out, Strays — 'cause I got claws, and I'm not afraid to use them...

Rachel Vincent is a phenomenal writer. She has written both YA and adult series though I haven’t read any of her YA books, I was entranced with her Shifters series. The way she writes her characters and you can really feel the intensity of the relationships between them. I highly recommend this series if you love the shapeshifter genre.

Nightshade series by Andrea Cremer

Synopsis:

Calla Tor has always known her destiny: After graduating from the Mountain School, she'll be the mate of sexy alpha wolf Ren Laroche and fight with him, side by side, ruling their pack and guarding sacred sites for the Keepers. But when she violates her masters' laws by saving a beautiful human boy out for a hike, Calla begins to question her fate, her existence, and the very essence of the world she has known. By following her heart, she might lose everything- including her own life. Is forbidden love worth the ultimate sacrifice? "A finely-wrought compelling tale of romance and treachery..." -Cynthia Leitich Smith (New York Times bestselling author of Eternal and Tantalize)

The Wolves of Mercy Falls series by Maggie Stiefvater

Synopsis:

For years, Grace has watched the wolves in the woods behind her house. One yellow-eyed wolf—her wolf—is a chilling presence she can't seem to live without. Meanwhile, Sam has lived two lives: In winter, the frozen woods, the protection of the pack, and the silent company of a fearless girl. In summer, a few precious months of being human… until the cold makes him shift back again. Now, Grace meets a yellow-eyed boy whose familiarity takes her breath away. It's her wolf. It has to be. But as winter nears, Sam must fight to stay human—or risk losing himself, and Grace, forever.

This isn’t your usual werewolf story. If I remember correctly, werewolves in this series have a genetic mutation that causes them to shift when the weather turns colder and appear to turn more wolf than man. This was a lovely trilogy of romance and if you read reviews on Goodreads you’ll find many others agree. The twist on shapeshifters and simple romantic relationship between Grace and Sam will have you rooting for them on page one.

Otherkin series by Nina Berry

Synopsis:

Dez is a good girl who does as she's told and tries not to be noticed. Then she rescues a boy from a cage, and he tells her secrets about herself. Now inside her burns a darkness that will transform her. Everything is about to change--and neither Caleb, nor the Otherkin, nor those who hunt them, are prepared for what Dez will unleash.

The Harbinger series by Jennifer L. Armentrout

Synopsis:

Eighteen-year-old Trinity Marrow may be going blind, but she can see and communicate with ghosts and spirits. Her unique gift is part of a secret so dangerous that she’s been in hiding for years in an isolated compound fiercely guarded by Wardens—gargoyle shape-shifters who protect humankind from demons. If the demons discover the truth about Trinity, they’ll devour her, flesh and bone, to enhance their own powers. When Wardens from another clan arrive with disturbing reports that something out there is killing both demons and Wardens, Trinity’s safe world implodes. Not the least because one of the outsiders is the most annoying and fascinating person she’s ever met. Zayne has secrets of his own that will upend her world yet again—but working together becomes imperative once demons breach the compound and Trinity’s secret comes to light. To save her family and maybe the world, she’ll have to put her trust in Zayne. But all bets are off as a supernatural war is unleashed…

Gargoyle shapeshifters? YES! COUNT ME IN! I loved the animated show Gargoyles. *smiles fondly of childhood memories* If you know of any other gargoyle shapeshifter stories please leave them down in the comments for me to check out!!!

WITCHES & WIZARDS

Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling

Synopsis:

Harry Potter's life is miserable. His parents are dead and he's stuck with his heartless relatives, who force him to live in a tiny closet under the stairs. But his fortune changes when he receives a letter that tells him the truth about himself: he's a wizard. A mysterious visitor rescues him from his relatives and takes him to his new home, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. After a lifetime of bottling up his magical powers, Harry finally feels like a normal kid. But even within the Wizarding community, he is special. He is the boy who lived: the only person to have ever survived a killing curse inflicted by the evil Lord Voldemort, who launched a brutal takeover of the Wizarding world, only to vanish after failing to kill Harry. Though Harry's first year at Hogwarts is the best of his life, not everything is perfect. There is a dangerous secret object hidden within the castle walls, and Harry believes it's his responsibility to prevent it from falling into evil hands. But doing so will bring him into contact with forces more terrifying than he ever could have imagined. Full of sympathetic characters, wildly imaginative situations, and countless exciting details, the first installment in the series assembles an unforgettable magical world and sets the stage for many high-stakes adventures to come.

What kind of monster would I be if I didn’t include the Harry Potter books!?!?!?! The PERFECT mood for Halloween, autumn, and the upcoming holidays… I love the fact that J.K. Rowling writes those holidays into the story because it adds just the right amount of extra magic into them, not to mention witches and wizards! I will always recommend these because they helped me get into reading when I was a young-in.

The Black Witch Chronicles series by Laurie Forest

Synopsis:

A new Black Witch will rise…her powers vast beyond imagining. Elloren Gardner is the granddaughter of the last prophesied Black Witch, Carnissa Gardner, who drove back the enemy forces and saved the Gardnerian people during the Realm War. But while she is the absolute spitting image of her famous grandmother, Elloren is utterly devoid of power in a society that prizes magical ability above all else. When she is granted the opportunity to pursue her lifelong dream of becoming an apothecary, Elloren joins her brothers at the prestigious Verpax University to embrace a destiny of her own, free from the shadow of her grandmother’s legacy. But she soon realizes that the university, which admits all manner of people—including the fire-wielding, winged Icarals, the sworn enemies of all Gardnerians—is a treacherous place for the granddaughter of the Black Witch. As evil looms on the horizon and the pressure to live up to her heritage builds, everything Elloren thought she knew will be challenged and torn away. Her best hope of survival may be among the most unlikely band of misfits…if only she can find the courage to trust those she’s been taught to hate and fear.

Practical Magic by Alice Hoffman

Synopsis:

The Owens sisters confront the challenges of life and love in this bewitching novel from New York Times bestselling author Alice Hoffman. For more than two hundred years, the Owens women have been blamed for everything that has gone wrong in their Massachusetts town. Gillian and Sally have endured that fate as well: as children, the sisters were forever outsiders, taunted, talked about, pointed at. Their elderly aunts almost seemed to encourage the whispers of witchery, with their musty house and their exotic concoctions and their crowd of black cats. But all Gillian and Sally wanted was to escape. One will do so by marrying, the other by running away. But the bonds they share will bring them back—almost as if by magic...

I’ve never read the book, but the movie is my absolute favorite to watch for Halloween (besides the obvious and popular Hocus Pocus). If you’re in the mood for some good old fashioned witchy fun go buy or loan it out from your local library!

The Wicked Deep by Shea Ernshaw

Synopsis:

Welcome to the cursed town of Sparrow… Where, two centuries ago, three sisters were sentenced to death for witchery. Stones were tied to their ankles and they were drowned in the deep waters surrounding the town. Now, for a brief time each summer, the sisters return, stealing the bodies of three weak-hearted girls so that they may seek their revenge, luring boys into the harbor and pulling them under. Like many locals, seventeen-year-old Penny Talbot has accepted the fate of the town. But this year, on the eve of the sisters’ return, a boy named Bo Carter arrives; unaware of the danger he has just stumbled into. Mistrust and lies spread quickly through the salty, rain-soaked streets. The townspeople turn against one another. Penny and Bo suspect each other of hiding secrets. And death comes swiftly to those who cannot resist the call of the sisters. But only Penny sees what others cannot. And she will be forced to choose: save Bo, or save herself.

Sweep series by Cate Tiernan

Synopsis:

Includes: Book 1 - Book of Shadows Book 2 - The Coven Book 3 - Blood Witch The first three Sweep books bound into one gorgeous edition at a fabulous price! Morgan Rowlands never thought she was anything other than a typical sixteen-year-old girl. But when she meets Cal, a captivatingly handsome coven leader, she makes a discover that turns her whole world upside down: she is a witch, descended from an ancient and powerful line. And so is Cal. Their connection is immediate and unbreakable; Cal teases out Morgan's power, her love, her magick. But Morgan discovers too soon that her powers are strong-- almost too powerful to control. And she begins to suspect that Cal may be keeping secrets from her . . . secrets that could destroy them both.

I NEED TO GET MY HANDS ON VOLUME TWO! I really enjoyed volume 1 because it took me back to my high school days and plus it enlightened me on the practice of Wicca. Some people tend to be turned off by the teenage drama, but that’s kind of a given when it comes to most high school related books. If you can get past that I think it has a lot of information on Wiccan spirituality if you’re interested in learning more or to dip your toes in.

Wicked series by Nancy Holder and Debbie Viguie

Synopsis:

Complete text of Witch and Curse in a single volume. Holly Cathers's world shatters when her parents are killed in a terrible accident. Wrenched from her home in San Francisco, she is sent to Seattle to live with her relatives, Aunt Marie-Claire and her twin cousins, Amanda and Nicole. In her new home, Holly's sorrow and grief soon give way to bewilderment at the strange incidents going on around her. Such as how any wish she whispers to her cat seems to come true. Or the way a friend is injured after a freak attack from a vicious falcon. And there's the undeniable, magnetic attraction to a boy Holly barely knows. Holly, Amanda, and Nicole are about to be launced into a dark legacy of witches, secrets, and alliances, where ancient magics yield dangerous results. The girls will assume their roles in an intergenerational feud beyond their wildest imaginations...and in doing so, will attempt to fulfill their shared destiny.

It’s been so long since I’ve read this series, but watch out! I feel like these books were a lot darker and heavier than your average YA witch book.

ZOMBIES

Dread Nation series by Justina Ireland

Synopsis:

Jane McKeene was born two days before the dead began to walk the battlefields of Gettysburg and Chancellorsville—derailing the War Between the States and changing America forever. In this new nation, safety for all depends on the work of a few, and laws like the Native and Negro Reeducation Act require certain children attend combat schools to learn to put down the dead. But there are also opportunities—and Jane is studying to become an Attendant, trained in both weaponry and etiquette to protect the well-to-do. It’s a chance for a better life for Negro girls like Jane. After all, not even being the daughter of a wealthy white Southern woman could save her from society’s expectations. But that’s not a life Jane wants. Almost finished with her education at Miss Preston’s School of Combat in Baltimore, Jane is set on returning to her Kentucky home and doesn’t pay much mind to the politics of the eastern cities, with their talk of returning America to the glory of its days before the dead rose. But when families around Baltimore County begin to go missing, Jane is caught in the middle of a conspiracy, one that finds her in a desperate fight for her life against some powerful enemies. And the restless dead, it would seem, are the least of her problems.

Zombies and the historical reimagining of the Civil War. What more could you want? Also, why haven’t I read this one yet!?! I completely forgot about this being on my TBR and then remembered when making this list. *makes a mental note*

Rot & Ruin series by Jonathan Maberry

Synopsis:

In the zombie-infested, post-apocalyptic America where Benny Imura lives, every teenager must find a job by the time they turn fifteen or get their rations cut in half. Benny doesn't want to apprentice as a zombie hunter with his boring older brother Tom, but he has no choice. He expects a tedious job whacking zoms for cash, but what he gets is a vocation that will teach him what it means to be human.

Something Strange and Deadly series by Susan Dennard

Synopsis:

There's something strange and deadly loose in Philadelphia. . . . Eleanor Fitt has a lot to worry about. Her brother has gone missing, her family has fallen on hard times, and her mother is determined to marry her off to any rich young man who walks by. But this is nothing compared to what she's just read in the newspaper: The Dead are rising in Philadelphia. And then, in a frightening attack, a zombie delivers a letter to Eleanor . . . from her brother. Whoever is controlling the Dead army has taken her brother as well. If Eleanor is going to find him, she'll have to venture into the lab of the notorious Spirit-Hunters, who protect the city from supernatural forces. But as Eleanor spends more time with the Spirit-Hunters, including the maddeningly stubborn yet handsome Daniel, the situation becomes dire. And now, not only is her reputation on the line, but her very life may hang in the balance.

I just…UGH, this series hit me in the FEELS! OKAY!?! These books had me coming back for more and I found myself devastated when I finished the trilogy. T_T But please read them! This story deserves to be heard!

The Forest of Hands and Teeth series by Carrie Ryan

Synopsis:

In Mary's world there are simple truths. The Sisterhood always knows best. The Guardians will protect and serve. The Unconsecrated will never relent. And you must always mind the fence that surrounds the village; the fence that protects the village from the Forest of Hands and Teeth. But, slowly, Mary’s truths are failing her. She’s learning things she never wanted to know about the Sisterhood and its secrets, and the Guardians and their power, and about the Unconsecrated and their relentlessness. When the fence is breached and her world is thrown into chaos, she must choose between her village and her future—between the one she loves and the one who loves her. And she must face the truth about the Forest of Hands and Teeth. Could there be life outside a world surrounded by so much death?

The Hollows series by Amanda Hocking

Synopsis:

This is the way the world ends - not with a bang or a whimper, but with zombies breaking down the back door. Nineteen-year-old Remy King is on a mission to get across the wasteland left of America, and nothing will stand in her way - not violent marauders, a spoiled rock star, or an army of flesh-eating zombies.

Warm Bodies series by Isaac Marion

Synopsis:

Now a major motion picture from Summit Entertainment. R is having a no-life crisis—he is a zombie. He has no memories, no identity, and no pulse, but he is a little different from his fellow Dead. He may occasionally eat people, but he’d rather be riding abandoned airport escalators, listening to Sinatra in the cozy 747 he calls home, or collecting souvenirs from the ruins of civilization. And then he meets a girl. First as his captive, then his reluctant guest, Julie is a blast of living color in R’s gray landscape, and something inside him begins to bloom. He doesn't want to eat this girl—although she looks delicious—he wants to protect her. But their unlikely bond will cause ripples they can’t imagine, and their hopeless world won’t change without a fight.

A unique twist on the usual zombies take over the world trope. This is the story of a zombie who falls in love with a human. Can they make the relationship work?

DEMONS

Lady Helen series by Alison Goodman

Synopsis:

From the New York Times bestselling author of Eon and Eona; a Regency adventure series starring a stylish and intrepid Buffy-esque demon-hunter London, April 1812. On the eve of eighteen-year-old Lady Helen Wrexhall's presentation to the queen, one of her family's housemaids disappears-and Helen is drawn into the shadows of Regency London. There, she meets Lord Carlston, one of the few who can stop the perpetrators: a cabal of demons infiltrating every level of society. Dare she ask for his help, when his reputation is almost as black as his lingering eyes? And will her intelligence and headstrong curiosity wind up leading them into a death trap?

OMG. THIS IS THE BOOK SERIES I DIDN’T KNOW I NEEDED IN MY LIFE. I’ve always loved the rebellious girl in historical fiction trope and tbh this upped the goodness on so many levels. It kinda gives me Pride and Prejudice vibes, but with demons and demon hunting!

The Hearts We Sold by Emily Lloyd

Synopsis:

When Dee Moreno makes a deal with a demon—her heart in exchange for an escape from a disastrous home life—she finds the trade may have been more than she bargained for. And becoming “heartless” is only the beginning. What lies ahead is a nightmare far bigger, far more monstrous than anything she could have ever imagined. With reality turned on its head, Dee has only a group of other deal-making teens to keep her grounded, including the charming but secretive James Lancer. And as something grows between them amid an otherworldy ordeal, Dee begins to wonder: Can she give someone her heart when it’s no longer hers to give?

Another trope I love are bargains! How will the trade made between her and the demon backfire?

The Epic Crush of Genie Lo series by F.C. Yee

Synopsis:

Genie Lo is one among droves of Ivy-hopeful overachievers in her sleepy Bay Area suburb. You know, the type who wins. When she’s not crushing it at volleyball or hitting the books, Genie is typically working on how to crack the elusive Harvard entry code. But when her hometown comes under siege from hellspawn straight out of Chinese folklore, her priorities are dramatically rearranged. Enter Quentin Sun, a mysterious new kid in class who becomes Genie’s self-appointed guide to battling demons. While Genie knows Quentin only as an attractive transfer student with an oddly formal command of the English language, in another reality he is Sun Wukong, the mythological Monkey King incarnate—right down to the furry tale and penchant for peaches. Suddenly, acing the SATs is the least of Genie’s worries. The fates of her friends, family, and the entire Bay Area all depend on her summoning an inner power that Quentin assures her is strong enough to level the very gates of Heaven. But every second Genie spends tapping into the secret of her true nature is a second in which the lives of her loved ones hang in the balance.

The Mortal Instruments series by Cassandra Clare

Synopsis:

When fifteen-year-old Clary Fray heads out to the Pandemonium Club in New York City, she hardly expects to witness a murder― much less a murder committed by three teenagers covered with strange tattoos and brandishing bizarre weapons. Then the body disappears into thin air. It's hard to call the police when the murderers are invisible to everyone else and when there is nothing―not even a smear of blood―to show that a boy has died. Or was he a boy? This is Clary's first meeting with the Shadowhunters, warriors dedicated to ridding the earth of demons. It's also her first encounter with Jace, a Shadowhunter who looks a little like an angel and acts a lot like a jerk. Within twenty-four hours Clary is pulled into Jace's world with a vengeance when her mother disappears and Clary herself is attacked by a demon. But why would demons be interested in ordinary mundanes like Clary and her mother? And how did Clary suddenly get the Sight? The Shadowhunters would like to know...

It’s nice to read this series since you can actually watch it as a movie or the TV series. I’ve heard pros and cons to the movie/TV adaptations, but I’ve heard so many great things about the books. I only ever read the first book and never got around to reading the rest. My sister and her husband enjoyed the heck out of them so much that he proposed to her by putting the ring in the book. *SQUEEE*

Daughter of Smoke and Bone series by Laini Taylor

Synopsis:

Around the world, black hand prints are appearing on doorways, scorched there by winged strangers who have crept through a slit in the sky. In a dark and dusty shop, a devil’s supply of human teeth grows dangerously low. And in the tangled lanes of Prague, a young art student is about to be caught up in a brutal otherworldly war. Meet Karou. She fills her sketchbooks with monsters that may or may not be real, she’s prone to disappearing on mysterious "errands", she speaks many languages - not all of them human - and her bright blue hair actually grows out of her head that color. Who is she? That is the question that haunts her, and she’s about to find out. When beautiful, haunted Akiva fixes fiery eyes on her in an alley in Marrakesh, the result is blood and starlight, secrets unveiled, and a star-crossed love whose roots drink deep of a violent past. But will Karou live to regret learning the truth about herself?

Another book I’ve heard a lot of hype around and have yet to read. I REALLY NEED TO GET AROUND TO READING THESE because they sound like they’re right up my alley!

Kingdom on Fire series by Jessica Cluess

Synopsis:

I am Henrietta Howel. The first female sorcerer. The prophesied one. Or am I? Henrietta Howel can burst into flames. When she is brought to London to train with Her Majesty's sorcerers, she meets her fellow sorcerer trainees, young men eager to test her powers and her heart. One will challenge her. One will fight for her. One will betray her. As Henrietta discovers the secrets hiding behind the glamour of sorcerer life, she begins to doubt that she's the true prophesied one. With battle looming, how much will she risk to save the city--and the one she loves?

DARK FAE

The Hazel Wood series by Melissa Albert

Synopsis:

Seventeen-year-old Alice and her mother have spent most of Alice’s life on the road, always a step ahead of the uncanny bad luck biting at their heels. But when Alice’s grandmother, the reclusive author of a cult-classic book of pitch-dark fairy tales, dies alone on her estate, the Hazel Wood, Alice learns how bad her luck can really get: her mother is stolen away―by a figure who claims to come from the Hinterland, the cruel supernatural world where her grandmother's stories are set. Alice's only lead is the message her mother left behind: “Stay away from the Hazel Wood.” Alice has long steered clear of her grandmother’s cultish fans. But now she has no choice but to ally with classmate Ellery Finch, a Hinterland superfan who may have his own reasons for wanting to help her. To retrieve her mother, Alice must venture first to the Hazel Wood, then into the world where her grandmother's tales began―and where she might find out how her own story went so wrong.

I read an e-galley of this before it had published and all I could think was this was creepy and different from the typical fae story. It wasn’t just about a manipulative fae race, the woods moved and shifted and left you disoriented which explains why most don’t come back at all…

Song of the Dryad by Natalia Leigh

Synopsis:

Seventeen-year-old Charlotte Barclay is still haunted by an encounter she had eight years ago – a run-in with a fairy beast that had eyes like witchlight and a taste for flesh. Charlotte has avoided the Greenwood ever since, pretending fairies don’t exist and choosing instead to focus her energies on graduating from high school and perfecting her audition piece for the Bellini Institute. However, everything changes when her mom goes missing, kidnapped by the fairies that haunt the forest behind Charlotte’s home. When Charlotte’s search for her mom leads her into the fairy realm, she discovers that she hails from a line of Shrine Keepers – humans tasked with maintaining ancient fairy shrines. Charlotte’s family has failed their duties to the fae, and now she has no choice but to strike a deal with the dryad, an ancient and powerful tree nymph responsible for her mom’s disappearance. But the dryad only gives her a month to complete her task: retrieve five stolen fairy stones and return them to the ancient fairy shrine. If she doesn’t return the stones in time, the dryad has threatened to imprison another of Charlotte’s loved ones. Charlotte dives into a world as magical as it is deadly, coming face-to-face with fairy creatures that never get mentioned in the story books – including the creature that haunts her dreams. She must embrace her task and conquer her fears, or else she’ll never see her mom again.

This newer fae novel has a rating of 4+ on Goodreads and is a great edition to your urban fantasy collection if you’re trying to read more Indie books.

House of Furies by Madeleine Roux

Synopsis:

After escaping a harsh school where punishment was the lesson of the day, seventeen-year-old Louisa Ditton is thrilled to find employment as a maid at a boarding house. But soon after her arrival at Coldthistle House, Louisa begins to realize that the house’s mysterious owner, Mr. Morningside, is providing much more than lodging for his guests. Far from a place of rest, the house is a place of judgment, and Mr. Morningside and his unusual staff are meant to execute their own justice on those who are past being saved. Louisa begins to fear for a young man named Lee who is not like the other guests. He is charismatic and kind, and Louisa knows that it may be up to her to save him from an untimely judgment. But in this house of distortions and lies, how can Louisa be sure whom to trust?

For some odd reason I didn’t see a lot of hype around these series and then all of a sudden I started to hear about it a little more online. When I first came across it on Goodreads what intrigued me most was the idea of this Mr. Morningside taking it upon himself to deliver justice to evil and sinful guests. And I had been on the fence a little while whether to read it or not until I finally learned from someone in the reviews that had mentioned fae being in it. Pretty much anything fae you can count me in to reading it. I can never get enough! Thanks to Wunderkind PR who provided the trilogy to me to read and talk about it with you all I am grateful to have added it to my personal fae collection! It definitely had a different twist to the usual fae stories I’ve read in the past, being as it is a historical fiction and a mystery with a touch of horror. I recommend this to anyone else who has a similar taste for fae reads and is in the mood for a series that brings something new to the genre!

Never-Contented Things by Sarah Porter

Synopsis:

Seductive. Cruel. Bored. Be wary of… Prince and his fairy courtiers are staggeringly beautiful, unrelentingly cruel, and exhausted by the tedium of the centuries ― until they meet foster-siblings Josh and Ksenia. Drawn in by their vivid emotions, undying love for each other, and passion for life, Prince will stop at nothing to possess them. First seduced and then entrapped by the fairies, Josh and Ksenia learn that the fairies' otherworldly gifts come at a terrible price ― and they must risk everything in order to reclaim their freedom.

Another great sounding edition to add to your faerie TBR list! *makes another reminder that I need to read this one still* Based on the cover I can assume this is another horror fae mix.

The Falconer series by Elizabeth May

Synopsis:

One girl's nightmare is this girl's faery tale She's a stunner. Edinburgh, 1844. Eighteen-year-old Lady Aileana Kameron, the only daughter of the Marquess of Douglas, has everything a girl could dream of: brains, charm, wealth, a title—and drop-dead beauty. She's a liar. But Aileana only looks the part of an aristocratic young lady. she's leading a double life: She has a rare ability to sense the sìthíchean—the faery race obsessed with slaughtering humans—and, with the aid of a mysterious mentor, has spent the year since her mother died learning how to kill them. She's a murderer. Now Aileana is dedicated to slaying the fae before they take innocent lives. With her knack for inventing ingenious tools and weapons—from flying machines to detonators to lightning pistols—ruthless Aileana has one goal: Destroy the faery who destroyed her mother. She's a Falconer. The last in a line of female warriors born with a gift for hunting and killing the fae, Aileana is the sole hope of preventing a powerful faery population from massacring all of humanity. Suddenly, her quest is a lot more complicated. She still longs to avenge her mother's murder—but she'll have to save the world first. The first volume of a trilogy from an exciting new voice in young adult fantasy, this electrifying thriller combines romance and action, steampunk technology and Scottish lore in a deliciously addictive read.

This was the first fae book I ever picked up that was mixed in with historical fiction and tbh it has made me spoiled! Now I feel the lack of historical fae genre and Elizabeth May is to blame. Not only is this a historical fiction, but it has some steampunk flair to add to the fae mix.

Modern Faerie Tales series by Holly Black

Synopsis:

Welcome to the realm of very scary faeries! Sixteen-year-old Kaye is a modern nomad. Fierce and independent, she travels from city to city with her mother's rock band until an ominous attack forces Kaye back to her childhood home. There, amid the industrial, blue-collar New Jersey backdrop, Kaye soon finds herself an unwilling pawn in an ancient power struggle between two rival faerie kingdoms - a struggle that could very well mean her death.

If I remember correctly this was one of the first fae stories I ever picked up and I fell in love with them instantly! Holly Black is known as the “Faerie Queen” and for good reason. She’s able to weave beautifully poetic words and surreal worlds it’s as if you’re living and breathing them. I hope you pick these up if you’ve never read them and if you have, maybe it’s time for a reread!

I hope you enjoyed this post as much as I did putting it together! Are there any books you think you’ll pick up soon? Let me know in the comments of any good ones I missed! :)

Until next time!

xoxo Whimsies of a Nerd Girl

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#Fall #Fall Reads #Halloween #Halloween Reads #Spooky Reads #Horror #Paranormal

[noctem-novelle]

Top 5 Most Anticipated YA Releases (Summer 2019)

It’s officially summer! I don’t know about you, but I hear the beach calling my name, and every beach goer needs a good book. Here are five of my most anticipated summer releases, in order of publication date:

Title: Technically, You Started It Author: Lana Wood Johnson Genre: YA Contemporary Publisher: Scholastic Press Pub Date: 25 June 2019

This one was recommended to me by a friend (hi, Paige!) and I snagged an advance copy at BookCon. I can’t wait to start reading it!

“When a guy named Martin Nathaniel Munroe II texts you, it should be obvious who you’re talking to. Except there’s two of them (it’s a long story), and Haley thinks she’s talking to the one she doesn’t hate.

A question about a class project rapidly evolves into an all-consuming conversation. Haley finds that Martin is actually willing to listen to her weird facts and unusual obsessions, and Martin feels like Haley is the first person to really see who he is. Haley and Martin might be too awkward to hang out in real life, but over text, they’re becoming addicted to each other.

There’s just one problem: Haley doesn’t know who Martin is. And Martin doesn’t know that Haley doesn’t know. But they better figure it out fast before their meet-cute becomes an epic meet-disaster …”

Title: The Best Lies Author: Sarah Lyu Genre: YA Mystery Publisher: Simon Pulse (Simon & Schuster) Pub Date: 2 July 2019

I looooooove a good thriller. The twistier, the better. While it’s been compared to Gone Girl, this story of obsession reminds me of Malinda Lo’s A Line in the Dark, which was incredible. I have high hopes for this one.

“Remy Tsai used to know how her story would turn out. But now, she doesn’t even know what tomorrow will look like.

She was happy once. Remy had her boyfriend Jack, and Elise, her best friend—her soulmate—who understood her better than anyone else in the world.

But now Jack is dead, shot through the chest—

And it was Elise who pulled the trigger.

Was it self-defense? Or something deeper, darker than anything Remy could have imagined? As the police investigate, Remy does the same, sifting through her own memories, looking for a scrap of truth that could save the friendship that means everything to her.

Told in alternating timelines, Thelma and Louise meets Gone Girl in this twisted psychological thriller about the dark side of obsessive friendship.”

Title: Wilder Girls Author: Rory Power Genre: YA Horror, LGBT Publisher: Delacorte Press (Penguin Random House) Pub Date: 9 July 2019

Wow. Wow wow wow. This debut was amazing. Power managed to not only create the perfect eerie setting, but also gave us a wild piece of eco-fiction. People “evolving” by mutating and becoming feral? Yes, please.

“It’s been eighteen months since the Raxter School for Girls was put under quarantine. Since the Tox hit and pulled Hetty’s life out from under her.

It started slow. First the teachers died one by one. Then it began to infect the students, turning their bodies strange and foreign. Now, cut off from the rest of the world and left to fend for themselves on their island home, the girls don’t dare wander outside the school’s fence, where the Tox has made the woods wild and dangerous. They wait for the cure they were promised as the Tox seeps into everything.

But when Byatt goes missing, Hetty will do anything to find her, even if it means breaking quarantine and braving the horrors that lie beyond the fence. And when she does, Hetty learns that there’s more to their story, to their life at Raxter, than she could have ever thought true.”

Title: Soul of Stars (Heart of Iron: Book 2) Author: Ashley Poston Genre: YA SciFi Publisher: Balzer + Bray (HarperCollins) Pub Date: 23 July 2019

This series is like Six of Crows in space. It’s also a scifi re-telling of Anastasia with POC and queer representation. Honestly, if you aren’t sold already, please sort out your priorities.

“Once, Ana was an orphaned space outlaw. Then she was the Empress of the Iron Kingdom. Now, thought dead by most of the galaxy after she escaped from the dark AI program called the HIVE, Ana is desperate for a way to save Di from the HIVE’s evil clutches and take back her kingdom.

Ana’s only option is to find Starbright, the one person who has hacked into the HIVE and lived to tell the tale. But when Ana’s desperation costs the crew of the Dossier a terrible price, Ana and her friends are sent spiraling through the most perilous reaches of the Iron Kingdom to stop the true arbiter of evil in her world: an ancient world-ending deity called the Great Dark.

Their journey will take the sharp-witted pilot, Jax, to the home he never wanted to return to, and the dangerous fate he left behind. And when Robb finds out who Jax really is, he must contend with his own feelings for the boy he barely knows, and whether he truly belongs with this group of outcasts.

When facing the worst odds, can Ana and her crew of misfits find a way to stop the Great Dark once and for all?”

Title: The Downstairs Girl Author: Stacey Lee Genre: YA Historical Fiction Publisher: Putnam (Penguin Random House) Pub Date: 18 August 2019

Historical fiction about a Chinese-American girl in the post-Reconstruction era south? Count me in. I love that the publishing industry is finally giving Asian authors and characters the attention they deserve.

“By day, seventeen-year-old Jo Kuan works as a lady’s maid for the cruel daughter of one of the wealthiest men in Atlanta. But by night, Jo moonlights as the pseudonymous author of a newspaper advice column for the genteel Southern lady, “Dear Miss Sweetie.” When her column becomes wildly popular, she uses the power of the pen to address some of society’s ills, but she’s not prepared for the backlash that follows when her column challenges fixed ideas about race and gender.

While her opponents clamor to uncover the secret identity of Miss Sweetie, a mysterious letter sets Jo off on a search for her own past and the parents who abandoned her as a baby. But when her efforts put her in the crosshairs of Atlanta’s most notorious criminal, Jo must decide whether she, a girl used to living in the shadows, is ready to step into the light.”

*All summaries are copied from Goodreads.

#books #bookish #bookworm #book blog #book blogger #booklr #bookstagram #book nerd #book lover #bibliophile #bookshelf #book photography #read #reading #read more #instareads #instabooks #vscoreads #vscobooks #vscobook #instabook #ya books #ya novels #ya lit #read ya #writings #book list

[missjanetcid]

Clean Slate

Here I am, laying cozy in my bed with my wonderful big, fluffy duvet on top of me (my blanky). 

I’ve been feeling this “Clean Slate” start happening back in mid-February of this year (2020). Who know that the world was also joining me with a Clean Slate. 

Covid19 has taken place until the end of July, officially here in LA. & boy, do I tell ya... it’s pretty real out here with them face masks. I now carry one in my car & purse before heading out because literally, I mean literally, everywhere you go that’s based in LA, WILL NOT let you in without a mask. 

Anywho - the real reason I am typing this is, because lucky for you guys, I am officially documenting how I am losing 35lbs of fat & keeping it off for good. 

But before I begin, 

Let me tell you this: I gained 15 lbs in 1.5 weeks. 

How?

I didn’t stop eating. I gorged until i’d get sick, thinking “I know how to lose weight, done it before - do it again! & screw it, it’s quarantine.....:)”

My body starting swelling, my vision was getting blurred, my mind was foggy.. finally, this past Sunday, I lost all control. I fell into the hole.. of binge eating relapse. & I wen’t full out, rock bottom. And sat there. & faced everything that I just did to myself; mind, body & soul. It was a time-out. The only good thing I did during this purge was celery juice everyday! Which is honestly why I think I haven’t exploded yet. Like seriously...

Coming Monday, I chose to do a juice cleanse; because caloric wise, I already had ample. Technically my body doesn’t need real physical food for at least 2-3 days.. because I have enough energy (aka carbs {macronutrient} & calories {protein, fat & carbs}).

I began Monday morning with a fresh glass of celery juice & walked/meditated around my neighborhood. Then I made my favorite fat-burning detox drink that I found 5 years ago & use till this day: Grapefruit, Cucumber & Oranges. 

Later, after being on my feet all day, I drank a Whey Protein Shake by 1UP Nutrition, mixed with a quarter cup of raw goats milk & water. This way, I was able to retain muscle mass without eating food. & the Goat’s Milk macronutrient content is Fat, Protein & no carbs.. which is like amazing. Because currently my goal is to burn fat, maintain as much muscle mass as possible & get lean.. with the ultimate goal of being shredded (with the hopes of quarantine being over by then -- Hello mansion & rooftop pool parties). In order to achieve my goal I have to do my best to drink as much protein & fat as possible, with very little carbs. Carbohydrates are energy, & if not being used, will store in the body as fat, as a survival mechanism to be used later if the body were to be malnourished. 

I also sipped on regular water throughout the day. By 8pm I had so much energy. It was nuts, but by 10pm I was so hungry. So I made 2 scrambled eggs. (Fat, protein & a little bit of carbs) as a bedtime snack. But I woke up in the middle of the night like a fatty - gorged down two protein bars that are very high in carbs & are not even mine.. they were my roommates.. and I ate them... including her pineapple & papaya dried fruit..the whole fricken bag. Gone. Scarffed down my throat. Swalled. Gulp.

Today, I began my day drinking Zhi Cell & a raw egg yolk.

Ran 1 mile to pick up coffee for my morning walk & omg. Was I dying. Today I felt all the weight on me - a feeling I haven’t had in YEARS. Lately I have also noticed that my circulation isn’t the greatest. My toes and fingertips become easily numb and my knees hurt.. 

I ordered a Rose Coffee; Light Cream, Sweet Sativia & Hot. 

It was so gross. 

If I had it cold, on the rocks, it would have tasted fine. Or adding Heavy Cream since it was hot.. but I am too cheap to order iced coffee (did you know you get way more coffee if you always get it hot?) & I am currently too fat for indulgence of silky, beautiful Heavy Cream. Ugh, being skinny always feels so much better than what anything can ever taste like!

Drank water, had my celery juice. 

Insta-Carted a quarter of Wild Caught Salmon because A) I am about to begin menstruating; Salmon has all the nutrients & minerals a females body loses & must replenish in order to have a smooth week.

 & B) it’s high in Protein & Fat, low carbs. 

Since I still had an egg-white left, I cooked it scrambled to pair with the Salmon. Yummy! 

After I realized I ran out of celery & already made an instacart order, I panicked because now I had to come up with another $35 worth of groceries in order for Insta-Cart to deliver... Which I needed because my car isn’t working atm & going to grocery stores is like waiting in line to age 50 years. 

To make myself feel better & take the edge off, I dove into one of the protein bars that my roommate has (I did replace the two that I ate last night.. but I also got myself ONE just because I knew I would want to eat hers -- there’s something about me wanting to eat other’s people food btw...its a little disturbing... or is it just me?) 

Except... when I took the bite of the bar... I was full. It didn’t hit like it generally does. I was content. 

Then I went for a walk and filled an entire glass jar of celery juice, which I enjoyed on my walk. Afterwards, I continued sipping water through out the day. & prepared my juices for tomorrow. 

xx JLC

#fitnessjourney #health #fitness #covid19 #quarantine #selflove #mentalhealth #weightloss #organic #holistic

[supercalime]

House of Salt and Sorrows Commentary pt. 1

I’m back with commentaries no one asked for because I’m still in quarantine and I want to reach my Goodreads goal! So yeah, this book has been on my tbr since it launched and I’m so glad to finally start reading it! I do know a little of the plot from the official summary but nothing substantial. This shall be fun and spooky!

Chapter 1 to 5

- Oh we are already starting with a funeral. Cool. Learned the name of the deceased before the mc

- They all have such fancy princessy names! I like it

- Please don’t have the stepmom be evil! I know this is a fairytale retelling, but please don’t do this!

- This is kinda weird to say, but I really like the aesthetic in the mausoleum. The whole sea and celestial vibe of the book is so cool

- Ew! Dad married a younger woman! Who does he think he is? Leonardo DiCaprio?

- Morella only caring about her clothes when her stepdaughter just died? More likely than you think

- Btw my bet is that the dad is the murderer and there’s no curse. Let’s see if I’m right by the end of this

- Something to celebrate? She pregnant?

- Knew it

- No! Morella don’t! Let them mourn!

- I’m still hoping the stepmom bs is a red herring. I’m done with this trope

- A ya book portraying teenagers as they are. The worst, most obnoxious creatures until real life gets in the way and teaches you some hard truths

- Ghost sister?

- This is basically a who-done-it, so everyone is a suspect, but if Hanna is responsible I’ll rage quit. I love a mother figure and will be heart broken if she’s evil

- As someone who had to share a bed with my younger sister for a while, I can confirm Annaleigh’s feelings are completely valid

- Wait. They are eleven sisters. But this is a 12 dancing princesses retelling. So I guess morella is not having a son...

- Annaleigh has hangover eyes. I just had Capitu flashbacks (if you’re Brazilian u get it)

- I’m a sucker for “dressing up” scenes! I love the whole trying on clothes and pretty things

- Dancing shoes! Dancing shoes! Dancing shoes!

- Why is the fucking king haggling? He’s rich

- I’m guessing Fisher will be a love interest cause he’s a white attractive boy, so yeah

- The fuck is happening

- Did eulalie have a secret boyfriend? And what’s up with this blind guy

- The word corona was just used and I don’t know what to make of it. I’m still in quarantine and I hate it here

- Who’s Handsome stranger?

- The flirting was kinda cute ngl

- Jon snow up in here

- New theory: fisher was eulalie’s secret beau. I have nothing to back that up but I’ll roll with it until the truth comes out

#lety rambles #book commentary #house of salt and sorrows #erin a craig

[gleefail]

Glee Memories: 1x12 MATTRESS

A long, long time ago, as Glee was approaching graduation in Season 3, I found myself nostalgic with some rare free time on my hands. So I decided to rewatch the series from the beginning and jot down some memories, discrepancies that have arisen since, fave quotes, tally solos - all that good stuff, strictly for shits and giggles.

8 years later (eek!) and once more I find myself with an unexpected abundance of free time. With so many revisiting or being newly introduced to the show between binge watching during Quarantine and all the tragedy that has surrounded the show since it went off the air, I figured I’d finish what I started. And by finish, I mean go through the end of S3. Cause I truly cannot acknowledge what happened after that. Except for 5B.

Kicking this off by reposting the first 15 episodes I already went through. Enjoy!

1x12 MATTRESS Yearbook pictures. Ruh roh. I remember this ep. It ended sad for me. :(

Ken thinks he’s gonna drop 20 pounds in less than a week. Oh boy.

Remember that time Ken totes planned his and Emma’s wedding the same time as Sectionals so she couldn’t go, then pretended he didn’t, then Emma stood up for him when Will caught on? That was fun…douche Ken.

“Got myself a bit of an eyelift. And while they were in there I told em’ go ahead and yank out those tear ducts. Wasn’t usin’ em’.”

Is Sue right – do yams really draw the water out of the skin? Hmm…yam diet, eh?

“We have all felt the cold humiliation of a slushie in the face” Not yet, Kurt. But apparently you ALL will. Still double-checking that. Rachel, Finn, Quinn, Puck, Kurt, Mr. Schue.

“What’s a patriotic wedgie?” “It’s when they hoist you up the flagpole by your undies.” “Strangely it did make me feel more American.”

It is TERRIFYING, the fates of these kids in previous glee yearbook photos whose pictures were defaced. OMG.

“He barks at my mom.”

Alright. I gotta say it. It is totally not right or legal I’m sure for Figgins to ask for Glee to pay for their own photo. He’s saying that’s what a full page ad costs…but the school doesn’t pay a thousand dollars for each club’s picture. Shenanigans.

Okay. So I’m watching this post-Props/Nationals. And I’m pissed. Rachel just came storming into Figgins’ office to petition for a Glee yearbook photo. She says “As you may know, this is my first year in Glee Club” – THE FUCK?!?! So she wasn’t in Glee her freshman year?!?! So she started the same time as Tina, Artie, Kurt, and Mercedes?!?! So we DIDN’T miss a year of her ‘earning it’ more than anyone else around her? THE FUCK, Glee?! THE FUCK, I ASK YOU!

Hey, remember that time that Rachel joined every club possible? Hey, remember how 2 seasons later she’ll say she doesn’t have extracurriculars for her NYADA audition application? Hey, remember how in Props she says she’s involved in 6 clubs? WTF? #oops

Quinn wants her kids to look back on her yearbook pics and be proud. “Not the bastard one I’m carrying now…” Ha!

Quinn is gonna get in that yearbook photo for the Cheerios and back on that squad whether Sue Sylvester likes it or not. Quinn is braver than I’ll ever be.

Terri is so supportive. She just told Will to wear the tie for the Glee Club photo that’ll go best with the cool kids defacing of it.

“Oh great. Why don’t you take the food out of the refrigerator and give that to the kids?” hahaha. Overdramatic and exaggerating, but still funny.

Will is going behind Terri’s back to pay for the photo. Yup. That’s a strooooong marriage they got there…

Ok. Rachel just said if she is in one more club she would officially be the most involved student in the school. Yet she HAS to run for Senior Class President because she has nothing for her NYADA application and she is convinced she won’t get Maria…and even after she GETS Maria, she still doesn’t drop even though her ‘friend’ Kurt really needs it and really wants to be prez to make a difference while in the position. She is awful. They turned her into an AWFUL human being. That we’re no longer supposed to laugh at, but admire. And honestly so far in the series, she’s not so bad. So…lemme see if I can pinpoint in my rewatching when the decline of her character started…

The look Kurt has when he just gets up and walks away from Rachel’s GayLesbAl suggestion. Hi. Lar.I. Ous.

And Mercedes is chillin’ with Matt and Mike. I’m tellin’ ya, I thought she was like, a popular girl!

“I nominate Rachel.” “Second.” Kurtcedes love.

…two things: 1. I think Will uses Emma’s counseling services more than any student. Or all of them combined. 2. He does know she’s not a psychologist, right?

haha. Emma and Will are acknowledging how annoying Rachel is. It’s cruel, but..yes. Teachers do that.

As captain of the Glee Club, did Rachel (or Finn) ever have to do more than have the responsibility of this first yearbook photo? I know at times Finn tries to take on a leadership role but…it’s such a useless position.

:) Aw.Rachel went to Mercedes first to be co-captain. I like that. Maybe it’s cause I’m thinking of TroubleTones and how well and fairly she led them.

“Because I don’t wanna be in a picture with you, it’ll get defaced.” “No it won’t.” “Yes it will, I’ll be the one doing it.”

Rachel is saying that the football players and cheerleaders are only in Glee because of Finn. Hmmm….well, Quinn kinda but more cause of Rachel trying to steal him. We don’t know exactly why the football players joined but it was after they won that game and danced with Kurt and Mr. Schue…and wasn’t it Finn that didn’t choose Glee over football when all the rest of them did? Did I imagine that? No? Just checking.

Haha. Smile. I like this song. I had a friend who hated Glee because everyone loved it. He’s one of those “If everyone loves it it can’t possibly be because it’s good, it’s cause it’s a stupid fad” people – you know the type. He was into this girl and I knew she liked the show so I liked to tease him about how he probably watched it with her. I think he said this song was the first time he saw any of the show and he was confused. I remember I was like “oh, you saw like, the first time they did a song that made no sense in the moment at all. Like, it wasn’t used to further the story, it was out of context except the title of it and it wasn’t supposed to be a performance either. They never do that though. Watch it again.”. Wow. Thinking back on that now…this was the first moment that happened. And it ended up happening SO many more times.  Just…wow. Historic moment right there.

And still, this song is such an odd choice for learning to pose for a yearbook photo. It could’ve been cut completely. Why wasn’t it? It didn’t even bother to further the Finchel storyline either. It was cute and fun and I like the song and I’m glad they did it so I have it on my ipod for workouts, lol, but…unnecessary.

It annoys the crap outta me when they act like they’re sightreading sheet music on this show. No. You are not. And you do an awful job pretending like you are. Just stop.

Ooh, Brad’s getting his jam on, lol.

hahaha. Karofsky just asked how to spell loser. Really? Also, is he officially a football guy now instead of a hockey guy? Ok. Sure. Why not.

I always wonder how people act to a pre-recorded voice-over of inner monologue when there’s more than just “I’m sad” happening with their sub-text. How do they sync that up to the acting journey so well like in this moment that Rachel’s giving her self a pep talk in the mirror? It’s like magic to me, lol.

“I can cry on demand. It’s one of my many talents.”

“Aside from nudity and the exploitation of animals, I’ll pretty much do anything to break into the business.” It’s funny cause I saw Lea Michele topless in Spring Awakening prior to this.

Finn bitches about Glee bringing down his reputation, take three.

“Do you think I have a potato head?”

haha, I do love love love how Rachel shames Finn during this scene. Every time she says his name it’s like a bitch slap for bailing on the yearbook photo.

they’re reeeeeeal excited about selling mattresses. Wanky.

Oh, this brilliant brilliant script for the mattress commercial:                *sigh* “Ah me”                “What’s wrong?”             ��  “We just lost our jobs. At the factory. And we can’t get a good night’s                   sleep” (emphasis on ‘night’s’)

“We should perform.” “Perform the lines…as I wrote them.” I wonder if that was a shoutout/threat to this cast from RIB. Or how many times they’ve heard that if they ever bring up continuity etc. Just me?

Oh Jump. Ok. Let’s talk about this. Super fun number. Great vocals. Also the first time I realized AmberRiley is the shit. Except it took a couple people to make me realize it wasn’t just cause I love listening to her, it’s cause she’s a one of a kind, super rare talent. My one friend pointed out the actual notes she’s belting like it’s a fuckin’ hiccup. ‘Ain’t no thang. I’m Amber fuckin’ Riley. What? Can’t everybody belt that?’ That’s what I imagine she thinks when she pulls off shit like this. Also, one of my students ALWAYS requested this for warm-ups because “she’s so fucking amazing”. And despite the profanity, I was so proud of him for realizing that, even though he was a 16 year old popular-ish boy and she wasn’t the cheerleader or super popular hot chick on the show. And watching my students reacting to her in this and praising her. All of that combined made me go “how did I miss this? Normal people can’t sing that way.”

Will just found the pregnancy pad. Oh shit. Shit’s about to get real. Terri did tell a very convincing lie, without batting an eyelash about how it was just so she could try on clothes for the coming months. That says a lot.

This scene is good. To the point it makes me uncomfortable.

“This marriage works because you don’t feel good about yourself!”

“Quinn Fabray”. Ugh. I can’t even imagine being Will in that moment. How deceived and betrayed he must feel. Man. I’m uncomfortable watching this.

It drives me nuts when people bring up promises made under false pretenses. Terri brings up now how Will promised to remember how happy they were and that they loved each other…at the fake ultrasound. Yeah. Your lie negates the promise, idiot. Rachel does something similar in regards to “you said you’d never break up with me” to Finn in season 2 after she cheats with Puck. People are fools.

Seriously though, how does Will not even question those mattresses and just bust one out. And couldn’t he have slept on it without taking it out of the plastic? High maintenance much? ;) Honestly though, if I found a stack of MATTRESSES delivered to my drama club kids saying “thanks for all your hard work”..I’d raise a fuckin’ eyebrow and question what they’d done to earn that. It’s sort of suggestive, is it not? Or do I just have a dirty mind?

haha. Something I’ve always loved about this moment when Sue overhears the mattress commercial at the tv studio is that moment where she thinks she just hears Rachel Berry near. Her reaction, and me always thinking “what would I do if I thought I heard Rachel Berry outside of the one place I’m forced to have to” always makes me laugh.

“oooohhhh, I got nuttin’ to say to you, preggo.”

They’re disqualified from Sectionals!!?? Oh no! Lol. This was before I knew what RIB was capable of. When I thought they’d go the honorable, legit route with this show. I was wracking my brain to figure out how they’d get out of this one. Oh how wrong I was.

“And what if I were to innocently murder you, William?”

“I’m sorry, but Glee club is over.” “It’s. OVER!” Dun dun dun!

“It’s like looking at a porno star in a nun’s habit.” re: pregnant Quinn in her Cheerios uniform. Amazing. 

Season tickets to Cedar Point!! Yay for accuracy, Glee!

Listen. Quinn has a lot of rage. She’s talking to Sue like she’d talk to Rachel or some other underclassmen ‘loser’.

Quinn just quit Cheerios sorta to be in Glee club instead. We’ll find out, but my memory is that she’ll start wishing she was back on that squad and complaining about it real soon. No?

Okay. HOW is Will disqualified for being paid for what he does…when he gets PAID to RUN the Glee Club? Makes noooo sense. He should be fine.

Charlie Chaplin Smile. Such a sad song. This montage is so good though. It’s one of those times Glee kinda moved me. I got choked up. And my heart dropped to see people defacing this photo when they’d all taken a step forward and were so proud. This is hard to watch right now with Glee Graduation mere days ahead. :(

Also, I miiiight still listen to this song when I’m having a hard day to try to turn it around. Good song.

Aw, Karofsky figured out how to spell loser. Good for him.

Okay, so I’m pausing this to take a look at the comic brilliance of these cool kids defacing the picture. They gave Santana a pitchfork. No shit, Sherlock. They’ll all call her Satan in Glee soon enough. They gave Kirt a skirt and boobs. Cause he’s gay. Brilliant. :/ They gave Finn buck teeth. Matt got a fro (RACIST!). Puck got devil horns. Mercedes got…a cigar? No, giant buck teeth and…a lollipop? They drew a happy face on Tina (? The fuck?). Nothing to Mike Chang or Britany. Artie got devil horns and a mustache. Rachel got a pitchfork. Quinn got..a giant Rabbi beard? They crossed out Rachel’s face and wrote ‘lame’ with an arrow pointing to her. This is the most UNcreative defacing ever. I’m disappointed. Be better bullies! Or funnier ones at least! SOLOS: Rachel (3), Finn (3), Mercedes (1) MERCEDES TAKES THE GLORY NOTE: 3rd time

#Glee Memories #Glee #lol Glee #Glee Mattress

[going-through-some-stuff]

Entry Seventeen - Saturday, July 11 2020

Well it’s been a hot minute since I’ve posted on here. It’s also been a little over  two years that I’ve been posting on here, which is fucking insane to me. There honestly hasn’t been anything super insane that’s happened to me specifically in the like six months since I posted last. COVID-19 is still going on because people refuse to wear masks and self-quarantine, which is frustrating to say the least. Black Lives Matter protests are also happening still, which is another whole ordeal in and of itself. Like how hard is it to understand that the police force disproportionately targets black people and shouldn’t be allowed to get away with all the bullshit they get away with. Fuck qualified immunity and all that shit. Fuck 12, All Cops Are Bastards, de-fund the police. Anyway, back to what’s going on in my life specifically because you can and should go listen to what more qualified people are saying about Black Lives Matter, and COVID if that’s still going on. One big thing that happened to me over the last few months was I decided to drop accounting as a major and pursue higher level courses in economics because accounting is very boring and not what I want to do. I’m getting a masters certificate in econometrics, which is basically the data analysis and projection side of economics. I think I’ve gotten all of that stuff sorted out, but we’ll have to see. It’s gonna be weird because I’ll be taking undergraduate and graduate courses at the same time this fall, but I should be fine. Still going to therapy (virtually because duh) and it’s been helpful. It’s nice to have a person that I can just talk through my shit with. I’m also pretty sure I have ADHD in some capacity because my mind is just constantly running in all sorts of directions but I won’t know for sure until I can get back to Emporia and take an official test for it. I also quit my job at Walgreens because I didn’t enjoy working there and didn’t want to be there anymore. It’s been nice not having to worry about work all the time and having a ton of free time to myself. Not getting paid kinda sucks, but I have money saved up so I can pay my bills and still have money left over for stuff I want to do like seeing movies, buying magic cards, etc. Not having a job also means I get to spend my summer in Wichita, which has been pretty great overall. It was supposed to be a time to get to see/hang out with my friends a lot but COVID has kinda put a damper on that. I still get to see them, but not as often as I’d like. I also haven’t been talking to my dad as often, which has also been good because basically every conversation I have with him ends in me being pissed off in some capacity. I’ve seen him like three times since summer has started and they’ve all been fine but he’s still very obnoxious to deal with as a whole so the less the better. Like he just refuses to admit he’s wrong in any capacity. I try to call him out on his bullshit, he tells me I’m wrong and that I need to “grow up” and get used to the “real world” where apparently everybody is an asshole, at least according to him. It’s just impossible to have a serious conversation where I tell him anything important going on in my life because he always finds a way to turn it into a fucking lecture. It’s so fucking frustrating. He’s just always so passive aggressive about shit. Like I have to go with him, my sister, and my stepmom to Emporia later this week for some stuff and my sister and I were going to drive up separate because she wants to be back pretty quickly since she will have gotten back from a month or so out of town doing medical school stuff. So my sister asks if it’s ok if we leave early, my dad says he wants to have dinner up there, and she asks again because she gets back the day before and wasn’t aware until yesterday or two days ago we were going up there, and my dad’s exact response was “That is fine. I was thinking it was another hour, but if you feel that way, that is fine.” As if that’s not some of the most passive aggressive bullshit ever. Also whenever my dad says anything is going to take X amount of time, it’s usually twice that long at least. So when he says an hour, its at least two hours or more. But it’s this kind of passive aggressive shit that makes me not want to talk to him. He talks like he’s so much better than we are and that we don’t know what we’re doing or that we’re adults, and it’s infuriating. If he didn’t have financial power over me (paying for phone bills, etc.) I would probably never talk to him because I just don’t want to deal with it. If he could just admit to being an asshole and not being right all the time, then maybe we could work on some kind of compromise. Like I know I’m not the best son/person but that doesn’t excuse his shitty behavior. I really want to have a sit down with him and have a serious heart to heart about what’s going on because I feel like he really does want what’s best for me and doesn’t understand how much he’s been fucking with my mental health for most of my life, but also I’ve tried to have serious conversations with him before and he always ends up condescending, interrupting, and overall treating my experiences and feelings like they’re invalid. I’d like to do it before I go back to college this fall so I can just have that off my mind, but it’s hard. I don’t know if I’m going to really be able to put all of my feelings out there in a way that doesn’t make it sound like I”m attacking him and trying to blame everything on him, because it’s not entirely his fault I am the way I am. But on the other hand I think he deserves a chance to be able to learn from his mistakes and be a better person. I just don’t know how well he’s going to be able to do that and how much of an impact this is really going to have, and that’s what scares me about it. I really want to try and fix this because I know other people’s dads are irredeemable and they’ve got no shot, and I feel like I”m doing them a disservice by just completely giving up without a fair chance. I don’t know. It sucks. I think I need to talk to my mom about it because I know they went to couples therapy for a long time before they divorced and I want to hear her side of how that went and see what she thinks. My therapist thinks it’s a good idea and my sister agrees, but we’ll see. Anyway, I’m gonna start doing a thing where I put a song that I’ve been listening to a lot recently and hopefully one that pertains to whatever I end up talking about in these posts, even when I post as infrequently as I do. The first song is Could Have Been Me by The Struts. If you pay attention to the timing of these posts, you’ll notice it’s a song that I’ve only heard because it was popular on Tik-Tok, but this app is great and anybody who thinks they’re too good for it is a pretentious asshole. Like if you don’t want to use it, that’s fine, but you’re not special for not using it either. Anyway, this song is really good and I very much suggest it. But that’s it for today. See y’all again at some point probably. It’s ya boi, AW, signing off.