Want the most. You deserve it.
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If there is only one thing I would want to tell all trans people, it is this:
Please make it. You are worth it to see a better future; we will make this world kind. You are so needed, you are so wanted. We will make this world somewhere worth our light. I hope you can be by my side forever, I hope we can bask in the beauty of this world. I love you, trans person reading this.
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you were raised in comparison.
it wasn't always obvious (well. except for the times that it was), but you internalized it young. you had to eat what you didn't like, other people are going hungry, and you should be grateful. you had to suck it up and walk on the twisted ankle, it wasn't broken, you were just being a baby. you were never actually suffering, people obviously had it worse than you did.
you had a roof over your head - imagine! with the way you behaved, with how you talked back to your parents? you're lucky they didn't kick you out on your ass. they had friends who had to deal with that. hell, you have friends who had to deal with that. and how dare you imply your father isn't there for you - just because he doesn't ever actually talk to you and just because he's completely emotionally checked out of your life doesn't mean you're not fucking lucky. think about your cousins, who don't even get to speak to their dad. so what if yours has a mean streak; is aggressive and rude. at least you have a father to be rude to you.
you really think you're hurting? you were raised in a home! you had access to clean water! you never so much as came close to experiencing a real problem. sure, okay. you have this "mental illness" thing, but teenagers are always depressed, right. it's a phase, you'll move on with your life.
what do you mean you feel burnt out at work. what do you mean you mean you never "formed healthy coping mechanisms?" we raised you better than that. you were supposed to just shoulder through things. to hold yourself to high expectations. "burning out" is for people with real jobs and real stress. burnout is for people who have sick kids and people who have high-paying jobs and people who are actually experiencing something difficult. recently you almost cried because you couldn't find your fucking car keys. you just have lost your sense of gratitude, and honestly, we're kind of hurt. we tell you we love you, isn't that enough? if you want us to stick around, you need to be better about proving it. you need to shut up about how your mental health is ruined.
it could be worse! what if you were actually experiencing executive dysfunction. if you were really actually sick, would you even be able to look at things on the internet about it? you just spend too much time on webMD. you just like to freak yourself out and feel like you belong to something. you just like playing the victim. this is always how you have been - you've always been so fucking dramatic. you have no idea how good you have it - you're too fucking sensitive.
you were like, maybe too good of a kid. unwilling to make a real fuss. and the whole time - the little points, the little validations - they went unnoticed. it isn't that you were looking for love, specifically - more like you'd just wanted any one person to actually listen. that was all you'd really need. you just needed to be witnessed. it wasn't that you couldn't withstand the burden, but you did want to know that anyone was watching. these days, you are so accustomed to the idea of comparison - you don't even think you belong in your own communities. someone always fits better than you do. you're always the outlier. they made these places safe, and then you go in, and you are just not... quite the same way that would actually-fit.
you watch the little white ocean of your numbness lap at your ankles. the tide has been coming in for a while, you need to do something about it. what you want to do is take a nap. what you want to do is develop some kind of time machine - it's not like you want your life to stop, not completely, but it would really nice if you could just get everything to freeze, just for a little while, just until you're finished resting. but at least you're not the worst you've been. at least you have anything. you're so fucking lucky. do you have any concept of the amount of global suffering?
a little ant dies at the side of your kitchen sink. you look at its strange chitinous body and think - if you could just somehow convince yourself it is enough, it will finally be enough and you can be happy. no changes will have to be made. you just need to remember what you could lose. what is still precious to you.
you can't stop staring at the ant. you could be an ant instead of a person, that is how lucky you are. it's just - you didn't know the name of the ant, did you. it's just - ants spend their whole life working, and never complain. never pull the car over to weep.
it's just - when it died, it curled up into a tight little ball.
something kind of uncomfortable: you do that when you sleep.
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The world is cruel and unfair.
But that doesn't mean that you have to be as well.
You have the ability to be better than that.
That's what makes people great.
Bad people just wanna make their bad day everyone else's problems.
I've been cyberbullied, doxxed, and stabbed in the back more times than I can count.
Its not going to stop me from being a good person and helping others.
Because if I stoop to the same level as those people?
They would win, because it would make me just as awful as them, thus making them feel validated in their horribleness.
So remember that when you get up each morning...the strength you have to be better than what the world throws at you.
I think that's why shows like RWBY mean so much to me.
www.tumblr.com/iamafanofcartoons/733069137182605312/i-wanna-thank-tumblingxelian-markzschiegnerii
It takes place in a cruel world with cruel people, and yet so many of the characters in the show try to do good, despite how difficult that can be.
https://www.tumblr.com/iamafanofcartoons/714857308133441536/lets-talk-about-what-makes-rwby-good-or-enjoyable
It also says a lot about the haters and their mindset.
If they can force you give into negativity and hate?
They win like the villains because they want to be proven right about justifying their actions and behavior, or their views.
So long as you can find the strength to be good, in a world that tries to force you to stoop to the level of the bad people who try to use the cruelty of the world to justify their bad behavior?
Good WILL Prevail.
"Become the change YOU wish to see in the world"
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One of my favorite things about the ASL Brothers is the fact that Ace was the one brought out the sake and proposed becoming brothers.
Not Luffy or Sabo but Ace.
Ace, who believes he is unlovable, Ace who believes that his blood is dirty, Ace who believes that he didn’t deserve to be born, Ace who thinks that his life is worthless, Ace who believes that his mere existence is a crime.
And yet Ace saw these two boys and approached them without apprehension or fear of rejection even though he was proposing something as irrevocable, something as bonding as brotherhood
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The ghost distribution system has given me brain rot. I volunteer and foster for a cat rescue and have said the phrase "it's fine we're all strays here" to several animals an now all I can think of is him over hearing that and further solidifying "yep I'm here forever now"
God that kills me.
"It's ok baby, we're all strays here"
It hits Ghost between the ribs, sticks like it's barbed. You're talking to one of the neighborhood cats but it doesn't matter, it may as well be him. He watches you stroke your fingers over the tabby's head, scratching lightly behind its ears as it chomps greedily at the kibble you set out. Crouched and resting your cheek against your palm, your smile is so gentle. You're beautiful when you smile. All strays. He hadn't considered that in your infinite kindness, your ceaseless compassion, you could be like him. It didn't fit, somehow, that another stray might take him in, that the hand reaching out to him might have been looking for salvation as well.
Ghost supposes even god must have to beg for worship. Why else would they send angels to shepherds? Send prophets and evangelists? Do you beg at the same doorway, staring from the other side of the warmth and hoping your worshipers can find you in the cold? When you saved him, did you know how deeply his devotion would run? Did you know to be scared of it? Did you know he'd stay?
Did you know he'd come back?
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Some advice for younger queer folk: please don't make your sense of isolation integral to your queer experience. It might feel cathartic, and it's certainly something I did for a time myself - there's no shame in admitting that you feel that isolation.
It's not a bad thing to notice that you feel isolated, but please don't isolate yourself because you think your only tie to your queerness is that you are alone in everything. There is a community and place for you, even when it doesn't seem feasible. Please hold hope out for that
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