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dangerous-mess · 1 year

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Worried Mind

Characters: Reader (You), Aizawa, mentions of Hizashi, mentions of bakugo, mentions of kirishima

Contains: Panic attacks, insomnia, sleepless reader, mentions of anxiety, mentions of anxiety meds, hurt/comfort, slight angst, pre- war arc

Word Count: 1.2K

You couldn’t sleep, which was frustrating. Your insomnia has been at its worst lately which on any other night would have been nice, as you’d usually sat and talked with your husband, Shouta. Though lately, he had been on parole, protecting his students from the rise of League of Villains activity that had been happening. You knew past that demeanor of his, he would lay his life down for those kids at a moment's notice. He had been taking extra night shifts to make sure they were safe, not knowing if there was corruption from inside UA or not.

So tonight, you were left alone. Being alone was nice, most of the time. You loved your alone time and taking the opportunity for self-care, but with the lack of sleep, being alone left you alone on a battlefield inside your mind. You went about keeping yourself busy, knowing that if it got bad enough you could always call your husband. You knew he would find someone to cover for him and come home in a hop, skip, and a jump if you really needed him. But you were strong, you could get through the few hours it would take to either fall asleep or until he got home from parole.

So with that, you went about the usual routine during nights like these. You got up from bed and did some light stretches as your body ached from the constant tossing and turning you had done for the last several hours. Next, you grabbed the book you were currently reading from your nightstand and made your way to the kitchen to prep some tea. You jumped up onto the counter as the water heated up and began to read your book, or at least attempted to. The words kept jumbling together and nothing was processing in your mind. Your anxiety was spiking the more you were awake, and you knew it. You hopped off the counter and made your way to the medicine cabinet and pulled out your anxiety medication, the ones you took when needed, and popped it in your mouth, swallowing it without water. Hopefully, that would ease the anxiety and your worried mind.

The kettle to the tea sang out and you made your way back over to it, removing it from the heat. You poured a cup into your favorite mug, it was a mug Shouta had gotten you as a gift back when you two had begun dating. It was simple, nothing extravagant, just a slick black and grey marble pattern across the cup. You put the tea bag in, some of your husband’s favorite tea, and went to grab your phone to set a timer for the tea to seep. As you set a timer, you noticed a text message from your husband.

Shouta: I’ll be home later something came up, don’t wait up. I’ll see you in the morning.

Those words sent your mind spiraling. Was everything okie? Did something come up with the league of villains? You felt your heart racing and your hands began to shake. You felt like you couldn’t breathe and slowly made your way to the floor, holding your knees close to you, trying to ground yourself, quite literally. The time for your tea went off and you just turned it off, the tea the least of your worries right now. You needed to calm down, you tried to tell yourself that everything was okay, that everything would be okay. Some of the kids probably pulled a prank or tried to use the kitchen again and things went sour. But that still wasn’t helping at all.

You felt yourself beginning to disassociate, as you just kept fidgeting with your fingers. Trying to keep some part of you at the moment, in this reality. You need to call him now, or Hizashi, or someone. Before you become unreachable before you fall into the trap of your own mind. You tried to use speed dial and reach someone but your eyes were too dazed and the phone was too blurry.

You aren’t sure if you ever hit the call button. You weren’t even sure if it had been 5 minutes or 5 hours, regardless you felt someone talking to you. Luring you back into reality, or trying to.

“Come back to me, my love. You are safe, I promise.” The voice spoke, so soft and tenderly.

You tried to speak but it felt as if your mouth was sewn shut. You tried to look around but things were blurry and you couldn’t make out the face behind that soothing voice. Your brain couldn’t comprehend who it was.

“It’s okie, my love, it’s only me. If you can hear me can you blink once? “ The voice asked you.

You understood that and blinked once for this unknown figure.

“Lovely job, sweetheart. Can you blink once if I can hold you?”

Again, you blinked once to let the person know and before you knew it you were being held, your face buried in the figure’s chest. You just stayed there close to the person, not even realizing that you ended up slowly falling asleep as you wore yourself out.

You woke up back in your shared bed, being held close to your husband, who was fast asleep. You didn’t remember going back to bed or even falling asleep. Honestly, you only remember the text that was sent to you from the man next to you. You felt the anxiety rise back up from last night and tried to sit up, waking your husband in the process.

“Morning, sweetheart.” He spoke softly, his voice groggy as he clearly was still half asleep. He looked and saw the panic that was apparent on your face and sat up, shaking himself awake. “Hey, hey, you are okie. I’m okie, I promise.” His voice attempts to soothe the worries in your head.

“But last night, what happened?” Your voice was shaky as you felt yourself on the brink of tears.

“Those kids and trying to cook, if that’s what you are asking. If not you must have had a panic attack from the lack of sleep.” He opened his arms up, offering to hold you close again. You took no time to bury yourself in his arms. “You called last night Hizashi last night and he couldn’t make out a word. So he called me, and I connected the dots. I’m sorry for the text, I should have said more, but we just about had a fire, Bakugo and Kirishima are a terrible duo in the kitchen.” He chuckled and you couldn’t help but chuckle as well.

“I’m sorry, I just,” you sighed, “ I was just so tired and my anxiety was already eating at me. I guess that knocked me over the edge.” You said curling close to your husband. He held you close and rubbed your back gently. He didn’t need to say anything as you knew there wasn’t much he could say. “I think, I need to get back to the doctor about my insomnia, see if I can get some sort of mediation or sleep study.” You mumbled.

He nods, although you can’t see it, before speaking up. “I think that may be a good idea. Regardless I support you all the way, I love you.” He says placing a kiss on the top of your head.

“I love you too, Sho. Wanna get some more sleep, I-” You were cut off by him dragging you both back into the laying position as he held you close. He could never say no to more sleep. And for once, you felt as if you could sleep with him next to you.

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dangerous-mess · 3 years

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Falling Apart

Characters: V (Jihyun Kim), gender neutral reader

Contains: Overworked/stressed reader, mentions of anxiety, implied anxiety attack, hurt/comfort, slight angst, Mint Eye mentioned, concerned V.

Word Count: 1K

Y/N worked quietly at their desk, planning ahead for the next party that was only a number of days away. Although this was nothing like their first party, the last few days were always stressful for Y/N. Trying to make sure everything was in line and perfect for this RFA party was always a big deal, more so with all of the members depending on them. Y/N let out a sigh and put their head down on the desk, fighting back the urge to cry. There was so much work to be done and yet there didn’t seem to be enough time to get everything done and in order.

Y/N was brought back to reality when they felt a hand touch their back. They didn’t need to look up to know it was Jihyun, or V as most of the RFA referred to him as. Y/N still kept their head down on the table, knowing the moment they locked eyes with their boyfriend, the flood gates would open up.

“Y/N, are you alright?” Their boyfriend asked, his voice filled with worry and concern. They knew he would worry, he always still worried quite a bit about them ever since the Mint Eye incident all those years ago.

Y/N just nodded slightly, messing up the papers that rested under their head. They could feel the look that Jihyun was giving them and they knew this would only cause more worry, even if they claimed to be fine. Though, he would just let it go until Y/N was ready to talk about everything. They felt him press a kiss to the top of their head and whisper some kind words before they heard him leave the room, leaving them alone once again. Amongst the stress and now building anxiety and guilt, Y/N was beginning to feel as if they didn’t deserve this happy ending, that they didn’t deserve to even be with Jihyun at all.

Y/N finally lifted their head, the tears no longer being held by the dam within their eyes. They pushed themselves away from the table, not wanting to mess up any of the paperwork, knowing that it would only cause them more stress down the road. With shaky arms Y/N pushed themselves out of the chair and walked to the door. They placed their hand on the door handle and just stood there, unsure if going to their boyfriend was the right move. The anxiety started to kick in and they began to question all their moves and motives. What if he found them weak or stupid for crying and getting upset over the party? What if he assumed they couldn’t handle it anymore and passed it on to someone else, like Jaehee who was already overworked already. Their mind spiraled and began to run all over the place and they attempted to lower themself to the floor only to fall with a hard thud to the ground instead. This only caused Y/N to cry even harder, from the feeling of being overwhelmed with everything going on around them.

They heard footsteps coming from down the hall and knew Jihyun had heard the fall. It would be any second now that he would see them here like this and everything would be over, everything would fall apart. The door slowly opened, Y/N stopping it from opening all the way as they sat near it. V managed to sneak in and close the door softly before sitting down near Y/N. Y/N looked up with tear filled eyes to see worry filled on their boyfriend’s face.

“I’m ok,” was all Y/N managed to get out as they choked back another sob wanting to escape. V wiped their tears and asked Y/N something though they weren’t able to process what was said, they simply just nodded. Y/N felt his arms wrap around them and felt Jihyun pull them close.

“Y/N, darling, what’s wrong?” Y/N made out the sentence, slowly coming back to reality although their mind was still very much unkind and running on full speed. Thoughts of the party filled their head and they felt the sudden urge to just push through and finish the planning, ignoring the comfort they were feeling. Y/N tried to push out of V’s arms but couldn’t escape to no avail. “Y/N please talk to me, something is clearly upsetting you and I want to help, even if it is simply easing your mind.”

Y/N just cried harder as they tried to fight out of Jihyun’s arms. “Please...V, I gotta finish stuff for the party, I’ll be ok, I promise.” Y/N plead, “I just need to finish the party stuff and then everything will be ok.”

“Y/N, just take a break. You are doing so great already and everything will turn out fine. You are stressing yourself out.” Jihyun spoke, his voice laced with concern.

Y/N let themselves slump back into their boyfriend’s arms and just find comfort in them. “I just want this to be as perfect as all the past ones were. I need it to be.” Y/N mumbled out, trying to stop the tears from rolling down their face.

“And it will be, you’ve done a fantastic job so far and I know this party will be the best one yet. You need to let yourself rest though.” He spoke, his voice soothing and sweet. Y/N knew this and knew that it was implied that they were beginning to overwork themselves like Jaehee unfortunately does.

“I can’t promise that I won’t continue to work later tonight, but I promise I’ll take more breaks.” Y/N said, drying their tears and nuzzling into Jihyun. “More so if these breaks involve you.”

Jihyun chuckled and softly kissed the top of Y/N’s head. “I’ll always be here for you, during your breaks or otherwise.”

Y/N smiled and leaned up, kissing him softly. “I love you, Jihyun.”

“And I love you my sweet Y/N.”

#mystic messenger #mystic messenger fanfic #mystic messenger fanficiton #mystic messenger v #jihyun kim #mystic messenger x reader #gender neutral reader #slight angs #hurt/comfort #slight vent fic #mentions of anxiety #implied anxiety attack #mystic messenger V x reader #jihyun kim x reader #y/n reader #y/n fic

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dangerous-mess · 3 years

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Requests

Hello, I’ve decided to open up requests and asks for any fanfiction ideas. Feel free to either pm or leave a fic suggestion within my asks. I’ll try and fulfill the said request within a decent amount of time.

Thank you for all your support!

#writing requests #chaotic frogs asks #chaotic frogs announcement #chaotic frogs writing #fanfiction #fanfiction writing #fanfiction requests #bnha fanficition #bnha fanfic #bnha requests #marvel fanfiction #marvel fanfic #marvel requests #mystic messenger fanfic #mystic messenger fanfiction #mystic messenger requests #the arcana fanfiction #the arcana fanfic #the arcana requests

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dangerous-mess · 3 years

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Holiday Troubles

Characters: Aizawa, trans male reader

Contains: Unsupportive family, transphobia, homophobia, misgendering, mentions of a deadname (D/N), mentions of religion and praying, mentions of dysphoria, angst, hurt/comfort, angst with fluff ending. This was written mainly as a comfort fic during the winter holidays but wanted to post this here (originally posted on AO3). Please read with caution as this content may be triggering for some

Word Count: 2K+

The holidays were always rough for you, being not only gay but transgender as well. There were the off-putting tension and feelings every time you walked in the room, and the side glances and judgemental glares that were shot your way if you were even caught wearing something feminine and not masculine. Mostly from your parents and family, feeling the obligation that you had to follow gender norms in the hope to not only pass but to be taken seriously in your own identity.

The holidays got a little easier once you married your now husband. He made visiting your family a bit easier and made the holidays in general, more enjoyable for you. This year, unfortunately, he had meetings and a nightly patrol that he couldn’t get out of, so you were left to go to the Christmas family gathering by yourself.

The day came, and needless to say, you were a nervous mess. You dressed up in a suit, something masculine of course to appease your family and keep those comments at bay. Though, you knew you weren’t in the clear as there was still a high chance of being deadnamed and misgendered by family who were unsupportive or others who just didn’t try. Your husband, Shouta, let you know before he left early that morning that if you needed anything at all to give him or Hizashi a call and they would come and get you in a heartbeat. He said Hizashi, just in case he couldn’t be reached, which was fine with you, Hizashi had become a close friend to you.

You arrived at your parent's house a little later than they asked, just cause you were nervous and needed more time to prepare for this evening. You knocked on the front door, adjusting your suit as you waited for someone to open the door, only to be greeted by one of your younger siblings. They gave you a big hug, before dragging you inside where you were greeted by family. Your grandmother was the first to deadname you. She called out as you talked to your uncle, a devious smile on her face as the name rolled off her tongue. You cringed hearing it and so badly wanted to correct her, but if your mother caught wind that you did, who knows what drama may pursue. You endured the conversation with her, as she made sure to drop in your deadname every chance she could get.

“Honestly D/N, you really should stop playing dress up and realize that you are a girl. Your husband would be so much happier to have a wife who knows her place and not some confused girl.”

You took a deep breath and bid your goodbyes to your grandmother as you went to find someone else to talk to. Eventually, dinner was called, and you all gathered around and your grandfather said a prayer. You looked down at your feet the entire time, not really wanting to participate in the prayer. Soon it wrapped up and a line formed into the kitchen to get food. After everyone got food, everyone gathered around and talked, telling stories of things that happened within the past year in their lives, as well as asking questions to others to get the latest scoop. You just decided to eat silently, trying to not participate in the gossip fest happening before you.

“So Y/N, how are you and your husband doing?” Your dad asked before he took a sip of a beer. You held up your pointer finger, signaling that you needed a moment as your finished chewing food before you smiled and spoke.

“Oh, we are doing well! He sends his deepest apologies that he couldn’t make it, hero duties called.” You smiled, taking a quick glance around the room. Some whispers were exchanged, knowing it was about you and Shouta. It was clear that besides your family not supporting your identity, they also did not support your marriage to a hero. Especially a hero who was supportive of you and your identity.

“Honestly, how she manages to keep such a hero man, is insane. Like who would wanna marry some confused lesbian?” One of your aunts spoke out. You gripped your glass tightly, biting your tongue, not wanting to start any issues.

Other family members chimed in to add on to your aunt's comment and soon it became too much. You quickly excused yourself and went to the bathroom farthest away from your family. You pulled out your phone and texted your husband. You told him that you needed him or Hizashi or someone to come to pick you up, as you originally walked, as it was nice earlier prior to the sun setting. You quickly got a reply, saying your husband was on his way, and that he was getting someone to cover the rest of his patrol. You felt a bit bad to interrupt and have him leave his patrol, but god you just needed him right now more than anything.

You hid amongst the rooms as you waited for Shouta to send you a message or signal that he was here. Your mom called out your name, walking down the hall looking for you. The smile on her face dropped as she saw you and grabbed your arm.

“Come on Y/N, we are about to exchange gifts. Stop trying to hide and be nice and spend time with your family. It took a lot of work and effort to get everyone here, like your grandparents who haven’t seen you in ages.” Your mom aggressively whispered at you, as she pulled you towards the living room. You stayed silently, hoping that your husband would be here soon.

Your mom let you go and pointed to a chair near the tree. You sat down and were handed some gifts. You slowly opened them, trying not to draw attention to yourself. The first gift was in a gift bag, and opening it exposed a colorful piece of clothing. You pulled it out and it was a sundress. Although you didn’t mind breaking gender norms, dresses were never your thing, they held too many bad memories and made you dysphoric. You frowned, not having the energy to fake a smile. You felt your mind start to spiral before a voice pulled you out.

“Oh, D/N do you not like it. I made sure to even get the right size and everything. I thought you could put that on and surprise your husband when you go home. Imagine how he would react to see his wife, finally coming to terms with herself.” Your grandmother called out, staring at you the entire time. You went to open your mouth when another voice spoke up.

“Actually, I think my husband looks handsome and perfect just the way he is in the suit he is wearing, but thank you. Maybe we can save the dress and give it to one of my students, I know one of them would get much better use of it.” Shouta’s voice boomed out, making a hush fall across the room. You never heard the front door open, but then again Shouta was very good at staying silent. You looked at your husband, feeling all your emotions and feelings starting to rise to the surface. You caught a dirty look your mother gave you as you stood up and made your way over to Shouta.

He held out his hand as you got closer and held it tightly, quickly bidding goodbye for you both as he quickly led you outside to the car that was waiting outside and still running. “I had Hizashi drive me over, hope that’s okay.” You just nodded at him, not letting go of his hand until you got into the car. As soon as you and Shouta were in the car, Hizashi sped off.

“Heya listener, how did it go?” Hizashi asked out, peeking into the mirror looking back at you.

“I lasted longer than last year, so that’s a new record at least.” You joked, trying not to cry. At least not now, you had to make it until you were home and in bed, with your husband holding you close.

Hizashi talked most of the ride home, while Shouta kept glancing back at you. You tried to listen to what was being said, but you couldn’t focus, so you just looked out the window, slightly dozing off. You woke up to the feeling of being carried, your eyes adjusted as you saw Shouta was carrying you into the house and to the bedroom. On any other occasion, if he was carrying you like this you were bound to tease or crack a joke or something, but in this moment you just stayed in his arms, gripping onto him tightly. Once you both got to the bedroom, he helped you undress and slip on something comfy. After he finished helping you, he quickly changed and climbed into bed, pulling you close to him and holding you tightly.

For a while, you just laid there in his arms, fighting back the urge to scream and cry. Though, after he comforted you and let you know it was okay to be upset and that you could let it all out. In which you did, you sobbed in his chest for what felt like hours. You screamed and sobbed and let out all the feelings you bottled up for the few hours you were at the family gathering. Eventually, you ran out of tears to cry and were only left with your own thoughts. You were overthinking, mostly dwelling on the words your family spoke out to you this evening, and couldn’t help but question if it was true.

“Sho...I’ve got to ask you something, kind of important.” You gently pushed away and sat up in the bed, looking at him. He stared at you, and nodded, letting you know it was okay to continue on. You took a deep breath and went for it, “Am I enough for you? I brought a lot of baggage and trouble into our relationship and I know it can’t be easy for you dating me, specifically with the backlash and comments that get made by my family and others about me transitioning and just. If you were with anyone else, I feel like you won’t get all this drama and I’m sorry I’ve brought so much of it onto you Shouta.”

You watched as his facial expression changed and you quickly looked away, finding interest in anything that wasn’t his face, afraid of what his reaction not only meant but the words that were about to follow. “Y/N, please look at me.” You slowly looked up and he placed a hand on your cheek. “I love you Y/N. I love you for you, you are my husband and I won’t want anyone else besides me. You are more than enough for me. And we both have a lot of baggage but that doesn’t change my feelings for you, we can work through it all together. I meant what I said in my vows and at our wedding and I still stand by it. Forever and always.”

You fiddled with your fingers before speaking up, “I love you Shouta so much, I’m just afraid one day I won’t be enough, cause as silly as it is, I don’t feel masculine or manly enough, that you’ll find more of a ‘real’ man one day and just leave me behind.” Tears filled your eyes and you looked down, just wanting to hide under the blankets.

“Y/N Aizawa, you are absolutely masculine and manly enough. I will never find anyone else or more a man than you. You are all I want, and all I need. I love you so much, don’t ever doubt my love for you, cause it is never-ending sweetheart.” Shouta spoke out, lifting your head up and placing a small kiss on your forehead before pulling you into his arms, holding you close. You just stayed there close, as Shouta whispered sweet nothings into your ear as you drifted off to sleep.

Shouta always made the holidays more bearable, but he also made life in general easier. He made waking up a little easier and helped with your hectic thoughts to calm you down. He truly was the love of your life and the best you could ever ask for. You couldn’t have gotten any luckier to have a husband as sweet and perfect as you. He may not be the number one hero to the rest of the world, but in your eyes and his heart, he was, he was your number one hero.

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dangerous-mess · 3 years

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Oh Ms. Believer

Characters: Kirishima, gender neutral reader

Contains: This is a songfic and honestly just pure fluff. This was part of a winter series I did on AO3 and just never posted on here.

Word Count: 500+

Oh Ms. Believer, my pretty sleeper. Your twisted mind is like snow on the road.

Kirishima loved you from the moment he met you back in high school. And as the years passed he just grew more in love with you. You two were good friends and had been since high school, and he was so grateful to call you his friend, but he wanted more. He wanted a relationship with you but didn’t want to ruin the amazing friendship you two shared. And every year he always planned to ask you out on a date, around the holiday season, cause everyone knew he was just that cheesy type of guy. But alas every year he chickened out and spent the rest of the season wishfully thinking of what could be.

I will tell you, I love you. But the muffs on your ears will cater your fears.

This year though, this year he was going to ask you out on a date. He would go through with his plan cause he couldn’t bear to go another year not knowing and overthinking it all. The next few weeks, leading up to the week of Christmas, Eijiro spent the time planning everything, down to the second, depending on what you would respond and say. He wanted to be prepared and be ready to accept whatever answer you gave him, even if it wasn’t the one he wanted to hear.

Oh Ms. Believer, my pretty weeper. Your twisted thoughts are like snow on the rooftops

There he stood outside your apartment, bundled up in winter clothes, cause yes he may be tough and a man but he wasn’t dumb to stand outside in the chilling weather in shorts and a tee-shirt. He held some flowers, nothing too fancy but ones he hopes you would love and cherish. Eijiro took a deep breath before knocking on your door and waited.

You opened the door and stood there in a holiday sweater and smiled at him. He felt his heart begin to race as he just stared at you. Kirishima snapped out of his thoughts as he heard you call his name. He smiled at you and handed you the flowers.

“These uhh...these are for you,” He spoke out, trying to remain calm and confident. He watched you take the flowers and a blush cover your cheeks. “Y/N listen, I came here today to ask you out on a date, so will you go on a date with me?”

You nodded, a smile never leaving your face, “Kiri, I would be honored to go on a date with you.”

Please take my hand, we’re in foreign land.

He waited inside your place for a while as you quickly changed into a warmer and more date appropriate outfit, though if Eijiro was being honest, you both could have left in what you were wearing beforehand and he would have been satisfied. You looked stunning to him, regardless of what you had on. Once you were ready, he held your hand as you both went about the absolutely wonderful night he had planned.

As we travel through snow, together we go.

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dangerous-mess · 3 years

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diversity win! this fictional character is gay in my brain

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dangerous-mess · 3 years

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Love at First Sight

Characters: Hawks, gender neutral reader

Contains: Fluff, flirty Hawks, Hawk’s name reveal

Word Count: 514

Keigo paced anxiously outside the door to your apartment. It was the first official date he was going to take you on and he was nervous, to say the least. He wanted everything to go according to plan and be perfect cause he wouldn't admit it yet, but he was falling for you, hard. Finally, after standing outside your door for a while, he knocked and waited, messing with his hands. He was never this nervous before with others but you were different. Around you, he didn’t feel like he had to fake and be the 2nd best hero. He could just be himself. He could let his walls down and show and express every and all emotions he was capable of. Keigo trusted you with his life, he only hoped you trusted him as well.

The door to your apartment and there you stood in the doorway, looking perfect. Keigo blinked, stunned at how phenomenal you looked.

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer,” Y/N spoke out, letting out a small chuckle. This only caused Kegio to roll his eyes. “You can come in, by the way, Hawks. I need to finish getting ready.”

This caused your date to gasp. “You mean to tell me you are only going to look even more beautiful? Kid, you already look stunning!” Your cheeks became hot as they became bright pink.

You mumbled a thank you as you walked back into your room shutting the door before quickly reopening it. “Make yourself comfortable! I shouldn’t be too much longer Hawks!” With that Keigo was left alone in your living room.

Keigo sat down on the couch, extending his wings out, having them cover the couch. He wasn’t left waiting long, barely had time to begin thinking when Y/N walked back out. Seeing them now, fully ready for the date, made his breathing stop. God, you were so stunning. He had already fallen for you but seeing you before him now, he had fallen in love with you all over again.

“You ready pretty boy?” Y/N asked, smiling, a sparkle in their eyes, as they looked at him. God, he was in so deep.

“Oh yeah, you know it baby bird!” He remarked back, offering his hand to you.

“Well, let's go Hawks.” You smiled, taking his hand and leading him to the door.

“Wait.” He called out, stopping himself from walking out the door. “Hawks is my hero name and as wonderful as it sounds coming from your mouth, please call me Keigo.” His face turned bright red, almost afraid of what you would say or think of him sharing his name with you. He rarely shared his name like that, but he trusted you and he knew that this would just be the first of many dates and adventures with you and he so badly wanted to hear you call him by his name. Not his hero name, but his name.

Y/N nodded and smiled, leaning up and kissing his cheek softly. “Well Keigo, let’s go. Our wonderful date and evening awaits.”

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dangerous-mess · 3 years

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Say Anything

Characters: Asra x gender neutral reader

Contains: Asra uses he/they pronouns, mentions of anxiety, mentions of death, hurt/comfort, mentions of a breakdown, mentions of identity crisis, mentions of insecurity, Y/N reader, second person POV

Word Count: 2K+

Asra called out a farewell as the door of the shop closed, leaving you alone. Asra had to go run some errands and promised that he would only be gone for a few hours at most. They also promised to bring back some of the pumpkin bread he knew you loved so much. Of course, you couldn’t argue with that, so you told him goodbye, making sure to give them a small kiss before he walked out. As soon as the door closed, the smile on your face dropped and you let out a sigh that you didn’t realize you were holding. You knew your partner had things to do but you wish he could have stayed in today, to stay with you. Although you know if you simply told them you needed them to stay in, he would drop everything and be there for you, but you already felt like such a burden, your anxiety not helping at all.

Ever since the incident with the devil, you’ve been trying to adapt and reestablish a life for yourself. Although you still didn’t have all the memories from during the plague, you knew enough. You knew you weren’t the same person that Asra or Julian or even Muriel knew. You were different and everyone didn’t seem to care, everyone was just happy to have you back, but you still felt out of place and as if you weren't good enough. You felt like you would never hold Asra’s heart the same way the old you did. Sure, he told you how much he loved you and how much you meant to them but you slowly started to think that maybe he was just saying that. Maybe he was hoping the old you would eventually come back, but the old you was dead. The old you was only ashes in the Lazaret, simply a person of the past.

You felt yourself slowly beginning to get lost in your thoughts and you knew that if you continued to keep thinking over everything you would break down. And the last thing you wanted was for Asra to come back and find you sobbing, so you decided to take a walk. You grabbed one of Asra’s extra scarves and put it on along with a pair of worn out boots you had. You walked out the door and made sure the shop was locked before walking with no destination in mind, just wanted to try and clear your mind. You found yourself heading in the direction of the forest, your thoughts still running. Your mind was running from your own identity and purpose to what Asra’s true feelings and thoughts about you were along with just wondering if you were worth Asra losing half his heart for. Tears began to well up in your eyes and you knew you couldn’t hold it back anymore. You stopped and collapsed on the forest ground and started sobbing. You started to pull the scarf close to you, wishing it was Asra here with you before you took it off and tossed it aside. Your thoughts were against you, with the main one being that Asra doesn’t want you, that he is only taking pity on you.

You continued to sob and cry, even screaming out in anger and frustration as all these emotions hit you. You just had so much on your mind and were consumed with so many different emotions. You just sat on the forest floor for what felt like a few minutes, but time had clearly passed as the sun was beginning to set. You knew you should probably head back to the shop before it got too late, so you wiped away your tears as well as picking up the scarf. You were tempted to put it back on but just couldn’t. You started to make your way out of the forest, with what little light you had. In no time you made it back into town, hearing the ruckus of the townsfolk enjoying their evening. On most other nights you would laugh and join in, probably finding Julian hanging out amongst them causing trouble, but tonight you just weren’t in the mood. So you took some back alleyways to the shop, getting more anxious as you got closer. You arrived at the shop and just stared at the door, you felt yourself reach for the handle, but couldn’t get yourself to open it. You knew Asra was home as the lights were on inside, which only made you more anxious to go inside. You decided to just rip off the band aid and go inside, so with that you started to turn the door handle, only for it to swing open, Asra standing right in front of you.

“Oh Y/N,” he spoke, his voice soft and quiet. They went to reach out for you, to pull you into a hug, but you simply backed away. You saw him freeze before stepping aside and letting you in. You walked in and sat down at the table, not sure what to say. The room was filled with silence for what felt like forever, before Asra spoke up again. “Where did you go? I came back before lunch and saw you gone, I figured you just went to the market for yourself but as it got later into the evening, I got worried.”

You looked down at your hands, realizing they are covered in dirt, but now was not the time to wash them, this conversation needed to happen, even if you wish it could be avoided. You cleared your throat and felt the tears begin to form back in your eyes.

“I went for a walk, just went into the forest is all. I needed some air and some time to think and just lost track of time, don’t worry about me.” You spoke out, your voice trembling as you glanced up and tried to smile at your partner. God, it was going to hurt, you loved him so much but you didn’t want them to feel trapped or that they have to be with you.

You watched Asra move closer to you, placing his hand softly on your cheek, wiping away the tears that had escaped. “Oh darling, what’s got you upset and hurting?”

You felt a sob rising up in your throat as he called you that. You tried to fight it back, you had to for the moment. You needed to get it all out there, to just rip the band aid off. “I’m not the same Y/N you knew before the plague, and I know you loved the old me, but I’ve changed. I’m not the same as I once was and I never will be. I’ll never be the same person you knew and loved before. You don’t have to force yourself to stay with me and you don’t have to pretend you love me.”

You pulled yourself away from him, more tears rolling down your cheeks. You looked at him, knowing this may be your last moment seeing him, even if he looked sad and as if his heart broke.

“I love you Asra, I always will, but I don’t want you to feel as if you have to be with me. I’m sorry if you feel like you have to be with me, to feel pressured to love me all because you gave up half of your heart to bring me back. I’m sorry the old Y/N is gone, I’m sorry for everything. Just give me the word, and I’ll leave. I’m sure Nadia or Portia won’t mind giving me a place to stay so you aren’t stuck with me all the time, and I can just come in when you need help around the shop or I can go and do my own thing, if it hurts you too much to see me and be faced with the constant reminder that I’m not the one you truly love.” You finish your speech, getting all your thoughts out. You looked at your hands, afraid to look at them, you feared what their next words would be. Tears dripped onto your hands and your vision was becoming blurry. The silence seemed to go on for a lifetime and you just wish he would get it over with, that he would break your heart so you weren’t sitting here on the verge of a panic attack.

“Y/N, I love you. I loved the old you, the one from before the plague, but I love the you I brought back. I would bring you back over and over again, cause you are my other half, in more ways than one. Sure, you aren’t the same person I knew and loved from before, but I still love and care for you. You seem so much happier than I ever remember before. You seem so much more confident than you ever have before.” Asra pauses and lifts your head up. You try to avert your eyes elsewhere, but ultimately you are face to face with him. You see his eyes are red and puffy, tears rolling down his cheeks. He takes one hand and cups your cheek and you can’t help but lean into it. He places a small kiss on your forehead before resting his forehead against yours.

“I love you so much Y/N. You are the love of my life, the one I want to be with till the end of time. The thought of losing you again pains me so much. Please, I want you to stay with me, here in the shop, if that’s what you want. If you want to go or if you no longer want to continue what we have, I’ll let you go. I never want you to feel like I’m holding you back, I just want you to be happy, even if that isn’t with me.” Asra chokes up and begins to cry as the words spill out of his mouth.

You feel the sob you’ve been holding back since you’ve got home rise up again, but this time you can’t hold it back. You gently pull away only to suddenly hug your lover. You bury your face in his chest holding onto him tightly, as you sob. Both of you cry in each other's arms, neither of you saying another word. Asra seems to calm down before you, as he begins to rub your back and whispers words of comfort. When you finally begin to calm down you start to pull away, just to be able to look at them.

“I love you, I don’t want to leave you. I want to stay here with you and run the shop and learn magic with you. I want to travel to the ends of the earth and see everything that is out there for us to see. I want to wake up beside you every morning and fall asleep in your arms every night. I just want you, if you’ll have me as the mess I am.” You say as you fidget with your hands, you can feel the dirt on them and it’s starting to bother you. Asra takes one of your hands into theirs and holds it tightly. He offers a small and soft smile to you, leaning in to kiss you softly.

“My love, I will always want you, mess and all.” Those words hit you hard, and before you can process what you are doing, you are pressing your lips against his. Asra of course, kisses you back, for he is never one to complain about any sort of affection you give. Asra swiftly pulls you into their arms and holds you close. You can feel both of your hearts beating as one and in that moment you begin to wonder why you ever thought they didn’t love you in the first place.

“Asra, as much as I would love to stay like this with you for the night, I really need a bath.” You mumble out and you hear them chuckle. Asra stands up, holding on to you as they carry you off to the bath. You hold on to them gently, giving them little kisses on the cheek. In no time the bath is filled and you are stepping into the warm bubbly water. You glance at Asra and give a playful smirk, ��Care to join me?” Asra smirks back and begins to strip before joining you.

#the arcana game #the arcana fanfic #the arcana fanfiction #asra the magician #the arcana asra #the arcana x reader #asra x reader #asra x gender neutral reader #hurt/comfort #angst #angst with comfort #Angst with a happy ending #asra uses he/they pronouns #asra is canonically non binary #second person pov #asra fanfiction #fanfiction

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dangerous-mess · 3 years

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Sneak Peak

Here is a sneak peak of something I’m working on. Sorry I’ve not been too active, school has been keeping me busy. But as the semester winds down and summer starts, get ready for more content! Anyway, enjoy!

Now, he was never coming home. You would never get to hold him in your arms again, or feel his lips against yours. You won’t be able to run your fingers through his hair and wings. He won’t be able to hum you a song as you both fell asleep. You two would never get married or have a family together and the sudden thought of that had you sobbing once again. The tears just ran down your face and wouldn’t stop, they just kept coming and coming. Everything hurt, much more than any injury you’ve ever suffered, your heart had been ripped out.

#fanfiction #fanfiction writer #my hero academia fanfic #my hero academia fanfiction #bnha x reader #bnha fanfiction #bnha #my hero academia #my hero academia x reader #angst #my hero academia sneak peak #fanfiction sneak peak #bnha fanfic sneak peak

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dangerous-mess · 3 years

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Love Letters (Hawks x reader)

Characters: Hawks (mentioned), gender neutral reader

Contains: Fluff just pure fluff, oh also Hawks real name so spoilers for that

Word Count: 425

Y/N sat on the couch, rereading the letter Keigo had sent them. Keigo was currently doing some hero stuff abroad and would be gone for a while, leaving them all alone. It had only been a few weeks already and Y/N was missing him so much. This letter they had received today was a nice turnaround and made things a bit easier.

Hey, baby bird! This absolutely pains me that I’m so far away but you know someone’s gotta be the best hero and that just happens to be your boyfriend. I promise I will fly straight home as soon as I get the word. I miss having you in my arms at night, holding you close to me. Once I get home, it’s over for you for I’m never going to let you go again. This has been so hard already. The number of times I’ve been tempted to just fly back and see you for a few seconds. I just wanna kiss you and hold you close. Curl up and play with your hair and sing to you softly as you drift off to sleep. Protecting you from the nightmares that tend to haunt your thoughts. I wanna be there with you and for you, and I know as a hero I gotta save others and care for the lives of others, but all I want right now is to care for you, my lovely songbird. I love you Y/N. I know this can’t be easy for you, but watch me come out as the top hero. You can brag to all your friends how your boyfriend is the number one hero! I’m gonna make you proud kid, just like you make me so proud. Hang in there for me, and just know I will be home as soon as I can. If you ever need anything don’t hesitate to call me, I’ll try and answer when I can. I love you, Keigo Ps. I know I could have texted you but I wanted to go old school and try sending you a letter. I hoped you liked this. Maybe I’ll write to you some more while I’m away.

You smiled as you finished reading the letter, hugging it close to your chest. God did you miss him, but you knew he would be back soon and that you could make it without him. You knew he was out there trying to make you proud, but little did you know you were already proud of him, you always have been.

#bnha #bnha fanfiction #bnha fanfic x reader #bnha fanfic #bnha hawks #bnha manga spoilers #mha fanfic #mha fanfiction #mha hawks #bnha fluff #bnha sweet hawks #more fanon hawks tbh #i realized i have like 3 or 4 hawks fics i've never posted on here #fluff #love letters

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dangerous-mess · 3 years

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Works Coming Soon...

Posted: 3/10/21

Updated: 3/10/21

My Hero Academia:

- Aizawa x reader [comfort]

- Dabi x reader [angst and fluff]

Marvel

- Bucky Barnes x reader [comfort]

Mystic Messenger

- V x reader [angst, fluff, comfort]

- Saeran x reader [angst]

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dangerous-mess · 3 years

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Loki, Come Down

Characters: Loki, Avengers (mentioned), Thor (mentioned), Tony Stark (mentioned), Chitauri (mentioned)

Contains: Mentions of a suicide attempt, mentions of self harm, mentions of the attack on New York (2012), childhood mentioned, religion and an afterlife mentioned briefly, self hatred

Word Count: 2.1K

Achilles, Achilles, Achilles come down. Won’t you get up off the roof?

After the invasion on New York city and the events that had happened in Asgard, Thor and Loki had returned to New York. Of course, once the brothers moved into the tower things were different. Everyone got along well with Thor as he was included and involved in every meal and activity hosted between missions. Loki, on the other hand, was not. He knew he wasn’t wanted as the room became quiet every time he walked in. It didn’t take a genius to know what was going on. Sure, he should have known everything he did all those years ago won’t go unforgiven overnight, but yet it was as if all of them, Thor included, held his mistakes over his head.

Being the proud god he was, he refused to let how he felt show around anyone. He kept up the same façade, not letting anyone see how he truly was feeling. He slowly spent more time in his room, mostly reading any form of literature he could get his hands on. When he and Thor had first moved into the Thor he was forced to join particular missions and tasks Thor or even other members of the team were called upon to perform, but slowly he was let go and forgotten, as why would anyone trust the deceitful god.

You crazy assed cosmonaut, remember your virtue. Redemption lies plainly in truth

The team had once again been called away on another mission, one that from what he had overheard, would last a while. Which only left him completely alone in the tower. That itself was a blessing and a curse. A blessing as he could roam and not being holed up in his room all day. But unfortunately, it also meant that Stark would most likely be watching the tower, through whatever means possible.

The weeks the Avengers were gone, Loki spent most of his time reading or walking through the halls of the tower. Although he was free to leave the tower whenever he pleased, a part of him was scared to walk through the streets as himself, afraid of how the mere folks of New York would respond to seeing him. Of course, no one knew this. He was a god, and everyone on this planet were mere mortals, he could crush them with the bottom of his boot if he so desired. Yet, after everything he had gone through, specifically everything that had occurred over the last several years, his confidence and self-esteem had slowly gone down the drain. He had begun to hate himself, if he were to be honest, hate himself more than he had prior to being cast out of Asgard. More than he had when he tried to take over New York alongside the Chitauri Army.

He truly realized now, more than he had ever noticed before, that he was a monster. He was much more than feared by the creatures that walked across Earth, he was hated by them as well. He was hated by the Avengers and he knew even his own brother hated him, even if Thor never said so. It was clear to Loki, he wasn’t a mere fool, he was a god. A god who is the master of lies, so of course he can see through the false statements his brother made. He had heard from Thor himself that humans tended to be forgiven creatures, if given time, but that was clearly a lie as well.

The self is not so weightless nor whole and unbroken. Remember the pact of our youth.

Days turned into weeks as weeks turned into months and it eventually felt as if the god himself was simply going through the motions. He began to realize he was losing weight from not eating as much, only going to get food when he was positive everyone within the tower was fast asleep. Even then only taking a bit, no longer wanting to feel as if he was an incontinence or more of a villain for wanting to eat. The time Loki had once spent reading was now spent either sleeping or standing on the balcony looking as everything else was moving, while he felt trapped.

The confidence that once could be seen on the god was gone. His hair is more of a mess, tangled and greasier than it had ever been before. He wasn’t sure when he bathed last and at this point, he had no energy to do so. Any time he attempted to shower, he ended up stripping down completely and staring at his nude self in the mirror. He stood there criticizing every little thing about himself, everything that was wrong with him. Although he was a god, Loki knew that he wasn’t immortal and if he continued down this current path he was on he was bound to kill himself. And for the first time, he wasn’t afraid to die, if anything he wanted to die. He just wanted to rid the world of the monster he was, to ease the stress he put on his brother for existing, and to make the lives of the Avengers better.

In many cultures across history, Loki knew that the act of suicide was considered an honorable act. In many religions however, it was considered a selfish act and would not secure a person’s place in the afterlife. Loki being a god, was unsure what would come of him if he went through with his plan. Would he be allowed into some afterlife or if he would just be gone forever, a corpse lying within a grave who is not welcomed anywhere. Regardless, at this moment, what would be there for him, was not a concern for him in the moment.

As he reflected on his life up to this point, his thoughts often brought him back to his childhood, before things turned sour. Back when his mother was still alive, back when he and Thor were close. Thinking back to that, brought a small sad smile to his face. He longed and missed the sibling rivalry and friendship Thor and him once had. He remembered all the times, Thor would tease him for reading, studying, and practicing magic whereas Thor led a completely different life. But at the end of the day, Thor was his brother and he always made sure to let Loki know before bed how proud of a brother he was and how one day, Loki would be a great King and leader. The smile that he had thinking about the past slowly turned into a frown as tears rolled down his cheeks.

It is empty Achilles, so end it all now. It’s a pointless resistance for you.

Originally he had planned not to write a note, but he felt that he owed his brother that much. So a few days before, Loki sat down on the balcony and using the moonlight, he wrote out a goodbye. He had only meant it to be a few short paragraphs, no more than a page at least. Though, that slowly turned into pages of grief and self-hatred. He wrote pages of apologizes and wishes to take back every mistake and foul sentence he had ever done or spoken into existence. His once neat writing became a mess as he neared the end of the note, the paper stained with his tears. Everything was becoming too real, and as much as the cocky and confident part of the god wanted to back down from this plan, he felt it was far too late. That he had to go through it, soon for that matter.

The day arrived and like every other day, Loki spent most of the day sleeping. When he woke up, he forced himself out of his bed and took a shower for the first time in a long time. He made sure to scrub all the grime and filth that he could psychically wash off himself. He took the time to wash his hair, undoing all the tangles slowly, making sure his hair was back to the way it used to be. After he felt clean enough, he stepped out and dried himself off. As he brushed his teeth, he stared at himself, one last time in the mirror. He could see his ribs poking out, and how thin all of him had become. His skin was paler than it usually was and when he turned to close the door attached to the shower, he saw many strands of his hair covering the shower.

The rest of the day after cleaning himself, was spent sitting on the balcony enjoying the sun and fresh air as he read his favorite book, one last time.

You may feel no purpose nor a point for existing. It’s all just conjecture and gloom

Loki finished the book several hours later, and night had fallen several hours prior. He had used the moonlight as a source of light to finish reading his book, as well as turning the light to his bedroom on. He walked back into his room and sat his book down on his dresser, as he pulled out an outfit. It was the same outfit he wore all that time ago, during the attack on New York. He slipped into it, fixing his hair as he wanted to look perfect. He grabbed the note he had written just nights prior and stuffed it into the pages of the book he was just reading. He grabbed the book and made his way to the bedroom door. As he went to open it, he glanced around his room, taking it all in one last time. He sighed as he opened the door and turned off the light to his room.

He made his way to the stairwell, knowing it would be less likely that he would be stopped or caught by any of the Avengers. He slowly made his way up several flights of stairs, in no rush, taking everything as he knew it would all be over soon. As he made it to the top of the building, he stopped and stared at the entrance to the roof. It was now or never, and he slowly began to have second thoughts. Was this really what he wanted? His hand was shaking as he grabbed the door handle, opening the door. He stepped onto the roof before stopping. He was frozen with fear, one of the few times he truly experienced fear.

And there may be no meaning, so find one and seize it. Do not waste your self on this roof.

Still struck with fear, Loki got his feet to move again and slowly made his way to the edge of the roof. He wrapped his arms around his favorite book, clutching it tightly to his chest. He sat down on the ledge, his feet dangling off, watching as the city was still wide awake even in the middle of the night. Multiple thoughts ran through his head, a split in what he should do. Half of his thoughts were screaming at him to jump, trying to convince him even more that he was a monster who needed to die.

Be real and just jump, you dense motherfucker

While the other half calmly whispered for him to get off the roof, to reassure him that he wasn’t a monster. That if he just went and talked to Thor and Stark as well as the rest of the Avengers maybe things could change.

Don’t listen, Achilles. You’re worth more, Achilles.

Soon enough both thoughts were overlapping and he could no longer tell right from wrong. He was becoming frustrated just wanting an answer, just wanting to know what to do. He wasn’t sure if it was out of frustration or anger but before he could stop himself, he let out a scream. He just screamed and yelled at the universe, cursing it for all the pain and sorrow it had brought upon him and his life. Tears rolled down his cheeks, as he spilt out all the emotions he had bottled up inside for so long. Soon his voice became hoarse and all that came out was whimpers as the tears just kept coming. The dam within him had broken and everything was spilling out.

Clothe yourself in beauty untold and see life as a means to a triumph.

As Loki began to calm down, he realized he didn’t want to go through with this, at least not today. He slowly turned and moved his legs back onto the rooftop, clinging on to the book even tighter than he had earlier. He made his way off the roof and snuck back to his room. He would live to see another day, maybe things would get better with time, and if not the rooftop would always be waiting for him.

How you will heal and you'll rise above. Crowned by an overture bold and beyond. Ah, it's more courageous to overcome

#marvel fanfic #marvel fanfiction #marvel avengers fanfic #marvel loki fanfic #marvel loki fanfiction #loki (marvel)#angst #fanfiction #fanfic #songfic #marvel #the avengers #the avengers post 2012 #mentions of tony stark #mentions of thor #mentions of the avengers #asgard

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dangerous-mess · 3 years

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Achilles Come Down

Characters: Shinsou x gender neutral reader

Contains: Mentions of suicide attempt, mentions of self harm, mentions of stress, mentions of minor character deaths, relationship issues, Pro Hero Shinsou. This story contains a lot of heavy and sensitive material, please read at your own risk.

Word Count: 2.7K

Achilles, Achilles, Achilles come down. Won’t you get up off, get up off the roof.

Y/N stood near the ledge of the building, looking down at the chaos of the traffic below. The chill air blew in their face, making shivers cover their arms. Part of them wanted to back out now and just go back inside, where it would be warm, but the little voice within their mind told them this needed to be done. They needed to go ahead and be up here, and they needed to jump before he got home. Y/N knew that as soon as he got home from patrolling that it was over, they would be talked off the edge and back inside.

Y/N slowly and carefully sat down, wanting to spend their final moments, being at peace and calming their nerves before making the leap. Y/N never planned to end up nor did they really want to jump. But things had just gotten so tough lately and it was hard for them to find a reason to keep going. Sure, they had their boyfriend, but Y/N was beginning to feel more like a bother and problem than a decent partner, which was definitely putting a strain on the relationship.

Y/N was struggling with finishing grad school and was tempted to just give up most days, and with the recent loss of their mother, things had only become more difficult. Y/N was close to their mother, more so their mother was one of the biggest supporters in their life, so when she died, it was almost like Y/N was unable to recover. They went to therapy and found local groups to help deal with grief but nothing seemed to help. It didn’t help that their boyfriend, Shinsou was becoming busier being a pro hero, which meant he was homeless and less. So most of the time Y/N was left alone.

Though, in this time alone Y/N began to find ways to relieve any stress from school and to help the grief hurt a little less. They fell back into the hands of self-hatred and the cruel knife it wielded. As their mind wandered to the cruelness they brought upon themselves and looked at their scarred arms, it brought tears to their eyes. Y/N knew life wasn’t supposed to go like this, it was supposed to be a happy ending, just like they were promised so long ago. Their mother always spoke about how they would find their prince charming and would be swept away in a loving relationship and live happily ever after. And for a while, Y/N felt that they had found their happily ever after, but after the death of their mother and Shinsou’s work schedule, that ever after didn’t seem as real anymore.

You’re scaring us, and all of us. Some of us love you. Achilles, it’s not much but it’s proof.

Did Y/N still love Shinsou? Of course, they did, but things were more complicated now than ever before. He was gone so much, his work schedule hectic and with their classes and job, both of them hardly saw each other. Even in the shared apartment, they owned and the bed they shared, most nights the best was half full, one of them missing. At first, Shinsou not being home most nights really hurt Y/N, but as it happened more often they grew numb and used to it.

Y/N loved Shinsou, they remember the first day they met him. He came into the café that was closest to UA. He had come in one afternoon after classes had let out and ordered a black coffee with 4 espresso shots. Y/N remembers being taken back by this order, but still made it. Eventually, Shinsou became a regular customer and got the same order every visit. The more he came in, the more the two exchanged words and got to know each other. Y/N remembers the day they were brave enough to write their number on his cup and how nervous they were the rest of their shift. Shinsou, of course, texted them right away and they slowly began talking.

The rest of their relationship went from there, both of them growing closer every day. Y/N was there when Shinsou was moved to the hero course and learned to strengthen and embrace his quirk and what he could do. From there he graduated and started training and making his way up the ranks of being a pro hero. All while Y/N continued on with school in hopes to follow their dream of going into psychology and psychiatric work. Together they found a small place on the far side of town, a quiet and safe place for them both. A place they called their home and could be together after a long day, in peace. As the two grew older and their schedules grew busier they grew further apart. The talk of their future together became a distant memory and Y/N secretly longed for it.

When Shinsou was home, he hardly spoke much to Y/N. He would say hello and say a quick I love you, before going off to eat, shower, and sleep, all within that order. When both would be in the same bed, Shinsou no longer would hold Y/N and no longer let them hold him, they were just completely against any affection, which was completely odd for Y/N knew he loved affection. And as a very affectionate individual Y/N needed the affection as well, and just wanted to know they were still loved and appreciated by their boyfriend. Y/N knew they still loved and cared for Shinsou somewhere within them, but whether or not he felt the same was unknown. For saying the words “I love you” was one thing, but meaning it was another. For all they knew, it could be a force of habit for him at this point and he just didn’t mean it at all.

Remember your virtue. Redemption lies plainly in truth. Just humor us Achilles. Achilles come down, won’t you get up off, get up off the roof.

Some would claim there are other ways to fix issues and problems going on within a person’s life, but for Y/N this was the only answer. The main support from their mother no longer existed. Then there was the loving relationship that was failing and no longer sparked the same joy and happiness it once did. And maybe Y/N wasn’t to blame for it all, but they took it upon their self. In their eyes, it was their fault for everything, and maybe if they only focused and stopped worrying about things would have turned out differently. As time passed, Y/N became more anxious about going through with this. They had begun to have second thoughts and maybe, just maybe, there was another solution to their problems. But the voice in the back of their mind egged them on, convincing them that they needed to jump and sooner rather than later. This was the only answer, the correct solution that would make everything better for everyone. And Y/N knew if they were still on the ledge by the time Shinsou got home, it was over. They would break down and run to his arms, seeking comfort even if he truly no longer loved them or cared.

Y/N sighed and began to push their self up, finally done making peace with what needed to be done. They were ready to jump and finally be free. Their nerves began kicking in as they looked down and saw a small crowd forming below, clear they were concerned for Y/N perched upon the roof’s ledge. It was only a matter of time before a hero or worse Shinsou arrived at the scene.

The self is not so weightless, nor whole and unbroken. Remember the pact of our youth. Where you go, I’m going. So jump and I’m jumping, since there is no me without you.

The door from the roof access point slammed open and a voice called out, “Y/N, dear please get away from the ledge.” Well speaking of the devil, it was Shinsou. He must have heard the news about a crowd forming around Y/N and their building and assumed the worst, though it was unclear if the Shinsou on the roof was the pro hero or their boyfriend, both two different people.

Y/N shook their head, never once turning back to look. They knew if they turned around and saw his dark purple eyes it would be over. And Y/N had to do this, it was for the better, wasn’t it? “N-no I need to do this. It’s for the best, I can finally be free Shinsou. I can finally be free of all hurt and pain I’m feeling. Don’t you want me to be happy?” Y/N yelled back, their eyes never once leaving the ever-growing crowd below.

“Y/N, please don’t do this, we can get you help. We can work through this together sweetheart, just get down and let’s talk about this, okay?” Shinsou spoke, his tone of voice never shaking or quivering, almost as if he was incapable of any emotions or feelings. Y/N sighed, tears starting to form in their eyes. Of course even during their lowest and darkest moment, as they stood on the ledge, he didn’t truly care. Typical Shinsou.

Y/N went to respond to Shinsou, barely catching themself when they realized Shinsou ended his sentence with a question. He was trying to use his quirk on them, so they would get off the ledge and he could be the hero everyone loved and adored, but Y/N wouldn’t let him have that satisfaction. So Y/N resorted to simply shaking their head no.

How the most dangerous thing is to love. How you will heal and rise above.

Y/N could hear Shinsou’s feet tap against the rooftop, meaning he was moving closer to them. This only caused Y/N to let out a groan. God, why was he making this so complicated and difficult, didn’t he realize how better this would be? Could he just stop being the hero for once and let things play out how it should go?

“You were always too smart for your own good, Y/N. So I’ll make you a deal, I won’t use my quirk on you, but please just come off the ledge. Let’s just talk about it, explain to me what’s going on in your head. I can’t help you if you don’t let me in.” Shinsou pleaded, the sound of his footsteps stopping. Y/N turned out slightly, to see him standing only a few feet away, both of them a little more than arm’s length apart.

“Shinsou, just give up the hero act, alright? There is only one way I’m getting off this ledge and we both know how I’m going. You can’t save me, you had your chance but you were too absorbed in your hero work and being a hero to everyone else except to me. Just give up already, it’s over.” Y/N cried out, tears running down their face, as they locked eyes with their boyfriend. They watched as tears ran down his cheeks. It hurt Y/N to see him hurting so much but they needed to go through with this, it was the only way.

“Y/N….please. I love you, baby, don’t do this.” Was all Shinsou could muster out, a sob escaping from him. Y/N knew the man on the roof was no longer the pro hero but their boyfriend, which only made this so much more difficult. Part of them was tired and ready to fling them self off the roof and to finally be at peace, while the other half was tied down by the love they held and had for Shinsou.

You may feel no purpose nor a point for existing. It’s all just conjecture and gloom. And there may not be meaning so find one and seize it. Do not waste your self on this roof.

“You don’t understand, do you? I have to fucking do this Shinsou, I just need to go through with this but god you are making it so hard for me to jump. I hate that I love you and the feelings I have for you are the only thing keeping me on this ledge right now and I hate that. I hate the effect you have on me and how you just make everything so difficult!” Y/N screamed out, their entire body shaking, tears pouring down their face.

Slowly but surely, Y/N sat down on the ledge, just sobbing. Y/N could see Shinsou moving closer to them now but they were too tired to fight it anymore. They let their boyfriend come and pull them off the ledge and into his arms. Shinsou held them close, both of them crying. Neither said a word though, Y/N’s mind was still running, the urge to fling them self off the roof still a prominent thought in their mind.

“Shinsou...I need help. I don’t think I wanna die, even if every part of me is craving and wanting me to. Wanting me to hurt myself and others. Wanting me to just run and fall off this roof. I’m just so tired, I don’t wanna do anything anymore and just everything is falling apart.” Y/N cried more into their boyfriend’s hero gear, gripping onto the sleeve of his uniform tightly, scared if they let go, Shinsou would be gone and they would be alone once more on the ledge.

How the most dangerous thing is to love. How you’ll heal and rise above. Crowned by an overture bold and beyond. Ah, it’s more courageous to overcome.

“Sweetheart, we will get through this together. I’ll help you get the help you want and need and be there by your side through it all. I love you, I don’t wanna lose you.” Shinsou quietly whispered into your ear, afraid if he would speak up he would start crying once again.

“Shi...you don’t gotta lie anymore, I...I know you are losing feelings and it’s okay. You can move on and be happy being a hero with me supporting you in another way that isn’t your partner.”

Shinsou upon hearing this, gently pushed back and looked Y/N in the eyes. “Y/N, what are you talking about? I still love you so dearly and wanna be with you, where did that come from?”

“You’ve been distant lately and well I just assumed you no longer cared or worse...no longer loved me…” Y/N mumbled out, looking away from him, afraid to make eye contact with him right now.

He gently grabbed their chin and turned their head so they were looking at each other. “Y/N, I love you with all that I am. Without you, I don’t think I would have made it this far. I don’t think I would have become a pro hero or anything. You showed me what love is and I’m sorry I’m not the best at it giving you the same treatment and love you give me. And lately? God, I’m so sorry about lately and I know there are no excuses here. I’ve just been stressed from work and nervous.” He moved his hand so that it was on Y/N’s cheek. “It was going to be a surprise, but nervous cause I’m planning to propose to you Y/N.”

“Shinsou….I’m so-”

“Stop, you have nothing to apologize for one this matter baby. I shouldn’t have pushed you away the way I did, that’s my fault.” He placed a small kiss on their forehead.

And see life as a means to a triumph, today of all days.

Both slowly got up and went to the roof access door. It was going to be a long journey to recover for Y/N, but they were no longer afraid. Of course, there would be road bumps and difficulties along the way, these thoughts never truly going away, at least not overnight. But, with Shinsou by their side, it would be a little more bearable. They were given a purpose to live and keep going. Y/N had Shinsou and to some, that may not seem like much, but at that moment, it was just enough.

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dangerous-mess · 3 years

Text

Body (Tamaki x ftm! reader)

Characters: Tamaki, ftm or masc reader

Warnings: Mentions of dysphoria, mentions of a breakdown, hurting reader, comfort, fluff

Y/n sat on the bathroom floor, only wrapped up in a towel, tears rolling down his cheeks. Water fell off the tips of his hair to the floor, leaving small puddles that surrounded him. He needed a shower, as he hadn’t taken one in several days due to his dysphoria and even though he was still dysphoric as ever he thought he could do it. And at first, he did, but the moment he went to wash his body, it was over and done with. His body was his but at the same time, it wasn’t. He hated his body and just wished he could afford the surgeries needed to make his body more of what made him comfortable. He wanted a flat chest more than anything. The fat on his chest possessed so much more weight on him than anything else.

So there he was, sitting on the floor, alone in his apartment, sobbing in the middle of the bathroom floor. He knew his boyfriend won’t be back for a while, as he was busy lately with hero work, giving Y/N plenty of time to clean himself up and put back on the fake façade that everything was okie.

Y/N was in the process of getting up off the floor, finally going to try and put some clothes on and begin to compose himself. He readjusted the towel, wrapping it tightly around his body, covering up his chest the best he could. As he went to open the bathroom door, he heard the front door of the apartment close, signaling that his boyfriend was home. This only caused Y/N to panic, as he was naked in the bathroom, still trying to recover from the breakdown as well as not expecting his boyfriend to be home so soon. He had been coming home late recently so him being home before the sunset was shocking. On a normal day, this would make Y/N happy as he would be able to spend quality time with his boyfriend, Tamaki, but today was not a normal day and Y/N just wanted to be left alone.

“Y/N, I’m home,” Tamaki called out, causing Y/N to panic more. He needed to get clothes from the bedroom but he didn’t want Tamaki to see him naked or even see him at all right now. Y/N relocked the door and shut off the bathroom light, before sitting on the floor, his back against the door. Maybe Tamaki would assume he wasn’t home, but that still didn’t solve the issue of getting clean clothes.

“Y/N honey, are you here?” Tamaki called out once again, Y/N could hear a quiver in his voice, knowing he was starting to grow anxious. He completely forgot he usually greeted him when he came home or left a note when he went out. God, his head was a mess and he just wanted to curl up and cry.

Without meaning to Y/N let the back of his head hit the bathroom door, making a knocking sound. Y/N mumbled some curses as he heard footsteps grow closer to the door before there was a soft knocking on the other side of the bathroom.

“Bunny, why are you in the bathroom with the lights off?” Tamaki questioned him, his voice filled with concern and worry. This just made Y/N feel bad cause he hated making Tamaki worry about him. He hated it when he broke down and was dysphoric. He felt so weak and not good enough like he wasn’t good enough for Tamaki. He started to cry again, letting out a small whimper.

“Y/N, can I come in please?” His boyfriend asked, clearly hearing him crying.

“N-no. You can’t see me like this. I’m disgusting.” Y/N whispered out, unsure if he heard you or not. Tears rolled down his cheeks as he tried to muffle the sob that was about to break loose. In the end, the sob broke loose and Y/N just sat there sobbing, alone in the bathroom in the dark. The longer they were alone, the more they longed for Tamaki and just to be held. Maybe he would make things a little more bearable, so with a shaky hand, Y/N moved away from the door just enough to unlock and open it. There he saw Tamaki sitting on the floor, a worried expression on his face. When he saw Y/N faintly he quickly moved closer.

“Oh, bunny.” Was all Tamaki said, looking at him sadly. Y/N watched Tamaki get up and walk away. Y/N assumed Tamaki was just tired of dealing with this, tired of dealing with him and this only caused him to cry even more. He was so in his head that he didn’t see his boyfriend come back with some clothes.

“Hey, Y/N it's okie. I just went to get you some clothes. I thought you would be more comfortable to talk and uhh held if you weren’t...ya know...wrapped in a towel.” Tamaki stumbled over the words, a light blush on his cheeks. Y/N nodded and took the clothes, closing the bathroom door and quickly putting them on before opening the door once more.

Y/N stood wearing his sweatpants and one of Tamaki’s baggy shirts. Y/N kept pulling at the front of the shirt, trying to hide his chest and make it less prominent. Tamaki pulled him into his arms, hugging him tightly. “One of those days?” he whispered, just standing there holding him close.

Y/N nodded before forcing himself to talk. “It hasn’t been this bad in a while but I just caught a glimpse of my chest while showering and that was it. I hate my body, it's just all wrong. I don’t understand how you could love someone like me, I’m just a mess.”

Tamaki held him close, rubbing small circles on his back. Y/N tried to ground himself at the moment, hoping it would help him calm down. He realized at that moment that Tamaki wasn’t in his hero outfit, he was in his normal clothes. Y/N took that moment and gripped onto his shirt, feeling the texture, the scent of the detergent used to wash their clothes, hitting his nose. The sound of Tamaki’s heartbeat filling the quiet. “Y/N...I love you. I love you for a lot of reasons and I know I’m not always good at sharing them out loud, but I love you. I don’t see anything wrong with you, even if you do. I see a handsome guy in front of me that I’m so grateful to call mine, my boyfriend. You may be a mess, but so am I. I’m a mess and you still love me, right?” He paused and pulled back a bit to look at Y/N who only nodded. “So see, if you love me and all my messiness, I’m gonna love you in all of yours. We are in this together, you and I. We can overcome any obstacle that gets thrown our way. You help me through all the obstacles I face so let me help you through yours. I know it’s hard and I don’t and won’t ever know how you are feeling and going through but I still wanna help and support you any way I can Y/N.”

Y/N cried even harder, hugging his boyfriend tightly just mumbling thank you and I love you over and over again. Tamaki kissed his head softly, just holding him close. Eventually, they slowly moved to the living room, where Tamaki pulled Y/N into his lap and held him close. For a while, both of the men sat there, the only noise was the sniffling that came from Y/N. Tamaki occasionally whispered out loving words, trying his best to help his boyfriend.

Eventually, Y/N calmed down and just held onto his boyfriend tightly. “Thank you…” Y/N mumbled into his boyfriend's chest. “I just love you so much, you are too good to me.”

Tamaki leaned down and kissed Y/N’s head. “I love you more. You deserve all the goodness. Plus as a hero, I have to save and protect everyone, that includes you. Whether it’s from villains or yourself, I’ll be here to save you.”

Y/N lifted his head up and looked at his boyfriend. “Do you mean that?” Tamaki smiled and nodded in response. This caused a small smile to form on Y/N’s face as he lifted up his hand. “Pinky promise?” Tamaki chuckled and interlocked his pinkie with Y/N’s. “Pinky promise bunny, I promise.” With that he leaned down and kissed him softly, holding him close as they spent the rest of the evening in each other’s arms.

#bnha imagines #bnha fanfiction #bnha x reader #bnha x trans reader #bnha x male reader #tamaki amajiki x reader #my hero academia fanfiction #my hero academia #pro hero tamaki amajiki #tamaki amajiki #angst #hurt #comfort #mentions of dysphoria #mentions of breakdown #fluff #use of pet names #bnha fanfic

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dangerous-mess · 3 years

Text

Update

Currently working on some things.

Working on some Bakugou and Kiri POV for Breakeven (Part 1 to Breakeven and Part 2 to Breakeven)

As well as a Part 2 to It Took Me By Surprise

Also working on a more light hearted fluff piece so stay tuned for that!

I am opening up requests to do between working on these main things.

- Currently just writing for My Hero Academia but do plan on expanding that in the coming months!

- Will do almost any character (feel free to ask if you have any questions!)

- Fluff, angst, au, etc..

- Brief Description of what you would like

- Either Character x reader, Character x Character, or Character x OC if you give details about the OC

#open to requests #writing requests #bnha requests #bnha #bnha fanfiction #my hero academia #my hero academia fanfiction #bnha x reader #bnha x reader fanfic #bnha fanfic x reader #fanfiction #fanfiction writer #mentions breakeven #mentions bakugou #bnha bakugou #mentions kirishima #bnha kirishima

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dangerous-mess · 3 years

Text

Breakeven (Kirishima x Bakugo x reader) Part 2

Characters: Bakugo, Kirishima, gender neutral reader, Dabi, mentions of Twice, mentions of Toga

Contains: Polyam relationships, language, implied that someone is drugged, implied of torture, kidnapping, nightmares, implied ptsd, arguing, manga spoilers (chapters 290 and 293), mentions of Bakugou’s hero name, mentions lov, filled with a lot of angst for a while, eventual fluff and happy ending I swear, time skips

Word Count: 6K+

Months had passed since the encounter you had with Kirishima, and since then you had not heard from either of your ex-boyfriends. A part of you enjoyed the break, finally able to focus on yourself and your job. You slowly started to work longer shifts just to keep yourself busy, not sure what to do with the extra time on your hands. Though you would never admit it or say it out loud, you felt like you were missing a few pieces. You tried to fill the void that was left from the breakup, but nothing seemed to work. Eventually, you gave in to your mom’s constant pestering and decided to try the whole dating scene again.

During this time you felt drawn to call or even text the two pro heroes who had stolen your heart all those years ago, but you knew it wouldn’t be worth it, afraid of being hurt once more by the two heroes. So with your busy schedule and being having the advantage as you did in high school, you did the only logical thing. You downloaded a dating app and before clocking into work for the day you made sure to have a profile set up hoping to match with some people during breaks.

You felt giddy, to say the least when you went on your first break of the day. You sat down and quickly pulled out your phone and opened the app. You began looking at profiles, swiping left or right depending on whether or not you felt you two would connect. One profile stood out the most to you, a young man, who appeared to be a bit older than you, You swiped right in a heartbeat and saw that the two of you had matched. You felt your heart skip a beat, quickly checking the time. You had five minutes left before you had to return to work, so you quickly typed out a message to this handsome stranger whose name was Touya. You made sure to apologize in advance for any daily, explaining you were currently at work and about to get off your break.

The rest of your shift went by quickly and you didn’t dare check your phone until you got home. You opened up the app as soon as you closed and locked the door to your apartment, happy to see that the man had replied. He was sweet and kind, and surprisingly wasn’t trying to force anything upon you right away. You texted him late into the night before he excused himself saying that he had work. You bid goodbye as he made a promise to message you when he got the chance. For the first time in a long time, you fell asleep happy, a smile plastered on your face.

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The next few weeks were amazing, to say the least, in your eyes anyway. You finally felt like you found the piece you were missing and felt like things were finally falling into place. You and Touya had talked more often the past few weeks, even going as far and exchanging numbers and calling on the phone. You weren’t in love with him by any means, but just hearing his voice, definitely caused some butterflies to form in your stomach. His voice was just soothing and relaxing. It was calming you down after the intense days at the hospital and a part of you so desperately wanted to meet him, to go on a date with this sweet stranger. So that night when he called you, you took a chance and decided to take a chance and ask him.

“Hey Touya,” You whispered out, as you laid in bed, not wanting the moment to end. You heard him let out a small grunt as a response and you continued on with your question, “Can we, I mean, would you like to go on a date sometime?” You knew your voice quivered and you knew he heard it. There was silence for a moment and you began to shake and feel the tears well up in your eyes.

Finally, he spoke out, apologizing for the delay, he was just so caught off guard, before continuing on, answering the question. “When were you wanting to go on this date, cause if you aren’t busy we could go now? I know a café that just opened we can go to if you’d like.”

You quickly wiped your eyes, a smile growing on your face as the butterflies danced around in your stomach. “That sounds perfect, I’ll get ready if you wanna just text me the address.” You replied as you started to push yourself out of bed.

“Oh, I can give you time and just come pick you up, if you are okay with that.” He mumbled out, and before you could truly process the statement, you agreed. You gave him your address and he gave you a time he would be over, and with that, you hung up and began getting ready for the date.

Now, you weren’t an idiot, and as someone who had dated two pro heroes in the past, one would think you would be smarter than to give a random stranger whom you’ve never met in person and haven’t seen minus his dating profile your number, nevertheless your address, but you trusted this man. Though you would soon learn that was a mistake, and you should have taken better precautions, but alas it was too late.

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You had gotten ready in no time, texting Touya that you were about ready if he wanted to start to head over, to which he replied that he was almost there. You felt your stomach fill with butterflies at the thought of meeting the guy who had brought light back into your life and made you feel like you mattered once more. You were brought back to reality by the sound of your phone going off, letting you know you had a new text, of course, you weren’t surprised to see it was from Touya. He said he was outside and you said you were on your way out. You were smiling like an idiot as you made your way out of the apartment and down to the lobby and front door. As you were about to walk out he said he parked in the alley beside the apartment complex. You thought that was a little weird but shook off the feeling and went out the door and towards the alleyway.

As you approached the alleyway, you didn’t see any car nor did you see anyone either. You called out for Touya before you felt an arm wrap around you from behind.

“Hey Doll,” The voice whispered out and it didn’t take you long to piece that the voice belonged to Touya. You went to turn around, hoping that this was all some prank he was pulling on you, but instead, you were met with a face you didn’t recognize.

“Touya?” You whispered out, your voice cracking at the end, fear starting to settle, as you began to realize what was happening. You started to try and get out of his arm, but his grip on you only tightened. It was a time like this you wished you kept up the training Bakugou forced you to do back at UA.

“How now, little mouse, don’t fight. You’ll only make this harder than it needs to be.” He whispered in your ear, sending a shiver down your spine. You started to feel sick to your stomach and realized how big of an idiot you really were. Based on what you knew, you needed to get away or get help now, as your chances of survival decreased by half the moment you are taken away.

You opened your mouth to scream, but was quickly met with a cloth covering your mouth and nose. You tried to hold your breath and not fall victim to this man, but in the end, you failed. You felt the world slowly start to spin and everything starts to go black. The last thing you heard before you were met with total darkness was ‘Touya’ speaking. “Guess you wanted to do things the hard way.”

You woke up what felt like hours later with a massive headache. You tried to move only to realize you were bound to a pole. The room you were in was dark and it was hard to make out anything. You tried to make out some noise, to hopefully call for help or to grab the attention of your capture. You only were able to let out a small groan which wasn’t that loud but clearly loud enough as you heard a voice start to speak from within the darkness.

“Well, well, well. Finally, you are awake, was getting a bit worried for a moment there that the batch was too strong, and killed you.” The voice spoke and before you knew it you were blinded as light filled the room. Your eyes began to readjust and there you saw him, ‘Touya’. You tried to move away from him as he approached you, but you couldn’t, you were just stuck. He stood in front of you for a moment, looking down at you, as if you were beneath him, and honestly, at this moment, you were. He crouched down, making sure he was eye level with you, and slowly lifted his hand, placing it on your cheek. You tried to move your head away from his hand, but that did no good.

“Touya…” You whispered out, your throat dry, making it difficult to get any words out. You looked at him, only to see him pull his hand back before it collided with your cheek. You flinched and fought back the tears that you could feel forming.

“Don’t you dare ever call me that. You’re lucky I let you use it this long. It’s Dabi, do you understand?”

You quickly nodded, fear just continuing to grow. You needed to get out of here or at least find a way to call for help. You had the next few days off work so it would be a few days before anyone even noticed you were missing unless of course, your mother decided to drop in and check on you, but that was a slim chance. You tried to think through a plan, your thoughts drowning out Dabi’s voice. You kept trying to remember everything Bakugou and Kirishima taught you in case something like this happened, but your mind was just going blank.

You were drawn back into reality by a sharp pain on the other side of your face. You looked at Dabi, who appeared to be growing annoyed and pissed off. “Listen to me when I'm talking to you, got it? Trust me you don’t wanna mess with me or anyone else here. We will be your worst nightmare.” You nodded and looked down, too afraid to make eye contact with him. But at least you learned something, he wasn’t alone.

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The next few days were long and torturous. Dabi came to visit often, mostly to degrade you. You slowly began to piece together why you were here and who this group of people were, based on interactions you had with others that Dabi had mentioned on your first day. They were called the League of Villains, which you were familiar with, though you were told that heroes had handled and defeated them years prior, but clearly, that was all a lie. You questioned if the pros knew of this and secretly hoped and prayed that they did and someone would find you sooner than later. You could feel yourself growing weaker every day and as much as you tried to play the hero, it did no use. You were useless against Dabi and the league.

As days turned into weeks you could feel your mental state deteriorating, you won’t be able to hang in much longer. One particular day, one that was quite different than the rest before. You were left alone. No one came in to bring you some scraps and water, no one came to suck the life out of you. You just were met with silence, at least until you heard things crashing from up above. You assumed Twice or Toga had pissed off Dabi again and just ignored it, that was until you heard a familiar voice. A voice you hadn’t heard in so long and you were so grateful to hear it. You tried to call out and get the attention of those on the floor above, but you were weak and couldn’t muster anything louder than a whisper. You began to cry, knowing this was possibly the only chance you had to gain freedom and to be saved from the hell you were in. You kept trying to scream out, to call out for the pro heroes above, but nothing seemed to be working. Even as you heard someone fidget with the door handle at the top of the stairs, you couldn’t make enough noise to get anyone’s attention, at least so you thought.

The door eventually opened and the sound of footsteps came down the stairs. It was dark in the room and you were afraid it was Dabi and could feel your whole body begin to shake, your mind only thinking the worst. Had the heroes lost and you were forever stuck here, with the league. You were going to die here, you would never get to see Kirishima and Bakugou again. You would never be able to tell them how much you still loved them, how much you wanted to try again. You cried harder than you were before, when you felt a pair of hands touch your shoulder, you tried to move away before you heard a comforting voice.

“Y/N, is this you?” It was Kiri’s voice, you tried to let out a yes or something, but just nothing came out. “Dynamight, have you found the light switch yet, it’s hard to see who this is.” He spoke out into the dark, which you heard a voice grumble out, curses flying out. Suddenly the room filled with light and once your eyes adjusted you saw red eyes staring at you. He gave you a sad smile before telling you what he was about to do, as he moved to undo your bindings.

Everything started to happen too fast. You felt the bindings come undone and you were lifted off the ground. You could see Kirishima, or at this moment, Red Riot’s mouth moving but you couldn’t process what he was saying. You wrapped your arms around him tightly as he carried you out of the League’s base and to the ambulance that was waiting outside. He handed you off to the paramedics. You could tell he wanted to go with you, and you desperately wanted to call out to him, and to Bakugou to come with you. They were the only thing you wanted right now, but before you could, the doors slammed shut and your check-up began as you were taken to the hospital. You don’t remember much after that as you could feel your eyelids getting heavy as you passed out.

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Everything was bright, almost too bright and it hurt your eyes. You woke up in the hospital to the sunlight filling up your room. You could hear monitors beeping, letting you know that you were alive. You looked around and saw you were connected to a few machines as well as had an IV drip. And to your surprise, by the windows, you saw two men sleeping. The two men you had been yearning for, deep down, for some time. You cleared your throat, hoping to be able to get their attention, and it worked. Both of them shot up from the chairs, rushing to your side. You offered them both a small smile as they both just stared at you. It was silent for a moment before Kirishima excused himself to go get a doctor or nurse, to let them know you were awake. That just left you and Bakugou alone, and as glad as you were to see him, the last time you were alone with him, things didn’t go well. So needless to say, you were nervous. He glanced down at the bed and back at you as if he was asking permission to sit, so you moved your legs some so he had a room as he sat on the bed, his eyes never once leaving yours.

“Y/N, listen. I’m not good at this type of thing but I just want to say I’m sorry.” He shifted his eyes down, now staring at his hands. He was picking at the skin around his nails, his hands clearly shaking. “I’m sorry for how I treated you that day in the hospital, I shouldn’t have hit you. I’m sorry for making you feel so left out and like we...like I didn’t care or love you. Cause I did, and well still love you.” You tried to reach out and place your hand on him, but due to all the wiring and the IV, it was nearly impossible.

You watched him, as he kept messing with his fingers, his head down. “I worried about you when I got the word you were missing and fuck Y/N, my heart dropped when I heard the league had gotten a hold of you. My mind just kept replaying the last time I saw you, the last thing I did was hit you and I was so afraid that would be the last memory you would have of me, of us.” He turned his head, looking at you as tears ran down his face. You had never seen him this upset before, not like this. He was never one to truly express emotions the same way as others did, so seeing him in this state, made you just want to comfort him. To let him know you forgave him for the wrongdoings, and most importantly that you still loved him more than anything else. But you didn’t get the chance as the door to your room opened as a doctor and Kirishima walked into the room.

You watched Bakugou quickly wipe away the tears on his face and move to the other side of the room, where Kiri soon joined him. The doctor went over everything but you couldn’t focus on what he was saying, you only kept glancing over at the two men across the room. You were going to be in the hospital a little longer, just to make sure you were truly fine, which you weren’t looking forward to. After the doctor left, both of the men stared at you, none of you saying a word. You worked up the strength and courage to speak up, quickly taking a small sip of the water nearby.

“Eijiro...Katsuki..” You spoke out, your voice shaky, just barely above a whisper, but they both still heard you as they made their way towards you. You felt tears start to well up in your eyes as you looked at them. “I...I’ve missed you both so much.” That was all you managed to get out before you started sobbing. Kiri gently wrapped you in a hug as Bakugou held one of your hands. You tried to get more words out, but the tears kept coming and you just could not form any words. The three of you stayed like that for a while, just comforting each other, putting all of your hearts at ease for the first time in a while.

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You were discharged from the hospital in no time and slowly readjusted to normal life once again. You weren’t allowed to return to work quite yet, which did throw off your routine a bit, but it just gave you a chance to settle back into a safe environment. Which was a lot harder than you thought. During the day, things were fine and you went about your day, but by the time night settled, you couldn’t fall asleep without having nightmares from your time with Dabi and the league. And though, the three of you had started to form a friendship again, you were nervous to call them up during the late hours. Worried that you would be waking them from a well-deserved rest or from a patrol. There was also a part of you that was afraid of being pushed away once more, the fear of being the third wheel or shoved aside just to keep up an image, you weren’t ready for that heartache again.

One night, in particular, it got worse. You woke up to yourself screaming and crying, your body completely drenched in sweat. Before you could even process what you were doing, you grabbed your phone and texted the group chat you were in with the two of them. You were quick to receive a message back, but before you could fully read it, your phone started to ring as Bakugou was calling you. You answered the phone, hearing both of the men on the other line, asking if you were okay. All you could do was cry out before they said they were on their way over. Kirishima talked to you on the phone the entire time, as you learned Bakugou was driving. You couldn’t process or even fully comprehend everything that was being said, it even took you several moments to understand that you needed to go let them into your apartment once they arrived.

You let them in, and it took no time for both of them to be at your side, comforting you any way they could. Kirishima tried rubbing your back and offering affection and his support that way, while Bakugou sat beside you, whispering that he was there to listen when you were ready to talk about it. It took a while, but eventually, you calmed down. You quietly thanked them both for coming over, not sure what else to say or do, as you didn’t want to talk about the nightmare, even if it would do more good to do so. It was just difficult, to form into words and then not be seen as weak or receive pity for how you were feeling. You bid them goodbye and thanked them again for coming over, as you made your way to the kitchen to make some tea, as you had decided to stay up a bit longer, afraid of what twisted things awaited you once you closed your eyes.

You weren’t in the kitchen very long before you saw two figures walk in and join you, causing you to sigh. “You two can leave, I’m fine now.” You said, carefully putting the kettle on the stove, before turning it on. It was quiet for a moment or two before one of them spoke up, breaking the silence.

“Y/N, don’t push us away, talk to us. We wanna help any way we can, even if it is just listening to what is going on in your mind.” You recognized the voice to be Kirishima’s and you swiftly turned around. Your emotions were all over the place, due to lack of sleep, and the images of the nightmare still fresh in your mind. “If anyone has the right to be pushed away, it’s you two. You both shoved me away, don’t you remember. And just because we are talking again doesn’t mean I’m going to be stupid enough to spill out everything to you both again.” The words spilled out, and though you didn’t mean for it all to come out so aggressive and filled with venom, it did. You were tired, hurting, and trying to recover from the things that had happened to you. It didn’t excuse you for what you were doing right now, but you had the right to speak your mind and speak the truth.

“Y/N..” Bakugou started to speak, but you shut him down.

“No, don’t you dare ‘Y/N’ me. I can forgive you for some of the shit you both did to me, but it doesn’t mean I am going to just let you back in and trust you with my entire being, how can I? Even if I tried to explain it all to you, you wouldn’t even understand, want to know why? Because it’s always Kirishima and Bakugou, having each other’s back. Kiri and Bakugou protecting each other from everything. Red Riot and Dynamight are always there for each other, no matter what. So just do me a favor and leave.” You let out a sigh as you finished talking, hoping they would just turn and leave, yet they stood there not saying a word. If you had more sleep and were in a better place, this situation won’t upset you, but right now it made you angry.

The two of them just standing in front of you, silently, filled you with rage. You couldn’t explain why, maybe it was from the lack of sleep or maybe it was because the three of you had yet to really address what had happened all those months ago. You quickly turned the stove off as the kettle whistled, leaving the water on the stove, no longer wanting it.

“It used to be us, Eijiro, Katsuki, and Y/N, back in UA. We were inseparable and sure we had issues but we always talked about them. Then you two were heroes and rising up the charts and I was left in the dust. And then it was more of you two, and I was the third wheel. Fuck, you two didn’t even care when I left after ‘Suki proposed. You could have stopped me or called or something, but I was met with silence. Just like I’m being met with the same silence now, you both are here but it’s almost as if you aren’t at the same time. It’s like the both of you two are completely blinded by everything going on with other people.” You made your way out of the kitchen and made your way to the couch. You sat down and all at once everything that just happened and what you said to hit you, hard. You didn’t regret what you said, for it was the truth, though you were sure you could have phrased or worded it better. A few moments later, both of the boys were on the couch, sitting on either side of you. It was silent once more before one of them spoke out.

“Listen Y/N, we should have talked about this sooner, as it’s obvious now that what happened months ago is still affecting how you see and view both of Katsuki and I.” Kirishima started speaking, you waited for Bakugou to chirp in some smart-ass response, but he was silent, allowing the red-haired man to continue speaking. “We should have reached out to you sooner after you left. Fuck Y/N, we should have reached out and spoken to you the moment we thought you were pushing us away. We were stupid for not doing so and there isn’t anything I can say that’ll make it better or not sound like some sorry excuse. You deserved better, you still do, whether that is from us or not.”

Kirishima stopped and looked at Bakugou, who was quick to join in. “We were, and still are dumbasses, as you’ve probably noticed. And I know, we should have reached out to you sooner, I should have talked to you sooner. I should have explained the whole engagement thing to you before it happened, or even told you that day in the hospital. You were our partner, and we totally excluded you.”

You lifted your head, glancing at both of the men, thoughts running through your mind. You had questions that needed answers, questions that for weeks after the initial breakup kept you awake most nights. You cleared your throat before asking the first question, the biggest one you had. “Why didn’t either of you call or text? Why did it take weeks upon weeks to hear from you Katsuki and Eijiro?” You could see them both exchange looks before Bakugou started speaking again.

“Truth be told, I didn’t notice the note until a few days after you were long gone. I figured you were working extra shifts and work was keeping you busy. When I saw the note, I was pissed and hurt and just assumed you would come back and when it became clear you weren’t I blamed you for leaving, I didn’t want to think it was my fault. I ended up coming to the hospital, hoping to sort things out and well, we know how that went.” He nervously chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck. You turned your attention back to your hands, trying to keep yourself grounded as you felt a part of your heart break. You wanted answers and knew you won’t like what you hear, but god you didn’t expect it to hurt this badly.

“I was hardly home for a while after you left. I got busy with hero work and taking in students for work-study, I just slept at my office. ‘Suki texted me while I was at work, saying I needed to come home. He found the note, and I wanted to go after you, but I thought maybe time apart would do us some good, and well, I figured you would come back. After the incident at the hospital that you and Katsuki had, I needed time. And when I was ready to talk, I expected you to be with your parents, and after some explaining to your mom, she told me where to find you.” He paused for a moment, before quickly adding in, “Speaking of your mother, she is quite a fierce woman, to say the least.”

The room filled with silence once more, causing you to drift into your thoughts. So you got the answers on why it took weeks for them to come to talk to you about the note, but they never explained why they didn’t text or even call, which just hurt you more.

“Why didn’t you call or text, you didn’t answer that part, and I need to know.” You practically cried out, looking between both of them, watching as their heads fell. The room filled with silence before Kiri spoke out, he was quiet and you couldn’t make out anything he said, you asked him to repeat and instead had Bakugou practically yell out.

“We didn’t know what the fuck to say dumbass.” That was all he said before it filled with silence once again. You wanted to speak up, tell them both they could have said anything, just something to let you know they cared and mattered to them, and without hesitation, you did just that.

“You could have sent anything, I wouldn’t have cared what the hell you said. Just a sign from either of you would have been enough. I left because you pushed me away, I was the third wheel and I hoped that maybe with me leaving that you both would realize your mistakes and come running after me. Pleading through texts and calls to come home, but instead, I was met with silence.” You stopped, feeling tears run down your cheek, silently cursing at yourself. You wanted to be strong through this, but you couldn’t. “I fucking loved you both and thought you felt the same, but it became very clear that you didn’t.”

“Y/N…” They both started to speak out, tears starting to form in both of their eyes.

“No, I don’t wanna hear it, you can’t fix that now, it’s too late. And god to top it all off, you both are engaged, and I had to find out with the rest of the fucking country. My own boyfriends engaged as I was at home clueless, never hearing a word about it.” You were quickly cut off by Bakugou who had started to speak over you.

“I didn’t have time to talk about it with you, the commission made me. They wanted something big and exciting in the news, and since fucking Deku is always shining, they wanted us to bring some news. They told me to go get a ring and propose, and I can’t argue with them, they do control my job!”

You just stared at Bakugou, unable to form any sentences or coherent thought, for that matter. Sure, you understood that he had no choice, but you just wished he would still have talked to you about it, even if it was a quick text 30 seconds before the entire country saw it. You just wished and wanted things to be different or even how they were before you all were adults and they were pro heroes, but that would never happen, and you knew that. You all sat in the living room for a while, no words exchanged, just silence. You eventually caught yourself dozing off as the sun started to peek through the curtains and for once you just let your body rest.

You woke up hours later, content to have gotten some sleep, nightmare free. You glanced around and didn’t see or hear either man in the house, meaning they left while you slept. You knew they had to, they were heroes, but you still wanted them here. You wanted to apologize and just...no that would be silly. You pushed the thought away, and got up from the couch, stretching and going into the kitchen. Upon entering you were surprised to see Bakugou at the stove, scrambling some eggs. You cleared your throat and he turned around and offered you a small smile, which was a rare sight, even for how close you two once were.

“I’m not sure how good these will be, but I figured this would be a good start to make things up to you and to apologize.” He spoke softly, staring at you before turning his attention back to the stove. “Oh, Kiri, went to the store to grab a few things, he should be back soon.” He said, almost as if he knew you were curious as to where the other was.

“‘Suki, don’t you have work today? Correction, don’t you both have work?” You questioned, going to the fridge and pouring yourself some juice before sitting at the table.

“We both called off. We called off for a while actually, on-call if any huge villain attack happens but everyone will be fine for a while without Red Riot and Dynamight. Eijiro would be better at this than me, but we know we can’t fix the past and what we did and how we treated you, but we want to make up for it. We want you to know we still love and care for you, that you matter to us.” He spoke, his voice growing quieter as he went on, but you still heard every word to it. You went to go speak up, but you were cut off by the front door opening and Kirishima walking in.

He walked into the kitchen, bags in his hands, and smiled at you before apologizing for taking the key to your apartment. You smiled at him, chuckling, letting him know it was okay. The two of them finished making breakfast, a huge one at that, before joining you at the table where you all ate. Things wouldn’t be easy, but for now, you knew this was a start.

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Weeks had passed and both pro heroes had practically stayed at your apartment the entire time. You enjoyed the time with them as you had truly missed this You had missed them so much more than you realized. And you knew that soon they would have to return to their own apartment and return to the life of being a full-time hero, but at the moment you didn’t want it to end. Sleeping became easier with them near, as the nightmares slowly became fewer and farther apart. You knew they couldn’t cure what happened or your mind, and you may always experience nightmares about all that happened with Dabi, but with them? With the two of them, it was so much easier to handle, for you weren’t alone. You were by two people who you had come to love again, and a part of you could only hope they felt the same about you.

You were all cuddling in bed, just talking and laughing about who knows what, when Bakugou broke the news. He told you he had to return to work tomorrow and Kiri the day after. You couldn’t help it and just cried, both of them holding you close. You knew this was coming but it still hurt. Both of the heroes comforted you the best they could, calming you down, whispering promises of staying in contact and visiting often. It then crossed your mind and with tear-filled eyes, you looked at them both and realized it had crossed theirs as well. The big question, what were you three. Would they even allow or want to be in a relationship with you or was this all some platonic friendly thing happening between you three.

“Katsuki? Eijiro? What….what are we?” You whispered quietly, and for a moment you weren’t sure if they heard you. You had begun to get nervous as you waited for some sort of answer. You were caught off guard by Bakugou chuckling and you turned yourself so you were looking at him. “And what is so funny?” Slightly offended with why he thought now was the perfect time to laugh. You were asking a perfectly reasonable question, that had to be on all your minds.

“God Y/N, you are such a dumbass. I don’t know if I speak for Kiri over there, but I assumed we were dating again. Like I know platonic cuddles are a thing, but uhh when have I been known to do that?” He laughed even more as you pushed your up and out of the arms of the men. He had a fair point, you couldn’t argue with that.

A smile formed on your face as you looked between the two, “Well that’s good to hear, I wanna be with you both again. If you’ll have me, of course.” At this point, they were also sitting up and staring at you, a cheesy grin on both of their faces. They both nodded and you started grinning from ear to ear. “That’s good to know, means I can finally do this again,” you spoke quickly before kissing them both.

The road ahead of you three won’t be easy, and there were bound to be challenges you all would face just like before. But this time, you all were prepared and could better handle anything that was thrown at you.

Taglist: @candybabey @peachiikichu

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