realityuniverse - Tumblr blog

realityuniverse · 2 days

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yeah pretty much Reality/Wade having 5 existential crisis's and Rogue or Daisy waking him up

Person B: *Wakes up with their morning alarm and gets up immediately to start their day*

Person A: *Wakes up on time but stays in bed browsing silly stuff on their phone until they're so late that only a miracle can save them*

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realityuniverse · 13 days

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Breaking News: Roguepool is canon

Deadpool: *coughs blood*

Rogue: Don't die on me sugah?

Deadpool: Don't tell me what to do!

#roguepool #rwm #wade wilson #anna marie darkholme #deadpool #rogue #its awkward for reality considering he used to date rogue when he temporarily joined the x-men until the swamp rat swooped her away #rogality #reality

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realityuniverse · 2 months

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Daisy giving Avengers and Agents of SHIELD a pep talk: Alright, listen up you little shits.

Daisy: Not you Reality . You’re an angel and we’re thrilled you’re here.

#reality #daisy johnson #cosmic quake #agents of shield incorrect quotes #avengers incorrect quotes

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realityuniverse · 2 months

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Daisy: *banging a pen on the table out of frustration after working on a plan to defeat Thanos*

Reality : Stop that. How would YOU feel if I banged you on the table?

Daisy:

Tony:

Steve:

Nat:

Bruce:

Clint:

Peter:

Thor:

Loki:

Wanda:

Avengers:

Guardians:

X-Men:

Eternals:

Inhumans:

Thanos:

Daisy: I don’t know the correct answer to that question.

Rogue: it's fine sugah, ah understandab he's hot

Daisy: what?

Rogue: oh me and Reality had a thing in the 80s then due to complications things didn't pan out our way

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realityuniverse · 2 months

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Talia: Reality, knock knock?

Reality: who's there?

Talia: Daisy

Reality sighs: Daisy who?

Talia singing wearing sunglasses: Day see me rollin they hatin'

Reality: I'll pay you $10 if you say it to Deke right now

Talia: you're on

#rwm #talia aster #deke shaw #dumb jokes #reality cosmicson

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realityuniverse · 2 months

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Daisy: You’d be stupid to lay a hand on me.

Reality : Oh, you’d be surprised how much stupid shit I do.

#rwm #reality #daisy johnson #agents of shield #cosmic quake #reality is an idiot #this is after daisy got her powers #aos season 2 #fitzsimmons are watching eating popcorn

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realityuniverse · 2 months

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Reality : You know I think my life has value.

Daisy: Who are you and what have you done with Reality ?!

#rwm #reality #daisy johnson #agents of shield #cosmic quake

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realityuniverse · 4 months

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Bonus

trios that feel polyamorous coded but no explanation

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realityuniverse · 4 months

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Kamala : America, no.

America: America, yes.

Reality: America, no.

America: America, maybe.

Daisy: America, no.

America: America, no.

#rwm #reality #daisy johnson #america chavez #kamala khan #amerikhan #america chavez incorrect quotes #cosmic quake #daisy being protective over america #reality is just tired

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realityuniverse · 4 months

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Police

*At a police station in New Jersey*

Kamala after 11 years of being with America: Hi, I’m here for America.

Police officer: Who’s America?

Kamala: Ah, you must be new.

#rwm #america chavez #amerikhan #kamala khan #america chavez incorrect quotes #america x kamala #America punched some homophobic ass #reality when america said story had to bail her out

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realityuniverse · 4 months

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Bear

Daisy: Okay, I’m going to get the wedding cake.

Reality: Perfect, while you do that I’ll check on the ring bear.

Daisy: ...

Daisy: You mean ring bearER, right?

Reality: ...

Daisy: Look me in the eyes and tell me you are not going to bring a dangerous wild animal to our wedding.

*bear growls heard in the background*

Daisy: you're lucky I love you Cosmicson

Reality: I know you love me Johnson but yeah definitely consider myself lucky to be with you

#rwm #reality and daisy finally get to be husband and wife after 11 years of bullshit #cosmic quake #Jemma is maid of honour #Fitz is Best man #coulson gave daisy away #daisy johnson #america and kamala being adorable #agents of shield #philinda as daisy's parents #fitzsimmons

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realityuniverse · 5 months

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*Everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker*

Coulson: So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know.

Everyone:

Jemma: ...I did. I broke it.

Coulson: No. No you didn't. Reality?

Reality: Don't look at me. Look at Talia.

Talia: What?! I didn't break it.

Reality: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?

Talia retorts whilst flipping Reality the bird: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken.

Reality: Suspicious.

Talia: No, it's not!

Fitz: If it matters, probably not, but Daisy was the last one to use it.

Daisy: Liar! I don't even drink that crap!

Fitz: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?

Daisy: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Fitz!

Jemma: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Coulson.

Coulson: No! Who broke it!?

Everyone:

Fitz: Coulson... Reality's been awfully quiet.

Reality: rEALLY?!

*Everyone starts arguing*

Coulson, to May: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it.

Coulson: I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.

Coulson:

May: Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.

#rwm #reality #daisy johnson #agents of shield #fitzsimmons #talia aster #jemma being polite #talia is a shit #cosmic quake

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realityuniverse · 5 months

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Fitz: BE A BETTER PERSON!

Jemma: WHY?!

Fitz: BECAUSE SOMEONE NEEDS TO HAVE MORALS IN THIS RELATIONSHIP, AND IT SURE AS FUCK AIN'T GONNA BE ME, SWEETHEART!

#rwm #agents of shield #Fitzsimmons

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realityuniverse · 5 months

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Sam: What are the hardest things to say?

Wanda: I was wrong.

Daisy: I need help.

Reality: Worcestershire sauce.

#rwm #reality #daisy johnson #cosmic quake #wanda maximoff #sam wilson

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realityuniverse · 5 months

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Jemma: Bonjour, Fitz. Voulez–vous coucher avec moi?

Fitz: What?

Reality: She's asking if you want to sleep with her?

*Fitz and Jemma both blush*

Reality: I'll leave you two to it I'm going with Daisy to explore more of my island because I want to show her everywhere hopefully because there's a particular place where I want to show her for... reasons I can't discuss out loud

#rwm #reality #daisy johnson #agents of shield #leopold fitz #jemma simmons #marsky way #reality speaks all languages #reality has a room full of kinky shit

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realityuniverse · 5 months

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America: ok now we have established who the top of this relationship is. Wanna order pizza because we got the island to ourselves

Kamala: sure

Kamala: Well, it’s just that my mom doesn’t want me to—

America: Hey, hey, hey! Is your mom the boss of you?

Kamala: No.

America: Who is the boss of you?

Kamala, unsure: … You?

#source: friends #kamala khan #kamala khan incorrect quotes #ms marvel #america chavez #america chavez incorrect quotes #avengers #marvel #avengers incorrect quotes #rwm incorrect quotes #rwm #marsky way #pizza

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realityuniverse · 5 months

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Reality: well any hug for a considerable amount of time is realistic but then it turns into an embrace

Jemma: how do you know this?

Reality: I honestly don't know

Jemma: How long does your ideal hug last?

Daisy: 38-45 minutes.

Jemma: …That’s really impractical.

Daisy: You said ideal. Not realistic.

#incorrect qoutes #agents of shield incorrect quotes #agents of shield #jemma simmons #daisy johnson #give my girl a break #and a hug #daisy johnson need a hug #reality will give her a hug #cosmic quake

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