#[because this is a random ass HC that popped into my head that I needed to share]

[n3ptoonz]

OMG OKAY SO I JUST READ YOUR RECENT HEADCANONS WITH EARTHREALM BOYS AND HOW THEY'D REACT TO READER RIDING THEM AND I LOVE IT SO MUCH AND IT GOT ME THINKING

How would they react to reader pegging them HEHEHE 👁️👁️🙏

mk1 hcs: how the earthrealm guys react to pegging

sorry i took so long to get to this anon! life is on my asssss and kept getting random spurts of writers block but WE HERE

warnings: explicit, smut elements, fluff elements, sub men obviously, sphinx might have favs idk tho😹

Scorpion

When you suggested pegging for the first time, it intrigued him. He'd always been down to try something new, especially if you bring it to him since he does it more

Y'all would be reeallll slow in the beginning. Luckily you knew all about preparation and making sure he was relaxed and okay the whole time. It didn't take long for him to get used to it, and even take a liking

He'd prefer for it to be a regular thing after his looonngggg days after work. There's nothing he needs more than to either be treated with tender, love, and care or just straight filthy coitus with him seeing stars and his hair tangled to all hell

The first few times he was a shy boy, cute lil whimpers here and there. Now? Doesn't give a damn, he will be as vocal as he feels like. You're gonna be the one who wakes up with claw marks and bite marks in the morning

Sub-Zero

Huh? You want to what? Were you inside of his head or something? How'd you know he wanted you to absolutely mix his guts whenever he gives you attitude? Something ain't right

He only acts reluctant because he didn't wanna look eager, but the man was waiting for this moment. The second you suggested it he was like "okay i'll say yes after like the third time i gotta look cool." when whole time he wanted to fall to his knees and hug your thighs in agreement

Don't try to go slow the first few times. His patience is shorter than his temper, this mf is the most power bottom individual in the bedroom. After he's gotten used to it he'll 'allow' you to go the romantic route (he's such a lil bitch for it we love it)

He barks orders at you like you won't grab his face and give him a taste of his own medicine. One good time where you're hovering over him, a thumb on the inside of his cheek while he drools and you fuck him like your life depended on it. Mission success!

Smoke

He's the one who brought it to you. Any objections? I think tf not. He isn't saying it aloud, but his eyes are silently begging you to treat him like the town's whore

He likes both the romance and the pure filth. It's entirely up to you; he will never say no to anything you suggest. Fuck him like you're mad at him or go slow and steady while you kiss his jaw and play with his hair and sing his praises

Any and all positions available. If you can somehow prone this big boy, DO IT. He'd totally ride you too if you really down for the count. We are troopers around this bitch!

Sometimes it would concern you how rarely he tapped out, especially when shit was getting intense and didn't calm down for a while. If you were absolutely demolishing his ass, you'd see a pool of drool escaping his lips, his eyes glossed over, his whines and moans gradually getting louder, and when you asked if he was okay, he would nod and give you a thumbs up like he didn't just bust 3 times in a row

Johnny Cage

Every time I do any sexual hcs of this mf, I will continue to say he's a brat. I do not care. He's a fucking diva and will dare to bark orders at you too like you're not the one who brought it up

Y'all know that Meg the stallion lyric where she's like "no don't fuck me like that fuck me like this"? THATS HIS ASS. He KNOWS it'll piss you off but go one of two ways: you indeed do fuck him like that but added aggression, OR! you stop completely and pretend like you're gonna leave the room. Works every time

He thoroughly enjoys straight up sex over romantic sex, but every once in a while he indulges in popping champagne, throwing down rose petals, and playing sexy music in the back to set the mood. Ol dramatic ass

Remember how I said in my riding hcs that he records everything? Yeah. Even as far as come to you and be like "okay so like what if we sold these? i could cut your face out if you want-" and you're like !1!2? HOWEVER ik some of yall are FREEKIE FUCKS. If you say "fuck that leave my face in it", prepare to never need a job ever again

Kenshi Takahashi

Surprisingly is down with it. That's what #love does to a mf. He's like Kuai, anything you want you shall receive. If you wanna play around in that ass, say no more!

97% of the time wants to go slow and steady. He just loves looking at your face with the power of Sento while making love. Tell him how much you love and appreciate him and how he's doing so good for you and he'll instantly become the butter to your bread (like melting- ok y'all get it cool)

That 3%?? He would be on his knees and begging you to fuck the stress out of him. He's had such a tough week, just shove his head into the pillow and get to work!

If it's missionary just grip his neck, get real close to his face so he can feel your breath, and welcome him to pound town. All aboard the slut-Kenshi-out train

Raiden

Secretly a whore. The first green light into pegging territory, you could see his pearly browns sparkle in excitement and eagerness. He's relatively chill and calm about it at first because he didn't want to scare you away, but that's gone in an instant when you actually do the deed

Walks up to microphone Raiden...enjoys the prepping damn near more than the actual pegging. This pretty boy sure loves to see you break out the lubricant and gloves just so you can get him ready. Bro is on the edge of the bed swinging his feet while you have the most devious look in your eye

He's 50/50 on sensual nights vs getting down and dirty. Literally has zero preference, just spread him!

Back to how I said he's secretly a whore, sometimes he does subtle things that get you riled up throughout the day so you can take it out on him later. It's kinda funny sometimes cause he can be vocal but he's more shy than ever, but he'll break soon, trust

Liu Kang

Out of everyone he'd probably enjoy it the most. Now hear me out, he's not used to something like this, so it may take some convincing, but it's very little. It's good that he was mortal before so this level of intimacy isn't completely out of bounds

Once you get the stamp of approval and you try it for the first time, he's in love. It's like all he wants to do. Like holy fuck, where has this been for all these eons? This is the ultimate relaxation and he gets to forget his worries for a few hours??

He's so fascinated that he'd be the one introducing YOU to different types of straps all the way down to the patterns. "A dragon one... have you heard of this one?" like damn bro we get it you fw dragons (literally 😹)

Given how calm he is he prefers slow and sensual. It's only when he's truly curious that he'd be like hmm...it certainly wouldn't hurt to try (prepare for his godly stamina to have you on the brink of death btw). also, there's no way he wouldn't request for his hair to be pulled 😮‍💨

Kung Lao

Kung Lao my beloved. Morphs into alpha with huge muscles and impeccable imagination. Kung Lao, the egotistical and prideful man he is would think he has the up on you simply because he brought it up before you did. This fine ass man can and will come prepared on his own, case full of toys and all

And if I said he likes to be tooted up with music in the back and you pulling his hair while being used like a barracks bunny, would you arrest me?? For speaking TRUTH? He's a whore your honor

He don't give a damn about slow and steady but he'll do it if you want to. Just know it will never end in slow and steady, the pace always seems to be picked up and all of a sudden he's strap-warming you as a punishment (he literally wanted this to happen)

Idek what more to say Kung Lao is a slut and I need him in a way that's concerning to women's suffrage. I will make that hat chucking dimple having sexy ass man a fucking mother, just you wait. [he is one of the first I will breed]

#n3ptoonz #mk1 #mortal kombat #mortal kombat 1 #smut #bi han #kung lao #kuai liang #tomas mk1 #bi han sub zero #liu kang #kenshi takashi x reader #kenshi takahashi #raiden mk1 #raiden x reader #liu kang x reader #kuai liang x reader #bi han x reader #kung lao x reader #tomas vrbada x reader #johnny cage #johnny cage x reader #mk smut #tomas vrbada #fluff #mk1 kung lao #smoke mk #mk smoke #sub zero

[arielstruggles]

Random Joel Miller thoughts /HCs

WARNING: CONTAINS ADULT CONTENT.

a/n: this is obviously in a non-outbreak au. Joel is like in his late forties. This is specifically for hbo Joel, i have different hcs for game joel.

He is a boobs man, he loves 'em can't help it, he likes ass too but boobs... those are his favorite. He grabs them, pinches them maybe licks who knows. His favorite is burying his face between your boobs though.

He might be a little jealous but not in a toxic like it is not his whole personality. It's just because he is insecure. He thinks you might leave him for another dude who is younger, richer, funnier etc. He is so used to be alone, raising his child as a single dad that he is not sure what is the 'right' thing to do while dating.

He loves you so much and act of service his love language. You need a plumber? Call Joel Miller. You need to fix the door handle? Joel is on his way. He does not say that he loves you all the time but these small things show it. Oh, also he brings you flowers?! not so often but he does!

He shits your music taste. It is a struggle to convince him to listen pop music or anything you like in general but once you manage to convince him he really enjoys it, does not accept that tho.

Most of the time, he remembers important dates and gets you small but meaningful gifts. However, there are times that he forgets. You try not to make a big deal of it even if it kinda makes you sad which makes him feel guiltier than ever. "My sweet angel, don't do this, please i want to see those pretty lips of yours smile"

He is not the most passionate advocate of being all lovey dovey in public. He holds your hand, maybe kiss you occasionally -not often- . But when you are alone... He is one step away from worshipping you.

He lovesss making you laugh and giggle. Often times makes the most corniest jokes to see you laughing and yelling 'ewwww Joelll!'

I don't think he is that much into BDSM. Maybe lightly chocking or bondage sometimes and maybe smacks on your butt but not too much. He is an affectionate guy. That does not mean he's not dominant though he has his moments and in those moments, things get spicier than usual that you have hard time walking afterwards.

He's definitely a switch. When he is in a bad mood or simply just when wants to be taken care of, he lets you to ride him, give him a head, take the lead. He is kinda shy asking you to take care of him because he does not want to seem weak or like unable to satisfy your needs but it is his insecurities speaking, not the truth.

Favorite position is missionary, enjoys reverse cowgirl and doggy too. In reverse cowgirl he grabs your ass so hard that it leaves a mark. In doggy he most definitely plays with your tits.

Breeding kink go brr

Not the biggest fan of pet names but he uses them. His favorites are my sweet angel, honey and baby.

Sometimes he comes early, sorry but like he is old.

%100 Into aftercare. He takes you to the bathroom, cleans you up and when you chill in the warm water in the bathtub he changes the sheets.

Ok that's it. For now.

#joel miller #pedro pascal #au #headcanon #tlou hbo #the last of us #joel miller x you #joel miller x reader #the last of us hbo #joel miller headcanon #joel miller hbo #joel miller x y/n

[thelovelybitten]

random loonatics unleashed hcs bc I like childhood comfort show binging

only elites watched loonatics unleashed—so for the ATOM SIZED community who still gaf abt this gem here’s some random hcs I thought of

ACE BUNNY

[+] confident, determined, loving

[-] stubborn, cynical, impulsive

since he’s like. the most heroic MF known to acmetropolis, overconfidence is his thing. sometimes it goes too far and people have to smack some sense into him (lexi & tech, most likely) and y’all thought duck was cocky… ace is cocky and smart vs duck is cocky and dumb.

i imagine he has some sort of cooling eye drops he puts in after battles or over usage of his laser vision.

may wear glasses if needed.

he defo has underlying anxiety about his leader position since he’s basically in charge of the universe and his teammates he considers his family. (he confides in lexi with this eventually)

on a similar note, since he feels the pressure of being the leader, he suppresses his emotions all the time until lexi finds out and they teach each other to heal :’)))))

as much as he and duck annoy the fuck out of each other, they complement each other in the sense that ace needs comedic relief and duck supplies it (bratty ass little brother things)

anime STANNNN. anything that’s got good lore—He and Tech love sword art online. they hook in rev and slam in the second season. he and slam like attack on titan FOR SURE.

duck gives ace social media tips (because ace loves the attention but doesn’t know SHIT ABT creating a following)

japanese culture fascinates him, so he implements traditions and holidays into the loonatics' activities.

stubborn as fuck, it’s his way or the highway. since zadavia has always put him in charge, it's hard for him not to boss people around when he's unable to help. (as seen in s1 ep6)

since in the show it’s hinted all the loonatics are in university, I have ace being the second oldest child. he’s a natural-born leader, but still can’t take certain things seriously. tech is a good influence on him.

LEXI BUNNY

[+] sweet, empathetic, fiesty

[-] emotional, hot-headed, judgemental

she wears noise-cancelling headphones all the time if not needed by others. the absolute peace and quiet she needs to stay sane, tbh

the amount of radio traffic and minds around her causes headaches and migraines—but also some paranoia and slight insanity since she can’t take all of these mind voices all at once. she receives medicine after years of putting it off/testing due to her super powered dna

^^ tech is the one who finds her crying and screaming and he takes care of her until she tells everyone else.

also to touch on that, tech creates wrist bands that lexi can put on. they are supposed to cancel any brain waves or mind reading for a certain amount of time (but not forever, as she is super powered and it’s still a wip for him). (she also needs her powers to protect planet blanc)

actually hates carrots of any sort (minus carrot cake, she would die w/o it) ace thinks she’s crazy.

“can you read this person’s mind” is her biggest gripe and she hates when anyone asks her to do so

due to her upbringing, she hates mean girls and anyone who isn’t a girls girl gets to have a not so nice convo with her.

she’s very social savvy and is always in the newest trends, she hates how self conscious she is but funnily enough she and duck relate to one another and do have shopping sprees and Amazon hauls for therapy 😭

she’d like tiktok but rarely post lol, and when she does her social media pops off

feminist. "oh girls can't be heroes" "girls shouldn't be doing a man's job" SHUT UR TRAP. she will prove u wrong in 1000 different ways.

most popular of the loonatics—she’s the only female.

her age hc I have is she’s third oldest. which kinda leans into my duck/lexi hcs but that’s in another post

TECH E COYOTE

[+] intelligent, punctual, organized

[-] uptight, perfectionist, egotistical

perfectionist syndrome we LOVE HER

he’s so father type (big brother to all of the loonatics, everyone relies on him imo) Ace is the leader, but Tech is the dad 🤪

since he and mallory (mastermind’s) huge falling out, he has a people pleasing complex. this is because he feels guilty about putting her in jail as she is his protégée but knowing what he did was for the best makes him uneasy. so not only does everything have to be perfect, he has a hard time saying no to prevent conflict.

that being said, when it comes to danger and safety he’s gonna put his foot down.

he absolutely loves tinkering with rev. the two of them share one braincell, though. call them thing one and thing two. they’re smart. but not together 😅

while tech likes…well…technology, I feel like he’d also like forensics too. And watching crime shows with Ace and Rev.

he also has a bit of an ego. mostly bc he’s the creator and manager of all the technology in blanc. (And the universe, maybe. at least blanc and acmetropolis.)

has some sort of side gig going on for sponsorships. i hc that he loves to help create new technology, but he'd also like to provide said ideas to companies, kingdoms, etc. usually has the loonatics branding on it.

when his powers upgraded, he had a bit of trouble controlling it to the point where their new HQ had electrical issues for a month. yay metal but also oopsies I can create electrical currents and it’s a lot

the idea of him being immortal due to his regeneration abilities scares him because his friends will eventually die off and he will remain on his own :( (if i had to think about this, so do u.)

very protective of his stuff, and his family. this is not debatable.

he tries to hide itttt but he loves kids. he likes to surprise them with things he makes and teaches them how to build objects (with lego, of course. ain't no way is he letting any cheeto-dusted fingers come in contact with his shit.)

he’s the oldest loonatic NO QUESTION.

REV RUNNER

[+] energetic, comedic, caring

[-] oblivious, childish, sporadic

he’s so baby boy. a child. I love him so.

adhd brain on TOP

fears rejection, but works on it with lexi helping him out

I think he’d also play league with lexi and ace.

he loves running around fast, obviously but he also likes to stop and enjoy views when he can. (Defo uses the wormholes to escape to sunny places.)

definitely has lists to keep himself organized (and slam, which he is blessed for)

likes mechanical machinery and modifications (hates detailing though, fuck that)

recites the entire bee movie script to tech to annoy him

relies on zadavia for advice frequently. she’s a mother to him and she gives him hugs :))))

knows the best spots in the universe for anything ever, (thanks internal gps)

may the lord bless him bc he loves his brother so so so much that he'd do anything for him. rip is always welcome at hq and they play games/invent shit together :)

would pull pranks on all of the loonatics and he’d get away with it (but duck sees right through him—helps him anyways) since it's shown in season 1, episode 6 that ace and rev like to watch sports/attend games, they'd love other ones that are hockey, basketball and football-oriented. (since this is the future and all, the sport they play in this episode is based on soccer anyway) duck is also part of this too.

the metabolism popped off this man can EAT. since he's already burning it off. He's unlike slam though—he eats at a regular speed due to conversation-making.

youngest loonatic.

SLAM TASMANIAN

[+] strong, resilient, comforting

[+] aggressive, uncontrolled, moody

has a hard time with expressing himself due to the language barrier b/w him and the civilians.

good news tho, rev and duck help him to learn english :DDD they get him to read a ton of things (rev with different books while duck just shows him magazines with him as the street model LMFAO, also trends and stuff.)

has an action figure collection that if touched, a tornado will destroy your room. (he had them before the meteor hit, as a coping mechanism from all the fighting he did)

obvi fave food is pizza, specifically meat lovers

gets into origami to control his mind. lexi loves doing this w him :)

tech and slam love to do weapon tests together bc slam is BEEFY and withstands more injury than people think.

ace and slam train together the most. it helps both of them with tiny/large targets.

desperately wants a cat, a kitten, something cat related… but ace says no all the time bc it serves “as a distraction” from their job (ace is delulu ignore him)

a chef. amazing in the kitchen. cooks all the food for the house. a WHOLESOME MAN. watches the food network LMAO

gives the best hugs.

VERY BROTHER BEAR VIBES, he'll tell someone straight up to NOT FUCK W HIS FAMILY. just DON'T.

third youngest loonatic but acts older

DANGER DUCK

[+] loyal, self-aware, amusing

[-] arrogant, overbearing, hypocritical

u know this man is one of the ✨g w o r l s ✨

he attends drag shows with rev and lexi (DID I STUTTER ??? I think not.)

he doesn’t give a FUCK this man will do what he wants, when he wants, for as long as he wants. (until ace or zadavia gives him shit, whoever comes first) attention-seeker, but rightfully so as he is very much overshadowed by all of his teammates, when in reality he is the strongest and most deadly loonatic. i mean think abt it. he has three powers. the most out of all the loonatics. ace has laser vision. lexi has telepathy. tech can manipulate metallic objects and regenerate. rev has super speed and is a human gps. slam can create storms/tornados. DUCK HAS THE POWER TO CREATE HOT LAVA ORBS (EGGS), MANIPULATE WATER, AND TELEPORT. u see the vision???

it also doesn't help when zadavia is always shitting on him for his character. in her defense, he is a superhero and should be a good influence and in a professional manner, when in his defense, he should at least be praised and acknowledged for the work he puts in...js.

TAKES HIS TRAINING SERIOUSLY EVEN IF HE USES IT AS A VIDEO GAME SIM— HE'S ON IT IN SECONDS.

he does get a bit depressed abt the whole overshadowing thing sometimes. but he's so cocky that he hypes himself up and forgets it ever happened.

HIS APPEARANCE IS EVERYTHING TO HIM, which is why he and lexi hang out a lot when lexi is in need of a break. THEY LOVE THE SALON.

he helps the men eventually with tinder profiles so they can get out there and find romance and shit (but not lexi, since she knows she can get whoever she wants) he's pretty successful at it too.

BOARD GAME CHAMPION. BACK-TO-BACK MAY I ADD. Slam hates it bc he almost clutches the win but duck suddenly has a trick up his sleeve then BAAM. winner winner pizza dinner. his favourite board game is monopoly. (for obvious reasons, mans' needs to be able to manage his money for future investments.)

if he could be on a version of america's next top model, he would.

might be a sarcastic asshole, but does deeply care about his family, and other beings for that matter ( I mean, s2 ep12 ANYONE ??) tweetums was his everything that WAS HIS SON.

trolls people on club penguin with rev, don't ask, I just know.

blogger typa beat. is the social media editor and influencer for the team.

second youngest, but acts like the youngest LMAO

aaaaand that's it for now, i will make separate hc posts for pairings (platonic and romantic) and obvs the loonatics in general, so stay tuned. :)

if u read this far u THE GOAT >:D

#faves: lu #loonatics unleashed #loonatics unleashed hcs #viv speaks #i love the loonatics and u will never hear the end of it nope not ever #i thought long and hard about these ok #i think i did a pretty good job !!! #but yeah i love my kids sm so take some brain mush #ace bunny #lexi bunny #slam tasmanian #tech e coyote #danger duck #rev runner #MORE SOON

[lemonkeiku]

141 (w/ OC) Hidden Talent Headcanon

Summary: Everyone has their own hidden talent. Because it's hidden, no one knows they have it until they accidentally show it to each other. Some of them were very useful, some of them were completely useless.

Warning: none, possible ooc hc, and bad english

Author's note: This is just a random thought that popped into my head. This is definitely headcanon, so enjoy for your entertainment.

🚬 Price : Speaking in high-pitched voice

Captain Price was known for his heavy voice and smoking cigarettes only made it worse. Despite this, he was surprisingly able to speak in a very high-pitched voice. He's not going to sound like himself when he does that. His talent was discovered by the rest of 141 at the most random moment.

At the time, he tried to mock Laswell by repeating her words in a high-pitched voice. It was a shock to everyone, even to Laswell, who, instead of being offended, asked him to do it again.

💀 Ghost : Doing rap

His rapping ability was completely hidden until Soap dared him to recite a rap lyrics. Not just any rap lyrics, it was from Eminem's song. And with his deep voice, he would sound more attractive when he started doing rap. Trust me. He would sound like he was reciting a magic spell at some point but he still did a pretty good job with those lyrics.

He never intended to learn how to rap tho. He just likes hip-hop and sometimes he enjoys it a little too much. He was a fast reader and talker too. Maybe that's why he can do it easily.

🧢 Gaz : Faking Price's signature

This is a dangerous talent. He can't use it just because he wants to. He could get into trouble if he uses it recklessly. People first found out about his talent when 141 needed Price's signature and it was urgent. Price was nowhere to be found and they had tried calling him. Price just said just wait until he's back or just copy his signature from another document. Gaz volunteered to try copying their Captain's signature and surprisingly it came out exactly the same.

From then on, if the situation was urgent and as long as he had Price's permission, he would sign documents that required Price's signature in his absence.

🧼 Soap : Handling spicy food

He surprised everyone with his high tolerance to spice. When I said high, I mean really high. Everyone thought he was just the typical white dude who would think black pepper is spicy. But when Alex dared the 141 to try eat chicken wings with the Da Bomb sauce, only who Soap didn't budge with the spice. He'd say something like, "it's nice" and continue to finish his chicken wings.

That scene made everyone question their whole life. Gaz and Farah, who could usually handle the spice, gave up after the first few bites. Bambi, who eats Korean fire noodles for breakfast, couldn't even finish her chicken.

🎀 Bambi : Classical singing

Everyone knows Bambi has a few talents in arts. The most commonly known is her dancing ability. But only a few know that she can sing. Let alone classical singing. She was never serious when it came to singing, especially in front of others. She'd sing seriously only when she wanted to and that one precious moment was when there was a singing competition in the agency. Her competitive ass wouldn't let anyone win.

She used to learn classical music and singing techniques when she was little, but stopped because she wanted to focus on dancing.

#random hcs #call of duty #call of duty original character #cod oc #cod original character #original character #ghost cod #athea 'bambi' diggory #simon ghost riley #captain john price #captain price #ghost call of duty #john soap mactavish #soap call of duty #soap cod #gaz cod #kyle gaz garrick #gaz call of duty #call of duty headcanons #call of duty hc #cod hcs #cod headcanons

[blnk338]

COD HEADCANONS 2

Here's the link to the first b/c y'all loved it sm ty <3

Go read my Ghost x Reader on AO3 | Reap What You Sow

Relationship hcs!!!

Gaz:

Undiagnosed dyslexia

Soap will say some dumb shit about it and Gaz will fire back with something like “you need autocorrect irl b/c no one can fucking understand you”

Hates winter; this is a summer boy!

Ghost told him that Soap’s Halloween party was a dress-up party, but Gaz took it as a sexy dress-up party and came in a slutty nun outfit

Ghost had to go to the bathroom because he was tearing up from trying to hold back his laughter

Can’t pull all-nighters

This bitch NEEDS 8 hours or he’s not happy

Like… he can pull them, but you unlock this secret character trait of “ultimate fucking bitch Kyle”

Got really into Overwatch and then didn’t tell anyone after it died (pre OW2), then was fucking insane at every character when OW2 came out

Soap hates his ass for this

Flexes, only character he doesn’t like is Hanzo (still upset about the scatter arrow removal)

Tinyass bladder

“I have to pee”

“WE LEFT EIGHT MINUTES AGO WHAT DO YOU MEAN?”

Really gentle with his friends, him and Soap’s bromance goes crazy like they’ll do that thing where they almost kiss and they pull back and go “WOAAAAAAH WOAHHHHHHH”

Thinks hairless cats are gross

Ghost:

The kind of guy to sit back and watch shit unfold unless the person who (is getting / is about to get) their shit rocked is someone he respects

Previously had an allergy to shellfish

Raw dogged it until the allergy literally went away

Exposure therapy, man

Knows what “L + Ratio” means and HAS used it against Soap once

Soap and Gaz lost their fuckin beans when he said it and they’ve never forgotten it

Sorta plain texter – really just like “K,” “Ok,” “Did you eat.”

Doesn’t use a lot of question marks

No question marks or really any punctuation other than a period at the end of EVERY text

Doesn’t use Apple emojis or Android, but the text version

Like :)

BUT ALWAYS ENDS THEM IN A PERIOD :).

Eventually unlearns this but ending everything like a sentence lasted for a while

He won’t say openly if he’s annoyed, but will add a little extra sharpness to his stare

Great at FPS games, chooses to not use the mic because he likes shitting on dumb mfkrs and listening to them bitch when he wins 1v1’s

Played OW for Soap and Gaz and got really fucking good at Zen, but almost always plays DPS

Learned how to build computers and finds it really relaxing

Soap and Gaz both asked for him to make them PCs and he said “no,” then did both of them in the span of one 3-week break cycle

Knows everyone’s addresses

How the fuck does he know everyone’s addresses

Definitely the guy to say a random set of numbers pretending like its someone’s IP address

“The Riley Murders” is a popular true-crime segment; literally avoids all true-crime media because of this

Not really a fan of the holidays, but he does put in the effort to be at the 141 parties and get-togethers for his team

Panic attacks for him aren’t obvious. He just stands there, holding his gaze at one spot while he clenches his jaw/fist, trying to push out the ringing in his ears

Doesn’t dress up for Halloween or does the bare minimum (antlers on top of his head, a single bowtie, etc)

Alejandro:

Uses all emojis

ESPECIALLY THE CATS

Weird about how much he likes Minions

Fucked up knee from tearing his ACL as a kid

Like his knees pop when he kneel down and shit

Bros so anti-drug he doesn’t like prescription drugs

*Bleeding out* “Tylenol? Why would I need that?”

His whole house is carpeted aside from the kitchen

No, you don’t understand. Carpeted bathrooms

Man has cold feet

Socks and indoor slippers but he’s got those luxury Ugg slippers that he wears religiously

Hates it when people chew with their mouth open

WILL MENTION IT

Plays Candy Crush

Owns an old Dell laptop, doesn’t play PC or console games

Price:

POP POP POP his joints are shit but good enough for the army ig

Tried yoga, didn’t have enough motivation to keep going, but still says he does yoga (it’s been like four years n Laswell gets on his ass about it)

“Overwatch? We’re off right now, why are we talking about this?”

“You have three guys on you? What are you talking about?”

Confused dad

Heavyweight drinker; man likes his beers

Gaz called him "dad" once and he owns it like a fucking medal

Says “back in my day” to fuck with everyone

Sings the Star Spangled Banner in the most heinously British accent he can

He only knows “Oh say can you see, by the dawns early light, oh so proud…” and then bullshits the rest

Soap:

Bisexual. No preference.

Not really a “will kiss anyone” but more of a “please let me kiss someone”

Flirts with fuckin’ anyone and everyone but the issue is that he just doesn’t stay in one place because of work, so unless he’s dating someone in the field (which is super rare), it’s mostly just flings

“Guys, let’s do the brown note endurance contest.” (Google “brown note youtube”)

Spells Spongebob like “Spunch Bob”

“I am not paid enough to do that.”

OW junkie, but likes story games a lot

Support/Tank main (Mercy and Reinhardt)

The Last Of Us fucking ended him; fav character is Joel :)

Hard of hearing in his right ear

Yells “WOT?” all the fucking time

#cod mwii #cod mw2 #john price #simon ghost riley #kyle gaz garrick #soap mactavish #call of duty #mwf2 headcanons #headcanon #cod headcanons #yes these all apply to Reap What You Sow #rwys ff #rwys #rwys soap #rwys price #rwys ghost #rwys gaz

[peelingitwithpeels]

Random hcs that popped in my head pt. 2

◦ Gretchen and co. decided the best way to get to Bo is to make his room completely messy while interviewing him so when he went back he freaks out because at home his dad emphasized on cleanliness and the mess will revert Bo into a panic mode

◦ Whenever Henry makes friends Seth makes a point of trying to steal them and at some point Henry just stopped having people beside Paige over

◦ Josh is lactose intolerant and loves ice cream ( yes he eats it despite it being dairy he doesn’t care)

◦ Kirin needs glasses but refuses to wear them and Henry can tell he needs glasses and keeps hinting to him to go get glasses

◦ Scotty and Bo are both huge Marvel nerds and Scotty always gets excited when a character makes a cameo

◦ Post island, Scotty FaceTimed Ivan to scream in excitement over the announcement of Black Panther 2 and they agree to go see it in theaters together

◦ Raf gives Josh a ride from school all the time and Josh makes a point to show him a magic trick every once in awhile

◦ Kirin and Ivan have weekly sleepovers where Ivan “forces” Kirin to wear a face mask with him and watch Horror movies

◦ Henry’s mom surprised Henry with tickets to see Frank Ocean and Henry invited Ivan who instantly said yes

◦ The first birthday Henry has without Seth, all the boys surprise him at his doorstep ( Henry almost immediately slam the door out of shock)

◦ Bo has a guilty pleasure for Rom coms and his favorite one is “About Time” and on the island him and Martha bond over their shared love for romance movies

◦ Josh comes over Raf’s house all the time post island and Raf’s parents are so use to him that they make a plate for him for dinner

◦ Paige is taller than Henry and is the only person he allows to touch his hair

◦ Raf gets back into soccer and mentions it ONCE to Kirin and Kirin blows his phone up with every cheesy sport pun alive god forbid the day he tells him he won a game; he will get a literal long ass voice memo of excitement

◦ The boys copied Kirin’s music video for Kirin’s birthday and sent it to him ( Kirin watches the video all the time)

◦ Josh mentioned that he likes star wars and Henry almost immediately adopted him as a brother ( they go to comic cons together )

◦ Out of all the boys, Henry and Josh are the only ones who likes Pineapple on their pizza

◦ Kirin adopts a pitbull and names her Buttercup( whenever everyone visit they tell him they’re only there for Buttercup and Ivan makes it a point to post her so much on his instagram that people assume it’s his dog)

◦ Raf has the WORST taste in men and he would send Ivan pictures of boys he thought were cute and it went like “thoughts??” “And prayers Raf I don’t know what you want from me” Raf got his revenge when Ivan sent him a photo of a boy he thought was cute “thoughts??” “And prayers Ivan I don’t know what you want from me 😞”

◦ Bo was given the aux and played “Mr. Brightside” and everyone in the car was shocked except for Scotty (for the rest of the song him and Henry would be shouting the lyrics)

#the wilds #bo leonard #henry tanaka #kirin o'conner #scotty simms #josh herbert #rafael garcia #ivan taylor

[scales-of-murmuration]

.

#[how come I feel like Nagini is the person who just gets drunk] #[and starts complimenting people] #[because this is a random ass HC that popped into my head that I needed to share] #character headcanons #to be deleted #[… now I wanna write it whoops]

[miekasa]

mie.. i’m going into another eren phase.. so can you pls tell me your fav boyfie eren hcs…

Yeah, why not. I have so many random ones because he is my boyfriend <333 so here you gp

sfw

Eren doesn't actually work out all that often. He’s always been athletic, so his exercise comes in the form of playing sports, but he doesn’t really go to the gym outside of playing/practice.

Loves cake pops, more often than not “treats himself” to one after an exam or assignment, or whenever he feels like it lmfao. He basically eats it all in one bite, keeps the stick in his mouth to fidget with until he finds a trashcan. 

Likes seeing you in his hoodies because, well, it’s his hoodie on you; but mostly because of the size of the actual hood on you. He thinks it’s so funny but also pretty cute how the hood alone swallows you up. 

Grocery shopping with you is one of his favorite activities. He rarely goes by himself—if not with you, then with Mikasa or Armin—and all he really does is follow you around the store and occasionally put some stuff in the cart, but he still loves it. He likes running and then jumping on the cart like it’s a scooter. 

No matter how many makeup tutorials he watches, or how many times he watches you do your own makeup, he doesn’t really understand how it works lmfao. He likes watching it, and he thinks you look pretty if wearing makeup is your thing, but he baffles him how a little tube of concealer brightens your under eye.

Speaking of which, he sits criss cross applesauce either on your bed or on the toilet if you’re in the bathroom, while he watches you do your makeup. Counts the steps in his head, always confuses the contour and bronzer. It’s okay, he’s learning. 

He both likes and dislikes FaceTime. He likes the convenience of it (and will abuse it by calling you even tho you’ve just barely left his house), but he would much rather just go and see you; so he does. Unless there’s something keeping you apart, Eren will make the effort and the trip to go and see you, even if it’s late at night. 

He gets warm very easily, but always has some sort of coat/outerwear on him, even if it’s just a light windbreaker. He usually ends up hanging it over your shoulders or telling you to wear it because you “look cold” when he wants to take it off. 

He walks just like a half step behind you; technically still by your side, but trailing you by the tiniest amount. That way he gets to be with you and watch you, and also steer you away from anything/anyone else he sees ahead while you’re walking. 

If he notices your shoelaces are untied, he gently pokes your shoulder to get you to stop, then bends down and ties them for you. 

His phone case is brown leather, and has your initials engraved at the very bottom in a very tiny, dark green font. 

Likes walking around with you at night so congrats on having your own personal guard dog for Safety lmfaoo. Sometimes you guys don’t even talk; he just wants to hold your hand and wander around, and just be with you for a little bit. 

He is the one putting hair ties on YOUR gear shift and around YOUR wrist. Marking his territory lmfaooo

Learns to like coffee in college, and learns your Starbucks order pretty quickly. He’s got a very small addiction, but he always buys you a cup when he gets his own, so at least it’s beneficial for you. He doesn’t usually have much an extreme sweet tooth, but he takes his coffee with quite a few pumps of syrup and/or sweetener. 

Eren loves hugs, and once he starts getting them, he refuses to go with out them. Back hugs are his favorite, whether it be you hugging him from behind, or him doing it to you; either works for him, both feel like heaven. 

You know when it’s time to head home after a party/hanging with your friends because Eren will drape himself over you and gradually apply more of his body weight the more tired/drunk he gets. Regardless of whether or not he’s sloshed, he’ll still press very light and innocent kisses onto your neck and ears. 

Turns out he really likes getting kisses on his cheeks. It always takes him by surprise; his eyes widen and his eyebrows raise just a bit, but he usually evens out his expression before you pull back, so you don’t see. What you do see is the sorta glazed over, happy look in his eyes, and if you look closely, you might see his pupils dilate, too. 

He actually doesn’t mind reading, he just never thinks to read in his free time. When he does remember, and what he’s reading is interesting to him, he finishes the book pretty quickly—a few days, maybe a week at most—it’s kind of impressive. Then he goes on to not look at another book for a good five months lmfao. 

Asked you what detergent and fabric softener you used on your sheets, then bought the exact same products to do his laundry with. 

He picks you up pretty often. It’s not always tossing you over his shoulder, or carrying you bridal style, but if he needs to get to something behind you in the kitchen he’ll just. Just pick you up, turn, plop you down, get what he needs, pick you up, turn around again, and plop you right back into place. Like a doll. 

Actually very good and very meticulous when it comes to cleaning. Not a single hard water stain in sight on your dishes. Sparkling countertops and tables, your oven has never looked shinier than when he’s done with it. 

Doodles on his notes when he’s bored in class. Doodles on your notes if he’s bored in class and you’re there, too. 

He claims to not get jealous easily, but he definitely does. His methods of dealing with it are either to (a) pout (usually only happens when he gets jealous of someone you’re telling him about), (b) find an excuse to pull you away from this other person, (c) be extremely cold to this other person, (d) pretend to be sick/tired/hungry as an excuse for you to be concerned about him/dote on him in front of this other person (this is his favorite method). 

Will push your phone down/into your face if you’re laying down using it or just scrolling through your feeds. Thinks it’s peak comedy, always runs away with a little shit grin on his mouth. 

He’s always tuned into you, and sometimes physically turned to you, even in a larger conversation with other people around. Finds a way to pull you into the convo if you’ve been on the quieter side, nudges at your side under the table to bother you when you’re distracted, frequently looks at you even if someone else is talking. 

nsfw/suggestive

Eren really likes lazy sex, and it’s arguably one of his favorites; and for someone who’s not a morning person, he sure does like morning sex. He does this thing where he wakes up at like eight in the morning, starts feeling up on you, and eventually very lazily fucks you before you even have the chance to say good morning, then crashes and sleeps for another two hours. Sometimes he doesn’t pull out. 

Always gets hard when you do try on hauls of the new clothes you’ve bought; whether it be via FaceTime or in person. You could be showing him your new sweatpants, and he’ll still find it sexy. 

Can and will find time to grope you whenever possible. Getting water from the kitchen means you’re getting your ass smacked while you open the fridge. Putting on your shoes also means you’re getting your ass smacked when you bend over. Standing around debating on what to wear for the day means he’s coming up behind you to put his hands on your boobs. Doing your skincare routine in the bathroom means he’s got his hands on your hips squeezing at your skin. 

Likes being bitten. Will tell you to bite him; he’ll lean down while he’s fucking you, smile wickedly when you grab and claw at his back, and you’re gasping against his shoulder, “Wanna hurt me? Go ahead, baby, do your worst.” 

He loves making out with you, even if it doesn’t lead to sex; actually, sometimes, he prefers it that way. You make his head spin just by kissing him, and there’s a special kind of bliss of just rutting against each other without fucking that he loves. 

Lovesssss taking mirror selfie’s with you on his lap and your back to the mirror, especially right after sex. Your head resting on his shoulder and he just barely murmurs, “Stay right there, don’t move.” Might start a collection of pics like that.

Tugging on his ear acts as encouragement, but somewhat surprisingly, that sole action doesn’t necessarily turn him on; it doesn’t turn him off, and he likes it, but it’s more... soothing? than sexual to him. What you should do instead is put your hand on the back of his neck/touch the hair near his nape. 

He could have done all the work, but will still wrap you in his arms and kiss your head and tell you how good you are, how good you were to him. He really does think you fucked him 9/10 times and takes pride in it too lmaooo

Holds your jaw open with one hand, presses the index and middle fingers of his other hand against your tongue, and watches your spit pool around him. He exhales slowly at the sight, moving his fingers around to coat them evenly before pulling them out of your mouth and separating them; watches a thin line of spit connect them and groans. 

Holds you jaw a lot, actually: when you’re kissing, when you’re blowing him, when he’s on top and fucking you, when he’s fucking you from behind, he’ll pull you up with one hand, use two fingers and turn your head to the side so he can kiss you. 

It’s him that kinda loses it first most of the time; that gets that fucked out, hazy look in his eyes, that makes everything feel like too much so his head drops to your shoulder and he resorts to biting at your neck to further stimulate you. 

Likes sucking on your tongue when you kiss. Falls in love with you all over again on the spot when you do it back to him. 

You could just barely put your hands on him and Eren will groan, mutter about how you’re so sexy and how badly he wants to fuck you. Could just lay back with your chest heaving from kissing him and he’s got hearts in his eyes and his dick is hard. 

#anonymous #sick and twisted and lovely and precious my boyfriend ladies and germs!!!!! #eren x reader #aot x reader #eren fluff #eren smut #eren jaeger x reader #eren.ask

[sapphicwhxre]

ASTERIA'S 2.5K FOLLOWER FIC REC LIST

i read fics just as much as i write them so here are some of my favourites. tysmsm for this milestone, i love you all <3 quick note: i didn't re-tag anyone if i recommended more than one of your works because of the tag limit.

───────── girls ─────────

hermione granger

tuesdays - @stupxfy

probably one of my all time favs for hermione. it's just so well written and adorable and fluffy and yes.

if i could tell her - @hellounicorn

pining, pining, PINING. the way these emotions and hermione's described is just... art. perfection. there's a happy ending and it is so worth the build up.

darling dearest - @dracolvr

fluffy goodness. read to be hopelessly in love with hermione ─ which, let's be real, we all are.

november rain - @pansydaisy

uhm i love this one sm. it's so simple but amazing ─ everyone has their days like this and having hermione to cure them? it's what everyone needs.

i need more - @15-dogs

i sobbed the first time i read this. it'll break your heart but it's so amazingly written that it's worth the sadness. actual gut wrenching / mindblowing writing.

how the potter girls react to you in lingerie - @pottersanime

the title. need i say more?

honeyed eyes - @minty-malfoy

HEAVEN. being hermione's first kiss as friend? but both of you idiots liking each other? oh my god, sign me up.

hugging her from behind - @pastanest

again, the title. read to feel 🥺💙

grey days - @pepperimps01

PANSMIONE 😌😌 it's angsty with a happy ending and i love it sm. this does such a perfect job of capturing pansy and hermione's relationship growing and having its ups and downs with just a few paragraphs. honestly so good

grenade - @hellounicorn

another one that'll make your heart shatter. but in the best way. these are the fics i live for where the you can't help but feel like it's really happening to you and hermione and god it's so fucking powerful. underrated writing right here in general. and also pansmione is the loml so it hurts in that way.

honeybees - @pansydaisy

fluffy aesthetic heaven.

lead the way - @teacup-tai

more pansmione but this is pure filthy thinking and satisfies all the sexual tension dreams pansmione shippers have.

two queens in a king sized bed - @shysneeze

domestic christmas morning with hermione and it's angelic.

would you still love me if i turned into a worm? - @minty-malfoy

one of those blurbs i never imagined i'd read or love so much. not to mention it's spot on and adorable.

pansy parkinson

right and wrong - @starrkidmalfoy

a first kiss and the overdone trope that i will never get sick of, the bitch who's soft only for you. the descriptions in this are perfection and the writing is beautiful <3

messed up - @writseo

toxic, messed up love fics will be the death of me. insane how well you captured it all and i just yes damn fucking props.

pansy parkinson imagine - @moonlight-imagines

*screams* THE BEST FRIEND BANTER + THE ENDING OH MY GOD OH MY GOD ─ I SCREAMED WHEN I FIRST READ THIS. I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE IT.

dating pansy would include - @lotsoffandomimagines

ABSOLUTE POWER COUPLE SHIT and to this day, pansy saying "jealous much?" when being scolded for pda remains iconic.

grey days - @pepperimps01

as i said before: PANSMIONE 😌😌 it's angsty with a happy ending and i love it sm. this does such a perfect job of capturing pansy and hermione's relationship growing and having its ups and downs with just a few paragraphs. honestly so good

new rules - @silversslytherin

excuse me this is immaculate ─ pansy is the best friend and the second you see that she's also the best s/o, you're done for. perfection.

study "dates" - @turning-dreams-into-chaos

the title is self explanatory and this whole thing is fluffy heaven <3

how the potter girls react to you in lingerie - @pottersanime

read the title, thank me later.

lead the way - @teacup-tai

more pansmione but this is pure filthy thinking and satisfies all the sexual tension dreams pansmione shippers have.

traitor - @hufflepuff-writings

a masterpiece where pansy chooses the wrong side in the battle of hogwarts. this ties up so well and the writing is so powerful.

back alley love potions - @a-simple-imagine

this actually hurts but in a beautiful way. watching pansy give draco a love potion is such a fucking concept and this is executed incredibly.

my little bunny - @emmamarie7708

pansy making you do this is so dirty yet she's slightly sweet and i am a sucker for it. god is a woman and her name is pansy fucking parkinson.

pansy parkinson imagine - @moonlight-imagines

i'll let pansy beat people up for me all day. they put me in madame pomfrey's, feel my girlfriend's wrath.

ginny weasley

blissful - @enyastasia

fluffy ginny goodness. the friends to lovers? the amazing kiss? 🥺🥺🥺💞💞 this fic lives in my heart <3

bubble pop electric - @hunnypot-imagines

this is hotter than a lot of actual smut and the chemistry is so... wow. ginny weasley owns me.

dear ginny - @alyssamalfoy

how does this short ass letter manage to make me feel so much. it's sorcery but i don't even care, it's beautiful.

wildflower - @pansydaisy

will i ever get tired of cheeky i love yous? not when loves like ginny weasley and ayli's so so pretty writing exist.

all i want - @hellounicorn

ouch. fuck you harry :) quite possibly the best ginny fic i have ever read. insanely talented writing, i genuinely feel every touch of emotion you put down and you need to know how amazing that is. keep breaking my heart.

linny hcs - @bluebirdlinginthenest

who doesn't need good linny content in their life?

how the potter girls react to you in lingerie - @pottersanime

sexy bitch, fuck me up.

willow - @padmeamiala

ginny is the loml. her brothers can cry about it.

bellatrix lestrange

attempting to bake with bellatrix - @carters-coffee

MY FAVOURITE BELLA FIC ─ there's not enough bellatrix fluff out there but this makes up for the lack of. heaven.

bellatrix prompt - @carters-coffee

this gives me chills. she knows she's a bad bitch and that's what we love about her.

change of plans - @dumb-sbian

why THE FUCK have i not had a rainy morning with bellatrix? she can sleep and mumble something just like this and i'm still head over heels for her.

being tortured as bellatrix's girlfriend - @writings-of-a-british-fangirl

definitely a concept BUT this makes me feel some type of way and i recommend giving it a minute of your time 😌

bellatrix finding out you're a muggleborn - @carters-coffee

the beauty, the nuance omg. this is art.

bellatrix prompt - @carters-coffee

yep jealous bella. trust me, im all yours mommy <3

sex with bellatrix would include - @onegayastronaut

so short but... sign. me. up.

luna lovegood

never leave - @/deactivated

luna smut is hard asf to come by and this is my favourite. it's so luna and the pain over her not knowing, not getting that closure about how you feel until this is an amazing rollercoaster.

she - @hunnypot-imagines

the beauty of falling in love with luna, through this majorly talented writing. ten out of fucking ten. i will not elaborate but there's also majorly good association in this imo.

silver berries and flickering fireflies - @duskgrangers

i love this fic so much. she's so herself and that is why we ✨ simp ✨ and the scene set just sounds so prettyy

how the potter girls react to you in lingerie - @pottersanime

luna + this title? yes please, ma'am i am simping.

would you still love me if i turned into a worm? - @minty-malfoy

put me in your pocket luna. im begging you.

dancing in the rain with luna - @/deactivated

only luna would get you a dress to go dancing in the rain and this is the stuff of blissful, fluffy dreams.

hugging her from behind - @pastanest

short and cute, do me a favour and read it :)

dating luna lovegood would go like - @glossymalfoy

life is NOT worth it if you don't read these cute little headcanons and imagine dating ravenclaw's baddest bitch.

linny hc - @bluebirdlinginthenest

like i said, who doesn't need good linny content?

cho chang

strawberry kisses - @pansydaisy

the only cho fic i've been able to find and it's SO WORTH IT. the cutest, it flows so well, and i absolutely love it. i need this with cho tbh.

fleur delacour

toutes les etoiles - @coffee--writes

im in love with fleur and this amazing writing. and for the first time since i started high school, my three years of taking french feel good for something.

being best friends with fleur would include - @harrypotter-imaginess

not romantic but actually so sweet pls. i want this friendship in my life so bad.

nymphadora tonks

dating nymphadora tonks would include - @imaginesforgirls

dating her + that warm little feeling of bliss that only HCs can give you

taking care of her after the war - @random-imagines-blog

this kind of hurts in that good ass way and i lovee it. they're simple hcs but i feel for tonks so much and then there's that warm lil feeling when you're the one to put her back together aand now my primary life goal is to help this woman heal.

───────── boys ─────────

harry potter

phosphenes - @minty-malfoy

ok shakespeare, the fuck?? this fic will never not get me right in the heart. the angst, holy fuck. and for once, the reader doesn't hurt harry and let draco walk all over them and it's just done so well. the transition from a toxic relationship to a sweet, loving one PLEASE. it's beautiful.

happy memories - @15-dogs

how does this manage to be so. smutty and fluffy at the same time? this is one of those short ones that has lived in my head, rent-free since i read it. and tbh any fic that includes expecto patronum is guaranteed to be good.

come back to me - @wondernimbus

right from the beginning, it's a mess of emotions both good and bad. that kind of good ass writing that hits you in the heart <3

making out with harry potter would include - @badfvith

read this title. done? now thank me later.

harry prompt - @thoseofgreatambition

harry x a sarcastic swooning bitch is an elite trope idc. short and sweet, i'm marrying this fic.

keep your eyes on the prize - @rowema-ravenclaw

first of all, showing harry up and second, pure fluff (and a little steam) right after. i also love how she writes harry in general because he's totally safe/in love with the relationship but still has that awkward lovable shyness and i just... *sighs*

always - @pansydaisy

uhm i will always love him and always reread this a thousand times so its a fit title + a good read.

late night studying - @lumosandnoxwriting

fuck studying, let his hand stay in my shirt. once again recommending fluffy bliss in the form of a short read that makes me feel things <3

would you still love me if i turned into a worm? - @minty-malfoy

he's so stupid. but he still loves you + this is from our resident perfectly talented writer so its a win.

cuddling after a rough quidditch practice - @badfvith

harry james potter is : b a b y

gryffindor's victory - @rowema-ravenclaw

make me gryffindors fucking cheerleader because HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT. AND THE WRITING IS IMMACULATE PLEASE. just read it, you won't regret it.

draco malfoy

silent treatment - @slytherinwh0re

andy's mad talented and this is just... insert a cheesy chefs kiss. unbelievably adorable but so fucking hot and an actually good smut plot (which is rare lmfao). remind me to give draco the silent treatment every time im upset.

rewards - @malfoysstilinski

so hot PLS. hype him up for the match and get your reward, bye. so good.

reading between the lines - @minty-malfoy

i've said this a thousand times but that's what happens when you've got a mad talented mutual BLESSING everyone with beauty like this. butterflies and warm feelings all around when i read this 💓

point of view - @draconisxcaput

its angst for hermione and fluff for you but overall ethereal writing. i am never going to recover from the pure talent that this is.

im not kidding im dying - @malfoysmatrioshka

i hate being sick with a passion but this... this would make it worth it.

hogwarts express - @/deactivated

draco fucking you because he knows harry's watching. the shit of legends and god is it hot.

draco laughing at you because you can't walk after sex - @glossymalfoy

*motions to the title* fluff with this loser 😌

the cheeseburger - @slytherinwh0re

really short read but this is one of those things i just. didn't know i needed. you're missing out and haven't even realised it if you haven't read about introducing him to cheeseburgers. and that ending is so funny/in character to me i fucking love it.

four am - @malfoysstilinski

domestic draco 🥺 but also sad draco 🥺 and then fluffy draco 🥺

hugging him from behind - @pastanest

real short and it'll brighten your day <3

would you still love me if i turned into a worm? - @minty-malfoy

how is it that this is so stupidly adorable. i love it 💘

ron weasley

heather - @hellounicorn

always making me cry with your fics i swearrr. this is a must-read. having someone but them not really being yours is a beautiful trope and this fic absolutely does it wonderful, poetic justice. your angst is addicting.

apple pie - @pregnant-piggy

ABSOLUTE DOMESTIC BLISS I AM IN LOVE. i don't even like kids or baking that much but this made me so soft. the whole cozy, heavenly vibes from this fic yes yes yes.

jealousy - @writeroutoftime

cliché jealousy turns friends to lovers and i am a sucker for it all over again <3

shaking and trembling - @ronsbadidea

if ron doesn't finger fuck me and then make a cheeky comment about it in class later then WHAT IS THE POINT :(

mixed signals - @iamthecabbage

i've always figured ron is this awkward idiot cutie with a crush and yea, this is it.

fred and george weasley

i love you, but you don't - @george-fabian-weasley

fred's a character i really don't read for often but goddamn. it's the saddest, most beautiful mix of rejection and pain and fred desperately caring but not in the way you want him to ─ an angsty masterpiece.

cockwarming george - @roonilwazlibimagines

because of this filthy gem, i one hundred thousand percent believe that he could make me cum without even fucking me and this is just... it's a good fucking read.

would you still love me if i turned into a worm? - @minty-malfoy

their responses are so wonderfully chaotic and adorable and GOD you're missing out if you haven't read these lil blurbs.

─

#harry potter x reader #hermione granger x reader #pansy parkinson x reader #luna lovegood x reader #ginny weasley x reader #draco malfoy x reader #fred weasley x reader #george weasley x reader #cho chang x reader #nymphadora tonks x reader #bellatrix lestrange x reader #ron weasley x reader #fleur delacour x reader #harry potter #fic recs #masterlist #smut #fluff #angst

[olenoname]

Sick of His Shit! Fem reader

Just a random HC that I thought of if Hidan were to get on my damn nerves.

Synopsis: You've been in the Akatsuki for five months now, you've went through some scrutiny for the first month until you have proven to everyone that you're more than competent and Akatsuki worthy, everyone except Hidan. This asshole, he knows you're good, he just won't admit it, he's about to learn today that you won't take any of his shit no more!

Warning: Swearing, violence, threats of violence, misogyny

It was a normal day, you and Deidara just returned to base from a three-day mission. As soon as you come home, you head straight towards the fridge to grab a soda and sit yourself down at the kitchen table. Sasori, Kakuzu, Hidan, and Zetsu were already there, Sasori was tinkering with one of his puppets, Zetsu was feeding a carnivorous plant he was nurturing, Kakuzu was reading the newspaper, and Hidan was on his phone. You sat next to Hidan without giving it much thought, you just wanted to enjoy your soda, then this idiot had to open his mouth. "Hey where ya been, sexy bitch", you just sigh "Hidan, you know where I've been" " yeah, yeah, so did Deidara have to carry your weight the whole way or sum'"? You knew he was trying to get under your skin, he's seen how you handle yourself during missions, he just wants to get a reaction out of you, but you don't give him the satisfaction.

"Hey man, lay off on her will ya, she can hold her own" Deidara defends "what? I'm just havin' some fun with her" "it's been going on long enough", Kakuzu retorts, not taking his eyes off the news paper "Y/N actually gets shit done, you're reckless because you're immortal so you fuck around in battle", Kakuzu adds while flipping a page. Hidan snorts and places his hands behind his head "man whatever, she's just a little bitch with ass who needs to do what she's told anyway". Somehow, that was your breaking point, you just wanted to chill, you needed a shower, and a long nap after your mission, was that too much to ask for? You also didn't like wasting your time with stupid and couldn't stand being seen as weak, you only allowed it at first because you knew you had to prove yourself to these S-ranked criminals before earning a sliver of respect from them. But you didn't know what this guy's deal was, you've never met anyone so obnoxious and he just had to be immortal.

You inhale sharply through your nose and exhale through your mouth before you calmly stand up looking defeated. Just when Hidan gets too comfortable, he feels a sudden hard grip around his neck and is hoisted up to you. He was met with a crazy look in your eyes, veins popping, and chakra radiating off you, you were seething. "Hidan, since I've been here, you've been nothing but a problem for me! You are going to start showing me some respect, and if you ever call me a bitch again, I'll cut your damn head off and skullfuck your brains out with a rusty ten-foot pole, you hear me"?! While you were on your tirade, everyone at the scene either raised an eyebrow or looked for a moment before going back to their business. "Alright girl.....chill", Hidan barely breathed out with the last gasp of air he had, you calm down with your hands still wrapped around his neck."You know he won't die, right"? Kakuzu asks, not that he cares "I know" you answer casually "don't you think you should let him go"? White Zetsu asks concerningly, not for him, it just wasn't a good look on you "just a little longer". You can hear Deidara and Kisame snickering in the next room. You finally let go after watching his eyes roll back and he falls on his ass. You look down at him pathetically catching his breath, you thought about it and concluded "on second thought". *Snikt* was all everyone heard before Hidan's body goes limp and they see his head rolling across the floor. No one pays much mind to you when you pick it up and walk over to the fridge to toss it in the freezer. Kisame and Deidara just bust out laughing their asses off as you walk away.

Bonus: Pein returns from a mission hours later and heads to the freezer to grab some ice cubes, the last thing he expected was a severed head inside, shivering with icicles running down its nose. His eyes darted up and down before reaching his hand in "you're in the way".

#akatsuki #akatsuki imagines #akatsuki x reader #fem reader #hidan headcanons #hidan #deidara #sasori #kakuzu #zetsu #kisame #pein #akatsuki x you #akatsuki idiots #baka

[tounacasserole]

random & kind of stupid half asleep, half assed appreciation post cause i wanna spread the love and for some reason sad thoughts in my head but let's ignore that (ft. my sleep deprivation sap, mutuals, ppl iloook up to, shitty puns and wordplay)

<3

@moonxma ur the moon :o you give me like calm and peaceful moon vibes like a blue moon!! ty for being one of the first who kind of kickstarted my whole commitment to being here and writing content :D

@raysano ray? more like ray of sunshine shdhefj bad pun but i love indirectly interacting with you through games and hope we get to know each other and interact more mwah /p

@appreciatingtokrev appreciatingtokrev? appreciating YOU you beautiful human being :)) i like seeing your little thoughts and whatnot around your blog bc i find them interesting to me in a good way

@mochi-coffee absolute sweetheart ∑(ﾟДﾟ) sweeter than ice cream mochi need i say more? no but seeing you wherever makes my day better for some reason because you give that positive n uplifting vibe. me 🤝 you waka skmps

@kallikrein me 🤝 you 🤝 mochi waka simps jdkfjskf ty for being one of the first to interact and leave messages in the tags of my silly little waka headcanons :]] and ty for being my majn source of waka brainrot too (￣∀￣) we krei-n (pronounced crying) over wakasa. i think that was fhe shittiest pun ive ever made in my entire life i apologize dearly

@simpywhore seeing your incorrect quotes make me snort in laughter a lot whenever i see them >:D we haven't interacted but i'm sure you're simp(l)y sweet ksjjfkfkskf

@offtaskotaku go follow them rn this is a threat /hj seriously so so underrated pls check out their work and send them requests i'm sure they work hard and they're bery nice :) great sense of humour 2 i like seeing u on my dash. makes me go off task for a bit to scroll through your blog and reread your hcs!!

@kakuchew also a contributor to my waka brainrot jshffkf your headcanons about the black dragons boys are so awesome and i love their shenanigans which makes it easier to envision them in my head!! less chewing on my thoughts and more space to appreciate them and you too :3

@sukunasbabymama your blog title is kk's safeplace and it sure as hell lives up to the name!! i get a homely vibe from you n i like seeing you pop up on my dash :D like my mama's homemade food! you've made me appreciate kakucho and mucho with your contrnt :))

@wwintersun holy crap i look up to you a whole ton!! your works are simply put masterpieces. when i read them it makes me feel fuzzy and warm it's like when the sun melts the winter away ;D i have a lot of your stuff saved in my drafts to reread on a bad day

@bajipaws your tokrev x male reader stuff has at least pawmped 5 more years into my lifespan (i'll take my leVe now). ur doing king shit and i can't wait to see more stuff from you!!!

@kageyahoe your latest work with baji made me Feel all the emotions /pos :] in fact all of your works do and made me love baji even more than i did before >:O i don't have a bad pun for you but honestly considering my punmanship you're lucky jdkfjskf

@shinscig i've interacted with you a grand total of one (1) time but you're so sweet :( i think your chifuyu drabble of painting flowers was one of the first fics i read here which: OOMPF /pos. that's it i can't describe it anymore better than that cause it's almost 3am. your braid train fic with mizo mid is also a big favourite :)! underrated they are

@softbajis You Have Made Me Feel Things but i swear most of it's good and soft besides the angst because it hurts so good hakfjwjfj i like seeing your little blurbs pop up from time to time!!

@tokyo-daaaamn-ji-gang I LOVE SEEING YOUR POSTS ABOUT THE MANGA THAT ARE ESPECIALLY SO FUNNY??? they're always a riot and the absolute best. i snorted so hard reading your recent one of the wake me up scene SHEIWKJFWKFJDJ

@koffeekoko your angst. hurts so good. mr sunshine, flowers, and you hurts the best. i am writhing on the floor as i type this (/notsrs) idk if this is weird but seeing your tag "jel loves you!" makes me smile internally :)) your works about insecurities they love also make me really really happy :']

@n0vad your headcanons are so comforting to read,,, they also inspired me to post some of my own too in a similar format (hope you don't mind sjfhe)! i also love that you post for more characters that don't have a ton of content!!

@sunhee-sun your writing is like warm sun after cold rain (i'm a great poet) it's inviting and a guilty pleasure to reread all of your tokrev stuff. bows down to you.

@kakubun my main source of love for bonten. helping hands is one of my favourites and inspired me to make a character based off of that :D your headcanons are also so funny to read and have become a great source of inspo!!

@xuxitheii another whose tokrev x male reader has fed more life into me (°▽°)b i've probably went through your blog at least thrice now reading your works especially since you're one of the first i followed! good shjt right there... your confessing to mitsuya one is my fabourite

thats all i can roll out i think because i dint want to flood everyone's inboxes since your mutuals are doing this too skfjekfjjs ʅ（◞‿◟）ʃ happy new year from this touma fish! 🐟 passes out

#chattertuna

[batarangsoundsdumb]

guess fucking what? my inbox is so fucking full right now i'm unloading all of this shit in one post.

For the 11th gotham memes: gothamites react to bruce being jacked in a tiktok he made with kids, like super yoked, ripped as hell

fucking hilarious thanks. i think i did it in one meme post, but i genuinely don't remember which one

i dunno which of the batfam would do this but one time i was sleeping over at a friends house and ended up on the floor bc the bed was so very small and i just stayed there because the rug was soft

that's a drunk jason move i don't know what to tell you

tim and jason are "i listen to pop punk" solidarity. whenever jason highjacks the batmobile theyll go on long ass car rides blaring mcr and paramore and then never talk about it again

as they should!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tim: no jason it's my turn using the aux cord i gotta put on my jams jason: don't you dare put on weird shit tim: don't worry, you're gonna love this *plays fearless (taylor's version)

hear me out hear me out, red hood stans 🤝 nightwing stans t h i g h s

holy shit yes.

SNL au: Bruce breaks character when pretending to superman and says something like "I'm not superman! You've seen his gps!! It's from 2001!!!" @sabeanybabe

superman flies past the snl building the next day just to say 'actually it's from 2005, i'm not a heathen'

does your back hurt from carrying the batfam fandom

it hurts more from the exotic rock collection i keep in my backpack, but thanks for the concern.

I love your posts by why would you always leave the best parts in the tags?

as a treat for the people that check the tags ;) (and also because i'm committed to the short post aesthetic)

somehow your playlist was everything i never knew i needed. i mean it. this is my new favorite playlist.

and don't you dare get a new favourite playlist!

babe ur stoner tim playlist is exactly too perfect, earth is literally blessed by ur existence

babe thanks so much! i love my stoner tim playlist because it's just my usual playlist but people think it's an artistic choice that i put taylor swift and britney spears in there, when it's just what i unironically like listening to

JANDKSKDK BILLY RAY CYRUS ON THE STONER TIM PLAYLIST I LOVE IT IT

again it's not even an ironic choice, i know every single word and i genuinely like the song

The last chapter of Fundamentals of Casework has me crying at work. Thanks I love it @dudelookitsalesbian

oh babe, i'm sorry, but also, not sorry i love chapter 4 so much it's my lovechild with the 'mental illness' tag

soooo....stumbled on your tumblr by some stroke of fate??? read your DC fanfic first. which is PHENOMENAL btw. then found all the batmemes; the funniest thing EVER bc everyone forgets about regular old gothamites. kept scrolling and your blog pops up as recommended. clicked on the ao3 for shits and giggles and waddaya know?!?!? it's YOU!!! you're LEGEND!!!! ever seen that meme? it's a video of a cat that got into a baseball field and the two announcers get really invested in his escape attempt and start giving a play by play of the cat instead of the game. memeable moment: "GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!"

i seriously think about this ask every single day and it's so fucking funny to me that i've never seen the meme you're referencing, but i still find myself going 'GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!' whenever i see something funny. but wow i'm glad you liked this steaming pile of garbage

Fav dc character overall? And fav batfamily character?

don't ask me to pick between the loves of my life, but i can tell you i've cried about every single batfamily member and also wally west (my beloved)

What's your opinion on fans having a problem with batfam being "too big"? And some even claim that batfam is just "Bruce Alfred Dick Damian" and the rest of them are just "friends and allies" (source: reddit) Personally, I like batfam because of this reason but idk

stupid. a family can never be too big. i'm not that big a fan of like huge batfam stuff with everybody from every single universe, because as much as it's funny for bruce to have like 30 kids, it just feels a little too OOC for me.

This is the best tag I've seen involving the batfam, thanks for thinking of it

This is canon now @nctxrejects

lmao yeah i think at that point alfred has had to sit through like at least a dozen coming out talks and just has a pride flag collection in the attic that he pulls out whenever a kid comes out

idk why batfam hits different as compared to any other superhero family

bc it's found family and usually the other superhero families are almost all genetically related in one way or another

I don't know if you watch the umbrella academy but I saw your last post about batcest and saw the similarities. But the thing is (although I think it's weird) in TUA, they addressed it by saying "they were raised as weapons, not siblings" or something along those lines, which is simply not the case with batfam.

yeah i watched tua but i also thought it was ridiculous and they still treated each other as siblings so i didn't like the luthor/allison thing, and am glad they stopped doing that shit bc it fucking sucked.

Hot take: Batcest shippers are the same people who believe adopted siblings are not actual siblings

smoking hot take: batcest shippers are the people who watch 'my sister got stuck in the washing machine' porn

Duke was adopted by Bruce?

not technically no, but do i, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb, look like i care?

True story but I had to change my freaking name because it used to be "Damien" and most people would go "OH LIKE DAMIAN WAYNE" like please I'm just tryna live

true story, but i don't actually think of damian when i hear the name damian, literally the first thing that pops up is damian darkh like bruh what?

apparently dc comics company supported comic stores by giving out new titles and stuff during the beginning of the pandemic to help them run and I just think that's wholesome

ah yeah that's so fucking cool, still don't like dc, the company, because this world is a capitalist hellhole and we're all owned by warner brothers or disney with no in between.

ayo looking at tumblr head canons and finding out bruce is actually a terrible father is a punch in the gut

lmao yes, in like 50% of comics bruce is a terrible father and it gives me whiplash

oooh I just saw the jason todd vs winter soldier post and the real question is: batman vs iron man

while iron man has like hundreds of cases of armor, batman could throw out an emp and have the guy dropping out of the sky in 2 seconds.

dickfast = fastdick = quickdick = quickie

magnum hot take

hey bata(?) just thought I'd let you know I have copied the obnoxious emoji and Billy Ray post for use on simping men going forth

thank you 😘🌷 (@spacebarsidecar)

why would you do that to your followers???? i get why i did it, but why would you???

what is scarecrow made the nightwing funko pop himself, like those diy-ers that paint over other ones

oh god no, horrible take, horrible take, that's a disgusting thought oh no

I see your HC that Bruce and Oliver fucked and raise you this: Dick and Roy ALSO fucked

yes they did and it was a horrible moment for jason to find out dick has fucked both of his best friends

"at this rate bruce adds like 1 child to his family every decade or so" Duke is introduced in 2013, Damian as Damian, not as an unnamed child, in 2006. And he is already 14 years old, Robins rarely remain Robins after 16 😬 It looks like a new Robin and Batkid will appear in a couple of years

i mean i can't wait? but somebody will probably die first tho, we're due for another major character death. my money's on either cass or duke this time.

BRO you're so right all of your Bruce's ex headcanons are amazing but they aren't ships, that's kinda wild. Like I don't want any peeks into how their relationship was I just want to see everyone make fun of them

lmao YES it's just i love bruce being a slut, like good for him.

I am in love with your posts your honour thank you

omg thanks are we like,, gonna kiss now?

The justice league needs to have a meeting to discuss how many of their members/partners have slept with bruce. Because through a combination of cannon & fannon (if DC wasn’t homophobic) we have AT LEAST: 1) clark 2) lois 3) oliver 4) dinah 5) john

Thats not counting villains or random civilians @dudelookitsalesbian

yes yes yes, they'll have a yearly meeting about how many of their collective exes could be out for revenge and batman's list just keeps getting longer.

tim was like "i'm drake now" and everyone was like ahh so your fursona is a dragon and tim was like pffffft no. ducks.

and what about it?

when steph's fighting livewire and she zaps her with lighting and nothing happens and then they both just. stand there awkwardly for a second and talk. yeah i couldn't stop laughing at that batgirl steph is the BEST

oh yeah that was fucking hilarious and i think it would be so cool and sexy of dc to give steph a little comic series,,, as a treat

Hi I absolutely adore all of yours "Bruce and Oliver very badly pretending they didn't fuck each other" memes

lmao i do too

I need you to know that “Bruce Wayne had frosted tips” is one of my favorite Bruce takes of all time it’s so galaxy brained. you’re right and you should say it

he also painted his hair blonde once when he was travelling and in conclusion, this is why he's being blackmailed by the gotham gazette.

you know my thing about gordon being branded as the only good cop in gotham is its a load of shit like arguably he's a good person and not working to screw people over or anything but the fact that he also works w. batman makes him a shit cop. like yea batman is better than the mob but its still illegal its still an abuse of power he just not making bank

babe, all cops are bad cops. (but yeah youre absolutely right, working with vigilantes makes you a shit cop, but also working against vigilantes just makes you an asshole cop yanno?)

ruh roh i think i’m about to add “so not yeehaw” every time i don’t like something

that's a very good vocabulary upgrade

somehow i feel like steph already knew. like babs obviously knew but i feel like bruce got high/drunk in front of steph and started telling his boarding school stories and steph was just like “oh you fucked up i’m never gonna forget this”

steph and bruce have weird uncle/rebellious niece dynamic and they just hang out sometimes and bruce will be like 'i once broke my arm when i tripped over a hedge when i was drunk so oliver drove me to the hospital on an electric scooter' and steph will just have to sit there with that knowledge in her head.

Hello I just wanted to tell you you are So right in all your steph opinions bc she is, in fact amazing and I think that's very sexy of you. Ps. Your Bruce/Oliver fic is hilarious

babe, thank you so much and yes steph is amazing and i love her and she deserves the world and she's the best member of the batfam hands down. also thanks

In Supersons we see a couple of kids that are implied to be Damian and Jon's children and the boy has laser eyes and can fly, so I asume he's not adopted. The girl, who calls Bruce grandpa, can also fly, btw. So it's canon (probably by accident) that Jon can have kids and he must have married one of Bruce's kids. (I'm hoping for Damian, mostly because any other of his children would be waaaaaaaaaaaaay too old.) @artemisa97

lmao that was probably an accident seeing as jon is a 17 year old superhero in the year 3000 (by the jonas brothers)

You know, I'm a die hard fan of your memes, but I gotta say one thing: if Gothamites actually took gas mask everywhere with them, then the Scarecrow would just be a weird dude in a weird costume, and not a villain oh so scary. DC really should just takes notes from you.

bold of you to assume there's no gothamite anti-maskers

How does it feel being the funniest person on this app?

horrible, next question.

I can't listen to Green Day or Billy Joel without thinking of your post about how Bruce got arrested at a Billy Joel concert @nightwings-kid

yeah that's your mistake, i on the other hand can't enjoy billy joel without thinking about the glee rendition of 'uptown girl'

I've FINALLY been watching the Batman animated series and I gotta say, after watching "the gray ghost" I am CONVINCED that Batman is a closeted super hero geek who was 100% freaking out the first time he met Superman and is just REALLY good at hiding it.

superman: so what do you do in your free time? batman, thinking about the superman fanfiction he's writing on the batcomputer: i have no free time

bruce and oliver be like boyfriends to co-workers 401k (do the justice leagues get 401ks??? not that bruce and ollie would need them, but-)

lmao yes just 400 thousand words of bruce realising 'oh dip oliver is such a fucking dumbass' (also i don't know what a 401 k is but i assume they don't?)

Gothamites would totally boo superman as he saves Gotham while batman is out. @meenje

he's like 'okay think about that next time you want to be saved from an alien octopus'

I just took long break from dc comics and I come back to see ric grayson ??

i think it's very cool and sexy of dc to see dick and just think 'you know what? let's just give him a traumatic brain injury' and then didn't develop his character in any real way

SPEAKING OF RIC GRAYSON, gothamites making confused memes out of ric grayson is much needed

'dick grayson is my taxi driver? can anyone explain what the fuck happened he looks like an italian plumber?'

i hate to say it but batfam are def "marvel characters" in that sense they are characters who are human but become superheroes unlike most dc characters who are gods trying to be human maybe this is why I like batfam

fair enough

#this is only like half of it #but at least you can get like a few answers #yanno fuck it #bataranswers #ask #asks #anon

[angelicspaceprince]

SFW Alphabet Heisenberg Headcanons

I posted these on my AO3 but I thought I’d move my headcanons onto Tumblr too - all fanfics are staying on AO3 at this stage.

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Heisenberg is a man of action, not of words. He’d be more inclined to show affection through gift giving or physical touch once you’ve reached that level of familiarity around him. In public, definitely a lot more possessive behaviour that’s merged in with physical affection, like his arm around your shoulders or waist, hand holding, making sure you’re within arms reach.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

There would be so much swearing. You’d have to be forced to be around him for a long time before he warmed up to you, and would have to prove that you were trying to be friends with the intent of being his friend, not for Miranda’s or your gain. I personally HC that he and Donna get along well enough that they spend time with one another sometimes, so even being an acquaintance of Donna’s and meeting that way would help speed things up a bit. He’d pop in on you during really bad moments ‘just to say hi’ but then you wouldn’t hear from him for months because he’s too focused on his metal army to realise how much time has passed.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

He will never admit it, but he does love a cuddle. If you manage to convince him to have a cuddle session with you, he will always, always insist on being the mattress or the big spoon, and will play with your hair and trace random words and numbers against your back. When he’s had enough or needs to do something he will make a snide remark about you having had your fun and he needs to get up to do actual adult shit now, but you always find he’s a lot calmer after having a good cuddle. During rough days are the days that he will approach you directly and state plainly that he wants you to be the big spoon or the mattress, loving the feeling of your hands in his hair or playing with his various necklaces or tracing weird patterns that don’t make sense against his skin. He loves a good cuddle, but again. He will deny it until his last breath.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Heisenberg can cook one (1) meal and he burns it every single time. He claims it ‘adds flavour’, but in reality he was so focused on something that he forgot that he had something on the stove until he smelt smoke. He’s also not a clean man, not organised - shit just goes on the floor and when he needs it, he eventually finds it or a replacement.

I don’t think Heisenberg would want to settle down intentionally. He’s so focused on leaving the village that it consumes every waking and sleeping thought. But, that being said, if someone was to arrive and start acting domestic around him once he’d lowered his walls enough, he’d quickly fall into some sense of routine that looks very, very domestic from the outside. He’s very much the sort of man who doesn’t ask you out, you just end up dating somehow.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

Cut and run. He doesn’t had time for emotions (before leaving the village) and he’s not good with words so he’d rather just up and leave and save himself the hassle. Probably wouldn’t even leave a note or send a text, you’d just have to figure it out for yourself that he was alive and had left you and not dead in a ditch.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Definitely not whilst living in the village. Again, he’d not really ask someone to be in a relationship more than he’d just fall into one. But, once he’s realised that you’re dating (and after he’s left the village, whichever comes last), he may start thinking about something more long term. I feel like it would take years for him to realise that he wants to marry you, and then years again before he asks. You’ve got to be in it for the long-haul and after escaping the village, there is a lot of healing that would need to take place. So. Don’t expect marriage any time soon.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Surprisingly, very? He’s a hard ass at first, but the longer you know him and the more he drops his guard, the more you realise he’s a big ole softy underneath his hard shell. He wears a lot of his more intense emotions on his sleeves, but the more intimate ones are harder to come by and usually it takes a unique gaze to realise that he’s been gentle to you for a while, it’s just in a very Heisenberg way.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Same with cuddling, he’ll never admit that he likes them but he does. You have to initiate most hugs, with his preference being you pressed up against his back as he sits by his desk or table with your head resting either on top or next to his own. He’s always warm, and a weird but comforting blend of strong muscle with soft fat makes his hugs some of the best you’ve ever experienced. Sometimes he needs them for a little pick me up and sometimes you need them for the same reason. If you ask him to hug you first, with your head pressed against his chest or shoulder, he will grumble and tease you a little, but never, ever deny you.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

Oh, forever. I’m convinced that Heisenberg shows his love rather than says it - you learn his little love declarations as time goes on (him fussing over you or saying some form of praise where an ‘I love you’ would be appropriate, him making or doing something for you. Stuff like that). I don’t think Heisenberg would say I love you very often, it’d only be during highly emotional or important moments that the word would just slip out.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Ahaha. Ahaha. Ahahahahaha. Yeah no he gets jealous a lot. It does not take much. Angie demanding too much of your time? Jealous. Alcina inviting you to dinner with her and her girls. Jealous. That random kid from the village asking you for help and giving you a flower as thanks? Jealous. He tends to get more closed off to you and short, and if it’s Alcina who’s the one who makes him feel this way or, heaven forbid, someone showing interest in you romantically, there will be violence. Otherwise, just a lot of pouting and occasional rants about how they know not to bother you and he’s only looking out for you and is definitely not jealous that your attention can’t be on him 100% of the time.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Rough, scratchy. Usually heated but every now and again you’ll have a soft make out session or give each other a simple peck as you walk by. He loves kissing your shoulders and neck just to see you shiver, and forehead kisses are his preferred way to show affection in this manner. He isn’t that fussed where he’s kissed, just as long as he gets to feel your lips against him in some way.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Depends on the age - useless with babies. Absolutely useless. But once kids start talking and he’s able to answer questions or teach them words and phrases that will have their parents seeing red? He’s incredible, mostly because he’s having the time of his life teaching them anything and everything, including different swears to share with their parents the moment they get home.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Pre escape: Each start to the day usually revolves around trying to find out where he’s passed out this time, or if he’s slept at all. Usually you’d bring him something to eat and drink to keep him going and ask what he worked on overnight before you go to get ready for your day.

Post escape: Most mornings, he’d wake up before you and you’d be woken by him playing with your hair or tracing his fingertips against your skin. You’ve taught him how to use the coffee machine, so sometimes he’ll have a coffee there waiting for you. It takes a lot of work for you to pull away from him in the mornings, mostly because he refuses to let you go, but regardless, its a stark contrast to the way he was before escaping Miranda.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Pre escape: You try and stay up with him as long as possible, not wanting him to not have the company. Eventually, you pass out next to him, something he finds hysterical and heartwarming at the same time - he’ll never admit it but he never thought he’d meet anyone that would trust him enough to fall asleep next to him. He usually lets you rest there for a little bit, finding comfort in your soft snoring and occasional shifting, before he picks you up and carries you to bed, making sure you’re tucked in nice and warm before going back to his work. The softness can wait for after you’ve both survived his escape plan, and not a second before.

Post escape: I see two things happening frequently: The first is you falling asleep on the couch with your legs in his lap as you struggle to stay awake as he watches a show on the telly. You don’t want to leave but you struggle to stay awake. When the show is finished, he picks you up and, much like back at the village, carries you to bed but only this time he crawls in after you, curling you up against his side or slotting your back against his front, falling asleep seconds after he has you in a comfortable position for the both of you.

OR

You end up going to bed a little bit early to do something, maybe read a book or scroll on your phone, who knows. Heisenberg eventually joins you, crawling into your lap until his head is resting against your chest. He falls asleep on top of you as you play with his hair, his arms wrapped tightly around your middle as you continue helping to bring him down after a stressful day.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

So, so slowly. I’m talking at least a year of him being completely closed off because he even lowers his guard a little. He’s been hurt before, he’s been used before. And as far as he knows, you could be someone Miranda sent to him to keep tabs on him, or you could be toying with him for your own amusement. You really would have to show that you are there for him before he started opening up to you, and even then it wouldn’t be in waves, it would be in drips and trickles.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

This man has anger issues, he gets angry at the drop of a hat.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

He won’t remember stories, or names, or dates - time just blends into one, endless mess for him. But he will remember facts. You tell him your favourite colour or favourite snack? In his mind forever. You make an offhand remark about wanting something? Next time he’s at the Duke’s, he’ll see if he has any in stock.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

When you escaped the village by far, the pair of you in the back of the Duke’s cart as he gets the pair of you away after seeing your home blow up thanks to Ethan. It was the first time that the both of you weren’t on edge or scared that you were seconds away from death, and after the adrenaline of the escape had gone through your system, you were tucked up against his chest, fast asleep as Heisenberg chewed on his cigar, his arm wrapped tightly around you. It was a new beginning for the pair of you, and Heisenberg was excited to see exactly what the world had to offer to the both of you.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Incredibly, especially around Alcina and Mother Miranda. The other lords, not so much. He’s close enough to Donna to know that she wasn’t interested in stealing you, she only wanted to be her friend. Moreau was too scared of Heisenberg to try and pull any shit, the Duke was just a friend and he knew it would never go beyond that but everyone else? Is an immediate threat. There would be a lot of tugging you into his lap, keeping you tucked by his side, using his metal to hold you close. There would be a lot of threats and shouting as well as insult throwing if anyone so much as looked at you funny or made a small comment about taking you away, especially at Alcina. He’d try and keep you away from the village and from the family meetings as much as possible, and his hand would never leave your thigh or your waist if you were forced to attend. He’d make it clear that you were off limits to everyone and anyone.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

Not much? Maybe after escaping the village he’ll put a little more effort into certain anniversaries but dates are simple affairs, anniversaries don’t mean much to him. He’d rather show his love to you everyday through small tasks to make your life more comfortable than put all his effort into certain dates. Gifts, however, is where he puts most of his energy - he definitely makes most of his gifts for you. Be it something small that he thought you might like during the day to larger gifts that take time, he will make sure every part of it is perfect for you. You don’t get a gift every day, but you do get a gift most weeks.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Smoking in bed is one. He also has a tendency to focus too heavily on his escape plans that sometimes it can feel like you are being neglected. His bathing habits also are rather lacking too. He 100% wakes you up in the middle of the night to rant about something that is bothering him or explain excitedly to you something that he’s discovered or created.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Not very - he is, according to him, a naturally handsome sonofabitch, why would he need to worry about his style or be attached to a mirror forever fixing his hair?

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

It’s not so much a feeling of incompleteness because Heisenberg always feels empty and broken, but he definitely notices when you’re not nearby. It’s not like a piece of him is missing, but more like a recognition that something in his space is gone and he misses it and needs it back for him to feel more settled.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

He’s autistic. He got his accent from listening to/watching shows on the television in the 50s. Lady D helped raise him and it wasn’t until they had a falling out that they started to hate one another. He didn’t hate Mother Miranda until he was in his 20’s where it became apparent that they were only there because Miranda found some use for them after stumbling into her laboratory and finding her notes on all four of them. He’s also addicted to netflix and loves binge watching whatever he can, especially anything to do with creating/crafting/science. Can speak 3 languages fluently.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

He doesn’t like to be fussed over, at least in a way that is blatantly clear that that’s what you’re doing. He is independent to a fault, and refuses to take care of himself - but if you try to do anything to help him without his asking first and it feels like an attempt to mother him? He hates it, with a passion. The longer you know him, the more you’re able to get away with when he knows it's coming from a place of concern, but he can only handle so much because he breaks and his temper flares.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

Before escaping the village: He doesn’t sleep much and where he does sleep is wherever he passes out. The man lives off of caffeine, spite and cigars, and the amount of times you’ve found him passed out at one of his many desks is astounding. Best thing to do is cover him up and let him rest because at least he’s sleeping.

After escaping the village: He still doesn’t sleep much, only this time it's due to nightmares of being back in the village under Miranda’s control, or you getting hurt in his attempt to flee. He won’t sleep unless you’re asleep beside him and if that isn’t happening, he either doesn’t sleep at all or works himself to exhaustion so he passes out wherever he may be - just like in the village. He is, however, an octopus when he’s asleep. No matter what position the pair of you fall asleep in, you always end up in some weird tangle of limbs simply because he cannot be close enough to you.

#resident evil 8 #karl heisenberg x reader #karl heisenberg/reader #karl heisenberg #headcanons #resident evil village #x reader #toby writes #fanfiction #toby's writing #fanfic #angelicspaceprince

[herakosmos]

swapping clothes tiktok trend w/ their fem!s/o

{tanaka and tsukishima}

im feeling so guilty taking so long on requests im really sorry :((

but here’s another hc i thought of randomly :D i hope you enjoy!🥺

warning: mentions of drugs and guns!

tanaka

✰ 100% begs you to do it with him

✰ he saw the tiktok trend while just casually scrolling through his for you page and immediately wanted to do it

✰ probably only wants to do it because he wanted to see you in his clothes😭

“cmon baby it’ll be fun!!”

✰ the only reason you wanted to do it was to dress him up in your clothing and glam him up ajnsjalnsajl

✰ you guys went to a shopping mall just to get him a dress his idea

✰ obviously tanaka would pick the black mini dress

“oh my god i. look. fab.”

✰ he snapped his fingers with a bunch of sass while checking himself out in the mirror HJSJDFJ

“perfect lets go!”

“tanaka! take off the dress we need to buy it first”

✰ it was strapless too so the guy had to keep pulling it up unless he wanted to keep his nips exposed😭

✰ i know DAMN well this guy bought a wig just to go with his little outfit

✰ probably a short bob HAHAHA

✰ when coming back home he’ll let you do his makeup, but wanted to do the lipstick on his own

“tanaka, baby, I’m sorry but you look like a whole ass clown”

“a sexy clown though”

✰ for you he let you wear his sweatpants plus a random hoodie

✰ tanaka had his scent all over his clothes aka axe 

✰ (he smells like axe no one fight me on this)

✰ you guys probably did this one in the bathroom and propped the phone on a counter

✰ the guy is literally hyping himself up in the mirror before it’s his turn help😭😭

✰ YOU GUYS DONT HAVE A ROLEX SO ARTS N CRAFTS DID THE TRICK HAHA

✰ when doing your part you just pretended to be tanaka and started acting manly lmao

✰ tanaka appeared from the right side of the camera and the dress was so low you could see his nips

✰ arches his back so much SOMEONE PLS STOP HIM

✰ i feel like he’ll be the type to say the lyrics out loud cause he doesn’t know what lip-syncing is

“HE JUST WANNA FUCK WITH ME CAUSE IM THE ONE”

“HE GOT ALL THE DRUGS AND I GOT ALL THE GUNS”

✰ bites his lips way too much

✰ at the end he literally snatches his own wig and starts twirling it above his head while twerking HAHSJSJSJX

✰ 100% makes sure EVERYONE has seen it and tells them to like it

tsukishima

✰ good luck tryna persuade him into doing this with you cause he is obviously gonna shut you down the first time you ask😭

✰ you set up a plan to go and buy his favorite (strawberry shortcake) and then hope and pray he’ll take the bait

✰ but it’s worth the 9 sec tiktok vid you wanted to do with him🌚

✰ he’ll be on the couch eyes closed with his headphones on blasting his music

“tsuki please do this tiktok with mee”

“no”

“aw man….i was going to give you this lovely strawberry shortcake if you were going to do it with me…but”

✰ your eyes wandered back to his to find out one side of his airpods was popped out

✰ asking him to do this was honestly a struggle, but once you suddenly bribe him into giving him strawberry shortcake the boy is SOLD

✰ he wouldn’t really say he was gonna do it, but still ate his favorite dessert 

✰ you just assumed he was gonna do it with you and went to steal some clothes from his closet😭

✰ i just KNOW tsuki has that fresh minty smell to him

✰ definitely taking his shorts and his kurasuno jacket

✰ (who wouldn’t want to wear that i mean cmon)

✰ when in the middle of setting up the camera tsuki came walking in he was like what the fuck jsknadjksnf

“please don’t tell me i have to switch clothes with you”

“yes, yes you do saltshaker”

✰ a long sigh leaves his mouth 

“why did i not see this coming with this childish tiktok trend”

✰ this is the ONLY time you’ll catch him doing this kinda stuff..

✰ i introduce to you….TSUKI WITH A SKIRT🙈

✰ you were kinda surprised he actually wore it ajandjf

✰ he’s so irritated at this point and just wants to get it over, so if you were planning on doing more than one take you can kiss it goodbye <\33

✰ you thought the skirt wasn’t enough, so you decided to tie his shirt up to only cover his nips HAHAAHAH

✰ during the whole tiktok shoot you were just vibing tryna act like tsuki and he was not having it

“annddddd come out now!”

✰ omg the look on his face was so serious😭

✰ his arms were crossed and honestly you couldn’t tell if it’s because he’s annoyed or trying to cover his body…maybe both akhdsbasdh

✰ his brows twitched as he tried to not look at the camera at all times

✰ once the one take was done you were a giggling mess at how tsuki honestly looked so cute yet funny in the video

“babe, you look way better than me in that skirt”

“of course i do, baka”

✰ he poked your forehead with a smirk painted on his face

“now please get me another strawberry shortcake or else i’ll delete that idiotic video” 

✰ when i say he’ll do it, HE’LL DO IT

taglist: (i’ll add more in the future!🥺)

@deadontheinsidebut @kat-writes-haikyuu @lovetsuki @aexonian @ioveworm @nnber @lvcesemi

want to request hcs or a matchup? here are the rules!

#haikyuu!! #cute #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu tanaka #tanaka ryunosuke #tanaka headcanons #tanaka hcs #tanaka x reader #tanaka x you #tanaka x y/n #tsukishima kei #hq tsukishima #tsukishima headcanons #tsukishima hcs #tsukishima x reader #tsukishima x you #tsukishima x y/n #haikyuu tsukishima

[pogueszn]

a sprout master post

with the amount of asks i got and the things i’ve got going on in my personal life i don’t think i can answer them all before the season drops (which was i wanted to do) and these asks have been sitting in my inbox for too long already and i don’t just want to leave you all hanging so i thought i would compile a majority of the sprout asks here so you guys can read them, or add on to them or something! i’m gonna answer a few sprout asks and the random ones that are there later today some time, or tomorrow if i can’t find the time today! 

you guys going to a cameron party and there’s a photo booth and jj and teeny sprout are in line, and he’s like “okay when she says 3 you have to smile okay?” and sprout smiles so huge and it’s gummy to the point you see all of her dimples

going to a big city and your condo is has floor to ceiling windows and sprout crawls up to it and presses her slobbery face against it and jj is liek “enjoying the view princess?”

sprout bonding with nana heyward 🥺

baby sprouty sleeping in her bassinet and pope is over and she’s fussing and jj is like “see even your nerd talk bothers the baby”

Sprout laying on the ground and JJ is laying next to her and he’s like “I love youuuuu” and she does that cute newborn sleepy smile

going to the bookstore and everyone knows sprout and when you guys check out the cashiers like “your uncle popes phone number sprout?” and she’s like “yes peez”

ward holding sprouty while he’s talking business and she takes her binkie and shoves it in his mouth like “stop talking” and you and jj are like embarrassed

jj waking up to sprout poking him and he’s like “what baby?” and she whispers “i see my unca pope now” and jj looks at the time and it’s like 4 am

john b and sarah taking sprout and they pull her out of the car and she’s pissed at john b, and she had her binkie in her mouth and she bolts to see the heywards and john b is like “hey diaper butt watch the attitude”

jj telling the heywards about sprouts teething and he picks sprout up and is like “show them your teeth” and she’s like 😬 but with two teeth poking out and pink gums

baby sprouty in her sling on jj’s chest and she’s looking around and as soon as she spots pope she gummy grins so huge

baby brother and sprout laying in your room and you walk out to change snd find them passed out together

baby brother in his swing and sprouts looking at him, and jj is like “aw perfect instagram moment” and he’s taking a video of them and he’s like “sprout do you like your baby brother?” and she’s like “no coconut head cries too much”

Maybank Jr def sells edibles at school and he has to give Sprout first dibs or she’ll snitch him out

Baby Sprouty going out to The Wreck for the first time and Kies parents are like “Want a few minutes without the baby?” and they just want baby snuggles and she’s in her little car seat just sleeping

JJ having to take a plane for work conference and Sprout is shattered and she’s like “talk to dada peez” and you have to break her heart and say he can’t talk right now

sprout saying something like “gosh the kids on the cut have it easier” and it’s definitely easier if the times jj sits her down and has a starbucks talking to cause it definitely isn’t easy as it seems

jj is always kissing sproutys chubby cheeks from the moment she came out of the womb and was placed on your chest

the first morning with sprouty 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺☹️☹️☹️ 

HEARING SPROUTS HEARTBEAT FOR THE FIRST TIME. and the nurse is like “yup strong and healthy”

JJ holding sprout in his lap and she’s less than a month old, and he’s burping her while holding her cheeks and everyone’s in awe of her, Kie’s even videoing Sprout who’s milk drunk. And she spits up all over JJs leg

Sprouty having her little friend over and you can hear them whispering and you make out “hims cry all night. hims head big too” and her friends like “my sissy’s sleeps and can’t play wif her”

Mrs Heyward hogging up Sprout when she pops in the visit and Sprout is just vibing with her Nana while you and JJ are catching up on sleep

jj definitely mirrors the kids face when they’re crying and sprouts baby head thinks he’s actually crying so she fusses even more

baby sprout trying to crawl but she jusy looks like she’s wiggling in place and jj is like “aw my little worm”

Sprout and JJ having a boat day and Sprout climbs in JJs lap and she’s like “love yous more dan my fishies at papas” and JJs heart is a PUDDLE BECAUSE EVERYONE KNOWS SPROUTY LOVES HER FISHES AT PAPAS POND

JJ taking you out on one last vacation before your bubs born 🥺

when you’re pregnant and close to sproutys due date, you just clean from the time jj leaves for work to when he gets back and he’s like 🚨 no more cleaning ma’am you’ve reorganized my socks fives times already

Sprout and John B hanging out while Sarah’s out and he’s like “Want a cheeto?” and she stares at him and he’s like “Right sorry I forgot you don’t have teeth or how you only drink your moms boob milk”

When Sprout comes home from Urgent Care, you have her sleep in your bed because she still has a low fever and at first she’s clinging to you, and throughout the night she makes her way to JJ and they’re doing skin to skin cause she’s in her diaper and he’s shirtless

jj taking sprout to a daddy’s and i event at daycare and he noticed that a lot of the dads are like “sucks that my wife is having me babysit the kids on saturday so i’ll miss the game” and they’re more flabbergasted when they hear jj doesn’t use a 24/7 nanny like them

I feel like JJ already gives off intimidating and stern personality and when he has kids he feels like he has to lower it a few notches but sometimes he looses his patience and it definitely gets everyone’s attention

sprouty in her sling and you’re like “JJ can you take her? My boobs probably look weird with her pressed up against them” and he’s like “actually they look fantastic”

everyone coming to watch sprouty girls first swim lesson and she waddles out and she just started walking while holding someone’s hand and everyone’s like “oh such a big girl sprout.” and she’s like “fishie” and john b is like “no you’re the fish this time”

when ur telling the heywards that ur pregnant, heywards like “10 years together and it took you that long to knock her up?”

Sprout being a little over a year old and John B is waving a sparkler in front of her and she grabs at it, and everyone scolds John B

JJ DRESSING SPROUTY GIRL UP IN FOURTH OF JULY FITS THROUGHOUT THE DAY AND EVEN HER BINKIE MATCHES HER FITS

Waking JJ at ass crack of dawn and you’re like “Honey can you ask Heyward to make his french toast cause baby girls wanting them”

sprouty seeing jj on facetime and she’s like “oh hi dada” and he’s like “are you being good for your mom” and she’s like “no dada”

sprout going to heywards in a bad mood, and heyward is like “hugs for papa?” ans she’s like “no fank you papa. is in a bad mood right now”

Teen Sprout calling you guys at an ungodly hour and she’s like “I’m drunk and my ride ditched me. Please pick me up”

your baby shower for baby boy happening and sproutys like “awww for me???” and you’re like “no baby for your brother” and she’s so upset

Baby Boy and Sprout going to the Heywards for the night and JJ is like “Maybank #3?”

baby sprout sleeping in sarah’s arms and it’s after she’s first born and john b is like “nine months of growing a kid for her to sleep?” and he pokes her cheek “loser”

JJ getting giant headphones for Baby so she can watch the fireworks with you guys and he’s like “And look Dada even got Papa a pair cause we don’t his old man ears to get any worse”

:ooo did you ever hc how you tell jj you’re pregnant with sprout??

sprouty in the buggy and she’s babbling and jj is like “yeah baby?” and she does the babbling scream and he’s like “ma’am you’re in the store”

it being the first time you guys take sprout out, and you fed her and jjs burping her but she keeps dozing off cause it’s past her bedtime and he’s like “she’s definitely going to give us hell tonight for making her stay up”

baby sprouty looking at the fairy lights in the cameron backyard and john b is like “jesus j, she makes it seem like you never take her out of that castle she calls home” and sarah’s like “john b she’s three months old let the girl live”

jj buying little matching sunglasses for sprout and you look at the receipt and you’re like “$90 for glasses that she won’t even need?”

Sprout sitting up on your bed and JJ walks in and he’s like “Hi Mamas!” and she babbles back

Realizing the reason Sprouty sneezes on JJ or sometimes John B and Rafe is because their colognes are too strong for her baby nose

baby sprout in her bath tub in your bathroom and jj is like “how come babies get all the cool shit”

sprouts first fourth of july.

JJ getting fake chicken nuggets as his way of going vegan or something and he gives it to Sprout and she just devors them all.

baby sprouts first little stroller around the neighborhood 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

Sprout mirroring everyone’s facial expressions

wait so i read concepts about how miss lana took jj in a lot, and how he’s so protective over her. and i was like him having miss lana watch sprouty as her babysitter cause he knows how motherly she’s is

JJ getting Sprout from the babysitter and she’s so tiny like one of the first times he picks her up, and he’s like “oh hi bubby did you have a nice time”

Sprout being into pictures for some reason, but it’s when she’s starting to recognize people. So every time she leaves her nursery you or jj stop by your wedding pictures in the hallway and ask “Where is…” for the next five minutes

Sprout waking up JJ like “My papas birfday dada?”

sprouts project in class is about love and you see her put “unca pope loves me the most” in her teachers writing cause they just wrote down what she says

Sarah and John B having a baby son and Sproutys meeting him, and she’s like “Awww hims wook wike my Unca Pope”

As soon as Baby Boy is out of your room and sleeping in his nursery, you can bet all your money sprout is back in between you and jj

sprout def snitches john b out when he gets on her nerves

sprout in her floaty and she’s having a blast and john b swims by her and she grips his hair and it’s the strong baby grip no one can seem to undo and she’s laughing at everyone telling her to stop

JJ making breakfast and he’s like “decaf for the mama, organic mango orange juice for the little mama, and boobs on the rocks for the little man in the sling”

maybank jr seeing you standing by the entry way of the house when jj picks him up from jail, and he’s so scared. and you’re like “had sprout stay with a friend tonight, you young man in your room until your father and i discuss what we’re gonna say to you”

Sprouts playroom is HUGE especially for a two foot baby. And somehow she manages to only play with the box her dad left while he spent all Saturday putting together her play kitchen

The one time JJ wakes up when Sprouts screaming she wants you

sprout potty training and she’s so excited to be a “big girl”

okay. i feel like jj would def have the first baby in the group or just never have kids

You guys taking a family trip to Nashville for the week and Sprout is THRIVING, baby is just vibing to the live music performances while y’all are eating at restaurants

heyward having sprout over and she facetimes you and you hear her grumble “pick me up unca b is here. eatin my mac in cheese”

JJ making barbecued ribs and Sprouts just devouring them and she’s just a mess and when JJ takes her out of her high chair he’s like “Aw my little piggy loved Dada’s cooking?” and Kie is like “You’re calling her a pig when you fed her pig?”

you guys leaving sprouty with john b and when you come to pick her up she’s strapped on his chest and he’s like “we’re bonding”

SPROUT MODELING WOULD BE AMAZINGGGG, like it’s sarah who talks you into it, and she’s only a few months old and it’s for a boutique in town and she’s so smiley and cooing the whole time

sprout not falling asleep when you guys are out of the house, and jj is like “you can sleep bubba” as he’s rubbing her back and she’s so drowsy she keeps dropping her pacifier

Picking Sprout up from daycare and you guys are like “How was your first day baby?” and she’s like “See my Unca Pope now?”

Baby Brother and you coming to Sprouts class for a class party and she’s like “Dis is my brudder hims kinda mean”

jj going the mainland for work and he comes back with hella shopping bags and it’s custom made designer for sprout because everything’s cuter in baby form

usually baby brother is the one who teases sprout and he’s in timeout but one time he does something and she smacks him back, and you have to separate them in timeout and as jj is talking to sprout you hear “i don’t like him right now dada. hims like unca jombee.”

John B seeing Sprout before his wedding, and he’s like “Listen stinky, today is about me and Aunt Sarah, so don’t do something that everyone awes over, got it?” and Sprout totally steals the show when she’s walking down the isle

jj getting him and sprout matching outfits and she’s running around the property in a hat that’s a little too big for her and she runs straight into ward

baby boy doing something that resulted in a timeout and he’s screeching so loud, and he’s calling for you to get him out and jj gets like a flashback of his childhood

sproutys first storm and she’s just looking out your bedroom window and jj sneezes or something and she jumps and he’s like “wtf”

Baby sleeping in the bassinet when she’s just born and JJ is like “She totally sleeps like me” and you’re like “You snore louder than the storm”

catching sprout crawling out of her crib and jjs like “what are you doing missy?” and she’s like “unca pope”

john b and jj going to sproutys field trip to the police station cause your morning sickness with baby boy is terrible and a mom walks up and is like “you guys make such a lovely couple!”

jj walking in on you talking to your bump, and you’re like “i enjoy cooking a lot, my mom taught me all of my best recipes” and he’s like 🥺

The daycare having an open house for Sprouts class, and you see one of her papers the question is “a few of my favorite things” and her answers are “uncle pope, nana and papa, my daddy and mommy, and strawberries. and seeing the fishies at my papas house”

you and jj doing something special for sprout before baby brothers born

jj looking after baby sprout and he needs to pee but everytime he puts her down she squawks and screams really loud so he’s just shuffling around the house holding her and rocking her hoping you’ll be home soon

Sprout definitely humbles the whole family, and keeps everyone in their place

#sprout #asks #i really wish that i could answer all of these #but i genuinely can't #:( :( #i appreciate all of you who take the time to send me asks SOO MUCH #but there's just too much going on right now for me to answer these in the way they deserve to be answered. #i hope you can understand

[hebescus]

remember this ship ask? yeah, i wanna do them all with lawlight bcs they control my brain. but it's a happy no death note au bcs it's me. oh and this shit is long plus it's 3 am rn so my words are very messy. but enjoy.

(i skip some numbers that i answered and the ones that i can't think of btw)

pre relationship :

How did they first meet?

L's investigation hq. he was a suspect of L, still, but this time he told soichiro to bring this 18 yo boy to the hq to test him, asking light to work with all of them. he ends up not guilty ofc, but L still wants to keep him…around.

What was their first impression of each other?

ah, the good old 'what the fuck dude???' from light and the 'oooh he got a big brain' from L. it's hard to get out of canon in this one.

Who felt romantic feelings first?

L. But it's more like thoughts, rather than feelings. It's just these random thoughts that pop out in his head like 'i don't mind kissing this guy, if he asks' but not like 'i want to kiss him' yknow what i mean? idk this is just something i experience a lot lmao. it develops to feelings once light falls for him and L can see that. So in terms of ideas, it's L, but in terms of feelings, it's Light.

Did either of them try to resist their feelings?

Oh our favorite light denial yagami. Of course he's cursing himself for having feelings like this but once L calls it out he's over. 

If you had told one of them that the other would be their soulmate, what would they think?

Light would laugh it off, and be like "i don't like him that way you know". L would shrugs be like "well yes that's possible, i don't think i mind". 

What would their lives be like if they had never met?

boring, lonely, empty, you name it

(more under the cut)

general :

Who initiated the relationship, and how did it go?

hmm, they both initiated the relationship? ykwim? They both notices they had feelings for each other and just...go from there. they never have like a relationship talk, they just go with the flow until at some point they starts to get comfortable to refer the other as partners. They basically can read each other's mind, after all.

Did they have an official first date? If so, what was it like?

Yes, sort of. A tennis game! And a coffee sesh after, just like canon. They plan this to be just "let's just relax, this case has been really exhausting, take a one day break, L" but when Light got home, sayu asked "how's the date going?!" He immediately said "it's not a date, you watch too many dramas it's rotting your brain" And sachiko gave him a smile while shaking her head at this statement and when he's back to his room he immediately calls L and was like "hey does that count as a date?" and L answers with "depends, do you want it to be?" with a smirk that light can hear.

What was their first kiss like?

it was late at night, light was helping L with the case when everybody went home. they were sharing their view about this certain criminal when light notices L staring at his lips, first he ignored it but it happens again and again to a point where their face just got real close and then...kiss, somehow. idk lmao.

Were they each other’s first anything (kiss, relationship, etc.)?

First person who can understand each other and are equals, the only ones who can tear the other's wall down, and just practically soulmates in any form that even their sun & moon signs mirroring each other's? YES. 

What’s their height difference? Age difference?

i hc L as just a little bit taller than light, but it's not like you can see it through the hunch anyway. ofc we all know the 6 years and 4 months age gap

What’s their relationship with each other’s families?

Sayu likes L, Sachiko is kinda surprise Light doesn't date a typical pretty person, but it only makes her heart fonder. L doesn't mind them, he thinks they're nice, light grew up in a good place. Soichiro? Well, he might me a bit reluctant but he loosen up slowly, his son is happier than he ever was, after all.

Who takes the lead in social situations?

Light, obviously. Because he's a charmer and if L takes control, the person they speak to would run immediately the first 2 minutes.

Who whispers inappropriate things in the other’s ear?

it is a universal knowledge that L does this. like, come on, count the fics, you can't, there's just so many. he loves to break that perfect wall and make light feel 🥴😳. it's entertaining. But he knows when to stop. too much of that will be embarrassing in light's part, and he respects his boy's dignity.

love :

Who said “I love you” first?

Light!! The thing is it was said over the phone. He gets more and more comfortable talking with L through calls, since every now and then L travel frok countries to countries. One time he just like "yeah, safe flight. love you, bye" he expected L to say goodnight to him as a response as usual but L was silent and he realised what he just said and realised that he fucking mean it. L seems to still be able to read his mind even thousands miles away so he replies with "i love you too, goodnight". they never missed seeing each other more than that night.

What are their primary love languages?

we had a discussion for this! but as we see in canon, they're both very acts of service with a little hint of physical touch here and there. quality time is also important. words and gift aren't really needed for them.

Who uses cheesy pick-up lines?

L. Only to annoy light. It's terrible that he almost cringed to himself, but it does bring a good laugh for light.

How often do they cuddle/engage in PDA?

PDA is a not their preference, they just love being in private more. They might hold hands sometimes, butmost times they won't. Altho they always stand or sit reaaaaally glued to each other even though there are so many space. 

Who initiates kisses?

both. they want it, they got it. but light gives light kisses (ha) more, not necessarily on the lips, usually when L was really busy working, keeping his feet on the ground.

Who’s the big and little spoon?

They don't spoon a lot, they prefer not touching at all or cufdling face to face, but when they do, Light is the little spoon because being a big spoon makes his sleeping position kinda uncomfy, he feels awkward with his legs, it's just not. thankfully L thinks cuddling light this way is very calming.

What are their favorite things to do together?

Tennis and solving cases, duh. Or sometimes they play video games fighting each other. Anything competitive and/or challenging that make their brain grow 10 times bigger. But sometimes, a comfortingly peaceful and quiet dinner with hushed words thrown here and there about random things feels like the best thing ever.

Who’s more protective?

L. For identity reasons, ofc.

Do they prefer verbal or physical affection?

Physical. They can read each other's mind, they knew it by gesture, touches, and glances. 

What are some songs that apply to their relationship, in-universe or otherwise?

IT'S MY TIME TO SHINE. venus by sleeping at last fits them so well, that song is in the background of multiple cozy couch smooches sessions or even when they're slow dancing (please listen to this tho song it's so good). also i think they would like persephone by the tragic thrills too, L would be like "this song reminds me of you" and Light answers with "i'm persephone?" "Yeah" "i'm a fucking badass then" "yes you are". oh and first day of my life? lover of mine? pink in the night? sweet creature? the lakes? oh god i have too much answers

What kind of nicknames do they call each other?

they don't do nicknames, really. although, L sometimes called light with some snarky tony stark styled nicknames when he feels particularly playful but annoyed at the same time.

Who remembers the little things?

They both do. Big brained assholes they are.

domestic life :

If they get married, who proposes?

It's not really a proposal, they didn't  even remember who said it first. But one sleepy night after a hard case, someone said "hey you wanna get married" and the other was like "sure, why not" "really?" "yeah, i think i'm ready, you?" "me too" "great" and then they go to sleep. at breakfast the next morning L called watari from across the room and said "wammy i need you to prepare [enter marriage stuff here], and light, you must call your family after this". poor old watari chokes on his tea.

What’s the wedding like? Who attends?

The wedding is in a secluded little place near the wammy's house, L used to go there a lot as a kid. With just light's parents, sayu, and watari. Well, not until Light caught Mello, Matt, Near, and Linda peeping from the bushes

Do they have any pets?

A chunky cat the wammy's kids feed daily but never try to keep them in, because no animals are allowed inside the orphanage. L saw it and was like "light let's bring this bitch home" she is, indeed a little bitch, but light and L loves her dearly. her fur has light brown and black colors, like both of their hairs, so she becomes their daughter, L gave him a weird ass name but i can't think about it rn.

Who kills the bugs in the house?

Light because he's the one who's actually bothers to. They ofc annoyed L but he cpuldnt care less to actually get rid of them.

Who’s more likely to convince the other to come back to sleep in the morning?

L. He rarely sleeps and once he did, he wakes up very fucking late and will pull light back to the bed if he's woken up by the empty space beside him.

Who’s the better cook?

Light. L is a spoiled brat. But Light can't bale for shit, that's Watari's job. Light grow up learning and helping his mom making meals for the family. He's not the best, but it's good enough to make L craves them in between his sweets.

Who likes to dance?

None of them. But they would slow dance on rare, sentimental occasions. And it's like so fucking romantic bcs all the lights are off except for a candle or a table lamp or a cabinet lamp whatever that has yellow-y dim light. And they don't speak, they just casually move against each other, but heart ready to combust like i do when i the mental image came into my head.

#lawlight #death note #very fucking self indulgent whoa #brainrot hours #anyway i love them so much #scenarios and shits