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punkpandapatrixk · 1 month

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💝Valentine & White Day Love Transmission ♦︎ Timeless Pick A Card

In Japan and Korea, Valentine's is when femmes give gifts to hommes; and exactly a month after that, on March 14th, the hommes return that Love with white (preferably) gifts that are expected to be at least three times the value/price of whatever gifts they’d received from the femmes😏

Traditionally it’s kinda like that. Hmmm… isn’t it obvious the celebration has never had quite any meaning in a country such as Japan and that the festivity is nothing more than a heavily-commercialised youth-tradition focused on the pursuit of shallow material desires?🤮

But…I guess it’s OK; because it’s cute anyway🥴

Within the context of this reading, the Valentine and White Day Love Transmission imparts the perfect synchrony of the Love shared by the Divines Feminine and Masculine. It is when affection is given and returned in Love and everything becomes beautiful and worth living for~💝

SONG: Space Orphans by Aoba Ichiko

MOVIE: Peter Pan (2003)

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Pile 1 – Don’t give up just yet; I’m on my way!

8 of Cups Rx, 4 of Pentacles Rx, Knight of Cups Rx

Darling, are you on the precipice of giving up on me?! Do NOT settle for someone—ANYONE—who’s NOT me! OMG, babe! I’m coming! Divine Timing is just being a bitch but I’m on my way to you!🦎Well, the thing is…we both have this annoying thing called a spiritual transformation… Until that’s happened—and nearly completely—we can’t be together just yet. But wait, I promise you it’s all worth it in the end🎁

I mean, why wouldn’t you wait for someone like me? I’m romantic; kind and sweet; I AM RICH; and I will always be there to protect you—I intend to always be your confidant and best friend🥰I will never betray you in any way. I’m your best friend who will skip right next to you on our way to beat up a bitch; figuratively, babe—I’m not really the type of person who gets violent LOL

What I do mean is, I want to give you a Life in which you cease to worry about small things. I want it to be that when you’re with me you no longer worry about a lack of means, a lack of warmth, or a lack of security. You’re somebody who deserves to be loved and to be very happy; and I want to give it all to you. And that’s why it’s important for me to become the best version of myself first😝

I’ve got to admit I’ve not always been the nicest, goodest person to have walked on Earth. I’m changing my ways, you know. I’m growing up; I’m developing; I’ve now been awakened and I’m still working on me, so that when I finally meet you, I will not disappoint you. Because I will never want to be a reason you stopped believing in the good of people😤I intend to be the complete opposite of that.

Fall in love with me, my dear. Fall in love with Life again when you meet me. Life is an adventure and finding me has got to be the greatest story ever told. I’ll tell you all of my crazyass stories when we meet. And I’m longing to hear you talk of your losses and triumphs. We’ll both gaze at the stars and wonder how they aligned to have us meet in this lifetime. I will be so grateful.

You know, generally speaking, I’m somewhat of an extrovert and I socialise well and I think quite positively about people. Maybe you will worry that I’m a playa of sort but right now, let me promise you this one thing: I’M NOT! I’m friendly, my love, but it doesn’t mean I wanna fuck somebody who’s not you. I dunno, I kinda have the handsome face of a smooth operator but on the inside, I’m really NOT!😩I’m really quite romantic and I believe in true love.

And honestly, at this point in my Life, I know you’re out there being all destined for me. You’re all I want. I’m on my way. So don’t you settle for any low-quality slob. Get ready, baby~ KNOCK KNOCK~🪄🚪

A LIFE WITH YOU, MY LOVE🔻❤️

Priestesses of Purity & Divination

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Pile 2 – Everybody finds Love in the end; you included~

Ace of Cups Rx, 7 of Cups Rx, 4 of Wands

My Dear, I know Life has not treated you too kindly and your heart’s been broken too many times. It’s been pretty much like that for me, too! I’ve lived a very lonesome existence, wondering where my people are. Wondering if I’ll ever find Love in this lifetime. I know now that those whose hearts are tender find it harder to truly connect with someone. We’re not BROKEN! No, we’re not! The ‘problem’ with us is that we crave soul-deep connections~ And damn, that’s rare, indeed🍀

You know what I’m doing right now? I’m single as a pringle. I’m not opening my heart to anybody. My colleagues all think I’m crazy, offbeat, and even difficult, just because I ain’t settling. Tch, I’m the only one noticing all of their subpar relationships, and some of them are not even the slightest bit happy with the partnership they’ve got. I don’t want that. For fuck’s sake I DON’T want that, ever! I’ve always had this strange, inexplicable feeling, that people are supposed to marry whom they love.

I want LOVE. I crave that shit so bad I dunno what I’m gonna do with myself🙈

One thing I know for sure though: if I’m not with you, you who are just like me, everything in the world is pointless. There is only calm in my world when I’m thinking of you. I don’t even know who you are; but I get optimistic every time I indulge in thoughts of finding you. I… fantasise a lot…?🌈Do you ever think about me? Does your heart bloom with a peculiar kind of softness when you touch upon my consciousness?💫

I am out here in this Star System. Dream of me. Want me more. And believe that we can manifest each other through resonance. We are so much closer than you fear us to be, my Dear. You have to believe in me. The Stars have begun to align and Earth’s temperature is nearing just right🍵Our time is here :D When dreams become Reality and all that’s ever been sad turn to glory, what would you do?

I know what you’re gonna do: you’re going to be married to me😝We’re going to start a new chapter of our lives together and be very happy and abundant. I’m gonna help you prove everybody who’s ever hurt you, gaslit you into believing that you’re hard to love very, very wrong😒All of that gas, when I light the match, is gonna burn their entire house down!🔥

OK, I’m a bit crazy, but anyway—

You do know that good people always find Love in the end, right? That’s just how it always is in fairy tales. You know fairy tales are more real than any of Hollywood’s propaganda, right?🐵Right??🙊I love you. I have loved you for what feels like an eternity. Return to me now. Come home to me, my Love. I am You; you are Me. We’re going to turn everything back to balance; we’re gonna create Heaven on Earth; a harmonious Life of you and me; so have faith in us~🎎

A LIFE WITH YOU, MY LOVE🔻💙

Priestesses of Integrity & Solitude

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Pile 3 – You are someone’s Dream Come True; you ever thought about that??

9 of Cups, 2 of Cups, King of Cups

You, are someone’s Wish Fulfilment; you ever thought about that? No, of course not; you only thought about yourself and how lacking you are as a person blablabla😡Don’t you know there’s a little someone walking this Earth who’d be SO glad to have you in their Life? Yup, that someone is ME😏You are a treasure of a gal/boy and if you’ve been surrounded by fools who can’t see that, it’s because you’re meant to travel the world and meet me~!

Have a change of scenery; you aren’t meant to thrive and live and die on the land you were born. When you cross borders and seas and realms, you’ll meet people of other cultures and points of view who are going to be more appreciative of the good you’ve been mocked(?) for🥰I promise you, babe~ You are where you are (or were) only because it was part of your Soul’s contract to learn about contrasts.

When all’s said and done, you’re going to be THE most interesting person anybody could listen to!🍿I, for one, could listen to you aaalll week long if you ever want to HAHAHA

My heart right now is like half-full, babe; I’m still waiting for you to appear in my Life. You probably won’t like hearing this because you’re independent, and you’re strong, and rebellious, but… I want you to be mine!🌹I don’t mean that I wish to suffocate you, no, it’s not like that at all… What I mean is, I wish to be the only one who could make you happy, for that would make me feel special🌞

I know I’m silly, I’m sorry~🥰I want to bring stability and certainty into your Life; that much I can say with clarity, for surely, you and I, we’re going to be pouring into each other’s Cups. We’re gonna be the kind of couple who can read each other’s minds and burst out laughing when we see something only we find funny without even exchanging words😂All of that, because of shared empathy~

Honestly, I couldn't care less for all the treasures in the world; I only want you around. Maybe that makes me a romanticist? Hm, that word doesn’t quite encompass all the feelings I have for you. All the things I wish to share with you. All that I’d do for you. What I know is that this is no mere romance; I LOVE you, you know? It goes so much deeper than that🌊

I’m mature, nurturing and caring. Find me, my Love. I’ll nurse you back to health—spiritually and everythingally; I’ll be the reason your faith in Humanity is restored. Actually, it doesn’t even matter; I just want you to trust in me, see yourself through my eyes, see how wonderful of a being you are. I want you to trust in yourself. You’re so fucking special. You’re MY very special kind of Wish Fulfilment☃️

A LIFE WITH YOU, MY LOVE🔻💗

Priestesses of Love & Healing

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☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 8 months

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AITA for threatening to get my best friend sectioned?

This actually happened 2 years ago, but last night he made a joke about it that kind of seemed like he might still be mad at me about it. So. Anyway, ages and all are written as they were at the time.

For context, my (18m) mom took guardianship of my friend (17m), called “J”, after his grandfather passed, a few months before this happened.

Not going into specifics, but J has struggled with OCD and an ED for years, and I suspect when he’s an adult he’ll probably get diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder at some point.

(Update from the Present: no dice… yet.)

A close family friend of his passed away and it caused his mental issues (particularly the ED) to get a lot worse really quickly.

Even thought my mom was technically his guardian, she kind of relied on me to keep tabs on him because he’s usually pretty honest with me compared to other people. Like, if he’s not doing well, I have the best chance of finding that out.

So. His family friend dies, he gets worse, I report all of this back to my mom, who starts trying to get some sort of more intensive treatment lined up for him (difficult and time consuming because of where we lived at the time).

My mom tells me not to tell J, because he “talks a big game” about not wanting treatment or whatever and she firmly believes it’ll be easier if he doesn’t have time to stress himself out about it before it happens. Okay. So I don’t tell J.

Somehow, he finds out anyway, and also finds out that I knew and had chosen not to tell him, but doesn’t tell me that he knows. (Convoluted, I know, sorry.)

I pick J up from an after school thing one night, we end up talking about pretty heavy shit in the car for a /long/ time, and after the conversation died, he put a hand on my shoulder, leaned over, and kissed me. And like not a short kiss either. It was like a 3 to 4 second kiss.

Context again, I realized I was gay and that I liked J in a not particularly friend-like way when I was 13. I never told him and never planned on telling him. I told him a lot of things but I intended on growing old and dying with that one kept nice and secret. Even if he was some form of not-straight, which I was 99.99% sure he wasn’t, I didn’t think it was worth jeopardizing my closest friendship with romantic and/or sexual feelings that could at best confuse him or make him uncomfortable or at worst outright disgust him.

Anyway. We don’t talk about it, I end up going to stay for a few days with a guy (20m but not really relevant) I’d been sort of seeing/sleeping with for a couple months because I literally couldn’t be in the same house as J or I would probably implode.

Fast forward a week, I’m picking J up from a hospital 2 towns over because he ran away (? unclear really, haven’t discussed the particulars w him and I wasn’t staying at home at the time) and ended up having to go to the ER.

In the car (best time to talk to someone because they can’t run away), he apologizes for kissing me. I’m thrown off by that, because he hadn’t said anything up to this point and it honestly wasn’t even in the top 5 things I was thinking about.

I asked him why he did it and he just sighed and explained in this tone of voice that, I don’t know how to explain it, but had just the right lack of empathy or affect that I knew he was being 110% honest.

Condensed version: he found out I was reporting everything he told me to my mom (still don’t know how). He was pissed. He was aware he needed more intensive treatment, and he knew my mom was aware. He did not want treatment. He knew I had liked him for years. He knew that I was relatively fragile about it. He knew that if he did something (like kiss me for example) there was a good chance it would break my brain and I would freak out.

He essentially kissed me to decommission me for a few days so he could formulate a plan to run away.

FINALLY we have arrived at the AITA part.

After hearing all this, I tried very hard to come up with something rational to say, but ended up saying (essentially), “You’re fucking insane, and I’m telling my mother you need to be committed.”

I know I wasn’t wrong to be angry. But I also know from past knowledge and experiences that he had a deep fear of being deemed “insane” or unfixable or whatever, and also that he was really afraid of treatment in general.

Idk. I go back and forth on whether or not I was out of line, or needlessly escalating the situation, by threatening him. It was a much bigger threat in his mind than it was in mine, and so even though I know I said it as a reaction to a fucked up situation, there’s still the idea that I blew it completely out of proportion and weaponized his own mental issues against him.

So AITA for threatening my best friend by telling him I was going to get him committed to a long term psychiatric hospital?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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butchsophiewalten · 1 month

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03/16/24 Twitter Space Recap

There was a (pretty long!) twitter space yesterday, feat. Martin & Eva, with a later arrival of Crystal, and a (relatively brief) appearance from Coral. Kyle was going to join, but was experiencing technical some problems, so ended up sitting this one out.

-Martin starts the space proper by asking Eva to post some "Jack Walten Photoshoot" images he made back in May of 2022. Here they are:

-Someone asks if Martin could possibly release unfiltered versions of the Walten Files episodes, and Martin said that at one point, back in 2020, he sent HD versions of episodes 1 & 2 to Eva, but later deleted them, thinking 'why would I bother keeping this around, it's all on my computer anyway,' and then his computer died, and they were lost. He says he thinks he has an HD version of TWF3, but that for TWF4, the VHS filter was applied to the scenes individually before the episode was edited together, so there is no 'HD cut' of the entire episode.

-Martin reads a question, "Is it possible you could describe what happened in the Welcome to Bon's Burgers trailer? I swear I saw it back in 2020 after Sagan Hawkes released his his video." and answers, "Uh, the Welcome to Bon's Burgers trailer was basically like, uh, a very low-quality, movie-style trailer with like, royalty free stock trailer music that was like, really action-packed. And it was like, 'We can stop him, Sophie! Welcome to Bon's Burgers!', and it was so cool. I'm not making this up, this is literally what the trailer was like."

-Martin and Eva joke back and forth about Sophie doing really cheesy action movie stuff in the WtBB trailer, like saying 'fuck you!' to Bon, and throwing a grenade at him. Eva than starts explaining some context for those jokes, saying, "Back in 2021, we like, desperately tried to, like, make Sophie this, like, badass epic horror protagonist, and it- it's just really funny, because that's just not who she is, at all. She's just some loser!"

Martin laughs, saying, "We were talking- we were like, she would not be like this, she would not be like this at all, she would be so awkward."

Eva responds, "She's literally just some awkward, like, mentally unwell loser. She wouldn't be this, like, badass epic hero."

Martin responds, "I think it was- in my opinion, that stemmed pretty much from like, Walter White, because we were on like, our peak Breaking Bad phase. And it was like, Walter White originally was so awkward, and loser, and then he becomes 'badass' and 'cool', and we wanted to, like, replicate that.

Eva laughs, saying, "...Now she's literally just some loser- loser girl. And she's like, way cooler now," to which Martin says, "I love Sophie, she's one of my favorite characters."

-Martin reads a question, incredulously, "'Out of the entire cast, who would like yaoi the most?' Nobody! Nobody would like yaoi the most... Well, maybe Brian."

-Somebody asks something about Showstoppers Inc, and Martin says that the series is currently on hold, so he can finish TWF5.

-Someone asks what Martin's favorite non-canon episode is, and he says it's definitely The Mysterious House. He says out of every episode of The Walten Files, The Mysterious House and TWF6 are probably tied for his favorite. He talks a bit more about it, saying, "I know it's not the best- Maybe it hasn't aged perfectly, but just- it just has that vibe. It just has a really cool vibe, that I really dig."

Eva responds saying, "It's such a fun episode. I like how it just all goes to shit.", to which Martin asks, "Wait, are you talking about Six, or The Mysterious House?" and Eva replies, "Well, both. They both go to shit."

Martin says "Yeah. Technically, Six- we've talked about this in private, but Episode 6 is very inspired in The Mysterious House. Like, I wanted to have that feeling The Mysterious House had, because I really love that."

-Eva reads a question asking what Edd & Molly's relationship was like, and she says she likes to think of them as siblings that just fight all the time. Martin agrees, saying he thinks it happens a lot that Molly is really annoying, and Edd gets angry with her very easily.

-Felix's new VA, Connor, sends some audio to Martin and tells him to share it with the space. Transcribed, it went as follows:

"Uh, hey, Jack, it's Felix. You probably won't be able to answer your answering machine, it said it was full, but it's still letting me leave a message. I'm not entirely sure- I already called the police, uh, nothing's wrong, uh. Well- there is something wrong, I- I can't take your kids home. I'm drunk. Uh, and- you've gotta be pissed out of your mind right now, that's- that's fine. Uh, I'm sorry. And if there's a way- way I can make it up to you- I know, that, like, why the hell would you trust me, after I fucked up the first time, but, I tried to take Edd and Molly home, bad idea. I swerved a bit- we didn't- nothing crashed, nothing happened, I just- I lost my balance. The kids seem okay, I hope they are. They didn't seem to notice, but, in that instance, I just- I couldn't do it. I can't. So, uh, if you can, just- I'm near Saint Joanne's right now, y'know, the forest near section 95, but. Uh- hang on, hang on, kids, give me a minute. They're trying to get my attention. We pulled over on the side- Luckily there was a payphone- there was like a gas station maybe a walk over from the highway. Ope, and they're coming out, they want to say hi to you. Well, I'm gonna hang up now, 'cause I don't have the- Hang on! I'm just gonna hang up. Uh, I am so sorry. I- I really am. And again, if there's anything I can do, if there's a future favor you need, I will- not fuck it up. I'd be fucking foolish to. I'm just so embarrassed, I'm sorry."

Martin was surprised that the audio was so genuine and sad, since he hadn't listened to it before playing it on the space, and thought it was going to be kind of joke.

-Eva reads a question, "'Which character would be into some real good yuri?' Jenny."

-Martin talks about "Raw Bunny", a character which originates from The Walten Archives. He says there were originally going to be two dolls, "Raw Bunny" and "Raw Tammy", and that Edd was going to possess Rocket, and Molly was going to possess Tammy. He has no explanation for why they were called "Raw".

-Martin asks Eva if there's any autistic characters in The Walten Files, and she answers, "Uh, Sophie, I guess, Maybe?"

-Eva reads a question, "'Would Sophie read yuri and yaoi?' I don't think she knows what those are." to which Martin says, "Do you think Sophie would respond, like, 'I've never listened to that band'?"

-Someone asks for character birthdays, and Martin tries to joke that Jack and Rose's birthdays are both on February 31st, but misspeaks and says "21st", which later lead to this very funny twitter interaction:

-Eva reads a question, "What did Sophie do in college?", which leads Coral (who has joined the space by now) to say they don't think Sophie ever went to college. Martin says, "She did. She did go into college, but she got kicked out, because she shaved one of her colleagues' head bald... Like, Sophie really fucking hated this one girl in college, so one day, at night, she goes to her bedroom and starts shaving her head." The original question never gets answered.

-Martin keeps talking about Sophie, saying, "I can't remember if it was in school or college, but I had it written down that she broke someone's arm one time, because the person was bullying her." Then a couple minutes later, goes, "Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I remember! Yes, it was in school. I had it written down, because I remember, uh, this was after- of course, I can't get too much into it, because we do cover it in the series, but it was after the crash that someone was bullying her, and since she wasn't in a really good headspace right now, she broke a kid's arm. And that's how she got kicked out of school. I don't think she ever, like, returned to school after that."

Coral responds, "She was forever just wandering," and Martin says, "That is very Sophie Walten. Sophie Walten is always just wandering."

-Eva asks, "Which Walten Files character would've had an emo phase?" and Martin says, "If we were talking like, a year or two ago, I would've said Sophie, but now I think- uh, probably... y'know what? Ignoring, like, the time period and everything, if a character were around to have an emo phase, I think it would be Rosemary, since Rosemary's, like, the most artistic. She would just be like an emo for like, a year or two, and then she would be like, the most jolly person ever."

-Coral jokes that it'd be really funny if Charles had an emo phase, and Eva says she thinks it's funny to imagine Jenny going through an emo phase, because she's such a colorful and friendly person. Crystal says "I feel like [Jenny's] the kind of person that will, like, fully commit to, like, a fashion aesthetic, like 110%." to which Martin responds, "Actually, yeah, definitely."

-Eva says, "I like to think Jenny is like, really good at fashion and shit, meanwhile Sophie just dresses like absolute shit." Coral says, "I don't think Sophie knows how to dress," to which Martin responds, "No, I think she doesn't, but I don't- I don't think she has, like, bad- I wouldn't say 'bad style', because I definitely don't think she has any style. But I don't think she wears bad combinations, y'know? She has like, 5%-2% style."

-Martin says, about Sophie, "Her brain is one ketchup tall."

-Martin asks everyone to say something they think Sophie would actually be really talented at. Eva jokes that she'd be good at "Eating spaghetti.", but Crystal says "I feel like she would, like, be a surprise good cook," and Martin says, "Yeah. I feel like, since she worked at the meat store, so I think she would know how to work with all that." Crystal jokes that someone would think her cooking is really good and ask her for a recipe, and she just completely mentally blanks.

-Eva reads a question, "Would Ashley and Sophie be friends?" and Martin says, "I think Sophie would hate Ashley. I think, Sophie- I think she would stand Ashley, but I think Sophie wouldn't be able to stand Ashley like, actually going blindly into a fucking- I think Sophie would be, like, really annoyed at Ashley's obliviousness, to me. I'm not saying Ashley is stupid, I don't think Ashley is dumb in any way, but I think Sophie wouldn't be able to relate to Ashley's, like, motivations and shit."

-They start joking about Sophie getting high? Martin says that she could never be allowed to get high, because she'd freak the fuck out and have the worst trip of her life. Martin says, "I think if Sophie got high, imagine she's, like, looking horrified at the door frame, and she's grabbing Jenny's hand, and she's like 'Jenny, Ronald Reagan's here. He arrived. He's taking me away, Jenny.''

Martin keeps going, "Imagine- imagine Sophie holds Jenny's hand, and she's like, 'Dude. Jenny- I cracked the case. I cracked the case. Jenny- Jenny, c'mere, I cracked the case. I think Bon killed Kennedy. I think Bo-Bon kill- Jenny I think Bon killed John F. Kennedy.'"

-They start talking about if Sophie would drink, and Martin says "I think Sophie drunk, like, at a party, like- imagine it's like, the only time she goes at a party, and it was just because she was, like, going with Jenny, who was invited. And she gets drunk, and then she's like, 'Uh, here's my car. This is my car.' and she doesn't even have a car. She's just trying to, like, break into a random car on the street."

Martin jokes, saying, "The entire friend group is like, talking about, like, 'aw, yeah, dude, y'know, when my grandma passed away, it was so sad,'- and then Sophie goes like 'Dude, when JFK died, it was like a national tragedy.'"

-[Eva] "Sophie would hate The Irishman. If she watched it."

[Martin] "She wouldn't watch twenty minutes of it! She would be like 'Jenny, I don't get this. I don't get this.'"

[Eva] "She would be like, 'I'm turning this off, this sucks.'"

[Martin, laughing] "And Jenny would be, like, so offended."

-Martin says, "I think Jenny would be more, like, artistic, and, like into experimental films. And Sophie would just watch, fucking, I don't know, fucking-" and Eva interrupts, saying, "Sophie would enjoy Adam Sandler movies if she was, like alive today. She would enjoy Adam Sandler movies." Martin laughs, saying, "Do you think Sophie would watch Ted and be like, 'Ohh, that's just like me...'?"

-Eva says, "I just had the worst idea. Sophie would, like, watch those stupid fucking Sigma Male movies, like Taxi Driver, and shit like that, and be like 'oh, that's me. that's me.' Martin laughs, saying, "That is so accurate! Imagine Sophie watching American Psycho, and for an entire week, like quoting the movie." then later says, "Imagine she does the fucking Taxi Driver cut, for like two days, and then starts crying because she regrets it."

-[Martin] "Someone- someone once said- Did I ever tell tell you, Eva and Crystal, that there was this one time when I was high, and I- I heard someone on Twitter going like, 'oh Sophie would love Weezer,' and I started crying. I started crying."

[Eva] "She would! Sophie would love Weezer!"

[Martin] "No! No she wouldn't! And I started crying, because I realized I failed as a creator."

-[Eva] "Someone asked, 'Does Jenny get high?' Yeah, Jenny would get high. Jenny would be stoner."

[Martin] "Yeah. No- I think she- she was probably, like, back in like, the late 70's she was more of a stoner, but then, when she started living with Sophie, she kinda just, started like, just settling down. Into a jolly- Into a silly, jolly lifestyle."

-[Eva] "Sophie would get really irrationally angry over video games, I think."

[Crystal] "I feel like she wouldn't, like, say anything. She would just stare really angrily at the screen."

[Eva] "She would, like, pick up a thing on her desk and just crush it."

Martin says he wants to draw that, and later posts this:

-Eva reads a question asking what Sophie's fears are. Martin says, "I think Sophie's fears, um, to me- and, of course, I cannot explain where this originates from, because again, it's spoilers. But I think one of Sophie's, like, fears she has- I wouldn't say it would be 'losing control', but not being able to decide what happens to her. Like, the idea of not being able to have control of her future. To me, I feel."

-Eva says "[Bon] would occasionally vomit blood, as a treat."

-Martin says "I think Sophie- I mean, I don't think she would be completely competitive, but I think Sophie would secretly be a bit competitive, when it comes to playing games. And Jenny would be more like 'Hey, it's just having fun!' and that's just because Jenny is like, the best gamer ever."

-Someone asks if Jack or Rose would experience road rage, and Martin says, "A lot of, uh, Jack, when I first wrote Jack, was a lot of inspiration from Me and my dad, because both me and my dad have had to deal with anger issues, and we both had to, like, y'know, go treat that. But I will forever remember how my dad would act during fucking road rage. I think Jack would act like that, just- Jack would fucking punch the fucking steering wheel, going 'God FUCKING DAMN IT!', and he would like, get out of the car, and- because this is something my dad would do- Jack would get out of the car and walk to the fucking thing that's causing the traffic jam. And go, like, 'Hurry the FUCK up, HURRY UP!'"

Martin goes, "I think Jack would go up to the driver that's causing the traffic jam, with the most polite, gentle look on his face. He'd ask him to, y'know, put the window down. And then he would poke his head through the window, and he would go, "Heya, man. KILL YOURSELF!!!!"

-Martin goes, "Why do Jenny and Sophie say 'fuck' so many times in BunnyFarm?" to which Crystal responds, incredulously, "You're the one who wrote the script, what do you mean!?"

-Martin says, "I think Sophie would eat the Forever Weed Brownie."

-Eva asks if Sophie would have the same anger issues as Jack, and Martin says, "No, I don't think she would have anger issues, but I do think she would have a big- a big fuckin' temper."

Eva responds, going "Well, no, she fucking broke some kid's arm and saved some girl's head, she probably does have, like, some anger-" and Martin goes, "Well- yeah, yeah. To be fair, yeah."

-Martin says, "I've told this to Eva, Sophie was a shoplifter, for a while."

-Martin says he changed Sophie's height again (For what, like the third time?) She's about 5'6-5'7 now. Jenny's height has increased proportionally, Martin doesn't give a number for her, but says she's still taller Felix, who's 5'7.

-Eva talks about how she was asked to sing a song as Bon for an episode, and the song Martin had sent her had some sexual undertones, so he changed it to be more kid-friendly and told her to perform the new lyrics. But she fucked up, and just sang the normal song, so they're just using that audio anyway, and it's really funny to both of them.

-Martin says, "One idea I had, back in TWF2, that I really want to repurpose someday- Originally, there was going to be a funny scene where Kevin, Hilary and Ashley would, like, play around with the robots, and dress them up, and make them do fucking goofy poses and shit like that. And I think, If i ever get the chance to do it again, I would probably do something like that... I would really love doing a scene like that, in The Walten Files. The caretakers just absolutely doing goofy shit in K-9."

-Eva talks about how she's a bit mildly uncomfortable with cutesy ship art of Felix and Linda, and asks Martin if that's weird of her. Martin says, "I don't think Felix was abusive, per se. I don't Felix, like, abused of Linda. Y'know, I don't think we was, just, uh- intentionally taking advantage of Linda's emotional state, for his own benefit. But I do think Felix was a very neglectful person, who- the way I see it, he was just with Linda just because, y'know? He didn't really- It was just a thing of, 'Oh, there's a guy and there's a girl. It makes sense, yeah, it should be a couple, yay,' Y'know? And the way I've always seen it is that Linda and Felix had, had, a good dynamic. But I don't think it was a good romantic dynamic.

I think they just- They took what could have been a could've been a potential good friendship as romantic feelings, and that was their downfall. And by being a couple they didn't really help each other, and Felix being neglectful eventually took a toll on Linda. Which- is bad! It's a very bad behavior. And I don't blame people who consider that to be emotional abuse, but to me I don't feel like Felix ever had that intention. But it's not a good couple, because they're not healthy for each other."

-Martin continues, "I feel like Felix didn't know how to be- Felix didn't have a couple before Linda. And I feel like, to me, Felix never properly learned how to love? So, to me, it would be like, uh, he wouldn't be emotionally connected with Linda. He wouldn't open up to her, and he wouldn't really try to be close to her. Both in an emotional and a physical way. It would just be like, every now and then, that he remembers, 'oh yeah, my wife', and just, like- a kiss, every one in 500 years."

-"I do think that Linda was a very independent person. And does- she wasn't like, too focused on, 'oh, how much does Felix care about me?', she was just, like, doing her own thing. I think it was later down the line that she started realizing how neglectful Felix was, and started, like, actually trying to reconnect with him, in a way. And since Felix had become worse and worse, he just kinda kept brushing her away until he ended up confronting her, and ended up hurting her feelings in a really bad way."

-Martin reads a question, asking, "Why did Felix start drinking, anyway?" and answers, "Uh, without revealing it too much, I think the reason he started drinking was because, uh, there was a problem, to Felix, that was starting to build up, and he started isolating himself on that problem. And, uh, when he started isolating himself, he started losing all the things he had, to like- all the shoulders he could lean on. So, without nobody he could actually go to, to reach out to them, he started drinking. Because it kinda numbed away those feelings, it kinda helped him control all the frustrations he had about himself, and the kind of person he was. And thus, at first he was just, like, 'Oh, it's just, every time I feel some kind of hatred towards myself and the person I am.' And it kept escalating, to the point that-- The moment he started fully hating himself was the moment he started completely drinking all the time. To kinda, just numb away those feelings."

Martin says, "To me, uh, the way I see it is like The Shining, where they refer to alcohol as a medicine. And to me, I feel like Felix saw it as a medicine, too. Like, as a way that, hey, it's an easy way to be happier with the person you are and the decisions you've made."

-"I feel like, in a way, the way I see Felix as a character- I like to think that he's someone who isn't happy, wasn't happy with the kind of person he became and the kind of decisions he took, because I think he saw a lot more potential in him that he didn't- that he didn't actually use. And, it's like, I feel like that frustration was the one of the reasons he got into drinking. Because it's like, just the idea of, 'Hey, I wasted so many years away not doing the stuff I wanted to do. So what's the point anymore?', Y'know."

-"Felix has- In my opinion, a very realistic, kind of like- I want to say a middle-aged crisis. As like, a way of being depressed over- I like to think Felix is sad that he didn't get to savor his young age very much. Because, to me, it's like, one second it was him and Jack going, like, 'Hey! We gotta do this project, and it's going to be so cool, so great and everything!', and then the other second it's like, having to worry about the paperwork, and the idea that- Yeah, sure, Jack and him are still best friends, but Y'know, Jack has his family now. Jack has other priorities, it's not the funny, 'Hey, we're young, we have our whole future ahead of us!' because now the future is happening, and Felix doesn't know what the fuck he's about to do, what the fuck is going to happen to him. And thus, he instantly thinks it's all doomed, it's too late for him to choose a different way to be, a different person to be with, a different goal to have. He thinks that all the decisions he made lead him to this, and he can't change it, because it's too late for that. I think that's what kinda dooms him, in a way."

-Martin says, "To me, when [Felix] had a low point, instead of trying to get himself out of it, he just accepted defeat, because he thought he couldn't get any lower than that. And, there was another rock bottom, and another one, and another one." He says, "I'm always going to say this- and this is kinda like, a message from The Walten Files- It's not a priority, but it's a message that you cannot live a future you do not want to live. You cannot force yourself to accept and settle down for a future you don't want to live, because you're only going to live in constant- you're going to be miserable with yourself! And you're going to be constantly looking to the past, instead of trying to fix your future.

And I think the main flaw with Felix- and you can even notice now, in the current content, that Felix looks a lot in the past, and he's stuck in the past, and he's so unhappy with the place he is right now, that he doesn't try to get himself out of it. And it's just like, "Ah, maybe if I just keep doing what I'm doing, it'll just magically get better on it's own!', and that's not how life is, so yeah."

-Martin and Eva talk about how it's kinda funny, how for them, Felix's hangups have served as a sort of cautionary tale, because his experiences and struggles are so human and so relatable, that his behavior helps them to understand why you need to work against the kind of thinking he succumbs to.

-Eva goes, "I can't wait until we can have long ass discussions like this, publicly, about fucking Jack." and Martin goes, "God! Jack is so cool, too!"

-Some asks if there's any "canon trans rep" in The Walten Files. Martin says, a little regretfully, that No, there aren't, not because he thinks there shouldn't be transgender people in The Walten Files, but because he doesn't go out of his way to think about applying those sorts of labels to characters as he makes them, he just lets them develop naturally, and sometimes ends up applying concepts like that depending on what he thinks feels natural for them. He says, "I never actually touch the territory of, like, their gender identity and all that. So, I guess you could headcanon any character you want as trans. That's totally fine."

-Martin says, "Felix, his main issue was not talking to people and getting help when he needed it the most, and I feel like the way I wrote it stemmed down from the way that a lot of- especially in that era- there was a lot of toxic masculinity around the idea that you cannot show weakness around other people. That you have to be, like, the strong person that takes care of everyone else. You have to be, like, the man in the group, the man in the family, and you cannot, like- you cannot be vulnerable towards anyone else. And I feel like Felix kinda grew up around that mentality, and he isolated his issues from everyone else, because he felt like showing any kind of, uh, vulnerability and just any weakness at all would make him lesser.

And I feel like that problem amplified itself when he met Jack, who was this collected, smart person, who always knew what he had to say. He was charming, he always had an answer for everything, and Felix felt like- if he- if he showed vulnerability towards Jack, Jack would see him as someone lesser than him, y'know? As someone weak. Not worthy of being Jack's friend, y'know?"

-Eva reads a question that asks, "What're some genuine flaws about Jack, besides his anger issues? Has he ever done something he ended up regretting?". Martin pauses for a while, then says, pretty definitely, "Yeah. He does."

Martin then says, "I feel like we could answer some flaws about personality. I think, like, the one thing I could say is that Jack also stems a lot from that mentality of, like, that you shouldn't be weak, you shouldn't show vulnerability to anyone. And I feel like, uh, he- the only person to me, that Jack was ever vulnerable to, the only person that Jack could tell 'I'm scared', to was Rosemary. And, uh, I feel like Jack is a person who wants to always be in control of everything. He cannot lose control, because when he loses control he feels weak, and he doesn't like feeling weak.

And, uh- He kinda, like- One of the bad things that happened, is that, to me, I feel like he kinda passes those bad habits to Sophie, who also doesn't like the idea of losing control. And doesn't like the idea of showing other people that she cries, and that she's vulnerable. And I feel like that stemmed a lot because of Jack."

-"I think one of the worst things with Jack is that he has a problem with communicating stuff. He cannot, for the life of him, just let out a vulnerable side of him. And the way I wanted to show that is that he's always shown smiling in photos, he never tries to frown. He never tries to show any other face, other than just him being okay, him being happy."

-[Eva] "I find it cool how, like, Jack wants himself to be perceived as like, this ideal dad type-guy, which is also how Felix-"

[Martin] "The perfect- the perfect person."

[Eva] "... In reality, Jack would be like, very- very flawed. Very, like-- I don't know how to describe it. His brain would be very, like- emotionally he'd be very fucked up. Not, like, evil- I mean like. his emotions and shit, he has a really bad way of expressing them, and stuff like that."

[Martin] "He doesn't know. He doesn't know how to express his emotions. And to me, Jack, I feel like- I feel like one of Jack's greatest flaws is that, to him, everything is appearances. He really cares a lot about appearances, and he cares about looking like the perfect role model, like the fucking 1950's magazine, cut-clear perfect dad, and his cut-clear perfect family where everything is fine, and nothing can ever go wrong. That's one of, like, Jack's fears. But if we talk more about it, we'll go into spoiler territory!"

-They talk about how frustrating it is to be so interested in and passionate about these characters, but so little of their stories have made it to the audience so far, so they have to be really cagey about everything. Martin says, "I think, mostly because of Sophie, because to me, the way that Sophie is shown in The Walten Files 3, that's just scratching the surface. That's not an ounce of, like, her character. And I really, really want to show what she does, and how everything goes down, but I can't."

-[Eva, reading] "Which character's story goes the deepest? Which character has the most depth?"

[Martin, immediately.] "Jack. Definitely Jack. (pause) No- Jack and Sophie. I think it's Jack and Sophie."

-Martin says, "Bon is so- a much worse person than Felix, but I really like that he's not as unlikable, because Felix knows what he's doing wrong, and apologizes and says he wants to change, but he doesn't. Whereas Bon is a delusional prick, who fucking- doesn't regret anything. And that's so cool to me." Later, he says, "I wouldn't say [Bon] has regret, but he has a lot of, like, emotion about what he's doing. He's not like a cold, heartless killer."

-Martin answers one last question, "What was your original plan for The Walten Files?" and answers, "The original plan for The Walten Files was actually very different, because it was- first of all, I had two original ideas. Originally, it was going to be just a compilation of, uh, footage of Welcome to Bon's Burgers, and I was just gonna plaster a VHS effect on it, and just be like, 'hey, look at all this cool stuff!' But then, when I scrapped that idea, there was The Walten's Archive, which was gonna be, like, a documental, that was, like, a retelling of the events that happened. Like, a 1990s documental, like, a dramatization of everything that happened, and that's why you'd see everything in like, a cinematic light and everything. And it was going to be, like, ten episodes. And I still have that document, and some of the ideas carried over to the actual stuff, but not all of them."

-Eva wants to answer one last question, too, saying, "Someone asked, 'Is "Bon" a 'it's for the greater good' type of person when it comes to his killings?' I'd say yes. Whenever he's like, killing someone, he definitely knows that they're afraid and that they don't want to die, but he'd kinda like, think of it as 'Oh, you don't know what's good for you,' or 'This is for the greater good,' like, when he's killing them. That's kinda like, a way he would justify it in his mind. Like he would just think, 'Oh, yeah, you want this, you just don't know it,' like shit like that."

#the walten files #twitter space recap #sorry this took so long I Hope you Understand Why

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lover-of-mine · 5 days

Text

Okay, so, time to write the blue and yellow meta: deranged version. Shoutout to @dangerpronebuddie for the thoughts that are helping me in this particular delusion (This is gonna have some copy/paste from the other one just for the context to be all in one post, but stay with me anyway if you read that one already I promise this one has more stuff)

Okay, so I have been going insane trying to figure out what the blue and yellow means.

And now I have a theory. So for this one, I'm gonna use the fact that they are using the sun on a wall and that they completed the blue and green with Buck and Eddie at the gym scene with the bottle and the towel to assume I am right, and they complete these things with other elements of the scene, wall, decoration, everything.

Okay, so, when tracking the blue and green thing so I could make this post, I kept wondering why there aren't a lot of Henren examples of it, this season has given us a few more scenes, but I'm pretty sure there are only these 2 before season 7. But like, I didn't think much of it even though I didn't understand why.

But Anna, I thought this was about the blue and yellow, why you talking about the blue and green? Well, I think the blue and yellow is the blue and green for queer couples. Stay with me, I promise I have enough proof to create a reasonable doubt lol.

Okay, so, the other day I saw a henren edit that had their first date and I already had the yellow behind Eddie in my mind and was like, that's interesting, their first date is blue and yellow.

Then, someone is making a Karen in every episode series, and I saw a set of her in yellow and was like "wait, I need to stop looking for answers in the straight couples, buddie is a queer couple, I need to see if this is a pattern that has already been established for the other queer couple, do henren have different rules?" and yes, I think they do.

Going back to the blue and green thing for a second, the easiest couple to track the blue and green is madney. Every couple has worn blue and green, but they have been blue and green since their first scene. And while they do wear blue and green for inconsequential scenes, they are in blue and green for things like getting back together in season 6, finding out Jee is a girl, the date after Doug, the hospital after Doug, the whole Boston episode is blue and green in nature, I talk about that in more detail in my blue and green applied to buddie meta if you're interested.

So, assuming they are establishing the blue and yellow with henren in the same way they do the blue and green with madney, blue and yellow in important henren scenes sounded like a nice bet since the blue and yellow is present on their first date, right? And the same way Boston is inherently blue and green, tomorrow is very blue and yellow.

But you don't really think I'm telling you I established a pattern with only one episode, right? Using other elements of the scene, considering the way they are using the sun a lot with buddie, I have quite a few examples, going back down to when they accept that the IVF didn't work and that they'll be okay. I also really like the way the club in fomo is lit in blue and yellow. (I'm trying to stay within the image limit so, tiny images, sorry lol)

But Anna, you are using the wall a lot. Yes, I am using the wall a lot. Why am I using the wall a lot? You know how madney is the guide for the blue and green? Their house is blue and green. Like decorations and stuff. Mostly the kitchen, but still. The detailing there, the pans, the blue chairs, the blue couch. Even Jee's room is greenish and blueish.

So, henren's house being yellow works, I think. Another point towards that is the way that Buck's bi awakening episode is blue and yellow.

So, I'm gonna be insane and say the blue and yellow thing is the blue and green thing but queer.

Here's where I'm diverging from the first post I made, why? Well, considering my main point of reference was henren and the earliest conclusive example I could find was in 3x04 when they are talking about the IVF, I didn't look in season 2.

But thanks to Maggie (💜) I went to look in Buck, Actually. To check Thomas and Mitchell.

We have the blue and yellow shirt, the blue and yellow lighting, the blue cake with the shirt. They also use the sun in their happy contemplating life moments.

Unrelated but I love the blue and green thing too much not to point this out and I just noticed it lol they have a lot of blue and green details too, the car, the driveway, the transition from a green cake to a blue cake, I just love that.

But, since the blue and yellow exists in the couple that is supposed to show Buck what love looks like, I'm gonna go full crazy here with buddie and blue and yellow, because we are starting at Eddie's introduction lol just another nice little day in the they cast Ryan with a plan delusionland.

Let's move past shirtless Ryan for a sec (yes, I could've used a different screenshot, but why would I lol) the bag above Eddie's head is blue, and there's that yellow thing behind Buck (Hen is also in yellow in this scene and everyone else is in the darker uniform so 👀)

But this is nothing yet, in terms of crazy. How about the way that Hector's call is blue and yellow? And the blue and yellow lights in the ceiling of the ambulance?

What if I told you the dialogue here is "Practice rounds have blue caps, gold caps are live."? Are you feeling insane with me yet?

I personally view the "you can have my back any day" as inherently blue and green, but Eddie's side does have that yellowish light in the middle there so, something else to consider.

But moving on, there's a lot of blue and yellow lighting during the earthquake, but even I will have to admit that's because of emergency lights, so I will keep moving, I am crazy but I also know when to admit that this show likes warm lights and sirens are blue lol

Next up, we have the fountain. And the elf happening right after this, like 👀👀

I couldn't find any other examples in season 2 tho.

I will admit that my season 3 examples are a really big stretch but, the grocery store, has blue, green, and yellow elements, mostly behind Buck.

Them making up the station, also has the yellow light element.

Other cutesy things I wanna point out are the summer camp talk and the cup thing, with the blue chair and the building.

And I kinda have to add the recovery conversation because of the oven and the light behind Eddie.

Also, they usually drink the genuine beer, that has a yellow label and the coming out scene has a beer with a blue label.

Okay, but I skipped a bunch of shit here in the middle. Well, season 5 doesn't have anything that stands out to me all that much. Season 6, has the poker date.

I'm kinda obsessed with the way that the coming out scene has Buck in blue and the yellow behind Eddie while he's dressed in black and the end of the poker date is the other way around. This one feel more on purpose to me than anything else that I pointed out, since this happens after tomorrow, where we see that in play with henren a lot.

But my question here is, if this is something that has been played with since season 2, what does this mean for buddie and survivors?

This scene has some blue and yellow elements and it is the lead to the will reveal.

And, well, the will reveal is undeniably blue and yellow. Their shirts are blue and yellow. And this scene reads as a love confession. It was talked about as Eddie's way of saying he loves Buck to the core. If you add this, and the elements of the shooting and how not platonic the they're in situation is, if any of this is true, then, well, what does it mean for this scene?

I kinda wanna go full conspiracy theory for a second, so bear with me. Buck coming out scene, Buck matches the lighting, everything around him is blue (in contrast to the kiss, where he is in a blue shirt but he has the yellow light behind him), kinda like what's happening with Eddie in the will reveal, but obviously, since Eddie doesn't really match, it's just in the same color palette, we can make an argument about him not being ready yet. Not like Buck is when it comes to his bisexuality now. Especially with the way this scene screams aborted love confession. So, since I'm already using this to fuel my Ryan got cast with a plan madness, I will also use this for my Eddie has been aware since season 4 madness.

This is long and kinda completely deranged but I think there is an actual argument to be made here, at least from season 6 forward, so this is my current theory, let's see how the rest of the season plays out 🫶

As always, if you read this I love you 💜

#911 meta #911 #buddie thoughts #buddie #anyway #here #911 spoilers #sorta #i sound insane #lol

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scoobydoodean · 3 months

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so i’ve always been annoyed by the belief that “sam and dean are toxically co-dependent, especially dean!” like it just baffles me once i remember all the times they’ve been apart without one of them being dead (and actually including post swan song to an extent), but i’ve never been able to properly articulate why i think dean at least isn’t really co-dependent on sam. like there’s a difference between being (co)dependent on somebody and dean’s parentification right? thanks!

I'll preface this by saying I am not a medical professional nor have I studied academic literature on codependency in great detail. That said, "codependency" is usually just a buzzword used colloquially to describe people who are obsessed with each other anyway. I address the colloquial use and how Sam is much more unhinged here. I'm guessing the colloquial use is really more what you mean, but if you're looking for something different or a little more specific than that, I can probably write or point you to some other things I've written if you give me something more specific to go on.

That said, there is something about the way fandom talks about "codependency" between Sam and Dean that bothers me, and I think by reading around about codependency today after I got this ask, and finding out that this term is controversial among mental health professionals as well... I finally figured out why.

I think to a lot of people, "codependent" has become synonymous with words like "needy" and "suffocating". However, the WebMD type articles I started with, suggest that the partner of the codependent party is the one whose needs seem to constantly overshadow and outweigh the needs of the codependent partner in the relationship. While the codependent partner can exhibit negative behaviors, the primary problem of the codependent party is that in being a caretaker, they can lose all sense of their identity and boundaries, and don't know who they are outside of being a caretaker for others. However, this is a more modern take on the term. Because these articles I started with mentioned academic controversy, I then found a few academic papers to skim, and this proved to be even more helpful in understanding why I... don't like this term very much.

First, the historical origins of it are... off-putting. The term "codependency" first emerged in academic literature in the 1940s to describe wives with alcoholic husbands who behave as "enablers" [1, 2]. I probably don't have to point out how different things were for women back then, and how rampantly sexist that context makes this first wave of literature sound, but it's discussed extensively in this article. Second, there is more stigma associated with the term partly because Alcoholics Anonymous (shocking /s) latched onto it starting in the 60s and 70s:

The influence of the AA culture in shaping the concept of codependency as an illness offered the idea that people who were close to the substance user were themselves suffering from an illness (O’Briean and Gaborit 1992). These people were viewed as enablers and coalcoholics (Cotton 1979). [ 1 ]

I... think I am probably not the only one who finds that utterly rancid to read (some academics writing on the subject certainly seem to):

According to Gus Napier, a noted family therapist, it is "ridiculous" to label codependency as a disease, because it is a culturally conditioned response of an overfunctioning person in relationship with an underfunctioning person (Meacham, 1990-1991). [2]

Some researchers who have pushed the term "codependency" as a diagnosis have actually suggested that literally anyone who is living with someone with an addiction should be called co-dependent by definition, regardless of any behavior they may exhibit, which tells you a lot about the lack of consensus and how meaningless the term can be [2]. The term (especially within the disease model where codependency itself is a from of addiction) has been criticized by many researchers for the misogyny through which the term originated, for unproductive negative labeling and pathologizing of people (especially women) dealing with incredibly difficult situations with their loved ones, for victim-blaming people (especially women stuck in abusive relationships) for the actions of their partners, for tangentially—negative stereotyping about people with serious addictions, and for conflating addiction with interpersonal problems, and in the extreme case—for suggesting separation from ones family is the solution to addiction and supporting someone with an addiction somehow always enables them [1, 2].

Since the original stream of literature related to addiction, codependency has rebranded and expanded into literature on family experiences with abuse and mental and physical illness. Which is where we get articles like this one I already linked. The codependent party is still a caretaker in these settings, caring for the needs of a loved one who is ill. Still, "codependency" is not an official medical diagnosis (i.e. not in the DSM-5). It's a term that has been used in academic literature by mental health professionals, when trying to describe a range of behaviors within dysfunctional families. These researchers do not agree on the term's meaning or on whether it even is or should be a diagnosis. Many are interested in it only from an interpersonal or personality perspective, which is also where we should stick.

Taking all of this into account though, I think the very first thing we have to ask ourselves is what exactly we get out of using the term "co-dependency" to describe Sam and/or Dean when the term doesn't even really have an agreed-upon meaning. Is the intention to write interesting character analysis, or is the intention to glorify or criticize using a term that has historically stigmatized understandable human reactions to troubled family situations? I think the goal has perhaps too often been the latter.

That said, I've already been referencing it, but I think this article does a good job of summarizing much of the literature, and then actually focusing on people who do choose, of their own accord, to identify with the term "codependent" because it is helpful for them in understanding their own lived experience and their patterns within relationships. I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to explore this as it relates to Sam and Dean with the right motivations. If you read the accounts of the respondents who choose to identify with the term, you'll see shades of Sam and Dean I think (I have written something pretty close to the chameleon-self about season 1 Dean, and I can apply that one to Sam too through his attempts to fit in at Stanford). When it comes to my experience with these characters however, I just don't find that I personally see any value in analyzing Sam and Dean through the word "codependent" given it's lack of agreed-upon meaning professionally and colloquially.

It seems to me that the term itself leads to more confusing conversations instead of less confusing ones because of the lack of clear definition, and the potential for negative stereotyping instead of actual edifying analysis is extremely off-putting to me. It just doesn't do anything for me personally. The issues to which it relates I think are interesting (especially parentification which is a term I do find useful), and I think criticisms leveled against the term are also useful to read in understanding ones own struggles with how fandom tends to frame Dean as a caretaker who they believe is actually somehow responsible for everyone else's decisions. But I think that perhaps I prefer words and concepts that are better defined than the muddiness of the term "codependent".

Lastly: Even if I'm not a particular fan of the term, the fact is that the actual show uses the term twice—in season 5 (shoutout to butch--dean's transcript search engine). Once in 5.11 "Sam, Interrupted" (to Dean):

DR. FULLER Well, to be frank, uh, the relationship that you have with your brother seems dangerously codependent. I think a little time apart will do you both good.

First, this dude doesn't really know what's going on and thinks Sam and Dean are having delusions. However, in season 5, Sam's experience with demon blood is repeatedly paralleled with drug or alcohol addiction, and Sam is someone for whom Dean has been made to feel responsible for most of his life. This episode addresses Dean's overly burdensome responsibilities in other ways and it's also come up in the past in 1.12, 2.09, 2.10, and 4.05. I prefer to discuss this theme with much more specific terms. In this case, I would say Dean has an "overactive sense of responsibility to others", originating first with his childhood experiences with parentification. Sam also has a tendency to try and make Dean shoulder responsibility for his decisions when they backfire, and does so multiple times related to the demon blood (4.04, 4.21, 5.05). Cas and Zachariah also both blame Dean for Sam breaking the last seal because he didn't stop him in time (5.01, 5.02) and Bobby criticizes how Dean responds to Sam's addiction (4.22).

And then again in 5.18 "Point of No Return", specifically when Zachariah (my favorite manipulative angel) tries to get Adam to be on his side by basically calling Sam and Dean creepy incestuous weirdos:

ZACHARIAH So you know you can’t trust them, right? You know Sam and Dean Winchester are psychotically, irrationally, erotically codependent on each other, right?

This one honestly to me is just Zachariah doing Zachariah things. I'll reach these episodes on my rewatch fairly soon though, so we'll see if I end up talking about it more then.

Bacon, I., McKay, E., Reynolds, F. et al. The Lived Experience of Codependency: an Interpretative Phenomenological Analysis. Int J Ment Health Addiction 18, 754–771 (2020). https://doi.org/10.1007/s11469-018-9983-8

Anderson, S. C. (1994). A Critical Analysis of the Concept of Codependency. Social Work, 39(6), 677–685. http://www.jstor.org/stable/23717128

#mail #5.11 #5.18 #parentification #family chains

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apieceofmi · 5 months

Text

STRANGERS… or not

Noah Sebastian x Reader

Summary: a stranger in a train that captive her heart, never seen him again… but his face was familiar, maybe that was more than just a connection, maybe she already saw him somewhere. A lot of research and… oh, yeah, she really sees his face before, her and millions of people… it's just sad that he seems so untouchable. Right?

Author’s note: Okay, so part 2 was unexpected, but It's here!! And now I have a few more ideas for this same couple and context… I think there are more coming. Anyway, hope you like it! xx

Part One (You don't have to necessarily read the first part to understand this one, it's up to you)

__________________________________________________________

Just when I thought that my chances are over, I found him. The stranger I’ve met in a train coming back from my hometown months ago, talked for hours and I left without knowing his name.

I took the same train and visit my parents more times than is good for my mental health, I sat there and wait for him, but got nothing. Then I searched in social media, everywhere I could think of, but it is so difficult to search for something - someone in this case - that you know nothing about. I have an image in my mind, the sound of a laugh, and nothing more. We shared so much that day, but as the days passed it seemed like nothing. Then, when I gave up and convinced myself that I was making it bigger than it should have been, when I accepted that it had become just a great memory, exactly how I wanted it, I found him.

Screaming in my phone, I'm not the only one that think he's a cool guy. I feel kind of stupid when I realize that he's not just an ordinary person, and that's probably why I thought I already knew him that day on the train.

Not a surprise, just me romanticizing my life again.

And maybe that is the reason why I'm doing it again, because I swear that I feel something more around this - him. In my delusion mind, you don't meet someone by chance. You don't screw up the chance you have to really know someone when you feel a special connection with them. Not like I did. Maybe that's the reason that I feel the necessity to just see him again. I don't know what I expect of this, and maybe I should just let it go, but I have friends that are delusional like me, and they support me with this crazy feeling… So, yeah, I listened to all of his band's albums and came to a show - just because it was in my city. It's not like I fight for tickets when I found out that they would be here. Not at all.

Everything was good, and I was already feeling that coming to the show was the closure that I need to this history when my friend Anna, that came with me, grab my hand while we're exiting the venue.

“Let's wait outside. I know some fans do it, sometimes they stop to take pictures and talk to them.”

I get nervous immediately. I've already seen him, discovered who he is and for me that's enough, I don't have the courage to be in front of him again. I don't want him to think that I'm stalking him and make this role thing uncomfortable. It was supposed to be something nice, just it. Actually, it was just supposed to be a memory. Everything that happened after I left that day shouldn't have happened, I didn't say my name because I didn't want anything to happen. I'm going further than I should, I'm exceeding the limit I drew for myself. It's more than enough.

“No! We can't wait for them!” I protest, thinking in an excuse when Anna looks at me, her eyes narrow, knowing me well enough. “I have to work in the morning.”

“You can miss one rehearsal.”

“I have class tomorrow. I can't miss it, I'm the teacher.” I say, but Anna doesn't take me serious, she knows that I'm having a meltdown right now. “What if they don't even came out? We’re just going to lose time waiting here.”

Squeezing my hand, she smiles at me.

“Then at least you tried.”

So we wait, talk with some people that are waiting there too and it's cool. It's nice. But I can't stop feeling that I'm doing something wrong being here. I don't know, betraying the universe, maybe? I made my choice that day and just because I regret it now, can I just switch sides?

Uh, no, I don't think so.

Maybe it's supposed to be just like it was, some nice exchange in the train between strangers. Maybe it supposed for me not saying my name.

I'm almost given up and going home when I see them coming in our direction. Anna has a big smile in her face, her eyes shinning, and I almost can hear her saying - he's here! He's here! - but I just look at her and then at him approaching the others, and I freeze, taking a step back.

There's another member of the band with him - with I know now that his name is Nicholas - and they start to talking with the little crowed waiting for them. I stay in the corner with Anna, without a clue to how to start this interaction without being a weirdo.

I'm still considering running out of here when his eyes catch me one time. Two times. A little frowning in his face in the third time. What if he doesn't remember me?

“I know you” he says, his eyes studying mine, coming closer.

“We met at…” But I don't need to finish when his faces changes. He recognizes me.

“Yes, I remember” he smiles. “You found me.”

I let out a small nervous breath, forcing it into a weak smile.

“It took long enough, but yes. I did found you.”

There’s a grin that won't leave his lips, and I cannot stop staring at it.

“What's your name?” Yeah, here's the million dollars question.

I finally tell him my name, answering the question I should have answered months ago when I had the opportunity, then had to beg the universe for another chance.

“Well, I’m Noah” he says next.

“Nice to meet you.” I chuckled nervously.

I already know his name, but him saying it to me feels more legit. I think I can finally stop referring to this man in my mind as him or the stranger.

He finally has a name.

“You liked the show?” Noah asks.

“Yes! It was so great!” I rejoiced. “You guys are so talented! I was shocked when I was listening the albums, I'm just… I became a fan.”

The smile in Noah’s lips grows and the shy look in his eyes makes strange things happen in my stomach. I really hope that's not butterflies. It's like something frozen at the moment, at the same time suddenly I'm well aware of the people still around us, hoping for a little more time with the members of the band they came to see.

Noah gives me a little embrace, catching me off guard when I hear his voice so close.

“You found me, now it's my time” he whispers in my ear.

“I follow you” I replied, the words coming out my mouth like it's an urgency.

“Great.” he says, stepping back and giving attention to the person next to us.

I look around for Anna, who I didn't even see leaving, she's back at my side in a second.

“How it was?” she asks as we leave.

“He said he's going to find me” I chuckle. “ I think on social media? I don't know.”

“It would be suspicious if he asked for your number in front of everyone.” She considers. “Or even invite you for, I don't know… their bus” Anna makes a funny face, giving me a side look. “I wouldn’t let you leave with him like that anyway, he’s cute and talented, but he’s still a man.”

I laugh, loving her a little more for taking care of me.

“I wouldn’t abandon you like that.” I say. “Thank you for coming with me.”

"Of course. As if I would miss the chance to help my best friend meet her train crush, who happened to be a fucking rock star." She rolls her eyes, getting into the car.

“It don't even make sense.” I let out a disbelief laugh. “Did you see how many people were there today? This is like impossible, he's famous, a celebrity, I'm not the kind of person…”

“Stop it right now.” She interrupts me. “He's a person just like you are. Yes, he's talented and is in a band that obviously is getting bigger every second, but it doesn't mean anything. He's human. You're human. It's all we need.”

“You're right, I'm thinking too much again.” I say, starting the car. “At least I tried.”

I'm already home getting ready to sleep when a notification came on my phone. A message on Instagram from an account with a peculiar profile pic. I don't make a ceremony and open it right away.

“I can't believe that I spend two hours talking with you that day and don't ask your name first thing!”

“I swear, I'm not like this in normal situations”

“You got me nervous”

I bite my bottom lip, trying to stop myself from smiling.

“I'm sorry for not saying my name when you asked. I regret it every day since I left.”

“Two fools”

“How did you found me? I tried to look for you but get nothing”

“Well, I'm not as popular as you”

“A video of the band randomly appeared on my timeline, I think I talked about the guy on the train so much to my friends that the algorithm took pity on me and threw it in my face.”

“For once social media did something right”

“So… You're going to stay in town or…?”

“No. We already left”

“I didn't want to expose you out there earlier, but if you get me your number, I can let you know when I'm around?”

“I'll understand if you don't want to, my life can be a little crazy sometimes.”

There's no hesitation in my answer.

“I really want to know better the guy that I met on the train three months ago and can't stop wondering about, so… Yes, If that's okay for you.”

“Great. I've searched for you in every city that we go to since that day, can't wait to properly get to know you too, stranger.”

So I sent my number.

And God, I should have known I was in trouble the moment I got that first message from him. As the days went by, I realized that I was crazy to think that Noah was untouchable just because of what he does for a living, he has become the funniest and sweetest person I know.

We're definitely not strangers anymore.

Not when we talk every day now.

Not when I learned all his favorites.

Not when I’m counting days to see Noah in person again.

#noah sebastian fic #noah sebastian fanfic #bad omens x reader #noah sebastian and reader #noah sebastian x reader #noah sebastian fluff

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thatonedaydream · 2 months

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Don’t really wanna be Elevator Buddies (Sephiroth x Reader)

A/N: Part 1 here. im suffering sufficiently at my current job that im leaving that i think i can write something because i need an outlet and i also want sephiroth to make it better. also, i am so much older than when i wrote the first part; as such, my writing probably reads a lot more different - better, worse or same is up to you. to those who have requested a part 2 and have waited literal years (its been 4!!!!!), i love you, i'm so sorry its so late.

★★★★★

Staring at the message in your work inbox, you suddenly couldn’t summon the effort to care. Your mood instantly dropped and you needed to leave your desk. You kept your headset on as you wandered towards the small staff kitchen under the guise that you were still connected to a meeting and listening in, when really you just want to block people out. You didn’t want to be perceived.

You just wanted out.

ShinRa Inc wasn’t known as the best place to work, but the pay was good and it was better than any other options you had.

The coffee machine rumbled as you waited for it to process your order. You didn’t even want to drink the cheap, watered down stuff, you just didn’t want to be at your desk looking at that stupid fucking request. There wasn’t much that could get your out of these kinds of emotional troughs bar one thing that seemed to always work.

You felt the vibration of a notification from your phone in your pocket. Knowing what and who it was probably from, you eagerly checked the new message that had come through. It was just a photo of blue sky with some clouds—the tops of greenery you didn’t recognise lined the bottom. It was very abstract and out of context, but you were used to it now.

Putting aside your misery for the moment, you typed out a short response.

I can’t beat that. This is my view.

You took a photo of the ceiling above you. Stark, stale and claustrophobic in comparison to the natural sky you were given. You sent it off and only a few seconds later, received a thumbs up in response. It made you laugh.

Sephiroth was a terrible at texting sometimes, but it was endearing in way.

When you had first traded contact details a little after The Elevator Incident, it had taken a while before anything was sent from either of you. You were too scared of bothering him and he was more than likely too busy or just didn’t know what to send. It also felt like trading personal IDs was crossing into an entirely different friend territory that wasn’t as nonchalant as impromptu elevator conversations.

The messaging ice was broken when, one day, you got a single image of chocobo out in the wild with no context. If you didn’t have Sephiroth’s ID saved, you would have wondered if someone had messaged the wrong person. Your response was a quick ‘I love chocobos, they’re so cute!’, and your reward several hours later was a picture of a sweetly sleeping chocobo in a stable.

Sephiroth was a man of very few words, but he still found ways to communicate with you and that honestly made you feel… Well, you weren’t sure you wanted to admit what you were feeling too much. You knew you had feelings for the man, that you were attracted to him, but those feelings had no where to go. You couldn’t tell him.

For many reasons, you just couldn’t ever tell him about your ever growing affection for him.

You just couldn’t.

You wandered back to your desk, completely forgetting about the coffee you had made in the kitchen. The message from the 1st Class Soldier perked you up way more than the caffeine would have anyway. You scrolled through your requests again and sighed. It was probably going to be another late night in the office. Maybe you’d just call in sick tomorrow.

You worked a few more hours, eyeing your phone and hoping for more messages, but none came. Sephiroth was often the one to initiate conversation as you still felt like you would bother him if you sent something first. Still… You kind of really wanted to talk to someone—to him, specifically. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to send one message?

Picking up your phone you opened up your chat and tried to think of something to say. You typed out several things, but kept deleting them. ‘Hello’ felt too formal, ‘Hi!’ seemed too chipper.

Is something wrong?

The message popped up before you could send something yourself.

!!! No! I was just about to message you. How are you?

There was a pause—and then a short voice message.

▶• ıll— “Are you sure you’re alright? Was there something else you wanted to say to me?”

You could hear the smile in his words and you flushed upon the realisation that he must have seen your stupid three dots pop up and disappear constantly in the chat. You playfully hissed your own voice note back,

▶• ıll— “Ohhh shut up, I just didn’t want to bother you!”

Putting your phone down, you peeked over your divider and looked around to see if anyone else could hear you. It was fairly late in the office, way past usual business hours, so you could see some screens still lit up around the space, but there wasn’t anyone near you.

Your phone pinged a few times, indicating new messages. Some more photos, but this time of more a familiar sight—the Midgar cityscape.

I’m back.

It had been awhile since he had left on his last mission. You were glad he was back safe, not that you’d tell him that now. You sent off a quick, mildly motion blurred snap of your desk and sent it off.

A question mark? A question mark to what? The photo wasn’t that blurry.

It’s my desk.

Are you still working? It’s late.

Ohhhh… You cringed; it was late. Honestly if you didn’t procrastinate with absolute loathing and low morale earlier in the day you probably could have been home already, but you couldn’t push through the negativity.

Yeah, its been a rough day.

You waited for a response, but none came. Sephiroth went inactive spontaneously during your conversations, so it wasn’t surprising. Instead you put your phone down and continued on a project that was behind on its deadlines. Technically all of them were behind, but this one you at least had the energy to push through for now.

An hour later your phone pinged a couple times. A photo of the elevator you used everyday to get to up to your floor and:

Time to leave.

You stared at the message, biting your lip. Even if you wanted to leave, there was still things to be done and—

Do I have to drag you out?

▶• ıll— “Okay! Alright! I’m packing up, hold your damn chocobos. I’m leaving now.”

Who knew Sephiroth could be so pushy? During the long elevator ride down to the lobby, you wondered if maybe he only showed this side of himself to people he trusted or cared about. The thought made your stomach flip.

It could also have been that people never really gave Sephiroth the opportunity to be himself. It was an upsetting thought. He was the 1st Class Soldier, a warrior that couldn’t be toppled, a man way above the norm. Untouchable. Distant. You knew what his public image was like, but still somehow you couldn’t fathom how people couldn’t consider that there was another side to him.

The side of him that you always got to see.

The same Sephiroth that you saw was waiting for you as the elevator doors opened. You couldn’t help but smile at the sight. He stood by the empty reception desk with his arms crossed, looking out the front entrance. When he heard your footsteps he turned to face you almost immediately. The man’s expression would have seemed stoic to others, but you recognised the warmth in his mako-infused gaze.

What if you were the only person he looked at that way? You held your smile steady even as your heart argued with your head to accept that maybe that’s what you really wanted.

It felt like Sephiroth’s gaze only intensified as you approached him. “...You look awful.” His voice was low, quiet, but still teasing. There was a chuckle in there too, somewhere in his deep tone. Sure you had heard it recently in the voice message, but it wasn’t the same as hearing him speak to you in person.

“That’s so mean, Seph. Not even a proper greeting for me? Wow.” Even though you were exhausted, you automatically matched his manner. “You look…” Oh, you couldn’t tell him how you really felt about how he looked. There were so many adoring and affectionate words, yet somehow still not enough. “...Like you?” You finally sputtered out after filtering all the other things that your mouth wanted to say.

The 1st Class Soldier gifted you with a short laugh and you struggled to hold back the burst of emotions that bloomed in your chest. “You are so mean to me.” This interaction wasn’t like the others. This didn’t feel like the light playful chats in the elevator. When did these interactions change? When did all the same words that you used to use before suddenly mean something different?

Sephiroth suddenly leaned closer towards you, a small smirk crossing his lips. “I am nice to you.” The way he spoke was next to a purr, “Did you want me to be mean?” It felt like the mako glow in his eyes brightened for a moment; he was close enough that you could see specks of the otherworldly green in his irises.

You wanted to die on the spot. He was not flirting with you, no matter how much it felt like it. No way. However, before you could stop yourself, you replied quietly. “...I like it when you’re nice to me.” The look on Sephiroth’s face melted into something else—something just as warm, just as intense, but something so much more genuine and it immediately scared you. Before he could say anything more you let out dismissive laugh. “Phew, I am a lot more exhausted than I thought. I-I should probably get home.”

Maybe the fear was reflected in your expression. Sephiroth fell back into his usual cool and stoic demeanor and you wanted to apologise—it was hard not to feel as though you had just ruined something important. Casual conversation you could navigate. This? What was this?

Of course you’d find a way to make a bad day worse. Of course you’d ruin a good thing. Of course you’d—

A large hand pressed into your lower back and guided you forwards, interrupting your downward spiraling thoughts. When you looked up at Sephiroth beside you, he simply watched and waited for you to take the lead. Nothing in how he looked at you had changed from when you had first exited the elevator. “There’s a car waiting for you outside.” That voice you so adored, was steady and warm and sure. Still the same.

Quietly you stepped outside with Sephiroth in tow. He opened the car door for you, nodding to the driver who did the same in return. You sat in the back seat, with the soldier leaning outside on the vehicle, looking in to make sure you were comfortable.

“...Bye Seph.” You really did sound tired.

Sephiroth didn’t respond right away, but the silence wasn’t as heavy as the one inside the lobby. He placed a hand over his heart and bowed his head. “Goodnight.” You knew there was something else he wanted to say, but he held his tongue. There was another pause before he shut the door for you.

You leaned back in your seat and let the butterflies run rampant in your belly, let the buzz run through your veins, let it hum through your body. You covered your hands with your face. It felt like there was still something left to say, a conversation left unfinished.

From outside the ShinRa building, Sephiroth watched as you were driven away out of sight. He stood there, holding what he really wanted to say to you in his throat.

It was frustrating for him to know he could physically conquer any fight, any conflict, except for whatever he could see going on in your eyes. Did you know that he could see you becoming more and more tired with each interaction you had? It frustrated him to no end knowing that people took advantage of you and your time and your efforts. Idiots. Fools.

How could he put into words how you made him feel? Sephiroth was no good at words. He just wanted to keep you safe. He just wanted you not to be tired. He just wanted you to always smile when you saw him—a smile that said you were genuinely happy to see him. Not the 1st Class Soldier, but happy to see Sephiroth himself.

The man snapped out of his reverie as his phone pinged with a message. A voice note from you.

▶• ıll— “...I missed you, Sephiroth. Welcome home.”

Sephiroth stared at the screen of his phone.

And then he replayed the message, just to hear your voice again.

#reader x sephiroth #sephiroth #final fantasy vii #final fantasy 7 #ffvii #ff7 #final fantasy vii imagines #final fantasy 7 imagines #ffvii imagines #ff7 imagines #final fantasy imagines

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roadhogsbigbelly · 4 months

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ok i didn't really want to do this because i deleted the original posts when it had only 70 notes because i was under the assumption noone would see it but t/xttletale ended up reblogging it anyway and now i have people telling me to kill myself in my inbox so i guess i might as well give details

honestly did not know she was trans until people accused me of pedojacking her, for some reason it never registered because i guess i only see her blog when her posts pop up on my feed but you know my bad i guess

2)yes it's true the term "loliporn" never shows up but someone does say "don't say you're pro-kink and nasty gay sex if you're not supportive of ageplay, cnc, or incest shipping" and than she said "yes, and" which like. seems slightly like an endorsement? but i assume that loliporn was just kind of included with the package, because i do have evidence that toonimal would not be against that

3) i never directly called her a pedophile just that it's really fucking bizzare to have that hot take about "wholesome games" when you agreed with a take that said not liking incest porn or ageplay is "anti-kink or whatever

now did initially censor the names in the post because of reasons i'll explain later but i did realize with no context it looks like both posts were from the same person so i did end up mentioning in the tags that there were two different people before later deleting it all together. but i honestly don't feel THAT bad attributing it to her because she did both reblog the post and than also add on to it, which kind of negates the possibility she didn't fully read the post? still i did censor it again for reasons i'll explain later.

4) i kind of went out of my way to not attribute anything to her. when i talked about her weird stardew valley take i still censored them, because after being told to kill myself for having a lukewarm hot take on sex work last year i usually always censor posts when criticizng/making fun of them. i'm honestly surprised she managed to find it because i deleted it when it only had like 60 notes, and the only reason i found out she found it is because one of her followers sent be an ask telling me to kill myself. and out of curiousity i checked her blog.

i deleted this post before i post this just so her follower doesn't get harassed or whatever. but you know. not fun.

and 5) while i insist i didn't directly accuse her of being a pedophile i DID in fact accuse the person she was agreeing with of being a pedohpile. cause they are.

i'm not going to post the entire callout post cause it's honestly really fucking gross but tldr they run a "contact positive paraphilia forum" which is a basicly code for "actually fucking pedophiles" which kind of recontextualizes they entire post right? that's also why i went out of my way to censor txttletale's name and than later specify there were two different people before deleting it. because i assumed she didn't know the person she was agreeing with was an actual pedophile, but accidently agreeing with a pedophile is uh. not good. i think, someone actually informed her that toonimals was a pedophilia and she said this.

now i'm not saying you have to do a background check on every person you reblog from but if that post talks about "how pro-sex freak people need to be more supportive of people who are into incest" than actually yeah you do sort of have an obligation to make sure they aren't an actual fucking pedophile. the entire basis of that post is "people should stop being mean to actual sex freaks" and you not only reblog it but add onto that yeah that's a fucking issue because 99 percent of time the people who make those posts ARE actual fucking pedophiles, so yeah you probably should be a bit wary. because like.

this is my issue, i don't think you're a pedophile because you don't think there's anything wrong with fiction/sex acts that depict immoral things, my issue is that that logic is used and agreed upon by actual pedophiles. pedophiles are agreeing with you! that's not great! there's my issue with your logic!

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shegeekery · 2 months

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Reparenting Loki

I want to talk about a dynamic in the Loki/Mobius relationship (in the Loki TV-series) that I've seen touched on but not really discussed in depth.

Note to Lokius-lovers: nothing I say here in any way precludes a healthy romantic relationship. They're both consenting adults, after all, and this wasn't a formal therapist-client relationship.

There's a technique in therapy called "reparenting". The idea is that trauma and behaviors caused by bad parenting can be addressed to some extent if the therapist assumes the role of a "good parent".

I think we can all agree that the "All-Father" was crap as an actual father. Odin knew that Loki took after him even more than Thor did, but many of those shared traits were things that he tried to hide from everyone, while Thor better represented the image he wanted to project. The result was a cruel favoritism, which was picked up by Thor and the rest of the Asgardians. Frigga's love and support wasn't enough to counteract that cruelty, particularly in a strongly patriarchal society like Asgard.

Side note (because I'm that kind of geek): there were so many similarities between Odin and Loki (Odin's friend and blood-brother rather than his son) in the old Norse myths that some scholars have suggested that Loki was at one point simply an aspect of Odin. There's also evidence that the stories as they came down to us were manipulated by the Christians who committed them to writing to shoehorn Loki into something more like the Christian Devil.

Anyway, getting back to our guys... Within the context of the TVA, Mobius represented an authority figure to Loki, who had a long history of rebelling against (or betraying) authority for obvious reasons.

I think the first turning point in the relationship for Loki was:

Loki: I am smart!

Mobius: I know. Loki is rarely left speechless, but his only response to Mobius's simple affirmation was a very un-Loki-like "Okay..." He didn't know how to respond because he wasn't used to that kind of thing, particularly from someone who had power over him. It happened again with:

Loki: A villain.

Mobius: That's not how I see it.

The dynamic between these two people throughout Season 1 was like that. Mobius's genuine love (whether you read it as romantic, platonic, fatherly, brotherly, or a mix of any or all of these) for and non-judgmental acceptance of Loki was apparent from the start, but of course Loki's experiences during his very long lifetime made it nearly impossible for him to trust that until Mobius's actions convinced him that it was real. Learning to trust Mobius also allowed Loki to see himself in a new light.

For his part, Mobius consistently modeled what a good father would have been: loving and accepting, yes, but still able to apply "tough love" when that was warranted. Mobius didn't put Loki into the bad-memory loop to punish him because he was angry (though he was angry, or at least a bit hurt and disappointed). He was just trying to force Loki to acknowledge a truth about himself so that they could move forward — and it worked!

Mobius's instincts and experience as an actual father to two boys, one reasonably well-behaved and the other a mischievous troublemaker, served him well in this, even if he didn't consciously remember his life on the timeline.

Mobius all but confirmed this when he said:

Mobius: I see a scared little boy, shivering in the cold...

It's also significant that when Loki brought this up later, he called it "patronizing", which we usually use to mean "condescending", but can also mean "supporting" and has its root in the Latin word "pater" (father).

I see the hug in episode 1-5 as a sign that the reparenting had taken hold, and that Loki, while not completely healed (it would take a lot more than that!), was at least in a place where he could trust someone, accept love/friendship, and think beyond his own wants and needs.

By Season 2, the relationship between the two men was evolving into one of equals, but even then Loki still occasionally looked to Mobius for guidance. Mobius's approval had become important to him. When Loki witnessed the firm but compassionate way in which Don dealt with two boys who were so like himself and Thor (despite being a stressed-out single dad rather than a god-king with tremendous resources at his disposal), he had to have seen that this was at the core of who Mobius was. Moreover, Loki — and any viewers who had similarly survived a traumatic childhood full of emotional abuse and neglect — probably guessed that Don himself was a survivor who was determined to see to it that his boys would never have to deal with that. If that was the case, then Mobius didn't just see his own son in Loki. He saw himself and couldn't help but empathize.

Don wasn't perfect. His frustration with his younger son was very evident, but Loki, observing, could see the love that lay under it. He may even have thought of times when Odin was driven to anger by Loki's actions and realized that the anger didn't necessarily mean that Odin didn't really love him. Learning to forgive what can be forgiven is another aspect of recovering from childhood trauma.

It's worth remembering that Mobius knew Loki in much the same way we do. We got to see the things that Loki never let anybody see: the fear, the vulnerability, the pain, the longing, and the sadness. (Doesn't hurt that TH can turn a simple reaction shot into a freakin' soliloquy!) The difference is that, while we only get to see the highlights (and lowlights) of Loki's life, Mobius had access to all of it and he had centuries to study it.

Mobius literally knew Loki better than anyone else in (or out) of the multiverse. How could he not love him? And for Loki, knowing that somebody who knew him that well genuinely cared so much for him (same with Sylvie, who understood him in ways that only another Loki could and vice-versa) had to have shaken him to his core and made him rethink a lot of things. The fact that it was Mobius to whom Loki turned in episode 2.6 when he thought he might have to kill Sylvie shows how much he still looked up to Mobius in many ways.

This was a show about redemption, yes, but also about healing from childhood trauma. They did an amazing job with it.

#loki #loki laufeyson #loki series #loki mcu #reparenting #lokius #mobius #childhood trauma

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abberant-butler · 3 months

Text

Again. You wake up in your bed.

___ 1/2 I started this, my room flooded. I took a week off because all my stuff was in the living room. I set up my computer, worked on this, the dishwasher leaked and the pipe that flooded my room burst again when I got back from fixing a flat tire. I feel like an OBM truther with an active hit or something (/joking, very joking). Anyway, here's the first half of a Timeloop MC. The second half will happen... eventually. I'm very invested but and life and computer access keep testing me. lol ___

Waking up in your bed wasn’t the surprise. For now, there was a moment of hope. Had you done it? Had you managed to escape? Your feet hit the cold stone floor and you know that you shouldn’t get ahead of yourself. Yet. Belphegor wasn’t at breakfast. The drop in your mood is noted, but no one yet knows you well enough to ask. So that night, you travel up the stairs, standing at an arm's length.

Belphegor berates you for trusting him. You remember that it used to break your heart to hear him talk to you like that. Now, it’s just easier to get it over with.

Again.

You wake up in your bed.

Leviathan was angry that you thought you might have answers he didn’t. Enraged that, in the end, you did. Blinded by his passion and envy, he hadn’t even connected the dots of sharing space with his favorite author. In your confidence, this time, you push him past the edge.

Mammon wasn’t quick enough to save you. Yet if you’d let Levi win, he would have killed you anyway. It was something you’d already tried. Just as you’d tried this. Over, and over.

Again.

You wake up in your bed.

You’ve never lied to Asmodeus. You know his powers don’t work on you, but on one of the tries, you just let him think it does. Naturally you tell him the truth at every moment, yet in his own paranoia, he pulls out your heart- just to be sure. It’s strange to hear how quiet your body is without that heart. Without a pulse. The first time was horrible. Now, at least, you can appreciate the swiftness and the expensive perfume as you pitch forward into his arms.

You’re not sure if his brothers ever forgive him entirely, or if the exchange program goes on. It’s not like you’re someone as important as Solomon. Sometimes you think that his end is your favorite, because it’s always out of love. Twisted, scorned, strange love.

Again.

You wake up in your bed.

It’s getting old. You’re learning. Don’t be surprised by the way that Diavolo greets you. His butler is watching. Accept your place and stand up to Mammon, because he needs to know that you’ll fight. He needs to know that he’ll have a chance to get to you, when you need him, even if you already know he won’t be.

This time, when Lucifer tells you to guard the fridge at night from Beelzebub, you fail. Everyone is asleep. There wasn’t anything you could really expect them to do. It’s part of your internal debate on whether or not they even find evidence of your fate, or just fill out the paperwork to report you missing. Again. You wake up in your bed.

Satan offers you his pact. You know it’s reactionary… … You also know there’s no ‘right’ answer. If you accept, he’ll resent you for acting on his moment of weakness. If you reject, he’ll find your rebuff a personal affront to his importance. He’s angry beyond logic, beyond reason, but this time you try once more. There has to be a way out of this. In other tries, Satan is your friend. He shares his mystery books and his academic skills to try and help. It never works, but there has to be a way.

At least, like Asmo, his fury makes your end swift. Unlike Asmo, his rage doesn’t stop when your heart does. You imagine he goes on to destroy the rest of the house, the way you’re told he did when he was young. Again. You wake up in your bed.

Lucifer looms over you in the crypt, furious at your discovery with his brother and Luke. You can’t even blame him. It’s an invasion of privacy that you hadn’t even considered in context. Yet. You can’t bring yourself to really be upset, either. This only adds to his fury.

“Do you actually think I’m going to allow a lowly human that choice?! THAT YOU CAN HAVE WHATEVER IT IS YOU WANT?!”

No.

No, Lucifer, you never offer a choice.

Again.

Numbness is the only thing you can feel. There are no more unexpected turns. There are no more arguments that you’ve muttered to yourself for hours or days just to use them on the next try. Death is always the result, and it’s the only way that you can have a moment of peace. Otherwise it’s yelling or bickering or life threatening situations. Mammon tries, he always tries. You’ll forgive him every time for his greed, because it’s the only thing that’s never killed you.

You wake up in your bed.

It doesn’t matter if you roll over and sleep in or if you tear apart every piece of fabric that you can twist your fists into. It doesn’t matter. It always ends, it always begins again. It goes. Over and over. The only metric that you can measure by is how it will make you feel in that moment. Today, you are just… tired.

It’s old. It’s ancient. You’ve learned. Don’t be surprised by the way that Diavolo greets you. His butler is watching. Accept your place-... The butler is watching. Has he always looked so sad?

This time, when Lucifer tells you to guard the fridge that night from Beelzebub, you know that if you do not get out of bed, the wall will collapse in on you. It will be because Beel finds his pudding missing. Suffocation is the worst death, so you pull yourself from the warm blankets to head around the corner to at least find something swifter than asphyxiation.

The butler is there.

He has brought a feast.

It’s the first surprise you can remember feeling.

Beel eats what has been brought from the castle, and goes to bed. You stand, in disbelief, with your hands in hot water as you help wash the dishes. The Demon Prince’s servant is gone shortly after. He hasn’t said a word.

You slip back under your covers, the sheets still slightly warm from your earlier presence.

You wake up in your bed.

Again…

You suppose.

The new day feels different. Yet the same.

#obmswd #obey me shall we date #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me asmodeus #obey me satan #obey me belphegor #om lucifer #om mammon #om leviathan #om satan #om asmodeus #om beel #om belphegor

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starglitterz · 3 months

Text

serendipity. (vii)

─── chapter 7 ! ~ my bff thinks she’s sherlock holmes (…what?)

summary; when you, a waitress at the local coffee shop, are paired up with the new recruit scaramouche, you’re pretty sure both of you are going to get fired within a week. he’s just quit being a social media influencer and after being forced to work here to make ends meet, he’s ready to let everyone there know how much he hates it. the worst part? you can’t shake the feeling that you know him from somewhere. but as he slowly warms up to you, scaramouche realises that having a fresh start isn’t that bad after all, and perhaps the two of you meeting like this was pure serendipity.

a/n; hiii it's me again ! i'm so back >:) hope you missed serendipity bc i definitely did hehehe,,, also for further context on some details mentioned in this chapter, you should totally read cynosure 👀 (shameless self-promo LOL) anyways i hope u enjoy this chapter !!

warning(s); a lot of swearing, scuffed pics 😔

previous.┃masterlist.┃next.

please reblog w comments ! it helps a lot :)

private messages #1 !

phone call !

incoming call from kokomi at 1.30 p.m.

kokomi: hi, y/n! it's your lunch break now, right?

y/n: yep! i'm surprised you remember.

kokomi: hey! i just visited you the other day, my memory isn't that bad!!

y/n: yeah, yeah, whatever you say. anyways, what did you want to tell me? it sounded important.

kokomi: well… you know how we met childe and signora the other day, right?

y/n: yeah, i could barely believe they knew scara. i mean, this is the same guy who complains about the stray cats making a mess outside the cafe but still leaves leftovers for them. i wouldn't have expected him to have such famous friends.

kokomi: me too. and i actually wanted to talk to you about that.

y/n: why, what is it?

kokomi: i was curious about how scaramouche knew them, so i asked gorou to do a little digging.

y/n: what? kokomi, why would you do that?

kokomi: this guy shows up out of nowhere and ayaka hires him, and it turns out he has friends in such high places? it's suspicious!

y/n: what the fuck, kokomi? what's gotten into you? this is my colleague we're talking about. he's literally just some random guy ayaka hired, why do his friends matter? it's not like they're bad people!

kokomi: they might not be, but he is.

y/n: and what's that supposed to mean?

kokomi: check the link i just sent you.

y/n: fuck off, kokomi. i'm not dealing with this today. what's wrong with you?

kokomi: y/n, please just click it. i really think you need to see this.

you click on the link kokomi sent you - it's a youtube video titled 'the rise & fall of scaramouche'. you watch it in silence with kokomi still on the phone.

kokomi: you see? he was a drama youtuber and he got clout off of ruining other people's lives - he even got fired from genshin impact! when genshin threatened a lawsuit, he agreed to settle privately by deleting all his accounts. genshin must have paid to scrub all the traces of him they could from the internet too. i knew there was something fishy about him!

y/n: honestly, fuck you, kokomi.

kokomi: what?! why me?!

y/n: because who cares what his past was like? yeah, maybe he used to be a shitty person, and yeah he's still a pain in my ass, but he's changing. scara hasn't done anything bad since he started working here, i don't know why you're so against him.

kokomi: i just don't want you to get hurt, y/n. we all know you're still looking for that mystery guy from when you were younger, and this is the first time you've liked someone without mentioning that. i'm worried he's taking advantage of you.

y/n: get a grip, kokomi. i'm a grown adult, and you're not my mother. i can make my own choices and deal with the consequences.

kokomi: well forgive me for being worried about my FRIEND.

y/n: just… leave me alone. goodbye, kokomi.

call cut from y/n's end at 2.17 p.m.

private messages #2 !

twitter !

i'm curious, what do u guys think abt what kokomi did? are you on her side or y/n's side? i've personally experienced a lot of friends getting defensive whenever you point out anything wrong with their rs/bf so i guess this is partially inspired by that LOL

#[☕] ━━━ serendipity !#scaramouche x reader #kunikuzushi x reader #wanderer x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #scaramouche fluff #genshin smau #genshin impact smau #scaramouche smau #scaramouche

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vasito-de-leche · 4 months

Note

I've read all of your Reverse: 1999 related posts about a hundred times already and I'm still mesmerized! I love how your writing is fluid and meticulous — all of your analysis feels so precise that it might as well be official.

I was wondering if you could write a one-shot or headcanons about Forget Me Not with a human partner, whichever you believe to be more fitting; to extend what you said in his relationship headcanons. It's such a fascinating concept... at least I think so.

If you are not feeling up to it, I beg of you to at least write some of your thoughts about this. That would make me more than happy!

;R1999 FORGET ME NOT - Relationship Headcanons (2)

Compilation of headcanons about Forget Me Not's relationship with a human partner. A continuation of this post.

thank you so much for the kind words! I really love talking about blorbos so it means a lot to me that you like my work!! for this post, I went for HCs since I already wrote two FMN fics lolol

warning for abusive/toxic relationships!

Even though this is a continuation of the first relationship post, I feel it would be nice to bring back that one point I made about Forget Me Not's potential relationship with a human or mixed - just so everyone knows the themes this post will dwelve into!

The way I see it, all of Forget Me Not's relationships naturally lean towards unhealthy and dysfunctional dynamics, regardless of his partner's status. Being a pure-blooded arcanist only means you're simply trading a specific set of problems for different ones.

So when it comes to humans (note, humans, not mixed - that's a whole different can of worms) Forget Me Not is at his worst. After all, you represent everything that he sees wrong with this world, he's conflicted and torn between his hatred and his love.

He's a difficult character to grasp, but it's clear that he's fully dedicated to Manus Vindictae's goals, as they align with his own unique set of experiences and emotional baggage - this means that he would need a lot of work, effort and time to reconcile with many, many things such as being in a relationship. Especially one with a human. And yet, I don't think it's impossible for him to grow and change as a person.

On the subject of Forget Me Not's mentality towards a human partner.

I want to stress the fact that Forget Me Not is, above all, a cowardly man - it's easier for him to act behind the scenes and react accordingly than to be upfront and confrontational.

He's manipulative, but not controlling.

And one can argue that manipulation is just a different type of control, I agree! But I feel there's a bit more of nuance in this context. Compare characters like Arcana or Constantine to Forget Me Not - the former use manipulation as a means to an end, it's just one of the many tools they can employ to maintain their control over their respective groups. But they have other ways to remain on top. Forget Me Don't doesn't have anything else. When it comes to Forget Me Not, his manipulation comes across as the single thing he can do to win, or turn the tides to his favour, even if it means winning by the smallest of margins. Chances are he's already mentally prepared himself for the worst, anyway.

This originates from the fact that he's fully accepted the fact that he's inferior, that the universe will constantly try to undermine and step all over him, dealing the worst hand for him over and over - so for someone like him to win, he needs to outsmart and pull the strings from behind the scenes, to cheat at a system that could never allow him to get his way. Hence all the emphasis on his two-faced and contrasting themes (a snake in the grass, waiting to reveal itself. a docile and put together bartender, controlling the flow of the market, etc).

Why do I bring this up? Because when it comes to something as unfamiliar and daunting as falling in love with a human, Forget Me Not doesn't have it in him to even take the first step or decide how he even wants to approach the situation. He knows he's already at a disadvantage, and so he defaults to manipulating.

A lot of his behaviour is heavily dependant on your personality and the way you see his actions. Again, it's much easier for him to adapt like this than to confront why he's having so much problems admitting he might've caught feelings for you.

Basically, this is a lot of text to give some insight to why he manipulates you. It's not done out of the desire to control and dictate your every move, your every thought, let alone mold and/or break you into a more ideal partner - Forget Me Not can barely take responsibility for his own life, don't expect him to do that with yours. He does it because he's very sad, pathetic and desperate, that's about it!

His view on love is also an important thing to discuss in this specific point - in the first post I talked about how Forget Me Not is quick to catch feelings, he falls hard and fast. This still applies despite everything I just mentioned.

In the context of this relationship, love and hate simply go hand in hand to the point where he cannot tell one from the other.

He latches onto you like a parasite because you're the only person who seems to care for him or give him the time of day. As negative or harmful as his interactions with you could be, he's addicted to your presence.

If his partner is oblivious to his actions and ties with Manus Vindictae.

I decided it's easier for me to just tackle all the big possibilities, so here we go!

This is possibly the best outcome for Forget Me Not, a partner who is entirely oblivious to his unpleasant sides and morally corrupt actions. It doesn't even matter what your opinion on Manus Vindictae and their goals might be, because you don't know he's related to any of it! This way, he doesn't have to unpack any of those complex feelings and thoughts, nor think too hard on the fact that you're a human - who cares? You're not tainted with all that unnecessary knowledge.

And this would also allow him to continue living in denial, to indulge in a delusional fantasy in which he gets to be happy without putting any sort of work into being a better man. It's perfect for him!

The top priority is to keep you in the dark, and he'll do pretty much anything to make sure you never find out anything that could paint him in a negative light. If he could edit his own files - the ones that the Foundation had - to erase all traces of his past, then he would have no problem gaslighting, lying and playing all these mind games so that you only focus on how loving and doting he is as a partner. All while telling himself that he's simply protecting and shielding you from the horrors of the truth, that he doesn't want you to deal with the stress.

Forget Me Not could continue with this façade for years, presenting his best, most gentlemanly persona to you. It's easier for him to be vulnerable, to allow scarce moments of quiet, gentle intimacy, now that he has a way to excuse his actions.

I'd say that the only thing that could ruin it is, as usual, his own mind. He's the one who took all these precautions into maintaining the fantasy of a perfectly normal relationship, and yet he'll start spiraling into depression over that exact same thing. What if you were faking these feelings all along too? He made you fall in love with a fake version of himself because there's no way you'd love the real thing, etc etc.

Depending on how long you two might've been dating, I can see him choosing to disappear from your life without even saying goodbye. One day, he's just gone and he makes sure that you cannot find nor follow him. Alternatively, he can fall victim to the usual impulses and confess everything he's been hiding, to scare you away and see how you'd react to the truth.

If his partner is aware of his actions and ties to Manus Vindictae, while being very vocal against it.

This dynamic is the one that absolutely leans heavily into a very codependent, toxic mindset. The relationship itself makes no sense: you're a human, therefore someone who Forget Me Not resents and loathes. And he's a member of Manus Vindictae, a group you recognize as extremely dangerous and biased, rejecting all of their ideals.

And yet, you two stick together exactly because of that. Whether you have good intentions (wanting to fix him, save him, what have you) or not, it doesn't matter because Forget Me Not will instantly assume that you're exactly like him: you want someone who sees you for who you are.

Knowing that you openly disapprove of everything that he does and says is addictive, as he's spent a good chunk of his life concealing all of these aspects. Knowing that someone sees him in his totality, without turning away, without fear, it gets to his head pretty quickly. You're the only one who knows him and you continue to stand up to him, all while claiming that you care for him - Forget Me Not eats that shit up. It's a type of affection he's never been shown.

But the more you call him out on his bullshit, the more you attempt to help or challenge him, the more Forget Me Not will sink into Manus Vindictae's mindset - because he loves to see you put so much effort into a lost cause like him. His manipulation tactics are used to make you believe, just for a moment, that you can truly change him for the better. He pretends to breakdown, to reconsider his lifestyle, just so you don't feel disheartened and continue pushing him.

In the previous post, I said that Forget Me Not would get a little unhinged around his crush - this also applies here, but on a much bigger scale. Everything he does is a cry for attention, he wants you to witness everything and still come back to him every night.

Given how self-destructive Forget Me Not can be, he would never think of ending the relationship. It doesn't matter if you begin to pose a threat to Manus Vindictae or The Walden or whatever, he'd gladly give up everything he's worked for if it means having his life ruined by your hands.

If his partner is aware of his actions and ties to Manus Vindictae, but supports him wholeheartedly.

One would think that having a supportive partner who encourages Forget Me Not to never change and to commit as many crimes as he wants as long as he has fun, would be a dream come true - but he's much too paranoid to accept this reality, always expecting to have the rug pulled from under him the second his guard is down.

Now, when I say "support" I mean a lot of things! From truly siding with Manus Vindictae and hating humans as well, to simply being there for Forget Me Not no matter what - as usual, it's up to you!

Your never-ending kindness throws him in for a loop and he channels all that energy into figuring you out. What do you get out of this? Forget Me Not wants to know the catch, and he grows more and more vulnerable each time you show him that there's no catch - you just love him, that's it. All of him, scales and all. At his worst and at his best.

Confronting the antithesis of everything he's believed in is difficult, but overtime I think Forget Me Not would slowly reconsider things - if you, a human, coud love him so earnestly regardless of his constant hatred and bitterness towards the rest of your peers, well... Maybe he can learn a thing or two from you.

This dynamic is the most confusing, however, as Forget Me Not will be clinging onto you like his life depends on it only to keep you at arms' length, emotionally and physically, for the next few weeks. A lot of back and forth between those contrasting aspects, cold and hot, love and hate - but this is good because it's a sign that he's reconsidering things, that he can't just make up his mind with a half-assed excuse. Here, Forget Me Not lacks that conviction and confidence from the previous two points, he doesn't know how to get the upperhand when faced against such brutal, honest love.

His manipulation tactics come across as a half-hearted attempt to get you to slip up or to distract you from the fact that he's losing his edge. Forget Me Not relies on his distant and intimidating persona to operate, but none of that works on you, and so he attempts to keep up the façade to make himself look cruel and heartless.

I think this is when you get to see Forget Me Not at his most pathetic and saddest self - the way he's been lying to himself and to the world for years, how hard he tries to have power to make up for the fact that he has any substance as a person. How afraid he is of letting you in his life because by doing so, he'll have to step out of his bubble and face the consequences of his actions.

#reverse 1999 #reverse: 1999 #r1999 #reverse 1999 headcanons #reverse 1999 x reader #reverse 1999 forget me not #hmm not my best post i think #i feel like i keep repeating myself when talking about FMN

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weirdmarioenemies · 1 year

Photo

Name: Girl blob

Debut: Kirby’s Dream Land 2

This blob is a GIRL! You knew this, because the blob is pink and wears a bow and debuted in 1995. But who is this blob who is a girl? She must be pretty important to get official artwork, right? Not at all! She is not important and I just frankensteined some official art of other characters together to make this because she has none. But to truly talk about Girl blob, we must talk about someone VERY important! A VERY special guest!

Gooey!!! This is Gooey, and you likely already knew that. You love Gooey! Even if you did not already know Gooey, you love him now, because he is so wonderful! If you dislike Gooey, I am honestly a little afraid of you. Everyone is allowed to have their own opinion, but... it’s Gooey, you know? Anyway, Gooey also debuts in Dream Land 2! He does not do much here, but if the circumstances are right, he will surprise you by emerging from a burlap sack, and give you a bit of health if you collect him. Mostly, it is just lovely to have him here!

Even more rarely, though, Gooey will be replaced by Girl blob instead! You very well may need to actively seek out Girl blob in order to see her, and this is made wackier by the fact that finding her is a necessary 1% of the total game completion. She is so weirdly important! Who is she?!

Nintendo Power may be the source of her name, but it is really just a title.They don’t even refer to Gooey by his name here! Surely, though, someone must have thought of a name when designing her. Maybe her name could be Ooey. Ooey and Gooey!

Is she Gooey’s girlfriend? There is no way Gooey has a concept of romance. So is she his sister? Just a friend? Gooey would go on to have a major role in Dream Land 3, which heavily featured friendly characters to help in every stage, including female counterparts of established friends. Surely Girl blob would make a reappearance there!

Girl blob, won’t you play the piano for us with those magic fingers of yours, to set the mood?

Girl blob would not return. You see, Girl blob is not actually important. In a sense, Girl blob... is nothing.

This is Chao. And Chao is the REAL Girl blob! Chao is from the Japan-only game Yūyūki, and appeared in the Japanese Dream Land 2 as a cameo! She would rarely replace Gooey, and seeing her was necessary to 100% complete the game. But outside of Japan, players would have no idea who this character is! And if you don’t get the reference, it would be really weird to see a sudden human in a Kirby game, relegated to such a tiny role.

You know what’s easily understandable in nearly any context? A blob! Especially if the game already has a blob in it. And how do you differentiate your new blob? Make it a girl blob! And just like that, (celebrity chef catchphrase)! You got yourself an extremely simple design that fits in with no suspicion, ready for your international audience. Honestly, I think Girl blob is a better choice in the end! A blob fits the Kirby series much more naturally, and I just don’t really like the idea of a cameo character from another game being among the very limited number of allies in a game like this.

A cameo character appearing among DOZENS of friendly characters, including various other cameos, though, that is fine with me! And Chao would indeed return in Dream Land 3, with her friend Goku! I can’t help but imagine a world where the localizers were extremely paranoid about people not getting the reference, and brought Girl blob back for this stage, either establishing that she is friends with a monkey, or going the extra mile and ALSO reskinning Goku, creating yet another localization-exclusive character. After a boy blob and a girl blob, it would be time to represent the third genderl A Baby blob!

As far as the Kirby series as a whole goes, Girl blob basically does not exist, and I honestly wonder how common it is for Japanese fans to even know about her! She has never once been referenced, and is absolutely not canon. Unless...

Here is ChuChu, who officially debuted in Dream Land 3! While technically an octopus, she sure is a pink girl blob wearing a big bow. If you want, you could just interpret Girl blob as being her, making a little early appearance! It may be a headcanon, but it doesn’t contradict anything whatsoever, so why not! You could even interpret Girl Blob as someone who does contradict stuff if you want! I will not tell on you! Even if I did, though, the teacher would not care, unless they know about the 100% requirements of Kirby’s Dream Land 2, and if they do, then they are a Cool Teacher who would not get mad about it.

And now YOU know about the 100% requirements of Kirby’s Dream Land 2! That makes YOU cool! Congratulations! Hash tag girl blob

#girl blob #kirbys dream land 2 #kirby #kirby allies #funky friday #not mario #mod chikako

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arteastica · 6 months

Text

early in the morning, especially when it rains, and a little before noon. (14)

erwin x fem!reader

chapters: (1) | (2) | (3) | (4) | (5) | (6) | (7) | (8) | (9) | (10) | (11) | (12) | (13) | (15) | (16) | (17) | (18) | (19) | (20) | (21) | (22) | (23) | (24) | (25) | (26)

summary: I basically took Isayama’s work, forced it into a romance story, and made Erwin the love interest. Commander meets cadet and they fall in love (not instantly though)

notes: very berry canonverse (but some events were modified to fit my narrative), wasn’t intended to be this long, but it all is in the details right?

content warnings: smut where it fits (or where I make it fit. Also, reader is NOT underage, so likewise, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT, please.) slow burn (I really mean it. I’m not olympic diving into any form of smut for the first chapters.) no angst. I dislike angst. I would never. I could never. (Although angst can be somewhat subjective so take it with a grain of salt?)

wc: 3.6k

“He absolutely despises me.” Hitch took a sip from the generously sized mug you had brought for her when she had appeared at your front door earlier that afternoon. She then pulled your favorite childhood blanket over her knees before proceeding to wear an amused expression that, much to your confusion, completely contradicted the story she was telling. “I would love to say such hate is unfounded but…”

“What did you do?” You eyed her suspiciously, the corners of your mouth already curving up in preparation for the inevitable burst of laughter that always followed your friend’s stories.

“Well, you need some context first. This man. He is a creep. And by creep, I mean his soldier is always standing. Even when it doesn’t have a reason to.”

“Quite alarming indeed. Especially if he’s your superior.” Your nose crinkled in disgust. You couldn’t imagine how uncomfortable it would be to work under someone like that.

“Right? And also for the sake of context, I feel you should know that he has a god complex. He even told some of the girls that he has royal blood and that, get this, was supposed to be a prince! Ha! As if!” She rolled her eyes in disbelief before continuing with her story. “Anyway, he’s always following the girls around like a dog, not me though, because in case I haven’t made it clear by now, he doesn’t like me. Luckily.” She raised a finger to emphasize. “And if you are a boy, or me for that matter, you can be damn sure that he will find the most unpleasant and annoying activity and immediately task you with it.” She smirked and her face reminded you of a high schooler who was about to brag about their grades. “He already disliked me before the night of the ball, but after it, oh I made it to the top of his list!”

You nodded, leaning forward, eager to listen to what was coming next. You knew you were about to get to the part of the story where the Hitch in her name was going to show.

“So, everybody who had been working that night was on the verge of a mental collapse and couldn’t wait to go home and have it in private. We were waiting for the last guests to leave and when they finally did I went to him, my superior, who was talking with a wealthy looking grandpa and, what I hope was his daughter, to inform him that all the guests had left.” Hitch decided to take a sip of her chocolate, and you couldn’t help but feel that it had been solely with the intent of creating anticipation, and not exactly because she was thirsty, but you had to admit it was working. “He saw I was exhausted, so naturally, like any good boss would, he told me I could go home…” She brought the mug to her lips again, but you widened your eyes at her, so she decided to complete her idea instead. “After I made sure the toilets were spotless.” You looked back at her with a pained expression that completely contrasted the proud grin that, for some reason, was crossing your friend’s face. “The stupid smirk he had on his stupid face told me he was expecting me to complain, but let me tell you, he couldn’t have been more wrong. Because instead, I accepted my fate with grace and walked away after leaving some equally graceful words behind: Yes, your hardness.”

You opened your mouth wide, stomach already tensing up in anticipation of the good laugh you were about to get, but before that, you needed to ask one more question. And, as if guessing what it would be, Hitch nodded. “Yes, the shape was clearly visible through his pants. You had to see his face. It was an unforgettable evening, indeed.”

A pleasant warmth filled your chest the same way your laughter filled the room. You looked at Hitch through teary eyes and realized how much you had missed your friend. You couldn’t complain about life back at the base, but you really craved moments like this, with her, moments that had been part of your night routine during the three full years you had spent as roommates.

After the laughter died down and you were able to speak again, you asked: “But like, how come you are still alive after that?”

“Well, as you may imagine, things would most definitely get terrible after such an incident. But I can’t confirm that, because I didn’t stay to find out. The next morning, I went to Commander Nile and begged him to transfer me to another unit.”

“And? Did he?”

“Yes, but I had to write like ten formal requests and practically get down on my knees before he even started to consider it. Because the thing about Commander Nile is that he is also insufferable, only that he does it in a different way.” As you listened to Hitch complain about her superiors, your heart started to take distracting leaps inside your chest, and you did your best to fight back the smile that threatened to spread across your face at the thought of your own boss and how good he was to you. He was good. So good.

“He’s moody and annoying, but at least he’s respectful, professional, and most importantly, isn’t trying to sleep with everyone. Oh my goodness. Not me complimenting Commander Nile.” She crinkled her nose in disgust. “Anyway, that doesn’t change the fact that he’s moody all the time, and permanently has the face of someone who hasn’t been able to poop in years. At first, I thought it was because he wasn’t getting any, but then!” She raised her voice, suddenly and unnecessarily, and in an equally dramatic fashion, raised both index fingers as if asking you to pay close attention. “The other day his wife walked into the headquarters, and imagine the way my jaw dropped to the literal pits of hell when I saw her.” You shuffled in your end of the couch, making yourself more comfortable. Other people’s business was your favorite literary genre. “Not only because Commander Nile pulled a one-eighty, completely transforming himself from insufferable boss to soft-eyed husband in a matter of seconds, but also because his wife is the complete opposite of him.” Her eyes widened, and even though you weren’t too fond of the annoying cliffhangers she deliberately sprinkled here and there in between sentences, you loved how expressive she was. It was all part of her incredible storyteller skills.

“What does she look like?” You sipped from your mug. The chocolate, nice and warm, and just as sweet as you liked it.

“A goddess. Gorgeous doesn’t even begin to describe her. Beautiful falls short. Stunning doesn’t do her justice.” She explained, very dramatically. “Okay maybe I’m exaggerating but she does look good. Lush strands of gold falling to her hips, swaying synchronously with them as she gracefully makes her way to wherever she has decided to charm with her presence next. It’s important for you to know that she doesn’t just walk, she makes her way gracefully.” You knew what she meant, you had come across that type of people before. The holders of the type of grace that couldn’t be learned, borrowed, or created from experience. And you suddenly remembered the title of a book the commander kept in his office: ‘Walking artwork. Talking poetry.’ The name had stuck with you for some reason, maybe you would borrow it from him one of these days. “Eyes bluer than the summer sky, porcelain skin that reminded me of that expensive doll I spent half my childhood begging my mom to buy for me.”

“Are you sure you aren’t in love with your boss’ wife?” You joked, as a part of you wondered what it would feel like to be so attractive and unforgettable that people would spend so many words attempting to describe your beauty.

“Actually, I’m not sure. Because on top of elegance and good looks, she also has manners and good personality. She smiled and greeted everyone she passed by. And it wasn’t one of those fake smiles you put on just to show your perfect teeth, you know. She’s genuinely charming, and most importantly, smells good.”

“You’re right. Smelling good is what it all comes down to in the end.” You agreed, smiling to yourself at the thought of a very distinctive, musky scent you had grown quite addicted to.

“I don’t understand how someone like her ended up marrying my boss. She could have married anyone she wanted. In fact…” She smirked in a way that successfully reminded you of good old classroom gossip. “Did you know she was this close to marrying your boss?”

You held the mug against your lips, fingers completely freezing around the warm ceramic, unresponsive hands forcing you to taste the liquid that had strangely turned bitter all of a sudden. Sour, even.

“Oh yeah, I heard it from my senior.” Hitch explained, completely misreading your reaction, wearing an amused expression, as she continued to provide gossip that, at any other point in your life, you would have found juicy. She had no way of knowing the silent commotion that piece of information was actually stirring inside you. “Apparently, they used to be close friends back in the day, all three of them. Both, your boss and mine, were completely smitten with her.” You realized your chocolate had gotten unpleasantly tepid as well. “But she ended up choosing mine instead. I wonder if she regrets her decision. Because I would sure as hell do. I mean look at your boss. He’s aging like fine wine, and then look at mine.” She made a face that, under any other circumstances, you would have found funny, maybe next time, when your heart stopped acting like a lemon, a very bitter one, being squeezed for lemonade, and your chocolate, like you hadn’t sweetened it yourself. “But maybe I’m biased, since it’s mandatory for everyone to hate their boss. You know, rule of thumb, law of nature, common sense. Which reminds me, how’s life working under the infamous Erwin Smith? Is he as insufferable as your average boss or worse?” She asked, bringing the mug to her lips.

“We slept together.”

“Sorry?” You didn’t know if she was double-checking because she didn’t believe her ears, or because she didn’t actually hear you, as you had purposely lowered your voice in fear your mother would catch this part of the conversation.

“I slept with the commander.”

“You fucked Erwin Smith?!” She shouted, effectively choking on the sip she had just taken.

“Yes, but please don’t announce it to everyone. I don’t want Mother to think that’s the only thing I’m doing there. Even though I wish it was.” You added, unable to stop your teeth from biting your bottom lip, as the rest of your body reminisced about that night.

“Okay but, I knew it!” She then said, now whispering.

“What do you mean you knew it?”

“I saw the way you look at him. At the ball. I instantly knew those eyes were looking for, you know, a little bedroom activity.” She glanced at the ceiling as if it was a cabinet filled with her memories, and the wood beams, files she was passing a finger over. “And then I saw you guys leaving together, and I thought to myself: there is no way he isn’t going to rip that dress off her later.”

“I really wanted him to. But nothing happened that night.”

“But then when did it happen? And how? And wait, how old is he anyway? Isn’t he like 15 years older than you?”

“Not that much. I mean, I don’t really know, but-”

“Yeah, it doesn’t matter. I’m just asking because, you know the difference in experience brings some very interesting topics to the table… like… tell me, was he any good? Goodness, that face says it all.” She leaned in closer, incredulity making her jaw hang slightly open, and curiosity, her eyes squint tightly.

“The commander’s performance was more than satisfying.” You said in a rather pretentious tone that matched the cheeky smile you were now wearing.

“thE cOmmAndEr’s pErFoRmAnCe wAs mOre thAn saTyiSfying.” Hitch threatened to throw your own pillow at you. “What the fuck does that even mean? I’ll need you to elaborate further, miss. I’m not going back home until you answer all my questions, and I have lots.”

“It means it was fucking perfect. He’s- He’s so-”

“Big?”

You nodded, teeth sinking into your bottom lip.

“It wouldn’t make sense any other way, would it? After all, it takes massive balls to lead a suicide squad. And it takes a rough, unforgiving, sturdy, aggressive, and unbelievably tough man to carry them.” She concluded, lips curving up in a complicit smirk.

“But he’s, you know, so gentle. And warm. And I- I just-” You realized you didn’t know how the sentence was supposed to end. It was all so hazy and misty inside your head, but in a dazzling way. The haze was silky, hypnotizing even, and the mist smelled good. So good. It smelled like-

“Shit…”

“No! Wait, what?” Hitch’s sudden, and rather random, intervention cut through the haze, dissipating it.

“Do you love him?” She asked, now leaning backwards as if trying to gain a new perspective, fingers stroking her chin as if trying to come to a conclusion. She reminded you of a critic trying to decide what to think about a painting.

“What? I-” You realized the dazzling haze was now turning into a confusing fog.

“You love him.” Hitch’s words lacked the intonation of a question and the vacillation of a suggestion. They sounded like a conclusion. A confident one.

“Wait wait wait wait- That’s a big word. Isn’t it… isn’t it a little too early to be throwing it out there?” When the question left your mouth, you realized it had been directed more at you than at Hitch.

“I don’t know, you tell me. I don’t have much to work with, woman. You have barely provided me with any information. I literally have no context at all, other than he has a massive dick, and, apparently, knows how to use it.” You snorted, mostly out of courtesy to your friend. It was the type of laugh brains automatically play for the sake of avoiding awkwardness, when they are busy processing something else. “I can only tell you what I think based on what I see now, in front of me, sparkling in your eyes, seeping through that huge ass smile you’re wearing.” She gestured with her hand and tried to mirror your expression, as if to make you understand what she was seeing. “What I see escaping through the gaps left by the words you are purposely omitting from your sentences. The parts that, for whatever reason, you are not telling me.” You made a pained expression, starting to feel slightly under fire. “And based on all the aforementioned, I think it’s safe to say my friend is deep into her boss’ shit. Just as deep as he has been burying himself into her all these nights.”

You rolled your eyes. “It has only happened once.”

“All the more telling! It means it only took one taste of his dick to fall in love with him.”

“I didn’t even do that. It was not like… that, you know. I told you he was very sweet.” One thing was to think about it, but to reminisce out loud about him and all the things he had made you feel that night, came with a whole different set of sensations. You were sure your stomach would burst anytime now, simultaneously freeing all the butterflies along with all your secrets. The ones you seemed to be keeping, even from yourself.

Hitch sighed and glanced at the ceiling for the hundredth time that afternoon. It looked as if the more you spoke, the more you proved her point. “Sweet, gentle, warm… Woman, in my experience, when you start talking about a man and his dick like that, you’re already far gone.”

“Am I?” You tried to read yourself, but in doing so, discovered that there was a reason our eyes could see virtually anything but our own face. Before this conversation, it was attraction. You had never questioned the label you had attached to the feelings you had for the commander. But now, now the question was poking at you, and there was something that made you feel uncomfortable and uneasy about changing such label. It was the kind of anxiety you imagined would be felt when walking close to the edge of something, so close to falling, not knowing how high the fall would be, or how long it would last.

You heard a sigh coming out of your mouth. “Hitch. I honestly don’t know. What am I even expecting? Doing? What’s going to happen now?”

“Hey, hey, hey.” She lowered her head so she could be eye level with you, because yours was now staring down at your own lap, admitting some sort of defeat. “It’s okay if you don’t know what you’re feeling. Heck, it’s okay if you love him, as well, there’s no fault in that. He’s not married. Loving him is not punishable by law. And it’s not a mistake either.” She placed a reassuring hand on your knee. “You can’t control any of that shit anyway. It all just happens. Inside, you know. And, as for what’s going to happen? You just keep riding him like a stallion, and sucking him like a good old popsicle.”

You snorted, either your friend’s words or her warm, supportive hand lightening some of the tightness trapped inside your chest. “I haven’t done any of that yet.”

“Oh, I bet you must be counting down the days to go back to work then, unlike the rest of us who are not having heated, toe-curling desk sex with our boss.”

That’s what you thought you would spend the winter holidays doing: happily reminiscing about such heated toe-curling sex until you were able to have it again. But you should have known better than expecting that from your busy, overthinking mind. As you lied in your childhood bed that night, hours after Hitch had left, you tried to think about the commander, and whether he had enjoyed the little present you had prepared for him.

“I left something for you downstairs. It’s sweet and tangy. Can you guess what it is? Make sure to eat it while it’s still fresh. Happy holidays, Commander.” You remember smiling as you placed the small piece of paper beside the game of chess that have been left unfinished the previous night. You remember smiling as you tiptoed out of his room, stealing one last glance at his sleeping figure, before picking up your clothes and closing the door behind you.

But those warm memories must have frozen under the snowy winter night you were staring into, because instead, you found yourself reminiscing about the conversation from earlier. Did you love him? You decided you didn’t want to answer that now. You didn’t want to think about that now. Instead, you wanted to think about him. So you tried again.

What was he doing now? Probably sitting at his desk, working under the candle light. Had he eaten dinner? Probably not. It was so in character for him to skip it, to completely forget about it. If it wasn’t for you bringing it to his office, he would starve. Hitch would say you were acting like his wife. And for a moment you smiled at the thought. For a moment, until you felt a sudden sting in your chest.

So the Commander had been in love before. In love with Commander Nile’s wife. Even though it had probably been years since then, and you had no right to feel uncomfortable about his ex-lovers, you couldn’t help whatever emotions were trapped inside you from uncomfortably poking at your chest, demanding to be let out.

You couldn’t help your chest from stinging at the thought of him letting his hand get held by someone else’s, and his mind get filled with someone else’s smile, and his bed infused with someone else’s scent, and his heart cherished by someone else’s… love. You turned to the other side, and buried your face in your pillow, as if the cotton fibers could provide the oxygen your lungs needed. Did he get close to love with her? If so, how close? Did he miss her? How close had they been? How intimate had they gotten? Did he recall moments he spent with her? Did he sometimes write about them in those journals? In the journals, were there entries dedicated to her, to his feelings for her? Did he sometimes wonder what could’ve been? How badly had he hurt when she chose his friend instead? Was he still hurting?

You hated to be this type of person. But you couldn’t help it. It was all you knew. You pulled the covers all the way up to your chin, feeling colder than the back side of the pillow your face was still buried into. You wanted to fall asleep, either that or to go back to a point in time where this information was unknown to you. But there was something in the air. Something bitter and sour. And it was finding its way inside your lungs. Filling every inch of your body.

Why did you feel as if you had lost a race? As if you had come in second in a competition, a very important one. You didn’t want to know about all the women who had passed through his life, you didn’t want to because thinking about them made you ask a certain question you wanted to avoid answering: Were you also just passing through?

next chapter

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