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illuminati9exists · 8 months

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In which, Genie loses his Aladdin

CHAPTER 1: Thanks-freaking-Newton for small mercies.

At Avengers tower,

"I can't believe they called us for 'this'"

"He had flamethrower robots army and a questionable fashion sense. What more do you need in a supervillain for him to be worthy of your time Tony?"

"I am a busy man cap, I can't be present for every wannabe overlords or grieving fathers."

"That's the reason why it was unethical."

"What reason birdbrain?"

"He was grieving Tony. His son is in ICU due to their carelessness. Of course, I am not saying what he did was right. But …. still you should've gone easy on him."

"In ICU birdbrain. Still alive. That doesn't mean he can just attack NYPD."

"What would you know Tony! It is not like you have lost a kid "

"Shut up Clint. Tony is right. Losing someone is not a valid reason for massacre. If not stopped at a right time situation could have been out of control and innocents would have lost lives." Natasha said elbowing Clint. But in the middle of this whole interaction Natasha noticed Tony closing off. Now that she noticed he have been a little off since morning, "Tony, you okay?"

" Yep, nothing to worry here. As barton said it is not like, I would know what losing a child feels like." He said with a bright smile which didn't reached his eyes. Natasha almost didn't catched the last part. She also noticed how instead of any cheesy nickname he used Barton this time.

Before she could ask Tony again Thor called them for attention, "Aye, don't fight brothers. Now that the battle have finished, it's time to call for feast. I am very much in need of pizza right now."

"I have already ordered takeout guys. Order will be here in 10 minutes." Steve said getting off from call.

"I am not hungry. Also I have an important meeting to attend tomorrow on other side of country. See you later kids."

Tony said getting in elevator before anyone could say anything. Natasha got up to call after him worried about his strange behaviour earlier but Steve said that he remembers Jarvis reminding Tony about this meeting in morning. Natasha didn't thought much about it and signed it in her spybrain to investigate later. Well out of boredom actually if not for anything else. Tony always got upto some strange behaviour. Every now and then. ___________________________

Avengers minus Tony gather around sofa for their weekly movie night. Clint was surfing through Tony's CDs, yes CDs which they stole from his old mansion when they went their to get Steve's stuff last week. Tony having CDs was a new kind of surprise in itself. Clint was waiting for right moment to tease tony over it, but first he have to go through them. They didn't ask Jarvis to play some random movie because they wanted to go through Tony's eccentric movie collection which unfortunately looks like old couple's cringey romance movies stuff "Wow, considering Starks I thought their will be more good stuff than some old cliche movies. "

"Mind to share what kind of good stuff Clint." Bruce said settling comfortably on his couch.

"You know illegal never released movies, conspiracy movies, national secrets that kind of stuff. Ohh oh I think I found it 'In which Genie finds his Aladdin' ah this is not a Disney movie. I have seen all Disney movies."

Clint said pulling out blue covered CD from box. It was a plain cd in plastic bag with only name printed on it.

"Just get it over with Clint. You have been going through that for like an hour." Natasha said getting bored. Steve also nodded.

Clint grunted and started the movie.

On screen

nothing started for a while.

"I think CD is......."

Jar you are always listening to me, genie and everything else also. Right.

Just when Clint was about to get up to switch CDs a little girl's and a robotic voice which sounds like Jarvis's voice started to come from TV but screen was still blank.

Not particularly but yes Divya.

Then do you have all recordings of me ,Genie, Pep, Humpty, Sourface and dum-e, u also butterfingers and everyone we meet everyday.

Of course Divya.

Cool then can you do something for me.

Of course Divya whatever you wish , if it is well within my abilities.

It sounds like second part was added as more of an afterthought by robotic voice.

Do this, make a movie of my life using all recordings from the day dada found me and everything just like a real movie, will you ? And don't tell genie or anyone until you finish it. Ok.

Of course Divya. But can I ask why are you asking me to do this in secret.

You will know soon J, soon.

"The robo guy sounds like our residental genius's AI butler Jarvis doesn't he." comments Clint and gets four chorus of yes from group.

With this screen lights up with cartoonish animation showing golden room in a way which looks like common room and the outline of room is like a kettle on blue background of screen. Their is table at centre surrounded by two sofas. Two robotic hands like structures moving around the table in a whir and beeping time to time. Their is a cardboard box sitting on table. For some reason robots are surrounding it and whirring around it. This looks like very old animation movie from times of dinosaur, and modern at the same time. Clint already likes it. And from the looks of it others too. Especially Steve and Thor.

A door opens at the side of room as much you can call kettle a room. Inside steps a man in disheveled suit, upside two buttons of shirt undone, wobbling on feet, scowl plastered on face. He strangely looks like Tony, especially with that signature goatee of his.

"Jarvis, you better have a good reason to pull me from my party.

He starts with his march towards sofas.

And what are dum-e and u doing up here out of workshop."

"Sir exactly 47 minutes 36 seconds ago an intruder appeared in living room with a cardboard box and asked for you. That was the first time I tried to reach you but my signals were jammed. I told him you were outside and busy at the moment. He left a message with me to play when you arrive and also a written message on table below cardboard box with cardboard box sir. Since I wasn't able to reach you or security I let dum-e and u out for stalling the intruder. You should first open the box sir, my scans are showing presence of life inside. "

"What the fuck J, play message on my mobile."

Camera zooms in on Tony. He pulls the box towards him. Dum-e and u crowded beside him to take a look. Tony looks at Dum-e ready with fire extinguisher in his hands and rolls his eyes. He pulls a single sellotape taped on cardboard box making cross with cardboards vertical cut which looks like packaging done by some noob. While doing so Tony mutters to himself about 'some kind of poisonous animals or enlarged viruses'. Last part makes Bruce crack a smile. Enlarged viruses will be terror for society and menace for Avengers if cracked by some supervillain.

"What the fuck. What the fuck.WHAT THE FUCK JARVIS."

Tony shouts as he tries to move away from box when he also notices dum-e raising fire extinguisher to attack the creature inside box when Tony suddenly changes his direction mid-movement and gets in between dum-e the fire ranger and the little creature in the box. And gets doused with the foam all over his head and back while not even a single drop falls on box or inside it. 'Thanks-freaking-Newton for small mercies' Tony mutters while looking at box, expression cross between somewhere terror and glare which intensifies to 100 times when a sound comes from the box which very very sounds like a giggle ?

_____________________________________________________________

So what do you think is the creature inside the box that Tony went against Newton himself to save from the foam bath.🧐🤫

#mcu fanfiction #Avengers as a team #Domestic avengers #Tony stark has a heart #Tony stark feels #Fire ranger dum-e #Resident AI Jarvis #Post avengers 2012 #Tony stark is a mess #Clint is a little shit #Movie trope #Avengers fanfiction #Natasha is good bro #Aladdin and genie trope

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dylan-hart · 1 year

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peter: do you need help, mister loki sir?

loki: no thanks. i’m god.

(y/n): …

avengers: …

tony: (y/n)…don’t…

(y/n): …

steve: (y/n)…

(y/n): hi god, i’M DAD—

clint: [flips table] jUST ONE DAY OF PEACE IS ALL I ASK FOR—

yelena: [cackles in the distance]

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lynlee494 · 5 months

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I love this little shit so much. One of my favorite lines in the MCU:

Clint Barton: [Draws his bow and points it at Pietro's back] "Nobody would know. Nobody. The last I saw him, Ultron was sitting on him. Uh... yeah, he'll be missed. That quick little bastard. I miss him already..." [Jogs after them]

#Clint Barton #Hawkeye #Age of Ulton #Clint Baron is a little shit #clint barton is a badass #hawkguy

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not-the-blue · 1 year

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world's greatest archer

#my art #clint barton #hawkeye #marvel #i missed drawing him!! he's my little guy #uh so i wanted to make a whole post about this but i guess i'll just ramble in the tags #my new year's resolution in 2022 was to draw every day #i think all in all i missed about a week's worth of days #which i knew was gonna happen and was ready to forgive myself for #when i met david aja at thought bubble i told him he's the reason i'm studying art now but that's only partly true #if there wasn't a whole fan community around his work i don't think i would've been this motivated to be better #i've said it before and i'll say it again. each and every one of you is an inspiration #idk what i want to say here #god i miss being a part of an honest to god fan community. like talking to people on tumblr and shit #could that be another 2023 resolution? talk to people on tumblr? be cringe?#anyway. i'm still planning on getting better at art so watch out for that #in the meantime here's a clint

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professorsta · 1 year

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Spirited was heartfelt in a way I didn't expect. I've read A Christmas Carol before and seen the many adaptions as I'm sure all of you have too, but I loved how this one tied in the Old Scrooge with the New One. Clint meeting Present who is so similar to him yet so different, for the fact that the whole time Present seems as if he's looking at a horrific fun house mirror, while Clint is meeting maybe the only person who has deeply and intrinsically connected with him. Clint learns that Present knows what its like to be a cruel controlling money hungry leach who desperately fears that when he tries to make up for it, no matter what he does, he won't ever be able to rectify the pain he caused. And yet? Present still tries, and inevitably is able to convince Clint to as well. Wasn't really a Christmas Carol beats wise but it was a realistic answer to the question; what happens after the story is over? Does the mean old Scrooge become a good man indefinitely? Or does he realize that it's not about desperately grasping at the idea of what is good, but instead about embracing and excepting his past, present, and future so he can move forward with honesty and without shame? Realizing he had to choose everyday to not say Good Afternoon, even though he knows he'll fail sometimes, and try to give grace when he does. It's the age old question; Can a bad person be a better one if they try? The movies answers, yes, everyone can do a little good.

#spirited #idk blah blah something about ppl in their 40-60s #realizing they can completely change their life and enter a new era #old dogs can learn new tricks!#the movie said that anyone can bring a little less shit into the world #we All are capable of being good or decent or kind everyday #it's realistic cus the film knows it's talking about humans #who are flawed and can get upset and aren't always the politest creatures #and the films understand that it's not about being good #but instead understanding that despite how much you may suck and fuck up #you're still capable of creating great lengths of decency and kindness in the world #it's fucking up and fucking up and fucking up over and over again #but still wanting to do better #to Be better #love it reminds me of the Good Place #spirited 2022 #ryan reynolds #will ferrell #Clint Briggs x present #sorry they are just too cute not to #bros for life #a christmas carol #Charles dickens

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magpie-sherlock · 29 days

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Marvel Characters as Dumb Shit I've Done

Tony Stark - went to church, came home exhausted, took a nap, woke up and withing 30 minutes managed to fight my mom over who did the dishes (I won. I got there first I called dish duty back off-)

Steve Rogers - hurt my shoulder doing army crawls and then did 50 pushups

Thor - regularly eating raw cookie dough

Loki - I failed a captcha

Clint Barton - caffeine addiction

Bruce Banner - I offered to stab a hole in a cup for my friend (we were doing the egg drop experiment) so she wouldn't get hurt. ended up cutting my finger

Natasha Romanoff - driving, exclaimed in Russian, realised I was the only one in the car who knew russian

Yelena Belova - might've broken my foot in dance class, I don't know bc I never got it looked at :)

Kate Bishop - I tried to climb something and ended up slamming my ribcage into a concrete cylinder. had the audacity to ask why my ribs hurt the next day

Peter Parker - got math problems wrong bc I have synesthesia (numbers have colours)

Bucky Barnes - one time during karate we had an obstacle course and I was so tired that I got my flying side kick stuck on top of the punching bag and fell over

Sam Wilson - was tired and looking for an icepack. decided to check the pantry

Carol Danvers - "I'm a girl, and I'm cold. therefore, I'm the embodiment of the cold girl aesthetic"

#'lock is a little stupid sometimes #tony stark #steve rogers #bucky barnes #Thor #Loki #Clint Barton #natasha romanoff #yelena belova #kate bishop #peter parker #sam wilson #carol danvers #marvel #avengers #dumb shit

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hawkzeyes · 9 months

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They should hang out all the time

Avengers Millennium Infinite Comic #2 (2015)

#I never get tired of Clint and Peter together #they’re hilarious #sarcastic little shits #Clint beloved #Clint Barton #Hawkeye #Peter Parker #spider-man #marvel #marvel comics

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pandagirl45 · 21 days

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Clint: you and bucky are tucky or bony

Tony:...why did you have to say that

Bucky: then you and Sam are sint or cam

Clint: *critical damage*

Steve: *thinks stodey or rove* I like rove

Everyone: *stares*

Bruce: thruce, sounds like truce is what our enemies should think about next time

Tony: Jesus brucie

Thor: my love is sleepy but I do like thruce. Bhor sounds to similar to another family member

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louiemutton · 1 year

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shout-out to the comic where clint pays a waitress to spit in his drink when steve, paragon of american values, is standing right next to him

more of that please

#clint barton #insufferable little shit i love you #i think this was blindspot but i don't remember 100%#misha tag

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crisispider · 7 months

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@oceansfirst: Clint vc; I'd marry him obviously

HE'S WAITING.

#oceansfirst #[ ◉¯] ✧˖° → A Mimic can be anything. ANYTHING. [ Shit Posting ]#[ ◉¯] ✧˖° ♡ → There’s a little bit of loser in us. Being a loser with you doesn’t suck [ Clint || Oceansfirst ]

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illuminati9exists · 8 months

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In which Genie loses his Aladdin

Summary:

People think Tony lost his heart in Afghanistan. What they missed is that he lost his heart two years before Afghanistan when he lost the most important person in his life his little aladdin . The day he lost her was also the day he lost his heart along with his will to live . Afghanistan actually helped him find a purpose to live. To be alive. To help. IRONMAN was the second best thing that ever happened to him. He had already lost the best thing in his life.

_____________________________________________________________

After an offhand comment from barton tony leaves for his meeting to other side of country. Avengers minus tony gather around for their weekly movie night. Clint finds a new nonexistent movie in Tony's stolen stash which with its title sounds like a disney movie.

'In which Genie finds his Aladdin' sounds like a never released regular Disney movie.

Avengers are going to find a lot about their resident genius playboy by end of this night. Will they be able to come to terms with it or will they question it.

Avengers fanfic I am writing. Stay tuned in for chapters if you like the general idea of what story is implying here 😉. This is my first fic so please point out my mistakes grammatical , proverbial or whatever you guys find. I hope you like it.

#mcu fanfiction #Avengers fanfic #Tony stark feels #Natasha is good bro #Aladdin and genie trope #clint is a little shit #Tony Stark's daughter #Tony stark is a mess #In which Genie loses his Aladdin

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woulddieforloki · 1 year

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brb thinking about how weird Thor is to the Avengers. like he's a god, and then ofc he's their friend but also??? he's a god??? and they all get along really great in The Avengers (after they sort their shit out ofc) but then Thor just. disappears. and the Avengers are fine with that because he's a god and he has other places to be and this was just a one-time thing and how cool is it to say they got to fight a battle with a god? it's a memory they're cherish forev--is that Thor in London? 🤨 and then he comes back again to find Loki's scepter and they're like "yeah, this is just another mission for him, that's it," but then they all start to like Thor and Thor starts to like them and it's such a great friendship! and then they find the scepter and he peaces the fuck out again. maybe it wasn't such a great friendship. but that's okay. he's a god. he has other places to be right now. he was just trying to find the scepter, and now that that's done, he doesn't need to be here. they were just work friends and that's fine. it's disappointing that they're never gonna see him again--what the fuck is that crash-landing into the Wakandan battlefield? hot diggity dog, it's static electricity man himself. like the other five Avengers are all friends and they're all humans and they all pretty much know how to find each other if they need them and then there's fucking Thor who always just kinda appears when he needs their help and then he disappears again for years on end and there's always that slight chance he'll come back again but also not really (but also he might?)

#like imagine being Clint or Bruce post-Endgame knowing that Thor went off with the Guardians and he's back in space and he's got shit to #do and they'll probably never see him again unless they actually go to New Asgard and he just happens to be back but he's not just gonna #show up in front of them. like they were just work friends and now the work is over #but there's always that small little itty bitty chance that he's gonna come back and be like 'hey team let's do a thing!"#and then disappear for another few years whenever it's done #idk i just feel like he's such a mystery to them because he does have that double life of doing shit in space that they can't comprehend #thor

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carcrash429 · 11 months

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CACKLING at this series of Onion articles by @reine-du-sourire omg

#hawkeye #clint you're such a little shit lmaoooo

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omgeto · 8 months

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☆ THREE ISN'T A CROWD — SATORU & SUGURU

summary: your best friends, geto and gojo, rail you in a hotel bed. that's it. that's the fic.

cw: afab!reader, finger fucking, unprotected sex, double penetration so mdni !!

an: I wrote this whilst drinking a big fat cup of tea, and eating a packet of stale biscuits. so no angsty romance today, just two besties appreciating you in their own special way. it is 5:40 am so I did not proof read this so ignore mistakes pls <;33

gojo and geto were mischievous on their own accords – but when together it was worse. so when you were sandwiched between them in your hotel room, since of course there was only one bed, you weren’t even surprised.

“this is not fair,” gojo mumbles, his lips curling into a mock pout as he exhales a huff of air.

“oh don’t be a baby,” geto scolds, with a chuckle . gojo and geto bickered over who got to sleep where and after a lengthy game of rock paper scissors – it was gojo who had to face the wall. “you’ll get your turn soon.” you could feel geto’s breath on your neck as he was placed firmly behind you, his hands stuffed in your pants as his fingers caress your wet slit.

“don’t be mean sugu,” you chastise, your hand trailing up gojo's back to his shoulder to turn him over, facing you, “there’s enough of me to go around.” gojo is needy, pressing a feverish kiss to your lips, wanting to taste all of you.

gojo didn’t think his plan would work, when he proposed it to geto he was swift in his agreement — the only thing left was you. their pretty little best friend. who they've both wanted a piece of, for years.

now that he’s got you, he couldn’t contain himself – if he wasn’t careful he knew he’d be cumming in his boxers too soon. he latches onto your neck sucking and biting his hands grabbing onto your tits, tweaking and pinching at your nipples.

“you’re hogging her,” gojo complains, as his fingers slip down to your cunt. geto adds another finger spreading your lips wider as gojo’s forces his fingers into you. they were both rubbing your pussy. your wetness making it easier for gojo to piston in and out of you and for geto to stroke and flick against your clit with his thumb.

“g-guys fuck, you’re both too much,” you whimper, your hips thrusting towards gojo, slotting onto his fingers further. geto’s slides his tongue from your collar bone to your jaw before his hand grips onto it, his lips remain at your ears as he whispers, “you gonna cum for us baby?”

“yeah c’mon make a mess for us,” gojo adds, continuing his pattern of rubs and pushes in your pussy, its almost as if he’s committed the rhythm to memory. he was effortless in working with geto, both aiding each other to help you reach your climax. geto pinches your clint, hard, and you spray both of their hands with your cum – squirting all over them.

gojo’s eyes widen at the sight, “shit, i didn’t know you could do that” he exclaims, taking his fingers out of you, examining them as they glisten with your juices, “suguru, did she know that she could do that?”

geto ignores him, rolling his eyes at his friends over excitement, “wanna be wowed even further, taste her, i bet she’s sweet.” before gojo could comply you take his fingers in your mouth, practically choking on them as you suck off all your juices.

“you taste good don’t you?” geto muses, pressing a kiss to your neck, you nod dumbly as you lock eyes with gojo still nibbling on his fingers.

“hey suguru, can we try something with her,” gojo proposes, and geto nods, prompting him to continue, “i wanna stuff her. i want both of us to stuff her.

“we can make that happen, can't we?” geto smirks, rubbing on your ass giving it a light smack, “come sit on my dick, i’ll take of you.”

“what about me?” gojo whines, groaning as you're pulled away from him and on top of geto.

“you’ll get yours in due time, satoru,” geto scolds, taking out his dick giving it some light pumps before rubbing it across your slit. you force yourself down on him, your hands clawing at his chest as you push it down. you were already gushing at the feeling of geto inside of you, filling you whole. so the idea of having them both in you had you excited, grinding down onto geto’s dick as hard as he was thrusting into you.

“are you seeing this?” geto asks gojo, gesturing to the way your head was thrown back and your lips were clenched in your teeth, “the way our pretty friend here is all strung out on my dick?”

gojo’s eyes were focused on the way you bounced repeatedly on his best friends dick, furiously pumping his as the sight. the way your grabbed your tits and played with your nipples, moaning to the beat of geto’s thrusts, he knew he needed to be inside of you.

he gets out of the bed, coming to kneel behind you, peppering kisses along your spine. “i think theres room for me, isn’t there?” he jests, slightly pushing you forward, eyeing the way geto’s dick slides in and out of you.

you take a shark inhale at the feeling of gojo entering you, “you’re good,” geto reassures, “you can take us.” and you moan as you get used to the feeling of the both of them, their dicks rubbing together as they drive into you, instantly finding a rhythm.

“you feel so fuckin’ good, w-way too good,” gojo moans, holds you from behind, his chest presses against your back, his hands cupping your boobs as his head rests on your shoulders.

“‘m close,” geto mutters, smirking at the sight of you, the feeling of you. “you gonna let us cum inside of you? really keep you filled up.” you moan out in agreement, your head felt so foggy with the feeling of them both charging into you. geto gives gojo a knowing smile, and as if on cue, they both load into you showering you with their cum. you finish at the same as them with a high pitched moan, releasing onto them, feeling stuffed with all their cum, and yours, resting inside of you.

“now that,” gojo pulls out of you, pressing an appreciative kiss on the corner of your lips before collapsing on the bed with a blissful smile, “was fucking magical.”

“yeah i guess it was good,” geto chuckles, still inside of you, kissing you on your forehead, his hand slinging over your ass, as you slump on top of him, “how are you feeling?”

“you two are exhausting,” you joke with a smile, “but i can see why i kept you around as my friends.” although this was something that you yourself didn’t plan, you weren’t gonna deny that being freshly fucked and laid up with your two best friends wasn’t all that bad.

AN: I think you can see my heavy bias for geto come thru in this fic but oh well DIVIDERS BY @/CAFEKITSUNE I wrote this more for time than anyone else tbf BUT TELL ME WHAT U THINK since I am iffy on my smut skills

#stampedwithanE★#jjk x reader #jjk smut #jujutsu kaisen smut #gojo x reader #gojo smut #geto x reader #geto smut #gojo satoru x reader #geto suguru x reader #gojo x you #geto x you

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hawkzeyes · 9 months

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Clint’s early years in the Avengers was so Teenage Dirtbag of him

#hawkzeyes #Clint beloved #Clint Barton #Hawkeye #like such a loser asshole #fawning after the girl who does NOT love him #little shit behavior #love him so much 🫶#just thinkin bout it wanna squish him #then Bobbi finds him and she’s a teenage dirtbag too #AAAAAAAH #stop IM SPIRALING

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pandagirl45 · 10 months

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Clint: are you in love with buck mister?

Tony: *scoffs* no. Why would you assume?

Bruce: heart eyes

Tony: I don't do heart eyes! Actually I do... angr... *sees bucky not realizing extremis makes tiny electric pink heart eyes with tiny pink electric sparks and pink glow* eyes...

Bruce and clint: heart eyes

Tony: I don't do-

Bucky: tony

Tony: *screams throwing a plate at him scurrying off*

Bucky: *confused*

Rhodey: *staring at Tony as he laments his panic*

Tony: I threw a plate at him!! T-T rhodey!! I'm in love and my reaction was panic throw... *falls over like a melodramatic cat* bury me

Rhodey: tones, it could be worse, you could have had crush on Peter quill

Tony: ew...

#tony stark #bucky barnes #winteriron #silly thoughts #bruce banner #little shit bruce banner #clint barton #clint barton being the most observant one #rhodey is the big brother of the group #james rhodey rhodes #rhodey is the big brother #rhodey is not surprise #tony panic throwing and screaming #bucky finds out when he saves tony from a fall and tony eyes go so pink it is almost crazy and yellow hints #bucky ultimately panicking by going silent #the team now suffers by their dancing

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