#DPDR IS SUCH A SHIT DISORDER

[sweetlovingfictionals]

I’m glad you two are in my life; you know I might consider making this a poly ship between me, Tokoyami and Denki. I think that would be cute and romantic at the same time. A opposites attract kind of relationship.

Tokoyami being tired 24/7 with his two gremlin boyfriends Ahdjfjjf

#CRIES AT THESE TWO rn rn #last night was kind of a shitshow mentally again so; Louis Denki and Kamanari got me throigh it a bit #DPDR IS SUCH A SHIT DISORDER #I felt so… numb and so upset at the same time #close to crying each time I thought about hating myself and wanting to leave the reality I’m in #oh well; I’m glad these guys were here for me when my therapist wasn’t #cause I’m having no choice but to find another therapist again and I HATE having to retell my story over and over again #like damn I don’t want to be keep reminded of my mental and emotional abuse #self ship #selfshipping #selfship #oc x canon #self insert x canon #canon x oc #self shipping #ocxcanon #imagines. #Spark of Life (Denki x Mika) #Shadows Festered This Love (Tokoyami x Mika) #Lightning Covers the Shadows (Denki / Tokoyami x Mika) #MHA #mha denki #Denki Kamanari #tokoyami fumigake #Tokoyami MHA

[avpdpossum]

this tiktok is so funny to me as someone whose primary mental health struggles are avpd and dissociation.

“mental illness is what happens when you’re the person who breaks the generational avoidance of pain and emotions” bestie my mental illnesses are must avoid everything disorder and nothing feels real disorder. if this was supposed to make me better at confronting and dealing with pain, it failed miserably.

like yeah, true, mental illness is often a result of generations of pain being passed down, but it’s less in a “we are the spiritual leaders chosen to break this generational curse” way and more in a “my parents treated me like shit because it was all they knew and it fundamentally changed the way my brains works” way (sometimes with a side of “my family’s brains all work differently in a way that i inherited because there’s some genetic component to it”).

dealing with generational pain and breaking my family’s cycle of avoidance isn’t something that i was ~born to do~; my mental illnesses don’t make me somehow uniquely suited to that task. it’s actually something that’s infinitely harder for me to do because of the ways my mind has been affected by those things, but which i have to do anyway because i’m too aware of it now to just let it continue unchallenged.

but sure, his version works too…as long as you pretend that mood and anxiety disorders are the only mental illnesses.

#maybe it’s inspiring to some people but i just had to laugh #im not a shaman or a healer im a possum. if shit gets stressful i freeze and do not unfreeze until the bad thing is gone #poss.speaks #avpd #actually avpd #actually avoidant #avoidant pd #avoidant personality disorder #cluster c #dissociation #depersonalization #derealization #dpdr #actually dpdr

[hauntedselves]

The Continuum of Dissociation

[Image description:

An infographic describing the continuum of dissociation and the theory of structural dissociation. From left to right (more integrated parts to less integrated parts), are:

Altered states - Altered states of consciousness: Includes things like daydreaming, normal absorption, 'highway hypnosis', flow states, meditative practices, and imaginary play

Primary dissociation - PTSD / single incident trauma: Where a person has what can be described as a 'Going on with normal life' part that does daily life, as well as a 'Trauma part' that holds the experience of trauma

Secondary dissociation - C-PTSD / complex trauma: Where a person has more than one 'Going on with normal life' part as well as multiple trauma parts that often are caught in defensive actions and patterns of trauma

Dissociative disorders - OSDD / UDD: Other specified and unspecified dissociative disorders are diagnoses given when a person does not meet the full criteria for a specific dissociative disorder

Tertiary dissociation - DID / polyfragmented DID: Characterised by two or more distinct personality states, and in the case of polyfragmented DID, a person has a large number of 'alters' or identities, each with their own sense of self

Outside of the parts model, but still within dissociation, are:

Dissociative amnesia: Where a person cannot remember important information about their life (more than ordinary forgetfulness)

Depersonalisation & derealisation: Where a person experiences feelings of detachment from their body or cognitions, including a disconnect from their self or environment

End image description]

[Image description:

An infographic describing primary structural dissociation.

In primary structural dissociation, there is a 'Going on with normal life part', which avoids traumatic reminders to function in normal life goals. Daily life functions include rest, play, socialising, relationships, and intimacy.

There is also a trauma part, which is engaged in survival / animal defences and is often in hyper- or hypoarousal. Trauma responses (defences) are: fight, flight, freeze, submit, and attach.

End image description]

[Image description:

An infographic describing secondary structural dissociation.

In secondary structural dissociation, there is a 'Going on with normal life part', which avoids traumatic reminders to function in normal life goals.

There are also multiple trauma parts, which are engaged in survival / animal defences and is often in hyper- or hypoarousal. Trauma responses (defences) are: fight, flight, freeze, submit, and attach.

End image description]

[Image description:

An infographic describing tertiary structural dissociation. It gives an example of a system, the collection of all alters (parts) within a person.

In tertiary structural dissociation, there are multiple 'Going on with normal life parts', one or more of which may be called the 'host(s)', who are engaged in daily life. Examples of going on with normal life parts are a worker alter, a caregiver alter, and a partner alter.

There are also multiple trauma parts, which are alters engaged in survival defences. Examples of trauma parts are a gatekeeper alter (who decides who fronts), fight alters (e.g. Ann, a 24 year old primar protector part, and Don, a 30 year old persecutor part), flight alters (e.g. Sally, an 8 year old trauma holder), freeze alters (e.g. Marcus, a 10 year old trauma holder), submit alters (e.g. Pia, an 18 year old trauma holder), and attach alters (may be called 'littles', e.g. Lily, a 4 year old and Jack, a 6 year old, both trauma holders).

End image description]

- Natasja Wagner

#actually now that i read the 1st its kinda shitty. starts off good but when it gets to OSDD & DID it loses it - where are the DLP & TPs? #wheres the text explaining that DPDR and DA arent part of the ToSD but still dissociative disorders (which i added in the description)? #maybe i'll make a better one. #actually all of these are shit. lol #described #described in post #structural dissociation #dissociative identity disorder #primary dissociation #secondary dissociation #tertiary dissociation #altered states of consciousness #dissociation #theory of structural dissociation #dogpost

[arionawrites]

decided to make a list of all my diagnosed issues and like fucking. god damn. how am i just living day to day.

#nine bullet points #of diagnosed things i struggle #i struggle with #1. type one diabetes 2. adhd 3. bipolar 4. severe anxiety 5. depression 6. insomnia 7. migraines 8. dpdr 9. ptsd #and im just ?? existing like this??? literally how what the fuck #there’s more than that too thats just like the actual able to be diagnosed shit #probably also at least slightly autistic but my psychologist said that its not bad enough to impact me big time and a diagnosis would do mor #more harm than good so im just kind. Not lmao #but also: abandonment issues self worth issues guilty conscience issues feeling unworthy of literally everything issues #awful at establishing boundaries #sh issues #(not for like years but its a struggle to not relapse every year esp during winter) #suicidal ideation but at least ive never actually been suicidal #not bc i particularly love being alive but because the fact that i dont know what comes after death scares me too much lmao #even at my lowest of lows i have not wanted to kms SOLELY bc the unknown scares me enough to be like #yeah this sucks but at least i know it #at least it’s like familiar which is sad but still true lma #OH ALSO eating disorder lmao. diabulimia is a thing. #genuinely how have i not been fucking hospitalized #not in a bad way but like. idk how i havent gotten to that point yet #tho to be fair there are multiple points i probably should have been tbh #i just. dont want to worry people? or inconvenience anyone. and i know im not gonna kms so its easy to be like ‘i dont need that’ #i have overshared way too much in these tags sorry i’ll stop now #if anyone has actually read all of these: i’m sorry. i love you. i hope you feel better than i do. i hope you smiled today.

[someplacehigh]

Another year of my life I didn’t plan on living soon to be commemorated by a birthday. I should feel lucky, but all I feel is sadness. I wasted another 365 days hoping I would die and now I’m faced with the harsh reality that I’m probably going to keep on living. Where do I even start? How do I begin living? I never thought I’d get this far.

#shit #eupd #actually bpd #actually borderline #dpdr #borderline personality disorder #psychosis #depression #bpd #suicidal

[system-of-a-feather]

I’m working on a Literature Review assignment for my writing class and if I have to take a note that Individuals with High DES-II are STRONGLY correlated with individuals with High IAT (internet addiction) or IGD (internet gaming addiction) scores I will shoot myself in the direction of everyone being like "WHY ARE THERE SO MANY PEOPLE WITH DID ONLINE >:["

Like its not sure which came first chicken or the egg but dissociative people have repetitively nested online, and its been replicated time and time again to the point I'm getting tired of noting it down in my research matrix that I’m using to organize reach study I’m reading. 

Whether internet addicts are more dissociative, or dissociative individuals are more likely to be internet addicts or - the more likely thing - dissociative individuals are more likely to engage in problematic internet usage and said usage worsen dissociative symptoms, it is not a question that dissociative symptoms and internet addiction are consistently correlated.

Some papers I’ve currently read for this assignment if you are curious, links might not be the best cause they’re just placeholders:

The association between Internet addiction and dissociation among Turkish college students

Adverse Childhood Experiences, Dissociation, and Anxious Attachment Style as Risk Factors of Gaming Disorder

Investigating how internet gaming disorder and bodily dissociation experiences vary by game genres.

The Self-Absorptive Trait of Dissociative Experience and Problematic Internet Use: A National Birth Cohort Study

Alexithymia, Dissociation, and Family Functioning in a Sample of online Gamblers: A Moderated Mediation Study

Relationship of Internet gaming disorder with dissociative experience in Italian university students

The relationship of problematic internet use with dissociation among South Korean internet users

Video-Terminal Dissociative Trance: Toward a Psychodynamic Understanding of Problematic Internet Use

Attachment disorganization and dissociation in virtual worlds: A study on problematic Internet use among players of online role playing games.

#alter: riku #literature #dissociation #actuallydid #dissociative identity disorder #ptsd #dpdr #depersonalization #derealization #I'm still reading and shit and picking things apart but like #I just had to take a break from this to just -_- at how dumb that frequent comment is #no shit #i wonder why

[sighing-and-all]

i thjnk im going to explode

#not to kind of bare my entire soul in the tags but ive been constantly questioning what the fuck is going on with me. #im pretty sure I’m schizospec so that’s one thing; along w the psychosis #delusions #and liiike a number of negative symptoms and shit #i don’t know if those fall into either schizotypal or schizoid or full on schizophrenia. #i do also know that a number of my symptoms do fall in line with a number of cluster b and c shit #that much I know of #BUT #here’s the thing. #ive still questioned if i was a system for a number of years #and i DO know that i don’t have did. #and im sure i don’t think my experiences are aligned w dpdr & disassociative disorder (but I’ll probably try to do some more research!) #but idk if my experiences concerning plurality align w pdid or osdd1b #the more I look at other people’s experiences - that people tend to mix up emotional amnesia and NO AMNESIA IN THE DSM-5. #it’s a bit confusing… #osdd1b usually means that there is a distinction of parts though. NO amnesia though! #and for pdid - it means that there’s usually 1 person at front #with of course minimal switching from other parts I suppose. #(explodes) #ive been trying to think about many many things lol #and constantly doubting my own experiences… which made things worse lolll #i feel like I need someone to talk to this about it!!! But!!! im worried I won’t be really taken immensely seriously bahahahah

[i-never-grew-up]

Fellow systems on Tumblr, I need your help!

I know I have a dissociative disorder, but I dunno which one. Some alters have amnesia but not all, switching is sometimes via dissociation but it sometimes also just suddenly happens without warning, we don't really get headaches that much, Apollo (our host) is almost always in front, and we're very fictive heavy.

Please help us figure out what exactly we have so that we can figure out more about this disorder. Thank you for reading.

P.S. I'm asking for systems' opinions on this, if you are a singlet (not a system) and don't have reasonable knowledge on dissociative disorders, I don't need your opinion.

#unspecified dissociative disorder #apollo does important shit #sysblr #plural system #plurality #dissociation #did osdd #osdd #dissociative system #actually a system #traumagenic system #please help us out #undiagnosed system #minor bodied system #p did #which one #dissociative disorders #dpdr #is that even a dissociative disorder?!

[ladylinny04]

hi! my name is Caitlin, but I prefer Lin or Linny. I'm 19 years old, and am Canadian🇨🇦🍁. I have depression, anxiety/panic disorder, ADHD, borderline pd, DPDR, and minor ptsd.

I have major issues😀🫶🏻

Essentially, I'm using this account to vent, connect with potential like-minded individuals, and just express myself.

Things on this blog are potentially triggering, so please avoid scrolling if you do not wish to be triggered. Viewers discretion is advised.

Join me on my journey to spiralling insanity<3

#dpdr #sorry for being depressing #depressing shit #adhd #anxi4ty #panic disorder #borderline pd #ptsd problems #trauma #pinned bios

[eclipse15]

Actual System Red Flags, Not Just Ableist “They *insert average system experience* 🥺” Shit

We see this mainly on TikTok, but our TikTok is personal so we won’t post it there. Here are some ACTUAL system red flags that let you know something is up.

DISCLAIMER: THIS DOES NOT MEAN THESE PEOPLE AREN’T ACTUAL SYSTEMS 100% OF THE TIME, BUT IT MEANS EITHER THAT OR THEY’RE MISINFORMED

Endogenic/any other non-traumagenic/mixed origins

Systems may split due to something that may not seem traumatic to another, but it is very important to keep in mind window of tolerance. They may also split seemingly due to something random, but it’s most likely due to outside trauma. This eliminates mixed origin.

Let us be clear, endogenic systems and anything non-traumagenic do not exist. It has been proven time and time again that systems, OSDD, P-DID or DID, form due to trauma and trauma alone. “But it’s not in the DSM-V or ICD-11!” The ICD-11 and DSM-V can be and are flawed. The DSM states that you must be underweight and/or isolated to have ARFID. Both books classify autism as a disorder, not a disability.

This is not to say all who claim to be endos/mixed origin are actually those things. They could be traumagenic and just not know. Either way, it’s a huge red flag.

Claims to have polyfrag/complex/highly complex OSDD or polyfrag/complex/highly complex P-DID

Let’s get one thing clear, polyfragmented does not mean 100 or more alters.

Maybe controversial but it is impossible to be polyfrag OSDD/P-DID. Dissociation is a scale. On the lowest end you have your average joe, on the highest end you have HC-DID/a TBMC or RAMCOA polyfrag system. Unlike autism and schizophrenia, it is not a spectrum. This means if you have OSDD or P-DID, you cannot experience complexity or high complexity in a system. It may appear that you have OSDD or P-DID, but it could be because of a subsystem or sidesystem. This is actually common in C-DID and eleven more common in HC-DID.

Note: Sidesystems are exclusive to HC-DID as they are a set of programmed alters, usually with the same program. Even if you have C-DID, you cannot have sidesystems, you would have a subsystem.

Claims RAMCOA and TBMC systems don’t exist/fake claims them

RAMCOA: ritual abuse mind control organized abuse.

TBMC: Torture based mind control or trauma based mind control.

The fact that some people believe this greatly saddens me. The denial of RAMCOA and TBMC is giving the ritual abusers, mind controllers and organized abusers power. It’s exactly what programming is for, for them to not get caught and for the victim(s) to be at the mercy of the abusers. It is real, it does exist and systems form due to this. This is not to say programming cannot fail and a system is not formed. This is to say that it’s does happen, and that it is vile to claim otherwise.

Claims introject heavy systems and systems with PDs don’t/can’t exist and fakeclaims them

PD: Personality disorder

Personal note, but as a system with autism and introjects, these people just piss me off.

There is no evidence stating that systems can only have one mental disorder, including a PD. In fact, the only mental disorders that a system cannot scientifically possess is another dissociative disorder in addition to the disorder that makes them a system (this does not include BPD as it is not a dissociative disorder, it just has dissociation). For example, one cannot have OSDD-3 and HC-DID, or DID and DPDR. They may have symptoms of another dissociative disorder, but this is because of their already existing one.

As for introjects, it is proven that systems of all bodily ages, shapes and sizes can possess introjects. Autistic systems and systems with ADHD are more likely to have introjects as well. We’ve found that when somebody fakeclaims a fictive heavy system, they’re usually doing it from a place of viewing autistic systems and ADHD systems as impossible. Pretty ableist :/

Supports any of these

I think this is pretty obvious but just because you yourself don’t fake claim introject heavy systems, systems with a PD or C/HC-DID systems, that doesn’t mean you can’t support people who do. Same with Endos/mixed origin. If you don’t do those things or aren’t one yourself but you support it that makes you almost as bad or just as bad. If you’re wondering why these things are bad, just look at what we’ve stated above.

Those are all of our system red flags, let us know if you have any other actual red flags. Thank you for reading!!!!

#⭐️ #did alter #did osdd #osddid #endos dni #did system #did introject #did fragment #actually did #system

[sleepy-shutin]

do you have any tips on communicating with alters? i get the vibe im really not alone in the brain area (there are. copious ammounts of other reasons but.) i'm not sure if i just got some srs dpdr or am like actually a system

this sounds like less of a "communicating with alters" problem and more of a "DID vs. other disorders" problem, or a "how to tell what is and isn't an alter" problem. if you're not sure whether or not you have alters, communicating with them or attempting to do so isn't going to help you figure out if you have alters or not, you're just going to get more confused. trust me, i've been down this exact same path before and it made things worse and more confusing. don't jump into trying to communicate with alters first before even knowing whether or not you have them.

also, obligatory warning that more people should be giving out: if you're still living in an abusive/traumatic environment, i personally really do not recommend self diagnosing with DID. from my personal experience and the personal experience of friends, this makes things worse, especially if you're under 18 or otherwise cannot legally leave. worry about surviving and getting out, THEN worry about the magnitude of trauma that you experienced and try to start getting it processed. trying to process trauma and deal with trauma and dissociation symptoms while still being traumatized actively is an awful experience.

if the second paragraph doesn't apply to you, ignore it. it's not for you.

this post from felis puts a lot of it into some pretty easy to understand language, the difference between cPTSD parts and fully autonomous dissociated parts, as seen in DID or OSDD-1.

another thing to note--i can't remember if this is mentioned in the linked post or not--but parts aren't always necessarily going to feel like entirely different people controlling your body. the vast majority of people who have autonomous dissociated parts have parts that are not the most distinct and may be separated out by feeling (i.e. "i feel like a serious woman with long hair") rather than suddenly knowing you have a specific name, age, gender, etc.

what you should do when trying to figure out if you actually have parts, is pattern tracking. journal a lot. if you can, try to think about how you feel throughout the day, (i.e. "do i feel like the serious woman with long hair or do i feel like the sad little boy or do i feel like the happy man with a baseball cap?"), to better track these patterns and see if they are brought up at specific times of day.

for example, i become tal when i'm at work. she is a teenage girl with dark hair, and she's very cheerful, and is pretty happy being masculine, even though she doesn't necessarily present that way when we draw her.

while i'm at home, i become zero, who is more serious and deadpanned and irritable, who is very obviously a male figure.

i can always tell the difference between these two specifically because of how starkly different we feel to each other. when i start feeling like a bubbly teenage girl, that's a pretty easy way for me to tell when i've switched. i can generally tell when i'm going to switch to tal because she comes forward in IRL social situations, and at work. i've used pattern tracking over the course of months to figure these patterns out.

that's only two parts out of my documented 30-something, and it took months to fully figure that out. you're probably going to have a similar amount of time figuring out your own shit. don't rush it. the best time to start is now, so be patient.

so basically, track how you feel identity-wise in differing situations, and track how connected or disconnected you feel to these differing identity feelings over time.

when you get home from work/school, does the person at work/school feel like you? do you feel confused by your actions at work/school? anxious about these actions? disgusted? do you feel like these actions you did at work/school are something that you would do now that you're not at work/school? these are some questions you can ask yourself.

remember, this only works if you're honest with yourself, and it is not a quick process.

i hope you get things figured out anon.

#ask #anon #advice #actuallydid #actuallymultiple #actuallytraumagenic

[1nt3rn3t4ng3l]

i dont get neurotypical people like....what is going on w/ their brains? like i will mention having a skin picking disorder and the first question is something along the lines of "oh so your diagnosed with that aswell?" and i will answer "Its a commodity that comes with ASD" and then i get told Im faking or that i dont actually have the disorder. WHAT?! Its insane 2 think i would get diagnosed with all of the shit thats "wrong" with me like i would be there for fucking DAYS!!! I dont know how they cant grasp that alot of shit i have dosent need a diagnosis for cuz im already diagnosed with Autism,ADHD,C-PTSD,Persistent Depressive Disorder(mixed symptoms),DPDR and Body Dysmorphic Disorder.

anyone else have like stories of neurotypicals/ able bodied people not understanding you or just being jack asses?

#neurodivergent #disabled #autistic experiences #neurodivergent community #invisible disability #rant post #personal rant #rambles

[yourchemicallyimbalancedromance]

Something (Un)Familiar

Ship: none? Unless you count this as platonic LAMP lmao, also possible prinxiety?

CW/TW: heavy dissociation themes (like literally the main theme of this entire story revolves around dissociation.), also swearing

Summary: Roman wakes up in an empty parking lot in the middle of the night and panics, calling Virgil for help.

———————————————————————

The fluorescent streetlights above Roman were blinding; cutting, white circles. They pierced through his windshield and flooded into the car, lighting up the leather seats.

Roman had his head pressed against the headrest, barely conscious. Slowly blinking his eyes open, he immediately covered them with his arm, sucking in a breath at the light harshly beaming down on him. As the pressure in his eyes decreased and finally became adjusted to the light, he looked around, squinting, trying to look for cues of where he was.

The parking lot was empty, the only thing accompanying it being locked stores, rattling leaves on the pavement, and him.

Waves of fear racked his body, he saw his phone in the open glovebox and grabbed it, noticing that it was powered all the way off. He didn’t do that, did he?

His breath hitched further, he had no clue where he was, he was lost and he had absolutely no way of knowing how he had even gotten there in the first place.

He held down the volume and power button on his phone watching as it lit up and presented a passcode screen. He typed it in as fast as could, and with his entrance being accepted came hundreds of missed calls and messages. He scrolled through them.

Virgil: where the hell are you????? Patton is worried sick, literally. Text back soon, please.

Logan: Roman I think it’d be best if you answered your phone. No one is going to be upset at you, we are just concerned for your safety.

*13 missed calls from: Virgil* his lucky number, shit, he really fucked up.

Those were only a few of the multiple notifications from Virgil.

Patton hadn’t bothered texting, which made him feel nauseous.

With shaking hands, he quickly clicked on Virgil’s contact and began typing.

He deleted the message and began retyping again, and again, and again. This cycle repeated for a few minutes before he finally sent the message.

‘I’m fine. I don’t know where I am but I’m fine.’

The message was read immediately, a gray text box following hurriedly after it.

‘Holy hell you’re okay’

‘What the fuck Roman, you can’t just up and leave without explanation’

‘What do you mean you don’t know where you are.’

Roman shook his head, nerves still all over the place, the queasy feeling in his gut never left, only got increasingly worse.

He pressed the call button under Virgil’s contact and prayed to god he would answer. He picked up on the first ring.

“Virgil? Virg I don’t know— I don’t know where I am, I’m in my car but—“ he looked around, “I can’t see anything, it’s dark, I can’t read any of the signs. I- I don’t know how I got here”

He heard voices and then a muffled “Roman, Roman listen to me, we’re tracking your phone right now, it’s okay. Stay in your car, are the doors locked?”

Roman looked beside him, down at the little buttons on the car door, the lock button was pushed down, the lights streaming on it. “Mhm” he said, hushed.

“Okay, good. Do not get out of the car, do you understand? We just pinged your location. Roman—why are you in a bare parking lot?”

To this, Roman broke out into tears “I don’t know, I just— I woke up here and— Virgil, do you think I’m crazy?”

“You just—“ Virgil started, “The possibility of you being mentally deranged is extremely low, Roman. You are fine, this may be a case of amnesia due to dissociation” Logan butted in.

“Disso— what?” Roman choked out

“Dissociation. There are many types. For example, there’s Dissociative Identity disorder which has different subtypes such as OSDD which stands for Other Specified Dissociative Disorder and there’s DPDR which stands for Deperson-“

“Logan.” Virgil says sharply.

“Sorry. Right. Roman, what you are struggling with is dissociative amnesia, not being able to recall information about oneself, usually due to longterm stress and/or trauma. In this instance, you cannot remember how you found yourself where you are, and that’s okay. You are okay.” Logan explains all of this calmly, as if it is just another day, as if explaining why Roman is stranded is as normal as breathing to him.

Romans cries have died down to sniffles, and his eyes are darting around for any possible threats in the sea of darkness he finds himself in; the streetlights are slowly turning off one by one.

“Okay—okay just— when are you coming to get me?” Roman asks timidly, almost as if he’s not in the silence of his own car, no one around to hear him.

“You’re about 15 minutes away,” Logan says, “we’ll text you when we’re close so you can turn your headlights on” there’s a silence between them before he adds, “to make it easier to find you.”

Roman nods even though Logan can’t see him, he realizes this and adds a soft “okay”

———————————————————————

It felt like hours before Roman got the message Logan was talking about.

Logan: ‘We are a minute away, please turn your headlights on.’

Roman fumbled for his keys and put them in the ignition, turning them and jumping at the sound of the engine running.

He turned on his headlights quickly as he heard a car pull up beside him and park, the gravel on the lot kicking up and landing a few feet away in all directions.

Logan was driving the car while Virgil was holding Patton in the backseat, who was still visibly shaken.

Logan got out of the car, putting little pressure on the door to close it; Virgil and Patton followed behind.

Roman opened his door immediately and clung to Logan. He didn’t react immediately, just froze for a second before patting him on the back. “It’s alright, Roman. you’re okay.” He whispered soothingly.

Anyone else would’ve heard nothing but a monotone voice speaking into the cold air, but he heard it; the delicateness, the careful wording.

Roman let go and was immediately pulled into the embrace of Patton who was almost crying. It was a silent and drawn out hug, neither side saying anything; almost as if everything they needed to say had disappeared once they saw each other; Patton let go.

“If you ever scare me like that again I’m going to murder you I swear to god.” Virgil grumbled, only half joking.

Roman looked uncomfortable and fidgety at the mention of death considering anything could have happened to him while unconscious, he didn’t say anything about it, just said “sorry..”

Logan cleared his throat, “if I may interject for a second,” he looked around to make sure everyone was listening, “Roman I am extraordinarily content with the finding that you are alive and well but it is approximately 37 degrees outside. We need to get you home.”

Roman nodded in agreement.

“Alright, Let’s go. Virgil and Patton, you ride with Roman and make sure he’s well; I’ll take my car back and follow you.”

Everyone scattered to their cars and the sound of doors slamming shut filled the air. Roman was now in the passenger seat instead of the front seat, Virgil was in the front; He slowly backed out of the parking lot and headed towards their home.

Out of impulse, Roman grabbed Virgil’s hand. It was cold, but he didn’t mind it, he liked the psychical contact, it reminded him of the fact that he was alive and safe.

Virgil smiled, trying to hide it by looking in the rear view mirror, pretending to check for anything behind them. It was a dumb idea, really, it was 12:30 AM and no one would be out that late where they lived; he liked how hard he tried though.

Patton didn’t say anything the whole way home, only gave Roman the occasional glance to make sure he was okay.

He was fine with it, the silence, the lack of words. He didn’t need it, only needed their presence, only needed to hold and be held by the person he loved the most, Virgil, even if it was just hand-holding; he was fine with that.

And he didn’t know it, but Virgil was too.

#sanders sides #thomas sanders #ts virgil #virgil sanders #logan sanders #ts logan #ts patton #patton sanders #ts roman #roman sanders #dissociation mention #ts anxiety #ts creativity #ts logic #ts morality

[valcaira]

About me

Hello folks! you can call me Cyrus or Cy. I'm 20 years old and I blog about many kind of things including disability, queerness, jewishness, art, fandom and politics.

I'm transmasc bigender nonbinary butch demiboy faggot dude and use he/him pronouns. I'm also a german-belarusian ashkenazi jew and practice witchcraft.

I am vehemently kink positive and will tag posts where i'm lusting over blood, cannibalism and guts as #bloodthirst so filter out that tag if it makes you uncomfortable.

If you use Zionist as an insult, to categotize Jews into "good" and "bad", only get your sources from antizionists and refuse to listen to Jewish people who keep telling you it's a complex ideology with many facets and doesn't mean what you think it does - you are both wrong and stupid.

I also make image and video descriptions when I'm able to.

Further information under the cut:

Other Socials:

Twitter: @/sweetcarotid

Instagram: @/valcaira_art

AO3: valcaira

BYF:

My blog is a MOGAI friendly space.

I'm disabled and chronically ill. I have rheumatoid arthritis, POTS, FND with hemiparesis, a tic disorder, BPD, NPD, dpdr, psychosis and CPTSD. I'm also autistic.

In terms of political stances I consider myself left wing and a democratic socialist. Democracy is non-negotiable. I'm pro-European Union. Anti-authoritarianism. The lives and wellbeing of humans stand above all else, especially capitalism. If you're a western tankie or Russia lover don't even attempt trying to "convince" me of your ideology. I'm Belarusian. I know more than you.

If your support for minorities stops at Jewish and Romani people you might as well hurl yourself into the sun while you're at it.

I'm also an artist and have tons of OCs. If you want to talk about them and yours go ahead!

While I do allow minors to interact with my blog, I wouldn't call it strictly SFW since I make sexual jokes and make the occasional "hell yeah penis" post. I have a sideblog for hornyposting, although visit it with care as it can be very distressing to a lot of people due to it being gore centered. @bleeding-aorta

If I'm on your dni and you interact/follow me first I'm going to ignore it. I'm still open to chill with people who have different stances.

Stances:

- anti TERF, anti TIRF, anti radfem, anti bioessentialism

- pro democracy, pro european union, anti facist, anti tankie

- "narcissistic abuse" isn't a real thing and just reinforces ableism

- Transandrophobia exists

- pro mpec lesbians and gays + contradictory labels, radinclus

- professional transmed/truscum hater

- anti radqueer, anti transid

- pro para anti contact paraphile

- pro fiction. Don't harass people over what they consume in fiction. Thought crimes are not a thing and you don't automatically endorse in reality what you enjoy in fiction. Antis are free to interact but do behave please. I have horrible experiences with your group (including being sent death and rape threats).

- fuck off if you follow/support/reblog from heritageposts, brendanicus or lesbianchemicalplant. I won't tolerate tankies, NK apologists or antisemities.

- neutral on Zionism

- pro Jewish self-determination

- If you identify with the term "Asperger's" I am very likely to block you.

- attacking people for creating Harry Potter fanworks isn't helping anyone. Don't give money to JKR, enjoy your fanfic and ships. I still like reading Snarry fanfic despite not engaging with the source material anymore.

Wiccans are on thin ice.

My stance on the Israel-Palestine conflict is quite clear: Palestinians deserve their own independent state, homeland and the atrocities need to stop. Netanyahu and his Likud party is a colonizing piece of shit that needs to go. Hamas are terrorists, not "freedom fighters" and are utterly despicable. If you support Hamas in any way, shape or form stay the fuck away from me. October 7th happened and this atrocity from Hamas must not be denied. I believe in a two-state solution, as Israel deserves to exist. Jews and Palestinians are indigenous to the Levant and not a single one deserves to be hounded out of their homes. If you're ignorant about the history of Judea, Arab colonialism and the creation of Palestine by the Romans you should shut up and educate yourself. Zionism is a complicated ideology with a complicated history and I do not trust Zionist or anti-Zionist goyim. My stance on Zionism is a deeply personal thing. The atrocities and needless killing of human beings need to stop, no matter what "side" they're on. This makes me both Pro Palestine and Pro Israel. People aren't their governments. Everyone deserves to live together in peace.

Am Yisrael Chai

[flowers-floating-in-space]

Welcome! 🪻🌿🌻🍄🌱⭐️

⭐️Hi! I’m sorta new to tumblr, so excuse me for any mistakes.✨

👾🦄Url change! f1nchl1ketheb1rd >> flowersfloatinginspace🪻☂️

🌞Call me Sequoia, Hibiscus or Orion!🌻

🪼🦋☁️my pronouns:

they/them, moss/mosses, xe/xem, xy/xyr, sprout/sprout, ne/nis/nyms, bug/bugs, star/stars, rain/rains, storm/storms🫐🦋

🌷🍄I reblog anything that interests me, but mostly Fandom stuff , Art, Aroace, trans, and xenogender stuff🌺🌹

🌿🍀my fandoms:

⭐️Rottmnt⭐️koltc⭐️bee & puppycat⭐️owl house⭐️tma(?)⭐️dead end parks⭐️httyd⭐️avatar (the blue people)⭐️🌱🪴

🪲🪰I’m a minor, white, and a singlet (singlet=not a system)🕷️🐛

🦷🪿I have diagnosed Depression and Anxiety, and questioning ADHD, a tic disorder and Dpdr🐑

🐀🪨I’m a ace, demiromantic, t4t person (possibly aplatonic spec) 🦡🐾

🔥☄️I use a lot of gender labels, but mostly non-binary, genderqueer, agender, Genderflux, bug gender, spacegender, staric, pangender, and stormgender💥🍄

🌏🐉I’m sex repulsed and romance adverse🫐

🕊️🪶DNI:transphobes, homophobes, anti-xenopronouns, racists, anti-neopronouns, anti-mogia, anti-mspec lesbians and nsfw/18+ blogs🐁🐚

🌘✨I have another blog @pronounsforpeople, and I’m a mod @pronoun-shop ⚡️🌕✨

🧠🐷my tags!!

#⭐️names - ethier name lists, or name checks reqs by me to other blogs

#⭐️pronouns - basically the same as the name tag

#⭐️hibi talks - me having convos or adding onto posts

#⭐️letter book - ideas for the shared journal between me and @/funkymushro0ms irl

#⭐️art inspo - inspiring art/history

#⭐️hibi tags - me tagging or being tagged by others

#⭐️hibi comfort - comfort about whatevs

#⭐️me! - labels that apply to me

#⭐️hibi art - my art!!

#⭐️okokok - really cool stuff

#⭐️trans - trans shit🌸

🦊y’all can talk to me!! I love interactions, ask me questions!! Spill!! Feel free to rant/vent in a anon ask, just keep it pg, k?🦀🦐

🥝🍈I love tag games and reblog games!!!🍏🍵

[id: a light blue userbox with a pastel blue border, and pastel blue text that reads “this user hoards genders neos and names” on the left is an image of a blue heart. /end id]

[id: a light pink userbox with a pastel pink border and pastel pink text that reads "this user thinks you deserve to be happy." on the left is an image of a pink heart /end id]

(user boxes are from - @/sweetpeauserboxes)

#trans

[mint-berry-crunch]

KENNY

KENNY, MY BELOVED!

Oh boy, OH BOY, where to start with this guy?

I think I'll start out with his appearance, then move on to his identity, likes, dislikes, and misc. shit.

But before we get into it, minor TW for mentions (slightly in-depth!) of bad home life, an eating disorder, and mental illnesses. It's the first thing under the cut; I put a ✨ when it's safe to read again.

Ok, so, I definitely hc Kenny as underweight, for more than one reason. One being obviously that his family is poor, and can't afford much food, but I also think that Kenny has an eating disorder. ARFID, to be specific. It's not to lose weight, either; I think it formed because Kenny would rather his little sister Karen get to eat more food than him. His parents are also CLEARLY abusive, it's stated and even outright shown. I think that one of their abusive punishments is withholding food when Kenny does something they perceive as "bad," or even just when he makes them mad.

Kenny, I believe, also has a slew of disorders, mostly from his traumatic life. I think he's got:

ADHD, AFRID, C-PTSD, DPDR, and Cotard's syndrome. The C-PTSD is self explanatory- his life is shit. And I already explained the ARFID. But as for the others, I believe he has: ADHD just based on the actions he takes in the show. DPDR, as a symptom of his C-PTSD, and coping mechanism to the trauma of dying over and over and over. Impossibilities aside, if that were to happen to someone in real life, they would likely have a VERY hard time with their sense of reality. Cotard's syndrome, I considered not listing. Because Kenny really DOES die. But after thinking about it, I DO think he has it. I think his DPDR causes him to not be able to tell if he is really alive, or if he has died yet again.

✨

All the triggering stuff is out of the way now.

I think that Kenny has snake bites and an eyebrow piercing. He just gives those vibes, doesn't he? Like, come on, he TOTALLY has face piercings! Same with a mullet. Like, Kenny is THE most mullet-having mullet haver I've ever seen!! It's less of a "hillbilly country bumpkin" mullet, and more of a tik tok alt mullet, and it actually looks kinda good on him.

I also think he wear Hawaiian shirts under his parka. At first he didn't like them, not even wearing one when he went to Hawaii and just keeping his parka on, but after a little while, he realized that he loved button-up shirts, but that normal button-ups were to formal for him. His solution? Hawaiian shirts.

I think he's genderfluid. Genderfaunet, in specifically. He uses he/him/they pronouns. This is because he's almost always a boy, but is sometimes non-binary, so usually prefers he/him. He's straight and even when he's non-binary, he still calls himself straight. It's just a personal preference of his.

I think Kenny's intelligence is definitely above average. However, his strengths don't lie with schoolwork. Instead, he's better at real-life problem-solving, and emotional intelligence. I'd place his IQ at around 120, although he never got tested. His worst subject in school is math.

Some things he likes are: Rock music, the aquarium, dogs, "bad" weather, nature, sports, urban exploration, social media, cars, and video games.

Some dislikes are: Reading, drawing, writing, speaking (sometimes), school, and closed spaces.

When Kenny gets to be in high school, he works at a gas station with Stan and steals cigarettes from behind the register. Kenny's job as an adult is at Sea World.

Kenny has GOT to be my favorite character. He's funny, but can have serious story lines that you can take seriously, unlike, for example, Cartman. He's got some things about him that are very relatable to me and a lot of other people and he's just overall a great character!

#sorry its not as long as the last one #i love kenny #i was jsut getting tired #south park #kenny mccormick #sp kenny #kenny south park #headcanon #south park headcanons #sp hcs