#Do vegans get injured more often?

[newmusicbreakthru]

5 Vegan Myths That Need To Die! 💀 — Weekly Health Trends

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#Are vegans statistically healthier? #debunking vegan myths #Do doctors recommend going vegan? #Do vegans get injured more often? #Do vegans live longer? #How does going vegan affect your body? #Is being vegan scientifically proven? #Is being vegan spiritual? #Is it actually healthy to be vegan? #Is vegan or Pescatarian healthier? #the truth about veganism vegan b12 myth vegan life expectancy myth vegan stroke risk debunked vegan no more 1 #vegan b12 myth #Vegan life expectancy myth #vegan myths about meat #vegan myths and facts #What are the negatives of a plant-based diet? #What is negative about being vegan? #What is unhealthy about a vegan diet?

[d0vey1l0vey]

ATLEY HEADCANONS

OR IF YOU'RE UNFAMILIAR, ATLANTA x HERRY

I'm bored, it's almost 3 AM, and they're rotting my brain; some of these were brought to you by the COTT discord server.

STARTING US OFF

` Dumb jock who doesn't know his strength x Mean athlete who reminds him

` "I might hurt her, I need to be gentle." "I'm not made of glass jackass, kiss me." relationship

` He kisses her bruises after every fight, she calls him sappy but secretly loves it.

` Extremely gentle due to the vast size difference, always shows her affection so sweet and easy that it can be compared to that of a new owner and a baby kitten

` Their dates consist of going on runs, exercising, training, and fast food.

` Holds Atlanta on his shoulders at any given chance, she rests her arms on his head and her head on both; sometimes naps there and Henry won't move a single muscle

` Herry is the groups medic however will only ever treat Atlanta first if it's not a dire situation, if they all got some scrapes and bruises however he checks on her first. "Did I bump you too hard? I'm sorry babe.." "YOU TOOK A LEFT HOOK TO THE JAW FOR ME, I AM MORE THAN FINE."

` He does everything for her, carries her bags, her books, and her equipment. She tries to do it herself and tells him that she can but he just shakes his head and takes it back from her.

` Buys her 7 balloons for the Valentine's day grams, the limit is 5 but Herry can be pretty threatening if he wants to.

` Atlanta isn't a big pda girl, small kisses, short hand holding, hugs, and that's about it. But at home especially at night she wears one of his old shirts, some sleep shorts, and face plants his chest to go to bed at night. Only Neil knows this, she holds his mirror hostage because of it.

` Atlanta is scared of thunderstorms due to one killing her mother in a freak accident (This will be explained in another post), so whenever a storm rolls around Herry gathers all the blankets and pillows accessible to him, lets her hide in his chest when loud cracks or booms fill the sky, and plays his TV on 50% volume; pretending he doesn't hear her whimpers or feels tear stains on his shirt, just hugs her closer to him and rubs soothing little circles into her back.

` Big gentle boyfriend, small angry girlfriend.

` He plays with her hair on the weekends they get to sleep in.

` Didn't tell the others they were dating until a few months went by and they got caught kissing in Atlanta's room.

` Introduced Atlanta to Granny as his girlfriend and she instantly started referring to Atty as "My girl" or "My Atlanta" and saying things such as "My little Atlanta is the perfect lady for my grandson, keeps him safe.. Yes, I do love them both."

` Watches shitty romcoms and cackles like witches before mimicking them while giggling and choking on popcorn.

` The couple ever

` Carries her around at the wild life saftey protests, screams the loudest during the deforestation prevention rallies.

` Rough houses on days Herry isn't self conscious about hurting her, not afraid to chase each other through the rain and fall in puddles.

` She helps around on the farm, drives places for granny, the only person allowed to drive Herry's truck off mission,

` Atlanta loves when he calls her Atty or His lightning bolt, often refers to him in private as Her warrior

` Herry will drop everything to help Atlanta, especially if she's injured or worse.

` He's like a natural heater, so cuddles early in the morning are mandatory before they start any classes / training.

` Will find ways to sneak away from their mentors to walk through Athena's garden.

` Atlanta jokingly tells him he should do the Atalanta's footrace to win her heart, he takes it serious and actually trains to do it still to this day.

` Although Atlanta is a vegetarian/vegan, Herry still loves taking her out to meat themed restaurants (He never forces her to buy any meat, often pointing out which are vegan safe options on the menu.)

` Messy rooms, both of them, they play MK and the loser has to clean up both rooms. (They end up just helping whoever loses anyways.)

` The type of girlfriend to cover her boyfriend's eyes when she's losing in a video game.

` His lap is like a second seat to her, she casually sits in it whenever without realizing.

` Loves to prank the others together.

` Atlanta was scared of a relationship at first, but over time Herry carefully introduced the aspects of it to her; taking his time to let her adjust which she was grateful for.

` Cuts her hair for her so she doesn't have that spikey fuck ass bob.

` Get a puppy together and name him Zeus so that they can mess with the god.

` Talks to Theresa and Jay for advice but realizes their friends relationships aren't too stable and stop doing it.

THAT'S ALL FOLKS, HAVE A LOVELY NIGHT

#class of the titans #cott #cott herry #cott atlanta #atlanta cott #herry cott #class of the titans atlanta #class of the titans herry #class of the titans neil #neil cott #cott neil #headcanon #big post #herry x atlanta #atley

[desiringnothingness]

There is a side to farming and rural life that is not fully understood by cottagecore and other city people who want a "simpler" life.

We have lost a lot of chickens to raccoon attacks. We lock the chickens in a chicken house every evening, but raccoons have intelligence, are able to figure out latches and many closing mechanisms, can damage plywood doors with their claws, have the intelligence to get upset at farmers and carry out excessive grudge attacks, defeat most chicken feed closing mechanisms, etc. We had to buy special feed containers and put three different latches at various points on our chicken house door, then fasten the latches with carabiner hooks. I don't know if the carabiner hooks defeat raccoons through their lack of finger strength or are just too counter intuitive for them to figure out. So our raccoon raider figured out that we lock up the chickens at dusk, and decided to attack right before dusk two nights ago when the chickens were still out in the chicken yard. Fortunately my wife went outside just in time to chase the raccoon off and save her chickens.

This is past the point where the raccoon needs to be stopped. We borrowed a trap, baited it with chicken meat next to the chicken house, and caught the raccoon last night. Since my area does not have a wildlife rescue or state agency that will rehab nuisance raccoons, people here often kill raccoons. (I have searched online, and talked to the conservation department more than once about nuisance wildlife, so I have tried looking into that route before). We thought of releasing her somewhere else, but that is just giving some other farmer our problem and I think that is weak-minded and immoral to do to others. The remaining choices are giving up on protecting our chickens, or killing the nuisance raccoons.

My plan was to shoot the raccoon in the trap facing her, aiming between the eyes so the 9 mm pistol bullet will exit through the body after going through the brain. Death should be instant. I have had to shoot enough predators, ill or injured livestock that won't recover, or run-over cats and dogs slowly dying from the rural highway to know that rifles are overpowered and too small diameter at close range to be as effective at instant kills as a slower velocity but bigger diameter pistol bullet. A shotgun slug is best, but it would tear up the trap front and back.

So we went out there this morning to shoot the raccoon with a 9 mm pistol. The nipples on her stomach indicated that she was nursing a litter of baby raccoons. Since she was a dedicated chicken killer who would have taught her offspring how to kill our chickens, we couldn't let her go. We don't know where her babies are hiding, probably in a nearby forest on someone else's property so we can't look for them to put them out of their suffering. She was smart enough to realize the danger, to watch the pistol and us closely, and that aggressive posturing would be futile for her to even attempt. She just quietly scrunched down and watched us with big sad expressive eyes. We couldn't shoot her, so we rigged a hose from a car exhaust into a sealed garbage can to make her sleep, then filled the can with water while she was still in the trap sleeping. Unfortunately the gas was not enough to put her out after 10 minutes. She had climbed to the top of the cage while drowning and died with her arm sticking out the top like she had been reaching for the garbage can lid.

This is just one example of many of how I am not suited for even hobby farming. It is awful. If you eat chicken, then you are contributing to this cycle whether you want to or not when you go to the grocery store or KFC. Ignorance is what keeps your conscience clear. Even going vegan is contributing to the cycle of death, because farmers have to kill deer, boar, crows, and other threats to their crops. That is how life has always been, but city life separates people from this reality.

#farm life #farm living #raccoons #cottagecore is a fantasy #chickens #city people

[soul-lime]

TW talk of diet culture and ED's

Word is on tiktok, 'thin is in' is coming back. I'd like to take this chance to educate people on why that's a horrible idea and why you should not diet.

Forewarning, I am not a doctor or a scientist. I encourage you to check my sources and to do research of your own. (Correct me if I got anything wrong. With evidence.)

Beginning with the idea of what you put on your plate and what things you need to eat in order to stay healthy.

Fat.

Fat is NECESSARY. It is our fuel tank. It helps prevent and fight starvation. It is a necessary calorie reserve. Our brains need a lot of calories, did you know that? In historical and scientifical sense, fat has been used to show wealth, and health.

Fat tissue stores excess fat, and releases it slowly over time when our bodies need more. Such as when we're hungry, or we don't eat before bed. Along with that, we need them to help keep our energy. We need them to be able to do our daily tasks, to remain energized.

Aside from that, you're not going to get to a size that causes health issues only from eating. And while you want to be careful to remain healthy, remember not to be ableist. Some people can't control their size, or how much they eat, or other things that may contribute. Some people are unable to move around as much. Don't assume that just because someone is fat that they're unhealthy, or not trying their best to remain as healthy as possible.

(Their best does not mean perfect, it means as much as they can do without hurting themselves or tiring themselves out. This includes not only physically, but mentally too)

(This link does have ads, and because it's an article about body fat they may be related to diets. Read at your own risk)

Sugar.

We all know what blood sugar is, right? But do we know why it's so important? It prevents heart disease, vision loss, and kidney disease. Staying in the target range improves energy and mood. (Paraphrased from the CDC)

High blood sugar can be bad, sure. It can be really bad. It can be cause by hyperglycemia, being sick, being stressed, eating more than planned/usual, not having enough insulin. And over time it can cause long term, health problems. It can also be an early sign of diabetic ketoacidosis. (Not saying that it always is, just that it Can be)

But low blood sugar can Also really bad. Caused by missing a meal, having too much insulin, certain medicines, exercising more than normal, alcohol. It can be dangerous. Life threatening. (Not always, but sometimes)

Protein.

It's essential, you need it. Without protein our bodies will become frail and weak. Protein is needed for bones, muscles, body tissue, metabolism, immune systems, energy, healing. Protein is a necessity. This doesn't mean you need protein shakes, but if you're vegan, vegetarian, or just don't eat meat, they're a decent option. But remember that you Need it. And that you should always have a little something more too, a grain, bread, something fatty. It doesn't have to be at the same time.

Your body doesn't store protein like it does fat, so you need to consume it every day. Different people need different amounts, that means what works for you isn't necessarily the same as others. If you're someone who works out, or uses your muscles often, you need more. Same goes with if you get injured often.

Carbs.

Yeah yeah, I know, carbs. But they're important too! Carbs turn into glucose, sugar, in your body! They help with blood sugar and energy reserves. Don't take a no carb diet. It only hurts you on the long run. Not having enough carbs wipes out the glycogen in your body. Part of your water storage system.

Cutting carbs can lead to weakness, fatigue, dizziness, and headaches. You might feel foggy, a horrible unpleasant experience. And all sorts of other things (read more in the link).

So basically, diets harm you more than they help you. They make you feel sick, they cut down things your body needs to function, and they're generally just not fun. Diet culture and skinny culture are harmful. Now, I don't want to talk too much about eating disorders, this post is already pretty long, but here are some things about them.

STOP READING HERE IF TALK OF EATING DISORDERS TRIGGERS YOU!!!!

There are three big eating disorders that are pretty common; Bulimia Nervosa, Anorexia Nervosa, and Binge Eating disorder.

Bulimia Nervosa, is when someone has reocurring and frequent episodes of eating a large amount of food, and then purging it(puking), excessive exercise, and/or fasting. They may be slightly underweight, normal weight, or overweight.

Signs of bulimia nervosa are; over-thinking self image, body weight, and/or shape; episodes of uncontrolled eating that occur often for weeks/months or longer.

Anorexia nervosa, when you have behaviors like fasting, dieting, taking diet pills, diuretics, laxatives, vomiting, over exercising

Signs and characteristics of Anorexia are; Extreme weight loss, thinning hair, bluish discoloration of the fingers, scratches or constantly sore throat, going to the bathroom immediately after eating fatigue, dizziness or fainting, and more.

Binge-eating disorder, frequently consuming large amounts of food and feeling unable to stop. You may feel embarrassed on how much you eat or vow to stop, but are unable to.

Signs and characteristics; Eating an unusually large amount of food over a small period of time, feeling that your eating behavior is out of control, eating when full or not hungry, eating until uncomfortably full, felling bad about your eating, frequent dieting possibly without weight loss.

More information at

Thank you for reading this.

#diet #diet culture #tw diet #tw ed descussion #tw talk of ed #tw eating disorders #tw mention of ed #tw mention of ableism #skinny culture #tw skipping meals #I AM NOT A DOCTOR #i am not a doctor

[penelopehui]

Mental health myth: A complete wellness overhaul is the best way to improve your mental health

This month’s myth is an important one to debunk — contrary to popular opinion, it’s not always a good idea to make huge life-altering changes. While there may be times and situations where big and major changes are necessary, most mental health experts agree that smaller changes are better.

Why? Because for change to stick, it has to be sustainable.

Anyone who has ever tried to make a drastic dietary change such as cutting out all sugar or going vegan can tell you that it is hard to sustain that kind of shift. Often, the people who have the most success in sustaining dietary changes find that they did it by taking smaller steps, one at a time. Maybe they started toward a meat-free diet by making one day a week vegetarian or vegan (or even one meal a week). Once they were able to get used to that, they could increase it to 2 or 3 days a week, or every other day. After doing that for a bit, they may be ready to make the change to every day.

The same principle can be applied in many other areas of your life. We talk about self-care all of the time, but many people feel they just can’t fit it in. It takes too much time; it’s too expensive; it’s not realistic when you have a job, kids, night classes, etc. Taking better care of yourself can just feel immensely overwhelming when you try to do it all at once.

In order to make it work, we need to look at small steps that are sustainable. Can’t get to the gym five days a week? That’s OK, maybe you could try something smaller. Could you take a five-minute walk right before you head into the office in the morning? Or maybe at the very end of your day before you go pick up family members? Maybe you could try a 10-minute workout video on YouTube while dinner is in the oven? However you make it work, that’s OK – just try to make a plan and see if it’s sustainable for you.

Once you have made that change and you are sustaining it, you might be able to make another small change and work your way up to something larger.

Here is the other key part of this equation — what is sustainable for you?

I know some people my age who can do Cross Fit three days a week and run marathons. I have a long history of back pain that makes that sort of fitness schedule impossible for me. I can’t sustain that much activity without injuring myself. I have had to come to terms with the fact that I don’t have to do the same things other people do. I can still work out in different ways and keep my body and mind healthy without having to risk injury.

It’s not just diet and exercise that we are talking about. There are many other aspects of wellness that you may need to address in your life. What about something like social activities? Some people thrive on nights out with friends, while others dread going out. Yes, time with friends can be good for your mental health, but how often feels sustainable for you? Maybe going out with friends is cost-prohibitive for you, so it actually feels more stressful than fun. Or maybe you are too tired to be out multiple times a week when you really just want to go to bed early and get some sleep. Take your own feelings into consideration and do what makes you feel good.

Visit PP bag homepage for more details.

Our local mental health expert, Kristen Martin, Executive Director of Thrive, stresses that getting professional help for your mental health also needs to be sustainable. If you decide to start seeing a therapist to seek help when you are symptomatic, you have to make the situation work for you. Forcing yourself to drive an hour each way to a therapist’s office may not be sustainable. You may need to find someone closer to home or consider trying telehealth appointments so that it won’t add to the stress you are already feeling.

Martin wants to remind people that even if the steps you are taking seem very small, you are still doing the work to move toward sustainability.

For more information about the mental health services available at Thrive, visit the website at www.thrive4health.org, or call the office at 828-697-1581.

[bwall-7204]

Encanto Headcannons #12

* Luisa room is the only place she feels she can be herself and relax. Once you walk in it’s tidy and clean with a bunch of workout equipment and jungle gyms. Her bed space though, covered in stuffed animals blankets and pillows. Ridiculously messy but not so messy she can’t just clean it up

* Isabela’s room is now a crafty mess. Good luck walking around in there, your shoes will come out a different color.

* Antonio doesn’t like rice. He’s also vegan

* Abuela doesn’t super care for Antonio’s gift, constantly annoyed by all the animals. She puts it aside though cause her grandson is happy

* Luisa sometimes steals tonito’s jaguar to cuddle with. An annoyed Antonio just glaring at her while she sleeps on her hammock

* As new generations join the Madrigal family they continue to stay color coded. Isabelas family being lilacs and pinks, Luisa’s purples and dark blues, Mirabel’s being light blues and aqua, Dolores red, Antonio Orange, and Camilo yellow. They just a rainbow at this point.

* Camilo is very close with Julieta and opens up to her about his issues while he helps her cook

* Dolores doesn’t always understand Camilo but always listens and try’s her best to understand. Mariano will do the same sometimes

* Mariano is the one to comfort Camilo after he gets rejected by the person he likes

* Isabela will constantly point out and tease Mirabel about crushes and who she thinks Mirabel would be cute with

* Mirabel was so relieved when she turned her attention on Luisa once finding out she had a crush

* The moment her sisters question her love life though, her face deadpans and she tells them to shut up

* Little girls will give Antonio flowers. He’ll get Isabela to make him one to give them back in return thinking it’s a cute little exchange thing

* Luisa has to keep her cool to not squash an extra annoying bird that will sometimes bother Antonio

* Dolores or Isabela having to stop Camilo from throwing a rock at it at times

* Every time someone asks Isabela to make them roses she groans. Her mom is the only exception tho

* Agustin has fallen asleep multiple times in Mirabel’s bed after a good conversation. She just covers him with a blanket and continues sewing

* Luisa and Pepa have read some of the same books and will cry or gush over them together

* Luisa has physically picked up and moved her family members out of situations or arguments to make it stop

* Agustin has tried to workout with Luisa in her room. Only injuring himself, his daughter forcing him to promise to just do light things when they work out together

* In Isabela’s room Agustin convinces his daughter sometimes to let him swing on her vines. Him pretending his a great acrobat. Thank god there mom has the power she does

* Luisa was very disappointed in her room once she opened the door on her gift day. She performed and showed off her strength to everyone at the ceremony upon Abuela’s request. She broke down after the party ended crying in her parents arms sad her room wasn’t more like Isabela’s and that everyone cared more about her gift than her that day.

* Luisa would often sneak back into the nursery during the first year of her gift to sleep by the babies

* When Camilo and Mirabel were younger they would fight all the time, more for fun than anything

* Pepa commented that they didn’t fight or annoy her one day so they purposely started fighting to annoy her

* Antonio likes to play with the earrings his family members wear, often batting at them as he’s being held

#encanto #encanto headcanons #disney #disney encanto #isabela encanto #isabela madrigal #luisa encanto #luisa madrigal #mirabel encanto #mirabel madrigal #camilo madrigal #camilo encanto #antonio madrigal #antonio encanto #dolores madrigal #dolores encanto #dolores x mariano #encanto mariano #abuela alma madrigal #pepa encanto #pepa madrigal #encanto agustin #bruno madrigal #julieta encanto #julieta madrigal

[i-write-boop-spoops]

N Harmonia and his S/O living together headcanons

I love this request! Honestly, anything regarding wholesome domestic life is what I live for! Thanks anon!

I must confess I’m not too familiar with Unova, so I’m a bit vague about where the home is 👀

Enjoy!

After a few years of travelling the world together

First as friends, then as romantic partners

You mutually decided to settle down

Surprisingly, N was the one to suggest it

He was never the typical boyfriend

Not really aware of how relationships usually progressed

But during your journey

You met many happy couples and cute families

Thusly, he developed a liking for a more domestic life

And as much as he loved travelling

He also wanted to experience a somewhat normal life

Something he’d never been privy to before

You gladly took him up on his offer

As soon as you returned to Unova, you picked out a little home together

A small, but modern house with a large garden

It’s far enough away from the nearby town, that it’s pretty secluded and quiet

But close enough that you could walk there fairly easily

You both adore it!

The décor is very clean, crisp

Lots of wooden furniture and metal furnishings

Plenty of plants too!

You have many shelves for books, pictures, knick-knacks and puzzles

Your home doubles as a mini Pokemon sanctuary

N leaves out extra food for wild pokemon, to make sure they’re fed well

Whenever either of you come across an injured pokemon near your home

You nurse them back to health

A lot of them tend to stick around

Neither of you mind

In fact, you consider every new member to your brood a blessing

N loves sleeping next to you

Holding you

Or being held

And waking up to your sweet face

Sure, he had seen that a lot throughout your journey

But it hits different, now that you live together

Naturally, he also wakes up to a few clingy pokemon too

They’re almost as cute as you

Almost

You take turns cooking

He’s pretty okay at it

His sisters taught him a couple recipes

They’re simple but good

I’d say N is probably vegetarian

If not vegan

So your diet would become very plant-based, if it wasn’t already

Your house is pretty clean

If you ignore all the fur, green hair and hair-ties littered about the place

Your poor vacuum cleaner is very overworked

The true MVP

When it comes to budgeting/taxes

N’s your guy

He’s literally a maths genius

Everything is accounted for, no mistakes are made

Plus, he ensures you have enough money to feed all your mons!

He loves going grocery shopping with you

It’s such a simple, mundane activity but it just fills him with so much joy

He tends to wander off

Usually looking for food/toys for your pokemon

Or something he’d think you might like

Though, he is also the trolley (shopping cart) king

Likes to have a baby pokemon in the child-seat part of it

Some people think you two are weird for it

But your little Sewaddle is much better behaved than the screaming, sticky RotomPad toddler two aisles over

And cuter, you’d argue

You’ve set up a couple raised beds in your garden

To grow some berries

For yourselves

But mostly for your Pokemon

You often get raided by a cheeky Emolga or two

Even your Ghetsis-themed scarecrow can’t scare them off

But you’re both too soft to really do too much about it

Especially since they don’t take a lot

Both your bedroom and kitchen have glass doors that lead to the backyard

N likes the easy access to the outside

And all the light

On rainy days he likes to pull up a big chair by the door

With a book in his hand

A Pokemon on his lap

You by his side

And read

Utterly at peace

Despite your small house, it can get so busy with all your Pokemon

You wouldn’t change it for the world, though

#n harmonia #n harmonia x reader #natural harmonia gropius #natural harmonia gropius x reader #n harmonia headcanons #natural harmonia gropius headcanons #request #fluff

[rheallsim]

Who will be the last sim standing? Place your bets now…!

Thousands applied, but only eight were chosen… these are the sims hoping to be the Last Sim Standing!

Deep in the Strangerville Desert lies a derelict plane, left exposed to the elements since it crashed there of unknown causes over fifty years ago. The rusted remains of sun-bleached metal hide a dark secret, however… deep beneath the wreck lies a massive complex filled with dastardly tasks meant to challenge our contestants to determine- through luck and sheer force of will- which one is worthy of the title of Last Sim Standing.

But more on the compound later. Just what is it these sims are competing for?

It’s not just glory that awaits them, though that would definitely be enough of a prize on its own. The winner will also receive §1,000,000 (tax-free!), a lavishly furnished mansion in Del Sol Valley, and the chance to live out their lives as they see fit in the background of a frequently played save file. What more could a sim ask for? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Without further ado, let’s meet our eight contestants! Like our compound, many of them also hide dark secrets of their own. They are…

1: Mimi LeBeurre​

Mimi is a neat, erratic foodie with a passion for baking. Don’t let her sweet looks fool you though… not all who have tasted her goodies survived it… She’s a tough cookie and ready to rock this challenge!

(Sim and blurb by @kimbr3)

2: Penelope Garcia

Her official title is “Technical Analyst”, but some say her talents are better suited to more… anonymous pursuits. Under the alias “The Black Queen” she used her hacking skills to reroute millions of dollars from shady off-shore corporate accounts into the coffers of charities and non-profits. Some call her a modern-day Robin Hood, but they don’t know about the hundreds of thousands she skimmed to line her own pockets (and fund her obsessive Funko Pop collection)… She managed to avoid jail-time by becoming a consultant for the FBI, and now uses her skills to track down and convict cyber criminals just like herself. She’s become the thing she once hated most, but she seems totally fine with that.

(Sim by ACMWhitney (Origin ID), blurb by me.)

3: Rufus Dunbrow​

If there’s a health fad out there, Rufus was probably a part of it at one point. Juicing? Been there. Enemas? He’s had so many he’s lost a lot of feeling down there and now needs to wear adult diapers to bed. Detoxifying, cleansing, miracle pills, homeopathic cure-alls, IV “therapies”… he’s done it all, so much so that if he donated his body to science they’d probably turn it down.

It may be obvious, but he’s obsessed with his body image. This has lead him in recent years to start working out; a noble goal, except the results weren’t as instantaneous as he would have liked. So, he got a little help from a friend- and their magic syringe filled with steroids, hormones, and other chemicals- to help him instantly “bulk up”.

He probably couldn’t lift a baby if you asked him, but hey, at least he looks good. He spends his time strutting around trying to pick people up at the beach in Del Sol Valley. He’s rarely successful, but that doesn’t stop him from trying. Who wouldn’t want a ride on the Dunbrow Train to Boneville?

(Sim by @shoobysims, blurb by me.)

4: Kristie Sewell​

This is Kristie. She’s a “famous” simstagram model who thinks the world revolves around her and she’s allowed to do anything just because she has a couple followers. Her traits are snob, mean and jealous and she really acts like it!

She’s a vegan but doesn’t realize that vegans shouldn’t wear real fur, she also eats chicken because it’s “not real meat”. She wears dreads and will bring up vikings when you try to educate her about cultural appropriation. She also wears a saree as formal wear because her simdian yoga guru said “You can wear anything you want!” and she didn’t realize he meant she could wear any athletic wear for the yoga class.

She uses slurs on the regular and if you call her out on any of this? She will post a teary-eyed snapchat non-apology rant and if you don’t accept that as an apology she’ll claim that you’re just jealous of her.

(Sim and blurb by @mooodlet)

5: Jacob Daramus​

This is Jacob. How to describe him? An outdoor enthusiast, avid mountaineer, kombucha master, possibly a serial killer…

Well, many who have gone mountain climbing with him have never returned. He claims it’s just a coincidence, but locals think differently.

Who knows, maybe all the hardships of this challenge will loosen his lips, and he will confess his crimes.

He’s innocent until proven otherwise.

(Sim and blurb by @bakersimmer)

6: Monica Rawls

Monica always loved animals. Growing up on a farm in the boonies meant she was always surrounded by them. Whenever she found a sick or injured animal she would bring it home and beg her parents to let her nurse it back to health. Despite her good intentions, however, few of her charges ever made a full recovery… and being a good farmer’s daughter, she always thought: “Why let them go to waste?” ����

Nowadays she self-publishes a cookbook on how to make that perfect “Memorial Meal” for your pet- after they’ve passed, of course. From Parakeet Parmesan to Rotisserie Horse Legs, she’s got you covered for when the only way to move on from the loss of your pet is to make them into a Grand Meal worth remembering.

(Sim by by TheTazzaful (Origin ID), blurb by me.)

7: Kellissa Miller​

Kelly Miller always thought she was too good for college. So, she dropped out, changed her name to Kellissa - with two L’s and two S’s, she’ll get mad if you misspell it - and went to pursue her true goal: being famous. She’s tried some acting, singing, playing instruments, but so far nothing. It’s not only the lack of talent: surprisingly, she’s quite a decent musician, but her personality… Oh, she’s rally nice and friendly. As long as you don’t stand in her spotlight. You DO NOT wanna stand in her spotlight. When she heard somebody was organizing a Last sim standing challenge, she had to sign in: becoming famous is worth dying for!

(Sim and blurb by @oswanily)

8: Milo Rees​

Milo Rees is the son of two extremely rich and wealthy sims who appears to be a successful artist. One problem, though… he doesn’t actually want to do any of the work needed to be an artist. He just wants to party and enjoy the finer things in life without having to work for them, so his parents forge artworks for him and sell them under his name. Honestly, his number one reason for signing up for this challenge is that it gets his parents off his back about actually working on his painting skills for a while.

(Sim and blurb by @blackfern)

Those are our contestants! Which begs the question… who do you think will be the Last Sim Standing?

Vote here!

(You won’t win anything if you guess correctly, I’m just super interested in who the fan favourite will be. :D You can vote as often as you like, no restrictions!)

The game starts soon… ⏱

[Review the challenge rules here!]

#TS4 Last Sim Standing Challenge #Last Sim Standing Challenge #TS4 LSSC #LSSC #TS4 Challenge #TS4 Gameplay #TS4 #S4 #The Sims 4 #Sims 4 #tw: death

[galli-writes]

(Click here to read on Ao3!)

fandom: Teen Titans

pairing: BBRae

genre/warnings: AU - Canon Divergence; Implied/Referenced Abuse, Abusive Parents, Childhood Trauma, Graphic Depictions of Violence

additional tags: Angst, Family Issues, Friendship/Love, Protectiveness, Slow Burn, Romance, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions

summary:

There are a few things that Beast Boy knows for certain:

He’s 21….and a total lightweight. He’s a vegan (but not like…a pretentious vegan). He’s not going to be single forever.

And the Teen Titans are the only family he’ll ever need.

a/n: Hello everyone! I am finally back--though in a way I guess I never really left. I've been working on this fic on an off since I last posted, but things have been so busy that it's been rather slow going. I'm going to try REALLY hard to keep to a more consistent schedule going forward. The fic is entirely written, but needs some pretty heavy editing. I'm going to shoot for an upload every other Friday from here on out. Thank you all so much for being patient!

Chapter 5: A Helping Hand (words 6,264)

It wasn’t often that Beast Boy played hooky. At least, not when he thought there was a good chance Robin would catch him. Skipping practice was a serious no-go, outside of a few exceptions. Beast Boy knew he wasn’t a good enough actor to feign sickness. The ‘family emergency’ excuse existed strictly as a formality for obvious reasons. Reasons that were starting to seem less obvious now. 

The letter in his drawer was already old news--at least to him. Beast Boy knew the contents of the note by heart. The memorization wasn’t intentional, but the words swam around in his head constantly nonetheless. A symptom of a much larger disease, as Raven might have put it. So he’d moved on to obsessively deconstructing and reconstructing the many packages that still littered their living room. Not that doing so had given him any more insight into who Nicholas Galtry was. Or why he had had possession of all of his parents’ things. Or why they were here now. Among the many disjointed thoughts that rattled in his brain, one consistently nudged its way to the top of the pool. That one was also tucked neatly away in a drawer in his room. Though he hadn’t dared to look at the picture since first putting it there.

Beast Boy glanced behind him at the clock in the kitchen. He’d been here an hour already--someone was probably already out looking for him, Robin’s orders. He quickly shut the box he was currently sorting through. It had been the same as all the boxes before it--filled with priceless, nameless items from another place and another time. He felt like a thief, searching his own belongings, not knowing what exactly he hoped to find among them. Each time carefully packing the boxes back as he’d found them. Like a thief, hoping to cover his tracks.

“There you are.”

Beast Boy flinched, instantly shrinking back from the box in front of him. He turned around to face Cyborg looming over him.

“Man, I’ve been lookin’ for you everywhere ,” Cyborg said, a twinge of frustration in his voice. “What the hell are you doin’ up here?”

“Nothing,” Beast Boy said, anxiously getting to his feet. “Just...hanging out.”

Cyborg frowned. “Well maybe you should come ‘hang out’ at training.”

“Training?” Beast Boy repeated automatically.

“Yeah, you know...the thing we have scheduled every single afternoon? At the exact same time? Every day?” Cyborg said, cocking an eyebrow at him. Now he seemed more confused than frustrated—a switch that was very typically Cyborg.

“Right. Training. I was wondering where everyone else was,” Beast Boy answered. It was a poor excuse, but it wasn’t actually a lie.

Cyborg sighed, but there was a hint of a joking smile on his face when he spoke next. “Let’s just get down there before Robin kicks both our asses, okay?”

Beast Boy nodded, and for a moment it was as if the boxes behind him ceased to exist. It currently felt like there were two worlds jammed under one roof, and now that he’d been pulled out of the one behind him, he saw just how much he preferred the one in front of him. Even if it meant getting his ass kicked.

The training field had come a long way from the public school playground it resembled when they’d first settled into the Tower. It was Robin’s ongoing project--adding another ropes course, integrating fully automated sparring dummies...there were even obstacles designed with each of their abilities in mind. Beast Boy was sure that Robin had a Pinterest board dedicated to the fiasco for all of the crazy things he was constantly adding to it.

Which is why Beast Boy was confused to find that none of it was being used.

“Oh no. Don’t tell me--”

“Yep,” Cyborg said, walking the opposite direction of Robin’s martial arts art display.

“Dude, I suck at hand to hand.”

“Probably why Robin thinks you ditched,” Cyborg shrugged.

In the distance, their three remaining teammates were gathered in a clearing at the opposite end of the field. Starfire stood leaning against a tree on the sidelines, water bottle in hand. In the center of a well-worn patch of grass, Robin and Raven circled each other in what seemed to be a never-ending dance.

“So when you said Robin was gonna kick my ass...you meant that literally, didn’t you?” Beast Boy said with a frown.

“Well it might not be Robin who kicks your ass,” Cyborg smiled. “It could be Star, or Raven, or yours truly.”

“Wow, thanks,” Beast Boy grumbled. He knew Cyborg was only teasing, and Beast Boy had been the first to admit that the skillset wasn’t exactly his strong suit. But the remark lingered in his mind a second longer than he knew it should have.

“Okay, so maybe it’s not really your thing, but hey,” Cyborg said, placing a hand on Beast Boy’s shoulder. “Practice makes perfect. You’ll get there.”

“Dude. I turn into animals for a living. Most of which don’t even have opposable thumbs,” Beast Boy said, flexing his own in front of his friend. “I don’t need to be good at something I’m never gonna use.”

Cyborg merely shook his head dismissively. “Never say never, man.”

“Okay, Robin ,” Beast Boy replied with a smirk.

As if on cue, Robin and Raven’s dance came to a halt as soon as the words left Beast Boy’s mouth. He had figured they were still out of earshot, but maybe he’d been wrong.

“There you two are,” Robin said as the two of them stepped into the loosely defined dirt ring. He glanced down at his watch and then directly at Beast Boy. “Beast Boy, you’re twenty minutes late. Practice starts at four. You know that.”

Any trace of teasing Cyborg had expressed instantly evaporated when Robin spoke.

“Uh...four-twenty blaze it?” Beast Boy said with a shrug and a terribly awkward smile. The one that always appeared on his face whenever he didn’t know what else to say--which was more often than he would have liked to admit.

Robin closed his eyes, raising a hand to his temples.

Raven’s facepalm was much less subtle.

“Starfire are you ready to go?” Robin asked, shaking his head slightly.

“Mmm hmm!” Starfire hummed in response.

“Great. Then I’m gonna have you and Beast Boy up next.”

“Uh…” Beast boy shot a glance at Starfire, who was practically the living portrait of an Instagram athlete. “Shouldn’t I warm up first or something?”

“In a real fight, you won’t always get the chance to ‘warm up’ beforehand,” Robin said, crossing his arms over his chest. Which was definitely his way of saying ‘that’s what you get for showing up late’.

“Don’t worry, Beast Boy,” Starfire smiled. “I will try not to injure you too terribly.”

Beast Boy certainly began to feel warm now, to the point where he was sure his face was turning red.

In his peripheral, he saw that Cyborg had cleared the training ring and was now standing beside Raven on the sidelines. She leaned in slightly to her left, whispering something into Cyborg’s ear with a devious smirk.  

Beast Boy felt his stomach drop. He didn’t know what was worse. Starfire’s complete sincerity or Raven’s total lack thereof.

But he didn’t have much time to dwell on the thought before it was overtaken completely by a harrowing sense of panic. He had been posed for a fight, staring head on at his partner. But it was only now that his vision snapped back into focus, just in time to catch a whirling ball of green energy headed directly toward him.

He quickly swerved out of the way, trying to regain his balance. But before he could find his footing, another blaze shone at his feet, knocking him straight to the ground. He squinted, eyes beginning to water from the dust cloud that now surrounded him. He wanted to open his mouth to say something--make some complaint that he hadn’t been ready, that there had been no signal to start. But he knew that wouldn’t buy him any sympathy in Robin’s eyes.  

Of course, vying for Robin’s attention was even less of a no-go once the sirens started blaring.

Without so much as a nod from the leader in question, everyone took off in the same direction. Everyone except Beast Boy, who was still on the ground.

He pushed himself to his feet, the palms of his hands stinging against the soil. He knew it wasn’t personal. None of this was personal. Kind of like how the sense of isolation and strangeness he’d felt around his friends since the reading that letter certainly wasn’t personal .

But as he watched them disappearing now--not one of them looking back to see if he had followed--it sure felt that way.

So what if calling shotgun was more important than helping him up? He shook his head, now unable to hold back a self-satisfied smirk. No matter how much of a head start they had, no one was going to outrun a cheetah.

Within seconds, the ground flew under his feet like a treadmill set on max speed. When the garage came into view, Beast Boy was relieved to find that it was already open--and more importantly empty. In a flash, he transformed back, and with the same proud smile lingering on his face sauntered over to crack open the passenger door.

His smile instantly disappeared when he saw who was behind it.

“ Raven ?”

Even at her name, she didn’t so much as shoot him a glance. Raven just sat there, comfortably nestled in the passenger seat with her feet kicked up on the dashboard. She scrolled through her phone with a bored expression--like she’d been there for hours.

“How the hell did you beat me?” Beast Boy blurted out, feeling irrationally annoyed as Raven continued to sit there, chewing a piece of gum in silence.

“Want a piece?” she said absentmindedly, materializing a pack of DoubleMint from the locked glove box. There were dozens of other flavors inside--so many packs that they filled almost half the compartment.  “It’s Cyborg’s secret stash--but I won’t tell.”

Beast Boy ignored her. “There’s no way you could have beaten me here. I took a shortcut even you don’t know about,” he said curtly.

“Weird, huh?” she said, turning her attention back to her phone. “It’s almost like magic. ”

Beast Boy frowned. “That’s cheating.”

“And you turning into a cheetah clearly isn’t,” she said plainly. Then another sly smile crept onto her face. “Get it? A cheetah ?”

Beast Boy’s face scrunched up in even further annoyance. Without a word, he shut the passenger door, opening the one behind it. He already knew which seat he’d be directed to sit in. Though even calling it a seat was a bit generous. Nevertheless, he’d occupied it since day one because, of course, ‘he was the shortest and it just made sense for him to ride in the middle because if they were ever in a crash the height of the headrest wouldn’t do anyone else any good blah blah blah’. As if something as normal as a car crash would really be enough to injure a bunch of superheroes.  

“Alright, let’s get this show on the road,” Cyborg said, swinging open the door to the driver’s seat and hopping inside.

As the doors on either side of him opened and closed in perfect sync, Beast Boy was struck with another harrowing consequence of his seating arrangement.  

It was true that Robin and Starfire were relatively tame as far as couples went--at least in terms of explicit PDA.  It was only once in a blue moon that you actually caught them exchanging so much as a kiss on the cheek. But there was no denying the magnetic force between them. And it was times like these that Beast Boy felt less like a person and more like a glitch jamming the radio signal.

“Okay,” Robin said, flicking open the communication device on his wrist. A small holographic map appeared above it, marking several heat signatures as they traversed the grid on the screen. In an instant, an identical image appeared on a screen in the center console of the car.

“Looks like they’ve already hit Gorman street,” Cyborg said, glancing at the center console.  

“They’re moving fast,” Robin added, adjusting something on the device. “But only because they’ve sacrificed numbers for speed”.

“Well let’s just see if they can outrun this, ” Cyborg replied, revving the engine in response. Within moments, the Tower was far behind them.

Beast Boy leaned forward slightly to look out the window on his left. They hadn’t been driving long at all, but he had no idea where they were. Left and right, worn down warehouse buildings lined the streets as far as he could see. Overhead, a thick gray fog swallowed the entire sky.

“Starfire, I want you and Cy to go after the group of three heading west,” Robin continued, pointing to several figures on the map as he spoke. “I’ll go after the solo. Raven, Beast Boy—you two track the pair heading in the opposite direction.”

Raven didn’t outwardly protest, but her agitated sigh was enough to send its intended message.  

After what seemed like only a second later, the car skidded to a halt at the edge of a narrow alley. And without missing a beat, everyone else took off in their respective directions at full speed. This time Beast Boy could confidently blame the middle seat for keeping him a step behind.

“I’ll race ya,” Beast Boy said, throwing a competitive smile at Raven, who had surprisingly seemed to be waiting for him.

“Just hurry up,” she said plainly, looking to the sky.

The streets seemed even more bleak from above.

Every other street light flickered as if choking out its dying breath. Cracks ran down the sidewalks like jagged scars, and chipped paint and graffiti adorned the walls of the decrepit buildings. Beast Boy found himself wondering where everyone was--there were barely even any cars on the streets.

“Ow!” Raven exclaimed suddenly.

Simultaneously, Beast Boy felt his wings crumple under him as he crashed into her from behind. He screeched involuntarily, trying to regain his balance.

“Why are we stopping?” he asked--or rather squawked--momentarily forgetting he was still very much a bird.

Luckily, Raven seemed to get the idea. Without a word, she pointed to two shadowy figures slipping around the corner of a nearby building. She started to open her mouth to say something then, but Beast Boy was already locking in on the figures below.

Without a second thought, he dove sharply down toward one of the shadows in his sight. Talons poised, he only managed to graze the top of his target’s head. Or at least what he could think of as being the thing’s head, as the action felt more like skimming a silhouette than an actual person.

At the very least, the surprise of his attack was enough to knock the figure off balance and trip on some debris below.

Beast Boy landed nearby, skidding onto the asphalt. Back on two legs, he whipped around and morphed once more. A rhino was always a solid play when you didn’t quite know what you were dealing with. He kicked up the rubble under his front foot and ducked his head, preparing for a  running start. Then he let his momentum carry him forward--feeling the power of an entire stampede in his muscles--which turned out to be much more than he bargained for.

It was like the wall came out of nowhere. Or maybe he just hadn’t looked before leaping. Though his horn mdulled the impact slightly, Beast Boy felt every shard of cement as the crash sent a shocking ripple through his entire body. When he opened his eyes, he was back to his usual self again. But unlike a moment ago, his head was spinning, and he was on his back watching the dark clouds rolling above. His vision had doubled, even tripled, and he shook his head wearily in an attempt to focus on anything at all. Instead, he saw the shaking image of someone approaching him. And his gut told him it wasn’t one of the people they were after. It was something much worse.

“What the fuck was that?” Raven said, leaning over him with a disapproving pout on her face.

“Rhino,” was all Beast Boy could manage, his head still spinning.

Raven scowled, but extended a hand out to him regardless. When she yanked him to his feet in one swift motion, the gesture suddenly felt less sympathetic.

“We’re supposed to be working together , moron,” she said, her tone biting. “How the hell are we supposed to do that if you knock yourself out before we even catch up to the bad guys?”

Beast Boy didn’t have an answer for that. So he didn’t give one, which probably didn’t help his case any more.

“God, you’re useless,” Raven said, grabbing his wrist and dragging him behind him. “Come on.”  

They continued down the natural path of the alleyway uneventfully. And that was what worried Beast Boy most. If he wasn’t going to die at the hands of their enemies, he was sure he’d die of embarrassment knowing he’d let them get away. Again.

Luckily for him, if Raven had any more thoughts on the matter she kept them to herself.

When they reached what seemed to be the end of the narrow street, Beast Boy was somewhat relieved to find that it wasn’t the dead end he had been expecting. Rather, the space before them now opened dramatically into something resembling a large courtyard. The entire perimeter was lined by walls of surrounding brick buildings--the only other entrances and exits to the pavilion being opposing alleyways much like the one they’d just emerged from.

But the courtyard’s strange location certainly wasn’t the most interesting thing about it.

In the very center, shrouded by a cloud of steam trickling through a nearby grate, two figures turned abruptly to meet their gaze. Even though Beast Boy could hardly make out the eyes looking back at them, he knew their stare was a threat.

“Don’t do anything stupid,” Raven said quietly, lingering in the shadows for a moment longer.

The words echoed in Beast Boy’s head, this time in his own voice. Then a wave of panic suddenly passed over him. He wasn’t actually sure he knew the difference between what was considered brave and what Raven would consider stupid. And he didn’t exactly have the time to mull it over.  

Raven stood next to him, arms outstretched, as a flurry of flying rubble began to swirl around the two figures like a vicious tornado. Everything pulled toward them like scrap metal to a magnetic core--everything from the pebbles on the ground to full sized wooden beams and crates that littered the edges of the arena.

Beast Boy searched desperately through this mind for something to do--something to be. A mouse? Small enough to go unnoticed, but way too slow to bridge the gap between the opposing sides in such a short time. He thought to the opposite end of the spectrum. A gorilla or a bear could give him a boost of much needed strength if he cut back on speed. But maybe that was too on the nose. Just like the rhino.

He bit his lip nervously, catching Raven in his peripheral again. They were supposed to be working together after all--and she had clearly taken the lead. But he had no idea how she expected him to follow.

And suddenly, it occurred to Beast Boy that that was the secret to the riddle. The one way he could truly and certainly ‘not do something stupid’ was by not doing anything at all.

For a moment, he was almost proud of himself for finally cracking the code. But the false sense of pride evaporated as soon as he realized what it implied. Maybe his only use was...being completely useless? And just like that, he felt his stomach twist in a knot again as a familiar sense of embarrassment washed over him.

“Hellooo?” Raven’s voice rang out suddenly, snapping Beast Boy out of his daze.

He turned to look at her, finding her in the same position, teeth clenched and arms shaking ever so slightly as she held her pose.  

“I said not to do anything stupid ,” she snarled. “Not ‘don’t do anything at all’!”

Beast Boy blinked hard, absorbing her words--the hint of need in her voice, however faint. And suddenly, miraculously, his feeling of uncertainty disappeared as quickly as it had come.

In a flash he was a mighty T-Rex, half as tall as the building behind him. Charging forward, he reached down and fished out one of the criminals from the fading cyclone. Grabbing the figure by the arm, he swung them into the adjacent wall with ease, a cloud of dust gathering upon the point of contact. A hit that would probably kill the average person; but Beast Boy knew that right now he was just buying time.

From the corner of his eye, he caught the second figure starting to pull out a small radio, shielding it from the winds as they spoke into the device.

But before they could utter more than a sentence or two, Beast Boy spun around, sweeping them off their feet completely with his enormous tail. The person went flying at a ninety degree angle from the last, and he watched as the body hit the crumbling wall with a ‘definitely unconscious’ crash.

Morphing back, Beast Boy stood tall, admiring his work.

Raven appeared beside him a moment later, surveying the scene.

“Not bad, huh?”

“I warmed them up for you,” Raven said matter-of-factly. But Beast Boy couldn’t stop himself from brandishing another self-satisfied smirk.

Raven automatically went over to the first fallen figure, pushing directly past him as she went. Beast Boy took the hint and headed the opposite direction, preparing to inspect the second wreckage site hound dog style.

Bombarded by a multitude of different scents, he realized that he wasn’t exactly sure what he was looking for. He hoped he would know it when he came across it. And he did--when something cold and metallic brushed up against his nose.

With an obnoxious sneeze that sent his floppy ears soaring, Beast Boy took a step back from the dust cloud he had created in front of him. He squinted, coming back up on the area after the dust had settled to find a small coin-like silver disc buried in the ground. But it looked incomplete somehow, like it was only one half of a whole, given several small divots on the surface of the disc. And there was something else mixed in with the scent of the cool metal. Something thick and tangy. He followed the scent further until he found its source.

“Uh...Raven?” He hesitated, instinctively pulling back from the spot it had led him to.

Directly at his feet, the second figure lay face down in the rubble. Their clothing made it difficult to tell what kind of injuries they sustained, but there was blood. Lots of blood.

At the top of the neck, just under their hairline, a perfect silver circle was embedded in the skin--a corresponding piece almost identical to the one on the ground a few yards away. Except this one was covered in miniature circuits and drenched in the dark red liquid oozing from underneath it.

Beast Boy quickly turned back to pick up the first piece and compare the two. He was certain they had once made a single whole. But the half he inspected in his hand seemed to be no more than the covering to the blood caked battery beneath. There was some writing on it though--and maybe that could tell him something .

In a moment, Raven was beside him again, abandoning her less interesting finds at the other end of the courtyard.

“What is it?” She asked, leaning over to try and get a better look at the item in Beast Boy’s hand.

“I don’t know,” he replied, squinting at the object as he tried to make out the markings engraved on its surface. “A...R...S…,” he read slowly. “It looks like there’s more but I can’t make it out.”

Raven extended her hand, and Beast Boy automatically dropped it into her palm for a second opinion.

“Whoever these people are, they must have something to do with that break in,” she said, flipping the silver piece over in her hand. “I guess Robin was right.”

Beast Boy looked down at the body again with a frown.

“Okay, but we still don’t have any more of an idea what they’re after.”

Raven didn’t say anything. She just stood over the body, staring at it intently--in a way that suggested more than just superficial intrigue.

Suddenly, the small metal badge embedded in the figure’s skin was enveloped in a purple haze, and Beast Boy watched in horror as it began to peel away from the flesh underneath like a perfect silver scab. Leaving behind a gruesome red ring of skin, it slowly floated up and over into Raven’s open pocket.

Beast Boy swallowed hard at the sight, a bitter taste in the back of his mouth. For a split second, he was worried he was about to revisit breakfast in the worst way.  

“Dude...what the fuck ?” he said, eyes darting between the site of the impromptu surgery and Raven’s slightly blood stained pocket. “That’s nasty.”

Raven didn’t even blink. “Yeah, well so are you and Robin still keeps you around so...”

Beast Boy took a step back from the scene, the scent still of blood still lingering a little too strongly for his liking. And after watching Raven pull off something like that without so much as a moan or a grunt from the disc’s owner, he wasn’t so certain the victims were just napping anymore. He tried not to think too much about the potential fate of the person at his feet. He hated the possibility of pushing that boundary--even if they were ‘the bad guys’.

“You know, that actually wasn’t too bad,” Beast Boy said suddenly. His laugh was stifled and unconvincing, but he knew Raven wouldn’t likely acknowledge his discomfort, which was a bit of a relief in its own right. Regardless, he turned on his heel and made a purposeful decision to start walking away from the scene in hopes that she would naturally follow. Luckily, she did.  

“The fight? Or having to be alone with you for more than five minutes?” She said, overtaking him by a step or two. “Because if you’re referring to the latter I’m gonna have to disagree.”

“I mean, but it works. We work. Sometimes,” Beast Boy said, though he was unsure why he was still talking. “It’s like...you know,” he droned on as they walked. “Like oil and vinegar.”

Raven noticeably began to slow her pace. “Like what ?”

“Oil and vinegar. You know. It’s like our flavor ,” Beast Boy said, making some attempt to clarify with a hand gesture.

It was here Raven stopped completely, turning to face him.

“ This ,” she said gesturing between them in return, “is not a flavor .”

Beast Boy shrugged, crossing his arms over his chest. “Well I still think it’s a good metaphor.”

“Why? Raven replied, mimicking his pose. “Because we can’t stand being together and naturally repel each other?”            

“Buuuuut,” Beast Boy added pointedly, “sometimes when you put us together you get an affordable and delicious salad dressing.”

Raven paused. She closed her eyes, raising her hand to her temple in a deep, meditative stillness before opening her mouth to speak. “You know, sometimes I really wonder how I haven’t killed you by now. Even accidentally.”

Beast Boy frowned. “Just to be clear, you’re the vinegar in this situation.”

The two began to walk again, but Beast Boy only made it a few steps before Raven thrust a hand out in front of him, stopping him mid-stride. And this time it didn’t seem to be because of anything he’d said.

“What?” he blurted out stupidly. At least this time Raven would be able to understand him.

Raven was completely still for a moment longer, her eyes slowly scanning the area around them. “You didn’t hear that?” she said quietly.

“Hear what?” Beast Boy said, again the words feeling stupid and redundant the moment he uttered them.

“Something other than the sound of your own voice,” Raven said under her breath.

Beast Boy looked all around them, just as Raven had. But he didn’t see anything. Let alone hear anything out of the ordinary.

“You’re just being paranoid,” he said, lightly pushing her arm back down to her side. “There were only two of them. You saw on Robin’s map.”

Raven didn’t seem too comforted by the reminder.

Beast Boy moved slightly to meet her gaze, which was focused somewhere far off in the distance. “I’m tellin’ ya. Oil and vinegar.”

Then, with a little more force than he expected, Raven pushed pushed past him and began to walk again.  

“Where are you going?” Beast Boy said, somewhat startled.

“Home.”

“Didn’t you wanna sweep the area first?”

“Not if it means twenty more minutes of this,” Raven said, waving her hand dismissively. “Besides, I’m just being ‘paranoid’.”

“Okay, well so much for working together then I guess,” Beast Boy said, rolling his eyes.

Raven shot him a look over her shoulder. Then, in an instant, she froze, eyes growing wide as she opened her mouth to say something.

But Beast Boy beat her to it.

He wasn’t sure the noise he made was completely human, even if the small blade twirling in the dirt just past him hadn’t completely hit its mark. He bit his lip to keep himself from another outburst. It had only grazed the side of his calf, but that was enough to bring him to one knee. He knew that if it had hit him the way it had been intended, he’d be on the ground.

Suddenly, everything around him was engulfed in shadow--and Beast Boy wondered if this was what people meant when they talked about ‘blacking out’. He really hoped that wasn’t what was happening. Not in front of Raven of all people. And not over a glorified paper cut .  

A moment later, finding he was still very much conscious, Beast Boy was relieved to find that Raven was the source of the shadowy dome that now surrounded them on all sides. But the relief didn’t last long.

Beyond the opaque screen of darkness, there was a ceaseless blur of motion. Hundreds of tiny silver sparks rebounded off the outer edge, like hail raining down in a terrible storm.

Beast Boy glanced up at Raven from where he knelt on the ground. She was gritting her teeth, brow furrowed and eyes aglow. She didn’t so much as blink when he looked at her, which wasn’t a good sign.

He looked around frantically. Every direction depicted the same terrible scene. Every direction—except for one. It was only now that he noticed how soft the earth was underneath him. How the asphalt of the alleyways seemed to melt away as they worked their way toward the center of the courtyard. And that gave him an idea. An idea Beast Boy didn’t allow himself to think through.

There was something reassuring about being so close to the ground. But the transformation into a badger probably hadn’t been the best for his wound. His leg was starting to ache even more now, and he realized that would probably make digging all the more difficult.  

But before he could test his hypothesis, a voice rang out over the crackling of bullets, clear and strong and demanding to be heard.

“Do you have a death wish?,” Raven yelled, her voice cutting above the static.  

“What do you think?” Beast Boy said, instantly morphing back. The words came out as sharp as the blades whirling around them.

“Well I guess it’s a good thing gophers are bulletproof ,” Raven said with a laugh dripping with anything but humor.

“ Badgers . It’s a badger .” Beast Boy could feel the adrenaline pulsing in his veins like wildfire--even though he knew the reaction was unwarranted, especially given the more concerning matters at hand.

“Really bad time for an argument, Beast Boy. Really bad time,” Raven bit back.

For a split second, Beast Boy thought of going ahead with his plan anyway. Then it occurred to him that he’d probably already used up what little luck he had for the day.

“Okay, so what’s your bright idea?” he said, struggling to hide the growing annoyance in his voice. But all things considered, he really hoped she had one.

“Not dying. That’s my plan,” she said, shutting her eyes tightly.  

Beast Boy looked around nervously--though he wasn’t sure what he was looking for.  

“Can’t you just...teleport us out or something?” he said, biting his lip.

“Teleportation or force field. You get one .”

The second Raven spoke though, she was interrupted by a noise that overtook even the hammering of the bullets around them. The short metallic pings were swapped for one firework-like explosion, the ground beneath them trembling just enough to make Beast Boy second guess his balance. From the looks of it, their attackers hadn’t been so lucky.

The bullets raining down on them slowed to a drizzle--then seemed to stop completely after a few stray shots. But not because the remaining gunmen had ceased fire. Rather, the firing now seemed to be directed somewhere else entirely.

Before Beast Boy could figure out where everyone else had turned their attention, his own focus was redirected again as he felt something cold on his wrist. A hand, gripping onto him with what felt like an unnecessary amount of force.  

Beast Boy felt the ground sway beneath him again uneasily until it disappeared completely, the hard dirt and asphalt replaced by rough gray concrete. When the scene before him came into a clear focus, his stomach lurched. With a primal desperation, he reached out, searching for the hand that had just let go of him. Now he was the one holding on like his life depended on it.  

In front of him now was a perfect aerial snapshot of the pavilion. They had to be at least ten stories up, given the size of the figures below them.

“Um…”

Beast Boy looked up, heart still pounding, though he wasn’t sure the vertigo was responsible for the anxiety he felt now.

Raven was staring at him--or rather their hands intertwined--with a clear level of discomfort. What kind, Beast Boy couldn’t tell.

“You can let go of my hand now,” she said slowly.

Beast Boy flinched, releasing her hand from his own as quickly as he had grabbed it. His knuckles were stiff, flushed by the strain of his grip.

An awkward beat of silence passed between them, broken only when Raven turned to grab something from her pocket.

“What are you doing?” Beast Boy asked, terribly conscious of the slight crack in his voice.

“Calling Robin,” Raven replied, an audible ring echoing from the blood-spotted comms device now resting in her hand.

The two waited for another excruciatingly long moment until the ringing came to an abrupt, unanswered halt.

“I guess he’s busy,” Beast Boy shrugged. But something snagged in his stomach at the thought. Robin probably was very busy. But Beast Boy wasn’t sure he really believed that was why he hadn’t picked up. He took out his own pager anxiously, already flipping through the contacts on the main screen. “Lemme try Cyborg.”

The dial tone cut off after the first ring.

Raven paused for a moment then looked up at him. “I don’t even have a signal.”

Beast Boy looked down at the device in his own hand. Neither did he. “Huh. Well that’s...weird.”

“Yeah,” Raven said, a definitive frown forming on her lips. “And that’s not the only thing that’s a little weird.”

As she spoke, Raven stared down at the pavilion below them, unblinking. She seemed intently focused on...something. But Beast Boy wasn’t entirely sure that it was the fight happening on the ground. A fight that was becoming increasingly hard to follow, even for someone who was trying to keep up with it.

Beast Boy scanned the turf once, then again through the eyes of a hawk, hoping for a better view. Squinting beyond the cloud of dust, he finally was able to hone in on the action--and more importantly, their attackers’ new target.  

The man stood out like a current rolling on a still sea. Rather than trying to dodge the attacks of his pursuers, he danced through the waves with an impossible accuracy, almost as if he were intentionally trying to attract their shots. And he did--like hungry flies to a show horse. Only he never seemed to get bitten. The flies bit themselves. They bit each other. Falling one after the other around him as they continued to follow him further and further away from the center of the pavilion.

Just before the man disappeared into the shadows of the opposite alleyway, Beast Boy finally caught a glimpse of his face amongst the swarming insects--his shiny black hair and toothless grin glistening in the artificial night.

#bbrae #bbrae fanfiction #beast boy teen titans #raven teen titans #dc #i still don't know how to properly use tags lol

[youngdreamer3214]

Could you do 18 from the prompt list with Speedy and Raven

Assume Standard Disclaimer

Tumblr Prompt #18. “You weren’t there for me when I needed you the most.” Warning- Angst, Hurt with little comfort Pairing- Speedy and Raven

(A/N- This is written in Raven’s point of view. Please be gentle it is my first time writing a piece of this sort.)

I hope you enjoy reading this.

0O0O

My vision started to blur, heartbeats slowed down and in that moment I was lost, confused, sad and hurt. So deeply hurt that I felt as though all life was seeping out of my veins and at an excruciatingly slow pace, reminding me of everything I had gone through, what I had lost, something which I never had. A tear slips down my cheek as my breathing becomes uneven and blood gushes out of my wounds.

As I laid in the middle of the ruins, sirens blaring in the background, my friends screaming in the background trying to get to me, all I could think about were his parting words to me.

Call me a masochist but all I could think about was his painfully beautiful smile, his breathtakingly enchanting emerald eyes which would never look at me the way that I wanted, like how I looked at him.

Maybe it was because I was not pretty enough, not funny enough, not interesting enough or just not enough for him. Or maybe it was because I was not her.

She, who is his priority, the one for whom his smiles are directed to, the one who he always looks at, the one for whom he leave everything behind, even me.

My breath hitches in my throat as a ray of light falls on my face and fresh air embraces every inch of the room and hope takes birth in my heart seeing a domino masked face. Maybe he came for me? Maybe I am his priority? Maybe he hadn’t forgotten about me?

But as people rush in the room, everything becomes stuffy, cramped. The light is blocked and all hope dies as I see black hair instead of his beautiful fiery hair. I realize with defeat, cursing myself to be an idiot for having hope that he would come for me. All hope leaves my body as my leader and friend picks me up in his arms cautiously saying something that I cannot hear, all I can see is his lips moving before everything starts to blur and my world goes dark.

0O0O0

I hear voices as I slowly drift into consciousness, my eyes slowly adapting to the brightness of the... med bay? I groan as my head starts to throb and my throat feels dry.

“W-water.” I manage to croak out and everything around me falls silent except for the constant beeping of the heart monitor. I see my best friend Richard rush to get water as Cyborg with great care help me sit up while Beastboy keeps pillows behind my back. Starfire hovers around me with a worried expression on her face. I see my team filling the room as my eyes slowly open fully and without hurting.

And my heart starts to ache when I don’t see the archer in the room, confirming what I already know, that he doesn’t care enough for me to be here.

I try to shift my focus from him to my friends, who I am so grateful to have in my life and offer them a smile full of gratefulness as I see the relief on their faces.

“You scared us there, Rae…” Richard says with relief evident on his face as he pulls a chair to sit next to my bed after helping me drink water.

“Yeah, don’t do that to us again please…or who would save us from greenie’s jokes?” Cyborg, my dear big brother said trying to lighten the serious mood but I could feel the high levels of relief emitting from him. Beastboy agreed till he realized the remark made at him and gave an offended, making me laugh inwardly “Hey! Raven loves my jokes…don’t you, Raven?”

I just gave an unimpressed look to him, trying to hide my smile as my mind shifted to my friends and how thankful I was that I had them in my life.

It was not until later that Cyborg told me that I had suffered from several wounds, some of them being burns and a fractured leg but the most worrisome was the wound on my head which was the reason I had difficulty healing myself and the reason why I was in critical condition until and unless I woke up.

He advised me to not move out of the med bay for at least till tomorrow and that for at least three weeks (depending on my healing) I was to not take part in fighting crime. The latter to which I protested relentlessly but my friends were firm on this decision and I ultimately gave up when Starfire gave me her watery eyes.

I sighed and my eyes started to become droopy, the medicine showing its effect so I leaned back in the pillows and Cyborg ushered everyone out of the room seeing my state, Starfire gave me a huge but gentle hug. Well the gentlest she could be and left. Cyborg and Beastboy followed suit with the former making promises of waffles for breakfast and the latter with of a protein filled vegan breakfast at which Cyborg hit his head as they both walked out playfully fighting.

Now only Richard was left. With him only in the room my mask had no meaning; he was my best friend, my leader and the one who I trusted most in the world. He knew about my feelings for the archer and he knew all the pain I suffered because of it.

The pain of loving someone who could never see me that way, who could never think of me in that way, who could never return my feelings.

We sat in silence for a while, the beeping of the heart monitor being the only sound in the room when I asked in a low voice “Did he call?”

A small, quiet ‘no’ was my answer and I chuckled painfully, a couple of tears welling up in my eyes as I heard what my best friend had to add “Maybe he didn’t get the message…or maybe-”

“He doesn’t care.” My dejected admission stole all the words out of his mouth and he stared at me with pity, which I hated. I don’t need anybody’s pity or sympathy. So before he could say anything I looked at him and whispered, my voice coming out shakier than I would have liked “I am t-tired.”

He saw the turmoil underneath my facade like he always did, and left after wishing me a good night. I closed my eyes, hoping for sleep to take me away from the nightmares of reality.

0O0

Days passed as my body was recovering from its injuries unlike my heart which still remained broken, breaking more with each day passing when he didn’t call.

My friends noticed this as they constantly tried to divert my mind to other matters. Richard would ask me to help him in battle strategies, Starfire would make me watch some show that was trending and Cyborg would just talk with me, carefully avoiding any topic which may hurt me.

But the most puzzling of all was Beastboy, who would transform into a kitten and just lay next to me, napping or lightly purring as I gave him scratches, just offering me his support and comfort. And that was just what I needed; as much as I appreciated the efforts of all my friends, I looked forward to Beastboy’s company the most.

The shapeshifter was the only one of my friends who could understand my pain, the pain of loving someone who could never love you back again. And ever since Terra refused to recognize him, he has carried that pain in his heart; which I can often feel and now relate to.

And it was on one of the days when Beastboy was lying next to me in his cat form while I read when he entered the room, and my breathe hitched in my throat and my heart beats slowed down.

His somehow always impeccable red hair were messy, as though he had run his hand through it a lot; his gorgeous emerald eyes were hidden by his domino mask but even that mask couldn’t hide his anger as his face was flushed and his chest was heaving.

“I need to speak to you Raven” he said, his lips tight and sporting a frown which only deepened as he looked at the changeling next to me and said “Alone.”

Beastboy didn’t say anything; he lightly curled his tail around my hand while staring at the archer, showing his support. He slowly turned and looked at me in question and I lightly nodded my head so he untangled his tail from me, making me suddenly feel so empty and alone, and jumped on the ground and walked out of the room to give us privacy but not before glaring at the archer.

“What is it Speedy?” I asked not looking at him, which seemed to anger him even more as he stomped in my direction till he stood in front of me, his stance intimidating and furious. But I couldn’t bear to look at him. Just being in the same room with him was suffocating me. It was reminding me of what I couldn’t have, what I was not good enough for.

“Do you mind explaining to me, why I found out from Aqualad that you are injured instead of you telling me this yourself?” he seethed. I didn’t say anything and focused my attention on the wall behind him.

He clouded my senses, everything about him was overwhelming me. His extreme and very loud emotions were impacting my empathy, making me unable to think about anything but him.

I stayed silent, unable to say anything with his anger clouding his senses and now fueling my own. “Tell me Raven!” He screamed at the top of his lungs.

“Why did you not tell me? Am I NOTHING to you? Don’t I have the right to know, if my best friend is injured? You are an empath right? Then why do you not care about anyone’s emotions but your own! Why-”

This was the breaking point for me.

I could feel my magic waiting to erupt from my being, my second pair of eyes waiting to open and my demonic heritage wanting to overpower my human self.

“Shut up!” I hissed, my voice laced with my demon’s “You don’t get to speak to me this way, especially after everything that has happened between us.”

My heart ached again, thinking about the day when our relationship changed forever. My demon retreating in the deepest depths of my being as my pain overshadowed everything else.

“You are asking me that why didn’t I tell you about my condition but why weren’t you there for me when all this happened, when I needed you?” his eyes widened at my question.I could feel his anger drain out of his body as everything he said that day and his reason for not being there for me dawned on him.

He shamefully hung his head, the anger seemingly forgotten as he said in a voice just above a whisper “S-she…”

I laughed, cutting him off; of course it was because of her. I cursed myself for thinking that he had another reason for not being there for me. “So don’t accuse me of not caring about anybody else’s emotions, when it was you who had never cared about mine...You weren’t there for me when I needed you the most.”

A tear slipped down my eye as I looked at him saying what I promised to myself would be my last words to him, the man who was my friend, my first love, Roy. “And now I will make sure that I never need you again.” And now he will always be Speedy to me, a fellow titan.

Fin.

Please Read and Review.

Thank you.

#raven #speedyrae #roy harper #royrae #teen titans #angst #unrequited feelings #hurt #dc #dc comics #fanfiction

[alex-fa-ch]

5/52. 10% down! And our second nonbinary state~ 

Their pronouns are strictly they/them

They think they’re such hot shit. And like they’re right but still

Onto the headcanons!

-Nicknames: “Cal”, “Cali”, “The worst person I have ever met” (this one’s Texas specific) 

- Human name: “Callum Sacramento”

- Pansexual, very out and proud and loud about it. Hence the shirt!

- Nonbinary, specifically agender. They/them. But they mostly still present femininely, as that’s their body type and it makes them feel hot

- Celebrates their birthday on June14th, when they declared independence from Mexico

- 6′ 7″

- Power; Can turn anything, including themself, into gold and back. They have learned to do so very very quickly when they catch fire (which is fairly often). If in a fight, they’ll turn their fists to gold to hit harder

- HATES Texas. Texas hates them right back. They might kill each other if left alone for too long. The two of them can also bring state meetings to a grinding halt just to yell at each other. 

- One of the “Big Four”. The four states with the most electoral power: California, Texas, New York, and Florida (in that order). They, along with the other three, are given much more responsibility and are tasked with running state meetings and such.

- Cal and New York often team up to argue again Texas, and maybe Florida if he’s feeling red

- Biggest and hardest leftist in the family. Slightly to the left of Marx himself. They’re rivaled only by Vermont in terms of leftism 

- Was among the first LGBT+ states to come out, right after Massachusetts and New York. 

- VERY proud that they were their own country. It’s like, the only thing they can actually relate to Texas about. 

- Close to Nevada, Oregon, and Washington. In that order. The four of them make up the pacific states. 

- They and Nevada are especially close, and Nevada absolutely adores them

- Physical embodiment of “DO IT FOR THE VINE *seriously injures themself*”

- Lives in LA

- Has it in their head that there’s a “West Coast vs East Coast” rivalry. And often schemes to prove their superiority.         - They often drag the other pacific states along with this         - They truly do not realize that it’s a one sided rivalry because the east coast states are too busy hating each other

- Excellent at any sport that involves standing on a board. Surfing, skateboarding, longboarding, snowboarding, stuff like that. In fact, they occasionally enter competitions and win. They can even go head to head with winter sports heavy states like Colorado and New Hampshire         - In fact, they’re SUPER into fitness and being in shape. They do crossfit and they are SUPER annoying about it. 

- Vegan, and thinks everyone else should be as well. This is a MAJOR point of contention between them and rural states like Montana, who hunt

- Can’t drive. At all. They THINK they can but they are actually one of the worst drivers in the family. Beaten out only by Illinois, New York, and Massachusetts 

- Social activist. They are constantly trying to lead the nation in social change, but they’re usually beaten to the punch by the east coast

- Gets along great with New York. They often visit each other, and sometimes party together

- SUPER cocky and confident. They can actually be seen as vain. Some states theorize it’s to mask deep insecurity, but that’s not entirely true. California just knows their worth and value, and isn’t afraid to show it to the world

- Did not fight in the civil war. One of the few union states who didn’t.         - As such, they never quite held the same grudge against the former confederate states as the rest of the union. Surprisingly, they were the first to extend forgiveness to the former confederate states - including Texas

- During the gold rush, they discovered their power when they personally tried to go mining and a mine collapsed on them. They did find gold, and are still very wealthy as a result 

- Bit of a theater nerd. They are a very good actor, and enjoy playing roles in movies. They can’t actually be an actor all that often, though

- Has a MASSIVE instagram following. But it’s mostly just ~aesthetique~ photos and shit like avocado toast. 

- Does get seriously hurt during earthquakes. The 1906 earthquake actually put them in a coma for a few days

- While English is their official language, their native language is actually Spanish. They speak both fluently, and have absolutely no problem switching. Of the states. they actually speak the most languages. (This is based on demographics).         - In order from most to least proficient:        - Mandarin         - Tagalog and Filipino         - Vietnamese         - Persian         - Armenian         - Arabic        - Hindi         - Russian        - Punjabi         - Japanese         - French, but a different dialect from Louisiana, or Northern New England

- They are very good at singing and love singing. Weirdly enough even though they love to sing and act, they don’t like being in plays and especially not in musicals 

- California is agnostic, and they have better things to worry about. Is there a god? Cali sure as fuck doesn’t know        - However, in a rare moment of kindness between them and Texas, they once asked Texas to show them how to pray. 

- Election season is a fucking shitshow with them. California themself is often pushing for the most left candidate they can find, but the internal politics are a bit of a circus fire. 

- California is fully aware that the western half of America fucking hates them. They try not to care.         - Emphasis on try. It does get to them sometimes. 

- California is also very close to Hawaii, and invites Hawaii to visit them often. When they’re together, they speak Tagalog over English. 

- Of the three nonbinary states, California is the most likely to be misgendered. But they will correct you. Every single time. 

- Like most states, they have a substance problem. On top of being an alcoholic, they are also in just a bit too deep with “party” drugs like molly and cocaine.         - They’ve gone to rehab before, but they always end up back in the same spot. Since it isn’t anything they consider “hard”, they just pretend like they don’t have a problem.         - Nevada, one of the other “partying” states, completely and totally enables this. They often go on epic benders together, trying to outmatch each other. 

- Flirty! Loves to bed people. They have a pretty high body count. They also have a “fun” habit of sleeping with their government officials        - America GREATLY disapproves of this, whenever he finds out. This makes him a hypocrite and no I will not elaborate.

- Under all the partying golden sunny stuff, there is a seriously dark streak. Cal does not shy away from violence, and will even jump at the chance. They and Texas have a very long history of getting a bit too violent with each other.         - And they both fight dirty af with each other. Texas will draw his gun and Cali will go for low blows. 

- Has two tattoos, a standard issue tramp stamp and a cute little bear on the back of their right shoulder 

#statehumans #california #statehumans california #art #my art #my posts #i restarted this like 5 times #BUT IM KINDA HAPPY WITH IT SO

[notagamersdey]

At The Expense of Others

By Tyler D. Ortiz

Rating: T

Word Count: 2k~

Warning: Depictions of physical and mental abuse, gaslighting, slight violence, and bad language

Summary: Derrick Teller is preparing for his first big boxing match when he injures his hand.

~~~

Pain explodes over Derrick’s right cheek as he starts to fall. The force of the punch whips him around, splitting his cheek. The crowd cheers as his body whacks onto the canvas floor. Blurry vision, body out of control, legs feel stiff yet move like pasta. His arms have no strength left. His vision falters, filled with cracked black stars. He tries to get up as a distant countdown fades to nothing.

...

One week earlier, Derrick Teller is at the bag, his powerful punches echoing in the empty gym. His grey shirt clung to his chest, black shorts loose at his waist, old hand wraps providing little protection over his knuckles. He was currently in one of the most prestigious boxing gyms in the city. Marcus, his trainer, ran the joint. The man was old, grumpy, and picky. People outside the gym have warned him about the old trainer. They often warned that he was intense, and selfish; however, Derrick only saw passion and drive. If not for his trainer, he would be in some coke den or dead in a ditch. The older man had practically hand-picked him and molded him into the fighter he was today. If it weren’t for him, he’d be a nobody.

“Jab! Jab! Jab - cross! hook-” the trainer shouted.

Sweat drips from Derrick’s hairline as he followed Marcus’s command. He’s been training as the fight approached. Now, only a week from the event, Marcus prescribed him a daily dose of bag work and cardio. This meant that he was at the gym day and night, beating his knuckles bloody. It was exhausting. Most days, this rigorous training left him unable to walk the stairs to his apartment.

“Ten pushups, on your fists!”

“Weren’t squats before pushups?” Derrick huffs, sweeping the sweat from his eyes.

“Don't question me, Boy. Pushups.”

Dropping to the floor, Derrick's wrists shook as he began his pushups. He closed his eyes and focused on his breathing. Trying to distract himself from the discomfort of his knuckles, he honed in onto the familiar burn in his abdomen.

“Lower!” Marcus commands, standing above Derricks’ head.

“My hands...” The younger man huffs, losing concentration.

“Push,” Marcus said with a forced voice.

Derrick starts to drop lower, slowly, willing his fists to hold his weight. His face clenched in pain as fire travels from his knuckles to his wrist. It became too much. He dropped. Ragged breathing filled his ears as he tried to sit up, holding his hand, rubbing it softly. He looked up at Marcus and was met with red, angry eyes. The older man opened his mouth, prepared to reprimand the young athlete until there was a ding at the front desk. Marcus’ froze at the sound, letting out a frustrated huff before walking off without a word. Derrick felt his shoulders relax. Quickly glancing at the front desk, making sure that the trainer wasn’t looking, he began removing his right wrap. Revealed underneath the worn-out fabric was his hand swollen, dark, and blotchy.

“Baby!”

Wincing, Derrick looked up to see Julie, his girlfriend of a few years, skipping towards him excitedly, with Marcus walking at a slower pace behind her. Her purse bounced as she leapt up to kiss him.

“Are you ready for dinner, Baby? I was thinking we could go to that vegan joint over on Tarvar-” Julie grabs his unwrapped hand excitedly.

“Ow! Julie!” he pulls his hand, but not before her excitement switches to concern.

“Derrick! What the hell?” She gently pulls his hand toward herself, inspecting it. “This doesn’t look normal...”

“Jules, you’re not supposed to be here…” Derrick tried to whisper, avoiding Marcus’s prying eyes as the man drew closer.

“What’s this ‘bout dinner? Your trainin’s not over.” Marcus places his hands at his hips, like a parent disciplining their child.

“He can’t continue with a hand like this…” Julie argues, showing the bruised hand, as the trainer grabs at it, harshly. Derricks nostrils flared as he closed his eyes while the man squeezes his hand roughly.

“This, Baby Doll, is the result of hard work! He’ll heal, and then he’ll be stronger. That’s the way it works.” Marcus scoffs offhandedly.

“He’s been boxing since we got together, and it’s never been like this before…” the girl argues, looking to her boyfriend for support, but Derrick widens his eyes at her, shaking his head, willing her to stop.

“I’m not going to argue with some prissy chick who wails at a broken nail. Get rid of her, Boy. You’re not done yet,” and with that, he walks away from the couple.

Julie scowled, turning to Derrick, “What the hell is-’’

“I know, I know,” The boxer grabs her face, placing his forehead onto hers, trying to calm her, “I’m sorry… I’ll make it up to you, I promise. It’s just… Marcus believes I have a real chance! He just needs me to train a little bit more.” He kisses her forehead.

“Der… This is too much; I barely see you anymore…You come home hours after closing, only to leave a few hours later. Hell, even your boss called me asking if you were okay… Der, it’s like you don’t exist. And to top it off, you’re getting even more hurt!”

“Babe, that’s not fair…”

“Your health matters, doesn’t it? Life outside the gym matters…right?”

“Of course it does…” She gives him a skeptical look, “I promise I’ll make it up to you, Jules, I swear…” He gives her a pleading look as he swept a strand of hair out of her face, “I just need this to work. I need to prove to him that I have what it takes to make it.”

Julie grabs his hands, looking at them for a moment before speaking, “Look… I’ve supported you since we’ve got together but its never been this intense before. I’m just worried.” Derrick gives a harsh sigh, “But… if you think this amount of work is necessary, then I’ll support you… just please, be careful. Be mindful.” She places her hands onto his cheeks, giving him a warm smile as she caught his eyes, “I’ll see you later.” She lets him go, and turns to walk out the door.

“She’s bad news, Boy…” Marcus says from behind him.

Derrick hangs his head, “You shouldn’t talk to her like that-”

The older man scoffs, “Oh please, don’t give me that crap, shit’ll make you soft.”

Derrick’s raises an eyebrow, “Because I want you to respect my girlfriend?”

“Because you’re whipped. Its weak… women shouldn’t have a say in what men do. I mean vegan? You better not be eating that fake shit so close to the fight.” Derrick glared at him, “Oh…don’t give me that look, I’m only protecting you. She will weasel her way in and try to get you away from your true calling… From your future success…” the older man claps his back, gesturing out towards the empty gym. “You don’t want that,” Derrick shakes his head again, “That’s right… Now, lets get back to work.”

The young boxer looks down at his swollen hand, “Sir… my hand really does hurt…”

“Pain leads to glory. This is normal. This is a good thing. The more pain you push past, the better fighter you’ll become. Now, back to the bag.” Marcus points to the punching bag. His face turns dark as Derrick starts to put his glove back on, “No gloves…”

Derrick’s head shoots up, “But-”

“You want to be better? No gloves.” Derrick warily removes the other glove, moving into position in front of the bag, “Jab.” He throws a right punch, the pain exploding up his wrist. “Jab,” he throws a left punch. “Hook,” Derrick swings his right at the bag, the power behind his knuckles waning. “You’re checking out. Push.” He repeats the rhythm, the pain getting worse. He stops for a moment, “Do what you’re told, Boy. If you listen to me, you’ll win this fight.” With that, Derrick picks up his fists, pushing through the pain.

It’s the day of the fight. Butterflies in Derrick’s stomach begin to flutter rapidly as they approach the stadium doors. He retreats within himself as he briefly closes his eyes. You’re fine, just do what you're told. They announce his name. Metal music fills the stadium as the crowd roars. They walk towards his corner when he spots his opponent. His opponent was not that different than him, similar gait and chest size, but he was a seasoned fighter, that alone gave Derrick a run for his money. A nervous sweat builds behind his neck.

The fight starts. Derrick immediately spots an opening and goes in hard for the first hit. Jab, Jab, Hook! There’s a sickening crack. Pain radiates up his right arm as his fist connects with the other mans cheek. It was excruciating. Unbearable, but he keeps pushing, trying to ignore the pain. His opponent attempts a few jabs, but he quickly blocks, causing the punches to land onto his gloves. He grunts, getting angry as the pain worsens. He moves to the side and throws another punch with his left. Its weak, as though he tapped him on the chest. He’s losing focus.

“Right hook!” He hears Marcus yell.

Derrick breaths heavily through his nose. He throws the right hook, only for his opponent to dodge it. The crowd starts to boo. He feels himself becoming distracted, more frustrated than before. He’s losing control. His opponent suddenly rushes him, pushing him towards the opposite corner. The seasoned boxer throws punch after punch, not letting Derrick get away.

Amidst the chaos, he can hear Marcus, yelling his head off, “God Dammit Boy! What the Hell are you doing?” The bell lets out three high dings, calling for the end of round one. Derrick walks to his corner, cradling his trembling hand.

“What the fuck is going on?” Marcus spits.

“M-my hand. Something’s wrong.”

The trainer slaps him. Hard. Nostrils flared, he pokes at Derricks’ forehead roughly, “Don’t bullshit me. I will not lose to your excuses; you hear? Go back out there and fight like I trained you!”

When the bell dings, Derrick is pushed into the middle of the ring. Circling his opponent, all he can comprehend is the ugly throb beneath the glove. His arm became stiff, sluggish. He stops for a moment, letting his right hand relax when suddenly, all he sees are the lights on the roof, then black.

...

When he opens his eyes, he is met with the stale white hospital room. He is still in his boxer shorts, with his chest covered by a hospital gown. He moves his toes and then his fingers, realizing his right hand was wrapped in a cast. Julie sat in the chair next to him, reading an old book.

“Jules... what happened?”

She looks up from her book and gives him a sweet, sad, smile, “You lost the fight, sweetheart...”

“Yea... I figured, but why am I here?”

“You broke your hand; you have a concussion… Doc says you’ll be fine if you take it easy for the next few weeks…” She gently grabs the cast hand, bringing it up to her lips, kissing it lightly.

“God… well… lesson learnt… I’ll be better next time,” He gives her a half smile.

“Der, are you sure there should be a next time.”

His smile falters, “What are you saying…”

“I’m saying that it’s killing me. You barely exist outside of the gym, and you’re pushing yourself too hard.”

Derrick is about to reply but not before Marcus bursts into the room, “Leave.”

Julie looks to Derrick who nods towards the door. She huffs quietly, “I’ll be right outside the door.” She pushes herself past the old trainer, clipping his shoulder roughly. She exits the room.

Marcus waits till the door closes before speaking, “Best teach that bitch some manners.”

The boxer huffs, “Don’t call her that.”

The older man ignores him, “What the fuck was that, boy. You cost the gym a lot of money pulling the shit that you did.”

Derrick is taken aback, “What the hell are you-?”

“Don't! No fuckin’ excuses. I train, you win. That’s how it works. That bitch has gotten to your head, made you soft. Filling your mind with pussy shit. You checked out before even entering that ring,” the heat of his anger rolls off him in waves.

“What are you talking about? I didn’t check out! I was hurt! I tried to tell you; you wouldn’t listen.” Derrick brings up his right hand to show the cast, “and what do you mean lost the gym mo-”

Marcus grabs the cast and pushes it back into the bed, putting his weight down into it. Derrick yelps, “That is still no excuse. What if it had been a real fight, what if she was in the line of fire? Would you have given up? No... Only on my time and on my money, right? You lost me my fucking gym because of your stupidity,” Marcus gives one last weighted push on the cast before releasing it, stepping back.

“So that’s what this was about? You bet the gym?”

“I don’t have to explain anything to you.” Marcus avoids his eyes, starting to pace.

“If you’re going to be a dick, then leave.

“You don’t want me to leave, Boy. Who is going-”

Derrick stops, ‘Boy’… Never Derrick… “What's my name?” He asks.

“What a ridiculous question-” Derrick is quiet, waiting. Marcus’s jaw locks, “A disrespectful question…” He turns towards the door, “You’re fuckin’ high or something… I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“No, fuck you... What’s my name?”

Marcus stops, “Ungrateful child… A disappointment…”

Derrick glares, “You don’t know… do you?” Marcus doesn’t reply as he continues to avoid Derricks eyes. “Just get out of here. Don’t contact me, don’t come to my house. I never want to see you again.”

Marcus looks to the ceiling, scoffing as he rolled his eyes, “I’ve given you everything, and you choose to shit on my name and quit? You would be no one without me. You and me… we stick to our own. We are a team, a family, don’t you see?”

Derrick shakes his head, “You’re not worth it… family is who you choose to keep around, Marcus, and I don’t need you around.” He holds Marcus’s gaze, “Not anymore…” The older man turns sharply away, silently, as if waiting for Derrick to take it all back. But eventually, he walks out the door.

Derrick relaxes as Julie walks back inside, “Did you hear all that?”

She nods, taking a seat beside the bed, “I’m sorry about all this…”

“Its not your fault… You were right… Looking back at these past few weeks, I see how overly intense it was becoming…” He laughs softly, “And to be honest, I’m not even sure if I liked it… I just liked that he believed in me.”

“Der…”

“-And you know, he pushed and he pushed. And I tried to get him to understand about my hand but he said it would be worth it. He said I’d win. He said that it was normal. I fucking trusted that asshole!”

“Der, you don’t need him.”

“I know that! I know now that I don’t need him and that he didn’t actually care, but jeez, I was with him for a long ass time…” He pauses, huffing to himself, “He was the only one to show me kindness and show me that I was more than the lowlife junky that I was, and now? Its all been stripped away because he was fucking faking the whole time.” Derricks voice cracked, and his breathing staggered. Julie grabbed his injured hand gently, rubbing her thumb against his.

“It’ll be okay Der-”

“I saw him like a fucking father, Julie. I wanted him to be proud. Now, I’ve disappointed him and myself. Fuck!” He yanks the pillow from behind his head with his good hand, throwing it across the room. The pillow slams softly against the cream wall, only to land unceremoniously onto the ground. He lays back against the flat bed, turning away from Julie as he wiped his face roughly.

Julie stands, walking over to the pillow to pick it up. She turns back towards Derrick, who is staring at the ceiling with a deep frown. She walks over to him, pulling at his shoulder slightly, silently asking him to sit up. He moves forward while she places the pillow behind his head, clean side facing up.

“I understand-“

“You don’t understand.”

Julie fluffs the pillow a bit, running her hand comfortingly across his brow, forcing him to look at her, “I do. I can’t say that I’ve experienced your exact situation, but I can see how it effects you. And I can see what you’re going through. You don’t have to go through this alone, Derrick.”

He remains silent. His eyes bore into hers. His frown relaxing. He is the first to break contact, nodding. She sits back down onto the chair letting the silence overtake the room.

~~~

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Till Next Time!

-Dey

#my writing #short fiction #creative writing #boxing #short story writing #short story #mental health awareness #tw violence #tw mental health #tw gaslighting

[mulletcal]

can you do 16 with michael + pls kill me with angst hehe

hi ilu this took me 20 years to do

i also got a lil carried away ( this is 1,016 words i’m so sorry)

---

There was something about being in your own kitchen, baking away, that always seemed to calm you.  Ever since getting pregnant, and you and Michael breaking up - you had found comfort in the delicate science that was baking.

Today was something simple - chocolate chip cookies - but your heart hurt as you remembered the last time you tried to make cookies.  You had tried to make vegan cookies to reveal to Michael that you guys were expecting; but when he got home, a fight had broken out.  Looking back now, you can hardly even remember what it was about - maybe him not being excited for the life the two of you created?

You swiped away a tear at the memory, your hand coming to rest on your now larger than expected belly.  Michael didn’t call or text often, and the only times you reached out was to drop off a new sonogram, or to text him that the baby had kicked for the first time.  During those exciting moments, you had no one to tell but him.  Your roommate had gone practically MIA ever since finding out about the incoming noise complaint, but you hadn’t minded.

However, the big bag of chocolate chips you had asked her to buy was now on the highest shelf - you weren’t quite sure if it was to spite you, or due to the lack of room you had in the cupboards, but you were left to your own devices regardless. Too lazy to grab a real stepping stool, you grabbed a deep pot to step up onto.

Going up and getting the chocolate chips was easy, it was the coming back down part is where things went south.  As you stepped down, the pot slid out from under you, causing you to tumble forward.  Everything happened so fast, you hardly remembered reaching out to attempt to break your fall with your hands.  You definitely hit your belly off the ground harder than you ever should have, and a pain began to radiate up your wrist.

It took you a moment to gather what happened, but as soon as you felt a sharp pain in your stomach, you knew you needed to head to the hospital; but there was no one to take you - no one except for him, and you weren’t about to become desperate enough to do that.  So you drove yourself.

Did it take longer than necessary? Yes.  Did you have to stop along the way to cry a little bit? Maybe.

One of the last times she pulled over, about a block away from the hospital - you figured you owed it to Michael to let him know where you were headed, on the off chance he cared.

[1:34 p.m]: Hey. I’m headed to the hospital. Fell and landed on the baby. I think we’re okay but everything hurts.

Your wrist ached as you typed, and you vaguely wondered if you’d sprained it - but your mind was more concerned about the baby.  Making the final journey to the hospital, she had previously let them know she was on her way so that she could hopefully be seen right away.

After many tests, and one tensor bandage to your wrist later, you were settled into a hospital bed. The baby seemed fine, maybe just a little shocked from the feeling of the fall, but they wanted to keep you over night to be sure.  The way you had landed on your wrist, you were informed that you most definitely did sprain it, and they gave you something pregnancy-safe to manage the pain.

You were about to drift off to sleep when you heard a familiar voice speaking, “Oh thank God.”

Cracking one eye open, you saw the tall, blonde, Australian man you had fallen for some time ago - and you were sure that they forgot to check you for head trauma, as you were likely hallucinating. 

“So the baby’s fine, absolutely fine, I need you to know that first...” You began to explain, Michael pulling up a chair next to you.

“What did you do?” His words were soft, and when you finally made eye contact with him, you noticed his eyes were bloodshot - had he been crying?

“I was reaching for chocolate chips... My roommate put them on the top shelf, so I just stood on a pot but I slipped,” Your cheeks turned red with embarrassment, almost going even redder when you heard Michael laugh at you.

“But you’re okay, you’re both okay?”

“Seems to be - they’re gonna keep me here overnight so they can watch us both to be safe.  Thank you for stopping by, Michael.  Really, it means a lot.” Chewing on your lower lip, you brought your non-injured hand over to rest on his, squeezing reassuringly.

“What do you mean ‘stopping by’? I’m not going anywhere, sorry.” Michael spoke with a grin, squeezing your hand back.

“Michael I’m fine - you have no obligation to stay.”

“I’ve been an idiot these last few months, doll.  I thought I was about to lose the both of you.  I’d been selfishly thinking in the back of my mind, that the two of you would always exist, and we could patch things up eventually; but seeing that text from you, I was terrified. I had lost you once before, I can’t do it again,” Michael confessed, the tears in the corners of his eyes threatening to spill.

Your own tears were already streaming down your face, reaching your hand up to cup Michael’s cheek, “While I would love that - we broke up for a reason Michael.  I can’t just forgive and forget so easily.  This baby will always be ours, and I’ll never ever keep you from them, but I can’t just go back to being an us.”

Michael swallowed thickly, not meeting your eyes as you finished what you were saying, “Doesn’t mean I’m not gonna try. You loved me once, maybe you could again.”

“Maybe,” You sighed, running your fingers through his hair, “But for now, can we just be okay being this baby’s parents?”

tag list: @haikucal @talkfastromance4 @softbabiestan @boyfriend-cal @calum-uncrowned @wildflowerirwin @irwindoll @gosh-im-short @atlcalm @thesubtweeter @heavenisapeach @ridingcthood @loveroflrh @wokeupinjapanisabop @mantlereid @inlovehoodx

#michael clifford #michael clifford blurb #michael clifford angst #dad!sos #dad!michael #vipclifford

[myrecovery18]

A year in Recovery

After a year in recovery from restricting there are things that I noticed I did before that I no longer or rarely do or that I’m able to eat now. Plus a little tips on what helped me recovery and stick with it. 

TW: MENTIONS OF RESTRICTING, ANAMIA, BIRTHCONTROL,  RECOVERY, TO THE BONE, TRAINING, LEARNING TO LOVE YOURSELF, SELF RECOVERY TIPS, & LITTLE HEALTH RANT IN THE MIDDLE.

I’m aware I can’t count calories anymore because I mentally will go under 1,500 calories without fail. 

When I use to eat I use to watch an edit of “To the Bone” religiously, I only watch it now when I want to. I don’t want to watch it when I eat. 

I use to sit in class and save food recipes or pictures of food to a Pinterest board instead of paying attention because I got bored and was thinking about food

I use to workout for an hour and a half in the morning and would get pissed if I couldn’t. I quit working out for a year until I was able to and injured my knee only to restart this year because working out is the one thing I know that helps relieve stress. Instead of focusing on working out as a form of losing weight, I focus on it now as a hobby, if I don’t do it one day that’s fine. I don’t get upset at myself. That took awhile to build that mentality especially coming from a 10 yr athletic background with a physical sport that required you to train 3 hours a day like volleyball. 

I used to eat and feel panicked about being watched by others; rarely do I think about that now. I can’t give you advice on how to stop that mentality.

I avoided eating Garlic bread for six years, it was apart of my fear foods. I nearly cried when I ate it for the first time this year and didn’t feel an ounce of anxiety. It still scares me the idea of eating it, but physically eating it doesn’t bring me anxiety. 

There are days where I eat one meal and I don’t blame myself, but I do let others know that I forgot to eat because my hungry cues didn’t signal that I was in fact hungry and needed to feed myself. 

While in recovery, I’ve come to realize that when I miss a meal, my body will pick up either the next day or two days later and tell me it’s hungry. I don’t force myself to eat if I’m not hunger. 

I use to cook myself every meal so I knew what was going into it or I monitored what my family was putting into the food. I don’t do that now or I use to make my own plate and make it smaller than I needed it to be. I allow for them to cook my food and plate it if they want to. 

I use to have bad mood swings; I rarely do. 

I use to drink coffee because I knew it is a natural laxative for me when I was having a bad day; I don’t drink it anymore for that reason. I drink it because I like the taste and enjoy coffee. The upset stomach is a negative now.  

Being told to lose weight by doctors or family members or that I was getting bigger would trigger me but now I don’t bother to acknowledge it since I know most doctors don’t acknowledge the pills I’ve been on caused the weight gain. The only doctor I’ve accepted the weight loss advice was my neurologist because I went through all the test and they came back normal, so I know I suffer from migraines naturally.

Birth Control Pills: I’m not a fan of them and refuse to be placed back on them despite the other ladies I go to pushing it on me to regulate my abnormal bleeding I recently had. Despite the fact I told her it was caused by the other Gyno’s failure to notice that it counteracts with my migraine medicines and caused the bleeding to extend by putting me on the birthcontrol pill I didn’t want (Side Note: I have iron deficiency anemia that no one can really fix because my panels come back with a weird combination so due to the gynos mistake it kicked in and I had to take my iron pills because I was getting exhausted too fast because of my blood loss which made me have more headaches. I do not take them daily because my previous doctors said I had too much iron in my system but I have a hard time storing it which is why every doctor I see can’t really fix it or diagnose it again because my panels read either too high, normal or low, so cheers to that.) I know this because my recent period lasted 7 days and was normal flow similar to how they use to be before I got on before control. I say this because your doctors won’t listen to you and will prescribe you a medicine regardless of your wishes. I decided not to take it and even now I’m losing the weight I gained slowly. 

My migraine medicine: Is used for both migraines (my neurologist wanted to boost it to the highest dose which I didn’t agree with since I already have the muscle tingles that happen all day and are annoying and could get kidney stones and I know I don’t drink enough water to stop that from happening; so I stuck to the dose I’m on. Again sometimes your doctors can be wrong. GO with what you’re comfortable with) and weight loss. The weight I’m losing could be contributed to that or the fact I stopped my BC pills, I’m unsure which or the fact I’m working again. 

So what helped me recover? 

 For one, I had a support system that kept me accountable in the form of my boyfriend who knew I struggled with eating. Including one of my highschool friend who kept track of if I eat in highschool when we were at lunch together, when my boyfriend couldn’t be there. Once I got into college, it became my own responsibility to hold myself accountable for eating and sometimes that didn’t happen because I become hyper-focus on one thing (still do) and fail to remember to eat. My boyfriend still checked in whenever he could to make sure I did eat whenever he choose to 

I changed my mentality. I no longer look for a diet to do. If I eat what society sees as unhealthy or healthy that doesn’t concern me. I’m going to eat what helps my body because I know what helps it. I know personally if my body doesn’t get enough nutrition I’ll suffer a headache and will get tired later on that day. You have to know your body and that starts with your mental. Some days will be bad and that just comes with recovery.

Eating the foods you like. I’m lucky enough to be on a college campus that allows us to be back in person during a pandemic and is serving us food. By them do this, I don’t often eat in my dorm room so I can save my food or don’t eat out or order in as often. Last semester when I lived in my own apartment, I ordered food a lot and I wasn’t ashamed by it. It just took a lot of my money. My college thankfully has the healthier options available for students who can’t eat meats or doesn’t prefer it. If I don’t eat in my cafetria on campus, I’ll go to our schools tea room if it’s open to grab something to eat if I don’t like anything they have, unless I ultimately have no time left I’ll eat in my room. 

I choose to eat whatever. Some days I’ll eat more vegetarian than meat or vegan that vegetarian or I’ll eat more meat if I want it. However, I do know that there’s days I’ll crave pizza. I don’t hold back and I’ll go get a pizza and it’ll last me three or two meals depending on how hungry I am or if I get Chinese food, that’s two meals. I learned to stop holding myself holding myself back from my cravings. If I want something, I’ll eat it.

One of the last things that helped me was watching over people go through recovery the same time I was choosing to. These people have already recovery so they don’t have many videos up anymore from that time in their lives so I can’t tag their channels here and probably won’t ever. But they helped me get through and see that I wasn’t alone. That it was okay to feel the things I was feeling. 

Lastly, I learned to start to love myself. I haven’t fully done it yet. But I don’t hate myself either. It’s taking time to realize that I deserve better in life. That despite what I look like, even if it’s at my heaviest or at my lowest I won’t care what people think of me as long as I love how I look. Now that’s been a struggle to work with and I’m only a few months into that mentality, but it feels good. I spent majority of my life avoiding mirrors and avoiding taking pictures with my family to the point I don’t have many pictures of myself from the times I grew up to now. Or I hardly understand some days how I look because I don’t look in the mirror. But I slowly starting to. I can tell in pictures on days where I do love myself and have confidence that I’m happier. I also learned to understand my worth and know that I shouldn’t feel miserable in a friendship. 

There’s small things you can do to recover now. It’s not an over night thing. There’s days where recovery will see pointless or if you’re even doing it right or if you’re just faking it for the shits and giggles, but you’re doing a good thing. Ultimately, recovery is about you. It’s not for anyone else. Not for your family, or your friends or your boyfriends or your pets. It’s for you and you alone. Because it only effects you physically and mentally and emotionally. You’re the one who has to deal with it 24/7 and has to actively choose to heal and keep healing every single day. It’s not going to be easy. I only listed a few things I’ve been through that was singular for me and important to me to voice, there were more things I did. I wish you all the best whether you choose recovery now, tomorrow, or in the future. Please stay safe.  

#recovery #ed recovery #pro recovery #anamia #ana thoughts #pro ana #only using tags #mental health #poc #birth control #migraine #note to self #iron deficiency anemia #little health rant #black women health #black mental health #plus size health #eating disorder #self love #self recovery #love yourself

[underdressedgoth]

This is older art that I finally finished (it was first made in September before Goretober and I finally finish it like 2 months later)

I’m choosing now to properly introduce these kids (and a new one too) as the “Multiple Dimentional Craze” fanchildren. (this is going to be a very long post)

Sapphire

Parents: Morty and Riley *oc* Full Name: Sapphire ‘June’ Smith Nicknames: Saphie Birthday: November 17 Age: 16 Species: Human Blood Type: A+ Height: 5′7ft Sexuality: Lesbian Personality: Rude, Courageous, Rebellious, Loyal, Hot-headed, Impatient, Intelligent, Arrogant, Protective, Honest (very brutally honest), prideful, strong, confident, leader-like Powers: N/A Family: Morty *Father*, Rylie *Mother* [Out of the picture], Rick *Great-Grandfather*, Beth *Grandmother*, Jerry *Grandfather* and Summer *Aunt* Friends: Monster, Pinecone, Pineneedle, Mars, Mercury, Bruno, Leah and Josie Dating: Mayflower Likes: Her girlfriend, stir fry, the color magenta, warm foods, science related subjects, math related subjects, cats, sweet and salty foods Dislikes: Emiko, Evelyn, Takei, Victor, London, Samara, Morty, Samantha, P.J, Lee- you know what she hates like ⅞ of my fanchildren we could be here all day if I had to list everyone she doesn’t like, rain, wet items, spicy foods, sour foods, chunky things- okay so she really doesn’t like a lot of things either (you get the point) Other Things: -Her hair is naturally blue, Morty was concerned that she was Rick’s kid (considering the reason why they had split up), but nope. Morty’s her Dad. -Her parents are separated (Her mother cheated on Morty with multiple people) -She doesn’t like most people (it’s considered an accomplishment if someone managed to get on her good list. Which is -by the way- very small) -She pretty much hates Morty, a lot. She has a lot of resentment towards him, mainly because she hasn’t seen her mother since she was 5. (While Morty wants to tell her that he had tried to get her mother to see her, her mother is pretty much a dead-beat parent who doesn’t give a flying fuck that her daughter exists. He knows Sapphire probably won’t believe him) -While they may be friends, Sapphire likes to pick on and bully Mars. But just because she likes to bully him, doesn’t mean she won’t beat up a person who makes fun of him (it’s like a sibling-love thing. Everyone who has a sibling here should know what I mean) -She looks up to Rick, much to her family’s (including Rick’s) dismay, she always wanted to go adventuring with him but he always declines (thus making her frustrated) -Sometimes will steal things from her Great-Grandfather without him knowing until she’s already gone with it (one of the normal things she usually steals is the portal gun -While most of her friends have powers, she’s not jealous, in fact that only makes her more confident in herself since she knows how strong she really is (thus making her even more scary knowing that she’s just as strong as her powerful friends) -She has a soft spot for her friends and girlfriend -There are very few people on her bad list that she respects (one for example being Takei) -She’s pretty well known around her school as a girl who never knows when to step down, the amount of fights she was in prove said statement She has known Pinecone and Pineneedle since they were babies, Mayflower and Monster since 5, Mars since 6, Bruno and Mercury since 7

Monster

Parents: Wirt and The Beast Full Name: Monster ‘Edelwood’ Oak Nicknames: Monty Birthday: January 31 Age: 15 Species: Demon/Human Blood Type: [Redacted] Height: 5′8ft Sexuality: Heterosexual Personality: Calm, Collected, Optimistic, Peaceful, Caring, Protective, Observant, Quiet, Diplomatic, Introverted, Fair-Minded Powers: +Plant Talk- Can talk to plants and understand what they’re saying +Nature control- Able to control any plant around her or even make pants appear out of nowhere +Shadow Camouflage- Using her shadow form, she can blend into any surface she so chooses as long as she doesn’t use it while in sunlight +Night vision- While using her real eyes, she can see clearly in the dark. It only works with her real eyes though, while in her human disguise she can’t see in the dark +Shape-shift- Whether it be in her human disguise or natural form, she can also turn into any animal she can think of +Enhanced smell- Can smell twice as good as a blood-hound. Helps when smelling for blood or souls +Angel’s Voice- Like with the beast, she can sing to draw prey towards her along with drain any bravery or hope from them +Underwater breathing- Can breathe underwater (she didn’t know she could until the age of 6 when Mars went out too far and nearly drowned. Wirt nearly had a heart-attack that day but was grateful she could do that) Family: Wirt *Father*, Beast *Father*, Sara *Step-mother*, Max *little half-brother*, Lantern *little half-sister*, Greg *Uncle* Friends: Sapphire, Mayflower, Pinecone, Pineneedle, Bruno, Mars, Mercury, Armory, Echomain Crush: Mars Likes: Tea, Poety, Nature, Music, Rivers, Exploring, Her Family and Friends, Old Things, Books, Walking through the woods, Singing, cold weather, English subjects, Art, Musicals Dislikes: Very hot weather, her friends/family getting injured, cheese (no one knows why, she just doesn’t like it), bright lights Other Things: -She’s carnivorous, won’t eat any plants unless she has to (a funny way to put it is that she’s like a reverse vegan) - Her favorite poet is Sara Teasdale - She got her love for poetry from Wirt, ever since she was a baby, Wirt would read poetry to her. Beast also would sometimes recite Shakespeare to her when she was a child while she visited him - She can easily retell Hamlet from memory word-for-word (she’s read and heard Shakespeare so many times that she can do that with any of his stories) - She’s in her school’s chorus (Known to be a very beautiful singer) - Her favorite type of music is Opera (no surprise there) - Once a week (sometimes two) every other month, she and Wirt would go visit the beast. Sara does know about this as she was there when the deal was first offered - She has never actually spent a halloween in the real world - Monster was born out of a giant flower - Sometimes out of habit from her demonic heritage, Monster will eat either a bird or small animal (Mayflower and Mars are the only ones who seem to freak out when that happens) - Has been playing Piano, cello, Clarinet and bass since she was little (she loves playing instruments) - Sometimes if she’s deep in thought, she’ll start talking in Shakespearean - Is an outcast at her school because people find her very weird with her personality and hobby with plants (Since she likes to whisper to them a lot). - - - - While Wirt may have reacted differently to a situation like hers, she doesn’t seem to be bothered by it at all. Nor does she acknowledge the insults other students will sometimes say about her. Sapphire on the other hand, has been in many fights because she refuses to let anyone bully her friend - Monster loves her half-siblings to death, she’ll do anything for them. Her brother Max sadly doesn’t like her since she gets most of Wirt’s attention - Her brother doesn’t know she’s not fully human, her sister on the other hand found out through her own ways (she’s very young so she’s fine with it, in fact she thinks Monster is cool and lucky to have powers as she wishes she had them too) -She’s mainly nocturnal, but since she can’t really sleep during the day often either, her body luckily managed to readjust itself so she doesn’t need to sleep often. - She doesn’t really express much inner emotions, so it’s not obvious that she has a crush on Mars (only people who know are Sapphire and Mayflower) - Has known Pinecone and Pineneedle since they were babies, Mayflower since she was 4, Bruno and Mercury since 5, Mars since 6 and Sapphire since 4 - She’s considered a theater kid (the theater kids are probably the only ones out of her school who actually like her) - Funny thing, she can walk on water (another thing to add, it took Wirt forever to let her into the water, he was just that terrified if she drowned.) -She can’t see well in bright lighting, her eyes don’t adjust well to it -She sees Sara like an actual mother to her -Seems to bleed Oil,Gold and Blood

Mayflower

Parents: Connie and Spinel Full Name: Mayflower ‘Spinel’ Maheswaran-Universe Nick names: May, Curly, Petal Birthday: February 28 Age: 14 Species: Gem/Human Blood Type: [Redacted] Height: 5′3ft Sexuality: Bisexual Personality: Self-conscious, Joyful, Caring, Nurturing, Optimistic, Friendly, sometimes nervous, self-less, strong Powers: + Rejuvinator- can easily pull out her own rejuvinator from her gem (it can also double as a weapon to fight against other creatures, electrocuting and cutting any enemy she swings it at) +Stretchy Limbs- Like her mother Spinel, she can stretch any part of her body (as long as she doesn’t over do it, she’s fine) + Fusion- like her father Steven who is also half-gem, she can fuse with any gem or human Family: Spinel *Mother*, Connie *Mother*, Steven *Step-Father*, Nicholas *Older Half-Brother*, Stephen *Little Half-Brother*, Greg *Little Half-Brother*, Greg *Step-Grandfather*, Pink Diamond/Rose Quartz *Step-Grandmother*, Priyanka *Grandmother*, Doug *Grandfather* Friends: Pinecone, Pineneedle, Mercury, Bruno, Mars, Monster Dating: Sapphire Likes: Dancing, Singing, Traveling the Multiverse, Animals, any romantic comedy or novels, painting, Homeworld, space travel, space itself, anything funny, gardening Dislikes: Her looks, Monster attempting to eat a small creature, abandon buildings, taking pictures of herself (she gets flustered from them), horror movies, silence, being alone, blood, anyone getting hurt Other Things: -She isn’t really one who is confident with her looks, she isn’t exactly thin (she’s kinda chubby) and it does bother her sometimes (Sapphire still loves her to death and will kill anyone who makes fun of her girlfriend without hesitation or remorse. Sapphire would do anything for and I mean anything) -She and Sapphire have been dating for about 2 years now (for the one who has confessed their love to the other, they both were just flustered stuttering messes as Sapphire sucks with emotions besides anger and Mayflower is not one who has confidence) - Her older brother doesn’t like her, she tries her best, just like Monster with her own brother, to get her brother to not hate her (he’s just edgy) - She has her own gem, a spinel like her mother Spinel’s (spinel didn’t give up her form, it turns out from what I heard, Rose didn’t have to give up her form for Steven. So I am just using that idea for here too) - Since Steven, Spinel and Connie are in a polygamous relationship, Steven likes to help Mayflower understand her own powers since he can relate of course) - I can definitely assure that the Diamonds like to smother her and her brothers with love since they are Spinel’s and Steven’s kids (same can go with Pearl) - Doesn’t seem like it to others, but Mayflower is really strong, she can lift a lot since she likes to work out sometimes

Pinecone

Parents: Bill and Dipper Full Name: Pinecone ‘Pyramid’ Cipher-Pines Nick names: Pinie, PC, Creepy, Gremlin #1, Cone Birthday: May 23 Age: 13 Species: Demon/Human Blood Type: [Redacted] Height: 5ft Sexuality: Heterosexual Personality: Creepy, Hyper, Observant, Extroverted, Goofy, Creative, observant, curious, courageous, adventurous, chaotic good, crafty Powers: +Shapeshift- Can shape-shift into anything from her demon form to any small objects +Portals- Can manifest a portal to the multiverse +Enhanced smell- can smell better than humans +Telekinesis- Move things with her mind +Floating- Can float Family: Bill *Father*, Dipper *”Mother”*, Pineneedle *Twin brother*, Gravity *Little brother*, Falls *Little sister*, Mabel *Aunt*, Pacifica *Aunt*, Aqua Marie *Cousin*, Manuel *Cousin*, Tala Poly *Aunt*, Lillusion *Aunt* Friends: Sapphire, Mayflower, Monster, Bruno, Mars, Mercury, Gabriel, Flint Crush: Max Likes: Forests, Dark areas, Halloween, Bugs, Camping, Fire, Bones, Traveling through dimensions and universes, anything sugar, Tad Strange, scissors, disturbing things, Birch trees Dislikes: Being Normal, having to sit still, London (surprisingly), snobby people, having to pretend to be human, pineapples, fancy things (finds them boring) Other Things: -Is older than Pineneedle by 6 minutes - Tad Strange is her’s and Pineneedle’s teacher (secretly since Bill hates Tad) - While she likes Monster’s little brother, most people will say she has a very “strange” way of showing her affection towards her (that being a very creepy way, what I mean is that she’ll say the creepiest things to him since she for some reason “finds his face adorable when it looks scared”) (she won’t hurt him, just freak him out. Added note, he doesn’t like her at all. Her love for him is very one-sided. But she is determined to win him over one day) - She and Pineneedle were not planned, they kinda just happened by accident (their parents still love both of them none-the-less) - Knows about other fanchildren in other universes, enjoys talking to them

Pineneedle

Parents: Bill and Dipper Full Name: Pineneedle ‘Illuminati’ Cipher-Pines Nick names: PN, Gremlin #2, Pointer, Needle Birthday: May 23 Age: 13 Species: Demon/Human Blood Type: [Redacted] Height: 5ft Sexuality: Aromantic/bisexual Personality: Creepy, Hyper, Observant, Extroverted, Goofy, Creative, chaotic, courageous, adventurous, Chaotic good, disobedient Powers: +Shapeshift- Can shape-shift into anything from her demon form to any small objects +Portals- Can manifest a portal to the multiverse +Enhanced smell- can smell better than humans +Telekinesis- Move things with her mind +Floating- Can float Family: Bill *Father*, Dipper *”Mother”*, Pinecone *Twin sister*, Gravity *Little brother*, Falls *Little sister*, Mabel *Aunt*, Pacifica *Aunt*, Aqua Marie *Cousin*, Manuel *Cousin*, Tala Poly *Aunt*, Lillusion *Aunt* Friends: Sapphire, Mayflower, Monster, Bruno, Mars, Mercury, Gabriel, Flint Crush: N/A Likes: Anything creepy, slim, spiders, snakes, mice, being crazy, scaring others, Tad Strange Dislikes: Having to be “normal”, not using his powers, rules, girly things Other Things: -Almost like he’s Pinecone’s other half, sharing similar personalities and abilities - He’s the younger twin - Where ever one twin is, the other follows (Pinecone and Pineneedle are rarely apart) - The more troublesome of the two (and that is saying something) - While Pinecone likes Max, Needle just likes to scare him - He can be very spiteful - Thinks love is gross (doesn’t understand it) - likes to skateboard with Mercury - He and Pinecone have known everyone since they were babies (they’re the little siblings of the group)

Mars

Parents: Dib and Zim Full Name: Mars ‘Irken’ Membrane Nick names: Nerd, Markie, Dork (<--- Two are from Sapphire) Birthday: July 15 Age: 16 Species: Alien/Human Blood Type: [Redacted] Height: 5′8ft Sexuality: Heterosexual Personality: Introverted, Anxious, Intelligent, Quiet, Friendly, Nerdy, Dorky Powers: +Breath in space- Yeah, that’s the only thing I think he can do Family: Zim *Parent*, Dib *Father*, Zoey *Little Sister* Gaz *Aunt*, Tak *Aunt*, Dr.Membrane *Grandfather* Friends: Sapphire, Mayflower, Monster, Mercury, Bruno, Pinecone, Pineneedle Crush: Monster Likes: School (because he likes learning), technology, building things, studying, science and math related subjects Dislikes: Sapphire’s rage, moving quickly, the dark (he’s scared of it), oranges (hates the smell), Gym (he’s not that strong) Other Things: -Often gets picked on by Sapphire (though they do have their moments where they get along) (he’s not scared of her, just annoyed) - While Dib may be a proud space scientist, Mars prefers not to be acknowledged as his son for some odd reason - He doesn’t enjoy fighting other creatures, he can handle it, just doesn’t like it like the others do - He has motion sickness, move way too quickly and he’ll get nauseous - Sapphire is the reason for why he’s scared of the dark - He wears make-up to hide the green parts of his skin (the only time he doesn’t is in Gravity falls) - He has only been to space once, didn’t have fun at all (1/10 wouldn’t recommend) - Monster gave him his beanie for his birthday a few years ago, he loves it - He’s your typical shy nerd

Mercury

Parents: Star and Jackie Full Name: Mercury ‘Lynn‘ Butterfly Nick names: Flutter, Wings, Meri, Sparkles Birthday: August 2 Age: 15 Species: Mewman/Human Blood Type: [Redacted] Height: 5′6ft Sexuality: Pansexual Personality: Out-going, extroverted, bashful, prideful, forceful, somewhat thoughtless at times, crafty, wild Powers: +Butterfly- Butterfly form from Mewberty +Magic wand- since it’s connected to her powers they have similar spells (I am not going to list them because that’ll take too long) Family: Star *Mother*, Jackie *Mother*, Moon *Grandmother*, River *Grandfather* Friends: Sapphire, Mayflower, Monster, Mars, Bruno, Pinecone, Pineneedle, Samantha, Anne, Evelyn, Gabriel, Black Taffy- she’s pretty much the opposite of Sapphire when it comes to people, she has a lot of friends Crush: Samantha Likes: Glitter (a lot), Shiny things, roller-blading, magic, Mewni, crazy things, summer, bright collars, dancing, sugar, hot coco, socializing, parties Dislikes: Unicorns (from her experience with them, you’d hate them too), Fairies (again, from her experience with them, you wouldn’t blame her), gnomes, garden gnomes (don’t ask), bland foods, snakes, magical high commission, her ex boyfriend (oh how the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree) Other Things: -Just going to ignore what happened in the finale because I personally thought it sucked and was a terrible way to end a series. Mercury is the heir to the Butterfly throne. - While she is a girl who can easily make friends, she is one who also tends to loose some due to her nature, she doesn’t understand boundaries and tends to drive people away occasionally - She knows a lot of Royal people and will 100% try to befriend any princes or princesses while she can - She loves to talk, a lot, she is very rarely quiet and it tends to drive Sapphire crazy and threaten to duck-tape her mouth shut - Sometimes the others think she depends on her want a little too much, because she uses it all the time even when she doesn’t need too at all - Despite being a very confident girl, when it comes to interacting with her crush (Samantha), she’s a stuttering flustered mess - Please don’t give her sugar

Bruno

Parents: Tom and Marco Full Name: Bruno ‘Julius‘ Lucitor-Diaz Nick names: Bunny, Demon-boy, Lucitor, Horns (<--- Most of these are from Sapphire) Birthday: March 30 Age: 16 Species: Demon/Mewman/Human Blood Type: [Redacted] Height: 5′8ft Sexuality: Heterosexual Personality: Calm, Brave, Determined, Good-hearted, Responsible, Dare-devil, Leader-like, Assertive (when needed), Confident Powers: +Fire- able to produce fire from hands and have it spread to anywhere on his body Family: Tom *Father*, Marco *Father*, Juliet *little sister*, Mariposa *Aunt*, Rafael *Grandfather*, Angie *Grandmother*, Wrathmelior *Grandmother* and Dave *Grandfather* Friends: Sapphire, Mayflower, Pinecone, Pineneedle, Monster, Mars, Mercury, Black Taffy, Josie, Jack Jr, Crush: N/A Likes: Biking, fire, Tacos, Nachos, Magical creatures, adventure, Ice-skating Dislikes: Math, school, fancy parties, dressing up, London, Mercury on sugar Other Things: -He’s sorta bad at judging things -Often butts heads with Sapphire due to both of their desires to lead the friend group - He has a third eye hidden under his hair -Has three moles in a row from largest to smallest under his right eye - Has his own pair of Dimensional scissors - Lives in the Underworld as the prince and heir to the throne - Is the only one besides Pinecone, Pineneedle and Monster, who is able to handle Mercury - Has known Mercury since the day of her birth, Pinecone and Pineneedle since they were babies, Sapphire since 7, Monster since 6 - He doesn’t really like most demons or hybrids, most of the time they’re too crazy for him to deal with (he already has to deal with 3 crazy people almost everyday. He’s good) - He’s pretty good at flattering people, he’s calls it his “secret weapon” - He likes to consider Sapphire as his rival (Sapphire feels the same way towards him) I’ll admit I got lazy with some parts because writing this was taking too long after loosing a good chunk of progress and having to redo some profiles because of it. This would have been posted sooner if it weren’t for that.

#sapphire smith #Mayflower Universe #Monster #pinecone cipher #pineneedle cipher #Mars #Bruno Lucitor #mercury butterfly #my fanchildren #my art