#FOXGLOVE & FAWN

[foxgloveandfawn]

#designer fashion #ebay #vintage #foxglove & fawn #sale alert

[storiesbyrhi]

Witch!Reader x Bat/Vampire!Eddie Munson Series Masterlist The Grimoire The Timeline

Warnings: canon typical violence, horror genre typical violence/some infrequent gore, swearing, animal death, no beta, death in childbirth (mentioned, not described), abusive parents, suicide, spiders/bugs, grief/mourning; light smut; warnings updated each chapter.

Synopsis: No witch has stepped foot in Hawkins since 1845, but when Vecna opens the ground and poisons the town, a voice begins to call to you. Have you been brought back to this cursed place to heal the townspeople’s wounds, to save a hexed bat that always finds its way to you, or to redefine your history with a reunion 150 years in the making?

Chapter Summary: To build a home. 2888 words.

1986

When the temperature dropped and a near-constant fog hung low over Hawkins, you were glad, being more of a winter witch than summer. You stood on the peak of a hillside and looked over the vast plains surrounding the town. The mist made everything look ghostly and romantic.

The land had been returned to the descendants of the original Native American peoples who once lived there, but with no immediate plans to reoccupy the space, your new coven had been granted permission to make home on the condition you would oversee its protection.

For the moment, you were alone on the hill. Eddie was hiding from solar rays in the trailer, listening to the radio and writing in a journal he had recently started.

There was a lot to do before your sisters arrived and you wanted it all done by then. You wanted everything to be perfect. The first dwelling of a new coven would set the tone for centuries to come. It was time to build.

The advantages of being magically blessed were many, but you’d always thought enchanted seeds had to be right up there in the top ten. You’d had seven seeds soaking in seven jars over the past seven days.

You’d lined them up and filled them to halfway with moon water. In went a seed each, apple slices, and petals. In Ash’s jar went dahlia petals, while Hailey’s had peonies. Purple mums for Meg. Foxglove for Ev. Mel’s had snapdragons and lucky last, Kelsey’s was filled with delphinium.

Now, you’d fished each seed out and planted it where their cabins, cottages, and homes were to be.

“I plant these seeds,

Where homes will grow,

By moonlight

And good intentions.

In this time,

And in this place,

A coven new

Offers protection.”

You laid on the grass in the shade of an old sycamore tree. Closing your eyes, you let yourself melt into the natural world. Bones became tree roots. Blood swapped for mud. Total harmony. Infinite peace.

The air grew cooler and the shade expanded outwards. Darkness enveloped you and your body slowed as if you were in your final resting place. That’s how he found you; not asleep but not awake.

Eddie surveyed your work. The seeds had already sprouted, grew, and bloomed. Magical in their speed. He picked one of the snapdragon flowers and squeezed the base, like you’d shown him. It opened the flower’s mouth, a tiny floral puppet. Eddie smiled to himself.

You felt their heartbeats before you saw Eddie. Sitting up, you watched the deer and her fawn meander in from the forest. She’d looked at you, poised in question. What is he? Is he safe? Given a witch’s blessing, she let her baby approach Eddie.

He too had heard their heartbeats. Eddie had remained where he was, mindful not to scare them. When the fawn appeared at his feet, he slowly opened his hand to the animal and let it eat the snapdragon from his palm.

“You would know if it was poison, right?” he asked in a quiet voice. The fawn looked up at him, long eyelashes and soft whiskers.

Eddie turned to find you standing close behind him. You were getting very good at sneaking up on him.

“Hi,” he greeted.

“Making friends?”

Eddie nodded.

“Feeding my flowers to them?”

There was an overwhelming feeling that the moment was beautifully preordained – and really, knowing fate, it probably was.

Eddie turned back to the flowers. “I thought you said they would grow into homes?”

“They will. They just need some time alone with the moon… Shall we?” You held your hand out to Eddie.

…

While you appreciated Walmart’s late night hours, their range of Halloween costumes was less than ideal. You stared at the row of wigs for a while before drifting away in search of decorations. October was a good time to find homewares you’d use all year round.

You were shaking a snow globe filled with little black bats when Eddie appeared in front of you, holding up a vampire costume. “It comes with plastic teeth,” he pointed out. “And a cape,”

You snorted. “Is that your pick? Because generic vampire would be very meta of you.”

He smiled but shook his head. “I don’t think this would put the humans at ease,”

“Probably not. So… something more friendly?”

“Yes. More… normal,” he said in a way that made ‘normal’ sound taboo. Eddie’s gaze wandered from you over to the back corner of the store. He handed you the vampire costume then walked away without further explanation.

You frowned, watching him go. Looking down at the costume in your hands, an idea sprung to mind. The red cape. You returned to the wigs.

A little later, Eddie was waiting for you when you came out of the fitting room with a white dress. You glanced at the jeans and long-sleeved blue polo top he was holding.

“I need a cat,” he told you seriously. “The children in the toy aisle are…”

“You’re afraid of them?”

“No. I’m afraid I’ll eat them. Come. Restrain me if you must,” he announced dramatically, loudly. The Walmart employee at the fitting room door gave you a concerned look as Eddie grabbed your hand and dragged you away.

Both your endeavours were successful; Eddie found the necessary prop in the plush toy bin, and you raided the craft section. With a few other odds and ends in the basket, you were ready to head home, arriving at Forest Hills just before midnight.

Eddie carried the shopping inside, leaving you to unpack and get started on your project while he brewed tea for you. He had been practicing with flavour combinations and brewing times, constantly requesting feedback since he himself could not drink the tea without immediately throwing it back up. The best he could do was let it linger on his tongue and capture the taste in the few seconds before his dead mouth killed it.

“You should sleep soon,” he insisted, albeit softly.

You took the mug of tea he held out and smiled at him. “I will. I just want to organise this stuff,”

“Why are you making it? Could you not cast some sort of illusion spell? Or magically will all the pieces into the shapes you want?”

“I could. But where’s the Halloween spirit in that?”

Eddie nodded and began to go through his costume pieces. “Could you possibly spare a spell for a pair of my boots? They need to be brown, I believe,”

“Didn’t want to just buy some brown boots?”

His frown was bordering on pout. “I’d never wear them again.”

You laughed.  Eddie had been developing his own sense of style. If style was beat-up combat boots and a ratty denim jacket he probably stole from someone in the city. Consistently though, he wore a lot of black.

“I’ll work on it,” you agreed with a nod.

An hour later, when you kept pausing mid-sentence to yawn, Eddie whisked you off to bed, tucking you in and wishing you sweet dreams.

“You going to sleep too?” you asked, meaning ‘do you need the bat spell?’

“No, my love. I’m hungry,”

“Walmart kids wet your appetite?”

He chuckled, always amused when you made dark jokes. He kissed your forehead and watched you fall asleep, then left Hawkins in search of violence.

…

The next day, Eddie waited for the last of the light to leave the porch before he stirred. He’d spent hours curled up in one of the many nests you’d built for him around the trailer. The nest on the porch was as soft as his fur and perfectly positioned so he could sleep in the sun all day.

When night fell, cool and calm, he flew inside and found you in the bath. You said the words with your eyes closed, letting a human-shaped Eddie settle on the tiles.

“You’ve been gone for hours,”

“I was just outside. These may be the last fine days we see this year,”

“My baby sunshine bat,” you cooed with a smile, waking yourself up to look at him.

You had woken that morning to Eddie curled around you, satiated and happy. He asked to be battified, then disappeared outside. You’d spent the day working on your costume.

Eddie rested his chin on the edge of the bath, shamelessly raking his eyes over your body. “I miss you when I’m not near you,” he said suddenly.

“I thought you were just outside,”

“I was. Even then. Even sleeping. It’s too far.”

You held a hand up for him to take. Tangled fingers. A warm pulse against cold skin.

“Maybe we should stitch our bodies together,” you whispered.

Eddie’s lips curled into a devilish grin. “I could just bite down and never let you go,”

“I could cut you up into itty bitty pieces and consume you entirely,”

“You’re starting something you cannot finish,” Eddie warned, his eyes growing dark. He untangled one of your fingers and held it between his teeth.

“I’d let you eat me whole.”

Eddie dropped your hand abruptly, pulled you from the lukewarm bathwater, and had you wrapped around him like a koala before you even registered movement.

“I will reach my hand into my throat and tear down until I find what is left of my unbeating heart. I will serve it to you and you will feast and we will become one.” His voice was earnest and emphatic.

Teeth clenched, you smashed your forehead to his and pulled hard on his hair. Maybe you said what you needed him to do out loud, maybe he read your mind. Either way, you were facedown on a mattress within a second, Eddie’s teeth and tongue scraping and licking up the backs of your legs.

“I…” he started.

“Want…”

Words separated by kisses.

“To…”

By bites.

“Eat…”

Like a recited spell.

“All…”

Well timed magic.

“The…”

He was at your hips.

“Love…”

Pushing beneath you.

“Out of you.”

…

Little witch…

Little witch…

His voice was in your head.

In your dreams.

Then, real.

“Little witch, my love? You wanted to check on your flower houses before the night is through,” Eddie said. He was right. That had been the plan. But the sun had set, he’d taken you to bed, and you’d lost hours with him. When did you fall asleep?

Slowly, you crawled from bed and checked the time. Midnight had only just left you. Heavy, sluggish movements. Weighed down by an unscheduled nap. You flopped back onto the bed.

“Do you need help?” Eddie asked as he came to stand in front of you.

Pouting, you nodded.

You watched him collect fresh clothes, ruminating over what he wanted to see you in. Eddie pulled you by the ankles to the edge of the bed, hooking underwear on and sliding them up. Still foggy with sleep, you felt like you were still rolling through a dreamscape. Eddie worked slowly. Sensually. With tenderness. It almost brought you to tears.

With your shoes laced up, there was no reason left to delay. You twinkled your fingers at Eddie, asking to be lifted off the bed. He acquiesced, leading you out of the bedroom and through the trailer.

On the car ride to the new coven, with your Moody Midnight mix tape playing loud, you watched Eddie out of the corner of your eye. He wound down the window and glided his hand through the fall wind.

As the flowerbeds came into view, Eddie’s mouth dropped open and an expression of pure delight lit up his face. He was out of the car before you cut the engine.

The seedlings had gone. In their places, beautiful buildings set apart from each other with enough space to grow gardens and vegetable patches, yet close enough to wave through windows.

Kelsey’s cottage was the first on the street, a warm welcome with shutters the shade of delphinium blue. It seemed small, unassuming, but you knew as soon as she moved in, she would charm it so it grew bigger and bigger on the inside, never changing on the outside. Eventually, as the coven embraced new members, Kelsey would take on housemates, her little cabin becoming the heart of the sisterhood.

Across from the cottage were Ash and Hailey’s cute tiny homes, their dahlia and peonies growing strong out front already. Down the way sat Ev’s Victorian style house. It was grand and gothic, and undoubtedly filled with secret nooks and spaces that Ev would hide all sorts of weird things in. Both Meg and Mel had dwellings on the far side of the field. Meg’s thatched roof a bright purple, and Mel’s garden already sprouting with plants she could feed her turtle.

“This is… It feels…” Eddie didn’t know what to say. Truthfully, he couldn’t believe this type of magic was allowed. It seemed too immense, too obvious.

“I know,” you told him. “We don’t always build like this. But I want them to feel at home, you know? I want this all to feel… right.”

Eddie nodded, finally stopping his awestruck pacing, and focussing on you. “They will love it,” he assured you. “I love it… It’s…” Still, not a single adjective would form. He looked over the buildings again. “Wait… There is not… You have not grown a home for yourself?”

“For us,” you corrected.

“For us… Please don’t tell me you intend on dragging that trailer across town?” Eddie joked. Half joked. There was clear apprehension in his tone. A little fear in his eyes.

You laughed. “No. I don’t intend on doing that… It’s just, you know, we haven’t talked about what kind of home we want.”

He couldn’t maintain eye contact, turned back to the houses, watching them as if they were going to continue to grow. They wouldn’t, of course. Not with an audience.

You let Eddie ponder while you walked the perimeter of the field. The land the coven would care for extended far beyond the little neighbourhood you’d grown from petals, but the air was already crackling with magic. Out in the forest over the hill, a family of red foxes were jumping and playing. Bats swooped through the sky and fireflies carved patterns through the dark.

Eddie sat on the doorstep of Ev’s Victorian. He listened to your heartbeat. How, when other living things came close to you, their breathing synced to yours. Leaves twisted in your direction like you were the sun. The center of everything. Definitely his.

You were almost out of his eyeline, crouched down scratching the belly of a fox cub, when you went still. For a moment Eddie thought you’d sensed or seen danger, but quickly you were up and turned to him. “You do want a home, right?”

In an instant, he was in front of you, the breadth of the field nothing to him. “Why would you ask that?”

“Because. Like I said. We’ve never talked about it.”

Eddie’s brows pulled together and his expression so sharp it could have been mistaken as anger, rather than the abject confusion it was. “Everything I have ever said has been about you. Loving you. Getting this far,”

“Yes. Yeah. But logistically… Vampires are nomadic. And all the time taken from you. You don’t want to see how the world has changed?”

The foxes had gone, unnerved by the thing that wasn’t human or witch. The breeze had settled, the trees providing a windbreak. Eddie saw through your line of questioning, tracing it back to the niggle of anxious thought settling in your brain. His face softened, then the beginning of his trademark smirk.

Eddie threw himself onto his knees at your feet, twisting his hands in the layers of your long, black skirt. “I am bound to you. Where you are, is where I am.”

You couldn’t help but grin. His dramatics wouldn’t distract you though. Dropping to your knees you looked at him seriously. He laughed.

“Eddie. You have been trapped in Hawkins for a hundred years. I’m not going to be the next witch to keep you here,”

“You want to know what I desire, in the deep, dark, catacombs of my soul?”

It was rhetorical, but you nodded.

“What do you picture me having done between 1586 and… well, you? 250 years of stillness? No, my love. I have seen the world. I know what is out there. It may have changed, but it will change again and again. I don’t want the world. I want you. I want to know you when you’re happy. I want to see you build this coven. Grow plants. Heal human ailment and cast witch magic…” Eddie tipped his head to the side a little, cocky as ever. “Logistically we should consider blackout blinds and room for books, not international travel.”

You wore that glazed-over look, drunk on the articulation of Eddie’s love. “You want a library?” you asked, voice coming out in a dumb whisper. Eddie nodded. “Me too. Maybe two… One for fiction and one for non-fiction,”

“Maybe three. Fiction. Non-fiction. Then, one for grimoires and other craft books.”

The foxes watched on from burrow doors. They still didn’t know what he was, but as long as he was with you, they’d leave him be.

End Note: Thank you to @jo-harrington for, well, the cannibalism.

There is a short playlist linked in this, little witch's Moody Midnight mix tape. I hope you like it.

There are a lot of people on the tag list that I have no idea if they read this story anymore. Feedback and love are deeply appreciated. xo Rhi

P.S. I hope you love your witchy homes @vintagehellfire @courtingchaos @pastel-pillows @ghost-proofbaby @kookygranger @toomanyacorns

Fic Taglist:  @paranoidmunson  @idkidknemore @paprikaquinn @stardustworlds @loz-brooke @wyverntatty @vintagehellfire @dark-academia-slut @scarletwitchwhore @becks1002 @mrsdollardog @heyndrix @luceneraium @rosaline-black @devilinthepalemoonlite @goldencherriess @iamwhisperingstars @wiltedwonderland @blueywrites @breezybeesposts @jadehowlettthewolf @spikesvamp79 @foreveranexpatsposts @tortoiseshellspells @wingedpeachjudgegiant @stardustmunson @live-love-be-unique @fangirling-4-ever @reanimated-alice @b-irock @gh0stlybunnie @myown-worstenemy-2003 @woozzz @cyberxlust @hiscrimsonangel @buckysbarne @m00nlight101 @word-wytch @spicysix @briasnow-blog @goth-cowgirl-03

All Eddie Taglist: @solomons-finest-rum @ruinedbythehobbit @sweetpeapod @thorfemmes  @corrodedhawkins @grungegrrrl @lilzabob  @averagemisfit03 @ches-86 @ilovecupcakesandtea @onehotgreasymechanic @hazydespair @mel-the-fangirl @eddies-hid3out @siren-lungs @aheadfullofsteverogers @hiscrimsonangel @dashingdeb16 @cultish-corner

#Mine #Burning Yarrow #Eddie Munson #Eddie Munson Reader Insert #Eddie Munson/Reader #Eddie Munson/You #Eddie Munson x Reader #Eddie Munson x You #Vampire!Eddie Munson #Bat!Eddie Munson #Witch!Reader #Eddie Munson x Witch!Reader

[cryptidclaw]

Cryptidclaw's WC Prefixes List!

Yall said you were interested in seeing it so here it is! 

This is a collection of mostly Flora, Fauna, Rocks, and other such things that can be found in Britain since that’s where the books take place! 

I also have other Prefixes that have to do with pelt colors and patterns as well!

Here’s a link to the doc if you dont want to expand a 650 word list on your Tumblr feed lol! the doc is also in my drive linked in my pined post!

below is the actual list! If there are any names you think I should add plz tell me!

EDIT: I will update the doc with new names as I come up with them or have them suggested to me, but I wont update the list on this post! Plz visit my doc for a more updated version!

Animals

Mammal

Badger

Bat

Bear

Beaver

Bison

Boar

Buck

Calf

Cow

Deer

Elk

Fawn

Ferret

Fox

Goat

Hare

Horse

Lamb

Lynx

Marten

Mole

Mouse

Otter

Rabbit

Rat

Seal

Sheep

Shrew

Squirrel

Stoat

Vole

Weasel

Wolf

Wolverine

Amphibians

Frog

Newt

Toad

Reptiles

Scale

Adder

Lizard

Snake

Turtle

Shell

Birds

Bird

Down

Feather

Albatross

Bittern

Buzzard

Chaffinch

Chick

Chicken

Coot

Cormorant

Corvid

Crane

Crow

Curlew

Dove

Duck

Dunlin

Eagle

Egret

Falcon

Finch

Gannet

Goose

Grouse

Gull

Hawk

Hen

Heron

Ibis

Jackdaw

Jay

Kestrel

Kite

Lark

Magpie

Mallard

Merlin

Mockingbird

Murrelet

Nightingale

Osprey

Owl

Partridge

Pelican

Peregrine

Petrel

Pheasant

Pigeon

Plover

Puffin

Quail

Raven

Robin

Rook

Rooster

Ruff

Shrike

Snipe

Sparrow

Starling

Stork

Swallow

Swan

Swift

Tern

Thrasher

Thrush

Vulture

Warbler

Whimbrel

Wren

Freshwater Fish 

Fish

Bass

Bream 

Carp

Dace

Eel

Lamprey

Loach

Minnow

Perch

Pike

Rudd

Salmon

Sterlet

Tench

Trout

Roach

Saltwater fish and other Sea creatures (would cats be able to find some of these? Probably not, I don't care tho)

Alge

Barnacle

Bass (Saltwater version)

Bream (Saltwater version)

Brill

Clam

Cod

Crab

Dolphin

Eel (Saltwater version)

Flounder

Garfish

Halibut

Kelp

Lobster

Mackerel

Mollusk

Orca

Prawn

Ray

Seal

Shark

Shrimp

Starfish

Sting

Urchin

Whale

Insects and Arachnids

Honey

Insect

Web

Ant

Bee

Beetle

Bug

Butterfly

Caterpillar

Cricket

Damselfly

Dragonfly

Fly

Grasshopper

Grub

Hornet

Maggot

Moth

Spider

Wasp

Worm

Trees

Acorn

Bark

Branch

Forest

Hollow

Log

Root

Stump

Timber

Tree

Twig

Wood

Alder

Apple

Ash

Aspen

Beech

Birch

Cedar

Cherry

Chestnut

Cypress

Elm

Fir

Hawthorn

Hazel

Hemlock

Linden

Maple

Oak

Pear

Poplar

Rowan

Redwood

Spruce

Willow

Yew

Flowers, Shrubs and Other plants

Berry

Blossom

Briar

Field

Flower

Leaf

Meadow

Needle

Petal

Shrub

Stem

Thicket

Thorn

Vine

Anemone 

Apricot

Barley 

Bellflower

Bluebell

Borage

Bracken

Bramble

Briar

Burnet

Buttercup

Campion

Chamomile

Chanterelle

Chicory

Clover

Cornflower

Daffodil

Daisy

Dandelion

Dogwood

Fallow

Fennel

Fern

Flax

Foxglove

Furze

Garlic

Ginger

Gorse

Grass

Hay

Heather

Holly

Honeysuckle

Hop

Hyacinth

Iris

Ivy

Juniper

Lavender

Lichen

Lilac

Lilly

Mallow

Marigold

Mint

Mistletoe

Moss

Moss

Mushroom

Nettle

Nightshade

Oat

Olive

Orchid

Parsley

Periwinkle

Pine

Poppy

Primrose

Privet

Raspberry

Reed

Reedmace

Rose

Rush

Rye

Saffron

Sage

Sedge

Seed

Snowdrop

Spindle

Strawberry

Tangerine

Tansy

Teasel

Thistle

Thrift

Thyme

Violet

Weed

Wheat

Woodruff

Yarrow

Rocks and earth

Agate

Amber

Amethyst

Arch

Basalt

Bounder

Cave

Chalk

Coal

Copper

Dirt

Dust

Flint

Garnet

Gold

Granite

Hill

Iron

Jagged

Jet

Mountain

Mud

Peak

Pebble

Pinnacle

Pit

Quartz

Ridge

Rock

Rubble

Ruby

Rust(y)

Sand

Sapphire

Sediment

Silt

Silver

Slate

Soil

Spire

Stone

Trench

Zircon

Water Formations

Bay

Cove

Creek

Delta

Lake

Marsh

Ocean

Pool

Puddle

River

Sea

Water

Weather and such

Autumn

Avalanche

Balmy

Blaze

Blizzard

Breeze

Burnt

Chill

Cinder

Cloud

Cold

Dew

Drift

Drizzle

Drought

Dry

Ember

Fall

Fire

Flame

Flood

Fog

Freeze

Frost

Frozen

Gale

Gust

Hail

Ice

Icicle

Lightening

Mist

Muggy

Rain 

Scorch

Singe

Sky

Sleet

Sloe

Smoke

Snow

Snowflake

Soot

Sorrel

Spark

Spring

Steam

Storm

Summer

Sun

Thunder

Water

Wave

Wet

Wind

Winter

Celestial??

Comet

Dawn

Dusk

Evening 

Midnight

Moon

Morning

Night

Noon

Twilight

Cat Features, Traits, and Misc. 

Azure

Beige

Big

Black

Blonde

Blotch(ed)

Blue

Bounce

Bright 

Brindle

Broken

Bronze

Brown

Bumble

Burgundy

Call

Carmine

Claw

Cobalt

Cream

Crimson

Cry

Curl(y)

Dapple

Dark

Dot(ted)

Dusky

Ebony

Echo

Fallen

Fleck(ed)

Fluffy

Freckle

Ginger

Golden

Gray

Green

Heavy

Kink

Knot(ted)

Light

Little

Lost

Loud

Marbled

Mew

Milk

Mottle

Mumble

Ochre

Odd

One

Orange

Pale

Patch(ed)

Pounce 

Prickle

Ragged

Red

Ripple

Rough

Rugged

Russet

Scarlet

Shade

Shaggy

Sharp

Shimmer

Shining

Small

Smudge

Soft

Song

Speckle

Spike

Splash

Spot(ted)

Streak

Stripe(d)

Strong

Stump(y)

Sweet

Tall

Talon

Tangle

Tatter(ed)

Tawny

Tiny

Tough

Tumble

Twist

Violet

Whisker

Whisper

White

Wild

Wooly

Yellow

#cryptidclaw's warriors au #? #Im tempted to use these in the au #some characters deserve some more fun names hehe #rise of change #warrior cats #warrior cats design #warriors #warriors names #warriors naming #warriors prefixes

[mysterycharacterflowers]

Hello! I am sorry for the delay! The tournament will start at November 18 at 2 pm BRT, the polls will be posted every 10 minutes!

The matches were randomized!

Side A

A bouquet of purple daylily, green carnation, dead leaves, fern, opium flowers and coriander Vs Red Orchid

Violet Vs Red Spider Lily

Dandelions 1 Vs A bouquet of willows and chives

A bouquet of wisteria, black and red carnations and foxgloves Vs A bouquet of buttercup, daffodils, edelweiss and orange

A bouquet of amaryllis, milkweed, bluebells and strelitizia Vs A bouquet of blue and red hyacinths

A bouquet of white, red and black roses Vs A bouquet of white chrysanthemums, orchids and blue hydrangeas

A bouquet of white chrysanthemums, orchids and blue hydrangeas Vs Forget-me-nots

A bouquet of snapdragon, tansy and black eyed susan Vs White poppies

Daisies Vs A bouquet of white clover, chamomile and pine

A bouquet of pink peonies, purple hydrangea and a variety of cosmos Vs A bouquet of asphodel, sage, yellow chrysanthemum, green carnation, plum blossom, stinging nettle, anemone and acanthus

A bouquet of marigold, dandelions, goldenrods and amaryllis Vs A bouquet of sea holly, ageratum, globe thistle, orchid cactus, protea, bird of paradise, mimosa, dianthus, hydrangea and clematis

A bouquet of bleeding hearts and dandelions Vs A bouquet of plastic lemon balm, thyme, hyacinths and anemone flowers, with a single real orange rose in the middle, wrapped in light blue cellophane

A bouquet of snapdragon, yellow poppy and jonquil Vs Blue Rose

A bouquet of yellow orchids, rue, yew, bird’s-foot trefoil, yellow gladiolus, yellow peony, sunflower and yellow amaryllis Vs A bouquet of dandelion, asphodel, poppy, chamomile, red columbine, hydrangea, rhododendron, dark crimson rose and queen of the night

Snapdragons Vs A bouquet of lily, red spider lily, daffodils and milkweed

A bouquet of rainflower, green carnation, camelia, nightshade, mulberry and purple lilac Vs Red Anemone

Side B

Strelitzia Vs A bouquet of blue violets, trumpet creeper, lavender and green carnation

Hibiscus Syriacus Vs Dandelions 2

Desert Bluebell Vs A bouquet of yellow and purple carnations

A bouquet of poppies, daffodils, daisies, ivy, and purple hyacinths Vs A bouquet of gloriosa (flame lily), veronica, jasione, jacaranda, cyclamen, jasmine and freesia

A bouquet of dandelions and buttercups Vs A bouquet of marigold, yellow and white zinnia, phlox, bluebells, cornflower, gladiolus, rosemary, dark crimson rose and purple cyclamen

A bouquet of orange lilies, yellow roses, buttercups, aconite, sunflower, hollyhock and lotus Vs bouquet of jasmine, milkweed, dandelion, poppy and oenothera

A bouquet of oleander, refflesia (corpse flower), trigidia, hyacinth, hollyhock, Iberis (candytuft) and orange tulip Vs A bouquet of lily of the valley and amaryllis

A bouquet of marigolds, tuberose, and dandelions Vs A bouquet of daffodil and pansy

A bouquet of amaranth, orange brugmansia, delphinium, honeysuckle and white aster Vs A bouquet of plumeria, fawn lily, magnolia and star grass

A bouquet of gladiolus, snapdragon, canterbury bells, gloriosa (flame lily) and white chrysanthemum Vs A bouquet of fern, rex begonia leaves, black rose, lily, odessa calla lily and green hydrangea

A bouquet of daisies, butterfly weed, orchids, purple lotus and violets Vs A bouquet of striga, mistletoe, and monotropa uniflora

Thistle Vs A bouquet of chestnut flower, lotus, dandelion, fern, thyme, anemone, geranium, holly, magnolia and bluebell

A bouquet of poppy, zygopetalum, echeveria, dandelion, yucca, twinspur , lotus, tagetes, ursinia, purple hyacinth and hibiscus Vs A bouquet of amaryllis, dicentra, red spider lily and white roses

Oleander Vs A bouquet of blue and purple daisies, desert lilies and black tulips

A bouquet of black eyed Susan, geranium and a tall sunflower Vs A bouquet of forsythia, holly, yellow hyacinth, petunia, viscaria and orange lilys

A bouquet of arborvitae, gladiolus and begonia Vs Spiderwort

#mod talks

[goforth-ladymidnight]

A Rose by Any Other Name

Tamlin Week 2024, Day 3: Flower Language

@tamlinweek

Pairing: Tamlin x Lucien

Rating: Teen and up (for language)

Word Count: 1.7k

Summary: Nynsar is one day away, and Lucien learns that there is more to the minor Spring Court holiday than he had first supposed.

Read on AO3, or read on below:

“Have you decided what flower you’re going to wear on Nynsar tomorrow?” Tamlin asked, meeting Lucien’s eyes in the tall bedroom mirror.

Lucien stifled a snort as he slipped his shirt over his head. “Isn’t that a Spring Court custom?” he asked, more scornfully than he’d intended.

Tamlin paused from adjusting his collar and turned to face him. “You’re part of the Spring Court now,” he said with some surprise. “It would be a good way to introduce yourself to the others.”

“What’s the point?” Lucien grumbled, tucking his shirt into his pants. “Everyone already knows we’re fucking.”

Tamlin gave him a patient smile as he stepped closer and reached out to tie Lucien’s shirt strings. “Maybe that’s what you call it in the Autumn Court,” he said evenly, tying an expert knot. “But here we call it making love.”

Lucien blushed. “Same thing, isn’t it?”

Tamlin arched an eyebrow at him. “You think so?”

Lucien shrugged. “We end up in the same bed no matter what you call it, so… yes?” His ‘yes’ sounded less confident than he intended. Some emissary he was turning out to be.

Tamlin surprised him by chuckling, then patted Lucien’s chest as he pulled away. “Consider wearing foxglove tomorrow,” he remarked. “It’d suit you.”

“Foxglove? Why?” Lucien called out as Tamlin strode toward the doorway.

Tamlin paused to give him a brief, mysterious smile. “Look it up,” was all he said before he closed the door behind him.

Lucien hadn’t counted on spending his day off in the library, but as Tamlin’s official emissary, and unofficial bedfellow, he had to know what kind of impression to make upon the residents of his new home.

Home.

The Spring Court.

After having lived in the Autumn Court for over a century, he had suddenly found himself an exile. Just because he had dared to love someone his father had deemed lesser. If only Beron could see him now. A High Lord’s consort in all but name.

What sort of flower would a consort wear on Nynsar, anyway? Even though Lucien still scoffed at the tradition, it was important to Tamlin, and Tamlin was important to him.

There were several books on the Language of Flowers in the High Lord’s personal library, enough to make a faerie’s head spin. Lucien grimaced at the selection. None of the other Courts communicated in such frivolous, obscure ways, but he supposed the Spring Court had its reasons, or there wouldn’t be so many books on the subject. At last he selected a slender tome that seemed promising: Floriography,a Garden of Meaning.

Flipping through it, he sauntered toward the extra desk in the corner and leaned against it to find answers. He didn’t expect his search to take long, although it would be easy to lose himself in this particular book. The illustrations were surprisingly intricate for such a simple tome. No wonder it was in the High Lord’s library.

The first illustration Lucien flipped to was for Amaranth, which meant Eternal Love. Lucien snorted and turned the page. Eternal pain in the ass was more like it. Amarantha, Hybern’s emissary, fawned over Tamlin every time she visited Spring. Maybe there was a flower in this book to tell her to fuck off.

Barberry, perhaps, for Bad Temper. Hmm. Close, but not quite. Ah, Burdock. Touch Me Not. Perhaps with some Thistle—Warning, the book said—just so he could piss her off.

Lucien chuckled at the thought, then shook himself. He was getting distracted from the matter at hand. He didn’t want to spend the entire day studying, after all.

Reading further, he learned that Buttercups could indicate either Childishness or Sarcasm.

Lucien winced and turned the page. He counted himself lucky that Tamlin hadn’t suggested he wear that particular flower, no matter how much he deserved it for mouthing off all the time.

Carnations meant Fascination, Celandines meant Joys to Come…

He paused on the description for Forget-me-nots. The meaning itself was in the name, but the book said that Spring soldiers and their families would wear sprigs of the flower in remembrance of their loved ones during the War, and planted them on the graves of those who didn’t make it home.

Lucien smiled sadly. Perhaps Floriography wasn’t such a frivolous pastime after all.

He took a deep, cleansing breath, then turned the page to Forsythia. Indicating Anticipation or Innocence, the book said they were suitable for children to give as gifts on Nynsar.

Lucien straightened. He hadn’t realized that giving flowers was part of the Nynsar tradition, as well as wearing them. Tamlin hadn’t brought it up, so it was possible that he thought Lucien already knew.

Forgetting about Foxglove for the time-being, he turned towards the end of the book, to learn more about Roses, Tamlin’s favorite flower. Lucien’s eyes widened at the number of pages dedicated to it. Each color meant something different.

Red for love, pink for passion, and yellow for jealousy… and that was only the beginning. Yellow roses tinged with pink meant something different than yellow roses tinged with red. Cauldron boil him, why did it have to be so complicated?

‘Everyone already knows we’re fucking,’ Lucien had said. A simple red rose would make that message plain enough, but Tamlin had said: ‘Foxglove.’ Why?

Lucien turned to Foxglove, then snorted aloud as he read the description, even though no one was around to hear him. It meant Insincerity, or even Delirium. ‘Same thing, isn’t it?’ Lucien had asked, and Tamlin had called him a liar, if not an idiot. In Flower, no less.

Lucien snapped the book shut and tapped it against his chin. There was more to the Language of Flowers—and Nynsar—than he had first supposed. He needed to think about what to do next, and what better place to do it than out of doors, where he could find the same flowers as in the book?

Later that afternoon, Lucien found Tamlin in his study, pressing his seal to a stack of answered correspondence. He had never given it much thought, but the shape of the seal was that of a five-petaled sweetbrier rose, which, in the Spring Court, meant simply: Home. It was fitting.

Lucien cleared his throat. “Can I come in?”

Tamlin glanced up. “Of course you can. What—” A slow, handsome smile grew on his face as he took in the bouquet that Lucien was carrying. “What’s this?”

Lucien gave him a shy smile and stepped closer. “An early Nynsar present,” he said. “Or an apology bouquet,” he added with a shrug. “Depending on how you look at it.”

Tamlin’s green eyes twinkled as he pushed himself away from the desk to accept the proffered bouquet. “Hyacinths,” he observed, twirling it slowly.

“Purple hyacinths,” Lucien added. “For sorrow.”

A corner of Tamlin’s mouth twitched as he caught Lucien’s eye, then he continued, “And tulips—white tulips…”

“For sincerity,” they said together.

Tamlin nodded. “And, uh… meadowsweet,” he remarked with some surprise.

“For peace,” Lucien said quickly.

“Or uselessness,” Tamlin remarked. His mouth was twitching again.

Lucien’s face flushed. “Like I said, it all depends on how you look at it.”

“Or on which book you read,” Tamlin said, laying the bouquet on his desk, gently. “Was it: ‘A Floral Guide to the Spring Court’, by chance?” he guessed, crossing his arms.

“‘A Garden of Meaning’, actually.”

Tamlin nodded thoughtfully. “I like that one, too.”

“So do I.”

They stood in awkward silence until Tamlin finally noticed the blossom pinned to Lucien’s chest. His eyebrows rose. “I see you chose to wear Foxglove after all.”

Lucien chuckled and pinched the foxglove stem between his fingers. “Well. I was an idiot.”

Tamlin sighed. “You weren’t an idiot—”

“Yes I was.” Lucien took a deep breath and swallowed. “I’m sorry I didn’t realize how much Nynsar meant to you… and the rest of the Spring Court.”

Tamlin smiled softly. “I know it’s just a minor Spring holiday,” he tried to say, but Lucien cut him off.

“No it’s not. Not to you.”

Tamlin’s lips tightened as he conceded a nod. “Thank you,” he said quietly.

Sensing that he had been forgiven, Lucien drew out the small flower he had been hiding behind his back. “I know Nynsar isn’t until tomorrow,” he began shyly, “but if you would do me the honor of wearing this tomorrow, I… I would be most grateful.” He held out the pale yellow primrose in his palm and stammered, “I would have given you a rose, but I didn’t know if I should take one of your mother’s roses, and—and even though it’s not the same, it means the same thing. A-according to the book, I mean.”

Lucien wished he had a book to interpret the smile blooming on Tamlin’s face. Surprise? Amusement? He couldn’t tell.

Tamlin caught his eye. “And what meaning is that?” the High Lord asked coyly.

Lucien swallowed again. His face was on fire, and his throat was dry from nerves. “It means I… I love you,” he rasped. “I can’t live without you.”

Tamlin’s smile softened, and it made his heart skip a beat. “Of course I’ll wear it,” he said gently, and his fingertips brushed Lucien’s palm as he accepted the delicate primrose. “But only if you wear one, too.”

He held out an identical blossom to Lucien, who stared. Hadn’t he only plucked one from the garden?

“Being High Lord has its perks,” Tamlin explained, still smiling.

Lucien chuckled as he accepted the twin blossom, then twirled the stem between his fingers. “Is this what you call making love?” he joked.

Tamlin shook his head. “No. This is,” he said, and grabbed Lucien by the collar and kissed him fiercely on the mouth.

Lucien stared at him in a daze when Tamlin’s grip on him loosened.

“I love you, too, by the way,” Tamlin murmured, smiling shyly. “Just in case it wasn’t obvious.”

Lucien returned his smile. “Happy Nynsar, Tam.”

Tamlin chuckled and wryly shook his head. “It’s not until tomorrow, idiot,” he said fondly.

Lucien feigned offense. “You know, I don’t fucking care,” he said, and when Tamlin grinned, he couldn’t help but grin back as he pulled on Tamlin’s collar and kissed him just as fiercely.

#we'll just pretend i uploaded this on time #tamlin #tamcien #tamlin x lucien #lucien x tamlin #my writing #fanfiction #acotar fanfiction #acotar fanfic #tamlin week #flower language

[nightsidewrestling]

D.U.D.E Bios: Ida McDougall

The Cyhyraeth Duchess of C.R.C Ida McDougall (2020)

The eldest daughter of Deirdre, and second eldest granddaughter of Naoise, Ida. An Irish-Catholic woman living in Wales and an attentive and sympathetic mother. Ida is one of Kirby's first cousins once removed.

"Some days I really could scream my scream lungs out."

Name

Full Legal Name: Ida Elain Ffion Briallen McDougall (Née Llewellyn)

First Name: Ida

Meaning: Derived from the Germanic element 'Id' possibly meaning 'Work, Labour'.

Pronunciation: IE-da

Origin: English, German, Swedish, Norwegian, Danish, Dutch, Italian, French, Polish, Finnish, Hungarian, Slovak, Slovene, Germanic

Middle Name(s): Elain, Ffion, Briallen

Meaning(s): Elain: Means 'Fawn' in Welsh. Ffion: Means 'Foxglove' in Welsh. Briallen: Derived from Welsh 'Briallu' meaning 'Primrose'.

Pronunciation(s): EH-lien. FEE-awn / FI-awn. bri-A-shehn

Origin(s): Welsh. Welsh. Welsh.

Surname: McDougall (Née Llewellyn)

Meaning: Variant of 'MacDougall', which means 'Son of Dougall' in Gaelic. (Llewellyn: Derived from the Welsh given name 'Llywelyn', which is probably a Welsh form of unattested Old Celtic name 'Lugubelinos', a combination of the names of the gods 'Lugus' and 'Belenus', or a compound of 'Lugus' and a Celtic root meaning 'Strong'.)

Pronunciation: mack-DO-gall (loo-EHL-in)

Origin: Scottish (Welsh)

Alias: Cyhyraeth Duchess, Ida McDougall

Reason: This is Ida's ring name

Nicknames: None

Titles: Mrs

Characteristics

Age: 27

Gender: Female. She/Her Pronouns

Race: Human

Nationality: Welsh

Ethnicity: White

Birth Date: November 5th 1993

Symbols: Banshees, Cyhyraeths, Ghosts, Crowns

Sexuality: Straight

Religion: Irish-Catholic

Native Language: Welsh

Spoken Languages: Welsh, Irish, Scottish (Scots Gaelic), English

Relationship Status: Married

Astrological Sign: Scorpio

Theme Song: 'The Dirty Glass' - Dropkick Murphys (2011-)

Voice Actor: Anna Thomas

Geographical Characteristics

Birthplace: Tullahought, Kilkenny, Ireland

Current Location: Llanfaethlu, Anglesey, Wales

Hometown: Llanfaethlu, Anglesey, Wales

Appearance

Height: 5'6" / 167 cm

Weight: 136 lbs / 61 kg

Eye Colour: Blue

Hair Colour: Brown

Hair Dye: None

Body Hair: N/A

Facial Hair: N/A

Tattoos: (As of Jan 2020) 15

Piercings: Ear Lobe (Both), Tragus (Both), Eyebrow (Double, Both), Anti-Eyebrow (Both)

Scars: None

Health and Fitness

Allergies: None

Alcoholic, Smoker, Drug User: Smoker, Social Drinker

Illnesses/Disorders: Depression

Medications: Antidepressants

Any Specific Diet: None

Relationships

Allies: (As of Jan 2020) The Rhydderch Clan

Enemies: (As of Jan 2020) None

Friends: Matrona Volkov, Eira MacThaoig, Rachel MacGregor, Wanda Llewellyn, Vale Llewellyn, Cadence Llewellyn, Dacre Llewellyn

Colleagues: The C.R.C Locker Rooms / Too Many To List

Rivals: None

Closest Confidant: Desmond McDougall

Mentor: Deirdre Llewellyn

Significant Other: Desmond McDougall (28, Husband)

Previous Partners: None of Note

Parents: Ivan Llewellyn (48, Father), Deirdre Llewellyn (47, Mother, Née Rhydderch)

Parents-In-Law: Diarmaid McDougall (58, Father-In-Law), Fionnuala McDougall (59, Mother-In-Law, Née Babineux)

Siblings: Kevin Llewellyn (24, Brother), Padrig Llewellyn (21, Brother), Wanda Llewellyn (18, Sister), Vale Llewellyn (15, Sister), Aaron Llewellyn (12, Brother), Bada Llewellyn (9, Brother), Cadence Llewellyn (6, Sister), Dacre Llewellyn (3, Sister)

Siblings-In-Law: Mavourneen Llewellyn (25, Kevin's Wife, Née McEachern), Rathnait Llewellyn (11, Padrig's Wife, Née McTaggart), Aoide McPhee (25, Desmond's Sister, Née McDougall), Valentin McPhee (26, Aoide's Husband), Tihomir McDougall (22, Desmond's Brother), Astraea McDougal (23, Tihomir's Wife, Née Monroe), Arete McDougall (19, Desmond's Sister), Tomislav McDougall (16, Desmond's Brother), Arethusa McDougall (13, Desmond's Sister)

Nieces & Nephews: Muadhnait Llewellyn (4, Niece), Muire Llewellyn (1, Niece), Ceallach Llewellyn (1, Nephew), Valko McPhee (5, Nephew), Arke McPhee (2, Niece), Velichko McDougall (2, Nephew)

Children: Keelin McDougall (7, Daughter), Caomh McDougall (4, Son), Cathal McDougall (1, Son)

Children-In-Law: None

Grandkids: None

Great Grandkids: None

Wrestling

Billed From: Kilkenny, Ireland

Trainer: The C.R.C Wrestling School, Talulla Rhydderch, Deirdre Llewellyn

Managers: Desmond McDougall

Wrestlers Managed: Desmond McDougall

Debut: 2011

Debut Match: Ida Llewellyn VS Deirdre Llewellyn. Ida won via pinfall.

Retired: N/A

Retirement Match: N/A

Wrestling Style: Brawler / Hardcore

Stables: The Rhydderch Clan (2011-)

Teams: No Team Names

Regular Moves: Belly To Back Suplex, Bulldog, Figure-Four Leglock, Inverted Atomic Drop, Low Blow, Multiple Jabs, Poking / Raking Opponent’s Eyes, Running High Knee Strike, Big Boot, Atomic Drop, Backbreaker Rack, Diving Overhead Chop, High Knee, One-Armed Body Slam, Piledriver, Running Big Boot, Running Leg Drop, Vertical Suplex Slam

Finishers: Sleeper Hold, Jumping Knee Drop, Top Rope Jumping Knee Drop

Extras

Backstory: Ida McDougall (Née Llewellyn) of the C.R.C (Welsh Wrestling League / Cynghrair Reslo Cymru) owning Rhydderch family. When Deirdre dies Ida will have a 1/504th ownership of the promotion. Ida is a 'Cyhyraeth Style’ (Brawler / Hardcore) trainer. She’s mostly Welsh.

Trivia: Nothing of Note

#D.U.D.E #original character #Rhydderch #Llewellyn #McDougall #C.R.C Wrestling School #C.R.C Wrestling Promotion #C.R.C Wrestling Family #Rhydderch Clan

[cottagecharms]

prn sets

Bun/bunself

Acorn/acornself

Meadow/meadowself

Dew/dewself

Willow/willowself

Rose/roseself

Finch/finchself

Clover/cloverself

Fern/fernself

Hazel/hazelself

Fawn/fawnself

Ivy/ivyself

Bee/beeself

Maple/mapleself

Glimmer/glimmerself

Thistle/thistleself

Pumpkin/pumpkinself

Lavender/lavenderself

River/riverself

Orchard/orchardself

Petal/petalself

Wren/wrenself

Brook/brookself

Sorrel/sorrelself

Moss/mossself

Sunflower/sunflowerself

Feather/featherself

Meadowlark/meadowlarkself

Rustle/rustleself

Snail/snailself

Saffron/saffronself

Dahlia/dahliaself

Breeze/breezeself

Foxglove/foxgloveself

Honeysuckle/honeysuckleself

Cricket/cricketself

Toadstool/toadstoolself

Puddle/puddleself

Bumble/bumbleself

#Pronouns #neopronouns #liomogai #mogai #mogai pronouns #Pronoun sets #pronouns #Prns #cottagecore

[intergalactic-romantic]

little twilight summoner. ♡ buy original here

#art #aesthetic #drawing #pastel #pale #deer #naturecore #cottagecore #cute #dreamy #oceanvixen #illustration #nature #wildlife #fawn #flowers #bluebells #foxglove #foxgloves #dirtcore #goblincore #fantasy #fairytale

[ataraxystar]

#faceyourart ! Tried to include a good variety. Also the character in the top right corner belongs to my good friend enduring.sunflower on instagram!!!!

#art #faceyourart #my art #my OCs #fish babe #dabberlocks #fawn #monster girls #rosie #rosie foxglove #face your art

[faerietaels]

#foxglove #fawn #akira #ts4 #gameplay #i miss these babies sm omg #just smth for y'all bc it's been a hot minute n i know it

[0kayblue]

As It Was

You’ve lost a lot and the guilt eats Billy away. 

Based pretty loosely off of “As It Was” by Hozier. Somewhat of a sequel to “It Will Come Back”, but I tried my best to make it where you don’t have to read the other one first. A/N at the end :)

Billy Hargrove x reader (Romance) 

There is a roadway, muddy and foxgloved

Billy’s head pounded as he limped up your driveway. Who the fuck did Max think she was? In a blacked out rage he was slamming his fist into Harrington’s jaw and the next thing he knew he was pulling a needle out of his neck and on the floor. Then nothing, until he finally woke up on the Byers living room floor. Max gone, his car gone, a bloody nose, and a pounding headache. 

He hesitated as he reached for the door knob of your front door. He’s been doing so good, keeping somewhat of a distance from you. Pushing these feelings of something more aside. He debated it, all of it. He could turn around and walk the near two miles home. Sneak in through his window, clean himself up, sleep it off, and hunt down his car and Max in the morning. Or he could open the door, be fawned over, vent it all out, and fall asleep on the couch with you watching some stupid movie. In one of his many moments of weakness he opened the front door. 

“You seriously need to lock your doors.” He said, pulling your attention from the television. “I know it’s Hawkins, but crazy is on the rise.” 

“Jesus H. Christ, Bill. What the fuck happened to you?” Worry lacing each word as you nearly fell to the floor trying to get up while still tangled in the afghan blanket. You wrapped an arm around his torso as you met him in the doorway, only shooting a glance to your empty driveway, “Did you walk here?” 

Billy groaned as he rested on you, he was so warm as you kicked the door shut and basically dragged him to the couch. Sitting him down you scurried to the bathroom for the first aid kit and a wet rag. Billy’s eyes grew heavy as you walked back into the room, “Hey,” you snapped, “No sleeping. You could have a concussion and that is the last thing I want to deal with. We’ll have to get actual professionals involved.” As you took a seat on the coffee table you very gently reached for his face, getting him to look at you before you cradled his face in the palm of your hands. Studying his pupils, “How’s your vision? Only one of me, right?” 

“Only one.” His speech wasn’t slurred which was good and his vision was fine, so he didn’t have a concussion to your knowledge. It was still probably best that he stayed awake for a couple of hours. You let out a little sigh of relief and smirked at him and his stomach flipped only slightly as you let out the slightest chuckle. His anger levels decrease in strides with the feeling of your soft skin against the subtle stubble of his cheeks. “Your eyes really light up sometimes, y‘know that?” You stiffened slightly before pulling your hands away from his face and grabbing the warm wet rag you set beside you. Carefully you pressed it just below Billy’s nose, wiping the semi dried blood off.

“So did alcohol cause this? Did you sneak her into the town bar, where Ruben’s cracked out cousin basically lives? Did he plaster her a whore for ditching Ruben and you had to defend her honor?” Envy leaking like venom from each word. You tried really hard to hold it back, but you hated Emily with every fiber of your being. When you found out she was the next girl Billy decided to pursue, it became harder to fight off your true feelings on the matter. 

“Haven’t even had a drop. Didn’t make it to the date with Emily.” A sense of pride laced into the confession, more than enjoying this game of cat and mouse until he remembered the true reason for being here. Taking a deep breath before adjusting his tone, “It’s true; Max wasn’t home when Susan and Neil got home. So I had to go all around this stupid town looking for her. Wasting my time and gas, and I finally found her at the Byer’s place with fucking Harrington and a bunch of twerps just like her. One thing lead to the next and I was kicking his ass, then I was on the floor passed out.” He deliberately left out the part where Max gave him a heavy dose of sedatives and he only woke up fifteen minutes ago. You raised an eyebrow as you looked at him, not certain if you believed him or not. You just sat the rag on the table before reaching for the instant ice pack in the first aid kit. Mentally adding a note to pick up some more from the general store while also accepting Billy’s story for the night. 

“Steve and Johnathan don’t seem like the type to be friends, let alone hang out. Especially after Nancy took off with Johnathan a few days ago.” You said, activating the ice pack and gently resting it on the bridge of Billy’s nose, “Hold that there while I get you something for your head.” As you got up and headed into the kitchen Billy did the exact opposite of what you said and followed you into the kitchen. 

“You can’t honestly be concerned about Harrington and the rumor mill right now?” That little green monster on Billy’s shoulder rearing its ugly head. Billy won that fight, no doubt, but Steve got in a good hit. His nose was bleeding, didn’t that count for something? “What about my sis-Max? Or my car?” You’ve really opened him up to addressing Max by what she was, his sister. Max deserved so much more from him and you made that very clear. 

“One: Max is a big girl that can handle herself, Sinclair is a good kid, and I’m only saying that because I’m assuming he was part of that group of twerps,” You began grabbing a glass from the cabinet and filling it with water from the tap as Billy leaned against the counter, “Two: It doesn’t make any sense why ‘King Steve’ is hanging out in the house of the hermit who stole Nancy from him. Three: I know for a fact that Steve is hurting for certain because you look like he barely laid a finger on you,” As you pulled open the junk drawer in your kitchen you grabbed the aspirin bottle fishing him out a couple, “And last, but not least, four: your precious car is probably with Max, and the others. Which means, if Max values her life in the slightest, you will get it back tomorrow.” You handed him the glass and the pills with a know it all look plastered on your face. Billy took the pills and then chugged the glass of water all while giving you the side eye. 

“You think you know it all don’t you?” 

“No, but I know enough. C’mon, I’ve gotta keep you up for a few hours to make sure you don’t have a concussion. I rented Poltergeist, so we can watch that.” You placed a hand firmly on his shoulder, refusing to give him the notion that you were even the slightest bit worried. This town has done nothing but become stranger and stranger, and little did you know this was the first chapter into learning the truth.

 Whenever I'd have life enough, my heart is screamin' of

  A thick layer of dust and smoke coated the air as you finally cracked open your eyes. A violent wet cough racking through your body as a loud ringing pierced your ears causing you to spit up the thick metallic taste of your own blood. The faint and blurry sight of dark red splotches on the uncomfortable rubble that grounded you to the earth. Pain etches itself into your bones as you try to move. Your efforts are all for naught though as it becomes painfully clear that trying to breathe is proving to be difficult. So you give up, growing weaker by each passing moment and each forced breath.

You are going to die here. You crossed the line and now you are just laying here a dried out husk waiting for Death’s steel toed boot to crush you. For your last breath to be that satisfying crunch signifying the end of your life. You couldn’t help it as your body used whatever warmth it had left to make your face grow hot as your eyes began to water. It was never supposed to end this way. You were never meant to be here. 

As you began to sob and your nose began to run; you bored the heels of your palms into your eye sockets, trying to dry your tears and suck it up. Your hands slowly moved into your hair as your breathing became erratic. You couldn’t help but to be scared, this isn’t how you pictured your end. You loosely drafted it out based on your genetics, it was supposed to be cancer, or maybe old age, or it could’ve been addiction; but it wasn’t this. As your fingers raked through knotted hair you reached the back of your skull you felt the thick wet stickiness of blood. Shakily you ventured further ghosting over the wound and then physically feeling it. The throbbing, the warmth of an open wound colliding with the harsh winter air as you finally focused on the affliction. Hitting the high of your panic attack as you screamed a scream you didn’t think you were capable of. 

The blood curdling sound causes Billy to whip his head in your direction, “(Y/N)!” The anger in his bloodstream simmered into fear as he sprinted towards the sound of a scream he rebuked. Kicking up little debris of the remainder of a lab that imprisoned him for two years. Ignoring the sharp pains in his limbs that didn’t look like his. “(Y/N)!”, he screamed for you again, trying to track you down. Hoping only for what could be considered the best in this situation. 

“(Y/N)!” Max called after you as she followed her brother into hope as El did her best to stay on their heels. Steve and Robin supported Hopper as they trekked behind. 

They were going to find you. Your eyes would succumb to the weight of your eyelids and you could barely hear them, but they would find you. Billy would use all of his remaining strength to pull you into his arms and load you into a piece of shit van; were after the story of confession you would take your last breath and this chapter would come to a close.

 And in a few days I would be there, love

Whatever here that's left of me is yours just as it was

 You sat next to Billy on the couch sharing a bowl of popcorn as you watched- what you thought was the overrated and overhyped- Poltergeist. You didn’t focus much on it as you mainly kept your eyes on Billy to make sure he hadn’t fallen asleep. You cared for Billy a lot deeper than what you intended to, you wanted him. But, then again you wondered who didn’t want him. Just about every fling that he has had- that ran in your same circle- was convinced they could change him. Fix him and make him settle down. Get married straight out of high school, have a couple kids and the dog along with the white picket fence and dark red painted front door; and maybe- if he really loved them- he’d take them to California where they could smell the salt water and feel their toes between the sand. Obviously, each girl tried and failed labeling him a man whore and claiming to hate him, but in reality would give up their first born at another chance to try and truly get to know him. 

“What are you looking at?” His voice derails your train of thought as your eyes flick back to the television. 

“Just making sure you didn’t fall asleep and trying to piece together your story. Your knuckles and head still hurt?” Billy returned your lack of warmth with a shrug and an annoyed grunt. The aspirin got rid of the headache and the ice pack relieved the pain in his knuckles. Billy glanced at you longingly as you trained your eyes to the television. You’ve been so quiet, too quiet. 

“I’m telling you the truth. I lie a lot- and I’ll admit that- but I tell you the truth.” Your cheeks flushed slightly causing Billy to smirk. Oh, did that get to you? Did his trust in you cause you to feel something? “Y’know Max had me stopping at some very interesting houses tonight. MILF’s are really present in Hawkins, huh?” A spark of satisfaction ignited itself in Billy as you looked away from the television to glare daggers at him. “Y’know, I think I’ve outgrown school girls. I’m thinking I should set my sights a little higher, a little older. What do you think of Mrs.Wheeler?”

You took in a deep exhausted breath through your nostrils as you moved to were you completely faced him, “Are you out of your fucking mind? Not only is she married but she’s Nancy’s mom. Y’know the love of your ‘arch enemy’s’ life.” Air quoting ‘arch enemy’, because honestly you didn’t know why Billy hated Steve so much. Steve never did anything to him, you just chalked it up to Billy’s alpha male complex. 

“Kill two birds with one stone.” 

“No, it’ll take you from ‘man whore’ status to ‘homewrecker’ status and that is the last thing you need to tarnish your reputation with.” Hawkins is a small town and word travels faster than a hummingbird. You’ve learned to examine the consequences of every word that falls from your mouth. Billy hummed out a note of satisfaction before looking back to the movie. “She has three kids, Billy. Three.” 

“So?” He stated more than asked, starting to creep his way further under your skin. The raise of your eyebrows and the deep breath you took more than confirmed your flare up from the inside. 

“So, you can’t go around making messes you don’t intend on cleaning up.” 

“Who said I wouldn’t clean up?” Every word sinking into your bones and giving him more satisfaction. Showing him everything he wanted to see, even if it wasn’t in the way he truly wanted. He wanted you to tell him no because you wanted him, not because he was implying he’d break up a family. 

“Someone who actually knows you. It’s too much and you know it.” You moved closer to him slightly before crossing your arms, “Think for once Billy. It’s a small town and being involved with a parent will get out and it will spread like a wildfire. This isn’t laid back Cali where affairs are just a normal thing to happen, this is an uptight Midwest small town. The damage that can do to a family, especially a well respected and well off family.” 

“She could say no.” He rolled his eyes before looking at you. Seeing you actually upset over something theoretical made him stop, “I’m-.”

You cut him off before he could utter another word, “She wouldn’t and you know she wouldn’t,” You didn’t know exactly what it was about tonight’s events and this conversation that set you off, but you were about ready to fly off the handle, “Isn’t everyone else being wrapped around your fingers enough? You’ve got Emily, Tammy, Carol, and hell Nancy fucking Wheeler has probably had a wet dream or two of you two going at it while Steve’s giving a speech at his graduation party. And now you want to cut your way through the sea of moms? Isn’t that enough? I just don’t understand you have everyone. Everyone.” Including you, especially you. He didn’t know that of course, or maybe he did and just refused to recognize it. He knew the collateral damage he could cause and he didn’t want you to have to foot the bill for any of it. You didn’t deserve it and he didn’t deserve you.

As your eyes averted his, he stared you down, trying to dissect everything you just said. Hoping for a confession- needing more- he didn’t know how much longer the teasing could subside this hunger; because once you said the words he knew he wouldn’t be strong enough to keep this distance he’s been trying to maintain, “Not everyone.” His sultry tone like honey as he inched closer to you, forcing you to look at him and only him. 

In an instant it was like something clicked, like you finally solved the equation. You don’t know what spike of courage you had or why you decided now was the time to act; maybe it was because he was so close, or maybe it was because his cologne clouded all sense of reason, but you quickly pulled him to you closing the tiniest gap that was left between the two of you. Your lips smashing together as you sensed Billy tense up; you surprised the hell out of him. You knocked the air out of his lungs and opened the floodgates of conflicting emotions that touched every part of his body. Fear that was cut with the slightest bit of anger; the confusion, ecstasy, serenity, overwhelming joy. As the warmth of your lips was replaced with the cool air of A/C every emotion he was feeling was replaced with grief. The immediate regret plastered on your face as you looked at him like a deer caught in headlights, “Everyone.” You admitted as you went to leave him on the couch. By the way he looked at you shocked and speechless was enough to prove to you that your math was wrong and you acted before really thinking. Something you always scolded Billy for doing. 

Billy quickly reached for your wrist pulling you into him, “I just want one. Just one, just you.” His secret is out, his confession known to someone other than just him. He planted his lips on yours, hungerly devouring your frame as you relaxed against him. Your arms snaked their way around his neck as his arms wrapped around your torso pulling you as close to him as he could get you. The air growing hot and thick as you both desperately craved more of each other until you pried yourself away from him. “What’s wrong?” He asked concerned as he went to brush some hair out of your face. He couldn’t get over how soft you were or the suppleness of your skin. You were giving him this high that felt too good to be true. 

“You- you got hit upside the head, we- we need to stop. What if-?” 

“I’ll stop.” He interrupted you, surprising even himself at how fast he buckled to you, “I’ll stop.” He repeated as he felt you let out a deep breath of relief. He meant every word he said, he wanted you. Only you. But he also knew your overthinking and second guessing had to have been running rampant in your mind, and it was, and it was overwhelming. Billy’s hand was glued to your check as the side of his thumb ghosted your check bone, “Just stay.” He begged as your eyes softened and kissed his cheek. Slowly falling from that rush of panic you felt. Looking at him was like looking at a Renaissance painting. You nodded before leaning all your weight against him. You curled your fingers in his hair as he ran his fingers up and down your spine. 

Eventually- after Billy shut off the tv - you both fell asleep on the couch. You passed out before he did, though. You made him promise to stay up for at least another thirty minutes just to make sure he was okay. He listened for two reasons; one: he was way too content to argue and two: the electricity he felt wouldn’t allow sleep. So he sat there with you in his lap listening to your breathing and feeling the rise and fall of your chest. It relaxed him while everything about this terrified him. His mind ran through every possibility on how this would end. But, in all honesty he didn’t really care about the outcome, he only cared about now. All he wanted was right now. Whatever was to happen would happen, and whatever was left of him after would always be yours. 

 Just as it was, baby

Before the otherness came

 “How much exactly do you remember?” Billy asked from the uncomfortable waiting chair in the corner of the hospital room. He’s been staring you down from behind a pair of aviators for what feels like hours. 

“So it speaks?” You tease, your gaze trails from your hands to the pair of dark tinted frames. Billy was here when you woke up and was also the first person you saw leaning over you in your hospital bed. His face eventually mixed itself in with a bunch of other faces you didn’t recognize and that threw you even more for a loop when Billy quickly shut and locked the door and told you ‘that it was for the better if you had some time to be awake before they started picking at your brain’, you had no idea what he was talking about but you quickly understood when you were surrounded by the now former chief of police and government officials. You didn’t remember a thing. Not the research, or the fights, not even him. “Not much. I only know what you all have told me and I’d say I only believe half of it.” You said as you tried to adjust to the uncomfortable hospital bed that you’ve been bound to. 

“Can’t say I blame you. I wouldn’t believe it either.” Billy said, letting out a horse chuckle and looking away from you. It hurt, but he guessed it was what he deserved. He was just grateful you were alive. He couldn’t help but see this as a second chance, and one he won’t fuck up. 

This is the first time he’s uttered more than a couple of words to you one on one, but he’s been with you this whole time. From the moment you opened your eyes to now he’s been in this room with you. In your mind if what happened really happened, then it made complete sense that they wanted someone with you at all times. What didn’t click to you though is why that someone was Billy Hargrove and not a cop. 

“So you do? Believe it, that is.” Your voice cuts through the tensed silence as he looks to you, studying your form, noting your hesitancy. 

“Sweetheart, I remember it. I don’t have a choice.” Rolling your eyes at the nickname you started to fidget with your nails. It didn’t make sense, none of it made any sense. That kind of shit doesn’t just happen and it most certainly doesn’t happen to you. But, at the same time you were sitting in a hospital bed with William Hargrove, someone you barely knew, someone you constantly fought with, someone who was so full of himself that there was no way he would be here if something didn’t happen to the both of you. So you decide to give.

“Well, I guess it really happened then.” Billy was a little shocked that you were so open to this so quickly. Part of him wished you weren’t. He wanted to keep it a secret, all of it, but doctors and the others were persistent. Their main argument being you weren’t going to let it go and you were going to find out one way or another, either through non-stop sleuthing or maybe even just one day remembering. Worst of all he knew that they were right. “I really went after you, huh?” Your head tilted a little as you brought your knees to your chest. Billy swallowed roughly and took a deep breath. He wasn’t ready for whatever he thought this conversation was going to be.

“Yeah. And you’re an idiot for it.” He said, trying to shut the conversation down before it got too far. Focusing on the door he crossed his arms as his right leg bounced nervously. You rolled your eyes at his tone not understanding what you possibly could’ve said to make him ready to jump down your throat. You did save his life, did he get that or was he just that stupid? 

“Yeah, well at least you’re here.” Looking away from him you tried to suppress a cough. “I’m glad you’re here.” You admitted, and it was the truth. Out of all the faces you’ve seen today the only one that brought a sense of calm was his and the closest one that seemed like a friend. You talked to him nearly everyday, even if it was mindless bickering, it was the closest thing you had to a friend. You moved to sit on your legs as you looked at him, trying to piece something together. Hell, you were begging for him to give you something. Anything, that would bring his demeanor back to that insufferable flirt. Something normal, anything normal. 

“Admitting your feelings for me already, Princess? Don’t you think it’s a little early?” He gave, moving to the edge of his seat his leg calming to a more acceptable pace. Your eyes shut as you sighed with a smile. So this is where you placed him, that stupid boy in the back of geometry class. 

“In your dreams, Hargrove. In your dreams.” You both laughed. You wanted to keep laughing so you covered your mouth trying desperately to fight off this cough that was working it’s way up your throat. The effort went nowhere though as thick coughs shook your whole body violently as you grasped to the roughly textured plastic bed side. Like the bed was the only thing that tethered you to the earth. The fear that if you let go you would be gone and this time you wouldn’t come back. 

As you are caught up there Billy’s movements are quick as he is by your bedside in mere seconds. A rough scarred hand on your back and the other one holding a bedpan close to your mouth. “It’s okay. Get it out.” His tone was so soft that if you hadn’t known that Billy was the only other person in the room with you, you would’ve sworn it was someone else. You take the pan from him and turn, throwing up a thick dark substance that coats your lips as it exits your body. Billy’s hand stays glued to your back as you rinse your mouth out with water from the bedside table. He rubs your back gently as you cough trying to clear your throat.

“Thanks.” It comes out weak and strained, embarrassed to be seen so weak in front of someone you made sure saw you as so strong. Billy’s thumb brushes against your spine in an effort to try and comfort you. The feeling of your warm back simultaneously comforting him while punishing him. Nothing was the same and it never would be the same.  

“No problem, Princess. Someone’s gotta take care of you.” A chuckle escapes your lips before looking back to him, trapping him into eye contact even if you could just barely make out the shape and color of his eyes through the tinted lenses. You’ve lost years of your life and everything was so different, even Billy was different. The one constant in your life was different. More serious and shadowed in sorrow, something you thought you would never see in him. So much sorrow. 

As you studied him and he studied you, you looked so scared and unsure. Like a deer in headlights not knowing if it was better to back up or move forward. ‘All. Your. Fault.’ played back in his head as his brows knitted together. He wanted to take back everything, he wanted nothing more than to go back and stop himself from going back to you that one night he gave himself a flat tire on a pothole. To stop himself from giving in and holding you on the couch until you both fell asleep and waking you up the next morning by peppering kisses on your jaw and neck. To keep himself from howling for you from the upside down. To make sure he didn’t reach out to you for help at that damn funeral home. Without thinking the hand placed on your back only ghosted your cheek before you flinched. Breaking eye contact Billy pulled away from you painfully distancing himself mentally and physically. 

But before he could step towards the chair you grabbed his arm. You felt pathetic, but this is the most physical human contact you’ve had in days. You struggled as your grip on him tightened, you’ve never been like this. Why are you now so desperate for someone?  Why was it him? Billy’s other hand wrapped gently around yours as he held it while taking a seat on the edge of the bed. “I’m sorry.” You said, curling your fingers around his own. 

Billy broke, you’re sorry? You have nothing to apologize for, he should be the one on his knees begging you for any crumb of forgiveness that you might mercifully offer him. He quickly brought you into his chest, finally feeling how weak your frame felt. How much you’ve withered away in this stupid bed. A ghost of your former self clinging onto what it could as the unforgiving realization finally set in. The warmth of Billy’s chest comforting you as you began to cry. He pulled himself onto the bed as your body rested against him shaking as he cradled your head with one hand and held you close with the other. Gripping his shirt you said it again, “I’m sorry.” 

Agony, he was in agony as he choked down tears while trying to comfort you. He tries to shush you as he buries his head in your hair. Everything that you were is gone and now you have to put back the pieces from the stories of you from somebody else's mouth. Stories from some who you have only known for a week. Stories from people you thought were only mere acquaintances. “I’m here.” Two little mumbled words coming from the mouth of someone who might as well be a stranger brought you some comfort as you weeped into his chest.

 And I knew its name

The drug,

 You followed Billy into the house, slamming the front door behind you, “What in the utter fuck was that?” You questioned him, your anger nearly boiling over with each word. Billy just grunted as he continued down the war path to his room to get away from you. His face flush with a mix of anger and frustration. He knows you want him to stop and try to have an adult conversation about why he yanked you away from your date at Enzo’s. He knew that you were trying to keep yourself from yelling at him for working you up over a serious issue that didn’t exist. But in this particular predicament it was better that his eyes didn’t linger on you for too long. “Billy, I asked you a question.” Your tone starts to turn firm and strict. You said on his heels as he roughly pushed open his bedroom door nearly yanking the doorknob off. He was only a man and there’s only so much a man can take. 

“It doesn’t matter.” He gruffed out trying to shut the door before you could get inside. He wasn’t fast enough though, as you slammed your shoulder into the door pushing with everything you had to keep the door open enough to where you could try to slide in. Billy may be a hell of a lot stronger than you, but you knew that it’d still be a battle you would win. “(Y/N), I swear I will explain myself later.” He tried to compromise with you, knowing full well he was going to avoid ever talking about this again. 

You grunted, putting everything you had into a final shove that surprised him enough to make him give. Stepping fully into the room you planted your ground with your hands on your hips and hair a frizzled mess, “What is your deal lately?” Billy just let out a deep heavy sigh and against his better judgement he shut his bedroom door. Forced to look at you now he tried to stop the back of his neck from heating up. That cinched black velvet sweetheart off the shoulder dress wasn’t doing him any favors. He wanted to feel what your gentle frame felt like against him. He wanted to experience the soft and subtle changes time had left you with. 

“My deal?” He began with a chuckle. He was jealous you were out on a date. But, he was furious that he didn’t know about it; he had to find out from Steve. Steve was the one that broke the news to him, not you. It seems like everyone knew but him, and it hurt, “My deal is you. What the hell are you thinking? Going for David? Brain damage really did a number on you.” 

 Your eyebrows shot up as your eyes widened in disbelief. Any hopes of this being a conversation flew out the window; this was going to be an argument, a huge argument, “You ruined my night, you have no right to be an asshole to me right now!” You pointed at him, “He asked me out, I said yes, and there is nothing wrong with that. There is nothing wrong with me going out with him!” 

Billy scoffed putting his hands on his hips before laughing, “Let’s count all the reasons why there is something wrong with that,” He held up one finger, “First, I work with the dude.” He held up another, “Two, I definitely don’t trust him. He’s an egotistical, manipulative, bleach bottle blond that rolled in here from Santa Carla, California.” And holding up the third and final finger he said, “You didn’t fucking tell me you were going out with him! I would’ve stopped you then and there, so you knew- you fucking knew- I’d have a problem with it!” 

“I don’t have to tell you every little fucking thing I do!” He was right, you didn’t tell him because you knew he would have heavily encouraged you not to go. He would have implanted that worm in your brain that reassured the fact that David wasn’t safe. He would have poked lightly at you for going for the adult ‘bad boy’. He would’ve done or said anything to keep you away from him and you would’ve listened. You would’ve hoped he was steering you clear because he wanted you. You would’ve hoped that it would break him enough to make him make a move. You felt stupid for even thinking that though and maybe that’s why you went ahead with David. You knew David was bad news, you knew that he would be a waste of time, yet you wanted him. Just for a little while, just long enough to try and fill this hole you felt. “You're not my dad. Have you ever thought that maybe I want to date him? Or maybe that I just want a little fling, and that’s okay!”

“I never said it wasn’t.” He took a deep breath and tried not to look you up and down. You really pulled out the stops for him, huh? Exposing your curves and chest, he knew what you wanted. “You can date, fling, whatever! Just not with him!” 

“You are so full of shit, Hargrove!” Your face grew hot and you were livid, you walked closer to him, “You can’t tell me what to do and you sure as hell can’t tell me who I can and cannot be with.” 

“I highly recommend listening to me on this subject.” His voice was thick, “And I can beat the shit out of any mother fucker that I know isn’t worth your time.” He stared into your eyes as he meant every word. He knew that you knew better, he knew that you knew David was so full of shit. “I’m right about this and you know it and it pisses you off, doesn’t it? That’s why you're so red, that’s why you’re getting so defensive,” his eyes flickering from your lips, to your chest, back to your lips, then returning to your eyes, “Just admit it.” He was losing his grip the more he focused on you, the more this possessive urge boiled in his blood stream; the more he just wanted to take you, and claim you, and mark you. Make you his. You drew him in deeper just by getting closer to him. 

“That is not what this is about.” You said, nearly choking on the heat that radiated from both of your bodies. He was turning to rock while you started to melt, “I get what I want. And if I-.” You went to poke him again but he roughly grabbed your wrist, stopping any movement. His grasp was firm but it didn’t cause any pain. 

“Don’t you dare.” He threatened, knowing exactly what you were going to say. The thought sent fire up his spine. 

“Or what?” You tempted him, ready to sting, “What are you going to do, Billy? Send me to bed without a glass of water and a goodnight kiss?” Teasing him as you got closer, only centimeters away from him. 

“Fuck you.” His words cut through the thick tension. You couldn’t risk this relationship, you couldn’t risk this closeness. He was there from day one, he was patient, he was gentle, he was kind. He was so much more than what you remembered him being. 

He can’t have you, he told himself he couldn’t have you. But, he has fallen once before. He’s done nothing but curse you since the moment you showed him an ounce of humanity. You were addictive, you were the remedy, but him? He was all the negative side effects to every high.

“You couldn’t even if you tried.” The thick sweet tempting honey of your words dripping from your mouth. You tried to savor them as half lidded eyes lustfully stared him down. Listening in the silence for his heartbeat “I want-.” You were cut off by his lips colliding forcefully with yours. Your teeth clattering together as he hungrily devoured you. 

Dull alarms went off in his head as he let go of your wrist and pulled your face to his. Hot and heavy as you snaked your arms around his neck, intertwining your fingers lightly with his hair. You gave to him so easily it nearly scared you. He had you in the palm of his hands and it was only now that you realized how long you’ve been waiting there. You didn’t have much time to think about it though as he pushed you onto his bed. The impact sends hints of pine, deep amber whiskey, and stale cigarettes into your lungs. His scent envelopes you as he comes to meet you. Planting a gentler kiss on your lips, but nonetheless desperate. Guiding you up to the headboard while fumbling with his belt. Each kiss is deeper and laced with passion, sending a wet heat to your core. 

“I told you to stop. I told you no.” His voice thick and muffled as he spoke against your lips, “Look where you are now. Look where you ended up.” He warned as he felt you push yourself deeper into his chest. His mouth moving to your neck as his calloused fingers tugged at the zipper of your dress. The satisfying noise it made was nothing compared to the moan that fell from your lips the moment he kissed that sweet spot just underneath your jaw. He still knew your body like the back of his hand.

As he trailed further down he unhooked your strapless bra and discarded it in the corner of the room. His mouth leaves your skin only long enough to yank your dress off. Leaving only a few seconds for the vulnerability of your situation to sink in before a grabby hand grabbed one breast, massaging while his mouth went to your collarbone sucking. Hickey’s typically weren’t your thing, but they were his, and he wasn’t going to not mark you after your attitude. 

A sultry moan left your lips giving into him as he moved back up your neck. It was replaced rather quickly though as he sunk his teeth into your neck, your body stiffening as your hand quickly wrapped around his arm. It didn’t stop him though as he added more pressure, the slight pain quickly turning into pleasure. A louder and more defined moan falling from your lips as you relaxed. Feeling bare benthe him you started to pull at his shirt. You needed to feel his skin against yours. A dark chuckle left his lips as he pulled from you to take off his shirt and throw it into the same corner your dress and bra were forgotten in. You went to say something but was cut off as he went straight for that soft spot of yours. Your hands shooting for his neck and cupping it as you clenched your thighs together all while a moan left you. 

His lips found yours again as his hand moved quickly down your stomach and in between your legs. The thin black lace of your underwear is the only thing between the pads of his fingers and your clit. Just the warmth radiating from in between your legs is enough to drive him mad, “Say it.” He growled into your ear, “Tell me you want it.” He demanded as he nibbled on your earlobe. You whined and pressed deeper into him. 

“I want it. Please, Billy, please.” You bitterly begged, bucking your hips for an ounce of friction. An uncomfortableness formed as you felt the harshness of wet lace against your most sensitive areas. If it wasn’t for your desperation you would’ve felt embarrassed that you were already so needy. “Please, please, please.” Falling from slightly parted lips as he toyed with the hem of your underwear before sliding his hand in and burying two fingers in between your lips.

“Jesus, fuck.” He slurred out running his fingers up and down, your clit in between them. You arched your back groaning, your body begging him to focus on that bundle of nerves. You were soaked and it drove him insane, the immense amount of pleasure he felt knowing he was the reason made his dick twitch. Each movement he made made you buck your hips slightly, God did you know how to put on a show. “You’re soaked, (Y/N). Do you really want it that much?” He teased you as the pads of fingers finally applied pressure to your clit. You let out a short gasp and a thick moan as all you could do was nod your head, unable to focus on his condescending tone. Unable to stay coy underneath him. “God dammit, (Y/N).” He mumbled before his lips kissed your neck and quickly trailed up to your own while moving his fingers in circles on your clit, the pace rising and falling as long as he could concentrate on it. His mind moves 100 miles a minute from your heat, to your lips, to the blissed expression on your face, to the tightness in his pants. 

That was until your hand cupped his face forcing him to look deeply into your eyes. “I want you.” Three little words that kicked him into gear faster than light. He pulled his hand away abruptly causing a sting of emptiness; it was short lived though as his knee shot up and rested firmly against you, the harsh denim of his jeans causing you to arch your back. Before you could pay it much mind though his sudden movements caught your attention. His fingers were in his mouth, sucking your juices off of them before helping his other hand rip off your underwear. You went to prop yourself up to pull his jeans off. Your grabby hands getting in one good pull before he pushed you back on the bed; taking off his pants and underwear before his fingers dug into your hips as he dived head first in between your legs. “Billy!” You gasped as he wasted no time lapping at your clit, “Billy.” You moaned, clenching your thighs around his head as your fingers gripped to his hair. “Don’t stop.” 

He had no intention of stopping. He was going to make you cum and he was going to savor it. His tongue toyed with you clit while he sneaks glances of heaven. The softness of your lips along and your ever-growing arousal drawing him deeper. Your body growing hotter and more humid as your stomach knotted itself over and over caused your body to tremble. Your back arching and rutting your hips against his face as he ate you like you were his last meal. You wanted to say something, you wanted to tell him, but you couldn’t form a single word. Instead you just whimpered as your thighs started to erratically shake. 

“That’s it, Princess.” He cheered you on as he buried himself deeper into you. His mouth watering at the fruits of his labor, not being able to get enough of you. His tongue traced around your opening and teased it lightly. 

“B-Billy. I-I can’t-.” You started to stutter out. You needed him to stop, you wanted him in you. You needed to feel his cock in you. “I’m going- fuck Billy.” 

“Don’t you dare hold back.” He growled against you as his nails dug into your soft thighs. “Cum for me, Princess. I need you to cum for me.” He murmured lovingly into you before lapping at your clit. And that was it. Your body stiffened as your back arched while your stomach tightened and then released. A soft pleasure filled scream that turned into a moan left you as you relaxed, grinding on him as you tugged on his hair. 

Billy couldn’t help the smirk as he licked you clean. You let go of his hair as your hands found the sides of his head. Your fingers brush some of his hair behind his ear before he kisses your lips, and then your pubic bone, and then up your stomach. His face was covered in you and as his lips devoured your own, you melted against him tasting yourself. The moment giving you a breather while he tried not to focus on the pain of how hard he was. The ache he felt for you and your desire to be full of him. Your hand crept cautiously as he was distracted by your constant contact. The electricity palibable. Your fingertips barely grazed the head of his cock, the feeling of pre cum just ghosting your fingers before he yanked your hand away. 

You groaned, “I want you.” You whined, kissing down his neck. He relaxed into you as you ran your free hand gently down his spine, gingerly touching his scars. His grip on you relaxed and you began to think you were going to get your way as you sneakily tried to wrap your hand around his length. But, the light at the end of the tunnel was farther away than you thought as he pinned your arms to the bed. 

“Patience is a virtue.” He mocked, moving your hands above your head and pinning you down with one hand. You stared up at him with a smirk, it nearly made you laugh. Patience, he was rock solid and he wanted to wait? The feeling quickly vanished as he parted your legs with his knee and his hand found your clit rubbing gentle circles with little pressure. Teasing you as you arched your back and he buried himself into your neck. “Done with your breather?” He asked, kissing up your neck to your ear while also lining his dick up with your entrance. His head teasing you as a shiver ran up and down your spine. You nodded as you moaned. You were more than ready and he had to have known. “Do you have any idea how long I’ve waited? And you’re just begging for it.” 

You drove him mad, “Say it, again.” He let go of your wrists and cupped your face forcing you to look at him. It felt as if time had slowed as you wrapped your arms around his neck and brought your lips to his. Your lips were so soft and your trust, passion, and love laced in your kiss was full of sincerity. Taking this fit of passion into something serious. Way too serious, and it set Billy’s heart aflame as he wrapped his arm around your torso. Pulling you closer, needing you closer. 

“I want you.” You confessed, looking deep into an ocean of blue that held you captive. He broke eye contact as he buried his head into the crook of your neck mumbling something you couldn’t quite hear. You couldn’t begin to try and make it out though as he started to slide into you. A whine left you at the sudden feeling of him inside you raw. You threw your head back as he continued to push, a loud moan leaving your lips as soon as he was all the way inside you. The sound music to his ears as he groaned against you. 

“Fuck.” He cursed, you were so warm and ready for him that it made his dick twitch. “I am going to fucking wreck you.” Was the last thing you heard before he violently started to thrust into you. Soft yelps and screams leaving your lips as the feeling of ecstasy raptured your senses. 

You dug your teeth into his shoulder causing him to wince, but not stop. Muffling your cries as Billy slowed his pace, “I need to hear you.” He said, pushing you gently off of him and resting you against the bed, “I need to see you.” Was all he said and before you could utter another word he was back at it again. With more intensity giving you no time to adjust to sudden change of positioning. Wrapping your legs around him you rested your hands against his shoulders, digging your nails into his skin. 

“B-Billy. . .” You stuttered out his name as he dicked you down, and your thighs began to shake, “Billy, fuck, with me, please.” A broken sentence that you hoped conveyed the message to him. You captured his eyes with a doe-like stare that begged him to cum with you. “Please, please, please. I can’t- I can’t.” Your back arched and tangled your fingers in his hair, tugging slightly, “I want you. I want you. I want you.” You repeat until a strong scarred hand finds your throat. That was all you needed as you buck your hips slightly and your body is riddled with ecstasy as a thick moan works its way out of you. 

Billy letting go of your neck cums deep inside of you as he buries his head in the crook of your neck out of exhaustion. A deep groan nearly muffled by your skin. Sweat beads on his brow as his dick twitches inside you, giving you every last drop. Your body relaxing and your hand raking it’s way up his head, gently holding him against you. Riding out your highs, taking in the smell of sex, and the humidity of the room forming around your frames. Billy stays in you as you hold him against you. Your free hand running up and down his shoulder blade as he tightens his grip on you.

The decision being made in the middle of such a dazed high he didn’t want to come down from. Pulling out of you and keeping you against him as he rolled onto his side. His sheets sticking to him as he laid on his side with you glued to him. One hand moving his hands up the back of your neck and into your head, only slightly brushing against the end of your scar. He quickly retreated his hand and went for the sheets, pulling them up to your shoulders. 

You wanted to say something, you felt like you needed to say something, but you couldn’t bring yourself to. You couldn’t think of the right thing to say. You didn’t know what he was thinking or if he even meant anything he said to you tonight. Afraid to even admit that everything you said was true, you wanted him just as desperately as you made it sound. But every thought that is zipping in your head is put to a stop as he plants a kiss on the top of your head. The realization of how heavy your eyelids are and how tired your body is distracts your train of thought. 

He’s so warm and his frame is so strong. You cuddle into him and settle into the silence. His heart rate calms as your fingernails begin to lightly scratch his scalp. Him just as exhausted as you as he takes in a deep breath savoring the feeling of your frame against him. He got what he wanted, he got to feel you against him now. Time didn’t change anything, you were still gentle, soft, and warm. Your chest still rose and fell with dignity and poise as you breathed. Your eyes still sparkled and your lips were just as addictive. Your hair was still soft and healthy, but that damn scar that he felt for the first time plagued him. He only felt it for seconds, but it was enough to stab him in the heart and set him on his path. He loved you and that would never change.

You loved him too, you always had. Part of you knew it. You didn’t remember your time with Billy before it came, but you knew you had to have loved him. You wouldn’t have chased after him if you didn’t, and who knows maybe one day you would remember. Maybe one day soon and you could make it up to him for forgetting. You open your mouth to say sorry, to beg him to forgive you, for him to tell you the truth about your lives before they were taken.

But he cuts you off before you can even utter a word, “Go to sleep, I’ve got you.” He reassures you as he ghosts his thumb up and down on your spine. Maybe it’s best if you don’t utter a word and just rest against his chest. You can compile yourself in the morning and tell him every little thing on your mind. So, regretfully you listen and within minutes you are comfortably asleep against him breathing in the same air as him. This decision though is something that haunts you the moment you wake up.

  the dark, 

  It was a pitch black Indiana night and Billy hadn’t talked to you all day. You weren’t in geometry and when he snuck past your last period study hall you weren’t there either. He laid in bed trying to remember if he even saw your car in the school parking lot. It wasn’t like you to not show up to school, it was one of the few things to get you out of that damn house. Glancing at the clock he realized it was way past your typical night time phone call and that caused him to get up and make his way to the living room.

As he flopped into the recliner he picked up the phone but hesitated to dial. He was worried to say the very least and he hasn’t felt this way about someone in a very long time. He debated on pushing it away and waiting until tomorrow. You’d have to show up tomorrow, right? But what if you didn’t? What if there was an accident? What if someone in Hawkins fell out of the cuckoo's nest and kidnapped the teenage girl who lived by herself? Those last three words repeated in his head. You were all alone out closer to nowhere than to Hawkins. Billy swallowed whatever pride he had and started to dial your number on the keypad angrily. What were you thinking of not contacting him? At least sending something to tell him you were okay. 

As the phone rang his leg started to bounce quickly with anxiety, his current internal conflict drowning out the noise of a toilet flushing, water running, and Max stepping out of the bathroom. 

“What’re you doing?” She whispered with a raised eyebrow and a puzzled expression, “Billy?” Saying his name and getting his attention. He turned to look at her and covered the end of the phone with his hand. 

“Nothing, twerp. Go the fuck back to bed.” He snapped at her before slamming the phone down and pushing himself off the couch. Yanking his jean jacket off of the coat hook and turning to her as he put it on, “Don’t go blabbing on me, got it? You might have to figure out a way to school, don’t know yet.” He said before turning and reaching for the front door. Max went to argue with him about the inconvenience but he cut her off without a second thought, “I’ll give you a couple free rides to the arcade for your noble sacrifice.” She was shocked to say the least. Was Billy showing her a sense of genuine kindness or was he just covering his tracks? And once again before she could question his actions or attitude he cut her off, “A couple.” He reinstated before walking out the front door, the conversation over just as soon as it had started. 

As his eyes adjusted to the dark he got into his car and was out and away from Old Cherry Road. Speeding with a watchful eye in your direction. What was your deal? You were fine yesterday, why the cold shoulder today? He started raking through the memories of last night wondering what he did wrong. But, nothing came to mind. He had you doubled over in laughter half the night while you two played your little game of cat and mouse, him winning. Although it seems as if you were winning tonight, putting him in a real spiral. 

Even though he didn’t like to admit it he was upset. He was angry and worried, and the thought of you ditching him for something else- someone else- making him jealous. As he parked a couple feet away he cursed as he got out of the car. Shoving his hands into his jacket pocket and heading up your driveway, “God dammit, (Y/N). You better be asleep or I swear to God-.” The sight of an unlit porch light stopping him dead in his tracks. That light was always on, you always left the porch light on. “(Y/N).” He nearly yelled your name as he ran to the front door trying to open it. It was locked, you never locked the front door. You said- and he quotes- ‘There isn’t a sense in locking it, it’s Hawkins, Indiana.’, yeah right until a crazy person wanders into town and hacks you up in the middle of the night. 

At this point he abandoned the front door and was working his way to the side of the house and to the back. He approached the sliding glass door; strike two: the kitchen light wasn’t on. He cursed lifting up the welcome mat grabbing the spare key only now realizing that maybe he’s spent too much time here. Sliding the key into the lock he slid open the door and creeped in. Breaking and entering, how many months is that? He wondered as he headed for the stairs. Shaking his head to get rid of the unwelcome thoughts as they appeared in his brain. 

Taking each step slowly his eyes locked on your bedroom a slight redness creeping to his cheeks. He’s never been in your room and it was comical that Billy Hargrove was blushing at the thought of being in your room. A heart throb that has been in many teenage girls' rooms was blushing at the thought of finally being in your room. The cold metal of the doorknob heated from the warmth of his hand as he turned it slowly opening the door. 

“(Y/N)?” He whispered your name, opening the door completely. He scanned the room and then began to actually start searching. He looked under your bed, in your closet, and then decided to search the house. You weren’t anywhere to be found, nearly falling down the stairs as he ran to the phone to call the police. The sound of the front door opening stopped him, he quickly hung the phone back on the hook and hid behind the doorway of the kitchen. 

“Yeah, mom, I know.” You said, exhausted as you kicked the front door open and helped your highly intoxicated mother into the house. “He’s a jackass that doesn’t deserve you. Let’s get you to bed, okay?” Billy let out a sigh of relief as you pulled your mom up the stairs, your eyes catching your bedroom door open but brushed it off as you headed for the master bedroom. 

“You’re so sweet. I love you, you know that. The best thing in my life.” Your mother slurred as you guided her to the plush king size mattress. You pulled up her feet and pulled off her shoes while just nodding your head. Sweet, but you wished she could say it so easily sober. You pulled out the comforter from under her while Billy sneaked back out of the house. You tucked her in before grabbing the trash bin and taking off her glasses. 

“Go to sleep, mom. I can’t ditch school again so you’ll be by yourself for the day, okay?” She just hummed before cuddling into the pillow, sleep washing over her as quickly as it ever had. You just sighed knowing every word you said to her meant nothing and you’d have to leave a note for her to find around noon. 

After you shut the door you rested against it, rubbing your eyes and taking a deep breath. Fighting off tears as you stood up straight heading for your room flicking the light on and shutting the door behind you. Starting to take off your shirt until you hear the light taps against your window. You pull the fabric to your chest as you go to look out at the window seeing Billy throwing pebbles against the glass. You couldn’t fight the smile as you pulled the shirt back on and opened the window. 

“What the fuck are you doing here, Hargrove?” You tried to sound mad, but you were overjoyed to see him. The first genuine smile of the day plastering itself on your face. 

“Now don’t get me wrong I like that you finally listened to me and locked your doors, but are you going to let me in or what?” He couldn’t resist playing with you. And seeing that smile on your face nearly knocked him off his feet, you looked so different from the version of yourself he secretly glanced at moments ago. The thought of the reason why makes his ego a little bigger. 

“Mom’s home and good ol’ dad could pop up any second.” Your smile falters at the thought of your dad storming through the front door in a rage. The sight of Billy would only amplify that rage into something you haven’t ever seen before and it would automatically change his focus from your mother to you. “Probably better if you keep your distance here, Bill.” 

You and Billy never really talked about your parents. You talked about him and you knew about Neil. Billy had it worse in that department so you steered clear of the subject and hoped you’d never have to explain the amount of fuckery that was your parents strained relationship that they refused to give up on. Billy tried, but you always shut down. He knew eventually he would get it out of you, but he didn’t think it would be tonight. 

“You ditched me today, you owe me an explanation. C’mon, Princess.” He practically pleaded as you rolled your eyes at the pet name he refused to drop. 

“You can’t stay, but I’ll be down in a minute. Back door.” You caved as you grabbed some clothes that didn’t reek of hard liquor and cigarettes, flipped the light off, and headed down stairs. He smirked going to the glass doors watching you turn on the kitchen lights and unlocking the door for him. “You know there’s a key under the mat, I don’t see why you don’t just let yourself in.” You stated and he chuckled awkwardly refusing to admit that he quite literally just did. 

“You know how much trouble I could get for breaking and entering?” 

“None, because I probably wouldn’t press charges.” You laughed before going into the downstairs bathroom to change. 

“Probably?” He questioned as he dug in the fridge. The sight of a six pack and a variety quick fix diet shakes greeting him. He figured based on hints you dropped they were your moms, but the six pack didn’t seem in character for her. You came back into the kitchen in clean clothes as you slid between him in the fridge digging out the sandwich you were going to take to school. Your warmth dispersed from his chest as soon as it appeared. 

“Here, it’s the only thing you’re getting. I don’t feel like cooking and she took over the fridge. Susan like these things? They don’t work, but she’s just going to leave them behind.” 

“Uh, I don’t know?” He admitted as he took the sandwich from you and shut the fridge door. “I’ll take them off your hands though.” As he took a bite of the sandwich you lifted yourself up to sit on the counter. Shivering slightly as you settle against the cool counter. 

“Sorry I didn’t call. Lost track of time.” Not admitting the fact you were just sitting and chain smoking in a bar while watching your mom get shit faced. Which reminded you to maintain eye contact with the door. He could burst through it at any moment and you needed Billy out before that door knob even turned.

“Why weren’t you at school?” He leaned against the fridge deciding to just get into the nitty-gritty of it. 

“Mom came home.” 

“Thought she wasn’t supposed to be in town till Christmas?”

“I’ve got bad luck.” Another short answer as Billy looked at you with a concerned gaze. 

“Why is she here?” This caused you to look at him and sigh. 

“Because my father’s an asshole and the only way they can work it out is if she runs away from her fancy yacht and beach club and he takes a break from doing whatever it is he does.” You sighed trying to relax, but the fear of your father’s booming voice kept any relief at an arm's length. “It doesn’t matter. It’ll be over soon anyway and they’ll be gone in a couple days. Hand in loving hand and on vacation in sunny Florida.” Your eyes focusing back on the front door while completing your nonchalant spill.

“Mhm.” Billy groaned, able to read your situation like a book. Two adults who used their child as a pawn in screaming matches and then abandoned her in a big house all by herself. He finished the sandwich and got closer to you, nearly pinning you to the counter breaking your focus on the door. “He hit you?” He could barely ask, ready to get you out of the house and wherever he needed to so he could keep you safe. “You’ve been staring down that door since I walked in.” 

“W-What? No, no, he doesn’t hit me, Billy.” You said gripping the counter and pulling away from him. Your dad has never laid a hand on you or your mom. “He just. . . He yells and he’s said some nasty things, he’s broken a few things, but he’s never hit me Billy.” You admitted, “They just get nasty, that’s all. It really isn’t that serious.” You were lying through your teeth and he knew it. Your dad never hit you, but he sure as hell scared you to death. You were frightened of your own father’s rage and that was enough to convict him. 

“What does he say? What do they do?” 

“It really isn’t anything to be concerned about, Billy. Honest.” 

“Bullshit, (Y/N). You are terrified. You even told me to go away.” He was staring into your eyes hoping for an answer. Hoping you’d decide to be vulnerable and let him in some more. “You can tell me when something is wrong. I’m. . .” He tripped over his words, something he never did. Starting to question what you meant to him and more importantly what he meant to you. But this wasn’t the time for that. “I’m your friend, (Y/N). You can trust me.” 

“Of course I do. You just. . .” You didn’t really know what to say. You didn’t want to go on a tangent about how he had it worse and this seemed so insufficient compared to his family life. Compared to the hell Neil put him through. Billy had to deal with Neil everyday, you only had your parents days at a time. “It’s complicated, Billy.” 

“I have time. You look like you’re ready to bolt any minute. If that would make you more comfortable I can get you out of here right now. Just-.” Billy was cut off by a loud thud. You jumped your hands immedately finding Billy’s shoulders as you ducked trying to hide. You realized the noise was nothing, it was just the furnace in the back. This wasn’t right, you were supposed to push him. You were supposed to get him out of the way and hide him. He wasn’t supposed to hide you. 

Your panic fizzled out as his anger grew. Your fingers gripping his shirt stopped him from doing anything though. Meeting your breaking point, the combination of exhaustion and anxiety causes you to cry in front of Billy for the first time ever. The sight of you starting to sob breaking Billy as he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you into his chest. He didn’t know that the sight of your tears would completely ruin him so easily. 

“They are just such assholes. All they do is scream and it’s so loud and they lie so much. I wish they would just leave, what’s the point of staying around just to fight? What’s the point in getting my hopes up and letting me down? They use me in their argument and then ditch me here alone and scared. The moment they start sending me right back to the beginning. Right back to that kid  in elementary school that’s scared of her daddy’s voice, her mom’s condescending tone, all the while just wanting a family. Just wanting to be good enough to make them a family. Just wants them to love her the way parents should. But they don’t and they never will and they will always leave me here waiting. Wanting.” You sniffed wrapping your arms around him, “And it’s so stupid. It’s so stupid, and I feel so stupid.” Burying your face into his chest he held you tighter. A hand finding its way to your head and his fingers tangling into your hair. Your hair was so soft and it smelt of cigarettes and clean lavender as he breathed you in. 

“It’s not stupid. You aren’t stupid.” He rubbed your back comforting you as you tried to dry up your tears. You felt so defeated as you remained against him, realizing that you were in his arms. You pulled away slightly and looked at him, a heat rushing to your cheeks. He looked down at you and into your eyes for only a second before resting his head atop of yours moving your head to look at the tear stains on his shirt. 

“S-Sorry about your shirt.” You choked out before resting against him again. You felt safe wrapped up in his warmth. “I thought we didn’t ‘do’ hugs?” You asked, trying to break up the seriousness of everything. Trying to distract him and steer him away from thinking too much into everything you just said. 

“Stop.” Was all he said still rubbing your back and scratching lightly at your scalp. You were puzzled as you took a deep breath. “As soon as we graduate, as soon as I have the bare minimum of the funds, we are out of here.” And there it was, the shift. If you blinked you would’ve missed it. You weren’t just friends, you’ve never been just friends. It’s always been something more, something deeper.

“We?” He regretfully pried himself away from you. Knowing that if he didn’t he might do something he ends up regretting. 

“C’mon, I can’t not take you back to California with me. My favorite girl.” He joked as you pushed him away from you and then lightly smacked him as you laughed with him. 

“So you're going to kidnap me?” You asked, crossing your arms and leaning back slightly. Subtly trying to keep some distance, you couldn’t fuck up this friendship. The fact becoming more present than ever: he’s all you had. 

“More or less.” He said as he watched you light up with laughter. Starting to come to terms with the fact he was falling deeply for you. 

 the light, 

 You held onto Billy’s hand tightly as you ran down the stairs with him. You had to get out of here. Where was Max? Steve? Robin? They were supposed to meet you on the second floor. You were all supposed to regroup and get the hell out of dodge. 

Billy’s grip on you tightened as he stopped and pulled you back from the beam that fell only inches away from you. “Pay attention.” He grunted out trying not to yell at you for your recklessness. He’s only been with you for ten minutes and you’ve already almost got yourself killed in front of him. 

“Shit.” You gritted out before looking at him. He didn’t look anything like he did when you last saw him in person. He had deep dark bags under his eyes, his hair was longer, and he grew a pretty impressive bread. He was dingy and dirty and a little greasy. He didn’t reek of body odor, but he didn’t smell like the cologne he had made his signature scent. His build wasn’t nearly as muscular, but he wasn’t skin and bone either. They kept Billy alive and said to hell with the rest. “Do you know another way out?” 

“They didn’t exactly let me roam the campus.” It came out harsh, but he couldn’t help it. You weren’t supposed to be here. He made a deal with Hopper, he made him promise that once Hopper was out he would keep you away. He could’ve died here in the rubble and he would’ve been content with the fact that he knew you were safe and on your way back to Hawkins. Out of Russia and far, far, away from him. 

“Then we go through.” You said taking that first step, but it was a waste of effort as he held you back. You were different yourself, your hand felt different. You were a shell of a person that he left behind, you were weaker and somehow smaller. The exhaustion you felt more than present on the outside, messed up hair, sporting dirty and blood stained clothes, a bloody nose, and a greasy complexion. “What?” You asked him, your patience wearing thin.

“No. The moment we start moving those beams are going to block that exit.” His free hand gesturing to the faltering supports, “You won’t make it in time.” His hand lightly squeezes yours. You knew he was right as you took a deep breath trying to plan out your next move; trying to remember the layout of the building. Trying to map out an exit based on what you’ve seen in the upside down and what you saw before breaking in. 

“Up.” You opened your eyes looking at him desperately, “We’ve gotta go up.” You said before heading back up the stairs. You made it about halfway up the first flight of stairs before he stopped you for a third time. 

“Are you trying to get yourself killed?” He yelled at you, “We can’t go up! We’ll fall through the floor!”

“Do you have a better plan? It’s the only option we have!” You tugged on his arm trying to get him to move, “The fire escape is our only option! It’s the only way out, now let’s go!” You trudged up the stairs trying your best not to breathe in the soot from the raging fire that was making its way from towards the front of the building. He groaned, not liking the risk but following you anyway. While climbing the stairs he tried to figure out a way to get in front of you to make sure you made it out.

 Reaching the last step you ran as fast as your legs could carry you to the dull red ‘FIRE EXIT’ sign. The sliver of hope you felt turning into this massive warm light you could feel in your chest. A wide smile formed on your face as you focused in on the red light, “Almost.” 

It was yanked away though as Billy took your place and a demo dog tackled him to the ground. His hand prying away from yours as he shot backwards trying to fight the thing off, wincing in pain as the supernatural wanna be canine clamped down on the side of Billy’s hand. “Get out, now!” He roared, you should’ve been paying attention. He told you to pay attention. You immediately did the exact opposite and tried to tackle the dog like being to get it off of Billy. It worked slightly leaving Billy with a few deep cuts from it’s claws. 

As you pulled him off the ground as quickly as you could the thing tried to charge for you again. You opened your mouth to scream at it, but before you could utter a word you felt a sharp pain in your ribs. Opening your eyes to the sight of Cugo being picked up and thrown against the wall. The pain was gone nearly as fast as it appeared as you looked over to the rest of your group. El wiping her nose before they quickly ran to the two of you. The end was finally in sight. 

 the flame

 You struggled to feel warm underneath a thin fleece blanket and even thinner old sheets. The small bedroom you had just awoke- and been trying to fall back asleep in- was freezing signaling to you the small old heater had finally broken. Your best chance of warmth in this tiny cabin was to put your thick winter coat back on. You grunted moving to lay on your back and stared blankly at the ceiling. Even in the dark you could tell that it was lightly spotted with black mold and water damage.               

Even if it was a restless sleep it was nice to finally sleep. Things have only gotten worse since you ‘saw’ Billy at the funeral home. You did what he said and El believed you one hundred percent, the others not so much. You had to plead your case night and day for about three months after. Plagued by nightmares, haunted by his presence, and some uncanny uncontrollable supernatural ability that connected you to the upside down. A draining ability that benefited the team, but El the most. You operated like a battery, so the more time you spent in the upside down the more you charged and the more you charged the more juice El had. El could use her powers as long as you - the battery pack- were within range. 

You closed your eyes and took a deep breath finally getting the courage you needed to force yourself out of this poor excuse for a bed. Rising slowly your limbs ached with the kind of pain you had only remembered feeling when you were starting to grow into the body you have acquired with age. The floor was practically ice as it creaked under each step and as you reached for the door knob you pressed your ear to the cold wood door. You could hear Joyce and Murray try to bicker as soft as they possibly could about something you couldn’t quite pick up on. Then you heard Max cut herself in louder and from the sound of it she was pissed. You let out a deep sigh preparing yourself to diffuse the situation between the adults and your makeshift pop off at the mouth sister, but a singular voice stopped you. It was low and rough with a hint of a spark; one that you knew you have heard before but couldn’t place a face to. So you spent a few seconds matching faces and names up in your brain while he tried to diffuse the situation in a dad type of way. That’s when you got it and slammed the door open. The floor now warms underneath your feet from how fast your body heated with anger. 

Jim Hopper. 

Every eye in the room was on you now as your eyes focused strictly on Hopper. “We weren’t supposed to take leave until tomorrow.” You started in a bland monotone voice, “We were supposed to find him tomorrow. We were supposed to find Billy tomorrow.” Anger seeped from each word as you headed towards Hopper who finally stood from where he was sitting at the makeshift dining room table. It’s not that you weren't- for lack of a better word- interested in seeing Hopper. 

“It’s my fault. It was me.” Steve very bravely tried to speak up and take the heat. “I lead the group. You were finally sleeping, you’ve been out for two days-.” 

“Two days?” Your attention breaks from Hopper to Steve, “You let me sleep for two days?” You screamed at him in disbelief. 

“Hey, you haven’t slept in five days, so yeah, I was going to let you sleep!” He started, getting defensive. 

“You should’ve woken me up if you were leaving! You know I needed to go! You know I have to find him!” You were on the brink of tears. Your hands started to form into fists, your nails digging into your palms. You were so frustrated. You knew they wouldn’t go back. You knew you slept through your one chance. You had failed.

“Kid.” Hopper’s voice cut through the tension like a hot knife. You turned to him assuming he was calling for you. Did he even know your name? Did he even begin to understand how much you gave up to get here?

You stormed over to the table and stood directly across from him, slamming your palms onto the hard red oak. Your eyes watering hot and angry tears as you glared at him, the spark of anger you felt finally turning to flame, “Do not call me kid, you son of a bitch.” You took a deep breath to calm yourself down just a bit. You could still get information out of him, you had to control the fire in your stomach. “Now, you tell me everything you know about that god damn faculty so I can get in and out quicker than planned.”

“Kid, no one in this house is going back there.” 

“Don’t call me kid.” You repeated, “And if you won’t help me, fine. I’ll do it myself.” You roughly pushed yourself away from the table, but you didn’t get far as Hopper grabbed your wrist firmly stopping you in your tracks. “Don’t touch me!” You screamed yanking yourself away from him, “Don’t you fucking touch me!” 

“He’s not there.” He lied, trying to keep the promise he made to Billy as he left him there. “I’m sorry, kid. I really am.” He said, feeling extreme guilt as he noticed how your body shook with anger. “You can’t save someone who’s not there.”

“Don’t call me kid!” You screamed as you grabbed the nearest item and chucked it at him. Everything was crashing around you and you were losing your mind. The phrase ‘save him’ repeats itself over and over in your mind. “You’re a fucking liar! He’s there! I saw him!” You said throwing pillows, pictures that you yanked off of the walls, whatever you could get your hands on. “What the fuck would you know? You never even tried to save him. None of you ever did!” You hysterically sobbed trying not to choke on the hot tears that poured out of your eyes, “No one ever listens or tries to help! He could have begged for help and you still wouldn’t have shown up! Do you have any idea how many reports I made against his fucking father? Do you have any idea of the abuse that was going down in that house!” 

You laughed, “And it was all for nothing! Do you have any idea the amount of shit I have crawled through to get here? The amount of danger I have put- not only myself- in to get us here to get to him? To get to you?” Your body moving before you could think as you grabbed a plate, “And all I get is the failed chief police of fucking Hawkins, Indiana!” You chucked the plate at him, but Hopper was quick as he dodged it and it shattered against the wall behind him. “You damn dirty bastard!” You screamed at him chucking another plate, “You never fucking did anything! You! Never! Did! Anything!” Before you could throw the final plate your whole body felt weightless as you were being lifted from the ground. 

El’s arm was extended and her hand was nearly formed into a fist. She turned you to face her as she held you in the air. You could barely make her out through the thick tears that clouded your eyes. “Do not harm him!” El screamed at you as her nose gushed blood. 

“Put me down you little shit!” You yelled at her before her grip tightened and you felt a thousand knives stab you everywhere, the pain causing you to scream back at her.

 The room was frozen as everyone stood there not knowing what to do or what to say. But, no one in that room was as affected by the scene as Max was. Max stood there paralyzed and unable to breath. Frame by frame she was watching the same thing that happened to Billy happen to you. You were falling apart and turning into someone she had never known. Just like Billy did.

“I can’t do this.” Max mumbled before turning and stumbling away from the scene. Barely able to feel her feet as she shut herself into the room you were just in. She began to hyperventilate as she fell to the floor, her anxiety crushing her into a box. It was happening again. She failed to help again. She was losing the closest thing she had to another sibling. 

“Put her down!” Hopper yelled at El. “Put her down!” He repeated fumbling his way to El. The sudden movement breaks her concentration on you. Steve moved quickly to try his best to catch you as you awkwardly fell from your suspended state. He was trying to talk to you, but you couldn’t make out the words as a loud ringing clogged your ears. Your palm running up your face trying to steady you as you winced in pain, each breath a stinging pain. The sound of someone banging on a door getting rid of the ringing as you looked for the source. 

“Max!” It was Lucas as he begged for Max to let him in. To let him help her. You wiped your nose as you looked around the room for her, you couldn’t lose her too. 

“Max?” You weakly called for her trying to move forward; your will refusing to break, but your body weak. “Max.” You called again as you collapsed against Steve’s chest and the lights went out.

 The highs hit the heights of my baby

  Your grip on the railing tightened as you tried to keep yourself up. Your bones aching as the sharp pain shoots through them again in another wave. Every ounce of energy you had drained from your body as you pushed yourself away from the railing and back into the burning building. Maybe if you got closer this wouldn’t hurt as bad. Stumbling to Hopper’s side you spit up the warm blood that was starting to clog in your throat. You didn’t know how much more you could take of this before your body gave out. 

Groaning you finally got Hopper’s attention off of El’s handy work and on to you, “Just a little more, kid. She’s almost done.” He reassured you. His arm wrapped around your torso to hold you up. She was ripping the mind flayer apart one by one and throwing the pieces into the all consuming flames. The fire sparking like a campfire when you threw in another log; the carnage of it all feeding the heat that chapped your face. 

It was brutal as you heard her curse the thing picking up what you assumed to be the torso of the figure and finishing the job. A slight pop being felt by you as El’s grip on you was released and Hopper being the only thing keeping you from falling. Gasping for air you hunched over coughing. El turning quickly and running over to the both of you, “Are you alright?” She asked, planting herself beside you and pulling your arm around her shoulders to get you to stand. You just nodded with a groan as you tried to move towards the exit. 

“We’ve gotta move fast.” Hopper instructed, balancing out your weight with El to aid you as much as they could. It wasn’t the time to yell at you for not staying where you were supposed to. Making a quick pace for the exit you began to fade in and out; not grasping reality as your mind clouded over. A series of fast events jumbling together as you ended up alone and gripping the same handrail you just pried yourself away from. 

“(Y/N)!” Billy screamed as he ran towards the rusted out fire escape. Trying to get your attention, trying to get you to move. 

“Billy?” You called out weakly as your eyes tried to adjust to his frame as he ran to you. You went to scream for him again, but nothing came out as an intense shockwave blasted down the remainder of the lab. The fire escape detaching from the side of the building while the blast propelled you over the handrail. Time slowed as your limbs became weightless and your mind drew a blank, you were entering free fall.

A tough yank on your clothes pulling you back from the cliff of the quarry, “Jesus fucking Christ! What the hell are you doing?” You heard Steve yell as he pulled you tightly into his chest while backing away from the edge. You blinked as you breathed him in, having no idea what was going on. He pulled you away from him as he held your face forcing you to look at him, “(Y/N), what’s going on? Are you okay?” You sniffed as you began to realize you’ve been crying. Your body shakes as you look him in the eyes and Max runs over. 

“Jesus fuck, you could’ve killed yourself.” Max said, pulling you away from Steve and wrapping her arms around you. You slowly returned the embrace as you looked at Steve. 

“I don’t know. I don’t know.” You admitted as your fingers dug into Max’s shirt. Trying to put together the pieces of a nightmare that was a memory that you thought you had forgotten.

 And its hold had the fight of my baby

And the lights were as bright as my baby

“What?” You questioned slamming your hand on Hopper’s desk as you stood up. “No way in hell am I leaving. I have a job, bills, and responsibilities. I can’t just take off.” You trained your eyes on Hopper that way you wouldn’t look at Billy who remained seated in the seat next to you. 

“Those things can be taken care of, (Y/N). We’ve already called in a couple of favors and you’re set for the next couple months. It’s been taken care of.” 

“Well get your favors back, because I am not going to just take off to California because of one little incident-.”

“Little?” Billy questioned, “Little, you almost jumped off a cliff! You could’ve killed yourself!” He scolded you bringing himself to his feet. 

“But I didn’t! I woke up!” 

“Only because Harrington was there to wake you up! What if he wasn’t? What then, (Y/N)?” His eyes set your frame aflame as he stared at you, but you refused to look at him. He just sighed and looked at Hopper, “Tell her there is no compromising on this. She is going back to California with me and I don’t care if I have to take her kicking and screaming.” He pleaded. If he would’ve known that the anniversary effect was going to nearly kill you before the actual date, he would've come back months ago. His top secret spy of a sister was holding out on him on the gritty details of your fractured state. 

You laughed as you pinched the bridge of your nose in disbelief. Was everyone just losing their fucking mind? You finally turned to him, you finally looked at him, “I am not going anywhere and I am especially not going anywhere with you.” He clenched his jaw as your words sunk into his bloodstream. He went to speak but Murray cut him off. 

“Oh.” Murray muttered and a light bulb went off in everybody's head. Your icy glare zeroed in on Murray while Billy’s gaze intimidated Murray into a corner. 

“Look, kid, you’re going and that’s final.” You pulled your eyes away from Murray and back to Hopper as he delivered you your sentence. Standing, he began his speech, “It’s been nearly a year and it doesn’t take a PHD to see your spiraling. The best thing for you is to get into a brand new environment, to get away, everything and everybody is going to be waiting for you when you come back, but you have got to get the hell out of dodge before you become a wasteland.” He looked deeply into your eyes, “We’ve lost enough, we don’t want to lose you too.” You broke eye contact and looked over to Joyce. She just nodded and you swallowed. 

You wanted to fight them on this. You wanted to try and weasel your way out of this like you’ve weaseled your way out of so many other things before. But you gave with a sigh, “Fine.” Billy was in a subtle state of shock as you agreed a lot easier than what he thought you would. “But, I’m there for a month.” Was all you said before grabbing your coat and slamming Hopper’s office door on the way out.

“That went better than expected.” Murray broke the silence, “I’ve never seen her give up on a fight that easy. She really is soft on you, lover boy.” Billy’s glare found Murray wanting to beat him into a pulp, but instead he headed towards the door to go after you. 

“Billy.” Hopper said, stopping him dead in his tracks. Billy’s body tensed as he looked at him. This bastard, this son of a bitch who couldn’t keep a deal to save his life. “We’ve gotta talk.” Billy sighed and headed back to his seat, plopping down into it and relaxing against its uncomfortable design.  

“What is it, chief? Wanting to give me a final warning?” He toyed with Hopper. The pure rage he felt towards him for letting you get this bad. “Or are you going to be useful and give me a get out of jail free card?” 

“I see California hasn’t changed you.” Hopper‘s monotone voice matching the fake smile he wore, trying to keep his patience with Billy, “I’m asking you to not screw her over again. She’s with you now, which means you can’t just pack up and leave her in the middle of the night again.” 

Billy immediately sat up straight, “That was different.” He defended himself,“That was completely different.” Joyce just laughed, men, she thought. “I was going to come back. I was coming back.” 

“You were? What took so long then?” 

“I had some things I needed to take care of, it took a little longer than expected.” 

“It’s been four months, Billy. You’ve been gone for four months. You told me one, two at the max.” His words are true, but just as hurtful. Billy knew how long he’s been away, how long he’s been hiding in a shitty apartment in California. He was almost finished with what he was doing and he was going to be back before the anniversary. He was going to lay it all out on line and tell you the truth, he was going to apologize to you with words that came out of his mouth and weren’t written in some stupid letter, he was going to admit to you how you flooded his senses constantly. 

“Yeah, and it’s been hard.” Billy stood up straight not breaking eye contact with Hopper, “I’m trying to do what’s best. I’m trying not to fail her again.” Billy headed back towards the door finished with whatever this conversation was turning into. 

“She risked everything for you, don’t you think she deserves more?” Hopper’s words crawled their way underneath his skin. “She died for you.” 

“Hey, Jim, that’s enough.” Joyce scolded, moving to place a motherly hand on Billy’s shoulder. The warmth of her touch didn’t last long before Billy shrugged her off. 

“I’m done talking.” Billy yanked open the door and slammed it shut just as hard as you had. 

 But your love was unmoved

Tell me if somehow, some of it remains

 You sat in the passenger seat of the camaro staring out at the flat land Indiana had to offer. It’s been nothing but silence between you and Billy since leaving Hawkins. You were forced to go with him, that didn’t mean you had to speak to him. He left you in his bed after you begged him to fuck you. After you pleaded out for him, he left you to find a half assed note and a bare room. You had every right to be mad and he knew that, but that didn’t mean your coldness toward him didn’t hurt. 

“Are you going to talk to me?” He asked and was greeted with silence. He groaned, “You know you’re with me for the next few months. You can’t just not say anything.” 

“I’m with you for a month.” You reinstated, snapping at him as you faced him. It was exactly what he wanted and he couldn’t help the smile that formed on his face as he kept his eyes on the road. 

“So it speaks. Didn’t take much.” He shrugged as you went back to the window. You cursed him as you sighed deeply, relaxing into the seat. You flipped on the radio and Foreigner’s ‘I Want To Know What Love Is’ played in the background, you grunted before changing the station. As the next station played the first few notes of Kenny Rogers ‘We’ve Got Tonight’, before you switched it to the next station. Fate played a cruel joke on you as Richard Marx sang ‘Wherever you go, whatever you do, I will be right here waiting for you.’, you just turned off the radio with a huff pulling your knees to your chest. Billy couldn’t help but laugh at the irony of the situation, “Tough break.”

“It’s not funny.” Your tone full of sorrow as you rested your head against the wind shield. Billy glanced over to you a sense of guilt feeling in his chest. 

“I’m sorry.” He said, focusing back on the road. You just laughed and shook your head. “I”m serious, (Y/N). I am really sorry. I shouldn’t have done what I did, I shouldn’t have taken advantage of you like that.”

“Advantage of me?” You asked in disbelief facing him again, “You think you took advantage of me?”

“Yeah.” He said kind of lost. He started it, he was the one at fault for what happened. “I shouldn’t have kissed you and I shouldn’t have let it go that far.” 

“I wanted it, Billy.” You cut him off your checks glowing red admitting it out loud. Your body tensed up as you looked away from him. “Look, I don’t know what narrative you made up in your head, but I wanted it just as much as you did. So, if we could just admit it happened and you were a complete and utter jackass for leaving without a word after, we can move on. Got it?” An awkward silence filled the car as you refused to press the matter further. You needed to get over it and you hoped he would just let it go. Instead of a feeling of relief your anxiety spiked as the car began to slow and Billy pulled over.

“It was a pathetic move, leaving.” He put the car in park and faced you, “I’m sorry.” You continued to look out of the window with your arms crossed and brows furrowed. He sighed deeply, knowing that you weren’t going to budge and that he shouldn’t push it. “I’ve got something for you, though.” He said as he reached into the back seat and rummaged through his bag. You glanced at him in curiosity wondering what he could possibly have for you. As he settled back into his seat he pulled out a tattered and worn journal and he had your undivided attention. 

“A book?” You rotated your body to face him, “Is it some sort of unreleased King novel?” You asked, judging the condition the book was in. Billy just chuckled as he regretfully handed the journal to you. He wanted to save this for later, but the circumstances have changed.

“No, uh, I actually wrote it.” He admitted, embarrassed as his hand found the back of his neck. “It’s, uhm, it’s the truth. Everything I haven’t told you, every memory I have before I disappeared. Well every memory I have of you.” You looked at him with doe eyes and a sense of wonder. His cheeks flushed red as he broke eye contact, “Which funny enough is just about every day I spent with you. I know it’s weird and sudden and a key chain probably would have been a better gift than the burden of knowing how deep in the trenches I was with you-.”

“Shut up.” You stopped him from rambling, “I like it a lot better than a keychain.” You smiled as you brushed your hand down one of the pages. Your whole body is heating up as your stomach flips. He still had such a big hold on you, it wasn’t even funny. “Everything? Good and bad?” Billy swallowed and nodded as his hands found the steering wheel. You flipped through the pages noticing highlighted text and posted notes with just as messy handwriting, “It’s annotated too?” Billy gripped the steering wheel before his head made contact with it. The reality of how embarrassed he was. He knew the explanation was going to be hard, but he didn’t think he’d feel this way.

“It’s just the best way I can explain everything to you without losing my temper or saying too much too fast. I also don’t want to scare you off, I don’t want you to think you owe me anything, either.” His rising temperature was becoming too much as he started to fly off the handle. He wanted to yank the journal out of your hands and tell you to wait until he got it under control. Give him time to put his mask back on before he blows it again.

“So read it slow?” You asked, shutting the book with the biggest smile plastered to your face. Satisfaction sinking into your features as you watched Billy uncomfortably fight with himself. “You’re off the hook, Hargrove. Want me to drive?” You asked, going to touch him but pulled away. He chuckled, sitting back up in his seat and shaking his head.

“You- You better watch yourself.” He said before putting the car back in drive and getting back on the road.

 How long you would wait for me?

You sat on the couch, your nose stuck in the journal, you’ve only been in California for a week and Billy has made it impossible to get any reading done. He’s taken you to beach after beach and enough tourist spots to make you hate yourself for being a tourist. But he was at work at a local mechanic shop a few blocks away which gave you eight hours to yourself. Well less than that granted you slept most of the day and made your way through a local farmers market buying food so you both didn’t have to live out of take out boxes. 

‘I didn’t expect anything to tie me to Hawkins, let alone get me to like Hawkins, but you did. I grew up near LA, I never expected anything in the shitty Midwest to satisfy the rush that California gave me.’ You read, biting your lip before flipping the page. Maybe he should drop the whole car guy thing and become an author, because this shit was gold. ‘But, bickering with you was a rush. You spit back just as much venom as I dished out and it was refreshing. Someone who could keep up and had thick skin. I wanted so much from you- I like to think you couldn’t tell- and you never gave me an ounce of satisfaction.’ You laughed as you turned the page and read on. 

It was nearly five thirty when Billy walked through the door, greeted to the sight of you planted on the couch and the journal pressed against your chest. “I thought we agreed you’d read that slowly.” 

“I am.” You defended avoiding eye contact with him, “I stopped.” Your face grew hot with a million questions begging to be asked. 

“Then why are you gripping it like your life depends on it? Did you get to-?”

“No.” You flatly answered as he worked his way to the couch, lifting your legs, sat down, and pulled them over him like a lap bar. “No, I haven’t gotten to anything really juicy, yet. But- uhm- when is it going to happen?” It was your turn to be embarrassed and it was Billy’s turn to feel a sense of satisfaction. 

“Where are you?” He chuckled, prying the book from your hands and opening it to the page you had bookmarked with a folded corner. “ ‘At this point I knew you meant more to me than I let myself believe.’” He quoted himself just to see your face turn an even brighter red, “The night you told me the truth about your strained relationship with the bastards you call your parents.” He handed the book back to you, “It’s soon, I think in about ten more pages we get to confessions.” You swallowed dryly as you got up. 

“What do you want for dinner? I picked up some actual food today.” You said going into the kitchen. He followed after you, not done with you just yet. You rustled through the fridge while he leaned against the door frame. “I was thinking about breakfast for dinner? I got some fresh eggs so we could have omelets and some toast, or something like that.” 

“Mhm, sounds nice. Or would you rather have Chinese and we can get to that confession?” You shut the fridge door as you pulled out the eggs and started rummaging around for any cookware he might have. Maybe you should’ve bought some pots and pans instead of reading today. “I don’t want you to read it without me.” 

“I’ll wait.” You said as you found a small pan and pulled out the one bowl he had from another cabinet. 

“You’ll wait?” He asked, uncrossing his arms and standing up straight in the doorway. 

“I’ll wait.” You repeated, cracking an egg into the bowl. “I’ve waited this long, what's a few more days? I’ll get it out of you eventually.” He smiled softly as he watched you go back to the fridge to pull out some stuff to chop up and put in the eggs. Noting the red flush on your cheeks simmering down to a pink. 

“Whatever you say, Princess. I’m going to take a shower and I’ll be back to help you with the toast.” He said pushing himself off the door frame and walking to the bathroom. He lingered on the fact that you were willing to continue to wait.

 And how long I've been away

  The phone practically rang off the hook before it finally woke Billy up. His hand massaged his forehead as he brought the phone to his ear, “Hello?” His voice was deep and groggy as he tried to wake up. 

“B-Billy?” Max’s tone was riddled with anxiety and high pitched as she called out for her brother. That woke him up as he sat up straight and ran his hand through his hair standing up. 

“Max? Max, hey, hey, what’s going on? Are you okay?” He fumbled around for his watch and checked the time. It was nearly four in the morning; dropping it and putting on the pair of jeans he discarded earlier. 

“N-No. Things have just gotten worse and I don’t know what to do. We don’t know what to do.” She rambled out from the other end. “The nightmares are getting worse and I think she’s remembering the fight, but she can’t do anything about it. We can’t do anything about it. She almost sleep walked herself off of a cliff tonight-.” 

“What?” Billy asked, his blood running cold as he nearly dropped the phone. 

“She’s okay, (Y/N) is okay, she's just, I don’t know she’s grown more distant. The doctor said it was something about the trauma surrounding the date. That whole spiel about the damn anniversary effect. Even though I don’t get that-.” 

“Max, calm down, it’s okay.” Billy said as he sat down on his bed, he knew he should’ve left earlier. “She’s alright, you’re alright. Take a deep breath.” Max did as he instructed and started to calm down. “Better?” He asked, sighing before reaching for a t-shirt and trying to put it on while he kept the phone to his ear. 

“Better.” Max said, she glanced at you and Hopper talking in the living room before leaning against the wall. Billy took a deep breath knowing that Max had calmed herself down. He reached for his shoes and started putting them on. “Things have just gone downhill since you left.” Max admitted taking a deep breath. She didn’t know why Billy took off without a word and called her a week later with strict instructions to not tell you anything. You refused to talk about it and Billy wasn’t an open book about it either. She just decided it was best to put a blind faith in her brother after she confronted Hopper about it. Hopper being the only one that knew exactly where Billy was and when he was coming back.

“I know, I just had to get away.” He kept it short and to the point, “Listen, Max, I’m going to let you go. I’ll call you when I make a stop so stay there and stay by the phone, okay?” 

“Wait. What? Where are you going? Billy, this is not the time to take off again-.” Max started to beg her brother, a fear that she’d never see him again growing her chest. 

“Hey, what did we talk about? Breath, Max.” Billy grabbed a backpack and started throwing the things that he could reach into the bag. “I’m leaving town tonight and I should be in Hawkins in forty-eight hours, give or take.” 

“You’re coming back? Are you sure that’s a good idea? You need to talk to Hopper before you make any sudden moves.” Max tried talking some sense into her brother even though she knew he wasn’t budging. His mind was made up, he’s been gone for too long. 

“It’ll be a surprise, I’m sure he’ll be more than happy to see me.” Billy rolled his eyes before setting down the phone and making his way into the bathroom to gather his toothbrush and other toiletries. 

“Billy, she's just starting to come down and Steve is keeping an eye on her. I don't think it’s a good idea-.” 

“I’m leaving now and I’ll stop off at the station as soon as I get there.” He cut her off without even hearing the beginning of what she was saying. “Just stay by the phone and I’ll be there as soon as I can.” Max took a deep breath, starting to regret calling Billy at all. Billy picked up his pillow and grabbed the journal he’s been writing in since the moment he left Hawkins. Putting it into the bag and zipping it up he threw the bag over his shoulder while grabbing his keys from the nightstand. “Max tell me you understand.” 

“Okay.” She grunted out as she nervously wrapped her finger around the phone cord. “I get it.” 

“Good, keep an eye on (Y/N) and try to get some rest, shit bird. I’ll see you as soon as I get there.” 

“Bye, ass hat.” Max bid her heartfelt goodbye before she put the phone back on the hook. She was excited to see her brother again, but her stomach swirled at the thought of the can of worms she just opened. 

Meanwhile Billy was headed towards the door cursing under his breath. He shouldn’t have left for so long; placing all the blame on himself as he slammed his apartment door shut. 

The shape that I'm in now, your shape in the doorway

 Billy wasn’t in good shape as he leaned against the doorway. He watched the rise and fall of your chest as you slept in the spot where he once laid. He cursed himself before glaring at the letter on the nightstand beside you. Maybe he should stick it out. Maybe he should stay. 

But he knew better, he knew he couldn’t. He knew he’d be overwhelming and overbearing. And if he was going to pursue a romantic relationship with you- despite how adamant his brain was on the subject- he didn’t want to start that way. He craved you, but he knew diving in head first wasn’t the route to take. It was better this way, it was better if he got some distance, it was better if he lowered his expectations. That way if you rejected him, it wouldn’t hurt as bad. 

Billy moved slowly and cautiously to the bedside as he kneeled beside you, the palm of his hand cradling your cheek. His thumb ghosting over your cheek bone as a sad soft smile found his face. Regardless of the highs and lows, the fights, the restlessness of it all, you were still everything to him. He placed a chaste kiss on your forehead as he forced himself to get up. He had to move quickly and get to the police station before Hopper’s one and only night shift was over. 

                                                                   Make your good love known to me

 Billy laid in bed next to you as he watched you sleep. It took forever just to get you to stay still long enough to even try to fall asleep. He glanced at the alarm clock to see it finally switch from 5:59 to 6:00 AM, it officially has been a year. Typically around this time he’d be rolling off the couch and getting ready for work. He’d check on you first, take a shower, check on you again, get dressed, check on you again, grab whatever lunch you made him the night before and start breakfast, wake you up, spend the remainder of his free morning with you, then leave while you started whatever you planned to do the rest of the day. But, not today. Today he was home and he would be for the rest of the week. 

Billy was on edge as he counted the seconds between each breath you took. He knew today was going to be rough on everyone and he expected most of the day to be on the phone just talking. Check ups on everyone, even the ones who didn’t have the luxury of putting today off. But he decided to put forth an effort to relax and just enjoy the few moments of peace. 

Billy’s palm lightly rested against your cheek as his thumb gently caressed your cheekbone. A sad memory stuck to the forefront of his brain, “I’m sorry.” He mumbled softly. All he’s done is apologize and it still wasn’t enough for him. The guilt still ate him and even though he knew the feeling would never go away he wondered if it would ever subside. Would every feeling he felt towards you one day not be followed up by grief? Billy’s body started to stiffen as he tried to stifle sobs, and for the first time in a long time Billy started to cry. 

You opened your eyes slowly, starting to become conscious. A low hum leaving your lips as you started to focus on what was going on. It took only a second for you to realize he was crying before you moved quickly, adjusting yourself to where you wrapped your arms around Billy. You pulled him close in a gentle embrace. One hand cradling his head on your chest while the other ran up and down his back, “Hey, it’s okay, it’s okay.” You hushed him as you rested your head on top of his. 

“I’m so so sorry.” He managed to mumble out through your shirt. His arms snaked around you tightly, “I didn’t want you to get hurt. I was supposed to make things right. I-I was supposed-.”

“Hey, it was out of anyone’s control.” You sternly said into his hair. You hated the fact that Billy put all the blame on himself, you went after him because you wanted to, and there wasn’t a thing anyone  could have said or done to keep you from going after him. The aftermath was the aftermath, but you are okay now. A couple physical and mental scars, but you were here; and even if you weren’t you’d do it all over again if it meant he got a second chance. His grip tightening on you as his body racked with sobs and your heart breaking doing the only thing you could do, hold him and reassure him that everything was alright. 

“Please forgive me.” He begged, groveling beneath you. He didn’t deserve this. He didn’t deserve to be held so tightly by you after everything, and he convinced himself of it. 

“I forgave you a long time ago.” You said into his hair trying not to cry, “Billy, you mean everything to me.” You pressed your lips firmly to the top of his head and kissed. “Please stop torturing yourself. You’ve suffered enough. It’s okay.”

Billy buried himself in your chest as he continued to cry against you. He tried to calm himself down but every ounce of effort was a waste. He clung to you as if his life depended on it. His nose was running and his eyes were burning until he finally ran out of tears. You played with his hair while his grip started to loosen but he refused to let go. His body was still shaking as he tried to catch his breath. Today was going to be a long day. 

 Or just tell me ‘bout your day 

 You hung up the phone before relaxing back into the couch. You sighed deeply before rubbing your temples, you always loved talking to Joyce but sometimes she made it impossible to share anything with her. She pretty much insisted that the conversation stayed on you while all you wanted to know was if she was okay. How she was doing. It felt like the world revolved around what happened to you sometimes and it drove you insane. You don’t remember how it felt and you can’t place yourself there, but you know it happened. You see it in your dreams and you’ve seen the scars it left you with; but you don’t remember that night. You don’t remember much of the life you led before or how all these people you knew became a part of who you were. 

Robin, you knew as your former best friend who wanted nothing to do with you after you told her to fuck off after she told you that you were changing into someone she didn’t want to be friends with. Steve, you went to school with since preschool and had little to no contact with, especially after that rumor that he had a crush on you in middle school started flying around. Nancy, you only spoke to in passing and maybe exchanged notes with her once or twice. Johnathan, you only knew him because of what went down with Will. And finally Billy, you knew him better than the rest. You bickered with him constantly while he tried everything to get into your pants. You talked to him nearly everyday and satisfaction came from each conversation. 

That’s all you had. You just had those memories of them when you woke up in that hospital bed. Nothing towards Max or El, they were strangers and you got to bond yourself to them all over again. It came rather quickly all things considered and they filled in the gaps whenever you had a question or missed an inside joke. The only one that didn’t was Billy, he picked up right from where he placed himself and never uttered a word about the rest. You sort of picked up on it though from context clues or the way Max would look at you whenever she noticed Billy was looking at you. You always wondered but never pressed on the matter, you always figured that he’d come to you when he figured out what to say. You didn’t know that he intended on taking it to his grave, but he was weak. You made him weak. 

You pulled your legs up underneath you as you leaned on the arm rest. You were tired, so tired. You closed your eyes and just tried to focus on anything but the date. 

“Hey.” Billy called from the kitchen doorway causing you to jump slightly. You might not remember, but your body does. “You need to eat something. I made sandwiches.” Billy was short and to the point, he hasn’t said much to you since his episode this morning. You were surprised that either of you got out of bed and it shocked you even more that he was the first to move. You didn’t think you could stomach anything, but you just nodded and forced yourself to get off of the couch. Billy put both plates down as you sat at the table. Billy went back in the kitchen to grab a couple drinks while you stared at the slices of bread with meat and cheese in the middle. You wanted to barf as the slight smell of deli meat caused your stomach to churn. You closed your eyes and tried not to gag, “You okay?” He asked, sitting across from you already knowing the answer. 

“Fine.” You said opening your eyes. Your eyes locked with his for a split second before he looked at his sandwich and picked it up. He took a bite, not satisfied with the taste, but still chewed and swallowed. “I know you don’t like my cooking-.” 

“I love your cooking.” You smirked, “You’re a great chef.” You teased him. He broke a smile with a slight chuckle. You sat on your hands as you leaned forward, savoring the sound. It was so satisfying to see him smile again. It felt like it’s been years since you last saw it when it’s really only been a couple of hours. 

“Really?” 

“Really.” 

“Flattery isn’t going to get you anywhere, my dear. You refused breakfast, you’ve got to at least try.” You groaned feeling like a kid who wasn’t excused from the table until they ate something. You slowly pulled your hands from under your thighs and reached for the sandwich, but your saving grace was the phone that started to ring. You let out a deep sigh of relief as you and Billy stood at the same time, “I’ll get it, eat.” He ordered before making his way to the phone. 

“Hello?” He asked as you sat back down. You tried to focus on the conversation going on behind you but was easily distracted by the sandwich in front of you. Your stomach twisted into knots as you picked it up and tried to bring it to your lips. 

You didn’t know why you felt so sick all of a sudden or why you felt so exhausted. Your body ached and you felt so cold regardless of the fact that it was pretty warm in the apartment. Your mouth wrapped around the sandwich and before you could sink your teeth into the soft fluffy white bread you knew you were going to throw up. You dropped the sandwich and ran to the bathroom. As your head went into the toilet you heard Billy chase after you. 

Your throat stinging as you throw up stomach acid and mucus. You heaved as your body tightened and you felt the stress accumulate in your head. You felt Billy’s warmth before you saw him out of the corner of your eye. He pulled back your hair as his other hand found your back. There wasn’t anything in your system to throw up, but you still tried. Subconsciously trying to purge yourself of it. 

You spit into the toilet before sitting up, your head pounding as your hand found your face, “The phone.” You mumbled before rubbing your temples. 

“Doesn’t matter.” Billy said, one of his arms going behind your knees and the other wrapping around you. He picked you up and slid out of the tiny bathroom. You felt so pathetic as you wrapped your arms around his neck. 

“Put me down.” You scolded, leaning your head against his chest, not wanting him to put you down. Billy sat on the bed keeping you in his arms. He wrapped his arms around your torso and rested his head in the crook of your neck. You didn’t know what triggered it but tears started to softly roll down your face. It all hurt so much and you didn’t remember any of it. 

“It’s okay.” He assured you as your grip on him tightened. He took a deep breath as he held you a little tighter. 

“I-I can’t remember it, but I can see it. I can feel it. It hurts, Billy. It hurts so bad and I’m so tired.” 

“I know, I know.” He hushed as you continued to cry. You wanted to apologize, you wanted to explain to him that you didn’t understand how you felt this way. How something could completely take you over. “It’s alright. It’s going to be alright.” He took in a deep breath trying to subdue his anger and be here for you. He kissed your cheek before bringing you to his chest where he let you cry it out. 

You spent the rest of the day in bed together just talking. Just explaining the puzzle pieces in your head and how broken you could feel. In turn he shared all those nitty gritty details of being locked away and turned into an experiment. He told you the good, the bad, and the ugly. Neither of you held out on the truth and you just let it go, and it felt good. 

Just as it was, baby

Before the otherness came

I messed up. I messed up a lot. But you always forgave me, you always let me come back. You saw me for the person I am, for the person I wanted to be. 

I’ll admit that I didn’t deserve it. I didn’t deserve you. But you loved me anyway. So how could I refuse you? How can I look at you and tell you that enough is enough. 

I can’t. So, when I came crawling back and you slammed that door in my face I might as well have been six feet under then. 

 And I knew its name

The drug, the dark, the light, the shame

  Billy hummed slightly as he browsed the classifieds not looking for much in particular. Your nose was buried back in that journal. Normally he would be right behind you reading over your shoulder, but he figured it was best that he let you finish it on your own. And with a heavy sigh you did as you set it down on the coffee table in front of you. 

“You’re stupid.” You said, crawling your way to his end of the couch. 

“You’ve said that at least ten times today.” A smirk plastering itself on his face as he looked at you. 

“But this time I mean it. I would’ve found out one way or another. You’re not as brooding and mysterious as you think.” 

“You seemed pretty clueless to me.” He teased before looking back at the newspaper. You were offended, but instead of huffing about it you just rolled your eyes.

“You’re just mad that I didn’t make the first move this time.” Billy looked up from the paper, “Who knew Billy Hargrove, a man that had women throwing themselves at his feet, couldn’t make the first move when it came to little old me.” A smirk plastering itself on your face as he grew embarrassed. 

“Our situation was completely different.” He was quick to defend himself. It was different, he fell for you before he went after you. In fact he tried not to go after you because he was falling for you. You fucked that up, not him. 

“Was it really, though? Because I’ve read that thing front to back and it sounds like I was just as wrapped around your finger.” You got in his space and with half lidded eyes and in a sultry tone you teased him, “Have you fallen for me, Billy?” Billy’s eyes widened as he nearly choked on his own spit. The back of his neck heated up as he tried to adjust himself, “I’m joking, Jesus. You should see your face.” You backed away from him embarrassed as you chickened out. You got off of the couch and headed into the kitchen. 

“Wait a minute.” He said following you, “You’re not going to start something and then run away.” 

“I’m getting a drink, not running away.” You opened the fridge and pulled out a coke, “Want one?” 

“No.” You just shrugged as you shut the fridge door and went to head back into the living room. Billy didn’t move though, he remained in the center of the doorway. You looked up at him with that same smirk that was on your face moments ago. He wasn’t serious, was he? He bent down to your ear and he whispered, “I never stopped.” He was a true Casanova as an awkward laugh left you and you backed away from him. 

“Funny.” The realization of everything hitting you like a ton of bricks. You tried to slide past him but his arms snaked their way around your torso. You were pressed against his chest as you started to break a sweat. 

“What do I have to say? What do I have to do?” He questioned you, playing with you as he took in your sweet scent. A chill ran up your spine, but you weren’t caving. Serious or not, he was going to have to face you. You turned and gently rested your forearms and hands against his chest. 

“Oh, I don’t know. You could go the traditional route and ask for my hand.” You couldn’t help but let a small laugh escape before continuing, “Or you could whisk me off my feet and save me from a fire breathing dragon. Oh, how about-.” 

You were cut short as his lips very gently but surprisingly found yours. Your body tensed and you froze as his hand found the side of your face. He pulled away and cradled your face, a sad soft smile on his face. He scolded himself, he didn’t think, he just did. He took your hand and brought it gingerly to his lips, trying to back track.

“I’m afraid you’re the one that saved me from the dragon, Princess.” He placed another kiss on your hand before placing it at your side. 

“Wait.” You stopped him from moving another inch, “Do you really like. . .Uhm. . . Like me in that way? I-I’m not her, Billy.” Billy was puzzled at the statement, he raised an eyebrow. 

“What do you mean?” You sighed, completely and utterly afraid to have this conversation. You pulled your hand away from his as you crossed your arms, your face growing hot. 

“I’m not that girl. I’m not the girl who invited you into her house alone, I didn’t patch you up after stupid fights, I didn’t make the police reports, I didn’t chase after you after your supposed death. That’s not me, Billy.” It clicked in Billy’s head, the separation you felt from your past to your present confusing you. For all you knew you didn’t do any of that stuff, someone else did. Someone who was everything to him, but nothing to you. 

“Would you?” He asked as he gazed at you with nothing but concern. It hurt him deeply to see you like this, because you acted the same, talked the same, laughed the same. There was no difference in his eyes, you were exactly the same. 

“Would I?” 

“If you could go back. Would you do all those things?” 

“Of course I would.” You answered without any hesitation as your arms fell back to your side. 

“Then there is no difference between your past and the you that you know.” Billy took you into his arms. “I don’t see you as two people and you shouldn’t either. Everything about you is you, and that’s enough.” You took a deep breath before grabbing his shirt tightly and looking up at him. He smiled as his hands cradled your face, “My favorite girl.” 

You roughly tugged his shirt as you brought his face to yours. You kissed him deeply with every ounce of passion you had in you and he kissed you back. His arms moved quickly from your face to around your waist as he supported you against him. His lips curled into a smile as he kissed you back. 

“How come you always know what to say?” You asked, it came out fractured as your fingers found their way into his hair. He laughed against your lips as he tried to cool down the fire that ran through his whole body. 

“I just do.” 

The highs hit the heights of my baby

And its hold had the fight of my baby

And the lights were as bright as my baby

  You hummed along to the old love song that played on the radio as you finished up dinner. You heard the front door open and you couldn’t fight the smile that engraved itself into your features. You put the pot into the sink and when you turned back around Billy was in the doorway.  

“I could get used to this.” He admitted with a bright smile as he walked over to you. 

“You’ve said that everyday this week.” You laughed as you wrapped your arms around him. He smelt of fresh cologne and auto grease, it was very domestic. “I’m not a-.” 

“Stay at home wife. You’ve said that every day this week.”  He cut you off as he quickly changed your positions and dipped you in the kitchen. He loved how relaxed and malleable you were against him. He pulled you back up as he began to sway you back and forth underneath the kitchen light, that magically kept a tune with the song that played on the radio. “You could be. I can make that happen.” 

“Keep dreaming, Hargrove. Don’t you think you’re jumping the gun?”  You asked, resting your ear against his chest. 

“No,” He shook his head, “Not at all.” He was absolutely high from every ounce of love you gave him, he didn’t want it to end. He’s been dreaming of a moment like this since before he could remember and he didn’t want to let it go. You laughed as you looked back up at him. He lifted his arm slightly while still holding your hand, signaling for you to twirl. You did as he suggested and then returned to his warm embrace. 

“What about what I want? We still have to go back to Hawkins.” You reminded him and he just rolled his eyes. He didn’t want to go back to Hawkins, but you were running out of time. You’ve already pushed your stay for longer than the original month that was agreed upon. So, you both were Hawkins bound in the next couple of days. Billy grunted as he cradled your face in his hands and forced you to look at him. 

“We still have to go back to Hawkins.” He mocked, “I don’t think we should.” He stated firmly. What if when he went back there, he lost everything he had here? What if once you left this maze of smoke and mirrors you didn’t want to be with him anymore? What if the second you stepped foot in that shit hole you ran away from him? 

“Quit pouting, it’s fine. You’re fine. Your sister is there, y’know? My job is there. The house is there.” 

“We move Max here, you quit your job, become a housewife, and we sell the house and we buy here.” He had this all figured out as he kissed you on the lips after each statement. You just sighed as his lips found your neck. 

“You don’t have to go with me, Billy.” He groaned against your neck. That wasn’t the point. He’d follow you straight to hell if that’s where you really wanted to go, but Hawkins harbored his fears, insecurities, and a reputation he’d rather forget. 

“Of course I’m going with you. I just don’t want to leave this.” You smirked, he was wrapped around your finger and this honeymooner stage was sickeningly sweet. 

“I’ve just gotta tie up a couple loose ends, space a few things out, sell a house.” You tangled your fingers in his hair, suppressing a moan as he kissed down your neck, “I’d never leave if I didn’t have too.” You reassured him before his lips found yours in a heated and deep kiss. 

 But your love was unmoved

  “I love you.” His voice was soft and sweet as he held you close. Tangled in the sheets as the warm morning sun crept through the blinds, “I love you.” He repeated into your hair as your heart raced in your chest. You didn’t know what to say or to say it back because to you this confession was early into the start of your new relationship with him; but to him it was long overdue. You just tighten your grip you had on him and listen to his steady heart beat. “You don’t have to say it back if you're not ready. I can wait.” He smirked as he played with your hair. He could practically feel your body vibrating with anticipation, your nervousness feeding him. 

You decided it was best to just hum reassuringly, too afraid to utter the words back to him. He just pulled you as close as he could physically get you as his body heated with excitement. A pressure that’s been on his shoulders finally lifted. He was able to finally say it out loud where you could hear. Where you could receive the confirmation that his feelings were true and they always have been and always will be. 

 And the sights were as stark as my baby

And the cold cut as sharp as my baby

And the nights were as dark as my baby

  The winter air in Hawkins was harsh as you stepped out of the camaro, Max racing for you from the porch. 

“(Y/N)!” She shouted your name with glee as she roughly collided with your chest, “Please don’t take off for that long again. Steve is terrible at keeping a home together.” You laughed as you wrapped your arms around her tightly. 

“He couldn’t have been that bad.” He was that bad, but he tried. Steve rested against the porch rail as you took Max’s hand and swung it back and forth as Billy got out of the car next with a deep breath. 

Max let go of you as she greeted her brother with a hug he wasn’t expecting so quickly. “Hey, shitbird.” He said returning her hug. 

“You still owe me a shit ton of answers.” She said with gritted teeth, “But, I’m happy your back.” She pulled away from him. You threw your bag over your shoulder and grabbed Billy’s as you shut the passenger side door. “C’mon, everyone is waiting and we all have tons of questions.” Max said as she started her way up the drive, babbling about whatever Hawkins has been up to since you left. Billy shut his door and locked his car before going to your side. He took his bag and then your hand as you both followed Max. You both were nervous and neither of you knew where to begin, but you were taking the first step and that was enough. 

 And half as beautiful too

  You’ve both been in Hawkins for about two weeks. The house was just listed and it already had a few offers, the one from Hopper and Joyce stood out amongst the rest; but for now the house was still yours and you still slept in your childhood room. The only difference was that Billy slept in that bed with you. It was nearly seven in the morning and the only person in the house that was awake was Billy. You slept against his chest as he held your cold finger tips, his thumb ghosting over your knuckles. 

He breathed deeply and slowly, afraid to wake you. You were so peaceful when you slept and it would be a shame if he were to wake you up so early on a day off. He kissed your forehead as he wondered how much longer he could keep you against him. The thought of you resting comfortably against him as spring began to thaw Hawkins, the ground softening beneath you as the flowers bloomed. The scorching summer sun nearly killing the grass only for it to be revitalized by the morning dew that would start another day. The soft cool breeze of fall knocking dying leaves off of trees, the deep red, cool toned yellow, and the dried brown colors painting the ground. Then, the return of winter as it sends a pure white snow that thickly coats everything in its path. The imagined scenery painted a beautiful picture in his head, but it didn’t hold a candle to the sight in front of him. You. A sleeping beauty that puts it all to shame. 

You groan and stir as you start to open your eyes, “Good mornin’.” You grumbled out before rubbing your eyes. “Are you ever going to wake me up when you wake up?” You asked, trying to keep yourself from succumbing to the warmth and comfort he provided, tempting you back to sleep. 

“I don’t think so. You’re really something when you aren’t talking.” He lovingly joked as he placed a stern kiss on your forehead. You groaned as you laid there in a comfortable silence. Your eyelids heavy as you blinked, trying to keep them open. 

“I love you.” You said with a deep relaxed breath. A warmth sparking in his chest like you said it for the first time as he held you tighter. 

“I love you more.” 

A/N: It’s been a long time. I’ve had a really hard time with this piece mainly because it took me so long to really figure out what I wanted to do with it lol. But I figured it out sorta. There is a lot of things I had to cut lol. just little scenes that didn’t meant too much but I still loved. But, hopefully I can get some new things out. My brain wouldn’t allow anything until I got this one out of the way. I’m hoping we might get an actual ST4 trailer or something soon, so that really pushed this. I didn’t want to see anything that might’ve messed with how I see this. It is a long one so I hope that doesn’t sway you too much. Anyway, enjoy! @asheseiler​

#hayley writes a bit #billy x reader #billy hargrove x reader #billy x you #stranger things #stranger thing imagine #stranger things imagines #romance #love #comfort #angst #writing #writing romance #stranger thins 4 #st4 #tw: sex #tw: suggestive #tw: mentions of mental and pphysical abuse #tw: violence #Tw: death #tw: food could possibly be ed trigger #hhozier #hozier #i tried #there is probably some mistakes i just can't look at it anymore #enjoy! #would love feedback #thhanks!

[foxgloveandfawn]

FOXGLOVE & FAWN/ EBAY/ ETSY/ DESIGNER FASHION/ VINTAGE FASHION

Vintage Mens Retro FLYING DUCK PRINT PADDED REVERSIBLE Outerwear Bomber Jacket L

#Vintage #Mens Jacket #Retro #FLYING DUCK #DUCK #Outerwear #Bomber Jacket #Padded jacket #FOXGLOVE & FAWN #REVERSIBLE

[moths-wc-aus]

my personal prefix list

A

Acanthus, Aconite, Acorn, Adder, Agate, Albatross, Alder, Algae, Alligator, Allium, Aloe, Alpine, Alyssum, Amaranth, Amaryllis, Amber, Anemone, Ant, Apple, Ash, Ashen, Asp, Aspen, Asphodel, Aster, Atlas, Auburn, Avocet, Azalea, Azure

B

Badger, Barberry, Bark, Barley, Basil, Bass, Bat, Bay, Bayberry, Beach, Bean, Bear, Beaver, Bee, Beech, Beetle, Berry, Betony, Billow, Birch, Bird, Bittern, Black, Blackberry, Blackbird, Blaze, Blazing, Bliss, Blister, Blizzard, Bloom, Blooming, Blossom, Blotch, Blotched, Blue, Bluebell, Blueberry, Bluebird, Boar, Bog, Bolt, Bone, Borage, Boulder, Bounce, Bowfin, Bracken, Bramble, Branch, Brass, Brave, Bream, Breeze, Briar, Bright, Brindle, Bristle, Broken, Bronze, Brook, Broom, Brown, Brush, Bubble, Buck, Bug, Bull, Bullfrog, Bumble, Burdock, Burn, Burnet, Burning, Burnt, Burr, Bush, Buttercup, Butterfly, Buzz, Buzzard

C

Calm, Canary, Cardinal, Carp, Cave, Cavern, Cedar, Chaffinch, Char, Charred, Chasing, Cherry, Chervil, Chestnut, Chick, Chickadee, Chicken, Chipmunk, Chirp, Chive, Chrysalis, Cicada, Cinder, Cinnamon, Clay, Clear, Cliff, Cloud, Clouded, Cloudy, Clover, Coal, Cobalt, Cobweb, Cold, Comet, Comfrey, Condor, Conifer, Copper, Cormorant, Cornflower, Corvid, Cotton, Cougar, Cove, Cow, Coyote, Crab, Crane, Crawfish, Crayfish, Cream, Creek, Creeping, Cricket, Crimson, Crocodile, Crooked, Crouch, Crow, Cuckoo, Curlew, Cygnet, Cypress

D

Daffodil, Daisy, Dancing, Dandelion, Dapple, Dappled, Dark, Dawn, Day, Dazzle, Deer, Dew, Doe, Dog, Dove, Dream, Drift, Drifting, Drizzle, Duck, Dune, Dusk, Dust, Dusty

E

Eagle, Ebony, Echo, Eddy, Eel, Egg, Egret, Eider, Elder, Elk, Elm, Ember, Ermine, Evening, Eventide, Ewe

F

Faith, Falcon, Fallen, Falling, Fallow, Fawn, Feather, Fen, Fennel,  Fern, Ferret, Fidget, Field, Fin, Finch, Fire, Firefly, Fish, Flake, Flame, Flare, Flash, Flax, Flea, Fleet, Flicker, Flight, Flint, Flood, Flounder, Flower, Flurry, Flutter, Fly, Flying, Foam, Fog, Forest, Fox, Foxglove, Freckle, Freckled, Freezing, Fritillary, Frog, Frost, Frozen, Fruit

G

Gale, Gardenia, Garlic, Garter, Gator, Gentle, Ginger, Glade, Gleaming, Glimmer, Glowing, Gloom, Goat, Golden, Goldfish, Goose, Gopher, Gorge, Gorse, Gosling, Grass, Gravel, Green, Grey, Grouse, Grove, Gull, Guppy, Gust

H

Hackberry, Haddock, Hail, Half, Hare, Harrier, Haven, Hawk, Hawthorn, Hay, Haze, Hazel, Heath, Heather, Heavy, Hedge, Hemlock, Hen, Heron, Herring, Hickory, Hidden, Hill, Hive, Hollow, Holly, Honey, Hop, Hope, Horizon, Hornet, Hound, Hush, Hyacinth, Hyssop

I

Ibis, Ice, Icy, Indigo, Iris, Ivory, Ivy

J

Jackdaw, Jagged, Jaguar, Jasmine, Jay, Jump, Jumping, Juniper

K

Kelp, Kestrel, Kindle, Kink, Kite, Knotweed, Koi

L

Lake, Lamb, Larch, Lark, Larkspur, Laurel, Lavender, Leaf, Leaping, Leech, Leek, Lemming, Leopard, Lichen, Light, Lightning, Lily, Lion, Linden, Little, Lizard, Lobelia, Locust, Long, Loon, Lost, Lotus, Loud, Lupine, Lynx

M

Mackerel, Magnolia, Magpie,  Mallard, Mallow, Mantis, Maple, Marble, Marbled, Marigold, Marmot, Marrow, Marsh, Marten, Mayflower, Meadow, Mellow, Merlin, Midge, Milkweed, Mink, Minnow, Mint, Mire, Mist, Mistle, Misty, Mole, Monarch, Moon, Moor, Moorhen, Moose, Morning, Mosquito, Moss, Mossy, Moth, Mottle, Mottled, Mountain, Mouse, Mud, Muddy, Mulberry, Mumble, Murky, Mushroom, Myrtle

N

Needle, Nettle, Newt, Night, Nut, Nuthatch

O

Oak, Oat, Ocean, Oleander, Olive, Orchid, Oriole, Osprey, Otter, Owl, Oyster

P

Pale, Pansy, Panther, Parsley, Parsnip, Partridge, Passerine, Patch, Pea, Peach, Pear, Pearl, Pebble, Peeper, Pelican, Peony, Pepper, Perch, Peregrine, Periwinkle, Petal, Petrel, Petunia, Pheasant, Pickerel, Pigeon, Pike, Pine, Pink, Pipit, Pitch, Plover, Plum, Poison, Pollen, Pond, Pool, Poplar, Poppy, Possom, Posy, Pounce, Prickle, Primrose, Puddle, Puffin, Pumpkin, Purple

Q

Quail, Quick, Quiet

R

Rabbit, Raccoon, Ragged, Ragweed, Rain, Raining, Ram, Raspberry, Rat, Raven, Red, Reed, Ribbon, Ridge, Ripple, Rising, River, Robin, Rock, Rocky, Rook, Rooster, Root, Rose, Rosemary, Rowan, Rubble, Rue, Rumble, Running, Rush, Rushing, Russet, Rust, Rusty, Rye

S

Sable, Sage, Salamander, Salmon, Salvia, Sand, Sandwort, Sandy, Sap, Scarlet, Scorch, Scorched, Scorching, Scratch, Screech, Sea, Seal, Sedge, Seed, Senna, Serval, Shade, Shadow, Shale, Sharp, Shatter, Sheep, Shell, Shimmer, Shining, Shiver, Shore, Shrew, Shrike, Shrub, Shy, Silent, Silk, Silver, Singe, Singing, Skip, Skunk, Sky, Slate, Sleek, Sleeping, Sleepy, Sleet, Slight, Slip, Sloe, Slug, Sly, Small, Smoke, Smudge, Snag, Snail, Snake, Snap, Sneeze, Snow, Snowy, Soaring, Soft, Song, Soot, Sorrel, Spark, Sparrow, Speckle, Speckled, Spider, Splash, Splinter, Splotch, Spot, Spotted, Spring, Spruce, Squirrel, Stag, Starling, Stem, Stoat, Stone, Stork, Storm, Stormy, Strawberry, Stream, Strike, Striped, Sugar, Sun, Sunflower, Sunny, Swallow, Swamp, Swan, Sweet, Swift, Swirl, Sycamore

T

Tabby, Tall,  Talon, Tanager, Tangle, Tansy, Tawny, Teasel, Tempest, Tern, Thicket, Thistle, Thorn, Thrush, Thunder, Thyme, Tide, Tiger, Timber, Tiny, Toad, Topple, Torrent, Tortoise, Tree, Trout, Tulip, Tumble, Turkey, Turtle, Twig, Twilight, Twist, Twisted, Twitch

U

Umber, Ursinia

V

Valley, Velvet, Venom, Vervain, Vetch, Vine, Violet, Viper, Vixen, Vole, Vulture

W

Walnut, Wandering, Warble, Warbler, Wasp, Weasel, Web, Weed, Wet, Whirl, Whisker, Whisper, Whispering, Whistle, White, Whorl, Wild, Willow, Wind, Windy, Wish, Wisp, Wolf, Wood, Wool, Wooly, Worm, Wren

Y

Yarrow, Yellow, Yew

#warriors #warrior cats #mod ramblings #warriors prefixes #warrior names #name help #my resources

[fazbears-horror-attraction]

Can I have some name suggestions? I'm genderfae so I'd like them to be unisex but still sound feminine. Preferably fairycore/forestcore in vibe and no common nouns. Thank you! <3

Hello hello!!! I can try my best, not entirely sure if these are common or not.

Doe / Fawn / Melody / Prism / Mist / Raine / Rainbowe / Rainboe / Vixen / Hare / Web / Leif / Berry / Blueberry / Raspberry / Foxglove / Ivy / Glistening / Twilight / Wings

#If i think of more I'll add more <3 #☆ - 6am; request completed #Anons #Name suggestions #Feminine names #Unisex names #Genderfae names

[lune-hime]

Garden of Tulips (Levi/Reader) Chapter 4

~Click me for more chapters~

“What did it look like?”

“Hmm?” Levi looked up from his place next to your sleeping form. “The titan that tried to snack on my darling granddaughter.” “Ugly as fuck.” “Aren’t they all?”

Levi recounts memories of the reader and their shared life together while she recovers from a serious injury.

!!WARNINGS!! - Violence, gore, smut, wholesome content ;)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tulipa Rainbow Parrot ~ A tulip whose vibrant warm tones burst from deep violet petals like festive firecrackers.

↞↠↞↠↞↠

“Where is that frilly lass? We are already behind schedule.” Your grandmother exhaled and tapped her foot impatiently. Levi idly counted the butterflies that fluttered at the foxgloves planted along the polished steps he sat upon. In all honesty, he didn’t mind the waiting. The longer they lingered at the property meant less time for his anxiety to rear its ugly head the moment they left you behind.

The harsh crunching of dirt under boots collided with his ear drums as a young woman raced into view. She held fistfulls of her jade colored dress with one hand while the other struggled to keep the satchel on her shoulder as it flapped wildly in time with her pace.

“‘Bout time.” The old woman huffed, crossing her arms and assuming a position that reminded Levi that she was once a high ranking officer in the armed forces. The girl that Levi presumed to be Felicia skidded to a halt in front of them. Her ragged breaths broke the mid-morning calm and her erratic movements had scared off Levi’s counting material.

“I’m here gnädige Frau! So sorry I’m late, I was preparing some tonics for miss Y/N and-well-” Felicia was heaving and inhaled sharply before continuing.

“I dropped the first batch on the floor so I had to clean up the glass but the shattering of the bottle gave me such a fright that I knocked over the mixing bowl and thus there all my ingredients were now wasted so I had to return to the apothecary to fetch new ones and-” Due to her lack of breath, her excited explanation was barely understandable the longer she carried on. Your grandmother held up a hand signaling her to stop. Felicia coughed once and immediately straightened up, clearly intimidated. She brushed the stray honey blonde baby hairs that had haphazardly escaped their hold back into place behind her ears and stood at attention.

“Felicia, that’s enough.” The lack of surprise in your grandmother’s voice let Levi know that this kind of interaction was nothing new.

“This is Levi. I’m very sure you have heard of him, as has the entirety of the walls.” She gestured to Levi with a nod of her head. Felicia gasped, immediately spewing apologies for not greeting him immediately.

“Oh my! Captain, it’s a pleasure to meet you.” Felicia sputtered politely, attempting a deep curtsy. Her bag fell dangerously close to the ground as she did so and she just barely caught it when the strap slipped down to her elbow. She fumbled to collect herself and proceeded to salute enthusiastically, puffing her chest and looking straight past either of the other soldiers in front of her.

Levi shot a quizzical look at your grandmother who just shook her head and sighed.

“At ease?” Levi responded.

“Come inside, girl. It’s a shame that this is your first meeting with Y/N in a while.” Your grandmother turned on her heel and started up the stairs. Levi stood up and waited for Felicia to follow her, however she stood impeccably straight at the bottom of the porch. Levi regarded her with raised eyebrows.

“After you.” He stated unsure, arm extended towards the door. She squeaked and nodded vigoriously and trotted into the house, all the way her bag clanking loudly.

The creaking of the stairs was a prelude to the horrified gasp that resounded through the doorway. Felicia’s expression mimicked your grandmother’s when he had presented you in your state. The pure sadness that hummed along her features gave Levi a glimpse at what he must have looked like when he had seen the abnormal swat you out of the sky.

“Gnädige Frau, w-what happened?” Felicia’s voice crackled with emotion and her hands shook against the leather in her hands.

“Titans, that’s what. Her cuts are deep. I reckon she’s got some fractured ribs, too, based on her bruising.” Your grandmother responded. Levi stood at the foot of the bed, his arms crossed into himself and a hand resting at his chin.

“I tended to her most pressing wounds last night. But I’m afraid her body has gone into shock and she has yet to wake up.”

Felicia nodded, tears beginning to pool at the corners of her eyes. Levi felt a pang in his chest for the girl. You had told him many stories about her; her character painted with fond childhood memories. It was a surreal experience for Levi to be putting so many names and concepts to faces when you weren’t here to experience them with him consciously.

“What have you brought?” Your grandmother inquired, snapping Felica out of her bubbling well.

“U-um, some tonics, antiseptics, salts.” She sniffled.

“Good, good. You are a fine apprentice indeed.” Your grandmother praised and moved so Felicia could get closer to you.

Felicia began unloading the contents of her bag. Levi watched as glass bottles, their liquids a rainbow of colors, were laid out on the table. Her practice seemed more like witchcraft than medicine.

“Where exactly do you apprentice?” Levi asked, curiosity and slight worry about the extensiveness and obscurity of her collection getting the better of him. Felicia halted her actions and stopped what she was doing to properly address Levi, standing straight as an arrow.

“Oh! Besides being a housekeeper for the Vogel estate-”

“Hush, this is no estate. Maybe during my father’s time but now it's just a house.” Your grandmother mumbled while eyeing a thin-necked bottle with a foaming liquid inside.

“R-right, Frau Vogel. In addition to being a housekeeper for the Vogel family , I am also an apprentice at the local apothecary. Krovla’s hospital is constantly overrun these days, so I’m learning how to treat the locals here.” Felicia explained with a formality that contrasted with her scattered personality. Levi nodded in understanding.  

“Felicia, you don’t need to treat Levi like a prized artifact. He’s not your superior officer so stop with this saluting-bullshit. You’re the same age for Pete’s sake.” Your grandmother said, annoyance seeping onto her face.

Felicia let out a squeak and nodded slowly. She was clearly uncomfortable about casually addressing someone of more experience, even if they were the same age. While she was apprehensive about improperly addressing authority, she was not apprehensive about talking. Levi quickly learned that she was quite the nervous chatterbox.

“Captain, gnädige Frau, would you both help me set her up please.” She requested, giving one of her bottles one last inspection and a final swirl.

“Captain, open her mouth please.” Felicia instructed softly. Levi was sitting so close to you that his thigh almost brushed your forearm. Yet, he was afraid to touch you. It was strange, and gave him that familiar stomach churning feeling. How could something so loved and familiar to him feel so fragile and foreign? His thumb ghosted over your pale lips and with as delicate a hand as he could muster pulled down your jaw. He held it there while Felicia carefully had you drink the tonic. It was a painfully slow process where Levi fixed his gaze on your limp form still performing living functions.

“It is wonderful that she is able to swallow.” Felicia commented, relief evident in her voice. She screwed the cap back onto the bottle and discarded it next to her bag.

“Mhm. It could have been much worse.” Your grandmother answered. Her statement rang true but cast a dark cloud over the already damp room. Felicia picked up on this and cleared her throat.

“You know, Captain, when Y/N has been able to return home she always talks about you. She goes on an on and on about your handsomeness, selflessness-” Felicia adorned a nostalgic smile as she recalled your musings.

The corner of Levi’s mouth twitched upward into an almost grin. Damn, you made him sound like prince charming. Which was appreciated, but couldn’t be more far from the truth.

“I gotta say I agree with her that your height is very cute-” She drawled and then bristled like a startled cat. Your grandmother could not contain her guffaw and slapped the now wide eyed Felicia on the back. She didn’t have a filter, poor thing. Like a fawn with a blabber mouth caught at gunpoint, she was.

Levi cringed and let out a deep sigh.

“I-I mean-that’s not a bad thing...right?” Felicia was now as red as a beet and looked as if her head was going to explode out of embarrassment. Levi didn’t respond, only regarded her with the unfamiliar steeliness that scared many.

Frankly, Levi couldn’t give one single shit about how tall he was; or anyone for that matter. But the incessant declaration of cuteness by comrades and strangers alike never sat well with him. Like a fly ceaselessly buzzing against a window it cannot cross. Usually the teasing would be solved with force but he was not about to use that on your family.

“What’s with that look? There’s nothing wrong with being short, I mean look at me.” Your grandmother stated confidently with a wily grin.

↞♞♘↠

The glee of the capital’s festival bled through the streets and blanketed every corner of the city on this celebrated evening. Everywhere he looked was another smiling face infected with the festival cheer. Levi couldn't deny that even he was not utterly immune to the happy virus.

His good mood was mostly due to you (and being able to finally rid himself of the stuffy capital officials), or moreover his alone time with you. After the opening ceremony, which was mostly glorifying the military police while the garrison and corps were there to stand there as ornaments of the government, was mandated break time for all soldiers. You two had simultaneously ditched Eren and Jean when they started getting competitive with the festival games and swerved Hange when she got particularly excited about the fancy delicacies.

Your mood, on the other hand, had done a complete 180 since ditching your decorated uniform for civilian clothes. Your fingers pawed at the fabric of your baby blue dress as intrusive thoughts began to slither through your mind like the blindingly neon colored plush snakes that could be won as prizes. You weren’t usually one to be bothered by the opinions of obnoxious festival goers. Unless it poked at one of your deepest insecurities.

A hundred times over you had told yourself to not let it ruin your night out. That your obsessiveness was stupid. Irrational even. That Levi had proved your persistent opinions wrong many many times. But like anyone knows with a thought that was born deep under your skin and resides within your tissues, it's very hard to eradicate.

“Would you ever date a girl who is taller than you?” One guy asked, gesturing discreetly in your direction from their spot behind you in line.

“Nah man. I wouldn’t be able to feel like a man. She’s sexy though, so even if I was shorter than her I’d make an exception.” One of the others added with a charm only a teenage boy could find appealing. The rest of their party hummed in agreement.

You tried your absolute hardest to focus on the lively drum beats, the elated stomping of dancers, and the boisterous pops of fire crackers. Yet their uninvited snickers remained replaying through your mind. You attempted to present as unbothered as Levi passed you his corndog. He rolled his sleeves up to his elbows and gave his shoulders a few lazy rolls.

You were supposed to be enjoying the Festival of the Hearth, supposed to be watching Levi lose to you at the hammer strength game, supposed to be happily eating your coma-inducing fried food, supposed to not let comments like that infringe on your happiness. The mental strain of your last expedition paired with the exhaustion that followed official government meetings left you with a petri dish for growing your insecurity. You knew you didn't need the approval of strangers but it ate away at you nonetheless. The victorious chiming of the bell at the top of the game rang with such force that it pulled you out of your pity party.

“I beat you.” Levi announced and turned back to smirk at you. He accepted the plushie, a creature somewhere between a turtle and a duck, from the carnival worker.

“Yeah, good job!” You exclaimed with forced gusto. When your grin cracked Levi squinted his eyes in suspicion. He regarded you with the sternness of a scolding parent, gaze flitting from you to the group behind you.

“How you let other people’s stupid opinions drag you down still gets to me.” Levi looked up at you with light annoyance. His agitation wasn’t a stab towards you but rather frustration that you couldn’t let these things go.

“What do you mean?” You abruptly answered. The hastiness of your reply was about as convincing as a wilted flower.

“It’s useless to play dumb with me. Why are you listening to random brats? Don’t you do enough of that back at HQ?” Levi chided as he cuffed his sleeves, the plushie held securely in his armpit.

“Look, it’s not that big of a deal.”

“No, some people talk too fucking loud.” Levi added, voice like a razor blade. His eyes were a weapon and dug so sharply into the men that they all began to find the neighboring cotton candy machine incredibly visually stimulating. You then hastily pulled Levi to the side to not clog up the line for the game.

“I heard what they said and it shouldn’t matter.” He said as he traded you the food for the plush. It was soft to the touch and looked at you with cold but adorable eyes. Akin to how you would describe those belonging to your love.

“I know. It’s fine, I’m fine.” You assured, hugging the turtle-duck to your chest. You knew too well he wouldn’t pick up the bullshit you were putting down. But, eh, it was worth a try.

He deadpanned and held your gaze so intensely that soon Tesla coils were spinning in the space between the two of you.

“Come on.” He beckoned. His voice was almost too low to hear over the ringing of the carnival games. He weaved the fingers of his free hand with yours so to not lose you as he led you through the hustle and bustle. No words were shared along this walk, allowing all the sensories of the festival to set in. Bodies danced past you in varying frenzies, confetti blasted in sporadic showers from the rooftops, and the artificial lights from the carnival games swept you up and

made you feel like you were in another world. Only a passing hello was exchanged when you briefly bumped into Sasha and Connie in line for the baked potatoes.

Levi parked you at the boardwalk. Plump tulips swayed in time with the music along the base of the railing. The river was alight with wishing lanterns, each one of them twinkling like fallen stars along the rippling water. He unbraided his fingers from yours and gave you that electric look once again.

He turned to you already assured of the outcome of what he was mentally planning.

“Do you wish I was taller?” He inquired nonchalantly. He leaned against the railing and took a bite out of his corn dog.

You huffed, a bit taken aback by his question. When he regarded you with one brow raised, that half smug grin of his made it click. He was trying to get you to realize the absurdity of your worries.

As if you didn’t already know.

“Of course I don’t.” You pouted. The warm light that bobbed from within the floating lanterns danced along your skin, giving you an ethereal glow that briefly made Levi forget what he even asked you. He found your hypocrisy amusingly irritating.

Levi had no self-consciousness about his appearance, for it really didn’t matter to him. He was aware that he was considered “handsome” by you and plenty of others but it was all dirt off his shoulders in the grand scheme of things. The workings of his physicality is what was more important, not its aesthetics.

“What if I said that I hated myself because I am short.” He questioned again. The evenness with which he posed his question did nothing to hide his lack of sincerity. You stared at him like someone who knew they had already lost a bet.

“Well you already hate yourself so-” You responded dryly, attempting to divert the conversation away from your ebbing embarrassment.  Levi rolled his eyes and continued to wait for the response he desired.

“Fine. I would say that it’s dumb to think that way.” You mumbled, resigning to his logic.

Levi’s lips curled. The annoyance that had surrounded him before was dusted off by the soft eyelashes of the night sky. He ditched the remnants of his corn dog in the nearest trashcan and approached you so that only a few inches separated your bodies.

“I would never wish for something as trivial as changing your height. The fact I have to slightly look up at you is one of the most insignificant things in my life.” He stated, tilting his head gently upward to meet your gaze.  His sincerity struck you like an arrow and embedded itself so lovingly within you that it shot all of the pesky doubts right out of your body.

“I know thoughts can get stuck in that brain of yours but focus on what you think of yourself and not what a group of shitheads, or anyone, decides to vomit out of their mouths.” The vulgarity of his sentence made you smile and you nodded in affirmation.

“Thank you, Levi.” You said, letting out one last puff air to rid your body of the sour mood.

He grinned in return, blessing you with one of your favorite sights. Despite feeling like a slight doofus, Levi didn’t belittle you for feeling this way. Moments like these caused the kind man under the marbled facade to peep through and made your chest swell with even more love for him.

“Here, there’s one more thing I want to do to further prove my point.” He said, gesturing towards the wooden booth selling wishing lanterns. Once a few dollars were handed over, the woman behind the counter gave the two of you square pieces of parchment and a pair of quills.

“I can think of a million other things I would rather wish for.” Levi reaffirmed as he dipped the quill in the inkwell.

“Like for the titans to fuck off into oblivion. To make Eren’s asshole the only orphus on his body so I don’t have to deal with his constant screaming. To get Hange to stop asking me for my toenails. Fucking disgusting.” He muttered the last part with a grimace. His attempt to make you laugh had succeeded and his heart bloomed with warmth when he heard you giggle.

“For a bigger bath so we have more room to-” He began casually, instantly being shushed by your finger to his lips. With his lips blocked his eyes smirked instead.

“You can’t write that.” You interjected in disbelief.

“Why not? No one is going to see it. My lantern, my wish.” He replied with a shameless shrug. You shook your head and set down your plushie to start writing your own.

“See? No height changes on this.” Levi declared after a few moments. His sudden display of paper made you quickly conceal yours. Your eyes skimmed over the colorful, yet surprisingly lovely language that dipped you in a feeling as warm as the sugared glaze of the carnival donuts.

“You have a lot of wishes.” You commented. Granted, most of them were obscure and seemed only to be there to lift your spirits.

“This world fucking sucks.” Levi responded as if it was the simplest thing within the walls. You couldn’t completely argue.

“What did you wish for?” Levi prodded as he eyed the paper you held face down to your chest. You defensively folded it in half and closed it within your palm.

“I can’t tell you or else it won’t come true.”

Levi exhaled and pursed his lips.

“You don’t believe that bull do you?”

“I can’t risk it.” You said stubbornly with a playful grin.

“Tell me or I’ll revoke your prize.” Levi urged slyly, nodding down to the turtleduck on the table. You gasped lightly and scooped up the piece of fluff into your embrace.

“You wouldn’t dare separate me from our child.” You accused with feigned offence. Levi looked into those dark, synthetic eyes and huffed.

“We could never produce something as ugly as that creature.” Levi threw back. He had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep himself from cracking a smile at your exasperated look. He would secretly admit, the animal was actually pretty cute.

“Well for being rude to your daughter you definitely don’t get to know my wish now.” You countered and picked up your lantern and began walking towards the river. You turned to look over your shoulder with an excitement that dismissed the family quarrel.

Amidst hundreds of other festival goers at the river Levi held your lantern as you secured the paper to the inside with yarn. After doing the same for him, you lit the candle near the bottom with a match. The delicate ivory siding of the lantern crackled under your tender touch as you raised yours to the sky. Levi mirrored your movements.

“Ready?” You asked. The two of you looked at each other with unspoken fondness.

“Yeah.”

Then, your chambers of light and worldly prayers slipped past your finger tips and into the cosmos. Two pairs of outstretched palms bid them farewell as they sailed into the galaxy to form a constellation with the thousands of other lanterns that peppered the sky. Those now empty hands were filled with the comfort of each other as they relished in the last few minutes of tranquility before they slipped into the crowd to regroup with the others.

↞♞♘↠

“Alright my girl, we are going to head out now.” Your grandmother announced, wiping her hands on the dish towel and placing it next to the sink. The awake members of the household had gathered in the kitchen before leaving for town.

“Right! I shall start planning out Y/N’s dinner and ours as well.” Felicia said with a determined glint in her eyes. Your grandmother smiled softly at her passionate response.

“Fine, but do not feel obligated to clean anything while I am gone. Although I know you will.” She instructed with a playful sternness. Felicia laughed bashfully before tilting her head in a bow of compliance.

Levi and the old woman’s boots tapped against the porch steps and down towards their awaiting carriage.

“Why don’t you just make her leave if you don’t want her service?” Levi wondered aloud. Your grandmother chuckled gruffly as she lifted herself onto the front seat of the wagon with youthful agility.

“As much as I grumble…” She began with a dreamy sigh. Levi awaited her reply as he heaved himself into the seat next to her, faltering slightly when he had to use his sore shoulder.

“I can’t kick her out because she makes the best schnitzel within these walls.” She confessed, her features glazing over in longing for the immaculately fried breading and juicy pork.  

“So you have something to look forward to when we return.” Your grandmother declared with a crinkle of her eyes and a crack of the reins.

#LEVI ACKERMAN #levi #levi heichou #levi x reader #levi x y/n #AoT #snk #snk x reader #aot x reader #attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #levi/reader #jean kirschstein #bisexual jean #attack on titan fanfiction #fanfiction

[chocolatte-and-despair]

Can you give me a link to the list of every single character that you made please? I have to scroll for a long time to find it...

((I constantly add new characters to my list, so just because you don’t see your AU or character on this list doesn’t mean you shouldn’t go ahead and request the character! I’m always excited to add new things! So, go ahead, and ask for characters that might not be on here!))

UNDERTALE:

* Sans/Undertale Sans ‘ The Judge ‘ -

* Papyrus/Undertale Papyrus ‘ The Liar ‘  -

* Gaster/Undertale Gaster ‘ The Forgotten Scientist ‘ -

* Grillby/Undertale Grillby ‘The Bartender ‘ -

* Toriel/Undertale Toriel 'The Caretaker' -

* Asgore/Undertale Asgore 'The Previous King' -

* Alphys/Undertale Alphys ' The anxious scientist ' -

* Undyne/Undertale Undyne ' Captain of the royal guard ' -

* Flowey/Undertale Flowey ' The soulless monster ' -

* Bratty/Undertale Bratty ' The friendly crocodile ' -

* Catty/undertale Catty ' The chatty cat ' -

* Lady/Snowdin shopkeeper ' the cheerful shopkeeper from snowdin ' -

* Chara/Undertale Chara ' The vengeful ghost ' -

* Asriel/Undertale Asriel ' The crybaby heir ' -

* Frisk/Undertale Frisk ' the monster ambassador ' -

* Mickey/Undertale Monster Kid ' The Undyne Fan ' -

* Ginger/Undertale Burgerpants -

UNDERFELL:

* Red/Underfell Sans ‘ The Sentry’  -  

* Boss/Underfell Papyrus ‘The Guard Captain’  -  

* Aster/Underfell Gaster ‘ The Failed Scientist ‘ -

* Firefly/Underfell Grillby ‘ The Cold Flirt ‘ -

* Ursa/Underfell Toriel 'The Caretaker of the Catacombs' -

* Tenor/Underfell Asgore ' The Tyrant' -

* Laguna/Underfell Alphys ' The mad scientist ' -

* Currant/Underfell Undyne ' The cruel captain ' -

* Dessy/Underfell Chara ' The demon who brought despair underground ' -

* Daffodil/Underfell Flowey ' The frightful flower ' -

* Fawn/Underfell Frisk ' The genocidal freak ' -

* Penny/Underfell Monster Kid ' The moody teenager ' -

* Tuscan/Underfell Asriel ' The obsessive prince ' -

UNDERSWAP:

* Lucky/Underswap Sans ‘ The Manipulator’  -  

* Stretch/Underswap Papyrus ‘ The Puppet ‘   -  

* Dings/Underswap Gaster ‘ The RiverMan ‘ -

* Peachy/Underswap Grillby 'The bubbling bakery owner'

* Pepper/Underswap Mutter ' The quiet Bartender' -

* Cinnamon/Underswap Chara ' The Two-Faced savior ' -

* Tawny/Underswap Asriel ' The friendly town guide ' -

* Buttercup/Underswap Frisk ' The lost princess ' -

* Periwinkle/Underswap Monster Kid ' The current monster prince ' -

SWAPFELL:

* Razz/Swapfell Sans ‘ The Lord ‘ -  

* Mutt/Swapfell Papyrus ‘ The Wild Dog’  -

* Ebony/Swapfell Toriel ' The unstable Queen' -

* Marigold/Swapfell Asgore ' The Unstable Caretaker' -

* Fuschia/Swapfell Alphys -

* Rosewood/Swapfell Undyne -

* Pitch/Swapfell Chara ' The Cheerful ambassador ' -

* Cobalt/Swapfell Asriel ' The quiet town guide ' -

* Chartreuse/Swapfell Frisk ' The domineering prince ' -

* Peacock/Swapfell Monster Kid ' The prideful princess ' -

FELLSWAP:

* Blackberry/Fellswap Sans ‘ The WannaBe Guard ‘ -

* Patch/Fellswap Papyrus ‘ The Loyal Pet ‘ -

* Sunny/Fellswap Grillby ‘ The Poisonous Bakery Owner ‘ -

* Mahogany/Fellswap Chara ' The temperamental fallen human ' -

* Flaxen/Fellswap Asriel ' The bored town guide ' -

* Canary/Fellswap Frisk ' The good-hearted Lost Spirit ' -

* Jade/Fellswap Monster Kid ' The frightful princess ' -

FELLSWAP GOLD:

*Merlot/Fellswap Gold Sans ' The bad wine expert wannabe ' -

*Mochaccino/Fellswap Gold Papyrus ' The coffee addict ' -

HORRORTALE:

* Hickory/Horrortale Sans ‘ The Butcher ‘ -

* Tatters/Horrortale Papyrus ‘ The Cannibal ‘ -

* Lilac/Horrortale Toriel - 

* Vile/Horrortale Grillby 'The starving bartender'

* Trigger/ Horrortale Undyne ' The Fallen Queen ' -

* Widow/Horrortale Muffet ' The Black Widow ' -

STORYSHIFT:

* Toffee/Storyshift Chara ‘ The Guard ‘ -

* Plum/storyshift Asriel ‘ The Captain’s Son ‘ -

* Pebble/Storyshift Frisk ' The one who will free them all ' -

* Moss/Storyshift Monster Kid ' The village boy ' -

* Cantaloupe/Storyshift Papyrus -

* Skyblue/Storyshift Sans ‘ The King ‘ -

ASYLUMTALE:

* Delta/Asylumtale Sans ‘ The Maniac ‘ -

* Daisy/Asylumtale Alphys 'The therapist' -

OVERTALE:

* Sam/Overtale Sans 'The Boy-Next-Door' -

* Audrey/Overtale Papyrus 'The eccentric mascot' -

* Sapphire/Overtale Frisk ' The friendly goat monster ' -

* Oliver/Overtale Monster Kid ' The curious neighborhood teenager ' -

OUTERTALE:

* Bumblebee/Outertale Flower ' The worrisome flower ' -

* Midnight/Outertale Sans ‘ The Star Fanatic ‘ -

*  Marrow/Outertale Papyrus ‘ The Earth Fanatic ‘ -

DELTARUNE:

* Kris/Deltarune Kris  -

* Susie/Deltarune Susie  -

TRICKSTERTALE:

* Sugarberry/Trickstertale Swap!Sans ' The eccentric Trickster ' -

OUTCODES:

* Glitch/Error! Sans 'The destroyer' -

* Palette/Ink! Sans 'The creator' -

* Night/Nightmare! Sans 'The bringer of nightmares' -

* Starry/Dream! Sans 'The bringer of gentle dreams' -

* Sansy/Fresh! Sans 'The parasite' -

* Coral/Shattered Dream -

* Iris/Fresh! Chara -

* Fern/Mafia!Dream  ' The Optimistic Detective ' -

* Onyx/Mafia!Nightmare  ' The Pessimistic Detective ' -

* Sangria/Mafia!Ink  ' The soulless detective ' -

* Chiffon/Mafia!Error  ' The guilty Detective ' -

* Berry/Strawberry Nightmare ' The positive nightmare ' -

* Arctic/Snake!Dream!Sans ' The positive snake protector ' -

* Anchor/Snake!Nightmare!Sans ' the negative snake guardian ' -

* Sky/Outcode Underswap Sans ' The last star sans ' -

* Coral/Shattered Dream -

* Raven/Killertale Sans -

* Blueprints/Error! Underswap Sans -

BITTIES:

* Tortilla/ Pup Bitty -

* Denim/Sansy Bitty ' The lazy bitty ' -

* Pistachio/Sansy Naga Bitty ' The peaceful snake bitty ' -

* Jam/Edgy bitty -

* Navy/Baby blue bitty -

ECHO SANSES:

* Echo/Echotale Sans ‘ The PlayBoy’  -

* Heather/Echofell Sans -

* Juniper/Echoswap Sans - 

ECHO PAPYRUSES:

* Green/Echotale Papyrus ‘ The BookWorm’  -

DUST SANSES:

* Solaris/Dusttale Sans ‘ The Murderer ‘ -

DUST PAPYRUSES:

* Hound/Dustswapfell Papyrus 'The feeling addict' -

* Yammy/DustJar Papyrus -

* Bronze/Disbelief Papyrus -

* Sandstone/Dustbelief Papyrus -

* Squash/Dustswap Papyrus -

* Fog/Dusttale Papyrus

DUST ASRIELS:

* Carob/Dustshift Asriel -

HORROR GASTERS:

* Rust/horrorfell Gaster 'The man who speaks in screams ' -

* Carnal/Horrorswapfell Gaster ' The Pathetic RiverMan ' -

HORROR SANSES:

* Teddy/Horrorfell Sans 'The dusting butcher' -

* Cranberry/Horrorswap Sans 'The backstabbing maniac' -

* Bell/Horrorfellswap Sans 'The incompetent little helper' -

* Knight/Horrorswapfell Sans 'The Try hard protector' -

* Garnet/Horrorfellswap gold sans -

HORROR PAPYRUSES:

* Rottenberry/Horrorfell Papyrus ‘ The Mute ‘ -

* Pine/Horrorswap Papyrus ' The creepy Con Artist ' -

* Cedar/Horrorfellswap gold Papyrus -

HORROR ASRIELS:

* Umber/Horrorshift Asriel ' the broken down sentry ' -

HORROR CHARAS:

* Soot/Horrorshift Chara ' the protective Butcher ' -

LUST SANSES:

* Spice/Underlust Sans ‘ The Lover ‘ -

* Cotton/Lustswapfell Sans 'The Authoritative slut' -

* Candy/Lustfell Sans -

* Teal/Swaplust sans ' The innocent slut ' -

LUST PAPYRUSES:

* Sugar/Underlust Papyrus ‘ The Friend-With-Benefits ‘ -

* Lavender/Lustfellswap Papyrus 'The Affection seeker' -

* Marmalade/swaplust Papyrus -

LUST GRILLBYS:

* Cerulean/Lustfell Grillby 'The flirty bartender'

LUST TORIELS:

* Sepia/Lustfell Toriel - 

* Orchid/Horrorlust Toriel - 

ALTER SANSES:

* Eros/Altertale Sans 'The gentle giant' -

* Nebula/Alterswap Sans 'The benevolent ruler' -

DANCE SANSES:

* ��Azure/Dancetale Sans 'The dancer' -

* Puffy/Danceswap Sans ‘ The Happy-Go-Lucky Dancer ‘ -

DANCE PAPYRUSES:

* Lyric/Danceswap Papyrus 'The jokester dance fanatic' -

* Tangerine/Dancetale Papyrus  -

OUTER SANSES:

* Comet/Outerswap Sans 'The Curious human fanatic' -

* Pluto/Outerfellswap Sans 'The strength fanatic' -

* Perseus/Outerswapfell Sans ' The rule follower ' -

* Cygnus/Outerfell Sans ' The eccentric dreamer ' -

STORY CHARAS:

* Cherry/Shiftfell Chara ‘ The Pet ‘ -

* Majesty/Shiftfellswap Chara ‘ The Captain Of Pride ‘ -

* Caramel/Storyswap Chara ' The friendly sentry-to-be ' -

STORY ASRIELS:

* Brash/Storyswapfell Asriel 'The absent minded sentry' -

* Ivory/Storyswap Asriel ' The laid-back sentry ' -

STORY PAPYRUSES:

* Bloodbath/Shiftfell Papyrus ‘ The Catacombs Caretaker ‘ -

MAFIA SANSES:

* Riffle/Mafiatale Sans ‘ The Mobster ‘ -

* Riggs/Mafiafell Sans 'The failing underling' -

* Slate/Mafiaswap Sans ‘ The Two-Faced ‘ -

* Mal/Mafiafellswap Sans ‘ The Malevolent Boss ‘ -

* Casanova/Mafiaswapfell Sans ' The Angry Boss ' -

* Grim/Mafiahorror Sans ' The Devoted follower ' -

MAFIA PAPYRUSES:

* Rose/Mafiatale Papyrus ‘The Right Hand ‘ -

* Whip/Mafiafell Papyrus ‘ The Boss ‘ -

* Slim/Mafiaswap Papyrus 'The blind follower' -

* Rus/Mafiaswapfell Papyrus ‘The Jack-Of-All-Trades ‘ -

* Slim/Mafiaswap Papyrus 'The blind follower' -

* Toots/Mafiafellswap Papyrus ' The kind follower ' -

* Dreary/Mafiahorror Papyrus ' The cowardly follower ' -

MAFIA GASTERS:

* Syrup/Mafiafellswap Gaster ‘The Spy ‘ -

* Chompers/Mafiahorror Gaster ‘The deceased Don’ -

* Admiral/Mafiafell Gaster ' The brutal Don ' -

* Basiliscus/Mafiatale Gaster ' The Collected Don' -

* Apricot/Mafiaswap Gaster  ' The cheerful informant ' -

* Sable/Mafiaswapfell Gaster ' The strict Don ' -

MAFIA CHARAS:

* Dove/Mafiafell Chara  ' The Apathetic heir ' -

* Sage/Mafiaswap Chara   ' The two-faced sweetheart ' -

SLAVE SANSES:

* Ardor/Slavetale Sans 'The catalyst' -

* Roxxy/Slavefell Sans  'The lovable pervert' -

* Ditzy/Slaveswap Sans  'The savant slave' -

* Wisteria/Slaveswapfell Sans 'The perfectionist' -

* Azalea/Slavefellswap Sans 'The housekeeper' -

* Mortis/SlaveDust Sans 'The loose canon' -

* Cassiopeia/SlaveOuter Sans 'The perfect prey' -

* Jaws/Slavehorror Sans 'The starving slave' -

SLAVE PAPYRUSES:

* Viper/Slaveswap Papyrus 'The skeptical slave' -

* Rogue/Slavefell Papyrus  'The reluctant slave' -

* Pup/Slaveswapfell Papyrus 'The perfect puppy' -

* Foxglove/Slavefellswap Papyrus 'The perfect lover' -

OVER SANSES:

* Frank/Overfell Sans 'The flirty mechanic' -

* Tommy/Overswap Sans 'The friendly donut shop owner' -

* Pierre/Overswapfell Sans 'The justice obsessed officer'

* Theodore/Overfellswap Sans 'The temperamental nurse'

* Flynn/Overhorror Sans 'The veteran'

* Angelo/OverLust Sans 'The insane cat gentleman'

* Daniel/OverOuter Sans 'The passionate astronomer'

* Tony/OverMafia Sans 'The typical dark backstory ex-mafiose'

OVER PAPYRUSES:

* Russel/Overswapfell Papyrus 'The child-loving kindergarden teacher'

* Tobias/Overfellswap Papyrus 'The helpless romantic'

* Whitley/OverLust Papryus 'The damsel in distress'

* Willow/OverMafia Papyrus 'The friendly rival'

BEAST SANSES:

* Spurce/Beasttale Sans ' The territorial Alpha ' -

BEAST PAPYRUSES:

* Shamrock/Beasttale Papyrus ' The Friendly Beta ' -

SNAKE SANSES:

* Charcoal/Snaketale Sans ' The chubby snake ' -

* Leather/Snakeswapfell Sans ' The territorial snake ' -

* Grease/Snakefell Sans ' The aggressive snake ' -

* Aquila/Outersnake sans ' the dreamy snake ' -

* Walnut/Snakeswap Sans ' The cheerful snake' -

* Crow/Dustsnake Sans ' the homicidal snake ' -

* Lapis/Altersnake sans  -

SIREN SANSES:

* Seafoam/Sirentale Sans ' The human-hating siren ' -

* Ocean/Sirenswap Sans ' The selfish siren ' -

* Seaweed/Sirenswapfell sans  -

---

REAPER SANSES:

* Hades/Reapertale Sans - 

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