#I am so incredibly tired so I'm sorry if this is bad | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

nereidprinc3ss · 2 months

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light of the morning

in which spencer sneaks into bau!reader's hotel room and they share a little more than just the bed

18+ (smut) warnings/tags: softdom!spence x sub reader, munch!spence, unprotected piv sex (dont do that), creampie (hate that word btw) praise, mentions of having to be quiet because morgan is right next door LOL, fluffy, established co-workers/friends with benefits, soooo idiots in love a/n: here is the promised smut. i am literally kicking my feet and twirling my hair and giggling and blushing at my own writing. I'm gonna have a freak out. requests are open like my legs

It’s late when the knock finally comes. Late enough that you’re dozing on the bed above the covers.

It takes you a moment to reorient yourself—you’re rubbing your heavy eyes when you finally get the door.

"Hi."

"Hey," says Spencer, hands awkwardly shoved into his pajama pants pockets. It’s funny, really. He never gets any better at this.

You step aside and he enters the room, looking around as you close and relock the door.

"Did I wake you?"

"How could you tell?"

"You’re in pajamas. And you look tired. I mean—you don’t look bad. You never look bad, I just meant… you don’t look tired but you’re not—I didn’t mean to—"

"Relax," you yawn, putting him out of his misery. "I was joking. I know I look tired." You glance at the digital clock on the nightstand. "It’s late. We have to be up early tomorrow."

"Yeah, I got, uh, sidetracked. Sorry."

He was reading. If it was anyone else, you'd be offended--but a sinkhole could open up under Spencer's feet and he probably wouldn't notice if he was absorbed in a book.

You shrug, a knowing smile lifting the corner of your mouth.

"It’s fine. But I don’t know if tonight is a good night. I really am exhausted."

His eyebrows dart up.

"That’s fine. That’s totally fine. I’ll just, uh—"

When you don’t move from in front of the door, he pauses, unsure. You bite the inside of your cheek, studying his rangy frame and choice of clothing. Blue pajama pants, slippers, grey CalTech zip up hoodie. It feels wrong to describe a 6'1 man as adorable, but that’s how he looks in his sleep clothes. There’s a very real chance, you find yourself thinking, that you are the only member of the BAU to ever see him in something other than slacks and a button-down. He looks so cozy that you kind of really want him in your bed even if he’s not doing anything but sleeping. The invitation slips out before you can think too hard about it.

"You could… stay, anyway, if you want?"

His mouth parts slightly, and those eyebrows raise again. There’s a moment of awkward silence and you are very much beginning to regret your offer, wondering if you somehow violated the sanctity of your co-workers/friends with benefits situtationship. Clumsily you try to backtrack.

"Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, you can—"

"No, no! You didn’t, I just don’t want you to feel obligated to invite me to stay in your room. I’m right across the hall, I can go back if you want me to."

You smile awkwardly, silent relief replacing the brief anxiety.

"It’s fine. It’s not like we haven’t shared a bed before." And not like you wouldn’t have ended up doing it tonight anyway, if things had gone as originally intended.

He chuckles, looking to the floor and nodding. The blush on his face does not go unnoticed by you. "Fair enough."

It’s incredibly endearing how nervous he still gets after six months of this little arrangement.

"Do you wanna get your stuff, or…"

"No, that’s okay. I’ll just go back early tomorrow. The chances of someone seeing me leave your room are significantly higher if I do it so soon after entering."

You squint, unable to tell if he’s fucking with you or if that’s an actual statistically sound probability. And then you realize, blissfully, that you don’t really care.

"Okay, well. Make yourself comfortable. I’m just going to brush my teeth."

Once you’re enclosed in the bathroom, hotel vanity lights blinding you as you brush, you find that there is a jittery sort of apprehension buzzing in your chest. But that’s silly. As you yourself pointed out, the two of you have shared a bed many times over the past few months. But the sleeping together is always a byproduct of the sleeping together. Never have you shared a bed in a completely decent, virtuous, strictly non-sexual manner. It’s always been a matter of convenience—less bother if he doesn’t have to worry about sneaking back into his room in the middle of the night when you’re both exhausted. Or maybe that’s just what you’ve been telling yourselves.

You rinse your mouth out and exit the bathroom, flicking off the light and finding that Spencer has indeed made himself comfortable. The hotel room is dark and he’s already under the covers, fiddling with his phone.

"What time should I set the alarm for?" He asks, looking over at you as you crawl into bed, drawing the covers over yourself. "I was thinking 6:23. That should give me enough time to—"

"Sounds perfect," you affirm, wiggling under the blanket as you get comfortable. He schedules the alarm and sets his phone on the bedside table, dousing the room in complete darkness. Your eyes stay open despite, waiting for them to adjust. A few moments of utter silence and stillness pass, and you can tell Spencer is completely stiff next to you.

"Spencer."

“Yeah,” he answers immediately. Like he’s even more wired about this whole situation than you are.

"You know you don’t have to avoid touching me at all costs, right? I’m not a leper."

He looses a nervous laugh.

"I know. We’ve just never really done this."

You frown at the darkness.

"We’ve definitely slept in the same bed before."

"Yeah, but… this feels different."

That, you can’t argue with. Can friends with benefits share a bed just to be near each other? Does that blur some line? And why does it feel more intimate than the sex?

Screw it. If there is one thing you don’t want your relationship with Spencer to be, it is uncomfortable. Uncertain, you can work with. But not uncomfortable. You reach for him, hand sliding under the duvet—and find his hand already waiting for yours.

"I don’t think it’s that different," you lie, interlacing your fingers together slowly.

"Prolonged physical non-sexual contact does have measurable health benefits…" the words are murmured, like the moment is fragile and he doesn’t want to shatter it.

"Can’t argue with the facts," you breathe, trying to modulate the shakiness of your voice. But you have a feeling you’re doing about as good of a job at concealing your nerves as he is. He shifts.

"Can I…"

"Yeah."

Your heart is pounding as he slips one arm under your neck and the other around your waist, pulling you close. Instinctually you curl into him, slinging your top leg over him as you’ve done before, but always dismissed as post-sex brain chemicals making you feel all warm and fuzzy. A neurological reaction that is so solidly scientific, neither of you ever questioned it. But it feels bigger now.

He exhales as you settle against each other—a sound of relief that mirrors your own. He’s so warm, so safe as he envelops you, physically and sensorially. In such close proximity, so clear-headed, you notice each layer of his scent. Toothpaste, lavender, vetiver, detergent. You sort of feel like a creep, but you can’t deny how comforting it is. Nor can you deny the pirouette your heart does when he begins minutely rubbing your back, like he’s not even thinking about it.

"Goodnight," you whisper into his shirt.

"Goodnight," he whispers back.

You fall asleep pretty quickly after that.

------------------------------

It’s unclear what wakes you up—maybe it’s the blue-grey dawn light filtering in through the filthy window (doubtful, it’s still mostly dark) or maybe it’s the blinking green digital clock on the nightstand. 5:02 AM. Your alarm will go off in an hour and 21 minutes.

Sometime in the night you shifted, turning over in your sleep, but Spencer is still holding you close. The arm slung so casually over your waist is slightly domineering, but you manage to rotate again and face him once more. Mere inches away from his face you can see every detail. His expression is so peaceful, it makes your heart ache.

But you’re just friends.

Perhaps he felt you moving, because his eyes flutter open and you watch as they flood with consciousness. He takes you in, takes in his arm over your waist. For a split second you’re nervous he’ll pull away.

"What time is it?" His voice is scratchy with sleep.

"Five."

"Why are you awake? We have over an hour til the alarm goes off."

"Sometimes waking up early is okay."

His eyes flicker between your own, and momentarily you’re paralyzed as you realize this is a limbo state for the two of you in which you’ve never operated. You don’t know what’s acceptable. You don’t know what to do. Being close to him feels so good, that the idea of separating hurts. But you don’t want to make him uncomfortable, or—

He leans forward and kisses you softly. In the blue light of dawn, rather than frenzied and hidden in the dark, a desperate tear of clothes and teeth and hands—it’s almost freeing. All the anxiety you were feeling just seconds ago begins to melt.

Friends.

"You looked anxious," is his whispered answer after he pulls away a moment later, like a kiss is the simplest remedy in the world. He brushes a lock of hair behind your ear. "We should go back to sleep."

"I don’t want to go back to sleep."

The corner of his mouth twitches as he studies you.

"No? What do you want?"

Emboldened by your mutual indiscretion, it’s your turn to kiss him. You feel him smile against your lips, hand finding the back of your neck and raking up through your hair to pull you closer.

The delirium of sleep seems to have softened you, filed down the rough edges of your boundaries and kicked away the lines in the sand. What’s a kiss or two when you’ve just woken up? A small, innocuous display of affection while you’re still barely conscious. Nobody could fault either of you for that. People don’t think clearly when they’ve just been asleep.

So what if your lips part against his, and his other hand finds its way under your shirt to stroke the bare skin of your waist and hips? So what if you hitch that leg over him again and press closer?

Spencer breaks the kiss, still ghosting over your lips.

"I thought it wasn’t a good night?"

"It’s not night time anymore, is it, genius?"

You sneak another kiss, nipping his bottom lip gently as you pull away.

Instead of whatever array of responses you were expecting, Spencer smiles slightly, eyes almost sparkling in the faint light. The hand on your hip moves to your face, gently thumbing across your cheek. He begins to say something, and stops himself—biting his lip to hold back the words.

"What?" you ask, heart dropping. Illusion fracturing.

"I was just—" he begins, pausing for a moment before the words all come out in a rush. "I was just going to tell you how beautiful you are, but I don’t know if that’s something I should say, or if it would feel too… I don’t know…"

He trails off. A rare instance in which he doesn’t have the words.

You do. Intimate. Real. Romantic. And he’s right, it does feel too much like all of those things. But that doesn’t mean you don’t like it, perhaps more than is strictly good for you.

"It’s fine. Thank you."

He continues chewing on his lip for a moment.

"Did I just ruin the mood?"

"No," you laugh, "not at all."

"Thank god," he sighs, surging forward again.

"Since when do you thank god?" You manage between kisses.

He moves to press his lips to your jaw and down your neck.

"Do you want me to talk about the historical and cultural transition of religious expressions into ubiquitous secular colloquialisms right now?"

"Kind of," you breathe.

"No you don’t," he murmurs against your neck as his hands find the hem of your shirt. "You want me to take your clothes off."

Well, he’s not wrong there.

You help him tug the shirt over your head before leaning back into the pillows as he situates himself over you and lavishes more kisses down your neck and collarbones, pausing to suck a mark only when he knows it’s low enough to be covered by your clothing later.

You gasp when his lips brush over your nipple, before running his tongue over the sensitive skin. He glances up at you, and though his mouth is occupied, you can see the humor in his eyes. He loves how sensitive you are—how easy it is to get a reaction out of you.

Of course, you continue to prove him right when he takes the other into his mouth, trying to hold back your little whimpers as he darts his tongue over the peak. Maybe somebody else wouldn’t hear them, but Spencer does. He’s hyper attuned to the sounds you make. Something of a catalogue has begun to form in the back of his mind; he knows exactly what each noise means and how to get them out of you.

Once satisfied, he moves to press a kiss to your sternum.

"You’re gonna be quiet for me, right?" Another kiss above your bellybutton. "Because Morgan is sleeping right on the other side of that wall, and we don’t want to wake him up."

"I’ll be quiet," you promise, somewhat breathlessly. Spencer’s mouth trails lower until he’s pulling your shorts down your legs, leaving you completely naked. He tosses them somewhere on the floor and hooks your legs over his shoulders.

"Good." He plants one last kiss to your thigh and the next one lands right between your legs.

You regret the need to be silent almost as soon as he drags his tongue over your clit. It’s not like the two of you have ever had the privilege of making a lot of noise, as the hotel rooms are always so close to each other, but it doesn’t make it any easier.

Instead you opt to rake your hands through his hair and try to take deep breaths. But he knows exactly what you like—he knows starting light and slow, teasing around your most sensitive spot will work you up to the brink of insanity, just like he knows gentle circles make your back arch and elicit the prettiest little moans.

"More," you beg, and the hands wrapped around your thighs rub soothingly, reassuring you that if you can just be patient you’ll get what you want.

He takes your aching clit into his mouth, sucking lightly and you’re forced to clap a hand over your mouth, muffling the sob of pleasure you can’t hold back. Spencer keeps it up until you’re practically riding his face, teasing your dripping entrance with the tip of his tongue when you get too close.

"Fuck, please, Spence," you whisper through your fingers, hips rutting in your desperation. Somehow it always ends up like this—with him in charge and you begging. Not that you have a problem with it, of course.

He hums into you, and if the way his tongue moves back to circling your clit with newfound fervor is any indication, is apparently satisfied with your entreaty.

You gasp and try to control your breathy moans, but his mouth feels so good on you that your vision is going out and you’re losing touch with reality ever so slightly. You use the last of your brain power to bite down on the back of your wrist, hoping it adequately muffles the noises you make as you come on Spencer’s tongue and he greedily continues lapping at you. There’s really no way of knowing—your ears are ringing anyway.

When you come to a moment later he’s peppering kisses on your thighs, rubbing your hips gently.

"So pretty," he murmurs, climbing back up so your lips can meet again. "Everything about you is pretty."

You paw at his shirt, signaling that you want it off as you moan at the taste of yourself on his tongue, feel your slippery arousal staining the kiss. Spencer helps you, sitting up briefly to unzip his hoodie and pull off his shirt.

You’re the one to drag him back down, and you notice that he pulls the covers back over the both of you in a sweet gesture he probably didn’t even think about.

"Need you to fuck me," you beg, reaching down to try and undress him further.

"So crude. What happened to my nice, sweet girl?" He mumbles against your neck, but helps you with his pants anyway.

"You must have me confused with someone else."

"Doubtful."

You don’t have much time to consider what that could mean before he’s running the head of his cock over your clit and you’re gasping into his mouth, saying please like it’s the only word you know.

"There she is," Spencer croons, slipping inside you slow enough for you to feel every inch but quick enough for it to expel all the air from your lungs. Once he’s opened you all the way up, impossibly deep and close, you’re seeing stars, barely breathing. His head has dropped to your shoulder but now he drags his lips up your neck and jaw. "We okay?"

It’s been a while, you realize, since that last case in Maine. He always takes some getting used to. Hardly able to think around the pressure of his cock you nod, trying to string together a few words.

"Fuck, I need a second." The words come out choked, but you manage. Spencer rubs your hip, his lips brushing yours as he speaks.

"Relax, sweetheart. I don’t want to hurt you."

He curses to himself, dropping his head momentarily. You’re so fucking soft, and warm, and perfect, he can’t think straight. But he has to try because he has to take care of you.

"Spence," you gasp, failing to verbally communicate the intensity of the physical sensation.

"I know, baby," comes his sympathetic coo. "You know you can take me. Deep breaths."

"Mhm," you squeak, trying to take follow his directions and soften your muscles. Spencer keeps rubbing soothingly over your hips, stomach, whatever he can get his hands on, really, pressing kisses all over your face and telling you how good you are, how perfect you feel for him. After a few moments he feels you fluttering around him and experimentally pulls out halfway, before pushing back in equally as slowly. Your jaw drops as he begins to leisurely fuck you, arms wrapping around his back. He gets deeper than you expect every time, rubbing you raw and stretching you out in the most delicious way.

"Perfect, baby. Such a good listener, did exactly what I asked."

You cry out when he begins fucking you impossibly deeper, but still so slow and sweet.

"You feel so fucking good for me," he groans. "This is what you were made for, huh?" You agree enthusiastically, eyes fluttering shut.

"Only for you."

Just three words—but he wasn’t expecting to like hearing you say that as much as he does. A strong desire to possess you overtakes him—one that he’ll probably have the decency to feel guilty about later, but for now feels fucking fantastic and intoxicating.

"Only me?"

You moan an affirmation.

"Good. I don’t want anyone else fucking you, do you understand me?"

"Yes!"

"I’m the only one who gets to touch you," he breathes, speeding up ever so slightly, "nobody else is going to feel you like this. Such a good girl, spreading her legs for me at five in the fucking morning. You’re not doing this for anybody else, baby."

"Uh-uh, please, pleasepleaseplease Spence—"

He knows what you need, reaching a hand down between your bodies to rub your clit.

You gasp an airy, high pitched curse, hips twitching but unable to escape the near-punishing rhythm of his own. It’s obvious that your orgasm is close, but you can’t even warn him, too overwhelmed with pleasure. He kisses you, swallowing your moans that have probably become just a bit too loud given the whole hotel thing.

No words are exchanged between the two of you as you near the finish line for a change, open mouths slipping against each others in what is too messy to be called a kiss. Your orgasm body-slams you, a choked silent scream as you tighten around Spencer and he seems to come at nearly the exact same moment—deep inside you, slowly rolling his hips in a few more strong thrusts as he finishes.

You let out a delayed moan at the sensation of being filled up, still pulsing around him as he comes to a halt, buried inside of you. He drops his head to your neck, and you can feel each breath against your flushed skin. Other than the panting, you’re both silent for a while. Spencer seems to gather himself sooner than you do, finally breaking the quiet.

"You okay?"

All you can manage is a little squeak, at which he looses a breathy chuckle. His hand slides to your hip, gently stroking the skin with a thumb.

"Need your words, angel girl."

"I’m okay," you coo into his shoulder, but he has to strain to hear it above his own breathing.

"Yeah? Why so quiet?"

But it seems that at least for the moment, he’s gotten all the words he can out of you. When he tries to move, you whimper indignantly, clutching onto him tighter.

"I really did a number on you this time, huh?" He laughs when you nod into him. "Are you falling asleep?"

"Mhm," you hum dreamily, little puffs of warm air slowing against his neck.

"You can have…" he cranes his head to check the digital clock, "48 minutes."

"An hour."

He settles his weight on you once more, pressing a chaste kiss to your throat. His voice is low and gentle as he admonishes you.

"I said 48 minutes."

But it doesn’t matter—you’re already asleep, or close enough to it. Spencer takes the opportunity to shift you to your side, and the way you wrap around him like a vine even unconsciously makes his heart ache. He really should go now—the earlier he gets out of your room the less likely certain complications will arise—but how can he possibly leave you like this? A vulnerable, dreamy girl with tangled hair haloing around her on the pillow case, clinging to him with blind trust that he’ll watch over her as she sleeps? No—there’s no way he’s leaving yet. Instead, he brings you closer. 48 perfect minutes will go by far too quickly, he’s sure.

#criminal minds #spencer reid #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid fic #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x self insert #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #spencer reid smut #criminal minds smut

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theghostofashton · 2 years

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#the past like two and a half weeks have just been job interview after job interview editorial test after editorial test #and i've been stuck in this permanent anxiety loop where i'm nauseous and shaky all the time and i can't relax ever #and it's just been fucking exhausting like i am so tired #and this recruiter emailed me last night after i had an interview yesterday saying i have my last one today and just #i got rejected from something i really wanted yesterday #and this job i'm interviewing rn i also really want like this is the dream the people are so wonderful the books are incredible #i want it so bad i'm so scared to fuck it up lol #fuck up the interview fuck up my chances whatever #it's just been like. the past few months have been hell and i want this to work so bad #i'm someone who hates change but i am begging for it rn i want my life to change #and i feel good about this but i also don't bc i can never trust my gut my anxiety is too bad for that #i just want things to work i want things to stop being hard i want the universe to do me this solid #also yeah this is why my fic hasn't been updated in a while i'm sorry lol #my life feels like an emotional rollercoaster atm and i just do not have the energy #all i've been doing other than panicking is watching lone star and feverishly reading fics like i don't feel like a person anymore lol #i want this interview to be over but i also just want to do well #idk what this is im just. i feel gross and i have to figure myself out so i can do this lol #delete later

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not-magdi · 2 months

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"Be my Valentine?"

Warnings: none :)

Summary: Lando surprises you on Valentine's Day.

Word Count: 1k

Reading Time: 4min 12sec

A/N

I am so sorry for not updating again, but life has been really stressful lately. I sadly can't promise you that it is going to be better a school is about to start again but I'll try.

Love y'all Magdi <3

February 13th, tomorrow is Valentine's Day, and you just ended a call with Lando, who was currently in Barcelona testing the new car. When he first told you he would be away for the 14th, disappointment and sadness were the only emotions you felt.

Valentine's has been your favourite holiday since you were a little girl. It didn't matter if you had somebody or not. The pink hearts everywhere, the smell of roses in the air, and people all around being in love made it so special for you.

And for two years, you got to spend Valentine's with the love of your life, Lando Norris. Although every day was special with Lando, he always made extra efforts for the 14th, such as preparing breakfast in bed, presenting flowers in a rainbow of colours, and gifting sparkling jewellery.

So, him not being here home with you this year crushed your spirits for tomorrow completely. Lando felt incredibly bad when he found out when the tests were, but nothing prepared him for how the spark in your eyes disappeared when he told you.

Guilt was eating him up the entire trip to Barcelona. Even Oscar noticed and asked what was up.

------

After you hung up with Lando, you decided to cuddle yourself up on your couch and do some self-care while watching some nineties rom-com.

You knew it wasn't Lando's fault he didn't have a say in when the testing was going to be, but you were still really disappointed he couldn't be with you.

------

Your stiff back and sore neck were the result of you falling asleep on the couch yesterday. The TV was still running when you decided to get up and make yourself breakfast.

The second you unlock your phone, you are bombarded with posts of couples enjoying Valentine's Day together.

Letting out an annoyed huff, you throw your phone on the couch and decide to take a shower, wanting to escape all that valentines crap for a bit.

Afterwards, you felt way more refreshed and optimistic for the day. So you decided to throw on some of your favourite jeans and your most flattering top and head outside to the centre of Monaco.

------

You spend your whole day wandering through Monaco, strolling through a few shops and taking a few breaks in some cafes. And even though you were still a bit mad at Lando, an addition to Lando's Valentine's present made its way into your bag.

Your mood improved gradually throughout the day, but not hearing anything from Lando made it hard to stay positive. You texted him, "goodmorning ❤️" to show him you were not ignoring or mad at him.

He reacted to your message, but it has been complete silence since then. You thought that maybe he was too busy, as he told you that today would be the media day, but not hearing anything from him hurt you were not going to lie.

------

And you were indeed correct in your assumption. Lando was incredibly busy today but not giving interviews and making content. No, he tried to convince Zak to let him fly home earlier today so he could spend some more time with you.

"Oh, come on. Please Zak, I'm done with all my stuff, for what do you even need me here?" Lando begged his boss, quite desperate to let him fly home.

Zak looked at him with a slightly tired expression. "Do you really have to fly home. I mean it's just Valentine's day."

Lando tried to put on his best puppy dog eyes. "It's really important for Y/N. I can't do that to her."

That seemed to do the trick, as Lando is currently on a plane home to Monaco. He spent the whole flight on his phone, trying to make the time go by faster. A smile made its way onto his face when he saw you posted a photo of you sitting in one of your favourite cafes, enjoying the sun.

He felt so incredibly guilty after your call yesterday, already forming a plan for how he can make it up to you.

------

The second he touched the ground again, he immediately rushed to your favourite florist to get you the biggest bouquet of sunflowers he could find.

The friendly old lady who runs the shop smiles as she sees Lando entering. You also visited her today, telling her your dilemma while buying a bouquet of pink tulips.

So seeing Lando buying your favourite flowers made her happy for you, knowing you weren't spending the day alone anymore.

------

You just came home from your trip, putting the flowers you bought in a vase and starting to make yourself some dinner.

You were about to start eating when you heard the doorbell ring. Confused, you make your way to the front door. Looking through your peephole, you rip the door open in excitement.

You couldn't believe your eyes when you saw your boyfriend standing before you. Well, you could barely see him between all those sunflowers. But what you could see. Was his adorable smile while he held a pink sign saying, "Be my valentine?"

Rushing over to him, you tackled him in the biggest teddybear-hug, burying your face in his neck.

"Hi baby." Kissing your head, Lando wraps one arm around you, squeezing you tight.

"How-when, why are you here?"

Chuckling slightly at your confusion, Lando answers, "Well I couldn't leave my girl alone on Valentine's now, can I? Besides, Zak couldn't withstand my puppy-dog-eyes."

Laughing, you tilt your head, giving Lando a loving kiss while murmuring a sincere "I love you" against his lips.

"Mhm, I love you too, baby."

------

After standing in your hallway like two teenagers, you ushered Lando inside, not letting go of his hand, wanting to have him near you all the time.

You were now cuddling on the couch, your wrist decorated with a new bracelet, a sparkling "L" adorning its front.

Lando broke the comfortable silence you two were basking in, "You didn't answer my question from earlier."

You look up at him, confused. "What do you mean?"

Wrapping his arms tighter around you, he says, "Will you be my Valentine?"

Laughing, you take his face to kiss him, "Yes, Lando, I'd love to be your Valentine."

------

Don't forget to leave a note if you enjoyed it, feedback is always welcome !!❤️

#lando norris x y/n #lando norris oneshot #lando norris fanfic #lando norris x reader #lando norris imagine #lando norris #formula 1 #mclaren #f1 x reader

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spideysbruh · 4 months

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anniversary

a post from every year on their anniversay 🩷🩷

year one-

tchalamet just posted a story!

caption- one year 😳🩷

liked by tchalamet and 100,177 others

y/n so elated, I'm a happy girl 🩷

view all 9,176 comments

randocalrissian happy era !!!

yourfriend !!!!

tchalamet 🩷🩷

year two-

liked by y/n, sabrinacarpenter and 2,177,612 others

tchalamet two years with the love of my life. I know I'll love you forever.

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chalshal this soft launch is killing me oh my goddd

dunesarrakis it's @y/n they like each other's posts and she's been seen out with him and even Pauline so much !!

paulstimmy I'm fine... im sooo fine and so chill about this😁😁😁....😭😭😭😭🔫🔫🔫

y/n upgraded to an insta post this year lets gooo

liked by tchalamet

tchalamet only many more to come

cinderellayn what's next year? marriage 🤔🤔🤭🤭

rachelzegler happy two years guys !!! love you both 🫶

y/n and tchalamet liked

liked by tchalamet, madisonbeer and 324,287 others

y/n two years of doing silly little things with you, my beautiful boy.

view all 97,711 comments

badideayn BEAUTIFUL BOY 😭😭😭🫶🫶

arrakischalamet OMFGGGG

kylestimmy BRO I KNEW ITTTT

tchalamet I love you

year three-

liked by y/n, taylorswift, ayoedebiri and 4,565,655 others

tchalamet loving you is the biggest fucking privilege in the world. I feel sorry for every person that doesn't get to know you and be loved by you. it's the best feeling. I love you, y/n. happy anniversary, baby.

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chalsharry sooooo happy for you guys 😁😁 (I am going to kms over this)

timotheesknees they are too cute oh my word

y/n sobbing. thank you my love

liked by tchalamet

tchalamet no, thank YOU

kylescigarette the caption... I need a bf sooooo bad

tsgf damn she ugly

bonestimmy damn you're a weirdo

ynscurtains hottest couple ever me thinks

liked by tchalamet, rachelzegler and 432,277 others

y/n three years 😳 I love you more than words can express. thank you for loving me, walking with me in the freezing cold cause I need a snack, and for putting up with me and my random fun facts. I love you forever, timmy.

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especiallytimothee THE WAY THE SECOND PICS IN BOTH OF THEIR POSTS MATCH OMGGG

duneschalamet THE SECOND PIC 💀💀💀💀 lucky girl fr...

timmyslay the last pic LOLL he's so cute

ynsgirlfriend oh to hear her random fun facts

timmyynstan obsessed w their posts about each other

tchalamet I could never get tired of you or your fun facts, your knowledge astounds me every time.

liked by y/n

sunshinetimmy I'm literally so lonely

year four-

liked by y/n, zendaya, dylanminnette and 4,228,277 others

tchalamet four years with my muse. I love you mon amour. i love how much you support me in everything I do, and give me guidance when I need it (your candor is much appreciated) I knew when we first met and you made me laugh harder than anyone else ever has that you were gonna change my life, and that you were the girl of my dreams. happy anniversary my lovely girl.

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wonkatimmy WHEN WILL SOMEBODY LOVE ME🤣🤣🤣

timmysgf manifesting they break up soon 🙏🏼

arrakisyn HE AINT GONNA DATE YOU 🗣🗣

dunepaul y/n is too beautiful I swearrr

y/n 🥺🥺🥺 I love you hottie

tchalamet liked

liked by tchalamet, sabrinacarpenter and 664,616 others

y/n happy anniversary my darling boy, you make me feel like the most loved girl in the world. I am so lucky and so grateful and so incredibly elated to be with you.

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tchalamet you ARE the most loved girl in the world

liked by y/n

wallowsyn I wonder how many pics she has of him that we'll never see...

tsgf she's definitely not the most loved... idk a single person irl that knows her or even likes her LOL

laurieslaurence yall are too cuteeee I swear

tchalamet I love you.

year five-

liked by y/n, yourfriend, florencepugh and 6,777,717 others

tchalamet happy five years, my love. i don't know how i survived before i met you. every day with you is a dream. I love that I'm still learning new things about you.

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florencepugh you guyssss are the best couple I swear

tchalamet and y/n liked

timmysbath I look forward to their anniversay posts every year

tsgf well they're gonna break up soon according to the celeb gossip accounts so say goodbye to that

laurieslaurence girl where did you hear that LMAOO just so delusional I swear

paulstimmy "celeb gossip sites" just say its from your own head and go

y/n 🥺🥺 being with you is the best thing to ever happen to me

tchalamet liked

wonkaswhore THE LAST PICCC OMGGG 😳😳

liked by tchalamet, calahlane, rachelzegler and 998,717 others

y/n I'll forever be your own personal photographer. whether a cannibal, chocolatier, or the heir of house atreides, i'm with you for as long as you'll have me. happy anniversary my lovely, talented, beautiful, sweet boy.

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moderntimmy a cannibal 😭😭 she's a bones and all stan fr

y/n hell yeah best movie ever!! I watch it when I miss him 💀💀

liked by tchalamet

tchalamet how does forever sound?

y/n liked

paulsdunes I LOVE YALL SO MUCHHH

floralyn HE'S SO CUTEEEE IMMA KMS

tchalamet I love you so badddd good lord

y/n liked

floralyn hes so in loveee 😭😭

year six-

liked by y/n, tomholland2013, zendaya and 10,177,717 comments

tchalamet happy six years, my fiancé.

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ynandtimstan CRYINGGG can't believe they're engaged now I'm so happy for them

dunestimmy I ❤️ my parents

lauriexamy that one account is kicking the ground fr

y/n ummmm where's my paragraph this year? 🙄

tchalamet liked

tchalamet being written down for my vows, where's mine? 🤔

liked by tchalamet, sabrinacarpenter and 1,981,876 others

y/n this time next year we'll be husband and wife. I don't know what I did in a past life to deserve this, but I'm sooo fucking grateful. I love you my fiancé!!!!

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yourfriend wedding of the century!!!

liked by y/n

lauriesring god I wish I was friends with them

tchalamet okay you said you wouldnt post that last one !!!

y/n I never said that! you're just so cuteeeeee, bub !!!!!

rachelzegler when are we going dress shoppinggggg

liked by y/n

tchalamet I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you.

#timothee chalamet #timothee chalamet fanfiction #timothee chalamet imagine #timothee chalamet x reader #timothee imagine #timothee x reader #timothée chalamet #timothee chalamet au #timothee chalamet social media au #timothee chalamet x you #timmy chalamet #timothee fanfic #social media au

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pearl-tarotist · 10 months

Text

🌸 Messages from your future spouse 🌸

{I have not touched my tarot cards in weeks but lately I have had an urge to make this Pac}. Your future spouse wants to communicate with you about something.

PILE 1

Honey,

I have finally done it...I have surpassed the obstacles and I have reached my goals, but I find myself with palms full of time. The hours that I used to work on them have fallen over me like a weight. What must I do now?

I am content and happy due to my victory but also tired, so I need to rest and recover some energy...but between rests and naps, I can just think of you, my dear future spouse. I can just think about having someone that I can hold in my hands... instead of this void and meaningless empty hand. Something is awaking on me, the need to have someone that I could take care of, someone that I could spend my time with. I have suddenly been dreaming about you...not you as someone with bones and skin but fantasizing about your laugh and your warmness and the softness of your skin when sleeping in the same bed. At my side. I want that close intimacy that one can just get when falling in love.

I have changed because now I want you ...does it sound bad? The idea that I did not want you before? I'm sorry, I don't think I was even aware of this void inside of me while working. I don't know... I just want to hold you and not let you go. I want to kiss your hand and hold your face against my chest... can you listen to my heartbeat?

I am just so ready for this new adventure...not even and adventure if I am being honest. I am just ready for you...and eager too. From one day to other all my focus has changed to your needs. I am ready not just for a relationship but for a life companion...I am ready to bathe you in tenderness and love.

God, I want to fall in love with you so much. Please, come soon. I am waiting for you. Excuse my eagerness and my selfishness but, have you been feeling our connection lately or have you been thinking about me too? Do not say you have not or you will break my heart.

Eagerly waiting for you,

Comments: this man/woman woke up once with an extreme need on their chest. They are full of love and they are waiting for you. I guess this is what they wanted to tell you, that they are ready to commit and take care of you. Some of them want to call you baby, honey, darling, mi amor, amore mio...all type of petnames, but overall they want to pronounce your name so badly but they are unaware of it. They miss you already 😭. I could have keep writing about their feeling for the next 3 days because their feeling are intense but I cannot do that or...should I?

Temperance/ 9 of wands/ 7 of Cups / Wheel of fortune/ 4-3 of wands

PILE 2

I'm confident in us. I have enough trust in the world to know that I will find you, that they will put someone as perfect as you for me. I believe that the world will help us and will put us in the same path and even if they do not...I will search for you. For someone as graceful, nurturing and beautiful as you are.

Lately, things have been going well, I have found some sense of peace and harmony inside of me...I am ready for new adventures, for new people and a new love, that's you bb, ;). I am in an ambitious mode, it feels as if I had the energy to fight against dragons and monsters just to get to you, my princess and my queen. (your fs could call you a princess but see you as a queen).

I do not want to lie, you could think I am a bit of a playboy first as my jokes and flirting could be unoriginal or predictable but I just want you so much that I become of one of those stereotyped knights, just to get to you. What can I do to earn your interest? In those movies the knights were doing incredible conquests, saving kingdoms, being so flirty and sarcastic that the queen can just laugh about it... I want us to became those fantastic and romantic stories, wouldn't you like it?

I mean...you are just like a queen. You are nurturing, clever, beautiful, intuitive...It feels as if you could see everything about me at just one glance with those beautiful eyes of yours and I feel so...naked and seen. Sometimes, I think I'm just not enough so I just want to keep entertaining you with these quests even when it looks dumb from outside. Is it bad that I want you to just keep your attention on me?

I'm persistent, sarcastic and not scared to speak my mind...what a bad combination. I am just lucky and in love with you so much to hope that it is enough.

Always yours to serve you,

The Star/ Knight of Wands/ Queen of cups/pentacles /Knight of Cups/ Strength

PILE 3

From outside it seems that I have everything, as if my life was perfect...I am self-sufficient, I have people to dine with, people to dance with, friends that I can call and family that I spend time with but...I'm not that confident.

Inside of me, I have this recurrent doubt and insecurity....I am still young, I am still learning...I don't want to keep myself into the jail of the known. It seems foolish to some to change my lifestyle and comfortable routine when for some it is to everything they aspire to in life, but is it really that good?

I don't know if the people I involve myself with are the best. Are they trustworthy? Generous? Good people? I don't know.

That's why I think about you, my little ghost, you are present with me when I think about the future. I know we will be good to each other, we both will be young, we will learn about everything with time, patience and love. I have no doubts that we will grow wealthy, healthy and clever.

I think I am allowed to dream when I feel so much for us. Isn't it good that we will grow together and stablish our own bases? We won't copy others, we will be irreversibly us. And that's why I appreciate you so much.

I love you, take care.

10 of Wands/ 9 of Swords/The Moon/ page and knight of pentacles

This reading belongs to @pearl-tarotist.

#pac #future spouse pac #love pac #tarot #tarot reading #love tarot reading #future spouse reading #love #tarot cards #pick a card #pick a photo #pick a pile

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barcalover86 · 4 months

Text

Unreal nightmare - Gavi

Summary: "How can I learn to live without you when you taught me how to be alive"

"Your relationship was a private one, and we didn't really get to see you two a lot. How was she?" one of the reporters asked.

Pablo chuckled a bit.

"She was so fearless." he started. "Energetic and chaotic kind of girl, you know. Wherever she was, she would bring the light after her. You couldn't feel sad or hopeless around her."

"She seemed like a really nice person."

"Yes, because she was."

Pablo had to stop because he knew that if he would say one more word, he was going to cry. He hated the tight feeling inside his neck.

The older man comforted the boy, putting one of his hands on Gavi's shoulder, while massaging it.

After a few seconds, Pablo continued.

"Before I met her, I only found happiness in winning. But she taught me to enjoy the process, to be thankful that I am healthy and that I have a house where I can sleep and that I have a really loving family that supports me."

"That's so kind of her."

"Yes, she was really kind. To everyone."

He smiled sadly while thinking about you.

"So tell us, Gavi. What happened? One day, she was out there cheering your name, and the next one, we found out that she had passed away? How come?"

The boy started to tear up. His hands reached his face, not wanting to let the world see his pain.

Everyone felt so sorry for him. They all knew how much he loved you and how happy you had made him.

"Just one day, she started scratching all over her body. We were all really confused especially when her eyes got yellow."

"Oh.."

"Yeah.. such a bad memory. Well, then we got her quickly to the hospital, and we stayed there for about 5-6 hours to get her a doctor. She then started to be in so much pain."

"She was having some allergy?"

"I hoped so, but she was not. We found out that she had liver cancer."

"I'm really sorry, Gavi-"

"We took her to the best doctor, but it was all too much for her and after only 1 month of being in the hospital, they let her home for the 'she better dies home with her family, rather than alone' kinda reason".

"But.. After only 1 month, it was that crucial??"

"Liver cancer is extremely dangerous and painful. It expands incredibly fast."

"And she was staying at your house while you just had to pretend that everything was fine... to not worry the people around you."

"Something like that, yes. But our families were there to help me out with her. As I said before, everyone loved her."

"How did she die?"

"She lived more than any doctor said she would. But God.. she looked so different and drained. Even at her worst, she was asking for everyone's health" Gavi laughed a bit.

The reporter smiled.

"I don't know if it was bad or if I'm thankful that she died in my arms.."

"Oh, Gavi-"

"Don't start, please," he once again teared up. "I just don't understand why she had to suffer like that when she was the most angelic person that I've met. She was so, so young.."

"How old was she?"

"17."

A loud silence acapared the room.

No one knew what to say in these situations.

--------------‐---------------------‐---------------------‐------

"Gavi, go to sleep! Tomorrow you have a big game and you have to be rested."

"Pedri, please leave me alone."

"Then I'd be a bad friend. C'mon, brother, go have a nap. I know you're tired."

"I can't sleep, Pedri! Ok? If I close my eyes I only see her dead in front of me!"

"Pablo-"

"Everyone is dreaming about the healthy version of her, and I'm the only one that can't even imagine my girlfriend being.. normal and real and-"

"Gavi! Stop!" Pedri began. "You saw her at her worst. It's normal to have that imagine painted in your brain for a period of time. But that definitely doesn't mean that you are not able to also dream about her when she was all healthy."

"I'm afraid that she forgot me and only looks out for her family and not me, Pedri."

"Don't say that! You know that's not true at all."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because we both know that she loved you more than anyone. Now go to sleep and let's have a great game tomorrow so that you can win for her, alright?"

--------------‐---------------------‐---------------------‐------

"Gavira, do you want to play?" Xavi asked the footballer.

"Yes."

"Ok then, go change!"

Before the game, Pablo had promised himself to give his all for you.

And he did that.

He helped his team a lot.

He didn't see you along the crowd, but he somehow felt you in him. You made him stronger and he even scored. Just. For. You.

"She'd be so proud of you, boy."

And then Gavi looked into the sky and saw your shadow.

And then he smiled.

People were cheering his name, and he then promised himself that he would continue to fight for life, just like you did. You fought for every second of life because every moment matters. And by your absence, he learned to appreciate things more. He learned that to live is the most incredible gift that we, humans, have.

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writingforstraykids · 5 months

Text

All the times you fell in love with Chan

Pairing: Chan x femReader (mention of Minho | short mention of ot8)

Word Count: 3505

Summary: Falling for Chan has happened in small stages, and some moments stuck out: making time for you after his live streams, taking care of you as you're on your period, teaching you how to slow dance and many more...

Warnings/Tags: fluff, friends to lovers, cuddles, mentions of insomnia

A/N: Just a collection of short drabbles/scenarios with Chan🤭~ Moon🌙

You’ve known Chan your whole life and growing up you tried not to think of him as more than your big brother and best friend. Nevertheless, you found yourself falling for him steadily and thinking back there are a few moments only increasing your feelings for him…

One

Chan smiles softly, watching you fool around with Seungmin and Minho, smacking a pillow onto the first's head. Minho starts laughing at Seungmin's baffled look and lets you hide behind him as the younger one seeks revenge.

"I'm sorry," you giggle and jump up, running away. Seungmin races after you, and you quickly hide behind Chan.

Chan giggles and reaches back, hands grabbing your sides. "Need an escape?" he asks.

"Yes, please," you laugh, and he grabs your hand, pulling you after him. The pair of you race up the stairs, and Chan quickly pulls you into his room, slamming the door closed. You find yourself pressed against the door as he locks the door, still laughing softly. You giggle breathlessly and look at him, amused. “Good morning, by the way.”

“Morning, dear,” he chuckles before taking a step back.

You make your way over to his bed and throw yourself onto it, pulling out your phone. “Give him five minutes, then he’ll be busy chasing someone else.” Chan snorts before joining you on his bed, staring at the ceiling. He yawns and rubs his face tiredly. You glance at him and frown softly. “How did you sleep?”

“Do I really look that bad?” he asks, contorting his face.

Putting your phone away, you teasingly poke his cheek. “Only a little.”

“Fuck off,” he mutters beneath his breath and squirms away as you tickle his side. “Stop that!”

You smirk and calmly rest your head on his chest. “You had trouble sleeping again?”

“It’s my own fault, honestly. I needed to finish that new song, and once I was done, I wasn’t feeling tired anymore,” he sighs.

“You’re an idiot,” you tell him kindly and yelp, surprised as Chan pulls you on top of him.

Chan smirks up at you and hugs you close. “I know I am.”

You smile at him and fondly roll your eyes. “We could just stay here for a while. Take a nap.”

“Yeah?” he asks, eyes growing incredibly soft.

“Yeah,” you nod and quickly make yourself comfortable on his chest as you start blushing. Chan has been your best friend for years, but now that you are both older, some things have changed. His hugs are still comforting as ever, but there’s a different type of intimacy to it.

Two

Knowing how much Chan struggled throughout the training phase, especially before finally debuting, you loved nothing more than seeing him truly happy. When you first visited after their debut and met all his members, you could tell how proud he was of them. What stood out to you was how much the younger ones seemed to adore him and vice versa. They all welcomed you warmly, making sure you felt at home for the week you stayed with them. Chan started to miss you quite quickly again every time, so you found yourself back in Seoul more often than you could count. Changbin once jokingly mentioned you were their secret ninth member already, and Minho called you his little sister. With every visit, the time you stayed got longer, and your bond with each of them deepened. So when your university suggested studying abroad for a year, you knew where to go.

You make your way through the airport, pulling your suitcase after you, and try to figure out where to find the closest cab. Your phone buzzes in your pants pocket, and you curse softly to yourself as you fumble for it, still staring up at the many screens and signs. You take the call without even looking at who called you and finally spot the directions for the cabs. “Y/N L/N speaking?”

The moment you hear his giggle, you know who it is. “You picked up without looking again?”

“Sorry, I’m currently at the airport and trying to find my way out of here,” you laugh.

“May I help you with that?” he asks, and you suddenly hear his voice double.

You turn around stunned and stare right into his soft brown eyes. “Chan,” you breathe out, the phone still pressed to your ear.

“Welcome back, dear,” he says before ending the call. He pulls you into a tight hug and sways with you from feet to feet. “Gosh, I missed you.”

“I missed you too, Channie,” you smile and hug him back tightly. “Won’t be leaving that soon this time. You’re sure you can cope with me for a whole year?”

“I could cope with you forever,” Chan says quietly, and you pull back, searching his eyes.

“I’ll ask you about that again when we say goodbye in a year,” you tell him, only halfheartedly teasing.

Chan smiles at you fondly, his dimples appearing, making him look very soft. When the hell did he become so pretty? “My answer will be the same.”

Three

You sigh softly and close your laptop, finally done with all of your online classes for the day. Starting your period this morning, you aren’t in the best mood, and you’re glad the boys are all busy working somewhere else. It gets really hard pretending to function and having fun whilst you're internally dying because of the pain. You bury your head in your arms on your laptop as another cramp hits you and bite back a groan.

“You’re okay?”

You look up, slowly sitting up straight again, and meet Chan’s worried eyes. “Yeah, I’m fine,” you nod quickly.

Chan spots your favorite mug and the package of teabags next to you. He strolls over, takes it, and realizes it’s the tea you drink to ease your cramps. “That time of the month again already?” he asks, and you blink at him.

“Uh, yeah,” you say quietly, blushing a little.

“Bad day?” he asks, and you simply nod. “You’re done with school for the day?”

“Yeah, luckily,” you tell him.

“Alright, go pack up your things and meet me in my room after, alright?”

“Okay?” you nod, confused.

“Also, you can grab a pair of my sweatpants and put them on,” he tells you. “They’re probably more comfortable than your fitting ones right now.”

You stare at him, stunned for a moment. “But…uhm, what if, you know,” you ramble, not quite knowing how to say it. “They’re really strong right now, what if the blood-.”

“It’s okay,” he assures you. “I wouldn’t mind, honestly.”

“Oh, okay,” you nod slowly, taking your laptop as he hands it to you. He sends you off with a patient smile, and you turn back around, halfway up the stairs.”Chan?”

“Yes, you can take a sweater as well,” he tells you, not even looking in your direction as he makes some more tea for you. He grins to himself as you laugh at him knowing exactly what you wanted.

Chan was right, his sweatpants that sit more loosely around your hips feel a lot better. Also, the comfortable sweater makes you feel warm and safe instantly. You make your way back to his room after changing and stop in the doorframe. “What is all that?” you ask, surprised.

A few of your favorite snacks and fresh tea are on the small table next to his bed. He’s currently checking the temperature of a heating pad, the package of your painkillers of choice sticking out of the pocket of his pants. “After last time, I wanted to be prepared,” he tells you, holding out the heating pad. “Is that alright?”

“Yeah, that’s perfect,” you nod, holding onto it. After coming here not even two months ago, you haven’t been prepared enough for your first period. No painkillers, tea, snacks, or anything to help you feel more comfortable. Of course, Chan had gone out to grab some stuff for you, but it was a shitty start for all of you.

“Uh, do you have everything you need?” he asks, covering his mattress with a warm, fuzzy blanket.

“Yeah,” you nod, still staring at him.

“I can still go and buy what you need, really, that’s no problem,” he assures you.

“It’s okay,” you tell him quietly, feeling tears brim your eyes. How fucking sweet was that?

Chan nods satisfied, and opens the window to let in some fresh air, knowing you felt hot quickly during your period. “You wanna watch a movie or something? I can still finish work later,” he tells you and turns around, frowning as you don’t answer. He spots the tears in your eyes, and his whole demeanor softens even more. “Oh, dear, that bad?” he asks softly, and you quickly shake your head.

“No, I just…didn’t expect all that,” you admit, and hug the heating pad close. “You didn’t have to do all that, you know.”

“I wanted to,” he assures you before stepping over and pulling you into a warm hug. “I want you to be as comfortable as possible, even if you feel like shit, okay?”

You bury your face in his chest and nod gently. “Okay,” you whisper.

“Now stop acting like I did something massive and come cuddle,” he giggles, and you make sure to remind him that this is, in fact, massive.

Four

You gently knock on Chan’s door before poking your head inside. “Channie?” you ask quietly, not sure if he’s currently doing a livestream.

He glances over at you, smiling as he spots you. “Yes, dear?”

“Do you have a few minutes?” you ask as he checks the time on his phone.

“I’m about to go live..but, what’s wrong?” he asks, almost sounding a little worried.

“Someone pissed me off, that’s all. It’s not that important, don’t worry,” you wave him off.

“Why don’t you go and have some hot chocolate or something? Felix made brownies today, I’m sure he’ll give you some,” he smirks and checks the time once more. “We can talk later? I’ll call you once I’m done.”

“Yeah?” you beam at him, making him giggle.

“Of course,” he laughs before waving you outside. “Piss off, I have work to do.”

He joins you downstairs later, plopping down onto the sofa heavily. You glance at him as he sits there with his eyes closed for a moment, seeming like he has to ground himself for a minute. Gently nudging his side, you tilt your head at him. “You’re alright?”

“Tired, that’s all,” he nods, opening his eyes and giving you a weak smile. “Didn’t get much sleep last night, and it’s starting to show.”

“Oh,” you nod and squint your eyes at him suspiciously. “You should get some sleep then.”

“No, I promised you to talk after the live,” he shakes his head firmly. “You’re important to me, so I want to have time for you when you need me.”

You gently pat his thigh, not noticing how he stiffens at the sudden touch. “That’s really sweet, you know?”

“So, what happened?” he asks curiously.

You start ranting about what happened today at work. He responds with little hums, encouraging you about doing the right thing as his head slowly grows heavier against your shoulder. As you continue your story, you feed him small bites of Felix’s brownies, and Chan sleepily lets you have your way of spoiling him. He tries to stay awake; he really does, but as soon as you start playing with his hair, massaging his scalp so softly, he can’t fight it anymore. You smile to yourself as you notice and pull him down with you onto the sofa. Chan cuddles into you in his sleep, wrapping his arms around you and holding you close. “Night, Channie,” you whisper, and he hums drowsily in response. Chan being all soft and sleepy is a sight you’d never get tired of.

Five

You groan frustratedly as you turn for the hundredth time tonight, still unable to sleep. You went to bed four hours ago once they all got back from their concert and called it a night. Back then, you weren’t really tired, but looking at your friends’ faces, you knew they were. There was no use in trying to keep them up. Nevertheless, you were unable to get any rest, tossing and turning since you went to bed.

You’ve tried reading a book, but your eyes started to hurt after a while. Then you went scrolling through your phone, and once you saw one or two too many edits of your best friend and started to question your feelings for him, once again, you threw that idea overboard as well. Now you’re lying awake, trying to convince yourself that Chan means nothing more than a big brother and best friend to you. You try and fail miserably, knowing you fell for the handsome softie quite a while ago.

After another twenty minutes of self-pitying and messing up your sheets, you throw on a sweater of Chan, which he forgot in your room today, and make your way downstairs quietly. Maybe watching some tv and hot chocolate would help you relax. You notice too late that the lights in the living room are on and bite back a sigh as you spot Chan. The one you wanted to avoid after all those thoughts before. You need a moment to notice Minho as well, curled up next to Chan, head resting in his lap. He seems to be asleep peacefully as Chan’s mindlessly playing with his hair and watching tv, more or less attentive. “Hey,” you whisper, trying not to wake Minho.

“Hey,” he gives back with a tired smile and pats the spot next to him. “Can’t sleep?”

“Nope,” you shake your head and sit down carefully.

“Any reason?” he asks, wrapping his arm around you and pulling you against him.

You sigh softly and shake your head. “Not really, no,” you tell him. “What about Minnie?”

Chan chuckles softly. “You know how the adrenaline gets to him, he needs some time until his body calms down again,” he tells you and glances at his friend. “He knew I’d be awake, it isn’t the first time.”

“Mhm, I get that,” you nod gently and lean comfortably against him. “Tell me a story?”

“A story?” he giggles. “Like a bedtime story for little kids, is that what you want?”

“Chan,” you groan softly. “I’m not five anymore.”

“You were quite an adorable five-year-old, though,” he smirks, and you shoot him a playful glare.

“You were only seven, don’t think you’re all grown-up,” you snort.

“You sound like Min,” he laughs. “He keeps on telling me that one year isn’t that much either.”

“Well, it isn’t. Neither are two,” you insist, and Chan simply grins.

“Not anymore…but I still remember how pissed you were once I turned 18, and you were still sweet 16,” he giggles.

“You’re an ass,” Minho suddenly chimes in drowsily. “It’s not that much of a difference, old man.”

“Fuck off,” Chan pokes his side, making him squirm.

“Now tell her some damn story, I wanna sleep,” he protests softly and closes his eyes again.

“Unbelievable,” Chan sighs but gives in since the two of you seem to agree.

It doesn’t take long until your head rests next to Minho’s, and you’re slowly falling asleep. Chan never fails to get you to sleep.

Six

“What the hell are you still doing in your sweatpants?” Chan’s voice cuts through the silence of your room.

“I don’t wanna go,” you mumble into your pillow, hiding your face as his confused eyes meet yours.

The mattress dips beneath his weight as he gets comfortable next to you, mirroring your position. “But you were so excited only a few days ago.”

“I’m not anymore,” you whine softly.

“Why? Come on, Min helped you pick that beautiful dress, Felix, Jeongin, and you bought the fitting jewelry…didn’t Hannie and Seungmin also help you pick out some make-up?” he asks, irritated. “Changbin helped with your shoes, Hyunjin offered to help with doing your hair…what the hell is keeping you from going after that team effort? Is it because I didn’t do anything?” he asks teasingly.

“No,” you giggle and peak at him shyly. “I’ll embarrass myself.”

“What?!” he asks confused. “Why the hell would that be the case, huh?”

“They want us to slow dance in the beginning,” you explain, and he nods, still not getting the problem. “I don’t have a partner…and I don’t know how to.”

“Fucks sake, why didn’t you say so earlier?” he giggles at you and teasingly pokes your side. “I can show you how to dance.”

“Doesn’t matter if I look all fancy by myself,” you mumble sadly.

“Who said anything about you going alone, huh?” he asks, rolling his eyes. “I can come with you.”

You sit up, frowning down at him. “You?”

“Okay, sorry, there are seven other people at your disposal if you don’t want me,” he shoots back, only partly joking.

“No, Channie, that’s not…I just didn’t expect that,” you tell him and chuckle as he jumps up.

“Great, I’ll go get the guys to get you ready why I search for a suit or something fancy,” he announces, and before you can protest, he’s gone.

Only shortly after, you’re ready with the help of your friends and make your way over to Chan’s room. You knock at his door before stepping inside. He turns around, fixing his tie as he looks at you.

“See, that would’ve been a complete waste not to go,” he smirks and takes your hands, pulling you in front of the mirror with him. “You look amazing, dear,” he tells you gently, and your delusional ass actually believes there’s love in his eyes.

“Thank you, you don’t look so bad yourself,” you wink at him. It’s an understatement; he looks incredibly handsome.

Chan pulls you against his chest, smoothly wrapping his arm around your waist. “Ready?” he asks, taking your hand and meeting your eyes.

“Yeah,” you whisper, swallowing softly at how close he suddenly is. His cologne surrounds you, his hand feels soft against yours, and his hold on you spreads warmth through your whole body. He slowly guides you through the room, showing you the steps patiently as he sways with you. You don’t need a fancy ballgown in some massive hall surrounded by way too many people. He and you right here were all you needed.

Seven

You hum along to the tune playing through your headphones, not noticing Minho sneaking up on you. He suddenly plops on the sofa beside you, making you flinch heavily. “Min!” you protest.

“What?” he asks innocently. “It’s not my fault you’re listening to your love’s song for the hundredth time today.”

“My…what?” you ask, blushing heavily. “Chan’s not my love.”

“Only almost,” Minho shrugs and smirks at you. “No turning back once we’re connected, huh?” he grins.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” you ask, laughing at him.

“We both know who he wrote that one about,” he says, but searching your eyes, he realizes you don’t. “Alright, fine, I do then.”

“I…I have no idea what you’re talking about,” you shake your head, slightly amused.

“Oh dear,” he sighs softly. “You didn’t hear that from me, but your beloved Channie hyung wrote that one about you.”

“He what?!” you exclaim, and Minho’s eyes widen.

“Hey!” he curses at you quietly.

“He wrote that one about me?” you whisper.

“You’re either blind or dumb. I don’t know what I’d prefer at this point,” Minho snorts, and you punch his arm in protest. “He’s in love with you, and if you feel even slightly the same…Please tell him already. He’s getting on my nerves. I love you, but I don’t want to hear how sparkly your eyes are while I’m trying to enjoy my pudding.”

You can’t help but laugh at the disgust lacing his features. “You’re sure about this?”

“Very,” Minho nods patiently, blinking at you as you don’t respond. “Are you?”

“I’m pretty sure I want more than friendship with him, yes,” you nod gently.

“Gross,” Minho comments. “Well, then get on with it. Do I have to do everything around here?”

“Right now?” you ask, confused.

Minho groans softly. “Chan hyung!”

“What?” Chan shouts back from upstairs, and you try to cover Minho’s mouth.

“Come down here, I was right!” he shouts, and your eyes widen in betrayal.

“He knew?” you breathe out.

“He’s as much a coward as you are, someone had to give you a push. It’s getting exhausting seeing the two of you dance around each other,” he grins and gets up as Chan comes downstairs. “Thank me later,” he smirks.

Taglist: (Please let me know if you want to be added to/removed from the list!)

Chan’s eyes meet yours, and you can tell Minho isn’t lying. Your heartbeat fastens, and you barely get out his name, unsure how to begin. Why was it so hard to say how you felt?

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halsteadlover · 6 months

Text

𝐒𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞

*Gif and pic not mine credits to the owner*

• Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female!Reader.

• Requested: no.

• Summary: your life is amazing. You have everything you wished for, a caring and beautiful husband, a satisfying job, an amazing house. What if in a matter of seconds, your incredible fairy tale is about to take a tragic twist?

• Warnings: angst, mention of car crash, blood, wounds, curse words, death.

• Word count: 7580.

• A/N: Please don’t kill me. Y’ALL BETTER EAT THIS FIC UP BECAUSE I PUT MY BLOOD AND SWEAT AND TEARS (always pretty please). I hope you’ll like this piece I know I was heartbroken writing it. Drop a like, a comment and reblog if you want, it’d be amazing and so helpful. I apologize for any mistake or grammar error. Thank you so much as always for your support, looking forward for your opinion. ❤️

“Baby!”.

“Y/n!”.

“You hear me? Please answer me”.

“Please hold on, everything will be okay I promise. Please… Don't leave me.”

What was going on?

Why did you feel so weak?

Where was Spencer?

Your breathing was heavy, cold shivers ran through your body but despite this you couldn't move a single muscle even if you could feel your body waving to an unknown motion, like you were floating.

Am I moving?

You felt your eyelids fighting not to stay closed even if you tried with every fiber of your body to fight against that tiredness that wanted so badly to suck you into the darkness.

You were so afraid.

You managed to slightly open your eyes, only for a fraction of a second, and all you saw was a blinding white light that forced you to close your eyes right after. It was so strong you couldn't open them again.

What it was?

Was it heaven?

Were you dead?

“Please baby hold on, if you hear me please fight, I know you’re so strong. I’m begging you… Stay with me…”

Spencer?

Yes, there was no doubt that it was him even if his voice carried in the distance, each word fading further and further. You wanted so badly to answer him, to shout you were okay, that you could hear him, that you were there with him.

But were you really okay?

No, I’m not.

And the more you fought against the darkness, the more it sucked you into its heavy vortex.

You fought, you really tried, but you didn't have the strength. You were too weak, too tired.

You just wanted to rest for a bit.

God please let me okay.

You eventually gave up, stopped fighting and let yourself be lulled by that darkness.

It was so peaceful.

There wasn’t any more pain. Any suffering.

Maybe it wasn’t so bad.

Five hours earlier

“I really don't feel like going to work this morning,” your husband kept complaining. You were both still in your bedroom, you were sitting while Spencer was lying next to you, his arm around your hips and his head on your lap.

“Hotch will kill you if you take a day off without warning,” you giggled, running your fingers through his fluffy hair. “I also wish you could stay here love, I feel so lonely here without you. But unfortunately you can’t.”

Spencer huffed, holding you even tighter. “I know I'm so sorry baby, I hate leaving you alone. I'm always so worried.”

“Oh yeah I know, the three thousand texts you send me always asking me if I'm okay prove it.” You teased him and even though you couldn't see him you knew full well he rolled his eyes.

“Ah, ah, keep making fun of me,” he retorted. “Is it really weird I want to keep you safe?”.

“No baby, I was joking. You know very well I love you're so protective of me and besides, I’m okay, you don’t have to worry about me.”

He kept caressing your side, leaving a kiss on it at the level of your scar, a gesture that made your heart melt. He looked up at you and smiled before propping himself up on his elbows, resting his free hand on your face and pressing his lips on yours. A flock of butterflies exploded in your stomach.

It didn't matter how long you two were together, you felt the same butterflies, the same feeling as in the early days, he still managed to make your heart skip a beat with just a kiss.

God I love this man so much.

“What will I do without you?” Spencer pouted, already missing you before he even got out of bed and got dressed. “I just hope we won’t have any case.”

Spencer had left for work, but not before recommending you to call and text him if you needed anything. You reassured him, telling him not to worry, that everything would be fine and of course you wouldn't hesitate to call him.

You settled on the couch and spent the morning watching episodes of your favorite TV show which, although you loved it, was getting tiresome.

Three weeks earlier you had been injured on duty while chasing a serial killer who had shot you as he tried to escape.

You were fine but Spencer, being his overprotective self, refused to let you do anything that involved physical effort and prevented you in any way from returning back to work before the five weeks of rest recommended by the doctor. And it didn't help that Hotch agreed with him.

Spencer did nothing but text you all morning when he could, asking how you were as if you were in a hospital bed. You reassured him, sending him selfies of you lying on the couch, asking him how things were going at the unit.

You loved Spencer so much, you loved the way he always protected you, the way he was so thoughtful of you, the way he always put you first in any moment and situation.

The morning was rather boring so you decided to keep yourself busy with cooking something for lunch, that you wanted to bring to Spencer too since you missed him and didn't want to wait until the evening to see him again. But you also wanted to see the rest of the team again. You hated to say it, but you missed those assholes.

As you packed your and Spencer's lunch, your phone vibrated on the table.

From: Spence 💍, 12.47 AM Is it weird I miss you so terribly? I'll never get used to not seeing you here.

You smiled like an idiot, knowing how much Spencer wasn't a fan of technology but despite this being committed to use it since you couldn't live without it.

To: Spence 💍, 12:50 AM Have I ever told you I’m so madly in love with you Doctor Reid? I miss you so much more xx

You placed your phone on the table and continued putting away your lunch. When you finished, you grabbed some clean cutlery and paper napkins and then looked at your phone, noticing he didn’t answer your text yet.

You left the house after making sure you locked the door, you went to your car, pulling your phone out of your purse to send an audio message to Spencer.

“Baby don’t eat anything because I'm coming with your favorite food. It's a little burnt I have to admit, but in my defense I was distracted watching TV,” you let out a small laugh. “If you know what's best for you, you'll better say it's delicious or you'll sleep on the couch tonight. I love you so much, see you soon!”.

You got into your car and placed the two lunch boxes on the passenger seat. While driving, you were careful not to brake suddenly to avoid all the food spilling into your car.

You stopped at a red light and you took you phone to see if Spencer had texted you back but he didn’t.

The light turned green after almost thirty seconds and you placed your phone in your purse again before starting to drive again. You were at an intersection and you just drove few meters before your saw out of the corner of your eye a car speeding towards you.

You turned your head towards it and tried to brake but you weren't very fast.

Everything happened quickly.

A sudden, deafening thud made your ears ring and time seemed to stop for an instant.

You didn't have time to react, to even let out a scream or do anything else before that car hit you full force on the side.

If someone had asked you to describe what had happened in that moment, you wouldn’t have been able to do it because you didn’t even know what had happened in the first place, having lost consciousness before you could realize you had just been involved in a car crash.

Spencer was unaware in the meantime his whole life was about to undergo something he’d never, ever want to face, something he continually lived in fear of happening.

He and the rest of the team were in the meeting room, investigating on a case of a serial killer that the police in a nearby town had asked for help with. It was a simple case, so it wasn't even necessary for the whole team to go there.

“Reid focus.” Hotch had warned him several times when during the morning he caught him on his cell phone, the small smile shadowed his lips making it obvious who he was talking to. So he had put his cell phone in his pocket although his mind always went towards you.

He wondered what you were doing although knowing you, you were probably watching some TV show and the thought of you lying on the sofa, curled up under the blanket made him smile, earning you a small pat on the back of the head from Morgan.

“Focus pretty boy, I know you miss your beautiful wife but we have a case to solve.”

This had started a series of jokes and teasing towards Reid who in response would gave everyone the middle finger.

The truth was that he missed you deeply, he missed looking up and seeing you sitting at your desk filling out some case report with your pen between your lips and the wedding ring shining on your finger, he missed flirting with you in a not-so-subtle way and being made fun of by the whole team, even Hotch. He missed traveling from city to city and working with you to catch ruthless killers, he missed seeing you sitting in your chair around the meeting room table.

He couldn't wait for those two more weeks to pass, although the worry you still hadn't fully recovered didn't leave his mind.

His phone suddenly started ringing and he muttered an 'excuse me' before taking it out of his pocket and reading your name on the screen.

He moved away from the others so he could answer the call.

“Hi baby! What...-” He started but stopped immediately after when a voice that didn't belong to you interrupted him, making the smile he had on his lips instantly disappear.

“Do you happen to know Y/n Y/Ln? We found this number among the emergency contacts.”

Spencer frowned, his heart already eating wildly and anxiety twisting his guts. “Y-yes. She’s my wife… What's going on? Who am I talking to? Where’s she? Is she okay?”.

“I'm sorry to inform you that your wife was involved in a car accident, she’s in serious conditions…”

Spencer froze in place, the man's words echoing in his head while he couldn't process them.

What the fuck?

“C-can you repeat that?” He stammered, hoping it was just a misunderstanding, that the man had gotten the wrong person. “There must be a mistake m-my wife… She’s… She’s at home…”

“I’m very sorry sir…”

Spencer Reid, who had always been a quiet, calm and collected person, completely lost his mind.

After getting the address of the car crash site he ran at lightning speed out of the unit, ignoring the voices of Derek and the rest of the team who called him worriedly.

His mind wasn't focused on anyone else but you and as he sped through the streets he couldn't help but think about what the hell had happened.

You were supposed to be home, on the couch watching TV. Why did you went out? Why didn't you text him?

His stomach clenched with anxiety, an emotion he wasn't familiar with but since he'd met you he often seemed to feel because of the constant and devastating fear something bad might happen to you.

He wasn't good with feelings, everyone knew it, but thanks to you he had learned to give voice to what he felt, he had learned to embrace those sensations and emotions he struggled to show from an early age and that for so long he wanted to suppress.

A lump kept pressing on his throat, almost suffocating him. He continued to murmur and hope you were okay but when he arrived at the scene his heart almost stopped again.

The car crash scene was a disaster.

Various passers-by had gathered in shock from a distance to watch curiously as the fire fighters and paramedics worked on those piles of scrap metal that were the cars.

They were completely destroyed and no one believed the two drivers had made it given the catastrophic impact.

Various emotions had passed through Reid, emotions that he could group into one word: dying. That’s how he felt, dying.

He pushed through the crowd of people, pushing them aside and ignoring those who complained in response. After identifying himself with the cops he ran towards the wreckage where the rescuers and firefighters had just pulled you out of the destroyed car.

“Let me go! That's my wife right there!” He continued to exclaim loudly while two cops struggled to restrain him. His gaze was fixed on you, on your unconscious body while the rescuers carried you on the stretcher.

“Sir you need to let the paramedics do their job! I know it's a horrible situation but this will only hinder them!”.

Spencer was a guy who didn't like conflicts but at that precise moment he was willing to kill those cops with his bare hands.

He snorted loudly, pulling out his badge. “I'm an FBI agent and if you don't let me go to my wife right now I will make your life a living hell and have your badges on my desk before tomorrow.”

It only happened very few times he’d threatened someone, and most of them were to extort information or to make a killer to confess, but the way his wild and desperate eyes were glaring at the two cops, made them understand he wasn't bluffing at all.

They eventually let him pass and he ran towards you.

You lay unconscious on the stretcher, your body covered in your own blood. You had an oxygen mask on your face, a collar around your neck to stabilize it and Spencer had to rely on all the strength he had in his body not to collapse there in front of everyone.

He couldn't believe it, he couldn't believe it was true.

He grabbed your hand with his, the diamond of your ring pressing against his palm. He tried to swallow the lump in his throat, not wanting to let his emotions overwhelm him. He couldn't be weak, not now, not when you needed him.

“Baby!”.

He called your name, desperation clear in his voice. His eyes scanned your face, always beautiful as the sun even if dotted with scratches and bruises.

“Y/n!”.

He called your name again, with even more urgency and desperation, hoping that hearing his voice would wake you up.

“You hear me? Please answer me.”

“Sir we have to go to the hospital immediately. We have no time to waste.” The paramedic's voice brought him back to reality and Spencer nodded, never taking his eyes off you.

“Please hold on, everything will be okay I promise. Please… Don’t leave me,” he whispered to you before turning to the paramedics. “I’m coming with you.”

The journey to the hospital was the longest and most painful ride Reid had ever made in his entire life.

He never let go of your hand, occasionally kissing your knuckles as he carefully watched every little movement the paramedics made.

At a certain point his heart rekindled with hope when he saw your eyelids move and open slightly.

“Y/n baby! Can you hear me? Y/n!” He exclaimed but his hope faded when he saw your eyelids close a second later and you lose consciousness again.

“Please baby hold on, if you hear me please fight,” His eyes filled with tears but he tried to fight them back, this wasn’t the time to cry. “I know you’re so strong, I’m begging you… Stay with me… I'm here, I'm here, and I’m not leaving you. Everything will be fine, you’ll be okay.”

You had a cardiac arrest on the way to the hospital but they managed to revive you and needless to say, this freaked out Spencer even more than he already was.

You died in front of him.

For a few moments your heart had stopped beating and the terror Spencer felt was a sensation he had never felt before. Maybe only when something happened to you during the job. He had always told you that you’d give him a heart attack sooner or later.

When the ambulance arrived at the hospital, Spencer barely had time to say anything before the doctors rushed you to the OR, leaving him helpless.

He passed his hands on his face, then fingers in his hair as he tried to figure out what the fuck was going on.

He had heard the police say the driver that hit you had lost control of his car after feeling dizzy, failing to stop at the red light and hitting you while you had just started driving again after the green light.

You were just in the wrong place at the wrong time.

It had all been a stupid twist of fate and now you had to fight to live.

Spencer didn't believe in fate, he didn't believe there was some superior being or entity, he believed in science, in empirical data, in theories proven by hypotheses and theses, but then why did this happen? Why was the love of his life fighting between life and death?

Why did it seem like someone or something wanted to snatch his happiness away when he was finally happy?

He walked back and forth across the floor of the waiting room for what seemed an infinite amount of time, almost digging a ditch in the wake of his footsteps.

He had called Hotch, told him about the car crash and that you were in surgery and he reassured him the whole team would be there in no time.

It wasn't until after you ended the call with Hotch that Spencer saw your last messages, including the audio text you'd sent him.

His fingers were shaking and he sat down, fearing his knees would give out sooner or later.

His eyes filled with tears again as they read the message and the chasm inside his heart opened even more. But it was when he listened to your audio message the air was completely sucked out of his lungs and it became difficult to continue breathing.

“Baby don’t eat anything because I'm coming with your favorite food. It's a little burnt I have to admit, but in my defense I was distracted watching TV,” He heard you giggle while in the background he heard the car door open and close shortly after, a sign that you had just gotten into the car. “If you know what's best for you, you'll better say it's delicious or you'll sleep on the couch tonight. I love you so much, see you soon!”.

Your audio cut out and Spencer only realized he was crying when tears fell from his eyes onto his phone screen.

He was completely devastated.

It was his fault.

You went out because you were going to bring him food.

He couldn't process what was happening, he couldn't conceive it.

How did you go from hugging in bed that morning to you in the OR? For what kind of fucked up reason did this happen to you? Among the many people who could’ve been at that damned intersection, why did it have to be you?

Spencer knew it wasn't right to hope it happened to someone else but he didn’t care, fuck, he wished it’d happened to himself.

For the first time in his whole life Spencer prayed.

He prayed with every fiber of his being to whoever was up there to make you survive, he prayed to be able to see you again, hug you, kiss you again. He prayed to hear your laugh again, your awful jokes, to see your smile and your eyes shining when you saw him, he prayed to be able to sleep with you again, to wake up in the morning and smell the scent of your skin and hair, of feeling your fingers run through his messy hair while you were watching a movie and he had his head resting on your lap.

He prayed to still have time with you. He prayed to start a family with you even though the thought of it terrified him because he had no idea how to be a parent, but at the same time knowing there was no other person he’d want to do it if not you. He begged to tease you when the first wrinkles would appear on your beautiful face but to console you at the same time saying you were still the most beautiful and breathtaking woman he had ever met in his life.

He prayed to see your hair turn white, to see your children have kids of their own, he prayed to hold your hand until the end of your days.

He couldn't imagine a place on the planet where you didn't exist, where you weren't with him.

You two just got married, you had just started your life together, it couldn't all just vanish like that, in the blink of an eye, it just couldn't end.

You were strong. This was one of the many qualities Spencer admired about you, you were much stronger than you wanted to show and if there was anyone who could overcome that obstacle it was you.

The rest of the BAU had arrived after about fifteen minutes, both with worried and heartbroken expressions on their faces except Penelope, who was crying almost as many tears as she had.

“Reid!”.

JJ's voice made Spencer snap his head up from his phone, not realizing he had been mesmerized by looking at the picture he had as his background. It was a photo of you he took during a picnic during one of your first dates after you got together, Spencer had told a horrible joke and you had burst out laughing.

Spencer was so hypnotized by you, by the sound of your laugh, by your smile, by the small wrinkles at the corners of your eyes that he couldn't resist taking a photo and since then it had become his wallpaper and one of his favorite photos of you ever.

Everyone could notice the swelling of Spencer's eyes, evidence of the crying.

“Come here pretty boy.”

Morgan was the first to approach Spencer, pulling him in a brotherly hug, squeezing him with all the strength he had in his body, as if wanting to convey to him some of that strength he knew he tremendously needed.

“She's gonna make it okay? We know Y/n, that woman is a force of nature. She’ll make it.” He whispered in his ear, trying to hold back his emotions.

Everyone tried to appear as strong as possible but the truth was they too felt a boulder pressing on their stomach. Before being Spencer's wife, his partner, you were a colleague, a friend to all of them.

Nobody said anything else.

There were no need for words, everyone knew it’d be of no use.

They all tried to comfort each other, Emily was holding Garcia's hand the entire time, JJ and Morgan were sitting next to Spencer while Hotch and Rossi were standing not far from the others, all silently praying for you wellbeing.

Reid's body was sitting in the waiting room, surrounded by his friends and colleagues, yet his mind was completely elsewhere. His thoughts ran and ran, without stopping, so fast he didn't know which ones to listen to first.

Spencer and the team spent hours sitting in the waiting room, waiting for some doctor to come and update them on your health. He hoped the longer they took it meant there was a better chance of you getting through the surgery.

When he saw a doctor approaching where they were sitting, it was as if a vision manifested in front of him. His heart was beating wildly, so loudly he thought everyone around him could hear it while anxiety twisted his stomach so much he feared he’d throw up on the doctor's feet.

“Are you Y/n Y/Ln's family?” the doctor asked.

“I'm her husband. How is she? Please tell me she's okay. When can I see her?” Spencer blathered once he jumped up and approached doctor - he read the card - Miller.

He looked skeptically at the rest of the team, and then Spencer spoke. “It’s okay, we’re all colleagues, a family. How is Y/n? She made it right?”.

Spencer observed the micro-expressions on Dr. Miller's face. He noticed how his eyebrows furrowed slightly, how his chest rose slightly and fell, how his lips pressed together, how his neck stiffened and his posture tensed.

He knew that expression, unfortunately he knew it too well because of the job he did. It was the same expression with which he looked at the victims’ families when he was about to give them the worst and most devastating news of their lives.

Spencer saw that but decided to ignore it, he decided not to listen to his guts.

“The patient suffered much more serious damage than we imagined…”

“And what are you doing here? Go help her!” Spencer exclaimed, abruptly interrupting the doctor.

“Due to the violent trauma and along with broken bones, the ruptured spleen, the liver damage as well as the amount of blood she lost, she had also suffered a dissection of the ascending aorta.”

Spencer's heart stopped.

“W-what? What does that mean doctor?” It was Penelope who asked.

“It’s the tearing of the aorta’s wall, the largest vessel in our body. It has weakened due to the trauma and it’s no longer able to pump blood towards the other blood vessels and consequently the entire body can’t receive enough blood. Trying to repair it’s practically impossible, as her heart has already stopped once, she’s too weak to face a surgery, and the dissection further aggravates the situation. She would die on the OR table before we can even get to the aorta,” Dr. Miller explained, trying to be as clear as possible.

“Dissection of the ascending aorta is unfortunately one of the most serious vascular conditions and… There is no easy way to say it, we have done everything we can but she does't have much time left. It's a matter of hours…”

A deafening silence fell in the waiting room.

Almost everyone put their hands to their mouths to try to cover the gasps and sobs, Hotch stared at his shoes while shaking his head in disbelief. No one could believe what they had just heard.

Spencer couldn't hear a word Dr. Miller said. His brain refused to process them, because it couldn't be true, there must have been some misunderstanding.

Maybe he had confused patient, maybe he had talked to the wrong family.

“No, no, no!” Spencer exclaimed loudly. Morgan put a hand on his shoulder but he shook it violently. “Don’t touch me!” Then he went on to point a finger at Dr. Miller.

“Say it again.”

“Sir…”

“Reid…” Rossi whispered.

“Say it again!” He shouted, his voice shaking. “Say it! Because there is no way on earth I just heard my wife is fucking dying! Say it again!”.

Spencer's voice cracked at the end and he burst into tears, bending to the ground as he felt his legs gave out.

Dr. Miller looked at Spencer with sadness while he was in the throes of disbelief and despair. Nobody dared to say anything, they too had to process that mourning, but they all knew that Spencer needed time more than anyone.

How do you react calmly when someone tells you that your partner, the love of your life, is about to die?

And it wasn't just any person, someone he just met, but you. You were dying.

Doctor Miller knelt in front of Spencer, placing a hand on his shoulder as he continued to cry all the tears he had in his body. “I'm so sorry, if there had been anything, anything we could’ve done to save her we would’ve done please trust me. I can't even imagine what you're going through right now but she's in the ICU now and she's awake, we gave her morphine so she doesn't feel any pain. Go and say goodbye to her, okay?”.

The world was collapsing on him, everything was disintegrating around him and he couldn't do anything to stop it.

How the fuck did this happen? How the fuck was that possible?

He couldn't believe it, he couldn't process what was happening.

It shouldn't have happened, not to you, you didn't deserve it.

He was terrified, more than he had ever been in his entire life, not even when he had been kidnapped and tortured by a ruthless killer.

Images after images of moments with you continued to flood his mind while a sense of anguish gripped his stomach, so strong he couldn't stop crying.

He cried.

Everyone cried with him in that waiting room, hugging each other.

All his dreams had been shattered, they had all vanished in the blink of an eye, flown away like a grain of sand in the sea.

Where did his ‘forever’ go?

His forever was in the ICU and was about to die. The only person he had ever loved, the only person who had ever understood him without trying to fix him, the only person who had ever made him happy, who had made him understand the meaning of the word love, who had made him believe that even if he came from a dysfunctional family that didn't mean the same fate would happen to him, the only person for whom he lived, breathed, for whom he committed himself every single day to fight his demons and ghosts was about to walk away forever.

How do you survive something like that?

What would he have done without you?

Spencer couldn't live without you.

He couldn't even imagine waking up in the morning and not finding you. He couldn't imagine coming home at night and knowing you’d be dead. He couldn’t imagine going in the kitchen and not smelling your food. He couldn’t imagine watch a romantic movie and not seeing you cry your eyes out.

No, no, no, fuck, that couldn't be true.

One by one they all came to you to say goodbye but no one spoke to each other. Spencer didn’t have the strength to walk into that room, he hoped till the last minute it was just a nightmare and he’d soon wake up.

There was only desperation and so many, many tears. Even Hotchner, always so serious and impeccable, couldn't stop the tears when he left your room, moving away from the others so as not to be seen.

The last one was him.

When it was Spencer's turn he was terrified.

His fingers trembled as they were about to open the door. He didn't have the courage to enter that room, look you in the eyes, say goodbye to his love.

With what strength would he have hugged you knowing it would be the last time? How would he be able to say goodbye? How would he be able to tell you he loved you knowing it was the last time? How could he let you go?

Every step he took was heavy, leaving a piece of his tormented soul behind each one.

Seeing you was like a punch in the stomach, like every time his eyes rested on you but that time what he felt wasn't happiness but only sadness, desperation, anguish and helplessness.

Oh my everlasting love. You didn't deserve all of this.

You lay in bed, a nasal cannula supplying you with oxygen, electrodes connecting your body to monitors that marked a low blood pressure and a below-normal heart rate.

He swallowed the lump in his throat, trying to rely on what little strength he had to not collapse to the floor and burst into desperate tears again. But the shine of his eyes, their swelling and redness showed how intensely he had cried in the last few hours.

You looked at him and he felt breathless.

How will I live without those eyes?

“Hi baby.”

His voice trembled, smiling slightly as he moved closer to you. He couldn't conceive the idea that the last time he had seen you was that same morning and you were fine, while at that moment you were on a hospital bed dying.

He pulled up a chair and sat next to you. He took one of your hands in his, intertwining your fingers and leaving a kiss on the back of it. All it took was for your skin to come in contact with his for him to burst into inconsolable and suffocating tears again.

He wrapped his arms around your hips, his head resting on your abdomen as you stroked his hair. It was a projection from that same morning but the difference was that this time would be the last.

He would no longer hug you, he would no longer be lulled by the warmth of your arms, feel your fingers run through his messy and tangled hair.

Silence reigned in the room, interrupted only by Spencer's sobs as he continued to cry desperately. He held you like he had never done before, as if in that way he hoped you would stay.

“It's okay…” you barely whispered, weakened and groggy from the morphine.

You felt… Apathetic.

You couldn't describe the emotions you felt at that moment, ever since the doctor told you didn’t have much time you felt anesthetized.

It was as if you were seeing everything from an external perspective, as if it wasn't really you lying on the bed, as if it wasn't you who was going to die in a few hours.

Not a tear had rolled down yours, not even when the rest of your team had come to say their final goodbyes.

You didn't want to feel like this, you didn't want to be apathetic, so numb. You wanted to feel anger, pain, helplessness, anguish, anxiety, anything, you wanted to cry, scream, but the more you tried, the more you couldn't.

“Don’t leave me please…” Spencer's sobs interrupted him. He continued to cling to you, to hold onto you as if his life depended on it.

“Baby, look at me.” Your voice was hoarse, thick with sleep and tiredness.

“No, no, no, I know what you want to tell me… No…” He held you even tighter than before. “You can't leave me…”

He turned his head towards you, his vision completely blurred with tears, his face wet. He brought his hands to your face, caressed your cheeks, your hair and tried as much as possible to imprint every detail of your skin in his memory.

“You're so beautiful baby,” he whispered, “It's not fair…”

“I know,” you whispered back weakly, “I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. But it's so unpredictable, isn't it?”.

“No, life sucks.”

You placed a hand on his still on your face, closing your eyes for a moment and enjoying the feeling of warmth that only he could give you.

“I know everything seems bad right now, I know you'll think this long after I'm gone but it's not like that love, life doesn't suck. It’s the most beautiful gift we could ever have...” you murmured with no small effort, your breathing heavy and difficult.

He shook his head. “Bullshit. You are my life, baby...” He cried. “I can't live without you. I can't... I can't go home and not find you there, I can't sleep without you next to me, I can't go to work and look up and not find you sitting there at your desk… I can’t…”

“Of course you can you’re the strongest person I know baby, even if you don't recognize it. You’ll be happy again...” You placed a hand on his cheek, drying with your fingers his tears that never stopped coming out. “Promise me one thing.”

“No, no, no, I can't, don't do this to me please… Don't make me promise something I can't keep baby…”

“Spencer, please. I can't leave knowing you won't be happy, please, I need to know you’ll at least try... Promise me...”

A solitary tear rolled down your face, even though you didn't even realize it at the time.

He shook his head, looking down as he continued to cry. He sat down on the bed next to you, pulling you into a hug you tried to return with the little strength you had left.

He left a long kiss on your head, inhaling deeply that beautiful scent he’d never be able to smell again in his life. He rested his cheek on you, letting your hair tickle his skin.

“I can't… I can't…” he repeated, feeling the air disappear more and more from his lungs. “You’re the first person who made me understand what it means to be happy baby… I don’t how to do it without you… D-don't… You can't ask me… I’m begging you…”

You slightly pulled away from him, cupping your hands on his face and smiling slightly through the tears you hadn't even realized you were shedding.

You were crying.

“I wouldn't ask you if I knew you couldn't Spence. I know it’ll be hard but life is beautiful baby, so damn beautiful and deserves to be lived to the full. Plus, I'm not really leaving okay? My body may no longer be here but my soul will always be with you, I’ll always be here when you need me, I will never leave you.” You spoke softly, your breathing heavy with each word. You placed a hand at his heart level which was beating wildly at that moment.

He shook his head again, still crying as desperation enveloped him more and more. “But I-I want you here…”

“Shh, listen to me love, please…” You stopped due to a cough. Spencer rushed to get you a glass of water from the bedside table, helping you drink and stroking your back in the meantime. “Thanks baby.”

Despite the morphine you still felt a weight on your chest, your lungs couldn't expand and everything hurt.

But it wasn't physical pain.

It was your soul that was hurting.

“Listen to me…” You started speaking feebly again, looking Spencer in his eyes, losing yourself in those two beautiful wells. “I need to know you’ll move on baby, that you’ll find someone you’ll love again and who will love you so deeply like I did, with whom you’ll build a beautiful family, with whom you’ll have children, a beautiful house and a dog if you want. This doesn’t mean you’ll forget about me, I’ll always be by your side at every step you take, I promise you, I’ll watch over you and if you need anything you just have to talk to me... Maybe not in front of other people or they’ll think you’re crazy.”

He chuckled through his tears and your heart skipped a beat. “That’s it. That’s the beautiful smile I always want to see, God you make me so happy.”

“There will be no one after you baby.”

“Spence please…-”

“No, no, you can't ask me that,” he murmured, his tone of voice so melancholy and sorrowful it made your gut wrench. “When I married you I never thought for a second there could be an ‘after you’, never, even though I knew the risks we both ran because of our jobs. There will never be anyone after you Y/n, there will never be anyone who can ever make me happy like you do, there will never be anyone I will ever love as much as I love you. It… It wouldn't be right...” He let out a deep sigh “It wouldn't be right for her, for... For the children because I wouldn't love them as much as I love you, because I would look at them and only think I could’ve had all that with you and I don't want that…”

He stroked your hair, looking at you with so much love it made your heart melt.

You didn’t want your time to end. You wanted to be with him, forever.

“Spencer… I-I'm terrified…” You managed to murmur before bursting into desperate, heartbreaking tears. Spencer hugged you while you sobbed into his sweater.

“I know… I know…”

Terrified didn't even come close to describing how you felt at that moment.

I'm dying.

Soon I won't be here anymore.

You couldn't conceive it, realize it, you couldn't accept it. But then again, how could you? Who would ever accept a death sentence?

You weren't ready.

You didn't want to leave Spencer, God, you had so many dreams to achieve together and it wasn't fucking right, it wasn't.

You just wanted to bring lunch and eat with your beloved husband, spend some time with him, why did this have to happen to you? What did you do wrong? You hadn't died from a bullet three weeks earlier but you were about to die for wanting to see your husband.

Why didn't you just stay home? If you had done it you would’ve been fine, you would’ve just had to wait for Spencer to come home that evening so you could hug him again. If you had done it you would’ve slept in the same bed, together that night, perhaps after making love, the next morning you would’ve woken up with his scent and his warmth, you would’ve had breakfast together.

You both cried until you couldn't breathe, holding on to each other as if you were both each other's lifelines.

You felt weak, every moment that passed breathing was like a punch in the stomach even though the oxygen flow had been turned up to maximum.

Hours passed and every minute that passed the fear paralyzed you more and more.

Spencer stayed next to you the entire time, hugging you and tightly holding your hand. You’d think he had shed all the tears he had in his body but instead he had never stopped, he continued to cling to you, to hold you in the hope that a miracle would happen.

He didn't believe in miracles, he thought there was a reason for everything, but in that moment he prayed for one to happen with every fiber of his being.

Your eyelids felt heavy and you struggled to keep your eyes open.

You were tired, so fucking tired, just wanting to rest for a bit but knowing if you definitely close your eyes you wouldn’t be able to open them again.

“Do you think heaven exists?” You whispered in a small, thin voice. Spencer kissed your forehead, continuing to stroke your hair as his salty tears kept running down his cheeks.

“Of course it exists, all the angels are just waiting for you. I'm pretty sure you’ll be the most beautiful angel of all, dressed in white and with the light surrounding you.”

You giggled, only to be interrupted by yet another cough. You were so grateful to have Spencer, that even though he didn't believe in an afterlife, in heaven, in angels, still tried to make you feel better.

“I'm so tired baby…” you murmured, closing your eyes for a few seconds before opening them again.

He held you tighter, feeling more tears streak down his face. “I know my love, but you can rest, I’ll always be here I promise, I’ll never leave you.”

“Spencer, you are the greatest and most beautiful love I have ever had in life, you made me the happiest I've ever been and I want to thank you for everything, for everything you have done for me, for teaching me the truth meaning of love…” You took a deep breath. “I will love you forever, I hope you know that, in this world and wherever else I’ll go. I know we’ll meet again, even if not in this life, we’ll meet in next one.”

He shook his head in despair as he continued to sob and cry. He wasn't ready to say goodbye, he wasn't ready to let you go, but who he was kidding, he never would be.

“I love you so much my darling, I will always love you until my last breath.”

He kissed your forehead softly again, pressing his lips to your skin longer than expected as he tried to make the most of those last moments with you.

“You’re the best and most beautiful thing that has ever happened to me. I love you, always and forever,” he kept whispered, hugging you. But you couldn't hug him back.

You had closed your eyes and fallen asleep, in the arms of the person you loved most in the world where you always wished your last moments would be.

The room was filled with sounds from the monitor connected to your heart, which had started to slow down.

Your heartbeat had slowed.

More and more.

Until it stopped and all that was left was a flat line.

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 6 months

Note

AITA for not paying for my fiancee's trip?

(Sorry mod, sending this again as I forgot to add an important context detail)

This is going to be long, I'm so sorry!

Okay, so I (23M) am engaged to a very wonderful fiancee (27NB). She's fantastic, and I want to make it very clear that our relationship is great - we have good communication, we never argue, we're always on call without getting tired of each other, etc etc. There is just one issue we have - her financial habits.

For context, I am disabled and can't work due to both mental and physical health issues, so I'm on disability benefits. She can and does work.

We're long-distance (she's in America and I'm in the UK), and we've been dealing with it pretty well so far. At the beginning of our relationship, we agreed that before we got to the point of talking about moving in with each other etc. we would need to have her visit me here at least once to meet my family and get used to how things work here (as she wants to move here), and I would need to visit her at least once to do the same there re: meeting her parents etcetera.

The agreement was that I'd pay for her to come here, and then when it was my turn she'd pay for my visit there so it was fair.

She first visited me about a year and a half ago and came over here for two weeks. I paid for her plane tickets, our transport everywhere (we don't have cars), the AirBNB we stayed in, etc. This ran me about £2k, which was all I had at the time, and I didn't have enough left over to pay for her food on top of that, so I asked if she could cover her own food costs while she was here. This caused a bit of an issue at the time as she was very clearly frustrated at having to do it, and would make comments like "Ugh I wanted a new computer but now I have to save for this trip", "I'm having to sacrifice so much to pay for this" and it made me feel incredibly invalidated, like I was covering everything else and also sacrificing a lot to pay for everything else for us but the one thing I'd asked her to help with was too much. We had a conversation about it at the time and she apologised and said she'd work on it, so we moved on.

Plans changed a bit very early this year, as I was due to get surgery and the friend who was supposed to accompany me there dropped out last minute. I had no one else nearby to turn to and I couldn't go alone (it was the kind of surgery where I would need someone around for at least 1-2 weeks afterwards to help me move around and do daily tasks). As a last ditch effort I asked my fiancee to fly over again and help me out, and I paid for this again which I was completely fine with doing as the trip was a favour for me and it was unplanned from her end. This was another ~£2k.

So cut to summer this year. This was when I was supposed to have my visit over to America. She, at this point, was making pretty good money at a school job. However, when I asked her if we could finalise the plans and buy tickets, she told me that she had no money.

This is where I explain that she's really, REALLY bad with money. She impulse-buys clothes and things for her room etc., she plays gacha games like Genshin Impact and spends quite a lot of money on 'pulls' and the gambling mechanic, things like that. It turned out that through the whole time of having this job she'd been basically spending money as soon as she got it and she now had nothing for the trip. I was admittedly frustrated with her (especially as she initially lied to me and told me she hadn't spent money on games etc. and then later confessed that it IS where the money had gone), but we agreed we could push back the trip to winter/Christmas-time to give her more time to save, and honestly I didn't really mind because I've never spent Christmas/New Year with anyone before, so shifting the visit to over those days would be a nice experience.

However, soon after this she was fired from her job for too many call-outs/absences. For the next few months, she didn't get another job - she said she was doing all she could and was applying for, but I often got the impression that she wasn't and was sort of throwing out an application every few weeks and then writing it off as 'done', which I could be completely misinterpreting so take that with a grain of salt. I kept pushing her to get a job so we could get the trip sorted out and I know she got kind of frustrated with me a few times for it.

I ended up giving up the closer we got to the time and offered to just cover it again if she could pay me back when she did get a job, and she agreed.

Unfortunately, after this I was rendered homeless due to my abusive home situation. I was fortunate enough to be offered government housing and I now have an apartment in town, but it's completely unfurnished (literally all that's in it is a single bed and a cooker, there's no flooring or anything yet). I now have to put all the money I have saved (about £3k) towards getting flooring (which is a little over £1k by itself), furnishings, getting the walls painted, sorting out gas and electricity, etc. I'm also now paying the bills for this apartment. As a result, there's no possible way I could afford to cover the trip anymore myself.

It looked like things were getting sorted because my fiancee got another job recently. It's pretty well-paying, she seems to enjoy it so she's not calling out, and she kept prompting me to talk details of the trip with her so it felt like it was all getting figured out and she was ready to finalise it.

Then today I asked her how much money she had ready for it and she said... $15. I'm genuinely lost on how she still hasn't saved any money, she claims she used it all on "bills" but she doesn't pay rent or cover any housing costs as she still lives with her parents, so I don't understand at all where it's all going. We have less than a month before the trip is supposed to happen, nothing is sorted, we still have no clue where we'd be staying, no plane tickets have been purchased, and now it's looking a lot like it's going to have to be pushed back AGAIN to next year.

I thought about trying to pay for it again, because I DO really want that Christmas and New Year with her. Delaying it again would also mess up our future plans, as the plan was to get this trip to America and meeting her family done this year, then spending the first half of next year on the Visa process and then the latter half getting her actually moved over. It also means I would have to delay my college education, as I was going to start my course early next year, which I wouldn't be able to do if the trip is next year instead as it would require me to take weeks off.

If I tried, I probably could cover it - I need to spend the ~£1k on flooring as that's already arranged, but I could technically use the remaining £2k to fund the trip. However, this would mean my house would remain unfurnished and barely habitable for months longer. It's not so bad if I know she'd be able to pay me back quickly, but the reality is that I don't know how long it would take for me to see the money back.

Part of me also feels like she's kind of expecting me to give in and pay for it last minute in order to not delay it, because I offered before and I was willing to pay for the last two trips. But it's just so depressing and frustrating, because it feels like I keep giving things up and putting things into these trips and getting her over here, and trying to get it back from her is just like running into a wall.

We've talked about it before, but she insists there's nothing more she can do, she's trying as hard as she can, and that she's upset about it too. I just don't know what to do about it anymore.

So I guess my question is, AITA for complaining about the trip, missing Christmas/New Year and pushing her on money and nagging her about what she does with hers instead of just taking the L and covering the trip again until she can pay me back?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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photogirl894 · 2 months

Text

Oh my gosh, y'all, I was ready to throw hands with someone on the Star Wars Facebook page!! 😡😡 Angry rant ahead! Slight spoilers but not really...

It started off with the guy saying the new episode of Bad Batch was "another filler episode", (which that word makes me SO angry already) so I told him that word is so overused and this wasn't filler. I even broke down the points of each episode that contributed to the plot as well as character development. Then we kept going back and forth about it and he questioned if we watched the same episodes and I'm like "clearly not cuz you obviously missed the point!" and he said "we didn't need 3 episodes in the prison". I told him there were only 2 in the prison: the first and the third because the second was centered on Hunter and Wrecker. Then this asshat had the nerve to say "The second episode was horrible and I tend to block out every episode with Wrecker because he's the worst Star Wars character ever created after Omega"............ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh the absolute RAGE I felt when I saw he said that!! 🤬🤬

I so wanted to say, "well no wonder you're missing the point of the show cuz you're blocking out one of the best characters who's in pretty much every episode of the whole damn show!!!!"

But I was getting so mad that I just blocked him instead. I didn't wanna hear anymore of his wrong opinions. Though I did say before I blocked him "wow...just when I thought your opinion couldn't get any worse...you had to say THAT". Uuuggghhh I was furious! I honestly still am!

Nobody...and I mean NOBODY...talks about my boy, Wrecker, like that!!!!! He is a wonderful, sweet, funny and complex character that has more emotional maturity in his pinky finger than that guy could ever hope to have! He's incredibly kind, intelligent and is in tune with his emotions. He might not know a lot about technology or things like that, but he knows how to disassemble an explosive and makes a pretty good tank! He cares so much about his family and can bring a smile to anyone's face!

Ugh sorry...I got so mad seeing that comment from someone who clearly has no understanding of Wrecker's character and ZERO understanding of The Bad Batch in general. I'm so sick and tired of many people saying it has a bunch of "filler" episodes, which is 100% false! The show would do so much better if more of the freaking SW fandom had better media literacy, but clearly, that ship sailed long ago 🙄

I love this show so much and I will defend it to my last breath against anyone who dares to say it's nothing but "filler" or anyone who dares to insult ANY of my boys or my little blonde angel!!!

#star wars the bad batch #the bad batch #bad batch season 3

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finleyforevermore · 1 month

Text

Hey guys! How've we been since I've been away? Hm? Not good? Yeah, I thought so.

I was AFK (which means Away From Keyboard for those who weren't aware, or didn't think to Google it /nm) because my mom had taken away my phone for a bit but I could still use it to help with my math homework.

I did lurk around Tumblr a bit, and I did "officially" come back online for a bit, but I mostly lurked.

And how delightful it was to see (can not clarify enough how sarcastic this is) that someone I follow but am not moots with decided that March 20th was the day they were doing to commit suicide. They did not succeed. But they sure as hell scared the fuck out of me. Same story I've seen before with my other friends, abusive parental figure, and possibly SA'd like some of my other friends. Lovely.

And then ANOTHER friend as it turns out has an extremely abusive mother and got fucking strangled by aforementioned mother, then said in the posts of a vent post, "something something maybe she should've killed me".

Being technically AFK I had to go on anon for a bit and try my damndest to prove to my friend that their mother is beyond saving, and there's no use seeing her in a positive light, and they by no means deserve what happened to them. I don't know if it worked. If you see this, I'm sorry if I came off as rude. But that really was the straw that broke the camel's back.

I'd been trying to keep together fairly well but I had been thinking of Liam, Nex's death was ruled a suicide (and now his murderers will not be charged), all of my other friends are traumatized and now I've discovered another friend has an abusive parent, and someone tried to fucking kill themselves.

And so, we have this. This song has been my coping mechanism for the past several weeks and what I can best describe as my theme song. Whenever I see something tragic with either my friends or someone else my first thought is the words of this song. Largely because of the themes of getting salvation for the unjust wrongs done upon Sweeney or in this case my friends.

I really don't know why I was blessed to know such wonderful incredible beautiful people only for them to suffer relentlessly and have gallons upon gallons of trauma.

Do bad things happen? Sure. But with my friends it's non-stop. One traumatic event after another after another after another and I'm. Just so done. I'm so sick. And I'm so tired. Of everything. Of all the pain and suffering. Of the fact I can't do anything. Of the fact I feel too much. This probably shouldn't be impacting me so much but for some reason it is.

I would've been apprehensive posting this because I'm kind of self-conscious about my voice but some of my friends are suffering 24/7 so I think my voice is the last thing I should be worrying about.

Enjoy if you want. Or don't. That's ok too. Love you guys.

@literatureisdying

#voice reveal #tw abuse #tw sa mention #tw sa #tw parental abuse #tw parental issues #tw child abuse #tw sui ideation #tw sui talk #tw sui attempt #tw suicide #epiphany #sweeney todd: the demon barber of fleet street #sweeney todd the demon barber of fleet street #sweeney todd #epiphany sweeney todd #finley sings a song! 💚🎧

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my-soupy-brain · 4 months

Note

ted and y/n go visit dottie for the holidays and she keeps nagging at ted that he let himself go since she last saw him and y/n jumps to his defense 🥰

It's getting close to the holiday so I wanna squeeze this in. I think this could be really sweet with a little angst. So let's gooo!

---

Relationship: Ted Lasso x reader

Warnings: Angst + comfort + cuteness

---

Ted took a deep breath as he parked the rental car in front of his mother's house in Kansas.

"You okay, babe?" you ask, squeezing his big, warm hand. He tries to smile but you can see the worry bunched between his brows and in his deep hazel eyes.

"We'll be okay. I promise," you answer, kissing his hand, his smile growing.

Everything goes alright at first. Dottie wraps you both in a big hug, she's smiley and pleasant. You have a lovely dinner she made -- homemade barbecue and cornbread, Ted's favorite. Afterward, she offers coffee or something to drink, and you and Ted take your seats in the living room.

You smile and marvel at the photos of a younger Theodore Lasso, his eyes bright with round apple cheeks, all over the walls in various sports uniforms and photos with him and his mom.

Ted starts to relax on the sofa, his hand still holding yours, when Dottie brings out coffee and sets it on the coffee table in front of you.

"Thank you," you smile, and she gives a terse, rigid smile in return.

A little icy. But let's proceed.

"So, how was your flight?" she asks brightly, taking a sip. "I can't imagine a flight that long."

You chuckle and smile. "It wasn't so bad. We had one layover that was short and sweet, but we got here in once piece and that's what matters."

Ted smiles.

"I like the color you painted the shutters," he says, leaning forward a little. "Looks nice."

Dottie waves it off. "Oh, that? Mrs. Benson's son Robert did that for me. He's always home doing handiwork on her house."

Ted clears his throat. "That's nice, Momma."

Dottie continues, "Yeah, he's there all the time. He visits her often, actually, even if not just for home improvements. She's really lucky."

Ted clears his throat again and looks down, his hands wringing together nervously.

"It's too bad I can't say the same for you..."

She takes a self-confident sip of coffee and smiles tightly at us again and I take a breath.

"It's hard for us to get home, with Ted's job and my job. I'm glad Mrs. Benson can have that time with her son, but some jobs just aren't so flexible," you offer. Dottie's face goes stern.

There's a beat of silence that feels like an hour.

"Robert also has been running in some local charity 5Ks," she say, talking about this woman's son as if it were her own.

Ted looks up at her. His breath is stalled as he waits for what he assumes is coming.

And it does.

"You could use some runnin' in your life, Teddy. You're gettin' a little tire in the middle there. London food that fatty?"

Nope. Not on your watch.

"Excuse me. Mrs. Lasso," you offer.

"Dottie," she corrects.

"Fine. Dottie. Your son is just fine the way he is. He's handsome and brilliant. He's brought an incredible skill to this team of young men they never had before," you offer, she interrupts.

"Ha! What's that, showin' how to feel sorry for yourself?"

You take a deep breath in your nose.

"The opposite. How to heal yourself. How to be better. How to move forward. How to be honest with yourself and with each other," you start, and you let the next words tumble. "Something you could stand to learn from."

"Excuse me?!"

"You heard me."

Dottie sits and stares at you while you glower at her. How dare she rub Ted's face in all these things -- not visiting enough, not being trim enough. What kind of mother is she?

"I am madly in love with your son because most of all he's a good person. He puts everyone first except himself!"

She sighs, feels a tinge of guilt rush through her body, and sips her coffee.

"And above all else, he's perfectly exactly as God or the universe made him. Every inch of him. Inside and out. He's perfect," you say the last part softly, looking back at Ted, who's leaning against your hip now, his eyes teary at your defense of him.

Your fingers stroke his hair and he sucks in a breath.

"Momma, I've been goin' to therapy back in London," he starts. "And she's been..."

"Lemme guess," Dottie holds up her hand. "I'm the root of all evil?"

"Let him finish," you scold her, and she shuts her mouth.

"No, but there's a lot of things from... after dad died that I didn't get to process then. And it's affectin' me now. And I think it would do you some good to see somebody, too."

Dottie laughs.

"Ted, I'm just fine. I took care of you, raised you, and I didn't need any help."

"You did though, Momma. You just didn't know how to ask for it."

Dottie takes a breath but doesn't answer.

"I'm learnin' that nothin' I could've done could've saved Daddy," Ted says, tears in his eyes. "And all I can do now is show up for the people I love, and show up for myself. Not live to some standard that can't be reached."

"And you're doing a lovely job, sweetheart," you whisper, sitting next to him and grabbing his hand. "You've come so far."

Dottie watches the dynamic between the two of you -- how comforting you are, how much he's grown, how honest he's being.

"When your daddy died, Teddy... I had one job: To raise you. I didn't stop moving until I knew you were safe and grown and headed in the right direction," she admits. "But you're right... I didn't take time for myself. And I probably shouldn't have tried to get things back to normal. I should've asked you if you're okay."

Ted nods and you squeeze his hand.

"Everyone can benefit from therapy, or at least talking to someone," you answer. "And we aren't all good at asking for help. Ted here was very nervous about starting therapy."

Ted nods and agrees. "Marriage counseling left a bad taste in my mouth."

Dottie nods, understanding what he means since Michelle and Dr. Jacob are dating.

You look at Dottie again.

"I know you feel like criticizing people is the way to help them, but it's not. We have to help ourselves first. And love each other for all our flaws and differences. But to me? Ted is perfect in every way. I wouldn't trade him in. I wouldn't change a thing about him."

Ted's eyes marvel at you while you say this with full confidence. He squeezes your hand and you squeeze back.

Dottie smiles and sits back in her chair, a look of defeat.

"I'm sorry to disappoint you with my unending love for your son," you chide, trying to lighten the mood.

Dottie smiles after a breath. "No, I appreciate ya sayin' all that. I really do. I guess... I just assume since he's not here much anymore..."

"Ya know what they when we assume, Momma," Ted says, smirking. "Makes an 'ass' of 'u' and 'me.'"

She smiles brightly at his joke. Eventually, the conversation returns to normal. Dottie listens to Ted's stories about the team, life in London. About how the two of you spend your weekends. You offer her to come out and visit sometime.

By the time you leave, she gives both of you a big hug, grateful to have the time, grateful to be together.

"We'll be back over tomorrow for Christmas dinner," Ted says, pulling away. Dottie nods and smiles.

Ted is quiet in the rental car on the drive back to the hotel.

"You okay there, sugar bear?" you ask, trying to use a rhyming nickname. He looks at you and grabs your hand, kissing it again.

"I'm happy. For the first time in a long time, especially here in this town, I'm happy."

...

Once in the hotel, Ted changes into some soft joggers and a tshirt, and you do the same. You curl up on the bed together, showered and clean, ready to sleep comfortably.

Ted crawls up to you, his head on your chest so you can rub his back and play with his hair.

"You did good today, babe. I'm proud of you," you whisper, kissing the top of his head. His long arms squeeze around you a little tighter.

"Couldn't have done it without ya, sugar," he replies quietly.

"Yeah, you could. If it had been you there alone, you could've."

He takes a breath and moves to pull you into his chest now.

"I'm not sure how this journey'd go without you by my side."

You smile and kiss his chest gently.

"Well I'm here for a long time, not just a good time," you answer with a smile, his own painted across his face as he pulls you closer to his body, turning out the lamp.

---

I wasn't sure how this should go but I've met parents who brag about their friends' children as a way to get their own child to do something. It's real shitty, and something I could see Dottie doing. So... there we have it.

#ted lasso x reader #ted lasso fanfic #ted lasso fanfiction #ted lasso fluff #ted lasso x you #ted lasso angst

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storiesforallfandoms · 7 months

Text

bad idea, right? ~ joseph quinn

word count: 2789

request?: no

description: yes, i know that he's my ex, but can't two people reconnect?

pairings: joseph quinn x female!reader

warnings: swearing, rpf

masterlist (one, two, three)

semi based on this song

We didn't intend on reconnecting. It was a complete accident. A coincidence, even. We were both out with our friends at the same bar. It had been months since we broke up, and it was one of my first outings post-break up. Despite the fact that the relationship hadn't ended poorly, it was still hard to process. I spent a lot of nights crying to rom-coms with my friends afterwards.

I didn't expect to see him there. Actually, for once, I had fully forgotten that Joseph even existed. I was just excited to be out for the night, to have a good time with my friends.

It wasn't even me who saw him first. One of my friends, Fiona, who is incredibly sweet but also incredibly lightweight, gasped and leaned towards me to ask, "Isn't that Joseph?!"

Lynn, my best friend, elbowed Fiona as I whipped around to see where she had been looking. As she said, there he was - the beautiful, chocolate button eyed man I had been in love with for so long. He hadn't seen me yet. He was at the bar with a few of his friends, sat around and chatting. My heart started to pound as I turned back to my friends.

"Do you want to leave?" Lynn asked.

"No," I said. "I let him keep me from having fun for long enough. I'll just...avoid him as much as I can. Maybe he'll do the same if he sees me."

Lynn gave me a skeptical look, but decided to respect my wishes.

For the most part, the plan was a success. The girls and I moved to the dance floor once we all had enough drinks in us, and Joseph became a distant after thought.

That was, until I stumbled off the dance floor to get myself some water. I could tell that the alcohol was starting to get to me in a way that I would regret in the morning if I didn't try to sober up a little bit. I pushed through the crowd at the bar and asked the bartender for an ice water. I wasn't paying attention to my surroundings as I waited, until I heard a familiar voice say, "(Y/N)?"

That voice sobered me up better than any water could.

I turned to see Joseph stood basically right next to me. He looked as shocked as I felt. I opened my mouth to say something, but nothing came out. Luckily, the bartender gave me my water, so I used that as an excuse to try and get away.

"Wait!" Joseph said, reaching out to grab hold of my arm. He quickly let go just as soon as he grabbed me. "Sorry. I just...I didn't expect to see you."

"I didn't expect to see you, either," I said.

"Are you...here with anyone?"

I knew what his question meant, and I was a little surprised to hear him ask. "Just my friends. Lynn and the girls."

Is that relief I see on his face?"

"I'm here with the guys," he said, gesturing over his shoulder towards his friends. "I just got home from filming, they wanted to celebrate me being back."

"Aren't you tired from being away filming for so long?"

Joseph sighed, as if me asking him that lifted a weight off of his chest. "I'm so tired. I had such a long flight, too, but the lads wanted to go out right away because they're all busy the next few days."

"How long are you in town for?"

"Indefinitely. I have nothing else lined up right now until I have to do promo for A Quiet Place: Day One."

Why did I ask that? He's going to think I want to see him while he's home. I can't see him. We're broken up, I've mourned this relationship and let it go.

But have I? If I had, why did I ask him how long he's in town for? Why am I still here talking to him when I'm sure he would let me walk away if I tried to.

"It's good to see you," he said.

"It's good to see you, too," I said. I was surprised to find that I meant it, too.

We both stood in silence for a moment. I knew I should walk away, just end this whole interaction and go out separate ways. But my feet just wouldn't move. I just stood there, looking at him, every good memory I had from our year long relationship running through my mind. Despite my attempts to try to move on from our relationship the last few months, I was suddenly overwhelmed with a desire to pull him in and kiss him.

"Can we meet up while I'm home?" he asked. "Just...talk about things?"

Bad idea! Do not say yes!

"Yeah, okay," I responded.

Stupid!

His eyes lit up. "Okay. Um, do you have the same phone number?"

I nodded, unable to form the one word response. He still had my phone number? I thought he would've deleted it, considering he was the one who ended our relationship. I still had his, but only due to the fact that I had memorized it. Lynn deleted his number from my phone, but I never told her I had added it back in about a week later after a particularly hard night.

"I'll text you tomorrow, yeah?"

I nodded again. He smiled and reached out as if he were going to hug me. He hesitated, so I closed gap instead, grateful for the contact.

I thought he wouldn't remember, so I didn't bring it up to my friends. I didn't even tell them that I had been talking to him. I figured it was just one time, one night of momentary happiness, before I fell back into the sea of despair over my ended relationship.

So, imagine my surprise when I got a text message the next morning that read, "hey, i understand if you changed your mind, but that offer to meet up is still open."

As you can probably imagine, Lynn wasn't happy when I told her.

"You what?!"

I winced. "I didn't think he'd remember! It was late enough into the night that I figured he was a few drinks deep, and by the morning he wouldn't remember even seeing me."

"So you're not actually going to see him, right?"

I looked down at my lap, unable to look her in the eye.

Lynn groaned, "(Y/N)..."

"I know, I know. It's a bad idea to go."

"It's a terrible idea! You're still trying to get over your breakup. Going to meet up with him is just going to open old wounds."

She was right, and I hated that she was right. I had this sliver of hope that maybe meeting up with Joseph would result in us rekindling our relationship, but I knew that was unlikely. Joseph had broken up with me months ago because of how quickly his career had suddenly taken off after Stranger Things. It was like he went from a low profile actor to one of the most sought after actors. First it was Hoard, which was filmed right after Stranger Things. Then he was cast in A Quiet Place: Day One, which was an insanely big deal. And then right after that was Gladiator 2, an even bigger deal.

Between filming and press tours, I knew I wasn't going to see Joseph very often. That revelation hurt, but I knew he was happy, and if he was happy then I was happy. I would push through the long nights of missing him, the mornings waking up and wishing he was in bed next to me, the lonely feeling in the pit of my stomach. All of it was worth it to see him thrive.

But, Joseph didn't see things the same way, apparently. Because, just before he left to film A Quiet Place: Day One, he sat me down and told me he thought it would be best for me if we broke up.

"I don't want you to always be waiting for me," he had said. "You deserve to be happy with someone who will always be around and can give you everything you want. And, with the way my career is going right now, I don't think I can be that person for you."

As much as I wanted this meeting to end with us getting back together, I knew it was highly unlikely that Joseph would've changed his mind. It had only been months, and he still had so much on his plate. Just because he was home now until he had to leave and do more promo didn't mean he suddenly was no longer busy.

Lynn was right, I shouldn't go to the meeting. It was a bad idea. But, at the same time, I couldn't bring myself to cancel it.

So, that's how I found myself in the coffee shop where Joseph and I had our first date, waiting for him to show up. I wondered if he had intentionally picked this place for us to meet, or if it had been a coincidence.

I wasn't sure which option would hurt less.

I looked up as the bell over the front door chimed, and the familiar face of the love of my life looked around the room. When his eyes landed on me, he smiled and made his way over to where I was sitting.

"Hey," he said as he slid into the booth across from me. "You're early."

"I wanted to make sure I got us a spot to sit. I expected it to be busier here today."

It was a Sunday afternoon, which I figured would be prime time for a coffee shop to be busy. Besides Joseph and I, there was only one other person in the place - someone who was typing away at a laptop a few tables over.

"I got you a coffee," I told him as I slid the cup towards him. "Your usual."

He beamed at me. "You remembered."

"It hasn't been that long since I was making you your usual," I reminded him.

He nodded and looked down at the cup in front of him. An awkward tension filled the air. I wondered if what I said was wrong. Should I have brought up our relationship? Were we going to pretend we hadn't dated for a year? That we hadn't talked about marriage and planning our futures together in that year?

"There's so much I wish I could take back," Joseph said, finally. "I wish I hadn't...I wish I hadn't been so stupid all those months ago."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

He sighed, the air from his mouth disrupting the steady flow of steam coming from his coffee. "I thought I was doing right by you by ending our relationship before my career got so hectic. I thought...I thought it would've been better for you if you could be with somebody who didn't have to be away for long periods of time and leave you by yourself."

"That wasn't really something for you to decide, though," I pointed out. "Not without talking to me first."

"I know."

"You just ended our relationship out of nowhere. I thought everything had been fine, and then suddenly..." I trailed off, feeling a lump form in my throat as I remembered that day months ago. I shook my head, trying to hold back any tears. "It was like the whole issue wasn't even up for discussion. You had decided we were over, that was it. The end."

"I know," he repeated. "And, God, do I ever feel like such a fucking idiot because of it."

"Good. You should, because you were an idiot."

I didn't say it maliciously, and luckily Joseph picked up on that. He chuckled. "Yeah, I was a massive idiot."

There was another moment of silence. I raised my coffee cup to my lips, blowing on it a little before taking a sip.

"I don't suppose there's any chance at trying to start over?"

The coffee slipped down my throat the wrong way as I reacted to his question. I quickly put the cup down and coughed up the hot liquid. The person a few tables over looked at us, interested but uncaring, before turning back to her laptop.

"Are you okay?" Joseph asked, a light chuckle in his voice.

"You couldn't have waited until after I swallowed to ask that?" I retorted.

"Okay, maybe that was bad on my part, you're right."

Once I had finally finished my coughing fit, I cleared my throat and sat up straighter to look at him.

"Are you serious?" I asked him.

"About starting over?" I nodded. "I am serious. (Y/N), you have to believe me when I say these last few months have been hell for me, too. I missed hearing your voice every day, or seeing your texts come in. When I got word that I was coming home for an indefinite period of time, I almost called you to tell you on instinct. I made the biggest mistake by breaking up with you. I know that will never go away and it will likely always be something that hangs over us, but I would do anything to prove to you how much I do still love you."

I was so sure I was dreaming. There was no way this was real. This was exactly what I had wanted to happen, so surely it must've been a dream, right?

But the burning in my chest from swallowing hot coffee the wrong way told me I wasn't dreaming. Joseph was actually here, sat across from me and looking at me with those big brown eyes that I loved so much, asking me if we could try to start over in our relationship. Obviously, I wanted to throw my arms around him and kiss him and tell him that of course I wanted to get back together with him. This was all I had wanted for months since we broke up. But, the more rational part of me (the part that sounded like Lynn, actually) told me not to go there just yet.

"You really hurt me, Joseph," I reminded him.

"I know I did. I know I'm sorry isn't enough, but I am so sorry for doing what I did to you."

"If we are giving this relationship another shot, then you have to promise me that you will talk to me about this stuff before you make big decisions like that. I understand that you were trying to think of me in that moment, but if you had talked to me before deciding to just break up with me, I would've told you that I wanted to be with you even if I don't get to see you for long periods of time. I was so happy for you to be getting those roles, Joe. I was excited to hear the stories from sets and to get to watch you grow. The feeling of loneliness was a very small price to pay if it meant getting to see you be happy."

He looked away from me again. "I guess...I didn't really think of it that way."

"Because you were being an idiot."

He smiled. "Yeah, I was."

"A colossal idiot."

"A mega idiot."

"A mega, colossal idiot."

We both laughed then. Joseph's hand started to reach out towards me, but then he hesitated. I reached out the rest of the way and intertwined my fingers with his.

"Will you give me another shot, (Y/N)?" he asked again. "I promise I will never be such a mega, colossal idiot again."

I nodded. "Of course I'll give you another shot."

His entire face lit up with happiness. He squeezed my hand before tugging on it, pulling me a little closer as he leaned over the table to kiss me. It was only a quick peck, like he was testing the waters, but it was all I needed. It was what I had been wanting for so long now, just to feel his lips against mine again.

When he sat back, his hand still in mind, I gave it another squeeze and asked, "Are you allowed to tell me any stories from A Quiet Place? Or is it all top secret, hush hush?"

He smiled. "You know I'd tell you anything, even if it was top secret."

And just like that, we fell back into a usual routine. It was as if the last few months apart had never happened. And I was more than happy to forget it had.

#joseph quinn #joseph quinn imagine #joseph quinn x reader #imagine #one shot #fanfic #fanfiction #rpf #real person fic #fandom

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