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chaletnz · 2 years

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Salt Lake Saturday

I'd dragged myself out of bed at 4:30am to get ready and eat some terrible Raisin Bran at the "buffet" breakfast before the shuttle driver took me to the airport. There was a magnificent pink sunrise which definitely helped lift my spirits as we drove down the road. Inside the airport was an insane queue of people waiting to go through security that wound around the entire lower level of the departures terminal. Luckily I had allowed extra time and even with the 40 minutes taken up getting through I still had time to people watch at the gate. I was checking the sizes of everyone else's backpacks to compare to mine and the guy standing opposite me had a similar sized bag so I figured I'd be fine - the attendant didn't bat an eye and that guy ended up sitting beside me on the plane. We chatted a bit and he was friendly, he couldn't give me any tips or suggestions on what to do but he tried to help me find the light rail to take me into the city which was an awkward 15 minute walk with this guy I didn't know but felt like I needed to walk at pace with... Eventually I saw it and ran because it was 1 minute to departure. The ticket machines were not working so after three attempts to buy one I just hopped on and hoped for no ticket patrollers. I sat through seven anxious stops and got off in the central city area to enjoy a perfect flat white and a scone at Three Pines Coffee. I'd tried many coffees around Summit County where I live, and when I was in Seattle but this was definitely the best one I'd had in the USA so far! The scone was a little bit small but the cafe was nice and I sat for a while to plan out my weekend. Before it got really hot I went for a wander downtown to the courthouse and Washington Square where they were sound-checking and setting up for a music festival that would start later. There wasn't too much else down this end of the city so I went to find somewhere I could put my contacts in and found a nice bathroom at the City Creek mall. With my vision comfortably restored I walked on to the next landmarks which were the Temple and Tabernacle - the two big Mormon sites that must be included in any visit to Salt Lake City. Unfortunately the Temple was covered up for renovations but I was able to get in the Tabernacle to watch someone playing the giant organ for a while. Everyone was super friendly and greeted me all around the gated area, but also on the streets outside as they passed by with their Bibles clutched close to their chests. I couldn't shake the thought that they were all trying to convert passersby though... My next adventure was a walk up the hill to the Utah State Capital building. Again, with no idea what to expect I was pleasantly surprised by the fact I could actually go inside. There was a protest in motion outside; a peaceful mob with angry signs calling their representatives to vote against criminalising abortions. Inside it was very quiet, and well let's just say that it's obvious that state money is first filtered through the government hands... It was beautifully appointed, with large statues, columns, and murals, shiny white tiles, and polished marble staircases. There were glass displays showcasing the best of Utah. According to one display the beehive is an old Mormon symbol for industry, perseverance and thrift. Early settlers had wanted to call the state Deseret after the word in the Book of Mormon meaning "honeybee", they didn't quite get the name but they did get a beehive on the official Utah state seal. I enjoyed a lunch of Chick-fil-A, and then after checking in to my hotel took another walk out to Trolley Square which was a station repurposed to be a mall. The Gilgal sculpture garden was nearby too which was cool, but of course full of stupid kids that ruined it by ignoring the ropes and climbing all over the artworks. I sat to watch the sunset at Sugar House Park with a punnet of blackberries and then rode back to my hotel. On the way I managed to catch a fleeting glimpse of East High School on the bus route - famous for being the setting of High School Musical!

#USA #Salt Lake City

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dangerous-advantage · 1 year

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🌠 💕 🔥 😂 !!

🌠 - past special interest? surprisingly, i can’t think of a ton that would quality as special interests rather than hyperfixations. i think genetics would count? (punnet squares my beloved)

💕- favorite thing?

generally, i enjoy media for certain characters or relationship dynamics. rottmnt is no different, except that i think another really big thing is how they handle donnie as a canonically autistic character.

i absolutely ADORE him and will constantly find myself smiling or mirroring his stumps when watching, which is unprecedented for me! never before have i just consistently enjoyed a character or their characterization in such a relatable way. makes me happy just thinking about it (:

🔥- how many special interests? like i mentioned, special interests and hyperfixations can be hard to kinda quantify. i find that i can only really have one “big” special interest/hyperfixation at any time (right now it’s rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles.) but i do have long-reaching ones: writing and neurodivergency (learning about/understanding it) are good examples. so i’d say generally only 1, with a few ancillary interests that pop up here and there.

😂 - something funny?

kinda answered this in the other ask, but it was somewhat of a non-answer (it’s hard to come up with one that doesn’t require an in-depth explanation of lore lmao). so here’s another one: in the bayverse tmnt movies, they made casey jones a fucking cop.

what an absolute and utter disgrace. not that those movies were amazing or anything but cmon. casey jones?? vigilante with a hockey stick?? a cop???????? i don’t think so

#ask game #thanks so much for the ask!! <3 #sorry i didn’t get to it earlier lmao i have been SWAMPED #dangerous dialogues #autism #special interests #rottmnt #tw long post #long post

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miekasa · 3 years

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pls do dad!armin hc I’M BEGGING YOU <3

Fine. FINE. Just this once... since it’s father’s day or whatever but this is the last one I swear 🙄🙄

He was very nervous to find out you were having a kid, but it turns out all of that was for nothing because he’s pretty good with them.

Still, Armin wouldn’t want too many kids—he would love all the ones you guys do have, but he doesn’t want a family as large as Jean’s or anything.

So you have one daughter and she is the center of his entire world. Nevermind the fact that even as an infant she clearly is a mommy’s girl, Armin still loves her with his whole heart, he’d give up anything for her.

She’s a pretty quiet kid, even as a baby. Not a lot of screaming or crying or kicking or whining—just a lot of sleeping. She’s almost scarily quiet... to the point where a few weeks after taking her home, Armin took her right back to the hospital because he was worried something might have been wrong with her hearing

A valid concern, but you admit it was a little funny seeing him fuss around and essentially try to cause a crying fit. Most other parents would kill to have a kid this quiet, and here was Armin snapping in your baby girls face trying to startle her.

Turns out nothing was wrong, the doctors (several, Armin wanted to be sure) assured you that her hearing was fine; she’s just a tired little bundle of joy. It’s gives Armin a lot of relief to know she’s perfectly healthy, but it does freak him out a little when he picks her up and she falls asleep within the next two minutes.

She does not get Armin’s blonde hair and he’s not upset about it. He’s not, really. Ask him, he’s perfectly fine with it. Not even a little bothered because he knows blonde is recessive. He gets it. Totally. Not bitter.

Truthfully, she looks... almost nothing like him at all, she’s all you, save for the shape of Armin’s eyes and his button nose; but just about everything else she gets from her mom. At first glance, you wouldn’t even be able to tell she was Armin’s kid.

Do you know how exhausted and bitter he is when he picks her up from school or whatever after school activities she has and they ask him for ID every single time 😭😭

She acts like him though, and as she gets older, it’s apparent she’s got his mind and curiosity and quite frankly, his ability to manipulate the two of you into getting her just about anything she wants.

Armin loves hanging out with her as she gets older, and he’s a pro with homework help, though she turns out to not need much help. She just pretends to because she likes spending time with Armin and counting dinosaurs with him.

Matching family pajamas for every holiday occasion: Christmas, Easter, New Year’s, St. Patrick’s day, hell even your birthdays. You all have matching pajamas and Armin loves it.

When she’s a baby, one of the first things Armin buys for her is a little plushy/stuffed animal, and you better believe it stays by her side through thick and thin. She’s very careful with it, even at five years old—she would never take it anywhere where it could potentially get dirty, and she keeps it in tip top shape. It’s her most prized possession.

At around that age for father’s day, she gets Armin a miniature/keychain version of the same plushy and he literally cries himself to sleep thinking about it it’s the cutest thing anybody has ever done for him. He wears it around with pride, happily telling people the lore of tiny stuffed animal hanging from his keys whenever they point it out.

Around that age is also when Armin realizes that maybe... maybe one more kid wouldn’t be too terrible. He grew up and only child and, yeah, he had Eren and Mikasa, but he always did wish he had a sibling...

You saw how your daughter turned out, so you don’t know why Armin is still sighs deeply when your son comes along and he also looks nothing like him 😭😭

He’s almost tempted to keep having kids until one of them at least resembles him a little bit. According to punnet squares if you had four at least one of them should look something like him right...

Unlike your daughter, your son cries for everything, and honestly, his older sister is the only one who can calm him down; virtually nothing you or Armin do can quiet him, but when his sister holds him, all is well in his world.

Armin feels kinda guilty using her as a baby-quieting machine but what else can you two do. Sometimes she just walks into your room while you and Armin are (unsuccessfully) trying to calm the crying baby, and she just sighs. Hops up on the bed, sits criss-cross in between you and Armin, and pokes her little brother’s cheek, “You’re being a crybaby.” And like magic, he starts to settle down.

(“This is probably not what they meant by gifted kid, but I swear she has a gift.”)

When that doesn’t happen tho, or the crying fit happens in the middle of the night, you can usually wake up to Armin curled up inside the baby’s crib, with your son on his chest, and Armin’s hands holding him close.

Armin spends a lot of time picking out their baby/booster seats and is 100% looking up and comparing the reliability of different brands. That goes for most things tho, from strollers to bibs, he’s done a thorough check on everything.

Obviously loves beach days with the kids, even if all your son can do is sit and splash his little baby hands around. Armin thinks it’s precious and he loves holding him up and dipping his little feet into the water.

His favorite thing tho is lining everyone up to leave footprints in the sand. He always takes a picture and keeps it as his homescreen.

Mikasa is the more trusted babysitter, but whether you two like or not, Eren is the favorite. There’s just something about him the kids like. Eren doesn’t have the same talent as your daughter, but even he can quiet down the crying toddler quicker than you can. (“They just recognize greatness.” “It’s just because you’re tall and your hand is big, shutup Eren.”)

They also really like Sasha, especially your daughter, and she very loudly proclaims that Mikasa and Sasha are her role models.

Blushes very easily whenever his kids poke at or kiss his cheeks. The one picture you have him and your daughter on Armin’s birthday with her hands around his neck giving him a kiss as he blows out his candles is one of his favorites.

He tries to become a better cook, but it doesn’t work out, so he leaves that you. What he does get good at is bath time and doing hair. Braids, twists, ponytails, headbands, bows, the whole show, he becomes a pro.

He’s a fucking wreck when you send them off to school/daycare for the first time. He made fun of Eren for not being able to make it through one work day after his paternity leave was up, but Armin is hardly any better. He doesn’t end up staying at home like Eren, but it is a big adjustment for him, and he can’t say he enjoys leaving them at all.

When your daughter learns how to read, it’s her that reads bedtime stories to him. And Armin sits there and listens like she’s the greatest storyteller in the world and always applauds her for her reading skills.

For whatever reason, one of the few things your son likes to fall asleep to is the sound of Armin typing on his computer, so he beings to use it to his advantage; he saves just a bit of work to do from home in the evenings, and conveniently does it all right before bedtime.

Speaking of which everyone, yourself included, gets a little kiss on the forehead before bed. Two on your birthdays.

#anonymous #anyways...........#armin x reader #aot x reader

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hearteyes-for-killmonger · 3 years

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Part 24: Appearance

Erik shuffled down the aisle of the train car, crutch nudged snuggly into his armpit and a suitcase half his size rolling behind with a heavy looking duffel. No one offered assistance and he didn't ask. As a black man, he could always count on that as a consistency. Crutches and all, he'd be viewed as overly capable. From a young age it was ingrained through experience.. all you have is yourself because no one out here will help you, a young black man. Time had proven it again and again. Injured, he could still handle more weight than the average man and it was because he pushed himself. He relied only on himself. Even hospitalized, he found ways to maintain his strength. Weakness and laziness was never an option, not even for recovery. With all his money, that was still something he couldn't afford. But they could.. the white couple on the left. He couldn't help but notice them sitting there.

A closer look told him they weren't actually a couple. The blonde girl's face screamed underage. Fifteen/sixteen. The heavy makeup she wore aged her. She looked high. Heroin, Erik guessed glancing subtly for track marks. She looked up and he glanced away to a Spanish speaking family with five kids including a crying baby. He bit his lip on his way to take his seat at the rear where he could see everyone. The man in front of him was on his way to sleep. Erik put in his earbuds and continued his watch.

As the hours passed, he noticed more and more. The kids had no home training. The parents had no sense of awareness considering they sat opposite a fifteen year old girl being held against her will. It could easily be one of their kids, with them not paying attention it wouldn't take much. The baby had the healthiest lungs of any baby he'd ever heard. That blonde girl was high as hell. She got up to use the bathroom on his side of the train and he kept his eyes down as she passed with her trafficker on her ass to make sure she ain't try nothing risky. Ain't none of my black ass business, Erik told himself. He hadn't signed up to save any little blonde girls. He kept his eyes down as they passed him again to return to their seats and she dropped a tiny earring on the floor next to his foot on purpose. Damn, he groaned dropping his head on the back of the seat. Why me? I just said I ain't wanna get involved in this shit.

Taking a deep sigh, he picked up the earring and did what made sense. He googled the train police department and texted in a report using his sub contact phone, the main phone. He gave a description of the couple and information regarding the train. You're welcome, he thought watching the back of the girl's head before settling back in his seat comfortably. Any other time he'd have ignored her, not that victims often reached out to him so clearly. Still, it was an unnecessary risk calling on police. What if they decided to search the train? The whole point of taking the train was to not be searched.

Y/N would be proud right now, his lip twisted in irritation. She'd become the true north of his moral compass. What would Y/N do in the situation? The thought made him nauseous. She wouldn't survive his lifestyle. He wouldn't survive it with her morals. This is dangerous. We are completely incompatible, but I still want you, he admitted to himself. It was more like need. Obsession even. There was a burning feeling in his gut. "This shit ain't healthy," he muttered.

-----

"Wow, may I..," Tanner's fingers hover in the air, his eyes on your fresh braids. Your eyebrows answer before you can and he lowers his hand with a smile. "Those braids are really something. Would it be offensive if I asked how they're attached?" He looks so fascinated. He's been staring and talking to the top of your head since he saw you this morning in the lobby and now he's staring just as hard from across the small booth table at Pho Station.

"You just buy braiding hair and braid it into your hair. That's literally it."

"Braiding hair.. what's that?" His head rests on his hand as his elbow sits on the table. He's so curious, staring dreamily.

"It's packs of hair you get at the store specifically for braided styles." You slurp in a spoonful of long noodles.

"Is it human hair?"

"Synthetic." It comes out muffled as you break off the noodles hanging from your mouth with a chopstick so you can swallow.

"Synthetic? What's the difference..," his blue eyes drift lazily down to your nearly black ones. "Well, I mean in how they look."

"Human hair is typically Malaysian or Brazillian, something like that. You can straighten or curl it because it's actual hair. Synthetic fibers can melt but it's inexpensive and can mimic hair textures well."

"Well it's beautiful," he nods. "I've always wondered about it. Does it hurt?"

"Mm-mm," you grumble slurping the broth of your chicken pho. "No these are knotless and they don't hurt." That confuses him so you get into the difference between regular box braids and knotless. "You can't even sleep when you first get regular box braids because it's so tight that's why I don't wear them."

"Yes.. don't wear them if they hurt. Don't wanna pull out all that beautiful hair.." His eyes hold a familiar twinkle. The way he stares.. it reminds you of Erik. You don't wanna think about the meaning of it.

"Damn right.. Hey your pho's gonna get cold."

"Oh," his brows raise in faux offense. He picks up his soup spoon looking away for the first time. It's about time. "Well these.. knotless braids," he gestures with the spoon, "They look amazing on you," he smirks. "But you're already gorgeous, you know that."

"This from a Gene Kelly/James Dean lookalike. You look like you belong in a Marvel movie. That dark hair.. chiseled jaw? And who do you get those eyes from?"

"My grandma. My mom's eyes are carmel brown and so are my sister's. My father's are a darker brown."

"Punnet square kicked in hard."

"So tell me where your features come from," his eyes twinkle, hands folded under his strong chin. Your heart nearly skips a beat. It took a while for you to admit it to yourself because you'd have to admit you were lowkey using him.. but you knew what he was doing and how he felt from the start. That look was infatuation.

Opening doors, calling on me, paying for lunch every time, bringing me coffee? It's a lot.. Well that's because he likes me.. No It could be friendly, doesn't mean he likes me.

Almost everyday you told yourself the same thing.

I don't want him as anything more than a friend, maybe a work husband now that I know he's a cool lil white boy. I think he knows that..

Not when you flirt back he doesn't know that..

But is it really flirting or being nice? Besides I think he might feel the same.

A look into his eyes slams that possibility.

Who am I kidding. Maybe it's wrong to let him pay. Is that selfish?..

Girl, you're not dumb you know exactly what you're doing..

No, but really, I enjoy his company. I look forward to our little lunch outings as much as he does..

Then pay for yourself!..

I KNOW, but I don't.. want to...

Blinking, you sigh clearing your guilty conscience. "I look exactly like my dad but my personality is my mom."

"Oh really. That's where you get those adorably chubby cheeks from? Your dad? Interesting family photos I bet."

"Believe it or not that's also where I get this tummy and all this ass from," I say straight faced watching his cheeks sink in. On that note, he buries himself in his pho and I watch him hold himself together, the both of us laughing on the inside.

"You're ridiculous," he smiles down at his bowl. "What will I ever do with you.."

"Hopefully keep feeding me."

"Of course, Barb told me about a BBQ place about fifteen minutes from here. How about tomorrow?"

"Then I can show you pictures of my bootylicious father," you stare watching him collect himself again.

"Wow," he chokes on his broth. "Or we can look at yours, completely up to you."

-----

Never had it felt so good to be coming or going. Erik wheeled his bags through the station coolly, but internally he was leaping for joy like a little kid. After touching down in every continent through the military as a soldier and then a mercenary soldier, he was used to traveling. New locations, customs, and languages were the norm. War, battle, and toppling small countries for their resources and political control was the norm. It wasn't right, but it made big money and when his service ended, he retired. However, that didn't change the fact that he was still a multilingual and adaptable war weapon with no other real skill or interest other than killing. He was good at it so he made it a business. A consultant was what he called himself. Gameplay and development was the front.

Life as an assassin made him his own boss. He could kill and go off the map at will. He'd travel as far as it took to complete the task and take cash or cryptocurrency which he'd translate into several offshore accounts before his domestic ones. He'd usually buy a throwaway car, restock his ammo, spend time sunbathing on a yacht in the Maldives, hunker down in a city where he blended in and then isolate for a month wallowing in a small room before his next kill. Sightseeing wasn't on his agenda. He'd been all over the world and seen the worst of human nature. Texas had been a first as far as experiencing the high points anywhere. He'd enjoyed his stay with a woman and they'd gone on dates, real dates. He'd gone to an amusement park of all places and taken her around the city. It was magical though he'd almost been killed for it. Texas.. Not Cartagena or Havana or Jaipur but country ass Texas. Now here he was finally back in Cali. Nothing came close to the joy of having someone waiting for him. Someone who'd be overjoyed to see him. His job was done, his leg was healing up nicely, no one was after him because he'd left no one alive that could easily identify him. He was on his way home.

Home, he smiled somewhat bitterly. More like playing house.. Ain't none of this shit real and eventually it will end, probably in disaster.

Still.. He couldn't drop the facade for it was filling a hole within him that he hadn't realized until recently could be filled. He had latent desires. Playing house with her was the closest to a home he'd ever get.

-----

Erik's car takes premium gas and you wonder about his bills. Is he paying them? 'Cause you're not. He'd better have it worked out because once the lights go out in this isolated grand establishment, you're gone. You've gotten too used to walking around with every bright light in the house on at night. Walking through the bathroom butt naked you light the very last of his pricey looking black label white candles having burned through the rest of his supply. This one's Leather scented, not the best but not bad. That's why it was last. Locking the bathroom door out of habit, you run the shower and enjoy the luxurious spa room you've become accustomed to. The water pressure still hits. The warm thick white towels are fresh from the dryer. Your body is hairless from shaving and you've just purchased a new body oil to try that Ava swears by. Though you're only going to bed, you can't resist it. It smells like like fresh baked cookies from the oven and makes your skin radiate golden. It's perfect for a pool party or the beach.. whenever you end up going again which may be a while. Taking a few suggestive shiny body selfies in the towel, you decide to go ahead and send them to Erik though he doesn't deserve them. Someone has to see your glass skin. You hadn't spoken to him in the last two days as he'd been "busy". Doing what, you had no clue. It felt like bullshit. All of it. It was maddening to the point that you didn't want to care anymore, whether he returned or stayed. He'd been gone too long. Waaay too long. His reasons for wanting you out of Texas were beginning to feel like lies.

There's probably a huge harem of harlot whores he's entertaining and he doesn't want me to know he lied about only having three submissives, the asshole. He's probably in some twisted unsanitary orgy in a dark and questionable dungeon drinking glowing lime jello shooters and getting blackout drunk right now.. Probably whipping some poor girl with one of those long cowboy whips. God knows what he does with his other subs. If he was that dirty with Lil Bitch's morally debased ass and that was in front of me...

Every now and again the thought would cross your mind. Fuck him, you thought. Stay gone. I'll keep living here alone in the lap of luxury.

Never before had you been in a hot tub so often. It did wonders for a post work unwind with a smoothie or herbal tea in hand. You didn't need him when you had wifi, cable, powerful A/C, and a full fridge. He could stay with whoever he was with.

But what if he doesn't come back, your mind wonders darkly. What if he stays in Texas and never comes back?

Suddenly the house seems a lot chillier and unwelcoming.. Empty even. Too quiet. Hugging yourself for comfort you wander through the house and turn each of the lights off one by one to get an idea once more just how dark it gets. Too dark. Pitch black. You can't even see a hand in front of your face and panic sets in along with a strong inner body chill. This isn't something you can do and if Erik never comes back...

Honestly you've never seriously considered that possibility. The thought brings a loneliness that echoes the depth of darkness, both equally terrifying. The fact is that you do care.. profoundly to the point that his continued absence really bothers you. He has already become an indestructible pillar in your everyday life. Going days without so much as a hello feels like a week and that doesn't do much good for your anxiety.

Flipping each of the lights back on, you settle into Erik's bed this time around and stare at the time until you doze off. When you open your eyes there's natural light coming in through the window and you take a grateful breath before sitting up in the bed.

"Good morning," a chilling voice interjects and you nearly have a heart attack, unable to scream in the face of Flu sitting on the edge of the bed watching you. You want to run, scream, fight, anything but your body which is frozen in absolute fear and shock will not move. He smiles and you dart upright in bed sweating cold bullets and panting. Outside is still dark. According to the clock you've been sleep three and a half hours. It's 3:30 AM. Taking a deep breath to calm your breathing you look around the room comforting yourself with the mantra "It's just a dream. You're okay. You're okay. There's nothing to worry about. You've been safe and you're still safe. You're completely safe." A few minutes of repeating it and looking around, listening closely to the air has you relaxed enough to fall back asleep especially since your eyes are crossing up. When your eyes open again you check the clock. It's been almost another hour but you keep waking up.

Hold up. Didn't I have the light on?

Thinking back, your half sleep mind isn't completely sure but you know you sleep with the lights on. Nervous to move, your wide eyes search the pitch blackness before you and when you get the courage to move, you turn over bracing yourself to see Flu sitting there beside you on the bed. Nothing's there or out of the ordinary.

Did the lights go out? Did it blow? I think I had it on...

It's not getting up to explore. That's how people fir in movies. Instead, you bury your head in the covers like a small child and slip back into sleep. Or at least almost. Before you can cover your eyes with the blanket, you hear something that sounds like a slight vibration. That would be normal.. if your phone wasn't all the way downstairs.

A hand clamps over your mouth and as you feel a body quickly cover yours you grab at the darkness in attempt to gouge, scratch, and scrape whatever you can reach. When you pull locs, your brain registers and you yank them hard to get a noise.

"AHH," he whisper screams.

"ERIK WHAT THE FUCK?!" This time your lungs are free and healthy because you yell directly in his ear, slapping at him. "YOU ALMOST GAVE ME A HEART ATTACK." Breathless, you try to catch it, still swinging. "Why would you do that! What the fuck is wrong with you!"

"I wanted to surprise you," he grips your hands. "I didn't think you'd try to rip my damn hair out! And why your nails so sharp!"

"Are you mentally deficient? In what world did that seem like a good idea to you?!"

"Catch your breath," he says quietly.

Getting up he flips the lights and sits on the bed beside you. You haven't seen him in what feels like ages. "You still having nightmares." It's not a question as he looks in your tired eyes.

"Not often, just a couple of times since I've been on my own here." You didn't really have them when you two were together. He nods understanding your meaning. You hadn't mentioned it on the phone or through text. What could he have done about it anyway? There's a moment of silence as he rests his hand over your blanketed leg.

"I'm sorry for being away so long..," he says quietly. "I mean it. I'm sorry for scaring you.. I honestly didn't consider the nightmares because when we were together you didn't have them. I promise you, you are safe. He can't hurt you. There are many things in this world that can, but I promise he's not one.. and as long as I'm here I won't let anyone touch you. I will protect you with my life."

"That's good and all," you sigh, half listening and half asleep already. "But can you just.. stay here with me until I fall asleep."

"You in my bed," he smiles climbing fully dressed under the blanket to scoop you into his arms. Instantly your body clings to his and his shirt becomes your new pillow. You feel the quick sensation of his lips on your temple. "Did you miss me," he whispers. You mean to respond, but instead you fade out asleep.

-----

As soon as he'd slipped into the bed, she was knocked, sleeping soundly and breathing loud. He stroked her braids, her arm, and her back gently but firmly the way he always had when she needed help to relax.

"I missed you," he whispered into her forehead. She responded with a small fart and his nose crinkled. He didn't smell it which meant it was trapped under the blanket. She did it once more just then but it was louder. She'd be horrified if she were awake. "Y/N," he groaned hoping he wouldn't smell it. He didn't dare move though. He only sighed and continued rubbing her back. "Stink," he nicknamed her on the spot. "My lil stink stink," his stomach jumped in humor thinking of her reaction in the morning. He wanted to see the expression on her face when he called her that and when she heard the explanation of why. It made his chest shake. He tried to control it so not to wake her. She was sleeping too good for him to even get up and take his outside clothes off and they were hot to sleep in. He wanted to get comfortable.

That's okay, he decided as he settled in to fall asleep exactly where he was, under her. It took some effort to get comfortable in that position but in that moment there was no other place he'd have rather been.

@soufcakmistress @itsiesha @ju5tp34chy @scrumptiouslytenaciouscrusade @blackpantherimagines @blackpinup22 @muse-of-mbaku @goddessofthundathighs @panthergoddessbast @thadelightfulone @misspooh @marvelmaree @youreadthatright @forbeautyandlife @theunsweetenedtruth @bidibidibombaclaat @myboyfriendgiriboy @dameshaemonique @hidden-treasures21 @mysidefanting @hold-me-like-a-heart-beat @syndrlla97 @winteroflife @thotyana-in-this-hoe @texasbama @gingerylimonte @princessstevens @magic-madness-heavensin @wawakanda-btch @wakanda-inspired @blackgirloneshots @thegucciwaffle @thiccdaddy-mbaku @purplehairgawdess @indigoxsummers @dynastylnoire @iamrheaspeaks @blowmymbackout @they-call-me-le @theblulife @raysunshine78 @sheisexcellent-blog

#original #erik killmonger #killmonger #erik stevens #erik killmonger fanfiction #erik stevens au #black panther killmonger #black panther fanfiction #house rules

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avengerscompound · 4 years

Text

Running to a Standstill - 15

Running to a Standstill: A Captain America Fanfic

Masterlist PREVIOUS //

Buy me a ☕ Character Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Steve Rogers x F!Reader

Word Count: 1610

Rating: E

Warnings: Nothing for this chapter

Synopsis: While on the run from an unknown organization trying to take your son, you meet two super-soldiers. While they try to help you get to the bottom of who is hunting you and your son, feelings come out and admissions are made that make your personal life even more tricky.

Chapter 15

It was too easy to fall into a sense of comfortable security while you were navigating your relationship with Bucky and Steve. Whether it was false or not, you still had moments where it scared you how many defenses you’d let down when you were with them. Two weeks after the incident at the library and you were heading out to parks again with Geo and Bucky. A month of nothing popping up on your radar and you were relaxed enough not to keep looking around everywhere while you were out. It wasn’t a conscious thing, but if you were asked why you’d relaxed so much you might have said that it was just a hope that the people after you had seen you with the Avengers and figured you were too difficult a target to pin down.

It was hard to say if it was exactly that. The truth was that being that relaxed most of the time made those times you weren’t relaxed worse. When it all bubbled up that it was quite possible that there were people out there that still wanted to get their hands on Geo you’d have a panic attack and on more than one occasion Steve and Bucky had needed to talk you down from doing something really rash or stupid.

You wished that there would be some kind of break in the case so that whoever the hell it was that had been hunting you could be arrested and your son could get a normal fucking life. Or at least a happy and stable one. Steve kept you up-to-date with what was going on, but even after almost two months of having people undercover they’d only managed to get in with a few of the larger dealers on the island and they still didn’t have the supplier.

You figured it had to happen some time though, so even when those panic attacks hit, you didn’t run. You were falling in love and as much as you were trying to protect Geo from becoming attached to Bucky or Steve you knew he already was. And not just to Bucky or Steve, but to Tony, Pepper, Natasha, Clint, and FRIDAY too. You had to commit to this working for his sake and hope it wasn’t the worst decision you’d ever made.

They made it easy to commit to though. The three of you had been following the plan you and Steve had set out. Bucky had been sticking to your side for every outing. He came to parks and museums with you, always making sure to stay alert ever when Geo was babbling away to him or using him as some kind of organic jungle gym. Even after a month and a half of no signs of being followed he stayed alert in ways you had stopped being. He noticed everything, and it might have been part of the reason why you had started to relax so much.

The three of you had been taking time to bond with each other individually as well as together. It was working well and even when you did have small flares of jealousy over what might have been perceived as a special bond between Bucky and Steve that you didn't always feel you shared, they were quickly chased away when your own unique bond with each man was pulled into the spotlight.

This was not at all the life you had envisioned for yourself when you’d started college all those years ago, but considering the huge dip the roller coaster that was your life had taken, while this new high was unique, but you were definitely enjoying it.

Bucky had organized a trip to the Math Museum. He’d had to call ahead because the security at the venue was pretty tight and he didn’t want to have to explain why he was carrying two different handguns and three different knives into a children’s museum.

They let the three of you through the gift shop and as soon as you’d entered the play area Geo had rushed to the square wheeled tricycles and started riding one of them around in circles, occasionally needing Bucky to give him a little push but squealing with excitement anytime he got any kind of speed up.

“We really need to get that kid a bike,” Bucky said.

“Yeah, things like bikes were never really very practical,” you admitted. “I guess if we’re sticking around we can get one.”

Bucky smiled. It was a smile that made his eyes look soft and content and he wrapped his arm around your waist. “Next time we go out, we should take him to get one.”

Geo climbed off the bike and toddled over to you. You crouched down to face him and he flopped down onto the ground, his fingers opening and closing on the ground. “Down dare,” he said.

“You want to go downstairs?” You asked.

“They down dare,” he said and patted the floor.

“Okay, come on kiddo,” Bucky said, picking him up so he was upside down, kicking and giggling in delight. “Let’s go see downstairs.”

Bucky carried Geo down the stairs and it was clear even by halfway down what had been calling to Geo. The room was filled with interactive screens, battling robots, and floors that lit up with different games. Geo came alive. Running from activity to activity with no pattern you could follow but a smile that wouldn’t leave his face. There was no other kid there, regardless of their age that could keep up with him. Every machine seemed to want to please Geo and they all performed their roles perfectly for him.

It felt like you were down there for hours. Geo just jumping from one thing to the next. Eventually he started to wane and he ended up just lying down in the middle of the mathsquare - much to the annoyance at the kids trying to play on it.

Bucky went and scooped him up. “Okay, Gee, how about we go and get some hotdogs?”

“Bug-key,” Geo whined, flopping dramatically in his arms.

“Maybe we should just get him home, he looks pretty tired,” you said, as you walked upstairs with Bucky.

“Didn’t you want to head down to the farmer’s market?” Bucky asked. “You have the stroller right?”

You nodded. “Okay, if you’re sure.”

You grabbed the stroller and Bucky put the little boy in it. Geo immediately shoved his thumb in his mouth and held his hand up. Bucky dug around in this backpack and pulled out the tablet, giving it to Geo who immediately hugged it and closed his eyes.

Moments like these gave you such mixed feelings. Bucky had gotten so good with Geo he could read him without Geo using his words. He was becoming a dad to him more and more each day. It was wonderful in so many ways. Both Steve and Bucky seemed to love that role and it was rare to find men like that and here you had two who not only obviously liked Geo and cared about his wellbeing, but cared about you too and accepted that the two of you came as a package. Yet it was also terrifying. The more they fit that role the worse it would hurt if it didn’t last. It was so soon in your romantic relationship and it was so much pressure to love up to that even under normal circumstances things would feel like they were moving too fast and were too fragile to hold onto. And these were far from normal circumstances.

Bucky offered you his arm and you hooked yours around it and began the walk past Madison Square Park.

It wasn’t a long walk to Union Square Park and it was a nice day out. Geo was deep asleep by the time you arrived at the bustling markets.

“I consider myself a native and I don’t think I’ve ever been to these markets before,” Bucky said as you passed under the banner welcoming you to the markets. “There’s so much stuff.”

“What do you want to get? Purple carrots? Edible flowers? Little chilies that blow your head off?” You asked.

“Yes to all of those things,” he agreed. “But I’m hungry right now, so let's find something we can eat as we walk around.”

You found a place selling pastries and paninis and grabbed a sandwich each to eat as you strolled the markets. Bucky kept getting ideas for meals with every new stall. Your reusable bags were soon filled with colorful tomatoes and chilies, purple carrots, rainbow chard, edible flowers, crusty bread, pickles bottled in Amish country, fresh herbs, raw honey and milk, and a selection of cured meats and cheeses.

“I think we might have enough,” you said as Bucky started browsing punnets of fresh berries.

“We don’t have any fruit,” he argued. Geo likes blueberries and I could make a mixed berry pie.”

“Okay, okay, I won’t argue with pie,” you said.

Bucky had selected a few punnets and his phone rang as he went to pay. You took over for him as he answered the phone.

“Hey, Steve, what’s up?” He said, pressing the phone to his ear. “We’re at Union Square… Five minutes if I can get a cab… Alright, see you soon.”

He hung up the phone and looked at you. “Gonna have to go. Steve said it’s urgent.”

“Good urgent or bad?” You said, a familiar panic starting to close in around your heart like a snake.

“I don’t know. Come on,” he said, leading you back out of the markets. “We’ll find out soon enough.”

// NEXT

#steve rogers #bucky barnes #steve rogers x reader #bucky barnes x reader #stucky #steve rogers x bucky barnes #stucky x reader #steve rogers x reader x bucky barnes #captain america fanfic #fanfic #fanfiction #reader insert #running to a standstill

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jinxedpanda4life · 3 years

Text

She was named after a bird

May 13th 20--, age 17

My father once told me that my mother was an angel. My brother said she was the embodiment of a rainy day. My sister said that she could wage the fiercest storm and still be calm. I was told she was named after a bird.

I never knew my mother. I wish I had, for all I have are stories. My uncle told me to write. So here I am writing. My mother loved stories. All the books in our library have her name in them, her reviews of them, when she finished them. There is only one book she did not finish. We aren’t allowed to touch that book. I know, I tried. Father was upset with me. I was only eleven when I happened upon it.

I had read all the other books in the library that summer. It was easy since I had no friends and my family was busy with other things. It is easy to be a ghost within these halls. I slept in the library and read until my eyes shed tears and my head swam with words. The last book I came across after my journey through our library was small, not very well worn and it’s spine showed lack of use. ‘Perfect,’ I thought, ‘a fresh book.’ My father made sure to visit me twice a day, at noon and at supper time. When he found me to call me to supper he was flown in a rage.

I was halfway to mother’s point in the book, I was enjoying it immensely. The language was fun and the characters were fleshed. All the makings of a good book. Father saw me, asked what I was reading and when I folded the book to reveal the cover I swear he looked as if a casket was awaiting him. He did not yell, he did not scream, but in a strained voice full of so much emotion he told me to put it back where it came from. Of course I questioned him, I had no reason not to, especially since I enjoyed the book. He said nothing but his face said everything.

I never finished that book. Even when I saw it at shops I never have finished it.

-----------------

May 30th 20--, age 17

My Uncle says I look the most like my mother. Sure both of my siblings and I have dark hair, but it would be impossible not to the punnet squares agree. I don’t just have my mothers eyes he said, I have her posture, her coloring, even the same bone structure. He swears we could be twins.

I know father sees it. It is why he has grown sad as I have aged. Brother says he can see it as well, especially my eyes. Sister does not care.

I refuse to tell my father of my powers. I fear he will shatter. I have been able to feel others emotions all my life. The first emotion I truly remember was sorrow. It filled every open space, clung to walls and skin, suffocated me for years. I was told I would cry a lot as a little one. It was the sorrow, I drowned in it, suffocated in it. There was nothing else I could do.

I have been able to move things since I was a tot. Small things like blocks or plush animals. Though now I can move much greater things; cars, small cottages, animals, people. I know I have tried. Not with my hands, for I do not have the physical strength for such things, but with my mind.

I started flying when I was 3. I know because my Uncle was so afraid. Uncle Jason had been babysitting me for the first time, he is my favorite. Suddenly after staring at the television I started to fly, giggling and upside down is how he found me. He immediately called Uncle Richard. Father was never informed of my flying. I do fly from time to time, not as often as I would like, but enough to keep it well versed.

I figured I was able to teleport when I was six. Sister was mad at me for one thing or another and I created a portal and shoved her in it. She was not amused. She didn’t tell father though, I believe she knew it would kill him. The first time I teleported myself was when I wished to escape a party my family was hosting, I wanted to go to my room and read, so I created a portal in a dark corner and walked myself through. I ended up in the back part of the gardens.

The first time I astral projected myself was to eavesdrop. It was a couple of years ago, I knew I could do it before then but never needed to. Father and my uncles were arguing over something, actually about me, and I wanted to know what was happening.

Yes, I was 12-13 years old at the time. I had just started puberty and was struggling to keep control of my emotions so that my powers would not explode. Neither of my siblings inherited my mother’s powers, lucky fools. They also were quite a bit older than me at the time. I believe brother was finishing college and sister was just starting.

Uncle Richard had asked me if I wished to join the family business so to speak. I declined. I have no interest in those things. I want to read, write, draw and play my instruments. Being a hero is dangerous. Look at what happened to my mother. Uncle was convinced father planted those seeds in my head. He did not.

Father did not wish me to be a hero (I agree it seems tedious, especially when one could just kill the enemy). Uncle Richard wanted to try and train me. Uncle Jason asked what I wanted and said what I wanted should be what happened. Uncle Tim said that if I had inherited mother’s powers that I would be useful.

It seemed like the family was at war.

I was with Uncle Jason later when I told him that I knew of their, well, battle. He said that if I did not wish to join I would not have to. He bought me ten books that day. Three were in French, two in German, two in Spanish and three in Arabic. He also started gifting me my mother’s old tomes. Her spell books, journals, everything to do with her powers and magic. He truly is the best uncle.

-----------------

June 5th 20--, age 17

It seems that someone has snitched. I truly hate my cousins. I never have liked them. The majority of them are loud and annoying. 90% of them are also at least a decade older than I am too.

My least favorite cousin (she does not deserve her name to be used, that bitch), has informed my father of my powers. That did not go over well. He asked how long I knew I had them and all the usual questions. I answered honestly, no use in lying. He was upset, which is an understatement, that I had not informed him sooner. I told him exactly;

“Father, I knew that if I told you your emotions would sour and that look you have whenever you think I am not looking would appear more and more. I do not wish sorrow on you father, and if I told you, you would look at me as if I am her.”

So tonight while father is being ‘The Dark Knight’ or whatever, I am cutting my hair. Shaving more like. I am shaving half of it off and dying the tips of the remaining hair red. I never rebel, but I am sure as soon as everyone knows, in the hero community, of my powers that I will be faced with many many annoying, pompous, supers trying to direct me. Father may even let them

I would get a piercing but my sister said that once she was in town she would go with me. I am not my mother. She may have been named after a bird and I may also be named after a bird, and we may possess the same features in many ways, but I am not her. Father will see. The supers will see. I will not be forced to become a hero. I will not succumb to anyone.

My name is Ibis and I will not be my mother.

--------------------------------

Does this count as fan fiction? I had an itch to write something of this nature. Maybe I will write more, maybe not.

ANYWAY, hope anyone reading this enjoyed! Tell me how you feel about it, if I should continue, etc. Anything is appreciated.

#raven #damirae #ibis #batfam #oc #dcu #Damian Wayne #Rachel Roth #writing #what is this #How do tags work

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lookingforromansconfidence · 3 years

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Hey niko you wanna infodump about marketing strategies 👀👀👀 —green/lawyer

Yesyesyesyesyes

*Get’s the happy stimms out because hahahahaha*

Ok. So there are three main marketing strategies

Pathos, ethos, and logos.

Pathos is the appeal to emotion (I hate this one so much so I’ll be a bit biased fhjdf)

So for example, those animal shelter commercials. Those are an example of pathos. They’re hella guilt trippy and are made to make people feel bad, then buy their product.

Pros of this could be: it works best when the product you’re trying to sell is alive (like those dog commercials), if you need to sell something in a pinch this works best, if you’re a charity this will also work pretty well.

Cons: It’s manipulative as fuck. Makes people feel bad. people will feel super bad for not being able to donate/buy said product.

----

Ethos is the most complicated (to me). It’s the appeal to be a good person. For example uhhhh those ones that are like, *celebrity* likes my product!! That means there’s a big chance that if you’re fan of *celebrity* you’ll like my product. (Which is basically the entire video that just dropped dsgjfdhjsdhkjdsds)

Pros: Famous people like your product, therefore their fanbase will most likely buy from product.

Cons: If said famous person gets cancelled/dies/is a bad person, you’ll need to move on to another endorsment quick, people won’t want to buy your product if it’s associated with a bad person.

----

Logos is the appeal to logic. Statistics are the biggest. Basically the entirety of Logan’s ad. There isn’t much else to say.

Pros: Logical, filled with statistics, people will know what they’re getting into, You can also manipulate the statistics for your favor (I can infodump more on that later)

Cons: Really wordy, most people will get bored easier that the other two.

----

Then there’s the conbinations of the three- (which is super interesting to me and I find this part fun, it’s like a punnet square) For times sake, I’ll do the most common ones.

Logos, and ethos- Logos and ethos is basically those “Seven out of ten people liked this product” ads. They don’t give away who the people were, so you assume they’re average people (or people like the viewer). It doesn’t show the qualifications or experience of the people (If you’re talking about doctors or smth)

Pathos and Logos- Pathos and logos are basically those medicine for kids ads. The ones where the parent is like “My child is a lovely child, but they’re [insert common child problem here]” and the child is all like “So my mom gave me [child thing]!! It has [statistic that perents will enjoy] and I like it!!” (which is technically a little bit of ethos but it’s mostly pathos)

Anyways it’s getting a little long so if ya wanna know more-

#Apologies if there's any incomplete sentences #I can't tell #not countdown #Niko screams into the void #ask #Unlawful lawyer #swearing

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synchronmurmurs · 5 years

Text

The DMC boys and choccies

So I was chatting to @miriashikin a lil’ bit last night, and she drops this little nugget right into my lap:

I’ve never done a batch of HCs before in my life, so I hope this is the sort of thing you were looking for, Miria!! ;A; So without further ado:

Dante

Honestly isn't picky. That's probably just a result of being broke all the time though.

The only kind he absolutely abhors is turkish delight. You keep that away from him.

Other than that, he'll try pretty much anything once, but you really can't go wrong with a good good ol' milk chocolate. The smoother the better.

He says it's all the better to lick off you with.

He's that guy who's melting an entire block of milk chocolate to pair with a punnet of strawberries.

He has to ask you to melt it though, because he somehow always gets the chocolate to seize. Everytime.

"You got it wet." "I'm not even anywhere near water!!"

Double dips

Triple dips

He's also that guy who'll pick up a block and just… bite right into it. Breaking it up into the already portioned bite-sized little squares? Nah, miss him with that. If you want some, you gotta take a chunk out of it with your choppers. That's how things roll in the Sparda household.

Nobody tell Vergil he said that.

The most prone to trying out the more interesting chocolates. He's not a fan of spice in the least, but that kind that's infused with chilli? Hell yeah baybee. It has goats cheese in it? Lmao yolo. Vegemite? You're toeing the line, but he'll try a piece.

Because honestly? He just likes being able to spend time with you.

Vergil

Not really into the heavy dark chocolates like some think. 70% (65% is that sweet spot) is his absolute limit because don't tell anybody this, buuuuuuut Vergil actually does have a bit of a sweet tooth.

He's very sensible about it though, doesn't tend to go overboard, and generally likes to pair something sweet with something that cleanses the palate afterwards.

He's a fan of all things peppermint

Yes, even gotdamn toothpaste.

Maybe that's why he takes forever to brush his teeth???

He just enjoys the cool, refreshing bite that mint has to it.

And I mean it also smells divine.

But as far as chocolate goes, give this boy some mint chocolate.

He'll even be happy with Aero.

He does understand that variety is important though.

So as a back up, bring in the white chocolate.

But it absolutely CANNOT be the gross, cheap, waxy kind.

You know the sort right? The kind that just feels and tastes like you're biting into a chunk of solid fat? That's a nono.

Bring him the Good Stuff. The kind you head to a chocolatier for. If it melts in his mouth, he will melt in your hands.

Although to be fair, if you get him at the right time, he does that anyway *wink wonk*

Nero

CARAMEL.

Ooey gooey caramel filling? Hidden salted caramel chunks to surprise him on every bite? SALTED CARAMEL OOEY GOOEY FILLING?

That's how Nero do.

Tangentially relevant: y'all know that Ben and Jerry's ice cream flavour right? Triple Caramel Chunk?

It has everything he likes in one convenient package - a rare indulgence for him whenever they can spare the money for it.

Really though, caramel is the fastest way to his heart.

But other avenues exist.

He sorta takes after his uncle… ya know, by virtue of the fact he's known Dante a bit longer.

Having a similar carefree attitude means he's open to trying out different kinds of choccies.

Nico tried to get him to try tobacco chocolate before though…

Needless to say, that's where he draws the line.

Has a tendency to complain about unusual combinations until they end up in his mouth.

"Who the hell thinks of this stuff?"

"........huh. Well then."

The weirdest kind he's tried is shiitake mushroom chocolate.

#request: headcanons #choccie headcanons #am I doing this right?#dmc #devil may cry 5 #dante #nero #vergil #devil may cry

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sleepyearthbabe · 4 years

Note

orange

I feel warm inside when I do yoga, when I’m cuddling up with a bunch of blankets and pillows hehe, when someone sends me a song that reminds them of me, holding hands, kisses, when someone lightly plays with my hair. When it’s early in the morning and I hear birdies chirping outside, and there’s flowers blooming nearby.

Hmm favorite Halloween tradition has got to be chilling, watching old scary movies and eating some good snacks my dude.

The last thing I learned was what a colonic was lol..and things about different genes, punnet squares and different diseases that can affect humans.

When’s the last time you felt obsessed? Hmm maybe a couple years ago, about a certain musician hehe.

What’s your favorite article of clothing? I’m not sure I have a favorite, it kind of depends how I feel on the day. I do enjoy really comfy clothes, like big sweaters or simple dresses, baggy flannels hehe.

Thank you!

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omegawizardposting · 5 years

Note

I gotta say, I hope it's just really old writing or someone else spouting shit. I'm really fond of Homestuck, and I don't really want something that was such a gigantic part of my formative years having something like this associated with its author. It makes me sad. Shit, I did Punnet squares based on troll headcanons for a high school biology project, that was fun. I know I still have it, but I'm not sure where I put it.

End of the day, sometimes you’ve just gotta separate creation from creator. I have a hard time doing that myself, but Homestuck has taken on such a huge life of its own that, honestly, it doesn’t feel like Hussie’s creation anymore.

Of course, it’s always better when the creator of something you’re hugely passionate about isn’t a massive tool, but it’s a harsh reality a lot of us have to face. (God, J.K. Rowling, STOP TALKING, I cannot enjoy Harry Potter over the sound of your faux-progression!)

I sincerely hope Hussie isn’t this big of an asshole, but if he is, you can still hold on to the good things. Homestuck doesn’t have to go down with him.

#theshieldswordandcrown #pondering potats

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livingcorner · 3 years

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10 Best Beginner Plants

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Written By Little Veggie Patch Co – July 01 2020

Extract from our question and answer with The Australian.

10 Best Beginner Plant Heirloom Seed Starter Pack

Read more: Raised beds

1. Mint – Heirloom Mint Seeds

What makes mint so easy to grow? It loves water and isn’t fussy for sunlight, so a damp, semi shaded space – aka your b-spot – will do just fine. How could I stuff it up? By being a fool or perhaps just yourself? Mint doesn’t like to dry out and needs space to creep. Give it time to settle and don’t be so impatient. What’s the smallest space it can grow in? Mint has rigorous root growth and so will appreciate a pot that is at least 30cm deep and in diameter. Not to say it won’t grow in something smaller but will get matted quick fast and you’ll then need to upgrade. How long before I’m enjoying mint juleps at cocktail hour? 1 -2 months. But go easy at first and don’t strip the guy bare getting carried away. If I have to go interstate for a few days and can’t water it, will it die? Much like that immortal creeping lawn – kikuyu – mint will mend itself following neglect, and better than kikuyu it isn’t itchy, it’s edible and only has one syllable. Could I train my toddler to do all the work? Between toddlers and mint, the love of water is mutual. Your toddler will drown the thing and mint won’t mind it a bit. It’s a match made in heaven. Do I have to read a book or anything to get started? No, but Little Veggie Patch Co’s vegetable gardening books should be read regardless… What the hell will I do with all the surplus mint? If you don’t already have one, look to develop a drinking habit that peaks in the summertime. Mojitos aren’t really suited to winter nights by the fire.

2. Silverbeet – ‘Rainbow’ Swiss Chard Heirloom Seeds What makes silverbeet so easy to grow? I’ve no bloody idea it just is. This is the ego boost for all hopeless gardeners. You know that friend who’s not quite as good looking and so, as a team, you always get more attention at the bar? Silverbeet is better. How could I stuff it up? Much like that girl at the bar who is going home with either you or your lesser looking friend (who doesn’t happen to be funny by the way), you could only stuff it up by being a pretentious and obnoxious wanker. The same applies with silverbeet. What’s the smallest space it can grow in? Doesn’t mind being packed in a tight spot, but remember you won’t need much as one or two plants will provide plenty. How long before I can harvest? Give your plant two months to find its feet and it will keep you happy for 6 or more months. If I have to go interstate for a few days and can’t water it, will it die? It will look like death but keep bouncing back. And even if some of the outer leaves pass away, pull them off the plant and the younger inner leaves will come on through. Could I train my toddler to do all the work? Don’t bore your toddler with such bland fodder. Do it yourself. Do I have to read a book or anything to get started? For one, don’t read The Little Veggie Patch Co’s How to Grow Food in Small Spaces. It won’t get you excited about growing silverbeet at all. What the hell will I do with all the surplus? Make some friends and then be prepared to loose them by hounding everyone with your excess silverbeet.

3. Leafy Greens- Leafy Green Seed Bundle What makes leafy greens so easy to grow? They don’t need much sunlight and they like to be packed in together. They love city life! How could I stuff it up? Not picking them fast enough and so they bolt off to seed. What’s the smallest space it can grow in? Leafy greens are the champions of small space growing. Small pots, wall units, that little gap in between the bigger stuff…you get the idea. How long before I can harvest? In warmer weather it will only be a matter of weeks before you’re pickin’ leaves and makin’ salads. If I have to go interstate for a few days and can’t water it, will it die? It won’t die, but it will bolt to seed and taste so rubbish it may as well have carked it. Could I train my toddler to do all the work? Water, not too much heat stress, keep picking, don’t take long holidays…I know your toddler is advanced but this may be a stretch. Do I have to read a book or anything to get started? Nah. What the hell will I do with all the surplus? Pile up your excess in bundles of 100g and then put them in plastic bags labeled ‘organic fresh salad greens’. Sell them for $5 at the local supermarket and prepare for retirement.

4. Zucchini- ‘Black Beauty’ Zucchini Heirloom Seeds What makes zucchini so easy to grow? Give this guy space, enough sunlight and water and within a few weeks you’ll be bragging to your neighbours that this gardening caper is a piece of zucchini cake. How could I stuff it up? Grow too many, too close together. These are big boys, and realize that one with enough space will outperform 3 crammed in together. Less is more, yes my child, less is more… What’s the smallest space it can grow in? Being a little greedy, you’ll want 50cms squared minimum and then he’ll probably still overstep the mark. How long before harvest? At about a month mark you will be watching your flowers form in great anticipation, a few weeks lately the small fruit, and then from about the second month onwards it’s weekly meals of ratatouille. If I have to go interstate for a few days and can’t water it, will it die? Nah, they’re pretty tough. All gourds have an inbuilt defense mechanism that lets them switch off to the sun when necessary – you will notice them ‘playing dead’ on those hot, summery days. Could I train my toddler to do all the work? One of the difficulties of growing zucchini is pollination, and so disturbingly they may need to be hand pollinated. It could be a little early for the birds and the bees talk. Do I have to read a book or anything to get started? Maybe watch a video instead. We have a zucchini video that we think it pretty neat, can we put in a link? What the hell will I do with all the surplus? Ratatouille, mock telephones or find Gourmet Traveler’s ‘Zucchini’ edition and go nuts. Pickled zucchini rocks.

5. Cherry Tomato- ‘Tommy Toe’ heirloom tomato seeds

What makes cherry tomatoes so easy to grow? Fool proof harvest, assuming you don’t loose interest or kill it before it gets to that point. How could I stuff it up? Even if your neglect its needs and let it sprawl out into an organic tangle of mess, it’ll still produce fruit, but then the overwhelming urge to rip the messy thing out will cut that harvest short. Happens every year. What’s the smallest space it can grow in? As a vertical grower, let it climb and save your blue chip real estate for those that need it. Allow for 50cms squared, but some basil can encroach on this parameter. They like eachother a lot. How long before harvest? Give it a couple of months to get started but then it’ll produce fruit to the point you can’t stand looking at red, ripen’ ‘n sweet cherry tomatoes. If I have to go interstate for a few days and can’t water it, will it die? Once established, treating them mean will keep them keen, so a couple of days of tough love will only do it good. Could I train my toddler to do all the work? They grow pretty tall, so first train your toddler to use a stepladder before setting them to work on your tomato plant. Do I have to read a book or anything to get started? The cherry tomato is about as highbrow as the vegetable gets on this list. Read a book, any book, and get in the mindset. What the hell will I do with all the surplus? Pile up the vine-ripened produce, store it in a zero oxygen chamber until late winter and then flog them off for $10 a punnet.

Read more: The Best Garden Shears, Loppers, and Pruners, According to Experts

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6. Radish- ‘Cherry Belle’ heirloom radish seeds What makes radish so easy to grow? Vegetable Gardening 101 starts with the Radish. Pop them in the ground from seed, water and 6 weeks later you’ll be sick of them. You could also harvest them as a micro herb, which is even easier and sounds nice and wanky. How could I stuff it up? By not trying. What’s the smallest space it can grow in? A little, shallow pot will suffice. How long before harvest? If the conditions are right, the stars aligned and it was meant to be, radishes can start popping out as early as 3 weeks down the track, no bullshit. If I have to go interstate for a few days and can’t water it, will it die? Radish don’t really die, they become monstrous instead; shooting seed heads and going tough and fibrous. The boogieman has nothing on an unhappy radish. Could I train my toddler to do all the work? I think it’s time to give your toddler a break and do some of the work yourself. And this is easily something you could do while your toddler tends to the mint and masters step-laddering. Do I have to read a book or anything to get started? If you can recite the first three letters of the alphabet you can do whatever the hell you want with a radish. Don’t bother with a book. What the hell will I do with all the surplus? As one of the first things you will harvest, radish often gets used as a prop highlighting the beauty that is home grown produce – “here, try this radish, amazing!” It always impresses first time, but is vulnerable to the effect of diminishing return. As a fan of repetition you shouldn’t let this bother you.

7. Squash- ‘Golden Summer Crookneck’ heirloom seeds What makes squash so easy to grow? I’m certainly not smart enough to explain the evolution of the squash. Ask Charles. How could I stuff it up? Planting too many seedlings and then becoming so attached to every single one of them that the idea of culling is absolutely impossible. It’s interesting, people don’t mind 2 million kangaroos getting lopped each year but then ask them to remove a vegetable seedling from their patch… What’s the smallest space it can grow in? A pretty big one actually How long before harvest? You’re looking at living rough for about 2 months before the good times kick in If I have to go interstate for a few days and can’t water it, will it die? There will be some collateral damage but nothing terminal. It’d be nice if you could enlist the help of your most attractive neighbour…for watering duties. Could I train my toddler to do all the work? Squash bushes do have some little spikes that for little people (toddlers included) would hurt a lot. Forcing your toddler to do all the work, as he or she is relentlessly spiked, is not good training for the young one’s intelligence. Do I have to read a book or anything to get started? Read a book?! Just youtube it. What the hell will I do with all the surplus? Excess produce is your bartering tool so your neighbour waters while you’re away. And considering you’ll struggle to give away the last batches of squash anyhow, this is a significant win.

8. Cucumber- ‘Market More’ cucumber heirloom seeds What makes cucumber so easy to grow? Fruit is incredibly resilient to pest and disease and grows vertically, so it perfectly tailored to hack, city gardeners. How could I stuff it up? It is quite fond of sun to begin with, so don’t overcrowd it with a lot of tall, gangly vegetables around it and let it climb on a trellis to keep it chasing the sun. What’s the smallest space it can grow in? The beauty of vertical growing is that we’re not starved of vertical space. Look at a pot size at least 20cms in depth and diameter. How long before harvest? On our rooftop garden we harvested the first cucumber 4 weeks after planting the seedling. However considering it is still producing 3 months later, I wouldn’t hit the cocktails too early. Pace yourself. If I have to go interstate for a few days and can’t water it, will it die? Young ones will, but the established vines are pretty rigorous so no problems there. Could I train my toddler to do all the work? Funny you ask – your toddler has just mastered the art of step laddering and is now more than capable of looking after your cucumber. Do I have to read a book or anything to get started? Reading this will suffice. What the hell will I do with all the surplus? The cucumber is a valuable commodity at your local bar. Become a regular I say.

9. Spring Onions- ‘Japanese Red Beard’ spring onion heirloom seeds What makes spring onion so easy to grow? Take a machete and chop them down to ground level and the buggers keep coming back! The bunch you bought from the market, roots still intact? Plant them in the patch and they’ll keep growing! Some fear artificial intelligence, I fear the spring onion. How could I stuff it up? Not the neediest of plants but will appreciate a soil with plenty of compost and shit in it. Don’t deny it this pleasure. What’s the smallest space it can grow in? Pack them in nice and tight – they will get along with eachother spaced every 3-5cms without a complaint. How long before harvest? In a shitty soil out enjoying the spring weather, these guys won’t keep you waiting more than 6 weeks. If I have to go interstate for a few days and can’t water it, will it die? Visualize the spring onions you bought from the markets with their roots inatct; pretty impressive system isn’t it? This tells us that once set up they are pretty tough. They’ll be fine, enjoy yourself. Could I train my toddler to do all the work? Proud to say that spring onions are toddler proof. Though careful with the machete. Do I have to read a book or anything to get started? Once again, video is easier. We actually have a good one for this too… What the hell will I do with all the surplus? Leave them in-ground, they store really well there.

10. Herbs – Perennial herb heirloom seed bundle What makes herbs so easy to grow? Hardy and perennial, herbs should be the first thing you consider planting in the patch and in fact the design of your garden should revolve around them as they will be there for the long run. Picking them helps them grow. That’s called a win-win. How could I stuff it up? Being too blasé about how easy they are to grow. They still like stuff like sunlight, water and good quality soil, so make sure they’re set up right.

What’s the smallest space it can grow in? Put it this way – you grow a herb in a 20cm pot and it will produce for a few months before getting pot bound and looking tired. Grow it in a 30cm pot and you prolong it to 6 months or longer. However grow it in-ground, give it a clearance of 30cms and you’re looking at life. You do the math. How long before I harvest? Give it a few weeks to settled into its new home and you can start moderately picking. Though don’t pick it bare and wonder why life has become harder for your herb friend. If I have to go interstate for a few days and can’t water it, will it die? Hell no! Mix business and pleasure and take a week if you have to. Could I train my toddler to do all the work? Yep, definitely one for the young ones. And if they mess this one up, demand answers. Do I have to read a book or anything to get started? Reading a book will only eat into the time you could be in the garden plotting away. On another note, check your neighbour’s garden before starting as there’s no need doubling up on the same plants, one will feed the both of you. Maybe explain what you’re up to before wandering through their yard. What the hell will I do with all the surplus? Infuse oils, dry them, give them away, start eating more.. Get creative.

If you’re interested in starting a garden and don’t know where for your toddler to begin, we can always help out with our range of readymade veggie crates. Just shine a giant tomato towards the night sky….we’ll find you

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Source: https://livingcorner.com.au Category: Garden

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