#I just wanna be able to like…do smth today maybe? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

yoimiya-supremacy · 10 months

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dysautomnia+adhd is only remembering to take care of yourself at your worst times and waking up knowing you need to shower like you have to shower and physically not being able to perform activities until you have done the shower but you cannot physically shower as you will most likely pass out or have a migraine so sitting at the couch doing the hand flicky and the stretchy (safe stretchy) and drinking water and eating chips until you can safely assume you will not do the faint 4 minutes into a shower…helppppp…

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daz4i · 2 months

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love my social worker he's so sweet and i love my mentor/guide/one day i'll find a fitting english word for what her role is too. last time i met the former he said they talked abt the thing i'm starting this thursday and said "while it feels like these circumstances may be impossible for you, logically speaking you shouldn't succeed there, yet both of us are certain you will" which is very nice but also AAAAAAAAAAAAA

#they're right like these ARE p much impossible circumstances for me #but i do think they think too highly of me and i'm definitely gonna disappoint them 🥲#this was both assuring yet. like. pressuring. if that's the right word idk #ik there's the whole. 'what if i fail' 'but what if you don't' back and forth but genuinely. realistically speaking. i most likely will #i have never been able to maintain those daily structure stuff like school for example #and while i do hope that since this is only 4 short days a week (with a break in between 2 and 2) and smth i like doing -#- then i'll have an easier time. but. it's still gonna be so hard.#there's a reason i don't go out or wake up early ughhhhh it's bc i hate doing it. idk if theater would be enough to make up for that #and what if i don't like the people what if i don't get along with the directors what if i struggle with remembering lines or physicality #which will make it all so much harder and make the part i'm supposed to love unpleasant as well #what would i do then 🥲#. why am i anxious about this rn. i have a tough day ahead of me for a different reason i should probably focus on first 🫠#vent #sorryyyyyyy it's 1 am and i need to clear my brain out it seems #also maybe i want. advice. or encouragement. idek what i want. here. i don't wanna have to worry abt this but that's impossible ofc #(my mom told me today that she wants to tell me there's nothing to stress about but she knows that'll just be incorrect 😭 and she's right)#(dw she meant it nicely and gently as in she knew i'd just get mad at her for saying it lol. and i mean. again. gotta be realistic)

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bunnihearted · 4 months

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#i called even if all i wanna do is stay in bed forever lol #she on the phone thought it sounded more like an ulcer sksksks #it's what they said the first time abt this in august but omeprazol etc did nothing for me #maybe it's an ulcer. maybe it's smth other than gallstones that causes this pain #tbh i have no idea. sad part is that doctors very often have no fkn idea either #but now i started to get worried like what if this pain isnt caused by my gallstones??? what if i remove my gallbladder nd then it continues #wheeeeew unlocked anxiety!!!!!#but she still gave me an appt today in 3 hrs so a doctor can look at me #which they will at least be able to tell if im dying or not #so then just that can calm me down a little. even if i dont fully get to know what's going on :((#i know it's kinda hard even for doctors and they cant magically know everything but i wish they were better nd more trustworthy #whatever it is im sick of this pain :((

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toastsnaffler · 13 hours

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SUDDENLY STARTED RAINING SO HARD WE ARE SO FUCKING BACK

#i was like huh whats that noise. bc i can normally NEVER hear anything over my headphones but it was the rain fucking shattering it down #my bed is WET the window was only open a few inches 😭#anyway had no signal at work again today smfh. but at least they let me on the bus free on the way there this morning #still a bit wobbly im in the baby deer phase of post major depressive episode #roommate asked how i was doing when she got home and i very very nearly started crying but i didnt i was so brave #my insane insecurity and anger swings post rsd episode have mostly faded too thank fuck. only took 4 days which is pretty good for me #but im still so so tired it takes everything out of me...#when im recovered + can talk abt it without making myself upset again im promising myself i will talk to her abt the rsd if nothing else #but i really really dont want to make her feel bad abt it at all its genuinely not anyones fault. but its important to me that i say smth #just so we can avoid it happening again where possible bc it does really suck so bad. for everyone im sure but mostly me here #and i would like to be able to care abt ppl and have close friends without risking my entire mental (+ physical..) wellbeing 😭#i think if im still struggling w mood once my meds stabilise i might ask if there are options to help w that too #like i think ive gone as far as i can w therapeutic techniques rn. its just too overwhelmingly intense and reflexive for me to apply that #and i dont feel like i live my life around it or in fear of it anymore like generally i have been a lot better #but when im vulnerable and it DOES strike i have no defense against it whatsoever and it can tank everything for weeks #its just high stakes. and it'll help to make sure ppl know abt it and might be able to support etc but it would be nice to never worry abt #so worth trying meds for it maybe. i just dont rly wanna have the conversations w medical ppl in order to get it in the first place #like i wouldnt feel safe telling a doctor abt it bc the idea of someone with that authority having power over me is terrifying #ah well this isnt a problem for right now. plus stimulants might help me w it anyway once im finished titrating so we'll see #got so distracted typing this i forgot what i was gonna do.... i need to check my planner #and then ill probably read and go to sleep early i think zzzzz #ahhh.. and the birds are singing outside now the rain has stopped :-)#.diaries

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omar-bb · 27 days

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notes & quotes from omar's live today

he wanted to release Red Light sooner but he and his team wanted to get it right

he's excited to headline at Gröna Lund - gonna be playing a new song there and at his other shows this summer!

"one of my favorite songs. i'm telling you, you will fucking choke when you hear that one. it's dark, it's dirty, it's groovy..."

"should I leak some of it? it would be fun for you to be able to sing along..."

"i hope it's fine by my team that I just leaked that"

"maybe it'll be the next single after Red Light. only maybe. I'm not promising anything"

someone asked about an Asia tour - "I cannot be live bc I'm gonna leak a lot of shit. But you wanna know something funny? This song .... it is actually a k-pop pitch song from start. it was made with k-pop in mind. it is not fully k-pop and now that i've been doing my touch on it, it is a little less k-pop but.. they actually wrote the song k-pop in mind."

teased doing a tour in the future

another "leak" - "I was actually meant to go to korea like right now or a month ago, like after the oscars ... i was supposed to go to korea. but it never happened. i was very sad. but maybe one day.

he had a scared moment where music started playing in the other room and he thought it was an unreleased song but it was just his alejandro tiktok lol

inspo for red light? "I didn't write the song ... it was a demo that got sent to me. at first ... it was a girl singing red light, and when i heard it the first time i was like yo this sounds like fucking rihanna ... i was like is this a long lost rihanna song? this is the greatest thing i've ever heard. and then i just fucking took it. i was like this is my song before rihanna takes it from me. and now it's my song."

Red Light music video when? "we shot a visualizer, so it's not a music video ... it's very beautiful. very stunning. i've never done anything like that. ... it's not a real music video. it's more visuals for the song."

will be doing red light on 25 may and also a new song

"you'll hear a whole new omar when you hear that song"

he has been replying to messages in his community on whatsapp and sms. they'll be leaking more stuff through there

new OMR Beauty product when? "....................... stay tuned"

"you will die when you see the next launch of OMR Beauty. that's all I'm saying. Next!!!"

will he start a fashion brand? "i don't really have the time for that unfortunately. ... not for now"

thinks he is not gonna bleach his hair

Someone asked red light spanish version when? and he sang a bit of it in spanish

omar backflip when? "when i'm in heaven"

is he going to act again?"i'm actually reading some scripts right now. just reading, it's not anything happening really yet, just testing the waters. we'll see, i would love to act. i actually miss acting, it was a fun time ... nothing will ever be like YR obviously, but just the thought of meeting new ppl, new friends, being together for a few weeks or a few months, and filming smth very special, that would be so much fun. ... i'm actually reading a really cool script right now" but more focusing on music right now

he has 40-50 new songs from the last year apparently??? Maybe i misunderstood this

album when? "don't know, we'll see" - he has a lot of songs and could drop an album but he wants it to be perfect so it'll be awhile

there will be red light merch this summer

he and edvin hang out sometimes

not doing Rix FM this year

there will not be 12 red light remixes lol "but maybe a few"

Eurovision 2025? "absolutely not. sorry not sorry." something about always being thrown out of the competition

he's stopped drinking coffee regularly and drinks matcha instead

someone suggested hoemars as the fandom name and he laughed lol

a lot is happening in May he says !! "y'all better eat good, sleep well" lolol

he said he might do another live next week once Red Light is out

#finally caught one of these!!!!#he's so funny #no word on the project with edvin #omar live on tiktok #omar on tiktok #omar rudberg

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sethsclearwater · 7 months

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hi teehee🫶 love ur writing, could you do Seth calming reader after an unexpected like run-in w a vampire in the woods? maybe she was on a hike or smth idk, but Seth came to her rescue and it’s the aftermath. could be minor angst but ultimately fluffy, but I’ll leave that up to you🎃

"seth!" you screamed when you saw what you were pretty sure was the rogue vampire the boys and cullens had been hunting for the past few weeks.

you were pressed up against a nearby tree, totally unsure of what to do as you watched the vampire look you up and down as he figured out what to do with you.

it couldn't have been more than a few seconds before 2 of the wolves came diving out of the treeline, chasing the vampire out of there while you sat there in complete shock.

"hey, hey," you heard your imprinter's voice coming over as he sprinted over to you, looking like he just must've phased back seeing as he was only wearing a pair of sweatpants and had haphazardly thrown his shoes on, "you're okay, you're okay," seth reassured, quickly pulling you into a tight hug, "promise you're okay," he mumbled against your hair, his grip so tight it was making it nearly impossible to breathe.

after a few moments, he slowly loosened his grip on you but you were quick to wrap your arms around his waist, pulling him back to you so you were anchored to him, "take some deep breaths," seth cooed, pressing soft kisses to your hair.

you hadn't realized it considering your mind was a bit preoccupied with other things, but your breathing was rather shallow and your heart was racing so fast you could hear it in your ears, "deep breaths pretty girl," seth reminded, running one of his hands up and down your back soothingly.

you nodded, allowing yourself to relax into his chest a bit as your brain started to realize you weren't in any kind of immediate danger anymore. as your breathing slowly started to even out and your heartbeat went back to a somewhat steady rate, seth loosened his grip on you a bit, "there you go," he cooed, as he listened to your heartbeat, pressing his lips to your hair again.

you peeked up at him after a few moments, sniffling as you released one of your arms from around his waist to reach up and palm away your tears, "you're okay," seth reassured, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead, "can i bring you back over to the apartment? you're freezing," he asked softly and you frowned, his comment suddenly making you much more aware of the fact that it was significantly colder out than you remembered it being a few minutes ago.

before you could think too much about it, you nodded, allowing seth to lift you up so you wrapped your legs around his waist so he could carry you the short walk back to your apartment.

you had just gone out on a short walk, one that you did nearly every day except today that plan seemed to go awry considering the rogue vampire that managed to find you.

once seth got you back inside your apartment and sat down on the edge of your bed, you finally let out a loud exhale, sliding your hands down his arms until you found his hands and intertwined your fingers with him.

seth offered you a small smile, squatting down in front of you so he wasn't towering over you, "can you stay here?" you whispered, squeezing his hands and he nodded, taking your hands up to press a gentle kiss to them.

"not going anywhere," seth reassured, offering you another smile before he was getting back up, "you wanna take a bath with me?" he asked, already knowing how much you enjoyed a hot bath after a stressful day.

you slowly nodded, "promise you'll feel less stressed out soon, you just gotta give your body some time to calm down," he added, anticipating your frustration about not being able to get out of your fight or flight mode as quickly as you would've liked.

"okay," you whispered, voice still a bit shaky and he gave your intertwined hands a gentle squeeze.

"i've got you," seth reassured, untangling your hands so he could lift you up again and carry you into the bathroom for a bath that would hopefully help you calm down after your rogue vampire run-in.

#seth clearwater #seth clearwater fluff #seth clearwater x reader #seth clearwater angst #seth clearwater imagine #seth clearwater blurb #fluff #imagine #blurb #angst #the twilight saga #twilight #twilight imagine

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haunted-headset · 5 months

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hey friend! tis me back again hahah

this is gonna sound so random but anyways i was thinking.. reader coming home to hear wilbur shouting away in his room (he’s streaming for once LMAO) and deciding to just chill in the living room/bedroom for a bit. and then when wilbur’s finished and he surprised to see reader and he’s so happy to them and just aah :,) 🫶 and i had the idea of smth like a cozy night in with wilbur?? and i was wondering if u had any thoughts on that or if u wanted to write about it maybe! no pressure at all to do any of that tho <3

i hope ur having a nice dayyy! 💕

💗 You're Back! 💗

a/n: stopppppp this is so cute!! also why did my writing get really good during this

summary: read the ask

contains: excited Wilbur, tired reader, tooth-rotting fluff, pet names, kissing, & silly Haunty shenanigans overall

words: 702

tags: @zuuriell @somebody-v @vibestillaxxx @ax-y10 @joviepog@themonsterunderurmom @ogelizasoot @wilburstan@smolsleepykitten@funnyreally2009@crows-death@dykepunz@aresriiots@0miamor0@defonotval@chipch0p@mazzistar16@unmellowyellowfellow@thosecolorfulsheets@vopix@aine-lasagna@merianakross@veeislost@urfav-sapphic-siren@shazbaz58-blog @wifiatthetrainstation@mcr-pr-fob@shd454@rqvii@idioticion@m0thza@artistphantom @lexx-the-gay-rubber-ducky @finleyforevermore @poraphia @radio-to-trenchcoat-demons @mysticalsoot @21-cats-in-a-trenchcoat @strangleetomz (let me know if u don't or do wanna be tagged)

At around 5pm, you finally got home after an exhausting day at work. You, of course, loved your job; it was your dream job, after all! Some days were more tiring than others.

You took your shoes off & put them near the door next to Wilbur's scuffed, untied Dr. Martens that had lost their shine years ago, unlike your darling boyfriend, who always seemed to have some sort of lively spark about him that nobody could quite have for themselves, which is rather peculiar, since he writes incredibly heart-wrenching songs nowadays. The shoes were massive compared to yours, almost like a clown's.

In the office, you heard shouting & laughter. You didn't think your boyfriend would be streaming, since he hadn't streamed since October, & he never mentioned any upcoming streams. Maybe he was treating the livestream like he treated Mammalian Sighing Reflex & did it unannounced to surprise people. Not wanting to interrupt him, you walked into the bedroom to take off your work clothes & change into sweatpants & Wilbur's brown hoodie that still had the smell of earthy, soothing cologne & petrichor lingering on the soft fabric. You checked yourself in the mirror. You looked okay, except for the fact that your eyes were drooping & you looked almost like you were going to collapse & fall asleep on the floor if you did any excessive movements. You yawned & stretched your arms above your head, hearing a few cracks & pops as you did such from not cracking anything all day. You then cracked your neck & knuckles, & both of them made loud pop & crack & crunch sounds. You finger-combed through your hair, tugging through the knots while wincing. You looked very dead. Abandoning the rule you made for yourself not to bother Wilbur during streams, you slowly opened the office door just a crack, making sure not to make any loud creaks.

"So, I think that'll be all today, chat!" Wilbur smiled. "Thank you all for coming. I'm so sorry I haven't been streaming as much, I've just got Lovejoy things to do. We're all very busy all the time. Here, let's have you all raid...Philza. Go raid him. Bye, chat!" He clicked the "Stop streaming" button on his PC & sighed. Since his spinny chair was still facing the PC setup, you were able to come around & hug him from behind.

"Hello," you mumbled sleepily. "I'm back."

"Angel! You're back!" Wilbur sprang up from his seat & picked you up & spun you around, causing you to laugh. When he stopped, he sat down on the chair with you in his lap. "How was work, love? Everything go okay at work?"

You shrugged. "It wasn't bad, per se, but it was just exasperating. Nobody was rude or crass to me, but I'm just really tired." Wilbur made a small "ah" sound & nodded.

"Do you want to go cuddle in bed & drink some tea?" Wilbur asked, playing with your fingers. "Do you want to do that? Or we could do something else."

"Tea & cuddles sound nice," you said. Wilbur nodded & picked you up & walked you to the kitchen. He still kept you in his arms while he made tea, softly asking you which tea flavor you preferred & which mug you wanted, or if you even wanted a mug or if you just wanted a glass. You two waited in the kitchen while the tea was being prepared, with Wilbur rocking you back & forth to a symphony only he could hear. When the whistling of the tea kettle echoed through the kitchen, he poured the two mugs of tea & handed you one as he grabbed the other & walked back to the bedroom. He cautiously placed you on the bed to make sure neither of you spilled the tea onto the soft white sheets. When he sat down on the bed, you immediately scooted over to him & cuddled up to him with his arm over your shoulders & your head buried in the crook of his neck. & you two just stayed like that for an uncountable amount of time.

Thank goodness you came back.

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thatdeadaquarius · 1 year

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Sobbing and crying just saw your post of us sounding like a Sim, and I am DYING.

What if it went the other way? They can understand us, but we can't understand them!

Us : hey so what the fuck is happening why tf am I in genshin impact

Them : OMG ASKSKSKSKS FEDERRRALL MEERKK TREEESO! (Omg it's the divine God I'm shittinh myself oml) or whatever idk)

Us: excuse me what the fuck did you just say about my mother? (US mishearing or maybe the words are randomized? Who knows)

Everyone just being confused and frustrated on why you can't understand them. Is it because they aren't worshipping you enough? Maybe some friendship level BS where obly those who are lvl 10 can understand u or smth? Who knows, certainly not the Creator.

I highkey am thinking about writing smth for this now but having it be for like each archons reaction or smthin but who knows. I just wanna see a bunch of divine beings confused outta their mind in like whatever cities square and it turning into a "holy game of charades"

Also happy early birthday ajdjdjkdkdkdk

I”M SO LATE SO THANK YOU FOR THE BDAY WISHES LMAO SORRY KARMA MY BELOVED

AHHHHH U INSPIRED ME BY THE ARCHONS HOLY GAME OF CHARADES-

AND OH NO LVL 10 ONLY FRIENDSHIP UNDERSTANDING-

(づ￣ ³￣)づ here have a hug for your patience- sorry karma!! :')

LMAO this inuyasha gif- obviously everyone else guessing what ur doing and the 2 others r like ppl like Venti or Kaeya who r just fucking with ppl by joining you lol

OK BUT WHO DO U HAVE LVL 10 FRIENDSHIP?!

BC I GOT NOBODY 😭

ITS RLLY HARD TO DO OKAY-

I HAVE TO PUT ACTUAL EFFORT INTO THE FEW THAT ARE LEVEL 4-5

ID BE SO FUCKED-

Oh no.

Oh god (you??) no.

What if you had the highest friendship with little d**ks like Scaramouche.

noooOOOOOO

He’d be like, “Eh, I don’t feel like translating today.” 💀

Also I’m rolling with the idea that

perfect understanding = lvl 10,

Most words 7-9

Some words 5-6

Kinda ?? they get 2 words per sentence or smth 3-4

Basically nothing 1-2

◇

Anyway ornery bitches like Scara/Xiao/Alhaitham/Rosaria/Diluc (all for diff reasons like diluc/xiao would just be overwhelmed and dont like ppl that much lol, whereas haitham doesnt give a fuck lmao) would kinda suck to have as translators

OH NOT THE PEOPLE WHO WOULD JUST LIE ABOUT WHAT U SAID ON PURPOSE TO DECEIVE THE MASSES LIKE Heizou/Yae Miko/Kaeya/Venti

They pull something like “oh well the god of gods said I could have the last slice of cake/an extra glass of wine hehe”

For different reasons these people would also be ROUGH translators: FISCHL OH NO- , Zhongli, Albedo (he simply would omit “unnecessary details”, cyno, ITTO PLEASE, Raiden (puppet) bc shed take stuff too far/too literally u would never be able to communicate jokes, Razor (im sorry bbyboy), Shenhe

THE CHARADDEEESSS

THE CHARADES OF THE GODS

You may or may not get another title of a jokester god bc of these SILLY charades 💀

The people u have higher levels of friendship with giving hints LMAO

♤

“Uhhh….. Oh! Oh! Greatest Lord wishes to see a dance performance!”

Nahida’s sweet voice rings out in Yujing Terrace, her tiny hand waving in the air like an elementary student who’s really excited to answer. …Which isn’t that far off honestly.

“Hmm, I disagree Buer, I believe the Hundun Emperor is saying they wish to take a bath perhaps. I am also attempting to use context, as it has been a long day for them.” Zhongli is in his classic “majestic thinking gentleman” pose, and you’d admire it more if it weren’t for the fact that they don’t seem to be getting what you’re saying.

You hadn’t yet found someone with a higher friendship level than 2 or 3 (hey, don’t blame yourself, you really have to put effort into friendship levels to get them anywhere and you were still busy screwing around in Sumeru when you got spirited away).

So needless to say, most people were getting “the, me, I, you, etc.” rather than the actual important keywords you needed them to, hence the godly charade game now.

As you “hold” something, you throw your hands up in the air, still keeping your hands wrapped around nothing. You think if somebody told you last week that you’d be playing charades with the archons in Genshin Impact so you could actually communicate with them… well you don’t know what you would have done. Maybe just gave them a really awkward laugh.

“Oh! Are you asking for a weapon? Akitsu Mikami, my emperor, we or our nations will surely provide protection from any harm that might befall you. Hm, I suppose we should offer something anyway… I wouldn’t want to displease them…” Ei mutters to herself, having taken over her puppet once more for the occasion.

She and Buer, still retaining their authority status, had asked for the area to be cleared in order to try and get closer to communicating with the Divine First, or you.

“Ha! What idiot would try to hurt the All-Parent in their home, unless they wish to get thrown?” Venti cheekily says, as you don’t understand him, but judging by Zhongli’s clenched jaw, Ei’s sigh, and Nahida’s giggle, you can guess.

You give your own sad sigh… it’s already been 3 hours. 😭

How hard is charades for 4 archons??

Well… apparently very hard.

You put your face in your hands, and you hear the (retired) archons start to debate something, you can tell it’s getting a little passive-aggressive between Venti and Zhongli by their tone alone.

…Okay, now it’s just aggressive.

The archons eventually give their attention back to you so you can go back to your charades lol

You tried opening your mouth and closing it, very obvious, they can’t go wrong.

…Turns out they can.

Somehow you find yourself with a hot tea brewed by the geo archon.

(Venti attempted to offer you Dandelion Wine, or Osmanthus Wine even, and only god, well you now, knows where he pulled them from. Ei swatted his head, he looked so offended, and his cheeks were all puffed up, heh.)

Giving up, you just try to motion for them to stay still, your hands gesturing like trying to calm a wild animal.

They give you questioning looks, and you begin to walk off, they all seem to immediately start discussing something with each other. All of the gods look very conflicted, and after a minute of you getting further away (yes, you’re almost home free, Xiangling here you come! ) Nahida skips to catch up with you.

She gives you a beaming smile, and you can’t bring yourself to not return it. She's so much cuter in real life, even the official art didn't do her justice.

You make your way towards the restaurant, finally.

And apparently you’re happier than you thought to smell the savory scents flowing out of the kitchen because your stomach growls loudly.

You’re too hungry to even attempt to stop it, no one will care, except Nahida’s eyes go wide. She begins to sputter, and flail her hands desperately trying to charade an apology at you.

…you were just trying to tell them you were hungry. 💀

☆

Ask box open again! :] 🎊

Pspspspspssubliminalmessagingyouwillsendthatdeadaquariusanaskpssppspspspspssss

✨️Hope you guys got smth out of this rough draft✨️ ♡

:D hope u guys have had a good weekend!

My senior art exhibit is april 6th so wish me luck and prayers (from any religion im not picky pls)

Safe Travels,

💀♒️

♡the beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist

#hope this was alright i felt like my scenario wasnt written the best :/ but i tried ig #i still def wanted to write abt the gods charades lmao #but idk if i did that funny idea justice #venti would literally just mimic whatever charade your doing hes useless #hope u arent a venti main lol #genshin impact #genshin sagau #sagau #genshin imagines #genshin sagau ideas #gender neutral reader #genshin isekai #genshin god reader #genshin impact sagau #genshin impact self aware #my asks #dammit why can tumblr memorize all my tags for me #genshin scenarios

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studentbyday · 7 months

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don't ask me to analyze poetry but sometimes i get the last lines stuck in my head bc it's a long road to get to where i wanna be in life...

D-37 & D-36 DAYS TO FREEDOM

yesterday i studied for 3h and 36 mins. i was supposed to study for 6+ hours. today i will try to make up for it bc yesterday was just not enough time to finish everything i was supposed to. i wonder how long it will take me to figure out (and be okay with) a reasonable to-do list. i really feel like i keep overwhelming myself with things to do that i just keep feeling defeated and demotivated every day bc it's impossible to finish it all in 1 day...

learning:

finish 2nd biochem discussion reply (took 2h 😑) ✅ (why is it *so* *hard* to read and understand biochem papers without reading at a snail's pace?? 😩)

finish 1.5 psyc ch for this week ✅ (OMG THE NEUROSCIENCE OF CONSCIOUSNESS IS SO COOL and also really freaky bc many different brain regions are so dependent on each other so damage may mean you don't actually perceive smth??? unfortunately to allow my brain to osmose the info, i need to slow down 🥺 i wish i could go faster.)

finish biochem sec 1, start sec 2 ✅

self-care:

physio exercises x2 ✅

journal x2 ✅

laundry ✅

update: i could not stick to pomodoro for more than 3h today and i didn't study anymore after that. i could not focus very well after the first hour and a half. i think it's because i didn't sleep well last night. so i'm gonna finally try to be consistent for a week and go to bed between 9-10 even if i don't feel like it and even if i can't fall asleep right away for the first couple of days. also, i think i'll try to reduce the amount of stuff i write on a day's to-do list. i'll still be aiming for 6-8h of studying per day, but we're gonna go with 4 or 5 tasks a day if 2 or 3 of them are small (takes an hour or less) and 3 if all the tasks are big (i.e. takes 2 hours or more) and if i finish early, then everything else i do will be a happy bonus, and if not, that's fine as well bc i'm still gonna get it done within the week, just not this instant. maybe tmr's update will feature a new bujo spread? (i changed it from the 2-page weekly to a super basic 6 column thing that would allow me to timeblock my days but...ofc that didn't help for very long bc all that space allowed me to overwhelm myself every day!)

🎶 liebesleid/love's sorrow - kreisler/rachmaninoff (yes the same set of songs keep getting stuck in my head. it seems to stay like that until i'm able to play them myself. so we're gonna be with this set for a while 😅 as a sidenote, this was a great song to listen to as i journalled about imposter syndrome 😂 it really fit the vibes 😎)

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hwajin · 3 days

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hey! the feedback anon back again

I mean, there’s nothing wrong with just writing for fun and just putting it out there flawed, things don’t have to be perfect to be worth sharing. it’s all just fun and if you want to tell a story you should tell it. its what makes the world go round.

but I think saying “I don’t know how to do it differently” isnt true! have you tried taking a few steps back, coming back to edit it after? check out how other writes do it, learn from them? I think if you wanted to spend the time, and again, it’s optional, it’s a hobby, you could definitely learn. like if you’re aware you overexplain, why don’t you go back over a passage and delete some of it and then read it again to see if it still makes sense? ask a reader for feedback?

idk, I’m just rambling and it’s all up to you, but I think if you tried, you could fix these things <3 it just takes time and some courage and application, but effort always equals reward

take care~

i mean i probably could at some point write differently, but then again, idk i rlly could if that makes sense jfjsjdjd. also, if i even want to — the way i write now suits a certain type of writing i feel like, and i rlly rlly like the way i write, when it comes to drabbles and one-shots. changing my style would mean getting weaker in what i feel confident in, i think. i always say this, serieses and long stories etc etc are my number one weaknesses, and no matter how often i take inspiration from other writers on here i think my writing style simply isn't rlly fit for long stories. like, to a certain point i do rlly think that i can't write differently. like, i have one writer on here in particular who i look up to immensly and no matter how often i read her stories, i can't get behind how she can write the way she writes — it's rlly fascinating because she has strengths everywhere where i have my weaknesses. then again, i sometimes see her saying that one-shots aren't rlly her thing; so yes, i maybe could write differently, but my series won't ever be as good as my one-shots, because everyone's strengths lay elsewhere, i feel like, and we can't master everything! it's kinda like an artist who specializes in a specific style of painting, and lacks in other parts; yes, they could become better at one style if they put enough effort in, but the style they prefer and have a maybe natural talent in will always be better and stronger, and come more naturally, i feel like.

and yes, i do edit my stuff, i do take steps back (probably too much lmao), but what i end up doing is adding things, actually, because it simply feels too vague and not deep enough when i first write it; then again the entire story isn't deep per se, so idk jfjejdj. as i said before, my problem is mainly my inabilty to create worlds because maybe my creativity is limited, or maybe my brain just comes up with stuff in a different way than other ppl's brains, esp those who are very much able to write serieses; even just today, while i was writing on chapter 3, i forgot if my character's a smoker or not, and i feel like that shows my writing process and the fact that i simply do not even know my own characters, because i'm not rlly, like, able to truly create them. it's kinda always been like this, too, long before i started writing for skz and when i still wrote for different artists; i've been trying to write serieses for ages and never even finished one before 'twin flames', and i only truly found my writing style when i discovered one-shots.

so, idk, ig if i rlly wanted to i could learn, in a way, to write serieses/ long story-lines, but then idk if i RLLY could esp since i've been trying to for so long, and it's nowhere near my strength, and also not entirely what i truly enjoy about writing!!! i just wanna dip my toes into smth different from time to time ig, it just sucks a bit that ppl aren't much interested in that!

#sorry for the long post omg #i hope this made sense tho!!#kathys asks

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seiwas · 8 months

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sel I wanna hear the deets of how u and ur bf developed feelings!!!!

niku!! 🥺 welcome to the sleepover!! ✨ omg thank u for asking 🥹 im surprised i haven't told you yet tbh but!!! here goes!!!

let's have a sleepover!! 💗 send me any questions/stories you wanna share!!!

the summer before our senior year of hs we attended this extra study thing to prep us for college admissions!! at this point we were really good friends!! went to junior prom together and everything!! and we were talking almost everyday, but it was rlly just friends!! we didn't coordinate the schedule or anything bc we were both busy with our own stuff apart from the classes but we literally ended up being classmates 😭 like out of all the timeslots we coincidentally ended up in the same one & we were seatmates too!!

the teachers in those classes would tease us a lot cos we sat together in the corner at the front, i'd draw random doodles on his book for him to find later on 😭, and he and his family would drop me home every time they came to fetch him!! because i lived really nearby.

i developed feelings for him that summer, but honestly i think i was denying it for a long time and just admitted it to myself then 😭 a lot of girls found him cute (i did too, when i first met him! but didn't entertain it then bc i had a thing with another guy for a bit (who i'm also still friends with today omg this is another story...)) but!! bc lots of girls were trying to talk to him, i wanted to make sure that i was talking to him out of genuine intent of wanting to be his friend!!

anyway! so i developed feelings the summer before our senior year of hs and tried so hard to make it go away because i didn't want to ruin the friendship 😭 so we spent that year getting closer, talking everyday, going out just the two of us, doing each other's snapchat streaks if the other would be away (if you know that omg) + we were eachother's top snapchat streaks lmao and i thought i was over it!! until i found out that he was considering college abroad.

honestly i think my heart sunk a bit, but also! it was kind of the closure i needed? like. i was set on letting my feelings die along with him leaving for college, y'know? and we could still be friends. but we got together before the year ended so i guess! no need for feelings to die? (then we did ldr for 4 years!)

whenever i ask him how his feelings developed, he can never give me an answer!! but his brother told me recently that i was the only one he was chatting with constantly back then 😭 like he was notoriously bad at replying, as in 2 days delayed shdbfhgs but his brother said that he'd leave others on delivered and just talk to me (still delayed... like a day but HAHAHA better than nothing!!!) & whenever i ask my bf what caused the shift from just friendship to smth more, he always says it's bc he felt & saw a love/care that was different with me (?), like... one that he wouldn't be able to find anywhere else? (sounds sooooo funny now when you think about it, him at 18 thinking that when he's literally never been romantic ever but! maybe he was onto smth bc we're here now 5 years later...)

#niku.🥩#this got so LONG omg i tried to condense it as much as i could #SDBFSADJF I TALK ABOUT HIM TOO MUCH #lovebug #ask #rep #sleepover!#thanks for asking niku sdfbsdfjbas #stellamancer

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skadream · 1 month

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happy ummm 8th month on t? (9th if i were actually on t continuously but i ran out for a month that one time) i used to do monthly t updates on tiktok but i dont rlly feel like doing that rn so i'll yap about it here (its actually wild how little stuff i have about my transition on my tumblr generally speaking? as if this isnt the website that transed my gender in the first place)

it really is hard to notice such gradual changes from month to month, especially if its just me lookin at myself, compared to seeing a doctor in person which, i am getting rx'd T thru telehealth currently as my nearest planned parenthood or even a neighboring one does not actually do gender affirming care which is. insane and whack. esp when i do live in a pretty populated county maybe second or third to nyc and albany area. and i have to call in to a pp THREE HOURS BY TRANSIT from me. but like, its been working for now ok!

mentally and emotionally ive been very up and down overall but i think thats largely due to my medication changes rather than hormones. ALTHOUGH. when i ran out for a month in november and my period came back... dude it was so horrible like genuinely the worst period of my life. its one of those things where i didnt realize just how dysphoric something could make me feel until i had a taste of being able to alleviate said dysphoria. so mentally speaking testosterone is probably pulling the mental train even more than the wellbutrin lol. and im trying not to account too much for circumstance/environment cuz like OBVIOUSLY if things were going smoothly for me there a lot of my emotional issues would be at least somewhat relieved, but im working with what i got.

physically, since starting t in july i have lost weight. at first i was very scared it was my medication, and i think a part of it was at least a little, like two of my meds can cause some weight loss, but i am no longer losing weight in a concerning way but just yknow the regular amount of daily fluctuation. so i do think a lot of my weight loss was due to hormones just shifting around my fat and all that, or something idk lol. everyones so diff with hormones, i know some trans guys gain weight on t and not necessarily from muscle training, i know girls on e who have lost weight without any changes to diet or exercise, it really depends so as always, this is just my experience etc etc

i do have more facial hair but its still quite patchy, i think i might start filling in my stache tho. with my shitty goatee, its not my fav so i shave it off when im not just sitting inside all day, but also idk it makes my chin feel less. round. or smth. i do always think of my one friend telling me ill look like the lead singer of a nü metal band and honestly maybe i should start giving that energy more anyway! embrace goatee lifestyle!

oh yeah my voice dropped in like the first two months and has gotten deeper since, and on timtom i talked a lot about wanting to maintain the vocal range i had pre-t? i dont think thats fully possible like i think the highest notes i used to reach are just inaccessible to me, but i think if i did some like vocal singing warmups i can get back up to reach those higher notes. in retrospect the way ive sung my whole life has actually prob been destructive on my voice, partly from lack of proper training and partly intentionally trying to sound deeper and more gravelly, but now that i can access deeper sounds more naturally i really do wanna work on singing in a better way where i can reach some of those notes.

overall yea im liking whats happening so far, i do wish it was happening faster but i understand that some people dont get the progress ive gotten for like, YEARS, and new progressions will be happening to me for years after today. if you think about "real" puberty, it is a gradual shift its not like you suddenly grow a chest as soon as you Bleed or whatever its different for literally every person and since im the only one in my family that i know of who has done this, im kind of a guinea pig. but like im okay with that! anyway yeah really recommrnd testosterone if u want it i like it :)

#arcyaps

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starlostseungmin · 2 months

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ATE KEISY 😇✌️ i just binged ur works i missed over my hiatus hihi and i want to say that i loved them all !!! i think i only have empyrean prince cascades left cause its a bit long, so i decided to save it for my bedtime story today or tomorrow

but ate. lie to me.... it was so good 😭😭😭 YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW I MUCH I PHYSICALLY REACTED READING IT???? jaw dropped. its such an interesting read, like i dont think ive been this excited over a story structure in so long AND I LITERALLY HAD WRITING CLASSES FOR TWO SEMESTERS LIKE I WAS SO INVESTED IN READING IT

i dont think ive ever read a fic structured like that before? i mean ive encountered similar stuff but not in fics ... overall im just hyped at it ur so big brain ily and i love your works and i love your writing and its so huhuhuhu i cant stop thinking about it !!!! my other reactions on the story are in my reblog tags but still i think i'll keep that fic in my mind a lot (kinda wanna do smth like it too... ur so my inspiration coded)

OMG!! hi cielle! i'm currently reading your other feedbacks and i'm so happy you love my works. there are only a few since i haven't been so consistent with my writing after graduation hsksksk tbh i'm entertained (hard on that kauyabon core because me too TT) i'll reply to the rest in a bit.

i hope you enjoy empyrean prince cascades tho! it's one of my favorite fics and it took me weeks to write it! i know it's pretty short for a 10k-worth of words to write in weeks, i was so busy when i wrote it and i had to squeeze in during my work days HAHAHA and please take your time reading the story. it's kinda long tho 🥹

AAAH yes lie to me.. i wrote that fic for like a day or two days before the deadline for the collab? i forgot, i was also occupied that time. kdramas influenced me on writing that too and there was a song that was assigned to me to be able to make a story out of it! yung story sana eh masaya na sila sa piling ng iba chuchu but then i realized, cheating will make sense so i had to write it with that. i just finished my thesis that time too so maybe nadala ko yung pagsusulat ng thesis namin sa fic na yan? believe me i don't really have experience to these romance and cheating stuff, i just wrote what i see in other people talaga HAHAHAHA and lie to me felt like a rushed fic that time?? i didn't know it would turn out to be good for the readers since i wasn't confident with the result but thank you for your warm feedback cielle! and lucky you for having writing classes tho, i envy you!

thank you so much for appreciating me and my work even though sometimes my brain is not working properly. i just write whatever the hell my brain tells me and i hope i have a big brain to cater everything that i want to write! maybe soon, more future works to come HEHEHE i have an upcoming seungmin and chan fic this month sooo i just hope it will turn out good.

you flatter me cielle! i can't thank you enough 😭🩷

#🧸 ；友達. ❜#✉️ ；mails. ❜#LOVE ；けいじ。❞

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zeondraws · 9 months

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Getting a bit nostalgic

youtube

I still remember when this came out, I was on an island while covid was going on. I got super excited watching this. To think rectangular vehicles could be entertaining to watch.

Not sure what specifically makes me wonder about it tonight. Maybe it's just because I am dealing with my negative thoughts so much again. Battling my demons each day

I just look at this and think, this brings me joy. To think that these busses slowly dragged me into getting more invested and interested in them. Atleast I think it helped me greatly to deal with daily life and my art. It gave me some purpose when it comes to my life goals.

There were so many factors at play around this time period two years ago. I felt lost, not knowing what to do. Quite frankly I still feel a bit lost but I gained a goal. Something to look forward to. Because I already achieved one of my long term goals, I have a job at a place I always wanted to be. Now I need another goal so that I can look forward to something and enjoy the moment more.

I feel scared as I usual do, to be honest I either worry about? Being unable to achieve the goal duo to my mental state maybe? But it's mostly because I worry alot of being replaced. It's something common thrown around current workplace environments in general. I worry about being replaceable in everything. It's duo to my childhood.

I just want to have some purpose in life. Daydreaming about silly things, wanting to show child me that I can do the things she always wanted to do. Things she worried about not being able to achieve. I daydream about silly stories about imaginary characters because it makes my day feel better. And I want to put something out in the world for people to enjoy. So that their days could feel nicer, since becoming an adult made me understand alot of the struggles people have. And I just wanna be here to put a smile on people's faces. It's just hard when my own mental health struggles at times. But through the pain I try to put my emotions on a canvas. And this helped me alot recently. Art feels like my therapy.

Sometimes I notice I am really passionate about the things I find interesting, where I talk looooong texts such as this one explaining my thoughts.

I just really find busses interesting, they helped me go through the toughest times and put a smile on me when I needed one. I can't imagine how I'd go on about my daily life without wondering what to draw next with them. My art felt like it had no real goal before this.

I made this today

First time I have these planetary labs pictured in one image as a summary. I get the feeling I am getting closer to what child me wanted to do.

(context this image is part of my bus story "Offworld" I'm trying to develop and turn into smth animated)

I just hope that busworld will be fun, I am a bit afraid to showcase my stuff to people but there is only one way to go.

Because I often feel drained whenever I go through youtube or other social media platforms because I know I won't find the type of bus content I want. If I want change I gotta do it. And I have to smth on youtube soon, Instagram's algorithm makes it so hard to reach a new audience. How do I want to showcase my work to people if Instagram feeds them the same stuff over and over again and makes people fed up with the app?

I gotta do etsy at some point aswell. I still have to look through the legal aspects but I think there should be some way.

(the amount of Volkswagen beetles sold as prints is chaotic, it's always this vehicle, school bus, routemaster or some random old bus)

I'm about to drop asleep, I had so many more thoughts about busses. Just feels weird at times thinking "Wait am I drawing this rectangular vehicle as a cat right now?.... *continues drawing*"

Also I really wish I could visit a bus manufacturer and just look at concept vehicles and art, please just once-

#zeons thoughts #might private later #let me consume the art #nomnomnomnomnomnomnomnom #Youtube #thought post

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spacedykez · 1 year

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Hiii just read your coral kids fanfic and it said to scream to you on tumblr about it/them in general so here I go:

Just FOR YOUR INFORMATION I was reading your ff during lunch break today and it broke me (in the best ways) I literally had to fight back tears. IT'S SOO GOOD WTFF I LOOOVE

The way your wrote Scott and Martyn has me in shambles! I relate so much to them but also I just wanna be like them and also I JUST WANT EVERYTHING FOR THEM OKAY THEY DESERVE THIS q.q

The parallels for both to 3rd life OH BOIII I was shaking and I loved every second of it. Esp the direct parallel´-scenes and such CHEF'S KISS I WANNA PUNCH A WALL.

Next thing that made me go insane is the colour-thingy. I didn't know I needed bright colour Scott in my life but OH BOI YES also the parallels between Martyn and Jimmy??? like??? My head is spinning and I feel like there's smth I missed but I enjoy having a spinny-head over blorbos <3

Oh and also how GOOD you've woven the series and curses and alliances together - it makes all so much sense and it just shows how hurt they are and also how deeply they feel- once again I would like to punch a wall

Despite that emotional level i LOVED how you got the humor and their personality down and their flirty selves and all that CHEF'S KISS THANK YOU SO MUCH

so yeah might have to reread and adopt parts of that into my own self bc it's jsut so SO good but I'm so very glad you wrote it <3<3<3

HIHI M SORRY I TOOK SO LONG TO REPLY TO THIS. short answer Life Happened. anyways!!! you are my favoritest person ever right now i adore you.

THANK YOU!!!! traffic!scott is one of my #1 projection characters he is just like me fr. obviously i have not been put through three death games like he has skldfjsd but i do relate to him quite a bit so i'm sure that shows through in my writing. theres no deeper reason that i was able to write an entire section about scott being lonely/scared everyone was going to leave him. at all. ever. absolutely not that would be crazy. (/sarcasm)

references/callbacks to other series my beloved!!! i am soooo emotionally stable abt 3L/DL (/lying). i don't know how obvious it was (probably very obvious but anyways) but i never really watched LL i only have a bit of knowledge from tumblr osmosis (the reason i didn't watch it has nothing to do w the series and more to do w general life stuff at the time that's not really relevant)

SPINNY HEAD OVER BLORBOSSS YES I have spinny head over blorbos syndrome. i cannot get over how martyn and jimmy are like opposites. jimmy was always in need of protection by scott, scott was always there to protect him (or try to) (and sidenote i love flower husbands and i will not tolerate flower husbands slander but thats another post). martyn is the opposite. where jimmy was in need of protection, martyn wants to provide scott with protection. theres just. theres something there. they make me insane /pos

I LOVE MAKING THE GAMES AS ANGSTY AS POSSIBLE they are all so traumatized autismbless <3 they r all so hurt they r all hurt people hurting others because they are desperate and i am so insane over the life series in general

i may have watched. a bit of scott smajor. just a bit. yk. a tiny smidge. a small amount. maybe. just maybe- /sarcasm

(i have watched an ungodly amount of smajor content . and i will admit i wasnt as sure about martyn goin in because i HAVE written him before but only once and i've not watched him as much before LimLife. i think i got him down? people seem to like it ! so i think i succeeded :D)

#asks #majorwood #trafficshipping #neonwizardheehee

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thisdreamplace · 1 year

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hi dreamplace. i need some advice. i’ve been wanting to manifest having a hairless body because shaving is like a killer. 💀 it’s so frustrating seeing the 3d with unwanted bs. so i looked into laser hair removal today and I have enough money for the down payment but then i have to pay monthly for the rest. that sounds like shit for me. 😭😭😭 if a do it, i’ll have to force myself to find a job to pay it off. idek if that’ll work out well for me bc life has been such a struggle for me, sadly. in the end, i guess it’s best if I keep trying to manifest the hair away. bc the money situation stresses me out. so ig the i just need advice on, what do you do when the 3d is showing what you don’t want continuously?? it’s not even just the shaving that gets on my nerves, there’s a career path that I want but literally everything i want just never shows but it dangles in my face lol. just like the laser hair removal. i literally got a full consultation with the nicest woman ever. i got excited, just for my ass to not be able to do it. 🤣 it’s sad but i have to laugh. just ugh. i wish i had a secret code to finally get shit to go right for me, even the smallest things. 😩

hewwo <3

if the 3d is continuously not showing me what i want, i move into acceptance and surrender. bc im done. i'm not about to keep getting so caught up in smth when i have a choice, and could be using my time to enjoy whats going on in my present life. period !

here's the thing about it, u have to feel out ur feelings and allow them to be there. allow the disappointment and frustration but also surrender to it. it essentially feels like giving up. the thing is, u get a lot more clear about everything thru this and youre not so clouded by ur own fears anymore. for example, in ur ask u are so focused on how hard u think ur life is. but its like. to be fair i'm not going to tell u to keep sitting there and trying to force in ur hair being gone thru a manifestation bc clearly its been frustrating for u. however ! even after being so close to get what u want, instead of being open to it u went back to the drawing board talkin about some "even if i got a job whats the point nothing works out well" like !! wat ? how are u going to let life change and allow in ur blessings when u rather reject them... immediately ! so what if u fail ? u did smth different, u stopped pouting about lack and u tried to do smth u enjoyed. that counts for so much more than people give it credit for !! i would really urge u to stop using ur life till now as a blueprint and allow life, when it comes knocking with opportunities, and to allow yourself, to be open to whats coming into view for u. the more u focus on that and less on problems (past or imaginary) the more you'll see things shifting. thats just a fact ! plus i do wanna say too many of yall are obsessed with these wizard results (idk how else to call them rn) that u can't even see a success in front of you. and trust ik those type of successes exist bc it has happened to me plenty. but ALSO. life is a journey before it is wizards of waverly place. in my mind, i would have been like omg ! laser hair removal ! i can afford it rn and the consultation was great ! THIS MUST BE IT. but u saw it is as NOT a successful manifestation and ur saying maybe u should just sit there hoping ur hair disappears ? idgi. sometimes things just kinda appear, thats true. sometimes you actually go through a process and get to experience life. and that is amazing and exciting !

also emphasis on ALLOWING. allowing change, allowing opportunities, allowing emotions, allowing fears, allowing life to be what you want. bc rn this was a moment for u to see even if life gives u what u want, ur not going to allow it. but like a post i recently reblogged said, an anon was saying how they finally realized they already had so much of what they were sitting there thinking they lacked ! like omg, its so insane but so beautiful when we wake up to it. u only saw obstacles in that moment, which highlights ur focus ! let this be a moment of renewal and moving forward in an entirely diff direction ! <3

the secret code is fully you and the way you are perceiving life. its not any technique or challenge out there. our good doctor joe dispenza could really help u on this if u like reading. reading his book, "breaking the habit of being yourself" was the most pivotal thing for me to finally realize how i had been so caught up in who i thought i was, that i wouldnt even allow things to be different and yet i would sit there frustrated about why my 3d isnt shifting in the ways i intended. that book really makes you confront who you actually live as, and helps you start making the shifts into who you actually want to be. this is how your life begins to truly change.

#this ended up much longer than i intended #but i hope it is helpful <3

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