#I like to think this did more good than 13 reasons why did harm (don't correct me)

[barrymccaulkinem]

"Oh, the sun will rise in the mornin' Or so I'm told. But who knows? You could win a million bucks in the mornin' And then get rolled by a mob of stinkin' hobos Good news, you can't lose when you tell Mr Blues that you choose to keep goin'

Don't ever stop! We'll just keep on moving forward Even if we don't know what we're moving toward They say life's too short but they're wrong Its so long! Sometimes the only way to go Is to just go on

Keep a smile in your pocket while the wolf is ra-ta-tatin' on the door Just lock it tight Keep a dream in your heart and you'll never ever want for more Unless you're in a knife fight Chin high, spit in the eye Of the folks who can't stop laughing at the stupid things you've done

Don't ever stop, even though your heart is breaking Don't look over your shoulder at the love you've left behind They say life's too short but they're wrong It's so long! Sometimes the only way to go Is to just go on"

#uks #unbreakable kimmy schmidt #carol kane #titus burgess #uncredited child singer. i hope theyre credited somewhere #I like to think this did more good than 13 reasons why did harm (don't correct me) #is that the right no. of reasons? i didnt care to see it :p

[yuikomorii]

Who in DL do you think needs better routes?

// ✨Everyone✨

This is merely my opinion but while DL got some really enjoyable moments, no route was above average. I suppose this is my way of thinking because I've been through so many otome games that my standards have become waaaay too high. I don't just mean it because of the love interests, since I can think of over 10 games with LIs meaner than the Diaboys were in HDB/MB, but I feel like no route has anything that good to it and they're frequently flawed and poorly balanced.

The development feels way too many times really forced or it barely lasts. I mean, there are some characters who truly seem to have evolved throughout the route but in the last chapters or good endings, their development proves to be completely useless or even worse: it gets erased, which is really sad.

Another thing I’m not particularly fond of is how they turned Yui, in the later games, more into an emotional support rather than the heroine of the story because there are several routes where she’s written to be of no great use and it makes no sense since she’s supposed to be the MC?? I do understand that the love interests need to get the spotlight but the heroine has to be just as active as them. ://

I dislike how some routes attempt to redeem Karlheinz. We already know the reasons behind his actions, and he feels no remorse for those he has harmed, so he does not deserve to be portrayed positively.

DL is already messed up as it is but toxic forgiveness is often portrayed as a sign of kindness, although it’s actually creepy and when it comes to the Diaboys, that’s heavy on Ayato. I understand forgiving someone for yourself because YOU don’t want to hold any sort of grudge or hate in your heart (like Laito did in DF) but forgiving someone after they treated you extremely badly AND still caring for them or being written to befriend them afterwards, is way over the top and if you know such people irl, please check on them because they’re not okay.

The endings are getting so poorly written and I don’t get why. HDB and MB had some unexpected and genuinely interesting endings, but they became less impactful later on, and I swear, some Diaboys have the same endings as others, just slightly modified.

I'm not trying to sound ungrateful because I still love DL; after all, I'm part of this fandom; it's just that I wish the writers would put a little more effort into the routes. I understand how difficult it is to write for 13 different characters, but there are more writers, each with their own ideas, and it is also their job so expecting the Diaboys to get good routes is actually understandable.

#diabolik lovers #admin #dialovers #(most routes are still decent though) #(it’s not like they’re bad) #(they just have to be better written) #yui komori #ayato sakamaki #kanato sakamaki #laito sakamaki #reiji sakamaki #shu sakamaki #subaru sakamaki #ruki mukami #kou mukami #yuma mukami #azusa mukami #carla tsukinami #shin tsukinami #kino

[katnissdoesnotfollowback]

What's your opinion of President Snow as a character in THG trilogy? Was he a great villain?

* Spoiler for TBOSAS *

After reading the novel, what's your opinion about Coriolanus Snow 'transformation' in the end?

Was it his nature or the way he was nurtured that led him to become the character we know?

Thank you :)

@curiousnonny

Snow was a Bond villain and I will die on this hill. He's awful, don't get me wrong, and I certainly would never want to meet someone like him, but there are so many more efficient ways for him to get what he wants, for him to keep control of Panem. He fixates so much on Katniss Everdeen that he loses sight of almost every other threat. I mean... why send Peeta back hijacked to kill one person when he could send Peeta to 13 carrying some kind of lethal disease that would wipe out a large portion of 13's population without harming the weapons or infrastructure? He takes on his fight with Katniss and Peeta with single minded determination and basically forgets that his real enemy isn't just this one girl and her pesky tag along baker boy. These are two kids from District 12 who, while they certainly have a large impact, are by no means the largest or most important piece of the rebellion game. At times it feels like they are because we're in Katniss's head and only see her perspective, but the rebellion and the overthrow of the Capitol happens mostly not in front of Katniss.

That said, Snow tells us in Ballad that he has a tendency to be obsessive and fixate on one thing, and if I remember correctly, Collins even drops the foreshadowing line of "it would be his undoing if he didn't learn to control it" or something to that effect in case we missed the point the first time around when he tells Katniss that he was so busy watching her that he didn't see Coin coming. So that's exactly what happened he didn't control his tendency to obsess when it came to Katniss and Peeta.

And I don't think that makes him a "great" villain. I think it makes him the villain that makes sense for this story. And the one with the right kind of flaws for the plot of the original trilogy to make sense and work well.

One of the things that's actually really good about Collins returning to Panem to tell us Snow's story with Ballad is that Snow finally makes sense in the original trilogy, rather than being a caricature villain. He spends the entirety of Ballads obsessed with Sejanus and Lucy Gray, even though he doesn't want to be. He can't figure them out, and while he manages to "beat" them both by literally getting the one killed and possibly killing the other, his actions still stem from his inability to understand them or control them, and therefore his obsession with them. And then 65 years later he does the same thing, only he can't understand and therefore can't control these two kids either and thankfully just keeps (ultimately) failing with his Drama King tactics like dropping a bunch of roses from a bomber in order to play with Katniss's head rather than do something that would, you know... actually be an effective war tactic. And he does it all in the name of trying to get them to kill each other the way he killed Sejanus and Lucy Gray.

As for the nature versus nurture question, I think it's a little bit of both? We are of course, always influenced by the people around us. But the whole thing about Snow being 17 and right on the cusp of adulthood in Ballads is that yes, how you were nurtured impacts your decisions, and he was certainly raised and taught to become what he did, but Snow in Ballads was also literally surrounded by a thousand chances to do the right thing or to become a better person. I don't think he was nurtured in a way that would've made him heroic in our eyes. Not at all. But he didn't have to be so awful. And a lot of it also has to do with the REASONS he does what he does. He only helps Lucy Gray because it helps himself. He only befriends Sejanus because it benefits himself (momentarily). He only listens to Dr. Gaul because it benefits himself, and he ignores Dean Highbottom because those thoughts make him uncomfortable and angry.

There were any number of people showing Snow or telling him how to be kind, humane, thoughtful, and he ignored them all or dismissed them as weak, stupid, inconsequential (how do you like that call back to Peeta's words huh?). Tigris, Lucy Gray, Sejanus, the guy from the bar whose name escapes me but who was always kind to Coryo and his family. And yet Snow actively kept choosing to be a violent, murderous, entitled dickbag.

Thanks for the ask, @curiousnonny!!!

#curiousnonny #thg thoughts #anonymous #look at that ask

[pessimisticpigeonsworld]

The Problems with HOTD's Alicent

Hotd made a lot of interesting choices about their characterizations, especially when it comes to Alicent. First off, there's the obvious age change, which I know has been commented on a lot, so I'm not going to be talking about that in this post. What I'm going to talk about is the changes in her character itself (made supposedly in the name of feminism might I add) and why that hurts the story itself.

To start off: the constant victimization. Now, having Alicent being a victim of marital rape is not my issue, it was definitely not uncommon in the time period asoiaf is based on. My issue is turning it and her many other victimizations into one of her only personality traits. Literally Alicent's main traits are: Rhaenyra's former bff, victim of Otto, victim of Viserys, teen mom, and victim of Larys. Can everyone see the pattern? Victimization for the sake of it is disgusting and exploitative, and it's even worse when they, in order to fulfill the storyline created by grrm, turn her into an abuser herself. Like she has no development past the victim-abuser cycle and its depressing at best and enraging at worst. How is that feminist?

Now how does that hurt the story? Well I did allude to it above, but I say it clearly this time: it gives her no character arc and stunts one of the main characters which cripples any emotional tension the writers are trying to build. Rhaenyra in episode 8 may as well be talking to Alicent in episode 5, which is the last time we see Alicent develop at all. We see Rhaenyra change over the episodes, especially over the 10 year time skip, but Alicent remains the spiteful, paranoid girl she was at the end of episode 5. That's half the fucking season as a stagnant character! This wouldn't be so bad if she was a side character, like Harwin and Lyonel, but she's literally one of the main characters, how the fuck is this good writing?

Next change: turning Alicent's main motivation into protecting her children. This is something I like to call the Cersei effect: the belief that if your main female antagonist, just giving her the role of protective mom is all you need to make her nuanc3ed. Which is total bs and totally misses what exactly it was that makes Cersei an interesting antagonist. Actually they took more than just the children thing from Cersei, I think that's also where they got the marital rape, loveless marriage, and being called the ex's name from. But anyway, the reason this angle doesn't work (aside from it being fucking lazy) is because, in this story, Alicent helps start a fucking civil war. How the fuck does that protect her kids?? And on top of that, how does forcing your 13 y/o daughter to her 15 y/o abusive brother (and don't say Aegon wasn't an abuser yet, he was bullying and harassing Aemond long before the marriage) protect her? By keeping her close? What was she going to do, supervise them every time they're alone? Make sure Aegon is sober and not assaulting her? Basically what I'm getting at: Alicent's actions are completely counter-intuitive to her supposed main goal of protecting her children. And it shows since she had to live through all of them dying because of her and Otto's actions.

The reason that is harmful to the story is pretty much what I said above, but I'll say it more clearly here: if your antagonist/rival's actions are completely nonsensical with their goal, they are a bad antagonist/rival and the story is therefore lacking any real conflict. The only time Alicent's actions made some sense were in episode 7 when she attacked Rhaenyra, that was clearly years of resentment boiling over and anger over how Viserys reacted to her son's maiming. That is the only time I've ever found her compelling after episode 3.

All this to say: Alicent's hotd characterization makes no sense and it destroys any actual conflict beyond pettiness in the story, which completely ruins it. Thank you for reading this far, I know this was really fucking long.

#alicent hightower #anti hotd #anti team green #anti alicent stans #anti alicent hightower #team black #rhaenyra targaryen #rant post

[joesalw]

Man it's literally embarrassing how Taylor Swifts PR tries to manipulate and convince everyone she's bigger than Michael Jackson or the Beatles. Like given the narcissistic vibes this woman gives me she probably enjoys the comparsions and wants to be seen as bigger. But if you really look into it. It's bullshit.

Like her having 3 number one albums or something this year. Yeah she also released 3 albums. Not saying it's not impressive. But Mj did like one album every 5 year. He had admitted countless of times that he is a high perfectonist and doesn't get the product out until it was perfect. Why else does he have tje highest selling album (Thriller) and second highest selling album by a solo artist ( Bad). He has 5 out of 6 albums to sell over 20M.

He also wrote like 120 songs per album. So if he wanted to get like 3 or more number one albums he easily could have. But if you know a little bit how he was you would know that being just good wasn't good enough for him. With that man everything had to be perfect. That's not something I think just the fans it's knowledge of the general public in general.

Second the 1 billion Tour gross. Yeah impressive. But what about her attendance. MJs Tickets were cheap. Even for todays Standards. 16 Dollars back then or 20 Dollars and he also gave some of them away for free.

What matters actually is attendance. But ofc they never want to talk about that. MJ had a 12.4M or 13M attendance in a span of 3 solo tours. Taylor Swift has 9.7M in the span of 5 tours excluding the Eras Tour. So probably will have a higher attendance in total eventually but what he could done with 3 tours ( 2 of them not even touring in the US) she had to do with 6 tours.

And it MJ didn't Tour in the US during his History Tour where he pulled 4.5M attendance.

Second is that bullshit Eras suprassing This is it. First This is it which most normal people know can't even be a concert tour because he died before doing any show. Second Eras only grossed more in the US. Globally he is far ahead.

He has a top ten hit during 5 different DECADES! 6 if you included the Jackson 5.

And some said that she sells 1M albums (not specifically said which ones) per week. Which is very hard to believe. Couldn't find any data on that. The only thing I have that she sold like 13 or 14M in this year. MJs Thriller ( one album) sold like 1M for a week for a year. Bad sold 7M in the first week.

Like nobody cares how much money she makes or how many albums she gets to chart on billboard during the streaming era. It just shows how money hungry and chart obsessed she is.

And they still think they can speak on him. I saw some mjfans on twitter putting swifties in place as well as arianators rihanna fans and other fandoms for various reasons.

Like Rihanna is the best selling female recording artist in the 21th century. Rihanna made like 8 studio albums and Taylor Swift 10 so far. On top of that Rihannas last album came out in 2016.

But the only thing Swifties hear is Billionaire 1billion gross, economy. (Do they seriously think MJ never had an influence on the economy? The guy who saved MTV from bankruptcy? They guy who filmed They don't care about us in Brazil to showcase the poverty and had had a huge influence into making it a better place?) What has Taylor Swift done with her suppossed influence? Huh. Why does he have statues around the world and got crowned King somewhere in Africa. Taylor Swift ain't doing that. The only thing she does is ruining the planet with her carbon emissions of her private jet and stay silent on a literal genocide. Or weaponizing the word feminism ( I want to read a thesis how this woman puts feminism back instead of forward. Like I swear by misusing it for her damn white feminism and influencing her impressionable stupid fans she's actually doing more harm than good. )

.

#anti taylor swift #swifties dni #michael jackson

[witchimagefanfic]

Snape Asks

Do you have a snOTP? What is it?

Sure, Snape x [First name] (specifically my OC) haha

2. What do you think is Snape's favourite colour and why?

Black? Like...obviously. You think he'd wear so much of it if he didn't genuinely like it?

3. Which Disney character, according to you is most like Snape?

Scar. I don't think there's another answer.

4. Do you think Snape remained a virgin?

I hate this question. Absolutely NOT. The dude was guilty about his best friend's death, it doesn't mean he never had sex. The only way he would have is if he were fully asexual (which, to be fair, seems possible).

5. Do you think Snape ever loved anyone other than Lily, romantically or platonically?

Romantically, no. Platonically, I think he loved Dumbledore and Draco.

6. If Snape learnt another language, which would he choose?

Latin, doy.

7. Which staff member do you think gets along well with Snape?

Dumbledore. I don't think he and McGonagall were friends, despite the fluffy popular head canons. Mutual respect, sure, but not friendship. Otherwise, I don't see him hanging out with any other staff.

8. If you had to assign Snape to a house, which one would it be?

Slytherin. No question. Dude was immensely ambitious.

9. What are your personal headcanons on Snape's diet and favourite foods?

I think eating was a chore for him. He probably had one favorite meal at any given time and it was all he wanted to eat. It'd change monthly. Sometimes he'd have a bread-and-cheese month, sometimes he'd have an eggs-and-bacon month. Otherwise he'd forget to eat.

10. Do you think Snape's character has changed the way you think/feel about others?

Yeah, I mean I hate James Potter. That's more because of the Marauders stans though. What a toxic community.

11. Your favourite scenes with book/movie!Snape?

Literally every book Snape scene.

12. If you had to chose a Golden trio era student to be Snape's friend, who would it be and why?

Luna.

13. Do you think Alan Rickman contributed to your love for Snape?

Yeah, but I loved book Snape first.

14. What do you think is Snape's favourite potion to prepare?

Probably changes based on the month. Whatever's fascinating him at the moment. Something complicated and finnicky, definitely.

15. If Snape had any free time, how do you think he would spend it?

Reading, drinking wine, doing up his buttons, smoking.

16. Were you ever a Snater? How and when did you become a Snover?

God no. I have taste.

17. Do you think Snape was unhappy even after joining the DEs?

Yes, definitely. I don't think it ever gave him what he was looking for.

18. Your favourite physical feature of Snape?

Eyes.

19. According to you, what is Snape's biggest flaw?

Being a dick for absolutely no reason. Lack of chill.

20. Why do you love Snape so much?

He's powerful and brilliant and misunderstood. He's also a weird sexy feral emo boy. He's also a professor and like...sheesh.

21. What particular memory do you think Snape used to conjure his patronus?

Something with Lily obviously. Could be anything. The day they met, hanging out by the Black Lake, laughing in class. It probably changes.

22. Do you think Lily was a good friend to Severus?

Not really. Maybe when they were kids, but once she started hating his friends, there's a real sense that she thought she was too cool for him.

23. What do you think Snape wore under his robes?

Dude what? Trousers.

24. Do you think Snape ever self-harmed?

I don't think he'd see the point.

25. Is there any other character you love as much as Snape? Do you think they'll get along?

Yeah. And no, they absolutely would not get along.

26. What genre do you think Snape preferred to read?

Crime, thrillers, non-fiction, historical fiction, maybe some horror

27. Do you think Snape was close to his mother?

No. I think he was disappointed by her. But he loved her more than he loved his dad.

28. Do you think you'd like being taught by Snape?

Only if we were fucking. Otherwise, from what I've seen he seems like a pretty lazy and demanding teacher.

29. How do you headcanon Snape's bedroom would look like?

Queen bed with dark sheets, a few bookcases, a desk and reading chair.

30. If you could give young Snape any advice, what would it be?

You're better than your origins. James Potter sucks--rise above it. And don't listen to the fucking Death Eaters man, come on. Dark Arts aren't the only magical mysteries left.

31. Do you think Snape had any mental illnesses? Which ones and why?

Yeah, dude. If the guy wasn't depressed I will eat my fucking hat. He was probably anxious as hell too. Maybe on the spectrum.

32. If you could change Snape's middle name to be something other than Tobias what would you choose?

Do people have opinions on this?

33. Top 3 songs you think will show up in Snape's most played?

There Is a Light That Never Goes Out - The Smiths

The Killing Moon - Echo & the Bunnymen

Bela Lugosi's Dead - Bauhaus

34. Do you have any Snape NOTPs?

I hate Snape x any of the Potters. Lily, James and Harry need to back off. Haven't they put him through enough?

35. Snapey BROTPs?

No, I want my man lonely and annoyed.

36. Did Snape get sick often? Your headcanons for when he was sick?

I don't think OFTEN. He'd definitely refuse to go to the hospital wing and brew his own cures. Probably worked when he was sick too. Stubborn ass.

37. Snape didn't pay attention to his physical appearance, but if you had to choose a part he would take care of, which would it be?

I disagree, I think the dude knew how to dress. I also think he cleaned his nails.

38. Which type of weather does Snape prefer?

Gray and cool.

39. How do you think Snape spent his early childhood days?

Hiding from his dad, finding joy where he could.

40. Other than Lily, who do you think impacted Snape's life the most?

Dumbledore. I think Narcissa and Lucius did too. Probably some of his DE friends--Mulciber springs to mind.

41. Is there a side to Snape that he hasn't let anyone see? What do you headcanon this "secret personality" to be like?

I don't think he laughs in public often. I think you'd have to be really close to see that.

42. Do you think Snape cried often?

As a kid and teenager, yes. I think at some point those tears dried up though.

43. What's your favourite headcanon about Snape?

He's actually a good professor and not as ugly as Harry seems to think.

44. Is there a movie/song/book that reminds you of Snape?

Tons of songs remind me of him. Sunburn by Muse will forever be the Broken Silence anthem.

45. What mode of magical travel would suit Snape the best?

God, anything but a fucking broom.

46. Your opinion on Snape's sexuality?

Realistically, somewhere on the demi spectrum. Possibly ace. In my head he's like a dom, bi-curious brat tamer though.

47. Which of the Marauders do you think Snape could have gotten along with?

If there was ever even a SHOT it would have been Lupin. The least awful of them.

48. How many points do you think Snape would've awarded during his career?

Sounds like he awarded a lot to Slytherins. Uncountable.

49. Did you feel Snape was the "good guy" even before the reveal?

Yep. I never lost faith.

50. Do you prefer tall!Snape or short!Snape?

Tall.

51. Had Snape lived, would he continue teaching at Hogwarts?

ARE YOU JOKING? ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOT.

[rockbottomwithashovel]

Tw suicide

Hey guys. I'm just posting this to say why... And to say I'm sorry. I don't know what to say, I suck at goodbyes. I just don't think I can do this anymore. It's like the universe is giving me more reasons to die each day.

I never wanted it to be this way. I started to think I could actually recover, live a long and happy life. But that moment was so short. I just can't do it.

I haven't been able to be happy for more than a minute since I was 10. I was just a child, and I had already gone through so much. But it was only just starting.

When I was 7 or 8 I was sexually assaulted. It was around this time that I started to more or less live on pot noodles as I wasn't allowed to make anything, but my mum mentally couldn't either.

When I was 10-13 I was emotionally and mentally abused. I was bullied for years, they made me do things and if I didn't I'd be the one with the bruise. The guilt eats me every day. There are rooms and memories from that time and school that don't make sense and I can't remember. I don't know why. The bullying even came from teachers. This was a private Christian school.

From when I was 10 I had to spend most excursions at home as we nearly lost the house, and I had to miss days of school to stay home and look after my mum, who was suffering from depression and needed support. This was when the household chores all fell on to me and my twin.

When I was 13 my mum tested me against my consent for aspergers syndrome (now called ASD). It came back positive. She told me when I didn't want to know. This caused a chaotic and unstable household. I was suffering ptsd that I didn't understand. My parents made me feel crazy. I was running away and coming back, missing school, not sleeping. Asking for affection but only getting attention if I was a problem. There was so much screaming and fighting and I was all alone, no friends, no family helping me through, even my twin was against me.

When I was 15 I told my best friend of 10 years that I have ASD. She never spoke to me since.

When I was 16 I was groomed by a man online, leading to me seeking out more aggressive and manipulative people online to make me feel good about myself. The shame lasted longer than anything else. Then the pandemic hit. My friend tried to kill herself. She left most people notes... Not me. She doesn't really speak to me now. I don't know what I did wrong.

By 18, I had tried to kill myself more times than I could count, never getting far (I was only 13 when I first attempted).But things started to look up. I had survived school.

Now, at 19, I've been to aa, the mental ward twice in one year for suicide attempts, I have depression, anxiety, ptsd, insomnia, atypical anorexia, suicidal thoughts, I self harm so much I could never wear short sleeves again. And I'm having psychotic episodes. I don't know what it is, I'm scared to be diagnosed, but my therapist has suggested a few things. As someone (if you've looked closely at my blog, you'll know who) once said, it's a living, breathing nightmare.

Maybe I am a coward. Maybe it's just too much and I'm too weak. But it hurts so much or I can't feel at all. I can't keep doing this.

People say they love me, that I'm important or they'd miss me. But I just don't know if I can believe that. People call me pretty but the mirror makes me want to hurt myself. I'm ugly. Unlovable. I'm just a burden and a waste of space. I'm so sorry if I am important to you. I don't want to traumatize anyone or hurt anyone but this just hurts so fucking much I don't know how much longer I can be strong. Maybe I'm just not meant for this.

I need you all to know I love you. You mean so much to me. I'm so fucking sorry if I hurt you. I'm so sorry. If you're struggling, please get help. You deserve happiness, hope, love. I believe in you. It will get better. If you see someone struggling, please look after them, even just a stranger on the train with leaking eyeliner. Just ask if they're OK. You could save their life.

I've got pierce the veil on the 27th. I'll do it after then. I'm not sure if I can hold on that long though. I'm so sorry for any pain I'm causing. I hope you're all OK <333

Love,

Rock

#rock rambles #delete later #maybe i'm better off dead #Tw sui #Suicide note #Su1c1d3 n0t3

[creepybaesment]

A character study and thoughts on Mori

I'm honest when I say I really really hate Mori. But I don't hate his writing. He is a very well written character. We don't know his past (much like Dazai in that sense) most of what we know is that

when he was 26 he was a war doctor.

he took in Dazai when the boy was 13 after a suicide attempt

he killed the then port mafia boss when Dazai was 14

and let Dazai join the mafia at 15. And with that being said that's all we really know about him and his past. He knew Yosano's ability and saw how she could help people but he also saw a young girl he could use. Which one, disgusting and two, was surprisingly smart or a plot standpoint. Without Mori we wouldn't have half of our supporting cast or some of our main cast.

Mori and Fukuzawa, without them we wouldn't have the groundwork for why everyone in the show works. Without Mori the Ada would have never gotten Yosano. Without Mori having Dazai, Chuuya would be with the sheep. Akutagawa would be dead in the slums with his sister. Without Mori we would have never gotten Akutagawa's amazing character. Without Mori we wouldn't have Kyokoa. Without Mori bringing up Dazai Atsushi would have died or been sent to prison.

Mori is responsible for half the plot working and that's what makes his character so good. He lies and hurt people for fucking gain and fun. He chose a suicidal kid to be his witness because he knew that Dazai was perfect for it, being just like Mori himself. And Elsie, she just fascinates me. She is very much an aware person to some extent. We know Elsie used to be more of a doll, but after Yosano she's more snappy and rude like Yosano herself. And after Dazai we see her acting a bit more like Dazai, she's smarter and

she fucking knew how Akutagawa dies. The first time we see her aside the op is drawing Aku bleeding from his neck with x eyes.

Along with what Mori says in the 2nd to last episode of season two, that he only likes girls under the age of twelve (*sounds of reaching and coughing in disgust*), leaves open interpretation of what he's done to the fucking kids his in charge of. Why did Dazai make sure Gin looked male when she came to the mafia? I don't think we want to know the answer. Q is just now 13 and they were sealed away for many reasons by Dazai but also Q is younger than Kyoka.

It's just horrible to think about what could've happened to them.

Not to add Mori clearly isn't a very good doctor for Dazai, not even trying to stop him from harming or killing himself, he also encourages it and helps him.

We know Mori is manipulative and a gaslighter, He let's Oda fucking die and kills Oda's kids knowing very well that Dazai could've handled it fine.

and With that, Mori caused his own best subordinate to leave, Dazai left because of what Mori did. If Mori didn't happen in bsd we wouldn't have a plot

but really manz can go die in a hole he's served his propose let Chuuya be the new boss, he'd be better at it than Mori in my opinion

#bsd thoughts #mori ougai #character study #Mori can die in a hole for all I care #bsd Q #bsd mori #bsd yosano

[drbtinglecannon]

001 with TOH! Or, because that one was predictable, 003 with Lilith 💜

I'm a'ok with predictable haha, I'll do both!

TOH

1. Favorite character:

This is so difficult but I'll have to say it's a tie between Eda & Darius

2. Least favorite character:

Tibbles, other vile chars (Odalia, Kikimora, Terra, Adrian) are at least fun to hate, have good designs, and contribute to good char analyses on why they're like that & the harm their abuses caused. Tibbles is just...a capitalist pig, which is a great pun but he's still boring

3. 5 favorite ships (canon or non-canon):

Raeda, Lumity, Huntlow, Gustholomule, Dariraeda. Or every char x therapy

4. Character I find most attractive:

Darius, Raine, Eda, Camila, & Steve all take turns bearing the title of "most fuckable person in the grocery store". Lilith isn't qualified solely out of respect

5. Character I would marry:

I feel like Camila would be the best choice haha

6. Character I would be best friends with:

I would've loved to have Luz as a friend in HS

7. A random thought:

A headcanon I have is that Eberwolf's a polyphyodont (his teeth continually replace themselves) like a shark. This horrified Darius at first

8. An unpopular opinion:

*sighs* Huntlow is a perfectly cute ship that's still important representation regardless if either char is queer or not, and if it ended up canon it would not ruin the queerness of the show nor would it be "horrible rushed writing". There are clear hints for a romantic angle plus it's been directly paralleled to both Lumity & Caleb/Wittewife, and after everything the show has been through & did for queer rep it's fucking nuts people are this mad over something minor. No one has to like x pairing but it's honestly depressing to see these complaints so often.

Also m/f does not automatically mean "allocishet" nor is it inherently bad, signed a queer person in a straight passing relationship

9. My canon OTP:

Lumity & Raeda are so fucking incredible and both mean so much to me, sometimes I can't believe they're canon

10. My non-canon OTP:

There's a lot of ship questions huh. So here I'll put "Darius Eber Hunter & Flapjack all live together & it's sweet chaos" because I have put a lot of HCs, writing, and energy into thinking about them

11. Most badass character:

Steve convinced a god to not care about godhood during his journey of leaving "faceless minor character status" via quietly quitting a cult. Goals

12. Most epic villain:

Belos is really the only choice, but even further Belos is probably one of the top villains in western animation, guy is unstable yet iconic

13. Pairing I am not a fan of:

Bosh//low & gold//ric were unavoidable for years (2yrs for bw 1yr for eh) it was awful

14. Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another):

I don't wanna say "screwed up" bc despite any gripes I have I love almost every character, but I think Lilith got shafted esp with how prevalent she was at the beginning of S2 before leaving. I know why storylines had to be dropped but I think Lilith suffered a lot more from it than others

15. Favorite friendship:

Gus & Hunter, I had no idea what to expect going into LR and I adore every moment of it & everything that's come since

16. Character I most identify with:

Amity & Eda are both extremely relatable

17. Character I wish I could be:

Eda hands down I wish I was that trash milf criminal

--

Lilith

1. How I feel about this character:

I'm an outlier in that I always loved Lilith, even after S1 first ended and so much of the fandom hated her (for good reason tho). Her friendship with Hooty means so much to me and was so funny to see start

2. Any/all the people I ship romantically with this character:

N/A aroace queen

3. My favorite non-romantic relationship for this character:

The tragedy of her relationship with Eda is just. Ah. It kills. Lifelong damage that she can't ever take back from a moment of weakness caused by the world Belos made, but she was able to lessen the load of it and through that finally starts to really understand & sympathize with her sister and work to rebuild their relationship after decades

4. My unpopular opinion about this character:

I don't think it was bad writing that Luz so easily forgave Lilith at the start of S2, that fits Luz's character so much to think of transgressions against herself so lightly and focus more on the ones against Eda -- but since Eda also easily forgave Lilith bc that also fits her character so much, Luz would follow Eda's lead there. That said I'm gonna write a fic about the hard apology Lilith gave Luz offscreen

5. One thing I wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon:

Apologies to Luz, King, & Eda, the heart-to-heart with Gwen & Dell, the confrontation with Raine about cursing Eda

6. Favorite friendship for this character:

I think so much about how Lilith befriending Hooty is what made everyone else finally start treating Hooty with any respect or kindness

7. My crossover ship:

N/a aroace queen

#asks #answered #thanks for asking! #sorry to get salty there. like no one has to like xyz but gosh it gets annoying & depressing to see #im gonna scream i cant believe s3 starts tomorrow

[jthm-moved]

hey i feel the "cant have an ed correctly" post a lot, i promise you that you don't need to "get worse" to be allowed to seek it because youre already worthy of help :( we both are. you arent alone, there are people who understand you that you can reach out to once you find youre able to/comfortable. you don't have to be sicker, you only have to be yourself - and yourself is a good thing. sorry if this is weird

it’s not weird, i appreciate you

when i said i need to get sicker to become deserving of treatment i meant it. i’ve gone to 5 different doctors and specialists and every single one of them has either actively made my ed worse by instilling even more destructive behaviors in me or hasn’t taken me seriously whatsoever.

i was still overweight (175lbs) when i went to see the first specialist. this was years after i had first experienced disordered eating—it was also a major problem when i was 12-13 because of the decade of SA i had been going through. no one questioned that either simply because i was still at a “healthy” weight.

the woman i saw looked at me, sobbing and begging for help, and did nothing. when i screamed about “barely eating anything,” she said that was the reason why i was fat and hated myself without going into any detail about why that would happen. she told me to ditch my current diet and start completely from scratch with no plan set in place. i was sent home with nothing and was not prompted to go back. so i didn’t.

flash forward to a little less than a year ago. i began intermittent fasting, every single day. i still do it. every single day for no less than 16 hours—i have lost exactly 50lbs this way. i am no longer considered overweight. i’ve gone to more doctors to ask them for help, thinking that at this point there would be something concerning them enough to look into.

nothing, 4 more times. my endocrinologist saw nothing wrong with my condition. she even complimented me on my drastic weight loss the last time we saw each other, triggering me into continuing despite me pouring my heart out to her. i had lost 30lbs in those 3 months between visits by starving myself. every. single. day.

and now that i’m at a “healthy” weight again, they simply see me as a fat person attempting to keep their weight down. i’ve told them about my fasting. i’ve told them about how looking into a reflective surface used to make me extremely nauseous. no. as long as i’m at a “healthy” weight, i’m where i should be and there’s nothing to treat.

i have severe body dysmorphia. i bodycheck several dozen times a day. i have harmed myself over the utter hatred and devastation i feel being forced to live in this body. so much hatred and devastation that i sometimes HEAVILY dissociate just to forget, to be away from the pain of knowing for a little while. i weigh myself every single morning and get upset over changes in it, down to the ounce.

i self dx atypical anorexia. this means i am anorexic, but the only trait i do not have is being severely underweight. such a diagnosis is so fucking rare because doctors are too stupid to realize that anorexia is a mental illness. it shouldn’t fucking matter how much you weigh. once you start feeling that way about yourself you should be entitled to treatment.

being turned down again and again has made me feel like the only way anyone who can help me will ever care about my condition is if i’m on the brink of death. when it’s probably too late for me. i want to be noticed. i want to be told that i can get better, and here’s how we’re going to do it.

the attitude towards eating disorders in a medical sense fucking disgusts me. who knows how many other people have gotten severely ill and/or died because of it.

#asks #ed #tmi #long post #i’m sorry if this sounds rude i just really do not feel good right now

[kimaratomoya]

I meant to only write a paragraph or so on Jene and WHOOPS my hand slipped (and so did my MADD)

Jene is 13 and a few months younger than Áine, they met on tumblr because that's the website I'm best rehearsed with. Jene was raised by strict parents who pushed her to go above and beyond. Her parents came from a bad background and though they loved her a lot, they always wanted her to be the best in everything and come on top of other kids academically and in many other fields.

Jene felt sometimes when her parents went hard on her, that they didn't love who she was and only loved her if it meant she could reach every one of their high expectations and would allow them to parade her as their perfect trophy child. In reality hey loved her as any parent would do, but they deliberately didn't express that because they believed that she wouldn't push herself as hard if they did. This lack of connection between them and her made Jene insecure and instilled the fear that people would stop loving her if she was honest towards them, and was what first led to her compulsive lying problem.

Jene's parents deliberately set their goals too far out of her reach so Jene would need to push herself to achieve them, believing that the extra training would strenghen their child and allow her to withstand any kind of challenge she may encounter in life. Instead, her constant inability to satisfy her parents led to Jene having a defeatist attitude. She eventually grew to pretend to agree to something, only to decide it was too hard for her and that attempting to do it was causing her pain.

Jene's parents were headstrong, so Jene learned not to argue with them and just lie her way out of situations she didn't like.

At the moment, Jene doesn't have a good relationship with her parents. They've caught onto her lying and faking, and don't have a lot of trust in Jene but are also despairing about how well their child would do in the scary, unknown future when she would rather lie and be 'lazy' rather than put in genuine hard work, and they fear that she will be a criminal when she grows up. Jene thinks this assumption is ridiculous and a breach of trust because she's never deliberately tried to harm someone before, but it's not like she can convince them otherwise now... Jene is facing a situation similar to the boy who called wolf, in that when she tries to talk to her parents about her actual disorders and suffering, they can't be sure whether or not she's lying or not again.

Jene's parents would keep her away from social situations to focus instead on academics, 'grown-up things' and world issues, believing that fraternising with other children would slow her down. In doing this, they unintentionally delayed the development of her social skills. Jene has trouble asking for help from the school therapist as a result, and also trouble making friends. Áine is the dearest friend she has due to Áine's easygoingness and need for company, though Jene doesn't want to tell Áine the truth about why she can't talk with her as much as she wants.

One thing that brings the pair into conflict later is the way how [SPOILER]

Jene is a compulsive liar more than a pathological liar, meaning that she does it out of impulse and doesn't plan them all through.

Jene frequently worries other people find her boring and studious, because of her lack of experience in life. Another reason why she wants to hang out with Áine is that she believes that she can learn to have more of a 'personality' and be creative by doing so, and that her 'boringness' would be cancelled out as a result.

Jene's lying is forshadowed when she tries to lie a couple of times to get Áine out of the pizzeria, but due to Áine being such a close friend of hers, she can't bring herself to follow up on her lies much and ends up backpedaling on them without giving away that she was lying.

Áine next!

Looking good bestie! ✨

#fanfic ideas #character explaination #ask response

[sunspira]

I CANT shake like wariness and frustration and confusion about the argument that "it's not other user's responsibility to protect kids. parents need to monitor their kids online activity" like if you see yourself as a good person you do have SOME duty to avoid doing harm and look out for children online who you happen to directly encounter. but more to the point god parents monitoring their kids online is SUUCH a miserable option like that would have made me so upset and sad and uncomfortable. i feel like it was part of my preteen life and coming of age to have a little online independent life in middle school and early high school. we did have the computer in the family living room so like is THAT what people mean by the level of monitoring. like very passively that works well because of the natural accountability to not go on the worlds most fucked up websites when your mom is in the next room but . checking their search history feels like reading their diary very wrong breach of privacy and trust idk about that

(but there's the truth in the spirit of that comment that it's still a public space and you don't have to carry yourself and censor yourself like you're in a school setting just cause kids might be around. i think the freedom to have fun and just do and say whatever like you would around other adult friends is part of the point of being on here and why being online is appealing in the first place. but yea people made good points that in an open forum about a children's show you probably should carry yourself pg-13 knowing some really young ones are all around that just feels natural to me. one time i joined an avatar the last air bender discord and we made a grown up zone for that reason because half the users were new fans and teens and half were og fans and like 25. like we can all hang out in the main zone but there's adult only channels to just be whatever and not have to think about it. maybe because ive mainly worked in schools and in childcare and would substitute teach and sometimes babysit kids in middle and high school but realizing "oh christ youre young enough to be my STUDENT:C like someone i TAKE CARE OF and tell what to do all day" is a bit disturbing and made me actually unfollow some younger users at the time which i still really don't follow teens anymore period it's too strange like with my position in society i don't wanna know you like that.

this doesn't conclude in anything it's more of a stream of consciousness. except that i do try to be a human being online and im not detached from society enough to be like NOTHING MATTERS LOLOL TRIAL BY FIRE KIDS i also hate the argument that parents need to be on top of their kids online activity it is hard for me to imagine that in practice but it's partially because i didn't have internet access when i was in elementary school where that might be appropriate and didn't have a smart phone or laptop until college so i come from a different world than most young adults saying that stuff but ALSO it's kinda fucked that kids who don't have anyone in their life advocating for them or involved with them , usually the same unattended kids who's parents are either really caring but struggling and always working or even in some cases it's kids who have cold or neglectful adults in their life and they're just getting screwed over even more by bad environments online like there's no clear solution here because people can be so puritanical and that's the worst too but it's so easy and dismissive to be like WELL WHERES THE PARENTS THIS WHOLE TIME. dude idk i'm not sure if that's even the point

[bellsarefun]

The Bad Batch Headcanons [How Protective They Are]

【ｒａｔｉｎｇ：pg-13 and sfw!】

【ｗａｒｎｉｎｇｓ：Mostly fluff about the different protective behaviors, but has mentions of Crosshair showcasing possessiveness, mentions of Echo having body image issues, and relationship insecurity.】

【ａ／ｎ：I tried to keep these on the shorter side, but I think that's not possible with me. Sorry for any spelling mistakes!】

Hunter:

On a scale of one to ten, Hunter rests at a solid eight out of ten at all times and especially when it comes to you.

He is already naturally protective over his brothers and Omega, so when it comes to you it's expected. But, the fact that he can sense all of the potential dangers to you means this man dials it up even more.

He knows he and the rest of the Bad Batch attract trouble, you could be put into danger by simply knowing them much less being in an intimate relationship with one of them. In large crowds this man will be by your side all of the time, holding onto your hand tightly for good measure. Whenever you're in a new environment, this man is hovering only a step away. He will glare at any person who tries to approach you that he doesn't like the look of. He is the type to shield you from blaster fire with his own body and so much so, you needed to have a talk with him afterward.

When you mention it to him, Hunter explains that he doesn't want you ever feel scared and that he just wants to keep you safe—he feels like it's his job to keep the person he loves most kept out of harms way. If he doesn't, he feels like he's failed as your partner. But, after a few gentle kisses, you reassure him that nothing will ever happen to you and that if he is really worried about keeping you safe, he can teach you how to defend yourself better.

Crosshair:

The highest out of his brothers, Crosshair rests at a nine which isn't surprising to anyone.

He is has jealous tendencies by nature already, so when it comes to the thought of someone trying to take you away from him—he's not letting you go out without him on a good day.

Especially after his injury on Bracca, there is a deep honest insecurity that you'll leave him behind just like his brothers did. He doesn't exactly express this in a healthy way as he never talks about his feelings or what he's experienced. So, in order to compensate, to say he is possessive doesn't even scratch the surface. More often than not, he won't let you ever come on missions and if you do, you are ordered to stay by his side.

If any individual dare to flirt or much less talk with you while Crosshair's around, this man has no shame. He will glare daggers at the person attempting to talk to you, saunter over, ask to speak with you, and bring you somewhere secluded—once you're out of sight, his lips and hands will be all over you. He doesn't like when someone threatens what he considers to be rightfully his and only his. He recognizes his own behavior and it drives him crazy that you make him feel that way, but he considers you addicting.

Wrecker:

The lowest out of all his brothers, Wrecker stands at a small two on the protectiveness scale.

This may seem low for him, but there's a very good reason why he's not as protective as his brothers—who would even try to mess with you with Wrecker standing beside you?

Nearly eighty percent of the time, Wrecker is usually stuck to your side or is pulling you around by your hand. You don't really have to worry about any creeps or anyone looking at you for that matter, especially when Wrecker leans down to receive a kiss from you on his cheek or pulls you into his lap. In his mind, he knows he can protect you and knows his own natural strength so he doesn't really worry. He towers over nearly everyone you encounter since he stands at six feet six inches.

The other twenty percent, by the chance that he isn't with you it usually means he's currently in the process of looking for you. So, if someone does try and talk to you, he usually finds you before long. In all honesty, he's not the best at social cues and doesn't even notice if the person is trying to flirt with you. He simply comes over with a big goofy smile, wraps you up in a big hug, and gives you a messy kiss. At that point, if the person isn't scared that they just tried it with you then that person doesn't know fear.

Tech:

Not a surprise, Tech rests at a three or a four depending on the day and that's not because he doesn't care.

In most situations, he assumes you can take care of yourself without interference from him. But, if you truly need him for any reason, he's got your back within seconds.

It all comes down to communication between the two of you, if you express that you can handle most situations then he respects that and will let you do your thing. But, if you tell him that some social situations make you uncomfortable or that he needs to step in sometimes, he will. He's very secure in your relationship and often doesn't express jealously in the slightest, he trusts you and to him that's what matters. There was one time where he did get a little flustered when you apparently paid more attention to Hunter than him, but that was quickly resolved with a cheeky kiss from you.

If someone comes up to you and you do need him, you've come up with a way to let him know you're uncomfortable. It's a small little device disguised as a bracelet that is directly connected to the computer on his bracer. It will send him a small alert and he'll come to help. Tech is rather tall, standing at six feet four inches, and even if he was smaller that wouldn't stop him from speaking his mind. But, if the problem grows bigger, then he'll call the rest of his brothers.

Echo:

Echo is sort of a middle ground, he sits at a solid six which isn't entirely shocking or unbelievable.

He's just enough confrontational that if he notices your visible discomfort he will step in but holds himself back from any overbearing possessive behavior, unlike Crosshair.

Deep down, however, he does want to feel secure in the fact that you're all his and no one else's. There is genuine insecurity that you'll move on from him to someone who can give you more than he can or, in his own words, more appealing that he is. He will often express his feelings of insecurity and after an exchange of kind, reassuring words he'll feel a lot better. With gentle reassurance when he needs it and helping his confidence, this fear lessen more and more over time. When he does, there's a night and day difference.

Instead of only stepping in when he needs to, when someone comes up to you he has no issue with coming over. Swiftly, Echo will loop an arm around your waist and pull you flush against his side. There will be a genuine smile on his face when he asks you who the person in front of you both is. With the security in knowing you're his, he likes it when others know they can't have you like he can.

#bad batch #the bad batch #the bad batch x reader #star wars #star wars headcanons #tbb #tbb hunter #tbb wrecker #tbb tech #tbb echo #tbb crosshair #clone force 99 #the clone wars #the clone wars series #headcanon #headcanons #hunter #hunter x reader #echo #echo x reader #tech x reader #tech #wrecker #wrecker x reader #crosshair x reader #crosshair

[angellesword]

MAGIC SHOP | JJK (14)

Description: You and Jungkook were best friends who were in love with each other. What would happen when Soojin, your half sister who you’re trying to impress, told you she’s in love with Jungkook too?

Alternatively:

“Would you believe me if I said that I was scared of everything too?”

Pairing: Architect!Jungkook x Architect!Reader

Genre: childhood best friends to lovers, family drama, angst, fluff, idiots to lovers, pining, slice of life au.

Warnings: mention of abuse and drug addiction.

Chapter’s OST: Clean by Taylor Swift

Word Count: 4.5k

Series: CHAPTER 13 | FINAL CHAPTER (15)

Hectic was the best way to describe how the past few weeks of Hoseok's life had been going. Not only did he have to deal with the tragic death of his father, but he also needed to convince you to help him make the Kims pay for their dues.

Fortunately, he was able to do this. He felt like there's a big progress in your relationship as well. His heart swelled with appreciation when you told him that you liked staying in his apartment. It's nice to feel like you were being taken care of. Hoseok was the only family member of yours (aside from Taehyung) who didn't make you feel like you were an outsider.

However, it looked like things were back to square one again. After the Board of Directors' Meeting, you became aloof. You still stayed in his home, yet he couldn't feel your presence.

You were like a ghost. You only left your room when you were sure he wasn't around.

Hoseok was rarely home these days because he was busy running a company. As expected, your brother got the position. He wasn't just the biggest shareholder of Castle Architectural Firm, he was also its newest chairperson.

Hoseok was responsible, obviously better than his father. Taemin practiced nepotism back when he was still alive, but your brother assured you and everyone in the company that he would never repeat the same mistake of his father. After all, nepotism was the sole reason why the accident in Myeong-deong happened.

Just because Soojin was his daughter, Taemin allowed her to lead a project which she clearly couldn't handle.

You thought all the Kims were the same, but you figured Namjoon wasn't like the rest of them. For the longest time, you believed that he would do anything to save his family, even if they're in the wrong. But your view of him changed the day he revealed to everyone that he knew about Hoseok being another one of Taemin's children.

Or were you wrong? Truthfully, you weren't sure. The only logical explanation you could think of as to why he would take the sibling DNA test with your eldest brother was because he wanted to help Hoseok too.

"Hey, I just got home." Your musing was abruptly cut-off when Hoseok tapped your shoulders. "My mom and I are heading out to lunch. Wanna join us?"

You cowered, too startled to see him standing inches away from you. Damn. Were you that lost in your thought to the point where you didn't hear him come in?

You were in the kitchen, preparing your own lunch before Hoseok arrived. You were planning on bringing your food inside your room because you didn't want to be around your brother.

"Next time. I already prepared my food. Thanks though." You moved away from him as you opened the microwave, taking out a slice of pizza.

Hoseok snorted. He didn't appreciate the way you're acting right now. He was tired even though he only worked half day today. All he wanted to do was to spend time with his family. His mother agreed to meet up with him because it's been a while since they last saw each other. Jiwoo was busy traveling the world. She made time for Hoseok today though. She also said she wanted to finally see you. Apparently, Hoseok always talked about you even when you still didn't know you two were siblings.

"Uh?" Your brows pinched when your brother snatched the plate of pizza away from you. "What do you think you're doing?"

You gasped and groaned as he shamelessly threw the pizza in the trash bin. You were ready to scold him, but Hoseok was already explaining his point before you could even open your mouth.

"You've been eating pizza for days now. Do you want to get sick?" His jaw clenched as he looked at you in disbelief, expressing his concern. "You can't act like this forever, sister. It's unhealthy. And for God's sake, if you have a problem with me just say it."

You scoffed at his audacity to say these things. Hoseok was acting like he didn't know why you're ignoring him.

It's impossible.

"Really?" You shook your head because of disappointment.

You never liked conflict. Fighting with the people you loved was the last thing you wanted, but Hoseok hurt your feelings.

"You lied to me." You inhaled sharply. You couldn't cry, definitely not when your brother was still acting like he was oblivious.

"I don't know what you're talking about." He even voiced out his confusion. Hoseok crossed his arms too, brows furrowed while looking at you as if you're cruel for accusing him of being untruthful.

"Please don't do this." You whined, causing him to cackle. Don't do what? You were the one being petty the past few days. Why were you acting like the problem was with him? And what's with the puppy eyes? Did you really hate misunderstanding that much?

"I haven't done anything, sister."

"Yeah you haven't—" You quickly agreed with a wince. And then you added: "—haven't told me that Namjoon-oppa knows you're our brother too."

You expected him to flinch, to look at you with soft eyes, or to say sorry for keeping it a secret, but Hoseok did none of these.

Admittedly, he barely reacted as he asked "that's it?"

You scoffed.

"Seriously?" You couldn't help it. You gawked at him too. "We're supposed to be a team here, oppa. How could you not say something about it? And...and not only that!"

You were panting because of how fast you were speaking. It's like you had suddenly exploded.

His casual reaction was what triggered you.

"You also didn't tell me that Jungkook sold his shares to you." It's not like you minded that he was now the biggest shareholder of the firm. You just couldn't accept the fact that you didn't know anything about this. Did he respect you at all?

"Yeah I didn't." He admitted so casually. Hoseok actually looked like the conversation was boring him. You didn't expect the confrontation to be like this.

Now you just felt silly.

And annoyed.

You were annoyed that he's acting like this was not a big deal.

It was.

It should be.

"You're unbelievable." You shook your head and walked out.

Hoseok caught your wrist though. He prevented you from leaving by tightening his grip on your skin.

The stare he was giving you was cold.

"I'm unbelievable?" Hoseok chuckled, low and expressionless.

You shivered, thinking that this wasn't right. You were the one who was supposed to be mad, not the other way around.

However Hoseok was determined to make you feel like this was all your fault—at least this was what you felt as he explained to you his reason.

"I'm unbelievable because I asked for help?" He threw his head back as he chuckled in a sarcastic way. "Tell me...Would you still push through with our plan if I told you Namjoon wants to help us?"

Namjoon found out about Hoseok on the day of the accident. Seokjin was tasked to look after Sin-ae and Soojin. Namjoon, on the other hand, tried to clean up the mess. He also found out that same day that Soojin was responsible for the accident.

Namjoon knew he couldn't let this go. Protecting Soojin and tolerating her wrongdoing were two different things. He was aware that correcting a mistake through another mistake would cause more harm than good.

Namjoon was clever. He knew he couldn't get rid of all evidence so he couldn't protect Soojin by sweeping the mess under the mat. It was proven to be true when he found out that Architect Jung had the original copy of the building's blueprint and other documents that were detrimental to Soojin's case.

Apparently Taemin gave Hoseok access to a safety deposit box containing important stuff related to the company. Hoseok was the only one who knew the passcode aside from his father.

Namjoon knew right there and then that the only option he had was to help Soojin surrender to the authorities. He also wouldn't want his sister to run a company when it's obvious she's not competent enough to do it.

He didn't tell Seokjin about this though. What's there to say? Namjoon didn't really ask Hoseok about his plan. He felt like he would feel less guilty if he knew less. Namjoon's only wish was fair treatment even though he knew Soojin fucked up so bad.

Hoseok agreed. He hated what Soojin had done but at the end of the day, he was still his sister. What he wanted was to simply hold Soojin accountable. It's up to the authorities to decide what to do with her. He was just a tool that would make sure she'd get what she deserved.

The litigation was still ongoing, but they had to detain Soojin. It's because all evidence pointed at her. Your sister had multiple civil and criminal cases, one being gross negligence resulting to injury and death.

"Would you allow Jungkook to sell his shares to me?" Hoseok added, his jaw setting irately.

The look you gave him was incredulous.

"Why wouldn't I allow that?"

Hoseok was offending you. There's no reason for you to stop Jungkook from doing that because if you were being honest, the act actually helped.

"You tell me." Hoseok challenged. He let go of your wrist so he could fold his arms over his chest. "You're stubborn. You hate asking people for help. I've seen you all these years, you know? I've seen you turn your back on the people who love you. Honestly I don't know what's with you and Jungkook but it doesn't take a genius to see how much you hate the idea of him offering his hand for you to grab."

There's a pregnant pause in the air. You felt attacked. Hoseok wasn't the only person who said this to you. Taehyung did too, and you hated how harsh and right they sounded.

Was this seriously your fault?

"You like to give and give and give." Hoseok wasn't done torturing you. "But you never take and then you wonder why you're miserable all the time."

He let out a deep breath.

"You know very well now why I didn't tell you the truth. This time I want you to answer my question honestly..."

He paused just to swallow thickly.

"Why do you always refuse the love Jungkook gives you? The love we give you?" Hoseok bit his lip to stop the other question from escaping his lips.

You understood it though. You knew what he wanted to ask even though he didn't voice it out: why do you accept such abuse? From Taemin? From Soojin? From your mother?

Because it's the only kind of love I know. This was the answer to his unspoken question.

"Because it's not the kind of love I know." And this was how you responded to the question he had managed to voice out.

It took you many years, decades even, to finally admit that.

You had been keeping this reason to yourself for many years because you were certain no one would understand. People longed for unconditional love and affection, meanwhile you couldn't associate these feelings to how you viewed 'love.'

What you thought love meant was pain and suffering. It's very different from the love Jungkook made you feel.

He gave you hope, sincerity, patience, and most importantly: kindness.

Jungkook was so kind that it scared you. Because what if you got used to this feeling and then suddenly it vanished?

Would you be able to handle it? Would you be able to find something like this again?

"You won't understand it, Hoseok-oppa. You won't understand that I don't want people to save me or to give me everything. I don't want anyone to fix me." You had been saying this for a while now. If you remembered it correctly, you even told this to Jungkook. You hated when he tried to get involved in your business. Love wasn't supposed to be like that for you. It's not your love language. You didn't want that heroic kind of love, the one where your partner would drop everything just to be with you.

Us against the world? It's a fairytale.

You didn't like fairy tales.

But Hoseok snickered at this.

"Why? Are you telling me you're so used to pain that you can't stomach the idea of people loving you right?"

You didn't answer.

You were pensive: was there really a standard way of loving someone right? Some people wanted this. Some people wanted that. You didn't even think you fully understood the meaning of love.

Sometimes it made you cackle when they said they loved people without any reason. But then you also furrowed your brow and let out a puff of air when people said they fell in love with the sound of someone's smile, or the way their eyes lit up.

"I know I don't have the right to interfere. It's your life but I care for you and I want you to find happiness. You don't have to be scared anymore, you know? It's over."

He was saying that the pain was over. Soojin and her family couldn't hurt you any longer. Your father had been absolved from the criminal responsibility too.

Justice was being served.

You could rest now. You could finally think about yourself without feeling guilty all the time.

None of these was your fault. You have done your best to help.

Hoseok pulled you into an embrace. You didn't squirm against him.

"Promise me you'll talk to him, okay?"

The right thing to do was to agree, so you did by nodding your head and hugging him back.

Hoseok ended up convincing you to join him and his mother for lunch. Surprisingly, it went well. Jiwoo was sweet and soft. She's nothing like Sin-ae.

"You wanna join us for some ice cream, love?" Jiwoo asked you after lunch. She said she knew this certain ice cream parlor that sold the best mint chocolate ice cream. It's their family's go-to dessert shop ever since Hoseok was a little boy.

"Oh, I'd love to but I actually have somewhere else to be." You smiled apologetically.

Jiwoo said it's a shame but that she understood. Your brother wasn't buying your excuse though. He felt like you'd just go home and lock yourself in your room. You tended to do that after a really good day. It's a defense of yours. You were protecting your heart because every time something good happened to you, bad news would follow right after.

"Where?" Hoseok lifted an eyebrow.

"Uh..." You paused, contemplating whether to tell him the truth or not. In the end, you chose to give him a vague answer. Not a lie, but not the truth either.

"I'm just going to meet someone."

Your brother's face lit up, thinking that you were referring to Jungkook. You knew this, but didn't bother to correct him despite having zero intentions of meeting up with your best friend.

"Take care, sweetheart. Don't mind your brother, he’s just being protective. But be safe, okay?" Hoseok's mom engulfed you into a hug.

It warmed your heart. This was your first time seeing her and yet you already felt comfortable. You wished she's your mom, which to be honest, was a terrible thing to say, especially when you're on your way to visit your real mother.

It was an impulsive decision. Years ago, you swore to yourself that you would never contact your mother even if you missed her terribly. This was what your therapist recommended too, saying that you couldn't keep seeing those people who hurt you.

It's easier said than done. Having lunch with Hoseok and his mother caused a pang in your chest. The longing you felt was so intense you're convinced you'd end up having a heart attack if you didn't see your mother.

See.

You promised yourself you'd just ‘see’ her. Just a glimpse was enough. You even wore the hoodie of your jacket. You didn't want her to recognize you. You'd just observe from afar.

You doubted she remembered you. It's been what? More than a decade? Since the last time you saw her? You grew up. You were no longer the teenager who cried and begged the grownups to let you be with your mother.

The tears had dried and the shaking had stopped.

Or so you thought.

It was a shiver at first, and then your body trembled when you saw her nodding her head as she listened to the stranger speaking.

Yunhae. This was the name of the stranger. She was an addict trying to get better. Your mother and the rest of the group listened to Yunhae's story, some of them looked at her with sympathy, some of them remained impassive—like they had heard this same story a thousand times before and watched it all go down the drain.

In the end, they'd relapse. Just one taste, one sniff, one feel...and then they'd fall down the rabbit hole.

Your mother's eyes made you release a breath though. She wasn't staring at Yunhae like she'd disappoint her.

Hope. This was what you could see in your mother's eyes, however you realized that she wasn't really looking at Yunhae.

She was looking at you.

You panicked as you instantly turned away from her. She wasn't supposed to see you. She wasn't supposed to remember your face.

You were a fool for thinking this way. No mother could ever forget their child's face.

She was certain it was you even though you didn't turn around when she called your name.

You walked faster, desperate to leave the room. Sadly your mother didn't have a plan to let you go.

She ran after you, grabbing your wrist which forced you to look at her.

She called your name again. This time, uncertain. She examined your face, as if she'd get a perfect mark by staring at your eyes. The same eyes that used to look at her with so much love.

Your eyes were still soft, but she couldn't feel the sparks.

"It's me..." You finally admitted the truth when she caressed your face with quivering hands. Tears filled her eyes.

It's you.

"You're here..." And you're really here.

Was she dreaming?

"Yeah, but I need—"

"Can we talk?" She cut you off, afraid to hear you say you couldn't stand to see her face anymore. She thought you hated her and frankly, she couldn't blame you.

Hate was a strong word, but if you felt this way, she was sure it's warranted.

"Please." She begged and just like before, you gave in.

You were still weak when it came to her.

"Thank you. C-Can you wait for a second? I...I just need to—"

"Go ahead." You interjected because it's obvious she's panicking. You realized she wasn't sure how to tell you what she had to do first.

"I'll be right back." She promised before going back to her circle. Yunhae was still talking. Your mother felt bad for leaving them and asking Yoon-sung, one of the members of the group, to take the lead, but they could manage without her.

This was probably the only chance she had with you. She couldn't mess this up.

"Let's go?" Your mother smiled at you. You didn't show any sign of displeasure so she started walking as you followed her out.

Your mother brought you to the garden of the church building. You still found it hard to believe that your mother spent most of her time inside the church, but oh well. It's not like she had a choice. CA meetings were usually held in this kind of place.

From what you had heard, your mother was actually leading the CA meeting. She went from being a junkie to a respected leader.

She had come a long way.

You could see she's proud of it too.

"I'm sorry to keep you waiting. I can't leave them without a substitute." She smiled apologetically at you.

You folded your arms over your chest.

"I know. That's why you entrusted the group to your boyfriend, right?" You refused to look at your mother. It wasn't because you didn't approve of her choice in men, but you couldn't help but be wary.

"You know about Yoon-sung?" She was flustered.

Your lips curled up. Who wouldn't have thought that you would see your mother like this? Back when you were a child, you thought she wasn't capable of feeling other emotions aside from anger and frustration.

"No, but it doesn't take a genius to know. He kissed your cheek and looked at you like—" You abruptly stopped upon realizing what you're about to spill:

He looked at you like the way Jungkook looked at me.

Your mother noticed the way you froze, but she knew better than to ask. You weren't comfortable around each other yet. She had no business teasing you or prying information out of you.

"I see. I thought Jungkook told you about Sung and I..."

You whipped your head back at her. What did she say? Did she just mention your best friend's name?

Your mother confirmed it.

"Jungkook knows about my relationship with Sung. He used to t—" But she stopped speaking when she saw confusion painting your face.

Realization hit her.

"You didn't know."

Damn right you didn't. Jungkook never told you he went to visit your mother.

"Since when?" Your jaw ticked. You weren't mad, just...baffled. Why didn't he tell you?

"S-Since you were sixteen." She gulped while you sucked in a deep breath. "He visited me while I was still in rehab...and then in prison...and then...here."

Your mother had been through a lot. Your best friend somewhat helped her through it all. But if Jungkook was being honest, he'd say that the only reason he visited your mom was because of you.

He knew how important your mother was to you. He simply wanted to make sure she was doing okay so as not to worry you. Jungkook also asked her how to help you. He was certain that some things were difficult for you.

You barely ate and slept the first few months you had been separated with your mother. Jungkook wanted to learn how to soothe you. He was aware that despite all the pain your mom had brought you, she was still the only one who knew you well.

She knew the right way to brush your hair when you're trying to go back to sleep after waking up from a nightmare, she knew the words to say to manipulate you into doing what she liked. Jungkook wanted to learn this, but not to manipulate you but to make you feel at ease.

It hurt seeing you cry. It hurt seeing you suffering. He wished he could take away your pain.

"He told me all about you. I know I don't deserve it but it's the only thing that kept me sane. Thinking that at least you're...living your life out there."

There was a lump in your throat. Had you really been living? What were the things Jungkook told her? You wouldn't know if he lied to make your mother feel better because when you were with Jungkook, you were the happiest. Maybe he saw it too. He saw how your world brightened because of his presence.

"He's a good kid. Jungkook..." Your mother wiped her tears you didn't even realize were falling. "He did the things I was supposed to do. He made you happy, he loved you, and he took care of you..."

You could see gratefulness dancing in her face. This was the first time you had seen your mother look this way. She looked happy and content. She glowed.

"I owe him one."

This information pained you. Jungkook helped you and you appreciated and hated that. How could he think about you when he was hurting too? His father died shortly after you were separated from your mom.

He offered you support and you didn’t even bother to ask him if he was okay.

Why was he like that? Why did he love you so much?

This very moment made you realize that just like your mother, you owed something to Jungkook as well.

"Yeah. Me too..." And so you found yourself saying it too. It's the truth. Jungkook had helped you in ways you couldn't even imagine.

You didn't know it but the only reason Jungkook sold his shares to Hoseok was because he didn't want to compete with you. Admittedly, he even sold the shares below the fair market value. He sold it at cost, but not because he was dumb.

He just told your brother this: "I didn't lose, sunbaenim. I won. That's just money, but what you're gonna give her is your support. Promise me you'll take care of her, that you will not betray her."

You said you didn't want him to help you so he did it indirectly. Hoseok helped him help you.

"Will I see you again?" Your mother asked after a few moments of silence. You two talked about small things for the past thirty minutes.

You already considered this a long time, especially because you still didn't trust her. You didn't have any more stories to share. You ran out of topics for small talk.

You told her your father died though, but apparently, she already knew. It's all over the news anyway.

"Uh, I'm not sure..." You winced.

You had been working home for the past weeks. You knew your boss only allowed this because you were still grieving, but it's time to go back to reality again.

"I'm thinking about flying back to New York next week." You didn't know why it hurt to say this. A part of you was begging you to stay.

"You're thinking about it..." She repeated thoughtfully, as if processing your words.

You could only nod.

"That means you're still undecided."

Were you?

Yes, you were. Because if you had made up your mind already, then why were you still here? You were finished with your job here. There's no reason for you to still stay.

Right?

"Listen, I know I'm pushing my luck here, but do you...want my advice?"

It's strange...to hear this coming from here. People who knew the real relationship you had with your mother would probably laugh if they hear her saying this.

Since when did she care about you? Since when did she care about the decision you're struggling to make?

Could it be that she really changed? Was the past decade really enough to change a person?

You guessed so—this was what you thought as you remained frozen, waiting for her to say something that might change your mind.

She did.

She said something that made your heart painfully twist in your chest, a harsh reminder of why you were alive and why you got hurt in the first place.

She did something she wasn't supposed to do, and now she wished you wouldn't make the same mistake too.

You had the advantage.

Your mother smiled—warm and gentle—as she said: "Don't throw away the love you can freely have. Some of us aren't given that choice."

#jungkook #bts jungkook #jungkook x reader #jungkook x you #jungkook x y/n #jungkook x oc #best friend jungkook #jungkook best friend #jungkook best friends to lovers #jungkook fic #jungkook fluff #jungkook angst #jungkook romance #armywriterssupport

[countessren]

STAR WARS DIALOGUE PROMPTS

1. “You can’t always do everything on your own”

2. “That’s not how the force works”

3. “Everything I have built, and you would dare to betray me?”

4. “Don’t look at me like that”

5. “How very romantic of you” “I try my best, sweetheart”

6. “Are you capable of saying more than one word?”

7. “Let’s make a deal” “No thank you, I prefer living”

8. “Don’t do this”

9. “You’re more than a man behind a mask you know”

10. “Could you give me a hand?” “I could, but will I?”

11. “You don’t know me”

12. “I love you” “I know”

13. “Give me one good reason why I should trust you”

14. “I would do anything for you, you know that right?”

15. “Can you stay, please?” “Of course”

16. “You can’t be serious right? You expect me to do the impossible”

17. “I need more than one drink to put up with your crap”

18. “We are stranded here together, so we may as well work together to get off this rock alive”

19. “I’m too tired to deal with all your negativity”

20. “Who did this to you?”

21. “What do you mean that ‘you broke the ship’?”

22. “In this profession, you get used to people leaving you”

23. “Why are you so insistent on me wearing this?”

24. “You need to sleep”

25. “Don’t. Move.”

26. “Don’t you die on me”

27. “I’m sorry...I’m so, so sorry”

28. “I know you hate me, but this is taking it too far”

29. “I don’t care what you think of me, I only care about what others would think of us”

30. “I want you to promise me that you will come back to me alive” “You know me, I’ll try”

31. “Stay close to me”

32. “If we get caught, just know that I will blame you”

33. “You are mine and mine only, understand?”

34. “Move” “Make me”

35. “You will regret ever hurting her, that I promise you”

36. “You never cared about me before, so why start caring now?” “...because I love you”

37. “Give me a chance to make it up to you” “I did, and you blew it”

38. “Why should I trust you” “Because I just saved your life, and showing some respect would be nice”

39. “You’re injured” “I’m fine”

40. “Tell me something, why is it that you always come to me to fix your problems?”

41. “H-Help me...please”

42. “I can’t...you’re asking too much of me”

43. “If there is one thing I have learned, it’s that you don’t underestimate me”

44. “If you move that blaster an inch closer to my face you are going to lose that hand”

45. “If you don’t let her go right now, I swear I will break every bone in your body”

46. “My life would be so much harder without you”

47. “You almost died, you...you stopped breathing”

48. “If we are going to work together, can you at least have more than a one-word conversation with me?” “No”

49. “I can’t let you do this alone”

50. “Thank you for opening up to me, I’m proud of you”

51. “Tell me what to do” “Don’t leave me”

52. “I’ve definitely seen more stranger things than this”

53. “Don’t move too much, you’ll hurt yourself”

54. “I can’t believe you”

55. “Tell me something I don’t know” “Your eye twitches when you get annoyed” “Only because it’s you that annoys me”

56. “Just...don't do anything stupid” “I’ll try but I can’t guarantee anything”

57. “Let. Her. Go”

58. “Don’t tell me what to do” “Well someone has to otherwise you’ll likely get yourself killed”

59. “Would you like me to be honest or would you like me to sugarcoat it for you?” “Sugarcoat it” “Okay then, well...I can’t do this, we’re screwed”

60. “Is that my shirt?” “You can’t prove anything”

61. “I think he likes you”

62. “I’m the best damn pilot in the galaxy” “I think you missed putting the word ‘second’ in there somewhere”

63. “Where are you taking me?” “You need to relax more. You need to see the world around you, and find some sort of peace within yourself...even if it is just for a little while”

64. “Tell me why I should stay” “Because I need you...I...I’m not good with this sort of stuff”

65. “Under no circumstances are you to leave this ship. You’ll hurt yourself even more”

66. “I’ve collected many bounties, but you are by far the strangest” “I’ll pretend not to be offended by that”

67. “I’m sorry I couldn’t get to you sooner” “I’m alive, aren’t I? You had perfect timing”

68. “Don’t leave me alone, please. Not after...”

69. “Sleep, you’ve done enough for today”

70. “It’s pretty cozy in here” “We are in a holding cell” “I was trying to lighten up the mood, you just had to ruin it didn’t you”

71. “People assume that I’m not easily approachable. They are right, but still, they assume”

72. “These children adore you” “All you have to do is listen, and be attentive instead of using brute force half of the time” “Brute force is all I know” “That’s not what I see when you are with the kid”

73. “If I have to listen to one more damn excuse, I’m walking out of this room”

74. “The force works in mysterious ways”

75. “I can...I can um...give you hand...if you would like”

76. “What do I have to do in order for you to see that everything that I have done, I have done for you”

77. “That doesn’t go there” “Then where does it go?” “Not there! Put it back where you found it” “I found it right here!”

78. “I could be lying in a nice, warm and cozy bed right now. But no. Instead, I am stuck shivering in the freezing cold snow with you”

79. “Black doesn’t suit you” “It’s my uniform” “I meant what I said”

80. “One day. One day I’ll see who is behind that helmet” “In your dreams” “Maybe”

81. “If you lay one more hand on her, I swear I will tear you apart”

82. “It’s only a few bruises” “A few bruises too many”

83. “I’ll be fine. You need to focus on the mission at hand”

84. “I would rather die than tell you anything” “Well, don’t make my job any easier”

85. “I can’t lose you” “You won’t...you never will”

86. “All I want you to do is listen to me...I just...you always manage to get hurt and I...just please”

87. “I need you to know that you mean everything to me”

88. “You’re freezing” “I’m fine”

89. “How is it that you always manage to get me to defend your impulsive actions?”

90. “Pretend that there is no one else here but us”

91. “A lightsabre is one of the most dangerous weapons in the galaxy, you shouldn’t wield it around like its a toy”

92. “Put that down!”

93. “I’ve never felt like this before” “Like what?” “Like I’m going to be suffocated by your arms around my chest”

94. “You’re lying to me” “About what?” “About the compressor. It’s not broken, you just want me to ‘fix it’ so you can spend time with me”

95. “Don’t drag me into this, you dug this hole yourself”

96. “When this is over, I’m going to marry you” “I would certainly hope so, you dragged me into this in the first place”

97. “I love you more than words can say”

98. “Promise me one thing: that you will stay by my side no matter what is thrown our way. I promise, I will protect you from every threat, every danger, and from everyone that wishes to harm you”

99. “Don’t drop that, if you do you might blow up the planet”

100. “I’m not leaving you here...not this time. I love you”

Characters I write for: Cal Kestis, Han Solo, Kylo Ren, Artimage Hux, Poe Dameron, Cassian Andor, Anakin Skywalker, The Mandalorian, Luke Skywalker, Finn, Obi-Wan Kenobi.

DM or comment the number of the prompt/s and the character you want then with and I will have the prompt up as soon as I can.

#star wars #star wars x reader #anakin skywalker #the mandalorian #cal kestis #han solo #kylo ren #artimage hux #poe dameron #cassian andor #luke skywalker #finn #obi-wan kenobi

[cupcakesmoothie]

I'm up to Season 2 and I don't like Skylar White (From Breaking Bad).

I know a lot of people here like her more than Walt (Which is honestly reasonable, I really do not like how he treats Jesse).

And yeah, I get where she's coming from. (Currently) She's a pregnant woman whose husband (With lung cancer, mind you) disappears randomly without any idea where he's going. She has a right to be mad.

I don't like the way she reacts to things. All loud and self-important and close-minded. (I just really hated that scene with the talking pillow when she gets mad at Marie for giving her honest opinion about how it's Walt's choice)

But I think the main reason why I don't like her is because she kinda reminds of my mom, which is never a good thing.

Now, my mom is a great person, and she's supportive of what I want to do, and she raised me without any help from my dad.

And boy did she tell me about how hard it was/is.

Raising a kid as a single parent is hard, I know that. But she was just so confusing sometimes.

She'd tell me about how my dad never did anything for the family, had overly ambitious ideas for business that ultimately caused him to go into more debt, how everyone from his side of the family saw her as a useless woman who wasn't doing anything to help the family when it was CLEARLY the opposite.

But she also praised him and told me about how good he was at fixing things, and how much he loved me.

She built my dad a pedestal while simultaneously knocking it down. She told me how bad of a father he was but didn't allow me to hate him for that.

And that is simply not what I needed as a 13 year old.

And I HATED how she'd tell me about his side of the family too, when I had to go there every single day after school and see all these people that didn't appreciate my mom but also fed me and took care of me almost every day.

She'd tell me about my grandma, my aunts, my adult cousins, the expressions they made when she had to ask them to drive us home, the way they didn't appreciate any of the gifts she got them, how they talked about her when they thought she wasn't listening.

But when I went upstairs to hang out with my cousin, away from all the adults to hang out with the only kids in my age group, the only friends I really had, turns out that was bad too.

Because they were boys, and maybe they'd do something to me (The oldest one is my age, older than me by 6 months, and the youngest one is 3 years younger. Honestly what the fuck were they going to do and was I supposed to apply that to everyone else?). Because the way we'd hang out was playing video games, when we were supposed to be studying (Which is a more valid concern, sure, but honestly what did she expect when all 3 kids didn't do well in school in the first place and honestly didn't care about it either)

Of course, it's not like that anymore. She and my dad are (finally) getting a divorce. She's actually willing to listen to what I have to say, and she understands how much harm she caused and how much she affects me (What with being the only parent AND person present most of the time). She understands that I don't like listening to her problems, because her problems aren't something I can solve (Work related) and also affect me (Family related). She (probably) knows how much she ruined all of my relationships with everyone on my dad's side (Including my dad). She realises that my grandma's house simply wasn't a good environment to study (Or learn), and she shouldn't have expected me to do so, in a house where the TV was always on, there was virtually no one to ask for help with homework, and even though there was a piano RIGHT THERE waiting to played, and my aunt even encouraged it, knowing it was a good skill and you could get a career out of it, there was rarely ever a chance to do it because there was an old man who needed his rest, and even after (and before) he died there was someone watching the TV who didn't appreciate being disturbed and the only time it wasn't on was 10pm at night and playing the piano would disturb the neighbours.

This got very long and turned into a rant. I'm sorry.

But basically, I don't like Skylar because she reminds me of when I didn't like my mom.

My mom is better now, so maybe Skylar will get better too.

#TLDR: I don't like Skylar because she reminds me of when my mom kinda sucked #rant #breaking bad #Skylar White #sweetmountainseeds