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rayneing-on-your-parade · 2 years

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Stupid The Magnus Archives headcanon #7

This one has major spoilers

OG Elias was trans (look I headcanon a lot of the characters as trans or GNC what else do you want from me. This isn’t what this is about). Never got surgery because his father didn’t approve of it and so couldn’t afford to do it.

When Jonah took over, suddenly he was trans too, he hated it. A body that wasn’t his, that’s not an uncommon issue for him, those first years were always a struggle. But this. This was a hell no moment.

He went and got the surgeries immediately, and created a fund for all institute employees to get the surgeries as needed no questions asked.

This is why Martin wanted to work at the institute, easiest and fastest way to get gender affirming care.

#the magnus archives #Jonah Magnus #trans #I HC everyone as trans or gnc or non-binary #it’s an issue really.#not really #I love my trans archive staff #stupid headcanons

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best-transgender-character · 3 months

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Hi everyone. I've been putting some thought into the best way to bring this up without making light of it, since this is a serious topic and this is a very unserious blog. I don't want to reblog a bunch of individual posts without context and explanations attached, but if I find posts that I feel are thorough and explain what is going on, I may reblog them. Here is a summary, for anyone completely unaware of what is happening:

A trans woman (Rita, URL was Predstrogen, now Cyprederone) has had her account falsely flagged as NSFW and banned multiple times as a result of a transmisogynistic harassment campaign against her. You may have seen people talking about how her transition timeline has been flagged mature content, multiple times.

Support have been unhelpful when it comes to the harassment, and dubiously helpful about restoring accounts until this latest event.

People reached out to Photomatt about the topic, who is the CEO of Tumblr. He decided to respond, claiming that Rita was personally harassing him and posting death threats about him. This does not line up with the official reason why Rita was banned, which was "sexually explicit materials". The "death threat" was a slapstick post about an exploding car full of hammers. Matt threatened to contact the police or FBI about the threat, used neutral pronouns for Rita despite being informed of her pronouns, and even referred to her as 'it' in one sentence. He referred to Rita as "pergstrogen" in one post, which may be a particularly unfortunate typo, but may also be an ableist slur. He also sent people direct messages about the topic. Matt denied any possibility of transmisogyny playing a part, and suggested that people who feel this site is not safe for trans women should just leave to a different site.

Rita has been banned for life. Several people criticising Matt for this have also been banned.

Please pay attention to this, read other posts about it, look at Photomatt's blog (archived as of 21/02) to see the way he has handled this and Cyprederone's blog to see Rita's statement.

Here are all of Photomatt's posts about the topic, please check the notes of them to see people's responses as well as people archiving his comments. Edit: These posts have been deleted. I'm unsure if there is an archive somewhere of the comments, but these links are now the webarchive links to these posts.

You gonna do anything or make any statement about the rampant transmisogyny on this hellsite (original post with they/them) (first edit with "the account") (second edit with she/her) (archive of most recent edit)

I love this site and I’m sorry so many people are determined to ruin it.

So, the terfs and neonazis are fine, but a trans women giving threatening you is where you draw the line?

You should really feel bad about how transphobic tumblr is

all you ever do is drop the ban hammer on trans women you don't like, while casually ignoring the harassment they face

can I report your beahviour, or?

it's been four hours and nothing you've said has made this decision look better

Why did you misgender her lmao

❤ (heart emoji) [I don't yet have an archive of this. Please reach out if you have an archive of this, although there wasn't much relevant in this post.]

I'm continuing to get harassment and death threats here

My Beliefs and Principles

Tweeting Rita's saved URLs

He is further arguing with people on Twitter.

[Edit] Staff have now made a PR statement about the topic.

Please give trans women your love and support, and remember that this is deeply serious transmisogyny, not just an excuse to joke about car hammer explosions.

#transmisogyny #this is a very link heavy post so lmk if i fucked any of them up #a previous version of this post included a link to a blog that was only visible if you have an account. that should be rectified now #added archived links for several of the links as well as added two new photomatt posts #cyprederone has been taken down

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she-is-ovarit · 8 months

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Trans medical history and its origins in Nazi medicine focused on sterilizing gay people.

Curiously, I am unable to seem to be able to find my last post I made in sharing Malcolm Clark's posts; it seems to have been removed. I would like to share Tumblr's anti-terrorism clause: "We don't tolerate content that promotes, encourages, or incites acts of terrorism. That includes content which supports or celebrates terrorist organizations, their leaders, or associated violent activities". I would also like to take a moment to recognize that Tumblr promotes and supports quite a lot of "gender affirmation" and trans healthcare related content. As a lesbian who is Jewish, I would also would like to express my appreciation for Tumblr's anti hate speech clause, which describes not promoting violence and hatred among several groups, which I hope includes homosexual people and Jewish people. I hope that Tumblr staff are not removing anti-Nazi posts made by homosexual and/or Jewish people that educate people on some of the origins and horrors of the Holocaust and conversion therapy.

Moving forward, I as a Jewish lesbian would love to share with you important history regarding the oppression of Jewish people and same-sex attracted people as described by Malcolm Clark:

(Link: https://www.sfgate.com/opinion/article/Eugenics-and-the-Nazis-the-California-2549771.php)

Link: https://web.archive.org/web/20181226033626/http://www.transmediawatch.org/timeline.html

Edit: Here is an archived webpage of Malcolm Clark's thread: https://web.archive.org/web/20230925022852/https://threadreaderapp.com/thread/1662967081191497728.html

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leolaroot · 10 months

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not even close to informed or involved w the current republican ao3 staff drama (obviously) but im reminded of that poll that was going around star trek tumblr that asked "do you think a bigot could be a trekkie?" and dozens of people were giving their impassioned takes of how OBVIOUS it is that trek could never be enjoyed by someone whos racist or homophobic or disagrees with Their Personal Beliefs. never minding how star trek is full of bigotry both fantastical and real-world. even the highly praised "progressive" elements like televisions first interracial kiss! (was not actually tvs first interracial kiss) when watched in context its a white man being forced onto a black woman. never mind the wide swaths of openly right wing fans who love the franchise. i like it and im Progressive, so it Must Be Progressive And Revolutionary.

people who identify strongly by their personal perception of their own political beliefs have a knee jerk angry reaction to learning that people with other beliefs enjoy the same things as them. its why certain misogynistic rock fans dedicate their online existence to shitting on babymetal or whatever. its why any tumblrina has ever made a post about liking something in a way that is inherently more clever or thoughtful or deep than any other fan does (bc theyre smarter than Those Fans and not like Those Fans and tbh Those Fans are Not Real Fans)

of course a person can support the republican party while also working for ao3? there are republicans who consider themselves lgbt allies. there are gay republicans. there are gay people who are white supremacists and antisemites and transmisogynists and xenophobes. there are people who masturbate privately to the fantasy of trans bodies qnd its alluring specifically BECAUSE of how publicly they devalue and despise trans lives.

when you learn that you enjoy something thats also enjoyed by bigots, the response shouldnt be to defend yourself, or launch into no-true-scottsman bullshit, or to forcibly distance yourself from those bigots. the appropriate response is to return to the source material and ask yourself why it might attract bigots. ask yourself whether you noticed those themes the first time. (its maybe more obviously true that a fanfiction archive accessible to anyone will have a lot of highly offensive shit, sure, but this is true for any movie, book, or tv show you enjoy.) ask yourself this: if watching a tv show with gay characters ISNT enough to make a person an ally, what am i doing that makes myself at all different from those people?

you will struggle find a fandom or media property or piece of art that is one hundred percent pure and untouched by cruelty or hate. because everything and everyone is the product of the world they come from. make personal judgements and pay attention to the underlying intent and messages of the media yiu internalize and share with others. i dont remember what this post was about. OH YEAH its not even slightly surprising or confusing to anypony who thinks for more than a second that the "my free speech at the expense of anyone's comfort (including the comfort of the people im writing porn about. and yes that includes sexual rpf of child actors)" website would have right wing support. oky bye

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thenamesblurrito · 2 years

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A commission for @pluralsword for the lovely fic Addendum over on AO3, following Arcee on her gender journey! Some snippets are under the cut, including the bit this illustrated scene is from.

The torn metal thread shreds of the Crystal City Messenger newspaper fell from my hands. My body shivered and I felt bellows build up in my voice box unreleased.

“We have truly entered a world of madness- we are dead, dead peoples,” I muttered at my doorstep in the empty residential hallway.

The front-page article and first two sentences ran over and over in my mind. THEOCONOMIST FORM-ESSENTIALISM MADE LAW AFTER TAMPERED PUBLIC POLLS. Nova Prime endorses the theoconomists favoring form over aesthetic and orders the demolition of all aesthetic archives, programs, and organizations in the name of ‘freedom,’ and ‘moving on.’ We write with urgency – because of our reporting over the millennia against the reactionary rise, maintaining of records, and projecting of voices of the decreasing population that still connects to gender or anything like it, we are among the news groups hereby outlawed-

In my wordless scream of frustration and his of terror, I severed his head from his neck and immediately charged towards the door, deflecting the shots and cutting down the handful of bots in front of me, while taking scatter blasts to my back in yells of pain-

Blasts that fell silent as the hauler’s metal screeched and tore from rocket explosions at the front, spinning us wildly. I stood alone, legs bent and jumping about, while the rest tumbled.

I was about to run- Don’t run- and instead began to bear down on each with my blades in rapid succession while I bled. Four stabs through sparks by the time the remaining eleven stood back up in the back corner gravity had left them in, near me, and I sliced through the group’s torsos in four blows with a triumphant yell, as all fell to my blades beyond their experience or technology.

I sputtered, exhaust fumes coming out of my transforming seams in nervousness in my chair in her brightly lit office.

“You can say it, you know it as I do, and we’re here for you, just like people were for me,” she got up from her chair and stood in front of me, her sturdy shoulder stacked frame’s firm graspers towards me. “Can I hold your hands? Would that help?”

“Yeah...” I reached out and held her own, feeling her fingers gently find an easy grip around me. “It’s nice to actually be able to trust a doctor and a friend with understanding me and my body, that of a linked trans gal.”

"Sibling, you shouldn't be here," Galvatron crossed his arms and leaned on the wall. "This is far too dangerous, not in a combative sense, but that of you against the world," He frowned. "Including danger from your supposed patron and protector."

"You mean, the only person who has done right by our kind with any sort of power to protect us?" I stared back. "You showed up now to tell me that? No hug, no gladness to see me?"

“Hang on m’am I’m messaging a medic named Safety he’ll be right over with his team-” Phreaker replied.

I was flabbergasted. “Phreaker!”

“What? Just finished talking to him, sorry about that lady,” Phreaker transformed back and extended an arm. “I’m way smaller than you, but you can barely stand, and you need a friend. Lean on me.”

“Why did you use she pronouns and gender terms that some have associated with women? I haven’t told you my pronouns or my gender or terminology therein,” I stared at his cube of a face.

I spotted recent Cybernought tracks in the direction of my heading. No no no this is bad!! =”ANODE! LUG! Can you read me??”=

I slowed and reached the residue point- there was a crater with a shattered shield staff in the middle, and pink blood everywhere.

I transformed, crouched, and spotted split off pieces of Lug’s chest and torso armor.

“Hey Arcee, what’s up? Surprised to get a call from you after our last conversation,” Windblade’s holodisplay visage smiled at me, wings outstretched.

“I’ve been playing around with Earth mode reformats to choose.” I sent her communications table the file scans of considered alt modes and altered files I had tinkered with. “And actually found some euphoria from the shapes I’m considering, but I realized, I realized I didn’t want to be alone right now for this, I wanted someone who would understand to be present.”

“So, after all these millions of years, after all your labor for a radical revolution and then for survival in the wider galaxy, why in the stars would-” I fumbled over my words, the weight of my title and path of peace pressed on me, as I looked on at Arcee and Windblade, the old and new wiser than me, and both our future. “Why would you, an ancient trans woman anarchist, join up with the Autobots and work as my right hand, and even a commander in my stead?”

“Hey, hey, Arcee, Aileron told us what was happening,” Lug rubbed my back stacks, as did Anode from my sitting position where Aileron held me. “I know it’s a lot sometimes when we visit, and especially the occasion today.”

I let their rubbing and embrace anchor for me a moment, and then whimpered out: “come around so I can hug you- let me try to stand-”

Aileron helped me up, and the four of us hugged close. Lug’s head nuzzled on my waist, Anode leaned her head on my shoulder, and Aileron touched the three of us with her arms and torso. We had a quiet, lovely moment.

“Reading Anode and Lug’s journals again I see,” Prowl sat across from my cell bar’s door. “I have to ask, what do you of all people see in them besides curiosity? A change of spark, historical inclination?”

“It’s how they lived with the resources they had, and how strong they were with so little material,” I turned my head, and put the journal down. “They had in abundance things I didn’t value that only they could make- their euphoria, their companionship, their epistemes, their memories, their family. Resources I lost understanding for their true meaning long ago and am trying to retrace, (rest of quote removed due to spoilers)

Aileron's drippy face looked up at me as Gauge and Sideswipe held her hand, and Ailering, Greenlight, Anodes, Lugs, and Lancer hugged her. "I know we'll be family again too, Windblade..."

"I know we will," I smiled and joined the embrace, letting her chest rest on my head. "I have no doubt."

"Aunty, do you think-," Gauge wrapped an arm around me. "Do you think if our world had been happier- if we had not had 12 million years of empire- that her life would have been able to blossom more than it did? To never have been so alone?"

#commission #Arcee #arceeleron #anode #lug #lugnode #aileron #transformers #tf idw #macaddam #friend stuff #getting idw designs accurate is like. why yes i will be spending sO MUCH TIME on the lining here

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quinnhills · 1 year

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Good to know you're feeling welcome! :D this is our little place in the internet, and we've decided to make it trans and gay as hell (n i gotta say, i did think "they-them gang! :o" when i found out you started using they/them too a while ago X3 ) n if you received this ask more than once, my tumblr bugged out before i could finish, sorry (。_。)

anyways, and sorry if this is long, but Woe- More Tumblr Things Be Upon Ye:

there used to not be an image limit before, causing a few- interesting posts… tho that changed a few years ago and recently, at first the limit being 10 images per post to now 30 images per post (you can also move the images around a bit)

if you plan on staying long term on tumblr and use desktop the most, i recommend getting the browser extensions Xkit &/or New Xkit cuz… yeah, tumblr is pretty nice, but it sometimes gets hard to use. it also adds extra useful things to the tumblr experience, which is nice to have. i'd say tumblr is like living in a cheap apartment in a calm area of the city. the place's great for what it is, just gotta be sure to leave rat traps near holes and dont worry about the Beast down the hall,

speaking of rats, we got an infestation. you may or may not have heard of it with the voter fraudage going with the polls a bit ago; since tumblr has little to No email verification, people outside tumblr buy bots to get in here and start posting malicious links. tho the bots are surprisingly easy to identify (often times blank blogs with very weird descriptions + stolen picture of lady or ai generated. you'll know it when you see it), and the protocol here is block and report spam so staff can deal with it

and btw if you want to keep a post for as long as your blog stands, i recommend rebloggin! thanks to how tumblr is build as, even if the original post or that blog is gone, the reblog will stay with you (+ tags on reblogs dont really make a post expand outside of your own blog, so many use this to create Very intricate personal tag systems to make easier finding posts, bc once a blog gets 1k+ post in it, it gets hard finding anything on it... <- knows this from experience u.u)

oh and last thing before i go again (and something i found out recently), another browser extension ive been loving: Stylus! with it you can customize a ton of sites to your liking And with a specific style found in the archive of this extension, you can change how the dashboard looks! even changing the background to any image you might want :D

so yeah, thats it, for now. i got more info if you want it, just lmk 👉👈

and you probably already noticed this, but there isnt really any word limit for posts or asks around these lands. tho on tags, the character limit on a single tag is 139. but you can put a Lot of tags, so there! be free mx quinn, no character limit holds you down no more ヽ(✿ﾟ▽ﾟ)ノ

Thank you so much for the knowledge!

Some Quinn Facts:

Mx., Ms. and Miss are all acceptable :)

I use “gay as hell” as a sort of tongue-in-cheek shorthand, but I also identify as trans as hell, queer as hell, non-binary as hell, lesbian as hell, and anxious/depressive as hell

I’m a vegetarian

My favorite food is pineapple pizza (controversial, I know)

For a few years in the early 2000s, I was a licensed auctioneer

The most times I’ve ever cried during a movie is 5 times during Happiest Season

I like the idea of books, but I’m bad at reading them

Overalls give me gender euphoria, and I don’t know why

I hope to release a solo album within the next year

I hope to direct a feature-length film by the time I’m 40

Coming out was the best thing I ever did

#i am now testing the one hundred and thirty-nine character limit of the tagging system—not because I don’t believe you but because this just #is how my brain works #limit reached #test complete #thank you

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thefirstknife · 2 years

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Hey, would you happen to have lore receipts for Drifter being bi? Just curious, it’s been a while since I read trough his lore :) I would also add Petra to the list of gays as well, while not confirmed, she’s heavily implied to be in love with Mara.

Oh yeah, Petra! 100% wlw and heavily implied to be in love with Mara. Awoken just be like that.

On to Drifter, yes! He is my blorbo and he is the best.

First, we know he likes women because he very obviously had (still has?) a thing for Orin. He also tried flirting with Lady Efrideet (disastrous result). And he very obviously likes Eris. To what extent, we can't tell, but he enjoys her company and has explicitly said that he likes how "freakyx she is. He also most recently dedicated time to make her a nice meal in seasonal armour (Eidolon Pursuant set).

The other hints are in how he talks about certain things in general. For example:

And you know me. I like to keep some folk close—real close. I feel somebody's hand on my throat, I figure they're about to kill me or kiss me.

Personally, I like to keep my options open.

It doesn't specify gender!

Also this:

"Had a face like the end-times and eyes like manna in the desert. One look at him, and I knew I wasn't gonna be saved."

Who is this man whose eyes he's complimenting? (probably Shin)

More directly though, he's very openly flirting with men for no reason and out of nowhere, as well as using as much innuendo as possible while he talks.

His first target? Zavala. These lines from Arrivals for example. He's so direct when asking if Zavala came to see him because he's special. Like, hello? Also this absolutely bonkers innuendo about Zavala he sent to Ikora (from Witch Queen CE book):

Hey Ikora,

Did you sign off on this? Zavala ordered a search of my ship to get samples of my plants? "There are known similarities between your vessel's infestation and the growths aboard the derelict Glykon Volatus." Tell the big guy that if he wants to get at my garden, he'd better start pounding some Primevals.

Transmat firing,

I think that's as far as they could've gone with that one without crossing the ratings line.

And my fave for last. So, there's a lore book about Ada-1 making the loom for transmog and at one point she visits Rahool for help. And he explains that it will take a long time to search for things she needs so she asks if she can search herself. And then:

Rahool shook his head. "Access to the classified archives is limited to sanctioned Guardians, Tower support staff, or the Vanguard themselves. You are none of those things."

Ada scoffed. "Don't be ridiculous, I've seen that Drifter perusing this data on a weekly basis for his own amusement."

"That's not— there's no way—" Rahool stammered and blushed. "I assure you, no such breach has occurred."

I'm sorry, but nobody will ever convince me that this isn't confirmation that Rahool and Drifter are hooking up and Rahool is giving him access to the Cryptarchy archives.

The way this is written is beyond funny. First, Ada practically lives next to Drifter and she says she's SEEN him using the archives. So she has personally seen something going on between Drifter and Rahool. On a weekly basis.

And then also Rahool "stammering and blushing." That's fanfic level acknowledgement. Why would he stammer and blush if he didn't allow it? Wouldn't he be angry about it and ask that Ada tell him all she knows right away so that he can report Drifter? Nope. He's stammering and blushing. Case closed.

In conclusion, Drifter likes dangerous women who can snap him in half and Awoken men. I don't blame him.

Additionally, something I like very much, a certain bounty you can take for Gambit:

The text changes depending on your character's gender. This is the text for the female Guardian, but if you're on a male Guardian, he'll say it the other way around with king/queen.

Drifter says trans rights!

#destiny 2 #drifter #petra #rahool #ask #lore vibing #long post #drifter is very chill and accepting #if you give him any positive attention he falls in love with you #bless

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kazutoraswhore123 · 1 year

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Hi, I just wanted to come on here and share some of my favorite fics, these fics aren’t dedicated to one fandom in particular it’s just fics in general so yeah.

This is a wolfstar/Jegulus fic basically, it takes place after Sirius gets sent to grimmauld place and he finds a loop whole in Order to leave. So Sirius,Remus and Harry got to Harry’s dad parents place and Harry finds an old muggle video camera that contains old videos of regulus and James.

It’s a great fic love it, I love fics like this I have like one more and if anyone has any fic Recs with this kinda topic please let me know thanks

Ok this is another Jegulus fic, And basically Sirius finds Regulus’s old diary from when he was in Hogwarts this is a trans regulus fic and it’s really good(also this took me over an hour to find so you welcome)

Ok this is a MikeyTake fic and it’s like an alternate universe, where there are still gangs and they are in high school but Mikey is running(it was either kanto or bonten I can’t remember lol) instead of Toman. And basically to sum it up Hinata left Takemichi for kisaki(🤢) because takemichi didn’t want to have sex with her, and takemichi wants her back, and he ends up befriending Mikey, and Mikey has the idea that they should fake date(and obviously they fall in love duh🙄 lmao also Mikey is dark impulse but it’s more manila Mikey then then Kanto Mikey/Bonten Mikey. He’s only evil when he’s with the gang)

I personally haven’t finished this fic(thought it is a finished fic I just haven’t gotten around to it yet lol) and this fic is not for the faint of heart ok so be prepared. In this fic there are no gangs. Rindou and Ran grew up in a really rich family and they are taking over part of the family business. Sanzu is this rich psycho yandere douche wad, who has an arranged marriage set for him and Rindou and he like abuses him and stuff and he’s really crazy but it like gets better and then worse and I haven’t finished it but I’m pretty sure it will end on a good note hopefully fingers crossed 🤞

Ok this is a Drarry fic and it’s and 8th year au, basically Draco went to Azkaban for 3 months after the war and then him an a few of the past 7th years attended Hogwarts again for 8th year to continue there education, but since there was so little students and significantly less administration the eight years were given in the staff dormitory and your own common room as a way to promote house unity and Draco and Harry are assigned roommates it’s pretty good I read it recently.

That’s all for the moment I might if I can update this post with new fics or make a new post about it

Y’all I just spent like two hours updating this and it didn’t even save so now I’m pissed off and supper un motivated so idk when imma update this so yeah

#harry potter #drarry #marauders #jegulus #Tokyo revengers #rinzu

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queerdisagreeable · 2 years

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{ID - digital art, a timeline of Martin from The Magnus Archives, as his appearance changes with each major event/season. Each appearance has a series of notes surrounding it. As a rule, Martin’s hair is curly and starts off auburn brown before turning various shades of grey and white. There is a puff of hair on top that looks like a heart. His eyes start off dark blue, and become foggy grey. He is white and freckled, fat and drawn into himself, with rounded features.

S1 - Martin is wearing a bright yellow jumper with orange starbursts on i; it doesn't fully hide his chest. He has rounded glasses and messy, curly hair. He wears trousers with scuff marks on. He waves gently at someone offscreen, and holds a mug of tea in his other hand. He wears a trans flag badge, and a simple orange one, as well as a green lanyard that says "STAFF". He has the start of a beard. Notes - (pointing to hair) "Bird's nest" "Yeah I'm in my 30s! I know I don't look it; baby face!" "Charity shops love him!" (pointing to his chest) "Non-op (too expenny)" "Repairs his own clothes" "Children's TV presenter vibes"

S1 (archive livin') - His hair is slightly longer and messier, and he is wearing pyjamas. His pyjamas are a matched set; a blue shirt with paw prints on the chest, and a pair of blue boxers with dog faces on. His arms and legs are visible, showing a lot of body hair and two tattoos. On his left bicep is a black cog, and on the inside of his right thigh is a small spider. In one hand, he clutches a corkscrew. His left hand clutches fearfully onto his right arm. Notes - "Matching PJ set (from Sash)" "Mechs tattoo lol (Jon FREAKED out)" "No haircuts for lads in quarantine" "Is that a corkscrew in your pocket or- (it's a corkscrew)" (pointing to the spider) "Stick n' Poke from when he was like 16"

S2 - His hair remains long and messy, but he now looks generally more exhausted and tense. He is wearing a pink jumper with a small heart design on, and his trans pin. The jumper sits on top of a pink-grey shirt. He is also wearing purple-grey suit trousers. He still clutches onto his corkscrew. Notes - "SO tense SO jumpy" "Nearly stabbed Tim one time" "Dressing better (to impress Jon)"

S3 - His hair is shorter now and his outfit is more muted. He is also slightly fatter. He wears a thick green sweater vest and a grey-beige shirt with his suit trousers. He clutches a tape recorder in his hand. He looks incredibly sad, and his fists are clenched. Notes - "3AM sadness haircut" "Sad" "Putting on worry weight" "Tries to remain progessional despite it all (colours remind him of Jon), "Using 'Jon's' recorder"

S4 - A dramatic change for Martin; his hair is longer again, and cloudy grey. His glasses are clouded by fog, and he is looking stern and stubborn. His skin is much paler, and his freckles are faded. He is wearing a navy blue turtleneck and jeans. He holds a piece of paper in one hand, and a blue mug in the other. Behind him are soft blue clouds. Notes - "No more Mr Soft Boi" "Depression Hair Returns" ""Peter's evil, sure, but he's right about turtlenecks." Talking to a recorder" "Paler" (pointing to the paper) "5th Extinction statement of the week" "There's Red Bull (warm) in this mug" "Gets cold easily now" "Freckles fade" "Glasses fog up" "Mist & clouds help him leave unnoticed"

S5 (cottage) - A slight return to his season 1 design, but clearly changed. His hair is pale brown, and his skin has a little big more colour back to it. He is wearing a big blue jumper with pawprints on the arms and a dog's face on the front with text that says "PUP" in primary colours. He is also wearing a scarf striped with purple, magenta, and green. He is still wearing his jeans. He looks gently happy, but very tired. He doesn't wear his glasses. Tiny wisps of cloud hang around behind him. Notes - (pointing to the scarf) "Jon's scarf" "He refuses to see it" "A little colour comes back" "At least 3 layers on" "Convinced Jon he doesn't need gloves indoors" "the tiniest bit of hope" "Sad and tired but in love {heart}"

S5 (Kill Bill) - Martin has fallen back to the Lonely somewhat. His hair is almost entirely white, and his skin is pale again. He looks dangerously angry. He is wearing his S1 jumper with jeans, a brown trench coat, and Jon's scarf. He scowls, breathing out a puff of blue fog. Notes - "Clawing for a happy end" "He just wanted to be soft." "Peter was right about big coats too. Fuck." "Becomes more/less Lonely based on mood"

Doodles - Three goofy line doodles of Martin 1 - A tiny S5 Eyepocalypse Martin, his fists clenched and his eyes narrowed. He is screaming, "OI DICK'EAD" 2 - A S5 Cottage Martin, glasses off. An arrow pointing to him says, "His ass can't see shit" 3 - A doodle of S4 Martin that is transparent. He is making a peace sign and is being surrounded by clouds. A note next to him says, "Peace Out"

END ID}

i also. love him.

#tma #the magnus archives #tma martin #martin tma #jonmartin #slightly #senseless ramblings #my art

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thekisforkeats · 3 years

Text

Love Languages

Info: The Magnus Archives, JonMartin, rated T probably for swears. Canon-Compliant. Set post-MAG 22, with a coda post-MAG 159. Everyone is ND and everyone is trans because that’s just how my personal S1 Archives gang rolls.

CWs: Mentions of ableism and Martin’s mother. I’d say canon-typical worms but the worms don’t really come up except in passing.

I do not know anything about BSL, so I did not try to describe the signs.

Summary: A love language is not just about how you best show love and affection; it is also about the ways you best receive love and affection. And so, for someone like Martin, who shows love by going out of his way to help others, someone going out of their way to help him, well. What better way for him to realize just how loved he is?

--------------------------------------------

The first time Martin went completely non-verbal after starting work in the Archives, it was the morning after giving Jon the statement about Jane Prentiss.

It wasn’t a surprising development, really. Martin didn’t go fully non-verbal that often, but when he did it was almost always a thing that started in the morning and lasted most of the day. Sometimes it wore off by the time he went to bed, sometimes it lasted until the next morning.

After his mother’s diagnosis, he’d been unable to speak for an entire week. That hadn’t gone over well--as much as his mother wanted him to be quiet, she didn’t like the “silent treatment,” as she called it.

Martin hated that she’d called it that, as though his non-verbal episodes were anything he did on purpose. Some days talking just felt like a chore; those days he could get by only forcing words out when he had to. But some days, the worst days, he just couldn’t talk. He could understand other people just fine, he could make noises, sometimes he could even hum. And he could definitely read and write. But speaking words, aloud? No. He could not speak, on these days, however much he may have wanted to.

As Martin grew older and learned more about himself, he learned words and reasons and coping mechanisms. He realized that some of the problem came from dysphoria and the longer he was on hormones the less often it happened. He realized that he was autistic (even if he never got diagnosed), and learned how to handle the episodes that still occurred. He took sign languages classes because it was a good and useful thing to know regardless, to be able to communicate with more people.

As many Deaf people had learned before Martin, he’d found himself in plenty of situations when nobody around him knew BSL, so he’d found a phone app that let him type out things he wanted to say and repeated them in a tinny, mechanical voice. Feminine, but he found it didn’t cause dysphoria; it wasn’t his voice. It was the app speaking for him, a robot lady translating his words.

Martin was fairly certain he was going to need the robot lady to speak for him today, and he was dreading the whole idea. The app got him a range of reactions from scorn to derision to faux sympathy. The last time he’d done so at work, the Institute library staff had regarded him with such pity that he’d called in sick the two other times it had happened since.

He’d woken early, because he was always awake fairly early, to ensure he looked presentable and got to work on time. He did not want Jonathan “Crisply Professional At All Times” Sims giving him that look again. The particular look that was “I highly disapprove of your sartorial choices but I’m not going to get into it right now because I have so very much else to do. Nonetheless, if I could fire you for what you’re wearing I would.”

Jon had a lot of looks. Martin fervently wished he could stop categorizing them; he very much disliked his boss, and very much wanted to stop thinking about Jon quite as much as he did.

Jon was attractive, that much Martin had noticed the first day he’d come in, with a jawline Martin would’ve loved to trace with his fingers, eyes sharp and deep and intelligent, salt-and-pepper hair that Martin would have tangled his fingers in gladly.

Except, of course, that Jon was also a prick who didn’t like Martin one bit and made that very clear. He’d put down on record that he thought Martin would “contribute nothing but delays.” Martin was not such a sucker for punishment that he would put up with someone who hated him just for a pretty face. The tiny potential blossom of a crush had been, well, crushed five seconds after it had poked its head above ground, by Jon’s declaration that he could dismiss Martin if he didn’t resolve the “dog situation” immediately.

Martin counted his lucky stars every day that Jon had not, in fact, dismissed him, despite having had to deal with a doggy mess. The luck was really in having Tim around, Martin figured; Jon actually seemed fond of Tim, and the other man had managed to smooth the entire situation over.

Martin had fallen asleep last night thinking about the new look Jon had given him yesterday: concerned. Truly, genuinely concerned, which had rather taken Martin aback. He’d been certain Jon wouldn’t believe him, would scoff and roll his eyes at the entire statement, and instead he’d just looked… concerned.

And then Jon had offered Martin the cot that he’d woken up in this morning.

It wasn’t the look of concern that had Martin non-verbal, though; of that he was certain. It was the stress of the last two weeks, and dumping out the statement yesterday, and all the whirl of figuring out how to live in the Archives. Jon’s insistence on going with him to pick up basics with a toothbrush at the convenience store, and then coming back to be sure he was okay. Jon finding clean sheets and discussing how he’d do his laundry. Jon had expensed clothing bought online to the Institute, including next-day shipping, because he’d “lost access to his flat and thus his wardrobe in the line of duty.” It had all been bewildering and overwhelming and it was no real surprise that Martin was in the state he found himself when he woke.

Martin had known as soon as he’d opened his eyes. It was just there, the feeling of nope can’t talk today. He’d pulled on his binder and the same clothing he’d worn the day before and then fumbled around for his phone. Which… he didn’t have. The damn worm-hive-lady had stolen it from him. Well, shit.

He managed to avoid having to figure out how to talk while he went out to get breakfast, just pointing at a scone in the display and smiling at the guy behind the counter as if he wasn’t secretly irritated by the price of everything in Chelsea. By the time Martin got back, Jon was already in his office, so thank God he’d avoided that awkward interaction. He went to make himself tea, and had his breakfast in the breakroom, and brushed his teeth, and then went to get started on…

Wait. He didn’t even know what they were working on right now.

Well, he wasn’t going to bother Jon about it; however nice he’d been last night it surely must have worn off by now, and Martin had no interest in summoning one of his boss’ looks this early in the morning. Normally he’d still be on his commute at this hour.

After a moment’s thought, he went to go see what they’d recorded in his absence, and soon had a stack of statements on his desk. They’d gotten through five statements in the two weeks he’d been gone. Maybe Jon was right. Maybe Martin did contribute “nothing but delays.”

Pushing the thought aside, Martin focused on listening to the tapes, and was just finishing up listening to the second half of Father Edwin Burroughs’ statement when Tim came into the shared office the assistants used.

“Hey, you’re in early. You get the email?”

Martin raised his eyebrows and shook his head.

Tim snorted. “Jon claims he’s got something to warn us about, something that ‘won’t parse properly through digital means.’” He rolled his eyes. “Which is Jon-speak for ‘it’s a weird thing and I don’t want to admit it’s a weird thing because I have to keep my skeptic hat on to preserve my self-image.”

Martin chuckled in solidarity, then gestured toward the door to Jon’s office, to indicate that’s where their boss was.

“Not coming?” Tim asked, his own eyebrow raised. When Martin shrugged, he said, “Well, I guess if you didn’t get the email…” Tim also shrugged, then said, “Guess I’d better get it over with. Wish me luck!”

Martin gave him a thumbs up.

When Sasha came in, Martin silently directed her to Jon’s office as well, then heaved a sigh of relief. He hadn’t had to explain being non-verbal at all yet, and it was already nine o’clock. Maybe if he was lucky, Jon would warn them off talking to him and he’d manage to make it the entire day without having to explain the whole “non-verbal” business to anyone he saw on a regular basis.

Alas, it was barely thirty minutes later that Tim and Sasha returned to talk to him, both wearing expressions of mingled concern and guilt. When they spoke it was a flood of the usual, expected platitudes:

“We’re so sorry!”

“We didn’t know!”

“Are you okay??”

And such like.

Martin shrugged and nodded and shook his head in all the right places, and evidently Jon had played them the tape of his statement so he didn’t have to explain it all again (thank God), and he thought maybe, maybe he could even figure out what statement they were working on right now if he just listened to their chatter after they were done with the niceties, but then…

Well. Then Timothy Stoker happened.

Which is to say, Tim actually looked at Martin, and said, “You’re being awfully quiet. You sure you’re okay?”

And then he and Sasha just… sat there, looking at him expectantly.

Martin sighed and reached for a piece of scrap paper and wrote, I’m autistic and sometimes I go non-verbal. Today’s one of those days, but I don’t have my phone anymore, so no communication app.

As he held up the paper so the others could read the words, Martin braced himself for the ensuing reactions. Pity, probably, like those in the Institute library, and he couldn’t even call in sick to avoid it; he’d rather have scorn and derision. At least those reactions were honest.

What he got from them was not pity, however, nor even scorn.

Sasha hummed. “Autism explains a lot, actually. Don’t worry, it’s not a problem.”

Tim grinned and clapped Martin on the shoulder. “Yeah, why didn’t you just say so? It’s fine, you’ve been through an ordeal. And so you know--you’re hardly the only neurodivergent in the Archives.”

Martin blinked at Tim, then wrote: Wait, what? Who…?

“Would you believe me if I said all of us?” Tim said with a grin. “I have ADD, Jon’s… well… he’s Jon, and as for Sasha…”

Sasha sighed in fond exasperation and cut in, “Tim…”

“I contend that you cannot be neurotypical, Ms. James. You fit in too well around here.”

“I am not admitting to anything on Institute property,” Sasha said with aplomb. “And you shouldn't have either, but here we are.” She looked at Martin. “If HR finds out and they give you any trouble, let us know and we’ll figure out what to do.”

Tim, in the meanwhile, pulled out his phone. “Here, go ahead and use mine for now, until your replacement gets here or whatever. What’s the app so I can install it for you?”

Martin’s jaw had dropped open. Tim having ADD made sense; what did he mean about Jon, though? And Sasha? And what did Sasha mean about HR? And… and why were they being so… nice? So… understanding? It wasn’t an act, or at least he didn’t think it was. They seemed… genuinely fine with it. Accepting, even.

It was the strangest thing Martin had experienced in a while, and that was including the worm-riddled woman who’d stood outside his door for two straight weeks.

From there the day just… went on as normal. Tim installed the app on the phone, Martin’s robot phone lady spoke for him, the three of them did their work, and everything was fine.

Until, of course, the nature of their work reared its ugly head. They were discussing the statement of Leanne Denikin, case #0051701, which they had yet to attach a pithy name to; hence the discussion. It had long since become standard practice to attach a name to the “weirder” statements, to make them easier to discuss. (Jon insisted on using the case numbers on tape still, which was annoying, given that was the only place he did that.)

Martin was reading through the statement, and he typed into Tim’s phone: What do you think of this bit? “Be still, for there is strange music.”

What came out of the phone’s speakers, however, was garbled static followed by high-pitched screeching that startled Martin so much he actually dropped the phone.

Jon was walking in just as this happened; he stopped in the doorway, blinking. “What on Earth was that?”

“Martin’s robot lady gave Tim’s phone an aneurysm, I think,” Sasha said, eyeing Martin as well.

Martin scrabbled on the floor for the phone, pulled up the app (which had crashed), and typed, I don’t know what happened!! I was just typing in something from one of the statements!

Jon frowned at him sharply. “What are you doing with Tim’s phone? Are you quite well?”

“No, Martin is not ‘quite well,’” Tim said. “Non-verbal for the day.”

Then Jon did something that stunned Martin: Jon signed at him, specifically, “Do you know sign language?” He spoke aloud as he said this, too, but also raised his eyebrows and gave a quizzical tilt to his head to convey that he was asking a question.

Martin blinked rapidly, then signed back: “Yes, actually. But Tim and Sasha don’t.”

Jon nodded, then said aloud, along with signing, “Why are you non-verbal, exactly?”

“I have autism,” Martin signed. “Sometimes talking is overwhelming and sometimes, especially in stressful situations, I can’t talk at all. Woke up that way today. It should be gone by tomorrow morning.” Why was he explaining so much more to Jon than he had to the others? Maybe just because Jon knew sign, and thus could communicate in a language Martin found much easier than even the typing.

Jon frowned thoughtfully, then nodded again. Then, still speaking and signing both, “What were you typing into your phone?”

“Be still, for there is strange music. From the statement.” Martin gestured to the statement on his desk.

Jon’s frown deepened and he repeated the words. “‘Be still, for there is strange music….’” His expression went slack for a moment, and then he shook himself. “Right. Well. Just… just… I’ll be right back.” Then he abruptly turned and left the room.

Tim and Sasha exchanged bewildered looks. Then Sasha asked, “Do you know what that was all about?”

“I forgot Jon knows BSL,” Tim replied thoughtfully. “Hard of hearing on one side. Not that he’d have agreed to interpret all day or anything.”

Martin shrugged. It’s alright, he typed. This works just fine.

“Well, no, obviously not for some things.” Jon had reappeared as suddenly as he’d disappeared, holding a small brown notebook the size of Martin’s hand. “Here,” he said, thrusting the notebook at Martin. “This will work better, for communicating about the statements. You needn’t use it with me, of course, unless signing is also taxing.”

Martin stared up at Jon. There was an entirely new look on his boss’ face. Not any level of scorn or sneer, nor even concern. He was… nervous. Fidgety. Like he was offering a gift that he was afraid might be rejected.

Something went flip in Martin’s stomach and it was like the entire world turned upside down. Suddenly, in light of Jon’s actions in the last 24 hours, he saw the way his boss had acted toward him the last six months for what it was: a defense mechanism. Armor pulled up around someone fragile and soft and sweet, someone so terrified of rejection that he went about making sure it happened preemptively so he wouldn’t be hurt.

Martin had a sudden, fierce desire to hug Jon and tell him everything would be okay. It was so bewildering a sensation--he didn’t even like the man! At all!--that he just took the notebook with a nod and a signed “Thank you,” eyes still very wide.

Jon nodded in return. “You’re welcome.” He let out a breath, and seemed to relax a little. “Well. Then. I think we’ve found the name for this one, given the way Tim’s phone reacted to those words. ‘Strange Music’ it is.” He straightened himself. “Tim, you said something about the organ reminding you of articles you’ve read…?”

Tim nodded, expression suddenly serious. “Yeah. I’ll see if I can find them for you.”

“Right. Well, then, Sasha, if I could ask you to look through the Archive like we talked about? I’m certain we’ve had a statement from Jane Prentiss.” Jon then turned to Martin. “And if you wouldn’t mind helping me with ‘Schwarzwald?’ You used to work in the library, right?”

Martin was still staring at Jon in confusion, but nodded.

Jon actually smiled at him. Faintly. “Well, then, I’m certain you must know where to find the German history reference books, if you could go grab whatever they’ll let you bring down?”

The strangest thing about it was, Jon seemed sincere. Like he actually believed Martin did, indeed, know the library well enough to just… go up there and find the German history reference books. The faint, confident-in-his-assistant smile was a new look, at least directed at Martin; he’d seen Jon look at Tim and Sasha that way many times before.

Martin’s stomach was doing cartwheels. There were butterflies taking up residence in his intestines. His heart was pounding. How had he never noticed how nice Jon’s smile was? Soft and small, like he was afraid to let it actually take up residence on his face for too long.

Oh, God, oh, no. Martin could not fancy his boss. Jon hated him. Or, well, no, evidence suggested that perhaps Jon did not hate him, but Jon most certainly did not fancy him. This crush had to disappear, just as fast as it had come. This would not do.

He was going to be writing poetry again tonight, wasn’t he? Crap.

“Martin?” Jon’s tone was concerned rather than sharp, and the way Jon said his name made Martin want to sink into the floor.

Instead, he scribbled furiously in the notebook and held it up so all three of the others could see: Yeah, sorry, was just thinking about where that’d be. I’ll bring them down as soon as I find them.

Jon practically beamed at Martin’s use of the notebook and he nodded briskly. “Right! I’ll be in my office when you have the books, then.” He started to turn away.

Martin’s heart went pound pound pound because oh wow Jon was really cute when he let that smile take up more of his face. Throwing caution to the wind, he made a noise to get the other man’s attention.

Jon turned around, quirking a brow. “Yes, Martin?”

Martin signed, “Tea?” He, too, raised his eyebrows and tilted his head to indicate the question.

Jon nodded. “Tea would be lovely, yes.” He smiled at Martin for a brief moment, and then suddenly looked flustered. He glared at them all. “Anyway,” he snapped in his ‘boss’ voice, the impact of which was ruined by the flush rising in his cheeks, “there’s still work to be done. So let’s… do it.” And with that, he turned on his heel and left the office.

Had Jon blushed because Martin had offered him tea? Did Jon like his tea that much? Was Martin imagining things? He had to be imagining things. He put his head down on the desk and wrapped his arms over it so he could grab at handfuls of hair. What was happening to him?

Sasha tried to make her voice serious, but couldn't quite manage it past quite clearly holding back giggles. “Mourn for poor Martin, working alone with Jon.” She looked at Tim. “We should call HR preemptively, it’ll be a bloodbath.”

“Nah, I think Jon’s softening on our boy,” Tim said with a laugh. He reached over to ruffle Martin’s hair with one hand while he took his phone back with the other. “Don’t worry, Marto. I told you he’d come around one day.”

Martin looked up at Tim with a stricken, betrayed expression. In the notebook: Is this how you comfort me in my hour of need??

Sasha shook her head. “For once, Tim’s being serious. You weren’t in the room when Jon explained things to us. He’s worried about you, he doesn’t want you to have to leave the Institute alone, he doesn’t want you to have to look for the Prentiss statement in case it’s ‘too traumatic’ for you to run across on your own. He actually asked us if we thought we should avoid any mention of Prentiss altogether in your presence.”

“I told him no,” Tim said. “I hope that was okay. You seem like you’d rather deal with trauma by facing it and figuring it out, rather than avoiding it entirely.”

Matin gaped at them. Really? he wrote. Jon’s… worried about me? Really? As if he hadn’t seen the evidence just now that Jon was, indeed… softening.

Tim gave Martin a very serious look. “I’ve told you before… I’ve known Jon, well, not as long as I’ve known Sasha, but for a long while now. He’s prickly and thorny, even to people he cares about, but that’s a front and I’ve said so. You just didn’t believe me.”

“In Martin’s defense,” Sasha put in, “Jon’s been awfully ‘prickly and thorny’ to him specifically.”

Tim put up a hand. “Oh, I agree. I have had words with our dear boss about the way he treats Martin, largely because I’m one of the few people he might actually listen to.” He looked at Martin. “I don’t want to take the credit, because it’s really been a remarkably fast turnaround, but I’d like to think I helped, a little.”

Martin frowned thoughtfully. Thank you, he wrote. If Jon’s at ‘I can stand Martin’ instead of ‘Martin is the source of all bad that happens in the Archives’ work might be… better than tolerable, for once.

“That’s the spirit!” Tim said with a grin. “Now, then, Jon did say to get back to work…”

Jon gave Martin another of those soft smiles when Martin brought in the tea, a smile which widened on seeing the stack of books he carried in right after. That afternoon, spent sitting and going through books and discussing the Schwarzwald statement, was the first of many they’d spend together, reading and talking and comparing notes.

Martin was feeling verbal again the next morning, but he kept the notebook. If nothing else, it was a good place to jot down poetry. And it came in handy when he found himself unable to speak the morning after Jane Prentiss’ attack on the Archives.

And the morning after Jon confronted him about his CV.

And the morning after Jon disappeared, leaving Jurgen Leitner’s body at his desk. (Martin blamed that on the corridors more than the body, really.)

Funnily enough, he didn’t need it the morning after the Unknowing. But he kept it with him that day all the same, the first gift Jon had ever given him, and one of the few things he had left of him with Jon in a coma.

--------------------------------------------

When they reached Daisy’s safehouse in Scotland, Martin had hoped he’d somehow manage to dodge the threat of going non-verbal. He’d been the one to drive the car, over Jon’s protests; it was something to focus on, to keep him remembering he was alive and real. He’d clutched the wheel and driven north north north with Jon giving directions in the passenger seat.

Martin had finally figured out that it was the chance to stop and think about trauma that led to his being non-verbal, which was why it was almost always a thing that hit in the morning. Adrenaline would keep him running after a stressful event, and then he’d carry himself through the rest of the day trying to clean up whatever mess had been caused. But sleep was enough for his body and brain to both tell him to stop, to process, to deal with whatever he’d run into.

It was possible, in hindsight, that he’d gone non-verbal more than once since the Unknowing and just hadn’t noticed because he’d been barely interacting with anyone. He’d certainly had a bad bout the morning after his mother’s funeral, dealing with so much misgendering and fake smiles. And there had been more than enough trauma to try to process in the past year, so it must have happened before.

He’d just really, really hoped it wouldn’t now, because he didn’t want to put Jon through that. (Why he thought he was putting Jon through anything he didn’t really want to examine. It made him feel Lonely, and that was bad.)

At any rate, the realization of why he went non-verbal had led to him keeping busy in order to hold it off, in order to hold himself together. So he drove, and he puttered about the cabin poking into cupboards, and he talked to Jon, and he talked to the shop lady in the village, and he brought back food and made dinner with Jon, and everything was good and fine.

And then he woke up the next morning, in an unfamiliar bed in an unfamiliar room, and he could not speak.

There was the smell of bacon and eggs and pancakes cooking, and Martin made his bleary way out into the main room of the cabin and peered at Jon, already up and dressed and cooking.

His boyfriend turned to look at him and smiled, one of those soft smiles Martin had come to love so much. “Sleep well?”

"Not really,” Martin signed. “I mean…” He gestured at his throat.

Jon nodded. “I figured you might feel that way this morning. I, uhh… hold on a moment, I need to….” He grabbed the pan of bacon and moved it off the heat, pulled a pancake off the griddle and deposited it on a plate, then turned off the stove and went to poke around in one of the bags.

Martin chuckled fondly. “What’re you looking for?”

Jon was still digging through his bag. “When I was grabbing essentials at the store, back in London, I was thinking, you’ve been through a lot, and the notebook I gave you before must be full if you even have it anymore. I know you were writing poetry in it, and… oh, here we go.”

Jon came up with another small notebook. This one was not plain and brown, the way the first one he’d gifted Martin all those years ago had been. This one was black, and had silvery stars on its cover that, as Jon held out the book and thus tilted it through the light, shimmered into rainbows.

“Just in case, you know, the shop lady doesn’t know BSL.”

Martin blinked at the notebook.

“It, uhh… I know it’s not your usual style,” Jon said, his voice suddenly nervous. He was looking down at the notebook as he spoke, instead of at Martin. “Not… retro. But… I saw it and I thought of you.” He paused. “That tape, where you were talking to Simon Fairchild. He talked about the ‘cosmic scale,’ and how we’ve never even been alive on that time frame, and you said… what was it? You said, ‘I think our experience of the universe has value. Even if it disappears forever.’ And I just… that was… maybe the most… it was very… you. And there were other options, flowers or cursive writing, o-or… I don’t know, they all seemed so obvious, but this…”

Jon swallowed, and finally looked up at Martin. “I thought, after the Lonely, you might like a reminder that, you have value. That… that to me, you shine as bright as any star.” And then he flushed, and Martin knew it was for him, just as he now knew the flushes about tea all those years ago had also been for him.

Martin was gaping. Oh. Oh. Jon… loved him. Which he’d known, intellectually, but the emotional knowledge of it hit him suddenly, took his breath away. He knew it, all at once, in that “oh we could spend the rest of our lives together” way he’d never really thought he’d ever feel.

Jon had clearly misinterpreted the expression; he started stammering, “I-if… it it’s bad, I can… well, no, I can’t take it back, stupid, I should’ve just grabbed the one that had--”

Martin cut him off by reaching out to take the notebook from Jon and reached out with his other hand to cup the shorter man’s cheek. He smiled, and because he’d realized long ago how well Jon responded to physical touch, he leaned in to plant a soft kiss on his boyfriend’s forehead.

Then he pulled back to put the notebook aside on the counter and signed, “It’s perfect. Thank you.” A pause, and then, “I love you.”

Jon smiled, both speaking and signing, “I love you, too.”

And for once in his life, Martin knew that to be true, and trusted that knowledge. He was loved. He had been loved, and he would be loved for the rest of his life, whatever state his voice was in.

#the magnus archives #tma #jonmartin #jon sims #jonathan sims #jon the archivist #martin blackwood #tim stoker #sasha james #archives gang #otp: one way or another together #fanfic #my fanfic #ableism tw #jmart #canon tma fic

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respect-the-fae · 4 years

Text

Things that remind me of: Ares

Sorry it's been a few days, life has been kind of a bitch, but I'm back with a post for my patron, Ares! I love him so much! This is gonna be a long one, I'll warn you now.

Weaponry. All weaponry. Whether it be a sword, a bo staff, escrima sticks or even sharp words falling off a tongue and destroying what they are aimed at. All weapons of every nature are this and remind me of him.

Boxing. I box alot, it reminds me of him and helps me feel close to him. How warm I feel, the ache in my arms, the bruises that form across my hands, the sweat dripping down my forehead. It all feels like he's there guiding me, reminding me to keep my guard up, and to keep my thumb out of my fist so I don't shatter it.

Red candles.

Bloodied hands and bruises. The type you get when your sibling gets beat up by the bigger kids and you go to sort them out because as annoying as your little sibling is, no one (NO ONE) messes with them.

Pink gin. Trust me, pink gin might seem like a weird one, but I have seen my mate single handedly knock out 2 guys who were threatening a trans girl while on pink gin. Pink gin is the Elixir Of Protective Rage and no one can tell me otherwise. (Dw, the girl is safe and we walked her home. We got takeout on the way and i cried bc she gave me a chicken nugget. We're friends now.)

Hunger Games, Divergent, Maze Runner. All about destroying their awful governing systems and rising up. Very Ares.

Using dumbass as a term of affection. With the same amount of love that people usually use when calling someone sweetheart or darling.

BIG HERO 6.

The concept of egging someone's house.

Snakes.

Having long baths/showers to avoid dealing with your emotional issues. Idk, just screams him.

Loving your crush/lover/spouse so fucking much, genuinely wouldn't hesitate to kill for them if someone hurt them.

Courage, all types of courage. Speaking out about racism in a protest, leading a protest, telling your boss about the coworker that scares you and harassed you. Telling a teacher about your parents if they're abusive. Standing in front of a crowd and giving a speech. Attending rallies, going to Pride, telling your bigoted family to suck a dick when they're being rude about trans/coloured/gay people, posting that post you were debating to do or not, sending your script/novel/anthology/biography to your agent, selling your art. Loads more that my brain refuses to give me right now. They are all brave, courageous acts that Ares loves and is so proud of you for. He watches you swallow down the fear and he rewards you with that glow of good adrenaline afterwards. That's his way of sort of kissing you on the forehead and telling you he's proud.

Rescuing animals from shelters. Ares is definitely very passionate about Adopt Don't Shop.

The Enemies to Lovers trope in fanfic.

Comfort items. Items that make you feel put together and braver. Mine is my Angel (from Lilo and Stitch, the pink experiment, teddy bear I got to match the Stitch one my friend has), I barely ever let it go if I'm in the house.

Poppies.

Baseball bats. The game too, but mainly the bats.

Petty 'wars' with siblings or coworkers. Snatching lunches and snacks, leaving passive aggressive post it notes.

War. Conflict. Rage. Obviously. But also bravery. Courage. A thirst for justice.

Protection. Of all kinds.

Weighted blankets.

Podcasts. True crime, and fictional horror ones. The Magnus Archives reminds me of him, idk why. (FOR REAL THO, ITS SO FUCKING GOOD, GO LISTEN TO IT. I WOULD DIE FOR JON, ITS ON SPOTIFY.) (And YouTube too.)

Learning about your friend's special interests because they mentioned they don't feel able to talk about it for fear of annoying people. And damn if you're gonna let that happen, so you're up till 5am reading The Other Boleyn Girl by Philippa Gregory so you can talk to them about it, and give them a safe space to info dump and share their thoughts and feelings.

Geese. Yes they are bastards. But they are feathery, beautiful bastards.

Saying "because fuck you, that's why."

The "WHAT THE FUCK IS UP KYLE" vine.

"Thanks for checking in, I'm still a piece of g a r b a g e."

Self esteem issues. Bad mental health. PTSD, anxiety, depression, BPD, eating disorders. They're all battles, and he is with you through all of them. By your side, holding your hand, rubbing your back. He feels your pain and he is helping you move past it. He is there to remind you that spite is a perfectly fucking good reason to get better, because people suck and you will show all the people who hurt you that you will not break. That you will get up, every single fucking time. And he is with you for every single step. If you believe nothing else, believe that Ares loves you.

Getting back up. Never backing down.

Teenage rebellion. Wild hair. Hair dye. Breaking into parks at night, exploring abandoned buildings.

Bumps in people's noses where it's been broken and not set properly.

Donald Duck. That duck is ready to fight all the time and I love him.

The movie 'Red'. Its so amazing. (Also watch that, it's on Netflix, at least on the UK one).

WWE.

That's it, my Ares one. I think I rambled a bit but I am very tired so forgive me. Lemme know what you think!!

I love Ares so much, I probably wouldn't have made it to this point if I didn't have him. He is my patron and he protected me when I felt alone.

Next I'm doing Aphrodite!

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falling-forever-upwards · 3 years

Note

I AM RESPECTFULLY ASKING ABOUT WEB ROLESWAP AND JONATHAN SIMS REGARDING GENDER OMG (also op i love your art DEARLY ;-;-;)

jonathan sims, regarding gender

JONBINARY MY BELOVED okay seriously though agender Jon is my absolute Shit I love them so much. This is either gonna be a short multichapter fic or a series of oneshots where Jon looks at gender over the series and eventually realises they're transfem nonbinary and starts going by they/them pronouns. Major points include;

- Jonathan "zero gaydar" Sims in uni, who will absolutely respect your pronouns but was extremely sheltered and knows Nothing about the queer community

- Jon and (she/they nb) Georgie discussing gender during early S3

- Jon repressing said (lack of) gender when Elias tells him he isn't human

- Jon and (trans man) Martin discussing gender in the safehouse

- Closeted agender apocalypse Jon. They come out to Martin and Georgie and That's It.

- Post-canon where Jon goes to Therapy and starts to Transition and is generally having a fantastic life as an out agender person because Jon having a happy life is Extremely Important to me

web roleswap

*pulls out a megaphone* HELLO I LOVE ANNABELLE CANE and I wish we got more space to explore her character where her every thought wasn't simply a strand of the Web. So. What if Jon and Annabelle swapped paths? Jon joins an arachnophobia experiment in uni and subsequently becomes an avatar of the Web. Annabelle Cane becomes obsessed with the supernatural and eventually becomes the Archivist. I am simply fascinated by the dynamic Annabelle could have with the OG archival staff and I would DEARLY love to see her original personality shine through instead of the twisted weave the Web made of her. Also. That trope where the powerful creature falls in love with the first mortal to stand up to them? Web!Jon and Martin. The POTENTIAL.

#thank you so so much!!!#ask games #tma #coulson-is-an-avenger #ALSO annabelle is an ace lesbian which isn't relevant at all but I love her so now you know #jon sims re:gender is also completely canon compliant which is EXTREMELY important to me #.osfw tag

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ao3feed-bnha-rarepair · 2 years

Text

When Midoriya Decided to Take Over the World... in Meme Form

When Midoriya Decided To Take Over The World... In Meme Form by SnowBoo69

So far, Midoriya Izuku had created a Gen Z humor cult, and it was limited to UA staff/students and some pro heroes.

So now he decides to spread it further than just UA. Or even just Japan.

I mean- how hard is it to be the leader of a world-wide cult? It couldn't be that hard, right?

Aka; Midoriya Izuku literally does take over the world with the sole power of Gen Z humor and memes.

[This is part of a series, but you don't exactly need to read the others before this one]

Words: 3115, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Series: Part 5 of In Which Midoriya Izuku Is A Gen Z (In Spirit)

Fandoms: 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: Gen, M/M

Characters: Dekusquad (as a group), Shinsou Hitoshi, Midoriya Izuku, Eri, Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead, Class 1-A, Uraraka Ochako, Iida Tenya, Todoroki Shouto, Yamada Hizashi | Present Mic, Iida Tensei | Ingenium, Iida Tenya's Family, Kirishima Eijirou, Kaminari Denki, Jirou Kyouka, Aoyama Yuuga, Bakugou Katsuki, Shigaraki Tomura | Shimura Tenko, Toga Himiko, Bubaigawara Jin | Twice, Hatsume Mei, Yoichi | First One For All User, Ashido Mina

Relationships: Kaminari Denki/Kirishima Eijirou, Midoriya Izuku/Shinsou Hitoshi, Eri & Midoriya Izuku, Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead/Yamada Hizashi | Present Mic, Aoyama Yuuga & Midoriya Izuku, Dark Shadow & Jirou Kyouka & Midoriya Izuku & Shinsou Hitoshi & Tokoyami Fumikage, Class 1-A & Midoriya Izuku, Iida Tensei | Ingenium & Midoriya Izuku

Additional Tags: Shinsou Hitoshi Replaces Mineta Minoru, Mineta Minoru Doesn't Exist, Midoriya Izuku Is A Gen Z In Spirit, Midoriya Izuku is a Little Shit, Class 1-A Shenanigans, A Cult that isn't really a Cult, Midoriya Izuku Has One for All Quirk, a bit of;, One For All Quirk is Revealed, One For All Quirk Haunted by Past One For All Users' Ghosts, Chatting & Messaging, man I love chatfics, Trans Male Kaminari Denki, crackfic, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Fluff and Crack, Canon?, Idk who that is but they sound like a dumb extra, self; your bakugou kinnie is showing, TikTok, That's a new tag, how have I never found that one?, (sips earl gray tea agressively), Read this.

Read Here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/36988192

#AO3 Feed #FanFiction #AO3 Kirikami #♥#Kirikami #Shindeku #💎#⚡#⚣#R:T #A:Snow #Chat Fic #Fluff

4 notes · View notes

ao3feed-bakusquad · 2 years

Text

When Midoriya Decided to Take Over the World... in Meme Form

When Midoriya Decided To Take Over The World... In Meme Form by SnowBoo69

So far, Midoriya Izuku had created a Gen Z humor cult, and it was limited to UA staff/students and some pro heroes.

So now he decides to spread it further than just UA. Or even just Japan.

I mean- how hard is it to be the leader of a world-wide cult? It couldn't be that hard, right?

Aka; Midoriya Izuku literally does take over the world with the sole power of Gen Z humor and memes.

[This is part of a series, but you don't exactly need to read the others before this one]

Words: 3115, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Series: Part 5 of In Which Midoriya Izuku Is A Gen Z (In Spirit)

Fandoms: 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: Gen, M/M

Read Here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/36988192

#AO3 Feed #FanFiction #AO3 Kirikami #♥#Kirikami #Shindeku #Dekusquad #⚡#💎#⚣#R:T #A:Snow #Chat Fic #Fluff

2 notes · View notes

ao3feed-hitoshi-shinsou · 2 years

Text

When Midoriya Decided to Take Over the World... in Meme Form

When Midoriya Decided To Take Over The World... In Meme Form by SnowBoo69

So far, Midoriya Izuku had created a Gen Z humor cult, and it was limited to UA staff/students and some pro heroes.

So now he decides to spread it further than just UA. Or even just Japan.

I mean- how hard is it to be the leader of a world-wide cult? It couldn't be that hard, right?

Aka; Midoriya Izuku literally does take over the world with the sole power of Gen Z humor and memes.

[This is part of a series, but you don't exactly need to read the others before this one]

Words: 3115, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Series: Part 5 of In Which Midoriya Izuku Is A Gen Z (In Spirit)

Fandoms: 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: Gen, M/M

Read Here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/36988192

#AO3 Feed #FanFiction #AO3 Shindeku #♡#Shindeku #Kirikami #Dekusquad #⚣#R:T #A:Snow #Fluff

2 notes · View notes

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