#I made healthy muffins and this is the weird extra bit

[wri0thesley]

A Well Rounded Education (4): Equality Statement (Fem!Reader x Naoya Zenin, 7.5k)

series synopsis: you are a teacher’s aid to teacher Gojo Satoru, training to be able to take over your own class next year by shadowing and helping him out. gojo, unfortunately, does not make things easy for anybody.

chapter synopsis: you make the mistake of crossing naoya zenin at a sports festival and are forced to apologise. but as you well know by now, nothing ever seems to go to plan where any of your student’s fathers are concerned. 

NSFW. MINORS DNI. AFAB reader, fem pronouns. misogyny, weird power dynamics, hate-sex, piv sex, blowjobs. naoya.  

(a well rounded education m.list and navigation)   ♡  (jujutsu kaisen masterlist)

1.

The Saturday morning that your first ever undokai is scheduled for dawns bright and early, and you can’t help the little thrill that goes through you at the golden fingers of dawn lighting up your room. There’d been talk of the weekend bringing rain, and things needing to be rescheduled – but it’s perfect weather, as you put on a comfortable tank top and shorts instead of your neat pencil skirt and suit jacket combination.

This will be your first event of the kind, and you’re excited about it. The kids in the class have been practising all of their cheers and routines and the like constantly, whilst the ones involved in the competitive sports have been cheering one another on and snatching time when they can to race against one another in preparation. It’s been nice to see all of the camaraderie between them – even some of the quieter ones have seemed to come a little bit out of their shell, with so much team spirit in the air.

Well. Most of them have. You’ve noticed Junpei still hanging back, face sad, uncomfortable when other boys crowd him and tug him off to who knows where – probably to get him involved in their own practises or rehearsals.

It’s been long and hard preparing for it, but even Gojo has been focused on something for once.

“There’s just something about events like this!” Gojo chirped to you, once, as he’d held up a megaphone he did not really need and called his class back into formation in front of him. “You know! The joy of youth! I want them to have the best time possible! They deserve it.”

Seeing Gojo’s mischievous eyes sparkle with determination instead of humour had made you smile at him, and you’d felt a strange pull in your chest when he’d smiled back, needing to pull your gaze away to ask Yuuji to stop poking Megumi in the back to get him to look at a weird caterpillar he’d found on the ground.

As a junior high undokai, things are a little more competitive than they might be if this were an elementary school or even a middle school event, but there’s still a big emphasis on the teamwork and the cheering on portion of the day. You’ve watched and applauded what feels like a hundred practises for the cheering section, confiscating whistles when they’re sneakily blown whilst you’re trying to teach a mathematics lesson.

Still, you’re not surprised to see that Gojo’s class have been corralled into his classroom whilst your vivacious teacher and mentor gives them a rallying encouragement that seems to contain a lot of bigging up the fact that they are, in fact, his class.

“I thought the pep talk was for them,” you say, as heads turn to you when you walk into the room. It’s strange to see all of the faces dressed in their gym uniforms instead of their school uniforms – and it’s even stranger to be wearing an approximation of it yourself.

“You look nice!” Yuji pipes up, and you smile at him.

“It is for them,” Gojo brings a hand to his sunglasses to push them down a little, giving you a charming smile and the full force of the galaxies swirling in his eyes. “I’m just reminding them that as Satoru Gojo’s class, of course they’re going to do well! We’re going to be the strongest, and win!” He looks at all of them – bright shining faces turned to him, all lit up with the excitement of competition. There’s something in him that you rarely see right now – something encouraging and bright and compassionate. He genuinely seems to want them to do well. “I believe in all of you!”

The warmth spreading through your chest at Gojo’s words is a new experience. You’re far more used to exasperation and frustration where he’s concerned.

But now, you can’t help the infectious smiles of the children and the determination in their face to do well enough for everyone to be proud of. Maybe Gojo isn’t so bad after all, you think, as he bids the children in the class farewell and tells them to go and join everyone else outside in preparation for the day’s events.

“What d’you think?” He asks you, as Junpei leaves the room, still dragging his feet a little. You can’t blame him. He’s involved in the cheering section, as so many of the less athletic kids are, but the undokai is not optional and you think that Junpei is the kind of boy who hates being looked at. “Are we gonna win?”

“I don’t think that’s quite the point of the exercise,” you say, eventually. “We’re supposed to be fostering team spirit and co-operation--”

“Yeah,” Gojo wrinkles his nose and grins. “But we’re still gonna win, right?”

You sigh.

“With Yuji and Maki? Probably. But that’s not the point!”

Gojo stands up and stretches his arms out above him. He’s in a shirt that clings tight to a surprisingly muscled abdomen,  and dark grey sweatpants. He’s never been the ‘formal wear’ kind of teacher, but it’s still jarring to see him dressed so casually – and even more jarring to realise that he’s handsome, despite the fact you’ve spent most of the last few months rolling your eyes and sighing and cursing the world that you’ve ended up having to endure Satoru Gojo so much.

“I know, I know – but it’s nice to think about, right?” His grin is infectious. “Did you have time to have breakfast this morning? I know it’s an earlier start than usual, I’ve got a spare blueberry muffin in my bag – hope it didn’t get crushed too badly by my stretches--”

“I’m fine,” you tell him, already dreading the idea of him pressing a crumbled muffin into your hand. “I had a healthy, nutritious breakfast.”

“So did I!” He says, hotly. “The blueberry muffin had fruit in it, croissants are glazed with egg so that’s protein, and I had a slice of honey on toast too just because I felt like I’d have to keep my energy up today--”

You are constantly impressed by how he manages to consume all of this sugar without going into overdrive – then again, maybe that does explain a lot about him.

“I don’t really know what I’m supposed to be doing today,” you admit to him. “I mean, I know I’m here to cheer on the kids and stuff, but I don’t know what my role’s supposed to be--”

“Oh!” He comes around and begins to walk out of the classroom, beckoning you to follow him. “Didn’t I tell you? They told me ages ago--” He did not tell you. You don’t know why you find this a surprise. “You’re gonna be in charge of the refreshments table for the first half of the morning – Yuta, you know, the other teacher’s aid, he’ll relieve you for the second half so you can cheer us on and help me a bit. Not that I’ll need it! It’s not a hard job, just be polite to anyone who needs to use it, most of ‘em bring their own lunches and snacks but we find that it’s always good to have a table with some extras – especially when it’s so hot outside!”

“You didn’t,” you say, but you follow him anyway. You have learnt by now that the most you’ll get from Gojo is a shrug and an airy ‘sorry’. And you suppose, in the grand scheme of things, this isn’t so bad. It’s not like you needed to have time to stop and prepare yourself to give people a polite smile and ask them if they’d like you to pour them a glass of water.

The two of you spill out into the grounds of the school, which is already full of excited students and proud parents. You recognise a few of them – your face heats up as you see Nanami forcibly pressing a bottle of sunscreen into Yuji’s hands, and as the two of you walk past Geto who is tying back Mimiko and Nanako’s hair, ensuring the team hats that the students are all wearing sit neatly on their heads.

There’s a man stood with Maki and Mai who you assume is their father; a blond with a sneering face and a presence that makes you feel like you shouldn’t even be looking at him. Maki has her arms crossed, her chin jutting forward – the two of them are clearly involved in some kind of argument. Even as you watch, some other men are walking towards him with their heads bowed, like he’s something special.

You vaguely recall that you’ve heard some tell about the Zenins being a very rich, very old, very respected family. Judging from the way he carries himself and the way people keep looking at him, you think that must be it.

“Is that Maki and Mai’s dad?” You ask, curiously, as you’re pushed past him towards a collection of tables beneath a bright yellow awning. Gojo makes a noise that sounds like a sigh.

“Yep,” he says, sounding short. There’s some kind of history there, you think. “That’s Naoya Zenin. Better for you to avoid him, if you can – he’s not the kind of guy you want to cross, y’know?”

“But Maki’s--”

“Absolutely nothing like him,” Gojo deposits you in front of a table heaped with water jugs, ice cubes and plastic cups. “Really.”

You wrinkle your nose as you look around. At least everyone else seems happy – excited, buzzing with energy and the promise of an exciting day ahead. You can’t help but worry about Maki’s expression, though. She had looked like her and her father were having an argument that had been going on for months--

Gojo waves at you as he jogs across the field, moving surprisingly quickly for a man who ate nothing but sugar for his breakfast. You watch him go, unable to stop a smile forming on your face as he pauses by Maki and Mai. He slaps a hand onto Maki’s shoulder and says something with a bright grin that she seems to respond to with a smile, turning to follow him. Her father’s eyes narrow, as he spits something that even you can work out is venomous at the retreating backs of one of his daughters. He sighs as he says something else to Mai, a smile almost tugging at the corners of his mouth as his attention shifts back to her.

It’s clear who the golden child is there, then.

You try and shake your thoughts away from Naoya Zenin and his two girls and concentrate on the place that you’ve been given, reminding yourself that even if it doesn’t seem like a big role, you all have to work hard to make sure that today is a success. Your students have been practising and getting excited for this event for weeks, and you want all of the parents to be as proud of their students as you are.

You have a good view from the refreshments table of everything that’s going on. You watch a few of the races, a few cheering displays from the other classes to the beat of the drums – and when kids run up to you, sweaty and panting, you hand them a plastic cup full of cool water and they thank you as if you harvested it from a spring yourself instead of merely pouring it out.

Some parents ask you politely who you are, and you tell them with a smile and a bright look, hoping that you being friendly and polite will get back to other people. A few of them exchange looks when they hear that you’re attached to Gojo’s class; the man has a reputation that follows him everywhere. You give out oranges and other pieces of fruit to some of the students who need an extra sugar boost, or the ones who have a bandage wrapped around their knee or grazes from falls that have recently been cleaned. Shoko is busy today, and you often see her direct these injured children to you as a rest stop, and so their parents can find them easily.

You pause for a moment as the names are called for a relay race, and you hear Maki and Mai being summoned. This is the first race that they’re taking part in – if their team wins this one, they’ll qualify for the final this afternoon. You can see Gojo lifting his arms and hollering and hear his loud, excited voice even with all of the other people crowding into the school grounds to watch, and despite yourself you feel a smile spread over your face.

You’re still smiling when you hear a scoff.

You turn around to see what the fuss is – only to see Naoya Zenin, holding a plastic cup of water as if it’s offended him mortally. Seeing you looking at him, his lip curls.

“Is this tap water?” He asks you. He has a curious accent; slow, drawling, and clearly much superior to your own. It’s not an accent that Maki and Mai have inherited – and as he raises one eyebrow, the sun catching the rings in his ears, you find yourself glad of it. “Well?”

“I think so,” you say. You are on edge. He peers into it, and sighs.

“Don’t you have anything better? Cell-gen or Tennensui or even I LOHAS, at least?” He speaks to you slowly, like you’re a child, or as if he’s not sure whether a peasant like you would even know the names of any bottled water brands. You can’t stand being talked down to, and you curl your hand into a fist as you say, trying to keep yourself polite;

“I’m sorry, Sir. There’s just this.”

“You’d think with the money pumped in-- fine.” He sighs, taking a sip of the water, his face scrunching in displeasure at – you don’t know. The disgusting taste of tap water, you suppose. You try not to look at the bob of his throat as he swallows. Everything about this man seems to be unpleasant except the way he looks.

You take your own cup of water, just to quell some of the dryness that has made itself known in your throat at interacting with him.

The cheering gets a little quieter, and you turn to see what’s happened. As it turns out, all that’s actually happened is Gojo has stopped putting forth his own shouts to the fray, his eyes focussed on you and Naoya, a look that you think is almost sympathy spread across his face. You see that the race is about to begin, and you don’t look at Naoya as you say;

“You’re Maki and Mai’s father, aren’t you? Their first race is about to start. Maki’s been training really hard, I think she’ll pip it for us—”

A dark presence at your shoulder, and a sneering, uppity drawl.

“I gather you’re the teaching aid I’ve been hearing so much about from everyone.” he says. It does not sound like a compliment. “Maki has really found you . . . encouraging.” He says it like it’s a dirty word.

You force yourself to remain cheerful, and not ask him what the fuck his problem is.

“Maki’s really talented,” you say. “Mai’s fast, too – they’re both really good representatives for the class--”

Naoya snorts.

“They should be on the sidelines,” he says, coolly. “Supporting the men. Not running. Not getting all sweaty and hot and messing up their hair and their pretty faces.” He shakes his head. “It’s unwomanly, and if Maki listened to a word I’d said, she wouldn’t be doing it.”

“Mai is doing it too,” you point out, hating yourself for getting involved in this. But you just can’t let him stand there and be such an asshole, spewing his narrow-minded ideas when there are impressionable girls around.

“Mai’s already agreed that if they win this race, she’ll ask one of the boys to switch in for her. I’ve sorted it with the principal. It’s not ladylike for her to do any more than she has to. She’s not going to get a husband in good standing based on her athletic prowess--”

Oh, this is too far. You’re seething, though you’re trying to keep your respectable face on. You’re at work, you’re at work, you’re at work--

“Perhaps there are some other things they consider more important than finding a husband, at the age of twelve?”

Naoya’s laugh is nasty, mocking – and you hate that there’s something in it that sends a curl of heat right through you, blooming between your thighs.

“The younger a girl learns her place,” he says, his voice very slow. “The better it is and easier it is for a man to be assured she’ll do her duties. I don’t see a ring on your finger, Miss – I’d hate for them to end up working some dead-end little job just because they don’t have anyone to cook and clean for--”

Nope.

You can’t take it any longer.

You turn and you throw the cup of ‘shitty tap water’ in your hand right over Naoya Zenin’s stupid, smug, asshole face.

2.

Gojo, for what you think must be one of the first time in his life, looks uncomfortable.

“I didn’t know you were going to throw water on him,” he tries to say, weakly. “Look, we all hate him, but . . . ugh. This is so frustrating! I hate all of this bureaucracy bullshit--”

It turns out that Naoya Zenin’s family – and Naoya Zenin himself – donate rather a lot of money to the school for such functions as the one you’re all currently attending. It turns out that nobody wants to piss off the bank-roll that’s keeping their gym maintained, their events fancy and expensive, the library well-stocked – and you get that! You really do! You know that school budgets are overstretched already, and that donors like the Zenin family are something to be gently courted and kept around for as long as humanly possible.

You just wish that the big donor for this school was anybody else.

“I didn’t know all of this,” you say, reasonably. “I know I shouldn’t have thrown a drink over him, but Mr. Gojo--”

“How many times? You can call me Satoru.”

“If you’d heard the way he was talking--”

“Oh, believe me,” Gojo’s full lips press into a thin line. “I know exactly what Naoya Zenin’s modus operandi is. Let me guess: he was all on at you about how Maki’s not a proper young lady, how the boys should be doing the hard work, how he’s trying to make sure his daughters get a proper start and a rich husband – ugh.” Gojo tugs at his shirt, clearly frustrated. “I’ve had it way too much.”

“Yeah,” you say. You find yourself sighing too.

“The Vice Principal’s in his back pocket,” Gojo says, taking a seat on top of the desk that you’re currently sat behind, cooling off some of your anger – Principal Masamichi had sent you inside to calm you down, and Naoya himself had been escorted into the building by Vice Principal Gakuganji to dry off, all the while saying placating things to calm down the school’s meal ticket. “They want you to apologise to him.”

“I suppose I should,” you say miserably. “But it’s gonna feel like swallowing gravel.”

“I certainly don’t blame you,” Gojo says, with a smile, trying to cheer you up. “Hell, I know some of the other staff members have been dying to do it--”

“Ugh,” you bury your face in your hands. “This is a horrible impression in front of the whole school.”

He pats you gently on the shoulder.

“Hey,” he says, “when this is all over, I’ll take you out for ice cream. I know the best places in the city, and they all know me too!”

You summon a smile for him. He’s not so bad, really – sure, he’s chaotic and thinks too highly of himself for his own good, but . . . at least he’s nothing like Naoya. You stand up and pull down your shorts, wriggling your tank top down to cover you as much as you possibly can. You feel a bit exposed, not in heels and stockings and a blouse.

“I should get this over with, then.”

Gojo has too much to do back on the field to escort you to Naoya himself, so he tells you that Naoya’s in the Vice Principal’s office and gives you another friendly squeeze on the shoulder.

“Good luck,” he tells you. “Remember: ice cream at the end of this!”

“Ice cream at the end of this,” you repeat, as you watch him jog out of the corridor. You’re almost tempted to tell him off for running in the halls – Gojo moves so fast that sometimes you lose track of him entirely – but you push back the urge. Gojo is being decent today. You’re thankful to him for sitting with you and helping you calm – and also, evidently, for being one of the things that keeps Maki’s fighting spirit inflamed.

You stand there for a moment, in front of the door to the office, balling up your courage tight and hot in your stomach. You do not want to have to apologise to Naoya, but you know it’s for the best. The sooner you can put this sorry incident behind you and try and avoid Naoya at every single function from herein, the better – so you tap hard on the door and wait until you hear his slow, drawling voice.

“You can come in.”

At first, you’re surprised to see that he’s alone in there – sitting in front of the desk in a comfortable chair, clearly at ease with everything. His arms are sprawled over the back of it, his legs wide apart. You chastise yourself for thinking it immediately – of course the vice principal is busy right now, of course he trusts someone as well-known to the school as Naoya to be alone in his office.

It’s hard not to think about every other time you’ve found yourself alone with the parents of your students, though. A heat crawls onto your face at the very thought of it. You find Naoya repellent, disgusting – but then again, he’s also (and you’re not being glib about it) handsome. You’d be lying if you’d said you sometimes hadn’t ignored a man’s personality for a night in favour of a face and a body that had drawn you in.

Not now.

You close the door behind you, clasping your hands together so you don’t clench your fists, and bow your head so that Naoya can’t tell that you’re grinding your teeth.

“I’m sorry for letting my emotions get the better of me, Sir,” you say, though it really does feel like you are gnashing ice to get the words out. “I should have been more polite. I can assure you it won’t happen again.”

“Mmm,” Naoya says, and you peek up at him through your lashes to see that he’s clearly enjoying having you at his mercy, his lips tilted into a smirk. His hair is still a little wet at the ends, but all that you throwing the water over him seems to have actually done is made his shirt cling tight to a surprisingly chiselled chest and stomach. Asshole. Fuck him. “Yes. I should hope not.”

You straighten yourself up, still a little stiff.

“I hope you can forgive me,” you say. “I . . . I am still learning my place in the establishment.”

He laughs, low and soft.

“Your place?” He asks, the words dangerously sweet on his tongue. “Yes. I can see you still need some help on that one.”

His eyes crawl over you slowly, dragging up and down the length of you, lingering over where your shorts cling to your hips and the tank top hugs your chest. You resist the urge to shift – you don’t want to let him know that he’s making you uncomfortable. You know, though, that he can sense that you have gone hot and prickly all over. He has that smug air; the one men who know what they do to people always seem to have cultivated. The knowledge that they are good-looking.

You suppose for Naoya, it’s the heady combination of knowing he is good-looking and powerful and rich, and you breathe through the force of all of his attention concentrated on you.

“Seeing as you’re still . . . new to all of this,” he says, bringing an arm forward to tap his long fingers on the desk. “And you did apologise prettily, I suppose I can forgive this transgression – just this once, darling.”

The pet name crawls up your spine like ice. He’s still staring at you, enjoying the view like you’re a piece of meat on a market stall he’s considering purchasing.

“Th-thank you, Sir,” you say, hating yourself a little bit but hating him all the more.

“You know,” he says. “You’re not exactly bad-looking.” He stands, rising to his full height, stretching out, frustratingly comfortable in this environment when you feel like a deer who’s about to turn tail and flee at any moment. “You’d be much better off at home raising children than here.” He wrinkles his nose. “Working for a living.” The way that he says the words makes it clear that he considers this a task far beneath the likes of him.

He’s moving towards you now, and your breath seems to get stuck in your throat as he’s suddenly in front of you, stalking elegantly. You want to snap back something about how you’d rather work for a living than have to rely on the whims of a man, much less a man like him – but as he grabs your chin to tilt it up to the light, you find that the words seem to die in your throat.

“Hmm,” he says. “Not bad at all.” He makes an approving noise that sends a flutter right through you, making you dully aware of a pounding ache between your thighs. He leans a little further in, until he’s so close that you can see the pale colours dancing in his eyes, the way the light hits his high cheekbones. “You’re trembling with rage, you know. It’s adorable.”

“You’re very easy to be angry at,” you half-breathe, half-hiss, and Naoya’s smirk is going to be burnt into your memory forever and ever.

“If you’re so angry,” he murmurs, “I can certainly think of a way I wouldn’t mind helping you work out your aggression.”

You shouldn’t do it. But your heart is beating a frantic rhythm against your ribcage and your breath is short, and part of you wants to wrestle him to the ground and dominate him so that he can have a taste of his own medicine. You grab a handful of his hair and drag him down into a bruising kiss.

3.

Oh, and he kisses back. His mouth is soft against yours, but the kiss itself is rough – both of your tongues fighting for dominance, both of you trying to nip at one another’s bottom lip and seize the victory. You’re practically shoved backwards so that your ass catches the edge of the Vice Principal’s desk, even as you tug hard on Naoya’s hair to tell him that you’re not going to be overpowered by him so easily. You feel the feral curve of his grin as he pulls back just enough to whisper;

“Oh? You really think you’re going to get the better of me? You’re cute--” and then you push his shoulders hard, and he stumbles and falls back onto the chair he started this whole escapade sat in. You reach down to tug off your shirt, dropping it onto the floor beside you – Naoya looks for a moment like he’s going to stand back up and resume trying to wrest back the situation into his favour, but as he sees the slight bounce of your breasts in your bra he seems to decide it would be more interesting and beneficial for him to stay exactly where he is and watch you disrobe.

So you do, wriggling your shorts down past your hips – he lets out a low groan at that, as you stand before him in nothing but your underwear with your fists clenched on your hips.

You feel surprisingly powerful like this. It definitely makes a difference from all of the other ways you’ve felt when you’ve been alone with somebody’s father--

“Take off your shirt,” you tell him, and you’re almost surprised at the imperious tone in your own voice. “It’s your turn--”

He raises an eyebrow at you, but he does as you ask. Long fingers curling around the hem of his shirt, taking his sweet time pulling it off his body – and yes, it’s a nice one. Nice, too, are his thighs as he undoes his trousers that probably cost more than you make in a year and pushes them down, sitting before you in nothing but his equally as expensive-looking underwear – an impressive looking bulge outline pressed against the fabric. Even as he looks at you, he takes hold of himself through it and squeezes it, his grin crooked.

Your body does a throb of need.

“Oh,” you say, feigning surprise. “I didn’t realise you were so needy already--”

“Like you’re not dripping,” he says sharply, his eyes zeroing in on the space between your thighs. “Don’t flatter yourself. I can see the damp patch from here.”

“Who’s to say that’s for you?” You walk towards him. You can’t help but feel powerful and in control at how his eyes follow you with rapt attention, how his tongue darts out to swipe across his bottom lip as he drinks in your form in front of him.

“Please,” he says. “As if there’s anyone here more deserving.”

He reaches forward and his hands settle on your hips, dragging you closer to him – hot fingertips brushing your waist, the bare skin beneath your bra before he’s unclipping that too and your breasts are bare. He breathes in deeply.

“Pity,” he says, though his voice is thick with his own arousal. “You’re such a cute little thing, if only you didn’t open your mouth--”

“I’m sure you wouldn’t mind me opening my mouth to do something else,” you breathe, and you reach down to ghost your fingers over his cock through the tent in his underwear. He hisses through his teeth, his eyes half-lidded.

“Don’t just say it, princess,” he says. “If you’re going to run your mouth, the least you could do is make it do something useful--”

“I’d rather die than get on my knees for you.” Your mouth is very close to his neck – to punctuate the statement, you give his earlobe a tug with your teeth, and he practically groans. You’re almost straddling him on the chair, and you do not miss, either, the twitch that his cock seems to give at the tug.

It seems like for somebody who really wants to be in control, and wants women to know their place so badly, Naoya actually is rather enjoying somebody giving him a taste of his own medicine.

He grabs your underwear and pulls it down, clicking his tongue as it bunches about your knees.

“Just give into what your body wants,” he says, all saccharine sweetness in that slow, deep voice. “You’ve made a mess.”

You know you have. You can feel slick when your thighs press too close together, hot and wet between your legs. You really are practically dripping. But it’s not just from Naoya, you don’t think – it’s from the sudden power you’re feeling, the rush of being an equal participant in everything, in feeling like you have the upper hand. And not a small part, you think, is because of the adrenaline that’s coursing through your veins at the thought of putting Naoya Zenin in his place. You tip your head to the side innocently.

“What about you?” You ask, with a mean shade to the pitch of your voice. “You’re so hard it’s a wonder you’re not in pain--”

He grabs a hank of your hair with one hand whilst spreading your legs further with the other, so strong that the breath’s knocked out of you. The tip of his finger skims the outer lips of your sex, gathering your slick arousal on the pad as he growls;

“I’m still a man, darling. I see a pretty cunt to fuck and a pair of nice tits and I want to bury myself into it until the bitch remembers her place--”

“Good luck,” you breathe. “I think you’ll be the one remembering his place, here.”

He laughs breathlessly.

“Oh,” he purrs. “You’re going to be singing a different song when you’re begging me to fuck you harder.”

You give him a smile with your teeth bared; the challenge is obvious. It’s a smile that says ‘we’ll see’, even as you both tug at his underwear to pull it down and reveal what he’s been hiding beneath it.

You don’t want to admit that he’s got a pretty cock, but he has. He’s not the biggest you’ve seen, but it’s still impressive; a slight curve giving it an elegant angle that you realise with a clench will hit you exactly in the right spot when you take it inside of you.

He’s slick with his own pre-come, bubbling from the reddened slit – and as you shift forward and trap it between your thighs, he groans aloud again.

“That’s right,” he grunts, as the tip catches on your entrance and you begin to sink down upon it. “This is what you were made for, princess--”

“What?” You pant. “That would be disappointing. You barely fill me up--”

He grabs you and pulls you into another kiss as you finish off sheathing his cock inside of you – perhaps to save his pride, perhaps to muffle the noise that comes out of him, transferred into your mouth instead of his own. Whichever it is, you hate that you were right about the angle of his cock – you can feel it pressing snugly against the spongy G-spot even now, threatening you with a better time than you’d like to have.

You break the kiss to pull yourself off of him and sink back down, forcibly taking the lead and setting your own pace. You know it’s fast, you know it’s greedy – but fuck, if you aren’t boiling over with need.

You splay your hands across his shoulders, nails digging into his skin with little care to how you might mark him. You need him for leverage, as you continue to bounce up and down on his cock. Naoya tips his head back and groans, enjoying the feeling, before he remembers that you two are engaged in a battle of wits and attempts to get the better of you once more.

“I-is that,” he groans, coming to cling onto your waist and force you down on him with even more strength, helping you along in the too-fast rhythm of your thrusts and bounces. “The best you’ve got?”

“Come on,” you say breathlessly, as his cock continues to stroke that spot. You can hear the sounds of him sliding in and out of you, shamefully loud – too, you can hear the sounds of your skin slapping against one another, echoing and mixing with the breathless pants and the attempts to trade barbed insults. “Y-you’re making me do all the work?”

“Fucking pity you’ve got such a nice cunt,” Naoya snarls, his hips flexing, somehow managing to hit you deeper even as you’re bouncing on the balls of your feet and straddling him on the chair. His words are starting to sound very far away. “You should be in my fucking bed, keeping it warm, better off than wasting away here--”

Both of you are running your mouths, overwhelmed by how close one another’s bodies are and the intense heat radiating from you. There’s a frisson of electricity in the air, showering sparks, as the two of you continue to snatch words in between moans and groans and pants and whimpers--

“You’re pathetic--”

“You’re so fucking tight, I shouldn’t be surprised when you’re such a bitch--”

“F-fuck, harder, c-can’t you even keep the momentum going? You’re weak--”

“Baby girl, you’re fucking shaking – you gonna come first? Women are so predictable--”

You can feel your release hovering on the edge of your vision, blurring it as your eyes squeeze shut and you feel tears threatening to roll down your cheeks. There’s a heat inside of you that’s close to overspilling – and as you come down on him particularly hard, the head of his cock rolls over your g-spot just right, and you feel a dam inside of you break as your nails dig hard enough into his shoulders to draw blood. You bury your face into his neck so he doesn’t get the satisfaction of hearing you cry out his name, teeth worrying into his neck to leave a love-bite reminder of exactly what transpired between you two in the Vice Principal’s office.

You feel yourself twitch and tighten around him as your orgasm rocks your body, heat running through you like veins of marble. You can’t breathe – all you can do is bite, your hips chasing the final aftershocks.

Naoya is still hard inside of you as you lift yourself off him, letting his cock slip out of you as easily as butter. His own hands clench around your hips.

“Where the fuck do you think you’re going?” He asks, his voice rough and hungry. Despite that, though, you can hear the thread of some other emotion sewn in to them – and with a shiver of delight, you realise it’s neediness. He’s been left wanting, and you’ve been handed all of the cards. “I haven’t finished.”

“And you won’t finish inside me,” you snap at him, enjoying the longing in his voice. “Ask me very nicely and I’ll finish you off with my hand.”

“Mouth,” he demands – and he grabs your cheeks, squishing them, pulling you down and reminding you of all of the power that he has even though it’s your body that’s got the advantage of the high ground. “You don’t really think I’m going to be satisfied with your hand, princess--”

“You don’t deserve it,” you spit at him, but you sink to your knees anyway.

You’re not entirely lacking in manners. You suppose you did get to come. It would be rude to just leave him like this. Especially when the whole reason you’d ended up in this office in the first place was to apologise to him politely.

“This is the perfect position for you,” he sneers, as you open your mouth and envelope the head of his cock within it. You can taste yourself on his shaft. “Fuck, that’s right – put your mouth to good use for once--”

You give him a mean, slow lick along the slit of his cock head that makes him groan in the back of his throat. He wraps his hand around the back of your neck, fingers digging into the nape so he can control you at least a little bit, pushing you a touch too far so you almost choke. You pull off it, drooling.

“Choke me again and I’ll bite,” you snarl, and he pats your cheek like you’re an obedient dog.

“You wouldn’t dare,” he says – and you narrow your eyes at him in a way that says ‘try me’ before you return to sucking at him, hollowing your cheeks. You want to do a good job. A part of you wants to make him come so hard that he regrets being an asshole to you, even though you know that’s ridiculous and not going to happen.

Still. You’re not going to back down from a challenge, so you use your tongue to play along as much of his cock as you can.

“Fuck,” Naoya breathes. “Good . . . good fuckin’ girl—”

You’ve been hearing that low, polite drawl swear and curse for what seems like hours, but that one sends another pulse of heat through you – at your heart, you can’t argue that you love being praised. You whimper against his cock, glad that the fast pace you’ve managed to establish and the wet noises of your mouth around him muffle the noise so Naoya can’t dangle it over your head.

The hand on the nape of your neck jerks, so that you’re forced to look up at him and meet his eyes proper. His hips are slamming to meet your bobs now, the noise of him fucking your mouth filling the room. His teeth dig into his bottom lip and you feel him twitch, his voice pitching--

Salt coats your tongue as he fills your mouth.

But he doesn’t let himself finish there.

He pulls out, and he pumps his cock himself two, three times – coaxing out the other ropes of come, that hit your neck and chest and breasts hot and white and glistening. You’re too surprised by it to do anything – you’d expected him to keep your mouth on him, make you swallow down everything he gave you. He seems the kind of guy who gets off on that sort of thing--

But instead, he’s sighing, relaxing back into the chair as he looks at you with lazy eyes.

“You look cute like that,” he says, his voice low and sated. “I should take a picture.”

“Fuck you,” you breathe, getting off your knees. You are so fucking thankful for the box of tissues on the Vice Principal’s desk, as you reach across and grab some to dab at yourself so you’re not sticky and disgusting for any longer than necessary.

If you leave them in his pedal waste-bin, you hope that the cleaning crew will dispose of them before the Vice Principal is even aware that they’re there. Your lip curls as you wipe your mouth. You wish you had a mint – or at least a glass of water. Even tap water would do.

For what it’s worth, Naoya seems a little agitated as he puts himself to rights too. Evidently he was not expecting you to fight back so much – he places a finger on his shoulders and scowls when he sees that you made him bleed.

“I should sue you for assault,” he says. You tap your own body, at the curve of your hips and waist.

“I’m going to bruise,” you tell him. “So I guess it would be self-defence.”

“You’re too smart for your own good,” he tells you, with narrowed eyes – and you give him another smile, one that is clearly fake, as you pull your tank top and shorts back on and re-tie your shoes.

You’re surprised as you go to leave the room and he sets a hand on the small of your back in a mocking echo of polite manners. As the two of you walk down the corridor towards the exit, he does not remove it. To the assembled crowds, you hope it will look entirely innocent – like the two of you have merely had a little chat and come to an agreement instead of heatedly fucking one another’s brains out.

You blink as you emerge out into the light, your eyes taking a moment to adjust. You see Principal Masamichi give you a sympathetic smile – and there’s Gojo, immediately charging towards you like an overprotective bear. He slows down as he sees the way that Naoya is still touching you.

“I hope everything’s alright,” he says, sounding stiffer and more formal than you usually hear. Naoya’s smile towards him is cold.

“Everything’s fine,” he says, “Perfect. You apologised beautifully, didn’t you, Miss?” Naoya looks down his nose at you, a conceited smile on his mouth. “I’ve decided to overlook this little transgression.” He leaves a pause, and you swallow as you realise what he’s waiting for.

“Thank you so much, Mr Zenin, Sir,” you say. Again, it feels like you have to force the words out through a mouthful of marbles – but they make it out of your mouth.

“Oh, don’t be so formal, Miss,” he smirks. “You can call me Naoya. I look forward to seeing you again – soon, I hope.”

“You’re just in time,” Gojo says coldly. “Maki just won the final race of the day for our team.”

Naoya’s gaze is sharp as he looks at him. His lip curls. You can tell that both of them want to do something – maybe have an out-and-out fist fight on the field. But Naoya manages to get a grip (you’re glad about it; you’re not entirely sure whether Gojo would have been able to hold back) and turns on his heel to stalk away.

He does give your ass one last squeeze, though, that you desperately hope that Gojo doesn’t notice.

Gojo’s shoulders stay set, his chin thrust proudly forward, until Naoya has been swallowed up by the crowd at large – and then, he turns to you. For the first time, you see his normally humorous eyebrows draw in with worry.

“You look upset,” he says. “Sweaty. You smell terrible. Do you need a minute?”

Your shoulders fall. Gojo gives you a sympathetic pat on the back.

“It’s a rite of passage to deal with someone from the Zenin family,” he says. “You’re just unlucky it happened to actually be Naoya today. He usually sends an underling or an uncle or someone to pretend to care about the girls.”

Wow. You sure hope the rite of passage has gone differently for everyone else.

“Why d’you think he came here today, then?” You ask Gojo. He looks at you strangely, a spark of something you can’t quite read in his eyes.

“Well,” he says, “he’s related to the Fushiguros, you know. I heard he and Megumi’s father have met up recently for drinks – it ended in a fight, of course, it always does. But maybe he expected Megumi’s dad to be here too?” He shrugs. “He can never resist an opportunity to relish over someone in his family winning, even if he doesn’t want Maki doing anything unladylike. Megumi’s dad isn’t here, though, so looks like that backfired on him--”

Your face feels like it’s on fire as you think about Megumi’s father fucking you on Gojo’s desk – and the lingering way that Naoya had said that he’d heard so much about you from everyone.

#naoya zenin x reader #naoya x reader #naoya x you #naoya smut #naoya zenin smut #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk x you #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x you #jjk smut #jujutsu kaisen smut #not sfw #afab reader #fem pronouns #jjk teacher aid au #jjk writing #writing

[ohbeaby]

So food in Devildom is clearly VERY different from human food in terms on ingredients. We also know that there is some form of rotation in the House of Lamentation for cooking duty, I think this must apply to breakfast too maybe?

Anyway I just wanted to muse about the brothers thoughts on humans foods. This is all food from around my area so please forgive me if what I’m writing here doesn’t match up with what you typically eat! I’d be more than happy to research other cultures foods and do a similar comparison if asked!

Lucifer:

Breakfast: This man is very confused by pancakes. It resembles a pastry more than a meal and is covered in syrup? Which is just a bunch of sugar too? Is this healthy? No...can’t possibly be. This meal has confirmed for him that humans have no clue what they are doing and how can they possibly still be alive when they start the day off with SUGAR!

Dinner: Well...it’s definitely unique. He’s pretty picky about what he’ll tolerate eating and isn’t too sure what he’s supposed to do about a taco. He’s pretty much just going to copy whatever the human is doing and then get confused when he is informed that he can just pick and choose what goes into the taco. There’s no set recipe? You just plop whatever you want into it? He’s going to really struggle not having everything fall out of the taco as he’s eating. Flavor gets an 8/10 but actually eating it is a 2/10.

Mammon:

Breakfast: Honestly loves waffles. It gets pretty messy but he can definitely see the appeal and loves all the sugar. He’s the type to put butter in each little cave and then smother it all in syrup. Very happy when it’s the humans turn to cook breakfast because he knows he can convince them to make him extra waffles.

Dinner: Pretty similar to Lucifer here. He finds the foods unique but is way more willing to try new things compared to his older brother. He thinks all the casseroles are weird. A good weird...but still weird. He doesn’t have a reason for it either, maybe it’s all the flavors at once in each dish or the lack of pretty presentation. He is a fan of tacos much to Lucifers annoyance!

Leviathan:

Breakfast: He’s watched enough anime to see the buttered toast trope but is disappointed when the human informs him that it’s not accurate, or even comfortable, to run down the street with toast in your mouth. He likes toast anyways though because he can customize it with jams and jellies! He may have bought himself a toaster for his room and harasses asks the human about what type of bread is best for toasting.

Dinner: One word. Pizza. Man does he go nuts for the stuff. You can customize it however you like! Is constantly begging the human to make him the dough so he can make a bunch of personal pizzas (though Beel always eats them). He’s pretty adventurous too so if someone suggests a new combination he’s willing to try it, though sometimes it has the rest of the house questioning his sanity. Eggs don’t go on a pizza.

Satan:

Breakfast: He loves a good muffin. While it does have quite a bit of sugar, it makes Lucifer mad so he is down to eat it. The first time he saw one, though, he did question if the human had just randomly decided they were going to make cupcakes for breakfast.

Dinner: Veggie nights will be the bane of his existence for all eternity. He is that kid who refuses to eat his vegetables so being faced with the choice of vegetables or no food is not a fun time for him. He’s got nothing against vegetarians just please have some other options besides veggies. He’s even willing to just eat a salad! Just not broccoli and squash. Lucifer makes it clear that he enjoys the veggie nights just because of how upset Satan gets.

Asmodeous:

Breakfast: Prefers a simple egg breakfast with a small bowl of fruit. He’s got to keep up his form and can’t possibly give into the temptation of GREASY bacon! He won’t admit it but he loves all the sugar in the homemade cinnamon rolls the human made, he can’t give into the temptations all these human foods throw at him!......the whole tray of cinnamon rolls did go missing though and Beel wasn’t the culprit.

Dinner: Is the one secretly trying to convince the human for more veggie nights. He scrunches his nose up at all the different fried foods and complains about all the grease (he really does love all the flavors though but again he will NEVER admit he loves all the grease). He secretly gets excited when he realizes it’s going to be a fried chicken night.

Beelzebub:

Breakfast: This boy LOVES when the human goes all out for breakfast. He enjoys all the different types of breakfasts and has no complaints about this meal. Thinks the various types of dessert like items are strange but he is not going to be the one to stop the human from making them.

Dinner: Loves all the meals except for barbecue. He gets fussy and grumpy when he gets told that he can’t go and have some of the meat out in the smoker and that he has to wait. He can smell the meat cooking overnight and is just a grumpy boy the next morning because he can’t have any of it until dinner. He does love all the different sides though, mash potatoes, corn on the cob, homemade Mac and Chese? Sign him up.

Belphegor:

Breakfast: First off, good luck getting this guy up in time to even try any of your foods. If he does manage to get down in time he’s usually too tired to care about what he’s eating, the brothers have had to stop him from eating a napkin more than once because he wasn’t paying attention. He does like biscuits and gravy though, it feels like a comfort food to him and he sometimes goes to find the human just to have it made for him, he’ll just sleep through the prep for the biscuits.

Dinner: Honestly loves all the different types of soups humans have come up with. Soups in Devildom all taste pretty bland or weirdly sweet due to the poisons in some of the plants. Having something savory and delicious though is pretty refreshing. He won’t admit it but he also hates taco night along with Lucifer, you mean to tell him he has to put effort into making his own meal and then more effort in keeping it from falling apart while he eats it? Sounds like a lot of work but he agrees the flavor is nice.

#obey me #obey me headcanons #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #food

[holycatsandrabbits]

Dead Eye

Original fiction ficlet, rated G

Written for the Morning Coffee zine, a free, original art and fiction zine on the topic of coffee. The art pieces were even painted in coffee! Thanks to @yummi-gummi-zines for modding!

It took Gayle an embarrassingly long time to realize that something was off about a certain customer at the coffee shop where she worked. It should have been rather obvious. For one, the man, Craig, spent time every day in the shop, but he didn’t drink any coffee. Craig carried a silver travel mug with him, but he never bought anything to go in it. He didn’t even use the free creamer like a lot of rude people did, bringing coffee from home just to help themselves to what extras the shop put out for free. In fact, Gayle had never actually seen him take a drink from his mug.

For another thing, Craig didn’t talk to anybody. That in itself wasn’t so strange, some people just weren’t social. But it was also the case that nobody ever talked to Craig. When people sat at the table he was occupying, no one ever said Excuse me or Mind if I sit here? And if Craig continued to sit by them instead of moving, they completely ignored him. Gayle only knew his name because she’d tried to strike up a conversation once. He’d given her a bit of a surprised look and introduced himself, but he hadn’t seemed to want to talk to her either.

And finally, Craig was dressed like someone who was employed— nice slacks, dress shirt, and a tie— but he showed up in the coffee shop at all kinds of weird hours, and he never brought any work with him, not a computer, or notebook, or even a phone. He just sat in a chair, usually the one by the window, with his mug in his hand, and watched people.

Even with all that, it still didn’t dawn on Gayle that the man was dead. It took her co-worker Maggie mentioning the coffee shop ghost for Gayle to finally put it all together.

“What ghost?” Gayle asked, as they were cleaning up after closing.

“Oh, I should have figured you hadn’t seen him,” Maggie said, with a dramatic sigh. “You don’t have a psychic bone in your body, I can tell.” She pointed to the table by the window. “I saw him, right there. Wish I hadn’t, though. He’s bad luck. Right after that I broke two china mugs. Jess saw him and she twisted her ankle on her way home. Grant dropped his phone and cracked the screen. It was a couple of days later, but it still counts.”

“What’s he look like?” Gayle asked.

“Nothing scary. Just like a customer. Brown hair, brown eyes. Handsome. Grant saw him twice, and says he carries a silver mug. Nobody ever sees him come in or leave, he’s just in here sometimes.”

“So how do you know he’s a ghost?” asked Gayle.

“Because he doesn’t order anything, doesn’t work on anything, and doesn’t talk to anybody.”

“Oh,” said Gayle. “Huh.”

Maggie went into the kitchen then to mop the floor, and a voice spoke up behind Gayle. “The ankle and the phone weren’t my fault. But I may have been responsible for the mugs. I don’t like Maggie. She always makes the half-cafs full-decafs.”

Gayle turned around to see Craig sitting on the counter she’d just cleaned, his mug beside him and his feet swinging in space.

“You, on the other hand,” he said, “I like. You only sabotage the orders of rude people.”

“Huh,” said Gayle, again.

“Want to know what happened?” Craig asked.

“Sure.”

“I had a heart attack.” Craig pointed to that table by the window. “Right there. Five years ago, before you or Maggie started here. I never saw it coming. I was an athlete, ate a good diet. Maybe I drank too much coffee.”

“You do look healthy,” Gayle said. “I’d never have guessed you were dead.”

Craig nodded. “I was wondering how long it was going to take you to figure it out.”

Maggie hollered from the kitchen. “Who are you talking to out there?” She poked her head out into the seating area. “You better not have let in a customer—” She looked around— counters included— and apparently saw no one.

“Just thinking out loud,” Gayle said, and Maggie went back into the kitchen.

“Nobody sees or hears me as well as you do,” Craig said. “Not a psychic bone in your body, my ass.”

Gayle started cleaning the glass display case. “So how come you didn’t pass on? You know—” She waved her hand. “Go upstairs? Downstairs?”

“No idea.”

“No grander purpose? Unfinished business? Didn’t commit some atrocity and get damned to stay here until you make amends?”

“Huh,” said Craig slowly. “I didn’t think of that last one.” He slid himself off the counter. “I mean, it wasn’t an atrocity.”

“What did you do?”

Craig put his hands up sort of defensively. “Well, look, nobody died. But I may have… possibly… robbed a bank.” Craig looked slightly remorseful.

“You robbed a bank,” Gayle said.

“Well, I worked at a bank. Made it easier. I just used a computer program.”

Maggie came out from the kitchen. “That’s good enough. Let the morning shift handle the rest.” She frowned at Gayle. “Are you okay? You don’t usually talk to yourself about robbing banks.”

Craig popped up again the next Saturday morning when Gayle came in by herself to start the baking. He appeared by the oven, wrinkling his nose at the orange-cinnamon scone batter. “I never liked those,” he complained. “So how does one make amends?”

Gayle gave him a surprised look. “Why are you asking me?”

“Because there’s literally no one else I can ask.”

“Well— I guess you apologize to the bank.”

“Can’t. Most people can only see me for a few minutes at a time, and nobody can hear me except you.”

“Well, then you swear not to to it again.”

“Can’t do it again, I’m dead. What would I even do with money now?” Craig scowled at a platter of blueberry muffins. “This doesn’t make any sense. If I’m supposed to make amends to the bank, why am I not haunting the bank?”

“It does seem like poor organization,” Gayle agreed.

Craig looked thoughtful for a moment, and then he said, “Well, maybe I’m supposed to help you. Since you can see and hear me so well. I mean, you don’t want to work in a coffee shop all your life, do you? You’ve got to have dreams.”

“Oh, I do,” Gayle assured him. “One of them is owning this place. I’ve always wanted to have a coffee shop. I’m going to school for my MBA right now.”

Craig stared at her a moment and then said, “Huh.” He seemed to sort of phase himself through the counter until he was sitting on it again.

“I’ve already included you in my plans,” Gayle said. She pointed out toward the seating area. “When the shop is mine, I’m going to put a sign on that chair you like— Reserved for the Ghost.”

“A haunted coffee shop?” Craig said, looking rather impressed.

“If we get TV crews in, could you give them a bit of a show?” Gayle asked.

Craig nodded. “I can do stuff like with Maggie and the mugs if I try really hard.”

“I’ll probably have themed drinks, too,” Gayle mused. “Ghost white. Phantom Frapp. Dead eye already works.”

Craig cocked his head. “That all sounds nice, but I have to say that helping you make money doesn’t really seem like a good deed on my part. Not exactly making amends.”

Gayle frowned. “Well, I was thinking of having a policy of giving all my day-old food to the needy.”

Craig snapped his fingers. “That could work.”

Gayle paused halfway through filling a muffin tin. “Do you think you’ll move on, then, when I’ve got it all set up?”

Craig shrugged. “I guess we’ll see. I’d almost hate to, though. Sounds like it would be fun. So how long do we have to wait for all that?”

“Well, I’m almost done with school. But I’m going to have to save up enough to buy the place.”

Craig looked thoughtful. “You know— I might know where you can get the funds.” When Gayle raised her eyebrows at him, he said, “The bank never caught me! I died before they could. Money’s just sitting around in an account I set up and nobody even knows about it.”

“Well,” said Gayle, “it’s certainly not doing anything sitting around in some account, is it?”

“Definitely not feeding the needy,” Craig agreed.

The door to the kitchen banged open as Maggie came in. “Sorry I’m late,” she said. “I didn’t want to be here. Are you talking to yourself again?”

“No,” said Gayle. “I’m talking to the ghost.”

Maggie gave her a confused look. “Don’t try to be funny. You aren’t.”

That day Maggie broke three mugs.

Find me at DannyeChase.com and on my Linktree

#Dannye writes #original fiction #original fiction zine #coffee

[eldritchsurveys]

1083.

Do you have a vlog? If not, have you ever considered starting a vlog? >> I don’t have a vlog and I’ve only considered it as a humorous thought exercise, not seriously. My own mannerisms and facial tics embarrass me when I’m aware of them or can see them on video, so I’d rather not put myself through that.

Did you go to AM or PM kindergarten? >> I don’t remember. Edit: I think at one point I was going to pre-K in the morning and kindergarten in the afternoon, because they realised I was precocious or whatever, but they didn’t want to just fully skip me to kindergarten (idfk, man, teachers are weird). So I went to both at the same time, and graduated from both at the end of the year.

What are your favorite youtube channels to watch? >> Wisecrack, Overly Sarcastic Productions, The Take, Philosophy Tube, ContraPoints, Ethys Asher, MTQCapture (just for FFXIV dungeon guides, but hers are the best), Final Fantasy Union, Implicitly Pretentious, NakeyJakey, Ask a Mortician... those are all the ones I can remember off the top of my head. I’m always looking for new channels, but it’s hard to find consistently interesting and well-made content that isn’t about things I just don’t particularly care about.

Which relative(s) do you look the most like? >> ---

Have you ever watched a live birth video? >> No.

Have you ever given birth? >> Heavens, no.

Do you remember when the Internet was a new thing? >> I vaguely remember when Internet for the casual at-home user became a thing. The Internet as a whole is a bit older than me, and I was very young when things like IRC came out.

Do you remember Y2K? >> Yes!

How old were you when the year changed to 2000? >> I was 12.

What was your favorite childhood vacation? >> ---

Have you ever wished you were born the opposite gender? >> I did think I was binary trans for a few years. Now I’m completely off the gender axis and floating in todash space somewhere. As intended.

What’s your birth order: oldest, middle, or youngest? >> I am the youngest of my father’s offspring.

Do you fit the stereotype for whatever birth order you are? >> I think if there’s any stereotype I’d be liable to fit, it’d be only-child stereotypes, since that’s how I was raised (my father’s other children were decades older than me and I barely knew them).

Have you ever worn overalls? >> Yeah.

If you’re a girl, how old were you when you started your period? >> I’m not a girl, but I was 11 or so.

Do you get cramps? >> I did. Awful ones, too, the kind that would incapacitate me (sometimes in public...). Which is the primary reason why I started taking the Pill -- I didn’t dare to hope that it would get rid of periods altogether, but I was very relieved and happy when it did.

Is your mom mentally stable? >> ---

Is your dad a complete jerk to you? >> ---

Where do you want to go on vacation next? >> I would love to go on a vacation to anywhere, but that’s not feasible right now.

What is one place you want to visit before you die? >> *shrug*

Has anyone ever committed suicide in your town, that you know of? >> I mean, I’m sure someone has, but I don’t know anything about it.

What’s your favorite type of crackers? >> Oh, god, I forgot what they’re called. But they’re long and thin and rectangular and they come in flavours like garlic and rosemary. Also, matzo. Love matzo, particularly the egg and onion kind.

What’s your favorite spice? >> I really couldn’t say.

Are you sensitive? >> Way more so than I’d thought I was. Turns out a complex system of protections and defense mechanisms was shielding a very soft core. (Thank god. As much as they can and do backfire and cause their own problems, can you imagine how much worse off I would have been without those mechanisms?)

Are you intuitive? >> I don’t know, really. How does one measure that?

Are you spiritual? >> Maybe. I don’t really know what people mean when they use that word, so I’m hesitant to say one way or the other.

Do you wish your life were easier? >> My life isn’t particularly difficult at this juncture. I just have... a very small window of tolerance and take things a lot harder as a result. I don’t wish my life was easier, I wish my brain was less on fire.

What color hair did your first crush have? >> ---

What was the name of your first crush? >> ---

Did you ever play on Mamamedia.com? >> No.

Do you remember your first email address? >> Yeah, it was [email protected].

Did you name your lego characters? >> I didn’t have LEGO. I had Tinker Toys and an Erector set, neither of which came with little people iirc.

What was/is your high school’s mascot? >> ---

What is/was your favorite class in high school? >> ---

Is college an adventure? >> ---

Do you take medication for anxiety or depression? If so, does it work? Does it help you? Or does it make you feel worse? >> I do not.

If applicable, what form of birth control do you use? >> The Pill. Not for the birth-control function, though... not having sex covers that pretty well.

Who is your favorite cousin? >> ---

Do you look your age? >> According to other people, who apparently care about that sort of thing, no.

What’s your favorite flavor of frosting? >> ---

Do you like toe socks? >> No.

Muffins or cupcakes? >> Cupcakes, but rarely. I just don’t like muffins period.

Have you ever had a bag stolen? >> Probably.

How old were you when you got your first phone? >> Seventeen.

Are you ready for summer?!?! >> I will be in a couple of months, you can guarantee that.

Is winter your favorite season? >> No.

How many people do you know who’ve said winter is their favorite season? >> Quite a few, actually. I feel like I’ve encountered far more winter people than summer people. I see people complaining about warm weather constantly. I will never understand (even as a person who runs hot, I will still never understand). Even with the side effect of getting SAD in the winter, I love being solar powered.

Are you unique in any way? >> I mean, probably.

Do you have any hidden talents? >> No.

Has anyone said you and your mom look like sisters? >> ---

Who was your best friend in high school? >> ---

What book or movie gave you nightmares as a child? >> None.

What song makes you cry? >> Plenty, but I can’t think of one right now.

Does anyone know who your first crush was besides you? >> ---

How many teachers have you had crushes on? >> I was thinking about this last night. Calling the obsession I had with that one teacher a “crush” is erroneous because... the reason why I felt the way I felt about him is because he was nice to me. Literally, that was it. I was freshly traumatised (and being in and out of the hospital was just re-traumatising me), had an attachment disorder and was emotionally neglected, and was used to being treated poorly. When I told That One Teacher that I cut myself, he gave me a hug. Like... groundbreaking! No one else had responded that way! Of course I was attached to him, he actually treated me like someone who deserved kindness and care. It’s really hard not to feel crushingly sad for teenage!me (and, as an extension, current!me, who is still bearing the effects of the past) when I think about that.

Did you make your Barbie dolls get crushes on each other? >> I don’t really remember what I did with Barbie dolls.

Did your Barbie dolls go on dates? >> ^

How old were you when you had your first kiss? >> ---

Do you like church? >> Eh. Depends on the church, I guess. I’ll always have affection for Black Church(tm).

Do you have scars from self-harm? >> Yep.

Do you have cellulite? >> A little, I think.

How old were you when you started getting zits? >> I had them through my teenage years.

Did your hair change at all when you went through puberty? >> I don’t think so.

Are you taller, shorter, or the same height as your mom? >> I’ve been taller than that woman since I was 12.

Would you ever consider adopting a child? >> If I was ever going to raise a child, this would be the only way it’d happen.

Who was your first roommate? >> ---

Have you ever had a teacher who was rude? >> Yup.

Is your mom paranoid? >> ---

Do you trim your own hair? >> I buzz my own head, yeah.

Did your mom read you bedtime stories as a child? >> I was not read bedtime stories as a child. I made up my own in my head instead.

What are all the things you remember being for Halloween? >> ---

What was the name of the first pet that you loved? >> Roxie.

Did you have your own room as a child? >> I did.

What color was your nursery? >> ---

Did your parents know your gender before you were born? >> I don’t know.

What is your name (first and middle)? >> Mordred Shadow.

What would you have been named if you had been born the opposite gender? >> My name isn’t related to what my parent named me, and I have no idea what he would have named me if I was born the opposite sex.

Do you like your name? >> I like the one I gave myself, yes.

What would you name your children? >> ---

Do you exercise regularly? >> I’m again trying to do the take-a-daily-walk thing. Again. I fail every time, but I keep trying. Can Calah says there’s something good about that, better than failing and giving up on ever doing it again. I don’t know, but I’ll trust him on it.

Do you have a healthy BMI? >> I don’t know.

What is your favorite season? >> Spring.

Do you look like your mom? >> ---

What is the origin of your last name? >> I have no idea. I assumed that in this world, Stephen King made it up, but maybe he didn’t. The “canonical” origin of my last name is Gilead-That-Was.

What is the meaning of your first name? >> It’s unclear.

What month were you born in? >> May.

Do you share a birthday with anyone in your family? >> ---

Do you have a sweet tooth? >> Nope.

What photo editing software do you use? >> I either use Paint to just resize or crop an image, or Pixlr if I need extra editing tools.

Where do you buy most of your clothes? >> There is no place where I buy the majority of my clothes. They come from all over.

#surveys #survey #random survey #not for reblogging *glare*

[glittertomb]

Eating Cleaner Tricks

Want tacos but nervous about the high fat content? Yogurt is a great sour cream alternative for tacos and has loads of probiotics for digestive health (and no lactose because it’s broken down during the heating process). Lettuce wraps add a fresh flavor and texture if you want to skip flour or corn tortillas. And when I make tacos, there are so many yummy ingredients like roasted corn and potatoes, carmelized onions and peppers, fresh tomatoes and homemade guacamole, or spicy black beans and fresh herbs, that I don’t even notice when there isn’t cheese or meat.

Did you make hummus but it has a weird texture? I’m an expert at ruining good food and not being able to afford more, so I came up with this trick to save my hummus the other day. I threw it in a pan and made veggie burger patties, and now the crispy, warm texture on the outside overrides my qualms with the lumpiness and grainy-ness of the hummus. Make some homemade tzatziki (yogurt, cucumber, garlic, salt, and lemon) and throw it in a wrap with some fresh greens.

Want to make a healthy breakfast but don’t have time in the morning? The night before, mix eggs and whatever veggies you have in a bowl with a little salt and pepper, and laddle the mixture into a muffin pan. Throw it in the oven for about 20 minutes and now you have little egg and veggie “muffins” that you can pop into the microwave during your morning routine. Pro tip: if you’re going to use spinach, pre-cook it and drain as much liquid as you can out of it, otherwise your egg bundles with look a little dr. seuss-y. ;)

Want to buy fresh produce but it goes bad before you can use it? Smoothies, baby. Buying a blender can be expensive, but you will save so much money by not throwing rotten food away. The second my bananas start going brown, my celery starts getting limp, or my kale starts to yellow, I throw it in my freezer’s “smoothie tub” so I can use it for months to come. My favorite things to save are apples, ginger, bananas, cucumber, celery, kale, pitted fruits, melon, and oranges. I’ll cut up most of the fruits and veggies... but leave bananas in the peel or they get yucky! Take the banana out 10 minutes before you make your smoothie and by that time the peel will come off easily.

Feel bad about throwing away zucchini stems, broccoli ends, carrot tops, and celery stalks? Save it for soup! I also have a “soup tub” in my freezer where I save the “undesirable bits” of mushrooms, potatoes, tomatoes, garlic, and any other vegetable that would go well in a soup broth. Another good idea is to get a turtle, lizard, rat, hamster, or rabbit. They’ll help keep ends and leafy greens out of the bin (just make sure to do your research on what they can and cannot eat!). My hamster cage is close to my cutting board and my favorite part of the morning is seeing the little whiskers twitch as she’s half asleep but can smell me preparing her favorite veggie ends.

Love to drink tea but don’t always have “tea time”? Make a huge vat of iced tea and keep it in the fridge so you can easily grab a glass without the time, hassle, or mess. I find that as a fully-fledged Adult ™, the thought of extra work, even for things I love, is exhausting, so I’ll drink more tea if it’s already prepared and all I have to do is pour. When making iced tea, you’ll want to use extremely hot water to get the most from the infusion (unless you’re making green or white tea, because they are more delicate). I would tell you the ratios, but it’s extremely dependent upon the company, how old the tea is, and whether or not it’s loose leaf, so that’s an experiment for you to try. Lean on the side of less water cause it’s easier to dilute.

I’ll add more things as I think of them. :)

#personal #food #inspiration #health

[dwyeristhicc]

Dwyer who hasn’t had much conversation with M!Corrin but thinks he’s really cute. One day he over hears a rumour that Corrin is into guys with some meat on their bones so Dwyer starts to gain steadily in hopes Corrin will notice and when ever he’s around Corrin he will just get super flustered and when Corrin looks over he just sees a flustered and tired over weight Butler. And yes Corrin falls for him immediately

Ever since Corrin rescued him from the Valla Soldiers during the raid of his deeprealm, Dwyer had fallen for the Nohrian prince, and his attraction for him has only grown bigger since then.

Dwyer never paid any mind to most of the things he said, since he never cared about what anyone but his father thinked about him, but whenever Corrin even talked to him he would become a flustered mess, stumbling over his words and his cheeks turning the same color of Corrin’s beautiful red eyes.

Whenever he tried to talk to Corrin, his mind would go blank and leave an awkward silence around him. Corrin would obviously try to lighten up the mood, but Dwyer knew he was just doing it to be nice.

He resigned himself to not winning over the Nohrian prince, after all, Corrin’s army was a very large army, and that meant a lot of options, and who would pick the insomniac asshole? That’s what he thought, at least.

Hell, how did he know Corrin wasn’t straight? He assumed that he might’ve had a thing for either Silas or for Jakob, the latter option making him shriek in disgust, but it seemed that it was nothing more but a mix of Corrin’s kindness and his adorable naivety showing whenever he’s talking to people.

Because of the seemingly impossible task of having Corrin be into him, Dwyer had fallen into a bit of a bad mood, and he did what he did best- repressing his feelings and ignoring them with work.

He spent the whole day cleaning the whole camp- Washing the dishes, dusting each room, washing all the clothes, preparing tea for at least 30 people, and a whole lot of other things that that helped Dwyer block feelings that were Corrin-related.

The day soon ended, and Dwyer was still cleaning room after room, and he had finished Keaton’s room, a room that Dwyer would classify as a clusterfuck. He then realised that there was only one room left- Corrin’s room.

“Shit.”

He thought of simply not cleaning Corrin’s room, but he immediately thought how much his father would boast about doing what he “forgot” to do.

Dwyer would rather die than let his father enjoy winning in the butler business, so he took a deep breath, and opened the door of Corrin’s room.

The Nohrian Prince’s room wasn't very messy. It had a few things laying on the floor- A bronze sword, a bag of vulneraries, and a small diary. Besides that, only a few tables required dusting and the sheets had to be changed.

After doing all the chores, he picked up the prince’s belongings that were on the floor- Dwyer polished the sword, put the vulneraries in their right place, and he was about to pick up the diary, but a rush of curiosity took over him. If no one found out, what was wrong with some snooping around?

He opened the diary and started reading the first few pages. It was mostly battle strategies and venting about how much of a bad father Garon was, but when he got to the middle point he started to notice some notes based on how he felt about the other members of the army.

Dwyer felt a small rush of happiness when he saw notes about how some of the guys were cute, so he was definitely not straight, at least that was something that made his day a little bit better.

He continued to scroll through the pages until the notes started to focus on something very peculiar- How fat they were.

Notes about how Keaton’s gut was very hairy, how Benny’s soft stomach complemented his adorable personality, and a lot of other details that Dwyer felt kind of weird reading. He didn’t expect Corrin to be this kinky.

Dwyer suddenly heard footsteps, and he quickly placed the diary on top of the night stand that was next to Corrin’s bed.

As he made his way out of the room, he met face to face with Corrin, to his dismay. Dwyer felt his cheeks burning as he gripped his cleaning utensils.

“H-hey, Lord Corrin…”

“It’s nice to see you again Dwyer. I heard that you cleaned all the camp, so I wanted to congratulate you on being a valuable member of the army!”. He shook Dwyer’s hand firmly with a huge smile on his face.

Dwyer felt a rush of adrenaline. How could he be so adorable?

“T-thanks. I’ll go to sleep, if you don’t mind.”

“It’s no big deal, Dwyer. Just know that you can stay in your room if you desire so, you worked hard today.”

Being congratulated by Corrin made Dwyer’s heart skip a beat. He was just so nice and kind that it made it impossible to not smile whenever Corrin talked.

Dwyer opened the door to his room and he flopped into his bed. It only dawned on him how tired he was, even more than his usual sleepiness.

He then started to think about what he read in Corrin’s diary. Dwyer found it interesting- Discovering that Corrin loved men like he did, how he was infatuated by their stomachs, and how he seemingly thought that the bigger a guy was, the better.

And suddenly, he had an epiphany. Corrin was into bigger guys, so then he came into a conclusion- If he wanted to win over Corrin, he had to pack on some pounds.

It wouldn’t be hard, since he wasn’t eating “super healthy” in comparison to the rest of the army, snacking mostly on pastries, so he just had to eat a little bit more than usual to catch Corrin’s attention. He had a head start as well, since he was already a little bit chunky.

Dwyer immediately got up and headed to the kitchen. He made sure no one was there so that he could eat at his heart’s content.

The coast was clear, and he started to grab everything he needed to start baking. He used the multiple ovens to bake multiple things- A chocolate cake, a batch of chocolate chip cookies, a pumpkin pie, and a batch of blueberry muffins.

While everything was baking, he munched on some biscuits inside the pantry. He really enjoyed how his father baked them, even if he would never admit it.

Soon after, the ovens finished heating all of Dwyer’s snacks. He placed all of them in the table, and licked his lips in pleasure as his stomach grumbled.

He grabbed a fork and a knife and started with the pumpkin pie. Dwyer cut a big chunk of the pie and shoved it into his mouth. He moaned as he felt the intensely good flavor of the pie.

“Oh man, I’m such a good cook.”

Dwyer soon dug into the rest of his giant meal, his taste buds being constantly bombarded with more and more sugary flavors.

The cookies were soon gone and only left a trail of crumbs on top of Dwyer’s chest, the muffins were shoved one by one into Dwyer as he slowly chewed them, and the cake was furiously devoured by Dwyer, even grabbing some chunks with his bare hands and shoving them in his mouth.

He ate like he had never eaten before, during every single bite he thought about Corrin, and how much he would hug him and kiss him after getting fatter.

If every day was going to be like this, Dwyer was going to enjoy one hell of a lifestyle.

---

Dwyer woke up, and immediately headed for the kitchen. He made sure to wake up early, something that he has never done in his life, to grab as much food as he could. He wasn’t in the mood to be judged by his father.

The butler grabbed as much as he could find- A plate of scrambled eggs, pancakes with chocolate chips and whipped cream, bacon sandwiches, a plate of biscuits, and a small slice of cake.

The same thing that occured last night happened again. Dwyer ate shamelessly, thinking about how good it would feel for Corrin to squish his belly, and how it would feel even better when he got as big as Corrin wanted him to be.

By the end, Dwyer’s belly was bloated, his pajama shirt’s buttons were straining, and his face was red as a tomato as he felt a mix of pain, embarrassment, pleasure, and satisfaction as he rubbed his belly.

His stomach growled in order to protest the amount of food that was put inside of it, but Dwyer didn’t care. He was too busy planning out what he was gonna eat for lunch.

---

A month had passed and Dwyer had certainly packed on some extra pounds. His thighs had grown in size dramatically, his butt growing juicier and making his undies and pants struggle to contain it, a pair of moobs starting to appear that seemingly looked as big, if not bigger, than Kagero’s, but the biggest thing was his gut. He couldn’t even see his feet now, and carried his giant stomach with pride.

He noticed Corrin was starting to pay attention to him, catching him staring and freezing every time they encountered each other in the hot springs, allowing the Nohrian prince to get a good look at his giant body.

Dwyer decided to wait a few months, allowing him to grow even bigger. Just in case “competition” showed up (Keaton had started to become plump as well, but nowhere near Dwyer’s current weight)

He woke up, taking off his sleeping clothes, that were nothing but a pair of dark blue briefs that really accentuated the roundness of his butt, and put on his new butler clothes, that were custom made to accommodate to his gargantuan size.

Dwyer knocked on Corrin’s door, his bigger size giving him a boost of confidence he desperately needed.

Corrin opened the door, but his eyes widened when he saw the bigger and fatter butler towering over him. A small blush appeared on his face as he waved his hand in order to say “Hi”

“Hey Corrin…” Dwyer had a shit-eating grin in his face. He knew Corrin was currently crazy for him, since every time he cleaned his room he took a small peek into the diary of the prince. “I’m pretty hungry…”

Corrin fumbled with his words before managing to mutter “D-do you want food?”

Dwyer patted his belly. “Yeah… I’m in the mood for wyvern steak.”

Corrin ran into the kitchen embarrassed, Dwyer being able to hear the prince the phrase “Oh My God” repeatedly under his breath.

The dragon prince came with a catering cart full of multiple plates that had dishes that had a giant wyvern steak on top of it, and when he opened the door, Dwyer was laying on bed in othing but his boxers, giving him a cheeky smile.

Corrin’s face went red and he shut the door, not wanting to be seen doing something so embarassing.

Dwyer had finally stolen the Dragon prince’s heart, and his love for him was almost as big as his gut.

[yourkeeperoftherunners]

Sweetest Reason to Break a Resolution (Sort of)

Plot: AU He promised his friend to start joining him at the gym to develop a healthy routine in his hectic life. But passing by a cafe with the tempting smells of spices, chocolate, and sugar is enough to make him put the brakes on and reconsider that resolution. Besides, it doesn’t hurt that the person serving up the pastries is a sweet sight to behold.

Rating: PG (Light flirting, Minor language, Minor scolding about habits)

Characters: Masters Student!Namjoon x Baker/Cafe Employee!Reader (any gender), Undergrad Student!Jungkook, plus mention of others

Notes: The idea hit me while I was nibbling on edible cookie dough. I remembered that someone did a funny video compiling all the times Namjoon’s reached for a spoonful or extra helping of something sweet on shows like sugar if they’re baking or squirting a bit of honey into his mouth and it got me thinking about him and baked goods. Please note in this work that Namjoon is a normal weight, but isn’t heavily muscled like Jungkook – the latter is trying to encourage him to make the gym a regular habit. Do not post anywhere else!

“Hyung, you’ll thank me later,” Jungkook said as he led the way, a bounce in his step.

Namjoon yawned as he pushed his glasses up on his nose, sighing as he trudged behind the younger student. He had his student ID in hand, ready to flash at the person behind the counter.

The undergrad student insisted that his elder join him at the university’s gym every morning after the holidays. While Namjoon ate fairly healthy and tended to walk everywhere he could, Jungkook felt that he should find a good outlet after dealing with a stressful schedule. The older boy protested that he handled his stress well – he preferred listening to music or the occasional whale song and often would read lots of books. But sitting and doing solitary things wasn’t good enough for the fit third year, who ordered Namjoon to make a New Year’s Resolution to go to the gym at least two to three times a week.

“Are you going to buy me coffee after this?” Namjoon joked as he put his stuff in a locker.

Jungkook rolled his eyes and said he’d buy Namjoon a protein smoothie. “Besides hyung, you’ll need protein and nutrients to re-hydrate your body.”

“The first workout is the hardest,” Jungkook admitted as he watched Namjoon wobble over to the showers. “Well, first few workouts. When did you last do a regular workout?”

Namjoon ignored the question as he cranked the water on to warm, groaning as he closed his eyes. He wasn’t heavy according to his doctor – maybe he had a bit of softness in his waistline, but he did see faint traces of abs there. (Definitely not anywhere close to Jungkook, who was a certified muscle pig.) He took deep breaths as he let the water run down his body.

“I’m still going to ask for a coffee after this.”

“You really should drink a protein smoothie,” Jungkook sighed as he finished his off. He closed the lid on the bottle and stowed it in his gym bag, reaching into the pocket for his wallet.

Namjoon groaned when he stopped abruptly, noticing the long line at the university cafe. He pulled out his phone and looked up nearby cafes, scrolling until he found one that was less than a block from campus.

“I can still –”

“Kookie, I don’t know how you drink those – they’re chalky and full of weird things made in a factory,” Namjoon sighed.

The pair made their way over to the cafe, following the GPS instructions on Namjoon’s phone. As they neared it, Namjoon inhaled deeply, catching a mixture of strong coffee, chocolate, and something sweet wafting through the air. His eyes opened and he turned to check the door, making sure it was the right place. His hand gripped the handle and he pulled the door open, holding it for Jungkook.

“Good morning, welcome!” you called out from behind the counter. You dried your hands off and waited by the register as the pair walked in, eyes going from the boards overhead to the displays of fresh pastries.

“Joonie,” Jungkook warned as Namjoon made a beeline for the case holding pastries.

“Freshly made – the multigrain muffins came out half an hour ago and I just put the croissants in there,” you said. “Today’s special croissant is a berry compote stuffed one with white chocolate on top – the compote’s made in house.”

Despite the younger’s protests to focus on the coffee only, Namjoon pointed to the special croissant, asking for one to go in a bag. You smiled as you reached for gloves and a bag to put it in.

“Can I get you any coffee, tea...?” you trailed off.

“House brew please,” Namjoon added.

Jungkook stepped forward and said he was paying for the coffee.

“So is the croissant separate?” you asked.

“Yes, I only agreed to get him the coffee after kicking his butt in the gym this morning,” the young man admitted.

You shot Namjoon a sympathetic look and murmured, “New Year’s Resolution? I’m sorry then for tempting you with the carbs – probably not helping there.”

Namjoon looked up from the case and shook his head. A sheepish look crossed his face and he replied that he hadn’t eaten breakfast yet. You nodded to show you understood as you finished Jungkook’s transaction, then retrieved a to go cup for the coffee.

Jungkook slid the cup to Namjoon, the latter pulling out his wallet to pay for the croissant.

“Since I’m terrible and probably ruined your first day of progress on that resolution, it’s on the house,” you confessed.

He blinked and stammered that he couldn’t accept it for free. ���You’ve, you’ve got to run a business. I can’t do that!”

You shrugged and looked around the cafe with an amused look. “It’s my brother’s cafe – he said I’m in charge while he’s on his honeymoon, so I think I can stand to give away a free croissant. I can assure you that I’m not putting any fake ingredients or crap in the baked goods – I make it all fresh here. So maybe it’s not the healthiest thing post-workout, but it’s better than a processed thing with hell knows what.”

Namjoon accepted the bag and bowed deeply, thanking you for your generosity. He retrieved the coffee cup and followed the younger student back to campus.

“Joonie!”

“What? I worked out and I didn’t eat before the workout like you told me,” Namjoon sighed. “I have back-to-back classes today and I don’t want my stomach making noise in class.”

Jungkook groaned and declared that he could already see his elder failing the resolution. Namjoon frowned as he took a long sip from his cup.

“So did he give up already Jungkookie?” Jimin asked.

“Hey, you guys talking about me?” Namjoon demanded as he joined the pair, hoisting his messenger bag higher on his shoulder.

Jimin smiled innocently and repeated his question, adding that Jungkook shared the post-workout meal from the first day.

“Hyung, are you even trying? I’m pretty sure I haven’t seen you in the gym when I’ve gone the last couple of days,” Jungkook said. “Hoseok said he ran into you when you were going to that cafe again.”

Namjoon sighed as he dug his phone out, scrolling until he found the Health app that tracked his steps and workouts. He tapped it and changed the view to a weekly view, holding it up for the younger boys to see. Jungkook blinked as he looked at the screen and Jimin clapped.

“I’m sorry hyung,” Jungkook mumbled as he sat back. “I guess you had to move things around to fit your schedule – I sometimes forget how close you are to finishing your Masters.”

Namjoon shrugged as he put his phone away. “I did run into Seokjin-hyung a couple of times – he can vouch for me. Oh and yesterday, I swam for 45 minutes – my phone couldn’t log that.”

“It’s good to change it up, or else it gets boring,” Jimin replied with a nod. He cupped his chin thoughtfully and mused about the cafe that everyone was talking about.

Jungkook stretched an arm out and began showing the directions to get there from the university campus cafe.

Jimin paused, then it dawned on him that he had passed the establishment a few times. “I heard they’re pretty new,” he added. “Think it’s a family business?”

“We met the younger sibling of the manager,” Namjoon replied. “They’re really nice and it’s a quiet space to do work.”

Jungkook snickered as he crossed a leg over the other. “Or you like it hyung, because they give you pastries for free.”

“ONE TIME!” Namjoon sighed as he threw his hands up. “I’ve paid and tipped the last few times I’ve gone!”

“You’re right hyung – it is nice,” Jimin remarked as he took a seat near the windows. 

Namjoon pulled out his third draft of his thesis for review and Jimin scanned the counter, looking for their order. He watched as you made your way over, carrying two cups of coffee.

“Here are those Americanos guys,” you announced as you placed each mug carefully on the table.

Jimin beamed and thanked you, pulling his mug closer to cup his hands around.

Namjoon looked up from his thesis and smiled as he stared at the cup, then you. “Thanks so much Y/N.”

You nodded and added that his cookie would be out shortly. “They’re going to be fresh out of the oven – you like soft or crunchy?”

“I’m not picky,” he confessed. “Surprise me.”

“Okay got it,” you promised. You turned to head back, passing your brother along the way.

“So, is that the –”

“Shut up,” you cut him off, throwing him a death glare. "He ordered a cookie. Stop reading too much into it.”

Jimin lifted his mug and took a tiny sip, trying not to burn his tongue. He sighed as the balanced flavors lingered on his tongue and he nodded in approval. “I think this is better than the campus cafe. They always screw it up, or at least mine’s never right.”

Namjoon took a sip from his mug as he flipped to the next page, sighing as he read the comments for improving one of the paragraphs. He became engrossed in the paper that he didn’t realize you had returned with the cookie.

Jimin’s eyes widened when he saw how large it was – the plate seemed nonexistent, as the cookie was big in diameter. He inhaled deeply and hummed, wishing he had ordered one too.

Almost as if the elder could read his mind, Namjoon spoke up, “You can have some, ChimChim. I don’t think I can eat the whole thing.”

“So, how’s the resolution going?” you asked.

Jimin reached for the cookie and broke off a piece. “Well, apparently Joonie’s actually working out still. Our friend thought he gave up after the first day, but hyung’s been fitting it into his busy schedule.” He chewed the piece slowly, moaning as the dark chocolate chips and dark brown sugar flavors melded together.

You tilted your head and asked if the friend was the guy who bought him coffee the first day.

Namjoon reached for the cookie and confirmed it was the same person. “I don’t eat that badly out of our friends, but he thought I needed to visit the gym more regularly. I’m not able to sync my workouts with his because I’ve got my thesis to work on and he’s busy with other things.”

“He looked like a gym rat to me,” you remarked with a shake of your head. “He probably sees me as pure evil for tempting you with baked goods.”

Namjoon smirked as he broke off a piece of the cookie and added that the youngest wasn’t as perfect as he seemed. “Bread is his weakness – pasta, pizza...I’ve seen him down chips in one sitting. I’m talking the full sized bag by the way.”

You chuckled as you glanced over at the display. “I guess I’ll have to try my aunt’s cheese buns on him if he ever ventures in here again.”

“Start again.”

Namjoon groaned as he slumped over the podium, burying his head in his arms. He mumbled something like, “S’matter with that one?”

Seokjin sighed as he folded his hands on the table. “You started to rush things and your sentences were becoming run-ons. Hard to understand what you were saying and what the point was of your argument. You need to take a deep breath, relax, and speak from your mind. You have a solid paper, but the presentation is just as important.”

“I know, I know!” Namjoon sighed with a huff. He was tired of rehearsing his thesis defense in front of Seokjin; the pair had been practicing for almost an hour. While the former had a few days before the actual presentation took place, he was trying to cram in all of the practice he could get.

Seokjin checked his watch and shot him a sympathetic smile. “Joonie, how about we take a break and try tomorrow? Would you like to take a walk? Do you want to go to your favorite cafe?”

“I really shouldn’t be eating this late at night,” Namjoon said.

Seokjin rolled his eyes and rose from his chair, dismissing the statement. “You don’t have to buy anything. Maybe you can get some tea or something.”

“They’re closed,” Namjoon sighed when they reached the cafe, noticing the sign was flipped on the door.

The older male frowned as he squinted to see inside, pointing when he saw someone move inside the cafe. “But there’s someone inside! Maybe if we get their attention –”

“No Jin-ah, let’s go,” Namjoon huffed as he started to drag the other away. He hadn’t gone more than two steps from the door when he heard the lock being turned and he looked up to see it was you.

“Everything all right?” you asked. “I was debating if I try pawning the remaining case stuff on random people or tossing them.”

“DON’T TOSS THEM!” Seokjin declared, horror flashing across his face. He dug around in his pockets for his wallet and you bit back a laugh at his dramatic reaction.

“Okay then, looks like you guys got lucky – let me get those bagged up for you,” you replied with a smile. You stepped to the side to let them in before closing the door and heading to the back to package up the pastries.

Namjoon lingered by the counter and he rested his hands on top, calling out an apology for bothering you so late.

“No worries – you saved me from tossing perfectly good cookies and rolls,” you called from the back. “Late night for both of you?”

“Thesis practice,” Namjoon grumbled.

“Oh that’s why you had that long-ass paper with the marks across it,” you recalled. “Good luck with that. I’m guessing it’s right around the corner?”

“Yeah it’s Thursday,” Namjoon said. “How much do we owe you?”

“Nothing,” you stated as you emerged with 2 full bags. “I’m not taking a single penny. Normally I’m stuck tossing the extras out or giving them away – they don’t last forever when you make them fresh every day.” You explained that the cookies were in one bag and the rolls were in another.

Seokjin put away his wallet and bowed deeply, saying that he appreciated the kind gesture.

“Starving college student life is real,” you confirmed. “I should be thanking both of you for saving me from throwing these out.”

The pair took the bags and thanked you, Seokijin adding that he was happy to take the leftovers from the cafe any time.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” you laughed. “Have a good one!”

“FREE PASTRIES?!” Jimin almost yelled. He pouted and looked from Jin to Namjoon.

“It was a few nights ago,” Namjoon sighed. “Sorry ChimChim. We took a break and walked by. They said the stuff leftover would have been tossed if we didn’t take it.”

“A crime,” Jin uttered with a shake of his head. “I’m so glad we went. Now I know why you like that cafe so much Joonie – they really know how to bake!”

Jimin smirked as he leaned against the wall, crossing his arms over his chest. “Or, Joonie-hyung has a big crush on the baker who works there.”

Namjoon whipped his head around and began to protest, cheeks flooding with color. The pair watched his reaction and shot him identical looks, indicating that they didn’t believe the masters student.

“Well, what am I supposed to do?” Namjoon huffed.

“Go ask them out,” Jimin replied.

“I’ll close up,” you said, glancing over at your brother.

He paused and checked the schedule, trying to remember if it was really your turn. You rolled your eyes and jerked your head at the door.

“You should go home – your wife told me to tell you to be on time tonight,” you added. “That’s all I’m allowed to say.”

He sighed as he removed his apron and hung it on a hook. He retrieved his jacket and tossed you the cafe keys. As he slid his arms into the sleeves, he asked if you were hoping to see the tall student stop in.

“What is with you?” you demanded as you turned to face him.

He shrugged his shoulders and fixed the collar on his jacket. “Look, I know you hate when I do the whole ship thing, but this guy seems interested. Why else would he bother to visit a small business that has no loyalty program other than a student discount on a regular basis? Plus I’m pretty sure he looks happy to see you.”

You turned back to the mixer, flicking it on so you could tune out your brother. He took that as his cue to leave, yelling that he wanted you to text him when you were home safely.

Initially you felt bad for being a terrible influence on the handsome masters student, always asking if he wanted something else to accompany his regular medium cup of house brew coffee. But it was hard to describe the feeling you got when he would take a bite of whatever pastry you made, watching as his eyes closed to form little crescent moons, full lips curving into a smile, and dimples forming in his cheeks after savoring each bite. He wasn’t the first customer who became an avid fan of the bakery’s offerings, but he certainly made it clear in his reactions that he was satisfied with what he bought.

You turned the mixer off and strained your ears to hear someone calling from the front. You walked out to the shop front and saw it was him.

“Good evening, the usual?” you asked as you stood by the register.

He flashed a smile at you and shook his head. His eyes scanned the menu boards and you spoke up, asking if he was willing to test something for you. He tilted his head at the offer and you looked over your shoulder at the back.

“I’ve been getting requests from some of the patrons about offering vegan options, so I’m working on a test,” you said. “It’s nothing weird, I promise. I’m trying to make edible cookie dough balls, but I wanted to try them out on someone else to make sure they taste good enough that anyone would like them.”

He beamed and rested his hands on the counter. “You had me at cookie dough.”

“I want you to be brutally honest,” you told him as you placed a plate of cookie dough balls before him. You had made 3 flavors – chocolate chip, snickerdoodle, and peanut butter.

Namjoon hummed as he stared at the plate, fingers hovering over as he tried to decide which one to start with first. He selected the peanut butter and took a bite, chewing thoughtfully.

“It’s good,” he commented after swallowing.

“But?”

“Oh no ‘but’ – it’s good. I’ll admit I’m more of a Nutella guy,” he replied with a sheepish grin.

“Oh that’s a good one! I’ll add that as an option to try later,” you said with a smile.

You passed over a glass of milk and he took a sip. His free hand picked up the snickerdoodle and he bit into it. He twitched his nose and you leaned forward nervously.

“Sorry, the cinnamon’s –”

“I should have backed off,” you confessed. “I went a bit heavy – did it hit you hard?”

“I’m okay,” he said as he took another sip from the glass. “I think that could be a good one too. Maybe not for me.”

You nodded as you made notes in your head about the recipes, easy adjustments to make so far.

Namjoon put his glass down and sighed. “Um, if you don’t mind me asking, when did you learn to bake so well? I mean, everything I’ve tasted is amazing.”

You felt your cheeks warm at the compliment and you folded your hands on the table. “It’s sort of a family thing – Auntie always did rolls, Gran’s thing was cookies, and Uncle likes making danish. My brother’s no good at baking, but everyone in the family hated the thought of him outsourcing the bakery goods from a outside vendor. So he asked if I wanted a job after culinary school and I said sure.”

“I can tell you really love it,” he confessed. “Then again, I’m weak for sweets so anything sweet makes me happy.”

“Are you sure I didn’t ruin things with you and your friend?” you asked. “I know resolutions are hard to keep, especially exercise and diet related ones.”

Namjoon paused as he picked up the chocolate chip cookie dough ball. “He doesn’t know this, but I’d work out before coming here. You know, to justify eating one of your delicious pastries. He never said I had to change my diet completely – he only wanted me to add regular gym visits into my schedule.”

He took a bite of the ball, closing his eyes with a nod. After he swallowed, the rest of the ball was popped into his mouth and he flashed two thumbs up.

“Your favorite, huh?”

“Definitely,” he confirmed. He licked a small smear that was caught at the corner of his mouth and smiled.

“Should I grab the rest of the bowl for you to enjoy? Oh and by the way, I’m not charging you for these – they’re samples,” you said.

“Oh come on, I should comp you for the ingredients!” he whined.

“No it’s fine,” you insisted. You rose from your seat and grabbed the plate, promising to return with the bowl.

Namjoon watched as you headed to the back and called out, “You should grab two spoons.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m sharing it with you.”

#BTS RM AU #BTS RM imagine #BTS RM #BTS AU #BTS imagine #yourkeeperoftherunners original #number 2662

[themilokin]

14, 17, 29, 30, 31

14. Introduce any other parties you have played in or DM-ed.

Oh god. Oh no. The LONGEST LIST…

The Historical Preservation Society of Fandolin - My first ever dnd party playing Lost Mines of Phandelver! This was a bunch of years ago and I still have very very fond memories. We got our name by a scheme that managed to get us a 1v1 fight with a necromancer and then later an invitation to see some bugbears but that turned out less good. Comprised of Flint the Dwarven Cleric who 100% started a table-wide superstition of warhammers never hitting their targets, Taris the Half-Orc Paladin noble who originated the scheme, Tilwynn Syrr (Mr. Sir)- my wood elf rogue- who continued the scheme and butted heads with Taris repeatedly, and Eileer- a wood-elf beastmaster ranger who we called Grandma for her age and general personality. It was a wild few months.

Ghostbusters - A hard-scrabble group of idiots fight off supernatural threats and actual cannibal Shia LeBouff in the Magic The Gathering setting of Innestrad. The first campaign my girlfriend and I got to play together, and her first campaign! Comprised of her Ness (a Hunter Ranger with RIDICULOUS damage output), my Vermillion Kade (assassin and group dad), a Fighter that died to a Shambling Mound and came back as a Bagpiping Bard whose names elude me, Nessnemo (Nemo for clarity- a barbarian whose outfit consisted of primarily straps and little else), and Anders (A druid who caused the tablewide joke of ‘Bear in a Banquethall’ whenever players do something Very Ill-Advised because they missed a detail of description). We also saw a character named Chrodechild in this game while I took over for a Birthday Two-shot DMing stint.

OG Sendra - The first attempt at a full-length campaign. Comprised of Chrodechild the enchantress that eventually face-heel-turned into a villain, Lorelai Elffei the thief from a town of children who died and came back, Nemo (once more, but tiefling this time), Eseka the Halfling Monk/Bard performer in a circus (I THINK to melil, actually) who died and was restored, and Feverfew- the Drow Warlock of the Archfey.It had a pretty high character-swap-and-death rate. Feverfew the warlock died and became Patrin the Dragonborn Paladin who was then ALSO killed, and Kanseif the Human Barbarian Warrior Princess came about to replace him. Chrodechild turned evil and was replaced with Rhadha the crippled tiefling warlock who had made a deal with hags and had a long contract full of stipulations. Brill had to depart after character moments occurred and came back as Sylvienne Ghost- an Aasimar druid and Therapy Dog. There were further character swaps later on, but by the time they occurred the campaign had begun to grind to a halt.

Shards of the Past - A campaign run by a friend. The party was gathering the broken fragments of a rod of Manticores to fight back against the northern Empire. We were contracted by the queen to do so and BOY we sucked at it but we sure did win the war! A human paladin (whose name escapes me) with a lion-steed named Balthazar, Kestral the human Ranger-assassin (who had bird-themed names for her whole family it was rad), and my gnome Wizard Sullivan Orren du Ghislain-Ameritte III, who slowly descended towards lawful evil as the game progressed. It was a WILD romp. 

ThreaTTT - My second stab at DMing! The players awoke in prison after a night of wildly out-of-hand carousing and had to pay off their debt to society in service to Drann’s public. Mostly monster hunting and character-driven, the first introduction of The Timeless and Sliver of Moon! Party consisted of Tor (half-elf half-dwarf bard who was locked in an endless one-sided rivalry with Fortesque D’artigan- another half-elven bard), Risc Taxis (an assassin from the Talons, the southern Thieves and Assassin’s guild in Sendra, and an addict to Celadon- a opiate that stains fingers blue), and Atonement/Toni- an Aasimar Archfey warlock who was fleeing an engagement and was beholden to the whims of her 12 year old patron. They more or less made a thrash metal band by level 5, and Cera- a merfolk enchantress prostitute- joined up with them after a trip to the Stormlashed Sea. Her name didn’t fit the scheme, but she was loads of fun.

Pile of Idiots/Fortune’s Favor/Dumb Luck - You know this one, Muffin. ;P Comprised of a Fireball-Happy Endlessly-Curious sorcerer, an Extra As Shit 4 Elements Monk, the Queen of the Sea herself, The Worlds Best Bard, Smol Druid with Smol Doggo frond, and Beefest Lizard Tank, these idiots try and save the world- or at least get by.

Trees Beneath the Seas - A campaign that got very away from us, and where Moon received most of his character development. It was a huge party, which I think detracted a bit from the potential RP fun, but I got to be RECKLESS. We had Damon Pyre the Half-Elf-Half-Dragon Sorcerer, Durieal Durnam the OP monk that was killed by the weapon he carried, Saneva Amailo the hexblade warlock of Garagos and certified Edgelord Supreme, Quv the gnome-turned-elf rogue that left and whose player came back with Rue the Pumpkin Queen the human druid, Amaya Arissius the wood-elf Horizon Walker Ranger (who died and was reincarnated as a human), Verath the Dragonborn bard, Persephone O’Dougal the Canim forge cleric, Braugen Rowcron the dwarf barbarian who came back later as Satsuss the yuan-ti artificer, Arlow Rathers the paladin of Illmater and best baker the world has ever seen, Waruk Flamesong the half-orc wizard/cleric who sank the world, and finally Sliver of Moon who robbed, lied, and smooth-talked his way into and out of worlds of trouble as a swashbuckling rogue-fighter-paladin-sorcerer (we got to lvl 30 shit got WEIRD).

Harder Than We Thought - Thrush’s game! We played on the continent of Sivaan- slowly coming under siege by a power called The Parody that wanted to make the whole world just a liiiiiiiittle more interesting. Evelynn Mercado (Parsippany Olapieros) the half-elf blade-bard with ten tons of swagger in a ten ounce body who was looking for her father and making her own name in the world, Thrush Marigold the endlessly sunny sun-soul monk who was learning about his tiefling heritage while looking for his mother, Sir Tim the Halfling Hero For Hire Paladin who was making his tiefling lover and his son proud, Dune the bloodhunter with a Big Problem with hags, ‘The’ Wothe the more traditional halfling bard who was potentially about to be Thrush’s uncle by marriage, Perryn the Air Genasi Beastmaster Ranger and prankmaster general, and a dragonborn sorcerer I cannot recall the name of with terrible eyesight.

Punk! - A portal-fantasy run by our Innestrad DM, with a fantastic set up where he said he had to take a call during our session 0 and walked out. We then all got messages at the table saying he’d been replaced and to not trust him, and when he came back his whole body language was changed and then ‘sucked us into a portal’ via his tome of handbooks he got rebound into one HUGE book. We all played ourselves but better, and it was wild.

Umber Wilds/Aspiring Cryptids - One I’m currently running on mondays! A group of adventurers Doing Their Best. Audhilde Stoneforger is the Eldritch Knight and Battle Goddess who can leap up to 170 feet because I’ve broken my own will. Larken Delmare is the human shadow sorcerer who used to be an elf and came back wrong, she’s got ties to the first lands of Thielle and is dealing with Coming Back Wrong as best she can. Yseult Brighton is a water-genasi grave cleric with both Selune and Shar claiming portions of her soul, she’s been dubbed the World’s Okayest Cleric and is basically a fishbowl made of friendship. Lastly there’s Ekaterina Sheralova, a drow Gloomstaker Ranger with the most flamboyant fashion and cat-like personality whose family is probably going to wind up killing her or trying to.

17. What are some house rules that your group has?

BIG CRITS! You max your primary damage die and then roll the second, so you’re always hitting big when you get that nat 20! I have to beef so much health because of this.

Flanking - Instituted around the In-Person table: when you flank you get a +2 to hit, not advantage. It’s less OP that way.

29. Do you prefer RP heavy sessions or combat sessions?

Usually RP heavy sessions are my favorite thing, but sometimes you just want to hit something. XD I’ve found I really like a healthy dose of both, but I love it when the combat functions to fuel RP, so RP is probs my more favorite kind.

30. Are your players diplomatic or murder hobos?

They’ve trended more diplomatic! I’m grateful for it, and it’s neat seeing what pushes characters into ‘murder’ when they start out with diplomacy.

31. What is your favorite class? Favorite race?

Oh golly, probably Rogue or Paladin for favorite class, but Bard is up there too. I love versatility, and Rogue and Bard are skill monkey classes that are super fun. Paladin’s whole ‘strength from your belief in an ideal’ is also hella fun tho, I like it when paladins draw power from belief not in a god, but in a principle that guides them. Favorite race is harder, I don’t really have a favorite- but I know I dislike playing as Dragonborn, Aarakokra, and Lizardfolk personally. They’re just not for me, I think.

#dnd #long post #look at that wall of fucking text #sweet jesus

[moondustaeil]

BTS scenario: you take care of him after a bad day

BTS SCENARIOS: You take care of him after a bad day

SCENARIO: #3

REQUESTED: YES! Thanks for requesting

MEMBERS: ALL

A/N: sorry if this sucks, I’m in the middle of exams and couldn’t focus on studying so instead decided to write this now. Also, I couldn’t focus on this either and drifted away from the subject, sorry.

Seokjin

Jin would come home in a really bad mood, he wasn’t angry but more like sad. Using only small words to you, and you felt as if you had been talking to Yoongi even. But you didn’t know what had been going on and it all worried you even more when he didn’t want to eat anymore.

About 30 minutes after he walked in, you decided to ask him about his day so that you could find out what had been wrong. It didn’t take long before he had told you: “I can’t sing, I can’t dance. I don’t have any talent.”

The words shocked you and you knew he had probably read some hate on Twitter, though hate was made of pure lies. Your boyfriend was able to sing and was able to dance: he wasn’t the best dancer but still comparing to many other people in the world, he could dance.

That evening you decided to have dinner together and then head to your shared bedroom. Both of you decided to cuddle in bed, completely naked. You began to give small compliments, genuine compliments. Those compliments made him smile a little bit more every time he saw your lips moving to say another compliment.

The compliment spam lasted the entire night, even turned into “one million reasons why I love you”. Your Jin had changed his mood at the end, you noticed it when he fell asleep with a smile on his lips.

He didn’t care about hate, he only cared about love, your love.

Yoongi

Yoongi was more talkative when he came home, talkative but even more negative than other times. He had nothing good to say and rambled on about everything, yet not about what actually bothered him. 

You left him alone though, knew he wanted to be alone after his rant so that he could calm down a bit. Though after an hour of space, you decided to check up on him and found him looking at pictures. Pictures of his family, pictures of Holly, pictures of you and of him.

“the songs I write suck, right?” he asked as if it was the most normal thing to ask, it made you frown and immediately sit on the edge of the bed to look at him. His songs didn’t suck, he was great and you knew he loved it.

You gently wrapped your arms around him and decided to lay down with him, still looking at the pictures but now together. Sometimes he spoke about a memory, but you knew he was still stuck with his mind.

Yoongi looked at you when you sat up and smiled down at him, you suddenly thought of something. Something that often made you smile or even laugh, and you hoped that it would make your Yoongi laugh too. “min yoongi genius jjang jjang man boong boong” you then said, trying to actually sound like your boyfriend.

First it made Yoongi roll his eyes but soon he was laughing at your cuteness, then you got your smiley Yoongi back. As both of you started to say questionable things, but things that made you two laugh.

And that’s how you got him back, with some questionable things and of course him cuddling in your arms.

Hoseok

“I sing and rap like a child”

he said suddenly, no one asked him what was wrong but it was the first thing he said when he came home. Immediately catching your attention as you got up from the couch to listen.

He claimed how he didn’t like his own voice, or was it what the haters had been telling him? All that you knew was that it made him extra sad today, your sunshine was replaced by rainy clouds.

��You don’t, what are you talking about?” you claimed which made him sigh deeply in return and shake his head. He didn’t even feel like talking anymore because of the way his voice sounded but soon began to cry.

He was an emotional human being, and even if he usually was happy, he sometimes cried when feelings were overwhelming or when his mind was full of thoughts. 

Thus you took your beautiful boyfriend for a walk outside, it was nearing Christmas so you knew that it would be decorated outside. That and all of the distractions would calm his mind.

During the walk you two talked and admired the christmas lights and decorations at other places around, you saw him turn into that little sunshine again, but knew his mind was still filled with clouds. On the way you decided to stop at a small cafe: getting some muffins and hot chocolate for the both of you to enjoy.

You let out a happy sigh once you saw Hobi smiling and taking a sip of his hot chocolate, this was better than his sadness. “Hey! I should make a christmas rap and yes....Hobi’s x-mixtape” he said and laughed at his own joke, then pressed a kiss to your cheek.

You always knew what was best for him.

Namjoon

He broke nearly everything in his reach, and not on purpose but just because he didn’t know how to touch it anymore or paid little attention to it. This continued for a while: he had now broken a vase, a glass, a few pencils, one of his decorations for in the studio and probably his own heart. He thought he was a failure, not for a specific reason but he just thought he was a failure and a loser.

Around the evening you decided to hold his hands on the couch, so that he wouldn’t break anything but also so that he would be in a better mood. He was sad and just stared at nothing with that empty look in his eyes, he would try to hide it from you though but you knew him well enough.

After a while you began to gently run your nails or fingertips over his skin, which made his eyebrows furrow first. But then felt how it felt nice, almost like a tickling feeling but in the nice way that always made someone relax and just smile at it. Like a mini massage.

But you noticed how he liked it and gently started to continue, going from the skin of his hand to his arm. His eyes closing as he began to hum, unknowingly humming a BTS song. 

Without asking he turned on a movie you both enjoyed and crawled under a blanket with you, still letting you work your magic fingertips over the skin of his arm. Until he happily drifted off to sleep 

Jimin

Jimin was staring in the mirror, he told you not to go in the bathroom but you could see him from the bedroom anyways. He was staring in the mirror at his reflection.

Korean words falling from his lips in small mumbles, and it wasn’t hard to understand that he was talking about his own body. Everyone expected so much from him, or at least he thought so: ARMYs didn’t mind about his body, he was perfect the way he was but he felt the need to look perfect for them and for the rest of the world. 

You understood that it was a part of him and that you couldn’t change it, no matter how many times you would compliment him about his cuter chubby cheeks. 

But you decided to get up from the bed and walk towards your boyfriend, wrapping your arms around his waist from behind. “Complaining won’t help, tomorrow we will both do some light jogging and made a healthy salad” you whispered to him. He didn’t want help but he could use all of the support. 

“That seems like a good idea, gorgeous” he said and turned around to press a soft kiss to your lips. He knew he couldn’t cross the limit, that he had to eat every day every meal, that you would always have his back.

You would always love him, and he was grateful.

Taehyung

Ever since some people laughed at his fashion he was lost, he loved his clothes and thought they were unique, different and nice. But not everyone seemed to think that way.

He began to steal clothes from the others and wear them, but wasn’t himself if he did so. Because he missed being unique and himself, which then ended in him staying inside the place all the time: no one would have to see him in his weird clothes!

You noticed it all and decided of an idea, you wanted to cheer him up. And decided to start your plan as soon as he was forced to go out with the boys: creating a small stage in your room from pillows and printed out the Gucci logo together with some fitting music.

As he came home and into his room, he noticed it all but didn’t know what was going on. Until you appeared in his outfit and began to walk over the selfmade pillow catwalk.

Taehyung was confused but started to smile soon, he knew you liked him and his sense of fashion. It was also adorable to see how you were doing this, walking in his clothes and making a fashion show for him to smile again. And as your old Tae got back, he couldn’t help but join, singing along to the music as he walked on the pillows like a model, shining with his own clothes. 

He was unique, and unique shouldn’t be flawless, unique was more beautiful than perfect

Jungkook

He always had to be everything and always had to be able to do anything, he didn’t want this anymore. He was golden but wanted to be silver in something: learn and see how to get better at things.

It wasn’t nice to receive compliments without the effort of making himself shine, it all went with a snap of his fingers as if it was a spell that made him good at everything.

Over a few weeks you noticed his behaviour, how he began to lose interest because he was just able to do things that others found hard. He would lose interest and give up on finding new hobbies or things to do. 

One day he came home from filming an episode for ‘Run’ and saw you writing things down on a paper. He was focused on the small decorations you printed out and glued to the paper.

“Y/N, what’s that?” he asked but as soon as you showed him the paper, he smiled a little. You had spent your day making a bucket list of things you two could do and figure out together, they weren’t special things but they’d challenge him and make him go from bronze, to silver and to gold like he wanted. “You want me to fix a Rubik’s cube in 60 seconds?!” he asked with a laugh of surprise.

He liked the ideas you had written down, and liked how you always made sure that he was feeling good or that he was himself. And surely you two would make little challenges out of them.

#bts preferences #Bts #bts scenarios #bts imagines #bts fake texts #bts mtl #bts meme #bangtan #kpop #kpop scenarios #bts reactions #min yoongi #Yoongi #Suga #Jungkook #jeon jungkook #jimin #park jimin #V #kim taehyung #taehyung #kim namjoon #Namjoon #RM #kim seokjin #Jin #Jhope #jung hoseok #J-hope

[wellhellotragic]

If Looks Could Kill 19/27

Summary: Emma Swan is a dedicated FBI agent getting over a bad breakup. When she and her partner, Ruby Lucas, are forced to go undercover as contestants on a reality show, Emma is forced to try and win the affections of Killian Jones, a man she despises. Killian Jones is a lost boy. Having recently been nicknamed the ‘Bad Boy of Boston,’ he’s been living up to his moniker using women and rum to avoid dealing with his dark past. When he’s forced to take the lead in a reality show, he encounters a gorgeous blonde who turns his world upside down. Miss Congeniality meets The Bachelor

Rated: M for language, violence, and smut.

Catch up here: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18

Killian was nervous. He hadn’t seriously dated anyone in years, not even casually, yet here he was, about to go out on a slightly real- slightly fake date with Emma Fowler. He just needed to survive his morning date with Belle French first, without any extra prodding from David. Belle seemed like a sweet enough person, but even without his feelings for Emma, there was no spark between Belle and him. She was the kind of woman who needed an intellectual partner to throw dinner parties with, ones where people talked about literature and politics. She didn’t need him.

Mary Margaret had woken him early that morning, telling him that his team would be by shortly to get him ready. There was a book fundraiser coming up for the local children and they needed celebrities to come by and read to the children. The show’s producers thought it would be a nice way to get extra exposure for the show while helping those in need. It didn’t hurt that it was right up Belle’s alley as a bookworm and that it would translate nicely on film having her there.

His team arrived shortly and went to work, giving him just the right combination polished and devil-may-care. He couldn’t help but notice that the make-up artist, who in the beginning had blushed at just the sight of him, now seemed more bold. Her brush strokes went lower on his chest, and if he tried closing an extra button to prevent it, she would insist that he undo it again so she could do her job properly, telling him that it was for the best when it came to high angle shots.

He was counting down the days until all of this was done. Counting the days until he wouldn’t have to sit in a makeup chair, or get wardrobe fittings. He was counting down until he was finished going on fake dates and playing everything up for the cameras. Counting down until he could take Emma out on a real date, until he could hold her hand in public. Counting down every last second until he could have his life back.

Unfortunately, for all of his counting and daydreaming, Emma still wasn’t guaranteed to win. The idea of having to fake-propose to another woman, to fake-plan a wedding and to continue fake- dating her for six months after the competition made his stomach sour. He needed Emma to win. He needed Emma.

With all of his camera prep finished, Mary Margaret made her way back to his cottage to pick him up in her golf cart. The sun was already high above them, casting a warmth that had Killian grateful that his team opted for a more casual look.

Belle was already waiting by the car and the camera began rolling the moment he stepped off of Mary Margaret’s cart. He gave her a proper greeting, not completely put off by the idea of spending the day with her doing a good deed. They gave each other a chaste hug before stepping into the limo.

Just as before, they had to do multiple takes, which quelled any fear Killian might have over David’s intentions between him and Belle. It also helped that Belle wasn’t sexually aggressive like some of the women. He felt oddly comfortable around her, like she was an old friend.

The ride to the children’s museum where the reading was taking place was filled with easy conversation. He and Belle discussed her background; she was originally from France, but her father had moved her to the states not long after her mother had passed away. Killian understood the feeling of losing someone dear and having to start over. She explained that her father had read to her every night as a child and she had fallen in love with books. So much so, in fact, that she had become a librarian. For his part, Killian kept mum about his beginnings.

The museum was garish, even by Killian’s standards. He had expected to find something more like the London museums, but instead found a red monstrosity before him.

“This is, er, um, unique,” he sputtered out.

Belle chuckled. “I take it you haven’t been to many museums?”

If it had been any other person, Killian might have taken it as an insult, but coming from Belle, he knew it was just a blank statement.

“No, I’ve been to plenty, actually. I didn’t have many friends as a child so I’d spend as much time as I could at the Natural History Museum.” He could feel the pity radiating off of her in waves at the mention of his lonely childhood. “What I meant, though, was that I expected something a little more historic and ornate. Not something quite so modern.”

“Ah, I see. You would like the Boston Museum of Fine Arts, then. The children’s museum was renovated about ten years ago and looks completely different now.”

Killian nodded along as they ascended the stairs.

Just before they entered, David and his camera crew went inside to film their entrance while Mary Margaret gave them instructions.

“Okay, here we are. Luckily for you two, we’re taking a much more tame approach to this section of filming since we’re around young, impressionable children and their families. There won’t be any groping or other drama.”

Mary Margaret had a slightly mischievous gleam in her eyes as she spoke.

“Now, I shouldn’t need to remind the two of you that, children’s museum or not, this is still a dating show and we need you two to at least pretend to be interested in something more than casual conversation. Make eyes at each other from time to time.”

They were escorted into what looked to be a conference room where even more cameras were set up for press releases. Flashes were going off from all directions and Killian felt uneasy being under the watchful eye of the media. Even when things had been good, a part of him had always been uncomfortable with that aspect of his career. After everything had gone to hell, and Killian had begun drinking a bottle a night, he’d found himself even less inclined to care for them, as his face became plastered to every magazine cover in what Regina had called ‘compromising situations’.

Belle must have sensed his discomfort. She leaned over to him and placed her hand on his shoulder as she whispered in his ear.

“Shut them out of your head. Just focus on the children. It’ll help, I promise.”

There was such kindness and compassion in her face and Killian couldn’t help but wonder why Belle was even taking part in the competition. Just because he didn’t feel a spark didn’t mean that she wasn’t a catch.

She grabbed his left hand and, while he still felt a small tingle, it wasn’t the normal sharp stabbing pain that he usually got when someone touched it.

Emma let herself sleep in for the first time in as long as she could remember. The events of the previous day had left her emotionally drained. Thinking she was going to lose Killian had forced her to admit that he meant something. It was too late to shut him out. Talking to Ruby had been another taxing experience, despite her approval.

Emma didn’t handle strong emotions well. That had been part of why her relationship with Walsh had lasting as long as it had. He hadn’t inspired heart-rushing, stomach-twisting, anxious excitement the way Killian did. Walsh was supposed to have been the safe guy that she could come home to after work. She had cared about him in a way should couldn’t explain. He had been the first guy she had let in after Neal. It hadn’t been true love but she had been comfortable with him, and she had thought that that would be enough.

After last night though, Emma was forced to admit that whatever she was feeling for Killian put her feelings for Walsh to shame. It was too early to be in love, basic logic told her that. But even so, it felt awfully close to love. She would have to shake that thought free from her mind, though. She had only maybe been in love once before, and it had been an epic disaster. Comparing the two was treading dangerously close to dark territory.

“Hey, did you want to go to the RV and watch their date?” Ruby cringed as soon as the words were out of her mouth. “Or is that too weird?”

Emma thought about it. The idea of watching Killian with Belle wasn’t thrilling, but given Belle’s sweet demeanor, she doubted it would be anything like his date with Tink. Emma’s interactions with Belle, while brief, had been nothing short of calming. Belle was kind, intelligent, and wise beyond her years, even if she was a bit shy.

‘Um, ya. Just let me get dressed first. Is there anything still left of breakfast or is it all gone already?”

Emma made her way into the bathroom to change and brush her teeth and to pin up her hair. She had her own date with Killian later that evening and didn’t want to put in too much effort when she was just going to have to get ready again later. She left the door slightly cracked open so she could hear Ruby.

“I’m not sure. Everyone’s been a little crabby this morning and keeping to themselves, so I don’t think many people have made it down to the kitchen yet. Want me to go check for you?”

As much as Emma appreciated Ruby’s offer, she knew that she’d only receive a bran muffin or something as equally healthy and flavorless.

“Thanks but I’ll just swing by there on our way out, if you don’t mind.”

Emma finished getting ready and joined Ruby. It was eerily quiet in the mansion with only one or two people milling around. The girls passed Tamara on their way to the kitchen, her Captain Crunch box and milk bowl in tow. The only other person out and about was Ariel. Emma was more than happy to avoid her as she rummaged through the remaining breakfast offerings.

She grabbed a bear claw and wrapped it up in a napkin. Ruby gave her a pointed stare, obviously judging her affinity for sugary treats.

“What?” Emma shrugged. “It’s the easiest thing to take with me.”

Ruby shook her head in disapproval before pushing her back to the hallway, but Emma could see the amusement she was trying to hide.

“Come on. Killian and Belle should be there already.”

“Oh,” Emma mumbled with a mouthful of pastry, remembering an earlier thought. “I forgot! What would you say to having a little bit of fun at Will’s expense?”

Ruby gave Emma one of her famous wolfish grins. “What did you have in mind?”

“Revenge.”

On the walk to the RV, Emma filled Ruby in about Will’s reaction to Belle during the poolside date, and the way he’d mooned over her every time she’d been in the camera’s line of site. She also reminded her of the way Will had mercilessly teased her every chance he’d gotten.

It only took a full three seconds after they entered the RV for Ruby to pounce into action.

“Emma, you have to come see this. Look at how great Killian and Belle look together. Oh em gee. Could you even imagine how beautiful their babies would be?”

Emma forced herself to smile. She knew that Ruby meant nothing by it, but she wasn’t keen on imagining Killian having children with someone else - not that she was ready to imagine him having them with her yet either. Luckily she was saved by Robin, who seemed quick to catch on to the way Ruby kept looking back and forth between the screen and Will.

“You know, I think she may be right.”

Will groaned to himself quietly.

“Maybe the next time you guys go to visit him you should hint that he pick her.”

Emma watched as Will silently rolled his eyes. She couldn’t help but feel a bit lighter watching him squirm in his chair and she was just about to start weighing whether or not that made her a horrible person when something occurred to her. In that moment, it was just her and her team again. It wasn’t about keeping Killian alive, gathering evidence on the Tamara, or even researching who had hired her. For just that moment, they were four friends hanging out.

She had dedicated so much of herself to work, even during the worst of it, that she had forgotten what it was like to just have fun. For the first time since joining the FBI, Emma was admitting to herself that there was more to life then work. And a small part of her also realized that she wanted that ‘more’ to include Killian.

As if right on cue, Killian and Belle smiled at each other on the screen in front of Will. He mumbled something that sounded a lot like wanker under his breathe. Ruby and Robin continued to poke fun at Will’s expense, but Emma was captivated by the footage flashing in front of her.

Ruby had had a point earlier; Killian and Belle looked right together. Killian seemed relaxed with Belle in a way he hadn’t been with anyone else, herself included. He didn’t look guarded.

His face lit up as they read to the children, and even though Emma was happy to see him engaged and finally enjoying himself, she felt a twinge of worry. Part of her wondered if she was too broken to ever be as light as Belle was. He deserved better.

Before she could dwell on it too long, she felt a hand clasping around hers. It was Ruby. Emma may have had what Ruby called a superpower when it came to detecting lies, but Ruby had her own superpower. She always seemed to know exactly what she was thinking and when she needed her most. Ruby gave her hand a light squeeze before releasing it.

Emma went to the other side of the RV to do more research, hoping it would distract her. There was something about the surveillance footage that she was missing. She could feel it in her gut. She managed to get through roughly an hour of pieced together video, coming no closer to solving whatever it was that she was missing, when Ruby called out to tell her that the date was ending.

“What the hell did ‘e do that for?” Will’s voice was nearly a yell.

“What happened?” Emma had an idea of what had upset him, and she wasn’t sure that she wanted to hear it out loud.

Emma closed all of the files she was looking at but remained seated. She didn’t want to watch Killian kiss Belle at the end of the date, which was generally expected from the viewing audience.

“The egit just sent her home,” Will growled.

“What?” Her voice came out a higher pitch than she had expected.

Emma stood up just in time to see Will flick the switch for the microphone on.

“Oi, what’s he think he’s doin’?”

“I think it’s fairly obvious.” Ava’s voice was a rushed whisper over the speakers.

“I get that. What I meant was why’s the wanker sending the lady home? I didn’t think he got a say.”

“Scarlet, if you were doing your job and listening in, you would know that I made the call.”

“Ruddy hell, lass. Have you lost yer mind?”

“Will!” Three voice rang out in unison.

“Agent Scarlett. You would do well to remember that my undercover assignment involves more than just watching girls traipse around like a voyeur. Some of us have to remain in character, and for me, that means making executive decisions the way a real producer would. The only chemistry they shared was that of friends, and that isn’t going to bring in ratings.”

Ava may have been small, but she was mighty, and her dressing down of Will had him completely shamed, if the blush filling his face with was any indication. Even after being properly chewed out and knowing he was in the wrong, Will’s pride prevented him from apologizing, much to the chagrin of everyone in the RV.

“It’s not all bad, mate,” Robin started as he squeezed Will’s shoulders.

“How so?”

“Look at it this way. Now she’s free and unattached. You know her interests and where she works. Maybe you should pop in after this and try to strike up a conversation when this is all over.”

Will crossed his arms and laid them on the console in front of him before dramatically throwing his head down and letting out an exasperated sigh.

“As creepy as that sounds, maybe it’s not the worst idea.” Ruby moved to lean on the console next to him.

Will lifted his head to look at her with bewilderment.

“I’m not saying that you should use all of our research and go in, guns blazing, with ill gotten knowledge. But talk to her. Get to know her.”

Will rolled his eyes at her.

“Well how about this, then. If you’re not going to do anything about it, I will.”

“Ruby, don’t you dare talk to her about me.”

“You? I meant me , you idiot.”

Emma watched as both Will and Robin perked up.

“What?” Ruby teased, taking in their aghast expressions, “She’s hot! And you forget, Scarlett; I live in that house. I’ve seen things that you could only imagine.” She raised her eyebrows and bit her lip, leaving Will’s mouth hanging open.

Robin looked equally as shocked.

“Come on, Swan. We need to get back and start getting you ready for your own date.”

Ruby didn’t wait for a response before tugging Emma out of the RV and back to the mansion.

Children were exhausting. Even with Belle there to help him entertain them, he could feel his energy draining with each passing moment. The only thing that kept him even somewhat alert was knowing that soon he’d see Emma again.

The ride back with Belle had been slightly awkward. Neither one of them were disappointed with Mary Margaret’s decision, though; Killian felt it was better to let her go now, not wanting to give her false hope, and he sensed her heart hadn’t exactly been all in either.

“She really is lovely, you know.”

They were almost back to the mansion, where Belle would grab her bags and depart again.

“I’m sorry, what?”

He had been so caught up in his own thoughts that he wasn’t sure that he had heard her correctly.

“I know what the other girls say about her, but the truth it that she’s a lovely person. I hope she makes you happy.” Belle gave him a knowing smile.

Killian was at a loss for words, but he was fairly certain that the warmth he felt crawling up his neck and face were speaking volumes on his behalf.

The town car pulled up to the mansion and Killian got out first before offering a hand to Belle to help her out. The small film crew filed out after them and quickly headed back into the main house. Before she could disappear into the house too, Killian gave her one last hug.

“I hope you find someone who makes you happy.” He meant it.

They bid each other farewell, promising to keep in touch. Belle made her way in to collect her belongings and Killian started his walk back to the guesthouse, not wanting to wait for Mary Margaret to drive him back. He wanted some time to clear his head. The anticipation of going on a date with Emma had frazzled his nerves.

He had hoped to get a nap in before his date, but when he made it back to the guest house and found his style team waiting for him, all illusions of that were shattered. There was an array of suits hanging around the living room and his hair stylist, make-up artist, and clothing stylist were all arguing over which one would look best.

In the end, his stylist won out with a three piece navy suit, stating that it would bring out the blue in his eyes. After his clothing had been settled, hit hair stylist went to work giving him a messy, blown-out look while his make-up artist applied what felt like twenty layers of foundation, bronzer, and blush, giving him a new appreciation for everything women went through on a daily basis.

There was a small knock at the door, and everyone in the room turned just in time to watch Mary Margaret poke her head in.

“Are you ready?”

“I thought we had twenty more minutes!” The make-up artist’s shriek nearly blasted out his ear drum.

“Oh, um, sorry. We just want to leave early in case there’s traffic.”

The girl worked furiously, cursing quietly to herself as she set to work. When she was finished, Killian dressed as fast as he could and found Mary Margaret. They didn’t speak until they pulled up to the main house.

“I thought we were leaving. Where is everyone?”

“Oh, they’ll be along eventually. I know how hard all of this can be and I thought you might like it if there weren’t a bunch of cameras around when you and Emma saw each other.”

With that, she took her leave back into the mansion and Killian was left to wait. Five excruciatingly long minutes later, he heard the sounds of gravel crunching beneath someone's feet.

He hadn’t been prepared for the sight before him as he turned to face her. She was a vision in a pale pink dress. Her hair had been tied back into a high ponytail, showcasing her long neck; the same neck he wanted to latch his mouth to. She seemed equally stunned. Her eyes were blown wide and her mouth opened and closed but she didn’t say anything.

“Emma. You look-” He couldn’t find a word that accurately described how beautiful she looked.

One corner of her mouth turned upwards.

“I know. You clean up pretty well yourself.”

As she spoke, each of them had unknowingly taken a few steps toward each other. He could feel the warmth of her breath fluttering across his cheeks. Both of them angled their heads slightly as they leaned in closer together, and he watched as her eyelids fluttered closed in anticipation.

Killian’s heart began to speed up and he felt like his chest might burst. It had been years since he had felt the exhilaration that came from something as simple as a kiss, and as he moved his lips ever so closer to hers, he wondered if he’d be able to hold himself together if something more were to happen.

They were close, [as close as any two people could be just before contact], which of course meant that that was the exact moment David decided to walk outside with the rest of the camera crew. Both Killian and Emma took a large step away from each other, and he immediately missed the warmth radiating from her body.

He had been a fool. Killian had worked up this perfect amazing idea in his head of what his date would be like with Emma, but David’s pointed stare was enough to remind him that none of this was real. He wasn’t going on an actual date, not a proper one at least. Mary Margaret gave him a sad smile as if to apologize for the interruption.

He was certain that most of their interactions would be scripted, and a part of him was terrified that David would try to get Emma sent home. There was a level of curiosity that had built up in the back of his mind, wondering what David could have possibly read that had made him so weary of Emma.

Just as Killian had predicted, David insisted that the filming of their greeting be as absolutely platonic as possible. For her part, Mary Margaret looked quite put out by the man, and if Emma noticed the tension, she didn’t show it. In fact, Emma seemed to make sure that the she and he brushed up against each other as much as possible.

The ride to the opening of the gallery exhibit had been even more awkward than his ride home with Belle earlier. David kept giving them evil side glances and made sure that any conversation had between them remain superficial.

When they arrived at the gallery, Killian stepped out first, helping Emma out as well with complete disregard for David’s instructions. The man was treading on dangerously thin ice as far as Killian was concerned. After the camera crew had disembarked from the town car, they all made their way into the brightly lit studio only to find it empty.

Mary Margaret explained to both of them that she had made a deal with the gallery owners to arrive an hour before the opening so that they could film a few things uninterrupted. She and the film crew went to the other side of the studio to start setting up the equipment, finally leaving him alone with Emma.

She took full advantage of the wall blocking everyone's view, attacking his lips with hers, but she pulled back just as quickly, leaving Killian to chase after her retreating form. He managed to pull her into a hug though, and she buried her face into his shoulder.

“What do you say, love. Should we tell David to sod off?”

#If Looks Could Kill #ILCK #wellhellotragic #hellotragic #cs ff

[junes-journey]

do you think a bowl of salad + chicken breast is a good place to start with eating clean? i add some lemon pepper and just a little dressing for extra flavor

I think I’m overthinking this question a little bit, but I just had to get this out here.And also, I am in no way a fitness guru or a nutrition expert, so please don’t read my words as laws. 

Salads sucks man…

Maybe you love salads and think they are the best thing ever, but I’m going to answer as for myself, then maybe you agree with some of it. On a personal note. No, I don’t think that is a good place to start. For some weird reason I hate lettuce. The taste, the feeling in my mouth, but mostly I think it might be a mental thing. I feel deprived, and like I’m missing out I guess. 

I mostly just eat a salad with some chicken or other stuff if I’m planning on treating myself to some chocolate or cake in the afternoon, to save up macros. So I’m just offering some thoughts and ideas here.

Is it a good place to start?

I think eating clean/ Being healthy starts from the inside out. It start by loving your body and yourself enough to understand that it deserves to be treater better. It deserves to be given clean and healthy fuel, and to get stronger and healthier. That you in your mind believe you can this, and that you deserve to improve yourself.

From there I would start by not changing anything at all, but just analyze your own habits. What are you eating now. What is healthy habits, and what is really bad for you. Where is it the easiest to make changes? How does what you eat make you feel. Mentally, and physically. Make a plan on the changes you want to make. Exactly how are you going to make this work? Don’t just start on day one and try to do your best. Have a gameplan. That is how we win the game.

Do you want to follow a certain work out plan. Focus on Cardio? Weights? Zumba? Yoga? Do you want to try IF. (Fasting) Low carb? Counting Macros? Do you want a cheat day? Plan it out!

Is it healthy to eat a salad?

I know.. from personal experiences.. that when you want to lose weight, you tend to eat less, and only the stuff you know/think is really healthy. But in order to have a healthy and sustainable weight loss you should try to keep the same amount of calories per day. (I also track macros. Carbs+Fat+Protein, Message me if you want more info on that)

A lot of people start out eating way to few calories by only choosing low calorie products, and the body is feeling deprived. You might get worse cravings, you body might hold on to fat because it thinks its entering a time of famine. (Your body is trying to keep your energy and resources for when you’re starving later) 

So make sure you don’t eat just salads, and walk around hungry. I eat about 1670 calories per day, and losing weight just fine. There are several websites helping you find the calories you should have per day. Less is not always better. So yes, a salad is healthy, but you can’t live on salads.

Be creative! Keep your options open!

I’m somewhat a picky eater. I don’t like cereals, I don’t like bread, and I don’t like salads. I tolerate them at times, but eating it every day? Gosh now. So when I wanted to eat healthy, I needed to get creative, and I looked around for options. So here in the end, I just wanted to give you some! These can all be healthy if you just made good choices. 

Breakfast/Lunch (I use them as both)

Banana Pancakes w/ berries (Mix 1 Banana + 1 Egg)

Smoothie bowl with granola

Tomato&Avocado Sandwich

Mashed hardboiled eggs mixed with Mayo. Add salt&Pepper (Great on bread)

Scrambled Eggs

Oatmeal 

Taco Salad

Healthy muffins

Leftovers (Because lazy.. duuh!)

Dinner

Naad bread with Chicken&Tomato&Onion&Avocado

Different types of stird fry

Salads

Homemade pizzas

Tacos

Chicken&Sweet potatoe

Baked Fish or Chicken + Basked Veggies

Homemade burgers

Stews 

Leftovers

Treats

Fruits&Berries (Will taste sweeter as you cut down your sugar intake)

Avocado choclate mousse 

Sorbet

Protein bars 

Nuts and seeds 

I hope this helped! And good luck on your journey! 

#fitblr #fitblrs #fitness #weight loss #losing weight

[dreaming-flutterby]

Perk-O-Late

A Captain Swan Coffee Shop Modern AU

Rated M (because they just can’t help themselves!)

Emma Swan didn’t do cute. Not even a little bit. So the fact that she’d changed her routine over the past four weeks to grab her morning drink from the newly-opened and absurdly-named Perk-O-Late had nothing to do with the designs dusted on top of the frothy drinks. Nope. No way. Hot chocolate with cinnamon dusted across the surface in the shape of - yes, fine, a freakin’ swan - was not why she’d jumped - completely without reason - into a monogamous relationship with the new cafe. And obviously, her immediate devotion to this place had less than nothing to do with the barista who greeted her each morning. The (fucking hot) barista who handed the steaming cup to her each day had NO impact on her choice to exclusively patronize the newest local establishment. She was merely being a team player, ingratiating herself (finally) to a place that felt like...well, that felt like...home. And if the black-haired blue-eyed man who gave her a smirk nearly as (or maybe a bit more?) delicious than her morning cocoa had even a bit of an influence on her morning choices, well...no one really needed to know that, now did they?

CHAPTER 1

Killian Jones was beyond intrigued.

Eyes were supposed to be blue or brown or green or hazel. They weren’t supposed to burn a perpetual flame-green or settle into a nearly black haze when darkening with...something. (Desire, gods above, he bloody hoped it was desire that was shading her eyes when she peered directly into his soul while simply ordering a hot - oh, fuck yes, a hot beverage on his morning shift. And okay, fine, if he moved to having nothing more than a tall glass of ice cold water after he saw her each day, well, who cared? Hydration was very important to him. Oh, yes...hydration was very important to maintain certain...abilities… Oh, gods, he couldn’t begin to consider what his thoughts meant...)

Or, you know, maybe she just really liked her morning cocoa. The particular recipe they used at Perk-O-Late was spectacular, if he did say so himself. He was in no way expressing his healthy ego in that sentiment. While he and his dimples and blue eyes and (just a tad too) unbuttoned shirts were a major draw to bring in the interested young women - and old women, if he’s being truthful - it was the quality of the beverages and pastries that kept people returning the cafe. While his sister-in-law Elsa had been well-past worried that another cafe wouldn’t thrive in the tiny, already well-caffeinated town of Storybrooke, her family had been able to convince her that her venture would be successful since she’d be providing inarguably the best products for the tiny hamlet and its surrounding areas. And while it may be true that they’d been open to the public less than a month, the immediate surge of customers from the moment Elsa had flipped the sign to “Welcome!” seemed to be an accurate prediction for the days, weeks, and years ahead. In short, Perk-O-Late was already a booming business, bound to become a Storybrooke staple as it dug in its roots with warm muffins, strong coffee, and unique combinations of both the baked and brewed varieties.

It certainly helped that it was almost entirely a family affair. Elsa was not only the primary baker and drink magician, but she was also co-owner. Her partner in the business was her husband, one Liam Jones who’d managed to rope his little (“oi, how many times do I have to tell you -- it’s younger?”) brother into working behind the counter during the cooler months when the KJ Nautical Excursion tour boat company’s business dwindled. Killian found some relief in knowing that he wasn’t the only sibling who’d been recruited; Elsa’s sister, Anna, was the primary server/cashier/ray of sunshine. While Anna’s outgoing personality could be overwhelming at times, her fiance Kristoff, the delivery/maintenance man, was there to calm her down when she was overcome by the tsunami of personality. They’d also been lucky to get relatively cheap labor in two hardworking teenagers, Henry and Violet. (And it didn’t hurt that they were clearly crushing hard on one another, so they were always eager to grab extra hours at minimum wage...as long as the other would be there, of course.)

So at the end of each day, Killian genuinely recognized the ties that were binding him to his part-time work: devotion to family, belief in the product, and a desire to bring small bit of happiness to each and every consumer (and if he wanted to bring a large bit of happiness to one particular consumer, well, no one really needed to know that, now did they?)

*****************************************************

“Uh, Emma?”

The unusually reserved greeting of one Mary-Margaret Nolan threw Emma off her stride. She’d been walking into the office building with her typical swagger, her typical bravado, when the tiny woman with the delicate features and close-cropped mahogany hair stopped her with all the elegance of a freight train. Mary-Margaret was nothing if not, well, obnoxiously polite and sweet and accommodating. So the fact that she was suddenly a vocal connoisseur of Emma’s preferred morning beverage was more than a little off-putting.

Emma skidded (like, honestly, her boots squeaked against the pretentiously shiny flooring) to a stop, thrown off-kilter by the underwhelmingly calm intrusion of her friend.

(And no, ok? Her typical strut was NOT interrupted by her continual thoughts of a particular customer-service wizard, the absolutely gorgeous man who’d been handing her a cup of cocoa for nearly a month with a smile that bordered on dangerous and eyes that defied any rational definition of the word blue because, honestly, no one in real life actually looked like that, you know? So...so what if she was a bit distracted? Only because it was unnatural and weird and not at all because she had any interest in dropping her panties to hand to him as a daily tip...nope, nopity-nope.)

“Hey, Mary-Margaret. What’s up?” If she’d been going for casually cool, she’d failed in the most dramatic of ways.

Mary-Margaret grinned, yet had the grace not to call her out (yet...they both knew it was

only a matter of time). “Sorry, hon, I didn’t mean to distract you.” Liar. Yes she did. They both knew it. “I just wanted to make sure that you remembered we’re having dinner tomorrow night at our house. David has been going on and on about missing his deputy ever since she jumped ship to work for an investigative newspaper.”

Emma laughed, appreciating Mary-Margaret’s delicate (for her) foray into the topic. “Is that right? I suppose it has nothing to do with the fact that his little sister is taking a different path than the one traditionally followed by the Nolans, hm?”

Mary-Margaret giggled, biting her lip to hold back any of the more aggressive comments David (Emma’s brother...Mary-Margaret’s husband…did either distinction really matter..?) had made about the situation. “Oh, Emma...you know he’s proud of you no matter what, right? It’s just, well,” Mary-Margaret bit her lip before going on, “I think he always expected that things would work a bit differently with you.”

At those words, Emma deflated. “So he thought I’d fall in line just like all the rest of them? Is that right?” Emma tried to avoid it, but she couldn’t help the way that her armor immediately began to creep its way across her.

“Oh, Emma, no, it’s not that at all!” Mary-Margaret reassured. “David loves you. He considers you family -- no question. And he doesn’t want you to feel defensive; he wants you to feel safe.”

At those words, Emma allowed herself to feel. To genuinely feel. And if she pulled an extra bit of strength from the reassurance provided by Mary-Margaret and the deliciously calming feeling provided by the most incredible hot chocolate she’d ever tasted, that was fine. (And if the sinfully yummy man who’d handed her that hot chocolate made a difference, well, who was she to argue?)

#captain swan #ouat fanfiction #cs fandom #modern au

[charlescandles]

Goldrush 50k an Ultra-culinary experience

So, this was my 3rd 50k and coming form finishing my 1st 100 miler race earlier this year I was feeling confident about being able to complete this event. The Goldrush 50k held at Uwharrie National park area with an un-relented course of constant up and down, mixed in with rocks, roots, creek crossings, loose rocks and very minimal flat sections that will make you reconsider your choices for adventure. With names like Sasquash Hill, Soul Crusher Hill, and Hallucination Hill, it is definitely going to provide you with an excellent challenge to prove yourself. The event is on the same day as the Uwharrie 100 and 100K events, making optimal to see many runners and enjoy the experience.

The morning routine was the same as per many other events, but today for some reason I forgot to do my bolus adjustment for breakfast and my sugars were high and trending higher while I was driving to the start of the event. I did the adjustment hoping they will get back to normal at least during the 1st few files of the event.

Got to the starting event area with plenty of time to relax and last preparation activities. I use the portapotty one more time and set my pump auto mode in temp mode for 8 hours. This will have my pump to adjust basal and target 150 instead of the 90 reading average glucose reading. I grabbed my bib and goodies bag, as I was getting ready to put my bib on, I realize that there was a message printed on the back of the bib. That was a nice detail from Dan and Amanda regarding the event and wishing runners good luck. Very nice detail!

Miles 1-6 – Easy start, quickly found me with a group of runners that were holding a good pace. Running the downhills and the short flats and walking the uphills. They were all having a good conversation, making sure that we did not press too hard during the early stages of the event since it was going to be a long day. A pace hovering around 13:30 average pace, still a little bit faster than my past three training runs at Uwharrie but it felt comfortable, perhaps due to the great weather we were getting at the start of the race. I continue to hang with the group all the way to the Aid station.

1st Aid Station stop – Holy Tamales! As you approach, about 100 meters from the aid station, you could see a whiteboard welcoming you to the aid station. If you looked closely you were able to see the main menu. Yes, a menu. Similar when you enter a restaurant or dinner that instructs you to either wait to be seated or find a stop, and there will be jotted down the specials for the day. I knew then that I had to try a few things. I know, I know, “Don’t try anything new at race day” that includes your fuel plan. But how could I miss this opportunity? All sounded and smelled delicious and awesome. I was not going to have another unique opportunity like this one. There were waffles with syrup and bourbon syrup, some special recipe muffins, oh my! Of course, there were tons of great other normal and usual items, bananas, candy, cookies and many types to drink. I tried to play it safe and went for the waffle with bourbon syrup and some bacon. It was amazing!

Miles 7-11 – I headed down back to the start line to finish the lower loop. I kept a decent pace for the downhills and definitely walked all the uphills. This section has a few challenging hills, but there is a semi-long hill, which at the start looks like an ok hill, until halfway the distance, it becomes more challenging. As you cross that midpoint you could see the sign warning you that you are about to go through Allucination Hill. I powered through the hill with some effort, but it was not as bad as I thought it was going to be, compared to my training runs and perhaps since it was still very early in the event. A few more hills, some additional decorative items as you are getting close to the Start/Finish line aid station letting you know that you are getting very close. At this time my pace stayed consistency around 14:00 minute mile.

2nd Aid Station stop – Another well-stocked station, there was plenty to eat and drink. As I arrive I saw Scott preparing some delicious veggie wraps for the runners, more bacon and goodies. I opted again for more bacon since the food at the last aid station settled well during the run and for some reason, bacon sounded good.

Miles 12-17 – This was the second time going over these parts of the course. After taking advantage of the 1st somewhat flat mile, I slowed down and took my time during the uphill. I notice that I started to get a hot spot on the bottom of my left foot. At the end of one of the hills, around mile 16, I stopped and tied my shoe better, to minimize the friction created from my foot sliding inside. Since there was so much of going up and down and I did not want it to get a blister too early in the event I decided to address it early. This was on the learnings during my preparation runs for the 100-mile event earlier this year. Tackle the issues quickly as they come and adjust. I still had many miles to go. That worked, and after a few miles, I noticed less sliding and no hot spots due to the friction. Sugars were within range but trending slightly down, I took a gel even though I have been fueling with my energy drink. This I did to keep my reading within a healthy range.

3rd Aid Station stop – I am back to the crossroad aid station, stopped again to admire the whiteboard and to my surprise, they have already switched to a lunch menu option. What?!!!! lunch menu? Shrimp Pasta, more bacon cheddar muffins, Granny Smith Dijon Grilled Cheese Sandwiches, how can I not try some of that?!!! I opted for a cheese turkey and chili paste sandwich, it was delicious. I also tried the steak on a stick, with the same delicious results, it was amazing. My friend Vasu was there taking pictures of the event and runners. I replenished my energy drink and off I went. All that food settled well with no problem.

Miles 18-20 – This next section had two of the most challenging climbs of the event. 1st was Sasquash Hill, an insane incline over boulders and rocks. It is a short hill, but steep enough that will slow your pace to snail pace. You definitely feel very accomplished after reaching the crest of the hill. Just enough time to take a breather and keep going. There were lots of hikers, boys scouts, and youth groups in the different camping areas. They were cheering for the runners and providing words of encouragement. Soul Crusher Hill was next, long switchback hill that you have to take very seriously. I tackle it with patience, stopping twice to take a breath. I checked my sugars just in case and they were good and within range. I was a little bit disappointed since during the two training run sessions I was able to steadily hiked the hill without stopping. I guess I was starting to feel tired. As I was approaching the last mile towards the next Kelly’s Kitchen aid station, I tripped and feel down. I was very fortunate that is was not in a rocky or hard surface area. I was able to roll into the fall and minimize the impact. With my ego slightly bruised I stood up and continued toward the aid station.

4th Aid Station stop – Similar to the Cross Roads aid station this station, Kelly’s Kitchen aid station did not disappoint. The volunteers were fantastic, they re-filled my energy drink bottle and my hydration vest with water while I was getting something to eat. There was so much good food, I went for oranges wedges and a half of a Bacon Cheese Quesadilla that was spot on. It was great to see the volunteers and the family members of other runners, especially the 100 miles runners.

Miles 21-26 – Left the aid station energized and powered by quesadillas. I felt good, just tired. The course back to the crossroad aid station is not bad. Just relentless ups and downs that made it impossible to find a good running zone. By this time my pace was slowing down considerably. I felt just a little bit lightheaded, so I checked my CGMS and sugar were within range but hovering on the lower side. I took another gel to make sure they stay within range. Although the plan was to walk the uphills, I found myself walking some of the gentle inclines and stopping a couple of times to catch my breath. Still, I was really enjoying the event and the trail.

5th Aid Station stop – The lunch menu was still being served. This was good because I decided to try the Granny Smith Dijon Grilled Cheese sandwich that I could not try at my previous stop. The sound of it might not be too appetizing but since I heard that it was surprisingly good during one of the training runs when I got the opportunity to talk with Vinny Swendsen the aid station captain. I did not want it to miss that opportunity. It did not disappoint, the combination of the cheese, apple and mustard created a weird (in a good way) flavor. I would have loved to try more things but I needed to keep going to finish the race. It was taking me too long already and I knew my pace was not going to improve since I was already feeling very tired.

Miles 27 to Finish – These last few miles were a good challenge. I was trying to power through the uphills with somewhat success. Definitely faster than miles 21-26, but still basically averaging around 16:30 per mile. I found myself tackling Hallucination Hill pretty decently, not at a great hiking pace but made good progress. I was able to see a few rocks on the ground (Actually there are plenty of rocks on the ground) and decided to send a picture to my wife with one of them. She loves to paint and recently she has been painting on different surfaces, like rocks. I call my rock, little Uwharrie Pet Rock. A group of runners caught up with me and as they passed me I decided to hang with them. We talked for a few miles, which got my mind away from the race and in training run mode state. As we were getting close to the finish line with about less than a half-mile to go I found extra energy to power walk the last challenging uphill pass the group and increase my pace to finish strong and with a smile.

I was happy to see that sugars held pretty well throughout the event. With only the miss bolus for breakfast prior to the event and the two times, I took the gels as a precautionary action. I am pleased with the sugar performance and that it was not a limiting factor to complete this event.

The event was awesome, the volunteers were fantastic at every stop across the route. Dan and Amanda did an outstanding job as race directors and putting together a really good experience for the runner. I do have to say that this was a very challenging course and race. I can’t see my self doing the Uwharrie 100K and even less the 100 Miles events in the near future. But who knows, I keep wondering what the dinning menu looks like and if I would just do one of those two events to enjoy an excellent culinary experience at the Cross Roads UltraAid Station Restaurant. Bon Apettite!

from Goldrush 50k an Ultra-culinary experience

#Goldrush 50k an Ultra-culinary experience

[lotsofdogs]

Postpartum Q&A: Part Two

My second postpartum Q&A post is coming at you today!

If you’re just catching up, you may find my previous postpartum blog posts here:

The Great Big Postpartum Post 

Postpartum Q&A: Part One

As I mentioned before, I decided to break my Q&A post up into two separate posts to address all of the questions I received in a way that didn’t feel too overwhelming. Today I am addressing all of your questions related to breastfeeding and the two-kid transition. You may find answers to questions about my physical and emotional recovery, postpartum body thoughts, how I feel about having two boys and Ryder in my previous Q&A post.

Breastfeeding

How do you handle nursing hunger? I’m starving all the time!

Oh man, I feel you on this one!! I am so, so ravenous when I’m nursing. Thankfully my hunger has settled a little bit now that we’re three months into our breastfeeding journey but it’s still definitely elevated. In the beginning I truly felt like I could not eat enough and was a snacking machine. I still need to snack all the time and can almost feel like Ryder is physically draining my energy if I’m nursing and haven’t eaten in a while. Is that crazy!? I don’t know but I need to eat a lot and I need to eat often!

When it comes to satisfying my nursing hunger, I’ve found some of the more satiating snacks to be smoothies/smoothie bowls (I make them daily), chia seed pudding, nut butter (either on a spoon or on top of fruit, a muffin, toast, etc.), energy bites, a small wrap with leftover chicken or salmon, veggies, mayo and mustard, Greek yogurt with nuts and berries… Pretty much anything that includes a healthy combination of protein, fats, carbs and fiber.

Is this what my snacks look like all the time? Absolutely not, as convenience wins out sometimes and I grab whatever food is on hand in the pantry or fridge that is fast and appealing. However, when I take a moment to assemble a more well-rounded snack, it is waaay more satisfying and usually worth the little bit of extra effort. I actually want to do a post about some of my healthy prep-ahead nursing snacks that I’ll make in the beginning of the week to snack on, so stay tuned for that one!

Do you pump? Will you be bottle feeding?

I actually just started pumping and freezing breastmilk for the first time last week. Since I will be home with Ryder all day, I will probably do what I did with Chase which is mostly nurse but I do want to try to give Ryder bottles here and there so he’s comfortable with them should I want/need to be away from him for more than an hour or two.

Do you have the excess lipase issue with your breastmilk this time?

I’m not sure since we haven’t given Ryder a bottle since his time in the NICU but I really, really hope not!

For those in the dark about the excess lipase enzyme issue, according to KellyMom (<—a great breastfeeding resource for any new moms out there!), breastfeeding women who notice that their breastmilk turns bad quickly may have an excess of the enzyme lipase in their milk, which begins to break down the milk fat soon after the milk is expressed. Most babies do not mind a mild change in taste, and the milk is not harmful, but the stronger the taste the more likely a baby will reject it.

I had NO idea this was my issue with Chase rejecting bottled breastmilk and wanted to highlight this here again for any moms out there who might be scratching their heads and feeling frustrated when their breastmilk seems to turn bad so quickly.

Do you have a nursing bra you’d recommend? 

YES! Without a doubt my favorite nursing bra is the Bravado! seamless nursing bra. It’s incredibly soft and comfortable and doesn’t make your boobs look weird through clothing. All the important stuff!

For sleep or just to wear under casual clothing, I also really love the Bravado! ballet sleep bra. It’s a pull-on style bra that doesn’t dig into my sides at all. It’s a great go-to nursing bra to have in a few colors.

What workout clothes do you wear that are easy for breastfeeding? 

For some reason I haven’t really adopted a breastfeeding-friendly workout wardrobe. In addition to not wanting to buy tops I won’t wear for all that long, to be honest I find a lot of the nursing-friendly tops and bras just plain ugly. I’m mostly wearing my normal workout gear but I also don’t really mind simply lifting up my shirt, rolling up a sports bra over one breast and nursing Ryder that way. (This might be a little more feasible for me since I have a rather small chest… not sure!)

I do much prefer high-waisted leggings though since they keep my stomach covered during on-the-fly nursing sessions. My current favorites are the lululemon Align Pant (the same ones that were my pregnancy obsession — I bought four pairs!), Zella Live In High Waist Leggings and Fabletics High-Waisted Powerhold 7/8 Leggings.

As far as sports bras are concerned, I made the mistake of wearing a sports bra with no lining to boot camp last week and it was not the best idea. I dropped Chase off at preschool and then nursed Ryder in the car before boot camp and didn’t realize that the breast Ryder wasn’t nursing from apparently felt left out and decided to leak as he fed. Let’s just say I walked into boot camp with a wet milk mark in a rather embarrassing spot that day. Yeesh! Thankfully the Burn Boot Camp crew is a supportive and encouraging one and my friends just laughed it off with me but it’s not a mistake I plan to make again. I’ll be sticking to lined sports bras and am currently loving the Reebok CrossFit sports bras I’ve had for years, Montiel Teardrop sports bras, lululemon Free to Be bra and the super-soft bras from Balance Collection that I find at TJMaxx or Marshalls.

I’m wondering how you juggle getting out of the house with nursing? Do you nurse in public a lot? 

Right now I try to be as flexible with my schedule as possible to accommodate nursing. I try my best to time leaving the house right after a good nursing session so Ryder is full and happy. Of course this is not always feasible and I’ve done a lot of nursing in my (parked) car. I keep a Boppy breastfeeding pillow in my car which helps a lot with both Ryder’s comfort and my own during on-the-fly nursing sessions.

I’ve also become fairly comfortable nursing in public and just look for more secluded areas to nurse since added stimulation around Ryder leads to distracted nursing. (He’ll come on and off my breast and I’ll end up spraying milk everywhere which is not the most fun.) I also always have a muslin blanket with me to drape over us if I’m in a really public place but many times I just forget a cover and do my best to be as discreet as possible. Ryder, like his big brother, doesn’t seem to like to be covered when nursing and I’ve pretty much adopted the attitude that if someone has a problem with me nursing in public, that’s their problem and not mine.

(Nursing in the airport last month.)

I feel like for the most part Ryder’s head covers the important areas when he’s nursing anyway so I’ve become a lot more relaxed about nursing in public.

What are your favorite postpartum clothing items? Loose clothing? Compression? Any other nursing-friendly tops you love? 

I am all about casual, flowy tops and elastic waistbands right now! Like I mentioned above, I am opting for a lot of tops I can roll up if I want to nurse on the go and love comfy v-neck t-shirts in a size or two up from my pre-pregnancy size. I am living in Victoria’s Secret Perfect V-Neck Tees (size large which worked both during pregnancy and postpartum) and LAmade V-Pocket Tee which I love for the added length.

If I know I’m going to be nursing in public a lot, I will often wear a nursing tank underneath whatever top I’m wearing. My absolute favorite nursing tanks are the Gilligan & O’Malley camis you guys recommended to me after Chase was born. I’m wearing the same ones I wore after my first pregnancy and they’ve held up well.

As far as dresses, I LOVE my Gap Maternity Nursing T-shirt Dress. It’s comfortable and makes nursing in public much easier. I can dress it up with wedges or down with sneakers and a denim jacket and have worn it everywhere!

For nursing-friendly pajamas you cannot beat Nordstrom’s Moonlight Pajamas. I wore them in the hospital after delivery and have been living in them! I own both the pants and shorts versions and even gave a pair to my sister at her baby shower, too. They’re the best!

How do you explain nursing to Chase? What do you do when you need to feed Ryder but Chase needs attention? 

Chase is incredibly curious and interested in just about everything in the world and nursing is no different! I’ve tried my best to explain nursing to him in a way he can understand and he seems to get it. When it came time to talk to him about nursing, I took a similar approach to the one I used to explaining potty training and his questions about private parts. I try my best to be as accurate and open as possible and use proper names for everything. Even though Chase says milk comes out of Mom’s “nibbles,” I think he gets it and he will often tell me that Ryder “needs some milk” when he gets fussy. I let him watch and sit next to me if he wants to but usually he gets bored and wanders off to play with his toys.

(I snapped that picture when Chase told me Elmo needed milk “from his nibbles” when Ryder was 10 days old. Ha!)

When Chase is in a mood or extra fussy and Ryder needs to nurse, I try really hard to speak to him calmly and explain that we can do x, y, z once Ryder is done eating. I’ll also often provide some ideas for things he can do while I’m nursing (play with trains, draw a picture and Mom will guess what it is, pick out a book for Mom to read to you, etc.). While I initially worried that emphasizing Ryder’s needs over Chase’s would lead to jealousy, I’ve let that go during nursing sessions because I think it’s honestly a good thing for Chase to learn from a young age that sometimes we need to be patient and wait to get whatever it is we want when someone else needs attention.

The Two-Kid Transition 

How do you handle nap time with both boys? How do you get Chase or Ryder down when the other child is awake and noisy? 

My answer to this question is admittedly kind of crazy and I have no idea why or how I started to handle nap time this way but it’s all about embracing whatever works, right!?  We are ALL about a pre-nap time “picnic” over here these days. When Ryder is awake and playful during the time I need to begin to settle Chase down for his nap, the three of us head into Chase’s room with a snack for a “floor picnic” and some stories. Ryder will happily kick and look around the room while Chase eats a snack and I read some books. When I can tell Ryder is getting fussy, I wrap up story time and then tuck Chase into his bed and head out. This shockingly works REALLY well for us and we do pre-nap picnics ALL the time.

As far as how I handle naps for one of the boys when the other one is awake, needy and noisy, I try to be flexible on timing. If Ryder is crying and needs attention, Chase’s nap will get pushed back until Ryder is soothed. Ryder is thankfully still at the age where he can sleep in a rather noisy environment, so he naps in his Rock ‘n’ Play in our family room while Chase plays and it usually works out well. While this doesn’t happen every day, this strategy has actually helped get both of the boys napping around a similar time in the afternoon since Ryder is often awake for longer spurts when Chase is up and noisy and then he sleeps for longer stretches when Chase is asleep and things are calmer around him.

How do you handle bedtime with two kids when your husband isn’t home and your baby is cranky?

Sometimes bed time can feel like one battle after the next, especially on the nights when Ryan is working late or traveling. I’ve tackled bed time alone many times at this point and more often than not I feel like I’m making things up on the fly.

When bed time rolls around, I just try to be calm and firm but also flexible. It is much harder for me to soothe Ryder, nurse him, swaddle him and get him down for the night when Chase is still awake so I typically don’t even try. I try to take advantage of the time when Ryder is awake and happy to begin settling Chase. Only after I have Chase in bed does it feel possible to nurse and swaddle Ryder and get him down for the night. (Note: This is very different from the way I handle Ryder’s daytime naps which feel much more laid back and the daytime nap soothing often takes place with Chase around. Ryder sleeps in a bassinet in our room at night with a noise machine and I want nighttime sleep to feel different than daytime naps to hopefully cultivate deeper and longer stretches of sleep. Ryder also typically needs a very calm, stimulation-free environment to go to sleep at night which isn’t possible when Chase is awake.)

One HUGE thing I’ve learned about bed time with two kids is to start the process WAY early. We typically stay home in the afternoon and begin the winding down process immediately after dinner. If I want Chase in bed with the door to his room closed by 7:30 p.m., I try my best to make my way upstairs with the boys by 6:30 p.m. This gives us time ease into bed time which Chase responds to better than a rushed “we need to get to bed NOW” strategy.

What was Chase’s reaction when he found out you had a boy? 

I like to joke and say it was a non-event to Chase. It was almost like a “duh” moment for him because he really and truly never believed we’d be having a girl. Anytime someone would ask him about the baby in my belly, he’d confidently tell them it was a boy named Thomas the Train and get almost defiant if they ever said it might be a girl. When Ryder arrived, I think Chase simply got the baby brother he expected!

How has Chase handled the adjustment/shift in attention? 

You may read all about how Chase has handled becoming a big brother in the first few weeks of Ryder’s life in this post: Chase’s Three Year Update. To elaborate a bit more, Chase is adjusting really, really well and is so sweet with Ryder for the most part buuuut something happened around 9 weeks and a switch flipped and Chase was all of the sudden fussier and needier than usual. This coincided with a cold (which, in retrospect, I think was to blame for a LOT of his weepy emotions), a bunch of back-to-back dropped afternoon naps and Ryder needing more attention (he was no longer sleeping all day long) and we just seemed to have an all-around whinier and more tearful three-year-old. All Chase wanted all week long was Mom and my undivided attention. That was a really, really tough week. Thankfully that seemed to be fleeting and Chase is back to being his sweet and joyful self but just thinking back on that week makes me feel exhausted and tearful all over again. It was HARD.

Now, on a day to day basis, things are going really well with our two boys! Chase asks me to put Ryder on a blanket on the floor for him to play with multiple times a day every day.

Chase loves incorporating Ryder into imagination games and enjoys trying to “teach” him things as well as dancing for him and making silly voices to try to get Ryder to smile, coo and chirp. Chase gives Ryder kisses all the time and talks about being a big brother in a very positive way when people ask him about his little brother which melts my heart. Ryder is enamored with Chase and stares at him all the time! Overall, Chase has absolutely exceeded my expectations and handled the transition really well and we try really hard to praise Chase for his kind, inclusive, gentle and positive behavior around his little brother.

How are you finding time and energy to cook?

I seriously swear by meal planning. In the beginning I gave myself a lot of grace when it came to preparing meals and we did a lot of sandwiches, smoothies, wraps, pasta and simple one-dish recipes. Now that we’re emerging from the newborn fog, I’m trying to get back into meal planning and it’s making a big difference. I have a much stronger desire to put time and energy into meals when I have a plan versus when I find myself opening the fridge, freezer or pantry and waiting for inspiration to strike.

I also try hard to do a lot of food prep/cooking when Chase is awake. Chase loves helping in the kitchen and this makes cooking and food prep an interactive activity and also frees up any free time that might pop up during nap time for me to work. (Yes, this means our kitchen is often a mess but lowering my expectations for a sparkling clean house at the end of every day is crucial during this phase of life.) If Chase is content to play by himself and Ryder is napping or happy and awake, I’ll chop veggies, whip up a batch of muffins, begin dinner prep, etc.

I’ve also become a HUGE fan of Instacart. I never thought I’d be the type to order groceries delivered to our house but grocery shopping with both boys isn’t exactly a blast and since I usually do my meal planning on Sundays, if Ryan or I don’t make it to the grocery store over the weekend, I’ll often have an Instacart delivery come to the house on Monday. This may die down a bit now that Chase is in preschool but Instacart seriously saved us for a few weeks there and helped prevent us from ordering takeout all the time. Though there is a delivery fee, there are often promotions in place that make delivery free that I take advantage of and I truly think Instacart saves me money in the long run since I’m not impulse buying things during trips to the grocery store. Anything I can do to streamline the process of cooking/shopping/meal planning sounds great to me right now! We also love Blue Apron for easy, delicious meals delivered to our house and have ordered a handful of Blue Apron deliveries, too.

When it comes to lunches, I look to leftovers, smoothies or wraps and I am also still on a huge Daily Harvest harvest bowl kick. I love the way their harvest bowls come packed with veggies, herbs and good-for-you ingredients. The prep work is done for me and I typically just add something like leftover chicken, salmon or black beans to the bowls to make them a little more satiating. I chatted with one of my friends last week about how the first few months with a new baby is all about convenience and making things work and these are a few things that have helped me a lot!

Did you make any freezer-friendly meals to have on hand before you had Ryder? 

I didn’t but I wish I would have! Pinch of Yum just shared an awesome blog post featuring 12 healthy freezer meals that seems like it would be incredibly helpful to anyone looking to prep some freezer-friendly dinners before baby.

More details on sleep! How do you get longer stretches? 

I mentioned this briefly in my first postpartum post, but I am increasingly becoming a believer that some babies are naturally good sleepers and some aren’t and Ryan and I can now say we’ve had one of each. Looking back, Chase was a tough baby when it came to sleep and we were up with him constantly for months and months. (I don’t think he officially slept through the night until I stopped nursing at 15 months!) I would love to give more advice to help those of you out there struggling with baby sleep and while I do think following a schedule or certain sleep training methods can absolutely work, with Ryder we honestly haven’t done much to cultivate good sleep habits but I do have a few staples I swear by for baby sleep. None of these are anything new and you’ve probably read about all of them but just in case, I’ll detail them below.

With Ryder’s naps, I’m pretty laid back since he’s still young and not really on a schedule yet but I am already much more rigid with nighttime sleep. We always have a white noise machine on at night and try to keep our room as dark as possible for night time sleep. I also swaddle Ryder in his Ollie swaddle every night (that thing is a MIRACLE worker for those who struggle to snuggly swaddle their babies) and once he was around 6 weeks old and I got the okay from my pediatrician, I tried to hold off from responding to every little peep and chirp from his bassinet. (I still respond to any cries but in the beginning I was responding to everything.) I think this helped Ryder get used to longer stretches of sleep at night from an earlier age. Ryder’s weight is heavier than Chase by a ways (Chase was born in the first percentile for weight) and I have to think his extra weight also helps him go longer between feedings and sleep better through the night. Who knows if this is really the case, but I’m just counting my blessings for a decent sleeper this time around… and I am also well aware this could change at any moment!

I was wondering how Ryan finds energy to work out at 5 a.m. everyday while you have a newborn in the home? We are expecting our second child any day now and I know my husband is worried about having energy to get to the gym for his normal routine.

I should probably let Ryan answer this question but I know after Chase was born, he didn’t stick to his normal 5 a.m. routine for months because we were up so often in the night trying to soothe and settle Chase. This actually led to him outfitting our home gym so he could squeeze in a quick workout before work rather than have to take the extra time to drive to and from the gym before work.

With Ryder, I honestly have no idea how Ryan kept to his 5 a.m. workouts for the first few weeks there, but somehow he did. I think this may be because I was (and still am) really the only one up with Ryder during his nighttime feedings since we haven’t done the bottle thing yet. (This is by choice since I hate pumping and would rather just nurse right now.) Ryan is also blessed with the ability to not hear baby noises like my sonic ears do and can somehow often sleep through nursing sessions without realizing Ryder and I were just up. (You know that joke, “Forget sleeping like a baby, I want to sleep like my husband.” Yep, that definitely applies here!)

Ryder was also pretty good about nursing and going back to sleep fairly quickly (totally opposite from Chase) so this undoubtedly helped! So basically I don’t have any words of wisdom to offer here but if you have the space/ability to create a place where you might be able to work out from home, that might help with consistency once you’ve both emerged from the newborn fog!

How do you plan to balance working from home and being a mom to two? Will you have babysitting help? 

Oh man this question is a tough one! When I was pregnant with Chase, I truly thought I’d have childcare help but never ended up going that route. I tried my best to do as much work as possible in the early morning before Chase was up, during his nap time and then during his preschool time once he turned two years old and was in preschool two mornings a week. I am not sure how feasible squeezing in small spurts of work is with two kids in the mix (especially when naps don’t align) and I am trying to figure everything out right now.

Honestly, focusing on being a mom is where my heart wants to be in this phase of life and if that means scaling back on what I have the time to share in this space for a while, I am okay with that right now. I absolutely love blogging and connecting with all of you and it’s something that continues to bring me joy, so I absolutely want to keep writing and sharing my life, recipes, workouts and randomness here with you guys. I also have a bazillion blog posts I’m dying to write!

My gut tells me I will likely not seek out childcare but if all of the sudden I feel like I’m drowning and need help, I’ll absolutely go that route and would probably look to find a nanny to help with Ryder a few mornings a week when Chase is at preschool so I’d have some solo work time. Buuut we will see!

Do you want to have more children? 

The short answer to this question is yes. Neither Ryan nor I feel done having kids but I am admittedly a much more anxious person when I think about pregnancy and babies these days. Neither are a given in life and right now we’re focusing on our amazing boys and enjoying our family!

I didn’t get my cycle back until Chase was almost completely weaned at 15 months old and breastfeeding is a priority for me so even if we wanted to have another child ASAP, I think my body would want me to wait a bit. (And yes, I know breastfeeding is not a reliable form of birth control but I also know it can effect fertility.) Buuut when we talk about the future we definitely do talk about a shared desire for more children.

[Read More ...] https://www.pbfingers.com/postpartum-qa-part-two/

#health #fitness

[mostly-plants]

Week 4 of eating vegan

Day 22: Bakesale day! Over the course of the weekend I made about 85 earl grey & orange cookies, 45 coconut raspberry macaroons, 32 bagels, 24 chocolate cupcakes and 12 lemon blueberry muffins (all vegan). And thanks to my lovely friends, we raised $330 to support Oxfam’s work in addressing the current food crisis in eastern Africa.

Other than catching up with a few friends and feeling happy that we were able to raise some funds, one of my highlights of the day was eating a fresh bagel with nigella seeds, topped with Tofutti Better than cream cheese, fresh tomato and black pepper. It was delightful! I will definitely be making more of these bagels soon! I used a recipe from YouTuber NikkiVegan and just added 100 grams of sourdough starter to each batch for extra flavour and rise. My favourite bagel toppings are sesame seeds or nigella seeds. So good! After a full weekend of baking we were both pretty exhausted, so ordered some Vietnamese food for dinner from Paper Plate. It was pretty tasty, but a little bit expensive for what it was. Also, although the veggie rice paper rolls we ordered had some really enjoyable and interesting flavours, they came with both ends open instead of the traditional enclosed wrap. This made them much harder to eat, because every time you took a bite, the fillings would slip out the bottom. There’s nothing wrong with being creative, but also... sometimes there’s a reason that the original is the best. For dessert I ate 2 more cupcakes because I was tired and hungry and they were full of sugary chocolatey-coffee goodness. I then experienced #cupcakeregret because 2 cupcakes is 1 too many. You win this time, cupcakes. Lesson learned.

Day 23: I was pretty exhausted after baking all weekend, but I had some toast with Tofutti cream cheese and tomato / peanut butter and raspberry jam for breakfast, and then headed off to work. I had leftover Pho for lunch, plus some fruit and coconut raspberry macaroons for snacks, and then (again) leftover black bean tacos for dinner. I also had 1 (and only 1) cupcake for dessert.

Day 24: I was still exhausted this morning, so slept in a little bit and had black bean tacos for brunch (yes, I am just really feeling the love for Mexican food right now!). Morning tea was coffee (of course), a couple more macaroons and a chocolate brownie. Yes, very indulgent, but dinner will be mostly greens.

I was really tired in the afternoon so a had a little rest and then made a “use up what’s in the fridge” stir-fry for dinner. I had a slightly wilted green cabbage, some broccoli and bok choy, and some firm tofu. I mixed up a few tablespoons of peanut butter with about half the amount of sweet soy sauce and a bit of sriracha to make peanut sauce, and cooked up all the veggies and tofu before mixing in the sauce and some pepper. It turned out pretty well! I’d shredded the cabbage into strips and once cooked they were kind of like noodles.

Day 25: Toast for breakfast again - the classic PB and banana on toast with a tablespoon of chia seeds and maple syrup for extra healthy fats, minerals, and, let’s be honest, the maple syrup was there because it’s delicious. :d

Work was hectic so I ended up having lunch (left-over stir-fry) really late, but then by the time I got home around 7pm I felt like doing some cooking to wind down. I’d wanted to try making some seitan, so I attempted this scallion (aka spring onion) sausage recipe from Mary’s test kitchen. I think I underseasoned the mix a little bit, because although they turned out ok, they tasted a little bland. In fairness, I’d used chives instead of spring onions because I didn’t have any at the time, and it may have been a mistake to substitute the key ingredient named in the recipe title! XD I also managed to cut my finger on the edge of some aluminium foil while rolling the sausages up (so talented, how DOES she do it?) Oh well.. You win this time, seitan, but this isn’t over yet!

I’d soaked some barley the night before, so I chopped up some onion, carrot and celery and cooked it along with some veggie stock and bayleaves, then added the barley. For extra veggie goodness (and to clear the last scraps out of the veggie crisper) I threw in some kale and some asparagus. This turned into a really nice hearty soup, and the sliced seitan sausages made a nice chewy addition scattered atop. 

One of the perks of this month has been learning how to cook new things, and in particular, I’m finally starting to understand kale. Yes, it’s super nutritious and a good source of calcium and other vitamins, but because I had no idea how to cook it before I was like “Why does everyone love this tough, bitter thing??” Soooo apparently you need to remove the stalks (at least the thicker base parts), or if you want to eat the stalks you need to cook them for a really long time because otherwise (as I found out) they are really fibrous and hard to eat. I now know how to cook kale so that it’s actually edible. Thanks, internet!

Day 26: There were heaps of leftovers from all my cook-ups this week so I just foraged from the fridge for the day - I feel like I’ve definitely got the hang of making a few meals ahead and having a few key ingredients that make for easy and relatively healthy snacks. I’m finding that even on the days where I don’t think I’ve been as conscious of trying to balance my meals, I still seem to be getting almost 100% of my RDIs for protein, iron, calcium and other vitamins according to the tracking I’ve done with Cronometer. That said, I’m sure it’s not 100% accurate, because it makes assumptions about things you enter - like thinking my soy milk is fortified with B12 when it isn’t.  Cronometer (or any app for that matter) is not going to be flawless, but it’s definitely a helpful guide in making sure I’m not accidentally very deficient in anything.  Now that I’m more familiar with the kinds of foods that are going to provide the range of nutrients I need on a daily basis, I feel comfortable that I can make good choices and achieve a good balance of nutrition myself, but it’s still handy to be able to check how things are stacking up on occasion.

Day 27: I woke up feeling like pancakes for breakfast, and because I was working from home I had the flexibility to cook this morning. I found this recipe for apple pie pancakes from NikkiVegan and decided to give it a go. I didn’t have the chickpea flour she used in the recipe, so I just went with 1 cup whole wheat flour, and 1 cup white wheat flour. I also added a little bit of dark brown sugar and maple syrup to the pancake mix, along with a pinch of salt. I reduced the amount of baking powder to about 1 tablespoon, and used less maple syrup with the apple compote (probably about 1/4 cup instead of the 3/4 cups in the original recipe). Since I had added a little bit of sweetness to the pancakes themselves, I didn’t feel like I needed to use so much syrup in the topping. These turned out AMAZING! They were seriously the fluffiest, tastiest pancakes I’ve ever had! Just look at them!!

SO. FLUFFY. This is 3 small pancakes stacked on top of each other, but it literally looks like a slice of cake. I mean technically it is cake, but I have never seen a pancake this fluffy before! The flax eggs worked very well, and added some bonus ALA/Omega 3 goodness. I’m not oil-free so I did add a dash of canola oil to the pan, and cooked the pancakes on medium-low heat so the middle had time to cook through before the outside got overdone. These were really filling, so 3 pancakes turned out to be one too many for me. The good news is they keep great, I just covered the cooked leftover pancakes and put them in the fridge, then heated them for 1 minute in the microwave the next day and they were just as good. FYI our microwave is weird so if you have a normal microwave 30 seconds might even be enough. Or you can probably reheat them in a pan on low-medium heat for 30 seconds to a minute on each side.

Friday night I did some shopping in the city for a birthday present, and then we went to a friend’s farewell drinks. On the way home the boyfriend spotted a pop-up van at QV, so it was DOUGHNUT TIME! They have vegan doughnuts, so we got a Fairy Godmother and a Pump Up The Jam. Both were very yummy, but hooooooooooooooooly heck! So. much. sugar! Starting AND ending the day with cake is probably not a great strategy for health in the long term, but in the short term it was very enjoyable. Just goes to show you can eat healthily or unhealthily as a vegan, so it just comes down to making the choices that make you feel good in the long run.

 Day 28: It was Saturday so we slept in and had leftover pancakes for breakfast, then went to our friend’s birthday party and had fun exploring Brimbank Park. I like their random giant animals and vegetables, and their Auslan and Braille Alphabet signs:

I wanted to do another batch cook for the week this afternoon, so I made a brown lentil shepherd’s pie with a base of onions, carrots, celery, fennel and vegan beef-style stock. I added tomato paste and dried porcini mushrooms for extra flavour, and it turned out really well! It was also a very good way to use the bag of potatoes that had been sitting in our pantry for the last couple of weeks!

 I also made some vegan pizza, using a quick, no cook pizza sauce recipe I originally saw on America’s Test Kitchen. You can find the quick pizza sauce recipe with notes here - it uses a blender or food processor, but you could also just use diced/crushed tomatoes instead, or cut up the whole peeled tomatoes and mash them together with the other ingredients. To top the pizza I caramelised some red onion, scattered on some chopped olives, and made a batch of fresh moxarella using this recipe from Vedged Out. There’s also a full recipe for vegan margherita pizzas at this link, so you’ll find a dough recipe and another (cooked) sauce recipe there too. The pizza was awesome - the moxarella gives you the stretchy gooey texture that makes melted cheese so enjoyable to eat, and it’s also very quick and easy to make if you have a blender. Just look at this cheezy goodness...

 And that’s it for week 4! Even though there’s only a few days to go of my month-long vegan challenge, I’m honestly not holding out for anything, because I really don’t feel like I’ve been missing out at all. I’ve really enjoyed being able to experiment and cook different foods, and overall I’ve felt really good. Although this weekend was pretty junk-foody, overall I’ve definitely been eating more vegetables and wholegrains than I previously was, and my energy levels and digestion have been pretty great. Those are probably the main changes I’ve noticed so far health-wise, but I’ll do a proper wrap up at the end of the month. Bye for now!

[vitamindonuts]

Vitamin Donuts Coaching Week One 2/2

Hey guys! Hope everyone is sailing through their week! 

I’d love to talk about food prep. Now, I know when you hear that term you might be thinking about a protein loving, muscular man making 8-135 containers of brown rice and chicken on a Sunday, but I’m here to tell you how I made it flexible enough to fit in my life and how it has positively impacted my eating habits.

So how often does this happen to you? You’re driving home after work, running errands, grabbing the kids, whatever, and you realize, you’re hungry. Now either you could go home and cook for a couple hours, do the dishes, and be exhausted. OR you could pull through a fast food joint and feed yourself (and anyone else with you) in just a couple minutes flat. Now I don’t know about you, but I love finding an excuse to eat fast food. Doesn’t matter where. I’m just itching for a reason to pull through and enjoy some french fries and a chocolate shake. (That’s right. I’m a dipper.) I’m always blissfully thinking the words, “I did so much today. I don’t want to cook. Why not?”

I learned very quickly that if I wanted to break the habit, I would have to get some discipline, and stop giving myself excuses to make bad choices.

So I challenge you this week. I either want you to make a little bit extra when you do cook or I want you to make time this week for a couple hours to make yourself some healthy food. You don’t have to make a ton, I promise. Just make a little bit extra so you can maybe get 2 lunches out of it. Usually instead of just making enough chicken breasts and mushrooms for my husband and I, I’ll make twice that. I want you to do the same with any recipe you want and that’ll keep for 3-4 days. Be creative and make something you’ll enjoy eating. So, after I make all that, not only have I cooked a lot of chicken (yum!) – it’ll go bad if I don’t eat it. Now let me tell you, I have gotten creative with chicken. They go in pitas, on salads, with fruit, covered in condiments. Chicken is just so darn versatile.

I encourage you to try new recipes and don’t get bored of your meals. There are so many ways to do things, it doesn’t have to be torture to eat this stuff. I genuinely had the best chicken and veggies I’ve ever had last night, and I’m the one who made them. I loved it, I enjoyed every bite.

A sweet trick I sometimes add to my chicken breast is some sun-dried tomatoes and feta cheese. It’s nice spin on a recipe that my big brother taught me how to make. (Thanks Jeff!)

I also like keeping falafel, chicken salad, tuna, egg salad, and this kind of weird vegetable medley I came up with in the fridge. (I’ll share a couple recipes down below.) Now, when I’m driving home I know that if I choose to go to fast food, instead of home. That’s a genuinely harder choice for me. I know there is perfectly good, healthy food for me at home – yet I’m still choosing those calories, fat, grease, and bad feelings anyway. I’m telling you, it stops me 80% of the time.

Here are some of the recipes I personally make every couple days. I have kind of a rotation going now with things and I add new things as I find them. As always, be flexible with this and make it suit your diet and taste buds. I want you to find your way to do things – this is the best place to start!!

Now let’s be clear guys – I’ve been trying really hard this week to take pictures of all the food I make at home. I’m telling you, it’s either the lighting (my preferred excuse) or that my food lacks sophisticated presentation. (My food is ugly)

Apparently, I’m not that good at taking pictures of food. Haha. I’m getting a better camera and I’m really going to try hard to get better at this – but until then it’ll be a mix of my pictures and some stock images to help with the instructions/ingredients.

Devon’s FAVORITE Chicken Breast. EVER. Boneless skinless chicken breast Kosher salt Black pepper Garlic powder

Heat your oven to 400 degrees.

First, I always take the chicken breast out of the package, lay them between 2 sheets of glad wrap and pound those puppies until they’re about 1-1 1/2 inch thick. (either by mallet or with my skillet) then I season them with salt, pepper, and garlic powder. You don’t have to use a ton, but make it taste good. You decide how much you like.

Then I put some avocado oil in my skillet and let it get hot. Medium – High ish. Once it is hot – and I mean sizzlin’ hot – then add the chicken 1-2 breasts at a time depending on how big they are. If you overcrowd that pan, the chicken will get boily and weird. (thanks Food Network)

Once your chicken is browned on both sides, 3-5 minutes a side. I pull them off and put them on a foil covered baking sheet. Spray the sheet with pam to prevent sticking. Then I put the chicken in the oven for 15-25 minutes or until cooked all the way through. (I’m one of those that uses a thermometer to ensure a nice 165 degrees)

When they come out, make sure they’re done and then IMMEDIATELY COVER THEM WITH FOIL. I’M NOT JOKING. DON’T TOUCH THAT CHICKEN. Let them rest for 5-7 minutes. (This step means a lot to me)

After that, take them out and enjoy! They’re really tasty (:

Devon’s Veggie Medley

This exact amount makes enough for a topping/side for 2 people. I’d at least double for prep.

1 package of mushrooms, I prefer baby bellas 1/2 poblano pepper 1/2 bell pepper, usually red pinch of salt, pepper, and a dash of Worcestershire sauce avocado or olive oil

I put those in my pan covered for 15 minutes, then uncovered , (10 ish minutes until I like how they look.)

Cut, cook, and done! I make it as a side usually, but sometimes I’ll make more and make it a veggie meal for myself!

    I always suggest adding a salad to your meal. I personally use romaine hearts, give them a rough chop, add some italian dressing and cracked black pepper. It’s simple but it tastes good and keeps me on track getting those greens in.

I’ll say it again – Try it many different ways. & it’s always a good idea to pay attention to how many calories your dressing of choice has. If you prefer blue cheese or something heavier, I suggest having it on the side and dipping instead of smothering the lettuce – it keeps you mindful so you can enjoy your preference while watching the calories!

I also encourage you to look into greek/Mediterranean foods and recipes. It has become one of my favorite cuisines and it’s so easy to keep it healthy and enjoy every bite. Tzatziki sauce is everything.

  Here are some products I get that are either freezer/prepped foods that keep me on track! Some are quick eat things and some I add my own twist to. If you’re interested in a particular one, let me know if you’d like to see the recipes I use personally when I make them! Not all of this is the healthiest stuff, some of it is high in calories and sodium but it’s tasty, healthier alternatives,  and it’s stuff that is usually in my fridge. I do use portion control and I use mindfulness when I eat these things. 

Egg White Salad w/ chives – Very good recipes for this on Pinterest Fully Cooked Falafel – Frozen – Also look for healthier homemade recipes Wild Alaskan Sockeye Salmon Fillets – Frozen – Just bake in the oven and bam, done. Al Fresco Chicken Sausage – SO GOOD, I use it in all scrambles and breakfast recipes Black Bean & Jack Cheese Burrito – It’s amazing and I like that it doesn’t have meat. It’s also 510 calories and loaded with sodium. I try to eat it in 3 portions. Egg Muffins with Italian Chicken Sausage – AMAZING. Pinterest. Avocado Chicken Salad – Delicious on or in anything. Pinterest.

I encourage you to get on Pinterest or google this week and print off/save some recipes you would like to prep to keep yourself on track!

Let me know how you’re doing and of course, stay cheerful!

Dev

  – Let’s talk food prep. February 8th, 2017 Vitamin Donuts Coaching Week One 2/2 Hey guys! Hope everyone is sailing through their week!  I'd love to talk about food prep.

#coaching #cooking #extremeweightloss #health #information #inspiration #knowledge #lifestyle #recipes #selflove #travel #weightloss #weightlosstransformation #writing