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cyclesprefectpress · 6 months

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[image description: photos of The Disco Elysium Tarot, printed letterpress in an edition of one from handset lead type and linoleum blocks. It is a complete 78-card tarot deck printed primarily with white text and illustrations on medium grey cardstock, in a custom dark grey hardcase box with a hand-marbled orange and yellow endsheet. The backs of the deck are decorated with an illustration of a sprig of may bells, and a quote from Smallest Church in Saint-Saëns: "None of this matters at all." The interpretive meaning of each card is expressed on its face with a small excerpt of the game's text. The Minor Arcana are divided into four suits of Harry's Attributes—Motorics, Psyche, Physique, Intellect—and each card in that suit is a quote from a skill under that Attribute. The Major Arcana are assigned quotes from other sources like NPC dialogue or Thought Cabinet problems & solutions. Pips for the Minors are counted with diamonds like the game's skill points; each actor or title is printed with their in-game color, but made shiny & metallic with bronzing powder.

each piece of text was set in handset lead type, assembled from individual pieces for each letter and space, and printed relief on a chandler & price clamshell press. end description.]

🎊🎊 Desert Bus for Hope starts for 2023 on nov. 11th and i have made an item this year for the craftalong that will be up for giveaway between 6am-12pm on Monday the 13th! 🎊🎊 It is a full tarot deck based on Disco Elysium and it has several pieces of my heart & soul in it but NOT my blood because i put a bandaid right on that :) donations for this and any other auctions & giveaways for Desert Bus go to Child's Play Charity.

notes: i did not make a whole new interpretive model for this deck, apologies, that was outside of my scope. it's generally compatible with a Rider-Waite model, with Motorics for Wands, Psyche for Cups, Physique for Swords, and Intellect for Disks. (full distribution of text listed by card, linked below. any spelling or transcription errors you find there, i promise i fixed them in print—that's copied from my digital mockup which was copied hastily from screenshots.)

i also do not track hours on these kinds of projects because that way lies madness, but i will say: i knew how much time it would take to print it. it was a lot but i was not worried about it, i know how to print. i was very worried about how much time it would take to absorb the sheer amount of text, and distribute it across the cards, and really get an array i believe in. i was right to worry, and i have absolutely had a few anxious nightmares about discovering the Perfect excerpt that should've gone in and i missed it, and the suit of Intellect made me want to lay on the floor a few times, but still! i believe there's many versions of a deck you could make from this game and this one is a good one.

i think the Minors fit really well with the double-edged sword of Harry's skills, their advice, their priorities. the circular way the Fool-World assignment works out makes me smile every time. The colors on The Star came out so nice. i think Justice fulfills some of my favorite things about Kim's character & purpose in the story. i worried sometimes that editing to such short clips would lose too much of the politics of the game, but of course you can't really take them out and they're especially present in the Majors—the Devil and the Hierophant, The Star and The Sun. i've wanted to design a tarot deck for years and i love this game deeply and i let this idea percolate for a few months and it never stopped making me laugh so here it is, & given a beautiful purpose :)

i also literally could not have done this without xyrilin's Disco Reader and the FAYDE On-Air Playback Experiment to navigate the dialogue and skill checks. Really couldn’t have tied the whole concept & colophon in its final bow without the Disco Reader :)) thank thank thank, they're so fun to investigate that it was honestly very difficult to focus on my task instead of veering off and exploring every branch in an extremely disorganized way.

actual printing went well honestly, very few problems! i think that means i'm getting pretty good at planning one of these monstrosities, although perhaps it also means i'm not challenging myself enough. hmm. no that's silly there's 78 ding dang cards in this thing. anyway the drop & replace formes worked well, no registration issues. mum convinced me to overprint another half a deck's worth of cards when I was printing backs & borders and of course she was right :/ there were a handful of cards that actually had better line breaks and fewer lines total in true type than in the digital mockup, so i needed all the spares I had to put those new short quotes into the appropriate border breakage. next time i will not question her.

handset in Garamond, Eden Bold, and secret Neuland.

WIP : full text card assignments

bonus photo of the kind of trash notes i always take to plan things like how many borders were printed with space for short excerpts vs long excerpts, and how many of those are majors vs. minors, because they have a slightly different frame at the bottom edge, etc.

[image description: they are truly garbage notes, i tell you. half of it is written at angles to the other half, many numbers in the math problems are not labeled, mistakes are scribbled over. it gets me there but it doesn't look pretty. end description.]

#desert bus 2023 #desert bus for hope #disco elysium #book arts #letterpress #letterpress printing #handset type #printmaking #db2023 #finished works #long post

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fl3shm4id3n · 10 months

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Cᵣᵤₑₗ Wₒᵣₗd

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: 𝐌𝐢𝐠𝐮𝐞𝐥 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐚𝐥𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐲 𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐚 𝐥𝐨𝐭. 𝐅𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐢𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐝𝐚𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐞𝐫, 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐤𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐡𝐢𝐦𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐮𝐩 𝐚𝐬 𝐒𝐩𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐧, 𝐚𝐬 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐚𝐬 𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐮𝐥𝐤 𝐢𝐧 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐚𝐝𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬, 𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝𝐧'𝐭. 𝐍𝐨𝐭 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐥 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐧𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐬, 𝐕𝐞𝐧𝐨𝐦. 𝐖𝐡𝐨 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐛𝐞 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐡𝐞 𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰.

ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ: ᴍɪɢᴜᴇʟ ᴏ'ʜᴀʀᴀ x ᴡɪꜰᴇ! ᴠᴇɴᴏᴍ! ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

Tw: Death of a child, murder, gun/gunshot wounds, depression, emotional, mentions of gore? nudity.

A/N: I based this off the AU where Bruce's parents are Batman and The Joker.

Masterlist

The whole time you had been crying, begging that your baby was okay, you were still covered in her blood. You didn't bother to clean yourself, all you cared about was your daughter. When the doctors came to tell you both the news, you has absolutely lose it. You begged and screamed that they must be another thing that they could of done but no, Gabriella had died.

During the funeral, the whole time you had been hovering over the little casket, crying and begging that she'd come back. It hurt your husband seen you in this state, he hated seen you in such pain and distress. That night you didn't sleep in yours and Miguel's bedroom, you slept in your daughter's room, wishing and hoping that this was only a bad room and that your Gabriella would be in bed with you, but the next morning, she wasn't there, she was really gone.

For the last couple weeks not everything went back to normal, that night something had died inside of you, no longer did you smile or were happy ever. You were basically in your own world, forgetting that your husband was still in the picture, you loved him, you really did, but it was hard to look at him sometimes, every time you looked at your husband, you saw your little Gabriella, she looked a lot like her father. It hurt.

You went about your day, you woke up early or sometimes you didn't sleep at all. You did chores and everything that needed to get done in the house, then you'd do and hide in your daughter's room. You didn't do nothing in the room, but just lay in bed while hugging her soccer jersey, her scent was still on her clothes, it made you cry, you must have looked pathetic, but you didn't care.

This worried Miguel, you were getting worse instead of better, he knew that people mourned differently, but this was getting out of hand. He noticed a lot of unhealthy changes in you, he needed to help you. For a while he himself had also isolated himself, but now you needed him. That night he decided to talk to you, about taking you to go talk to a therapist, but you refused, you told him that you were fine and didn't need help, this lead to an argument. You both had began screaming at each other. Miguel had warned you that if you didn't go willing to the therapist, then he'll put you in a psych ward by force, when you heard those words, you got scared and basically ran out the door, scared that he might lock you up and claim you as crazy. He didn't mean for this to happen, he only wanted to help.

Miguel had thought you went for a walk for some fresh air, but those minutes became to hours, then those long hours turned into days. He had filed a missing person report to the police. While the police did their part, so did Miguel. He did everything in his power as Spider-Man to find you, but nothing, you had basically disappeared from thin air. He did not stop, no matter how long it would take, he was going to find you.

Years passed. Miguel has not found you yet, it killed him. He didn't know if you were alright, with good people, or if you were even alive. He remembers your screams, those same screamed haunted him at night. That night of the murder haunted him. Every time he closes his eyes, he sees you, holding the dying body of yours and his daughter, begging for her to keep her eye open. He remembers when you both rushed to the hospital screaming for help, when the doctors and nurses came to your help, you begged them to let go with them, in case your daughter needed her mama. he hopped that you were alive and well.

That wasn't the only thing he was worried about, some vigilante by the name of Venom had appeared. She was terrorizing the city and killing criminals from the streets, leaving some disturbing stuff that he felt disgusted to even mention behind to warn other criminals. He tried so hard to figure out who it was, but it was impossible, he had no clue on who could it possibly had been. Some people may find her acts heroic, but what she was doing was wrong, he was a vigilante himself, but he had limits. Someone needed to stop her before she does worse things.

Miguel was out on patrol, looking for any kind of danger or if anyone needed some help from Spider-Man, he was about to call it a night, but he hard screaming coming from an ally. So he decided to go check it out. The screaming got louder, he must have got closer, then he heard this kind of snarl and a demonic yet feminine voice. "Scums like you shouldn't be alive! You all should die!" she hiss at the man, who was pressed up against the wall, with her tight grip on his neck.

"Let him go Venom!" Miguel yelled towards the female, then the disguised woman looked at him, making her growl and gripping harder on the man's neck. "Why should you care to what happened to this low life! Him and every other criminal deserves to die!" she hissed towards the Spider-Man, she was about to snap the guy's neck. But Miguel had launched himself towards her, causing her to drop the guy, in which he ran away as fast as possible.

Then they both began to fight, they threw punches, kicks and threw each other around the ally. This went on for hours. "Just quit Venom!" Miguel yelled towards the woman, who was ready to throw another punch at him. "No! I will never stop! Until every criminal on the street is dead! They have to pay for what they had done!" she hissed, throwing herself back at Miguel, hitting him square n the jaw. Causing Miguel to hiss and get a hold of her wrist at in attempt to get her to stop.

"You think by killing them things will get better?!" he asked, while trying to restrain her but he couldn't, she manage to get away from him. "Yes, they took the most precious thing to me" she said, stopping her movements. "In this very ally, they killed my daughter!" she hissed, he could tell that she was in pain. He also couldn't help but notice the ally was the same exact ally where the murder of his daughter happened. But when the woman said the thing about her daughter, was what made Miguel freeze in his tracks.

"My daughter was shot here, and died in the hospital... they never found the guy that did it.." she said in tears. Miguel could see the tears streaming down her white wide eyes. "My daughter was my everything, she was the light of my life, but now she is gone.. and it's because of people like those scums that I do what I do.. so that no other mother had to go through what I did.." she admitted. No, it couldn't possibly be her. "I will do everything in my power to get every criminal off the street, even if that means killing them" she said.

The woman then brushed off her tears. "I'll have to kill you too, since you tend to get in my way!" she hissed as she lounged at him. This time Miguel had a trick up his sleeve. As soon as the woman got close to him, he manage to get a hold of her shoulder, then with his free hand, he got a needle shot which contained the venom from his fangs and injected the serum in her neck. Causing her to go weak. "What did you.." she wasn't able to finish her sentence. She then slumped forward towards him, losing conciseness.

Miguel then got a hold of the unconscious woman, he noticed how the black ink like skin of her began to disappear from her body. Revealing that she was naked underneath her 'suit'. Sadly he didn't have anything to cover her body, instead he used his big arms to hide her body. Then the black ink had dissolved off her face, revealing to be his one and only wife. The woman that he had been searching for, you looked so peaceful with your eyes closed as if you were sleeping. He sighed as he held your body close to him, pulling you into a tight embrace and tears forming in his eyes, glad that he had found you.

Taglist: @sorryi-mtrash, @call-me-nev

ₙₑₓₜ ₚₐᵣₜ

#miguel o'hara x reader #miguel o'hara x you #miguel o'hara x y/n #miguel o'hara x fem reader #miguel o'hara x wife reader #miguel o'hara fic #miguel o'hara angst #female reader #female y/n #wife reader #wife y/n #venom reader #venom y/n #mom reader #mom y/n #aphrodite's writing

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my--moon · 3 months

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heyyy i was wondering if you could a do a request for Leo with a child of Demeter headcanons? You’re free to take creative liberty with it 🫶🏼 thank you :)

❝ Earth and Fire ❞

Pairing; Leo Valdez X Reader (Child of Demeter) Warning; Curse words and slang used by me 😗 A/N; Reader's a lil bit feral. No gender really mentioned idt

Lemme tell you something.

When you first met, he kinda burn your garden to the ground

It was by accident tho!!!! He'd never do it on purpose :((

He just saw you sitting there so refined, playing with a daisy—then he went up in flames

Then the daisy in your palm incinerated in your palm...

He tried to apologize !! You were only slightly annoyed, you could always grow another y'know

He offered to help you out after that, basically saying he's in debt to you

Conveniently, you were *suddenly* put on more quests together :O who'd of thunk? (me lying)

Somehow you'd wriggled your way into the friend group—everyone loved you :D especially leo

then came the flirts! You thought they were only empty flirts—no actually love

Nah, that boy was head over heels, infatuated, and obsessed with you

you could've glanced in his direction and he'd have to try not to faint

Y'know those ships “A is absolutely batshit feral and B is a little too into it” that's you and Leo

Like, when I say feral I mean FERAL

You can use your powers to choke monsters with thick and sharp thorned vines—but you can't open the jar without help from him?

hearts in his eyes 😍😍

LITERALLY SEES NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU

any insecurities you have are non existent to him

wydm you don't like your body? you literally look like Psyche (she was told she was prettier than Aphrodite)

Piper love you, she likes how chill you can be yet how badass you are with those earth powers

Annabeth finds you likeable—your one of her best friends

Percy and Jason think your rlly cool and nice to be around

Nico glares at you, but will says he likes you dw

Will adores you—in a platonic way ofc

Frank finds you cool

Hazel loves you as well—she likes to ask you questions about your life

Now back to Leo!!!

Once you two actually start dating—hes still basically the same

Head over heels, infatuated and obsessed

Blushing, up in flames and swooning

He's hopeless.

He's also very romantic<3

Leo likes to make jewelry for you, like bracelets and earrings

He's so given you a plush of your favourite animal

Hand holding>>>

man GRIPS onto your hand, he's got a strong grip and he's not letting you go

Sometimes to reassure him your not going anywhere; you wrap small vines around his wrist

if you've got lipstick and you kiss him, he will not wipe it off—he's wearing that lipstick mark like a badge

same with hickeys and scratch marks

Cuddles from behind!!!

Lots of cuddles

Man is very touchy— it's just how he is, he needs to touch his friends and family to show his affection

If you don't like touch, he won't push anything onto you dw

often calls you pet names in Spanish

the most common ones are “mi amor” “mi vida” “cariño” “muñeca”

call him any pet name he'll giggle and blush

Piper once caught y'all making out (reference to another fanfic I made)

Best chef 🫶🏼🫶🏼

He's so a trophy husband, like he still works but he'd happily marry someone and be the stay at home parent

He's very sweet<33

He loves kids. For no reason he loves them, he's also rlly good at taking care of them

All his siblings love and adore you

they like to make jokes over when's the wedding

THIS FUCKING MAN IS SO SWEET I SWEAR

he'd do the same thing he did with calypso in the books, and literally go missing if that means finding and saving you

Slutty waist Leo. I've said it once, I'll say it again!!!!!

It's my core headcanon

but no why's it so grabbable

he uses kaomojis over emojis tbh

ദ്ദി ˉ͈̀꒳ˉ͈́ )✧

he prefers them okay?

tho he does uses emojis for shits and giggles

like going 🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼 or 🔥🔥

Y'know what I mean!!!!!

not really jealous tbh

hes keeps saying opposites attract because he's fire and your earth

He quotes avatar with you, Percy, Jason and him

“Earth, Fire, Air, Water.” — 😭💕

He likes bites

I'm not going to elaborate on that

he buys your favourite candies and lollies

He bought you a balloon once

that shit popped the moment it entered the Demeter cabin but it was pink and heart shaped :((

he's such a good boyfriend

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thissortofsorcery · 9 months

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For the soft asks, could you please do 30 and/or 16 with Harringrove? You can do either one or both in the same if you want, I just really like both of those and you're such a good writer so I can't wait to see what you do with them 💚💚

So, um. It's a month and ten days later. I'm still gonna answer all of these! I'm going through rough time with writing and it's taking me a while.

This one's just for you though!!!! I did both 30 and 16, and I hope you enjoy it. Again, I tried to keep it short but it, um. Got away from me. And I added a little bit of angst. Just a smidge.

For context, the setting is a modern college and-they-were-roomates AU sort of thing.

------

Steve's talking to some chick.

She's pretty, Billy thinks, in the same way Nancy Wheeler is. Tiny, brunette, with huge eyes and dainty, bird-bone wrists, swallowed up by a cable-knit sweater.

And Steve's smiling at her with that wide, pleased smile he sometimes gets when he and Billy are alone and the lights are low, the one that Billy never gets tired of looking at, the only time he's sorry to kiss Steve, doesn't want to wipe that look off his face.

Billy spots them from outside the coffee shop.

On Thursdays, Billy has his shift at the library until six, and Steve gets off class at five. Steve always waits for him at the campus coffee shop so they can walk to the dorms together. He's been doing that since before they started hooking up.

He isn't expecting to find Steve chatting up a girl when he's supposed to meet him, though. Jealousy hits him like a punch to the sternum, leaves him breathless and stunned. He knows he should walk away, but he can't unstick his feet from the sidewalk and force himself to move.

They're leaning against the high, long table by the window, standing close to each other. Steve's talking with so much enthusiasm that Billy would be laughing with him if he wasn't watching him talk to someone else. The girl seems plenty amused, though.

Billy's always known he liked Steve more than Steve liked him. There was no way he'd like Billy like– like this. Like Steve's the only voice he can't go a whole day without hearing. Like his heart's breaking is his chest at the sight of Steve flirting with someone else.

They haven't talked about what they were to each other, yet, not explicitly. But Billy's been hoping, like a fucking idiot.

Billy breathes hard through his nose, and reaches for his cigarettes. He can feel himself getting worked up. He's not gonna be able to let this go. The ache is turning into anger in his chest, bubbling up to his throat. He's not gonna be able to keep it civil with Harrington when he gets back to the dorm after his date, and this is either gonna turn into a fight or Billy's gonna call it quits before he's even through the door.

Billy's done watching his dating life go up in flames, so he's gonna go to Heather's dorm to see if she has any booze and ice cream. He turns around to leave when a shoulder checks into him hard, knocking his bag to the sidewalk, and his cigarette with it. His temper's already shot, frayed by a long afternoon listening to an asshole professor that didn't want to teach, so he yells out an, "Asshole!" to the guy's back. The dude doesn't even turn around to give Billy the middle finger. Bitch.

Billy shrugs his bag back on, and turns around to see that Steve's staring at him through the window.

Well, fuck.

Steve doesn't look caught out, though, he's smiling wide and waving frantically for Billy to come inside, not at all deterred by his scowl.

What the fuck, right? They can do this in public if Steve wants to.

Billy shoves his way into the coffee shop, adding sway on his hips to show Steve just what he's missing, and goes straight for them.

He's not expecting Steve to take his hand, lace their fingers together, and say, "Billy, this is Amanda from my Child Psych class. Amanda, this is my boyfriend, Billy."

His what?

"What?"

The girl giggles, a melodious, sweet laugh, and gives him a wave and a smile.

"He's been talking about you for like twenty minutes!" She says, hiding a smile behind her coffee mug. "Well, actually, since the semester started, but for the last twenty minutes, too! It's nice to meet you, finally."

On the outside, Billy's quick to recover, but inside, he's still reeling. He can turn on the charm and greet her, but he can't get his bearings about what he just walked into.

"Nice to meet you," Billy says, quirking his lips into a smirk. He adds a wink for good measure and hopes they chalked up any of his off behavior to being shoved outside, and not to being a jealous dick. He leans hard against Steve, squeezing his hand. Steve squeezes back, rubs his thumb over Billy's, and it sends a shiver down his spine.

"He says you have good taste in music," Amanda says, and her eyes are huge in her small face, to match her excited smile. "My friends and I are going to see Greta Van Fleet this weekend, and two of them backed out, so they're selling their tickets. Steve's been telling me you liked the band, so if you guys wanna come with us, I can totally text Cassie to hold onto them for you!"

Steve got him concert tickets?

Steve was getting him concert tickets?

"Are you serious?" Billy says, looking between Amanda and Steve, who's watching him with the widest grin, eyes crinkling at the corners. He wraps an arm around Billy and kisses him on his stunned forehead. He can't believe he thought Steve was chatting her up, and he was getting Billy concert tickets. "Steve, shut up, are you serious?"

"Yeah, Bill, we're serious," Steve says. "Amanda came to talk to me after class because I've been rambling to her about you and your playlists since I met her."

"Apparently we have the same Ratt tshirt," She says, shaking her head at Steve, "And I've been harassing him with my musical knowledge because my partner cannot hear anymore about it."

Billy's eyes narrow at Steve.

"Is that how you've keeping up with everything I've been saying about the music I like?"

Steve just shrugs, looking guilty.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to sell you out!" Amanda cries, clutching her chest. "Don't be mad at him, though, he's just a good listener."

Billy looks at Steve, with his wide smile and his kind eyes, the hair he obsesses over so much falling just so over his eyes. He wants to kiss him so bad.

"Yeah," Billy says, and he can't help but match that smile with his own. "He is."

They say their goodbyes, and Amanda promises to text Steve the information they need to get the tickets as soon as her friend responds.

Steve holds Billy's hand all the way back to the dorms. Billy doesn't let go of it for anything.

As soon as they're through the door, Billy shoves Steve back against it, presses their bodies together, swallows his gasp into his own mouth. Their lips meeting is the sweetest caress, the first breath of air after being underwater, and Billy lets the sensation of Steve's body against his, always so warm, wash over him, make him shiver. He can't get enough of Steve, needs to touch him everywhere. Billy's hands cup his face and circle his waist, his hips, anywhere they can find skin, needing to feel him, real and close.

Steve holds him just as tight, tries to pull him closer. He's already buried a hand in Billy's hair, a favorite of his, knowing just how much to pull on it to make Billy sigh or whine.

Billy pulls back, makes the kiss gentler, less hurried. Gives Steve little pecks on the corner of his mouth, makes him chase Billy's lips.

"You got me concert tickets," Billy says between kisses, nose rubbing against Steve's.

Steve hums, both in agreement and because he's pleased, having caught Billy's bottom lip between his own. "Yeah. 'Course."

"You're so…" Billy cuts himself off with a laugh, and kisses Steve again, licking into his mouth. "I can't fucking believe you."

Can't believe I have you.

Steve called him his boyfriend.

"Steve…" Billy pulls back, doesn't open his eyes. Can't help the smile that spreads across his mouth as he says, lips still close to Steve's. "You called me your boyfriend."

Billy feels Steve's answering grin against his lips, against the kiss he's pressing to them.

"Well yeah, you're what, my study partner?"

Billy laughs, a soft, quiet thing, that's not less happy for how low it is.

"Don't think we've ever studied anything."

Steve kisses him again, and Billy is distracted for a second, eyes falling closed to the feeling of Steve's lips catching against his.

"We studied anatomy, I think," He laughs, pressing another slick kiss to Billy's mouth. "And um, electricity."

"Electricity?" Billy laughs, opening his eyes to peek at Steve's face, and finds that wide, pleased smile he fell in love with, that he thinks he can't live without seeing.

"Yeah," Steve says, and laces their fingers together, sending a shiver down Billy's spine. "Do you feel it?"

Billy looks up at him, caught in that soft, brown-eyed gaze. Jesus, but Billy could look at him forever.

"Yeah," Billy says. "Yeah, I feel it."

----

This is in no way inspired by the Greta Van Fleet album that came out yesterday and the fact that I think modern Billy would be a super fan.

#please reblog #ask games #harringrove #billy hargrove #steve harrington #billy x steve #steve x billy #harringrove fic #harringrove ficlet #sorcery writes #mine

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jiminrings · 1 year

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as a psych student learning something about human development, i wanna know how the couple will be all around the internet searching about shits in parenting. OR MAYBE one of them starts overanalyzing or over observing their baby bcoz they saw those articles abt childs development AND THEY WANT TO BE A GOOD PARENT

does that scream jungkook to me? yes, im picturing him in that position but it can be y/n too!! AM SO EXCITED FOR THE NEW ERA BABE!!

478: drabble

alternatively, a glimpse of hwayoung’s first 100 days <3

[ 478 masterlist ]

DAY 13

“Hi, pretty girl,” Jungkook hovers above Hwayoung as she lies on her back, much to her curiosity and much to your amusement.

“Heyyy-…” Jungkook drawls as he goes from the center of the foot of the bed all the way to the side, suddenly straightening up as he does a standing long jump all the way to the other, “….pretty girl!”

Your daughter doesn’t seem to be amused as you but she still watches her dad anyway, making you snort so hard that the grogginess you’ve had from the night before starts to dissipate.

“What are you doing?”

“It’s week two. I’m trying to see if Hwayoung can track things with her eyes; that’s supposed to be a milestone this week.”

“Where did you get that from?” you wonder out loud, trying to recall if you read that anywhere from the pamphlet that her pediatrician gave you.

Jungkook sounds almost offended that you’re asking him to cite his sources, making him scoff playfully. “My instincts.”

You try not to bring up Jungkook’s constant indecisiveness and his need for approval whenever it came to tending to Hwayoung, yet with just one look, he scoffs as he changes his answers.

“The pedia.”

Your glance is empty and you’re just about to believe it because sometimes, you have to talk Jungkook out of texting the doctor at godforsaken hours in the morning just because he has a question.

He mistakes your glance for something more and instantly he relents, shoulders sagging as he huffs. “Fine, it’s the parenting subreddit.”

DAY 32

“Is it just me or is Hwayoung not starting to coo yet?” you mumble under your breath, startling Jungkook awake not because you suddenly spoke while he’s only shallowly sleeping, but because it’s the same thing on his mind.

“Not just you. I thought I was going crazy,” he sighs, pinching his eyes. Surely enough, your daughter knows how to cry and shriek, but she isn’t at that stage yet where she mimics the basic syllables that you echo to her.

You sigh, rethinking the past few days with utter concentration just to see if you’ve missed a milestone. Jungkook thinks as hard as you, eyes fluttering to see Hwayoung awake in her crib but peacefully just looking up at the toys.

Jungkook stands up as you list off the things you’ve searched on your own, crouching down to get Hwayoung off her crib so the both of you can fawn over her more closely as you ponder over her (incoming) milestones. He’s less nervous now when it comes to picking her up because supporting her comes to him like second nature now, however no matter how secure she is in his hold, Jungkook overlooked the possibility of his entire head bumping against the overhead toys.

He hits his head so hard against the base of it that he hears a resounding slap against his skull, but apart from that, he hears something else — Hwayoung cooing.

You immediately squeal in celebration, clapping your hands that makes your daughter turn her eyes to you this time. Jungkook blinks once, twice before breaking out into a grin.

He settles Hwayoung on your lap, walks over to the crib again before crouching, and prepares an act.

DAY 65

When you walk out of the bathroom fresh from your shower, the first thing that greets you is the sight of two figures laying down on the mat; one delicate in her new onesie, and the other clearly overgrown for the playpen.

“It’s tummy time.”

Jungkook calls out to you even if you don’t beg for an explanation, craning his neck to look at you from behind him. His nose almost dives to the floor if not for you snickering at how you have to walk backwards just to catch him and Hwayoung in the same frame.

“How’s the neck?”

“Hmm, it’s a little sore. I fell asleep on the couch again,” Jungkook frowns, rolling out the tensions with his knuckles. He pleasantly hums at the pressure, eyes blinking until he realizes why you’ve never responded to him. He sheepishly chuckles, scratching his head. “Oh. You meant Hwayoung.”

DAY 100

Hwayoung can’t just seem to stop giggling.

Her laughter has no real agenda behind it but its common theme revolves around Jungkook fumbling for something one way or another, the current fit of laughter your daughter’s in now being your husband fumbling for the strings of Miso’s collar (that he crocheted himself) that goes with the party theme.

There’s a distinct warmth that spreads in your chest, less of recalling that Hwayoung’s milestones are on time and more of the realization that you have everything you’ve ever hoped for; your very own family getting ready in the dressing room where just outside, all of your closest family, friends, and colleagues wait to celebrate Hwayoung’s first 100 days.

“Jungkook?”

He hums at the mention of his name, brows furrowed in frustration because Miso won’t just stay still but he still gives you attention. He straightens up immediately at the way your eyes seem glassy, and normally, he’d race towards you at the very first sight of you being down.

Jungkook, however, doesn’t have to do anything because Hwayoung coos and giggles once again, reaching her hand out in such a smooth and controlled manner that her little fist hovers above your face, almost as if she’s willing for the happy tears to stay inside.

You burst into laughter at that, the tears still coming to show that you’re so overwhelmed and happy — it actually stings. Your eyes flicker between your husband and your daughter, a grin making its way to your lips.

“Love you.”

#478 drabbles #jungkook oneshot #jungkook imagine #jungkook scenario

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ennead-of-whump · 20 days

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Psych Whump Masterlist

💉💉💉

This is going to be my go-to list every time I find something with medical or psych whump in it that I want to remember. I'll reblog it frequently and try to keep it updated but it's going to start small because good psych whump is so hard to find. (This in no way endorses medical abuse, I'm a mentally ill individual but I love consuming psych whump in media. Just about everything in these movies, books, etc are at the very least morally gray so consume at your own risk. Also, I only enjoy these things in fiction. Irl it makes me sick to my stomach, I know bc I've experienced some of this.) I'll try to add trigger warnings for each one but I might miss some so I apologize in advance. If you have any recommendations please message me! I'm scouring the internet for good psych whump but medical/sickfic whump is also wanted.

Movies:

A Cure For Wellness: Guy gets tricked into becoming a patient at a "resort" that's really a mental hospital in disguise that uses its patients for nefarious means. CW: incest, medical abuse, teeth falling out, sexual assault, some weird eel shit ^^There's probably more but I haven't watched the film in a while.

TV Shows:

Moon Knight: Whole season of psych whump, the main character has DID and loads of past trauma. Has a huge ancient Egypt theme and the MC gets (kind of) forced to accept psychiatric care. CW: lots of ableism, mental break, psychotic episodes, forced institutionalisation, child abuse, restraints

Books:

House of Leaves: This book is a fever trip but the MC (kind of?? The book has multiple authors, it's honestly very confusing but it's great) suffers from declining mental health and spirals hard. CW: child abuse, lots of sexual content, mentions of a caretaker beating a child, mentions/delusions of sexual assault, death of a dog (it was brutal, huge warning), mentions/descriptions of suicide and attempted murder

One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest: This is chock-full of psych and medical whump, it all takes place in a psychiatric hospital (I've actually been to the one in the film! -Not as a patient) CW: huge amounts of abuse from staff, doctors, nurses, there's also a scene where SA is implied on a patient, the MC is there after being convicted of SA'ing a minor and he's pretty unremorseful (the MC is a dick though anyways), racism, ableism

OG Works (not mine):

Redwood Psychiatric Insitute: Forced institutionalization, great read and it has just about every trope I look for in fics all packed into one series. Please give it a read, it's fantastic. Source - https://www.tumblr.com/only-shadows-dwell-where-we-are/706656298337435648/redwood-psychiatric-institute-masterlist?source=share by @only-shadows-dwell-where-we-are

Fanfiction:

Into Your Arms: This is a Star Trek fanfic that follows a girl who has a severe eating disorder and mental illness. It's not the normal kind of sickfic or psych whump I go for but the aftercare in this is topnotch. Source - https://archiveofourown.org/works/15185897 by moose-misses-sweets on ao3 CW: suicide attempt, severe eating disorder, abusive partner, cutting/self harm

Note: If something you made is on this list and you want me to remove it, please message me and I will. I don't check messages very often but it doesn't mean I'm ignoring you, I just forget I have a tumblr sometimes.)

This has now been moved to @caspers-delusions which is my main blog. I'll be updating the post from there

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whole-bunch-of-hcs · 11 months

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Family HCs

I'm having Family Angst atm so we're writing about Coop and Remer's families (or rather the versions of their families I invented to project Issues onto lmao)

Coop

He seems 'parents are divorced' to me

His dad is nominally around but in actuality he only shows up on the odd holiday or birthday to ruin everyone's day and then split again

Once or twice he'll even stick around for a full day to a week, promising "this time it's for good, I'm gonna do it right Joey I promise." But it never lasts.

And his mom raised him with the help of his grandparents and an aunt/uncle so he was hardly starved for love or attention right?

And yet he still felt painfully lost growing up

Having even one person just completely Not Care about your existence when you're that young and vulnerable really fucks with you.

He loves his mom, his grandparents are cool and all (though he's definitely had his issues with all of them at some point). He routinely decides he hates his dad, he misses his dad, his dad was doing his best and he should be a little more forgiving, nevermind his dad is a piece of shit

Remer has been a big help in all this through the years to a point that Coop can't imagine having done this without him, and can't imagine anyone else knowing all of it.

Coop and his grandfather were really close growing up. They watched games together and all that.

Coop probably knows how to do small 'grandma task' type things like mend a small rip or something.

Just in general, big 'my grandparents were an important part of my childhood' vibes

Once when his dad was around, he took Coop and Remer to the game where he caught that ball and started the whole thing.

Coop's mom is a terrible cook. That's why that psyche-out didn't work, it's just kinda true and he knows it. Insult his uncle's cooking on the other hand? Excuse me? That man was the only reason he didn't live off of McDonald's growing up, you take that shit back

As an adult, Coop talks to his mom a lot and goes home for alternating holidays etc. His dad sometimes shows up to ask for money (especially now that he's a sports star) but other than that... they don't talk much.

Remer

His parents are NOT divorced. But tbh they should be.

His mom's not super loud or controlling or anything but she IS hard to get along with. She pretty much only likes Remer.

His dad's more silent about his loathing of all other people (except Remer) but it's definitely there.

Basically his parents like him a whole lot but more or less nothing and no one else which put a lot of pressure on Remer to earn his 'only good person' title but other than that he's fine.

He hates how they can't be in the same room for more than five minutes without his mother deciding not to talk to anyone anymore and his dad blaming random faults on her but whatever. At least they both exist.

He lived like a child of divorce: only hanging out with one of them at a time, constantly reassuring them he didn't love the other more, etc. Only they were 'together.'

He wasn't really in conflict with either of them but it was still a pretty tense environment so he usually just hung out on his own.

He doesn't want to get married because he's only ever seen it work out with one of them splitting randomly or them both hating each other.

His parents are both only children and his dad's parents hate his mom and his mom's parents hate his dad's parents so his family always felt even smaller than it was because none of them could ever be in the same room together.

His mom also probably hated all his girlfriends. (Also I have this hc that Coop's dad slept with one of Coop or Remer's gfs at one point shortly after Baseketball took off and it was a whole ordeal and almost caused a scandal)

His dad hates Coop and it drives Remer nuts. Like the only real fight he ever has with his dad is the 'what is your issue with Coop' fight.

There were a lot of times when Remer was like 'oh this is gonna be it for sure they're totally done' but they just didn't get divorced or even separate for more than like a week and he was losing it

As an adult he literally could not care less. He sees them Enough and that's as far as that line of thinking goes.

#baseketball x reader #joe cooper x reader #doug remer x reader #these are not based on trey and matt's parents obviously #I just wanted to make some shit up today #also do you guys ever get the feeling that your parents must've gotten married out of boredom or is that just me #like did neither of you have anything better to do wtf

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kaypeace21 · 2 years

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The allegory of vecna's curse: tra*ma, music, and hope

Tw: their will be discussions of mental health, su*cide etc . Kind of unavoidable

Mental health allegory

Let's begin with Victor (one of vecna/henry's first victims). After what happened to his family ,Victor states he tried to k*ll himself with a blade to "join his family". And still ,years later , he wishes to join them- crying at the psych facility, that does nothing to really help him psychologically :(

Max, is having similar thoughts to Victor's. Vecna even points out Max sometimes wishes she could join billy (her family) " in death" . She states that sometimes she wish she "ran" to Billy. And Max writing "goodbye letters" (that can only be read if she passes away)- makes this allegory more and more apparent.

Max says about other victims of vecna's : "fred and chrissy they both came to Mrs Kelly for help until it got worse and worse. Until everything ended. " Robin in response: "vecna's curse.'

Max reads Mrs Kelly’s notes about Vecna’s other victims- and the camera zooms in on the words “past tra*ma” (overlayed with miss kelly talking about Max’s experienes).We also have lucas deduce with Max that every target of Vecna has had "tra*ma ". Max says these tra*mas "haunt " the victims .We see earlier in the season lucas calls Max a "ghost" , because it's like she's "not even here". So when she almost dies /becomes a ghost, and lucas says they thought they lost her... she says to lucas : "I'm here . I'm still here". Because she's not a ghost- she's alive!she's here! That's a good thing.

However, we see that henry/vecna has a much more nihilistic pov- explaining his later actions as a "monster" .

Songs (Vecna):

The song which played during henry/Vecna's first m*rder is "Dream a little dream of me". It's an obvious vecna hint about how he as a dream-monster functions and preys on people who are depressed :" While you're alone and blue as can be ,dream a little dream of me ... dreams that leave worries behind you."

Vecna' pov is also in the song "running up that hill" : "it doesn't hurt me. Do you want to feel how it feels? Do you want to hear about the deal I'm making? Unaware, I'm tearing you asunder (apart). Oh come on darling, let me steal this moment from you now. Let's exchange the experience "

Vecna states he's putting his victim's "suffering"(hurt ) to an end. It's part of his "deal". They may be unaware his deal will literal tear them apart ("asunder"). And Henry(vecna) goes into / "steals" the memories of others, and even says his victims become part of him after ( aka: "exchanging the experiences".)

* Need to also point out how Henry pointing to his head- mirrors a scene where Brenner points to El’s head (her mind) and calls it a “prison”. I believe it adds an additional layer to the mental health allegory of vecna and his targets. We know Henry as a child had mental health issues, (feeling broken ) saying he felt like he was in a metaphorical “straight jacket” etc. But as vecna he targets vulnerable kids who have mental health issues (which he in the past suffered from)...

Also trivia fact: mindflayer in d&d is similar to vecna in st- he takes on the memories and personality traits, fears, etc of his past victims (after going for their brains) .But yeah vecna/henry has parallels to a bunch of the d&d monsters.I’ll discuss it in a latter post

Running up that hill (Max)

Max feelings are very clearly shown through the song. Lyric: "so much hate for the ones we love"

Later she states she sometimes wished she " ran" to billy and vecna says she even wished to join Billy in death. But as the song plays, Max instead "runs" to her friends (away from vecna) . She chose her friends and her life , over letting her grief "haunt" and "end" her . She thought of running to death ( towards Billy) but instead she ran to her support system and for her literal life.

running up that hill:" It's you and Me, won't be unhappy... I'd be running up that road. Running up that hill. With no problems."

Will's songs & how they connect to the allegory & "running up that hill" .

Well, a few years ago I stated how I thought 2 songs of Will's echoed his su*cidal thoughts. Which is seeming more and more likely, after s4. Link Here. Screenshots of my old analysis :

* We also had Will in s2 say he wishes it “was over” similar to Henry saying “everyone is waiting for it to be over.”

So all 3 of (Will/Max’s) songs signify fighting off su*cidal thoughts. And both max and Will survive the supernatural / negative thoughts because of these songs (and support systems of friends/family). However , victor who was snapped out of the supernatural via song - was left with no support system :(

-Dream a little dream: ( victor followed the voice on the record thinking it was an "angel" when it wasn't).The angel may be a possible (dark) symbol for the death/su*cide metaphor. de*d Chrissy is also called an “angel” at her funeral.

-Running up that hill : “ Come on darling. Come on come on angel -let me steal this moment from you now.”

-Should I stay or should I go : “darling, you got to let me know... come on should I stay or should I go?”

We see throughout the series max and Will parallel: both have their dad's leave them after a divorce, both are poor, both rage while using baseball bats (a symbol of ab*sive fathers), both are into horror/videogames/comics, both have a soft spot for dogs,both have movie posters about the ocean. Max had a Marty mcfly skateboard/ Will had a jacket in s1 meant to resembles Marty's. Both also have rainbow iconography. Both hide behind a wall from the supernatural monster. Both draw the visions they see- to others. One is called a “zombie” and the other a “ghost”. Both survive the supernatural by songs and their support systems. Both move from their houses and struggle mentally -similar to the creels.

We also have the creels’ moviing truck: the company was called “may-flower”. Cough like may-field . Max mayfield.

And ofcourse we also have Will /henry parallel: Both are called "sensitive" by a parent ,both are artists who wear plaid , both are undead wizards, both hate Dr's, both have Brenner fake their de*th, both are associated with fire/ electricity/rainbows, both see a clock hand move rapidly in a supernatural fashion (at the top of the Creel clock it says "Williams") . Will in s3 was handed a “forever clock” (vecna means “forever”).Both have a plot point relating to their necks. Henry mentions that "everyone is just waiting for it to be over" similar to Will saying "i just want this to be over". A swingset across the Creel house- may also be a parallel to Will’s swing memory. And both Henry/ Will’s siblings see a de*d rabbit.

We see the rabbit motif connect various characters- when El runs away from papa at the dinner "white rabbit" plays (and el's room at Terry's is filled with white rabbit imagery from the "alice in Wonderland " story). Then ofcourse we have alice creel seeing the hunted rabbit, similar to jonathan. And max also had rabbit figurines in her room in s3. While Billy's surname Hargrove means "Grove filled with rabbits". The surname derives from Cheshire, England (like Cheshire the cat-a character from Alice in wonderland). Cue El being (almost) forced to k*ll a cat (like jonathan with the rabbit), dart k*lling a cat, and the russian code being about a "silver cat". The reason why alice in wonderland is mentioned so much in the show- is because the story delves into the subject of a ‘dream world representing the unconscious mind’. Similar to to other stories directly referenced in the show like ‘wizard of oz’/ wizard of earthea/ ‘never ending story’,

We also have vecna/henry say he put a "mirror" up to people and their pasts . We see this parallel with Will, El, and Max (who all sadly stare into a mirror). However, el also puts a mirror to henry: she throws him through a mirror and he's electrocuted into vecna. A parallel to when Brenner electrocuted him and other numbers in the past... (running up that hill): " there is thunder in our hearts."

We also had Hopper feel like he’s a “curse”-as he describes the chemicals used on him as a teen in the war- which caused the kids of chemical corpsman to have “twisted backs”with “eyes popped out”. It shows a connection with “vecna’s curse” symbolically . Both “curses” were caused by experimental ab*ses of the usa gov. We also see both Henry/Hopper imprisoned in gov facilites- fyi soviets used to do similar scientific experiments in their prisons. Aka chem experiment in vietnam/ mkultra experiments done by Brenner. Both these plot points are also based on real usa experiments.

Thanks for reading. El/ Henry analyses will come next (there’s a lot more parallels to unpack with those 2 in particular).

#max mayfield #henry creel #will byers #el hopper #Lucas sinclair #stranger things #stranger things theory

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karrenseely · 2 months

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Emotional Regulation

So I have CPTSD. Everything I've read mostly points to this being a lifelong condition (yay :P) that is incredibly difficult for all of us whom suffer from it. I know it has been for me. I honestly don't know if I'd have developed it if my parents had been loving, supportive, and understanding like they should have. Because, even if they had been, I would still have likely had many many years of gas lighting from society, them, and my extended family to be a gender other than what I was. And that takes its toll on anyone's psyche.

But who knows, maybe if they'd been really supportive, then I wouldn't have had years of thinking I was crazy or shameful, maybe I would have transitioned really young as soon as I could tell them they were wrong. Then all I'd have to deal with is some body dysphoria. But then even that can take its toll as well. So I really couldn't say if I was destined to have this incredibly difficult mental health condition or not.

Either way, I really wish I'd had the loving supportive family every child deserves. I really wish I didn't find my psyche shattering as I grew up, getting stuck repeatedly at every traumatic event that I can remember, and actively forgetting everything I couldn't along with most of my other memories. Such that now, my memories consist of shattered disorganized shards scattered over the floor, most of those shards long since missing. It's really difficult to live when all you really have is now.

People talk about their childhoods like there's this linear well established timeline in their memories. It was a long time before I realized this was the typical way people remember their past. That for most people, they can remember approximately when such a memory occurred, in sequence with another. Even now, this is so foreign to me. I remember things in disjointed pieces, any one memory is not connected to any other. And few, if any, are connected to a specific time that I can locate.

Then there is the ability to remember what you did yesterday, or last week, or even last month in day to day life. That it's hard to know what's happened and what's been done recently. This was particularly bad when I was dissociating all the time, fortunately, therapy has helped with that part, and I don't do it as much and I can remember more of my day to day life. But even now, there are still significant holes in my memories of adult life. And admittedly as I struggle through my current flare of CPTSD symptoms, I sometimes wish I could dissociate like I used to so that I don't have to feel all of this horrible stuff. It hurts like hell.

If someone created the universe, they must be one of the most sadistic assholes to have ever existed, making it so healing is so effing painful, much less making thinking feeling beings feed off of one another.

In this journey of trying to heal, I've encountered many people talking about how, when we were abused as children we didn't develop our emotional regulation skills like normal loved, unabused kids do. I always found these comments or suppositions confusing. In large part due to the fact that I don't really understand what emotional regulation means. As a child, trying to survive, the only thing that worked, that made things even remotely bearable was dampening down on emotions until I didn't feel hardly anything at all. I wasn't particularly good at this, I still had feelings but they were distorted hazy half hearted things that would escape out, usually as anger, irritability, sadness, often fear, sometimes even joy would get out. But none were fully formed, or fully embraced, because if I did, then the pain would be in full force, the shame, the horror I constantly felt at what I was going through. So I did my best to damp down my emotions to almost nothing, and dissociate as much as I could so that I didn't have to feel or atleast remember feeling all those horrible things I felt. And the plus side to dissociation is that you truly only live in the moment. You can forget so much that way. You can ride the bus to school, but not remember any of it, just one moment you're at home and the next, poof, you're at school, and the next, poof, it's time to go home again and get on the bus, and poof the next you're at home again... you get the idea.

Emotions when all of the above were unsuccessful and I felt them anyway, usually it was the really really bad ones. And they were felt at 120% full blast. It was either 10 mph, or 120 mph. No inbetween. But people who talk about the ability to regulate emotions describe it as having inbetweens. Not having to feel the full blast, but not suppressing it completely either.

For the longest time when I encountered that phrase around emotional regulation, my mind just skittered past it, as it didn't make any sense to me. But I found myself thinking about it a couple months ago. And some kind fellow people with CPTSD pointed me to links that helped to explain the concept... except, those links were mostly just confusing. And unfortunately, my brain interpreted them as, "you are deficient, you're inability to regulate is your fault." Which didn't help. I honestly don't know if those explanations actually implied that, but it's what it felt like. Maybe because I didn't understand what they were saying.

Then... recently I returned to work, full time. And an interesting, if sucky, thing happened. I was fine at work, I could joke, I could laugh and have fun with coworkers and feel empathy for my patients and basically function somewhat like a typical human being in what I imagine is a healthy fashion. But as soon as I left work and went home, I had no energy left to keep the intrusive memories and emotions in check. And I would immediately start to crash. Spiraling down the rabbit hole of all those horrible memories. Nothing had specifically triggered them, it's just I ran out of spoons and they took over. I'd used up all my spoons at work.

Obviously, I'd overestimated my ability to return to full time work, but also it felt like there was an insight here. And it came down to my emotional bandwidth. If I had enough emotional energy, enough spoons, then minor triggers that normally would have lead me back down that lovely negative spiral, wouldn't actually set me off, and I could continue to function. And this was the neat part, I could continue to function without having all my walls slam down and turn everything numb. But, if I run out of that energy, if I run out of those spoons, then any little thing can set me down that self destructive spiral.

And the more I've thought about this, the more I think this is what people mean when they talk about emotional regulation. That most people have a large fount of this emotional energy to buffer against the extremes. And thus can handle day to day joys, stresses and hurtful things without completely falling apart. If this is the case then I guess I've developed some emotional regulation after all, though it's limited.

But why is it so limited? Why didn't I have any before? And the more I look at it. I see it in terms of bandwidth, energy, and/or spoons. Before, when I was having to live in survival mode, all of my emotional energy was being used to just survive. I was constantly in fight or flight. There was no energy to spare for nuance. My bandwidth was incredibly limited because so much of it was taken up with just surviving from one day to the next, with constant vigilance. But when we are no longer in those situations, and just as importantly, when we are not constantly flashing back to those situations, we start to have that bandwidth become available for the nuance. We can start feeling things in between because we have the energy to do so. It's no longer entirely about survive or die.

And that's the worst part about flashbacks. Even though I'm no longer in that constant life or death situation, those flashbacks have me believing I am. And contrary to popular media's depiction of flashbacks, most of the time it's not getting stuck in a living visual memory of an event. No, the vast majority of those flashbacks are emotional flashbacks. Getting stuck in the feelings of the event, the feelings I couldn't suppress anymore, the constant feeling of being in danger, of having my life, my very existence threatened, which brings on the constant sense of danger, of fight or flight. Which means, no emotional energy for anything else, except the extremes. Everything in my life currently can be perfectly fine, safe, wonderful even. But if I'm stuck in an emotional flashback, none of the current circumstances matter, because I'm emotionally back in survival mode, feeling constantly threatened, trying to survive, trying to decide if I need to fight or run. And if I'm stuck there... then there isn't any emotional energy left for anything else.

The really effing sucky part, is that often I don't know I'm in an emotional flashback until after it's gone away, and I can see looking back that how I was feeling didn't fit at all with what was actually happening at the time. I reacted to an outside observer in a rather extreme, or worse in a completely irrational manner. But then when I'm in the middle of it, I guess it's understandable that I have a hard time recognizing it, as all my energy is directed towards surviving, towards keeping the pain and my fears at bay.

So maybe emotional regulation is just having enough emotional energy to filter the experiences you're having into a much more nuanced pattern, rather than having to sort things into binary extremes of bad, not bad. And if that's the case, then maybe, just maybe, I am healing, because I'm starting to free up some of my bandwidth to start sorting out the nuances... even if I can't quite identify what those nuances are yet.

#trans #transgender #lgbt+#lgbtqia #lgbt #trans kids #childhood trauma #complex ptsd #trauma #family #Emotional regulation #mental health #coping #emotional flashbacks #flashbacks #emotional energy #emotional bandwidth #lgbtqia+#queer

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aconflagrationofmyown · 8 months

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as much as i want the “elaine telling elvis she’s pregnant” sarge and lil mama one shot, i CANNOT imagine how captain presley is gonna be with pregnant rosy (assuming they have kids) he’s gonna be horrible but so so excited and happy

Oh my word, you are a delight because -you can taste the chaos.

There will be kids, let me just say that. There will be a happy-ish ending.

But will they continue to be precious disasters about it? Duh, it’s very much woven into their psyches at this point although they are the cliche of stronger together. I do perceive Rosey as being one of the least “motherly” of all my gals, it doesn’t mean she is bad at it or doesn’t want it, she’s just slightly indifferent towards her children any more than other kids who she’s had to raise and care for.

I think that happens sometimes with women who had to take on a lot of responsibility “too young” and so they’re not chomping at the bit for even more in their maturity. Also, some of my friends and I decided she’s a bit of a grump when pregnant -and who wouldn’t be back in the 1800’s? You know how people say summer pregnancies are the worst? Yeah well, it’s EVEN WORSE when the entire planet has no AC and minimal comforts to offer a swollen woman with an aching back.

BUT CP?! Oh, a mess in the most caring and doting and capable way. Of both his wife and his kids. He clocks the mood, for sure, and perhaps that and fear of losing her in childbirth cuts the kid count down for them, but he’s altogether ecstatic about it.

So happy to be a dad, so natural at it that it seems almost like something was always missing, within a week of their birth he can easily draw a pistol while not disturbing the sleeping infant in his arms. Literally living a dream he thought would never happen. Sleeps in the most bizarre positions so he can still lay on Rosey while holding his child/children.

#…regarding captain Presley #elvis fanfiction #elvis presley #AWM asks

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novelmonger · 15 days

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Book Review: Echo North by Joanna Ruth Meyer

Recommended by @sailforvalinor for the 2024 Book Rec Exchange

Premise: When she was a child, Echo Alkaev tried to save a white wolf from a bear trap, but when it escaped, it slashed her face with its claws and scarred her terribly. Ashamed of her scars and the way everyone stares at her and whispers about her, Echo tries to be content with living out her days simply helping her father with his bookstore, hiding away from the world. But then one winter her father goes missing, and she finds him lying half-dead in the snowy forest. The very same wolf who wounded her appears before them, offering to save her father's life--if she will agree to live with him in his house for a year. She agrees, and goes to live with a talking wolf in a magical house filled with impossibilities. And there is one more rule she must follow: At night, she must sleep in the same room as the wolf, but she must never light the lamp and look at his face.

Quote that should have been on the back of the book: "'The power to save him is in your grasp,' said the wolf. 'Choose. Come with me now--or let your father die.'"

Thoughts: So basically this is like Beauty and the Beast + Cupid & Psyche + a whole bunch of other myths/fairy tales...in Russia! With wolves! And lots of books! I loved it right away, because I'm an absolute sucker for anything related to Beauty and the Beast, and I love wolves. I can guarantee that if I read this when I was a teenager, I would have been absolutely feral about it. And even now, I still had a great time with it! It really captures that fairy tale feel, with inexplicable, impossible magic like the book-mirrors and old curses that can only be broken with the power of love. I think because of that, the book kept on making me think of Diana Wynne Jones and Studio Ghibli.

I have to admit, I got so wrapped up in the Beauty and the Beast parallels through the majority of the book that I almost forgot the Cupid and Psyche elements! But then those elements came in at the last minute, suddenly changing the whole trajectory of the book and going in a direction I wasn't expecting (and changing the very style in which it was written!). But that's the way of some fairy tales too, and I loved all the plot twists. There were several moments in Part Two that were seriously epic, and I even ended up crying at the end - which I was not expecting to do!

One negative thing I'll say is that the book felt strangely...unedited? Or like it needed one more proofreading pass, at least. I found a frankly embarrassing amount of typos for a published book, sometimes as much as one or two words that were missing entirely. There were also a couple moments where a character would more or less repeat what had been said right before, without acknowledgement that it had already been said. It just felt like Meyer had written a second draft of the scene and forgotten to remove the first-draft stuff. Nothing story-breaking or too confusing, but it got rather distracting at times. Maybe I just got the first edition and a later edition would iron out those wrinkles?

But on the plus side, I have to give Joanna Ruth Meyer mad props for writing a truly excellent Actually Strong Female Character. Her strength of will and the things she's willing to endure for love were truly inspiring. She didn't have to learn how to use flashy magic or wield a sword to demonstrate her strength (though she does learn quite a lot about magic and does some fencing). She loves books and music, she longs to be beautiful and to just settle down comfortably with a family who loves her. She's basically the opposite of the annoying "girlboss" trope...and yet she is so strong. She would walk to the ends of the earth, endure excruciating pain, and never let go of the people she loves, because her strength comes from her compassion and love. I absolutely adore that. We need more stories like this one.

#book thoughts #book rec exchange 2024 #echo north #joanna ruth meyer #thanks val!#'it was me' 'it was always you' a;ldkjfs;dklfjdkljfdslkfj T^T

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twoidiotwriters1 · 16 days

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The Curse of Oenone (Leo Valdez xFem!Oc)

A/N: I love writing characters spilling their guts out, couldn't be me 😩✌🏼-Danny Words: 1,962 Series' Masterlist Previous Chapter // Next Chapter Listen to: 'I Love You Too' -by Ezra Bell

XXXVIII: I Go through ✨Character Development✨

"So. You come to claim the scepter."

The boys stand on each side of Ara. Jason raises his voice. "Cupid, where are you?"

The voice laughs, but they can't quite place it. "Where you least expect me. As Love always is." Something tosses Jason away. Nico and Ara stand closer together in alarm. "You've found true love, after all. Or do you still doubt yourself?"

"Go get him," Ara tells Nico urgently.

The boy rushes over to get Jason. "You okay?"

"Yeah. Just sucker punched."

"Oh, did you expect me to play fair? I am the god of love. I am never fair." An arrow misses Nico's backside thanks to Jason's quick reflexes, the boys return to her side, and Ara changes Almighty into a bow."You're not a good archer, Arae." Eros taunts her. "Even Michael couldn't make you better that skill, no matter how hard you desired to impress him."

"Shut up!" Ara's face flushes. "Leave him out of this!"

"You don't get to silence me today." An arrow flies past, piercing a column right next to her face. Ara lifts her bow with shaky hands."You've undermined me enough."

"Is this guy Love or Death?" Jason scowls.

"Ask your friends. Frank, Hazel, and Percy met my counterpart, Thanatos. We are not so different. Except Death is sometimes kinder."

"We just want the scepter!" Nico insists. "We're trying to stop Gaea. Are you on the gods' side or not?"

Another arrow tries to hit Nico again, and he barely manages to dodge it."Love is on every side. And no one's side. Don't ask what Love can do for you."

"Great," Jason grumbles. "Now he's spouting greeting card messages."

He manages to injure Eros, there is ichor on the tiles where the god had stood."Very good, Jason," he sounds a bit strained. "At least you can sense my presence. Even a glancing hit at true love is more than most heroes manage."

"So now I get the scepter?" Jason asks impatiently.

"Unfortunately, you could not wield it. Only a child of the Underworld can summon the dead legions. And only an officer of Rome can lead them."

"But..." Jason hesitates, then quickly pushes it aside. "Just leave that to us. Nico can summon—"

Another arrow passes by striking Nico. It leaves no mark and draws no blood, the arrows aren't meant for that. The boy clutches his arm nonetheless like it's burning him. "Stop! Both of you!" Ara orders to the boys.

"Enough games!" Nico's eyes are wild, for a moment he looks like the ten-year-old he once was. "Show yourself!"

"No!" Ara pleads frantically. "We don't want to fight you—"

She gets kicked out of the circle. "You loathe me, little sister. All you do is oppose me—You think me a monster."

"Does it matter?" Ara grunts, pulling herself up to a crouching position. "I'm in love, aren't I?"

"You hold it like a curse," the god snarls. "Our mother cursed Psyche for her distrust. My poor lover was tormented, forced into exile, given horrible tasks to prove her worth. She was even sent to the Underworld on a quest to show her dedication. She earned her way back to my side, but she suffered greatly. If you face what you fear, you must conquer it."

Lighting hits near her feet and Ara screams. Jason lifts his sword to the sky, and a second later he gets thrown again, and Ara tries to get up to aid him. An arrow pierces her heart front to back and vanishes as quickly as it hits her.

The same burning heat she felt in the Argo II spreads across her chest, as a dark and poisonous-looking stain douses her shirt and fills her with heartwrenching memories. All the regressions she's had since childhood, Leo's playful eyes, crooked grin... Mike's roaring laughter, how his hair smelled, and how soft his hoodie felt on her. The very same hoodie she's kept at the back of her closet and hasn't thrown out or used since he died.

Ara collapses, tearing chunks of grass around her as she tries to pull air into her lungs. "Stop!" Nico watches the stain on her shirt grow and tries to get to her, but Eros drags him back. "Leave her alone!"

"Poor Nico di Angelo," Eros mocks him. "My beloved Psyche risked everything in the name of Love. It was the only way to atone for her lack of faith—the same lack of faith Arae has. And you... what have you risked in my name?"

"I've been to Tartarus and back," Nico growls. "You don't scare me."

"I scare you very, very much. As much as I scare my sister. Face me. Be honest."

Ara tries to get up, but a second arrow strikes her in the gut and vanishes just like the first one. Eros won't let her recover enough to fight him, her shirt is soaked with this obscure liquid she can't identify. It isn't blood, but it pours out at a quick pace burning her skin like acid, she's not dying but it almost feels that way.

Memories of the moment she fell in love with Leo get pulled from under her like a rug, and then Eros forces her to relive her first kiss, and how beautifully Mike behaved then. She'd pretended it hadn't been a big deal, but things changed between them after that night, she was too scared of what it meant and couldn't bring herself to face the truth.

"Give us Diocletian's scepter," Nico steps forward trying to shield her. "We don't have time for games."

"Games?" Eros slaps him and Nico falls over from the sheer force of it. "Love is no game! It is no flowery softness! It is hard work—a quest that never ends. It demands everything from you—especially the truth. Only then does it yield rewards."

"Nico," Jason pants, tossed around by the wind in his attempts to fight Eros. "What does this guy want from you?"

"Tell him, Nico di Angelo. Tell him you are a coward, afraid of yourself and your feelings. Tell him the real reason you ran from Camp Half-Blood, and why you are always alone."

"Stop it!" Ara gathers enough strength to stand. "I yield!" She can't recognize her voice, it's too full of despair. "Leave Nico out of it... You can have me."

"The children of Olympus have always belonged to me," Eros muses, his voice moving past her as quick as his arrows."But you, dear sister... you're just like me. People call me a monster, so what does that make you?"

Her hands are still clutching onto her past, trying to squeeze it out of existence. The one thing keeping her together was deep-rooted self-denial, and Eros wanted her to give it up. The moment she decided to pull her grief out, she would be nothing but an empty shell.

Ara's stomach twists with disgust as she struggles to speak. "Just don't... don't hurt Nico anymore."

She's the kind of person who wants to die undefeated, but she is willing to lose if it means she can right a wrong. This is what Hercules warned her about, Eros is right, all the children of Olympus have suffered through him, they are always bound to kneel before love and let it break them.

Eros sounds almost proud. "Very well. Though be warned, Di Angelo won't be excused forever."

"Enough," Ara takes a deep breath and speaks firmly. "You're right. I blamed you for my actions even when I was old enough to know better. I told those who asked that it was all you, that I was a victim..."

She collapses again, feeling like her insides are melting. Ara coughs a couple of times before continuing.

"I'm not the victim here. I'm not even cursed." Ara feels the tip of Eros's arrow pressing on her ribcage. "I am Leo Valdez's curse. If he keeps me he'll die... and I want to let it happen. And Michael Yew... Michael Yew was my first love. I refused to admit it, and Mike died thinking he had nothing to gain if he fought for his life. But that wasn't your fault, I decided to keep quiet. I'm the one who hurts everyone."

"Love is kind, but only if you care for it." The god's voice softens. "If you neglect it, it rots."

The staff falls at Nico's feet. Ara's hands cover her face and she sobs at last, overwhelmed by guilt. She cries her heart out, tightly holding onto the roots of her hair to exteriorize the pain that burns her gut.

All this time she's forced the world to acknowledge she can do everything while wounding the love it has for her. None of what she's done matters, because she keeps rejecting the things in life that would give them meaning.

"I'm sorry." Today, those words sting more than ever. "I was falling out of control and... Silena always said feeling too much was dangerous. I got scared."

Dark, beautiful, and so powerful it makes her cry like a baby, Eros materializes in front of her. "You misunderstood," he presses a hand to her chest, and Ara gets a high-level empath touch treatment, pulling out the poisoned love so she can breathe better. "Love conquers all, learn from it—only then you add to the legacy of my children of Olympus. Don't fight your emotions, feed them right."

He vanishes, leaving Ara with a warm and fuzzy sensation in her chest. Just a little uncomfortable, as it always is when true love strikes you for the first time.

"Why did you do that?" Weak steps get closer.

"I had to," Ara replies hoarsely.

"He wanted my confession."

"No, Eros thought you'd cave faster," she gazes down at the stain on her shirt, which is probably ruined for good. "We made a deal, and words don't get through to me, I'm a charmspeaker and a matchmaker."

"What's a matchmaker?" Jason approaches from her right.

"Someone who sees soul lights," she mumbles, still not looking at them. "People lit up like Christmas lights when they're near something they love, or thinking about it."

"Piper told me those are a myth," Jason continues. "But... I guess they're not?"

"It means you know what he wanted me to admit," Nico states in a strange voice.

Ara sits upright. "Eros just wanted heartache, Nico. We're full of it, but it was my turn to lose."

Nico kneels in front of her. "Why?" He asks confused and upset. "You could've told him just to hurt me and—"

"I wish I didn't care that I'm nothing next to my brother and you," she looks up at him bitterly, her lower lip quivering. "Because then I'd love you like before. We were good friends once, but I can't stand to have you near me. I'm just a weaker version of what you could be."

Ara uses her sword to steady herself and gets to her feet. Nico looks at her unmoving, an expression of shock on his face, but she doesn't want his compassion, so she looks away. The girl wants to sleep for a week, at last, she thinks she's done enough.

"Ara," Jason inches closer. "This must've taken a lot from you. Thank you."

Her torso stings, and every time she takes a breath her chest tightens as if she's recovering from pneumonia. Ara feels a sharp cramp near her heart and she doubles over. Jason catches her and she has no choice but to let him. Nico looks like he wants to help, but she leans closer to the older boy.

"We have to take her back to the ship—"

"I'll do it," Nico offers promptly. "Shadow travel is faster. We don't know if her heart's okay, the arrow went right through it."

Ara glares at him, but to Nico, she looks as threatening as a wounded doe. "I overexerted myself, that's all. Been a while since I cried this way, but I'm not dying."

"We should be careful anyway, you're body went through a lot," Jason disputes. "Alright Nico, take us to the ship."

Next Chapter –>

Taglist.

@siriuslysirius1107 @ask-giggles1303 @asnyox-the-hoarder @im-planning-something-look @bandshirts-andbooks @coolninjapaper @thewaterlily @whenisthefall @1randomcomic @you-bloody-shank @sunflowergraves @owlalex44 @taylordaughter @typicalsolangelolover @writingmia @espressopatronum454 @slytherinnqueen @orbitingpolaris @obxstiles @ellipsisspelled @thepixiechicksh @ebony-reine-vibes

#twoidiots writing #pjo fanfic #leo valdez fanfic #doo #leo valdez x oc #heroes of olympus #percy jackson and the olympians

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libellule-ao3 · 5 months

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Life Links

15. Merula Snyde/The most powerful

Summary:

A quick reminder of the situation of the characters in the Circle of Khanna for those who have been waiting for the chapter since...

Beatrice Haywood and Liz Tuttle are in the Fidgi Islands. The latter is haunted by one of her predictions.

Chiara and Diego fled the country months ago and have found refuge in Deauville. After months of servitude, Penny Haywood joins them just before the Battle, along with Jae Kim, who is very worried about his long-time partner, Annie.

Attacked in Hogsmeade by a patrol of Death Eaters, Tulip has taken advantage of an opportunity to flee, leaving Charlie Weasley to his fate.

Badeea is dealing with the loss of her husband, Auror Talbott Winger.

After a final farewell to their respective loved ones, Aurors Tonks and Thorn are on their way to Hogwarts.

Barnaby Lee, a proven Death Eater, his actions proves that he has not yet severed the links that bind him to his former classmates As for Ben, he has joined Fenrir Greyback's pack and is attacking the Castle.

Today, we meet Merula and her mother, Luscinia Snyde, after Jacob and Penny's release.

Chapter index - previous chapter (Ben Copper) - next chapter (Rosmerta)

"Would you like biscuits with your tea, Madam...?"

Yes, Mother...

Merula accepts in a tone devoid of the worldly politeness that befits their circle and slumps inelegantly into one of the living room armchairs, exhausted from a too recent Cruciatus Curse. This is in stark contrast to her mother, who holds herself together with a righteousness so ingrained in her that even a decade of imprisonment has failed to hunch her.

“Oh, I forgot to buy biscuits,” the woman exclaims, tucking a thin strand of salt-and-pepper hair that has escaped back from her tight bun.

Merula waves her wand with exasperation. Cupboard doors open, a cascade of biscuit packets tumbles out. Luscinia Snyde* stares at the boxes on the floor without understanding.

She does not remember. She doesn’t remember buying biscuits this morning, yesterday, every day this week, and every day the week before.

“We can never have enough biscuits anyway!” decrees the former Death Eater with a sheepish smile.

"Isn’t that right Madame, er...?"

“Merula.”

Luscinia’s expression changes abruptly, as if the secret of her existence has just been revealed to her. Suspended from this look suddenly filled with unknown knowledge, a glimmer of hope threatens to melt Merula’s icy heart. Because Luscinia sometimes manages to recover a whole memory, following the mention of one tiny detail, like a thread of wool that is pulled out of a knitted fabric until the whole ball of yarn is reformed. Provided that this detail finds an echo in her bruised psyche, provided that the magic works.

“If I’d had a daughter, I would have given her the same name!”

A dagger in the heart... Again! Magic never works when it comes to the surly faced Curse-Breaker who inherited Luscinia’s formidable vocal abilities. The Dementors tore away every happy memory, whole swathes of happiness. They have plundered her memory so much that it is screwed up. Her mother is broken.

Today, Luscinia knows her head is sick, but she can’t use a wand or remember what she did this morning, or, most horribly, that she has a daughter. Nor does she remember Voldemort’s visits, the tortures in the cellars or her husband going to Hogwarts for the Final Battle. The good thing is that she won’t ask about the sleeping guards or the two missing prisoners.

Nevertheless, Merula is enraged. She grew up in this manor, alone, between the monthly visits of her aunt, who preferred to let a child face alone the threats of reprisals on her person rather than assume the education of a Death Eater’s daughter. Driven by vengeful ambition, the heiress has been striving to reach the heights of magical skill to deter the avengers, prove her worth, regain the respect she is due and surpass her entire lineage!

The escape of Death Eaters and Voldemort’s rise to power has turned everything upside down. However, although she denied it, Merula had hoped for a hint of parental recognition, but all she got from her mother was the distance reserved for strangers, and from her father, the indifference of a miserable Voldemort puppet.

Voldemort... It’s all his fault! He’s the gangrene! And Merula harbours a deep grudge against this deceitful half-blood hypocrite who stole her life! But to oppose him directly is to oppose the last remaining members of her family... The Curse-Breaker has never been able to bring herself to do that.Footsteps sound in the parqueted corridor. On the lookout, Merula stands up, wand in hand, while her mother collects the boxes of biscuits, oblivious to the looming threat. The hinges of the heavy oak door creak. A cold sweat runs down her spine and Jacob Thorn appears, waving a white scarf in peace.

The young woman slips away without a word. Out of sight, Luscinia Snyde will not remember her presence. Once the door closes behind her, the mask of civility falls off. Merula grabs Jacob by the collar, slams him against the wall and thrusts her wand into his jugular.

“What the hell are you doing here?” she spits fiercely.

“I came to get you,” he replies with the aplomb of a man used to her mood swings. “I got it all figured out.”

“Fuck! What took you so long?” she grumbles, her amethyst eyes blazing with anger and resentment.

In his eyes, Merula finds all the pleas for forgiveness he doesn’t make. He is far too proud of that. Fortunately! Jacob is not like his sister, who flattens herself at the slightest frown. Merula could never have fallen in love with a wimp!

“Come with me,”

Her snarl wavers, jostled by the surges of her heart torn between her insecurities and her convictions. The man takes the opportunity to brush aside the threat of her wand.

“Get out of your cage, Little Bird... I need you. To weaken Voldemort, Nagini must be shot.”

That last sentence shakes her. Jacob, the most secretive, independent guy in the whole of the UK, needs her. A certainty intoxicates her: if someone like Jacob believes in you, needs you, he gives you value and everything becomes possible! The whole world can be yours! With this thought alone, an incredible feeling of power secretly awakens in her.

“Of course! You’d never make it without me!” scoffs the Curse-Breaker. “Besides, without me, you’d still be naked in my basement!”

“I might never have gone there if you hadn’t sent me!”

“You would have preferred ‘death or insanity’ maybe?”

Jacob takes a few seconds to absorb what he has escaped, thanks to Merula. Then he scans her unblinkingly, waiting for her decision. He knows her well. He knows that she will use the slightest superfluous word to delay the inevitable. There is a tense silence between the most powerful former witch at Hogwarts and the only man she tolerates as her equal. Then a provocative smile emerges.

“Damn, Merula! The most powerful witch at Hogwarts is not going to hole up like a rat at such a crucial time! It’s a disgrace!”

A/N: *I named her mother Luscinia because that is the Latin name for birds of the nightingale family. Both blackbirds and nightingales are birds of melodious song, and Merula’s mother is known to be talented enough to be a member of the Frog Choir. Incidentally, I liked the little alliteration in Luscinia Snyde.

#hphm #hogwarts mystery #merula snyde #ll fic #jacob thorn #hphm jacob

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ancientgoddessofegypt · 1 year

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TRANSIT VENUS IN THE 8TH/ NATAL VENUS HOUSES EDITION

1st house venus and transiting venus 8th house

you could make a lot of money through others (8th house) with your looks at this time.

2nd house venus and transit venus in 8th then your finances should be the main focus. also secrets about money could come to the forefront.

3rd house venus - transit venus in 8th house - communicating/expressing anything you love/value is a good way to make money. anything you've kept a secret or private it would be a good time to let it go for transmuting. everything doesnt have to be in the light, but so much doesnt need to be in the dark either. this could be a good way to let out what you've been hiding and giving it that chance to be noticed.

4th house venus - transit venus in 8th

family matters, secrets unfolding. what was that he said? inner child may be giving you the chance to free yourself. what you loved to do as a kid may be nurturing you need at this time. mother may come up or some type of feminine figure in your life may have a secret, something hidden coming to the surface about love, money, affairs in relationships to family.

5th house venus - transit venus in 8th

money through creativity ! giving light to what you love. whatever has been hidden in romance will reach the surface. passionate affairs might come at this time.

6th house venus - transit venus in 8th

transformation in your routine/health.

might change your style/wardrobe. I feel like your sex life could be a focus here. if you end up buying a pet at this time it could really be healing and transform you a little, animals are able to do that <3

other peoples money may come in through some type of service that you do.

7th house venus - transit venus in 8th

transformation in affairs with other people. life-changing experiences with someone you may love (could be someone new as well). romance could be intense, passionate. you could simply get other peoples money doing what ever, since 7th house rules partnerships and 8th house rules other peoples money.

8th house venus - transit venus in 8th

venus return. transformation/healing and secrets meant to be kept hidden. might have some beauty secrets that only work best for you ;) might be more vulnerable/more powerful at this time with your artistic and self expression. this could be the boost you need to surrender/release what is no longer serving your heart.

9th house venus - transit in 8th house

transformation of beliefs about self love. you may travel at this time as well, it could be really beneficial for you. something you've learned/studied for sometime might have something hidden and it could show itself to you. you have the keys to a missing puzzle. you could teach others your favorite topic, this'll make you magnetic to other people.

10 house venus - transit in 8th

transformation in how you see yourself, your art, what you love and what you want to do publicly. how you are too the public may also go through some sort of transformation for better or for worse.

you could be noticed for subtle changes, how private you've become or something hidden might come up to the surface that you might share publicly (or it might just come out because its time).

11th house venus - transit in 8th

you might change dreams and goals. what you wanted might not be the same anymore, and thats okay. the values and beliefs you've had about community and friends might change, so where you see yourself with society and friends could change too.

12th house venus - transit in 8th

psyche might be going through lots of shadow work. I hear 'patience' for you guys. subtle changes in subconscious and art will be a good outlet for you to release any burdens. self-love could be psychologically transformed at this time due to subconscious/unconscious bringing certain things to light.

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