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#I've had this sketch for SO LONG and i've only now finished it :^)

alllgator-blood · 1 month

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I call this one "found family but it goes horribly wrong in an irreparable way" :)

I've been doing a lot of cotl comics but I kinda lost my comic making endurance after not working on art since last september, so I made this to help me flex my art muscles. Apologies for the watermarks lmao they kinda kill the mood but I've already had people repost my art when I put it on reddit so...might as well get the credit if my stuff is gonna be reposted regardless. RAMBLE INCOMING!!

Thinking about how shamura was most likely the one to find + raise their adopted siblings and help them survive the mass deicide that happened thousands of years before....OUUGH. I have so many ideas for comics that take place when half the bishops were still lil kids. I have one in progress right now actually. But it just hurts when I remember how it all ends- they loved their family for so long and yet they credit their love as what caused it to fall apart!!! The lore of the bishops only sunk in when I was dealing with my own heavy sibling angst, and I was like wow....shamura supported the sibs so much they accidentally encouraged their brother into being a heretic, and couldn't close pandora's box in time to save him or the rest of the family. They blame themself for the past 1,000 years and seem to be totally okay with dying for what they did?? Like when they get sent to the shadow realm they tell you to "finish the job" instead of leaving them in purgatory. And despite being the bishop of war, they are the only bishop to not have a "desperate" phase where their attacks get more brutal. They're not desperate, they just want to get it over with. All their other siblings are dead by then anyway so it's not like they have anything to stick around for, even if they were healthy enough to win the battle. Plus I mean...narinder is the bishop of death so they probably just want to see him one last time. Owch

Don't get me wrong I love to hate narinder and his only role in my cult is the guy who cleans the outhouse, but I really like his dynamic with shamura vs. the other siblings. I kinda see him as the troubled kid that couldn't assimilate into the family and shamura took it upon themself to try and fix him. It's interesting thinking about how they're the only one he shows remorse for despite feeling the most betrayed by them. I don't think he 100% hates them, he's just been locked in gay baby jail for so long he's had nothing better to think about than "my sibling encouraged me to experiment with my godly duties, and then punished me for it!!". He's not wrong? But also is shamura that wrong either??? Idk it's complicated with no real answer and I like it a lot, I wish the game told us more about what the bishops were like before they got their shit rocked during the schism. I would've loved to see shamura before their brain was turned to mush by their tbi + 1,000 years of suffocating grief and crushing guilt :)

ANYWAY thanks for making it to the bottom of this rant, here is a sketch I did a while ago of shamura + baby leshy from a prequel au thing I don't have a name for yet:

#cult of the lamb #comic #cotl #cotl bishops #shamura #kallamar #narinder #the one who waits #heket #leshy

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letmeinimafairy · 5 months

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The making of painted stones

Well, a few times I was asked to show the process of miniature paintings on stones, and here is my first attempt to capture and explain it. Warning - I only have my phone's camera at my disposal, so the quality is not very good.

Firstly - an idea for the image. Every stone has something in its pattern that can be a starting point for developing an imagery. The stone I picked for this one is a beautiful Picasso jasper, and in this case I was looking for a stone for a specific idea I've already had in mind. Spontaneous improvisation dictated by the stone's pattern is also great but I decided to pick something more definitive for better illustrating the process.

This jasper's pattern already has outlines that can be developed into a landscape without painting it over too much. I don't like it when stones are just mindlessly covered by slapping a random image on it, ignoring the colours, textures and patterns.

Here's the idea - ruins of an amphitheatre overgrown with red gladioluses. I know, I know, but I'm very interested in the initial mystical sacrificial background of gladiators. So here it is, arena covered in red, swords in the sand, but it's finally quiet.

Before we start, a stone must be varnished - minerals are porous, and lacquer smoothes its surface. I paint with tempera - most artists who work in lacquer miniatures use oils, but tempera allows quicker process, which is important for me. I'm autistic and my executive dysfunction makes working with oils difficult - my sudden bursts of activity won't match with drying timings and such. So, tempera for me.

Starting with sketching the outlines of the ruins and painting our light source, the sun and red clouds. I'm trying to work with a palette that the stone already has and make the painting as harmonious as possible.

Erasing auxiliary lines as we continue.

Done with the first layer - the walls and the sky. After the paint dries, I apply varnish (I use Novol clearcoat, car varnish - it's very durable). There can be as many layers as you need.

Now - the flowers and details.

After the painting is finished, it'll need several layers of varnish. And some fine sandpaper (1500) in-between the finishing layers for better grip.

And here it is! time to think abou a necklace for this one.

I'm not sure how useful I can be and what aspects you would like to know, so feel free to ask. I'm not sure I can make a good enough video with my current phone, so this'll have to wait. I tried to skip all the musings about ideas and finding stories, but whatever. And the time needed for work - I don't know. There was a month-long pause in the making of this one, due to a couple of emergencies that knocked me down for some time, and it's not easy for me in general due to my mental state - sometimes I can make a painting in two days, sometimes it takes years, nothing is certain with me, especially now. But well, here's what I do.

#miniature #painted stones #rock painting #painted rocks #minerals #picasso jasper #jasper #amphitheatre #arena #gladiators #gladiolus #gladioluses #flowers #ruins #roman ruins #ancient rome #sky #my art

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cyberrose2001 · 10 months

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Hi hi! Your op drawings are so good?? My bby aaa drawing him (bots in gen) is so tough, I get too caught up in the details TT

Anyway, since I miss him lol I was wondering if I could request some... uh, gosh I hate this word but idk anything synonymous. Could I request pussydrunk tfp op?

Hope you're having a nice day/night btw <3

- 🍄

TFP pussydrunk!Optimus x reader

Hi hello!!I am very proud of this and it's probably up there with my list of my favourite fics I have ever written. Thank you so much for requesting and liking my silly sketches of the blorbo. I've written this as gender neutral <3

(lowkey ive been writing heaps of OP eating pussy,,, its a canon event for me i cannot intervene..... anyway its 11AM and i havent slept yet but i needed to finish hggggh *dies of horny*)

Warnings: Oral sex (reader receiving), edging, reader has a vagina.

Word count: 657

18+ ONLY! MINORS DNI

Spending time alone with you has learned to be one of Optimus' most treasured past times. But as much as it pains him, relaxing with you is a rare treat. The usual business of the base either keeps him up all night, or he genuinely has no time. However, he tries his best to make the most of it, whether he's relaxing with you, cuddling you, or with his head glued between your inner thighs.

Like right now. It was nearing two AM. Optimus has you sprawled out on your shared berth, his face pressed against your aching heat, finally finding sweet relief from his built-up arousal. It's been too fragging long since his face was buried in you. He misses it, and if Optimus had a choice, he would sacrifice everything he's worked for to keep you bare before him.

Two hours. Optimus had been lazily lapping at you for two hours now. At one point, his helm had lulled to the side to rest against your right inner thigh to not strain his neck. His glossa grows tired, and his energon roars through his hot frame.

His stamina is almost depleted compared to when he initially delved into your drenched pussy. Despite this, Optimus still has the capacity to tightly grip your hips, gently massaging them as you lie still for him. He is weary, yet he perseveres, ignoring his aching joints and pulsing spike painfully pressed against the berth because tonight is about you. He will make up for all those lonely nights you've spent in berth alone in one lengthy oral session.

It's very often that when Optimus gives you oral, his mind feels like he's been transported to a higher plane of existence, one where he has no responsibilities or obligations to lead a team, just the mind-numbing taste of you. It makes him dizzy and light-headed, similar to the buzz he gets when he has a high grade or two, but Optimus prefers revelling in you instead to get his high.

As ever patient as you are with your star-crossed lover, your hips still gently roll and shudder involuntarily against his glossa, and Optimus fucking loves it. He loves your soft cries when he sucks on your clit, and he loves when you clamp your legs around his helm when your orgasm is merely within reach. But he won't let you finish just yet, not when he's yet to relish and thoroughly drown himself in your sticky sweet.

His warm optics remain lazily trained on your face, only fluttering close when you squeeze his helm. The pressure from your thighs only heightens his hunger, a carnal desire to swallow every drop of your aphrodisiac juices.

"Mmmmm," You mewl, sweaty palms digging into the berth, "Fuck, I missed this… why don't we do this - aah - more often, baby…."

Optimus doesn't respond, and he can't because his processor is so intoxicated and aroused that he can't even form a single coherent sentence. It's quite ironic, he thinks. A mech of his nature that is so poised and articulate in his vocable is conned by his own desperate need to surrender his intake to his humans' essence.

"Mmmffh," He purrs into your heat, parting your sensitive lips with his glossa, lazily swirling around your bud before pressing a gentle kiss against it. He can't help but grind his spike into the berth below at your whimpers, servos kneading into your soft flesh, "More… Primus, I need more…."

You titter breathlessly, snaking a hand to the top of his helm to lightly press his face further into your pulsing heat, and Optimus delightfully grunts. You shiver, biting back a moan at the vibrations, "Go ahead, hun, you've got me for the rest of the night."

Optimus may need to blow a hole into the sun to prevent it from rising, since one night will never be enough to satisfy his thirst for you.

#transformers #transformers prime #transformers x reader #tfp optimus #tfp x reader #tfp optimus x reader #tfp optimus prime x reader #tfp x reader smut #valveplug #smut #cyberrosewrites

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ja3honey · 4 months

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♡ 𝐇𝐮𝐫𝐭𝐬 𝐋𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐇𝐞𝐥𝐥 | 𝐀𝐥𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐄𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 ♡

【Synopsis】 : It's been so long since you've seen your boys. And when the youngest comes knocking on your door, the new life you had only just managed to build comes crashing down.

『Word count』 : 4.8k

-> Genre: Mafia au. Angst. Fluff.

Pairing: Mob Boss!Ot8 Ateez x Reader

[Warnings] : lots of heart ache. The reader is beside herself a lot. Blood. Gore. Death. Torture. Reader gets kidnapped. Tears. Hugging. Lots of cry. Grovelling (we stan a good grovel). And yeah, lots of angst but fluffy at the end. Kissing. Mingi got a dirty mind. Whoops.

Note: uh, so hi. Ahha It's been a while... I finally decided to actually finish the alt ending of this fic. I've had people ask for more, and I honestly forgot about it. But then i saw someone send in THIS request, and it made me want to finish this. So this can be read as a stand-alone. But if you want to read part 1 and the other ending. Go ahead, otherwise enjoyyyyy ♡

Part one | Other Ending

Masterlist | Navigation

You were alone. Wandering through life with nothing to hold onto. You were going underwater, and no one was around to help you above the heavy waves. You were numb. Heartbreak ridding you of happiness… Or so you thought.

Through a bottle or two... Maybe three or four. You found at the end of it. You were just as unhappy as you were before you took the first sip. You needed a change. A change of scenery. A change of personality. A completely new life. So there you were two towns over. Maybe not a whole country away from the old you, but this was just as good. A new apartment. New job. Architectural design. You enjoyed it, so dearly. It became something that kept you going. That kept you waking up. You were fighting for a glimpse of happiness in mornings that were still hard, and nights were just as restless as ever.

You were alone. Yes. But you tried.

It's been two whole years. You think you’d forgotten everything by now. But the biggest, deepest pain didn’t seem to heal as quickly as everyone says it does. Fucking Liars…

You were having a break from your long hours of sketching a new mansion floor plan, a private owner wanted it done within the week and for a heavy price and as much as it was a distraction you couldn't help but think how the design the private buyer seemed to want a floor plan that resembled something that one of your old lovers would have loved. The vintage vibe with a green and gold theme matched Mingi and Yunho perfectly. Your brain almost thought maybe they were the private buyer. But why would they go to you after what you had ‘apparently done’ to them? Before you could dwell on the idea anymore, the sound of your doorbell broke your gaze from the large sketch in front of you.

You question why someone would be visiting you at this hour, given that most of your clients would email you beforehand and your ‘friends’ would text. So, who could possibly be at your door? Your heart thumped strangely as if your body knew who was beyond the large oak before you. A ball started to form at the base of your throat. Was this anxiousness you were feeling? Gripping the silver handle, you creek the door open slowly, and when your gaze met the other person you feel your heart stop.

“Hi…”

You looked at the man with a dumbfounded expression, tilting your head in confusion. Hi? After all these years, hi is what he starts with. What does he take you for? A hopeless woman needing a man to catch her when she falls?

You go to shut the door without a second thought, but he catches it in his strong arms. The same arms that used to hold you. Shield you from all the danger―no stop you didn’t need them when you were completely broken and you most certainly don’t need them now.

“Please let me explain. Honey, I just…” He was scrambling to find his words, his breath catching his throat like he was running a marathon prior to this interaction. “I wanted to see you…tell you.”

“I don’t want to hear it, Jongho.” You finally spoke, silently yelling at yourself for sounding so shaky in your voice when you wanted to be mad, tone-deaf, blunt. But here you are, wanting to cry cause of the anger surging through you. Why must you always cry when you get mad. “You don’t get to come here after almost two fucking years, call me honey and tell me how much you miss me and think I’ll just fall back into your arms as if nothing happened.”

“T-that’s not what I want nor expect from you. I just want―I don’t care what you want. Now get off my porch.” You cut him off, slamming the door in his face before breaking down the minute you heard the latch click. Your legs buckle, sliding down the door before your knees hit the ground, sobbing into your hands. Your heart was breaking all over again, just like the night you left. You wanted nothing more than to run after him, beg him to hold you. But you couldn’t. They hurt you so much. How do you even begin to forgive them for what happened all those years ago?

Through the next months, you kept receiving letters, flowers, and gift boxes. Even teddy bears. Why would they give you teddy bears? You think they would have known you from being with them for so long. Throwing yet another soft plush toy on the ever-growing pile that sat in your office. You were beginning to become sick of it. You thought after you yelled at Jongho, he and the others would have gotten the hint, but you guess being dumped by eight mob bosses wasn’t as easy as you thought.

Sighing, you click your tongue, looking at the stack of letters you have yet to burn. You can’t even be bothered to open them, not wanting to even listen to anything they might have to say. But another part of you was curious. Maybe one letter couldn’t hurt, right? Reaching for the one on the top, your fingers grasp the small paper. It’s rough against your skin. Like the paper was made from a poor-quality tree. Odd? Why would your ex-lovers gift you such cheap gifts? Not that you were expecting high-priced gifts, but they had enough money to buy half the world, so you think them getting something with a heavier price tag wouldn’t matter. Something wasn’t right. Something wasn’t adding up.

But before you could think of anything else, a loud, almost anger-filled knock comes from the front door. Your body was suddenly on high alert. Goosebumps erode all over your skin as a sickening feeling clouds your head. Grabbing your letter opener―just in case―you walk slowly towards the noise. Thoughts ran through your head in time with the beats of your racing heart. You knew walking towards the suspicious noise was a bad idea, but what else could you do? Whoever was there would know you were home by the lights being on or how your car is parked in the driveway. You couldn’t just pretend you weren’t home, no matter how hard you wanted to try.

Your fingers graze the door handle, feeling your breath hitch. You twist it slowly until you hear the creek of the door hinges swing inwards. You brace yourself for whoever it was, but what you are met with confused you. The porch was empty?

No one in sight…

But you certainly heard a loud knock. You were going crazy… were you? You huff, straightening up, feeling relief wash over you. Maybe it was some kids pranking the neighbours again, and you were their target for the day. Who knows. You click the door closed, but you lock it this time because even though you see no threat, you wanted to be sure. Entering your office again you walk over to the letters in order to continue what you were doing but when your eyes gaze over the pieces of paper you notice the one you were going to open wasn’t on the table. Where did you go? You thought, placing the letter opener on the table so you could place your hand on the edge of the oak desk so you could look under it. You looked everywhere and couldn’t seem to find it. It was like it had vanished. But…was that a flash? Something caught your eye.

Looking at the teddy bears, you see the letter sitting in the lap of one of the plushies. Tilting your head you notice a little red flash like as if there was a recor―Your eyes snap open stumbling back slightly before turning to run but your body is met with a very broad object and then before you can get any baring on what or who was in behind of you, everything went black.

It was like the world was spinning, your head pinging with an aching pain from the left side of your skull. You tried to open your eyes and look around, but you quickly figured out you were blindfolded and bound to what seemed to be a chair. Typical. Why is it that whenever someone gets kidnapped, they get tied to an old wooden chair? Why couldn’t it be a couch or one of those soft deck chairs? You could hear some scampering around you, three, maybe four people had entered the room you were in. You can smell their shitty cheap cologne that they most likely think bend women at the knees. You knew what kind of people they were before even seeing them.

“Well well. Looks like my men have caught a pretty mouse of us to play with.” The heavy voice echoed around the room, hinting to you that you were most likely in an open area. A warehouse, maybe? “You are gonna be my ticket to freedom songbird.”

You had to cringe at the pet name that fell from his lips. The name you were known as in the mafia world. More specifically, Ateez’s Songbird. You tried to sit still, hoping to show a fraudulent sense of confidence, but in reality, you were petrified. You no longer had the eight men you loved dearly to save you. Then again, you had no one to save you. Most of your friends lived out of town and wouldn’t even come to the rescue if you begged. You were alone with these men. Blindfolded and at their will. The man you assume was talking before lifted your blindfold off, seeing your eyes suddenly gaze upon the piercing light from the headlamp above you. You can see your suspicions were correct, four men ranging from sizable jock build to more lean ones but in the end, they were all ghastly, staring you down as if you were nothing more than a piece of meat.

“I want to know where Ateez is….” The grunt that escaped from the immoral male smelled of booze and low-quality cigars. His eyes were painted his redness, as if he hadn't slept in days, weeks even. He was boarding insanity at this rate by his expression. “Well come on, I know you know where they are, and to be blunt, I need them dead. You know business and all.” He rambles, walking around your figure while you sit there listening to his utter bullshit. His words remind you of when a villain in the story starts blabbering to the captor about how they needed to defeat the hero in order to take over the world. But in this case, both sides are just as villainous as each other, and the “world” that’s referenced is stocks… weapons, contraband, drugs, money. The list goes on and on.

“Why are you so quiet, Songbird? Protecting your lovers?”

Now that one made you laugh, shaking your head in annoyance. Argh, what you would give to be home with a strong whiskey in hand right now. Your reaction sent a shocked expression to the disgusting man's face. He expected you to plea, beg for him to not hurt Ateez, to not hurt the loves of your life and yet here you sit, laughing right in his face like he had just said the most entertaining thing to you.

“I don’t know where they are.” You finally spoke, a sadistic smile painted your face. To never backed down from his gaze, almost trying to intimidate him with your blazed stare. “Why would I know, or care where they are? They don’t care about me.”

His paced. Fuck. He thought. Did his men really just kidnap you for no reason? He was going to shoot someone for this. He began to sweat, you were his only hope of getting the men he hates, attention. And now you were useless. His hand raked through his hair, coming down to scratch the stubble on his chin. What is he going to do with you now? Looking back at you his eyes slid down your body from head to toe, as if he was a predator sizing up his prey. You felt a sudden uneasiness. Maybe telling the man that held your life in his hand you were useless, wasn’t your greatest idea.

He moved away, whispering to one of his men before he sent him off, turning back to you straight after. He stepped one foot in front of the other in a slow and formed way, as if he had come up with the best plan in history. His devious smile brought a lump in your throat and the way he leaned down in front of you, placing both hands on the chair arms so he was face to face with you. “Well, little dove. We can find other uses for you, hmm?”

An idea popped into your head, and maybe it was your hotheadedness or your sheer stubbornness to do things out of spite. Bringing your body back slacked against the chair frame, you watched as his smirk grew, thinking he had finally managed to scare you, but before he could react, you whipped your head forward. Your forehead smashes against his nose with a sickening crack, and a blood-curtailing scream follows. The man gripped his nose with a sharp hiss. You could see blood pouring down like a waterfall from his nose, spilling all over his clothes and floor. Your blurred vision and ache in your skull doesn’t last long as you shake your head. You can see his men crowding around him to see if he is okay.

“Bitch!” He swore, standing up straight from his crouched position to stomp over to you and slap you clean in your face, making you and the chair fall over, smacking your side against the concrete. You can feel your wrist twist before popping out of place from the impact. Your elbow scraped against the harsh floor along with your arm, making you feel the sensation of your blood escaping through the broken skin. A cut on the top of your head also spilled some blood onto the floor making a headache begin to form. Maybe this wasn’t your best idea.

“Get the kit. I wanna teach this whore a lesson.” He spat out some blood that spilled into his mouth from his nose.

“whore? I thought it was bitch? Or as it little dove?” you need to shut your mouth but you choose to keep pushing his buttons. Idiot. He kicked you square in the gut making you hitch your breath before almost coughing up a lung at the pain. Your watered eyes could now barely see as you tried to blink the tears away. You spot out the corner of your eye a bag of what you could only guess, torture tools. Great, now you really fucked up.

You had passed out at least two or three times, and every time, you were woken up by ice-cold water to the face. The temperature of the water stung your opened wounds and burned at your hot red flesh. Time was absent to you, not knowing how long you’d been sitting, tied to the comfortable chair. God, your limbs were gonna ache once you were able to get out. that’s if you get out.

Maybe you will die here. The irony. Dying in a place of crime in a life of anguish when you so desperately tried to run from it. To try so hard to clean up and forget the darkness that lingered in your past. But in truth, you missed. As sicken as it sounded. You missed the violence, the thrill, the wealth and power. You missed being feared by your enemies and adored by your lovers. Call you sadistic for finding nostalgia in torture, but it was true. Even if you were the one who was currently being hurt, you couldn’t help but smile weakly.

“I found her!!” A muffled voice and sounds of gunshots echoed around you. But you were so dazed you couldn’t seem to pinpoint the noise. Your eyes were fuzzed, and blood tainted your view. Everything was happening so fast until you saw the stillness.

“Y-yuyu?” Your eyes glossed, seeing a blurred figure that resembled Yunho. But it couldn’t be him, could it? You must be dreaming, finally getting ready to leave this plane, but why would your guardian angel look like Yunho?

“I’ve got you, baby. Hold on.” You had already passed out for the final time before you would hear another word slip from your ex-lover's mouth. His rough hands gripped the rope that bounded your hands, cutting it away with his pocket knife. He snaked his arm under your legs and on your lower back, picking you up from the old wooden chair with ease. Your blood had pooled on the floor and now trailed behind Yunho as he jogged with you in his arms. His suit was now tainted red from you, but he couldn’t care less. The only thing on his mind was getting you to safety and maybe killing some assholes along the way.

To say you couldn’t explain the pain surging through your body was correct. You had never experienced such torture before, and man, you were definitely regretting some of the stupid shit you had said to the low-life mob boss earlier. Your vision was still so blurred, and your head was ringing. You could faintly see a bedside with a clock on it. But the face was dark like it was unplugged. You know this place. You remembered the smell of vanilla and pine. You remembered the dark spruce bed frame and emerald forest green bed sheets. You weren’t thinking when you started to snuggle into the bedding, inhaling the comforting scent.

You missed his smell. You missed being in this bed. God, you didn’t realize how much you missed them. You wanted to be strong. You didn’t want them, didn’t want to forgive them. But the comfort…. tears were falling from your cheeks onto the silk pillow. You were sobbing, and your mind was beside itself. One part screaming at you, telling you to suck it up and leave. But on the other side, you were so tired. So, so…tired…. and all you wanted was your boys.

“Sugar…” You froze, hearing the man that belonged to the bedroom. His deep voice, velvet and smooth. You could hear a crack in it like he had been in tears prior. You didn’t move, frozen with fear, because you knew if you looked at him in those beautiful brown eyes, you would be done for. “Baby, are you awake?”

He knew you were, but he didn’t want to approach you without knowing if it was okay. He knew by the way you looked at them last time you saw them that you had feared them. Something he never wanted to see in your beautiful innocent gaze. Torment that he and the others caused. He would never forgive himself, so he understood if you never did either. “I want to go home…”

You didn’t know what else to say. So god damned scared to stay cause if you did, you might not leave. And you couldn’t do that. What they put you through. You couldn’t possibly begin a relationship with them again… right? “Mingi, please take me home…” you felt so small calling for him, you didn’t want to be surrounded by his scent but at the same time, you didn’t so much as budge from the covers. You didn’t want him to be near you, but yet when he sat down on the edge of the bed, your body was screaming to be held by him. Everything was so messed up. Why did it have to end up like this? Why was this your ending with them?

Mingi couldn’t find his wording, his hand coming up to your covered shoulders, putting a firm but gentle touch on it. He wanted nothing more than to hold you, kiss you. Make love to you while repeating how sorry he was over and over while he caused you to come over and over. “I missed you…” His voice cracked. “We all have…” better now than never to explain himself, right? “After the first couple of weeks, we found out that those pictures were faked. A way to manipulate us into crumbling our empire. They thought if they could put us all at each other's throats. I guess they won…”

“How did you find they were fake?” You asked in a whisper, keeping your face covered with the bed sheet.

“Another anonymous tip went off that San was ‘sneaking’ around with some guy. But Wooyoung was quick to debunk it cause San was with him that whole week. So we quickly found out that this was a ploy to rip us all apart… which worked.” Mingi regretted every word he spoke. They managed to find out San was innocent quicker than you. San was lucky he had an alibi, though unlike you, that was away without their knowledge, just trying to buy a gift for your anniversary... god, they were so stupid...

“It...Worked?” You were confused about that since it only caused you to leave. From your knowledge, the boys were all still together? Mingi sighed, standing up, which caused you to peek out from your hiding spot to see him pouring a whiskey from the small bar in the corner of the room. Before downing the amber-coloured liquor.

“Seonghwa and Hongjoong became obsessed with work. They’ve become biter…” He took another shot of the harsh liquor. “Cruel… The number of people they’ve put in the dungeons just from looking in their direction wrong.”

You felt sick, flashes of them yelling at you, cursing you. The image of them with that anger plus a gun. You felt sorry for any of the suckers that were unlucky enough to gaze at them wrong. You tangled your fingers into the soft sheets, playing with the velvet fabric. You note how the hand that had popped out earlier was still slightly swollen and numb, making you barely able to feel the fabric on your right fingertips. “W-What about the others…”

“Jongho spent most of his time looking for you. Spying on you. Seeing all the achievements you have made.” He sounded proud of you for a moment like he sought knowledge of your life from the youngest. “Yeosang drove himself into his computer work, taking on small tasks in the outer parts of the city. If we hadn’t said we brought you home, he would have still been hiding somewhere.” He flicked his hand in the air, scoffing slightly.

“San and Wooyoung changed the most when you left. They became lost without you, distant… different. Like the sunshine was ripped from their life, and darkness consumed them.”

He took a seat at the end of the bed again. You had sat up, crossing your legs, eyeing his figure. He has gotten bigger than the last time you’ve seen him. He’s bulked up, and from what your memory could recall, Yunho was bigger as well. The way his arms felt being around you as he carried you to safety were definitely bulkier. “And what about you? Yunho?”

He huffed, glancing up at you. His hand was so close to your covered legs. So close yet so far. “Yunho and I are…fine. We missed you.”

You knew fine meant they were both struggling just as much as the others. You shifted, moving a little closer to him. Your heart was still aching, but your body was craving to feel some warmth. and at this point, you were so tired. Tired of fighting, tired of running. Tired of anyone telling you who or how to live your life? who cares if you run back to your exes? Who cared if you decided you move back with them? It’s not like you have friends or family that would tell you otherwise. All you had was them. Eight cruel mob bosses who would do anything for you and who were scared when they thought you had betrayed them. “I missed you too.”

His wide, glossy eyes snapped to yours. Like he had just heard someone spill the secret to life itself. His mouth went dry, a lump forming in his throat. He didn’t know what to say. He wanted to spill his guts about how much he missed your smile and missed your laugh. Missed the way you would tease him for being too clingy, but yet you were just as clingy in the next breath. He missed the way your body would melt against his on cold nights, searching for warmth. Or how you would fit so perfectly around his….

“Min…You mind is wondering…” You knew his tells, and you knew he was sinking into his mind.

“I uh…I’m just trying to find the words to say I’m sorry without it sounding like it was an excuse.”

“I believe you’re sorry, mingi. I believe you are all sorry. It doesn’t change or fix what happened. And it’s going to take time for me to trust you all again. But…” You leaned over, placing your hand on his shaking thigh. “I do forgive you.”

He broke.

“We don’t deserve your forgiveness. We don’t deserve you…” Tears were falling down his red cheeks, making you jump to wipe each one away without a second thought. You hadn’t realized how close you were until you noted the smell of the whiskey on his breath and the warmth of his body radiating to yours.

“You might not deserve me. But who is here to tell me to stay away…” he gave you a smile. You didn’t want to forgive him or the others fully per se, but you did want this push-and-pull game. This cruel twisted game of forbidden love.

“The others are going to want to see you…” He spoke cautiously, afraid you might recoil away from him if he spoke too loudly. You just sighed, lowering your hands into your lap once again, sitting back. You could feel your wounds with every movement, but it wasn’t as painful as before. They must have given you some painkillers prior to when you were passed out. You were about to speak when a sudden thud was heard, quickly followed by a bunch of hushed whispers. You couldn’t help but smirk at the childishness, for angry mafia kings they sure know how to act like goofballs.

“They’re outside aren’t they?” You cocked your brow, giving Mingi a simple straight expression. He just rubbed the back of his neck with a small whisper of, ‘Sorry.’

You rolled your eyes, telling him to let them in. Your heart might have been racing faster than a race car, but you tried to hide the growing anxiousness with a plain expression. You were going to hear them all out. You were going to hug San and Wooyoung as they sobbed on the end of your bed with mumblers of ‘I’m sorry.’ over and over again. You were going to give Yeosang a knowing look, so he knew that his silence was accepted and that you weren’t mad. You were going to thank Yunho for saving you, and he was going to kiss your palm as you held his cheek briefly.

And you were going to cry.

Sob at how Hongjoong sat on his knees, grovelling for your forgiveness and pleading how he was so messed up for not believing you. You’d all cry seeing the leader so vulnerable. And Seonghwa. Your darling, hwa… you would see such sorrow in his eyes. But you would let him kiss your cheek, hold you for a moment. Let him have you for a moment while you get your mind into check.

This was not a redemption. This was not forgetting. But a new chance.

Not a new chapter but a new book entirely.

You were going to grow, do your own thing. Be with them while you find yourself. And maybe, just maybe. You’d take Jongho’s offer all those years ago…and finally say yes…

— ♡

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charmandabear · 15 days

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11. Astarion x Reader 👀

We're not going to worry about how long it'll take me to answer these. We're not going to talk about it. Listen, I'm trying so hard to not make these into whole things, I just want to treat them like writing exercises, but I physically can't not finish smut once it's started.

From @astarionfreak's smut ask game ~ other entries

11. "I touched myself last night thinking about you." "I know."

Tags/Warnings: reader isn't gendered but has a vulva, blood/blood drinking, p in v sex, somewhat rough sex (reader gets a little feral in this one)

You're not subtle about it at all.

Every time he catches you staring, you quickly turn your head. At one point you even just shift your eyes, trying to pretend you're looking at something behind him. But there's no way he isn't at least a little suspicious.

Since the night you let Astarion bite you, the tension between the two of you has been palpable. Something about having him pressed down on top of you, his lips on your neck and his hand cradling your neck in a way that was disproportionately gentle set something on fire inside you. You really thought that you could just get over your little crush if you got it out of your system. Sate the need and you could go back to just being friends... Or whatever you are with him.

But it had the opposite effect. Now, his very presence turns you on. The wind catches his scent and you instinctively press your thighs together. He grins after making some sassy remark to Gale, and the glint of his fangs in the light makes your mouth go dry. You even need to suppress a moan when he gets a particularly impressive kill. You really hope no one heard that one.

So now, sitting around the campfire with the rest of your companions, you're just trying desperately to appear normal. You laugh absentmindedly at whatever joke Karlach just made while in your mind, Astarion's railing you up against a tree. It's only when you realize that Wyll has been trying to ask you a question for the past 90 seconds that you know you're too far gone to be in polite company.

"Sorry, I'm just a little out of it, long day," you make the excuse lamely. "I'm going to turn in a little early, I've got a bit of a headache."

"Do you want something for it?" Shadowheart asks with a frown. "I've got some herbal remedies that might help."

"I'm fine, I think I just need some rest." You force a smile onto your face. "'Night, all." You walk back to your tent stiffly, speeding up to cover the last few meters quickly. Your breath wracks through your body and your blood pounds in your ears. You've never - never - gotten this worked up over another person, never mind a man. Honestly, he's not even really your usual type, you'd normally be much more likely to pursue someone like Shadowheart. But she so clearly has a thing for Karlach, and that's not something you'd want to get in the way of.

But this pale, devastatingly handsome vampire elf has your desire in a chokehold.

You light a lantern inside your tent and take out your journal to sketch. You try to conjure some of the imagery you saw today to keep your brain off Astarion. Scratch and the owlbear cub playing. The terrifying harpies that almost lured one of the tiefling children. Astarion's blade dripping with harpy blood while his bright red eyes sparkle with mischief and the thrill of he kill.

Fucking hells.

You eventually put your journal away and lay down on your bedroll, staring at the ceiling of your tent while the others continue to chat and laugh outside. You listen to their conversation die down, their goodnights, and finally the distant sound of crickets and other nighttime fauna. Your eyes start to grow heavy, or at the very least bored of looking at the support rods in your tent.

You only realize that you've drifted to sleep when you're startled awake by a soft tapping on the canvas flap that separates you from the rest of camp.

"Y-yes?" Your voice is shakier than you'd like, although it's not like a vicious creature would politely knock on your makeshift door. The flap lifts up to reveal the literal last person you'd like to see right now.

"Hello, darling," Astarion grins in that irresistible way that he does. "I wanted to check in on our fearless leader. You've seemed dreadfully jumpy all day."

"Oh! Um." You can feel the heat rising in your cheeks. "I'm.. fine. Thank you, Astarion." You nod your head in a gesture of dismissal, but he doesn't move.

"Are you sure? You're positively flushed." His smile suggests he knows more than he's letting on. You chew on your lower lip to distract you from the growing ache between your legs.

"I'm perfectly fine, Astarion, thank you. Good night." You reach to close the tent flap but he holds onto it. Your fingers brush against his and it's like a jolt of lightning passes between your hands.

"I'm not buying it," he hums, dropping his voice. He pushes his way into your tent and you scramble backwards. The last thing you need is for him to touch you - you might not be able to control yourself if he does. "Now tell me, what's had you so hot and bothered all day?"

"N-nothing," you stammer, wishing you could just disappear on the spot. He raises an eyebrow and you backpedal. "Well, fine, I think something Gale cooked isn't sitting quite right with me. I was... embarrassed." The lie rings hollow even to you.

"Come now, love, we both know you're a terrible liar." He crawls towards you on his knees, a predator stalking his prey. Your breath catches in your throat. "Do you have something you need to confess?"

You're trapped. You've run out of room in the tent to back away, and Astarion has all but crawled on top of you. His scent is intoxicating and his eyes gleam in the low light. The words tumble out of your mouth before you can stop them.

"I touched myself last night thinking about you."

"I know." The grin that curls across his face is fiendish. Your heart threatens to beat out of your chest.

"You know?" Then you gasp suddenly. "The tadpole..."

Astarion lets out a bark of a laugh, loud enough that you're worried it might wake your other companions. "Darling, I didn't need a tadpole to figure that one out. Like I said, you're a terrible liar." He nudges his knee closer to the apex of your legs and you can feel your arousal making your underclothes wet. "What I want to know is, how did you picture me? My head between your legs? Did I have you on all fours in the forest? Or..." His lips ghost against yours now and your head feels dizzy with lust. "Or perhaps I had you pinned down in this very tent, taking my time as I had my way with you?"

Your instincts take over and you close the minimal distance between you, pulling him down on top of you as you ravage his lips. You claw at his clothing, no longer interested in maintaining decorum. He tears at the laces of your breeches, pulling them down below your hips and exposing your dripping cunt to the open air. A cry rips through your throat as he licks a thick stripe up your slit, and his chuckle rumbles deep in his chest. He pulls up on his knees and grins down at you, open and wanton, as he slips out of his pants.

"So very eager," he hums as he frees his cock, engorged and already dripping. A shudder runs through you as you see it, and you yank on his shirt and pull him down to meet you. You kiss him roughly, catching his lower lip in your teeth as you hook your leg around his waist.

"Shut the fuck up and fuck me, Astarion," you hiss through gritted teeth, and you groan loudly when he easily sinks in up to his base.

"Someone wants the whole of camp to hear," he growls in your ear as he begins to slowly thrust into you.

"Then you better make it quick so we don't wake them," you snarl in response, all pretenses having vanished. You tangle your fingers into his hair and press his face to your neck. You feel his lips stretch into a smile just before he sinks his fangs into you, the icy shard of pain melting into the heat of his mouth warming with your blood.

You jut your hips up into him, desperately chasing your release as he drinks his fill. He fucks into you, hard and messy, and before long you're feeling the pressure building in your core.

"Gods, Astarion, don't stop," you gasp hungrily in his ear, and he increases his pace to a punishing rhythm. You're starting to grow faint from blood loss just as your orgasm comes crashing down on you. Your walls clench and shudder around his length and he tears his mouth away from your neck, his expression wild and bloody. A few more broken ruts and you can feel him spilling inside you, the feeling his pulsing cock prolonging your own climax.

The two of you eventually still, covered in a sheen of sweat and panting heavily. Your ears strain to hear if there has been any disturbance in camp to indicate that your other companions heard anything. Outside your tent remains, thankfully, silent.

"Well then," Astarion exhales quickly as he slides out of you. "Darling, if it's going to be like that, then you just need to invite me next time."

#smut ask game #astarion x reader #astarion smut #bg3 smut #smutty fanfiction #smutty one shot #bg3 astarion x reader #bg3 astarion fanfic

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tsubaki94 · 2 months

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Seeing that @green-with-envy-phandom-event is starting today I thought I could post some of the lineart I submitted for the event.

Here's the Snowball fight which I had spent a couple of hours composing, it's my only entry from the Disabled AU but was lots of fun to make. I'm looking forward to seeing what it's going to look like colored.

In case you are wondering where the Phantom comic is or when the next page will be out I can only say that I don't know. There are almost six chapters sketched out so there will be more.

However, (and I don't like to talk about personal stuff but feel like you deserves to know why there hasn't been an update.) Frankly, I've had a low period where I haven't been able to create much at all. It's been hard to motivate myself to finish the sketches and make pages for the comic. I am doing it for my enjoyment, so when it feels like a struggle, I take a break and do other things.

Now bad news never comes alone, and my grandpa passed away suddenly last month so I'm now going to help my mom with the funeral that is next week. It's going to take a lot emotionally from me but I am combining it with meeting some great friends while I'm there.

Hopefully I'll get back to drawing the comic with a couple of pages each month. Heck, the Next chapter is 40 pages long and I'm getting excited thinking how they are going to look when I'm finished with them.

Oh well. Now you know.

Hope you are all enjoying Greenwithenvy2024

#danny phantom #art #fanart #danny fenton #sam manson #tucker foley #greenwithenvy2024 #update #irl stuff #lets enjoy this event #disabled au #wheelchair au #wheelchair

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galacticsuperstitions · 2 months

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the minds of a lab at three different points (LONG rambling under the cut)

I am constantly in awe of the analyses people put out about Arknights on this website. I feel like my own interpretations are somewhat lacking as a result, but I was confident enough to post this, at least. I've had this idea for a long time now, I think since Lone Trail released, but I've only been able to make the time for it now.

Rhine Lab has so many fucked up elements and people involved in it that it's actually impressive. They were really gunning for "most unethical scientific consortium" reward. Really, though, it's just the result of Kristen gunning for her parents' wishes. All of the directors want something and all of those somethings are different.

Things I want to mention or just feel proud of (allowing myself this because of how long this took):

-I was originally planning on crossing out Saria's surname to reflect that we still don't know what it is in canon, but I don't know why whoever has this poster would do that, so I just kept it in. Hermon refers to Mount Hermon, which Saria's name apparently derives from. Technically, her name here is the same thing twice. Oh well.

-I don't know who this poster belongs to. It's just in some Rhine Lab tech's personal desk, I guess? Doesn't explain the doodles, though. Maybe they were bored and feeling spiteful about the potential job insecurity of your boss being comatose in space.

-I realized only while making this post that I made Saria's, Muelsyse's, and Jara's doodles reference Kristen, yet Kristen's only references herself and her parents. Completely unintentional, but appropriate nonetheless.

-I am so happy with how the poster came out. It makes up for how hard I had to fight Canva for it to come out like that. Here it is in full if you want to look at it closely for whatever reason. (writing an actual description for this thing was fun!)

-Andenate doesn't actually have a face under the sticky note. That's why he's still Mike Wazowski'd in the poster png. I didn't feel like drawing one since it wouldn't be shown in the finished pieces anyway. His jacket is just the same as Magallan's.

-Ifrit's picture board was a literal last-minute addition. It's why the images are sketches rather than being in the lineless style of the poster. It feels fitting, though, so I'm keeping it that way. Seeing Ifrit all grown up and doing so well in Lone Trail was wonderful. There's something in her being happy and healthy and also surrounded by not just her loved ones and friends from Rhine Lab, but also people outside of it. She's cultivated her life to be as fulfilling as she wants it to be, and while there is still room to grow, she has plenty of support and insight from others for it to do so. I may be misrepresenting her a bit (the sleepiness doesn't help), but man. I love Ifrit. She's so cool.

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d34dxr0ses · 1 year

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|| Everlasting Ink ||

TattooArtist!Boyfriend!Xavier Thorpe x Fem!Reader -- Summary: You've always been Xavier's muse, inspiring and motivating his work, but right now he wants nothing more than for you to be his canvas for his most recent design. Warnings: MDNI/18+/Tattoo artist Xavier AU/Aged Up characters/Spice/Xavier giving reader a sternum tattoo/Kissing/Pet names (Angel;Babe;My love)/Pinch of Possessive!Xavier A/N: This is the first fic I'll be posting here, so I hope you guys like it! (Also this was written at 1am so apologies for any mistakes)^^

It had been 15 minutes since Xavier started looking at you, still cleaning and sterilizing his tattoo gun, and he has yet to look away. You were reading a book you had picked up from the library before you met up with your boyfriend in his art shed, that was hidden in the woods on Nevermore's campus. Though you were deeply invested in your book, you couldn't shake the feeling of his gaze, so you glanced up to meet his adoring eyes.

"What?" You laughed out, inspecting his face. He looked like a kid who was scared to ask his mom for some candy, but his eyes were much wider (lost in thought, clearly), and his cheeks slightly more red.

"I uh.." He cleared his throat and looked down at the cloth and tool in his hands, that he had been thoroughly wiping every inch for the past several minutes; before continuing "My love, and you can absolutely say no, but well- I finished a design that I've been working on, and I was hoping to tattoo it on you?" He placed his tattoo gun on the desk before quickly rummaging through all his papers before finding his sketch book.

You stood up from where you sat and approached his chair, wrapping your arms around his shoulders from behind as you stared at the drawing he flipped open too. You already knew you would probably have let him the moment he asked in such a sweet tone, but you were stunned by the piece. It was a fairly larger sternum tattoo, that would wrap around your chest and peak in between your boobs. The drawing had such intricate details, and little parts that made it appear that he had designed it just for you. Even the chest model he had drawn matched yours damn near perfectly.

"Xavier.. That's beautiful, I'd be honored to be you canvas." You said the last part in a fake, more proper sounding accent. His eyes lit up and his head snapped back so he was facing you. You could've swore that if he had a tail it would be wagging.

"Wait seriously? Like now? Can we do it now?" You could only imagine how long a piece like this would take, and it was already pretty late, but you had enough caffeinated drinks that you really didn't care, with the look he had stuck on his face you'd probably let him cover every inch of your body in his drawings, hiding your skin away in the ink.

That's where you sat now. Lying on your back, topless and staring at the drawing of your tattoo in his book. Your page. Sure, he had a lot of drawings of you, but this was different. It wasn't your face, your body, your hair. No, this was you. This was something that clearly showed that he took a great look into who you really were. Each line told its own story; then you noticed it, scattered throughout it was letters, unnoticeable unless you were specifically looking for it, letters that spelt out his name. A grin climbed onto your face, as closed the book, setting it on the desk closest to you. You looked down at the boy with long brown hair, who's bangs had now been tied back.

"Your name huh? Claiming me now?" Blood now rushed back to his face. It was a part of the design he had completely forgotten about. A part that he sketched out while thinking about you with his name stained onto your body, showing that you were truly his, and his alone.

"I forgot about that, babe I promise I wouldn't try to tattoo my name on you without perm-" but you cut him off. He was almost frantic, which was cute, but always led to him rambling on nervously for at least 10 minutes.

"I like it, its not like its in bold, neon ink, keep it. Please?" You added the please with a small whine for good measure, to make sure he wouldn't feel bad about it. He just nodded and started prepping you for the stencil.

This was your first tattoo, so you weren't exactly prepared for the cold liquid to be sprayed on your body, but when it was you couldn't help but flinch, which made your usually gentle boyfriend, push down slightly on your chest.

"Angel, I know you've never had this done, but for this I'm gonna need you to stay perfectly still once I get the gun out." His voice was stern and dry, a huge change in pace from the timid boy from a moment ago, but not an unwelcome one. You found it quite attractive the way he could switch back and forth like that. You just nodded, and went back to admiring him at work.

It had been several hours since he started the tattoo, it was decently painful, but at the same time felt really nice. You had finally adjusted to the way he was doing it, when he suddenly lifted the tool and stood up, readjusting himself. You thought he was just stretching after sitting uninterrupted for so long, but instead he moved onto the table where yo were, positioning his knees on either side of your hips, squeezing you gently to keep you in place. How flustered you were must've been clearly shown on your face because, still keeping the machine away from you, he leaned down and kissed you, you could feel his smirk in the kiss. He was loving this. You'd been watching him the entire time, not his work, but his face and body movement, and he knew it. He himself had a hard time keeping his eyes on his art. Your breasts were completely exposed to him, and he loved knowing that he was the only one allowed to see you like this.

He finally broke the kiss, giving you a moment to fix your breathing, and stop moving before returning to the tattoo.

It was nearing sunrise when the tattoo was done and yet you both still felt wide awake. He hadn't moved from his spot straddling your waist since he got there, ,but he did have to pin down your shoulder every so often when it tried to move on it's own. He was surprised that you didn't ask him to stop for a break at all. You were in a trance like state watching his every movement, but at the very least it kept you still. He brought his phone out and took a photo of "the tattoo" He told you, but you knew exactly why he was so precise with his angles.

#xavier thrope imagine #xavier thorpe #xavier x y/n #xavier x you #xavier thorpe x you #xavier thorpe wednesday #wednesday fanfiction #xavier thorpe AU #xavier thorpe x reader #xavier x reader #percy hynes white #wednesday characters x reader #wednesday netflix #xavier thorpe x fem!reader #percy hynes white x reader #minors dni

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zarla-s · 3 months

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Do you get anxious whenever you start drawing comic pages? Is that connected to ending of Handplates? It's like you're trying to find any random activity to avoid drawing comics. And your usual sketches get less and less dialogue. I'm asking because I'm worried and I don't know what's happening. D:

Hmm... I haven't really thought of things in these terms? I was like "eh that can't be right" but then I did a quick look back and it does look like I've been doing solo shots or single/two panel comics for a while, haha. I've just got a lot of small ideas or images I wanted to get out recently. And I've been writing a lot of fic! Which I haven't done in a while, which is nice. Writing a fic (particularly lengthy ones, like the Hell jailbreak or the hanahaki one) is a lot more time consuming than people might think. I started the hanahaki one in early December and only just posted it a few days ago...

I was doing Handplates for such a long time, like seven+ years and all, that I'm assuming the vast majority of you out there never really knew me when I wasn't doing it. The thing is that Handplates is a massive outlier - I never did any project of that scale before, or one that updated that consistently or took that much constant effort. Never! Most of the time before when I'd start a big project I'd get distracted and never finish it, or there'd be huge hiatuses between updates (Vargas). It was super weird to have such a big project I so consistently updated and worked on. It's not common for me! I'm amazed looking back on it all that I was so committed to it when so many other ones fell flat.

Handplates took up a LOT of my time, so with it over I've been doing some other things I wouldn't have had much time for before. Playing some games, taking screencaps, writing fic, web design, little small experiments like all my pixel stuff. Just trying out different things! I don't think I'd say I was anxious about doing a comic page... it's more so that I'm just tired, I think. I was doing these huge elaborate pages that'd take days to finish for so long - now that I don't have to do it anymore, my brain just wants to relax, haha.

The reason for the slow updates on Defrag is really that I keep getting stuck lol. It's not really focused like Handplates and I still don't really know how it'll end. I keep getting stuck on what should happen next, so I keep putting it off. It's just me being a lazy writer rather than having anxiety about doing a page. |D

At least, I think that's what it is...

#asks and answers #morning8magpie #to be fair i kept getting distracted while doing the hanahaki one #case in point #been hard to focus lately!

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justarandompersononthehellsite · 25 days

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So... @muffinlance wrote a really awesome story. I read a post from a point in time, though I truly do not remember when since it seems like I've been working on this project forever, saying that she gives blanket permission for people to print and bind the story into a book (I think there was an also addendum saying that they do not give permission to be sold, since selling fic is illegal). This fic has had total control over my whole brain since it was sent to me (@creatorofthemind I believe it was you, so thank you forever for tuning me into it) back during the days of like chapter six or seven.

So here I am now, sharing this amazing journey of my first ever bookbinding adventure. Further reading below.

So to give you an idea of what's going on, this is a fanfiction about Zuko (Avatar the Last Airbender) (animated show version, the LA show did not exist yet and we do not speak of the movie) being adopted by Hakoda, Father of Katara and Zuko. (This might have also been what kicked off the Give Zuko A Parent craze, but don't fact check me.)

Overall, the characters from the show stick very well to the cannon versions, but where MuffinLance really shines is in the rich backstories and fleshed out feeling of all the non cannon elements. Especially the background characters. I would argue that the writing in this peice of fanwork could easily rival the cannon show at many points of comparison.

Now that you have context, we can get into the actual process.

To start, I used this guide to figure out where to even begin, and fount the included resource list to also be quite helpful. I cannot for the LIFE OF ME figure out where I found the template I used for the front matter and such, but it must be somewhere and I will link to it when I inevitably come across it again.

Then I began to typeset. This step took... a long time. I worked in chunks from about September of 2022 to late March of 2024. I would get a big section done, sometimes even the entire thing, but then find I hated the way I had done it and give up for months at a time. Such is the life of ADHD and flitting interest in projects I suppose.

And then finally, step one was done, and I was left with pages on a word document that look like this. (And do please let me know if you want the link to the document. It was so much work, and I would love to not be the only one to use it.)

Next step was printing out this beast. Ended up being about eight pages of front matter, and about 630 pages of body text.

That I printed wrong.

Twice.

Before finally getting it right. And then not getting a picture of it, because I finished at 4 am and had work at 7, and am also an idiot.

Then I simply stitched along, putting everything together into a beautiful text block.

And came up with a design for the cover.

Yes the glue did end up lumpy. Ignore it.

Yes I did have to sketch out the design onto a scraped page several times before I figured out what I was doing. Ignore that too.

The cover design does wrap around the entire cover. No I did not get a picture before I glued the thing down. See again: I'm an idiot. And just... massively impatient.

Finally, we get to the stage of gluing. Behold, my bookpress.

Of course, topped with Madam MuffinLances own actual professional-people book, Fox's Tounge and Kirin's Bone. It is Excelent. Here is the LINK so you can go and support this amazing author with the real-monies as well as the internet-kudos.

Then, once everything is glued together, one must give the book its "gilt" edges.

#atla #salvage #bookbinding #fanbinding #muffinlance #I'm a really big fan of this story and the characters ok?#They're really fun and I love them.

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thatasadbitch · 1 year

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𖧷 𝒪𝓁ℴ'ℰ𝓎𝓀𝓉𝒶𝓃 𖧷

𝒩ℯ𝓉ℯ𝓎𝒶𝓂 𝓍 𝒻ℯ𝓂!𝒩𝒶'𝓋𝒾!𝓇ℯ𝒶𝒹ℯ𝓇

𝒲𝒶𝓇𝓃𝒾𝓃𝑔: this is +18, it contains unprotected sex, breeding kink and fingering. if you don't like it generally just don't read it. the characters are both in their 20s.

𝓌ℴ𝓇𝒹𝒸ℴ𝓊𝓃𝓉: 1.5k

𝓇ℯ𝓆𝓊ℯ𝓈𝓉: hiiii , So this is my first time requesting anything so , Idk really what to say 😭 but um can you please write a smut with either neteyam or tsu’tey with breeding kinks 😭 Like they are olo’eyktan trying to make a like an heir , pretty please 🫶🏻

𖧷𖧷𖧷

Neteyam and I had already been partners for some time, when he was proclaimed olo'eyktan and thus head of the omatikaya clan.

After all he was the eldest son of the previous clan chief Jake Sully, the toruk Makto had had to leave the clan some time ago due to various problems with the Sky People and Neteyam being that he does not have five fingers like his three brothers, he would in no way case conspicuous and thus remained to protect his clan as an excellent Olo'eyktan.

But this has now happened months ago, things had relaxed over time and even if not completely, every so often there were expeditions to annihilate some half-human who had gone too far into the forest, but other than that, everything had reconciled back to a sort of normality.

On the other hand, Neteyam is perfect for the role that has been assigned to him and everyone is convinced of it, the only thing that makes someone whisper is still the lack of a son, an heir to whom the position of clan chief would pass.

In reality this doesn't bother us that much the fact of not having had children yet is a decision shared by both perhaps still too young to really think about it, and among other things, as warriors which we both are and things happened not like this a long time ago it was definitely not the best time for me to get pregnant.

But now things had calmed down and inside Neteyam's head, this thought couldn't stop haunting him relentlessly, only the image of his partner carrying his child made him wince with excitement, a kind of excitement that it clouded his mind and made him hard as a rock and that he probably wouldn't be able to suppress those instincts much longer.

I was hunting, my ears were focused on the sounds of the forest and especially on the movements of my prey.

Until another type of noise makes my ears spin, and makes my prey run away, i hiss in frustration and turn around to find my partner watching me from not too far away "how loud are you, you missed dinner?" I say looking at his proud smile "I've been here for a while actually, I had to ask you something, but looking at you was definitely better" I blush and slapped his arm lightly "What did you have to ask me?" I ask looking at his eyes become suddenly more serious and I hear him sigh "I wanted you to give me an opinion on my plan of attack, what I thought I'd do in a week or so" I nod and together we head towards the tree house, more precisely to our hut where Neteyam keeps his ' notes ' for battles etc... I take the map in my hand and start reading the sketched notes on the paper.

The thing I don't know is that while I'm blabbering about some changes Neteyam looks at my figure not hearing what I'm saying at all, the only thing he thinks about again is wanting to cum inside me so many times as to fill my limbs and especially to fill my belly with his puppies.

His eyes are misty with a dark mist as he watches my hips move along with my ass occasionally as I speak, waist narrow and back perfectly arched on the table "you know maybe you should put some more warriors on the Ikran-" is the only sentence that he feels the slightest and that I don't even finish because I feel his big warm and tight hands on my hips with his pelvis against my perfect ass to make his hard cock feel against me.

I initially jump in surprise but it doesn't take long for a smug smile to form on my face.

I feel him move my hair to the side and lower on my body, attaching his chest to my back and his lips to the most sensitive points of my neck licking, biting and sucking them, in response I inadvertently start to move my hips against him, which he hisses biting the soft skin of my neck with more ardor and making me gasp in his arms.

His hand runs up my thighs and then reaches my butt squeezing it gently, but his hand continues to flow, pretending it doesn't reach my intimacy, already dripping for him.

He caresses it a little teasing me by touching the clitoris without ever really applying pressure "Neteyam..." my voice is needy "what's up baby... what do you want?" he asks whispering hoarsely into my ear only making me more aroused and more obviously rubbing against him.

"I want you" I see him take his braid and connect it with mine making my pulse increase for the idyllic sensation "where do you want me baby?...talk and I can give you what you want" his fingers definitively remove my thong before making room between my wet walls, making me moan copiously between his hands, his fingers touch the spongy and most sensitive points inside me and rub my clitoris, and making me water slightly with pleasure "Neteyam…inside me…I want you inside me” at my gasping and disconnected words I feel his heart racing and a rush of excitement disperse throughout my body.

He turns me around making me sit on the table finding the imminent need to kiss me roughly and passionately, bringing my pelvis closer to him as he takes off his thong.

Finally showing me his rock hard cock at my entrance, so horny that I already have some pre-cum coming out of the tip of him wetting him.

He looks into my eyes as if asking for the permission he already has, and as he thrusts himself all the way into me two moans come out of both of our lips, he holds my hips as my legs are locked around his waist.

He rests his forehead against mine, thrusting hard into me relentlessly.

Letting a few noises of pleasure escape my lips and his growls and husky sighs kissing my ears.

One thought kept nagging Neteyam making him frown, he wants to come inside me fill me with his cum and his sons, his eyes were again foggy like his mind but those thoughts make his cock jerk inside me making me moan stronger and stronger, another thing that turns him on more and more, making him empty his mind to the point of not worrying about anything but getting me pregnant tonight, for the world to come he wants to see me full of him and his children tonight.

A loud moan escapes his lips and his hands move up my legs to move them over his shoulders and reach all the way down, letting his cock kiss my cervix and my G-spot so many times it makes me cry again for the frustrating pressure building in my lower belly more and more from my imminent orgasm that will soon overwhelm me “you have to come with me baby ok? " my walls are already starting to squeeze against him " are you doing it? For me” I nod slightly and he gives me soft “Atta Girl” praise.

When his thrusts get stronger and more frantic, I understand that he too wants to come, but this time he doesn't pull himself out of me, he pushes inside me harder and harder.

And without warning we both come, he cums inside me profusely it seems to never end, my walls squeezing him inside me making him moan loudly and making me enjoy such a beautiful sound.

Soon his forehead is back on mine and our gasping breaths mix, letting his lips kiss me softly, feeling his hand reach my lower belly swollen with his cum.

A small smile forms on his lips, a mischievous and sly smile "What are you laughing at" I ask letting my legs fall from his shoulders and stopping them at his waist "I'm just happy" he says kissing me other times letting out a few purrs that they make my chest tremble, I caress his cheeks looking into his eyes letting one cheek rest on my hand to let himself be caressed “nga yawne lu oer” (I love you) I say letting a small smile escape his tired face “nga yawne lu oer, more than everything else in the world” he continues positioning himself next to me starting to prepare the post-sex cures and making sure that I don't lose any drop of his semen.

He places me on our bed, and lies down next to me laying me down on his chest letting his purr, his quiet breathing and his heartbeat lull me into a peaceful sleep.

His hands playing with my hair and sleep making its way towards me "rest baby" he kisses my temple making me purr, but I don't let him get away and I finally fall asleep in his arms .

#avatar #avatar x oc #avatar x reader #na’vi oc #na’vi x reader #neteyam #neteyam x reader #request #neteyam x oc #neteyam smut #neteyam x omaticaya!reader #neteyam sully #neteyam x y/n #neteyam x you #smut

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minamorsart · 4 months

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A belated 🌟You Are My Cosmos🌟 piece!!! This is from an old sketch I made last year and finally decided to finish up this year, and it was very relaxing to work on!! 🥰

Tiny YAMC announcement under the cut:

In regards to the comic, while I still care about the story and have had the ending planned out for a long time now, unfortunately I am not sure if or when I will be continuing the series. There have been so many other projects and ideas that I've grown more passionate about this last year, and I want to be able to pursue the things that I know I can put my all into and be proud of when I look back on them.

That being said, I do sincerely appreciate all of the continuous support and encouragement of my artwork, whether it be Star Wars or Voltron or anything else. I hope to continue to provide artwork that not only you will enjoy, but that I can enjoy as well, and I look forward to keep on drawing and improving this year! Thank you so much for sticking around and for your kindness, from the bottom of my heart!!! 😖🙏💖💖💖

Pose reference here!

#you are my cosmos #minamorsart #reylo #rey #ben solo #kylo ren #star wars #sw #star wars art #sw art #my art #fan art #digital art

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taylor-titmouse · 2 months

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Julia is sick of working late. She's sick of being disrespected, and most of all she's sick of her boss. Lance is a burned out, smooth-talking playboy, but he also happens to be the son of the CEO. When Lance pushes her buttons once too often, Julia is tempted to put him in his place – but is it worth throwing away her career for a moment of satisfaction? Content: -F/M -dom -degradation -small penis humiliation -directed masturbation -power play 5k words, EPUB and PDF format Only $3, Releases later tonight! you can go read the first two pages on the shop page!

i've mentioned a couple times now that my editor and the author of roger crenshaw: the dogs at duskfall @mortalityplays is now available for freelance work for people other than me, but i don't think i've made as big of a deal how he's ALSO going to start releasing his own smut shorts on the last friday of every month! he is SUCH a talented writer on top of being an excellent editor and it's my absolute delight to work with him on the cover for his first release. FINALLY i have a great answer when asked "is there anyone else writing smut like you?"

and since this was the first time in a while i went through a cover design process that wasn't just me making one for myself, i thought i would go into how it went!

The Prompt

R/L wanted something that didn't visually describe the characters, because he had deliberately avoided that himself in the text. these characters are archetypes, ideas of characters: a woman who works in an office and her playboy burnout boss. for an erotic fantasy scenario, not going into detail can be ideal, as it allows the reader to project their own fantasies onto the characters. but what does that mean for a cover, when showing off the characters is often the point?

The Thumbnails

it means silhouettes, babie! if you're a reader of romance you've probably seen this approach a few times. silhouettes allow you to give the impression of a character without actually specifying them. HOWEVER! that can only go so far. note the female silhouettes in the left and right thumbnails--one with a pony tail, one with her hair down. these two very minor design elements say completely different things about the character, and pin her design down into something specific. (there is a whole line of feminist thought about this, that there is no such thing as an "unmarked" woman, or rather a woman whose presentation does not say something about her, ie a woman not wearing makeup is not perceived as neutral the way a man not wearing makeup is).

so anyway including her in the cover in full doesn't work for the prompt, because how she wears her hair or how she dresses would say something about her that we don't want to say. thus: we chose the middle design!

a man in a shirt and tie are super archetypal, and """neutral""" enough to not say anything specific about lance, our male protagonist, other than he has a job and is of average size (which are of course not technically truly neutral, but for our purposes, are functional as symbols). and while a long, narrow, leg does still say something about julia, it is abstracted enough to simply represent the concept of "woman" without projecting an overall image of her in the reader's head. she has a leg, and she wears high heels. that's all you get!

The Sketch

now we can move on to the sketch stage! this is the point at which the palette and text are figured out. i tried a few fonts before landing on one that had the retro paperback all-caps feel that i liked, and i used what i believe to have been a risograph print texture from retrosupply.

we went with the text up top rather than at the bottom, because it lends weight to the shoe and balances out the blacks in the pants. it also allows the figure to take up more of the cover, which is ideal. honestly, not a whole lot to say about this bit that i didn't cover in thumbnails: which is the point of doing thumbnails in the first place!

The Finish

well you can just scroll up to see that one. the final colors ended up a little less saturated, a little cooler, to bring it home to the retro paperback look i was going for and tie the colors together. i'm very pleased with it and had a lot of fun. cover design is one of my favorite parts of putting out books, and it was especially fun working with someone else to bring their vision to life.

anyway, you should go buy this book! it's only three dollars and i want to make more covers for these! your purchases would prove that i am a very good investment as a cover artist >:)

#tt art #tt talks drawing #cover design

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heartateasee · 3 months

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“Four”

Word Count: 10k

(Part four of ‘Goodnight and Go’)

⋆★★⋆

*One month until the wedding*

My phone vibrates as I sit at my desk at home - working on a couple of sketches I needed to complete for some upcoming clients. I finished my apprenticeship at the shop about four months ago, and my books had been filling up more and more. It felt nice to finally be working on my own when it came to something I had been striving towards for such a long time.

I set my pencil down as I grab my phone, and I see the notification is for a text from Harry. Sucking in a deep breath, I stare at the screen - trying to decide whether or not I wanted to read what he had to say right now.

He's been trying to get me to come out for his bachelor party tomorrow, and I've been avoiding giving him a direct answer. It's not that I didn't want to go - I just didn't know if it would be in our best interests for me to do so.

These past few months had been tense between not only Gwen and I, but also between me and my mother. I was still involved in planning the wedding, but Gwen had stopped letting me hang around her place any longer than I needed to if she, Harry and I were all together. Once whatever wedding thing we were working on was finished, she made it obvious that she was ready for me to leave. I obeyed every single time - not really wanting to stick around anyway.

My mother and I were hardly on speaking terms. If she was around for any of the wedding planning, she acted like I was invisible for the most part. All of her attention was on Gwen, regardless if I was contributing my opinion to the situation or not. It was obvious she didn't care about what I had to say or suggest, and she was only going to hear Gwen out.

I was more than shocked when Gwen said that I could invite a plus one to the wedding considering Harry had invited Kieran as a separate guest now, and Kieran would be bringing her girlfriend.

For the sake of comfort, I had ended up asking Alfie to join me. I remember the night I told Gwen that I had invited him. We were working on table charts at Harry's apartment, and she seemed overjoyed that I had asked someone to come with me. It wasn't until she had stepped out of the kitchen to use the restroom that I finally met Harry's eyes after breaking the news, and he had a stern look on his face. We didn't talk about it, and we still haven't talked about it. I hope to keep it that way.

Some higher power above must have been looking out for me in terms of Gwen's bachelorette party. She was traveling to Vegas with all the bridesmaids and, of course, I was supposed to be included in all of that. An opportunity arose at the shop where they were needing volunteers for an upcoming tattoo convention in the area, and I immediately jumped in to help out. It was the same weekend as her bachelorette, and I lied. I told Gwen that I had already signed up previously before her engagement, and that there wasn't any way for me to back out because they wouldn't be able to get help last minute. I told her that it had slipped my mind until three weeks before the trip.

I expected her to be angry - to curse me out and tell me how ungrateful I was that she would even include me, and then I'd just deny her.

But she didn't.

Gwen didn't even care that I wasn't able to go, and I can't tell you how much of a relief it was to know that I wasn't going to get a mouthful from her regarding it. I knew overall she'd probably have a better time without me there anyway, but I still expected her to have something snarky to say.

During her trip away, Harry had asked if I wanted to come over to help him put together some ideas on gifts to get his groomsmen, but I declined. The last thing I needed was my mother to find out that I had gone over there when Gwen was out of town. I would've never heard the end of that.

Harry had tried to talk to me about what happened at the engagement party on a few separate occasions, but I dismissed his invitation to do so every time. I just told him that we both had alcohol in our system, and that I didn't know what I was saying when it came to separating ourselves from each other. Even though I said I didn't mean it, I know he could still feel that I was gradually doing it. It sucked because now I was the one to sporadically text him when he used to be the one doing that to me.

But it was necessary - for both of us.

Deciding not to put it off any longer, I lick over my bottom lip as I click on the notification to open up our message thread.

From: Harry 8:47 pm Hey, are you busy? I wanted to talk to you about the party tomorrow. I know you haven't given me an answer, but I'd really just like to go over the details with you.

I read over the words a couple of times to get them to register - chewing subconsciously on the inside of my cheek while doing so. Almost every part of me wanted to go, to be there for him, but something inside of me was telling me it would be a mistake to go. I had the fear of Gwen overreacting about it, or my mom using it to justify her claim of me playing some 'game' with my sister and her relationship.

Then there was the part of my brain that kept nagging me, reminding me that this could really be one of the last times Harry and I get together - just the two of us. The wedding was in a month, and after that, I knew that I would probably hardly see Gwen and Harry both.

I push myself up from my desk and head over to my couch. I lay myself down on it, staring up at the ceiling as I contemplate whether or not to call Harry, but I know that ultimately I need to.

"Here goes nothing," I whisper to myself as I press the call button next to his contact, bringing the phone up to my ear.

My fingers play with the hem of the cropped tank top I have on, my legs sprawled out across the cushions of my couch in my cotton pajama shorts. The phone rings a few times before I hear it click.

"Hey."

I close my eyes at the sound of his voice - a bolt of electricity shooting straight to my heart. My stomach stirs due to the giddiness I'm feeling just by talking to him.

My body's reaction to his just his voice was enough evidence to tell me no matter how much I tried to distance myself from him, my feelings would still remain.

"Hey you," I say back, tucking my bottom lip between my teeth.

"I'm not bothering you at work or anything, right?"

My lips turn up into a soft smile as I shake my head - even though I know he can't see me. "No, I'm just at home. Laying on the couch now, but I was working on some sketches before I called."

"Oh yeah?" I can hear the excitement in his voice, and it causes me to smile even wider. "That's fucking awesome, Carter. The shop's been treating you well since you finished your apprenticeship?"

It stung a bit to know that we hadn't really discussed that accomplishment together, but we've just never had the time to do so. My father was the only one that really talked to me about it, and even though he was hesitant about the whole tattoo thing in the beginning, I could tell that he was over the moon that I had actually completed that goal for myself.

"Really well, actually," I tell him honestly. "I've had a lot of clients come through. Some of them have even booked me on the spot for another tattoo after they see the work I can do. I'm working on two pretty decent sized pieces right now. One is a thigh piece for this girl, and the other is a quarter sleeve for this older guy. He's fucking badass, dude. The piece is for his grandchildren."

I almost hold back from saying what I say next, but I also can't help but let it slip out. "He reminds me a bit of you, actually. His one arm is completely tatted, but the arm I'm tattooing is pretty much blank except for a few here and there. He said he was keeping it clear for sentimental ones."

"Damn, no way," he laughs into the phone, and I can tell that he's smiling just as wide as I am. "Well, if he reminded you of me, how do I look as a grandfather? Tell me the truth."

I burst out laughing, tossing my head back a bit on the pillow it was resting on. "Harry, he doesn't look like you or anything!"

"Sorry, I just had to ask, you know? I hope I'm sexy when my hair is all silver and shit."

"If you have any hair left at that age," I tease with a smirk - knowing that Harry has freaked out in the past several times about going bald at some point.

"I know you didn't just say that," as angry as he tries to sound, his tone is still playful. "You better take that back right now."

I giggle softly. "Or what?"

"Then I revoke the invitation to my party," he responds, and I can see the smug look he'd be wearing on his face right now if I were to be with him.

"The party that I haven't even said 'yes' to, by the way, so your threat is a little low on the scale there."

There's a beat of silence, and I can feel that the conversation is about to shift. I close my eyes - bracing myself for what he could say next.

"Do you really not want to come? I won't make you feel bad or anything if you don't want to. I just...I don't know. I've just always pictured you being there for it since I started planning it," his voice shows vulnerability, and it initiates a tug to my heartstrings.

"It's not that I don't want to, Harry. I just don't know if it's the best idea with how things have been," I sigh, starting to pull on a stray string on my shorts.

I knew that I didn't need to elaborate on what I meant any further. He knew exactly what I was talking about.

"I've already talked to Gwen about it, and I'm not going to lie, she did try to fight me on a little bit. I let it rest for a while before I brought it up again, but I explained myself further the second time, and then she understood. She's okay with you going."

I let silence take over again for a moment as I process his words.

"I just know that we can get a little wild together," I start, closing my eyes as I drape my forearm over them. "I just don't want her to get upset if we get too drunk or something."

"It's my bachelor party, Carter. I think she expects for me to get a little wild," he chuckles. "Within reason, of course."

I'm quiet for a little longer before I speak again. "I just don't want to cause more issues than I already have."

I was never told about what happened between Gwen and Harry after I left their engagement party, and I didn't care to know. I'm sure that he got yelled at. Him being belittled or talked down to was something that I didn't wish to hear about. Harry didn't deserve that. The only person that had tried to talk to me further about everything that happened that night other than Harry was my father. He said that he wanted to hear what I had to say because he knew that my mom was probably exaggerating what she had seen.

For the first time, I opened up to my father about my feelings towards Harry. He had been none the wiser when it came to how I felt towards my best friend. I was surprised that my mother hadn't told him about what she had suspected, but he said that she had never uttered a word about it. Just like Kieran, he actually encouraged me to speak up, and as much as that warmed my heart that he now understood me, it also made me feel guilty. Guilty because now I wasn't just coming between Harry and Gwen, I was also coming between my parents.

One parent furious that I could ever feel such a way, and the other trying to steer me towards pure honesty with the one person who needed to hear my feelings the most.

"I understand where you're coming from, please know that I do, but...I know I've said it before-"

"But who knows when we'll find the time to do these things once you're married?" I ask, dropping my arm back down away from my eyes to rest my hand on my stomach. "Yeah, you may have said that to me once or twice."

I hear Harry sigh through the phone, and I curl my fingers into a fist - knuckles brushing against my skin. Never in my life have I ever been anxious around him like I have been these past few months. It was an odd feeling. I just never knew what he would say next, and I think it's because most of what we talked about had to deal with a lot of outside forces. Our friendship was now being slightly controlled by those around us.

"Yeah," Harry breathes.

My heart is slightly rattling against my chest now, and I don't even know how to respond. I want to ask why it's so important for us to spend so much time together before he's married, but I know that his answer won't match why it's so important to me.

That causes me to swallow the question down.

I try to steer the conversation away from Gwen and my mother being why I'm so hesitant so that it can grow a bit lighter. "Your groomsmen won't think it's weird that you've asked a girl to come along?"

I knew most of Harry's friends, a couple of his groomsmen were guys we had gone to college with, but a couple were also from back home in Holmes Chapel. Those were the guys I had never met before. Harry always talked about taking me there, but we never got around to it after finishing college. I had only met his parents before because they came here to visit him.

"Well, you know that Lance and Gavin will be more than happy to see you. I told them I was trying to get you to come, and they were hoping I could convince you," he huffs a laugh before continuing. "Ross and Shane are aware of who you are, and they don't think it's strange if you're there. They know how close we are - how much you mean to me."

Harry has said that last phrase so many times in our friendship, and it never ceases to cause my whole body to tingle. I know him saying that means something completely different than when I say it to him. It serves as a permanent reminder that I have to take his words for what they are - not what I want them to be.

"You don't have to stay the whole time. Even if you just come for a couple of drinks, I'll be happy. I'm actually keeping it really low-key. We're going to one of the bars that's not too far from you, I think? It's called Chemistry."

I knew of the bar he was speaking of, and he was right, it was only a couple of blocks down from my apartment.

"Yeah, that's just a little ways down from me," I run my fingers through my hair. Swallowing down my doubts, I conjure up all the courage to power through. "I'll meet you there. What time?"

"Wait, really?!" The octave of Harry's voice changes drastically, and I can tell he's both excited and shocked that I've agreed.

"Really," I laugh, still pushing my nervousness down. "Just tell me what time, H, and I'll be there."

"We're planning to meet around ten. Does that work for you?"

"That's perfect. I get off at eight tomorrow, so that gives me plenty of time to come home and freshen up before going back out."

"Fuck, okay," he laughs, and I can tell he's more than excited. "I'm so happy you agreed. You know I'd never make you feel guilty for not coming, but I just really wanted you to be there."

"I'll be more than happy to be there," I say, twirling a piece of hair around my finger. "Always want to be there for you."

"Same with you," Harry croons. "I've got to get to bed, but I'll see you tomorrow night, yeah?"

"Yeah, I'll see you then, Harry."

"Goodnight, Carter."

"Goodnight."

We disconnect the call, and I rest my phone on my sternum as I stare up at the ceiling again. I'm glad that I found it in myself to finally agree to go to his party, however, I'm just hoping that it's everything he wants. I would hate for Gwen to completely change her tune come tomorrow, and go off on Harry for having me there. I'd feel so guilty.

I push myself off the couch to head back over to my desk, and I hesitantly pull out one of the sketches I've been working on here and there lately. My fingertips brush over the paper as I stare down at the design, and I pick up my pencil to continue adding to it.

It was the heart that Harry had said he wanted after the wedding was over. The anatomical heart.

I haven't told him that I was working on this. I was hoping that I could surprise him with it once their honeymoon was over, and have it be part of a secret wedding gift.

After a couple more hours, I had put Harry's sketch away for later, and I finished up on the two that I had been working on for my clients. I store them away properly to take back to the shop tomorrow, and I head to bed - willing away the anxiousness as to what tomorrow could bring.

⋆★★⋆

I've probably changed my outfit at least ten times now, but I think I finally decided on the one I was going to wear tonight.

Standing in front of my full length mirror, I nibble on my thumbnail as I take in my appearance. I've settled on an off the shoulder flowy white top with bell sleeves, and a pair of dark brown trousers that were a bit cropped at the bottom, so I rolled them up a little more. It looked formal enough, but was still casual so it didn't look like I was trying too hard.

I straightened my hair for the first time in a while, and I also put on a little more makeup than usual. It had been a while since I had gone out at all, so I was planning on making the most of it.

Catching sight of the clock out of the corner of my eye, I realize it's half past ten. "Shit," I hiss, quickly turning to dig through my shoes in my closet to find a pair.

I decide on a pair of all white platform Vans authentics, pulling them on quickly before grabbing my jacket and my purse - throwing them onto my body as well. Racing out of my apartment, I turn around to lock it up as fast as possible before I'm heading down the street.

Thankfully it hasn't gotten too cold yet given that it's early November, but today is a bit windy, and it's drizzling - it definitely makes it feel cooler than it is. I pull my hood over my head and shove my hands into my pockets to keep them warm, although I won't be walking very far.

I had tried all day at work to keep my nerves at bay, and thankfully I had a day packed with clients so I was able to keep tonight off of my mind for the most part. This was the first time Harry and I would be around each other without my mother or Gwen watching our every move, and I hope that we can fall back into the same routine.

I just have to make sure that I remember to keep that barrier up between us.

My thumbnail swipes across my cuticle in my pocket as I walk, and I'm nibbling on my lower lip out of stress. I just don't want Harry's night to get ruined because of me coming. I'd feel so awful, and guilty if that were to happen. I just have to hope that Gwen really does stick to her word, and that she won't make a big deal about me coming.

I approach the bar and pull the door open, immediately putting my hood down as I step into the main area. My eyes search over the crowd to spot Harry, Gavin or Lance, but I'm having no such luck. There's a couple different rooms to this bar, so I'm guessing they must be in one of those that's off the side of the main room. I turn my body to make my way through the mass of people, heading towards the room to the left first as I know that's where the dart boards are, as well as the pool tables.

Finally I make my way into the new area, and I catch sight of Gavin. He's facing my direction, and I see a large smile appear on his face once we make eye contact. "Carter!"

Harry's back is to me, and he immediately whips his head around. He sends me the boyish grin that I'm so familiar with - causing my heart to flutter. There's still a good amount of people between myself and the table they've seemed to take over, but I notice that Lance is starting to make his way through the crowd to me.

"No fucking way," he chuckles as he throws his arms around me.

I laugh as I wrap my arms around him as well. "I haven't seen you in forever!"

Soon Gavin appears beside him, and I give him a large hug before we head towards the table to join Harry and his friends from Holmes Chapel - Lance's arm around my shoulders. I send a soft smile over to Harry's friends as I shrug my jacket off. I place my purse onto the table as Gavin takes my jacket, and I see he puts it on the back of the barstool with his own.

I've yet to look over at Harry since I've gotten to the table, and it's mostly because I noticed how good he looks as soon as I set my eyes on him. He's wearing a rainbow striped shirt with a pair of light washed blue jeans that are flared. Looking down at our feet, I notice that he's also wearing white Vans authentics, and I take in a deep breath - the small coincidence having me feel a certain way.

"What do you want to drink, Carter? I was just going to get a round," Lance says, and I purse my lips as I stand on my tiptoes to peer over his shoulder so I can see the beer taps.

"I'll just take a Modelo for now, please," I respond, and he gives me a nod before heading towards the bar.

I figure it's best to stick to beer for my main drink since I'm sure we'll be doing plenty of shots, and I tend to last longer on these kinds of nights if I choose not to drink a cocktail in between.

"Hey," I hear Harry's voice, and I finally look up to meet his sage eyes. "I thought you maybe weren't going to show for a second there."

He laughs softly, and I shake my head. "I told you I wanted to be here for you. I wouldn't miss this after telling you I'd be here. Time just got away from me a little bit."

He nods before stepping forward to wrap his arms around me. I close my eyes and sigh softly as I nuzzle my face into his chest. My arms find their way around his waist like normal, and I can feel his cheek pressing to the top of my head. I hate how at peace I feel when I'm in his embrace like this. We haven't hugged like this since the engagement party, and it's almost embarrassing how much I've missed it.

"Oh, I'm being so rude," I hear Harry say as we pull apart, but he keeps one of his arms around my torso as he turns us to face his two friends that I've yet to meet. "Carter, this is Ross and Shane, my friends from back home that I was telling you about."

"Hi, it's so nice to meet you," I tell them, reaching one my hands out to give them each a proper greeting.

"It's nice to finally meet the infamous Carter," I hear Ross say, and I feel heat rising in my cheeks. "Felt like I already had, especially in the college years since you're all this one wanted to talk about."

He points his finger at Harry as he speaks, and I look up to see Harry blushing as well. "I talked about other things," he tries to say, but I hear Shane scoff as well.

"Yeah, okay," he says jokingly. "We both know that's a lie."

We're interrupted by Lance coming back with a tray of drinks - passing them out to each of us just as we ordered. I see that there's six shots in the middle of the tray as well and he nods to them. "Everyone grab a shot," he says before looking over at me. "We were waiting until you were here to get the first round of them."

"You guys didn't need to do that," I say, but I'm still smiling at the kind gesture. "Thank you though."

"It wasn't complete without you here," Harry shrugs as he holds my eyes - both of us with a shot glass in hand.

I don't know what to say back, and I'm fortunate that Gavin begins to speak. "Shots in the air everyone! Cheers to Harry's last big night out as a bachelor!"

We all cheers our shots together following by tapping them on the table below before tipping them back to our mouths. I wince as the liquor coats my tongue, and I swallow quickly to get the taste away as quickly as possible while reaching out for my beer. I gulp down a few good sips of it before the taste seems to dull.

"How out of commission are you, Carter? You used to drink those shots like they were water," Lance comments, and I reach my hand out to press against his cheek - pushing his face away.

"I'll leave right now if you're not nice to me," I threaten, and Harry is quick to gasp.

"Absolutely not," he says and I feel his arm snake around my waist before he's pulling me into his side. "Stop bullying Carter. She can't leave."

I stick my tongue out playfully at Lance as I curl into Harry's side, holding the pint glass in both of my hands. Gavin rolls his eyes at us before speaking.

"Here we go," he shakes his head. "Just like old times - no one fuck with Carter or else you're going to deal with Harry."

"Damn fucking straight," Harry says, holding his own beer towards me, and I smirk before tapping my glass against his.

We each take another sip of our drinks, and I notice that Harry hasn't made any movement to remove his arm from around my waist. I glance down to my side where his fingers are resting - watching as they slightly curl around my hip as he starts talking to both Ross and Shane.

I can feel a shiver run up my spine at the sensation it brings as his thumb glides over my hip bone, causing me to suck in a deep breath through my nose. This touch wasn't something out of the ordinary for us, but I had gone months without having this sort of contact with him. The absence of it was causing this moment to feel bigger than it was, and I was cursing myself internally for the way it was affecting me.

Every part of me is telling me to move away, and to let his arm fall back by his side, but I can't. It's so selfish, and I know it means way more to me to have him hold me like this. I just keep remembering that this is probably it. So, I'll take a bit of Kieran's advice for tonight, and I'll be a little selfish.

Without trying to think too much into it, I curl into Harry's side even more as I take another sip of my beer as I keep my eyes on both Ross and Shane. They're talking about how Harry is planning a trip to come to Holmes Chapel a few months after the wedding, and I find myself cringing when they bring up Gwen going with him as well. The mention of her name almost has me pulling away from Harry, but I remain.

As Harry is talking to Ross and Shane, I'm keeping up the conversation with both Gavin and Lance. I hadn't seen them in a few years, so it was nice to know what they had been up to since the last time we saw each other.

"Okay, let's take a group photo here at the table, and then there's a photo booth near the pool tables that we can take pictures in too," Lance says as he puts some of our beer glasses together onto the table to create a makeshift phone stand before doing a self-timer.

We step back from the table a bit so that we're all in the frame, and as much as I hate it, I make it a point to stand between Gavin and Lance instead of standing next to Harry. I know this photo will end up on social media, and I know that Gwen would probably blow Harry's phone up if she saw us standing in the photo next to each other.

Once we click a few pictures on Lance's phone, we gather our stuff and head over to the pool tables as the guys are talking about playing a few games. The first game was Ross and Shane against Gavin and Lance, so Harry and I stood against the wall as we sipped our beers. I was almost out, and so was he.

"Do you want me to grab you another?" I ask, looking up at him with the inside of my cheek between my teeth.

"Yeah, in a minute. Do you want to go in the photo booth? We can snap some pictures just the two of us before we take the group ones," Harry suggests, pointing over to it. "And then we can get another round."

I smile up at him, finishing up the rest of my beer as we place our empty glasses down onto the table that was near us. "That sounds like a good plan."

Harry places his hand on my lower back as we maneuver through the people to get to the photo booth, and then we step inside. I raise my eyebrows when I realize it's larger than your typical one, but you stand instead of sitting down. I watch as Harry swipes his card to start the machine, and then he goes to adjust the camera.

"Well good thing I wore my platforms today," I joke as he tries to get the right angle to get both of us since I come up just short of his shoulder. "This would be a much worse situation if I hadn't."

Harry chuckles as he gets the camera into a good spot, and then he presses the start button. I move closer to his side as I feel his arm wrap around me. Just before the first picture clicks, Harry pulls me closer and lifts me off the ground so that I'm in the frame better.

I let out a squeal as I was caught completely off guard, and I'm quick to wrap my arms around his neck. He looks up at me, his bunny teeth on full display as he breaks out into a fit of laughter. I'm looking down at him with wide eyes, and soon I'm laughing right along with him as the next picture snaps.

"Wait, hold on, let me get on your back," I state, and he puts me down quickly so I can get behind him.

With my hands securely on his shoulders, he bends down and I straddle his lower back. He lifts up while I lean my head down so my face is right next to his - cheeks pressed together. We're still dying down from our giggles as the next picture goes off. I get a little brave, and I move my hands down from his shoulders to where my hands are now pressed to the center of his chest.

Harry pulls his cheek away from mine to look up at me, and he's still wearing a big smile as we're staring into each other's eyes. At this moment, I've forgotten all about the fact that we're taking pictures. I'm so drawn in by the look that he's giving me with that expression on his face - my pulse quickening just by looking at him.

The final picture snaps, and the flash draws us both of the trance we seemed to have been in. He lowers me to the ground carefully, but instead of letting me walk away, Harry places both of his hands on my hips as he continues to stare down at me.

"I'm really happy that you came, Carter," there's such sincerity to his voice, and I can tell he means every word as he speaks them. "It just feels right having you here. It's like everything about the night is complete."

Lifting a hand up, I do what I've always done. It was a habit I told myself to break, but tonight I choose to break that rule instead. I run my fingers through the front of his curls to move them off his forehead as I tilt my head to the side.

"I'm happy I came too, H. It's been really nice so far."

We move out of the photo booth to collect our photos from the drop, and we're immediately laughing over them. There's two copies so we each take one. I'm quick to put mine into my purse so I don't misplace it, and Harry puts his in the inner pocket of his jacket.

"Another beer?" I ask him with raised eyebrows, and he nods as we begin to head towards the bar.

Once we're at the bar, I feel Harry hook his index and middle finger into one of my belt loops, and I look down at them for a moment. This was something he picked up on doing when we were in college so that we wouldn't lose each other in large crowds, and the longer we've been at this bar tonight the larger the crowd has grown.

The bartender comes over, and I'm quick to lean forward against the surface so he can hear me over both the music, and the voices. I order Harry and I another round of beers as well as a round of shots for our group. I back off the bar a bit as I look over to Harry, and I can see that he's just staring at me with an unreadable expression.

"What?" I laugh, biting down on my bottom lip.

He shakes his head, but he doesn't make any signs of looking away. "Nothing. Just..."

Harry trails off, and I tilt my head to the side. "Just?"

I may be mistaken, but it's almost like I feel Harry's fingers closing down even more around my belt loop, as if he wants to pull me closer, but we're interrupted by a call of my name.

Looking over my shoulder, I'm met with Duncan and a few of the other guys from the shop. "Oh my god, hi," I pull away from Harry as I walk over to them, giving each of them a hug. "What are you guys doing here?"

"Just stopping by for a couple of beers after a show we were at," Duncan says. "How about you?"

"Oh, I'm here for Harry's bachelor party," I say, stepping back to place my hand between Harry's shoulder blades. "You guys remember him, right? I've tattooed him a few times."

Duncan nods and steps forward, extending his hand out to Harry. "Yeah, I remember," he nods. "Nice to see you again, and congratulations on the wedding."

"Thanks, mate," Harry shakes Duncan's hand, giving a small wave to the other guys as well.

"I've got your next round of shots, alright?" Duncan asks.

"Oh, we just ordered-"

"I'll tell them to put it on my tab, and just tell them Duncan has it covered the next time you order some," Duncan interrupts me, and I smile.

"Thank you," Harry speaks up. "You didn't have to do that."

"Not a problem, man. Enjoy your night."

Duncan and the guys head off just as the bartender places our beers down, as well as a small tray with the shots on it. I pull my card out of my pocket so that I can properly start a tab for myself, and the bartender takes it - telling me they'll give it right back.

"No Alfie tonight?" Harry asks, and I let out a hefty sigh.

"He's closing up the shop. We stay open until midnight on the weekends for piercings" I state, already chugging down a few sips of beer. "And I've told you, Harry, it's not like that."

I hardly hear Harry's hum in response due to the volume around us, but I still pick up on it. The bartender comes back over to return my card, and I thank them as I grab the tray of shots while Harry takes my beer for me.

We walk back over to the other guys while Harry's chest is practically pressing against my back. He's not able to grab me in any way since both of his hands are full, so I know he's trying to keep as close as possible.

"Here we go guys!" I announce as I set the tray down on the table.

Just like before, we each take a shot and down them before the others return to their game.

I prop myself up onto the high bar stool that was by our table, and Harry drapes his arm across the back of it. "Carter."

Looking away from the intense game of pool between our friends, I look up into his eyes. "Yes?"

"Thank you for being my best friend," he exhales before running his tongue along the inside of his cheek. "I don't know what I would've done without you these past few years."

I set my beer down on the table and place my hands on his shoulders. "I don't know how I possibly would've survived without you, Harry. I'm so grateful for you."

The corner of Harry's lips twitch into a soft smile, but it doesn't meet his eyes.

"Hey, you two!" Gavin's voice sounds off, and I drop my hands away from Harry as I look over for him. "Shane and Ross lost, so it's the two of you against us."

"Do I have to?" I groan, pushing myself off my bar stool.

"Yeah, does she have to? You guys know she sucks at pool," Harry says as he walks behind me, and I turn around to slap the back of my hand against his chest.

"Don't be a fucking dick."

Harry chuckles as we approach the table, and we each take a pool cue. "You guys will give us some slack since it's my bachelor party, right?"

Lance rolls his eyes. "Yeah, sure...absolutely not."

I giggle at this answer as I hold my pool cue to my chest.

Tonight feels like old times, and I don't think that I realized I missed it as much as I do until just now.

⋆★★⋆

"See you guys in a few weeks!" I call out after Gavin and Lance as they head down the street towards the hotel they had booked not too far away from the bar.

Shane and Ross had left about an hour ago, both jetlagged from the flight as they just got in today. They would be staying here until the wedding, but they were going to be doing some traveling in our surrounding states since it was their first time in the US.

Harry and I now stand together outside of the building, and I look up to see him with a concerned look on his face as he stares down at his phone.

"Everything okay?" I ask.

"Ubers are so fucking expensive right now. The surge has the price way up there. It's almost 70 dollars for me to get home," he shakes his head. "Let me check Lyft."

I stay quiet as he does so, and he huffs out a groan. "Almost the same price."

Pursing my lips to the side, I choose my next words very carefully. "Well...how about you come back to mine? You can hang out until the surge ends, or you can stay the night. I don't care either way."

Harry looks over at me for a moment before he shakes his head. "I wouldn't want to impose."

"Oh, fuck off with that," I say, hooking one of my arms around his. "It's not imposing when you're my best friend. Now put your phone away and let's walk."

We start down the sidewalk, and I'm starting to feel the effects of the liquor I've drank tonight. I wasn't obliterated by any means, but I was definitely feeling the alcohol. Harry tucks his phone into his pocket, and he keeps me close as we walk.

"Did you have fun tonight?" I ask, resting my cheek against his bicep.

"I did. It was all I could've asked for, really. How about you?"

I nod in response. "I think I probably had the best time I've had in a while with everyone tonight. It's so wild to me that Lance and Grace are having a baby."

"Oh my god, I know," Harry gasps. "We make some pretty good matchmakers, huh?"

I giggle at his statement, curling more into him due to the harsh winds. "We really do."

Harry and I had set Grace and Lance up together during our final year of college. We knew they both were attracted to each other, but neither of them would make the first move. We took it upon ourselves to plan a hangout with just the four of us without telling them. At first Grace and Lance were a bit irritated, but after an hour of us all talking, it was like we had all known each other forever.

"I would say maybe I'm a little better though," I blurt out, squeezing Harry's arm into my chest. "I set you and Gwen up too technically."

It's quiet between us for a few moments before Harry speaks. "Yeah, I guess you're right."

We walk into the building of my apartment, and once we approach my door I unlock it. We head inside, both of us toeing off our shoes and shedding our jackets. "Did you want anything else to drink? I have some tequila."

"Yeah, bring the bottle over to the couch. We can just take turns swigging from it - if that's okay with you," Harry says, and I nod.

Harry plops down onto my couch, and I can see that he's manspreading out of the corner of my eye. I let my eyes dwell for just a moment before I look away - heading into the kitchen. I push onto my tiptoes to grab my bottle of tequila off the top of the fridge, and then I fill up two glasses with water. I skillfully tuck the tequila under my arm so I can bring everything over to the couch without catastrophe, and I thankfully succeed.

Smiling at Harry, I put both waters down on the coffee table with the bottle of tequila in the middle. I collapse onto the couch beside him, and I look over to him with what I know is a drunken smile on my face.

"You should just stay the night," I tell him. "Like old times. One last old time, yeah?"

If I wasn't mistaken, I see something almost resembling pain when I speak those words, but Harry quickly covers it up. "Okay, yeah, I'll stay."

"I can take the couch if you want to take my-"

"I'm not taking your bed, Carter," Harry shakes his head as he reaches out to grab his glass of water. He gulps down half of it before setting it back down. "The couch is just fine. I've spent plenty of nights on it already."

"I know," I sigh, closing my eyes for a moment. "It's just...this is your night. I want it to be perfect for you."

The feeling of Harry's hand on my thighs forces me to become more aware, and I open my eyes to look over to him. "It's already been the most perfect night, I promise."

I hum as I look at him. "Well, I'm glad, H. You deserve it."

Sitting up on the couch better, I go to reach out for the tequila bottle at the same time as Harry, and we both break into a fit of giggles. "You do it," he instructs me.

I grab the bottle and pull out the cork before I shuffle onto my knees on the couch. I move closer to him, and I just let my body and mind do what they want for once when it comes to Harry these days. My hand wraps around the back of his neck, and I tilt my chin up.

"Head back," I move my torso so I'm practically hovering over him. "I'll pour it."

Harry keeps his eyes on mine as he does what I've asked. He parts his lips, and I tilt the tequila bottle so the liquor starts to drip into his mouth. I count slowly to five before I stop, but Harry is quick to swallow it all down.

"That's it?"

I roll my eyes playfully, and he snatches the bottle from me. "Your turn then."

My heart skips a bit as I lower my ass down onto the heels of my feet, and Harry moves around so he's over me just a bit. I open my mouth just as he did before I start to taste the tequila against my tongue. I breathe through my nose as the alcohol fills up, and once he stops, I swallow immediately. Groaning, I grab my water to chase it - shaking my head.

"This game sucks, why did I start it?" I choke out, and Harry lets out a loud laugh.

"It's not a game, flower," Harry sets the tequila bottle down. "We're just drinking."

Flower.

It's been years since he's called me that, and I'd honestly forgotten that he ever had. I don't dwell on it though - mostly due to my slightly intoxicated state.

"Can't believe you ever got me into tequila like this," I scold him, although I'm fully teasing. "You're my reason for many, many hangovers, Harry."

Harry reaches out and tugs at my septum piercing. "You love it, don't fucking lie."

I gasp at him, and I push back up onto my knees. "That's not fair. You don't have any piercings for me to get you back."

My eyes trace over his frame, and I smirk as I reach forward. I go to clamp my fingertips down around each of his nipples, but Harry's hands wrap around my wrists in an instant. I let out a yelp of surprise as he pulls them into his chest, and he shakes his head.

"You had four options for that, and you went with the main two? Playing it safe?"

I giggle, going to answer him, but I feel my nose knock against his as I tilt my head up to do so. I didn't realize just how close we were at the moment.

The alcohol is causing my head to swim, and I may be interpreting this all wrong, but I feel him lean in at the same time as me as we keep our sights on each other's eyes.

The next thing I know, our lips are connecting in a soft kiss.

There's a tingle that starts to evolve throughout my body as we keep the small connection - neither one of us really moving. We pull away, and the sound of our wet lips parting fills the room. I flutter my eyes open to look at Harry once again.

Opening my mouth, I go to apologize before I feel Harry's lips on mine once more, and as it deepens, his hands slide down to my forearms until they're dropping to my waist.

He hauls me into his lap, and soon the noises of our lips and tongues clashing against each other is all that bounces off the walls. I can feel my tongue ring rolling along the roof of his mouth as I tangle both sets of my fingers into the back of his curls. Our chests are flush together, and as much as I know this is wrong, the only thing I can think about at the moment is him.

The interaction becomes heated in just a few seconds, and I can feel Harry's fingertips digging into the small of my back from where my top has ridden up. I pull back as he ghosts his hand towards my stomach until he reaches the hem of my shirt. His eyes hold mine as if he's asking for permission, and I give him a nod. My arms raise above my head as he starts to lift my top off my body. He tosses it to the side, leaving me in my strapless bra as I tighten my thighs against his.

"Are you okay?" I ask, my chest heaving.

Harry's eyes look up from the revealed skin to look at my face, and he quickly nods. "Yeah, this is more than okay."

One of his large hands cups my face while the other drops to my thigh, and he pulls me down to connect our lips once more. His thumb swipes over my cheekbone as our tongues glide together.

My mind is absolutely racing, and as chaotic as it feels, I can only focus on how exactly I'm feeling. The one thing that I've wanted for so long is actually happening.

I feel Harry's hands all over me it seems. He caresses my body, treasuring it like I always knew that he would. I moan as I feel his palms encasing my covered breasts - resulting in me rolling my hips against his.

I tilt my head back with a gasp as Harry's lips trail down my jawline, and then my neck. His teeth nip at my collarbone before he works his way back up the side of my neck he didn't tend to before - lips journeying to find mine again.

Harry sucks my bottom lip between the two of his, and I moan. My eyes roll into the back of my head as I grip to his shoulders with an arched back.

"Harry," I whimper, his name muffled as he grazes his teeth along my tongue.

He soon runs his own tongue over mine to soothe the ache, and I can feel his bulge growing against my inner thigh. I trail my hands down his clothed stomach until my fingers grip to the hem of his shirt. He mimics my actions from before with his arms in the air, and I pull his shirt up and off his frame. I look down as I feel my palms in contact with muscles - my hands covering his defined abs.

"Holy shit," I'm dumbfounded at just how fit Harry has gotten. It's been years since I've seen him without a shirt, and even though he's always been very toned, this was another level.

His butterfly tattoo now accentuated his chiseled abs, and I could see the tips of the ferns peeking over the waistband of his jeans - his hips narrowing down into a 'v' shape below the denim. My hands can't stop smoothing across his torso, and I lean forward to have my lips mold against his.

As time goes on, the more I can feel my body heating up, and I want more.

I rock my hips against Harry's with more force, and a groan rattles within him that I feel vibrating back against my hands that are resting on his toned chest.

My lips venture away from his as I begin to tend to the skin of his neck like he did for me - his hands now securely on my hips as he keeps guiding me to grind on him.

"Oh, fuck," Harry moans before I begin to kiss him again.

My hands slide down to his jeans, and I undo the button and pull down his zipper as I lightly suck on the hinge of his jaw.

"That's it," he breathes. "Just like that, Gwen."

My movements cease, and it's like time completely stills as the name that isn't mine leaves his mouth.

I immediately feel tears burning in my eyes as I lift myself up to look at his face - his eyes still closed. After a moment, Harry flutters his eyes open, and he looks at me with confusion before I see the realization take over.

"Carter, I-"

"No, no," I shake my head, climbing off his lap, running a hand through my hair as I search for my shirt. I locate it and tug it over back onto my body as I wrap my arms around myself. "We shouldn't have done this anyway. That...we should just talk about it in the morning when we're sober."

"I didn't mean to, please, I don't want you to go to bed angry at me," Harry goes to reach out for me, but I move even further away.

"I'm telling you, Harry, the conversation needs to happen when we're both in a better state of mind," I tell him. "You know where everything is to get yourself situated."

Racing into my bedroom, I shut the door and press my back against it as I try to catch my breath. I can feel the tears streaming down my cheeks, and I give it a moment so I can gather myself before I walk into my ensuite. I've never been more thankful for having a full bathroom in my actual room until this moment.

I strip my clothes off after turning the shower on, and once the water is scalding hot, I step underneath it. I let it wash over me as I cover my face with my hands - reflecting on what just happened.

I just made out with Harry. My best friend. My sister's fiancé. The man I'm truly in love with, but he doesn't even know. The man who doesn't love me back in that same way.

Gasping to catch my breath due to how overwhelmed I was getting, I reach out to grab the bar of soap, and I start to lather my body. I continue to rub the bar over my skin again and again until I'm starting to truly scrub.

What Harry and I did just now was so wrong, and I need to scrub his touch off of me.

I exit the shower with bright red skin, and I change into my pajamas before I begin to brush my teeth. I stare at myself in the mirror as I do so - pressing a little harder tonight against my gums than I usually do.

His taste is still on me, and I need to rid myself of it.

Once I finish up in the bathroom, I collapse into my bed. I pull the covers completely over my body to hide myself away. As much as I don't feel like I could get sleep after what just happened, I know the alcohol is playing a factor into me feeling tired, and I drift off to sleep.

⋆★★⋆

The next morning, I'm woken up by a muffled voice outside of my bedroom door. I groan as I glance at my phone on the nightstand, and I see it's only a little past ten in the morning. Slipping out from under the covers, I rub my palm into one of my eyes as I open the bedroom door. I recognize the voice as Harry's, and I can tell that he's on the phone with someone.

"I was at Carter's, Gwen. I was going to get an Uber but they were super expensive, and I had one too many drinks at the pub and couldn't drive. I-"

I knew how Gwen could be if she was accusing you of something. I knew that's what she was doing to Harry right now.

She hardly allowed you to speak. It's been that way my whole life. Whether she was trying to say I took a shirt from her closet, or that I misplaced her favorite lipstick - she would always get out what she wanted to say first before hearing anything else.

"You don't believe that I'm actually here at her place right now? Do you want me to go and wake her up because I can? Where else would I-"

I can now hear Harry shuffling around my living room which makes it a little harder to hear the conversation. I'm sure he's trying to gather his things.

"Yeah, I'm about to leave right now. I'll take an Uber back to my car. I'll see you soon."

I give it a few more seconds before I make my presence completely known, and I walk out into the living room to see Harry already by my door - slipping into his shoes.

"Are you already-"

Harry cuts me off before I can even finish my sentence. "I'm sorry, I have to go. Gwen is pissed, and she's not going to hear me out until we're face to face."

I look down at my hands at I fiddle with my fingers, brushing my thumbnail against my cuticle out of a nervous habit. "I was going to fix us breakfast, and then I was going to drive you back to your car at the bar."

"I appreciate that, Carter, but I can't stay. I'll...I'll talk to you later."

I look up just in time as Harry slips out the door, and I feel my heart sink into my stomach.

He didn't even look at me once before he left.

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