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jocia92 · 3 years

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Dan Stevens, who grew up in Wales and south-east England, spent his summer holidays at the National Youth Theater at the age of 15, and he was drawn to the stage while studying English in Cambridge. Since his big breakthrough as Matthew Crawley in the hit series “Downton Abbey”, he has also repeatedly appeared in films such as “Inside Wikileaks - The Fifth Force”, “At Night in the Museum: The Secret Tomb” or “Beauty and the Beast” . Most recently, Stevens played the Russian Schnösel singer Lemtov in the Oscar-nominated comedy “Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga” from Netflix. At the beginning of June, the German film “Ich bin dein Mensch” by Maria Schrader celebrated at the Summer Berlinale Premiere, which starts on 1.7. comes to German cinemas regularly. Stevens plays the role of a love robot in it. Unlike on the screen, however, the 38-year-old prefers to speak English in the zoom-conducted interview. He chose a brick wall with a lion motif as the digital background. No allusion to the song “Lion of Love” from “Eurovision Song Contest”, but a photo of the famous Ishtar Gate in Berlin’s Pergamon Museum, where “I am your human” was filmed last summer.

Mr. Stevens, in your new film “I am your human” you play a humanoid robot that is entirely geared towards fulfilling the romantic needs of a skeptical scientist. You yourself recently described the film as “delightfully German”. How did you mean that?

I wanted to say that here pretty big questions - such as what actually makes a person or how much perfection love can take - are negotiated in a very light-footed, elegant and sometimes humorous way. In my experience that is a very German quality. At least I have often seen with many of my German colleagues and friends that they are very good at not discussing difficult issues exclusively deadly serious and melancholy.

Where does your personal connection to Germany and the German language come from?

My parents had friends who lived in Bielefeld and we used to visit them in North Rhine-Westphalia during the school holidays. Traveled from England by car! That’s how I learned a little German as a child, and later I learned it as a subject at school. I even did a short internship there through our friends in Bielefeld. I really love the language. Funnily enough, I was later able to use my knowledge of German professionally, because my first film was “Hilde”, in which I was next to Heike Makatsch played the British actor and director David Cameron, who was married to Hildegard Knef. After that, I always hoped that there might be another chance to speak German in front of the camera, because playing in a foreign language is an exciting challenge. When the chance arose to shoot “I am your person”, I could hardly believe my luck.

Did you know the director Maria Schrader who gave you this chance?

Funnily enough, when the script for the film landed on my table, I had just watched the Netflix series “Unorthodox”, which she directed. I had also watched a few episodes of “Deutschland 89”. In general, I knew that she was a great German actress, not least because friends who knew their way around the German theater scene often raved about her. Working with her was a joy now. Her understanding of actors is quite instinctive and brilliant. I have seldom seen someone who can help an actor who is having difficulties with a scene with such simple means.

The fact that you had already seen “Unorthodox” shows, of course, how quickly “I am your person” must have been implemented in the past year …

Oh yes, that was really quick. In March I was still in New York and was about to premiere a new play on Broadway. But then the pandemic came, everything was canceled and I flew back to my family in Los Angeles. A few weeks later, Maria and I met each other via Zoom - and shortly afterwards I was sitting outside in a café in the Berlin June sun for the first time in months to discuss the upcoming shoot with her. That was pretty surreal because I hadn’t actually left the house since March.

Is it correct that you oriented yourself to Cary Grant and Jimmy Stewart to portray the romantically programmed robot Tom?

In any case, these were role models that Maria and I spoke about. When you think of the game between the two of them, you always see an enormous clarity and directness. Cary Grant, for example, was always quite funny, especially in his romantic roles, but also flawless in an almost artificial way from today’s perspective. I found that very suitable for a robot. Apart from the fact that the ideas that Tom and his algorithm have of romance and love are certainly also shaped by the classic romantic comedies from Hollywood. Oh, the woman is sad, so I’ll bring her flowers! Such automatisms from the stories from back then were very appropriate for Tom now.

Keyword role models: Who shaped you in your career as an actor?

There were of course many. Jimmy Stewart was certainly something of a role model. My mom and I watched a lot of his films when I was little and I was always impressed by the kind of sweet tragedy that went into all of his roles. But maybe Robin Williams’ work influenced me even more. I always found the incredible variety of his films remarkable. He could make his audience laugh hysterically like no other, but also move them to tears in other roles. I always wanted to emulate this range.

In fact, the range of your roles is enormous and ranges from the Disney blockbuster “Beauty and the Beast” to a comic adaptation in series format such as “Legion” to bulky independent films such as “Her Smell” or the horror thriller “The Rental “, Which we just released on DVD. Is there a method behind this diversity?

Not in principle. I like variety, but I’m not just looking for roles that are as different as possible from one another. Rather, there are always similar factors that I use to select my projects. Sometimes there is a certain director that I really want to work with. Or the role itself is irresistible because it presents me with acting challenges. And sometimes a script is just fantastically written and I am interested in the topics it is about. With “I am your person” it was definitely the latter, especially since the timing was just right. In 2020 there were so many societal questions that ultimately touched the core of human existence. Such a script, which deals with something very similar in a light-footed way, was just fitting.

A few years ago you said in a questionnaire from the British Guardians that your greatest weakness was not being able to make up your mind. So every time you are offered a role, do you ponder whether you should accept?

No, no, when a script appeals to me, it actually does it very quickly. It’s such a gut feeling. If I’m unsure and skeptical, that’s a good indicator that this is not the right thing for me. That with the difficulty in making decisions related rather to something else. For example, it takes me forever to order in a restaurant because I can never decide what on the menu appeals to me the most.

You became famous with the role of Matthew Crawley in the series "Downton Abbey”. Did you immediately suspect at the time that something big was going on?

At first we were all pretty clueless. There are really many British history series, and we were one of them. When the first season aired in the US and was a huge success there, it was pretty unexpected. I never expected the impact the series would have on my career.

Barely ten years later, are you still being asked about the role?

Oh yes, regularly. Probably nothing will change about that either. I got out after three seasons!

In the meantime, however, the flamboyant Russian singer Alexander Lemtov from “Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga” should also be a character with whom you will be immediately associated, right?

Right, it has been mentioned more and more recently when people recognize me on the street. This charming, silly film obviously had a nerve with the audience last year in the middle of the corona pandemic. Especially since the real Eurovision Song Contest had been canceled.

The film was the number one topic of conversation on the Internet for a while - and Lemtov GIFs and memes were everywhere. Did you follow that?

It was really hard to avoid it. I wasn’t looking specifically for what people were posting. But of course my friends passed a lot on to me, and there were already some very funny Lemtov things. But he’s also a figure made for GIFs.

Another question every British actor under 40 has to put up with these days: Would you like to become the next James Bond?

Oh, of course, everyone gets to hear this question again and again who meets certain criteria. But it is completely hypothetical. Although a few years ago I read in an audio book by Ian Fleming’s “Casino Royale”.

You mentioned earlier that you and your family have lived in the United States for a long time. How big is your homesickness?

I actually feel very comfortable in Los Angeles. But every now and then I miss the sidewalk culture of European cities. People on foot, street cafes, things like that. Last year the longing for it was particularly great, although it was of course clear to me that there was a state of emergency in Europe too. In any case, I found myself reading books that were set in Europe and made me homesick. Which is why the unexpected trip to Berlin was really a boon.

You are also an avid cricketer. That’s certainly difficult in Los Angeles, isn’t it?

There are quite a few cricket clubs here. The only problem is that the few people who do the sport here are so good at it that I have problems keeping up. That’s why I always lose sight of the matter here a little. Even as a pure TV viewer, it is not easy to stay on the ball, because of course there is no cricket broadcast here at prime time. But as soon as I’m home in England in the summer, I really want to play again!

#ich bin dein mensch #i'm your man #dan stevens #maria schrader #faz.net #interview #long post

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twinklecheeks · 4 years

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Friends With Benefits (Jeff Wittek Imagine) Part 11

Summary: Jeff and Y/N have been hooking up for a while. The whole vlog squad assumes they’re dating and Y/N does too but Jeff doesn’t like labels. He eventually starts to express interest in Natalie.

Note: Planning on making this a multiple part series, depending on how good it does. You’re 21 & Latina in this (maybe) series. Also, I’d like to apologize for the typos, if there is any. I’m just illiterate lmao.

Side note: Sorry it took me over a week to post this! I just started my last semester of college and I also have a part time job, so I’ve been super tired. I’ll try to be more consistent.

Warnings! Pregnancy, Smut

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4 , Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10,

Word Count: 2k

Christmas Eve 12/24/2019

Y/n: *Wakes up and stares at Jeff peacefully sleeping*

Jeff: *moans*

Y/n: *looks down and notices Jeff has a boner* Hmmm *gently rubs the swollen tip of Jeff’s cock*

Jeff: *thrusts into y/n’s hand*

Y/n: *Smirks and quietly gets out of bed to lock the door* *Pulls Jeff’s boxer’s down and sees his cock slap against his abs* *Softly licks the base of his Jeff’s cock all the way to the tip and sucks the head*

Jeff: *moans* mmm fuck.

Y/n: *You use the entirety of your palms and fingers with just how big and long he is. You hum greedily as you do this*

Jeff: *wakes up and smirks* I guess it’s a very Merry Christmas to me.

Y/n: I can suck on your cock all day daddy *winks*

Jeff: *groaning at how fast you’re going* F-fuck baby the way you’re moaning. You’re gonna kill me *bucks his hips*

Y/n: Shhh, I don't want them to know I’m sucking your cock ;) *continues to deepthroat feeling him twitch*

Jeff: Oh my fucking god baby yesss. Fuck me, fuck me, over and over. I swear I’d be fucking you every nigh- JESUS FUCK *cums inside her mouth*

Y/n: *swallows and sucks his cock clean* That was a great way to start Christmas.

Jeff: *laughs* Me cumming in you?

Y/n: *smirks* Mhmmm, I love it when you’re in me ;)

Jeff: What time is it?

Y/n: It’s 7:42am. I think your mom is already up cooking.

Jeff: Well if you want to see the Christmas parade at 11 w/ Jonah’s family, round 2 in the shower has to be a quickie.

Y/n: *looks down at his cock* You’re still hard? You just came a bunch in my mouth.

Jeff: I’m always hard for you babe *winks*

*After the Christmas Parade*

Suzie: I loved the parade! New York is so pretty during Christmas.

Vardon: Christmas is also more fun w/ snow.

Jonah: Guys it was fucking freezing outside.

Y/n: It was only 38 degrees.

Jeff’s mom: Oh good you guys are back. Marie (Jonah’s mom) and I are almost done with the food.

Jeff: Ma you’ve been cooking since like 6am. Have you had a break?

Jeff’s mom: We also did some last minute shopping/ gift wrapping. Everybody gets to open one present today and the rest tomorrow.

Y/n: You guys open presents tomorrow?

Jeff’s dad: Yeah, doesn’t everybody?

Y/n: Well in the Hispanic/ Latinx community, we call today Hispanic Christmas. So we open our presents today and then we spend the 25th stuffing our faces in left overs. We open on the 24th cause we’re too impatient and yes, we know Jesus was born on the 25th.

Jeff: Maybe we can do that w/ the girls next year.

Jeff’s mom: *tears up* Oh god you’re going to have daughter’s next year.

Jeff: Maaaa don’t cry again.

Y/n: Oh we are definitely doing hispanic christmas. If my sister comes over, she’d want to open the presents like a week before. She’s the most impatient. One year, she opened presents at like 3-4pm.

Jeff’s mom: I’m such a cry baby. Now help me set up the table!

*everybody helps set the plates and food*

Jeff’s dad: does anybody want to start the prayer?

Jeff: I’ll do it.

Karyn: Really? The last time you did it was Easter 2005 and you couldn’t stop laughing.

Jeff’s mom: Karyn.

*everybody holds hands*

Jeff: oh Heavenly Father, thank you for all that you’ve brought us. I know that Christmas is about you but I’d like to say thanks. Thank you for keeping everybody here in good health because I don’t know where I’d be w/ out them. I’m grateful for the supportive family and friends you have given me and most importantly, y/n. I know we were very rocky until recently but you brought her into my life for a reason. She was changing me into a better person and I was too stubborn to accept it. Now she’s going to be the mother of my 2 amazing daughters. Those babies already have me wrapped around their fingers and they’re not even here yet. I can’t wait for the day y/n and I get married and have however many babies you give us but don’t make it twins each time cause that’s gonna make my hair gray fast

Jeff’s mom: Jeffrey-

Jeff: okay I’m just kidding… kind of but you know what I mean. Thank you for everything you’ve done for me and the rest of my family. Amen.

Everybody: Amen

Jeff’s dad: Hun are you crying?

Y/n: *sniffles her nose* NO. Maybe…. I wouldn't have thought Jeff was religious.

Karyn: Only during Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter.

Jeff’s Dad: Karyn stop teasing your brother. Now that the prayer is over with, let’s eat!

Jeff’s mom: Marie and I spent all morning cooking. Also, since this is y/n’s first Christmas w/ us, I wanted to bring some of the food she eats during the holidays.

Y/n: What food?

Jeff’s mom: *shows the Pernil* (pernil is pork shoulder)

Y/n: NO YOU DIDN’T *tastes the food* AND IT TASTES JUST LIKE OUT MY DAD MAKES IT. How did you make it?!

Jeff: She asked me a couple of days ago what you eat during the holidays and I found your sister on instagram. I got the recipe from her.

Jeff’s mom: I saw that it was a Puerto Rican dish so I asked one of my friends who knows how to make it to show me the steps.

Y/n: Oooo imma try not to cry again but THANK YOU SO MUCH.

Jonah: Can we eat now

After Dinner

Y/n: I ate so much, I think I’m having triplets. But thank you once again. I was pretty nervous to come here because I didn’t know how y’all would react to me.

Karyn: Just know that when we get mad, it’s at Jeff cause he’s always the one that somehow messes up.

Jeff: What time is it?

Suzie: It’s 7pm. Should we watch Christmas movies and then open presents before bed?

Vardon: Let’s watch the Grinch

Jonah: *ignores Vardon* Any other suggestions? Please. ANY OTHER.

Karyn: Y/n what do you watch for Christmas.

Y/n: Well, my personal favorite is Jingle all the Way but the Christmas Line up in my family is usually Home Alone 2, A Diva’s Christmas Carol, A Very Brady Christmas, the I Love Lucy Christmas episode and other’s I can’t remember.

Jeff: I mean, we are in New York. Home Alone 2?

Everybody: Sure.

*After watching Christmas movies*

Jeff’s mom: It’s 9:45pm. I think we should be opening our one present before we go to bed.

Jeff: Youngest to oldest! So my niece goes first, then Vardon, Y/n, Suzie, Jonah, etc.

*Jeff’s nieces and Vardon opens their gifts*

Vardon: No way. Jeff got me airpods! Thank you *Hugs Jeff*

Jeff: You’re welcome. Now time for y/n to open her gift from me.

Y/n: Oooo okay. *opens gift and sees two little gold bracelets* what are these for?

Jeff: I always see babies w/ the small little charm bracelet. You mentioned your sister and you never got that from your parents but your older brother did. I wanted to do that for our girls even though they're not here yet. So once we pick out the names, we’ll get the charms.

Y/n: *sniffles* Dammit why do you keep making me cry.

Jeff: Cause I don’t want you to ever forget how much I love you.

Jonah: Can we move on from this sappy shit so I can open my gift.

Everybody: JONAH.

*After everybody opens their presents*

Y/n: Thank you so much for accepting me on such short notice.

Jeff’s mom: Hun we’re family now. You’ll always be a part of us. Same for the Antonyans. We know how much Jeff misses having us around since he’s been living in LA and y’all have been a family to him.

Jonah’s mom: I love Jeff like he my own son. He help us so much.

Jeff’s Dad: Y’all just have to make sure to visit us often. Get’s kind of lonely here w/ Karyn living in Kentucky, Jeff living in LA. I mean Steven lives in the city w/ his kids but we miss having all of you together here.

Jeff: I’m starting to think that having girls runs in the family. Karyn has a daughter, Steven has twin girls and now I’m gonna have twin girls.

Jeff’s mom: I mean you never know if the nurse made a mistake. They thought your brother was a girl for half my pregnancy. Then they did the last ultrasound a week before I gave birth to him and they said he was a boy.

Y/n: Oh god I don’t even want to think about that. I’m already stressed out about the babies possibly being deaf now I gotta be worried if the nurse misgendered them….

Karyn: The babies are gonna be deaf?

Y/n: Hmm?

Jeff’s dad: You just said there’s a possibility the twins will be born deaf.

Y/n: Fuck. I did say that, didn't I… Jeff, you wanna help me out here?

Jeff: Ummm. Damn we weren’t planning on telling anybody this for a couple of weeks. We got a call a couple of days ago after we did some genetic testing and the doctor said the babies have a high chance of being born hard of hearing/ deaf.

Karyn: My doctors told me the same thing. Luckily my daughter turned out fine

Steven: I wasn’t a carrier for the gene…

Jeff’s mom: We’ll love those babies no matter what. If we have to learn sign language for them, then we’d do it. I’ll fly out to LA once it gets close to the due date to help out.

Jeff: Thanks ma. Means a lot.

Y/n: Thank you so much. I don’t know if my own parents would forgive me by then to be there for the birth.

Jeff’s mom: Anytime sweetheart. My god look at the time, It’s 10:15, we have to go to bed before Santa comes.

Jonah: Haha, but santa isn-

Jeff: Jonah you better better not finish that sentence cause my nieces are here and I don’t wanna see the magic ruined for them.

Jonah: What I was saying was, isn't Santa a little late?… He should’ve been here by now…

Going to bed

Y/n: I am so stuffed. Christmas turned out a lot better than I thought.

Jeff: See, you had nothing to be afraid about. Also, good job on keeping the deaf thing a secret haha.

Y/n: Hey! It’s been on my mind since we found out. WAIT. Jonah and Suzie.

Jeff: What about them?

Y/n: they were there…. What if they tell everybody else.

Jeff: Suzie would never… Jonah on the other hand… I have little faith in him.

Y/n: I’m afraid to check my phone.

Jeff: Same. I haven't looked at it all day. On the count of 3…

Y/n: One….

Jeff: Two.

Y/n & Jeff: Three. *looks at phones*

Y/n’s phone: 82 text messages & 24 missed calls

Jeff’s phone: 77 text messages & 21 missed calls

Vlog Squad GC

David: Was what Jonah said true?

Natalie: Is it serious?

Jason: Y’all I’m so sorry

Zane: There has to be a way to fix it. My babies will be okay right?

Erin: I’ll postpone my wedding until the babies are okay

Carly: Oh no Carly and Erin jr :(

Corinna: The babies are gonna be deaf?

Mariah: Is it confirmed?

Heath: Have y’all seen other doctors?

Matt: Guys they’re busy. I don’t think we should be spamming them on Christmas.

Toddy: We’ll stop one they answer us!

David: I’ll put in whatever money you need for surgeries or anything.

Jason: Guys stop. They’ll tell us everything once they’re ready.

(end of conversation)

Jeff: I’m gonna kill Jonah.

Y/n: Oh hun, so will I…

The next chapter might take a bit because I’m still thinking what will be in it. You guys can give be suggestions and I can give you credit for it!

Comment if you want to be on the taglist!

Taglist: @elvlogsquad @siemprestan @zavidzobrik @galxydefender @iminlovewithenchilidadas @ilsolee @ranprivate @one-sweet-gubler @sunwardsss @shamalamashams @michellemxndes

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jess-rewatches-prodigalson · 3 years

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It’s All In The Execution (S2, E1)

It happened. We got a second season. I’m living my best life...unfortunately Malcolm isn’t...

*** Content warning: brief mentions/allusions to depression, suicidal ideation, and Malcolm’s general poor mental health ****

SPOILERS AHEAD.

0:00 - OH HELL YES. I can’t believe we actually got a second season! <3 My heart is so full.

0:18 – “This ledge is taken.” …..ok so I have lots of feelings about this scene. 1) Malcolm’s lines are iconic in this scene and I love it. 2) WHY THE ACTUAL HELL WOULD JT, DANI, AND EDRISA AGREE TO LET A (LET’S BE HONEST) MAN IN A VERY BAD MENTAL STATE WITH A HISTORY OF DEPRESSION STAND ON A LEDGE FOR A CASE?!? Like seriously, Gil wouldn’t have gone with this shit. 3) As soon as I saw Malcolm on the ledge I believed he was seriously considering jumping. He showed passive suicidality most of last season and after Endicott – well I don’t blame him for being a little depressed.

0:26 – Damn. Malcolm is really manic in this scene. It’s reminiscent of the pilot episode in the sense that Malcolm really has no filter.

0:40 – Ok so Tom Payne deserves a freaking Emmy. This performance is gorgeous. Look at his facial expression when he says “It got real dark for me though. Family issues.” The look on his face completely convinces me that Malcolm is riding the struggle bus more than usual right now…..also am I the only one who thinks this ‘penthouse slasher’ is kind of unbelievable? He strikes me as too anxious and jumpy to be a serial killer.

1:18 – Is Malcolm even trying to hide the fact that he knows what happened to Endicott?!? I mean “I tried to fight it” can’t JT and Dani hear his usual ‘projecting his personal issues on the suspect shtick?’

1:30 – Did he really just scream “I am the Surgeon’s son” from a ledge?!? Dude – someone please give this boy a hug and get him to Gabrielle – like last month.

1:40 – Soooo… now Chester isn’t scared of the ledge? He looked like he was going to wet himself from fear a literal minute ago.

1:49 – OH OF COURSE CHESTER SLIT THEIR THROATS. JUST LIKE AINSLEY SLIT ENDICOTT’S. Chris Fedak really loves to inject Malcolm’s personal issues into the ‘serial killer of the week’.

2:23 – I’m sorry – the team let Malcolm on the ledge without tethering him first?!? No. No. No. I refuse to believe it. Dani, JT, and Edrisa care too much about Malcolm to let him do that.

2:28 – Why is Edrisa even on this stakeout?!? Did she fill in as the 4th team member while Gil was in the hospital?!? I love Edrisa – she’s hilarious but the fact that she’s in the field like this is absolute nonsense. Hahaha

2:32 – hahaha OMG. JT is like the big brother forced to hang out with his younger sibling and their weird friends. He’s think’s they’re all crazy but he’d also die for them.

2:42 – Yikes. Malcolm is questioning his moral code. This boy is headed for a real nasty downward mental spiral if someone doesn’t intervene quickly.

2:46 – Am I really supposed to believe that a rope tied to a radiator can hold the weight of two grown men dangling off a building?!? I mean – I’ll suspend my disbelief because I know it’s fictional entertainment but I found it really distracting.

2:48 – JT. Would. Not. Let. Go. Of. That. Rope. I REFUSE TO BELIEVE IT. If for no other reason than because he loves GIL too much to let Gil’s surrogate son fall to his death. I understand why this happened – tension and excitement for television in the first scene of a new season but honestly – this whole first scene is wildly unrealistic given what we know about JT, Dani, Edrisa and their respective roles on the team.

2:50 – Can we talk about JT’s facial hair for a sec? I like him with it (and without it). Part of me thinks he grew it because he’s trying to channel Gil while he’s temporarily in charge of the team.

3:08 – Honestly, the second Malcolm picked up his phone all I could think was “You moron. What if you drop that thing off the side of the building!?!?!”…then I remembered that he’s rich.

3:20 – “Please say it’s cancer.” Hahahahahaha OMG. I have a love/hate relationship for Malcolm with no filter. That’s freaking comedic gold.

3:57 – “I’m hanging in there.” Tom Payne is freaking incredible. Look at his facial expression here. Malcolm’s emotional pain is etched on that face. Ugh. I’m love.

4:02 – soooo no updated title screen. Interesting.

4:08 – Istg the writers only put Ainsley in this scene so she would be in the episode. I mean honestly – what kind of precinct lets reporters with a camera crew INSIDE?!?!

4:15 – hahaha I love JT in this scene. I love how he initially looks at Ainsley with a mixture of confusion, resignation, and fear. This is a man who does not like the camera.

4:16 – Side note: is it just me or is Ainsley acting very manic in this scene? Something about her energy reminds me of Malcolm circa 1x05 when he’s not sleeping and trying to convince everyone that he’s fine.

4:38 – hahahaha OMG. That wink.

4:48 – Even Malcolm looks surprised that Ainsley and a camera dude were let into the precinct.

5:00 – Ahhh the hand tremor. <3 Love that they’re still using that.

5:05 – also Malcolm is heartbreaking in this scene. Someone give him a hug. Look at how hard he’s trying to hide his pain, fear, and trauma. UGH.

5:33 - So we finally get to see it. The moments immediately after 1x20. Or do we? I have this crackpot theory (I posted it on my main blog, so you might’ve already seen it – “AllTimeBouvier”) that these flashbacks are only a fraction of the truth. I think Sophie walked followed Malcolm from the vet’s office to the hospital, then home. I think she hid when she heard Endicott’s voice due to fear but came out after Ainsley started screaming and stabbing. Besides – anyone else notice how the portion of these flashbacks where Malcolm is saying “Ainsley, focus on me. You didn’t do this. I did.” Only his right hand is ever in the frame. So it’s impossible to tell if he’s holding his cell (on the phone with Martin) with his left hand or if he just hung up and put the phone back in his pocket? I think that Martin either phoned Malcolm back or Martin heard Sophie’s voice and demanded to talk to her. I think Sophie disposed of the body while Malcolm took care of Ainsley like a good big brother. I think Sophie went into hiding and Martin is gaslighting Malcolm into believing that he disposed of Endicott’s body.

5:37 – Anyone else want to know what happened to the murder weapon? And Ainsley’s bloody clothes? Just me?

6:00 – hahahahaha Jessica is so extra. I love it.

6:29 – Wait. What? Why was Ainsley quarantined with Jessica? Ainsley has her own apartment. If Jessica forced Ainsley to come and live with her during quarantine – why didn’t she also force Malcolm? This doesn’t track for me.

6:40 – I love that Jessica brought Malcolm food (you can see the grocery bag behind Malcolm in one of the shots) and went so far as to actually lay out the breakfast ingredients for him. <3 I mean. It’s extra but it’s also sweet.

6:45 – Why is Jessica looking at Malcolm’s pill bottles? Is it just to avoid eye contact with Malcolm while she talks about Gil? Is she noticing that his dosage has changed (she’s extra so I’m assuming she knows exactly what meds he takes and how much of each). Is that part of the reason why she’s suspicious of Malcolm? His dosage has gone up and he’s clearly trying to hide his pain?

6:52 – I love how Malcolm interacts with Jessica in this scene. It’s so cute. They’re adorable. AND seeing Malcolm in casual clothing is always nice.

7:44 – “Oh about that.” Damn. Malcolm really can’t catch a break. Poor baby. : (

7:50 – hahaha Martin looks like a mountain man here. Completely deranged and un-groomed.

7:51 – Glad Mr.David isn’t dead or evil. I had fears.

8:35 – The tension between Dani and Malcolm seems to have lessened since 1x20. The trust seems to have been partially rebuilt. Partially. Dani is still suspicious.

8:38 – Well at least Malcolm’s still going to therapy.

8:41 – GREEN SUIT. HELL YES.

9:06 – “The ‘Drise knows.” OMG hahahaha I love this show. Look at how Malcolm looks at her hahaha.

9:17 – “I can fire these people right?” OMG. 10/10. JT REALLY SHINES IN THIS EPISODE. AND FRANK HARTS IS KILLING IT and the writers gave him so much well deserved screen time and great lines.

9:53 – Malcolm and Edrisa getting excited about murder is honestly so freaking cute.

10:34 – OMG. The way Malcolm perks up at the mention of rumours is hilarious. A learned behaviour from Jessica during his childhood?

10:45 – I’ll say it again. Chris Fedak was wasting Frank Harts in season 1. This dude is shining in this episode. I hope they keep giving him more lines and screen time than they did last season.

12:00 – I love seeing Malcolm this excited/happy but it’s pretty concerning that his passion is murder weapons.

12:04 – This scene is really interesting to me for four reasons 1) Where the eff did Dani go? I guess she’s probably on her way to see Gil? 2) Even though Malcolm is getting excited about murder he’s way less manic than he was earlier this episode. 3) I love watching JT deal with Edrisa and Malcolm’s nerdy excitement. I could watch it all day. So fun. 4) I love watching JT and Malcolm in scenes together. Period. I can honestly say that watching their friendship evolve is one of the highlights of this show for me.

12:30 – Heartbreaking. Malcolm had a few minutes where he forgot about Ainsley, Endicott, Martin, and the various traumas currently haunting him. Then he not only remembered but he saw Martin in himself. The crazy person collecting murder weapons. You can tell he feels embarrassed, ashamed, and sad. I genuinely believe that’s why JT says, “soooo weird.” with a look of sympathy and concern. JT doesn’t suspect that Malcolm has anything to do with Endicott’s murder at this point in time. Mark my words.

12:55 – Edrisa gets Bright. I will never ship them together but I really hope they get more scenes together this season. Their friendship is beautiful.

13:00 – Malcolm, baby, no. You don’t have to do this. Ugh. Poor baby. This is just going to make the night terrors worse.

13:10 – They trimmed Martin’s beard but not his hair between the first scene in this episode and now. I think they just combed his hair? Why?!? Was this a Michael Sheen request? I must know!!!

13:40 – hahaha OMG. Can we all just take a moment to appreciate how incredible Michael Sheen is?!? This man can go from downright terrifying to hilarious in a split second. Incredible actor.

13:55 – Sooooo Mr. David doesn’t know about Endicott? Because he’s definitely heard Malcolm and Martin discuss some pretty sketchy stuff over the years. I’m pretty sure he heard about the Sophie stuff last season didn’t he? Why is Martin finally trying to hide something from Mr. David?

14:03 – Look at Malcolm’s face. Ugh. He looks nauseous and scared. Someone hug him. Or better yet – get him away from Martin.

14:18 – Sooooo is Jerry going to be a problem later? Martin ‘cures him’ later in this episode so will he be able to tell someone he heard Martin and Malcolm talking about Endicott’s murder? Would anyone believe him?

14:40 – GO. TO. HELL. MARTIN. You’re not feeling it?!? Haven’t you caused enough emotional damage to your son. Stop. Trying. To. Manipulate. Malcolm.

14:50 – Question 1000 about how Endicott’s body was disposed of: Where the hell did Malcolm get that yellow jumpsuit on such short notice? And….those gloves – anyone else notice that they’re practically the same as the gloves he puts on in Izzy’s sex dungeon in a few minutes? ALSO – THEY FOUND ENDICOTT’S BODY IN ESTONIA?!? LIKE ALL OF IT OR JUST PARTS OF IT? WOULDN’T IT BE SMARTER TO SCATTER HIS BODY IN MULTIPLE COUNTRIES IF IT’S ALREADY IN PIECES?!? Unless maybe Endicott’s body isn’t in pieces because we all know that Malcolm’s memory of traumatic events is fuzzy at best.

15:07 – “Don’t. Say. That. Never, say that.” - I’m really proud of Malcolm here. He’s clearly in serious emotional distress throughout this whole conversation. He’s grappling with what he believes he did, what that means about him, his moral code, and his relationship with Martin. But yet – he found the strength to basically tell Martin to eff off.

15:20 – AMAZING. Right after Martin says “Estonia?” there are a few seconds where it genuinely looks like Malcolm is going to cry. It’s moving as hell, heartbreaking, and some downright kickass acting.

15:56 – Well, that’s not going to help Malcolm’s night terrors. But we definitely have confirmation that Jerry wasn’t as engrossed in the cartoons as Martin suggested.

16:20 – I love this scene. Gil is the whole team’s surrogate father – not just Malcolm’s. Sometimes I forget that. Also – the fact that Chris Fedak waited 16 minutes to show us Gil Arroyo alive and well is a crime.

16:28 – “He wouldn’t dare.” “I know.” How cute is this? Look at Dani’s smile. Ugh. I can’t decide if they know that JT doesn’t want Gil’s job because he loves working with Gil too much or he doesn’t like how much responsibility comes with Gil’s title. Probably a combination of both.

16:35 – Sooo has Malcolm not been visiting Gil? I guess because of COVID he couldn’t but now he’s just not? I mean – Gil would be able to tell how Malcolm’s doing just by looking at him.

17:05 – I’m sorry ‘multiple surgeries’?!? I want elaboration on this.

17:09 – So I googled “British musician Izzy” and the top hit was the guitar player for Guns’n’Roses (who looks kinda like this guy). I have no idea what that means but I found it interesting.

17:30 – Holy shit. Izzy is a nutcase. I love him. hahaha

17:55 – Soooo Malcolm keeps a spray bottle of some sort of magic “show me the blood” water? Nah – the writers wrote it into the show for this scene’s convenience.

18:05 – I love this. Malcolm’s nonchalant approach to his mother and Gil’s budding relationship. He’s like a little kid who doesn’t want to get his hopes up. He’s using the mentality of “If I don’t acknowledge it, it’s not happening. Therefore, if it goes wrong – I won’t get hurt by it.” It’s really sad and I wish he didn’t run away from something that will potentially be good but I also get it.

18:06 – I also respect Malcolm a lot in this scene and am irritated by Dani. Look – they both adore Gil. They’re both protective of Gil (and in Malcolm’s case Jessica). Here’s where they’re different: Malcolm recognizes and respects that Gil and Jessica are adults who can make their own decisions. Dani doesn’t. Dani is acting like a preteen trying to break up Dad and the new step-mom she isn’t sure of. Dani and Malcolm both have their hearts in the right place but I disagree with Dani’s response to the relationship. I also understand where she’s coming from given what we know about Dani’s bio Dad.

18:39 – It’s not supposed to be funny but holy hell. Malcolm putting his head on the floor to listen is hilarious.

19:00 – I’m getting major John Watkins flashbacks. Malcolm breaks down a lot of walls where serial killers once hung out. Is that supposed to be some sort of subtle comment on Malcolm’s character?

20:33 – Damn. Malcolm’s hair is long this season.

20:55 – aannnnnd here are the murder gloves from the Endicott flashbacks.

21:30 – Something about Malcolm dancing to this music in this supremely manic state is really upsetting to me. It just makes me uncomfortable.

22:13 – I’m so worried about Malcolm right now. Holy hell. Get him to Gabrielle. NOW.

23:00 – A skil saw. Pretty much a small version of what Malcolm thinks he dismembered Endicott with. Yikes. Fedak really loves making Malcolm project his issues on murder suspects.

23:27 – Yep. Dani totally thinks Malcolm killed Endicott. She thinks he’s gone dark side and followed Martin’s footsteps. This is not going to be good for their friendship or the trust that they’re rebuilding.

23:50 – One of my favourite things about this show is that it can go from dark and creepy to family sitcom-esque drama in a second. It helps lighten the show’s tone a little. I mean honestly – most of the fans are here for the family drama as opposed to the ‘killer of the week’ storyline anyways.

24:10 – I love this. Jessica admitting to Malcolm that she and Gil have been discussing him for almost 25 years. You can see that Malcolm is 1) a little freaked out and 2) a little touched. For a moment you can see how badly he wants Gil and his Mom to have a long-lasting romantic relationship.

24:32 – OMG. Why did Jessica call Ainsley about Malcolm’s mental state before calling Malcolm? Is that standard Whitly family practice? I have questions.

24:40 – Yep. Dani is Concerned and Scared.

26:46 – Sooo we all agree that Martin was trying to electrocute Jerry to death right? I mean “You really shouldn’t have done that Jer-bear.”?!?! And he’s literally a serial killer?!

27:25 – Mr. David is having none of Martin’s bullshit – so how did Martin get away with it? What does Martin have on Mr. David?

27:50 – “A miracle.” Omg. Hahahaha. I love this show. So. Much.

28:09 – “clearing her brother’s name. Not murder.” Seriously, the parallels between this case and Malcolm’s personal issues are more obvious than usual this episode. Almost to the point where I’m annoyed that the other characters aren’t really catching on.

28:35 – “What happened, his brain break?” I love the way JT can simultaneously tease and be concerned about Malcolm. Ugh. It’s beautiful (and hysterical).

29:07 – Not again. Please stop putting JT in front of the camera. I’m getting second-hand embarrassment and anxiety on his behalf. It hurts to watch (funny too, but mostly painful).

29:19 – Look at Gil. Hahaha he’s so amused by JT’s awkwardness in front of the camera – but you can also see how proud he is. <3 I love papa!Gil.

29:33 – “Police work is patience.” Cute 1x05 callback. And can we all just take a minute to appreciate how much Gil loves Dani. Just look at his proud Dad face!! <3 Warms my cold, dead heart.

30:00 – Oh yeah, Dani is suspicious.

30:04 – I love how Gil seems to be the only person who truly understands Malcolm and all his quirks. <3 I love how much Gil loves Malcolm. <3 I just…ugh. <3 <3 <3 • 30:11 – “I’m a good big brother.” That line cut through my heart. He shouldn’t have been put in this position – choosing between his moral code and his brotherly instincts. It’s not fair and the stress of it is literally killing him.

30:17 – “Messed them up.” Them!?!? I’m sorry Dani, when did you and Gil start talking about Malcolm AND Ainsley?!? Last I checked this was a 100% Malcolm conversation. …she’s not wrong though.

30:33 – “There’s nothing we haven’t talked about.” I love what that suggests. To me – that means they when Dani has a bad break up, they talk about stupid stuff like what they’re cooking for dinner and songs that make them happy. I love that it suggests that Dani and Gil have talked about Jackie. Malcolm might be Gil’s fake-son but Dani is sooo Gil’s fake-daughter. <3 I can just see him getting all overprotective when she gets a new boyfriend even though he knows damn well that Dani is more than capable of taking care of herself – he can’t help it, Dani is his little girl. <3 <3 <3

31:00 – Ugh….ok. So this scene. I’ve seen a lot of mixed reactions about it. I have a bit of a mixed reaction myself tbh. On one hand, I love that they have the type of relationship where they can openly discuss this. On the other hand – it feels forced and it really rubs me the wrong way. Dani is just way out of line here. She’s totally attacking Jessica and Gil is kind of letting her? I mean I think it upsets me so much because Gil isn’t even really defending Jessica. Also, that line about Jackie thinking the Whitly’s are cursed?!? Wtf is that?!? No. No. We know that Jackie loved Malcolm like a son. Jessica has said that Jackie was kind. What is this cursed nonsense?!?!? I refuse to believe it. And the fact that Jessica heard it all breaks my heart. Like – it physically hurts me to watch this scene for all of the above reasons. But I also kind of understand why we got the scene – to further explore the Gil+Dani dynamic and to add some angst to the Jessica/Gil romance.

33:00 – Oh hell yes. I love this danger.

34:10 – Amazing how calm Malcolm is while the killer is literally going through his murder weapon collection. Like he hasn’t been this calm all episode?

35:10 – Ahhhh here’s manic!Malcolm.

35:25 – “Is it my hair?” Okay so totally hilarious, but Dani is listening to this. Can she tell that Malcolm is clearly (and weakly) deflecting the comment about him being a killer like Martin?

35:40 – Malcolm is scared. :( Someone please hug him. This is the most honest he’s been all episode. My heart is broken.

36:20 – Soooo did Malcolm just abstractly tell Dani that he’s a justice killer? Nahhhh I’m totally typing out of my ass.

37:00 – He was on the Harvard fencing team?!? Why is that adorable?

37:34 – Malcolm just cut a dude 3x. No remorse. No more fear. He’s calm. I’m terrified. Does he like hurting the killer?

37:50 – I think Dani suspects that Malcolm killed Endicott. Yep. Definitely.

38:00 – Gorgeous. Absolutely gorgeous. This scene with JT and the cops is heart-wrenching. The fact that Dani and Malcolm come to his rescue is beautiful. The fact that JT is clearly terrified but not angry is perfect. I hate that this scene had to be made but I love how it was executed.

38:31 – Look at Malcolm’s confused, white, rich face here. He genuinely can’t believe that cops just racial profiled one of the only good people who ever accepted a serial’s killer’s son as a friend.

38:40 – I’m crying. JT’s fear (and Frank Harts’ acting) is so believable and completely haunting. I hear the subtext in this scene, “What if those cops killed JT? What would happen to his pregnant wife and unborn child?”, “How is JT going to financially support his family if he loses his job unfairly?”, “How messed up is it that a literal military veteran is terrified of fellow police officers?”.

38:44 – “You didn’t do anything wrong.” This line gives me hope. Malcolm isn’t too far gone. Malcolm still knows right from wrong and he still has a heart of gold.

38:55 – Ok. I LOVE that Gil magically shows up in this scene. BUT HOW DID HE KNOW TO COME TO THE PRECINCT?!?! LIKE WTF? Because Malcolm and JT look surprised to see Gil. Dani just looks relieved – did she call Gil?

39:10 – Gil is an absolute A+ human being. I love him. I will die for him.

39:33 – OMG. JT’s big watery puppy dog eyes have ripped my heart to shreds. <3 :(

39:45 – When I first saw this I thought Malcolm was hurt by Gil’s “and whatever Bright is”. But upon re-watching it – Malcolm looks surprised and so so touched. I’ll be honest – I don’t think Malcolm’s mental state would be so bad right now if he had had regular contact with Gil throughout COVID. Gil is Malcolm’s rock. His literal example of what a good man looks like – without him during a traumatic time Martin creeps back into Malcolm’s psyche.

40:15 – Sooo Martin is still definitely lying to Malcolm.

40:20 – Stupid little thing – there never used to be a toilet on Jerry’s side of the room. And what happened to all of Martin’s books and stuff? Did Claremont put it in storage? I mean he’s a serial killer? Jessica certainly didn’t store it for him.

40:37 – Amazing. As soon as Malcolm physically sees Gil he comes to Martin with a renewed faith in his moral code. (“I stop killers. I don’t help them.”)

41:30 – “Please don’t torture yourself for that.” Martin is right BUT that’s also why I hate him. Martin is manipulating Malcolm right now. He’s trying to convince Malcolm that he genuinely cares and loves his children. Thus destabilizing further Malcolm’s mental state.

41:36 – Also – both Tom Payne and Michael Sheen are acting their asses off here. *chef’s kiss* 10/10. I love to see it.

41:45 – Aaaannnnd there’s Martin the asshole. Completely screwing with Malcolm’s mind. Again. What a dick. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him.

42:00 – Look at how scared Malcolm is. I genuinely think Malcolm (whether or not he actually dismembered Endicott, I suspect he didn’t) feels good when he remembers doing it. This is BAD for Malcolm’s mental health. Yikes. : ( Poor baby.

Ok. So that’s the first episode of season 2. I really liked it. It wasn’t perfect but I’m excited for what this season might bring. Be back next week.

27 notes · View notes

nerolith · 3 years

Note

It’s your fault that I am mean now: all the oh lalala questions please~!

1. Top turn on? Being shown I am wanted. I should add by the particular individual that wants me and I want them is a top turn on.

2. Last time you had sex with the opposite gender? Few weeks ago.

3. Last time you had sex with the same gender? That is even longer I was in my early 30's

4. Last time you masturbated? Every day. Usually in the shower easy clean up haha.

5. What’s the weirdest thing that has turned you on? Dammit... The thought of having sex on top of a horse while it wanders in the back nine.

7. What’s the weirdest kind of porn you’ve watched? Pirate porn haha.

8. How often do you masturbate/have sex? Sex isn't often. I masturbate everyday if I am up for it.

9. Have you ever taken nude pictures? Close enough to being nude?

10. Dom or Sub? I'm Dominic Toretto

11. Is pain a good thing? Only if there is a want for it.

12. Do you like biting? Hahem I do.

13. Do you like scratching? Not skin breaking hard.

14. Are you slightly horny right now? I'm a guy what does that tell you? Haha.

15. Are you very horny right now? Haha

16. Do you like face fucking? If the other individual was into it.

17. 10 of your biggest turn ons?

Dammit again, 10? Should I give a novel of exactly how to turn me on? Haha

Don't most of these questions give away turn ons?

18. Do you cook naked? I have and likely will again.

19. Do you like foreplay? Love it.

20. Have you had a vaginal orgasm? Erhm no.

21. Do you like sex with women? I do.

22. Do you like sex with men? I do.

23. Would you have sex with a trans* person? Yes, a feeling is a feeling.

24. Do you like your nipples played with? Sure? Can't say I've had it done to really know. Haha.

25. Do you like your lips bitten? Of course, it releases the excitement don't you think?

26. Do you like to kiss with tongue? I do.

27. How often do you masturbate? Wasn't this established already? Haha.

28. Have you masturbated while someone else was in the room? Hm I haven't.

29. Would you have sex with a married person? If they were married to me.

30. Would you have sex with a couple/multiple people? That would depend on how my partner would feel on it. Being single? Not sure to be honest haha.

31. Do you go outside naked? If it was private setting where I could I likely would.

32. Do you like being woken up with sex? Never had it happen, perhaps start with oral.

33. Do you give oral? I do.

34. Would you let someone eat off of you? Haha what? Sure? If they wanted to?

35. What is the youngest/oldest you would sleep with? No younger than 30 and up that is just a number. For the most part.

36. Do you like having drunk sex? I haven't been drunk in years I don't know.

37. Do you enjoy wearing lingerie? No.

38. What is your favorite thing about sex? From start till finish and after.

39. What is your favorite sexual setting? Basically anywhere as long as we are both sexual? Haha?

40. Would you ever fool around in a movie theater? Given the opportunity why not?

41. Would you ever make a porno with your bf/gf? Likely not.

42. Would you ever do a photo shoot in sexy clothes for your bf/gf? Sure?

43. Do you like it rough or sensual?: would depend on the mood and treatment of it. Haha.

44. Do you prefer to be with the opposite sex or the same sex? or both? It is all on who I like and gain that feeling for doesn't matter what their sex will be.

45. How often do you get drunk and have wild, crazy sexy with a complete stranger? Never.

46. How do you feel about one night stands? I am not against them. Sometimes they happen.

47. Do you prefer to make love or fuck? Both

48. Have you ever watched porn while having sex? Yes.

49. How long do you usually fore-play before doing the deed? As long as the moment calls for it.

50. Do you like kissing during sex? Yes.

51. Does size matter? Erhm.

52. How many sexual partners have you have in the last month? 1

53. What does your favorite foreplay include? The usual, toys.

54. Have you ever done anal? If so, did you like it? I've given it and I like it.

56. Do you ever worry about how you’re pleasing your partner? Listen to them? Listen to their body and you should have a problem.

57. Could you live without sex? No.

58. How long does a typical sexual episode last for you? Again depends on the person and mood.

59. Do you like to perform oral sex? I do.

60. Do you like to receive oral sex? I do.

61. Have you ever taped yourself in the act? Never.

62. Have you ever had a 3-some? 4-some? 5-some? I haven't.

63. Have you ever been caught in the act? Also no.

64. Have you ever had sex while on drugs? I do not do them.

65. Would you let other people watch you have sex live? No.

66. Do you ever have sex in the shower? I have yes.

67. What was the biggest age difference with a partner? 10 or something like that.

68. Do you feel your up to par in bed? With out a doubt.

69. What was your most embarrassing sexual moments? I don't have any surprisingly I know haha.

70. Do you like having sex in cars? If so, driver seat, passenger, or back? I'm very tall so it would be where ever is more comfortable.

71. Do you wear protection as often as you should? If I need too I will.

72. Do you prefer to sleep with someone older or younger than you? Does that matter?

73. Have you ever done bondage sex (chains ,whips, etc.)? I've tied a individual down before.

74. Can you remember who gave you the best sex of your life? That isn't for the world or myself to name.

75. If you could sleep with ANYONE, who would it be? That is confidential between myself and if the other individual knows or not.

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yeaahishowedupatyourparty · 3 years

Photo

Zara’s Truth Booth.♥️ You can read this as OOC or an IC interview, I really don’t mind!

GENERAL QUESTIONS 1. Please state your full name: “Zara Belle Calloway.” 2. Does your name(s) have any kind of meaning? If so, what is it?: “I’ve literally never asked and I doubt there’s much thought behind it. By the fourth child, you probably just pick a page in the baby name book and go with it.”  3. Do you have any nicknames?: “No - I refuse to accept Zar or Z.”  4. Where were you born? And in which country?: “I was born in South Kensington, London…England.” 5. What is your date of birth?: “13th of December 2001.”  6. Of course, the following question; what is your Zodiac sign? “Sagittarius.”  7. Do you believe in Zodiac signs? “I think so? I relate more to my moon sigh, though - a Cancer.” 8. Where do you live? “Lilac Heights…Violet Springs. In the most beautiful house. I love it.” 9. What is your home situation like? (ex. do you live with your family? Your partner etc.?) “I live in my own house, most of the time. Sometimes with Danny, sometimes without - hopefully more with in the future. I do go back to the hotel sometimes too, in London. Not as much.”  10. Do you have any siblings? “Three older sisters…Yeah.”  11. Do you have any kind of allergies? “Fish, which is just as well. I don’t like it.”  12. Do you own any pets? If so, what kind of pets are they? “I have two dogs; Pumpkin and Tank.” 13. Why did you apply to St Jude’s? “To build up my career, I guess.” 14. Did you had to go through a lot audition rounds? “Not really. I already had three sisters here and also a lot of work I’d done myself by the time I got to eighteen. I did one round of auditions which I’m proud of.”  15. What is the current course you’re following? “Acting and Directing.”  16. If you can switch courses, which one would you switch to and why? “I wouldn’t, I’m fully dedicated to this career I have now.”  17. What is your proudest project you’ve done? “Euphoria, easily. I wrote it, I directed every episode, I casted it, I bought it all to life and helped develop the characters. It will always be my baby and I’m so happy with how it was received.”  18. What is the proudest project that someone’s else has done? “Singular Act I. That’s my baby…Or Little Women, that’s my other baby.” 19. Do you like FanCons? “I love FanCons.” 20. What do you like about FanCons? “Meeting the fans! It never gets old and they’re always so enthusiastic and kind. It reminds me how lucky I am, for sure. There’re some I know by name now and I’m more excited to see them than them me.”  21. What don’t you like about FanCons? “The competition? Does that make sense. It shouldn’t matter who loves who more…I feel like on the fans part it can get quite aggressive when really they’re all there for the same reason.”  22. A fan memory that always stuck with you? Can be positive or negative. “I feel like I’ve been put on the spot! I don’t know…”  23. Your favorite event so far? “I loved the Summer FanCon Tour. That was so amazing.”  24. What kind of event would you like to see in the future? “More events where we get to be silly - fundraisers and challenges. Sometimes it gets too competitive or serious with the award based ones, or talent based ones.”  25. Would you recommend St Jude’s to friends, family. etc? “For sure.” PERSONALITY QUESTIONS 26. What are your positive traits? “I hate this question, don’t make me answer that.” 27. What are you negative traits? “I’m probably a little too hot-headed and emotional.” 28. What would other people describe you as? “…I don’t know.” 29. What are your pet peeves? “Being spoken to like an idiot, or like I don’t understand things. I’m not silly or incapable at all.”  30. What makes you happy? “My friends.” 31. What makes you upset? “Oh, anything! But mainly seeing people down on themselves.” 32. What is something you love? “When somebody is so comfortable with you, that they open up and talk about all of their passions. I love when people are talking about what they love in general.” 33. What is something you dislike? “People who behave like they’ve never made a mistake and don’t let others move on from theirs.” 34. What are you strengths? “Again, I hate answering questions like this…Maybe that I’m good at - eventually - admitting when I’m wrong? Or, a good listener?”  35. What are you weaknesses? “Anything with chocolate on or in it. I’m a simple person.” 36. A misconception people often think of you? “I know a lot of people think that I’m maybe like, how do I put it nicely? A home-wrecker…or, promiscuous, I guess? I’m not. I’ve had maybe 3 boyfriends in my whole life and I’m 20.”  37. Do you have any fears? “I’m really scared of being alone - like literally and on a deeper level.” 38. What scares you the most? “Deep open water. Yikes.”  39. What do you do to entertain yourself? “I don’t - I seek out the closest person to annoy until they entertain me.” 40. What is your MBTI? “I’m an INFJ. Most people are shocked at the I part.”  41. How do you deal with stress? “Cry. Or eat. Or both.”  42. Are you a determined person? Are you a stubborn person? “To an extent, I’d say so.” 43. Do you consider yourself selfish? “No…” 44. Would you like to be different? “I guess so…Sometimes I wish I was more likeable because I get the sense people aren’t that fond of me.”  45. Are you more introverted (focused on your inner world) or more extraverted (focused on other people and the outer world)? “Introverted.” ROMANCE QUESTIONS 46. What is your sexual orientation? “I’m bisexual.” 47. Current relationship status? “Taken…Happily.” 48. When was your first kiss? “It was for a random television series and I was like 14. My first real kiss though was only a year and a bit ago.” 49. Do you remember your first date? If so, with who was it? What did you do? “I don’t remember it. Oops.”  50. Have you ever experienced heart-break? “Yes. Not necessarily through a break-up.”  51. Have you ever been in love? (If yes, skip to question 53) “Yes.”  52. If no, how so?  53. How do you know when you’re in love? “For me, everything becomes about that person. Even songs that I listened to long before I knew someone, or films I watched way before I knew they existed, I manage to tie everything back to one specific person. And, I’m definitely not a subtle person either - I think if I’m in love with someone, they’ll know before I do if they’re observant.” 54. What would be your ideal date? “I always feel like it’s more a question of who; I’d rather do something really simple like staying at home, cooking and watching a movie with someone I’m really comfortable with and like…Instead of going somewhere really extravagant with somebody I know who’ll make me uncomfortable.”  55. What is your perspective on marriage? “It’s not the ultimate declaration of love. There are plenty of married people who aren’t in love anymore…And if you look into the roots of it, it’s kind of…messed up? I don’t know. It’s nice but not necessary.”  56. (only for non-virgins) Are you a sub, dom or switch? “…I feel like I can switch it up. It depends on whatever the person I’m with prefers?” 57. What do you think of relationships? “I’m conflicted because there is so much more to life, but I’m not anti-relationship, obviously. I feel like they’d be better and more enjoyable if there wasn’t such a pressure on people to have been in a relationship before a certain age. If you’ve not found the one at 55, why is that so bad?”  58. What do you think of one-night stands? “I’ve had them. They’re not for everyone, though.” 59. Are you still a virgin? “No.”  60. Most attractive trait in a different person? “Patience. Especially if I’m talking about specifically attractive to me - I tend to jump to conclusions and get sad or mad or annoyed really quickly. So, people who bear with me, that’s attractive.” 61. What matters most to you when it comes to a relationship? “Genuine chemistry. As soon as that goes, nothing else really matters. Like, if there’s no chemistry for one person but loyalty is there - it almost feels like a job.”  62. Are you comfortable with PDA? Or would you be comfortable with PDA? “Yeah.”  63. Are you more of a type to be asked out or the type to ask the other out? “A bit of both. I think I’m probably bold enough to ask people out but it is nice to be asked.” 64. How do you express love to the other? “Pay attention to what they say, make sure they’re happy, tell them everything…Kiss them, cling on to them…Become painfully annoying until they can’t stand it. It’s a cycle.”  65. Who is your celebrity crush? “Danny. My boyfriend. I don’t even care that it’s the cliche answer, haha.” GETTING DEEP QUESTIONS 66. Do you regret anything? “…Yes.” 67. Is there something you woule like to re-do? So, start all over again? “Yes.” 68. What is something you would never share with anyone? “For sure…I’m uncomfortable!”  69. When was the last time you cried? Why did you cry? “…I’m trying to think, maybe a week ago or so? I just felt down and missed somebody.” 70. Most memorable event that happened in your time in St Judes? This could be anything: “That’s really tricky! I’m not sure, to be honest. I wasn’t here when all of the crazy stuff went down, like the cruise ship? I’m really unsure.” 71. One thing you wish you could do all over? “My childhood…but with my 20 year old mind.” 72. Someone you miss? “I’d rather not.”  73. Something you wish you could forget? “I don’t like these questions.”  74. Who has the biggest impact on you? “Probably my family - not necessarily in a good way.” 75. What is your perspective on love? Is it beautiful? Does it scare you? “It’s beautiful and being loved is the best feeling in the world, I’d be lying if I said I don’t crave it.”  76. What has hurt you in the past that you don’t want others to go through? “Losing somebody that is like, your other half. Or actually, losing somebody you really love without much explanation at all. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.” 77. What is something you have gained, something you have lost and something you let go of during the past year? “I’ve gained…more self-esteem, I’ve lost a lot of time I’m not going to get back - I think and I’ve let go of some trust issues, I think.” 78. Have you ever lost a friend? do you wish you would still be friends? “I have. I lost a friend because she dated my ex after claiming they were just friends - I don’t because it hurt and all she had to do was be honest.” 79. Do you have any triggers? What is the history behind these triggers and are they related to any disorders or mental illnesses? “I don’t think that’s appropriate.”  80. If you could meet your 16 year old self, what would tell them? “That things do pass..They don’t necessarily get better or easier, but they pass and you learn to deal with things in a more productive way. I’d also hug her - tight.” RANDOM QUESTION ROUND 81. Summer or Winter? “Summer’s weather but winter’s overall vibe and celebrations.” 82. Cats or dogs? “Dogs, sorry.”  83. Beach or mountains? “The beach.”  84. Phone calls or texting? “Facetime. I’m that friend.”  85. Have you ever skipped class? “Yes.”

#stjudestruthbooth #itszara

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dangermousie · 5 years

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The Usual Shows I am Watching List

For the next week or so at least (obviously, I am unlikely to watch every single one on the list, but they are all in the running; it’s like a preview for posts I am likely to make).

The Abyss (Korea) - I am a few eps behind and, frankly, the drama about two dead people brought back into different bodies, hunting a serial killer and finding love, should be more engaging and smarter than it is, but it’s a pleasant easy watch and I am very fond of the two leads.

Angel’s Last Mission (Korea) - I am only two eps in, but the gorgeous intensity reminds me of old-school kdrama melos that I love so much. A bitter blind ballerina and an angel who is supposed to help her find love but falls for her instead is probably doomed for disaster in terms of happy ending, but I will be eating up all the pain!

Arthdal Chronicles (Korea) - grim (but not too grim) cool and otherwordly fantasy. I still don’t care for any characters, but the drama itself is great to watch.

Cage of Love (China) - surprisingly, not a BDSM tale. Hawick Lau wears amazing outfits and seeks revenge while trying to clear himself from being framed on a regular basis and dealing with heroine who sometimes loves him and sometimes thinks he is the resident serial killer. I started it years ago and now feel like continuing.

The Crowned Clown (Korea) - I need a sageuk in my life and watching Yeo Jin Gu in the pretty inferior Absolute Boyfriend made me remember how impressed I was by him playing both a psycho king and a sweet acrobat doppleganger who replaces him, so I restarted it.

Good Omens (UK) - loved the book when I read it a gazillion years ago and the first ep was good!

Heart of Stone/Hua Jai Sila (Thailand) - basically a 1980s romance crack about a pimp who comes back for revenge on his stepmom and falls for his childhood friend, this is insane! But addictive! Also make-outs!

Here to Heart (China) - it’s on my list and I may or may not get to it. I like the angsty premise and credits (they used to be lovers until she broke his heart in what I am sure is either a misunderstanding or noble idiocy), now he is mega rich and she is hired as his assistant, but Zhang Han has never clicked with me for some reason. He’s good-looking, he’s an OK actor, but for whatever reason he just doesn’t have that “it” for me. Maybe this drama will change that.

Just Between Lovers (Korea) - when it was airing and people were falling madly in love with it, I was in a kdrama slump that no kdrama could cure. But now - oh, this is so achingly, perfectly, emotionally gorgeous. Only one ep in, but I already know this will be a keeper.

Kimse Bilmez (Turkey) - the one Turkish entry on this list! Starts on Tuesday, promises angst, women in danger, macho traditional men who defend them blah blah blah. As a modern feminist, I should probably be appalled, but I like what I like and gimme gimme gimme!

Le Coup de Foudre (China) - I just want to see the aristocrat daughter and the hot constable from An Oriental Odyssey be an OTP, all right?

Legend of Fuyao (China) - am on ep 22 I think. It’s pretty and shippy and I won’t stay awake freaking out about characters or plot twists, but watching Ethan Ruan worship the ground Yang Mi walks on never gets old.

Legend of the Phoenix (China) - on ep 4! Get subbed quicker for my sanity, pls. Love story, scheming courtiers, angst, period costumes. What more does a girl need? Jeremy Tsui looking scrumptious, apparently.

The Legends (China) - finally hit ep 20! I like it and it’s a relaxing, fun, cute watch. Though if Zhao Yao figures out Demon Boy likes her before at least a dozen eps pass, despite him doing everything but carving “I love Zhao Yao” into his chest, I would faint from shock.

Letting You Float Like a Dream (China) - I am excited Young Lord from Minglan gets to be the hero of his own story and get the girl he wants (even if he has to reincarnate a couple of times first), plus look cool in 1930s duds. This is very much my thing.

Likit Ruk/The Crown Princess (Thailand) - sometimes a lady just wants to watch a good, old-fashioned princess x bodyguard romance, especially when said princess and bodyguard are hot enough to set the Chao Praya river on fire.

Listening Snow Tower (China) - on ep 38 now. Gorgeous visuals, awesome fights, and the Victorian duality of the chaste and almost unspoken but frighteningly intense romance is so my jam. But if they kill the hero, I will riot. Let him and Lady Badass wuxia into sunset together, pls.

My Absolute Boyfriend (Korea) - I am all up to date with this one. Which is weird because I am not up to date on other dramas I like more. This is a giant meh emotionally, and wastes some really good actors, but it is so good-naturedly unoffensive, I can’t even complain. Still, perhaps the story of a lady buying a lovebot should have stayed solely in manga form because I’ve never seen an amazing adaptation of it.

Pretty Man (China) - I liked the first ep, and you have no idea how rare it is for me to say that about a contemporary cdrama. Childhood loves who find second chances yes pls.

Princess Silver (China) - Yuu Watase, is that you? Did you write this? Cracky, not too serious, but seriously addictive, this is a chocolate bon bon in drama form. PS Pls cure the prince of his touch phobia through LOTS of skinship, princess!

Siege in Fog (China) - romantic dysfunction reigns supreme, even more so than gorgeous 1930s outfits and people. Elvis Han and Sun Yi boil my blood in amazingly pleasant ways as two people in a marriage of inconvenience, where he pines for her but won’t show it and she loves another, until she wakes up and realizes that HELLO IT’S SEX ON LEGS ELVIS, I NEED TO GET SOME OF THAT! And the civil war says, “not so fast!”

Too Late To Say I Love You (China) - I started it years ago when it was not fully subbed and loved it because in my secret heart-of-hearts, I too want a mega hot warlord who looks like Wallace Chung and has stylish 1930s cars and a private army to sweep me off my feet and obsess over me in an unhealthy but hormonally incredible fashion as if I am the only woman in the world. SiF reminded me of this so here we are.

Tried and dropped:

The Plough Department of Song Dynasty (China) - watched one episode, felt my brain leaking out of my ears and bailed. Granted, I watch plenty of dumb stuff so far be it from me to act high and mighty about a bit of brainless fun, but I don’t like mysteries, there was no angst, and I couldn’t care less if all the characters fell into a giant pit, so here we go...

Well Intended Love (China) - people didn’t like it because the male lead was a sociopath. I didn’t like it because it was cutesy and boring and nobody in it bothered to act (or couldn’t.) I bailed long before the dysfunction, that’s how bored I was.

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sadaboutniall · 5 years

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hi! this is my very first crack at niall x reader. i hope it’s okay! thank you so much for reading and for giving me a chance, and an extra thank you to @gotloveforyou and @wowweeharrystyles for being my first readers and for being endlessly supportive, especially when i felt like writing this was both a lost cause and the wrong move. i don’t deserve that kind of support; thank you.

what you need to know: this is an au in which your boyfriend niall makes it big in his twenties. 1D never happened. harry is mentioned; he and niall are not former bandmates, just friends. this fic includes angst, mentions of alcohol, mentions of sex, and food. there is no smut. additionally, it’s open to sequels, depending—you’ll see.

that’s that! thank you so much again if you do read! please feel free to let me know what you think if you have thoughts! i’m not sure where else to post niall x reader fics, becasue ao3 doesn’t feel like the right place? so for now this will live here. thank you thank you!

rather be cold in your bed than warmed by someone else;

Coming home drunk and alone never gets easier.

It’s this sinking feeling, after a night out with your friends, tears of laughter pooling in the corner of your eyes, cheeks sore from smiling, stomach pleasantly heavy with liquor and snacks and love, that you’re going home alone. Again.

Going home with someone else only makes it momentarily better—pretty thighs straddling you in the backseat of the cab, a stranger’s hand on your throat, their tongue in your mouth, their body in your bed—because they leave before the sun comes up, every time, and then it’s dark and you’re alone.

And it’s all over again.

But the worst. The worst is that going home alone makes you think. No matter how piss drunk you get, no matter how much your head hammers the next morning, no matter how hard you beg whatever merciless God exists above, it’s impossible, when you’re tucked into the backseat of a dark cab, cold and alone and keeping an anxious eye on your route, not to think of him.

Not to think of the way he’d tell the driver where you take you both, confident that you were coming home with him.

Not to think of the way he’d hold your hand in his lap some nights, guiding your fingers up, up, to ghost over the seam in his jeans.

Not the way he’d do the same to you, one hand between your legs, the other holding his phone as he watched Instagram stories from the night out, feigning disinterest just to drive you mad.

Not the way he’d thank the driver and help you out of the cab, let his hand slide down to rest on your ass as he shut the door behind you.

Not the way he’d crowd up against you as you unlocked the door to his apartment, the front of his body pressed into the back of yours, his hands sliding around your waist to toy with the button on your jeans while you tried, as hard as you could, to focus on getting the key in the fucking lock.

Not the way he’d fuck you in the front hall, your legs around his waist, one of his arms bracing against the wall, his lips at your neck, his pants only pushed down to mid-thighs.

Not the way he’d carry you to bed after that, clean you up and get you a glass of water and a couple of cookies to share, kiss your temple, tell you he loved you, and fall asleep clinging to your body.

Not waking up the next morning, the way he’d—

“Excuse me? Is this you?” The driver’s voice shocks you out of your head and you feel unsteady, your stomach sloshing with memories and alcohol and arousal and shame, as you lift a shaky hand to open the car door.

“This is me, yeah,” you manage. Your voice feels thick, like slogging through a muddy field in heavy wellies after the rain. You and Niall did that once, when you went to visit Bobby for the holidays. You’d arrived back at the house covered in mud and soaking wet and even more in love than you’d been when you left. “Thank you so much.”

You hear the driver bid you goodnight as you gently close the car door behind you. On your own. You can do this on your own.

Your apartment is empty and dark but, mercifully, warm. You toe your shoes off inside the front hall, hang your coat on its hook, and it doesn’t fall off, the way it used to when Niall’s bulky coats took up too much space. It’s a blessing, you tell yourself as you wander into the kitchen, not to have to pick your coats up off the floor anymore.

The cabinets are sinfully bare—you still shop like a college student with four roommates to mooch snacks off of, even though you’re not—but you find half a bag of cheetos, a little stale but better than nothing, and set about making yourself a cup of tea. On your own. You can do this on your own.

Unsteady on your feet, still drunk, you wait for the kettle to boil and you don’t think about it. You don’t think about the way he would slide his arms around your waist while the kettle boiled and slow dance with you in the kitchen, gently humming a tune in your ear. You don’t think about how his voice used to be for you and you alone, how his singing was something soft between the two of you. You don’t think about your hands, clasped together on his chest, your foreheads pressed together as you danced, his accent, thick with alcohol and bliss and love when he’d tell you how much he loved you.

The kettle screams. You make one cup of tea and you don’t think about it.

Settled comfortably on the couch, you shoot of the requisite “home safe! Love you all! Thanks for such a good night! xx” text to your group chat, and then you lock your phone, put it face down, and don’t look at his Instagram.

It’s been seven months. Last you checked, four weeks ago, he had over eight million followers.

You don’t look at his Instagram anymore.

Instead, you flip on the TV, find an episode of The Great British Bake Off you haven’t watched too recently, and cradle your steaming cup of tea. On your own.

—

You wake up on your own.

It’s still dark outside, Bake Off is still on, and when you bring the mug to your lips, you realize that your tea is still lukewarm—you haven’t been asleep long at all. But rather than curl up on the couch and let yourself slip back into sleep, you haul yourself up—your body will thank you for not sleeping out here, and your skin will thank you for at least making an attempt at washing your face.

The last thing you remember, after putting your mug in the dishwasher, cleaning the cheeto dust off your fingers, and washing your face, is that your phone is still face-down on the coffee table.

Sixteen notifications. Six of them are perfectly explicable: your four best friends texting to say they’d arrived home safe as well, a couple of “heart” reactions on your message. Ten of them are a fucking fever dream.

Niall Horan

1:37 AM: Hi

1:37 AM: Are u awake ??

1:38 AM: Txt me back , I’m nearby 1:38 AM: I’m in London for a few days . On tour break . Can i See you?

1:39 AM: Will u call me ?

1:40 AM: Was with the boys but

1:42 AM: Bein drunk in lONdon makes me think of you .

1:42 AM: remember that time I fucked you on th e kitchen table and we were so drunk we didn’t even realise you left the kettle on ? Lmost burned the whole fucking place down just to have you

1:43 AM: I’d do it again

1:45 AM: Call Me

If this were a movie you’d probably drop your phone on the floor in shock. And then you’d let Niall inside, drenched from the rain, and he’d put his hand on your jaw and he’d kiss you. He’d confess his undying, unrelenting, passionate love for you and take you on the kitchen floor and never, ever leave you again. If this were a movie, this would be when everything goes back to normal.

But this isn’t a movie—it’s not even raining tonight and you can’t afford to replace your phone if you drop it right now. And Niall left. Seven months ago.

And you know he’s not coming back.

So, instead, you stare at your phone like an idiot. Like a person who can’t read. Like someone who doesn’t want to let the one that got away barge back into their life.

And you are a lot of things. You know that. But you’re not any of the above.

A quick glance up at the top of your phone tells you it’s 1:57. Twelve minutes since Niall’s final text—twelve minutes, a million alternate universes, and countless things that could have happened between then and now. Niall could’ve fallen asleep. He could’ve sobered up. He could’ve found someone else to take home. He could’ve realized what an idiot he was being and blocked your number. He could’ve already forgotten.

Or he could be waiting.

You could be keeping him waiting.

You’d like to think, looking back on it, that something akin to blind bravery overtook you in that moment; that a warrior inside you, one who knew you’d be okay regardless of the night’s outcome, rose up inside you and texted Niall back. In reality, though, it’s closer to desperation—it’s the realization that you’re about to let Niall slip through your fingers again, the knowledge that you wouldn’t be able to live with yourself if you let that happen. This might kill you—it really, truly might—but you’ll die knowing you had him one last time, at the very least.

So you do it. Blind with something—alcohol, bravery, desperation—you text him back.

1:58 AM: Hi. I’m at home. And, me too.

It takes him twenty nine seconds to text you back.

1:59 AM: Be there in ten

—

Panic sets into your stomach like a sinking stone, mixing with the alcohol to freeze you in your tracks. Ten minutes is not enough time to prepare for seeing the man you loved—the man you love—for the first time in seven months. Not like this.

Your eyes sweep your small London apartment—the floors that you haven’t gotten around to taking a Swiffer to in a few weeks, the empty wine bottles on your bar cart, your slippers stashed under the coffee table, the bag of Cheetos still sitting on the couch—all marks of someone single. Of someone getting through all of this on their own.

Seven minutes—you don’t have time. Should you shave, too, just in case? Should you do something with your hair? You’re still in your outfit from earlier, still dressed for a night out, but your face is clean and your apartment is the opposite and you can’t move from this spot, in the middle of your kitchen, and it doesn’t matter but then again it does, because, yes, Niall has seen you in every state, at your best and at your worst, dressed and undressed, apartment clean and apartment dirty, but he’s also spent the last year touring the world, seeing places the two of you had only dreamt of, getting drunk with supermodels and producers and billionaires, becoming a millionaire himself, performing an album full of songs about you for screaming fans in foreign languages. Niall’s seen you in every state, known you in every way, and you could once say the same for yourself about him—but not anymore. This is someone else. The man coming to your door is someone else.

You can’t let your guard down.

—

He makes it in eight minutes.

You’ve seen enough paparazzi shots of Niall stumbling out of the backseat of big, black, expensive cars that you expect to find the same image outside your door: the man who used to go down on you in the backseat of his blue 2003 Vauxhall Corsa sliding, drunk and glowing and beautiful, out of the backseat of an £80,000 Cadillac Escalade—but there’s no car in sight when you open your door.

Instead, you find Niall—your Niall—standing at the bottom of the steps. He’s got a paddy cap pulled down low over his forehead, one hand holding a brown paper bag, the other shoved deep into the pocket of his coat—the coat you bought him, last year, for his 24th birthday.

It’s an image you’ve seen so many times, you almost think it’s a hallucination.

But he’s climbing the four steps from the sidewalk to your front door and he’s real: when he stands in front of you and holds up the bag and says “brought McDonald’s” he’s real, when you silently nod and let him into the building he’s real, when he follows you up the three flights of stairs—not complaining about the climb the way he used to, because he has a trainer now—he’s real, and when you shut the door to your apartment behind you he’s real.

Standing in the hallway of your apartment, lights still out, taking off his coat, he’s real.

Putting the bag down next to his hat on the front table, he’s real.

When he steps forward, grabs your wrists, and pushes you back into the wall, he’s real.

And when his lips hit yours, he’s real.

He kisses the same. Seven months, countless trips around the world, experiences you can’t even imagine, millions of pounds—and he kisses exactly the same. His lips are cold from the night and chapped from the wind and there’s alcohol in his mouth and it’s exactly the same as it’s always been, the way he has one hand on your jaw and one on your wrist, pinning you to the wall, the way his leg slides between your thighs, the way he tilts his head ever so slightly to gain control. The way he pulls back, looks you in the eye, and dives right back in again.

It’s exactly the same.

Still kissing you, he releases your wrist, his hand sliding across the wall until it bumps into your hips and finds purchase there. He makes quick, easy work of getting his hand up underneath your top, running it across your stomach and up, up—

“Fucking missed you,” he says into your neck, “fuck, you’re—”

“Niall,” you hear yourself say it like you’re a mile away. “Niall, Niall, stop, stop, fuck, stop,” your hands scrabble at his shoulders as he sucks into your neck, hips pressed into yours, hands everywhere. You push him back, half an inch, and try not to cry when you look at him.

He’s so fucking beautiful.

“What?” He pulls back, eyes blue, cheeks red. Your heart is in your throat.

“What are you—why are you—what’s going on?”

“Missed you,” he says again, like it’s obvious. “I’m home for a few weeks, decided to go out with the boys tonight. I didn’t put two and two together—the pub Willie chose is the one up the road. Didn’t realize ‘til I was four drinks in. And then I just,” he leans in for another kiss, “I had to see you.”

You can’t think. He kisses at your neck while you try, fail, to unscramble your brain, to make sense of the way he said he had to see you like he wasn’t the one who ended things. Like he wasn’t the one who disappeared. Like he didn’t sit you down on a rainy Sunday night seven months ago and tell you this was no life for you. Like he didn’t tell you that he was leaving on tour—a world fucking tour—and didn’t want to put you through this. Like he hadn’t said, “I don’t want you to sit here and wait for me to come back. I want you to live.”

Like you hadn’t sat here and waited for him to come back, anyway.

“Niall,” you gasp, tangling a hand in the back of his hair. It’s so dark—almost all the blonde is faded. All those nights you’d bleached his roots for him in his tiny bathroom, no ventilation, peroxide fumes making you both hysterical, faded too. He’s someone else now. He’s not yours anymore. “Niall. The McDonald’s is going to get cold.”

He pulls back so fast it knocks the wind out of you. And then he laughs. And you think you’re going to be sick.

“You serious?” He gasps out between laughs. “You’re thinking about the McDonald’s right now?”

“Yeah,” you can’t help the smile stretching across your face. “What’d you bring?”

With a sigh, Niall disentangles himself from you and clicks on the light. He does it so casually, like he never forgot where the switch was. Like he still spends half his time here. Like you could come home from work, the way you used to, and find him in his sweatpants, eating snacks in your bed. “Nuggets for you, burger for meself,” he grabs the bag off the front table, the smell wafting through the hall. “Big fries to share. That… is that still what you like?”

“Yeah,” you tell him. “Haven’t had McDonald’s in a while but… yeah.”

You haven’t had McDonald’s in seven months. It doesn’t matter.

—

The thing about Niall is that it’s impossible for you to feel uncomfortable around him.

It’s always been this way—from the first time you met him, when he performed at the open mic night at your local pub. It was the place you and your friends met every Friday evening for drinks, where you all usually dreaded the one-Friday-a-month open mic night, and the way it meant you’d have to shout over struggling musicians in order to speak to each other.

But then one night there was Niall, with his ruddy cheeks and his charming accent and his cover of Dancing in the Dark that you didn’t actually want to shout over. And there was the way your best friend laughed at you when he finished, the way she said she’d never, in the fifteen years you’d been friends, seen you so blatantly eye-fuck someone in public. And then he stood alone by the bar after his performance, and your friends teased and shoved and plied you with promises of brunch tomorrow morning until you worked up enough courage to talk to him, to congratulate him on a great performance, to buy him a drink.

He took you home that night, and you didn’t make it to brunch the next morning.

And from that first drink, things had flowed easily between the two of you. It’s not that there were never any conversational lulls, or misunderstandings, or rows, but that you never, ever felt awkward, or uncomfortable, or out of your element when you were with Niall. Even if you were fighting, you were comfortable—you knew you could shout, and he’d forgive you. It was how you knew—you used to say—that he was The One.

But it’s been seven months since you spoke to him last. He’s a different person now. And yet—it’s like nothing has changed.

He eats his french fries three at a time—it’s one of his routines, his repetitive patterns, an easy, doable ritual that leaves his skin crawling if he abandons it—and it makes your stomach do something weird when you watch him, sitting across from you on the couch, shove three into his mouth. He’s like a ghost except he’s real—the spitting image of the man you used to love, who left, who you’ve mourned and buried and tucked away, refusing to disappear.

“Still warm,” he passes the container to you, fries sticking out of his mouth like a walrus.

You take a handful and pass it back. “Thank goodness.”

“Mm,” he hums, making for his burger. “You want a bite? They were out of secret sauce but I got mayo.”

“No, I—” you shake your head. The fries feel rubbery and stiff as you swallow them down. “I don’t want a bite.”

He shrugs, says “suit yourself,” and then shoves his face into the burger, the way he always used to, to make you laugh.

And you burst into tears.

Hands flying up to cover your eyes, you try to choke back your outburst but you have no control—you’re drunk and you’re tired and you’re confused and Niall is here and the whole place smells like McDonald’s and it’s like the wound in your heart has been violently ripped back open, like someone shoved a pick-axe into it and twisted it around until you had no choice but to scream in pain. Your tears fall fast and hot and you’re blubbering, like a fucking idiot, in front of the man you love.

“Hey, hey, hey,” Niall drops the burger immediately, boxing it up and shoving the bag out of his way. He scoots across the couch so his knees touch yours, both of you sitting criss-cross-apple-sauce facing each other, and brings his hand up to tug at your wrist. Gently, he pulls your hands away from your eyes, and says, “s’wrong?”

Looking at him feels like when you’re driving on a dark road at night and a car in the opposite lane comes around a bend with their high-beams on. You flinch, your eyes snapping shut, and try to shake the scene of the accident out of your head.

Seven months ago. Right here. He sat you down just like this—facing each other on your couch, a place where he’d held you until you fell asleep, fucked you until you could hardly breathe, kissed you until nothing hurt anymore, tickled your sides until you cried and fell off the cushions and took you down with him, poured your heart out to him while he did the same to you—and broke your heart harder and with more care than you ever imagined possible.

He was making it. After all the open mic nights at the pub, all the tiny shows booked in basement venues in dark corners of London, the gigs opening for the city’s bigger names, your boyfriend was making it. Invited to tour with Sam Smith, to open for their entire tour, across the UK and then Europe and through to the Americas, with the possibility of an extension through Asia, Oceania—Niall was finally going to play his music around the world.

Just not with you.

He’d told you he didn’t want to put you through this—that he’d seen and heard what touring does to relationships, that you deserve a life, that you shouldn’t have to sit here and wait for him to come back, for your life to resume. It was about you, he’d said, holding your hand as numbness settled around you and an alien feeling creeped in—he was doing this because he loved you. And he wanted you to have a better life than the one he could give.

You hadn’t wanted a better life. You’d wanted him.

After he smushed your heart into the floor he fucked you goodbye, his face tucked into your neck, his hands all over your body, so he wouldn’t forget how you felt. He kept his cock inside you for as long as he could after you both finished—until he was gone, and you were cold, and alone, and tired, and numb.

And all on your own.

“Sorry, sorry,” is what you manage eventually, opening your eyes to look at the Niall in front of you. The now Niall. Sitting in the scene of the wreck, unscathed. “I’m drunk.”

“Don’t apologize,” Niall’s hands, holding yours, land in your lap. He’s gentle as he runs a thumb across the inside of your palm. “Is everything okay? Did something happen tonight?”

He asks it like he doesn’t know. Like he doesn’t understand that this is because of him. That he broke you, that he left you to pick yourself up, that he showed up again just after you’d started managing it.

It hits you all at once that he’s being a fucking asshole about this, actually. You’d had a perfectly nice night out with your friends—had even managed to run into one of Niall’s million cousins and have a pleasant conversation without bursting into tears. You’d only thought about him once or twice, if you don’t count the car ride home, and that was something of a new record for you. You were moving on, finally, getting your shit together, getting back on your own two feet, putting yourself back together again.

And then he had to show up. And barge back in like he still owns this place.

It’s rude. You realize it suddenly, like a car coming to a quick stop to avoid slamming into someone else’s bumper. It’s entitled. He has no right to you anymore.

“I had a great night tonight,” you tug your hands back from him, steel yourself, and carry on. On your own. “Really fun, actually.”

“That’s good,” he smiles, soft, a dimple digging into his cheek. “I’m happy to—”

“I barely thought about you at all.”

“I… okay?”

“Why did you come here?”

He reels, for a second, but recovers well—he’s always been good at that, but you can see the media training, just for a second, click in his head. “I told you,” his eyes soften, confused. “I miss you.”

“That’s not a good enough reason.”

“What?”

“That’s not fucking good enough, Niall. It’s not good enough that you miss me and just—I’ve spent seven months missing you, asshole, and I learned to fucking deal with it. You don’t just get to do this.”

“I—” Niall shakes his head. “I didn’t realize—”

“You didn’t realize? You didn’t—Niall, what did you think?”

“I thought I was doing the right thing!

“The right thing?!” You’re watching yourself from across the room, an out of body experience as you raise your voice and Niall does the same to match, yelling at each other the way you’ve dreamt, so many times, of doing. Ripping his heart and his guts out the way he did yours—but not casual, not thoughtful, not measured, like him. You go for the trachea, because he deserves it, because you might never get the chance again.

“You broke up with me,” you tell him, pushing yourself up on your palms, like a pre-game hype-up, “you sat me down and you broke up with me because you didn’t want to have to deal with a relationship while you were touring. You wanted to be able to drop all your responsibilities—including me—and fuck off on tour without having to report back to anyone. And you got what you wanted, didn’t you? Broke my heart and disappeared so you could fuck Victoria’s Secret Angels on a private jet and do lines of coke off their abs and leave me here, in the apartment where I fell in love with you, alone, to wait for you to come home—”

“I told you not to wait for me to come home. That was the whole point, fuck. The whole point was so that you could live a full life, too, without waiting for me. It’s not my fault if you chose not to—”

“What the fuck did you think I was going to do? Three fucking years, Niall. You really thought that after three fucking years I would just move on, live a fulll life? While you were out there—”

“Why does it matter what I was doing? Why does it matter who I was fucking? Like you didn’t fuck anyone? Like you’re some kind of a saint? You didn’t hide what was going on between you and Harry, it’s not fair to say—”

“Don’t,” you hear yourself say it before you can think it through, before you can fully comprehend what a bad idea it is. “Don’t bring Harry into this.”

And the thing is: you’ve seen Niall look angry before. You’ve seen him get mad—at homphobic preachers in the street, at guys hitting on you in the bar, at Trump on TV—but you’ve never seen him look like this. This combination of anger and hurt and disbelief, of fury and sorrow, settling into his features right now. Those familiar features, and such an unfamiliar expression. “You’re the one,” he says, voice low, scarier, somehow, than shouting, “who brought Harry into this. Not me.”

“What, so you can sleep with other people, but I can’t? What kind of double standard—”

“I didn’t sleep with your best friend.”

“You haven’t spoken to Harry in six months, Niall. He’s not your best friend anymore. And that’s your fault, not mine, and definitely not his.”

You watch Niall’s Adam’s apple bob as he swallows thickly, and carries on, “whatever happened between Harry and me, that doesn’t make you sleeping with him any less—”

“How do you even know I slept with him? I never—did he tell you?”

“No,” Niall softens, for just a second, can see the worry flash behind your eyes. “No, he—he’s not like that. I just. You made it pretty obvious on Instagram that something was going on. I figured… and then I asked Mully.”

“You asked your fucking cousin to report back to you on who I was sleeping with? Do you hear what that sounds like?”

“I,” he shakes his head. He’s not angry anymore, and it’s making it hard for you to be, too. It’s still second nature, matching his emotions. Melding into him. Your minds working on the same wavelength. “I was jealous.”

“You’re the one who broke up with me.” It’s weak. You say it anyway. “You’re not allowed to be jealous when you broke up with me.”

“I shouldn’t have,” Niall says. “I’m sorry. I really shouldn’t have.”

He can’t. It’s not fair. You’ve been dying to hear him say it.

“But you did,” you managed to say it with more conviction than you feel. You’re shaking when you stand up, your heart slamming against your sternum with rage, with a warning: there’s no going back now, you’re sealing the deal, you’re taking what you’ve dreamt of for seven months, looking it in the eye, and spitting in its face. If you do this, you’re done. Everything’s done.

“I—”

“You need to go, Niall,” you say. You’re standing over him now, where he’s sitting on the couch, fries still in his lap. “You need to leave.”

Niall has never been pushy. He doesn’t start now. Instead, he swallows thick enough for you to hear it, nods, and stands up. “Okay,” he shoves his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “I understand.”

And that’s it. He collects his things, throws away the McDonald’s, and you watch it happen—watch as the love of your life walks out on you, again. Except this time, because you told him to. Because you can do this on your own—you don’t want to, but you can.

You have to.

At the door, Niall pulls his hat down over his eyebrows, takes a deep breath, and looks at you. You flashback—all the times he’s had you here, all the times he’s kissed you here, all the times he’s made you laugh here, helped you zip your coat up here, told you you looked beautiful here—how he looked, seven months ago, standing here, and leaving for the last time. That night, you didn’t even have the energy to beg him not to.

Tonight, you wouldn’t even know how.

“It was good to see you,” is what he says, hands in his jacket pocket, eyes steady on yours. “I’m in London for a few more weeks. Through Christmas. If you want… you have my number. If you—if—I’d love to see you again. Sober. Even if it’s just as friends.”

You can’t find your voice. All the right words are there, somewhere, in the air between you. You just nod.

“I’ll, uh,” he’s stalling. You feel tired, and a little dizzy. The french fries are starting to give you a cramp. “I’ll see you around?”

“Yeah,” you’ll throw up if he doesn’t leave soon. “Maybe.”

“Cool.”

“Get home safe,” you bite back the question of whether or not he’s going to walk. It’s late, and dark, and cold, and you’d rather he didn’t—but it doesn’t matter anymore. “Or, to wherever you’re staying.” He sold the apartment ages ago—you’d seen it listed in the window of a realtor’s office, months ago. You’d cried for six hours after you found out—drank yourself to sleep, for all the memories scrubbed away, tucked into a place that neither of you could reach anymore. The next morning, you threw it all up—the wine, the memories, the lining of your stomach and your soul.

“At Mully’s,” he rushes to answer, “if you need to find me. I’m staying at Mully’s.”

“Right, okay. Well. Goodnight?”

“Right,” he nods, “goodnight. Sleep well.”

“Thank you, Niall.”

“Of course,” he steps forward, gentle, and wraps his arms around you. You let him. It’s easy enough—melting into his hold, fitting your body to his, sliding your arms around his waist. He’s not as skinny as he used to be, muscle lining his back, his arms bulked out, his body firmer than you remember but somehow just as soft—the slight, gentle curve of his stomach against your own, his fingers tender on your back. He tilts his head down to press his nose into the top of your hair and squeezes you, ever so slightly, as he does, and he still smells the same: cold air, a tiny bit of McDonald’s clinging to him, but the same cologne, the same smell of his skin, the warmth and musk and kindness of him. It hasn’t changed. He hasn’t changed.

Ever so gently, Niall presses his lips to the top of your head.

And then he pulls back.

You’d be stupid to let him go.

He leans forward, pushes a strand of hair out of your eye and toward your ear. “I’ll see you later,” his voice falls to that whisper. The one that’s just for you.

And you let him go.

He lets himself out, closing the door quietly. The front hall still smells like him as you lock the door behind him, and, like a child after their parent leaves them at preschool, make your way to the window to watch him go. You catch him just as he’s stepping outside, shoulders pulled up to his ears, head angled down, braced against the wind and the night and prying eyes. He walks, and he’s the same—the same confident walk that used to send your heart soaring when you’d see him walking toward you, on the street after work, in the pub on a Friday, in the morning bringing you breakfast in bed. You think of all the times he walked toward you, and you watch him walk away.

And then you let the drapes fall, take a deep breath, and head to bed.

On your own.

####

#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH #god okay #i feel very vulnerable about this #anyway #niall horan #niall horan x reader #niall horan x yn #niall horan x you #niall horan fic #niall horan imagine #niall horan fan ficton #niall horan self insert #god idk what tags people use #????#one direction #mine

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redefiningthirtysomething · 4 years

Text

It's like I do this every weekend.

I want to be completely alcohol and cigarettes free.

How?!

Ok. Let's set a goal.

Today is 8/15. Let's go 30 day challenge.

Start day 8/16

Lose 10 lbs

Gain muscle

No alcohol at all

No smoking at all

Workout for at least 30 to 40 minutes 5x a week

Check in on 9/16

I am so excited for tomorrow to start! I need to detox and eat healthy to start 🥰

Ok guys!! Tonight is the Eve before my 30 day challenge. I'm going to try to remember to blog daily in order to track my progress. My hubby volunteered to join me on this journey, he doesn't have to, but I'm glad he suggested it. Tonight we decided to drink as a final hoorah ... but I totally regretted it. I felt so sleepy and off after a few drinks, so I stopped. I got a headache and spent the rest of the afternoon on my bed watching TV. Hubby drank the rest 🙄 and now he's snoring away.

I turned 38 a couple weeks ago, and I'm just ready to be completely as healthy as possible. I just can't party like I used to and it's not fun anymore. Plus, weight my weight loss and exercise going great I wanted to incorporate a more healthy lifestyle.

Guys, pray for me, not because I fear I'll drink, I need prayers for strength & guidance. This can be life changing and I'm so excited!!

So, here we go. Goodnight for now.

Today is now Tuesday and its day 3. The no smoking is harder than I thought. So I did smoke but I'm definitely trying to smoke less and very few. I try to avoid it until I'm severely craving one. We stay home a lot and sometimes I need to get a break, for me going outside and sitting alone brings me peace and I often smoke. So I do smoke a half and save the other half for later. I think yesterday I maybe had 3 total. I skipped my morning smoke and worked out, then had my protein shake. It wasn't until around 12pm when I took a break outside. Not perfect, but improving.

Today I'm going to get my workout in, work on my podcast episode, do some marketing and promotions and maybe take a grocery store trip. Life has been challenging for sure, but I'm so grateful for everything we have and for my daughters health and safety. So, we are riding it out and staying happy.

Day 2: was great. I woke up fresh and energized. Something about being absolutely present feels so good. I killed my morning workout, got dressed for the day and did some house cleaning. We are still staying home as much as possible. I recorded my podcast and I'm preparing for our next episode.

Day 3: another great morning. We didnt drink, although my uncle bought eli a 12 pack. We decided to put it away. But its upsetting hes not respecting my request to not buy him beer. It already planted a seed. We know it's there. People really think it's a joke when you decide to quit drinking.

Day 4: fuck. We fucked up. We drank the beer. So, yesterday after the morning rush and bella finished school, we decided to go do a little shopping. It was hot outside (115) and we were bored. After the shopping trip we came home and eli took the beer out. He said " I'm bored, I'm having one. I'm sorry, you dont need to have one if you dont want to". Initially I said No and was watching TV with him. But, when he got up for that second one... I said I would have one too. We finished the 12 pack, and we had a small argument after he compared me to my sister, it triggered something and I got upset. I went to bed and he slept in the living room. This morning he is still asleep, and I'm livid. The kitchen is a disaster, the living room a mess and I haven't had my coffee yet. I'm not hungover but I'm not 100% and I'm annoyed that he's asleep. Have you ever cleaned while mad ? That was me earlier. Slamming, throwing, crying...

I'm upset that the backyard he started to clean isn't finished yet, I'm upset he hasn't taken his real estate exam, I'm so upset over everything. But honestly I'm mostly upset at myself. I'm so mad that I drank and that I gave in. I'm so mad. I'm SO MAD. I finally sat down to have my coffee and fed the kids. He is still asleep, most likely hungover. But its Thursday and I hate sleeping in during the week. Its NOT the weekend. Get the fuck up.

I'm trying not to be too hard on myself. Starting again today as much day 1.

#momlife #parentingblog #alcohlism #alcohol #sobriety #sober up #sorry for the rant #soberliving #sober curious #sobercommunity #journal

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heymeowmao · 5 years

Video

youtube

[Full] E4 _ Our Songs

[Translations I left in the comments under the cut.]

[Na Ying x Xiao Zhan]

3:13 NY: I still don’t know you very well, so I want to have a chat. XZ: Ok. Male. 28 years old. NY: You’re 28? XZ: Yyp 28 already. You can’t tell by looking? NY: /nods/ /oops!/ No. You’re so young! XZ: Really? NY: Yeah! Young! What’s your (chinese zodiac) sign? XZ: I’m a sheep! NY: !! Me too! Old sheep and young sheep. Hey~ Seems like we have some destiny. XZ: That’s great. NY: I’m also curious about one thing. Which is- when your fans give you food/snacks and you have extra, can you share with me? We can exchange. XZ: Okay~ NY: I think your fans are really cute. XZ: Yes, they are very pure NY: You know, they take you as a role-model. And you take us (mentors) as your role-models. XZ: Of course. NY: I’m really proud of this. XZ: What’s so interesting and meaningful about this program is- inheritance. That is- what’s passed down between you mentors and us. I really want to learn from you, Na-jie. NY: You sure can use your words! XZ: REALLY! (I’m being sincere) NY: Where are you from? XZ: Chongqing. NY: People from Chongqing are a little like those from Dongbei. XZ: Yeah? A more straightforward personality. NY: What do you usually like to eat? XZ: Sichuan food. NY: When I was younger I really liked to eat Mala Hotpot XZ: Mala Hotpot? Na-jie you like to eat spicy things? NY: I really like it. Before, I would eat it SO many times in one month. 7-8, 10 or more. XZ: ! Na-jie! I know why you like to eat spicy things. NY: ? Why? XZ: Because your surname is “Na” (Na = La | BAD JOKE) NY: LOL. What are you saying?

4:50 NY: Let’s make our name now, yeah? XZ: Ok! NY: Xiao Zhan… and Na Ying… XZ: Làjiāo (Chili pepper) NY: Làjiāo Zhan! No, that’s not right… XZ: Na-Zhan jiāo! NY: Na-Zhan! XZ: Na-Zhan? NY: Team Na-Zhan!

5:38 NY: Here’s the situation. Since we became partnered, at no point were we ever practicing together (at the same time, with each other). We always communicated through phone, or WeChat- every day, every minute and second. As long as he has some time between filming, we would practice the songs. Even today, before filming, he finally got to take some time off and we got to practice on stage together. This is the result of our one week partnership. What made me really happy was that he put in painstaking effort and lots of hard work, and I was really surprised. MC: If you had such little time together, than today, against your competitors, Na-jie do you think you have a chance? NY: I feel like in Zhan Zhan’s eyes, he’s full of confidence. XZ: She’s always right!

–

[Tanya x Ayanga]

7:49 T: I think just based on appearances that we look very introverted, but actually on the inside we often act like we have a screw loose NY: Cute, cute. T: Right? Na-jie, you know I am very cute, right?! NY: Very cute. MC: Ayanga, are you actually a person with a screw loose? A: Maybe, not just one. T: He has quite a few. A few loose screws. A: When I’m wearing a suit, I’d say I act more human. But really I’m just a big kid. I like to joke around and play.

–

[Zhou Huajian x Jiang Yiqiao]

8:36 NY: Huajian-ge looks like her dad!

8:44 MC: Your team name is…? ZHJ: Right… we initially, naturally wanted to take a character from each of our names, and came up with “Hua-Qiao (华侨)” [t/n: “overseas Chinese” (a person who emigrated but retains their Chinese nationality)]… and then we started with our surnames and came up with “Zhou-Jiang” (周蒋) –> “ Jiù Zhèyàng ” (就这样) [”that’s just how it is].. and then we thought we could be a little more elegant than that so we came up with: “Yi-Jian” with the meaning of “the first sword under the heavens”. But we want to be modest so, “Yī Jiàn Qīng Xīn” (一见倾心) [”Love at first sight”]. It’s a little more romantic. MC: Do you think in this first round you have a chance to seal it with one strike (一剑封喉)? ZHJ: Let’s do our best, then. JYQ: Ok. I’ll listen to you. ZHJ: I’ve already got two arrows to the heart (两箭就穿心)

[t/n: lots of wordplay with ZHJ’s “Jian”]

–

[Huang Kaiqin x Li Ziting]

10:00 MC: I just need to let everyone know that this group is very special. Because in the previous episode this is the team that just HAD TO BE TOGETHER. HKQ: When I was talking to her I found that she is a very smart girl. Her language skills are really very good. LZT: Thank you HKQ: English, Thai, Mandarin.. she can even speak Cantonese now! Skilled! LZT: I have to know it MC: You have to know it, because you paired up with this teacher, yes? LZT: Right, right. MC: And what is your team name? HKQ: UFO… LZT: Rocket… HKQ/LZT: Co-Ed Group MC: Oh my! You’re already a group! HKQ: She is from a very skilled girl group LZT: Rocket Girls 101 HKQ: Right! So if I wanted to pair with her I wanted to be on her level, so I chose “UFO.” No one can compare with our collaboration. We didn’t discuss what to wear, but look- T/A: We didn’t… NY/XZ: We didn’t either! T/A: We didn’t. But we look so coordinated! LZT: … Let’s just say everyone is coordinated!! ZHJ/JYQ: ….

MC: You’re the fourth group to take the stage. Seeing the other three, I want to ask LZT if she’s feeling any pressure? LZT: I.. I’m good as long as I don’t forget the lyrics. So I- MC: Wait! Can I see your hand? What does “forget the lyrics” mean? What’s on your hand?? HKQ: There’s something.. LZT: A little secret~ MC: Oh, a secret? Ok! Then we’ll see what your little secret is later~ :)

–

13:15 MC: Na-jie. XZ picked your song, right? NY: Yes! Not only did he pick my song, he also picked number 1 (the first to sing) XZ: /hides/ MC: XZ, are you nervous? XZ: /nervous laughter/ XZ: OMG. The pressure’s as big as a mountain. NY: I don’t really feel a lot of pressure. BC even though XZ is a very young idol, he has a very experienced grasp on the musical demands. He has all the technical qualifications.

Na Ying x Xiao Zhan - 爱上你等于爱上寂寞 (Loving You is Like Loving Loneliness)

21:04 MC: Na-jie, you must be really satisfied with XZ’s performance, right? NY: It’s just- unimaginable. MC: XZ, tell me the truth, were you nervous? XZ: At first I was, but then Na-jie started singing and I wasn’t nervous anymore. ZHJ: You two are really happy/satisfied, right? But we aren’t. NY/XZ: ?? ZHJ: If they sang like that, then they could have just picked out number 4. (BC they will beat the other three anyway XD) The pressure on us is too big. 21:41 MC: This song, “Loving You is Like Loving Loneliness” is the song XZ picked. XZ: Yes MC: So that means you’ve loved loneliness before? XZ: !! No, It’s just- I heard this song a long, long- MC: ?? A LONG, LONG time ago? What do you mean? XZ: No, no- Na-jie- I don’t mean that. It was- It was a song I heard my mom listen to, so that’s how I heard it first. This song- I thought the melody was very nice, and it made my heart hurt. I was thinking, Na-jie, what did you experience to have sung like that… NY: … /bows down to Na-jie/ NY: No, I understand too well. His mother played this song, so this is what he listened to while growing up. XZ: Oh, it’s not like that~ NY: It has to be! This song accompanied your growth. How hard was it on you? For your mother to have played such a song… XZ: LOL XZ: I really, really liked this song though. I thought that if I had the chance to sing it in the future I would really treasure it. But I didn’t think that I could actually sing it with Na-jie. MC: With the original singer. XZ: Yes. I’m suuppper content.

22:53 T: I’m not going to hide this from you. Sitting here watching that performance, I really felt like a small fan. Na-jie’s voice was the first Chinese female singer’s that I loved. NY: Please don’t say that T: Really! From the first time I loved your voice, to the first time I met and got to know you as a friend… and then- NY: When we made my album… T: I helped you make your album, and today I’m sitting here, and later I have to sing after you have sung- I- I don’t have the guts to sing anymore! What do I do?! NY: I think what’s beautiful about music is what we share. You have yours. Huajian-ge, his. Kaiqin, his. You each may have qualities (advantages) that I don’t, but through music- we all share.

–

Tanya x Ayanga - 停格 (Stop-motion) x 巴黎圣母院 (Notre Dame of Paris)

30:47 ZHJ: Hey, next time can you all give us prior notice. I didn’t prepare anything that fancy. Did you? HKQ: If next time they sing something like this again, what are WE going to do? Sing Yue Opera? NY: You can sing the Yue Opera. HKQ: You can sing the Peking Opera. NY: I’ll go directly for the 二人转 (genre of song-and-dance duet popular in northeast China)

MC: Let’s ask Ayanga, since this is the first time doing this type of performance, and with Tanya- how did you feel onstage? A: I’ll be honest, I was still nervous. MC: There were quite a few moments when Tanya was singing she was desperately trying to make eye contact with you but you DIDN’T EVEN GLANCE AT HER T: Why didn’t you look at me? A: I was really afraid I’d mess up, bc we really didn’t have a lot of time to practice this song. T: Why?? A: I had a lot of pressure. We had to remember two songs- no, four songs. The French I’m okay with, but for Stop-Motion, sometimes I only had two lines. If I looked at her, I wouldn’t have been able to think of the lyrics anymore.

32:09 MC: Let me expose to you all.. earlier when T/A were preparing I saw NY/XZ making some movements, already practicing for their second song. | XZ: /hides/ MC: Were you really so afraid you wouldn’t pass the first round, you were practicing the second?? XZ: Just giving myself ample practice time MC: You can never have enough practice, right? XZ: Right NY: In terms of heart, I think XZ is really great.. But this second group.. that was an arrangement, right? A: Musical arrangement. NY: That adds points! MC: Let me tell you, with Ayanga, you’ll often encounter this type of surprise. NY: Then… let him go to another program (X’D) /LOL/ A: The other programs don’t want me! NY: You CAME from another program!

Round 1, Wave 1 Result: T/A WIN

–

[Zhou Huajian x Jiang Yiqiao]

39:07 YQ: Teacher, I’ve found that you really like this song. You’ve picked it so many times now. ZHJ: I have YQ: Why is that? ZHJ: At the time I really didn’t know that I really am very suited towards composition and singing for wuxia dramas. This was the first song. Later I really met, in-person Jin Yong (Hong Kong’s most famous writer/novelist). He had absolutely NO IDEA who I was. LOL. But I explained to him and he knew that this was my song. And that was enough. So to me, this song is especially.. I don’t have the words for it. But older people like me really like to think back on the past. YQ: You can say it was an encounter with your idol. ZHJ: In terms of my growth, this was a really important song.

40:09 ZHJ: [Since YQ is having trouble] We thought of a very strange solution. YQ: He said, “Look at Na Ying.” I said, “What?” He said that no matter how nervous she may be, Na Ying is always smiling, always cool. So he said, think of her.

Zhou Huajian x Jiang Yiqiao - 刀剑如梦 (Sword as a Dream)

45:00 ZHJ: It should be that I just now harmed Yiqiao. YQ: No, no. ZHJ: No need to be polite. MC: What happened? ZHJ: There was one part I miscounted the beat. […] After I missed that beat, the end of the song was already messed up. So you all saw that last line, we were both stunned. ZHJ: I’m really so sorry. NY: I made a mistake earlier, too. You don’t know but I made a mistake earlier and I already covered it up. ZHJ: /YOU/ You’re smart, and didn’t bring it up NY: I’m not smart. It’s just that if I didn’t say anything, no one would be the wiser ZHJ: We prepared two songs. This one I missed the beat. For the next one, I plan to forget the lyrics NY: I’ve been singing “征服” (Conquer) for the past 30 years and I STILL can’t get it right ZHJ: We’ll probably have to sing our second song NY: Us too ZHJ: No problem, no problem

47:55 MC: Na-jie… /imitates her gesture from earlier, the “I’ll remember this” gesture when ZHJ picked T/A over her/ Your time has come. NY: … /LOL/ Don’t remind me of this. It’s like I really have it out for them MC: Look how obedient XZ is. He brought the headphones directly to you. NY: … YOU do it. XZ: ??? I CAN’T NY: Come on. Take them down. XZ: I can;t do it. Na-jie, I hand it to you. NY: This type of betrayal… I’m the best at it. Come on. /LZT and HKQ bickering over who has to do the deed/ NY: Come on. Teacher. Let the OLD ones do it. HKQ: The old ones… [NY raises the silver headphones, to vote for ZHJ. But she says she made a mistake and wants a do-over. ZHJ wins 10 points. Now counting on the audience votes to see the winner.]

Round 1, Wave 2 Result: T/A WIN

–

[Huang Kaiqin x Li Ziting]

53:36 HKQ: I chose one of my own songs… Late Autumn! NY: This song accompanied me while growing up!

53:55 HKQ: Don’t tell me you have no clue what we just sang. LZT: … HKQ: This song is about sadness and separation, romantic and beautiful. When you hear the words “Late Autumn” you can already imagine the scene is falling leaves, red and yellow. It’s time for us to go our separate ways, but we are hesitant to leave. LZT: Ah.. ok. HKQ: The two of us standing together may seem like a father sending his daughter off to college. You stand here and don’t move. I’ll go buy you some oranges. This type of feeling. But we have to make it a little more romantic than that. LZT: When I was listening to him explain the meaning I was standing there like the embodiment of SADNESS. I couldn’t really hear what he was saying. HKQ: YOUR sadness is part sad, part rap and dancing. OUR sadness is /sighing, looking into the far distance/ like this.

Huang Kaiqin x Li Ziting - 晚秋 (Late Autumn)

59:54 MC: The last time you sang with HKQ, you had pinyin, but this time you don’t need it. HKQ: AND it’s Cantonese! LZT: I have to use my brain… and my hand :) LZT: When we were practicing, HKQ was very good to me. He translated every line, every word for me. So I was able to understand the meaning of the song. MC: Have you heard this song before? LZT: Honestly… no. So when we were practicing he also told me that if I didn’t have enough feelings of love (romantic), I could think of leaving my own family to study abroad, and use the feelings of familial love and separation. HKQ: A lot of songs, later on, should be about love…. /to ZT/ So you have to cultivate some feelings for me. XD

Round 1, Wave 3 Result: T/A WIN

–

ROUND 2 START

Na Ying x Xiao Zhan - 綠光 (Green Light | Stefanie Sun)

1:05:07 MC: This is Stefanie Sun’s song. Do you like her a lot? XZ: I really like her, yes. MC: Then, do you like Stefanie Sun more or Na Ying more? NY: Be honest. I’ll still love you. XZ: Na-jie is my big sister and Stefanie Sun is… NY: ..your littler-big sister. MC: Relax, relax. Enjoy this stage, ok?

1:06:07 XZ: We made a new arrangement for this song, Green Light NY: That’s why I keep staring at the lyrics. NY: When the spotlight’s not on me, I won’t look at you. I need to stare at those lyrics. XZ: No problem~ NY: And then when the light comes back to me I’ll turn my head and look at you. XZ: Don’t worry Na-jie. When you look at me, I’ll look at you. NY: Stefanie Sun. I know her songs well but I dare not touch them. Because we each have our own flair. I really like the song but I never thought, never dared to sing it. Because this song- the rhythm is fast, XZ: And the lyrics are dense NY: We turned the rap part- that was originally in English into Chinese. The rhythm in Chinese in even more intense.

1:11:21 NY: I feel like we’re on an adventure. Singing all these years we’ve stuck ourselves into this niche, our voices are already used to a certain way and suddenly we have to change to a different path. For us, this is a little difficult. MC: The hardest part is walking off the path and doing something you’ve never done before. NY: I’m completely uncomfortable. Just standing there I was wondering what I would do about my lines. My tongue wouldn’t work right. MC: Now that you’ve finished singing are you comfortable? NY: NOW I am. There were parts I made mistakes, but when I saw XZ on stage I thought that we all should be more like him. You should try it. MC: I think this is a very inspirational song for XZ. Because the previous two songs were very immersive, you had to hold back. But the song just now was very expressive and open. NY: I always thought he sang very bitter and somber songs. THEN I discovered this kiddo is not bitter at all! NY: When we were rehearsing he was even more expressive! NY: He went crazy during rehearsal! That feeling, his dancing and body language all felt like bonding. If you ever hold a concert I think it’ll be amazing. XZ: Thank you, Na-jie.

–

Zhou Huajian x Jiang Yiqiao - 一个人

1:19:31 ZHJ: Thank you, thank you. I’m still working on it. Coming onto this program I hope to properly learn from the younger generation. When I grow up I want to be like her (YQ).

Huang Kaiqin x Li Ziting - 芒种

1:24:20 HKQ: In my day, the choreography was different from nowadays. The type you can see Aunties on the street dancing. NY: Show us.

Round 2 Result: Second place - NY x XZ Third place - ZHJ x JYQ Fourth place - HKQ x LZT

#我們的歌 #Xiao Zhan #Ayanga #Li Ziting #Jiang Yiqiao #here i am waiting for Group A vs Group B #meowmao works #our song

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that-shamrock-vibe · 4 years

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TV Review: Crisis on Infinite Earths (Spoilers)

Part One: Supergirl

Spoiler Warning: I am posting this review the day after the episode airs in the U.S. so if you have not yet seen the first part of the crossover or are waiting for the entire crossover to become available then don’t read on until you have.

Overview:

We have SO MUCH to discuss! So much so that my Easter-Egg section which is usually more or less a minor tag-on at the end of these reviews is possibly going to be the same size as a lot of these other sections we are going through because, as promised by Marc Guggenheim, Easter has come early and we were treated to quite a few very tasty Easter-Eggs, one of which had me cheering at the screen.

But with Part One of this 5-episode crossover already giving us so much action, drama and emotion, it’s not only a question on how the Multiverse survives, but how the rest of the crossover does as well.

In the Beginning:

I love a good theory of evolution story, and we have heard in Arrow over the past season that The Monitor has been around for eons so it stands to reason he was around at the start of creation itself.

I just the sentiment of “In the beginning there was one singularity that soon spawned a multiverse”. It’s a lot like Doctor Who’s first rock theory from “The Runaway Bride”. I don’t know enough about the beginning of all life to actually determine what created the universe, I am more inclined to believe evolution than creationism, but I do like this idea of one reality spawning many.

I wasn’t so crazy about the visuals of this, especially considering in the past whenever we have viewed the Multiverse it’s always been within the Speed Force so we’re used to that blue energy rather than this red darker energy but it seems to be in-keeping with the theme of the crossover so I’m going with it.

Also LaMonica Garrett, who deserves some sort of award recognition not only for appearing as a series regular in both Arrow and The Flash this season but also wearing what I’m sure is the heaviest outfit created, but selling it very well, even the cheesy prophet of doom voice he has down rather well.

Multiverse Annihilation:

Alright so this was obviously to be expected that we would see some if not a lot of Earths be destroyed during this crossover, but my god they don’t pull punches in starting by letting you know “Yeah we’re killing off a lot”.

Now the Earths we see erased during the opening of this episode are Earth-9, Earth-66, Earth-89 and Earth-X. Of those four, we have only ever seen Earth-X which was the Nazi-ruled Earth from two crossovers ago.

Now while there was a great and uncredited cameo here from it and we’ll discuss that further down, would anyone really be sad if a reality where the Nazis won and ruled was wiped out? I know there are inhabitants on that world and for the most part they are innocent and good people, but you would think just maybe find a way to evacuate them like they do on Earth-38 later and then if it goes extinct then fine because it’s not exactly a good reality.

Both Earth-66 and Earth-89 also has great Easter-Eggs just in the name and we’ll discuss that also further down but it is interesting that both Earths-66 and 89 only focused on Gotham City whereas this was the Supergirl episode of the crossover.

Rallying the Team:

Okay so Harbinger, who either was Lyla Michaels but is now an emissary of the Anti-Monitor or simply likes using her Task Force X codename, appears to all the major heroes just as we saw her do in last week’s episode of Arrow and summons them all to Earth-38 aka Supergirl’s Earth.

I have to say as well, I know they’re on a TV budget and can’t really afford to have as many characters in one scene as say Avengers: Endgame did, but the fact they cheapened out and only gave us two Legends (Sara and Ray), rather then also showing Nate, Constantine, Mick and Charlie as well does seem a tad unfair especially considering they’ve been absent from screens the longest, some may say for the better considering the way their show is going.

Also, I will probably talk about this more with the Batwoman episode tomorrow, but they need to clarify the timeline of her show. When we first met her in Elseworlds last year she was Batwoman, but the start of her season saw her become Batwoman, and now she’s still hunting for Alice? How long has it been?

Also, as expected, Tyler Hoechlin’s Superman and his Lois Lane join the party after Argo City is destroyed and they send of their newborn son in a pod to safety. Argo City’s destruction also sees the death of Kara’s mother Alura played by Erica Durance but because I know who’s coming in tonight’s episode and the possibly jokes they’ll make about it I am okay with that as a Smallville fan.

I do always like it in these crossovers when the heroes either first meet or reunite, this time Oliver’s daughter but from the future Mia Smoak and Batwoman are officially introduced as Batwoman reveals herself as Kate Kane, to Oliver’s bemusement.

I do wish also that there was more time spent on character interaction because that is usually what I enjoy most about these crossovers, we had a little bit of that with Brainy and Ray, but Elseworlds I felt established a great repour for Batwoman and the Trinity yet that wasn’t really seen here.

My biggest complaint in this Supergirl episode though is that both Brainy and J’onn were never seen in their natural forms. I know it’s costly and timely to have them look like Brainiac 5 and the Martian Manhunter, but when they just look like Jesse Rath and David Harewood, no matter how great these guys are it’s a comic book crossover event and I would love to see more comic-booky character looks.

Alright so, Harbinger sits down the newly formed or reformed or updated team because they’ve come together now four times to help save a world or multiple worlds or now reality itself and just need to be called the Justice League and get it over with, but anyway I digress.

She instructs the team that the tower that randomly appears was one of many placed by the Monitor on Earths he thought were at risk...why he didn’t just place them on every god damn Earth if he could see the future is beyond me but that’s what we’re getting.

I did like a couple of interactions before going into action where Oliver seamlessly interacted with Barry, Sara and Mia without making it seem forced.

My favourite was the interaction with daughter Mia when he effectively passes on the mantle of Green Arrow to her despite the fact she’s not ready to lose him. I don’t know whether or not the spin-off series focusing on Mia as New Green Arrow has been confirmed yet but we know she will become Green Arrow in the near future.

So Oliver, Mia, Ray and Kate go off and battle the Shadow Demon army that are swarming the tower trying to destroy it for the Anti-Monitor, while Barry, Kara and Clark are off trying to save the people.

I will admit Ray didn’t annoy me quite as much as he has done in recent seasons of Legends during this episode. I did love his interactions with Kate about her suit getting an upgrade and then her asking him to upgrade her batarangs, when Brandon Routh is good he is good and he is pulling double duty in this crossover so let’s hope he’s very good.

Also at this time Lois, because she needs something to do, has gone to Earth-16 with Brainy and Sara to retrieve baby Jonathan who wound up going through a wormhole and ending up on a parallel world...in the future...2046 to be exact.

This was, I feel, there for two reasons. 1) Another Easter-Egg appearance but this time in-house as it references Legends Season 1, but also 2) To still keep the events of “Star City 2046) canon despite the fact that in that episode Connor Hawke was actually John Diggle Jr. and in present day they are not only two separate people but also adoptive brothers...and also we know Oliver is supposed to die so how is he alive in 2046? Well it’s an alternate reality version who apparently can’t remember meeting Earth-1 Sara before.

Our two other teams rallying really only serve to give the rest of the Supergirl cast something to do as Alex enlists Lena to help either build or activate portals to get the inhabitants of Earth-38 to safety while Dreamer and Kelly help get those inhabitants onto ships including the Legion Cruiser that J’onn is piloting because apparently Brainy was given it by the Legion before they left with Winn despite the fact they left in the Legion Cruiser. It doesn’t really make sense but I enjoy seeing that ship again so I am letting it slide.

Saving the Multiverse, Take 1:

This may be quite cynical for me to say but this is what the remainder of the episode was, the first attempt at saving the multiverse because Earth-38 is where The Monitor wanted the heroes to make their stand against the Anti-Monitor.

The Anti-Monitor does not appear in this episode and his army of Shadow Demons are 1) Poorly rendered compared to the likes of the Time Wraiths and 2) Quite easy to defeat when you consider Darkseid has Parademons and even Thanos with his legion of horribles.

In any case while the Supers are trying to fix the tower to make the sky not red which works margingly well before they exhaust themselves, the other heroes are on the ground battling the Shadow Demons. I would have maybe liked if Ray had to cover the Supers while they were doing what they do because it seemed slightly daft that the Shadow Demons wouldn’t try and stop them but that’s what we got.

It was a very small-scale battle and I know we’re only in part 1 and usually it’s the final episode we get the big battle but this was still small scale considering what is at stake here.

The biggest surprise of the battle was Kelly Olsen, who I haven’t really liked all season as she seems pointless other than just being Alex’s girlfriend who always needs saving, apparently has the Guardian armour left to her by James who retired from vigilantism to take over a newspaper in his old hometown and that’s why he left despite never actually being part of these crossovers, his dopplegangers were.

This was also a very low-powered battle. Think about it, the Supers, Flash and Atom all have CGI powers or tech yet we didn’t really see much of it, aside from the Supers trying to fix the tower. Maybe they’re saving the budget for later episodes but it better pay off.

The Monitor comes in as the prophet of doom to basically tell them that they’ve lost this battle but the war still rages, so transports everyone aside from Oliver to Earth-1 Star City.

Oliver refuses to leave and makes one of the most poignent comments I have ever heard him say when The Monitor says “It’s time” and Oliver asks “Has everyone been evacuated” The Monitor responds with “No” so Oliver responds “Then it’s not yet time”. From the trailer I thought this to mean it was time for his death, but actually this was something The Monitor was trying to prevent as he did not see him dying this way, but he does.

Stephen Amell delivers both this line and scene very well. I have never been the biggest Stephen Amell fan and do feel as if he goes to the corny side a little too much but here, given the interactions he had with Barry, Mia and Sara in the episode, and knowing that Arrow is ending and he is supposed to die, it was minorly emotional which is the most emotion he’s ever got out of me.

Fallen Arrow:

The Monitor returns a battered and bleeding Oliver to the Arrowcave in Star City Earth-1 where the rest of the heroes have returned to. Along with the news that they were somewhat successful at evacuating Earth-38 before it was destroyed, it seems that Oliver does actually die in this episode.

First of all, the fact that Supergirl is disheartened to know they didn’t save everyone is stupid because they only worked to evacuate one city compared to the entire planet. Secondly, we know that the episode of Arrow after this crossover will not include Stephen Amell...but to lose him on part one of the crossover does seem like a red herring.

Also I do not think he would die on any other show but his own and that part isn’t until January 14, so I don’t think this is the last of Oliver we’ve seen.

However, out of nowhere, Pariah appears. Pariah is Harrison “Nash” Wells who is the latest Harrison Wells to appear on The Flash and was the main focus of the Crisis teaser at the end of every Arrowverse show over the last two weeks.

I have to say 1) His suit makes him look like Doctor Doom and 2) I haven’t had the time to be as invested with this Wells as I was with Harry Wells or H.R. Wells or even Sherloque Wells to supposedly feel bad for him that he has become Pariah as his penance for freeing the Anti-Monitor.

He is however another harbinger which sounds stupid to say as there is a character literally called Harbinger but not only is Lyla one but so is the Monitor and now Pariah. I’ll be curious to see where this leaves him after the crossover because, unlike almost every crossover before, this is the one that promises ramifications across the multiverse.

Easter-Eggs:

Alright here we go, as I said in the opening Multiverse Annihilation alone, there were multiple Easter-Eggs that not only connect the Arrowverse to various other DC properties but also just have some very cool cameos.

I do have mixed feelings on what they’re doing, as it does look like they are actually trying to combine every DC TV property and possibly movie into the same multiverse which is crazy but it could possibly work.

Titans:

This is the one I cheered at my screen for in a similar way to when they played the Smallville theme while showing their version of the Kent Farm in Elseworlds last year.

As mentioned before, one of the Earths wiped out by Antimatter is Earth-9. On this Earth we focus on San Francisco and two costumed heroes as Antimatter obliterates everything, Hawk and Jason Todd’s Robin. These characters are portrayed by Alan Ritchson and Curran Walters who are the actors portraying these characters in these suits in Titans over on DC Universe.

It was rumoured some time back that Titans would appear in this crossover but never confirmed, I know because for my job I’ve reported on everything to do with Crisis.

Now clearly there’s nothing to say these are the same characters from Titans, particularly as the end of Titans Season 2 saw Jason Todd leave the Titans and we don’t see Nightwing, Dove, Starfire, Raven or Gar, but considering Black Lightning is joining the Multiverse it stands to reason that Titans can as well.

This does also mean that Titans is now on Earth-9, while Arrow, The Flash, Batwoman and Legends are primarily on Earth-1 and Supergirl is on Earth-38.

Batman ‘66

Speaking of other Earths, we have two others that are wiped out in the opening and both focus on Gotham City, why? Well we have Earth-66 which features an elderly gentleman in red walking his dog and seeing the red skies exclaims “Holy Crimson Skies of Death!”.

This gentleman is portrayed by Robin veteran Burt Ward and the character is confirmed to be Dick Grayson of the Batman 1960s series.

This is wrapped up very nicely and honoured in the fact that the Earth is numbered 66 to pay homage to the fact that 1966 is the year the Batman series begun.

Batman ‘89

Similarly, the other Earth we see obliterated is Earth-89. Here we see another Gotham City with a man reading an edition of the Gotham City Gazette that shows a distorted image of Batman with the headline “Batman Captures Joker”.

The man reading the paper is revealed to be Alexander Knox portrayed by Robert Wuhl, reprising his role from the 1989 Batman movie starring Michael Keaton as the Dark Knight and Jack Nicholson as The Joker.

It has also been rumoured before that Michael Keaton would reprise his role as Batman in this crossover, while I still choose to debunk these rumours, it’s official that the 1989 Batman is now canon within the Arrowverse. This takes the Arrowverse from simply being the DC TV Universe to an actual Multiverse spanning TV and Film, something the MCU hasn’t properly managed to do yet.

Star City 2046:

So as mentioned before, DC’s Legends of Tomorrow’s first season had an episode titled “Star City 2046″ where the Legends arrived in a dystopian Star City where Deathstroke’s son Grant Wilson was the new Deathstroke and Connor Hawke was the new Green Arrow and revealed as John Diggle Jr, Diggle’s son which at the time was crazy because Diggle had a daughter Sara before Barry created Flashpoint and replaced Sara with John Diggle Jr...keeping up?

So in the future of this Post-Flashpoint timeline that this universe is now in, we see that Connor Hawke and John Diggle Jr. are two separate people with Connor being the biological son of Ben Turner aka Bronze Tiger and John Diggle Jr now being the leader of the Deathstroke Gang.

This of course caused conflict with that episode of Legends, but because Legends never really follows the rules anyway I think everyone simply let it slide but now we have a loophole way of explaining things.

It turns out that when the Legends travelled to Star City in the year 2046, they also travelled to a parallel Earth, Earth-16. Now this is still in the future so I don’t think they’re saying it’s set, but what they are saying is it still happened and they didn’t overwrite their own lore basically.

We do only see Oliver here, who still has a cybernetic arm from before which Sara remembers and uses to her advantage, but Oliver doesn’t seem to remember that this Sara is not his Sara despite them having a rather candid conversation in that episode.

Also Joseph David-Jones portrayed Connor Hawke of that Earth in “Star City 2046″ so of course it makes sense for him to return as the Connor Hawke of Earth-1 in the future, but why didn’t he appear in this episode if he is already part of the cast of Arrow this season?

The Ray:

Briefest of cameos and unfairly uncredited in my opinion but we see a brief glimpse of Ray Terrill aka The Ray portrayed by Russell Tovey flying through the skies of Earth-X before being obliterated. Tovey first portrayed The Ray in “Crisis on Earth-X” two years ago and was part of the first openly gay male relationship in comic-book history with Wentworth Miller’s Leo Snart.

He then went on to voice the character in his own short-lived animated web series Freedom Fighters, but to see him return in live-action even for a brief uncredited cameo shows how much Tovey respects both the character and this universe and I love him even more for that.

Jonathan Kent:

Alright so I’ve mentioned baby Jonathan a couple of times because we knew Lois was pregnant at the end of Elseworlds last years however now seeing Jonathan Kent Jr. I am excited for what this could mean going forward.

In the comics, Jonathan is the son of Superman and Lois Lane given the full name Jonathan Samuel Kent to honour both his grandfathers and is a Kryptonian-Human hybrid who becomes the new Superboy and teams up with Damian Wayne, the Teen Titans and the Legion of Superheroes.

So when Brainy mentioned him going through a wormhole and time-travelling I thought they may be setting up that he’ll be taken in by the Legion, Mon-El may return with a grown-up version of him later in the season or something, but no he’s safe and Lois has him back.

The one thing I will say about him is I hope the writers don’t relegate Tyler Hoechlin’s already minimal Super-Antics into simply being Super-Dad. The odd dad line is funny but I hope that’s not all he is.

I am going to wait until Part 5 to rank the entire crossover but if they keep the momentum that Part 1 managed to accelerate then this could be the greatest TV accomplishment ever and could even rival Avengers: Endgame in how they literally bring worlds together.

So that’s my review of Crisis on Infinite Earths: Part One, what did you guys think? Post your comments and check out more DC TV Reviews as well as other TV Reviews and posts.

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spaceorphan18 · 5 years

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Glee - The Exit Quiz

Okay, I’m gonna rapid fire answer these, cause why not. I really recommend you guys do the same! (also - thanks @honeysucklepink - for sending in an ask <3)

1. favorite character?

Kurt Hummel - love him so hard (but obviously, y’all know I love Blaine and many others, too)

2. favorite teacher?

Probably Beiste or Emma

3. favorite couple?

Klaine - be shocked.

4. least favorite character?

Believe it or not, Ken Tanaka - I just cannot so hard

5. least favorite teacher?

Oh Will - he’s a disgrace to the profession.

6. least favorite couple?

I don’t know? Long term - Probably anything related to the Jarley/Ryder triangle - because it bored me to tears. Short term - Puck/Shelby - don’t get me started.

7. favorite duet?

Off the top of my head - Happy Days/Get Happy, it hits the warm place of my heart

8. favorite bromance?

Sam and Blaine, kinda by default. I wasn’t huge about the male friendships on the show.

9. favorite episode?

Oh c’mon, y’all know it’s New New York

10. favorite season?

This is actually hard - I think season 2 has my favorite bits, but season 5 is my favorite overall?

11. least favorite season?

Season 3 - continued to be shocked

12. favorite favorite episode?

Um, did we not just go over this?

13. favorite cast member?

Oh Chris, you know it’s Chris

14. funniest character?

Jane Lynch *lol

15. which character's clothes would you like?

EEsh, hard pass on most of them.

16. favorite competition episode?

Original Song - almost by default, I really can’t stand most of the competition episodes.

17. what episode can you watch over and over again?

Most of them, and I have ;) I like Love, Love, Love might be the most rewatchable though.

18. what character do you find the best looking?

I had to think... is it Kurt? Yeah, no, it’s definitely Kurt...

19. why did you start watching glee?

Okay, so I’ll tell this whole story...

So, ten years ago, I got a new job, and moved to a new city, and met a (seemingly) nice guy - with whom I went out with a few times and (unfortunately) it didn’t work out because I got dumped cause he wasn’t that great and still seeing his ex. Fun, right? Anyway - a friend of mine was like - I’m sorry you’re sad - watch this show! You like musicals and are okay with gay, you’ll like it!

So - she gave me the season 1 (part 1) dvd and I was like - yeah, that’s fun, but nothing about it grabbed me. Except DSB - that gave me chills. But then she insisted we watch it together every time it was on, and so we did... through, eh, half way through season 2?

And I was, like, nope, this show is just the worst - it’s mean spirited and mean and I am not really enjoying it. So I stopped. For about a year.

So a year-ish later, I got let go from a second job (that was fine - it was super shady and people got arrested, don’t do random online jobs guys) and had some free time, so decided to catch up on Glee and **gasp** watched The First Time and absolutely fell in love with Klaine. And then I rewatched the whole series and really appreciated it more the second time around.

And years later, I’m now sitting here with you people. Lol <3

20. how long have you watched glee?

March 2010

21. what scene or episode made you fall in love with the show?

The Auditorium scene from The First Time. It took my breath away, which hadn’t happened since I started watching The Office.

22. if you could wake up and be one of the characters for a day, who would you like to be?

Elliott Gilbert - he seems to have his life together.

23. what character would you most like to meet?

Cooper Anderson - I mean who wouldn’t?

24. favorite newbie character?

Unique in the original newbies, Jane of the second group

25. who would you be most want to be friends with?

Elliott Gilbert - he’d get my life together

26. if you could have a one night stand with any character, who would you choose?

Cooper. I mean there are some things in life you’d just have to go for. I’d imagine Santana would give you a pretty good time for a one night thing, too, though.

27. favorite fan fiction?

Probably, Misqueue’s Scenes from a Breakup. She really taught me the power of good fanfic.

28. favorite headcanon?

Hmm, this is so morbid, but the strongest one that comes to mind is that they both live to old age, but Blaine is the one who dies first, and Kurt’s kind of unbarable to be around afterwards, and I once wrote a tiny thing about this - how Kurt would get into fits and be nearly intolerable, but the seasoned nurses ask him to talk about Blaine, and it calms him down.

29. favorite person that has guest starred on glee?

Hmmm, based on their characters - Matt Bomer, Adam Lambert, or Sarah Jessica Parker. Oh and Katey Segal. I’m so sad that they didn’t bring her back.

30. favorite minor character?

I have a deep appreciate for Stoner Brett. Also Lord Tubbington

31. what character annoys you the most?

Ken Tanaka, uapoweifjodsifjeaw;oifh yuk. Also up there is Sandy Ryerson and JBI.

32. what surprised you the most?

I’m not sure what you mean?? Mostly that I’ve grown used to the idea of Blaine and Karofsky enough that I don’t hate it and I get why it was a thing.

33. which character resembles you the most?

Thought processing wise - Kurt. Though emotionally, maybe a bit of Blaine and Mercedes.

34. which character are you most connected to?

Kurt

35. 5 favorite quotes?

oh - god, i’m bad at remembering things off the top of my head --

My favorite one is: “let me autocorrect that for you. Lima doesn’t have a zoo, why’d we think it did?” the delivery on that is the best.

also the one where Jane Lynch goes on about giving Will a cat and punching him in the face.

And the Kurt line about answering the phone saying ‘she’s dead’.

36. an unpopular opinion you have about this show?

Oh, I have so many... mostly, season 2 isn’t as good as people claim it is, and season 6 is much better than people claim it is.

37. plot point you would've wanted to change, and how would you change it?

The biggest one for me is adding in a catalyst to Kurt’s story to head back to Blaine. Not so much change, but add to the already existing story.

I’d also get rid of the whole Shelby/Puck thing all together. Did not need to be a thing.

(Where are questions 38-39??)

40. what will you miss the most?

The week to week-ness of having discussions with people.

41. top 10 favorite songs each season?

Wow - this is a big question, time to get the iphone out...

Season 1:

Don’t Stop Believin’ (Pilot version)

Defying Gravity (Kurt version)

My Life Would Suck Without You

Run Joey Run (for comedic reasons)

Rose’s Turn

I Dreamed a Dream

Bad Romance

Bohemian Rhapsody

Don’t Stop Believin’ (Journey version)

Over the Rainbow

Season 2:

I Want to Hold Your Hand

Happy Days Are Here Again/Get Happy

Teenage Dream

Forget You (Don’t ask - I love it)

Baby, It’s Cold Outside

Misery

Blackbird

Raise Your Glass

Loser Like Me

As If We Never Said Goodbye

Season 3:

Something’s Coming

Last Friday Night

Hit Me With Your Best Shot/One Way or Another

Perfect

We Are Young

I Will Always Love You

Love Shack

How Will I Know

I Have Nothing

Not the Boy Next Door

Season 4:

Call Me Maybe

It’s Time

Teenage Dream (Acoustic)

The Scientist

Dark Side

Being Alive

This is the New Year

Just Can’t Get Enough

Come What May

Mamma Mia

Season 5:

All You Need is Love

Make You Feel My Love

Hold On

Defying Gravity

Loser Like Me

Don’t Stop Believin’

Rockstar

Pumpin’ Blood

All of Me

Pompeii

Season 6:

Home

Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow/Head Over Feet

Somebody Loves You

At Last

Listen To Your Heart

Popular

Some Day We’ll Be Together

Daydream Believer

This Time

I Lived

42. favorite new directions group cover?

I mean, Don’t Stop Believin’ is the ultimate classic - but I have a strong appreciation for Hold On.

43. favorite warbler cover?

Oh, god, Teenage Dream probably? But then Raise Your Glass

44. favorite vocal adrenaline cover?

Bohemian Rhapsody - nothing else really comes close.

46. favorite celebrity judge?

The Nun who used to be a stripper.

47. someone you would've liked to see guest star on the show.

Julie Andrews as Kurt’s grandmother.

48. favorite tribute episode?

The Beatles and Whitney Houston

49. what episode made you cry the most?

The Break Up - partly cause of the music, and partly because of the circumstances of fandom around that time :P

50 what episode made you laugh the most?

This show was a comedy? (I’ll have to think about it and get back to you)

#that was fun - your turn!

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eponymous-rose · 6 years

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Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E30 (August 14, 2018)

Note: Storms in my area tonight were messing with my internet, so I had a few brief outages to contend with!

Tonight’s guests are Laura Bailey and Travis Willingham AND THE TEENY BABY. Everyone is understandably distracted. Brian: “Let’s just show the baby for an hour.”

Announcements: Electric Beargaloo is up on CR’s YouTube, and a limited-run Honey Heist t-shirt is available on the store!

@critrolestats for this episode:

Fjord, Jester, and Yasha were missing for 6 days in-game (Laura and Travis were gone for 6 weeks out-of-game).

Jester’s cast Cure Wounds 38 times and Healing Word 6 times. Cure Wounds is her most-cast spell. Laura: “I am so happy about Taliesin making another healer. Me, personally. Inflict Wounds! Inflict Wounds! Inflict Wounds! Spiritual Weapon! Toll the Dead!” Travis: “That’s the mother of our child.”

Travis was definitely intending to distance himself from Grog with Fjord’s more sensitive character. A lot of Fjord’s backstory is based on things that happened in Travis’s own childhood, and while he’d normally want to keep those things protected, he was curious to see what it would feel like to share those with a character, and he’s already feeling a stronger sense of investment in that sense. Laura asks if he likes Fjord more than Grog. Travis: “I can’t really love anyone more than Grog right now, because Grog is bae.” Maybe in fifteen levels... He talks about how expectations shifted toward him in real life after he went through a growth spurt and came back to school as one of the tallest kids in his class: as a parallel to that, Fjord is being perceived as so handsome and charming and a leader after having had exactly the opposite experience through most of his life.

Jester does feel a bit abandoned by the Traveler. “This terrible thing happened, and nothing helped her in those dark moments when she was asking for him.” Laura doesn’t want to get into it too much, since it’ll come into play in the game. Is this the worst thing Jester’s ever experienced? Laura: “Well, yeah. Jester hasn’t done hardly anything.”

Jester doesn’t feel especially guilty, but “she wants everybody to be happy and wants to make other people happy, so in this situation where she’s the least happy she’s ever been, there’s an extreme desire to fix it.”

Emotional healing is much more important to Jester than physical healing.

Fjord didn’t really know how much he might’ve been worth to the rest of the Nein. He thought they might’ve come for Jester or Yasha, but not him. Travis: “Maybe not that far. Just from what he’d seen so far, he thought, ‘Nah, we’re lost, they’re not going to come for us. There’s so much they have to do.’”

Laura wanted to cast Sending (even if it was totally unhelpful), but Matt told her it wasn’t possible in her current situation: they knew how to deal with casters, and she wasn’t able to talk.

Gif of the Week: Jester dancing.

Laura was really bummed not to get to say goodbye to Kiri. They both wished they could’ve made it to the live show. They’re also super disappointed they didn’t get to play with Sumalee and Ashly.

Fjord’s “going to endeavor to keep trying to look out for everybody. He’s just hard on himself for a momentary lapse of perception. He’s going to be more motivated to take care of some shit.”

Laura and Travis realize that Fjord and Jester can both disguise themselves. Travis: “We could bone with anyone and anyone else! We can take suggestions.” Brian: “I’m thinking of some merch ideas.”

Taliesin sent Laura and Travis Caduceus’ art before anyone else. He checked in with Laura to make sure she was okay with another cleric, and she was really happy. Laura: “His domain is totally different from mine. A lot of times with Jester, I couldn’t do a lot of spells in the RP aspect of the game, because I had to save them for in case there was a battle we were playing. There are so many fun just-fuck-with-people spells she has.”

First impressions of Clay? Laura: “I love his hair.” Travis: “The dude abides. I didn’t even feel like an insight check was necessary. He just seemed so positive and nonplussed and go-with-the-flow. I think a little chillness was needed. If he freaks out and goes all rage monster, I will love him even more. He’s gonna eat people.”

Travis and Laura didn’t have any plans going in regarding their reactions to Molly. Laura: “I didn’t expect to get so emotional over it.” They were jumping in and out of watching episode 26, since they had a one-week-old baby at the time. Later in the night, they pulled the episode up and realized Taliesin wasn’t there... and found out from the chat what had happened. “We fucking go have one baby...” Laura: “Molly would still be alive if we were there. I feel like we would’ve told them to run.” Travis: “It was still a good plan, though, honestly. The dice just screwed them.”

Absorbing Summer’s Dance was “most definitely” Fjord’s tribute to Molly and wanting to get him vengeance. It was especially hard because they were roommates the entire time. “Fjord has never really had friends or companions, much less somebody you had to talk to every night before you crashed out. As crazy and different as Molly was from Fjord, he never judged Fjord.” Fjord’s last conversation with Molly was about how the ship exploded and what happened, and it was “the first time Fjord started to trust somebody with that shit, and he got fucking killed.”

Jester’s taking being a cleric much more seriously because she doesn’t want more friends to die, and she’s starting to understand the stakes of what she does. The cleric-related jealousy of Caduceus was a bit of bleed-through. Laura: “I need to remember that I’m the one that’s competitive and Jester is not. Because that definitely is my go-to.” Brian: “Yeah, you in real life are much closer to Vex than to Jester.”

Fanart of the Week: a great combat group-shot!

Both Jester and Fjord’s primary motivations have changed. Travis: “A little less seeking outside answers and knowledge to things that aren’t really going to help.” Laura: “Jester’s primary motivation of just wanting to bring joy has maybe increased even more. We’ll see how far that goes.” Travis really wants Jester to go dark. “See, now I’m sad that I made Jester happy. But I do think as we level up, Jester’s Spiritual Weapon should get more and more badass. A lollipop with spiky sugar on it or something. Rock candy mace.”

Fjord saw the Cloven Crystal reveal as just another sign of the universe telling him, “Fucking get after it, son.”

Matt gave them a five-minute summary of what went down right before the game, and then left it up to them to work out how they’d play it in-game.

Laura thinks the Gentleman’s bad news. Travis: “Oh, you think? He took fuckin’ samples of our blood.” Laura’s pretty sure he’s tied in with the slavers in some way, but Jester hasn’t got enough information to get suspicious in-game.

Fjord was genuinely impressed with Jester’s ability to---to him---sound upbeat even in captivity.

Fjord was starting to become comfortable that maybe the Nein looked to him for some sort of leadership, which he’d only had some brief experience with during his days on ships, but that took a pretty hard hit. Travis: “He’s encouraged to see Caleb as a team player and looking out for others, and that the first thing he tried to do was make us feel better. He expected a fair amount of, ‘You fucked up.’” Laura: “He was really, really nice.”

Laura reveals that Jester’s actually a cannibal serial killer. You... heard it here... first?

Fjord was surprised to see how much growth there was for Beau in the six days they were gone. “She seems mature, responsible. She didn’t punch any kids. It’s awesome.”

Jester thinks Yasha’s wings "look really badass”. She also doesn’t think anyone has as close a tie with their deity as she has with the Traveler (at least, before this recent uncertainty).

It’s tough for Fjord (but not so much Jester) knowing they can’t achieve revenge against Lorenzo, but they’re still hopeful for closure. Fjord would consider a good kill with Molly’s sword to be closure. Travis: “It’ll be taking care of the group, making sure something like that doesn’t happen again.” Jester: “I don’t know what will get it for Jester, honestly.”

Talks Machina: Are We Out Of Time Yet?

Ronin’s class? He’s very loud, so maybe a bard, but he has monk-like kicks. They think he might’ve been learning from Laura’s battle-heavy VO sessions in the womb.

Laura loved the “case closed” moment, even though when she first heard about it, her initial thought was “Nott closed a case without me!?!”

Travis was surprised that nobody else perked up at the description of the Cloven Crystal. Laura: “Nobody cares about your backstory but you.” Dani: “I care!” Travis: “THANK you, Dani!”

It was really hard for them to miss the first episode in the new studio, since it was such a milestone. They also hate that they missed the first PC death.

Sumalee got booked on a new TV show, and mentioned on Twitter that the first thing she got asked was what it was like to be on Critical Role.

They reminisce about Liam’s evil one-shot they played with Ashly and talk about how vicious Travis gets when he’s not on your side. Endgame for Fjord? Chaotic evil, clearly.

At Ren Faire a few years ago, Travis went missing from the group after some drinking. They eventually found him at a rare coin stand, and he showed off an old coin he’d just bought. Brian: “I’m like, ‘How much did it cost?’ And he just looked down.” Travis: “DON’T SAY THE NUMBER.” Brian: “The shame immediately kicked in.” Laura also dropped a dagger in a porta-potty. Brian: “The Ren Faire takes a toll.”

We fade out on Brian walking away while Laura and Travis sing ‘You’ll Be in My Heart’. As you do.

#long text post #critical role #critical role spoilers #talks machina #talks machina spoilers

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thatmetalbenderlinbeifong · 4 years

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@femslashfetale

1. Top turn on?

This is so hard because there are so many things that are a turn on. But I suppose a woman that can take control in the bedroom. Someone confident in their ability to make me submit.

2. Last time you had sex with the opposite gender?

Never

3. Last time you had sex with the same gender?

It’s honestly probably a few years.

4. Last time you masturbated?

Maybe a few weeks ago? I don’t actually remember.

5. What’s the weirdest thing that has turned you on?

I can’t really think of anything particularly weird. I suppose some people would consider elements of bdsm weird, but it’s not weird to me, so, I don’t know.

6. What’s the weirdest thing you’ve masturbated with?

I don’t think I’ve ever done it with anything weird, thankfully.

7. What’s the weirdest kind of porn you’ve watched?

Someone sent me on of those like wrestling porn videos and it just wasn’t my thing. That’s definitely the weirdest thing I’ve watched I think. At least in my opinion.

8. How often do you masturbate/have sex?

It depends. Sometimes I will multiple times a weeks. Sometimes I wont for months. It just depends.

9. Have you ever taken nude pictures?

I have, actually.

10. Dom or Sub?

Already answered this one.

11. Is pain a good thing?

Pain can be incredibly pleasurable. I think it’s a very good thing.

12. Do you like biting?

I don’t mind biting, but I prefer to be the one being bitten.

13. Do you like scratching?

Same with the biting, I don’t mind doing it, but I’d rather have it done to me.

14. Are you slightly horny right now?

Yes.

15. Are you very horny right now?

Not particularly.

16. Do you like face fucking?

Under certain circumstances.

17. 10 of your biggest turn ons?

Pain, bondage, submission, hands around my throat, name calling, praise, being bitten, being bent over something and dirty talk.

18. Do you cook naked?

Nope, never understood the appeal.

19. Do you like foreplay?

I love foreplay. I need it if I’m going to have a good time.

20. Have you had a vaginal orgasm?

I have not.

21. Do you like sex with women?

I love it.

22. Do you like sex with men?

Never had it, but considering I don’t like men, I’m gonna go with no.

23. Would you have sex with a trans* person?

Yes

24. Do you like your nipples played with?

I do. I actually have them pierced.

25. Do you like your lips bitten?

Yes, kiss me and tug on my bottom lip. That’s also a turn on.

26. Do you like to kiss with tongue?

I do.

27. How often do you masturbate?

Whenever the desire hits.

28. Have you masturbated while someone else was in the room?

No, haven’t done that.

29. Would you have sex with a married person?

Probably not, but I suppose it depends on the situation.

30. Would you have sex with a couple/multiple people?

Already answered this one.

31. Do you go outside naked?

Nope, sure don’t.

32. Do you like being woken up with sex?

I don’t mind it.

33. Do you give oral?

I do.

34. Would you let someone eat off of you?

Yeah, I don’t see why not. At the very least to give it a try.

35. What is the youngest/oldest you would sleep with?

I would say absolutely no younger than 22. And honestly, I am so hot for older women that I don’t know what I would say the oldest would be.

36. Do you like having drunk sex?

I’ve never actually been drunk so I wouldn’t know.

37. Do you enjoy wearing lingerie?

I do, when my partner makes me feel sexy wearing.

38. What is your favorite thing about sex?

The intimacy.

39. What is your favorite sexual setting?

I don’t know that I actually have a favorite.

40. Would you ever fool around in a movie theater?

Sure, if I thought we wouldn’t get caught. If no one was around us.

41. Would you ever make a porno with your bf/gf?

Maybe, it just depends.

42. Would you ever do a photo shoot in sexy clothes for your bf/gf?

I absolutely would.

43. Do you like it rough or sensual?:

Both, but admittedly, I prefer it rough.

44. Do you prefer to be with the opposite sex or the same sex? or both?

Same.

45. How often do you get drunk and have wild, crazy sexy with a complete stranger?

Never, like I said, I’ve never actually been drunk.

46. How do you feel about one night stands?

I don’t mind them, but I don’t think it’s something I could do.

47. Do you prefer to make love or fuck?

Both, it’s the same with sensual or rough.

48. Have you ever watched porn while having sex?

I don’t think so, but I’m not opposed to it or anything.

49. How long do you usually fore-play before doing the deed?

It depends on my mood honestly. But a decent amount of time.

50. Do you like kissing during sex?

Yes, I love kissing in general and it’s just heightened during sex.

51. Does size matter?

Not particularly I don’t think.

52. How many sexual partners have you have in the last month?

None, tragically.

53. What does your favorite foreplay include?

Kissing and biting my neck. I’m super sensitive there.

54. Have you ever done anal? If so, did you like it?

I haven’t with a partner. But I’ve experimented on my own, and yeah, I’d say I do.

56. Do you ever worry about how you’re pleasing your partner?

All the time during sex.

57. Could you live without sex?

I could I suppose. I’d prefer not to but it is what it is.

58. How long does a typical sexual episode last for you?

There’s a lot of variables that go into that. Don’t know that I can say for sure.

59. Do you like to perform oral sex?

I do, a lot.

60. Do you like to receive oral sex?

Yes

61. Have you ever taped yourself in the act?

Not during sex, but I have when masturbating before. Something to send to my girlfriend at the time.

62. Have you ever had a 3-some? 4-some? 5-some?

I have not, but I wouldn’t be opposed to a 3-some. Actually, its something I’d like to do at some point.

63. Have you ever been caught in the act?

No, thank god.

64. Have you ever had sex while on drugs?

Nope.

65. Would you let other people watch you have sex live?

Maybe, it’s something I’ve contemplated.

66. Do you ever have sex in the shower?

I’ve never done it, but I’m down for trying.

67. What was the biggest age difference with a partner?

I think it’s only been a year or so? I don’t know, I don’t remember. But not very much.

68. Do you feel your up to par in bed?

I’d like to think so.

69. What was your most embarrassing sexual moments?

Thankfully I can’t think of anything particularly embarrassing.

70. Do you like having sex in cars? If so, driver seat, passenger, or back?

Never done it in a car, but again, I wouldn’t be opposed to giving it a shot.

71. Do you wear protection as often as you should?

72. Do you prefer to sleep with someone older or younger than you?

I don’t mind either, but like I said earlier, I absolutely have the hots for older women so…yeah

73. Have you ever done bondage sex (chains ,whips, etc.)?

I have, with rope. Nothing elaborate yet, but I enjoy it.

74. Can you remember who gave you the best sex of your life?

I haven’t had the best sex of my life yet. So, no.

75. If you could sleep with ANYONE, who would it be?

I don’t like answering things like this because I’m demi so I have to have a really strong emotional connection with the person before actually having sex with them. So I don’t really have like a “celebrity list” or anything like that.

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dxmedstudent · 5 years

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Weird Asks that Say a Lot Meme...

My friend the wonderful @meanwhileonwednesday suggested I fill out Every even number for the 'weird asks that say a lot', so here I am. Thanks, friend! XD

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

Chocolates.

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

At my first school? Artistically talented and perceptive (one teacher was very vividly impressed by my grasp of duck anatomy at like 5 years old). Then there’s the teacher at my new school who thought I had special needs because I was withdrawn (I was being bullied by most of the class, really); she was a new teacher and not really equipped to deal with that. By the end of primary school, I went back to being commended on my work ethic and smarts and artistic ability.

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

Hmmm I think my work clothes are mostly a formal/preppy mix. With a little bit of boho thrown in, particularly when I’m at home.

8. movies or tv shows?

I prefer movies, because they represent a lot less commitment (America, please stop giving everything like 17 seasons, I beg of you!), however TV show episodes are shorter and easier to slot into your life than a full movie.

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

I was generally awful in PE. I liked benchball, can’t say that I was good in it, being yet another game where being short doesn’t do you any favours.

12. name of your favorite playlist?

Either my Kickass playlist, or my Reflective playlist.

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

Starburst.

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

Curled up, on my side, in a nice big armchair with my legs hanging off the side. Surrounded by pillows, and probably a cat or two.

18. ideal weather?

Picture this: it’s a sunny day; warm but not too hot. Maybe around 24 degrees celsius. There’s a warm breeze; it’s not stifling, and it’s not cold enough to make you shiver. The trees rustle with the sound of the wind; change is in the air. You can go out in short sleeves, perhaps with the thinnest of cardigans if like me your metabolism basically died 300 years ago.

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

Depends on what I’m writing. I am the kind of ineffectual person who starts to write tings in a notebook, but also a couple of word docs. I have post- it notes for important things. I document ideas for my comic in a note/sketch book. I love doodling in my sketchbooks.

22. role model?

I never really had one, growing up. I guess the closest I’d get is David Attenborough.

24. favorite crystal?

My birthstone is ruby (which is red; my favourite colour!) however I also love opals; I love their irdescent (OK, opalescent, technically) sparkliness and the way they shimmer with lots of colours. I don’t see why everyone prefers massive diamonds when opals are like... so much cooler. I I don’t actually own any, but maybe one day I’ll be able to buy myself a nice one.

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

Go for a nice long walk, take lots of pictures, have a picnic in the park. No, I lie, my favourite activity is roping someone I care about into doing it all with me, and having even more fun.

28. five songs to describe you?

Home - Ellie Goulding Fight Song - Rachel Platten Working Woman’s Blues - Valerie June Alive - Bird Set Free My Medea - Vienna Teng

30. places that you find sacred?

Already been answered.

32. top five favorite vines?

Alas, hard to name off the top of my head. I mainly know vines from various compilations.

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

Right now? Thankfully none of them.

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

That’s impossible to say! Memes were a thing before internet memes became a thing. I’d say that ‘S’ shape we all drew in primary school? Nursery rhymes? Who knows.

38. lemonade or tea?

They don’t usually compete for my love, but i have tea more often than lemonade, purely due to availability reasons.

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

Some students climbed onto the roof.

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

Honestly? Skirt pockets. But being a woman, jacket pockets are usually woefully ineffectual and small. Trouser pockets are a bit better, but again usually small. Whereas if someone puts pockets on a skirt, they make sure they are actually proper pockets!

44. favorite scent for soap?

Maybe honey, or roses, or jasmine.

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

A baggy pair of PJs; I’m a dress for comfort kind of girl. Particularly since the places I’ve lived haven’t always been great in the heating department. I’ve been known to sleep in a hoodie when it gets cold.

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

I would like to be a berry, or maybe an apple. Something pinkish red. Sweet, and a little sharp.

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

Probably my little brother astounding me with how grown-up he is about things. He’s pretty awesome. Or my mum just saying something wildly, hilariously inappropriate XD

52. favorite font?

I love the Komika font family for my comic. I used to use Bookman Old Style, Book Antiqa, Georgia or classic Arial for essays and things like that, when they didn’t specify Times New Roman.

54. what did you learn from your first job?

Always call the med reg if you are stuck, be nice to the nurses and always help each other. OK, I did lots of volunteering in hospital before FY1. In which case my

56. favorite tradition?

My family/culture have a specific tradition on the morning of an exam/interview/life event where you fill a cup with water and a couple of plant leaves (Slavs love putting greenery into everything). You place it at the threshold, and give it a good kick it with your dominant foot. It symbolises your knowledge flowing, and I guess it’s a good luck charm.. You also aren’t meant to look back (literally); because you should be focusing on the task at hand. As a kid it was a comforting good luck ritual, and I don’t think I ever really grew out of it.

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

I’m proud of my artistic skills, modest though they are. I enjoy creating, and I enjoy that I can make things to cheer up my friends, or things that people here can relate to.

By extension, I’m good with my hands, and that usually translates to picking up procedures and things like that pretty quickly at work. And yes, I love being able to get that cannula in (especially if it’s on the first go!) when nobody else can. It’s a tiny, tiny thing, but it sparks a little joy. I can develop good rapports with people; which means I can help them to confide their problems, and can help them to feel better or to address things that are bothering them. It’s really mostly about listening and not being judgemental. I am proud that I can sometimes make people feel better, and feel listened to. I’m proud that I learned to try to work through my feelings. As a young person who was really quite stressed, I somehow learned how to apply what’s basically CBT to keep myself relatively sane, and I think it’s helped me a lot. It was only much later that I realised it was basically CBT when I was comparing notes with friends actually going through those kinds of therapies. I’m not perfect at it, and my mind tests me on a regular basis, but it helps.

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

I don’t know what I’d like to be in? Maybe a Ghibli film. I think I’d like that. When I was at school, a close friend of mine just turned around and said “OMG, you’re just like an anime character”, to fervent agreement from my peers. I guess they meant one of those chirpy, ditzy shojo anime characters. I can still see myself as some shojo series heroine; frantically trying to keep it together under the pressures of magical girldom, being romantically inept, trying to fight off the baddie of the week whilst learning lessons about getting along with each other, being helpful and not being mean.

62. seven characters you relate to?

Right now? Sophie from Howl’s moving castle, Princess Carolyn from Bojack Horseman, Miranda Otto from D. Gray-Man, Elinor Dashwood from Sense and Sensibility, The Red Blood Cell from Cells at Work, Kiki from Kiki’s delivery service, and Aggressive Retsuko.

64. favorite website from your childhood?

I used to love looking at other people’s art on Elfwood or Deviantart.

66. favorite flower(s)?

Today I’m feeling the answer is lilacs.

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

Ugh anything bitter.

70. left or right handed?

I’m ridiculously right handed, but I’ve learned to use my left hand more effectively because of procedures etc. I’m really good with my hands, but my right hand takes over like 80% of the work.

72. worst subject?

PE in school, biochemistry at university.

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

At home, maybe a 3, because I don’t see the point in suffering needlessly. However at work I’ll do whatever it takes to keep functional including taking pain relief before it gets bad because I don’t want to have to deal with pain and an on-call. I’m not sure if the scale is logarithmic? I’d rate the worst pain that I’ve had 5 ot a 6, and that made me vomit and curl up into a ball and basically unable to do anything. But I can imagine pain that’s much, much worse than that was, so perhaps I just can’t thin

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

This kind of new potato salad my mum makes with onions. Raw onions are totally a trigger food for my IBS, and any time my mum feeds me anything full of onions, she’ll tell me I can take them out if they upset my tummy. And every single time I’ll pile even more onions into my plate because there’s no way I’m letting my gut dictate my life. Turns out, I’m even more stubborn than my IBS; I just don’t want to give up some of the foods that set things off. My GP once recommended a FODMAP diet, and having had a look at all the stuff I’d have to cut, I resolved I’d only start cutting things if my symptoms got really bad.

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

Honestly, I have no pretentions to snobbery. The best coffee is the one you get when you are about to collapse on a night shift, even if much, much better coffee exists in the world. And the best sushi is the plain supermarket one you get between on-calls to treat yourself, even if the one from a good restaurat is so much nicer.

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

I wear a lot of jewel tones, but I also wear a lot of earth tones, and I don’t really see them as being in competition. Rock all the colours!

82. pc or console?

Phone. XD I don’t play much on either, mainly due to time. Phone has the benefit of being in my pocket when I’m at a loose end on the bus, or at my parents’. I don’t sit down and make time to play, I play games in the stolen minutes here and there when I don’t have much to do.

84. podcasts or talk radio?

Classical music radio in the office (because it’s the most neutral), retro stations in the car (or whatever your guests would like), and podcasts at home when you are by yourself.

84. barbie or polly pocket?

I didn’t have a real Barbie (fairly sure ours were knockoff dolls) but I do have fond memories of making outfits for our toys. Though our favourites were always various little animal models who got into all sorts of adventures.

86. cookies or cupcakes?

Cookies, but it’s a close call. Really, I’d have to say biscuits, since I eat those more often than either of the above.

88. your greatest wish?

For myself? To be happy. For others? Ditto.

90. luckiest mistake?

Getting into my first degree. Feels like I fell into it, but it set me off on a great path, and I don’t regret that my initial path was far from straightforward.

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

All of the above.

94. favorite season?

That kind of Spring-Summer interface when all the plants are in bloom, and the weather is warm but not too hot, and the days are long.

96. desktop background?

Arietty’s bedroom from the Ghibli Borrowers film adaptation. I’m a sucker for ghibli aesthetic; usually because my rooms end up similarly haphazardly adorned with cool things.

98. favorite historical era?

Every era has its own awesomeness. I feel very fondly for the regency period because of all the books I’ve read set in it, likewise the Victorian period. Though both aren’t without their problems. I realised that I style my hair like a Victorian; centrally parted with a neat, low bun at the nape of the neck. XD

I think that might be all the questions! Phew!

#ask meme #personal #my life #askdx #ask dx

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bees-for-the-wildmother · 5 years

Text

The 100 Ask Game

I was tagged by the wonderful @thehundredtimesobsessed forever ago (or what feels like it, but I’m finally getting around to it today.

1. What Station on the Ark would you be from?

Probably Agro. My mom’s side of the family definitely has a green thumb.

2. What would you get arrested for on the Ark?

Umm...theft?

3. Would you take off your wristband when you landed on the ground?

No. No, I would not.

4. What would the Necklace Finn would make for you look like? (Clarke: deer/Raven: a raven duh…)

DRAGON! Dragons are my favorite. Followed by red pandas, but I feel like a dragon would be better (I already own a few dragon necklaces).

5. If you could resurrect any MINOR character who would it be?

Roan kom Azgeda - I miss him. <<< Same. Possibly Wells, but I became much more attached to Roan (probably because he had more episodes)

6. Create a squad by of 5 characters to go on missions with. Who are they?

Bellamy, Clarke, Raven, Monty, and Murphy. (This was basically pick your five favorite characters for me...)

7. What Grounder Clan would you belong to?

Podakru - the Lake People...I’m just going on that based on where I live, i.e. a place where there are lakes

8. What would your name be in Trigedasleng? (example: Octavia=Okteivia…just make it up!)

Shilbi, I think that’s what they’d do with it. I literally looked up to see if they even had a “sh” sound in their language; right when I was about to lose hope and resigning myself to “Silbi” or the like, I found a phrase with “sh”.

9. Thoughts on Finn? Some people hate him, and others love him, so I’m curious

I didn’t like him from the beginning. I didn’t hate him initially, but he got two people killed yet survived his own idiocy or taking off his seat belt. I thought he was going to be a detriment to their survival because he would take stupid unnecessary risks to show off.

10. Be honest. How willing would you have been to take the chip without knowing all the horrible things it does?

Probably not. My dad yells and me and my mom because we always need answers to motivations and the why of things. I don’t think I would put something in my body without fully knowing what it is and the ramifications of taking it.

11. What character do you relate to most?

I want to say Harper, but also some Clarke. In Harper, I see a lot of the traits I like about myself; in Clarke, I see a lot of the traits I don’t like about myself.

12. What character do you like the least?

This is difficult...I feel like it’s a cop out to say one of the villains of the show, but it’d probably be Cage Wallace. I don’t know who it’d be out of the people who are still alive.

13. Describe your delinquent outfit. (Would you wear something like Murphy’s jacket with the spikey red shoulder patch or have a trademark like Jasper’s goggles? Be creative, yet practical)

Charcoal grey jeans with a forest green v-neck t-shirt that has those criss-crossed strips of fabric, a dark brown leather jacket, and brown combat boots.

14. Favorite type of mutant animal?

...I don’t know...a mutant fox?

15. What would your job be on the Ark?

Probably like historian, archives, or teacher or something (based on my real life career path).

16. Would you have willingly pumped Ontari’s heart if Abby asked?

Yeah, I’d do what I have to. Probably would be admiring the ceiling as I did it, but I’d do it.

17. If Lexa wasn’t Heda, but she was still alive then who would have made the best commander?

I don’t know. I feel like it there was a more ruthless, battle ready heda, the 100 (and the rest of the Ark) would have been in a worse position.

Wait! An answer came to me when I was looking at question twenty: Lincoln! My friend and I liked to joke that Lincoln was one of the few characters with a head on his shoulders and realistic ideas and expectations for relations.

18. How would you act if you ate the hallucinogenic nuts like Jasper and Monty?

I’d probably just be giggling, at EVERYTHING.

19. How would you have dealt with Charlotte’s crime? A more John Murphy approach or Bellamy Blake approach?

Definitely a more Bellamy Blake approach.

20. Who should have been the Chancellor, if anyone?

Monty. Monty is another character who had a good head on his shoulders.

21. Would you have been on Pike’s side like Bellamy or on Kane’s side? Or Clarke in Polis?

Kane’s side. No question.

22. Mount Weather had a lot of modern commodities. (example: Maya’s Ipod) What is the one thing you would snatch while there?

Maybe a kindle if they had that. They probably would have different books than the Ark had, or the grounders. Give me all the books.

23. What would your Grounder tattoos look like? Hairstyle? War paint?

Probably a couple tribal tattoos on my arms, maybe connecting with something spanning my shoulders and upper back. Definitely ALL the braids; I already wear braids in my hair a lot, but I think they would just get more intricate for the grounder style. Some nice, swirling black warpaint around my eyes when I have to go to battle.

24. Favorite quote?

For someone who regularly collects quotes (though usually from books), I don’t actually have one. But a quick internet search and choosing quickly, I’ll say a favorite is, “I say, screw fear. I’m telling my own damn story.” (Bellamy Blake, 1.13). It reminds me a little of my one of my favorite song lyrics, “I’m the hero of the story; don’t need to be saved,” from “Hero” by Regina Spektor, which is actually a pretty decent song for the show.

25. If all of the characters were in the Hunger Games, who would have the best shot at winning?

I’m gonna go with Clarke. She’s smart and tactical and she does what she has to do. But if it came down to a straight up fight, probably Luna; she’d have the knowledge to survive the land and the talent to survive the fight.

26. Least favorite ship? Favorite canon ship? Favorite non canon ship? NOT INCLUDING CL OR BC OR BE

Miller/Jackson - It just came out of nowhere, with no build up, and I like to see how things unfold, especially relationships, and so I’m being stubborn about them trying to tell me it’s a thing. Zaven - All I wanted was for Raven to finally find someone who could make her happy and show her what she could should have. So, yeah, I’m in denial and not the happiest person right now. (I haven’t even watched the new season yet--I know, I know, I’m a horrible fan, but I was sick and then busy catching up on life--and this is something that got spoiled for me even though I’ve been trying to avoid tumblr for a week; I blame Critical Role for encouraging me to go on Tumblr last Thursday) Minty - I found the ship in fanfiction and jumped on board quickly and happily.

27. A song that should be included in the next season? If there had to be another guest star like Shawn Mendes on the show, who would you want to make a cameo?

I’m going with the song that I actually used as a title to one of my fanfics, “Heathens” by Twenty One Pilots. (I also just am bad at knowing songs, so this I’ll stick with what I already know fits with the story)

Celebrities, another of my knowledge downfalls--seriously, if you ever want a guaranteed win in a trivia game against me, go with Pop Culture as the topic.

28. What would you do if you were stuck in the bunker with Murphy for all that time?

Play card games? Drink? There wasn’t a whole lot to do.

29. Your an extra that gets killed off. How do you die?

You wouldn’t actually see me die, I’d just be one of the bodies bloody and lying on the ground.

30. A character you’d like to learn more about and get flashbacks of?

I think it’s actually Echo and/or Emori, both would be best; I’m curious about everyday life on the ground before the timeline of the show.

31. A character you’d bang?

Can I say all of them? If I have to select someone I‘d choose Bellamy, Clarke, Raven, or Roan. Basically the same answer as Toni. Ooo, I’m adding Lincoln to the list, too.

32. Would you stay in the Bunker? Go up to Space? Or live on your own in Eden?

Assuming I could survive it (nightblood), Eden. I need my green and I don’t mind being alone, though I’d probably still talk to the radio or the animals or plants.

33. In the Bunker, would you follow Octavia? What would you do to pass the time underground?

Yup. I’m a follower. Read, draw, think up stories.

34. What crime would you commit in the Bunker that lands you in the fighting pits?

These questions keep asking me questions with the assumption that I am not Lawful Good down to my core. I have no idea what law/rule I would willfully break and what the circumstances would have to be for me to do it.

35. Up in Space, who would you bond with first? Who would be the most difficult for you to get along with?

Harper, no doubt about it. Probably more so Murphy wouldn’t get along with me. He’d catch me making a face at something he said, and I didn’t honestly mean anything by it, my face just reacts, and he’d hold a grudge against me for a while.

36. How long do you think you would last on Earth by yourself?

If I had survival skills (know what to eat, how to find it, etc.) probably a long time. If I tried it at this exact moment, not very long at all.

37. When the Eligius ship lands what do you do?

Run, hide, observe, freak out. I don’t know.

38. Favorite Eligius character? Least favorite?

Shaw. (Why must all the good ones go?) Vinson, he was creepy AF.

39. Would you Spacewalk?

Assuming I could do it when it wasn’t illegal, yeah!

40. Would you prefer to eat Windshield Bugs, Space Algae, or Bunker Meat?

Windshield bugs. I was about to say Space Algae, but then I thought about the texture it’d be, and I’m pretty sure it’d be the texture that makes me gag when I try to eat it.

41. Would you start a war for the last spot of green on earth? What would your solution be to avoid it?

Yeah no, I don’t want to go to war. I would try to work out a way to share it.

42. Would you rather dig out flesh-eating worms or stick thumb drives into bullet holes?

I think I’d stick a thumb drive into a bullet hole. The first is turning my stomach to think about, but somehow the second isn’t doing the same.

43. Are you willing to poison your sister for the Traitor Who You Love? What would you do to stop Octavia?

Gut reaction against it, but that’s because I love my sister and she’s the sweetest. But if she did what Octavia did and had that personality, probably, as long as I knew she wouldn’t be killed by it. What they did seemed to work...?

44. Would you go to sleep in cryo or stay awake like Marper?

Sleep in cryo.

45. Who are you waking up first to explore the new planet?

Clarke and Bellamy, Raven and Shaw, Murphy and Miller. <<Same, probably Emori too, she’s resourceful.

I’m not gonna tag anyone because chances are they already did this while I’ve been avoiding Tumblr and so I missed their answers. But if anyone hasn’t done this and wants to, please tag me in your post! I want to see what other people have to say!

#the 100 #tag game #I'm such an awful fan for not watching the new season yet #I feel guilty about it #and I don't know if I'll be able to get the first episode done before the second one tonight #I already spoiled Shaw for myself #which devastated me #i was so so so excited for Raven to have someone after all she's been through #every episode and season for the pas few seasons I had two mantras #stop shirting on Monty #and stop shirting on Raven #I guess I got one of those because Monty got a happy ending #but first Finn being a dirtbag #then Wick disappearing off the face of the planet #and now this?#why?!?!#It almost makes me want to not watch #which is kind of where I guess I was always at #if I don't watch I can write my own happy ending for all of them in my brain #but if I watch I have to accept whatever trials and fates the writers give them

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