#It's 1:30am and life is chaos

[queenie-ofthe-void]

“Led Zeppelin? Never heard of them,” Steve lies, like a liar. Of course he’s heard of them, thinks maybe Hop’s mentioned them before. Doesn’t really know the band well, and probably definitely couldn’t name a song. But the comment serves its purpose, and the trap is set.

Eddie calls it the Zep Campaign. Every day they’ll listen to one album, and Steve will pick his favorite song from each. Eight days for eight albums. On the last day, they’ll narrow it down to one song to rule them all– because apparently even Led Zeppelin likes the Mordor books Dustin doesn’t shut up about. 

Each day, Steve struggles to pick a favorite. Day four isn’t bad– doesn’t mind a song that is actually called Rock and Roll, which is just a lazy title in his opinion– but they’re only half way through and the songs are all starting to sound the same. An endless stream of too-fast guitar melodies and weird, wobbly sounds he’s sure he’s never heard before. The vocals are his favorite part, but the lyrics are vague and confusing.

Long story short, he’s not a fan.

But this growing thing between him and this ridiculous metalhead is new, fragile. So if it’s important to Eddie, it’s important to Steve. 

“Stevie, we really don’t have to keep doing this,” Eddie concedes. It’s day eight, the final album, and he thinks even Eddie might be desperate to listen to something different. “You’ve listened to every other album and honestly this one is the worst. They were all on drugs, and this isn’t even their sound ya know? Like it’s not even real metal.”

And honestly, Steve does know. He’s been listening to this band for eight days and yeah, all the songs sound the same. But these ones are different. Softer. He’s made it this far, and he’s nothing if not persistent for the people he loves.

Sprawled out on the floor next to the boy he likes, passing a fading joint back and forth, he thinks he can suffer a bit longer. 

“No Eds come on, we’re halfway through anyways. Just flip it over and we’ll smoke while we finish.” Eddie huffs a sigh, but Steve can see the slight uptick of his lips, reminding him of why he’s doing this. He flips the record and crawls back, presses himself flush up against Steve’s side.

The next song is long, too long to keep his attention. They burn down their joint and Steve leans heavily onto Eddie’s open chest. He gets lost staring at the vinyl art. A guy dressed in a fancy white suit sits alone in a dive bar, the only splash of color against a dull background. The bartender looks gruff, like the rest of the bar, making the man stand out even more. He wonders if that’s how he looks posted up at the Hideout during Eddie’s shows. Wonders if he looks just as out of place in Eddie’s life as this man does, even though he looks comfortable there too. 

Eddie shifts his arms around Steve, bringing him back to the present. The song has changed and Steve feels the slow melody wash over him.

“Wait,” Steve cries out, flailing up and out of Eddie’s arms as he registers the new song. It’s soft with a steady beat. It’s got synth-- the sound Eddie told him he likes in pop music. This song isn’t loud and chaotic like the rest. The voice is soothing and the lyrics are mostly simple enough. It’s different, and he can’t believe it but–

All of my love, all of my love

all of my love to you, oh

“This one. I like this song. Like actually like it.”

Eddie sits up and stares at him. He can see the dramatic shock and annoyance on Eddie’s face. But it’s doing nothing to hide his broad smile and shining eyes. 

“Steven. Stevie. Baby, sweetheart, this absolutely cannot be your favorite Zeppelin song. Out of all the songs on all the albums and all the hours of poetic melodies I’ve forced upon you, you choose the most non-Zep Zeppelin song.” Steve laughs sweetly as he watches Eddie fail to keep the glee out of his supposedly annoyed voice.

The cup is raised, the toast is made yet again

One voice is clear above the din

“This song isn’t even metall!" Eddie screeches. He rants and raves, waiving his arms as he regales Steve with all of the reasons he should absolutely not like this one particular song. He's shining with happiness, dial turned up to a hundred and it's all aimed at Steve. He can't help but to gaze back fondly, enraptured in the adorably obnoxious spectacle.

"It’s all synth, almost no guitar because Page didn’t even write this one! He wrote all of them except two songs, Stevie, and of course that’s the one you chose. No one who knows good music even likes this album. It’s not even metal music and honestly I almost didn’t show it to you, that’s how bad it is!” They're both giggling, leaning falling slowly into the other's space. Facing one another, their feet tangled together, Steve twists and pulls on Eddie's rings. Just to touch.

“Well, maybe that’s why I like it,” Steve snarks, taking his hand. “Plus it’s a love song.” Daring to reach out.

All of my love, all of my love, yes

All of my love to you

Eddie’s smile dims a bit, softens at the edges as he grows serious. “It’s not a love song Stevie, not like that.” He’s looking at Steve but he isn’t. Looking past him into the back of his thoughts. “The lead singer, he wrote it for his son. His kid died of some kind of bad illness while he was on tour. Didn’t make it back in time.”

He pauses, and Steve waits. Knows Eddie has more to say, hoping his patience will pay off. Eddie’s sight refocuses and he heaves a heavy sigh. His eyes glisten as they lock onto Steve.  

“My mom used to sing it all the time. While she was cooking, or putting me to bed, or pulling weeds in the garden. She’d sing it constantly. Hell, she didn’t even know all the words, but she’d still try and sing the interludes– ya know, the music between the lyrics.” He laughs lightly, a stray tear just barely hanging on. Steve tightens his grip around Eddie’s hands and presses a kiss to his knuckles. A silent sign of gentle support and encouragement. 

“Sounds like a love song to me,” Steve whispers. Leaning forward, he presses a kiss to his forehead and pulls Eddie into a tight hug. 

All of my love, all of my love, to you now

“A love song just for you, from both of us.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I've always headcanoned that Eddie loves Led Zeppelin, because he plays guitar and loves metal and reads Lord of the Rings so of course he would.

#It's 1:30am and life is chaos #I wrote this in two hours after i spent all day at work hyperfixating on one of my favorite bands #This is all wikipedia so if something's wrong no it isn't i'm too fragile for corrections #if you see typos no you didn't #ramble on is eddie's vecna song #change my mind #steddie #steddie fic #steddie ficlet #eddie munson #steve harrington #led zeppelin #eddie munson headcanon #steddie headcanon #QueenieWritesStories

[brainrotarchive]

Where was I on November 5th 2020? I honestly don’t know but I remember the early morning hours of November 6th 2020. I was at home, peacefully sleeping and probably skipping classes. And I woke up to check my phone and was confronted with a string of messages that would change me forever. At this time I haven’t been actively watching supernatural since the beginning of season 14 because I was going through some shit and it’s not a good show, let’s be honest. And on that faithful morning my friend- the same friend that had told me years earlier to check out this really cool monster hunter show and accidentally introduced me to the worst brain rot inducing shit I’ve ever seen- texted me as followed (roughly translated):

8:30am: uhm

8:30am: what’s happening on tumblr destiel is canon?

8:31am: well cas said he’s totally in love with dean or smth

8:32am: that’s wild

8:32am: how many seasons were there? 11?

and then I woke up and replied, still very composed and confused (I think she stopped watching after season 8)

8:58am: no idea wtf

8:58m: yea I just googled

8:59am: apparently cas confessed his love

then it slowly started to sink in

8:59am: I WOKE UP A MINUTE AGO FR

8:59am: WHAT

I suppressed most of my memories of my thoughts and feelings in that moment but luckily I sent a voice message and explained it to her. I think I was crying??? Maybe I was just sick and tired. Anyways, I googled what’s going on and read a news article about what happened and how they immediately killed cas and I was devastated without having seen the episode at all. I remember my whole mind being occupied that day with nothing but my 15 yo biggest dream coming true in the worst possible way. I wasn’t on tumblr much during that time but the chaos was so present even in my real life that day. It’s safe to say that Cas’ love confession kicked a screw loose in my brain and I haven’t been fully sane since.

In the days that followed I watched the speculations about the last two episodes of the show with anticipation and hope on tiktok. And when the finale came out I had caught up with all the episodes I haven’t seen yet. I remember sobbing when I watched Cas’ confession and when I watched the finale I was so deeply disturbed by how awful it was I couldn’t even feel sad about Dean (one of my favorite characters ever created). All I could do was stare at the screen in shock and disappointment. The rest is history: Dean reciprocated his feelings but only in Spanish, I made an ao3 account to somehow cope with my feelings of rage and need for gay happy love and fix-it fics, I got sucked back into the brain rot at full force and even created an epic powerpoint to share my insanity with my poor innocent friends, Biden won the election.

On December 14th 2020 I texted my dearest friend @awhora and it’s still true to this day:

1:54am: I haven’t had a good night of sleep since destiel went canon for the first time

There’ll be no peace when you are done.

#please share your stories so I don’t have to feel like a loser #nothing but clownery over here #nov 5th #destiel #supernatural #spn #castiel #tumblr history

[arcsin27]

hi idk if anyone else answered ? or if you actually wanted a run through of the lyrics/one interpretation so feel free to ignore but:

this aint a scene: first phrase is a play on the fact theyre not stealing from you (taking ur trash at night) theyre making you admire (painting gold) subconsciously by listening to them (as you sleep). the crashing bit is like, we're not stuble about it we're crashing - not a disaster kind of crash, like car crash or broken hips, but a fun kind of chaos (crashing a party)

kids arent alright: fall to your knees bring on the rapture is likening this feeling/tragedy/loss to being raptured/the apocolypse. blessed be bit is . idk how to phrase this. people from your past who were Too Much to be contained? like a photograph or a film doesnt do them justice but they're still memorable? (idk tbh this line confuses me haha) . i always fall from your window to me is like i want to be let back into your life but i always fall away from you again and again.

jet pack blues: (ive never been a big fan of this one tbh so i havent listened as much? so my take is gonna b a little more vague). make june feel like september is saying this thing/relationship is instead of making me feel hopeful about our future i feel like the good part (summer) is already over and im looking at the end of smth instead or the start. peace of mind/behind highway lines is just going for a drive to clear your head . city goes silent/get violent is like with no distractions im reminded of the anger/grief/emotions im trying to run from

sorry for any typos or things badly written its 1:30am,,, again this is just how im reading it you might vibe w the songs differently and therefore see completely different feelings in each line. thats the fun of it! hope this helped and if it didnt . pretend this wasnt sent ig haha

no no i dont wanna ignore it its really cool thank you!

#fall out boy #answered ask #fob

[laresearchette]

Sunday, September 10, 2023 Canadian TV Listings (Times Eastern)

WHERE CAN I FIND THOSE PREMIERES?: DREAMING WHILST BLACK (CBC Gem) THE MASKED SINGER (CTV2) 8:00pm-ish THE WALKING DEAD: DARYL DIXON (AMC Canada) 9:00pm NO RESPONDERS LEFT BEHIND (CNN) 9:00pm RIDE WITH NORMAN REEDUS (AMC Canada) 10:00pm

NEW TO AMAZON PRIME CANADA/CBC GEM/CRAVE TV/DISNEY + STAR/NETFLIX CANADA:

CRAVE TV THE WINTER KING (episodes 1-2)

FIBA BASKETBALL WORLD CUP (SN) 4:00am: Bronze Medal Game - USA vs. Canada (!!!) (SN) 8:30am: Championship Final - Germany vs. Serbia

IT’S A BEAUTIFUL WORLD (Cottage Life) 10:00am: Jeff Fuchs goes on a journey to Colombia to discover the beauty of sustainable tourism in the Amazon; eco-tourism at the Calanoa Jungle Lodge, a community endeavor that puts community and environment first.

US OPEN TENNIS (TSN) 1:00pm: Women’s Doubles Final (TSN/TSN4) 4:00pm: Men’s Final

NFL FOOTBALL (TSN3) 1:00pm: Buccaneers vs. Vikings (TSN3) 4:00pm: Packers vs. Bears (TSN/TSN3/TSN4/TSN5) 8:20pm: Cowboys vs. Giants

WNBA BASKETBALL (SN360) 1:00pm: Mystics vs. Liberty (TSN4) 1:00pm: Lynx vs. Fever

MLB BASEBALL (SN) 1:30pm: Royals vs. Jays (SN Now) 2:30pm: A’s vs. Rangers (TSN2) 8:00pm: Rockies vs. Giants

MEN’S RUGBY WORLD CUP (TSN2) 11:45am: South Africa vs. Scotland (TSN2) 3:00pm: Wales vs. Fiji (TSN2) 3:00pm; England vs. Argentina

SPRUCE MEADOWS ON SPORTSNET: CPKC INTERNATIONAL GRAND PRIX (SN1) 3:30pm

GRAND DESIGNS (CBC) 4:00pm (SEASON PREMIERE): People pursue their visions and aspirations of building their own homes.

THE GREAT BRITISH BAKING SHOW (CBC) 7:00pm: The degree of difficulty rises as the four remaining bakers take on dainty mini Charlottes, delicate vertical tarts and an almondy, artistic showstopper.

NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC INVESTIGATES - LEGAL MARIJUANA IN AMERICA (Nat Geo Canada) 7:00pm: The U.S. war on pot is not over, as penalties and jail time are still a threat.

LUST, LIES & POLYGAMY (Lifetime Canada) 8:00pm: A newly married woman uncovers a web of lies after a stranger gets caught prowling around her house.

SEARCHING WITH CHEF SANG (TLN) 8:00pm: It's Sang's first time visiting Thunder Bay, and he has no idea what to expect.

RACE AGAINST THE TIDE (CBC) 8:30pm: Teams of sand sculptors race to complete their works of art before the Bay of Fundy tide comes in, and the judges choose the winner moments before everything gets washed away.

ALIEN ENDGAME (DTour) 9:00pm: In 2021, a groundbreaking Pentagon report revealed what the government had denied for decades; UFOs are real and may even pose a threat to our planet; members of the US military break their silence about the massive cover-up.

CRIME SCENE KITCHEN (Family Channel Canada) 9:00pm (SEASON PREMIERE): Six self-taught baking teams arrive at the "Crime Scene Kitchen" to start their hunt for clues, leading them to the mystery dessert.

DIANA AND DODI: THE PRINCESS AND THE PLAYBOY (Documentary) 9:00pm: The untold story of Dodi Fayed and the truth about his relationship with Princess Diana; featuring unprecedented access to Dodi's inner circle and revelation-packed new stories.

WHEN CALLS THE HEART (Super Channel Heart and Home) 9:00pm: When a former student visits, Elizabeth thinks she may need her help. Meanwhile, Lucas orders something for all of Hope Valley to enjoy -- if they can get it to work.

CLEAN SWEEP (Super Channel Fuse) 9:00pm: After realizing that she may have left evidence in Charlie's hotel room, Shelly concocts a scheme to destroy it at the police station.

THE WINTER KING (Crave) 11:00pm/12:00pm (SERIES PREMIERE): King Uther banishes his son Arthur; Arthur rescues a boy named Derfel whom he entrusts to Merlin. In Episode Two, an untimely death leads Merlin to locate Arthur and urge him to come back to Britain; chaos ensues when Gundleus assaults Avalon.

#cdntv #cancon #canadian tv #canadian tv listings #the great british baking show #searching with chef sang #race against the tide #when calls the heart #clean sweep #the winter king #fiba basketball world cup #tennis #nfl football #wnba basketball #mlb baseball #rugby world cup

[crowscoffee]

day 7: well it’s been a week even if it does not feel like and my life is. chaos? today was absolute chaos. what’s difficult is that i have so much shit to do these next two days, and to cope with the stress i daydream, but daydreaming is so intense for me and takes up so much time that i have even less time to get shit done! and generally speaking i’ve just been so exhausted, but now it’s 1:30am and i’m awake because my stepmom went to the hospital and just. idk life is super overwhelming right now. good news is i have therapy tomorrow, im hoping i’ll get some stuff done and actually get up at a good time to shower because that did Not happen today and i was late to class. going to try to focus on at least Not maladaptive daydreaming and being more mindful of time, even if im not suddenly fixed or super productive overnight.

[l-vvne]

y'all!! I've been away for so long. typing this feels so surreal, so many things have changed since last year. for one, I've finally actually graduated (yay! but also kinda really sad and nostalgic considering I've spent the last 6 years in the same school), completed my A levels (whew i genuinely couldn't believe I did it???? all my subjects??????), started a part-time job (contract staff but hourly pay is horrible but oh well! learning experience.....), met some really cool people & mentors, and today (well technically yesterday since it's already past midnight here) I just received my A levels results!!

and i really never thought so far ahead and never imagined I would be here?? 12 year old me could never have imagined me today when she naively applied for the school thinking she wouldn't get in. she would've been (rightfully, and very similarly) felt simultaneously that I could've done better (please don't attempt to mug your A levels 2 weeks before the paper) but also would've been so proud of myself as well. my results are okay, I can get into most local universities & the courses I want (just no medicine, law, etc. which I wasn't interested in in the first place so all is well) so I think life is good. for now before the chaos of uni applications start anyways.

and I know as much as all the comforting words have been said and tears have been shed, really just want to reiterate something I believe most, if not all, students receiving your results would've heard at least once: your results don't define you. it's almost 1:30am here and I'm tired and incoherent right now but I genuinely believe in the Chinese saying 天无绝人之路 (kind of direct translation = there is no dead-end path in life? i.e. when God shuts a door he'll open a window for you kinda thing) and that there's always alternatives & things will definitely work out. for someone who didn't pass H2 Chem in her final year to pass decently well at A levels was a feat I never thought I would accomplish, yet here I am! (thank you moderation (I suspect) and the bell curve god hahah) have faith, believe in yourself and your capacities. everyone has a special talent and a strength. don't discount yourself over this one sheet of paper. you can do this, we can succeed. have faith.

sorry, something that was supposed to be a short status update turned so long and rambly! but I hope fellow results collectors are okay and I genuinely hope that everyone will get into the course you're aiming for!! I'll maybe add on layer in the morning when I wake up and am more awake hahaha but really just all the best everyone, stay safe, healthy, and happy. we've got this. ❤️‍🔥🌻

anyways p.s. I'll likely by more free by end Mar 2023 so I'll only be back then~ (yes likely on both @l-vvne-writes) see y'all around, I miss my mutuals 🥺😭

#a levels #class of 2022 #hiatus update #s speaks #resuts collection

[wandasallerdyce]

Vacation - Clint Barton x M! Avenger! Reader

Pairing: Clint Barton x M!Reader

Fandom: Avengers Assemble (tv show; Marvel)

Plot: Clints plan may or may not go as accordingly

Requested: yes/no

Warning(s): mention of smut, slight cursing

Notes: oH MY GOD THIS SHOW IS AMAZING AND SO UNDERATED BUT IT REALLY MADE ME SIMP FOR THE CHARACTERS LIKE HOLY FUCK. ANYWAYS I HOPE YALL ENJOY. ALSO, THIS WASNT IN MY PLANS BUT SINCE ITS MY BIRTHDAY WEEKEND I WANTED TO REWARD YALL

(GIF is not mine)

When you had asked Clint to go on vacation with you, this is not what you had in mind. Yes, you both planned to go on a trip to the Bora Bora Islands, but you guys did not plan on the rest of the team to join you guys. Clint was mad when he found out the team would be joining you guys but you were able to calm him down before he yelled at the team. Both of you were used to always being alone on vacations, especially since you guys would go at it like rabbits all over the hotel room and there was no one to interrupt you guys.

But now, you guys had to remain in control of both of your guys’ lust. It was easy for you, but Clint on the other hand was a whole different case. It took time for him to get used to it, but eventually he got around to it. Anyways, you and the team decided to go for a swim. It wasn’t everyday you got a break. Being an Avenger was hard work. You were a skilled combatant, great at flexibility and a master of different weapons. When you guys got to the beach, Steve, Tony and Sam instantly jumped into the water.

Meanwhile, you, Clint, Natasha and Scott started a volleyball game. You and Clint versus the two redheads. Hulk and Thor where on referee and cheerleading duty. “Oh come on Barton! No fair!” Scott exclaimed as he failed to hit the ball since Clint would always make it unreachable for him. Clint simply just laughed at him. “Calm down Hawkeye, let the man hit it.” You said while trying to hold in your laughter. You couldn’t lie, it was pretty funny to watch.

You turned around and looked at Natasha who was also trying to hold in a laugh as Scott fell on the sand. “Don’t give up, Man of Ants! I believe in you!” Exclaimed Thor, trying his best to cheer on Scott. This kept going on until eventually Nat got annoyed. “Alright boys, if you guys are done, me and (y/n) would actually like to play.” Natasha said with a hint of annoyance in her voice. Eventually, both of the teams ended up in a tie. The sun was going down, so you and Clint decided to have some alone time and take a walk.

Clint wondered how he got so lucky. When you guys met, both of you actually hated each other. You despised his cocky attitude and he hated that you were so nice and forgiving since he didn’t believe that was who you truly were. When you guys were forced to team up to take down Red Skull, you confided in him and told him why you really joined S.H.I.E.L.D. and the Avengers, which made him open up to you about the circus. That was the first step in your guys’ relationship. When you guys confessed your feelings for each other, it was actually in a end of the world situation.

The fight against Thanos was starting to overwhelm all of you. You had various cuts on your body and cheek and a few tears in your suit. Clint stayed near you, making sure you were safe from the Titan’s wrath. You started to run out of ammo so you decided to just take down Thanos with your flexibility and skills all alone. As you started to reach him, he was able to grab a hold of you and started to choke you. You felt your air starting to run out and scratched at his arm with no use.

Next thing you know, your dropped onto the floor of the moon as Clint starts throwing punches at the Mad Titan. Thanos simply laughed and grabbed both of you, throwing you guys towards the watchers tower. You landed on Clint and just stayed there. Then, Clint starts talking to you. “Listen, (y/n), I’m being serious about this okay? This isn’t a game. I just wanted to tell you, that in case we don’t make it, um… ahhh… fuck it. I’m in love with you, (y/n) (l/n).” He told you, looking anywhere but your eyes. You simply responded by kissing him, finally hearing the words from him you wanted to hear for so long. He was surprised, but returned the kiss with more force. Eventually, you guys were able to bring down Thanos with the help of the Guardians of The Galaxy.

That brings you guys to the present. 4 years into your relationship, and things have only gotten better. Both of you share a room in the tower and are always together. Wherever you are, Clint is most definitely there with you also. Clint snapped out of his mind and stopped suddenly. You walked for a few more seconds until you realized he wasn’t following you. “Clint, honey, are you okay?” You asked with concern in your voice. Oh, how Clint loved the nicknames you gave him. You were the only one who was allowed to give him nicknames.

“Yeah, I was just thinking about the old times. Like when we met and stuff.” He said with a smile on his face. You smiled back and he swore he melted faster than ice cream. Your smile always radiated a certain type of happy. You turned to look at the sun setting and he immediately started sweating. He put his hand in his pocket, making sure the box was safe. He wanted to propose to you for a while, but he wasn’t sure if you would agree or not. ‘It’s now or never Barton, don’t be a chicken.’ He repeated in his head.

“Look Clint! The stars are about to show!” You exclaimed with such enthusiasm. You turned around and gasped, seeing as Clint was on one knee in the sand. “Listen, (y/n). I’m not good at speeches like Steve, but I’m going to try my best here. Basically, to put it short, I’m in love with you. I always have been. And I want to spend the rest of my life with you. You accepted me for who I was, even though you knew I was in the circus of crime. You didn’t judge me on my past, but on who I was now. I know I mess up sometimes, but your always there for me and help me back up. So, what do you say (y/n)? Want to become Mr. Barton with me? It’s totally okay if you say no I mean, I won’t be mad if y-“ You cut off his rambling by culling his cheeks.

“Clinton Francis Barton, how could I say no to you?” You said and leaned down to kiss him, your fingers entangling in his blonde hair. He relaxed into the kiss and synced both of your lips. Eventually both of you pulled back and he put the silver ring on your finger. It was simple, yet to you it was the most beautiful thing you had ever seen. “I was on a budget. Sorry I couldn’t get you a ring you deserve.” Clint said sheepishly, rubbing his hand on the back of his neck. You simply smiled and said, “Anything you give me is beautiful Clint.”

He stood up and dusted himself off and wrapped his arm around your shoulder and walked both of you towards the rest of the team. “When we have our first kid, I’m definitely teaching them how to shoot an arrow.” Clint said confidently. You simply chuckled. “Careful Clint, or they’ll end up shooting you in the leg.” You said while trying to hold in your laughter. Clint instantly had a shock look to his face. “Yknow what? Maybe I won’t teach them how to shoot after all.” He said looking spooked. You simply just laughed while walking back.

You ended up getting a text from Natasha telling you guys they were in Stark’s room. When you guys walked in, it was utter chaos. They decided to have a fun idea to play Uno. Right now, Nat was in the lead with two cards left followed up my Sam with three cards. Steve was still trying to figure out how to play and Thor and Tony ended up getting ganged up on with +4’s. Hulk meanwhile was watching the tv paying no attention to the others. You both decided to play the notice game and cuddled up to each other on a chair. You kept guessing who would be the first to notice the ring. Eventually, as always, it was Tony who noticed.

“Where did that ring come from?!”

I actually had lots of fun writing this even tho it’s 1:30am lolol. Anyways I hoped y’all enjoyed and peace out. Love ya guys!!!

#male reader #x male reader #clint barton #clint barton x male reader #clint barton imagine #marvel imagine #marvel

[thecleverdame]

Control and Release - 32

Series Masterlist

TEDTalk!Sam x Reader

Summary: After the rest of the staff is caught in a snowstorm, you find yourself acting as a personal assistant to the notorious Sam Winchester. As the arrangement becomes more defined, you and Sam begin a sexual adventure with dangerous consequences.  

Warnings: Dom/Sub, humiliation, embarrassment, sexual objectification, mutual masturbation, spanking, cum play, fingering, anal play, orgasm control, nipple clamps, dub-con, breath play.

Beta: @ilikaicalie

Parts 1-41 are currently available on Patreon for a monthly pledge of $2.50. This includes early access to all my stories, including Patreon exclusive content.  >> CLICK HERE <<

-

Without fail, Sam used to wake up early and go to the gym. He’d be up before the crack of dawn, sweating out all his frustrations and pushing himself harder than he probably should.  That was before. Things have changed. It’s no longer as easy for him to jump out of bed and start the day. Life has shifted. It didn’t happen all at once, it was little by little, his obsession with work waning as you become a focal point in his life.

It’s before five. The streets are quiet, most of the world still asleep as Sam lies on his side watching you. He’s been awake for an hour, silently watching your back rise and fall. It’s dark save a tiny bit of ambient light filtering through the curtains, but it’s enough.

This isn’t a new thing. Lately, he wakes up early and uses these moments to think, to wrap his head around the constant chaos that’s his life. And his favorite early morning pastime is watching you sleep.

This morning you’re belly down on the bed, a hand shoved underneath your pillow. The side of your breast is soft and round and warm. He thinks about how warm and soft your skin is. He gets lost in the middle of meetings wishing he could touch you, feel you pressed against him.

The blanket is pulled just over your ass, leaving your naked back exposed. There’s a subtle rise and fall as you breathe deep and even, lost somewhere in dreamland. You’re perfect and you don’t have a clue.

He stares at the curve of your hip, that slope of your waist that he likes to grab on to. You’ve told him you’re self-conscious of that part of your body but he can’t imagine why. Everything you fuss over he finds flawless. You were beautiful when he first met you, it’s part of why he pursued you. But the more he gets to know you,the more breathtaking you become. Every day he notices some new little area he wants to touch and kiss and watch while he fucks you.

Time in London is coming to an end. It’s been eight weeks of nonstop work but he’s confident in the expansion of his business. Toni will run things here, and she’s good at her job. He’ll be able to go home without worries about the day to day.

He should feel satisfied, but he finds himself unsettled.

In these quiet moments, he thinks about himself. Who he is, the man he’s become. He’s honest. He knows returning home will mean a shift. No more sharing a hotel room, back to the grind of the work week. He’s enjoyed this time with you, become accustomed to your constant presence in his bed and in his life. He doesn’t want to go back to how it was. You with the shitty apartment that you insist on staying in. Weeknights alone.

He should just tell you what he’s feeling but he doesn’t even like to admit it to himself.

You shift, cheek rubbing over the pillow, mouth falling open as you settle back in. Jesus, he’s done for and he knows it. This is as good as life will ever get. He’s fully aware that he doesn’t deserve you, doesn’t deserve to be this happy. And he doesn’t trust it. In his experience, the next misfortune is always waiting right around the corner. Adversity is always hiding in the shadows, one moment away from total catastrophe. He’s balanced on a house of cards hoping a stiff breeze doesn’t blow him over.

“Sam,” you whisper, eyes blinking open and closing just as quickly. You’re still asleep. This is Sam’s favorite.

“Hmmm?” he hums, stroking a hand up your back, grazing over a shoulder blade.

“I like you so much,” you mumble, stretching out long. You’re dreaming and he wonders what goes on your head. Your inner thoughts are the thing he wants most but will never have access to.

He grins, watching your face fall lax again as you slip back into the deep.

“I like you so much too.”

-

He fell back asleep without realizing it and when he wakes up for the second time he’s not sure where he is. There’s an overwhelming pleasurable sensation and when his eyes pop open he realizes why.

The covers are pulled back and you’re on your knees between his thighs with his cock in your mouth.

“Fuck,” he rasps, hands going to the crown of your head.  Your mouth is unbelievable, hot and wet, always perfect around his cock. And the way you suck him like you’re getting off on it is enough to make his balls go tight.

“Good morning.” You smile as your mouth pops off his dick. Wet lips pulled back over pearly teeth as you grin like the Cheshire cat.

“Shit,” he chuckles, forcing himself awake as he looks down at you. You caress him, palm curled around him and stroking over the head of his cock and back down to the root. Slow and steady as you dip back down and take the tip into your mouth.

When he’s in charge you’re gagging on him, mouth drooling, eyes watering with him shoved into the back of your throat. But there’s something just as appealing about this, you happily sucking his cock, tonguing around the crown before taking him into the back of your mouth.

Your other hand cups his balls and he thinks he might blow his load right here and now. You’ve gotten good at reading his body. You’ve been studying him the same as he’s been memorizing you.

“Get up here,” he huffs, tugging at your hair. You respond immediately, almost always obedient to his orders.

Wiping your mouth with the back of your hand, you knee your way up, straddling his waist. You lean down to kiss him, a wet, happy kiss that makes his belly flip. He simultaneously loves and hates the way it feels to be this affected by anyone.

“I thought I’d wake you up.” Grinning against his mouth your pussy rubs along the underside of his cock where it’s curled up against his stomach. You rub yourself on him up and down, letting the crown rub over your clit until he’s coated in your slick. “God, you’re so hard.”

“I woke up with my dick in your mouth.” He gives your ass a squeeze, both hands cupping your backside as you slide up and down his length. Jesus, he could watch this all day. The way you take his cock between your folds, teasing the head only to slide back for another pass.

He’s close already, he normally holds out longer than this but you’ve caught him in a vulnerable state.

“Shit, I’m gonna cum.” His teeth click together, head pressing back into the pillow. He opens his eyes just in time to watch the first spurt of cum shoot over his belly. You make a wonderful little sound, grabbing his cock and quickly sinking down on him as he finishes his orgasm inside your pussy.

“I like it better inside me,” you quip, raising yourself up and down on his cock, fucking him through it as he jerks and bucks from the release.

You kill him when you say things like that. He’s the one with the filthy mouth but sometimes you whisper things that make his cheeks red.

“You want me to fuck you?” he offers, sitting up, holding your hips in place. You smile, both hands threading through the hair at the back of his head.

“You’re still hard?”

“That was some blowjob.” You giggle as he flips you onto your back, mouth falling open, thighs squeezing around his hips as he slides back inside in a slow thrust.

“Better hurry, you’re going to be late.”

-

7:30am

He has a budget review meeting that’s dull as dirt despite Mick’s colorful personality. It’s his money and reputation on the line. There was a time when that alone was enough to keep him hanging on every word but not anymore.

8:30am

Pepper delays his skype call with a financier in Tokyo to deal with a minor crisis back home in Boston. He’s been away too long and apparently, people have forgotten what the expectations are. There’s been a mix up with documents for a legal case in New York. A courier handed off the wrong folder. They’re looking at a delay and possible reprimand for compromising a client’s personal data. There’s also a leak in the men’s bathroom on the eighth floor that requires a total overhaul. That means a construction crew and several dozen employees temporarily relocated.

10:47am

Sam’s forty-seven minutes late for the weekly wrap up led by Toni and Mick. True to her style, she didn’t wait for him. She’s in the middle of dressing down a guy in middle management when he enters and all eyes shift to him. He glances at Toni and then around the room at the sea of semi-familiar faces before he lands on you.

There’s not enough room, so chairs have been added against the sidewalls. You’re sitting behind Cole, notepad open. God, he’s happy you're here. Not that he’ll be able to talk to you, but just being in the same room is something. You flash him a smile that’s a far cry from every other somber face in the room. There are sixty W & S employees who are scared shitless of him and then your wonderful face lights up when you see him.

He returns a hint of a smile but it’s enough acknowledgment for you go back to your notes. Millie who’s sitting beside you looks away the second he makes eye contact with her.

12:30pm

Pepper has sushi delivered and you arrive at his office right on time. He’s got a video conference with the board. You silently take a seat on the other side of his desk, eating and watching him get into over market fluctuations.

Twenty minutes later he’s off to his next appointment. He gives your hand a squeeze as you turn to leave.

“Sorry we didn't have a chance to talk.”

“It’s okay,” you smile giving him a wink. “I know how busy you are.”

Standing on your tiptoes, you kiss his cheek. It’s soft and quick and far too sweet for anything he deserves. You could make a big deal out of this if you wanted to. You could demand more of his time and God help him, he’d find a way to make it work because he won’t lose you. But you never make him choose. Occasionally you swoop in with a gentle reminder to attend to your relationship, but other than that you respect his dedication to the business. He’s forever grateful for that.

Pepper comes in with his jacket, ready to whisk him away to a waiting car.

“I love you,” you whisper at the shell of his ear, so quiet he scarcely hears it.

He’ll never get used to anyone saying those words to him, least of all you.

He sits through his meeting getting lost in his own thoughts. He wonders if his mother used to whisper those three little words to him when she laid him in his crib. If he tries hard he thinks maybe his dad said it once or twice.

Sam had successfully categorized himself as unloveable long ago. He’s an asshole. His reputation hinges on his ability to be level headed and utterly ruthless. Love was something for men who weren’t permanently damaged.

And yet here he is.

When he gets back to the office, his schedule is jam-packed. He never used to mind it, running from one meeting to the next. He got a high from it, an adrenaline rush from the breakneck pace. Work filled every waking moment and that was how he preferred it. He didn’t have to think about anything else, every waking moment was filled with strategies and budgets and concepts ripe for the picking. He was all in.

Today he finds himself between meetings, locked in a private bathroom on the second floor just to have five minutes of peace. He’s already late for a follow up with Mick and there’s a laundry list of information he should be reviewing. But instead, he’s sitting on the closed lid of the toilet, staring at the wall.  

Maybe he’s getting old. That must be it. Time waits for no man and age is finally catching up to him. He needs to talk to his nutritionist and get back to a normal routine. Watching you sleep is an indulgence that he’ll have to let go of. He needs sleep and the gym. He needs self-control.

-

He doesn’t get back to the hotel room until just after eight. He wants to stay in, he’d prefer nothing more than to order room service and lay in bed but that’s not his life.

“Hey!” you call out from the bathroom. “Welcome home.”

“Thanks,” he glances around the room at several dresses hanging from various perches. “Are you going out?”

“Yeah, I was gonna tell you.” You wander into the main room in a bra and panties. Sam swallows hard. “I can’t decide what to wear. What do you think?”

“What’s the occasion?” he asks.

“Mick invited us all to this bar for drinks. It’s a going-away thing. You don’t mind, do you?”

“No, of course not.” He needs to tell you. “In fact, I have plans as well. Toni and I are going to dinner. One final review before I leave.”

“Oh,” you return quietly.

You’re facing the bed and he watches your whole back go tense.

“I can’t avoid these kind of situations simply because I have a past with her.”

“I never ask you to.” You turn toward him, eyes meeting. You’re pissed. Or maybe it’s just jealousy.

“I know and I appreciate that.”

“She thinks she’s better than me. She looks down on me as if I’m some little girl. A comical annoyance that she’d prefer to squash if she could. She makes me feel small.”

“I don’t want anyone to make you feel that way.” He’s not sure what to say. Does he reassure you? He’s not sure if you’re looking for a response or simply sharing your feelings. “Will Cole be there?”

“I’m sure he will. Along with twenty other people.”

“Then don’t wear the black dress, it’s too much for a work function. The red one is better.”

He loves the way you look in that little black dress. It’s not revealing but it hugs every curve and there’s something about the length of it, the amount of thigh it shows. He can’t stomach the thought of Cole sizing you up in his favorite dress.

“I’ll probably be out late,” you explain, pulling the red dress on and turning around for him to zip you up. “See you later.”

-

Sam’s half done with his meal listening to Toni talk at length about her last vacation in the south of France. He might be there in body, but his mind is elsewhere.

He’s been thinking about Jess lately. She used to only pop up on quiet, lonely nights. Blurry images of her face flashing before she slipped away. But this last year she’s been in the forefront of his mind.

For years he could hardly remember her face. The details faded with time and she was like a distant memory. A story from somewhere else’s past. But over the last few months she’s flooded back to him.

He can remember the way she smelled. Sweet and fruity, a body wash she used to buy that gave her skin this faint scent of strawberries. He can taste the chocolate chip cookies, feel them in his hand, still warm from the oven.

Their apartment was a small one-bedroom with creaky wood floors and low water pressure, but nothing ever felt more like home. Her stuff was everywhere, she bought her entire life with her, a household of belongings. He brought a duffel bag of clothes and a single family photo.

She gave Sam little pep talks. Anytime he expressed even a hint of self-doubt she’d crawl into his lap and tell him a hundred reasons why he was wonderful and capable and meant for greatness.

The memory shifts and he can feel her skin. He used to stay up late studying, crawling into bed well after midnight. She’d peel her pajamas off, kissing him as he did the same. That soft strawberry skin was like silk under his hands, every inch of her pressed against every inch of him. She’d whisper in his ear when they fucked. Sometimes sweet, sometimes filthy. But it was always about love; the way she loved his touch, his cock, his heart.

And then, just as life was better than he ever could have hoped for, Jess was dead.

All that warmth and love, the home, the life, it was gone like it never existed.

“Are you even listening to me?” Toni sits back in her chair, crossing her arms.

“No,” Sam admits, setting the cloth napkin on the table next to his plate. “Today was brutal. Just going over it in my head. Pulling a game plan together.”

“Well, I’m ready for a nightcap.” She raises her arm to get the attention of the server. “Why don’t we go back to your place and review the projections one last time. Get a headstart on tomorrow.”

“Sure.” He nods. “Sounds good.

-

Sam and Toni head back to his room, and he pours himself a glass of water, opening his laptop and waiting for her to finish in the bathroom. She’s been in there for ten minutes and he’s starting to wonder if something is wrong when she finally emerges.

She’s in her underwear, white lace panties, and nothing else. Her breasts are small and perky, hard nipples already at attention. Her body doesn’t look much different than when she was younger.

Shit.

“Toni,” he sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. “This is not…”

His words leave as she slinks toward him, practically crawling onto the couch.

He momentarily wonders if he’s become detached. Reading people has always been his forte but this but takes him so off guard that he’s stunned, a deer in the headlights as the moment unfolds.

There are a thousand thoughts at once. She’s a beautiful woman, a beautiful naked woman and yet he finds himself indifferent. He needs to make this as painless as possible, needs to find a way to turn her down without making things so awkward that they can’t work together. Sam needs Toni to run the London arm of his company, he can’t alienate her. You’d be so mad if you knew this happened. Does he tell you? He’ll worry about that later. He’s not done anything wrong. You’ll understand, you always do.

“Stop,” he hisses, pushing against the back of the couch.

“Come on, Sam.” She flashes a confident grin, then yanks his shirt from where it’s tucked into his pants. “For old time’s sake.”

“I said stop,” he says again, watching in wonderment as she doubles down. One hand slides into his hair, the other at his belt, getting him half unbuckled before he gets his wits about him. “What the fuck are you doing?”

“What does it look like I’m doing?” she purrs. “Come on, you have to want something more exciting than getting your dick sucked by a glorified secretary. Judging from all the pent up tension I’d say you’re in need of a little more satisfaction.”

She’s making it exponentially worse.

He draws in a breath and hesitates. Is this happening? Of all the things he’s got going on this is the last thing he needs. She takes his silence as encouragement and leans forward, pressing her lips against his mouth.

“That’s enough,” he grabs her wrists, pushing her backward. “I’m not sure what about our interaction has led you to believe this is something I want, but I don’t.”

“You have to be kidding me.” Sitting back on her heels, she examines him, eyes narrowing.

Sam knows her. She wants him because she can’t have him. Because of his status and the power he wields. More than anything he’s willing to bet the appeal comes from the fact that she’s competitive. She doesn’t like that you have something she wants.

Toni likes to be at the top of the food chain.

“Get dressed.” Sam scooches back, clearing his throat. “We’ll pretend this never happened.”

“You’re turning me down?” She holds her head held high. “Seriously?”

“This isn’t going to happen. Let’s just-”

There’s the familiar electronic beep of the keycard being slid in the lock and the door opens.

You stop dead in your tracks, a happy-go-lucky smile melting away from your face as you come upon the scene of the crime. Looking back and forth from Sam to Toni your mouth falls open, eyes going wide.

Fuck. Fuck.

Sam’s frozen, looking in horror at you standing in the doorway. You’re dumbfounded, the reality of what’s happening taking time to sink in.

“Good evening, Y/N.” Toni sits up straight, proud little smile with her tits on full display. “We didn’t think you’d be home so soon.”

Your mouth snaps shut, eyes darting from her to Sam and he wants to punch the wall. Wordlessly you turn and walk out of the room.

“Goddamn it!” Sam shouts. He grabs Toni’s wrists, giving her a yank. “Get dressed and get the fuck out of my room.”

By the time he makes it to the hallway, you’re halfway to the elevator.

“Y/N!”

“What?!” When you turn back you’re wild-eyed, fighting back tears. Your mouth contorts in repulsion. “Jesus Christ Sam! I can’t stand to look at you right now.”

“Don’t overreact.” Fuckfuckfuck. He knows it’s the wrong thing to say, even before you recoil. He can’t think fast enough, the words are just tumbling out of his mouth.

He can’t remember the last time he panicked like this.  

“Don’t overreact?!” you sputter, taking several steps away from him. “Fuck you! I trusted you. I must be so stupid. It never even crossed my mind that you would do something like this.”

“Nothing happened,” he counters, holding up both hands with palms out.

“Don’t lie to me. Something sure as fuck happened.” You look him over from head to toe, so disgusted that your mouth sours and you have to look away yet again. “For a guy who’s all about the details you’re not covering your tracks very well. You’ve got her lipstick on your mouth and your fly is still down.”

“What?” Sam feels at his crotch and sure enough, he’s unzipped. He’s not sure when that happened. “Look, she tried and I-”

“And you what? Let her take her clothes off? Did you fuck her?”

“No, of course not.” This is bad. He can see the escalation, the hundred ways this situation can get even worse.

“I don’t get it.” Your voice breaks as tears slip down both cheeks. His heart falls into his stomach. He’s hurt you a million different ways, both intentional and unintentional, but this might be the worst. “I thought we were in a good place. I try everything you want. I gave you a blowjob this morning. What could you possibly want from her that I’m not giving you?”

“Nothing,” he reaches out, moving toward you and you step back in tandem. “Nothing happened. I know this looks bad, I get that. But nothing happened. You came back at the worst possible time, but nothing was going to happen. That’s the truth.”

“Oh, this is my fault?” you yell. “I need to get out of here. I have to think.”

You’re tipsy, he can see it now. The wobble in your step, the way you tilt your head.

“Don’t leave.” He grabs your arm, forcing you to look at him. “If you leave it automatically makes things worse than they are. You can stay here and be pissed at me. We can talk. I’ll sleep on the couch. Just don’t leave, please don’t leave.”

Your face softens, teeth sinking into your lower lip as you consider his plea.

He knows how desperate he sounds and it makes him sick. Despite the love he has for you it’s painful for him to beg anyone for anything.

Crossing your arms over your chest you look toward the door. “She’s still in there.”

“She’s leaving.” He gets close enough to put his hands on your shoulders and nearly breathes a sigh of relief when you let him. “Just let me get her out of there. Don’t go anywhere.”

#sam winchester x reader #sam winchester fanfiction #sam winchester au #sam winchester smut

[fullmarvelheart]

Manhattan Incident

Pairing: Avengers x Enhanced!OFC

Word Count: 2,162

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of traumatic past, insomnia, passing out(..?)

A/N: Welcome to Chapter 1! I hope you all enjoy the story as well as the characters! Image is not my own. All rights go to the original creator.

Series Masterlist

I roll over and stare at my ceiling for what feels like the millionth time this night. Sleepless nights like this are not uncommon for me, unfortunately. Too many memories swirl in my head, bad memories at that.

The bright red numbers on the clock read 3:30am. I groan as I drag my hands across my face in frustration. Knowing that I'd just keep getting annoyed at myself, I tiredly throw the covers off my body and decide to go on an early morning run to relax my mind. 

When I step out into the crisp night, it feels as if a bucket of cold water has been thrown on me and I instantly feel awake.

I smile to myself as I lock the door behind me and stuff my key in the pocket of my leggings. It's a miracle I even found leggings with pockets! The cold air feels refreshing compared to my hot and stuffy bedroom. It helps ease my overactive mind.

The sound of my pounding footsteps on the pavement is music to my ears as I just focus only on that. It's extremely more pleasant that the hustle and bustle of cars and people that plague the New York  streets during the day.

I feel the energy flowing into each building and through each living thing as I pass by, though I try my best to ignore it.

The streets of Brooklyn are eerily silent besides the few garbage cans being rummaged through by raccoons or even some people. The few people that were still up stare at me, but I don't stop, I can't stop.

The slower I run, the more the memories start to return, the more the pain returns, the louder my thoughts get. I push my body harder, faster, to almost inhuman like speeds. I try to hold myself back as I feel my muscles screaming for a break. Though, the want to not hold back at all and run even faster than normally possible is strong, but my mind fights me on that. It fights me on both of those things.

Keep running!

No, don't! Stop!

Blend in, don't go faster!

Run faster! As fast as you know you can!

It's frustrating, and painful.

I begin to focus on my surroundings and realize I have no idea where I am. I slow to a stop before hunching over, ignoring the dull throbbing in my head that's beginning to form, hands on my knees in order to catch my breath. I could easily replenish my strength but I can't, I won't. Not after everything. Not while there is still a risk. I had finally found a place to settle, I'm not going to ruin that now.

I let out a loud sigh into the quiet night as I straighten up. My hand moves behind my head and allows my dirty-blond colored locks to fall out of the ponytail it was in. I begin to redo it when I hear a low rumble. I freeze, thinking I was encountering an earthquake, but the ground isn't trembling and it doesn't sound... natural. Small strands of my now loose blond hair brush across my face as the breeze gently tosses it around. The sound grows steadily louder and I begin the look around when I see it in the sky.

It looks like a star, about to collide with Earth. As it gets closer, I can't find the will to move away. It strikes, causing me to stumble to the ground. I raise up my hands to create an energy field around me for protection and notice nothing hits it. Lowering my hands, and ignoring the messy strands of hair across my face, I notice there's a some sort of bright beam.

"It almost looks like a rainbow." I whisper to myself as I stand and feel the raw power pulse within it.

The light suddenly fades, the blackness of the late night returning almost instantly. When my eyes grow accustomed to the dark, I notice a figure, shakily pushing themselves off the ground. They're no human, I'm certain of that. They radiate more power than anything I've ever felt in my life on Earth. It's weak, but still very much there. I can only stare at this person, my feet frozen to the ground.

When they stand up, their head falls back before they drag their hands down their face. By their side profile, I can tell it's a man. A man with what appears to be a cape, groaning in the middle of the street. He looks tall, strong, and has wavy long hair. I'm... intrigued by his sudden presence here, of all places.

Suddenly a bright golden light, with a bit of a greenish tint erupts from the center of his chest and cascades over his whole body. The cape disappears. I quietly gasp in awe. The power, I can feel it, I can feel it's uniqueness. However, the gasp wasn't quiet enough.

His head snaps towards me and I can see his fist clenching in the dark. Still, I stand there frozen.

But then I feel a presence behind me, a weak one of the man's.

A shadow maybe... I muse to myself.

He walks faster, with a purpose. He extends his arms creating two small but sharp daggers. He's still a bit away from me but I don't give him the chance to come much closer. Draining the power of the shadow behind me, and using what little strength I have from lack of sleep, I send an energy ball at him that glows a brilliant light blue before it knocks the man back several feet.

He lands with a thud and I don't give him the chance to attack again. Using the power lines running underneath the street, I teleport back to my room in my small home.

"Damn it!" I curse, flopping down on the bed, exhaustion weighing on my bones.

It's alright, I just need to lay low now... No one is up at this hour. No one saw... Hopefully they won't find me... 

.

.

.

A few hours later and I had finished eating breakfast. Turning on the early morning news, I drink my cup of coffee on the couch, relishing in the taste that touches my tongue and the warmth that flows down my throat. I lazily glance at the clock then look back at the TV.

Wait...

I look back over at the clock hanging on my wall and my eyes shoot open in alarm.

Crap! I'm going to be late for work!

I chug the rest of my drink, annoyed at the fact I can't savor it as I planned. Grabbing my keys and my purse, I dash outside. Let's just say I am pushing "on-time" when I get there. I throw open the door to the little café I work at and hurriedly weave my way through the customers.

"Eh, look who made it." One of my co-workers, Anna, says sarcastically. "Hey, everyone!" She calls back to our other co-workers. "Saddie's here!" I chuckle with her as this happens every-so-often... maybe like every other work day... yeah... I punch in and grab my apron before hurriedly tying it as I walk towards the front of the store.

She's still giggling to herself as I pull my hair back.

"Shut up Anna, I was on time." I say with a small smile.

"Barely." She chuckles.

I was about to reply when I happened to glance at the TV. I gasp, staggering back with a hand over my month. Everything else around me fades. On the news is an image of a Q-Ship flying over Manhattan, one of Thanos' many ships. Then the people running in a panic outside draws my attention.

Damn, why is it always New York?

"Everybody run!" Anna screams, causing a panic. I find myself running too, but towards the danger.

I push myself through the people, moving them slightly out of my way with my ability, but not significantly enough for them to tell. I look up towards the ship that I can now see for myself. Iron Man's suit flies over the horizon of panic and I grow suddenly nervous. I can't believe I'm going to do this... Without any warning, someone forcibly shoves my shoulder, causing me to lose balance. Before I hit the ground, strong arms wrap around me and drag me to the side of crazed people.

"Watch where you're going, mortal. Anyone of them would have trampled you. You're lucky I was there." An accented voice says dangerously close to my ear while slightly laced with amusement and what sounds like terror.

I feel it before I even look at him, the energy... it's the same as the man's... the one from last night.

I snap my head in the direction of his voice and come face to face with bright emerald green eyes. I push myself away with a force I don't usually use on normal humans.

But he's far from human.

He goes flying into the wall, then looks back at me, stunned as I regain my footing, before realization crosses his face. I don't take time to look at him more but instead continue towards the chaos, forcefully ripping off my apron in the process. I run into the middle of the street to find one of Thanos' Children I recognize as the bastard Ebony Maw, disappearing on his whirlwind of debris chasing after a red flying blur.

I feel for a current running under the city and use that to teleport closer to Maw. Running after them is easier said than done. Debris and abandoned cars create an obstacle course for me to weave around. Instead of doing that, I continually teleport near him. It's faster but still tiring to do.

I eventually notice Spider-Man swinging to reach the same red blur. Maw tries to catch the red mass using light posts and eventually snags it, though a man falls out. I gasp in horror, freezing, watching him fall when Spider-Man swings between the buildings keeping the other man from falling. Too many males in this fight... geez... You all need some estrogen!

I stop, only a couple hundred feet away when feel the hum of energy that surges through the ship. The transport beam activates, sucking the man in the air while the Sider-Man tries desperately to hold him back. Maw starts to use his powers to lift up the post Spider-Man is clinging onto. Snapping out of my observational trance, I conjure an energy ball and aim it at Maw. He doesn't notice until it's too late. He flies backwards from the force of the collision, but manages to remain conscious, to my annoyance. Using his powers to prevent his fall, he straightens up and turns to me with that haunting smirk of his.

Objects begin to fly at me and I create as many energy shields as I can, blocking their path. I create a bubble around myself before draining the currents underneath me to send out a shockwave. The flying objects are pushed away or are obliterated, windows are blown in and shatter, cars fly out of the street and into the buildings, stone and brick crack and crumble from the force. Maw goes flying back also, unable to block my ability.

Feeling slightly drained, I fall to my knee. I look up to see Maw picking himself up from the ground. He sends me a snarl before jumping into the beam as well.

Panic floods my system as he disappears and the beam stops. I groan as I push myself to my feet and begin to run after them, convincing myself I could still help them from here. An idea comes to me and I come to a stop before focusing on the feel of the Q-Ship. It's energy is so powerful, I'm terrified. I haven't practiced with my powers lately, I barely have enough energy to do this after what I've already done. I have no idea if this will even work. But I have to help, somehow... I have to try!

I have to help to make up for that day. The day that I couldn't save her. The day I lost the other half of me. The day my twin was ripped away from this life. And I have to make up for everything since, in someway.

I reach out to the power source, and begin to drain the ship. My hands shake as I do so, the energy feels too heavy. I should have gotten closer. But the ship begins to move, I-I c-can't...

More power is pushed through the ship, enough to move it through the atmosphere. It's getting farther... too far.

The world begins to spin and I collapse. Though, I feel someone's arms holding onto me, preventing me from hitting the hard pavement below.

Then the world goes black.

Chapter 2

#marvel #the avengers #avengers #avengers x ofc #avengers x oc #writers #My writing #writers on tumblr #writers on wattpad #natasha romanoff #nebula #gamora #captain america #steve rogers #bucky x oc #bucky barnes #loki #loki odinson #thor #thor odinson #loki laufeyson #hydra #infinity war #endgame #tony stark #clint barton #thanos #wanda maximoff #winter solider #the winter solider

[rosebagbyastrology]

🔮 Weekly Astrological Forecast 🔮

Astrology Forecast for the week of 10/26 — 11/1

These are the major planetary transits and aspects of the week. My interpretations are general run-downs of the energies present. **All times mentioned are in EDT**

💬 Mercury Rx moves into Libra

Tuesday, October 27th

Around 9:30PM on Tuesday night, Mercury in retrograde will backtrack into Libra, shifting the mind from the wateriness of Scorpio into airy Libra, switching the focus off our emotions and onto our intellect. Mercury Rx in Libra focuses on relationships, commitments and partnerships of all kinds. You may find yourself having conversations about the past and relationships from your past during this time. Exes or people from your past may also re-enter your life under this influence.

Mercury at 29’59° will semi-sextile Venus at 29’59° in Virgo, which means both planets will be moving into Libra at the same time, except Mercury will be moving backwards into Libra from Scorpio (because of the retrograde), and Venus will be moving forward into Libra from Virgo like normal. This simultaneous motion could create an alignment of the mind and the heart. You will be supported when sharing how you think and feel.

Venus is heading into some very intense aspects in the coming weeks as she moves further into Libra. She will be opposing Chiron, making a quincunx with Uranus and Neptune, and she will square the Jupiter/Saturn/Pluto conjunction, making difficult aspects to all of the outer planets. Mercury will station Direct on November 3rd around 25° Libra, so the Libra-ruled House of our charts will be activated during this time.

⚖️ Venus moves into Libra

At the same time Mercury Rx moves backward from Scorpio into Libra, Venus will also be moving into Libra from Virgo. Venus is in the sign which she rules. Venus in Libra values relationships, partnerships, marriage, commitment and collaboration with other people. It is a very harmonious sign for Venus, but she will be heading into some very intense aspects in the coming weeks which may cause us to focus more on the areas of our lives where things are not so peaceful, or where our relationships are not quite so harmonious. Libra doesn’t like to stir the pot or rock the boat, but the boat will be shook regardless, so this might be an uncomfortable influence. We need to focus on grounding ourselves and finding our center in the coming weeks as we deal with these difficult Venus aspects. We must stay committed to the truth and focus on the reality of the matter instead of getting wrapped up into the superficial surface projections of peace. Work on cultivating balance in your life and within yourself.

⛑ Moon square Saturn/Pluto and opposite Mercury

Friday, October 30th

There aren’t any major aspects today, but I wanted to mention how the Moon in Aries will be opposite Mercury and squaring the Jupiter/Saturn/Pluto conjunction, (technically square Jupiter on Thursday) because this Moon square is triggering the Mercury square with Saturn we will have on November 1st. So pay attention to what’s being brought up in your conversations and in the media! New information will surface during this time.

Uranus will also be perigee around 1:30PM, with the Sun/Uranus opposition occurring tomorrow on Halloween, just over an hour after the Full Moon in Taurus conjuncts Uranus. Uranus energy will be very dominant this weekend, so expect the unexpected and prepare for things to get a little chaotic and shocking. Try to embrace the changes that occur and open up to the Revolution of Uranus to make the most of these transits.

🌕 Full Moon in Taurus

Saturday, October 31st

The Full Moon at 8’38° Taurus will be exact around 10:30AM, marking the midpoint of the current lunar cycle which began with the New Moon in Libra square Pluto on October 16th. This has been a very deep lunar cycle. A lot of darkness and shadows have been brought to light. This Full Moon will be conjunct Uranus, making the revolutionary rebel planet very strong. Uranus rules unexpected, shocking and sudden events, so anticipate that things might not go to plan. Changes may occur in your love life and finances as well, whether these changes are positive or negative is difficult to say because when you’re dealing with Uranus, you never know what you’re going to get. It’s like flipping a coin.

⚠️ Sun opposite Uranus

Saturday, October 31st

Around noon, the Sun in Scorpio will oppose Uranus in Taurus, creating tension between the conscious-self/ego and the unpredictable rebel planet of awakening. Mercury also opposes Uranus this month, so expect lots of upheaval, changes, and perhaps even chaos in our relationships, material attachments, and what we value/hold on to. If we are holding onto things that no longer serve us, this is a time where we could be asked to cut our losses. The more baggage you try to hold on to, the more chaotic your month might be with this Uranus influence at play.

💢 Mercury Rx square Saturn

Sunday, November 1st

Mercury Rx in Libra will square Saturn in Capricorn around 2PM. This creates tension between our mind, influenced by Libra and striving for harmony, and Saturn, the Lord of Karma who wants us to get real and deal with the reality of the situations in our lives. This is the 2nd out of 3 Mercury/Saturn squares, the 3rd one occurring on November 6th due to Mercury’s station direct on November 3rd. Essentially, this means we have a very long and intense Mercury-Saturn square from today, November 1st until after November 6th.

Mercury-Saturn can be great for having serious and grounded communications with others, but it can also tend to bring on depression, pessimism and negative thinking patterns. You may be focusing on everything that is wrong and ignoring all the things that are right, or the other extreme where you’re only focusing on the positive and ignoring the shadows which need to be dealt with. Mercury in Libra doesn’t like to rock the boat, and will sweep things under the rug for the sake of peace and harmony. You cannot keep sweeping these shadows away forever, and these shadows might expose themselves in your life now especially if you’ve been trying to hide them or ignore them. Pay attention to what is occurring in the media as well. We will be seeing power struggles, dogma, and rigidity of the mind. Also pay attention to what you say/hear/think right now. Words are very powerful now, and while they may be heavy, they will also be very revealing of reality. People will be inclined to speak their truth.

🏳️ Venus opposite Chiron Rx

Sunday, November 1st

Near 3PM, Venus in Libra will be opposing Chiron Rx in Aries, creating tension between the planet of love and beauty and the wounded healer planetoid. This combination of energies can bring up old wounds around relationships, and in regards to your self-worth and self-love. Venus in Libra can be overly focused on others, what they’re doing and how they value us. The healing happens when Venus can learn to stop looking outside and instead look within. With Libra/Aries polarity, we want to find balance between our Yin and Yang, our masculine and feminine. If we are sweeping our anger, sadness and other negative emotions under the carpet, this is the kind of aspect that will bring those emotions back up. On the other hand, if you have been overly aggressive and self-focused, the healing here will come from focusing on others before the self. Venus will be making many difficult aspects in the coming weeks which will rock the boat of our relationships and in the Libra ruled House in your natal chart.

#astrology transits #astrology forecast #astrology

[engineer-ai]

A Week in Sachin Dev Duggal Life: CEO of Engineer.ai

Sachin Dev Duggal is a serial entrepreneur, founding Engineer.ai in 2012 as a solution to the long and expensive process of app and software development. Prior to this, he founded technology companies Shoto and Nivio.

Engineer.ai is a technology company that is re-shaping how bespoke software is built, driven by the belief that everyone should have the opportunity to see their business idea come to fruition, without huge investments of funding, time and technical knowledge.

Monday

I wake up most mornings at 6:30am. This morning, I wake up even earlier due to the cries of my three-month-old daughter, Samanäya. As I pick her up from her crib and rock her back to sleep, I can hear my phone buzz a million times a second from across the house. With Sam in one hand, I begin to skim through the many emails I’ve received in the last six hours. I don’t even bother checking Slack at this point because messages, from engineering to marketing, run into three digits there in a matter of hours.

I run a global organisation, so work never stops. The Indian office is in full swing by now. Meetings are lined up from 9:30am to 6:30pm and a lunch break seems like a far-fetched dream at this point. I put Sam back to bed and get on my laptop. The rest of the morning is spent catching up on emails, going to the gym, having breakfast with family, doing the school run with my three-year-old son, Aramnäya, and more meetings, emails and messages.

The day is spent revisiting the previous week and planning the one ahead. We also have the formidable annual review coming up since the end of the year is near. But despite all the chaos, at the end of the day, I feel grateful for everything – the opportunities that I’ve been given to create something meaningful, my entire team at Engineer.ai who make it happen, and my family, of course.

Tuesday

I got a fortunate four hours of sleep last night. Today, over breakfast, I’m reading “Click, Clack, Moo. Cows That Type” to my son. He loves the cows that type away, much to Farmer Brown’s dismay. I don’t like noisy typers myself, so this story book is enjoyed by both my son and myself equally. The rest of the day flies past with meetings and PR interviews.

I wrap up at 6:30pm sharp and head to my kickboxing class. This is my sacred hour and some of the best ideas have come to me during this time.

After my class, I head home. 7:30pm to 10:00pm is strictly family time. Post dinner, there’s story time again and off to bed my kids go. Many hugs and kisses and goodnights later, I’m back at it. My day hasn’t ended. I’ve got another 4 hours of calls lined up with the leadership of my organisation.

Wednesday

We are doing a front page ad campaign with the Times of India, the second-largest selling English-language daily newspaper in the world, for two of our products – Builder Studio and Builder Cloud. There’s a lot of planning that goes into nailing the segmentation and targeting, messaging, call to action, lead capture and so forth. So, I’m flying to India today. I get off the 9-hour flight and head straight to work. I won’t be getting much sleep for the next 48 hours.

At about 8pm, I leave from office to catch dinner with my mum. This is the best part of my trip! As soon as dinner is done, I head back to work for late night meetings with the product team. We wrap up by 1:30am and everyone seems satisfied with how much we got done.

Thursday

I’m up bright and early this morning despite sleeping late last night, thanks to jetlag. I go for a jog and then head to work. I walk in at 8:00am and there isn’t a soul to be seen, but that’s on me. I’ve always been the first one in, last one out and the habit just doesn’t leave me. I’ve never quite been able to segregate “work” time from “non-work” time. My mind just doesn’t work that way. I spend my day (including lunch hour) in operations, marketing, sales, PR and finance catch-ups, and believe me, in a fast-scaling global organisation like Engineer.ai there is enough to discuss.

We also finalised the nitty-gritty of our upcoming campaign and with that, my trip to India officially concluded, albeit with another late night.

Friday

I took a late flight last night back to London, walking onto the plane on a conference call, so I can attend my son’s first play. I manage to catch some sleep on the flight. In school, Aramnäya walked onto stage first (his eyes searching for his mother and I). My heart melted and suddenly all the craziness this past week made sense. The headteacher came to me to thank me for the lights, and I, at the back of my mind, thought of my wonderful assistant, Alessia, who just made magic happen.

I wrap up work early today, so we can go out for a little celebratory family dinner. No more emails, meetings, calls, or messages for the day. I put my phone away. Tonight is about love, gratitude, and family.

#engineer.ai #sachin dev duggal #life style

[anrosner]

Mission Possible: acceptance & analysis

“This is your mission should you choose to accept it”

For as long as I can remember I’ve used that quote to try to explain my job to people.  My professional life is a constant journey into the unknown.  Everything I do starts with a phone call, text or email from someone I may or may not know, and they present a mission that usually seems very close to impossible.  But most often I’ve done it or something like it before, so the odds are I’m going to do it again.

The details are often vague, and purposefully so.  “We don’t have enough money, enough time or enough information, but we’re hoping you’ll help us figure all that out along the way” isn’t exactly an attractive offer, but it’s often the case.  Nonetheless, my addiction to the process of replacing confusion, misery, chaos, uncertainty and fear with the incomparable feeling of accomplishment, pride and comradery that comes with finding success in every mission I choose to accept wins out over hesitation. I take the envelope, open my laptop, and I get to work.

My current location this morning is a fitting and familiar beginning to this journey for me.  It’s 5:30AM, I’m sitting in Terminal 3 at LAX, where I find myself often enough to maintain a solid platinum existence with my chosen air travel provider.  Today, Spokane. Tomorrow, British Columbia, and the next day even further into uncharted territory.  Plane is on time, so we’re off to a good start...

But, back to the mission at hand - “Human Wellness & Technology”  

Let’s light the fuse, start this mission and see where it goes! (cue mission impossible theme)

I’m very happy with the group I’ve been assigned, but that’s not a surprise. Every person in this cohort is so talented within their specialties and chosen paths, it gives me inspiration and motivation to push my limits and reach new plateaus and do my best for them.  Along the way I hope to learn from their experiences and talents and I hopefully will be able to offer up a few tips and tricks of my own that help them along the way.

Human Wellness and Technology?  Huh?  What does it mean?  How can they coexist?  Do they coexist?  Who’s benefiting the most at the intersection of these two ideas?  Who’s benefiting the least??  How can the fortunate assist the less so?  How can we as people utilize technology to reshape behaviors in order to allow people to know more about themselves, feel better and ultimately live a better life?  I’m loving the fact that the answers to the topics we have chosen to explore all lie within the thing that creates the question itself, the internet.  Technology.  I feel like as a group we are all certain the key to a better future for all people lives online and quite possibly already exists in one form or another, but the true success will be when we as humans figure out how to help everyone on earth utilize these tools in a truly positive and beneficial way.

I begin my analysis by exploring the ideas and brainstorming of my team.  I feel very fortunate that when we all wrote down topics and directions we’d like to explore, there were immediate and easily relatable similarities, but they weren’t at all the same.  It is obvious to me that the best place to begin this process is to start learning more about the specific things that my team is curious about, and how those thoughts align with my thinking and points of view, then add in my perspective to support, challenge and contribute to the evolution of these ideas.  My plan for this mission starts with a simple recipe: 1-part team, 1-part google, 1-part me, add 3 hours, then repeat.

Before long, I immediately start to see what we all somewhat suspected.  There is a tremendous trove of information existing in the form of websites, public resources, platforms, apps and ideas that all aim to help humanity find peace and wellness for themselves within a technologically advanced society.  But at the same time the bigger and more important question begins to become more and more clear. Why aren’t these things changing things as much/fast/easily as they are designed to?  Are we doing it wrong?  Are historic behaviors too hard to change?  Is all of this wellness stuff just a luxurious and frivolous distraction for a lucky and select few, or a true attempt at making the world a better place for everyone?  Finding these answers is going to take a few more parts google, a lot more teamwork and many more hours to define.

The mission isn’t ever easy, but it’s always possible....

[pan1418]

Into the Unknown

The strange thing about entering into a foreign environment is that no matter how well prepared you believe you are, all preconceived notions fly out the window as soon as you engage the new reality. I have many friends who have traveled to India. I've heard countless stories and recieved lists of advice before my trip. As I had been traveling for 24 hours straight I was running on about 12 hours of total sleep in the 72 hours prior to my landing in Delhi.

I was told 'go to the desk to get a prepaid taxi'. So after passing through an interaction with a very unwelcoming immigration clerk I picked up my luggage and headed for the prepaid taxi desk. My intention was to only withdraw enough Indian rupees to pay for my taxi and then find a money exchange the following day after a good night's sleep. Everything seemed pretty straightforward. I was taken to the taxi cab and began my journey venturing into the capital of India with 26 million people at 1 am in the morning. I gave the address to my taxi driver and off we went. As we were approaching the neighborhood where my hotel was, he began asking me if I was aware of the Muslim uprising. He told me that there was violence happening against the establishment as disgruntled Muslims were creating chaos in the streets of this particular neighborhood. Then he told me we could not enter the neighborhood because it was blocked off. He told me the only thing we could do was go a local tourist information office and see if there was another hotel available in the area.

New Delhi is a very large Urban area that is impoverished and run down. The tourist information office was the only business with a lit up sign in an otherwise dark and gloomy neighborhood. The Taxi driver brought me inside and spoke quickly in Hindi to the manger of the establishment telling him of my situation. The manger was very nice. He sat me down and greeted me with a big smile as he ordered us a couple hot cups of Chai tea. He told me that his business is funded by the Indian government and that his services were completely free. He asked me what I was planning on doing in India. I told him that I did not have many plans and that I was on an adventure. When I told him I was planning on heading to Rishikesh he advised that I look into a different destination because he said it was seasonly too cold to be in Rishikesh this time of year. He proceeded to draw me a very elaborate map of another area of India I could travel to. He set up a 4 week itinerary including camel back riding in the desert and visiting the wild tiger preserves. It was at this time I began to realize that he was giving me an elaborate sales pitch not legitimately trying to help me out of a confusing situation in the middle of the night. I let him get to the end of his pitch and when he told me the grand total was going to be over $4000 American dollars, I told him that I did not have that kind of money to spend and was looking to travel on a small budget. He asked me how much my budget was. I told him I had come with $1200 dollars. Immediately he kicked back in his seat and laughed hysterically as he brought both hands behind his head. He exclaimed that there is no way that I would be able to live for over 4 weeks on that amount of money. I knew that my time in his office was not going to help me and so I prepared to leave. He offered to call me a taxi and drive me straight up to Rishikesh. The Taxi was going to be $300! I told him that I was not going to pay that and I got up to leave.

When I returned to the taxi I told the driver that if he could take me as close as he could to my hotel that I would take my chances and walk the rest of the way. He was adamant as he told me that that was not a good idea. With his hand touching his heart he told me that he did not feel good about leaving me in a dangerous situation in the middle of the night. He said if I'm not happy then he is not happy. It was endearing to hear of his concern and I opted to trust in his opinion. He told me he would find me a cheaper taxi that works be able to bring me up to Rishikesh. After making several calls; now about 3:30am he finally gave me the thumbs up and said he had arranged a ride. He told me because it was last minute in the middle of the night that it was going to cost me 12,000 rupees or about $170 dollars. I felt that this was my best option considering all the rest of the confusion that was swirling around in my mind. He dropped me off with my new driver, exchanged some more quick conversation in Hindi and then asked that I pay him the 12,000 before going with the next taxi. I paid the fee and also gave him a handsome tip feeling as though he had really helped me out of a potentially dangerous situation where I was none the wiser. I gave him a big hug and off he went.

My new driver did not speak very much English at all and it was difficult to communicate to him when I needed to stop to pee. Given that Rishikesh is a good 4 and 1/2 hour ride from Delhi I was actually resigning to having to hold it the whole way.. fortunately the word toilette seems to carry a universal meaning.

My first experience of witnessing how people in India drive was quite educational. The rules are simple: the road is for everyone to travel on. Whether it be cars, trucks, tractors, scooters, pedestrians, cows, or horse- cart carriages everyone has equal entitlement. There are lines on the road but no one is required to follow them. Anyone can drive anywhere on the road at anytime. Everyone makes full use of their horn at all times (if they have one). The horn basically says "I am here and I am coming through. It is my genuine intention that we do not crash into each other causing undue and unpleasant expenses that neither of us are prepared to forfeit. As crazy and chaotic as it may seem to Americans, it actually is a very wonderful and efficient system. Everyone trusts that everyone else is doing their absolute best, and everyone gets where they need to go at their own pace. In America when you hear someone laying on the horn you can immediately feel their frustration. As if the horn is meant to tell other drivers how bad at driving they are. And if the other driver was not already aware, the person honking the horn has been inconvenienced unexpectedly. In India the horn has such an assertively pleasant and considerate tone that you want to do your best to make navigation around you as enjoyable as possible. If Americans who suffer from road rage were sentenced to driving in India for 1 month, they would come home cured.

After a couple of hours settling into the ride, I finally feel asleep in the back of the taxi for a bit. When I awoke we were far from the city and beginning to enter the northern foothills of the Himalayas. I looked out the window to catch my first glimpse of the sacred Ganges River. The mist was thick as it had settled into the river basin. It appeared that the trees were growing up out of a pillowy cloud as if in a dream. The blood red sun was rising over the hills and shone brightly through the mist as I could stare straight into it. I had the first feeling of entering the mystical Motherland where seekers have journied since time immorial to explore the inner workings of the self. My gratitude for life sprung from my heart.

Then I began to experience my first waves of paranoia. What if the taxi driver I had paid in Delhi was not going to pay the driver who had brought me up north? What if I got to Rishikesh and the current driver was expecting to be paid? I didn't have anymore money with me to pay him. Some part of me knew that I had been taken for a ride, figureitvley. I relaxed into the paranoia and made my peace with whatever the situation may be.

I was told by Spirit on this ride that I was here to understand how to stay centered in my heart no matter what the external circumstances may be. It recommended that I title this chapter of my blog Following the Heart. The premise is based on the idea that what we experience as physical life is no more than a dream. We are built with a mind that is also just part of the dream and so everything that the mind experiences is only from within the perspective of the dream itself. The Heart however exists apart from the dream of life. The heart is concentrated and connected to our Source and our Soul which is eternal and immortal. For a very long time humanity has been operating as if the physical life we know is all that there is. The mind does not remember the time when we chose to fall asleep as The Soul, so to speak, and dream the dream of life. Just as when we wake up in the morning and the dream of the nighttime fades, everything that seemed so real, just a moment ago while we were dreaming, is revealed as only being a dream. The same thing is beginning to happen in our waking reality. We are beginning to wake up and remember that we are living in a physical dream and yet also experience a greater reality in the world of spirit simultaniously. This means that whatever details are occuring in our current life, does not define and control who we are. Especially when we observe events happening around us that are disturbing or fearful, if we are able to understand that it is just a scene occuring as if watching a play on a stage, we would be able to maintain a connection with the peace, love, and Joy of the Soul that can not be shaken. This is the supreme reality of the Heart. It knows this. It experiences this at all times. No matter what the mind has to say, the Heart quietly resides in it's eternal abode of the Soul. The challenge we all face right now is how can we consider what the mind is telling us when it feels threatened and afraid within the world around us and conciously defer to the wisdom of the Heart which is always silently at peace. This is the wisdom that every enlightened sage has ever taught about the true nature of reality and what it is to be human. It is not to deny the emotions and the activity of the mind for the sake of a spiritual principle but rather to utilize the power, guidance, and Grace that is contained within the heart in every moment that can harmoniously navigate the unfolding circumstances of our daily lives. Honoring every experience as that of a Great Divine gift.

Now back to the story.. I was taken to what is called a guesthouse, or hotel/hostel, in the Laxman Jhula area of Rishikesh. My paranoia calmed It turned out that the taxi driver was compensated for the trip and I was released to check in to my room. Finally having a quiet room and ability to let go, I fell soundly asleep.

PS: I was having dinner with my Landlord and a new Frenchmen friend I made the other night. As I was telling them my story of not being able to check into my Hotel in Delhi, they both rolled their eyes. They told me that that is the scam that most taxi companies run on first time tourists. Between the taxi company, driver, tourist information center, the next taxi driver, and the hotel that they took me too were all in on the scam. A taxi ride from Delhi to Rishikesh is in actuality only $50 US dollars. Between the 3 nights for the room I payed for in Delhi that I never made it to, the two taxi rides and the overpriced guesthouse I checked into I was taken for over $300. All the while everyone involved was very nice and acting like they were helping me out. With a big smile on their faces they said "Welcome to India"

Now here is where the rubber meets the road. From the perspective of the mind one can have all sorts of different thoughts. How could they lie and steal from me? What is wrong with those jerks? How could I be so naive and gullible? What a waste of my time and money! Will I not be able to make it with the money I have left? What should I do? From the perspective of the heart one feels only gratitude. What an amazing experience! I am always provided for. I am being guided and cared for at every turn no matter what. To fully experience this living dream I am being asked to sacrifice my logic, reason, efficiency, judgment, and preconceived ideas about what I think should be unfolding in exchange for the peace, love, and joy that my Heart holds for all of creation. Welcome to India indeed.

[eponymous-rose]

Weird question, but you seem really productive despite seeming to have a constantly fluctuating routine, with both your work and your hobbies. Most people think having a solid routine is the only way to increase your productivity but I've pretty much given up on having a routine since my life seems similar to yours--a lot of travel, weird and always changing work hours. Do you have any advice on how you deal with routine and productivity in spite of that?

Oh gosh, this is definitely something I struggle with a LOT, and I’m not sure I’ve found a coping strategy that works for me yet. But the small things that have been helping have been (1) keeping a routine in my planning even if the stuff I do changes dramatically (even if I’m traveling, I have a notebook where, every Sunday, I list all the stuff that has specific dates/times for the following week, I list the stuff where I still have to come up with a date/time, and I list the stuff I’ve gotta do that week for sure), and (2) finding multiple ways to approach the same goals that I can tailor to my level of energy/spare time on any given week (so this week I’m just not in a super exercisey mindset and can’t rely on having the motivation to run every day, but instead I’m making an extra effort not to eat out this week—lower-effort for my current state of mind, but all toward the same goal of feeling a bit healthier overall).

I’m also very cognizant of how little time at work is actually spent working, so I try not to feel guilty if the total number of hours worked is low as long as the work’s getting done. I’m an incredibly routine-oriented person, but it’s been a bit freeing to slowly and steadily teach myself that stuff just has to get finished one way or another, and the easiest way to do that is to just focus on specific goals and let the rest be flexible.

Anyway, yesterday I was thinking of this ask and was like, “You know, I’ll just write up what I do on Monday as an example, and I bet things will go hilariously awry.” And so they did.

So here’s what my weekly planning list looked like last night:

Dated Events:

Call with paper coauthor at 9AM Monday

Call with leadership academy planning committee at 10AM Monday

Call with peer mentoring group at 9AM Tuesday

Sit in on class at 11:30AM Tuesday and Thursday

Seminars Wednesday at 3PM, Thursday at 4PM, and Friday at 3PM

D&D Saturday at 6PM

Undated Events:

Coordinating abstract submission for an upcoming conference (early week)

Setting up Skype calls with a couple friends I haven’t talked to in a while (late week)

Assorted Priorities:

Book hotel for work travel in July

Accept journal article review request and scope out how long that’ll take

Review some materials sent out for my peer mentoring call

Revise my paper and submit the revisions before the Monday deadline

Get my driver’s license renewed (the joys of yearly visa renewal… your license has to be renewed yearly as well)

Put together a schedule for a biweekly Twitter feature highlighting new publications for the account I run for a subcommittee in my field

Respond to an e-mail about a conference in January about some weird deadline that popped up for next week

Come up with conference abstract ideas before the as-yet-unscheduled meeting

Fill out some action items in advance of my 10AM Monday call

And some more specific checklists for four research projects I’m focusing on this week

I purposely try to group conference calls together, because I currently share my office and feel weird doing video calls when she’s stuck in frame five feet away from me while she tries to work. So Monday seems like a good day to work from home, and I can squeeze in Tuesday’s call before heading to the office that morning. I’ll be in the office Tuesday-Friday, which means I’ll be able to attend those seminars and classes with no problem. I have most of my D&D prep done already because we ended early last game, so I can leave that until Saturday. The only thing I might have to shuffle to next week is the driver’s license thing, because it’ll take three hours and I have to account for finding a Lyft there and back. Okay. Aces.

Wake up this morning to find my internet’s out, and I also somehow left the hard drive with all my research on it at work. Hoo boy. But staring over my to-do list, I think I can set today up as a “big picture” day and not have to do any actual coding, so I’m still okay to work from home. I can also phone in to the conference calls instead of using the video call software. All good.

Luckily, the internet comes back right before my first call of the day. Said call is with someone who also happens to be a dean, so she has a tendency to get held up at meetings, so I take that delay to look at the action items for my second call (I mean… if you send me action items at 8PM on a Sunday I am not gonna touch them until Monday morning).

When she did make it online, we chatted about the new paper, and she strongly encouraged me to send it to our other coauthors in case they have suggestions. We’re submitting on Monday, which is way too short-notice to read a 20-page research paper, but they already read the pre-revision version in great detail, so I shot them an e-mail that included a summary of the substantial changes and a note to the effect that if any of them want more time to look at this stuff, I can beg the editor for an extension on their behalf. Minor crisis averted.

Second meeting is very intense and structured. Everyone has to volunteer to organize and lead two webinars in the next three months, so I go ahead and volunteer for the two April ones so I’ll get it out of the way early. Aaand the first webinar is at 1PM this Friday. Okay. I’ll work from home that morning so I can do last-minute prep, then head into the office in time for the 3PM seminar. No biggie. One organizer puts together a draft schedule, and I send a quick e-mail suggesting a different use of one of the ten-minute time slots. One of the other organizers requests another conference call tomorrow instead of e-mails. I tell them I can only do after 4PM, if I leave work early. Eh. We’ll see how that works out.

After the call, I get through a bunch of small tasks in maybe 20 minutes: hotel booked, Twitter posts prepped, review request accepted (not due until May 20, so plenty of time on that), conference deadline e-mail chain started. I spend the rest of the time before noon getting sucked into an article someone sent me about the myths surrounding undergraduate grade inflation and then reading up on the peer mentoring materials for our call tomorrow. A couple other minor e-mails pop up (scheduling the precise date of a conference mixer in January, that kind of thing) and I manage to deal with them right away.

Lunch! Clearly working from home means I should take the opportunity to indulge in some fine cuisine, some leisurely cooking that highlights—

I heat up a microwave meal (chicken couscous) and watch YouTube videos for an hour.

Back in it! I write up some abstract submission ideas and make a valiant attempt at setting up a time to talk about them, but it looks like that might have to wait until next week. We’re still a ways before the deadline, so that’s okay.

Mmmmmmm someone on Twitter mentions a conference in Germany in September and a workshop in Colorado in July that both look like a good fit for my research. I’m in a situation where I have a big chunk of travel funding that’s going to disappear unless it gets spent in the next year. Oh no. But also oh yes.

Just in case, I put together a couple point-form ideas for stuff to propose that I can bring to the people holding the purse strings.

The rest of the afternoon is spent putting together weekly goals for four of my research projects: each one involves a collaboration with a different person, so I’d like to be able to send each of them an e-mail with at least one new thing to share about that project this week. Just in case that doesn’t happen, though, I rank them from most to least important. Worst-case scenario, I don’t have to send any of them this week, but it’ll make next week tougher if I don’t.

It’s only about 3:30 at this point, but honestly, I’m feeling a bit exhausted and overwhelmed (some of the e-mail chains have gone through five or six replies at this point and keeping it all straight is giving me a headache), so I opt to get some groceries and call it a day.

I may have added some stuff, but I got a lot crossed off today! Here’s how that last checklist looks at the end of the day:

Assorted Priorities:

Revise my paper and submit the revisions before the Monday deadline

Project #1: come up with a new exploratory figure and send to Person A.

Project #2: summarize the early results I started last week and send to Person B, along with an ask to see whether he’d be up for me presenting this stuff in Europe in November.

Project #3: improve on figures I showed last month and send to Person C.

Project #4: prepare a rough outline of the next paper to send to Person D.

Not having my work hard drive means I was able to just focus on the stuff that wasn’t specific to research today. In all the chaos of today, I’ve set myself up well for a research-heavy rest of the week where I (hopefully) won’t have to worry about non-research stuff or big changes to the schedule and can just burrow into research, emerging for occasional seminar/webinar breaks. A good Monday, all around.

#eponymous academia tag #karionwriting

[nazsite-blog]

𝐁𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐓𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐬

“It will be the best of the times.” 

Yes it will. From the step on the school’s floor to the step on stage of graduation. I will graduate with a diploma and show to my parents how proud i am.Senior High School has made me changed myself.A bunch of emotions that every student has experienced and so am i.  Those two years i’ve had gave me a valuable lessons and realizations.All the works that i have done from the chaos will never end but i’ll continue to fight for what is right and what is wrong.I will always cherish the precious memories in my heart and as a pioneer, i will not forget what did my school made me so special to have people that i have met from 2 years who made me so special and fully accepted from who i am.

I.

I stayed in my old school within 9 years with anxiety. All of those ended when i become a junior high school student.I had the worst anxiety last 2 years ago, I was a graduating student when i had that condition.It all started when i failed a subject and my adviser told me that i might be having summer class which made my mental health have a worst breakdown unexpectedly It took me 2-3 weeks without going to school.I’ve been locking myself in my room crying and screaming what will i do to myself I really wanted to hurt myself but i was too scared to do that even though i was already suicdal. I was really scared going back to school because I’ve been thinking about how people will accept me after i had this condition but my mom and my aunt really helped alot they called the school to seek for a help and they cooperated. In the end, i continued my journey and got my jhs diploma.

Last year, I’ve decided to move to another school which made me anxious again because of the surrounding.From 1st day to present my mom brings me to the school from 5:30am and i always appreciate that because all the works that she has done for me.I always do my priorities not only a student but also a daughter of her. A young daughter who has a mission to take care of her parents and it’s what they deserve.My dad is in abroad he goes home dependently from the company.Both of them gave their very best to make me feel better and happy and yes, i am happy and thankful that i have parents like them. 

When i first entered in my new school, my classmates were really different from my school.They were so genuine and friendly. I’ve never experienced having a section who biases someone to be in.But they considered everyone as their family and i felt that.We helped and understood each other. We shared our own stories openly. I will cherish them because they made me special and accepted from who i am and that’s one of the best things i wanted to experience they made it come true.

II.

Every student has a goal in life and it is to learn something more.As a normal person, i have duties or roles in my existence . I can be a daughter, a student,a worker or more and one of my goals is to learn and apply it in my daily life.Because once i’ve encountered those things that made me changed as a whole. I will tell it to my future kids what i have learned when i was in their stage too.Everything that surrounds us has something to tell us that we still don’t know and i take the responsibility to  analyze and discover it.Because as what the scientists said, our mind is the most powerful tool that we can use that’s why people invent things and we create things creatively because of our minds.

As a student, i have experienced procrastinating alot until now and i admit that i still have to change my time management because I usually panic at the time and i often sleep at 12-1 am. There were times i only had 30 minutes of sleep but i still have to wake up even though it was really short sleep because it will be wasteful efforts if i didn’t wake up and i usually commute whenever i go home.I have limitations i don’t usually use my time as a student but also give myself a leisure time to reduce stress.But also, i should limit myself from technology. Since the technology is a powerful source and discovery. We, ourselves should take the responsibility to manage how to use it in an advantageous way.

Because of limitations, I completed my requirements at a time with or without procrastination atleast you know your limits and how to handle it. Requirements aren’t that easy you should take efforts on it you shouldn’t rush it just for grades make it as an oppurtunity to express yourself from all the hardworks you will give to that requirement. Because not only in school but when you started working already.

III.

I’ve enountered alot of competent teachers since I moved in FEU-A and it was the best experience to have them as my professors because i learned more aboutthe things that i should care about specially in politics. They made me to realize that i shouldn’t be silent from all the situations that are happening now. Because in this generation, We are the future of change. Fight for what is right and what is wrong.

In this phase, I’m in graduating phase again,  It may be difficult for me because of the things i have encountered all the griefs and suffers that i’ve experienced my family and friends are there to help and support me.Although, I still what are the things that i will take in college and i’m still undecided about my course i have alot of options that i want to try and experience but i realized i have to follow my heart and what’s really my interest or something that i am really passionate about.My parents talked to me that they support my decisions and that’s the best feeling that i feel when I heard from my two ears that they accepted my decision.

I therefore conclude that all of these hardships that i have experienced will still continue to the future.Being a student will never be easy it’s part of your normal life as person. It is also a part of the challenge you’ll be facing until you reach your goal that you want to achieve.FEU-A gave me alot of precious memories that i have never experienced from my school and i am thankful that these people exist in my life and gave me a hope to change and find out my truly self.

[ofstarsandvibranium]

Right Person, Wrong Number: Part 7

Fandom: Marvel (Wrong Number AU)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: After a break up with the love of your life, you move to New York City to pursue your dream of photography. There, you end up getting a text from an unknown number.

A/N: pushing back their meeting by one chapter. PLEASE DON’T HATE ME FOR IT.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6

6:30 in the morning....

You: It should be a sin to be up this early in the morning.

Bucky: I know what you mean.

You: Why are YOU up so early, my good sir?

Bucky: WELL my lady, I have matters that need my attention.

You: Work?

Bucky: Yeah. Work. 

Bucky: so what are you doing this fine morning?

You: fighting the coffee machine at work.

You: i’m losing...

Bucky: i’m dating a loser?

You: when have we EVER said we’re dating?

Bucky: uuuhhhhhhh GOTTA GO!

You: Buckyyy!

You: Come baaaack!

You: Pleeeaaase!!!!

You: I’M PREGNANT WITH YOUR CHILD!

Bucky: 1) unlikely since we’ve ever met and 2) I’m sorry! But really! I gotta go! I’ll talk to you later!

You: ugh fiiiiine!

Bucky had that photoshoot with Sheer Magazine at 9:30am but he still needed to take care of some things at work. So he went in early, despite his mind telling him not to.

At his desk, he looked over proposals and reports from the lab to see how prototypes are going and whatnot. Sam came knocking at his door with two coffees and a bag of pastries hanging from his mouth.

“You’re a lifesaver, dude!” Bucky cheered as he set down his pen, helping Sam with the bag and drinks.

“Had to fight some teenager in line for it, so yeah. I’m a goddamn hero. Anyway, how’s the pile going?”

Bucky slammed his hand on the small pile to his left, “This is the done pile,” he then pointed to the very large pile to his right, “That’s the not done pile.

Sam grimaced, “Yikes. Need help with that?”

“I’ve been needing help and, ya know, you’re co-partner. I don’t even know why these all keep coming to me!”

“Because everyone knows how reliable you are.”

“If you’re o unreliable, why are you still working here?” Bucky asked with a smirk.

Sam rolled his eyes, “Because you’d be bored out of your mind if I was gone.”

“Uuuuggghhhh!!!!” Wanda heard you groan from the break room. 

She peeked her head in with an amused expression, “You okay?”

“This coffee maker hates me! I’ve been trying to get it to work for fifteen minutes!”

Wanda walks over to you, looks at the coffee machine, then back at you, “Maybe it would help if you had it plugged in.” she held up the cord.

You groaned, “Goddammit. I’m so stupid and tired!” You took the cord and plugged it in. You then pushed the on button and the machine came to life, “You’re my hero, Wanda Maximoff. Will you marry me?”

She snorted, “Ask again with you’re not fighting a coffee machine.” she pat your head and exited the break room. 

You took out your phone and texted Bucky:

You: sooooo....the coffee machine wasn’t plugged in the entire time

You: I’m a fool

Bucky: you’re so precious, you know that?

You: I’m not precious. I’m a tired and stressed out fool.

Wanda pops into the room again, “Hey, once you’re done, Maria wants to go over today’s shoot.” you gave her a thumbs up and she was gone again.

When Bucky received another message from you, he didn’t even think twice about looking at it. He read it over and snorted out a laugh, breaking Sam out of his concentration, “Text from your girl again?”

“Yeah,” he didn’t even try to deny it anymore. You were definitely his girl in his mind, “She’s just having a rough morning. She was trying to get the coffee machine to work only to find out it was never plugged in.”

“She’s a mess,” Sam said chuckling and shaking his head.

Bucky sighed, “Yeah, but she’s my mess. Anyway, what time do we have to be at the shoot?”

“They want us there half an hour early to go over the suits and stuff,” he looked at his watch, “So we have another two hours.”

Bucky went back to his chat with you:

Bucky: you’re still precious nonetheless

You: thanks. you’re cool, i guess.

Bucky: way to boost a guy’s ego, sweetheart.

You: ;D

You: anyway, gotta go now. need to prep for this shoot! ttylyd

Bucky: talk to you later....????

You: You dork. Talk to you later you dork

Bucky: ooohhhh

Bucky: HEY!

Part 8

TAGLIST IS CLOSED

@wishrains @learisa @lowkeysebby @moniquikiki @goodnightwife @yknott81 @sideeffectsofyou @benditlikegumby @ireallyneedcoolusername @sendingmyrevenge @sebsunshinestan @eyesofgoldenambers @joebob24 @theglowstickofdestiny @ambivalence-is-me @doctoranon@ediblemurderer @laheyakins @cucumberinmyass @funerals-with-cake@pop-princess08 @bxchanansbarnes @whitewolfbabylon @merlinlover @tranquility-or-chaos @thebunkerofatlas @wisestydia-15 @hellostarposts @x-marvel-superheroes-x @marveltrash99

#Bucky Barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes imagine #bucky x reader #marvel #au #wrong number au