#That might have been the 2nd worst smell ever ...

[pawsitivevibe]

I don't know if this is just a thing in most online breed communities or what, but the English Cocker groups are obsessed with feeding raw and pushing raw and home-cooked and what not.

When I was really into the Silken Windhound groups when we thought we might get one, they were the same. Big raw pushers. I will say that I don't really see it in the many Mudi groups I'm in. There's a higher population of Europeans in those though, so I do wonder if the raw obsession is a really North American thing and that's why? Or it just varies by breed? Oh especially because different breeds draw different people? (ie ECS have a lot of older white women)

#I'm not anti raw feeding really. Well I'm anti feeding my dogs it lol #Also if your dog has been fed raw I don't really want it to lick me. I'm good without salmonella thanks. #I still have war flashbacks from the raw fed dog that vomited all over the surgery ward and down the hallway at the vet I used to work at #That was one of the most disgusting deep cleans I ever had to do 🤢 #That might have been the 2nd worst smell ever ... #The worst smell was when someone brought in their dog who'd died at home but they'd left it outside in a garbage bag over the weekend ... #That was so disgusting oh my god

[mama-scarebear]

My first time writing in. So sorry you’re dealing with all the creepy, ill-mannered, disrespectful guys on here. Definitely the worst thing about tumblr. I feel like mommies definitely get the worst of it. It understandably chases a lot of them away, which fucking sucks for us LGs who absolutely LOVE seeing & hearing from mommies who are all about LGs & the MD/LG dynamic. You seem tough and like the one who typically does the scaring, however I, and I’m sure lots of others, totally understand if these dudes have gotten on your last nerve.

Don’t know if sharing this little fantasy will make your night better, but I hope it does 😊. You shouldn’t feel like you’re the one who’s gotta provide the kinky fun all the time 😋

I can’t get the idea out of my mind of Mommy telling me we are going to have such a “special night” together while she straps and secures me into a high chair. She tells me there will be lots of wine, candles, lingerie and orgasms, which makes me super squirmy and drippy with excitement, as of course I’ve been on orgasm denial for over a month. She then begins to push spoonful after spoonful of undisclosed mush into my mouth which I assume had to be some sort of chicken & gravy baby food. The taste and smell make me wanna gag, but Mommy just told me I might not only get 1 orgasm tonight, but multiple and I didn’t wanna do anything to risk that whatsoever. Feeling full and like that first jar of baby food will never end she quickly pulls out another jar of equally disgusting green colored mush. By the end of the 2nd jar I’m gagging, covered in baby food from what seems like head to toe, looking as pathetic as possible. She laughs triumphantly, as if that was her intent from the get go, and comments how messy a baby I am, but not as messy as I probably will be by the end of the night. Which strikes fear in my core and makes me blush a bright shade of pink, while at the same time causes me to drip wetness into my padding. I involuntarily squeeze my legs together. She calls me pathetic and says I’m clearly way too much of a helpless baby to satisfy her tonight. I visibly start to pout which makes me look even more pathetic. She giggles and says, “did you really think when Mommy talked about wine, lingerie and orgasms you would be taking part? Aww that’s so cute. Sorry I forgot you are too little to understand adult talk. Mommy meant she was going to call the really hot woman she met at the bar the other night to come over so the two of us can have playtime.” I start visibly tearing up, overwhelmed by the loss of the ability to have an adult kinky orgasm-filled night with Mommy, but also by the fact Mommy needed someone else to satisfy her. She sees the tears welling up in my eyes and says, “Oh don’t worry baby you’re too little to leave alone, so Mommy is going to set you up in the playpen in Mommy’s room so I can keep an eye on you the whole time.” After hearing that I no longer could hold back the tears, knowing not only was Mommy going to fuck someone else that night, but that I was going to be forced to watch the two of them sitting in my diaper. She immediately shushes me & shoves a pacifier into my mouth and says, “aww you seem upset baby. I think someone might have to go potty. Hopefully you don’t try to hold it cause it would be awfully embarrassing to lose control in front of Mommy’s friend huh?”

Oh sweetie you don't even realise youre being Mommy's little helper. You whimpering and crying in the corner in your diapers is going to help me have an extra special night with another woman. Luckily you'll be in your little pj's and have been fed and have blankies and soft toys to play with if you ever manage to get those tears in check. Unluckily though I tend to fall asleep after sex so you'll be alright to sleep in your playpen won't you sweetie pie? I'll tend to your swollen padding the next day. Try not to squirm too much I hear it helps.

#Thank you for the lovely little fantasy #Definitely helped cheer me up

[danceworshipper]

Stupid In Love

Natsai Onai x gender neutral reader

2nd person, post Hogwarts, 1.3k words

Warning for sheer second hand embarrassment

[This is my first x reader fic. I'm not sure if I'm proud of it dnsfhidshg but Natty needs more stuff in her tag]

Despite crushing on Natty for your entire Hogwarts career, you never told her.

You thought she knew, with her constant flirting and teasing. You were sure that Natty could see right through you when you flushed and tripped over your words. She had to have caught you staring more times that you could count. If you were ever to just work up the courage and say it, certainly her response would be: "I know."

What you weren't sure of was if Natty flirted with you so much because the feelings were mutual or because she just liked your reactions. Besides, she was a little flirty with everyone, right? Maybe she did it more often with you, but it didn't have to mean anything. If she liked you, she would probably tell you. Natty always had incredible courage. She hadn't said anything; she must not like you like that.

It was a poor excuse for being a coward and you knew it.

It took a full year after graduation for you to finally just tell her already. You'd both been busy with work and new adventures, and it'd been a while since the two of you had been able to have a free moment to get together. Natty had invited you to her new favorite restaurant, a small place she'd found while tracking a pair of dark wizards who were after some poor old woman's family heirloom. The table she'd chosen to sit at was a bench by the kitchen door - a single bench, so the two of you had to sit next to each other, too close for you to be totally calm about the situation. Though, to be fair, you could have been across the restaurant and still not feel totally calm about spending one on one time with the beautiful woman who was now about three inches to your right.

You didn't know what came over you, really. Natty was excitedly talking about how she'd finally caught those bastards by using a spell to mimic the sound of a hippogriff and you couldn't help yourself. She just looked so pretty with that fire in her eyes, sitting so close to you so you could feel warmth radiating out from her. And wow she smelled good, that had to be a new perfume, right? And was she always this tall or did she get another growth spurt? And -

"I love you." Well why the bloody hell did you say that?!

Her story stopped dead in its tracks, hands stuck in a gesture meant to help you visualize the fight, shock clear on her face as she stared you down.

"Uh, I mean," you began, but what could you even say? That you meant it in a friendly, sort of admiration way? That might have been a good idea, actually, if you weren't so clearly embarrassed. She was too good at reading you to fall for a lie like that.

Natty blinked hard and lowered her hands to the table.

"Well," she said, finally breaking eye contact and giving you a chance to breathe a little.

"Sorry," you said. "I don't know what came over me."

"Do not be sorry," Natty said slowly, looking at the table. "It was just unexpected. I did not think you felt so strongly for me."

You buried your face in your hands, humiliated. She wasn't taking it well at all. Who would? You just said "I love you" out of nowhere. That was, quite possibly, the worst way you could have gone about this whole thing. What was wrong with you? You thought about just leaving so poor Natty wouldn't have to let you down gently.

That was, naturally, when the waiter came by with your food. He didn't linger long, picking up on the extreme awkwardness easily enough and bolting without even asking if the two of you needed anything else. You couldn't blame him. He probably didn't get paid enough to deal with things like this.

"How long have you felt this way?" Natty asked, picking up her fork like this was a normal dinner conversation. Her hands were shaking slightly.

Sure, fine. You were talking about this, apparently. Following her lead and making an attempt to stay calm, you picked up your fork and played with your food a little.

"I don't know," you admitted. "A long time."

"Why did you never say anything?"

"You didn't seem interested."

Her fork dropped with a clatter; you looked up at her on instinct.

"I didn't seem - ?" Natty floundered with her words a moment. "How much more obvious could I have been?"

"What?" It was your turn to be shocked.

"I told you that I wanted to invite you for a butterbeer the first time we went to Hogsmeade together!" she said indignantly. "I told you more about my father and childhood than I have told anyone else! I shared my hopes and dreams with you! I outright told you that I wouldn't mind getting you naked twice!"

You flushed remembering those moments from seventh year. Ah, yeah, that did seem obvious now.

"I thought you were just teasing me," you said weakly. "We were close friends. I didn't even consider that you would like me."

Natty shook her head in bewilderment. "I thought you were not interested in me. You ignored my every hint."

"No, no, I'm just stupid." You buried your face again and groaned.

She huffed, hopefully in amusement. "At least you can admit that."

"I'm sorry," you said again. You weren't sure what for, this time, but it felt right.

Somehow, the two of you managed to eat your meals. The food was very good, just as she had promised, but it was hard to focus on. Natty had basically just said that your feelings were somewhat mutual, at least back in school, but she hadn't expanded much, and now you sat in silence. Why couldn't you have just asked her out like a normal person? You ruined everything before it could even begin. You didn't even say "I love you" on the first date, you said it before any date! Natty was probably regretting ever being into you in the first place.

"Well," she said, finally, after you'd both sat staring at your empty plates a bit too long, "I hope you don't consider that our first date, because I must admit, it was awful."

Words failed you. "Huh?"

Her gorgeous, gorgeous smirk was back. "I spent a lot of time this year trying to force my feelings away, so I cannot tell you I love you just yet, but maybe in a couple of hours."

She was teasing you again. Were you bright red? It felt like you were bright red. There might have been steam coming out of your ears, too.

"I - "

"We should go get dessert at the bakery by my place. Your treat, since I'm paying for dinner," she winked.

"O-okay?" What were you supposed to do, disagree?

Natty pulled some galleons out of her bag, enough to cover the meal and then some, probably, and then took your hand - she took your hand - and led you outside. It was hot outside. Or were you just hot? Natty was hot, that was for sure. And you meant it literally. Your hand almost felt like it was burning where she held it, except burning wasn't supposed to feel good, was it? This did. You didn't think holding hands was meant to be this overwhelming.

Still not quite believing your luck, you turned to look at her. She was smiling at you, a real, genuine smile, and finally your humiliation eased fully and you managed a grin.

"There you go," she said. "Took you a bit longer than I expected to recover."

And she winked.

So, yeah, she was figuratively hot, too. It was all very, very overwhelming.

At least when she leaned in to press a kiss on your cheek, you didn't faint.

It was a near thing though.

#hogwarts legacy #natsai onai #natsai onai x reader #my writing #awkwardness and fluff

[cyberrat]

67th Batch Of Fics: 2nd Fill

Hanzo/Cassidy – Trucker AU – Part 27 – Hanzo is his own worst nightmare :)

---

Hanzo stop staring at his reflection in the window glass and shifts to a more upright position on his seat. They’ve been driving for a good two hours now and the fat bastard has been blessedly quiet during it with only the radio gently playing music in the background.

Now, though, he suddenly reaches over and clicks that off.

Hanzo peers at him and feels his mood sour seeing just how pleased Cassidy seems to be with himself as he sits there, elbow on the edge of his side’s window, one hand on the steering wheel of his truck. He looks stupid good like that too. Good enough to suck off.

Fuck.

He scrubs his face with both hands while Cassidy drawls: “Sooo?”

“So, what?” he mutters back. He is already hoarse from sucking Roadhog’s dick. He wonders how long it will stay that way.

“You back in the land of the livin’? Didn’t think suckin’ his dick would knock you out like that. Been happy as a babe with a bottle, huh?”

Hanzo can feel his face screwing up into a frown. He does not want to admit that his stomach still feels bloated with cum and he’s floating on the edges of whatever that was that had happened at the end of that encounter there.

He’d felt weirdly vulnerable and soft around the edges; like a crab that freshly pushed out of its shell. Like Cassidy would only need to grab at him a bit too hard and it would permanently damage him.

It’s a bit scary, looking back at it now, but the bastard had been gentle enough. Almost sweet, really… herding him back into the truck and giving him some water to nurse on while he’d talked to his friend.

“Aw, don’t be that way. You enjoyed yourself, I could tell. Got all glassy-eyed an’ stuff. Bet he’d’ve gotten you to call him daddy if I’d let you sit there for a bit longer.”

Hanzo doesn’t reply, just quietly seething … or trying to anyway, while his body does not feel at all equipped to something like that right now. Not when with every movement he can feel the cum in his stomach sloshing, reminding him again of just how good it had felt to kneel at the side of a road and suck off the biggest man he’s ever seen in his life.

He can still smell him. He can still taste him. He keeps rubbing his tongue against the roof of his mouth just to have some sensation because otherwise he might start sucking on his damn thumb to tide himself over for the moment.

Cassidy seems to take his silence as approval because he chortles like a doddery old man, pleased as punch, and reaches over to ostensibly turn the radio back on, if Hanzo weren’t stopping him with a moody: “Did that stranger give you his number?”

Cole pauses. He seems to have to think for a moment about what Hanzo is even talking about. Hanzo has no idea whether he just plays or actually is that dumb. He still can’t properly assess what Cole is and isn’t capable of. There is just something… off about him. Like there is much more to him than meets the eye.

“Ooh, that guy. Nah, he didn’t give me his number. Was mighty interested, though.”

Hanzo exhales roughly, his body heating up despite himself.

“You would have liked him giving it to you? Would you have contacted him?”

The thought of him being whored out by the fat bastard is strangely… exciting. He has to drag his palms against his thighs, his skin prickling all over. His head is still feeling a bit fuzzy from the encounter earlier; that must be why the prospect seems so attractive.

Cassidy takes a bit longer to answer than Hanzo would have thought.

“Hmmm… Maybe. Don’t think so.”

That surprises Hanzo who sits up a bit straighter, trying to peer into Cassidy’s face to determine whether or not he is lying to him. His face is relaxed and he seems earnest enough… but who knows?

Cole gives him a little side glance before focusing back on the road.

“Don’t believe me, huh?”

“Why should I?”

“Fair enough.” Cole lazily scratches his unkempt beard. Hanzo loathes how the sound makes him feel giddy and like he wants to rub his face against Cole’s cheeks like a damn cat.

Disgusting. Dishonorable.

“You know, your cunt’s a good bargaining chip. We’re lucky you’re a pretty li’l whore. But that don’t mean I’ll turn ya out for my personal gain, alright? If I let someone have a go at ya, it’s with a purpose.”

Hanzo bristles, his fingers briefly twitching toward a sidearm he’s not been wearing in a long time now. He should honestly put a bullet through the fat bastard’s head for even just talking to him this way.

“What are you talking about? What was the purpose of… earlier?”

“Hoggy? Why, he was a tremendous help to me. To us. You just don’t know it. An’ he can pull some strings to keep things nice an’ easy on the ah… roadtrip side o’ things. Got quite a few friends. Man of culture.”

Hanzo can still feel the phantom pressure of this cultured man’s cock against his tongue and when he thinks about it too long, he starts to salivate again.

“I bet,” he mutters just to be contrary and turns his head to stare back out the window.

“Moody, huh? Thought he’d have fucked that outta ya… but if he didn’t do the trick, nothin’ will.”

They’re quiet for a few minutes, Hanzo steaming in his anger because that’s what he does best. It also distracts him from his body’s symptoms of withdrawal.

However, Cassidy’s deep drawl pulls him back out of his meandering thoughts: “Sooo… you in?”

He turns and just stares at him. He has no idea what the bastard is talking about.

He also hates how good he looks, sitting there, looking like a fat, unwashed mongrel. He shudders and digs his nails into his palms.

“I mean playin’ along when I tell ya to. Can’t have ya makin’ a damn scene in the middle of a parkin’ lot or somethin’. People might think I’m forcin’ you.”

You are, he thinks immediately but pauses when he realizes… no… he isn’t. Not really.

He turns back toward the window and stares outside with a deep, angry frown. He just knows the bastard is getting off on this. No matter what he’s saying, he’s probably living his best damn life, playing at being a little pimp. Hanzo is no idiot. He knows damn well that he’s the most handsome guy this loser has had in probably a decade. If not ever.

He’s goddamn lucky he’s got a big, beefy dick.

Fuck, the things he does just to get his hands on Genji.

“...Yes. Alright.” Fuck.

#cyberratting writes stuff #hanzo/cassidy #trucker au

[ofhexes]

woah , i think i just saw SIRIUS BLACK ! there’s been so much happening lately that i totally forgot about the PUREBLOOD but i am glad to see HE/HIM still around . they always had wanted to be A BAR OWNER , i wonder how that’s going. the last i heard about them was that they might be involved with ORDER OF THE PHOENIX , but i’m not sure how true that is. besides, they always seemed LOYAL and DETERMINED . although , now that i think about it they were also HOT HEADED and IMPULSIVE . still the GRYFFINDOR alum always reminded me of I KNOW WHAT I AM by BAND OF SKULLS and SITTING LOOK OUT INTO THE RAIN ON A COLD WINTER NIGHT, THE SMELL OF LEATHER AND CIGARETTES, A FORCED SMILE ON THE FACE OF SOMEONE TRYING TO CONCEAL A SHATTERED HEART AND BROKEN SPIRIT . i hope they haven’t changed too much !

full name: sirius orion black 

nickname(s): siri, padfoot

fc: deaken bluman

dob: 2nd november

age: 21

gender: male

sexuality: pansexual

house: gryffindor

blood status: pureblood

patronus: a black dog, the same as his animagus form

occupation: owner of a bar called ‘The Grim’ in London

side: the order

bio:

born on november 1st to orion and walburga black, sirius was privileged since birth. being the heir to one of the more respected pureblood families meant that there was a giant weight on his shoulders and he felt that from a very young age. ever since he could talk he was told how to act and what was respectable behaviour in his parent’s eyes. he never really got the chance to be a child. but he never really blamed his parents for that. he blamed the traditions that came with being a pureblood. he hated the coldness of it all. all he really craved for was affection, though he barely got any.

but he tried his best to stay out of trouble and keep himself in line. even as he sat at family events bored out his mind he knew better than to misbehave. it wasn’t worth his mother’s wrath or his fathers disapproving look. he was a fairly quiet kid. other than a few snarky remarks here and there he really didn’t give his parents a reason to believe he would be anything other than the perfect heir they were raising him to be.

it was exceptionally lonely, however. other than his brother and his cousins he didn’t have that many friends. and living at grimmauld place was extremely isolating. he couldn’t just go out and play with the nearby kids cause they were “filthy muggles” according to his mother. some might question why his family choose to live beside muggles if they were apparently beneath them but sirius never did. so he spent his time in the library reading and teaching himself spells.

growing up his father was the person he looked up to the most. he loved spending time with him. and his main goal when he was little was to hear his father say he was proud of him.

he never did.

having spent most of his younger years surrounded by pureblood that all had the same beliefs on purity as his parents sirius’s view on others was somewhat swayed by them. but, as he grew older, he started to question why exactly where they better than others? yes, their blood was more “pure” but he didn’t really understand why that made them any superior. he spent more of his free time reading and a lot of the books he read were by half-bloods or muggle-borns and they seemed just as intelligent as any pureblood he knew. it was confusing to him. but he made sure to never question it out loud.

sirius’ first day at hogwarts was both the best and worst day of his life.

it was the best day because he met three people that would soon mean the world to him: james potter, remus lupin, and peter pettigrew. all three of them would play an important part in how sirius became who he ultimately was supposed to be. they taught him there was more to life than pureblood galas and acting like the respectable pureblood male who’s only job in life is to make sure he carries on the family name. they taught him to have fun, they brought out his mischievous side and brought him out of his shell. some might argue that sirius becoming more confident is a bad thing. but sirius wouldn’t change it for the world.

it was the worst day because he got sorted into gryffindor.  

he knew from the second the hat shouted out gryffindor that he was in trouble. he couldn’t remember a member of his family that wasn’t in slytherin and so he had made his way to the lion’s table with trembling hands. he had hoped he would have at least some time to deal with the sorting on his own. but the very next morning he had a letter from his mother saying how this must be a mistake. that he doesn’t belong in gryffindor and that they would sort it. but, deep down he knew he did belong there. deep down he knew he wouldn’t fit in with the other slytherin’s, he just didn’t want to admit it. and so he had ignored the letter and when mcgonogal had spoken to him about it the next day he told her everything was fine and he was happy being in gryffindor.

he sometimes regretted that decision even to this day.

something seemed to change in sirius’s mind the longer he was at hogwarts. the more time he spent with other wizard and witches from different backgrounds the more he realised that his families views were ridiculous. and with the war brewing, he knew he’d have an important choice on his hands. he’d have to choose between the friends he has made and the family that could destroy him if he left.

the choice came the summer before the start of his sixth year. his parents had finally had enough of his antics and sat him down to tell him they had decided he was to join the death eaters and finally make them proud. he was told that voldemort would be happy to have the black heir on his side and that he would be joining the war on his side. for the first time in his life, sirius was terrified. and he didn’t even think before he left in the middle of the night with just a bag of clothes and the money he had hidden in his room. he ran away in the night without a single world to anyone.

he never wanted to leave his family behind. especially not his brother. but he didn’t have a choice. he couldn’t be who they wanted him to be. he couldn’t follow down the path they had taken. he loved them but that just wasn’t enough. the war was wrong. and he could never stand on the side that harmed others just for existing. even if it broke a part of him to leave.

he never told anyone exactly why he had run away. though he had told his friends enough about his parents, and family in general, that he allowed them to come to their own conclusions and he doesn’t deny anything. but even though he felt resentment for those he was meant to call family and how he was treated in the end he couldn’t bring himself to tell anyone the truth. that betrayal was too much for him. and he didn’t want anyone knowing that his family were so lost in the wrong side they had officially joined the dark lords fight. he still had enough family pride to not let anyone go into azkaban just for his spite. he loved them too much to see them suffer. maybe he shouldn’t. but he couldn’t turn off that side of him.

part of him resented the war the most for driving him apart from his family.

his main goal now is to just move past everything and get on with his own life for the first time ever. he wants to fight for those that deserve a place in this world. he wants to prove that he is more than just his last name. so he used the money that his uncle alphard had left him after his passing to open up his own bar and create a space where everyone was welcome. he didn’t care if who walked through that door was a pureblood or a muggleborn, as long as they behaved and wanted a drink they were welcome. and it was a job much better suited to him than a ministry job would ever have been.

some wanted connections:

friends - other than the marauders obvs

sibling-like relationships

family friend - could still be on good terms or they could have heard of sirius’ disowning and turn their backs on him too

unlikely friendship - could be that they have been friends since they were little and even though they are polar opposites they just get on so well that they can’t not be friends

family members that don’t hate him are always a win

enemy - they have never gotten along and they will never get along and both are okay with this

frenemy - they hate each other but they are also kinda cool and if they hung out that would be awesome????

anything angsty tbh

#sirius:inspo #sirius:intro #sirius:wantedconnections #mhq:intro

[cupidsintern]

shot thru the heart, pt 4

pt 1 // pt 2 // pt 3

-

Billy was obviously in a pretty foul mood when Steve saw him at school the next day. He didn’t throw Steve a little “hey” of a nod like he’d started doing recently. Didn’t even really look up when Steve sat down. Steve figured Billy probably noticed someone stole his notebook which may or may not have had part of a love letter in the back of it and probably wanted to murder and or never again speak to whoever did it, but then again, maybe he just thought it had been lost?

Steve pulled shit out of his backpack in silence, even as their classmates talked around them, and Steve realized that recently, he and Billy had mostly only been talking to each other. Steve would have to go back to passing full days of school in next to silence if Billy found out about the notebook, and just when things were getting good

The classroom door opened.

A girl- Ellen something? was standing in the doorway in a red pleated skirt and one of those headbands with the hearts on springs. She was holding a basket of roses and a couple teddy bears- Oh my god.

“Valentine grams-” She was explaining to the teacher. As if Steve’s day could not get worse.

The test was going to be postponed for the three excruciating minutes it would take for her to compare notes with the seating chart and one by one hand out Valentines and Steve would just have to sit there wallowing in jealousy and misery.

Steve realized too late that the girl- Ellen… crap, Ellen Studebacker? He thinks?- little headband hearts bobbing, was walking over to him.

“Hi Steve,” Ellen smiled at him, tugging a red rose from her basket and handing it to him like she had probably done a hundred times this week. But he was special, everyone knew him.

The class chattered a little more- someone whistled, someone else laughed- Steve might as well have been deaf to all of it. He wasn't expecting a Valentine gram, only managed a “uh, thanks.” to the girl before she bobbed off on her merry way, and the teacher told them all to quiet down.

Steve got a Valentine gram. He had, a lot going on in his head right now. Way more than there usually was. He stayed up to an ungodly hour last night, later than he had since… you know. But he just couldn’t sleep, he’d felt like someone coated him in slime and he kept getting up to brush his teeth or pace and try hard as he could not to give in a jerk off-

But now he has this. A little heart shaped piece of paper with glitter and lace glued to it to let him know, some girl out there still thinks about him enough to send him a cheesy valentine. What was that thing Billy had said?

Plenty of bitches in the sea.

God he sounded like such a scumbag. Come to find out the guy writes sappy love letters, Steve could almost laugh. He opened up the little Valentine, carefully sliding the rose upright into his backpack before turning back to read:

To: Steve Harrington

2nd Period Class: Room 48

From:

Last category empty, instead of a name, or a “your secret admirer,” the sender had drawn a heart, with an arrow through it. Cartoonish blood dripped off the arrow’s tip.

The swerve of the uppercase S. The line on the H. The tail on the G.

And that stupid shot-through heart.

Steve’s own heart rate reached a yet-to-be-possible BPM he’d know that stupid perfect handwriting anywhere. It was Billy’s handwriting.

Billy sent this.

For a full couple of seconds, Steve drew a complete blank. Nothing happened, he didn’t blink, didn’t move, his heart didn’t beat, he wasn't even sure he breathed.

Then a million different thoughts came crashing down around his ears- almost made him flinch.

Oh my god Billy sent this. To him.

Was this for real? Was this some kind of sick fucked-up-Billy joke? He was just doing it to fuck with Steve’s head- but no. Then he probably would have signed it. Or written some random girl’s name. Not- not drawn a heart. Like the ones he drew in the margins of his notes,

And if Billy was… you know. That would actually make a lot of sense as to why he was such a fucking douchebag.

But what if he wasn't! God but what if he was.

Did he know about Steve?

But god, there wasn't anything to know was there. Steve didn’t- he had never-

Shit, they had a test in class right now, and Steve was sitting with an arrow through his chest and little fucking cartoon hearts around his head.

-

It was just like the universe to make Billy’s main notebook go missing the day before a big fucking test. It was even more like it to set him up to be running on no hours of sleep and sit down in second period to find those stupid fucking Valentine grams being handed out.

In the split seconds before Steve’s name got called, Billy sort of hoped the gram he bought had been lost. They were pretty anonymous to buy, that’s what he’d said to himself when he filled one out, folded it up more times than necessary and jammed it in the little heart shaped box. But now, faced with the consequences of his moment of weakness, he could not be filled with more regret.

Harrington just sat there too, looking dumbstruck turning the Valentine over and over before the test started. Like he wasn’t a bombshell on the worst of hair days- he didn’t even have bad hair days.

Billy was determined to not look, not stare at the back of Steve’s head like he had every other day this year. But for the split second he looked up, Steve was turned ever so slightly to the side, his perfect nose and perfect forelock illuminated by the sunshine pouring in from dusty classroom windows. He was smelling the rose.

Billy left class as quick as he could, the test was pretty easy, but no doubt Harrington would still be in there struggling for at least ten minutes, which gave Billy more than enough time to cool his nerves before steve inevitably cae to find him at lunch like he’d done for the past couple days, just to say hi.

But he didn’t see Steve at lunch. Probably should be a relief, but Billy couldn’t help but feel his heart sinking a little. And then kicking himself for caring at all when really he shouldn't. This was nothing, just like all the other times.

Billy went to switch textbooks at his locker, more of a nerd move than he would usually allow himself but he wanted to at the very least have an okay school day.

But when he went to open his backpack, there was his notebook. He did a double take. He could have sworn the thing was missing. He had dumped his backpack out and turned it inside out on his bedroom floor, got pencil shavings all over the place in the process, and it wasn't there.

But now here it was. Billy opened it.

A note fell out.

“I took your notebook- sorry. Here’s it and the notes back. Probably be easier to study together sometime anyway. If you’re still down.

Thanks for the rose.”

Billy probably had six separate heart attacks in the span of the couple seconds it took to read the note over again. Then he laughed out loud, in the heart-splattered hallway right in front of his locker, didn't care if anyone looked at him weird.

“Thanks for the rose.”

-

this was gonna be the last part but honestly i might write one more just cause i want them to kiss. lmk what u think lads :3

#harringrove #harringrove fic #harringrove fanfic #my fic #steve harrington #billy hargrove #billy x steve #steve x billy

[homoose]

Love Has a Learning Curve: Part III (x reader)

Summary: Spencer has to face Anita and Sam— and learns a little about reader’s past. Reader and Spencer babysit for Michael and Henry. 

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!reader

Category: fluff, a tiny smidge of hurt/comfort

Warnings/Includes: implied smut, drinking/alcohol, vague mentions of previous emotional/mental abuse (Owen)

Word count: 4.2k

a/n: This picks up right after the end of the tmsidk epilogue! I also worked two requests in here.

Series Masterlist

———

Spencer stacked the last of the tiny chairs in the center of the room, stepping back and dusting his palms on his trousers. He looked over to see Y/N playing a sort of container tetris with the bins of supplies in her closet. He smiled a little to himself, his head still in the metaphorical clouds with her confession of love. 

She maneuvered the bins to her satisfaction and shut the closet doors, pushing against them to squeeze everything in until the latch clicked. She turned to see him watching her and wiped imaginary sweat from her brow. She gave him a wink and a grin, and he was falling all over again. 

She perched on the corner of her desk with a tired sigh, and he made his way across the room to her. She reached for him as soon as he was within arms length, wrapping her arms around his middle. She snuggled into his chest, and he pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “Let’s go to dinner to celebrate.”

She laughed and looked up at him. “Celebrate what?”

He shrugged. “You. Summer.” He brought his arms around her shoulders. “Love.”

She smiled and scrunched her nose at him. “You just want me to say it again.”

His lips twitched. “Maybe.”

Her hands came to rest on his hips, her fingers squeezing lightly. “I love you.”

“I love you,” he answered immediately and rather dreamily. 

“Yo, Y/L/N!” 

The call of her name from the hallway startled them both. Anita began to step over the threshold, continuing, “You ready to get absolutely crunk tonight or— oh.” She stopped dead in her tracks, eyes tracking Spencer’s frame. “Dr. Reid.”

Spencer stepped back from Y/N, smiling a little awkwardly at the formality and giving a wave. “Mrs. Lopez. It’s, um— it’s nice to see you again.”

Anita hummed noncommittally, and Spencer shoved his hands in his pockets. She turned her attention back to Y/N. “So, are we going out or what?”

Y/N groaned. “Anita, I’m exhausted. Can we keep it low key? Oh!” Her eyes lit up with an idea, and Spencer could already see where this was going. “Spence and I were gonna get dinner to celebrate, um— summer. Call Sam; we’ll all just go together.”

Anita spared a glance in Spencer’s direction before sighing heavily. “Fine. But I’m drinking.” With that, she turned on her heel and disappeared back into the hallway.

Y/N chuckled. “I swear she’s not actually an alcoholic.” Her eyes landed on Spencer’s face, and she smiled gently. “I know you weren’t expecting a Meet the Friends night, but it’ll be fun.”

“She hates me,” Spencer surmised.

“She does not hate you.” Y/N stood from the desk, pressed a reassuring peck to his lips. “She’s just… protective. That’s all.”

…

Y/N was entirely wrong. Anita Lopez hated him. That was the only explanation for her absolutely icy demeanor. 

They’d met up with her and Sam at a Mexican restaurant in Tenleytown. Sam was wonderfully kind and funny, even apologizing for having “flipped him the bird” the last time she saw him. And it was a good thing Sam was being friendly, because Anita was decidedly… less so. 

Spencer understood completely of course. He’d broken Y/N’s heart. Penelope had been ready to hunt her down at the mere thought of him being hurt. As Y/N’s best friend, Anita had every right to be wary of him. She had every right to hate him. He’d just... hoped that she wouldn’t. 

Thankfully, Y/N and Sam were more than happy to carry the conversation— he and Anita chiming in here and there. He learned that Sam worked as an attorney at a firm specializing in family law. She and Anita had two kids, Riley and Sidney— one in 2nd grade and the other in preschool. 

“Y/N is still Riley’s favorite teacher ever,” Sam told him. “I mean, it helps when she’s also your aunt, I guess.”

“He didn’t get any special treatment,” Y/N insisted. At Sam’s raised eyebrow, she laughed. “Okay, maybe a little special treatment. But you raised a good kid! And I can’t help it that he was the most trustworthy of the bunch.”

“Oh my god, the field trip,” Sam groaned, rubbing a hand over her face. 

“The field trip!” Y/N turned to Spencer. “My group of kiddos from two years ago— they were kind of a tough group.”

“Kind of?” Anita squeaked. “Let me just tell you, I can hear them through the floor. The entire middle school is literally dreading the day they make it upstairs.”

Sam piped in, “I chaperoned on said field trip to the zoo. And I vowed that I will never, ever go on another field trip. Ever.”

“What happened?” Spencer asked incredulously. 

“So many things,” Sam baited. 

Y/N covered her mouth to stifle a cackle, leaning a bit into Spencer’s shoulder. He couldn’t help but smile, looking around at the three women. Even Anita was chuckling, and she’d barely cracked a smile all evening. 

“Okay, so many things happened,” Y/N started, “but the worst was—”

“The poop!” Sam wheezed. “The poop was the worst part of that day. The smell alone, oh my god.”

Y/N composed herself as best she could, gesturing over the table. “So after this nightmare of a day, we get on the bus, and there’s this— smell.”

“The absolute worst smell you’ve ever smelled, Spencer,” Sam assured. 

“It’s awful. It’s so bad,” Y/N agreed. “And I’m literally going seat to seat, checking to make sure no one has shit themselves.”

“You could not pay me enough,” Anita chimed in. 

“And I get to the seat that is very clearly where the smell is coming from. And I can’t, like— hold my nose, right? I don’t want to embarrass him!” Y/N turned to Spencer with flushed cheeks. “So I ask, ‘Sweetheart, did you have a bathroom accident?’”

Spencer let out a nervous laugh. “Oh no.” 

“But oh, it wasn’t a bathroom accident,” Y/N clarified, waving her hand. “No, no— that would be too easy. This child had somehow managed to obtain copious amounts of poop from one of the zoo animals and packed it into his lunchbox to take home.”

Spencer could feel his jaw drop. “Oh my god.”

“So, he unzips his lunchbox and it’s just— overflowing with shit.” Y/N dropped her head into her hands, overcome with giggles. 

“And don’t forget the worst part: his mom was on the field trip!” Sam lamented, throwing her hands up. “I will never understand.”

Y/N lifted her head with an exasperated grin, and he wasn’t sure if it was the story or the fact that she loved him, but Spencer felt like he could float away into outer space. 

“I told you I had a lot of poop stories,” Y/N reminded him, drawing another round of laughs. As they composed themselves, the waiter came by their table to clear some of their plates and refill their water.

“God, I said we were keeping it low key, and then I drank half a pitcher,” Y/N complained, pushing back from the table. “I’m just gonna go to the bathroom. I’ll be right back.” 

She gave Spencer a reassuring smile, and he tried not to panic as she stood and left him with Sam and Anita. And because the universe was toying with him, at that exact moment, Sam’s phone began to ring. She pulled it from her pocket with a sigh. 

“Shit— I’ve been waiting on this call all day.” She kissed Anita’s cheek and stood from the table. “So sorry; I’ll just be five minutes, I promise.”

With that, it was just the two of them, staring intently at their water glasses. Spencer was certain he should say something, but he wasn’t sure what. Anita broke the silence first. 

“You know what’s annoying?”

Spencer wasn’t sure he wanted to know. “Considering that the issues one might classify as an annoyance vary for each individual person, there are over seven billion potential answers to that question.”

Anita tilted her head with an unimpressed purse of her lips. Spencer hedged, “And I understand now that it was probably rhetorical.”

“I actually kind of like you.” She leaned across the table with an irritated sigh. “I wanted to hate you, but I don’t.”

He cleared his throat. “Well, I’m, um— I’m glad to hear that.”

“You’re good for her. Smart, humble, kind. Enamored with her, as you should be,” she deadpanned. She dropped her chin into her hand. “Almost as hot as she is.”

He laughed a little at that. “Thank you?”

“You’re welcome.” She dropped her hand back to the table. She still didn’t crack a smile, and her gaze bore into him. “I don’t know how much you know about Owen, and she’d probably kill me for saying anything. But he was a real piece of shit.”

This was not the direction he thought this conversation would take. He didn’t know anything about Owen; he’d tried not to think too much about anyone Y/N might have been with before him. 

“It didn’t start out that way.” She drew her brows together. “Well, I don’t know— maybe he was always an asshole, and he was just good at hiding it.”

She shook her head and leaned back in her chair. “The point is, I didn’t know he was treating her like garbage until it was too late. He was already all…” She gestured wildly around her head. “In her head, telling her lies about herself, fucking her up, isolating her. For years he did that. And then it took her years to get him out of her head. To— unlearn all the lies. To build herself back up.” 

He could see her grinding her teeth, trying to calm down. He was intensely grateful to not be on the receiving end of Anita’s wrath. He was also immensely glad that Y/N had a friend like that. And his blood absolutely boiled at the thought of her ever feeling anything less than adored. 

“You’re a fed or whatever, so I shouldn’t be telling you this,” she continued, “but I would love nothing more than to put that fucker six feet under.” She ran her hand through her hair, and when she continued her voice was the quietest he’d ever heard it. “All that to say, I… I wasn’t there for her when Owen was destroying her from the inside out. And I will never let that happen again.” 

Anita locked eyes with him and her voice was resolved. “I like you, Spencer. And I want to keep it that way. So, just— don’t give me a reason not to.”

She didn’t drop her gaze, and he couldn’t quite think of the appropriate response. He opened his mouth, and then closed it again. His brain was still fixated on the idea that anyone had ever hurt the loveliest and kindest woman he’d ever met.

“Where’s Sam?” Spencer turned just as Y/N slid back into the chair beside him, a comforting hand coming to rest on his knee. 

“Some bullshit from the office that her idiot partner can’t handle.” Anita raised her eyebrows at Spencer, and he nodded minutely. She shifted her gaze back to Y/N with a grin. “Don’t worry. I didn’t scare him too much.”

…

“Easy.” Spencer steadied Y/N with a hand on her waist as they made the way up the stairs to his apartment. 

“Jesus, I’m so sorry. I just— really can’t drink like I used to.” She clutched a little at the railing, and he held his breath until they were at the top of the stairs. 

He slipped an arm back around her waist as they crossed to his apartment door, fumbling with his keys and fighting back a shiver as she snuggled close and ran her hand low over his tummy. 

“Can’t believe I’m tipsy from a couple margaritas.”

“To be fair, you had four,” he chuckled, turning the key and pushing open the door. 

“Okay, okay,” she relented. “But I used to be able to have a whole pitcher and be totally fine.”

“A pitcher?” Spencer laughed as he locked the door and turned to face her. “I can’t even have one without being completely incapacitated.”

She ran her hands up from his waistband, over his chest, and wrapped them around his neck. “Mmm, so you’re a lightweight.”

“Very much so,” he confirmed, bringing his hands to her hips. 

“Just one more sweet thing to love about you, sugar.” 

He couldn’t stop the smile from stretching across his face at the endearment, the way that North Carolina dripped syrupy and thick over every syllable. She pulled him down to meet her in a sweet kiss, quickly deepening it as he dug his fingers into the softness of her hips. Her hands wound into his hair, tugging lightly and holding him close. 

He broke away to rest his forehead against hers and catch his breath. She laced their fingers together and leaned on him while she kicked off her shoes. He toed his own off and then allowed her to lead him toward his bedroom. 

She sat him down on the edge of the bed and straddled his lap, bringing her hands up to tangle in his curls once again. 

Before she could lean in for another kiss, he murmured, “I’ve been thinking.”

“Sounds dangerous,” she teased, ghosting her lips over his.

“Ha, ha.” Part of him wanted to bring up Owen, but she was so happy and warm and comfortable in this moment. He didn’t want to ruin this night of celebration. He didn’t want to ruin this day that had been so full of love. They had plenty of time to discuss Owen. 

He wrapped his arms around her middle. “You’ve met Penelope. I’ve met Anita. Now that the school year is over… we could tell Michael.”

She pulled back, and the smile she gave him could only be described as radiant, and he knew he made the right decision. “He’s gonna lose his mind.”

…

A week later, the pair of them were strolling up the sidewalk to the LaMontagne house. Will and JJ were long overdue for a date night, and Spencer had jumped at the opportunity for the two of them to babysit. When they reached the door, Spencer rang the bell and Y/N waited slightly behind him. 

They could hear the joy from behind the door before it even opened, Michael’s high pitched giggle and Will’s booming laugh. Spencer was already leaning down in preparation, and Michael absolutely launched into his arms as soon as the door swung open. Spencer clocked the moment that Michael spotted her, purely because he practically squealed and squirmed right out of Spencer’s grip. 

“I knew it!” Michael cried. 

He wrapped himself around Y/N’s legs and squeezed tightly, and she rubbed a hand over his hair with a bewildered smile. Michael broke away to turn back to Will with a grin. “I told you.”

“You did, buddy.” Will gave Spencer a lopsided smile as Michael tugged Y/N forward by the hand. “Michael had an… inklin’ that uncle Spencer might be friends with Ms. Y/L/N.”

“Not friends, Daddy,” Michael said exasperatedly. “He’s her boyfriend.”

“Oh, excuse me, sorry.” Will held his hands up in apology as he stepped aside to let them all in the door. “Michael had a feelin’ that uncle Spencer might be Ms. Y/L/N’s boyfriend.”

Y/N’s cheeks had turned a very pretty shade of pink. “What— um, what made you think that?” 

Michael waited patiently for her to take off her shoes. “Well firstly, he started picking me up all the time, which was nice but weird. And then he wouldn’t stop asking about you. It was kind of annoying.” Spencer made a choking sound, and Will stifled a laugh. 

“You guys wear the same shoes, and you both love Halloween and tea and reading. I knew you’d like him if he could be a guest reader.” As he led her into the living room, Michael continued, “Oh, and you wore his purple scarf. He doesn’t let anyone wear the purple scarf.”

Spencer vividly remembered that morning— she’d slept over after a midweek date night in April. The temperatures in DC had plummeted overnight, and the outfit she’d brought left her woefully under-dressed for the chilly spring day. He’d wrapped her up in the soft, purple scarf without a second thought. 

She caught his eye with a shrug, and Will tried not to look too smug. Spencer watched her be dragged further into the house, turning to Will with a sheepish smile.

“Well, guess I can’t take all the credit,” Will decided. “Who knew we had a mini matchmaker this whole time?”

Spencer huffed out a laugh as Michael pulled Y/N into the playroom. “This is the best,” Michael sighed. “Now we can play restaurant forever.”

…

Spencer pulled his legs up in the tiny chair, resting his elbows on his knees and taking a moment to watch the scene in front of him unfold. Usually on nights like this, Michael ran him ragged with demands for magic tricks, story time, and playing pretend. Tonight, he’d actually been able to catch up with middle school (middle school!) Henry, because Michael was totally and completely enthralled by Y/N. 

She was helping with the last of the setup for the “restaurant,” organizing Michael’s menus and straightening his clip-on tie. Of course he’d seen her with kids before. But something about being in this playroom— one that he’d spent so many hours in, watching two of his favorite kids grow up— had him feeling warm from head to toe. 

Henry had bounded down the stairs at the news that uncle Spencer was dating his former kindergarten teacher. He hadn’t realized that she’d taught Henry, too, although with the timeline of her teaching career he should have put two and two together. The generally reserved middle schooler had positively beamed when she gasped out, “Gosh, I always forget how tall you’ve gotten!”

And now three of his absolute favorite humans were in one room, and he couldn’t stop smiling. 

“Hen!” Michael called. 

Henry turned from his spot in the chair across from Spencer. “What?”

“You’re the chef,” Michael informed him. 

Y/N tilted her head. “I thought I was the chef?”

“No, no, no.” Michael pushed her toward the kid-sized table. “You and uncle Spencer are on a fancy date.”

Henry rolled his eyes playfully and stood from the chair, pulling it out for her like a perfect gentleman. She beamed at him and gave him a wink. “Thank you, sir.”

She dropped lightly into the chair across from Spencer and laughed a little at his folded limbs. “You look very comfortable.” 

He laughed and stretched his legs out straight. “The picture of comfort, really. These chairs were clearly designed with six foot men in mind.”

“I’m sorry I’m so under-dressed for our fancy dinner date,” she teased, dropping her chin into her hand. 

“You look stunning, as always.” He gestured to the messy braid Michael had folded her hair into. “I especially love what you’re doing with your hair.”

She sucked in a dramatic breath, bringing up her hand to pat lightly at her hair. “You’re making me blush, doctor.” She peeked behind her and then lowered her voice. “I’m probably going to cry when I try to brush the rats out.” 

He looked at her sympathetically. “I know the feeling. I think I’ve got a wide tooth comb, and I can help. I’ve gotten pretty good at detangling Michael’s handiwork.”

Before she could respond, Michael made his way to the table, holding a dish towel over his arm. “Good evening, sir, madam.” 

“Good evening,” they chorused, with barely suppressed grins. 

“Compliments of the chef.” Michael held out his hand to reveal two slightly smushed strawberries.

“Oh, wow,” Y/N said, eyes wide and gesturing to Spencer. “Honey, do you want to—”

Spencer waved his hand, eyeing the berries warily. “No, no, please, help yourself.”

Y/N held back a smile and accepted the strawberries, holding them carefully in her hand and turning her attention back to Michael. “Thank you so much. What a wonderful appetizer. Could we hear the specials?”

That helped Michael remember the menus, and he pulled them from his pocket and cleared his throat. He handed them the construction paper menus. “Our specials tonight are roasted octopus and a steak tartar.”

From the kitchen, Henry mumbled, “Tartare.” 

“Tartare. Steak tartare is our special,” Michael corrected. 

“Hmm, I don’t know if I’m that adventurous. Maybe my boyfriend is though,” Y/N told a grinning Michael. “What do you recommend for a picky eater?”

“My favorite is the chicken nuggets.”

“Well then, sign me up. One order of chicken nuggets.” Y/N handed him the menu. 

Spencer was still perusing the menu for Le Chateau LaMontagne. He smiled at Michael’s handwriting, but particularly at the places where he could tell Y/N had helped. “Everything looks delicious,” he finally decided, “but, you know... I think I’m also going to have the nuggets.”

…

When the boys were finally in bed, Spencer and Y/N settled down in the living room to untangle the mess of her hair. She sat on the floor in between his legs as he gently pulled each braid strand free. He smiled at the way she arched up into his touch, shivering when his fingers brushed over her neck. 

“You’re lucky,” he remarked, laying the last braid strand back into its original place. “Michael seems to have gotten a little better at braiding.”

She leaned her head back into his hands. “You detangled the whole thing?”

“Mmhm.” He leaned forward to press a kiss to her forehead, then her nose, then her mouth. She brought her hands up to hold him against her, trying to deepen the kiss before laughing at the awkward angle and giving up. 

He sat up as she stood and moved to the couch, snuggling up close to him and tucking herself under his arm. “I’m very lucky,” she agreed. “For many reasons.”

Her hand drifted to rest on his tummy, her fingers immediately tracing little shapes over the fabric of his shirt. He pressed a kiss into her hair. “And tired, too.”

“Hmm?” 

He leaned his cheek against her head. “When you get tired, you, um— you start drawing on my stomach.” 

Her finger paused. “Do I?”

“Yeah.” She shifted to raise her head to look at him, and he shrugged. “I don’t mind. I’ve just— noticed.”

She smiled a little sleepily. “You know I love all of you. But I— well, I don’t know, really. I just like your tummy.” She gave it a quick squeeze. “It’s just— nice and comfy and perfect for resting on.” 

He covered her hand with his own and leaned forward to press their mouths together. She drew his bottom lip in between her own, sucking a little and then giving it a quick peck before pulling back and stifling a yawn into his chest. “Man, I am tired.” She snuggled back into him and resumed her tummy tracing. “What, um— what else have you noticed?”

He rubbed his hand down her arm and pulled her impossibly closer. “You like to play with my hair.”

“Mmmm, guilty as charged.”

He smiled at the sleep creeping into her voice. “I like it, too.” He ran his fingers up to her shoulder, and then back down to the crook of her arm, soothing her closer to sleep. “Hmmmm. You always have at least one point of contact on my body at all times. It’s usually your hands, but sometimes it’s your head or even your toes— like when you tuck them under my leg.”

“Ugh— I’m sorry. Clingy and putting my feet on you,” she mumbled.

She might have been joking, but Anita’s words were replaying in his head. He couldn’t change what had happened in the past. He couldn’t go back and prevent her from being hurt by someone else. But he could be different in every way. He could be open and honest and vulnerable with her like he’d promised. 

“I’m not sorry. I love all of you,” he murmured, pulling her in closer and repeating her words back to her. 

“Even my feet?” 

He could also show her that there was absolutely nothing that he didn’t love about her. “Especially your feet.”

She huffed a sigh into his chest. “Y’got a foot thing I don’t know about?”

He laughed a little at that. “Only for yours. They’re very cute feet.”

“You’re weird,” she muttered, but she hugged him tighter when she said it.

“You love it.”

Her fingers on his tummy had come to rest comfortably just above his waistband, and he knew she was on the very edge of sleep. “Mmhm. Love you.”

He thought of all the little moments over the past few months.

Doesn’t live up to expectations? Sorry for overstepping. Are we dating? Sorry for being clingy. Sorry for taking so long to tell you. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.

“I love you, too,” he murmured. “So much.”

———

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#spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid #spencer reid x you #spencer reid imagine #criminal minds fanfic #criminal minds self insert #homoose writes

[sunmoonandeddie]

marriage story

pairing: bucky barnes x reader

word count: 5,641

summary: Fake marrying Bucky was only supposed to be a means to an end.

prompt: college au, fake marriage au, and enemies to lovers

warnings: swearing, talk of past sexual abuse

a/n: This was written for @broadwayandnetflix​ for @bucky-smiles​‘s Secret Santa!  SURPRISE!!!!  I’m so sorry I’m a day late, I just wanted to make sure it was as good as I could make it!!  I really hope you enjoy!!!

You weren’t sure how you ended up staring at divorce papers.

Hell, you’d just graduated college three weeks ago and had miraculously landed your first job that was conducive to your career.

And now, you were a divorcée at the age of twenty-one.

Granted, your marriage had lasted much longer than a lot of those that happened when the two people were teenagers.

It had also been fake, but that’s beside the point.

You read over the divorce papers for the eightieth time since they’d arrived.  Both of you took your individual things, no need for lawyers…

It had all seemed so simple when it first began.  A means to an end.

You were eighteen and stupid.  Desperate.  You had no idea what the consequences would be.

You had no idea that you’d actually fall in love with your husband.

He’d needed to live off campus since he couldn’t afford the on campus housing.  At a minimum of seven thousand dollars a school year, it was ridiculous.  You couldn’t really afford it either, but the school had a rule that you couldn’t live off campus until your junior year, and the two of you were still second semester freshmen.

Then there was the issue with your FAFSA.  You weren’t exactly on good terms with your parents.  And by not on good terms, you meant that you didn’t speak to them.  At all.  Getting their tax information wasn’t going to happen, and it wasn’t like they were helping you pay for college.

But FAFSA wouldn’t let you fill it out as an independent student until you were twenty-one.  Apparently, being cut off from your parents wasn’t enough of a ‘special circumstance’ to allow it.

But, there was one little thing that could fix all that.

Matrimony.

If you were married, you’d have to file independently.  No questions asked about parents.

And the university would allow you to live off campus, too.

It was a perfect solution.  A quick little trip to the courthouse.

Living together had seemed logical.  A little two bedroom apartment was much cheaper than seven thousand dollars for nine months in a dorm room you had to share.

Plus, you had to keep up the illusion to the school and the government that you were married.

Outside of living together though, there wasn’t much needed.  Each of you wore a fake ring when you went to your meetings with your advisor and your classes.  It kept the rabid frat boys away from you, at least.

And then there were the scholarships.  Turns out, there are scholarships specifically for married college kids, and your advisor thought you were just perfect for it because she’d never met such a wonderful couple.

It was all perfect.  Until it wasn’t.

First off, you and Bucky didn’t even really like each other when all of this started.  You only knew each other because you were best friends with Natasha, who was his best friend’s girlfriend.  It had actually been the two of them that had gotten the idea in the first place.

“So, I’m sure you’re wondering why we gathered you here today,” Steve said, and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes.

“Steve, this is my room.”

This was not how you wanted to spend your Saturday night.  You’d worked a double that day, from eight in the morning to ten that night.

The perks of working at a bar that did Mimosa Mornings on the weekends.  The worst part was that you weren’t even allowed to take a shot or two to help you get through it since you were eighteen.

Stupid fucking law.  If you could work in a bar, you should be able to drink to deal with the customers.  Because fuck, they’re horrible.

But you made more than you’d be making at Buffalo Wild Wings, that’s for sure.

“Can we just get whatever this is over with?” Bucky asked from across the room.  He definitely wasn’t keen to be stuck in a room with you for any longer than necessary.  “I have work in the morning.”

“Same here,” you added, narrowing your eyes at the two who sat in front of you.

Natasha was your best friend and your roommate, but fuck were you ready to put out a ‘New Friends Wanted’ sign.  You could take applications.

Requirement number one: Must not be dating the best friend of the most annoying prick in the world AKA Bucky Barnes.

Requirement number two: Must not be waiting to ambush you in your own dorm room with said prick.

“So, both of you are having issues with the university,” Nat said as she took out a bunch of papers.  “The dorms are crazy expensive and you’re not allowed to live off campus.  Also, FAFSA is ridiculous.”

“And we have a solution,” Steve said, a grin on his face.  He was such a giver.  He loved his friends more than anything in the world and would literally give anything for them.  Seriously.  You’d once watched him actually give the shirt off his back to Bucky when the latter had gotten drunk at a party and puked all over his.

He’d also gotten it on your shoes, and Bucky had just burped and said, “They look better now.”

The disgusting asshole.

“Well, spit it out,” you said, rubbing your temples.  You were still in your uniform, a pair of cut off jean shorts and a tank top.  Your hair smelled like cigarette smoke and someone’s beer that they spilled on you.  “I’d like to go to sleep before sunrise, please.”

“You two could get married.”

Both you and Bucky stared at them like they’d grown two heads.

“I’m sorry…  What the fuck did you just say?” You asked, standing up.

Natasha rushed to continue, still grinning.  “If you two get married, the university will let you live off campus, and FAFSA will let you file as independent!”

“And it’s cheap!  A marriage license only costs like… fifty bucks?  Something like that!” Steve said.

Well…  It wasn’t… a horrible idea, even if you and Bucky might end up killing each other before then.

“I don’t know...,” you said, the whole idea making you nervous.  Marriage?  Come on.

Bucky crossed his arms over his chest defensively.  “I really don’t want to be married to her.  We’d kill each other before we hit our six month anniversary,” he mocked, shooting a glare your way.

“It would only be until you graduate!” Natasha said.  “And then, you two get divorced and it becomes a funny story to tell at parties!”

You shared a look across the room with the brunette.  It would solve your problems…

“Fine.”

Turns out, getting married was a lot easier than you thought it would be.  All four of you went to the courthouse that next Tuesday when all of you had a break in between classes.

You wore a sweatshirt and leggings, your ratty sneakers that were covered in mud along the bottom.  Bucky wore jeans and a university hoodie.

Not exactly usual wedding attire.

Natasha, ever the optimist ever since she met Steve, had shoved a daisy she’d picked in your hair.

And an hour later, you’d walked out as Mrs. Barnes.

Wrapping your arms around yourself, you stood up from the couch and walked around the little place you’d called home since you were eighteen.

It had been quiet the first few months.  You signed a lease on an apartment a few blocks from campus and had moved in right at the end of the school year, but he went home with Steve to Brooklyn, New York.

You were alone the entire summer except for the few weekends that Natasha managed to come visit.  The only time you and Bucky spoke was when he texted you to let you know when he was moving in.

And that’s when the fighting had started.

As you stared at a picture of the two of you on the wall, you couldn’t help but laugh.  In the photo, you two were sitting on the couch, holding a cake that Natasha and Steve had gotten you as a joke.  HAPPY 2ND ANNIVERSARY! was written across it in bright blue icing.

It was a far cry from when you two had first moved in.  Everything was an issue.  You didn’t do this, he did that, the both of you wanted to watch different movies and he had brought the television but you’d brought the DVD player.  Everything.  Hell, you’d sleep on the bean bag in Natasha’s dorm some nights because even being in the same apartment as him was too much.

Eventually, there was compromise.  An understanding grew between you and with that, a truce.  You couldn’t keep living like you were.

You were pretty sure the war had finally, silently ended one late night in October.  It was the weekend before Halloween, and you’d had the worst shift of your life.

Your keys clanged as you unlocked the front door, trying to open it as quietly as possible.  Even from where you stood, you could see the clock above the stove that read 1:42 AM.  You were supposed to be off at ten, but that clearly hadn’t happened.  One of the other girls working had gotten sick and you were forced to cover the few hours she was supposed to work alone until close.

And to add onto that, you made less the entire weekend than you had last Friday night.  You’d been hit on, groped, yelled at.  Fuck.  You just wanted to collapse in your bed.

“You’re home late.”

“Fuck!” You jumped in shock, your heart pounding in your chest.  God.  Your anxiety had just spiked and the exhaustion you’d been feeling was replaced with your fight or flight instinct.

Bucky was standing in the hallway entrance, brows furrowed.  “Sorry.  I didn’t mean to scare you.”  He had on those gray sweats that he looked so good in…

No!  Down girl!  Bad!

It didn’t matter that he was hot.  He was a total dick.

Though, lately he’d be rather kind.  Nice.  There’d been less fights in the past few weeks.

You cleared your throat, looking away from him.  “Yeah, Wanda got sick, so I had to close.”

“There’s dinner in the microwave,” he said, shoving his hands in his pockets.

“Oh.  Thank you.”

He nodded, before disappearing down the hall.  It surprised you when you heard the bath start, but whatever.  Whether or not he took baths was none of your business.

You were surprised to find a huge bowl of vegetable soup in the microwave.  Huh.  You’d just been talking to Natasha about how much you missed your mom’s homemade version.

Whatever.  It wasn’t like you’d ever be having that again.

You let your head rest on the counter as you waited for the soup to heat up.  Fuck.  Your entire body ached.

“Hey, do you want epsom salt?” Bucky called out from the bathroom.

“Uh, what?” You said as you raised your head.  Even just moving that little made your head pound.

He poked his head out of the doorway, his long hair pulled back in a bun.  “For your bath?  Do you want epsom salt?”

“My bath?  What the hell are you talking about?” You asked as the microwave beeped.

Bucky leaned against the doorframe.  “The bath that I’m currently running you.  Do.  You.  Want.  Epsom.  Salts?”

There was a long pause as the two of you stared at each other.  “Yeah,” you said finally, your voice coming out a lot smaller than you expected.  “That would be nice.”

Once he’d disappeared back into the bathroom, you pulled out your phone and texted Nat.

To: Tasha

Why is Barnes acting weird?

From: Tasha

Which one of you?

Get it?

Cause you’re married?

To: Tasha

Yeah

I got it.

But he’s being fucking weird.

From: Tasha

How so?

To: Tasha

He made me dinner?  At least, he poured vegetable soup from a can into a bowl and left it in the microwave.

Oh

And he’s running me a bath???

V V strange.

If I don’t text you tomorrow

It’s probably because he killed me

From: Tasha

Oh that

To: Tasha

What do you mean

“Oh that”????

NATASHA

ANSWER YOUR PHONE

From: Tasha

Sorry, was talking to Steve

He mentioned you’d been working a lot and how tired you were so I told him he should do something nice.

And I may have told him that you missed your mom’s vegetable soup.

So that probably explains that.

“Hey, it’s ready,” Bucky said as he came into the kitchen.  “I’ve got some towels in the dryer going, so they’ll be all warm when you’re ready to get out.”  He seemed so… laissez-faire about it.  Like you two didn’t fight on a daily basis usually.  He watched as you took a bite of the soup, his blue eyes zeroed in on you.  “Do you like it?” He asked.  “I tried following my ma’s recipe.  Don’t know how well it went.”

You couldn’t help but moan around the spoon as the warm soup went down.  Even reheated, it was amazing.  “This is your mom’s recipe?  It’s amazing.”

His cheeks flushed as he tried to hide a grin.  “Thanks.  I’ve missed her cooking.”

It was silent as you finished up the soup, the only sound being the spoon clanging against the bowl.  It wasn’t until you set your dishes in the sink to wash the next day that he spoke again.

“Oh, I got you this,” he said as he pulled out a box.  “I saw my advisor and he knows that we’re married and he mentioned that we still don’t have rings, so I just went and grabbed a ring from a thrift store.”

It was then that you noticed the simple silver band on his left ring finger, glinting in the low light.

“You didn’t have to do that,” you said as you took the box.  But your breath was stolen from your lungs as you opened it, revealing a gorgeous diamond engagement ring with a matching diamond wedding band.  “It’s…  It’s beautiful…  Thank you…”

“You’re welcome,” he said softly, rubbing the back of his neck.  “Uh, you go ahead and get in the bath.  I’ll bring you the towels when they’re done.”

As you sat in the bath, you couldn’t help but stare at the rings that now resided on your left hand.  They glinted in the low light of the candles that had been placed in various places around the bathroom, most likely lit with Bucky’s lighter from the local smoke shop.

They were absolutely stunning.

Maybe… just maybe… this marriage wouldn’t be as bad as you first thought it would be.

You glanced over at the table as your phone buzzed, running to it.  Maybe it’s Bucky…

But your hope was dashed as you realized it was Natasha calling you.

You hadn’t realized you’d been crying until a drop of water fell on the screen.  Wiping your eyes, you brought it up to your ear.  “Hey, Tasha!  What’s up?”  You couldn’t help but wince.  You sounded like a fucking real estate agent.  Perfect and peppy and… not you.

“Hey, I just wanted to call and see how you’re doing,” she whispered, as though she was trying to keep someone else from hearing.  “Bucky got the divorce papers today and I figured that meant you did, too.”

Ah, another thing.  He’d been staying at Steve and Natasha’s place since all of you had graduated, and the time had come for the divorce.  He’d gotten all of his things out within two days, except for the hoodie you were currently cocooned in and your wedding rings.

“I know how much you love this place,” he’d said with a wry smile.  “So you can have it in the divorce settlement.”

It had been a joke.  The divorce settlement.  Like you two had actually been in love and things just hadn’t worked out.

“You aren’t gonna change the Netflix password on me, right?” You asked as you stood in the doorway of Bucky’s room, arms crossed over your chest.  “Because I’m still paying for half of it.”

Buck grinned at you as he taped the last box shut.  “I don’t know…  Might change it up on you.  Have it all to myself.  Then my suggested movies and shows won’t be so fucked up,” he teased.

You rolled your eyes, glaring at him.  But there was no heat behind it.  “We have separate profiles on there, you dumbass.  So if Gossip Girl is on your suggested, that’s your fault.”

The laugh that erupted from his mouth made him throw his head back, his eyes crinkling at the corners.

Seeing Bucky Barnes laugh was one of the Seven Wonders of the World.  It was better than the Great Pyramids of Giza, the Taj Mahal, and the Great Wall of China all rolled into one.

“We’re still gonna have Thursday night movies, right?” You asked, trying to ignore the way your voice cracked.

In the three years since you’d gotten married, Thursday night had become your sort of fake Date Night.  You two would order takeout and watch movies until the both of you passed out of the couch.  You both changed your availability at your jobs to let them know that you couldn’t work Thursdays.  Not even Natasha and Steve were allowed to intrude.  It was just your special night to hang out.

“I’ll bring the food.  Do you want Thai or Mexican?” He asked, his features a little softer.

“I’ll text you what I want,” you said.  Biting your lip, you toyed with the rings on your left hand.  “I guess I should give you these back, huh?”  You started to slip them off, but he stopped you.

“They’re yours,” he said, his hand closing over yours.  His blue eyes shimmered in the light as you swallowed.  “Keep them… as a reminder of your former husband.”  The corner of his mouth twitched, but you couldn’t tell if he was going to smile or frown.

“I’m gonna miss you,” you said, suddenly surging forward to hug him.  “Even though you’re super annoying.”

Bucky laughed as he wrapped his arms around you just as tight.  “I’m gonna miss you, too.”

“How’s he doing?” You asked as you moved to what had formerly been Bucky’s room.  It was now completely bare, except for a single gum wrapper on the floor.  You sank down against the wall as you stared at it.  Extra wintermint gum.  Because he absolutely hated spearmint.

“About as well as you, I imagine,” she said slowly, choosing her words ever so carefully.  “I don’t know.  He went out for a walk a few minutes ago.  But he locked himself in the guest room for hours after getting the papers.”

You let your head fall back against the wall, staring up at the ceiling as you tried to stop another onslaught of tears.  “This is what we wanted,” you said, your voice cracking.

A pause.  You could feel the tension even through the phone, a can of worms Natasha was about to open.  “Is it?  Is this what you wanted?”

“This was always the plan!” You retorted, the tears coming in a wave now.  “We’d stay married until after we graduated and then we’d divorce.  No drama, no court, no lawyers.  Just a means to an end.”

You could hear her whispering to someone that you knew was Steve on the other end for a few seconds, the sound muffled.  She’d probably covered the speaker.  “Do you want me to come over?” She finally asked.

“No,” you said with a sigh, rubbing the hell of your palm against your eyes.  “I just wanna… curl up in bed and watch cheesy movies and never come out.”

You didn’t understand.  Why did this hurt so bad?  He was just a friend.  You two had never even kissed, for crying out loud.  This wasn’t some fanfiction where you two fell into bed one drunken night and then woke up with feelings.  This wasn’t an ‘Oh no, there’s only one bed’ type of deal with 100K+ words on AO3.  You two were just friends.  Really.  There was no happy ending for the two of you waiting.

“Are you still gonna go to the Barnes’s Fourth of July party?” Natasha asked, her voice softer.

You pulled your knees up to your chest, resting your chin on your knee caps.  “There’s no point.  We’re not married anymore.”

“Sweetheart,” she chided.  “You know he’d want you there.  So would his family.  You’re still a Barnes, even if you change your last name back.”

“I don’t know,” you said, chewing on your bottom lip.  “I like the last name Barnes better.  It’s not like I have any connection to my old last name.  Maybe…”  You swallowed.  “Maybe I should keep it.  It costs money to change it back, after all.  It’s on my license now.”

Ah, yes.  Because your license had expired while you were married and you’d had to get a new one.

“You’re a Barnes now and forever, hon,” she teased.  You could hear her smile through the phone.  “And you know Winifred would be pissed as hell if you didn’t go.  You’re her daughter now just as much as Bucky is her son.”

God, the tears came on like a tsunami when you remembered the Barneses.  George, Winifred, Becca, all of them.  Especially Winifred.  Sweet, sweet Winnie that had become your mom in the years since you’d met her.

“Bucky, I don’t know about this,” you said as you walked up the steps to his place.  Or, rather, his parents’ place.  “I should just go home.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” he scoffed as he searched for the right key.  “I’m not letting you drive the way back just to spend Christmas alone.”

Truthfully, it was stupid to even suggest.  Your apartment that you shared with him now was over eight hours away, and it was two days before Christmas Eve.

God, how the hell did you end up here?  You’d been planning on spending it alone, just like you had Thanksgiving.

But when Bucky had come back from the break and realized that you hadn’t gone anywhere, it’d prompted him to ask why, which had then resulted in him insisting on you accompanying him to New York City for Christmas with his family.

“What if they don’t like me?” You asked, barely audible.  In truth, you were terrified.  This was your first holiday season that you were away from your parents.  Thanksgiving had been strange, and you had certain it wasn’t going to get any better up until a few weeks ago.

Bucky stopped suddenly, looking at you with big blue eyes.  “Sweetheart, they’re going to adore you,” he said, more sincere than he’d been since the two of you had gotten married.  “How could they not?”

“You didn’t!”

“Yeah, well, you didn’t like me either.  And then we got to know each other.”

He had a point.

You grumbled, staring down at your boots.  They were still covered in snow.

“And besides, Ma hasn’t shut up about meeting you ever since she found out about you,” he muttered as he finally found the right key.  “Dad said she’s been obsessively cleaning the house since she found out you were coming.”

As soon as the opened the door, you were hit with a wall of sound.  A woman with the same shade of hair as Bucky rushed forward, trapping the six foot man in a hug.  “YOU’RE HOME!”

“Winnie, come on, don’t suffocate the boy.”  A man with Bucky’s eyes appeared, his hands shoved in his pockets.  He was trying to appear nonchalant, but the second he was free of his mother’s grasp, he was dragging him into another hug.  “I’ve missed you, son.”

“And you must be his wife!” Winifred Barnes said, suddenly turning on you.

“Ma, she has a name.”

“I know that!”

“Winnie–”

You were pulled into a hug, and you were suddenly overwhelmed with feelings.  Maybe it was just the fact that you hadn’t hugged your own mother in so long, or maybe it was just because Winifred was that lovely of a person.  Either way, you were tearing up as she hugged you tightly.  You gave her your name as she pulled back, looking over your face.

“Oh, you’re even prettier than Jamie said!”

Your cheeks flushed as Bucky grumbled out a quiet “Ma…”

It was then that you were swept into the apartment, finding it bustling with people.  You were then introduced to the rest of his family: his younger sister, Becca, who was going to be a senior in high school and was SO grateful to have a new sister, his aunts, his uncles, his parents.  The entire apartment was bursting with people even days before the actual holiday.

It wasn’t until after dinner (which was absolutely delicious) that you were able to capture a quiet moment in the kitchen, helping Winifred wash dishes.

“Thank you for having me over,” you said, to break the silence.  It wasn’t uncomfortable, surprisingly, you just felt like you needed to vocalize your thanks for what was probably the third time.  “It means a lot.”

“Any friend of Jamie’s is a friend of ours,” she said as she rinsed off a plate.  “And we’re so grateful for what you’re doing.  He mentioned that it helps you, too, but…  Our family can’t afford to pay for his housing.  We can barely make his tuition.”  She looked at you with crystal clear eyes that seemed to bore into your soul.  “We’re so happy to have you.”  She then paused, glancing over at the side of the sink, where you’d set your wedding rings just to make sure they didn’t slip off in the water.  “You know, I was so happy when he asked for my ring.  He’s always dreamed of giving it to a girl.”

“What?” You asked, looking at her in shock.

Winifred paused, her brows furrowed in a way that really reminded you of your husband.  “Did he not tell you?  The engagement ring is mine.  But he saved up over the summer to buy a matching band for it.”

Your heart raced in your chest as you stared at the rings.  Bucky had gotten his ma’s ring for you?  But… why?  You two were barely friends at this point.

“I would’ve been spending Christmas alone if it wasn’t for him inviting me,” you said, breaking her stare to look down at your soapy hands.  “He found out I spent Thanksgiving at home and almost shit a brick.”  You rushed to cover your mouth, to apologize, but she just snorted.

An easy smile tugged at her lips.  “Holidays are a big thing for our family, and I guess we passed that down to Jamie.  Everyone comes to town for about a week and we spend it drinking and shooting the shit, baking.  We can’t afford much, so our gifts are usually just spending time together,” she said.

“It sounds nice,” you whispered as you scrubbed absentmindedly at a pan.  “My family… even when I still talked to them, we were never big on holidays.”  Winifred had gone quiet beside you.  “It was always just us.  We’d eat dinner together and sometimes I’d get a present, but mostly it was just spent like any other day.”

She took a deep breath, setting a plate on the drying rack.  “What… happened?  If you don’t mind me asking?”

“I… confronted my parents about the sexual abuse I went through as a kid,” you said slowly, swallowing around the lump that had suddenly formed in your throat.  “My cousin…  He, uh…  He’s only a year and a half older than me.  From the time I was… four or five, I think, to about twelve, he would… you know.”  The kitchen felt deadly silent, and you were so glad that the rest of the Barnses, including Bucky, were in the living room.  Even though he knew the basics of what had happened, you never told him details.  “And my parents would punish me for it when he got caught.  They blamed me.  They’d ground me or spank me or… whatever.”  You let out a weak laugh, trying to lighten the mood.  “They didn’t really take it well.  It doesn’t matter though.  I’m fine.”

You were shocked when you were suddenly pulled into a tight hug.  Winifred’s arms formed a cocoon around you and you could feel her tears on your face.  She was only an inch or two taller than you.  “That was not your fault,” she gasped out, holding you to her.  “That was not your fault.”

Before you realized what was happening, you were clutching onto her as hot tears streamed down your cheeks.

You didn’t know how long she’d held you before she leaned back, wiping away your tears.  Or at least, trying to before they were replaced with more.  “You are not what he did to you, you hear me?” She asked, wiping at her own face.  “You are always welcome here.  We’re your family now.”

“What’s going on here?”

The both of you turned to see Bucky in the doorway, his sea blue eyes wide.  He was holding a few extra plates that had been left behind.

“Nothing,” she said with a watery grin.  “Just… talking.”

“Here,” he said as he walked over and put the dishes inside the sink filled with soapy water.  “I’ll finish up with my wifey here, and you go clean up before dad freaks out because you’re crying.”

She barked out a laugh, nodding.  “Fine.  Fine.  You know how he gets if I’m upset,” she said, kissing your forehead before leaving.

“So… You actually okay?” Bucky asked as he took over rinsing the dishes you washed.

The smile that found its way onto your lips was real, surprisingly, as you said, “Everything’s great, Jamie.”

And even though he let out a groan, he was smiling, too.

It was after that trip that you’d started calling him Jamie.  It just… felt better rolling off your tongue than Bucky ever did.  It was also when holidays in Brooklyn became a permanent thing.  Anytime Bucky went home, so did you.

They were your family.

But now…  Now what?  Did you lose them like you lost your parents?

Granted, losing your parents wasn’t exactly the worst thing.

“Sweetheart?  You there?” Natasha asked, bringing you back to the present.

“Yeah,” you said, shaking your head to clear out the cloudiness of your memories.  “Yeah, I’m–”  You broke off as you heard a knock at the door, a frown tugging at your lips.  “Hold on, Tasha, I’ll call you back…”  You hung onto your phone as you walked to the front door, peeking through the peephole.

Bucky?...  What the fuck was he doing here?

You opened the door wide, shocked to find him crying.  His eyes were puffy and red, his nose running.  “Jamie?  What’s wrong?”  You reached forward to touch his shoulder, shoving your phone in your back pocket.

“Don’t sign those papers.”

“Wait…  What?”  Now you were even more confused.  Your brows furrowed as you pushed his hair back from his face.  God, he needed a haircut.  Maybe you could…  No.  Not the focus right now.

He stepped toward, half inside the apartment that had been his, too, just two weeks before.  His large, calloused hand caressed your face.  “I don’t want to not be your husband,” he said, his voice cracking.

Your heart thundered inside your chest and you were half sure this was some kind of trick of your mind to soothe its aching.  “What do you mean?”

“I want to make this work,” he said as he cupped your face in his hands.  “I… I want to actually have Thursday night Date Nights and take you out and when we go home for the holidays, I want to kiss you under the mistletoe my ma always hangs up, and I want you to wear my ma’s ring.  I want to be your husband.  Please.”

You didn’t realize you were crying–yet again, fucking damn it–until he wiped them away.  “I don’t want to not be your wife, either,” you said, your voice shaking.  “I love you, I love you so much.”

His lips met yours in a blazing kiss, holding you closer than you thought possible.  “I love you more,” he whispered against your lips.  “I’m never letting you go.”

You dragged him inside, shutting the door before kissing him again.  “You’re staying here.  None of this bullshit of you staying with Tasha and Steve.”

“Gladly,” he chuckled, holding onto your waist.  “But only if I get to sleep in your bed.”

“Only if we can shred those divorce papers.”

The moment was interrupted by his phone ringing, and you couldn’t help but giggle when you saw it was Winifred.  He shot you an apologetic look as he answered it.  “Hey, ma.”

She was speaking so loudly you could hear her clearly.  “Well?!  How did it go?!  Did you ask her?!”

“Yes, I asked her,” he said slowly, squeezing your side.  “She said yes.  I’m with her now.”

Both of you flinched away as she screamed in excitement.  “GIVE HER THE PHONE!  GIVE HER THE PHONE!”

You smiled as you pressed it to your ear.  “Hi, mom.”

“BABY!  I’M SO HAPPY!  NOW WE CAN HAVE A REAL WEDDING!”  She was speaking at a hundred miles an hour.  “Do you want a summer or fall wedding?  I think it might be too late to do summer, but I’m sure we could scrounge something together!”

You giggled as Bucky stole kisses from you while she was speaking, distracting you.

“Sweetheart?  You there?”

“A late summer wedding sounds perfect,” you said, unable to wipe the grin from your face.  “Absolutely perfect.”

#cmmsecretsanta #bucky x reader #bucky x you #bucky x y/n #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky fic #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes fanfiction

[thcweasley]

Magical

PAIRING : Fred Weasley X Y/N

SUMMARY : After war, Fred trying to make things back to normal again

WARNINGS : none? shitty fluff

WORDS : 1.6k

A/N: i reposted this cos something went wrong lmao.

Im not sure why i really like the whole idea of Fred X Muggleborn!Reader lmao. i know its autumn in most places, but its been super duper hot here lately. Also this might not be 100% accurate of how things supposed to go, but i just got an idea after watching what not to do at the beach. so I hope you enjoy anyways.

AND THANKYOU FOR THE LOVE ON MY LAST FIC OMGGG. Yes ill upload the 2nd part soooooonn!! so don’t you worry~

“Lets go lets go!!” Fred said clapping his hands, signing you to move faster.

“yeah yeah” you mumbled.

It was a month after the war yet everything didn’t seem to falls back to normal. The fact that you almost lose Fred in the battle haunted you. Even though he was still standing in front of you now, present and healthy. Still you couldn’t seem shake off the image of him dying in front of you. At the time everyone was so sure there’s nothing they can do to wake him up.

“I didn’t know you’d be this sad to see me dying Y/N” He managed to let out a laugh.

Fred insisted you both to go to the beach today. You’ve told him once that going to the beach with your family and friends was probably you favourite memory of growing up. Before everything, before Fred, before Hogwarts, before Magic. So he thought itd be fun to relive your memory with you, no wand, no spell, no magic, just the two of you.

“are you sure you wanna do this? I thought you don’t like muggles activities” you asked him swirling around your wand in front of his face.

He grabbed your wand and put it away from you “Yes of course no magic, beach day! Now move your feet before I carry you into the car myself”

“I can’t believe you actually rent a car” you looked at him in disbelief.

“Well I want it to be perfect for you” he laughed under his breath. “Look at this” He pressed a button and suddenly the roof of the car starting to fold. “Just like magic!” He grinned, causing you to laugh.

“oh what did I do to deserve such an amazing boyfriend” you leaned on to the driving seat to give him a kiss on his cheek.

“I honestly don’t know Y/N” He moved one of his hand onto your waist “But I know how you could reward me without any magic involved” He squeeze your bum lightly.

“Focus on the road, Weasley” you rolled your eyes smiling, Slapping  his hand away as moving back to your position. His laughter filling the car

** Fred had taken you to a pretty cool beach. quite crowded too He found a spot and lay some towel so you can sit down.

You both lay down on your towel. Watching the clouds moving, enjoying each other arms. when suddenly someone dis-sand his towel right beside Fred and walk away.

You both sat up immediately, coughing.

“what the hell is that?” you said, with an annoyed tone, looking over to Fred. Wondering why he hadn’t say anything.

You saw Fred rubbing his eye. “you okay?” you raised an eyebrow. Confused

“uhh.. i think there’s sand in my eye” he said still rubbing his eye.

You grabbed his hand. Stopping him from rubbing his eye. “don’t rub it..” you said soothingly. “open your eyes”

he tried to open his eyes, failing. “what do you mean? I cant do it!”

“hey.. calm down” you giggled. You put your fingers between his eye, and open his eyes. You keep your fingers there to stop his eyes from blinking. you blow air in front of his eyes. Hopefully can remove sand from his eyes. “now blink”

he blinked a few times. And then look up at you. He realised how close your faces were. He held your cheek in his palm. Leaning in to kiss you. His lips warm and smooth pressing against yours.

You just smile against the lips, enjoying the moment. Until you heard a loud smack coming from Fred’s direction, causing you to pull away from him. A volley ball hit Freds head.

“sorry mate!” some guy shouted behind him. and running towards you both to pick up the ball.

“yeah no worries” he managed to force a laugh. You dropped your head to the side. Looking at his annoyed face.

“you okay Fred?” you asked him. resting your hand on his head.

“yep.. umm.. lets go for a walk”

**

Fred grabbed your hand, dragging you with him as he ran towards the bridge. He sat on the bridge and patted the space beside him, signalling you to sit beside him. “come on!” he smiled widely.

“Do you want ice cream?” Fred broke the silence.

“sounds great” you said as you want to get up. But he stopped you.

“wait here I’m going to guess your favourite” He scrambles to his feet and kiss your nose before walking away.

As you watched the clouds moved, you can hear the waves and some kids running around. Looking all around you, remembering the reason why you like going to the beach so much. The salty air, the sun and now you’re with the man you love the most. It couldn’t be more perfect than this.

Suddenly Fred appeared beside you. Handing you your ice cream with your favourite flavour.  “here you go ”

“awwww” you looked up at him and peck his lips. “thankyou..”

You were enjoying your ice cream when suddenly Fred groans. You looked up at him and follow his eyes direction, you saw some boys running away laughing. You looked back at him. now he’s touching his head. “dumb kids” He muttered

“Oh god!” you said in shock as soon after you pulled his hand away from his head. His hair covered with ice cream.  then suddenly bursted out laughing.

Fred groaned again “you think its funny?” he narrowed his eyes at you. Fred’s hair, he always sensitive with his hair.

“sorry..” you grinned. You reached your handbag and took your wet tissue. “I don’t know that your mouth moved on to your hair” you giggle lightly. Start wiping the ice cream off his head.

“It’s those lil git” he clenched his teeth.

You giggled lightly, its funny how frustrating this day has been for him.  “what do you want now? Go home?” you smiled at him.

“yeah..” then he instantly added “sorry” he bitted his bottom lip.

“Its okay, Let’s go home” you grabbed his hand and ran towards the car.

**

“my hair, it’s so sticky” Fred said once you got inside the car.

you smiled “its cute though, smells like ice cream.”

“it is not..” He said as he started the car

“whatever” you stuck your arms out the open window, holding it straight like the wing of a plane. But then suddenly you felt a cold flickers of water land on your face making you yelp in surprise at first and then groan loudly.

“Rain?” Fred questioned, painful annoyance in his tone.

You both turned your heads up to face the sky and suddenly the droplets are falling down faster and faster, making you flinch every time it hits you. Within ten seconds, the water is hammering down.

“why it doesn’t work!!” Fred pressed the roof button rapidly. Hoping the roof would start to close itself. “Merlin!” he ran his finger through his hair.

“Hey calm down focus on the road” You replaced his hand with yours, until finally the roof closed itself.

But then suddenly the car stopped. You could see the lights on the car also went off.

“hey, we’re in the middle of the rain why the hell would you stopped?” You laughed not knowing what was happening.

“well this really a cherry on top. What a nice day” he said, sarcastically.

“wh- what happened?”

“I don’t know. Merlin, I really wished I have my wand with me” he muttered. “wait here” he said as he got out of the car.

You took out your phone. No signal what a nice day.

You got out of the car. You saw Fred was standing in front of the car. Muttering loudly.  You shook your head, and ran towards him, hugged him from behind. “im so sorry Y/N I have no idea how muggle car works I don’t know how to fix this” He said as he turn himself around to face you. To his surprise you greeted him with a big grin on your face. “Why are you smiling?” he asks suspiciously, raising an eyebrow

You placed a hand on his cheek. “I was wondering… have you ever been kissed in the rain?”

Fred finally recognising the playfulness in your voice. His frown soon eases up into something less harsh-looking. “I haven’t actually,” he breathed

You closed the gap between you two, kissing him passionately. You feel the water soaking through your clothes as you’re pressed your lips on to his lips as the freezing water dripped down on you both. You grab onto his shirt, starting to shiver. You can’t remember the last time you’ve been happier. Because finally, after a whole month of anxiety, you can just focus on whats happening right now.

You finally separate lips, both catching on your breathes.

Fred strokes a stray raindrop off of your nose. “sorry, this is the worst date ever” he gave you a sheepish smile.

“I don’t think so” you pecked his lips smiling widely, he smiled back.

“are you being sarcastic with me?” he raised his eyebrow playfully.

You shook your head smiling. “For a magic-less day, it was quite magical” AAHAHA im sorry guys this was super cheesy. but.. should we make a part two where we give fred weasley the reward he deserves?

MY OTHER WORKS follow me / send request / talk to me! im lonely (if u send me anonymously maybe click here) my collaborative ford anglia playlist Christmas with the Weasley playlist

#fred weasley #fred weasley x reader #fred weasley imagine #fred weasley imagines #weasley twins x reader #weasley twins #weasley twins imagine #fred weasley fluff #fred weasley fic #Mine #harry potter imagine

[15-dogs]

flustered |c.d.|

pairing: cedric diggory x reader (fem!reader)

summary: you’re cedric’s best friend and you realize you have feelings for him so you want to ask him to the yule ball !!

warnings: none

guide: (Y/N) = your name, (Y/L/N) = your last name

word count: 1949

One week. One week until the Yule Ball and you still hadn’t mustered up the courage to ask Cedric. It was a little bit pathetic in your opinion seeing as he was your best friend, but you just couldn’t do it.

A couple months prior, Cedric casually mentioned that he’d be entering the Triwizard Tournament. Naturally, you freaked out on him, begging him not to enter. Every single moment of every single day you would hound him about it, saying you couldn’t see him risk his life to prove something. Fortunately, he relented and decided not to put his name in.

However, what he said to you that night after your wave of relief had struck worry in your heart: “Merlin, (Y/N), if I didn’t know any better I’d say you fancy me.”

His teasing was like a slap in the face. How could you not have noticed before? You were mad about the boy! But instead of admitting that to him and giving him the satisfaction, you simply let out a nervous laugh.

It was a known fact to all of your friends that you got easily flustered. An over-talker, if you will. Like in your 2nd year you had fallen madly in love with the Head Boy. So one day when you got lost on your way to classes, he offered to help you and you told him that you got new shoes that you were almost too excited to break in and you were really happy with the uniform’s choice in footwear and what brand are these anyway? Needless to say, it wasn’t your proudest moment.

That fear was the reason why you were absolutely not excited in any way, shape, or form to sit with Cedric during History of Magic. Your heart pounded in your chest, increasing speed as you settled in next to him.

“What took you so long?” he asked. “I haven’t seen you all day!” You rolled your eyes at him as you fished your parchment from your bag.

“One class, Cedric. It was one class that we didn’t have together.”

“Your point being?”

A smirk tugged at your lips as you turned to look at him, but his close proximity to your face had your breath catching in your throat. You clenched your jaw, hoping not to say something stupid. Unfortunately, you weren’t so lucky.

“Well, you see, before I had Divination prior to this― a class which you don’t have― and that is about 45 minutes long on Mondays. On Wednesdays, however, that is quite the different story! I have a double then so-”

“Do I make you nervous?”

Your body froze. Why couldn’t you be quiet for once? You slowly turned your head towards Cedric who eyed you lazily, his chin resting in his palm, a grin on his face. You internally groaned at his handsomeness, scolding yourself for not just telling him straight out how you felt.

Instead, you cleared your throat and said, “What would give you the impression?”

Cedric chuckled and sat up, shaking his head. “Nothing, love, nothing.”

Only five more days and you still hadn’t said a word about the Yule Ball to Cedric. No, rather than risking you running your mouth at him again, you had taken to avoiding him and you did it like a champ. Switching seats in classes, picking up extra credit assignments, eating your meals in the kitchens. It was all fine and dandy until Cedric picked up on it by the second day; and you really thought that you were in the clear.

You spoke to Professor McGonagall about an essay that you didn’t do quite well on after class, assuming that Cedric had filed out with the rest of the group.

“I think that you could use some extra help,” McGonagall claimed. She looked over your shoulder, waving someone on from behind you. You wished you hadn’t turned around. “Mr. Diggory is one of my top students and I’m sure that he’d be willing to provide tutoring to you, wouldn’t you, Mr. Diggory?”

Cedric nodded profusely. “Absolutely, professor. You know, with classes over for the day, we can get started now. Do you mind if Miss (Y/L/N) and I use the classroom, professor?”

“I’m actually busy!” you practically shouted. McGonagall jumped while Cedric eyed you with confusion, causing you to cringe. “Sorry, I, um, am helping Professor Trelawney with some of her younger students today. Maybe another time.”

Your eyes glued to the floor as you scurried from the room, blocking out Cedric’s cries after you. It wasn’t until you made it to Trelawney’s room that you felt like you could breathe again.

“Three days!” your friend Beatrice reminded you. “If I have to see you pine over Diggory three more days then I might as well lose it. Ship me off to Azkaban!”

“Be quiet, would you!” you whispered hotly, tugging at her robe sleeve. “Anyone could hear you!”

“Merlin, that would be a miracle! Then someone could solve this for you― they could just tell the boy that you fancy him instead of going back and forth on an obvious decision.”

You scoffed. “Obvious decision? And what would that be?”

“Are you being thick on purpose? Just tell him how you feel! Poor boy is mad about you anyway.” You stopped Beatrice midstride.

“Mad about me? Really?” Rings of blush formed on your cheeks. “What makes you think so?”

“He only really listens to you. Do you think if I asked him not to enter the tournament that he would’ve listened? Absolutely not!”

You scuffed your heeled feet on the stone tiling. “Yeah, but I’m persuasive. I haven’t known him half as long as you have.”

Beatrice moved her hands erratically to emphasize her words. “That’s exactly my point! Diggory has been friends with you for what? 3 years, maybe? And he acts like he’s known you your whole life. Don’t stand here and pretend that the boy doesn’t like you even a little.”

Your heart swelled. Maybe Beatrice had a point. Even if he did like you, you were still nervous about asking him to the ball. Beatrice seemed to sense that uncertainty in you and placed a comforting hand on your shoulder.

“Worst he’ll do is say no. And if he does say no, pretend like you were asking him as a friend.”

Ah, Beatrice. Always with the sage wisdom.

Her words were the reason that you darted into the Hufflepuff common room in hopes of spotting a familiar mop of blond curls. However, he was nowhere to be seen. You huffed, exiting the common room. As soon as you stepped out, you heard voices down the hall. You hated eavesdropping but you felt as if your feet were bolted the floor, leaving you no choice but to listen.

“I know why you’re so nervous around me,” Cedric’s voice sounded, echoing all around you.

“Why’s that?” an unfamiliar girl’s voice replied.

“You fancy me, don’t you?”

“I...what?”

Your heart dropped into your stomach. You felt as if you were going to be sick. Every part of your body screamed for you to run but you still couldn’t move.

“I fancy you, too,” admitted Cedric. “Would you go to the ball with me?”

Hot tears pooled in your eyes and you finally were able to pull yourself away, darting back into the common room. You marched up the stairs to your dorm, cheeks turning red from embarrassment at all the eyes on you. Once you made it to your bed, you drew the curtains, reprimanding yourself for being so foolish to think Cedric Diggory would ever like you back.

The Yule Ball was tomorrow and you weren’t going. Not with Cedric, not with your friends, not by your lonesome. You just wouldn’t do it. You didn’t think you could bear the sight of Cedric with another girl. It was unfair to him, really, because you should be happy for him― he was your friend! But you knew it would hurt too much which is why you were in a rotten mood for the day.

“Professor McGonagall, I can work on my essay myself-” you begged. McGonagall tutted, shaking her head.

“Miss (Y/L/N), you don’t get that option anymore. Mr. Diggory and yourself will be working together in my classroom now. I will be in my office if you need me but I expect you two to be working. If this essay is not finished by tonight, you won’t receive a grade for it.”

Your eyes trailed after McGonagall as she left the room, your gaze locking on Cedric at the back. You felt a pit form in your stomach and your mind began to race for an excuse but there was no point; you couldn’t risk failing an essay just because you had a stupidly huge crush on your best friend.

“Hi-” 

You barely managed to get your words before Cedric blurted, “I know why you’re so nervous around me!”

You blinked in shock. Wait, didn’t Cedric say that to the girl last night? You pushed down that memory, not wanting to dredge up your sorrows in front of the person who caused them. Everything that was going on was a whole new range of terrible. So instead of focusing on how awful and anxious you felt, you cleared your throat and asked, “Why’s that?”

Way to avoid the topic, you scolded yourself.

You swore you saw Cedric let out a sigh of relief. He sucked in a sharp breath, exhaling as if he were trying to calm himself down.

“You fancy me, don’t you?”

Nope, time to run. In fight or flight, you were almost always flight. As you ran towards the door and pushed past Cedric, your body went rigid recalling the memory from two nights ago. You slowly turned around, cocking your hip as you studied the boy in front of you.

“Okay, what is this? Some sort of prank?” you hissed. Now it was Cedric’s turn to be shocked.

“Pardon?”

“I heard you with some girl the other night saying the exact same thing. I’m not a practice dummy, Cedric. You could really hurt someone’s feelings.”

“You heard me?”

“Not by choice,” you grumbled.

“I was practicing asking you out! Cho was pretending to be you.”

You scoffed. “Yeah, and next thing you’ll be saying is you want to take me to the Yule Ball, too.”

“Yes!” he exclaimed. 

He walked up to you so your faces were only inches apart. You held your breath at the closeness, feeling his own breath fan over your face. The way he smelled drove you absolutely crazy: it was like fresh laundry and grass stains, like vanilla and sandalwood. It overloaded your senses but you feigned calm, acting like it didn’t have you weak in the knees.

“You know, (Y/N),” he whispered, “I get nervous around you, too.”

Before you could respond, Cedric leaned in to place a chaste kiss against your lips. Your eyes were wide with shock. As Cedric pulled away, he began to laugh at your expression.

“Data shows that first kisses typically happen on the first date, but it never gets any more heated than a peck, really, but we haven’t even been on a-”

Cedric silenced your anxious chatter with another kiss and your eyes fluttered shut at the sensation. You finally relaxed into his arms, your own hands snaking around the back of his neck. When he pulled away, you met his eyes with a soft smile.

“Are you a little less nervous now?” he asked. You bit your lip in thought, tilting your head.

“One more for good measure?”

#cedric diggory #cedric diggory x you #cedric diggory x reader #oneshot #harry potter #cedric diggory imagine #harry potter imagine #cedric diggory oneshot

[colorseeingchick]

Onigiri and Second Chances

Pairing: Osamu Miya x Reader

Summary: The Black Jackals are hosting a Christmas party, and Osamu agrees to come. But there’s some details Atsumu forgot to tell him- 1, he’s supposed to mass-make Onigiri for the party, and 2, a figure from his past is making a reappearance. 

Warnings: Mostly Fluff, some Angst, suggestive content, swearing 

Word Count: 3.7k 

A/N: Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays everyone! This is far from my best work but I hope its fun regardless !

Osamu swears he can see his breath crystalize before him in his kitchen as he plots the murder of his damned brother. 

Well, plotting his brother’s demise is currently secondary to the molding of the  onigiri in his hand. It feels odd, the contrast between the soft, squishy rice warming his palms as he meticulously works at it and the prickly cold that bites his forearms, bare and at the mercy of the cold air of his kitchen, unprotected by his rolled up sleeves. 

Now, you probably have a lot of questions! 

Why’s Osamu Miya making some lip-smacking onigiri at 4 pm on Christmas Eve? 

Because his bitch of a brother tricked him.

Why’s he making 70? 

Ask Atsumu smh (if it’s not abundantly clear, my boy Osamu is VERY salty).

Has he been here for like, 3 hours already? 

Yeah, he sure as hell has. 

Will he be here for a good few more?

Uh huh. 

Why? 

Well, Osamu doesn’t take onigiri lightly. 1. If he’s gonna make em for Atsumu’s party, he was gonna do em right. Even though Atsumu forgot to mention that onigiri was gonna be the special dish to Osamu- the one making the onigiri- until 10 am the day of, (I’m sure y’all get why Osamu is mad now) there wasn’t a chance in hell he was gonna let his dishes fall flat, especially for a party this big. He has a bunch of specialty flavors he’s been wanting to showcase anyways, and in the process of making so many for such a large number, he knows it’s easy to get lost in a ‘quantity over quality’ mindset. No matter the amount, Onigiri Miya’s quality never wavers (A/N: period king as you should). 

But the AC being broken? That’s not a part of his plan. And it was just kinda, icing on his metaphorical cake of reasons why he’s pissed as hell right now. It makes him question if all this effort is really worth it, at least for tonight. 

Osamu’s initially thought that, because his brother’s the host for this party, that maybe he should try to spruce up a bit, come in lookin like an acceptable counterpart to his charismatic, showy brother. But now? He’ll realistically be here in this kitchen till the time of the party, so he’ll show up lookin a lil rough. Effort that should’ve gone into his looks is not being put into his food.  If Atsumu complains, Osamu will not hesitate to shove an onigiri up his-

It’s whatever. It’s not like he has anyone he needs to impress there anyways. He’s just the onigiri twin tonight. 

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The party is in full swing when Osamu arrives. But unlike Atsumu’s usual parties, the music wasn’t blaring- it’s festive and moderate. And despite being ‘party’ attire, everyone seems a little less scandalous. I guess that’s natural when some business representatives and officials from the volleyball world are also present. Unfortunately, this does mean that Osamu is the most underdressed, but he’s come to terms with it. 

But knowing his brother, there’s no way a Miya party would be fully professional. There has to be some element of childishness or stupidity somewhere in this party-

And Osamu gets his answer when he looks up. 

Mistletoe. And lots of it. It’s not everywhere everywhere. But there’s more than one, and they are seemingly strategically placed. 

Osamu chuckles. Leave it to his brother to try and start shit. All this means is that he has to be careful to not end up in the wrong spot with some random person. He’ll be fine. 

Giant container filled with onigiri in hand, he maneuvers his way to the kitchen, nodding and smiling at his acquaintances as he goes. As he’s about to step onto the cold tile of the kitchen, he stops dead in his tracks. 

Fuck his brother. 

He didn’t say anything about you being here. Somebody’ll have to stop him from slugging his asshat of a twin across the face. 

“SAMMMMUUUU!!!!!” Speak of the devil. 

Atsumu slings his arm over his twin’s shoulder,  a cup in his other hand.

“Are ya drunk?” 

“Huh? No. Gotta keep it together! I’m the host after all.” Atsumu smiles wide, rather stupidly. 

“Great. If yer sober, that means I can beat the ever livin’ shit outta ya and yer gonna remember.” 

“Oi, oi, what did I do!? Ya just got here!” Fear shined Atsumu’s bright eyes. 

“If you could like, not beat my boyfriend up, I’d appreciate it a bit, Samu-kun,” a female voice gently chimes in. 

“Homura-chan, hello.” Osamu’s shoulders relax as his brother’s level-headed girlfriend pops up in between the two, giving Osamu a side hug only to watch Atsumu pout. 

“Homura…” Atsumu’s whine is enough for her to placate him with a tight hug, but she continues to face Osamu. 

“Why do you wanna kill him this time? Not that you’re wrong for wanting to. I’m just curious.”

“Hey!”

“He didn’t tell me they were gon be here.” Osamu’s eyes shift to you, laughing in the kitchen, talking to Hinata and Bokuto, while filling cups with hot chocolate. 

“Oh I thought you were gonna yell at him for not telling you about the onigiris till this morning.”

“That too.”

“HEY!” 

“But I guess it’s my fault they’re here. I invited them, they are my best friend after all. But I should have told you. I’m sorry, Samu.”

“No, no. Its fine Homura-chan. I just…” 

Osamu doesn’t know how to verbalize it. He’s had a crush on you since 2nd year, and it didn’t go anywhere even through college. You two knew each other pretty well, and he almost asked you out. Emphasis on almost. Being honest, he abandoned ship when he saw some guy kissing you after class one day- he figured he had waited for too long. He cut off communication with you soon after, despite your attempts to reach out. Homura had time and time again reminded Osamu that you didn’t hate him, and he did trust her. But that didn’t help him shake off the feeling you did, and always would, resent him. 

It also did not help that his stomach jumped the moment he heard your beautiful laugh resonate in the kitchen, or that his face heated up when he saw you warmly hug your cup of hot chocolate, sipping it so gently. So cute. 

He’s still whipped. Fuck. 

Homura nudges his shoulder, one hand intertwined with Atsumu’s. “We’re not gonna make you talk to them-”

“maybe...” adds in Atsumu.

“-But if they come up to ya, maybe it won’t be the worst thing.”

Osamu looks down, tightly gripping the strap attached to his container. “Okay,” he quietly agrees.

Atsumu slaps his brother’s shoulder with a smile and comments, “ya know where my clothes are, grab em if ya need em” before taking his leave to go entertain other guests.

“I’m assuming you have more containers?” Homura asks, standing by Osamu’s side.

“70 onigiris definitely do not fit in here.” Osamu smiles with his quip, and she smiles back. 

“Figured. I’ll help ya grab the rest. Go and put that down first.” She heads towards the front door, leaving him in the doorway. 

He takes a deep breath before recomposing himself, restoring his classic blank n’ bored expression. He strides into the kitchen, placing the black container down softly and attracts eyes in the process, including yours. He feels your soft gaze somehow dig into the back of his head once he swiftly turns around, walking away back to the front door. As he steps back into the winter breeze, he’s met with Homura’s knowing gaze. 

“They’re single, ya know.” 

Osamu huffs out cold hair, eyes closing at the sting of the wind. And somehow, the cold sting filling his lungs eased the fear in his stomach. 

“I look like shit.”

“Atsu said you could take his clothes. Let’s go pick somethin’ nice out for ya.” 

This is gonna be a long night. 

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Osamu sits himself on the couch, a glass of champagne in one hand. Atsumu’s maroon button-up faintly smells like his signature cologne, and although he usually hates it, something about it helps Osamu channel his brother’s cockiness confidence, which feels very helpful right about now. 

But the confidence he’s tryna channel can only do so much. Suna and Akaashi are both worried as they watch Osamu space out mid conversation. Its far from normal. Suna knows exactly what’s on his best friend’s mind, while Akaashi is astute enough to make a guess. 

“Myaa-sam.” Akaashi gently calls to Osamu. No response. 

So Suna gives him a nice kick. 

“Oi!” Osamu rubs his shin. 

“Talk to them, before ya go crazy and take us all down with ya,” Suna’s tone is flat and bored, but the intensity of the statement is clear. 

“I dunno…” 

“Myaa-sam, don’t you think it's worth a try?” Akaashi’s approach is different, soft and coaxing. 

“Ya know how awkward it’s gonna be?” His leg is bouncing now.

He wants to. Very badly. But he can’t. It might only make things worse. 

“It’s only awkward if ya make it awkward. And that’s comin’ from me. Ya know, from both of our personal experiences, waiting too long is the worst mistake you can make.” Suna turns his gaze back to the kitchen, wistfulness is his voice. 

“We fucked up. But yer gettin’ a second chance. Don’t do it again.” 

Osamu knows Suna’s pain. He knows he’s right. 

“How the hell do I even start?” 

Suna’s gaze shifts to something, or someone, else before quickly locking eyes with Akaashi. 

“Don’t run.” He then gets up wordlessly and walks away. 

Akaashi brushes his pants off before standing, a small smile resting on his face. 

“Just remember Myaa-sam, you’ll only regret the things you don’t do. It’s best to be honest,” and with that, Akaashi also walks away. 

As Osamu’s eyes trace Akaashi’s path of escape, his eyes are caught by you, happily bounding towards him- a smile on your face and onigiri in hand. 

Yeah, that’s you for sure. Osamu is caught between the nerves in his stomach and the fuzziness in his mind as you come up to him. 

“Osamu, hello! Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas, L/N.”

“Can, can I sit here?”

Don’t run. 

“Yeah.”

As you sit down, he notes the distance, he notes how your arms are in front of you, he notes your smile, and he notes how your eyes shine. He notes how cute you look with the onigiri tightly held in your hands. 

“Your onigiri’s are amazing! I always knew you were a great cook, but I’m so sad I never got to try them before!”

“Thank you, L/N. These definitely aren’t my best, Tsumu didn’t tell me I needed to make em till this mornin’ so… I was worried they weren’t as good.”

A lie. He knows they’re not bad. But he wants you to think they can be much better. 

“If this is bad then I’ll definitely have to come by and try more! Because this is the best onigiri I’ve ever had. But maybe that’s because you’re the one who made em.” You quickly move on from your comment by taking a giant bite out of your onigiri, and Osamu hopes that you don’t see how intensely his face heats up. 

Are ya, flirting? With him? Nah, yer just being you, all nice and all. But that doesn’t do anything to mitigate how much you’ve just stroked his ego. 

“Sounds like classic Atsumu, to forget to tell ya something important. What was your day like? Having to prep all this so fast.” You look up at him, expectantly, eagerly ready to listen to him.

Your undivided attention does illegal things to his heart, ya know. 

But just like that, you two fall into your usual pace, as if y’all had never stopped talking in the first place. He tells you stories, you add in charismatic quips, you both share laughs, and slowly the gap between you two closes. Osamu’s hand is now empty of any glasses and lounges against the back of the chair right by your head. You, on the other hand, have your legs pulled up under you, your knees gently pushing against his thigh. 

“Oh my gosh I should be at more Black Jackals games from now on, this sounds amazing,” you say as you wipe a tear from your eye after laughing too hard. 

“If yer goin, lemme know, I can keep ya company,” Osamu lets the words fall from his mouth before he processes what he’s saying. 

You pause, soaking in his words. “Really?”

Now it’s his turn to process his offer. “Uh.. only… if yer interested-”

“I’d love that.” You smile at him, excitement clear in your voice. 

As Osamu indulges himself in the sight of your smile, he realizes that some rice clung to the corner of your face. Out of instinct and enabled by proximity, his hand resting in his lap reaches out to you. His hand caresses your jaw while his thumb drags against the corner of your mouth, down over your bottom lip. Out of shock, you could do nothing but stare at him as his eyes meet yours. 

In this moment, in this place, time has stopped. Osamu has one thought on his mind as he thumbs at your lips. 

I need to kiss them. Now.

But then he didn’t. 

Osamu sharply retracts his hand, a “ah, sorry,” running off his tongue. 

“You’re, you’re fine.” You look down, flustered. “I’ll, be right back.” Osamu sighs and feels his heart start to sting as you walk away, head lowered. 

Fuck me. I fucked up again, didn’t I? I just didn’t want to do anything they didn’t want. 

 Osamu snaps back to reality as he feels a hard slap against the back of his head. 

He’s ready to fight when he turns around, only to see Homura and Atsumu behind the couch. 

“The fuck was that, Samu?” Atsumu aggressively yell whispers. 

“What doya mean!” He knows what Atsumu means. He hates admitting Tsumu is right, but he can’t admit that. 

Homura’s disappointed glare quiets him down. “Don’t do anything you don’t want to, Osamu. But if you want it, you can’t keep running away. And don’t lead them on either, that ain’t fair.” 

“I didn’t know if they wanted to…” Hasn’t that always been the problem? Osamu is a confident guy. He pulls a lotta people, pretty consistently too. But you were different, always had been. Osamu never wanted to hurt you, never wanted to make you uncomfortable. Never wanted to ruin your friendship. But in trying to do that, once it was too late, he knew that’s exactly what he did. And he couldn’t find it in himself to do that again. 

“They want it. I know my best friend. They want you as much as you want them, headass. So if you’re not gonna make a move, I will.” With that, Homura turns on her heels and walks away, Atsumu glaring at his brother while his girlfriend pulls him along. 

That’s definitely a threat. What does it mean? Who knows! But better to not find out.

Osamu’s eyes scan the room and he finds Suna leaning up against a wall, Akaashi standing next to him. Suna’s lazy gaze makes contact with Osamu’s for a moment before closing while sipping at his hot chocolate. Akaashi’s squint also feels more piercing in this moment. 

My boys are talkin’ shit about me? Incorrect, Samu. In case you have not realized, your boys are not the type to talk in the first place. 

I deserve it this time though. He rubs the back of his neck as he stands up to stretch. 

You do regret the things you don’t do. Dammit Akaashi. Time to talk it out. 

Osamu strides through the house tryna find you. He finds you stepping down the stairs, wiping at your face. His heart shatters and he really wants nothing but to hug you. But he resists, mind determined. 

“L/N.”

“Osamu! Hi um… I’m so sorry if I’ve been bothering you.” 

“L/N.”

“I’ll just let you go, I don’t wanna make you anymore uncomfortable.”

“Y/N.” Osamu grabs your arm as you try and walk away and gently tugs you to face him. “Please. Can we talk?” 

You pause, take a deep breath, and then turn to him, eyes still ensuring him that he has your undivided attention. 

With butterflies fluttering in his stomach, he calmly speaks. “I like you.”

Your eyes widen.

“I like you a lot. Since 2nd year-”

“In college?”

“High school.” 

You shudder and tears pool in the corners of your eyes. Instinct takes over Osamu as he pulls you forward with all his weight, throwing you against his chest as he wraps his arms around you. 

“I’m sorry I never told ya,” he whispers to you as he rocks you side to side, your face buried in his chest and your arms tight around his back. 

“I’ve always been so scared of, hurtin ya. You were one of my close friends, and I didn’t wanna mess it up over feelings. I didn’t wanna lose ya.” 

You nuzzle against his chest as he feels you start to shake.

“But when I saw that guy kissin ya one day, I thought… I thought I lost you anyways. I realized I waited too long and that I made a mistake. And then I proceeded to do everythin’ I never wanted to do, I hurt ya and I fucked up our friendship.”

“Osamu, I never wanted him to kiss me.” Your voice cracks. 

“...What?” His eyes go wide with concern and confusion. 

“He kissed me outta the blue. I thought we were just friends but he didn’t see it that way. I was just being myself, though. But right after that I told him there was someone else I liked.” 

Osamu internally hits himself. Maybe he should just ask Atsumu to punch him. How could he be so fuckin’ stupid? 

“I was gonna confess to you after that, but that’s when you dipped on me. I didn’t know what I did, and Homura told me to talk to you and find out for myself- she said it’d be fine if I talked to you, and that I should learn to communicate with you but I… I didn’t reach out. That’s my fault.”

Osamu pulls you closer to him, crushing you as much as he could. It’s his turn to shed a few tears, in frustration and pain. He coulda been with you all this time, but he was being a headass. Maybe Homura should punch him instead. 

“I’m...I’m so so sorry Y/N. I missed ya so much.” He cradles you in his arms, a calming (self-calming) sigh falling through his lips. 

“I’ve missed you too, Samu.”

You two look at each other for a good, long moment before small smiles crawl onto your faces. Osamu pulls you against him once more. 

“Let’s try this again. I wanna get it right this time.”

“Sounds good to me.” You say, sniffles stopping and giggles rising out of your chest. 

He buries his nose into the top of your head drawing in the sweet smell of your shampoo while his hands grab onto your fluffy sweater. 

“So cute! NOW KISS.” You and Osamu jolt out of your hug when Atsumu barks. All Osamu’s (and your) friends had now come to look at you two, smiles all around. 

Akaashi smiles fondly. Suna smiles lazily, and your favorite dumb Black Jackals (Bokuto and Hinata), who were unaware of any history between you two, are now in shock while also smiling like crazy. 

“Get it, Mya-samm!” Bokuto cheers out, causing everyone to erupt into laughter. 

“Wait, wait!” Atsumu runs down the hall, jumps, and then runs right up to his twin. He then proceeds to hold a mistletoe right above yours and Osamu’s head. 

“ I’ve been waitin’ for this shit to happen for Ion even know how many years. No chickenin’ out of it this time.” 

“Wasn’t planning on it, jackass.” 

Osamu’s hands find their way to your cheeks, gently caressing it with his fingers running up and down your jaw. His eyes take their time inspecting every inch of your face, mentally mapping every beautiful feature that adorns you. With the fire hot in his stomach and his lips aching, he pulls your face to meet his, lips gently massaging yours, telling you everything he had said earlier all over again, but this time with his actions. 

He likes you. A lot. For years. And he’s missed you so much. 

He slows the kiss down, taking his time to let you feel his lips against yours. When your hands reach up to hold his face he can’t help but try and pull you closer. 

As he pulls away after a mere 30 seconds, which did indeed feel like forever, his adrenaline is pumping and his smile is uncontrollable. The whooping and hollering slowly starts to die down, not that either of you heard it while so focused on the other. 

Osamu’s eyes find Suna’s. Suna has his camera out, as per usual, but his face has a small smile on it, and he nods to his best friend. With that, he nudges Akaashi and they walk back to to the family room. 

“Alright alright let’s get going boys. We have games that need to be played.” Homura grabs Bokuto and Hinata by the arm and collar (respectively) after giving a look to you. 

In that moment, Atsumu winked at Osamu while doing the ‘okay’ sign with his hands before walking to the room with everyone else. 

It was a signal the two had established way back in high school, when he and Homura started dating. It was their nonverbal sign of permission to the other twin for guaranteed privacy- which was important in a household of shared rooms and shared, well, everything. 

“What now Samu?” You look up at him, tugging him closer now that everyone else was gone. 

“I’m not done with ya just yet.” He smiles down at you, his eyes mischievous. 

You tilt your head in confusion. 

“I’m throwin ya over my shoulder, okay?” 

“Yes but why-” 

With that, Osamu sweeps you off the floor and throws you over his right shoulder easily.

“I messed up for years of my life, and now I have to make up for lost time. I told ya I’m not done with ya just yet.” 

Osamu proceeds to carry you up the stairs, giggles falling from your mouth. 

He’s gonna make sure you know much he really likes you. He’ll shower you in so much love, there won’t be a doubt left in your mind. 

He promises.

Epilogue- the next day

As the Black Jackals all slept like logs in their rooms, the smell of pancakes and coffee filled the air, attracting some of the other guests.

Some of the other boys, Suna, Akaashi, and Osamu, had all slept over, and were the among the first to find their way to the kitchen. 

“Samu, did Y/N get home ok?” Homura asks him while flipping some pancakes at the stove. 

Rubbing his eyes as he approaches her with a cup of coffee in hand, he nods. “Happy n’ safe.” 

“I’m very glad.”

“Homura-chan, I have a question for ya.” 

“Yes?”

“You knew both of our sides of the story from a long time ago. Why did ya never say anythin’? I’m not mad but I’m tryna figure it out.”

She smiles before saying, “It didn’t feel right. I love you both. A lot, obviously. But I think we both know intervening can... make things worse. A lot worse.”

A shared memory flashes through their minds. 

“And on top of that, I don’t think it would’ve solved the real issue both of you had. I wanted y’all to be happy in a relationship, but that meant y’all would have some barriers to cross. Y’all needed to grow before you could work as a couple. So I figured time would do its work.” 

“Although!!” Atsumu’s bright voice cuts in as he marches into the kitchen, wrapping his girlfriend in his arms, “us not telling you they were coming yesterday was 100% planned.” 

“And not telling me about onigiris?”

“Yeah that was intentional. Had to keep ya away from the house long enough.” 

“I’m gonna fuckin’ kill ya, Tsumu.” 

A/N: I hope y’all enjoyed! The ambiguity with Suna, Osamu, and Homura was intentional, so stay tuned!!!

#haikyu #haikyuu #haikyu fluff #haikyu angst #osamu miya #osamu x reader #osamu fluff #osamu angst #haikyu x reader #haikyu oneshot #haikyu imagines #haikyu imagine #osamu imagine #miya osamu imagines #osamu miya x reader #osamu x you #osamu miya x you #osamu miya x y/n #colorseeingchick writes

[jbbarnesnnoble]

JBBarnesNNoble's 2nd Annual Mental Health Awareness Month Challenge 2021

Hello lovely people! And welcome to the 2nd Annual Mental Health Awareness Month Writing Challenge. The aim of this challenge is to shine a light on mental health, medical conditions, and the things that can have impacts on us. This started out initially being a PCOS Awareness challenge last year but through conversations with other writers over Discord, it evolved into a Mental Health Awareness Month Writing Challenge last year. I’m reusing some of the unused prompts from last year’s challenge and adding in some new ones!

May is Mental Health Awareness Month. The goal of this challenge is to lift each other up, and show that it’s okay not to be okay. Spread some love and light during a challenging time in the world to those who struggle with chronic illness, depression, anxiety, self-esteem issues, grief, PCOS, acceptance from their families and communities for being LGBT+, and anyone struggling with insecurity.

This challenge will run through July 31st, 2021. It will run through Mental Health Awareness Month, Pride Month, and the month of July to give people time to write. You can submit it at any time. I probably have too many prompts, but I wanted to ensure that there was a wide array to choose from. Please don’t hesitate to message me if I haven’t interacted with your fic after a few days! Sometimes the tag system doesn’t work and I miss things!

The Rules:

1. Utilize resources available online if you’re dealing with subject matter you’re not that familiar with. I’m not going to go all “cite sources” on y’all, but please do make sure to do your research. Writing about some of these issues can be hard if you don’t have first hand knowledge of how it can affect you. The goal of this challenge is to write about topics that we tend to shy away from, that many of us struggle with, from mental health struggles to chronic illnesses to low-self esteem. A gentle reminder that if you think writing about a subject will be triggering for you, please look after yourself first.

2. Use #JBBNNMHAM21 to tag your fic

3. Dark!Fic- Due to the subject matter involved in this challenge, please don’t submit dark!fic. I enjoy dark fics, but this challenge isn’t the place for them.

4. Smut- Smut is welcome! Make sure you tag it appropriately.

5. No inc*st, dubcon/noncon, underage, etc

6. Ships- I prefer reader inserts, but show me what ya got.

7. NO JOHN WALKER FICS. Please. Please no. I beg of you.

8. Selecting Prompts: Just let me know which one you want to do! 2 people per prompt! The song prompts have a line from them under it. You DO NOT need to use the line in your submission! It’s mostly to help you decide if you’re interested in a song before you take a listen to it.

You also can alter the sentence and dialogue prompts as needed for grammar, be it altering the pronouns used or changing the pluralization of a word.

9. Trigger Warnings: Use warnings as needed. Fics dealing with depression, anxiety, eating disorders, or other mental health issues should be tagged appropriately to ensure that readers that may be triggered by the subject matter can avoid the fic. Trigger warnings are non-negotiable

The prompts are under the cut!

Prompts:

Dialogue Prompts:

“I feel like if I let go, if I move on, I’ll only be proving them right.”

“I don’t know. Am I? Because from where I’m standing it’s pretty damn clear that’s how you see me.”

“You don’t believe that do you? Tell me you don’t. Please.”

“It’d probably be easier if you left”

“Please leave me alone”

“Everyone’s got broken pieces. Some have more, some have less. It doesn’t make you less of a person to have those broken pieces.” @nekoannie-chan

“If it’s okay with you, I’ll take that shake now.”

“What’s the point if I’m going to end up breaking that promise too?”

“You sure about that, moonman?”

“It made you smile though. And that will always be a win in my book.”

“That’s not true. And I will tell you that every day of your life until you believe me.”

Sentence Prompts:

Feel free to adjust the pronouns as needed

It was a day. It was the only way it could be described.

Summer had a smell that reminded her of innocence and a time long since past.

In that moment, the world stopped spinning on its axis as it all shattered down around her.

Some things, there would never be a way to understand. @justrunamok

Like shattered glass, in that moment the illusion was broken.

Forever was a lie, just like everything else.

If you had another condescending doctor tell you your problem wasn’t a problem you were going to scream.

They’d say it was easy, like riding a bike. Except, you never learned how to ride a bike in the first place.

Today was going to be good. It had to be.

It didn’t take a genius to figure out that this was going south.

AU and Trope Prompts:

Soulmate @samsgoddess

College

Childhood Friends @tellmealovestory

Friends to Lovers

Enemies to Lovers

Musicians

Writer

Professional Athlete

Teacher

Coffee Shop

Fake Dating

Accidental Marriage

Royal

Librarian

Doctor

Song Prompts:

1. Nobody Ever Told You - Carrie Underwood

Lyric Snippet: “Wish you could see yourself the way I do. Nobody ever told you, nobody ever told you. Shine like a diamond, glitter like gold, and you need to know what nobody ever told you”

2. Missing You - All Time Low

Lyric Snippet: “And if you need a friend, I’ll help you stitch up your wounds. I heard that you’ve been, having some trouble finding your place in the world. I know how much that hurts. But if you need a friend, then please just say the word.”

3. Barefoot and Bruised - Jamestown Story

Lyric Snippet: “Maybe when your sky comes crashing down, I can be your angel on the ground. If you get tired and can’t go on, I will carry you along, when the rocks below your feet wear out your shoes, when you’re barefoot and bruised”

4. Hold On Till May- Pierce the Veil

Lyric Snippet: “If were you, I’d put that away. See you’re just wasted and thinking about the past again. Darling, you’ll be okay.”

5. If I Surrender - Citizen Soldier

Lyric Snippet: “If I surrender, surrender, to the monsters in me, will it set me free?”

6. Home - Machine Gun Kelly, X Ambassadors, Beba Rexha

Lyric Snippet: “All these miles, feet, inches, they can’t add up to the distance that I have been through just to get to a place where even if there’s no closure I’m still safe. I still ache from trying to keep pace. Somebody give me a sign, I’m starting to lose faith”

7. Broken Arrows - Daughtry

Lyric Snippet: “The best of intentions I lay at your feet. And I need you to see past the worst part of me.”

8. Used - Serious Matters

Lyric Snippet: “The wounds are gone and the pain still lingers. But this time I won’t stand by, I don’t need you in my life”

9. According to You - Orianthi

Lyric Snippet: “According to you, I’m stupid, I’m useless, I can’t do anything right”

10. Let It Land - Tonight Alive

Lyric Snippet: “And everything we hate is something we just bought along the line”

11. Cold As You - Taylor Swift

Lyric Snippet: “You put up walls and paint them all a shade of grey. And I stood there loving you and wished them all away. And you come away with a great little story, of a mess of a dreamer with the nerve to adore you”

12. Tied Together with a Smile - Taylor Swift

Lyric Snippet: “Hold on, baby you’re losing it. The water’s high, you’re jumping into it, and letting go, and no one knows. That you cry but you don’t tell anyone that you might not be the golden one. And you’re tied together with a smile, but you’re coming undone.”

13. Human Interaction - Tonight Alive

Lyric Snippet: “I don’t know love. I don’t know hate. I am numb. Wish I could find the words to say. Asking please, as colors fade. I need to breathe. Before I turn the world to grey.”

14. Therapy - All Time Low

Lyric Snippet: “Give me therapy, I’m a walking travesty, but I’m smiling at everything. Therapy you were never a friend to me, and you can keep all your misery”

15. Scars - Alison Iraheta

Lyric Snippet: “Do you know how hard I’ve tried to become what you want me to be. Take me, this is all that I’ve got, this is all that I’m not, all that I’ll ever be. I got flaws, I got faults, keep searching for your perfect heart. It doesn’t matter who you are, we’ve all got our scars”

16. Hurts to Know - 1551

Lyric Snippet: “I can’t remember what I did to earn you by my side. I can’t surrender. I’ll fight as long as you’re in my life”

17. Spinning Bottles - Carrie Underwood

Lyric Snippet: “He’s in a hotel room, with the tv on. Getting lost in the static with the curtains drawn, knowing this could be the time that gets her gone for good, he’d quit if he could. But one down, two down, three down, four, can’t even recognize the man in the mirror anymore”

18. Praying - Kesha

Lyric Snippet: “Well you were wrong and now the best is yet to come. ‘Cause I can make it on my own. And I don’t need you, I found a strength I’ve never known.”

19. Jersey On the Wall (I’m Just Asking) - Tenille Townes

Lyric Snippet: “If I ever get to heaven, you know I got a long list of questions. Like how do you make a snowflake, are you angry when the earth quakes? How does the sky change in a minutes, how do you keep this big rock spinning? Why can’t you stop a car from crashing? Forgive me, I’m just asking”

20. Five More Minutes - Scotty McCreery

Lyric Snippet: “Time rolls by, the clock don’t stop. I wish I had a few more drops of the good stuff, the good times. Oh, but they just keep on flying right on by like it ain’t nothing, wish I had me a, a pause button. Moments like those, Lord knows I’d hit it. Give myself five more minutes”

21. Dad’s Old Number - Cole Swindell

Lyric Snippet: “Sometimes I forget, these ten digits ain’t my lifeline anymore. Every now and then I dial them up when life gets tough or when the Braves score. Sorry about the one ring hang ups, early morning and late night wake ups. It was just me. In case you wondered, you’ve got dad’s old number.”

22. The Other Side - Lauren Alaina

Lyric Snippet: “There’s gonna be a lot of sadness on a lot of happy days, I’ll try to think of this moment, this place”

23. I Was Here - Beyonce

Lyric Snippet: “So they won’t forget I was here. I lived. I loved. I was here. I did, I’ve done, everything that I wanted and it was more than I thought it would be. I will leave my mark so everyone will know I was here.”

24. Gone Too Soon - Simple Plan

Lyric Snippet: “Like a shooting star, flying across the room. So fast, so far, you were gone too soon. You’re a part of me. And I’ll never be the same here without you. You were gone too soon.”

25. Amelia - Tonight Alive

Lyric Snippet: “And you will always be perfect, you’ll always be beautiful, our hearts, will never forget you. You didn’t belong here, and it’s become so clear why heaven called your name.”

26. Heaven Right Now - Thomas Rhett

Lyric Snippet: “When the whole crew gets together, memory lane goes on forever. We twist a top and pour a little Jack D out.”

#JBBNNMHAM21 #writing challenge #marvel fanfic

[coveredinsweetpea]

HI!!! How are you? I was wondering I could request sweet pea being out late with job for Serpents & comes back to see you asleep in his trailer & he just ends up cuddling you🥺🥺🥺

HIII!!! I’m fineee, things at home have been shitty but writing this blurb made me feel better and helped me escape a bit! I really hope you like it!

-

He's rushing down the street. It's way past midnight, but he's afraid to check the time. Two busy weeks have passed, where the Serpents did everything in their power to stop the Ghoulies from terrorizing the north side, but still, they were nowhere near finished. Danger was looming at every corner, and there was no point in hiding just how annoyed Sweet Pas has gotten during this time. 

After spending 17 years of his life thinking he'd forever be alone, he finally found you. All this time, you've been right under his nose, but somehow, you didn’t see each other. Now that things were finally in place, and your relationship was the definition of a fairytale, he had to work late. Day after day and night after night. And it wasn't just the lack of time you two spent together that was bothering him, it was also the unshakeable fear that you'd get sick of all the waiting, and all the terror, all the bruises and fights. It is safe to say this is probably one of the worst times of his life. If until now he didn't mind not having anyone because he had no idea how good that could feel, the thought of losing you terrorized him beyond words. 

He curses himself as he passes yet another red light, knowing just how worried you'd get if you knew. But he can't help it. He was supposed to meet you at 8, and now the watch on his wrist is ticking away seconds past the 2nd hour of the next day. He hates himself for it.

As soon as he turns onto his street, he already allows his bike to slow down. He doesn't care anymore, as when he reaches his trailer, he just hops off and heads straight inside. Even though he's sure you're not there anymore, he's determined to get a couple of hours of sleep, and wake up to surprise you in the morning with a coffee before school. 

He's so caught up in his own head, drowning in guilt that's not even his, that he doesn't realise the door of his trailer was locked three times, not two like he usually does. He just walks inside, throws the keys off to the side, kicks his shoes in the corner of the small hallway and heads into the bathroom. For a second, he stares at his reflection. One bruised eye and a deep cut under his jaw. He was ready to let his mind wonder, but something catches his attention. 

Moisturizing cream.

"What the-" Sweet Pea mutters under his breath, picking up the nearly empty container. It takes him a few more seconds, but then he starts to notice. Your tooth brush is placed neatly against his. A few hair bands are on the edge of the sink, he sees your panda towel drying up on the hanger beside the tub, and the shower curtain is still yet. And it hits him like a ton of bricks, so there's no point in wasting any more time. He sprints out of the bathroom, only to come to a full stop by his bedroom door. Sweet Pea slowly pokes his head inside, and then he sees you.

His eyes land on your sleeping frame, and it hurts him deep inside his chest. He can't see much, as your laying on your side with your back facing the door. But he's in awe with the way your chest slowly rises and falls, with the way you hogged the blankets and stuffed them between your legs. You're hugging something to your chest, and when he notices his pillow is not in its usual spot, he can't help but smile. 

It takes everything inside of him not to jump in the bed with you. He can't do that, he has dirt all over his clothes, smells like cigarettes and gasoline, and not to mention the blood on his neck from the scratch he'd gotten earlier.

So he hurries back into the bathroom, throws all his clothes onto the floor and jumps in the tub. The water that drips off his body is literally grey, and for a second he's disgusted with himself, but there's no time for that. He reaches for your apricot shower gel, but stops again. All those times you used his shower gel instead of your own come back to him, and he remembers just how annoying it is for him to bury his head into your neck and feel his own scent. So, despite being a bad ass biker full of cuts and bruises, Sweet Pea pushes away his love for soft skin, and uses his own gel.

About 10 minutes later, he walks back into his room, butt naked. It takes him less than 30 seconds to put on a fresh pair of underwear, but now his pyjamas are nowhere to be seen. It comes as a soft tickle to his heart to see you wearing his shirt, so he just throws on a rugged pair of sweats and finally gets into bed.

His arms instantly find you, pulling you so hard against his chest, that if he wasn't missing you so badly, he would've been worried he's crushing you. But that's all in his head, because you feel him and it's the best feeling in the world. This wasn't enough to disrupt your sleep, but when sinks his head into the crook of your neck, kissing all the exposed skin he can reach, you start to awake.

"Pea..." you mumble, half asleep.

"Sleep, baby, I'm sorry I woke you up" he coos, moving to stroke your cheek with his thumb. 

"Is everyone ok?" you question, turning around in his hold.

"Yes, angel, everyone is fine"

"And no one hurt you today, right?"

"I'm perfect, Y/n" Sweet Pea confesses, kissing your forehead as you settle against his chest.

"Good, good" you whisper, pressing your cheek into his shoulder, as sleep is already enveloping you again.

Silence settles. But it's only for a short while as guilt eats away at his heart. Sweet Pea decides to speak again, content with the fact that you might already be asleep. He just wants to try.

"I'm sorry for today, angel"

You just nod your head no, too lazy and comfortable to open your mouth.

"No what?" he asks, rubbing your back as curiosity starts to get to him.

"You know you don't have to apologise to me for something like this" you say, not bothering to move a muscle. Your bodies are perfectly tangled together and you don't want that to change. "That club is your family, I wouldn't love you as much if you weren't so loyal and selfless. I love how dedicated you are, I adore that about you"

Sweet Pea kisses the top of your head as he puts his words together. "And what about you? I'm not here as much as I should be, I can't help but feel like a piece of shit"

"Reverse" you sigh.

"Reverse what?" he asks confused.

"The situation. Had I been in trouble. And the Serpents were fine, every one of them safe. Wouldn't you miss out on your daily White Wyrm gatherings so you could help me out?"

"Of course I would!" Sweet Pea scoffs.

"See?" you roll your eyes, pushing him so he falls onto his back. You hear a soft chuckle escape his lips as you nonchalantly climb on top of him. "You're a fucking good man. My good man"

"I love you, baby girl"

"And I love you"

In this moment, you can feel his heartbeat against your cheek and with his arms safely secured around your middle, you couldn't feel safer.

"I'll take you out for coffee tomorrow before school" he adds out of nowhere.

"I'm not going to school"

"Why?"

"I'm sick"

"What do you mean you're sick!?" he asks, nearly jumping with concern.

"Calm down" you laugh, "It's just what I told my doctor so I could get a couple of days off. You're only home until noon, so I thought it would be perfect"

"You're perfect" Sweet Pea says, kissing the top of your head again.

"I know..."

"And modest too" he jokes.

"I know right!? I'm the whole package!"

"I'm so fucking in love with you it's scary" Sweet Pea admits, gesturing for you to look up at him. When you do, he captures your lips into a kiss, loving and needy. Your teeth clink together and you elbow him in the side, but he doesn't mind. You're all he could've ever asked for. Everything he never knew he needed. And the kiss lasts just a tad bit longer, as it started out lazy, and ended by you pulling away just enough so you could rest your head back against his chest before sleep would come around again, this time enveloping the both of you.

#sweet pea #sweet pea imagine #sweet pea fluff #riverdale #riverdale imagines #sweet pea fic #sweet pea writing #sweet pea one shot #sweet pea blurb #riverdale fanfic #riverdale fic #sweet pea fanfic #sweet pea fanfiction

[theknightswhosay]

Eruri Musician AU

[Whole story can be found here]

2nd March 2012 - Brixton Flat, London

If you’re lucky, there’ll come a moment in life when you’ll have an ‘Eureka’ moment when you find that special something you were just meant to do. I had that special moment not once, but twice.

The first time I was twelve. A scrawny pre-teen with pimples and shit posture, stealing my step-dad’s cigarettes as if that could make me cool.

That’s the only time in my life I’ve been tall. It’s like I did all my growing just before any of the other guys did and then just stopped all of a sudden. That seemed unfair. I mean, guys are meant to keep on growing into their twenties aren’t they? But not me, apparently.

So I was twelve and all the horrors of puberty hadn’t properly hit me yet. This was before all the worst of it: before the whole school seemed to turn on me at once, before my parents disowned me and kicked me out.

I stayed late after school because Mum was late again. I was used to it: she worked three jobs and yet insisted on picking me up when she could, squezing in some ‘bonding time’ on the drive back. Honestly, it was easier to take the bus. I preferred being alone.

I was stuck at school and it was only those lucky kids who could afford extra-curriculars still there. They’d stuck me in the Main Hall to wait, and I tucked myself away in a corner with my battered, dog-eared copy of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets.

The Main Hall wasn’t empty that day. There were a handful of adults, visitors by the looks of it, not teachers, and each one holding an instrument. Turns out it was supposed to be a session to encourage kids to take up music, except of course no one had showed up.

Music wasn’t cool at my school. Not like music music anyway. Guitar was alright maybe, and some of the girls might do piano, but not the guys. Any kind of classical instrument was immediately seen as ‘gay’.

Even then, before I was out, before I even knew I was queer, I knew that being labelled as ‘gay’ was basically a death sentence.

Since I was the only student there, I couldn’t just read my book in peace, oh no. Before I knew it, one of the adults was walking towards me. He was one of those old carribean dudes from East London, well dressed, and wearing a navy hat with a bright feather on it. He looked pretty cool, nothing like the sad, beige-wearing adults who taught at our school. He had smile wrinkles around his eyes and deep dimples in his dark cheeks.

“Hello young man, would you like to try something new today?”

Terrified of human interaction, I tried to hide myself behind my book. He carried on anyway.

“This here is the clarinet, and you haven’t seen nothing so smooth as this before, I’ll bet you. Do you like music?”

Despite myself, I was curious. I peeped my head over the top of my book and nodded.

“Alright then. Well just maybe I’ll play you a little somethin’ and you tell me if you like it.”

And then he began to play.

And that was it. That was my Eureka moment. As the notes streamed out of the instrument, my mouth slowly fell open without my permission. My book fell from my hands in slow motion as I stared at him, all the hairs on my arms standing on edge as the melody wove itself through my soul, nestling deep within where it belonged.

By the time he was done, I knew. I had to learn. It was my destiny to learn. I needed an instrument of my own.

Now usually I was careful not to ask for anything from my parents, especially my step-dad. I tried to avoid him, mostly, especially when he was drunk. He would come home and his eyes would be all red and you could smell him from the moment he stepped foot in the house. My mum and I would be so quiet then, tiptoeing around him, breathing a sigh of relief if all he did was stumble to the sofa and pass out.

For the first time in my life, I had something I needed them to agree to. Luckily for me, there was a cross-school jazz band in desperate need of clarinet players. They were so desperate that the local multi-school fund agreed to back a couple scholarships for students to learn.

Even then, it was a battle to get my parents to agree.

What did I need music lessons for? My step-dad would ask. What even was a clarinet? My mother would ask. If I wanted to learn music so badly I should do something manly like the drums or bass, my step-dad said.

But I’d done my homework. One night I brought home an old Benny Goodman CD from the school library and before they could stop me I loaded it into our bashed up stereo and then a 1930s big band was playing throughout our flat. It was amazing. The music pulled you right up out of yourself along with it, whether it was music for dancing or music for sitting still and being lost. And when it got to the clarinet solo I could hardly breathe. With the trumpets and the drums and everything behind it, it sounded even more beautiful.

My mum came home then, and when she heard the music, I think she finally understood. I don’t know how she did it but she convinced my step-dad to agree, I mean it wasn’t even like they would have to pay or anything.

Finally, I got my clarinet lessons.

The day they handed me my first instrument was one of the best days of my life. It was a beat-up old thing, second hand, and still the property of the school, but to me it was perfect. It was easily the most valuable item to have passed through my room, even if it wasn’t technically mine.

I thought that was it. I had found my calling and I would devote the rest of my life to music.

Of course, nothing is ever so simple.

//

The second ‘Eureka’ moment of my life came twelve years later. It was the night I rediscovered that love for music once more.

When you’re a kid things are simple. Your view of the world is more straightforward, your ideas of how things will happen are all very black and white. And then you’re sixteen and everything is suddenly very real and you can’t hide the fact you’re gay anymore and your piece of shit step-dad is kicking you out.

Bye-bye sixth form. Bye-bye future. Bye-bye clarinet.

The school took their property back, and that was that. I was so busy surviving, just trying to find a place to crash at night and get on my feet, I didn’t have a spare minute to remember what my original dream had been. It seemed like just that: a dream.

With the click of my fingers eight years had passed and I was twenty-four and only just settling into adulthood, only just realising that actually I hated getting black-out drunk and knocking back some unknown drug and waking up on someone’s couch with a crick in my neck.

I’d been seeing this asshole named Jasper for a few years on-and-off. He couldn’t help himself, always falling into bed with new guys. I actually didn’t care about that aspect so much, I’m not one for jealousy, but it was the way he acted that got to me. He’d just disappear without saying a word and I’d know he was on some bender, high off his tits for a whole week and fucking whoever.

Then he’d be pissed if I didn’t want to sleep with him. Of course I wouldn’t want to fucking sleep with him, who knows what kind of STIs he might have picked up. I wouldn’t trust him to use protection anyway, let alone whilst he’s high.

We’d fight, we’d break up, I’d go out on some rebound hook-up or whatever, and then somehow a few months later we’d be back together again. It was stupid. I don’t know why we carried on like that so long.

The night in question was one of those nights when things were ‘off’ with Jasper and I was out looking for some stranger to take home with me and fuck out my irritation. I was drunk and hardly thinking, pressing some random tall guy against the grimy club wall and sucking his tongue into my mouth, the horrible techno bass re-writing my heart beat and swallowing my ears into a buzzing emptiness.

Leaving was a blur, and then suddenly the streets got real quiet as we turned a corner and left Soho behind. Just like that I sobered up, hating how loud the quiet seemed between us.

In the amber street lamps, I saw that he was actually a really attractive guy: strong nose and cheekbones like a whiskey-drinking american dream. His hair was dirty blonde and was long enough to tie back in a bun, an 80s rock star wannabe.

“Is it far to yours?” he asked, breaking the silence. His words curled around his vowels in an lilting accent I had never heard before.

“Not far. Ten minutes, tops.”

He nodded, and seemed to struggle to find what to say next. I rolled my eyes in anticipation of more small talk. I clearly was not drunk enough.

“I didn’t actually catch your name,” he said.

“Levi. You?”

“Erwin.”

I kept my pace brisk, not wanting or needing to exchange more about myself. Out of the corner of my eye I saw him open his mouth to ask more, but abruptly we both stopped, caught by a wave of low sound seeping out of a darkened shop-front just ahead of us.

A lone saxophone. Tenor, from the sounds of it. Deep, rich, and full of feeling.

The solitary melody was captivating and beautiful, and there it was once more: it was like I was twelve years old again in that Main Hall in the school, hearing real music for the first time.

Even with my ears still ringing from the heartless beat of the club, even after so many years without music in my life, even with all the shit I’d gone through, I was just as awe-struck. It was like the very cells of my body were singing along with the sad and wonderful song.

It was many minutes before I became aware of my surroundings once more, and remembered that I was not alone. Startled, I glanced at my companion.

I was pleasantly surprised to see an expression on his face that was very close to what I was feeling. His mouth was open, his eyes shut, a picture of peace.

The song came to an end and his eyes opened, meeting my gaze.

We stared at each other.

He smiled.

The corner of my mouth tugged upwards, threatening to turn into a full-on smile which would mirror his. I had this surging feeling like something really important had just happened, a moment I needed to remember and carve into my memory permanently.

“Do you mind if we just stand here for a bit? I’d like to savour that,” he said, echoing my thoughts.

“Sure.”

He leaned back against the brick wall beside the dark shop front and folded his arms across his chest. I stood there, wanting to enjoy the moment, but feeling uncertain as I usually did around new people. I shoved my hands deep into my pockets.

“I forget sometimes, what music can be,” Erwin said, “But just now, whoever that was playing in there...That’s what it’s meant to be, you know? It just makes you forget all the shit…” he trailed off, eyes unfocusing, clearly thinking about something. Who knows what kind of crap he was going through or remembering.

I knew better than to ask.

“There was a time when I thought I’d devote myself to music.” I’m not normally one for sharing, so I surprised myself when I told him this. The music must’ve got to me, shaken me up so I was looser than usual.

“You still could,” said Erwin, “I started late, myself. Only discovered my love of it in my first year of college. I ended up dropping out so I could keep playing.”

“That’s nice.” I kicked myself. I sucked at conversation.

“I’m just saying, it’s never too late. For all you know you could live to be a hundred. Could still do anything between now and then.”

“You make it sound so simple.”

“Isn’t it? If you wanna make music, make music. If it adds something to your life, make it a part of your life. No?”

I looked at him then. Really looked at him. He looked back, his expression sincere. He really did mean what he had said. My mouth twitched again into something like a smile.

I’m not sure we said much else after that. For what seemed like a long time, we just stood there bathed in orange lamp-light and the ghostly echoes of that sad, beautiful saxophone, each of us lost in our own thoughts. I appreciated that. The moment stretched on. It was comfortable, companionable.

For the first time in a long time, I thought about my future.

//

Part of what made that night so beautiful was that I knew I’d never see that guy Erwin again. We didn’t end up going back to mine, I was too sober and too tired in the end. He gave me his number but we both knew I wouldn’t call. Why ruin a beautiful memory by getting to know him and realise he was actually a complete dick? That was my thinking, anyway.

London’s a big place. It’s rare to cross paths with anyone by chance.

Rare, but not impossible.

The reason I started thinking back on all this was because last night I ran into him again, and what do you know, it was music that brought us together. Of course.

Perhaps I should explain how much has changed since the first time I met him. In the last six years I think I’ve actually started to figure some shit out. I mean, I got sober, which was the best thing I’ve ever done. I left Jasper, a close second best.

Then there’s just other ways I’ve started to build a decent life for myself. I started the little tea stall I’d always dreamed of, ‘Sobrie-tea’: late-night tea for those who want to drink something non-alcoholic, and when I’m not doing that I’m helping out at my best friends’ bookshop. Izzy and Fu run this little queer independent bookshop in Brixton, and the three of us live just above it in this tiny apartment full of plants.

But most importantly, I started making music again. After that second Eureka moment with Erwin, it only took me a few months to save up enough for a nice, second-hand clarinet, and it’s kind of amazing how much you can teach yourself with YouTube these days.

I practised like Hell. Every day for at least an hour. I was addicted. I loved it. And then Izzy bullied me into getting up on stage at the open jam at Little Nick’s on Tuesdays. Shit just stuck. I started meeting people, playing music with others.

There’s really nothing like it: when you’re completely in sync with several other people, all of you going freestyle, only loosely sticking to the melody line but otherwise just improvising. It’s the most alive I’ve ever felt. It never gets old. We go for hours.

My little group plays two nights a week now at Little Nick’s. We don’t get paid all that much between us, but that’s not really the point. It’s a chance to play, to create, and we bring in an awesome little crowd that loves us.

Sometimes I would think about that one night. About Erwin and sitting there basking in the aftermath of beautiful music. I would wonder if maybe I should have called.

I only ever told Hange about that night. Hange’s our crazy scientist friend. They’ve got like two pHds, which is pretty nuts, and yet you never feel stupid around Hange, you know? They talk to everyone the same, roping anyone who’ll listen into their wild theories and latest experiments searching for the cure to cancer or whatever, but always happy to take the time to explain it all in layman’s terms so you can follow along.

Hange’s very much a work hard, play hard kind of person, and we’re always telling them they need to just relax sometimes. That’s how they roped me into going to a fucking metal concert with them last night.

Seriously though, a metal concert. I hate metal. It’s almost as bad as this shit they play on the radio.

Hange went on and on about what this would mean to them, a good break from work and stuff (even though I’m pretty sure metal concert falls into the ‘play hard’ category and not the ‘relax’ category), and what with Izzy and Fu on holiday I didn’t really have any excuse.

So there we were, we’d made it into the grimy, dark old warehouse on the outskirts of town and horrible sounds were blasting out at us over the huge speakers as the warm-up act got going. The place was pretty packed, the floor sticky underfoot. It was, in short, disgusting. Not my kind of venue. Not my kind of night out. But this wasn’t about me, it was about Hange, and Hange was over the moon.

Their favourite band of all time was finally back together after a three year hiatus! I attempted and failed to give a shit, but let Hange rant away anyway. I wasn’t exactly familiar with the Norweigan metal scene, or any metal at all to be fair. I just couldn’t for the life of me see the appeal, no matter how many times Hange tried to play me songs they thought I’d like. It’s the screaming I can’t stand. It’s just a wall of noise. It’s as far from the elegance of jazz as you can get.

Hange weaseled our way to the front, their hand in a vice-like grip on my arm to pull me after them. I cursed as some idiot spilled some of his beer on me, and tried to suppress the wave of anxiety skittering along my skin at having so many bodies so close, nose wrinkling at the heavy smell of sweat and unwashed hair.

Just as we reached the front, the low lights suddenly cut out. A hush descended over the whole room as several hundred people fell silent at once, bathed in darkness. The press of people behind me fell away as every sense floated, waiting, a hundred bodies holding their breath.

It started gentle. The zing of a synth that would run under your skin; static electricity as sound. The sound grew, harmonies of distorted strings layering and layering, the sound panning lazily throughout the room like a rolling, bumbling giant of ambience. Pulling at us from the feet up, it built and built, swirling, taking its time.

And then the bassline started.

There it was. That sweet euphoria that hits when suddenly all the textures would align, several instruments coming together all at once just right. I never expected that euphoria there, in the first few minutes of a metal concert.

Fuck, was all I could think as the bassline pierced through the wild synth like a knife straight through my body, pulling my skin away from my bones.

BOOM BOOM! Lights flared up in time with the bass drum, only to disappear again and leave us subject to that otherworldly bass again. Another minute more just building, the sound growing and I could taste it in his mouth, aching for the huge crashing entrance I knew was around the corner.

Sharp as a slap, the snare came in, 1 2 3 4! And then the lights came on just as the music flared up into life, suddenly fast as anything: a jolt of pure adrenaline. I hadn’t felt a high like it in years. I gasped as I was crushed forward against the barrier, the metal digging into my gut as the crowd behind me jostled and pushed. The part of me that was disgusted was dimmed by the part in rapture; the soaring vocals and incredibly complex guitar lines all winding around the insistent drums and pulling at me until I was hardly myself.

Blurry with the sheer rush of it, it was only after that wild first chorus that I got a good look at the band themselves.

All four members were tall, tattooed, and with a lot of hair. The drummer was shirtless, his long hair dyed bright purple and green. On guitar was a woman with hair shaved along one side, all the better to show off her numerous ear piercings. The lead singer and synth-player had one of those distinctive, not-quite-attractive faces that models often have, his nose a bit too big, his eyebrows much darker than his hair.

And then I turned my gaze to the bassist.

It was him.

It was Erwin.

His hair was shorter, falling just past his ears and he’d grown a wild and rugged beard. The slight wrinkles around his mouth suited him, as did the subtle tan. I couldn’t look away. The source of the most insane basslines I’d ever heard in my life was none other than the man who’d helped rekindle my greatest passion.

The rest of the concert passed by like a dream. It was like I was floating: bathed in the intricate music, yet tethered to Erwin, my gaze locked on him in fascination. What were the odds?

Finally, time seemed to start back up again. The music came crashing to a huge halt, hungry silence hovering in the air. The lead singer spoke to the audience for the first time, how pleased they were to be playing again and some other stuff, but I was hardly listening, still looking at Erwin.

I jumped when the house lights came up, blinking as the audience was suddenly flood-lit with orange warmth.

When I looked back again, Erwin was looking right back. Directly at me. His mouth had fallen open in recognition.

“Levi, oh my God,” Hange said loudly in my ear, “Levi! Erwin’s staring right at you,”

“I’m sure it’s nothing.”

“No, Levi, I’m pretty sure he’s staring right at you. He looks kind of shocked actually. What’s up with that?”

“No idea…” I said, hoping to leave it at that. I had the strongest urge to flee. My legs were shaking slightly as I suppressed a wave of panic.

“I’m gonna go for a piss,” I told Hange, ignoring their protests and further Erwin-related questions and finally broke away from that intense gaze staring down at me from the stage. I was relieved when the house lights finally went down.

//

On the walk home we were quiet. Hange was clearly itching with questions but was battling with themself to keep them at bay, knowing how I could get. I appreciated that. At the same time, the awkward silence was dragging on, and it was another forty minutes until we reached my place.

“Hange, spit it out.”

“What happened back there, Levi? Come onnnn, you can tell me. You totally disappeared for the last few songs after Erwin was staring at you. Do you know him or something?”

I stewed on my words for several paces, battling with my constant desire to never tell anyone anything.

“He’s the guy,” I finally mumbled.

“What guy?”

“From that night. The night I decided to start making music again.”

Hange stopped in their tracks.

“Holy shit. For real? The guy? The one I said you should have married right then and there?”

“Jesus Christ Hange. I’m not marrying anyone. But yes, that guy.”

“Oh my God...Oh my God, Levi.”

“Yeah.”

“So why the fuck did you just run off like that, huh? You could have totally stuck around, found a way to get his number or something.”

“No way. It just wouldn’t have happened.”

“How do you know? You didn’t even try. Maybe you’re the one that got away for him too, you know? Maybe he was staring because he was like, happy surprised to see you again.”

“Nah, I don’t buy it. Look, at best he might’ve wanted to hang out with me or whatever, and then I meet up with him and just like that, turns out he’s an asshole. That’s what happens when you get to know most people, ok?”

Hange chewed on their lip for a bit, a myriad of expressions crossing their face. I imagined they were working through a range of possible responses, clearly unhappy with my words.

I started walking again, keeping up a brisk pace as if to physically move past the conversation. I’d made my decision, the same one I’d been making since Jasper. Most people were just not worth the effort.

Finally, I heard Hange start walking behind me, quickly catching up. After a few more minutes, they launched into a completely unrelated rant about the next research project they were going to work on, and that was that.

I’ll add the memory of that concert to my very short list of happy ones, and I’ll forget about Erwin again.

I’ll move on.

#shingeki no kyojin #snk #attack on titan #eruri #erwin x levi #levi x erwin #levi ackerman #erwin smith #aot #fanfiction #musician #AU

[sneezefiction]

daichi x female reader where they both had a crush on each other in hs but never let the other know (but everyone else knew heh). she didn't want to distract him from volleyball and he was scared she would reject him since a lot of other guys liked her. now they're both out of college and single and run into each other!

Daichi x Reader

an absolutely precious request!!! thanks for the idea and I hope you enjoy it uvu (i decided to make them freshman at university in this fic, just fyi)

a/n: aghh I love Daichi so much. the first words that come to mind when i think of him are “warm, genuine, and protective.” here’s some campus cuteness!! i tried to do a bulleted list, but got carried away and wrote a short one-shot heh <3

warnings: none, read freely!

wc: 1950

---

There are two kinds of people: Those who don’t fear rejection and those that do. Unfortunately, you and Daichi both fell into the latter category. 

From the moment Daichi laid eyes you, he couldn’t take them off of you. The scrunched up face you make when you laugh, the empathetic glance you gifted someone with when they scored a bad grade on a test, and the sweet smile you would shoot his way if he ever caught your gaze. 

It got his heart racing, bearing a side of him no one had seen before. It was an aching mixture of the protective feeling he got when furiously defending his team on the court and the overwhelming joy he drowned in after a volleyball victory. 

Both fiery and vulnerable.

You on the other hand hadn’t noticed Daichi until your 2nd year. 

Yeah, you were both in the same year, but your classes never seemed to match up so he didn’t stick out to you. Your infatuation with the boy truly began at a practice game against a guest team in the Karasuno gym. You’d only gone to appease a friend, but Daichi hooked you immediately. His voice deep, full of command and confidence. You so admired his ability to control the spirit of the court and it was thrilling to witness his powerful, fearless receives. 

He’s also built. Just sayin.

The both of you were hooked on each other, but there were a couple of problems.

First, you knew how much he loved volleyball. The way his eyes lit up at the sight of the court would give anyone chills. You couldn’t bear to distract him even in the slightest with some kind of confession. It felt obvious that rejection would be in your future if you even tried to ask him out, something you would be nervous about even if volleyball weren’t an obstacle. 

Second, the confidence that Daichi exuded on the court didn’t fully translate outside of it. He knew that so many guys were after you. You’re absolutely gorgeous, talented, and witty, able to make an entire class laugh. Traits that any guy would be lucky to find in a girl. So it wasn’t a surprise that half the team, half the school really, thought you were cute. Daichi wasn’t sure he could stand up to that. Even with Asahi and Sugawara’s attempts to convince Daichi that you definitely liked him back, he didn’t want to risk it. 

“Daichi-san, what’s the worst that could happen?” Asahi pushes, “You do realize that she always cheers for your number right? She’s always looking your way in class and on the court.” 

Sugawara huffs, “I would have asked her out myself if it weren’t for your stupid crush.” Daichi sends a sharp glare at Suga, making him snicker through his signature smile.

It was clear that the two of you had a crush on each other, but timing really is everything. Daichi had to focus on finding his confidence off the court. You needed your own wake up call: the freedom to make your feelings known without fearing the outcome. 

---

Flash forward to your Freshman year at university. Spring brought cherry blossoms and fresh feelings, contrasting perfectly with the dreary Winter months you’d just escaped from. You wish you’d worn an extra layer, but you’re simply stuck with a thin, long sleeve shirt today. The 1st semester of college went by quickly, not leaving you much time to make friends or establish a social life in general, but you were determined to make the 2nd semester memorable. 

You decided to join a study group that met regularly at the library. It’s pretty early in the new year, so you didn’t expect many people to show up, so you tried not to get your hopes up. The chilly air outside made you walk a little faster up the concrete stairs. Taking a deep breath to calm your heart rate, you reach for the grand wooden door to the library. Finding the meeting room wasn’t difficult, but what you didn’t expect was to be the only one there. So you wait a while, pulling out your books and holding out hope. You weren’t banking on any more surprises, but wow you’re about to be in for a real treat.

Daichi peers in through the door window to the meeting room only to see the back of a girl's head. He sighs, I’ve probably got the wrong room, but decides to check with her just in case.

He cracks open the door, “Excuse me, is this the… uhhh…” You turned your head toward the male, your (h/c) hair whipping around with it. Both of you do a bit of a double take, eyes widening in recognition.

“You- you’re Daichi, right?” You asked, your eyes bright with silent excitement and cheeks getting pinker by the second.

“Ah yeah, hey! Y/n?” He responds, scratching the back of his head with his own dimpled smile.

You smile wider at his remembrance, “That’s me!” You both turn to look around the room, unsure what to do next. You decide to add, “But apparently it’s just me,” you laugh a little, “I don’t think anyone’s gonna be showing up anytime soon either, sorry.” 

“I don’t mind!” He says a bit too eagerly. “I mean, um. I was honestly just looking for someone to hangout with anyways.” He straightens up, doing his best to be honest about his appearance.

“Ah, me too actually. I had a long semester and I still don’t really… know anybody.” You tilt your head cutely, but you can’t help but sound a little down about it.

Daichi just nods in understanding. “It hasn’t exactly been eventful for me either. Sugawara and Asahi are both at different universities, so it’s odd not knowing anyone at all.” You sigh and nod back.

He takes a moment to think, face getting a little flushed at his idea. There’s a coffee shop a couple blocks off of campus… and judging by the lack of faces, there won’t be a meeting here today.

“Hey, y/n, would you want to maybe walk to get a coffee with me? My treat of course.” He offers while adjusting the sleeves of his black, fuzzy jacket, doing his best to hide any hint of nervousness in his voice.

Your heart starts to beat faster. It’s not a date. It’s not a date. It’s not a date… but wait it kinda is? I mean he’s paying? 

You let yourself stare off for a moment too long without saying anything and Daichi puts a hand behind his head, with an apologetic look. “Hey, no worries if you don’t want to, just thought I’d offer. I feel like we might have some stuff in common.”

“No, no, I’d love to! Really. Just let me pack up my books and we can get going.” You turn to pack up your book bag, collecting the papers you let loose and gathering stray pens. Daichi waits patiently in the doorway, secretly freaking out a little that you actually want to go get coffee with him??

You both make your way out of the room, back out the door, and onto the brick path toward the cafe.

One look at you and Daichi can tell that you’re shivering from the biting wind chill. “Are you gonna be okay, y/n? You look cold.”

“A-ah no I’m okay, j- just kind of chilly.” Your teeth chatter through the entire sentence, all of your lying creds dropping way down. 

Before you can stop him, Daichi is shaking off his big, cozy jacket, grabbing your book bag from you, and placing the coat over your shoulders.

It’s warm… and smells warm too? If warm and snug were a scent, it would be Daichi, you decide.

Meanwhile Daichi is doing his best to hide a smirk at how smooth that was. Thank you, wind god, he acknowledges soundlessly.

As you both make your way to the road, he stretches out his arm, offering you something to link your own arm onto.

You take it gratefully. You begin to relax as you fall into rhythm with his own footsteps and begin to make conversation.

“You know, I remember you pretty well. I would go to a lot of Karasuno’s games. You really are talented, Daichi.” He turns his head down toward you, his short black hair getting ruffled by the wind and a sweet grin forming on his face.

“I remember! You were kinda loud actually.” He chuckles and you elbow him gently followed by a feigned indignant, “Hey, rude!” Then joining him with a giggle that makes him go oh so soft. 

“But really, y/n, you encouraged us… me, a whole lot back then. I really appreciated the support.” You flash him a grin, “That’s what I’m here for.” You reply.

Despite his nerves, Daichi feels brave for a moment, choosing to be honest, “Y’know I meant to speak to you more then. I just wasn’t sure how… something about highschool really screws with your head, y’know? It’s easy to get caught up in everyone else’s business.” He sighs, attempting to sound thoughtful, but he’s entirely focused on your response.

You look ahead, stepping up to the next crosswalk, making sure to watch your step before commenting.

“Same here. I really… just didn’t want to get in your way.” You explain.

He looks back down to you questioningly, inviting further comment.

“I can tell how much you loved the team.” You smile warmly, looking down at your feet as they hit the pavement. “And I loved watching how seriously you all took the games. I felt like I might’ve been intruding.”

“It’s not intrusive to start a conversation y’know.” You’re one to talk, he shoots back at himself.

You both approach the coffee shop, he lets you walk in first, taking the jacket off your shoulders as soon as y’all find a seat. He asks for your coffee order and walks up to order while you get comfortable at the shiny, wooden table. Cute atmosphere, white ceramic mugs, and a sweet date? This might just be my new place. You nod to yourself.

Daichi, looking really smart in a brown wool sweater and black jeans, makes his way back to the table with your and his coffee. Once he gets himself settled, you continue where you left off. 

Coffee in hand, it was time to subtly shoot your shot.

“I didn’t start a conversation with you because I wanted you to be able to focus completely on what you love. Daichi, I really liked you. How could I get in the way of what you’re so passionate about?”

His mouth slightly agape, he lets himself get slightly flustered. Wow, she got to it before I did… wait a second??? She actually did... does like me? Am I an idiot?

“W-wait really?” He stammers, then attempts to compose himself.

“I mean, same here. I, uh, liked you a lot. I just thought you would find someone before I could say anything… and I… guess I didn’t want to totally shatter my ego.” He says candidly, placing a hand on the side of his flushed face, squishing it slightly.

You laugh a little at his honesty, but you’re blushing now too.

“So do you still, y’know- are you interested in making this a regular thing? I just want to get to know you better, really.” He expresses with a genuine sweetness you’d never encountered in a guy before. “I know it’s been awhile since then, but I think it’d be fun.”

“Yeah, let's take it slow, but I would love that.'' You gift him with your most charming smile, brushing a stray hair away from the front of your face.

“So tell me about more yourself…”

#daichi x you #daichi x reader #daichi sawamura #ask #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu!! #haikyu #haikyuu fanfiction #hq headcanons #hq fanfic #hq #daichi sawamura x reader #daichi headcanon #sneezefiction

[gaygryffindorgal]

HPHM character profile

Identity

Name: Verna Aelia Malinda

Gender: cis female

Age: Depends on the timeline

Birth Date: December 15th, 1972 (Sagittarius)

Species: Human witch

Blood Status: Half-blood but thought to be pureblood by the Wizarding community.

Sexuality: Lesbian

Alignment: Chaotic good

Ethnicity: Mixed (black mother, mixed father)

Nationality: British

Residence: The Malinda Manor, somewhere in the English countryside

Myer Briggs Personality Type: The Protagonist (ENFJ)

The Mage

1st Wand: Hornbeam, 11 inches, dragon heartstring, unyielding

2nd Wand: Ebony, 11 ¼ inches, dragon heartstring, unyielding

Animagus: Calico cat

Misc Magical Abilities: -

Boggart Form: Evil!Jacob turning against her.

Riddikulus Form: Evil!Jacob transforms into a tiny, angry kitten.

Amortentia: (What do they smell like?)

Fleetwood's High-Finish Broom Handle Polish

Caramel apples

The orchard behind her childhood home

Amortentia: (What do they smell?)

Nailpolish

Old books

Coffee

Patronus: Calico cat (same as animagus form)

Patronus Memory: A summer day at the Malinda manor when Verna was young, Jacob is teaching her to fly while her parents watch from the sidelines, happy and carefree.

Mirror of Erised: Her family back together again, everyone is safe and content.

Specialized/Favourite Spells: Depulso (the banishing charm), Incendio (the fire-making spell)

Appearance

(I don’t really 100% vibe with her in-game appearence since the hair selection for natural hair is not the best but I make do.)

Height: 5′10 (178cm)

Weight: like normal weight for an athletic girl that tall ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Physique: Athletic

Eye Colour: Blue

Hair Colour: Black

Skin Tone: Brown with warm undertones

Body Modifications: Earrings, nose ring (6th year onwards), a few tattoos as an adult

Scarring: -

Inventory: Wand, Merula’s gift necklace (5th year onwards), some cat treats for Osborn, random old homework and other pieces of parchment discarded at the bottom of her bag at all times, a bag of apple rings (her favourite sweets).

Fashion:

It’s 1984-1991 and I want jam city to let it show in their quest reward items!!!

Allegiances 

Hogwarts House: Gryffindor

Ilvermorny House: I don’t really vibe with Ilvermony so I have no idea xD

Affiliations/Organizations: Gryffindor house. Gryffindor quidditch team, Malinda family, Circle of Khanna, The Order of Phoenix

Professions: Worked as a Defence Against Dark Arts substitute teacher for a year shortly after Hogwarts, trained to be an auror for a while but dropped out due to disagreements with Ministry policy

Hogwarts Information

Class Proficiencies:

Astronomy: A

Charms: O

DADA: O

Herbology: A

History of Magic: P

Potions: A

Transfiguration: E

Electives:

Care of Magical Creatures: E

Muggle Studies: E

Quidditch:

Verna is the chaser of her house’s quidditch team for most of her Hogwarts career.

Extra-Curricular: Duelling club, Dragon club

Favourite Professors: Minerva McConagall

Least Favourite Professors: Severus Snape, Patricia Rakepick

Relationships

Brother: Jacob Aurelius Malinda

Growing up, Jacob was Verna’s hero. He is five years older than Verna but nevertheless they spent a great deal of time together as children, Jacob often babysitting his sister. Although he was never as much into Quidditch as Verna, he would spend hours teaching her to fly and even take her to watch matches a few years before his disappearance.

Although otherwise short-tempered and rash, Jacob had endless amounts of patience for Verna. With very absent parents, Jacob all but raised Verna from a young age and Verna trusted him to look after her more than their parents, which is why it was shocking to her when he disappeared without a word.

Father: Mervyn Malinda

The sole heir to the Malinda estate, Mervyn is an important character within the Wizard society. However, what the general public doesn’t know, is that he is, in fact, an illegitimate child with a muggle mother. This has been kept secret by his grandmother, father, and step-mother throughout his whole life. The only other person to know the truth since his birthmother’s passing is Juniper, his wife.

Mervyn works as the Head of The Department of Magical Transportation. He is not a very affectionate father, but he tries his best to support his children. Mervyn used to be a Gryffindor.

Mother: Juniper Malinda, née Raeburn

A prominent witch from the pureblood Raeburn family, Juniper married Mervyn Malinda out of love. She is a little eccentric and spends a lot of time working on her potions. For a time, the Malindas had a relatively peaceful life with their two children, up until Jacob went missing. After that, Juniper and Mervyn grew distant and started to argue a lot.

Juniper works as a potioneer and values learning, diligence, and holding onto what you believe. She used to be a Ravenclaw.

Love Interest: Merula Snyde

Verna and Merula start out as rivals but due to having to work together during their search for the cursed vaults, they are forced to spend time together. Both start to develop a crush on the other but are in complete and utter denial about it. Verna is the one to realize her feelings first, and she starts to antagonize Merula just to have tension-filled moments with her, which is a completely normal and rational approach to letting your crush know you like them.

Merula and Verna date in school and a while after it but eventually break up in the turmoils of the war. Depending on the version, they might end up together later on though.

(also, as a sidenote, i headcanon merula as like, really short so this dynamic is so much fun when verna is TALL)

Best Friend: Charlie Weasley

They both like Quidditch and are complete dorks. Worst pair of prefects Gryffindor has ever seen, totally incompetent at their job.

(Is this me projecting my love for Charlie into my OC? Absolutely yes and I have no regrets.)

Rivals: Merula Snyde, Patricia Rakepick

Enemy: Voldemort, R

Dormmates: Rowan Khanna, Skye Parkin, Eloise Montague, and  Yasmin Wakefield (the last two are my ocs just to fill the dorm for my fic but these spots are up for grabs if anyone wants to be dormmates!)

Pets: A black cat called Osborn

Closest Canon Friends: Charlie Weasley, Rowan Khanna, Ben Copper

Closest MC Friends:

Farrow Raeburn @threeon1match​

Verna’s cousin from her mother’s side of the family. He is a year younger than Verna and in Slytherin. They are nevertheless close, and Farrow has a huuuge crush on Verna’s cool, dragon-loving friend Charlie.

Background/History

Pre Hogwarts: 

Verna had a wealthy childhood in the countryside at the Malinda manor. She had a close friendship with her older brother who taught her to fly her first broom. Verna had a keen interest in learning spells even at a young age, and her parents would often find her using magic before she was allowed to (often with disastrous consequences). The year Verna was meant to start her studies at Hogwarts, her brother went missing and her mother became very distant, while her father acted as if nothing was wrong. Verna became determined to find and rescue her brother.

Hogwarts Years:

If I would get around to publishing my fic maybe you guys would find out!! But the basic skeleton of the storyline follows the game’s events, just modified to suit a different medium and sans all the dumb stuff!!

Order of the Phoenix / 2nd Wizarding War:

Verna works as a substitute teacher in Hogwarts for a year, after which she trains to become an auror. However, she doesn’t like the way things are run at the Ministry, so she quits and moves home to the Manor for a while, trying to figure out what to do with her life. Before she can come to any conclusions though, the Second Wizarding War starts to pick up speed and the secrets her family has kept all these years transform from dangerous to fatal. Verna is recruited into the Order of the Phoenix by her old friend Bill Weasley.

Verna reunites with many of her old friends from school while working in the Order. Her father is killed during the war and her relationship with her mother goes through a lot of turmoil.

Her ultimate fate is not set in stone and in some versions she dies during the war and in others she makes it.

Post-War:

Depends on whether she survives or not. If Verna lives, she will eventually find her path to a teaching position at Hogwarts OR a curse-breaking job with the (much-changed) Ministry.

She also reconciles with her ex Merula, and the two of them get together.

Personality

Positive attributes: caring, brave, selfless, confident, passionate, protective, resourceful. Negative attributes: impatient, impulsive, stubborn, cocky, reckless, competitive, short-tempered.

if you made it this far, wow! congrats! thank you!!!! i love you forever!!!

#hphm #hogwarts mystery #hogwarts mystery mc #jacob's sibling #*mine #verna malinda #i have been sitting on this post literally for fuckkfkging ever #i read some amazing profiles by awesome people today and finally got the motivation to finish this!! #*hits post and immediately runs and hides under a rock for a week*