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#This kid is a menace

thedevilundercover · 3 months

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Tim Drake de-aging fic but everyone is just kind blown how that little monster is the Timothy Jackson Drake that they know.

He’s not even a gremlin, he’s just mean and knows a little too much about stuff than the usual rich brat.

Damian: tsk, you’re such a disgrace the Wayne name.

Tiny!Tim: yeah? And your mother should have swallowed, but we’re both here aren’t we?

Jason, thinking he could bully smol Timmy: you stopped so low that you replaced a dead boy! *emo edge lord noises*

Baby!Tim, having learned new slang words via duke and Steph who think this whole thing is hilarious: have you ever thought about just getting better?

Jason: ex-fucking-cuse me?

Tim, shrugging: dying really is just a skill issue ngl

it would be even more funny if he was like this only to Damian and Jason so everyone thinks Tim is such a smart, adorable little boy but the two of them are screaming at Dick and Bruce to get that fucking demonic child exorcised

#tim drake #He deserves to be a little asshole #De-aged Tim drake #kid tim drake #unhinged tim drake #Damian Wayne #jason todd #bruce wayne #dick grayson #red robin #batfam #tim drake is a menace #tim drake headcanon #incorrect dc quotes #stephanie brown #duke thomas

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introspectivememories · 2 months

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in a better world, nico rosberg and lewis hamilton never get divorced and nico still retires after his one wdc and he still becomes a reporter and instead of the the awkward interview we got last year, we get thousands of brocedes interviews where they're being stupid together. lewis moves to ferrari and nico publicly quizzes him on his italian. nico interviews another driver and lewis is in the background making fun of nico. people make compilations of lewis and nico making each other laugh during interviews.

#i am struck with a vision so potent of lewis pulling nico into a hug in the middle of nico interviewing someone else #lewis winning a championship and nico and vivian are the first ones to spray him with champagne...#the amt of uncle lewis content we would've gotten with nico's kids #it would've been vivian‚ vivian's husband nico‚ and nico's homoerotic friendship lewis #they would've been terror together. reporter!nico and racer!lewis #AUUUGH WE COULD'VE HAD IT ALL #god could you imagine teamlh and nico rosberg on the same side??? menaces for real #lewis hamilton #nico rosberg #brocedes #f1

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swiggity-swexual-i-am-asexual · 1 year

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I love seeing Danny Phantom showing up and being like ‘don’t ask too many questions but John Constantine I own your soul. All of it. Lmao sucks to suck bitch’, and he’s usually all Ghost King Full Regalia as he does it, at least in front of the Justice League, but consider—

He just shows up as Danny Fenton.

“yeah I got bored and collected the pieces like Pokémon. Gotta catch ‘em all” says the 5’2 teen who looks like a stiff breeze could trip him. He denies being a sorcerer, or a magician, concedes he’s maybe psychic but mostly he’s just…. The kid of two mad scientists—who have a basement lab where they opened a portal to what he SAYS is not hell but no one is frankly CONVINCED, by the way—and he hasn’t decided what to do with Constantine yet besides getting Danny into some r rated horror movies, but figures he should tell the dude probably.

“What’d you even trade for some of his soul contracts?”

“Don’t worry about it”

They worry about it

#danny phantom #john constantine #dp x dc #dc x dp #demons will NOT admit to being menaced by a baby ghost #not to mention that said baby ghost probably kicked their asses #this maybe changes some of Constantines powers?#like I don’t know the exact details but he primarily sold his soul for an immortality cheat. but he probably got some powers out of it?#so like maybe now it’s fueled by Danny/the ghost zone or some such?#not quite a Halfa but like what do you MEAN his pretty gold magic is TOXIC GREEN?#Danny just sorta shrugs and goes Yeah That Sounds About Right #and then does not elaborate further #he’s selling that he’s just a normal kid VERY HARD #they’d almost believe him if they didn’t know he had ALL OF CONSTANTINES SOUL CONTRACTS #bonus content of Batman #you can choose what he’s doing but I think it’d be funny if Danny found out about the contingencies and went Oh Cool I’m super allergic to..#… this one specific flower haha #not at ALL elaborating that this flower is rare and WILL melt his skin. oh and that he destroyed the world in at least one timeline hehe #one reason I love OP Danny in DC universe—if Danny’s native to that universe he HAS to be OP. because he WOULD HAVE TO HAVE defeated…#…if not outright killed #the ENTIRE LEAGUE #ITS GREAT #1k #2k #3k #hnnnnnnnn #4K #5k #?!??!!!

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deadsetobsessions · 4 months

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A click. The closing and opening of a camera shutter. The whirr of film as it slides across the inner workings of his camera.

Timothy Drake heaved himself off of the concrete roof as soon as the vigilantes left his eyesight. He swaps the film roll, placing the used one inside of the tin with a barely restrained grin. He’d gotten good shots tonight- a confrontation with Harvey Dent, batarangs swooping to cut the new Robin free- and Tim was excited to race back to his dark room in order to develop those candids.

He climbs down the side of the building, the spelunking gear he’d splurged his parents’ money on working wonderfully on Gotham’s stone and concrete buildings.

“Mom, I want to be just like you guys!” He’d said, and his mom agreed to spare no expense for his new hobby. Well, their secretary did, with his parent’s disinterested permission. After all, spelunking is sometimes needed for artifact digs… probably.

Besides, the moment he had brought up Bruce Wayne’s propensity for “spelunking,” his father had immediately sent him more cave scaling stuff in order to “network with the other successful businessmen, Timmy!”

Tim slides away from the alley with full awareness. Even in Bristol, one had to be careful to avoid the multitudes of goons out and about. The Narrows are definitely worse than Bristol and Tim wasn’t about to let his hard work be taken away just like that. As he trudged home- taking a taxi once he was in a slightly more “trustworthy area”- Tim became slightly lost in his thoughts about the identities of Gotham’s vigilantes. Technically there’s only two.

Tim knows there’s three.

Batman.

Robin.

Nightwing.

Bruce Wayne.

Jason Todd.

Dick Grayson.

His sharp mind, now assuaged from the mystery of their identities, worked hard to match the fights he witnessed to the injuries the prolific Wayne family hid the next day.

Timothy Drake thinks he’ll never get bored following his vigilantes.

——

He’s bored. He’s so irrevocably, irredeemably bored.

Tim had been so excited to go, too! Perhaps for different reasons than everyone else because he was here to observe his heroes out of their masks, not for the Annual Wayne Gala that’s the end-all of high society life. As in, if you weren’t invited, that’s the end of your social life. Bruce Wayne held high society in his palms and Tim is only fifty percent sure he knew and/or cared. Regardless, he was prepared to be a pod-son to his parents’ fake good-parents act, and accordingly suffered thirty minutes of cheek-pinching and fake laughs just for the opportunity to see the three Bats in one place.

They’re not here. They won’t be here for another twenty minutes.

Anyways, he’s bored and irritated. Definitely annoyed enough for some bad ideas.

And Tim might not be aware of this fact about himself until much later when he’s more self-aware, but a bored and irritated Tim Drake is bad news for everyone.

He takes after Janet Drake, after all, and Janet Drake is only after Bruce Wayne in influence and cunning.

And his heroes, his beloved heroes, are the targets of his ire tonight. Tim smiles wider, pod-person smile widening to a baring of ravenous teeth incredibly off putting on a nine year old, and immediately changes course towards the delicate jello squares sitting at the buffet table.

The Waynes will be learning the importance of punctuality at their own galas by the time Tim’s done. He swears it. He even has a get out of jail free card!

Just. A small bit of petty revenge.

Tim nabs a bowl full of the jellos, snacking on one as he makes his way to the Wayne family’s most favorite balcony. Everyone knows it’s the one the family members go to when the Gala gets overwhelming. It’s an unspoken rule that no one else may enter it. Tim slips around the blind spots in the cameras.

High society might call someone a bitch in forty different ways, all hidden behind silk smiles and false eyes, but they’d respect the oddest things.

Tim… doesn’t care. He’s been breaking rules since he was seven.

He sets to his task, setting the jello cubes in the places he’d calculated that Jason or Bruce or Dick might step on. Mild revenge, yes, but Tim doesn’t want to bother Alfred too much. The butler had looked a bit tired earlier. Task done, Tim squeezes back into the party and smiles like his life depended on it.

“Brucie!” His dad boomed, and Tim felt his smile widen once more.

“Jack!” Batman’s Brucie personality bounced into the ballroom as the party kicked back up with the host’s presence. “How’ve you been, old chap?”

“The digs have been very fruitful!”

“I see you’ve brought someone with you today! Well, other than your strikingly beautiful wife, of course!”

“This is my son, Timothy!”

“Hello, Timothy. It’s very nice to meet you.”

Oh. My. God. He’s shaking hands with Batman!

“Hi. I’m Timothy Drake.”

“Oh my gosh, Tim!” His mom laughs, fake nails and laugh digging into his shoulders. Oops. Too informal.

“It’s alright.”

“BRUCE!”

Oh my god, it’s ROBIN. Tim’s smile twitches, barely containing his squeals.

“Jaylad? What’s wrong?”

“Someone left jello cubes all over the balcony!”

“What?” Bruce (Brucie, Tim decides is the name of the mask) turns to his parents and excuses himself.

“Mom? I’m going to go network with Bruce Wayne’s son.”

No, he’s not. He’s gonna go watch them lose their minds.

“That’s my boy!” His dad claps him on the shoulder and shoos him off. His mom narrowing her eyes at him but ultimately dismissing him.

Perfect. By the time he gets there, he hears Nightwing- Dick Grayson, oh my god!- asking “O” to figure out who left all those cubes on the floor.

“Drake?” Ah, shit.

“Weren’t we just talking to him earlier, B?”

“Yes, but I haven’t got the slightest idea why he’d leave jello cubes all over the place.”

“Assassination attempt?” Jason asks.

“Whatever it is, it ruined my running shoes!”

“Dick, please, just wash it off or give it to Alfred.”

“Ugh, we can just go ask him.”

“And make a scene?” Jason sounds eager.

“No. Alfred ordered us specifically not to.”

Silence. Tim grins and slips away, making his way through and voiding the cameras as usual.

—-

“Timmy!”

Tim smiles politely at Brucie Wayne while inwardly cheering. His dad looks at him with stars in his eyes and leaves him to work his magic.

“Yes, Mr. Wayne?” Pod-person smile!

“This is my son, Jason. And this is Dick.”

“Hi. I’m Jason!” He holds out a hand for Tim to shake. Dick smiles at him and Tim thinks he might expire on the Wayne’s ballroom floor.

“Hello,” Tim suppresses his urge to scream excitedly. “I’m Timothy Drake. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“Woah, you sound so stiff.”

“Jason!” Brucie Wayne chides. “Anyways, Timmy, you looked like you had something to tell me earlier. Something wrong, kiddo?”

No, no he didn’t. But… they don’t know that he knows their secret. And they don’t know he knows that they don’t know.

Tim acts confused, but then clears up with his expression like he just thought of something.

“Oh! I was wondering why you were late, Mr. Wayne. Did Batman stop you on the way back?”

“Huh?”

“Oh, I know you don’t really like Batman, Mr. Wayne,” Tim cackles inwardly. “But he saves you a lot. Were you stopping crime?”

“I… I’m not Batman.”

“Well, I know that,” Tim huffs. “It’s just weird no one’s seen you and Batman in the same room.” Tim cheerfully ignores the alarm making its way onto the trio’s faces and his dad’s frantic, further away, cut it out motion. “But obviously that’s because Batman’s busy putting on his gear, right?”

“And how do you figure that…?” Dick asks, tense.

“Uh, he always knows when you’re in trouble? He always comes in minutes of you guys getting held hostage. Is his base on the manor grounds? Oh, is it a secret that you’re funding him? Don’t worry! I know how to keep a secret! Can you tell the new Robin that I think he’s the best?” Tim grins cutely up at Batman. Ah, he means Brucie Wayne.

“Sure can, kiddo! Don’t tell anyone else, okay?” Jason swoops in, grinning back Tim.

Eeee!

As he nods, Tim can’t help mentioning the cubes. “Oh, sorry about the cubes! I thought I’d be able to track them with their shoe print if Batman and Robin came to save you guys but I guess that wasn’t going to happen. I’m really sorry!” He uses the “cute duckling” face and Dick visibly melts.

“No problem, Timmy! You should come over to play Clue with us sometime! I think you’d be good at it.”

“Oh! Really?” His words becomes a bit more genuine. “I’ve never played it. My mom and dad aren’t around much so. Um. Would it be okay if we do?”

“This weekend.” Brucie Wayne’s voice suddenly became more firm. “I’ll talk to your parents about it.

—-

As Tim waves the Wayne’s goodbye, he hears from Dick, “You only like him because he said you’re the best.”

And Jason’s reply, “Because he’s got good taste,” made the rest of his night. Not week, because tomorrow, he gets to poke around Wayne manor again!

#tim drake is a menace #tim drake #bruce wayne is tired dad with unhinged kids #bruce Wayne’s adoption senses are tingling #bruce wayne #batman #nightwing #Tim literally dngaf and is waiting for the bats to play catch up #dick grayson #jason todd #robin #jello cubes as a weird shoe print identifier #technically he did catch Batman and robin

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nailgunstigmata · 10 months

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i love that the twins dont fight physically because everyone knows that dee would snap dennis in half like a glowstick. it would be a massacre too traumatic to air on television. she would have him crying on the floor in 3 seconds i know her kicks are lethal and she bites like a rabid skunk….she would pull his hair so hard it all falls out and hes left bald and whimpering. i rlly hope that one day dee just snaps and beats his ass but i respect her for every time that she doesnt. but in my mind im always thinking of dee wrestling dennis in that fountain

#deep in my bones i know that dee was the kind of kid to best up bullies but also bully dennis a bit like i know she wrestled him a little #until he went crying to mom and ruined it etc #deandra reynolds i know u were a menace. i know u still are

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charlietheepicwriter7 · 3 months

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We've seen DP and DC be different universes where Danny and Valerie are the only heroes in DP, but there are thousands of heroes in DC. We've seen where DP and DC are in the same universe, and Amity Park just thinks the Justice League are ignoring them.

But what if DP and DC are different universes, BUT Danny and Val aren't the only heroes?

If we treat superheroes as basically cops/military with superpowers, then we can infer what heroes would be like using cop/military statistics. You could even use My Hero Academia society as a basis. Things like "heroes are more interested in protecting private property than serving the public" and "Heroes have high levels of PTSD and physical disability and aren't helped after they retire" are common knowledge in Danny's universe.

And specifically, the one I wanted to make clear for this prompt: In Danny's universe, heroes are highly likely to abuse their family/sidekicks outside the mask.

Suddenly, Danny's in the DC universe. For a low-stakes reason; if he's there because the DP universe imploded or his parents tried to kill him, he'd be too concerned about himself to act on his instincts. No, Danny's there for a vacation and there are so many heroes and kid heroes that he feels sick.

Maybe he catches Batman being rough with his kids, or overhears Superman "belittling" Superboy (Conner). Nevertheless...

Danny ends up thinking that all the Justice League are abusing their sidekicks and families and becomes a villain to save them.

#dc x dp #dp x dc #dpxdc #dcxdp #dc x dp prompt #Danny's trying really hard to help and superheroes in his home dimension are really bad so he thinks the worst #C: danny fenton #c: bruce wanye #c: clark kent #c: connor kent #danny becomes a supervillain in one city after another #discovers that the hero he's menacing isn't abusive #and that the mentee isn't abused #then goes to the next one #occasionally there is an abusive hero #like he calls green arrow out on his bullshit regarding roy #but danny getting the sneaking suspicion that something's weird about the heroes here #all the kid heroes know danny's not a threat because all he does is feed them fudge and ask questions like a social worker

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nelkcats · 1 year

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Ghost children and the worthless treaty

The DC dimension had faced multiple dangers: invasions, threats, multiple ends of the world, demons. And yet what finally defeated the heroes were children.

The Ghost King was the one who took care of the children for the most part (because he understood them). Which was a terrible idea considering he was a teenager himself and all of his knowledge was pretty skewed towards his own children. Another thing to take into account: his two children were 24 and 14 years old (but not really? He said it was complicated)

So when the Justice League finally contacted him about establishing an alliance, the king gave them a test, that if they completed it they would establish a peaceful alliance immediately and he would owe them a favor. Danny didn't mind making alliances but he needed a few days off from his own children.

When they heard of the test, the heroes accepted, trusting in his abilities. Take care of children? Piece of cake, they had Young Justice and it wouldn't be much different. The king smiled with all his fangs and told them to take care of his children's friends as well. To which Constantine had a horrible premonition.

The League did not expect the problem that would be keeping "Dan and Dani" Phantom in check. Along with Youngblood and Klemper. The four of them much preferred Danny's care, and were not at all thrilled with the situation.

The appearance of the ghostly "teenagers" didn't make it any better, and Batman began to question if it was worth it. Dan Phantom claimed that it could be worse, since he was technically "grounded" and couldn't hurt anyone. Dani teased him about it.

Constantine knew it wasn't worth it.

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