The in-universe Gothamite's guide to shipping your resident billionaire 💀
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"You're laughing," Bruce deadpans, and even with those contacts on, that burning glow of anger lights up his brown eyes whiskey golden. "Our toddler stole your car, robbed a toy store, and you're laughing."
"You look so beautiful when you're angry. "
"Harvey."
"Doll. It's funniest shit ever," Harvey exclaims, holding a pleased looking Jason, happy as a clam, cuddling a wonder woman kangaroo plushie.
Jason giggles, " shit!"
Bruce groans. Harvey grins harder, "That's funny too! Come on, you're tellin' me our kid ran over the clown, and you don't find it funny in the slightest."
"Not at all."
"You're just mad you didn't ran over him first."
Bruce doesn't deny that. "He's taking the toys back."
"Eh, come on."
"Harvey."
"Oh, what are ya gonna do? Send me back to arkham?"
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"You don't listen to him, kiddo," Harvey says, behind a wall of glass, back in his orange scrubs. Harv is irritated with him because his Bruce time is limited. "You're gonna do great things. Great, destructive things."
Jason laughs, two front teeth missing after following Dick on patrol. Turns out flying takes more than self-confidence and prayer. "Shit."
Harvey still laughs like a maniac.
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I like to think whenever Two-Face kidnaps Gotham's beloved prince Bruce Wayne, Brucie would use the time he was with his former friend to catch up on sleep, because even though Harvey's a villain and all, he still associates him with warmth and safety, and he knows that Two-Face/Harvey would never actually harm him.
Two-Face would just let him. Maybe he'll start reading a book, with Bruce leaning on him with Harvey's arm wrapped around him, until either Batman's flock or the GCPD show up, or Alfred just pays up the small sum (because 5 million bucks is a small sum for the Waynes) demanded and then Two-Face would just, let Bruce go. When it's Alfred paying, Bruce will even give the villain a hug and/or a kiss on the cheek before leaving.
:) I just really like BruHarvey/TwoBats
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“Must you betray me with a kiss?”
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Kidnapper: Good morning, Two Face Bitch
Bruce, sweating and doing damage control in Brucie mode: Too faced?! I know my makeup skills are amazing but it's a little too far to call it another face-
Kidnapper: Shut up! Call your boyfriend Two-Face and tell him to back the fuck off my turf
Bruce: ... My what?
Kidnapper: Don't play dumb with me! Everyone knows you've been dating since he was still a lawyer
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Bruce Wayne is simply everyone’s work wife
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i love never taking anything srs, i love shit posting.
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