#aka I wanna write but my brain won’t let me

[yallwildinrn]

When you wanna write but you also don’t wanna write

#dear diary #I am a mystery wrapped in an enigma #aka I wanna write but my brain won’t let me #PLEASE I just wanna write my blorbo holding cats #I may need to simplify it further to let the ol girl work #god I’m so tired

[amyisherenowitsokay]

Alrighty. If you’re still doing those writing prompts, all I know about your ship preferences is that you like ZaGr and Stolitz, sooo… Idk, I think 18 sounds cute? Or. 22 or 33 also interest me lmfao. Whatever you want and whoever you want since you’d be the one writing it. I suck at these, but I do like your writing so I figured I’d send one in... 😔

Paige I have chosen all of them at once because you are my friend and I am also incapable of making even the most inconsequential decisions 

This can pretty easily be read on its own, but I imagine this set in the unpublished AU I’m still writing in the background of all my other many projects. No matter what universe it's set in, it’s right in the middle of a will they/won’t phase of their relationship.

Fandom: Invader Zim

Pairing: Zim x Gaz

Words: 2200+

Prompts: 

18. “I’ve never been there. Wanna go?” 22. “You’re not going to settle for that. Not if I have anything to say about it.” 33. “I was lying earlier.”

A/N: I imagine this set in the unpublished AU fic I have ongoing, but I think you could argue this fits in just about anywhere where Zim and Gaz are bordering on the will they/won’t they line.

The air smells like gasoline, copper, and something distinctly metal that puts her teeth on edge.

The silence is disquieting. In particular, because it was only moments ago punctuated by a screaming so loud it’d drowned out any hope of thought. Gaz was smart, and intelligent, and had an eerie amount of composure for someone her age. Even still, her body physically aches from keeping so still and so tense for so long. She feels sick. It feels like she was holding a golf ball in her throat that she couldn’t swallow. It makes it hard to breathe, and the churning in her stomach threatened to send the imaginary golf ball back up the other way.

The only sound she’s able to register is her own heartbeat. She has her teeth clamped hard against one another to prevent making any noise. 

Zim still isn’t making any noise. Gaz wants to say something—anything—but keeps her mouth shut. It would be incredibly stupid to potentially trigger additional security just so she could verbalize a question that should’ve spoken for itself. Zim would let her know if it was safe, and in the meantime, she was going to stay parked in this little corner of what had once been his otherwise immaculate lab. A lab that he’s now destroyed. Thoroughly. Gaz can’t help but sneak glances in the places that the precariously dangling lights hang on (and fuck, this lab really is made of stronger stuff; most of the lights in the circle of destruction are seemingly hanging on by literal threads, but through all the violence, had only swayed, without showing any significant signs of detachment. The only disturbance was the occasional flickering.) It’s bad. Really bad. The word ‘vulnerable’ comes to mind, but somehow, looking at Zim poised in the center of it all, remarkably unscathed, the word dies, discarded in the back of her mind. 

The sudden absence of growling makes her realize that he was growling in the first place. It’d just sort of filtered out, unregistered by her ears. Now that she was paying particular attention to that portion of her senses, some of the general hustle of city noise could be heard in the distance as well. 

She makes another valiant attempt to swallow the metaphorical golf ball to no avail. Her mouth is too dry. 

Only when he takes a deep, steadying breath does she suddenly remember how to breathe. He stands up straight, fingers carding over his antennae, and turns. 

Whatever he sees in her is enough to make him wince.

Gaz’s brow rises, somehow finding the energy to be a little offended. What did he want from her? She was only human. Exceptional, but still. Sometimes a body compelled decisions, overriding the brain. In her case, and in this instance, that is exactly what had happened, and was exactly why she was curled out of the way, as far from the epicenter of violence (aka Zim) as she could manage in the confined area. Sometimes, a body screamed ‘duck and cover’ without ever consulting the brain. In this case, it felt warranted, even if it left her probably looking like some cowering idiot in front of her . . . friend. Whatever they were. 

He looks like wants to say something. She could be wrong—it’s not like she’s used to interpreting the shifts in skin and muscle on an alien face just yet—but he seems to be holding an apology behind his clenched teeth. 

Whatever he wants to say, if anything, he seems to reconsider. Instead, he makes his way over the scrap towards her. Some of it he kicks away spitefully. Most of it he just steps over until he’s crouched in front of her. One hand finds her bicep. It’s gentle, but firm.

“Up,” he coaxes.

She manages to get to her feet, but only barely, and mostly with his help. It’s embarrassing how much she needs his help. Adrenaline is a hell of a drug, and it was doing a number on the steadiness of her legs. 

“We shouldn’t have come here,” he announces quietly. 

The snort that comes out of Gaz is compulsive, and earns her a sharp, curious look that she pretends to not feel burning a hole into her cheek. She pretends to be enraptured by the surrounding mess of what was once a lab, stationed in the middle of nowhere. 

“It’s not your fault,” she says, generously. “It’s my bad.” 

And it had been. Zim had mentioned it off-handedly, in a moment of unusually careless honesty. An old hideout, in a city more dangerous and intriguing than where the two of them had been stashed away. The newness of the idea had been immensely appealing, enough where she’d pressed for details, until eventually, the words had seemed to come on their own.

18.

“I’ve never been there,” she’d said. 

Zim had turned to her with a calculated interest. His eyes had narrowed, lips pursing briefly, before seeming to decide in favor of his initial impulse. 

“Would you like to?” He’d asked. 

And now look what’d happened.

Zim sighs. The noise quickly morphs into a groan. “This will take me ages to repair.”

Gaz somehow finds herself reaching for the nearest robot. She feels Zim stiffen, but he doesn’t stop her. Not even when she picks it up—or the biggest piece of it up, anyways—and rolls it in her hand.

“I’ve never seen robotics like this,” she comments. It’s true. The robot is immensely advanced. That nerdy, secreted part of her wants to sit down with a screwdriver and better lighting and start peeling it apart. Her father would be proud. 

Zim scoffs. His toe snaps in the direction of a chunk of leftover, once-hostile robot, sending it bouncing off into the dark. “Tch. This is hardly impressive,” he grumbles. “This lab is more the Empire’s than mine—including its laughably outdated security. I could show you much better inventions. Things of my own design that would put this to shame. Oh, what things,” he finishes with a deeply satisfied hiss.

Gaz’s brow rises. “Oh yeah?”

“Of course,” he boasts. The lingering oddness between them seems to be dissolving in favor of Zim’s usual arrogance. One of his hands reaches for her expectantly, clearly encouraging her to get off the floor and leave the ‘inferior’ robot pieces alone. 

But because she’s Gaz, she ignores him. Even the metal encasing the device is unfamiliar to her. 

Said device is suddenly plucked from her hands by a metal claw, and tossed away. Before she can offer her protests, or start an argument, its in front of her face, all four little finger-appendages clicking together. It’s hard to say, but it feels nearly disapproving. 

Non-metal claws grip the back of her neck. Not hard, and not threatening, but he’s angry. She wants to categorize that under ‘what else is new,’ but goosebumps break out along her neck and shoulders. It’s a physical reaction to his proximity, one she’s been noticing more and more of lately. She wishes she didn’t notice. It’d be easier if she was still oblivious.

He brings himself level with her, looming over one of her shoulders from behind. The way he hisses in her ear sends an uninvited thrill up her spine that she firmly ignores. 

22.

“I will not tolerate you being so fascinated by something so pathetic,” he insists. It sounds nearly like a threat, but not necessarily one meant for her. “Not as long as Zim is here to properly educate you on what a real death machine looks like.”

“These were real death machines,” she points out. She’s trying to figure out how to shrug him off without making it painfully obvious how uncomfortable she is. 

“Bad ones,” he dismisses. The hand on the back of her neck flexes. She always forgets how creepily long his fingers are. His thumb and index finger are closer together than they would be on a similarly proportioned hand. Not quite touching, but close.

Oh, wait. He’s done that talon thing again, where he flexes them, like some sort of demented green cat. He must be fighting with his own residual adrenaline. Still tense, and waiting for another attack.

“I was told this would be a fun field trip,” she points out. Another robot bit is juuust out of reach. She tries to stretch for it without Zim noticing.

The hand on her neck flexes sharply, keeping her in place without actually hurting her. A growl that sounds more like a warning than just impatient irritation rumbles against her back. The shiver that follows is entirely involuntary. She tries to play it off by following it with squirming, as though she was simply trying to wiggle out of his hold.

His other hand grips her shoulder, pressing her center of gravity into the floor. Keeping her kneeling in place. A part of her thinks it might be precautionary, but she’s mostly convinced he’s just fucking with her. She’s got a feeling an imminent comment about subservience is incoming. Normally she’d already have her snarky reply ready to go, but her mind is drawing a blank past trying to figure out how to grab another robot bit without being too obvious about it. It’s probably impossible like this. Zim’s face isn’t visible from his position behind her, but she knows he’s watching her every move like a hawk. A creepy, weird, murderous, arrogant little hawk.

She reaches behind her, going for a swat at his face. He jerks backwards, which counts as a success, but he never relinquishes his grasp. 

“Fuck off,” she snaps. 

The hand on her shoulder now comes to grip her defiant hand. The action only serves to bring them closer as she tries, semi-successfully, to pull that away too.

“Shut up,” he snaps. “I’m doing a sweep for more of them.”

“No you’re not,” she argues. She’s slippery and wily, and while her neck remains trapped in his fingers, her hand manages to break free. She clutches it between her other one protectively. “You’re just standing there.”

“I am infiltrating the security as we speak, idiot girl,” he insists. “If anything is left online, you run the risk of incineration upon standing. My PAK is emitting minimal shielding for us. Be patient for once in your miserable little life.”

Now that she’s paying attention to it, she can hear a little bit of a hum in his PAK that she’s come to recognize as it’s ‘I’m doing something’ noise. So he probably wasn’t lying. But that doesn’t make this position any more comfortable.

Their brief struggle however has managed to scoot them a little closer to one of the robots. She thinks if she’s quick, she can snag it, so she goes for it. 

She grabs it successfully. Unfortunately, Gaz hadn’t anticipated just how sharp it would be. She jerks backwards, and three of her fingertips have blood beading on them. 

She’s extremely glad he can’t see the wince, but her swallow must be obvious with the way he’s still got a grip on her throat.

“Done,” he suddenly announces.

His grip on her disappears, and she pretends not to notice the cold left in its absence. Less friendly is the way he not-so-gently drags her to her feet. She only barely gets her barings before he’s pushing her forward.

“You are safe now,” he purrs, mocking her with the sweetness of his tone.

Gaz has a really hard time believing that. She turns to meet his eyes as hers narrow suspiciously. 

They’re not really friends. They’re not even formal allies. She doesn’t trust him. She shouldn’t trust him. Especially not with how he’s smiling at her like that.

‘I don’t feel safe,’ she nearly says. Nearly. Gaz only just manages to suck her lip in at the last second to keep from voicing it. She’s not afraid of him, but she’s not stupid. There had to be at least a few dozen robots, each determined to eviscerate the ‘intruder,’ aka her, scattered across the floor in shreds. She’d seen him tear a few of them with his teeth, and plenty of them fell to the talons that are only just now retracting back into ‘normal’ appendage lengths. 

Her three fingers start stinging viciously, reminding her that she’s in need of minimal medical aid. It seems like a bad idea to suck them into her mouth, given her unfamiliarity with what the evil robots are made of. Who knows what they could be coated with. Whatever it is, it’s probably not a good idea to ingest them.

She wipes them on her jacket instead. Zim grimaces at the sight of it.

33.

“I was lying,” he said suddenly, meeting her eyes flatly.

Gaz’s brow rises in a prompting fashion.

“Earlier,” he explains. “You are never safe, reckless creature.”

She beams, immensely smug about having irritated him so thoroughly. “Is that a threat?”“You’re a threat to peace,” he retorts. However, the sentiment seems to amuse him. He smirks at her. “Which makes you an appropriate associate of Zim. Now hurry up, before something else stupid happens.”

#iz #invader zim #zim #gaz #zagr #fic #mini fic #writing prompt #amyisherenowwriting #sorry for the wait bestie hope you like it

[myfanfic-urfantrash]

my rambling fuel is my friend’s fanfics he lets me read from time to time on docs when he’s in writing mode and makes like 10+ fanfics in 2 hours 😭 (aka the one who helped me with the fidget ramble) and also just random little fics here on tumblr & ao3 that get my brain going

(rambling essay by 8am tomorrow? bestie say less, i’ll have it by 5 😌 /hj [i promise i won’t flood your inbox with rambles]) - messy nest

The less you say the more I wanna read what you're reading messy nest anon :3c

FLOOD MY INBOX I LIVE FOR THE RAMBLES I DONT CARE IF I NEED A BOAT XD

[the-lavender-creator]

Just left a ranty comment on your new fic. WHICH I LOVE BTW. It was so fucking adorable honestly on my top five of my favorite fics you’ve written!

Jsnejdjsd

Also I wanna try to make these next two weeks our Toradeen weeks. Since monster high won’t hype up the finale. WE ARE. Let’s write as much Toradeen (or monster high) stuff as physically possible and single handedly turbo boost the fandom. Get enough people excited to actually watch it live! Aka getting the show more likes and veiws aka aka aka getting the producers to renew it for a third and fourth and fifth season!!!!!

I know you got a shit ton of prompts. I have a few I’m working on. Lol technically two. But I’m also working on my Yellowjackets fic still.

But monster high has me on a choke hold so I’m very excited. I think I’m finally getting back into a groove where I can write a bunch!

I’m currently working on the one you promoted me ages ago that I just haven’t touched with a ten foot pole. If I can write that one. I can write anything lol

I have g3 brainrot and it SHOWS I'm not gonna write only Toradeen since my brain is a melting pot of ships at all time but it's all gonna be g3 it's gonna become a problem

#mr-walkingrainbow

[berryunho]

pls i typed that ask at like 4am after the show i’m so surprised i got that many details bc half of the show feels like a blackout i literally ??? have videos of wooyoung that i don’t remember taking so when watching those i was like ah. wooyoung bias indeed i love him <3 AND LISTEN I GET WHAT UR SAYING but the loyal lifestyle just. isn’t for me. i’m loyal to atz only (not even) bc hj would k word me for LoOkInG aT oThEr OpPaS but. wooyoung. is a menace. he deserves the slander sometimes /lh

AND ! no one gets me the way san does bc WOOYOUNG’s hair is black when i wanted oreo but san did everything my delusional little brain manifested (aka wear the outfits i wanted him to) like ?? there is no way there won’t be an era of me having san as my bias </3 like listen.. i don’t wanna be delulu and stuff.. even tho i might be a little.. but a while ago i said i wanted san to wear sage green for a layout that i never even made.. n literally the next day he was on the radio or something wearing a green cardigan.. tell me he’s not meant to be my bias u literally can’t

also when i first started stanning atz it was wooyoung who pulled me in !! and weirdly i stayed loyal for a LONG time even when hongruella looked THAT fine during the last tour (literally. saw hongruella in the flesh on my bday. imagine. how did i stay loyal) but i always thought it was a bit weird?? bc i usually gravitate towards the introverts for literally any group/artist (tho i.. only stan atz rn.. oop hongjoong u better jot this down rn i am the most loyal atiny ever/j) so i thought it was a little bit out of order for me to like and stay loyal to THE extroverted social butterfly.. but then my bias line was completed with both infps aka my mbti.. and it suddenly made sense dhsjsh i just ! gravitate towards san a lil now AND ESPECIALLY AFTER THIS CONCERT he’s truly one of my fav comfort ppl like.. he said something and immediately after i was like WRITE THAT DOWN!!! and opened my notes app to write it down LMAO my friend was like wtf are u doing and i was like uh. comfort words??

last thing before i nap… san shyly dancing to cyberpunk for us again during the concert.. take my heart RN sir it’s literally! urs ! and thanks hwa for making that happen i died a lil

anyway i’m good and i hope you’re good as well <3 mwah mwah -san anon

HI !!!!

4am !!!!??$))(# wow you were quite coherent for 4am im also surprised LOL BUT THATS SO FAIR I GET IT ADJKFLASKJF its inevitable to jump around when you're a kpop stan like when 8 lovable men are presented to you .... why have only one bitch when you can have five ! KJLFDKSJAFSLJKDF

PLS THE MANIFESTING AKLDFJSKDFJ i love it i am a huge fan of being delulu i think life is too boring if you dont let yourself have a little joke around every once in a while AND BELIEVING THAT COINCIDENCES ARE MANIFESTATIONS.... IM HERE FOR IT !!!

eheheh i enjoy learning this lore about you san anon... i agree you are very strong for being loyal despite hongruella on your bday like .... thats crazy .... like i got my american ass on an airplane and flew to germany last may to see hongruella in the flesh .... in a completely loyal to yunho way of course ! JAKDJFSDFLJK BUT omg that actually is pretty interesting !!! id say yunho very much falls in line w my usual bias "type" lol but its funny bc that Type is just. the Opposite Of Me. BUT ANYWAYS hehe i get it ! all of them are just so ... <333 and literally why have i never thought of busting the notes app out that's actually so smart oh em gee ....

but ehehe san is so funny like how are we gonna be shy sir !!! after everything !!! hehe i hope your nap was good <3 im quite good ehehe a little bit nervous ........ but overall good hehe anything else exciting going on in your life san anon? hehe mwahhhh

#san anon #answered

[xtinyaurora]

Ateez reaction: Them getting jealous {Rated}

____________________________________________

➼ requested:no

➼ genre:smut

➼ gender neutral + Ateez / gnxateez

➼ Word-count: 1371 (1,3k)

➼ Warnings: nsfw content, strong language, cursing, a tiny bit of spanking, jealousy

➼ Note: This is not based on their real behavior or meant to represent real life. This is simply a fan fiction and is only for the purposes of fun, it’s a hobby, so read at your own risk!

➼ A/N / Auroras Note: Sorry for all writing mistakes. Please request something.😭 Request are OPEN!

_____________________________________

Park Seonghwa

„Will you you do it again?” growled your boyfriend. You let out a cry after earning a harsh slap on your butt. You still didn’t answer him, you were too embarrassed. Well, maybe you shouldn’t have flirted with one of his best friends and kiss him on the cheek. Yeah, dumb idea... „I asked you a question and I expect you to answer it.” Ouh yeah, he’s pissed. „I, I, I-I’m sorry, Haw.“. Your boyfriend’s let’s out a low chuckle „Oh, you are? Really?! Dumb pet, whoring around to get my attention. Tsk, no no baby not this time, I won’t let you get away with this again. Hah! You really think I didn’t notice before, how funny. Oh baby, we will have so much fun tonight, well, at least I will.”

Kim Hongjoong

He watched you with his prying dark eyes while you were laughing and and touching one of the staff members, constantly complimenting him on his looks. You just smirked to yourself once you realized how your boyfriend was actually feeling, but that’s what he gets for ignoring you earlier. Once you started stoking through his hair and kept laughing at his... not so funny jokes, Hongjoong lost it. He got up, grabbed your wrist and pulled you out of the room. Once he reached a quiet palace, he started; „You think this is funny?! Had your fun, yeah? Good, because I will get that dirty smirk of yours out of that pretty face and leave tears all over it instead. Would you like that, huh?! Me fucking you so hard until it hurts? Don’t worry baby, I will do this in no time.”

Jeong Yunho

„Thank you! Hihihi.“. It was San who was currently giggling over your compliments about his dancing skills. You gave him a sweet smile through the mirror of the dance studio. You could feel that your boyfriend was getting all moody aka. jealous over your friendly flirting with his teammate. „So tell me San, how can you look so sexy throughout the whole time? I don’t think I ever saw someone as good as you!“ were your last words, before your giant boyfriend pulled you out of the dance studio. „What is your fucking problem?!“ oh god, someone’s mad. „What are you talking about Yuyu? I was just being friendly“. He let out a scoff „Oh yeah, being friendly? I thought you were planning on giving him a blowjob next.“. Ouch. „Excuse me?! Ok, I get that you are jealous but you don’t have to be so rude, men.” Like, you really didn’t mean to flirt with him like that... „MEN?! Did you loose your fucking mind?! You know what, I think I should fuck some sense into your stupid brain since you clearly forgot your place, little one.”

Kang Yeosang

He was waiting for you to finish your drink so you two could finally go home, cuddle and watch movies. As you were finishing your drink, the waitress came up to you, giving you a little smile. „Exuse me, miss / sir? May I ask you for your number before you leave?“. You sat there, looking at him in shock. Did he not realize that Yeosang was your boyfriend? „Uhm, I-I’m sorry but I have a boyfriend.”. Then, you turned to your boyfriend who clearly didn’t appreciate the question you were asked a few seconds ago. „Ah, I see. Of course someone as pretty as you is already taken. Good evening, hope to see you again.” Was the last thing he said before leaving you two alone. You looked back to Yeosang, who was starting at you. „What?”. He stared at you for a few more seconds before standing up, reaching out for you and pulling you into an intense kiss. You were shocked to say the least, you boyfriend wasn’t someone who liked PDA or something. „We are going home, don’t come back to this place EVER again or I promise I will make you regret it.”

Choi San

„And if I do, what are you going to do about it?!” you screamed at him. You two were currently in a heated argument, you being accused of loving all the attention the other males at the party gave you. „Oh, you really wanna know what I’m going to do to you, pet?”. No, you actually didn’t wanted to find out to be completely honest because you knew what kind of a beast you boyfriend can be once he heats up. You loved San with all your heat, no question, but sometimes his unnecessary jealously annoyed the shit out of you. „No answer? Okay, I will make you scream talk, baby. Let’s go”. He harshly grabbed your wrists, pulling you all the way into his car. Once the door was locked, he ripped all of your clothes apart, then started kissing and biting your neck. „San, stop!”. He looked up, then grabbed your neck while adding more and more pressure on it. „Oh no, you don’t get to tell me what to do. Shut up and take it, just like you deserve it.”

Song Mingi

„Baby, stop looking at me like that it scares me.” Your boyfriend and you were currently sitting on the couch, him ignoring and staring at you the whole time, making you uncomfortable. „Please, I told you it was an accident!”. It was tho, you weren’t planning to walk straight into their leader and fall into his bed, laying on top of him. Of course your boyfriend stormed into the room just two seconds later, all hyped up for the movie night with you. „Mingi-ah, pleaseeee. How may times do I have to expl-” „Shut the fuck up.” Damn, that was harsh but hot. You always loved his deep voice but you didn’t expected him to say this. „You wanna make up for it? Then get on your knees, baby. Show me how sorry you are and maybe, just maybe I will forgive you.”

Jung Wooyoung

„Don’t fucking touch me!” yelled your boyfriend, as you were trying to stop him from leaving. „Wooyoung, listen to me, please! How may times do I have to tell you that I’m not interested in him?!” did you yell back. Honestly, your boyfriend is being a pain in the ass right now. While you were in the shower, Wooyoung got annoyed by all the messenges you were getting. So, he took your phone, saw who it was and went all crazy. It was a good friend of you, him interested in you but you not interested in him. Since Wooyoung knew about his crush on you, he tried to cut the contact between you two telling you to block his number. Well, you said you did but... whups. That’s why he got mad and accused you of cheating, you know he didn’t mean to say it but it still wasn’t fair. „Why did you lie to me, huh? You like getting his attention? Like being a slut, HUH?! You know what, let’s film a video of me fucking you while you scream my name, maybe then he will get that you are already mine, and mine only.”

Choi Jongho

He was sitting across from you, blankly staring at you. You were currently on the phone, talking with one of your best male friends, Jongho not liking the way you were talking to him. „Hahaha, I know right! I still remember this day like it was yesterday. I really miss you. Visit my soon, okay pretty boy?” Ah, you two always called each other these names, not really meaning any of it, at least not in the flirty way. You both said your goodbyes and ended the call. „What?” did you ask you boyfriend who was still not moving an inch. He didn’t felt like answering, so you got up end went into the kitchen to cook some dinner. After about three minutes you felt his strong arms around your waist, him slowly pulling you to himself and kissing your neck. „Whoever that was, you will not talk to them, or anyone who’s not me like that ever again, okay?” you only nodded, his deep voice making you shiver, arms holding you stronger. „Good, and now torn the stove off. We have something more important to do.”

#ateez reactions #ateez imagines #ateez #ateez smut #ateez scenarios #ateez x reader #choi san #jung wooyoung #kim hongjoong #song mingi #park seonghwa #jeong yunho #kang yeosang #choi jongho #ateez ff #kpop reactions #kpop imagines #kpop scenarios

[nagito-kissmaeda]

Stay For a While - Komaeda x Reader

Summary: You've been sitting across from this guy in the library every thursday for months now. You really should just tell him you love him and get it over with.

AKA: You spend the night at Nagito's house after your late lecture. and things get..........steamy

Word count: 8709 Contains: fem reader, no pronouns usage, explict sexual content Read on AO3 

ミ☆ Please send me a DM or an ask if you’d like me to write something for you!

You have feelings for the guy who sits across from you in the library. There is a three hour gap between your afternoon lecture and your evening tute, but you live too far away to go home and rest, so you usually grab a quick dinner and then park yourself at the small desk by the window for an hour or two. He is always already there. It’s embarrassing how your heart does a little flip every time to round the bookshelf and see him pouring over assignments, secretly you worry that one day he won't be there anymore. You don’t know what you’ll do with yourself if that happens.

Today he has a book open next to him, he's jotting down quotes in a notepad. His pale hand is stained with black ink from his ballpoint pen, and you are mesmerised by the subtle movement in his knuckles. The setting sun is cascading in through the window, and it catches in his unruly white hair, making it glow orange. He has it up in a messy bun today, it’s really cute. Luckily he’s too engrossed in his work to notice you looking at him, you try to be subtle, you really do. Browsing your phone and only occasionally flitting your eyes up to look at him, you don't even know his name.

His brow furrows and he crosses out his last note, tapping the end of his pen against his lips. They’re very full lips. You swallow and avert your eyes, turning back to your phone and mindlessly scrolling through instagram. Friends have told you to just ask the guy out for coffee or something, but you didn't know how to even start broaching that subject, Hey guy. Wanna grab a drink? Maybe tell me your name sometime? You frown, your leg bouncing restlessly under the table. You’ve been sitting across from this guy for three months now, every thursday, the fact that you haven't even bothered trying to talk to him is just proof of your own incompetence-

“Hey.” A voice says. Soft and calm. You brain stutters when you realise it was him .

“Oh...uh…” you’re picking off the nail polish on your left hand, a bad nervous habit, “Hello…”

“I bought a soda from the vending machine this morning, but it dispensed five…” a can clinks down on the desk in front of you, you’re too busy staring at the way his long fingers grip the top of it, “do you want one?”

You don't really like Dr Hopper, but he doesn't need to know that, “Sure. Thank you.”

He gives you a polite smile and cracks his can open, taking a long sip. His Adam's apple bobs in his throat, you have to actually tear your eyes away from him. Your knee is bouncing faster. The pull tab on the can is hard to navigate with your sweaty and shaky hands, but you manage to get it open.

“Shit…” you mutter, the soda fizzes over a little. Not enough to make a real mess, but it does get all over your thumb, you pull your thumb up to your mouth in an attempt to clean the soda off before it gets all sticky. As you do so, you sneak another look up at the guy. His eyes are glued to where your lips are meeting your skin. His cheeks are pink. There’s a rush of warmth from your heart down to your stomach, the deep orange sun is crossing his left collarbone, you want to trace it with your tongue.  

“Sorry…” He breathes, giving you an uneasy smile, “It’s been jostling around in my bag for a few hours. That was probably my fault.”

“It’s really fine.”

He picks his pen up and goes back to working. You can see his notes pretty easily, without seeming like you’re peeking. His handwriting is messy, but still very legible. The ink stains on his hand are only getting worse as he goes on. When he shifts his feet below the table you can feel how close his legs are to yours, it's a big desk, but he has long legs. You wonder idly how much taller than you he is, he usually leaves before you do. You dont think you’ve ever both been standing at the same time. All of a sudden, the chill of the library gets to you. It was a decently warm day when the sun was out, but now that it is getting dark that’s starting to change. The blouse you are wearing is cute, but it’s also off the shoulder and you are beginning to feel cold. Your phone clunks loudly when you drop it on the desk, freeing your hands to rub some warmth into your arms, the sun is almost behind the horizon now, it’s going to be a cold walk home after class.

“Are you cold?”

You turn back from the window to see the guy looking at you, “huh?”

“I know you probably don’t want someone like me bothering you, but you…” He runs a hand through his hair, it makes it look even messier, “you look like you’re cold.”

“Oh, I mean. Yeah, I forgot how quickly it gets dark this time of year.” You laugh, “I didn't really dress for the weather.”

He tilts his head to the side, your heart is pounding, “You didn't bring a coat?” he asks

You shake your head slowly, unsure where this is going. Hoping it’s going in the direction you want it to.

Then, he stands up. Shaking his coat off his shoulders, revealing forearms so pale and thin you could wrap your whole hand around them. Your heartbeat is so loud you can hear it in your ears as he walks around the table to you. He is so close to you, he’s never been this close before.

“Here.” He says, passing the coat into your arms. It’s warm, “You can borrow this, if you don't mind wearing my gross clothes.”

It isn’t gross. It smells like chamomile soap and fresh laundry, “No I don't mind. Um, thank you.”

You slide out of your chair and stand up so you can put the coat on. He is at least a head taller than you, maybe more. You feel your knees wobble when you tilt your head up to meet his eyes, they are a lot greener up close. Any words that you might have said are frozen in your throat as you slip your arms through the coat, your fingers barely stick out past the cuffs.

“It’s a little big for you, but that’s to be expected.”

“No, it’s fine. I like it.”

“I hope i'm not overstepping any boundaries but...it looks good on you.”

You’re burning up, stomach twisting, “It... feels good on me.”

“Oh…” He mutters, quickly forcing a nervous laugh, “Well, i'm sure anything would look good on anyone as beautiful as you.”

Holy shit .

“Are you...flirting with me?” you whisper, burying your hands in the pockets of his coat and trying to make yourself seem smaller, “Or am I imagining it?”

He freezes, you can see his hands tensing up. You worry for a moment that you had been imagining it and that now you’ve made everything weird.

“ Was I flirting…?” He gives you a gentle smile, “Huh...I guess i was? Unless you didn't want me to, i don't want to presume-”

“No!” you say a little too loudly, shocking him into silence, “keep-uh...you can keep doing it.” His eyebrows jump up at that, but then settle back down into his calm expression, you are picking at your nail polish again, if only to give your nervous hands something to do, “Can i ask for your name? We’ve been sitting together for so long now and i’ve never asked…”

“Nagito” He breathes, and it fits him perfectly. A smile breaks out on your face before you can stop it. You give him your name in return and he repeats it back, like he is testing how it feels on his tongue, “Pretty name.” He says, you can hear that his breathing is shaky, “It suits you.”

Like he is trying to run away before his most recent compliment finally hits you, he walks back around to his side of the desk and starts grabbing his books. He crouches down on the ground and starts shoving them into his stachel, looking up at you from his spot on the floor, “I finish class at seven. Will you be around?”

“Ah, no. Sorry, I don't finish until nine.”

“Oh, your classes run really late.” He stands up and slings the bag over his shoulder.

“Do you want your coat back now?” You say, already moving to take it off. He strides over to you, and pulls it back over your shoulders, looking at you very seriously.

“I’m not letting you walk home in the cold without it.” his hands feel warm and firm on your shoulders, you never want him to pull away, “I can walk you home, you can give it back when you get inside.”

Your heart flutters at his suggestion. Imagining walking with him in the dark, your fingers brushing against his knuckles....you’re burning up again, “I live outside the city so i have to catch the train, but you can walk me to the station if you want? I mean, if you’re happy to wait until nine.”

He smiles, and your heart curls at the edges. You feel all buttery and warm inside.

“I’ll be right here.”

~*~*~

He is still there. You’d been worrying for the past few hours that he would be gone when you came back, that he would have changed his mind. A few people noticed the coat, and that it clearly wasn't yours. Sonia, the intimidatingly beautiful exchange student who usually sits next to you, was tittering politely behind a hand when she noticed it. When you asked what was so funny, she turned serious and told you it was nothing, but you could see a playfulness in her eyes. You wonder if she also noticed how much your leg was bouncing and that you wouldn't stop looking at the clock.

“Hello.” He says with a smile as you round the bookshelf, his already sleepy eyes even softer than usual. He’s playing something on a nintendo switch, it sounds like Animal Crossing, you recognise the 9pm music.

You smile back, “Hey. You good to go?”

“Oh yes!” He says enthusiastically, slotting the switch into a fabric case and zipping it up. He stands up and slings his bag over his shoulder, “Which station do you leave from?”

You start heading out of the library and he falls into step beside you, his arm almost brushing against yours. You shove your hands in the pocket of his coat to keep yourself from doing anything rash, “Central Station. It’s fifteen minutes away.”

“At least it isn’t too far. You won’t have to put up with me for too long.” He punctuates the end of the sentence with a laugh. The in person version of adding ‘lol’ to the end of a text to soften it.

The glass doors whoosh open as you step outside, you look up at him, “why do you keep doing that?” You ask. The city is slick with the aftermath of recent rain, the lights reflecting off the puddles on the sidewalk. It’s a cold, but admittedly beautiful night.

“Doing what?”

“Talking about yourself like that.” You stop at a crosswalk to wait for the lights, “Like you’re trying to convince me to make you leave.”

He laughs again, it’s less convincing this time, “Don’t misunderstand! I’m not trying to make you do anything, I just don’t want you thinking you have to spend any time with me if you don’t want to.”

“If I didn’t want to spend time with you. I wouldn’t.” The light at the crossing turns green, and you start heading further down the street. Nagito is following beside you. You thought it was pretty obvious that you are interested in him, in every sense of the word, but he either seems to have not noticed, or not believed it, “are you enjoying Animal Crossing?”

“I am!” He says, beaming widely, “I just finished catching the last fish today, now I'm breeding flowers.”

“Oh wow, you have all the fish already? You must be really lucky.”

He laughs, playing nervously with a strand of hair that didn't get caught up in his bun, “I guess??”

“I’ve been working on a kitchen, but I still don't have any of the damn ironwood set. I haven't found a fridge either.” You huff and notice that your breath appears white and wispy before you. It’s even colder than you thought it would be, “I just have a bunch of appliances all over the floor for now.”

“I think my housemate might have a fridge.” Nagito says, tapping his lips with a finger as he tries to remember, “No ironwood though. If I get him to mail me a fridge I can pass it onto you.” His mouth pulls into a nervous smile, and you notice him picking at a loose string at the hem of his shirt, “I mean, if you’re happy to give me your friend code.”

“No, uh...that sounds good. I can give you my code when we get to the station if my switch isn't dead yet.” You take a left down a back alley, it isn't as well lit as the main road, but it is a lot quicker to cut through than it is to go around. During the day there are a few small cafes open, with big umbrellas and tables out front. At night it is much less cheery.

Nagito is looking around uncomfortably, the moon is high in the sky and down the alley it is the only light source. His hair shimmers in the moonlight, your heart is pounding again, “Do you come down here every night?” He tucks a hand into the pocket of his jeans and pulls out his phone, flicking on the flashlight.

The light only manages to make the walls of the alleyway seem even taller, “Yeah. I only have a late class on Thursday’s though. It isn't usually this dark.”  

He gives you a concerned look, “It probably isn't safe.”

You shrug, “It’s another ten minutes if I go around. Plus, nothing has ever happened. I'm sure it’s fine.”

He turns away from you, looking straight ahead. His face turns deathly serious and you’re worried you’ve said something wrong, “Yeah, well. Luck runs out eventually.”

You aren't sure what to say. It sounded like he was talking from experience. His footsteps are quiet beside you, and his spine is curled like he is trying to make himself small and unobtrusive. Difficult, considering his height. As you come to the end of the alleyway he switches off his flashlight and tucks it back into his pocket, you notice that his black jeans are tight and you feel something swell in the pit of your stomach. He is very attractive.

“It’s just up this street, yeah?” He asks, you notice that he’s started rubbing his arms, “It’s kinda chilly.”

It suddenly hits you that he must be freezing without the coat he leant to you. You feel like an asshole, “Oh my god. I'm so sorry, you must be so cold!” you start talking the coat off, ready to give it back to him. He stops you.

“If one of us has to be cold, please let it be me.” His hand is on your shoulder again, you’re trying to store how it feels away in your memory. You don't want to forget.

“I don't want you to get sick.”

He laughs and waves your concern away with a hand, “No need to worry about me. It’s mostly just my arms and hands that are cold anyway, I'll be alright.”

You have a thought. There isn't much you can do about his cold arms, but his cold hands? That was possible. If only you work up the courage. As the two of you continue walking down the street, you move yourself close to him, a tiny bit closer, so tiny he probably doesn't even notice. He is still looking on ahead, but you are focussed entirely on the closeness of your hands. Focussed on reaching out just your pinky, slowly, carefully. Your heart is racing and your cheeks are burning. (this is so highschool of you, how old are you 12?) It doesn't matter, you’re going to do it, going to curl just the one finger around his and then maybe-

“Hey, we’re here!”

Your back snaps ramrod straight, and your hand whips back up against your leg so hard it almost hurts. He’s right, you’re at the station. You’d been so intent on holding his damn hand that you didn't realise how close the station was. This is embarrassing.

“Are you okay?” He asks, looking down at you with genuine concern, ‘Your face is all pink, you're not cold are you?”

“No, i’m uh-” He's staring at you, it’s making you nervous, “-I’m fine. Let me just check when the next train is, then you can go home if you want.”

He smiles politely, “Okay. I’ll wait here.”

The announcement board is lit up in the darkness right above the entrance to the station, you have to get a little closer to be able to read the train times. Nagito gives you a little wave when you turn back to look at him, and you sigh. You had been hoping to make it a little clearer how you felt about him, but it looks like you’re still a coward.

“God damn it…” you mutter as you look up at the board. Nagito must have heard you, because he comes bounding over with clear distress in his eyes. His hair is bouncy, it’s adorable.

“Are you okay?” He looks around frantically, “Did you lose something?”

You laugh, trying to ease his concerns, “Nah. We just missed my train, the next one isn't for half an hour. I probably won't be home until after midnight at this rate.”

“Hm. That’s really late.”

“Yeah, i live at the end of the Metro. Two hours.”

He’s playing with the hem of his shirt again, practically shaking with nerves when he finally says, “You could...come back to my place.

You don't have any words. They’re all caught in the back of your throat.

He panics, “Only if you want to! I would understand completely if you don't want to sleep in the same apartment as trash like me!”

Your innocent thoughts about brushing knuckles and shy glances begin morphing into something much less PG.

“Are you sure? I don't want to inconvenience you.”

“Inconvenience? Me?!” His cheeks turn a little pink, “You couldn't possibly inconvenience me .”  

You shrug a shoulder, trying to ignore the incessant buzzing of excitement under your skin, “Lead the way, then.” ~*~*~

His apartment is nice. He dropped his key five times before he was able to get the door open, but when he finally did you were pleasantly surprised. You’ve been in some awful bachelor pads before, but this is nothing like that. There’s a plush brown couch in the center of the room with a colourful throw tossed over it, a modestly sized tv and a collection of mismatched mugs spread out on the low coffee table. A salt lamp in the corner of the room casts a pale orange light across the space, dancing on the shiny leaves of all the pot plants strewn about the room.

“Sorry for the mess…” Nagito says, slipping past you and hanging his bag up on a hook on the wall. He pulls his switch out of the bag and docks it by the tv, “Hajime drinks a lot of coffee.”

“It’s not even messy.” You take notice of just how many bookshelves are lining the walls and smile, “It’s nice in here.”

Nagito is in the middle of picking up all the wayward mugs around the room, but he still manages to turn and flash you a smile, “It’s nice of you to say so. I’m going to tidy up a little, feel free to sit down.”

“Oh, you really don't need to clean up for me. It’s fine.” You say, dropping your backpack on the ground by the door and heading over to the couch. It’s very comfy, but you still find yourself sitting stiffly, nervous about seeming too comfortable, “Is Hajime your housemate?” you ask, eyeing a photo on one of the bookshelves. Nagito is smiling brilliantly and chucking a peace sign up to the camera, there’s another guy beside him giving an uncomfortable thumbs up, but a very genuine smile.

“Yes!” Nagito calls back from the kitchen, you can hear the water running and assume he’s washing the mugs, “He’s at his girlfriend’s house tonight and he won't be back until tomorrow afternoon. You probably won't see him.”

You swallow. Not only are you going to be in the apartment with him all night, you’re also going to be alone . Your leg is bouncing again, you can't help it, “Um, where will i be sleeping?”

Nagito comes out of the kitchen, drying his hands with a tea towel before tossing it into what you assume is a laundry basket, “The couch folds out. We don't have to…uh” he laughs nervously, “We don’t have to share a bed, if that’s what you were worrying about.”

Worrying is not the word you would use.  

“Oh! Do you have anything to sleep in?”

“Ah, i hadn't thought about that.” You wince a little, remembering the last time you had to sleep with your jeans on, “I’ll be okay though, dont worry about it.”

“I can at least see if Chiaki left something behind last time she was here. I don't want you to be uncomfortable.” He starts heading over to one of the two doors in the wall behind the couch, “Oh, I've turned the heating on by the way. If the coat is too warm you can just leave it on my bed.” He points to the other door, “just in there.”

“I might do that, thank you.” You stand up and shuck the coat, folding it over your arm, “It was getting a little toasty.”

He smiles warmly and heads into what you assume is Hajime’s room. Leaving you alone with the notion that he has just invited you into his bedroom. Your heart is racing. It’s literally just a room with a bed in it, you don't know why you are getting so worked up about this. The nailpolish on your fingers is practically all gone with all the nervous picking you've been doing today.

You force yourself to round the couch and head over to the door, trying not to notice the way your knees are wobbling. You suck in a breath, reach for the doorknob and even though the moment feels immense, you are comforted when you realise that his room is very normal.

There's a soft green rug on the floor, and the bed is made in a haphazard way that suggests he didn't want to leave it messy, but couldn't be bothered doing it properly either. His wardrobe is slightly ajar and you can see a row of boots lined up below a collection of sweaters and coats. It’s cosy, it suits him. The sound of your heartbeat is loud in your ears as you step over to the bed and drop the folded coat on the end of it. It smells like him in here, like camomile and sunday evenings. Your hands are sweating.

You notice a collection of polaroid photos strung up above his desk. At this point you’re probably being a little too nosy, but your feet are already walking over to the desk before you can stop yourself. There’s a textbook on the desk and a notepad filled with quotes and page numbers, he’s drawn a couple of flowers in the margins, you smile. A post-it shaped like a four leaf clover catches your eye, the handwriting is different from Nagito’s.

Don’t forget to drink water, dumbass.

A laugh bubbles up out of your chest, you assume that was a reminder from Hajime. There are plenty more pictures of him and Nagito amongst the polaroids, a number of them taken at some sort of beach getaway. Nagito has his eyes closed in a wide smile, his cheeks turning red from the sun as he wraps one arm around the shoulders of a short girl engrossed in her PSP. You assume that she is Hajime’s girlfriend, based on a different photo of the two of them kissing while Nagito throws up a peace sign in the foreground. They seem like very good friends, you’re happy for him.

“Are you done sightseeing?”

You whirl around to see Nagito standing in the open doorway with a bundle of cloth in his hands. His tone is teasing, but his lips are curled up in a smile. You feel yourself blushing, “ah, sorry. I shouldn't have-”

He laughs pleasantly, stepping into the room proper, “No, it's fine! I don't mind at all, sorry my room isn't very exciting.”

“It’s cozy.” You say, wringing your hands together, “I like it...it suits you.”

Nagito turns red now, all the way up to his ears and down to his collarbones. He clears his throat, “I found some sleep shorts and a shirt that I don't think Chiaki will mind you borrowing. I'll just have to wash them tomorrow.”

He passes the bundle of clothing over to you. When you unfold the shirt you snicker at the phrase ‘gamers don't die. We respawn’ that is printed in bold across the front of it, “Chiaki is a gamer, I take it?”

Nagito chuckles pleasantly, “The best one I know. Smash nights with her are something to behold.”

“Well…” you start, trying your best to seem like you aren't thinking about kissing him, “Thanks for the clothes...should I change in the bathroom, or?”

He dismisses you with a wave of his hand, eyes closing in a wide smile, “No, it's okay. You can get changed in here, I'll sit on the couch. Don't worry about it.”

Your heart is pounding. He's so handsome and so nice, your mind is racing with the thought that if you don't finally tell him how you feel now, you probably never will. Your fingers dig tight into the shirt you're holding as you try to find a way to ground yourself. You take a deep breath, “Nagito…?”

“Hm?”

Your stomach is churning, your hands feel clammy. You think and think but you just can't find the right words, to tell him how you feel, to tell him what you want . In the end, you decide that maybe words aren't the best course of action, and pull your shirt up over your head.

The room goes so silent that the sound of your blouse hitting the carpet sounds like a thunderclap. Your chest is heaving with the gravity of what you've just done. Why the fuck did you do that??? This was a terrible, awful, bad idea. You almost go scrambling to shove Chiaki’s shirt on and pretend this never happened.

But Nagito’s face stops you in your tracks. He’s staring at you, shaking visibly. His big green eyes keep flitting between your face and your torso. He heaves a wavering breath and whispers, “Tell me not to kiss you. Stop me, please .”

You feel elated, “I don't want to stop you.”

He swallows, nails biting into the palms of his hands, “I cant...I shouldn't...you’re too good for-”

You take a step towards him and cup his cheek in your palm. Whatever words he was going to say die in his throat.

“How long have you wanted me, Nagito?” You trace your thumb over his lower lip, his erratic breathing is so loud you can hear it, “I’ve wanted you for months .”

He nods loosely, squeezing his eyes shut, “Me too. Me too.”

his skin is soft under your palm, your move your hand up to tuck a strand of hair behind his ear. His eyes open at your touch and he is beautiful . You smile, gently running your fingers in his soft hair before whispering, “Then what are you waiting for?”

He sucks in a breath, and his hand shakes as he brings it up to your cheek. The skin of his palm is dry and warm, you can’t help leaning into it. His second hand slowly slips around to the small of your back, you can feel him trembling.

“God you’re…” you can feel his breath on your face, he is so close to you now, “you’re so beautiful…”

You smile, “so are you.”

He gasps, eyes widening as he looks down at you. Then, his thumb gently runs along the length of your cheekbone, and he leans in to press his lips to yours.

He is perfect

His lips are soft and cool, his palm on your back presses you firmly up against him as you slowly curl your arms around the back of his neck. You whine gently into his mouth, kissing him only more incessantly, desperately. Months of yearning and desire is escaping in this one kiss and one of your hands tangles it’s fingers in the hair on the back of his head. It’s as soft as you dreamed it would be. He is how you dreamed he would be.

Nagito pulls away from you, green eyes blown wide and breath heaving. The hand on your lower back is shaking, “I’ve wanted to do that for so long…” his throat bobs, “I can’t...I can’t believe you let me kiss you.”

“Why not?” You breathe, letting one of your hands slip down his torso, toying with the hem of his shirt.

His breathing grows shaky, “b-because I don’t deserve you. Someone like you desiring someone like me it’s just- hah! ”

Your fingers have crept up under his shirt, tracing light circles on his hip bone. You hadn’t expected it to stun him into silence like this, you lean in a press a soft kiss to his neck, “is this okay?”

“H-huh?”

You laugh gently against his skin, “are you okay with me touching you like this?”

“Y-yes! I just don’t understand why? ”

“Because I have feelings for you, Nagito” you feel your cheeks burning, “I’ve uh- been trying to gather the confidence to tell you that all night. I sort of assumed it was pretty obvious with the kissing and-“

You're cut off when he tugs you against him, wrapping both arms around your waist and burying his head in the crook of your neck. you gasp at the feeling of his thin arms tight around you, and he quickly pulls back at the sound.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.”

“No! Um, I liked it! You just surprised me.”

He laughs, a giggle that sounds like disbelief, “I surprised you? You took your shirt off…”

You’re burning up. Suddenly remembering your state of undress and crossing your arms over your chest, “Ah. Yes. That was stupid of me. I just...panicked?”

His brow furrows, “panicked?”

“Yeah I- I dunno, I was worried that if I didn’t make a move now I’d never have a chance to do…” you swallow, looking up at him nervously, “do whatever it is we’re going to do.”

You hear him take a shaky breath, his eyes open wide, “You want to...keep going?”

“...Yes” you whisper

“With...me?”

“Yes.” You close your eyes and take a deep breath, “I want to go as far as you will let me.”

He’s laughing again, hand cupping over his mouth as he stares at you in shock, “O-Okay...if you’re sure you want to. Then I-“ his voice drops an octave, you aren’t sure if it was intentional, but you feel it in your stomach, “I want to as well.”

“Do you want to sit on the bed?” You ask, trying to contain your nerves.

“Ah, yes. Of course!” He’s shaking when he steps around you and sinks down onto his bed. You can see his knees bouncing a little, he’s as overwhelmed as you are, “Are you going to sit down too- ah~”

You do sit down. On his lap. Gently straddling him and looping your arms around the back of his head, “Is this okay?”

He shifts underneath you a little, and his hands shakily come to rest on the dip of your waist, “I’m probably not very comfortable.”

You laugh and press a kiss to his temple, “You’re plenty comfortable. Best seat in the house.”

His eyes meet yours. Dilated. Blinking slowly as he examines the contours of your face. You can feel his breath on your lips, you can’t believe that you’re this close to him. You’re the luckiest person in the world. When your lips press together again, his fingers dig tighter into your waist and your toes curl. He gasps against your mouth when you swipe at the seam of his lips with your tongue, moaning deep in the back of his throat as his tongue tangles with yours. There’s a warmth steadily growing between your thighs, your legs tighten around Nagito’s and your fingers dig into his soft white hair, pulling him closer to you. Then you shift in his lap, and feel a hardness growing in his jeans. Nagito gasps and pulls his lips from yours.

“I--I’m sorry...I just…”

“Nagito.” You whisper, letting one of your hands trail down his chest, “I told you. I want to go as far as you will let me.” Your hand comes in contact with his cock, rubbing him encouragingly through his jeans, “Is this still okay?”

He whimpers, hips stuttering up into your hand, “Ah! Are you sure you want to?”

“Very.” You shuffle backwards, slipping down off the bed and onto your knees between his legs. Your hands are resting on his waistband, just waiting for his permission, “Can i take your pants off?”

Nagito nods nervously, but lifts up his hips to help you tug his jeans down over his thighs. You get them down to his knees before you stop, toying with the hemline of his boxers, “Can these come off too?”

“Ah...If you want?” His voice is shaky, but he doesn't seem reluctant when you grab the elastic waistband and start tugging them down. You are trying to keep your cool, to seem like you have done this many times more than you actually have, but when his erect cock pops out and slaps backwards onto his stomach. You can feel your eyes grow wider, and have to physically bite down on your lip to hold in a gasp. Nagito is looking down at you nervously as you pull his jeans and boxers over his feet and drop them onto the floor. He sits up on his elbows and you can see his throat bob, “Are you sure you still want this? I...ah...I know i'm not much to look at.”

“I’ll have to respectfully disagree…” you whisper, eyes trailing up the length of his pale legs, lingering on the jut of his hips where they disappear up under his shirt. His breathing is heavy, cheeks turned pink and hair in disarray from your tangling fingers, “you’re gorgeous.”

“Aha...You are too kind…” Nagito breathes, avoiding your eyes.

You swallow, hands coming up to rub encouraging circles on his bare thighs, “I want to use my mouth.” You cock your head to the side, “would that be alright?”

Nagito makes a shocked noise in the back of his throat. Eyes wide in disbelief, even as his cock twitches at your words, “I’m not sure it’s a good idea...I...I would not be worthy of such a thing…”

“Is that a no because you think i don't want to?” you ask gently, pressing a kiss to one of his bony knees, “or is it a no because you don't want me to? Those are two very different things.”

He looks at you, almost incredulous, “Well of course I want you to! But I don't want you to ruin your- ack!~”

You grip tight on his jutting hip bones and sink your mouth down on his cock, as far as you can take it. Nagito moans loud , his legs tensing under your arms as you start lathing the underside of his head with your tongue and slowly pulling your lips up and down the length of him. He feels hot and smooth in your mouth and a gasp escapes you when his hips stutter in deeper, the head of his cock kissing the back of your throat.

“I...I’m sorry…” he whimpers, breathless and panicked, “Did i choke you? I’m a pathetic excuse for a human being…”

He is apparently too lost in his own head, to notice how thoroughly you are enjoying yourself. Moaning wontanly as you bob your head up and down, thighs rubbing together with every little noise you hear escaping his throat. He makes such pretty sounds, you want desperately to hear more of them.

“You...Your mouth...it’s so warm” Nagtio hisses through clenched teeth. You can feel the muscles working in his thighs as he tries to hold back the urge to chase the heat of your mouth. His legs are quivering , “I cant believe that you would let me-- ahhhh! ” his fingers curl tight into the sheets, chest heaving as you slowly insert a finger inside of him.

“Was that okay?” you ask, stilling your finger, worried that you’ve hurt him, “Do you need me to stop?”

Nagito whines and shakes his head, hips bucking forward into your hand like he’s trying to force your finger deeper, “M--more... please .”

You laugh a little, gently lapping at the head of his cock while pushing your finger deeper. Nagito wriggles and moans when you get it the whole way in, slowly pumping it in and out. You moan against his cock when you feel him tighten around you, “Can you take another?”

“Yes... yes… ” he pants, breath coming hot and heavy as he quivers beneath you, “I want it...want you ”

It’s getting harder to focus. Hearing his noises, feeling him moving and keening under your touch. You’re soaking wet, craving any sort of friction, but still determined to give Nagito the night of his life. You rub your thighs together, and slip a second finger into him.

The noise he makes is indescribable. The whole neighborhood probably heard it, and all you can think about is how lucky they all are, because it is the most beautiful noise you’ve ever heard.

“I could listen to you forever…” you breathe, pistoning your fingers in and out of him while pumping his cock with your other hand, “Do you want another finger?”

He whines aloud at the thought of it, but still shakes his head, “I don’t... ahh! I don't want to cum…” he hisses a breath in through his teeth, “until you do.”

You can feel your cheeks burning. Embarrassed as his insinuation like you don't currently have your fingers three knuckles deep in his ass, “What do you want to do then…?”

“I...I want to taste you” Nagito purrs, leaning up on his elbows, peering down at you, “Would you indulge me?”

“Oh...sure…” you whisper, slipping your fingers out of him and shimmying out of your pants. Nagito audibly gasps as the sight of your bare legs, and you feel yourself getting a little bit egotistic. No matter what concerns you may have with your body, it’s hard to remember them when he looks at you like that . Just as you are climbing onto the bed, you let out a gasp when Nagito grabs your thighs and tugs you up onto his chest, “Nagito...what-”

“Sit on my face, please. ”

You swallow. Cheeks heating up at the despartation in his voice, “Okay…” you breathe, shuffling up until your knees are resting firmly on the mattress above his shoulders. Your thighs are shaking, “Sorry. I’m kind of embarrassed…”

Nagito chuckles beneath you, peering up at your face through his pale eyelashes, “there’s no need to be embarrassed.” he whispers, hands curling around your thighs, “It’s just me. I want to pleasure you like you did for me. Is that okay?”

Your sex throbs at his words, and you have to sink your teeth into your lip to hold in a moan. He’s smiling at you, you can feel his cool breath on your bare cunt and as you slowly lower yourself to meet his mouth, you feel his fingers tighten against your flesh. He moans unabashedly as he drags his tongue up the length of you, keening and whimpering like he is the one being pleasured. His lips wrap around your swollen clit and your hips buck further into his face, you bite down on your hand to stop yourself from screaming.

“No...please…” nagito whispers from beneath you, “I want to hear you, let me hear how good I am making you feel.”

His tongue gets back to work, slowly dipping in and out of your dripping entrance as his hands curl around your thighs.

“Ooh— ooohhh! ” You croon, grinding your hips sinfully against the lower half of his face, “You’re so good...your tongue feels so-- ahhh! S--So good, Nagito…”

Nagito moans . You can feel the vibrations through his tongue as it thrusts in and out of you. He sucks and licks with the desperation of a man who wants to taste every inch of you, every millimeter . He’s shaking under you, frantic and needy with nothing more than a desire for you. It’s almost overwhelming, you’ve never had someone want you like this before and it makes a powerful heat stroke at your core.

“F-Fuck…” You manage to hiss, centleching your eyes shut and digging a hand into the halo of his hair, “Nagito...I...I want you... please! ”

He slows his ministrations for just a moment. Big green eyes blinking up at you from between your thighs, “Are you sure? I’m more than happy to keep doing this.” he laughs a little, “I’m enjoying myself quite a bit.”

You caution a glance behind yourself to where his cock is still standing at full attention, twitching and dripping . He is enjoying himself, that is very much clear.

“I’m sure.” you give him a smile and brush some of his hair from his face, “I’ll take you up on the offer next time though.”

Nagito’s breath hitches, and you feel his fingers dig tight into your thighs, “...next time?”

“Yeah. Next time.” You swallow, “If you want a next time, that is.”

You can't really see his mouth, but you can still tell that he is grinning, “I...I do want a next time.”

“Ah, good. It would have been really awkward if you said no…” you clear your throat, “Condom?”

“Top drawer.” He replies, nodding in the direction of his bedside table before returning his mouth to your clit. You reach behind yourself and slap his thigh.

“Stop that! I’m not going to be able to rip a condom open if I'm shaking…”

He chuckles, “but you taste so good…”

Biting your lower lip to hold in a moan, you manage to wriggle a hand into Nagito’s drawer and locate a box of condoms. Still shrinkwrapped, “ah, shit. I hate opening this stuff.”

Nagito does not offer to help you. Still caressing your sex with his tongue. He hits your clit hard for a moment and your hips jump forward.

“Fuck...Nagito!” You moan and squeeze your eyes shut, “I need to get this stupid box open.” You manage to get a corner of the shrinkwrap between your teeth and tear it open. Nagito now has his tongue back inside of you, “hnng…” you force out, pulling a condom out and just letting the box fall to the floor, “stop distracting me!”

You can feel him laugh against you, gently lapping his tongue at your insides as you finally manage to tear the condom open, “Oh! These are ribbed for my pleasure! How very polite of you.” you tease, shuffling down from his face and between his legs.

Nagito turns red, the lower of his face glistening with your slick. He brings up an arm and cleans himself off with the back of his hand, “Ah...I just...I figured if I was going to buy some…”

Your lips quirk up in a smile as you roll the condom down over his twitching cock. He hisses at the feeling of your palm caressing him, “What are you so worried about? I mean it, it was a nice gesture.”

Nagito gasps when you swing a leg over his bony hips, hovering just over his cock, so close that you can just feel the head brushing your folds. Nagito has his hands buried in the sheets and you can see him quivering beneath you, “Everything okay? Do you need to stop?”

He shakes his head, adam’s apple bobbing as he traces your form with his eyes, “I just...I can’t believe you're about to do this.” he chokes on a laugh, covering his mouth with a hand, “I’m going to ruin you…”

A smile crawls up your cheek as you slowly start lowering yourself down. Nagito makes a shocked noise at the back of his throat when the head pops inside of you, “and I, you.”

You watch in awe as his chest rises and falls, as his eyes squeeze shut. His brow creases, his cheeks are painted in a gorgeous red. He looks like a masterpiece, and there's a little voice in your head, praising yourself for being the one who did this to him. Then, he is fully inside of you, stretching you out and pulsing against your tight heat.

Nagito’s hips buck just a little, a hiss escaping his mouth, “Ah... ahhh .” he swallows thickly as his eyes open, staring up at you in absolute adoration, “I’m inside you...I’m really inside you…”

“Sure are.” You reply, lifting yourself up just a little before dropping back down again. A moan rips from his mouth, and a needy whine escapes yours, “You feel...really good…”

He nods his head, staring up at the ceiling like he is trying to ground himself, “You’re so warm...you’re taking me so perfectly…”

You shiver at the compliment. Relishing in the feeling of Nagito’s desperate little thrusts, it feels like he is trying to hold himself back, but he just can’t . Like he needs you, like he craves you. You roll your hips, moaning long and hard at the sensation of him moving inside of you. Nagito whimpers, hips shaking as he tries his hardest to stay still.

“What are you waiting for?” You ask, “I’m all yours, Nagito. Take me.”

His hips snap up. Just the once, his body responding to your words before his head even has a chance to catch up, “You...you’re mine… ” he breathes, disbelieving, but utterly hungry. His hands slowly curl around your hips, pads of his fingers digging into your flesh as he starts moving in earnest. The sound that cuts loose from your throat is so loud that it surprises even you, the feeling of him bottoming out inside of you is insane. It makes your toes curl, your stomach tense, your heart race.

“You liked that?” He whispers, voice gravelly and breathless as he continues pounding up into you, like he doesn't want to be outside of you for more than a second, “You feel so good...so perfect...i couldn't resist you even if i wanted to--” he throws his head back and groans, “--you take my cock like it was meant for you and you alone…”

It isn't clear if he is doing it on purpose, or if he is just saying exactly what he is thinking. Either way, Nagito knows exactly what to say to push your buttons. The insinuation that you were made for his cock, and that it was made for you has you clenching hard around him. Sweaty and clammy, grinding your hips harder and harder. Desperate for more of him. More of Nagito. All of Nagito.

“M’close…” You force out, breath growing shaky and thighs quivering on either side of his hips.

Nagito laughs, it's loud and wild. It echoes around the room, “You’re going to cum for me?”

“Just for you. All for you.”

He moans, letting one hand drop down from your hip to circle your clit instead. You howl and Nagito hisses through his teeth, you’re bouncing on his cock now. Keening and whining, the warmth in your stomach is growing unbearable, and watching Nagito’s mouth drop open in a perfect moan doesn't help. It’s right then, that he shoves himself up inside of you hard , hitting just the right place for you to finally come undone. There's white behind your eyes as all the tension within you snaps, hips gyrating furiously as you ride out your orgasm. Nagito lets out a cry and pounds up into you with a surprising ferocity, cock twitching between your walls as he cums. His face in that moment is the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen.

It takes a minute for you to come back down from your high. Falling forward and resting your head in the join between Nagito’s neck and shoulder, breathing deeply as the shivers from your orgasm slowly subside. Nagito starts rubbing gently circles on your back, his hands are shaky, but you aren't sure if he is just lethargic or if he is also nervous. You lift yourself up with your arms and press a kiss to his cheek, “I’m getting off you now, ready?”

He nods sleepily, and you lift your leg up and over him, collapsing bodily onto the bed beside him. Everything is still fizzing and popping, from your heart out to your fingertips. If it feels like the sun has awoken inside your chest. You just want to lie here forever.

“Just...ah...give me a minute, and then I'll move out to the couch.” Nagito says, panting quietly, “You can take the bed.”

You roll over to face him, “Nagito...you really think i'm going to kick you out of your own bed?”

“Oh, i don't know...I just...didn't want to presume.”

With an affectionate sigh, you shuffle a little closer to him, resting your head on his chest and tucking your arm in around his waist, “No presumption necessary. I want to sleep with you.”

Nagito laughs, “You already did.”

“Hey! You know what I meant.” you lean up a little and press a kiss to his shoulder before snuggling deeper into his chest, “I want to actually sleep with you.”

“I still can’t believe you're here with me…” he sighs happily, curling an arm around your shoulders, “In my bed, no less.”

“That’s what you get for being so cute all the time. I’ve been staring at you for like, the past two months.”

“Ah...for a long time i assumed that there was always something stuck in my teeth. That uh, happens to me a lot.”

You press your ear to his chest, closing your eyes and listening to the sound of his heart, “Nah. Nothing stuck in your teeth. I just thought you were the most beautiful man I had ever seen.”

You hear him choke at that, his hand tightening around your shoulders, “You are...the most wonderful person I've ever had the pleasure of meeting.” He plants a kiss to the top of your head, “I wouldn't be surprised if this was all a dream, that i’ll wake up tomorrow and you’ll be gone.”

“I’m not going anywhere.” You whisper, and the gentle thump of his heart slowly soothes you into sleep.

Hey guys. Note from Bree here. I hope that this was okay, I’ve been feeling really down on my writing recently and I’m really not sure why, but i just dont think anything im posting has been any good. So i just hope that you still enjoyed this even though its a mess. Im so worried that im losing nagito’s voice. im like, scared about it actually, cause this is the only thing im good at, you know? and what’s even the point of me if i cant do this one thing anymore...... ugh, sorry for being such a complain jane. i just, idk. the komaeda who lives in my head is calling me trash 24/7 hahahahahahahhaa

#komaeda x reader #nagito komaeda #komaeda nagito #nagito x reader #danganronpa x reader #danganronpa

[scxrlettwxtches]

of secret rendezvous and fishnet tights | lee felix

genre: fluff, very very slight angst (?), idol au

warnings: heavy makeout session uwu

prompt: secret relationship -- aka lee felix enjoying your group’s concept change a little too much and having an existential crisis about it

word count: ~2k+

a/n: i hope this is alright, love! it’s a little more *ahem* steamy than what i normally write, so i apologize in advance if this isn’t what you were looking for!! >.< i also wanted to thank everyone for their super sweet words about my last seungmin fic. it really made me feel better about coming out of hiatus. as always, i love you all, and please feel free to leave comments and constructive criticism for me! <3 mwah (repost again cause the tags literally hate me)

You weren’t sure when your life became hushed whispers, fleeting kisses and empty closets, but once you agreed to date Lee Felix, it was all you knew.

“L-lix,” you let out a gasp as your boyfriend wasted no time in wrapping his arms around your waist and pressing his lips against your cheek, trailing them down to your jaw, “Lix, darling, the door is still open--”

“Fuck the door,” he growled under his breath, sending shivers down your spine as you noticed him reach back and close the door with his foot, “I’ve missed you so much.”

You melted at those words, and your arms looped around his neck, pulling him closer as you stumbled until your back hit the wall of the closet, “It’s only been two weeks since we’ve met…”

“Two weeks too long,” Felix’s voice turned to a petulant whine as he cupped your cheeks, pressing his lips to yours almost hungrily. He knew this was wrong, he knew that Chan would probably scold him to the moon and back when they made it to the dorms, but he couldn’t wait.

You let out the softest of whines against his lips, overwhelmed and excited by Felix’s unusual eagerness. He wasn’t usually like this, rather opting for soft kisses and gentle touches. This, this felt like almost a carnal desire, and you briefly wondered what had happened to make Felix act this way.

“Baby, baby,” you cooed breathlessly, carding your fingers through his hair before you finally manage to pull away from his barrage of kisses, cupping his cheek to make him look at you, “Are you alright?”

Felix’s pout almost made you wanted to kiss him again. He looked quite like a kicked puppy, leaning into your touch as his grip tightened around  your waist, “Just missed you. Is that so shocking to hear?” he mumbled, averting his eyes as he tried to capture your lips once more, only for you to press to gentle fingers to his lips.

“Hey, Lix, talk to me, hm?” You smiled that soft, heartwarming smile that made Felix downright giddy. You only ever smiled at him like that. He’s never seen you smile like that to anyone else, your fellow group members, the camera, your fans. It was his smile.

The boy could never refuse you when you gave him that look, and he let out a sigh, allowing his head to droop and rest on your chest. He didn’t want to admit it, he didn’t want to, it was so embarrassing--

“You didn’t tell me your group was doing a concept change,” Felix finally mumbled out, his fingers playing with the leather straps that looped around your body as part of your performance outfit.

You blinked in utter surprise, eyes widening as you asked with your amusement barely hidden, “So, you shoved me into a broom closet because you got turned on by me wearing leather straps?”

“Don’t say it like that!” He frowned, looking up at you from where his chin was resting on your chest, a clear pout on his face, “You have no idea how hard it was to watch your comeback stage yesterday and keep a straight face around the other boys and the stylists.”

You could no longer hide your flustered giggles at this point, making Felix turn an even more adorable shade of pink as he huffed out, “It’s true! And it’s not just the straps,” his hands trailed from your waist down to the outside of your thigh with a ghost-like touch, “I-it’s the fishnets, too…”

“What? Is it too much?” you teased, brushing the strands of hair away from his face as you cooed internally, watching him shake his head, burying his face in the crook of your neck.

“Not too much, not at all. You just look so good,” he confessed, hiding his face as you felt him grow even more embarrassed, “I didn’t think you could look any more beautiful than you normally do, but I was so wrong.”

Your heart leapt out of your chest at those words, and you felt such a compelling urge to show your love, to touch him, to do anything that could convey just how much you loved Lee Felix. In the end, you settled with guiding his head up so you could press your lips delicately against his, an action that Felix was more than happy to comply with.

“I hate hiding,” he muttered against your lips as he grew more eager, standing up to his full height and effectively towering over you as he pressed you carefully against the wall, “I hate seeing how perfect you are on stage and not being able to tell everyone that you’re mine, that I’m so proud of you, that you’re my amazing girlfriend--”

“One day,” you replied softly, a phrase that you’ve repeatedly uttered whenever Felix got in these moods, “One day, when it won’t impact your group and mine.”

Felix let out a low growl at your words, trailing his kisses down to your neck as he played with the straps of your outfit, “I’m tired of waiting. Is what we’re doing so wrong that we have to hide like thieves?”

You sighed, pulling away slightly so you could look into his eyes as you poke, "It's not wrong," you said with a gentle smile, "One day. We'll go on dates, watch movies, go shopping without having to worry."

His hands cupped your cheek, bringing you impossibly closer as he kissed the tip of your nose, "I guess you have a point," he grumbled, although his disgruntled expression slowly began to fade into a look of love and restrained affectionI as if making up for all the times he had to stand beside you on stage, forcing himself to feign indifference even when his hands were itching to hold you, to touch you.

The poor boy's displeasure was glaringly obvious, especially for you, and you couldn't help but giggle, "Enough about sad things," you said, tugging at his jacket to pull him flush against you, "Are you free tonight? I don't have a schedule after this performance."

Felix's expression was never one to hide anything, and you watched as his face visibly brightened at your words, "I never thought I'd ever hear those words from you," he said excitedly. You were always so, so busy with everything, from your group activities to your acting career. Of course he was proud of you, he was more than proud of you for everything you were accomplishing. It was everything you've ever wanted, after all; he'd known that ever since you two had met as JYP trainees.

Still, sometimes, just sometimes, the little green monster that lived in the crevices of his heart wished that you would spend more time with him.

You smiled guiltily at his words, as if you already knew the thoughts he was hiding, "I know I haven't been the best girlfriend recently," you admitted, stroking his cheek, "I know I've been cancelling dates and being a little distant. I've worried you, haven't I?"

Felix held you tightly, shaking his head. It was almost heartbreaking to see how genuinely sincere he was when he looked at you, "I'm your boyfriend," he chuckled, pecking your lips, "It's my job to worry."

"Either way, I shouldn't make you worry unnecessarily," you said and your boyfriend only laughed quietly as he buried his face in your neck, both of you knowing that he would never lose his constant concern over your wellbeing. It wasn't like you were any different when it came to him, if you were being honest.

"You’re distracting me," you complained, realizing that Felix's gentle, goading lips on the soft skin of your neck were clouding your thoughts and making your brain fuzzy.

“Dunno what you’re talking about,” he replied almost smugly, nipping your skin and feeling your body react immediately, tensing against him. Gosh, you never made it easy for him to keep his hands to himself!

You let out a shaky sigh as you felt him pressing you further against the wall, your hands automatically running up and down his toned back, "You know, I'm trying to find a way to spend more time with you, and you're ironically not helping."

"I don't wanna plan. I just wanna spend time with you now," Felix was almost on cloud nine at this point, your familiar perfume wafting into his nose as he continued to attack at your neck, still remembering to be careful not to leave marks (although he'd very much want to).

You caved, just as you always did, tilting your head to the side to give him better access while your hands slipped under his shirt, "Alright. You win. How much time do we have? Aren’t you performing soon?"

"Jisung's standing outside. He’ll knock when I need to go,” he spoke against your skin.

“Wow, does he owe you a favor?” You couldn’t help but giggle at the thought of shy, awkward little Jisung standing outside in the moment, playing with his hands as he tried to act natural.

“Just one or two,” Felix replied, pulling at your waist and squeezing the supple flesh gently.

You smiled, humming softly as you let him play as he wished, “It’s a little bit unfair to make him stand guard in front of a closet, don’t you think?”

Felix didn’t respond to your question with words. Rather, he suddenly lunged forward, effectively taking your breath away as he captured your lips with his, the ferocity of his movement causing your heart to pound.

“Enough about Jisung,” he growled under his breath as he pulled away just a hair, your lips now wet and kiss-swollen. This Felix didn’t come out very often, triggered by a mixture of unresolved sexual wanting and jealousy. And boy, did you love every moment he acted like this.

Your fingers found their permanent place in his hair as he kissed you again, drowning you in pleasure and relief. You had always thought that there was no greater feeling than being on stage, but this, this sensation of being swept away with love was incomparable. Felix couldn’t seem to get enough of you, kissing and nipping at your lips as his hands played with the leather straps around the upper half of your body, pulling and snapping them back against your torso and making you whimper.

Oh, this was a big problem. Neither of you will be able to stop very soon. What time was it again? Who was performing at the moment? You couldn’t even remember your own name as Felix explored your mouth with his eager tongue, the kiss dirty and perfect. A hand trailed down your soft thigh, lifting your leg up against his waist and beginning to play with the patterns of your leggings when-

The sound of frantic knuckles wrapping against the closet door startled both of you, and you would’ve almost unceremoniously fell on your butt if Felix did not grab your waist in the nick of time. The closet was dim, with light peeking in from the crevices of the door, but you were sure you looked a mess, and you thanked the gods that you had already performed for the day.

“Times’ up,” you sighed, trying not to sound disappointed as Felix held you close, burying his face in your soft hair.

“Don’t wanna go,” he said in frustration, obviously all worked up just like you were. Unfortunately, Jisung knocked on the door again, much more anxiously than the last.

You reached up, petting his head, “I know, baby. I know, but you should at least save your friend from having to explain why you’re in a broom closet with another idol, don’t you think?” you suggested.

Felix sighed, lifting his head to bend down and kiss your lips, “I guess you’re right,” he mumbled lowly against your soft lips. You expected him to take his leave right then and there, but to your surprise, his lips trailed to your ear, kissing your lobe as he growled.

“I’m going to rip those fishnets off tonight, angel.”

Gosh, you couldn’t wait.

.

a/n: f in the chat for jisung lol

#inkidz #districtninewriters #stayhavennet #stray kids imagines #stray kids scenarios #stray kids reactions #stray kids drabbles #skz imagines #skz scenarios #skz oneshots #my fics

[mell-bell]

Running from the Past - Part I

Luke Patterson x Reader

Words: 1982

Series Summary: You and Luke became close friends months before he played the Orpheum with Sunset Curve....will he meet you again?

Chapter: 1/?

Part I / Part II  / Part III

TW: Mentions of abuse

Author’s notes: Ngl Julie and the Phantoms is the cutest show ever and I just want all the boys to be happy okay - next part will be post-hotdogs aka time jump

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You had met your fair share of bands. Rock stars. Up-and-coming singers. Women who claimed they would make it big. Boys who wanted to be the next big boy band.

You helped your uncle manage the bands that played in his night club. And tonight, the club had booked a new up-and-coming band that had been making the rounds around town. But the lead singer was nowhere to be found. Your uncle sent you to hunt him down, which was why you were running around backstage breaking through door after door trying to find some wanna-be rock star teenager.

“Luke!” You yelled as you slammed yet another door open. A woman in the far back of the room glared at you as she wiped a makeup smear off a young lady’s face.

You mumbled your apologies, slowly pulling the door shut behind you, before taking off down the hall once again. As you rounded the corner, you ran headfirst into someone, both of you shrieking as you slammed to the ground in a jumble of limbs.

“Woah!” The shaggy hair boy in front of you exclaimed as he pulled away from you, stumbling ungracefully to his feet.

He offered you his hand, but you ignored him as you stood slowly.

You squinted your eyes as you looked him up and down. A smirk formed on his face as he watched you look him over. Just as he opened his mouth, probably to say something smart, you shoved a finger in his face and the smirk slipped off his face.

“Luke?”

The boy’s eyes widened and he nodded.

Without wasting another second, you grabbed him by the arm and began dragging him down the hall. The boy stumbled over his feet as you pulled him along behind you.

“Where are we going? Damn your grip is hella tight. Could you maybe let up?” He stopped as you threw him another glare, “....no? Okay.”

He managed to remain silent as you continued down the hall until you both passed by a grinning Alex, who had just stepped out of your uncle’s office. Luke reached out to him for help, but the blonde boy just held up his hands as you passed.

“Not cool, Alex!” Luke yelled. Alex’s laughter echoing behind you.

You finally made it through the door of your uncle’s office and shoved Luke right in front of your uncle’s desk.

“Oh, you found him! You can go help the stagehands set up now!”

You sighed, your head and feet throbbing from searching for rock star for the past two hours. Turning on your heel, you started out the door but skidded to a halt when Luke stepped right in front of you.  

“Wait, can I get your name?” He said, offering you a lopsided smile.

“Y/N.”

“Y/N.” He said slowly, “That’s pretty- I...wait!” He stammered as you walked right around him and out the door.  

He stuck his head out the door of your uncle’s office, “I’ll see you around!”

“No, you won’t!” You yelled back.

“Yes, I will!”

You smiled as you rounded the corner. Maybe one day you would see him again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two months passed and you arrived at your uncle’s club earlier than normal. It was too early to set up the stage, so you wandered around aimlessly backstage. As you rounded the corner, you tripped over something, slamming hard to the ground.

“Crap sorry!” The man scrambled to his feet and helped you up, “Y/N?”

Your eyes widened as you met Luke’s green eyes, “Larry?”

He rolled his eyes and held out his hand, “Luke.”

“Nah, I like Larry better.” You shook his hand quickly before taking a step back and running a hand through your hair nervously, “You playing here again?”

The boy nodded, a grin lighting up his whole face. He looked at you as if waiting for you to say something.

You stumbled over your words, “Um - well I should....” You pointed behind you and started to slowly back away.

“Wait! Keep me company until the rest of my band gets here?” He begged, pouting his lip out.

A smile pulled at the corner of your mouth, and with the roll of your eyes you motioned for him to sit back on the ground. He did. You plopped down next to him, settling yourself up against the wall.

“So you work here?”

You shook your head, “I help my uncle, I don’t really like staying at home, so he allows me to help out around here.”

Luke’s eyes grew darker as he nodded knowingly.  

You both continued to talk and before long you were laughing as he stood in front of you, guitar in hand, trying to write a song that rhymed with your name.

“It’s not going to work.” You chuckled.

“It will. It will. Hold on I’ll get it.” He strummed the guitar again, his mouth wide open, but no words came out, “Okay, maybe not.”

“Y/N!” A voice echoed down the hall, “Your uncle needs you.”

Sighing, you stood up, brushing off your jeans. You hesitated for a second, turning to face Luke, “I’ll see you around?”

Luke smiled as you walked away and just before you rounded the corner he called out, “Hey if you ever need a place to stay that’s not here, we have a pretty comfortable couch in our studio.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A month passed and you saw Luke more than you thought you would.

You were friendly, but you tried to keep your distance. There was a reason you didn’t have many friends. And you didn’t want to drag Luke into your family drama.

When you heard footsteps around the corner, you curled in on yourself hoping whoever it was would ignore you. Your pencil continued to scratch lightly over the paper as you continued to sketch.

When the footsteps sounded closer, your shoulders stiffened as you saw Luke step up beside you.

You shot to your feet and darted away. But he followed after you, his puppy dog eyes wide as he tried to get your attention. When he lightly grabbed your arm, you turned your eyes flashing at him.

He took a step back.

You sighed, “Sorry.”

“No,” He stepped back a little more, “I’m sorry.”

You closed your eyes tightly, trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to fall, “It’s just...”

“You don’t have to tell me.” His voice was soft.

You sank to the ground, burying your face in your hands as you took deep breath after deep breath. A few seconds later you felt him settle beside you.

Luke began to speak, probably to apologize when you abruptly look up straight into his eyes, “I don’t have the best home life I mentioned before. It’s gotten worse and I don’t....”

He grimaced as your once bright eyes began to darken as bad memories were pulled to the surface. Your eyes glazed over as you turned to stare at the wall opposite you.

Luke was quiet for a few minutes before moving closer to you. He gently took the sketch pad that you held tightly to your chest.  

He began to speak, softly and slowly about how he ran away from home because he and his mom had a horrible fight. And he wanted to go back because he missed her and didn’t want to disappoint her, but he needed to prove to her that music was his thing. As he continued speaking, you began to relax in his presence. Everything he spoke of was in a way similar to what you were going through.

As the weeks passed, you both grew closer and you began to trust him more and more, telling him more about yourself and your family. He was easy to talk to and you felt safe telling him your secrets because he had secrets of his own. He listened without judgment and offered support without forcing it on you.

You didn’t know how different everything would be after this.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You walked up to the garage hesitantly. Alex’s parents had explained where the studio was in the back of the house, and that you should just follow the sound of the music.

You gripped the strap of your bag tighter and raised your hand to knock on the door. But you froze. Sighing you turned. But before you could walk away, the door creaked open behind you.

“Y/N?”

You froze and turned around slowly, refusing to meet the boy’s eyes.

Luke was looking at you confused, his eyes darting to the packed duffel bag on your shoulder, to your downcast face.

“I...um.” You swallowed hard, still looking at the ground. You took a hesitant step back.

But before you could run, Luke stepped up to you, his hand raising, gently lifting your chin. Your eyes darted to the side, so they didn’t meet his.

His own eyes darkened when he saw the bruise on your cheek but knew better than to breach the topic.

“Can I stay here for a few days?” You said faintly.

Luke’s eyes roved your face, and for a moment you thought he would refuse. But then he pulled the bag from your shoulder, slinging it over his own. His other arm lifted to wrap around your shoulder as he led you into the studio.

“Boys! We have a guest!”

Alex and Reggie looked up, both smiling widely when they saw you. They ran over, about to pull you into a group hug, when Luke raised his hand causing them to skid to a halt. They both froze at the sight of your bruised face.

You cringed, waiting for the bombardment of question. But instead, they led you over to the couch and Reggie began a long rant about the new Star Wars that was supposed to come out in a few years, until you were giggling on the couch.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You snuggled into the couch, wearing one of Luke’s sweaters you had “confiscated” a few months ago. It was big on you and hung down below your knees. You had the sleeves rolled numerous times yet they were still long enough to fall over your hands.

“Y/N? I need opinions on what to wear for our Orpheum performance tomorrow night and- is that my sweater?”

You didn’t bother looking up as you continued sketching a new Sunset Curve Album cover, “That it is.”

When Luke didn’t say anything, you raised your head to look at him, your brows furrowing, “Are those my slippers?”

“Yes. Can I ask why you’re wearing it?” He said softly.

You tilted your head, confused at his statement, “What?”

“The sweater. My sweater. Why are you wearing it?”

You definitely blame your sleepy brain for your next response, “It makes me feel safe.”

After a beat of silence and a slight quirk of Luke’s mouth, you realized what you had said. Stumbling over your words you frantically spit out, “Nope, I didn’t say that. Ignore that.”

Luke’s smile took up his whole face. He looked you up and down before his eyes widened, “Wait.  Isn’t that the sweater I was looking for months ago?”

“Well…”

“Y/N!” Luke exclaimed, “I asked you for weeks what happened to it! I can’t believe you had it all this time. Have you taken anything else I’ve been looking for?!”

You scoffed, lightly blushing, “What no of course not why would I ever do that….?”

Lies. You always wore his clothes. His shirts to bed. His pants during cold days. His sweatshirts. You loved his shirts and sweaters the best. They smelled like him. They made you feel safe. You loved being able to cuddle up at night tucked in something that reminded you of him. You loved falling asleep surrounded by his scent. Especially if you were feeling particularly down or sad, his scent would wrap you in a cocoon of safety until you relaxed.

#luke patterson x reader #Julie and the phantoms #jatp #jatp fanfiction #fanfic #my fanfic #luke x reader #luke patterson

[jungshookz]

cee omg you could literally write a drabble about uni!yoongi making out with yn and i would literally die

➺ pairing; min yoongi x reader

➺ genre; uni!yoongiverse!! nsfw i think?? i’m not sure?? what do u call it if it’s simultaneously smut and not smut at the same time.,,. smaybe smut,,. smalmost smut,..  smerhaps smut,.,. 

➺ wordcount: 1.5k is this a baby drabble??? idk i’m counting it as a regular drabble 

➺ what to expect; “i’m going to need you to shut up now, please.”

➺ optional reading: not necessary but feel free to read some other drabbles from the uni!yoongiverse!

➺ note; this was originally a baby drabble (literally was only going to be a couple of sentences at the moST) but i got carried away so here we are :D also i wrote this while my professor was in the background talking about 16th century literature on zoom and now it’s a genuine concern for me as to whether or not ancient literature is my aphrodisiac 

                                   »»————-　♡　————-««

you never really know how yoongi does it

every time you tell yourself that this time, you won’t let yourself be distracted by your boyfriend, it’s only three seconds later that you find yourself straddling him on the couch with your hands all over him

and theN when you tell yourself that you’ll only entertain him for ten minutes maximum before getting back to work he does that dumb boyish smirk and head tilt thing (“you sure you wanna go back to your textbook?”) that makes your knees all wobbly and your tummy all warm and before you know it your poor textbooks have been abandoned on the coffee table

one time you even left a marker uncapped and when you came back an hour later it was all dRY

yoongi dipped it into a glass of water in a poor attempt to revive it but it was too late

(he bought u a set of new markers from the bookstore on campus to make up for it)

“do you- mm- do you wanna hear about the classes i’m taking this semester?” you pull away and reach up to adjust your glasses that are now a little wonky considering the fact you and yoongi have been kissing for- has it already been twenty minutes?!

what happened to your ten minute rule??

yoongi rolls his eyes playfully before nodding, “go for it, dork-” he snorts before nudging his nose against your chin to get you to tilt your head back

he knows that if he says no you’re going to whinE about it for the entire time he’s groping you on the sofa so he might as well let you get it off your chest

“okay, so i’m taking this super cool literature course on trauma-“ you hum as you wrap your arms loosely around yoongi’s neck

yoongi starts to press warm kisses against your jaw while his hand slides down from your waist so that he’s gripping the side of your thigh, “mm, yeah? sounds cool.”

“it’s so super cool!” you gasp excitedly, “and the professor is super nice - i mean, she’s a little ditzy with zoom, but that’s to be expected - oh, anD she has purple hair, which automatically makes her the coolest professor ever-” you absentmindedly shift in yoongi’s lap and he grunts when you grind down against him in the process

also

side note

(not that he’s not paying attention to what you’re saying right now, but it’s pretty hard to noT focus on the fact that he’s currently kissing up on his very pretty girlfriend)  

he was never really into dry humping before you came along

you guys don’t do it as often considering the fact that now,.,. now u can just have plain ol sex buT sometimes you’ll get into it if you’re on a tight schedule or something

like the other night yoongi had some dinner plans with a couple of friends (aka going to town on 5 XL pizzas in a grubby frat house) but yoU, for some reason, decided that while he was in the middle of putting his shoes on, that was the perfect time to tell him that you wanted to play

“the last person who gets there has to take out the garbage, and i am noT going to take out the garbage again-“

“but don’t you like it when i grind on you wearing just your sweatshirt?”

yoongi pauses in the middle of tying his laces

so yeah

he was the last one to arrive at the frat house which meant he was on garbage duty but it was totally worth it

and yeah, he supposes dry humping is typically something that only a couple of hormonal prepubescent teenagers would be into but.,,. with you, it’s just so,.,.., it’s so hot

he likes seeing you get so worked up over him when he hasn’t even taken any of his clothes off yet

his favourite is when he’s lying on his back and you’re on top just because he… likes it when you’re on top

there really isn’t a very deep explanation to his preference

it’s a nice view! sue him!

he also likes when you place your hands on his chest

you say it’s because it helps keep you from falling off but he knows you just like touching him there

and right as you’re about to cum, your fingers always twitch and he likes the feeling of your nails digging into the thick fabric of his hoodies

not to mention, he loves seeing your reactions whenever he starts talking dirty to you because your cheeks and the tips of your ears get super red and usually you get all quiet and whimpery but there’s always a fire in your eyes like you’re ready to rip all of his clothes off

like there was one time he actually just wanted to tease you just to see how far he could go (you weren’t paying any attention to him because your stupid nose was stuck in your stupid books as per usual and he was getting really bored) and he’d never seen you so needy before

“yeah? you like it when i talk to you like this?” yoongi coos and bites back a grin when you buck your hips against him with a pitiful whine slipping past your lips

he presses his palm flat against your hip to keep you from moving, “aw, what’s the matter, baby? need me?” yoongi pushes his bottom lip out in a mocking pout as he hooks a finger into the waistband of your skirt before giving it a playful tug

“yoongi, please-“ you prop yourself up on your elbows before leaning up to try to get yoongi to kiss you

he’s been dodging your kisses for the past five minutes which he’s been really enjoying because you look awfully cute when you frown at him like that

and to make matters worse (for you, duh! not him >:-)) he knoWs you really really like kissing him

yoongi nearly snorts when he notices you looking at him like you’re about to skin him alive

he totally gets it because he’s basically blue-balling you

it’s nice to be on the other side of the situation for once!

no wondER you do it all the time

“yoongi.” you clear your throat and he raises a brow

“mhm?”

“i don’t know what kind of game you’re playing here, but-“ you poke your finger against his chest, “in three seconds, i’m going to get on my hands and knees for you - and i want you to push my skirt up, tug my panties to the side, and fuck me. please fuck me.”

yoongi’s eyes widen in surprise and he pulls back a little

you very rareLY use swear words on a daily basis - in fact, you usually scold him when he brings his potty mouth into your apartment - so he’s not used to you dropping the f-bomb so casuall-

“did i mention i started taking birth control?”

yoongi’s mouth immediately goes dry

“-also taking a literature class on shakespeare, which is really bringing me back to high school-“ yoongi snaps out of his little trip down memory lane when he feels you shift on his lap again

okay well

he was like 5% horny earlier but now that the gates of his spank bank have basically flung wiDE open it’s safe to say that he’s roughly… 98% horny?

maybe a little more

maybe like 150% horny

you could flick his forehead and he would have a mind-blowing orgasm - that’s how horny he is. 

it’s not his fault!!! 

blame the spank bank!!! 

“and- oh!” you find yourself flopping back on the couch and staring up at the ceiling all of a sudden and you blink quickly as your brain attempts to catch up to what the hecK is happening right now 

“i’m going to need you to shut up now, please.” yoongi’s face pops up in front of your eyes and your eyes widen when he drags you down towards him until his very obvious bulge is pressing right up against your centre

you feel your face flush bright red and you find yourself struggling to come up with anything to say because a second ago you were literally talking about william frickin shakespeare, “but-”

“here’s what’s going to happen-“ yoongi tugs his sweatshirt up over his head, “first, i’m gonna go down on you,” he tosses it aside before leaning over and placing both hands on either side of your head, the thin silver chain hanging around his neck dangling down, “and then we’re gonna fuck-”

“language!” you say on instinct and yoongi immediately snorts

that’s pretty rich coming from you, miss flip-my-skirt-up-and-fuck-me-now 

“and you know, since i’m feeling particularly generous today,” he ignores your comment about his oh-so inappropriate language, “i’ll gladly let you choose how we boink-”

(you end up riding him which we all know is the decision yoongi is more than happy with.)

help me help you make your wishes come tru (aka send me a request)

requested drabbles masterlist

#requested drabbles #uni!yoongi #uni!yoongi drabbles #yoongi drabbles #yoongi smut #yoongi smut recs #yoongi au #bts smut #bts smut recs #yoongi smut drabbles #bts fics #bts fic recs #yoongi fics #yoongi fic recs #yoongi sexy #yoongi hot #min yoongi #yoongi #yoongi bts #yoongi gifs #yoongi fluff #yoongi fluff recs

[romiantic]

𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐆

⇢ ˗ˏˋ 𝒓𝒚𝒐𝒕𝒂 𝒌𝒊𝒔𝒆 𝒙 𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒆𝒓!𝒃𝒍𝒂𝒄𝒌!𝒇𝒆𝒎!𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓 ࿐ྂ

彡 ❛ 𝐚 𝐧𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚 𝐛𝐞𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐞 ❜

彡 𝗳𝘁. ryota kise

彡 𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗿𝗲: fluff with very little angst

彡 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁: 2.3k

彡 𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀: suggestive theme at the end

彡 𝗮𝘂𝘁𝗵𝗼𝗿’𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲: all characters are 18+. also can we talk about how BOMB this song is 🤧 y’all sleepin on this song fr

·˚ ༘ੈ✩‧₊˚ ╰┈➤ ❛❛ 𝙄 𝙇𝙊𝙑𝙀 𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝙒𝘼𝙔 𝙔𝙊𝙐 𝘿𝙊 𝙄𝙏 ❜❜

❝ 𝐘/𝐍 𝐇𝐔𝐑𝐑𝐘 𝐘𝐎 𝐀𝐒𝐒 𝐔𝐏! You have two minutes till showtime.” Your manager, AKA, older brother, barged and announced to you like he didn’t update you almost five minutes ago.

You did your usual of sucking your teeth and rolling your teeth every time he barged in and interrupted your call, you replied with annoyance in your tone, “AJ I know! Can you wait a minute? Damn, so impatient for absolutely no reason.”

“I’m sorry who’s the one with hundreds of thousands of fans screaming their name and waiting for their ass outside? Me or you? Oh okay. Anyways, end yo little call with yo boyfr-”

“He’s not my boyfriend!” You interrupted, becoming irritated with your brother and simply wanted him to shut the fuck up. A great manager and brother, yet way too uptight for his job.

AJ rolled his eyes and muttered something but you flipped him off and pretended not to hear him until he left your dressing room. You gave your attention back to your phone, giving a cheeky smile to the blonde boy on your screen. From the corner of his eye, he noticed a nervous look growing on you but from what you could tell, he was choosing what shirt to wear to his photoshoot. Leaving him to be seen with a no top on and a pair of denim jeans.

Though it was typical to see your best friend’s exposed upper body, it was a sight you never got used to. His well-toned body, results from years of playing basketball in middle and high school, making your face hot, adding on to the nervousness you were already facing from your upcoming performance. Along with the pearly white smile he flashed at you creating a sick feeling in your stomach, something that you made you clench onto it and try to ignore. Now was not the time to be drooling over your best friend, who interrupted your stare with a laugh and said, “Are you gonna keep staring or are you gonna take a picture?”

Of course, he’d ruin it with some cocky line like that, you rolled your eyes and sucked your teeth. “Boy calm down, ain’t nobody wanna was staring.”

“Your nervous face said otherwise.”

“Akekeke, don’t you have a photoshoot to go to?”

Kise replied with the same energy as yours, “And don’t you have a performance to go to?”

You held up a finger to a screen then crossed your arms, “Aht aht, don’t worry about me now. Worry about yo lil pictures with that famous ass Russian model.” You wanted to roll your eyes just thinking about the brought-up woman but it would make it seem like you’re being jealous for no reason.

Kise let out a small laugh, adoring the irritated look that was starting to creep up on your face. “Somebody sounds jealous.”

You rolled your eyes and let out a scoff, “Oh please, like I would be.” You looked at the time on your watch and noticed it was about one minute until your performance. Your eyes widened at the time and hurried, you quickly ended the call with Kise, “Shit, fuck! I gotta go perform but I’ll call you back when I’m done.”

“And I’ll be waiting for you beautiful when you get back.” The golden-eyed boy winked at you yet you cringed and scrunched your face. “You’re so fucking corny Kise.” You hung up the call, grab any other pieces missing from your outfit, and headed out of your dressing room.

You traveled quickly around backstage, passing by many coworkers and background dancers waiting for you, to head into the small tunnel for artists to come out on stage. You stopped at the exit and gulped as you scanned the stage. An outside arena with hundreds of thousands of fans cheering your name, waiting for your appearance.

Usually, you would be at ease with concerts this large but for some reason this time is different. Unknowing the reason nor cause, you started to feel anxious, your hands mildly shaking and your throat going dry.

There was something in the back of your mind attempting to not make you perform, something telling you to not do it, it won’t be good, people will hate you. A voice there to influence thoughts, hoping that you would fall into the trap and just give up on singing. Though of course, you wouldn’t listen to that voice, that voice always lingered around whenever you were brought to perform, no matter where you were.

The only thing to distract you and keep you safe from that tiny voice is someone who you’ve longed to love. One who just settles your nerves, bringing comfort, and removing all anxious thoughts. One who would deem you as one of the greatest artists he’s ever listened to, maybe it’s opinionated but he loves you too much to disagree.

The now dawdling thought of his soft voice whenever he spoke or his flirtatious nature when you two joked around made a familiar feeling grow greater than before. Something replaced the anxiousness that was growing, a feeling that replaced the nervousness and calmed your shaky hands. Something that was the thought of Ryota Kise, he was like the medicine to all the pain you’ve suffered. A remedy to your anxiety, one of the many causes of the cheeky smile social media often sees you with.

Someone who you grew up and spent all your life with, always noticing how protective he was of you or the way he hummed one of your pre-recorded tracks that he was the only one to listen to. Celebrating one of your songs had hit #1 on the Billboard chart and the way he helped out whenever you hit writer’s block.

Every single thing, noticeable or not, made you grown to love the boy, starting from a platonic, playground friendship blooming to many years of trying to figure out if you are romantically in love with him. Growing familiar feelings of butterflies mixed with the thought of just wanting to cup his face and kiss him whenever he was around.

Just the ultimate feeling of wanting to be buried in the blonde boy’s arms and explain the blooming love for him made you want to sing the song you wrote for him. A new single that you never wanted to put out since you wanted only Kise to hear it, including that the song was your way of telling him what you felt all these years.

Though something changed your mind, something in your brain told you to tell everyone around you that you’re singing solo, no backup singers or dancers, only you on that stage. In this performance, you just had to do it yourself, nothing but you, the stage, and the microphone.

Everyone was confused by the last-minute change of plans but went along with it. They rescheduled it to where your first “official” song to start the concert with was right after your solo performance. You gave thanks to your team and took some deep breaths. You made sure your Bluetooth set was on and working properly in your ear, AJ handed you a mic and brushed off any wrinkling from your outfit and any smoothed out your hair. Uptight about his job yet made sure his little sister was looking the greatest for her performances.

You took deep breaths again, shook off any bad nerves, and walked on stage. The already excited crowd enraged and their volume expanded as they saw you stand before them. Everyone waving their signs that said, “I love you y/n!!” or “Y/N is so beautiful!” You waved to the audience and stopped at the middle of the stage, walking closer to the front of the stage as well.

You turned on the mic and tapped it to see if it was working, “Mic check one two, can you guys hear me?” The crowd immediately responded yes, you continued on to talk to them, “Okay good, have been getting technical difficulties with my mic and I really don’t feel like switching mics three times. Anyways, afternoon to all my lovely fans who made it out here or to those that are watching me live. I love you all and thank you for supporting me, I truly am grateful for every single one of y’all.” Everyone screamed out how much they love you and adore you, showing off their merch that they bought and waving the homemade posters.

You smiled at their response and cleared your throat as you introduced the song, “Thank you, I love you too. This first song is one that has been sitting too comfortably in my heart. A piece that came from genuine emotions and feelings I’ve tried to bury yet couldn’t no matter how hard I tried. It’s something that I never planned on dropping but I just felt like the world had to hear what I had to say. Hopefully, you guys enjoy it cause I did when I was writing this song at two in the morning before I snuck into the studio and recorded it. Was it worth it? Definitely. Now I may introduce to you, Not Another Love Song. A contradicting title isn’t it?”

You took a large breath in and out, you took a position as you waited for the beat to drop. As soon as you heard the familiar melody start, you sang, “I don’t wanna mess this up, could it be too much to say I’m in?”

The crowd lowered down and became silent to hear your new single, grasping the beautiful new lyrics you were singing and just vibing along with it.

You yourself were placing emotion as you sang, not noticing how proudly you sang the chorus or how you were smiling at the crowd the entire time. One thing was clouding your mind to even pay attention to those details, the same thing that more than likely pushed you to sing the song.

As you sang, the feelings for your best friend grew stronger, butterflies in your stomach, and the deprivation of his touch grew on you. Not even realizing how much you missed him until you turned initially to smile at AJ and your team yet saw a familiar face appear as well. You questioned it but then turned back to continue singing to the audience, only thinking that mind is playing games with you.

“I'm finna take my time, my mind, my rules. This ain't no crimе makin' love to you, though you ain't say this. But I had a hard time waitin' for you, boy. Like ooh, boy, you, boy. Got me where you want, just gotta say and it's on, it's like, ooh, boy, do you know you got me like where do you go when you're alone?”

As you sang, you noticed the crowd growing silent, their eyes widening, and their jaws dropping. You were utterly confused at was catching their attention, you turned to your team and your brother pointed behind, giving you a goofy smile as well.

You turned around to what was the cause of this silent commotion and right along with everyone else, your jaw drop and your eyes widened. The flirtatious, handsome model that everyone knew of was standing in front of you with a bouquet of roses in his hand. He walked up to you and smiled greatly, closing in the large gap between the both of you.

Seeing him walk closer to you made you want to say forget concert and sing the rest to him. Half of your feeling was already poured out, not even knowing he was listening to all of it. You didn’t think he would even be here since he had a photoshoot, not standing on an outside stage with a bouquet of roses and dressed in casual attire.

He handed you the roses and kissed your forehead, telling you, “Alone with you, away from the world, where else would I be when I’m alone?”

No response came from you, not even a single gasp or a sniffle to signify that you might cry. The way you responded to his presence was something that shocked the arena, everyone watching you on live, your team, and even the two of you yourself. Who would’ve thought you would be bold enough to grab his face and kiss him right then and there? You snaked your arm around his waist and pulled him closer to deepen the kiss. He responded back by wrapping his hands around your shoulders and hugging you tightly, holding onto you to make sure you wouldn’t separate from him.

You pulled back from the kiss and smiled, softly combed his blonde hair, and expressed, “I love you, Kise.” Saying his name like it was something you’ve been aching to say, a name that you’ve buried away yet brought out today. A name that sounded so lovely and romantic when you say it.

Kise expressed as well, “I love you too y/n. I’ve always loved you and I will never stop loving you.” He kissed you again, he removed his hand from your shoulders and trailed around to find your hands. He removed your hands from his waist and instead intertwined them with his.

He felt you smile when he held your hand and smiled back. He stated in between kisses, “You know I’m staying on this stage to hear you finish that song right?”

“It’s fine, I need someone to do my next performance on anyways.” He looked at you and you did nothing but wink and mischievously smiled at him. Kise had a small idea of what he could expect but suppressed it to enjoy the soft moment he wanted between the both of you. A moment that he’ll never forget and a concert that will always be remembered for everyone around you.

彡 it’s like 5 am and I’m tired 🦧 the only thing that kept me up was the fact that I don’t have school plus I loveeeeee kise

彡 also the show olivia

彡 I don’t think I ever mentioned to y’all how much I love his ass but now is definitely not the time 😁

彡 I’m convinced if it silent black hair blue eye powerful men weren’t my type, cocky and flirtatious ones would be runner up

彡 anyways hope you guys enjoy + pleaseee listen to the song, I highly recommend plus ella mai is VERY underrated

bye babes, drink your water, stay hydrated, and remember that you are the baddest bitch on the planet 🥰 no matter what ANYONE says

𝐏𝐬𝐚𝐥𝐦 𝟏𝟖:𝟑𝟎 💗

© 𝟤𝟢𝟤𝟣 𝗄𝗈𝗂𝗌𝗁𝗂𝗀𝗎𝗋𝗈. 𝖺𝗅𝗅 𝗋𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍𝗌 𝗋𝖾𝗌𝖾𝗋𝗏𝖾𝖽

#knb x black reader #knb x black!reader #ryouta kise x black reader #ryouta kise x black!reader #knb fluff #kise fluff #ryouta kise fluff

[xxdragonwriterxx]

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[archaxwii]

Through Diamond and Flesh

Warnings: This fic involves safe, soft, consensual, non-sexual vore, as well as g/t content.

This is just a silly Skeppy and Bad vore fic, I wrote it like a week ago but what better time to post it than now? Also Skeppy and Bad's relationship con be interpreted as romantic or platonic as you want. This is a little outdated now as of the last lore stream but we’ll just say this takes place in a world where everyone on the SMP makes it out safe and alive. (Also I’m a bit rusty so apologies if the writing or dialogue isn’t great)

—

Skeppy and Bad have been friends for several years now. They had grown very fond of each other in that time. Especially after a...certain incident with an egg and maybe getting possessed and Skeppy nearly dying to said egg...multiple times...However, that was a couple years ago, the egg was gone and the duo had been saved. It had taken a lot of time (and therapy) but they were now closer than ever before.

Sometimes Skeppy thought maybe too close.

Now, Bad and Skeppy had grown up very differently. Skeppy was a diamond golem, he didn't exactly have parents he had a creator, who had basically left him alone to his own devices, which is why he had come to the smp.

Bad, however, was a demon from the Nether. He had actual parents, who had raised him and loved him until he was old enough to decide to move to the Overworld.

They talked a lot about how they'd grown up, and there were a lot of things Skeppy found weird about how Bad's parents raised him, but there was one thing in particular that he kept getting stuck on.

"I still don't understand how you don't think it's weird your parents used to eat you as a kid." Skeppy said, exasperated.

Bad groaned, waving his arms around." I don't get why it weirds you out so much, it's honestly not that big of a deal!" He protested.

" Besides...I don't remember it being that bad." He mumbled, looking away with embarrassment.

Skeppy shook his head." You're such a weirdo." He said giving Bad a light shove.

Bad huffed, immediately shoving him back." Maybe I am, but I honestly don't think it was as bad as you're making it out to be." He paused, and turned to Skeppy with a cheeky grin." You know, I could show you what it was like?” He offered.

Skeppy actually, physically jumped back." What?! Are you crazy?!" He shouted." No, I don't wanna be eaten, how would that even work that's not even physically possible!" He really shouldn't have said that, because that just opened the gateway for Bad.

Bad crossed his arms." No, I'm not "crazy". And really, it's not that big of a stretch, I'm sure that at my full height I'd be able to do it." He reasoned.

He really, really hated that that was probably true.

Bad is a size shifter, with four different sizes he could choose from, and at his tallest he was somewhere around 15 feet. Probably definitely able to eat someone.

Skeppy shook his head." I think you might be forgetting one important detail here, Bad, I WILL DIE IF YOU EAT ME." Despite being almost 3 feet taller than him, Bad still winced from the loud noise.

"What makes you say that?" He had the audacity to sound genuinely confused.

Skeppy flung his hands in the air." Uhh, I don't know, maybe because things get digested in burning acid when they're eaten?!" He cried with less vigor, but still sounding upset.

Bad stared at Skeppy with an seriously embarrassing amount of confusion. After a few seconds it finally seemed to click." Ohh, no no no, Skeppy, that's not how it works. Did I never give you a lesson on demon anatomy?"  No, he hadn't, and Skeppy was kind of hoping to keep it that way.

"See, demons like me have two stomachs," he pointed at an area slightly higher than where a normal stomach would be," this one is for storage purposes, it doesn't have any digestive fluids or anything like that. Everything I eat has to go through there before I manually send it into this stomach," he pointed a little lower," That one does actually digest all my food and stuff." He explained.

He gave Skeppy an odd look." How did you think my parents were able to...eat me?" He asked.

Skeppy sighed, not making eye contact." I dunno man, I just thought it happened with some weird demon magic or whatever." So it was actually possible for Bad to eat him, and for him to be completely safe.

" I don't know Bad, this is still really freaking weird, I don't think I wanna do this." He said uncomfortably.

Bad sighed, a bit dejected." Ok, Skeppy, I won't make you do it if you don't want to. I just wanted to explain why I wanted to do it." Why did he sound sad?

Skeppy tilted his head." Why, exactly, do you want to do it? I still don't see what's enjoyable about it." He asked genuinely.

Bad scratched the back of his head, looking awkward." I- I don't know. I just remember it feeling very nice. Even as a demon the Nether is still a scary place, I felt...safe whenever they did it. It was just...nice and warm. Like nothing could hurt me." He admitted quietly.

Skeppy gave him a soft smile." It sounds like you wanna get eaten more than I do." He joked lightly.

Bad brightened, giving him a wide grin." Oh my gosh, would you eat me, Skeppy?" He asked hopefully, tail wagging like an oversized dog.

Skeppy very quickly shook his head." What?! No way, dude! That would definitely kill you!" He yelped.

Bad grabbed his hands, linking them together." Not necessarily! I think I have some potions that can make me immune to acid!” He explained excitedly.

Skeppy gave him a skeptical look." You just have those lying around, huh?" He deadpanned.

If Bad were human, he probably would have blushed." Well-I, you see-... shut up." He sputtered." Look, will you actually do it now?"

He bent his knees to look Skeppy in the eyes.

Despite the fact that Bad was a 9'6 demon, it was still impossible for him to not give into the puppy dog eyes.

He hesitated for several seconds, and took a deep breath.

"Show me what to do."

—

Well, here he was. With a tiny, potioned up Bad in the palm of his hand.

"Are you ready, Skeppy?" Bad asked gently. He was willing to go as slowly as possible for Skeppy's comfort, even if he was incredibly eager. Especially since he'd taken off his robes in exchange for an easier T shirt and shorts, making him much colder.

Skeppy shifted nervously." I don't know what to do." He admitted.

Bad tilted his head." Do you wanna let me inside your mouth?" He asked calmly.

Skeppy's anxiety skyrocketed, but he tried not to let it show. He delicately brought Bad closer to his mouth. He really didn't wanna do this.

Bad smiled calmly, sensing his nervousness." Would you like me to just climb in myself? So you don't feel like I'm being forced?" Skeppy nodded and wordlessly opened his mouth.

He slowly climbed in, trying not to startle Skeppy too much. He very patiently sat on his friends tongue. It sadly wasn't as warm as he'd like, but it was better than outside.

"Now, I know this may sound weird, but I need you to lick me, like, a lot." He guided.

Skeppy whined, and Bad reassured him that he was fine and ok with it.

Skeppy reluctantly obliged and began running his tongue across the demon, coating him in a thick layer of saliva. He had a very smoke-y taste to him, which made sense seeing as he was from the Nether. Eventually Bad told him he'd done enough and, to Skeppy's dismay, moved closer to his throat.

"I'm ready when you are, Skeppy." He shuddered, Bad was putting his complete trust and faith into him. He was willing and excited to let Skeppy eat him. He didn’t want to let his best friend down.

He tilted his head back, swallowing thickly. He tried not to panic over the unusually large lump that was traveling down his throat. It was such a weird sensation, yet to his surprise it wasn’t as horrible as he thought it would be. He swallowed a few more times, and eventually the warm weight that was his best friend settled into his belly.

Immediately he began asking," Are you ok? I didn't hurt you did I?"

Bad didn't respond for a few moments and Skeppy now had to deal with the startling sensation of something moving in his stomach, as Bad pawed around like he was trying to get his bearings.

Finally, he responded." Yes, Skeppy, I'm ok. That was a little disorienting but I'm perfectly fine." He paused for a moment." Are you ok?" He inquired.

He wasn’t sure how to answer, he was still processing that he’d just eaten his best friend alive.

He pressed a hand against his stomach, feeling where Bad was. He felt a bit of shuffling and soon a hand was pressed against the inside as well. Bad was...safe...inside him. Skeppy was now the sole protector of him. Protected by layers of flesh and diamond, no one could hurt him. Now he was beginning to understand why Bad wanted to do this so desperately. He wanted to be able to protect his best friend like this all the time, and he was certain that's how Bad felt as well.

"I think I'm ok, actually..." He said softly, gently rubbing circles against Bad's form.

Bad was quite happy about his current situation. The walls around him were very soft and, if it weren't for the layers of slime he was coated in, felt almost like a bed. He didn't have much room to move but he didn't feel like he was being suffocated. It wasn't as warm as he'd like (aka as warm as sitting in a fire) but it was warm, and that was very pleasant. He could hear the gurgles and growls of the organs surrounding him, as well as the gradually steadier heartbeat and whoosh of Skeppy's lungs as he began calming down. Loud, but not too intrusive.

The best thing about it, though, was that he hasn't felt this safe in a long, long time.

Ever since his time with The Egg he had become a very paranoid and closed off person. He was afraid of talking to the other members of the server, either out of fear that they still harbored some hatred for what he'd done, or that they would be corrupted as well. Even though he knew that The Egg was gone now it had woven itself very deep into his brain, and a small part of him still believed that one day it would erupt from the earth and devour the world with its vines.

Bad harshly shook his head. He wouldn't let thoughts about The Egg get to him. That was for Puffy’s therapy office, not for here.

Truthfully, though, he hadn't really felt safe since the day he'd stepped out of the Nether portal for the first time. Far from his family, his home. Not even being with Skeppy had made him feel as safe as he did now.

But now, he was at the very core of his best friend. Nothing could hurt him. He was safe, and he was with Skeppy, he couldn't ask for anything better.

He grinned a little to himself, giving the wall he was leaned against a little pat." I told you it wasn't as bad as you thought it'd be." He said only a little smugly.

Skeppy sighed with faux frustration." I will admit, I didn't expect it to feel...like this." He laid down on his bed, placing a hand on his stomach.

“ I guess it's not that bad." He said, rubbing small circles where he could feel Bad's form.

Bad grinned a little, beginning to rub circles with both of his hands against the walls of Skeppy's stomach.

Skeppy practically melted into his bed at that point. He'd definitely never felt anything like that before, it made him feel very warm and content.

They stayed like that for a couple more minutes but he was starting to get tired, and he knew Bad must be tired as well.

"Are you gonna be ok if I leave you in there? Will you be safe?" He questioned softly.

Bad nodded out of habit despite the fact that Skeppy couldn't see." It'll be fine, the potion’s got a long time before it wears off," he paused,"...I kinda planned for this." He said with only slight embarrassment.

Skeppy lightly chuckled, he would have to remember to tease him about that in the morning but for now he was too tired, instead just settling on giving his belly a light pat.

They both drowsily exchanged their good nights before slowly dozing off together, finally feeling safe and content at last.

#tw vore #mcyt g/t #mcyt gt #soft vore #g/t Bad #g/t Skeppy #ember's writing #If people like this I might try to write one where the roles are reversed #Not gonna make promises though

[agent-cupcake]

yuri with yandere prompt number eight? i feel like thats the most accurate for him

This ask is old but I’m never gonna quit these yandere prompts. Try and stop me. (aka, here’s 5k of unhealthy pining and Yuri “I want to confess my love but I don’t feel like I deserve you” Leclerc)

//

A sharp, frightened gasp was what pulled you awake. Terror gripped your thoughts as a memory overrode all rational thought —the scent of tread packed filth and chalky, tangy, sharp stone filling your nose with each shallow, bloody, gasping breath. Cold, cutting gravel scraping against your cheek, your scalp, the sharp pebbles embedded into your skin with the force with which you had hit the ground. You couldn’t move, couldn’t fight your collapsed chest into expanding for air to fill your lungs. Escape, you had to escape, that was the only real, solid understanding in your dazed brain as you struggled against the blankets.

But then you blinked a few times, your eyes rolling as you focused them, and realized that was nothing more than a dream. You were safe. Sore, uncomfortable, in an unfamiliar bed and wearing unfamiliar clothes, but safe. And confused, still entangled in the cotton fog of unconsciousness.

You had been… Where had you been? Your head was foggy, your thoughts blurry, almost enough to convince you that you were dreaming. If only you weren’t so uncomfortable. Something was wrong, more than just being sick. There had been… Blood? Pain?

Agony. A blunt, overwhelming ache that had slammed against the entire right side of your body when you hit the ground. A whine had escaped your mouth alongside a glob of bloody saliva. The pain was all-consuming. You could remember that in the same second the pain registered so did the panic of knowing that you were going to be sick right there on the street. Nausea had seized your stomach and you had been helpless to its violent, urgent, undulating undertow. Rocks cut into your palms as you wrenched yourself up to avoid choking as you sputtered and heaved and coughed out the acidic bile. When you blinked, your sight clearing from a dozen fragmented frames into a single dizzy, tear-blurred picture, all you saw was blood. Blood in the watery puddle on the ground, scarlet staining your side, oozing up between your fingers as you pressed a panicked hand against the slash across your ribs as if that would force the blood back where it belonged.  

But there was no blood now. No wounds to validate that terrible living nightmare.

Everything came flooding back into your mind as your thoughts cleared up. You remembered accepting Lev’s offer to ignore Yuri’s orders and perform a secretive strike on an opposing gang. You remembered going along with the plan and taking the dangerous role of getting everyone into the Vanargand base despite the risk. You remembered nearly died in the escape.

You remembered thinking that you were dead. In that moment of laying on the street in a puddle of your own blood, you had clung to the pathetic thought that you didn’t want to die. Even though you already had, you didn’t want to betray Yuri in this way, too. He didn’t want you involved in any of this, he did everything he could to keep you out of it. He promised your brother, he made a vow. But even that tragic, horrible thought had become cloudy as cold disseminated ice throughout your body, piercing all the way into the marrow of your bones and numbing your limbs, pulling you closer into the creeping void. That was the last of what you could remember.

Now, the only remaining evidence of your brush with death was the bruised shades of puce plum and rotten currant covering the entire right side of your body. Someone had used white magic to heal the direst of your wounds. Presumably, the same someone who had saved you. You were pretty sure you knew exactly who that someone was, too.

Your hero.

Yuri Leclerc with his violet eyes and smiling mouth and sweeping, dramatic cape who came to you after your brother’s death and told you of the promise he’d made as his boss and friend. Yuri Leclerc, the nearly mythical Underground Lord, the unaging Savage Mockingbird. Your hero, your knight in armor of shadow and subterfuge. He promised that he would protect you. And he had saved you. Again.

With a soft groan, you turned from laying on your back to your mostly uninjured left side. The bed was comfortable enough, better than your own. The room was smaller than yours, however, easily lit up by just a single lamp. By all standards, it was far from lavish, but you were covered in a thick comforter with two pillows plumped beneath your head. The four-poster frame was made of an attractively dark solid wood that matched the bedside table, writing desk, and chair. It looked an awful lot like the impersonal room of an inn, although there were clear signs that someone lived in here. Books and paper and feather pens were stacked on the desk, a glass rainbow of bottles lined up on the shelf above, a colorful swath of clothes on the rack.

Most telling was the way that the room, the bedding, and the clothes you wore all smelled like Yuri. An intoxicating embrace of spring rose and lilac, plush amber musk, and heady sweet vanilla. Achingly familiar, desirable, wonderful. Now it just made you sick. While the previous day’s actions could make a case for your intellectual deficiencies, it didn’t take a genius to figure out where you were. You groaned softly, closing your eyes.

Yuri was going to be mad. You had justified following Lev before by telling yourself that if the job went off without a hitch, Yuri would be so impressed with your skills that he would have no choice but to recognize you as a member of his gang and stop coddling you. Now you realized that it was and always had been an act of petty rebellion. Yuri would never respect your reckless disregard for his orders and your own life, not even if it had gone well.

Which it hadn’t. You had no idea what had gone wrong, you had performed your task without any problems, getting the small group of men into the compound without alerting any guards. Your brother had done well in teaching you to sneak around. But then there was complete and utter chaos and they all came running back as the compound was eaten up by flames, your so-called friends leaving you stranded on the top of the wall with a group of Vanargand men. So you jumped.

Even your vague recall of that particular agony made you wince, your stomach churning unhappily.

The sound of someone outside the door made your heart jump, your eyes instinctually closing to feign sleep. Maybe if you seemed like you were sleeping you could spare yourself a lecture. Or worse, his disappointment. The doorknob turned, the wood creaking, the metal hinges making the faintest squeak as they were pushed. You held your breath.

But nobody came in, stopping in response to the approaching sound of another, heavier set of footsteps. “Glad to see you back in one piece,” Yuri greeted whoever it was. With the door cracked the way it was, you could hear him quite clearly. His voice was friendly, matching the smile he must have been wearing, but it was sharp, too. You knew that tone, recognized the danger it hid. “I figured it would be you who led this little rebellion.”

“Rebellion?” Lev asked. “I acted for all of us. The Vanargand boys won’t be an issue anymore.”

Yuri laughed. Although the sound was oddly genuine, nobody could miss the fact that he was making fun of Lev. “You really believe that?” he asked, his voice lilting with disbelief.

Lev grunted, you could imagine his scowl. He scowled a lot. “If you knew what we did to them, you wouldn’t laugh.”

“All you did was kick the hornet’s nest,” Yuri said, unimpressed, “while ignoring my orders to standby.”

“I came here to tell you that I think things should change around here, I think-”

“I don’t actually care what you think,” Yuri said, cutting him off calmly. His tone was deadly smooth, dripping with the unique threat of his friendly malice. “I expect you to be out of here by the time the sun rises. That gives you, what, four hours? Plenty of time.”

“What?” Lev asked, his bravado faltering.

“Leave my city,” Yuri told him. “And pray that I never see you again.”

“You can’t kick me out,” Lev said. “Not after all I’ve done for you, for the gang.”

“No?” Yuri asked. “You directly disobeyed my orders and put my men at risk for the sake of your own ego. I’d say that’s a pretty good reason to lose any and all trust I ever had in you.”

“The Vanargand Street Gang have been a pain in the ass for too long,” Lev told him, his tone growing combative. “I decided to do something about it.”

“I had them under control,” Yuri said. “without stooping to such boorish and dangerous methods.”

Lev responded with a mocking bark of a laugh. “Nah, this is about the girl, isn’t it? You should know that she all but begged me to take her along. If you wanna talk about trust, maybe consider why your precious little pet would disobey you.”

You froze, a cold, nervous sweat beading up at the nape of your neck, anxious nausea once again closing in your throat. Either unfortunately or fortunately, Yuri breezed right past that comment as if it didn’t affect him in the slightest. “This has nothing to do with her,” Yuri said without missing a beat. “If you don’t think I’m a fit leader, challenge my authority directly. But I’m warning you. Think carefully about what you do next. Right now, I’m relieved enough that nobody was seriously hurt by your incompetence that I’m willing to let you go with nothing more than a warning.” His voice lowered dangerously, forcing you to strain slightly to make it out. There was no playful teasing injected into these words, no way to interpret them as anything other than naked intimidation. “Don’t mistake my benevolence for weakness, you won’t live to regret it.”

A long moment of tense silence passed between the two men. You could imagine Lev’s storming rage, Yuri’s cool demeanor. You didn’t dare move, afraid that either would hear and unsure which was worse. The moment was broken only by another set of thumping, rhythmic footsteps cresting up the stairs. There was only one man who could possibly make that much noise.

“I heard shouting. I’m not missing the party, am I?” Balthus asked. While there was nothing directly antagonistic about the man’s voice, there was no mistaking the threat he posed. There was a reason he was Yuri’s right-hand man.

“No,” Yuri said. “Lev and I are simply having a… Disagreement.”

“Oh yeah?” Balthus asked. “Anything I should weigh in on?”

“That depends,” Yuri said. “What do you say, Lev?”

“Damn you, Leclerc.”

“Haven’t you heard?” Yuri asked, a hint of a smile in his voice. “I’m already damned.”

There was another moment of silence, almost long enough to make you wonder if the trio had somehow disappeared, before Lev swore under his breath and retreated past Yuri and Balthus, his feet pounding a cadenced thump, thump, thump as he stalked down the stairs.

“Balthus,” Yuri said when Lev’s footsteps were completely lost. “Would you mind making sure our friend makes it out of the city without doing anything reckless?”

“Think he might?” Balthus asked.

“Honestly, I’m not sure,” Yuri responded, his voice was more honest than with Lev. He sounded tired. “I sure as hell didn’t think he would make a move like this just yet.”

“I’ll keep an eye on him.” Balthus paused. “What, uh, should I do if he tries anything?”

“Take him to the Vanargand. I’m sure they’ll be hunting him down regardless.”

Balthus whistled. “That’s pretty cold, boss.”

“It’s far better than he deserves,” Yuri said, his voice dark. “If she died, I…”

“No need to explain. I get it, pal,” Balthus said, saving Yuri from having to continue. As badly as you didn’t want to know what Yuri was going to say, you very desperately did, too. “I’ll make sure he stays in line. You look like you could use some rest. Or a drink.”

Yuri laughed, the sound a bit lighter than before. “You might be right about that.”

“Of course I am,” Balthus said. “You don’t live as long as I have without catching wise to these things. I’ll be off, then.”

“Good luck,” Yuri said, “and don’t do anything stupid. There’s only so much I can handle in one night.”

“Hah!” Balthus called, trampling right back down the hallway. “That big brain of yours will burst into flames if you keep on worrying about everything, pal. Better call it quits before you ruin that cute face with wrinkles.” Yuri laughed.

Realizing that Balthus leaving would mean Yuri would finally enter the room, you threw the blankets off of yourself and sat up. It hurt like hell, it felt like every single inch of your body was bruised, right down to the bone, but it was doable after the sickening dizziness passed.

You didn’t particularly want to get up, but you didn’t want to stick around and have the conversion you knew Yuri would start, either.

The way Yuri worried made your chest clench. You didn’t dare name it discomfort, but the feeling was awfully close. It was Yuri’s growing intensity that you noticed first. The way he’d get when other men got too close to you, the pointed questions he’d ask about your interactions with other people. How he worried when you had to travel or interact with people he didn’t trust, insisting that you tell him every single detail about what you were doing. Worse, the times when he seemed to know things he shouldn’t, things you didn’t tell him.

It was because of the promise he had made to your brother, he said, to keep you safe. Yuri valued the men under his command, and your brother had been a close comrade of his. And you bought it at first because your brother had always been protective, but Yuri’s behavior was different. He wasn’t your brother, but neither did you get the impression you were friends. Friends weren’t suffocatingly overprotective. Not friends, but not anything more, either. He never flirted with you as he did with everybody else, as he had before. Not even in a playful, teasing way. The tighter hold he kept on you, the more and more he maintained a distance.

Lev called you Yuri’s precious pet, and that struck too close to home. You hated it. You weren’t a child —you weren’t even a teenager anymore— and yet Yuri acted like you were made of glass. Like you couldn’t be trusted to look after yourself, like you were… Like you were a pet.

That’s why you had agreed to Lev’s job in the first. You wanted to change the dynamic the two of you had. You figured that if he saw that you weren’t as weak as he feared, that you were just as capable as the men in his gang, that he’d stop being so intensely and oppressively protective. But if he was willing to give Lev up to the torture the Vanargand gang would inflict on him for the sin of endangering you, you didn’t think it had been at all effective. Actually, it made sense that your near-death and horrible failure would have the opposite effect.

Steading yourself, you searched the room for your shoes. Someone, and you didn’t dare to think of who, had changed you into what you were pretty sure were Yuri’s clothes. While it made sense considering your own were probably nothing more than blood soaked rags, you weren’t incredibly comfortable with wearing his things. The smell alone was nearly overwhelming, but the level of intimacy it implied was something you didn’t dare consider. Even worse that you should wake up in his bed. His bed that was obviously big enough for two people, a bed that he had probably had company in because he was attractive and desirable and… And you couldn’t find your shoes.

“What are you doing?” Yuri asked. The door shut behind him, the metal latch clicking.

It occurred to you that while you’d been having a micro-meltdown, Yuri had probably been standing there watching.

“Leaving,” you responded, trying to maintain a neutral expression despite the way your voice cracked. That brave attempt fell apart with the way you burst into a coughing fit a moment later, hacking up sharp bursts of air against your scratched up throat, each breath sending aching pulses of pain against your bruised side.

“Don’t strain yourself,” Yuri scolded, rushing to the bedside table to pour you some water. So considerate, always. Guilt rose up within you. After he saved you, how could you be so rude and ungrateful? You knew he cared. He was your hero.

You averted your streaming eyes and took a few slow, careful sips from the cup as Yuri took a seat on the desk chair, sitting the wrong way with his arms draped over the chair’s back.

“Drink this, too,” he said, handing you a vial. You uncapped it to take a sniff it, wincing at the astringent scent.

“What is it?” you asked.

“It’ll help with the pain,” he said. You nodded, grateful for the idea of that, and pinched your nose to down the vial. It was exactly as disgusting as it smelled. At the very least, it wiped the smell of Yuri from your head for a spell. “You should lay back down,” he recommended. “Magic can only do so much to heal your wounds. Not to mention that you’ve had a hell of a shock. Honestly, after what happened, I’m surprised you managed to get upright. You’re full of surprises tonight, aren’t you?”

The implication, the reminder of what you’d done in such a banal tone, made you wince. Guilt or shame or embarrassment, you didn’t know. “I’m fine,” you said, staring at the floor rather than meet his eyes.

“It’s cute that you can say that with a straight face,” Yuri said. “Seriously, you look terrible.”

“Thanks,” you mumbled sarcastically, an instinctually petulant reaction to the way he treated you, “But I really am capable of taking care of myself.”

He didn’t even grace that with a serious answer, rolling his eyes. “Obviously.”

“I can’t stay here,” you said.

“You can,” Yuri told you, “and you will. You’ve lost a lot of blood and I don’t need a dead body on my doorstep. It’s bad for business.”

“Where will you sleep?”

“Don’t worry about that,” Yuri said. You met his eyes, frowning as you tried to figure out what he was thinking, what he was feeling. He sighed, likely reading the further arguments you were going to make in the way you looked at him. “I’ve had a long night dealing with your mess. Stop being a fool and do what I say.” “Or what?” you muttered, looking away again as you fought against the guilt. He didn’t own you, you weren’t even one of his men. He couldn’t order you around.

“Or I’ll make you,” Yuri said bluntly. “I doubt that’ll pleasant for either of us.”

That answer sent a shiver down your spine, whatever complaints you had been trying to maintain drying up on your tongue because you kind of believed him. His cold, cruel tone of voice when dealing with Lev was still all too clear in your mind. Besides, he was right. He was usually right. That didn’t help the terrible sensation of being treated like a child, like an invalid.

Avoiding his eyes, you set aside your cup and did what he said, tucking your feet back under the covers, leaning down against the pillows. It was a lot easier on your aching side, better for the splitting headache gathered up behind your right temple.

“Did you save me?” you asked after a moment, staring at the quilted pattern.

“Yeah,” Yuri responded, his voice unreadable.

“And you healed me?”

“What do you think?”

It had been a dumb question. You couldn’t imagine Yuri letting anyone else see that much of your bare skin to heal those wounds. All the same. “You don’t have to be rude, I was just clarifying,” you told him with a frown.

“Right, right, sorry. I just about forgot myself,” Yuri said, a smile playing at the corners of his mouth. “What I meant was that I was the one who rushed to your rescue and healed your wounds, fair maiden. Is that better?”

You frowned, refusing to be amused by his antics. Despite the joking tone Yuri took, those words set you on edge. He hardly ever teased you like that anymore, now it just felt off. “Who changed my clothes?”

“Is that what you’re worried about?” Yuri asked. Was there amusement in his tone? At your embarrassment? You could feel that your cheeks were hot and hoped desperately that he couldn’t tell. “Well,” he shrugged apologetically, “it’s not like I had much of a choice and I couldn’t put you to bed in dirty clothes…” Yuri looked up to meet your horrified eyes, smiling. “Kidding. I do have some honor. I asked the landlady to help me out. Your virtue is intact.”

Virtue. You swallowed hard on that word, drinking the last of the water. Your thoughts were beginning to fuzz, becoming less clear. It made it harder to refocus after being caught off guard by his teasing. The pain wasn’t as crisp, more of a background ache rather than an insistent thud. That was distracting, too. You knew that, for some reason, he wanted to fluster you. But you couldn’t let him distract you, nor could you let your embarrassment deter you. So, clenching your fists, you looked up and met his eyes.

“Thank you for saving me,” you said carefully. “I’m… I’m sorry for inconveniencing you.”

Yuri didn’t answer right away, staring you down in his unnervingly piercing way. The intensity of his eyes was uncomfortable, but it was undercut with the swirling storm of concern amidst the individual strands of purple pigment, the void-like pool of pupil. “I’m glad you’re alive,” he said carefully. And that was honest, genuine. He looked so tired. He sounded tired.

“I owe you. Twice, for saving me and healing me,” you said, forcing the words out in as business-like of a tone as you could manage. They were slurred, slightly. Had he given you a sedative? Or was this just normal exhaustion finally taking you out? “So tell me how you would like to be repaid, and I’ll see that it’s done.”

Yuri’s head fell to the side in confusion, like the question threw him off guard. Good. “Excuse me, what?”

“That’s how it is in your world,” you replied. “Our world. Right?”

“Our world?” Yuri asked, his expression retreating into a mask.

“The real world. Altruism doesn’t exist. When someone does something for you, there’s always a price. If I want to be taken seriously, I can’t keep being naïve about that.”

“That’s pretty cynical of you.” Was it just you or did he sound sad about that fact?

“You taught me well.”

“Not well enough,” he said, frowning as his eyes lingered on the bruises. He sighed. “So, I take it that that’s why you went? You want to be taken seriously?”

“Yes,” you said slowly, surprised that he’d be able to cut to the heart of it so quickly. Then again, it shouldn’t have been that surprising. Yuri was all too good at that.

“Word to the wise,” Yuri told you. “Never act unless success is guaranteed. If you want to be taken seriously, you have to have results to show for it.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” you said.

“And another thing,” Yuri added. “Never give out open ended favors. Not even to people you trust. You might not like it when they call to collect.”

“But I know you wouldn’t want anything bad from me,” you said, frowning and unsure if he was implying what you thought he was. He couldn’t be, not Yuri. Not to you.

“Is that a fact?” he asked. “I could be helping you simply to get one of those incredibly enticing open favors. Now I’ve got two of them, I wonder what I could ask for…”

“I’m being serious,” you said.

“You think I’m not?” Yuri smiled at you like he knew all the secrets in the world, like you’d never catch him without the trickster’s mask or even guess at what he had hidden beneath. But then your reply was eaten by a mostly stifled yawn that tugged hard at your sore jaw and all pretense fell away to the concerned expression you knew so well from him. “Alright, enough of that. You look like you’re about to pass out. Get some sleep. I’ll watch over you, yeah?” he offered, flipping the chair around so he could sit directly at the bedside.

You couldn’t argue with that, yawning again. It hit you all at once, it seemed. You were passing out, the need for sleep becoming more and more pressing with each breath. “Next time,” you told him, your words slurring like a drunk as you settled further down into the bed. Your body felt so heavy, the colors of the room smoothing out like butter, the smell that clung to the bedding and the clothes filling you with warmth. “Next time for sure, I’ll show you. Then I won’t owe you-” you yawned, again. This time you just gave up. He definitely had given you a sedative. Unfortunately, you were too far gone to be mad. Sleeping would be nice anyway. You were so tired.

“There won’t be a next time,” Yuri told you. There was something absolute in his tone, a hard edge that wasn’t to be questioned.

“Why?” you asked, trying to clench your fists to remain lucid for a moment longer. This question was important, important enough for you to fight against your heavy and scattered thoughts. “Why do you care... so much?”

“I don’t know,” Yuri said, his voice threadbare and exposed. He really looked so tired, so beautiful. He had more masks than anyone, but right then you didn’t think that it was a mask.

He didn’t know either.

Where did that leave you?

Floating, it seemed. Lavender and milk and shadow blurred in your vision, the colors of Yuri. Your eyes fluttered shut, filled with a kaleidoscope of him. The pain was gone, you couldn’t even find the passion to argue or to be mad or afraid or upset. It was enough to be safe, to be with him, to be warm.

Tomorrow, then. Tomorrow you would get answers.

“You remind me of something I lost a long time ago,” Yuri said after a moment. It would have been too much to open your eyes or respond, so you just listened, marveling at the way his voice created the words, the way it caressed them. Had you really never noticed how delicious his voice was? You could lose yourself in it, you thought. “Something even I can’t steal for myself,” Yuri continued, “something more precious than a Heroes Relic. As long as I can preserve that, I can live with the consequences.”

You didn’t fight when he grabbed your hand from where it had fallen on the comforter, pulling it up into both of his. Yuri’s hands were rough, his fingers narrow and long and nice. They were scarred and bloodstained. They held yours gently, tenderly.

“Heh, maybe I’m a coward to tell you now. I doubt you’ll remember this by tomorrow.”

“I’ll remember,” you mumbled mindlessly, your eyes remaining closed. How could you forget this warmth? The beauty of the colors in your head, the feeling of his touch.

Yuri pressed his cheek against your hand. The skin was soft, warm. “Maybe you will. You certainly deserve my honesty. But after tonight... Maybe it’s too late to anyway. I tried so hard to protect you, even from myself.” He laughed, a humorless puff of air against your knuckles. “Especially from myself. Sometimes I can’t help but think that it’s inevitable that everything and everyone who becomes close to me will be stained by the association. I didn’t want to see that shine in your eyes become dull. This cruel, cynical world destroys everything of value, but not you.” He paused, thinking. You drifted, the words rolling over you without sticking, without meaning. His voice was so lovely. “But you’re wrong, you know,” Yuri continued after a while, pulling you back. “Things done out of love don’t have a price. You don’t owe me anything, you never have.”

Yuri’s lips brushed over your knuckles, a kiss over each ridge, before one of his hands untangled itself. You leaned into the feeling of his calloused fingertips on your warm cheek, pushing your hair out of the way as they caressed your face. Even in your vague stupor, the touch was enough to make your eyes open. Half-lidded, your sight hazy. Yuri glowed in the candlelight.

A smile tugged at the corner of his pink lips, a melancholic expression. So sad. Did he always look so sad? So beautiful? It made your heart ache, a hollow, faraway feeling.

“Hey,” he said, meeting your eyes. You attempted a smile in return, a dozing, drunken, delirious smile. “If I told you tomorrow that I loved you, would you take me as I am?” You hummed. A yes, maybe, no. He was still stroking your face, holding your hand. You couldn’t recall the last time you’d been touched like this. Not since you were a child, you didn’t think. So nice, so soft. “That’s the problem, I don’t know. And I… I don’t act unless victory is assured. If I make a move and lose you for good…” He squeezed your hand, his eyes closing. “I don’t want to lose you. Not to the whims of the cruel world and not by corrupting you with my black heart.” Your eyes closed again, his words becoming lost in your fascination with his voice. Yuri’s fingers left your cheek, returning to wrap around your hand. “Even if can never have you,” he said, a soft resolution in his voice, “it’ll be okay as long as you’re safe. And I know that you’ll be safe as long as you stay with me.”

#dimitrimidim #yuri leclerc #fe yuri #yuri leclerc x reader #fe yuri x reader #fire emblem three houses #fe3h #my writing #yandere // #yuri #yuri x reader #whoops hope y'all like this #as the kids say #yeet #uh if there's issues just pretend they're not answering the phone

[anasticep]

Why Julie and the Phantoms is a masterpiece of a show. Part 2. Heroes and Villains or Let that foil shine

NOTE: Thanks again for your kind response to Part 1. I never expected that. It being my first tumblr post and a first meta in quite a long time I was blown away. I read all the tags, some were really hilarious. About having more than one brain cell xDDD I laughed so hard. It means a lot.

NOTE2: Please remember that the gifs are made by me, so don't crop, edit or give as yours.

Part 1.

Before diving into meta, I have to mention that the Villain of the story is actually one of the best in the decade. He’s cool, evil from the start, we understand his motives and we certainly are not supposed to love and make excuses for him. The writers made sure of that. So back to the main topic.

A foil is a character who contrasts with another character; typically, a character who contrasts with the protagonist, in order to better highlight or differentiate certain qualities of the protagonist

Foils in literature are not necessarily antagonists. A friend can be a foil or sometimes even a thing, a song. Whatever can make a good and real contrast to the protagonist. But it’s not very simple to use this author’s device and not fall down a deep hole. Because you have to make sure you did just the right amount of work to make it understandable for a reader, the things you want to contrast are definitely there and still you don't waste a character. On TV it can be even harder given limited air time. And, well, I don’t come across this device being used in full very often nowadays. It’s usually good and evil fighting for the plot. That’s why I personally appreciate JaTP so much.

Caleb is clearly a foil to Luke. As much as I’d love to say that Julie also has one, that’s not entirely true, at least not this season. Carrie is not her foil though it may seem so, and I really think that’s cool as Julie’s journey is being presented through her own demons and I'm going to cover that next. That being said, of course Caleb doubles as an antagonist plotwise, but I personally consider him being written more as a contract to Luke so we could see and appreciate his character and journey better.

1. Origins

Caleb and Luke have extremely similar backgrounds. They are both natural performers. They know how to deliver, because c’mon, “Now or Never” is something and so is “The other side of Hollywood”. Stage is their natural habitat, their element, power. Although they channel this power from completely different places.

Let’s start with our little ball of energy. It’s emphasized TWICE that he doesn’t care about the money aka the physical side of art.

All Luke wants is to make music. Connect with people. He is so happy just to be heard despite him loving to perform. Making music is what makes him feel alive and basically that’s enough. I think if there was no “hologram” magic at all, Luke would have still been extremely happy to make music with and for Julie. Because that’s the way he is.

But Caleb doesn’t know that. He knows, and I’m standing by that, right away that Luke is the one to aim at. Because we always feel the similarity in people. If Luke said yes, Reggie and Alex would have followed. So Caleb recognizes the passion and shoots at them what he thinks is appealing. And, oh boy, he delivers.

“The Other Side of Hollywood” is a perfect song to emphasize Luke and Caleb being foils for each other. Follow me here:

But these lines come from very different places. For Caleb the only thing that matters is himself. He owns the show, he IS the show. It’s about being famous, drowning in applause, admiration. Look at how he performs. Confident, yes, but still very much in control. He must keep his perfect face. No flaws, no real emotions, no real connection (Did you miss ME? I did too // This band is back). Whereas Luke is simply living the best time of his life each time he performs. Is it just jamming? Bring it on. Doing fun riffs? He’s all for it. He doesn’t care how he looks (though who could deny gorgeous sweaty Luke), he owns the show just because he is a natural.

So back to the business. Caleb immediately puts the boys in his own shoes:

On the other side we live like kings // Your soulprint on the walk of fame on the boulevard of your wildest dreams // I got your glamour, got your gold, got all you’ll ever need

And, I mean, he is not that wrong. You can see the appeal on the boys’ faces. They are young, passionate, handsome, talented musicians. Of course they wouldn’t deny fame. Of course they would want all that to some extent. And Caleb is very sure he pulled the right strings.

Watch me make a move, I’m your number one choice

Also I have to mention, as we are talking about TOSOH (IKEA name again) and it being a foil for Luke, thy lyrics still don’t forget about what is important for Reggie and Alex (we’ll talk about that just a bit later):

Welcome to the brotherhood -> Reggie

Where you won’t be misunderstood -> Alex

Then again, lots of foreshadowing in the song, if you listen carefully the lyrics are stressing the true colors of the offer:

A tomb with a view

Man, what a metaphor. I would have run out of there the minute I heard this line. But our boys share one brain cell (I can’t get over how funny this is) and it’s currently taken by Julie, so I don’t blame them.

Disappointment is huge. Caleb read it all wrong. So we are moving to the next point in our Heroes and Villains essay.

2. Recruitment

It’s very cool that Caleb offers the boys to join his band right after Luke offers Julie to join Sunset Curve. They both are going out of their ways to get that (although have different budgets apparently. But look, they live in a garage). Luke made a hit with a bunch of Julie’s not very well structured lines (I love Flying Solo with all my heart as a song, but as a poem it just looks weird to me) to impress her, and we all saw the show Caleb had thrown to impress the boys. Plus food. And fancy dancing. But here is where contrast comes again.

Caleb offers to join the band, yes, but only as backup singers. It’s his show, remember? It’s only about him. He doesn’t care if they are even good. He wants their magic under control.

Share the spotlight with ME / How do you like MY new band?!

Luke offering Julie a spot in the band is a completely different story. He saw what she is capable of. He instantly knows she must be the key to a new sound, a new level. And he, a natural performer, frontman, lead guitarist, steps back and gives the spotlight to Julie. To think about it, he could have just got her magic under control by giving her simple lines, incorporating piano in the songs and that’s all. They would be visible, he would still be a center of attention, and Julie herself wouldn't mind that much. But that’s not who Luke is. Yes, there is a funny scene of “Hey, I’m your lead singer” and “you don’t have to be mean”, but it’s just messing around. Because right after that he finishes Flying Solo, writes several other songs with Julie, seeks her approval of Sunset Curve songs and basically follows her around like an adorable excited puppy.

Moving on and back to the rejection. Again the writers are mirroring them. Julie quits the band & the boys decline the offer. What does Luke do? Well, he tries the way he knows: books a gig, makes Reggie and Alex sing in perfect harmonies and does his puppy eyes thing. And it doesn’t work. And Luke goes to reflect and then probably try to come up with a plan. But something tells me he would not have haunted Julie until she joined them.

What does Caleb do after the initial rejection? Puts a cursed stamp that leaves them no choice but to join HGC. You don’t need to say more.

But in fact the more I think about it, the more I suspect Caleb also not possessing enough mental capacity for a human being. Like, if it wasn’t for Willie, how would they even know? Has Caleb planned to simply show up one day and casually explain? Look, foils in everything.

“You’re in a tough spot… So, you wanna join the band?” | “Looked like it hurt… you know where to find me”

But we sidestepped a bit.

3. Pulling the strings

After the song Caleb comes out to consolidate his success. What he does is clever and, btw, that’s the only time he becomes Julie’s foil. They are stating basically the same thing.

Again, Julie is concerned about the band and the boys, while Caleb is only concerned about having them under control. But they both are pulling basically the right strings.

What is interesting, Caleb actually impressed the wrong person (and that person is our sweet Reggie). Luke follows the string Julie pulled. Although the offer is tempting, he insists twice that they are in a band already directly to Caleb and then in Eats&Beats he says "It's like Julie said, we have a new band, a new sound». No matter what Caleb promised, Luke is not affected at all although Caleb’s offer is a very-very safe choice.

Speaking about using friends as foils, Alex and Reggie also serve as contrast characters for Luke at some points. Luke’s indifference to money is first stressed through Alex who is clearly the chief accountant for the band. His lines about not getting tips, living in a garage and «it’s a little bit about the money» are waved aside by Luke. Reggie is clearly the most affected by the whole Bobbie thing. His lines «I don’t care what Julie said, I’m glad we scared Bobbie», «So we’re gonna forget about getting back at Trevor?» are getting a clear contrast by Luke’s «It’s what Julie said, we have a new band, a new sound» and «He has to live with that guilt».

While editing the article I realised a very cool thing I haven't noticed before. How badly Luke wants to go on tour. And again that's another thing Caleb offers as if reading his mind. That's actually brilliant, to think about it.

Caleb is a VERY good reader. He tests the waters with a speech about disappearing from stage and going around the world and all dreams coming true. Still he doesn’t know the boys and especially Luke, so his phrase “no real connection” doesn’t register that much.

But he learns. Remember the lines I’ve marked before?

Reggie is afraid they will not be together after they cross over. He is in desperate need of a family. So wouldn’t it be nice to spend the rest of your afterlife with your brothers? (Reggie's main insecurity is loneliness, feel of a broken family. That's why he is the most concerned about crossing over. Will his family stay intact?)

Alex is insecure, and not being understood by the people closest to him will always hit hard. So welcome to a place where you won’t be misunderstood. And actually we know there is a guy you like and find comfort in. (Alex's insecurity is growing up in times when he could not truly be himself even with his family and for sure not believing he would ever be able to find someone meant just for him)

That mirrors the whole Luke’s beach speech perfectly. Only comparing them we can truly appreciate why Luke is the leader. He shuts down his own demons to make Alex and Reggie remember that they are not alone (“and I believe in you”. sorry. Olicity fan).

Caleb makes them suffer to get what he wants. But this time he is careful with the words aimed at Luke. Yes, he repeats his words about vanishing and applauses BUT he makes sure that his words about CONNECTION are the key words for Luke. Intense look, calming voice, touching - these are all elements of hypnosis. And Luke is in a daze. (Continuing the parents' thing, for Luke the main insecurity is not managing to connect with his mom. Maybe that's such a big thing for him: through all these people he wanted to find that connection with her)

4. The Hero’s journey

That’s the best part actually but I won’t be saying anything new or that you don’t know. Luke is made of lyrics and music. That’s his soul, heart, that’s the feeling running through his veins. He doesn’t need anything other than that in his life. Playing for eternity is “a gift no musician would ever turn down”. But he actually does turn it down. As well as his dream to go see the world with his band (is there covid in jatp universe?). He is the one who resists the hardest to the pull. Luke, who always has a guitar in his hands, doesn't want to play. Because it’s not only about the music now. He has this amazing girl in his afterlife who was willing to accept them for who they were, helped Luke battle his own demons, eased his pain and made him open up. And it doesn’t make sense any longer without her anymore. “And you’re a part of me now till eternity”.

Caleb, being Luke’s foil, completely misses the whole point of connection. It’s not in his nature. His house band are just recruits (Just so happens you’re in luck we’ve got a vacancy). For Luke his band is his family (We are the only family we ever gonna need). The Connection theme is one of the main in the show. And it’s so cool to show it focused through Luke whose best way of interaction is a touch. But not being able to touch Julie Luke has to find other ways, although it’s not that simple for him. And Julie backs that up: We connect in so many other ways. They literally touched each other's souls. Without knowing she put a stamp of her own on Luke, Alex and Reggie. They’ve never felt loved enough, appreciated enough, supported enough. They’ve only had each other. And Julie’s stamp is love. And for Luke (as well as Reggie and Alex) from now on this girl is worth dying for all over again.

_______

So yeah. I hope you enjoyed it, as I for sure enjoyed writing. There is gonna be a part 3 about Julie and a few honorable mentions of parallels of the Pilot and the Finale (I hope at least to do all that). I’ve also figured very very cool connections in the songs and I can’t wait to share.

Also as I was heavily speaking about The Other side of Hollywood, @catty-words has a wonderful meta on rain metaphors here (sorry for tagging, if you don't want to be tagged), check it out if you somehow missed it. It's super clever.

#jatp #julie and the phantoms #julie molina #luke patterson #reggie peters #alex mercer #jatp meta #jatp analysis #my gifs #my edits #don't crop #please be nice #caleb covington #ana's meta #am i smart? i am #having more brain cells then sunset curve

[papers4me]

List of Intriguing Golden Kamuy Characters: (part 1)

As I read more chapters of Golden Kamuy, the characters get more fleshed out & layers upon layers of their broken selves get explored.

A general theme: is the the changing mentality of men before, a mid & after wars. How their psyche & mind change as the brutality of war breaks them apart.This manga is very unique in presenting its characters as human with degrees of good & bad in every one of them. None of these men is innocent & naive. They’re all aware of their current position as war soldiers whether deserters, discharged or on duty. Basically it is a manga abt broken men. Asirpa, the sole female protagonist, is presented as an innocent but practical character, but will she stay the same or will the hunt for gold & the worry for Ainu future change her?

Fascinating aspect: the dynamics between characters are one of the most entertaining in anime that I’ve read! truly unique. The characters, thanks to the plot, are forced to change sides & join different groups repeatedly throughout the story & each time, I discover new brilliant dynamics!!! The humor is good with a dash of adult jokes! The deadly hotel dynamics, the circus dynamics, the trip to Abashiri, the trip to Karafatu dynamics! & more, are all well-done.

Below, I’ll write very short & general broad summary of what I find fascinating abt each character. I’ll divide them into groups.  ( contains spoilers)

1.Sugimoto's group:

Saichi Sugimoto: the protagonist. A discharged soldier. He is a troubled soul who has very low self worth despite his immense desire to stay alive. His kindness contrast his violent brutality. He kills criminals/soldiers with no mercy yet he’ll put himself in danger for those he cares for. I’m especially interested in his journey to reconcile with past self. I need for him to have a journey away from Asirpa & everybody. A self cleansing path where he accepts that perhaps it’s okay for him to not end up in Hell. His own personal issues with his past & the guilt he carries coupled with his fear that Umeko (his first love & his friend’s widow) will see the monster that he believes he’s become is highly fascinating to me! How will he deal with that? & if he were to ever meet Umeko again will she sense the past Saichi or the blood drenched Sugimoto or if there will be a different Sugimoto when the gold hunt is over? Perhaps, we won’t ever know. Perhaps letting her go & letting all his past go is part of his new journey? Can you start new while ignoring the past? I need to see Sugimoto’s own journey!

Asripa: 12 or 13 year old girl who is independent & capable to sustain herself without the need of any man. This child’s young age is especially important for the story that is full of adult  & veteran men of war as she represents the hopeful future. The future is the children who shouldn’t be plagued by their parents’ sins & desires. Her father put her in the center of danger & threw a huge burden on her. His own dream that is conveniently introduced as the salvation of her ppl. A dream that kept changing with every new step he takes, a dream that clashes with other men’s dream & for them to achieve theirs, they need Asripa who is is in the middle of it all. I want Asripa to find a path that is hers, not her father’s. Moreover, I want her to grow independently from Sugimoto whom she now considers the center of her own dream. She needs to see the world & grow up as a woman before she ties herself with others for life.

 Shiraish: A comic relief convict with unique escape skills, who in the later chapters has grown immensely without loosing his comic value! I love his growth!! & yet is to come! he’s become the rational one in the group while being super silly! Very satisfying indeed!

2.The 7th Division: (aka the most fascinating set of characters)

Tokushirō Tsurumi: One of the most well-written villains that I’ve recently come across. He’s fluid, entertaining, manipulative & fascinating. You literally can’t predict his moves or even his moods! Can’t tell if what he’s saying is truth or lie. Tsurumi is the writer’s unchained character cuz while Hijikata is tied a bit by historical reference to a real character, Asirpa to the Auni & Sugimoto as her bodyguard. The writer can simply write Tsurumi freely to fit every shape & every mold. There’s even logical reason for his mood swings & erratic behavior; he lost part of his brain in a war explosion & wears a metal plate to cover the open wound. He’s extremely clever, analytical & his schemes go along way into the past. He even molded & exploited his men to his advantage. He has a tragic background & in the later chapter was able to validly show the pros & cons of Wilk & Hijikata’s plan’s while masquerading his as the more logical one. He can be a comic relief, terrifying, genuine, cunning, loving, despicable, handsome, disgusting & above all it creeps me out how alive he seems in the chapters! he’s so animated I feel he’ll leave the manga panel & invade my space!! good stories need well-written antagonist & the writer really hit it with Tsurumi! well-done.

Hyakunosuke Ogata: Another unpredictable character. Like Tsurumi, he’s given a tragic background & just like Tsurumi as well, he makes unexcused & horrible decisions. Clearly he’s mentally unstable (a running theme in GK). Ogata, in addition to being the best sniper in the show & performing well in war, chose to add innocent victims to his list. He shot his brother & even attempted to kill Asipra, any writer will make this as simply a lunatic character, but this writer chose to tie such unexcused behavior to Ogata’s unstable psyche to show that from his own perspective; it makes sense! Afterall, it’s simply “ normal” to not ever feel guilt over killing human. His brother comes to haunt him in one of the most cinematic scenes & even plays with his mind. You’d think Ogata has gone rouge against everybody? Guess again, he’s got allies. Told you it’s hard to predict!

Genjirō Tanigaki: loved, endearing & dumb. lol. he’s simply a “shoujo girl” in a historic war manga. Tanigaki started dark, torn, filled with guilt in one of the tragic background stories, but was released from his tormented soldier persona by a convict who taught him, it is okay to start a new again. Desert the army, let go of the past & start again. he’s rewarded with a wife & a daughter but not before going on a journey with the others to showcase his manly charms & naive persona! love him.

Hajime Tsukishima: Another fascinated character that silently took me off guard with how much I cared for him! I had to go back & see where did he start! He was a background character assisting Tsurumi, then slowly became a prominent character with his own fascinating background story where you feel for him & see the depth of Tsurumi’s manipulation. I can’t even begin to explain Tsukishima mentality & psyche in this short summary! he’s got depth! that’s for sure.

Otonoshin Koito: the youngest in the division & one of the youngest men in the entire cast, but got high army rank thanks to his father & joining a military academy. You wanna know how manipulative Tsurumi is? read Koito’s background story. epic! Koito is impulsive, stubborn, inexperienced & highly skilled. He’s a bit naive at times but not dumb. He’s got amazing comic relief value tied with plot importance! His dynamics with Tsukishima & Ogata & Sugimoto are brilliant! you’ll never get bored!

Tokishige Usami : another unstable character. He shares Ogata’s belief that it’s normal to not feel guilt. Through him the writer argues that whether you come from tragic background (Ogata) or loving family (Usami), not feeling the slightest guilt over killing human is not normal. Ogata kills his mother while Usami kills his friend, both were young when they did their first innocent kill. However, unlike Ogata, Usami is very loyal to Tsurumi & obsessive of him. He’s strong, skilled, deadly & very creepy!! like very~~~~ creeeeepy~

Kōhei Nikaidō: from one of the creepiest sadistic soldiers to a sad, mentally unstable & tormented shell. He’s become such a valuable comic relief! I used to shudder when I see him, now I can’t stop laughing. Hard fall for the sadistic Nikaido! lol.

Kiktua: a new addition. So secretive & appears level headed & has good sense of morals.

Airko: another new addition: Ainu soldier. Appears naive, with high morals yet indecisive.

I could say more abt each character, but this is meant to be a summary. Each character is deep & has broken mentality that led to their decisions whether excused or unexcused. The convicts & Hijikata are next! But I had to start with Sugimoto & the 7th division! cuz that’s the main dish!

#Golden kamuy #my 1st manga! #sugimoto #tsurumi #asirpa #koito #tsukishima #Tanagiki #Usami #Shirashi #Ogata #excited paper