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achaotichuman · 10 days

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Mama's Boy

Day four of Tamlin Week! Today's prompt- Calanmai.

Tamlin is preparing for another celebration of Calanmai. As the blue is painted into his skin, Lucien asks an question that reminds him of his first time celebrating the Spring holiday.

"How was that the first time?"

Read on Ao3 or below the cut!

Laughter rang from the other side of the room, Tamlin glanced over his shoulder to see Lucien lounging on the chair in the corner of his room. One leg kicked up over the arm of the chair, Andras sitting on the window sill. Both giggling over something whilst making side-long glances at the High lord being painted in whorls of blue.

“So, Taaam.” Lucien drawled, Tamlin let out a sigh at the tone, turning his head away from the fox, which Alis and the servant boy painting him both snorted at.

“What is it now, Lucien?” Tamlin said.

“Are you excited for tonight?” He asked, the fox was clearly excited himself. Lucien had been in the Spring Court ten years now, and whilst he had seen Calanmai he had refrained from joining in on the celebrations. This year however, he had decided too.

“I’m a part of this Court now.” He said with a shrug and a smile, “I want to be there.”

Tamlin had asked repeatedly if he was sure, and all he was met with was a grin and laughter, as well as the fox nodding his head.

“Excited" is a strong word.” Tamlin answered.

Truly he wasn’t, he never was, it was a chore he had to complete, and he would. The fertility magic sparking tonight would restore the land, and that would be his job complete. He would then join in on the happy celebrations and drink himself to oblivion. Before dragging himself back to the manor and collapse wherever the nearest soft place was. Whether that be a bed or the carpet flooring.

“A night where you get to fuck whoever you want. Pretty good deal to me.” Lucien laughed, tossing Andras a smirk who returned it with glee.

“Not entirely though.” Andras said, despite the smirk on his face, “The magic chooses.”

“I heard. How does that even work?” Lucien asked.

Tamlin groaned low, not wanting to think about it just yet. He already had to experience it. Let alone explain it.

“The Forest Spirit possesses him and takes over his body. Chooses a person to generate the fertility magic with, then they make love on a stone altar while everyone dances around the fires and makes their own fertility magic.” Andras thankfully answered for him.

“They fuck on rocks?” Lucien asked incredulously.

“Yes, Lucien.” Tamlin answered deadpan, “I fuck on a rock.”

“Is it the same rock for every High lord?” Lucien asked. Tamlin groaned loudly and Alis had to step away, lest her snickering led her to messing the paint up. Not that it would be perfect for very long tonight.

“Yes, Lucien.” Tamlin answered.

“Gods.” The fox murmured, “How was that the first time? I don’t think I could fuck in the exact same place I knew my father did.” As he said the words, Lucien visibly shuddered at the thought. To which Andras cackled.

But Tamlin didn’t laugh, stuck on what Lucien said to laugh.

How was that the first time?

He was sitting in amongst the sheets, now new and clean, unscented and horribly, horrible clean. All clean, not a drop of crimson along the green thread, so clean. Not a single smell on them besides his own.

He clutched onto a pillow like it was a real person. Knees bent up and his face buried in the emerald silk. He had cried so much he started dry heaving. Heh had cried so much blood ran down his face along with his tears. Entire face red and puffy.

“Please come back.” He choked out, voice raw and gutteral, “I can’t do this. I can’t-” His voice was cut out by another sob racking through him.

There was a timid knock on the door, which Tamlin ignored in favour of sobbing harder into the tear stained fabric.

“Tamlin.” A muffled voice called out, “I’m coming in.”

“Get out!” He screamed, but Alis unlocked the door with her master key and went inside anyway.

Any other would have run when they met the High lord’s furious eyes. But Alis’ face just softened.

“I said, leave!” He shouted again, claws pricking against his fingertips.

Alis closed the door, and walked up to the bed. Tamlin shoved away, baring his teeth at her, eyes with an animalistic glint to them.

She sat on the edge, and then…

She opened her arms and whispered, “Come here baby.”

Every ounce of hatred and anger crumpled to dust. Another cry, adding to many, shook through Tamlin’s body as he lunged forward and fell into Alis’ arms. Breaking apart at the seams and shattering in her arms. Feeling like he was turning back into the little six year old who skinned his knee and ran straight to his nanny who tended to him in his mother’s absence.

“Hush now, it’s okay.” Alis whispered, running her rough hands up and down his back. Kissing the top of his head whilst he cried and cried and cried.

“I can’t do this, mom.” He whispered, “I can’t do this.”

She didn’t say anything. Alis just remained quiet and held him until he fell asleep.

When he awoke later it was too Alis shaking him, the look on her face, one of utter pity, was enough to tell him it was time.

He smudged the paint on his chest and neck when tears fell down his face as he stared at himself in the mirror. Shirtless, with low hanging trousers, only Alis painted him even thought it was customary to have two to speed up the process. He was grateful that for at least this first year it was only the woman he considered as much a mother as his actual mom.

When she finished the final brush stroke, Tamlin felt himself slipping from his own body, as if he were watching everything as a bystander. Floating away from himself, the tears stopped pouring and he looked resolutely ahead.

Alis said something he didn’t hear. When they took him out to the ritual, a crown of flowers was put on his head, and hands tried to reach out to touch him. He didn’t know when the spirit possessed him, he blacked out before it did. Whether from the sheer stress, or his own magic having pity on him, he didn’t know.

When he awoke the next morning his entire body was aching and he felt sick to his stomach. He vomited until there was nothing left in his stomach and spent the rest of the day sitting by his window, a cup of mint and honey tea in his hands that he never touched. Alis came to check on him by the hour. Always putting a hand on his shoulder, but he never looked at her, couldn’t bear to look at her.

So he just stared at the rose gardens below, at the place his mother used to take him. Used to teach him to garden, to write poems, to just walk and have fun for a little while together.

He had fulfilled his job, and he supposed it wasn’t as bad as he thought it might have been. Still he couldn’t look in the direction of the forest, without feeling the satiated spirit gazing upon its chosen King.

“-Tamlin! Spring to Tamlin!” Lucien threw his shoe at the back of his head, or tried too. Tamlin caught it in a single hand and chucked it back. It hit him in the arm, Lucien told him to go fuck himself with a laugh. Andras nearly doubled over at the scene.

Tamlin smiled at them both, then looked at Alis.

She smiled, though it was small. She put the paint brush down and cradled his face between her hands, “How you’ve grown.”

“I had the best teacher and friend a boy could ask for,” Tamlin whispered.

Tears welled in Alis’ brown eyes. She blinked them away as fast as she could, but gently pulled him down so she could kiss the top of his head, then murmured, “You will be okay.”

“I know.” He told her. He wasn’t the scared, confused, young boy he had been back then. She was right, he had grown. And whilst none of this had been his plan, he would make the most of it. He swore to himself the day he first came out of Hybern with his father, skin still burning from where she had laid hands, that he would never allow another to be enslaved. That he would fight against all tyranny, no matter whose freedom he was defending.

He had the perfect opportunity here. Maybe the Mother wasn’t so wrong in her decision. Tamlin didn’t think it would have even crossed the minds of either of his brothers to do anything of the sort.

“You ready Tam?” Andras asked, and he and Lucien stood up, the red headed male stretching out his stiff muscles.

Tamlin turned to face both of them, the last drops of the sun beginning to disappear, and the drums beginning to stir.

“Yeah. I’m ready.”

@tamlinweek

#acotar #pro tamlin #tamlin #alis acotar #lucien vanserra #andras acotar #acotar headcanons #acotar au #tamlinweek2024 #tamlinweek #day 4- prompt: calanmai

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achaotichuman · 2 months

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Ya'll remember the Dahlia fic I posted like three hours ago?

I hope you do because here is chapter 2

Link to part 1 is here.

@fell-in-luvs, @r-biter, @praetorqueenreyna

______________________________________________________________

A Field of Dahlias

When he awoke, someone was pressing a damp washcloth to his forehead. Slowly, he blinked open his eyes. Vision blurry and everything was sore.

Finally, he recognised the person above him as Alis. The female noticed him waking up and inhaled quickly before letting the washcloth rest on his head, taking his hands in hers.

She called over her shoulder, "Tell Lucien he's awake."

There was the sound of a book snapping shut as a person got up from the emerald chair in the corner of his room. Tamlin tried to lift his head to get a clue of who was sitting there, but he only managed a glimpse of pale robes before Alis pushed him back down.

"Where is Lucien?" Tamlin asked. His voice sore, barely above a whisper.

"Speaking with some courtiers, nothing to worry over." Her hands moved to hair and began to plait so as to keep her fingers busy.

"What happened?" He asked.

Alis still for a moment, then she said, "You're magic exploded, your study was the only thing affected."

"My magic exploded?" Tamlin asked, his voice even smaller.

"Yes."

"But..." I'm not supposed to use my magic, and for it to have exploded like that.

Oh no.

Oh god no.

At that moment Lucien walked in.

The red head was beside the bed in seconds. A hand went to Tamlin's shoulder, "Hey, you're up."

"Yeah." Tamlin replied.

"Still weak, but awake." Alis said, taking away the washcloth from his head and sliding off the bed.

"How are you feeling?" Lucien asked.

"Awful." Tamlin snapped.

Lucien gave him a soft smile that didn't reach his worried eyes, "Figures."

"Here." Alis said, and she helped him to slowly sit up.

The second he was upright, all the blood in his brain rushed out. Dizziness overtook and his face went frightfully pale.

Alis reacted faster than Lucien and grabbed a bucket beside the bed.

Tamlin vomited until he was dry heaving. Alis' rough hands pulled back his hair and Lucien immediately moved to rub his back. Tamlin however pushed him back.

When his body finally relented, Tamlin slumped back, breathing heavily and staring at the ceiling.

Alis took the mess away with a murmur that she would be back soon. Lucien nodded to her while Tamlin closed his eyes and tried to catch his breath.

When the door clicked shut, Lucien broke the silence, "Well this has been a hectic day."

"You think." Tamlin rasped.

"Yeah I do. And I think it has been made worse by the fact we have not addressed all that need addressing."

"Lucien-" Tamlin groaned.

"No, if you won't talk about it Tamlin, then I will. Like it or not, you are pregnant, it is Feyre's. Feyre is now the God's know where in Night with that monster-"

Feyre in that fabric that couldn't be called clothes. In Rhysand's grasp. Painted and being touched while drugged flashed through his mind.

"Feyre-!" Tamlin shot up and wen to rush out of bed.

Lucien grabbed and pulled him right back, "Enough, Tamlin!"

"But she-" Tamlin would bite him if he needed to.

"She is Night because of a bargain she made when she was warned not to."

"He coerced her into it." Tamlin seethed, he knew, Feyre had said when he quested the bargain mark. How Rhysand had twisted her arm when she initially refused it.

"I know." Lucien said, worry shining in his eyes, "But it is still bargain magic and until the week is up, we won't know where she is."

"If," Tamlin's voice was like thunder, "She is still there a second after the seventh day ends, I am storming the Night Court."

"I don't doubt it." Lucien murmured, "In the meantime, we have another issue."

Just like that, the fear writhed in him again, "My magic exploded-"

"Heilda gave you a check over whilst you slept. We got lucky."

Mother above, he nearly thanked the Gods.

"But-" Lucien said sternly.

Tamlin already knew what he was going to say.

"She doesn't just recommend female because its more comfortable, it's also safer Tamlin. So-"

"I know." Tamlin whispered.

Lucien's hand travelled along the soft sheets, then gently covered Tamlin's.

"This is shitty." Lucien said.

Tamlin huffed a laugh, "Yeah."

A heartbeat of silence passed and Lucien eventually asked, "Do you want to try shifting?"

Tamlin sighed, "Yeah."

"Okay do you need me to leave-?"

In a second his clothes were ever so slightly baggier around his waist. The fabric around his chest constricted and his jaw became just slightly less defined. Small changes, but enough to mark him as something else.

Thank Gods for him that he retained most of his muscles. Eyes, wider now, looked up to Lucien.

The Fox was blushing furiously and it made Tamlin bite his lip not to laugh.

"How- you-"

Tamlin shrugged, "I base it off what my body already looks like."

"Mhm." Lucien's cheeks were flushed a rosy red, "I didn't realise it was so easy."

Tamlin laughed, voice with a slightly higher pitch. Toned differently enough for anyone to notice a change, "It doesn't sound like it would be."

"No it doesn't." Lucien murmured, then he cleared his throat.

Tamlin picked at the buttons of his shirt, pulling too tight to be comfortable. Lucien noticed and quickly asked, "Do you want a different set of clothes."

Tamlin was still in the clothes he would have been married in. Jacket and waistcoat gone. But still in his trousers and white shirt. His heart throbbed.

"Yeah."

Lucien nodded but before he could leave the bed, there was a rapping against the door.

"Come in!" Tamlin called out.

"Just as I thought." A female said as she opened the door, "Different voice means you've already shifted?"

Ianthe peeked through the crack in the door, not stepping through the threshold. One of her vows of purity. To not step under the roof of a room with only a male.

She looked him up and down, "I was correct then."

Without another word she tossed some clothes into the bedroom, they hit the bed. Tamlin lifted an eyebrow in confusion.

"Clothing." She said, as if it were not obvious.

"I won't be wearing Priestess robes." Tamlin said with a slight tilt to his lips.

"I would be offended if you were." Ianthe retorted, "Change and once you two have your heart to heart there is someone who wants to see the two of you."

"Who?" Lucien asked.

"Hurry up and you'll see." Ianthe told him flippantly. Then she closed the door.

Lucien rolled his eyes hard enough Tamlin thought they might get stuck in the back of his head.

"Must she be sarcastic as well as insufferable."

"Wouldn't be Ianthe otherwise." Was all Tamlin replied with as he moved to grab the clothes, she had tossed him.

Not her clothing, certainly not, the Priestess. Specifically, the High Priestesses, swore their virginity to the Mother. Which included a myriad of rules that Tamlin had never paid attention to learning. His mother had always scolded him for not being as studious as he should've been.

He didn't recognise the clothes and they smelled unused. How long had he been out that she had been able to go out and buy new clothing?

"I wonder who could be here-" Lucien started. Then cut himself off sharply as Tamlin unbuttoned his shirt.

"Tam-Tamlin!" Lucien quickly swivelled his head away, staring adamantly at the wall opposite to Tamlin.

Tamlin breathed in deeply as he still adjusted to the new weight on his chest. Strange and new despite him having worn it before.

He didn't purposely altar anything. His body was as it was if he had been biologically born a female. Risking alterations risked unnecessary magic and in turn unnecessary risk.

But it seemed he had inherited his mother's figure. Which was a pain in multiple ways. Including the back it was bound to cause his back.

"Mother above." Tamlin mumbled as he stretched his arms.

Lucien was very still, arms crossed, and eyes pinned to the wall. Tamlin watched him from the corner of his eye as he pulled on the thin blue knit top Ianthe had given him. It was fairly loose but tight enough that his figure was highlighted. Then he began to undo his trousers.

"Have you never seen a female's body before, Lucien?" Tamlin teased as he pulled his trousers down over his hips.

"I have-!" Lucien's gaze swiftly turned back at the implied insult, but he yelped and turned back away.

Tamlin rolled his eyes and quickly pulled on the new grey wool pants.

"You are free to look now." Tamlin said.

Lucien breathed out through his nose then turned back around. He nodded once then furrowed his brow.

"What?" Tamlin asked.

Lucien stammered for a moment before gesturing to Tamlin's chest. Tamlin nearly laughed.

"They're called tits, Lucien."

"I know- Mother above Tamlin." Lucien huffed, "I mean don't females usually wear.... undergarments for their breasts."

"Oh... yeah." That may possibly be helpful.

There was silence for a moment, then Tamlin asked, "Where do we get one of those?"

"How am I supposed to know?"

"I don't know Lucien, you're out with girls all the time."

"I don't go shopping with them." Lucien said scrunching his face.

Tamlin sighed, then he slid off the bed, "Well I have to go ask Alis an uncomfortable question. Join me?"

"And watch you stammer as you try to ask, of course." Lucien replied, quickly following after him.

Tamlin laughed and felt like maybe this would be okay.

Alis had been lurking just in a room down the hall. Giving some order to the new maids who had been hired. Lucien had walked in first, Tamlin, suddenly insecure of his new form, had hidden behind him. Hands itching to hold onto the back of his shirt, but he already first embarrassed enough as it was.

When Alis saw them, she quickly straightened and told the girls to shoo. They scattered off with a 'Yes miss,' and a curtsey to the Lords.

Tamlin did not enjoy how they looked at him confused and hesitantly said 'My lady.' He did not refute them though.

Once they were gone, Tamlin appeared before Alis more fully and began by saying, "So Alis-"

"This is going to be about bras I'm guessing." Alis said, with one hand on her hip.

Tamlin blinked, "How did you-"

Alis gestured to his chest, then raised an eyebrow, "You have your mother's form. You can borrow some of hers until we can have some made for you."

"Oh please God no-"

"You have an important guest waiting for you in your office, so you will suck it up, sweetheart." Alis said kindly before leading him back in the direction of his bedroom, Lucien trailing behind.

"Who is this important guest?" Tamlin asked.

Alis hesitated for a moment, before ultimately saying, "You will see."

Lucien quickly leaned in a said, "I told you Ianthe is contagious."

Tamlin stifled a laugh as Alis dragged him back into his room. When Lucien attempted to follow in, Alis shut the door in his face.

"Sorry Lucien!" She called out.

"No problem!" Lucien called back, "I'll wait here!"

Quickly Alis went over to Tamlin's wardrobe and rifled through for a single box. His mother's possessions which had been cleaned and put away for safe keeping. She eventually looked back up at him.

"Do you like red?" She asked sweetly.

"I am going to get a very uncomfortable reality of what my mother went through aren't I?"

"Yes, sweetheart, you are."

***

After Alis finally taught him how the clasps worked, making more than one comment about Feyre must have had to undo all her own bras as he was hopeless. They walked back out.

True to his word. Lucien was leaning against the wall opposite of the door, fiddling with his nails. As soon as the door opened and Tamlin stepped out, the Fox looked him over. Cheeks flushing red again, but he nodded, then jutted his head in the general direction of his office.

"Shall we?" Lucien asked.

"We don't have another choice." Tamlin mumbled.

Alis told them she would be getting back to work. Then murmured a good luck, which didn't give Tamlin much hope.

As they walked the halls, Lucien said, "You look good."

"Thanks, enjoy it while it lasts." He knew the effects of pregnancy were many. And many he was not looking forward to.

Lucien lightly knocked Tamlin's shoulder with his own, "We'll handle everything as it comes."

Tamlin nodded but he couldn't shake the utter worry festering in him.

Finally, they made it to the closed wood door of his office. Lucien and Tamlin stopped before it. Sharing a look. Tamlin nodded once and Lucien opened the door.

Tamlin didn't know what he was expecting. A monster maybe, Amarantha back from the dead. Hybern himself.

But his mind never conjured the idea of Eris Vanserra sitting in his chair. Legs kicked up on his desk, mindlessly playing with one of his pens.

"Finally!" Eris exclaimed, "Someone deigns to meet me."

Lucien had gone awfully still in front of him. Eris met his eyes, having not seen Tamlin behind him yet, "Brother, I thought your High lord would come himself, but I can always discuss matters with you. You were always quite intelligent."

"Eris." Lucien growled.

"Easy boy." Eris told him. Voice mocking, "I will not bite... nor burn."

"What are you doing here?" Lucien asked, his voice was a low and harsh. His hand twitched like the youngest Vanserra would like for nothing more than to burn his eldest brother to death.

"Is it not obvious? I came to see my dear old friend Tam-"

As Eris spoke, Tamlin stepped out from behind Lucien.

"-lin.... Interesting." Eris mused, a lazy grin spreading across his feline face as he laid further back into Tamlin's chair.

"Vanserra, kindly get the fuck out of my chair."

After another careful once-over of Tamlin's new form, he said, "But the view from here if quite spectacular."

A smile spread on Tamlin's face, "Then come over here and you may see it better."

"Well, if you insist." Eris said as he easily stood without faltering and walked around the desk.

In a second Lucien's arm shot out, but Eris tsked, "Such behaviour, littlest brother. I am sure Tamlin is fully capable."

"I trust you, Eris, as far as I can throw you. Which we can both assume would not be very far."

"Right." Eris drawled, side-eying his brother.

"Enough sibling rivalry. Hello Eris." Tamlin said with a grin.

Eris turned his attention to his friend, the friend he'd had for four centuries, "Hello Tamlin."

Lucien blinked. Tamlin just nodded to him, and the Fox glared but moved his hand away.

"What do you need?" Tamlin asked, as long as he had been friends with Eris, he knew this was male never came around for just a friendly check in.

"Heard on the grapevine that a certain bride ran off with teh High lord of Night. Decided to come around and see what all the fuss was."

Tamlin blinked, then he looked at Lucien who was scowling.

If word had already reached Eris... How long had he been out for?

"Lucien how long was I asleep?" Tamlin asked.

Lucien pursed his lips, then he turned to Tamlin and slowly said, "About a day and a half."

Tamlin gaped. He forced his way past Eris, who despicably was taller than him whilst he was female form. He looked out the large window behind his desk and saw that the sun was indeed high in the sky.

"It's tomorrow?!" Tamlin seethed.

"I didn't want to worry you so soon after you woke up." Lucien said gently.

"It would have been helpful to know it was tomorrow!"

That meant Feyre had already been in the Night Court for a day and a half. Rhysand doing the Gods knew what to her-

"Mother above." Tamlin felt sick.

"Okay." Lucien hummed, he quickly walked over and took Tamlin's hands. Leading him to the green lounge. Slowly letting him sink into the soft pillows, "Breathe Tamlin."

Tamlin wanted to snap, but even breathing was becoming difficult.

"What is going on?" Eris asked, concern bleeding into his words.

Lucien looked between Eris and Tamlin, then leaned into whisper, "Do you wish to tell him?"

"Tell me what?" Eris stepped forward.

"Eris-!" Lucien stood up, looking as though he would physically remove Eris from the office himself, but Tamlin caught his hand.

"It's fine Lucien, he can know."

"Are you sure?" Lucien asked.

Tamlin nodded, then turned to look at Eris who was standing with his arm crossed and eyebrow raised.

He looked so smug, the one joy Tamlin could find was he about to knock that away.

"Eris I'm pregnant."

Eris' furrowed his brow.

A heartbeat passed, and the news sunk in.

The first son of Autumn's face dropped. His mouth fell open, his eyes widened so most of his whites showed. He quickly put the back of his hand over his mouth as he processed it.

"What?" Eris managed to choke out.

In any other situation, Tamlin would have laughed at how the snarky Prince was finally speechless. Right now all he wished to do was cry.

"Yes." His voice nearly cracked. But he swallowed hard and held his head high.

"So that's why..." Eris made a gesture to his body and Tamlin wanted to curl up and away from sight.

"Yes." Tamlin said in a far quieter voice to keep the shaking out of his voice.

"Oh... shit. But Feyre-"

"Is also a shapeshifter," Lucien said.

Eris looked between Lucien and Tamlin. Occasionally opening his mouth to say something but ultimately choosing not to.

Then he sat down on the lounge beside Tamlin, eyes blinking, and face still caught in shock, "Well... fuck."

"That was the beginning of the problem." Tamlin said.

Lucien and Eris chuckled suddenly at Tamlin's attempt at a joke.

Then the room fell silent again.

Now that it was out and open, Tamlin couldn't deny it any longer.

A baby.

He was having a baby.

And his fiancé was in the Night Court. Completely unknowing.

And he was here.

Tears pressed into his eyes and Tamlin was finally unable to stop them.

"Oh, love." Lucien whispered. Collecting Tamlin in his arms.

At the warmth, the love in his embrace. Tamlin was utterly helpless. He cried into his chest, unable to hold it back any longer.

A warm hand that wasn't Lucien's rubbed up and down his back.

"I'll murder Rhysand." Eris hissed under his breath.

Lucien drew in a breath, "Let's just start with handling this week."

***

The week itself ended quicker than Tamlin thought it would. Eris couldn't stay for longer than the rest of the day, but he promised to return again later.

As for Tamlin, he cried a lot that week. He also broke more than one vase after a nightmare of seeing Feyre underneath Rhysand, screaming for help-

Lucien held him a lot that week. Tamlin hated how dependant he felt on his touch, on his arms around him. Alis had been as open as she could, but even she was busy with training the new hires. And the most comfort Ianthe was physically capable of providing anybody was an awkward pat on the shoulder.

More than once Lucien and Tamlin wound up in the library. Curled up on a cushioned seat made for one. The fire roaring the manor asleep.

Tamlin had often tucked his face into Lucien's neck, whilst Lucien held him in his arms. Whispering sweet nothings in his ear to calm him.

It had been a nice reprieve from the stress. But nothing could put aside the fear he held that at the end of the week Feyre wouldn't be back.

But she was.

And something was very, very different.

Tamlin's first fear was that Rhysand had laid hands on her. But spoke little of what had happened during the week.

"Anything, anything you learned, anything they told you." Lucien said, as Feyre glared at him from her seat.

Her eyes were colder, her gaze piercing. She shook her head, "They told me nothing of value. I just stayed in his palace until the weeks end."

Tamlin nodded, finding comfort in that least, "He didn't touch you?"

Feyre shook her head and Tamlin wanted to thank the Mother.

"That's good."

At least they had that reassurance.

But why collect her now?

What game are you playing Rhysand?

***

"Feyre! Thank the Mother and Cauldron and every holy item in her trove!" Ianthe exclaimed as the taller female wrapped the Cursebreaker in a hug hard enough to crush.

The air whooshed from Feyre's lungs and she gasped. But her shock overode the pain. Ianthe was hugging her. Being physically affectionate.

That was... a first.

Then she quickly pulled back and cupped Feyre's face, moving her head back and forth as she inspected the younger woman for injuries of any kind.

"The Mother will wreak havoc on that male if he has harmed you. He never touched you, did he?" She asked quickly.

Feyre shook her head. "No Ianthe, he did nothing to me."

"Oh, the Mother is kind and merciful." Ianthe then pulled her into another embrace.

"Ianthe you- can't breathe."

"Oh, oh no." Ianthe quickly released her, "Sorry."

Feyre took in a breath and rubbed her sore ribs, "It's fine, really."

Ianthe nodded, then she scowled at her clothes, "Come flower, we'll get these atrocious fabrics off of you."

As much as Feyre wished to snap they were not atrocious, that she had learned to love the clothing she was in. That she didn't want to put on the clothes of Spring, but she nodded and silently allowed Ianthe to lead her back inside.

Tamlin she saw next. Her initial reaction was shock because of who she saw standing in place of the normally broad hunter-like male.

She saw Tamlin, in the same female form he had been in the night they shared together several months ago. A loose green silk dress adorned his figure, curving around his full breasts and slightly smaller waist. He was slightly shorter but still much taller than Feyre. Now Ianthe's height. Though Ianthe could not be called a short woman at all.

"Feyre." He breathed, before rushing to pull her into hsi arms.

Feyre let him, not knowing why the usual passion she felt for him was missing.

***

The Tithe came and Tamlin was sick several times before it began. Lucien stayed with him in the bathroom for over half an hour just holding back his hair and rubbing his back.

By the time he had to make an appearance he felt like going to sleep for a thousand years. He was tired and so, so fucking sick of it all.

"Are you sure you're well enough to do this?"

"Not at all." Tamlin said.

He was nowhere near well enough to do this, but life wasn't fair especially to him. So, he sucked it up but on a fake smile and walked out into the throne room where Feyre was already waiting with Ianthe. The two were talking about something or other and the conversation halted as he entered, and the Tithe began.

It was nearly as disastrous as the wedding. Ending with once again Feyre storming out.

Tamlin knew what it must've looked like to her. He himself nearly felt bad for the Faery, but he also knew they had found their way here from Summer during the fifty years and had never participated in the Tithe before. He already had the complaint that they didn't want to.

But until the treasures were at least partially recovered from Under the Mountain, and trade was back and running through the Courts. They needed the Tithe.

It was one thing that Feyre said that pissed him off enough that he didn't go after her himself.

"We already have enough jewels."

As if the Tither's collections were for him. As if most, if not all of it went into the salaries for his staff, housing for his people, the workers and the farmers supplies and defences for Spring.

Tamlin had stormed back to his room. It didn't help that he felt fucking useless, helpless, in this form. In a delicate state he couldn't risk too much.

Worst of all he hated the way he now had to dress in it to appear proper. He hated the way his body looked. And he hated knowing how the baby would ruin how he looked.

For years his body had been the one thing in his life had control of. Then Amarantha had forced him and his Court Under the Mountain and his body too was stripped from him.

Eyes roaming exposed skin, taking what didn't belong to it-

He just got his body back and now it was taken again. Now the love of his life was being taken from him a week a month.

Tamlin stormed to his room and locked the door. He then ran to his bed, grabbed the nearest pillow and screamed into it. He pulled back inhaled then screamed into again.

Then he threw the pillow to the floor like it was personally responsible for years of agony.

He wanted to destroy the entire room. Feel the thrill of shredding fabric and breaking furniture under his claws.

But he was fucking tired.

He collapsed onto his bed, grabbed another pillow and screamed into that as well. Before tossing it across the room, it hit the wall with a thud.

Tamlin closed his eyes, and for a brief moment, he hoped he never opened them.

There was a knock at his door.

"Go away!" Tamlin shouted.

"I wasn't going to come in." Ianthe answered, "I just wanted to tell you Feyre is safe in her room, but Rhysand will be collecting her tomorrow."

Oh shit.

Fuck no-

Tamlin sat up straight, but Ianthe called out, "Before you come rushing out this is a hallway with two closed doors at either end and no other women are here so let me leave first."

Tamlin huffed but sat back down, Ianthe then said, "She also doesn't want to see you, but I believe Lucien is waiting in the library."

Tamlin wanted to ask why he should care if Lucien was waiting in the library, but her heard her footsteps leaving and the door of the hallway opening and closing.

"Mother help me." Tamlin mumbled as he stood up and finally left.

He passed Feyre's room and at first his body screamed top open the door and see her. But Ianthe's warning came to mind. He sighed but left it alone.

Lucien was in fact in the library. Sprawled across the sae chair they had spent the week curled up together in. He was deeply entrenched in what he was reading. But he looked up at the sound of Tamlin's footsteps.

Lucien smiled, putting his book down he opened his arms, "Come here, baby."

"Fuck." Tamlin whispered under his breath before rushing to Lucien and falling into his arms, sobbing relentlessly into his dhoulder.

"I'm so fucking pathetic." He cried.

"No you're not, Tam, no you're not." Lucine murmured.

"I can't even protect the one person I'm supposed to protect."

"I know, Tam, I know." Lucien kept him wrapped in his warm arms. They stayed holding each other for hours, until Tamlin ran out of tears and fell into exhaustion, finally sleeping, despite the slightly awkward position.

At some point after Tamlin had fallen asleep someone knocked on the threshold and Lucien looked up to see Alis at the door, and behind her was Eris.

The eldest Vanserra walked in, needing no further introduction from Alis, who just nodded to Lucien before slipping away.

Eris sat in a lounge next to Lucien, simply saying, "I'll stay with him this week when you can't."

"Why do you care?" Lucien asked.

"Because he would do the same for me."

***

The week came and went. Same as ever. Except that this time Eris did stay.

As much as Tamlin just wanted to sleep for a week and wake up whenever Feyre was back, he was a High lord and lately one thing stood on the forefront of his mind. The bargain Feyre had made.

Books upon books were open on his desk. Scattered across the ground, papers scrunched littered the floor. Eris was sitting in the green lounge, also flipping through the old books they had taken from the library.

"Nothing." Eris stated, letting the book nag onto the coffee table.

"Could you at least try to be helpful?" Tamlin growled, though it did not sound the same in his female form it was just as intimidating. Though Eris, as per usual, was not impressed.

"I'd much rather be a nuisance." Eris said deadpan. Tamlin rolled his eyes.

"Gods above." Tamlin cursed.

Was there no way out of this?

Here is the link to chapter three!

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