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sailorhyunjinz · 3 years

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~ 𝐐𝐮𝐢𝐞𝐭 ~

𝘞𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 ; Chan x fem!reader, slight choking, piv, unprotected sex (wrap it bitch), exhibitionism, clitoral stimulation, fingering, nicknames, thigh,,, rubbing?, nipple play, dirty talk, cum, orgasm (m/f), getting caught oop.

𝘞𝘰𝘳𝘥 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵 ; 2,4 k

𝘙𝘦𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘥 ; yes yes!! thank you anon!! this is my last request as well heh

𝘕𝘰𝘵𝘦 ; another song that is very dear to my heart,,, although for a kinda sad reason but we wont get into that lmao-

also i laughed while writing this because idk some of the descriptions are like,,, SO FUCKING WEIRD I DONT KNOW WHAT THIS IS

23. “Should I be quiet?” ; The Neighbourhood - Nervous

𝘊𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘩𝘦𝘥 𝘣𝘦𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘥.

𝘗𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘵 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘪𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘳𝘦 𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘢𝘨𝘦 𝘰𝘧 18.

The small room was rather dark, only the moonlight reflecting it’s light through the window as the four walls were filled with small snores and the occasional turning of the blankets. That wasn’t coming from just your boyfriend that lied next to you in a peaceful slumber but the three other boys that had passed out in the room after watching a movie. You sighed, this wasn’t the most appropriate time to be needy but there was nothing you could do about it. No matter how much you turned and twisted the lewd thoughts stuck to your head like gum to the sole of a shoe.

You looked at Chan, his slow breath tickled against your face, his face slightly puffy from all the snacks he ate before bed, his cheek squished against the pillow and you felt bad for thinking such sinful thoughts about him when he was right beside you. You scooted closer to him, unknowingly rubbing against his thigh and not letting your eyes divert from his face for even a split second, heart thumping at the thought that he could wake up at any moment. You let out a tiny whimper, biting your lip and coating it with a sheen of saliva, your face and ears heating up as the gain of friction between your clothed dripping cunt and his bare thigh got to you. Waking him up would just be mean, he worked so hard during the day so surely he deserved a good nights rest but at the same time,,, maybe he needed a way to relieve his stress?

The sensation was just too good, you quickly stripped yourself from your pyjama pants, leaving you in Chan’s oversized shirt and your soaking panties that were sticking to your wet folds, a little patch of slick staining them. Before you knew it you were back to humping his leg like a desperate puppy, just a little longer and then you’ll stop and sleep like you were supposed to. Wrapping your arms around his torso you rolled your hips upwards, trying to aim all the pleasure towards your clit but not really succeeding, however it did still feel good, the bundle of nerves aching for more, aching for a touch. Frustration built up inside you as you could practically hear your heart beating in your ears from nervousness and arousal, you really didn’t want to wake him up.

“Please fuck me Channie~" you whispered weakly, hoping he didn’t hear it or anyone else in that room for that matter. You held one hand over your mouth as the pleasure got too intense, movements getting bolder as you grinded against his relaxed thigh, moving your hips from side to side sometimes and squirming around, your forehead creased, muscles on edge. Maybe the thrill turned you on even more? And even if this was good enough you craved more, maybe you wanted more thrill. You halted your movements before you poked him on the shoulder but got no response, him lying as still as a log, only his chest rising slowly, lungs filling with air. You sighed, there was no use you thought until he grunted lowly, stretching his arms and furrowing his eyebrows, you hurried to turn around, back against him as you shut your eyes tightly, pretending to sleep.

“Baby?” he said in a deep raspy voice, confused as to what your whimpers from earlier were coming from.

“Y-yeah?” you whispered back, turning back to him and acting sleepy, eyes half-closed. He chuckled slightly and you heightened your eyebrows in perplexity, wondering what he was smiling about.

“You know I heard everything?” he said, eyes still closed as he mumbled, his sly smirk still on his lifeless lips. Your eyes widened, your figure froze in shock, with a fake laugh you tried to cover up the situation.

“H-heard what? Did something happen?” you lied, caught off guard by his answer.

“I don’t know,,, all I heard was someone asking to fuck me” he said, almost bursting into laughter as he opened his eyes slowly, seeing your priceless expression. You shy away from him, wanting to sink under the surface of the earth but just as you wanted to turn around and forget about every single thought in your mind you felt his warm hands traveling from your clothed chest to your abdomen and ultimately your cunt, hand slipping under the elastic band of your panties with fingers that inspect the soppiness between your legs. You moan at the sudden contact, pressing your thighs together.

“Shh,,, easy now, you’re so wet, hm? What were you thinking about?” he says lowly close to your ear, hot breath bouncing off the shell of your ear. You scrunch your nose at the ticklish feeling, lifting your shoulder up to your ear and giggling slightly. Chan gives you a peck on the lips before his fingers explore more of your needy sex, his familliar hands lightly grazing your already swollen clit. He rubbed the bud in small circles with two fingers, your hands going down underneath the covers and grabbing his wrist as the speed increased, your breath hitching at the sensation that returned, the start of a deep feeling inside your core.

“e-ehm,,, was thinking about,,, you making me feel good” you whimpered out, too shy to say anything more, your hair covering your face slightly from the way you squirmed around, the bed creaking occasionally.

“Making you feel good? How did I do that?” he said with that grin on his face as if he didn’t know anything, sounding completely innocent despite the scandalous actions that were going on underneath the thin fabric of your panties. You let go of his wrist as he inserted two fingers into your hole, prodding them at your entrance and feeling you clench. It was time to get revenge, he couldn’t just gain pleasure from seeing you weak for him and so your hand gently palmed him through his underwear, earning an unexpected grunt from the boy.

“w-with your dick” you answered to his question in lack of any other answer. His hips bucked against your hand, begging for more with his body and you complied, giving his cock a firm squeeze, moving your hands up from the base towards the tip, teasing it with your thumb. He was becoming rock solid in your hand, cock twitching in your grasp. You giggled, you weren’t the only needy one now.

“Ah yeah? You sure you want to do this here babygirl?” he whispered back to you to which you nodded, his fingers plunging into your hole and curling up towards your g-spot, a well-known sensation spreading throughout your body, his slick-covered fingers playing with your clit again until your squirmed as he touched it directly causing you to flinch. He got on top of you, hovering mere inches from your face and after a long look into your lost moonlit eyes he attached his lips on yours, exhaling unsteadily as your tongues met almost immediately in a romantic daze. Your noses bumped against each other, Chan chuckling momentarily before setting an even pace with his tongue, your small whimpers blending into the sound of lips smacking against each other. Your hands that were previously cupping his cheeks descended down his chest, tugging on the thick band of his boxers but your arms not reaching far enough to pull them off. Your boyfriend smirked, breaking the kiss and moving away from you in order to strip himself from his underwear, leaving him completely exposed to you before he got on top of you again, pulling the covers over him. Before anything else happened you quickly shimmied out of your soaked panties, Chan’s hands lifting up your shirt, exposing the supple valleys of your tits, his hands fondling your boobs right away, thumbs swiping over the already erect nipples. It felt oddly naughty to be doing this with three other boys in the room, being almost completely naked with Chan above you, his lips exploring your neck, leaving small kisses and marks as he nibbled on the skin. You whimpered, your hands tangled in his dark hair as you turned your head to the other side, granting him more access. He got even more worked up by your small sounds that dripped from your lips like sticky sweet honey, you wrapping your legs around his waist causing the base of his cock to press up against your hot cunt, pressing him closer to you because you were hungry for more, the slightest contact would do. Chan left a final kiss on your lips before grabbing the base of his cock and lining it up with your sopping entrance, pushing a strand of hair out of your face and tucking it behind your ear.

“a-are you ready, angel?” he murmured close to you, you humming a small yes as the tip of his cock glided against your wet folds, pushing in gently as you pressed your lips together, furrowing your eyebrows at the initial stretch, your tight cunt enveloping his cock between your velvety walls. He groaned at the feeling, pushing into you further and eventually bottoming out, now balls deep into your aching pussy. Your arms were around his head as he started to suck on your nipples, gently rolling his hips after you’ve adjusted to his size, no matter how much he fucked you, his size never failed to fill you up to the brim, making you scratch his back and leave it covered in red streaks.

“fuck,, you feel so good” you moaned a bit too loud, Chan looked up at you in panic, you slapping a hand over your mouth as you peeked at the boys that lied on a pile of cuddles close to you.

“should I be quiet?” you whispered to which Chan nodded.

“what kind of question is that? of course” he whispered back through a clenched jaw, his hips slamming into you faster and harder for each minute. You tried biting the inside of your cheek, your entire body jolting upwards and making the bed creek with every thrust, it was simply impossible to be quiet and neither could Chan that was slowly but surely losing his own pace, a vein on his neck popping out from the composure that was needed to keep quiet. He glanced at the boys that were lying completely still, only a small snore from one of them. You turned your head to the other side, your neck being exposed to him once again, his hand automatically wrapping around your neck snuggly, making the situation a thousand times hotter. Being choked and fucked by your hot boyfriend next to a pile of his friends? Hot.

The mattress moved as he thrusted into you, a slight squelching sound of your dripping cunt being audible to the two of you. You tried holding on to anything in your reach but finally settled for Chan’s back, digging your nails into his skin as you panted, sweat beading on his temples as his thrusts were getting harder, your tits bouncing in the same pace.

“f-fuck, you drive me crazy y/n” he said, tightning the grasp around neck, you pressing the back of your head against the pillow as you clenched around him, a feeling burning in the pit of your core that was only getting closer.

“Channie~ I love you” you whispered, clenching your teeth causing your words to sound almost violent but you meant it in the most loving way possible, he was yours and you were his. He chuckled silently, you seeing the outline of his soft facial features in the dimly lit room, he whispered it back to you, bending down and rubbing the tip of his nose against your sleepy cheeks before pressing a wet kiss near your ear, his hips repeatedly slamming against you and knocking the breath out of you. Your lips parted, a string of whispered pleas escaping them as you clawed at his back, clenching vigoursly and arching your back as your orgasm washed over you uncontrollably, knocking you completely dumb. There was something incredibly hot in seeing your scrunched erotic expression that sent Chan over the edge, your whimpers that were only getting louder and louder being the most beautiful sound in the earth to his ears. His thrusts got sloppier and uneven, pinning your legs to the bed and spreading them further causing you to squirm at the new aim he got, hitting that spot that almost hurt in overstimulation. Being quiet was completely thrown out the window.

He pulled out of your hole, his cock glistening as he grabbed onto the shaft, stroking himself to completion. The hot cum spurted against your boobs in white ribbons, dripping down your heaving chest as you tried to stabilize your breath, your hands by either side of your head. He groaned as he milked himself from every ounce of cum, the angelic view of his lover being covered in his cum almost made him hard again. All energy was consumed from the sweaty boy that plopped down beside you, the weight of the bed shifting as he lied down next to you, grabbing a pillow that had somehow fallen off the bed during the recent activities. He turned to you, you turned your head towards him and smiled before pressing a kiss on his lips, really not wanting to get up and clean up after his mess. You snuggled closer but were caught off guard when you heard a voice behind you.

“yah,,, Chan can really put it down” Changbin said in a deep voice, both you and Chan bolting up and watching the three boys that looked like they were still in a nice slumber.

“you awake?” you asked, thinking that maybe Changbin talked in his sleep.

“we were all awake because how the fuck do you sleep when someone is moaning into your ear” Felix answered, still facing away from you, slurring his words, his mind still not functioning despite being conscious. You thought your heart sunk, in panic turning to Chan that was just as surprised as you, his ears turning bright red, despite it being so dark in the room you could still see how the skin tinged a pretty color of embarrassment.

“I can’t wait until Hyunjin hears this tomorrow” Jeongin laughed, the other two boys joining in with his laughter, their eyes still closed and faces covered in sleepiness.

That was the price of had to pay when having sex with your boyfriend beside his dormmates.

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scarofthewind · 3 years

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Ok since my man doesn't get a lot of recognize in the horror community how about headcanon with being pregnant with bughuuls kids also i love how u write for him and all the rest of the slashers 💗💕

A/N: OMG I love that you requested him! Literally my whole ask box is 98% Michael and it’s good that I get a break from him every few asks. Hope you enjoy! I kind of got carried away because I love Bughuul so....my bad.

Warnigns: Breastfeeding, mentions of nudity

word count: 1.08k

You paused in your movements as you felt another kick from inside your swollen belly, a small smile gracing your lips as you sat back down in your chair. You sat by a large window in the library, watching some kids come and go, some asking for you to read to them and who were you to decline? However, at the moment, your eyes took in the abyss surround you from outside the window, wondering what it was like out there.

A soft creak at the doors, made you turn your head and your eyes fell on Milo, one of your lover’s favorite’s. “You don’t have to keep checking up on me, I’m fine.” You smiled and the boy sighed, sitting down next to you.

“I told him you were the last four times.” The boy grinned, fishing through his pockets to find something he’d brought back from the human realm. “He says that he’ll be back soon. This family we have is being difficult.” Placing his hand out to you, you see a small stuffed animal elephant, one made for an infant.

“Thank you, Milo.” You said gently, taking it from him and holding it in your hands, looking over it. A particularly strong kick to your stomach from the child within made you hiss and you waved off the boy as he stood quickly. “I think it wants out soon.” Milo nodded at your words and helped you stand, watching you place a hand on your lower back and waddle out of the library. He followed you around for a while, making sure you were taking care of yourself before heading back to the human world with a wave.

Bughuul never let you so much as step foot near the mirror; it was the portal to which they came and went between realms. After you had died and he brought you here, he never wanted you to go back, not knowing what affect it could have on you. You didn’t mind, the castle was big and had plenty of things that kept you occupied.

But sometimes it felt as though it wasn’t enough.

It was lonely when he went away for periods at a time. The bed was a little colder and the hours seemed to slow; you were the one who purposed the idea of having a child with him. Not only did the deity need an heir at some point, but it would help you when he was gone.

The mirror twisted, the black swirls within almost taunting you, knowing you couldn’t step through; not without Bughuul lecturing you for it later. Turning around, you made your way through the castle, walking down the hallway of windows that connected the top main floors together. It looked as though there were stars out in the reddened air surround the place. “Souls,” Bughuul had once told you what they were, much to your surprise. “Yours is in here, with mine.” He had pointed to his chest and you remember blushing at his statement.

Running a hand along your stomach, you felt a small hand press against yours and you smiled. “Hello, little one.” You cooed, feeling it run its fingers along your palm. Little did you know, you would be seeing the baby sooner than you thought.

Milo had come to check on you a few days later after constant pestering from Bughuul saying that something didn’t feel right. Being in the middle of another child’s mind, Bughuul had to stay where he was or he’d lose the opportunity to harvest the soul, so Milo went back to the castle, surprised at what he found.

“He felt it.” Milo told you as you held the baby in your arms, having been born only a few hours before he’d gotten there. “How are you?” He asked you and you waved his question off.

“I’m alright. Everything’s perfect, he’s perfect.” You stared down at the little bundle of joy in your arms.

“As it should be.” Milo smiled when you let him see the child. “He’s cute. I guess this is what Bughuul looked like before his mouth and eyes were taken.” You nodded in response and smiled when the baby looked up at you and grinned, gums and all.

“He’s got dimples.” You laughed, feeling your eyes water and a few tears fell down your cheeks. “I can’t remember a time when I’ve been this happy.” You looked over to Milo who gave you a gentle smile, wiping a tear away before standing.

“I’ll go tell him the news. I’m sure he’ll be here soon.” And with that, the boy left again, leaving you with a happy baby boy cradled in your arms.

It was another two days before you saw your lover. You were in the hallway of windows again, looking out, your mind elsewhere as your baby fed off your breast. Tightening your grip on him, you gentle rocked him as he fed, eyes closed and breath calm. You could hear footsteps approaching you and an all too familiar feeling surround you; home. “Motherhood suits you,” His voice was deep as you turned to greet him.

It took everything in him to contain himself with how beautiful you looked, “My love you look lavishing.” You wrapped an arm around his shoulder and hugged him the best you could with the baby still in your arms, pulling back you pressed your mouth to where his was and he hummed in content. “I’m so sorry I wasn’t here for you when he came,” Bughuul groaned to himself, taking in the form of the baby on your breast.

“It’s alright, you can be here for the next one.” You smiled as he hummed in approval, looking down at his offspring in content.

“I was worried he would bear the marks I do,” You could feel a sense of relief coming off of your lover and you leaned against him in comfort, “He’s lovely.” You let out a noise of agreement and felt the baby pull away from your breast, letting you cover it before he snuggled against you, one hand gripping the neckline of your top.

“He’s bonded with you,” Bughuul stated and you looked up at him.

“And he will with you, just give it time. He’s only a few days old but he knows who his parents are.” You smiled warmly at the man and he nodded, placing a hand on your lower back and guiding you through the castle.

#bughuul x reader #bughuul #sinister #horror imagines #horror x reader #scary movie x reader #[✉️].request #🍰.fluff

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ciggylungz · 4 years

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Pray to me

word count. 4,077

Warnings-like probably the most risky smut i’ve ever written, church sex, wild stuff (sorry)

Pray to me:

(A random little smutty one shot relating to my bad boy harry series, it’s not going to affect the story line so just imagine this is another au for my au that’s an au. I just gave myself a stroke writing that.)

Detention.

A ‘punishment’ Harry Styles was used to getting by now, he was in his third year of Catholic high school and to say he has gotten his fair share of detention slips is a gross understatement. You’d think being surrounded by crosses would help subdue his cursing yet Harry didn’t seem to inherit the same fear his classmates did by the ‘word of god’ that was crammed down his throat every day. So, it wasn’t exactly tolerated when the boy strung a slew of curses together to describe the head Priest, or when he got caught smoking spliffs in the boys bathroom when he was supposed to be in math and well, those choices led him to where he is now. Slouched in a pew whilst the head nun was giving him a proper tongue lashing and explaining to him that he was to clean the chapel from top to bottom, smooth any creased pages in the 300 bibles that were stacked in the rows of pews, get any gum off the under side of them as well and wipe down the stain glass windows. The school had called his mum to tell her he would be home very late that day knowing the job would take a solid 4 or 5 hours to complete and that’s if he rushed it. To say he was pissed was putting it lightly, yet the biggest shock was yet to come when he heard the heavy wooden doors open and slam again as another person shuffled inside.

“Miss Yln, you’re here. Mister Styles here can tell you the duties you both must complete, here are the keys lock the doors when you both are finished. We’ll expect to meet with you before mass tomorrow to get a proper apology once the work if finished. Right-o, chop chop kids.”

The grouchy wrinkle faced nun thrust the keys into an anxious Y/n’s hands while she shuffled her way towards the exit, giving a careless slam of the 20 pound doors causing both Harry and Y/n to flinch. Harry was genuinely surprised to see Y/n there with him, he’s used to seeing her at mass or in line at confessional but detention? That was a new one for her. He took his time standing from his seat, cracking his back and neck whilst he settled onto his feet, casting a curious glance at the girl who stuck out like a sore thumb in the somber hostile environment. He knew Y/n well, he considers her a friend which is rare since he’s not the friendliest of people around town. Yet he liked Y/n, she was cute as button and what teenage boy doesn’t find an innocent girl wearing a catholic school uniform appealing?

“well well well miss sunshine, what did you do to get yourself this torment?” Harry gave her the quick once over, using his typical teasing nickname for the girl just to get her cheeks to blush a bit and help lighten the mood. Y/n blew out a breath out through her plump glossed lips, subconsciously stomping her foot a bit in annoyance which Harry thought was funny, and also cute. “I accidentally said a bad word in class! James tricked me into saying it and Sister Amy heard and gave me detention.” Her pout grew further when the boy chuckled at her attitude. “How did he trick yeh into saying somethin’?” Y/n grunted a bit, very peeved and mentally hexing James for what his actions caused her, “He said hold your tongue while you say apple…” Harry at this point was letting out a belly laugh, just imagining Y/n’s face when she realized she’d said asshole and finding humor in how ditzy she could be sometimes. “You fell for that? Did you not have a childhood? I thought everyone knew that trick, hon” Y/n simply smacked his arm and tossed the keys onto the nearest surface. “Shush Harry” her little finger pointed at him, trying to be serious but he found it comical. His hands moved out to poke her sides, knowing exactly how ticklish she was feeling content as Y/n squirmed and squealed. Adorable giggles falling from her lips and making the chapel seem a bit less creepy, her tiny hands trying to push his biceps back to free herself from his tickling fingers. “Ah! Harry!-“ she was trying to speak between her laughs, the boy one year her senior smiled, dimples sinking into the flesh of his cheeks, “Dunno what you expected, love. You thought you could tell me to shush?! no one tells me to do princess.” “Okay! Okay I’m sorry! I take it back!” after what seemed like an eternity to Y/n, but was only a few ticks over a minute Harry finally let go, smiling down at her while he ruffled her hair chuckling to himself while she tried to straighten her uniform back out. “That was not a fair fight Harry, you had an unfair weight AND height advantage!” y/n stuck her tongue out at him. “Hey, you started it bossy pants. You’re lucky I didn’t throw yeh over m’ shoulder and tossed yeh around. You got off easy this time missy.”

Harry wasn’t typically so playful and relaxed, he couldn’t bring himself to be so cold around Y/n. How could he? She’s sunshine personified, the real version of the rhyme ‘sugar, spice and everything nice’. The girl was the only thing that kept him from dropping out. Y/n makes day to day bullshit tolerable for him…and well she also has given her inspiration more than once when he couldn’t sleep at night and resorted to a quick wank while mumbling of dirty phrases topped off with her name to send him off to dreamland.

_______________________________

After some more shenanigans, the pair got to work on their scheduled tasks. Y/n had started in the bibles in the first 6 pews on the right side of the chapel while Harry dug through a supply closet to get a ladder out to wipe the windows. He was contemplating if he should pretend to fall and collect an insurance claim instead of actually cleaning the 12-foot art pieces but he decided against it by the time he found what he was looking for. After setting the ladder up and grabbing the giant duster Harry decided to take his first break, he knew he was just procrastinating but who cares? He decided during his break he’d get Y/n to take one with him. “Hey love, wanna take a fiver?” Y/n looked up from the 12th bible she had fixed giving him a frantic nod, her mind numb from the task she was busy doing.

“what do yeh wanna do?” she left the choice up to the older boy, watching as he bit his lip lightly in thought, shrugging and scooting in next to her. “truth or dare?” he wiggled his eyebrows tempting her and being the compliant and very bored girl, she was, Y/n agreed.

“Okay you first Harry, truth or dare?” the boy pondered for a moment before shrugging, “Truth” he didn’t miss the way she was fidgeting with her skirt all excited for the game. “Ok, have you ever uhmmmm got drunk?” her innocence laced her tone, genuine curiosity. Her voice slightly lowered as if what she was asking was naughty which of course got Harry to chuckle, “Yes, pretty much every weekend. You’ve never drank? Not even once, love?” his left eyebrow raised and she timidly shrugged “Nope, I only had wine at communion but then it’s only a sip. Never been drunk before…Okay your turn!” he hummed slightly, “Truth or dare y/n?” “uhhh dare!” at this point she was squirming in her seat from her giddiness, and Harry took full opportunity over the chance he had. “I dare you to kiss me.”

Y/n wasn’t exactly expecting that one. She thought maybe he’d dare her to say another bad word or smoke one of his cigarettes, but he wanted her to kiss him…and she was confused on why she wanted to. She didn’t want to say no, she had the urge to follow through with it. The girl noticed the butterflies in her stomach she was used to getting when around her older friend, and a blush crawled up her neck to her cheeks. Harry sat with an amused smirk, darting his tongue out to lick over his lips whilst tipping his head to the side slightly, “cat got your tongue, love? What are yeh waiting for?” a pointer finger was placed under her chin to get her to look at him, and y/n decided it was better to bite the bullet and pushed her thoughts out of the way while quickly leaning in to give him a peck.

Harry was surprised she actually did it, feeling her lips on his for a split second before she pulled away with a shy giggle yet he was having none of that. “uh uh, a real kiss” his natural dominance reared it’s head when he grabbed the girl and plopped her on his lap, holding her jaw and planting his lips on her’s yet again coaxing her to move with him. When she didn’t respond how he wanted he tugged her hair a bit, biting her bottom lip and dragging it down so her mouth was pried open, “Being a tease y/n, keep your mouth open wanna taste ya’”

y/n’s head was swimming, she’d never done anything like this but her body went weak under Harry’s rough hold and demanding voice and so she complied opening her mouth so his tongue could infiltrate. She wasn’t really skilled in the kissing department; she’d only kissed one person before and it was nothing like this. Harry didn’t mind her clumsy, clueless movements he found it even hotter that she didn’t know what she was doing and he was the one cracking away at her purity. His heart was pumping, his fingers tangled in her hair as he tugged her by it to get her to move where he wanted her, it was hot. So fucking hot.

When he finally pulled away from the kiss he observed her. Plump lips now a flushed red, swollen and slick with her lingering lip gloss and their mixed spit. She was breathing heavily, eyes staring into his darkening ones. She looked amazing. “God…pet you have no idea how long I’ve wanted to fuckin’ do that” his tongue darted out to lick over his own lips frowning when he got a heavy taste of sticky lip-gloss , “gotta get this off yeh, it’s too sticky” his sleeve was pulled down to cover his palm whilst he rubbed the remaining product off her delicious lips before shuffling it back up to bunch at his elbows. “There, look a little dazed petal. Yeh alright?” Y/n nodded quickly at the question, smiling a little bit before kissing his nose and each of his cheeks then going back to his lips mimicking how he’d kissed her prior. The boy could hardly contain himself, taking over the kiss and pulling her hands off his face holding both her wrists in one of his hands yanking them above her head so she was completely bound. “No no no, little love. I make the rules hon, you don’t. I didn’t say to kiss me again did i? I didn’t say you could touch me, hmm? Being a bit naughty aren’t yeh baby?”

To say she was overwhelmed and a tad confused was accurate, she had really no experience in any sort of sexual situations all she knew is she was going to listen to Harry. His gaze was enough to melt her into submission. “Words Y/n, did I tell you to do those things?” his grip on her wrist tightened a bit, “No….no you didn’t tell me to…” his eyes were staring into hers a subtle hum exiting his throat. “Good girl, now tell me your sorry.” “I’m sorry, Harry” an adorable pout decorated her lips, Harry was loving this.

He let go of her hands, both of them falling into her lap where she folded them, making sure to follow the new rule of not touching without permission, waiting for what was going to happen next. Only a moment later did Y/n feel Harry’s right thumb pressing into her bottom lip, eyes jumping to meet his, “open” she complied, letting him slip his thumb past her lips to rest on her tongue, “Close, now suck.”

Her confused gaze met his stern one while she started suckling on his digit. She didn’t really understand why he wanted her to suck his thumb, regardless she did it.

It was taking everything in Harry to not bend the girl over and shove himself inside her, god he fucking wanted to but he had something else in mind. Something more sinful than two teenagers having premarital sex in a chapel, no he wanted to give the biggest ‘fuck you’ he could to the school, and the ‘god’ he was forced to submit to. He knew if all the preaching’s were true, this idea was his first-class ticket straight to the devil’s doorstep.

“Listen princess, you’re going to do what I say, okay?” Y/n gave a quick nod of her head, Harry scooting her off his lap and removing his thumb from her mouth as he guided her up the steps to of the pulpit where the priest usually gave his sermons, a holy pedestal of sorts but today it would get a new use.

“on your knees.” It wasn’t a request, it was an order. Harry stood in the center of the pulpit, the religious art work surrounding them did little to stop his ‘sinful’ desires. Desires of the flesh were the only thing on his mind.

Y/n was on her knees before him, looking up at her friend who had a smug sultry look on his beautiful face. His hands fumbled with his belt whilst he looked down at her.

“you’re going to pray to me now, angel.”

Y/n couldn’t believe she was really in this situation, kneeling under the podium in the pulpit where she hears sermons 5 days a week for 3 hours with Harry pulling his cock out. when he finally managed to get himself free a loud groan echoed in the sanctuary, one that made Y/n feel a tingle between her legs and salivate slightly. A strange new sensation she couldn’t describe, but she knew she liked it.

“open your mouth, sweetheart.”

Y/n had never seen Harry’s eye’s look so dark, his tone so demanding and his breathing so heavy. His cock loomed over her face, bobbing slightly with every beat of his heart whilst something clear and sticky was leaking from the tiny slit in the top of it webbing onto the underside of his tip. She was nervous, but she did as she was told opening her sweet little mouth so the older boy could guide the crown of his cock into the warm cavern of her virgin mouth. The sensation was the closest thing to heavenly Harry had ever felt in this room, her mouth was warm and wet. Tongue slightly textured and slick with the nice, thick spit that comes from the back corners of your mouth. It’s better than any lube you can buy truly. He instructed her to suck his flesh, hollowing her cheeks and massaging his prick with the flesh of her mouth for the very first time in her life.

“Holy fucking shit, doll…you sure this is yeh first time? Good little cock sucker aren’t yeh? On your pretty knees, praying to me now huh?” Harry could see his cock pushing into the side of her cheek as she nodded, her mouth stuffed full of his leaking member, and because Harry was Harry and liked to really make a statement he decided if he was going to hell for this, he might as well make it worth it.

His fingers plucked one of the small wooden crosses off of the staircase on the pulpit, it was a decoration dedicated to Christ yet he had other plans for it.

The boy took a step back from Y/n, moaning slightly at the sight of her following after his cock when it started slipping from her lips. She wanted it, she liked it and god he fucking did too but he couldn’t wait any longer to execute the idea that just tumbled into his mind. Harry snapped his fingers in front of the drooly lipped girl, getting her attention on his eyes instead of the cock she wanted so desperately back in her mouth. “Up, don’t be greedy yeh can finish me off when I’m done with yeh..” Harry lifted the girl by her underarms up onto the flat part of the pedestal, where a bible was sat opened to a scripture that was suddenly smothered by the doe eyed girls round plump ass. Harry wishes he could dig his teeth into it but that’s for another time.

Y/n didn’t resist at all when he tipped her back a bit, hiking her skirt up and spreading her legs. The only reaction she gave at first was a quick gasp when he ripped her school tights right at the crotch her white cotton panties now in his view. “cute” was mumbled under his breath as he toyed with the tiny pink bow stitched into the waistband of her panties, but soon they were gone as well pushed fully to the side to expose her cunt, a small smattering of light curls at the apex of her thighs. They looked soft, light and quite cute. He could tell they’d never been shaven off before by how soft they were, wasn’t a very course or thick section of hair. That was likely to come later in her life, but for now her cunt was the only thing he was willing to worship in the holy home of Christ.

“Fuckin’ beautiful…got a real nice little pussy, angel.” Y/n was past the point of being shy now, she was spread eagle perched on top of a open bible with her cunt on full display in front of her half naked friend. Modesty flew out the door a while ago. And so, she responded in a little whine and shimmy of her hips, feeling the cold air lapping at her hot center and cooling the slick that had collected between her folds that she didn’t even notice till now.

The boy thought he might have been in the midst of one of his wet dreams, the stereotypical catholic school girl splayed out in a chapel with his hungry eyes staring at her virgin cunt. He was trying his hardest to take a mental picture so he can relive this the next time he has a wank, but in this moment his plan was coming to fruition.

Harry held up the small wooden cross, holding it between his thumb and pointer finger. The piece of religious art was about as wide around as a taper candle and maybe a good 4 inches from the base to where it met the divider of the cross. Much smaller than his cock, but a good size to fuck his classmate with.

“Open.” His voice doomed after the stretch of silence, Y/n letting her lips fall open again gurgling a bit as the wooden cross was thrust into her mouth. Harry was purposefully being rough, pushing her gag reflex intentionally, “Gag on it, get it nice and wet. Do as I say y/n, m’ getting’ yeh throat to slick it up. Could shove it in yeh dry be glad I’m lubing it up pet.” With a few more jabs at her uvula the boy was content with the amount of thick spit that dripped down the object.

Y/n couldn’t help but squirm and mewl, feeling Harry split her labia. An audible clicking sound fell on their ears from the wetness adhering the folds of skin together, the sound gave a boost to his already prominent smirk. Once her engorged clit came into view Harry made a point to give it a few strong strokes with his thumb before pressing the end of the cross into the girl’s virgin opening. The sight was nothing short of filthy, completely sinful. He wouldn’t be surprised if the floor caved in and they fell straight to hell as he finally managed to press through her thin hymen gaining entry to the untouched inners of the girl.

The stinging caused Y/n to hiss slightly, her legs quivering as he finally made it inside her. A small streak of her purity stood out against the white wood. Harry couldn’t help but snicker to himself, he thought of Virgin Mary in this moment. Ironic right? The first thought into his mind when seeing Y/n’s virginal blood striping a cross was how this was a strange twist on the story of the savior’s mother.

His movements sped up considerably after the flimsy membrane of resistance was punctured. The cross now being plunged in and out of the girl’s sacred spot in quick succession while she gripped the railing behind her in an effort not to tumble off the stand.

“Would yeh look at that, might be the first girl in this school to get fucked with a cross, baby. Always knew you were special huh?” Harry migrated his hand down to thumb at her clit, the foreign sensation of something inside of her and a massaging of her pleasure organ had the girl pigeon toed and panting. Harry swears he’s never seen anything hotter than what he was doing in this moment. His arm was getting tired but he didn’t dare fucking stop. No, he decided he was going to violate the artwork until Y/n had her first orgasm clamping onto the now not so holy figurine.

Y/n could barely form a thought, pleasure wracking through her body and a strange sensation building inside of her. Harry mumbling filth to her was the icing on the cake, her body tipping over the edge. Her body went stiff before breaking out into shakes, vocal cords strained from the moans and yelps escaping her throat. Her first ever orgasm was the most intense feeling she had ever felt, and Harry almost came just watching her suddenly remembering his abandoned cock.

Y/n was scrambling to regain control over her body, pushing Harry’s wrists away with a slick popping noise following as the cross was removed from her body. Harry leaned down to kiss the panting girl, dribbling spit into her open mouth while she gasped for air. “good girl, you’re such a good girl.” His ring clad fingers pet her cheek lightly, the other hand sitting her up and tugging her forward giving her a shove to get her back onto her knees.

“Now, time to finish your prayer, love” His hand pushed his cock back into the cavern of her mouth, she suckled hard on him. Tongue lapping at the underside of his cock, suction hard on the crown of him. The way she gave harsh spongy movements of her tongue and cheeks had his knees weak having to hold himself up on the podium. “Shit, Christ pet I’m gonna cum”.

Harry felt his climax rapidly approaching, taking both of his hands and putting them on the back of her head forcing the entirety of his cock down the girls sore throat. The muscles already tired from all the noise she made with it, but she only dug her fingers into his thighs as he spilled down her tight throat.

Harsh breathing along with Harry’s pleasured chuckle were the only noises filling the room as the pair removed themselves from each other. Harry getting his control back, putting his cock away before pulling Y/n to her feet giving her a few smacking kisses as he helped straighten her out tossing her ruined tights into the trashcan.

“Think we took more than a fiver babe, guess we gotta finish now huh?”

His smirk was wide while he put the cross right back in it’s place, cum still dripping off of it.

#harry styles angst #harry styles au #harry styles blurb #harry styles smut #harry styles imagine #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles writing #harry styles concept #harry styles x reader #harry styles x yn #harry styles series

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sourbat · 3 years

Text

I felt like exploring magtok HCs, and ended up writing this little scene/ficlet. Let me know what you guys think :D

Summary: A short scene where Magnus and Toki get out of a messy scuffle.

Rating: T for swearing, violence and reference to blood and injury

Pairing: Magnus and Toki

Magnus remembered the pit. Heck, he had told Toki more than his fair share of stories of when he dabbled in other scenes, and partook in crazed rituals that left him sore, bloody and bruised the morning after. The lights. The sweat. The energy. The late-night train rides and sneaking into tight alleys leading out of the high street and to shanty basement dwellings that pulsed bass and drum beats. The incredible sound of punk rock blasting up close, lyricists giving the orders to the crowds to unleash their bridled rage and scare away the casual listeners and tourists looking to get a taste of the underground scene. Stomping. Yelling. Heads banging, leather belts and cheap metal chain links swaying in tandem to a rapid, unforgiving beat. Boots slipping on booze or loose pins, and nostrils taking in the thick, dangerous atmosphere. His hand forming a tight, hot fist that flung into the steamy hot air, across the angry rowdy crowds or, if it came to it, straight into someone’s jaw.

Perhaps it was his enthusiasm, those nostalgic tales where he was younger and the hero of his own tale that lead to Toki inviting him closer to the stage, into the raging swell of drugged and drunken thrill seekers. And though Magnus entered the compacted club already so overwhelmed by the flashing red stage lights, bodies fighting at the door, for a seat or spot at the bar, and music amplified to its max, when Toki asked him to join him in the mosh pit, Magnus happily obliged.

Somehow, he forgot the pain, and it wasn’t until he was too far deep, lost in an entanglement of dangerous bodies that crashed and slammed into his older, frailer self, did Magnus finally recall the wet snap of a broken nose, the icy-hot sting of cracked, torn knuckles, and the agonizing, nauseating migraine that almost always arose after taking several blows to the face the following morning. The first rough bump startled him, but he thought he could regain a better sense once he had his footing. An elbow to his side hindered a chance for recovery, and someone shoving him into a bystander, heads colliding, made things worse. Magnus was still on his hands and knees when someone pulled him up and decked him in the cheek. No time to explain himself, just a fist bashing into the side of his head. The booming of the music throbbed along with the blurring vision, and as he stumbled back, heard Toki’s vicious war cry.

They put up a good fight. He did as well as an old bastard could, tagging himself free of any responsibility shortly after a nasty ringed fist to his mouth earned an unsatisfying snap from within. After that, Magnus let Toki finish the job, and pondered the extent of his damage, and when exactly he became too old for this sort of thing before blacking out.

He regained consciousness a few minutes later. They were in a gated alleyway right outside of the club. Toki helped him lean against the wall before making a turn for his phone. Magnus rubbed his aching temples, listening to Toki’s short call and learning they’d have a ride in just a few minutes.

“Wowee, that was something,” he said through a stuffy nose. He picked up on how odd he sounded and, through teary eyes, pressed his finger against his nostril and snorted out a ball of congealed blood and mucus. Lovely.

Both stared at the fat glob, giving it an appropriate moment of silence out of respect for its size and composure.

“Thanks for your help,” Magnus mentioned once it had passed, then gently applied pressure around his nose with his forefinger. He was hot to the touch, and the skin was swelling tight and thin, but it didn’t appear that his nose was broken. Thank goodness. Magnus wasn’t sure if he could afford another tooth on top of a broken nose. “You really saved my ass back there.”

“No problems.” Another forced snort, and then Toki regained his posture. “We makes a good teams.”

“Yeah, we do.”

Magnus licked his gums, then tracing a trail of blood up to the pooling hole where a tooth once lay. The location was far enough where it wouldn’t impact any new impressions, but was it far enough to stave off an expensive visit for a few months?

Thankfully, the alcohol impeded any further concern for money. A hand picked him up by the chin, and as Magnus shirked away at the slightest change of pressure, fell into a brief state of comfort at the sight of Toki’s welcoming smile.

Half his face was covered in drying blood or clots, and what wasn’t had hair sticking to it, adhered to with old sweat. Toki was red and blotchy, some parts still carrying monikers of where rings made impact. Magnus was positive Toki’s left forearm was bruised in several places, with his bicep already speckled unevenly with purple and blue. There was a bit of blood here and there, but most of it was seeping through his left nostril. Otherwise, Toki was in decent shape. He was a mess, but he survived. He did well. Better than Magnus, and he looked good doing it. Hell, bloody cheeks and snot be damned, Toki still looked good.

“You. Uhm… it was pretty hot when you kicked that guy in the nuts,” he mentioned as Toki reached to help pull him off from the wall.

“Thanks.” Toki squeezed Magnus’ arms. Then, another smile, and this time Magnus made out a bloody, cracked tooth barely holding on to the gums.

“Holy shit, Toke.” Magnus grabbed Toki and squinted his good eye to better assess the damage. “Your tooth…”

Second tooth from the front, where everyone could see. Cracked down the middle, and pushed outwards from a hemorrhaging socket. If they hurried and put it on ice, then a dentist might be able to save the tooth.

“I think your tooth is about to fall out,” Magnus stated, his slightly grim expression shifting from Toki’s shrinking grin to his confused, periwinkles eyes.

“Oh, dats all?” Toki asked back, then put his hand to his mouth. With the precision expected from a drunk, he reached into his mouth, prodded the tooth with the blunt end of his finger. The whimpers Toki’s coughed out send a nasty chill down Magnus’ back.

“Toki!” Magnus shook his head as Toki performed a pained dance in front of him. “Are you seriously trying to yank your own tooth out?”

“Yeah?”

“And lose the whole tooth?”

“Ams not a problems,” Toki said gently and with a slight lisp. “Charles gives Toki and Dethklok the best plan on accounts of all the accidentals we gets into.”

He sniffed, then wiped some of the many tears flowing down his cheeks with his shirt. Carefully, and barely patting the side with the now ailing loose tooth.

“You knows” he added, waving a pointed finger at Magnus. “You ams also on the same plans now.”

Toki noticed the missing tooth? Maybe the gape wasn’t as deep as Magnus hoped, but the promising news of a dental plan immediately grabbed his attention. He recalled the many documents Offdensen made him sign a few weeks ago to effectively be considered an “unofficial” member of Dethklok incorporated. He knew a certain amount of Toki’s insurances and privileges were extended unto him, though to what degree was still being unraveled. Of the many pamphlets sent to him the following week, were any for dental plans?

Suddenly Toki’s phone went off. The klokateers were here, ready to pick them up. A hand sticky with blood took Magnus the hand.

“Was thinking. Maybe we can gets new teeth togethers,” Toki suggested. His bloody, swollen face attempted what Magnus thought was a smile. His double-vision brought on by the migraine made it difficult to tell. But he was sure Toki just invited him on a date to see a dentist, and whether Magnus could afford it or not, his boyfriend was a billionaire.

“Yeah?” he said, trying to snicker and appear as casual about the invitation as he could. But the pulsing in his head made it difficult to stand straight, and his right eye shed some tears as a car flashed light in their general direction. He winced, but once the pain leveled, and Toki coaxed him into blindly following him though the smokers, around the gated area and back into the quiet comforts of their limo, Magnus muttered that he’d rearrange his calendar.

“Thinks you can makes room for tomorrows?” Toki whispered into Magnus’ crown just before the gear readied a syringe loaded with delicious morphine.

Eyes closed, Magnus brushed his bruised cheek against Toki’s shoulder. “Sure.”

The needle hadn’t yet gone in when Toki placed a soft kiss on top of Magnus’ aching head. He did his best to appreciate it, but the pain proved itself too much.

“Ow.”

A nervous chuckle. “Sorries.”

#magnus hammersmith #toki wartooth #magtok #hammertooth #metalocalypse #blood #swearing #unbeta'd #will fix mistakes later

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sheabuttahwrites · 3 years

Text

[ I Know ]

. two : the connection

one

6:02am

I was dreaming about Omari again. For some reason, he came to me often while I slept. He had picked me up, as he usually did, but, somehow I knew that I wasn’t coming back this time. I was clueless as to where we were, but I also didn't have a single worry. I was with O and I was safe. That, I was sure of.

We were flying through the air, which wasn't odd for me because I’d had more than a few dreams where I could fly. Still, there was a difference. Whenever I’d be flying, I was usually doing so because something or someone was chasing me and I had to get away. And it was usually very dark as well. But now, I didn't discern any danger and everything around us was shining so brightly. I’d also never been able to actually stay up there. Whenever I’d stop flying, I would immediately start to float back down. That wasn't the case here. We stopped and were just suspended in the sky with no effort. He laid me down on what felt the way I thought a cloud should feel and, starting at the top of my head, he kissed my scars one by one. In some miraculous way, they all disappeared with a single touch of his lips. Amazed, I smiled and watched as he continued to make his way down my bare body. At first my nudity confused me, as did the lack of discomfort that came with it, but, when he reached my Love, I no longer cared. My grin slowly fell as he spread my legs and, without an ounce of hesitance, he began to spoil me with gentle kisses. I was stunned, but it never entered my mind to stop him. I had to admit, it felt good.

“Oh my... aaah,” I moaned softly, lacing my right hand with his left. It was almost like I could actually feel his tongue slipping around a part of me that only myself and Cam had ever touched. However, in this illusion, I had no problem with that fact becoming fiction. Though I had moved past the initial shock, unfortunately, I could sense my sleep coming to an end. He started to fade away as my eyes softly fluttered open, but there was still someone between my legs. And it wasn't Omari. I looked down and Cam had my thighs stretched wide, one arm across my stomach, licking the shit out of my pussy. I tried to get away, but my every pursuit was quickly shut down. Whenever he realized that I was trying to escape his firm grasp, he licked faster, sucked harder, rubbed deeper.

No matter how hard I fought, my body began to respond on its own, grinding into his face. Before long, my hips were in the air, he was buried between my lips, and I had relinquished all control. I gripped the couch with both hands in an attempt to evade the floor. “Fuuuck,” I whined, so upset with myself. Then the self betrayal reached a new level as I clenched my eyes, having the most regrettable orgasm ever. I hated giving him the satisfaction that, even at a time like this, he still had the power to make me cum. My body fell into the cushions and I hid my face, embarrassed. I don't know what the fuck he thought this was doing, because he hadn't swayed me whatsoever. I felt no different about things than I had before.

He came up with tears in his eyes, apologizing and telling me how much he loved me. “You know I love you. With my whole heart, Jade. I'm sorry.” Seeing him cry shook me up a bit, I won't lie, but I was so far away from succumbing to his will.

He came closer and laid his head on my chest. Not even the smallest part of me welcomed the contact, and I was not about to let this be over so easily. “It's not... that simple.” He looked up and I reached to turn on the lamp behind us. “Look what you did to me.” My neck held marks from his fingernails, my scalp was bruised, there were noticeable rug burns on my knee and both hips, my face was so badly swollen that a small cut had formed at the corner of my mouth, and there was blood stuck on my gum line and between my teeth.

“Oh my God.” He quietly examined every injury, running his fingers gingerly over the damage, seemingly frightened by my appearance.

“This is love, Cameron?”

“I'm so sorry, baby. I swear, I'm gonna work on being better. I don't wanna do stuff like this to you. I'ma get help.”

I didn't fall for any of that shit. Sadly, this was the routine. I'd get my ass beat, then I'd get fucked, next was the apology and last came the promise of counseling. A promise that he never kept. This was my life now. A life that I could not have imagined in my wildest dreams.

Cameron McKinley Taylor. He wasn't always this way.

We had been together for five years now, the first three being probably the most happy years of my adult life. He was always such a sweetheart. He'd call or text just to hear my voice or tell me he loved me, bring me flowers for no reason; you know, just little things to show me he cared. We would talk for hours about anything, and nobody could make me laugh as hard. We were just in tune with one another, damn near inseparable. But, shortly after the situation became a little more serious, after we moved in together, everything changed. Out of nowhere, he just switched up on me. All of the sweetness was replaced with constant anger. It started with him taking my car. To this day, I still have no idea what he did with it. Without a ride of my own, though, I couldn't go anywhere or do anything without him. But he somehow always found a way to accuse me of stepping outside of the relationship. Which I never understood. I made the decision to stick it out, thinking this behavior was only temporary. However, after two years had passed me by, I learned a major lesson; fun wasn’t the only thing that made time fly. Misery did it just as well.

He moved us to Los Angeles from Atlanta about a year and a half ago for a chance at better career opportunities, he'd claimed. But, the more thought I gave it, the more I began to believe there had been some malice behind his motives. I was taken so far away from my family, or anyone I knew for that matter, that I had no choice but to spend all of my time with him. I wasn’t even sure what it was that he did. He had a couple of degrees and he was working for some company before we came out here. Whatever he was doing now required him to leave home for months at a time, usually around two, and his salary was ridiculous. That was where my knowledge ended. I had my suspicions, but I knew better than to question him about anything. I'd just convinced myself that as long as the bills were kept current and we weren’t living on the street, everything was ok. He wasn't the least bit stingy with his leftovers either. He just made sure to monitor my transactions very closely. Shopping had become a way of life for me. It was basically my therapy.

Almost as soon as we got to Cali, he left for work. For a whole week, I stayed inside, afraid to leave the house. Not only was it a new scene for me, but I was heavily intimidated by the fact that I wasn’t familiar with anyone in the entire state. Then one day, feeling unusually courageous, I just got an Uber. After a little convincing, along with some financial compensation, that lady drove me all over LA.

I met Omari that day.

I walked into this sneaker boutique just to look around and there he was, standing with four boxes beside him and still browsing.

I recall thinking he had a nice deep brown, caramel complexion with really smooth looking skin. His hair was how he always wore it; in neatly twisted braids that ran straight back, falling an ample amount past his shoulders. He had a goatee then and it was groomed perfectly to match. Likewise, he was dressed nicely in jeans and a crisp white v-neck tee that hugged his toned arms and chest perfectly. The black diamonds in his ears glistened in the sunlight, as did the gold beaded bracelet around his wrist. His feet held a pair of black high top Chucks and I caught a Louis Vuitton belt peeking from underneath his shirt right before I turned to mind my own business. Long story short, he was very well put together... and so damn fine.

I still remember like it was yesterday.

“Um, I know it’s a lot, but can I get these in an 8?”

“Oh, no problem.” The associate, who had just been helping him, eagerly studied my selections. Her memory must've been outstanding, because I definitely would’ve had to take my phone out and snap a pic. “I'll be right back”.

I smiled, thanking her as I resumed my search. I wasn’t exactly interested in anything else, I was more so making the conscious effort to keep myself distracted. I had briefly considered taking a seat when, from the corner of my eye, I could see him starting to come over. I immediately threw all of my attention to a pair of kicks in front of me. They weren't even cute, but that was neither here nor there. I just needed to conceal the fact that I had been checking him out something serious on the low.

“Hey,” he rasped, once he was standing next to me. I turned to him and he had the cutest grin on his face. I couldn't help but smile back. Plus he looked even better up close.

“Hey.”

“I don't mean to interrupt, and I know you don't know me, but… I just had to come over and say hello. You are beautiful.”

Completely caught off guard, I blushed almost instantly. My ears weren't even tuned for that type of compliment anymore. He was serious, too. I took my gaze down for a moment, using a slight laugh as part of my recovery. “Thank you.” And upon realizing that I liked this guy and didn't want his good smelling self to walk away, I decided to go ahead and introduce myself. “Jade.”

“Omari. Nice to meet you.” He extended his hand to me and I obliged, giving it a shake.

“Nice to meet you, too.”

“So, um, where you from? If you don't mind me asking.”

“How you know I'm not from LA?” I jokingly asked. I was nowhere near being from LA, I just wanted to see what he would say.

“I can hear it in your voice.”

I chuckled, fully aware that my accent had given me away. “Yeah, I'm from Georgia.”

“I knew you were from somewhere down south.”

“Yep. So, you from here?” I returned my attention to the wall of shoes in front of me, trying not to stare.

“Yeah. Been here all my life.”

“Ok,” I nodded. “I've only been here for a couple weeks.”

“Oh, for real?”

“Yeah. Today is actually my first time getting out of the house, believe it or not.”

“Well, maybe I can show you around my city sometime.”

And, just like that, I was back. “Maybe…”

I hadn't been able keep him out of my sight for more than a few seconds, but his proposition had warranted at least a glance; I had to see if he was playing around. The deliberate eye contact I was met with only erased some of my doubt, still his confidence was a turn on for certain. I was smiling at him, he was smiling at me, and I was more than sure that he was in possession of the prettiest smile I had ever seen. His lips were on point, too; nice and full with a couple beauty marks adorning the bottom one. I found myself licking my own lips, wondering if his were as soft as they looked.

Right in the midst of a moment that needed to be disrupted, the saleswoman walked over toting my five boxes effortlessly.

“Thank you,” I told her, not just for the footwear, but also for breaking me away from whatever this was. I mean, I was stuck.

“You're welcome. I'll be at the counter when you're ready, and let me know if you need anything else.”

“Ok.” I sat down on the bench and came out of my left shoe, grabbing the first box from the stack. “So, Omari…”

“Yeah?”

“You do this often?” I quizzed, slipping a fresh sneaker onto my foot; undeniably one of the best feelings in the world.

“Do what?”

“Just walk over to random women and start conversations.” I grinned up at him standing beside me and he chuckled.

“Well, if I can be honest, you caught my eye as soon as you walked in. I like your vibe. And you looked so nice standing over here, I couldn't leave without at least getting your name.”

He was such a gentleman, and quite the charmer. He had a way with words, for sure. My guard was still very much intact, but his company didn’t make me uncomfortable. In fact, the interaction was rather flattering. I didn't know the kid still had it.

“And now you know my name and where I’m from.”

He laughed, dropping his head. “You right. But you know they say good things come in threes.”

“Yeah, I’m familiar.”

“So, now I need your number to complete the trilogy. I mean, if that's cool with you.”

I can’t lie, I was tickled. He was that cute, corny funny I was very fond of. “Yeah,” I agreed, without even a second thought. Despite the obvious, I didn't wanna say no. “You like these?” I stood and we both looked down at the deep pink suede Nike Blazer I had been wearing.

“Yeah. They cold with the gum bottom.”

“Right?! I was thinking the same thing. I'ma get 'em.”

We made small talk until I'd tried on my last pair. Then the conversation carried on while he tried on a few more. The six or seven other people in the store probably thought we knew each other. He was surprisingly easy to talk to for a complete stranger. We eventually exchanged numbers and, ever since that day, we'd been down like four flats on a Cadillac.

He was the only friend I had.

#original fiction #original characters #oc #black characters #black writer #romance #love story #drama #i know #SheaButtahWrites

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dindjarindiaries · 4 years

Text

Collide - Chapter 9

summary: With Javier blaming himself for the loss of La Quica along with more weeks of finding nothing, bella decides to help him ease his mind by recreating the moment she can never forget.

warnings: mentions of blood and death, anxiety, sexual themes

rating: R

word count: 5.716k

masterlist

chapter 9

You bite back a sigh as you glance over at Javier. He’s leaning one elbow on his desk as his hand supports his head, a cigarette balancing between his fingers. You’ve been trying to get him out of that habit, but you’ve cut him some slack after the hell he’s been putting himself through these past few weeks. The bags under his eyes are obvious to you, a sure sign of the sleep you know he’s been losing, and his dark gaze stares blankly through the paperwork he shuffles through on his desk. You’re certain that even just one more day of this paperwork shit is going to kill him. And Steve. And you.

After you lost La Quica that day in the field, Javier’s put the blame on himself. You’ve tried again and again to remind him of all the factors leading up to it—your extreme lack of backup, the unexpected ally he acquired, and the unfamiliarity of the area being just a few of them—but none have convinced him to get rid of that feeling of guilt. You’ve even tried to shift the blame onto yourself, reminding him that you were lagging behind and had you run faster, you might’ve been able to catch him. But Javier won’t have that, either. He scolds you badly if you even dare to take any of the blame for it. He does the same for Trujillo.

The time you get to spend together after work helps, but you know it’s just not enough. Javier’s deeply invested in his work down here, and that’s one thing you’ve truly gotten to learn about the time you’ve spent away from him. You’re convinced he would sell his soul if it got him to Escobar. He’s told you that he would if he could—and sometimes he feels like he already has. It’s amazing to see how much he cares about everything, and you’ve always known how passionate of a person he is, but it also makes it extremely difficult to get him to relax. Even in your loving moments, when he whisks you away for a sporadic dance in the kitchen or kisses you until your lips are swollen, you can tell he’s holding something back. It’s driving you crazy.

But you know just how to fix it.

In these first few weeks of rebuilding your relationship, you’ve been getting more and more comfortable with recreating the moment that’s been stuck in your mind for so long. You and Javier have even come close to reaching that point a few times, but he always cuts it off, knowing you haven’t announced that you’re ready for it yet. Now, you’re sure that you are. You’ve almost told him in those close moments that it’s okay, but because of the way he’s been so tense, you haven’t gone through with it. When it happens again, you want him to be present—completely present—so that you can feel all the love you’ll have to share. You don’t want him to remember it by the way he held part of himself back.

You’ve created a plan. You know exactly how to ease him into it and successfully get him to relax and release whatever burden he’s still carrying. It’s the same thing he always used to do in the past to forget some shit, but instead of being with a random stranger, he can be with you. Hopefully, that’ll only make it more successful. You plan on launching it tonight, unable to take another day of seeing Javier in such a state—especially as you continue to watch the shell of himself sitting at his desk.

As Javier takes the last drag of his cigarette, his gaze finally meets yours, and he raises an eyebrow as he deposits it in the ashtray. You gesture with your eyes towards the direction of the supply closet—which has become your secret rendezvous point—and Javier gives a nod of understanding. With your empty mug of coffee in hand, you stand up from your chair, pretending that you’re on the way to go refill it as you head towards the closet. Thankfully, it’s in a secluded hallway that branches off from the main one, so when there are no eyes watching, you’re safe to duck inside and close the door. You set the mug on a shelf, pacing the floor a bit as you wait for Javier to join you. In your typical routine, it takes a few minutes, since you don’t want to be suspicious about him following after you.

Soon, the door’s reopening and closing behind Javier, and you can only see him lock it quickly before his lips are on yours. His hands instinctively reach for your face while yours tug at the collar of his shirt, your body pressing against his in its familiar way. When his tongue presses against yours, you let out a half-moan and half-grunt of disgust at the way his breath tastes strongly of smoke. Once you’ve both run out of air, you separate, and you let out a chuckle as Javier looks at you with puzzlement.

“You taste like straight up tobacco, Peña,” you tell him, coughing for dramatic effect.

Javier snorts and shakes his head, but a strong sense of guilt lingers in his dark gaze. “I’m sorry,” he apologizes sincerely. “I know you want me to stop—and I really should, I know—but I just… it’s been really… you know—.”

“Hey, take a deep breath,” you cut him off, running your hands over his upper arms to soothe him. Javier visibly starts to relax, and you watch as his chest rises and falls deeply. “I’m not gonna say it’s okay, but it’s understandable. You’ve had a tough few weeks.” Javier nods to agree, closing his eyes as he does so. You twist your lips, hating to see him so defeated. “Which is why I’ve planned something for tonight, after work.”

Javier reopens his eyes, and they fill with interest—even though his shoulders sag tiredly. “Do we have to go out?” he nearly whines. “I’m so tired. I’d rather just kiss you until I fall asleep.”

You giggle and run your hands over his cheeks. “I promise, it’ll be much better than that. It’s gonna be fun—and it’s just gonna be us. Dwell on that last little bit of energy you have left.”

Javier gives you a nod, unable to hide the small smile that grows on his lips. “Alright. I trust you, bella.”

“Good.” You pull his head down until it meets yours, giving him a quick kiss and leaning your forehead against his. “I’m gonna make this the best night of your life.”

Javier lifts an eyebrow. “Oh, really? In that case, I can already feel my last bit of energy coming out.”

You laugh, shaking your head as you leave your last kiss on the tip of his nose. “But only if you chew on some gum or something. I’m not kissing you again until all that smoke taste is gone.”

“Say no more.” You chuckle as you reach for your mug and start to head for the door, but at the last second, Javier reaches out to grab your arm. “Wait!” He pulls you back to him, leaving a soft kiss on your head. “Te amo, hermosa.”

You smile up at him. “Te amo mucho, cariño.” You then close the distance to the door, opening it and heading into the kitchen area where the coffee’s actually brewed. You pour your mug up and then return to your desk, going back to your work as if you’d never left it. Steve’s too dazed to notice anything suspicious, even as Javier returns and gets right back to his torturous papers. You bite back a smile when you see him open a drawer of his desk and pop a piece of gum into his mouth.

After one more hour of enduring the pain of endless paperwork, you’re finally free for the day, and you feel excitement pulse through you at the prospect of what’s to come. You leave before Javier does, further avoiding any suspicions of you both getting together later, and take up the head start you have to make yourself look as good as possible. You’re not one to put a lot of effort into your appearance—especially with the exhaustion of the past few weeks weighing on your shoulders—but the idea of getting Javier to relax and to finally reach a place with him you’ve been yearning to go pushes you over the edge.

When you think you’ve finished, you evaluate yourself in the mirror. You’ve selected a white long-sleeve wrap that ties just beneath your chest, showing off a clear part of your assets. Your jean skirt comes up higher on the waist and, thus, ends rather abruptly on the upper part of your thighs. You’ve pulled your hair back so it won’t get in the way, and you’ve applied a natural amount of makeup—enough to impress further without looking over-the-top. With a confident smile and a careful step in your heels that you don’t typically wear, you reach for your purse and start to make your way out of your apartment.

You pause at the front door, looking through the peephole to make sure the coast is clear. Once you’ve decided that all is well, you let yourself out and lock the apartment door behind you, hurrying over to Javier’s door as quickly and noiselessly as possible. Your knuckles knock against the door gently, and a few moments later it starts to open.

“There you are, bella—I’ve been waiting to find out what we’re…” Javier begins speaking, but he trails off when he has the chance to observe you. You’re sure he doesn’t realize that he’s stopped talking in favor of observing, but nevertheless the action brings the heat to your cheeks along with an overwhelming wave of confidence. His dark gaze moves down your body and then back up again, where he meets your gaze to reveal his pleasant surprise and ardent admiration. “… wow.”

You chuckle lightly, gesturing to the inside of his apartment. “Thanks, but can you let me in before someone sees?”

You don’t have to say another word before Javier reaches for your arm, getting you inside quickly and letting you kick the door closed as he pulls you to him. His lips are on yours before you can process it and you can already feel the tension building within him as his hands pull you as close to him as possible. You keep your hands idly against his chest, but his start to brush lower and lower until they’re ghosting over your ass—but you stop him, reaching for each of his wrists without separating his lips from yours. Javier, however, ends up doing it in his shock, his dark eyes searching yours worriedly for a moment. He’s always afraid he’s gone too far; he constantly asks you if what he’s doing is alright, because he’s faithful to his word of taking things slow. That knowledge only helps your smile to grow more.

“Not yet,” you say, assuring him that his actions are welcome in a different setting. “Not until we get to the bar.”

Javier winces, although you can see the excitement he holds in his gaze at the idea of getting to go out with you. “You make it harder and harder for me to not keep you here and kiss you all night,” he confesses. You laugh softly, taking his hands in yours as you take a small step away from him. “But the bar, you say?”

“Mhm,” you confirm, still smiling. “You need to relax. And I know that doing nothing isn’t your idea of relaxing, so… we’ll go dance.”

“Seeing you dressed like this also isn’t my idea of relaxing,” Javier breathes. “It’s riling me up.” He chuckles a bit as he sees you free one of your hands and use it to swat his shoulder. “Hey, don’t blame me!”

“Save it for the bar,” you emphasize, pointing towards his bedroom. “Go get ready so you don’t have to wait any longer.”

“Am I really the one who’s so anxious to go?” Javier jokes, and you shake your head as you start to shove him in the direction of his room. He lets out a laugh and finally gives in, walking into his room and changing out of his work clothes. Thankfully, he doesn’t take too long, and soon Javier’s reemerging with a sly smile on his lips. His wardrobe choice tells you why he’s looking so smug—his white short-sleeve button-up’s definitely undone a few buttons more than necessary, and his jeans fit tight to his slender legs.

You let out a whistle just to boost his ego, crossing your arms as you raise an eyebrow at him. “Stealing my look now, huh?”

“Hey, it’s all about the coordination, mi amor,” Javier reminds you, pulling you into his side as he gives your head a kiss. “That’s what’s most attractive about couples.”

You look up at him, smiling as you meet his gaze. Sometimes, you still find it hard to believe that you’re truly here with him again, living the life you’ve dreamed about for twenty years and even more. When he makes a comment such as that, you’re forced to remember that it’s real—and it never fails to bring you an overwhelming feeling of butterflies. “I like being a couple.”

Javier releases a chuckle, letting you go but taking your hand as he starts to lead you out of the apartment. “Me too, bella. If only I could brag about it to my teenage self.”

You bite back a laugh as he checks the peephole, only taking you into the hallway when everything’s safe and sound. Javier locks his door behind him and leads you out to his car, opening the door for you just like he did that night at the prom. Your heart softens as you wonder how many other parallels you’ll experience tonight—though you’re sure the dancing’s going to be much different this time around.

“So, I’m assuming that we’re going to the usual place?” Javier’s words snap you out of your brief love-stoned daze, fully grounding you by resting his right hand on your thigh as he starts to drive away.

“Oh! Yes.” You giggle, placing your hand over Javier’s. “Sorry, that was an important detail.”

“Bella, I know you well enough to figure things out like this on my own. Don’t sweat it.” Javier glances over at you to give you a smile. “Sometimes, I think we either both forget that we have thirteen years of previous history or forget that we spent twenty years apart in between then and now.”

You scoff at that. “I feel the same way. I guess it’s all just… a real shock. It’s hard to let it soak in.”

Javier hums in agreement, and then you both sit in a comfortable silence for a few minutes. Eventually, he gives your thigh a soft squeeze, and you look back over at him to see the ghost of a smile on his lips. “You know what this is starting to remind me of?”

“Hm?”

Javier looks over at you quickly, his dark gaze full of fondness. “Prom.”

Your eyes widen at him. “That’s exactly what I was thinking earlier.”

“Too bad I’m not in a tux. I looked good in that.”

“You look good in anything, cariño.”

Javier snickers, shaking his head as he gives your thigh another squeeze. “Don’t be such a tease while I’m driving, bella. I’ll pull over if you’re not careful.”

“Hey—what did I tell you before? Save it for the bar.” You chuckle and lean over to place a kiss on the corner of his lips that you can reach, seeing his brow furrow in frustration as he obviously wishes it could be a full one. “It’ll be worth it. But you have to try to relax.”

“I will.” Javier gives you a nod as he says the words.

Soon, the bar finally comes into view, and you swear you hear Javier thanking the divine as he finds a place to park. He takes your hand again only after he rushes over to your side to open the door, and you mutter something about him trying to be verraco as his hand gives yours a tight squeeze in response. You end up laughing as you step inside the bar, seeing it just as crowded as usual.

“Is there some kind of master plan you have here, or what?” Javier looks over at you, his dark gaze glittering more than it has in much too long.

“One drink,” you tell him, a single brow raised, “and then we dance.”

Javier raises an eyebrow back at you. “Just one? You brought us all the way to a bar for just one drink?”

“It’s about the dancing, idiota. I didn’t waste this outfit so I could get drunk and forget everything—again.”

Javier scans your body again upon referencing your outfit, and his hand snakes around the exposed skin of your waist as he pulls you against him. “I won’t let it go to waste, hermosa. Don’t you worry.”

You smirk up at him, gladly accepting your closeness as you both approach the bar. You order what you want and pay right away, continuing to stand nearby as you converse, laugh, and enjoy your drinks. You’re glad to see the visible weight on Javier’s shoulders fall away more and more with each moment spent talking. You know it’s possible to get him to that place of peace—you’d been able to do it so many times in the past, before Colombia and so much darkness—so you keep sticking to what you know how to do best.

Eventually, the conversation switches to what you hoped to address. “I don’t think I can take one more day of paperwork, Javi,” you say, and you can see Javier’s eyes beginning to darken as his shoulders visibly grow tense once again. Your heart breaks for him as you try to steer him away from the heavy thoughts and feelings that you know he’s experiencing. “But it could be worse.”

“It’d be much different if I’d gotten La Quica,” Javier mutters, that familiar sense of self-hatred dripping into his tone. You bite your lip, thinking through your words before daring to say them. Before you can piece them together, Javier sighs, his gaze falling to the empty glass in his hand. “I fucked up, bella.”

“I know you feel responsible for that, cariño.” You take a deep breath, placing your empty glass and his onto the bar. Your hands then fall on his shoulders, encouraging him to look at you as you continue. “I also know that no matter how many times I tell you that it’s not your fault, you’re not going to listen to me. So… let me offer something else.”

Your hands slide down his arms to take a hold of his, and you begin to lead him into the crowd of people who are already senseless and dancing the night away. You find a space where you won’t feel uncomfortable nor too isolated, still facing him as you wrap your arms loosely around his neck. Your hips already begin to sway to the music, and you’re not shy about letting them brush against Javier’s own as you keep speaking.

“Just think about it.” Your voice is hushed, but still audible over the loud music and chatter. Your eyes never leave his, which are starting to darken more in the way you’d like them to. “When all of this is over, when it’s just you and me one day, is that what you’re going to remember?” As you pause, your fingers start to play with the hair at the nape of his neck, and you feel his hands grip your waist even tighter as he roots you in place against him. “You won’t remember losing a chase. I’d hope that you’d remember moments like these more.”

You slowly move your hips right against his own. Javier releases a hiss at the sensation, one of his hands dropping low to grip your ass as he keeps you tight against him. You release a sound that’s mixed between a whimper and a moan, trying to stifle it to keep yourself grounded in what you’re trying to do for him versus what he’s doing for you. There’ll be plenty of time for that later on. For now, your aim is still to get him to relax.

“Just let… yourself… go.” With the pause between each word, you move against him, drawing yourself even closer to him until you’re chest-against-chest. “Focus on me.” You let one of your hands snake down to the large sliver of exposed chest Javier’s shirt offers you, and you brush it over the heated skin there as you continue looking deep in his eyes. “Focus on us.”

In a sudden and quick movement, Javier turns you around, placing your back against his front as he uses his hands to guide your hips against his. The feeling is enough to send you to an ethereal place, but you still try to remain focused on him as you both continue moving together. Dancing is a regularity for you both, something very familiar and common—but this is a whole different level of it. This is nearly accomplishing on the dancefloor what you’re aiming to do in bed. Yet, it’s also tender, as Javier’s grip never gets too tight and pulls you closer in the act of equal need and desire.

Perspiration begins to form on your forehead from the mixture of the humidity of the Medellín night, the crowded room, and the exercise of your movement. You could care less. You can see Javier’s own sweat glistening on his chest out of your peripherals. The heat of the moment grows the more it extends, and you’re more than okay with losing yourself inside of it. The constant feeling of him against you is driving you crazy, all while you still remain in that tender grasp of his.

It’s when Javier’s lips start brushing against your ear that you truly feel yourself falling away into the place of pleasure you’d been trying to save just for him. “You don’t know how long I’ve waited for a moment like this, bella,” Javier confesses, his voice low and hushed as he mumbles it into your ear. “Years and years of yearning for you, longing to love you first—and touch you second.” As he speaks, he takes one of his hands and brushes it up your front, until the palm of his hand sets itself on the center of your chest—just above the knot of your shirt. You stifle another moan.

“I’m all yours, Javi,” you breathe to him, turning your head to see your lips almost meeting his. Unable to hold back any longer, you use one hand to pull his mouth to yours. Immediately, you begin to devour each other—not willing to spare a single inch between you—as Javier spins you back around and pulls you tight against him. You lift one of your knees against his hip to close the distance even further, one of your hands remaining on his chest for support as the other runs through his thick hair. One of Javier’s hands holds your back as the other grips your ass, making you groan with delight into his mouth. The moment is more heated than any one you’ve experienced yet—and you know that it won’t be much longer until you’re resigning yourself to the experience you’ve been waiting for.

Once you’ve both taken each other’s breath away completely, you separate, panting as you stay close and look deep into each other’s eyes. It’s there—the same thing you’d seen all those years ago in the bed of Javier’s truck. You know you’re ready for it, but you can see the familiar way Javier resigns himself to stopping while you’re ahead. You move to reconnect your mouth and Javier stops you, putting his hand against your cheek to keep you in place. “If we go any further, bella, it’s gonna get dangerous.”

“Then I say we go and finish what we’ve started.” You say the words with severity, suggestion, and seduction, sinking your teeth into your lower lip as you wait for his response.

Javier’s dark eyes widen a bit, and he searches your carefully. “You mean…”

“You know what I mean.”

Javier’s thumb brushes over your cheek as he continues looking deep in your eyes. “Are you sure, querida? I don’t want to—.”

“You’re not, Javi.” You give your head a small shake at that. “This is what I want to do—and that’s why I brought us here. I wanted you to be able to loosen up here so that we can go and we can do this and you won’t have to hold yourself back.”

Javier’s eyes brighten a bit, and he finally gives in with a nod. “Alright.” He then separates himself from you, reaching for your hand as he begins to lead you out of the bar. You feel the anticipation prickling all over your skin, and the heat of the Colombian night doesn’t cool the fire you already feel within. As Javier begins to drive away, once again gripping your thigh with his free hand, you see him give you a quick look. “I just have to make a quick stop.”

You raise an eyebrow. “For what—?” You pause, suddenly realizing what he must be referencing. “… Oh, right.”

“Well, no, I have those,” Javier laughs, giving your thigh a squeeze. You try not to buck at the feeling as you chuckle with him. “I just—I want to make this as special as it should’ve been for your first time. Like a do-over.”

“A do-me-over?” you joke, and you giggle as Javier shakes his head.

“I’m serious, bella. I want you to feel the way you should’ve all those years ago.”

Your heart practically sings at Javier’s caring words, and you bite back a smile as you nod. “Alright, that’s fine. Just don’t be too long.”

Javier snickers. “Someone’s impatient.”

You pinch the skin of his hand that’s on your thigh, causing his touch to recoil for just a quick moment. “It’s been a few decades, cariño. I think I’m justified to this feeling.”

Javier continues to chuckle, suddenly pulling over and putting the car in park. “Give me one second, bella.” Javier gives your cheek a quick kiss before he steps out of the car and disappears into the darkness of the night. You let out a soft sigh, trying to think of what he could possibly be getting as you mind your surroundings. You’re not trying to let something happen to you just moments before reconnecting with Javier in such a way as this. That’s something he’d never forgive himself for.

It’s not much longer before he returns—with nearly a full bouquet of roses in hand. Your eyes widen in shock. “Javi—seriously?” You laugh, yet your chest is warm, and your stomach’s full of butterflies.

“Oh, c’mon, let me be a cheesy romantic for just one night.” Javier sets the bouquet into the backseat and starts to take off again, resigning his hand to its previous position. You remain in a comfortable silence for the rest of your short drive to the apartment building, absentmindedly running your thumb over the skin of Javier’s hand. When you arrive, Javier stops you from getting out, grabbing the bouquet and gesturing for you to give your key to him. “I have to set up.”

You shake your head, smiling as you reach into your purse and give him your key. He takes it and, with a quick wink, heads out of the car. “Be careful!” you whisper-shout to him. “Don’t get caught!”

“I won’t!” Javier assures you, heading inside of the building. You release a sigh, unable to keep the smile off your lips as you bask in all the effort and care Javier’s putting into this. You know that all those years ago, if you’d been honest with him, he would’ve done the same exact thing then. You’ll never be able to fully express your appreciation for the way he cares for you so tenderly. It makes all the years of waiting just that much more worth it. You’ve worked through nearly all your past problems and it’s been one of the most rewarding experiences you’ve gone through.

You’re so lost in your thoughts that you see Javier waving you inside what feels like moments later, and you look around before you emerge and run over to meet him. His hand meets your lower back as he guides you quietly over to your apartment door, where he opens it for you and lets you step inside first. You shake your head as you see the trail of rose petals he’s left going into your bedroom, and you can’t help letting out a small laugh as you look up at him. “You really went this cheesy, huh, cariño?”

“Only for you, mi amor,” Javier remarks, letting you toss your purse to the side as he brings your lips to his. He speaks through his kisses as he goes on. “But there is… one rule. You have… to kiss me… down the entire… trail.”

“You don’t have to ask me twice,” you breathe before keeping your lips firm against his. Javier lets you wrap your legs around his waist as he guides you along the trail he’s made, leading you closer and closer to your sliver of heaven for the night. He only stops when you reach your bedroom, letting you view the work he’s done. Your heart softens when you see the delicate way he’s spread some petals onto the bed, as if he’s aimed to make it a softer place for you to rest upon. Your smile is impossible to hide as you look into his dark and affectionate gaze. “Have I told you how much I love you, Javier?”

Javier returns your smile, brushing his nose against yours. “You have.” He leaves a kiss there. “I love you, too—and now I’ll prove it to you.” He brings you both over to the bed and gently eases your back down onto it, his lips reconnecting with yours as his hands begin to explore the same places they had all those years again. The skin that’s burned and ached for his touch for so many years can barely handle the sensation, and you’re already releasing your sighs of pleasure into his mouth as you begin to work on the buttons of his shirt. It comes off easily, letting your hands meet the smooth skin of his bare torso. Javier’s easily able to tug at the knot of your top, which you hadn’t bothered to wear a bra with, and soon that piece of clothing flies to the floor. Before you know it, there’s absolutely no type of barrier between you, and you’re feeling all of him against all of you as you drown in the addicting feeling of him.

Before he goes any further, Javier lets his face hover over yours, his brow knitted together as he looks in your eyes seriously. “Are you sure you’re okay with this?” Javier’s voice is soft, full of nothing but warmth, affection, and desire. You cup one of his cheeks with your hand, nodding before you pull his lips back to yours.

Reliving the moment that’s haunted you in the best and worst ways for so many years becomes better than you’d even remembered it. You can tell that you’re both better at what you do, now, and it elevates the experience as you suddenly become aware of how dangerously intoxicating this connection is. Javier’s hands continue to explore your body like it’s a piece of art, his mouth only separating from yours to give you praises and mutter his obscenities. It transforms from something slow and passionate to something fast and full of shared desire and desperation, as if you’re finally and fully feeling the true pain of the past twenty years’ separation. There’s nothing either one of you can say other than each other’s names, the moans and groans slipping past your lips along with it. In this moment, you don’t care who hears—all you know is each other, and as you reach that point you can’t return from, you swear you’ve never felt so complete in your entire life.

Moments later, with heaving chests, you watch as Javier collapses beside you and takes you into his arms, lavishing your head and face with kisses as your limbs tangle together. “Te amo,” he murmurs, his voice thick with emotion and truth as he rests his forehead against yours. “You’re incredible in every way, bella. Thank you for giving me a second chance.”

“I love you more than you’ll ever know, cariño.” You give him a quick kiss. “I’m yours now, and I always have been.” You then nestle your face into his neck, breathing him in as you feel him pull you even closer. Javier runs his hand through your hair, and your eyes flutter closed at the feeling.

“Don’t think of falling asleep yet, bella.” Javier chuckles before going on. “We have to make these roses worth their while.”

You raise an eyebrow, leaning back up to meet Javier’s gaze. “I’m down,” you agree, reconnecting your lips with his as you drown completely in the love you have to share—forgetting all about the world that rages just outside your window, ready to threaten whatever you try to hide from it.

translations:

Te amo, hermosa = I love you, beautiful

Te amo mucho, cariño = I love you so much, sweetheart

verraco = hot shit

collide tag list: @beskars @none-of-your-bullshit @gooddaykate @flower-petal-blooming @stilllivindue2spite @mrsparknuts @fionnthebandersnacc @pisss-offf-ghostt @gaydreamland @longitud-de-onda @literallytrashhhhhh @kkgraham @arrowswithwifi @rage-isaquietthing @awesomefandomsunited @bestintheparsec @murdermewithbooks @blushingwueen @rachelloveseveryone @madadlorian @ah-callie @mrsdaamneron @lokiaddicted @arcadianempress @benakenalove @wickedfrsgrl @pascalisperfect @absurdthirst @weirdowithnobeardo @lcandothisallday @sailorflowermoon @engineeredfiction @souls-rain @cailoleaf @unintentionalwriter @earthtokace @starwarsiscooliguess @xxlovingfandomsxx @theindiealto @mikahid @hiscyarika @burningsoulbloodyheart @youhavereachedtheendofpie @synystersilenceinblacknwhite @skdubbs @lukesrighthand @dinsdjarinwp @btillys @lostinwonderland314 @spxcedxdddy @charmantbarnes @ezraslittleblondestreak

permanent tag list: @mikahid @bestintheparsec @stilllivindue2spite @givemethatgold @xbrujita @mandalorianspace @blushingwueen @sevvysaurus @myakai13 @thisis-theway @beskars @rachelloveseveryone @theindiealto @hiscyarika @burningsoulbloodyheart @wickedfrsgrl @synystersilenceinblacknwhite @bookwafflefangirl @charliepeaceout @cable-kenobi @ezraslittleblondestreak @hdlynn

#them! they!#i love they #also reminder that spanish is only included to identify our reader without y/n!#javier pena #javier peña #javier peña x reader #javier peña fic #javier pena fic #narcos #narcos fic #collide fic #dindjarindiaries

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chilling-seavey · 4 years

Note

What if Florence and Daniel got into a fight bc both of them are stressed out worrying about money and taking care of the kids?? How would my OTP resolve their fight??? 🤔

This was lowkey emotionally draining to write...wowey. 3.3k words later, here’s some proof that Florence and Daniel’s relationship isn’t as perfect and flawless as it seems... x

Monday, November 4th, 2024

Daniel let out a heavy breath as he got into his car after another shift, having spent most of it with his supervisor never being satisfied but that wasn’t new. He turned on the car and connected his phone to Bluetooth to call Florence as he always did before leaving. Strangely, he was sent to voicemail but a text came through instead.

Can you pick up diapers on your way home?

He sighed and replied with a quick ‘ok’ before pocketing his phone and putting the car in reverse. Closer to home, he parked outside the drugstore and headed inside, rushing down the aisles to find the diapers and grabbed the biggest package before bringing it to the cash.

“$37.45.” the cashier said after ringing up the item.

Daniel waved his card and was directed to the machine. He typed in his pin and waited a moment only to be met with card declined: insufficient funds. The glance from the cashier made Daniel feel even worse and he cleared his throat nervously, brushing a hand through his hair before shuffling through his wallet to only be met with a $10 bill and a few loose coins.

“Sorry… I, uh, left my other card at home.” Daniel said softly before leaving the store empty handed.

He sat behind the wheel of his car and tried to steady his breathing after being unable to afford diapers for his baby daughter. After a few moments of trying to calm down and trying not to cry, Daniel turned on the car and headed towards home.

The apartment smelt like burnt supper when he walked in and the noise was insane, the baby’s piecing screams topping it all. No one even heard him come in. Daniel set his guitar case and backpack on the floor in the doorway to the living room, taking in the messy kitchen and loud TV with Clementine sat admits a pile of toys trying to watch it, Penelope on the couch with her face in a pillow and her hands over her ears as she cried, and screaming Lucy in Florence’s arms as the dishevelled looking mother tried to put the dishes in the sink.

“Hey.” Daniel finally spoke, earning the glances of Florence and Clementine.

Clementine jumped up and ran for him as if he was her saviour from the chaos and he picked her up with a tired grunt.

“What’s going on here?” Daniel asked softly.

“Mommy burnt the house down!” Clementine said with a giggle as Daniel carried her towards the kitchen, his eyes lingering on Penelope on the couch for a moment.

“I just burnt the lasagna a bit.” Florence sighed, wiping her damp hand on her shirt that was already covered in tomato sauce and baby drool. Her hair was pulled back but still almost completely falling out of its tie and her makeup-less face looked like she hadn’t slept in days. “Did you pick up the diapers?”

Daniel cleared his throat nervously, setting Clementine back on the ground to let her run back off to the TV, “No, my-”

“Goddammit, Daniel, I ask you to do one thing.” Florence snapped as quietly as she could, tossing the pan in the sink a bit too hard, making Lucy scream louder in her arms.

“I tried, I just-”

“It’s not that hard to remember. Your daughter needs diapers. We have, like, four left but that’s fine; when we run out I’ll just tie one of your shirts around her like a freaking monkey at the zoo.”

“Florence, what is going on?” Daniel asked at her obvious stressed out state.

“I had to pick up Penelope only an hour after dropping her off this morning because the teacher called and said she had a meltdown and wouldn’t relax and everything is setting her off today. The damn oven beeped and she lost her mind. Of course Lucy’s crying only makes it worse and she won’t shut up because she’s teething.” Florence pushed her finger in the five-month-old’s mouth to get a look at her swollen gums and the baby just cried louder. “She also pooped all over everything today which is why we needed new diapers earlier than planned because her personal nuclear bomb ruined half the things on the change table.”

Daniel watched with wide eyes as she rushed over to grab the last two plates from the dining room table and tossed them in the sink too before turning on the tap and letting the water run over everything.

“And Clementine is demanding that she gets this new set for her doll that everyone has at school. She won’t even hear of it for Christmas because she needs it now.” Florence continued. “And she keeps testing me! Judging everything I do like she’s the adult. ‘Mommy, the lasagna’s burnt’. Like I didn’t know!”

“Okay.” Daniel sighed softly, reaching over the counter to take the crying baby from her and made his way to the freezer to take the cold teething ring out and held it out to Lucy. “I’ll take the girls and get them ready for bed and then we can talk.”

“I don’t want to talk. I wanted you to get the diapers like I fucking asked.” Florence grumbled.

“Flora.” Daniel snapped sharply to shut her up.

His glare certainly helped, and she clenched her jaw before looking back to the dishes without another word. Daniel bounced the baby lightly as she kept screaming through the teething ring he desperately tried to put in her mouth as he headed back to the living room.

“Clem, angel, can you tidy up your toys and go get your pyjamas on please?” Daniel asked softly as he turned off the TV.

The almost six-year-old nodded and got up from the rug, starting to gather her things, “There’s a new set you can buy for my dolls, Daddy. It’s a whole car they can ride in and the radio even plays music! It’s really nice and all the girls in my class has it. I wanna get it so we can play together at school.”

“We’ll think about it.” Daniel said, trying to hold back his nausea from the harsh inset of reality. He wanted nothing more than to buy that stupid toy car for his daughter but it was no where near realistic. He set Lucy in her playpen with the teething ring before moving to tend to his middle daughter who was still face down on the couch with her hands over her ears. When he set his hand on her back she startled. “Just me, bug.”

Penelope rolled over, giving him a good look of her swollen red eyes and matted dark hair and tear streaked cheeks, and she held her arms up to him through a hiccup.

“What’s wrong, my love?” Daniel pouted as he bent down and scooped her up, the four-year-old cuddling right into him through her sniffles as he took her to her room to get her cleaned up for bed. He sung softly as he wiped her face clean with a damp cloth and got her into her pyjamas, something that always helped calm her down, and he took his time to help both her and Clementine brush their teeth and comb their hair before tucking them into bed.

Daniel grabbed Lucy for story time, all three girls cuddled up with him as he read them a bedtime story. Lucy fell asleep quickly, probably tired out from all her crying – same with Penelope – and he kissed the oldest two good-night before taking the baby down the hall to bed too. He let his eyes linger on the remaining three diapers in the basket before letting out a small sigh and took one out so he could change her into her pyjamas. Lucy was tucked into her crib with the teething ring beside her just in case and he pushed a pacifier past her lips, watching her for a second as she sleepily sucked on it for a moment, the plastic bumping lightly against her tiny nose.

The apartment was eerily quiet as Daniel closed the nursey door, baby monitor in hand, and made his way back down the hallway for a conversation he really did not want to have.

Florence had the kitchen cleaned up by the time he was back, and they shared expressionless glances as she closed the last cupboard.

“I’m sorry you had a bad day,” Daniel said, placing the baby monitor on the counter between them, “but you don’t need to take it out on me.”

“Maybe if you did what I asked, we wouldn’t have this problem.”

“I tried.” Daniel protested. “It was a hard day and to top it off my card-”

Florence held up her hand to cut him off, “You go to work to play music for eight hours and then come home to a good meal that you don’t have to cook. You have it easy.”

“Easy?” Daniel gaped. “Are you kidding me? You know how much shit I do in my job and how many late nights and early mornings and weekends I put into this. It’s no where near easy.”

“Oh yeah.” Florence chuckled humourlessly. “When you don’t have to lift a finger around here, leaving me to practically raise your children.”

“You think I like never seeing my wife or kids?!” Daniel frowned. “It was bad when Lucy was first born, yeah, but we even had a whole discussion and I got much more time freed up. But I can’t just sit at home all day with you guys, this isn’t a fairy-tale.”

“I know but you act like I’m a psychotic bitch when I let it all get to me! I got shit on today! And walked over and hit and kicked and bitten and screamed at and I burnt my arm trying to get the charred dinner out of the oven. You just don’t understand what it’s like to stay home!”

“You have no idea what it’s like to work! To go out and earn a salary! You could have gone to school and gotten a degree and then figured out what you wanted to do with your life but instead you chose to cruise off everyone else. You didn’t even pay for your first apartment! Callum did! You have no freaking idea the value of money!”

“I was raising my daughter.” Florence seethed. “Fuck you for even saying that.”

“You could have made it work.”

“Sorry I chose to focus on her rather than shoving her in daycare to be pretty much raised by a stranger for the first four years of her life. I didn’t have the money for any of that. I barely had money to put food on the fucking table half the time and you know that.”

“So get over yourself! Stop being so goddamn selfish if you’re so finically-aware!”

“Fuck you!” Florence shouted, walking around the counter as if she were going to leave the room but she stopped in the middle of the living room and turned back to him. “I get that you have to work and I am thankful that you even have a job, but a little compassion isn’t a lot to ask of you.”

“Compassion? Are you serious?” Daniel scoffed loudly, taking a few quick strides across the room to stand in front of her, shouting back his rebuttal, “I nearly wait on you hand and foot and I drop everything whenever you need me and for years I always have! I have done nothing but work my ass off for you and our kids and you still have the audacity to say that it’s still not enough? I work too much and now I don’t work enough and then I don’t ‘understand what you’re going through’. Well, dammit, Florence, what the fuck do you want from me?”

“I want you to care about other things than your work!”

“I already cut my hours! We’re nearly fucking broke, Florence, I don’t know why you can’t understand that! We literally cannot afford for me to lose one more hour a week! Last months rent virtually drained us and we are surviving on a $10 bill and my fucking shoelace right now! I’m pushed to the fucking brim half the time trying to get all the shit done so I don’t have to work overtime so I can still come home to you and the girls and all I’m met with is attitude and snark and an ungrateful wife who scolds me like my goddamn mother when I walk in the door!”

Florence didn’t reply for a beat and the silence lingered heavy over the apartment. Her eyebrows furrowed first before her face scrunched up in anger and she jabbed a finger in Daniel’s face before yelling, “Fuck you! I am not staying home just to make you a supper and serve you a beer in a pretty pink dress and heels with a face full of makeup and a fake smile when you get in from work. This isn’t the 19-fucking-50s! I am allowed to have emotions, Daniel James, and right now you are tugging at every single last one of them! How dare you say these things to me!”

“You are freaking out for no reason!” Daniel shouted louder to top her. “You’re twisting everything I’m saying! Do you even hear yourself?”

“All I can hear is you being a selfish and ungrateful son of a bitch!” Florence screamed, throwing a couch cushion at him.

“Throwing things at me? Real mature, Florence. Real fucking mature! God, why don’t you understand?!” Daniel shut his eyes and threw his hands into his hair and tugged hard to try and rid his frustrations. “You’re so naïve sometimes, you drive me fucking crazy!”

They were already even listening to each other anymore, simply off on their own tangents trying to out-volume the other. Daniel and Florence didn’t fight often, priding themselves on their open communication, but everything eventually hits a bump and when they did, they really did.

“Just go play your pretty music, Daniel! Make some pretty music with your friends and put it online for everyone rave over and shut up. I’ll be here taking care of and being hit like a punching bag by your children.”

“You know what, I would appreciate it if you stopped fucking accusing me of being a shitty father because I have a job! I have been trying my best and if that’s not enough for you then I don’t know what to tell you!” Daniel put his hands up.

“What? You’re gonna leave?” Florence laughed humourlessly, throwing her finger in the direction of the door. “Fine! Go on! Wouldn’t be the first time! Leave when it gets hard Daniel!” She cut her screams, leaning in closer to him to whisper sharply, “Just like Matt did.”

Their fight seemed to echo through the apartment as silence fell again, her angry expression still glaring at him as his face melted into neutrality.

“Don’t say that.” Daniel said softly, trying to each for her.

“Don’t touch me.” Florence stepped back before walking quickly down the hallway.

“Flora, I’m not gonna-” Daniel started after her but the slamming of the bedroom door startled him to stop in place. He took a deep breath and ran his hands over his face to try and calm down, leaning back against the wall of the hallway. It was surprising that the baby wasn’t crying given the fact they just had a ten-minute-long screaming match.

Daniel composed himself enough to open the girls’ bedroom door and peak in, finding them both huddled up together in Clementine’s bed, frightened looks on their faces.

“Hey, my loves.” Daniel sighed, sitting himself on the side of the bed. “I’m sorry if we scared you. Mommy and I haven’t been talking as much as we should have been, and we got a little crazy. Do you forgive us?”

Clementine and Penelope nodded. Daniel kissed each of their heads and got them tucked in again in their own beds.

“No more yelling tonight?” Penelope asked.

“No more yelling.” Daniel promised, smiling sadly between his two eldest. He couldn’t help but let his gaze linger on Clementine a moment longer, remembering the night Matt walked out, leaving nineteen-year-old Florence and baby Clementine alone and a mess in their small apartment. She stared up at him with those same blue eyes he always remembered, and he gave her an extra kiss on the cheek, staying with them until they were drifting back to sleep, “Daddy’s not going anywhere.”

Daniel found himself back outside the master bedroom door with his hand on the knob and his forehead against the cool wood, taking slow breaths to keep himself calm to try the conversation again. He finally opened the door and slipped inside before closing it silently behind him. The light was on in the ensuite and he stopped in the doorway.

Florence glanced up at him from where she stood in front of the vanity brushing her hair. She silently turned back and continued what she was doing.

“Come here.” Daniel whispered, stepping closer and gently pulled her arms down from her hair to wrap around his shoulders and he tucked his own tightly around her waist, peppering a few kisses over her cheek and across her shoulder. “I love you. So fucking much. Even when you scream at me and swear at me and throw things at me.”

Florence sniffled a little, holding him tighter. “I love you too.”

“I’m not going anywhere, okay?” Daniel rubbed a hand over her back. “No matter what.”

“I’m sorry.” Florence mumbled, wrapping her fingers around the material of his shirt and buried her face in his neck.

“I’m sorry too.” Daniel sighed. “My card got declined today. It scared me.”

“What?” Florence leaned back with concern, holding her hands on his biceps to keep him close as she stared at his flushed face.

“$37 for diapers and my card was declined. I felt like a fucking idiot, like an absolute joke of a father…can’t even buy the necessities for my kid.” Daniel sighed, turning to lean back against the counter and hung his head. “I don’t know what we’re gonna do, Flora. I’m scared.”

“I know.” Florence mumbled, petting her hand through his hair. “Maybe we should talk to someone? Get a budget figured out until we get back on our feet. Worst case scenario, we ask your parents for a bit of a loan. We’re not going to lose anything from this.”

Daniel nodded, biting his lip as he stared at the floor, fingers holding tightly onto the edge of the counter behind him.

“I’m sorry.” his voice broke and he struggled to hold back a small sob, quickly hiding his face in his hands.

“Oh, sweetheart, it’s okay,” Florence frowned, wrapping her arms around him to let him cry against her shoulder, “I know how hard you work. You’re such a good dad and an amazing husband. I know you’re trying your best and I also know it’s slowly starting to destroy you.”

Daniel whimpered as he nodded, clinging onto her tighter through his tears as he muffled a sob into her neck.

“I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you.” Florence sighed, running her hand up and down his back. “I took my own shit out on you. I needed any excuse to yell, I guess.”

“Better me than at the girls.” Daniel chuckled lightly, pulling back from their hug a little to wipe his eyes with the back of his hand.

“I love you.” Florence said strongly, taking his face in her hands. “$0 in your pocket or millions. Doesn’t matter. Don’t you forget it, okay?”

Daniel nodded and leaned in to kiss her once, lingering there a moment longer before pulling back.

“Now no more tears.” Florence said, taking a deep breath herself as she started to feel herself start to cry. “There have been to many tears in this house today.”

#daniel seavey #why dont we #daniel seavey imagines #why dont we imagines #why dont we music #anything but mine #imagines

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crushedbyhyperbole · 4 years

Text

Promises - Chapter Nine

Chapter Summary: Round two of their second tumble in the sack and Bucky's resolve swings like a weather vane in a storm. When the sex is amazing but you're terrified you'll lose it all, what's a guy to do?

A/N: This is the last chapter of the Belated prologue section, and also of the smutfest… for now. Next chapter will be back to present day, following on from chapter 1.

Warnings: Sex, smut, oral sex, angst, more than likely some bad language - it’. me were talking about here. 18+ only please!

PROMISES MASTERLIST | MAIN MASTERLIST | MOBILE MASTERLIST

Belated Prologue Part Eight - Satisfaction

The still air was cool and refreshing against the damp skin at his nape, and the smoke from the cigarette warmed his lungs in perfect contrast. The sun had already started to lighten the sky to the east, turning black into Prussian blue.

There was no traffic, no people, no signs of life other than the early chorus of birds anticipating the oncoming day. It was peaceful there, outside her apartment building with his foot jammed in the door to keep it open. He imagined briefly that he was the only person left on earth, like maybe they’d all been snatched away to the rapture or something, or that he’d been transported into a parallel dimension where he was the only inhabitant. The world certainly felt that empty.

He drew another lungful of smoke deep, feeling the light spread of warmth and rush of chemicals in his blood. Smoking was something he’d picked up in the army but now he smoked as little as he could; just a few a day, and during stressful situations or if he was drinking.

It was safe to say that he was stressed. The whole sex thing with Izzy had him walking a high-wire of jubilant completion versus the stress of failure and loss. If this thing between them collapsed, no promises of ‘friendship first’ would save them.

You can’t think like that. You’d do anything to keep your friendship alive.

So would she.

Would she though?

Of course she would.

Pulling one last draw from his cigarette, he pitched the butt into the gutter. He held the smoke in for a few seconds before blowing it out into the night and heading back inside.

Thankful for the gum, Bucky packed a few of the minty pieces into his mouth and waited for the elevator. He wondered if Izzy had fallen asleep yet. He honestly wouldn’t mind if she had. Bucky had already shared more intimate moments with her than he ever thought he would. Not more than he hoped, because he’d lived with these feelings for years, but he never thought he’d be able to have this, or anything close.

Knocking on her door lightly before turning the handle, his heart quickened in his chest. Nervous again and feeling a little on edge, he stepped in to see in her fluffy robe behind the counter in the kitchenette, making a sandwich.

“You hungry?” She asked, looking up and doing a double-take.

Something about him or the way he was looking at her made her stop.

Bucky could see a small piece of the black lace he knew she wore and his mind was right back to the moment she’d uncovered herself for him.

He was hungry alright.

“Not for sandwiches.” He strode to her, taking the butter knife from her hand and leading her towards the bedroom.

There was something else he’d had a taste of that he wanted. ‘Next time’, she had promised him. Well, this was next time. Bucky descended into that mental space where he’d found his alter ego, James. James was the kind of man who took what he wanted and, although Bucky knew he couldn’t completely be that man, he filled as much of that role as he could. That separation from himself that was just enough to make this ok.

“Bucky, is it not too soon? Are you-?”

“James.” He corrected her with a raised eyebrow, chastising. By way of an answer he took the hand he still held in his grip and stroked it across the front of his jeans.

Her eyes widened in surprise. “That quick?” She was both shocked and pleased.

“That quick.” He was almost smug about it. “Ditch the robe.” He instructed firmly.

As soon as she was stood in front of him, in that lingerie, all he wanted to do was strip her. Bucky’s dreams of savouring each and every touch were overridden by James’ animal desire to have her naked and at his mercy.

Bucky freed himself of all his clothes and stood before her, hard and eager. He fingered the thin strap of her thong, tugging it out only to let it snap back viciously against her hip. She seemed to enjoy the sting so he did it again, causing her to bite down on her lip in a stifled but nonetheless audible moan.

“Bra off.” He said, sliding his fingers into the cup to retrieve the blue packet he stashed there earlier.

She obeyed, watching his face as he watched her free her breasts, sliding the straps down and dropping the garment at her feet. Her breasts were perfect. Firm yet soft, ample but not too large, perky nipples inviting the kind of teasing she seemed to enjoy so much.

Bucky shoved her back onto the bed where she made a surprised squeak and flailed until she bounced on the mattress. He tugged her thong down and dropped it to the floor with her bra. He hovered over her, dragging his hands down her body, giving those soft pink nipples just enough attention to make them erect before kneeling on the floor at the foot of the bed.

She resisted when he began to part her knees.

“Relax.” He half whispered to her as he stroked the tops of her thighs.

“I should shower.” She didn’t look at him, or couldn’t.

“I know you’re nervous.” He said, and there was no shame in that. She’d never had anyone go down on her before, she was bound to be unsure. “But there’s no need.”

Her hands went to her face as she blushed. It was really quite lovely how this woman he’d known almost all of his life could show him a vulnerability other than any he’d seen from her before.

“Just let me start okay?” He slid his fingers between her clenched knees. “Count to thirty and if you don’t want me to carry on then I’ll stop, okay?”

All Bucky wanted was the chance to show her how things could be if she was with him, how he’d make her feel amazing.

“Do we need a safe word?” She said, still hiding behind her hands.

“I dunno, do we?” Bucky teased her, chuckling. The prospect that maybe they would need one in the future gave him a little jolt of excitement. “You can always just tap out.” He tapped the top if her thigh three times.

“Okay.” She heaved a deep sign, exhaling slowly to compose herself.

Bucky slid his hands between her slightly more relaxed thighs, separating them gently. He shuffled forwards into the space he created as he hooked her right leg over his left shoulder and flattened his left palm against the soft plane of her stomach, just above her pubic bone.

“Focus on the feeling.” He placed kisses up the inside of her thigh, closer and closer to where he wanted to bury his tongue. “Stay out of your head, okay? I’ll be good to you, I promise.”

He winked at her and she laughed. A nervous but light giggle. It was short-lived.

Bucky braced his hand on the inside of her left thigh, to keep her from clamping down on his head, as he delicately drew his tongue up over her smooth labia, tasting the sweet yet salty fluid that had already started to collect there. The subtle musky scent of her added to the experience, and the sharp tang of rubber from the condom earlier went unnoticed after the first few passes of his tongue.

They moaned together, him losing himself in the sweet heat and subtle spasm of her core, and her trapped in the pleasure he was supplying with nothing but his tongue.

Mentally he counted to 30, half expecting her to be overcome with embarrassment and tap out early but she didn’t. At around the 25 second mark he kissed her clit, sucking gently and circling his tongue loosely, catching the sensitive bud there a few times. She gasped and thrust her hand into his hair, gripping tight she bore down on her own emptiness.

40 seconds and she hadn’t stopped him. Grinning, he continued until she was practically grinding against his mouth, all wet and needy. Her smooth and hairless cunt pulsed in appreciation of his attention.

Christ, she was sexy as hell. How could he ever go back to just being friends after this. He wanted her so badly, needed her almost as bad as he needed air to breathe.

She came apart, crying out some incoherent prayer in a gasping moan that sent a spasm right down to his cock.

“Ohmygod!” Her words ran together in a slur as she came back to herself. “I never thought…” She giggled.

Smug, Bucky leant down one last time to suck a kiss against her swollen clitoris, earning himself a secondary cry as she bucked to get away.

“I know you don’t have anything to compare it to but I hope that wasn’t too bad.” He was being falsely humble. He knew he’d renewed her faith in men giving her oral.

She laughed, spluttering into a cough.

“Slight understatement.” She choked out when she stopped coughing. “I’m not all that good at sucking a dick but I’ll do my best.”

As Izzy repositioned herself so she could sit on the bed and have his cock at face-level if he stood, Bucky reached to stop her.

“Next time.” There was a promise there. “This time was for you, to make up for no one ever taking care of business for you.”

“Right.” She blushed. “That’s awfully generous of you.”

Bucky knew she intended no sarcasm there, but her tone… was she annoyed?

“Giving the poor neglected damsel all of the pleasure and taking none for yourself?” She flirted. “Selfless.” She mothed the last word almost silently as she smirked.

“I wouldn’t say I got nothing out of it.” Bucky stood up, confidently, lifting her hand to his throbbing cock.

He was solid and unyielding in her hand, skin stretched taught, a deep blush shading the weeping tip.

He sighed heavily as she stroked him gently. Too gently. He wanted friction, needed to feel her tight around him.

She licked her lips and leant forward, pressing a delicate kiss to his swollen head.

She kissed the tip!

He chewed his lower lip, a dilemma churning behind his adoring eyes. Let her continue? Or keep to his promise of ‘next time’?

Izzy parted her lips, kissing him less chastely, if laying her lips on his cock could be classed as chaste in the first place. A gentle lick of her hot tongue and his eyes fluttered closed. Her tongue trailed lazily around the ridge, slowly teasing him until pre-come beaded at his slit and she dipped the tip of her tongue into the opening to taste him.

She moaned, opening up and letting him slide over her tongue and into her mouth where she sealed her mouth and sucked him deeper. Her lips stretched around him and she drew pleasure from him in a torturously slow tease.

“Jesus, Bella…” Her requested title gave her more power over him, he thought. There was something supernatural about them together, like this. Something in the way her big green eyes met his that had his balls tightening.

She played her tongue over his most sensitive areas, using her hand now to stroke where the absence of her lips left him neglected. He ran his fingers into her hair as he watched her, so sexy and confident.

Then she did something different. He didn’t know what exactly but it had him seeing stars.

Nope! Not gonna last long like this.

“Ahhhh… ‘m gonna have to stop you there or this’ll be over too soon to be good for you.” Bucky wasn’t embarrassed, it was merely a fact. She should know what she did to him, not many women had affected him like her, no other women, in fact.

Gently he extracted himself from her mouth and then her grip. The cool air in contrast to her warm mouth was enough to cause an ache.

“It’s already been good for me.” She wiped the corners of her mouth with the delicate swipe of her index finger. Even that was sexy for fuck sake. “Great, I mean.”

“I can’t have you thinking that I’ve got no staying power, not so soon into this thing. It’s a matter of male pride.” He explained with a teasing tone. It was unnerving how easy it was to talk to her like this, as if their friendship had already grown to adapt to this new addition.

Bucky thought then that this would be what a relationship with her would be like; open and trusting, completely honest and full of respect for one another, while still being playful and full of fun.

“What about how it makes me feel, knowing that I can affect you like that?” She flirted.

You do! Jesus Christ knows you do! If you could only see into my head you’d know exactly how you make me feel, because god knows the words can’t come out of my mouth. Promises I made to you and to myself, they’re like chains I chose for myself just to keep you with me. If only…

Bucky knew she was teasing him, playing a role in this thing they were doing together, just as he was playing the role of James, she was Bella, her own alter ego so to speak.

“Trust me, I’m already weak at the knees.” He gave her his most charming smile as she got up to use the bathroom.

Bucky had started to go soft by the time he reached for the condom.

“Can I help you with that?” She had this cheeky smirk that made him want to fill her mouth with his cock just to wipe it off face.

He ran his hand into her hair, smoothing it back from her face as he silently guided her forward. She eagerly took him in hand and licked a long broad line all the way up the underside of his waning erection, swirling her tongue around the tip before flickering it firmly over him creating an intense sensation that had the blood rushing back with an almost painful speed.

Bucky allowed her to continue for a few more moments. “I think you might have told me some fibs.” He drew her off him and tore open the blue packet.

“Oh?” She stood, turned and knelt on the edge of the bed, telling him what she wanted from him with her actions alone. “What did I lie about?”

“You said you weren’t good at giving head.” He rolled the condom down and smoothed out the kinks before stepping up behind her and stroking his hands across her perfectly presented ass cheeks.

“I’m not.” Izzy looked at him over her shoulder. “Maybe you’re just easily pleased.”

The tip of his sheathed cock rested at her entrance as he pondered her statement. That wasn’t it at all. He could come quickly if he needed to but no one had ever driven him to the edge when he’d been trying to hold back.

“We’ll see.” Was all he said before he thrust forward firmly with an even pace.

She was tight in a different way like this, bent over with her hips and ass up in the air. The angle of her passage was different and it felt amazing in its otherness, pulling on his cock, bending it down slightly.

Soon Izzy was clenching down on him, making him feel like he was pushing through treacle, the force of her muscles against him created such intense pressure that he felt his orgasm building far sooner than he wanted.

She gasped as he thrust faster, disrupting the steady grip and relax of her walls as he brushed against her pleasure centre. His hands firm on her hips, pulling her pack against him harder and faster. The slap of his hips against her ass and the backs of her thighs was verging on obscene.

Bucky wasn’t going to last like this either, but luckily neither was she. With on hand gripping her shoulder and the other splayed on her spine between her hips, he fucked her ruthlessly. The louder she cried out the harder he pounded her until she uttered a low moan that sounded almost animal in nature. She pulsed and spasmed around him as he threw one final thrust into her, feeling the burst of bright ecstasy behind his eyes and in his cock as he came brutally hard.

Their joint grunts and moans subsided as they slowed, riding the last dregs of pleasure, feeling it seep away leaving lethargy and heavy limbs behind.

Izzy collapsed forward with her arms tucked under her and her ass still arched up, she just lay there panting. Bucky had to admit that was a sight he would never forget. Her core looked red and swollen and still twitched from the occasional aftershock of her orgasm, he’d fucked her good and proper.

He grinned, elated.

The silence was a little awkward as he picked up his things and disappeared into the bathroom to clean up. The buzz of his post sex glow tingled all over his body. He’d had great sex before and was pretty competent when it came to finding his way around a woman’s body but sex with Izzy was mind blowing. There was an extra level of connection there, his feelings towards her definitely contributing. He had no idea how he was going to keep the sex and love separate. It wasn’t her problem though, he’d promised himself never to burden her with his baggage, never to tell her how he felt and ruin everything.

Bucky and Izzy fell back into their friendzone interactions easily enough once they were both dressed. It felt comfortable now, the level of detachment clearly working for Her.

I can do this. He told himself. Be with her like this. I can do anything for her.

It wasn’t difficult for Bucky and Izzy to continue their friendship as it had been and also maintain their dirty secret. After the first few sex-filled weeks they found a routine where a few times a month they’d arrange something more clandestine than the usual nights out or dinner dates with Steve and their mutual group of friends. They were careful and no one was any the wiser.

Izzy was the first to pick up a boyfriend and so she and Bucky stopped their friends with benefits arrangement. It only lasted a few weeks before Izzy was calling it off, stating that the new guy just didn’t ‘do it’ for her. Bucky couldn’t lie to himself, he was jealous of the new guy but kept it to himself. He was secretly very pleased to hear that the now ‘ex new guy’ hadn’t survived the 2 month mark. There were others but Izzy’s longest relationship since she’d first slept with Bucky was only 3 months.

Bucky tried seeing other women but he found that non of them compared to Izzy. He mainly used the opportunity to make sure she didn’t think he was catching feelings, and also to take a step back when he was feeling overwhelmed with his unrequited love for her. His longest relationship was 9 weeks.

Bucky knew how fucked up it all was, the hollow relationships and leading women on when he couldn’t love them, but it was working for him, working for Izzy. He worried that if she thought he was falling for her that it would scare her off, so for over three years they maintained their status quo and he hid his feelings as he had done all of his teen and adult life.

Nothing ever stays the same, however. It’s the very nature of the universe to drive change. Entropy – chaos from order. It was only a matter of time before things came crashing down around him.

#bucky barnes fan fiction #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes x ofc #friends to lovers #bucky barnes fic #marvel fanfiction #smut #bucky smut #cloudy's writing #promises

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mrsbhandari · 4 years

Text

Artsy As Fuck - Screwdriver

Author’s note: HIIIII I def didn’t expect this to happen but here we are

Word count: 1527

Warnings: language, HEAVY SMUT, name calling, hate sex, the usual

Summary: Colt and Roze overcome some of their differences...kind of.

Tag list (which im very excited about as I’ve never had one!! Let me know if you’d like to be added or removed :))

@omgjasminesimone, @edgiestwinter, @bucketofsoup, @donutsgirl36, @desireepow-1986, @lovehugsandcandy, @troublemakerinspace, @client-327

Masterlist

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Colt’s next call from the professor came a few days after his ‘date’ with Roze. They had barely texted in the time they’d been apart, which was fine by him. He thought she was pretty, but annoying in how headstrong she was. He was trying to help her and what does he get? Albeit, he was mostly doing it for selfish reasons.

Everyone in the world is selfish. I’m not a bad guy. He shook his head. No use thinking about it now. He was fiddling with his bike, trying anything to make it go impossibly faster, when he heard his coworker Logan speaking with someone near the entrance to the garage. Just the sound of his voice set Colt’s nerves alight, but after seeing Roze talking to him with a flirty smile tugging at her lips, he swore his sight went red for a second.

“‘Scuse me, pretty boy,” Colt interrupted, throwing his screwdriver aside and wiping his hands off on a clear spot on his overalls that were folded over on his body, revealing his sweaty tank top and a little bit of his boxers. Roze’s eyes raked over him, but she didn’t seem impressed.

“Buzz off, Colt, I’m with a very important customer,” Logan shot back, sending a cheesy wink in Roze’s direction.

“Don’t worry about censoring yourself around her; Roze swears like a sailor.” If Logan was upset about Colt already knowing about Roze, he didn’t show it. “What are you doing here?” Colt turned his attention to her.

“Going to class. You’re modeling, remember? We’re doing dynamic positions with clothing today.” He hated to admit it, but the way her eyes lit up when she spoke of art made his heart flutter.

“You’re cute and an artist? Wow,” Logan piped up, prompting a scoff from Colt as Roze smiled at his coworker again.

“Roze, come with me. I need to make sure Mr. Smooth here keeps his greasy mitts off you.” He didn’t wait for a response before turning on his heel and walking down the hallway to his room, expecting Roze to follow. She reluctantly did, but complained when they got to the room together and shut the door.

“What’s wrong with Logan?”

“He fucks anything with a pulse.”

“Your point?” Roze gave him a playful glare when he stammered and snapped his head to look at her laying casually on his bed.

“I--I have to take a shower. Think you can keep it in your pants that long, or should I get Logan in here?” She laughed, sending another shock to his heart when he stepped into his small bathroom connected to his room. He kept the door cracked. “Weren’t you the one who was the most blushy when you saw me naked?”

“It wasn’t because you were naked, it was because you were hot.” Roze could feel the snark about to exit his mouth, so she quickly shut him down. “Then I heard you speak and changed my mind.”

“Oh, please, admit it: you think I’m sexy.” Colt’s voice carried over the steady stream of water from the shower. She didn’t respond, electing to take in her surroundings instead. His room was dark and macho, sparsely decorated besides the few posters tacked to the wall behind her. She recognized her own drawing of him from when he fixed her car and she stupidly ruined her chances with him when she was so nervous and everything that came out of her mouth was unintentionally hostile. She looked closer and realized that he had also pinned the gum wrapper she gave him and the receipt from the diner on the white space around her original picture.

Is he just sentimental? She thought, confused as to why he would keep so much in their limited time together. This isn’t going to last forever. Is he just trying to be convincing? Just in case?

The water turned off and Colt entered the room a few seconds later, naked except for the towel slung low on his hips, revealing a deep v-line and rippling muscles. Her eyes traced the dark path of hair under his navel until it disappeared under the fabric. “Why did you come so early? Class isn’t for another hour.”

“This was our first time doing the whole ‘arrive together’ thing, so I wanted to give us enough time.”

“You scoff when I call you uptight, and then you do something that proves my point.”

“Shut up.” She said it with no malice, looking instead at his exposed body that was sending heat directly to her core. He was annoying as hell but God, was he hot. He noticed her staring, the hard gaze making his dick twitch under the towel.

“See something you like?” he teased, feet pattering over to her on the bed before he could convince himself not to. She stiffened on his blanket, waiting for him to do something. When he made it clear that the ball was in her court, she sighed, eye level with where his towel was hiding his hard-on.

“Not really.” She tried to feign apathy, but couldn’t stop her breath from catching when Colt dropped his towel, exposing himself completely to her. He took a handful of her long hair and pulled her head back so that she was looking at his face with her neck exposed. He grew impossibly harder at the low moan she let out from the rough treatment.

“Wanna try again?”

Her breathing and heart rate quickened as she looked back down at his dick in front of her with half-open eyes, taking it in her hand and wrapping her lips around his shaft without a second thought, prompting a loud groan from Colt, whose hand was still tangled in her hair. He set a brutal pace, gasping when his tip hit the back of her throat and brought tears to her eyes.

“You don’t like what you see? Well, how about what you taste, slut?” he said, pulling her off him and leaning down to give her a bruising kiss. He originally aimed for her swollen pink lips, but tilted his head at the last second to press it to her neck, suckling at the skin. “I’m not allowed to kiss you, remember?” Her hands clawed at his back, sure to leave marks that the art students would probably include in their drawings. Roze pulled away from him and stood from the bed to undress, berating him as her pants and shirt fell to the ground.

‘You’re such a fucking asshole and I can’t believe I actually let you talk me into this whole fake dating plot, you cocky bast--!” He cut her off with a hard bite to her bare shoulder as soon as she was naked, his cock pressing into her stomach as he walked her backward to the wall before picking her up by her thighs. She wrapped her legs around his waist and pressed her head back to the wall, overcome by the perfect feeling of his lips on her earlobe. Without warning, he pushed into her and let out a groan. “My pussy too good for you, Kaneko?” He answered with a rough thrust that left her gasping and incoherent.

“I should ask you the same thing about my cock, whore.” He punctuated his degrading nickname with a thrust and nipped his teeth into the sensitive skin behind her ear, causing her to moan loud from the combination of the feeling and the names. She screamed as he hit the perfect angle inside her, shocks of pleasure shooting up her spine. He grunted and let out a shaky breath as she clenched around him, feeling his release building and coiling in his stomach. Dropping her, he briefly pulled out of her and brought her to his empty desk, ignoring her whimpers when he bent her over so her breasts were pressed into the wood. The angle Colt thrusted at somehow made her louder, obsessed with finding her pleasure. She matched him thrust for thrust, screaming again when he landed a heavy hand on her ass.

“That’s right, scream for my cock, baby,” he called and the stark contrast between the sweet term of endearment and her quickly reddening ass sent her over the edge.

“Colt, fuck!” Her nails dug into the wood beneath her as she climaxed, spasming around his dick. Feeling his own orgasm approaching, Colt pulled out and flipped her over so her back was on the desk and he was standing between her open legs. Running a hand down his shaft, he sent thick ribbons of his cum over her body, painting the tan skin of her stomach and breasts white. The sight of her body covered in him as she panted almost made him come again, but he managed to control himself. He found it harder to handle when she ran an index finger into the sticky liquid, coating a digit and sucking it clean.

“Salty,” she mused, still breathing hard.

“Jesus--”

“Agreed.” Colt’s fingers were gripping her hip, sure to leave bruises to accompany the ones on her neck.

“Wanna shower? We’ve still got half an hour.”

“Fuck yes, asshole.”

#colt kaneko #colt x mc #colt choices #colt rod #playchoices #choices #choices rod #rod #ride or die #a bad boy romance #fanfic #fiction #fanfiction #fic #n*sfw #artsy as fuck

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benbantz · 4 years

Text

Week 17 with long term Covid

Hello to anyone reading this, those I know and those I don’t.

Had Covid 19 now for 17 weeks (or suffering after effects of covid, how ever you want to word it.) Point is had/have Corona and it’s still kicking my arse.

So since my recent facebook update (after being pretty quiet on social media for a while) a couple of peeps have messaged me asking about my symptoms and stuff as (apart from the first 2-3 weeks) I haven't really gone into any detail I just sort of say 'having rough week' or 'things flared up again' etc etc. Without going into too much detail about anything specific. So for anyone interested, and because people have been curious and asking - and as you’ll see is far to detailed to explain person to person (and want to spread the word about long haulers as a lot of people struggling) So it’s just easier for me to have it in one place. For myself more then anything. And if you get anything out of it then that’s great.

Things are just starting to come out about long haulers in the media and on the news and I know people are interested to learn a bit more about it all. So while I’m having a not too bad a time last couple of days I’d thought it’s a good a time as any to go thru all my symptoms. Get them typed out for first time.

And maybe it will be helpful to someone who randomly comes across this post - (thou please don’t use as a guide), every case is different, a lot of similarities and cross overs , but ultimately different Just because someone you know might be having a rough couple of days or experiencing a couple of these symptoms it could be something completely unrelated to covid. (Make sure you check with your GP or call 111 if you think you have covid symptoms long term or otherwise.) I am not a Dr.

Here's a list of everything been going on with me over last 17 weeks. Some experiences have been completely new to me so very hard to explain , some descriptions may sound a little odd , but hopefully you get idea of what I mean! (Also sorry for any grammar mistakes....I dropped out of English A level)

Those who come across this and don’t know me personally know that while this is a (mostly) serious (but hopefully uplifting) post I’m very sarcastic and use dumb humour to deflect from how shit life is at the moment! :-)

So first thing of the bat I'll explain is I've realised in recent weeks it's been easier to think of it as good and bad days/weeks rather then getting better/worse (as in first 10 or so weeks when I thought of it as 'it's getting better' and got in that positive mindset, the kickbacks have obviously beaten the piss out of me mentally as well as physically, as I've had about four big relapses now where I thought I'm on the right track, having a good couple of weeks then bam, I seem to go back to square one for no real apparent reason. So when I say bad day I'm describing when everything amps/flares up again, A few more symptoms go up and the volumes up on high,and likewise a good day is when things seem to be moving in right direction again and I get a bit of a break.(So now I just appreciate them when they come and try make most out of them.) A good day isn’t a symptom free day by any means, it’s just better then the bad ones.

OK so on to my symptoms.

Specific Areas

Chest - Since the first evening it kicked of early March my chest has felt like a giant has had his hand around it - that’s non stop, constant (told you my explanations were weird.)

On the better days it's a very light grip I can get on and do things to a point, but I am always aware it's there. On a bad day it's grip tightens and he squeezes (or his fingers press into a couple of key areas - been pressing on my back a lot last few weeks.) - That’s been non stop and has not gone away since beginning. Thou I do believe its starting to ease a little.

- Chest pain - A shooting pain in my chest (slightly different from description above, feels more like its needles on inside of body. Thankfully these are uncommon, they pop up if I push myself a bit too far one day or if I’m having rougher week.(And it’s not heart related)

Lungs/Breathing - Haven't felt like I've taken in a full lungful of air since beginning, I take a deep breath but only feels like I'm taking in 80- 85% ish (on a good day) 65- 75% ish (on a bad day) - This is week 17 numbers btw, take maybe 10-15% off when it was at worst. I think the best way I can describe it is it feels like there’s a filter or a sieve/strainer at top of lungs, on a good day there’s more spaces available to breathe thru (but still there’s a filter) and on a bad day more spaces close and I'm breathing thru less.

*Thankfully bar the first week where I had to get paramedic out, I haven't been gasping for air, I've certainly had to just lay and just concentrate on only breathing a few times because the filters have closed up a lot more (in the night mostly) especially where my bodies relaxed and I've woken and panicked short of air. Yes that’s as terrifying as it sounds.

- The air I do take in doesn't feel clean or fresh (best way I can describe it is when you go to a zoo and they have a indoor Rain Forrest/safari area .... very that lol) That was constant the first 12 or so weeks (even when getting fresh air outside) thankfully that’s eased a little and not so prominent, still doesn't feel like I’m breathing in fresh air but its not so hot and stuffy and noticing the difference when I go outside now.

Throat/Mouth - Burning/inflamed mouth - This is by far been the most uncomfortable/hardest for me to ignore and just get on with day to day stuff, from maybe week 6 to week 14 it was pretty much non stop burning mouth and throat (Call my mum Khaleesi because I was spitting fire.)

Whole inside of my mouth and down my throat was just inflamed/swollen (felt like I had a golf ball stuck down there) and burning hot. The last couple of weeks its eased I don’t wake up with it (unless i’m having a flare up/bad day) It's still very on/ off but thankfully not constant like it was. And have since learned that high histamine foods make it worse - same with my chest and few other things, (so choc, dairy, alcohol, fizzy drinks ...my diet essentially ) So have cut most of them down/out. Ice lollies have been my savior on hot throat days. - Marble in throat - Another hard one to explain, it feels like there’s a marble sort of sized ball of phlegm that I constantly need to clear. (OK maybe not that hard to explain - also sorry for the gross imagery.) But not enough mucus coming up to warrant the feeling, it’s irritating more then anything - but a few weeks ago was probs golf ball sized, so again improvement! - This sort of ties in with with the inflamed mouth, but the first thing to flare up on bad day is my tongue, feels tingly most of the time anyway but more so on a flare up/bad day. - Same with my teeth / gums and the tingly sensation, (my teeth constantly feel like that sensation when you have some orange juice after brushing your teeth.) Sensitive/fuzzy I guess. Not particularly bothersome or concerning...just weird.

Nose

- This is probably one of newest ones, nose has felt hot(on and off)/bunged up for last few weeks. (But I know its not if that makes sense) I guess you could say same as lungs - not breathing in a full nose-full of air either. - sorry again for gross TMI but any mucus or boogers are clear (like almost see thru clear/never been cleaner clear) - Phantom smells - A really odd one, I smell smoke and gas a lot, not just smell it, it feels like its in my nose and my mouth - especially smoke, almost like I’ve eaten it sometimes (non smoker in smoke free flat btw). Was a lot more prominent in first few weeks ,so much so that before I realised it was a symptom I had my carbon monoxide alarms checked because it was making me paranoid I could smell smoke/gas. A bizarre one for sure. Pops up randomly now and again.

Eyes - Last couple of weeks have been getting bit of blurry vision and sore or dry eye , I'm already blind as shit so hard to tell in terms of blurriness how bad this one is, but def finding it harder to concentrate on one thing for too long (but that sort of ties in with brain fog - which i'll get to) but pretty sure once this is done with and I go to opticians will likely need a stronger prescription (some other long haulers who never had eye problems before are now having to wear glasses) No idea if that’s a permanent one but hopefully i’m at peak of it.

Ears - My left ear has felt blocked pretty much since start (or like it needs to pop some days) Most the time I can ignore it but can be quite distracting if it kicks up a couple of dials.Which is likely why I get ear ache in same ear often as well.

*Also for most the things listed above it has always been worse on my left side of body, lung, eyes, ear, headaches.

- Tinnitus (correct word for ringing in ears right?) Usually kicks in early afternoon or on bad day. Varies on strength depending on the day I’m having.

Head/Brain - Brain Fog - So the sort of very basic science behind this is because my lungs aren't producing enough oxygen my brain knows this, so is lending them some to help out...but because of this it means I’m experiencing what is known as brain fog (I don’t know what its actually called, likely has a better more official sounding name) - my concentration is very low, i’m finding it hard to retain things and concentrate more then usual. (not been up to reading or watching something new for month or so as I just cant focus on it) Also been getting odd words muddled or confused (but the bar wasn't the highest with me on that front ha ha)

Been dropping things when I think I have them in my hand. I do however think this is improving (The fact that I have typed this out with just a couple short breaks so far is much better then two weeks ago when I couldn't even focus on a computer game for more then half a hour) so as my lungs improve so does this or vice versa on flare up. *Edit - This whole post has taken a couple of days to draft and type up, so not too bad in terms of needing breaks etc.

-I'm also constantly aware of my brain... like I can feel it all the time (I literally cant explain that any other way lol, I guess its just heavier at moment so I can feel it against my skull) best explanation I think you'll get from that one. - Have a headache most the time (so much so that I sort of forget it’s there.) Thankfully most the time there mild/low and I can forget or distract myself but like everything else if I'm having a bad few days it goes up a notch. Likely connected to the brain fog.

Stomach and Lower abdomen - Period pains - only way I can explain it, generally thought after nearly 10 years without them it was messing my body about so much I was getting phantom periods. (I’m a transgender man, 4+ years on testosterone, for anyone I don’t know who comes across this) been there done that, brought the t-shirt.. then sent it back because it wasn’t for me! Very strong and painful on and off for first eight weeks, get the odd twinge now and again but think that ones done with, thank the gods. - Stomach Pains - Few aches and pains on /off, and recently experienced what felt like needle/stabbing pain for short while in short bursts - and I only really mention stomach because I haven't had the widely publicised 'covid shits' (yet, touch wood... or cloth) So yay!

Heart - Palpitations - First 8 weeks was on and off most days to the point if I was sat still my heart would be palpitating. (I couldn't even sit and listen to music I enjoyed as it would make my heart go mad.) - When I do get the palpitations it sets most things off, so if palpitations do start I generally know I'm about to have rough couple of hours or days and can’t do much, for obvious safety reasons. Thankfully these have subsided a lot last 6 or so weeks. Still get them every few days but generally know whats setting me off and how to lower them down and they don’t last as long.

Hands and Feet - Skin been very dry last couple of months, cracking and peeling on hands and feet (ew) - Pins and needles/ numb fingers and toes - Get this a lot, obviously very normal stuff but just find them coming on a lot more (especially if i’m holding something like my ipad, phone or xbox controller for a while) Fingers feel numb/puffy a lot too. (Likely also why I keep dropping things) - Also to tie in with skin, have had a on /off spots on chest, face and shoulders for few weeks, they all came up at same time, not irritant or itchy or anything, just there.

General/Other weird things - Voice - So this is one that frustrates me the most, I have had next to no voice for last maybe 10 weeks. I just cant chat to people at moment. For first 4 weeks wasn't to bad (I even started a youtube channel to keep me occupied and distracted) but slowly week by week it went a little bit more each time. I can talk for short periods of time if I have to/choose to ,like its not gone completely, but it kicks up all the things I mentioned in my throat and mouth directly after. If the phone rings I have to decide if it’s worth answering, in doing so knowing i’m going to have a rough day or so after. Someday’s I feel it's better then others like couple of weeks ago, chatted to my brothers online on xbox for half an hour or so for the first time in weeks, and caught up with a friend on phone for 10 minutes...but a couple of days later everything flared up again. So it's still trial and error and just being patient with my voice. (I'm quite confident no long term damage is being done now as few people in group i’m in reported there voice just eventually got better over time.) Definitely the symptom I’m having to be most patient with. - Fatigue and tiredness - My days now are normally diddily done by 4-5, (except if its a bad day then most of the day is a write off) No matter how little or much I've done, by 5-6 my body and mind are exhausted. As someone who has insomnia, pre covid I would maybe have 1-2 all nighters every ten or so days sprinkled in with 5-6 days of at most 3-4 hours sleep. In the last 17 weeks I have had just 3 all nighters, and maybe just under ten 3-4 hour sleeps. Otherwise i’m getting at least 5+ hours a night. This is the one covid thing I'd like to keep please lol. I think it's easing a little (most the bad night sleeps have been in last month) and on good days tiredness is kicking in a little later, or it's taking me a little longer to drift off. But generally am cream crackerd a lot of time, especially if I push myself too far on a bad day. - Loss/Increased appetite - This sort of ties in with what I mentioned earlier about different foods causing set backs, the first 6 weeks I had no appetite and lost a bit of weight (I do put a lot of this down to extreme worry and stress thou) Then I went thru a phase of being very hungry for a few weeks and put most of the weight I had lost back on. I'm somewhere in the middle now, probably because I know most of anything I eat will set me back a little (because as mentioned fussy git = high histamine diet) so i’m cutting portions (otherwise known as the amount of cheese I add to everything!) and cutting out all most junk food (you’ll never part me from my crisps!) and non healthy drinks.

- Bloated and dehydration - This one I sort of put in pencil because it could be covid related but I also think it could be side effects from the brown asthma inhaler I was prescribed to help with breathing. I’m still undecided as it pops up especially when I was using inhaler more but it does happen days after I’ve last used it. At it’s worse I was getting up to pee a lot! because I was thirsty all the time. So of course was just very bloated around the belly.

*Also talking of peeing, (Great segway Ben) number 1′s and 2′s have been very different then normal, urine thicker and bubbly,and smells/is coloured different, (same with 2′s) Also have a completely different body odour at the moment,(pungent) having to use deodorant twice as much as normal. - Admit it your life’s a little bit better now you know that information.

- THE HEAT! - I touched on this with my mouth and nose being on fire, but for the first 10-12 weeks I did not go a day where at least a couple of things were not burning hot ,like hot to the touch as well, not just inside...(very different experience then having a temperature). Extreme heat in one very specific part of body. Ears, forehead, cheeks, chest, back, nose, mouth,throat to name a few of prominent ones. Over time they have faded (if something does feel hot now its generally not hot to the touch anymore.) Maybe on a bad day a couple of things will burn up. (But in saying that, been calling today a good day but nose is quite hot) but point is its better. - Mood swings/Anxiety - While i’m fairly confident anything emotional has stemmed from experiencing...well everything you've just read. Rather then it being its own symptom (thou I have had days of uncontrollable crying, days of anger..that perhaps outside of covid I would still of had one of those days but just not to such a extreme, I think with everything going on its just amped that emotion and anxiety up.) it's obviously been very stressful and anxiety inducing. That’s only calmed down in last week since finding the facebook group of other people going thru the same thing. I'm now seeing that people are slowly improving, i'm seeing I've not been going mad and it's all very real and not just happening to me. So the bad days are easier to deal with now and not hitting me emotionally like a ton of bricks anymore. I honestly couldn't see the end of the tunnel two weeks ago but can see it now (even if I take a step forward one day but then 2-3 back another...I see it still.)

*Mushy moment Alert - A good a place as any to include while I'm talking about emotion - Even thou she probs wont see this,but want to mention my mum. She’s been my rock thru all this, she messages me at least twice everyday without fail, since day 1. Even thou I know she's been worried sick about me herself, she's reassured and calmed me down on the harder more stressful days. I dread the mornings when things have gone downhill a bit and having to tell her ,because I know she'll worry, but after a few texts we both end up sort of reassuring and calming the other down. (especially in the earlier days when it was really bad, scary, new and unknown.) When it was really getting me down for a while and I wanted nothing to do with anything covid related and just stay in bed and pretend this wasn't happening to me, she dug out the articles and tips and things to help or give me a boost. (Not to mention all the coming and going she and my step dad have done for me last 4 months and taking care of my shopping for first 9 or so weeks...because I was a useless mess of a human) I know it’s basic mum stuff but this would be 10x harder and lonelier without her. Random detour I know but can’t talk about my covid experience and recovery without mentioning her.

Almost looking forward to sending her the first 'Everything normal today' text as much as I look forward to experiencing it....almost. ;-)

Amount of Symptoms On A Typical Day

On a good day - (when I think virus was at it's worse in the first 10-14 weeks) - 4-6 symptoms ( 2 or 3 cranked up to a medium or high otherwise on mild)

On a bad day - At peak/worse - 6-10 symptoms (throat, chest and no voice on high volume, maybe a couple of things like palpitations and brain fog, heat on medium/high, other weird stuff on mild/low)

Good day - Now 17 weeks in (excluding my voice which is still a medium to high issue most days) - 3-4 Symptoms on low to mild - usually there’s something still simmering on a medium always ready to turn up to a high if I push it too much in terms of walking or talking. (often my chest) Bad Day (Now) - 4-7 Symptoms - 1 to 3 on medium (maybe a couple will kick up to high on first day of a flare up, but generally now for shorter periods of time.)Everything else on mild or low.

So there has def been improvement in last 6 weeks, i’m sure it wont all be plain sailing and I know/prepare to expect another 'flare up' and then a bad few days. But recently instead of the bad days being 2-3 weeks of it constantly, the duration is getting shorter each time (last bad few days was just under a week) So things are slowly improving, and i’m sure in time so will the amount of symptoms and the strength of each symptom.

I've probably missed a couple of silly/odd little things that have gone on (likely because they were so early on or very brief (or I’ve forgotten) - fever and nausea to name a couple. When I got my notes together these were the main ones that came to mind. Quite a lot actually sitting back reading them, and I think the scary (but good) thing is, x-ray came back fine, bloods came back fine. People have had MRI's, camera’s down there throat, most coming back fine. Covid just not showing up on any tests(unless someones suffered further complications with something) - hence why a lot of people struggling to be taken seriously by there GP's or even loved ones who think there just 'exaggerating’ or its just ‘anxiety and stress'...no living with all what you just read causes anxiety and stress Mary!

But yeah could waffle on, once its definitely gone and I breathe and look back I can perhaps get a better overview of everything and give you better analysis of all that’s gone on. I get asked 'so when do you think it will be gone?' almost as much as 'are you better now?' To the first question, meh I don't know, I'm now into month 4/week 17 (well month 5 if I include last couple of days of Feb when I believe I caught it and had the very mild cold early March) still a lot of things going on with my body, some new things could still pop up, so instead of saying 'I think it will be gone by..' ,like I did in the first weeks. I'm just taking it week by week (or day by day if it kicks up a notch) not making any big demands of myself or my body, doing what I can each day....but not pushing it. Instead of the sad, anxiety inducing thought 'when will it go' or the one all us long haulers worry about a lot ‘Will it ever go?’ I now try to think instead 'it will go!.'

To any fellow long haulers I say hang in there, keep fighting, trust your body and that it will get better. Take it day by day. Stay as positive as you can when everything 'flares up again' after a couple of weeks of good progress (easier said then done I know) but know it wont be forever as much as it feels like it is. Don’t be afraid to ask for help (I hate going to Drs would much rather just 'get on with it' , but from pestering a little I got a blue inhaler which has helped me a lot day to day,and had x-ray and blood tests which also put my mind at ease when they came back clear. So don’t be afraid to ask to get these things checked if you’re worried. I've been lucky with my GP's thou who I think have generally believed me and taken me seriously and I know not everyone is getting that help or respect. I think it’s really not helped us that in the early days people were stubbing their toes and thinking they had caught covid and calling their Dr’s (I’m exaggerating but hopefully you get my point lol), so if you do get a not so helpful interaction, be patient,explain yourself or try again with another Dr, remember a GP will only advise you symptom by symptom and not as a whole. Anyway I’m repeating stuff you already know by now lol.

Stay positive. Stay hopeful and stay safe.

To anyone else, believe us, know this is very real, and that it absolutely sucks. Its not just anxiety or in our head. We're not exaggerating - in fact most of us are probably playing it down or just not elaborating on things for an easy life and because when someone asks 'are you better now?' it's easier to just smile and nod and answer 'getting there slowly' because the truth is...well what you just read lol. (And I'm a particularly mild case...next to no coughing, no spells in A and E, a breeze for a lot of other people with long term) Keep yourselves safe (most long haulers have no previous medical /problems/conditions. Some ,myself included, have weakened immune systems due to a long term health condition. A unlucky few are fighting another long term medical illness as well as covid. I'm lucky in that I have no dependants (except 4 easy to please gecko's) and was not working prior to catching it - some are having to deal with all this and be full time parents, or have been to and fro with their jobs (thinking there better then relapsing after going back). There’s mums messaging on behalf of there young kids who have it, lots of young people (one of the lads that co runs the group is 22 I believe), there's athletes/health fanatics used to running miles every day been completely knocked of there game unable to even walk to end of road some days. People of all age ranges. Point is anyone can catch it, it might not just be 'a couple of rough weeks' It might take over half a year for you to recover from. This myth that it's short and sweet, or a walk in the park if your young and healthy needs to be squashed because its just not accurate.

If not for my mum and our family and the facebook group I found, (Positive path of wellness - Covid UK Long Haulers) I'd be struggling, really struggling. It's scary, brutal and lonely. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. The virus is still out there it has not gone. Keep sanitising hands and wear a mask in busy places!. - Tell the guy who's life this has been for 17 weeks, why wearing a mask in public places, to keep yourself and others safe from catching this nightmare, is a inconvenience for you Karen...go on, I'll wait...

Maybe you can help prevent yours or someone else's next few months from being even worse. x

Was going to just make this a one time post on tumblr account but if it’s a help to anyone (especially fellow long haulers) I’ll post some other bits and bobs when i’m up to it. (thinking of doing a post about things/products etc that I think have been helping me. If that’s useful to anyone) Or just some positive/ funny things to keep spirits up. Keeping it all positive and upbeat as possible.

So I’ll see if anyone reads this first and go from there

So I guess in conclusion ...lol I’m just joking, this post is really done now, go back to your lives, this garbled mess of self woe (worlds smallest violin is back in its case now), sarcasm and naff humour has taken up far too much of all of our days already. Go peacefully amongst the things. :-)

Stay safe everyone x

#covid-19 #covid19longhaul #longtermcovid #coronavirus #coronalonghaul #covid 19 symptoms #corona symptoms #long haul covid #covid long haulers #covid recovery #covid uk #corona uk #corona long haulers uk

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valkyrieofsmut · 5 years

Text

Bucky’s cookies

Descriptions: Bucky misses some things about his past; his mother’s gingerbread cookies are one of the things that always had happy memories associated with them. He can’t recreate them, but it does lead to an opportunity to create more happy and memories.

Types: Fluff, romance, smut

Prompt: “You made gingerbread zombies?”

Warnings: Fluff, smut

Words: 5746

A/n- This is my other story for my Christmas challenge for @devilbat, I had so much crazy and depressing stuff happen over the holidays, and it is taking a long time to fully recover. I hope you all enjoy the (insanely) late (and not so) Christmas story!

Masterlist

Story!

Bucky pulled the cookie sheet out of the oven, his brow dipping in irritation. The tray landed with a slightly louder than intended noise on the stove, and he turned to the pile of ingredients on the other counter.

After mixing more dough and tossing the last batch of cookies onto the waiting plate, he pressed the slightly sticky dough into the pan and put it back into the oven.

He was glad that it was later than the other residents of the tower were awake; he didn't care for the others to see him looking like an idiot, unable to make a single batch of decent cookies. Bucky folded his arms and leaned back against the counter, sure that he was getting flour on the back of his shirt and sweatpants, but not caring.

The timer finally dinged, and he leaned over, grabbing the towel from the top of the stove and using it to pull the pan from the oven, quickly taking the cookie cutter to the still pliable dough and pressing the shapes into it. His flesh hand twirled the spatula as he waited for the dark cookies to cool, and when he figured that they had enough, he took the spatula to them, scooping them from the pan.

Except, of course, that the cut out cookies were still stuck to the rest of the dough in the pan.

Bucky frowned again, pressing gently on the cookies, but they didn't come free. He pressed harder, and, again, of course, the cookies came free, but also free of their arms or legs, a couple from their heads.

(Y/n) adjusted the strap of her tank top, taking a swig from the water bottle in her hand, ruffling her drying hair as she headed through the short hall leading from the elevator to the kitchen.

She spotted Bucky glaring at the counter, his arms crossed over his chest. "Hey, whatcha up to?” she asked, taking another drink and setting the bottle on the counter.

"Nothing,” the sullen super soldier grumbled.

(Y/n) looked over at the cookies littering the pan and plate, cocking her brow. “You made gingerbread… zombies?” Bucky made a disgruntled noise as he glared over to the cookies, muttering something about how they were more trouble than he remembered them being when his mother had made them.

(Y/n) picked one up, looking it over before taking a bite. “Mmm,” she hummed, her eyes closing in enjoyment. Bucky felt his gut tighten at the sweet sound, and he was distracted by her moving toward the counter and fussing with the frosting he'd had set out to decorate the finished cookies. “They’re good, but I think that they're too thin,” she commented as she mixed more color into a small bowl of plain frosting. Bucky didn't answer, just listened to her move as he stood against the counter, his arms still crossed tightly across his chest.

She began frosting, setting the cookies down as she went, only putting a bit of the one color she had on them as a base. “If we frost them like zombies, it'll look like they were meant to be like this,” she told him, and Bucky looked up to see the green, slightly gray, frosted cookies. “I've had the same thing happen before, only, it was a house,” she chuckled as she carried on, and Bucky again felt his gut tightening, after all, there was a reason he had feelings for her, even if they were secret. And one sided.

“Yeah?” Was all he could say.

(Y/n) hummed in agreement, pulling out another butter knife and holding it out to him. “Wanna help?”

He took the knife and started on the cookies as she started mixing other colors. “What happened to the house?” Bucky asked after a moment of comfortable silence.

“Hm? Oh, so, I kept trying to fix it, reinforce the walls and roof with the extra pieces of gingerbread, but there was no saving it. After it fell down for the third or fourth time, I just said, the hell with it, and “glued” it steady with the frosting the way it was so it wouldn't slide around.”

Bucky looked up at her with a raised brow. “So it was a collapsed house?”

(Y/n) shook her head. “No, I had gotten some really nice and colorful candies to decorate it with; orange slices, gum drops, some little gummy bears to be the people, even a couple of little gummi snowmen to stick in the pretend yard. So, what I did was take all the red, yellow, and orange candies, and make it look like the house was on fire and had burned down. I put the gummy bears like they were staring at the burning house, put a snowman, bit a couple of them to make it look like it had melted, you know, just made the best I could with what I had.”

The corner of Bucky's mouth quirked at her resourcefulness. She probably would have fit in just fine back in the forties. “Sounds like something you would do,” he murmured, getting more frosting and trying to remember what the zombies he'd seen in a move the group had made him watch looked like.

(Y/n) just chuckled and worked on the cookie in her hand.

Finally, they finished the cookies, letting them sit, spread out across the counter so the frosting would stiffen a little and be less likely to smear.

Bucky had kept glancing up at (Y/n) through their whole time together, and as a result, he had a strong urge to kiss her.

(Y/n) turned to him, smiling as she dried her hands with a hand towel, and he saw a speck of frosting on her nose.

Bucky leaned closer and (Y/n) felt her heart skip a beat as his hand lifted toward her face. His thumb twisted as it wiped over the bridge of her nose, catching whatever had his attention on the back of it. Instead of taking his hand back, though, it slid over to her check, brushing over the quickly heating flesh.

Was it just her imagination, or was his face getting closer?

No.

It wasn't her imagination; he was getting closer.

Somehow she could tell, even though her eyes were locked on his. Maybe it was that she could just feel his warm breath brushing over her cheek, or how anticipation seemed to build in her chest. Whatever it was had her stuck, waiting for what was coming.

Bucky's lips brushed against hers, the lightest touch that sent a jolt of electricity along her nerve endings, telling her body to be ready for what was coming next. His lips pressed gently against hers, and (Y/n) tilted her jaw up, bumping into him a little more as her eyes closed. Bucky's head lowered to properly kiss her, his head tilting while his hand slid along her jaw to bury his fingers in her hair.

Something hard but soft was under her fingers- no; hard, muscled chest, covered in a soft shirt. Without realizing, she'd dropped the towel in her hand and her hands had gone to his chest.

Bucky's other hand touched her side, sliding down to her hip, touching her softly, as though worried that she would object. (Y/n)'s hands slid up around his neck, and Bucky's hand moved around to the dip in her back, pulling her closer.

A light, tender moan left her throat, and Bucky pulled her tighter against him, his hand going to her butt as he pressed his hips against hers. A delighted sigh fell from (Y/n)’s mouth as Bucky's tongue entered her mouth, rubbing along hers and beginning to dance with it.

(Y/n) lifted up on her toes as she pressed against him and felt the edge of the counter against the back of her thighs, just under where Bucky was cupping her butt.

Heat was starting to build in Bucky's stomach, fueled by the taste of (Y/n)’s mouth, flowing down toward his groin and filling him with desire.

The same heat was building in (Y/n)’s chest, making her breasts start to ache for Bucky's hands to touch them. She instead arched her back, rubbing her tightening nipples against his hard chest through their clothes.

A low sound like a growl grew in his throat, and a matching whine left her as he held her as close as he could and his hips pressed into hers.

Bucky pulled back, letting out a hot breath and leaning to give a nip under (Y/n)’s jaw. “(Y/n), should we- do you want to move somewhere more private?” She looked up at him, her lips kiss swollen, her eyes dark with lust, and nodded. Bucky let out a sigh of relief and lowered his lips back to hers, getting both of them lost in the kiss again for a moment before he pulled back and took a deep breath, grabbing one of her hands and pulling her with him as he started to his room.

As soon as they got to the elevator and the door closed, their lips found each other again, keeping the heat between them as they traveled. The door opened and they stumbled down the hall to the door of Bucky's room, fumbling for a moment to open it without taking their hands off of each other.

They made it inside, kicking the door closed, and immediately pulled Bucky's shirt off, tossing it away to the floor.

“God, so much for me to touch,” (Y/n) gasped out, her hands going to his chest.

The corner of Bucky's lips turned up in a grin, a flash of the Brooklyn playboy he'd been in his past life showing through as he wrapped his arms around to put his hands on her lower back, kissing her as his fingers nudged under the edge of her shirt and brushed over her back.

His hands moved up to the band of her bra, sliding around her ribs and down her stomach, then up to cup her breasts through her bra, gently massaging as he kissed along her jaw, and down her throat. He pulled her shirt over her head as he met it, and continued to her cleavage, hands returning to massage her breasts.

(Y/n) moaned, her back arching as she pressed her breasts into his hands. Her hands started pulling at her bra, and Bucky's went to help her, tossing the thing away as he looked down and moaned at the sight of her topless in front of him.

“Oh doll,” he groaned, his head ducking down so he could lick over one nipple and wrap his lips around it. (Y/n) moaned, arching again at the feeling of him sucking on the sensitive bud. Bucky put one hand on her back, holding her so she didn't fall as he licked and sucked at her nipple, his other hand going to the back of her thigh, pulling it up around his hip and lifting her from the ground.

(Y/n) suddenly felt the softness of blankets under her back and opened her eyes as Bucky pulled back from her breast, seeing the ceiling when he moved to the other. His hand slid out from under her and ran along her body to her other breast, stroking and massaging it, rubbing the palm of his hand around the soft mound and the tight nipple.

“God, Bucky,” (Y/n) moaned, her hips pressing up against the obvious bulge of Bucky's cock against her wettening heat.

“Mm, doll, you're so fuckin’ delicious,” he told her, his tongue circling her nipple. The hand on her thigh ran up and cupped her hip, pulling her against him as his hips pressed down into her clothed heat. (Y/n)’s hips arched up, and his fingers curled around the band of her work out pants and started tugging them down.

Bucky's lips traveled down her body as he went, his tongue flicking out over her stomach and making shivers run along her spine. His lips kissed down (Y/n)'s thigh, reaching her knee as he pulled her pants from her and tossed them away.

He kissed his way back up her other thigh, running his warm, wet tongue over the sensitive inner skin.

(Y/n)'s hips bucked up toward him as he nipped the sensitive flesh, then nuzzled over to her panties, giving a soft nip every so often between the nuzzling.

“Doll, you smell so good... I wanna eat you for breakfast, lunch, and dinner,” he groaned into her panty covered pussy, making (Y/n) moan in response, at both his words and the pressure of him pressing his face into her sensitive heat. Bucky moved up, his body covering hers again as his mouth found its way to one of her breasts.

“Bucky,” she moaned needily as his tongue played over her nipples. First just around the areolas, teasing them until they were tight, aching little peaks, then flicking against the very tips, brushing lightly over them until she was squirming for more and little desperate whines were leaving her throat. “Bucky, oh Bucky- you fucking tease,” she moaned, and he chuckled against her, suddenly taking her whole nipple into his mouth. (Y/n) gasped and arched at the hot feel of his lips around the bud, and his tongue rubbing over it, pressing it to the backs of his teeth.

The moan (Y/n) let out was so sexy, it had Bucky's already stiff cock twitching and his hips pressing into her. His hands went back to massaging her breasts, the fingers of one hand taking over for his lips as he kissed his way to her other nipple. (Y/n) moaned louder, her breasts pressing harder to Bucky as the massaging intensified the feeling of him playing with her nipples, licking, sucking, pinching and rolling them, moving back and forth to give them equal attention and make them both on edge, begging for more, but neither getting quite enough to satisfy the need in them.

“Ahh, B-Bucky,” (Y/n) gasped, “please, oh- please-!”

Bucky groaned, pulling back down to kiss her panty covered slit, his fingers hooking the band and pulling them off so his lips could brush her hot, bare, skin.

A gasp escaped her mouth, encouraging Bucky to lick up her outer lips. He groaned and licked them again, his hands going to her hips to keep her still as he licked. His tongue probed between her swollen lips, swiping up to graze her clit before flicking back down.

“God, doll, you taste so good,” Bucky rumbled as he pulled back, his hands going to spread (Y/n)’s pussy for him to look over. “Look as sweet as you taste.” He buried his face between her thighs again, letting his tongue slide up and down a trail from her opening to her clit and back, pausing to press against the tight hole, and circle the sensitive bud at the top.

“Oh, Bucky,” (Y/n) sighed, her hips twitching up to him.

Bucky's tongueing became more insistent, sliding up to flick back and forth, over and around her clit, making the little nub tighten, reaching out for more attention from the warm muscle teasing it. Bucky's open mouth pressed into her, closing around her folds and pulling back to let them slip back to her. (Y/n) sighed his name again, her hips trying to get closer to him, and Bucky felt his hips buck against the bed. “So sexy, doll, sound so good…”

(Y/n) was panting, trying to catch her breath, but he was now licking up her pussy like it was an ice cream cone, with big, wide stripes, flicking his tongue up and down against her clit when he got to the top. Her panting turned into gasping for breath as he changed his technique, now giving long, broad strokes up her pussy, but stopping to suck her clit into his mouth, pulling back and letting it slip out, repeating the lick/ suck cycle over and over until her hips were rolling with his motions.

“God, Bucky, God-” she panted, gasping for breath as she felt a monumental orgasm building deep in her belly.

“No blasphemy, doll,” he teased with a chuckle before he went back to her.

(Y/n) whined at the loss of his mouth and felt a bit of aggravation at that and his chuckle, and grabbed his hair, thinking that would teach him. Instead, he groaned into her and she moaned at the feeling.

Bucky licked and sucked, tugging on her clit with his lips. Fuck- the way she was holding his hair, slightly tugging on it, holding him down to her pussy, telling him that he was right where she wanted him- it was really turning him on.

His tongue flicked faster, making (Y/n) gasp and arch her hips toward him, then, just as she was about to come, Bucky sent two fingers into her.

“Oh, fuck!” (Y/n) cried out, gasping for breath between moans as Bucky's fingers continued to thrust in and out, rubbing over her g-spot while she clenched around them. "Oh, fuck,” she gasped.

Bucky groaned against her, licking and sucking, using his tongue and mouth like tongue kissing her pussy was his favorite thing in the world.

“God, Bucky- yes, oh- fuck!” (Y/n) cried out as she came again. “Oh my God, Bucky,” she panted as he softened his actions.

She could feel his smile against her as his tongue gently flicked over her. She had nearly caught her breath when he changed back to his previous movements, making her hips arch from the bed and her hands tighten in his hair. Bucky groaned and kept going, determined to make (Y/n) come again before he finally got to feel her around him. “Bu-Bucky, ah- oh, please Bucky,” she panted, and Bucky could feel her thighs shaking around his shoulders as she reached the edge again.

He pulled back, his thumb replacing his tongue as he kneeled back and licked his lips. “You taste so good, baby,” he told her, a growl in his voice. Bucky felt her pussy flutter around his fingers as his hand worked it, fingers pushing in and out and thumb rubbing over her clit. “That's it doll,” his husky voice coaxed, “c'mon, doll, come for me. C'mon, baby. I wanna feel that sweet little pussy quiver and hold tight around my fingers. There we go,” he groaned as (Y/n) clenched around his fingers again, and slowed his hand to gently stroke her through her orgasm.

Bucky slipped his fingers out of the wet heat that his cock was anxious to feel around it, and pulled his pants off, throwing them behind him as he lowered himself over (Y/n). “You're so beautiful, doll,” he told her as he kissed her.

Feeling his heavy, warm, naked body over hers made (Y/n) want to press her own naked flesh against his, so she did, her hands moving up his chest to the sides of his face and holding him in place as they kissed. “Glad you finally think so,” she murmured when they parted for air.

“Thought so since I first saw ya, doll,” he answered before busying his mouth with hers, again.

(Y/n) pulled back, a soft laugh leaving her lips that subconsciously made Bucky's mouth turn up in a grin in response. “Took long enough for you to kiss me, then!” she teased.

“Didn't know if ya wanted me to. Thought about it for a long time, though,” he assured her.

“Oh yeah?” (Y/n) asked, the corner of her mouth quirked up in a grin.

“Yeah,” Bucky answered, kissing her again.

“How long?” she asked breathlessly.

“So long, doll,” he murmured as he kissed down her throat. “Mmm, let me show you something else I've thought about for a long time,” he told her, pulling her legs up around his hips.

“And what's tha- ahh, ooooooh,” she had started out cheeky, but lost her thought to a low moan of pleasure as Bucky slowly filled her.

“(Y/n)... ah fuck, doll- feel so good around me…” He kissed her throat, rocking his hips until he was unable to push in any deeper in their position, murmuring against her, “God, doll, I never wanna leave.”

(Y/n) gasped for breath as she felt Bucky nipping at her collarbone, and then she was being rolled. When she opened her eyes she was astride Bucky's hips, looking down into his lust hazed eyes. His hands found her waist, sliding up and down her skin and making goosebumps grow across it.

“C'mon baby, I wanna see you ride me,” he told her with a roll of his hips.

(Y/n) bit her lip and shifted her hips, feeling him sink deeper into her as she aligned with him better. Her lip fell from her mouth and her face twisted in blissful torment, her eyes closing. “Oh, Bucky…” she gasped.

“Fuck, doll, ya look so fuckin’ sexy,” Bucky told her, his eyes moving over her face, then her body.

(Y/n) tightened her thighs, making her body move up his length, then slowly relaxed them, taking it all in again. Her hands went in front of her, landing on his stomach, and she felt his muscles flexing as he arched his hips with her. She pulled up, and his muscles lengthened, she pushed down onto him and his muscles tightened, bunching under her fingertips. Heat was filling her body, melting her mind, it must be, because when his hands slid up her body to gently squeeze and toy with her breasts, she arched her breasts further into them, forgetting any inhibitions she had about being on top.

(Y/n) was moving at a slow pace, a gentle rocking motion, but it wasn't enough. Bucky's hands made their way back down her body to her hips, stroking over them and along her thighs. Gasps and moans filled the air around them as they found a rhythm, (Y/n) starting to bounce harder against him as she forgot her fear of injuring him.

Bucky's eyes were trained on (Y/n) the way her curves bounced and jiggled, his hands sliding over them. “Doll,” he gasped out, “doll, so- ugh- so fucking sexy…”

(Y/n)’s cheeks warmed at his comments, watching as he sucked his bottom lip into his mouth, letting it slip out slowly as his eyes drifted closed.

He only let them shut for a second, though, pulling them back open so he could watch her. “Fuck,” he groaned, “I love watching you ride me, baby. I love watching you bounce on my cock- I just love watching you bounce,” he told her.

(Y/n)'s insecurities flooded back at that comment. Was she flabby anywhere? Did she have rolls swishing every which way? Did she have a double chin showing? Were her breasts perky enough, or were they flopping around in an unsexy way? Her hips slowed, and her arms moved around her, covering what she could, holding everything in, her hands over the most insecure spot on her stomach.

Bucky's brow twitched, and he looked up at her in confusion. “Oh, baby, no- let's go back to that last pace-” he cut himself off as he realized how her hands were covering her. “Baby- please, doll? I love watching you bounce. Please?” (Y/n) tried moving faster, and Bucky's hands went to hers, pulling them away from her body. “I love watching all of you bounce,” he told her, his voice serious.

With some urging from Bucky's hands, (Y/n) started moving again, but it was obvious that she had reservations.

Bucky moved his hands over her, finding the places he loved to watch the most, then let his fingers drift back down her body, giving a quick squeeze to her hips before smacking her ass. (Y/n)'s eyes widened in surprise, and Bucky watched her ass as it gave a jiggle.

“Keep moving, doll,” he told her, his eyes still on what he could see of her ass. (Y/n) started slowly moving again, sliding up and down, gasping for a breath when he slapped her ass again and moaned, “yeah, fuck-” Bucky licked his lips and squeezed her ass tightly with his hand, “so sexy, babydoll, so fuckin’ sexy!” His hands stroked over her, squeezing at all of his favorite spots, giving soft taps to some of them and groaning before giving a squeeze.

His hands roamed up and down, back and forth, before finally reaching (Y/n)’s breasts, giving a light slap to one and watching it bounce as he moaned. “(Y/n),” he gasped, “you feel so good, baby... Keep goin’, baby, keep riding me…” he groaned, his hands cupping her breasts and tugging on her nipples.

(Y/n) moaned and arched her back, leaning forward and bucking her hips against him. “Bucky,” she sighed, a needy note in her voice.

Bucky moaned back to her, his hands sliding down her stomach to just above her pubic bone and guiding her, but need was building in his gut. It was good, it felt good, and he could tell she was feeling good, too, but he wanted to feel her coming, squeezing tight around his cock, milking him with her sweet, soft -hot- pussy.

“Fuck- doll, I love this, I've wanted it for so long…” he confessed, “wh-when we're in the gym- oh yeah- every time I see you thrown to the floor, your ass jiggles- God,” Bucky panted, trying to focus, “every time I see that, see your ass jiggle, I always think of what it'll look like when you're riding on my cock- God, baby, it looks so good…”

(Y/n) moaned, shifting her hips and holding on to his forearms for stability. Deep in her belly she could feel the bubbling of another orgasm building.

Bucky freed his arms and slid one hand to her hip, his thumb slipping through her deliciously wet pussy to find her clit and position itself on it, and the other slid around her hip to her ass, squeezing it again before slapping, and her hips jerked forward, bumping her into his thumb and making it rub over her clit.

“Oh, baby- fuck, babydoll, yes- ride me, harder, doll,” Bucky groaned. He slapped her ass, making her clit bump into his thumb and demanded again, “harder.” (Y/n) adjusted her posture, riding higher up his cock before coming back down. “Harder,” he moaned with another slap. She moaned back to him, feeling the needy bubble expanding as he slapped again. “C'mon, doll, harder.” (Y/n)’s hips sped up, shifting and moving with abandon, panting in effort to keep oxygen in her lungs. “Fuck, (Y/n), yes-” Bucky groaned, “doing so good, baby, so good- I can feel you about to come-” his voice was getting huskier, more determined.

“Harder, babydoll- ride me hard and come all over my cock- wanna feel that tight little pussy squeezing me.” He pressed his thumb against (Y/n)’s clit, rubbing it firmly as she bounced up and down. “That's it, babydoll- yeah, ride me hard- fuck, doll, keep goin'- I can feel ya- feel ya gettin’ close- ride me, baby,” he told her, his voice getting more and more urgent. “Ride me harder- fuck- you're so close, baby.” Bucky's hands tightened on her, his fingers digging into her hip as he helped her pound herself onto his stiff cock. “Fuck, so close, babydoll- ya need it, yet? Need it bad?” He asked, an edge to his voice growing more desperate by the moment. “I need it bad, doll, need to feel you coming around my cock, squeezing it tight, fuckin’ strangelin’ it-”

(Y/n) was letting out soft little cries, mindlessly thrusting herself as hard and fast as she could, feeling the bubble in her stomach growing and becoming more intense.

Bucky's thumb pressed against her clit, rubbing over it as his cock rubbed over her g-spot, his other hand holding her hip to make sure she didn't get away from the pleasure.

"Oh god, oh god- oh god- oh god…!” She panted, feeling everything nearing the tipping point.

"Fuck, baby, almost there- Ah, babydoll, ya look like a fuckin’ sex goddess; ridin’ me like this,” Bucky told her, watching her head tip back and her eyes close. "Fuck, yes, doll- come for me- come on my cock, doll-” (Y/n) screamed out his name as she came, and Bucky's hands tightened, his thumb twitching furiously over her clit.

(Y/n)'s thighs had tensed, making her unable to continue fucking herself onto Bucky, but her hips jerked, holding his swollen cock inside and feeling her whole body pulsing around it as she rocked.

Bucky clenched his jaw, half held back grunts slipping out. “Fuck- feel so good doll… you feel so good,” he moaned out.

(Y/n)'s eyes opened as she fell forward, her hands going to Bucky's chest, and she stared into his eyes, getting lost in the pools of deepest blue as she tried to catch her breath. Bucky's hand touched her cheek and guided her down to kiss him, heating her back up. She pulled back, her eyes cracking open to stare into his again.

Bucky rolled them, staring into (Y/n)’s eyes the whole time. He leaned down and kissed her, tangling his tongue with hers as he started slowly thrusting into her. (Y/n) buried her fingers in Bucky's hair, holding his lips to hers again, moaning into his mouth while their tongues tried to count taste buds.

Their mouths were forced apart by Bucky's thrusting getting faster.

“Bucky- Bucky,” (Y/n) chanted, gasping for air between his thrusts. He was hitting so deep inside her, the head of his cock nudging against her cervix, and while she had never felt that before, she was definitely enjoying it right now.

“Ungh- (Y/n),” Bucky moaned desperately against her throat, pushing into her faster. “Baby- God, you feel so good, I'm going to lose my mind,” he moaned roughly. “I gotta- doll, wanna feel you comin’ around me again- doll-” Bucky growled a curse, his hips hitting against (Y/n)’s ass in the angle they were at.

“Ahhh, Bucky- oh God!” She half cried, half whimpered, feeling the coil of pleasure twisting impossibly tight in her belly.

Bucky growled when she dug her fingers into his skin, muttering a string of groans peppered with curses. (Y/n)’s walls quivered around him in preorgasm flutters, and his hand went to her hip, cupping and holding it as he pounded into her harder and harder, raw, wholly male noises leaving his mouth as they both neared the end.

“Fuck- Bucky- fuck-!” (Y/n) gasped, finding herself at the edge again.

“Yeah, baby,” Bucky growled. “Bucky's fuckin’ you hard… (Y-Y/n) oh God- c-come for me, baby,” he groaned. “Doll… Co- come for your Bucky,” a whine had entered his voice, giving his voice an air of begging. “Come for me- come for me- (Y/n)!”

(Y/n) cried out, her voice joining his as his hips jarred against hers, his cock spurting his essence into her convulsing wet heat.

Bucky hovered over her, resting his forehead on her collarbone as they caught their breath. “Doll,” he sighed to her, but finished his thought with a moan.

(Y/n) let out a chuckle. “Me, too…” She sighed, then chuckled again. “Good God, Bucky, me, too.”

Bucky smiled, pulling her tight against him as he rolled to get comfortable.

They settled against each other, falling asleep after the long exercise in the late night.

… … …

(Y/n) smiled, following down the hall to the kitchen slightly behind Bucky, giving a laugh at whatever he said.

"Oh-ho, what do we have here?" Tony asked from near the counter, his arms folded.

Clint leaned over the counter by him, a cookie half shoved in his mouth. "Cookies," he mumbled through the crumbs.

"I know they're cookies, Clint," Tony sighed in exasperation, gesturing at the two stopped by the door. "I meant with them."

"They made the cookies," Clint commented like the smartass he was.

"Yes, I know- shut up, hawk brain." Tony shook his head. He looked over to (Y/n) and regained his smirk. "This has your name all over it."

"Huh? Why?" She asked in surprise.

"They're zombies. Only you would destroy perfectly good cookies to make them look like zombies to frost them," Tony told her.

"They're good," Clint commented from the counter.

"Do you like them?" (Y/n) asked Tony.

"You do bake a mean gingerbread cookie," he nodded, taking a bite from a cookie.

"Bucky made them," she told him, laughing as he stared at Bucky in shock. "I just helped him frost them."

"He made- you made zombie gingerbread cookies?" Tony asked.

"Yeah," Bucky answered.

"Well, then… you two make quite a team," Tony admitted, taking another bite.

Steve walked into the kitchen, rubbing his eyes.

"You ok, Capsicle?" Tony asked. "Here," he gestured to the cookies. "Eat a cookie, it'll perk you up."

"You made cookies?" Steve asked in disbelief.

"(Y/n) and Bucky made them," Clint put in, still chewing his way through the cookies.

"You ok? Something happen?" Tony asked again, worry about a new threat gnawing at him.

"Yeah, just didn't get a good night's sleep. Noisy," he answered.

Tony thought for a moment, wondering what could have caused this, then remembered that Steve and Bucky were neighbors. His eyes went to the couple blushing in the doorway, and he shot them a knowing smirk.

"Quite a team indeed," he commented to them.

(Y/n) blushed harder, but Bucky cleared his throat. "Not embarrassed. Sorry, Steve," he apologized.

Steve shrugged. "Happens when the walls are too thin."

"Hey! Is that a shot against my building?" Tony demanded.

"No, just the wall between their rooms," (Y/n) jabbed at him.

Tony put his hand over his heart and gasped in offense.

"Yeah. You built that wall, didn't you, Tony?" Clint teased.

Tony turned to him, making another gasp of offense.

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headoverhiddles · 5 years

Text

Assist Me - Dr. King Schultz x Reader [Smut]

Synopsis: You and King had been tiptoeing around each other for months after you began working for the man in the small town he arrived in with Django. A touch here, a look there, but nothing seemed to ever come of the small advances...

Notes: Eee King’s back! This is short, but this was a dream I had a while back. The dream actually ended very sadly lol but this is just happy and sexy! Yay!

Part II

You had started working for King a little under a year ago. He's a nice gentleman, having arrived from Germany, then Tennessee he had said, where he practiced dentistry before. Here in Daughtry, he had been interested in continuing his practice.

He had arrived with another man named Django Freeman, a former slave from around these parts. The man you work for is mysterious, never really speaking much about his past, but you suppose he’s got a reason for that. Sometimes he shows up for work a little late and dirtied, and you get curious... but it's not your job to question him.

---

"Morning, doctor," you say, setting a bottle of numbing alcohol on a high shelf.

"(y/n)," King greets, the bell tinkling above the door as he comes in and takes off his hat, "And how are you today, Fraulein?"

"Fine, thank you," you accept his offered hand as you step down, and he smiles at you, tucking his silver blonde hair behind his ears. He’s captivated for a moment, unable to look away, then catches himself.

"Well. Long work day ahead of us is it?"

You look down at your little journal you keep on the wooden desk by your quill, smirking slightly at how red his ears just got.

"Johnny Baskers is coming in this morning for a toothache. Burt Castie got two teeth knocked out in a bar fight last night and needs a pull on a third one. It's loose."

"Wonderful," he rubs his hands together, sarcasm evident. "Have you ever thought about what the elimination of stupidity would do for people's health?"

You smirk as you gather some more bottles. "All the time, doc."

He watches you walk away as you go, and bites his lip. He's had a thing for you for a while, but you must never know. It's inappropriate. You're half his age, maybe even younger, and would be more suited to one of the town's eligible bachelors who would offer you a life of more than skipping towns and bounty hunting.

He steals another glance your way. You're smart, but you still haven't figured out his double life here with young Django-- not as far as he knew, at least. Nobody had, which was a relief, since if anyone found out, it would be time to pack up and leave for the next southern town. Emancipation sympathizers weren’t welcome in these parts, and that was putting it lightly.

As for eligible bachelors, however... you constantly expressed your distaste with all the juvenile men around. You talked of settling down with a more seasoned man who knew how to handle a woman. Perhaps...

King forces the thought away, and focuses on cleaning his pliers. He could always take care of himself if it got to be too much.

---

The appointments that day didn't make things any easier for King. You keep bending over, stretching, reaching, and it's getting him more than a tad bit flustered.

“--Was just swingin’ at me like a mad buffalo!” Burt howled in the dentist chair. You raise an eyebrow, pouring out some whiskey for him to down.

“Have you ever seen a buffalo, Castie?”

“Well... no, but-- doesn’t matter! He was a mad buffalo, and I got my teeth knocked in, damn it all to hell!”

“Well,” King smiles, coming over, “You will be out one more problem once I pull this one for you.”

“You’sa gonna yank my other tooth too?!” he blurts. King stares at him in deadpan.

“As your health professional and amiable acquaintance, I sincerely do not recommend you walking around for the rest of your natural born life with your second front canine hanging by a string of flesh.” Burt stares, stunned, and King gives another one of those impish smiles. “May I proceed?”

He just nods, and you stifle a laugh.

As King is pulling it, Burt kicks and screams, and knocks the bottle of whiskey off the table. You bend over to retrieve it, hoping for your sake King is watching you, and for Burt’s sake, he’s not.

The former is true.

“(y/n),” he breathes, watching your skirts ride up. You don’t hear him, and he suddenly turns back to the bloody mouth he’s working on.

“There,” he says, “Good as new.” The man gives a pained grin, a huge gap in the top middle. You nod.

“You look great.”

“I do?”

“Magnificent,” King confirms, “Eh, good day.”

---

By the end of the day full of you bending over, accidentally exposing your breasts to him without noticing, and working incredibly close to you, the bounty hunter is hot under the collar.

The sun goes down outside, and you watch the good Christian townspeople head home, and the ne’erdowells start to accumulate around the saloons. Most of them headed over to the place to be on the corner, which was run by a sleazy, racist bald man named Hetter. King didn’t like Hetter much, as you could tell whenever he 'forgot’ to numb his gums a little. You don’t blame him-- you’re sure Django, King’s younger friend, hadn’t received the warmest of welcomes from the man.

“Ah. What a day,” King smiles, resting against the wooden counter top. He tries not to look at you, because he’s been semi-hard all day and he really doesn’t need you noticing.

"I'm going to stay for a bit," you tell him, “If that’s alright. Burt made a damn mess of things, I’ve gotta clean up.”

King hesitates. He usually tells Django to meet him here after his work to discuss plans of which plantation they would hit early the next morning.

“Do not worry about it, mein Fraulein, I will take care of it tomorrow.”

“It’s no trouble, really!”

King concedes, realizing he can’t get out of this situation any other way. "Of course. Take all the time you need." He tries to shut his mouth. He almost succeeds, but-- "I'll also be staying a little late."

"Good," you wink, "You can help me put the tools away, doc."

You start to do so, cringing at the bloody tooth left behind by Castie. King comes up behind you, passing you a couple of dental instruments. You look so good, and he's flushed, he can’t stop staring at you, god-- what is the matter? King usually had perfect control over things like this. It’s like you had a spell on him.

“Something the matter?” you ask. He looks a little dizzy.

"(y/n)," he murmurs, and you look down at how flustered he looks. You bite your lip, getting down, and raise your eyebrows.

"Something wrong?"

One piece of errant hair has fallen into your face, and your lips are slightly parted. King can’t dispel the thought of dirtying them up, and his fists clench at his sides. He tries to think of something to say. He can only kiss you.

“Mmm,” you let out a startled moan, and he draws back, mustache twitching.

“I apologize. I don’t know what came over--”

In the span of 3 seconds, you’ve cleared the table of bottles with a crash, and you urge him to lay you down on top of it, pinning you. You let out a needy moan, and King reaches up, hooking his fingers in your underclothes carefully.

"Is this what you want, darling girl?" he rasps, and you nod feverishly.

“I’ve wanted you since the day you rode into town.” You lean up to his ear, breath hot against his face. “I wanted to ride you like you were riding Fritz.”

He swears softly, and unbuckles himself. He holds your head up as he slides in, moaning softly at the feeling of you around him.

"I've been wet all day for you, doc," you groan, "Fuck, daddy... need you."

The name shocks him. "(y/n)..."

"It means something else," you assure, grabbing onto his arms and laughing, "Please. Daddy."

Hearing the unorthodox name again ignites something inside of King, and he goes a little bit harder, making you tilt your head back and cry out for him even louder. The bounty hunter doesn’t care one bit at the moment if the entire town of Daughtry could hear (if they took a minute to stop drinking and listen)... he'd been wanting this since the day you slipped your hand into his and introduced yourself.

"Please, please, please," you continue to chant, until King groans, burying his face in your hair as you come and clench hard around his cock.

"Oh, my dear, my dear," he whispers, "I-I’m afraid I’m close.”

You nod, and grind down against him. He pulls out just in time, coming into his fist. You looks down at him on the table through a mess of hair and swollen lips, and he sinks to his knees, parting your legs around him. He delves between them, and one, two, three licks and a long sucking motion is all it takes for you to finish.

You two look at each other for a good long time, until King averts his eyes, putting his spectacles on.

"You had better hurry home, (y/n)."

Your face falls a little, but you nod, getting off the table and gathering your things. Perhaps you’re just a means to an end, as usual. Maybe he didn’t mean to do that-- men have urges, same as women, maybe you were just... there.

You gather your skirts, and pulls them down, grabbing your things and heading out. As you open the door, you feel a hand on your shoulder.

"Wait," King says, "I forgot something.” You turn, and he kisses you softly. His hands smooth out down your shoulders, moving in to curl a lock of your hair. When he pulls away, he lingers on your lips, caring not about the busybody townspeople staring at you two and whispering.

"I've always wanted to do that," he admits with a small smile, and you grin, wrapping your arms around his neck and jumping in for another kiss.

“Am I interruptin’ something?” Django asks, elbows on his knees. He’s sitting on the bench in front of the shop, and King’s eyes widen.

“Django, my boy--! You didn’t... we-- you didn’t, you couldn’t, eh... hear... could you?”

“I was tryin’ not to!” Django grins, “But y’all gotta work on the volume. Sounded like you’s running a brothel in there.”

You giggle into King’s shoulder as the man huffs and blushes, fixing his waistcoat.

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supernovaescape · 5 years

Text

Messy

word count: 1.915

pairing: 90s!damon ♥ reader

warnings: a bit angsty, swearing

●●●

Damon was a mess.

Eventually you’ve got used to it. It’s just Damon – a little weird, even cold. That big thing about him was making you sad, so you tried your best to, at least, not to think about it so much.

Graham introduced you to Damon when Blur left for a big tour the first time. You remembered Damon as charmingly exited and ready for people to finally hear him, with a terrible hairstyle that was fashionable, but looked awful on every person. Even on him. Even on Damon, who always looked so beautiful, like a ray of sunshine fallen from the sky.

At first you and him became a really good friends – it’s even pissed Graham a bit. Damon was a couple years older, but he liked the same music as you, the same books, you shared similar opinions and sometimes, in a big argument with Graham, Alex and Dave, you and Damon just stared at each other not saying a word, but talking about the same thing. You fell for him in a first week.

But now – a year and a half later – you became tired of loving him. It was hard, you can name a fuck ton of reasons why. And the most noticeable from them all – the fact that after you just became a really good friends Damon started to be messier and messier, so you couldn’t figure him out anymore. You, him, Graham, Alex and Dave were still friends, and you get together every now and then, but it’s not that special anymore.

“Are you okay?”, Graham asked and you slightly frowned. You already forgot what you’ve been talking about.

“No…”, you answered honestly. Alex and Graham looked at each other knowingly.

You reached for your glass but it was empty long ago, even ice already almost melted. You stood up.

“I’m gonna go get myself a drink!”, you said loudly, trying to speak through music.

The bar was not in the noisiest part of the club, so you could finally hear your thoughts. Although, maybe it was not a good thing. You sat down on a high stool, a little awkwardly, and it almost fell. Your cheeks instantly turned red, so you hurried to get a drink to hide your awkwardness.

On another side of the bar you saw Damon. He was staring at you and seemed surprised. He fucking saw it! Now he’s gonna hate you even more, if it’s possible. You took a deep breath, holding an eye contact. You wanted to turn away, run into bathroom and cry about how miserable you were. Damon’s eyes were almost black in the poor club lighting. Bartender put a glass in front of you, you smiled and said thank you, finally losing an intense eye contact. Heart was beating like a mouse’s, suddenly music became annoying and you felt bad, thinking about how Damon is just sitting here with strangers, instead of spending time with boys and you.

“Hey.”, suddenly you heard Damon’s voice and it scared you to death.

“Oh! Fuck…”, you certainly looked surprised and just a thought about how it all looking from the side made you chuckle.

“Did I scare you? Shit, I’m sorry.”, Damon smiled. You finally looked at him and instantly felt like you both travelled in time two years back. But Damon’s haircut was better. He was smiling at you, not knowing what to say. He scratched the back of his head, smiled again and opened his mouth to say something, but immediately closed it. You looked at each other for just a couple of moments, but it lasted forever, cornering you. Half of Damon’s face, illuminated by the light from a dancefloor, was turquoise, the shadow of an eyelashes fell on his cheek.

“Are you okay?”, he asked, meaning something else.

“Why everyone keeps asking me that?”

“You look kind of sad.”, Damon said and you were sure that you can punch him in the face right now.

“I called you, you know?”

“Are you?”, he asked calmly, not surprised at all.

“Uh-huh. Multiple times. From the last September I called you thousand times. We met almost every week, but you just stopped talking to me or was cold. Thank God I’m drinking tonight and I found you, because in the other way, it all could last forever!”, you finally stopped talking, finding, that you’ve been pretty loud.

“It wouldn’t last forever.”, Damon said confidently. He seemed serious.

“Our friendship? Of course.”, you said sarcastically and Damon frowned, annoyed. He placed his hand on top of yours and moved closer to your face.

“Let’s go get fresh air.”, he said and held your wrist tight as you walked through the club. Closer to the exit it became less and less crowded, now there was only a few people and they no longer danced. At the door, Damon took out a pack of cigarettes and kept one in his lips, not lighting. He handed the pack to you, but you shook your head.

Outside the club still was a queue and a little crowd. Now any place was too crowded for you two. You were not in tune for a big argument, especially not with Damon. He took you by the hand and you both ran across the road. But now he has intertwined your fingers. Something fell in your stomach and you looked at your palms almost frightened. Only feeling of his hand in yours made your knees weak.

He held the cigarette in the corner of his mouth and took his jacket off.

“Don’t.”, you said and he stopped for a moment, looking at you.

“No, take it.”, he placed his white Harrington jacket on your shoulders and stayed only in his blue shirt. He lighted his cigarette and, once again, handed it to you. You shook your head, feeling that you might fall right now.

“It’s cold, you better take it back.”, you said.

“And what? Leave you freezing?”, he asked as if the obvious answer was “no”. His voice sounded tiredly. London wasn’t feeling like home – cold wind whistled, hooking you with claws and rattling Damon's hair. You can still hear music from the club.

You skipped your classes one day because it was one of those days when everything goes wrong. Graham allowed you to come to the studio and Damon, as soon as he saw you, said:

“Come here, love.”, and hurried to hug you.

Damon’s jacket smelled like Damon, you didn’t know you missed that smell so much - cigarettes, his sweet perfume and home. Damon smelled like home and in his big jacket even an cold London seemed warmer.

“I know that you called.”, Damon said, “I’ve listened to your messages.”

“Obviously, yes. I’ve left a bunch.”, you said, starting to get angry.

“Y/N… Listen, I’m sorry.”, he said. A cigarette in his mouth almost went out.

“For what exactly are you sorry? What is this conversation?”, you asked loudly. Or is he think that he can act like a dick with a person, and when he gets tired of that, he can just become nice?

“I tried to play it cool, but I’m a mess. "Cool" it's a very relative thing anyway.”

He lighted another cigarette, looking like a little shy boy in front of you. Then suddenly he looked up, at the club and at you, placing his hand on the small of your back and leading you further away from the club.

“You know…”, he started, but you interrupted him, feeling that you’re the only person here who can talk in proper sentences:

“All I know is that hearing you speaking to me is unusual. I have no idea what you’re trying to do here…”, you showed him a dark, silent street you were where, “Are you trying to kill me or justify yourself for being a cunt? And I remember that you’re still a star, blah-blah-blah, but I feel like I’m even worse than nothing for you.”

“I don’t know what you remember. I remember not sleeping the whole night watching old VHSs and how you fell asleep on my shoulder. And your birthday when I went to buy you flowers, but I didn’t know which one do you like so I bought a big stupid bouquet of every one. And how I wrote a song about you…”

“What you want to get? A «thank you»?”

“Also I remember when you cried after a fan being rude to you and it was enough to break my heart, and how…”

“I don’t want to have this conversation.”

“I thought that you can leave so easily and it’s better for me to pretend that I’m absolutely coldhearted. Because I remember how you were mad on Graham after a fight and how you didn’t come to hang out with us… with me.”

“You were dating someone!”

“Oi! And so are you!”

“Oh, please Damon…”

“Mine wasn’t that serious.”

“I’m not nearly as beautiful as all the girls you’ve been with. Yes, and what if it...”, you pointed at him and then at yourself, “...wasn’t that serious too?”

“No, Y/N…”, he said quietly, shaking his head.

He took a step towards you, so that you could feel his breath on your face. He smirked and pressed his lips to yours. You sighed into his open mouth. He held your face in his hands, just where he needed, pulling you closer. Damon tasted like cigarettes and something sweet like a cherry gum. His smell has now become even stronger and you could not stop kissing him, becoming rougher, holding tight by his shirt collar. It was better than you imagined, much better than when you thought about his lips over yours when you touched yourself. You wanted to feel him against you, and you moaned loudly in his mouth when he wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you closer, biting your lower lip harshly. You hissed.

“Sorry.”, Damon smiled cheekily. He put both hands under his jacket and on your bum. But after a moment, they were on your back again, and then he ran them in your hair, not really sure which part of you he adores more. He moaned your name and you felt how hot his skin was. You wanted to feel more.

You pulled away for a second, looking at his swollen lips. His eyes darkened again, as they were at the bar. To your delight, he pressed his lips to your neck and you ran your fingers through his hair, pulling them, feeling how Damon left a hickey on your neck and a biting mark on your collarbone.

“You’re so fucking beautiful.”, he said into your lips.

“I’ve almost fell from that chair.”, you said and quickly kissed him on the cheek, because you always wanted. He held you tight.

“Well...”, he laughed, “At least it made me sort of less scared.”

“How’s that?”, you asked, trying to kiss him again, but he pulled back and carefully looked into your eyes, then lowering his head to your neck and biting just below the ear, so you moaned and laughed.

“I don’t know.”, he said low, “It’s just made you more human. I started to forget that you’re a human too.”

Damon smiled into your lips and kissed you slowly, tenderly, just moving his lips on yours.

“You’re heavenly.”, he said, pressing his forehead against yours and just staying there for a moment.

#blur #damon albarn #graham coxon #alex james #dave rowntree #damon albarn imagine #damon blur #damon blur imagine #damon albarn x reader #damon x reader #damon x y/n #damon albarm x y/n #damon albarn fanfic #blur fanfic #blur imagine #britpop fanfic #britpop imagine

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chillmichelle · 5 years

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Bad Nights

Shawn and Y/N are best friends in love with each other, so why does he keep being with other girls?

Word count: 4.8K

Angst & Fluff

November, 2012

“Don’t worry, Y/N, i’ll be fine.” Shawn has a little too much gel in his hair as he places his headphones in his ears, one after the other. There are small pimples scattering across his forehead, and his braces make his words seem a little slurred, but he confidently (Although Y/N can tell he’s nervous enough to practically shit his pants) stands in front of the movie theater, waiting for Jess to show up.

“Well, I guess if you say so…” She trails off, still feeling uneasy about leaving her best friend there. Shawn had liked Jess since the sixth grade, and now he finally had a shot at actually dating her. He’d been so excited, the date being the only thing he’d talked about for the past few days. Y/N had helped him choose what outfit to wear, what movie to see, and shown him the basic principles of getting her to like him.

Drowning in his father’s cologne, Shawn stands at his tall height in front of the local movie theatre, eyes occasionally shifting to the automatic wristwatch on his right wrist. He nervously tilts back and forth on the pads of his feet, seeing that as the minutes roll by his mind fills with more possible reasons why she isn’t there.

Y/N, who he assumes trudged off a while ago, stands at the corner of the movie theatre, staring at her unknowing best friend who teeters more and more. Y/N counts the minutes as they tick by, and with every person who walks into the theatre (some of them apologetically staring at the cold, defeated boy out front) his expression deepens, frown drooping more and more.

The movie’s started at that point, Jess is 30 minutes past when he was supposed to meet her. He runs the dialogue Y/N’s been feeding him through his head.

“You look beautiful.”

“Don’t worry, i’ll pay.”

“I’m glad you came out tonight.”

His heart is shattered, the one girl he’s had his hopes up for since the 6th grade had finally given him a chance, and then when his hopes had gone up, she’d abandoned him and stood him up. Shawn takes a seat on the bench in front of the movie theatre, not caring if anyone sees him as he bows his head.

Y/N takes this as her chance, she walks out from where she’s been silently watching him from afar and walks to where he sits sadly on the bench. Shawn, who wants nothing more than to sit there and disappear, think’s she’s just another person walking by. But then he hears the footsteps stop right in front of him, and spots the snow boots he gifted her for her 14th birthday on her feet, and his head lifts to meet her eyes.

“Hey Curly, don’t sit here looking like a debby downer when there’s whole spiderman movie going on inside.” Y/N pulls her cold hand out of her pocket, using it to grab his fist as she tugs on it for him to stand up. He looks defeated, eyes swollen, and Y/N can tell he’s properly heartbroken from being stood up.

“Just because the night doesn’t turn out like you want it to, doesn’t mean it’s a shitty night. When I first met you, you were putting gum in my hair.” She tells him, ruffling his improperly gelled hair and tousling the messy waves.

Shawn smiles a little but, lips just barely perking upwards, but Y/N is happy nonetheless, and she pulls his hand, which has now unraveled from his fist, and leads the way into the movie theatre.

“Shawn if you don’t fucking get your flat ass back here right now, I swear to god I will rip every curly strand off of your head!”

Y/N climbs over the mess of sheets on her bed, stubby legs trying to run after him as he dips out into the hallway of her home. Her phone is gripped tightly in his hand and he laughs as he merely jogs, long legs still giving him the ability to be far ahead of her.

“You’ve been on this phone since I got here!” He says, sprinting down the wooden stairs to her home. As he makes his way into the kitchen, he hears little feet pad down the stairs behind him.

“That’s because it’s important!” She yells back, finally having caught up to him. They circle around the counter, Shawn turning on her phone and quickly entering in her password. She takes his distraction to quickly run towards him, hands reaching out to snatch the phone out of her hands. He immediately raises his arm up, his height giving him the advantage as Y/N stands on her tippy toes and tries to retrieve her precious device.

“Wow, who’s Grant?” Shawn asks, eyebrows going up and down as he scrolls through the conversation on her phone. Y/N’s cheeks immediately flush, knowing that their conversations weren’t necessarily the friendliest. She jumps up to grab her phone, and fails once more.

Shawn’s eyebrows stay furrowed as he reads through the messages. His heart tightens up a bit, stomach weirdly flipping inside of him as he reads the displays of affection exchanged between them. Playing it off subtly, he clears his throat and laughs, tickling her sides before handing the phone back to her.

He should be used to it by now, but he isn’t.

Shawn had been standing by Y/N for the past fifteen year of their lives. They’d been closer than any of their other friends, having more inside jokes and spending more time with each other than anyone else in their group had. Y/N remembered the time he suckered her into the school choir, despite her tone deaf voice, and laughed with him time to time about how the choir teacher made her stand in the corner of the stage and play the triangle so that her voice wouldn’t throw off the whole performance.

Growing up, it seemed as if they were inseparable. People always thought they were dating, and when they would both deny the accusations (which people never believed), the suspicion grew even more. After all, Shawn and Y/N were both attached by the hip all the time.

But when Shawn left for tour at 15, things changed a bit every time he came back home.

He was never really in Pickering for long, and neither was she anymore, now that she’d gone off to college. When he would visit every few months ( if it were up to him it would be more often), she’d hear different stories about him from other people, ones that she didn’t want to believe were true, but ones that she knew were.

Y/N wouldn’t necessarily say that she was in love with Shawn.

Of course, she loved him as a friend. She loved the little dimples that he had during his chubby phase in elementary school, and she loved the way that his eyes changed shades depending on his moods. She always knew how to read him, and when Shawn went missing for hours on end after getting into a fight with his family, she always knew to find him behind the sketchy Gas station in front of their old elementary school, a handful of quarters in his pocket as he stress chews packs of gum and writes song lyrics into his mind.

So why did she feel that way every time she heard another story of him coming back from tour, to hook up with another girl who wouldn’t have dared to be with him if he wasn’t who he was? Why did her stomach feel uneasy whenever an advertisement for a gossip magazine, with him hugging a supermodel who was dressed in his clothing, bother her so much?

Why did she coincidentally get drunk every time he stood her up when he came back home?

She wasn’t exactly sure. She loved him, but she didn’t want to be in love with him. She was well aware that there wasn’t any way that he felt the same way as she did.

So she drowned herself in other boys, ones that just happened to also have hazel eyes and a head of curly hair. Ones that happened to also enjoy John Mayer, and ones that also just happened to play guitar.

She wasn’t the proudest she could be at her choices, ut what choice did she have, really? He was a celebrity, no matter how much he felt like her best friend from home.

Tucking her phone back into the waistband of her sweats, Y/N shoots Shawn a glare, flipping him off before she turns around to grab a cookie from the small carton she’d purchased. The carton was almost empty, and she sighed knowing that she’d eventually have to go back to the grocery store.

“So, tell me about this Grant guy?” Shawn asks, leaning his elbows onto the kitchen counter and placing his chin in the palm of his hand as he awaits her answer like a giddy school girl. Y/N scoffs, tucking a cookie into her mouth before speaking with her mouth full.

“There’s really nothing to say. It’s just a fling, I don’t really want a relationship right now.” She shortly answers. Unless it’s with you, she thinks to herself, but mentally slaps herself in the face. Shawn nods, trying to hide the feeling of hurt flinch at him from her words.

I don’t really want a relationship right now.

Shawn was sure that he was in love with Y/N.

It had taken him a while to admit it to himself, but he had been in town one night, visiting their hometown and strolling through the streets of his neighborhood, and he had seen a small basketball hoop on the side of the walls of one of the homes.

He immediately thought back to their childhood. When Shawn was 9, his parents had gotten him a portable basketball goal for their large driveway. After a day of practicing (missing all of the shots) basketball one day, with Y/N cheering him on jokingly from the sidelines, he’d fallen and scraped his knee on the asphalt. Instead of going inside and giving him a proper bandaid, Y/N had taken a scrunchie off of her wrist, and placed it on top of the wound on Shawn’s knee.

He still had the scrunchie lying around somewhere in his bedroom.

There was a party going on that night, and Shawn remembered seeing various childhood friends getting drunk at the party that was a short 10 minute walk away from where he was. Then he recalled seeing the video of Y/N, drunkenly singing along to a song from the early 2000’s, her arms pulling someone’s neck closer to hers.

And it had bothered him.

A lot.

Shawn had noticed from then on the feeling he would get whenever she would mention anyone else. He tried to fight his feeling, tried to find love in other girls, tried to save his friendship by stopping his feelings for his best friend. But after a while he noticed how all the girls he’d be attracted to, would have traces of her with them.

That girl at the bar looks pretty, he would think.

Shit, she looks like Y/N.

Shawn knew that one of these days, he was bound to say at least something to her. That’s why he would sometimes cancel his plans with her, he was so afraid of slipping up and letting her know that he loved her in some way. And as much as he did love her, he knew that having any of her was better than having none of her at all.

So he swallowed her words about not wanting a relationship, mentally cursed out whoever this Grant guy was in his head, and stole a few of her cookies, stress eating his way through his problems.

Y/N’s sitting next to Shawn in the passenger seat of his jeep, her legs are dangling due to how high the seats are, and she watches the way his arms flex as he rolls the steering wheel with his wrists on the surface.

“Remember the monkey bars at that place?” Shawn points to the abandoned preschool, vines forming over the worn out concrete structures. It was where Shawn and Y/N had both met, growing up on the crappy equipment together.

“I’m pretty sure our entire grade got the flu from those bars.” Y/N laughs, remembering the time her and Shawn both got sick. She swears that it was him who sniffled first, but he always assured her it was her who gave it to him.

Their reminiscing is cut short when Shawn’s phone suddenly buzzes a number of times all at once. Multiple texts hit his phone and Y/N, without thinking, reaches down to grab it from where it’s connected to the aux.

“I’ll check it”

She expects to see a text from his mum, or his sister, maybe his friends about hanging out now that he’s back in town for the winter, but instead she’s met with an array of text messages from various other girls.

She sees some of the texts have attachments sent with them, vulgar words pressing at the conversations that he was apparently having. Y/N’s stomach feels a bit sick from the flirty nature of all of the messages, and she quietly puts his phone back down onto the console before closing her mouth and waiting for the tears welling at her eyes to dry away.

“Y/N, they’re just-”

“It’s none of my business, Shawn.” Her heart pokes against the frame of her ribcage, the small piece of hope that she had that maybe, just maybe he could like her back being shredded as she stares out through the foggy, iced up window of his car.

Shawn stands on her front porch, a small bundle of daisies in his hand as he nervously paces back and forth. His footsteps are quiet on the hardwood of her patio, and he presses on in his head what to say to her.

He hadn’t been this nervous since his first performance.

He finally gathers his thoughts together, hands lifting up in a loose fist to knock at her door, but before his knuckles can reach the door, the door swings open and in a panic, Shawn throws the daisies over the bush next to the porch.

“Shawn?” Y/N’s eyes are wide. She has a cute little blush to her cheeks, and Shawn wants nothing more than to lean forward and shower he soft skin in kisses. He refrains, though, and clears his throat as he replies.

Why was he so fucking nervous?

“Hey.” His voice cracks as he speaks, he feels embarrassed at the action, but is relieved when Y/N lets out a snort, laughing at his mistake.

“What are you doing here?” She asks him, fingers tapping against the back of her phone as she awaits an answer.

“Thought maybe you’d want to go to the movies or something?” He suggests. His eyebrows raise and he gives her a soft look, and she’s reminded of how he looked back in secondary school.

“I’d love to Shawn, but I can’t. I have plans tonight, maybe tomorrow?” His heart drops a little, but he keeps his composure. Before he can reply, a pair of headlights flashes it’s way behind the two of them, and Shawn snaps his neck backwards to see a sports car pulling into her driveway.

The door to the expensive looking car opens, and a tall boy (not as tall as Shawn, but still tall) steps out of the vehicle. He has a bundle of daisies in his hand, and Shawn immediately curses himself for panicking and throwing them behind the bush.

“Y/N? You ready to go?” His voice is deep, hair perfectly done in a messy neat kind of way and Shawn hates it because he looks like a good guy. A guy who could give her a good time, without having any phony articles written about him or fans hating on his girl. Y/N lets out a little smile, a dreamy one that Shawn would admire if it weren’t for the fact that he wasn’t the one causing it.

“Yeah! Get back in the car Grant, it’s chilly outside.”

Y/N looks up at Shawn, her eyebrows raising a bit, “I’ll see you, Shawn.”

“Yeah, t-tomorrow?” He stutters out and she merely nods before walking towards Grant’s car. He waits for her, opening the door of the car before closing it behind her, and pulling out the driveway. Shawn stays standing on her porch, daisies scattered across her lawn as his chest aches a little bit at watching her leave.

“Heard Shawn had quite the night with that instagram model who goes to Western.” Y/N munches on some complementary pretzels as Brian speaks loudly to his friends across from her. Shawn’s excused himself to go to the restroom, and right as he leaves the boys continue talking about his crazy adventures as a celebrity.

Her heart aches just a little bit, and to relieve the tension, she fills the rest of her body with beer and floury chips. Her mind is a bit gone and she refrains from any sort of conversation in fear of giving herself away.

“Gotta give the man some credit, he has good game.” Im laughs as he reaches forward to steal a pretzel from the bowl held in Y/N’s lap. She slaps his hand away and stuff two more down her lips.

“Can I get a fucking pretzel?” Ian playfully questions. Y/N shakes her head, mouth too full to give a response. When she swallows a bit later, she opens her mouth to speak again.

“Why do you all always insist on talking about Shawn’s love life instead of getting one of your own?” She digs, a bit pissed off at them. She knows it’s not at all their fault, but she can’t help her emotions getting the best of her.

“Jesus Y/N, what’s got you so worked up?” Brian spits back at her, actually sounding a bit defensive. Y/N reaches for another pretzel, but faces disappointment when she realizes the bowl is empty.

The truth is that Brian was right. She had no right to be upset, at all in fact. She wondered to herself. If she hadn’t gone out with Grant, and if she’d instead gone to a movie with Shawn, would he have not slept with someone else that night?

Y/N knows she shouldn’t be talking. But last night she had begrudgingly ended things with Grant. He was a nice guy, and she knew of it for sure, but he wasn’t Shawn. She was planning on spending more time with him, maybe seeing what they could be to see if she felt anything more than friendship towards him.

And then he’d slept with someone else.

Did that mean that he didn’t like her at all? Did it, perhaps, mean that she’d given up Grant for no real reason? She wanted to believe that she had made the right choice in ending things with him. After all, she knew she had all of these feelings for Shawn that she was unsure of.

But was she trying for nothing?

“Did you finally realize you’re head over heels in love with Shawn?” She hears Ian say, and she’s immediately snapped back into reality.

“What?” She quickly asks, head snapping over to look at Ian. He has a relaxed expression on his face, the alcohol clearly having taken the edge off of him as he leans against the booth with his body slouching off of it.

“Well you’re in love with him.” He tells her, expression scrunching up after he says it, “Aren’t you?”

Y/N gulps, she didn’t want anyone else to know, especially Shawns friends. But on another hand, they were also her friends.

The part that conflicts her the most is the fact that she doesn’t even know how she feels. Was she in love with Shawn? Maybe. She was definitely bothered by the idea of him being with someone who wasn’t her. He knew her better than most people did, and he’d always at east made an effort to talk to her whenever he was home.

But he was Shawn.

He travelled the world every other month, probably getting with tons of other pretty girls in the process. He wouldn’t have time for her, and he wouldn’t like her after all of the other amazing girls he had the ability to be with. Y/N knew there was no way her feelings were reciprocated.

So she blames the beer when she nods lightly, eyes staring down at the bar table as she accepts the fact that there’s no way he’d ever want someone like her, no matter how much she misses him when he’s not home.

“Pretty fucking obvious.” Brian remarks and she turns to glare at him, throwing a crumpled up wrapper from a plastic straw at his face before huffing and leaning down to take another sip of her beer.

“Just drop it, i’m sure that he wouldn’t want me anyways.” She grumbles, head ducking down uncomfortably. The boys shrug, and they change the subject to some recent hockey match their school had. Y/N debates leaving, and she boredly fiddles with the napkins on the table before she feels a quick tug on her hood.

“Can I have a word with you?” Shawn stands behind her, jaw clenched, and he looks a little bit angry from what she can see. Her head hurts a bit from processing the words, and she’s aware that he probably heard her entire conversation with the boys.

When she doesn’t respond, he grabs her hand and pulls her out of the booth, walking her to the counter of the bar where the bartender stands with a cleaning rag and an empty glass in his hand.

The stand silently, both obviously overwhelmed by the plethora of information. She stares at the prefilled bowls of pretzels behind the bar, and feels like asking for one. Instead, she lowers her head and remembers where she is: Standing in front of Shawn, having just admitted that she’s in love with him.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” His voice sounds strained, as if he’s trying to keep it quiet. Y/N doesn’t want to be in front of him, especially when he seems irritated and angry, but she swallows her fear and responds.

“Just, didn’t want to ruin our friendship, I guess.” She quietly responds, tucking her bottom lip into her teeth. The room feels suffocating and her arms begin to sweat.

“Y/N, you should’ve told me.” He sternly says, “You have no idea what this means.” His eyes close and he shakes his head, stoic expression on his face. He smells like cologne and Y/N wants to tuck her face into his neck and just hug him. She then remembers that she might’ve just ruined their entire friendship, and her imagination shuts off.

“It’s embarrassing.” She truthfully admits. It’s embarrassing to her, yes, because she knows there’s no way someone as successful and amazing as him could ever love her back. She knows she’s stupid for loving him, and it kills her that he seems angry at her feelings. She knows just how much she’s going to be devastated because she’s in love with him, and all he sees is red.

“It’s embarrassing to be in love with me?” His expression hardens even more, if it’s possible and Y/N nods her head.

“Y/N, i’ve been in love with you for-” He takes a deep breath, “The longest fucking time.”

Y/N doesn’t know how to feel. Her shoulders feel empty, mood lifting, and she knows she’s no longer sad. But now she feels a surge of hurt rush over her.

He was in love with her, but he still messed around with all of those girls?

Grant was the first boy Y/N had ever given a chance since Shawn had left for tour, since they were both 15. Y/N never got further than an awkward kiss with Grant, mostly because it felt wrong to do so when she knew she had feelings for someone else.

And here he was, a hundred models literally in his contact list as he tries to tell her he’s been in love with her all this time.

“You were in love with me?” She asks Shawn, her voice raising a bit as she no longer feels sad, “You were in love with me.” She repeats to herself, eyes darting into midair as she processes his words.

“Well then why did you talk to all those other girls?” She questions, wanting to clear things up before she’s sure that they have a solid chance. She sees Shawn gulp, a habit he has when he’s intimidated and her heart drops a bit because she knows he hasn’t changed.

“Shawn, you know how shitty I felt every time I would hear you got with another girl?” She bites at the skin of her lip, nibbling on the chapped skin, “You even cancelled on me sometimes just to hookup with other girls.”

Her lips curve downward. Shawn chokes, he thought that her reciprocating his feelings meant they would actually have a chance at being together, but he’d neglected all of his mistakes in his mental image of them together.

“That was-” He clears his throat, “A mistake.”

Y/N scoffs, “A mistake you made up until last night.”

Shawn knows it’s not supposed to be like this, they were supposed to be happy when they found out they loved each other. He’d been imagining this moment for months, yet now that it was here, it was so different. All because of his stupid decisions.

“Shawn just found out I love you.” She tells him, sadness lacing her voice, “But i’m just not sure if you love me back.”

Shawn wants to step forward, and lock his lips against hers. He wants to tell her he loves the way she sometimes snorts when she laughs, or how her hair tangles in the morning, or how he knows every single detail about her from the day her parents separated, to how she likes her eggs. He wants to show her the photo album on his phone of candid pictures he took, just admiring her. Wants to run his fingers down her skin like he’d always dreamt of doing.

“Of course I love you.” He defends himself harshly, “I’ve always loved you. It’s always been you!” He tries to tell her. She shakes her head, not believing any of her words, but why should she? He hadn’t given her a single reason to make her believe he was serious about her. He sometimes declines her calls on tour, and he’d slept with another girl just the night before.

“Shawn, give me your phone.” She asks him. He furrows his eyebrows, not knowing what she’s trying to do.

“What?”

“Give me your phone.” She tells him more urgently. He grabs the device out of his back pocket, handing it over to her quickly, and she taps in the password before pressing on the messages icon.

Scrolling through the texts and contacts, Y/N feels her heart sink deeper and deeper. Now she was definitely sure that there was no way he loved her. He had the audacity to exchange these - these words with all of these other girls just moments before he had told her he loved her, and how was she supposed to believe him?

Shawn feels disappointed in himself, because his careless actions may have just costed him the one thing he’s wanted. The one thing that money, or fame, or acclaim can’t buy him. Her.

She clicks his phone off, half heartedly paying it onto the wooden bar counter before shamefully looking down at her shoes. Shawn doesn’t know how to fix things, or if she’ll ever want to be with him.

“I love you, Shawn.” She tells him, and Shawn’s heart skips a few beats at her words alone, “I’m just not sure if you’re ready to love me.”

And when she walks past him, coat clutched to her chest as she stumbles out of the cozy bar, shawn can’t help but smile a bit to himself as he remembers that the night may not be shitty, just because it didn’t turn out like he hoped it would.

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