#also show yourself is about finally coming to terms with being gay | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

heyhelloitsmilo · 9 months

Text

Mirror, Mirror.

=========

moon system x gnc/gender neutral reader

word count: 1225 words

=========

‼️ this is based on my own experiences being trans/nb, i don't have bottom dysphoria so like, i don't... i don't reference it in this.

❗️ my spanish isn't very good, i'm still learning so a bit of google translate was used! masculine terms used (1)

✨ might be a little ooc its been a hot minute since i've written a fic! i'm also very sad!

⚠️ warnings: dysphoria, self-misgendering, feminine terms used in reference to reader, reference to scars (via top surgery), pre-transition/pre-hrt, show accurate depiction of DID, petnames used (lovingly)

💛 pairings: marc spector x reader, steven grant x reader, jake lockley x reader, moon system x reader (sorry steven isnt as relevant in this one i promise to make it up later heres an IOU)

💫 summary: dysphoria hits you really hard one evening after your shower and the boys get concerned, remembering your coming out (fluff, comfort)

-----------------------

You gripped the bathroom counter, water dripping from your skull down your skin, glistening in the fluorescent lights, dropping from your wet hair strands. Your eyes were trained on your chest, almost willing the world and the universe to make them stop existing. The subtle whirring of the bathroom fan only made it easier for you to zone out, staring at your body as it slowly dried, imagining a flat chest and scars in place of the things that made you a woman to everyone else.

You didn't even notice the soft knocks on the bathroom door or the quiet, "You a'right in there?" from Steven outside. You just stood there, the bath mat soaked, mind filled with thoughts about how feminine and womanly your body was, skincare routine and hygiene forgotten.

"Hey, if you're not gonna come out, I'm gonna come in there." Marc's words jolted you out of your trance, face whipping to the door, hands grabbing for a towel to cover yourself.

"Wait, wait wait hold on-!"

"Too late." Marc opened the door, looking at you, halfway through covering your body. His eyes darted across your frame, the rest of the bathroom, landing on your eyes. "Good. You're okay. We were getting worried." His voice was gruff, his words revealing how relieved he was. "...Dysphoria get to you?"

You nodded silently, looking away from the man in front of you, fully wrapping yourself in the towel. You felt... ashamed. Ashamed of your body, that is.

Marc and Steven (and by extension, Jake) had known you pre social transition, loved you and dated you before now. And they stayed after the fact, with Jake finally meeting you after then.

You remember when Steven had stayed up all night, researching and reading on transitioning, practicing and mumbling to himself (and the system) to not misgender you. His efforts hadn't been in vain, with all three of them only slipping up a handful of times. And you appreciated them for it.

You remember the day you came out like it was yesterday.

You'd spent the last few weeks in a crisis, researching, hyperfixating about the things you were experiencing, taking 'Are You Gay?' tests online.

---

A knock on the desk jolted you out of your hyperfixation, pulling your attention.

"Hey, baby. About time." Marc pulled up a stool, sitting beside you, taking a quick glance at your laptop. "What's that all about?" He did a vague gesture at your laptop, spying the 'Am I Trans?' quiz open.

"O-oh, nothing, don't worry about it." You quickly closed your tabs, swallowing your saliva. You grimaced at the unconvinced look on Marc's face. "Okay, maybe not nothing."

"Is there something you'd like us to know?"

Marc's words echoed in your ears as you seriously considered his question. You weren't entirely sure how he (let alone Steven) would handle that. But based on his current reaction, he didn't seem all that... surprised? You mean, you'd been a very adamant ally of LGBTQ+ rights, and you'd expressed yourself to potentially be queer, even if you hadn't done any real introspection at that point. But... what if you were faking it? Faking being trans? What if this was all just a phase like so many parents had suggested?

"I mean... maybe. I've been looking into um... potentially being trans." You said softly, the warm light from the lamp gracing yours and Marc's faces. You looked up at Marc, eyes tracing his expression. It didn't look... angry. Or happy. Neutral? Indifferent? Maybe a little confused? His eyes flickered to the window, presumably listening to Steven.

"We love you regardless." Marc spoke finally, leaning in towards you, eye level with you. "We always will." He extended a hand towards you, offering to hold yours. When you put your hand in his, his thumb gently ran across your knuckles, massaging your hand in his. "If you discover that being a man, or being neither a woman or a man, is you, then we'll be right here for you." Marc's voice had a very slight British accent, it seemed Steven was co-conscious, wanting to speak as well.

"I..." You were in a bit of shock. You hadn't really expected anything, but this was simply so warm and comforting that your eyes got misty. "...You really mean that?" You squeezed Marc's (Steven's?) hand gently, tears slowly beginning to well in your eyes.

Marc blinked, his demeanor changing in a split second, nodding quickly. Steven's eyes were soft, his lips curved in a smile. "Really. We always will." His hands held yours so delicately, so lovingly.

"...I think I wanna try using they/them."

"Okay. We can do that for you."

---

Marc walked over, putting his hands on your shoulders, straightening your posture. "Stand up straight. Hold your chin up." You complied, keeping the towel loosely wrapped around your form, looking up at Marc. A soft smile played on Marc's lips, his eyes as he looked at you. "There's my darling. C'mon. Come to bed."

You nodded and hung your towel, walking out of the bathroom with him and into your shared bedroom, getting dressed. Wordlessly, you pulled on a sports bra and a pair of your boxers, as well as one of Marc's shirts (which he scoffed playfully at before gesturing to the bed). You shuffled under the covers, trying to forget about the stretch of elastic cloth around your chest, burying your way into the duvet cover.

"Comfy, cariño?" Jake's voice cut through the silence, getting in bed as well and leaning against the headboard. You nodded, looking up at him from your spot in the blankets, extending your hand towards him, taking his hand in yours. "Bueno." His voice was always softer with you, and though you two usually teased and joked around with each other, he knew better in this moment.

The two of you laid there in bed, Jake stroking your hair as you laid your head in his lap, calloused hands massaging your scalp.

"...Te encuentras mejor?" (Are you feeling better?) Jake asked softly and slowly to allow your mind to process the Spanish, hand twirling your hair between his fingers mindlessly.

You nodded, fiddling with the seams on Jake's pants to keep your hands occupied. "Yeah. Thanks guys." The soft fabric of Jake's sweatpants definitely weren't clothes he would typically wear, but there really wasn't time for an outfit change, not when cuddles were involved. You certainly weren't complaining.

"Hey, amor, lean up a minute so I can lie down." You complied, scooting your body off Jake's lap, watching him shuffle down, lying next to you. The two of you looked into each other's eyes, not speaking, before Jake suddenly scooped your body toward's him, wrapping his arms around your waist. "Gotcha." He fluttered soft kisses to your neck and jawline, chuckling as you giggled and squirmed. The kiss-tickle torment ended after a few long moments, Jake just trying to keep the dysphoria off your mind, Marc and Steven watching the both of you.

You wrapped an arm around Jake's waist, not bothering to finagle your other arm under him to properly hold him. You just relaxed in his arms, his hands against the small of your back, rubbing small circles into you. "This is nice." You sighed softly, nestling your face into Jake's chest.

"It really is, amor."

=========

masterlist/intro

=========

lets say i mightve been projecting a little

hope you enjoyed!

- milo 💛

44 notes · View notes

summeroflove-if · 11 months

Text

Let's talk about the feedback I've received...

Every response was 100% anonymous, and most of what I've received is very helpful, so I just want to go through some of the stuff I've been told and what I'm implementing. And more responses are welcome.

Scene Length

46.2% of the people who have filled it out think that the scenes are just long enough, 38.5% of the people who have filled it out think they were too short, 7.7% of you said they were too long, and 7.7% of you essentially said 'most are just right, but some are too short.'

The breakfast scenes are mostly being extended, but it depends on who you're coupled up with and the choices you've made - for example, it's possible to have an argument with Anwar, so that part won't be extended for obvious reasons.

The bedtime scenes won't be extended on the first night (they're intended to be a little too short, indicated by the producers turning off the light too quick), but future bedtime scenes will be longer.

Choices

Most people are happy with the number of choices, but some people want more flirty choices and others want more reserved options, so there may be more options in future.

I would also like to note that I have coded scenes that are affected by the stats, but if no one is seeing those changes, then they're not strong enough (for example, Mattie can kiss MC instead of Vanessa in the challenge if MC's stats are a certain level).

I am working on a personality quiz for the beginning of the game, just to set a base level - it's very generic but does strongly set your stats so be intentional about your choices when it comes in.

Character Customisation

Some people want more customisation, which has partially been added - for example, someone wanted more transfeminine options, which has been included, but it's been put at the start, just after gender, so it's set from the beginning.

I have also added the option to set your height from between 5'1 and 6'4 - those numbers were picked so Mattie stays the shortest, and Theo remains the tallest. I have considered adding body types (slim, curvy, athletic, etc.) but other than being for flavour, it doesn't impact the game very much and I'm hesitant to add it when there are plenty of details I can already refer to.

Someone asked for piercing options, which are already in the public demo in the same place you decide whether to have tattoos.

Regarding the request for prosthetics or medical equipment, I sadly have to say no. I am a disabled, chronically ill person with a lot of experience with other disabled and chronically ill people, but I cannot make the adaptions needed in this case while doing justice to the game - it's just too complicated.

As said in the past, the Villa is wheelchair accessible, and there are staff on site to help in medical terms, so you are free to imagine your character as disabled and/or chronically ill, but I cannot write that.

Finally, I will not code the game to allow MC to be straight or gay. I appreciate where people are coming from, but the cast is advertised to be all bi - MC would not be allowed on the show unless they were into 2+ genders. You can lock yourself out of routes if you directly turn them down, so if you're not interested and you get the chance, just do that.

Other comments

There will be more alone time with your partner, but please remember you are only on the second day, so people are still learning about each other.

Secondly, you were supposed to couple up on first impressions, not based on any personality. Yes, you can chat with Anwar and Haoyu, but that's it for a reason - and even Haoyu thinks he's a bit nuts for asking to couple up with MC before meeting the others.

Finally, I'm not going to tell you who's truly interested in MC, who's just playing along, etc - the point is to find out for yourself. This means there will also be no POVs from the ROs perspective and I won't be answering the asks about it.

#meta

27 notes · View notes

starburstjuno · 2 years

Text

Dad!Eddie Headcanons

look!! i’m nothing if not eddie munson’s whore and being eddie munson’s whore involves A LOT of daydreaming of him as a dad. like a lot. this man would slay as a punk rock dad and i’ll hear nothing else ever.

warnings : pregnancy mentions, childbirth mentions, extreme self indulgence ahead

word count : 895

requests open | masterlist

when eddie first finds out you’re pregnant, he’s not even worried about himself and what this means for his future

he’s ALL about making sure you’re comfortable and happy (and safe, let’s be real)

he’ll never pressure you talk about it if you don’t want to, he’ll let you move in with him THAT DAY like he’s so accommodating

he also fully takes responsibility like hey i had a part in this, i’m gonna be here for the whole process no matter what it is

and when you finally come to the conclusion (together) that you’re gonna keep and raise the baby, he can’t even hide that he’s kinda excited like

yeah maybe he didn’t have a great childhood/great parents to look up to and follow, but he’d be lying if he said he never wanted kids

he always loved kids, kids always loved him, and he thought it would be kinda fun so the second you’re like yep i wanna keep it he’s onboard 100000% ready to go

it’s adorable just how much he does for you when you’re pregnant

even in the early stages, he insists on your keeping your feet up and never lifting a finger

of course one day he comes home and sees you literally folding clothes and nearly dies

“why are you doing so much? are you trying to overwork yourself? what about the baby?”

it’s time to have a discussion about eddie not being So Overdramatic about everything even tho yeah that’s kinda his thing

it takes some time but by the time the late stages of pregnancy come around, eddie’s calmed down and even has a little breathing thing he does to keep himself level

so imagine the way he freaks shit when your water breaks

there’s no one in that whole hospital pacing more than eddie munson

you’re all checked in, already set up in a room with nurses checking in and everything and my man is pacing the longest part of the room so fast

but the second you’re in pain he’s right there!

he literally refuses to leave your side no matter what, even when the nurses tell him that the father usually waits outside

thats not eddie’s gig tho. you’re hurting? he’s there.

and on top of that, it’s the birth of his child. of course he’s gonna be there

now, eddie would be a great dad no matter what, but let me tell you when i say that eddie munson is the PERFECT man to have a few little girls like,,,

princess stickers on his guitar, pink glitter nail polish before the show, plastic princess crowns for album cover shoots, everything

eddie 👏🏻 is 👏🏻 a 👏🏻 girl 👏🏻 dad 👏🏻 (ignoring how much i hate the term girl dad bye)

king rolls up in black ripped skinny jeans, old fucked up combat boots and a metal t-shirt to pick up his daughter from ballet class and she’s in all powder-pink and bows and shit

his daughter(s) love it when their dad plays his music in the car!!!!

toddler in a disney princess costume dress that she wears every day headbanging to metal in the back of her dads car on the way to kindergarten vibes

but also eddie is just so chill that he’d be down for whatever his kids wanted to do

wanna braid my hair? go ahead bud

wanna paint my nails? let me wash my hands first

want me to teach you to play guitar? your hands might be a little to small but fuck it we ball, let’s do it anyway

also!! coming out to dad!eddie?

bye he’s the type to just sip his beer and be like word, you wanna order pizza for dinner?

so unbothered because he knows absolutely nothing will ever make him stop loving his kid(s)

would absolutely go to pride events! would absolutely have more fun than his gay kid bc being a d&d nerd and metalhead he’s very familiar with campy ass bullshit

eddie mixes cool punk rocker dad with embarrassing “how do you do fellow kids” dad and he’s so right for that

like at first all of his kids friends think he’s so slay and edgy and cool like woah dude!! your dads in a band and plays d&d that’s kinda sick!!!

and then they meet him and he’s making puns and referencing memes in a way where he obviously half understands what he’s saying and half doesn’t understand but he’s saying it with his whole chest anyway

then half of his kids friends would be like your dad is so embarrassing i’m so sorry for you and the other half would basically just be dustin in season 4 where they are OBSESSED and IDOLIZE this man, and they absolutely shouldn’t because he’s a terrible role model he’s just trying really hard not to be

definitely brings up how he used to sell drugs in high school as if it made him way cooler before rushing to tell the kids not to sell drugs (never tells them not to do drugs tho)

i just!!!! i know eddie would be such a good dad like no matter what challenges his kids threw at them he would handle it in a very sloppy, probably funny, and extremely sincere way

he just loves his kids and that’s it!!!

thank you good night!!!

#eddie munson #stranger things #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson headcanons #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson imagines #stranger things x reader #stranger things x y/n #stranger things headcanons #stranger things imagine #stranger things imagines

52 notes · View notes

mysteriouslybluepirate · 1 year

Text

Cucumber Day 5 Watching Con's Filmography

(I also listened to a short story he'd been in, scroll down a bit on my page and you'll find it. For everyone who watched this and needs a refresher only on Con, someone finally posted a compilation on youtube. If you haven't seen the series, you'll probably be lost. But I'm sure its a fun out of context watch)

Summary wrote after binging the entire series in one day.

Please, Please, Please go online and check every warning for this show. Not only for the graphic hate crime but see everything they warn about. Protect yourself. This review will discuss sexual topics, nudity, and substance abuse, and age gaps.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

So the show. I think it was fun, not the best tv show, and has some mixed messages, but a fun watch.

I grew up in a household/town where sex wasn't discussed. Especially queer shit. This show is very in-your-face about it and I admire the shit out of it. The friendships felt lived in. The experience of being a young queer 'hunted' by older queers was explored enough to not make Henry a complete hypocrite, sadly. But the focus was always more on Henry, even in the end, Henry still got off on the image of a 20 something during sex.

Fully noting, I did skip scenes. Some things were just a bit much for me, so I took the liberty to save peace and move on. Yet, the show does seem to balance heavy moments with joy and comedy. Hell, during a fucking funeral, some guys need to go check their dicks for hair. And you know what, I feel that if Lance were there, he wouldn't even be suprised.

I loved Freddy. Holy shit, at first, I was worried about how he'd be treated, but by the end, I was rooting for him. Obviously, the guy is just so used to being hunted for his body. This topic was brushed on with the teacher, and not really felt by the plot or the characters around him. I'm happy he felt like he could leave and just grow up as a person. I'm so happy they let the audience see a time jump where everyone turns up okay, and happy.

I'm not a queer man, but I know this shit can resonate. I've seen queer men online discuss these same points. Predatory age gaps, the pressure to be hot, aging, commitment, and communication issues in relationships...This isn't the best show for all that to be taken seriously but I'll leave that discussion to that community.

So Con's character, Cliff, was right about Henry in episode 1, and I fucking love when writers do this shit. "You always did that. Never had affairs, just obsessions." Cause in the context, yes, Henry never cheated. But he never has deep relationships; he has brief obsessions until things get too serious and he needs to move on. Hell, In episode 8, that's the conclusion Henry comes to himself. "Maybe one day I'll come to terms to it...being gay". Cause he wants intimacy but fears men and getting close to people. It's that closeness he struggles with.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

The things that bugged me about the series

The entire bit about the boys playing chicken for internet attention. Again, I know this is a thing. But now a days we legitimately have children doing this stuff unknowingly for people online. Or parents unknowingly showing their children on tik tok for millions of people. I know people who were groomed, and avoided it like crazy growing up as a kid online. I cringed every time this plot point was mentioned, feeling like a kid was a second away from getting hurt. It just felt a bit much to touch on for me in this type of show. Again, they tried to have their cake and eat it too by showing Harry get a slap on the wrist, but it just didn't feel like it justified the plot line being there in the first place. Seriously, what did it add to the story besides showing Henry that maybe he should go back home? He could have done so many other things. The only funny bit is when Cliff commented how fucking weird straight people are sometimes.

Cliff says in ep 1 he had a history of going after older men when he was young, and the age gap is boggeling. Again, this could mean he only had a crush on him. But if we're going to bring up how wierd it was, then why is this and the teacher sub plot where minors brought up the only time its mentioned. Like yeah, the teacher-student situation was fucked up. How about the 30 and 40-year-olds going after people in their early 20s. "I'm horrified to discover I have standards." Fun line Cliff, yeah. But they are literally minors. Age gaps and taking advantage of younger queers is a real issue in the queer community. There should 100% be a place to talk about it. But when every 'likable' character does it without issue, then it's still a problem. Hell, this is why Freddy's plot felt so out of left field in ep 8 with Cliff and him fucking before running off. I don't know why he did it, knowing that Cliff wanted him for his body? Or maybe he just wanted comfort after that argument and knew he'd get it by having sex? I genuinely want to know other interpretations. If Freddy felt like this, it would have been more satisfying for Henry to learn his lesson and not use 20-year-old Freddy as wank material for the next 6/7 years. Also, Freddy running away from Cliff with his pants down was just funny.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Now, wash most of that out of your head!

The fun part that we have all been waiting for-

TALKING ABOUT CLIFF COSTELLO

(Yes, Cliff is kind of a douche early on. Enjoying eyeing Freddy and praising Henry for leaving his boyfriend for a 'young boy toy'. But, as the series goes, it dies down. Cliff, pre-episode 6 was a fun jackass. Post-ep 6 is one of the best characters in the show and the best friend you could ask for.)

I have seen most gifs online for this character. The soft outfits, smoking, suits, smiling. And fucking YET. The three scenes to me that make me love this character are-

"And obviously, I could take a statement. Have a briefcase with me, files and a pen. Because solicitors get searched entering a prison just like everyone else, but I'd still have a pen. Because a pen is all I'd need, really. I think it would take me a second to lean across and insert the pen through his throat. Right here. At the base. Straight through to the spine. (I could do that.) He'd bleed out in seconds. Dead. So... that's what I'll do. With your permission." I need Izzy to do this speech. Please god. In all your infinite wisdom. In this moment, I 100% felt that this lawyer would murder the murderer of his friend in sheer rage with a fucking pen.

Cliff pulling up(no crutches *curtsies with a smile*) to save Henry's ass from saying something stupid to the cops after their place gets ransacked. Stepping in and ensuring Freddy doesn't assault someone in front of cops.

"I look forward to the tribunal because the law is magnificent in this regard. It's not up to us to prove homophobia, it's up to you to prove homophobia does not exist. Best of luck. Thank you." AHHHHHHHH Smarmy, confident, smiling Con, I love it. Maybe the hottest thing Cliff does in this series, the outfit, the glaring before hand, the confidence, and AHHH.

His stand-out moments are when he's being a loyal, caring motherfucker. Trust me, after days of seeing a sad, depressed, miserable Con, seeing him thirsting after men was fun. Seeing him make dick jokes and act like an 'Elder Gay' that protected his own did heal my soul. But there was just a fucking genuine happiness he brought to the role.

I love that, even though he's a character Henry can rely on, Henry would never stay at his flat. (Obviously, cause then the plot wouldn't happen, but I like to think they know they'd both bring out the worst in each other).

Henry uses him for his knowledge of the law when doing cagey shit. It's great. Like getting his job back or doing the whole weird shit mentioned above for extra money. Seeing Cliff doing his best to stay semi-professional and not visibly judge the shit out of Henry for essentially being a soft core pimp is so fucking funny. Also, his 'that's our song' speech, where he goes on about how people steal underground culture, was fun.

The funeral made me respect Cliff, as he knew how to handle the situation. Keeping the situation safe enough in public so that Henry could have his own time to break down.

When Cliff didn't push, let Henry grieve on his own time, it was beautiful. Many of us would have immediately pushed that boundary. Trying to let ourselves feel better by stopping someone else from having destructive emotions. But Cliff knows better. Hell, when Henry is crying we see Cliff tearing up. Showing that Cliff knows to just step back tells us so much about how these two men care for each other.

Now a tiny praise corner about writing an Elder Gay lawyer character-

The sheer joy in Cliff knowing he could use the 'law' to protect queer people. Both for Lance and for getting Henry his job back. If Cliff is as old as Con, he'd have been a lawyer starting in the 1990's. He would have in practice during queer legalization post-thatcher in the UK. There's a good reason he seemed to be the happiest when they got home after getting his job back. He would have been taught Section 28 as a queer man.

'The fight for sexual equality however, was far from over. Section 28 of the Local Government Act 1988, introduced by the Conservative Government under Margaret Thatcher, banned local authorities from ‘promoting homosexuality’ or ‘pretended family relationships’, and prohibited councils from funding educational materials and projects perceived to 'promote homosexuality'. The legislation prevented the discussion of LGBT issues and stopped pupils getting the support they needed. Section 28 was repealed in 2003, and Prime Minister David Cameron apologised for the legislation in 2009.'

He went from learning about all that shit as a young lawyer(who fucking survived the AIDS crisis), plus worse, to using ANTI DISCRIMINATION LAW for LGBTQ people! (kinda) So yeah. There's a very good fucking reason why that scene made me pause and stim for the fucking life of me. He was the happiest one when they came home, belting and smiling! So much has changed over his life and AHHH-

(This just hurts knowing this defence is all still legal where I live. And rights are being stripped every day... But hope still exists...yatta yatta.)

The friendship between Cliff and Henry feel so lived in. Burrowed and nestled. Clearly, Cliff has his own sad law show going on in the background and Henry is where he can let his (glorious) hair down.

I think it's funny as shit that when Henry panics and tries to find someone in mind to keep him in the moment sometimes he accidentally imagines Cliff. In a 'I've heard way to much about my friends sex lives so I think I know what it looks like' kind of way.

I also think it's funny that in the two times we see him in time jump to the future (At the table toasting Freddy and in Bed) Cliff is still not entirely gray after 6-7 years (obviously, they didn't think/want to age him up or do makeup just for a gag). However, Icon behavior.

His outfits? I would wear most of them. He is gender and life envy. Again, I think Cliff could have been a character to show how happy some people are without relationships. We get this vibe from him with the whole 'you're not tied down' speech, and I wish that was a concept explored more on TV.

He's the least depressed lawyer character I have seen on TV. If I could be a Cliff Costello type, I would go into law.

I think a good mix of the best parts of Cliff Costello and all of Val Pearson is who I want to be as an 'elder'(again, I turn 21 in January). Confident, loyal, willing to stick up for others, funny as shit. Maybe has a more stable love life than them, and hopefully not any substance addictions, but god. They just have so much joy when you know these characters had to have lived through such shitty times for queer people.

At first, I did this just to explore Con's work. But I think this has all helped me feel some hope for the future. What people need is support and love and a place to exist.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Overall ratings

Cinematography: 7/10. Fun edits. Fun motifs. Loved the opening, and the sound effects to suggest certain things to the audience was fun.

Story: 6/10. Would be higher but some shit just got stuck in my craw. Again, the show just got better and better as it went and by the end I just felt satisfied. Would be an 8 ish if not for my issues mentioned above.

Characters besides Con: 7/10. Everyone plays really fun parts. Everyone is shitty in their own unique way, and for the most part, they get what they deserve. Even if they haven't really learned their lesson yet (Henry, I swear to god you are on a wire). Satisfying arcs for everyone besides Henry, but that's the point. I'm happy the Collective wheedled out into a more realistic ending where these people could go on and live happy lives and not coddle the man.

Con: 8/10. He is so much fun, and he is having so much fun. I wish he was in it longer, but in every scene, he is in, he eats it up. He goes from serious lawyer to best friend in a flash and it just makes me so happy. Cliff is up there with my favorite performances, some of his actions just kill the vibe a bit for me. Again. Any series where Con smiles is a win. Also, I love that he bodied a character who uses movement aids, and it just made me more excited to see what he'd do with Izzy for S2.

OVERALL: 6-7/10.

Not an easy recommend but could be a fun rewatch when I start losing somd hope about our community, while trying to see the real issues that exist to this day...or see more people online criticize queer people for wanting to have sex.

I would love to know your opinions about Cliff, thoughts about my thoughts, and more below! Have a Lovely day/night, everyone!

Next on the docket: Kisses in the Dark. An 8 ish hour audiobook on Spotify! Seems to be a supernatural horror Staring Con O'Neill and Rhiannon Clements(hopefully not a romance, since, with the person I googled, the age gap is 28 years. It's a bit different with voice acting...but now that I know? eh). I will be listening to that on Saturday (the 17th), and will have my thoughts on that here soon. I've been warned it was recorded during the pandemic at homes. So if you want to join in, prepare yourself for that.

As always, some of you lovelies who suggested/commented on my last few posts! Thank you so much!

@ivegotnonameidea

@treesofgreen

#Cucumber BBC #con o'neill #con oniell #cliff costello #Cliff Costello #How long can I talk about a character with less than 40 minutes of screen time #BBC Cucumber #Long enough to establish that most of these characters form a conglomerate of what I want in life...so #Con's Conography

34 notes · View notes

alexzalben · 2 years

Note

Noah and Millie just did an interview and said the show is going to leave weather Will is gay or not up for interpretation. I knew we were being queerbaited

*sighs for one million hours*

I read the interview as well, and in one sense they are right, that you don't necessarily need to or know how to put labels on yourself, particularly when you're a high school freshman in the 1980s. HOWEVER. You do need to follow the plot in your fictional TV show that is made and airs in the 2020s. And though I would understand if they don't have, say, Will beat Vecna by declaring "I am a gay man in America" and kissing a receptive Mike and then they have a big ol' Upside Down wedding... You also have Robin talking to Steve about how if she comes out to the wrong person in the beginning of the season, it'll ruin her in Hawkins. Just in terms of plot structure, I will be gobsmacked -- and annoyed -- if they don't connect that in some way with Will at the end of the season. Again, don't need to have him make any bold declarations, but there does need to be a resolution -- or step forward -- for this very clear plotline that is happening on the show.

I'm willing for the moment to take this as an interview with the actors that is talking about the first seven episodes, and see where the final two episodes go, then make a determination about how well they executed this storyline. But the interview does also make me extremely concerned.

#stranger things

27 notes · View notes

imadhatt3r · 1 year

Note

OKAY okay… since everyone went for 69… how about your top 3 songs! :3c

1. The Town Inside Me by AISHA and Arc System Works (Guilty Gear Strive OST)

Okay, so this is a weird one, I know. To explain it, I'm afraid that I'm going to need to get a bit personal:

Bridget was released in August of this year as a DLC character for Guilty Gear Strive. In her story mode, Bridget accepts the fact that she's a transgender woman. This doesn't come easy, however- she worries that by being openly herself, she might cause her family shame or that they will reject her, and she's convinced that it's better to just keep it hidden, and feel depressed and anxious.

August was also the month were I was starting my autism spectrum diagnosis. I was coming to terms with who I am, and that some of my behaviors or feelings are normal and should be respected, instead of me having to "unlearn" them. Sometimes it felt like my mind was being broken and forcefully domesticated, because I wanted to better "fit in" with the neurotypical society around me. It was unplesant and hard for me, but I thought that it has to be done, and that I will never be able to live a fuller life than I do now because people will never accept me for who I am.

Bridget as a character, and this song in paticular, have really helped me with accepting who I am. Our struggles aren't identical, but I believe that you don't have to be perfectly aligned with who the character is if you find comfort in their arc or personality or whatever else. Town Inside Me is a musical way of showing Bridget's arc- from someone who has to hide and stifle who they are, and it's bearable, sure, but it feels awful, like your body is empty and your brain is almost split in half, where the real you is somewhere outside of you, in the back, while the pruned version walks around and talks with others, behaving how people around them would want them to. Then, there's the realization, that you can't keep living like this, and you think that it's impossible at first, but something finally snaps in you and you're considering that first step. You jump into that deep, dark water, and you never want to push that "real" you in the back ever again, you want to embrace them and apologise for being ashamed of them and promise that you will never leave them again. Your life instantly gets incredibly vibrant, and it doesn't matter what anyone thinks or what chamges around you, you have yourself with you always, and that's the most powerful ally you can have.

So yeah, sorry again for being so personal, but this song and Bridget the character have really came into my life at a perfect moment, and, as weird as it might sound, her story and character song have given me a lot of comfort and budding confidence. If they'll ever make Bridget figurines, I'm the first one in line.

2. Ram it Down by Dorian Electra

And now, it's time for something completely different.

Dorian Electra and I have a fascination with one very specific subject: homoeroticism. This one mixes the common homophobic expression of "(stop) ramming (your agenda or whatever) down my throat", mixing it with with aggressive oral sex (which is a logical connection when it comes to associations). The beat is just as forceful, combined with shouting vocals, it really gives off the air of someone (rightfully) venting out their frustrations. It twists the narrative around; The homophobe is the side that's "giving" in oral sex, begging the subject to "ram it down" their throat (harder, farther and deeper), one who secretly yearns to suck dick behind their homophobic veneer. It gives the "power", metaphorically, to the gay person subjected to this kind of "silk-gloves-on" homophobia, through the metaphor of oral sex, where they are the "recieving" half, who controls the one who is more submissive.

I actually found out about this song thanks to Lil Mariko, who's featured near the end, since I'm a big fan. Her screaming vocals really add a perfect finish.

3. Liquid Nights And Disco Lights by Miracle of Sound

I was about my number 3 before, so I'll keep it short- perfectly captures the melancholy, wonder, hope, but also the foreboding nature Harry goes through as he hopes to regain (or build a new) identity. A must-listen for any Disco Elysium fan, imo.

#hatter blathers #asks #heavymetalmutual #audio #spotify warped #IM SORRY TO GET SO PERSONAL I JUST NEEDED TO EXPLAIN WHY THIS IS MY NO 1 #😖😖😖#thank you for your ask 🥺💗

2 notes · View notes

stagefoureddiediaz · 2 years

Note

I feel like I might need to stay off tumblr all week because I can already picture the freak outs lol. "Ryan is leaving the show so thats why they are having him make up with his dad so he can move to Texas ". "There wasn't enough canon Eddie queerness". Ext ext.

I think this episode was the perfect example of why its fun to speculate but manage what will actually happen. Sure I would have loved Chris with Buck, and maybe more angst with him in Texas. But logically I was like its probably more about parenting and not queer Eddie because that wasnt his issue with his parents. In fact I was the original anon who posted that to you.

But the thing was there so many clues and this was an amazing episode. And honestly I kind of figured Chris wouldn't be with Buck because this episode needed to be the Buck and Taylor breaking point you know.

But again to anyone who will send you freak outs, unfortunately its not all fanfiction though we would love it. Your probably not gonna get Eddie say I'm gay in the finale. I would bet on lingering looks and at least a ending scene of Buddie together in whatever form. If we are lucky Buck crashing on his couch. And if I'm wrong I will be happy to be wrong. But shipping is always 95% faith and I still have a ton of faith because what else is happening other then 6A being devoted to the romcom of Eddie.

On a side note... I couldn't get into the original Eddie and his dad scene because I was like Helena tie your hair back your cooking for 50. Sorry not sorry!!

Hey Nonnie

Thankfully I have avoided all of the 'Ryan is leaving the show so Eddie is going to move back to Texas' nonsense that I am sure is happening elsewhere so lets keep it that way and not entertain the crazy theories some parts of fandom seem to come up with!!! And I also don't seem to have had many freak outs (fingers crossed that it stays that way!)

it really is a good example of why speculation is just that - speculation and if you forget that you are only setting yourself up for heartbreak!! I've had a great time exploring the various possibilites around Chris being in LA or in Texas (in the end it didn't really matter because we never actually saw him!!) and looking at the queer v parenting of it all. I never expect 95% of what I ramble about to actually come true it's some fun and I know that so I'm rarely left disappointed by what the show actually puts out (the one exception is the fact Taylor is still hanging around like a bad smell but there we go!!)

I personally feel we did get a huge amount of Queer Eddie undertones, and like i've said in many of my ask replies, I never expected Eddie to come out dressed in a rainbow and proclaiming his queerness from the rooftops. We got more or less what I expected, it was maybe a little more subtle than I would have liked, but I'm not mad about it because the parenting aspect is important to Eddies Queer storyline. I said I expected that Eddie and his father would find some common ground from which to go forward - which is what we got, and I expected us to get some insight into young Eddie - which again we got - I would have like more - to have seen it built on and explored further in the episode, but I get why we didn't and actually think it sets up 6a perfectly.

The 911 writers are always careful with the language they choose to write into the script and what we got from that script, from the set, props, costumes etc has plenty to explore in terms of signposting where Eddie is headed. To me us hearing how Eddie was pushed into 'manhood' at such an early age shows exactly why he would have buried any queer feelings and thoughts he was having - the assumption that he would perform the role of man of the house in his fathers absence, not have a present father figure and being given so much responsibility are all clear indicators that Eddie was pushed into a certain box and not given the freedom to explore who he actually was/is. We are now seeing that he is going to be able to have the freedom to explore what he didn't get to as a child and part of that will continue to revolve around his parents.

It sets up 6a having a visit from Helena and Ramon - as Eddie continues to have his queer awakening and if we do maybe we'll get to see Buck parenting Christopher thrown into the mix and witness the reactions of Eddies parents to it all - it would be a great and interesting thing to look at. I would love for them to see Buck coparenting Chris and see how he is thriving and ho Eddie is also thriving and figure it out and be happy - is that something we'll get - who knows but its entirely possible and we'll only find out when 6a airs!

As for Helenas hair - I get where you are coming from, but totally get why they styled it that way - it was about her being in control, but also a way of hiding her from the conversation - so she was there, but also not there- her hair was a curtain - a bit like a church confessional!!

#kym answers things #nonnie asks #911 on fox #911 spoilers #911onfox #911 fox #911 #eddie diaz #eddie #911 speculation

8 notes · View notes

vole-mon-amour · 1 year

Text

My policeman (2022), part 2.

The difference between Tom and Patrick in the mirrors and Marion and Tom. How Tom faced Patrick and was looking forward to it, but how with Marion he is nervous and would rather be anywhere else. I kind of understand why people did it, but I also don't think I'd be able to do it. "It's the right thing to do" again. No, it is not. Ruining your life like that is simply wrong and shouldn't exist even as a concept.

Tom's parents were definitely assholes if they raised him this way and didn't break the cycle of this kind of abuse. Ugh. And Thomas is an asshole, too, if he treats Patrick this way.

Pain. ;_;

I want to shake Marion. "I want to go upstairs with you." And bringing Patrick to their house. You're a fucking idiot. Instead of being a good beard, you do this. Could'have talked to Tom and come to terms of 'I know you love him. You can be with him. And I'll stay with you 'cause you need it." Could have found a lover of her own that wouldn't mind.

This is not Professor Marston and the wonder women, unfortunately. A different story, I get it. And yet.

Ah yes, of course it's fix things. Cause it always worked wonders for all the unhappy couples. As if that worked good for Lestat and Louis. You idiots.

Patrick is so supportive & he doesn't deserve this kind of treatment.

Go fuck yourself, Marion. A very bad beard.

They are the absolute cutest.

Crying.

Fucking Marion.

"My policeman was magnificently alive in front of me." Patrick, darling, you deserved so much better. ;_;

Tom, I swear to fucking god—

And the editing that shows Patrick being beaten in prison right before this. How is he still alive. And the trauma he carries. ;____;

It was so obvious that Marion reported Patrick & I am so mad at her.

;_____;

My question is, why did it take Marion to read Patrick's journals to finally decide to leave? You were unhappy all this time. You could have been smarter about the marriage. You could have had a 'friend' of your own while still being married to Tom.

"But I'm not alone, am I?" Patrick always believed in Tom while tom never believed in him back. Or in himself, at that point. Just live your damn life and what's left of it. To waste so many years of your life pretending. :(

Weeping right here. And how's your evening doing? ;_;

That was genuinely a good movie. Not what I'd like to see when it comes to gay people but yeah. Great casting, too. The older versions were very believable when it came to comparing to the young actors. I mean, I could see Harry not being a natural, but I was so invested, I could overlook it. Heartbreaking story nonetheless.

#mp #natiswatching

0 notes

isntaberuacar · 4 years

Text

#also show yourself is about finally coming to terms with being gay #frozen #frozen 2 #elsa #let it go #into the unknown #dont even try to argue

78 notes · View notes

humanwheatleyslefttoenail · 3 years

Note

why do you ship chell and glados if glados is basically her mom

Okay this is actually a pretty common misconception in the fandom that unfortunately a lot of people have taken as canon, but I’m feeling nice so I’ll answer your question.

Basically, anon is referencing a theory from around 2012 that Caroline is Chell’s mom. The evidence for the theory is as follows:

- The turret opera calls Chell “bambina”, which means “little girl” in Italian

- Chell’s name can be found on a Bring Your Daughter To Work Day science project

- GLaDOS references the possibility of Chell being adopted multiple times

- GLaDOS is significantly nicer to Chell after discovering she’s Caroline

And, anon, you’re right, it does sound like a pretty good argument at first glance. The problem is that a lot of these points don’t actually hold up to scrutiny.

For example, although “bambina” literally translates to “little girl,” it’s often used in the same way “baby girl” is used in English - it can mean child, but contextually it’s usually a flirtatious term. (Source: Cambridge Dictionary)

For Chell’s science project, it doesn’t work as evidence for the theory because GLaDOS killed the scientists around 1998-ish, when Caroline had presumably been uploaded several years earlier and Cave was already dead. Also, Chell’s in her 20′s, and since we know from Lab Rat/Portal 2 that people don’t age in stasis, and that Doug put Chell at the top of the test subject list only weeks after the takeover, Chell was 28 at the time of the takeover. The science project is really only an Easter egg and doesn’t actually fit into the canon timeline let alone prove anything about Caroline and Cave.

GLaDOS talking about Chell being adopted is a pretty strong point, I’ll admit, but also it’s important to remember that maybe half of what GLaDOS says is true. And even if we take what she says at face value, she also says there’s a man and a woman in stasis with Chell’s last name, which could not have been Cave and Caroline because they were already dead at that point. And the official book Final Hours Of Portal 2 confirms Cave and Caroline were not married and could not have shared the same name anyway. It was also the 50′s, an an unmarried couple of two likely famous people having a child would’ve been scandalous, and yet we see no hint of something like this affecting their company.

Also, although GLaDOS is nicer to Chell after the Caroline reveal, that’s not necessarily indicative of a mother-daughter relationship, and neither is any of their interactions. It’s just. GLaDOS being friendlier.

Finally, when this theory was made (and let’s be honest - it still is happening) Chell was constantly whitewashed to hell and back.

Chell is Japanese-Brazilian, and Cave and Caroline are white, so it would be a near impossibility for her to be their biological child (and insisting otherwise is kinda. just. whitewashing). And although people will cry “adoption!”, based on what I’ve previously proven, that’s pretty much impossible. This theory that somehow she’s Cave and Caroline’s daughter erases an important part of her identity. [Disclaimer, I am white, but this is what I’ve heard from around the fandom]

With all that said, the idea that she’s the daughter of Cave and Caroline really doesn’t hold weight when you really analyze the canon. It’s surface level analysis that doesn’t hold up. And honestly? The idea kinda cheapens the story. It’s much more powerful that GLaDOS learns to care about Chell and becomes kinder than just. Oh, she remembered she’s related to Chell.

But to actually answer your ask.

Why do I ship them?

Well, they aren’t mother and daughter, I think that’s pretty obvious now. But if you actually look at a lot of subtext in Portal 2, without the lens of the mother theory, it’s actually pretty romantic!

I know that sounds ridiculous, but bear with me!

Now - it’s totally okay if you don’t ship them. I get it. Their interactions in Portal 1 and the first half of Portal 2 are toxic if not outright well. Y’know. Murderous. I completely understand why that turns people off from shipping them, and ultimately, shipping is a personal thing. To each his own.

But before you judge me, let me present my case.

Exhibit A: Portal

Portal is kinda gay. No, really. Chell and GLaDOS are enemies in this game, but the entire focus is on their relationship (good or not) and the power struggle between them. They are opposites, two sides of the same coin, different representations of opposite ideologies. People have analyzed Portal as a relationship metaphor, or as a metaphor about women’s role in society - either way, the heart of Portal is the complicated dynamic between Chell and GLaDOS.

That’s not necessarily enough to code a romance, but a lot of popular (and especially popular queer ones) ships begin with opposite ideologies, symbolic powers colliding. Portal cements their relationship as a toxic one, something on the verge of falling apart and hurting both parties in the end. The ending image, of Chell and GLaDOS side by side after the battle, reinforces the symbolic parallels between the two.

The companion cube is also pretty symbolically important to this interpretation. It’s literally a representation of someone’s heart, and you are told to protect it and preserve it under GLaDOS’ orders, and then you have to destroy it regardless of how you actually feel about doing that. You are destroying GLaDOS’ heart, so to speak.

There’s also the ending song, Still Alive. The lyrics speak for themselves.

They hint that GLaDOS’ feelings about Chell are more complicated than they may appear (if she’s not being sarcastic...) and she literally talks about Chell breaking her heart (also, think back to the companion cube. Yeah.). The entire song is structurally similar to many a breakup number, with the laments of “I’m glad it happened, but also leave.”

At the end, we also see that the long promised cake GLaDOS was supposedly lying about was real the whole time. Before Portal 2 came out, it was mostly interpreted as a stinger ending (along with the nicer lyrics of Still Alive) to make you question GLaDOS’ true motives and intentions.

She actually did have a real cake waiting for you. (Side note - not really evidence, but in Argentina, “torta” means cake in Spanish. It’s also a slang term for lesbians. So. Do with that what you will). The cake is what GLaDOS offers you to lull you into the sense that she cares about you, so discovering that “the cake is a lie” wakes you up to the realization that she doesn’t. Except then the idea is subverted one last time, at the very end, showing that the cake is real and at least some of what she said she meant.

You also see the companion cube. You know, GLaDOS’ symbolic heart?

Now, okay, you might be thinking I’m extrapolating a bit too much. And you might be right. But Portal is not the only game in the series, and if you’re asking me about Cave and Caroline you obviously know about Portal 2.

Exhibit B: Portal 2

If you thought Portal was gay, Portal 2 turns that up to 11.

Even before GLaDOS wakes up, you’re treated to some visual subtext. A few of Rattmann’s drawings representing the events of Portal 2 focus a lot on the relationship between GLaDOS and Chell, with more of the cake symbolism.

In this, you can see a face layered on top of GLaDOS. This could be foreshadowing about Caroline, and likely is, but also resembles his other drawing of Chell. It insists that Chell is a part of GLaDOS, or reinforces parallels between Chell and Caroline, hinting at something either way.

In this picture, we also see Chell standing on top of GLaDOS, in the same position where the overlay of the feminine face was, again referencing the parallel. It also presents them as opposites, fundamental parts of the same thing and both connected to the same basis, but on opposing sides.

When GLaDOS wakes up, she returns to her antagonistic role, but there are more hints to something deeper just like in Portal.

Here, in her awakening lines, she references Chell not unlike an estranged ex. Also worth noting that GLaDOS is pretty much the personification of testing (in a sense, she is testing since she can control all of Aperture like an extension of her body), and insinuates that Chell loves to test. And that she reciprocates that feeling.

In test chamber 10, she says this:

It’s supposed to be threatening, but it does read as almost... sentimental.

There’s also another chamber with companion cubes in Portal 2. I already talked about their symbolism in Portal, and the same pretty much applies to them here. However, GLaDOS says something interesting about them during this level:

Once again, meant to be intimidating, ends up coming off as “well, GLaDOS, why were you going to give Chell a heart shaped representation of yourself that says ‘I love you?’” And you might think I’m stretching the GLaDOS’ heart metaphor thing a little far here, and I might agree, if the companion cubes didn’t literally sing Cara Mia for you.

Cara Mia is the turret opera from the end of the game, which is all about how much GLaDOS cares about Chell. More on that later. But the companion cubes play a song called Love as A Construct, and when you get close to them, they sing a specific part of the song that has the tune of Cara Mia. These things literally exist to sing about GLaDOS’ feelings.

Which makes this line a lot more. For lack of a better term. Tsundere-ish.

Then, right before the escape, she starts talking about the confetti from her fake surprise.

I really don’t have to explain this one. What else does GLaDOS consider an inconvenience but might miss anyway? Or, more aptly, who else?

Then, during the escape, she teases a (fake) final test chamber in front of you, and forms the panels in the shape of a heart. No, really.

Up to this point, a lot of the points I’ve presented are interspersed with a fair amount of antagonization on GLaDOS’ behalf, more Foe Yay than anything actually hinting at something deeper than GLaDOS being conflicted about whether she loves or hates Chell. But things really ramp up after Wheatley’s betrayal, when the two of them are forced to team up. (I should also note here that “enemies to lovers” is a pretty classic queer romance trope.)

Here, GLaDOS is put on an equal level with Chell and they have to rely on each other if they want to survive. For the rest of the singleplayer campaign, GLaDOS becomes a lot nicer and even friendly to Chell. There comes a point where she starts referring to Chell as a teammate, calling them “we.” She begins to consider them one unit, two opposites unified. Here’s what she says after the lemon rant:

You can not only see her using we, but actively talking about how her and Chell are going to fight Wheatley together. There’s also that last line - “let’s explode with some dignity.” GLaDOS has fully accepted the very likely possibility that she and Chell might die together. That she might die on the same level, and the same team as Chell. And she seems... surprisingly okay with that, as long as she and Chell go together.

It’s during the Old Aperture levels that Chell and GLaDOS also discover that they have a lot in common. This is the part of the game where GLaDOS figures out she’s Caroline, that she’s human. Or, that she’s like Chell. And Chell discovers (from what we can tell anyway) that Caroline is kind, that she’s funny and smart and so many of these things she never noticed about GLaDOS before. Now also with the knowledge she is fighting alongside another human being.

You can also draw parallels between Chell and Caroline, both intelligent women ultimately betrayed by their seemingly innocuous male friends before being trapped in Aperture and forced to team up with one another in a way that will free both of them. We see that really, GLaDOS isn’t that different from Chell - she too has been imprisoned in this place against her will, but in a completely different way. Once again, the idea of two sides of the same coin applies here.

I’ve written another meta about this before, but I also think the whole idea of repressing a part of your identity and hating it, before bonding with another woman and then realizing that it’s okay to be like her and to be on her side. It’s okay to be yourself and meeting her is what helps you discover this new part of yourself. Is kinda inherently gay. GLaDOS’ discovery of her own humanity just fits so well into a queer realization narrative, to me at least.

Then, Chell and GLaDOS escape Old Aperture and have to get through Wheatley’s tests.

Here, GLaDOS isn’t just begrudgingly on Chell’s team. She’s actively helpful. She wants to help Chell solve tests, defends her from Wheatley’s insults, and makes jokes to lighten the mood. Things that can really only be explained by her caring about Chell, especially the part about the insults. See below.

After the two escape Wheatley’s testing track, right before the boss fight GLaDOS has a few other things to say.

GLaDOS is not going to betray Chell, because of some kind of conscience. But she could easily ignore that back in her body, and yet? Here she’s deciding not to, and for no good reason. She didn’t have to say that to Chell, but she did, because she cares and she wants Chell to live.

And then, moments before the fight:

The final lines imply that GLaDOS does not think of Chell as an enemy anymore, and that it doesn’t matter what Chell thinks because they are in this together and they are getting revenge together. It’s pretty heartwarming to be honest, to know that even in a fight that will almost certainly kill you, she is there rooting for you and caring about you, even if you don’t feel the same way about her. It no longer matters to GLaDOS whether you even reciprocate - you staying alive, you making it through is enough for her.

So Chell fights Wheatley and sends him into space, all well and good, and at this point, GLaDOS has the option to kill Chell. But not only does she not, she actively saves Chell, and holds her hand in the process. If you don’t believe me:

And not only that, but when Chell goes unconscious from her injuries, GLaDOS sits and waits for her to wake up. It’s also implied that GLaDOS carries her to the elevator, since it’s where she wakes up but not where she passed out. In the scene where Chell blacks out, you can also hear the part of Love As A Construct that sounds like Cara Mia. Yeah. Yeah.

If you think that this cannot possibly get any gayer, you are wrong again, because then GLaDOS makes her final speech. Which is really just a love confession, let’s be honest.

The “surge of emotion?” Do you mean love, GLaDOS? And the idea of GLaDOS considering Chell her best friend, despite everything these two have done to each other? The idea that GLaDOS, out of all people, forgives someone?

Except this isn’t even Chell’s final send-off. GLaDOS writes her an entire opera of turrets, that sing a literal love song. (Note what I said earlier about the use of the word “bambina”).

It really can’t get any more obvious than that. “My (affectionate romantic term here), my dear, I adore you.” How. Is. That. Heterosexual. In. Any. Way.

So Chell goes to the surface, set free by GLaDOS (think of the saying “if you love something, set it free), and you think that’s the end. Until GLaDOS gives you a companion cube so you aren’t alone on the journey, and from the burn marks, you know it’s your first companion cube. Her original heart, her first gift to you, a piece of her that she wants you to carry with you to remind you that she does care about you after everything. It also gives the lyrics to Still Alive a much more genuine meaning.

Portal 2 ends, and then the ending song, another GLaDOS number plays. Just like Still Alive, Want You Gone is structurally a break up song and very obviously about GLaDOS missing Chell and “counting on” (read: caring about/loving) Chell’s tendencies and quirks.

She’s accepted Chell completely, and yet also given Chell the one thing she wants most. Only wanting Chell gone can mean GLaDOS not wanting Chell in her life anymore, but can also mean she wants to give Chell the freedom she’s wanted for so, so long. It’s the best thing she can give.

In the co-op campaign, GLaDOS also references still caring about Chell.

And that’s the end of the Portal series. Except. Brace yourself. Despite the games being over, there is STILL more subtext somehow. It gets. Even gayer.

Exhibit C: Supplemental Evidence

Valve has made a lot of extra/cut content for the Portal series, and I’ll be looking at some of it below.

This official valentine from Valve shows GLaDOS offering a romantic partner cake, which as we’ve established before, is very symbolic of GLaDOS’ feelings about and/or relationship with Chell.

There’s a lot of other concept art and official art that emphasizes their relationship too. See below.

There’s also some cut GLaDOS lines that are even gayer than the source material and again, sound like confessions or references to a breakup:

The idea of “discovering things about someone”... how much more obvious can it get?

The developers have even confirmed a lot of my commentary on Chell and GLaDOS’ relationship in The Final Hours Of Portal 2. See these quotes from the book/this post:

The devs literally describe it as a romance. They use terms like “cheating,” they wanted to write a romantic duet, JoCo purposefully wrote the endings like love songs. It is literally, blatantly said by the creators of the game that their relationship is interpreted romantically. By the creators of the game.

And if Word of God confirmation isn’t enough for you, have a song written for a cut alternate ending by GLaDOS’ voice actress, Ellen McClain. The song is literally nothing but GLaDOS talking about caring about Chell, about not wanting her to die/leave GLaDOS alone, about wanting to bake a cake with Chell, about waiting for Chell to wake her up. It’s so genuinely sweet and sad, and really, really romantic in the most heartwrenching way possible.

JoCo also came back for the Portal levels in Lego Dimensions, writing one final breakup song for GLaDOS to sing about Chell. It comes off as GLaDOS not wanting to admit she misses Chell even though she obviously does, trying to replace their relationship but failing, and even explicitly forgiving Chell/wanting her to come back.

Also, the “finally I understand,” as if only now GLaDOS understands just how deep her feelings for Chell are... What else can I say?

In Lego Dimensions, GLaDOS also outright rejects anyone who isn’t Chell.

In Conclusion:

Why do I ship Chell and GLaDOS?

Well, ultimately, it doesn’t matter whether I ship them.

Because I think it’s glaringly obvious Portal does.

#chelldos #chell #glados #portal #portal 2 #tw fatphobia #whitewashing #fandom racism #long post

3K notes · View notes

shititbe · 3 years

Text

Anyway, HSM2 is about internalized homophobia, and no one can tell me otherwise.

High School Musical is one of the most beloved franchises in the world. Teenagers all over the world grew up watching Troy and Gabriella harmonize together. Three movies, and nearly a decade later it’s still beloved by all. The first film easily forgotten in the ashes of the early 2000’s, the third film stuck in a purgatorial limbo of the rather unfortunate late 2000’s. The second film on the other hand sticks out between the ruckus.

The second High School Musical film takes place at Sharpay and Ryan’s family country club, during the summer between junior and senior year. The Wildcats are working summer jobs on the country club, often forced to the beck and call of Ryan and Sharpay themselves. Sharpay uses all her prestige to help Troy with college instead of starting at the bottom ( or rather, in the kitchen washing dishes) with his friends. In the time she’s helping Troy, she is also pushing her brother away; replacing him with Troy in their musical number for the talent show, and refusing to hang out with him in preference for Troy. Ryan becomes vengeful to his twin and starts hanging around the Wildcats in the kitchen. At first, he was met with some distasteful looks and words (most of which from Chad). With the help of Kelsey, and her neutral party, Ryan fits in smoothly with the other teenagers, eventually giving the WildCats all dance lessons.

Throughout the movie, the main conflict continues to be the internal conflict of Troy Bolton. He debates over and over again if he should go through with Sharpay’s shenanigans, or if he wants to “listen to my own heart.” This of course involves Gabriella, as she is Troy’s love interest. She’s not in the second film except for the beginning, then, where she leaves in the middle of the film - in order to create angst for Troy - then when she shows up again in the finally to sing/rejoin Troy.

The conflict in the second film is the combining of Troy’s two worlds. His first - his main world in the first movie, that hence became his secondary world - which is represented by Chad. Then his secondary world - which becomes his main world in this movie - which is represented by Ryan. Chad represents Troy’s masculinity, or his more idealized version of himself. Ryan represents Troy’s femininity or his current version of reality. These two worlds collide in the iconic song “I don’t dance”.

Since this movie - and hence this scene - came out in the early 2000’s, a lot of the innuendoes went over people's heads. Luckily, as the children who watched this movie grew older and more experienced, and the world became more accepting, we’re able to see this song for what it is.

Before getting into the lore and symbolism of the iconic “I Don’t Dance” sequence, context is needed. For most of human history, homosexuality was seen as a sin in all places except ancient times (see: Greece and Japan). The modern age is the most accepting on all fronts, such as sexual orientation, race, and religion. In the early 2000’s, High School Musical director Kenny Ortega was not publicialy out yet. He wouldn’t be till 2014.

Originally, while writing this, my first thought was that Kenny - the director - would be using Troy as a y/n type character to project his insecurities and struggles with masculinity, and what that means in defining his orientation and societal views that would be placed upon him. Then, it came to me later that this is in fact not the case, Troy (and Gabriella - who is in fact a y/n character for the female audience) is more of a character for a man of his time, confused with his own ideals of masculinity and the views of society because, “oh god, I can’t like theater/drama because only queer people and girls like it!” The second point is pushed further with the Troy and Sharpay sub-plot. Sharpay tries to further Troy’s career as a basketball player, though that’s not what he wants anymore, and Troy is no longer sure if that is what he ever wanted to begin with (enter the song “Bet on it” and the hilarious meme “no dad, I’m giving up on your dream”).

Keeping these things in mind - Kenney’s queerness, and Troy’s struggle to realize you can in fact sing and be a heterosexual, wow, revolutionary - it became clear to me that Kenney’s y/n characters were Ryan and Chad.

For those who aren’t into the arts, or find them too difficult after a singular attempt thinking they could write a world class novel on the first go, let me be the first to tell you every author has a y/n character. First, for those who don’t know what y/n stands for, it’s a popular fanfiction trope where a writer will write a story about a character dating, being friends, and so on, with the reader. The y/n stands for “your name” so anyone can be the main character in this story at any time. For a writer of mainstream fictional work, such as High School Musical, Game Of Thrones, Lord Of The Rings, Pride and Prejudice, Harry Potter, Hunger Games, even most comics. Now, most writers or directors aren’t going to be as obvious as having a character not named (or named y/n) or even named Jane (looking at you Jane Austin), the y/n character of many mainstream authors/directors/comic artists and so on is usually the character they feel or have given the most attributes similar to themselves.

It’s the same reason people have favourite characters. You see a fictional character and you either 1. Want to Bob the Builder them, 2. Some sort of weird sex thing, or 3. See more/the most of yourself in this character. Number three - thankfully - is usually the main reason. Some people just create their own favourite characters. An even easier way to think about this, is just projection baby, that’s psych 101.

Before I went off on a small tangent of fictional works and how human emotion plays into creating them (except anything Disney has made in the past decade, and no you can’t change my mind on that) I mentioned that Chad and Ryan are Kenney’s y/n characters. As a queer person myself, it’s clear for me to see the different struggles each of these characters face and how these reflect the queer experience.

So, let’s finally get into it.

Ryan, without it being explicitly said is clearly a character of what people in the early 2000s think a gay man is. He is effeminate, wearing bright coloured outfits with lots of accessories - namely his signature hats - he is also in the theater department doing musicals, and passive/subservient to any of his twin sisters' wills. Yes, now we know gay men aren’t just feminized men, but in the early 2000’s a gay man who can do "masculine" things like change their car oil, like sports, and so on, break the "effeminate" stereotype thus confused many cishet people. Sharpay is painted as more confident - or, for sake of comparability - masculine to her twin in the first movie, and most of the second movie. Making Ryan a bit of her dog who would do anything to get by - painting Ryan as lesser than human, once more, playing into the homophobia of the early 2000's.

Despite the clear stereotypes playing into his character, Ryan is consistently one of the most confident characters in the movie. The other, being his sister of course. This confidence in himself is what gravitates the other characters towards him, either by being intimidated (Troy, thinking Ryan and Gabriella were a thing), or admiration (Chad, by the end of “I don’t dance”).

Chad, on the other hand, is a whole different ball game. While he is confident in the first movie, and the first portion of the second movie, he begins to break more and more when Ryan becomes a more integral part of the Wildcat group. To keep in mind, Chad is also the most vocal about his distaste for Troy’s artistic past-time. When the other Wildcats join Ryan and begin learning how to dance for the talent show at the end of the movie, Chad is also the most vocal about his distaste. The baseball game where “I don’t dance” takes place, is the climax of Chad’s arc and his turn towards acceptance to Ryan/Troy’s hobbies.

Of course, there is more to the “I don’t dance” sequence than just Chad’s realization - the exact one Troy comes to terms with in the second movie as well - of “oh my god I don’t have to be gay to enjoy stereotypical ‘feminine’ things.” That is the main part of the song though, that and all the sexual tension.

Going back to what I’ve stated previously, Chad and Ryan are Kenney’s projection or y/n characters. Let me do a small recap before we get into the nitty gritty of the famous “I don’t dance” video.

Thinking back to the first few paragraphs, I stated that Kenney wasn’t publicly out till 2014, about 7 years after the second movie came out. This could be due to the fact that a) it’s the early 2000’s and everyones still very homophobic, or b) self-doubt that comes with the queer experience. The most likely reason is a mixture of both of these. Because of this, Ryan is the more self-assured version, or idealized version of Kenney that he wants to be. Ryan is confident, never being swayed about his lifestyle (could be read as: sexuality) even though Chad - and most of the wildcats in the first movie - put him through relentless “teasing” and humiliation. He’s confident, almost to a fault, he’s sure of himself, and yet still reaches out a hand to Chad and the other wildcats to show them that they’re just being, kinda dick-ish.

Every queer person wants to be Ryan. Despite his heavily stereotyped characterization, I personally believe he is one of the stronger written characters in the movies, mainly due to Kenney putting the time in to really make Ryan feel like a real person, to give himself some sort of relief of his own anxieties, a chance to see the world through a person who truly has no fear. Unlike Kenney himself.

This is where Chad comes in.

Chad is seen as “confident” in the first movie, the second Troy “leaves” basketball though, all that confidence comes crashing down. His best friend has another hobby - one he thinks is “not right” (it’s okay, you can say gay), - they wont be spending all their time together (first, can you say dependent relationship much, yikes).Chad’s defining characteristic up until their fight that instigate act three of the second movie, is being Troy’s best friend. I’m going to take this as if this were truly the case, and not a decently written character arch. Some people base themselves around their friends and their whole identity on being a friend, that they lose sight of themselves, this mainly in high school of course, when your whole world is really nothing but school, and friends. Newly developed independence is there, but that’s scary, so instead of worrying about the future, cling to something that’s reliable. I’ve seen this happen, mainly at the end of high school, when the “real world” is coming a bit too close for comfort. This could generally be the case if a person is lonely, but for timeline sake I’m going to say Chad has got some anxiety about graduating (considering the second movie takes place the summer of junior year).

His lashing out at Troy’s hobbies and at Troy’s neglectful friendship, make more sense with that background, and are seen more in the second movie where Troy begins spending all his spare time with Sharpay (trying to collect that BAG!). Chad - and others (read: father) - insists that music is not a feasible career option, and Troy should just stick with basketball (like...that is a feasible career option). The tension Chad creates in the studio only grows when the other wildcats decide to take up Ryan’s offer for dance lessons and move from the kitchen, to helping out with the talent show. (Next essay idea: how high school musical two was really about class all along, cause Jesus).

Chad is the less obvious option for a y/n character. Though again, the 2000’s were not as cool people like to pretend they are. Chad - for Kenney - represents what he actually feels, this fear of being rejected for how he is and how he chooses to live his life/lifestyle, so he sticks to something reliable. Ryan is new, and exciting, and confident in a way that Kenney/Chad wish they could be, but in order for that to happen they need to understand that maybe people are complex creatures, and can enjoy multiple hobbies (aka: the same lesson Troy is teaching the viewers, but far less boring). But, for Kenney/Chad facing that thought and that realization is scary, and thus, they lash out at anyone (read this paragraph as: Chad mad jealous of Ryan cause Ryan bomb as fuck).

All this build up, finally comes ahead in the employee baseball match

******

The baseball game is probably the most memorable scene in the whole High School Musical franchise (minus Sharpay’s “Fabulous” solo, but that’s also from the same movie, and it’s kinda rude to give what’s already the best more points); the tension in the scene, and what it implies makes it the best written segment of all three movies, let alone the most entertaining.

Some things to keep in mind from our background information: Chad is missing his bestie and struggling with what being “masculine” really means for him and others. Ryan of course makes this confusing, because the traditional method is being thrown out the window. In short, Chad has internalized homophobia, and Ryan being open - or as open as Disney would let him - is causing all sorts of problems.

Despite the song, “I don’t dance” being logged into our collective skulls for all eternity (you’re probably humming it right now, sorry about that), the very brief interaction of Ryan and Chad before the game is lost on the public consciousness. The two are clearly comfortable with each other, though the distaste seems to be on Chad’s side more than Ryans. So, the two start playfully jabbing at each other before deciding to do a bat toss to see who will be in the outfield first.

Before they begin the bat toss, Ryan says “You don’t think dancing takes some game?” Chad then very clearly checks him out, doing a simple but effective ‘drag-your-eyes-over-them-top-to-bottom-then-smile’ and says “you got game?” (Seen in gif below)

I don’t know how much you know about sex metaphors and how many of those baseball has in it (seriously though, it’s a lot), but with the bat toss, Ryan’s hand ended up on top, and Chad’s under Ryan’s. Let’s ignore this for now, it’ll be implied again later. Ryan’s team starts out in the outfield because he won the bat toss, and hence, the song officially starts.

The first lyrics (ignoring the chores of “hey batter batter, hey batter batter, swing”) is

I'll show you that it's one and the same

Baseball, dancing, same game

It's easy

Step up to the place, start swingin

This part is sung by Ryan, who is taunting Chad out in the outfield. Before the game, as stated, Chad was taunting Ryan about his lack of “game” (both sexual and not sexual metaphor are implied), and now, Ryan has turned those tables around. Baseball - is seen as more masculine than dancing, not as masculine as football or basketball, but it’s up there. Chad is someone who cares about his masculinity, enough to the point that Ryan playing baseball makes him loose his mind. Makes him question his own personal definition of masculinity, if you will.

Ryan says, “baseball, dancing, same game,” impyling that, to him, baseball and dancing are one and the same. That is baffling to Chad, cause well, how can something meant for girls even be close to something meant for boys.

Chad comes back with:

I wanna play ball now, and that's all

This is what I do

It ain't no dance that you can show me, yeah

This only proves my previous point.

I had a conversation with myself about this, and I’ve decided not to include it in this essay, but a second essay may or may not be possible. Basically the premise - the dancing/”musical” moments of High School Musical are conjured up images by those meant to see them (ie: like a visual hallucination, but, not really) but this scene kinda poo-poos that idea.

Now, the thing I am talking about is Ryan and Chad’s peacocking at each other during the time they sing these lyrics. The movements they’re making could be mistaken for dancing - as we automatically assume it is because of the title and themes of the movie - or it could be them just getting ready for the baseball game. Ryan swings his leg over the pitcher's mound, tossing the ball up and down into his glove, making wavy hand gestures, etc. Chad brushes off his gloves, swings his legs, hits the bat on each foot, and so on.

For the peacocking, Chad makes a mock of the ballerina foot stance before strutting over to the home plate. Ryan laughs at this, which earns quite the smirk from Chad himself (see gif below).

This is when it becomes a conversation.

You'll never know - R

Oh I know - Ch

If you never try - R

There's just one little thing - Ch

That stops me every time, yeah - Ch

Come on - Ch

When Chad says “Come on” it’s when Ryan throws the baseball at him, starting the game, and giving Chad’s team their first strike of the game (get it, it’s funny). Now, obviously we need to talk about the “there’s just one little thing that stops me every time.” As a queer person, I assure you, two of the things that kept me from living my Best Life were 1) my own ignorance of what asexuality was and 2) the fear that everyone I love would hate me for who I am, and what I have no control over.

Sorry to get deep like that on main, but, can any other queer person say different? Obviously, your first point may differ, but my point still stands. In the video/scene there is a very short moment (to which I have condensed into a gif for you all, you’re welcome, and I’m sorry about the quality in advance), of the camera moving over to Chad’s team (or his friends in this case since it’s an employee baseball game) as he says this line (gif below).

I will not be explaining the use of subtly in this essay, but I’m sure you get the metaphor Kenney is trying to use. If not, let me spell it out for you in very simple words. This song has a lot of sexual innuendos (as mentioned pervious with the baseball bat scene and still, more to come), with that in mind, and clearly queer themes at play (as mentioned before, again), this scene only shows Chad isn’t as straight as he leads on. His fear/phobia of Ryan/the arts come from a much deeper place.

In shorter, and much simpler terms: Chad queer.

But, let’s get back to the boy's conversation.

I don't dance - Ch

I know you can - R

Not a chance, no - Ch

If I could do this, well, you could do that - R

Translation: “If I can do this weird, sweaty, dirty, Male thing without blowing a fuse, you can and should be able to dance just fine.”

But I don't dance - Ch

Hit it out of the park - Both

I don't dance - Ch

I say you can - R

There's not a chance, oh - Ch

Slide home, you score, swingin on the dance floor - Both

I don't dance, no - Ch (This is just the chores, you’ll see it multiple times throughout the essay, I just figured if the song is going to be in your head, go all the way right).

Two-steppin, now you're up to bat - R

Bases loaded, do your dance - R

Here we are with the baseball metaphors you’ve all been waiting for ladies and gentlemen. Girls, gays, and non-binary pals. For those who have somehow managed a sheltered existence with access to the internet, lemme help you. Ryan is talking about “loaded bases” both in the context of the game (where it shows each base has one person from Chad’s team on them) and in the term of sex. While you go out there dating - while it’s mostly douche bags and people using it ironically - your nosey friends may ask you how far you got.

“First, second, or third base?” They may ask. Or something like, “oh wow, did you get to home plate/base?” These are simply the rankings of the stages of a sexual relationship. First - kissing, sometimes just handholding, Second - making out, some light groping, Third - full on groping, no clothes come off, but it gets close. While each person has different boundaries, these are the general accepted definitions for the bases.

Home base is obviously full blown sexual intercourse. Since Chad has his “bases loaded” it means he’s done all these things before, just never gone completely to sexual intercourse with someone - in the terms of the song and the history we’ve already established, it’s most likely a male character. This is only proven by Chad’s uncomfortable nature towards Ryan (internalized Homophobia, thank you, returning theme) but his easy, and cocky personality towards everyone else. “bUt thAt DoEsnT pRovE” hush, that’s the final cherry on top. Remember this conversation.

It's easy - R

Again. Previous points have been made.

Take your best shot, just hit it - Ch

I've got what it takes, playin my game - Ch

So you better spin that pitch - Ch

You're gonna throw me, yeah - Ch

I'll show you how I swing - Ch

Ah, the famous “I’ll show you how i swing” a very strong baseball metaphor for everyone. Keeps queer people from defining themselves to dangerous (straight) people, and, well, that’s it actually. This term is mostly used by bi/pan people, though if you want to stay in the closet or are in a dangerous place, it is also used to subtly tell other queer people you are in fact, not straight. My favourite is when this term came into play when President Buchanan got elected in 1856 (for those that don’t know, he’s the first and only gay president).

You'll never know - R

Oh I know - Ch

If you never try - R

There's just one little thing - Ch

That stops me every time, yeah - Ch

This is again, the same lyric as before it doesn’t pan, and the tone is much different. The camera stays on Chad as he says this line, meaning he’s reflecting, he is now his own problem, the person that is keeping him back. His friends are not on his mind anymore, which is good, Ryan’s Gay Propaganda has been working.

Come on - Ch

I don't dance - Ch

I know you can - R

Not a chance, no, no - Ch

If I could do this, well, you could do that - R

But I don't dance - Ch

Hit it out of the park - R

I don't dance - Ch

I say you can - R

There's not a chance, oh no - Ch

Slide home, you score, swingin on the dance floor - Both

I don't dance, no - Ch

Lean back, tuck it in, take a chance - R

Swing it out, spin around, do the dance - R

I wanna play ball, not dance hall - Ch

I'm makin a triple, not a curtain cal - Chl

I can prove it to you til you know it's true - R

'Cause I can swing it, I can bring it to the diamond too - R

You're talkin a lot, show me what you got - Ch

Again, like the beginning of this song, this is a heavy base for flirting and sexual tension, which this song is drowning in.

Stop swinging - both

Hey - both

This is the part where they all start a flash mob in the middle of the baseball diamond. Again, alluding to the conversation I had to myself earlier, this only proves my own theory as no one takes notice of this. But, that’s not this essay, this is where I mention how close Chad and Ryan are at the end of the group dance.

Come on, swing it like this - both

Oh, swing - both

Jitterbug, just like that - both

That's what I mean, that's how you swing - both

You make a good pitch but I don't believe - both

Here is yet another (and the final) sexual innuendo. This is actually a rather quick one. Pitching in queer culture is considered the person who tops (because queer people even had to straight-ify their sex lives to “top” and “bottom”), this is the person who is giving, if you know what I’m saying.

I say you can - R

I know I can't - Ch

I don't dance - Ch

You can do it - R

I don't dance, no - Ch

Here is where that mosh pit ends, and how they get a little too close to comfort.

Nothing to it, atta boy, atta boy, yeah - both

The rest of this song is simply a mash-up of the baseball game being finished, and this lovely gem.

Now, clearly, Chad’s self conscious nature towards his sexuality is gone, he’s sitting close - if not squishing - Ryan, and talking to him like they’ve been friends forever. Take note of the change of close, most likely due to all the tension at the end of the song, and maybe a little of Chad’s own natural human curiosity built in. Now, I leave you with this note:

If there is anything that confirms all this more, its Chad’s girlfriend wearing the pride colours.

Also note: this could also be seen as a friend helping his bro discover his sexuality and fighting internalized homophobia, but, that’s ignoring the sexual tension, so go off I guess.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

Watch the full thing here

#high school musical 2 #ryan and chad #do they have a ship name?#troy bolton #high school musical #the original not the remake or whatever the kids have now #ryan evans #chad danforth #Sharpay evans #troy x gabriella #ryan/chad #that baseball scene #yall know what i'm talking about #i don't dance #the gayest scene ever #and gayest song #Anyways: the series #should I write that second essay?#thanks for coming to my ted talk

241 notes · View notes

yjwhatif · 3 years

Text

With the semi/cryptic confirmation of Ed and Barts relationship in the series I have a question:

Do you think everyone knows about them (in world) or do you think they’re keeping it secret from some?

It’s just a thought that’s been in my head recently. It is most likely fuelled by the whole drama of G&B not being able to depict a “specific character” (it’s definitely Bart) as gay. They’ve had to hide the relationship from their audience - because of ridiculous reasons - but there are still moments that bring up the question - Are they? Before the reveals from AskGreg, I kinda thought- well they are clearly not together yet, but perhaps they both have feelings for one another and are just waiting for the other to make the next move because they’re nervous idiots who don’t want to have read the situation wrong — all while their friends are like - seriously guys? just get together already. Kinda like they did in s1 with Wally and Artemis - and I guess early Supermartian as well - which I would have been okay with... though with the likelihood of there being at least another two year time skip you’d probably have missed the getting together moment - which would kinda suck. Anyway. With the information about the chances being they were supposed to clearly be in a relationship throughout S3 — which makes the whole structuring of ILLUSIONS just make sense — it’s got me viewing their moments with a whole new energy. Also, I saw this post by Greg —

And let me just clarify, I have no idea if this is actually referencing the Ed and Bart stuff, it might not be (probably isn't). This is purely me speculating.

My reading of this is they got told they couldn’t depict Bart as gay pretty late on and that specifically affected ILLUSIONS where they likely intended to confirm the relationship with that first shot - the kiss on the cheek moment. Even now that moment is just odd - because it’s there but it’s not - because technically there is no actual kiss… which I think is absolutely the point. It plants the seed without actually breaking any rules - all by keeping the momentum but removing the specific kiss frame. It’s the only moment that I feel is explicit in saying they are in a relationship - everything else you can just read into and imply there’s something - but they technically don’t confirm anything.

The whole thing is actually quite interesting - despite the reasoning for it being totally ridiculous. By keeping/showing what they did... People notice it. People talk about it. People reflect on it. More people talk about it. People writing. Make. Create. Discuss it. An entire audience is formed who want and support it. It’s a whole thing now because people noticed it and generated a positive response to it - and that was before all the AskGreg information. The whole reason YJ got a season 3 is because the fans fought to get it back. Enough people talked about it - and kept talking about it - to convince TPTB that the show should come back. Greg and Brandon know this. They know the power the fans have and maybe they hoped that power would help them again in freeing Bart from these ridiculous restrictions. #letbartoutofthecloset

Obviously, we can't know until S4 is released whether G&B got the permission to confirm Bart's sexuality the way they envisioned - but maybe the responses that came during the release of 3b were enough to convince TPTB that they were fighting a losing battle. But who knows, people in power can be very stubborn at times, so we will just have to see what we get. Fingers crossed they eased up though - and not just because of the Ed/Bart relationship (which I am obviously a fan of -- it's fine if not everyone is) - but because these restrictions on LGBTQ+ content shouldn't be a thing and need to stop -- there is just no validity in them.

Anyhow. despite their not being allowed to officially confirm the relationship, Greg's comment about Ed's having a boyfriend they can't name basically confirms the fact without technically breaking any rules again. Masterfully done Wiesman. With this, it implies the pair are in fact dating during S3 which brings us back to the original question... but who knows??

With the comments of Virgil during ILLUSIONS, it's easy to assume their friends do in fact know. They also seem to have no problem being close and interacting with one another whilst in the presence of others -- that is, except for one moment...

Ever since the first time I saw this episode (ELDER WISDOM) I have always found this moment strange - because Ed seems to get kinda awkward when Barry comes to check on Bart. (Or that's how I see it at least.) He realises Flash is standing there and immediately pulls his head down averting his gaze -- almost like he doesn't want to be seen by the elder. But why? Does Barry not know about the pair -- or maybe he doesn't know about Bart and Ed thinks their current closeness is too revealing -- who's to say Bart's even fully out to the world yet -- who's to say either of them are? We certainly don't since we weren't allowed to be shown. We can't know until we know - so until then we can play the speculation game while we wait.

Bart is certainly a bit of a secret keeper when it comes to being himself. I'm still convinced the Bart we see onscreen is merely his interpretation of what he thinks people expect from a speedster in this time. We saw 'real' Bart, he was snarky and cynical and nothing like the Bart we've had for the past two seasons. He said it himself - he's playing a character - and I don't think he knows how to break out of it - not while the possibility exists that it might hurt those he's grown to care about. Bart wants to be seen a certain way to avoid acknowledging the truth of the past - if people see him as happy and smiley, then no one will question him on things he doesn't want to talk about. The problem with that is you can't hide yourself forever - cracks begin to form and eventually, the truth comes out whether you want it to or not. So who knows how comfortable Bart is revealing any of his true self to those he cares about. Maybe his relationship with Ed will be the thing that finally helps him find comfort in being himself, whilst also trusting others to still accept him as himself... and maybe getting him that bit of therapy he really needs.

This brings us to Eduardo… First, can I just say it made me so happy to see Greg’s confirmation of Ed being gay - though it is slightly annoying that he was robbed of his explicit onscreen reveal in S3 thanks to the drama with Bart. His whole relationship to his powers in S2 to S3 fits the representation of coming to terms with your sexuality/identity from a very negative point of view. Feeling like it’s something that needs fixing or needs to be “cured” - to then finding the light and freedom in accepting yourself for you. His growth between seasons is brilliant. He understands the hate and insecurity the teens are feeling because he felt it himself. He does all he can to help them because he never felt he got that help when he needed it - and no one deserves to feel worse for being who they are. Obviously, the things he talks about are framed in the context of dealing with/accepting the meta-gene - yet there are certain moments where it seems he’s saying more than that…

All of which got me wondering - why did Ed originally runaway? It certainly wasn’t because of the meta-abilities he did not yet have. All he’s ever said on the subject was he thought he wanted to be with his father - the man it seems he barely had a relationship with. No, I think Ed has been running from himself for a long time and his dad just happened to be an actual direction for him to aim for. The way he speaks about his wanting to be “cured” and “praying to get rid of his powers” suggests an upbringing around religion and traditional ideas of there being a ‘normal/proper’ way to be — while anything that doesn’t fit that way is treated as other or something that needs to be changed or 'fixed'. Maybe he ran to avoid being found out and run the risk of being ostracised by those he loved. Or maybe he was found out and leaving wasn’t entirely his choice*. If this was the case, I can certainly imagine him not wanting to come out to his dad for fear of his reaction and completely losing all chance of that father-son relationship they’re both trying so hard to keep. It can seem easier to live in secret than risk the reality of loss. So while the meta-gene likely wasn’t the main thing he was angry about in S2, it was able to become a physical thing he could blame and focus his anger on - without having to think about where his issues truly lied… Though with a bit of time it also became the thing he was comfortable conveying his feelings through...

“I’ve learned to accept, even love my meta-abilities”

I love this line so much and it’s all because of the delivery by Freddy Rodrigues. There is the slightest hint of a pause before he says “meta-abilities”, which gives the impression he was about to say something else before then remembering himself and who he was talking to. Then there’s the small inflecion he put on “love”, which makes it sound like it’s the first time he’s heard himself say the words out loud. I don’t hear him talking about the gene - I hear him talking about finally accepting himself - all of himself - for the first time in maybe ever and finally feeling happy because of it. I hear growth... From being the angry 14-year-old skater who just wanted to run away and escape any way he could. To the 16-year-old councillor/Outsider jumping straight into the danger to protect and inspire those who need it. Both he and Bart are such strong characters with so much more to be seen - especially when it comes to the insecurities which lie behind their masks. They both compliment each other pretty perfectly - both powers-wise and personality-wise - meaning while they try to hide themself from others, I don't think it'll take long for them to realise they can't hide from each other.

Anywho, that’s all the speculatary nonsense I’ve got for today. This turned into such a patchwork of vaguely linkable thoughts I’ve had which barely relate to the one I started with - but that is usually how it goes. Take it as you will…

Also, completely unrelated to YJ, but Bi Tim Drake now exists in dc canon which is really cool - seeing all of the joy it’s sparked has really given me something to smile about this week… There is hope after all. 🌈

— LB ⚡️☀️

* OK so here’s a little random snapshot into the chaos of my mind— as I was writing the Ed stuff I had a scene pop into my head of Ed finally -for whatever reason- having to tell his dad that he didn’t leave his abuelo’s home - he got kicked out. His dads confused about this and asks Why? What did you do? And Ed’s like Nothing… I didn’t do anything wrong… he just… found out something. So Seniors like Found out what Eduardo? And Ed’s getting really nervous now because he doesn’t want to say it - That I, um… I’m… Senior step a fraction closer as he picks up on Ed’s anxiety but remains an appropriate distance - Son? Then after a tensening silence he finally says it - sounding the most vulnerable he has ever been - I’m gay… The silence is there again, heavy and unnerving, neither saying a word. Ed can’t move as he’s lock in his elders unreadable glare. Expecting the worse his head drops to take in the floor - anything that isn’t the disappointment ahead - he feels the urge to disappear burning up inside him - consuming him. Then just as he’s about to escape he’s suddenly grounded by a steadying hand rooting itself on his shoulder. Tentatively he lifts his gaze to witness his father, there, with nothing but love and support in his eyes - Mijo. The clamping in his chest dissipates as all the tension escapes at once, along with the breath he hadn’t realised he was holding. Ed embraces his dad and the elder embraces his son. Together. A family.

Anyway. That’s probably a load of rubbish but hey my minds full of it… but basically I really want to see a tender moment between Ed and his dad. For whatever reason. Something where Ed’s in a vulnerable state and in need of some emotional support from his father - and without hesitation his father steps up - because that’s what we haven’t seen from them yet. It would perfectly portray the strength of their relationship as father and son - despite their previous struggles - and prove that Senior is willing to support his son no matter the situation as the father - not just the scientist. Its the final step in their healing journey and I wanna see it so bad!!

201 notes · View notes

gb-patch · 3 years

Text

Ask Answers: July 10th

I really let asks get away from me lately. I was super focused on working on that Patreon Moment. With that done I can finally think about doing other things, so here’s a new collection of answers!

Thank you for sending in questions everyone ^^.

For the new Patreon moment, will you be able to reference it in step 4? Or just like a tiny nod to it if you pick certain choices?

There won’t be. I’m sorry if you were hoping for that! The Patreon moment is meant to be entirely optional, it’s not something that gets you extra content in the main game.

Is the new CG artist the main one now? :0 I’ve noticed theres been a difference in the art style recently. Is the old CG artist still going to make art for the game? :0

The original artist still makes CGs for the game sometimes, but he mainly focuses on character sprites.

Are you going to put the NSFW our life moment on a website other than patreon? I would love to get it but I can't use patreon atm.

I don’t know. I'm afraid we can't release the Patreon Moment on a normal game storefront because we can't mix 18+ content with our family friendly game. If there's some other place similar to Patreon where it's not the normal type of full-scale public content releases we'd consider using that, but I’m not sure if there is another site that’s better than Patreon in that regard. I'm sorry.

Out of curiosity, in all of your games so far, which characters in each were the most fun to write? They obviously don't have to be your favorite characters!

Buffalo Seer in AFA, really everyone in XOD/XOBD is pretty equally entertaining to write, The Guide in LoV, and Cove in OL!

idk if you accept "personal" questions, but is there anything you've been watching/ listening to lately

Mostly, I’ve been watching/listening to Authortube videos as of late! It’s people who talk generally about the process of how books become traditionally published and/or share their own experience as they attempt to be published. I don’t have an interest in writing normal text based books, but it’s really interesting to hear about that world. I’m listening to a video about royalties right now as I answer these asks.

Will one of the desserts we get to pick be fudge? That'd be such a cute reference!

Haha, yeah, it should. Unless I completely blank on it and forget when trying to include the various referential food options.

I don't know if this has been asked previously but what would be the approximate heights for the presets MC can choose from Step 2 ~ 4? Are there any measurement you had in mind? Sorry if I didn't make myself clear kk I've been struggling with my English lately 💀

I don’t know, ahah. I didn’t have any numbers in mind for that. So it’s whatever you imagine it is!

I noticed a bug with the Patreon moment when it comes to what your character wears. When Jamie and Cove are kissing while my character only had dresses selected, I had both the option to remove the dress or to remove the shirt... Picking one of the options to interact with Cove, after he removed his shirt, it had Jamie remove their shirt followed by ther pants despite only having dresses picked.

Thank you for reporting ^^

I keep refreshing steam to see when the new doc for xobd will be released. I noticed you haven't posted anything about it in quite some time. Would it be possible to ask about a timeline/potential date? (If it's even this year—) I know you and your team are probably working super hard, I'm just super curious! ~Thank you!~

There are more stories done, I just haven’t gotten around to publicly releasing them. Hopefully I will have a chance to spend the time on that sooner rather than later!

hello!! i’m not sure if it’s an update but i’ve just replayed our life and at the end i can’t propose to cove anymore? :(( i’ve actually tried playing twice but the options are not there anymore, did you guys remove the options? i’m sorry if you’ve answered this before!! thank you and have a good one :)

I’m afraid things haven’t been changed or removed, so I think you might’ve accidentally picked the wrong things somewhere along the way and locked yourself out of being able to propose by mistake. Sometimes you meant to say you want to get married but instead you mis-click and have it so the MC isn’t thinking about marriage or something. All I can suggest is starting from the beginning of Step 3 and making sure to follow the steps listed in the FAQ. I’m sorry for that.

Did yall remove some of the options for when youre making out with Cove in the charity moment? I could've sworn you could grab his bonkadonk and its not there anymore

This is the same situation as the above. We didn’t remove things and you’re not wrong that there are sometimes those options. But there are various choices you have to make to get those options and it sounds like you accidentally missed something. If your relationship isn’t long-term, you can’t do it for example.

HI IM SO EXCITED I CAN FINALLY GET THE STEP 3 DLC

Thank you for getting it!

Is Shiloh super totally straight bc I’m very gay and a huge Shiloh fan, would my man make an exception?😩

Sadly, he is one of our super straight characters. I’m sorry.

Hi, I have a very dumb question. In Step 2 does Cove not wanna share his drink with us at the mall (or rather why he stops drinking it) because it's an indirect kiss? Or is it like ...weird to him to share? Because if I remember right he eats off our spoon in the birthday scene right?

Yeah, he’s awkward about it because he likes the MC and it feels very personal to share a straw with his crush.

Hi! If you don't mind me asking, who is the artist for OL2? Their style is so pretty!

Thank you for saying so! This is her Twitter- https://twitter.com/redridingheart

Do Beginnings & Always and Now & Forever exist in the same universe?

Yep! XOXO Droplets also exists in the same universe. It’s one big GB Patch world, haha.

Do Pran's parents regret the way they raised him? Do they feel ashamed of it?

No. They’re the type of people best cut out because they’re not gonna change. Which is why Pran does go very limited contact when he’s an adult.

Hi! I just wrapped up my second playthrough of Our Life, and I absolutely adore it, but I had a question. I went to the gallery and found I was missing 2 CGS (specifically Step 1-3 and 2-3) and I had no clue where they would've shown up. Which moments are those found in?

You get it by telling Cove about his dad offering you money to be his friend in Step 1 and Step 2. You can’t get both in one playthrough, since you can only tell Cove the truth once. I’m really glad you liked it!

Hi hi! Please, how tall is Baxter and Derek? Love the game so much and I can't wait to see more!

I don’t know, aha. I think Baxter was around 5′10 and Derek was like 5′8/5′9, maybe. I really am not one who has specific heights for things in mind.

is adult cove a bottom, top, or switch?

A switch, though would choose the top if he had to pick.

I was wondering if there is a way to transfer save data? Even if through the game files. I wanted to be able to transfer my save data from my desktop over to my laptop so that I could continue playing right where I left off from but I'm not entirely sure how to go about that.

If you save the save folder/persistent data of the game from your desktop and put it into the game folder on your other device, that could work.

Hi! Is it possible for us to know the date when our life: now and forever comes out on steam? Sorry if you've mentioned it before but I haven't seen it and I'm looking foward to that happening and just wanted to know :)

It’s gonna be a long time, I’m afraid. There’s no estimate right now.

I started playing Our Life with my sister a while ago, and I think you guys should know that we discovered your secret. >:)

L from death note and Cove are clearly the same person, and this whole game is just an origin story!!

I’ve never seen that show so I’m sorry to say I don’t understand the connection/reference you’re trying to make. I’m pretty out of the loop when it comes to media. I don’t watch movies or TV.

Will OL2 have options for disabled MCs?

I understand if it's too complicated, just curious

Unfortunately, it’s not really something we have a plan for. We couldn’t finish the game if we tried to include every disability and have it be meaningful. It’d just be too much content to create. But if we decide to only include a few, how would we choose which disabilities get to be represented and which are left out? I don’t know. It’ll probably have to be something we don’t include as an option again, sadly. I’m sorry.

playing our life > anything else

Haha, I’m glad you’re enjoying it.

Honestly, I would like to thank Our Life for helping me come to terms with my sexuality. Before, I never would've actually thought that it was possible to like boys romantically and still be asexual. Almost all of the BL visual novels I've read had unskippable sexual content in them and it honestly just didn't click with what I feel. I'm glad I found Our Life. I love the game, the developers, and this fandom so much. Now, I can safely come out as homoromantic AND asexual (at least anonymously here anyway; my parents are still huge homophobes 😂).

Aw, it’s great to hear you felt comfortable being yourself in the game! That’s wonderful. I’m really sorry about your parents, though.

Will the demo for OL2 be on android? Really not sure if I could wait any longer than I have to aha

Yeah, it’ll be available for Android once we eventually release a demo!

Do all these reveals perhaps mean development is progressing ahead of schedule? Please let that be the case I'm already obsessed with Qiu

No, sorry, aha. Art comes along much faster than script/programming-work for us. It’s gonna be a long time before the game is a finished thing you can actually play. But at least we can look at the beautiful images.

Hey! First of all I wanna say I reallllllyyyyy loooovvveeee Our Life and XOXO Droplets! I have over 300 hours of playtime on Our Life… Anyways, I was just wondering, are the Derek and Baxter DLCs going to come out at the same time? If not, which one do you plan to release first? :3

They will come out separately and Derek will be first! Glad you like the game.

I keep replaying Our Life to get every possible iteration and I am loving it <3 I was wondering if Cove gets locked out of his confession because MC was talking to Lee, would it be possible to confess to him in step 4?

Yeah, you can avoid the confession in Step 3 and then get it in Step 4.

Hi, my Cove wears bracelets through step 2 and 3 but I still don't get an option to give him a bracelet? I didn't even know that was possible until I seen someone else ask about it lol

Hm, did you use the Cove creator? Maybe there’s a bug where using the creator to add bracelets doesn’t fulfill the requirement to give Cove a bracelet in Step 3.

Wait, I'm dense, when does Baxter appear in step 2? Is it from big park firework? I feel so bad since i really love Baxter and waiting to buy his dlc.

It’s in the Soiree Moment. You have to be just friends with Cove, indifferent, or crushing but not ask Cove to the dance at all. Then while there you can find someone new to dance with. But if you bring Cove to the dance while crushing, the MC won’t wanna dance with anyone else so you can’t get the scene.

In step 2 when we go to the soiree I made my mc go alone and baxter chooses the mc to dance, i'm curious, why did he pick the mc? sorry if this has been asked before!

Because the MC looked to be around his age, seemed to also be searching for a partner, and had nice legs. A perfect option for him.

I read some of the FAQs, and I saw that we could tell Baxter about the condo that he rented there was previously the mean old grandparents. how do we get the mc to tell him that?

It happens in the DLC Moment “Late Shift”. If you don’t have a job you instead get a longer scene with Baxter.

I don’t know if you’ve addressed this or not, but are you planning on paying voice actors for our life: now and forever?

Yeah, we pay our VAs in all our projects.

hey can i ask how you did the moments thing in ol? im trying to get into making visual novels and while im VERY sure its out of my comfort zone and all that atm i kinda wanna know just for the future, bc im p sure it would work well for something i wanna do :O but its also fine if you cant say for other reasons :>

I’m afraid I’m not sure what you mean. Are you asking how we programmed the screen or something script related? Adding Moments like that is pretty straightforward, though. You just have buttons that open to different labels and then the scripts are essentially individual short stories/vignettes. Good luck with your VN!

Since Autumn becomes gender fluid later in the game, will there be a character who remains as he/him to romance in game?

OL1 has the he/him LIs, OL2 is all about other genders.

I don't want to impose on your creative plans, but a parrot could possibly make a good pet in an OL-type game? They're pretty long-lived and likely to still be thriving by the end even if the MC got them back in step 1.

I do appreciate the suggestion, but I’m afraid it’s not likely going to happen. I understand there are technically some animals that could theoretically live long enough to last the whole game that or we could have the MC only get a pet after some years have already passed. But the many things that would have to be considered/accommodated for makes it just something we probably can’t manage adding. I’m sorry.

As time passes will we be able to see Qiu and Tamarack's other stage arts as well?

They are both so cute i can't wait to be friends with them!

Yeah, we’ll show content from other Steps in the future. It’ll be a little while from now, though.

Can you date Cove and still have your family comfort you in the car?

You can’t get Cove’s Step 3 confession scene if you have the family comfort you in the car. But that’s not the only way to date him. You can get together with him earlier in the game or later on in Step 4.

Is Mc always going to be the one walking down the aisle or could Cove do it? Also could you choose to have one of your moms walk you?

No. Cove wouldn’t want to walk down the aisle like that and the MC automatically respects that. And the MC also gets to have their preferences respected, so it’s up to you whether they want to do an aisle walk or not. You also can pick who, if anyone, walks with you.

Once step 4 is out, will you be able to go the whole game on crush/love without either of you confessing?

Yes, as long as you tell the game you don’t want to progress the relationship. Even in Step 4 it won’t force you to officially get together.

Howdy, so in Step 4, there will be any Romance with Derek that is not part of any dlc?

He’s only a friend unless you get his romance story.

Will the step 4 in OL2 be one big step or are you considering moments?

Step 4 is just an epilogue in both games.

hi kind of a weird question but!! we know tht cliff doesn't start dating again but. wht abt flings? like does he ever do 1 night stands or anything? thank u!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nope. Cliff has a very small interest in sex. If he’s not in a real relationship with a partner he’s crazy about it simply isn’t something he feels a need for, so one night stands wouldn’t even cross his mind.

sorry if you've already answered this, but i was wondering if there were plans for there to be bonus love interests in OL2 like how we have derek and baxter in OL1.

Maybe! There are side characters who could be given romance stories, but whether or not it will happen depends on funding and how long everything else takes to finish.

I don't know if i'm allowed to ask about ol2 here yet, if not u can ignore this or answer it later. My question is can you date one of them and be good friends with the other? I don't want to be strangers with the other bcs i love them both a lot :<

Yes you can!

what patreon level do i have to be to unlock the nsfw moment? im on the $5 one right now, will that give me access to the moment, or just access to the moment progress?

That’ll give you access! Tier 2 and anything higher allows the player to download it.

#our life #ask #gb patch #gb patch games #all projects #Our Life Beginnings & Always #Our Life: Now & Forever

158 notes · View notes

sunflowerdigs · 2 years

Text

More Queer Roman Nonsense

It's interesting to think about Roman's relationship to his sexuality (here she goes again, lmao) in the context of his relationship with the one canon gay character on Succession, Lawrence Yee. Like, I just don't think it's a coincidence that Roman so cavalierly suggested they gut Vaulter in the same episode where he does the most "normo" heteronormative thing he's done so far and hosts a dinner party with his girlfriend. And I'm not projecting that onto the material - Shiv is surprised when he asks because it's such a conventional adult request. And I just think about that in light of the fact that he actually hugged Lawrence in 1x06, which wasn't something he did with anyone else on his and Kendall's side of the coup.

It's almost like...part of what makes coming to terms with being queer difficult is never really being able to see a clear future for yourself. Maturity and the life cycle in our society is often defined in heteronormative terms (get a gf, get married, have babies, join the PTA and a country club, etc) and so beyond sex and attraction and defining your relationship to gender there's kind of not a roadmap for being queer.

Like, what does the future look like for a Roman Roy who has a boyfriend and not a girlfriend? In the late 90's/early 2000's, when Roman would have been discovering his sexuality, he wouldn't have had an image in his head for anything other than a future with a woman. Queerness was talked about in whispers and there were no gay people on TV or in media (except in tragic movies about AIDS). Transgender wasn't even a term anyone would have recognized except maybe at certain liberal arts colleges in California. And then, in Hollywood, where he worked, there's still such a culture of secrecy around the whole thing because the bigwigs are homophobic af. You can be queer and fuck whoever you want but no one outside of other folks in the industry can know. And, apparently, that's the culture Roman grew up in as well.

And so I think about how Roman begged to be the one to meet with Lawrence because he was so sure they were like "two peas in a metrosexual pod". And how Lawrence is actually out and publicly has a boyfriend, possibly one who is long-term. And how Roman smiled when they were affectionate with each other but how he was also weirdly nervous. And I guess I'm also projecting my own experiences of seeing two women or two men together and the kind of...hope that it gives you (but also that nervousness if you're not completely out). And I'm still thinking about that hug, and wondering how much weight Roman was placing on Lawrence standing up to Logan and helping Kendall to create this completely different future for the company (and maybe for him). And how, when Roman is disappointed in himself or in someone else for showing "weakness", he has a tendency to lash out in order to relieve the pain. Like, he thought Lawrence would be strong and he wasn't and I wonder how much of Logan's homophobia (and racism) that kind of confirmed for Roman (completely unfairly, of course, but that's often how it is). Maybe going into that meeting he finally saw another path for himself but when Kendall lost, it disappeared. And Lawrence was part of what lit up that road for him.

Idk. Just some thoughts.

#roman roy #Succession #my projecting onto Roman because it's a day that ends in y #succ spec #BRING LAWRENCE BACK 2K23

24 notes · View notes

characteroulette · 3 years

Text

well all rightie then, it’s time to analyse how DGS1 handles grief really well in my opinion

(once again, spoilers for all of DGS1)

(also some spoilers for the original trilogy games) (and a little of DGS2)

okay So my thesis statement here is that Asougi’s character in DGS1 is the vessel through which Ryuunosuke and Susato’s grief is explained. Everything about how they relate to Asougi is their dealing with their grief in a simple message: Loss hits hard, but you have to continue to live and love. Life Goes On, shaping that grief into yourself if you allow it.

We start off with Case 1 as our baseline. The set-up. It’s a routine to show what life is like for Ryuunosuke before tragedy. (Fitting for an AA protagonist to have their baseline of normal being accused of murder.) This case does a really, really good job of setting up Asougi as our friend, our partner, whom we might spend the rest of the game with.

(I mean, the death flag’s kinda obvious if you’re genre-savvy; the mentor must die so that the student may grow into their own. But Asougi’s so likeable! He’s confident, genuine with Ryuunosuke, comfortably teasing, and looks at you with the same eyes as Klavier. What’s not to love? Also that small hint of something deeper is so tantalising that for it to go unresolved is pretty unthinkable.)

It’s important for us to see how much Asougi means to Ryuunosuke, how much the two really are best friends. This set-up is pivotal to what happens next in Case 2: the drop.

The way Ryuunosuke reacts to learning about Asougi’s death is real. He tries to deny it at first, can’t bring himself to believe it. Especially since he’s been accused of the crime! But the moment he sees that photo of Asougi that Sherlock took, that’s where the truth of it hits and he can’t run from it anymore. All he can do is try to push past that biting grief to at least solve his friend’s murder and set things right.

Susato’s own grief is portrayed really well here, too. She’s so angered and clouded by it that she totally ignores the fact that Asougi and Ryuunosuke are best friends and believes Ryuunosuke to be the murderer. Really, she just blames Ryuunosuke because it’s easier that way, since the wound cuts just as deep for her.

What really strikes me, though, is how the whole case isn’t just a one-note misery. Like real life, the two slip into sadness when they remember their dear friend, but they’re still able to joke around. They still get upset or sarcastic or excited. Because, though their grief affects them immensely, the message is that life continues. It can’t just stop for them like it did for their friend; life goes on. Not out of malice, but out of necessity.

Also, the way Sherlock acknowledges their grief is pretty great. That felt hugely validating to me, how he tells them that their mourning is important and how his jovial, joking tone was never properly taking that into account. The way he continues breaking in at the end to lighten the mood, too, is his own genuine way of trying to help, exhausting though he may be. It’s appreciated, at the least, to keep us the players from breaking down into tears as the conclusion rolls with no real satisfaction at the mystery being solved.

That final conversation between Susato and Ryuunosuke, at least, is hugely cathartic to make up for that. It sounds like it should feel rushed, honestly, dealing with the majority of the grieving process in just Case 2, but it doesn’t at all. It seems properly healthy, like the two are doing their best by confiding and taking comfort in one another in order to celebrate Asougi’s goals, to keep going where he can’t. Ryuunosuke and Susato both form their resolve here to continue to live, not just for Asougi, but for themselves as well. For life’s sake.

Because, again, life goes on.

(A brief tangent: Seeing the contrast of this story versus the original trilogy is also a really neat sort of view into Shu Takumi’s growth as a writer. Or the AA series’ growth as a whole. How Edgeworth handled his grief by never really acknowledging it in AA1, how he basically ran away from it by refusing to live as a sort of punishment against himself, is really sad. Then Phoenix handling his grief in JFA by turning to anger and resentment is just as heartbreaking. Phoenix disavows himself from it, trying to spare himself the pain by denying it, which only hurt him more and he had to have everyone around him break him out of that awful mindset. Then in T&T it’s Godot’s grief which drives the plot, as he turns his anger on Phoenix unjustly. He blames Phoenix for Mia’s death and lashes out at everyone instead of allowing himself the time to properly grieve.

And then DGS1 comes along to say that maybe the answer is just that life goes on and we have healthier ways to reconcile with our grief and it’s just real neat to see!)

In Case 3 and 4, we can see through Ryuunosuke’s discussion with Lord Vortex (/Stronghart) the continuation of his handling this grief. It’s a burden, one Ryuunosuke doesn’t fully understand, but he fervently takes upon himself because we want to live for those we’ve lost. (It is the Wright way, the Naruhodou way, to take on the aspirations of the friends you’ve lost. To mimic their mannerisms, their ambitions, in order to keep them close to your heart.)

(That’s a whole other can of worms I could dive into, honestly, how their decision to give Ryuunosuke all of Phoenix’s poses for the whole ancestor vibe while ALSO making it clear that Ryuunosuke took them from Asougi to begin with, it’s just. It’s good, it’s perfect, it’s the same brand of gay the series is known for and I’m love it.)

You also see, as the trial of Case 3 progresses, how Ryuunosuke is basically just living off of ‘what would Asougi do?’ as Susato coaches him along and it’s fun and bittersweet all the way through. Case 4 is where he gains more confidence in himself, but he still defaults to thinking of Asougi’s unwavering trust in him to help him and every time it’s handled with tenderness and shows just how much Ryuunosuke loved his friend.

And, if you’re like me and take every opportunity to examine Asougi’s badge and present it to Susato (/others), you see how they continue to grow with their grief. It starts off with both of them being unable to say much, still weighed down heavily by Asougi’s loss. Though they are continuing and life goes on, it’s still a wound too fresh to approach and hard for them to properly explain.

By Case 5, though, the two of them are more conversational. They’ve found their words, they’ve mended that wound as much as possible so that life won’t leave without them. It still hurts, of course, but it’s easier to think about. It’s easier to reconcile when they’ve been working hard and making friends and continuing to live. It’s small, but the progression is there and I really appreciate it.

Speaking of Case 5, though, everything about this one, in regards to Asougi, is pure catharsis. It really is like they’re looking their grief right in the face and accepting it as a part of themselves. Ryuunosuke looks back on his friend not just with fondness, but with gratefulness that Asougi could make such a big impact on his life.

(This is similar to the whole Phoenix and Mia thing, I feel, since Phoenix often thought of his mentor with the same sort of tone. At least, I think so. Remarkable how Phoenix’s grief can mirror the finalised version of Ryuunosuke’s with the help of spirit channeling! /joke)

Ryuunosuke and Susato have etched Asougi into their hearts and their persons and it’s just really, very good I like it a lot.

(okay time for a few paragraphs on DGS2 and Asougi)

Case 1 one DGS2 is a neat look into Susato’s mind and thought process. You can definitely tell she’s still just a 16-year-old with the mistakes she makes and how she tries to handle her own arguments, which is very cute. We also get to see her actually talking to Asougi’s grave and then see how her own relationship with Asougi has influenced her style (/poses) and aspirations. (Ryuunosuke, too. It’s cute to see how she’s ended up a mixture of both of them.) And it’s a great rug pull moment for the player, since the way that the grief is handled in DGS1 is so good and (almost) final that hearing Asougi might not actually be dead is a bit like digging up old wounds. I mean, we went the entirety of the first game coming to terms with his death, what do you mean his body went missing??

(Case 2 serves as a reminder. Like haha remember how Susato and Ryuunosuke both love Asougi and are sad about his death? Here’s the baseline again, get ready to have it wrecked!)

And Case 3 is phenomenal, too. The way Van Zieks is so understanding in his response to showing him Asougi’s badge is just. It’s perfect, he’s so gentle and empathetic that it shocks Ryuunosuke (even though Ryuunosuke did the same understanding and concern for Van Ziek’s situation Ryuunosuke please). Then the way that Ryuunosuke sees Asougi, disguised in a cloak and mask, and immediately recognises him. To me, that really shows how much he loved his friend. He knew Asougi for about a year and it’s been about nine months since Asougi’s death, yet Ryuunosuke recognises him just by the way he carries himself.

But, to him, Asougi is dead. He’s made peace with that. So, even if it plays on his mind, he can’t allow himself to think that. He puts it out of his mind completely and doesn’t think on it again.

At least, until Susato (who reacted very realistically by shutting down the possibility that Asougi might still be alive because that means Sherlock lied and she couldn’t take having that hope break her worse than before) sees the exact same thing just as immediately and shouts after him. The fact that they both see this disguised man and know it can be no one besides Asougi is insane. It’s love. It makes me cry, I wish they could’ve hugged him during the big reveal (though I know Japanese culture’s just not like that).

Anyway, DGS2 diatribe over. Back to the conclusion.

The whole of DGS1 is just a masterful example of how grief doesn’t have to destroy you, of how life can go on and that doesn’t have to be a bad thing, and how channeling that grief into motivation to keep their memories alive can be powerful. That it’s okay to still feel grief even as you heal, that it’s okay to have fun and keep living even as you mourn. Life is a mixture of levity and tragedy and, to me, DGS1 nails that mixture with perfection.

Absolutely legendary. Join me next time when I dive into the main theme of DGS2, which is literally ‘the dead will come back to life to haunt you’ thanks for coming to my essay talk

110 notes · View notes