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redheadspark · 1 year

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I posted 4,486 times in 2022

That's 4,402 more posts than 2021!

675 posts created (15%)

3,811 posts reblogged (85%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@mothdruid

@a-lumos-in-the-nox

@jonathansonlysweetheart

@acespec-ed

@wolvesnkittens

I tagged 1,752 of my posts in 2022

#fanfiction - 361 posts

#writing - 329 posts

#barry keoghan - 304 posts

#druig - 259 posts

#eternals - 248 posts

#marvel - 181 posts

#druig x reader - 173 posts

#joseph quinn - 169 posts

#eddie munson - 157 posts

#my mutuals are better than yours - 144 posts

Longest Tag: 97 characters

#never seen these before and they look similar to one of the first sets i ever posted on this blog

My Top Posts in 2022:

Soothe

Summary: Druig suffers a nasty migraine after overworking his mind controlling ability and saving a cluster of humans from a Deviant attack. Luckily for Druig, he has his Eternal girlfriend to protect him.

WC: 3136 words

Warnings: Slight angst but major fluff!

A/N: I was asked by Anonymous to write a short one shot of Druig getting sick, so I threw this one out hard and fast! I figured Druig would suffer from migraines using his mind controlling ability so much and so intensely. We all need a soft Druig very once in awhile!

Sorry for the editing in advance ;)

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It was safe to say that you knew your boyfriend well. Very well.

You knew he loved to sleep in, waking naturally only to the sunlight. You would watch him fondly as he slept so deeply in your shared bed, not caring that he was sleeping the morning away and through the morning duties that were needed. Ajak would get on his case and ask you to get him out of bed since he would miss important meetings.

You always knew he loved to snack. At any time and in any way, he would be eating or having some kind of food in his hands. There wasn't one snack that he detested, although he was never a fan of anything that was majorly sticky. Still, he was always eating something to either keep his mind occupied or when he was bored. Phastos would tease him about how he would eat all of the snacks that you would share yet you didn't mind. Druig would always share with you, it was no question in his mind.

Lastly, one of the major things that you loved about him, was that he was always surrounding you with love and affection. The others rarely saw the softer side of him, which was sorely just for you to have and possess. His aloofness and cockiness that was seen constantly in the public eye were the opposite when it was just the two of you. Druig was gentle in his gestures with you, holding you like you were made of porcelain or caressing your skin as light as a feather.

Even the kisses he would give you felt beyond soft and sure, always leaving you breathless. You were always amazed and in awe at how he fell in love with you, not batting away from it in front of the other Eternals, but was sincere enough to see that you were no huge fan of PDA yourself. He accommodated for you without hesitance, holding your hand or having an arm around your waist. Druid saved more of the intimacy in bed.

Because you knew him so well, you always knew the small things that would harm Druig.

One of them was his migraines.

His mind-controlling ability was constantly harboring tension and stress on his brain. He had a hard time trying to unwind after he would use his cosmic energy and his abilities to help aid humans from a Deviant attack or redirect humans from disaster. In the very beginning, before you got together, Druig would barely get a headache. It was tolerable, something that would wear off after a few minutes. But as centuries came and went, the headaches were getting harsher and more frequent. After you got together with him, you tried to find ways to help him and keep the intense headaches at bay. Head massages and breathing techniques worked most of the time, especially when you could see how heated he got when he was defenseless in wanting to help and interfere.

That was another component that brought the head pains: his anger at not being able to help.

You two would talk constantly, about how it was not fair that you wouldn't help humans and prevent them from being hurt or killed. Ajak always breathed down Druig's back in stopping him from stepping into a situation, which aggravated him even more. You understood though, you felt that yearning to be the protective Eternal amongst the fragile humans. That stress and underrated anger manifested his headaches into serve migraines. He had a few close calls in the past after a brutal Deviant attack or using his ability too much.

One particular case was just as bad as the others.

You were in the Domo with Sprite, the both of you discussing the feast that was planned that night amongst the citizen in the city. It was a celebration that was planned for weeks, one of the biggest parties of the year to celebrate the harvest and the great defeat of a particularly nasty Deviant. You too were far too engrossed in what story Sprite will tell the humans that you didn't seem to hear the commotion outside the Domo, right near the entrance.

A golden flash of light rushed into the room where you were with Sprite, the both of you stopped and looked to see Makkari in her armor, looking rather concerned at you as she pointed with her finger to the hallway that lead to the ramp out of the Domo.

"Druig's having a migraine!" She signed to the two of you, having you hop up from your bench immediately and look at her with an intense stare, "It's one of his worst ones! I tried to help him, but he only wants you!”

"Where is he?" you asked and signed. Rather than answer you, Makkari snagged your hand in hers and she sped off with you, having you feel the wind past you and whistle in your ear. Within a second, you were outside of the Domo and on the soft ground and grass. Some of the other Eternals were there, standing around a hunched Druig in a semi-circle and looked both concerned and confused as to what to do. You moved away from Makkari, beelining over to Druig who was curled in a ball with his eyes slammed shut and his hands clutching his hair.

You could see the pain on his face, almost like his brain was being hammered over and over in a constant rhythm. He had intense ones before, but you could see how his eyes were screwed shut too tight to block the sun and the whimpers leaving his lips that this was going to be one of his worst episodes. You made a quick scan around at the others, seeing them look over at you now to figure out what to do. Ajak was nowhere to be seen, not being able to help soothe his mind instantly as she has done before. So it was up to you.

Turns out, you knew exactly how to do it.

"Give him air!" You said to the ground in an order, the others instantly moving back a few feet as you walked over calmly and quietly in Druig's space. He was wrapped in his ball, his eyes trying to keep the light away and you could see he was slightly shaking. Carefully, you knelt in front of him on your knees and kept your hands hovering over his body. Not touching him yet since he might not be in the right space for touch, you leaned down a bit to talk in a gentle and soothing tone.

"Honey, it's me," you said to him gently, your voice carrying in the air over him like a shield as he was still keeping his eyes shut, "I know your head is hurting, I can see it and sense it. Let's get you inside and in our room, okay? I'll make it nice, dark, and quiet. But you gotta let me take you, okay my dear? Let me help you,"

You were trying to soothe him and stop him from feeling worse out there in the open and exposed. Druig said nothing, still shut tightly within himself as he tried to breathe harshly through his nose to at least get some tension off his skull. With much hesitance, you placed one hand in his hair and you felt him shiver from the touch, but no recoil. The other hand was on his arm, rubbing his armor soothingly with your knuckles as you looked from him over to Sersi and Ikaris.

"How did it happen?" you asked Sersi, knowing that she knew what you were asking.

"There was a large crowd of humans that were out in the open and were about to be attacked," Sersi explained to you, kneeling next to you but still giving Druig space, "He was trying to get them away in time before they would be injured."

"We would have lost at least 20 humans if it wasn't for him," Kingo hummed in agreement, "He got them out just in time too, he saved them,"

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1,226 notes - Posted February 9, 2022

can you write something based on joe's interview with jimmy fallon? where he asks about your relationship (you are also part of the cast of stranger things), And joe is so cute talking about you and the audience loves that. thank you ❤️

A/N: This is CUTE! I love this idea!! Thanks for this anon!

Star Struck

Summary: You loved watching you boyfriend make his television debut, but you weren't expecting to get a shout out on national television.

Warnings: Pure fluff!

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1,233 notes - Posted July 27, 2022

Don’t Let Me Go

Summary: Druig and the Eternal reader finally have alone time after the Emergence to express how they feel about each other.

WC: 4,459 words

Inspired by this song:

A/N: This is my first piece of writing like this! Tried to edit it as best as I could :) Sorry if it seemed rushed or uneasy! I hope I did well ! @siempre-bucky, this is for you :)

“You guys did that?”

“I love you…so ..much,”

You chuckled as you were leaning against the archway, watching the TV and seeing the news. There was Tiamut, a marbled statue of the Deviant that almost killed off the entire planet. You remembered being there on the beach when you stopped the Emergence from happening, remembering it all in your mind as you were watching the TV absentmindedly. It felt like a dream that you went though that was beyond real and beyond intense to experience. You could still feel the sea salt air against your skin, the heat of the volcano that erupted because of Tiamut waking up, and the ground shaking under your feet as you were fighting off who used to be our ally.

You were still reeling about Ikaris.

Ever since you all reunited and got back together to stop the Emergence, you had a sinking feeling that it wasn’t the same as it was before. Ikaris was determined in any way, shape, or form to have the Emergence happen, which lead to demise of both Gilgamesh and Ajak in the process. It was as if he stabbed you himself when you heard what he did to Ajak, your view of him forever changed. But in the end, it was Ikaris who was defeated.

These past few days were a whirlwind to you, seeing your family again and trying to save the world at the same time. Your head was spinning with all of this unfolding in front of you, from the moment they recruited you in your small log cabin in the woods out in the outskirts of Canada, you were in over your head. But then again, it was nice to see your family again and to see their faces, it’s been centuries since you’ve all been together. Old memories and moments were sprouting back into your mind as you went along with them, especially with one Eternal in particular.

Druig, the mind controller.

You two were close in the past, it even started in the beginning when you all woke up on the Domo. He found you intriguing, at least that’s what he told you when you introduced yourself to him. He loved the kindness you had with the humans and the gentleness in your movements. You were entranced with his thirst to help the humans, though it was overshadowed with his aloofness and almost mysterious aura that he showed constantly. He was the loner of the family, but not with you.

You were the exception for him.

Your friendship was genuine and good, seeking each other out in dire times and would vent to each other when things did get heavy. You listened to every rant from Druig, hearing the pain in his voice when he couldn’t help the humans in wars. You didn’t mind having him vent to you, knowing that it was going to be better for him in the end to let it all out. In fact, you would only find out later that he would only talk and confess his thoughts to you, not to anyone else. It shocked you at first, but he then confessed why later on one night when you two were walking together.

“I find you safe to talk to,” Druid explained as you walked side by side late one night on a patrol, “I don’t feel any judgment from you at all when we would talk together. I feel…myself with you,”

“I would only want you to be yourself, Druig,” You confessed to him sheepishly, seeing him grin at you before playfully shoving your shoulder with his own. Since then, you developed feelings for the mind controller. It was small and simple, the smaller glances you would give him from across the Domo, or the small flutter of butterflies in your stomach when he would smile at you or laugh at a joke. Even a brush of your arms together was enough to have you loose your breath. It was odd, you falling for the brooding and sarcastic one in the group.

But you were, and you were petrified.

You were heart broken when he left you all at Tenochtitlan those 500 years ago, feeling as though you could do nothing but watch with fallen tears as he made his choice to walk away from his family, from you. On the surface you knew why he had to leave, no longer wanting to be under the control of Arishem and his orders not to interfere. But deep down, way deep down, you had the notion that he was betraying you and what you were building with him. It almost felt like a breakup, maybe it was.

Now you were back together with him, back with the family together to stop the destruction of Earth, it tried to keep those feelings buried deep down. You had a job to do, and as great as it was to see your old friend again and have those butterflies threaten to come back to the surface, you had other things to worry about. But now that it was done, the future was hanging up in the air.

“UUmmm, can you just…give me one second!” Your mind snapped back to the present as Phastos unceremoniously hope up from the couch he was sitting on with Makkari and Druig, placing his plate on Makkari’s lap as he rushed over to the kitchen. Makkari just snorted, nearly tossing both her and Phastos’s plate on the coffee table before she hopped up too while brushing her crumbs on her fingers on her jeans before gliding out of the room. Ben, Phastos’s husband, followed suit to see what his husband was up to.

Which left you and Druig in the room.

Druig sighed, leaning watching the TV screen for another moment or two as your eyes drifted over to him from your spot at the hallway opening. His pale skin was contrasting with his black leather jacket and pants, the massive boots he wore were propped on the table and crossed at the ankles, and his sitting stance on the couch seemed more relaxed and unphased. He used to be like that in the very beginning, the loose way he stood and leaned against a piece of furniture showed he was calm and collected. But as time went on, his stance got sit and rigid, almost painful to look at. At first, you didn’t know why he got so tightly wound in how he stood or how he watched, but you realize later it was because he felt trapped.

Not being able to help.

Now, seeing him look as if he could melt into the furniture, it was a relief for you. He didn’t have to be concerned about the week being of others in the current moment, he could just be himself.

“You look like you’re about to fall asleep there, Dru,” You hummed at him, seeing him perk up a bit from hearing our voice and look over at you. Your heart fluttered from seeing his ocean eyes look a bit more relaxed, no more frantic or stern. He just grinned and sat up on the couch, then motioning with his head.

“Sit with me?” he asked, his voice soothing and a low rumble. You sighed, walking over within the few steps to sit next to him. There was a good amount of space between the both of you on the couch, and yet once you sat down, you saw a look of hesitance on Druig’s face seeing that you weren’t as close to him. Maybe he thought you would be closer to him, and maybe you should have. You two would sit together side by side all the time during meetings and gatherings. Why would this be different?

“What do you supposed one does after you save the world?” You asked in a hum between the both of you, keeping it light as it used to be. Druig merely smiled, hearing the lightness in your tone as he looked at the plate that was sitting in his lap.

“That’s the loaded question, is’t it?” He asked back to you as you chuckled.

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1,309 notes - Posted January 22, 2022

Sparrow 🪶

Sparrow (Part One of Sparrow series)

Summary: The Teleporting Female Eternal didn’t want to loose Druig after what happened at Tenochtitlan. So she made a promise to check on Druig and make sure he was okay.

Little did she know that visiting Druig at his home for the next 400 years sporadically would make her feel more at home than ever before.

Part Two - My Home

Part Three - Lavender

Inspired by this song:

W/C: 9,719 words (It’s Lengthy! Sorry!)

Warnings: Just PURE FLUFF :D

A/N: I apologize in advance for how long this one is! OMG I just started writing and it all came out in one day!

So sorry if it seems rushed or poorly edited, I tried as best as I could! Please enjoy :)

---------------------------

Tenochtitlan

"Druig!"

You skidded to a halt in the middle of the jungle, the humid air was sticking all over your skin and your heart was going 100 miles per hour. It all happened within minutes, minutes of chaos and heartbreak. You saw it all unfold in front of your eyes: one minute you were seeing a mass group of innocent people being slaughtered right in front of your eyes, not being able to do anything to stop or eliminate the threat.

The next minute, your family was fractured.

You searched the darkness, the only source of light was the small glow of the city that was still on fire, far away from you but enough to give a tint of light in the air and the sky. The sounds of the jungle were filling your ears, having you think you barely missed him as he took the last cluster of soldiers with him under his mind control. Your heart was about to drop, thinking that you already lost him for good.

"You shouldn't be out here all alone, little sparrow,"

You heard him behind you using your nickname, almost creeping up along your backside as you turned quickly. There he was, standing off on his own in the middle of a small opening in the jungle. You scanned his face as you walked over the last remaining feet, searching his face and eyes to see if he was okay. You barely had time to reach out and talk to him when he stormed down the temple stairs. But now that he was there, alone in the jungle, you had a sense of both relief and dread going over you. You inwardly sighed in relief that he looked okay, but you just stared at him with sadness in your eyes.

"Thought I lost track of you," You said in a breath, looking past for him a brief moment, "Where's—"

"They're all safe. I made sure of that," Druig answered you before you could finish, not in a bite as he did before when he snapped at Ajak and Ikaris, but gentler and in a soothing way. Maybe he saw the distress on your face and maybe he heard it in your voice, but he seemed like a different person when he was talking to you. You looked back at him directly in the eyes as he shifted in his stance. He had his hands folded in front of him, almost ready for anything you were going to tell him. Did he think you were going to scold him, to coax him into going back?

"Look, Druig," You started to say to him, remaining loose and timid in front of him as if you knew it was just the two of you there, no one listening in or watching, "I just wanted to tell you….I know why you left,"

Druig paused, the hard outer shell that he had a second ago, let alone back at the temple, almost seemed cracked and melted away when you said that to him. He probably expected you to say something else, something against his beliefs. But you were agreeing with him, which came out of nowhere.

Druig was not your best friend, but he was your friend. Since the beginning, Druig saw the humans more than a mere species, you all did. But with the mind controller, he could feel the raw need to help the humans and to bring peace. You admired that about him, seeing that it brought him joy when he saw the humans showing kindness to each other. Yet as the centuries came and went, the joy he had was slowly diminishing to pain and emptiness in his heart. Seeing what happened that night in the temple, you witnessed Druig's own heart breaking right in front of you.

"Really?" He asked genuinely, though he was still sounding slightly bitter and emotional. He didn't think that someone else in the Eternal family would side with him, or say it out loud. You nodded your head as you looked back at the smaller sight of the city that was still on fire and falling apart within minutes.

"I know how long you have been wanting to stop the humans from hurting each other," You explained some more, still looking at the flames that were licking up in the sky, "Druig, Ajak meant well in what she was trying to do with us and for us. But I see your side too,"

"Are you going to stop me?" Druig asked, making you look back at him and see him search your eyes. The darkness of the night couldn't mask the still watery tears that were in Druig's blue orbs, making them almost look contrast. You shook your head slowly at him.

"No," You answered, seeing his shoulder slouch slightly, "You made your choice. I can't stop you from doing what you think is right," You knew better than to stop Druig when he made a choice or a decision. He was capable of taking care of himself, the others forgot that from time to time. But you knew, there was more strength and resilience in him.

"You think I'm right, then?" Druig asked you, his voice sounding a bit bolder as he took a step over to him.

"I do," You explained, "But I still need to stay with them and make sure they're okay,"

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1,603 notes - Posted January 31, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Trinity Lovers

Summary: Your relationship was unique and could be taboo, but having Steve Harrington and Eddie Munson love you equally was more than enough for you.

Warnings: SMUT! 18+ only on this piece! THIS IS A SMUT ONE SHOT, NOT MINORS FROM HERE ON OUT. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

W/C: 2,927

A/N: My first attempt at a Steve and Eddie and Reader paring. I had a thought about it while flying home from visiting family and I want t throw it out there and see if it sticks! It's not a long piece, very short and sweet! I hope you like it :)

Sequel: Gotta Stay High

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1,620 notes - Posted July 7, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #Spotify #SoundCloud

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the-insomniac-emporium · 3 years

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RE8 Ladies + S/o with chronic pain HCs

Type/cause of chronic pain is kept ambiguous, but some of the hcs might seem geared towards migraines, since that's the main thing that I personally struggle with (and these are very definitely comfort hcs). Features Alcina, Bela, Cassandra, Daniela, Donna, Mother Miranda, and as a 'lil bonus Ava. Not particularly long, but the combined length of every character is enough to be put under a read-more (About 2,500 words in total).

Alcina:

It’s difficult for her to know that you are suffering, but be unable to deal directly with the source of the problem. Chasing off unwanted nuisances or hunting down threats to the castle was one thing, trying to solve complicated medical issues was another thing entirely. If only she could tear your condition asunder without tearing you asunder.

That being said, she’ll still support you endlessly, however she can. It doesn’t matter how expensive or hard-to-access possible treatments are. If there’s something you haven’t tried, and are interested in trying, she’ll find a way for you to get it.

The biggest, and arguably most helpful, thing that she does is set up a space for you within her office. She spends quite a lot of time there for her family’s business, but doesn’t want to leave you alone on bad days. So this was her idea of a nice compromise.

There’s a very comfortable sofa that folds out, a cabinet filled with the softest blankets, and several pillows of a few different sizes. Servants are instructed not to interrupt Alcina’s work without good reason, but she has a couple who ensure your snack cabinet is always well stocked.

If there are certain environmental factors to your condition, such as sensitivity to light and sound, she does her best to reduce their effects. Lights remain dimmed (or she’ll rely on candlelight), her music will be kept quiet enough to be soothing, and she’ll refrain from taking any calls while you are with her.

Bela:

To think that Daniela once tried to claim that Bela would “never need to know any of that (medical) stuff”! Sure, there haven’t been many people who have needed (and received) treatment from her, but that didn’t mean the skill was useless. Admittedly, she doesn’t know enough to replace one of your doctors, or try to create her own version of a cure, though no one really expected that much from her.

Still, she knows enough to help soothe your pain. Obviously there are different techniques for different kinds of pain, and she does research before trying anything specific. Bela’s also aware that you’ve been dealing with this for far longer than she has, meaning that you probably wouldn’t be pleased if she came in, acted like an expert, or assumed that you hadn’t really thought about the most popular remedies. So she’s tactful with how she approaches things, always checking if you’re familiar with a subject before she tries to explain anything.

Bela ends up surprising you with a lesser-known skill of hers: Massage. Studying anatomy has given her a decent idea of the body’s more sensitive spots, and the rest she’s figured out through her own, ahem, experiences. Regardless of where you’re in pain, your girlfriend can help reduce your suffering. Okay, well, if your pain is more internal than external, it’s a bit harder for her, but she can still help you relax.

One of her favorite things to do after giving you a massage is to just pull you in close for some cuddling. Preferably you’ll be in her lap, with her arms around your waist, her chin tucked on top of your shoulder. Then she’ll do her best to whisper you praises, reminding you how strong you are, and that she’s incredibly proud of you.

Cassandra:

She’s, uh, not great at this. At least not at first. Maybe she’ll never be more than good at it, though. But she’s definitely trying! And learning! By Jove, that’s something, right?

First things first, she’s always ready to try to distract you, primarily through kisses and gentle touches. Fingers softly trailing over your skin, lips tickling your neck, featherlight in all the right places… It’s not inherently sexual (though it can quickly go that route if you ask), just intimate. It’s harder for your brain to process pain when you’re also processing pleasure, so there is some science behind Cassandra’s methods, even if she herself isn’t entirely aware of that.

While she’s not great with words, there are certain things that she manages to articulate well enough. For one, she makes sure you know that you aren’t a burden. Taking care of you- no, helping you take care of yourself- is a labor of love, if a labor at all. More than that, she knows full well that you probably don’t like feeling pitied, or coddled. That, over time, being sick ends up being beyond frustrating. She never wants you to feel like your condition defines you, or like it puts any strain on your relationship.

That said, she’ll avoid telling her family any specifics unless you do first, and ensures that the staff know how to accommodate you (without telling them why, because it’s none of their fucking business, and she’s their boss, and for fuck’s sake it’s their job to do what she tells them. Maybe she gets a lil bit overzealous with it). At no point will she ever complain about helping you, or otherwise indicate that your needs are “troublesome”.

At the end of the day, the best comfort she brings you is her presence, simply being near you, endlessly loyal, tireless in her affections. Especially considering she gets clingier the worse your symptoms get.

Daniela:

Hope you enjoy cuddling. Seriously. There’s nothing Daniela loves more than curling up with you, and that goes double for bad pain days. Some adjustments will be made position-wise if you need, but she’ll still hold you as close as possible, for as long as you need. Although she might eventually fall asleep (because damn are you comfy), she’ll play with your hair or run her fingers along your scalp until she eventually dozes off.

If you want a little more from her than light snoring, or if she feels like going above and beyond, or honestly just if she’s thinking about how much she loves you (so all the effing time), she’ll do something she’s always loved in movies/books: Reading to you! She’ll pick special books that neither of you have read before, so you can experience them together on your sick(er) days. Which does, of course, mean that it might take months to finish even a single one. Surprisingly, Daniela won’t even briefly consider reading any without you. Even if the plot is really good.

But, uh, if you wanted her to read to you on a day where you aren’t bedridden? Hell yes, my friend, she’s absolutely down for that!

On days where she’s too busy to spend hours upon hours in bed with you, or days where her ADHD is just particularly bad, she tries her best to leave you with a “substitute”. AKA a massive fucking teddy bear, in a reddish brown color, with a green bowtie. Custom ordered (The Duke did not dare tease her for it). There’s a heart stitched onto the stuffed animal’s chest, which features your first initial alongside a D for Daniela.

Additionally, she has a blanket she only brings out for you, which she periodically sprays with her favorite perfume. That way you can hold it close when she’s not around, as if you were cuddling her. For her sake, though, don’t hold the teddy bear or blanket too tightly when she is around. Homegirl here will get jealous of inanimate objects, even ones that she gave you.

Donna:

“I think I have a tea for this…” Damn right she has a tea for this. Donna has a massive garden, with dozens if not hundreds of different plants, including a variety of herbs/spices. At least one of them has to be a little helpful for you. Whether it relieves pain, helps you nap off some of your misery, or just distracts you by tasting bloody-well delicious! Besides, few things make you feel quite as loved as holding a cup of freshly brewed tea in your hands, knowing your lover made it just for you. Like a hug in a mug, it is!

Similarly to Alcina, Donna will also try to create a comfortable space for you, but isn’t likely to put it downstairs with her workshop. Instead she’ll let you take over one of the larger guest rooms, customizing it to suit your specific needs. There will be some easy to care for plants for decoration (ones that won’t mind potentially missing out on natural sunlight), a couple relaxing paintings, and a shelf near the bed with things to help you pass the time, mainly books.

Furthermore, she’ll do her best to keep you company as often as possible. She’s naturally a fairly quiet person, so you won’t have to worry about sound if that’s something you’re sensitive to. While she prefers using a sewing machine, she’ll do things by hand while you’re in pain, just to reduce the chances of you getting irritated by the sound.

Speaking of potentially irritating sounds… by god can Angie be difficult to be around when you’re ill. Thankfully, Donna is perfectly understanding of this, and, as the only person Angie ever listens to, makes sure to give the doll a stern talking to about your health. To your immense surprise, it actually works. You’re not exactly sure what was said, but Angie certainly becomes a lot more compensating afterwards. She’ll keep her antics to herself, and usually even on another side of the house from where you rest, but only for as long as you’re tucked away in your room. As soon as you set foot outside, her restraints are metaphorically removed. All hell breaks loose (as is her universe-given right as the physical embodiment of both Chaos and Entropy).

Mother Miranda:

If the two of you weren’t lovers, there’s a decent chance you would completely misinterpret her actions. She might come off as irritated, like she has bigger concerns than your health, you fragile little human. After all, she is a goddess (well, practically). But the truth is that she’s aching inside every time you have a bad pain day, knowing that (for once) she cannot cure your ailment. Maybe if she had infinite subjects with the same condition as you…

But, at the end of the day, that’s the problem. There’s only one of you. One of her beloved, her little human darling, so dangerously fragile in comparison to the scale she works on. Even with all the time in the world, which she most certainly has, she cannot cure you without taking incredible risks. With your life at stake… It is a gamble she refuses to take. You are hers, and while she hates to see you suffer, the truth is that she’ll always be selfish enough to let you endure on your own.

That doesn’t mean she doesn’t help, though, just that she doesn't do a full-out experiment on you. Instead, she keeps notes. She’ll track your activities, bedtimes/when you get up, dietary habits, when you have pain, what you do to treat said pain, how effective the treatments are, etc, etc. All of this can be very useful in establishing patterns (a skill she’s gotten very good at, in her many decades of being a scientist), which can in turn lead to less pain days.

(For example, many people with migraines find that certain foods seem to trigger a migraine, or at least increase the chances of getting one. Though admittedly they don’t always end up cutting the food out of their diet. I mean, come on, you want me to give up chocolate? You want me to drink normal milk, like an adult? Kidding, kidding, I don’t have any food triggers. Nor do I particularly enjoy chocolate milk, nor do I dislike it.)

Moving on! While her work seemingly takes precedence over your condition, Miranda is not heartless, and she does do some things to lend you more direct comfort. Specifically, she tries to work in the same room as you when she can, normally while making electronic copies of physical documents, or while looking over the details of a finished experiment. She’s not always one for cuddling, so she won’t often get in bed with you during the daytime. But at night? Yes, fine, she will wrap her arms around you, maybe one of her wings too if you like how soft they are.

Just don’t think that she secretly loves every second. It’s not like she’ll spend half an hour whispering about how sweet and adorable you are as soon as you fall asleep, or anything like that. It’s twenty minutes at the most.

Bonus!Avaskian Caldwell:

“Oh, fuckin’ mood!” Followed by a solid thirty seconds of pure regret. Seriously, though, Ava has spent xer entire life (starting at age 10) dealing with chronic migraines. For a while xe also dealt with POTS (Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome), which meant lots of chest pain, but that (thankfully) faded as xe grew into an adult, as is fairly common with the condition. If anyone in Castle Dimitrescu understands unrelenting, unexplainable pain, it’s xer.

That being said… Ava never really managed xer chronic pain, at least not when xe was at xer worst. Xe had to drop out of school because of it. Hell, xe didn’t have a “real” job until xe was almost 23! Didn’t have a chance until things just calmed down for xer. So xe gets anxious whenever you talk about your health, worried that things are (or will at some point be) as bad for you as they were for xer. Other than that, though, you might initially think that xe doesn’t care, or didn’t understand the conversation.

Truth is, xe knows how absolutely fucking ANNOYING it can be to have to explain your health to every new person you meet (like the dozen different doctors you’ve met over the years, possibly every nurse who takes your pulse and thinks it’s a little bit high). So xe did a shit ton of research on your condition, in order to reduce how much you need to explain. Sure, xe will still have questions, and there are always aspects that only you can tell xer, but it’s a nice gesture.

As for helping you destress, xe’s pretty much a mix of Bela and Miranda. You’ll get plenty of massages (because Ava has learned from personal experience what sort of touches help with which sorts of pain), but also some scientific insight on any noticeable patterns. Lots of holding you close and telling you that you’re the coolest person in the world, and that Ava feels beyond lucky to have you.

#alcina dimitrescu x reader #bela dimitrescu x reader #cassandra dimitrescu x reader #daniela dimitrescu x reader #donna beneviento x reader #mother miranda x reader #oc x reader #avaskian caldwell #j has ocs #re8 village #resident evil: village #hcs

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disgruntledspacedad · 3 years

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Jayyy!! Sweet, slutty in the AM.

Without giving BL spoilers, or maybe you won't? Idk 👀👀 not *cough* fishing or anything *cough*

Can I please have 💖 for Javier??? I'm curious...

Angel out-

Javiears pregnancy headcanons? You got it, babe!

Quick and obvious disclaimer to treat all of these as if they are a Better Love AU, at least until I tell you otherwise. 😘

Any baby that these two have would be a total surprise. Ears never wanted kids, and Javi has never thought long enough about it to decide how he feels about a family. He’s always assumed that was never in the cards for him.

Once the initial shock wears off - and that’s gonna take quite a while for both of them - Javi and Ears both jump feet first into the parenting thing. They each harbor some intense opinions about what a kid should and shouldn’t have to put up with, and there are lots of deep conversations that Last into the early morning hours. They nail down the important stuff pretty early, decide that they’ll figure out the rest with time, and discover a whole lot more about one another in the process.

Ears’ body hates being pregnant. She doesn’t realize it, but she’s got her Ashkenazi ancestry to thank for this. Ears is sick as dog snot clear through her first trimester and well into her second, exhausted and achy and throwing the fuck up. She gets awful migraines, too. There are days when Javi is convinced that carrying this baby is going to kill her, and he worries a lot.

Ears handles all of this as stoically as she can. She’s miserable, but she’s not about to complain and make Javi feel even worse.

Speaking of Javi, that protective streak he’s got goes into overdrive the instant Ears tells him about the baby. Ears has got to constantly remind him that she’s pregnant, not dying, and Javi good god, please just let me do things, okay??

That being said, it takes Javi a little while to connect the idea of Ears being pregnant to Ears carrying his baby. It’s all very abstract to him, to the point that on Ears’ worst days, Javi almost feels a little resentful.

That all changes at Ears’ sixteen week appointment. She’s just starting to feel like a human again, and this time, Javi is allowed to go back with her.

Oh my god, you guys, when Javier Peña sees that blurry, black and white, tiny little baby on the ultrasound screen... yall, his entire world shifts.

Ears notices instantly. It’s kind of hard not to, given how tightly Javi is suddenly gripping her hand. He glances over at him to find his eyes glued to the screen, silent tears rolling down his cheeks. It takes her aback a little. “You okay?” she asks quietly, and Javi nods, drags his eyes away from the ultrasound screen and gives her a soft, wet smile, and something slots into place for Ears, too.

Javi quits smoking cold turkey that day. Seeing his tiny little daughter for the first time put a lot of things into perspective, and Javi decides then and there that he wants to be there for her as long as possible.

The first three weeks are miserable. Javi does his best to get out of the house when he’s feeling tetchy (which is always), and Ears does her best to be understanding, but they get into more than a few little spats.

The makeup sex is 🔥🔥🔥, though.

Ears is not a big girl. When she starts to show, she shows fast, and Javi swears he can see her body change every day. Ears is pretty indifferent. She’s not self conscious - Ears finds pregnancy to be inconvenient, more than anything.

Javier Peña has never seen anything as beautiful as Hannah Aarons carrying his child.

Javi fucking loves it. There’s something primal about running his hand over the gentle swell of Ears’ belly and knowing that it’s his daughter that’s growing there. He’s not one to talk to the bump, but Javi can hardly stop himself from touching it. All the fucking time. Ears will sometimes playfully shoo him away. “Hands to yourself, you animal. I’m trying to nap!”

Seriously, their sex life doesn’t suffer at all. It doesn’t help that Ears refuses to buy maternity clothes. She’d much rather lounge around in Javi’s t-shirts and his old sweats, something that makes Javi’s cave man brain damn near implode every single time he sees it.

Ugh, and he’s sweet to her. Observant and affectionate and accommodating of absolutely everything. Cravings? Tell me what you want, babe, I’ll get three. Foot massage? Come here, mi reina, let me make it better. Yawning through dinner? Go get in bed, Ears, I’ve got dishes tonight.

Javi starts noticing Ears’ puffy feet somewhere around the 28th week or so. Ears swears they don’t hurt, exactly, so they both write it off as one of those weird pregnancy things.

It’s not. Ears has severe pre-eclampsia. Javi only finds this out after Ears gets a migraine so bad that she can’t see straight. Javi carries her to the car and forces her to go to the hospital. They’re there for all of five minutes when the doctor on call deems Ears’ blood pressure to be high enough to constitute a medical emergency, and Javi’s world is turned upside down again when he hears the word “c-section.”

Ears is only 33 weeks pregnant.

Less than an hour later, Javi is holding his baby girl. She’s tiny, the tiniest little human that Javi has ever seen, but she’s got a hell of a set of lungs on her, and Javi has never been so relieved, so stunned, so riveted, or so enraptured by anything in his entire life.

Oh, shit, he’s crying again.

She’s absolutely perfect. Off her oxygen within two days, taking feedings like a champ, and obliterating every goal her pediatrician sets for her.

Javi is so fucking proud when his girl is discharged a full week earlier than the doctors anticipated. She’s still a little small, but growing like a weed, and Javi just knows that between her and her mom, he’s gonna have his hands full.

Ears is fine, just a little sore. There are no long term complications from pre-eclampsia, so as soon as she’s up and sort of moving, Ears in full mom mode.

Ears loves being a mom, but she and Javi are in full agreement on this - one and done.

#Javier Peña #Javier Peña x reader #pedro pascal #narcos #narcos netflix #Javier Peña x you #Javier Peña imagine #better love #hannah aarons #javiears #you’ll notice that this is not exactly the if I fall scenario #so keep that in mind

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punksarahreese · 2 years

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Could you tell a little bit more about how Ava cope/deal with Sarah being in so much pain? It must be terrifying especially with the migraine episode. I love this au, thank you!!!

Absolutely dear anon <3

***

Pain has always been a touchy thing for Ava

It feels too vulnerable, exposing oneself to others by voicing your discomfort

It makes her feel like a cornered prey animal, left in the open for the vultures

She was honestly a pretty healthy kid, maybe a broken bone or a nasty sprain here or there but she was able bodied her whole life

So she never really stopped to think how chronic pain would impact her as a person and as a doctor

She saw her fair share of patients with co-morbid conditions that caused pain

But none of it prepared her for the emotional rollercoaster of being the anxious loved one who couldn’t stop their person’s pain

Sarah didn’t tell her about her chronic pain or illness in the beginning

No one really knew about it because she was afraid asking for accommodations or anything of the sort would ruin her chance at becoming a doctor

It wasn’t until her and Ava had been dating for a few months that she found out, all because Sarah pushed herself right into a massive costochondritis flare and she had to explain to Ava that the heart attack-like symptoms did not warrant a chewable aspirin and an ambulance ride

That was a lot for Ava to process

She’s always been the type to want to fix things as soon as possible

That’s why she likes surgery, she knows the steps and can logic out the problem in surgical cases

With chronic health issues, though, it’s no where near as predictable and that was hard

She grew so fond of Sarah and Ava loves so hard so of course she wanted to protect her

So seeing her in pain or visibly struggling was a lot harder on Ava than she wanted to admit

Connor would never tell (probably because he would get unalived by the woman in question) but Ava had cried with him on multiple occasions

After long surgeries where she had been worrying the whole time that Sarah was hurting without her

After yet another specialist told her girlfriend that it was all in her head

Even after an inconclusive ECG and cardio work up told Ava there was nothing visibly wrong with her heart, even though Sarah knew this wasn’t normal

All she could do some days was cry because it was all so discouraging

And she couldn’t imagine how hard it was on Sarah to experience all of it

It makes Ava feel so useless when Sarah is in so much pain and all she can do is hold her

Or on those days where she’s too sensitive to any contact that a gentle hug can burn her girlfriend like a thousand suns

It’s those days that she wants to curl up and cry the most because she feels like her one way of comforting Sarah through those hard times is taken away

Sometimes she does have to take breaks and Sarah understands that

She knows deep down that this is hard on her girlfriend and she can’t expect her to be there during every flare or appointment

And she would never expect that of Ava, she knows how hard it is to watch a loved one suffer and she really wants Ava to know she only has to give as much as she can at the moment

Ava has a hard time leaving, though, so she often only takes her breaks in another room or when someone else is around Sarah so she isn’t in pain alone if she doesn’t want to be

It’s so terrifying for her, especially being a doctor because she knows the long term effects can be devastating

Pain meds wear off and your body adjusts, low dose antidepressants only do so much, beta blockers and fluids don’t stop the postural tachycardia for good

It’s all short term and it’s horrible to know that even these aids can cause worse side effects

The hemiplegic migraines are the scariest for her and Sarah

They’re so unpredictable and each one can be one step closer to a real stroke

It doesn’t matter how many times Ava sees one of these attacks, the medically trained part of her brain sets off the stroke alarm bells at the first sign of one sided weakness or Bell’s palsy

Those attacks are when she sees Sarah at her most vulnerable, unable to hold herself up and slurring every word past recognition

Where she’s crying and holding her head because it’s so heavy with pain she can’t think straight

Every time ava wonders if this is it, if this is a real stroke this time and she may lose her girlfriend for real

She hates that she even has to worry about that

It’s terrifying for Ava, it really is, but all she can do is remember why she’s there

She’s there to love Sarah and support her in any way she can

Even if it’s just through a hug or bringing her a glass of water or reading her case notes when she can’t look at the screen herself

She copes by reminding herself that she made the choice to be in this relationship and she will always make the choice to stay

She loves Sarah more than anything and she knows the other woman needs her support and love

Every other obstacle is just that, regardless of how scary or draining it is in the moment

#my aus #chronic #spoonie!sarah #chicago med #ava bekker #sarah reese #reesker #asks #anon

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the--social--anarchist · 5 years

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Study Tips for Chronically Ill Students

Most bloggers aren’t writing for the chronically ill audience. Typical tips, tricks and hacks on productivity, motivation and studying just don’t work for us. As a chronically ill student who’s in her last year of undergrad (yay!) I decided to share what I have learned over the (many) years.

1. Get comfortable. Seriously. Don’t force yourself to sit at your desk, or go out to a coffee shop to study. Most people will tell you not to lay in bed while you read your books but if you are anything like me, getting ready and driving to the library or Starbucks just takes too much energy. I recommend making yourself a nice set up with everything you need. If you can tolerate sitting at a desk don’t skimp out. Buy yourself a decent, ergonomic office or gaming chair. Make sure you have a drink, a snack, your medication, charges, books, and anything else you need within arms reach. The less you have to get up the more energy you are saving.

2. Take frequent breaks. Okay, this may sound contradictory to tip #1 but hear me out. Everyone person is different, every body is different, and every day is different. Some days your symptoms are just so bad you need to get comfortable and try not to move. But other days you might be fighting brain fog and mental exhaustion. So get up, or even just stop and sit for a minute to rest your mind. Some days I will stop every few sections and get up to do something small like apply a face mask, go back to studying, and then get up in 15 minutes to wash it off etc. Just find what works for you.

3. Write shit down. Write everything down. And write it in multiple places. Again, brain fog is such a bitch, but writing things down multiple times in multiple places will help you remember. I have a paper calendar that I write all my assignment due dates, doctors appointments, and other important things onto, but I also have an assignment check list with all of my upcoming assignments in my notebook. Also, I keep a huge running list titled Never Ending List of Shit To Do with boring chores and tasks that need to be done like doctors to call, bills to pay, letters to mail etc; and I use that list to pick and choose what I’m going to do each day and fill that out on a sticky note or another small insert that serves as my daily to do list.

4. Establish a routine. But don’t be discouraged if you can’t follow it to a T and don’t be afraid to change it up. My routine changes a lot because my symptoms and body are constantly changing too. Also, it’s important to note that a routine is not the same as a schedule. This is important for those of us with chronic illness because its just not feasible to assume we will be able to get up at the same time every day, eat lunch at the same time every day, and study for the same amount of time every day.

5. Stay (way) ahead of schedule. You never know what life is going to throw at you, especially when you are chronically ill. Unfortunately, we can’t plan our flares, but we can prepare for them. If you know you suffer from migraines that will knock you out of commission for 3 days then make sure you are always 3 days ahead of schedule. Something I highly recommend is doing a little bit every day, even if its only 20 minutes of reading. Of course, sometimes we need a break and that’s okay too! Self care is important!

6. Online classes are the best. So many people say online classes are hard because you have to be super disciplined, and that it’s easier to have the accountability to show up to class, but I highly disagree. Online classes give you the freedom to read when you want, listen to lectures when you want, sleep when you need to, and stay comfortable in bed when it would be impossible to get to class. I work solely online and if it weren’t for the option of online classes I would not be in college right now or anytime in the near future.

7. Audio is your friend. Honestly, this is a tip for everyone in high school or college out there. Sometimes we are too tired or in too much pain to stare at a book or screen, or sometimes we need to utilize our energy wisely and multitask by listening while we clean the house. And this isn’t limited to audio text books. There are so many YouTube videos, podcasts, documentaries and more that you can easily just pop on while you are resting or doing chores! I listen to my lectures while I do my nails every week.

8. Don’t rewrite your notes. Don’t write them at all if you can avoid it. Almost all of my professors supply chapter outlines or summaries that I can just print off and fill in extra notes on. If you do need to write your notes I suggest typing them, or only writing them out once, and only what is most important. Whatever you do, don’t rewrite them, and for the love of god do not waste your time trying to make them look like an Instagram photo. Ain’t nobody got spoons for that.

9. Try to balance your course load appropriately. If you are taking a full course load try to even out the number of upper division classes you take with some easy classes, as well as some boring and some interesting. Alternatively, don’t be afraid to drop classes and go down to part time, even if just for one semester. I have tried to stay full time all year round since I re-enrolled in school fall semester of 2017, but spring of 2019 my health took a drastic decline and I did drop down from 5 classes to 3. I also took summer of 2019 off to focus on my health and came back this semester (fall 2019) ready to rock and roll. Seriously, do not be afraid to drop classes. It felt like the end of the world when I did it, but it was absolutely the right choice for me. It saved my GPA and my sanity.

10. Talk to your professor. And your university, and your classmates, and your adviser, and anyone else around you who can offer resources and support. Every university and college has a Disability Services Coordinator Student Center available to request accommodations. The information to contact the center should be listed on your syllabus and the school website. They can help with everything and anything disability related. And if you feel comfortable you should really talk to your professor. Just give them a heads up and inform them of what’s going on. As for your classmates, its always good to connect and find a study buddy or someone you can borrow notes from whether you have a disability or not!

I really hope this list can help some fellow chronically ill students out there. This is what I have learned in my 5+ years of attending college with various chronic and mental illnesses. I truly live by everything I talked about in this post and I have been fairly successful in my academic career. Please re-blog this post to help a fellow student who may have a chronic illness or disability! Happy studying!

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trellanyx · 3 years

Note

your jonathan crane (who i love so very much) and numbers 1 through... oh, lets say 25 ;)

(Send me a character and a number)

Have I told you how much I love you lately, Lizard? Because I do. Oh yes I do. 😂

Word vomiting about my Jon in 3, 2, 1...

1) Something this character is truly proud of.

His work, of course. Not just the toxin, but the breadth of his knowledge, his experiments, his successes and vengeances. Jonathan is an expert in his field, and considering what he went through to get there he’s damn proud of it.

2) Who they want to please the most.

Jonathan Crane does not give a single solitary fuck about what anyone thinks of him. The only satisfaction he cares about is his own. Considering how high his standards are, that’s a big enough challenge already.

3) Who depends on them.

No one. Jon may make you think you need him if that serves his end goal, but other than that he keeps his distance. If you’re in a position where you actually depend on Jonathan Crane’s services, you’re fucked.

4) What they would do if they had one month to live.

Work feverishly to A) preserve his work and B) push it as far as it can go before his body betrays him. Jon would be pulling such long, intense hours that it’s quite possible he’d drop dead before the month was up from sheer exhaustion. If he doesn’t, then he takes his magnum opus and goes out with a hell of a bang.

5) A cherished personal belonging.

Nothing. He has things he likes more than most: a tortoiseshell watch, a spring-loaded gun, his sturdiest boots, his sharpest scythe - the whole fear gauntlet, actually, impractical as it was - but nothing he’d go as far as to say he cherishes. Everything Jon owns is expendable, and no matter how attached he might be to something, there’s nothing he wouldn’t chuck in a fire instantly if he needed to.

6) Something they lost, but would love to have back.

“Unlimited access to test subjects wrapped in a stable paycheck. Arkham’s much more fun on the other side of the straitjacket.”

7) This character’s favorite character

I give up. It’s been days. Days that this post has sat in my drafts while I tried to think of this asshole’s favorite character, and I’ve got nothing. I’ve come up with a couple of disparate headcanons involving Jon and fiction in general, but I have no answer for this one. I offer this as a placeholder: “He doesn’t have any because he’s a contrary and insufferable bastard.”

8) What kind of car they would drive.

Dark, boring, older than sin. The gas pedal is the most abused piece of equipment in South Gotham. There’s a stain on the backseat floor that Jon says is coffee, and no one is brave enough to question him. Edward refuses to be seen dead in it. One day Jon’s gonna take that as a challenge.

9) What calms them when they are upset.

It really depends on the type of distress that it is. The basic scale is this:

Drumming his nails against things, or just tapping against the nearest flat surface if his nails aren’t long enough. (Common response to most grievances.)

Stepping outside for a smoke. He goes back inside when he either feels better or runs out of cigarettes.

Pacing inside or stalking through the streets like he’s on his way to kill somebody, taking small, petty pleasure watching people jump out of his way.

Stewing in a corner with a bottle of strong alcohol.

Actually killing somebody.

10) How they deal with pain.

Grits his teeth and bears it. The first lesson he ever learned.

11) This character’s favorite piece or pieces of clothing.

As Scarecrow: His plague doctor mask, which replaced the traditional burlap after he stopped being able to feel fear.

As Jon: Custom winter gloves with longer fingers to accommodate his nails in the winter.

12) How they sleep.

I’ve talked about this before, actually! Here’s the quote:

Since he suffers from chronic insomnia and chronic I Have No Idea What Healthy Habits Look Like, Jonathan doesn’t go to bed very often. He’s more likely to pass out wherever he is - couch, desk, once on a morgue slab (don’t ask)… But when he does sleep in a bed, he tosses and turns a ridiculous amount. It’s not that he’s having nightmares (though with the way he moves, how could you tell), he just has a hard time getting comfortable. He’ll turn over at least 3-6 times before falling asleep, and he’ll keep shifting even after he does. It’s very common for Jonathan to fall asleep with three blankets and wake up with only one.

13) What kind of parent they would be.

*hysterical laughter* NO.

14) How they did in school.

He struggled with it a lot. Not because of a lack of intelligence or drive, but because:

Constant undernourishment and late night punishments made it difficult for Jon to stay awake in class. (His insomnia didn’t develop until he was in his early 20s.)

His homework was often late or mediocre because Jon did it after being beaten or kept busy with his grandmother’s laborious demands, if he was in a state to do it at all.

Jon’s glasses were almost never up to date. Constant squinting compounded by what Jon now knows were chronic migraines made class not only difficult to concentrate on, but physically painful.

Bullying. I don’t think I need to elaborate there.

Jon barely eked out a GPA high enough to get him into a local community college with the help of a scholarship targeted toward low-income families. Once his grandmother and bullies “helpfully” left the picture and Jon could focus on eliminating the obstacles above, he threw himself into his studies like a man possessed, and by the time he graduated, he’d secured himself entry to a post-baccalaureate program in Gotham. He used that as a stepping stone to med school and the rest is history.

15) What cologne or perfume they would use.

Jon doesn’t like either. His only indulgence in the smell department is almond-scented soap.

16) Their sexuality.

It varies depending on what version of him I’m playing, but it’s always either bi or gay.

17) What they’d sing at karaoke.

Something slow, creepy and mournful, probably not even on the set list, while he stares at you unblinking and makes you regret every decision in your life that helped force him onstage. You don’t ask for an encore.

18) Special talents they have.

Jon is double-jointed, a great whistler, sews all his costumes and is an adequate mechanic. See the “should be dead twelve times over” car he still drives. He’s also a better swimmer than people give him credit for, something that’s saved his life more than once.

19) When they feel safest.

In front of a fireplace. Jon can’t really explain it, nor does it make sense considering how much he hates heat in general. But there’s something about sitting in front of a fire that really relaxes him. (Don’t bother with the scarecrow/fire jokes, he’s heard them all.)

20) Household chore they hate the most.

Bathrooms.

21) Their fondest childhood memory.

“Killing them.”

22) How they spend their money.

Books, chemicals, caffeine, alcohol, weapons. And then living essentials. Maybe. Depends on how low he is on nicotine. (Jon’s spending habits are so predictable it became a running joke on campus, what did you expect.)

23) What kind of alcohol they drink.

He’s not picky, but nothing beats a finely aged whiskey. He’s also partial to Black Russians.

24) What they wish they could change about themselves.

Useful as it can be, Jon regrets the loss of his ability to feel fear. He also wishes he didn’t get migraines so often. Nothing on the personality front, though: Jon knows what he is.

25) What other people wish they could change about them.

Oh honey, there’s not enough hours in the day to list all that.

#lizard-hair #batman #jonathan crane #my headcanons #ask #i hope it was worth the wait bb #again THANK YOU #i could talk about my version of this asshole all day long

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saphaburnell · 3 years

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Ridicule the Strangeness: A musing on Hildegaard

"Now I deliberately hid the difference in me, away from the eyes of men in the outer world who might guess, intrude, and ridicule the strangeness in me. Then, for a while, its silence became shaming, and I began to seek it only in the times just before and after the offices and the singing of the Mass, when the sound of the chant would lend its own auditory beauty, clarity and spiritual power to bring my silent world into liturgical time." -- The Journal of Hildegaard von Bingen by Barbara Lachman

Reading Hildegaard’s journals, as imagined by Barbara Lachman, my silenced shames seem pedantic. Elementary, or non-essential. A woman in Twelfth Century Germany receiving visions clung to, as if they were a hidden second blood pumping through her heart. Theorists wonder at whether she suffered from migraines or synesthesia as a cause, but Hildegaard knew her strangeness. For Hildegaard, in the powerless garb and form of a woman, she lived on the good graces of the Catholic Church and the patriarchs enrobed within. Too vocal a woman, too obscene or outside the veil, would she be seen as a demonic influence? A heretic thrown from every security she’s known? What possible complaint could I possess, born and raised in North America’s 20th & 21st Centuries?

My childhood world was one of constant daydreaming, imaginative plays in my inner world until Gran huffed and inevitably told me to stop pretending. Stop being so dramatic. There seemed an eternal veil between my widened eyes and compatriot children in class, a veil which remained outside junior academics. The disconnect between a wealthy imaginative life and the realities of a society built to create harmonic, everyday life tore at my soul like clothes, which never fit. Sweater sets bought by a mother, who dressed me like her, jeans fought for in younger days, t-shirts instead of blouses. I could and did put on the appropriate attire for the occasion, suits and suit dresses, skirts, kilts, uniforms.

I hid and reacted to reality as if from behind fractured glass, distorted and astounding. Like Hildegaard, I feared ridicule of my strangeness. Covered my creativity and gender fluidity in a self-shamed silence until it took more years to write a book like NEON Lieben than all its’ predecessors waiting their turn. Perhaps NEON Lieben is too revelatory of my inner complications, of characters who are villain, hero, faulty people in mind-bending situations constantly seeking redefinition.

Now, purple and pink hair, a masculine cut to my suits and open authorship, the shames and traumas of the past need to crumble. How can one both hide in shame of their non-traditional self, and encourage others to read a book, which also struggles with like identities? As Lieben discovers her sense of independent self, so may I. As Fester’s body shifts from the shame of boyhood to the glory of her rightful female self, so may I stand in androgyny and be blessed. As the Assets Kate, Clive, Arun choose their gender like clothes, so may I relish the fluidity of gender’s concepts and allow the shame of silence to shift in an ever present hope beyond Hildegaard’s ‘liturgical time’.

Yet, the freedom to choose one’s representation of gender is still not sacred. Women are not equals, people within the LGBTQA community are not free in all places in this world. The microcosm I grew up in was not accommodating to gender identity crises beyond the power of prayer to ‘fix’ one, or the promised joys of marriage, babies and a quiet life. I kept silent, let the cause of my shame be covered over with bizarre, but lonely behaviours. Words, which shouted, locked behind silence.

Hildegaard’s strangeness brought her through history, a woman who commanded her presence (within the patriarchy) and eventually allowed her strangeness to drive generations of spiritual seekers. Be my muse, Hildegaard. Attack me with the reversion of silence, to allow our strangeness no shame.

#Hildegard von Bingen #Author Life #LGBTQ+#Neon Lieben #shame #christian mystic

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grimmbrookhq · 4 years

Photo

THE SPREAD JUNE 18 – JUNE 22

Elizabeth dug around in her purse for her car keys. Her blind date was a disaster. She’d never let Lucy set her up again. After the date was over, she stayed at Blue Caterpillar for another hour or so. The music was good, and she made the trek there. She didn’t see much reason to leave. Now, she was tired and had a busy day of work the next day. She left the building, her hand clutching her keys as she walked to her car. She began to unlock her door when she noticed something in the distance, squinting at it. It looked like fog, but she didn’t think it reached downtown.

She didn’t think much of it, blaming her exhaustion and the night for making her see things so Elizabeth headed home to Neverland, falling into bed with her alarm set for six am. When the alarm started blaring the next morning, she thought maybe she’d set it for the wrong time. It was still dark outside, well, darker than six am in the summer had any right to be. Groggily, she moved the window and froze at what she saw: mist, as far as the eye could see.

***

The Mayor’s office strongly advised people to stay home along with the Sheriff’s Department that day. But people were angry, they wanted to know what exactly was going on and some even decided to find out firsthand.

Elizabeth, who’d always been easily swayed by her friends, let Lucy convince her of the hoax after two days sitting at home, bored out of her mind because she couldn’t get to work. They went out, bundled like it was the dead of winter, trying to see how far the mist went and if the Mayor’s office was really telling the truth about the whole town being covered.

Their adventure was fine for a bit, until they began to realize they didn’t exactly know which direction they’d come from, and realized they couldn’t really hear anyone else. Maybe everyone actually had listened and stayed inside. That was it. That had to be it. And Elizabeth really wanted to believe that when Lucy grabbed her arm and pointed in the distance, insisting that she saw something moving. When she looked, Elizabeth didn’t see anything and told her friend to stop messing with her. But Lucy wouldn’t stop. She began tugging her arm, saying that her brother was there: her brother that Elizabeth knew died two years prior. She tried to pull Lucy away but the other woman wouldn’t listen and took off, running in the direction she said her brother was in.

Before Elizabeth could catch up, Lucy was gone, and she was left alone in the mist. Sweat trickled down her temple, whether from the winter attire she was wearing in June or the rate at which she felt her heart beating, Elizabeth couldn’t say. Lucy? Lucy?! Lucy– she broke off in a cough that had her doubling over. This wasn’t good. This wasn’t good at all. Five minutes later, her head was spinning and she stumbled forward until she knocked into something: a park bench.

She was wheezing now, eyes watery as her nostrils were seared with a sharp pain and her chest constricted. Pawing at the bench for support, Elizabeth barely took another step before collapsing, hands hitting damp grass as she convulsed, vomiting the breakfast she’d had what felt like years ago now. She pressed a shaking hand to her chest before her other one buckled and she collapsed completely, body seizing as tears streamed down her face.

The last thing she saw were dark shapes in the distance that faded in and out as her vision did the same until, finally, there was just darkness.

***

Elizabeth’s body was recovered two days later by officers in hazmat suits. She’d walked a mile from her home. Lucy’s body was recovered the same day. She’d somehow managed to get as far as Swan Lake, her body found on the shore, in a similar manner as Elizabeth’s. With these two being the first Neverland residents to die, the police begin implementing stricter curfews.

This lasted for a week before a pattern was noticed: there were several pockets of time where the mist wasn’t as thick, seeming to dissolve and grow lighter before coming back full force. During those times, they began to give citizens the okay to leave and get their essentials if they absolutely needed to but warned that anyone leaving between those times should keep track, to avoid getting stuck outside when the mist returns.

PLAYER INFO

– Thank you for your patience as we’ve been working on main updates/skeletons and this plot drop!

– Due to the delay, we’re backlogging this plot drop’s events as taking place in-game between JUNE 18 – JUNE 22. So the mist descended on Neverland/Wonderland/Downtown on June 18th and Elizabeth & Lucy’s bodies were recovered June 22nd.

We’re also giving a unique opportunity in that if you would like your character to have known either Elizabeth or Lucy in a close capacity (so they’d be impacted by their deaths), please message us on the main. This will be on a first-come, first-serve basis!

– The mist pattern was noticed around JUNE 25/26 and most of the town has been advised of the coming/going of the mist by JUNE 29 – PRESENT.

– The mist is lighter between the following times, during which people can travel between places and also get supplies to stay inside. Please note these times aren’t exact, so your character should be aware and should still exercise caution.

3am – 5am

9am – 11am

2pm – 4pm

10pm –12am

– If it is not during one of these times, characters should have full protective gear (they can obtain this through theft, through illegal dealings perhaps or because of occupational benefits/having the money to buy them). If they don’t have this specific gear, characters can try to go out with other protective coverings (goggles/masks/etc) but will likely suffer some range of symptoms. Symptoms from being in the mist for too long vary but they range from minor to severe:

MINOR

Light dizziness

Blurry Vision

Light Cough

MEDIUM

Sudden Migraine

Minor Hallucinations – see shapes in the distance/maybe figures, a blink-and-it’s-gone sensation

Coughing

Sore throat

Light tremors Stumbling

SEVERE

Wheezing/ Difficulty breathing (think akin to asthma attack)

Burning feeling in the nose/throat

Full on body-tremors

Vertigo

Severe Hallucinations – shapes and figures, sometimes they think they see people they know/go after them

Vomiting

Seizures

Death

– If your character is caught outside in the mist, they may experience a range of these, but we definitely recommend staying in the minor – medium range before going to the severe which can have long-term side effects. If you would like to go severe, please ask us so we can keep track of how many similar plots we have.

If someone is out for too long in the mist unprotected, the symptoms get worse.

If brought to safety, they may experience these symptoms still but depending on the severity of them, all but the flu-like ones (coughing/achinesse etc) should subside within a few hours.

The flu-like symptoms the hospital has been seeing will last for a few days.

TOWN DETAILS

If characters go out during these times, you can be sure to mention details like the police barricades/presence to keep people from lingering outside.

Restaurants/Grocery Stores may be open with limited staff to accommodate getting people food and supplies with the small windows.

The Hospital is open, staff running on different shifts to make sure people can get home/get to the hospital within the various timeframes of lighter mist.

The Sherwood Hotel has offered discounted rates to help the community, so if people have been fully displaced/do not have secure homes (ie: homes with construction on them, homes with shoddy window work, etc, that is also an option).

The police and Mayor suggest that everyone board up and tape up their windows. Tape/wood/supplies like that are a bit of a commodity right now because of it.

– We will be doing partner threads that will run the course of about 2 weeks (to give time for replies/not to put too much pressure on anyone but still allow for progress to be made). With all this in mind, if you have a character you did not include on the survey, or were not able to fill out the survey, that’s okay! We have one last opportunity, from right now until Sunday evening, so feel free to message the main if you want to be involved. We’ll be releasing the partner threads and more details regarding what they entail tomorrow!

– This is a lot of information to take in, so if you have questions, please let us know via ask or server and we’ll be happy to answer/clarify anything.

#grimm.plotdrop #death tw

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aeptaia · 5 years

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Studying with Chronic Migraines

Chronic migraines are something I've struggled with in my later years of schooling, having manifested around age 15. These migraines make it very difficult to do much of anything, and in the past my work and study habits have suffered because of it. As a result, I've compiled a list of ways to manage your migraines and still get studying done. A small disclaimer, your migraine symptoms may very well not be the same as mine, and as a result, these tips may not work for you.

Preparation

By prepping for your migraines in advance, you can stay on top of work and avoid falling behind. Understanding your triggers allow you to be more precise with timing, and can even help you stop your migraines preemptively.

Set up a study corner. Designate an area of your space for studying, and modify it to reduce strain with your migraines. Find a dark space and set up soft lights (I like to use a salt lamp or fairy lights). Gather up blankets and pillows, and keep a cool washcloth nearby to reduce head or neck pain. Make sure the area is quiet enough to not only allow for concentration, but for pain reduction (I prefer total silence). I’ll also keep my medication nearby in case the pain gets too bad.

Prerecord readings and notes. For my migraines, one of my most common symptoms is visual hallucinations. This means seeing flashes of bright lights, shadows on the edge of my vision, and can often mean being unable to read. In times like these, it’s helpful to listen to my notes or book work rather than read. I’ll take one of my recordings, put in my earbuds, close my eyes, and just listen. If I have the time, I’ll listen two or three times for the sake of retention.

Don’t overload yourself with work. Don’t take more classes than you can handle. If you know your migraines will become a frequent issue, plan your courses accordingly. For example, I’m currently taking five full-semester classes and one five-week course. Of those classes, I have one that requires a heavy workload, one that requires a medium workload, and the rest require very little work outside of class. By taking these classes I’ve created a manageable workload that I can keep up with, even with my migraines.

During

Speak with your professors. By being open with my professors about my migraines, they have helped accommodate me and have been more understanding. For example, at my college we have a strict 2 absences per semester rule. One of my professors has expressed that we’re human, and if there is a real medical issue to just let him know and he’ll be understanding of absences. Another professor (whose daughter also gets migraines) allows me to move to a separate room for testing where the lights are dimmed and it’s a bit quieter.

Don’t be afraid to take breaks. The last thing that’s going to benefit you is pushing yourself too hard and not accomplishing anything. We’re all human, and it’s not healthy for us to give our all 110% of the time, especially when it comes to illness. If you find yourself in too much pain or overwhelmed, take a moment, breathe, take a nap, get a snack, grab a cup of water, and return once you’re doing better.

Remember! You are so much more than your illness. Migraines may serve as an obstacle, but you can overcome them and live your best life. :)

#studyblr #dark academia #student #study tips #migraine #migraine life #studyblr community #college life #note taking #academia

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thefriedbird · 4 years

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Sadly, my chronic pain is in full swing. All from the nape of my neck, to the shoulder blades, to my arms and calves, in my knees, and a migraine. 🤕 Fuck, even my face from the pressure of the migraine hurts. Even slept 10 hours and am still fatigued.

It is not so bad I need my cane to walk, but definitely may need it in the coming moments.

I can say for certain that even though I have a muscle relaxer prescribed to me, it does the bare minimum and only causes me to have an irregular heartbeat. This is definitely a turn in the opposite direction from what I had wanted it to be but shit happens. Hopefully I may be able to get up with a neurologist, if possible due to the global health pandemic. I do see my psychiatrist soon for my psychiatric conditions, which home alone, does make this worse.

Fibro flare ups can be one of the most debilitating thing to ever have happened to me, seconded from the constant panic attacks and flashbacks that cause me to be a major fall risk.

Luckily, this is my first day of three days off. Since I am a full-time college student, now moved to online courses because of the health emergency. So hopefully this flare up does not continue past these days like it is.

I do need to get some house chore stuff done, but this may set me back. 😪

I am very lucky and privileged to have a job in the food industry that keeps me, despite my chronic illness and psychiatric conditions. It has been hard to obtain any disability benefits because of my age, and I need to exhaust all options before it is considered. Which has been rough but I’ve been trying to push through it for years now.

My previous job before this, was not as kind. They had let me go in the height of my psychiatric journey. They feigned understanding what I was going through. Letting me know that it was alright if I had so many appointments in a given month. But let me go, stating that they weren’t sure they believed me, and that despite my qualifications from the community college with ServSafe certification. They stated I was no longer qualified. I disassociated constantly in the midst of food service, this had also been my first job, a sous chef also had the tendency of triggering flashbacks but because I do become selectively mute when panic attacks occur. I was never able to say how apologetic I was, that it happened like it did.

This is the thing.

Psychiatric disorders such as C-PTSD, takes an extensive amount of time to heal. Musculoskeletal disorders like Fibromyalgia, is not curable. As much as I understand that it can be hard for neurotypicals or individuals who may not have chronic illness or psychiatric conditions, to comprehensively understand what we are going through. It is important to take the time to understand those individuals and to accommodate them as seen fit. Because people like myself, who are chronically ill and still work, rely on a income even if the money produced is not great. Because it is harder for younger individuals with chronic illness to obtain any benefits. We are still individuals who need to pay bills, and are trying to get through the day as much as possible.

Which despite the fact that even my current job, is far from being perfect. I am lucky to have it. I may not get all the accomodations I need, I have fought long and hard to educate my employers and let them know what I need to survive this life.

Someone told me recently via comment, that I essentially was entitled and was not trying hard enough despite my immense obstacles, while only being paid my state’s minimum wage. I didn’t reply to them, I simply blocked them and waved goodbye. I won’t ignore the fact that while I may be privileged to have my job, don’t assume that I am not trying hard enough. It took me a year and 6 months of fake smiling, flashback induced panic attacks, and me hitting my head on the floor of my job to get me where I am now. I was solely a worker who just took phones and wrote down orders, never mind the fact that there was always a ‘Karen’ or a “Kyle” who screamed at me, cussed me, berated me, and who later once in the store would treat me like dirt. No person would later realize that I have Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, caused by years of neglect, abandonment, emotional abuse, and disdain and paranoia of confrontation, contact, and aggression. No matter how nicely I treated these customers, it is not rare to have at least a handful of people I can list at the top of my head that caused me to panic. It wasn’t until recently, finally having years of chronic pain answered with a diagnosis of Fibromyalgia, written notes to my boss about the months that have taken a psychological and physiological turn for the worse, and boom! I finally being able to do mostly cooking at the restaurant.

Don’t ever say to me or anybody else who has suffered from chronic illness who happen to be working, those with illness that may not be working but rely on a check that barely helps, or anybody suffering through hardships at their jobs period. That they are not trying.

Because I believe that all of us who suffer from these long chronic conditions that we are trying, we are doing our best, that they deserve to be believed in, that they deserve to have the quality of life that brings a smile to their faces and for a moment. That despite all of the pain they may be pushed through, they know that they are doing enough.

That is my TEDtalk.

-FriedBird 🍗🦜

#spooniepower #spoons #spoonie #chronic pain #fibromyalgia #ptsd #working while chronically ill #chronic illness #chronic fatigue #migraine #fibrolife #fibroflare #you deserve to be alive #you deserve it #you deserved so much more #you deserve to be happy #never let anyone tell you different #i did have a panic attack early today #Im chilling kn a bath tub in pain and tired

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canyouhearthelight · 5 years

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The Miys, Ch. 28

At this point, I am dying to hear any theories about who is behind the sabotage, the spiked food, everything. Some people have already come to me with theories, and I’ve outright denied a few but cannot confirm or deny any others... after all, that would give away the game, right?

Six hours later, I was reviewing the lunch menu Arantxa put together for the next day, but my mind was completely somewhere else. I had gotten permission from Xiomara to give the almost full, mostly unadulterated truth to the entire ship; while she acknowledged it would have an impact on the investigation, the greater concern was the possibility for wild speculation once word inevitably leaked from those on Level One when speaking to their loved ones. As the adage went “Three can keep a secret if two of them are dead,” and we had right at one hundred people on Level One. In the end, the identities of the suspects already in custody was the only thing we kept back.

I was startled as a hand waved between my face and my data screen. “Sophia? Are you okay? You’ve been staring at the same thing for five minutes. I admit to being a fan of spanakopita, but it isn’t that interesting,” Arantxa asked, concerned.

Shaking my head to clear it, I noticed my sister had left without my even noticing. “Where’d Tyche go?” I asked instead of responding.

“She went to check on our boys and get some food. You didn’t answer her when she asked what you wanted, so she said she would just bring something back for you. What’s wrong?” she insisted.

“Everything’s just kind of getting to me,” I admitted. “I’m disturbed by the idea that someone would sabotage us, let alone the fact that they kept up after the initial attempt failed. We’re basically all that’s left of the human race; Simon and Miys as much as told me that when I first woke up here. Those still on Earth won’t survive more than a couple more generations.”

“We got lucky,” she urged softly, patting my arm. “No one could have anticipated that we would have so many pilots on board, much less one certified to for interstellar flight.”

“Thankfully,” I admitted. “The only people who really had access to that were myself, you, Tyche, and Grey, apparently. And I know I certainly never checked it. Why would I? Miys had the flight under control, and at light speed everything is basically on autopilot.” I flicked my wrist, giving up on the menu and dismissing my data screen before tapping the tabletop. “The pilots are another thing. Forty reported out of fifty-three. Xiomara let me know that one has an unshakeable alibi, but that still leaves twelve who are suspects. The motive couldn’t be to put our pilots in the spotlight, because none of them showed up to when asked to report.”

“Maybe they were sabotaged, too?” she suggested. “By one or more of the pilots who did report?”

I shook my head. “I’m not a cop by any means, but that doesn’t even make sense to me. If they were trying to highlight Terran pilots as superior, why drug everyone? The only pilot who wasn’t affected was Maverick, but it was because he has severe, documented food aversions, even back on Earth. On top of that, he is the first to admit he can’t fly this alone, even as the most qualified.”

“I know you trust him, but something still doesn’t feel right,” she replied. “If you trust him, I’ll trust you. But it is too coincidental for me, I’m sorry.”

I really could not blame her for being suspicious. Then again, as far as I was aware, everyone was a suspect. Xiomara was being close-lipped about the entire thing, to the point of near-hostility if you did not know she was on edge. Part of me could sympathize: migraines don’t just vanish because you figure out the source, and seven hours was nowhere near enough time to let the medicine fade from our systems. We were both still limping along on analgesics and coffee, while avoiding each other as much as possible so our tentative friendship would not suffer from our shortened tempers.

“Cheer me up,” I sighed. “Tell me you have updates from outside? I haven’t been able to bring myself to contact anyone with this,” I gestured vaguely at my head. “Plus, my glasses are in my quarters, so there’s only so much screen time I can handle.”

She broke into a grin. “I talked to Conor last night! We rescheduled our date, and he told me that Huynh made him point on the diving and research platforms. It turns out that all that time he spends in the aeroponics lab has engendered good will with the technicians and researchers. They requested him, specifically.”

“Good for him!” I cried, immediately shooting a hand up to my head in regret. “Dammit,” I muttered. “This profoundly sucks. I can’t even be excited for my friends. Still, I’m happy for him and glad you two were able to reschedule your date. He does know it’s a date, right?”

“Yes, finally,” she groaned. “I was very specific to ask if we could reschedule our date due to the circumstances. He was flustered, but he did say that he would gladly go on a date with me anytime once all this is over.”

“Whoo!” I whispered, trying not to set off room-spins again. “That’s so amazing. I’m so happy for you two!”

After some good-natured ribbing, we both got back to work finalizing the menu for the next day so that would be out of the way. Arantxa quickly picked up the concept of choosing themes that revolved around non-cultural ideas when looking for crowd-pleasers, along with when to break the rules – dietary restrictions, foods that didn’t match the theme but everyone liked and wouldn’t care, etc. Lunch ended up being multicultural flatbreads and fillings, somewhat matching breakfast. Small finger foods and sweets for a ‘brunch’ snack and for afternoon ‘tea’, rounded out by a dinner of pasta dishes, soups, and salads.

As we were arguing the finer points of a Niçoise – she preferred it with salmon, I insisted it needed anchovies – Grey sat down and looked between us curiously. “Is it so important which fish is on this salad?” they asked curiously, blinking in an effort to focus.

The two of us who had just been arguing looked at each other and started giggling. “No not really,” I explained. “Traditionally, it should have anchovies. However, it’s really common for people to not like anchovies, so other fish does get substituted often. Really, we could just put the fish on the side and let people choose, so let’s do that,” I suggested, to which Arantxa nodded, still giggling. Turning back to Grey, I asked “What’s up, Grey?”

“I merely wanted to check on how everyone is handling the recent revelation,” they stated in their usual, overly-formal way.

“It’s good to know you care,” I smiled widely. “I think we’ll be okay, medically. Most of it is just worry regarding who is doing all this. Did you ever get the information on who accessed the consoles to cover up getting into the storage room?”

“I have, but that is all I can tell you,” they confirmed. “The data is under review, and any details will come directly to myself, Pranav, and Xiomara.”

“Even Zach and Derek?” Arantxa asked, brows furrowed. “They’ve been relaying it through me so far, since you three have been so busy, and Derek’s not familiar with any of you.”

“Fortunately for Mr. Khan and Mr. Okafor, they are not needed on this,” Grey advised. “Right now, the people handling the data are reviewing huge access logs and looking for patterns, not something the other two are particularly suited for. But even if they were, we would make accommodations for Mr. Okafor, likely he would simply send the information from his data screen to mine, no personal interaction needed.”

“So, you’re just going to cut them out of all this?” I asked, surprised. “They found the lead in the first place. That’s not really fair.”

“While the concept of ‘fair’ has little to do with the situation, fortunately it is a non-issue. Mr. Okafor, through Mr. Khan, advised he has no desire to, quote, ‘dig for needles in haystacks’, and Mr. Khan voiced a similar preference. Right now, Mr. Okafor would prefer to recuperate from so much time around people, so Councillor Huynh has sectioned off a small corner of one of the sleeping areas for him to have privacy.”

Arantxa still looked indignant, but I could understand completely. After three days of people, I was running on fumes and caffeine myself. “I’ll send him a message to avoid feeding Mac any cheese. The little fluff-nugget cries like he’s dying if he isn’t given any, but it really constipates him something fierce, and Derek always gives in,” I explained. “Maybe I’ll just tell Zach not to give either of them cheese. Derek couldn’t care either way about it. How about the mining mission? Any updates there?”

Grey shook their head. “Not anything substantial. We are in orbit around Meenie, and the first cores have come back. There is a slightly higher ferrous concentration in the rock here, so that indicates positive results, but that is all we have right now.”

“It’s still something,” I reassured them. “Although I do have a question, and you don’t have to answer if it is stupid, but I’m really curious. These core samples – how are we expected to get anything substantial from them? I always thought core samples were really small.”

“The size depends on what you are taking a sample from,” they explained, not unkindly. “For fossils and trees, yes, the core samples are too small to be of much use. However, the samples we are taking are on a scale with old ice cores taken from polar sheets: they are nearly a meter wide and four hundred meters in length.”

I did a rough conversion in my head. “These things are three feet wide and a thousand feet long?” I let out a low whistle. “Okay, question withdrawn, those are huge.”

“Closer to thirteen hundred feet in length, but yes, they are rather substantial,” Grey confirmed. “Very trace amounts of any exotic elements, but substantial amounts of carbon and silica. As I said, Meenie has more iron, and also has more aluminum, but still not in the quantities we would like to see.”

“At least we are finding more iron,” I reassured them. “You were bothered by that on Eenie, so as small of a victory as it is, it still counts.”

“I agree,” they nodded. “We seem to need all the victories we can obtain at the current moment.” Standing, they smoothed their tunic. “I apologize for interrupting your work, and I will let you return to it. Have a good day, ladies.”

After waving goodbye to Grey, I turned back to Arantxa to find her eyebrows were still tight. “Hey, what’s the matter? We got some good news. Granted, it’s a little, but it’s something.”

She turned to me, her face relaxing. “I’m sorry. There is a lot of intrigue going on, and I do not like it,” she sniffed disdainfully before frowning again.

I had to suppress a laugh – Arantxa was one of the most straightforward people I had ever met, so all the secrets would understandably be driving her crazy. Instead, I tried to put her more at ease. “Try to bear in mind: a very important piece of evidence just had to be broadcast to the entire ship, potentially causing a panic. Unfortunately, it was either it come from the Council and assure everyone their loved ones up here are safe and measures are being taken, or let it leak and lead to wildfire speculation. Chances are, they are just trying to be careful with any other information regarding the ongoing search for a saboteur or saboteurs so we don’t teach them to cover their tracks better.”

She groaned and leaned back in her chair, rubbing her face with both hands. “I can understand that, but you are a part of the Council just as much as they are. I do not like that they are keeping information from other Councillors; that is how factions and political parties start.” She moved her hands to give me a pointed look.

“Yeah, I know,” I conceded. “But at the end of the day, there is no professional reason for me to know what is going on. The only reason anyone on the Council is involved is because of a severe oversight in establishing any sort of police force. We, all ten thousand of us, were pretty reckless in believing we would not need one. ‘Best of humanity’ and all that, we never expected to need to enforce peace. Especially not when we were just pulled off a planet that bombed itself back to three hundred years.” I shook my head ruefully at the thought.

“We didn’t bomb ourselves back,” Arantxa pointed out. “A bunch of insane extremists bent on striking against the rich capitalists went too far and took the rest of us along as collateral damage.”

“They were still humans,” I counter-argued. “If we plan on making the most of the chance we are being given to start again, it can’t start with ‘us’ and ‘them’ rhetoric. When I was a little girl, I grew up learning about ‘them’: Nazi Germany, the Spanish Inquisition, Al Qaeda, the Taliban, ISIS. And at the

exact same time

, I had to watch ‘us’ do the

exact same things

to immigrants, to peaceful Muslims, to transgender people. The fact is, the only ‘us’ is humanity, and if

don’t learn from

our

mistakes, we are going to keep making them. We didn’t learn in time to prevent the End of the World, but maybe we can learn that in time to keep from ending ourselves for good.”

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