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#and cope with my own emotions

romulus-tings · 8 months

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alright i’m not saying this to shit on anyone’s ideas or theories because i don’t really fucking care, but me personally,,,,

I HATE THE IDEA THAT THERE IS SOME BIG THEORY OR PLAN OR SOME SHIT BEHIND AZIRAPHALES ACTIONS

LIKE… BRO THEIR WHOLE RELATIONSHIP IS ONE BIG RELIGIOUS TRAUMA/INTERNALIZED HOMOPHOBIA ALLEGORY PLEASE HIW DO YOU NIT SEE THIS

like??? crowley asks too many questions, gets kicked out, realizes who he is, falls in love with the side he’s not supposed to?????? and aziraphale loves him too, but believes he has to be good for god, and he can’t bring himself to admit that he loves crowley because he is taught that it’s wrong????

WHY WOUKD YOU WANT TO PUT THIS OUT IN EXCHANGE FOR A THEORY PLEASE LET ME HAVE MY ANGST WHAT THE FUCK GUYS

i need to see my little gay beings emotionally FUCKED please leave me alone

#good omens spoilers #good omens #good omens season 2 #ineffables #aziracrow #just….lots of thoughts about their relationship #no i definitely don’t have trauma from past relationships #no i am definitely not projecting onto crowley and wanting to see him feel the painful emotions i have felt in order to be able to validate #and cope with my own emotions #that’s ridiculous

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reegis · 2 months

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What do you think is Johnnys (devil not the writers) reasoning for loathing Orpheus so much? It just feels so strong yet I can't pin down an exact reasoning

I feel like narratively Jonny and Orpheus are complete opposites;

Jonny’s whole persona is openly, aggressively (& frequently homicidally) detached from any sort of sentimentality. Has to kill his dad? who cares, he totally wasn’t effected by that. Doc is gone? couldn’t give less of a shit, no emotional turmoil there. All of the people he’s lost, and the painful deaths he’s suffered over uncountable centuries as an immortal? dust in the wind, couldn’t matter less.

Meanwhile Orpheus is sentimental to the point of being boarderline useless without his lady love. He tried Absolutely EVERYTHING to reach her again, from requesting to speak to her mind in the achaeron, to unsuccessfully attempting unaliving himself, to stockpiling HIGHLY ILLEGAL BRAIN MELTING ACID as a backup plan, and then eventually asking Hades for help and joining the UDAD plot as we know it. He’s a loverboy through and through and wears his heart on his sleeve.

To me i think that Jonny is, at heart (lmao ironic), much more similar to Orpheus than he would like any of us to believe- and there are definitely moments where I personally feel that you can see glimpses of that. but he has spent eons creating this untouchable, unaffected “captain” persona (that absolutely None of the mechs are buying btw but he is trying so lets all give him some points for effort) and seeing someone living that life so openly and authentically without any subterfuge is bound to strike a nerve.

#the mechanisms #jonny d’ville #udad #disclaimer i am 100% talking out of my ass #and maybe projecting #tldr jonny cant cope with anyone experiencing genuine emotions bc he cant cope w his own #in my onion #asks

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markantonys · 17 days

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i have spilled so much ink about gawyn but really i only need 2 passages to explain why he is Like That

1. My blood shed before hers; my life given before hers...That was the oath he had taken when barely tall enough to peer into Elayne's cradle. ... Gareth Bryne had had to explain to him what it meant, but even then he had known he had to keep that oath if he failed at everything else in his life. (LOC prologue)

2. From Morgase, Queen of Andor, to her beloved son, Gawyn. May he be a living sword for his sister and Andor. (ACOS prologue)

like yeah, no wonder he does what he does in AMOL. people will be like "gawyn is so stupid for not thinking about the fact that his death would hurt egwene" as if he's being maliciously stupid and careless, when in fact, he has such little self-worth that he genuinely does not consider himself a valuable human being whose loss would impact anyone or anything. his life given before hers. a living sword. this has been his mindset since toddlerhood and nobody ever noticed it enough to try and counteract it. gawyn is exactly what rand would have been like at the last battle if he hadn't had a mental health intervention.

#SAD ABOUT GAWYN HOURS #god i would die if the show portrayed the oath-swearing onscreen as a flashback cold open. it is THE formative event for his character!!#gawyn trakand #wot #wot book spoilers #gawynposting #gawyn and rand really are foils in so many ways #the way they are objectified and viewed as weapons (by themselves as well as by others)#but gawyn has been raised that way since birth whereas it's a new thing for rand #so rand has childhood friends & family & memories to remind him that he IS a person. gawyn doesn't.#his own mother taught him to view himself as a sword for others' use (but she wasn't being malicious that's just what being a royal is)#and then if you look at some of gawyn's behavior it's SO similar to how rand behaves #what really struck me is during the coup when gawyn shuts down and becomes very cold and emotionless #and min and readers are like 'oh my god he's a sociopath'#but he's actually deeply traumatized and shutting off emotions as a coping mechanism as we've seen rand do COUNTLESS times #but we're in rand's head and we're not in gawyn's so we have more sympathy and understanding for rand #'how can the other characters who don't have the benefit of seeing inside rand's head misinterpret his trauma behavior as assholery?'#well

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ladynicte · 5 months

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I wonder if the detail of Julia asking Andrew to "Please don't get mad" is meant to show Julia's sorta mellow nature exclusively, or if it's also meant to show that maybe Andrew, who's usually always masking, even when around Ashley, sometimes slips and showcases emotions he doesn't really mean to.

Either way, this is all to say Autistic Andrew who sucks at knowing when he's coming off as angry, or cold, or excited, or normal, because expressing yourself in any way neurotypicals understand is way too difficult

#i do have like a greater analysis about Andrew through an autistic framework just kinda sucking at reading and expressing his own emotions #and having no clue how to cope with his highly muted but existant guilt and shame but this one is just me going my blorbo is just like me fr #the coffin of andy and leyley #andrew graves #ashley graves #julia #andrew is autistic coded to me okay im speaking my truth #luna's headcanons

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feverflushed · 2 months

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Whumpee had some kind of brutal surgery, and has been surviving on nothing but water and IVs for days.

They're so so hungry but they're not allowed to eat yet. The thought of food is plaguing them in their dreams, and when they're awake, their stomach's grumble is a painful reminder that they haven't seen a single crumb of food in four days.

Finally, one day, they see the nurse coming in with a small bowl of soup for them. Whumpee is so relieved and overwhelmed, that they start sobbing. They shakily bring a spoonful to their mouth, immediately getting emotional and teary-eyed again over the delicious taste of soup. Caretaker is sitting nearby, smiling to themselves at their sweet, genuine reaction.

#a bit different from what i usually write #but i'm going to write as many scenarios i can create to cope with my own ✨near d3ath experience ✨#and this was sweet but idk how to tag it lol #tw hospital #tw food #tw food mention #surgery #recovery #injury #sicknario #emotional whump #caretaking

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fiapple · 7 months

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Okay, you know that scene in Catwoman v.1 where Selina begs Maggie to scream, cry, lash out, & curse her rather than turn to a darker version of herself?

I need you to understand that, if it were written with any sense of integrity, that would be the attitude Bruce has towards Jason post-resurrection. At least after becoming privy to the fact that Jason does not personally blame Bruce for his death.

In my opinion, Bruce would sell his arm for a penny on a streetcorner providing it gave Jason non-homicidal means of coping, for Jason to view him as responsible, as a second murderer. For him to curse "hereoism", & vigilantes, & the whole fucking lifestyle- decry it as an unbelievable farce & leave it all behind to go back to being Jason Todd of Crime Alley, who only did what he had to do to survive. Bruce would be so far beyond willing to carry that weight if it meant his boy would be off the track of his homicidally self-destructive rampage. If it meant Jason realizing he is more than just a revenant, that he is alive, that he can have a life.

The only way it makes any sense to me is if Bruce would accept, even embrace a world in which Jason views him as a horrible dad, an irredeemable piece of shit who is directly responsible for his murder, if it just meant that Jason did not have to utterly sacrafice his sense of humanity & compassion to make it through the world. He'd give near anything for it or it makes no sense. That's his son. His son who was dead but is now alive, for all he does not seem to grasp that himself.

Also he should have let Jason pop the clown. Not even for ethical reasons, but in the chase of giving Jason a chance at the realization in the world they do live in where Jason will not allow himself to view Bruce that way. Because he refuses to harm his son, or let him be taken in another explosion. Not when he just got him back, not when his son has not even gotten the chance to truly come back to life.

(I also think it would be a far more interesting jumping-off point post-utrh for Jason, but that's somewhat besides the point.)

#like when it's said bruce should be continually grieving for jason it shouldn't just be for robin jay but a jay who sees his value as a #human being rather than near-nothing more than a symbol of violent retribution.#and i stand by that.#but yeah this is also why i think the idea of Leslie being majorly involved in Jason's immediate post utrh arc would have been genius.#like she is literally the epitome of “i am going to critique vigilantism both politically & as a coping mechansim” in the bat mythos & more #over she would be Jason's ideological diometric opposite at that point as a pacifist & they have a history together meaning it would not #only be some who witnessed the climate of Gotham in the aftermath of his death but also someone who knew HIM before it. & like positioning #them as not neccessarily opposing sides while still being in conflict at first only for that to lead to development over time as jason heal #& WITH HER CONNECTION TO THE GOTHAM WORKING CLASS TO TOP IT OFF... we were robbed.#it also fits with my personal heavy insistence that Jason's healing arc have nothing to do with Bruce for like... a solid couple in-univers #years. it's important for jason to heal with agency & his own ideological growth & emotional reconciling.#bruce wayne #bruce & jason #dc #dc comics #jason todd #dc meta #batman meta #red hood

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cherry-pop-elf · 5 days

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Hoof Race

Fred Weasley x Reader x George Weasley

Can be read as platonic

I’m going through ALOT because of a dickwad of a piano teacher. So imma just project and vent here. I love piano, but I don’t love the piano teacher. My own personal Umbridge. Bleck. So it’s gonna be sloppily written, projective, just. I’m going through a lot right now. A lot a lot.

Summary: Your first detention with Umbridge. Needless to say, very traumatizing. At least you have a pair of red heads to comfort you. Along with formed an escape plan to get you out of there. With some help

Warnings: Umbridge, scars, blood, depression, anxiety, stress, crying, trauma, Umbridge being Umbridge. Physical Violence against Reader from Umbridge, Humanism(Racism against other species) Surprise Guest Appearance for the Book Lovers from one of our favorite Divination Teachers

“Where is our little lab rat?” Fred huffed, as he was looking around for you. With George trailing behind. Looking in all the directions that Fred wasn’t looking. You had promised to meet them at Hagrid’s to test out a new product to help with calming animals. Something that was more so a Comission’s for Hagrid than anything else. Would be a nice little treat. Tea, fang, and laughter. Just one problem. Where are you?

“Should have never given Harry that map.” George would grumble, as he was getting worried now. Where were you? You aren’t one to break a promise. Especially to miss out on hanging with Hagrid. Who wants to purposely avoid a cozy evening with him? Especially since the twins had hoards of candy to share. If you missed a treat like that, it has to be beyond your control.

“Checked the dorm, checked Myrtle, checked the Requirement’s, checked the green house-“ The twins would finish each others sentences, as they walked. Trying so hard to think of where you could be. That’s when they stopped infront of the Defense Room Doors. They were open, but the office door was closed. They slowly looked to each other, before bolting inside.

“But Miss Umbridge, it hurts-!” They heard you shout, now that they were pressing their ears to the door. “It’s not suppose to feel good, darling. I should have expected such idiocy from someone who found it wise to speak out of turn-“ Umbridge would huff, as her heels could be heard pacing. A mixture of sharp clicks, and your hiccups.

“Mr. Firenze is not a THING-!” You snapped, only for a sharp smack to echo in the room. Made the twins wince, as you hiccuped again. “That beast is indeed that. Why defend that vile creature, when it even identifies itself as a beast-? Hm? Shouldn’t expect much from an idiotic child like yourself.” She lectured on.

“What do we do?” George whispered to Fred. What could they do? She was still a professor after all. Regardless, they had to do something. Anything. SOMETHING. They had to think fast, before you got even more hurt. Or worse. Expelled.

“Twins-?” A voice called itself, making the duo look over. The familiar blonde hair, and clips of hoof steps, made it clear who it was. Their newest teacher, given Umbridge very literally fired their old one. What a god send, as the twins were able to hatch a plan.

“Please please-“ They made praying hand gestures, as they pointed at her door. Making dramatic movements to try and convey they needed a distraction. Not wanting to get detention next. Never thought detention could be worse than anything Snape could offer.

The echo of another slap was what made the ever calm teacher connect the dots. Oh how he dispised such treatment. It was inhuman. That’s saying something from a man who used to live with trantulas the size of buildings. He would quickly motion for the red heads to quickly go hide under the stairs, before he cleared his throat.

“Mistress Umbridge? I need to speak with you about a matter at hand-!” He called, with a hoof stomp for added volume. The duo was quick to run under the stairs, and narrowly miss her gaze. An ever-plastered fake smile was on her lips, as she would walk down the stairs. A twitch to her eye was given, as she was now forced to speak to the centaur.

"Yes, Firenze? Whatever could you need at this late hour?" She asked, while the twins were quick to rush into the classroom. Left quite a sight. There you were, with bloody hands. To bloody to even make out what scars she had to make your write this time. Along with a firm bruise on your cheek, from her had no less. They were enraged, to put it lightly. This was the last time she would ever do this. That was their promise.

They were quick to your side, as you wrapped your arms around them. Your savior. "She just kept insulting him, and it wasn't right. He's a good teacher-" You would sniffle, as George would use his wand to try and clean your hands. He sneered at the words on your skin. Busy with tending to your immediate wounds, as Fred tried to calm you down and explain the plan.

"WAIT WAIT-I UH-I AM JUST A CENATUR! A WITCH LIKE YOURSELF KNOWS MORE THE I!" Firenze shouted, making the twins realize their time was running out. "Just be quiet, and follow our lead-" Fred just said, and you listened. Typical behavior, after all. They were always scheming, and you were happy to get into any mess they offered.

"Well....You are just a centaur. You aren't modern, or cultured, such as myself. I suppose i can remind you how we properly function here." Umbridge would smugly say, as Firenze tried so hard to not roll his eyes. Was worth it, as he was able to watch you be escorted back under the stairs. That firey red hair hidden away. Just in time, because even his calm soul can only take so much.

"Oh dear, Mar's is infront of Saturn. You know what that means, I better return to my classroom-!” She had no idea what that meant, no one did since it was a big lie. Least it sounded good enough to make her scoff. Feeling as though she wasted her time with him. Regardless, she gave a friendly smile. Now walking back towards her office.

The second her back was turned, the blonde stallion quickly motioned for the three of you to hurry to him. Fred and George basically carried you, as they did. Needing to work fast. Was just yanked around like a doll, but there was no choice. The moment Umbridge had gasped, noticing you were gone, you three were on his back.

“Where did-“ But it was faded, as you three were not having a horse ride of your life. Escaping her, this night. Quite the adrenaline rush. Riding the back of your teacher, as he tried to not trip down the stairs. Least you had Fred and George to comfort you. Holding on to the straps on their teachers body, for his supplies, and comforting you.

“Well clean you up, and make sure that this is the last time she ever hurts anyone.” Fred said, with a firm nod. You never thought the twins could look so angry before. Was scary, but also a morbid reassurance. Given Umbridge’s gaslighting was getting to you. Thinking you were a burden, failure, worthless, just horrible. Didn’t even noticed you were starting to cry. It was all too much. The boys would hold you close, and just hold.

“Dreadful woman. Dreadful dreadful just oh so dreadful-“ Firenze would keep on muttering, as he tried to not break an ankle on those ever moving stairs. Full of much spite as anyone else. Suppose that meant the twins had someone on their side, at least.

“You are gonna crash with us tonight.” Fred said to you, as Firenze took that as advice on where to go. Now heading to the Gryffindor common room. “Think of it as a big sleep over. Chilling in the common room’s living space.” George echoed. Childish, but there is joy in childhood. Had you smile in approval.

“Here, allow me to offer some assistance.” Firenze then spoke, as he rummaged in his bag. Still trotting along, as it was just a hallway roam now.

“This should help with your healing and recovery. Sometimes spells can not solve all problems.” And a small bag was offered to you three. Most likely a herbal of some kind. The kind textures were very reassuring. A reminder you weren’t crazy. That she was in the wrong. Not you. Still, made you tremble in fear.

“Gonna be ok. She’s not gonna hurt you anymore.” Fred reassured, with a kiss to your head. Followed by George hugging you tightly. Just helping ground you, as the centaur finally stopped at the painting. She didn’t even ask for the password. As if she wanted to delay much needed rest.

“Rest, if you can. When you join me for our class, tomorrow, you are permitted to not join. You may just relax, and star gaze. That often times relaxes myself.” Firenze offered, as he laid down at the open wall. Allowing you three to get off. He understood you were a victim, and offered sanctuary where he could.

“Thanks…” You sniffled, as to not be rude. He knows, he knows. He gave you a pat on your head, and a smile, before taking his escort away. Leaving you three with your thoughts. The twins mostly thought of how to make whatever happens to Umbridge look like an accident, while you were still shaking from the ordeal. Murder plots can be for another time. You were first.

Escorted to the common room couch, you were as pampered as you could be. Hands properly wrapped, the herbal deal brewed, helping clean up the blood stains, using their latest invention to help clean up your bruise. Just doing what they could, as you sniffled and hiccuped.

Once done, you were soon lying against Fred. With George semi on top of you. As if some kind of pressure therapy. A means to make sure no one could touch you, or sneak up on you. Was nice. What was nicer was the random fellow classmates who walked around. May it to get something to drink, unable to sleep, what have you.

They took notice of you, could quickly grasp it was Umbridge, and let you have your comfort. May it be making sure you three had a blanket, staying extra quiet to not disturb you, or asking if you needed anything. Just some humanity against the darkness.

The comfort of the twins, the easing calm of the tea, and the sound of the ever lit fireplace. It helped you come back to earth again. Just what you needed. Reassurance that you were the victim. Not the other way around. Just deep breaths of fire, cinnamon, and gun powder.

You’ll be ok. You’ll be ok, and the twins promised.

As if they ever would break a promise.

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i3utterflyeffect · 2 months

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Dark: friendship ended with Chosen now victim is my new bestie!

victim: ...sure/lie

YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

it's only made worse by the fact that like. i imagine victim is incredibly annoyed in particular by anyone who'd actively try to befriend them or be buddy-buddy with them, which completely conflicts with Dark mischievous friendliness that they usually had with Chosen-- and it's not like Dark is very willing to change the way they act--

i mean, a few of the mercs might talk to Dark but it's not the same as having Chosen... not to mention that it'd probably be only one out of the entire group that'd be able to stand Dark's particular personality--

#tommy's stickmen tag #the only person i think victim would even remotely consider a friend is agent who is basically the opposite of dark #so they're just kind of left to cope on their own. which is bad bc chosen is most of their emotional control #and they're lonely and feel betrayed and are scared that they'll never recover and they're just very emotionally tangled #...the one merc is ballista if that's not obvious. lmao #i felt like i was forgetting one of the mercs but then i realized i was thinking of king merc. smh. altering my own brain with aus #...although. hm. <- definitely not pondering the combo

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