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#and if you don’t like dream that’s whatever but to savagely go after someone appearance which is smth they can target change is like
cupidlakes · 2 years
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tiktok commentating on dreams face reveal is so weird like “FANS are very disappointed in dreams face reveal” oh we’re calling them fans now ? 😭 why do you ppl like to twist everything do you have a functioning brain
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mikesavagenewcanaan · 2 years
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Mike Savage New Canaan What Bad Economy? Muscle Cars Still Sell Like Hotcakes!
Now that the first round of January 2010 auctions are behind us it's time to take a guess at what 2010 will hold for the world of classic muscle cars......and my guess is that it's going to be a great year! It's been said that regardless of what happens in the economy, toys will always sell (like airplanes, yachts, and apparently muscle cars)!
Even horrendous weather didn't stop Barrett Jackson from moving $68 Million dollars worth of inventory through their auction last week, which was 11% up from 2009. More telling than that even was the fact that 40 % of the bidders were doing so for the first time ever, and 35% of the sellers were new to Barrett Jackson as well. These statistics are impressive and show that the collector car hobby is as strong as ever, but does it prove muscle cars are the reason? Well......7 of the top 10 sellers at Barrett Jackson were muscle cars! Here is the list of the top 10 priced movers and shakers - and see if you can spot a trend:
1929 Hamilton Metalplane H47 Serial #65 Airplane - $671,000
1964 Shelby Cobra Roadster - $478,500
1963 Shelby Cobra Roadster - $401,500
1935 Cadillac Series 40 Fleetwood Imperial Convertible - $302,500
2011 Ford Mustang Gt Glass Roof Coupe - $300,000
1970 Plymouth Hemi Superbird 2 Door Hardtop - $286,000
1952 Watson Roadster Custom By Blastolene - $280,500
2008 Ford Mustang Fr500s Fastback Racecar - $275,000
1970 Ford Mustang Boss 429 Fastback - $275,000
1967 Ford Mustang Custom Fastback - $253,000
That's right - muscle cars own 70% of the top 10 cars sold! If you dismiss the fact that an airplane was on this list (and no, it wasn't a "muscle airplane"), that means that 7 of the top 9 cars were pure American muscle, and I think that I know why that's the case.
1) Timing
Without question, muscle cars are the hottest segment in the collector car industry right now, and some quick math will show you that the young boys that couldn't afford these cars when they were new are now in their mid 50's to early 60's.....and they have some money to spend. They're going after that dream they always wanted to fulfill! It'd be like asking out your wife again for the first time - only you're 58 and she's 18! Actually, that comparison could lead us down a dangerous road. Moving on.
In the industry of collector cars there appears to be a consistent trend in that the vintage of hot collector cars is generally about 40 years old......but does that mean that the reign of muscle cars will someday end? Maybe, but I don't think so. Keep reading.
2) Style
For whatever reason, 1960's and 70's era muscle cars don't appear to age at all. Model T's look like old cars. Packard's look like old cars. Desoto's look like old cars. Even a '57 Chevy looks older......but a '69 GTO doesn't! Kids today flock to these style of cars just as much as the older crowd does. There is a BIG reason that the 2010 Mustang, Challenger, and Camaro have some familiar lines, and it's no coincidence that the fast car in the latest block buster movie was made in 1967, not 2007.
Mike Savage New Canaan
3) Customization
The aftermarket has never been hotter than it is right now creating parts to make old muscle cars just as fast - and comfortable - as new ones....but without giving up the style. Crate engines, brakes, suspension, R-134 air-conditioning, overdrive paddle-shifted automatic transmissions.....it's all there, and people are buying it up like crazy. Many people have wondered how quickly the world of combustion engine cars would come to an end if in the next 10 years we moved from fossil fuels to something else....but I'm guessing that where there's a will, there's a way. Someone, somewhere will come up with a way to run a big block Ford on cow manure, if that's what it takes. I guarantee it.
Here's to a bright future....and let's hope that it's cow manure free under the hood.
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dropsofletters · 3 years
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runaway silhouette [jjh]
—summary: no one asks about that polaroid picture of a woman yoonoh keeps in the depths of his wallet.
lace, measurements, models—jung yoonoh has worked for the world of fashion for a little too long, but he’s as unknown as the person next door. with his inspiration dying down and his designs getting cheaper by the day, yoonoh has changed his ways. no longer is he the best lingerie designer in ‘silhouette’, the company he works for, neither is he the playboy he used to be and the dulcet-mouthed man that got his way through success.
bad luck has settled in his life, much like it has done on hers. the manager of a hotel that slipped his fingertips when one night she denied him all—the world, her hold, her smile, and just left him with a picture on his wallet.
only when he has to prepare one of the biggest fashion showcases of his life does he meet her again, and he realizes things could never be easy between them.
why is he, a man of fashion, infatuated with such a lovesick, monotone, blazer-sporting hotel manager? no one will ever know.
a runaway has captured him, and he’s not sure how to get his heart back.
maybe, he should start by forgetting that night.
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—title: runaway silhouette  —pairing: jung yoonoh x reader  —genre: lingerie designer!au ; hotel manager!au ; strangers to lovers to enemies!au ; slowburn!au ; slice of life!au  —type: fluff ; angst ; humor ; drama ; suggestive —word count: 19,326 (i said slowburn and i meant it) —warnings: mentions of sex (the act is never on paper or narrative)
Jung Yoonoh is dressed to succeed.
With folded white sleeves and a black vest that becomes a second skin, he merges into the office like it belongs to him. It might, at some point in time; an associate after a few years and then, onto another business that was his own—vision, designs, everything. That’s the plan. His suitcase hangs, paces back and forth in the hook of his fist while all eyes cast on him while walking through the cubicles.
Today, Yoonoh is becoming the one in charge.
Silhouette is the lingerie line everyone wants to have cladding their skin. Expensive, intricate and elegant. It’s one of those things people put on when they need to feel their best while also being comfortable. Garments that enamor the buyer and the people who see them. His home for the past two years, Yoonoh has broken his ass to get to the manager position in the design department.
When settling his suitcase on his cubicle, he shares a smile with his neighbor. Johnny, part of the social media team, with his long-curled hair framing his rounded face. Fixing the collar of his shirt, Johnny interrupts him to say.
“Big day today, aye?”
Redemption, he likes to call this day. The payment for the parties he didn’t go to and the obnoxious nagging he stood from his boss, Mrs. Kang. This tall woman with atrocious so-last-season fluffed out coats in bright pink who screams at the mere sight of beige underwear. As she says, it’s tacky and simple, the kind of clothing you’d want to wear when un-turning someone on.
Yoonoh can’t wait until he can make decisions, organize collections, make bigger and better options for Silhouette to expand.
“You see, John, once I become your boss…I’m making you the leader of the PR and Social Media Team.” This place is a nest of snakes. One bite on his first day and he already became smarter. “Can’t be trusting anyone else with these babies.” With that, he opens his suitcase, sketchbook pressed to his chest just as Johnny claps his hands.
“Better position means better salary.” Johnny conquers, as casual as ever in his baby blue sweater
There are a few rules to Silhouette. To any workplace, really, and Yoonoh thinks about this just as he swings his long legs with Johnny following after him like a dog and his tail.
He had written them down in a portion of his brain that keeps his coffee order and his mom’s birthday. He’ll never forget them.
1)     Never trust nobody—never say where you come from in business, where you’re headed, what your dreams and aspirations are. Copycats exist everywhere, and they’ll do anything to follow your track if you’re doing good.
2)    Say goodbye to friendships but hello to hypocrisy. A smile is needed, but is it real? Not at all.
3)    Differentiate your works from others. Being special is the only way you’ll stand out.
One push of the door spreads a smile on his face, brown hair pushed back to showcase his plush, rosy lips and his gleaming eyes. What’s rule number four, you may ask?
Don’t let them see how tired you are.
Mrs. Kang sits at the very end of the meeting table. Always early, never late. Her face is dense with makeup, each wrinkle becoming more apparent as she applies a third layer of bright pink lipstick. Yoonoh knows Mrs. Kang has been the biggest dictator of all—giving him more work hours, destroying the designs she didn’t like from him, and making him get jittery fingers from how much he had to sew and unsew with the sewing machine to show her what his mind had captured. Now that she had found a way younger boyfriend that is eager to give a trip to the entirety of Asia, he’s over the moon.
Because that means old and grumpy Mrs. Kang will be gone for a while, and whoever becomes manager will be, then, the one in charge.
“Mrs. Kang!” Yoonoh greets in a tone that is much too faux, his dimple becoming apparent by the second. The woman looks up and away from her compact, stopping the conversation he is having with his biggest rival in the office. Not worth even thinking about. “Classic always goes best. You look beautiful today.”
She can barely even move her features in a smile. That’s how obstinate this woman is, but one of her wrinkly hands comes up to hold Yoonoh’s bicep when he leans down to press two kisses on each of her cheeks. The old European greeting. “I know, Yoonoh.” She adds, extending her hand towards him. “May you show me your designs? I got here earlier than expected and I have something to do right now so—”
That makes Yoonoh’s smile falter the slightest, just as he opens his sketchbook and splays it in front of Mrs. Kang. “Well, Mrs. Kang, if you let me have a few of your minutes, I prepared a PowerPoint presentation and a video for the collection I have in mind as my desire to become head of the designing team—”
“Silence, Yoonoh.” Mrs. Kang interrupts, going through his lingerie designs for both men and women. It’s not the kind of job people think about when designing, but there is something about seduction and comfort that just works well for him. “I’m in the midst of planning my engagement and I don’t have the time for whatever extra thing you have in mind.”
The room is silent, but if features could talk, the woman seated next to Mrs. Kang would have burst out in laughter. Siyeon is a 4’11 piece of shit that dared steal one of his designs when in his beginnings in Silhouette.  A fuchsia baby-doll that turned viral in the blink of an eye once it appeared in runways. Comfortable, sexy, with the right number of straps and the comfort of wearing it at any occasion, companion or not.
Yoonoh had left his sketch at his desk, only to find it gone the next morning. Mrs. Kang was over the moon, both from the money she got and about the audacity of the design. Siyeon had turned it in as hers.
No wonder her husband doesn’t stand her. She’s the devil reincarnate, and slips in Johnny’s DM’s every once in a while.
Yoonoh can’t say he doesn’t have some screenshots saved on his phone just in case he needs to blackmail her. This is the kind of man he has become.
“Done before.” Mrs. Kang flips onto another one of his designs. “Done before.” And then, she continues with the rest. “Vulgar. Boring. Ugly. Done before. Jesus, Yoonoh, did you even try to do anything?”
Yoonoh is used to praise. He has got it from women, throughout his time in college and even at his previous jobs. As an intern, he was refreshing and a nice sight in the designer area. Now, he is the floor Mrs. Kang steps on with her Louis Vuitton’s.
“I—” The meeting room is silent, everyone in the designer team trying to peek at his sketches. A short laugh leaves his lips, though awkward in tone. “We’ll compete against brands like Savage with designs like this. They’re brave and fitted and—”
“Boring.” Mrs. Kang completes, and Siyeon actually laughs at that moment, playing with one of her curled bright red strands of hair. “Yoonoh, I’m being serious. If the women you’re sleeping with are wearing lingerie like this…I’m worried about your sexual health.”
More laughter, and his jaw finally tightens. He tries to tell himself to smile, but he doesn’t, instead, snatching the sketchbook from her.
Mrs. Kang notices this, pushing her reading glasses down her nose before sighing. “Yoonoh, you need to learn how to take constructive criticism. You’re not perfect and I’m here to make you grow.” Says the woman that steps on him each time she can. At this point, he’s practically plastered on the floor. “I’m sure you’ll get to divert these boring ideas into something creative once Siyeon becomes the head of the department. You two have been so close since the beginning and I am sure she will work magic on you.”
“No.” Yoonoh shakes his head just as he plasters a faux smile on his features. “Ah, I—Well, I won’t—”
Siyeon stands up from her seat, fixing the sleeves of her white dress before clearing her throat. “I’m glad of getting the position and being the one, remotely, in charge of Silhouette as Mrs. Kang goes find true love.” This is not happening. Yoonoh rubs at his eyes in case he is dreaming. He has been preparing for this presentation for five months— “All I have to say is…I wouldn’t have been able to do this without the support of everyone here. My team. My heart. I have grown to have a family with you, not because we’re perfect, but because we’re together and…of course, it’s nice to continue down this path.” She hums. “A woman in charge and then, another woman. Isn’t that the whole point of Silhouette?”
His tongue scalds his palette when he takes a seat next to Mrs. Kang, closing his sketchbook with a harsh slap of his hand. Siyeon’s eyes connect to his own, fluttering her dense mascara-coated lashes before sighing.
“I had the pleasure of seeing Yoonoh in his first few days here and he has lost that spark, but I’m sure we’ll find it again.” Oh, everyone gets roses but he gets a few, too. For his social funeral, that is. He really wants to get out of there as soon as possible. “I’m thankful.”
There go the tears, and Siyeon covering her face with her hand, a smile hidden behind the action.
…Has he ever said he hates working in Silhouette?
“You’re going to make me cry, too.” One of the members of the manufacturing team says in between big sobs and Yoonoh can’t help but roll his eyes.
Fuck this place.
After an elongated meeting with tearful hugs and looks thrown his way, Yoonoh is ready to find somewhere else to work in. Keep to himself until he dares get his curriculum somewhere else and stab this company straight in the back. Not because he didn’t get the job…but…
Let’s be honest, it’s because he didn’t get the job and he lost it to Siyeon.
Johnny slips around a few hours later with some cheeseburgers in a plastic bag, dense in cheese and stinking the two conjoined cubicles before he says:
“She’s the devil.”
“An exorcism wouldn’t be enough for her.” Yoonoh replies, tongue itching to say something when he unleashes the cheeseburgers from their confines. He’s only five minutes away from lunchtime, after all. “I can’t believe they gave it to her. Her designs are…I don’t know, like lace over lace. That’s not elegant, that’s not what Silhouette stands for—”
“Here’s the thing,” Johnny says, smacking his lips as he speaks with a mouthful of burger in his mouth. “You never had a chance.”
A pang rests in the pit of his heart when he scoffs. “Yes, I did.”
“No, you don’t.” His friend replies. “Everyone in this office hates you but me. I believe it is a Freudian theory. The Jung Yoonoh Effect.” Voiced out like a movie trailer, Johnny extends one of his hands in the air.
“Sorry for not caring about anything but business. Everyone here are suck-asses and crybabies. Why should I care?”
“Because people feel disconnected to you. They don’t to Siyeon.” Johnny conquers. “The Jung Yoonoh Effect is simple.”
“Stop it. You don’t even know who Freud is.”
“That one psychologist that compared everything to sex. That’s who he is. Hence, why you’re there.”
Yoonoh quirks an eyebrow, playing with a slice of meat that had gotten out of his burger. “What are you even talking about?”
“Interns always thirst over you. At least, five out of every nine people in this office has had a wet dream about you, liked enough of your Instagram pics to look like a freak, or would have your dick in a second if the second step of your effect wouldn’t come around.”
“…I’m not that bad of a guy.”
“But you’re bland. Work. Work. Work.” Johnny moves his hand as if it’s talking. Now he’s playing marionettes. Great. “We’re selling lingerie, and you are always about competition and work. We need you to be passionate.”
“Passionately suck up to people?” Yoonoh shakes his head, huffing in the process. “No thanks, man. I’m not going to lower myself to Siyeon’s standards. Not sure I want to get pink eye from kissing so much ass.”
“Been there, done that.” Johnny sighs, a smile displayed on his features. “I’m just saying, bro. Maybe, change the game—”
Something Yoonoh is…stubborn. He’d die with that title, and it is only enhanced when he feels a long nail tapping on his shoulder, making him turn around. He expects to see one of those interns that try to stumble out words when asking him for his e-mail to send him the summaries or designs they have worked on, but this time around, he is met with Siyeon’s face.
“No eating until lunchtime.” She tuts, shaking her finger in the air.
This means war.
Yoonoh points at the clock on his wrist, showing it to her. Rolex, maybe, he’s spoiling himself with the benefit of showing her he has also earned some money, designs mediocre or not. “It’s already my lunchtime.”
“Not to me.” Siyeon answers, straightening her back. “Maybe, you’d like to listen to me before I kick you out of the team, don’t you, Yoonoh?”
With that, he pushes the burger onto his desk, covering it just as Siyeon smiles.
“Good boy.” She coos, laughing when she turns around and returns to giving a run-around the office.
“That’s it.” Yoonoh whispers, running his hands through his hair, not caring if he messes it up in the process. “I’m designing the best fucking collection one could ever find and showing everyone in this goddamned office that I have talent.”
“Ooh, and where do you think you’ll get inspiration from?” Johnny tries to gossip, and Siyeon’s soft touch for him is shown when she doesn’t even spare him a glance as he munches on his burger.
“I think I have someone in mind.”
###
She’d color-code her life if she could. Hence, it’s still a mess, and while she is as organized as she could be, her mind is still trying to process how to keep the hotel she works in safe and sound and quiet.
One would think that being the manager of a hotel would be easy. A three-star-hotel, no celebrities, no paparazzi’s, definitely not enough rich people who care about their environment. As long as she made it homely, clean, and nice to stay in, it wouldn’t be much of an issue.
The problem is…everything is a mess.
For one, her boss, Sachiko, has not appeared in the last two days into the hotel. None of her well-prepared summaries, in Times New Roman twelve, with enough punctuation to make it look like a contract, have been read. The maids keep talking amongst themselves, gossiping instead of cleaning. They got a bad review on their restaurant because the head of the cooking team had decided to shout to one of the clients about how ‘they didn’t have an ounce of taste’ because they disliked the taste of his Ratatouille and oh, how to forget? The fact that her duties as a manager transcend to something else.
She rushes through the kitchen, heat and smoke accompanied by the sizzling of veggies and meat. She doesn’t care that there are flames around her, or that she bumps into one of the cooks in the process.
Sachiko has a mini version of herself, gift of a getaway with her ex-husband to try to make her marriage work. Then, came the five-year-old that had slipped her hold as she was attending one of the residents in their hotel at the entrance, granting them information about the type of rooms they offered. Erika, in all her round-faced glory with grabby hands and too much energy, had slipped from her line of sight and her hold.
She has roamed the entire hotel and she can’t find her.
Oh, then, she should change her statement that she hasn’t seen Sachiko in two days. She has. Sachiko’s heels have clicked against the tiles of this hotel. Only to leave Erika with her, spitting out excuses about having to get on another meeting for the expansion of the hotel, before she’s off the hook of being a full-time mother.
She doesn’t even get more payment for this.
“Have you seen Erika?!” She asks out loud, voice strained from so much shouting, only to watch the head chef speak, his moustache moving with each word he says.
“Oh, little Erika?” Well, seems like he has a soft spot for someone. His eyes glimmer, just as he wraps his hand around his mouth, as if to utter a secret. “She’s in one of the tables. She asked for two milkshakes already. Oreo milkshakes. She’s starting to jitter.”
“Mr. Oh!” She whines, throwing her head back with a groan before splaying her hands on her hips. Navy blue uniform as a simple suit giving her the most boring yet comforting outfit she could come up with. “I am the one that has to get her to sleep, and if she has sugar before bed, she won’t even close an eye—”
Mr. Oh shrugs. “What am I supposed to say? She’s my boss’ daughter.”
“I am your boss as well.”
“You’re getting me fired?”
She can’t even answer to him, hearing the Baby Shark song spoken at the top of someone’s little lungs. Her feet are rushing out of the kitchen by the time she notices it, blazer opening up when she gets to the table Erika is in. Red walls and marble tables don’t scare her, playing with the straw of her drink and grabbing someone’s phone to listen to that fucking song again.
“Erika…” She tuts, voice stern, hands spread out on her knees. This cardio routine has been enough to make her burn all she has eaten this month. The little girl’s short hair caresses her cheeks when she turns towards her, a mischievous smile on her face.
“Yes?”
“Let’s go to your room and wait for mommy to get here.”
“Nope.”
“Yes, Erika. I am not playing.” Her voice levels itself, only to have Erika staring back at her. Big brown eyes blinking, playing with the edge of her pretty pink dress before sighing.
“But you won’t let me…let me watch my shows.” She takes in a breath, shuddering it out as a pout splays on her lips. “Y—You…mommy said you’d be with me, but you aren’t with me at all—”
Tears wield her eyes and she has to rush to cage her in her hold, hoisting her up before a big wail left her lips and she lost her job. “I’m sorry, Erika. I’ve been so busy, I hadn’t realized.” She mumbles out, pressing her cheek to the top of her head before sighing. “Do you want to give a walk around the hotel and go back to your room to watch as many shows as you want?”
She has to play good cards here. She’s not raising this child, after all, so if the long hours of TV-watching make her turn out bad when she’s a teen…that’s not her business.
Erika nods continuously, engulfing her arms around her shoulders. “Yes! Yes! Yes!”
At least, she has found Erika before Sachiko arrives the next morning, but her body practically glues itself to the floor in tiredness by the time she slips out of the restaurant.
The best part of being a manager is when she gets back home.
###
“So, you’re saying you practically lost your job?”
Yoonoh’s life revolves one thing. Those four walls of his cubicles, the connections he has gotten from his workplace and his elongated list of explanations that always go unheard. In any other occasion, he would have been delighted of being given the benefit of lying. Casual relationships are more of his thing and explaining his every insecurity, recollection of time or worry isn’t part of the plan. Carnalities? Sure thing.
A hook-up turned friend with benefits pushing him by the chest and practically gasping when he sighs? He didn’t think it’d end this way.
“Mia,” His voice rasps out, leaning back on his calves while hovering over her. Her bed is as pristine as always, the rosy satin sheets from last week turned into beige, deep fibers that do sound too elegant for them to do whatever they are thinking of in the bed. “I didn’t lose my job, I just didn’t become the head of my department, okay?”
He’s trying to spell it out, but the model is just as confused. Mia had modelled for Silhouette a bunch of times in the last two years, and that’s how he met her. Fitting one of his designs to her will had led him to be asked out on a date and then, the contract came about. Just sex, nothing more.
Mia scrambles away from underneath him, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand as if repulsed. As if she had kissed an ogre itself. “Yoonoh, you’re practically jobless—!”
“I am not.” He sighs out, trying his hardest to concentrate on anything around the room. The tall ceilings, the conversation at hand, anything but the obvious problem in his boxers right now. “I swear, I will just be working for Siyeon but it’s for a period of time. I’m sure I’ll get her position soon enough.”
“Oh my God,” Mia pushes her long brown hair away from her shoulders, widening those innocent eyes of hers, sharp cheekbones lifting in distaste—not even a smile of comprehension. “I can’t believe I almost slept with a good for nothing. You told me you’d get that job and now you didn’t?”
“A good for nothing?” Yoonoh stands up from that bed, hands on his hips when Mia nods, once and then twice.
“Your dick is good, but not that good.”
Is this the day Yoonoh’s ego gets bruised to shattered little pieces that poke at his feet like glass? Perhaps.
Is this the day Yoonoh lets that pang of pain in his chest become visible? Not at all.
“Were you just with me because I was probably going to be a manager?”
“Silhouette is—listen, they are established, but it’s not what I had in mind.” Mia puts on her robe, covering her Goddess-crafted body before picking up a glass of the wine they had been sharing. “If you became manager, I’d have more connections with other teams. I would probably be in better runways and—”
“I’m not your manager or your little linking buddy, Mia.” Yoonoh complains, chest flushed when he seethes, pushing the strands of his dark hair away from his face. “We’re just having fun. I wasn’t going to bring you as my plus one when we had already established—”
“I don’t know if you notice,” She starts, licking her lips in elegance. “But you’re…you’re going to end up alone, Yoonoh. All you do is work, you’re always tense and silent and…a little bit boring, if I’m being honest. I am definitely the closest thing you’ll ever have to a relationship.”
Oh, no. That’s the thing he hates the most. How the world has been divided in romanticists and hard-workers. You’re one of the other, can’t ever be both, and sometimes, he feeds into that stereotype. He knows he doesn’t have time to fully sit down and talk to someone about his interests, let his heart be wandered about like a museum, but somehow…hearing anyone tell him that he’s tense, silent, boring…doesn’t sit well with him.
He shrugs, eager to poke just like done to him. “Good thing I never wanted a relationship with you to start with.”
Mia gasps at that, plush lips parted before she’s opening the window of her one-floor home. Elegant, but still not the grandest thing out there. “Oh, is that so?”
“You happen to be presumptuous, superficial and now, a complete opportunist—” He says, walking behind her until she turns around, her robe falling off one shoulder when she points at the window, crisp air whisking the tension around.
“Then, leave.”
“Okay.” He’s about to turn around and grab his clothing, when he feels her tugging at his taut forearm.
“Not through the door. You don’t get the benefit to do that.” Once again, Mia is pointing at the window and that catches a chuckle out of Yoonoh, that rises and rises in tone.
“I won’t get out through there.”
“I didn’t ask you. I told you to.” With that, she’s pushing at his chest, trying to get him out as he scrambles to get a hold of her.
“Mia! Are you fucking insane?!”
“Tired of your bullshit, Yoonoh. That’s it.”
Mia is, perhaps, not stronger than him, but for someone who walks on runways…she’s mad strong. Maybe, it’s the necessity to get him out of her home or the flying atrocity of her train of thought that has him stumbling backwards in one of those moments. In just his boxers, the prickling of the grass and the flowers in Mia’s garden caress and poke at his skin, tickling in enormous amounts just as he falls into the most embarrassing position he has been in.
The moonlight seeps over his skin, a groan ripping from the depths of his soul at the ache on his back when he hears the window closing, not without a few words from Mia: “And don’t you dare call me again, asshole.” And maybe, he would have laughed at the stupidity of the statement, because throwing someone out of a window is definitely not a reason to call someone back, but now, he’s much too surprised and in pain.
### 
She wishes she was back to being a kid.
It’s a thought she has when the days are tough and uncertainty fills her, like a vase that is neither half full or half empty, but just stuck. In this town, with a job that she had wished for years ago, that takes away every ounce of will and thrive that she ever had. Days are tiring, nights even more so, and sometimes, she wishes the lake would stop being so calm. For it to be some movement, some waves, some dance of life that tells her: ‘this is something new and I give it to you because you deserve it’.
Instead, she’s walking alongside Erika, whose little feet in her elegant tiny boots are kicking a rock on the sidewalk. They had decided to walk for another block near the hotel, houses scattered in their glow in this enchanting night. It’s a moment of quiet, and she relishes on it, sending a look to the rock and to the little girl, just in case she’s not warm enough or she’s tired.
Oh, how she wishes she was tired.
Erika calls out her name, soft and through a pout, in a way that makes her sound like her age. Very much little a baby. “…Why do…why do girls your age never like boys?”
“What do you mean?” She questions, a smile on her face when sparing Erika a glance. A shrug is given. “I think boys are cool. Not all boys, but some are.”
“Mom doesn’t like my dad, and he’s a boy.” That must be the way she explains her parents’ divorce, but how she’s involved in that? She has no idea. “You…you don’t have a boy. I never hear you talk about boys.”
You see, she hasn’t dated in a while. A while as in…years. Comes to be, building trust into someone after having another person shatter it for you is not only difficult, but somehow near impossible. A plane ticket had said farewell to her in-person relationship and she had embarked in this immense long-distance relationship with too many tears and too much longing. He was distant after a while, and she blamed it on time differences…
Time differences that were proven to be someone else when she called him to tell him she had saved money for seven months just to visit him, only to hear him with another woman.
Another woman who claimed to be his girlfriend of four years.
Not one. Not two. Not three. Not even three and a half. Four.
“I don’t know.” She starts, trying to find the best way to say this. “We don’t always need a boy, Erika. Us girls, we don’t. The only people we need are our family, our friends and ourselves. Princesses can still be pretty and have a lot of people looking up to them without a prince.”
“Like Moana?”
“And Merida.” She completes, a smile on her face when she tugs the little girl up to scoop her in her hold. “Your mom has a hotel and she takes care of it very well without a boy. That doesn’t mean your daddy is not important, but they are happy even when he doesn’t have a girl and she doesn’t have a boy.”
“Then,” Erika plays with the collar of her white button-down. “We all have to be in pairs?” She stops.
“You mean couples?” Erika nods. “Oh no, honey, not all of us have to be in pairs or be part of a couple.” She chuckles at Erika’s innocence. She must be a bit insufferable, but still a kid. With the nightly air blowing at her face, she sighs. “We can all be with anybody, depending on who we like, girls…boys…your mom has told you that, right?”
Humming, Erika opens her mouth to speak up. “Yep.”
“Good girl.” She coos, smiling in the process. “Do you know what decision means?”
“Yes.” Erika conquers. “Carrots or potatoes, like that.”
“Exactly. What you choose is your decision.” She’s trying to make this easy for her. “Your mom doesn’t have to love a man, because that is her decision. As long as she loves herself and you, she’s already complete.”
“And you?” Erika questions.
She hadn’t thought about it in years. It didn’t feel right to be next to someone else, and she doesn’t know if that falls on her a little bit. Loneliness is inherent, this wandering thought that comes to her when she stops and wonders if there is someone out there. Not to complete her, because she’s already full by being on her own, but to support her.
“I am complete, too.” The answer is simple, tucking a strand of Erika’s hair behind her curved little ear. “So are you.”
“I am complete!”
“Yes, you are.”
Something interrupts them just as they pass by a cream-colored house. A groan comes from the flowers planted in the front-yard, and that has her stopping. Flowers don’t talk, obviously, but if someone is hurt—a dog or a human, she has to check.
More groaning and then, she sees a peak of milky skin under the moonlight, paired with tousled black hair. A man is standing in between the bushes, with his lower half thankfully covered by the plants, a short small nose, decently sized lips and a face that speaks anything but a good time.
And he’s half-naked. Only in boxers.
Her hand comes upwards to cover Erika’s eyes just as a loud gasp leaves her lips and she screeches: “Pervert!”
“No, no, no!” The man in question shushes her, lowering his body until even his taut chest and abdomen are covered. His eyes widen comically, and she has to shut her mouth to hear him speak. “I’m not a pervert, I promise! I know this looks wrong but—”
“You’re hiding in the bushes without clothes on, sir. This is definitely something illegal—”
“I was with a woman,” He sends a look towards Erika, levelling his words just because a kid is there, trying to snatch her hand away, but its grip is tight like iron. “And she threw me out because we had a break-up. Kind of. Not serious enough to call it a break up but…my clothes are inside and she won’t let me in. I’ve tried for such a long time. I was hiding until someone passed by but…no one did.”
Still far away from him, she quirks an eyebrow. This relatively, conventionally handsome man had been kicked out by a woman…almost ass-naked?
Talk about an attitude.
“Well, I’ll call someone over to help you out—” She’s about to move again, not completely trusting the man in the bushes when he calls her over with a hiss from his lips. A mix of ‘psst!’ and ‘hey!’ that obnoxiously makes her stop to turn around, still covering Erika’s eyes. “What?”
His eyes glisten when he says: “Help me.” He must be some kind of boss. The stranger says these two words like she has to do it, and she would have turned around again had it not been for those plush lips saying: “Please.”
“What do you want?” She questions, only to have him smiling.
Oh, there is a dimple there. A very profound and albeit, a bit attractive, dimple.
“Clothes.” The stranger adds. “Can you buy me some clothes? I promise I’ll pay you. I just need to get out of here. I think a cockroach bit me in the ass.”
“Language.” She spits out, just as Erika tries to wiggle away from her hold and repeats:
“Ass!”
“Erika!”
“Sorry.” He says again, bringing his hands together in a plea before sighing out: “I need them right now.”
She fixes Erika’s hold around her body, before rolling her eyes hard enough so she cans see the back of her head. “Fine. I’ll find you some clothes.”
###
Erika won’t take care of the family business. She’ll be a stylist, for sure. 
The only thing opened at this hour of the night that doesn’t cost her a big portion of her salary is the thrift store and after endlessly explaining the situation to a very eager Erika, she is watching the little girl moving around the store as if she owns it, grabbing clothes here and there in a hassle.
“Erika, be careful. We can only pick three pieces of clothing!” Not that the teenager by the counter cares, popping his bubblegum in between his thin lips, looking down at his phone and tapping on it with a speed that a piano player would envy.
“We have to make him look cute.” Erika tries to say in her most professional voice, and she has to sigh. She will definitely not become a mother anytime soon.
“Yes, but we also have to make it cheap. I don’t have much money in this suit.”
“Yes, yes.” Somehow, she feels like Erika is not listening, pulling at a t-shirt on a table nearby, only to unfold it and give it to her. Her body is so small that she couldn’t see the imprint on the front. As her babysitter of the night, she expands it over her chest, only to watch something within Erika lighting up. “I like it!”
“Good,” She checks the price after muffling a laugh at the words written at the front. “It’s cheap. We can get it.”
Small steps patter against the tiles of the grand store before she’s tugging at the leg of a pair of pants she found on a rack, too tall for her to grab.
“This, this, this, I want this!”
Those ones are a little bit pricier, but when she gets them out of the rack, a smile finally spreads through her features. She has to get it. “You have a gut for styling, little one.”
Erika straightens her back in pride, fisting her small hands before nodding. “Thank you. Want me to buy one for you?”
She chuckles at her words. Definitely not, but she masks it by saying. “We don’t have enough money tonight. Another time.”
### 
Props to the man whom now she knows is called Jung Yoonoh…he doesn’t look half as bad in those clothes as anyone else would.
The milky way spreads on Erika’s pupils when she leans on the table that she had taken up in the hotel’s restaurant a little bit over an hour ago. Her line of sight is filled with none other than Yoonoh, whom she had practically cried to just to invite him to have dinner with the two of them. Erika has practically eaten her weight in Oreo milkshakes, but she can’t quite say she is not starving by the time she slips into the leather seats and she smells the delicious cooking from the kitchen.
Compare that to the bland sandwich she has in her locker.
The little girl talks even out of her elbows. Yoonoh, however, patiently listens, trying to keep up with the grand story she has for the outfit she had picked for him. That explains why people take second-glances towards him. Not that he is not handsome enough; the lighting at that house his girl had kicked him out of did not do justice to his chiseled, quite carved face, but there is something about his clothing that captures most of the attention.
A pair of pink flip flops that Erika had picked up at last after they both forgot about shoes. Tight red leather pants that showcase the strength and curve of his thighs, quite lean, elongated legs that she had taken a second look at when seeing him out of the bushes with some clothes on. And, how to forget the old, quite used black tank top that reads: ‘With a body like this, who needs a personality?’.
She had laughed when she saw him.
Her fingers dip her fries on some ketchup by the time Yoonoh does so, sparing her a glance over Erika’s shoulder when the little girl says:
“My friend doesn’t need boys.” The girl adds, wrapping her hands around her mouth before saying. “But don’t feel offended, she still finds boys cool.”
“Some of them.” She corrects, connecting her gaze with Yoonoh’s just as the man leans back on his seat, crossing his arms across his chest.
“Oh, words from a broken heart. Who hurt you?” He questions, quirking one of his eyebrows before taking a bite of the fried chicken he had insisted on getting. Something about those brown eyes seem to capture her perfectly, as if reading her like a book…and she doesn’t like it.
“I’m just too busy to care.” Her voice wavers the slightest when letting out her excuse and then, she scoffs. “You know, that happens when you’re the manager of a hotel.”
“Understandable.” Yoonoh nods a few times before that dimple appears again. “Too busy to care or too busy to date?”
Her face burns by the time Yoonoh asks that question, pleased with the way she widens her eyes. “When did we decide to make me the subject of our conversation?”
“You saw me half-naked, I get to know something about you other than the pressed suits and the obvious distrust issues.” Yoonoh’s tone is playful, that smile never erased from his features, while her frown deepens. She can’t say he’s not correct, but he’s also poking at her nerves with his words.
“I don’t have trust issues.”
He hums. “Your first reaction is to say no to everything. You deny every word that is thrown your way.”
“Because I happen to think guys like you just feel like they know it all.” She comments, taking the same position as him while crossing one leg over the other. Erika just looks between the two, trying to understand this conversation to no avail. “You read and read people, but I can read you well, Yoonoh.”
He expands his arms, showing that ridiculous shirt. May be half true, his body is great, and his personality may be a little bit insufferable. “Read me.”
“Bachelor with a good job who has that ‘rise and grind’ mentality. Don’t take relationships seriously. Can’t look past what’s in front of him and oh, trust issues, too.” She relishes on leaning over the table, watching as his eyes concern the rest of her face, taking in her every feature before his gaze delves down to the fold of her shirt, no buttons opened, but he’s trying to see something there.
“You want me to look at what’s in front of me?” He questions. “It’s you. Didn’t know that was your way of flirting with me. Guess I really do have to thank you for the…outfit.”
“And me!” Erika raises her hand, waiving it in the air happily.
His tutting tone changes when smiling at her. “Thank you, Erika.”
“Who hurt you, Jung Yoonoh?” She questions, mocking the tone he had used on her and trying to stop a smile from appearing on her lips. So, playing around with him is fun, as it seems.
He stops for a moment, as if thinking. The curve of his mouth falls down the slightest and she hears a breath-in that she overthinks about, noticing that there is pain in even the brightest of people. Instead, he shrugs. “I haven’t gotten my heart broken.” Yoonoh says, playing with the strands of his hair, curves of his arms contorting. “Want to be the first to break it, sweetheart?”
“You wish.” She scoffs, only to have Yoonoh dipping more of his fries in ketchup.
“You wouldn’t even kill an ant.” Yoonoh swats without importance. “I doubt you’d break my heart.”
“I wouldn’t want to break your heart, and that’s what differentiates us.” She points between them. “Good cop, bad cop.”
“Excuse me.” A tender voice cuts through the air around us, a young-looking guy with innocent features and glasses too big for his face waves a Polaroid camera in his hold when nearing them. “May I take a picture of you? I have a photography project for a class I’m taking in college and I need to take pictures that bring nostalgia and warmth. I happened to think your little family could be the perfect subject.”
Before she could fully deny they are a family, Erika is wrapping both her little arms around their shoulders as she settles at the center of the table, smiling at the camera. “Cheese!”
Two pictures are taken before she could fully bring a smile to her face, her eyes connecting to Yoonoh’s over the table in a look that she can’t quite recognize. His smile has erased but still, he’s the one to take the picture when the college student says:
“One for you, one for me.” He says, bowing slightly. “Thank you.”
With that, he is gone, but the effect of his picture lingers when she realizes where she is. A complete stranger sits at the same table as her, trying to figure each other our while she should have put Erika to bed long ago, continue with her job and not even look to the sides to see whose lives are coexisting while she’s just working.
“Sorry.” She stands up, shaking her head at her own antics. Helped him, she had already done, and now she has no business to sit with him, grab a bite and just pretend that she doesn’t have things to do. Yoonoh looks up from the picture, eyebrows furrowed when she grabs Erika by the arms and hoists her up. “I—I have to work. I don’t…I shouldn’t…I shouldn’t be here with you.”
“Why?” Yoonoh questions, voice softened when she shakes her head.
“I just shouldn’t.” She finishes, not knowing quite well what this feels like. Casually flirting with a man like him means trouble. “Goodbye, Yoonoh.”
She says those words with the harshest weight of the world, turning around and rushing out of the restaurant while Erika screams out Yoonoh’s name in need for more fun in the night. Nonetheless, she feels someone’s eyes trailing after her, but she knows one look over her shoulder would only bring more questions to her head.
What was the universe trying to do when putting him on her road?
###
There is a picture in his wallet that doesn’t even begin to answer the questions roaming his head. As confused as in the beginning, Yoonoh remains.
He doesn’t know why he stares at it after finishing his meal during lunchtime, the office emptied out of people, flicking at the corner of the Polaroid he would not show anyone even if they paid him a billion won. He just wouldn’t. That ridiculous shirt and those obnoxiously tight pants that definitely gave him a carpet burn that he’s still feeling two days later, should have been enough of a reason not to wonder about the sudden change of mind the hotel manager had. 
Maybe, he had offended her. Though, she had kept on playing his game—and he half meant what he said. People like her are easy to read. Definitely an organization freak, perhaps a bit nerdy, with enough worries in her mind to fill an entire book. She wasn’t wrong about his trust issues either, but as he splays his fingertips on top of her placement in the picture, the only one who is not fully smiling, he ponders…
What’s about this girl that has his mind bringing her back all the time?
He closes his wallet just as he opens his sketchbook. A new one, because in his hassle, he had ripped the other that he had filled with all his dreams and hopes. He had crafted bodies, all in different sizes, to design something…and nothing had come to mind, not until he saw her again. That treasure hidden under baggy suits and clothes that he would have never looked at twice if only he hadn’t been captured by the naïve elegance in her face.
His eyes had tried to look, capture a glimpse of the curves around her body, and his imagination gave him more than what he could actually perceive. Yet, it had been enough. Flipping through his color scheme cards, he compares it to the vision he had inside his brain. Conservative, but still enough to feel powerful…
Violet. He doesn’t know why he picks it, but he does.
His fingers can’t stop sketching over the model he has on his sketchbook. He imagines lace and stain, draped thin pieces of clothing over the shoulders. Enough coverage for a one piece…and it comes to him in the form of a muse he would have never imagined. Someone who did not even show him anything, never gave him a chance to talk or fly, because that’s what he had never tried. What Silhouette had never stood for.
The people who are too shy to wear something like what they design.
Attractiveness is a feeling most people should get used to. Being looked at in an adoring light or have a flower thrown their way in the form of a compliment is desired, but has been lost in the eye of lust. Every word of adoration these days has been related to something—the imminent stoppage of the moment for the promise of sex. Never had Yoonoh thought of his designs as something more than a form of self-seduction, with the portrayal of self-love as a higher force for lust, but now, he sees it again.
Lingerie shouldn’t be seducing. It should be a weapon of beauty; a piece of clothing to be taken into consideration, colors that merge well with one’s personality. Not everyone is ready to fully unveil themselves in the light of the sexualized society we live in. Sometimes, people just want to feel nice fabrics against their skin or a glimmer of gorgeousness without showing everything.
The magic of designing is in delicacy.
The ideas come to him then. What was once a two piece for Yoonoh, now is one. What was once see-through, now makes up for riskiness in designs and curves, fabrics added to give more structure, instead of more nudity. Lingerie doesn’t have to be a thin layer of clothing—it can be beautiful, crafted and built.
His e-mail dings with a new entrance, stopping him on his third design as he envisions what must be under that suit—what would fit her and other working people for needing a boost, without actually showing the clothing to anyone but themselves, but soon enough, his face falls at Siyeon’s e-mail.
Subject: The Boss Wants You to Work.
Greetings, my beloved Yoonoh,
Silhouette has been known for its strong stance in the fashion community, and I have been pleased to land a runway show for us in, specifically, twenty-nine (29) days. In light of this, I send you the list of things you have to do:
1)   Design a set for the main male model of the runway, Kim Jungwoo. It has to be a showstopper if you want to keep working with him. I need this to be sent in 6 days.
2)   Find a nice and not as expensive place for the publicity photoshoot to take part on. I don’t want simple. I need ravishing visuals.
3)   Talk to the newbie models and make sure that said day, the stylists don’t screw up.
Thank you.
Sincerely,
Jeon Siyeon.
Yoonoh rolls his eyes before starting to type a reply. The devil must be in front of her computer.
Subject: [RE]: The Boss Wants You to Work.
Hello,
I had already started working on a female set. I’m a female lingerie designer. I think I am not the one in charge of Jungwoo’s outfit.
Sincerely,
Jung Yoonoh.
The response comes just as he begins scrabbling his ideas into paper once again.
Subject: Who asked?
I want you to work on Jungwoo’s outfit. See if you get better while working on boxers instead of bras.
Not as sincerely,
Jeon Siyeon.
Spreading one hand on top of his sketchbook, he rubs the bridge of his nose before he breathes in deeply. Okay, now it seems like he has to craft something for a model that he doesn’t even know about, as well as finding the place for a photoshoot. An assistant, he seems to be now, and Siyeon’s, nonetheless.
But a place comes to mind, soon enough.
###
Devastation comes short to the wails that leave the kid’s lips. That speaks of pleas and pain.
Over a week of Sachiko coming up with different meetings had led up to an expected, yet somewhat uncalculated, road trip to where she hopes to build her second hotel. That said, she won’t stay for a day or two, but for the entirety of two weeks away from Erika. The daughter that now clings onto Sachiko like a koala, hiding her face in the crook of her neck, black hair matching her own as she cries uncontrollably.
Sachiko is at her apartment’s doorstep, luggage by the side of her elongated legs, as she shushes her daughter with a worried gaze. “You’re going to be okay, baby.” Then, she calls out her name, trying to wipe the tears in her eyes with just one hand. “You’ll be taken care of…and I will be back before you know it.”
“Why do you leave?!” Erika screeches, and Sachiko tries her best to reason with her, but her own whines are stopping her.
So, with her pajamas and tiredness lingering within her, she places a hand on top of Erika’s back. “Because your mom wants you to have a great life, Erika. She wants to buy you all you need and for you to have dreams as big as hers.” Maybe, she won’t get it now, but it’s the best she can do to explain the situation.
It manages to make Erika turn around, blinking her tears onto her cheeks. “I don’t want her to go.”
“We’ll mark the calendar…and she’ll come soon enough.” She whispers out, and it’s at this moment that she regrets saying yes to Sachiko when she asked her to take care of her daughter for a little while longer.
A little while longer shouldn’t mean two weeks.
Still, Erika doesn’t let go of her mom. She’s glued to her.
“I made you some hot chocolate, and I have some pudding that I prepared for me earlier.” Because sugary sweet meals seem to make her feel better in these days of uncertainty. This makes Erika widen her eyes, looking back at her mom before questioning her with a small smile.
“There you go, there’s my smiling baby.” Sachiko finishes, putting her daughter down before looking down at her watch. “My taxi is waiting for me. You can call me tomorrow, Erika, okay?”
“Yes, mommy!” But Erika is already moving towards the kitchen to grab a mug of that sweet, sweet hot chocolate.
She knows sweets are her weak point.
The only weak point she has.
“Make sure she sleeps early, okay?” Sachiko says, and all she can do is nod.
“Sure thing.” I can’t promise a thing, she thinks.
“And that she doesn’t eat too many sweets. I’ll let this one slide.”
“Only veggies.” She says as she grabs her doorframe in between her hold. Only to give her something sweet after she throws the veggies at my face, her mind replies.
“Thank you.” Sachiko adds over her shoulder, a smile to her face. “I know it’s difficult, but I really don’t have any family to take care of her and I really do trust you. I promise to pay you well after all this.”
That’s a nice start.
“Don’t worry. Me and Erika get along well.” That’s not a lie, but taking care of a kid is extremely tiring. “Just get in your taxi. We’ll be fine.”
With that, minutes pass by of complete silence, Erika’s eyes trained on her phone, blasting Peppa Pig, with one or two hiccups escaping here and there as she drinks her first mug of chocolate. She joins her, slicing another bit of cake and shrugging off whatever thought appears inside her brain.
The chocolate merges on the roof of her mouth, warming her to the tip of her toes, each aching muscle after hours of working relaxing, even a bit entranced by the show she’s not watching, but might be brain-washing her just like the rest of the kids.
“Another one, please.” Erika says after finishing her episode, extending her mug of chocolate towards her before she smiles sweetly.
She shakes her head. “Mom said no sweets.”
“Please?” The little girl drags with dulcetness in her tone, but she repeats the previous action.
“Nope.”
Erika places the mug down, head laying low before she repeats: “Chocolate, please!”
“I said nope.”
The kid stops for a moment, thinking as the sound of the dishwasher starting up as she cleans the mugs and the plates, and just then, her small voice is heard again:
“You don’t give me chocolates because you’re sad about Yoonoh?”
That makes her halter all steps. Yoonoh. The man that she had met days ago. Adonis without a shirt on, and then some weird 2011 wannabe that happened to have dinner with her and Erika. The lingering flirtations between the two had not been forgotten, those pair of eyes that somehow seemed to want to strip her of her utmost secrets, only for her to back away.
Yoonoh means trouble.
“I am not sad about Yoonoh.” She adds, turning around with her damp hands ending up over her waist. “Why do you think I’m sad about him?”
“Because he’s your boy!” Erika screeches as if it’s the most obvious thing, and she’s starting to get tired of the kid’s insane romanticism mixed with optimism. Sure, she’s a kid, but Disney should start making less princesses with a prince. “Mommy explained it to me.”
“What did she explain?” Not that she’s understanding a thing, but please, she does need to be enlightened.
“I asked mommy how people acted when they were in pairs.”
“When they are couples.”
“Yep!” The grin on her chubby cheeks is enchanting, but by what she’s saying, she’s about to ask Sachiko to pick her up again. The love talk is not her thing. “And she said boys smile a lot and they speak weirdly, like things I can’t understand.” That is a way to put it. “And the girl looks down a lot…and I don’t remember what else she said, but you did all those things with Yoonoh. He is your boy!”
“Boyfriend, not boy.” She corrects, turning around to continue to wash the dishes. Was he smiling at her? She had seen the dimple, but she hadn’t thought that he had beamed around like a madman. “And he’s not my boyfriend. I don’t have one.”
“But why?” Erika drags her voice.
“We already had the talk of Moana and Merida.”
“I get that. I’m like them. I don’t want to be with boys.” She utters innocently, standing up to tug at her sleeve. “But you are with Yoonoh.”
“Oh, no.” She shakes her head, laughter escaping her lips. “You hit your head, Erika.”
“I didn’t!” The little girl says, scratching her head just in case. “You’re a princess. He’s a prince—”
“Erika!” She stops her, interrupting her with ease before sighing. “I met Yoonoh the day we saw him, and I didn’t like him that way. We aren’t even friends.”
She juts out her lip. “I wasn’t friends with Mina either.” That’s Erika’s best friend from school. “But we became friends in a day. She put a worm in the teacher’s sandwich…” Her voice becomes soft, a blush appearing on her face. “It was awesome.”
“It’s different for adults.” That’s the best way to put it. She shakes the water away from her hands after closing the faucet before patting them dry on a towel. “What would you do if I said I disliked Yoonoh?”
“Nothing.” She adds. “You said you liked cool boys, and he’s a cool boy.”
He’s an overachieving asshole with a nice smile that could potentially enter her heart if she let him, but that should and would never happen. That’s who he is.
“Erika, I’ll tell your mom to ground you if we keep this conversation up.”
That seems to make her stop, grabbing her phone once again—and she knows the password, which is even worse, kids in this generation are geniuses—, before adding: “Does Peppa have a boy?”
“Oh my God, no!”
This will definitely be a long night.
###  
His mind is blank. Absolutely blank. Lingerie for men is even more difficult than lingerie for women. 
Jungwoo gives another walk on the stage, bleached blonde hair barely moving with each step he takes. He’s in the simple designs, the first launch of Silhouette, as bland as bland can get, and while his strut is fine, he can’t think of anything. Nothing that couldn’t be just a simple pair of boxer briefs thrown on a model. He could do that, but that’s so common, so plastered on paper. He wants to do something else, and yet, in the day of the photoshoot, he can’t think of anything.
“Why are you making me do this?” He met Jungwoo a few days ago, and he was actually quite surprised to recognize who he is. A runway model that has been around the world and all over fashion weeks. His dulcet personality and tall frame have gotten him somewhere, that’s for sure. “I should be already in my clothes and ready to take pictures.”
“I have nothing.” In the middle of the hotel’s ballroom, Jungwoo stops walking at the sound of Yoonoh’s voice. The designer looks down at his sketchbook, where he had made the drawing of a body similar to Jungwoo’s and still, nothing came to mind.
“…You have to have something.”
“A pair of black boxers.” He turns the sketchbook around just as Jungwoo slips a robe over his body and ties it securely. “Better than white boxer briefs, sexier, too. All the women I’ve been with likes them.”
“I won’t model that.” Jungwoo conquers, a lightweight laugh following after. “Those look like plain cotton boxers.”
“Well, I just don’t know what to design. Either I make you look tacky or I make you look bland. There is no in-between.”
“That bad?” Jungwoo questions, taking a seat next to him before grabbing a water bottle. “People are going to be here any minute. Everyone has decorated and I’m not sure my manager will be happy to hear that I came here just for nothing.”
A look is spared to the model, with Yoonoh shaking his head softly. He has to think of something. He can’t give Siyeon the benefit of seeing him tuck with a simple design.
His pencil taps against the drawing for a few seconds before he breathes out a few words: “You’re okay with being more covered?”
Conservative and elegant is more of what he has been aspiring for, with that peek of skin that makes the world go around. It’s what he has been drawing these days, but mostly with a muse in mind.
“Sure. I wasn’t over the moon thinking my ass was going to be out in the world.”
Yoonoh chuckles at that, turning the page around from the plain black boxers before sketching something else. “How about a crop top? With a fabric similar to a bralette, and you look better in red than you do in black.” He draws a diagonal line across the ribcage, making slitted long sleeves to showcase pieces of biceps, filling it up with the color red in a quick hassled manner that he will fix later. “Maybe some chains and garments around that wrap up to your waist.”
“I like that.” Jungwoo announces when looking over his shoulder.
“I’ll keep the black boxers. I still think they are classics, and I can talk to the management team to make them more than just cotton.” Yoonoh announces, soon after looking at the picture before clicking his tongue. “I think there’s something lacking.”
“Dunno. You’re the designer, but I’d wear this out of the runway.”
That’s something good, but Yoonoh is thinking of something else. People in real life transcending into their own confident version. That’s what he wants to portray. He draws a suit jacket draped over his shoulders, falling onto his long legs until it reaches midway through his calves, before sketching a pair of pants on the side. Loose, simple, highlighted in the waist.
“We could connect do something like…like suspenders. Office guy turns into midnight God.” Once again, he’s sketching. “You’d wear this, the crop top underneath but I have no idea how you’d show the boxers.”
“Make them low cut.” Jungwoo suggests, eyes trained on his phone momentarily when he crosses one leg over the other. “That way, the boxer’s band will be showing, and it will have Silhouette’s name there. I’d take off the jacket to show the statement piece.”
Yoonoh thinks about it, erasing the line at the waist before drawing the band, and his eyes glimmer at the image underneath him. Not as bad as he imagined it.
“Your ideas are good.”
“Thanks, I’m not just a pretty face.” Jungwoo jokes around, only standing up when the doors of the ballroom come open.
The theme of the photoshoot is simple. A party at the eighties, with beaming colors and disco balls. Darkened walls, confetti, everything has been added to highlight the idea Yoonoh had come up with. Nonetheless, his team is not the one barging in the room when the doors open, instead, he’s met with another darkened suit and a serious face that stares down at her agenda.
“Morning, people. I’m sorry I’m late. I was figuring out an issue at the penthouse, but I am here to help you with any form of decoration or with any question you may have.” The hotel manager stands there. Not that Yoonoh ever pondered they could not meet each other when he had specifically picked her hotel—he had walked through when entering the restaurant, and the three-stars help with the price, but the decorations are immaculate. Architecture its utmost beauty.
Now that he sees her, a smile spreads across his features. Maybe, a bit too soon—in a way that has him pushing it down because it is not possible to get that reaction out of him when it’s not faux. That woman had stood him up without even much of a reason, in the literal sense of the word, took those pretty legs away from the seat and walked away after they had been having fun.
He wore those leather pants. She owed him not leaving him in the middle of a restaurant with her meal and his to pay.
When she looks up at him, a few sentiments flash before her eyes, but he can’t guess any of them. He breathes out her name, capturing her off guard when she questions:
“You remember me?” Her voice is levelled as she moves forward, with a tinge of curiousness.
Yoonoh shrugs his shoulders in his fitted black sweater, paired with dark ripped jeans. “I wasn’t shitfaced. Just half-naked.”
That makes her frown deeply when she looks up at him again. “Don’t you dare say that out loud in front of anyone.” Soon after, she’s talking to Jungwoo. “I—Don’t listen to him. I’m the manager of this hotel and I have no business with this man.”
Jungwoo lifts his hands in the air. “None of my business, but please, do let me hear.”
He doesn’t know why it surprises him that Jungwoo likes gossip. “Why? You’re embarrassed of helping me out?”
“You’re saying it with double intentions.”
Yoonoh chuckles. “I wasn’t intending on anything the night we met.”
“Oh, come on.” She rolls her eyes, making him raise his eyebrows. That cynic voice in her is not something he expected. “We both know what kind of intentions you have with everyone. It seeps from you.”
“Seeps from me?”
“You had no issue going with some stranger after being kicked out of your…your hook up’s house and you were smiling and using those eyes on me and buddy,” She stops, a short laugh leaving her lips. Her index finger extends to point at him. “I’m not a charity case. I’m not in need of a man. I don’t need you to come around and cause me trouble, okay? If you’re here just to tease me instead of letting me do my job, then we’re off to a bad start.”
Offended is short for what he feels. Sure, he may not make a big deal out of hook ups, but it’s not like he’s the easiest man in the world. And if he was, why does she care?
“You’re the one talking about my eyes. I never made eyes at you.”
That makes her stop, holding her agenda to her chest before patting her ponytail in place. “Okay. Fine.”
“You just think you’re so much better than you, don’t you?” Yoonoh spites, crossing his arms across his chest, never once raising his voice.
“Excuse me?”
“Oh, yes, you take care of your boss’ child. You’re so sweet and kind. So in synch with yourself you need no one’s company…” He trails off, pointing them out with the sharpness of his words. “That’s fine, but it’s not fine when you point fingers at people for being with other people. The twenty-first century is calling, they are here to say you can show someone your ankles without losing all sense of rightfulness.”
Scoffing, she shakes her head, a sarcastic smile appearing on her features. “Yoonoh, I know men like you.” She starts. The typical stance people have of him. Men like him. “You’re a…around with a bunch of women, and you use your good looks to your advantage, never care about anybody but you, never take anyone out on a date—”
He gets closer at that moment, lowering his eyes onto her lips before connecting them with hers. “…You wanted me to take you out on a date and that’s why you’re mad about me being a thot?”
“No!”
His hand reaches for one of her ears, laughing when he feels the heat. “Your ears are hot. Have something to tell me?”
“Where’s the person in charge of this photoshoot?” She slaps his hand away, turning to Jungwoo who has the biggest grin on his features.
“Oh, it’s him. The asshole Jung Yoonoh.” Jungwoo conquers with a flick of his finger before he expands his hands in front of them. “But please do continue. I love a good drama.”
“You?!” She gasps that word out as if it’s venom, a sharp intake coming after.
“Me.” Yoonoh retorts, a smirk appearing on his face. “And I happen to have lots of questions about this ballroom.”
He doesn’t, but he enjoys his next thirty minutes, trying to get the offense out of his body by having her carrying boxes—not heavy, but definitely bothersome when ordered by him—and giving her his phone number wrongly three times as she finished up the contract and the bill for the rent of the ballroom. Exasperation is short for what she feels, but as she’s working on that bill, he realizes something.
The shirt underneath her suit is a sunshine yellow, and he may change violet from the position of his desired color on her, because yellow makes her beam like never before. It gives her a powerful stance, standing out even in between seas of models posing around.
Though what she thinks of him has been a repetition of what he has heard before, somehow, he cares a little bit more when it comes from the one woman that has inspired him to do better with his designs. Not that she even cares about his position as a designer.
For her, he’s only another asshole who uses people to his will, and that’s only half correct.
###  
“The sexual tension was so thick I had a hard time breathing. Seriously, it was like when I used to steal rated magazines when I was young!”
The maids cheer and giggle to themselves when Blue spits out another version of the story that she and Yoonoh supposedly wrote yesterday afternoon in the ballroom. She has to play with the lettuce of her sandwich, cheek squished against her palm as she watches Erika stare in between the seas of women, following after every reaction even when she doesn’t understand them.
“Blue, don’t say such words in front of Erika.” She tells them, biting on her densely sauce-coated sandwich, before breathing out softly. How could they think of Yoonoh as a dream when he’s obviously a womanizer dressed in sheep’s clothing?
Or the devil. He’s definitely the devil.
“Whatever.” Blue, in her eighties, moves the skirt of her gray uniform before picking up one of the maids. One of the youngest and the tallest, with a long black fringe and moon-bathed features. Chaewon, she thinks her name is. “He told her: ‘Need help with those boxes’?” She lowers her voice to be a faux deep vibrato. “And she said: ‘No, I can do it myself. Thank you.’” That time around, her voice lifts up.
“I don’t speak like that.”
“And then, he retorted by saying: ‘I know, but my arms are waiting to hold something. I think you’d rather it be boxes.’”
More screeches and giggles follow after that statement, and she rolls her eyes because he did say that.
Chaewon ends up being swooped over, rolled around in Blue’s hold before she’s cooing. “I was expecting him to lower her down and give her that kiss that she was definitely asking for with her gaze,” She imitates the actions by looking down at Chaewon. She’s an actress, even at such an old age. “She kept looking at his lips before she cut him off, and you had to say the way his eyes lingered on her…”
“Where was he looking?” One of the maids asks, organizing the towels in their little eating room when Blue lets of Chaewon to let her sit somewhere else.
“He wasn’t looking.” The manager defends, ears heated up…but because of the golden lights here, definitely.
“Everywhere! There was not a portion of her that he simply did not worship with his gaze alone. He wanted to ravish her like—”
More heat, and maybe, summer is coming around earlier than expected. “Blue, stop reading those romance books with naked men on the cover. They’re getting to you.”
Blue laughs at her antics, her curled gray hair jumping around when she takes a seat in front of her. She continues to bite on her sandwich. “Aw, come on, boss. You can’t expect us not to want to see you with that man.” She covers her mouth to lower her voice before whispering: “He’s sexy.”
“Jung Yoonoh is anything but that!” She defends, leaning back on her seat and trashing the last bit that was left of her sandwich. She opens her water bottle and gulps it quickly.
“Look at that heat!” One of the maids adds, and Chaewon nods in return. “How does he look like, Blue? He sounds like a dream.”
“Pecs over pecs over pecs. He had…” The oldest woman curves her hands in the air and the manager has to scoff.
“Stop thirsting over him.”
“His girlfriend over there will get jealous but you had to see that sweater on him. That man is lean and had the sweetest, prince-like face. But not the kind of prince that wants you for his kingdom, having you wearing proper dresses and greeting the crowd.” She stops for a second, thick silence lingering in the air before she adds. “But the kind of prince that sneaks you into the castle to show you ever room—”
“More sexualization, great.” Her knees buckle when she picks Erika up from her spot in between the maids. “I have a meeting with the valet team. You better stop talking about this if you don’t want me to talk with Sachiko about your disrespect towards our clients.”
She opens the door when Erika wraps her arms around her neck, turning around to wave to the maids. “Bye!”
“Bye-bye, honey!” Blue waves back, returning to the crowd to say: “And his hair—”
She has to close the door with a bang as a huff leaves her lips. Everything has been about Jung Yoonoh these days, but what is the sudden obsession to have her paired up with someone who will definitely shatter her to pieces?
Every thought about him shall be erased as soon as possible now that he has finished with his photoshoot. She won’t hear about Jung Yoonoh ever again.
###
“And then, she went on to call me a man-whore or something. Practically drawing me as the biggest scumbag to ever exist.”
It’s way over nine at night when he finally has the time to check over what the manufacturing team had done with the design that he had sketched for Jungwoo. He still needed to take his pictures for the event, asking the graphic design team to help him out with the deadline, but that’s the least of his worries. Johnny is by his side, lost in his phone as he listened to his story, being his support for another all-nighter.
He unfolds the blood red fabric of the crop top and smiles in delight. Fitted, with slits that could pierce well into the subject of edge, and some chains dangling in elegant curves towards the waist, with Swarovski diamonds in between. He continues to look through the pieces, pants and jacket as well, when he hears Johnny speaking up.
“She’s not wrong.” He says, still engraved on his phone. “You’re a bit of an ass and you haven’t been in a serious relationship ever since I met you. Even before that, you have been single and into hook-ups. Why are you bothered?”
“Because I am not like that. I don’t have the time to embark in a relationship, okay?” Yoonoh mutters out, placing the jacket down on the table to look at it more precisely. “She has this…this air of arrogance of thinking she’s better than me. I don’t know, like…she just thinks I am some kind of douchebag that gets to her nerves—”
“Yet, still you sketch her.” That is the moment he hears the pages of his sketchbook being flickered at. Yoonoh widens his eyes, turning around to close it just as he says:
“Let go of that!”
“They’re pretty. Don’t be a nerd about it.” Once again, Johnny has taken the sketchbook, turning around to keep it away from his hold. “Are you into BDSM or something? People talking down on you? Women hating you so badly that they are kinda into you?”
Hate. That word is enormous, and he wouldn’t like to use it when plotting what she feels for him. Strong dislike, let’s go with that. “I’m not.” He denies all allegations. “…You just have to see her.”
“Ass or tits?”
“Not that.” Yoonoh feels his own cheeks heating up as a smile takes over his features. Not that he had gotten to see a lot with how baggy her suits are, but attractive is short for how he would describe her. “It’s in the way she holds herself. She’s the quiet kind of powerful. With everyone, she is kind and understanding, and yet, her action speak louder than she does. She’s independent and doesn’t let anyone else help her, even if she’s over the top with assignments and—”
“And it kind of sounds like you’re paying a little too much attention to her.” Johnny closes the sketchbook at that moment, quirking an eyebrow at his friend. “What’s with you, Yoonoh?”
The man scoffs, shaking his head. “Nothing. Just saying. I’m so angry that she’s like that, I just—”
“No, you’re not angry. Real angry Yoonoh? It’s the kind of Yoonoh we see with Siyeon. Not this one, talking about how he loves someone’s kindness.” His eyes trail over to his sketchbook, then to the design for Jungwoo before he’s ripping one page out and jotting down a message for the manufacturing team. It’s alright, he just wants a few more diamonds. “Come on, man. Talk about it. Mama Seo used to say there are no secrets in this household.”
“What do you want me to say?” Annoyance seeps from his voice when he looks over his shoulder. “Yes, I was interested. Yes, I guess we kind of flirted. Yes, she still ran away and yes, she absolutely despises my guts?”
“…She blew you off.” Johnny says that as if it’s the biggest announcement in the world.
Yoonoh shrugs. “Yeah, so what? It’s not like I asked her or made it known—”
“For the first time in his life, Jung Yoonoh didn’t get blown, he got blown off!”
“Johnny, it’s not funny—”
“I have to see who this woman is.” Johnny gets his phone out of his pocket, opening his Instagram app before he’s lurking for her. “What’s her name?”
Maybe, curiousness got the best of him when he stands behind Johnny, looking over his shoulder when he rasps out her name.
“There we have her.” His friend announces just as he clicks on the first account. “Private. I can’t really see her face in the profile picture.” It’s the silhouette of a woman, most likely her, in a sunset. Her hands are fisted deep in her pockets and she must be looking at the sun. “Should I message her? Something like: ‘Hi, if you don’t want to date Yoonoh, I’m single and the second-best option’?”
He’s joking around, yet, Yoonoh stares longingly at that picture. Something about her is so lukewarm that he finds himself at peace. He has always liked everything scalding hot—his relationships, his hook-ups, his meals, even the days that he spends at the beach, but now, he is interested in silence and tranquilness. In that lukewarm nature that comes within her, never too cold, never too hot.
“No.” His voice sounds unused when he finally speaks up. “Leave her be.”
Johnny’s eyes inspect his features. “Dude…there is really something about her, isn’t it?”
“I’ll never know, I guess.” Yoonoh finalizes, shrugging his shoulders before moving towards the edge of the room and turning off the lights. “Let’s go, I’m starving.”
###
“I won’t take a bath! I don’t want to!”
Five days from Sachiko’s arrival and she already feels like breaking. Breaking down or breaking out of her home, one or the other. Erika screams at the top of her lungs while rushing out of the bathroom, still very much in her pajamas, to sit down in front of her TV and watch another cartoon.
She throws the towel over her shoulder, eyes half-closing from tiredness when she breathes out softly and approaches her again. “Erika, get in the bath. It’ll be quick.”
The little girl shakes her head, hugging her knees to her chest. “I don’t want to.”
“Sometimes, I don’t want to either, but you have to.” She announces, taking a seat next to her to run her fingers through her hair. “Come on, Eri, it’s just a bath.”
“Nope.” The little girl mumbles, growing more annoyed by the second.
“You’ll stink. You don’t want anyone to smell your scent if it’s bad.”
“It’s okay.”
“Someone will come visit us.” She doesn’t know why that’s the first excuse she comes up with. Truth be told, none of her friends live in this city, and her family are nowhere near either. Loneliness is something she is used to, and she doesn’t like being the house’s host all that much, either. “And you really like them, so we need to bathe you before they come.”
Erika raises her eyebrows, a big smile appearing on her face: “Peppa?”
“No, not Peppa.” From the back of her mind, she can’t think of anybody who will come here that Erika really likes. She’s not entirely obsessed with Blue, and the woman is too old to take a taxi here. She is not sure who Erika likes apart from her…and Sachiko is not here. “Ah…” Think, think, think. “Yoonoh, my…uh…my boyfriend. He’s coming over.” 
The title makes her cringe, but Erika stands up in her couch, hair wild and little fists connecting to her shirt when she says: “He’s coming! You didn’t tell me!”
“Oh, I was just waiting for you to take a bath first.” She tries to sound smart, but this is the worst idea she could have. Sure, she saved his number when she was making that bill for the rented ballroom, but that has been about it. Never texted him, never planned to, much less to tell him to come over and pretend to be her boyfriend just so Erika takes a goddamned shower.
“I will! Hurray!” Erika moves away from the couch, rushing over to take off her clothes.
“I’ll go fill up the bathtub in a sec, okay?”
“Yes!”
This is the worst idea she has ever had.
By the time she hears the door to the guest room closing, she sighs deeply, going over to the kitchen to unplug her phone and look down at her contact list. Her heart is racing, eyebrows frowned in worry when she sees it in glimmering lights:
Jung Yoonoh (Never Respond. Not Even If You’re Dying).
She’s not dying, but she definitely feels like it.
Whenever she got a cut as a kid and she put a band-aid on it, she took the band-aid off in one harsh tug. It’d rip some hairs apart, but it wouldn’t hurt—it wouldn’t make her hesitate as much as she did. This is one of those decisions that need to be done that way; as if she’s drunk and she needs to call her ex, or as if buying that dress that she’ll never wear sounds like a good idea today.
The phone rings a few times and she paces back and forth in the kitchen, giving a few puffs out and jumping in place before she hears it.
“Hello?”
His voice is to die for. One of those melodies that anyone wants to hear when they are waking up, mumbling sweet nothings, promising whatever the hell sounds great at the time, and it’s so dangerous that it has her closing her eyes, trying to fight a shiver and not exactly of anxiousness.
“Yoonoh, I need your help.”
A bead of silence follows soon after, and it comes as a surprise when he mumbles her name. She hums in return. “Why are you calling me? How do you have my phone?”
“Don’t ask.” She tells him, about to start her rant when Yoonoh cuts her off with a deep chuckle.
“You stole it from my bill.”
Caught, yet, she places a hand on her waist. “I wanted to save it just in case you decided to call me and make my day more difficult.”
“Oh, if I called you, it’d be to ease any kind of stress.” He purrs out, making her groan out loud when a lighter laugh from him comes about. “What can I help you with, ice princess?”
“Stop it with the names.”
“Boss?”
“I said—”
“Stop it with the names, I know. I will.”
When there is another pause, she knows she can speak, so she does. “…Erika believes we are in a relationship.” He doesn’t scream at the idea or laugh straight at her face, so she sighs. “And she’s also like madly connected to you. Seriously, she never stops talking about you and how you were so cool and whatnot. She only agreed to bathing now that I told her my…” She clears her throat. Shit, this is awkward. “My boyfriend is coming to visit, but you’re my supposed boyfriend and you’re nowhere around. I was wondering if you could come over, I don’t know, for like thirty minutes and then leave, just to fulfill that promise.”
Another elongated silence comes soon after, but it’s followed by a hum from Yoonoh.
“You didn’t say we were friends,” He teases, and she rolls her eyes at his antics. “You still went on with the boyfriend thing. Something you want to tell me?”
“Erika thinks we are together.”
“Erika meaning you.”
“I would personally sew my lips if we were to be in a relationship, Yoonoh.”
He chuckles, though she hears some moving. “Why? You’d want to make out with me so badly that you would want to stop yourself?”
“You wish.”
“Kinda.” Yoonoh confesses and it sounds like a pin falling to the floor. It makes her anxious, because the idea of being trapped in his arms, mouths molding into each other, breaths mixing, tongue intertwining is not so bad when in theory. “So, where do you live?”
“You’re coming?”
“Yeah, but in like forty-five.”
With that, she gives him the address, only to hear Yoonoh breathing into the microphone.
“So, my dear girlfriend, my beloved future wife,” Those dramatics that come with him make her want to slice him in half, but she keeps on just for Erika. “…How long have we been together, exactly?”
“…Since my headaches started coming daily.” She responds, hearing pattering in the hallway. “Call me when you’re here, okay?”
Once she hangs up, she sees Erika ready for a bath by the kitchen’s door, waving her hands in the air.
“Let’s go!”
Kids are nightmares.
###
Epoch hats don’t fit him well, Yoonoh realizes as he sits on a little stool that barely can hold his weight, knees practically touching his chest as he plays tea-house with Erika and her babysitter. Or well, her mom’s worker that happens not to know how to say no.
Erika had gone over the top to make this a grand event, the Peppa Pig plushie he had brought with him when entering the apartment seated in front of Erika, while he stares ahead at the woman that has his mind a complete mess. She is wearing a pair of wings on her shoulders, and her clothing is different, still not letting him see much, but the baggy t-shirt and sweatpants still fit her nicely.
The roles are simple. Erika is the princess, and they are their Aunt and Uncle. Peppa Pig is her sister, and that’s about as much as he knows as he sips on the two-point-five milliliters of water with lemon that Erika dares call tea.
“More tea, please.” Yoonoh says when placing the small cup down and looking at the woman ahead of him. She is the one serving the tea, yet, she quirks an eyebrow at him.
“That’s your fourth cup.” She explains, shaking her head when he tries to reach for the tea. “You’ve already had enough. You’re doing it just to see me serving you.”
“While the sight is adorable, beautiful, this cup is the size of my pinky. I can’t even feel it going down my throat.” He waves the little cup in his pinky before trying to reach for the tea again. “I’ll serve myself if it makes you feel better.”
“You’re too sweet-mouthed…” She looks over at Erika, inspecting them with interest. “Sugarplum.”
“Sugarplum?” Yoonoh questions the nickname, pouring himself a cup of tea when snatching it from her hands before leaning his weight forward, taking a sip that has him downing the entire drink. “I’m not sweet, don’t know if you’re noticed.”
“Quite clearly.”
“May change my ways for you if you stop judging me.” His eyes trail over her features, the culprit of his playfulness spreading across his face.
“Oh, I happen to be very judgmental.”
“Get to know me,” He waves his finger on top of the cup, tracing the outline only to see her gulp soon after. “…I promise the last thing you’ll end up doing is hating me.”
Erika stands up in between the two, her little hands spreading on their chests when she says: “Princes and princesses don’t fight.”
“We’re not fighting, Eri.” She tells her, though she sends a glare his way. “Right, sugarplum?”
“Of course, beautiful.” He uses that same nickname, relishing on the way she seems to be seething at the name. Truth be told, he knows that she’s, at least, a bit attracted to him…but whatever is stopping her must be strong enough to have her stopping on her tracks that first night. His lips wrap up in a kiss he sends flying in the air before adding: “We actually love each other. My kingdom is now better because I have found my truest love.”
“Yeah…” She trails, looking over to the side before she takes a sip of her own tea. “How’s the collection going?”
That question surprises him. She must have supposed he was a designer, much more after all he did in her hotel, but he didn’t think she was paying attention from up close.
“It’s not a collection.” Sweetly, he corrects, voice lowered when he puts the cup down. “I—I’m only working on this one fit. An outfit. We design lingerie, as you could see. I’m normally in the women design department, but my boss which is an absolute…” He stops, looking at Erika. “Witch, changed me to the men’s department just to freak up my head.”
A small chuckle trips out of her lips at the choices of his cusses. “So, you were designing Jungwoo’s fit?”
“Precisely.” Yoonoh takes his phone out of his pocket before displaying something only for her to see. “Erika, you can’t see this. It’s…it’s not something you should be seeing, okay?”
And actually, she listens. Yoonoh can’t understand why she says that Erika never listens to anybody. Her eyes trail over to Jungwoo, and the way they scan up and down have something within him tugging his phone away.
“That’s my design.”
“You’re talented.” Those words shouldn’t weight as much as they do, but he hasn’t heard them in a while. Perhaps, in two years. “If only you weren’t so much of a butt-face whenever we speak, I’m sure that part of you would show through.”
“What part of me?”
“The part that doesn’t try to hide that you care.”
That’s the moment Yoonoh backs away, because he shouldn’t care. It’s easier to go through life without caring about the people around you. The small stool falls behind him just as he stands up, clearing his throat after a harsh swallow.
“I have to go.”
Erika stands up as well, eyes widened. “Is it because she called you butt-face?”
Yoonoh chuckles, ruffling her hair with one hand. “No, I—I think I left my stove on at home.”
He hears the sound of her picking up her keys, nodding in the process. “I’ll walk you there. Don’t worry. Erika, stay here.”
The hallway that leads to her door is far too cramped for the two of them, his shoulders brushing with hers as they walk alongside each other. The part of you that doesn’t try to hide that you care; it’s not like he cares about her past the normalcy of two people who happen to be attracted towards each other buy deny it—
He turns around, his chest expanding with each breath that she takes, oxygens mingling when he looks down at her features, those lips that he would have kissed if granted the permission, but instead he asks:
“Is that why you hate me?”
She doesn’t listen, a deer caught in the headlights when she questions: “What?”
“Because you think I don’t care. Is that why you hate me?” He questions, only to have her shaking her head. His fingers hook a strand of her hair behind her ear, feeling the heat of her skin, much like that one time he had touched it.
“I don’t hate you.” She confesses, honest and yet surprising, before she breathes out in a shudder. “…Sometimes, it’s better to not wonder, Yoonoh. Not be curious about people like you. Not because you’re bad, but because you’re not right, either.” She shrugs her shoulders. “Stop looking at my lips, it distracts me.”
Yoonoh trails his eyes up before engulfing the words in his plush lips. “And what about you?” He questions. “If I’m all types of wrong, what are you?”
“All the different types of wrong that aren’t yours.” She says, just as his chest brushes with her own again, her stomach extending, back bending, body molding closer to his just because of electricity and gravity, she opens the door, releasing a breath that feels like a million pounds of weight. “Good night, Yoonoh, and thank you.”
He nods, and while he wants to return the words, he can’t.
###  
Four Years Ago.
She never came back.
Sometimes, Yoonoh felt stupid for believing that there was someone in the other side of the computer. That said chatroom that had once started as complete curiousness had now turned into something else, tangible, present in his every day. He was young, his eyes wandered, his mind stopped thinking about the importance of his future and he thought that Dami was it. The woman of his dreams, the picture that he couldn’t take out of his head when he laid still at night and looked at his ceiling.
His friends made fun of him, because this is not the Jung Yoonoh that had gotten secret notes during Valentine’s Day in high school with love confessions and promises of marriage. This was a young man, seated in front of a computer, waiting for an answer. Waiting for the day she returned, after she said that she’d come back. It was only supposed to be a lunch break, but with no contact other than this chatroom, than what they had in social media, how was he supposed to get in touch with her?
JJH1997: Hey, did I do something wrong? (Three weeks ago.)
JJH1997: Hello! How are you doing? Are you okay? (Three weeks ago.)
JJH1997: I bought that one record you told me about. (One day and a half ago.)
JJH1997: [Picture Attached]. (One day and a half ago.)
JJH1997: Are you mad? (Thirteen hours ago.)
JJH1997: I’m sorry if I offended you. (One hour ago.)
The reply he got soon after, as he was studying for one of his finals, had him widening his eyes. She had not answered in weeks, this was the best news he could hear—
DAMISONG96: This is her husband. Who are you? (Just Now).
His hands shook, trying to find the words to say. Husband. All this time, he had been talking about a future with someone with a husband…
DAMISONG96: I’ve just read your messages. Stop talking to my wife, you fucking kid.
[This contact has blocked you].
The worst part was that he could never know if it was a catfish, if the person he talked about was real…or, actually, that he could never apologize, perhaps for ruining a marriage that he never knew of.
Love doesn’t come easy when you don’t know how to trust. 
### 
The reason why he became a lingerie designer instead of any other kind of designer is because of the subtlety. His friends think that it is because of the obvious love Yoonoh has for the human body, but as he sits on the front row of his own show, staring at the Silhouette designs his team had worked on, with harsh white lights matching the upbeat and bass-boosted songs that have models swinging their hips from side to side, he feels proud and more.
Jungwoo is the next one to come, and all signs of his beam is long forgotten as he struts down that runway. At first, he does it simply, how he’s taught, the buttons of his jacket are done, undoing them as he walks to showcase the crop top underneath, only pulling it down and turning around to throw the jacket aside and show the top and the chains, along with Silhouette’s name on the band of his boxers. It’s perhaps something not seen in the streets, but he can imagine celebrities falling in love with the design.
He’s concentrated on the faces of the people ahead of him, cheers resounding around the air as Jungwoo finishes off his catwalk. The invitees seem to be overjoyed, and just when a smile creeps up his features, fixing his stance in his tailored black suit, he feels a hand spreading on his thigh, a chuckle being breath out in his ear.
“You’ve done a great job, Yoonoh.” Siyeon speaks with certainty, and to anyone, they are just two friends congratulating each other. He does great work in feigning a smile when turning to her, but what he says is not so kind.
“Thank you. I’m known for that.”
“I know…if we don’t compare that to your organization problems and your endless witty mouth.” Siyeon starts clapping when another model comes around before a beam appears on her features.
Something doesn’t feel right.
“…And what about it?”
Siyeon’s long silver earrings move when she turns to him, quirking an eyebrow in the process. “Well, you see, Yoonoh, the reason why I wanted you to craft a showstopper and to leave with a bang is because…” The acids in his stomach go up, nervousness creeping up on him, trying to keep the dimples there to no avail. “You’re no longer going to be part of our team. Out of all the designs you’ve done, this is your best, but you proved yourself right a little too late. Sorry.”
She’s not sorry, and he knows this. The smile that he has fought so hard to keep there is no longer of his interest as he stands up, pointing at her while scowling.
“You can’t do that.”
“Yoonoh, you’re making a scene.” She tries to chuckle through her words.
“I’ve been working for this fucking company for two years and I haven’t slacked once.”
“Says you,” Siyeon shrugs. “I’m in charge, Yoonoh, and I saw you’re slacking.”
“Fuck you.”
“Have heard that before.”
The air around him engulfs him in a way that almost makes him feel like he’s trapped. He’s out of the expensive hotel Siyeon had found in seconds, but yet, he feels like he has run a marathon. His eyes concentrate anywhere, hand coming up to his chest, his dream shattered when trying to give this company another chance—
The night whisks him in the face as he runs, not caring to grab a taxi, not minding that he feels like his life is falling down…because this is stupid. Life is so fucking ironic that he hates it. He trusts people? He ends up losing. He doesn’t trust them? They never believe him.
What’s the realest way to get a happy ending? He’ll never know.
### 
Eight hours of sleep feel marvelous once she gets them back.
Not only has she gotten to return her calls, but it doesn’t smell like baby food in her apartment and she gets to take a break from Peppa Pig. Erika had been sad when letting go of her, pressing her face to her stomach in a hug before she was off to holding onto her mother for dear life. Her paycheck came around, life was good, and this night was excellent with the bag of savory chips she had just opened.
The crunch is the only thing that can be heard, mingling with the noise of the romantic movie she is watching, tears wielding her vision and yet, she pushes them away. Tragedies are the best form of romance—when both characters have gone through so much that finding happiness in each other feels a thousand times more personal. Perfect, even. It’s a nice chance for her romantic comedy binge from earlier.
The air is interrupted when she hears someone ringing her doorbell, and that brings a frown to her features. First, she’s not waiting for anybody. Secondly, she had been crying just now. Grabbing a napkin, she taps it against her ears and waltzes over to the door to see who is standing by the door through the peephole.
And if there was a sight that could capture her breath away just as much as it could make her be excited about something, it’s this.
Yoonoh stands outside her door, with the buttons of his shirt half-opened, a peak of his shirt showing, his jacket thrown haphazardly over one forearm, and if only this peephole let her see lower, she would relish on the strength of his thighs. Confusing or not, as well as a bit annoying, one can’t deny that Yoonoh is extremely handsome. Taken out of a magazine, even.
She opens the door softly, unaware of why he is there. Today, the runway for Silhouette should be happening and yet, he’s here, at 10:45 at night, with his hair made a mess and his eyes trailing on her.
“Yoonoh,” He doesn’t stop looking at her eyes, a frown in his features. “Hi…uh…may I help you with something?”
“You’re right.” He starts, entering her house just as she moves to the side. He must be in a rush. The door closes behind her. “I try not to care about things. I don’t take relationships seriously. I’m an asshole at most times. I’m fake and boring and quite clearly, all kinds of wrong.” Well, that is a statement. She knows there is some good for Yoonoh. He’s always one call away, he’s organized, he’s given. He’s strong and rampant and fiery, in that way that have people shuddering in their spots.
“So?”
“So, yes, I’m fucking tired of being that because it doesn’t work.” He stands in front of her now, in that same hallway that had trapped them weeks ago and had managed to make her even more confused. “I just lost my job and I don’t know what the hell I am going to do with my life. I was used and—fuck!”
Her heart weights down when he admits that. “Why would you lose your job? That outfit you designed for Jungwoo is amazing…”
“Because my new boss hates me, just like you do.”
“I said I didn’t hate you.”
“Then why?” Yoonoh questions. “Why did you run away that night? What about me is so repulsive that you can’t even look my way without frowning when all I have been thinking about since that moment I saw you in the restaurant, in nice light, after getting me some clothes, is that you’re the kindest and most humble woman I have ever met and I would do my fucking best to kiss away every fucking insecurity you have about me?”
Silence comes to be awkward around them. Or, well, filled with tension. But this silence is of understanding. Yoonoh’s eyes that night, that had scanned her with such intricacy, had thought about the same things that she did. And yet, she had let it slide—because it’s easier to fear than to try, to run away than to stay.
“Because…you’re difficult, Yoonoh.” She states. “And I don’t mean it in a bad way. I just know…I know I would like you.” That makes her ego blot down the slightest. “And then, when you realize that kissing me is not enough, that waking up to me is not enough, that I won’t give you whatever interesting shit you were doing when I found you outside that house, you’ll leave…and I’m not at an age or time in my life where I want to see you leave without an explanation. I don’t.”
He finally reconnects his gaze with her eyes. “The explanation here is simple,” He conquers. “You’re beautiful. Each part of you I get to see and each part I don’t. Every bit of my imagination can only think about you, so much that everything I design is everything my mind gushes about and can only perceive on you. It’s stupid enough that…” He chuckles at his own antics, leaning his head back on the wall. “That I think about what color fits you best and I am certain it’s not the navy blue you like to use. It’s yellow, because you’re so bright it practically burns my fucking eyes. You’re so smart and given and you don’t even let me tell you that, because you’re always…pushing me away.”
“Yoonoh—” Her heart flutters at his words, but he doesn’t stop talking.
“And you’re your own kind of goddess and it drives me insane, because I was the type of dumbass that didn’t like the chase, but each and every time I hear you speak, I just want to tease you more and…” He stops for a second, finally fixing his position to look at her. “I just wanted you to know, because if I’ll never get a chance, at least I want to say I—”
Silences are what made them. It’s what she likes the most about him, when he’s silent and concentrated, when all his might goes to one thing and one thing only. She doesn’t know what overtakes her at that moment, when her lips clash against his in a dance that it’s much too passionate. She can’t keep up with whatever she wants to do, her hands hooked around his waist to mold him against the wall, his abdomen carved against hers when a groan traps itself on the back of his throat and he grabs the back of her head, taking more of her in, granting himself entrance, rubbing his lips in a tempting touch before he’s diving in for air…and she’s his oxygen.
Yoonoh’s hold is not strong, overly passionate, tumbling. In his own way, Yoonoh is delicate. It’s just when she kisses him that she realizes there is a beautiful thing to Jung Yoonoh. The delicacy he portrays in lingerie, that translate into his utter fears. The pristine glass he is when she caresses his neck with a touch of her mouth and he shudders while grasping the back of her shirt, asking to see her—to be seen.
When heartbreak happens, there is always a dot. That one finalization of a chapter in your heart that aches insufferably. Her dots connected to him, in one way or another, in the moles in his face or the way he begs to connect to her lips again when she pulls away. He’s gravity when she asks to be taken to her room in one simplistic glance and he’s smiling by the time he puts her down on the sheets.
Over all, Yoonoh is a lover of beauty, and maybe, for once in her life, she feels like art, just when he throws her shirt over her head, staring down at small portions of her body being shown before showing that dimple that she had trained herself to hate.
But who is she kidding? She didn’t hate it at all.
“…You were forbidding me of this.” He points at her body, earning laughter from her, ears heated up under his gaze. “And for that, I’ll never forgive you.”
That night, it’s not a promise of love—it’s lust mixed with something else, that fluttering feeling of having a crush, maybe, or the start of something…how he calls it…beautiful.
###
Normally, Yoonoh doesn’t text. He hooks up with someone, leaves it in the air, then moves on to working. Awakening in his lover’s bed, having breakfast with her, arguing in that way that only they know how to do—playfully, of course—and then having to see him himself off just so she can go to work, however, is completely different.
Just as he lays on his bed midway through the day, he looks at her contact. Missing her would be a statement, and it would be absolutely correct. His gut twists, not knowing exactly what to say—new and yet old in this dating thing.
Uh, can he call it that? They haven’t even gotten out on a date.
Yoonoh: We haven’t gotten out on a date.
Yoonoh: Do you want to?
She must be near the phone, because she replies quickly.
Beautiful: If I slept with you, I obviously want to go on a date with you.
Beautiful: Duh.
There is the bite that he likes, enough to bring a smile to his face before he’s biting down on his lip.
Yoonoh: You didn’t sleep with me when I was employed, wearing suits, confident and flirty. Your standards? Very low.
Beautiful: You’re complaining? Because I could not do it again.
Yoonoh: Who said I was complaining? I was trying the whole time and just when I’m a huge loser, I get the girl.
His life seems to be twisted in circles, cycles that he don’t know how to stop, but a text from her gives him hope that he’ll figure it out.
Beautiful: You’re not a loser. I don’t date losers.
Beautiful: Dinner tonight? I brought a sandwich, but that’s bland.
Yoonoh: It’s a date.
A few seconds pass by before he’s typing again.
Yoonoh: Wait, how do you have me saved in your phone?
A screenshot comes soon after, and he doubles over in laughter when he sees ‘Sugarplum (DNI)’.
###
She has forgotten how to say it, and it’s not like it’s another language, but nervousness clads her every pore just as she sits down by a table at Erika’s seventh birthday party.
Five months into this dating thing, and she doesn’t understand most of it. What she knows is that it feels great. Waking up next to Yoonoh—her place or his—, being kissed on the cheeks, on her forehead, only to be ravished by one of those kisses that he only knows how to give. To watch him grow away from his fears and create his own lingerie line, obviously with the support of his model friends that were eager to take pictures with his pieces and make do with what they have.
It’s difficult, but just as Yoonoh lowers Erika after hoisting her up in the air, always charming with her and with anyone, she doesn’t know how to say it. You know, those three words that have captured her ever since Yoonoh smiled at all her baby pictures, or when he spends some extra time in the kitchen making her favorite meal just because he feels like pampering her.
Three words that she has said before, even jokingly, and yet, she’s petrified.
The trees are tall in the backyard of Sachiko’s home, yellows and reds contrasting the feeling in her heart. It’s pure pink, just like the glow on Yoonoh’s cheeks or that set he had once sewed himself just for her, the one that he never gets enough of and still groans at. Childish music and cake should be enough to calm her down, but just as Yoonoh plops himself alongside her, resting his head on his forearm on the picnic table she’s by, all words she had practiced are lost.
How does he have that effect after five months?
“Erika loved the gift.” Even their gifts had been united. From Uncle Prince and Aunt Princess, they had written on the note. A doll that she had been screaming about months ago when they had visited her.
That word, even he is saying it. If Jung Yoonoh is capable of spitting it out, why couldn’t she—?
“You look like you’re sick.”
That makes her sigh. “Thanks. I don’t see you complaining.”
Yoonoh’s smile grows wider at that, rolling a piece of her hair in between his index finger. “I like the sick look.” He replies. “Something about the sight of a girl who wants to throw up on me. So sexy I could take you to a bathroom right now and just—”
“Yoonoh!”
“There it is, not so sick anymore. Now you’re angry.” He has his ways, she has to admit, and even when finds herself laughing when he changes that glimmer of his eyes that always gets him what he wants. “What’s with you?”
She opens her mouth, placing a piece of cake inside of it—just a little bit too big—when she says: “I love you.”
Or whatever can be understood in between a mouthful of cake.
Yoonoh quirks a perfectly styled brow. “You what?”
“I love you.” She utters out, swallowing soon after before giving him a smile. “Okay, alright, I’m done here—”
His hands gravitate to her hips before she could stand up, sitting her down on his thigh and bringing her face to his by her chin before asking, much too close and too softly for her to ever resist him. “You what?” He repeats, much more delicately, and finally, she finds the reason to stop being nervous.
Those brown eyes look from her eyes to her lips, never getting enough of her, never knowing how to battle the thoughts that show on his features. That kind of adoration she has never gotten before, and that is worth trying for.
She hides her face in his neck, breathing in his scent before spitting out: “I love you.”
It brushes against his skin, tickles him in a way that has him tightening his hold before he replies: “Sounds so good when someone means it.” And that confession is only meant for her to be understood, before he’s pressing a kiss to the crown of her head. “I love you, too.”
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goddessjynx · 3 years
Text
Any parent please answer?
Idk if anyone will see this, but right now I need just anyone to tell me I'm not crazy.
Am I a bad friend for wanting to hang out with my ex-bestie (eb for short) while she has her kids or she's busy and can't hang, so I offer to come over, to help watch, to help clean? Anything just to be there for her, why? Oh because she was on her third child, at this time I literally went over to her house to play dnd with her husband and brother and her sometimes. So I would try and say "hi" or talk, but instead we stayed doing something else or barely said hi. Ok, fine, hormones, got it. It got to the point of she wouldn't want to hang out with me for reasons she stopped telling me decent sounding excuses. Fine, That's fine, I have other friends who I can hang with or find other things to stay inside and not get out of the house to do. I don't need to leave the house, to get away from the suffocating inside the house with a mentally and verbally abusive, controlling husband. That's. Just. Fine.
So you know, time goes on. we find out that the reason she won't hang out with me, but will hang out with the other girl who she hates (Mind you the other chick literally broke into their house, tried to start drama all the time, and be hazardous to her already two children But who am I to judge about the person you rant to me about how you hate them so much?) But the other chick was also pregnant after divorcing her wife. It's honestly such a mess. So "anyways, I get excluded now because I "Don't understand what she's going through" or "I won't have the same experience" or I'm "not a good source of help" Lol, Okay? I still can't help? Be happy for you? Cool. So things go on, and just things have gotten worse on my end. I'm over here with such a mind debilitating baby fever, that I'm having to pull my car over watching children get off the school bus because I'm in such a crying fit that I can't breathe or see straight. So who the hell would I go to about what do I do? My Bestie right? (There's a reason we are eb rn) I tell her, well try, Idk how much she actually listened. But I tell her how I just can't think about anything else right now. I did everything right, and the world keeps slapping me back.
I own a 4 bedroom house. we have two cars, we even have decently everything working out in our favor, But all of a sudden, I'm not good enough for anyone. My own husband two months after getting married said he hasn't found me attractive for the last two years. THAnks. That's a real boost. This didn't start the fights, but that's a whole other set of rants. about a year before my eb got pregnant, around or right before July 4th, I strictly remember, I was in the walmart fucking bathroom. I had felt so sick the weeks beforehand. Like, My menstrual cycle hates me. She's savage af. Not to mention she likes to disappear randomly and appear with just cramps or a whole flood. I never know. But I remember calling my husband in a panic because I don't know what to do while I had to go to the bathroom so bad it hurt, and all I have is half dollar sized clots. Just something my medical brain, and senior year of AP biology says, "Fuck!" I have him figure something out because I'm really needing someone to just hold me in the bathroom I feel so sick to my stomach. I'm dizzy and all these symptoms I tell him to tell the doctor or whoever he calls.. So he calls, they say whatever to him. I don't either remember or he never told me what they said, (this is a normal of hiding information from me, A LOT) They said (What he told me) to just wipe things up and clean up then if it persists in the next 24 hours to go into the hospital. But I will have to see an ob-gyn.
So, Okay. Nothing bad. but they are in charge of everything along those lines. But those were including two words, that I now know were the two words this man didn't want to hear despite, DESPITE all the teasing and jokes about having kids with me when I was younger with him and literally just dating. That was because I had to see a family planning doctor. I was told by HIM that it was nothing, and we will be fine. I just blamed it on my cramps that are horrible and never put thought to it because I had believed that's what he was told. So that's a trauma my brain locked away until recently as I'm going through my divorce right now. But, I was thinking about how shortly after that, I got a call from my eb about how they were all waiting on me because I'm making us late for bringing stuff to the grill out and bonfire later. Fine, mask all the pain and keep fucking going. right?
She seemed genuinely not worried, saying it was probably just a bad cycle. She gets them all the time too. Its whatever. My now bestie's sister has gone through the same thing I described multiple times, enough that she looked at me and was like, "No, You possibly miscarried." even her mom went on about, "they should've never NEVER brushed that off like they did. If they cared then they would've made sure you were ok. My husband denied me from going to the doctor to see anything about it. Even after when I knew my hormones and emotions were just soooo off. But that's in my mind now, when before maybe around the same time my eb came out saying to all of us even her own husband one time saying she's been feeling crummy because she went in and she found out she had miscarried. It was so short after my stuff that she disregarded then took and made attention for herself that upset her own husband because she never told him until she told a bunch of us at a bar. I mean I felt bad for her, but Now thinking back, my gut says it was a ploy to make her husband to feel bad for her and to try for another one. Where as I'm over here waiting patiently because I jumped through Hoops to get where I'm at now.
My husband promised me children. Lots, its a fucking dream to be a mum. I care for everyone else, and their kids, why not have some kind of mini me to show of what I did. That I did good. That I can be useful to this world too. That I'm not just a lump of no good nothing to this world. But first, he needed a better paying job than a gas station.
Did that, he worked at a metal parts production place. But we then gave the fact that we still live in the apartment I got after moving out from high school. We rented a house. It worked, and it was nice. But now he needs a car, but he cant do that until he learns how to drive. 3 years older than me and I taught him how to drive. AND I helped him buy his first car, a truck. Oh but now, we still can't start a family. We are only renting. I have enough good credit that I could get a house alone, but I needed a higher pay. Bam with his income together we got a house.
Bam, I'm hit with baby fever and what not. NOW I get told, we aren't ready for anything like that yet, so wait two years. Alright, I'll wait. I can do that. We were going to go on trips together and do many things together and all of a sudden, the walmart thing happened, and it just got worse from there. It got to a point I got a job paying BETTER than him and I was the laughing stock to him and his buddies. THANKS. But I'm fine, everything is fine. The walmart thing was about two years after, so I mean, it was actually in the time frame and whatnot. Things just kept going on getting worse at home, I just kept listening. For reasons, I had to quit my high paying job, and then everything got absolutely horrible at home. Had to put everything I had control over money wise into his account for he worried it would take too long to find an new job and make money to suffice for bills. It was argument after argument, but I went to my eb explaining things, asking what the hell do I do? Her advice? To just do what he wants. The thing I had to quit about? She basically never cared about it. Everything just went on being a mess. I went on just letting people walk over me because that was the advice I was given.
I voiced my feelings that I have been following lies and how I feel hurt that I'm told dreams and having them be taken away. We never went on trips much. Instead we would buy a crap ton of ammo or new guns that I'm not allowed to use, yet I'm helping fund so you can get them, but when it was my own that I BOUGHT, all of a sudden, my things went missing and he would be out using and letting his buddies use my new guns and using up the ammo I had purchased on my own. I mean, fine, but let me at LEAST take yours out if you're going to use mine without asking. It got to be so annoying that we would be asked when we would get married or when we would have kids. He would be hugging me and smiling all cocky saying "Oh well we haven't stopped trying." every time. He would start that tell people this and I finally had enough. I stopped him and told him to put his money where his mouth was. He always said shit but never actually did it or acted on what he said. He would just lie to everyone. Tell people lies because it sounded nice. Best part? I had bought a ring for him. I proposed to him because he would joke about things like that. So I basically said, "bet" and did it. I have never received a damn ring! He wouldn't even want to look at them with me. Because they were expensive. Not all of them are. I don't care what price it is, but something to say, "Hey, I love you and Don't want the odd peeps at the bar to keep hitting on you so take this with you, its dangerous out there." (Shut up. I'm a nerd) But like.... I just would make notions about, I wanted a ring. He would beg me to pool together money and buy new guns, I mean I"m not against, but I would bring up that I will want a ring. Or even something else would be you know, amazing right now because I'm in a lost place wanting kids still and my eb just announced they were having their third. (which her own family was so upset about it that they ranted to me and my mom, her own brother said that its just another kid that they will end up taking care of instead of her so she can go to the bars again. Yep) So next we talked about getting a gun safe because, before we can have kids, we need to be SAFE. Ight, we bought it. Nice matte black 33 capacity, fire and water proof, best part the front had a reallly pretty engraved waving American flag imprinted on it. It was just so smooth. (Guess who has that right now btw) So oddly enough in the middle of me not being enough for my eb, My cycle kind of returned to being semi regular, and all of a sudden disappeared. Well that whole month beforehand we went from never wanting to touch me unless it was my birthday to every night he was angry after work and took it out on me instead. I mean, whatever. But when it came to me not feeling well, I told him.
Instantly it wasn't mine. I was fooling with other guys. Like instant psycho. His childhood friend came and moved up with us, she saw this for a good few months and had to move out because he was trying to control her as if she were a child. She told me that it was not right for him to be that way and that she will never talk to him for how he treated her. (which was exactly how he was always with me too) I'm not sure if he was trying to get my jealous because his bff was a girl? Idk we worked out like literally sisters. Sooo much in common and she told me, She believes he's never wanted kids. And she watched how I broke down after he told me he wanted nothing to do with me until I took a test. He DEMANDED that I took a test right away. If it was positive, it wasn't his until proven so. And if it was negative he would be fine. this was ridiculous. He wasn't at all happy or excited. Purely upset. I felt so shitty that after the test was negative I told him and he threatened about it happening again he was leaving back to Kansas. He threatened this every damn fight, it got to the point that I gave up, I said leave then. And instantly he shut up. I got him out of gangs, crime, jail, living on the street or with his mum, and being a maaajor drug addict. Yet I'M THE BAD PERSON.
Back to recently when my eb is getting closer to having her kid, I just go through finding out I'm not and my husband is freaking out at me, nonstop yelling at me that I'm not good enough and all this shit. Yes, lil ol me trying to keep the peace in the house is a cunt and a whore. Wow. Name calling, but hitting where it hurts? I told him before, how my mother in an argument said I would be a horrible mother. And that shit sticks. IT STICKS. So what does the smart ass pull out? He repeats it. He says he's glad I'm not pregnant because I'd be a horrible mother in the end.
That. That just kills a person. That kills dreams and the feeling of wanting to keep living. Who the FUCK says that to their partner? Am I wrong for thinking that's not right? Well my eb thought I was. I told her my feelings. How I don't want to be jealous of her, but I am. That she's more beautiful, she's always had guys hitting on her in school inviting her to do things and hang out, I was the nerd in whatever class that got invited only if it was mandatory. She will be having three kids and a loving husband that can never take his hands or eyes from her, where as I have to act like a clown to get my husband to look up from his damn phone. To say something nice. To
be acknowledged while in the house. I've left and came back the next morning because I hung out at my now besties house. He didn't say a word until I came home the next morning and he looked at me like "when the fuck did you leave" No care, no love. I was stuck being a burden. Anything I ever did around the house was in vain. Everything I helped with I got shoved away because I didn't do it right. EVERYTHING I did was not good enough. I would tell him this that is how I felt and he would deny it. One day, I caught him yelling at me saying that what I did wasn't ever good enough. Calle him out right away. Bitch... He tried to change the wording to go around what he said. I HEARD IT. it was so bad I had to have my bestie on the phone to listen to how he talked to me behind closed doors. Away from public view. HER MOM HEARD IT. Thought she was watching some kind of dramatic show, until she realized it was me on the phone. She's listened to so many calls its unheard of. There was a day, I had enough of it. (Ok A lot actually) but I grabbed my laptop and my charger and left the house. I sat in the park drawing on my laptop. Texted every person I could think of that I cared so deeply for that they would care for me back. I was in a dark ass place asking for Advice. My eb shrugged off what my husband was doing and scolded me for leaving. For sitting in a park drawing out my feelings instead of being with him because he's being dramatic to her husband upset that I started an argument. I didn't understand what I started when it was over me telling him not to throw the controller when he loses a COD game because that's how it breaks. Why he threw it? Because I distracted him by playing with my cat while he was playing the damn game and made him lose! yep. Exactly that. So I was yelled at to quit. So I did. I went back to my drawing and then with my headphones on I was humming to my music. It distracted him and he lost. So I flipped out because I can't do anything in my own house without being scolded for it. So I stormed off to the bedroom to draw some more. I'm upstairs and away from him. Didn't want to eat now I'm stressed and upset. So I didn't cook anything and now he's hungry and upset at me for not making food yet. YES. That's how it started and I again was the bad person in the story for safely removing myself from an environment where all my mind was telling me to do was dark things that hurt to say. To give up on everything I have worked for and all my dreams.
That was the last time I spoke to her for a while because everything started to be only about baby and about doing this for baby. Doing that for baby. But then she would never answer me back. I was done trying to fit time to hang out. To do something, I made new friends who didn't have kids and hung out more with them. It got horrible. the sound of a child crying made my stomach hurt. I had non stop dreams of the same thing happening. It was just awful. I looked it up and it was just meaning I had something and lost it. Whatever is missing in the dream what what I had lost.
In this dream I was dressed in all black, lace and long dress covering every inch of skin on my body. I had a hat with a veil and I was rocking a bundle in my arms in an old decrepit room with peeling paint and broken toys. It was a nursery. An old ruined nursery. I was rocking just a black blanket swaddled with a hole that emptied to the void. It gives me chills, I get this dream so much that me explaining just makes my skin crawl and my body ache. It hurts to think of but I just cannot understand it. Makes sense now that I looked into it.
But me going through all of this, I can't talk to my husband about my feelings because I'm too needy and being selfish for not taking his feelings into an account. That he's not ready that we are not ready and that I'm not ready because I'm going to be a horrible mom. Cool.
I have tried so much. I couldn't be around kids. It made me so sick and I jus would have to find somewhere to hide and cry for hours. I would cry myself to sleep. Never getting comfort by him because I'm throwing a pity party. I was so hurt. Still am. I'm broken hearted. Thinking that if I had a kid, at least I would have something that needed me and would love the care I gave and would love me back. I wanted to feel loved for how much I put out in the world. I wanted to have something to ground me to this world before I did something stupid. I was in such a dark place that I drove an hour to go see my bestie because I was scared that I was going to do it. That I was going to be the big disappointment he told me I would always be. Three months later, baby is here and I go back to playing dnd with my friends and its at their house. My husband is rubbing it in my face. He's holding baby and talking to baby and doing all these things making my mind break. He asks if I want to hold her. If i if iififififi NO.
I can't I cannot. I'm trying to be respectful. I missed out on other games because I had to hype myself up. I procrastinated because I didn't know how I would be or if I could handle it. I got to the point that my eb's husband told me that he doesn't want me playing anymore because I sent a text trying to apologize to my now eb that I feel so bad but I can't see her right now since seeing her kids just sends me into a panic attack and I can't stop thinking horrible things. So she takes that as I have a problem with HER kids and not just the KIDS situation. Doesn't hear me out. blames me for everything and has me banned from coming over. in which her husband says he doesn't want me over anymore. Which my rebuttal is because she's telling him only. But he said it was his choice. I don't know don't care. It just hurt that THATS the reason I got kicked out. Not because I was good, but that I couldn't handle their kids. And I would not pay attention by drawing the whole time. I was distracting myself because I'm trying to drown out the noises of cooing making my gut rot and my mouth dry. So by all means I'm selfish for wanting a dream that I was being promised for the last 6 years of physically being with my soon to be ex. I've know for actually 12 years. And that I drove 15 hours to bring you to me since you couldn't drive.
So I need to know from real parents, was I out of line for telling my eb that I had feelings and that them not being heard or just cast to the side hurt? Am I crazy for feeling that I've been robbed? For being upset when my husband comes home drunk and abuses me? For being hurt when I'm called all sorts of names and told I'm worthless by the man I should trust the most? Please. I need to know.
I know I'm ranting, but I need to get it out. I need to find some sort of something to figure out why I'm feeling this way, or why I don't know what to do with myself anymore. I'm fighting for the divorce since i haven't been to my owned house in the last 5 months since he changed the locks on me. I moved an hour away from my home and my family and still to this day, I hurt to hear or watch children around me. I'm happy, but inside something aches and just feels empty. Not to mention that I got told by people that know me that he's been caught buying condoms. We are still technically married, and he can't be doing those things right now. Am I jealous? Upset? Hurt? All of the above? It just sucks and I'm drowning in debt a bit trying to work my ass off to get where I want in life again since all of everything has been ripped from me. I'm trying. Please let me know if I'm crazy or out of line? I want to be heard. I'm going to start to save up. I have a plan for my 27th birthday. If it doesn't work in time for my 28th birthday, I'm not sure what else I can do but join the 27 club.
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maxwell-grant · 3 years
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Ok, but how would the Shadow get along with Superman?
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I'm gonna try something a little different with this ask, because I couldn't really find the right words to answer it the way I usually do. So instead I took the more complicated route and ended up writing a fanfic of sorts, about potential interactions between these two I could think of.
I don't think I'll make a habit out of answering replies through fanfic but, I don't know, something about this question kinda demanded from me a different type of answer. I never wrote Superman before but I do need to get back to writing.
So here you go, the Shadow - Superman fanfic I wrote to answer this. Hope you enjoy.
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They were not friends. They were not enemies. They had their separate worlds to watch over, and rarely did they cross each other. Rarely did they meet under desirable circumstances. 
 The Shadow, as Superman knew him, was not a part of Superman's world. In more ways than one.
Clark knew that he was a man who was mainly active during the 1930s and 40s, that he had been a crimefighter active in the United States during that time, that he has some connection to Bruce and other heroes he knew, and that he has an associate related to Lois named Margo, but somehow, Clark could never find him on his own accord.
Even when he time traveled to said period, he could never find him. Lois and Margo share a bloodline, but Lois does not recall what exactly of what sort, not even under Clark's machines. When he asked some of The Shadow's associates, they could not recall him, and Clark knew for a fact they could not have been lying. Some of them existed in this world but with "ordinary" lives, and others didn't.
Although he seemed to come from an alternate world,there were times when The Shadow appeared to have history in this world as well. Real, tangible history, that seems to be willed out of thin air and to dissappear when Clark goes looking for it. Even Bruce seems to not remember him, and Bruce's the one who seemed to have spent the most time in his presence.
He couldn't quite say he looked fondly on his meetings with The Shadow, if he could be honest with himself. He was cold, remote, harsh and manipulative. He murdered criminals without remorse, something that even he admitted had soured his relationship with Bruce, and terrorized those he fought to a much greater extent than even Batman, who Clark already thought was going too far at times.
Clark knew he was not an evil man, he was certain of the compassion within him that thundered to protect the innocent, but Clark could hardly be certain of how much he knew about him in the first place. Clark, who could see through crowds and make a shopping list out of what each person had eaten for breakfest that morning, could not identify The Shadow's face through his mask, could not see what was behind his eyes.
Clark is extremely aware of the standards he must adhere to in order to operate as Superman, the ways in which he must be held accountable as someone operating above and within society. He understands the importance of his friends and allies that can stop and defeat him, the family he must look after, the reputation he must uphold, the control over his powers and a lifetime of experience in holding himself back. At times he was even grateful for the existence of Kryptonite as a desperate measure. He knows that Bruce goes through a lot of measures to keep himself in check as well.
But he knows little about The Shadow, who works for him, why they do so, who can hold him accountable, who is going to help him when he can't help himself. He worries about what his world must look like, to create a man like him, brainwashing people and gunning down criminals in the streets while laughing. How much good can such a man do if this is what his approach to justice looks like? What is the toil that such a grim approach to life has taken on this man's life?
He knows that overthinking is one of his worse flaws, but Superman can't help but dwell sometimes on the worlds he cannot save, on those that must take on such realities. He only wishes he knew how to find The Shadow of his own accord and try to bring peace to the man, even if he knows better than to assume peace is what he's looking for.
It is the nature of Superman to never stop trying to bring everyone to a world beyond death, darkness and sorrow, and to blame himself for those he cannot save even from themselves.
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It was a well-known fact that The Shadow always worked alone. And like most known facts about him, it was not entirely accurate.
The Shadow strives to cultivate the image that he's alone, untouchable, that all who work for him do so because he forces them to. That he always tells those he saves that their lives belong to him, that they are trembling slaves to a monster sniffing blood in gutters.
Distractions, lies, smokescreens he must create, to allow his agents to operate as spies, and spare them from the wrath of the police and the criminal underworld alike, too busy hunting a legend to notice the flesh and blood people working under their noses, people they would otherwise be all too happy to neglect or stomp on.
Misdirection, the secret of any magic trick. The true secret of The Shadow's invisibility.
There are days where the only positive thought in his mind is that his agents cannot join him wherever he goes.
The success of The Shadow depended heavily on the vast networks of agents and allies he'd gathered over the years, people from all walks of life who trusted him and had chosen to join him. Every courageous move, sacrifice and pivotal role they played was carefully recorded in his files, and never forgotten. They had skills and capabilities The Shadow did not, and The Shadow was proud to see the ways in which they would cultivate those into the betterment of the world around him.
And though the bridge between them was unassailable, though his ways and actions were secret and mysterious to them and they could never know more than he allowed, they received constant signs of The Shadow’s appreciation of their reliable cooperation, and at many points The Shadow had made said bridge less unassailable for their sake.
But they were not his friends. His allies were distant and occupied with fights The Shadow could assist, but not fight for them. His agents were subordinates rather than equals, expected to play the necessary parts and leave the scene for their own safety just as quickly. His friends were few, and often dead. And when it was the moment of danger, The Shadow fought alone. The protection of others came above all else, and on field, although they were expected to think and strategize for themselves and work together, The Shadow's word was final.
There could be no distractions, no hesitations. Those had cost him more than enough on the battlefields of the Great War, mistakes he would never repeat again. The sacrifice of companionship, his own personhood and self-preservation is an acceptable loss for the sake of those he must protect.
There are occasions when The Shadow is forced into circumstances beyond what logic and physics should allow, and in some of those occasions, Superman had been involved in them. There are occasions also where he has to work side by side with other vigilantes, and sometimes, they also include Superman.
He couldn't quite say he looked forward to working with Superman. His arrival almost inevitably carried chaos into the inner workings of reality. The existence of an omnipotent being able to crack planets with a footstep and liquefy crowds with a gaze, held back only by his human personality, was a danger that thankfully did not exist in The Shadow's own world, but was a worrying prospect regardless.
Few of his experiences with aliens and superpowered warriors could be said to be positive ones, and a lifetime of knowing the evil in the hearts of men had taught The Shadow how easily even the best of intentions and the most solid of morals could be corroded and destroyed. It didn't help matters that this being was also a public crusader and celebrity passing judgement on criminals, even while secretly holding a private dimensional prison to throw them into should they be sufficiently dangerous. Someone completely unstoppable and unaccountable, even to death itself.
The Shadow understood Superman to be a good man, a moral man who had been raised well to be the best he could. The Shadow respected and treasured the existence of those like him, men and women and everything in between that could breathe in the sun and uphold mankind, while he dwelled in the underworld to make sure those more like him would not rise to attack them.
But whatever the rewards of these partnerships, he was glad when they were over. His work requires full control. He cannot tolerate the loss of it.
Others can dream of better tomorrows and work to make them happen, his is the task of clearing the darkest paths so others need not tread them.
Hope, light and comfort are noble gifts, but they are not his to give.
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The first time they met had been the result of Vandal Savage's Hypertime Collider, a trap designed to keep Superman running circles through the timestreams, cycling through alternate versions of himself. He had landed in the 1930s, somewhat depowered, in a world where some allies of his existed, but superheroes were nowhere to be found (although some people reacted in terror at him, shouting "IT'S DANNER! HE'S COME BACK TO KILL US!", the significance of which was lost on Clark).
He had met a woman named Margo Lane when looking for this world's Lois, telling her he was a farmboy from Kansas lost in the big city looking for a friend with the same last name. Margo didn't recognize anyone named Lois, and Clark could tell she was only pretending to believe his story (even though it was true, in a sense), but through her, he met a tall, gaunt and hawk-like millionaire by the name of Lamont Cranston, a name Clark recognized from an old radio show Jonathan used to listen.
He had an idea of who The Shadow was. An old detective from a radio show or pulp magazines, sure, Superman's been to worlds he used to think were fictional before, some people still think he's as real as Santa Claus (who was going to join him and the Easter Bunny for checkers next Sunday).
Their conversation of platitudes was cut short, as it wasn't long before the Hypertime Collider was soon transporting him to a different time period, but before he was ejected, he remembered the moment their conversation ended.
Shortly before he could feel the Collider breaking and warping time and space in a chokehold around him, he remembered an eerie silence fall on the room. Though his hearing senses in this world were diminished, he could still pick up minute sounds from miles away, and it was a strange sensation to hear the sound of nothing. A sound that did not exist but silenced everything around it with deafening precision, a sound that Clark had not heard even in the deepest recesses of space, when he could still hear his body's metabolism at work. For a moment, though he did not need it to survive, Clark worried his heart had stopped working, for he could not hear it.
It surely was the Collider's effect at work, he reasoned.
But in that brief moment, whatever surprise he expected to find on Cranston's expression was nowhere to be found. Instead, scattered shadows slashed across his face as the air around him changed and he closed his eyes. He was still wearing Cranston's face when he opened them, and once again, they did not match his face.
The last thing he remembered before his ejection was a voice that cut through the air and the meters separating them, that sounded like a python hissing in Clark's ear, from everywhere and nowhere at once.
"This is not your world."
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The second time was in another dimensional sojourn, this time of his volition.
Having borrowed a portal from Cyberwear Enterprises, Clark was rehearsing a speech intended for the Reginellian people of the Bohren System, one he was expected to give through blinking in reverse morse code, and in order to ensure the atmosphere of their planet would allow them to hear him, Clark intended to pay them a visit. But instead, he was transported somewhere else.
Before he could properly register the time period and location he had landed, he had encountered The Shadow in the middle of rescuing a steamship on fire from sinking.
He was clinging to the side of it unseen from the panicking passangers, drilling bullet holes to the bottom of the ship so it would fall to the side and steer clear from a passing fireworks yacht. He was holding a rope attached to a nearby tugboat with one hand, and with the other he was clinging to the boat's window. The tugboat was moving outside of the steamship's range, and as it moved, it would drag The Shadow and tilt the steamship as he gripped it, just enough to prevent the steamship from colliding head-on with the coming barge.
The tugboat had three men within it, one piloting it and two holding on to the rope that The Shadow had attached, working along with The Shadow to try and pull the steamship. One of these men had a missing eye and was dressed in aviator gear, presumably the pilot of the autogyro atop the tugboat. The other was a tall, muscular black man in suspenders, who dwarfed the pilot in both size and strength.
The strain of their pull could dislocate The Shadow's arms at the very minimum, if not outright kill him, his plunge would carry him 20 feet into the water and potentially under the sinking steamship. Still, they pulled with grim determination, although the boat driver had his eyes closed, and Clark recognized the Yiddish mutterings coming from his mouth as a desperate prayer.
Though they did not see him, these men were extremely thankful when Superman had blown out the inferno with a single breath, and pushed the boat all the way necessary for it's passangers to land on the barge safely, and rescued The Shadow.
Of course they knew the Chief was gonna pull through, he always does.
If The Shadow was thankful for Superman's interference, he didn't show it. In the second he had regained enough strength to talk, he rattled off dozens of names, of passangers in the steamship that had been bruised, by either the flames, the panicking crowd, or the criminals that The Shadow had stopped. People that needed to be taken to medical assistance faster than the ambulances could carry them, of family members that had to be contacted.
He did so without looking at his rescuer, for he remembered Superman, who expected his presence in this timeline to have been erased after he'd destroyed the Hypertime Collider.
Nothing indicated it hadn't been.
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Their most recent encounter was the outcome of an accident where Vandal Savage had trapped Superman in the Arctic and rebuilt his Hypertime Collider, in the hopes of contacting alternate versions of himself so they could all gain Superman's powers and conquer their worlds.
One of said versions was hunted by The Shadow through the portals. The adventure ended rather quickly as the Savages all turned on each other in their tried-and-true method of solving problems with large rocks, but amidst the chaos, a final burst of energy had granted The Shadow a temporary access to Superman's powers.
Thoughts passed through Clark's head of the last time Bruce had accidentally gained access to Superman's abilities, and how despite his best intentions, Bruce couldn't help but overestimate his own ability to wield said powers responsibly. Of how many times he's come across iterations of Bruce who've gained superpowers and used them poorly or tyranically.
He thought of how often he needed to reign himself back, and of the man in black who stood before him, with eyes like thunderstorms ready to break.
The ways in which he is like Bruce, and the ways in which he is decidedly not.
But before Superman could take any sort of action or even ask how he was feeling, The Shadow turned around silently and started walking, straight in the direction of the Fortress of Solitude.
Upon reaching it, he took the million-ton key from beneath the rug that spelled Welcome in a million languages, opened the door, and walked straight into a high security anti-Superman cell within it, designed specifically as a desperate measure against rogue Kryptonians, only stating Superman was going to have to watch him so he couldn't escape.
Clark had never even told him about the Fortress.
He stayed there for the next 12 hours, as Superman ran tests on him to ensure his body wouldn't be negatively affected by the transformation. Clark chose not to remark that some of the bone-deep injuries he had spotted on The Shadow's body previously had healed, as he knew it wouldn't take long for him to acquire new ones after this was over.
They talked briefly at points, and for much of it, The Shadow assumed the façade of Cranston. Sometimes he remembered to breathe and blink, things he forgot to do with startling ease once he no longer needed them.
Clark understood it to be a diplomatic gesture, a façade over the untameable and fearsome Shadow who was frankly unnerving to be around. Even a kind gesture, an effort to address Superman as a man asking for help. Not different than how Superman would prefer to be Clark Kent in order to approach people and ask questions and say things that Superman could never say.
There was a discomfort, of course. There would always be one between the two.
Still, Superman took it as a victory when, after the 12 hours were over, he heard that familiar hiss, with equal intensity but no aggression or even contempt, spell out a "Thank you", as he turned around and was unsurprised to find The Shadow no longer there.
They were not friends, they were not enemies, they belonged to different worlds. They were opposites in their battles for truth and justice.
But truths are often opposite. It is a truth that not all opposites are opposed.
Truth is often as chilling as it can be comforting.
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ktheist · 4 years
Text
heartbreaker of mine
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muses. jungkook x reader
synopsis. ah, here we are again. the overtold, cliche as hell story about two best friends who might or might not be in love with each other. except you can’t - wouldn’t dare to dream about being with jungkook.
alternatively, wherein you fell for the one who could break your heart.
words. 7.5k
universe. university / slice of life
warnings. mentions of physical insecurities; appearance, commitment issues
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you should have known that in the absence of two of your best friends, nothing ever goes right when you decide to hang out. it isn’t the fact that you’ve known each other since diapers and basically know anything and everything about the other, that at some point you feel like your friendship is stale and need new additions - that’s where park jimin and kim taehyung comes in; a year older but several younger at heart, you couldn’t have imagined going through uni life with someone but them - but it’s the fact that realization hits you at the end of your final year that makes you drift apart. 
the fact of the matter is, you prefer the solitude of your room, the library of that one spot in the cafe that you’ve claimed as yours. and jeon jungkook prefers the blare of music, strobe lights and bodies grinding against him.
by your final year, as you receive a job offer at the company you interned in on your second year, taehyung is already working part time at the company he interned in, jimin thinking about that modeling offer he just got scouted for and jeon jungkook is getting daddies of the girls he’s having a thing with to get him to work at their office just so their daughter can see their favorite boy more - yours and jungkook’s friendship has dwindled down to mere silences as you wait for the other two to knock on the door and fill the place up with their endless bickering about whether dumplings are better than mochi.
 “shouldn’t you like, give me advice?” are the words jungkook said to you while you type away on your laptop, trying to do some light reading for tomorrow’s class before your mac gets confiscated for ‘pooping the party’ as taehyung likes to call it.
and you know what he’s talking about without even having preambles of the topic make its way into the conversation.
yet you still take off your glasses and set it down in your lap and ask, “what could jeon jungkook possibly have not known and needed advice on?”
he scrunches his nose, not appreciating your sarcasm but humors it anyway, “you know,” he shrugs, as though shrunk into the sofa from either shyness or embarrassment - you don’t know, “on like, how to start being serious about life - and settling down.”
the silence that stretches is a stale one, filled with your blank stare and jungkook’s peering eyes - even at the age of 22, the stars still glimmer like they’ve been freshly plucked from the skies.
“you want me to help pick, out of the many job offers you got from your girlfriends’ rich parents, for you to do?” is your conclusion - though if you were 2 years younger and had a little bit more faith for the boy you basically called your twin, it would have been a good natured jest. but you’re older and jungkook isn’t exactly portraying characteristics of an upstanding citizen either.
“no,” his hair brushes against his brows as he shakes his head almost too eagerly - as though he saw that coming but still got upset and wanted to prove you wrong, “like how to start taking things seriously like settling down with someone and no, not with out of my many girlfriends - can we not call them that? it makes me sound like an ass.”
it takes you less than five seconds to digest his words, eyes drifting to the white screen of your mac for the sole reason you can’t bear to hold his intense gaze while you conjure up a response, “well for one, you are but there’s honestly nothing i can tell you that you don’t know already and there’s nothing i can possibly say to make you want to change - it has to come from you. or like, a professional that could help and if you think you need one, i’ll be with you all step-“
the brief scoff is what puts a rest to your racing thoughts while the smile on his lips put your heart at ease, “i’m not addicted to sex.”
“oh, okay.” is all you say, not seeing where the conversation is going as you watch the boy scratch the back of his ear, lips pulled into a pout - one way you know he’s trying to strum words into existence. and when he does, confused is an understatement to describe what your face is portraying.
“okay,  i’m saying if and if you’re looking for a husband, no, scratch that, would you even introduce someone like me to your parents?” but that’s the thing, you’re not confused because you don’t know where this is going but you’re confused because you don’t pretend to be oblivious.
but you’re also not a master at the art of heart-to-hearts and the gargantuan elephant that it brings. so you settle with a, “uh, i don’t know, you already know my parents, don’t know how i can reverse that and reintroduce you-“
“that’s not the point,” he blinks, the sight almost endearing as he freezes in his spot for a split second in contemplation of how to approach the matter and explain it to you who seem like you’re way off, “the point is-“
“i get it.”  you nod, arms crossing over your chest as jungkook’s wide eyes peers into you like a mixture of relief anticipation.
“you do?”
“you’re worried if your future partner will be insecure about the bodies you’ve seen before them,” there’s a knock on the door just as you’ve finished speaking.
as you get up to get up to answer it, knowing already who’s there from the obnoxious chatters - more like argument - you’re not sure if your brain is playing tricks on you or if jungkook’s shoulder line really falls as well as his face.
but the, “uh, yeah, i guess,” is what makes you push the image of dimmed stars and downturned pink lips to the back of your mind as you unlock the door, welcoming the two halfway-into-a-deep-quarreling men and their two bags of take-away roasted chicken, chips, mashed potatoes and whatever else they thought necessary to fill the game night with.
“thanks, shortcake,” taehyung smiles at you after you take a plastic bags off his and jimin’s hands and proceed to place it on the coffee table.
“tae, you’re literally taller than everyone,” throwing him a side glance, you shrug as you begin taking out the packed chicken wings and placing it in front of jungkook while taehyung helps with unpacking the add-ons from another bag, “calling me short isn’t exactly an insult.”
“i’m just saying we should demolish mint chocolate chips all at once,” jimin plops down on the couch adjacent to jungkook, “and no, we can’t let these savages go eating them - we need to educate-“
somewhere in the middle of jimin’s colonial-esque speech, you turn to the boy who’s never said a word since the two came in. not that those too needed an additional converse partner with how taehyung is advocating for leaving mint chocolate chip eaters alone and jimin staying with his stance that these people haven’t had a taste of all flavors in the world yet.
the way he seems to look at something past your shoulders tells you enough - he’s still deep in his thoughts about settling down, or changing or whatever. you don’t know why exactly he wants to change his heartbreaker ways but- “there’s nothing wrong with two adults having a - or multiple - consensual sexual relationship prior to finding their significant other. and if they have a problem with that then that’s something they need to work on, not you so no, i don’t think you should change anything unless you want to.”
x
it’s some days later that taehyung brings up the remnant of the conversation he overheard before the four of you began arguing about what movie to watch and ended up putting the fate of humanity in rock paper scissors. and so you tell him, without ever thinking of the one thing that spurred his ridiculous thought and the hesitance of pouring it onto you.
“don’t look at me, i’m not snitching.” jimin’s round, disbelieved eyes stares back at taehyung as though surprised the latter would ever think he’d do such a thing.
“okay but someone’s gotta tell her.” taehyung lowly mumbles, upper body turned to jimin, gracing you with his beautiful side profile - whoever gets to date him will forever be the lucky one.
“guys, i’m literally right here.” the sound of your voice warrants a turn of heads and a wide-eyed stare as though they’re seeing your ghost rather than your physical form that entered and picked a spot together with them.
it takes a moment for the elephant to settle somewhere in the corner and crush you with its invisible weight before taehyung turns to you, hand behind his mouth as he fake coughs into it. then, another moment for you to register taehyung’s words as you watch his mouth move and his gaze trained on you like a father teaching his daughter a life-lesson before he lets her out into the world. once his mouth stops moving and a second passes for you to take in the information, only two words leave your lips.
“you trippin’,” with a half-manic smile and brows knitted together, you look almost like you’re made for the asylum- but understandably, your admittance is overdue.
as your heart palpitate inside the confines of your rib cages and the scene from that night replays at the back of your eyes like a broken record - jungkook’s hesitant glance, the windows to his soul shutting tight with hesitance and the teeth that traps his lower lips as though his body is forbidding him to say whatever his heart and mind wanted - as much as it pains you to admit it, the signs were all there.
you just didn’t want to admit it.
that’s what pining over a best friend you’ve known for over a decade does.
the denial that comes after realizing you don’t want anyone else to touch jungkook when im nayoung stood on her tippy toes and pecked jungkook’s lips before running off with a flustered expression - you were both in elementary and jungkook was more into sleepovers with the abundance of plushies you had than hanging with ‘other kids’.
then comes the ugly head of self-loathing and guilt as you fixed park jihyo a smile as jungkook introduced you two. one, as his girlfriend and the other, his best friend.
both, in love with him.
it’s ugly and disgusting, jealousy that is. but you’re uglier for smiling and laughing with jihyo over the things you would with a best friend who’s a girl - there were things you couldn’t share with jungkook as a girl. but you’d let your eyes linger a second too on them as they shared a peck when he’d meet you too in front of the school gate after his extra class was over - you lost count of the times you wished you were her.
you carried the pathetic little mask of a smile to uni. by then, jungkook had broken up with jihyo. there was a lot of tears and consoling and empty words of assurance.
“hey, if you guys are meant to be, you’ll meet again someway somehow.” you’d fixed her an encouraging smile as your heart bloomed with hope for when you’ll get jungkook’s attention all to yourself once you start uni.
getting into the same one had been pure luck.
it didn’t bring you far though. jungkook started gaining attention for his friendly nature and bunny smile that attracted both males and females. it wasn’t long until he’s bringing you to parties where he’d keep you by his side because he knew you didn’t know most of these people. tried to get you involved in the conversation but there was nothing interesting about the dude who drank himself silly and woke up in front of an old lady’s door butt naked or about that girl who woke up a five minutes before class in a city an hour away from where her dorm is.
well, at least, none of them seemed like jungkook’s type. he never had a girlfriend throughout his years in uni though he had plenty of other experiences that makes you wonder what in the world he hasn’t tried yet.
being in a relationship, is probably the only thing he hasn’t done.
jungkook liked kind people. ones that didn’t point at a random person and say an offhanded comment and collectively laugh about it. someone that laughs and smiles a lot because and didn’t have a single bad bone in their body.
liked.
because you don’t know what kind of person jungkook likes now. but you never thought him asking a hypothetical question from what seems like another person's perspective about his lifestyle would be, as taehyung calls it-
“i’m telling you,” he slams a hand on the table, a loud pap! resonating in the air but he doesn’t seem bothered by the pain - if there is any - as his eyes bore into you, “that was jungkook shooting his shot!”
“i don’t know,” you take a sip from the metal straw of your matte black tumbler for the sake of doing something, “it doesn’t feel real but i can kind of see it?”
“take it for what it is, love,” the pull of his eyebrows together couldn’t have been more frustrating, “jungkook has every reason to have the fattest crush on you - i mean look at you, you’re funny, adorable and nicer than all his friends combined.”
jungkook has multiple friend groups he hangs out with. funny how you started out as duos and merged into a quadruplet and ended up being that friend group that jeon jungkook doesn’t really look like he fits in but he’s probably hanging out with you guys from time to time because you’d known each other the longest. or so word has it.
“that’s basically everyone who’s not his friends.” with an eye roll, you wrap your mouth around the straw. this time, for the sake of hiding the smile that threatens to bloom on your face as it is in your heart.
x
and that’s how you find yourself in more than one ‘don’t you dare’ moments. jimin has begun randomly pointing out something about your hair accessory to your clothes to your fucking strawberry printed socks. 
to prove a point, he said.
“hey beautiful,” oh, and he’s resorted to calling you all the adjectives in the world - but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t work in making jungkook’s face scrunch in displeasure for the briefest moment as he glances at jimin as though he’s an adjective away from beating the man into a bloody pulp, “nice shirt.”
despite knowing the comment is every bit staged - and probably doesn’t mean that your minnie and mickey mouse shirt is anywhere compliment-worthy, you still look down at the two mice, one kissing the other on the cheek.
the “uh, thanks,” couldn’t have been more dubious and skeptic.
and so begins jimin’s not-so-secret mission to bring jungkook’s attention to you.
“isn’t the stickers on ___’s mac cute, jungkook?” 
jungkook skims at the grizzly, panda and ice bears scattered across your mac before breaking into a smug smirk, “of course they are, i bought them for ___.”
you can almost hear jimin and taehyung high-fiving on the row behind you just as the professor walks in.
while jungkook seems to oblivious to it all, eyes trained to the display on the on the front, you allow yourself to indulge in the heat that seeps through your pores and warms your heart.
it’s not like jungkook stopped going to parties.
but finals season is almost upon you and he’s been hanging out with you more. sitting next to you in class while jimin and taehyung dozes off at the back. 
“they sleep in class just to spend hours on end studying at the library,” jungkook huffs, eyebrows knitting together adorably as he stresses over your two friends’ stamina for sitting in one place for six hours straight and only needing a bottle of water at their disposal, “i mean, why can’t they just focus in class so they don’t have to study a whole semester’s worth of syllabus in the last minute and drag us into it?”
the six hour mark ended and they’re out getting some snacks for you to secretly munch on until the library closes.
“i mean,” you begin, eyebrows jolting upwards at the more-than-obvious fact he’s supposed to already know, “you technically came here with your own free will, you’re free to leave whenever you want.”
another sigh hits the air as the boy slams his onto the book he has open in front of him, “yeah, but i need to study to pass and i needed you guys to push me,” he laments.
ever since then, there’d been far too many moments of where you’re stuck with jungkook to wait for the two non-time-abiding asses. at first, excuses like ‘sorry we’re late, we were getting mcdonald’s’ or some other poor fast food restaurants’ name that became the patsy, but they started dwindling to ‘oh hey, sorry, we didn’t notice the time’ and eventually a ‘hey, jimin’s got a meeting with a professor and he’s my ride so you guys go first’.
and before you know it, finals pass and you’re visiting your hometown while jungkook stuck around for a part-time job with taehyung whilst jimin drops off the face of the earth after having mentioned that he’s going on a family vacation at some private island with apparently the worst wifi connection ‘like ever.’
the two now-co-workers keep spamming the group chat with pictures of them in their uniforms, holding different drinks which they personally every time. when you’re staying over with your grandmother, it’s your turn to spam pictures of her great black cat who seem to only like sitting in her lap and glaring at you in every picture you take of the two watching tv together. almost as if he had a sixth sense when it comes to cameras.
“when are you coming back?” jungkook grumbles from the other end of line.
you’ve just got a shower and he’s just got home from a night shift. he’s probably haven’t even taken off his jacket yet when he proposed calling you like the sporadic times you both did throughout the break.
“i don’t know. i don’t feel like going back maybe even until the ceremony,” you confess, half-meaning it. the gardening, and saying hello’s to everyone you see while buying groceries because everyone knows everyone here, and the best-tasting cookies your grandma make, and waking up to her cat suffocating you in your sleep, isn’t so bad.
“i’m dying here,” he sighs, sounding more relaxed and probably lying on his bed now, “if i have to insist that i can’t ‘reheat’ coffee and can only make a new one and end up having to hide in the kitchen for five seconds to pretend like there’s a secret microwave only for coffees,” he says all in one breath before letting a suspenseful silence hang in the air and then finally revealing the next big thing he’ll do, “i’m seriously going to spit in their coffee while in the kitchen pretending to reheat it with an invisible microwave.”
the laughter that tumbles out of your mouth is probably ugly and you probably snorted a couple times but jungkook doesn’t seem to notice. or care as he keeps insisting ‘i’m really gonna do it’ whilst you end up laughing until your stomach hurts and tears begin to prick your eyes.
“is this the same regular that like, wants their coffee like super hot?” you finally manage to ask, traces of laughter still threatening to spill from your lips.
“yeah,” his sounds impressed, “how’d you know?”
“tae told me,” you make an incredulous face and shrug even though he can’t see, “you do realize you work at the same place, right?”
“yeah but i never see him talk about it in the group but i probably missed it-”
“oh no,” your hand goes up in a dismissive wave, “we talk on the phone and he told me about it.”
“you guys talk on the phone too?” there’s a strain in his voice, possibly out of surprise.
“yeah, like every day.” you say, tongue subconsciously lapping over your bottom lip.
“oh,” is all he says for the longest moment before chirping out the billion dollar question, “why aren’t we talking every day?”
“i don’t know,” your shoulder line rises, almost swallowing your neck as a war breaks out within yourself, “we did try at the beginning of break but you always had a party to go to so...”
“oh,” this ‘oh’ is a little bit dejected and perhaps hits a little different before he continues, “i don’t go to those anymore.”
this time, it’s your jaw that falls. your voice is small, almost as though cautiously teetering on tightrope as you ask, “...why not?”
“i just didn’t see the point of going anymore you know? once we graduate, i won’t even talk to these people anymore - but i wanna continue being friends with you guys.”
the ‘you guys’ meaning you, taehyung and jimin. the bros. the homies. it’s no secret that he probably sees you all as the same gender, not a guy nor a girl but just friends.
well. it’s not the first time jungkook’s friendzoned you.
“that’s great,” you can’t help but nod even though you know he can’t see you, “i wanna keep being friends with you too, jungkook.”
ever since then, you talk almost everyday. sometimes in three’s and when taehyung had a shift and jungkook got off his, it’d just be the two of you. and for the first time, in ages, it feels as though the ‘best’ in your friendship has somewhat reintroduced itself once more. jimin somewhat manages to get a connection somewhere along the way and the first thing he did was complain about the three digit number in a red bubble in the corner of the message app and then managing to get one picture of him in flowery trunks, and a baby monkey eating a banana perched on his shoulder with the beach in the background before disappearing for the rest of the month until two weeks before the graduation ceremony.
“so like, do you have anyone to pick you up?” jungkook asks from he other end of the line. he sounds more free since it’s the last day of his job.
“yeah,” you announce, attentiveness laced in your tone for your next words might be indicative enough, “my sister.”
“what.” he drags out the word in a disbelieving tone and it’s no secret why he’s doing that- “i haven’t seen you in ages! and you’re going to your sister’s? wait - this isn’t like a permanent thing right? we’ll get to hang out before the ceremony, right?”
it takes you a moment to register the series of questions he bombarded you with and before you know it, the silence has already turned your voice into a small and guilt-ridden, “um, yes and no?”
a groan.
“i haven’t seen seulgi in forever too and she kept nagging me to visit her during break but i never did so now she has like a whole week’s worth of itinerary planned out for us to do before the ceremony,” the excuse trickles out of your mouth hurriedly, “jungkook, i have to do this, or the next time we’ll meet it’s at my funeral and you’ll be talking to my dead carcass before they bury me.”
it takes a moment of anticipating silence before he grumbles out a “fine. but after that, you’re staying over at my place.”
“okay but i mean if we’re having stay over’s wouldn’t tae’s place be better since he has a whole ass apartment for himself?” you’re at that point where you’re discussing stay over arrangements before actually consulting the owner of the place.
“i guess,” his voice is a little lower and smaller but it revives at the mention of the new pizza place that just opened before you decided to invite the other two in the call to make plans to visit there.
when the day finally comes for you to don the royal blue robe and cap, you do so with barely enough grace and composure for someone who’s about to receive her blood sweat and tears on a stage all because you and your sister are - this must be karma for shading taehyung and jimin for being - a bunch of non-time-abiding asses.
the double doors are almost closed as you struggle with not tripping on your high heels whilst trying to keep your hair out of your face.
“where have you been?” you almost didn’t recognize the golden man who tapped you on your shoulder from behind.
“jimin! you made it!” is the first thing you say.
“rich coming from someone who barely got to her seat in time,” he gives you a once over and you’re not quite sure what he sees because your back which he’ll be looking most at is clad is oversized blue robe. but despite that, you reach out to give his hand a squeeze and he takes it with just as a tight, ‘we made it’ kind of squeeze before you turn to the chancellor that’s beginning his speech.
you’re not sure which row jungkook is at or if he even sees you and you read taehyung’s ‘i feel like a proud momma’ text because his major adds another year to his studies than you, jimin and jungkook.
the ceremony goes on without a hitch and you’d like to believe your picture is as perfect as your make up which your sister claims to be ‘out of this world!’ - only because it’s her that did it.
“so you guys talk everyday?” jimin pulls you into him, a smile gracing his beautifully tanned skin as he steals a glance at something behind your shoulders - possibly jungkook whom you saw was being swarmed by his friends to take pictures with.
“yeah, i guess,” you casually say with a shrug.
“it’s true, i was there,” taehyung comes up next to you, replacing jimin’s arms with his in a side hug.
“man, i really wish i witness it all,” jimin grumbles, “but the connection on that island was shitty.”
“i’m sure you connected in different ways,” the taller man adds, a strain in his voice which the shorter doesn’t seem to notice as he try to wave off the belatedly relayed fact that his family is a different kind of family.
like the kind that invites sex workers and other business colleagues alike to enjoy themselves for as long as they wanted, as long as the park family was there.
“okay but how long is he going to take?” jimin quizzes, eyebrows soaring whilst you and taehyung follow his gaze to the growing size of people a few feet away who clearly look like they’re here for a photoshoot than a simple graduation ceremony, “my parents kinda skipped work to see me go on stage and get a piece of paper they paid a lot for so i kinda want to get the family pic done before i go to my second family...”
time doesn’t seem to stop like they do in the movies. it happens all too fast, in fact - jimin’s voice fading into the background, the countdown of the person taking the picture of the group of graduates jungkook’s in starting from three, two, one! and a girl with the prettiest curls that seem to bounce as she turns around and stick her tongue into jungkook’s mouth.
it must have been your uncanny silence that draws the attention of the two boys and a ‘oh shit...’ from one of them - you’re not sure who even though taehyung and jimin has two distinctly sounding voice.
all you’re sure of is the involuntary movements of your feet as they carry you away from the scene. your eyes are dry but that’s probably only because your brain hasn’t registered what exactly happened though deep down, you’re perfectly aware of the fact that those daily calls, the spams of good mornings and randomly sending each other selfies were nothing more than exchanges between two people who were onlu ever connected through a childhood bond that got translated into best friendship just because there was no other name for knowing someone for so long even though you probably stopped being friends first year of college.
“___! wait!” someone calls for you and you wish it so badly to be jungkook but you know better than to expect for the impossible. a modern day fairy tale.
“hey, don’t cry. jungkook’s a fucking dick,” the tall stature that finally caught up to you and trapped you in his arms, whispers. gentle, understanding and pitiful.
it’s not just the comforting warmth, it’s also the hand that’s rubbing your back that you know is probably jimin’s that makes you break out into your first sob. whilst the day isn’t exactly free of tears, those who did shed them did it out of gratitude and a sort of ‘i did it’ kind of relief but not you.
today, your cheeks are marred by the excruciating pain of a heartbreak. you might as well tear your chest open, take out the beating organ and hand it over to jungkook so he could crush them with his own two hands.
maybe it’d hurt less.
somewhere amidst your fit, you choke on your laughter as you catch the two bickering.
“that’s not how you comfort a crying lady, taehyung, what the fuck?” jimin doesn’t hold back with his colorful words.
“what? what did i do?” the taller man sounds all the more confused but still pass you on to the shorter one like a gift basket when a hand pulls you into another pair of arms.
a hand patting your head as jimin murmurs, “there, there, you’re going to be okay, sweetie,” he hugs you just a tad bit tighter as though to say i promise, “you’re young, you’re beautiful and you just graduated with honors. in five years you won’t even remember your little crush for jungcockhead.”
you would have laughed if not for the shadow in your periphery stopping dead in its trek just a few feet away from you and close enough to hear every word jimin uttered in his attempt to placate your rising desire to flee the scene.
“what?” even a simple syllable is enough to tell you who the voice belongs to. perhaps it’s because you’ve heard it in real life and on the phone countless times and countless more during the span where he worked sporadic shifts and you were gardening and getting scratched by your grandmother’s cat that you tried relentlessly to befriend.
“nothing, jungkook.” you wish it was you who said it but it’s jimin who’s hugging you tighter like a mother comforting their heartbroken child, “why don’t you go back to your girlfriend and stick your face where it’s actually wanted?”
almost as though physically slapped in the face.
with a brick.
jungkook’s shoulder line jolts as he flinches, brows knitting together as you can almost see the rewind of the moment your heart gets split in two. she has the prettiest, softest tanned complexion, luscious curls and body that fits the definition of a glowed-up.
he takes one step forward but stops when you shrink into jimin’s arms, almost as though seeking protection. but it takes everything in you not to run to him and make up an excuse about feeling hot and stuffy and that being the reason you left, when the crestfallen expression mars his otherwise ever-smiling features. 
“that wasn’t what you thought it was-” you could almost swear he chokes at the end of his words but the pause is too short to tell, “i left her as soon as i saw you running off.”
“oh my god, cut the bullshit! this isn’t the first time and this won’t be the last. don’t talk to ___, don’t even look at her, douchebag,” the rumble of jimin’s voice vibrates against you as he pokes taehyung in the rib, making the boy cry out in pain.
the assaulted man has half a mind to ask for further instructions when he turns to you and jimin but decides against it, squaring up his shoulders and placing a warning hand, “just leave, man. ___ clearly doesn’t wanna talk to you right now.”
“ever.” jimin half-shouts.
those deep brown eyes search for yours as though holding on the last strand of what you call best friendship - hoping, wishing that it isn’t true. but as soon as they find your puffy eyes, you throw your gaze to the ground, finding the crack in the asphalt in a better state than your heart.
you can only imagine jungkook’s face falling at your refusal to affirm the strength of years’ worth of friendship. because the fact of the matter is, you’re not so sure if you want to keep pretending to be oblivious as he wraps his arms around another person and kiss them like he means it.
x
“___,” the bed dips as you feel the weight of the blanket get yanked off you. seulgi’s sweet peaches perfume filling your senses, “get up, it’s been days since you had an actual meal.”
“i’m not hungry,” you grumble against the pillow just as your stomach starts making the most monstrous sound ever existed in history of mankind.
“yeah right,” she scoffs but her hand on your arm is warm and soothing, “come on, please eat something - i’m saying ‘please’ here and you know i never say ‘please’. people say ‘please’ to me.” 
you can’t help but laugh at that. seulgi’s never truly begged anyone for anything in her entire life. she would have asked once and left you be until you were done moping around over jungkook getting with jihyo. it was after you did get over your first heartbreak, did she get you ice cream and you’d spent the night in her room with fairy lights and forts, watching the notebook.
“don’t let a boy hurt you like that again, ___, promise me.” she held up a pinky, and yours felt like a ton of weight just dropped over you.
in the end, you hooked your pink with hers and made a promise of sisterhood.
but she hadn’t been there when you needed your off days in college when rumors started spreading about jungkook and a different girl every week.
the wounds to your ever bleeding heart don’t heal. but you got used to picking yourself up and you got better at that with that one class you failed, that one presentation you blew, the humiliating mistake you made in front of your supervisor and every time after that. seulgi had her own ways to deal with problems and you had yours - or maybe patching yourself up after a fuck up was more of your forte.
who knows?
“what’s for dinner?”
“really?” at your inquiry, the face you thought would light up like a christmas tree - doesn’t. if anything, she bites her bottom lip just like you just caught her red-handed for doing something you probably won’t like.
“what?” you ask plainly, at this point, you won’t even be surprised if she said the sky is falling.
it’s not.
but her next words are far more foreboding than the end of the world, “look, jungkook came over like he always did everyday since that day and today i wanted him to stop coming for good so i told him if you at least have the energy to get some food, i’d let him see you,” her eyes glimmer with a sort of remorse that you can’t even hold her against.
“then can’t you tell him i still don’t wanna eat?” is what you say, completely unperturbed or rather not registering the fact that your best friend whom you’ve been in love with for as long as you can remember is in your sister’s living room because he probably heard about your hunger strike. 
but the only problem is, he’s not in the living room-
“he’s right outside the room. i told him he can stand there and see for himself how bad he fucked you over so he’ll feel bad enough to leave you alone.” she says in a hurried whisper, eyes glancing to the half-agape door every second.
a spark lights up inside you, like smolders blown by wind and flares into flames, “seriously? you couldn’t talk to me first about it?”
her eyebrows furrow as her mouth opens and closes for a moment before she confesses, “...i didn’t think you’d say yes to lunch.”
“whatever just-” you tear your gaze away from your sister’s involuntary puppy eyes just so you wouldn’t end up clawing them out yourself, “...just go, seulgi.”
for the longest yet briefest moment, the only thing you can hear in the room is your steady breathing. the flame still burns but it doesn’t flare into a raging fireball. and you know full well it probably isn’t easy for jungkook to pass to through the door after having heard how you reacted when you found out he’s just outside.
when he does, he doesn’t even hide the way his doe eyes shine with something you can’t pinpoint as he takes you in. all of you. with your mused, oily hair and three day’s worth of hoodie and puffed eyes.
“hey,” he murmurs ever so softly, the bed dipping where seulgi sat.
you echo the same greeting back but with a hoarser voice compared to his velvet one.
“so, what do you want for dinner?” he begins, cautious eyes finding yours.
“i don’t want it anymore,” is all you say as you shrug casually.
“oh.” he sounds fragile. nothing at all like the self-assured jeon jungkook you’ve come to know.
silence fills the room like a big, blue elephant. seconds stretch on into minutes and you find yourself leaning against the headboard, drawing invisible patterns over the sheets while jungkook-
you don’t know what he’s doing. he could be fiddling with his fingers like how 10-year-old him would whenever you met at your favorite spot after a fight. but you’re both no where near 10 and if there’s any traces of the boy you once called your best friend, it’s probably only his appearance that’s never really changed.
either way, you don’t dare to even steal a glance his way.
“i like you too.”
the words hit the air like a drop of water that vaporized faster than what science dictates it too. you almost thought you were hearing things if not for the way he looks at you. as though waiting for something. anything.
“i...” you trail off before shaking your head, almost as though coming to your senses, “i can’t do this.”
jungkook laughs awkwardly, hand scratching the back of his head, “yeah, i understand - i’m sorry i- i just wanted to make sure you’re fine and then i got carried away- i should leave.”
but before he takes a step towards the door, you call for him, “jungkook, wait.”
“i’m leaving for japan in two days,” you finally let the cat out of the bag.
“what?” comes out a second later - you don’t dare to look up from your hands to see what kind of emotion he’s making.
but he at least deserves an explanation, “for the longest time, i feel fucked up because i get so jealous of the girls that dated you...” taking a deep breath, you continue, “but i know it’s because i think i’m not enough-”
“you are - you’re more than enough,” the interjection is what makes you look up involuntarily, if not to confirm it yourself - the knitted eyebrows and heartbroken gaze proves it and then the sinking realization settles in, “but you don’t believe me.”
you shake your head, a bitter smile on your lips, “i’m not enough for me and that’s something i have to work with.”
“by running away?” his voice rises to the ceiling, confusion and frustration pooling in his eyes.
“by finding myself,” you correct, “you know like how people go to a different country and come back a different person except i’m hoping to find that person.”
“in japan,” he sounds like he’s a word away from hooking you up with a specialist - not that you haven’t thought of one but-
you laugh and he looks at you like he’s stuck in the middle of a never ending maze, “my mom’s planning to visit my aunt in japan and since i’m officially unemployed i guess, i’m tagging along.”
“oh,” his shoulder line sags as he sighs in relief, “so like a vacation.”
it tenses back up when you say, “i might look for a job there.”
“you’re permanently moving to japan?” jungkook’s body seems to be here but his conscience seems to have flown out - probably to japan.
you want to laugh but it doesn’t seem like a proper setting for it. especially when you’re confessing to your crush that you like him but also subtly admitting that he’s partly the reason you’re leaving the life you know for a new one. and you might not even do it willingly.
“i might find a job with a branch company in korea - work there for a year and then transfer here,” you shrug, “i don’t know.”
“i-is this because-” he starts but you shake your head.
“yes and no?” you say, “none of this is your fault but i’m projecting my frustrations onto you and this isn’t healthy... i need- i need to go away for awhile and figure myself out.”
and that’s how jeon jungkook finally comes to the realization that nothing’s been the same. you haven’t been the best friend you prided yourself to be for a long time and that best friend completely disappeared in second year of college after he started spending nights at parties and only lunches with you. until eventually, you’re stuck in a habit - a cycle that you can’t break from until something dramatic or life changing happens.
and so it goes, he sees you off at the airport with taehyung and jimin. unsure of whether they were still friends after they’d deliberately stopped him from running after you on your graduation day, they were the first to approach him. they understood that it’d only be worse if he chased after you but they didn’t hate him - dislike him at times when - as they called it - he was so damn clueless, yes but they didn’t hate him. and that was a relief.
nothing major changed. he moved in with taehyung and jimin and even got a job at the same company as jimin. you went off radar but still kept in contact every once in awhile - it was like that time jimin went to that private island except you had all the reception you needed, just not the time to text as much as you used to.
job hunting was tough and he understood the competition. when you got a job, you were plagued with a newbie’s role, having to do overtimes to finish up work that was piling before they gave you that position.
then one year turned to two and two years turned to three. jungkook became a manager while jimin took up the position as a secretary in their rival company - it’s funny because everyone at the office would shit-talk him and they would make fun of those people as they drink into the night.
jungkook lost contact with most of his party friends - they were great with hooking him up with a potential client but besides that, he was basically living the workaholic life with his two apartment mates as his only source of social interaction outside of work.
from meetings to gatherings to meetings and then private dinners with clients. the cycle goes on until that one evening where arrives at an invites-only event.
“jungkook, come here,” the director gestures him over and because there’s a server blocking his view, he only notices the girl standing in front of his superior, when he’s finally by his side.
“...a hardworker - every project he’s ever handled hits the internet like a boom!” the director was saying.
“ah jungkook,” the man taps him on his shoulder but he can barely feel it when his eyes are trained on you, stunning in that deep toned dress and new hairstyle, “meet ___, you guys will be working on the twin tower project together.”
x
“so you’re back for good?” he asks when you’re finally alone, lingering at the balcony and away from your superior’s eyes.
“not quite - i still have to fly to japan every week,” you shrug casually.
“oh,” he nods.
“you look great by the way,” he adds a moment later, scuffing his foot against the floor.
you can’t help but giggle at how boyish he is, even at the age of 25, he still acts like a child, “thanks - you don’t look half bad yourself.”
he echoes a “thanks” as well before throwing his gaze over the magnificient view of the cityscape. artificial lights from the buildings appear like stagnant fireflies. it’s sad that they’re the reason you can’t see stars anymore.
but fate is too cruel.
because hoseok, your partner is calling you over - a couple of middle aged people standing next to him, smiling that mechanical smile that isn’t any different from your business smile.
“i gotta go,” you sigh but shoot him one last melancholy smile, “i’ll see you this monday?”
“yeah, see you this monday.” jungkook smiles a smile that says he’s not so sure where you stand. colleagues. ex-best friends. acquaintances?
with a wave goodbye, he watches as you strut to the couple, transforming into a woman so sure of every gesture, even a smile and a throw of your head back as you laugh. everything you do, every movement you make is mesmerizing. 
and he knows he’s not the only one who thinks so as he watches your partner gaze at you with eyes that doesn’t seem to see anyone else but you. laughs at something you say as if he’s completely enchanted.
jungkook turns around, hand propped on the railing as he takes a sip of the wine he’s been holding. without realizing it, a smile slips onto his face, he makes a mental note to check your company’s dating policy.
most forbid office romances anyway.
x
note. i’ve had this in the draft for forever! and thought i was never gonna finish this but i somehow got a burst of inspiration yesterday and here we are! hope yall enjoyed!
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Season 6: the horror! the horror!
The tight 5-episode format should generate anticipation and, yet, somehow it doesn’t.
A brief recap of 6a based on RAS’s podcast interview and The Trailer (now™)
Disclaimer: Though I saw the trailer with my own eyes (oof!), I didn’t hear the podcast with my own ears. All the podcast info will be linked. If there’s no link, it’s from the trailer.
* S5 was supposed to have varchie and bughead getting back together but that changed: “it felt like after the time jump, if we were going to sort of reset or shake up the status quo, it was the time to do it and then we sort of were like ‘okay time to bring Varchie back together, time to bring Betty and Jughead back together’ “
Simply put: we’ve been knew.
*In 6a supernatural is a real thing: Sabrina and Satan both make an appearance.
*6a’s genre is horror. (Let’s be real, the horror started in 4x17 …)
* 6a (5-ep event) is going to both have its own arc and be in continuity with s5-s6. 
...
...
There are no words.
I take this to mean that, from 5x19 to 6x6, episodes will unfold chronologically but the writers are going to pick and choose which 6a storylines will apply in 6b and which will not. I mean … surely, I’m not the only one thinking that Satan will not actually become a Riverdale fixture … So, yeah, it still kind of is an au, RASNightmare Child.  On the other hand, the writers have been doing this since s2, so, you know, whatever …
* Somewhere between the show’s 96th and 100th episode a new canon will be established, according to which Cheryl and Sabrina have been acquaintances/friends all along. Riveting stuff.
* Remember how Kevin took his remaining kidney and left for Broadway? Well, you won’t believe it: he’s back in Riverdale …
* Also back in Riverdale are Dilton Doiley (#justiceforDilton) and Ethel Muggs. Are they real? Are they a hallucination? A dream? A flashback? 10 bucks says they won’t be there for the 101st episode.
* Nick StClair is also back. 
* WHERE’S BRET, YOU EFFING COWARDS?!?!?!
* Toffee will probably not be back for the 100th episode. The writers decided she died off-screen. Probably just after someone asked Evan about her. It’s not as if showing a feeding bowl would have been that difficult. Toffee’s sole raison d’être was to munch on that severed hand in 5x04 and you cannot convince me otherwise. She’s savage, Toffee is. Meanwhile, Hero Archie’s new dog has appeared not only once but twice after his debut in Reservoir Dogs. Priorities.
* Cooper the Cat might appear in 6a. Or maybe his scene will be cut. Cooper the Cut?
* The artwork for the 6x05 script looks like TimePolice!Jughead. The artwork -much like the film references in the titles- is usually very loosely related to the plot. Take that as you like. Time-travelling? Lots of flashbacks? It’s the 100th episode, where everyone (AGAIN: EXCEPT BRET?!) is back.
* Also, this is the episode with the big shocking ending to tide viewers over till 6b starts… (one supposes).
* During 6x05 Betty (and Cheryl?) will wear identical clothes with 5x07. Could be a coincidence. Or not. At one point Betty will also wear a 50’s pillbox hat with a birdcage veil. Because why not?
* There will be more singing. (See above: 6a’s genre is horror).
* At one point, Nana Rose, Cheryl, inner circle cousin Betty and ex-girlfriend Toni will attempt to perform some magic.
* Nana Rose is in what appears to be her deathbed? Absolutely unacceptable. Cheryl and (I think?) Betty are with her.
* Is Betty there because she’s an FBI agent or is it because she’s simultaneously Cheryl’s 3rd cousin and the descendent of a totally different family (dating back in the 1890s)? Sometimes you don’t even have to choose between canons, ya know?
* Is the TBK still patiently waiting for 6a to be over or is he a part of it? Who knows? Who cares?
* Not Betty. In 6a Betty wants nothing more than to have Archie’s baby. Maybe it’s real. Maybe it’s a curse. I could come up with 10 different scenarios where that’s not even real and still not an au and another 10 where it is but if there’s one thing I will never do, is waste any time thinking about b*rchie.
* Tabitha is still at Pop’s. Presumably (5x19) Pop is also still at Pop’s. If/when I bindge watch s6, I shall note down how many times Alvin Sanders makes an appearance. Just for laughs.
* I’m taking bets as to whether we shall ever see Tabitha’s parents ever again. Also just for laughs.
* Jughead is speaking directly to the camera. Because this is not The Twilight Zone but a direct no-nonsense-about-it canon continuation of s5. Sure.
* Jughead’s fluffy rebellious curl is missing and you want me to believe this is not an au?! This is reason enough not to watch 6a. 
* Jughead’s telescopic hand did not make an appearance around Tabitha but I’m presuming it will.
* RAS Nightmare Child still doesn’t know what “endgame” means.
* “We don’t have a set endgame in mind at this point.” What does this mean for Betty’s baby story? Don’t know. Don’t care. This was probably said as a means to entice the bughead and varchie shippers, yet I still can’t believe a showrunner publicly declared that his writers don’t have any set plan about s6. How is this supposed to entice viewership is anybody’s guess.
* This is the second time in 2 seasons that a trailer showing explicit b*rchie supposedly airs unbeknownst to the showrunner. What is even happening with this show?
* Nothing means anything anyway: RAS’s podcast interview discredited Evan’s interview which discredited Ted’s summer interview which … So, you know … whatever …
Yeah ... 
So long, and thanks for all the fish, I guess.
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herstarburststories · 3 years
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illicit love
Pairing: Jensen Ackles x reader
Summary: Jensen loves you, but sometimes love isn’t the right thing.
A/N: Hey, guys! All we needed was a newish fic to say that I was really back, here it is! This one goes for @negans-lucille-tblr 6k challenge. So glad you got to another millestone, honey. It's like I was posting my part for your 5k celebration just yesterday! xD Prompt in bold.
Warnings: age gap, cheating
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Jensen Ackles kept squinting through the bricks of his memory in an attempt to recall where it all began. Maybe it was when he drove off the road he had known for years with the dumbfounded desire to take the trails yet traveled, threading his fingers through your hair on the night of September 7th. He could’ve chosen the easy out and say it all started to crumble with the first kiss, but no. The actor, father, and now horrible husband highly doubted that. No, as he unwound the convoluted wires in his mind, it wasn’t the first clandestine meeting that he saw as the beginning, not the first kiss or the primal stolen glances. It wasn’t even the lies or the way he pushed his body against yours in an act of illicit faith.
Like any grand mistake, it was way before that. Just like how the church not-so-gently advised, it all starts with craving something you never thought you would want.
It happened when he landed the job in a new series after leaving a fifteen-year-long rollercoaster, pushing away any real witness to the fact the old show that swallowed part of his soul was over. There was a certain shock of excitement misplaced by the fact he was going to be working with Eric again, and that the show was an abrupt change considering what he had been doing previously. Now, he believed it was his body’s particular way of telling him that — as the savage animals can sense rain or a calamity — this, baby, this is gonna change your life.
JENSEN ACKLES CAST AS SOLDIER BOY!
‘’Since when have you read comics?’’ Jensen arched his messy eyebrows at Dee’s curiosity about the Homelander and Soldier Boy panel making it to the screen. Shaking the comic book in his right hand slightly, he continued: ‘’Especially that kind.’’
‘’Never,’’ Danneel stated plainly, “but I have Google. It was pretty much the first thing that appeared.’’
‘’Well, Eric said that scene won't be on the screen. Besides, the portrayal won't be that Soldier Boy, but the original one who died in the war. ‘Course, he wouldn’t have died there in our show, but it ain’t the panel one.’’ He shrugged, bringing her closer to his side as she snuggled against him. ‘’There’ll be a bunch of Herogasm, which is basically drugs and sex. Just not with Homelander.’’
Danneel nodded at his explanation, humor clinging to her words as she added: ‘’Guess the only man I have to share you with is still Jared.’’
‘’Hey, you knew what you were getting yourself into.’’ Jensen scoffed playfully before kissing her cheek. ‘’Can't wait to start the show.’’
Jensen leaned forward to rest the comic that he had been religiously studying to form a psychological character profile on the dashboard of the Impala. The actor was spending plenty of hours inside his most palpable Supernatural souvenir -- Baby. His safe place. He sure as hell needed one of those, as molding a whole character that has a bunch of source material wasn’t as easy as he pictured. With Dean, he was putting himself and the script in one until it made his imaginary best friend. It was love at the first sight. Soldier Boy, however, was a long story short. Jensen figured he should do both, honor the character created and add his own special ingredients to it. It was a brand new kind of passion that he hadn’t done for a series in the longest time. Still, his glance trailed back to the woman by his side in the backseat.
‘’Let's hope it won't last another decade,” she mocked.
Jensen shook his head with a chuckle, relaxing against the leather seat. Even the mere smell of the Impala was enough to settle his nerves. ‘’Eric has plans for five seasons.’’
Danneel’s features contorted as if having war flashbacks. Sort of. She never imagined Supernatural would make it that far, and now with three kids, signing on for another excessively time-consuming idea for a new show didn’t seem too appealing either. Yet, she would support Jensen in any decision he’d take regarding his job. “Remind me the last time I heard that line before?” 
‘’Come on.’’ He let out a wry huff, poking her side in a playful manner. She couldn't help but laugh, returning the gesture with tickles to start a very light-hearted battle. He seemed happy with the new job, something Danneel truly thought he would have more difficulty with. She’d pushed her weathered worries away with his easy-going laughter for now.
SOLDIER BOY’S LOVE INTEREST?
Eric Kripke threw the gossip magazine on the table, his eyes not straying from his long-time friend’s. He could’ve simply added the digital article to an irate email and be done with it, but he was a simple man with extravagant taste. That had been usual through his whole career, especially regarding the Supernatural aesthetic. Yet, in those mundane situations, Jensen almost found it too much. That wasn’t the case, though. If anything, the plain, yet still overpowering words that his green eyes scanned made his body sweat. He could even hear his organs working from the absolute silence of the blame that covered the room. Kripke’s room had never seemed more like an interrogation chamber than now.
The magazine in question held Jensen and your picture on the cover, his arms wrapped around your torso as he pulled you close. The most sequin smile hung from your lips like happiness was something that could be touched on that sunny day in the private park near the studio. Giant and garish letters made the headline along with the subline: Jensen Ackles wearing his Soldier Boy costume caught sharing a passionate kiss with the new arrival of The Boy’s Team: Y/N Y/L/N, also known on-screen as Cangaceira!
His voice came out as an accusation: ‘’What’s this, Jensen?’’
‘’We were…’’ The director just waved his hand to interrupt.
‘’Don’t try saying you were practicing a scene because I wrote the Soldier Boy and Cangaceira kiss, and it wasn’t here.’’ Acid tainted his words with no space for fake niceties on his set. Jensen remained in the chair, not even daring to make the most subtle move. Eric knew where he was hitting, and Ackles deserved a punch in the jaw. “The sex scene wasn’t here either, but you two added a lot of erotic subtext. Trust me, I know.’’
His shoulders fell in exhaustion. ‘’Eric…’’
‘’You’re lucky we were going to make those two a couple anyway. I can just put the kiss here and save your ass. What if that wasn’t the case, huh?’’ the director continued, more interested in spilling out his anger than listening to dumb excuses. ‘’What about Danneel, Jensen? You have a wife and kids, for God’s sake!’’
The breaking point. Jensen rose to his feet with sudden frustration, a growl leaving his lips as he pushed the chair to the side with uncharacteristic brutality. How could Eric bring up his family like this? And how could Jensen’s heart not bring them up when he kissed you before?  It was all a fucking mess, and he had no choice but to choke down whatever came out of it, even if it was poison and spite.
‘’Fuck, Eric! Do you think I don’t know that? Do you think it doesn’t pull me apart every time I go home and know I’m lying to the people who love me?’’ The vein on his neck popped as he spoke, emotion gushing thicker through his arteries than blood. Woe remerged under his skin as he swallowed dryly, resting his hands on the table and looking down. That wasn’t him. He had done a lot of things that weren't him lately. ‘’I have enough guilt here, pal.’’
Eric just glared down at the man’s outburst, furrowing before asking, ‘’What’s going on, Jay? You don’t just get up and cheat on your wife. That ain’t you.’’
He shook his head. ‘’I don’t know. Y/N’s just…’’
‘’At least 20 years younger than you,” he stated. ‘’Just starting her career and might be getting the homewrecker title if someone finds out.’’
‘’I won’t let that happen.’’
‘’How? You are gonna be more careful or will you cut it out and go back to your wife and three kids?’’ When Ackles didn’t respond, Eric sighed. ‘’Just stop this, Jensen. Let her go.’’
Jensen scoffed humorlessly. ‘’I can’t.’’
Kripke felt like talking to a teenager. He shook his head as he got up. ‘’Do you have any idea what you’re doing here? This could destroy your family, destroy Y/N’s chance to make a name when you already have your own. That’s selfish in all proportions, Jensen!’’
‘’I know, I know.’’
‘’She deserves more than this and —’’
‘’I know.’’
‘’You are gonna mess up everyone’s lives —’’
‘’I know!’’ He slammed the table and winced, turning around with his hands on his head. If only he could stop his thoughts for a second and reorganize his feelings. ‘’Do you think it doesn’t rip my heart out that I can’t love her?’’
‘’Who?’’ The burning question was ready to set everything ablaze. ‘’You can’t love Y/N, or you can’t love your wife anymore, Jensen?’’
He couldn’t love you in public. He couldn’t love Danneel anywhere. Love just escaped through his reaches when you spoke his name like a prayer, and it was time to accept that.
‘’Both.’’
NO CHICK FLICK MOMENTS: SOLDIER BOY AND CANGACEIRA TALK ABOUT WHAT TO EXPECT FROM THEIR RELATIONSHIP
‘’It's amazing to portray with Jensen. I’ve watched Supernatural since I was like twelve, which probably isn't advisable.’’ You chortled, answering the reporter’s question. Your body could barely contain your excitement under your skin, although, why would you want that? You did it. You got the job you had dreamed and worked hard for. To a bonus, you were working with Jensen Ackles! If there was someone that had earned the right to scream to the sky until your face was the color of the red carpet your heels currently stood on, it was you. ‘‘I was even a Samgirl!’’
Jensen faked a gasp next to you, a light spectrum surrounding the interview. ‘’Really? Me too!’’
You pushed his shoulder playfully while he chuckled. ‘’Anyway, I'm very excited to be here and portray a strong latina superhero. The representation’s very important, and to be able not only to cherish it, but to be a part of it doing what I love and inspiring people like me is… mythical.’’
‘’Wow, woman!’’ Ackles pursed his lips, clapping a little before shifting his gaze from you to the reporter. ‘’She likes the big words. I swear, dude. She’ll just come and in like, a casual conversation, say something like gelid or whilst, and then she's gonna say dumbass. Both sound smart as heck.’’
You winked. ''It's the accent. Makes everything sound nice.”’
Jensen nodded but was quick to sprinkle in an incendiary remark to his compliments. ‘’Yeah, I have never seen someone confuse coach and couch before. Go sit on the coach got a lot of wrong ideas.’’
‘’Hey, you sat on the coach!’’
‘’Because I’m a good boy.’’
You rolled your eyes despite the grin on your lips. ‘’Sure, mister hours-to-get-ready.’’
‘’Hey, plenty of face masks are needed to keep this — ’’ He pointed at his face. ‘’at fourteen.’’
‘’All I hear is that you’re old.’’ Your eyebrows knitted together. Jensen licked his lips at the sight. On any other day, he’d pick you up, say I’m gonna show you who’s old, and enjoy where your teasing had gotten you two, but he couldn’t do it now. You’d get what was coming to you after the event, perhaps even under the table if your dress allowed it, or in the bathroom, if you kept going.
The mischievous smirk on your cherry-stained lips proved that you knew what was going through his mind. God, you were his sweet death. Nonetheless, Jensen sighed dramatically and looked at the camera. ‘’This is what I have to deal with every day.’’
The reporter went on, happily surprised about how comfortable you and Jensen seemed together. Usually, new coworkers were timider around each other during interviews, especially when they were a romantic pair. The journalist decided to try getting a little sneak peek of the couple aspects of Soldier Boy and Cangaceira.
‘’It's definitely interesting.’’
‘’But not in the best way.’’ The only thing more messed up than Jensen’s relationship with you was the correlation between your characters. At least you and he had the purity of love, even if it was twisted enough to turn heads and churn stomachs
‘’Certainly not in the best way.’’ You agreed, bringing him back into reality as always. ‘’It's really nice to explore a couple that doesn't consist of two white people getting to it like most main characters of the shows in our current climate. It’s not the kind of relationship you should be rooting for — not because it's interracial or anything, that's pretty much the biggest, if not only, positive aspect about those two — but because they aren’t healthy at all, just as all main relationships in our show. It's not a romance series, and we certainly don't treat our couples like it.’’
‘’Told you she is the beauty and the brains.’’ His cheeks dimpled with joy and pride as he looked at you. Jensen knew how excitedly nervous you were about that interview. He couldn’t wait to tell you how great you were like you were born to sell dreams and magazines. ‘’But yeah, it’s a messed up relationship like any other in The Boys. After all, it's not a respectful, wholesome show. It's about gritty superheroes that ain’t got heroism. Soldier Boy isn't a good guy, and it translates in his relationship too.’’
You nodded in agreement, brushing his arm to keep you sane. ‘’It’ll be an interesting dynamic to see on-screen to our show standards, but it's not an actual picture of how a relationship should be.’’
THE BOYS 100TH EPISODE PARTY!
The glimmer of his green comet eyes caught your undivided attention in the throngs of people. The crowd had gathered for his family, his arm around his wife's waist as you both shared a tender, stolen look. You savored her wine and yearned for the man in her arms.
It was just a small celebration due to COVID’s lasting effects on public events. People from the set and their significants together were in the Ackles house for a couple of drinks, small talk, and a cake with The Boy’s comics printed on it.
‘’Aunt Y/N!’’ JJ tugged your dress, her mix of Danneel and Jensen’s features almost haunting your soul. Almost. You would never despise a kid for that — you didn’t even have the right to. If anything, JJ was the one that would graduate to hating you someday. You didn't have enough youthful stupidity not to know the risks of being in love with a married man. ‘’Auntie!’’
You leaned in the most that you could with the red skirt, glancing at the child. ‘’Yes, honey?’’
‘’That’s my new Barbie! I bought a beach one! She looks like you!’’ the blonde kid said with a childish joy that ached in your heart. You could end up destroying her family’s stability if Jensen went any further, yet there she was; buying dolls that looked like you and so happily babbling about it.
You were a monster. Love opened you up and planted greedy seeds, and now you were a monster growing like a beautiful tree that could never be strong enough to hold a kid as they climbed up. The fact that you could sense Jensen’s eyes on your ass didn’t help one bit.
‘’She does! That’s so cute, JJ.’’
‘’You can be her. I have one who looks like mommy, I’ll be her, ‘kay?’’
Your nausea was replaced by a pageant smile and a nod, and so you spent the night sharing longing stares with the dad and playing dolls with the daughter. It was a role that was never yours.
ILLICIT AFFAIR? JENSEN ACKLES SEEN ON THE BEACH WITH Y/N Y/L/N
‘’I can’t believe you did this to me, to our family,‘’ Danneel screamed exasperatedly as she threw her clothes in a bag and heart on the wall. Jensen just stood there, accepting the deserved fury. ‘’Ten years of my life, Jensen, and you just threw it away for a mistress! I gave up on my job to be a stay at home mom because you didn’t want a babysitter. I supported you in every moment. I loved you!’’
‘’I’m sorry…’’
‘’You don’t get to be sorry,” she howled, glaring at him with the hatred of an overthrown nation. She felt like he got to the podium and forgot to say her name. ‘’You let that woman get in my house, drink my wine, talk to my children…’’
Reflexively, he said, ‘’Our.’’
‘’Shut the fuck up! There’s no ours anymore, no us!’’ Her words had garnered a learned violence, much louder than the sound of the zipper closing her duffel bag. She threw the CC exclusive on the floor, holding onto the handle for dear life. He didn’t deserve to see her breaking, only her anger. ‘’You destroyed our family, you destroyed me!’’
He pleaded, unable to discern if it was for her or the guilt: ‘’Dee.’’
‘’I hope you’re happy. I hope you go to her, get her to sleep on our bed, and be happy for a month.’’ She gulped, pursing her lips. Her glossy eyes coupled with the pink hue of her lipstick brought back a treacherous memory of their wedding day. ‘’And then, I hope she cheats, like you did to me.’’
The next headline didn’t call it love.
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queenmuzz · 3 years
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A Seed of Truth
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A Fluffy Vergil x Reader One Shot
Life went on as usual in the peaceful island city of Fortuna.  Lord Sparda ruled with a benevolent hand over the people with his wife, Lady Eva, nurturing the arts and culture of the populace.  They were the perfect couple, each combining their strengths and abilities, to lead the island into a golden age.
And then there were their sons, the twins Vergil and Dante.  While the Lord and Lady were quite too busy to make regular appearances to the common folk, the Princes were not that restrained.  Prince Dante was regularly seen chatting at the market, buying up lots of strawberries, while slipping the kids little chocolates and candies when he thought their parents weren’t looking, before racing off on his custom built bike.
Prince Vergil, on the other hand, was a bit more reserved.  You’d seen him at your place of work, the library, deep in a book, or in the Fortuna Gardens, admiring the flowers, giving off an aura  that he didn’t want to be disturbed.  But when someone mustered up the courage to talk to him, he was kind and courteous, especially when the subject turned to his interests, such as literature, or gardening.  He was a man of few words, unlike his brother, but he never minced words, always preferring to speak the truth over flattering speech.
What both men had in common though, was they were both devilishly handsome.  With their father’s bone white hair, and their mother’s elegant facial features, the two men could look good in anything, whether it was formal outfits, as well their casual clothes (Usually a red leather motorcycle jacket for Dante, and a dark blue turtleneck for Vergil).  And with both of them single and available, there was a large part of the city gossiping on who they might choose to settle down with.
So it happened you were in the market with your friend, Sarah, one beautiful spring day when you heard the sound of trumpets, and the clanging of the City Herald’s bell, signaling an announcement.  The crowds began to converge to the centre of the piazzo.  Ripples of excitement fluttered rapidly as everyone realized that the herald was not alone.  There, standing behind the man were the twin Princes, both in their formal royal attire. Dante beamed like the cat that caught the canary, while Vergil...looked more like the canary that had been caught.  You almost felt bad at how uncomfortable he looked, surrounded by so many people, but if he was here despite how much he disliked crowds, this meant whatever was about to be announced was very important.
“HEAR YE! HEAR YE!” the herald announced, clanging his bell one last time, and the crowd was silenced.  Satisfied that he would not be interrupted, the herald continued.
“A ROYAL ANNOUNCEMENT!  PRINCE VERGIL HAS DECIDED IT IS TIME FOR HIM TO MARRY!” A gasp came from the crowd, then cheers, which Vergil did his best to ignore.  The herald rang his bell again.
“HE HAS DECIDED TO CHOOSE A LADY FROM AMONG THE YOUNG WOMEN OF THIS FAIR CITY!”  Another sharp gasp, but everyone was so flabbergasted, the herald didn’t have to settle them down.  “IN ORDER TO HELP HIM DECIDE, ANY YOUNG LADY WISHING TO PROVE HERSELF IS TO TAKE A TEST!”  Two servants carried a sheet covered wicker basket, placing it in front of the herald, and then they carefully removed the linen  “IN THIS BASKET, ARE SEEDS OF THE WHITE  CHRYTHANSEUM  FLOWER!  ALL…” the herald attempted to form a word that didn’t sound so awkward, but failed, “APPLICANTS ARE INSTRUCTED TO TAKE AND PLANT ONE PINCH OF SEEDS.  WHEN THE FALL MARKET FAIR ARRIVES, ALL LADIES ARE TO BRING THEIR PLANTS TO BE JUDGED, AND PRINCE VERGIL WILL PICK THE ONE WHO HAS GROWN THE MOST BEAUTIFUL ONE!  A WOMAN WHO CAN GROW SOMETHING EXTRAORDINARY, WILL PROVE THAT SHE HAS THE QUALITIES THE PRINCE LOOKS FOR!”
“That seems rather...shallow,” Sarah muttered as already, every young eligible woman pushed aside the crowds to make a beeline to the basket, “but who am I to judge?  Besides…” she grinned, “he’s pretty good looking.” “Yes, Prince Vergil is rather handsome,” you admitted.  
Sarah did a double-take, “Nah, I meant prince Dante, I wouldn’t mind if he bent me over his motorcycle and-”
“They’re twins! They’re virtually identical!”
“In looks, yeah...but personality, they’re night and day… and I prefer the day.” She looked at you expectedly, “Well, what are you waiting for?  Go get in line!” “I couldn’t…” you protested.
“Oh come on...it’ll be fiiine, you’re a pretty good gardener, I’ve seen the plants you keep in your rooftop garden, you’ll grow the best fricken’ chryth-  chrythan…”
“Chrysthanthemums,” you clarified…”You can call them ‘mums’, that’s what a lot of people do. And…” you stared at the ever growing line of women.  “Well, I suppose, worst case scenario, I’ll have a pretty flower for the autumn season”, and so, you went to the end of the line, ready to get your chance to spend your life with the handsome, aloof, but intelligent prince.  As you took your place, you heard Sarah murmur, “I hope Prince Dante has a motorcycle race as a contest….”
Eventually, you got to the front of the line, and were given a pinch of seeds.  You tried to keep your eyes averted from the two princes, as you wrapped them in a handkerchief, but you couldn’t help but glance up, to see the younger prince, still beaming, while his older brother stood stiffly, his brows furrowed, his arms crossed.
“This is a terrible idea, brother.”  You heard Vergil mutter.
“Nah, this,” Dante spread his arm out, “this is the perfect way to find the lady of your dreams.” “None of these women seem to possess the qualities I desire…” “Well, leave your pessimism until the fall...you can beat my ass if you don’t find what you’re looking for.”
*******
You got home, and quickly brought out a shallow glazed blue pot out from your shed. It would be the perfect starter pot for it to sprout, before you could transplant into a flower pot proper.  And then, you carefully poured a layer of sandy soil, before gently unwrapping the handkerchief and sprinkling the seeds onto the moist dirt.  There was something...off about the seeds...like they were too clean, but you paid it no mind.  These were most likely from the Fortuna Castle Gardens, so they were top quality, so even if you didn’t pay attention to the plant, you would most likely grow better than the average flower.  But you weren’t just going to neglect this chance of a lifetime.  
Measuring out precise amounts of fertilizer, and a bit of water, not too much, not too little, you were going to put your life and soul into this plant.  So much so, that the Prince would feel your love and care radiating out of each and every petal.
******* Ten days passed, with you constantly making sure that the soil wasn’t too moist, to discourage mildew, and keeping it under a fluorescent light, and yet no bright green sprouts poked out.  That was alright, the flower had a variable growing period, you had a nearly two week span for it to begin to sprout.  Every Morning, you had a routine.  You’d wake up, and while your breakfast toast browned, you’d check on the pot, giving it a sprinkle of water, and when needed, a dusting of fertilizer, before setting it back up to face the light.  And each night, you’d give it a final check, occasionally singing it a lullaby.  Yes, it was silly, but you couldn’t help but do everything to help it grow
But nearly a month later, still nothing.  You bit your knuckle as you paced your rooftop garden, the pot now being placed in the sunshine during the day, some netting to protect it from birds and rodents, trying to figure out why there hadn’t been any sprouts.  Perhaps the breed was a slow growing one, saving up energy for a robust bloom in the fall.  Yes, that would be the reason.  But, to ease your mind, you decided to check out with some of your acquaintances that had participated in the competition.  Nothing too intrusive, not spying, just to see how everything was going for them.
Your downstairs neighbor, a young woman who worked at the corner cafe, smiled when you asked how progress was going.  “It’s going wonderful!” she exclaimed, and quickly showed off her pot.  To your dismay, the healthy shoots spiked out two inches out of the soil, a good week and half of growth. “Yours must be twice this size!” your neighbor gushed, “you’re such a good person with all types of plants!  Do you mind showing me?” “I uh..” you scrambled to find an excuse, “I don’t want to disturb the growing plants more than necessary at this stage,” which was true, if your plant had a chance of growing healthy at this point, it couldn’t be put under any stress.
“Ah, understandable...well,” she looked back at her plant like a loving mother looking proudly at her baby, “May the best gardener win!” 
The door shut in your face, as you glumly went up the stairs to your apartment…
Yes, may the best gardener win…
*********
Summer came with a flash of heat, and even though your flowers hadn’t even so much peeked out of the soil, you continually did your routine of watering, fertilizing, and caring for the apparently lifeless pot.  You still had hope...you HAD to keep up hope.  One of those seeds had to be viable, just waiting to burst out like one of those prank snakes in a can….but nothing.
It didn’t help that everywhere you went, from your work at the library, to the market, all you could hear was women bragging about how healthy, how large, and how vibrant their budding plants were.  In fact, some of the ladies would go in public, either carrying their plants to show them off, with glossy green leaves, or if they were upper class, have a servant follow behind them, lugging the pot around, like a governess watching over their child.
Unfortunately, a new law had to be passed, after a half dozen women got into a full out brawl in the piazza, each fighting for the right to having the ‘best’ chrysanthemum, to ban the carrying of plants in the marketplace, except for the purposes of sale.  Thankfully, the only casualties of the savage fight was several pots and their unfortunate occupants….and the hopes and dreams of their owners.
And yet, seeing all these plants, hearing the boasts about how well they grew, just depressed you.  You had worked so, so hard… and nothing.  How could you show up with a pot of dirt, while surrounded by such wonderful specimens?  You might as well drop out of the contest, and save yourself the humiliation.
Two weeks before the Fall market fair was set to begin, Sarah came over to your house.  You hadn’t let anyone in, ashamed at your failure, terrified you’d be laughed out of town for not being able to raise a plant as hardy and simple to grow as a Chrysanthemum.  But...Sarah was different, she didn’t have a stake in the whole contest.
“How’s the Chryth- I mean the Mum growing business?” She innocently asked, unaware of your summer of troubles “it’s gotta be, like six feet tall, with your skills.  Prince Vergil’s gonna be knocked out of his royal pants when he sees yours, eh?”
It was time to break the truth, both to your friend… and yourself.  “I’m… I’m not going to the fair.”
It took Sarah a moment, while she blinked, once, twice...three times.  
“WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU’RE NOT GOING?!”
You led her up to the rooftop, the sun of a late afternoon warming the nape of your neck, to show her the shallow blue pot, without a hint of green. “Nothing grew...I did everything I was supposed to, I watered, I fertilized, I made sure it wasn’t too cold or too hot...and still...nothing”  Even now, you tried to make sure the tears that dribbled down your cheeks didn’t splash into the soil, salt water would be bad for the seeds.  “I can’t go...can’t show everyone what a failure I was.  Everyone else will have beautiful flowers, and all I’ll have...is this.”
Sarah rubbed your shoulder in support, but her voice was firm.  “You should still bring it.  I know you, I know you put a heart and soul into raising those seeds, I can feel it.  Bring it to the fair, and if Prince Vergil can’t sense about how much love you shoved into every seed, then fuck him, he ain’t worth your time.”  She wiped your tears with a tissue, helping you calm down.  Perhaps she had a point. You had done everything you could, you couldn’t be blamed for neglect.  “Honestly, your mum is personally my favourite all this year.”
Perplexed, you looked at your friend.
“Everyone is growing these damn things. I think I’m gonna puke if I get another whiff of a mum.   Yours smells the nicest.”
At least, Sarah’s sense of humour lightened your spirits, if only a little.
*******
Sarah wasn’t wrong.  The overpowering smell of hundreds of white blooms blotted over the traditional scents of the autumn fair, such as apple pie or roast pork.  And instead of the the mooing and baaing of prizewinning cows and sheep, all you could hear were the titterings and gossip of the young women of the city, each bragging about how hard they worked to grow their flowers, how much love and care they’d placed into each glossy leaf, on how it was a certainty that they’d catch the Prince’s eye.
You tried to stay as inconspicuous as possible, and mostly you succeeded, as everyone was more focused on their own plant, or giving out disapproving looks at their nearby rival’s.  But every so often, a lady would look down confused at your pot, before giving a small pitying smile.  You could even tell your otherwise perfectly nice downstairs neighbor was secretly relieved that she didn’t have any competition from you.
The only one who paid attention to you, without judgement, was Sarah, who gave you an encouraging smile.
“After this, let’s go to the bar and get so plastered you forget this entire summer, my treat!” she chirped, and you couldn’t help but smile.  In truth, you really wanted to wipe this whole debacle out of your memory for the rest of your life.  Just a few more minutes to go….
The sound of the herald’s bell silenced the crowd, and all the contestants stood up a bit straighter, some checking both their dresses and plants one last time, ready to present their best.  Even you couldn’t help doing the same.
“HEAR YE! HEAR YE!”  The stiff man called out, ringing his bell one last time.  “THE JUDGMENT WILL NOW BEGIN,”  a group of finely dressed people, apparently the judges, stood up, but the Herald continued, “WITH BOTH PRINCE DANTE AND PRINCE VERGIL AS THE FINAL ARBITRATORS.”  Everyone, including yourself, did a collective gulp as the familiar colours of Crimson and Azure appeared on the platform.  Both men were dressed to perfection, their gold tasseled lapels shining in the fall sunlight, their black pants perfectly pressed.  But their looks on their faces seemed cold...almost upset.  Even the usually jovial smile on the younger twin was gone, replaced by a worried frown.  But that was nothing in comparison with Vergil’s face.  He looked...disgusted.  Surrounded by some of the most gorgeous flowers you had ever seen, and he yet, seemed to be repulsed by them all as his eyes scanned the crowd.  If these plants weren’t up to his high standards, your pot didn’t have a chance.
“I told you this was a terrible idea…” you heard him mutter, presumably to his brother, “Not a single woman has what I am looking for...the dishonesty of it all. When we get home, I don’t care how much mother protests, you will regret ever suggestin-” he stopped.  His eyes were fixed at one point, and everyone followed his line of sight…
that led to you and your little barren pot. 
Without warning, Prince Vergil quickly stepped down the wooden stairs, his footsteps steady but his frantic pace betraying something more.  Even now, as he approached, you thought that maybe he was looking at the lady beside you, a smaller than average plant, but one with many, many healthy white blooms.  That MUST be who he was interested in.  His face wasn’t as upset as before, but you couldn’t tell what his exact feelings were.  But as he got closer, now a few paces away, his eyes never left you, and you couldn’t help it, you averted your eyes, partially out of deference, partially out of fear.  Was he offended that you had dared bring this failure to be judged?  Your heart pounded so loud, you could barely make out the sound of his footsteps stopping before you, the only reason you could tell he was there, was his shiny black leather shoes halting in front of you.
“Your name?” he demanded, but not as harshly as you had feared.  You gave it out, your voice trembling.
“And this…” his long, elegant fingers grazed against the edge of the blue glaze, “is your attempt at growing a White Chrysanthemum?”  Strange, you’d expected him to be dismissive, but there was a sense of earnestness in the questition. You nodded, trying to get the words out.  “Y-yes, My Lord.  I did...I did everything I could...I watered, I fertilized, I gave the seeds all the sunlight it could ever need, but…” You couldn’t keep back the sob that burst from your throat, and tears dribbled down your cheeks.  You were so ashamed at your failure.
Unexpectedly, you felt warm fingers on your chin, gently lifting your face up, to finally look up at him.  You’d never been so close to the Prince before, and he was even more handsome up close.  And that hard expression that once there, was gone, replaced by something that confused you.  It looked like...admiration?  But for what?
“You were the only one, out of everyone here,” he spoke softly, for your ears alone, “who didn’t hide behind lies...you did all you could, and didn’t hide your supposed ‘failure.’” The way he emphasised that last word puzzled you and you gave him a quizzical look.  He smiled softly and pulled out a silk blue handkerchief to wipe your tears away.  
“Ladies and Gentleman!”  Dante strode up to front of the platform, temporarily ripping everyone’s attention from you and the Prince.  He had a grin that looked like he had been keeping it in for weeks, or even months. “I’d like to make a VERY IMPORTANT announcement.”  He took a breath, obviously savouring the moment.  “You see, when we gave out those seeds...well, before we brought them out...we boiled them, the entire batch.  Therefore…” he trailed off allowing the quicker members assembled to place the pieces together. “None of the seeds should be growing anything, you might as well used them for bug spray”  
Panicked gasps came from the women, each rapidly looking at each other, and then down at the pots they held.  A sound of shattering clay as several pots smashed from being dropped by some of the shocked ladies, who quickly ran for the exit of the fair, the crowds parting away for them.
Dante yanked the bell out of the Herald’s hand, and rang it, signalling everyone to settle down.  “See, what my dear brother wanted in a woman wasn’t a good gardener, although there’s nothing wrong with that.  Verg’s pretty handy at growing stuff…” his grin softened to genuine pride, “No, what he wanted was a woman who could be truthful to him, not try to flatter him with lies to soothe his pride and ego… And trust me, his ego is as big as it is....”
Vergil swung his head over to his younger brother, scowling momentarily, cutting the speech off.  But, slowly, he turned back to you, his fingers stroking the rapidly dry tear tracks on your cheeks.  “I..know this… whole turn of events is rather sudden and unexpected...but...will,” he struggled with the words, the first time you had ever seen him this nervous, “will you take me?”
Your eyes watered up with tears, but not out of grief, but of happiness.  You smiled, and nodded, not trusting your voice to say anything.  He almost seemed surprised at your assent, standing stock still  momentarily, before his smile blossomed fully as he took your hand and led you through the quickly parting crowds, as a large amount of cheers erupted in congratulations, celebrating Fortuna’s newest Princess.  
You felt a brush against your shoulder, and heard the voice of Sarah’s at your ear.  “I knew you could do it!” She was barely audible above the crowd, “Now...would Your Royal Highness mind putting a good word for me with Prince Dante?...”
Tagging    mandyvc  (won’t let me tag you for some reason)
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zootopiathingz · 3 years
Text
Inner Demons
The subconscious is a mysterious place.
As he searched his surroundings, all he saw was darkness. Nothing but a black empty void surrounded him on all ends. He wasn't sure if he was walking forward or back, and if he was walking toward something or further from it. Nick wasn't afraid, not anymore. He was quite familiar with this dark place. It was part of a recurring nightmare he had every now and then, ever since he was a child.
It never used to bother him that much after a couple years. He'd grown accustomed to its strange occurrences, and it usually played out the same every time so there was hardly any surprises. Nothing scared him or stressed him out. He just dreaded it every time, mostly because of the voice that would speak to him. It sounded like him, but with a much deeper and more disturbing tone. He just assumed it was what most mammals called the "inner demon".
But this time he was a bit worried. He hadn't been in this place since meeting his girlfriend two years ago, so now he didn't know what was to come from this dream. Maybe it would just be the same old, same old. But Nick had a terrible feeling that wasn't the case.
"Alright, let's just get this over with." He said aloud to whoever was listening. "What do you want now?"
He heard a small chuckle that echoed around him, causing a slight breeze to pass by.
Well, it seems we meet again.
Nick sighed wearily, rolling his eyes. "Yeah, yeah. You say that every time. Let me guess, you're here to tell me everything that's wrong with me and that I'll never be good for anything so there's no use in trying."
Silence was followed.
He scoffed, feeling a bit smug now. The voice had never not had a response before. Perhaps this was a sign he was finally conquering it. "Yeah, that's right. You've said it all before, it doesn't bother me anymore."
You're a lot more confident this time. But your smell..it's off.
"My what?" Nick asked, raising a brow. What the hell did it mean by his 'smell'? Did he give off a scent that the voice was used to?
Yes, you reek of...rabbit.
Nick's face went blank. "Wh..what do you mean?" He dared to ask.
Oh, that's right. You have that little partner of yours now. I had forgotten about her. No wonder you seem softer now.
"Softer?" He asked, putting his paw on his hip. "You know what, it doesn't matter. Can you just get your little speech over with so I can wake up and get back to my life?"
It was true, there was nothing it could say that Nick wasn't used to hearing. Hopefully this was the end of this nightmare, for good. Now that it's words didn't affect him, it would no longer have power. And that would be it.
But it seemed the voice had other plans.
Mmm, no. I say let's make this a little more interesting.
Nick's brows furrowed in suspicion. But before he had the chance to ask questions, he saw the blackness beginning to crumble. It shook the area, but it wasn't enough to make him need to duck and cover.
As the walls fell down, a much different scenery appeared around him. It was brighter, greener, and calmer. Once all the debris was gone and faded, he looked around to see he was somewhere in Zootopia, somewhere he actually recognized almost right away. There was some grass patches and rocks, and above him was an old stone bridge with moss growing out of it.
"Ah, geez." He said dreadfully. "Look whatever you're planning isn't gonna work!" He pointed upward, assuming that's where the voice was hiding. "I'm onto you!"
"Nick?"
His ears jolted up as he heard that familiar voice. It wasn't his inner demon, that was for sure. This voice was softer and more gentle. He would know it anywhere.
"Carrots!" He said, turning around to find the bunny standing on the opposite side of the under bridge. She looked so real and lifelike, almost like he could actually touch her. And maybe he could, but he knew this was no doubt a trick, and he didn't want to fall for it.
"Nick, what's going on? Why are you standing over there?" Judy asked, gesturing for him to come closer to her. "Come over here."
Just as Nick took a step toward her, his suspicions rose again. What if he got too close and the inner demon hurt him again? What if this was just another trap set for him to fall in? Most twisted of all, it was using Judy as bait to lure him in.
"Uh, I'm sorry but I um, I can't." He said, reluctant to get any closer to her, so he kept his feet perfectly still on the ground.
Judy frowned, "Why not?"
Now he felt bad. That look on her face was all too real. It looked exactly like her actual frown. And he hated seeing her upset. "Normally any other time I would, but right now there's something going on and I just can't."
She sighed, "Why do you always do this?"
"Do what?" He asked, feeling his nerves starting to creep up on him.
"Distance yourself." She answered, holding her arms. "Whenever I think that you've finally gotten used to being around me, you go and push me away. I understand you need space sometimes, but you don't need to act like it's the worst thing to let me help you."
Nick could hardly form a sentence in response to what she said. It was her voice, and it sounded just like her. But it didn't seem like her at all. She wouldn't ever actually say that to him.
Would she?
"Wh-what are you talking about? I don't push you away." He said, making it clear how much more nervous he was feeling.
"Yes, you do." She said, turning away. "It's like you're afraid to get too close to me. I just don't know if I can take it anymore, Nick."
His breath hitched for a second. He feared letting out another exhale, as if somehow breathing was going to make her walk away and leave him. "Wait, what? What are you saying?"
Judy sighed again, relaxing her shoulders from the scrunched position they were in. "I'm sorry, Nick. But I need to be with someone who's not afraid to talk to me, someone who won't push me away when they need my help."
"Wait, Carrots, don't!" He said, becoming desperate. Now he knew where this was going, and he didn't care for it one bit. Why would she do this? He didn't push her away that much, did he?
Then again, it was pretty hard to get close to others ever since the incident with the junior ranger scouts when he was little. The mammals he thought were his friends ended up hurting him in more ways than one. But Judy would never do anything like that him. So why did he still not fully trust her?
You're not good enough for her, anyway.
There it was. The voice from before, the voice from all these years starting to torture him again. Why was he not surprised?
Nick ignored it and dared to take a step closer to the bunny. "Carrots, please. I promise I'll try harder. You just have understand that it's hard for me to trust others."
It’s no use. She’s gonna leave you just like everyone else.
"I know, I know. But you've been saying that for two years." Judy said, tugging on the sleeves of her shirt. "How much longer do I have to wait?"
She deserves better than you. After all, you're just a no-good, lying fox.
Nick groaned in frustration, trying to shake away its words the best he could. But the voice was getting louder and harder to tune out. "Ugh, just stay out of this." He gritted his teeth.
You were never good enough. You never will be. And it's clear that she knows it, too.
"Just stop! You're lying!" He exclaimed.
"I'm not lying, Nick." Judy said, catching him off-guard. He didn't realize she could hear him talking to the voice.
Nick shook his head and paws, "No, no, I didn't mean— I, look I don't know what to do, okay? This is just..it's really hard for me! I know it's hard for you too but if you give me a chance, I promise I'll do better."
Judy sighed sadly, lowering her head. "You've said that before. Now I just don't believe you." She turned around, facing her back toward him. "I'm sorry, Nick."
He felt his heart sink to his stomach as she started to walk away. With every step he took, he saw the ground beneath her turn darker, creating an unsettling path. Even the grass within close distance turned brown and crinkly.
It was never going to last. How could a bunny ever love a fox?
Nick couldn't bare to see her go. Tears started forming in his eyes as he stepped out from under the bridge. "Carrots, wait! Don't leave!" He called out in desperation. "Just give me one more chance, I promise it'll be different! Carrots!"
Don't bother. She's gone, as she should be.
"This is all your fault!" He said angrily, looking up at the sky. "If you didn't torment me all these years, I could've given her what she deserves! I wouldn't be so afraid of getting close to everyone! And now you've taken away the one thing I care about most!"
Oh, you thought that was me taking her away?
It laughed. Nick didn't like that sound, it was spine-chilling. It made him uncomfortable beyond description. He never heard the voice laugh before, and something told him he wasn't going to like whatever followed.
Then, something else caught his attention. He gasped as he looked up at the bridge, spotting a red fox—that looked exactly like him—on all fours, growling deeply. As if that wasn't disturbing enough to look at, he also noticed that the fox was staring at something in the distance. And Nick knew exactly what it was. Or, rather who it was.
"No.." He whispered, turning around to glance at Judy again.
Immediately, the fox leapt down from the bridge and bolted toward the bunny at lightning speed.
"Judy, RUN!" He shouted loudly, making a run for it toward the scene. If he couldn't stop Judy from breaking it off with him, at least he could try and save her from whatever savage clone this was.
Judy didn't hear him, though. In fact she only realized what was happening once she heard a loud growl from behind her. She turned around and gasped, coming face to face with an angry fox that was darting toward her faster than the speed of sound.
Before Nick could catch up in time, the clone pounced on the rabbit and raised its paw up to slash its nails right into her face. She let out a horrific scream, unable to do anything to stop its assault.
Nick had to force himself to keep running, even though he almost froze for a second. The sounds of her agony made both his heart stop and his blood boil. And seeing a clone of himself hurting her in such a way only made it worse. He quickened his pace and eventually caught up to them before any more harm was caused.
He jumped onto the clone, pushing it off of Judy and pinning it to the ground. It squirmed and snarled, but otherwise was unable to fight back. Honestly it barely tried. "You son of a bitch!" He spat angrily, keeping its head against the dirt. "Stay away from her!"
It bared its teeth in response, now going still beneath him. Nick wasn't sure why it wasn't trying to escape, or why it hadn't just somehow disappeared, since this was obviously just the inner demon's creation. But that didn't matter right now.
He turned to look at Judy, who was sitting up and holding her face where she had been scratched. "Carrots! Are you okay?" He asked worriedly.
Judy slowly removed her paw, revealing the large gashes of blood over her eye and on her cheek. Oh god, it was worse than he thought. How could three claws cause so much damage to another animal?
She sniffed, as if she was about to cry. But when she opened her eyes to look at him, all he saw was resentment, and a hint of fear. She tried to scoot away, keeping a distance between them with the little strength she had.
"You really are a monster!"
Her words hit hard, like a knife to his chest. They rang in his ears to a point where it was all he could hear. They repeated, over and over until they were the only words he knew existed. He felt his whole body go numb, and his entire world crashed. The once calm and peaceful landscape around them went dark, and eventually turned to blackness again.
"N-no." Nick whispered, his eyes becoming watery. "No, I-I'm not a monster!"
He glanced down to look at the clone again, only to see that it was no longer there. In fact, the place he was in had changed. As it turned out, he was the one on the ground in the pinned position. He was the savage fox now.
"No, no, no, no. Wait, I- I didn't mean it." He said, starting to feel panicked and afraid. Judy just turned away, her figure turning into a silhouette of his cruel imagination. "Judy, wait please! I would never hurt you! You know that! Come back!"
No amount of begging was able to stop her from fading away. Now he was alone yet again in the endless void of darkness and isolation. He tried to move, but he was stuck. It felt like there were invisible chains holding him down—which knowing his imagination, that was probably the case.
"Judy wait! Please!" Nick shouted, even though he knew it was pointless. He heard the voice laugh yet again, this time it was louder and painfully obvious that it was up to no good.
It said nothing. Just laughed and laughed in a sickening taunt. The laughter only grew louder the more Nick struggled and squirmed in place, trying to flee from whatever trap he was in. And most cruelly of all, a muzzle was somehow making its way onto his face, right over his snout.
"No! No!" He cried out, feeling the muzzle straps tighten behind his head, which was starting to prevent him from opening his mouth anymore. He was stuck, helpless, and alone with nothing to stop his suffering.
Before the muzzle was completely strapped on, he tried one last time to call out for help. Despite the voice's laugh being obnoxiously loud, he knew deep down someone would hear him, somehow.
"JUDY!"
"Nick?"
Nick opened his eyes, letting out a small gasp. He sat straight up, taking a look around him, and taking in the fact that he could actually move. He observed his surroundings as he came back to reality, realizing he was in the safety of his bedroom with Judy sitting next to him in bed.
Even though he knew it was a dream in the beginning, it gradually felt more and more real to him. That had to have been the most disturbingly twisted dream he ever had.
"Nick, what's wrong?" He heard Judy ask, sounding quite concerned. "You were talking in your sleep."
He nodded, rubbing the side of his head as he tried to grasp everything that just happened. It felt like a blur, yet it played out so vividly in his head as he recapped it all. "Yeah, yeah I'm fine."
"Are you sure?" She asked, scooting closer to him. "It sounded like you were having a nightmare. You were saying my name; my actual name. And you never do that."
Nick nodded again, keeping as little eye contact with her as he could. He honestly didn't want to get into it. Talking about the dream would just feel too weird. He never openly discussed his nightmares with anyone. And telling her that he heard a voice every now and then? She would think he was insane.
"Yeah, I'm good. Trust me." He said. But despite his efforts to hide it, he knew she didn't believe him.
Still, she didn't want to pry. If he wanted to talk about it, he would, at his own pace. She had to respect that.
"Okay, if you say so." She gave him a nod.
However, now that Judy had agreed to leave him be, something didn't feel right. He did tend to push this like this aside like it was nothing, when in fact it did bother him. Maybe he really did push her away when he needed her. Maybe he had this dream for a reason. His subconscious was trying to warn him.
He didn't want to be the reason Judy felt useless. He didn't want to push her away and make her feel like he didn't trust her. It was the opposite, actually. He trusted her more than anyone. She had to know that, right?
Before Judy could lay back down, Nick wrapped an arm around her and pulled her close against him. She was surprised at first, but didn't hesitate to give in and return the affection. As a matter of fact, she felt relieved that he was able to be more open with his actions.
"Actually I— I'd like to talk about it, if that's okay." He said quietly, resting his chin on top of her head.
Judy smiled softly, nuzzling her face against his fur. "Of course."
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indianamoonshine · 3 years
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chapter iii | knightly behavior
summary: every summer you work on your father’s strawberry farm with your three sisters. it’s a way to take a break from the big city but summers in the midwest are hot and they linger. this year, your father’s old and mysterious friend shows up to stay on your land for a reason yet to be determined. din djarin seems dangerous, but kind enough, and the two of you quickly become…well, let’s fact it…smitten.
rating: (18+) for future and explicit sexual content.
author’s note: reader is well over eighteen for obvious reasons. i won’t ever go into physical detail about the reader’s appearance because we include everyone. this fic is pretty much a mix between pride & prejudice and call me by your name except without the und*rage crap we do not condone.
You looked upon him in a way that no one had ever looked upon him before.
And it was strange, he thought, because the two of you had been introduced not even twenty-four hours prior. But in your eyes was a subtle enchantment that made Din forget the misfortunes that brought him to the farm in the first place.
You smile politely at him, albeit a bit drunkenly, as he mends your wound. Your foot is propped against his thigh as you sit prettily upon the bathroom counter. Your eyes shine, cheeks rosy with alcohol and adrenaline. The thorn had been removed, but the cut still bled enough to upset Din. When you flinch at the peroxide, he himself grimaces as though he can empathize with your pain.
“I’m surprised I felt it at all,” you say to him as though you’re sheepish from the fall. “With all the vodka and whatnot.”
Din meets your gaze and catches himself staring at your petal-like lips. He forces himself to look away, as much as it burned, but he was far too concerned with your feelings at the gesture.
there was no way you could look at a man such as him the way he looked at you.
Din places a Band-Aid on your foot, sealing it gently, and inspects it once more. “This is a tender part of the body,” he says. He finds himself squeezing you gently in a show of affection he had not expected. He swallows before adding, “-I would be concerned if you didn’t.”
A flash of mischief crosses your face before you tease. “Are you a doctor, Mister Djarin?”
He finds himself chuckling lowly at the question. His answer was quite the opposite, but you needn’t know the true nature of his lot in life. If possible, he’d avoid being transparent in that regard for as long as fate allowed.
“No,” Din finds himself saying. “And you can call me Din.”
A bold choice, but when you embrace with a gentle smile. “My father always told me to refer to my elders with their respective titles.”
You were funny. Witty. Charming to the last. Din found himself growing more fond of you with each passing moment; even in your disheveled state did he think you beautiful.
He mustn’t become attached. You could very easily become ammunition if he weren’t careful. In his pursuit of sound welfare, you had almost become something of a villain; you were making it increasingly difficult to focus on protecting his own interests. In just a few hours, Din felt an unwarranted dedication to you.
He wasn’t comfortable with it.
But he didn’t know how to stop it.
Those of Mandalorian creed did not devote themselves to anyone outside of the order. They hunt and they seek – they survive. And to be senselessly bewitched by someone of such (what he would’ve once considered) little importance was preposterous.
Nonsensical.
Din hadn’t ever been irrational before. Everything was calculated.
Not anymore.
Din tries not to grin, but he can’t bear it. His body is traitorous. “Funny,” he quips. He releases your foot.
You remain silent for a moment, formulating thoughts of whatever it was celestial beings like you did in quietude.
“How did you and my father meet?” you ask after what felt like eons of stillness. “He hasn’t told us very much.”
Din starts to clean up the medical supplies – bits of paper from the Band-Aid and the hydrogen peroxide he had so carefully dabbed upon your skin.
He falters for a moment. While what he was about to say was the truth, it felt dirty. There was more to your father’s past than what you’d have believed and Din knew it wasn’t his place to expose any of it; he would have tread carefully.
“We met when we were teenagers,” he replies.
You let out a messy giggle – like it caught even yourself off guard. You place a hand against your mouth as though to cover the goofy smile. “So when dinosaurs ruled the Earth, then.”
The age-gap hadn’t been lost on Din.
He opens the cabinet very carefully to avoid bumping your head with it. The bathroom was in older shape compared to the rest of the house, so it came as no surprise when the mirror rattled loudly as it opened.
“I was the one who carried you to safety, remember?” Din meets your eyes, hoping you’d find the humor in them.
You do.
“Yes,” you boff. The twitter that escapes your mouth causes his heart to jump to his throat. “And now you’re mending me after a vicious rose bush attack.”
He cracks a grin, though slyly to avoid sharing any bemusement due to your jesting lip. He couldn’t help it; your devilment was far too pleasant to make him scornful.
“Thank you,” you add meekly, but you’re smiling and it’s more than enough gratitude he required.
He wishes to see you smile all the time.
Din’s placed both hands against the counter, consciously ignorant of the space between the two of you. He meant no harm by it – was simply leaning against the sturdiness of the tile. But as you watch him, there was a sense of longing Din hadn’t beheld in quite some time. He tries to avoid it – whatever it may be – by tearing his gaze away from yours and pushing himself off with a casual grunt.
You blink when he separates himself from you, eyes fluttering a bit carelessly, and expression computing back to its neutralness. He does the same, brows raising in panic at the sensation.
“We met while I was camping in Michigan – the UP.” He scratches the back of his head and leans against the wall with arms crossed.
Anything to look complacent.
He finds himself engrossed by the way your ankles cross over one another and how your legs swing. Your dress had threatened to expose the more fragile parts of you, but you were of sound enough mind to eschew that from happening. Had that occurred, Din would’ve punished himself for looking. He wasn’t a religious man by any means, but what was that verse in the Christian bible again? “And if thine eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: it is better for thee to enter into life with one eye, rather than having two eyes to be cast into hell fire.”
Faith didn’t belong in his repertoire, but that particular verse was commonsensical enough to recite.
Over and over again, apparently.
“So you’re from around here then?” you inquire.
“You know that people can visit the Midwest, right?” he remarks.
He was certain you’d simper mockingly – and sure enough, you do. “You’re very bratty for an old man.”
Din takes pride in guessing your responses; it must mean something.
Before he returns, he allows himself to laugh. It’s not full-bodied, but it’s some of the most genuine laughter he’s been able to conjure in quite some time.
“I’m from Chile,” he answers, perfectly amused by your bantering. “I moved here when I was a child.”
He watches as your fingers tap against the tile of the counter. They were well manicured, but cut short, and he guessed that was because you worked with your hands. He respected that – admired it. You clearly come from humble background and trialing youth.
Din could relate to that.
And yet you’re still soft, kind – gracious in your endeavors. And he was not. He was clinical, meticulous in the frayed edges of an odyssey he wasn’t sure he wanted to continue anymore. The two of you were snow and flame, and the old wife’s tale certainly wasn’t true. Opposites don’t attract. Opposites – the grunting, savage neanderthal of the two – are attracted. Someone ripened with softness such as yourself would surely never take rapture in a Neolithic man.
He could dream, of course. And he will.
“That’s very impressive,” you hum, chin raised in speculation.
Din furrows his brows, arms linking themselves around his frame tighter than before. It brought himself a semblance of comfort. For almost all his life, Din was the hunter and never the prey. He was large, foreboding enough to exude the kind of energy the average man could only theorize about, and yet here he stood…before you…
Feeling like the bounty he sought.
“Interesting to have been born in Chile?” he taunts.
Your brows crinkle, nose wiggling a bit to avoid showing your doubtful speculation. It wasn’t a look of disgust – Din was convinced you could never find fault in anyone. Maybe not even him. He hoped for this, anyway.
“No,” you reply. “To be able to keep that information from everyone.”
He shrugs, right brow arching in a show of faux derision. “Who said I was keeping it?” he all but drawled.
Something in his tone must’ve engaged your interest. Maybe you could see right through him; Din couldn’t find himself dumbfounded by the idea. You were smart enough to content with in a war of wit.
He notices how you head tilts in measured consideration. “You’re a very interesting man, Mister Djarin,” you whisper.
A heat flushes him from head to boot. He tears his fixation from the way your eyes swallow him whole – like a boa constrictor might do to a mouse. But he feels no fear for his safety – just his survival.
Because you were going to make this very difficult for him.
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TAG LIST: @dancingwiththeplanets, @ficthots, @t3a-bag, @dodgerandevans & there was one more person BUT I ACCIDENTALLY ERASED THEIR MESSAGE I’M SO SORRY TO WHOEVER YOU WERE PLEASE FORGIVE ME.
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malibumiu · 3 years
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[Shy stud Makoto AU]
for @makoto-naegi-ultimate-stud contains naejunko this one is just fluff
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Makoto sighed as he leaned back against the grass, he adjusted a few times just to get settled on the ground normally he would use his blazer as a thin blanket of sorts but thanks to his new size. (which remind him that he needed to go to town this weekend to hopefully grab a new one he might have enough if not...maybe sex counts as payment right?) The blazer made use as a makeshift pillow if balled it up enough so if was fine. 
He was a secluded corner on the grounds of school, well it was a bit more in the reserve course territory but none of them really came over to this spot since it was so close on Ultimate’s terf. It was the same Ultimates too close to the reserve course. Which was fine by the stud, it was a place that he found rather sacred even now with his new form, he was away for now at least. From horny classmates and staff, semi-aggressive and overly-obvious jealous guys it was just him and nature. With the soft chirping of birds and gentle winds whispering to him, he closed his eyes and ignored the world around him.
Junko hummed as she trotted around the courtyard, but she wasn’t doing this for a leisurely stroll no no! Junko Enoshima was on a mission for a big guy with a equally big stupid heart, with as big as he was it was a surprise he managed to slip out of any of his peers eye sight. So now she knew at least half of the girls were on a scavenger hunt to find the stud even her own bitch of a sister was. But unlike her and many of those other hussies, she had an ultimate that could even surpass the ultimate detective, she was the ultimate analyst. She could predict anything, and find infinite ways to do said things, but when it came to Makoto even when she first met him she couldn’t predict him. Not him, not his cycle, not anything there was no telling what Makoto Naegi could do despite his average looks. But this time it seemed she was at an advantage.
Taking a turn the fashionista scanned the environment around her, the difference in the area could be told, as one side appear more greener, prestige and well kept compared to the other side of the invisible line where there was particles of discarded items and the grass was more brown and dying she predicted that it at least has week or 2 left before it died completely. ANYWAYS! There was a point where said invisible line ended at the end of it led to a small field that connected to the woods. The grass there was combined making it taller along with the seasonal flowers and fallen leaves and branches scattered about. She walked closer, having a sneaking suspicion that the herbivore man was over here (he was even in a herbivorous habitat how convenient) her suspicion was right as after treading through the grass for a bit she came across his slumbering body indented in the grass. She could make out the outline of his pecs and abs from his tad too tight n’ thin dress shirt, his chest heaving up and down, she wonders if the button straining on his uniform will hold. Muscular arms relaxed as they were situated behind his head, he looked rather peaceful even a bit boyish. His ahoge appeared to be slack for once bobbing along to beat of the wind, she scoffed in amusement. 
She was tempted to just to climb on top of him, maybe surprise him or his manhood both perhaps and maybe worked up enough to the point where he could pound her ass into the ground-.
“Mmm..Junko?” 
A yawn escaped Makoto’s lips as shifted around, his hazel eyes lazily focusing on her. She gave him a smirk as she lowered herself down onto him directly on top of his zipper, she shivered a bit she could already feel his bulge though he was flaccid it wouldn’t be for long beginning to move her hips rubbing herself on him. “The one and only babe~” 
“O-Oh mm” He mumbled letting out another yawn, “Do you wanna join me?”
She stopped, “Huh?” 
“Like for you know a nap you models do take those right?” 
She wacked his abs earning a small yelp from him repositioning herself, legs on either side spread open giving him a nice view of her blacked laced panties she wiggled her hips to try and entice him.  
“Of course I do but~” she wiggled again more aggressively this time, “ Wouldn’t you rather spend some time in me instead?” The image of her getting savagely pounded into the ground with the slight possibility of someone passing by and witnessing their shameless interourse...Ooh just the thought made her tingle with excitement.
“Mmm” Suddenly she felt big hands around her waist suddenly she felt her head squish against something rather soft. The hand moved up from her waist and gently patted her head which felt...rather nice.
“You trying to feel me up with your own chest you hunk?” she teased, rubbing against him her own bosom was rather large, easily overfilling one or even two hands any normal man would be 
practically drooling at the sight of them. But as normal as Makoto claimed to be he didn’t get all blushly or stuttering mess or anything..well not right now at least. 
“W-Wha? Nooo Junko come on just relax with me…” he muttered again, tightening his grip on her waist sealing her fate. 
She let out a dramatic sigh, but still snuggled closer to the man, she had to admit the tight grip he had on her wasn’t an uncomfortable one in fact it was rather comforting…(I-it's not like she liked it or anything!!) She was honestly a little disappointed when he stopped patting her head, she knew the big oaf was probably dozed off into stupid lala land with one of those other bitches. (but she ugh HOPED that it was her, after all it would be rude not to the dream about the fucking hot model laying on him!!) 
“Hey Junko..” His voice came out more timid than normal, more like when she first met him it was so weird to hear it now. “..Thank you for deciding to relax with me and...not alerting everyone.” Junko blinked and slowly went to stare up at him, her usually electric blue eyes were flat and blank with an expression he couldn’t really read...it scared him a bit did he say something wrong? Oh god should he have just done something else? Should he have gone back to his fantasy- A soft and more cheerful sounding laugh filled his ear, Makoto nearly thought to look around because a laugh like shouldn’t have come from the Junko Enoshima but it did! They didn’t even fuck and somehow he broke her!
“Geeeeez Big mac you’re soooooo sappy sometimes it's gross,” She said a sickly sweet voice “Are you that drained from us completely?” ‘’Us’ hah... Us and seemingly every other girl and milf that comes within a mile radius of me.’ It's not that he really minded the stares he got though it took sometime to get used to it. But as much as he enjoyed the girls and their endless endeavors of seduce him which leads more often not to them fucking even he valued his alone time (after all his balls did need to restock, his sperm wasn’t completely everlasting you know.)  
“No! No! It's not that and you know that!..” He sometimes wonders why Junko seems to like to play these kinds of mind games (and why he falls for them), being the Ult Analyst and all but then again a bored Junko often becomes scarily mischievous Junko so its better to entertain her ideas than ignore them. 
“Phuhuhu.. Don’t get a knot in your cock peasant! Of course the court knows why~.” The haughty tone in her voice already told him all he needed to know ‘Of course she knows she always does Makoto.’ 
He rolled his eyes before nuzzling his head back into a comfortable position, letting the sun’s rays beat down the heat making him drowsy. He could feel Junko squirming around before settling down. A comfortable silence formed between the two, the only noise being that of the air around them, for just even a moment it was peaceful in the fields of Hope’s Peak.
“Hey Makoto…” Junko called out softly almost like a whisper, “Don’t get the wrong fucking idea but maybe...could we do whatever the hell this is...sometime…again?” A beaming smile as bright as the near sun in the sky had formed one the stud’s face, how dare it made her sadistic little heart race?!
“O-Of course Junko! Just let me know-” A finger forcefully pressed itself up against his lips, her red pointed nail touched the tip of his nose.
“Shut the fuck up!” she hissed, “Someone might hear us! The last thing I need is those damn hussies trying to steal this away from me!” After whipping her head from side to ensure she saw no one she let out a sigh and repositioned herself yet again, this time laying directly on top of the stud. Their chest squished together she lazily fiddled with a stand of his hair, a neutral expression her face the latter took this as a moment to speak again. 
“I’d be happy to do this again with you Junko, and don’t worry..” he gave her a wink, a twinkle in his eye. “I can keep a secret.”
“Hmph! You better,” she muttered, “Look what you did all that yelling got me worked up! You're going to repay me by being my body pillow!”
“Wha-”
“Let's pop these titties free bitch!” hastily she ripped off the two straining buttons from the top of his shirt, his pecs now somewhat free. She had to move a bit to lay on them more comfortably without her own breast getting in the way but once she got comfortable she found herself dozing off, the soft beating of his heart music to her ears. 
‘Man… girls can be strange.’ (He thinks as a girl types out this line)
Without another thought the stud closed his eyes again, this time there were no interruptions just him, Junko and the sounds of nature around. And in that time n’ moment that's all he cared about.
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ficsnships · 3 years
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Hello y’all! It’s time for another unrequested review of the lastest episode of American Housewife, their 100th episode “Getting Frank with the Ottos”. Sorry that it took me so long to post, I had a lot on my mind and I was trying to put my thoughts in order, still I think I didn’t do a great job, lol.
Before I start, I’d like to say that I freaking loved this episode, it felt like the show went back to what it was before they had to make so many changes due to Covid restrictions and safety measures. What I’ve always loved about the series is, besides Cooliver obviously, the family dynamics between the Ottos. There were always so many great scenes with all the Ottos in the same room, or the Otto kids misbehaving. I think that not being able to have all the actors together at the same time, was what really affected the show. It felt weird Anna-Kat not having any scene with her siblings, or the three of them listening to Katie going off about whatever she was pissed at the moment. Obviously two actresses leaving the show, Doris always on video call, new characters added and old ones not appearing anymore (I need freaking Chloe Brown Muller, Suzanne and Tara Summers back! They were part of Katie’s plot) hit them hard too. So, last episode having all the Ottos plus Cooper, Franklin and Kathryn together was exactly what they and we needed.
There was too much going on this episode, I totally get Daniel finding it hard to live tweet. 😂
Will Greg win city council elections? I think it would be good for him to have a win this season. He’s the best dad and he deserves the best. I thought Principal Ablin’s add was so funny. His family being in Westport for 2000 years? LOL. And Cooper actually believing this. Franklin didn’t hold back with Greg. “Why do you completely lack any sort of backbone?” DAMN! I don’t think Greg let’s people walk over him. He just have a zero conflictive personality. But when he needs to defend himself or his family, he sure does. I liked that he brought Lonnie back, I enjoy his character a lot. And they shootin paintballs at Cooper and Oliver was hilarious.
Anna-Kat had a lot of fun moments. She is super supportive and proud of her boyfriend. And she trying to join the cheerleaders was a huge development for her. I love that Giselle portrays a more mature version of Anna-Kat. I am glad that she and Franklin confronted Katie and Kathryn about their quitter attitude. Of course she was going to be super defensive of Trip, he’s been great with her, I love all their scenes together. She was really mad when she saw Taylor obviously flirting with her TA. Her lines this episode were really funny. “That’s all you’re gonna say to this cheating harlot?’ “What I am trying to say is, you a ho’! Was that modern enough for you?’ LOL she was super angry at Taylor.
I am glad that Katie had the chance to talk about old issues with Kathryin. I understand she was trying to protect Anna-Kat from the dissapointment of not getting in the cheer squad, but still not reason to discourage her. I loved that Kathryn is back, she’s one of my favorite characters always given the best most inappropriate advice to the kids. And her step mother was hilarious “get the fuck over it!” LOL. It was great that they had Katie’s inner monologue back.
While I agree that maybe Taylor and Trip need time to reevaluate their relationship and Taylor feeling like she might have outgrown him, I don’t like the fact that one of the biggest reasons she is feeling like this is because of her feelings for Andre, or any other dude. I think since last season she began questioning her future with Trip, when she wanted to go to Carnegie Mellon (what happened to that plot, though? Why hasn’t it been brought up again?). So she’d find herself at this crossroad eventually. I don’t want them to break up though, Trip is an amazing guy, he is sweet and cares a lot about Taylor and her whole family. He has been an amazing friend to Anna-Kat. Maybe they’ll break up and get back together in the future. He needs to be in that family photo in ten years! Kathryn’s adviced was sooo funny lol, one of the best lines of the episode. “Honey you never quit a job until you’re sure you’ve got another one. Unless you’re willing to hold down to jobs at once” lol 😂😅. Franklin was clearly biased when interviewing her lol.
Franklin was a savage with the Ottos. I am pretty sure Westport Fire Department got a few calls from their neighbors for all the smoke that was coming out of their house after he roasted them. It was so funny how after Cooper and Oliver left Greg’s office upset, Katie and Taylor were a little bit scared of going in.
And what all y’all really want: COOLIVER. Bear with me because I have A LOT to say.
This episode was huge for them, and for us. Starting with Cooper cooking breakfast for Katie, and she being super appreciative. Huevos Ottos lol. Oliver was so excited telling Katie about the app and their plans for Harvard and she barely paid him any attention, Katie don’t be mean. Franklin had no business being that rude to Cooper. I loved how Oliver and Cooper were really happy at the beginning of their interview, finishing each other’s sandwiches sentences and being extra boyfriendish. “You two have what’s called a boy and his dog relationship” “This one follows you around like a lost puppy” “Oliver, you go first. Cooper will follow” he completely roasted poor Cooper 😢. Franklin saying that he follows Anna-Kat because she’s his girlfriend was like, and what do you think it’s happening between these two idiots, Franklin? They missed a huge chance here. 🙄 And of course the HIGHLIGHT of the entire series. Oliver calling Cooper and himself “Cooliver” OMFG! What a time to be alive! 🥰. And was Trevor actually being his own version of nice to Cooper? Glad that Cooper stood for himself this time. And damn, Oliver smiling so proud and in love when Cooper was being praised for his food. And it was pretty lazy writing that Gifty suggested for Cooper exactly the same gift than it did to Oliver. Like, even I am pretty sure Cooper doesn’t follow, like or shares the same content Oliver does. 🤔 It only made them fight and kinda put Oliver in a bad light. Which he didn’t deserve. For someone who doesn’t care at all about other people’s feelings, the fact that Trevor thought Oliver and Cooper were dating, says a lot about their relationship and how other people perceive them. And the biggest character development we got so far this season is Oliver not getting triggered by someone saying that Cooper and him are boyfriends 🤣🤣🤣. Oliver looked so worried after their fight. 😢. It was very sweet and extremely boyfriendish that Oliver got Cooper a gift, and it was obviously custom made. “King of La Cocina”. Cooper looked so happy! 🥰 Oliver called himself Cooper’s boy again. He has done it twice already! And Cooper has called him “my guy”. They both know who Oliver belongs to. Can they be more in love and at the same time so oblivious? And of course Oliver would be supportive of Cooper’s dream, he loves him that much. Cooper looked for culinary schools near Harvard so they can still live together. They are going to spend their live together. If they are just “best friends” why can’t they bear the thought of being apart? These boys are dense. 🙄. I was really hoping that Kathryn would say something to Oliver, in her usual style, about Cooper. I love how Cooper is now cooking for his in laws, I mean the Ottos... 😜 I really loved this episode Cooliver’s scenes. However, I still have some issues with how the writers handled some of the situations.
Where do I start?
Will they ever give Oliver a dream that’s not shallow? I mean, being rich or becoming rich, going to Harvard and then opening a whatever the hell is a boutique hedge fund (I do know now what it is, I had to google it, lol), it seems so insignificant, I don’t know if that’s the right word for what I am trying to say, but is his only goal in life just that? I know that when the series started, Oliver wanted nothing more than becoming so rich he could buy whatever the hell he wanted. But he has grown so much since then. He has a rich not-boyfriend, who always reminds him that being rich is not the same as being happy, who reminds him that he has a family that loves him, that supports him, that cares for him. He has seen first hand what money does to people, Spencer was a lonely man at the end of his days. He has find joy and fulfillment if you will, in helping people. How can his dream still be the dream of a 12 year old child? Oliver deserves better than that. I am not saying they should suddenly make him want to be an astronaut or a doctor or a teacher. He can still be rich, but do something good or meaningful along the way. This kid has a good heart, the writers need to realize that and make something good with him.
I hated how they made Cooper and Oliver fight, and kinda blame Oliver for something that he wasn’t really to blame for. He never forced Cooper to do anything he didn’t want to. He never manipulated him or dismissed him. Maybe I am reading to much into it. But it felt like that was what they were implying. Cooper choosing to follow Oliver wherever, is something that he’s been doing or willing to do since season 3. He told Oliver he’d go with him to that dance boarding school just because he wanted to be with him. He wanted to go to Harvard to be with Oliver. He didn’t care or worried about his future career, because he believed he didn’t need to. He was already rich, and whatever their parents company or business is, it would still be there providing for him. His only constant dream, want, desire or whatever you want to call it, was being with Oliver. He took a fucking plane just to reconcile with Oliver after their stupid fight. Oliver never told him to go with him, but he was happy having him by his side. In a way, I think Oliver’s only crime was being so happy with Cooper’s company and the promise of sharing a future together, that he never stopped and asked himself and Cooper, if Cooper actually wanted that. Cooper saying that he had enough doing only what Oliver wanted was so uncalled for. Because we’ve seen multiple times that Cooper does what he wants. He gets what he wants. He doesn’t just blindly follow Oliver. Frequently, he’s the one making decisions for the both of them. Or the one who comes up with a plan.
What really changed this season, and I actually loved this, is that Cooper stepped out of his comfortable, full of distractions life, that for once he began to feel that he was lacking something. Living with the Ottos, away from his many staff members, his fancy toys and cars, his exotic pets (he once said he had a zebra), from all those things in his mansion that kept him busy and distracted, he had time to do some introspection. When Cooper was feeling that Oliver wasn’t spending enough time with him, and being jealous of Trevor, and most of the fandom quickly blame Oliver and said that he was taking Cooper for granted (something that I don’t really agree with) we were missing the bigger picture here. It wasn’t that Oliver was being a bad friend. If you think about it, Oliver was just living his life and doing the same stuff he usually did. If he had been doing ballet instead of working with Trevor, Cooper would’ve still felt left out. Because it was Cooper who no longer had something to fill his days with. I am not saying that Oliver couldn’t have been more understanding or attentive to Cooper’s feelings. But it goes both ways, I think. They missed a huge oportunity this episode, not only to make them canon, or at least, becoming aware of their feelings. But to explore their relationship. Instead of fighting after Franklin brutal but eye opening assesment, lol. They should’ve had a heart to heart conversation, Oliver could’ve asked Cooper if he actually wanted to go to Harvard. And Cooper should’ve started asking himself why is he so willing to go whetever Oliver goes? Why are they planning on building a future together to the extent they do? Why are they picturing a life together if they are just friends? C’mon! We saw how worried Oliver was when Cooper was feeling like he didn’t have a purpose, how supportive he was when Cooper was exploring stuff to find out what he was good at or passionate about. After their fight, Oliver was so preoccupied, he got Cooper a present that he’d love, to show him that he understands him, that he supports him, that he encourages him to follow his dreams, and that he loves him. So how can you tell me that he didn’t care about Cooper enough to ask him what he wanted to do with his life after what Franklin told them. At least they showed us that Oliver realized that he was so focused on getting into Harvard that he simply assumed Cooper wanted the same, which it seemed he did. Because he never said otherwise. These boys are dumb, really 🙄 (I might’ve lost my point here, lol 😂)
And they keep teasing us! They really need to stop with the gay jokes if they won’t make Cooliver canon. Like I’ve said before, is not cool. And being lgbtq+ is not a joke... I love a good slow-burn romance, I do. But they need to give us something more than just a joke. Or stop already.
Anyway, I think this post is already long enough, lol. And I rambled a lot, sorry again. I did enjoyed this episode, despite what my complaining might suggest. And I love American Housewife, even if I only started watching a few months ago, it came into my life when I was feeling kinda down, and maybe that’s why I hold it close to my heart and love the Ottos so much. I am hoping they get a new season, and as many more as they can get. Let’s hope they do!
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doorsclosingslowly · 3 years
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Your death is a number but I cannot count that high (11/16)
In which Death Watch enter the enemy ship, and Asajj gets her shot at freedom.
Zombie Savage AU | 2.5k | warning for body horror
For the first time in weeks, Asajj feels light. It’s almost offensive, how quickly she slipped from world-devouring grief and heartburn and eternal nightmares into mission planning and execution mode, but then again: she enjoys bounty hunting. Pursuit and infiltration are basically her comfort zone, and even the present company cannot spoil her thrill.
She finally has solid ground under her feet again. The swamp that broils and laps at her with every dream and with every wriggling fleshworm that fucking Savage Opress sends her way is receding, and soon enough, when she gets her chance, she’ll kill it off—kill him—for good.
Asajj’s sisters and Mother Talzin may have accidentally landed her in a malignant trap when they tried to help her fight Dooku, but Asajj will chew her way free.
That’s why she volunteered to be ground troop today. She needs to rescue herself. She needs to cut off this bond, cut off the mate, cut off the drowning boulder. She’d been prepared to argue and fight for the opportunity, since it’s not like anybody trusts her here, but it was surprisingly easy. Not even a doubtful look—no, the only response she’d received was appreciation for her fearlessness in the face of certain death. Well, maybe it is. Maul keeps insisting that Savage’s torture is a trap laid by Sidious, his past shadowy Sith Master, and that setting a foot on Entralla means getting fried and disappeared and tortured. He himself is going down still, obviously—by now it doesn’t even appear to be bravado or tending to his image before his following but genuine mushy affection for that dumb creature, and if Asajj wasn’t busy she might almost be curious—Maul is coming down with her, as are Kast and Saxon and three dozen other supercommandos. That’s what they’d settled on, once their advance droid surveillance footage yesterday had revealed their target to be a small spaceship surrounded by a hundred medium-sized tents.
Maul, Kast and Saxon at once, who as far as she’s observed are the three highest-ranking members of Death Watch, and on what all of them believe is a suicide mission—Asajj would call them brain-dead, but actually, she doesn’t care. Either Maul is every inch the scared wretch of a cast-off Sith plaything he appears and is making mountains out of skrant-hills, or she’ll, most likely, be dead too. Looks like that gamorrean sow Kast likes to suck face with will soon inherit the whole sorry rest of their terrorist crew.
Most of Death Watch, though, is inside three hundred small Kom’rk-class fighters or the two stolen Separatist dreadnaughts, standing by to intercept any fleeing ship with gravity wells or sheer violence. Well. That’s one of the reasons. Every ground Mando is in periodic radio contact with one of their motherships, and should they go silent when Sidious gets them… if the mission goes sour, dead man’s switch. Asajj doesn’t know about the exact logistics of how many have to miss check-in before the omnicidal aerial bombardment begins… but she’s starting to understand Maul’s paranoia regarding this ‘Sidious’ well enough to know they’re going to risk killing their Mand’alor sooner rather than later. It’s reassuring, almost. They’ll kill Sidious no matter what.
Well. And her, too.
But Asajj knew when she allowed that Mando to think she’d captured her that this wasn’t going to be easy. Up until know she’s always found a way to make it out alive. She’ll manage. And Sidious killed her sisters. Killed Talzin. Killed Dathomir.
Sidious will die, and so will Opress. Anything else is secondary.
She’s wearing a set of scavenged armor over her clothes and a jetpack and a gas mask, nothing more. Most of the ground team have massive tanks mounted on their back, too, full of some quick heavyweight airborne soporific Death Watch managed to procure on short notice.
(“If it’s taking this long to cook something up, we could just use poison,” Asajj had suggested, entirely not for selfless reasons. “We’re using the weedkiller tanks you Mandos use for farming, after all. We could just keep the weedkiller.”
“This is still a rescue mission,” Kast had replied severely. Unfortunately, despite being a fanatic terrorist and obeying Maul of all people and a habit of throwing tantrums about the horrible plight of Savage Opress, she wasn’t entirely braindead. “Damage is acceptable, but we won’t kill our brother.”
Maul had looked on, silent.)
Maul and Asajj are going to enter the ship first. That makes sense—both of them are assassins more than soldiers, they’re better than the Mandos at keeping quiet—and even if Maul will be a hindrance when they find Savage, she can use him as a distraction before that.
It feels weird, somehow, touching ground in front of the enemy’s ship. The unconscious guards on the ground are wearing clone trooper armor, which means that—yes, it means Death Watch got the drop on them and it means the soporific gas is effective, which is great, but Asajj didn’t expect this mission against Sidious to include a Grand Army of the Republic protection detail, and neither did Maul, though he appears far less perturbed by this information than Asajj is. Nothing before has linked Sidious to the Republic. She trusts the magicks she used to find this location, though. This is where the bondmate is being held.
Maul opens a control panel next to the ship’s door and plays around with a couple of screwdrivers, while Mando supercommandos direct their sedative gas into the ship’s pried-open air vents.
And… they’re in.
Too easy.
This was far too easy for a secret prison of the illusive Sith Lord, and Maul, apparently, thinks so too. He keeps glancing sideways at her while the supercommandos tie up the sedated soldiers outside and while they enter the ship’s galley, and he insists they shouldn’t split up.
“This location does not appear my Master’s—my former Master’s style,” he whispers in his clipped accent. “It’s neither desolate, nor are there plush red carpets. It’s not a torture dungeon.” Maul looks at Asajj, and his eyes gleam with suspicion. “If you have lied to me, you are dead. If this hurts my brother, you’ll wish you were.”
“This is the place. My sisters’ magicks are never wrong,” Asajj replies haughtily. It won’t do any good if both of them admit to their unease.
(Maul’s been vibrating faintly ever since Asajj broke into his brain to find Opress. It’s probably fear and anticipation, and most of all the superfluous awareness of him that she’s gained ever since exploiting both their bonds. Maybe he was always this high-strung.
“Someone’s attacking him,” he’d whispered to her just minutes before they reached Entralla, as if by joining their minds she had proven she cared. His eyes had been dark, agonized. In a movement that appeared entirely involuntary, he’d gripped at his neck as if looking for a pendant, and then he’d hugged himself, holding onto his torso and stomach as if his slippery entrails were ready to leak out.
Asajj had looked down and realized she was mirroring him.
When she slid her eyes half-shut, she could see the shadows of undulating metal cables.)
The ship, on the inside, just appears a standard Republic cruiser. It has a single long hallway that Asajj is pulled down by the worms in her gut, and Maul, frowning and broadcasting dread, follows.
They pass unconscious Republic clones at uneven intervals.
It’s so—ordinary. Asajj knows these ships. And there are no traps at all, just that pulsing connection drawing her forwards, shading and twisting, the memory of desolation and grief and that orange boy getting chocked (Kast’s eyes were so hard when she said, “He tried to give me his lightsaber, too, so I would have an easy time of killing him, if—when, he said, when he was used again to hurt his little brother,” that Asajj almost felt guilty) and everyone on Dathomir is dead and—
There.
She stops, and Maul comes to a halt behind her, ‘saber raised.
An open doorway, half-blocked by an armored redhead that seems vaguely familiar, and the beckoning hand of her sisters, and if Sidious doesn’t have the heart to provide a distraction for Maul then Asajj will just improvise.
“Back there, I think,” Asajj whispers, pointing at a random closed door to her left. “I can feel your brother in there.”
Maul’s eyes are wide. “I do not feel—are you sure?” he whispers, and he looks so young and hopeful bathed in the green glow he doesn’t understand and never had a right to wear that Asajj almost dares to believe her plan will work.
“I know these magicks,” Asajj drawls. “I don’t mind double-checking, but I thought you wanted him as alive as possible. He’s not doing well. Might get deep-fried at any moment, that’s not healthy for such a weak brain.”
It works. Maul bites back whatever kind of response he might have had, and he starts frantically working on slicing the door that was—her sisters are smiling upon Asajj—thankfully locked.
Asajj, meanwhile, tiptoes hurriedly forward and past the redhead—almost a decent glimpse of his head, why does she feel she knows him and—and inside the room she looks at a monster. The scene is arranged as if to mock her, a single bare cot in the middle of the room approximating a stone slab and the dimmed red electric lights a stand-in for the fire on the day she was tied to the boulder that tries to drown her. On the cot, as he was supine on the slab back then, lies unconscious Savage Opress.
Well. The used dog toy formerly known as Opress.
He’s always made her uncomfortable, even when they met. First, it was his silent bruised obsequiousness and the glances he’d shoot her after that arena fight, like he expected her to ravish him then and there just because she’d beaten him up. The sense that she’d stumbled into a world she didn’t understand drawn in silent rules and violence and sex—and Asajj has never liked that anxiety born of ignorance though she can and will tough it out and persevere, and only with the bond strangling her did she realize her stupid mistake—the sense that there was something hiding below her feet ready to devour her. He only got more obsequious and annoying after the ritual that tied Asajj to him, with his empty brainless eyes that somehow simultaneously said do whatever you want with me and I’ll kill you. She was happy to use him, if it got her traitorous ex-Master Dooku off her back, but she was at least as happy that the plan included Opress staying at Dooku’s side, not hers. Well, in the end, he was as useless as he was stupid and creepy, and Asajj had to fight Dooku on her own while Opress escaped his leash and used the power gifted to him by Talzin to harass innocent villagers and Obi-Wan Kenobi.
He doesn’t have the body that Mother Talzin gave him anymore. Not that he ever deserved it.
Savage Opress, who is bound by ancient magicks to Asajj, looks like someone took his corpse and stuffed it full of a crashed spaceship debris in a desperately poor attempt at covering up an accident. The body Mother Talzin’s Dathomiri magicks gave him was stout, forceful, architected and executed with a keen eye and deep control, while whoever did this was a careless butcher. Asajj has seen carnage and pain, she’s fought and killed and maimed, and yet she has never seen anything as bestial as the body before her.
Savage Opress, who is making her share his torture through a telepathic bond, looks like a gutted carcass. This is what became of one of the three last survivors of Dathomir: worms writhe in and out of him, the things she’s been feeling like phantom maggots burrowing into her heart made real and she can see them feasting and seaming up his raw mottled shoulders and lap at the empty spots where someone tore out his hearts. He’s still conscious, though, just asleep. She can feel him feeling the worms. She can see him breathing, though he doesn’t need to, not without an intact torso. Not without hearts. She feels sick. So this is what has been calling out to her. What has been sliding into her mind, unstoppable and unwanted. This has violated her dreams.
Savage Opress, the bondmate Asajj came here to covertly murder, looks like death would be a mercy.
“Ventress, what are you playing at? The room was empty and Kenobi is here,” Maul hisses from somewhere behind her. “I told you. You’ll die for your betrayal—Savage…”
Asajj turns, expecting a fight, but Maul looks like the air was punched out of him, and he’s rooted to the doorway. The air around him tastes of abhorrence and dawning dread. He could have reached Savage before her, in her stupor—he could have jammed his ‘saber into her back—but now she’s jolted loose and ready to take her one chance at freedom.
To take mercy on Savage, for once in her life.
She drives her lightsaber into his right eye socket.
Maul’s scream behind her is vile, deeply inhuman and guttural and echoing over and over and over in the small room. It’s so loud her eye starts to hurt. His howl is the storm and the cave and the first drink in a lifetime. It’s green. It’s gentleness and sympathy he thought his Master had long driven out of the apprentice, but in teaching Savage he can’t help but refrain from using the techniques he once had endured himself. He doesn’t understand the reason—he is Sith and if he does not teach his apprentice to draw power from pain, he will have failed him. He doesn’t understand, but he feels something quake when he is called brother and when he notices he turned his back to Savage and never even expected to get hurt—he doesn’t understand, but somehow, he does. He loves Savage. Savage loves him. Maul was never meant for love, was made a weapon to be used and abused and discarded by a Master wielding power he’ll never attain, but somehow, Maul found this one person who loves him. Maul lost the person who loves him. Maul just lost him again. Maul won’t lose the person who loves him. He won’t. He can’t. He refuses. He loves—
And desperate love paints the room acid green. Greedy love tears the cot to tiny metal shreds. Unconditional love presses hot and painful into Asajj’s right eye, and she’s taking tiny measured steps toward Savage, in rhythmic unison with Maul and unstoppable no matter how hard she tries to take back her body.
Love, no matter what it takes, and both their green-bathed hands touch Savage.
All goes black.
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Longview - Chapter 5
LAST ONE LAST ONE LAST ONE. it is very short. BUT we get some Stealth Force and I love stealth force with my entire heart.
CW: Gaslighting (their memories were wiped and his weren't but still happens)
Nick sat up and rubbed his eyes. To his great relief that his minds (HIS MINDS HE HAS MORE THAN ONE LMAO) and lungs were working fine, and that he could move fine. It was late in the day, but Chase was still sleeping. Nick could tell because he was snoring, loudly. Nick smirked and saw that Michael was already up and had made his bed. Nick pulled himself out of bed and noticed that there was a set of clothes on the dresser. There was a note that had his name on it pinned to the shirt. The Longview Uniform consisted of a blue collared shirt, dark blue pants, and a yellow and blue stripped tie. (spoiler for something I never wrote but the ties were remoted controlled and could be turned on to strangle them into submission if needed.) Nick shrugged as he put on the tie. When he stopped to look in the mirror, the tie stuck out to him. The last time I wore a tie was to my parent’s funeral, and now I have to wear one every day. Great. He put that out of his mind and walked downstairs. Melody and Treauna were sitting on the sofa laughing.
"Where's Michael?" asked Nick. The two girls turned to him with a confused look on their faces.
"Who?" asked Treauna. Nick looked to her, but then laughed.
"Oh, okay. I get it. Play a prank on the new guy. I'll play along." Melody and Treauana looked at each other, then back at Nick.
"Nick?" questioned Melody, "How are you feeling?"
Nick shrugged.
"I'm fine. I had this weird dream last night but-"
"Oh, I get weird dreams too," interrupted Treauna. "Like this one time I was running down this field and this guy stopped me and asked me how to get to the post office from there, and I was like, 'how should I know?'" Melody elbowed her in the side before she could finish her story. (I still have weird dreams and yes that one of them.)
"What?" she demanded.
Nick looked around the room. This is pretty far to go for a prank, he thought. All of Michael's things were gone from the library. There also wasn't enough chairs for all of them.
"When did you guys put together this prank? While I was sleeping?" asked Nick. Chase appeared behind him.
"What prank? Did someone prank someone? What did I miss?" Nick jumped.
"Nick is looking for Michael," said Melody. He tone was as if she was speaking to a toddler. Chase looked confused.
"Michael?" Nick laughed hollowly.
"Very funny guys." He turned around and Chase was now on the couch with the two girls. They were all looking over the back, and their heads were in a perfect line. They all looked concerned for him. Nick looked closely at Treauna. He knew that she wouldn't be able to keep his stare long if she was pranking him.
"Michael. Brown hair, glasses, laser vision," said Nick franticly. They all shook their heads in unison.
"Never heard of him," said Treauna.
"He's the lead of United!" Melody shook her head.
"I'm the head of United. Maybe you should go see the nurse."
"No, I'm fine. Micheal showed me around the school Friday."
"Nick, I showed you around the school Friday," said Treauna. "You made a joke about how Mr. Ferno was a hothead. I still think that it's pretty funny." Nick ran his hands through his own hair with a confused moan.
“No, it was Michael. I’m sure.” Chase appeared next to him.
“Hey, there’s a place that we haven’t shown you yet.” Nick was confused at the change of subject.
“What?” he asked as Chase took his arm and lead him out of the door.
“The nurse.” (SAVAGE OMG)
"Am I crazy?" asked Nick. He was sitting on the examination table in the nurses office.
"Open," commanded Mrs. Plum, the school's nurse. Nick obediently opened his mouth to let her put a thermometer in his mouth. The office was huge, and there was good reason. Half of the kids that were in there with Nick were Strength Force, and they need a lot of medical attention. All of these jocks have super strength, but that doesn't protect their bones. (🤣) The room consisted of almost a hundred beds, lined up against the wall. Like the entire school, there was many high windows that gave a view of forested area, and the large brick wall in the background. Mrs. Plum pulled the thermometer out of his mouth and read the temperature.
"Normal."
"Then why did I image someone that wasn't there?" asked Nick. Mrs. Plum walked over and picked up his chart.
"What force are you in?"
"United. Is there a psych ward here? Because-"
"Oh, stop that. You're not crazy, but you are driving me in that direction." She kept flipping through the pages as though to look for something.
"Ah," she exclaimed, "United Force House is next to Mind force. I need to speak with Mrs. Mintrid (that is a terrible made up name). She needs to keep her watches under control."
"What do you mean, 'under control'?" asked Nick. Mrs. Plum scrunched up his nose.
"Did you have any bad dreams last night? I mean really terrible, vivid dreams?" Nick nodded dumbly.
"The kids from Mind Force have a bad habit of taking control of people's, especially new students, minds. The longer that you are here, the more resilant your mind becomes. One of the things that they are the most well-known for doing is going back and changing people's memories. Changing memories is difficult though, it takes Last Years to do. They have bad habits of sneaking into other Force's clubhouse and changing memories. One changes the memories and the other distracts the subject with a vivid dream. Did the girl," Mrs. Plum kept flipping through the pages of the file.
"Melonie,"
"Melody. Her name is Melody," corrected Nick.
"Right, Meldiny. (lots of people get my friend's name wrong so I put this in here to tease her) Did she have an outburst last night? She has a record of using her ability without knowing it. One of the Last years must have disturbed her in the night. You are late for your class." (OMG what a sudden way to end that)
Nick headed down the hallway and looked around for his class. He had Honors first. whatever that means, thought Nick. All that Nick had to show him where to go was a piece of paper that told his classes and the knowledge of the layout that he had acquired yesterday. There wasn't very many people still in the halls, but there was a few Blaze Force members loitering around the halls.
When Nick first looked at them, they looked like there were smoking cigarettes, but he soon realized they were just blowing smoke out of the mouths in different shapes. Cool trick, thought Nick as walked past them. One blew a puff of smoke into his face as he passed. Nick held his breath and scurried around a corner.
Once he was out of hearing distance, Nick sputtered a cough and tried to get the smell out of his nose and the stinging out of his lungs. The stench burned up his nose and made his eyes water. It was a terrible mix of wood smoke, gasoline, and teenage boys. After the smoke cleared, Nick started back down the hallway. Looking around, the new student was sure that he had made a wrong turn. There was no one in the hall.
As Nick was walking, he felt eyes watching him. The feeling grew until Nick had to stop and look around him. He turned to his right, then his left, then up. When he looked up, he saw a girls somehow holding herself onto the ceiling. Nick cried out jumped back.
"Oh shush. You seem lost," said the girl. She wore the same uniform that he did, apart from plaid shorts instead of pants. He hair was braided tightly onto her head. She delicately swung down on top of the lockers. Dangling her legs over the edge, she continued.
"Where do you need to go?"
"Why were you on the ceiling?" asked Nick. He was still trying to figure out how she was holding on up there.
"I'm Stealth Force. (STEALTH FORCE STEALTH FORCE WE STAN) We're not allowed to use the ground. Well, all but Last Year, and I'm not even close to that."
"You're not allowed to use the floor?" question Nick. The idea seemed so foreign. The girl shrugged.
"Yeah, well, for training." Nick's mind was filled with more questions.
"How do they know you don't touch the ground?" The girl fiddled around with a small backpack that seemed to appear out of nowhere. After a moment, she pulled out a funny looking flash light.
"Throw me up on of your shoes," she ordered. It was a strange order, but Nick was starting to grow accustomed to them. After pulling off one of his sneakers, Nick tossed to her. Turning on the flashlight, the soles of Nick shoe shone orange. She then shone it on her own shoes to reveal they had no color. (I STILL LOVE THIS IDEA I THINK IT'S GREAT)
"Don't know what it's called," she said as she threw the shoe back down. "But I know it doesn't wash off. Trust me. Now, where do you need to go?" Nick fumbled with his paper.
"Um, GL 676." She smiled, then pointed back the way that he had come.
"Go down this hallway, take a left, then a right, then another left." Nick tried to commit that to memory. Left, right, then left again. He turned to walk down the hall then turned back to the girl.
"Oh, and thanks, for," when he turned, she was gone. Nick shivered. He had finally made his way to his next class.
annnnnnd that's all I ever wrote. Thanks for reading!
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libradusk · 4 years
Text
Touch Starved | Savage Opress
Word Count: 2,895
Pairing: Savage Opress x Reader
Summary: You finally crack and end up voicing a suggestion that’s been brewing for a while now, maybe it’s the night air that charges the situation more than you intended.
warnings: mentions of bodily harm and tattooing + needles. Otherwise, just good old yearning and fluff!
part of the Touch Starved miniseries
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He never smiled.
The thought struck you one evening as you’d stared over your drink in the crowded, backwater cantina. It had become a regular haunt for you and the Zabrak brothers, ever since you had become entwined in their navigation of the galaxy’s underworld. He had sat unflinchingly stiff across from you, saffron eyes forever trained over Maul’s shoulder even as he sipped his own ale, tense and poised to snap the moment an unruly patron stumbled too close to where you all had poured over the cracked screen of a stolen data pad.
Savage Opress never showed much emotion in general really, remaining stone faced and apathetic towards most anything that didn’t strike the furnace of his temper. Since your first meeting he had always preferred to step backwards and allow his more talkative younger brother handle diplomacy, and even weeks later into your working relationship he had remained politely aloof at best and irritated at worst. He just seemed… empty, intelligent yet gullible and loyal to his brother to a fault at the best of times, but still so lost beneath the glares and the wall of muscle and armour.
You were just their accomplice by association, their guide to navigating the underbelly of the black market - not there to ask questions beyond what taste of freedom they could possibly offer you when all was said and done - how they could liberate you from the rotten depths of it all. Really, you had no reason to take such an interest in the taller brother, but there was something about him that sparked something within you, that constantly wrestled against your better judgement.
Whether it was pity, empathy, morbid fascination or something even deeper, you didn’t truly know - nor were you initially prepared to dig through the darker complications of your inner voice to do so.
Whatever it was, you were drawn to him further than what your line of duty - if you could really ever call it that - commanded you to be.
Somehow, over time and slotted snugly between covert operations and what little downtime he allowed himself - your gentle persistence seemed to work, Savage cracked just enough for you to scrutinise beyond the harsh line of his sneer. What you discovered proved to be more troubling than you had envisioned possible.
Savage Opress was a fragile soul - hollow and uncanny in the way he wore skin that did not quite fit him - that did not fit with who he was beneath it, who he used to be. You knew he had endured hardship - he sported the same scars of abuse you had seen countless times over plastering the slaves in the marketplace, and that branded the souls of tortured assassins as they drowned their demons in cheap ale and blood money. The trauma hid deeper than the ink that patterned his flesh, suffocated with fluctuating success behind his dedication to his kin, and the desire to reclaim power that had been stolen from them both.
Yet he still flinched at any touch of your skin against his own when you sparred, recoiling as if you had stabbed him with his own blade when you thoughtlessly placed a friendly hand against his forearm in the busy cantina. It broke your heart to think that you had contributed to the pain festering within him, the shame boiling your blood each time you witnessed that all-too-familiar flicker of panic dance across his eyes for a moment before it was bitten back behind a surly frown once more.
The underworld constantly reminded you that it was birthed through suffering - it only flourished through the agony of those that convulsed through its veins.
The alleyway fumes began to strangle you ever more tightly after that.
You thought you were dreaming the night he finally touched you. He had hauled you to your feet following your training session with such force, that for a horrible second you thought he was preparing to break you over his knee with the action. Savage’s fist had dwarfed your own as he had locked it around your wrist, and despite the frantic motion that had threatened to dislodge your shoulder from its socket, his actual hold on you had been uncharacteristically delicate. He’d seemed as shocked as you then, and while the memory pulled a shy smile from you now, at the time you had been too flabbergasted by the gesture to voice anything outside of wide-eyed disbelief as you stared up at the tall Zabrak.
When he had returned the flustered smile that blossomed across your heated face with a small twitch of his own lips, you had truly been convinced it was all some romanticised fabrication resulting from hitting your head after he had swept your feet from under you.
But he began to smile at you a lot more after that - it was always a little unsure, shy even, but it suited him all the same - like it should always have felt at home on his face.
The ghost of it played at the corner of his lips now, the light of the campfire softening the harsh lines of his face further as you sat together just outside his ship. Maul had long retired for the night, leaving just the two of you to watch as the embers flickered and grappled amidst the blackened wood. Despite the perceived serenity of the scene, you were nervous. You had long since noticed that the tattoos decorating his right forearm, though usually hidden beneath his armour, appeared faded and mottled with scar tissue. The extent of the damage was particularly glaring now, as he rested beside you in a short sleeved tunic that highlighted the swell of his arms. Even in the gentle lighting, whatever harm had been inflicted on him by his old “master” had long since twisted the sienna lines into a warped yellow-grey mess across the surface of the limb.
Scars were a commonplace sight across the underworld - some even viewing them as a mark of experience amongst the darker professions that thrived here - yet there was something about seeing them marred across the skin of someone you had grown to care for with increasing intensity that turned your stomach with anger.
You had taken a private trip to the marketplace not long after you had first caught sight of them, vowing to yourself, as you bartered your way to a rudimentary tattoo kit, that if you were ever to meet the person that had defiled him you would gut them yourself.
Now the little bag of equipment dug stubbornly through your pocket and into your thigh as you shifted in place, mulling over how best to voice your suggestion to the Zabrak. Would he be offended? Enraged? Would he even be willing to have your hands on him for as long as it took for you to retouch his tattoos? The shadows surrounding you bloated with your anxiety, swelling and looming ever more menacingly with each twitch of your knee.
“Speak.”
Savage’s stern bellow cut through the charged silence, commanding your attention and silencing the buzz of your thoughts in one fell moment.
Your eyes find his as they stare down at you, their supernatural glow glinting beneath his dark lids.
Like melted starfall, a pretty Theelin cantina-owner had once described them as such. Though she had obviously been attempting to butter the brothers up to spend more at her bar, the comment had stuck with you to this day.
Suddenly you felt incredibly tiny in their spotlight.
Spots of light stain your vision as you raise your head, and you realise that your gaze must have previously fixated on the glare of the fire pit for longer than you thought. Hurried fingers reach to rub at your face in an aim to refocus your vision. Savage’s face rests in an expression which is at once soft but unreadable as you blink up at him.
It's one he wears often these days, when it's just the two of you.
“You only make that face when you have something you wish to ask, so ask it.”
His speech is as straightforward as ever, but the Nightbrother’s tone is softer now, voice purposefully smooth and steady as he folds his hands in his lap and leans to sit back up straight. You can't help but curse inwardly at how quickly he has become able to read you, noting that your poker face must be losing its touch.
You allow a sigh of defeat to pass between you before fishing the kit out of the confines of your cloak pocket, your idea and reasoning spilling out along with it.
Savage’s face remains unmoving for your entire garbled confession and you contemplate hauling yourself to the nearest cantina to drink away the prickling embarrassment currently spreading across your body. Maybe a bartender will take pity on you and wax poetic about your own features just to numb the humiliation of it all.
The heavy weight suddenly dropped across your lap halts you before you have a chance to spring to your haunches. You jump in your seat, heart instantly racing with an all too familiar surge of adrenaline sharpened from years of simply breathing the air in the epicentre of danger. Savage releases a breathy chuckle at your reaction, but the rigidity of the arm splayed out across your thighs doesn't go unnoticed by you, its fingers flexing around the air in clear apprehension. The sight tugs at your heart uncomfortably and manifests itself in a sigh even as the brief panic fades.
“You don’t need to feel obliged, Savage - I can promise you now that it’ll be no masterpiece.”
The words are hollow and you both know it, but there is truth behind it nonetheless - an invitation to back away if it's too overwhelming a suggestion for him to handle. His eyes search yours again and this time your gaze remains steadfast. You note then, how the campfire paints across his skin in a sunset spectrum and suddenly the heat of his arm against you flares to a burn. His fingers continue to ripple over each other almost rhythmically for a moment as his eyes gloss over in thought, it’s a habit of his that became apparent to you early into your partnership - one that had served as a rare glimpse into his inner anxiety back when he’d remained otherwise unreadable. The muscles across his neck and upper body are pulled tight despite the lax position he's settled himself in, and a sizeable part of you now fights the urge to gingerly push him away and coax him to return to his quarters for the night.
His painted lips part to interrupt you once more, the glint of his teeth catching the thought before it could be tempted to coerce you into running once more.
“...Tattoos are important between Nightbrothers,” his voice rumbles like thunder, it stirs across your ribs even as he breaks your gaze to whisper into the embers of the fire pit, “-having another apply them for you is the ultimate sign of trust in our culture.”
The confession winds itself around your heart and thickens the words in your throat until all you can do is wordlessly reach for the pouch of tools and ink between you both.
Savage doesn’t so much as blink when the needle pierces across his flesh, but his complacency does little to prevent your own face from twisting to a cringe each time you cut into a particularly nasty patch of scarring. He has never properly spoken to you of his kin, aside from Maul that is. You had learnt early into meeting them both that raising the topic of family only served to darken the older Zabrak’s brooding, and you had never dared to pry further after that. Yet as you trace the hooked lines cascading down his arm, you can’t help but wonder how many times he has sat through this treatment before - no doubt by hands who’s skill extends beyond merely giving the odd stick-and-poke to an acquaintance within the brotherhood circuit.
The bare expanse of his skin is warm under your hands, apparent even through the barrier of medical gloves sheathing your fingers. It's different to Maul’s however, who’s penchant for going shirtless had often resulted in you brushing up against his heated flesh in the cramped conditions of the bars and marketplaces you visited. You knew Zabraks ran a higher temperature than most other beings, that much was common knowledge - but Savage’s skin was boiling even in comparison to that. However you couldn't ignore that it also left you feeling unnaturally cold each time you pulled away to refill the needle, as if there was something other than just blood stirring beneath its surface. You had been ignorant to how strange the sensation was before, but now as he sat at your mercy there was no escaping it for either of you.
Still, you fought back the shivers that threatened your hand and finished the job to completion, fuelled by affection than ran much deeper than any surface level discomfort ever could.
The campfire had shrunk to a simmer by the time you finally set down the needle. Savage remained motionless even as you let out a satisfied sigh, golden eyes glowing warmly in the moonlight. They retain their hold on your figure even as he takes a moment to flex his freshly inked arm. It requires a great deal of self-restraint to hold back your own from wandering over the broad expanse of his bicep as he rolls out the fatigue rusted across his joints.
“Wait-” your voice is barely above a hurried whisper, yet it seems to echo through the midnight air with a force that makes you both startle - you realise then that neither of you have really spoken the entire time it's taken to ink his arm.
“I need to disinfect and bandage it,” you hold up the small bottle of rubbing alcohol to punctuate your concern, pairing it with what you hope comes off as a casual smile.
Why did your mouth feel like it was stuffed with cotton? The task was done, yet your throat felt so tight it almost hurt to swallow.
“Besides, can’t have you ruining my hard work by stuffing them straight back into your armour straight away, can I?”
Your words, though much less polished than you would have liked them to be, seem to ease the Nightbrother all the same. Savage lets out a grunt of agreement and settles closer to you this time. Another shudder creeps down your spine as his shoulder brushes against your own, the heat continuing to ripple from his body despite the chill of the night having long since settled around you.
Gently, you take hold of his wrist and stretch out the expanse of his forearm across your knees once more. You can feel the muscles contract under your firm touch, as well as the subtle intake of air that grazes past your ear as Savage leans over beside you.
He jolts violently the moment you drag the disinfectant-soaked rag across his flesh, and for a moment you’re gripped with the fear you’ve hurt him, flinching away and almost knocking the bottle over with your foot in the process. There's a beat before he apologises in a voice far too small for a being of his statue. The surprise in your gut gives way to the electric flutter of butterflies as you become all too aware of the warmth of his palm clutching at your knee.
He nods for you to continue as you glance upwards to his face once more. If he can see the flush that has settled across your cheeks in darkness, he doesn't react to it.
His own eyes are preoccupied with following the path of your knuckles as you gently swipe the cloth in smooth motions across the raised patterns on his skin.
“...There.” The comment is mostly spoken to yourself rather than Savage as you wind the dressing around his forearm, but he thanks you all the same in that smooth voice of his.
The shadows have blanketed further now, yet even in the dying light, they no longer seem threatening.
You hold his arm to your face for a while longer. Your eyes are beginning to sting in the low lighting now, but you’re certain that despite your tiredness you could easily trace each and every line on his arm from memory across the bandage concealing them.
Perhaps it's the sleep deprivation that provokes you to edge forward between your fingers and place a chaste kiss against the exposed marigold skin of his wrist.
At least that's what you settle to tell yourself as you pull back, the sharp sting of rubbing-alcohol clinging to your lips.
Perhaps it's just because he looks so wistful.
Perhaps it's just because you’ve wanted to do it for a while now.
His face wears a new expression then - not a smile, but one you think you might like even a bit more. It's slack-jawed and shy, but also paints his face in thinly veiled peachy delight that even seems to brighten the sickly yellow-green bruising beneath his tired eyes.
You make a note to tip the stall owner the next time you pass through the market.
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