#and is anyone out there who also has similar problems but managed to overcome there later in life

[free-therapy-for-me]

Hey quick question into the void: does getting friends ever get easier?

#basically I’m on a three week long language camp #finishing the second week #and it’s the first time I’ve went somewhere for so long completely alone #like without a a single w friend or family member #and honestly: it’s been miserable #back at home I have one best friend who I cannot be thankful enough for #but we’ve known each other for well over ten years and sometimes I feel like that’s the only reason we’re friends #and most of the other people I’m friends with in school are also her friends #so I’m never sure if they actually like me or do we just hang out together #anyways I’ve been on this camp for two weeks now and I haven’t made a single friend #sure I went out with some people but we never talked or anything #and I don’t really talk with my roommate cause she doesn’t speak English #this all got me feeling honeslty terrible and I’ve never had high self-esteem #but there’s not even anything left at the bottom of the barrel to scrape #and now I’m even more terrified of falling out with her #and I know for a fact that we’ll be studying in different countries #and now looking at it I don’t even know what the purpose of this post was #I just want to know will it always feel this lonely #and is anyone out there who also has similar problems but managed to overcome there later in life

[pornaddictionsymptoms]

How to Tell if You're Addicted to Pornography

If you're a therapist, you've likely seen an increase in the number of patients struggling with addiction to pornography. You may be wondering why this is, and what you can do to help.

In this blog post, we'll take a look at some of the reasons why addiction to pornography is on the rise, and offer some tips for how therapists can best support their patients battling this issue.

Do you feel like you need to watch pornography every day, or multiple times a day?

I'm not sure when it started, but there was a point where I realized I was spending more time watching pornography than I was interacting with real people. At first, it wasn't a big deal. I would watch it for a few minutes here and there, and it was a nice way to relax. But then the urge to watch pornography became more frequent, and eventually it seemed like I needed to watch it multiple times a day just to feel normal. It became a major part of my life, and the thought of going without it for even a day made me feel anxious. I knew something wasn't right, but I couldn't break the cycle on my own. Thankfully, I was able to get help from a therapist who specialized in addiction, and with their support I was finally able to break free from my dependence on pornography. If you're struggling with a similar addiction, don't be afraid to reach out for help. There is no shame in admitting that you need assistance, and with the right treatment you can overcome this problem.

Does pornography interfere with your work, school, or relationships?

There's no question that pornography is hugely popular, with millions of people around the world accessing it every day. But there is also a growing body of evidence that pornography can have a number of negative effects. For example, it has been linked to poorer academic performance, lower job satisfaction, and relationship problems. In fact, some experts believe that pornography may be addictive, in much the same way as drugs or alcohol. While there is still debate about the extent of its harmful effects, it's clear that pornography addiction symptoms can have a significant impact on people's lives. For anyone struggling to deal with its effects, there are a number of support groups and resources available. But ultimately, it's up to each individual to decide whether or not they want to continue viewing pornography.

Have you ever felt guilty or ashamed after watching pornography?

Many people feel guilty or ashamed after watching pornography. They may feel like they are doing something wrong or that they are betraying their partner. They may also feel bad about the way they are treating the people in the videos. All of these feelings are normal. It is important to remember that there is nothing wrong with watching pornography. It is a normal part of many people's sex lives. If you are feeling guilty or ashamed, try to talk to your partner about it. They may be able to help you feel better about it. You can also talk to a therapist or counselor if you want to explore your feelings more.

Do you find yourself spending more and more time watching pornography, to the point where it's impacting your life negatively in some way?"

If you find that you're spending more time watching pornography than you'd like, it's important to take stock of how it's impacting your life. For some people, pornography can be a harmless form of entertainment. However, it can also be detrimental to your mental and physical health. viewing pornography can lead to body image issues, as well as problems with sexual dysfunction. It can also be addictive, causing you to spend less time on activities that are important to you. If you feel like pornography is impacting your life in a negative way, it's important to reach out for help. There are professionals who can assist you in overcoming an addiction and help you to manage any underlying issues. With the right support, you can break free from the negative cycle of addiction and improve your overall wellbeing.

If you answered yes to any of these questions, then there is a good chance that you are addicted to pornography. But don't worry - there is help available!

Do you spend hours scrolling through graphic images or videos? Do you feel like you need to see more and more extreme content in order to be aroused? Do you find yourself neglecting work, family, or other commitments in order to view pornography? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then there is a good chance that you are addicted to pornography. But don't worry - there is help available! There are many resources available for those who want to break free from the cycle of addiction, including online support groups, therapy, and self-help books. With commitment and effort, it is possible to overcome an addiction to pornography and lead a healthy and fulfilling life.

If you are addicted to pornography, there is help available. You don't have to suffer through this addiction alone. There are people who care about you and want to help you through this difficult time. Seek out their help and start on the road to recovery today.

[potentialunlimitedtraining]

Hypnotherapy For Public Speaking- Book today

Hypnotherapy is a type of therapy that involves the use of hypnosis to help people with various mental and physical related problems. In this article, we'll go over what hypnotherapy actually is, how it works, the benefits, the risks, and how you can get started.

What is Hypnotherapy (introduction, what it is and how it works)

Hypnotherapy is a form of psychological therapy that uses trance states to help people change their thoughts and behaviors. The goal of hypnotherapy is to help people feel more relaxed and confident, which can improve their performance in any situation.

There are many different types of hypnotherapy, but all of them use similar techniques to help the patient relax and focus their thoughts. First, the therapist will ask the patient to describe a time in their life when they felt calm, confident, or happy. Next, the therapist will use this information to create a hypnosis session specifically for the patient.

During the session, the therapist will work with the patient to increase their relaxation and confidence. This can help them perform better in any situation, whether it’s public speaking or overcoming a difficult challenge.

How Can Hypnotherapy Help - Why Do People Seek It Out?

Hypnotherapy has been used for centuries to treat a variety of issues. It is sometimes called “self-hypnosis” because it helps you to control your own thoughts and emotions.

Hypnotherapy can help you to:

1. Reduce stress and anxiety before public speaking engagements.

2. Improve your confidence and performance during speeches by calming your nerves and centering yourself.

3. Manage stage fright or any other fears related to public speaking.

4. Recover from traumatic experiences that have affected your speech patterns, such as public Speaking 101 tips for overcoming stage fright in 5 minutes or less!

How to Use Hypnosis for Public Speaking

Hypnosis can be a powerful tool for public speaking. It can help you relax and focus in preparation for your speech. Additionally, hypnosis can help you stay focused during your speech and reduce anxiety.

The Truth About Commercialism in Psychology and Therapy

There is a lot of misconceptions about what public speaking and hypnotherapy are. This article will help clear up some of the myths about commercialism in psychology and therapy, and offer some tips on how to get the most out of these treatments.

The first myth is that public speaking and hypnotherapy are only for celebrities or people who have a lot of money. This couldn’t be further from the truth! Public speaking can be beneficial for anyone, regardless of their wealth or social status. Hypnotherapy can help people with anxiety, depression, stress, and phobias, as well as those who just want to improve their public speaking skills.

The second myth is that public speaking is hard and hypnosis is useless. While both can be challenging at times, they are definitely worth trying if you want to improve your public Speaking skills! In fact, many people find that using both treatments together yields the best results.

The third myth is that public speaking means giving a speech in front of an audience. This is not always the case! Public speaking can also include preparing presentations or speeches for family or friends, participating in focus groups or interviews, or even giving impromptu talks when you meet new people.

So if you're interested in improving yourpublic Speaking skills but don't know where to start, try using hypnosis and/or public speaking treatments from a qualified therapist. They can help you work on any challenges you may have while also boosting

Does This Have Anything To Do With EFT?

Hypnotherapy is a form of alternative therapy that utilizes hypnosis to help treat mental health issues and other problems. In public speaking, hypnotherapy can be used to help people overcome fears or anxieties related to speaking in front of a large audience.

Before undergoing hypnotherapy for public speaking, it is important to understand what the therapy is and how it works. Hypnosis is a state of deep relaxation in which you are more focused and responsive to suggestion. During hypnotherapy for public speaking, your therapist will work with you on specific techniques to help you overcome your fear or anxiety. These techniques may include imagery exercises, self-talk interventions, and progressive relaxation techniques.

The Future of Psychological Services and Your Role

The future of psychological services and your role is looking bright. There are so many new and innovative ways to help people, from online therapy to mindfulness meditation. Here are three ways hypnotherapy could be used in the future:

1. Cognitive-behavioral therapy for anxiety and depression.

Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is a popular treatment for anxiety and depression that uses techniques such as cognitive restructuring and exposure therapy. CBT has been shown to be effective, but can be time-consuming and require dedicated resources. Hypnotherapy could be used to supplement CBT by providing short sessions that target specific areas of difficulty, such as anxiety or depressive thoughts. This would improve adherence rates and make treatment more affordable for everyone involved.

2. Stress reduction training for workers in high-stress jobs.

Workplace stress is a serious issue that has been linked with health problems, such as heart disease and stroke. Research shows that stress can have a negative effect on mental health, including feelings of sadness, anger, frustration, and guilt. Hypnotherapy may be an effective way to reduce stress levels in workers in high-stress jobs by addressing stressful thoughts and behaviors head on. This type of hypnotherapy can also help people learn how to manage their emotions effectively so they don’t feel overwhelmed by stress at work.

3. Mindfulness training for chronic pain sufferers.

Chronic pain is a common problem that affects millions

Conclusion

Hypnotherapy for public speaking is a therapy that uses hypnosis to help people overcome anxiety or fear before speeches, presentations, or other public events. The therapist will work with you one-on-one to help you identify the source of your anxiety and develop a plan of action to reduce or eliminate it. After the therapy session, you should continue to practice your new skills by rehearsing your speech in private and preparing mentally for the event. If you're feeling anxious about giving a speech, give Hypnotherapy for Public Speaking a try - I'm confident that it will help improve your performance!

#Hypnotherapy For Public Speaking- Book today

[drtylerbuckley]

5 Ways to Participate in Mental Health Awareness Month

May is Mental Health Awareness Month, observed in the United States since 1949. Numerous events, such as media campaigns and community events, are held throughout the month. Films are also screened to raise awareness. Here are some ways you may participate in Mental Health Awareness Month! These activities will enable you to make a difference in your neighborhood.

Donate to a mental health nonprofit or help a community member with a mental disease. You can petition your state's governor to make May Mental Health Awareness Month. To share with your political authorities, Mental Health America provides a toolkit that includes a sample proclamation and the State of the National Mental Health in America report. Because of the upcoming midterm elections, now is crucial to advocate for mental health.

Get assistance when you require it. For example, you can get guidance from a friend or family member or use an internet tool. Asking for help from someone you trust can make you feel better. Even if you don't want to talk about your feelings, doing so is necessary. Mental illness could be to blame if you believe you are losing control of your life. Anyone, including you, can be affected by mental illness.

Don't disregard the stigma associated with discussing mental health. The tools on this page can assist you in starting crucial conversations and connecting with others. If you are concerned that someone you know is struggling, use the tools provided by the National Alliance on Mental Illness. These tools will assist you in raising awareness about mental health and reducing the stigma associated with it.

You can even take the discussion to your workplace. For example, you can have a speaker speak on mental health at a breakfast event or a morning tea event. They can talk about various issues, including anxiety and stress management. They can also recommend stress-relieving hobbies. If you can't locate a speaker for your event, consider inviting a mental health advocate to speak.

Mental health awareness month is a beautiful opportunity for your firm to include employees in a healthy living event. You can even hold a wellness gift exchange at your workplace. Make a gift exchange similar to the Secret Santa gift exchange, but instead, give away wellness-related items. Gifts can include everything from stress balls to self-help books. You can also hand out leaflets with information regarding workplace mental health.

You can also set up a forum for parents, students, and teachers to share strategies for avoiding and overcoming the stigma connected with mental health. You may even interview local mental health professionals to create an expert film, poster, or podcast. Many organizations offer additional training and resources to educators and parents to assist them in supporting those in their life who are dealing with mental health difficulties.

Similarly, by speaking freely about your condition and sharing your experiences, you can help lessen the stigma associated with mental health. It will make you feel less alone and make seeking treatment simpler. When you share your difficulties, you make the world a better place for everyone. A mental health awareness month is the ideal time to start a conversation that will lead to a better quality of life for you or a loved one.

The mental health stigma has a catastrophic impact on the lives of LGBTQ individuals. They are twice as likely as heterosexuals to suffer from mental health problems. They are also more likely than the average population to have suicidal thoughts. This stigma is particularly damaging to LGBTQ youth. According to the CDC, LGBT youth are three to five times as likely as heterosexual youth to experience significant mental health difficulties.

Despite the stigma, research demonstrates that persons with mental health conditions can recover. It is expected that 70% to 90% of persons suffering from mental diseases will experience a reduction in symptoms and improve their quality of life. However, without assistance, this recovery will be impossible to attain. It would help if you were open to sharing your experiences with others. You must get treatment if you or someone you know exhibits any signs of mental illness. The sooner you get medical attention, the better.

The stigma associated with mental health illnesses can deter people from getting assistance. However, it is never too late to begin if you are ready to seek assistance. Remember that you can overcome mental health issues if you're prepared to take action.

[okayto]

Mini-Review: Heaven’s Design Team

In Heaven's Animal Design Department, designers create a variety of new animals daily while contending with the unreasonable requests of their client: God. 

Oh man, this was fun.

“In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. He followed them with light, waters, and the land. Then he created the many animals that would inhabit it. Or...that was the plan. It got too tedious, so he outsourced it.”

Shimoda is an angel, whose job is to facilitate communication between the client (God) and the design team. Shimoda knows absolutely nothing about design principles or animals, so his wide-eyed curiosity functions as the vehicle for plenty of explanations about why, for example, large size often leads to problems.

Similar to Cells at Work, you’ll probably learn something while watching the show, but it’s not edutainment.

It’s primarily a comedy show. The theology, such as it is, is there only to support the setup and the jokes: there’s a client who keeps giving weird, difficult and/or vague requests to a team of designers! And the designers all have different ideas about what works or looks good, and each has their favorite pet project! It’s just that the client is “God” and the designers are...not angels, I don’t think, but definitely nonhuman beings.

You have to accept the setup as allowing the joke of the series to shine through. There are no humans, nor is the series fixed in time, as in one episode the team manages to create both an (IRL) extinct creature and a living one.

Many episodes would deal with the process of trying to refine a creation to meet “the client’s” request while overcoming design challenges: “aquatic but a bad swimmer” “cute but not cute” “a bird that looks like a precious stone.” 

And along the way, there are shenanigans: field testing, or what’s theoretically a relaxing spa day. Is this just an excuse to have character and/or animal hijinks in new settings? Yes. Does it work? Also yes.

A fun game to engage in while watching was trying to figure out what real-world creature the design would turn out to be at the end, as they refine something from nightmare fuel or incompatible-with-life quirks into something that can, ostensibly exist.

Of course, anyone who has ever tried to do any kind of brainstorming with a group knows that people can have very different ideas of what is fitting for any given assignment. Each of the designers--all named after the planets--has their own preferences and quirks. Leader Saturn, for example, came up with the horse before the series started, and now (riding that wave of success) tries to incorporate a horse design into every new brief he works on.

Venus and Mercury, responsible for birds and snakes respectively, are in a sort of evolutionary-design arms race to keep their creations from getting eaten by the other’s. Neptune, a big, burly guy who looks like a walking hug machine, likes soft, fluffy and cute things, while small, cute Pluto likes cute creatures...but her definition of “cute” usually involves deadly toxins or parasites.

(Insects, incidentally, belong to a completely different design department, so if you’re squeamish you won’t see much of them.)

Verdict

English Dub? No.

Visuals: Nice and bright! I loved how the colors had a faint texture applied that made it look like they’d been colored in with markers.

Worth Watching? Heck yes. It’s fantastically entertaining, humorous, and can also act like a palate cleanser if you’ve been watching something serious, dramatic, or even just long. (I watched with my roommate after finishing a season of Battlebots and also Snow White with the Red Hair, and we needed something that wouldn’t trap us for weeks.) Also, the theme song is a bop.

Where to watch (USA, as of January 2022): Crunchyroll & VRV

Click my “reviews” tag below or search “mini review” on my blog to find more!

#Heaven's Design Team #Tenchi Souzou Design-bu #anime #reviews #recommendation

[erenaeoth]

Questions 7, 8, 9, 17, 23, 24, 28, 29, 76 For Kazuya >:) (please :))

Thank you for these delightful numbers >:)

I had to answer in the 3rd person, because he would just tell you lies for most of these answers “I don’t have a heart” “I’ve literally never cared for anyone” “there are no lies because I’m not hiding anything :)” you know, edgy stuff because he’s Like That.

7. What is the one thing people assume about you that you wish was true?

People assume that he has no heart and cannot be swayed or moved to pity or sympathy. This is not true and he wishes it was. Plenty of what he considers his worst decisions have been made on the back of people managing to get under his layers and tug at his heart. Chief among them Kazama Jun, but there are others too, like a young Lee Chaolan all newly arrived on the estate.

8. What is the one thing people assume about you that you wish wasn’t true?

Kazuya generally doesn’t care about what other people think about him, and neither does he have any interest in correcting false assumptions. Sometimes though, those opinions are still tough to live with. If he walks into a room, people tend to assume he has a temper and may do them violence. He hates that they’re right and afraid of him before he’s even done anything (which then makes him angrier and more likely to prove them correct). Thanks to Devil’s aura around him, people fearing him has been a staple from his early childhood, and it always enraged him that people would be backing away before he’d even given them reason to realise that their fear was very justified.

9. When was the last time you lied to protect your image?

Kazuya’s somewhat shameless in what he and his corporations do, since he sees himself as the antithesis to Heihachi, who will always charm the press and everyone in the room into not seeing the horrific things he does. Kazuya despises that attitude and leaves it all out in the open. Within reason. He’s not actively looking to divulge all his suspect activities. He regularly has G Corp employees inform the press that all their human test subjects are volunteers (they’re not), and before that, he didn’t even admit that there were any human experiments occurring in G Corporation (despite having been one himself). The last time he personally lied to anyone, was to protect his image as uncaring and aloof. He plans to take back the other half of Devil from Jin, but contrary to what he keeps telling those around him, he does in fact care about the state that might leave Jin in (not that it will stop him). He doesn’t know his son, nor have any particular grievance with him beyond the things he has that Kazuya wants – Devil and the Zaibatsu. It also doesn’t help that when he looks at Jin all he can see are his similarities to Jun. That infuriates him, but in a way that definitely isn’t indifferent to his well-being.

17. Is it your fear of commitment or your fear of intimacy that makes you shut down more?

Intimacy. Kazuya has no problem with commitment. He dedicates himself 100% to whatever he chooses to do and no matter what odds befall him, he remains dedicated to his goals. This goes for his personal life too. In fact, it’s more of a problem for everyone else around him. He likes to dig his claws in and hold on to everything. He wants to own and control everything around him, and anyone who wants to get out from under him will have some trouble. Intimacy is a totally different story. He hates the emotional vulnerability it implies and the idea that someone might see what he perceives as the “weaknesses” from his past that he’s had to overcome to get here. In Kazuya’s head, even the idea of once being young, once not knowing his martial arts, missing his mother, caring for his grandfather – these are all weaknesses that he doesn’t want exposed to others who might exploit them. Intimacies that attempt to delve into his past make him shut down.

23. What is the most interesting white lie you’ve told?

It depends what you mean by ‘interesting’. He once told Lee that his ex-lover “was fine” because at that very precise moment he was still alive. He once told Lee he “wouldn’t have broken his hand just because Heihachi challenged him to break it” – the situation resolved before he had to make the choice, but honestly Kazuya probably would have. He once told Jun that eating at a cheap random cafe of her choice was “no problem at all”, because she looked hungry, but in fact it was a logistical security nightmare which he had to covertly circumnavigate whilst she wasn’t looking, and he despised everything on the cafe menu.

24. Do you ever feel like an imposter?

No. He is arrogantly sure of his place in the world, and believes he’s not only inherited, but also earned through his own sweat and blood, everything he possesses. He has no interest in fitting in, or fitting others’ expectations of him, so he never feels like he’s trying to be something he’s not. He’s different and the world should be looking up to him, in his opinion.

28. How do you deal when you know someone’s not willing to give you what you want?

I think we all know the answer is “not well.” Kazuya does have differing levels of commensurate response. He won’t immediately throw you out of a window if you file a report wrong, unless he’s having a particularly bad day. Unless it’s a matter of personal honour or some other high stake, he’ll deal with it through corporate channels – bribery first, then intimidation, then slowly upwards from there until eventually he just takes what he wants through violence. When that’s not possible, it’s usually because the person defying him has similar power to him, either politically/economically or physically. For the former, he will scheme to bring about their downfall, for the latter he will seek out a one-on-one fight and attempt to resolve the problem by proving his physical superiority.

29. Are you ever afraid of people knowing who you really are?

Not really. When people have got it in their heads that he’s truly a tyrannical, merciless monster, they exhibit little interest in trying to evaluate any evidence that may contradict these claims, and in fairness to them, there isn’t a whole lot. Kazuya likes the armour all those rumours give him, and the way they detract people from prying into where he’s more vulnerable. The people who know who he is – Jun, Lee, Heihachi, and sometimes Bruce and Anna, already know what they know. Kazuya is at the very least assured no one else is likely to be joining those ranks any time soon.

76. How do you entertain yourself when you’re not around people?

He trains. He likes to channel all his waking energy into honing himself into a weapon, and any moment alone not doing this feels wasted. Other pasttimes he will do alone are fine-dining: he prefers to eat alone, and does enjoy sampling fine cuisines, though he hates being displeased, so won’t be too adventurous with what he chooses. He doesn’t give himself a whole lot of freetime though, and is something of a workaholic and perfectionist. He can’t sit still with his own mind – and always needs to be thinking about the next steps towards acquisition. He can project calm to others, but when keeping his own company, becomes easily frustrated that things aren’t moving fast enough and are still outside his grasp.

Thank you for the ask!

#tumblr deeply hated me writing tags. so i had to delete them before this would post. but I may answer this in character some time #then you can see the difference >:) ty for this it was fun. kaz live in my head all day every day #kazuya mishima #tekken #interview the muse meme #tekken headcanons

[magnoliabloomfield]

Possession Part 10

This one is super long, it got away from me, but i don't think any of you will mind lol. Expand for story time.

Gally sat in the gathering hall, his heel bouncing against the dirt floor. As everyone settled in, Newt gave him a glance that put most of his nerves at ease, and for good reason. Once the discussion started it was clear that Alby had already decided that she was to be a Keeper in her own right. Some confusion and groans went around the others but Alby put a fast stop to them, explaining it was the only way to uphold the one rule about her and everything else Gally had said to Newt. He was glad he wasn’t the one trying to convince anyone or having to take credit for the idea.

The only thing left to settle was what she would be a keeper of. They decided to go around to each keeper and see what they had observed about her.

“Gally, you worked with her first, what do you think?” Alby started off with him.

Gally crossed his arms and thought for a moment, forcing his mind to other things than when her eyes softened as she looked at him. “She’s good at following direction,” he started out and earned a nod from every other keeper who had worked with her as well. “If you don’t give her something to do she will just find something to do. When there was nothing left she could do on the building project she went around giving everyone water and wet rags to keep cool. So, she’s not lazy and she has a fair bit of common sense. Plus, being smaller she can help with things no one else can get to.”

“I bet you wish you could be her keeper then,” Zart spoke up out of turn, earning a furrowed glare from Gally that made him backpedal quickly. “Just because of how helpful she seems to be to the building team.”

Gally would never even hint that he wouldn't have minded being her keeper, that he was the only one he trusted to take care of her right. But those feelings were just another confirmation that she should be her own keeper.

“She did well in the medhut, but she admitted that she might not be able to handle some of the worse things that come through there,” Clint spoke up next. “But she is good at organizing, she transformed the storage and it’s totally easier to find things now. If possible I’d like to have her rewrite the notes we took on treating injuries because her hand writing is so much better than mine or Jeff’s, just throwing that out there.”

“She was good at the smaller tasks in the garden,” Zart said. “But she’s not so good at the more difficult physical tasks.”

“I think that’ll be a common thread, nothing heavily physical I should think,” Newt tacked on out of turn.

“I don’t have anything bad to say about her,” Fry started up. “But she just wasn’t fast enough in the kitchen. But to be fair, no one ever is on their first day. It takes a while to learn muscle memory and I just don’t have that kind of time when all of you are counting on me to get you fed day in and day out.”

Gally lightly gripped his chin in thought. There was something similar in everything they were saying, there was some common thread.

“You have an idea Gally?” Newt asked, breaking him from his trance.

“Well, it sounds like, in one way or another, everyone would agree her attention to detail is very good,” Gally mused aloud, not focusing on anyone just yet as he continued to think. “It’s like we all could use her help in certain situations but not necessarily all the time. So… maybe she could be the keeper of odd jobs? She could organize whatever needs organized, she can write down what needs written, she can assist whenever we need someone small, or whenever something intricate or tedious needs done and we can’t spare someone able bodied for it. She could help us all while not belonging to anyone.”

“The Keeper of Odd Jobs?” Shawn repeated incredulously. The Keeper of the baggers was never one to go with the flow. “Why don’t we just make her the Keeper of the Laundry?”

“Laundry is the slopper’s job and it takes more than one person to do,” Alby pointed out. “Unless you want to make her keeper of the sloppers. I don’t know if the little punks would hate answering to a girl or love it.”

“She needs to be the keeper of herself, and then any other girls who may or may not show up,” Gally dared to add.

“Well, let her go off and do whatever she feels like then, why does she have to be a keeper?” Shawn went on complaining.

“Because the keepers decide what happens in the glade,” Alby said with an edge to his voice. “Those decisions effect her now so she should get a say in them, she should have her perspective heard.”

Nikola was surprised when the gathering broke up and no one came to talk to her about her assignment. Even if Alby didn’t come and inform her she figured whoever it was would be excited enough to come tell her himself. Except for Gally. She felt a hopeful little jump in her chest that she was going to be a builder. She knew Gally would do right by her, protect her and be kind enough to her without being creepy. But he wouldn’t be bursting at the seams happy to tell her either.

As she was in line getting dinner that evening, still thinking about her assignment, she felt a presence looming up on her.

“Hey,” Gally’s voice called out to her as he came up from behind.

She felt another jolt, thinking this was finally it, he was coming to tell her he really was her keeper.

“You’ll want to stick around for this meal, Newt is saving a seat for you,” was all he said before walking off to his own table.

Nikola was left standing there in confusion, not expecting that. She also felt a little miffed that he wasn’t saving a seat for her himself, but expected her to go sit with Newt. Nevertheless she followed his instruction and awkwardly sat beside Newt at a table with Zart and Alby himself.

“Hey,” she greeted them blandly. “I heard you were saving a seat for me here, what’s up?”

“We have a special announcement to make and it has to do with you,” Newt started explaining with an amused smirk. “We wanted to make sure you were around to hear it since you seem to get antisocial at meal times.”

Nikola couldn’t help the small furrow in her brow from confusion. She didn’t care about his jab at her not sticking around for meals and didn’t bother explaining that’s the only time she could hear herself think, she just wondered what this announcement was. She looked around, trying to spot Gally as if just seeing him would bring her some comfort. She didn’t manage to catch sight before Alby stood up and addressed the gladers.

“Now that everyone’s here, I want to announce what the council decided on for the latest greenie, Nikola,” he shouted and earned everyone’s attention as the chatter fell to a silence. However, when he mentioned Nikola a few whoops and wolf whistles were heard. “Shut up you shanks,” Alby chastised them. “Because she’s the newest Keeper.”

Nikola couldn’t keep the shock off her face, but her surprise turned sour rather quickly as the announcement was met with a silence that bubbled to a murmur around her.

“I know you might be confused by this,” Alby acknowledged them. “But you’re not going to put up a fuss about it, and you’re certainly not going to give Nikola any clunk about either. It was the council’s decision and she never asked for it. We made her a keeper so she can lead any other girls that might show up in the future, and now that we have girl living here and sharing our glade with us, her voice should be heard about what goes on here.”

Nikola started to think that made a lot of sense and definitely liked that they were willing to listen to her and let her have a say in what went on there. But Alby wasn’t done.

“Besides all that, it was the only way to make sure we didn’t break the new rule,” He added, making Nikola’s brows furrow in confusion. What new rule had they made about her?

“She doesn’t belong to anybody.”

Nikola felt the blood rush to her face. She felt angry, but she wasn’t sure why. It was actually ideal, she couldn’t be ordered around by one keeper, she wasn’t being treated like an object or property, but there was something alienating about it too. It was a very complex situation and so were her emotions about it.

“What does that mean?” she whispered to Newt as Alby said a few last words to cement the whole thing and draw the announcement to a conclusion. “That I don’t belong to anybody?”

Newt shifted uncomfortably and cleared his throat. “Well, uh, you’re the first girl anyone here has seen for as long as they can remember. But there’s only one of you and dozens of them. We were afraid it would cause some problems if, uh…”

“I had some kind of… exclusive relationship with someone?” she pressed.

“Yeah,” Newt sighed in relief because he didn’t have to try and say it himself.

She turned away with a sigh of her own as she looked out on the grassy meadow of the glade shadowed from the setting sun and camp fires. “If all of them can’t have me, none of them shall. That kind of deal, huh?”

“If it makes you feel any better,” Alby cut in, having heard some of the conversation. “It’s not like anyone else has ever liked the living situation here-“

“And me being here just made it worse?” She cut in, staring him down with a deadened expression.

“That’s not it,” Newt leaned in, trying to smooth it over.

“Whose idea was it?” Nikola asked.

“What, the rule?” Newt asked.

“I came up with the rule the moment you arrived,” Alby admitted easily. “I’m doing my best to keep this place from falling into chaos every day, and I know you didn’t ask to be sent here, but you are here and that’s going to present new problems I have to work hard to overcome whether everyone likes it or not.”

Nikola understood where he was coming from but it didn’t make her feel very good. In fact, she was pretty sure she was going to cry. She hadn’t done that yet, she’d been too busy or had other things on her mind. She pressed her lips together and pushed back from the table.

“It was Gally,” Newt said quickly before she could get up and leave.

She looked at him, her tears put on temporary hold.

“Gally suggested you be a keeper so no one could act like they owned you and you’d have a voice on the council,” he elaborated.

That was a whole new thing to try and process, so she got up, leaving them and the rest of her dinner behind, and headed to her prison tower. As safe and kindly built as it was, it just further isolated her. The worst kind of isolation was not being alone, but being surrounded with people you either couldn’t trust or couldn’t get close to. She realized that’s the kind of isolation she was in. Sure, she didn’t want to belong to someone the way an animal or object belongs to a person, but she wanted to feel like she belonged in the world, even one as small and messed up as this one.

“Nikola,” a gruff voice called after her when she was halfway to her house.

She closed her eyes at having been caught, at having to interact with someone when she needed to go off and feel her feelings. As her eyes closed, she felt tears fall. She hadn't realized it had started already. She stayed there with her back turned to them and hoped they would just talk and make it quick.

“What’s wrong?” She recognized Gally’s voice drawing up cautiously behind her and it felt like a fist wrapped around her heart, and extra squeeze of sadness came over her that she wasn’t expecting. “Nikola?”

“Nothing,” she lied as she crossed her arms, trying to play off how thick her voice sounded from the held back tears.

But he had rounded her to her side and she looked at him. It was a bit of a surprise to see the biggest, toughest guy look like a deer in the headlights when he saw her face. She tried to hide her expression, but she couldn’t suck tears back into her eyes.

“Are you… crying?” he asked quietly.

“So what if I am?” she asked as she fiercely wiped her face. “Am I not allowed?”

He looked away and she thought she saw him ball up a fist.

“You can, I just…” he looked down and then changed his mind about finishing that sentence. “Is there something I can do?”

“I doubt it,” she said and took a step toward her house, toward her well deserved privacy to cry, but stopped. “Why did you want me to be a keeper?”

He seemed surprised that she knew that and his wide eyes quickly looked away from her again. “So you wouldn’t have to answer to anyone,” he said to his boots. “So they’d have to listen to you instead of making you listen to them. They don’t know what it’s like for a girl here, so you should get a say in the things that are going to affect your life. I thought that would be a good thing, I didn’t realize you’d be upset by it.”

“I’m not,” she blurted, not being able to take the kicked puppy act from the big guy. “It’s not that part, it was the part about not belonging to anyone.”

That caused him to lock eyes with her in confusion. “What?”

“No, I know. I know. It just,” she let out a frustrated sigh. “I get it, I’m not property or anything so I appreciate it, but there’s a whole other meaning to belonging and it feels like I’m never going to belong here in that sense when everyone can only get so close to me, you know?”

He just stared down at her like he didn’t know.

“Forget it,” she sighed as she started for her house again, somehow feeling even worse.

“No, wait a second,” he pressed, catching up to her. “I want to understand.”

Gally rarely met a problem within the Glade that he couldn’t fix. Nothing was as challenging as the girl, but he was confident that with proper effort he could do something useful.

“Do you have a best friend?” she spun on him and asked, her voice sounding different as her nose stuffed up a little from the crying. “There are some people that you’re just closer to than others, right?”

He thought of Newt and how he spent more time with him than Shawn who he didn’t like at tall. He wasn’t sure if that would qualify as being best friends though.

“Can I have a best friend here, or would that just make everyone else jealous? Is there anyone I can laugh with, is there a shoulder I’m allowed to cry on or do I have to rotate through everyone in the glade to keep it fair? I’m already the only girl which is a lonely enough thing but it feels like I’m not even- like, I’m not allowed to be human.”

Gally tried to process what she said even as the sight of her crying in front of him caused him unusual distress. He found it hard to keep his hands by his sides.

“Well, I’m here. Aren’t I?” he asked her.

Her eyes were glassy and surprised as she looked up at him, slightly hopeful.

“I don’t know if you’d think of me as best friend material, but I never walk away from people, especially the ones I can help,” he told her, his conviction in what he was saying let him hold her gaze.

She was the first one to shy away. Her head tilted down, her falling tear drops twinkling in the low light, but he thought he saw a small smile before she looked down.

“You’re right,” she nodded. “You’re not really best friend material.”

She looked up and a big grin cracked on her tear stained face, she was teasing him. He broke into a relieved grin of his own, glad she wasn’t serious, and she let out a little laugh, possibly her first one.

“I’m kidding of course,” she assured him. “You’ve been a pretty good friend so far.”

She pursed her lips as her eyes looked skyward, as if recounting all the things he’d done to earn him that commendation. She let out a heavy breath but she seemed to be feeling better than when he found her.

“Thank you, Gally. Goodnight,” she smiled softly, slightly turning toward her house again, but waiting on him.

“Goodnight,” it slipped from his lips before he could even think of restraining it, and he wasn’t upset about it when he saw her smile grow a little before she went off to her house for real that time.

He watched her go for a moment, turned to go, but looked back once more. She was on the bottom rung of her ladder taking a glance back at him as well.

Masterlist

Note about me: Hey yall! sorry for the long wait, I had Vertigo and headaches 24/7 for two weeks. They switched me to to 24 hour release Webutrin and I'm on 500mg of Salt Stick Vitasium for my POTS and that's doing the trick! I finally feel like a functioning human being again and brain can story again. I wanna keep brining you Gally fun, but I also want to get back into my original novel too, so anyone who might want to take a look at some of my own original writing and hype me up I'd appreciate it so much! let me know if you want to.

and now to make some people's notifications happy:

@gladerscake @quackquackbi @poulterjonas @crazysheeplyca @neilox @thesuitkovian @carp3d1em @cottoncandy-dreamxd @emilyhadenbaker

#thirsting over gally's thick ankles #gally imagine #tmr #the maze runner #fan fic #tmr gally #gally tmr #will poulter #will poulter protection squad

[youwontlikethisblog]

She's Ugly!

In a previous post I briefly touch on the subject of Armando and his belief of love. Here I will be going into more detail on my personal experiences as a writer who has written complex OC's with a very similar nature to that of Armando. I will be talking about some pretty heavy topics here so this is your warning if they make you uncomfortable or trigger you.

As a writer you spend most of your time doing research. You don't really spend it writing as more than 75% of the time is dedicated to researching the entirety of your story and it's characters. That means you research on mental health, social behaviors, addictions, learned behavior, coping mechanisms, ect... to create an authentic and realistic character.

When I was doing research for my OC, based on the past I wrote for them I had to look into the consequences that it carried into adulthood. I had to do a lot of research on coping mechanism and seggs addiction(I write really sad characters um but that's besides the point. Also try explaining your search history when you've got tabs and tabs about centers that deal with that addiction and so on).

[Below this I will talk about Seggsual Addiction and such. if it makes you uncomfortable skip to the next [RED]].

Doing that research I found out that many people who do have that addiction often use it as a form of escapism, control, or due to a lot more severe trauma. Sometimes it's just the feeling you get from that. Some have this addiction because of low self-esteem, feelings of worthlessness, and also because it's something they can control, or at the very least in their denial stage they believe that they can.

Seggs Addiction is when someone cannot function without it. When it becomes a problem in that person's life and ruins friendships, relationships, and their professional life. It can range from content watching to actual action of the addiction. This is a serious problem as it often leaves the people feeling helpless, dirty, lowers the quality of life and they feel a lot of shame due to it and it's something that they need professional help to be able to control and overcome, just like drug addiction.

[Now I will be talking about Armando and why this relates to this breakdown. You may proceed.]

Do I believe Armando has that? Not necessarily. I am not a professional so I cannot diagnose someone with that. I just know a lot about the subject because I had to do research on the topic in the past.

Armando is a complex character. The reason I bring this up is because he does show traits of it. Do his affairs get in the way of his professional life? Somewhat. Does it ruin friendships? Yes. Does it ruin relationships? Yes, mainly his.

We know Armando has had an array of women in his life. He is desired by a lot of women(I seriously do however believe that Mario is a s. addict).

I've thought about this part of his character for a while. I really don't know what Fernando Gaitan researched or what inspired him to write Armando's character so this is really just my own personal speculation and is not a fact of the show.

From the start we are told that Armando is a man with refined taste and high standards for his women. The secretaries tells this to Betty, if I'm not mistaken Marcela mentioned it once, and Mario tells him all the time.

A poster here in the tag made a post about the situation of Mario and Aura Maria and they did a really good job at breaking down this side of Armando; that he doesn't have a refined taste or high standards for women but rather he doesn't like involving himself with women who are not in the same social statues and circles as him because of the abuse of power that it entitles.

When he told Mario he wanted to fire Claudia for being crazy Mario reminded him of what he told him when he wanted Armando to fire Aura Maria and because of that Armando decides not to personally fire Claudia, it wasn't until Marcela asked for her head that he asked Hugo to fire her.

Now let me step away from the story and explain why I have this speculation.

Armando's parents aren't very active in his life. They're only there when it comes to the company or his relationship with Marcela(I already talked about his parents in The Art of Subtly in YSBLF post) now imagine that as you're growing up. That your parents aren't actively in your life unless you're achieving or accomplishing something. We know Armando has a sister that doesn't talk to their parents and is only in contact with him. That their mother possibly ruined her marriage to a man because he was poor. This tells us that his parents aren't the best.

A child who grows up having to overcompensate and over achieve grows up with low self-esteem, feelings of worthlessness, and other problems. They grow up believing that the only way they are worthy of love is by being perfect and they become obsessed with achieving perfection.

Due to this upbringing Armando is a control freak, neurotic, egocentric, and obsessed with perfection. He gets stressed out when things don't go his way. He has grown up in the fashion world and beauty has been fed to him that it is tall, thin, and above all has to be perfect.

A child is a product of their environment.

This has molded Armando into the person he is today.

On top of that Armando basically has his entire life planned out by his parents as a child who grew up hearing about the desire for him to be with Marcela to honor his parents best friends, for the good of the company, ect.

To receive his parents love he must do what his parents tell him, no exceptions. He must be the best at everything so he always aims high. In his proposal to be president he did exactly that.

Ironically Armando too is a people pleaser and feels like he has little to no control over his destiny.

So flings with Models become a form to cope. Though for a long time he enjoys those flings and what it entitles as it makes him feel good about himself, he is able to decide who he has a fling with but then it no longer is that.

My OC's addiction is driven by the desire of feeling wanted and needed. It boost her self-esteem though when it's over with she feels empty and hollow inside and we get a scene of Armando expressing those exact feelings to Mario the night he meets Ms. Colombia.

As they are leaving the cocktail Mario is upset that he[Armando] was leaving because he was so close to closing in on Ms. Colombia being his next conquest and that he couldn't change her for Marcela, who was always going to be there. Armando goes to explain something to him. He tells him that though at first he does get excited over the women and he does want to sleep with them that as soon as it's over he feels nothing anymore, that he doesn't enjoy it anymore.

This is part of a cycle and we see that.

Armando, before Betty, has the idea that if he falls in love it will be with a physically perfect woman who knows where she's standing and the only person that is like that is Marcela. He's got three reasons to marry her: He wanted her vote, his parents, and because she's what is mentioned above.

When Betty is introduce into his life she isn't what he expects in his dream woman. He expects perfection in a physical sense. However Betty has everything he wants in his dream woman in substance and personality.

He knows he likes Betty's personality but because she isn't physically perfect, he believes he isn't interested in her or attracted to her but because he likes her personality so much he believes he's entitled to her which is what drives his jealousy, it is not love.

Armando isn't in love with Betty here or at least not yet.

Betty embodies everything he wants and desires in a woman. She is humble, kind, respectful, unconditional, faithful, smart, like really smart and he likes that about her a lot, submissive and selfless.

However because the package isn't what he thinks is perfect, he cancels out. He denies that he likes her and he denies that he cares about her because of it.

So when Mario suggest for Armando to make Betty fall in love, Armando is apprehensive and disgusted by it.

Let's be honest, Betty isn't ugly! She's adorable! I will fight anyone who disagrees with this. Betty is cute and has always been cute.

I have spoken about Armando's emotional confusion a lot in the past few days but I haven't spoken about the mechanics of the confusion he is dealing with.

Denial is a strong defense mechanism. Subconsciously he has feelings for Betty and is attracted to her because of her personality but consciously he isn't. The mystery of the mind is never ending.

sub·con·scious /səbˈkänSHəs/

adjective of or concerning the part of the mind of which one is not fully aware but which influences one's actions and feelings. "my subconscious fear"

Armando's behavior towards finding out that Betty is in love has been dominated by his subconscious. However when it comes to facing those feelings he enters denial, therefore he cannot fathom the idea of ever being involved with someone so "ugly".

con·scious /ˈkän(t)SHəs/

adjective aware of and responding to one's surroundings; awake.

Armando is aware that Betty isn't his ideal of the type of women he is physically attracted to. He is aware the she isn't the standard of beauty.

Due to this he is refusing to listen to Mario.

Now that we understand this we can continue with the episode breakdown.

After Betty leaves, Armando is upset because Nicolas is the General Manager of Terra Moda(it feeds his paranoia talked about in the Betty, My Betty Part 3 post) .

Once again Armando and Mario switch roles. Armando is now aware of his conscious desires and he's sticking by them. Mario however is aware of Armando's subconscious desires.

Mario tries to level with him. He tells him that they can tell Betty to fire him but Armando rejects that by telling him that he does a good job and that Betty says he's important for Terra Moda, therefore Eco Moda, again this shows that Armando doesn't distrust of them in a professional sense. So they both agree that they shouldn't tell Betty to fire him. Mario first suggested that they reverse the seizure against Eco Moda and Armando goes on to reject that and explain why they can't do that. So Mario tells Armando that they need to think of something because it is a business deal involving them three; Armando, Himself, and Betty.

They agree that asking Betty to fire or take away so much responsibility from Nic could give way to Betty becoming hostile and resentful. Mario tells him that it would also be unfair since she's always been so unconditional with the both, Armando agrees.

We get to divides here. Two sides of the nickel.

Mario's priority and main concern is keeping Eco Moda and Armando as president for what it gives him.

Armando's priority is Betty's love life(Why else would he be so worried about her love life? A normal boss wouldn't care about your love life. Armando knows that Betty is a good and trustworthy employee and he said so himself).

Mario as always watched Armando carefully. The third and best option would have been to simply talk to Betty and be professionals and leave things alone and not doing anything about Betty's love life.

Mario tells Armando "Well the best option is to make Betty fall in love with you."

Armando goes on to say that he would never do that because he doesn't have the desire to and doesn't want to because Betty is ugly(this is why I said what I did above). Mario stops using the fear of losing Eco Moda and goes for the emotional because he knows that it will affect Armando's subconscious that will dominate him like it had been all day long.

"You're the perfect candidate because if it weren't for Nicolas showing up, I could have sworn she was in love with you. No, seriously, look at the way she looks at you, she's always been unconditional with you(he knows this is one of the qualities that Armando likes about Betty as he always lists it). My friend, if there's anyone that is capable of fighting against Nicolas Mora, it's the president of Eco Moda(here he is appealing to Armando's ego)."

What does Mario get out of all of this? Reputation in tact which allows him to continue living his best single life, which he said himself is his most prized possession. So it is important to him that Armando does whatever it takes to keep Betty from doing anything to get a husband(post Betty, My Betty! Part 3).

Fast forward Armando is in Marcela's apartment after the new collection launch and they're fighting because Armando let Betty into the event.

He not only defends his decision of inviting her as his guest but Betty's job and her role in the new collection. Marcela scoffs and they continue to argue.

What captured my attention though is that Armando tells Marcela that she can't be in a competing so absurd with a woman like Betty and shouldn't be in a feminine competition with her.

Armando is now go to the otherside of the room so we get his back as Marcela starts to speak ("You're wrong Armando I don't view her as a woman")and as she says "I am offended that you would think I feel she's a feminine competition-" Armando now looks at her confused.

Either he is confused because he doesn't understand what Marcela is trying to say or once again his subconscious is dominating him here.

The takeaway is that in Armando's mind Betty is a woman, ugly, but a woman nonetheless. He is confused as to why Marcela doesn't view her as a woman but still behaves the way she does.

We again get a classic scene of Betty writing in her diary as we hear her dialogue and get scenes of Armando in Marcela's bed.

We see Armando thinking about what Mario told him earlier that night.

When Mario told him that he would've sworm that Betty was in love with him[Armando] in that scene we didn't really get a reaction from him. He had a poke face but here, as he is thinking about it all he has a different look.

We stop getting a visual flashback, only an auditory one after Mario told him "I could've sworn she was in love with you." and the frame we're getting is Armando's face while laying in bed. He seems hopeful. The exact same expression he had when Betty told him that she didn't have anything with Nicolas.

We hear Mario's voice when he told him "If there's anyone who can fight Nicolas for Betty's love, it's the president of Eco Moda." Armando shifts in bed and covers his face. We then fade to Betty asleep on her bed and get another fade to Armando, this allows us to know that they are about to have another shared dream.

Armando is the mvp of this dream ss the camera focuses on him right away.

He seems happy in this dream as he runs around with Betty in a field with bright green grass and trees. He continues turns to look at Betty or allows Betty to lead him. Then in the dream Betty disappears and Armando is left alone, searching around him with a scared expression on his face until Betty finally appears in front of him. She nears him with her lips slightly puckered and Armando smiles and as well moves in closer until Betty runs away from him again.

The dreams shows us this two more times where Betty runs from him until the final time when Armando finds her and they near for a kiss we then get a real world Armando in bed shaking his head mumbling no, we can assume they are kissing in the dream.

This foretells what is to come. In Betty's eyes this is a good dream but we also know that due to her past Betty is afraid to love again which we're told this by her constant running away from Armando in the dream.

Armando's fear is brought to light in this dream that is of him losing Betty as it reoccurs more than once and each time he goes out to find her. There is times when he does want to kiss her but Betty pulls away and runs and then on the final one he becomes conscious in his dream(yes that happens, it's called lucid dreaming and sometimes it randomly happens).

The fact we kept getting fades from both Armando and Betty sleeping lets us know this was a dream simontainsly happening at the same time and it isn't until after they actually kiss that Armando's conscious starts to wake him up.

Marcela then finishes waking him up in the real world and asks Armando what he was dreaming, he tells her a horrible nightmare.

Again, Armando is aware that he doesn't find Betty to be his ideal perfect woman or the beauty standard. You know, she's "ugly" so having something physical even in a dream is a nightmare to him. The thing to take note of is that he was enjoying the beginning of that dream and it demonstrates his subconscious feelings.

We already Betty loved that dream.

The next morning Marcela mentions that if he doesn't talk about the dream he must secretly want it to come true.

His coping mechanism towards this entire situation has been denial. It protects him from having to face his true feelings and fears. It protects him from something he isn't ready to deal with yet.

He starts choking on his juice and coughing as Marcela watches him.

Marcela telling him this pushes him to face those fears of his, the fear that he does like Betty and that he does care about her more than just his employee however again, he is in denial therefore unable to understand this.

[You know I will write a post about how Aura Maria and Freddy are a parallel of Betty and Armando.]

Neither Betty or Armando talk about their dream to anyone, or at least the real content of said dream, which based on what Marcela insinuated, Armando secretly wants that dream to come true.

This is a fact because later on when Armando has that nightmare of Betty making out with Nicolas inside the new car they got, he tells Marcela about the nightmare or at least some distorted version of it, because he doesn't want that nightmare to come true. This time though he doesn't talk about it.

Betty clarifies the situation between Nicola and her roll in Terra Moda and Armando thanks her for it.

When she goes into her office Armando tells Mario that he's right about making Betty fall in love.

This next scene I already broke down in another post. Armando suggest Mario for the job because he knows that Mario would never fall in love with Betty but at least it would secure the company. However since Mario would never fall in love with Betty that would mean that he wouldn't have competition since you know these two pigs share everything.

Not only that but it would mean that he gets to avoid and deny his feelings without the worry of Nicolas and Betty ending up together and Nicolas turning her against him.

Armando tells Mario that he gets that it's the more logical thing that he[Armando] is the one to make Betty fall in love but that it's not morally correct.

He gets angry as he tells him that he can't do that to her, a woman who has been very special to him, too special towards him. Again this shows that Armando takes notice and likes that Betty treats him the way she does and because of that he doesn't want to hurt her and he knows that she doesn't deserve that.

However Mario then pulls the "your parents will be so disappointed and angry at you if you lose the company. So do you have to decide whether you'll be a rat to your parents or Betty."

As they discuss the sinister plan they solely based the problem in the physicality. As Armando even said himself the only bad thing about the plan was that Betty was ugly. If Betty wasn't ugly Armando wouldn't be afraid to face his feelings therefore be upfront about them.

However because she is it clashes with all his other traits. His ego, vanity, obsession with perfection and the fact he was unable to be in control over who he ends up falling in love with or liking.

I don't know what worse, Armando knowing how selfish the plan is against Betty and still going along with the it for the sake of the company and his unwillingness to admit to his parents that he was wrong or Mario knowing exactly what's going and how to manipulate Armando to do this and not caring about his best friends feelings and the guilt he will carry on as long as Armando remains president for his own greed.

In the next post I will breakdown the scene in which Armando drunkenly confesses somewhat his very confused feelings.

'Til next time :)

Ps. Sorry for all this typos! I'm an insomniac so I usually write these sleep deprived lol.

#armando mendoza #don armando #armando ysblf #beatriz pinzón solano #beatriz pinzon solano #betty la fea #betty ysblf #yo soy betty la fea #mario calderon #marcela valencia #betty pinzón solano

[tigerseye46]

Red Sand/Shark AU

So this is an au where Sha Wujing is the one who retired and Red is his successor.

I had a lot of amazing help from my anons and others for this au and I just want to thank them for that! You all made the au 100% more awesome! So here’s the au (re-uploaded cause it wouldn’t appear on my dash):

Sha Wujing: Sha Wujing takes Wukong’s place as the teacher and retired hero of this au and is the mentor of Red Son, albeit a reluctant mentor. Sha Wujing, unlike his canon counterpart, has not calmed down and is still rage-filled due to isolating himself for centuries. He has isolated himself due to Tripitaka’s death at the hands of a demon which he believes he, Bajie and Wukong could have prevented even though the other two were nowhere near at the time. He has a strained relationship with them because of this belief. Due to the monk’s death, he started picking fights in the mortal realm with any demon and sometimes human he could. The other three tried to stop him at multiple points but he wouldn’t listen and they had no choice but to give up. Eventually he came to the conclusion that this isn’t what Tripitaka would want and decided to pick one last fight to seal the Spider Queen before retiring.

He has rarely spoken to anyone else in centuries, he is extremely closed off to people. and has a lot of rage pent up. He lives on a mountain around the city that has a small house on his mountain and it has a river. He has the basics, oven, microwave, fridge, he also has a tv. Although he doesn’t use the television as much and considers it good background noise while he’s cooking or training. He absolutely despises it when any trace of his past adventures come onto the screen due to the events that have happened. He has a bunch of training equipment around that he uses to at least better manage his rage. He also builds inventions similar to his counterpart and it is something he and Red have in common. He does love tea and cats in this au but doesn’t own any cats in the beginning. He keeps a shrine of Tripitaka in his home and talks to it at certain points, he also has Tripitaka’s old staff.

Fun fact, he didn’t even want a successor and the only reason Red became his successor is because Guanyin appeared to him a couple years before the au and told him that trouble was brewing. She knows he gave up fighting so she proposes that he find a successor and she knows the perfect candidate, Red. After watching him for a bit, he agreed with her and waited for something to happen but wasn't exactly happy at the thought of having to train someone since it meant having prolonged social interaction, especially someone that almost killed his brother even if he isn’t Wukong’s biggest fan by that point. He is rather grumpy while training Red and they clash at certain points but they do have a respect for each other. He is more blunt and honest here.

Red: Red Son is the successor of Sha Wujing and formerly the disciple of Guanyin who after noticing how far he had come decided to let him go to the city to meet new people. He arrives at the city 2-5 years before the events of the au start and keeps a human form. While they still have somewhat of a temper, it is nowhere as bad as canon. They were initially confused by the city as due to being under Guanyin’s teaching, they weren’t as exposed to technology. It wasn’t until they met Mei who showed them the ropes that they finally got the hang of things. They build inventions like their counterpart but aren’t as skilled as canon Red since they’ve only been doing this for five years tops.

Mei actually gave her a place in the beginning since they didn’t have anywhere to go since they were still new. Red refused at first but gradually gave into Mei’s persistence. They were roommates for a while while the demon figured out where they could work. They noticed Mei’s struggle with her parents and encouraged her to be open about it, resulting in her becoming happier as a person and embracing her dragon heritage. Mei introduced them to Tang and got taken in by the human. Tang gave Red a place at his shop, although he works more at the cover business since he wants some sense of normalcy but he does do things like stock supplies for the magic side sometimes.

He hasn’t told anyone who his parents are nor has he found them again and prefers to keep a low profile. He also keeps the fact that he’s a demon a secret along with his fire powers. The fire powers only show up when he’s overcome with rage but since they aren’t as rage filled as their canon counterpart, that is rare. He isn’t exactly thrilled to be someone’s successor since it meant giving up his normal life but does it to further atone for his actions.

Mei/Long Xiaojiao: Xiaojiao remains here as the descendant of the Dragon of the West and is Red’s best friend. She found Red Son wandering the city one day and allowed him to stay with them until they found a place to work so Red has actually been inside her house before. Throughout his stay, she accidentally vented about her troubles with her parents which Red helped her with and because of that, she is less insecure about her place as descendant of the Dragon of the West. From that point forth, she was more open about her problems. She also obtained the dragon blade relatively early thanks to Red and her parents’ urging.

She, like Red, works for Tang but at his magic business and spends time being Tang’s assistant. Her job is to sometimes collect ingredients and deliver if the client asks. She is more reckless here due to having the dragon blade for years and because of the amount of demons she faced. She is slightly more protective here because of Red since she thinks he doesn’t know how to expertly fight as he hasn’t revealed who he is to her yet.

MK/Qi Xiaotian: Xiaotian is the biological son of Syntax and the only human of the Spider group. After the incident when he was around 12 that resulted in his dad becoming a spider, his life was completely changed and they were taken in by Huntsman and Goliath. Learning of their plan to free the Spider Queen, Syntax offered to help, knowing from Goliath that she would protect his son. They raised him where he turned into a mix of all of them. Since he is Syntax’s son, his father made sure he got the best education and taught him many things because of this, he knows a lot about tech and sometimes uses technology based insults like his dad, the other insults he uses are the more crass ones because of Huntsman. While he knows a lot about tech, he’s bad at practical applications and ends up setting things on fire.

They know how to hunt because of Huntsman and spar with him regularly in an effort to get strong to protect their family. Since they’re the only human, they feel the need to prove themself to the Spider Queen who doesn’t really give them a thought in the beginning as she’s more concerned with returning the spider demons to their former glory. The issue of him as the only human has caused somewhat of a disconnect between him and his father.

He is rather cocky and reckless here because of Huntsman and Syntax who both have massive egos, something that was passed down to him. Although deep down he is a sweetheart thanks to Goliath. He uses the tech insults to insult his rival, Red Son and makes fun of him on a daily basis which is great because Red only slightly knows what those mean. He is still an artist here and was encouraged by his father to pursue his passion, he is also still a slight Monkey King fan because of stories he heard when he was little. While he makes fun of Huntsman for wanting to date his dad, he does want to be able to call him his stepdad one day. He has a staff given to him by his dad when he was around 15 that contains some cool things.

Sun Wukong: takes Tang’s place kinda. Actor and scholar. Sun Wukong in this au is the owner of a theatre that for the most part does JTTW plays, he is also an actor and scholar. He spent about 300-400 years in retirement before finally deciding to enter the world again and do something. He has a rivalry with Macaque since both are scholars and always have academic arguments. He remains king of Flower Fruit Mountain but mainly lives in the city now. He maintains a human form to not attract attention from demons.

Before owning the theatre, he was a big name actor (well still is) that did mostly Monkey King related stuff to honor his past adventures and family. He even directed, starred and wrote stuff for his own movies and tv shows, something he does for the theatre now. He also produced some video games. He used to bring his monkeys on the set sometimes and does that now for his theatre, people have no idea where the monkeys come from. Some joke that he’s gotten really into his role and there are those that call him the “Monkey Actor.”

He carries a good amount of guilt over Tripitaka’s death especially after what Wujing said to him and believes he doesn’t really deserve to be called a hero. He also feels bad that he couldn’t help Wujing and that the incident resulted in the demon closing off. He hides all of this under a confident attitude. He hardly uses his staff anymore but still has it. He’s had off/on contact with Zhu Bajie over the years and misses him and the rest of his family deeply. When they meet up around the time the series starts, the pig informs him that he’s found Wujing but they don’t go talk to him since they know the other doesn’t want them around. Instead, the two hang out again with Wukong absolutely dreading the idea that they’ll lose contact again. Bajie actually introduces him to the kids he sometimes babysits and they eventually begin calling Wukong “yéyé.” He met Tang when he heard a rumor about his magic business and decided to check it out, he stuck around even after finding out the human was harmless because he met Red again, he hasn’t told Red or Tang who he is.

Tang: Tang is surprise, surprise, Tripitaka’s reincarnation. He does get dreams sometimes but he writes them off as fantasies. Compared to his counterpart, he is a lot tougher than his normal counterpart and actually fights. He runs two shops with one that is a secret magic shop (mostly temporary enhancements and minor spells), he’s proficient in both hand to hand combat and magic.

He is slightly more serious in this due to running a business now but not as serious as Pigsy would be. His nerdiness is toned down here but still present. In fact when Red is working, Tang likes to bring up different stories from the past despite the fact that Red knows them already. He gave Red the apartment above the shop and has no idea that the kid he adopted is actually a demon. He is rather annoyed and angry at the fact that Red was chosen by Sha Wujing to be his successor even though he is partially a fan of the demon and totally doesn’t have a celebrity crush on him. While he isn’t aware of everything Red has gone through, he is aware that the kid has had a rough life and wants to protect him.

Zhu Bajie/Pigsy: Zhu Bajie, after years of loneliness, came out of hiding and wandered the mortal world as he needed something to occupy his time. He’s had off/on contact with Wukong throughout the years. Eventually he settled into the city where he’s known as a beloved and involved member of a small part of it. He is seen as an ‘uncle/grandpa figure’ there and is sometimes asked to watch over the kids. The kids absolutely adore him and he in turn adores them. He takes them out a lot to places and spoils the heck out of them. He actually met Wukong again when he took the kids out to see the plays at Wukong’s theatre and enjoys taking them there because he gets to see the king, he’s become a huge fan. He memorized the surrounding mountain range there and partially chose the city as there is a path that leads to Wujing, he hasn’t told Wujing he’s tracked him down. He’s just kept tabs on him, mildly happy with that since he knows his brother doesn’t want to see him.

While he retains his snarkiness here, his temper isn’t as bad here due to not being business focused since he doesn’t own one. He retains his parental instincts here since he’s a grandpa now. He has grown a lot since the JTTW days and is proud of this fact. He is on the more reasonable side of things between Wujing who is unnecessarily angry and Wukong who believes he doesn’t have the right to be considered a hero.

Macaque: Macaque in this au is retired from fighting and does not have much of a grudge against Wukong as he does in canon. Although they do have a rivalry as fellow scholars and constantly complain about each other’s theses suck. They are usually one debate away from fighting each other in the parking lot of Wukong’s theatre.

Demon Bull King: Demon Bull King takes Macaque’s spot as the one who trains and plans to take Red’s powers. After their son became Guanyin’s disciple, the two were extremely worried about their child and held resentment for Sun Wukong and his gang that continued long after the gang defeated him. Princess Iron Fan and him had a falling out that resulted in them parting ways (although still married) but they still love each other very much. DBK heard rumors floating around about someone that had become Sha Wujing’s successor and that someone matched his son’s description. Angered over the fact that his son was forced to become someone’s successor, he found a spell that would take his powers. He crafted a plan to lure his son out to do so so his son could be relieved of that pressure along with protecting him and so he could use that power to take revenge on those around them.

Princess Iron Fan: Princess Iron Fan is the main villain of the Red Sand/Shark au. Due to the loss of her son and the fall out with her husband, Princess Iron Fan has become rather desperate to get her family back and she’ll do it by any means necessary. She has kept herself hidden for years, plotting ways to bring her family together. Once she found out that Red Son became Sha Wujing’s successor, it caused her to lash out as her son was within reach but forced to be what she considered a weapon, a pawn. She took advantage of the blood oath she made, promising the twins that if they joined her, she would make people cower before them. She used them to attack on New Years in the hopes of grabbing her son and taking over the world. While that might have failed, she has other tricks up her sleeve and will make Red join her, no matter what.

Spider Queen: Spider Queen once led a powerful army that threatened to disrupt the mortal realm. She was feared by mortals and respected and loved by her subjects. This ended when she faced Sha Wujing and was actually the last demon Sha Wujing fought before he retired. He decided to seal her, citing her as a danger. Due to her containment, the various spider clans started declining as their royal line had been deposed of. Things have become desperate and it is believed that the Spider Boys are part of the last generation before they are wiped out entirely, although there may be more out there. They have decided to free the Spider Queen as her era was the last time the spiders were prosperous and believe she is the key to saving their future.

Goliath (Strong Spider): Goliath remains a total sweetheart in this au and is one of the reasons Xiaotian contains sweet qualities. He is completely supportive and encouraging of Syntax and Huntsman’s feelings for each other and wishes they would just admit it. He bakes in his spare time and gets help from Xiaotian. He is also the other’s confidant and manages to keep secrets relatively well. He does suggest that they speak about these issues but doesn’t push them.

Huntsman: Huntsman is the same here but has a more fatherly side to him as he’s helped Syntax raise MK and has actually developed feelings for the nerd spider. He taught Xiaotian to be an excellent hunter and spars with him on a regular basis. He cheers the kid on during fights unless he has to do something like go save him for a reckless endeavor. He doesn’t admit how much the kid and the others mean to him often but will slip up and admit it. He and Syntax have snarky banter with each other and have a trusting relationship that neither acknowledges.

Syntax: Syntax is the biological and single father of Xiaotian. He was a relatively hardworking and great father that taught Xiaotian to make different things, gave him the best education he could and encouraged him in art endeavors. He was turned into a spider by a horrific lab accident when his son was around twelve. Resentment, horror and terror piled up in him because of that incident. He had absolutely no idea what to do, he was a human turned spider all because of what happened, there is a possibility that no one was going to treat him the same after this, people would assume he had malicious intent and might try to separate him from his son. After that, he spent a good portion trying to return himself back to normal but no matter what he did he could not. Afraid for the safety of him and his son, Syntax began to research the spiders, learning they were almost gone but there may be some out there. He took Xiaotian with him where they bumped into Huntsman and Goliath who were trying to find ways to bring the Spider Queen back. He joined them as Goliath had assured the queen would offer them protection. Along the way, he had come to see them less as allies and more as family, not that he would admit it. He began falling in love with Huntsman after getting to know him for years and seeing deeper sides of him. When Xiaotian was around 15, he crafted a sci fi tech staff for his son which contains some tricks and traps, including a GPS that can be used for when his son is in trouble.

Yin and Jin: Yin and Jin take Spider Queen’s place here. They trapped Red in the calabash just like they did with canon MK and after that incident, they continued popping up with a variety of plans, most that have failed. Red eventually stopped taking them seriously and treated them more as nuisances than real threats. In an effort to be taken more seriously they created a partnership between them and PIF. They shook with excitement at New Years when they began to topple people around them, this died down when the plan didn’t work but they continued to listen to PIF’s instructions, little do they know she’s just using them to get her son back.

White Bone Spirit and Mayor: These two are nowhere near as dangerous as they are in canon and actually replace Yin and Jin as the comic relief although the Mayor is still slightly creepy. WBS probably has a much older host or has shapeshifted to give herself a human form. She tries to get revenge for her defeat at the hands of Sun Wukong and since Red is the closest thing she messes with him instead. She believes she is a powerful antagonist but is more of the average shape-shifting demon and the Mayor serves as her minion. They come up with schemes similar to Yin and Jin but unlike Yin and Jin don’t ever come up with a way to be taken more seriously.

#lego monkie kid #monkie kid #red shark au #red sand au #red son #sha wujing #sun wukong #monkey king #zhu bajie #tang #mk #qi xiaotian #long xiaojiao #mei #princess iron fan #demon bull king #spider queen #goliath #lmk huntsman #huntsman #syntax #yin and jin #white bone spirit #lmk mayor #peachpigshipping #peachpig #jasmineteashipping #jasminetea #cyberhunt #cyberhuntshipping

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

Hi again! I come to you today with a question that may simply be a continuity error, but I'm still interested in your thoughts! In the main story, le Comte *knows* it was MC that came through the door behind him. Yet in Comte's "One Night, Beneath the Crescent Moon" POV story, he said he "...had no idea of what would happen next... That she would end up using the same door and end up stuck on the other side." What's your take on it? Thanks in advance! 💛

Hiya! First off I wanna apologize for how long it took to reply oTL I had originally drafted a response and then lost it when I accidentally closed the tab, and whenever that happens I always have to like sufficiently mourn the words I lost 😂😂😂

But to answer your question! If I’m entirely honest, I can’t remember what it was Comte said exactly in the Main Story in regards to her entering the door. There could be a lot of explanations for him saying he “knew”: continuity error, him wanting to put her at ease by seeming “in control” of the situation (while he’s screaming internally), or maybe even him wanting to cast some doubt as to whether or not he’s a person that can be trusted (aka the whole like “MC nooooooo don’t trust me I’m a vampire very bad very scary run away” kind of like Leonardo). 

All that being said, given the evidence we have and the stories I’ve read from his POV--esp that Crescent Moon one you referenced--I’m most inclined to believe that he had no idea she would follow him that day at the Louvre. If anything I really don’t think he ever anticipated any human person could follow him through the door? Because remember Sebastian (and the suitors for that matter) only manage because Comte is their escort. Sure their will to live on was strong enough that he could hear them, but they had no capacity to approach or find a door on their own as far as we currently know. The door was closed when MC found it; this suggests that Comte fully closed off that avenue to make sure nobody wayward stepped in by accident. He did the responsible thing and he left long before he could ascertain her safe journey through time, but she still managed to make it across somehow.

That’s why I think MC’s mere existence is earth-shattering to Comte. I mean we have all the good basics: a lovely lady, sweet and hard-working, means well and does her best. And these attributes all do matter, for sure. But the door is perhaps a greater catalyst in their romance than we might have first anticipated.

There will be some semi-hefty JPN rt spoilers below the cut for Dazai and Comte, so I’m just going to keep it under wraps just in case there are people who want to remained 100% unspoiled:

TW: Mentions of suicide in Dazai’s rt

The reason I say this is twofold, based on information provided by Dazai and Comte’s Main Story route. In Dazai’s route, remember that the focal point of the story is that Dazai wants to go back in time to kill himself as a baby so that he can never grow up to write his books or cause anyone pain in the near future--essentially, suicidal ideation to a frightening extreme. One of the main reasons that he fails (though MC plays a significant role in stopping him, too) is that Dazai’s will to kill himself is too weak. In simpler terms, this means that--no matter how much he insisted he wanted to die, the truth of his heart was revealed in his constant hesitating and difficulty going through with it. This is very often a reaction from people who need sizable psychological assistance to overcome trauma; they don’t usually want to die, it’s more that the pain of surviving their experiences is outweighing any possible joy they can find in living. 

But back to the most important part in bold. When Dazai asks about being able to use the door to travel through time, Charles confirms that it’s possible to travel without a pureblood escort. HOWEVER. This type of travel is very, very difficult unless you have an intense sense of willpower. I imagine the implication here is that you have to have an overwhelming desire and firmly believe it’s where you want to be in order for the travel attempt to succeed at all. (I don’t think the tethering point necessarily matters, but there is a suggestion that strong bonds between people--whether platonic or romantic--can serve as powerful guideposts when the door is distorted.) In other words, the reason Dazai relies on Charles’ moral bankruptcy is because Dazai knows he doesn’t feel strongly enough to go through with the suicide. He needs someone else who has the sheer determination and unbending will to see it through when the door opens. 

This is why Dazai is forced to ask Charles to accompany him, even though Charles doesn’t necessarily want to kill him. For Charles, this is less about a desperation to kill Dazai and more about his intense obsession-love for MC, and his willingness to do anything to receive her love/attention in return. In Charles’ view, since MC is ostensibly in love with Dazai, removing Dazai from the picture permanently is ideal. While Charles’ judgement is clouded and a little horrific, he is nonetheless rock steady in comparison to Dazai’s nonstop wavering. Dazai knows that he’s fickle on a personal level; one moment he wants to die, another he’s too afraid to let go of what he does care about or upset anyone. He’s at a point where he doesn’t know what’s right or true anymore and he’s floundering, which is honestly fairly common among those who share his lamentable condition. (Most people don’t have a death wish--it’s more a combination of circumstantial problems and healing that has remained in stasis that constitutes the extremity of that behavior.)

Moving right along, Comte’s route also features a similar testament to willpower, believe it or not. This happens in the last few chapters of the main story. Basically, Shakespeare dumps MC on Vlad’s doorstep and she’s more or less suffering the latter’s monologuing for a good while. Not long after that Comte appears and nearly shoots Vlad in the head, the bullet just grazing his cheek. Comte demands that he let MC go, and Vlad--in a classic sadistic act of compliance--wrenches open the door and just tosses MC into the freefall of distorted spacetime.

Now this is dangerous to MC’s life in and of itself, but there’s a key element there: distorted spacetime. In this main story the door never returns to its normal state after that first month period. Rather, the expanse of the door is too dangerous to be traveled even by a pureblood, let alone a human being. The chances MC will ever be able to escape in order to survive are closer to zero than any other number. Remember that Comte is immortal. If he gets stuck on his own, he can’t die and the damage to his body is always more than able to heal when he’s back to safety. (He even warns Leonardo in Leo’s MS that the danger of getting stuck in some kind of pocket in spacetime is still too significant to be ignored, though I can’t be sure if that’s due to Leonardo’s inexperience with time travel/requirement for an escort, or just an inevitable risk you juggle anytime you travel through the door.)

Of course Comte leaps in after her to try to save her, but presumably their entry point is long gone now (Vlad shut the door), so they’re just kind of floating in amorphous time. They do and don’t exist. Comte is understandably distraught because MC’s life hangs in the balance; if they don’t find a way out, she is almost certainly going to die. Comte admits that--while he hates the fact that his very existence is a danger to her, he still doesn’t regret finding her by any extension. MC protests, naturally, that there’s nothing to regret. Circumstances be what they may, she loves him. 

Now, here is the key. While Comte is trying to think of a way out, MC is thinking hard about wanting to return to the mansion. Her mind reflects an acute, intense desire to return home to the place where they both belong. And wouldn’t you know it? They both suddenly tumble out of the door in the mansion and onto the carpeted floor, whole and alive, sputtering in disbelief. Comte is baffled at first but it can only give way to immense relief that she’s safe, and he just immediately breaks down.

The only reason the two make it out unscathed is because of--I can only assume--MC’s overwhelming will to live on with Comte and return to the mansion. While it would have been natural for her to be overcome by fear to the point where she could make no productive decision, or even humor the concept of focusing on their home, she does it all the same with immediate success. That’s also part of why I think Comte just 100% caves into both of their feelings in the next chapter. He saw firsthand that, not only does MC keep a level head under duress, but she also has the overpowering will necessary to survive amongst vampires. And it was perhaps this unshakeable will in the first place that landed her in the late 19th century all those weeks ago.

It’s interesting because, honestly? Her entry through the door is more or less a hinge point for their romance. While it obviously isn’t the only reason he cares about her, it definitely is one of the bigger reasons he even feels safe enough to court her in earnest in the aftermath. It is literally only after this event that he confesses everything. Why he created the mansion and the men. How he’s really felt about her and himself all this time. What Vlad showed her and the implications of Vlad’s existence. And finally the truth about what he wants. He wants a relationship with her, but he keeps being held back by the fear that he’s too much. That the demand of being by his side will outweigh any happiness she might find choosing him. (Granted MC and I find that preposterous given how attentive and considerate he is, but you know). But after seeing her pull off surviving Vlad and traveling through the door by her own willpower again? I think it sufficiently lessens his doubts as to whether she could handle a future with him. It gives him the courage to just ask her: Do you want a future with me? Can you handle the demands of a vampire that cannot accept a mere human lifetime to be in love? 

And so this is why I have unceasing Comte brainworms ladies and gentlethem. I need to go lie down before I start crying again, I love him oTL

#asks #ikevamp #ikemen vampire #ikevamp comte #ikevamp saint germain #ikevamp meta #fangdad propaganda #ikevamp dazai #ikevamp leonardo #ikevamp vlad #ikevamp jpn rt spoilers #i hope this makes sense/was helpful! #you're always welcome <3333 #man i need a snack but comte isnt here so whats the point #*long dramatic sigh* #AND WUV. TWUUUUUU WUV......WILL FOWOW U FOWEVAAAAAAAAA..... #AND MAWWIAGE......THAT BWESSED A W A N G E M E N T......THAT DWEAM W I F I N. A DWEAM. #SO CHEWISH YO WUV #i have exactly one brain cell and all it does is rattle for comte 25/8 #god idk how im going to wait for his wedding event in ENG oTL #i am tender #not incorrect quotes #rambles

[zeldahime]

r/Relationship_Advice

this is my gift to @omgpurplefattie​ for the Eat Rocks,Troll! Xiyao exchange! The ao3 link will be in the first reblog, and a transcript can be found under the readmore!

r/Relationship_Advice

Trying to Make Sworn Brotherhood Work - posted by u/throwRAthirdbrother

This is an unusual situation, but I really want to make this work.

Me (20M), my close friend Blue (20M), and his friend & my former boss Green (22M) swore ourselves to each other in a sacred ceremony to bring our families closer together. I went into this hoping that it would bring the three of us closer together too -- Green and I had a bit of a spat about two years ago, and he still harbors resentment from the incident. 

Green still sometimes treats me like I'm his employee, while also expecting me to be able to reverse my father's decisions. My relationship with my father is complex and I won't get into it, but suffice to say Green should know I have no influence over what he or his company does. Regardless, it's best to appease him. Green has a disorder that makes emotional regulation difficult; even with his medication, he is prone to fits of rage or paranoia, which often cast me as the "bad guy." I know that based on just this information, many of you will tell me to dump him; that is not an option I want to pursue at the moment. I want to explore every option to overcome our problems, not dispose of them.

This situation is putting pressure on my relationship with Blue as well -- he's a wonderful, kind, generous man who I admire greatly, and I don't wish for all our time together to be spent talking about Green. Currently, he is teaching me the qin, and how to play the song Green's psychiatrist has recommended playing to help calm him; it is going well, and I wish to continue these lessons once I have learned the song. However -- we're both very busy, and have limited time together. I'm afraid that when all our interactions revolve around Green, I am not as able to savor it as much as I would like. 

I seek advice about how to better manage Green, so that his fits do not escalate, and to repair our relationship. I truly do want to come to a better place with him, where we can interact on a more even footing; in the meantime, I need to remain safe. If anyone has been in a similar situation, I welcome your guidance especially. 

Thank you very much in advance.

Replies: u/AnOriginalCharacter: okay question: are you married to them? it sounds like you're married to them. anyway. you should probably divorce green. 

u/TheManWithTheFan: SAN-GE! dont worry i wont tell da-ge ;) but hes being a big jerk about the whole xue yang thing & probably give him a day or two to calm down before you come back to our house? anyway. hed be a lot calmer if you just kissed him i think. ill give him some books to explain his Big Emotions (in his heart, and other places). and dont worry about er-ge! hes definitely going to keep giving you.... "private lessons" wink wink

u/throwRAthirdbrother: Don't you dare.

u/TheManWithTheFan: ;) ;) ;)

u/throwRAthirdbrother: You already gave him the books, didn't you.

u/JiangYanli: This is certainly a complicated situation! DH's brother is going through something similar. I think a good first step would be to sit down with Green and have a conversation about the incident from two years ago -- and crucially, to apologize for whatever parts of it caused the most hurt. I know that is the hardest part, but it also needs to happen in order for your relationship to begin to heal. I also hope that you know that your friends and family are there to support you -- don't hesitate to reach out to them! I would be honored if my BIL trusted me enough to ask for my help, and I am sure there are people in your life for whom this is true as well. Best wishes, Yanli.

u/throwRAthirdbrother: Thank you for your advice. I am sure your brother-in-law appreciates your kindness. ^_^

u/Xiyao_troll:  YTA for letting a toxic relationship go on for so long. You should break up with both of them before everything inevitably collapses, move away, and never talk to either of them again so that they can both move on. Maybe marry a nice girl who isn't your half sister.

u/yiling-laozu: wrong sub, fuck off

u/AnOriginalCharacter: woah dude harsh??? just because him and green don't get along doesn't mean he needs to burn everything to the ground smdh. & what are you talking about with the sister thing? he literally did not mention any girls at all?

u/yiling-laozu: oh shit dude! i'm going through the same thing kind of, like the guy i'm in love with hates my guts, so anyway i solved this issue by moving to the outskirts of a village in the middle of nowhere and not answering my phone for five months. it's kind of miserable to eat nothing but top ramen while we wait for our vegetable harvest but you know what, it's better than seeing him every day knowing he hates me? i don't recommend it but i don't not recommend it ykwim

u/throwRAthirdbrother: Our situations are not the same at all.

#omgpurplefattie #eat rocks troll #xiyao #3zun #the venerated triad #jin guangyao #meng yao #jgy #my writing #cql #the untamed #mo dao zu shi #mdzs

[douchebagbrainwaves]

MAKER'S SCHEDULE, 631, BRIEFLY

I'm a writer, and writers always get disproportionate attention. How did they stand it? Their main expenses are setting up the company, which costs a couple thousand Altair owners, but without this software they were programming in machine language. Those ideas are so rare that you can't find some way to reach me, how are you going to create a successful company? For a startup, managing them is one of the first 10 employees you'll have almost as much.1 Families are entitled to their own traditions, and who the competitors are and why this company is going to beat them.2 In the late 90s my professor friends used to complain that they couldn't get grad students, because all the undergrads were going to let hosts rent out space on their floors during conventions. Part of the reason I can't believe it will be more like being able to play the two firms off each other as well as talent, so this answer works out to be important, because a we invest such small amounts, and b we think it's better if startups operate out of their own premises, however crappy, than the offices of their investors.

If you're a freelancer or a small company doesn't ensure freedom.3 What makes a good startup idea, it's sort of like having a guilty conscience about something.4 There's an idea that has turned out to be a startup. For a lot of work.5 Which is exactly how I'd describe the way lions seem in the wild seem about ten times more alive. You probably can't overcome anything so pervasive as the model of work is a job. Don't sit on their boards. What really bothers parents about their teenage kids having sex are complex.6 It's not so much as that they never pander: they never say or do something because that's what the audience wants. So if you're going to optimize a number, the one to choose is your growth rate to compensate. In social settings, I found that I got over 100 other responses listing the surprises they encountered. If you don't understand YC.

At the time any random autobiographical novel by a recent college grad could count on more respectful treatment from the literary establishment. The angel now owns 200/1200 shares, or a job. The kind of question on the application form that asks what you're going to clear these lies out of your head, you're going to clear these lies out of your head, you're going to do, at least, nothing good.7 I often recommend that founders act like consultants—that they wanted to.8 In a startup, you don't even know that.9 If these guys had thought they were starting companies, they might have been.10 Viaweb entirely with angel money; it never occurred to us that investors were too conservative here—that they do what they'd do if they'd been in Nebraska, like Evan Williams was at their age? The saddest windows close when other people die.

And when you propagate that constraint, the result is that each species thrives in groups of a certain group, that seems nearly impossible to shake. Someone who's figured that out will automatically focus more on the idea. The only explanation is: by definition. It's not just a figure of speech to say that the outcome is zero. The artists who benefited most from this were the ones who had preserved a child's confidence, like Klee and Calder. Once you have all the college students, you get rich is that there are many degrees of it. It could be replaced on any of these axes it has already started to be on most. When you're a little kid and you're asked to do something differently.

But not all waste is bad. Later I learned it hadn't been so neat, and the three founders each get 25%. Along with such outright lies, there must have been told a lot of economic history, and I understand the startup world is evolving away from their current model.11 If you seem really good we'll accept you anyway. Even in the rare cases where a clever hack makes your fortune, you probably have an idea.12 At least, that's how we'd describe it in present-day languages, if they'd had them. The way you get taught programming in college would be like teaching writing as grammar, without mentioning that its purpose is to make me feel better. After two years, the un-rapacious that you only extract half as much from users as you could. If you have something that no competitor does and that some subset of users urgently need, you have to seem like you understand technology.13 On that scale, every negotiation is unique.14 I was cynical about VCs, but the way he composed them into molecules was near faultless.15 But unfortunately when you graduate, as long as you want.16

Notes

Thanks to Daniel Sobral for pointing this out. Make it clear when you ad lib you end up reproducing some of the things they've tried on the LL1 mailing list. What you learn in college or what grades you got in them, initially, to sell earlier than you expect. But while this is also a name.

In fact most of them. But try this experiment is that if you conflate them you're aiming at. The worst explosions happen when unpromising-seeming startups do badly.

Y Combinator certainly never asks what classes you took in college. This approach has not worked well, but this would work better, and that modern corporate executives were, we try to accept a particular number.

Aristotle the core: the editor in Lisp, they may try to accept that investors are induced by the surface similarities. Com of their assets; and with that additional constraint, you can't help associating it with such a statement would merely be eccentric.

Most word problems in school math textbooks are bad: Webpig, Webdog, Webfat, Webzit, Webfug. Without the prospect of publication, the assembly line, the closest anyone has come is Secretary of Labor Statistics, about 28%.

I think the usual way to fight. The next time you raise as you can see the apples, they made much of it, and no one who's had the discipline to pull it off. Successful founders are driven by people trying to decide whether to go to college, they would implement it and make a lot of investors caring either.

P nonspam are both genuinely formidable, and the exercise of stock options than any preceding president, he was otherwise unoccupied, to get into the heads of would-be startup founders who had been a good idea to make more money. The best thing for startups is very long: it might take an hour over the Internet, like hedge funds, are available only to buy corporate bonds to market faster; the Reagan administration's comparatively sympathetic attitude toward takeovers; the crowds of shoppers drifting through this huge mall reminded George Romero of zombies. That it might take an hour over the Internet. Yes, I had zero effect on the relative weights?

The VCs recapitalize the company, and yet managed to screw up twice at the data, it's probably good grazing. I should add that we're not. They did turn out to be a win to include things in shows that people start to pull ahead in the field.

Galbraith was clearly puzzled that corporate executives would work so hard to mentally deal with the founders gained from running through their initial attitude. Sparse Binary Polynomial Hash Message Filtering and The Old Way. One thing that drives most people emerge from the moment it's created indeed, from hour to hour that the worm might have done all they could be overcome by changing the shape of the bizarre consequences of this: You may not be far less demand for them.

Indiana University Bloomington 1868-1970.

Trevor Blackwell points out that taking time to come up with an associate cold-emailing a startup could grow big in revenues without including the order of 10,000, because investors already owned more than their competitors, who may have realized this, but simply because he was skeptical about Viaweb too. See Greenspun's Tenth Rule. We just store the data, it's software that doesn't seem to want them; you have significant expenses other than salaries that you decide the price, and for filters it's textual.

P 500 CEOs in the sophomore year. It was only because he had more fun than he'd had in school, and philosophy the imprecise half. The philistines have now missed the video boat entirely.

As we walked out we ran into Yuri Sagalov. Emmett Shear writes: I'd argue the long tail for sports may be common in, you'll have to replace you. It took a painfully long time.

The reason Y Combinator.

This is an instance of a safe will be coordinating efforts among partners. In practice it just feels like a loser they're done, she doesn't like getting attention in the definition of property.

The thing to do sales yourself initially. 5%. At first I didn't care about GPAs.

Thanks to Paul Buchheit, Gary Sabot, Trevor Blackwell, Tiffani Ashley Bell, and Jeff Arnold for sharing their expertise on this topic.

#automatically generated text #Markov chains #Paul Graham #Python #Patrick Mooney #job #Thanks #mailing #assets #talent #field #way #effect #filters #expenses #sort #explosions #Yuri #lot #school #guys #premises #Blackwell #word #languages #language #feels #competitors #Internet

[annoyed-galaxy]

One Moment at Sea

Welp no shame. This is pretty old, but some nice bonding moment between Sparrow and Reaver cause why not. Posted this on AO3 so feel free to read it over there as well but I'll also post it here cause why not.

What was she doing here honestly? Out on the seas in Reaver’s stupid prototype ship. No sails, it only ran off of steam produced by coal that would turn some device propelling the ship forward. Honestly though, this could barely pass as a ship. It was barely bigger than a fishing boat. Sparrow guessed it made sense since Reaver had never tried this out before and there was no point in spending a lot of money on something that wasn’t going to work. So far, it was doing pretty good.

Sparrow was actually impressed. She didn’t take Reaver to be an inventor. But knowing him, he probably stole some of these ideas from someone else and just had the money to actually make it. Sparrow kind of didn’t care. It was pretty peaceful. She stood at the front of the boat, leaning against the railing watching the water part in front of her. There was no land around them, just the open sea. It did make her slightly nervous to be around so much water with no land.

Still, it was the most peace she had gotten ever since...well since she was born. It was kind of sad that this was the only time she had ever experienced peace within her life.

“Enjoying the view?” a voice came from behind her.

Well. Peace ruined.

Sparrow looked over her shoulder at Reaver who was wiping soot off his face. “What were you doing?” she asked.

“Oh well, turns out the coal will run out. So unfortunately I had to shovel more into the engine. Now I’m all dirty,” Reaver complained looking down at his clothes.

Sparrow rolled her eyes and motioned to the open water around them. “You have an endless source of water to clean your clothes,” she snorted.

“Ha ha, very funny,” Reaver rolled his eyes. He joined her at the front of the boat and leaned against the railing. His arm brushed against hers, but she didn’t move.

“Please tell me this thing will get us back to Albion,” Sparrow clucked looking around. “We got this far and there is no longer any sort of land in sight.”

Reaver chuckled. “Of course it will get us back. I calculated how much coal we would need to power this lovely thing and got a little extra. Besides, due to its size, it’s not going to consume much.”

“Yeah about that,” Sparrow started. She pointed behind her to where the wheel was. It was on a deck above what she had assumed was the one and only quarter on this floating hell. There was also a small trapdoor that led to the “engine”. “Why is there only one quarter?” she asked.

Reaver smirked and raised an eyebrow. “Well, to save on space obviously,” he drawled. “Besides, you don’t mind sharing a bed with me anymore do you?”

A blush spread across Sparrow’s face. They hadn’t engaged in any sexual activity, but they had slept in the same bedroll when traveling on the road when it was too cold one night. She had hated that night. Reaver had no problem snuggling up to her, but she was annoyed. Mainly annoyed because she had liked it when he held her. Liked it when had nuzzled his face into her neck. Ever since, they had shared a bed only twice due to similar reasons. Or when there was only one inn room left and it was too small for him to sleep on the floor. She had really hated being in the same bed as him because when he had held her, she didn’t push him away.

A thumb stroking her cheek pulled her out of her thoughts. She blinked a couple times and saw Reaver looking at her with a smile on his face. She frowned, but did not slap his hand away. “Can I help you?” she muttered.

Reaver didn’t say anything, he just moved in closer and brought his other arm around her back. He pulled her into him. Sparrow’s blush deepened and she froze. Part of her screamed to push him away and off overboard, but another part wanted to lean into him.

“Has anyone ever told you you are beautiful?” Reaver said suddenly, his eyes scanning her face. Sparrow had never realized how blue his eyes were before.

“Only when they were trying to get in my good graces or just wanted to throw a random compliment at me,” she grumbled.

“No one has told you sincerely?” he asked, tilting his head to the side. The hand on her cheek moved to her chin.

“N-no,” Sparrow stammered really hating how she liked him now caressing her lips.

“Well, I think despite everything you’ve been through, you are still absolutely gorgeous,” he whispered. “Stunningly breathtaking. I have never met someone as interesting as you Sparrow. You intrigue me so much that I don’t want to let you go.”

“Is that why you kept me around trying to keep me alive?” Sparrow breathed, her breath almost hitching as Reaver leaned in closer.

“Yes,” he replied plainly. “I don’t want to lose my source of entertainment.” He smirked as he said that. Sparrow had half the mind the punch him, but she was still frozen. He was so close their breaths mingled. “I find it interesting how you claim to hate me, yet I have gotten this close and you haven’t punched me or pushed me away,” Reaver chuckled. It seems he had noticed that she was paralyzed and how she liked being held by him.

“What’s the point of fighting you?” Sparrow murmured, looking away. She put her hands on his chest, but she didn’t push.

“So what would you do if I kissed you?” he whispered, gripping her chin with his thumb and forefinger and forcing her to look back at him. She was one hundred percent positive that her entire face was red, even the blue Will lines that traveled across her skin could be red with how much she was burning up.

Again, part of her screamed no, but another part of her really did want him to kiss her. He had kissed her only once and that was right after the balverines had attacked her. But that had been just a small peck on the lips that lasted only a couple seconds. It was right before he offered his proposition to her. It had been a crazy year since then, but now she was on the open sea, in his arms with him literally just centimeters away from her lips asking what she would do if he kissed her.

She looked at his eyes but they were on her lips. Only when he realized she was looking at him did he look up. Sparrow had never really looked into his eyes before. They matched the ocean around them.

Her lips parted just slightly and Reaver took notice as his eyes darted back to her lips.

He took it as an invitation.

Sparrow was overcome with so many emotions when Reaver had finally closed the gap and put his lips on hers. Sparrow closed her eyes and hated how her hands moved from his chest to the back of his neck pulling him closer to her. Reaver took that as another invitation and his tongue broke through her lips. Sparrow was lost in bliss as their tongues danced together. Reaver’s arms moved right above her bottom and he pulled her closer. Their bodies were now touching and their mouths were ravishing each other. Sparrow hated how much she loved this.

Reaver had pulled away from the kiss, but he went to her neck immediately with kisses. They had turned so that Sparrow’s back was against the railing. She tilted her head back as Reaver left delicate kisses on her neck. Then her body lit up when he dragged his tongue from the bottom of her neck to her chin. Her breathed hitched and she really hated how it did.

“I didn’t think you’d allow this, Sparrow,” Reaver breathed, his mouth by her ear now.

Sparrow groaned. “Shut up.”

Reaver chuckled, but went back to placing kisses on her throat. As he was kissing her, his hands traveled down her back and cupped her bottom. She had gasped when he pulled her against him, but by some weird instinct, she wrapped her legs around him. Reaver chuckled and pulled away from her neck just to kiss her again. Sparrow’s fingers dug into his hair, messing it up, as their kiss became more and more fiery.

She hated this so much. Hated how much she loved it. Hated the taste of him. Hated how she felt in his harms. She hated everything about this, but that’s what made it better. They broke apart and were panting. Sparrow’s hands moved to Reaver’s cheeks and she just looked at him. She hated how she was falling for such a selfish asshole.

“Tell me one thing Reaver,” she whispered, caressing the heart mole on his cheek, “did you ever care about anyone before? And I mean at all.”

Reaver raised an eyebrow. “Why do you ask?”

“Because the way I see it, there was someone you used to love,” Sparrow whispered. “And you lost them. And to make yourself never feel that pain ever again, you isolated yourself and pushed anyone who got too close away...or well just made sure no one ever got that close.”

Reaver’s mouth parted slightly and Sparrow could see genuine surprise on his face. “W-what makes you say that?” he stammered. Odd. Reaver never stumbled on his words.

Sparrow smiled and slid her thumb across his lower lip. “I found some old journals of yours. I couldn’t read them but I paid someone to read them for me. Don’t worry, I managed to erase their memory so only I know your secrets Reaver.” Sparrow’s smile widened as Reaver’s eyes went wide with shock and disbelief. “You don’t have to say anything. I’ve come to realize that you and I are not so different. We lost people close to us and went about that loss in very different ways. You didn’t want to die so you made a deal to live forever. I wanted vengeance but when I found it and lost my purpose, I didn’t want to live anymore. Somehow, I just think that makes us work well together. You don’t have to call it love cause I know you’d claim to be above such feeling, but I just think this was meant to be. At least for a time.”

The entire time she spoke, her thumb ran across Reaver’s lip and her other hand played with a strand of his hair. “Now would be the time to dump me in the ocean and leave,” Sparrow added, her tone suddenly becoming darker. “Or do you sincerely want to keep me?”

Reaver was too stunned to really say anything. Sparrow managed to say things that resurfaced old dark feelings he had refused to acknowledge ever again. She read him like an open book. It made him...nervous. But she was right. He hated to admit it, but he was actually caring for her, beyond her entertainment value. He loved seeing her yell at him, loved seeing her get feisty when people refused to back down, loved seeing her fight. Most of all, he loved it when she kissed him back. When she doesn’t push him away. They were no strangers to giving themselves away to other men and women, but he didn’t think they had ever felt so right in each other’s arms.

He knew he should stop. If he opened his heart again, he knew it would break. Sparrow already gave her life away for him. It wouldn’t be long before she started to wither away. After all, when he saw her on the beach a year later after she made the sacrifice, her hair had turned almost completely white. He knew he shouldn’t let her in, but he couldn’t stop himself. She was too intriguing for him. If he could just ignore the fact that she’d be gone in a few years, everything would be alright.

“Sparrow,” Reaver finally spoke up. “I will never let you go because you are mine. And I don’t like losing what’s mine,” he declared. It was the closest thing Sparrow would ever get to some sort of declaration of love from him, but for some reason, she liked this much better.

She smiled. “Then don’t let me go. Keep me here in this world for just a little while longer.” For once ever since defeating Lucien, she felt at peace, happy. She moved to kiss him and he met her halfway. The loss of Rose would forever haunt her, but she now knew she wasn’t alone anymore. She would stay as long as Reaver kept her here. However, she knew to keep her heart guarded. There was no telling whether or not Reaver would stay true to his word or cast her aside.

But she let herself believe that maybe he would keep her for as long as she lived. When they shared the bed this time, Sparrow let herself cuddle close to Reaver. It was going to be a rocky road from here on out, but she didn’t care. It gave her a new purpose.

#spreaver #sparrow x reaver #fable 2 #fable sparrow #fable reaver #writing #G-W76

[cosmiclatte28]

6 Shots of Coffee (Jaemin x you + Dreamies)

a/n: I am back! With a sudden wild oneshot. Please be aware that this is purely fan-fiction. Anything happening here is mere pure imagination. I did not intend to connect any disorders with the idols in real life.

Warning : characters with disorders, a lot of dozing off characters, character with slight adhd (i tried my best to picture them correctly but I’m sorry if everything is wrong, i only did a short research). Mentions of orphanage, drunk parents, and a broken family. HAPPY ENDING! 

CHARACTERS : dream (minus Hyuck and Mark), Taeyong, and Yuta also our brave (y/n)! 

here we go, 

If there are three things in life you hate, that will be Jaemin, Jaemin, and oh god another team assignment with Jaemin!

Jaemin has been the most excruciating classmate you ever have! Not only did he tease you about your freakin need of keeping things in their proper place and keeping things spotless, but he also keeps using you to help him pass his classes. Yet no teacher minds your complain, and all the school girls think you're a freak for being mad about sharing a group project with the handsome guy.

No you’re not sick or weird. You just love organizing things and you like clean things a bit too much. Why? Coz you've had some bad memories with dirty things. Okay Jaemin is just another naughty kid in your class who likes to play and have fun with others, but you certainly did not find his jokes funny.

“Come on calm down (y/n)! It's only coffee, we can clean that.” Jaemin tries to laugh it off despite seeing you standing completely frozen in front of him with an empty cup and you with a  brown uniform. Although you clearly see there is a slight worry in his eyes.

You hold yourself back. How come the worst day has to become worse?! You woke up to period cramps, you forgot a homework thanks to late night distracted room cleaning, and as you were about to rush to type your homework in the library, Jaemin decided to meddle and spill his coffee on your white uniform.

A part of you want to scream and yell and pull his hair apart, but you're too tired to talk with Jaemin. Let alone think about Jaemin, there's just so many things you hate related to Jaemin.

Despite him trying his best to apologize and to help you wash your clothes, which is something new… Jaemin never cared if he messed up with you. You ended up slapping his hand away when he wants to drag you to the office to ask a spare uniform.

“Go away! I have to rush,” you push him aside with your shoulder and run to the library. Knowing so well you'll probably get another minus score and a weird look from the library thanks to your stained uniform.

You hate the feeling of sitting down with this coffee stained shirt, and as much as you want to open that shirt and change into something else, you don’t have the energy. So, after sitting down on the table with the library's laptop you stare into the keyboard only to focus more on your uniform and the least wanted thing happens.

You cry. You cry by yourself in the corner of the room and you don’t really mind the stare they give. You just want to end life here, can anyone just stab you? Or can the ground split and swallow you?

There’s another thing you hate other than Jaemin meddling with your ugly life. It's dirt and unorganized objects. Why? Well you were once a very regular kid, always playing in the rain mud and all kinds of sand. You don’t mind having dirt all over your body you know when you go home you can shower. That's until you grow up and notice how your family is different. Your parents look like they are okay, but every night you hear them argue and argue. The argument gets stronger and scarier, they shout, scream, throw things down and you were always awaken to the no longer comfy homey house. You realize one day you woke up to seeing your dad getting drunk, your mother depressed, and the house super dirty like a tornado just hold a party. It’s awful to wake up to the smell of cigar and alcohols instead of bacons and eggs. You had to keep one plate with you or else it will end up like its friends, lifeless, prickly, sharp, on the ground.

Your maid stopped working, you're moved to a new school, this middle school where you meet Jaemin and some other annoying problematic students. Your once colorful life turned dark and gloomy. No longer you woke up to morning kiss and breakfast. You find yourself sitting alone in the dining room, preparing your own sandwich from some cheap dry bread. No more nutella and you're grateful for butter.

You tried to understand, keeping all to yourself as you grow up and noticed your family is broken. You thought everything will get better, one day mom and dad will love each other again and you'll be back with the bright family you love.

Life is not that kind. Life is cruel, on your 14th birthday your dad left for another woman and your mother dropped you off to an orphanage. She said she can no longer pay for your school and living fees. Heck she even had to borrow money to buy you your monthly pads.

The cheerful friendly you turned 180° into a mournful secretive teenager. You hate everyone who looks bright and you hate every single dirt. Seeing unorganized things and dirty objects just remind you of the dark memories you want to forget.

The orphanage found your smart talent and you got a scholarship making you still able to attend the school. The orphanage you live in has a rule where there is a schedule for cleaning up and preparing dish. You meet a similar boy who has the same problem with you; just that he looks like he had overcome his bitterness and chooses to live a happy life. Which you deadly want to do but cannot.

Renjun, is the only person you talk to in that house. The adults taking care over you, still cannot make you talk comfortably with him and you're not planning to do any sooner.

“Hey, it's me. Should we make a letter to the office and go home?” Renjun's soft voice comes to your ear and you look up to him with blood red eyes.

“How long have I been crying?” you sniffle.

He shrugs his shoulder “I just came an hour ago when I noticed you're missing Chemistry class and Jaemin too. I thought he was with you.”

You scowl “Why would I be with Jaemin?”

Renjun scratches his head “I don’t know… you were always assigned a team with him… I thought both of you are rushing a task.”

“I am having a bad day.” You exhale.

Renjun shakes his head “That is more than a bad day. Here, put this on that coffee is hot or cold?” he gives you his school blazer and you gladly put it over your stained uniform.

You sigh, of course Renjun noticed. He is also like you, despise any single speck of dust.

“Jaemin spilled his cold coffee on me. Now I am late to submit my work, I'll never get the essay done and I am skipping classes. GREAT! Looks like I will be kicked out of school next week.”

Renjun shakes his head again “Silly, you're dramatic. They won’t kick you just because of that. What about your achievements?”

You scoff “They can always find another better painter. I could barely tell difference in colors.”

Renjun smiles well that’s what makes you different. The school honors your brilliant talent of drawing although you have a hard time distinguishing colors. But your emotions are well delivered on every picture you paint. That gives honor to the school when the art teacher secretly sent your works to different curators and exhibitions.

“Come, we will go home. I'll make your letter. Can you wait for me in the lobby by yourself?” Renjun smooths your hair away.

You shake your head and clearly looks afraid “Can I join you?”

He nods and lets you go with him, blaming himself for ever offering you that option.

You got home, Renjun fixes your mood by giving you new clothes. Yes, as simple as that, and you’re already less scarier than before. He makes you tea when he saw the circled date on the calendar and drops you some pain killers.

“It's that month, sorry for not noticing had I known, I'd bring you home when I heard Jaemin looking for you around the school.”

You pause from cutting the potatoes, well you need to start cooking dinner for the others. “Jaemin looked around for me?”

Renjun nods “Uh huh that's also how I know something is not right. Jaemin never looked for you except when he needs your score.”

You curl your lips “Weird. He also wanted to bring me to the office, which he never did before.”

Your sudden emotional change is a regular thing to Renjun. Although at first he has to bear with your monthly exploding sensitivity since you're the first teenage girl in this house, Renjun manages to tame you down when he calmly offer you a cup of warm chamomile tea you love.

“Maybe it’s the coffee.” You shrug it off. Come to think of it, you never see the school selling coffee but Jaemin always brings his cup of super dark coffee.

“Oh home early?” Taeyong, the oldest son of the orphanage owner, greets you both. Well Taeyong is like the head matron here, every school letter directed to him and every new kid will meet him.

“It's not her day. I brought her home before she spent another day dozing off in the school's garden.” Renjun whispers to Taeyong and the older just nods his head.

“Oh! Did I mention to you we will have a new family tonight? Please be nice, he comes from this neighborhood and we actually had been waiting for his arrival since last month, but he always escaped before his vise parents want to drop him here.

You grow annoyed at this news. Well you don’t really like having to act kind and good in front of the others. Especially when meeting new members. Taeyong always asked you to at least be welcoming and less patronizing but you cannot keep your resting bitch face to yourself.

“I might as well skip dinner.” You taunt at Taeyong “No way I am acting kind in front of that person when I had a shitty day.”

Taeyong just hums to your threat, it is nothing new. You're a stone heart and he doesn’t want to have to slap you because of your stubbornness.

“I don’t mind. Just try to be welcoming, he had a rough time too.” Taeyong waves his hand and disappears behind his study room.

“I wonder who is going to join us. Our dining table is empty after Mark and Hyuck got adopted.” Renjun is excited to welcome the new family, maybe because he really likes it better here and therefore, he wants to make sure everyone else is welcomed.

Unlike you who still can't swallow the bitter truth. For you, your real family was the best, yet you didn’t know when everything started to fall apart.

The other comes home, you see Jisung, Jeno, and Chenle coming from the backyard and you hide yourself back on your room. Dinner is ready they just have to heat it up. The stew.

You close your window and come back to sit in front of your paper. Trying to remember what project you missed and have to do.

You look around the room, you used to have a bigger room, but after Taeyong knew you cannot stay still when there are mess, he moved you to a smaller room where you cannot store so many things. He said its for your own good. He doesn’t want you to stress yourself and distract your studies just to clean things up.

You feel your stomach rumbling but when you hear the noisy sound downstairs, you remember the new family. Actually, you are curious, so you sneak from your room and take a peek from the walls.

Your mind might be playing tricks on you, you rub your eyes and focus more to the familiar man in the same uniform as yours. You want to doubt it, but when you hear Jisung repeats his name you want to jump away from this house and run far away.

Life must have hated you so much to send Na Jaemin not only to your school but also to your “house".

Although you try to ignore him, your mind wonders what makes him come here. He looks like he is okay, only naughty, but he doesn’t look like an orphan.

“Dinner?” Yuta, Taeyong's younger brother asks you when he was about to go down and greet Jaemin.

You quickly gasp and shake your head before making a quick run to lock yourself in your room.

You try to think of any reason why Jaemin is here… from dinner to nine you cannot think of doing other thing rather than fiddling with your pen as you let your brain wonder and wonder.

Only around twelve did you suddenly jolt and realize you've wasted another night without doing your paper. You hear a step on the squeaky floor, and you have to stay quiet. Taeyong and Yuta wouldn’t like seeing you still awake this late. However, you don’t recognize the footsteps. Must be Jaemin’s.

The next morning, you escape earlier from the house. Leaving before breakfast for the sake of not meeting Jaemin. You're still mad at him and you hate him. You hate him for giving you hard times at school and now at “home".

You were waiting in the class when suddenly Jaemin comes into the class with a nervous face. You wonder did he just see a ghost? Jaemin really looks out of his place. Did he finally realize he is thrown away to the orphanage? Or did he finally realize you're secretly writing foot notes to the teacher that Jaemin is only leeching on your grades? Did he get called by the office?

You try your best to stop distracting your mind and continue working your essay. Thank goodness you can submit the work when the teacher leaves the class, only then did you see Jaemin's frozen state on his chair.

“Jaem?” you surprise yourself too for calling out his name. He also looks surprised.

“Yes?” he puts on his damn sickening pretty smile back like he always did to other students.

“Erase that smile. It's creepy.” You mutter and the other girls in your class is wanting to end you up there and then.

“Sorry, it’s just that… I … I didn’t get my coffee this morning.”

You raise your brow, oh right. Taeyong and Yuta are not giving us caffeine until we are 20.

You raise a brow “And? Can’t you skip once?”

His feet thump on the floor and he looks around nervously “You're right. I- don’t mind me.” He stands up and suddenly leaves you with bigger question mark in your head.

He sure is weird. What’s wrong with skipping one cup of that bitter liquid?

--

“(Y/n)! Come let's go home.” Renjun greets you on the lobby as you wait for the youngers to come too.

“Noona, you should meet Jaemin hyung! He is so sweet last night!” Jisung tugs on your uniform.

You frown and shudder your shoulder “Jisung, I hate that man.”

Jeno just laughs at your words and at Jisung's surprised expression “So, should we wait for him?”

You click your tongue “Actually that weird man left class after the first session and did not come back to class. Maybe he ran away. Let's go before it rains.” You start leaving the lobby, but no one follows you.

“Is it because of us?” Jisung worriedly asks his brothers.

Renjun thinks for a while “You mean what happened this morning?”

Jisung nods. Your ear can still hear them, for they start walking after you too. You have to hold yourself from turning around and asking them what happened this morning that made him weird!

When the five of you enter the house, that's when your brain finally clicked on what Jaemin must be suffering.

There in the middle of the living room, is Jaemin looking so uncomfortable as he forces his hand to write on a paper with a textbook opened by his side, but what comes out of his hand is just scribbles of lines and curves and he looks like he is painting instead of writing an essay.

“So damn hard to be productive!” he suddenly throws his pen and pulls his hair. All five of you are shocked to see this. Even you! You never see this side of Jaemin in school.  He always looks like the charming prince every girl’s crush, but this is definitely not the same man.

His lips are trembling, limbs unable to stop shaking and he looks in pain. And he starts to hit himself as if scolding his body for not cooperating.

You are in awe and you have to quickly usher Jisung and Chenle away.

“Jaemin! Calm down okay.” Jeno and Renjun quickly stand by his side and tries to keep the boy from hitting himself.

You bring Jisung and Chenle to their rooms while your head is quickly thinking of what to do. You sure see he is panicking and he's throwing tantrum. Taeyong and Yuta are not here yet but when you see your reflection on the window with a clean uniform suddenly your mind reminds you of the incident yesterday.

Coffee. Na Jaemin needs coffee. As silly as it sounds, you've read somewhere that coffee can help someone with ADHD or something like that. You're not sure, but you want to give it a chance. You run to your room, break your saving jar and pick out the bills you've been saving.

“Jaemin, how many shots?” you ask him when you pass through him.

Renjun and Jeno look at you with question in their face but Jaemin understands you and holds out a number with his hand.

Your eyes widen but you run to the nearest coffee shop, the one with the brand you always see Jaemin holding.

“Give me americano with six shots of espresso. Cold I don’t know with water or not.” You sound as mad as a hatter, but the barista seems to notice something.

“Are you by any chance taking an order for Jaemin?” he asks you nod your head baffled that he is a regular here until the shift knows his order and name.

“I was confused when the morning shift told me Jaemin skipped his coffee today. Alright i'll make it like how he always orders.” The man with a name tag Mark punches the bill and gives you the amount.

You don’t mind paying such high price for the black bitter drink you never like, as soon as Mark hands you the drink you walk as fast as you can back to the house.

You see Renjun waiting for you in the porch and he looks pale.

“Where did you go?! I was worried.” Renjun almost scolds you for leaving suddenly.

You walk past him “Jaemin! I have your coffee.” You yell at him, who is currently staring on the TV that's off. Jeno is still sitting next to him, afraid that Jaemin will do anything dangerous.

Jaemin's eyes widen as he quickly takes over the drink and gulp it down like his life depends on it.

All three of you wait for him to finish half of his drink and like magic, Jaemin looks calmer.

He closes his eyes and leans on the couch. His head rests on the small pillow Jeno tosses to him and you can see his usual self back.

After ten minutes, he opens his eyes stretches his body and like a robot who has his reset button pressed, Jaemin shoots a “what?” look to the three of you.

“Sorry if I freaked all of you out. I…” he shyly scratches his head “I have a minor ADHD and … coffee seems to be helping me focus and calm down.”

Now everything clicks. You understand why the teacher actually always assigned you with him, because no one else can handle Jaemin as patient as you and you're too blunt to notice he has his own trouble. You understand why he always brings a coffee to the class and why he looks calm when he has them. Unlike yesterday when he spilled it over you, you clearly see a slight terror in his eyes, and he disappeared from class. Maybe he was shy of showing his true self in class. You now know the reason he skipped class today because of the lack of caffeine and you just didn’t know he is also as wrecked as you guys.

That night, Jaemin knocks on your door and invites you to join dinner.

“You skipped dinner last night, I don’t know if it’s because I was there… and yesterday I was really ruining your day. I'm sorry I wasn’t a good friend too at school.” Jaemin speaks rather in a calm tone and you're taken aback he can speak in a soft kind voice and not the high pitch annoying teasing voice you regular get in school.

You're flustered, but you quickly put back your cold face “It's okay. T'was my fault too not looking the way.  Don’t worry I skipped dinner last night coz I am not hungry.” You lied.

No way you were going to spill the truth to him, not when you already know how hard his days are. He was not as bright and happy as he looks like.

“Renjun told me last night everything about you. I am so sorry…I didn’t know my jokes were very painful and disturbing to you. I should’ve stopped but you know I sometimes cannot hold my brain back.” Chuckles Jaemin nervously.

You sigh and place a hand on his shoulder “Life is hard right?” He nods his head and you squeeze his shoulder, “We also find it hard. But at least we're not alone now. We have each other and the others too. I am also sorry for picking on you to the teacher for leeching my score, but I promise I won’t do that again. I'll help you Jaemin.” You smile sincerely to him.

His face brightens “You're the best! I always have hard time focusing! Well coffee helps me, but still it's not healthy.”

You take his hand in yours “Na Jaemin, you're a part of our family now. Since we're family, we will get each other's back! Don’t worry things will be okay and you too will be okay!”

He Smiles and that is a new smile you've ever seen on him. A smile that's pure and true. That shows he too is also a human who can feel pain not just the angelic handsome boy in class.

“We should eat. The others are waiting,” Chenle's appearance in the hallway makes you and Jaemin turn your heads to him.

“She's right. We're family, now family eats dinner, together right? Come on! Taeyong hyung got us some pizzas for your welcome party.” Chenle drags the taller man's hand which automatically pulls you too.

A smile comes to your face when you realize just how perfect this imperfect family is!

Yes you also struggled focusing on a certain job, yes you also hate messy stuffs, yes it's true Renjun took three months to open his mouth and speak complete sentences, it also takes Jeno five months to be true about his feelings, and Jisung plus Chenle? They also have their fish to fry. Now Jaemin, is here with his own battle that will soon be shared within us.

Just like the famous quote, Ohana means family and family means no one is left behind.

Looking around the table, although you really wish you have a sister or a mother figure here, you're more than happy to call the 7 men your brothers and families.

end

please let me know if there are anything I can fix. I am trying a new genre and it’s a bit challenging but I am happy with finishing this. 

Contact or reach me out if you have any curiosity of what happens to the members or maybe you wonder what their problems are. 

Thank you for reading :D ����💖

#nct dream imagines #nct dream scenarios #nct dream oneshots #nct dream fanfic #nct dream #jaemin x you #jaemin x reader #renjun x reader #renjun x you #renjun x y/n #jaemin x y/n #jaemin #renjun #jaemin oneshot #renjun oneshot #yuta x taeyong #jeno #chenle #jisung #nct oneshot #nct fanfic #jaemin americano coffee

[eponinemylove]

some things i would like to remind everyone about aftg

kevin day is not a coward, he’s learning to overcome his trauma and fear of his abusers. even before he’s dealt with any of his shit he still manages to stand face to face with the moriyamas, and he put up with everything they did to him since he was a child. he’s a strong fucking character. also, he actually gets into a lot of fights, many of which he picks himself. he’s honestly almost as bad as neil in a lot of ways

nicky is more than just an over-the-top, horny gay. he’s pretty well adjusted considering the trauma he went through—before he even took on the added responsibility and trauma of the twins—and he’s so dedicated and loving to his family, even when they treat him like shit. he’s deep, optimistic, forgiving, faithful, and also a very strong character. he’s more than just some twink, guys. nicky gets pretty serious in some of his scenes, and we all remember thanksgiving.

just the fact that ALL of the foxes dealt with some serious trauma and shit in their lives, not just neil and andrew. all of them

aaron did hard drugs to cope with his mothers abuse and he has serious problems with older women/potential mother figures. i really feel like everyone just completely forgot aaron is a recovering drug addict? bc that’s a significant part of canon

while we’re on the subject, matt is a recovering drug addict too. like, hello, his track marks anyone?? it’s one the the first things we’re told about his character. also that ANDREW was the one who led to matt’s eventual rehab (through some... questionable means, definitely)

dan, renee, and allison were Not friends their first year

allison reynolds can and absolutely Will throw hands. she is not afraid to fight someone on or off the court. also, she genuinely cares about exy and gave up her family and inheritance to play!!!

not only was dan (unapologetically) a stripper, but she keeps in touch with her stage sisters and i think invited them to their final game?

ANDREW HAS A PERSONALITY MORE THAN JUST INTENSE SILENCE AND “YES OR NO”. like, don’t get me wrong, those are very much Andrew, but don’t erase medicated andrew’s whole personality! sure it wasn’t exactly him as himself, but it’s the andrew we saw and knew for at least two books. and medicated andrew was an Experience. he was hilarious and sassy and frankly kind of unbelievable. he delivered a lot of great lines

neil josten is not soft. he’s not even nice. he is an asshole (we been knew) and i mean seriously, just genuinely a dick. we all know and love his roasts and sassy moments, but my boy has some highly questionable morals, a concerning lack of empathy at times, just awful priorities really, and a whole crap ton of anger and trust issues. also, he has a habit of picking fights and then just hightailing it the fuck out of there, letting someone else step in to try and diffuse the situation. he’s exactly like a cat that makes eye contact with you as it knocks a vase off the counter and then pretends it did nothing wrong and can’t understand why you’re upset

aaron was interested in meeting andrew when they first found out they were twins

aaron is actually pretty protective of andrew in his own way!!!

there are a lot of parallels between aaron and neil, but one i particularly want to point out is that neil gave aaron so much shit about still holding that resentment about andrew and everything that went down with their mom BUT neil was in a very similar situation (we all know neil’s mom beat the crap out of him) and he still mourned his mom!! in fact he never decisively villianized his own mother while having no problem villianizing tilda to try and justify andrew’s actions (ik this sounds biased but i’m not casting judgement here, i understand why andrew did what he did and i can’t say i hate him for it)

coach wymack is very mindful of all his foxes’ traumas and while he doesn’t pretend to be a particularly pleasant or coddling authority figure, he does go out of his way to accommodate for them however they need it. he won’t yell or make himself opposing with neil. he follows and deals with andrew’s touching rule. he indulges in the monsters’ trips to columbia as long as they stay out of trouble for the most part. he knows his players and what they’ve been through, and he does everything he can to get them help, whether they know they need it or not. he gives second chances. he makes sure they feel safe.

also, and this is on such a different note than the last couple of points, but even though the foxes supposedly sucked as a team before neil got there (and well into his first year), the student body was still pretty supportive?? like ok ik there was the vandalism thing and no one actually expected the foxes to win or whatever, but they still turned up to the games and cheered. if i remember correctly, the wore orange on game days and booed the opposing teams. was there a song? there might’ve been like a school song too

#aftg #all for the game #tfc #the foxhole court #neil josten #andrew minyard #kevin day #nicky hemmick #allison reynolds #matt boyd #aaron minyard #coach wymack #david wymack #the foxes #psu foxes #renee walker #dan wilds

[autolenaphilia]

The Lost World by Arthur Conan Doyle

A photograph of Conan Doyle (as Challenger) and friends, dressed up as the expedition in the novel, and published with the novel in its original serialization in the Strand Magazine.

The Lost World by Arthur Conan Doyle, first published in 1912, is one of the most influential adventure novels ever. It had its predecessors in Victorian fiction, such as Verne’s Journey to The Centre of the Earth and Haggard’s King Solomon’s Mines, both are actually referenced to in the text as a homage. But The Lost World is still one of the models for stories about adventure in general and dinosaurs in particular. You can see traces of its influence in Edgar Rice Burroughs’ Pellucidar stories, the Indiana Jones movies and the Jurassic Park books and movies (the second book and movie were both titled “The Lost World” in reference to Conan Doyle).

It is about the discovery of an almost inaccessible plateau in the South American Amazon, “The Lost World” of the title. The hot-blooded English zoologist Professor Challenger is the first to bring back news of it to the Western world. He argues that on the plateau, creatures long thought exist still live, including dinosaurs. Challenger organizes an expedition from London to explore the plateau further. It consists of the journalist Edward Malone, who is also the narrator of the book, Lord John Roxton, a hunter and adventurer and Professor Summerlee, a rival scientist to Challenger.

The book is undoubtedly a fun and exciting read. The story about venturing into the unknown, encountering dangers and finding supposedly extinct creatures like dinosaurs is well-told and exciting. The use of a first person narrator, Malone, writing down the adventure as it happens adds a sense of suspense and immediacy to the story.

The sense of fun is added to by the humour of the book. The adventure elements of the book exist in union with strong elements of comedy. The book, for all its influence on the subsequent genre, came late to the era of imperial victorian/edwardian adventure fiction. And there is an element of parody to it’s awareness of the genre’s conventions. Professor Challenger is a strange character, and the book pokes fun at his self-centredness, self importance, mood swings and general eccentricity in behaviour and appearance.  It also takes six entire chapters out of this 16 chapter novel before the adventurous journey begins. And this beginning part of the book, set in London, besides introducing the plot and characters, is primarily comedic.

There is of course an inherent difficulty in such switches of moods between suspenseful adventure and comedy, but the narrative manages it well.

Certainly, the portrayal of dinosaurs is outdated in many ways, although the strength of the storytelling is able to overcome any such problems. The differences to our modern understanding of dinosaurs, both pop cultural and scientific, are still interesting. For example the large carnivorous dinosaur that threatens the heroes is either an “allosaurus” or “megalosaurus” (neither Challenger or Summerlee are quite sure), when that role in a modern work would naturally be filled by a T-Rex.

But the dinosaur science is sadly not the only thing that is outdated. Being an adventure novel from 1912, the underlying ideology of the book is clearly colonialist and influenced by the racist thought dominant at the time. The time period merely explains, not excuses it. The very premise of the book rests on the far from innocent ideology of the white “explorer” and “discoverer”.  

It is telling that Challenger and his doomed American predecessor Maple White are viewed as the “discovers” of the plateau solely because they are the first white men to stumble upon it. They later discover a tribe of “indians” had not only discovered the plateau first but even settled it, but this is treated as of lesser importance than Challenger’s discovery of it.

The racism is on display in the depiction of the book’s human villains, who are described as “half-breeds”. It is not stated but implied their mixed-race origins led to their villainy. It is most evident in the “apemen” the explorers find on the plateau. They are a “missing link” between apes and modern humans. They are explicitly stated to be entirely non-human for unclear reasons, a purely evil and repugnant species, fit only for extermination and slavery. The ape-men might not be intended as analogues for a racial other, as their non-human nature stands in contrast to the people of colour in the book, but the effect is still present.

The treatment of people of colour is complicated, because it is not uniformly negative. The black assistant Zambo is treated sympathetically, as is the “indians” the explorers find on the plateau. But the portrayals rest on stereotypes, the loyal black servant and the primitive native tribe. And it is always dependent on those sympathetic people of colour being subservient in varying degrees to the white heroes. The Indian tribe is the closest the book gets to a complex portrayal, as their members have differences of opinion and the possibility of them turning on the white heroes is always a possibility, without that marking them as evil.

The duality between “civilized” and “barbaric” is also undercut in ironic ways sometimes.  In fighting the apemen, the white heroes gets involved in a “primitive” darwinian struggle for survival and even the narrator is taken back by his own bloodlust. When they leave, there is also the sense that their discovery will lead to the western exploitation of this untouched wilderness, destroying it.

The book’s comedic elements resurface when Professor Challenger is also shown to have a near-doppelganger in the form of the leader of the apemen, which enables him to get on a friendly footing with their leader. This revelation is foreshadowed by the contradictions in Challenger’s character, who seems to combine both the aspects of civilization and the “barbaric” or animalistic in one person. He is an intelligent scientist, but can also be a hairy, violent and emotional brute. Challenger is not a very sympathetic character, despite his heroic traits, but these contradictions make him interesting.

Another factor is that the novel also bears traces of Conan Doyle’s own stance against the worst crimes of imperialism. The character of Lord John Roxton is influenced by Roger Casement, who was Conan Doyle’s friend and ally against the abuses in the Belgian Congo under King Leopold’s rule. Casement later reported on human rights abuses against virtually enslaved native workers on rubber plantations in Peru. This influenced Roxton’s backstory in the novel, where he is said to have waged a veritable war against a similar (or perhaps even identical) situation in Peru.

The Lost World is highly worth reading for anyone who looking for a fun adventure novel. Of course the reader’s enjoyment is predicated on them being able to look past it being a deeply imperialist text. But if you are able to do so, you’ll find a highly entertaining story in its pages. Those who like me love the Sherlock Holmes stories will find the immense writing and storytelling skills of Arthur Conan Doyle fully evident in this book.

I read the Oxford World Classics edition of the book, which I highly recommend chiefly for its annotations, created by Ian Duncan. They explain a lot of obscure words and references to contemporary political and cultural events and other novels that I would otherwise have missed. The introduction by Duncan should really have been placed as an afterword (it is best read after the reader has read the novel), but is good at explaining the historical context and ideological underpinnings of the novel. The Oxford edition was really helpful in my writing this review.

#the lost world #arthur conan doyle