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nonebinary-leftbeef · 10 months

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DEVASTATING the lyric you've been mishearing is better than the real one

#i've been listening to icarus by bastille #and for some reason my brain fills in 'this is how it feels to take a fall' as 'this is how it feels to take off all your skin'#and like fuck man #and I KNOW that’s technically not a misheard lyric but my post my rules cope #anyway my line now #also probably phrased this poorly but its ok #im allowed to be incomprehensible #as a treat #and then fuckin #from we sink by of monsters and men #the original line was 'please look away dont look at me'#and i kept hearing it as 'please learn a way to look at me'#anyway #shoving this post in the queue but please be aware that i am writing it very late at night #q

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inkskinned · 10 months

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at some point it's just like. do they even fucking like the thing they're asking AI to make? "oh we'll just use AI for all the scripts" "we'll just use AI for art" "no worries AI can write this book" "oh, AI could easily design this"

like... it's so clear they've never stood in the middle of an art museum and felt like crying, looking at a piece that somehow cuts into your marrow even though the artist and you are separated by space and time. they've never looked at a poem - once, twice, three times - just because the words feel like a fired gun, something too-close, clanging behind your eyes. they've never gotten to the end of the movie and had to arrive, blinking, back into their body, laughing a little because they were holding their breath without realizing.

"oh AI can mimic style" "AI can mimic emotion" "AI can mimic you and your job is almost gone, kid."

... how do i explain to you - you can make AI that does a perfect job of imitating me. you could disseminate it through the entire world and make so much money, using my works and my ideas and my everything.

and i'd still keep writing.

i don't know there's a word for it. in high school, we become aware that the way we feel about our artform is a cliche - it's like breathing. over and over, artists all feel the same thing. "i write because i need to" and "my music is how i speak" and "i make art because it's either that or i stop existing." it is such a common experience, the violence and immediacy we mean behind it is like breathing to me - comes out like a useless understatement. it's a cliche because we all feel it, not because the experience isn't actually persistent. so many of us have this ... fluttering urgency behind our ribs.

i'm not doing it for the money. for a star on the ground in some city i've never visited. i am doing it because when i was seven i started taking notebooks with me on walks. i am doing it because in second grade i wrote a poem and stood up in front of my whole class to read it out while i shook with nerves. i am doing it because i spent high school scribbling all my feelings down. i am doing it for the 16 year old me and the 18 year old me and the today-me, how we can never put the pen down. you can take me down to a subatomic layer, eviscerate me - and never find the source of it; it is of me. when i was 19 i named this blog inkskinned because i was dramatic and lonely and it felt like the only thing that was actually permanently-true about me was that this is what is inside of me, that the words come up over everything, coat everything, bloom their little twilight arias into every nook and corner and alley

"we're gonna replace you". that is okay. you think that i am writing to fill a space. that someone said JOB OPENING: Writer Needed, and i wrote to answer. you think one raindrop replaces another, and i think they're both just falling. you think art has a place, that is simply arrives on walls when it is needed, that is only ever on demand, perfect, easily requested. you see "audience spending" and "marketability" and "multi-line merch opportunity"

and i see a kid drowning. i am writing to make her a boat. i am writing because what used to be a river raft has long become a fully-rigged ship. i am writing because you can fucking rip this out of my cold dead clammy hands and i will still come back as a ghost and i will still be penning poems about it.

it isn't even love. the word we use the most i think is "passion". devotion, obsession, necessity. my favorite little fact about the magic of artists - "abracadabra" means i create as i speak. we make because it sluices out of us. because we look down and our hands are somehow already busy. because it was the first thing we knew and it is our backbone and heartbreak and everything. because we have given up well-paying jobs and a "real life" and the approval of our parents. we create because - the cliche again. it's like breathing. we create because we must.

you create because you're greedy.

#every time someones like ''AI will replace u" im like. u will have to fucking KILL ME #there is no replacement here bc i am not filling a position. i am just writing #and the writing is what i need to be doing #writeblr #this probably doesn't make sense bc its sooo frustrating i rarely speak it the way i want to #edited for the typo wrote it and then was late to a meeting lol #i love u people who mention my typos genuinely bc i don't always catch them!!!! :) it is doing me a genuine favor!!!#my friend says i should tell you ''thank you beta editors'' but i don't know what that means #i made her promise it isn't a wolf fanfiction thing. so if it IS a wolf thing she is DEAD to me (just kidding i love her)#hey PS PS PS ??? if ur reading this thinking what it's saying is ''i am financially capable of losing this'' ur reading it wrong #i write for free. i always have. i have worked 5-7 jobs at once to make ends meet.#i did not grow up with access or money. i did not grow up with connections or like some kind of excuse #i grew up and worked my fucking ASS OFF. and i STILL!!! wrote!!! on the side!!! because i didn't know how not to!!!#i do not write for money!!!! i write because i fuckken NEED TO #i could be in the fucking desert i could be in the fuckken tundra i could be in total darkness #and i would still be writing pretentious angsty poetry about it #im not in any way saying it's a good thing. i'm not in any way implying that they're NOT tryna kill us #i'm saying. you could take away our jobs and we could go hungry and we could suffer #and from that suffering (if i know us) we'd still fuckin make art.#i would LOVE to be able to make money doing this! i never have been able to. but i don't NEED to. i will find a way to make my life work #even if it means being miserable #but i will not give up this thing. for the whole world.

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adustoflove · 3 months

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Having bpd to me is like I'm the loneliest person on the planet, no matter how many people I talk to, no matter how many connections I make or have, I'm a lonely void who will die alone. I have to be talking to someone or with someone every second of every minute of every day. I love people so much, I need people. There's so many people out there with different things to teach you. And then, if I have to talk to one person for more than 6 seconds today, I'll kill them. I'll kill myself. I need to be left alone for the rest of the day, I need no one but myself to be happy. I don't want to partake in anything with anyone because it's all draining and taking out of my alone time. Everyone is the same, they're all boring and self-absorbed. Every conversation feels like I'm forcing myself to be actively present. I just want to be alone in my room with nothing or no one. I don't see a future where I'm happy with anyone other than being by myself.

#bpd #bpd vent #actually bpd #bpd thoughts #actually borderline #bpd splitting #lately I've just been slowly moving away from all my friends too #haven't spoken to anyone on insta for days despite usually talking to at least 2-3 friends every few days #irl sent me a video a week ago...never responded. I haven't even been feeling lonely really #I just KNOW when my period creeps up on me I'll be a whining sad piss baby who's openly pathetic about needing human connection #like I wish I just felt no need for it ever. it feels SO good to be alone and not have any obligations as a person #then the crippling loneliness of forever being alone seeps in when tbh I'm fine with it currently actually

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nicolloyd · 3 months

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happy birthday ninjago you are officially a teenager! here is my kinda lame comic that took too long to make

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delineate-creates · 7 months

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Day 11: Wander

Wandering…sneaking…it’s all semantics, really…

#inktober #inktober2023 #hp #harry potter #tom riddle #tomarry #tomarrymort #my art #fanart #yes I know this is a day late 😭#my cell signal AND wifi went out yesterday afternoon and didn’t come back until 2pm today #and on top of that I had the workday from hell #had to drive to an Exxon half an hour away and put my laptop on a hotspot #and our dumbass deployment had dumbass errors that took forever to pin down #I haven’t even done day 12’s drawing so it’s about to look like hot garbage :)

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 10 months

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It's the 6 month anniversary of this blog! Check out these cool bugs I found.

Part 2 - Part 3

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #hollow knight #mdzs au #way too many characters to tag #'OP why?' Listen... It was either this or a Homestuck crossover. Which is still on the table btw. I've put thought into it.#Speaking of putting thought into things...I have put two full asses of effort into this. So I'm gonna talk about it in the tags.#I mapped all the major sects to hallownest clans and drew *way* more than just the characters shown here #More pertinently not shown are the Nies - Who are beetles!#The mantis clan has a lot of crossover with the Nies given the lore but I Love Mantis Wangji and you cant take him away from me.#wwx was a moth solely for his ties to Baoshen sanren (nearly forgotten sect & nearly forgotten clan)#but (HOLLOW KNIGHT SPOILERS) the ties to her radiance and the infection made for some very fun parallels #YLLZ moth 100% is puppeting husks around #JGS is a pale king expy becuase...you know....lots of children...#it also gives me a great excuse to explain wwx's soul taking mxy's body.#Still have lots and lots to say but I'm already running late! More funny - less specific to a very small population - comics to morrow!#This was more or less a style study and I learned a lot!#Thank you all for an awesome 6 months B*) You guys have pushed my way more out of my shell (pun intented) than I would-#-have ever gone had I just hidden away like I usually do. Thanks for all the support even with silly things like this <3

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softhe4rted · 10 months

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on loneliness jenny slate / japanese breakfast, posing for cars / corinne von lebusa, big glow / dadushin / alejandra pizarnik, tr. me / fka twings, home with you / avocado_ibuprofen / fiona apple, left alone / anne carson, “the anthropology of water”, plainwater / kiki smith, free fall / alejandra pizarnik, diaries

#hi my post #oooooohhh this is just a compilation of my own feelings lately #i know i have a red de apoyo i know i have my dearest friends but it's so hard to not feel alone when we're so far away #idk i just miss school and having someone to talk to everyday i'm not a text gal i need to hear your voice i need to see you i need someone #to caress my hair i need contact i need closeness i need to know somebody hears me #it's not all bad i do love my solitude but i just .... i just think in a room full of people nobody would choose me #lol i'm gonna stop now i just always use my tags as a venting space xd #also yes i had the audacity to translate alejandra pizarnik but i just couldn't find that bit already translated and i really wanted it her #web weaving #on loneliness #loneliness tag #being alone #jenny slate #japanese breakfast #posing for cars #corinne von lebusa #dadu shin #alejandra pizarnik #fka twigs #home with you #fiona apple #left alone #anne carson #plainwater #kiki smith #parallels #poetry #prose #words #lyrics

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nonomives · 2 years

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Im just gonna...

Yeah

I just realized luz is missing an arm but ykno what its too late now

Edit: fixed it

#huntlow #lumity #toh #the owl house #luz noceda #amity blight #toh willow #toh hunter #eeart #fanart #crying because I joined the fandom like a couple episodes away from ending #but you know what better late than never #toh spoilers

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bisexualfbiagents · 5 months

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Do you believe that my sister Samantha was abducted by aliens? Have you ever believed that? No. So what do you think happened to her?

THE X FILES | FOX MULDER in Paper Hearts (4.10) Happy Birthday @samanthamulder🎉

#the x files #txf #dailytxf #txfedit #xfilesnet #fox mulder #mine #paper hearts #4x10 #sorry it's so late!! by the time you see this it certainly won't be your birthday anymore lol this just took longer than expected #forgot how to make gifs while i was away :p #also i've never made something for someone like this before so i wasn't sure what to do lol #i just know you like this episode so here we are !#hope you had a great birthday :')

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victimized-martyr · 10 months

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I’m fascinated by the new direction mattrey are taking liane and cartman’s relationship. like, she’s *done* with him, she’s not the same mom who would blindly call him cute when he does outrageous things…

#love is a largely foreign concept in the cartman household #liane and cartman would say ‘i love you’ but they don’t… act the way a mother and son should #like trey’s thing abt ‘liane treats him more like a friend than a son’#cartman being cartman #liane freely giving him codeine #not shielding him away from her ‘job’…#south park #eric cartman #cartman #i don’t know if it’s too late to repair these two. i truly don’t know #my art

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canisalbus · 25 days

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I’m going to Rome next week & ofc some in the group want to throughly Vatican & thanks to you I’m ready yes let’s go on the Machete & Vasco tour instead of internally monologuing about Ugh This Institution. I mean still ugh-this-institution but with mentally projected appetizing dogmen. And beautiful architecture of course etc etc. So, cheers.

Oh that's so cool! It's actually really flattering to hear you're planning to go see the Vatican just so you can visualize my dog men in their natural habitat.

I hope you have a wonderful trip!

#or at least closest to their natural habitat you can get to today #obviously the city has changed since the late 1500's-early 1600's and a lot of it's iconic structures like the piazza in it's current form #were modeled my Bernini in mid to late 1600's which is after their time #but you know #I think the Sistine chapel has remained practically unchanged since renaissance times but I could be wrong #answered #spicytartlet #picture them on a stroll together at some remote spot away from the biggest crowds #walking shoulder to shoulder so close they're almost touching

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deeva-arud · 4 months

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Deeva Årud - Club Wear Voice Lines

When Summoned: Lights dimmed, tension building up… Are you ready to feel our rhythm? Summon Line: Playing music with friends is fun, I’m glad to be here even though I’m starting to feel a bit nervous.

Groooovy!!: We’d be delighted to see you at our next show. Spotting a familiar face among the crowd is always nice. Home: “Let’s rock and roll”, as some would say. Home Idle 1: I joined the Pop Music Club on my second year. Perhaps it’s quite a drastic change from my previous club but… it’d be a lie to say I’m not enjoying my time here. Home Idle 2: Most of the time I’m the one suggesting we should practice, but somehow Lilia, Cater and Kalim always distract me with all these unknown snacks and gadgets. Sometimes I have the feeling they do it on purpose… Home Idle 3: I need to warm my hands, it’s hard playing an instrument when they’re cold. Home Idle – Login: *humming Piece of My World* Ah- sorry, I didn’t see you there. Can I help you with something? Home Idle – Groovy: I’ve been playing violin and other instruments since I was a kid. My family has always had a connection with music and I’ll gladly continue this legacy. Conveying your thoughts and feelings through sounds is quite satisfactory. Home Tap 1: My first concert with them? Since it was the first time I’d be playing in front of many people, I knew I’d have a hard time trying to look at the audience. Cater noticed and told me to look at him so I could feel less overwhelmed… Let’s say I didn’t expect him to be so literal. His clones substituted the audience because no one came to see us. Home Tap 2: Hm, my violin? Indeed, it’s not the same one I use at Mostro Lounge. An electric violin is more suitable for the club’s activities. I’m surprised you noticed it. That means someone’s been paying too much attention to the musician playing ambience music… That was a joke. Home Tap 3: Kalim and I joined the club in the same year so I got to see how much he’s improved his drumming technique. It’s impressive. Certainly, Lilia’s been an excellent teacher to him. Home Tap 4: I like the idea of having customized masks for our performances. Maybe I should mention it once we have enough funds. Home Tap 5: I recently accepted to do some vocals just for our club sessions. You can come see us, but please refrain from telling everyone else. At the moment, I only feel comfortable singing for a few people. Home Tap – Groovy: When it comes to a band like this many wouldn’t think of a violinist, but that actually gives songs an interesting feeling, don’t you think? Duo: [DEEVA]: Ready for a shocking performance, Cater? [CATER]: Ready as ever, Dee-chan!

#To any violinist in the room: I tried :']#I can probably get away with some details since she's not actually playing here #more like positioning her violin/posing #but yeah. An attempt was made #I actually had to redo the whole card because I didn't like how the old one looked #and if it reminds you of something it's probably because I kind of borrowed Lilia's face shape #it was my last resort after drawing 20 heads and not being fully convinced by any of them HDSGSH #the rest is obviously brought to you by my own suffering #Oh and some extra info about Home Tap 1:#Deeva actually kept looking at Cater on stage out of habit even after they gained some listeners #sometimes the poor guy thinks she's glancing at him because he made a mistake or something lmao #Talking about Cater. One of the reason she joined this club was because she promised it to him #when they were first years she didn't know there was a music club like that #and Mr CayCay here informed her a little bit too late of the existence of the PMC #Also unrelated to what I was saying #but please imagine she says “let's rock and roll” with the most monotonous voice ever #zero spirit in those words #until she picks up her violin and the rock and roll starts rock-and-rolling #it's funnier that way #The need I feel to talk a lot under my art posts needs to be studied #twisted wonderland #twst #twisted wonderland oc #twst oc #Deeva twst #my art

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varilien · 4 months

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given that i've ran this blog for as many years now i think i should get much credit for this being what, only the third dick joke i've ever made here hdfkhkj

anyways. there's this point in the story where vash and wolfwood have to go their separate ways for a while, but neither of them are dealing with it particularly well

(image id below the cut since it's a longer one)

[image ID: a rough, doodley 5 panel digital comic of vash and meryl from trigun, but from my leaden skies au where they've both been lightly redesigned to fit into the setting of monster hunter. vash is a wyverian with long pointed ears, wearing a red coat with gold trim and buttons. meryl is a human wearing a beret as seen on other guild girls, but her all-white outfit is a practical two-piece blouse and shorts set. the whole comic is comprised of warm colors, orange and yellow and dark purple

panel 1: vash sitting in the foreground at a brown desk covered in candles and books, with a book opened in front of him that he flips through with a bored expression and his cheek resting against his hand. he appears to be in a library, lit by candles on dark grey chandeliers hung from the ceiling. meryl is in the background stretching up to reach a book high on a shelf, and beside her is a table which is also covered in candles and several tall stacks of books

panel 2: a closeup of vash's face as his eyes widen and his ears prick up. something in the book has apparently caught his attention

panel 3: a closeup of the page vash was looking at, an illustrated info sheet about the flying wyvern, khezu. a candle in the table brightly illuminates the colored page

panel 4: meryl has come around by vash's shoulders with a stack of books held in her arms. she quirks a brow as she looks over vash's shoulder at the book. vash has a neutral, hard to read look on his face, but his ears are still up and his eyes are still shiny and wide as he seems to consider the page for a while

panel 5: a yellow word bubble comes from vash, who huffs a long sigh and says, "maybe i should call him...". his head has tipped to the side as he rubs his neck and frowns, blushing a little with his ears drooping. meryl physically recoils from him and her face scrunches up in disgust, saying, "eww" and, "there's something wrong with you"

end ID.]