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#and like we were never 'together' so idk wtf im upset about!!!
476b · 5 months
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#ooouuuugghhhhhhh ive spend the last hour making myself sad :(#whyd i have to go catch feelings for someone who Could Not Give A Shit lol#its a blessing that im moving or i would probably just slowly kill myself for the next year#watching him Very Obviously like someone more than me lol#worst part is everyone knows im just some sadsack sidepiece#and like we were never 'together' so idk wtf im upset about!!!#i could go out and do just as much as he does!!!#but i guess i just wish it had been different and that i had gotten closer w everyone else before i had to leave :(#because now i really feel like i could have been spending way more time w everyone if i had stopped waiting for him to invite me to things#he never invited me to shit anyways!! i was ALWAYS the one to ask 'hey are you free sometime'#EVERY SINGLE TIME#killing him with hammers in my mind#i deserve so much better and i KNOW that but hes hot and smart and has such cool friends#and i just really wanted to be part of that group so badly#and i dont have any relationship expirience i dont know how all of this is supposed to Work i just#i dont know i guess i thought it would be different#anyways im seeing him again tomorrow for what might be the last time#and i wont tell him any of the things i should bc ill see his stupid beautiful face and forget everything i wanted to say#you know this mother fucker wont even help me move? more than an entire year together and he flat out says no to helping me#and i know for a Fact he'll never come visit me#and ill probably drive my stupid little ass down two+ hours just to see him#you know hes got at least two guys willing to drive hours just for him#i need to meet this other guy so we can unionize#cus i guarenteeeee hes probably treating this guy not much better than me#and i say probably the last time bc now itll be reliant on him actually making a fucking effort to see me lol#or itll just be at shows and stuff#not like itll make a big difference cus we onky saw each other once or twice a month ANYWAYS#actually makes me so angry why did i spend so much mental energy on this guy#ILL FIND SOMEONE IN ALBANY WHO ACTUALLY FUCKING LIKES ME JUST YOU GUYS WAIT#btw if i know you irl... ignore this... its shameful...
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toomuchracket · 1 year
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going to tell you about my dream because it had matty in it. feel like i should start by saying im a personal assistant for like 5 partners in a law firm and i was working as i think mattys in my dream it was never actually established but we had a-joining hotel rooms for some reason. then there were two little like snapshots (i never dream ever and now this man is in my dreams??)
one of them the guys were going to dinner and he was like “what are you going to do tonight” and im independent so i was like “idk roam the city and find something to do or eat” and he was like “absolutely not, not by yourself in the dark you can come with us” and i hated intruding the dinner but it was no big deal to the group annd then i tried paying for my dinner and he just gave me a look like wtf is wrong with you, and then paid.
second half of the dream he had a girl with him (😢) who was being such a bitch to me bossing me around more than i think dream boss matty ever would and i like ran into him in the lobby with the shit she had me run around and pick up for her (even in my dreams i am a people pleaser even if it kills me) he grabbed it all from me and was mad that i was doing all that. cut to me getting all ready for bed i was like clean face pajamas about to get room service and watch a dumb movie and he knocks on the door basically saying he told the girl to kick rocks and then went what are you doing can i join so then we were in my king bed with my laptop between us and food and a movie and i was dozing off watching the movie but then i woke up.
(i have had several weird dreams about that man like i had one where he gently dumped me and i woke up really fucking upset lol. and then there was another one where i saw him at a party and i was like oh jesus christ this is overwhelming i'm going home he's too hot and my friend like blocked me at the door and just shoved me back into matty who had been walking over to talk to me before i left and i hadn't noticed and then we partied for a bit. odd!)
(also im going to make this romantic soz) but yeah i think if you worked for/with him, like at dirty hit or something, he'd be really sweet and would develop a soft spot for you quite quickly, and as a result he'd be quite protective of you and always making sure you're alright and you're included in things (not that people dislike you or anything he just goes out of his way because he wants to know what you have to say). i also think matty would be quite wary of the optics of coming on to you because of his influence and all, but he likes treating you when you all go out for dinners and drinks after work and he's always interested in what you're up to and like maybe one day you tell him you're going to do something fun by yourself at the weekend (art exhibition? go to see a local band? your friend's book launch? something like that) and he's like "do u want company that sounds so cool" and you're internally screaming because you fancy him and you're like "yeah sure", and it's nice and you start to see each other as friends more socially and develop a closeness. and yeah maybe you go on a work trip with the band and neither of you fancy partying one night so you just chill in a hotel room watching crappy romcoms and eating desserts you got from room service and doze off together and the next morning matty's like "i do... like you, by the way. like i'd quite like to take you on a date" and you're like "i would really like that" and maybe you have a little smooch there and then maybe u don't but either way u go on the date and it's lovely <3
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menalez · 1 year
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idk which ex ur talking about in that "insane things my ex has done" but i relate bcuz i am currently in a relationship with a gendie who has started saying recently that my aversion to male genitalia is incredibly transphobic even though she knows i have been sexually assaulted many times by men (and am and always have been a lesbian lol) (also sorry if this is inappropriate but i feel like i have no one else to confide in.)
im not sure where i talked about her but i can tell from what u said which ex i was talking about lool its my 1st gf and i never rly talked fully about this bc my ex has since transitioned (only socially tho afaik) & continued to be questionable as fuck in various ways and went from friendly w me to shit talking me bc how dare i share my opinions on my blog which she decided to keep regularly checking for years after our break up despite her having a gf and us hardly ever talking (partially bc of me bc frankly in hindsight i was far too forgiving n despite that she demonised me at the end of our relationship n was weird in various moments after we remained friends)
but she was (& is) also a gendie, which is fine bc when we were together she wasnt like irrational about it. she was the one who told me that SRS doesnt work the way i thought it did, like the genitals didnt magically change and there arent like no differences like i thought, instead she said the differences were obvious. but near the end of our relationship she insisted to me that the way to fix her issues was to make our relationship an open relationship, said that my body made her insecure about her own body n she should sleep w people with a similar body to gain confidence in it. prior to that i was not for an open relationship at all but those comments made me feel like saying no would make me selfish and that if thats what she needs to accept herself then fine yanno. then ofc not soon after she starts e-dating this trans woman who is an abusive creep & rapist (like not even exaggerating here. but ofc those accusations were dismissed for a while bc the trans woman called the woman who came out about the abuse a terf n ppl believed that until trans women also began to call this out). i was like um hows dating someone with a diff body than u and even a diff sex going to make u feel better about ur body when thats the entire reason for the open relationship? never rly got a proper answer but whatever i let it be. then that trans woman wanted to be in a throuple with us basically like wanted to get with me and my ex and would openly fantasise about me to my ex. my ex said "oh she wouldnt be into that, shes not into penises" and the trans woman was like omg why.. :( and my ex was like oh shes penis-repulsed etc and the trans woman was like aw how sad i hope she gets help for that!! n my ex agreed. then my ex told me about this n i was like... what the fuck? it took me a bit but after a few days i was like hey this comment really pissed me off wtf do u mean gets help for that.. and my ex was saying that i should seek therapy to stop being penis-repulsed and should see trans women as women and be open to trans women in a romantic & sexual way basically and i was clearly upset by that n i was like. ur telling me to seek conversion therapy. n she was like nooo and i was like what so u mean some kind of exposure therapy against the "phobia" of penises? and she was like yeah just like that! n i said... thats literally a form of conversion therapy that was done in the past to other gay ppl.. exposing gay ppl to the opposite sex's genitals to try to change their feelings towards it is literally a conversion therapy tactic.
anyways my ex n i ultimately broke up bc it turned out the open relationship was meant to be one-sided somehow and her doing things was ok but if i did things it made me a cheater somehow and my comfort was repeatedly disregarded, i didnt like that trans woman at all at that point n my ex would still keep dating them n it was just all too many bad things at once so i was like fuck it im done w this. ultimately my ex realised that this trans woman is indeed an abuser and i also realised the my 2nd gf who i got with soon after i broke up w my ex is also an abuser. but then when my ex began to transition she started to show more of that homophobia she showed during our relationship like saying the f-slur (calling ppl that) and saying its ok bc "im a bisexual man" which was just.........erm... anyways in the end our last form of communication was her getting her friends to gang up on me for ~ruining the fun~ of a game of among us and then she talked shit about me to one of my close friends (been friends for 14 years) who she never even met and was like ~omg shes so problematic im sorry i just cant handle it anymore~ ......
anyways i feel u lmao. its not inappropriate dont worry and im sorry u went thru that too bc its painful to love someone as they are and yet they basically tell u that ur lesbianism means something is wrong w u bc ur truly not into males at all. honestly i think its best for u to end it asap instead of making the mistake i did, nothing good came out of it for me and i shouldve left for good at the first red flag which was my ex's compulsive lying about serious issues like rape & fgm, or immediately ended it when she was saying that i should go thru conversion therapy otherwise im transphobic
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ihateeverything101 · 9 months
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i want to cry. i want to scream. i want to punch. what the fuck. i cant explain. nothing happened. but wtf am i supposed to do. i'm not happy. this is a legit question, could i move in with you? i font think it's healthy and i would prefer to be on my own but i can't afford that right now and i don't even have a car to my name. i feel like i need to leave but it makes me physically react whenever i think about it, nauseous and heart beat racing. i left work early today because of it, i felt like i was going to throw up. it could be for a random reason but it is hard for me to eat currently, i fell hungry and my stomach will grumble but i am falling back into my old ways of ignoring those things.
it is ultimately you decision but i want to add you on snapchat, it is bold and risky but i don't care anymore. i have it set in my head i need to leave him but i have no idea how to do that. i don't want to quit my job but i can't move out of state and keep the job. i know id be able to find another job but it is so difficult, i am scared to leave because my brain is saying, what if it is worse if you leave? he isn't perfect but does make me happy in some ways... idk. if you truly want to know the full scope of things i will tell you but it might hurt you. idk.
let me know. i hope you got some good sleep and work goes decently. i love you. it feels kinda crazy to say that but i'm not lying. i love you like you were my family and i want what is best for you, when we're together i wasn't the best at putting that energy forward and i was abusive. i know you don't want to admit it but i feel i was. i'm rambling but. if we ever are together again or even friends, i want to treat you like the sun, the priority, and never make you feel any diffewnt.
i'm rambling and drunk and in a bad spot, i think i've decided to leave him but what worth more? my emotional energy or my actual time? i want to stay with him until i get my own personal car because that will make it easier for me to do what i need. if i left now i don't have a car or much money to my name.
now im feeling insecure,.. do you actually read everything i have to say or do you only skim it? it doesn't matter i know you have a busy life and i truly want you to be fufilled. i think we are soulmates, i don't want to mistreat you but i think about you all the time and i feel safe around you even though we've been apart for so long and i really don't know you anymore. again, im rambling. let me know if you want to know my reddit, i don't hold back there and there is probably things you don't want to know or hear abuoutt so i wont be upset at all if you do not want to add me there.
i hope you have a good work day and eat food and make sure to drink plenty of water!! 🥰🥺
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wickedmoonsoul · 1 year
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This is something I would prefer to write in my journal, but I left it inside the house and I currently can’t get to it, so I’m just going to write it in here.
Last night me and my gf had this fight, it really sucked. We were talking about how our little chihuahua puppy needs a friend, and foe lol. She’s a handful and wants to fight all the time, so we thought if she had a kitty friend they’d probably play a lot. Unfortunately we live with my parents, and they hate cats. I recalled a time we had a cat here at the house and my parents couldn’t STAND it, it was only there because my ex had brought it, and she was living with us. So I told my gf “yeah, we used to-“ and i fucking froze because i didnt want to talk about the cat knowing it was my ex’s cat, and I knew she would ask me who’s cat it was or how i got it or something and I’d have to bring up my ex, so i just completely avoided it after. After that, she looked really upset and looked down at her phone and got quiet /.\ i asked if she was okay or upset, and at first she kept saying she was fine, but you know how you can feel when that’s not true. Then…wtf, idk for some reason i cant remember what happened next, like i cant remember word for word what was said and i dont want to make something up in replacement, i just know i ended up telling her how i was gonna tell her there was a cat here but it was my ex’s, i thought thats what she was upset about, but then she said no, it was because i said “yeah, we used to-“. She was upset about the “we” part, she thought i was still categorizing my ex with me as a we, like ew i just get ick even writing that. That person abused me mentally, physically, emotionally, and financially. I know everyone says there ex’s are narcissists, sociopaths, all that..but i really fucking lived it. I have been traumatized through that whole experience, and all i felt in that relationship was STUCK. Honestly i can go on, and i was about to but its not even the point, i just cant stress how blessed and happy i feel every day to have escaped that situation, yeah escaped. I had my mom come rescue me across the states..had donations set up to help. When I met my gf i was still in the middle of the divorce, still retraumatizing myself for evidence (yet i never sued because i didnt have the money nor mental capacity..) and she was there for it a little, but even as friends i couldnt talk to her about it, because she never wanted to hear about it, and it would upset her..she had feelings for me fairly quickly so she just didn’t really listen to me about it..for a while i had grown resentful because i was always curious about her past relationships so i know how to better care and love her, understand her wounds. Whenever she brought them up i NEVER complained. For a while she was convinced i still loved my ex, which would frustrate me leading me to confess about my resentment. Down the line of our relationship i eventually got the chance to speak about it, and she had seen videos of the verbal abuse, and physical photos. Im not even sure if she had seen the bruises photos tbh /: im too scared to ask. I know i still need to go to therapy to deal with the trauma i dealt with, that was 3 years of confusing pain. Anyway, she knows all of that and saw it, she even heard this fucked up voicemail of hers. So idk i get caught off guard when she thinks i’d still have something for someone like that, she saw so much of the trauma.
Dude all of this was so long..i got a little off track, its just how my mind works, it goes into depth about so many fucking things. Im just trying to keep it together and understand it all. Anyway..
I meant we as in me and my family here in the house, we had a cat living here at one point. I tried explaining this to her and she started behaving as if she didn’t believe me..i started to panic because a few months ago something like this happened where she believed i had sex with someone, and she fell into this delusion so deeply that she truly believed it, even though this was a close friend of mine who was married and she went through all our messages and her “evidence” was me telling her i love you for giving me makeup ideas to buy my gf a birthday gift and she was into all the new trends and fads so i asked her, i do love all my friends and this friend of mine had helped me so much through my previous relationship and even came out here with her bestfriend to hangout because my dog passed away, she also just happened to be in town because she lives 4 hours away, and was staying in a neighboring city next to our town, so she wanted to cheer me up. This was a genuine friend who NEVER romanticized me or showed any sign of interest besides friendship..i tend to struggle with friendships because they end up falling for me idk, i dint want to sound like im full of myself because i dont even understand why..anyway, I let my gf call my friend because she asked, and my friend spoke about her husband and my gf started screaming at her all these bad words and hungup and she stormed out the house in the middle of an episode, and she disappeared on the 30th of december and i fucking fell apart, she went missing for 5 days , i thought she fucking killed herself cuz her phone went off the next morning at 11am . Her last words to me were “ i hate you dont come looking for me dont contact me leave me tf alone how could you do this to me fuck you” and she sped off in her car . I cried all new years eve. I didnt eat all those days she was gone, i almost lost my job because i abruptly left, i couldn’t work because i worked near ICU cleaning the patients room and seeing all the dying patients triggered so much pain and fear and worry. She was reported missing, we had helicopters looking all over the mountains and her phone remained off all those days. We found her car at a hospital but they told us she had been discharged the next day december 31, and walked off, (they had to lie) it had been 2 days since that day, so where did she walk to . Police finally got info and she was traced to this mental hospital 3 hours away. Her mom called me and warned me to prepare because she was saying hurtful things, and yeah, when she called she was still in the middle of her episode..it was really hard and i cant imagine how she fucking felt. What she was going through to make her burst this way..in november we ran into this guy who assaulted her years ago and is the reason she was put in a dangerous situation and has so much trauma (gang related) which triggered this mental breakdown when we left the scene, and the following month, one of her bestfriends passed away..she had ignored this friend so she carried guilt /: then on Christmas she went through my phone and saw a status i had made days before talking about something i did to my exs chapsticks before i had escaped. I thought it was a funny thing to share but alas, i am an idiot. I know I shouldn’t have made such a stupid post about somebody who doesn’t matter. I realized how wrong i was when i saw how much it upset her..i still feel like a moron about it to this day, i know that was so unacceptable.. and then lead the complete breakdown on the 30th..i was just scared all of this was going to happen again so i kept blabbering things, but it’s like im trying too hard to control things and keep them from getting out of hand from before that i almost sound so fucking phoney…and all this lead me to these thoughts that have been brewing about my childhood trauma, like some deep wounded shit. I am such an emotional person but at the same time, im very detached from my emotions. I detach to better handle situations level headed but then i start panicking and get lost in emotions..
This can honestly go on forever, i swear we experience lifetimes with one another.
Man im tired, im gonna type the rest later..it gets even deeper man idk. Idk if ill ever get to write it. I guess i’ll see.
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wehatejulietsimms · 3 years
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A/N: i'm gonna respond to this in sections bc it's quite long so bare with me.
Howdy y’all, 🤠 again. Yes, I didn’t in fact die. I’m sorry though that I kept getting sidetracked and couldn’t submit this until now, my boss decided to keep dumping her work into my lap. So I just wanna preface this by stating that I’m going to try and say what I want to as coherent as possible, but I have pretty severe ADHD so I’m not always as easy to understand as I think I am in my head, and I often go off on tangents, over explain things and circle back to topics randomly without realizing. Im basically going to go over their relationship over the years as I said previously (I’m not gonna go into detail about every single scandal and shitty thing Juliet did over the years, because we’d be here all year. so I figure I won’t cover them here, but rather let people ask specific questions if they want to. Remember, I was present for pretty much everything so feel free to ask.😊), but I’m also going to do kind of a mini deep dive into Andy’s behavior and actions (because although the snakes will hit you with every excuse in the book, and tell you that you’re looking too far into things and that it doesn’t matter, it does. The way a person acts in general and towards people around them is very relevant when talking about someone’s health, happiness, and well-being.) To start off, let’s take it all the way back to the time before Juliet’s reign of terror, when Andy and Scout were still together. In all honesty from what I saw of them together (and I saw pretty much everything they posted, I’m only a year younger than Andy, and I was quite into him when he was on MySpace and such, and I always watched anything with him and Scout together because they were fucking adorable lol) they had a really healthy relationship. Not once did I get weird vibes from them. The way Andy acted toward and with Scout, you could tell they really loved each other and were happy together. They had nothing to prove. It just was normal. (For any of you who are younger, or didn’t come into the picture until Andy was already post-scout and would like to see some videos of them together, you could generally search on YouTube for it, but also there’s a specific channel on there called like bring the milk tea or something that has videos of old Andy blogs and also Andy and scout on stickam and such. Worth a look if you’re curious) They weren’t constantly all over each other like possessive pack dogs *ahem Juliet ahem* and whenever Andy mentioned scout he didn’t need to shower her in compliments. They both seemed very secure in both themselves and the relationship. Super cute. Initially when they broke up it seemed quite odd. I didn’t really expect it. It got even weirder when he states that he and Juliet are together. It didn’t feel like they fit together at all (and no I’m not talking about from a fame or success perspective. At least not yet lol) As I’ve said I got bad vibes from Juliet right from the get go. Andy already seemed to be acting not like himself. (Also snakeys have argued that it’s just that he’s more mature now and that’s why he acts nervous and constantly looks Ike he wants to die. 🙄 maturity doesn’t mean losing your fucking personality and being unhappy most of the time. Jesus Christ.) it seemed like they got possessive of each other and constantly needed to show people how in love they were. Pictures, videos, and fucking public love paragraphs to show they are, in fact, in a super real relationship and they love each other. It also felt like Andy’s family was in on this whole weird charade.They (Chris honestly) started to defend her degenerate behavior and attack anyone who had even a whisper of negative things to say about her or their relationship. It was like watching a group of awkward, pretty mediocre actors put on a play about them being together. (I’ve hit the text limit now, but there will be more that I will write just after I submit this one though, fear not haha. N, you can either post this now or wait until I submit the rest, it’s up to you.) 1 / ? -🤠
A/N: i was here for a lot of it as well so i do remember some of this. although i did join the fandom shortly after him and juliet got together (i joined like around the time she was on the voice) i literally remember hoping that him and scout would get back together bc juliet just rubbed me the wrong way and i didn't know why at the time. & side note i actually do recommend people go look at old videos of andy and scout they were really adorable. there is this one video of them singing (i think a carrie underwood song lol) in the car and it's really cute. but yeah just bc he's older doesn't mean his whole entire personality changes. you can be any age and act however you want. i could even use jenna marbles & julien solomita (a youtube couple) as an example, they've been together for i think like 8 or 9 years and are about the same age as A&J (julien being around andy's age & jenna around juliet's age) & although they can have mature adult conversations and all of that, they still act like idiots and joke around together. neither of them look uncomfortable or are afraid of saying certain things like andy is around juliet. so andy aging doesn't mean shit in regards to his personality doing a 180.
🤠okay, so part two here we go. (Also I apologize if I get the chronological order of anything I talk about incorrect, I’m a bit scattered sometimes and the next ask I make will be the one where I talk about the domestic abuse and I tend to get quite heated, which only makes my brain function worse lol) so the point at which Andy was trying to get fans to go vote for/ support Juliet when she was on the voice seemed really fishy. I’m all for supporting the work of the people you love, but it’s kinda strange how hard Andy was pushing this at the time. Too hard in my opinion. I’m obviously aware that it was helpful in the end and he more or less got what he was asking for. But it was like he absolutely needed people to vote for her. As if he would get in trouble if they didn’t. So around 2012 or 2013 it felt like things really went down the shitter from there and just got progressively worse. (I never knew why for the longest time, but after they revealed that Vegas wedding that happened in about that time frame, it made a lot of sense.) Andy’s behavior began to change towards his fans. There are a lot of accounts of this happening from fans themselves and a lot of people said that 1. It was worse with Juliet around, and 2. a lot of the time it would happen towards females especially. ( I think more towards the “pretty” fans but don’t count me on that, I don’t know for sure.) This was completely night and day. Especially coming from the same man who used to always defend his fans and once stated something along the lines of he would never have a crazy or awkward fan story because he loves and is grateful for all of his fans and he won’t get upset if they’re just really excited. I would understand if these fans crossed the line in some way (like the later incident of fans finding his address and harassing them, which is unacceptable no matter who the people are) but from most if not all of the fan stories I’ve heard, they didn’t. They were being respectful and didn’t do anything to warrant this happening to them besides showing up. Which brings me to my next point, a lot of these negative experiences were caused by Juliet. Either she was the one being mean to people, she was causing Andy to be mean to people on her behalf, or her presence was upsetting Andy to the point that he was angry and started being rude and irritable. What scares me the most are the accounts of Andy having a whole Jekyll and Hyde thing, depending on weather or not Juliet was present. Happy when he’s free of her and miserable when he isn’t. In videos of him where Juliet is behind the camera he always seems nervous and strange. Like he’s afraid to mess up. That’s fucking alarming to say the least. You would think that the last thing one would want to do if another person brings them this much anger, stress, and anxiety, the LAST thing they would want to do is fucking marry them. Right? He literally started barely smiling at one point and really doesn’t anymore. I mean for Christ’s sake look at his wedding photos. What’s suppose to be one of the happiest moments of your life and to quote another anon with a different ask, he looks like he’s being dragged to the gallows. (And I get really fucking Angry honestly when snakeys tries to pass it off as “oh he’s awkward he doesn’t know how to smile” or “omg he’s being dramatic for the aesthetics” in some pictures, yes. But why the fuck would you look like that in pictures with the “love of your life” who you now regularly write cringy paragraphs publicly professing your love and complete adoration for? Andy knows how to smile genuinely. Ffs he used to. He smiled genuinely when he was a kid, he smiled genuinely with scout, and he smiled genuinely when Juliet wasn’t around. He doesn’t smile when she is there, and if he does, it is pretty much always visibly fake.) So I may backtrack a little later, but right now I want to talk about the fact that Juliet IS an abuser. More specifically, the plane incident. (Word limit. TBC.) 2 / ? -🤠
A/N: yes. 100%. when it comes to the wedding photos i will never understand people (specifically snakeys) writing off his behavior as him "just being dramatic for the aesthetics". is that something he would do in photoshoots? yeah. is it something he may do on stage? sure. something he would do in an interview? maybe. but candid shots of him on one of the "happiest days of his life"? wtf no. & idk why people think that.
🤠 Just before I start, again, with the pictures, I really don’t think that Andy is enough of a self absorbed egotistical dick that he would actually sit there and put on the whole “miserable tough guy” act in every fucking photo he takes. Ah yes, the infamous plane incident. So straight up, Juliet exposed herself as an abuser, and brought out every bullshit excuse in the book (and made Andy go along with them) to try to cover it up. 1. She was drunk. Honestly this is total bullshit. I say this same thing when people defend cheating or any other degenerate behavior with the excuse of intoxication and I will say it now. Being drunk does not make you a different fucking person. It does not change the thoughts in your head. What it does do is impair your ability to make decisions and judgement skills in general. It’s the same reason why people drive drunk. It’s routine. Its what they would normally do. And because they’re drunk, they can’t see any reason why they shouldn’t do that. Juliet gets drunk, she and Andy fight, she wants to hit him, and because she’s drunk she doesn’t think that she shouldn’t fucking put her hands on him. 2. She hit him in “self defense” and he broke her ribs.(There’s several points I have debunking this) first of all let’s get this out of the way, no one on that plane (including the very real witness who just so happened to be an adult film actress (I think?) who you so love to discount because of it) saw him strike her or even touch her at any time. Two, you are in fucking airplane seats sitting right the fuck next to each other with an armrest in between. It would be pretty fucking hard to break your ribs unless they were made of actual glass, or Andy’s real name is Bruce fucking banner. Bones are surprisingly strong and I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that it’d be damn near impossible for him to do that to you, which brings me to three, if he had broken your ribs you would not be fucking standing up, thrashing around, whining like a little bitch, and oh by the way, continuing to abuse your husband for the second time on that flight. Four, you had a miscarriage. (When I was trying to conceive with my husband it was very difficult. I had two miscarriages before I finally had my son. I’m fully aware of how devastating having one is.) which is why if you are not lying (which I fully believe that Juliet would stoop that low just to get sympathy, especially with this big of a scandal. But I don’t actually have proof of this so I will say that it is just speculation on my part) I don’t fucking care. I am not unsympathetic to her if this did actually happen as I said, however, You do not get to make any excuse for putting your hands on another person out of anger. Ever. I don’t care who you are, I don’t care what kind of stress you are under, I don’t care if you are inebriated in any way and I sure as hell don’t care what the fuck you have between your legs. You do not hurt anyone. Point blank period. Five. You are a woman, you can’t hurt him. This one, actually enrages me. We all know your crusty ass pulled this one out (and threw around trump supporters a few times for good measure) because you know damn well how society and the media views and deals with abusive women. Women can abuse. Women who are shorter or weaker than their target can abuse. The fact that there are people who either don’t know that or don’t agree with that is absolutely baffling. Six. The same (I believe) porn actress. Literally saw you beating your own face with the restraints you had to be put in (which by the way flight attendants only ever use restraints as an absolute last resort when someone becomes a danger to the others on board, so she had to be acting absolutely deranged) to give yourself a bloody nose to claim Andy hit you. Then you proceed to act like a child and tell Andy to call your fucking dad. (Which kinda proves that whole Scientology thing honestly) what in the hell. I stg as long as I am breathing I will never let this go. This is actual fucking domestic abuse. (Word limit TBC.) 3 / ? -🤠
A/N: yeah her hitting him "bc she was drunk" was never a good excuse not only for the reasons you mentioned but, also bc let's be real at no point are you ever going to get served enough alcohol on a plane to make you that drunk i don't care what anyone says. also when it comes to the excuse of him "breaking her ribs" does she forget that andy actually did break his ribs a while ago? i think she even visited him when he was recovering so she should know what kind of pain he was in. & if he actually broke her ribs, there's no way she would have even been able to stand bc i know andy sure wasn't able to. he said it was one of the most painful things he's experienced. (i don't think i need to comment on the rest of this. it would just be redundant. you hit the nail on the head with that.)
🤠 I don’t care if it happened just that one time ore more likely is an everyday occurrence. Abuse is abuse and should never be tolerated. Kind of getting away from the plane thing. Andy always seems, as it’s been said on here before, afraid to mess up. Like he might mess up, and make her mad. A common behavioral pattern in abuse victims. He also at this point and for a decent amount of time before, doesn’t seem like he loves her anymore. Like he keeps up appearances and pretends, but it’s like it’s a job he’s forced to do. He’s tired and burnt out but was probably manipulated into staying and juliet is probably clinging for dear life. Also I don’t know if I’m the only one who thinks this, but I swear, the veganism and sobering up was just a cover up, most likely formed by either Juliet herself or her fucked up family, after the plane incident to hide their tracks and regain some public favor (because you know, if you advocate for animal rights then you can’t abuse your husband 🙃) Andy never gave a shit before though. Even though it was unhealthy he loved to drink and smoke and was very outspoken about that. And he used to never give a fuck about eating meat or consuming animal products like leather. I mean they’re still selling leather goods ffs. I would get having minor fuck ups because you don’t know any better, but it’s fucking leather. And now Andy is unhealthy and miserable as ever, but the culprit is malnourishment and Juliet rather than cigs, alcohol, and Juliet. My final thoughts: I do definitely believe in the Scientology theory, but if not that than I definitely believe that Andy was and is being manipulated for his fame. On several occasions it really looked like they broke up, including the time when they did, and then said it was a joke. It really doesn’t feel normal. Also, Juliet doesn’t really care about Andy that much. She never wears her wedding ring, she sells all their shit, including sentimental items, and now that she’s gained more popularity from being with him, suddenly doesn’t want to put him in her bio or write him the same creepy ass paragraphs or anything. It’s fucked up how shes so keen to say she did it all herself when really she’s been riding dick for fame since before she even met Andy. It also always kinda seemed to me that Amy was kind of uncomfortable around Juliet. We all know that Chris loves to kiss her ass night and day (most likely to do with the Scientology thing “if” it’s true), but Juliet and Amy always seemed to have a weird relationship like it was tense and forced. Also I just want to mention the time that Juliet talked about screaming at the woman over what I believe was a game night and brushed it off as being competitive and no one gave damn. Fucked up. To finish off this already way too long little series, I think Andy is a very vulnerable insecure person who got manipulated by several people (not just Juliet) some of whom he probably really trusted, and they helped to get him in Juliet’s (equally if not more insecure) hands so she could hurt him as she pleases. I truly hope that even now both he, and his parents (even though Chris really grinds my gears) can get out of this whole shit show, relatively unscathed. I know this is probably pretty unlikely, but hope springs eternal I guess. As I said feel free to ask any questions you may have and I will try to answer them best I can. Thank you for reading. 4 / 4 -🤠
A/N: yet again you hit the nail on the head with this part so i don't need to comment too much. other than the fact that i do agree that juliet and amy's relationship does seem weird.
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theyarebothgunshot · 3 years
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ROSE I AM FREAKING OUT HAVE YOU SEEN THE PREQUEL STUFF???? WHAT IS GOING ON, my god... I was literally about to go to sleep, decided to check Tumblr one last time and see this.... what WHAT!! WHATTTT!!!!!! I don't even know if this is good bad or what but just JENSEN IS PRODUCING A SUPERNATURAL PREQUEL AND DEAN'S GONNA BE THE NARRATOR OR Sth LIKE???? -🐸
YEAH i am normal about this <3 (jk i am also freaking out) welcome to: people screaming to me in my inbox about prequelgate ft. j/2 fallout theory. let's goooo!
Another copypasta and suddenly chaos machine is full on gay I love this prophecy
you know whats funny i just checked the j/2 tag and i feel like for the first time in a long time they are starting to realise that maybe THEY should be the ones who are "gutted" *sips tea*
ROSE HOLY SHIT ROOOOOOOOSE ITS HAPPENING HOLY SHIIIIIT
YEAH
Nevermind just read prequel and well good luck I guess but just you know kind of bleh who wants to watch John Winchester well let’s have hope anyways
i know a lot of people are bummed out but i am kind of very excited actually?? i trust robbie and even though yeah j*hn winchester turned into a nasty abusive bastard, it can be interesting to explore how it all started (imo). it's just the first of many stories they can tell.
I can only accept this circus if it’s Dean telling the stories to his and Cas’ kids and then we have a revival to show that the whole finale was in fact the end Chuck wanted there Jensen I fixed it
i would not say no to this
heyloo bee anon here
um- wtf is happening?
jackles prequel series?? why? i want to be excited about this but sheesh im scared
because supernatural is never dead <3
okay, but, jensen... john winchester ≠ jdm, you don’t have to go /that/ hard for him 🙃
true true... though i am waiting for jdm to comment on this, please i need it
WAIT A SECOND J2 FALLOUT THEORY TRUE??
LMAO HELL YEAH BESTIE
Rose you really picked the worst time to sleep for real
bestie it was literally 4 in the morning, what do you expect from me sdfjsfhsf
I can’t literally can’t we were all right LMAO j2 fallout theory is real and cockles (Misha supporting Jensen) is [gunshots] I’m just laughing cause what the hell is this timeline we’re living LMAOOOOOOOOOO
we would always end up here <3
Do we have the copypaste anons to thank for JP basically confirming the J2 fallout? lol 🦚
yes, everybody say 'thanks annoying idiots!'
ROSE, WAKE UP, COME HERE,
THERE'S A LOT GOING ON FFS
YEAH I KNOW BUT I NEEDED SLEEP
Anticipating that there's going to be a lot of yelling about the prequel on here: I am cackling, but also, I mean, the first time Dean got a look into his parent's past, Cas was the catalyst: literally entered Dean's mind and catapulted him to the 70s. So idk, it's not completely unreasonable to expect some Cas cameos, maybe setting up a parallel timeline since Dean is narrating. What I'm saying is, this is Jackles, he's getting JDM and Misha in on this lmao -Honeymoon Anon
you were right lmfaooo also i fully agree. misha's tweet further cemented that thought for me. he knew about this prequel and i dont think he is cas-baiting us, i think he'll be involved. i'd also be obsessed to see jensen and jdm act together again (though idk who jdm could play seeing as it's a prequel and he is way too old to play young j*hn)
longlivethetribbles heeft gevraagd:
Heyyyyyy bestie, are you SEEING the absolute madness going on right now holy shit
well a little late but I SURE AM BESTIE
bestie wake up pls s16 finale just dropped.
- 🍯
and WHAT a great one it was
I love coming home from work to see all of the chaos unfolding on Tumblr and Twitter. I'm absolutely buzzing right now. I'll probably still be here by the time you wake up and check tumblr 😂 - 🐢
lmaooo and were you still awake?? did you see my freak out??
Oooh bestie wake the fuck up, I know you’re gonna be excited for this one jsnsjsj
god i had SUCH a morning like. it's 12:00 now and all i did since i woke up is check tumblr rip
short summary: jen and dee gain the rights, they post on ig/twitter about a prequel ft john and mary that no one asked for, the fandom loses its everloving shit as usual, they trend on twitter thanks to the beloved twt intern who missed us, misha qt’s jen about cas possibly benefiting from being in the prequel, then j*red qt’s jensen abt how his feelings got hurt by him not being told about a prequel his character as no involvement in & he initially throws a tantrum, and the rest is history - 🦋 anon (ps: i hope this helps a little, i’ve been scattered brained trying to keep up with it all night lmao so pls let me know if i missed anything, bug crew !!)
thank you so much darling i figured it out eventually but this is a helpful summary!!!
I hope you enjoyed waking up to all of this XD -🐢
i sure did!!! also that answers my question about you being awake lmao
I WILL NEVER EVER EVER FORGIVE MYSELF FOR SLEEPING THROUGH ALL OF THIS DRAMA AND NOT EXPERIENCING IT IN PERSON I DIDN'T NEED THIS SLEEP - tea anon
well the party was still going strong this morning so im not TOO "gutted" see what i did there lmaooo
Now that you are caught up with the news... So idk if you remember this but...didn't jarpad tell jackles he was up for a reboot in an online panel? And jackles answered that this was news to him??
-🍯
yeah i think you are right but he was clearly joking and didnt expect jackles to actually be working on something already
J2 anon spare more of those anons let's finish this - tea anon
please, we're having a ball in this bitch
I saw a post on tumblr where someone said now that Kripke gave J&D the rights, maybe they’re starting with a prequel just to end on a reboot in years time and honestly ? I wanna believe that so badly. This is tinhatty but what if this is all calculated in a way that makes it so that Jensen is slowly starting to fix everything that was wrong with spn - now that he has the rights and he’s slowly making spn his own story ?! I mean he did say in his ig post he wants to ‘fill in the rest’ - and maybe Mary and John’s story is only the beginning of spn related content from J&D to come ??? Maybe he wants to give spn the justice it deserves ?? Thoughts ??
i dont think this is tinhatty at all i think this is very possible and not that much of a reach. i could see this happening yeah for sure
want to hear something funny. I found out I had a ruptured blood vessel in my eye because I was sending my friend a video freaking out when the prequel news dropped and I noticed the corner of my eye was red af. and when I got back online jared had tweeted.
DJFHSJD ANON THE CHAOS OF IT ALL, HELP, are you okay? <3
rose.. bestie... how are you feeling about The News? nsfshsf being european is a curse </3 🐞
i feel GREAT im living for it i feel on top of the world tbh (and yeah it really is dsjfhs)
What am I waking up to I can't WHAT I rested my eyes for like 5 minutes help *hits reblog button* - anon anon
yep yep essentially djfhs
“Jensen and Misha are Co workers who barley talk”
I can’t be sure of course but I’m fairly certain that this is the copypasta that brought the j/2 fallout theory back to life. Who’s apparently ‘barely talking’ now? skansjsjsj. It’s almost prophetic, these j/2 anons have superpowers I’m telling ya.
-poker face anon
next time we get one of them we should be thanking them lmaooo
ok, but are we gonna talk about the "When Daneel and I formed Chaos Machine Productions, we knew that the first story we wanted to tell was the story of John and Mary Winchester [...]"-quote because the way this is phrased implies they formed CHAOS MACHINE Productions with the intent of telling this story (first), i haven't been in this dumpster long enough but the name just tickles me in that Misha way, isn't it so sus??? am i missing something???? i mean with this announcement they SURE lived up to that name... 🧩-anon
you are absolutely right, chaos machine SCREAMS misha and we are all here for it!!
hey hey hey. joining the clownverse, there's no way THEE cas girl danneel doesn't know just how much the fandom loves misha and cas. so 2 + 2 = misha in the spn prequel!
AGREED
So I think I finally managed to catch up on wtf happened while I was asleep and my brain melted. What a shit show to wake up to.
Anyway thoughts.
I don't hate the idea of a Mary&John sequel. I think it has the potential to be good (It has the potential to be really bad too, so I'm kind scared).
🕯️🕯️🕯️ manifesting Mary being badass and John being kinda useless🕯️🕯️🕯️
As for the Jensen and J*red thing.
I can see Jensen not telling J*red even if they are still friends, because J*red is kinda good at accidentally telling Secrets. He could have told him right before he announced it so, so that J*red didn't have to find out from twitter. He was on the show for 15 years, he is bound to get asked about it. The public twitter meltdown was really unprofessional so. Like you have Jensen's number J*red. You could have sorted that out in private like a normal person, but instead you choose to act like a toddler throwing a tantrum.
Is it weird that I'm actually going to be kinda that for them if the actually had a falling out, even tho I don't like J*red all that much. They seemed to be really important to each other and while I thought before that the might have triefted apart a bit, I didn't think that the where actively fighting.
- 🐌 anon
the thing is, the polite/normal thing for jensen to do was text him before announcing it on twitter. it's weird he didn't, and that makes me believe that maybe yeah they did have a falling out. especially with the way j*red responded to it on twitter. if he had no other reason to be this upset (no prior beef or falling out) you'd think that he wouldn't be responding like this. on the other hand, the man is a mysterie to me so who the hell knows. i'm not gonna mourn about it if they did/do grow apart because j*red is just.... awful imo.
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Text
rant
literally have no one I wanna tell this to rn so im gonna rant on here 
i kinda think i have a crush on my girl bestf and it’s so weird to me bcs it’s the first time im consciously acknowledging a girl crush bcs  ✨internalised homophobia ✨ and idk what my s3xuality is but im pretty sure i like her and it’s not like i wanna date her so it shouldnt be a problem and anyways shes dating a guy rn and shes not exactly straight but like ahhh. she, my other friend and i usually hang out together so it’s usually us talking and i felt like i wasnt contributing enough to the convo bcs they were talking about people they liked and she was talking about her then-crush now-boyf and so i was like hmm maybe i should say i have a crush on someone (bcs i do!) but not tell them who so i can yk get advice or their opinions or whatever but i didnt think too hard about the fact that theyd actually be interested in knowing who i liked. and so she ended up getting upset because she thought i wasnt sharing enough and bcs i dont tell them anything, which isnt true but it’s fair and ugh idk, and there was a stupid mini-fight/argument/misunderstanding today and it’s like maybe the 3rd fight we’ve had in like 2-3 years of friendship cux we really dont fight. and that basically led her to talk about the whole person i told them i had a crush on but never said their name. which, like, i defended my decision with stupid-a$$ excuses but like ugh wtf do i do i keep digging myself deeper into this hole and it’s not like shes homophobic or any of that bs bcs like all of us are not really straight and theyre so chill about it too idk why i have SO MUCH internalised homophobia but it sucks and theres literally no one i can talk to about this and i really dont wanna ruin our friendship but at this point it feels like if i dont stay away from her im gonna lose her. i think she’d figure out if i started talking about oh i have a crush on this girl and thats why i didnt wanna say who and all the eXcUsEs im giving are sorta true but i dont want her to think im a liar bcs i hate liars sm and id never want her to think im one. i hope that makes sense idk im sry 
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keytomythoughts · 3 years
Text
Perfection Imperfections | Chapter 1
Tumblr media
Chapter Index 
»»—————————————- 
Finally, summer break. It’s been a while since I was able to go home. Having to attend high school rather far from my home in Seoul, I never thought that I’d adjust to the new environment. Fortunately, I wasn’t entirely alone, since I stayed with my aunt for the four years of my high school life. School wasn’t so bad, but the homesickness is what killed it for me. Even though it was my parents' idea to send me a rather vast distance—me not being too excited about it, but I knew I wouldn’t get my way in the end—there was some good that came from it. The two only good things, actually. 
I glance outside the train window, the buildings of Busan zooming past me. Sure, it may not be my home, but I won’t lie. I’m really going to miss this place. My phone suddenly vibrates in my lap, glancing down to see a text from my group chat, smiling as I respond.
(Binnie)
R u still on the train?
                                                               Yeah have been for the past like 30 mins
(Eunuwu) 
Going back to ur parents? Or r u moving out?
                                                                                                                      Funny
                                                                        Yk I can’t move out, at least not on                                                                            my own. My parents won’t allow it
(Binnie)
:/
What about Jaehyun?
                                                                            Idk, they rlly dc what he does tbh
                                                                       They’re just hell-bent on me getting                                                                                    into the top schools and shit
(Eunuwu)
Damn, rough
                                                                                                                        Mhm
(Binnie)
Try talking to them, u never know
They might change their minds?
                                                                 Nah, I already know how it’s gonna end
                                                                         Me crying and stuffing myself with                                                                           pints of ice cream
(Eunuwu)
Doesn't sound so bad
(Binnie)
¬_¬
(Eunuwu)
Except for the crying part ofc
But c’mon it cant really be THAT bad
I’ve been over plenty of times, they seem nice
(Binnie)
U’ve been to her house??
                                                                         Yeah him and oppa are friends too
(Binnie)
Righttt forgot lol
                                                                  And that’s bc you were there dumbass                                                                    and half of the time ur either in oppa’s                                                                    room or out somewhere
                                                                  Interaction with my parents = minimal
(Binnie)
That sounds awful ngl :( sorry Hyuna
But hey we should all hang soon!
(Eunuwu)
I’ll be in Seoul for the summer too so y not?
                                                                                                           I miss y’all :’(
                                                                   Ok I should be there around like 5 ish                                                                     so I’ll text then
(Binnie)
Aww I miss u toooo 
(Eunuwu)
*puke*
                                                                                           Shut up, ur just jealous
(Eunuwu)
Me? Jealous?? Of what, ur face?
Yea no thx, Ive got a great face already
And personality 0:)
                                                                               Gr8, explains why ur still single
(Binnie)
LOLL
She got u there bro
(Eunuwu)
Shut up
Ur talking as if u’ve got a gf
Idiot
(Binnie)
At least I didnt reject them as coldly as u did lol 
                                                                                             See? My point exactly
                                                                               Your fAcE scared off every girl                                                                                   in sight bc of tht pErSoNaLiTy
                                                                           I almost feel bad for them, u little                                                                             heart breaker
(Binnie)
He made a couple of em cry I heard
                                                                                                                     Rlly?!?
                                                                                                                         YAH
                                                                                                               U MORON
(Eunuwu)
Bin wtf
(Binnie)
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
                                                                                    U JERK HOW COULD U??
                                                                                              Those poor girls omg
                                                                               Im so kicking ur ass when I c u
(Binnie)
Me 2
(Eunuwu)
Wtf?? Y???
(Binnie)
No reason lol, just feel like it
                                                                                         And this is why ily Binnie
(Binnie)
:D <3
(Eunuwu)
GROSS
                                                                                                        Can it u demon
                                                                                                         Read 4:02 PM
I snort, turning off my phone and placing it back down on my lap as I go back to staring outside my left-hand window again. Meet Cha Eunwoo and Moon Bin, my two best friends. The only reason I got through high school how I did without major setbacks. Sure, there was the occasional homesickness and all, but had I not met these two, I probably wouldn’t have even attended and graduated. 
Being so far away from the place I grew up never really suited me, and they saw it right away from day one how lonely and upset I looked. I didn't seem to fit in, especially since I skipped a grade and was placed in classes that were very advanced for me. Not that I minded the vigor, but it was hard for me to socialize, let alone make friends. 
That’s when I met them. Freshman year in homeroom before my first literature class. Moon Bin, a boy with parted, coppery-golden hair accompanied by his shy, puppy-eye smile and sweet nature, offered me an empty seat next to him in class, even going as far as to share his textbook and asking how I found the school. No doubt, I was embarrassed and immensely shy, stuttering over my words and failing to meet his soft gaze. However, he didn’t make fun of me nor find me odd. All he did was smile, laughing lightly at my slightly flustered state. He stuck his hand out, introducing himself (most people just call him Moonbin or Bin) with that smile of his, thus the start of our new friendship. Since then, he became someone who always knew how to cheer me up when I was feeling down. No moment was ever dull with him by my side. 
Eunwoo, the tall, brooding black-haired and charismatic student almost everyone knew (and crushed on) of, was usually with Moonbin when we hung out together, but he normally kept to himself. Though quiet and sometimes reserved with his intimidating looks, it didn’t take long for him to break the ice with us, the three of us becoming close friends. Promising to stay like this until we went to college and beyond. Regardless if we all diverge and tread different paths, we would always converge and come back to one another. 
Four years flew by and graduation was upon us. Just like that, the two became like family to me, my ride-or-die duo. The two who were able to turn my world upside down, finding solace in a time where I thought it was nearly impossible for me to.  
My thoughts are interrupted by my “Move” ringtone—yes, I’m a huge Lee Taemin fan—looking down at my phone again to see it’s my brother calling. I sigh, picking up the call.
“What?” 
He gasps dramatically. “Is that any way to address your loving older brother after being away for so long?”
I snort, shaking my head. “Loving my ass, oppa. How are mom and dad?”
“They’re fine, living. Didn’t you tell them you’re coming home?”
“Nope, I don’t even text them that often. You already know this..”
He sighs. “Yeah, I figured.” 
There’s a slight pause on his end, but he continues. “You took the three-thirty train, right? So you’ll be here around five or so?”
“Yeah, give or take.” 
I look out the window again to see the endless stretch of greenery and flowing springs, sometimes even children playing in the fields. I grin mischievously, deciding to poke fun at my brother when he doesn’t respond right away. 
“What, you miss me?”
He makes a sound similar to throwing up. “As if. I got so used to the peace and quiet. I’m not ready for it to go away.” 
“Yah!” I realize that I had yelled a bit too loudly and eyes were now trained on me, and I bow my head in apology. I lower my voice, “You’re such an asshole.”
“Oh, I know, but you still love me anyway.”
“Shut up.”
I can hear his laugh resonate through the phone and a smile unknowingly tugs at my lips. I wouldn’t say it out loud, but it’s true. When I lived with my aunt in Busan for the duration of high school, I missed Jaehyun a lot. Though two years older than me, he didn’t seem to alienate me the way my parents do. While I hate the notion that they spoil Jaehyun endlessly and let him do as he wishes, I won’t lie and say that he was a prick about it. He could’ve been, but he never came off as selfish. I’m really close with my brother, shocking as it may be. Sibling relationships are like that—one minute you want to strangle them with their intestines and the next you’re singing duets together. Crazy, but that’s how it is for us. My parents don’t really pay me any attention, so Jaehyun decides to do that instead. Not complaining though. I’d rather take his pranking and teasing over my parents’ demands and reprimands any day.
“Aight, I’m heading out for a bit. Text me when you arrive.”
I smile again. “Will do, but make sure to get me food!”
“Let me think…” He hums, and I can practically sense the smirk on his end. “Nope. Get your own.”
“Oppa!”
Jaehyun laughs. “See you in a bit, Hyuna. Get here safely. Bye!”   
He hangs up the call before I get a chance to retort, and I scoff. Typical of my brother. He knows how much I enjoy street food, and every time he goes out, it’s almost certain that most of the time he stops somewhere to eat. Did he ever bring food back? Sure, but by the time I’d get to it, most of it was gone anyways. That only lasted a little while before I had gone upstate anyways, so he had more food for himself, I guess.
As the train barrels down the tracks, I feel my heart racing in excitement, but there’s also a slight ounce of dread. I really don’t know why. I want to believe it’s because I’ve been away for too long, but part of me knows it’s the fact that I’ll have to face my parents again. Knowing that I only have two months to decide where I wanted to go and what I wanted to do, I know the bitter truth is that those decisions won’t be left up to me. Last time, I was sent to Busan.
God knows where I’d be sent to now.
***
“Final destination of the KTX Busan-Seoul train at Seoul Station is approaching and will arrive at 05:30 PM. The doors to alight are on the right hand side. All passengers are requested to dismount the train upon arrival. Thank you.” 
That’s my stop.
Gathering my bag and hand luggage, I patiently wait for the train to pull up at the station. Seeing the familiar shops and buildings around me makes my legs bounce up and down in both excitement and anticipation. 
Four long years away from Seoul...
Before getting off, I quickly text the group chat and then my brother, letting them all know that I’ve reached safely. Side-stepping the other passengers exiting the subway doors, I carefully land onto the platform with my luggage in tow. I breathe in the air around as I stretch my arms up into the sky, the grin widening on my face.
It sure as hell feels good to be back home.
I try my best to maneuver through the crowds, but it doesn’t stop the rush of people knocking into me. At times like these, I curse my genetics for favoring my older brother instead of me in terms of height. Eventually, I come to a clearing and when my eyes glance upwards, I spot a rather familiar dark brown-haired six-foot-tall male amongst the small crowd waving me over.
“Hyuna, over here!”
I gasp, my eyes widening. “Oppa!”
He smiles as I begin walking towards him, my feet hurriedly moving across the concrete. The distance between us shortens and I abandon my luggage as he opens his arms wide. 
Only for me to sucker punch him in the stomach.
He yelps in pain, grimacing as he holds his abdomen. “Shit, that hurt. What has Aunt Sua been feeding you up there? Rocks?”
I smack his shoulder, my blood slightly boiling in anger. “Yah, why didn’t you tell me you were coming?! Do you know how much money I blew off for the bus fare?”
He straightens his back before going to rub his shoulder, then behind his neck.
“Fine, fine. My bad. I wanted to surprise you, but I guess that didn’t work, did it?” 
I cross my arms over my chest, huffing in annoyance. He sighs, nodding.
“Okay, okay, I’ll compensate you. Dinner’s on me.”
At this I grin, blinking excitedly. I grab onto his arm and shake it vigorously. “Really? You mean it? You’re the best, oppa!” 
“Look at this brat..” he taunts, shaking his head. In a flash, he headlocks me and rubs the top of my head harshly with his knuckles, upsetting the neatly-tied auburn ponytail. 
“Yah! Quit it!” I smack his arms and flail in protest, but he chuckles, saying this is what I get for cunningly finding a way to exploit him the minute I stepped back into Seoul. 
What can I say? It’s a talent. 
He lets go eventually, and I try to smooth down my already-tangled hair. I grumble incoherently but Jaehyun pulls me into his embrace, wrapping his arms around me. His free hand gently pats the side of my head in comfort.
“Welcome home, sis.”
I stand there stiff for a second before hugging back. He squeezes me tighter and I find myself smiling into his shoulder. 
“Good to be back,” I whisper. 
We stand like that for a moment before he pats my back a couple of times, us pulling away from each other soon after. He reaches behind me to grab my hand luggage as he shoulders my bag. I tell him that I can carry them just fine, but he starts walking away from the platform to the parking lot. I call out after him as I run to catch up, and I can see the corners of his mouth twitch. Jaehyun leads me to his car, a sleek matte-silver convertible Mustang. My mouth drops open in shock at its stunning beauty, my body forcing itself to remain composed for the sake of avoiding public self-embarrassment. 
He throws my luggage in the back seat before he turns to me, smirking at my expression. “You like it?”
“Shit, do I like it? I love it!” I run my fingers over its metallic surface, the silver exterior gleaming in the evening glow. Grinning, I stare up at my brother who catches my gaze as I stand next to the driver’s seat, my fingers already curled on the handle.
“Can I—”
“No.”
“Please—”
“Nope.”
I pout as I pull my hand away and step to the side. Jaehyun chuckles, rubbing my head playfully before getting into the driver’s seat and starting the car. The engine purrs to life as my brother pulls out his shades and wears them. He looks at me and cocks his head to the passenger seat. 
“Don’t just stand there. Get in.”
Smiling, I quickly make my way over to the other side and slip into the passenger seat. I barely have time to buckle in before Jaehyun speeds off. I scream in fright, but he laughs heartily, telling me to let loose.
With the wind harshly whipping around us, I close my eyes and tilt my head upwards, absorbing the remnants of my childhood in a place I’ll always call home. A place where my heart always feels at ease.
My name is Jung Hyuna. I’m eighteen years old, and this is my story.
Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 |  
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justsomefluff · 4 years
Note
hello!! i found your blog not so long ago and i already love it so much, i was wondering if (if your request are open) you could do an ateez reaction to their s/o crying/pouting because they(atz) got jealous and they were ignoring their s/o (almost like the hwa reaction to you dancing w/ another member) 🥺 i love your blog so much.. hope your staying safe!!! 🤍
Okay, my sweet anon, this ended up being shorter than I originally wrote it bc it got deleted last time but I think I hit all the important stuff anyway! Also, I appreciate the positivity and I hope you are staying safe as well! <3
Summary: Ateez gets jealous of your conversation with another member. During a group dinner. Since they are feeling neglected, they decide to give you a taste of your own medicine.
Hongjoong:
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Okay so Hongjoong is totally calm about his bitterness
Like he’s definitely staring daggers at whichever member you’re talking to
But other than throwing a dirty glance in their direction every once in a while
No one will even be able to notice that he’s remotely upset about anything
I think that he’s probably used to covering his emotions well since he’s the leader and he feels like he needs to be the most mature and stuff
That can lead him to being kind of reserved about his emotions though and that might bug some people
And so when you finally start giving him some attention
He’s gonna turn away from you and just flat out pretend he cant hear you
But when you finally get home at the end of the night and you’re sulking because he hasn’t said a word to you since before dinner
He starts to feel hella guilty
Like he never wants to hurt you but his jealousy really just took control of him that night for some reason
And if you’re making big, sad eyes at him and following him like a puppy as he does his nightly routine…
He’s done for
But I feel like once you actually start having a conversation, he’s very good at keeping it from turning into an argument
Good at “I feel” statements you know?
But both of you recover from this rather quickly and just make it up to each other by snuggling for the rest of the night
Seonghwa:
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So Seonghwa is the type to act normal enough that the guys won’t notice that anything is wrong
But you know him well enough to know that he’s being kind of cold to you for some reason
And if you notice he’s being super low-key rude to another member then you can kind of connect the dots and understand why he’s upset
He will never let any of the guys see his anger though
Mostly because he’s the oldest and he feels that responsibility to them to only show them his good side if he can help it
So he will talk to you, but only like one word at a time
And he’ll brush you off if you touch him
But he will disguise it by reaching for food or something
He’s good at this okay
But if you just keep staring at him and the guys notice enough to ask you what’s wrong, then he’ll tell you to fake it til you get home
And you do because you don’t want to upset him more yk
And when you get home though, you’re almost in tears bc hiding it like that was so exhausting and painful
When he sees you starting to break a little, then he’s hugging you
Like .5 seconds to cross the room to get to you okay
Drama Mama Hwa to Protective Boyfriend Hwa that quick
He’ll explain why he was upset and you’ll explain your side as well
And once you’re finished, you’re both calm and forgiving about it
Even if you don’t fully understand each others point of view, you get it enough to let it go
Then you both just pass out together bc emotions are tiring
But you definitely wake up with smiles on your faces the next morning
Yunho:
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(this is how he sulks at you okay its adorable, i just wanna give him the world)
this jealous baby
Like did you guys see that video of him and Wooyoung eating cheese tteokbokki like San was just tryna help no need to get your boxers in a bunch sweetie
But anyways, I digress
If he’s jealous, he’s gonna let you know straight out the gate
Like he’ll literally tap you on the shoulder and then act like he did nothing
And at first you’re like aw cute he’s being playful
But really he just wants you to know he’s ignoring you on purpose
Like how dare you not notice that Im ignoring you purposefully… He’s not gonna put in all this effort just for you to not notice okay
And when your brain finally connects those dots its like ugh
But Yunho is easy to break okay
Like the second you pay him even a lick of attention he’s so happy
Its just really hard for him to stay upset
But dammit he’s gonna try his best to keep it up until he thinks you have both neglected each other for an equal amount of time
But both of you are kinda clingy
So even if you both know this won’t last for very long, you still get kinda sad about it
And the second your lip juts out and you’re pouting
He’s smooshing your cheeks and just going “aigooooooo” and babying you and stuff
All the other members are disgusted but they’re just jealous okay I said what I said
Yeosang:
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(Kang Yeosang character summary: will ignore you for chicken)
Okay I don’t think Yeosang is the type to ignore you on purpose
He just gets really in his head when he’s jealous and gets quiet
And I feel like we see more of Yeosang’s quiet side rather than his expressive side
So maybe he’s shyer about emotions? Idk this is all speculation anyway
So if he’s in his head, he’s definitely not trying to hurt you or anything
He’s just thinking about everything and feeling neglected and insecure
Poor baby
Like he’s only gonna notice that you’re sad about him ignoring you once youre alone
Bc nothing else can distract him from you aw
And if you’re even the slightest bit teary, all of his insecurities fly out the window
Like all his focus will be on making you feel better
And when you say that you’re upset bc he was ignoring you
He’ll literally be like… you were ignoring me tho???
Also he strikes me as the type to laugh in serious situations so he will deadass burst out laughing 
Like full on cackling
You’re half crying and just staring at him like ??? Wtf???
And he’s like WE IGNORED EACH OTHER HAHAHA
What the hell’s so funny about that you absolute crackhead
But then youre laughing too bc you realize that this entire situation is kind of ridiculous anyway
And both of you get over just like that, and spend the rest of the night giving each other all the love and affection you have to spare
San:
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Okay San’s type of jealousy is more aggressive I think
Like not that he’s aggressive towards anyone about, just it impacts him way more than anyone else
So it can really take a toll on your relationship sometimes
But I do feel like, if he’s gonna ignore you, it’s only gonna be while you’re in front of the members
But as soon as you get home, all the emotions are gonna come out at once
Like as soon as you step through the door, word vomit all over the place
And if you’re eyes are glossy too then both of you are gonna end up crying
And neither of you are really sure why you’re crying, you’re just soft babies okay
But I do think that San is more accusatory in these situations
Like a lot of “you did this” instead of “this is how I feel”
So it can start arguments sometimes
This time though, you’re both just emo and soft
Since you’re both a little bit weepy, you’re both just apologizing profusely 
but neither of you really know why you’re sorry
You just are
And no formal resolution is reached because you both fall asleep all cozied up to each other with tears drying on both of your faces
And you wake up in the morning, kind of giggling at each other
All the negativity got washed out of your systems anyway :)
Mingi:
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this BABY
he’s jealous but if he ignores you omg
its so hard for him to do
god like he's not even good at it
like he’s ignoring you but still holding your hand??
like how does that work
but anyway, even if you're pouting at him and stuff
he will be the one who ends up crying
like “why did you ignore meee”
and you're like... I didn't even realize I was??
so you decide to tell him what you and the members were talking about
and then all of a sudden, he’s distracted
like “ooh that interesting”
tell me more
or if it was a debate he’ll pick a side and have a full discussion with you
or if he agrees with you, he will playfully diss the other members for being wrong lmao
basically, just distract him and everything will be all set
just don't make a habit of ignoring him bc then he will really feel unloved and no one is allowed to hurt my Minnie
Wooyoung: 
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So, Wooyoung is more exaggerated with the way he expresses his emotions
And we all know that I mean we’ve seen it
So when he gets jealous, he feels it in his chest
Then those emotions bubble up and come out in the form of hysterics
So he goes extra crazy for a little bit
Like not showing anger or anything, just being excessively crackheadish
And obviously not giving any of that attention to you
You notice it immediately
Like if he’s super excited, he always gives you most of his attention bc he really wants to share that happiness with you
But if he’s ignoring you, its really obvious
And you really feel the hurt bc its like… he never acts like this normally
So once you get home you’ve pretty much had it
Like your eyes are welling up and he’s just kind of looks at you like “oh nooooooo, I done messed up”
And he’s holding you and apologizing and being sweet and explaining why he did it
Literally swears up and down he will never do it again
Bc when he feels guilty it’s overwhelming for him too
Especially when it comes to you
So you end up snuggling each other the whole night to make up for the time you lost ignoring each other
Jongho:
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Jongho is definitely more reserved about his emotions and we see that a lot
I feel like its probably because he’s the youngest and he doesn’t want his hyungs to think he’s immature or incapable of handling his emotions
So he is gonna try to maintain that tough facade in front of his members at all costs
And they won’t really notice if you guys are having problems bc I feel like he tends to keep things about your relationship more private in front of them anyway
So if he’s ignoring you, the other guys will just assume that he’s trying to keep being tough
No one is allowed to see Jongho soft okay
But you will be seeing him turn soft the second he notices that you’re hurting
If he notices that you’re upset when you’re with the guys, he will take you home early
The second you’re alone, protective and soft Jongho combine to form that side of him the guys arent allowed to see
He hates that he’s the reason you’re feeling hurt
Will try literally anything to make you feel better
He is not gonna stop touching you and holding you and babying you all night
Has to be in contact with you in some way or he’ll cry
But either way he’s gonna be the best boyfriend to make up with
Bc he behaves this way after every conflict you have
Forever a sweetheart
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bellafarella · 3 years
Note
Hey, so not to be a downer, but I usually agree with your recaps and have been feeling pretty positive about season 11 so I’m surprised I didn’t like this one. Elephant in the room first: couldn’t they have let people keep their headcanons about that monogamy conversation? My feeling when it first came up was that it was out of character for Mickey and Ian to be in favor of an open relationship mostly because they are southside violence prone and canonically possessive. The whole “I don’t wanna be friends with these guys so that means we should bang them” thing wasn’t funny at all. So it happened and I will never speak on it again. That’s whatever.
More importantly, I’m angry at the Carl story. WTF the awful catching feelings for your rapist trope? 11 x06 got it right: it was non con. There are non latex condoms first of all. Plus a condom allergy is not a free pass to hop on someone’s dick after they said they want a condom. You actually have to stop and say “hey I have this allergy so we should probably talk about this before it goes any further.” And then to have Mickey a rape victim himself be the one to say it wasn’t rape after that intense stuff with Terry just happened too was no bueno. It felt almost like the decent writing from 11 x 06 was being retconned. :-/
Noel and Cam were cute and had Ian and Mickey vibing but not enough to save the writing for me this time. 🤷‍♀️
sorry you didnt agree this time but never said you had to, always said these were my opinions only and what i thought about the episode. to me it was great - it was funny and sweet, it showed us how ian and mickey are truly each others best friend.
them occasionally hooking up with other men =/= open relationship
they had clear communication and set boundaries for it. they decided as a couple that if they wanted to hook up with other men that they would do it together. it’s not for you to say if its wrong or right. you dont have to personally like the idea of them hooking up with other men on occasion but you also cant just shit on it because u dont personally like it. this is a common thing within many relationships. just because its not your preference, doesnt mean its not okay for them to do.  
i’m not saying you have to agree or like it, i’m just saying that them hooking up with men is something they agreed to do together or not at all, they communicated, they set boundaries, and they’re ultimately happy and secure and comfortable enough in their marriage to be able to do this.
yes, they have been possessive in the past... they were also teenagers. they are both in their mid-twenties. things change.  people grow. mickey isn’t the scared teen living in the closet in fear he’s gonna die for being gay. he can be who he is 10000%, why can’t that mean getting handjobs from randos with his husband ????
just because mickey didn’t like that ian cheated on him when he was 18 or ian didnt like that mickey cheated on him when he was 18, doesn’t meant that now being 24-26 years old and married and in love and committed to each other, that they can’t have some fun on occasion. 
there’s a huge difference in my opinion when talking about s1-5 ian/mickey and talking about s11 ian/mickey. comparing the two doesn’t do it for me. they are grown ass men now and have grown up and changed a lot and like i said, mickey isn’t this scared teen living in fear. he can be out and proud now for the first time in his life.
and anyway,  the orgy/monogamy stuff isnt even what we should be taking away from this episode. what the point was is that they are best friends who dont need anyone else. they are happy with who they are. they are secure and comfortable in their marriage. and if they decide to occasionally hook up with other men then that is their prerogative.
also, we didn’t see shit. you can imagine literally anything you want but you’re upset about the idea of them maybe fucking other people. they could have just fucked each other. they could have gotten more hand jobs then left. like it’s so vague and up in the air, you could imagine whatever you want ????
i dont know, i just really don’t see the issue whatsoever. i don’t personally like it like i wouldn’t ever in my own relationship, fuck around with other people with my partner but thats my preference. im not gonna project that onto my ship when they are not the same as me at all. 
/
yeah so the carl stuff - i can’t. i can’t stand his sl or his character like idk what they are even doing with him. these writers like to erase male rape, they did it with mickey, and ian, and now they are doing it with carl
sorry if i am coming across rude, its really not my intention. you are valid to feel the way you do. i just - you know i loved the episode, i said it was my favorite and you wanted to vent to me about it so im gonna state my opinion. i’m sorry if you dont agree.
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femmesandhoney · 3 years
Text
kinda tempted to just block an old friend on all my socials. she literally never cared about me enough to even message me first when she knew she hurt my feelings badly two years ago. the entire time we were friends (like 7+ years) she always preferred this other guy in our friend group even when she moved away and he never made time to even visit her. he ended up befriending some really shitty people throughout high school as well which she never saw or seemed to care.
like idk it felt like she was infatuated with him since we were kids and no matter how amazing of a friend you were to her, she would never consider you a best friend. always bugged me, but it wasn't until she started like abandoning our plans that were important to me for other things i realized i really wasn't a priority to her, but this other guy literally always is. and i like him when he's by himself, he's nice and we've known each other longer than we've both known this other girl, but im really annoyed by how she can't seem to realize he isn't actually that awesome of a friend. or at least, from my perspective of what a good friend should be, he doesn't like? do anything for her? make time for her? get her gifts? but nope he's still always this infallible person to her because i guess they just text a lot. thats literally the only way i think they communicate when she doesn't come to town for whatever reason, which is rare. so yeah. i hate it.
like for the record she told me to stop texting her because I was bothering her, when she could have just silenced my messages. so i waited until she would text me first. because the reason I texted her so much was cause i was geninuely interested in her life and wanted her to know i was still her friend even tho she lived three hours away, and it just seemed like a lot bc i was always the one trying to start convos and she would barely give me sentences. it was really odd behavior from her at the time, so i brushed it off, but i guess i messaged her one too many times. six ish months later she told me she wanted to message me after i had stopped, but she said she knew i was mad and was scared to. like girl wtf do you mean you were scared of me? we'd been amazing friends for fucking ever at that point and i couldn't believe she was nervous to message me first bc she knew i was probably mad bc of my silence. yeah great friends, where one is scared to even message hello 🙄 made me feel so great about our friendship.
like idk this is just a huge ramble but its always just been so frustrating to me bc we were actually amazing friends even though i did most of the work after she left town, but we were always close. same interests, same humor, same life shit. and she just let it all go bc she didn't know how to fucking message me after upsetting me. im petty and wasn't gonna be the first to message, but i did like six months later bc i was just so sad thinking about the situation and thats when she "explained" her side which wasnt an explanation at all really. she did say she would try to be more open and talkative and shit with me, but ope looks like she failed quickly.
and now both of them are hanging out in town together and posting about it and im like wow thanks for the invite i can see youre trying so hard to work on your side of our amazing. fucking. friendship.
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sukirichi · 3 years
Note
In light of the recent spoilers of JJK, I’m gonna need physical proof. Like, my living eyeballs need to see said spoilers 👁👁 until then nothing has happened 😀
warnings: jjk manga spoilers!
oh anon i think the physical proof would just ruin me more ashsjkal i tried to tell myself that oh no yeah anything can happen, it’s probably not real, the chapter isn’t finished and it would be anti-climatic to give us a backstory and sneak peeks of his significance but...i’m just trying to move on rn lmaooooo. been crying the whole day and i am a dried prune, so idk ✌🏻
more asks answered under the cut!
suki let’s cry together 🙁 i’ve been in denial and have been crying abt the leaks on twt. anyways even if he d-worded we can always write fics where he’s alive! i will forever deny his death 🥲
yes anon yes please let us cry together. yeah right? like damn i have never cried this much lmfao. i do want to write fics for him but i’m currently on the five stages of grief hahahha idk i don’t want to believe it!!!
@fyodors-crime SUKI WTF i haven't been on here in a while but WHY THE FUCK WOULD THEY KILL NAOYA OFF AND THEN DISBAND THE ZENIN CLAN WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING i'm lowkey shaking no this is too soon for him to go
bestie idk what is going on either 😀🤡
its the anon that kept going "ok" sorry about that im in a state of denial
its alright bestie i am still not in a state of denial so here be the waterworks 😭
@naoyailoveu he isn't dead if we don't read the chapter
the leaks???? smh our man deserves more than that
Naoya had so much potential. Damn I'm sad
JJK 152 LEAKS: i was literally just saying that i was happy bc of the hiatus so like naoya will be alive for longer then boom the leaks :((
jjk manga spoilers! - - - he had sooo much potential :(( i was hoping we’d even see him in the culling game or at least have a face off with megumi in the future
EXACTLY LIKE! why introduce a character as iconic as that with the sneak peeks of his backstory and then he was killed by the most irrelevant character? feel like gee is just slandering naoya bcos we didn’t even get a proper backstory / future arc / or even a part where he shows what he’s capable of 🥺 plus that death is so!!! he got a dramatic entrance and had a lame death what is that 😔
@mimines My condolences. You were always on my tl simping over him ( This is my first time using Ask so hopefully I dont embarrass myself )
i love him sm 🥺💕
with how jjk manga is going i do really wonder if gege is still enjoying his work bc ngl after the shibuya arc everything seems too rushed 👁👁🥴🥴
ah same anon same same...i have a feeling gege is not enjoying writing jjk anymore and i’m worried that he might just end up killing everyone and it’s so 💀it feels too rushed like where is the story going anymore 😐
are you okay? not in direct regards to the leaks but the fact that ppl seemed to run to your inbox to spoil it for you... idk I hope you’re doing alright
i am alright thanks for the concern! i don’t mind being spoiled 💕
man i hate this chapter my heart hurts i really wanted gege to keep him a little longer at least wtfff
I JUST SAW THE SPOILERS AAAAA It's a bit of an unfulfilling end tbh with the build in Naoya's character only for him to be d-worded by a character who appeared in less than 5 panels. Like, since there was a little back story and how he was sympathetic to Toji and Gojo huhu Naoya's a good character to just die. I'm sad for his character since he's just the reflection of what a misogynistic and power greedy society does to a child. He would've survived ajdjasjQJFJAJDJAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
naoya’s design was so cool i mean he was supposed to be this traditional dude but he had DYED hair and piercings djsjsjsns😩 please if he was stabbed or something there’s still hope (as long as he still has his head) who knows what if someone healed him or something ugh im desperate
I really thought Naoya would make a great antagonist and represent something,,,even if it was a bad cause or bad behavior or whatever, bcos his character had so much potential and he was so iconic and just... Like what is going on??? Exactly Gege had so much build on Naoya and even that backstory of him wanting to stand with Toji and Gojo and then 💀 omg anon ikr...like no one is born evil, Naoya’a beliefs are ones he grew up in and I think he perfectly represents why family plays an influential part in one’s growth and that he’s just another kid who was raised wrongly by the toxicity of the Zen’in clan 💀 UGH ANON I SURE DO HOPE HE STILL HAS HIS HEAD 😭😭😭 i’m desperate too but i’ve long accepted that maybe it’s time for me to go as well, the zen’in estate is empty anyway 😔 /lh
my notifications just spoiled me omg, wow 😢
Why do people have to spoil the jjk chapters 😭😭
why are your anons so rude? if they know youre a naoya stan why would they send you spoilers like that knowing it might upset you? people shouldn’t spoil the deaths of their faves because it could be really hurtful and its annoying because its like no one cares what you feel
smhhhh why are people telling you he died like eye 🧍🏽‍♀️do they not know it would be upsetting
besties...i am okay with spoilers, i love spoilers actually. thanks for the concern but i don’t think any of the people who spoiled me had the intention to upset me with it, rather to just tell me on what went on. yes ofc i’m heartbroken by the turn of events but i am not mad at anyone. if anyone was being rude to me i would call them out on it, plus my blog is not spoiler free so its a given i am okay with spoilers.
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xnchxntmxnt · 3 years
Note
Hey this is for your matchups which again yayyy congrats on nearly 200!! Anyways for my matchup:
1-3) My nickname is Em, she/her and idm who you pair me with
4) I'd describe myself as shy at first then once you get to know me I'll open up, an overthinker and I like to be organized
My hobbies are writing, I really love it alot, I also like to draw if I get time and I love music alot too
In a partner I'd look for someone who makes me laugh and who's patient
For dealbreakers it's pretty general but I couldn't be with someone who doesn't consider other ppl's feelings
5) I don't have an aesthetic but I like pastel aesthetics but then I also like dark aesthetics and light academia so it's a mix I guess
6) Colours to describe me would be teal blue and silver, well according to you anyways
7) Right now I'd say my favourite song is  Tru Luv Street by Awfultune or Fight Night Champion by Cyberbully Mom Club
8) Idk about a specific genre but some artists I like rn are: Awfultune, Carpetgarden, Cavetown, Clem Turner, Cyberbully Mom Club, Girl in Red, Joji, Lorde, Matt Maltese and Twenty One Pilots (sorry that's alot)
9) Ooh and I wanted to include that my favourite book is Radio Silence by Alice Oseman
Thank you in advance and also ily, you deserve all the love and more!! <3
EM MY BELOVED I HAVE DONE IT
@sugasfanfics this was so fun wtf like-- ugh i love this
ANYWAY i know i already kinda spilled the beans but im gonna match you with....
✧𝐴𝑘𝑎𝑎𝑠ℎ𝑖 𝐾𝑒𝑖𝑗𝑖✧
AGASHIII
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and no it's not just because you're already in love w him i have good reasoning behind this because i said so anyWAY
✧𝐻𝑜𝑤 𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝑀𝑒𝑡✧
how you met, for in case you cant see my fancy text
Cafe
C a f e
But like
A cafe specifically for nerds
This is just my like 2nd dream job okay but like hear me out
They have coffee & tea & a bookshelf full of old books and a chalkboard
You can write all over the chalkboard
You write super tiny and just let a little mini vent out in the corner because you’re stressed out and need to get everything off your chest
BUT you come back the next day and there’s a little note in the same little corner
Your message is gone
But instead is a little note from someone
“If you ever need to talk to someone, let me know”
And an Instagram username
So you give it a shot and you’re like why not talk to this random person Y’know maybe make a new friend if anything just thank them for the offer
You message him and start talking (and low key stalk his page just to see what he’s like, or maybe that’s just me being a snoop) and he’s actually really cool! So you guys meet up and get coffee and actually start talking all the time it’s really sweet
✧𝐺𝑒𝑛𝑒𝑟𝑎𝑙 𝐻𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑐𝑎𝑛𝑜𝑛𝑠✧
general headcanons
When i think of akaashi, I think of stars
When i think of you, i think of picnics and for some reason, water
Like the ocean
SO EVEN IF ITS NOT THE OCEAN
Your ‘spot’ is by this lake where he took you on a date one time
Maybe for an anniversary or something
But you guys did a little picnic dinner thing and were out when the sun went down so sat and stared at the stars
You buried a rock there and both of you like to stand on that spot where the rock is when youre there with the other
Or send the other a picture like “hiii baby look what i found” w your shoe in the picture
Bokuto is your #1 shipper high key
Like he thinks you two are so cute
He loves you so much too like
He and akaashi are kinda a package deal so like if ur dating akaashi ur dating bokuto just with less kissing (bokuto likes to kiss your cheek or forehead) (after making sure this was ok with akaashi of course) (ur his girlfriend of course)
But anyway just bokuto
He’s so sweet
And so clueless
You two will be walking together and then he’ll just walk up behind you and sling his arms over your shoulders
If youre holding hands w akaashi? He’ll put his hand over both of yours
God now i wanna write a fic but anyway
Bo is just the sweetest and is akaashi’s #1 hype man when he’s worried about a date
He’s ur #2 bc im ur #1 sorry to tell u
Bo totally tried to coin the platonic soulmates thing i love you kou but gtfo my em
Im arguing with fictional characters
ANYWAY
When akaashi is stressed he likes to wrap his arms around you and lay his head against your neck
He’ll never admit it out loud because he thinks its weird but he thinks you smell nice
When he’s starting to overthink too much + spiral he just will grab you and hug you until all the bad thoughts go away
When he thinks to of course
When he doesn’t, there are times you gotta find him and calm him down
Which he loves so much
Sit him down on the floor so he feels more grounded and hold his hand (or hook pinkies that's so cute i jhbflebf) (not the time spencer gtfo)
That way ur not crowding him but you’re still there y'know
And sometimes he’ll talk, sometimes you need to talk him down, sometimes you just sit in silence
Eventually he will lean forward into you and hug you because he doesn't want to talk, but he wants you to know he’s okay
Rub his back, kiss his head, you’ll both be okay
He’s really good with you too
When you’re stressed out he might push a couple buttons but he means well
He just wants to know who made his star upset (he calls you his star or darling convince me otherwise)
So he pushes buttons until you finally talk about it because obviously it’s bothering you why wouldn't you talk about it?? He just wants to fix it??
Sometimes this gets more irritating, sometimes it helps, it depends on the day
But even if you do get into an argument, expect to hear from him before the end of the night apologizing because he feels so bad for arguing with you that he doesn’t even care what the argument was about he just wants to make sure you still love him
I think im getting off topic but tbh this part is always just me rambling lol
Another thing I think of when I think of akaashi is rain. I don't know why but i do
You have to at least know OF the notebook & the rain scene to get this
I don't know the book lol i just know this much and i'm a dork so we’re using it & some quotes just a heads up
But just imagine its pouring and you’re bored and text him like “i wish i could see you but its raining & we didn't really make plans & i don't want you to get caught in the rain anywhere”
This mfer
RUNS ALL THE WAY TO UR HOUSE
JUST SHOWS UP
OUT OF NO WHERE
And being the freakin
book nerd he is
He texts you and goes “I wrote you 365 letters.”
And then just “(come to the door and I’ll finish the quote)”
So you bolt to the front door
And there he is
Soaking wet & smiling like an idiot
“I wrote to you everyday for a year.”
To which you start laughing and barley are able to make out a “it wasn’t over’ (which is the beginning of the next quote) before kissing him
And this jerk pulls you out in the rain with him because WHAT is more romantic than kissing in the rain
Nothing
Anyway he ends up with a cold but you give him some of the clothes you probably stole from him to get into dry clothes and you cuddle under the covers with tea
After you smack him (playfully of course) because “you IDIOT keiji it's pouring out here!!” “I wanted to see you too so i ran over” “you're impossible”
Anyway yeah #emkaashiotp
✧𝐴 𝐷𝑎𝑡𝑒 𝐼𝑑𝑒𝑎✧
a date idea
Bookstore
I'm really good at naming places aren't i
Anyway
Bookstore date
But do something fun where the two of you have to go through an aisle and find a random page and read it in the like
How do i explain this
Make it sound suuuuper sexual without it actually being that way and not laugh
Whoever loses buys lunch
Lets just say you lose a lot dear im sorry (he insists on buying anyway, sometimes he wins that argument)
You’re smiley :) (guys her smile is so cute ebflbejfb em ILY)
Oh also doesn’t matter if he bought lunch or not he always gets you something
Whether it be that book you decided you couldn't get this time or a little trinket that reminded him of you, or sometimes it’s just ice cream
It’s all very sweet (hahaha pun)
He always walks you home and gives you a little kiss when he drops you off
Doesn’t leave till you’re inside & he knows you’re good
You make him promise to text you when he gets home
Which he does, without fail
✧𝑍𝑜𝑑𝑖𝑎𝑐 𝐶𝑜𝑚𝑝𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑏𝑖𝑙𝑖𝑡𝑦✧
zodiac compatibility
Sagittariuses are very intelligent, fair-minded & honest, similar to a Libra’s cleverness & rationale. Because of this similarity, trust is a huge thing in these relationships. It can be all or nothing, but finding balance is important to keep both people happy. Luckily, Libras are very good at this. From everything I’ve seen, these signs together have a very high compatibility and can have a very long-withstanding and healthy relationship.
✧𝐴𝑒𝑠𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑡𝑖𝑐✧
aesthetic
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✧𝑃𝑙𝑎𝑦𝑙𝑖𝑠𝑡✧
playlist
House of Gold - Twenty-One Pilots
Lvr Boy - awfultune
A Shitty Love Song - Jye
Darling Get Up - awfultune
Something Just Like This - Alex Goot
✧𝑅𝑢𝑛𝑛𝑒𝑟𝑠 𝑈𝑝✧
runners up
Nishinoya Yuu, Sugawara Koushi
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lesbianazuna · 3 years
Note
Considering the Mixed thoughts on the 2nd Half BMA, how would you have written it?
im gonna put this under a read more bc i have a lot of thoughts on this and ive never talked abt them before so i have a lot to say.
tbh the problem i have with the 2nd half of bna is that it doesn’t really do any of the things the 1st half set up for it to do? idk, like, i know a lot of people say it feels rushed, but i think it only feels rushed because (rather than complete the plot points they established in eps 1-6) the 2nd half of the show introduces an entirely different unrelated plot that really needed an entire season rather than half of one.
(bc there’s been no announcement for s2 and we have no reason to believe there’ll be one, im critiquing this as though the show’s over btw. also i’ll be calling the 1st half of the season “pt.1″ and the 2nd “pt.2″ from here on, just bc it’s easier).
one of the worst parts about pt.2 is definitely the entire alan situation. the big reveal that he’s a beastman was awful: most of pt.1 had been about how beastmen were being oppressed by humans and pt.2 completely dropping that plot line then going on to make the main oppressor in the show a member of the minority he was oppressing was... not a great look. it’s complicated, because there definitely is something to be said about “pick me” minorities, who would rather fit in with their oppressors than stand up for the people in their own community, but bna wasn’t trying to do that. even if they were trying to do that, because alan is the only villain (except maybe boris?), it creates a narrative that minorities are responsible for their own oppression. which is obviously not correct and could have been avoided if a) alan was a human or b) there were other human villains (and if they went down that route, i’d probably do it where alan is working with/for the humans and think’s because of that he’ll be safe, but they end of betraying him and treating him like they do the other beastmen when they don’t need him anymore). 
and it wasn’t even good storytelling, the reveal came out of nowhere, there was no buildup or foreshadowing or anything (there’s a difference between an unexpected plot twist and something that just doesn’t make sense) and it ruined all the “humans vs beastmen” conflict that pt.1 had set up without solving it or even acknowledging it at all. also, i didn’t think this had to be said, but introducing blood purity in the last 5 minutes of your show as a “funky little plot twist” is the worst thing ever??? wtf?????
also this post talks abt alan being in a giant robotic wolf for his fight with shirou which i think is a really cool idea.
honestly, the main plot point that gets dropped after pt.1 is the “human vs beastmen” thing (which is especially weird considering it’s like the whole focus of the first 4 or 5 episodes??? like. the entire show happens because of it? michiru goes to anima city bc of it, michiru meets shirou because of it, she befriends nina because of it, nazuna and the church of the silver wolf go to anima city because of it. like.. for all of pt.1, the entire plot revolves around the oppression of beastmen by humans then in pt.2 it’s only mentioned like once??). the only time it’s mentioned in pt.2 is when mayor rose gets trapped by the humans (and even that is brushed off as nothing). 
i think there should’ve been more time spent with humans: in ep1 they’re literally trying to kill michiru, in ep4 they lock nina in a fish tank and almost drown her, in ep1 they show clips of anti-beastmen riots and even the fact that anima city exists? obviously it’s supposed to be a safe place for beastmen but a) just separating humans and beastmen isn’t going to solve the problem and b) 😐 u know the humans’ probably only agreed to that so they wouldn’t have to interact with beastmen anymore. we’re shown beastmen being murdered and abused by humans on multiple occasions and the only “solution” we’re given in the end is nazuna becoming an idol and? ending violence against minorities by singing songs? (not even political songs). it just feels really disjointed that pt.1 is all about racism then in pt.2 it’s completely forgotten about for the sake of nirvasyl syndrome.
to be honest, i’d like to get rid of nirvasyl syndrome all together but it’s pretty important to most of pt.2, so i’d probably just change the way it’s executed. rather than give the minority characters a gene that turns them into bloodthirsty killing machines, i’d have sylvasta pharmaceuticals be involved with it. maybe when beastmen go to their hospital (considering it’s the biggest one in anime city, it’s safe to assume most if not all beastmen have been to it at least once), they’re given an injection that gives them nirvasyl syndrome (the capability to have it - they’d still have to get really angry or upset for it to kick in like in canon). or maybe the human government are involved with it somehow? idrk
tbh, i’d leave everything up until episode 9 the same, then i’d change nirvasyl syndrome to be a disease beastmen were unknowingly given by sylvasta pharmaceuticals (so everything with nazuna’s concert and shirou’s howl could still happen) and i’d make alan a human and give him a giant robot for his fight with shirou.
i’d also continue the humans mistreating beastmen plotline past episode 6 (human alan/sylvasta being responsible for nirvasyl obviously ties into that). becuase it’s only 12 episodes it would probably have to end in a “things are just starting to get better but we have hope for the future” type thing - maybe with getting rid of anima city?
i’d change it so anima city is marketed as a euptopia for beastmen to convince them to go, but once they get there they realise it isn’t as great as they thought (which is kinda canon already). although they’re safe from humans, they can’t leave and they’re not even completely safe (like in ep1 when those beastmen working for humans destroy the festival) (and the way they can’t even use phones to contact the rest of the world? u wouldn’t have to do much to make it feel like a prison).
near the end of the show, the human government starts betraying mayor rose and, even before that, it hasn’t been helping anima city out (sylvasta gives the city enough money to run), so i’d end the show with the beastmen breaking out of anima city to confront the humans and demand they be allowed back into the rest of society (which even adds the opportunity for a second season).
after sylvasta gave the beastmen nirvasyl, mayor rose realised that if they aren’t even safe in anima city, there’s no point being trapped in there (i’d probably add an episode or have the nirvasyl incident happen a little earlier/end faster tho, so there’s time for them leaving anima city to not be rushed)
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Text
what’s that? divorced mociet au for maximum angst? don’t mind if i do!
they meet in a local park, deceit probly says something like “Nature is so beautiful, it’s a shame man tries to own her” and patton is like “omg so deep take me”
they go on sum dates
patton dives head first into love and drags dee with him
pat wants to get married, dee is unsure, but want to make pat happy so he accepts
they adopt a 3 year old logan and 1 year old twins roman and remus
tensions rises as they have two distinct styles of parenting
a friend of patton gets pregent young and asks him to raise the baby (trans!remy for added angst maybe idk)
pat agrees without talking to dee
dee finds out and they have their 1st big fight
dee agrees to raise the babe but the tension has snapped and is poisening their relationship
lil babe virge joins the famILY
deceit goes “i’ve only know virgil for a hour but if anything happens to him i will kill everyone and then myself”
they divorce and there’s an ugly custody battle
dee: “you aren’t responble enough to raise children!!!”
pat: “my baaaaabbbiiiiieeeessss!!!”
Logan (5) and Roman (3) go with Patton
Remus (3) and Virgil (2) go with Deceit
Patton moves away to a new town and they break off contact
pat enrolls his sons in a K-12 school and they do really well
dee works long hours to support his sons
he puts remus in a public school, but remus doesn’t do well in school
he gets into fights and gets expelled
dee sends him to a new school
this happens alot
dee wants to keep remus and virge in the same school, so every time remus gets expelled, he moves both of them
they never stay in the same school for more than a year
this is very stressful for dee who eventually has to move around to keep up with remus’s school-switching
this is also super hard on virgil who never learns how to make friends
dee, who is always stressed and not always there, and remus, a fuck-up who couldn’t care less, become his contants
they move to a new town before virgil’s freshman year
virge and remus go to the local highschool
remus meets roman in their classes (surprise! they have ended up in the same town patton moved to earlier!!)
they don’t reconize either other (obv they were like 3)
remus chalenges roman to a fight durring lunch
virge is like “remus no” and remus is like “remus yes”
crowd gathers and roman wants to protect his pride
they fight and it gets bloody quick
roman’s older brother, logan (:O), comes rushing in and breaks it up
he reconizes remus and virge (he got good memory or sumn)
virge is like “WTF REMUS THIS IS WHY DAD HATES YOU”
and leaves
Logan is surprised pikachu face
the whole school is buzzing with gossip of new kids und log and rom
virge skips class and hides in the liberary
logan finds him after school
logan: “bro i’m like ur older bro” virge: “wth no way bro” logan: “no no i got this picture with both of our now single parents in it” virge: “fuck dude that’s sum pretty solid evidence”
virge opens up a bit to lo
they go to the dention room together but!! patton is there (gasp) and virge is like “omg i can’t let him see me” and lo is like “ur tots right, i won’t say a word”
pat and boys leave and virge goes into dention room
but remus is gone????
suprise bitch he went home early- virge learns thru dee’s “wth are u!!” phone call
dee and boys have dinner, which doesn’t happen often
dee: “im so sorry we can’t have this more often” remus: “whatever ur cooking stinks” virge: *internal panic* cantlethimfindoutcantlethimfindout
back to pat- he’s not angry, roman, just disapointed. fighting=bad
everyone goes to be tired and upset except remus, bc he’s a bastard (look i love him, but he is a bastard)
next day is school day
people whisper about virge and reem in the hallways, but he indimidates them with his Insane Looks TM
Roman “”””forgives””””” Remus when the meet and remus shrugs and insluts his non-existent mother
logan is there and calmly reminds roman not to retaliiate
things go okay for a few weeks
virge is loney, remus is bastard, roman is trying so hard to not punch him in the face, and logan is a nerd
virge needs lo’s nerd skills to pass a test
lo teaches him at the school
ro joins one of their study sessions
at 1st he’s rude to virge but then he reliezes virge is not a bastard like remus
they become friends, an lo and virge tell ro ~The famILY Seceret~
later ro begs virge to join Drama Club
virge is like “nuuu” ro is like “pleassss” virge is like “...ok fine.”
they are doing a play version of The Parent Trap
Ro and virge gets the role of the twins 
rem makes fun of virge for his growing interest in the-ay-tar, but dee’s happy he’s putting himself out there and making friends
logan finds the play ironic lol
pat is excite!! and support!! for roman and his starring role
but then!! lo ro and virge Relieze both parents will Be There and See their Sons or Each Other
remus shows up like an eavesdropping bitch and is like “lol what if we dedicated it to them lol it be funny”
“REMUS NO”
lo’s like “welp nothing we can do bout it now”
ro: “wait! what if u and remus took the other parent of the child on stage out of the theater so they only see their child!!”
lo: unrealilistic
virge panic tm
remus gives a ton of really bad ideas
everyone goes home with this big fat problem in their minds
remus starts dropping onimous hints about the play and dee is Concern
the day of the play comes
ro and virge decied that no matter what, the show must go on
they perform and do really well, breaking both their legs (jk)
(remus throws a tomato onto the stage at the climax lol)
after the show virge finds dee an ree in the crowd
dee is super quiet and looking around (he has the program in his hand)((the program with roman’s full name)) (((which would have patton’s last name)))((((u get it))))
virge panic pt 2, but remus saves the day (whaaa) by asking to go for icecream
dee agrees and they go for sum BR
BUT! ro lo and pat had the same idea!!
they’re in the same icecream parlor!
remus stiffs a laugh
dee cooly glances over to where the pat and boys are sitting before heading over to the country to order
virge quietly follows
lo notices them and nudges ro who abruptly stops talking and looks over at dee and boys, alerting pat of their prensence
flashes of grief on pat’s face
the table is quiet before ro awkwardly picks up the conversation where he left off
dee gets a table as far away from pat &co as possible
however, he looks up once and locks eyes with patton
both tables are quiet
dee breaks the eye contact and starts talking to his boys
patton smiles sadly at his icecream
“I thing we should go home kiddos.”
at home, lo explains everything
pat nods numbly and locks himself in his bedroom
logan comforts roman
at the ice cream, dee talks to virge and remus about the play until patton leave
“so do you know them?”
virge breaks down and admits everything
remus isn’t as much as a bastrad now
dee ods calmly and they eat ice cream in silence
they next day is saturday
virge stays in his room despite remus atempts to play 
remus also locks himself in his room
dee finds logan’s cell number in virgil’s backpack and calls him
surprisingly patton picks up
they talk for a while
they agree to keep the kids in the same school
“I miss you somethimes, dee.” a pause. “Your mistake.”
dee hangs up
he looks up to where virgil’s room is and sighs.
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