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monimccoythings · 17 days

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Alastor x Daughter!Reader: Runaway I (Platonic)

So, what would it happen if Y/N after a lot of time at the hotel, decides to run off and explore the human world? Just like it happened in Helluva Boss I think. This is lighter than the others, but I really wanted to write this one. This could be interpreted as some AU of the Au or even set in the same series after a lot of time has passed.

I know the Grimoire doesn't really look like that and is in the ownership of someone else, but I was thinking that since Lucifer is the King of Hell, he should have at least a copy.

Reminder: Alastor is in hell for a reason.

Tw: Controlling behavior, possessive behavior, Alastor being a very controlling dad.

tags: @anonymousewrites, @nonetheartist, @littledolly2345, @sunnyx07, @ouroborostheunholy, @mo-0-o, @sydneyyyya @lbcreations-blog, @kiraisastay

Things have gotten much better for you since you first arrived. It had finally gotten inside your thick skull that this experience was for real. As crazed as Charlie's dream seemed to be, you couldn't help but believe in her and her goals, given her optimism and enthusiasm. You could say this place was safer than anywhere else you had been crashing for the last ninety years.

But the safety of a place didn't always come hand in hand with feeling safe. And there was only one person to blame for that: Alastor.

If he had been overprotective as a human, as a demon he was much worse. He didn't give a fuck about subtlety anymore. He knew the kind of people that were out there; in fact, he was one of them! Time had proved over and over again you wouldn't make it out there without his protection! He just wanted what was best for you and he also casually happened to know what it was! He was that smart, hahahaha!

As a minor, there was little you could do in Hell, you couldn't drink, you couldn't smoke, you couldn't have sex. So that just nuked three of the most popular hobbies there. Not that you cared much, but it just really left you with a feeling that you didn't belong among the guests and staff friend group due to your youth. The emotional age gap was quite something. And there were times where you felt like the tag-along-kid more than a part of the team.

It was really embarrassing to pull yourself up to one of Husk's stools, ask for the strongest he had, and get served some pineapple juice. He may get a few laughs out of your antics, but you just wanted to fit in.

Sometimes you played with Nifty, since she seemed to be the closest to you in age. Unfortunately, Nifty didn't seem to know any game that didn't involve cleaning or roach mutilation. (how was she even able to find a murderous point of view to Parchis???)

Charlie and Vaggie were too busy managing the hotel and attracting new customers, but you got a feeling they still wouldn't manage to fill that void you seemed to have.

Angel was like the big brother you wished you had had back when you were alive. He loved to gossip with you and Cherri; even when you didn't understand half of what they were saying, it felt nice having some kind of normal teenage stuff around. He also liked to nudge you towards some potential boyfriends, saying that you were in 'in the age' *wink* *wink*. Your dad did not appreciate that.

Alastor wouldn't consider himself a boyfriend blocking dad, Heaven's, no! Just a humble boyfriend murdering dad. So whatever idea of dating or just hanging out with other people your age was out of the question. As soon as you started talking to someone that was in the same age range as you, his shadowy form started to appear behind you and his eyes changed into dials, that was enough for anyone to start running in the opposite direction (he had scared away so many pontential guests it was unreal)

You couldn't even own a phone. Your dad insisted that 'his hotel, his rules'. Any technology that surpassed the 50s was out of the question. (they still didn't have a working phone). If he caught you with one in your hands, specially a VOXTECH phone, even if it was not yours, the battery suddenly started to heat to unbearable levels and you just had to drop it before it exploded in green flames.

Where was the fun loving dad you grew up with? The one that at least had the decency to be a bit more discreet? 'Dead at the prospect of raising a teenage girl!' He liked to say with a laugh.

You talked to Rosie about it, hoping she would talk some sense into him, and he had the nerve to act all innocent and oblivious! Like you were the one being unreasonable!

Somehow, this safe haven had started to become like a prison. You found yourself feeling suffocated and alienated from the others. When you were out there on your own you had lived in fear and trauma, which you hated with all what remained of your heart; but now that you were in a relatively safe place, you felt isolated and trapped. There was no common ground. You needed to breath, to live (or unlive), to enjoy life! You were not a little girl anymore! (҉Y҉e҉s҉ ҉y҉o҉u҉ ҉w҉e҉r҉e҉!҉)҉

So, one day, while helping Nifty clean and hiding from the Radio Demon That Sees It All, you casually stumbled into something very interesting at Lucifer's workshop. It looked like an ancient book, unlike those at the library which you had read and reread over and over again (One could read one too many times Mr. Waddles Goes to Church before it started to get old).

Something in that book drew you towards it, you knew you shouldn't look. It was probably full of ancient demonic knowledge, but maybe a teensy weensy peek wouldn't hurt, right?

Your face lighted up when you opened the book, (and not only because the light was coming from it). There were no words to describe what you found inside. You could see everything inside of it, it was like it was filled with everyone's dreams and hopes, you wondered how something as beautiful as that had ended up in Hell.

Without thinking, you touched the pages which felt warm to the touch. In response to your delicate caress, the pages started shining even brighter. You were so mesmerized by it that you didn't notice how the room was starting to fill with small orbs of light that started moving around you at impossible speeds, like a tornado.

Crafting materials, toy ducks and gizmos were sent around the room due to the force of the movement. But you didn't pay them any attention. There was something truly magical about the orbs' dance. It was enrapturing.

The door shot wide open, revealing Lucifer, Charlie and Vaggie with an horrified look in their faces. They were shouting something at you, but you could barely hear them, too lost in the orbs and their hypnotic dance. So distracted that you didn't feel the chilling presence that joined them until he spoke.

"Y/N, my dear? ." You felt a shiver run down your spine and your heart filled with the fear of a child who knows they have been caught doing something they shouldn't. You could perfectly hear his radio filtered voice, clear as a day, quiet as the calm before the storm. "Step away from that book, cherie. You could get hurt, and we don't want that, do we? ." He spoke with the kind of condescending tone one would use with a little kid.

A new sudden emotion emerged within you, something you had never felt before and never had any need for it. Anger. Who was he to stop you? Why did he always treat you like you were one of his puppets? Like you were another toy he could dress up and command as he pleased? Why couldn't he let you live?.

Feeling braver, probably due to the book's influence, you looked at his red eyes defiantly, once again touching the pages. Despite his permanent smile, you could tell he was getting angrier by the second.

"Y҉/҉N҉" His body was morphing, growing, eyes already changing to those red radio dials that gave you the chills. "I҉ ҉F҉O҉R҉B҉I҉D҉ ҉Y҉O҉U҉-҉"

"No!" You found yourself surprised at your own voice."I lost my life for you, I got sent here because I tried to protect you, I wasted my life because of you!" That last part came a bit more demonic sounding than intended. "Now. I WANT TO LIVE."

And with that, you were enveloped in a bright light and dissapeared.

For a couple of seconds, nobody dared to make a move. After what felt like hours, reality seemed to kick in and everyone sprung into action; Lucifer desperately searching through the pages of a suddenly very uncooperative book, just in case you had been sucked in, Vaggie was already establishing a perimeter around the hotel and search parties, and Charlie, poor sweet Charlie was franctically looking through every single room on that floor.

The only one who hadn't moved yet was Alastor. Already shrunk back to normal size, he seemed completely relaxed and chill in what could be considered an extremely catastrophic situation to any parent.

"Ah, must be those teenage hormones kicking in." His voice sounded as cheery and joyful as always. Almost like he didn't care. Lucifer shot him a venomous look, silently urging him to show a little care for his MISSING DAUGHTER. But Alastor had already retreated back into the shadows and returned to his radio tower.

If only they knew.

The truth was that Alastor cared. Way too much. He sunk his claws into the table while he fought against the deeply buried instinct in him to let himself loose and destroy everything in his path. The chains in his neck, glowed menacingly, a bitter reminder that he wasn't at full power.

He had lost you. Again.

He had you there, close enough to reach and you had vanished before he was able to do something. You had run away.

The mere thought made his hands shake with anger, antlers already growing twice their normal size. How could you? After everything he did for your sake, for your safety, y҉o҉u҉ ҉d҉i҉s҉o҉b҉e҉y҉ ҉h҉i҉m҉??? His smile looked more like a grimace and his eyes were pools of red hot rage. Oh, you were so grounded when he got you back.

Now you were out there, who knows where. All on your own. Defenseless, at the mercy of his many enemies without anyone, HIM, to protect you.

He sent his shadows into the city, he would leave no stone unturned no crackden untouched until he found you. He didn't care who he had to kill, maul or destroy. You would be coming back with him. Only HE could keep you safe, whetever you wanted it or not.

His desperation only grew when his shadows came back empty handed, the crazed look in his eyes combined with the slasher smile only made him look like the deranged psychopath he actually was.

You weren't in the Pride ring. He was even starting to doubt you were in Hell at all. What was the last thing you had said?

His non beating heart gave a painful twist when your parting words echoed in his mind. The bitterness and resentment in your voice hurt his tainted soul in ways no other person could have. His claws dug even deeper in the wood.

No.

All he wanted was to keep you safe back at the hotel, to ensure no one in this hellish landscape ever laid a finger in your delicate skin. He was just being a good father. You may not understand it, and probably never would. That's irrelevant.

He had found you again after nearly ninety years since that fatidic night when he lost it all, he was not going to allow anybody to take you away from him.

A theory started forming in his twisted mind. You had said that you wanted to live. Alastor was no fool, he knew what the Grimoire could do, in fact he had been dying to take a peek himself. Whatever you had wished, would have probably come true. His grin turned sour.

You had gone where he couldn't follow.

The mortal plane.

Who knew the kind of horrors you were facing up there? The kind of fools that would dare to disrespect the child of one of Hell's most powerful overlords?

He couldn't go there, at least not physically. If he could synchronize his radio frequency with the ones on Earth, he may be able to locate you before some fuckwad up there decided to have their way with you.

"We're on air"

#hazbin hotel #alastor #x reader #reader #alastor x reader #hazbin hotel x reader #tw: controlling behavior #tw: possessive behavior

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strongheartneteyam · 11 months

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Realize where you belong.

Pairing: neteyam sully x female!human!reader/female!dreamwalker!reader

Chapter 3

CW: angst, reader is a loner, reader works her ass off every day at the lab, fluff, neteyam being cute towards reader (even tho it still has weird vibes lol), mad jealous neteyam, TRIGGER WARNING for depression symptoms (such as being moody n having less appetite than the usual), stalking, obsessive and toxic behavior, also TRIGGER WARNING for reader mentioning the word “suicidal” in an internal monologue (she IS NOT actually suicidal, she just feels really sad and mentions the word. if u read it, you'll know what I mean)

Not proofread. I'll do it as soon as I can ♡ I hope it's a good chapter 🥲 & thank u to everyone who's reading this fanfic, who left a comment in the last chapter and, of course, to everyone who asked to be in the taglist I LOVE Y'ALL 😘💕💕💕

Chapter 2

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

Mother looking at me

Tell me, what do you see?

Yes, I've lost my mind

(...)

Will I ever be free?

Have I crossed the line?

All the things she said, running through my head

All the things she said (t.A.T.u)

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

You woke up feeling like crap that morning.

Your last shift had been so demanding. You had to cook just so much food that you started to wonder if there was anything left in the pantry. You had gone into that room just so many times yesterday to get ingredients and kitchen utensils, your legs felt heavy and sore now, as you stretched them in your small bed.

There were just too many people to eat in that damn laboratory.

Meanwhile you, the cook, barely had any time left to eat. There was always just so much work to do. So many dishes to wash, so many vegetables and meat to cut, bread to prepare from scratch... Your head hurt just thinking about it.

You felt so stressed out that you preferred to unwind a little instead of eating, sometimes. You would find a quiet place, sit somewhere, put your headphones on and press play on one of your many curated playlists or in one of your favorite songs. Listening to music seemed to work like a medicine to your wounds and, going to the cafeteria and having to socialize, to have people all around you felt too much, so, you just tried to avoid it. You even started to lose a little weight because of it. Nothing too much, though. You were only slightly thinner than you used to be. But in the back of your head, there was always a voice saying "Please, take better care of yourself...". Despite knowing that voice was right, you were too tired and apathetic to care.

Ever since you started to Dreamwalk, it was like your whole world had changed. That old life you led did not seem to be enough anymore. It never was, in the first place. It could never compare to the heightened senses you had when you were in your Avatar, helping you smell and hear everything better.

The first time you spent a whole afternoon running alone through the Pandoran forest next to Hell's Gate, you felt alive like you had not felt in years.

But nothing gold can ever stay. Way sooner than you expected, you had to be awakened from that magical dream. Everytime you came out of the technological machine you had to lay inside of to be able to drive your Avatar, you thought "Damn! Why wasn't I born a na'vi? They're so freaking lucky to have such an incredibly beautiful Planet to call their own. If only Earth was still as beautiful as it used to be..."

When you were not in one of your free days, you would always work until you felt exhausted and fed up with everything. It was not a walk in the park to be a cook. Even though you loved cooking since you were a teenager, when you used to always mix different ingredients and spices and create new recipes, this profession forced you to spend most of your time standing up and to have little time to sit and rest your poor fatigued legs. In some days, all you wanted was to sleep for 12 hours straight. And God knows you were capable of actually doing that.

Not a long time ago, you slept so much that, when you eventually woke up, it was 2 pm and you almost got fired from the lab when you finally showed up at the kitchen you were supposed to be in since 6 am.

You promised yourself you would never do that again. You just could not afford to lose that job. And you wanted to cry just thinking about not being able to Dreamwalk anymore. Exploring Pandora was the peak of your life, currently. It was when you felt high as a kite. As funny as it sounded, it was true. You felt euphoria run through your body everytime you got to have blue skin and be over 8 feet tall.

You liked to cook and was good at it, but, you were a smart, intelligent girl who knew much more than people thought you did. Unfortunately, you could not manage to get a higher position at the lab. Your forte was not sciencey stuff. It was subjects like Human History, Languages, Philosophy... At best, you got to use your language learning skills to learn basic na'vi fast and was able to get an Avatar from the lab. At least that was a good thing that your tiring job provided you. God knows that privilege was one of the few things keeping you alive. You goddamn hated you life, your job, everything... All your days seemed to be the same. Same chores, same annoying people... Most scientists did not try to hide that they did not see you as an equal. Even though they were always really polite to you, they would not let you in in their little groups, in their upbeat conversations through the laboratory corridors. You could count in one hand how many of them used to talk to you with genuine interest in hearing what you had to say.

You sat every day next to the less valued lab employees: janitors, cleaning ladies, other cooks just like you and so on. Your race had never been good at realizing the worth that these hardworking people had, anyway. Why would they do it now? You thought it to be so sad...

Those employees were nice regular people. Even thought some of them were idiots and treated you badly, there are people who behave like that anywhere. You were thankful that most of them were polite to you and treated you well enough. You also had a close friendship with one of the female employees, a cute, humble and really kind girl called Crystal. But she was your only actual friend. You did not remember the last time you had made an actual effort to make a friend, to be nice to someone in hopes you could get to know them better and they could become a part of your life. You had to admit you had been really grumpy lately.

You could easily blame such moodiness on your lack of will to keep living that life you currently had. It’s not that you were suicidal, it's just that you wished you could live a better life.

There was also Derek, the tall, cute boy you would make out with every now and then. You did not have a proper name for your relationship with him. He was always lovely towards you and you two would have really interesting conversations together and sneak around to kiss each other and do other types of heated stuff (though you never had sex with him) anytime you both felt like it. But it did not happen that often, anyway. You did not put much thought into it, to be honest. Derek was just a friend you would fool around with. You could not be farther from being in love with him or anything of sorts.

After another tiresome day, you walked fast towards your room. All you could think about was how nice and cozy your bed would feel when you would lay your body on it. Only five minutes after you finally laid down, you fell asleep. Slumber had been bugging you all day. Lately, it had always been like that.

They say you have to be careful what you wish for. That your words and thoughts have power over what happens to you. And you learned it the hard way.

In one of your infamous busy but boring afternoons, something unexpected happened to you.

Seemingly out of nowhere, a na'vi young man appeared outside of your glass window and tapped slightly on it. You almost choked on your own saliva when you saw that huge, blue creature staring at you with wide yellow eyes. A scream got stuck right in the middle of your throat, since you got so startled you could not get your vocal chords to obey the command your brain was sending them. What the hell was that na'vi doing in front of the laboratory? They did not use to come to Hell's Gate. And why was he looking at you through the kitchen window?

The na'vi boy just would not stop staring at you. His gaze was so intense it made you feel unbelievably uncomfortable. Suddenly, he pointed to the left. The big, ample door that led to the open area in front of the room you worked in was right at the same direction his four fingered hand was pointing to. You realized he was signaling to you that he wanted to see you outside of the lab.

You started to say, in your own mind: "What kind of weird situation is this?"

"Please?" You heard the alien plead in fluent English (he only had a typical na'vi accent), his voice coming through the narrow gap that existed between the glass and the window frame. His eyes reminded you of the eyes of a small kitten asking for food.

You got surprised by the fact that he was able to speak English. You wondered why he had learned it and who taught him the language.

You tried to reach for the door to try and inform someone that there was a na'vi around and ask if anybody knew who he was when you heard the alien say:

"Don't go, please! I just want to talk to you! I'm not gonna hurt you."

Your back was turned to him. When you turned around, he was smiling.

"It's incredible how you're even prettier up close."

"I'm sorry?!" You answered

"Oh, forgive me. My name is Neteyam. Neteyam te Suli Tsyeyk'itan. It's really nice to meet you." He was still smiling.

That name was familiar, Neteyam te Suli... Oh, of course! Neteyam was the son of the Olo'eyktan of the Omatikaya clan, Jake Sully. He was very famous between the na'vi and the humans.

Neteyam Suli was one of the most feared na'vi warriors out there. A great archer and very skilled with the knives the Omatikayas made themselves, he fought fearlessly against the recoms, including Colonel Miles Quaritch, an old enemy of his father. Quaritch used to lead the RDA soldiers when he was human, before being "revived" and given an Avatar body. He died in battle against the na'vi. But that did not mean that there was finally peace between humans and the na'vi race.

But why in hell was Neteyam Suli trying to talk to you? It is not like the na'vi liked the humans. On the contrary, they despised your race.

"Uhmm... okay. Nice to meet you..." You tried to be polite and peaceful towards the na'vi boy, like you were advised to be by your teachers, back when you were studying and training to get your Avatar "But I'm sorry, what did you say? That I'm prettier up close?" Your brows were furrowing, your face full of confusion. Despite all, you were calmer now that you knew you could communicate with him in English. Your na'vi was not the best out there.

"Yes." Neteyam's big amber eyes shone when he looked at your face. You were beyond dazed. "I've seen you before. Many times actually. But only from far away. It doesn't compare to seeing you right next to me." His voice had a weird warm feeling in it, like he was already acquainted to you. But how could it be? You did not even know who he was before he revealed his identity to you.

"When did you see me...?" Your mouth was slightly opened, so bewildered you felt

"Don't you wanna come outside so we can talk better?" He said, seeming excited.

"Unfortunately, no. I'm good, thanks." Neteyam looked sad after you declined his offer.

"Why not? I told you, I'm not gonna hurt you. I promise." He smiled faintly. You could tell he was hurt by your blunt answer.

It pained you to act like that towards him. You admired the na'vi so much. Damn, you even would choose to be born a na'vi if you somehow could go back in time, before you were inside your mother's womb and you could talk to Eywa herself. But how were you gonna trust him? There were some na'vi out there, his mother, for example, that hated humans with such a boiling passion. What if he took after his mother? You would be in trouble if he tried to kill you. Even though the na'vi were a peaceful by nature race, everyone has a limit, so, you had to be careful when interacting with them. You learned about all the genocide your kind had committed against his kind while simultaneously destroying his Planet slowly, in a cruel, despicable way. You honestly understood the contempt the na'vi felt when it came to humans.

You looked at Neteyam with honesty in your eyes and said:

"Please don't take this the wrong way but I can't really trust you. I know you told me you're not gonna hurt me, but, I'm still human. How can I know you trust me, to begin with?"

"I trust you because you're different. You're nothing like the others from your kind. You're more like my people. And I love that about you." Neteyam said, smiling at you.

"Can you please just tell me how do you know me? Because I've never seen you before. I've only heard about you because you're the Olo'eyktan's eldest son and Olo'eyktan to be. But you talk to me like you somehow... know me. I'm really confused, Neteyam." He felt his heart race when he heard you pronounce his name. Your voice sounded so sweet to his sensitive na'vi ears, making him move them somewhat to the sides. It was the same voice he heard in the forest, when he watched you talk to yourself saying how beautiful you thought some yellow, bioluminescent flower that you saw in the grass was.

"You're a Dreamwalker. I've seen you around. I love how much you seem to appreciate and respect my Planet instead of destroying it like the others from your kind do. That's why I think you're more na'vi than human." He chuckled happily and you got confused by his last sentence.

You had to admit he looked cute when his fangs escaped from under his upper lip whenever he smiled or chuckled. But you felt so weird thinking that.

"I'm more na'vi than human?" You were intrigued "What do you mean?" You laughed a bit and he continued on staring at you in an intense manner.

Neteyam heard footsteps approaching, so, he started to move just so he could hide. He did not want any other human but you seeing him. He knew he could not trust them as he could trust you.

"Wait! Where are you -" before you could finish your words, he was already gone.

The brown wooden door behind you opened and Derek appeared carrying a pile of plates in his arms.

"Hey, cutie." He walked towards the sink, leaving the dirty dishes there to be washed by himself when he would be back in the kitchen.

"Hi, Derek." You smiled faintly. You were still recovering from that odd interaction you had with Neteyam Sully.

Derek came close to your ear and whispered:

"Feel like meeting me tonight? I miss you." You sighed

"I don't know... I'm not really in the mood, sorry." You answered, uninterested

He got a little surprised by your answer and moved his eyebrows up, making wrinkles appear in his forehead but quickly remembered he had much work to do outside, so, he walked towards the door and got out of the room without saying another word to you.

Neteyam was still out there, next to the window, leaning against the wall. He was listening to the conversation the whole time. He had to use all the self control he learned to have with the years to not hiss when he heard that human call you "cutie" and ask if you wanted to meet him tonight. Who was he, anyway? And why was he saying he missed you? Neteyam had never seen you show any sign that he was your mate before. He had to find out what was going on. Neteyam would not let anyone get between the both of you. It would not be a weak human male that would be the obstacle that would make him give up on his future mate. He was used to challenges and was not afraid of another one. That would probably even be fun. Neteyam could imagine that tiny mate of yours shivering in fear when he showed him his big, sharp fangs.

Neteyam decided he was gonna find out who the hell that mate of yours was. He was sure he was not better than him. That human male would never be as strong as he was. That human would never be able to hunt fresh food for you, walking through the forests of Pandora and confronting big, dangerous animals, like Neteyam would. He knew he outbraved that human. He could never be a good mate to you like Neteyam could be. You deserved better than him.

༊⁀➷

Taglist:

@xylianasblog @samistars @crazy4books1 @nerdybouquetofkittens-blog @explosiongamora @lik0 @your-girl-mj @darktyrantwinner @xxunnie @sereisstuff @yeosxxx @die4niyahhh @henhouse-horrors @lala-1516 @iman-lu @manumanulau @im-in-a-pansexual-panik @hana-yuri

I tagged some of you that did not ask to be tagged but left really cute comments on the last chapter that made my heart feel warm 💓 if u don't wanna be tagged, just lemme know

Also, if someone wants to be added to the taglist too just leave a comment below saying that 🤍

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toomanyopinionss · 7 months

Text

I want to talk about

Surviving Summer

(nonspoiler/spoiler)

hey y’all, it’s been a minute since i’ve done one of these. let’s get into it…😏

So i genuinely like this show. Just finished watching the second season, in fact.

I feel like it’s the good amount of cheesy and adorable and mind numbing without being too formulaic and basic like some of these Netflix originals tend to be. Now it can be annoying and cringy sometimes, don’t get me wrong. But it’s got some pretty good actors and actresses with enough heartfelt moments and playful scenes to make one feel content. She’s not a top ten, but she never tries to be, you know??

As for the show itself? Surviving Summer is the perfect name for it, because Summer the character? a HOT mess. I cannot stress this enough, the frontal lobes on that one are not fully formed. It’s especially apparent in season 1. Even so, i love her 🥰. I cant help it ok? She has the confidence that i dreamed of having in high school, and now tbh.

I won’t go to deep into every character, but let me just say this: they will ALL annoy you at some point. It’s so obvious that they’re teenagers, cuz they childish. But they all care about each other most of the time, and surfing. It’s a great summer watch! go for it, don’t be shy

7.5/10. Surface level fun with shenanigans galore and annoying teenagers.

SPOILERS

Y’all the second season was gooood. I liked it better than the first tbh. Summer, like i said before was much more serious and focused, but it didn’t change her personality at all, which i loved.

I liked how they got more into Bodhi’s conflicts with surfing and the racism in the industry on her end. If anything, i wish they had time to do even more with it. Because everything else they did with her character this season was just bleh. A half hearted conflict between poppy blown WAY out of proportion and a half assed queer relationship that was cute but barely touched on because hottake Netflix hates their wlws and their black main characters 🤭(oop who said that)

Poppy and marlon were cuteeeee. sidenote, who else forgot that bodhi and marlon had a thing, cuz i sho did 👀. they have such good chemistry and it just warmed my heart. SPEAKING of good chemistry…

✨“summer have you seen yourself?”

summer and baxter are the only mf choice, im SORRY.

immediately side eyeing anyone who says that summer and ari should be together, because i’m not sure you and i watch the same show. another steaming take, but I never bought into summer and ari. they are too sibling for me. i was taken ABACK when they kissed in season one. I genuinely did not see it coming. they play off each other nicely, but in a romantic way? NOPE, i don’t buy it.

but from the first scene with baxter and summer, i knew. it was intense. the casual touches, the instant bind they formed, the way bax looks at her 🤭…

you cannot compete where you don’t compare, Ari is not the one 🤷🏾‍♀️

anyone else? hmmm…

oh, y’all join me in a big FVCK you to Elo and Wren. they both suck actual ass and i hate them both.

it’s the way that they treat everyone like shit equally. even their own brother? like what the fvck is wrong with them?

like especially wren. being jealous and overly competitive is one thing. but they way she handled the bodhi situation, plus the way she outed her old teammate? literally bordering on racist and homophobic like wtffff. maybe a lil psychotic too, cuz why is she literally a threat to summer’s life? don’t take it out on her cuz your boyfriend is an indecisive disaster. at least they didn’t give wren a redemption, i would have been so pissed off like fvck her.

ok this is getting long. tldr, Season 2 was entertaining and fun. poppy and marlon were cute, summer was awesome, ari does not need a girlfriend, justice for baxter, and wren and elo will not be seeing the pearly gates.

#surviving summer #surviving summer netflix #netflix #2023 #sky katz #summer x baxter #summer x ari #poppy x marlon #baxter radic #summer torres

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zalrb · 2 months

Text

OTH Rewatch Review 3x07

IIIIIII DON'T WANNA BE ANYTHING OTHER THAN WHAT I'VE BEEN TRYNA BE LATELYYYYYYYYY

Jesus Christ

So, like, here's the thing about this fucking Inception dream sequence. What is happening? Is Nathan dreaming about Haley making out with Brooke after waking up from a nightmare about Lucas and Chris in bed together after Lucas woke up from dreaming about being in bed with Brooke? Because it's a dream within within a dream. I don't know what your subconscious is like Nathan.

Nathan's grin. I mean, technically you've slept with both of them. AND HALEY'S SISTER.

"What is she doing talking to that troll?" "By troll do you mean Peyton?" Oh, Haley. How I love you sometimes.

Because Peyton fucking SUCKS.

"I'm over possessive-best-friends-with-weird-lesbian energy. And Haley!" That was actually a good delivery but if anyone has the lesbian energy here, it's Brooke and Rachel.

"Well, at least somebody wanted me." Oh, preteen Zal was SO frustrated with this ENTIRE storyline.

"HALEY, YOUR BOYFRIENDS ARE HERE." lol.

"You look so..." "Overdressed." Good delivery. But also Haley, my girl, the SUN is out, why are you wearing a little black dress?

I mean "little black dress" this is still OTH.

They really felt uncomfortable in the clothes they had to wear??

This is so dumb, she's clearly going out with Nathan and Haley too, Lucas.

YOU ALL HAVE CELL PHONES. CALL HER.

Ugh, Skills.

"I've been on kinky dates before..." with who? I guess s1 Nathan would've done something weird.

Remember how s1 Nathan was like a legit emotionally, verbally abusive villain?

"Let's spring [the senior in the nursing home]! It's just a couple of hours, what harm could it do?" If this was a dark comedy, he'd die.

Chris tipping a random woman on the beach and slapping her ass is just ... ugh. She should've slapped him. Alas, Mark Schwahn.

Haley having a quiet but profound breakdown. Brooke, "It's OK. Let's just go to the mall." And she is being helpful and it is very sweet but that's also hilarious. Uhhh, sorry that your wedding spot is being destroyed, let's just go to the mall instead. You know? Nothing profoundly sad happens at the mall.

"I can't believe she's doing this." IT WAS A GROUP DATE, LUCAS.

"This guy has caused a lot of trouble, Brooke knows that." Lucas, the people that he caused trouble between WERE WITH HER GETTING INTO THE CAR. YOU SAW THEM.

I swear to god Lucas, I would hit you. SHUT UP.

24. Braley are such better friends than Breyton.

25. I REALLY wish we got more Nathan and Brooke scenes because they had a really fun chemistry together and I liked that they were both being courted by Haley and Lucas and they could both understand where the other was coming from

26. Haley's laugh at Chris saying "Maybe he's afraid of me" is hilarious because she stops and continues. But Chris shutting her up with "Maybe he doesn't care anymore" was mean but well-played.

27. It's funny how Chris Keller is a better Damon than Damon. Because he's not a good actor but he doesn't overplay it.

28. Aww, jealous Nathan

29. James Lafferty's shoulders are quite broad this episode.

30. Nathan is vulnerable and you were practically giving the enemy a LAP DANCE. I mean she wasn't Brooke but the exaggeration is very Brooke and also very high school. I remember in high school we were at a school dance and this girl's boyfriend was getting jumped outside while she was dancing with another guy and all of us girls were like WHAT THE FUCK??? [INSERT NAME] IS GETTING JUMPED AND YOU WERE BASICALLY HAVING SEX ON THE DANCE FLOOR! What did we expect her to do? Get jumped with him?? Teenagers.

31. "I didn't do anything!" "Except for kiss Chris and run away with him?" I mean, she's got a point Haley. "What about you messing with Lucas and hiding all those letters you wrote to him under your bed?" I mean, she's got a point Brooke.

32. "I know this is where we made love in the rain." I mean, it wasn't ON the balcony though. It should've been.

33. "I still feel our past just like you do" well especially considering that you were the one who was left.

34. Rachel calling Lucas gay because he's CLEARLY into Brooke and is like please stop getting naked around me because I LOVE BROOKE is hilarious because what?

35. Chris also getting Brooke more and more drunk so they can have sex is incredibly gross.

36. "All of the celebrity..." she had ONE original song and was doing covers and opening for actual celebrities? WHAT ARE WE TALKING ABOUT HERE?

37. We could also talk about the fact that Nathan was the one who encouraged her to sing in front of people etc. etc. and she wouldn't have been a "star" without him in her life at all.

38. Mouth's reveal that Mel is his grandfather is ... OK? I know this is supposed to push Peyton to Ellie but meh.

39. "SHE NOTEBOOKED YOU?" "I totally Notebooked him" lmao these references.

40. Nathan keeping a flower from the beach is Lucas keeping a feather from Brooke's wings.

41. *SIGH* Brooke and Chris. What, it takes like two more episodes for them to be together?

42. I also absolutely do not believe that Brooke wouldn't have kicked Chris out of the house right after sleeping with him. She'd be disgusted.

#rewatch

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thesoulbound · 8 months

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( starer from @no-imaveronica )

1992 was an odd thing to say. It rolled off of the tongue with a tinge of guilt that Veronica couldn’t avoid. She’d gotten away with the worst of the worst, blood on her hands that stained into a new decade, yet here she was living without a trace of evidence pointing her way for all of those deaths back at Westerburg. For all everyone knew, they’d all been unfortunate losses in an epidemic of teenage depression that had ‘just grazed’ Veronica, according to her parents. Now, she was thriving, yet the memories made her sometimes wake in a cold sweat.

The dreams were pretty vivid, even though Jason Dean was dead. She saw him clawing his way from the loose ground in which he’d likely been interred, if his father cared enough to bury him. Baying for her blood, maybe, or another chance to make things right if only to add her name to the list of victims in red ink later. She had to remind herself it was impossible, taking cautions to avoid waking Wesley in the middle of the night with her frantic nightmares. Guilt is what anyone would call it, but she’d done her best to move forward in a neat little one bedroom outside of Brooklyn with a Wall Street trader. Their life was good, and she had to play it off accordingly.

Days she didn’t have classes at the local community college left her home alone until about six in the evening when Wesley would be lugging in after a trip on the subway across the bridge, but today things were different. Seven came, then eight…

Rather than sit idle, she grabbed her coat and was about to open the door to exit when she came face to face with her nightmare in the flesh. Jason Dean. It had to be a hallucination, at least she hoped.

“No— NO. I’m awake and I have things to do and you’re not real.”

He shouldn’t have been alive after the damage she’d witnessed him take firsthand, but as she hurried out of the apartment, the physical contact with his form that she tried to walk right through made her hands come to her mouth and had her whirling around to face him with a gasp and horror in her eyes.

“How…?”

It had taken a long time to get to where he was today. It was kind of a miracle really considering going under the radar after being rightfully blamed for trying to blame up one of his old schools had been easier said than done. In the beginning at least. He was believed to be dead so that helped a ton.

The problem had been his father. Dealing with him hadn't been easy. Not because he cared, but JD had made an attempt to get as much money out of him as possible before he would put a bullet in him and make it seem like an accident.

Once that was done there were years on the road. Growing up. Growing better... or worse... who knew... At least growing up and moving away made it easier so shred the JD of Sherwood, Ohio. Without the gloomy dark hair and trench coat wearing teen angst look he looked almost approachable.

He hadn't even intentionally looked for Veronica at first until this very year. Surprising her would be mildly hilarious though she surprised him first by appearing out the door before he could even knock. Raising an eyebrow when she seemed to think she could push through him. "Bet I feel pretty real though," he winked.

@no-imaveronica

#noimaveronica #ch:jd

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amyintherapy · 3 months

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Darkness, Neglect, Shame, Dissociation

I've been struggling emotionally. The nice thing is that I'm far enough along in therapy that I know it's just part of the cycle that comes with facing trauma in therapy. Sometimes I get far enough with discussing trauma that it just puts me into this dark headspace. I had clinical depression as a teenager, and it's not as bad as that, so I hesitate to call it depression - but it's somewhat along those lines.

I want to sleep way too much, and when I sleep I tend to have a lot of nightmares. Or sometimes I just wake up sad and/or anxious without remembering anything I've dreamed about. Everyday tasks require way more effort than they usually do. Like bricks are tied to my feet and arms. It takes a lot of effort to make myself cook even the simplest of meals, to shower, or to play with the cat even when she brings me the toy she loves to play fetch with. She's so cute it hurts, but it still takes effort to play with her when I'm in a dark phase like this.

My mind tosses around childhood memories/trauma on repeat, but it's hard to really put into words. I have to really push myself to open up to my partner about my thoughts and feelings, I usually share with him pretty effortlessly. It's not that I'm trying to block people out, it's just that converting my thoughts and feelings into words others can understand feels extra challenging. Like...I'm not resistant to sharing with him or with a couple of close friends...but I just don't know how. Yet when I have taken the time to figure out how to turn some of those thoughts and feelings into words for him, I feel better. So I've been trying to keep reaching for that. I believe a lot of what I'm experiencing is uncovered shame. I had seen some therapists talk about how trauma is always closely linked with shame, but that we often don't notice it.

I had the realization a couple of weeks back that a lot of my anxiety is rooted in shame. I've also come across content that has talked about having an insecure attachment (aka attachment trauma) is something that tends to leave people with chronic shame because when we failed to develop a secure attachment with our caregivers as infantats, we have to adapt ourselves to try to earn connection. But that means we betray our authentic selves in some way, we put on an act to be what we think we need to be for our caregivers. And that sends us the message that our authentic self is somehow unworthy or not good enough of being connected with, accepted, deeply loved, as-is - which makes us ashamed of who we are. One of the biggest things I'm wrestling with related to my childhood emotional neglect and shame is whether I can trust my own perspective on my childhood. My more logical brain believes that childhood emotional neglect is extremely common. Roughly half of all people have an insecure attachment, and that stems from lacking emotional attunement, which I Think can be considered emotional neglect. But also, common parenting practices completely normalize emotional neglect. Most of the authoritarian parents I know outright expect their children to deny their own beliefs and feelings in favor of obeying the parents' directions or commands. Even among people who I think of as trying to step away from things like demanding obedience and using corporal punishment...many parents still routinely deny their children's feelings and beliefs for the sake of trying to maintain authority. For example, their toddler son snatches a toy from the 5 year old daughter, and the daughter hits her brother in return. The parent yells at the daughter for hitting her brother and she says 'I was so mad he took my toy!' and the parents refuse to validate her anger because they are focused on how her behavior was unacceptable. Which...yes, it's wrong to hit. But you can validate the feeling without validating the behavior, and a lot of even 'gentler' parents don't recognize this, so they routinely invalidate their children - and that's emotional neglect. Extremely normalized, and usually well-intentioned...but emotional neglect when that happens to a child routinely throughout their childhood.

And it makes so much sense when I remember that for young children, their parents are their #1 support person. The way that for most adults, their spouse is. Imagine if the majority of the time that you had big feelings and shared them with your spouse, or your spouse even just witnessed you having big feelings, they disagreed with you about your feelings. Wouldn't you feel so alone and unsupported? Plus you have to factor in that for children, they are born wired to do anything possible to maintain connection with their parents as their little bodies know that they are dependent on their parents for survival. So when they are routinely dismissed and invalidated, they don't think "man, this person is so uncaring! I don't deserve to be dismissed all the time! What a jerk!" they instead think "Man, I am always wrong, I am broken, I can't do anything right." When I think about an example like that in the context of anyone else, it makes sense to me to call that emotional neglect. I know a lot of children who pretty clearly are lacking a sense of safety and closeness with their parents, as they don't go to them when they really need support. For example, they get bullied at school but never tell their parents as they just assume the support won't be there. So many kids feel so alone, and it's due to their needs being neglected so regularly that they don't attempt to keep connections with their parents. Or in worse cases, it's not just that they are lacking support, but that their parents are the source of suffering, so there is no reason to think they could get support if just avoiding being harmed by their parents is the goal. I don't mean to compare or measure traumas, but I don't know how to make the point I need to make without doing so. So please know that I am not at all trying to diminish other people's neglect experiences.

But I think it makes sense to say that a child who regularly had their big feelings invalidated or dismissed was emotionally neglected. Even if they also were given support in some other ways. And my situation goes a lot deeper than that, and yet it's hard for the more emotional side of my brain to accept that it's reasonable to say I was emotionally neglected. For example, even when my mom learned that I was cutting myself, she never asked me what was going on or tried to offer me support. Instead, I was yelled at - and then we pretended nothing was happening for several months. Once a teacher caught on and sent me to the school counselor, they told my mom I needed to see a therapist, and so she set me up with one. But she still never talked to me about my mental health, why I was cutting myself, etc. Even after my therapist pushed me to get on meds for depression, she never paid any attention to whether or not I was taking my meds. She never met with my therapist to find out how I was doing, although she had that right as I was only 14. When she found out about my sexual abuse, she never asked me about it, never offered me any support. To this day I've never discussed it with her. How do you find out that your child was sexually abused and not even talk to them about it? The only time I can recall ever attempting to go to my mom for emotional support or help was when my stepfather was repeatedly making creepy comments about my body. I was 9 and starting to experience very early puberty. I was desperate for him to stop. She had been around when things were said, but had never reacted. I stupidly assumed she must not understand just how upsetting this was for me. And I desperately needed it to stop. So one day while in the car alone with her I worked up the courage to say I was really upset by him always talking about my body. I had a hard time even speaking this to her as I was crying so hard. Her response was that he was "just noticing that I was growing up". He continued to be a creep, she never said anything. I wasn't stupid enough to try to get emotional support from her ever again. The logical side of my brain says that it is beyond reasonable to call my experiences emotional neglect. In one therapy appointment, I mentioned to my therapist that I had realized that I Didn't have a working definition for what emotional neglect meant. Several years back, it had occurred to me that I had working definitions for physical child abuse and emotional child abuse that were very much based on my own experiences. I basically was defining physical abuse in a way that would leave loopholes for my experiences so that I didn't 'qualify' as physically abused. And same for emotional abuse. But I don't even have a definition of emotional neglect, and I think that is because there is no way I could define emotional neglect that wouldn't include me. And yet...the emotional side of my brain is so strong and loud that it somehow feels incorrect to say that. A large, emotional part of me feels like my childhood was quite normal. And I know that 'normal' mostly just means 'common' and that how common something is, has no difference in how traumatic (or not) it was. Logically I know my brain is just grasping at straws, trying to avoid seeing the truth in full detail. Trying to protect me from that pain of accepting the truth. But it's weird because the logical side of me knows already. I don't feel like I am effectively protected from the truth. I just also can't fully accept it, or feel it as true with my whole brain. When I Talk about the neglect, I automatically dissociate and that makes it pretty impossible to FEEL like what I'm thinking is true, as my brain and my body become disconnected. My mind knows the truth, but I don't really FEEL it as true. It still feels false somehow.

In the past, when I've had these days/weeks of feeling 'stuck' in a dark headspace following trauma therapy, it's followed with periods of significant growth and improvement. So, that's my silver lining - that I'm probably in a big phase of growth right now. The whole 'its always darkest before the dawn' concept. But, I am tired of feeling 'dark', and of having so many nightmares. I can tell my partner is missing the regular me, although he's extremely supportive of me and the work I'm doing. I miss the regular me too. And I miss having energy for more than just survival. I have two therapy appointments this week, maybe they'll help me find my way back to regular me.

#my posts #trauma #emotional neglect #attachment trauma #insecure attachment #ptsd #cptsd #childhood emotional neglect #shame

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soccerpunching · 7 months

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ermm:33 general opinion on YuuYuu (Yuuka/Yuuichi) plez \(^0^)/,,,

HELLO YUUYUU ARTIST!!!!! <3

I mean, to start, Yuuichi reminds me a lot of my partner. So there's an obvious strong bias in my opinion of him.

And 2. back when i first watched inago (i was maybe 15/16???) I have both a plush and crush on Yuuka and Yuuichi. Idk theyre just so pretty and i love their vibe, I WAS IN AWE

And theyre both so cool to me and they have a lot of similarities... so right off the bat, i'm telling you that i love them sm, i loved them for years, and that i would die for yuuyuu

To take this more seriously, I feel so much for their characters and where they stand in the narrative.

Everybody knows this but i will mention it... they were both made to be the motivation for two similar deuteroganists. They are the motivation, the anchor, and a literary device that reflects the foundation of those main characters. To exist as them automatically means that they are and will always be attached to another character in content importance and would rarely have the screentime alone if at all (yuuka is even abysmal in this respect).

In personality, i think these two are the same way as their purpose in the series.

Yuuka introduces herself as Yuuka in go. Without the surname. I understand the intent for that scene of course, she was actively avoiding calling herself a Gouenji since her brother's poorly kept secret will be known. But I imagine this is just how she introduces herself even before fifth sector.

She's not doing this because she's timid or anything related to teenage rebellion, Gouenji just have A LOT of weird fans that she would rather not call their attention. There are also some who just wanted to be close to her to get a chance to see Gouenji. She really genuinely thinks her brother is cool and still supporta him and loves him so much but his fans are just... so weird that it's sometimes hard to show her support of him in public. But she sometimes think her brother is living a bigger life purpose than her (she would not help him in go if she didnt think this and she may also be there to make sure he's taking care of himself).

Anyway, Shuuya is important to Yuuka because in her eyes, he (and Fuku) raised her. I think by the time her middle school graduation came by, she already realized this and asked Shuuya to be there for her instead (tired of hearing that their father is too busy for them) and Shuuya would have been emotional about this for days. That's how I think Yuuka herself put more importance in Shuuya for better or for worse.

In Yuuichi's case, I think he always talks about Kyousuke. Whether you initiated the talk about Kyousuke or not, he will be mentioned. He will come up. Yuuichi talks a lot about the shared dream he and his brother have and how amazing kyousuke is. Even without his alternate version in CS confirming this, I think Yuuichi believe that Kyousuke plays a greater role in the world than him.

There is something a bit inferior with how both Yuuka and Yuuichi see themselves compared with their brothers but because of the love and support that they get, I think they're dealing with this really well and are going to be fine.

But just with that, i can already say that these two have an incredible potential to have the deepest understanding of each other. They would know each other in a level that no other person could. If there was at least one canon content of them i would have been obsessed with this ship.

Yuuyuu is a crackship that has too many connections to be considered as one

Technically yuuyuu is a crackship because they dont have a single interaction and have not been in the same frame before. But is it really??

Funny thing about yuuyuu is that their roads are meant to cross even if you follow canon. Just the relevance of being both needing a physical therapist for years as a minor (yuuka would need go visit the PT even after she fully recovers at least annually for a few years for check ups and drills) in the same hospital alone is enough to make these two at least have a physical familiarity to each other. Yuuka also would have visited katsuya at least once for something or waited for him around the hospital. And these are all outside canon alone.

They could even meet in the duration of the last parts of inago too when yuuka often called kyousuke over. Or even dueing or in between cs and galaxy. My point is that these two live in a really small world that it's impossible for them to not meet. Even all the canon information they both have would agree that they know each other even if it's just from their faces.

They have the same hobbies and interests and they both love Gouenji Shuuya

Yuuka would appreciate to meet a non-weird gouenji fan once or someone who genuinely wants to be friends with her that's not because of her brother (she does have friends like these tho ofc, but she appreciates having more). I know yuuichi would be the first fan who doesnt talk about gouenji like he's some badass lord of fire.

Aside this fact (this is hc territory), I'm a strong believer that both yuuka and yuuichi are really interested in humanities, social affairs and politics. You can't be disabled and not be humanitarian. It comes with how shitty the state and some people treats you, i think their interests align just so sooo well. (Adding also my hyperverbal autistic yuuka headcanon here too)

#oh wow thank you for this #i again dont know how to end this post sdagsdafdaa #i have so many things to say abt yuuyuu #they are also one of my first ships i think #inazuma eleven #inazuma eleven go #halftime lore #pxnky-prxmise #yuuyuu #gouenji yuuka #julia blaze #tsurugi yuuichi #vlad blade #lore talks abt ie #ie imagined by lore

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knngseulgi · 2 years

Text

Seven minutes in heaven

pairing: Eddie Munson x oc (Cecilia Henderson)

note: sorry if this isn’t perfect (it’s literally the first time i post) - also excuse any typos english is not my first language. I just don’t actually like using reader/ y/n so i made an oc for this one. Hope you have fun reading!

second note: this sh1tty tumblr editor probably ate some paragraphs so it’s possible i’ll edit this but yeah - also idk why the spacing in this sucks so bad but anyways. Maybe I’ll post other prompts for the same oc when i write.

word count: 1.7k

warnings: none (it’s basically just fluff and some making out yeah so :)

“Why this face, dolly?” Eddie said, closing the door behind him and looking at his bestfriend’s surprised face.

“It’s just that you’re definitely not who I was expecting to be playing 7 minutes in heaven with”

“Sorry to break your heart” Eddie leaned into the wall and made a pouty face.

“Nah, it’s okay. Better be you than some idiot trying to get in my pants. Sorry to ruin some hookup for you, though”

“You really think something would happen if some girl entered here?”

“Why not?”

“Cece, you’re my only female friend. Maybe you should wonder why”

“What? So you don’t think you can pull a cheerleader or something?”

“Definitely not.”

“Yeah, I just thought about what I said right now, never mind” She giggled a little and leaned against the door, crossing her arms. And looked at his glassy eyes smiling softly at her. What kind of idiotic girl wouldn’t kiss his pretty mouth, she dared to think. But since Hawkins are basically 98% made of idiots, and his beautiful smile was usually hidden beneath leather and metal, it would be of expectancy that no one actually cared. In fact, it was better they didn’t care. Because then his smile would be hers and hers truly - that’s what she thought. Even though she didn’t want to show. Even though Eddie was her bestfriend. Even though she sometimes wished he was something else.

“You know it’s every hawkins teenage boy’s dream to be in here, right? Even Jason and Andy from the team. The smart shy girl in cheerleading that just happens to be so stunning it’s bewitching.” Eddie leaned in to get close to her face to see her better. “And yet here you are huh, locked with your bestfriend that already spends too much time alone with you”. Her eyes wandered his details, searching for any weaknesses that she could grab to tease him. That’s how it worked between them, she thought. Lots of tease, no actual doing. Maybe he should do something this time - she thought.

“Though you could’ve easily refused to come. That must mean something, hm, sweetie? Or you thought you were going to meet Narnia when you opened the door?” She grabbed Eddie by the belt and pulled him closer, putting her hands ever so slightly on his shoulders.

“Sometimes this pretty mouth of yours just needs to know when to shut up”

“Oh, so you think I have a pretty mouth, huh?” She leaned in so close to his face she could feel his breath.

“I’d say it’s kissable even.”

“Well then maybe you should make a move. You probably have - what now - 4 minutes, maybe? Doesn’t leave much for a good kiss, I suspect.” She looked at an imaginary watch in her wrist and giggled. She always giggled.

“Cece, I’m not kidding.” He looked through her eyes and made that face that looked like he dissected her brain and found out about all of her dirty thoughts behind it. She didn’t even realize she frowned her face at him. And for a moment they just stood there in silence.

Eddie thought that was already heaven. To see her so close and yet so distant. Seemed like a prize from the gods. Like his own little taste of sugar syrup, before the medicine hits and she makes an incite to say she’s kidding again. And then he falls from heaven - hitting the ground one more time. But just for one flimsy moment - one tiny little moment - he actually thought about it. About how things would be if closets and cheerleading and Hawkins and popularity were so so distant she would actually accept being a part of his heaven - he didn’t even care if it was just for seven minutes. His childhood bestfriend, that just so happened to be the girl of his dreams, right there, two inches from him. And still just so far he could try forever and not even once meet what he thought she deserved. That’s how it was for him. But then she laughed again - and made that pretty face she always had on - a way to tell him to come back to reality. He didn’t know what to say this time.

“…”

“What now?” She pouted at him.

“Don’t look at me like that - Jesus Christ woman - am I that bad?” Eddie turned his head in a childish way and touched his heart with his right hand. She laughed at his statement.

“We are conspicuously close for me to even lie and say I wouldn’t kiss you right now”

“I don’t even know what conspicuously means”

“It’s like when something is like very visible- y’know? Like it attracts attention?” He got closer, trying to meet her unattentive eyes that wandered everywhere but his face. “My shy girl” - Eddie thought - his own very personal poison.

“So you are conspicuous, I get it”

“I guess that’s sorta correct?” She giggled and smiled. Like a dart in his heart.

“Good. How many minutes, pretty girl?”

“Maybe three. But you can just lock the door, y’know.” She finally had the guts to look at him. Jesus Christ those godamn three inches between their faces never looked so fucking far.

“I don’t think closets lock from inside”

“The one at my house does.“ She touched his cheek gently.

“That’s ‘cause your mom thinks the world is gonna end three times a week” Eddie brought the hand that was deposited in his cheek to his lips and kissed it affectionately.

“Or maybe she’s in favour of best friends making out inside them.”

“…”

“Are you in favour of best friends making out inside very tiny closets that smell like naphthalene?”

“In some situations it may seem fair enough” She shrugged and grinned at him “Like if they were to play seven minutes in heaven, I suppose”.

“Why d’ya always act like a menace and then shrug if off - I can never know if it’s serious or not”

“I’m not a menace.” She frowned at him again using those doe eyes that he endeared so much “You’ll never know if you don’t try”.

“Please, please, please don’t hate me” He got so very close to her lips and looked into her eyes. Those pretty fucking eyes that sunk inside his head and took his soul out.

“I’d never hate you, silly.” She gave Eddie a quick pluck in the lips and wandered through his eyes.

And then he kissed her. The seared lips vibrating together in a way that felt like butterflies hammering his stomach and made his body tingle. And she sighed like it was the first time she was breathing pure air. His gentle hands on both sides of her face, killing softly any type of insecurity that aired inside her. Her fingers ever so slightly touching his curls - god she loved those curls so much. These tiny strands of hair that looked so random and yet so very carefully placed. She loved them. She loved him.

Eddie’s lips quickly turned into a grin - deepening the kiss until his tongue grazed over her plush bottom lip - a soft plea for more. Then the hand that rested on her face eased down to her waist so he could pull himself closer. She just wanted to sink into him. Eddie darted his tongue and flickered it on hers - “God could kill me right now so I’d die happy” he thought.

Her hands that rested on his shoulders brushed over his chest to rest on the button of his jeans vest and play with it and they both opened their eyes - making the air feel so solid you could cut it with a knife. She gazed over her own hands - playing with the hem of his vest. Eddie looked over her again - smiling so softly she felt a rush of blood to every single cell of her body.

“What? Don’t tell me you’re shy now - i can see the redness in ur cheeks from here”

“The light is too dim for you to see it - stop lying, Munson”

“I’m Munson now, huh? No Eddie, no sweetie?” He looks tall from over her and grins - “so fucking cocky”, she thinks. He pecks her lips repeatedly, like if he’s trying to stop her from talking.

“Like if you don’t call me Henderson” She says when he moves to her jaw and brushes his lips there so fucking taunting.

“I’ll change your name then” He grazed his lips downwards, pressing them towards her neck, and kissed her- “maybe i’ll call you a witch - cause you threw a spell on me” and kissed her again “or a siren - because you lured me” and again “or maybe even Arwen - though I would be the one to leave any type of paradise if you weren’t with me” and kissed her neck on that sweet spot just near her ear so that he could whisper for only her to hear:

“I love you Cece. I love you, I love you, I love you. I love you so much my heart feels like it’s sinking. And my hands sweat and my body tingles. I don’t care - I don’t care if you don’t love me back - because loving you is already the closest i’ve ever been to heaven.” Eddie breathed out. And then there it was - the mortifying silence between them as they looked right into each other. Just two stupid kids doing stupid kids stuff inside an unbearably tiny closet.

“I think we’re in here for way over seven minutes”

“Jesus fucking Christ after everything I said that’s the first think you think off I-“

“I love you too, Munson.” She gave him a peck on the lips back, like if returning a favor. She touched her forehead on his shoulder and grazed her hand on his arm. “I love you too”.

“Cece I-“

And then the infamous knock on the door. “Hey you love birds it’s been a long time is everything okay in there?” A familiar voice asked. Eddie held her head with his hand gently so that he could whisper on a raspy tone that made her feel like the only one in the world - “Never been better”.

#eddie munson #eddie munson x original character #eddie munson fluff #stranger things #stranger things oc #stranger things prompts #eddie munson x oc #eddie munson x henderson!reader #stranger things season four #stranger things s4 #eddie munson fanfic #y/n henderson #eddie munson oneshot #eddie munson imagine #stranger thing imagine #eddie munson x female original character #stranger things fluff

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alaska386 · 1 year

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F!Bsd anime watcher in the bsd world…

Brief information for the F!bsd anime watcher(I’ll name her Victoria cuz I say so):

-Name: Victoria [last name I’ll just type ‘XXX’ in the introduction time(s)]

-Gender: Female, Pronouns: She/Her

-Age: 14 years old (idk how to write thoughts, behaviour, moods, goals that are ‘mature’ like adults’ ones cuz idk what they think so I set her as a teenager for myself to write this thing easier)

-Ability: Yall are gonna vote on if she’s gonna have an ability from nowhere

-Sexuality: Bisexual

-Nationality: Chinese(I don’t wanna accidentally write some racist stuff if I say American or British or whatsoever)

-Languages she knows/understands/speaks: Chinese/Mandarin/Putonghua(Don’t worry I won’t make her speak Chinese in the story-), fluent English

-Likes: Music(Classical, Relaxing ones are her preferences), Anime and Mangas(not patient enough to read a full series without skipping some chapters, just like me fr), desserts and snacks, nature sceneries, rainy days(the louder the rain the better), knives, comfy clothes

-Dislikes: Dogs, pain, school, homework, studying, bitter pills, loud people and noises

-Hobbies: drawing on a paper and in a drawing app, singing, family stuff, *being read like an open book*

-Appearance: dark brown hair and eyes, around Kenji’s height

-Main bsd kins: Dazai, Ryunosuke, Kyouka, Sigma(always in the middle of some arguments and shits)

-Personality: Has social anxiety, rather quiet, sometimes can’t express herself fluently but tries to and tries to hide the things she thinks she should. Thinks quite negatively, does not fully show it as well, gets nervous easily but doesn’t show it often as well(which Ranpo, Dazai and some other smart/manipulative characters can definitely realise/see through)

Extra: she trusts fate

Btw her character settings some are actually based off mine cuz I figure that it’ll be easier to write this if I imagine her as myself and I’ve imagined myself in the bsd word many times.

Fanfic starts now.

Victoria, who’s a student in a religious school, was sitting on her seat in her classroom during a break before another class started. She was just staring, playing and snapping her fingers while ignoring how loud the classroom was due to how loud her classmates were shouting, yelling and talking to each other. Then, Victoria found herself sitting on a bench instead of the chair in her classroom, she looked up and saw that she was in an unknown but familiar place, she blinked and looked at her surroundings. It looked like the world of an anime she’s currently loving, Bungou stray dogs.

Victoria pov

This… If I’m correct it’s one of the scenes in bsd. Am I in a dream? No. People in their dreams cannot understand the term of dreams.(personal experience has never experienced understanding what a dream is in a dream)

I swear to god if someone(like Fyodor, Nikolai, some stalker) was watching me since I got teleported here— Oh shit. I need to fucking act normally, like how a normal person would act like… When… uh- they suddenly appeared in a place they didn’t know? I’m gonna make that as my case right now because I’m thinking for too long… Okay but if someone’s been watching me(Gurl, your anxiety is so-) it’s not like it’s gonna do anything anymore but, I still need to understand the situation… but to in exchange of their observations to my acts…

I’m thinking too slow! Too slow… ..Am I just fucking excited to be here? In the anime? Ok quit it, I need to understand my situation right now as quick as possible.

The moment I hesitated to move and started to think for minutes already caused some issues and effects, definitely, who knows where did Dostoevsky the rat king put his cameras and spies in? So… I can just act like myself, right? Who knows what’ll happen just because of my thoughts…

Whatever, the best place to go to right now is the ada, the agency. I can’t get distracted by my thoughts now, it’s not like Ranpo’s not gonna read my thoughts and expressions immediately later on. So it’s practically useless thinking further, I need to know how I got here, is this world some sort of au and what I should do, was it an ability(is bsd true) and what timeline is it right now.

I just hope I won’t walk into someone like Elise and Mori, Q, Nikolai disguises as a police(low possibility), Ryunosuke which is because it’ll definitely go wrong due to how I suck I’m at communicating, so on…

No one’s pov

Victoria checks if there’s anything in her pocket which there isn’t and stands up from the bench and starts walking around while looking around. As she continues walking with a blank face(she puts that on as much as she can while calming herself down), she keeps thinking about her situation and what she should do to be the safest for herself.

Victoria pov

Since I do not have a phone so I don’t have a translation, going to the ada cafe and find Lucy to help with my communication will be my best option right now I think.. If she’s working in there right now. But Ranpo’ll definitely understand most of the things like my actions and thoughts, guess I’ll go find him no matter how much I don’t want to.(She doesn’t like being read but she knows Ranpo’s not that kind of person that tells everyone what he found out, so, it’s still fine? She’ll be in danger if she doesn’t do anything after-all.)

Ah…! The agency building… what luck and fate is this…

No one’s pov(extra information if you don’t understand why she’s not acting as if she’s scared or shocked, she sucks at acting and she knows that police can’t help her anything, lack of communication is also one of her problems right now, as much as she doesn’t like getting herself into chaos and troubles, the only option for her was, the ada. She still hopes that Ranpo’s not gonna find out everything about her though.)

Victoria looks up at the agency building then walks in it, (sry just pretend her somehow got to the agency door), she knocks on the agency’s door.

Hope you guys like it! I enjoyed writing this :))

Once again I’ve not had much writing fanfics experience so it might not be in your expectations. Also I need a name for this fanfic!!! Thank you for reading all the way till here!(Victoria’s not quite a normal person but who’s normal if they watch bsd lol)

#bsd #bsd anime #bungou stray dogs #bsd wan #armed detective agency #ada bsd #bsd manga #bsd season 1 #anime watchers

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drustvar · 1 year

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🍄 APPRENTICEMBER - Day 2 🍄

Who is their LI? What’s their relationship like?

Rosie can mesh well with everyone except Nadia and Lucio, I'll give a brief run-down of dynamic and any background since she's not exactly the same as the apprentice in game. This also isn't covering the ships she has with other ocs! ♥

🥀Julian

(Starting with him first since he was the first route I played thru lmao). He and Rosie first met during the plague when they were both working in the dungeons. She was still kind of a mess from her break up with Asra at the time and she's truthfully one of those people who like. NEEDS to be in a relationship. Their personalities are rather similar so its no wonder that she quickly latched onto him and they fell for one another. On her deathbed she left him her amulet and her mother's mortar and pestle, the two most important belongings she had. Post-plague / in his route, she again latches onto him very quickly and becomes very very protective of him. The idea that he killed Lucio (although he actually hadn't) was also something she found very attractive, and she saw him as sort of a heroic figure. He's the one LI that she's really truly batshit about. TLDR; the codependency these two have with one another is not healthy but man is it fun to write LMAO || 🐻Muriel Unlike Julian, who unfortunately seems to magnify and / or mirror Rosie's anxiety, Muriel is fantastic at getting her to chill the fuck out. Out of the LI's, they're the ones who help one another to grow the most. They were friends for a long time, having met one another thru Asra. Their vibes are just very cozy and woodsy. Off the grid couple who minds their own business. In his story, (which I'm doing basically a complete overhaul of) as said before they really foster a lot of growth in one another. Rosie encourages him to stand up for himself, to voice his anger, and to let out his emotions instead of bottling everything up. Muriel encourages her to slow down and not dive head first into things. One of the big things thematically for them is that strength doesn't have to be loud and in your face. Simply continuing to exist in a world that has been unkind is strong.

|| ✨Portia Ohhhh my beloved gorls. What can I really say about them other than that they're like. THE cottagecore cat-girl dream. They have similar personalities, the only major difference (and sometimes point of argument) is how little Rosie cares for / trusts nobility, which obviously puts Portia in a bit of a hard place considering Nadia is 1. her boss and 2. has been so good to her (seriously what other ruler gives their head servant property??) Portia's story is also being reworked to fit Rosie better (mostly just adding more actual content to it), but a big part of their initial story is about boosting one another's confidence and being a confidant to one another, something both of them really need.

|| 🔮Asra

Asra and Rosie met when they were teenagers, when she'd managed to sneak into the Masquerade (something her Aunt had forbidden.) They became fast friends and even though her aunt wasn't fond of him, she did allow he and Muriel to stay in the shed on the property when the weather was bad. Asra was Rosie's first real friend, and really helped her to try to heal and break free from her aunt's abuse and control. They loved one another very deeply and were eachother's rock. Once the plague hit and her aunt died, Rosie felt a need to stay and try to help; the people of the city were all they really had. Asra didn't agree, and this led to a nasty argument that would ultimately lead to their breakup.

Post-plague, Asra sometimes wonders if he made the right choice. If Rosie had known, would she have rather have stayed dead? Her own mortality, her previous life, and their own shared past is something they would have to work to uncover in their timeline, since Asra also forgot much of his own past (be it from magic or a stress response). Once everything is said and done, they're definitely a very chill and laid back couple. But its never going to be exactly the same, be it for better or for worse :")

#apprenticember #rosie #not me saying 'small blurbs' and then dumping 2 paragraphs each OOPS

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eratosdaughter · 1 year

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we weren't meant for each other and it's fine

(written before the ending for the B2W2 arc was released/ translated) rakutsu is in the hospital and faitsu visits, until one day she can't words: 2710 cross-posted from AO3

She plays with the blanket on his bed, looks at the boy sleeping with his hair in his face and bandages wrapped around his neck and head, and wonders how he looks like an angel with downturned eyes and full lips and button nose when he’s asleep. Her fingers reach out to the space between his brows, and softens the furrow there, before tracing the edges of his face. She flutters around his high cheekbones, down to the cut of his jawline and to the corner of his lips, almost ghosting them before catching herself.

She wonders how he could smile so brightly, and how his voice was still echoing back and forth between her ears and why it wouldn’t leave her alone even in times when she wanted it to.

She wonders if anything he said to her, any compliment or intent, was genuine and if he had any second let his heart slip like she did hers.

His nurse puts a hand on her back and tells her visiting hours are over, her mum is there to pick her up and bring her home, but she could always come back and visit tomorrow. Faitsu wants to ask how long he’s been asleep, but she couldn’t force the sound out and just nods, letting the nurse lead her away.

She turns back and watches his hand move to drape over the side where she had been, and wants to ask if he was ever asleep.

She spends the school days daydreaming, looking out the window and watching the trees dance with the wind. Mr. Charen had left to be a gym leader, and she couldn’t remember the new teacher’s name, even though she knows she should. Her mother insisted she return to school, she had friends who might be worried, and she smiles when around Yuki, Yuko and Maya- they do enough to get her mind off of the boy in the hospital bed.

She does all her homework and assignments, her Pokemon battling has gotten better recently even with just Foongy around, and everyone’s saying she should challenge the Pokemon league even though she doesn’t want to. Her life is kept within the trainer school when she isn’t off to the hospital. She still calls her mum every night, tells her all the funny things that teenagers get up to and another petty argument that Hugh and Yuki had gotten into, before running out the door, but never misses her mum’s pitying smile when they say goodbye.

The nurses know her name by now, greet her with a smile like she was family. One nurse joked that she should just get an access card to his room, make every visit easier for all involved.

They still question what exactly she is to Rakutsu when they have the time. Surely more than a classmate? They like to tease, and Faitsu always stutters out a denial while her heart wishes it was true.

The nurse tells her that he’s better that night she visits, that he’s awake sometimes but doesn’t speak much, and she wonders if he could feel it whenever she gets brave enough to brush against him. Sometimes it’s his fingers, callused and rough and too grown up for someone only 16, and she counts the discoloured scars and scabs that litter his skin.

Sometimes she’s brave enough to get closer, just to feel his breath and know he’s alive, to watch his lashes flutter with the wind of the overhead fan, smooth every crease he’s got and wishes she knew what he was dreaming of so that she could soothe those worries too.

Sometimes she wishes she was in that head of his to know his feelings on everything, if he even has feelings.

Sometimes she even slips her fingers in between his, brushes her fingers against the gaps that hers are too thin to fill completely, watches their hands intertwined for the shortest time and ghosts circles with her thumb before everything comes back and she jerks away like she’s been tasered. She calls herself crazy when she feels him tighten his grip when she lingers too long, calls herself insane when her heart swears that his fingers close themselves on hers so that she almost fits perfectly to him.

“Everyone misses you,” she tells him every night. She recalls what their class is doing, asks questions before she realises he can’t answer, and wants to beat herself up with every slip of the tongue.

“The girls, especially, miss you. They say they want a cute guy to be around so that class is worth going to,” she laughs, never admits she’s jealous that they could confidently admit to things like that.

Or that she’s jealous they can admit their feelings about him like that.

“Nobody knows about you being in Interpol, Mr. Superintendent. You can always come back, everybody wants you to.” She knows she’s talking to a wall, staring at the one opposite her as her fingers play with the blanket around his hand. He looks too peaceful in the bed, still healing but the bandages around his head have been removed, and she doesn’t know if this scares her more but she’s more comfortable talking to the Him who can’t respond.

“I saw Black and White outside just now, and they told me they hope you like the flowers they brought. I like them, they’re pretty.” She glances at the bouquet next to the bed, the nurses had put the arrangement into a tall glass of water and wrapped the paper around it, and she smiles at the colour it brings to the room.

“I,” she feels her words die in her throat, feeling his fingers ghost and wrap around hers with a gap between. She looks down at him, and sees his head turned away but the expression stays the same, and she wonders if he could hear her all this time.

“I hope you get better soon too, Mr. Superintendent,” she breathes out, and misses the warmth when she has to remove her hand from his. The nurse comes in right after, and leads her out of the room and out of the hospital. She asks Faitsu if anything changed, if he had responded to her, and Faitsu always says no when she’s not sure.

Over the school holidays, when everyone else has gone back to their cities, she stays the entire length of the permitted visiting hours. She’s met a few people from Interpol (“just checking on his condition”), a man called Looker visits more often than the others and he always seemed more worried. She doesn’t talk to anyone else much, but Looker has told her that he’s not returning to the school when he’s discharged, he has to go back to Interpol.

“Oh.” Was all she could get out before she left the room to give them privacy. There was a tugging at her heart that dragged it into her stomach and a tightening around her throat. It shouldn’t affect her that much; it shouldn’t affect her at all, really, but it felt wrong.

Over time, the nurses’ teasing has stopped and she’s seen more pitying eyes. She wonders what Rakutsu has told them and if it’s anything good, though she knows it’s probably nothing. They don’t say anything to her, but she feels like it’s too much sometimes when they whisper to each other instead and wonders if she should give up seeing him awake.

But there’s something inside her that doesn’t like the idea of that either, and it’s become too much of a routine now.

“You know Mr. Superintendent,” she laughs as she starts, “it’s so much easier to see you asleep and talk to you like this. You’re really scary when you’re all serious.”

She has the confidence to hold his hand for longer now, doesn’t jerk away when he squeezes every so often but she does still tense, thinking he’d open his eyes. Her thumb still ghosts drawings over his hand, just to give her something to do when it’s quiet between them. Rakutsu doesn’t ever turn to her, either lying straight or turned to face the window but it’s okay, that makes it easier to pretend he doesn’t hear her.

“I really was starting to like you back in school, whenever you smiled and looked at me. I looked forward to seeing you in class, or whenever we went out on field trips,” she recalls. There’s a hint of familiarity, and she can’t get those memories out of her mind no matter how hard she tried.

Eventually, she realised that she had stopped trying.

“And to be honest, when we were fighting,” she giggles because she can’t help herself, she hasn’t told anyone, not even Foongy yet, “I thought you were really attractive. I was really scared but… I finally saw the real you.”

She feels a squeeze, harder than before, and she frowns, looking down. That’s been their only way to communicate, when he doesn’t want to open his eyes and she talks to the walls. There’s a part of her praying he feels the same in some way, has an actual interest in her after her constant visits when they both know he’s awake. She’s scared to bring it up, and she doesn’t want to admit it but she squeezes his hand back.

“I know you don’t plan on going back to the school, so it’s kind of useless,” a hollow giggle escapes, “but at the very least, can you tell me when you’re discharged? I’ve been seeing you all this time, it’d be nice to see you awake again.”

He squeezes her hand again, lightly and gently like promising a child. Her thumb ghosts a small heart along his skin, and she sees him ruffle in his bed and turn around.

The nurse tells her visiting hours are over, and she squeezes his hand again before letting go.

A week later, the nurses tell her he’s left.

“Oh.” She feels an ache in her chest, almost feels as if she should have expected this.

Why would he tell her? Why would he trust her?

It doesn’t hurt when she has those thoughts, not really. She just feels… something. She’s not sure what, when her feet drag across the floors and people bustle by her, but every other heartbeat feels uncomfortable and every breath feels heavy.

She squeezes her hand, ghosts patterns on the skin near her index finger as she leaves the hospital. Her Xtransceiver sits too hot on her wrist, its presence more prevalent than ever in her mind as she walks home. There’s a part of her that wants to message him first, but she’s not sure if he still has it, or if the number he saved to hers was the same.

So she walks home, on a bright sunny day that would’ve only seeped in through half-open curtains in the hospital room. Light snow falls on her, but the coldness is nothing compared to inside. The air is clearer, lighter, and she breathes all of it in and her mind drifts back to thin hospital blankets and half empty cups. The stuffy feeling in her heart and stomach don’t go away, even as she turns around and can only see the top of the hospital building. In fact, it feels like it gets worse the further she gets.

“Goodbye.” She raises her hand up, in a weak wave that barely moves, and turns back to the path with blurry eyes and a fogged mind. Her steps are slow, unsteady on barely iced over pavements but her body knows well enough how to keep her safe with a preoccupied mind- it’s done that plenty of times.

A honk cuts through her thoughts, and she finds herself in the middle of a one-way lane, almost to the sidewalk again. Her tears freeze on her cheeks, but her mind’s still fogged over as she stares at the on-coming lights of a lone car right in front of her, struggling to turn. Her eyes almost registers them like she was staring through diamonds, separated and sparkling and like a sign, maybe like a blessing even if everything could glimmer like that.

It reaches meters, and she can hear the tyres screeching and see them twisting and she swears she can feel the heat from the front as it reaches closer. The smell of worn tyre reaches her, like a ruined barbeque, and she hears people gasp and calls for her to move, move, movemovemove but her feet stay mid-step on the ice. There’s a sense of resignation in her, when her body stays stiff and rooted and hey, the hospital’s close enough, but her brain freezes because she was never a “fight” person.

She supposes her life has mostly been flight or freeze.

She barely registers a hand grasping her and pulling her away just as the car rushes by, the driver screaming profanities at her as the wind ruffles her hair into her face. In those few seconds between the street and sidewalk, she’d closed her eyes but opening them didn’t make much of a difference when all she saw was black still. Maybe this was some afterlife, not with glimmers but just a neutral one.

“Be more careful next time.” The person whispers into the top of her head, and she realises her body isn’t still anymore and she can look up.

Enough to see familiar shaggy hair.

“Mr. Superintendent!” She tries to pull away, embarrassed and knowing he knows almost everything about her now, but his arms don’t move and she’s buried right into his chest.

He’s warm, covered by a decent layer of fluff and jacket, and she can smell the basic laundry detergent and common mint shampoo and a woodsy cologne and it seems so different from stale hospital but she loves it more. It’s almost too hot, having him against her even through both their layers of winter clothing. He doesn’t move, and she almost lets herself lean more into his chest when his arms loosen around her- enough for her to pull away and look up at him properly.

She wasn’t sure what she expected, but his eyes were still the same glossed maroon.

“Mr. Superintendent, you’re discharged.”

“Yeah.”

She feels her heart pounding in her ears and throat, feels a pressure from her chest to her stomach. It’s weird seeing his eyes, still unwavering and steady and it’s familiar but… he still feels like a stranger.

“Why are you around here?”

She knows he knows, as if he ever doesn’t, but her brain still stalls trying to come up with a lie. She stutters, mumbles something about a classmate, and avoids looking at him as much as she can, shoulders pulled up to her ears. He takes a step back, arms still next to her just in case, and suddenly her own coat doesn’t seem to keep her warm anymore.

He nods, and she figures the conversation is over. Isn’t it supposed to be easier when your conversation partner can talk to you, when there’s actual replies and it turns from talking at them to talking to them? Yet she can’t even bring herself to look at him, words not even managing to form as they stand at the sidewalk awkwardly.

Looker calls out from somewhere else, loud enough for her to know that he’s close by. Both of them turn to look at him, and Faitsu knows time is up. She looks to Rakutsu, who’s already looking at her again, and gives a small smile.

“Thank you, for saving me I mean.”

He nods, and there’s something in his eyes that are different, but she can’t really tell what.

He walks towards where Looker is, and she almost calls tries to stop him after his first step, but he gives her a wave and she can’t. So she stands and watches him walk away, and maybe there is a small part of her that hopes that he’ll turn around and say something but he doesn’t and she can only watch for so long before she hears herself sniffling.

So maybe this is it, this is all they’re meant to be.

#trainer faitsu #trainer rakutsu #pokespe #corrupptedshipping

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septembersghost · 2 years

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Why do you believe in hauntings? I've never had anything like that happen to me but I have had dreams that predicted deaths and disasters (one I still remember clearly was the devastating Japan earthquake years ago, I can't really talk about it, and it's heavy the guilt because it feels like something that somehow one could have avoided because one knew it was coming -I know rationally that doesn't make sense but it's how it feels-) and the one in Nepal.

i've never dreamed of natural disasters, but my mom has! she also feels that sense of guilt even though there's absolutely nothing that could've been done to prevent it, i think that's a very natural reaction of empathy, wishing so badly you could make a difference, especially if you feel like you knew something was coming.

okay, so this is a VERY long story (or collection of stories), and far more intricate than i can quickly explain in a message, but the building where i grew up (from the age of 4 to the age of 22) was haunted, and there is legitimately no other explanation for the things that happened there. when my mom and i came here from dallas, when my parents separated, we moved in with my grandparents in their condo and shared the back bedroom. then we had the same setup in the condo next door and lived with my uncle and cousin (my mom acting as his surrogate mother for a while too), and then they moved out and it was just the two of us, but my grandparents were still next door. when my grandpa died, my grandma moved into a retirement community and my mom and i moved into their condo (all for complicated family reasons), so throughout all of those years, we were consistently in those two units.

when i was very little, when my mom and i shared that backroom, i slept on a pull out trundle bed, and i used to insist that i saw my guardian angel at night, sometimes bringing me a tiny light. my cousin and i also had odd things happen when we would play - like toys moving - but nobody believed us because they thought we were just imaginative.

my grandparents were very faithful people, but against superstition, so trust me when i say they would never make anything up or even put much stock in it - except they had unexplained experiences in their condo. when i was about...12?...our family was all gathered together, and we were talking about ghost stories, and my grandpa laughed and was like, "i can tell you all about the ghost here," and then launched into a story about how he was lying in bed, and my grandma was in the bathroom washing up with the door closed, and the covers spontaneously pulled up on him, and he automatically said, "thank you." and he was like, "i guess it's better to be polite to the ghost!" they had other things happen - small items would move and my grandma would blame my grandpa for moving them, and then he'd insist he hadn't touched them, they'd feel like someone else was in the room, there were cold spots. they told us this, and my mom and i were just like 👀 because we'd had experiences next door, but hadn't shared them. we both had had times standing alone in the living room where we felt like someone grabbed our shoulders, hard, but no one was there. we'd also had things not be in the place we left them, including my stuffed animals. i had a baby doll i literally threw away because she started talking on her own without batteries. just very strange, small things. one night - and to this day, she can still hardly talk about this - my mom heard this horrible noise in the hallway, and she said she felt this terrifyingly dark, oppressive presence, and she was so scared she couldn't move or look, even though she wanted to come and get me. she swears she was wide awake.

when my grandpa died and we moved back into that unit, i was a teenager and things were...strange. i'd come home and find my things on the floor, one time a tiny glass unicorn of mine was shattered even though we'd been nowhere near it. if you stood in a certain place in the hallway, you could hear whispering. (also, for the record, we had everything checked for mold and carbon monoxide, it was clear.) i have a little crystal pull in the shape of a teddy bear on my ceiling fan, and it would start swinging back and forth wildly on its own when i was sitting in bed, when the fan wasn't on. we saw dark shapes in mirrors. i know this all sounds made-up, but i promise you it isn't. my mom heard the voice of a young girl singing and said it sounded so much like me, except i wasn't home. we would never have shared this with anyone, but a new element was introduced - my (ex) best friend. he and i spent an excessive amount of time together, and he was at our place a lot. we decided not to tell him anything about anything because it sounds insane. which was fine. except for when he walked out of my bathroom white as a sheet and told me he saw something in the mirror and couldn't explain what the hell it was. and then he experienced a lot of other things with us over the course of many years. some of my girl friends came over for dinner once and the radio kept turning on by itself. the guy who did what he did when i was in college - who literally believed in nothing and proclaimed that fact - also saw something in one of the mirrors (one we had in the living room) and felt like something wanted him to leave, which is kind of funny in retrospect because it has made us wonder if that was whatever presence it was trying to warn me.

we only lived there with my dog until she was not quite two years old, but she was very defensive and sometimes would growl at seemingly nothing in the hall at night.

there is no explanation for any of this, or any of the things we saw and felt completely separately, from my grandparents to my mom and me, and we would've kept it in the family and likely not told anyone had it not also presented itself to my friends, which made it unavoidably real. we don't know why, we don't know what it might have been, but i will never forget or dismiss what any of that felt like, and it's a big reason why i won't negate others' unusual/eerie/unexplained experiences and phenomenons.

#anonymous #letterbox #i feel like this should be filed in the personal tag haha #bubble wrap around my heart

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provisionalsparkle · 3 years

Text

The Boy Next Door

Reader x Bang Chan (Stray Kids)

[Genre] exes-to-lovers au, smut, angst.

[Word count] 6.7K

[Warnings] Smut. Angst. Unprotected sex, voyeurism, ample description of bodily fluids.

[Note] This is my contribution to @feliix ’s Summer 2 Lovers collab! Check it out!

Summer.

The season of fun and sun, careless joy, long days and warm nights…

For most people.

For you, this summer is about change. It’s about the little town you used to live in, the quaint house you grew up in, the smell of your mother’s cooking or the breeze from the yard, the sound of younger kids playing in the street. It’s about the big city you will go to live in, it’s purple and orange twilight skies, black silhouettes reaching toward the skies beginning to twinkle with golden lights, the noises of the traffic coming from evening bustle, the scent of the delis and restaurants that line the streets.

You were stuck between these two places, university having been a four year long limbo of boundless sex mislabeled as self-discovery, and now visit your home one last time, reminding yourself of the life you had there before moving on to another.

You think of the past with nostalgia, yet also with a restlessness that makes you want to run from everything. The stillness, the silence, the unchanging landscape in this little town is too unbearable, too unsettling. But it’s familiar, and it’s comfortable. The life you’ll soon live promises excitement, autonomy, it’s the adulthood you’ve fantasized about. It terrifies you too, and you have these horrible dreams about missing the payment of the most insignificant bill and having the entire world collapse on you because of it. You still don’t know how to do your taxes.

College is over, a new life awaits you in a big city after landing a rather ideal job, but it felt like you were leaving things behind. Funny how, after so many years of fantasizing about this grown-up life you suddenly felt like a lost child, scared to forgo the familiar.

It’s these sort of almost-quarter-life-crisis thoughts that fill your mind on a particularly warm afternoon. You’re indecently splayed out on a couch with as little clothing as possible, the door to the backyard is wide open, letting an occasional breeze waft in to disrupt the stifling stillness of the heat. The lights are off, and you were too unbothered to turn them on as the sun set, preferring to stare at a darkening ceiling as the evening sky turned purple.

There’s a familiar jingle of keys from the front door.

“Honey? You home?”

“I’m here, Mom.” You lazily answer back. She wanders from the hall to the living room, you can feel the judgemental look she gives you.

“Have you been laying like this all day?”, indignation lines her voice. Was it so surprising to find you like this?

“Yeah…”

“You can’t just lay here all day. Go out! Get some sun! Go play with those kids you used to hang out with from school!”

“I can’t Ma, I’d rather just plank here.”

“Oh goodness, Y/n. Give me one good reason you shouldn’t go hang out with them!”

“I’ll give you two: either they grew up to be total bitches or they had kids and became a bore.”

“I didn’t become a bore when I had you!” She exclaims, although it’s not too serious and some playfulness hides beneath the surface.

“Yeah, that’s because you’re a cool mom. They don’t make those anymore.”

“Hmm… well, I think you should make a bit of an effort.”

“Mom… it’s my last vacation you know -”

“You know what?!” She suddenly exclaims, her voice brightening like a lightbulb just radiated in her thoughts. “Mrs. Carson’s son is here with her for the summer too! I bet you haven’t seen him in ages, and he’s gotten so handsome.”

“Mrs. Carson?” You didn’t have any clue who that was.

“Well… you might remember her as Mrs. Bang, but Jane changed her name when she married Norbert a few years ago. She still lives next door and Christopher’s in town spending the summer with his mother.”

Bang…

Christopher…

You hadn’t heard that name in years. It surprised you a bit actually, and a hint of a smile came to your lips.

“Yeah, yeah, Mom… I’ll think about it.”

You wouldn’t admit… something did grab your attention. A curiosity of sorts.

You were fifteen years old when you had your first kiss. He was a short boy with a kind smile, a bit awkward really, but you had a fondness for him. It wasn’t about looks at all, all boys at that age were hideous and nothing would change your opinion on that, but you’d swoon whenever you saw him. It was mutual, an icky teenage infatuation that had your friends poking fun at both of you whenever you’d become giddy at the sight of one another. Hot faces, nervous glances, trembling innocent touches.

He sat next to you in chemistry and you’d hold hands under the lab table while the teacher gave class. His left hand always felt soft in your right one. Cute. It’s a bit silly but you’re glad you had that sort of adorable and silly romance. While it lasted, that is.

Christopher wasn’t a bad guy. He was stupid, like all boys that age.

When you saw him kissing another girl, of course you cried, but you knew it had to do with him being stupid more than anything. This simple looking girl that you had been friends with in elementary school, you can’t even remember her name.

You know why he did it, beyond his stupidity. Your mom had let it slip long before - you knew it was coming.

“Honey, would you believe? Mr. and Mrs. Bang are divorcing!” Probably just some hot gossip from one of her PTA yoga groups, no ill intention on your behalf. She didn’t know you were seeing Christopher - over your dead body. You were fifteen and a horrible student, you didn’t need to give your mother yet another element to ground you with.

“Oh no…” You acted as normally as you could, your first thoughts went out to Christopher first though. “Do you know why?”

“Well… I’m obviously not going to ask, duh! But I do know that Mr. Bang is taking the kid with him abroad.” What?! What did she just say? Chis is WHAT?!

“I - uh, what?” Act normal, act normal, act normal.

“Aww… sweetie, was he your friend?” Goodness, parents can be so oblivious, but it’s beneficial in this case. She doesn’t pick up on the depression of your mood.

“I guess.” A sniffle is about to threaten your composure so, in your teenage arrogance, you leave before your mother can see your teary eyes.

The subsequent days were strange. You expected Christopher to tell you the news, you expected to comfort him, you expected to live out the rest of your young romance as best as you could. And then… you saw him.

And he said nothing. He was cold, pushed you away. He must be going through a lot of pain, you thought. More days went by and he still said nothing, and his demeanor grew worse, no affection, no smiles. He must be having a hard time, you reasoned.

Sometimes you thought he was on the verge of saying something to you, like he was about to say something and the words threatened to come out but he’d suddenly pull away and swallow them. You didn’t question it really, it was so confusing but you just went with it.

You never held his hand in chemistry again.

Time made you realize that Christopher didn’t want to be with you anymore. You weren’t sure if it was because he stopped liking you, and that hurt a little, but you knew what he was going through, and you stood by him in case he ever chose to open up and cry on your shoulder. You’d be there for him.

When he kissed that girl, it didn’t really surprise you. Damn it, what was her name? You cried, you thought it was because you were ugly and your boobs were still pretty small - stupid reasons.

It took a few months for you to understand the real reason.

He left without saying goodbye. You never spoke to him after he kissed what’s-her-name. Maybe he tried to do so a couple of times, but you ran away or didn’t let him. Or maybe you remembered it that way to comfort you, just so you’d live with the thought that he tried to apologize, tired to make things right.

But the fact of the matter is he didn’t speak to you and he didn’t say goodbye. He didn’t want to.

He didn’t want to say goodbye because it hurt.

He was trying to ruin your relationship so you’d break up with him and he wouldn’t have to say goodbye, so that he could kill the feelings you had for him to spare you from the pain of his departure.

Or maybe you were just imagining it like that to make it a cuter memory and think about it fondly.

Maybe in the end, Christopher was just a horny teenage boy that cheated on you. Maybe.

Regardless, you giggle as you think back on the silliness of it all, and how serious and life altering it all felt in your childishness. It seemed so long ago, so distant, and you were so changed that it felt like it had all happened to a different person. You wondered about the man next door, and the entirely different boy who had once been next door. What kind of person had Christopher become?

University did you well. It was four solid years of irresponsible drinking and uninhibited sexual exploration paired with relatively easy academics. You don’t know how it happened, but it had been like a transformation from one day to the next.

You, sort of, kind of, absolutely plain and normal girl that no one would notice lest you stepped in their line of sight. One day, there you were - normal.

Two weeks in - boom. Confident. Your roommate was an okayish girl, another plain one. Then you started noticing how comfortable you were undressing in front of her, to change clothes or whatever, as if it was the most normal thing in the world - which it was. Wearing shorts and skirts became less of a worry, just something that felt better. Sometimes you’d be thrown icky glances from some boys, which you hated, but others were acceptably flirty and you loved those. The best ones were the boys that would get shy and who would quickly whip their heads the other way once you caught them staring.

That definitely flipped the switch. It made you feel strong, it made you feel damn good. You, who at the most had dipped a finger into the world of heavy makeouts during high school, now became a seasoned seductress of all kinds of men. So long as you could wrap them around your finger with your demeanor, so long as you could prowl over them and take the lead.

Ah… the good old days.

What was going to happen now, though? Four years later, no slightly inexperienced men left to be wowed. Everyone you knew was turning into a bland and bitter office worker. Was this the end of it?

To think that you’d be ending this glorious chapter of your life in this tiny town, lounging on the same stuffy couch in the same hot living room every day, having your routine philosophical melodrama where you’d stare at the ceiling in the afternoons until your mother came in inquiring if you were alive. It was a terrible fate.

A few days after the revelation of Christopher’s presence, which you would never admit had been circling your mind nonstop, your mother returns with another piece of information.

“You know, Jane and Norbert are having a get together of sorts next Saturday - just the usuals from the block.”

“Is that so?” You said with disinterest.

“In fact, I borrowed a baking pan from her last week… why don’t you go over and give it back to her for me? She might need it, and you probably haven’t left this house in days.” You didn’t reply, but you could feel her eyes on you, waiting for you to obey.

“Fine…”

The afternoon was enjoyably fresh, although your white t-shirt stuck to you like a second skin, the bikini top you wore underneath tracing its silhouette into the cotton. You lazily stomped your way to the house next door, admiring the tall window where you had snuck into Christopher’s room a couple of times during your short romance. A ladder was perched up against the exterior toward that window, they must have been fixing things up. The porch was full of cans of paint, tools, boxes. It was only when you rang on the doorbell, begrudgingly holding the large tray, that you realized that Jane might not be the one to open the door but instead it could be -

The door swings open and you gasp. Christopher.

Well… his face hadn’t changed much. But he was slightly taller than you remembered, far more masculine, oh, and he wasn’t wearing a shirt. Yeah, he was shirtless… jeans hanging low on his hips… shirtless… abs… fit waist… arms…

“Hi! Is Jane home?” Good… pretend you don’t remember him.

“I - Uh… no, my mom’s actually out right now.” He replied. His voice had grown deeper, and where did he get that accent? Wait - did he not remember you? Now, that just made you angry, but you wouldn’t let it show.

“Oh, well… my mother wanted me to return this.” You say handing him the tray, avoiding trailing your eyes downward.

“Yeah, sure. I’ll give it to her.” He says. He seems a little frozen, an expression between surprise and caution lingers on his face, but you don’t know if it’s good or bad.

There’s a moment of silence where you just stare at each other.

“Y/n…” He finally says. There’s hesitation in the way he says your name. He’s scared, not of you, but he’s scared about the fact that you’re on his doorstep.

You don’t say anything, calmly, almost coyly, waiting for him to continue. You’d gotten rather good at pretending you were calm, and the slightest tint of a smile painted your lips so you wouldn’t seem cold or ingenuine.

“Do you remember me?” He asks. You can’t help but huff, a tiny laughter really.

“Of course. You know, you haven’t grown much taller.”

With those slightly playful words, you turn to walk back to your home, and with each step your impression of the encounter with your childhood love became more bitter and less sweet.

It was strange how you thought about him, about it. The situation, that is. Seeing him, talking to him, both of you now being older. A few days of thinking now.

You don’t know why you thought about it so much, but you thought about it. You thought about it without knowing how you felt about it or what you thought about it. This man you had only gotten a glimpse of, too overwhelmed to take in his features properly, now walks around your mind freely. He wasn’t the boy you knew. He wasn’t the boy next door whose hand you’d once hold in chemistry, who you’d kiss before turning the corner towards both of your homes. The boy who left all those years ago.

No, it wasn’t that boy. It was that man, who kept perturbing you. What did you feel? Interest? Yes, there was something quite intriguing about all of this which sparked your curiosity. Lust? Of course, absolutely, the man next door looked divine. Suppose you could abstract the person from his body, so that you wouldn’t be so bothered by who he was and what he meant to you, and you’d easily bend over in front of him and invite him in.

You supposed a conversation was in place, though, because after all, he was still the Christopher. You couldn’t just go around fucking people like that anymore - unfortunately. That was something you got away with in college. It’s a shame college boys grow up to be boring men, sex gets more boring, they think they have all the authority… Maybe you should go back to school.

You’re sitting on the windowsill of your second floor bedroom, one leg hanging out and stepping onto the roof. Opposite to your window, beyond a neat shrub, is the window of the guest room of Mrs. Carson, formerly Bang, which seems unchanged from when you last saw it. You remember watching her from your room, also unchanged, using the TV in there to do some aerobics she followed along from a VHS… was it a VHS? No, that’s the machine. What were the things you used to put in the VHS? A cassette? No… regardless, eventually she must have started using DVD’s.

Damn it, it all seemed like thousands of years ago.

Damn it, you were still so melodramatic throwing around words like poetry over some Richard Simmons tape. Aha! It’s a tape!

Your crotch is being dug into by the window frame, and you let your weight rest on it, the slight grind tempting you to have a round of masturbation. But you’ll finish the cigarette you stole from your mother first. It tasted awful, it was another adult thing you couldn’t understand. Why did everyone at university smoke so much? It was just another thing their eager teenage selves did to emulate the adults in grown-up world, to feel a little more grown-up. Who the hell likes this stuff?

But you liked watching it burn, occasionally inhaling its airy and bitter smoke. It wasn’t your preferred type of smore. You preferred watching papers and matches burn, their sweet and rich smell, the warmth of the fire that would sting the edges of your fingers. Shame your mother only used a lighter, you didn’t like the smell of that fire either.

You just surrendered to watching the bright tip of the cigarette and the white streams that came from it.

“You know those are bad for you.”

“Jesus fucking Christ!” You exclaimed, your heart nearly jumping out from your chest. A man had sprung out from the window in the guest room of the Carson house, formerly Bang, and that man was Christopher Bang himself.

“Sorry I didn’t -”

“You almost gave me a fucking heart attack - what the hell?!”

“ - mean to startle you…”

“Damn it, Christopher!”

“Ah! So you do remember me?” He says with a bit of joy, but you just look at him, realizing that this is where the talk will come. His features grow a little more somber. He continues, “So… I guess I -”

“Where’d you get the accent?” You interrupt, genuinely curious. “You sound like the crocodile hunter.”

“Well… I was living in Australia with my dad.” He says it in a normal tone, but you make sure it doesn’t stay normal.

“Oh, so that’s where you went?” You both wince at what you just said. Yep, it’s finally time for that talk.

There’s a bit of silence, but you’ll let him be the one to fill it.

“I…” He sighs deeply. Uuhh… it’s quite a masculine sigh. “I didn’t know you’d be here. I didn’t think I’d ever see you again but I… there’s something I’ve always wanted to say.”

“I’m listening…” You say. It’s a flat tone, but it’s funny. You hope it’ll ease him.

“I wanted to say I’m sorry.” Some silence again, “I’m sorry for being an ass, I’m sorry for cheating on you -”

“Chris, we were like fifteen… you kissed a girl with braces, big deal.” You waved it off. Really, kissing that girl didn’t bother you so much, now almost ten years later.

“I left without saying anything.”

“Yeah, you did. Hard to not notice.”

“I was - I know it’s not an excuse, but I was going through a lot and I didn’t want to hurt you.”

“So you left without saying anything?”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s ok… we haven’t spoken in years. I practically forgot about it.” No you didn’t.

“Did you?” He says. Was he hopeful when you insinuated he hadn’t hurt you as much as he thought he had?

“No, not really. I mean, yeah, you kissing another girl was pretty insignificant, we were just kids. It did hurt that you left without… I don’t know… There wasn’t any closure. There wasn’t a goodbye. I felt confused for a while, I guess.”

“I’m so sorry about that. But my parents were splitting up, I was going to have to leave everything behind. You were the first girl I loved and I was going to have to say goodbye and I couldn’t handle it. I was too hurt and embarrassed to even tell my friends. I wish I had done it differently.”

“Yeah, I wish you had too. I wanted to be there for you, you know? I wanted to hug you, hold your hand, tell you it was going to be ok.

“I really messed up there…”

“It’s okay Chris, you were just a kid. We were just kids.” You offer your sympathy but he doesn’t soften.

“Mhmm. Doesn’t make me feel less guilty about it.”

“Can I ask you something?” He nods, “Did you do all that stuff… you know, treat me that way, for real or where you…?”

“I was hoping you’d break up with me, get over me. That way we wouldn’t have to say goodbye and we wouldn’t get hurt.”

“I got hurt.” You admit.

“I’m sorry.”

“Stop apologizing.” You insist. “It’s fine. We’re fine. We’re old and grown and fine. All of that’s in the past, I can’t blame you for acting like a kid. It’s okay.”

“Well I can agree with you there. We did grow up, not kids anymore.”

“You didn’t grow that much.” You laugh, he laughs too.

“You certainly did.” He’s being flirty. It could have been bad timing, but the mood felt right.

“Oh, you noticed?”

“Hard not to.” Goodness was he being direct. “You were really cute back in school, I had a crush on you for like, forever.”

“Really…Plain old me?”

“Really. And now here we are and I think I could have a crush on you all over again.”

“So you can go off and kiss another girl with braces and leave the continent?”

“No, I’m a one woman man.” He says while making himself comfortable on his own ledge. It’s getting comfortable overall, like you’re talking to someone you’ve known for the longest time, like a decade of separation didn’t do much harm.

“Well, well. And who is that lucky woman now?”

“There’s no one at the moment. I’m in the middle of some life changes.”

“Do tell.”

“I’m moving back. Well, not here, just in the country again. A big city, big job, kinda scary.”

“Seems we’re on the same boat. I just came back to say goodbye to this place forever and I’m ooout.”

“Did you finish school already?”

“Yeah… I wish I hadn’t though.” You think back on your experience with longing, lamenting it’s end.

“Wow, can’t relate. I couldn’t wait for it to end. What’d you miss about it?”

“Well, I didn’t have to work, grades were good and easy. And I guess, it was tons of fun.”

“How so?”

“Being on a campus full of horny and stupid guys - it was open game.” Chan hisses at your admission.

“I wouldn’t have taken you for that type.” He chuckles, “You would stutter for like the first two months we went out.”

“We were just kids.”

“I guess we were…”

Another comfortable silence as you stare off at the sky, your cigarette burnt through with only the spongy bud left to pinch.

“Chris?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m single too, you know.”

It might have been a bad idea, you said it on impulse after all, something quite instinctive having taken over you. Maybe you were just horny and Christopher was just hot, regardless, the conversation was over. Before he could even process what you said, and the implications to it, you had already slipped back into your darkened room and out of his sight.

Chan felt like a teenager again. Not in a good way.

Chan remembered your first kiss, holding your hand. He remembered your breasts being the first he had ever really noticed, your legs being the first he ever caressed. He remembers how you’d press your bodies together while you kissed, not really understanding what both of you felt, only understanding the urgency of it.

Now he can name those feelings, the ones that once belonged to an inexperienced boy, merely dipping his toes into the surface of that world. But now that he dove, and had dived into its waters several times, he knew how to swim in them.

Yet, seeing you made him feel like he didn’t. It made him feel like he couldn’t swim, like he couldn’t breathe. He felt like he was drowning.

The first moment he saw you on his doorstep he felt his stomach drop, a pang of guilt that had lingered on his mind during countless of sleepless nights hitting him with full force. He didn’t expect it. He thought he would never see you again.

And after taking another look, a longer look, it was like he was swimming in completely different waters. He felt submerged, and he didn’t know which way was up. He wanted to open his mouth and swallow it all up, let you drown him.

He hadn’t felt this raging feeling since he was a teenager. He certainly hadn’t had a specific woman make him feel like this until you.

It made him feel another kind of guilt. Shame even.

The following days he’d watch you, shamefully. His mother had him painting the house and when he stood on the rooftops he took his time to enjoy the view of you swimming in your pool, wearing tiny bikinis that stuck to your skin and showed the buds of your niples and the lines of your labia through the fabric. He would admit, shamefully, that he stopped watching from the roof because he needed to get closer to see these beautiful details.

He now watched you from over the fence in his backyard. Getting incredibly hard watching you swim, watching you oil your body down.

It was all horribly, horribly shameful.

But weren’t you the one that mentioned you were single? It had caught him off guard. He was being cheeky in that moment, but he didn’t know what waters he was testing then. Now he knew, and it was making him behave so, so shamefully.

Should he go over there, push you into a corner of the pool and pull your bottoms to the side? Should he kneel at your feet while your rubbing yourself with that golden oil, and beg you to let him fuck you?

It wasn’t just the thought of sex that drove him mad, it was you in general. How inferior he felt in front of you, like he had to prove himself. Every day he worked shirtless, hoping you’d get a glimpse of him, but you were just so unbothered by it all.

It was driving him fucking insane.

If only you knew.

Except - of course you did. Of course you did. This is what you craved, what you were best at. Driving boys, technically men but boys sounds tastier, to be absolute slaves to their desire for you. Christopher wasn’t doing a good job at hiding it. Did he really think that you would suddenly spend every day swimming in the tiniest bikinis after having not left your couch for over a week? They really are such stupid, fuckable animals.

And Chris was particularly fuckable.

Day four of his perverted project, he was hammering away at some boards in the back porch of his house. Your mother wouldn’t be home for hours, his parents were away for a couple of days.

Everything was perfect.

“Chris?!” You call loudly over the fence from your chaise lounge, carelessly flipping through a book. The hammering stopped, he had heard you. “Chris, it’s hot today. Don’t you think you should come over for a swim to cool down?”

Why on earth were you acting so damn unbothered and confident, he thought. Why on earth were you asking him over?

It’s only a matter of time before he circles his own house and slides in through the gate on your end. He’s still wearing jeans and a utility belt, gloves too. No shirt.

“You can’t really swim in those, take them off.” You hardly peered at him from over your sunglasses. He was just standing there, frozen. That’s usually a sign that you’re working your magic well. Good. “Come on Christopher, take them off.”

“I - uh, I’m actually not wearing trunks right now. Uhm… I’ll be right back.”

“Oh, you don’t have to go.” Insert unbothered page flip. “Why don’t you just undress and get in the pool so I can join you?”

“W-what?” He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He genuinely thought he had imagined it, maybe all of his hornyness was driving him insane.

“Christopher!” You whine. “You’re ruining the fun!” You slam the book shut and throw it over to the side, taking your sunglasses and hat off. “Chris, I think it’s obvious. Do you think I haven’t noticed you being a peeping tom for the past half week? Look! You’ve already got a tent in your pants and everything!”

“Fuck.” Shit, you were right.

“This is like, hmm, like an open invitation to fuck me.” You say with an eye roll, but your eyes roll toward his abs because they are absolutely distracting you.

“Are… are you serious?”

“Well… You want to, I want to. You’re nice, look like you’ve become quite a decent man - and I’m not just referring to your physique Chris. Maybe, just maybe, it would be an excellent idea if we finally fucked this tension away.”

“Just like that?”

“Just like that. You’re here for a few weeks, so am I. Why not enjoy each other while we can? After that we can just go our separate ways, just like before except we’ll end it on good terms.”

Too many points for him to argue with - you were right on all of them. He couldn’t disagree. In fact, he eagerly agreed. Little did he know you had this pitch rehearsed to perfection, to your benefit, because he seemed to be completely subdued by it.

“Fuck.” He mutters under his breath. Fumbling with his belt, zipper, exposing the line of his abdomen down to his hardening cock. A fat, heavy cock that swung between his muscular thighs. He was fully nude now, standing in front of you, his tan skin glistening in the sunlight. You’re quick to urge him over with a finger.

He pounces, but once he’s crawling over you on that narrow chair, he becomes slow.

“Hi.” You manage to whimper out, now feeling a bit small beneath him, feeling nervous even.

“Hey.” He’s just as nervous but there’s an energy that goes beyond either of your wills pulling you toward one another.

He kisses you. It’s a kiss you melt into, and he sinks his body against yours, with you spreading your legs so he can slot between them. His cock rests against your lower abdomen, his body pressing further into you.

You can’t help but slide your hand between your two bodies in an attempt to finger yourself, prepare yourself, but he stops you and pulls back.

“No.” He growls.

“No?” Is he going to leave you like this?!

“Let me.”

And you do. Chan lowers himself, adjusting you so he can easily bend over the chair while kneeling on the ground, and his hands shake as he dips the tip of his fingers into the hem of your bottoms, just slightly tugging at the material, playing with it before he starts to play with you. You’ve got the perfect view of him basically drooling over you.

He slides the bottoms to the side, but you pull at the strings at your hips, so they come undone and he pulls them away completely. Your lips and the juices coming from between them are just as glossy than your oiled skin.

He can’t help but dig in. Fucking you with his mouth, jamming his fingers in you. It’s an animalistic frenzy and it’s hot and slippery and sticky. You cum and your fluids spill over the impermeable cushion below, pooling under your ass. He can see every sparkling droplet fall from you.

It’s just a haze, he nearly jumps on you, bending your legs nearly over your head, bouncing his pelvis on your cunt like a trampoline, smacking with every thrust. You’re completely glued to one another. If he’s not abusing your mouth with his tongue then he’s biting on your shoulder or grunting, growling, into your ear. It’s filthy. You’re absolutely sure you’ve never been fucked like this.

He cums, several times, as do you. He pulls out each time, jerks himself off on your body, although a couple of times you urged him into your mouth and face. He pulls the triangles on your top to the sides, so your breasts are exposed. He made sure to cum on those too. Semen, sweat, squirt, oil, spit, everywhere there are droplets of your fluids shining on your body like jewels.

It ends with him lying on top of you, nearly sleeping from exhaustion, and your lips feel deliciously sore and sensitive, almost ticklish as he softens inside of you.

It happens again. Several times in fact. Many, many times. When his parents are away, when your mom is away, you fuck all the time. Just a little call of his name over the fence or from your window and he’d be running to you. You were too comfortable with one another to bother with formalities, it was like you’d never been separated. You’d wait for him on all fours, wet cunt on display for him to dive in, but he’d always greet you with a gentle kiss.

Fucking each others faces, drinking eachothers fluids. You even let him fuck you in the ass, multiple times, and he was the first guy to make you cum that way. You were just as hooked and as desperate as he was.

Things started to change though.

The welcoming kisses became longer, you’d talk between the rounds…

You’d fall asleep in his arms, or he in yours.

You’d fuck slowly, deeply, staring into each other’s eyes.

You’d talk to him, tell each other stories of all these years, asi if you had been together the entire time.

You’d smile as you made love, gently. You’d let him cum inside of you.

He’d hold your hand again. They were as soft and warm as you remembered.

You were holding his hand on one particular pink evening, your head resting on his heaving chest, teaching circles into his pecs and nipples. On your bed, in your quiet childhood room. It was a painful silence now. It had been weeks, weeks closer to your respective departure dates.

“I wish I had never left.” He eventually says. You don’t know what to say. “I wish we could have stayed like this for longer.”

“Maybe we would have broken up eventually, or left for college.” You ponder.

“Maybe I would have taken you to prom, or we would have had sex together for the first time…” He returns.

“On this bed? Hmm? With my cute school uniform?” You tease. “Yeah, maybe.”

“But I guess this is what was meant to be.” He sighs, as do you.

“I’m sorry.” Is all you can say.

“What for?”

“I don’t know, I just feel bad. I started this and now we have to go our separate ways again.” You feel something sting in your eye. You can’t cry now.

“Shh…” He coos as he hears you sniffle and feels you twitch. It makes his heart ache like it did all those years ago when he left.

“I - I…” You cry. “I don’t want you to go. I don’t want to go.”

He pulls you into his arms, crushing you in an embrace. Your eyes are closed but you feel the tears fall from his face, he’s crying too.

“I know… but what else can we do?”

There was nothing left to do, other than fuck the days away, crying, holding each other until it hurt. It was a horrible, horrible thing to have fallen in love with Christopher Bang this final summer.

You didn’t go with him to the airport. You didn’t want to say goodbye, you didn’t want to see where he was going.

But he did slip into your room that final night. You made love quietly, he kissed you as you cried.

He said it was the second time he loved you, and the second time he had to leave you.

It hurt much more this time around. Maybe you shouldn’t have done it, maybe you shouldn’t have gone next door.

Being in your house was unbearable once Chris wasn’t next door.

A week later, you’ve arrived at your new place. It had been a whirlwind and you stayed at a hotel the first couple of nights while your new furniture got brought in, most of your personal belongings only fitting in a couple of bags.

It’s kept you busy. That way you think about him a little less. Crying into pillows that have that certain ‘brand new’ smell isn’t quite as comforting as you’d expect. Everything seems unfamiliar, strange, artificial. Nothing here reminded you of him - it was for the best and you hated it.

The place is nice, bright. It’s on the third floor of a small apartment building, a couple of other doors beside yours in the hall. You go downstairs to grab a few packages that have arrived, carefully treading up the stairs in a kind of balancing act once they’re piled in your arms. It’s a choreography you can dance to with expertise, always denying any help from your neighbors.

However, you do fumble with the lock and handle once you’re at your door, holding the boxes up by pressing them against the door with your body as your hands blindly fumble with the keys, nothing but cardboard in your sight.

Nothing you can’t handle, until they start to slip.

“Woah, let me help you with that!” someone says behind you, and in your complicated state it’s a bit difficult to process what happens but the boxes are soon out of the way, said someone pulling them from you and freeing you.

And then you see him.

Him.

Your him.

He says your name and you’re too stunned to react. He’s in awe too. He drops your packages, and you’re certain some of them contain some makeup palettes but you don’t give a damn at the moment.

“What are you doing here?” You finally ask, frozen in place.

“I… live in 304.” He says.

“You live in 304?” He nods. “You? You’re serious?” He nods again, eyes still wide.

You both stand there, processing it all. This can’t be real.

“I live in 302.” you manage to say, after some time. Your voice is weak, all the air has left your lungs. You shake.

“You do?” He asks. Now you nod.

This can’t be.

But he cups your face, holds it like you’re precious and delicate, he kisses you. It is real. You kiss him back, harder. Eventually you’re both clinging to one another, gripping each other’s clothes desperately.

“You live here.” He says, little tears sparkling in the corner of his eyes. You nod, the same tears coming to you.

“I do. Mm-hmm.” The sniffles you let out seem so sweet to him, he swoons with how happy you are to see him. Knowing you feel the same joy he does - it makes him feel complete.

“I live here too!” He cries, laughing, smiling, beautifully.

One more kiss, just to make sure it’s real. You pull him in and kiss him one more time.

It’s real.

#bang chan smut #stray kids smut #skz chan smut #skz smut #bangchan smut

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griffintail · 3 years

Text

A Day in the Life (Lost Ones)

Summary: A day with the new parents and how some of their friends reaction to their new bit of joy.

Pairings: Platonic! Parental! Tommy, Wilbur, Philza, Technoblade, Eret, and Dream x F! Child! Reader

Previous | Next

Warnings : (In Phil’s Specifically) Death, Violence. (Generally) Swearing

A/N: Just so you know (F/L) means First Letter of your first name. Hope you guys enjoy! ♥

Tommy

Tommy didn’t know what the fuck he was doing.

Tubbo was even more clueless.

When Tommy first came onto Tubbo’s doorstep frantically talking about being a father with a crying baby, Tubbo was in a state of great concern for his best friend. Tubbo knew Tommy as a scammer and a very…bold individual, to put it nicely. He did not think his friend had what it took to be any sort of fatherly figure. He was just too young and he was too…outgoing.

The first day, the pair worked hard to figure out how to make the infant stop crying. They found out she just needed food and a diaper change. Tommy had groaned in relief, sitting on Tubbo’s floor as he held the baby feeding her the milk. From there, Tubbo questioned where he even found a child.

“She was abandoned in a basket, in a tree. I decided to be a big man about it and take her in.”

“Are you crazy? Tommy, you didn’t even know her gender until two minutes ago.”

“Shut up.” Tommy huffed looking at his friend as he stopped giving (Y/N) milk for the moment. “I can figure it out, I’m still new to this Tubbo.”

“I think maybe we should give her to one of the other guys. We don’t know what to do, we just ran around my house for five minutes trying to make her stop crying for god’s sake.”

“I’ll figure it out! Even without your help.” Tommy looked back down at the infant, continuing to feed her.

So, Tubbo went along with it. Tommy was stubborn and to make sure the baby didn’t get hurt, Tubbo said he’d help his friend. To be fair, they didn’t have to do much, it was just a lot of work to do the few things and barely any time to do the same adventures they use to do.

Tommy was determined to do most of it on his own, only going to Tubbo when he was desperate for help. Which were a few times a week. He got better and better though, learning what (Y/N) needed and when.

Tommy had managed to make a crib all on his own (with a couple of tries) and he discovered, (Y/N) liked her crib at the end of his bed. She just liked being close to Tommy often and he actually didn’t mind. He was proud to show off his baby.

When he had shown her off to the others, they had all been in various bits of shock. Of course, when he first introduced her, the first thing he shouted was always;

“I’m a father now bitch! Meet (Y/N)!”

As he would, (Y/N) would giggle and babble, his excited energy rubbing off on her. After their various bits of shock (and Bad telling him to watch his language even more now that there was a baby), they would indeed think (Y/N) was cute but give him the same advice as Tubbo. Give her to an adult.

“None of them! None of them think I can take care of you.” Tommy huffed as (Y/N) finished her milk for the hour. “Isn’t that ridiculous?”

Tommy did struggle often. He didn’t get as much sleep as he once did, he stayed inside with (Y/N) more. It was a big change, but he was taking it seriously despite all his jokes. Just, no one could see it because they only saw Tommy as a child.

“Well, they’re all idiots. I know I have this.” Tommy told the infant as he sat back in bed, holding her. “Right Little (F/L)?”

(Y/N) squirmed slightly, babbling and Tommy smiled.

“Right! It’s that time.” He grinned as he stood up, going into his chests next to his jukebox.

As he pulled out one of his discs, Tubbo knocked on the door as he came in.

“Hey, am I interrupting?” He asked.

“No, you’re actually in time Big T!” Tommy said as he put the red labeled disc on.

“For what?” Tubbo questioned confused as Tommy sat down.

The music started to play and (Y/N) relaxed in Tommy’s arms. Tommy smiled softly, gently rocking her in his arms as he hummed along to the music. Tubbo was staring in amazement from behind Tommy’s seat.

“Do you…do you do this often?”

“Of course.” Tommy grinned at his best friend. “She’s got to learn great music. And look, she loves it so much she falls asleep.”

He was correct as when Tubbo looked, (Y/N) was giving a tiny yawn as she nuzzled into Tommy.

“Every day after lunch, I play the disc I got when I found her and she takes a nap.” Tommy quieted down; startling Tubbo as Tommy never quieted down. “I want to find more to let her hear more.”

Tommy put her down in her crib once she was fully asleep, motioning to the door. They both left as the music kept playing.

“We should go get more discs tomorrow.” Tommy declared, keeping his voice level as he went through his chests. “(Y/N) needs to hear them all and I want to have them all.”

“You…do that every day?” Tubbo said, still caught up on Tommy’s gentleness.

Tommy rolled his eyes. “Of course, I do. (Y/N) likes it and I like it so that’s our routine Tubbo. Sometimes it takes a while though and I have to move around the room.”

He didn’t mention that he danced to the music with her though, laughing with her as she would giggle, slightly embarrassed about the cute routine.

“So, are we going to go out tomorrow and get some discs or not?” Tommy grinned at his friend.

Tubbo stood there, thinking over what he had just seen. He thought about how he was actually wrong about Tommy. His best friend really cared about the girl; his own little girl. Tommy had acted drastically different than what he usually did to make sure she was well and happy. The taller boy was actually taking this very seriously and Tubbo couldn’t help but be proud of his friend.

“Tubbo.” Tommy snapped his fingers, looking at him disapprovingly.

“Oh, yeah. Let’s get some discs tomorrow. It’s been forever since we’ve gone on an adventure.” Tubbo smiled.

He thought Tommy could do this whole dad thing right.

…

Then he slightly regretted his words in the morning when Tommy showed up with the little girl and his adventuring gear.

“We are not taking (Y/N). It’s dangerous Tommy!” Tubbo protested.

“Nothing will happen to her; I wouldn’t let it. Neither would you. And try and say no to this face.” Tommy showed her off, grinning. “Come on now Uncle Tubbo.”

Tubbo paused, getting slightly giddy. “Uncle Tubbo?”

“Of course! Now! Let’s go get some discs!” Tommy took lead.

“…Wait! You distracted me!” Tubbo called exasperated as he followed his best friend.

(Y/N) giggled as Tommy grinned wider. Tommy was stubborn but in the case of being a father, it was a good thing as it meant his baby would grow up healthy and happy and he could care less about what others would say.

Wilbur

L’Manberg didn’t have many secrets but it had one well-guarded one. That would be the simple fact that (Y/N) existed.

After the first night with the new baby, Wilbur had gathered all the men inside the van.

“Time to greet the people little one.” He smiled as he heard the commotion of Tommy trying to command the others.

Coming out, he put on a serious face as everyone went quiet. Of course, Eret and Fundy already knew. The teenager had his arms crossed, looking away from his father and new sister, as Eret gave a small smile. The other two of L’Manberg…

“Did you fuck another fish?!” Tommy shouted in exasperation to his brother.

Fundy gave Tommy an offended glare as (Y/N) squirmed at the sudden loud noise.

“Tommy, quiet down now,” Wilbur told him as he gently rocked the little girl, Tubbo awing at how adorable she was. “Eret found her left outside the walls last night. I’m taking her in as she was obviously abandoned. So, meet the first woman of L’Manberg, (Y/N).”

“(Y/N) is a wonderful name.” Eret smiled a bit wider.

“She’s so cute and small,” Tubbo said, taking a step closer to get a better look at her.

Tommy huffed, already bored as Fundy simply stayed quiet.

“That being said, we are in the middle of a war.”

The weight of everything came back to rest on their shoulders as everyone with a smile stopped holding one. It was a dangerous time for all of them, no one able to leave the walls without a friend. Walls that were supposed to mean their freedom.

“That’s why no one must know (Y/N) exists. She must be a secret from all of the Dream SMP. They’ve shown how ruthless they can be and I don’t want to think about what they’d do if they knew about her. So, beyond these walls, (Y/N) doesn’t exist.”

Everyone gave a nod at the same time as (Y/N) had started to play with the ruffles on Wilbur’s uniform. He smiled gently as her as he took her hand, letting her play with his finger instead before looking dead serious at his men again.

“I can’t have just a nod. I need you to be verbal. This will not be taken lightly.”

Tommy spoke first as he gave a salute. “You have my word, Wilbur!”

Wilbur cracked a small smile; he could always rely on his little brother. “Good, now quiet down a bit.”

From there, it was a chorus of promises and she was their biggest secret that united them. Not even a traitor would dare breath word of her place in their walls.

The men could see a difference in their leader every day since then.

He left the van more often, actually going to his own home in the walls. Daily, everyone would see him carrying (Y/N) with him in her own little uniform he made on a walk within the walls. He sang more often like he used to before the declaration of war was made in order to soothe the little girl or simply to make her smile. There was a reason for him to relax and be soft and everyone was rather glad after all the weight he had been forced to hold.

Wilbur also saw the change in his men as the days went on.

Tubbo found joy with such an adorable new addition. He would sometimes join Wilbur on his daily walks within the walls to have a chance to hold the small girl. The young boy loved to also give her little gifts, usually toys he thought she’d like. He was very excited when Wilbur told him that she slept with a bee plushie he had gotten her.

Tommy was curious about her. Such a small thing, he was certain he was way bigger than her when he was that young. Wilbur let him hold her on the occasion if Tommy asked, but wouldn’t wonder if Tommy was holding her. He had faith in his little brother, but his eccentric energy just put Wilbur a little on edge. Often, Tommy would brag to the little girl that he’d be the coolest uncle and teach her many swear words when she got older, much to Wilbur’s dismay.

Eret did like the little girl, he really did as she was such a precious little thing, but he tried not to put too much attachment to her. He had begun…he had begun a different path and he didn’t want to also betray the little girl. And, the more separation he felt from her, the easier it was to lie about her existence. Though, there was the occasion he would do the same as Tubbo and gave her a toy or two, unable to help it as it put a smile on his face.

Fundy was different. He had been an only child for most of his life and now he had a little sister? It was only natural that he was jealous and sulked at all the attention she got from their father. Their father did try to include Fundy though; inviting every day on their walks, offering to let her feed instead, asking to play his piano while Wilbur sang. Unfortunately, Fundy wanted nothing to do with his little sister, often saying he hated her, which repeatedly broke Wilbur’s heart but he had faith; he’d change his son’s mind.

“I’m trying to have a peace talk with Dream today,” Wilbur told Fundy as he shrugged on his jacket while Fundy was sitting in the front seat of the van.

“Ok, and?” Fundy looked up at him.

“I’m taking Tubbo and Eret, Tommy’s staying guard and you.” Wilbur handed him a piece of paper. “And you are taking care of your sister.”

“What?! What the hell?” Fundy exclaimed, jumping up.

Wilbur put the paper in Fundy’s hand. “I have to go and try and make peace. I have faith in you son. (Y/N) would love to spend time with you anyways. Take good care of her alright? I don’t trust Tommy to watch her for so long but if you really need help, get him.”

“What…Why do I have to watch the brat?”

Wilbur gave him a stern look. “Fundy, she is your little sister. She is a part of our family. And family takes care of each other. Now, I want you to be nice to her and take care of her. Understood?”

Fundy clenched his jaw, shoving his hands in pockets. “Yeah, yeah.”

“Good.” Wilbur smiled at him now. “She’s still sleeping in my room. That paper is what she needs and when. You can do anything with her in-between. I’ll see you in a few hours my son.”

Wilbur left; his heart heavy as this was the first time he’d leave (Y/N) alone but hope helping it float as he hoped Fundy could love his sister as Wilbur loved her.

Fundy went into his father’s bedroom and saw the little girl already waking up slightly. He gave a heavy sigh as he picked her up carefully, holding her close.

“I hate you.” He muttered as she looked up at him.

The little girl giggled and he lowered his head. She gave pet to his face to feel the soft fur.

“I hate you’re too fucking adorable to hate.” He huffed. “Just don’t tell dad. Now, come on dipshit, time to eat.”

Fundy was jealous, yes. But he could never actually hate his adorable little sister. He’d keep her safe and make her happy too.

Wilbur got back later than he expected as Dream and his goons had chased their peaceful band like sport but they managed out relatively unscathed. The moon was already up and Wilbur was worried as he hadn’t written instructions for this long in the night for Fundy. After Tommy reported no incidents along the walls, Wilbur rushed home but froze, his heart-melting. In the living room, there was a long finished playing record on the jukebox and on the couch, Fundy laid with his arm over (Y/N) securely as she laid on his chest, both of them asleep.

“Thank you, my little champion,” Wilbur muttered with a smile, gently picking (Y/N) up before putting a blanket over Fundy. “I’m proud of you.”

Wilbur held (Y/N) close to him as he walked to his bedroom.

“And you, my little star, a day won’t go by where you won’t be loved. You’re our little star of hope in L’Manberg. You remind everyone what we fight for and you bring everyone smiles. We will bring peace, just so you can see how bright you shine my little star.” He kissed her forehead before putting her in her crib. “Sleep well love.”

Philza

Walking took longer than flying but it was definitely safer for his new little angel. He had tried to find her parents, asking around with the survivors but they weren’t there. So, Phil took her with him to meet his sons. When he started this journey, of the list of things he’d thought would happen, he didn’t think he’d gain a new child. Yet, there she slept peacefully in the sash Phil had made to carry her and keep her warm rather than carrying her in his arms the entire walk.

She most certainly quieter than most of his other children had been when they were this small, which Phil did not mind one bit. When she was awake, he would talk to her to fill her world though. He’d tell her about her new brothers and how he was sure they’d all love her in their own way.

“Techno will take a little convincing, he has a thing about orphans.” Phil scrunched up his nose. “But he’ll learn to you like you (Y/N).”

He hadn’t been able to find a name either for the new baby so he gave her one on his own.

Finally, after days of travel, Phil reached a crest of a hill and was able to see a beautiful town laid before him. From the looks of some decorations, they had some sort of festival recently. The worrying part was the people in armor down below, but, a large portion of them were celebrating. Phil scanned them over then he grew a large smile. Wilbur was patting Tommy’s shoulder as the younger boy was screaming with one of those celebrating, Techno to the side smirking.

His sons had managed to figure it all out.

“Looks like we were a little late angel. Your brothers can be smart when they choose to be.” He chuckled. “We’ll wait here and let them have their moment of victory.”

He sat on the edge of the hill, giving (Y/N) her afternoon milk as he watched the crowd below and listened to the start of celebratory speeches. As he quickly burped the infant, he frowned as Wilbur left his seat in the crowd, walking away as Tubbo was getting on stage.

“Let’s go see what he’s up to.” He muttered to the little girl, putting her in his sash securely before carefully flying over.

He landed as Wilbur walked into a room in a hill behind the stage. His eyes went wide as he remembered one of Tommy’s letters.

Will keeps saying if he can’t have L’Manberg, no one can. He made a room rigged to TNT under our nation. I’m hoping to talk him down but I don’t know if I can.

“Shit.” Phil sprinted over, walking into the room after his son.

Inside were mad scribblings as Wilbur stood with his hand on the wall next to a button.

“What are you doing?” Phil asked him.

Wilbur jumped, whirling around to see his father standing there, wearing a sash, unable to see the child it was holding.

“Phil…?”

“What are you doing?” Phil repeated.

Wilbur ran his hands through his hair as he looked back at the button then his father.

“How’d you…do you know what this is?” He motioned to the room around him.

“I do.” Phil nodded, stepping carefully forward.

“Have heard the songs on the walls?” Wilbur asked in turn as he ran his hand over a few of the words. “I was just saying to myself, there was a special place where men can go, but there’s not anymore! It’s not…” Wilbur sighed as he looked back at the button.

“It is there,” Phil told him as he put a hand on the side of the child to calm her down as she squirmed. “You just, you’ve just won it back.”

“Phil! I’m always so close to pressing this button, Phil! I’ve been—I’ve been here like seven or eight times I’ve been here.” Wilbur threw up his arms as Phil stood his ground when he saw the crazed look in his son’s eyes.

The little girl tried to give an uncomfortable babble at the loud shouting but Wilbur talked over her, having yet to notice the extra body in the room. In comfort, Phil put a hand over one of her ears as he pressed her close to him.

“Phil I-I’ve been here so many times.” Outside of the room, they all could hear the sound of fireworks going off. “They’re fighting. They’re fighting.”

“And you want to just blow it all up?” Phil questioned.

“I do I think I—”

“You fought so hard to get this land back.” Phil tried to discourage one of his older sons. “So hard.”

“I don’t even, I don’t even know if works anymore Phil,” Wilbur said, his hand hovering over the button, making Phil take a step forward. “I don’t even know if the button works I could, I could press it and might not…”

Wilbur looked back, grinning like a mad man and Phil squeezed the young girl lightly.

“Do you really want to take that risk? Wilbur…” He went to continue to say, hoping to bring up his new little sister to discourage the man but Wilbur looked away, staring at the button.

“There was a saying Phil, by a traitor. It was never meant to be.” Wilbur pressed the button, grinning at Phil as the hiss went off.

“No!” Phil shouted, quickly pulling his son close as he covered the three of them his wings as the blast went off.

He winced as the blast and the heat singed and damaged his feathers but he didn’t move as he held his two children close. He wouldn’t let them get harmed.

The sound of white noise rang in their ears as the explosions slowly stopped. Phil raised his wings slightly to look in horror at the destruction before them. Outside their half-destroyed room, Phil slowly started to hear the voices crying with terror at what they just witnessed as Wilbur stood before the hole holding his arms out as he grinned.

“My L’Manberg Phil! My unfinished symphony forever unfinished! If I can’t have this no one can Phil!”

“Oh my god.” Phil breathed, the ringing dying down enough for him to be startled at the cries closest to him.

(Y/N) screamed out cries in the aftermath of the loud explosions and shouting, her own ears ringing. Phil held her close, trying to calm her down despite his horror and disappointment. Wilbur finally heard the cries himself and looked over to finally notice the little girl. For a moment, he could see through his madness.

“Who’s…who’s this?” Wilbur muttered.

“She’s (Y/N),” Phil told him as he put his forehead on the little girl’s. “I came to help you and found her. I brought her to show her what her new brothers made. What great work you’ve done.”

“What great…” Wilbur looked over at what he had done.

Behind him, he could hear the cries of his new tiny sister he hadn’t been aware he had. Phil had brought her to show her a place of peace and beauty, but instead, Wilbur showed her terror and destruction. Across the explosion, he could see Tommy’s horror-struck face at the sight of their once great nation gone. This was his fault…

He pulled his sword, holding the handle to Will. “Kill me, Phil.”

“What?!” Phil looked at his son shocked, still clutching onto the crying girl.

“Stab me with the sword. Murder me now. Kill me!” Will demanded as he motioned to the crowd. “Look, they all want you to!”

Phil was stood in shock as he held a crying child in one arm while looking over at the crowd of terrified and horror-filled faces.

“Kill me, Phil!” Wilbur shouted.

“I—You’re my son!” Phil yelled. “No matter what you do—I can’t—”

“Phil!” Wilbur shouted, shoving the sword handle into his hand. “This isn’t—! Look! Look! How much work went into this and it’s gone! Do it.”

Phil looked from his son to the crowd, to the child in his arms. He couldn’t…why’d…(Y/N) should get a chance to meet her own brother! L’Manberg had ruined his son. He had gone mad…

“I’m sorry.” He whispered under his breath before plunging the sword.

Tears filled Phil’s eyes as he let go of the sword and held his son. (Y/N)’s wails only got louder and Phil cried with her.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry both of you.” He muttered

He wished everything could be different…

…

Phil sat by the fire with the L’Manberg citizens, one of his hands shaking slightly as the other gently rocked the no longer crying child.

Tommy had been speechless since the betrayal he received from both of his brothers, but looking up at his father across from him, he stood and spoke.

“Who’s she?” He asked.

Phil looked at him as the others looked over as well.

“This is your new little sister (Y/N). I found her when the village I was staying at was raided and I saved her. Would you like to hold her?”

Tommy came over and sat in front of his father. Phil helped him before letting his now second youngest hold her on his own. Tommy’s face had held no emotion after everything today but now it softened as the little girl met his eyes. He hugged her lightly as Phil held onto his shaking hand with his other to stop it.

“I wish you could have seen what L’Manberg looked like (Y/N),” Tommy mumbled to her. “Wilbur and Techno betrayed me but I promise. I won’t betray you. I never will do that to you.”

Phil looked at his son sadly as Tommy put his forehead on hers softly. At least Phil knew that she’d be well-loved by the brother she got to meet properly.

From there, the next few days were made for rebuilding. Phil helped the group as best he could but he had to rest to let his wings heal and he also had to take care of his little angel. Tommy made sure the others built Phil one of the first houses so his sister could be in a proper bed.

It warmed Phil’s heart that Tommy cared so much about his new little sister. Tommy would visit the pair occasionally just to see her, Phil giving him a little bit of trust to take care of her. Of course, Tommy used that trust to be his usual self and brag about how cute his little sister was to anyone that would listen to the boy’s antics. Though many couldn’t deny the boy, she was a very cute little girl and often brought smiles to other’s faces.

Phil was glad that his quiet little girl could bring joy to people that had been through so much. He just wished that she had had a chance to bring smiles to those that didn’t walk beside them any more…

Technoblade

“Phil,” Techno called on his walkie, trying to quiet down the girl crying in his arms.

“Yes?” Phil answered.

“She won’t stop crying,” Techno told him, Phil, able to hear the girl, chuckling quietly to himself. “Don’t laugh at this!”

“Sorry, sorry. Alright, you feed and changed her right?” The older man listed.

“Yes.” He had done it a few minutes ago, on his usual schedule to do so.

“Did you burp her after she ate?”

Techno paused and huffed before burping the child, the cries dying down after she released the gas that had built up.

“I forgot, she stopped.”

“Good. Just relax now, alright Techno?”

“Yeah.” Techno sighed as he put his walkie away, looking down at the little girl. “What now brat?”

It was often that Techno called his father to ask what to do. To put it simply, he was worried he’d fuck this all up. He had never exactly taken care of a child before; it had been all anarchy and blood before he decided on retirement. Hell, he barely ever took care of Tommy when he was a child, that was usually Wilbur’s thing.

He didn’t know the first thing he was doing nor did the voices. They always threw out different ideas contradicting each other. So, Techno always did his best and when it didn’t seem like enough, he went immediately to Phil.

When he did have things under control though, it was just any other day. Brew some potions out of habit, take care of the animals before collecting food for himself and milk for (Y/N), and trade with some of the villagers close by. The only difference was that he brought (Y/N) with him while he did anything.

To his relief, she was a quiet child and didn’t mind his quiet nature. She didn’t need pointless noise to be happy so he could just simply work. Techno did get Phil to make her a warmer outfit and Phil took it seriously but also made it a joke. He made her a pink outfit from wool and leather and with a bit extra, put fake pig ears on the hood of the outfit, which Techno would never admit looked adorable on her out loud.

He most certainly didn’t put it on her even if they weren’t going out that day, why would anyone think that?

Phil most certainly did spoil her though when he would come over. He’d always have something new for the little girl, clothes, and toys. His father also often tried to discourage Techno from using some of his nicknames for his child when the older man was over, such as brat.

(Y/N) yawned quietly and Techno chuckled, a small smile cracking on his face.

“Tired early huh? Yeah, ok, I can use a nap.” He nodded as he went up to his bedroom.

He sat on his bed, leaning back on the headboard as he racked his brain for their daily ritual.

“I got a good one today.” He laughed quietly. “Let me tell you about the story of Theseus.”

Every nap and bedtime, there was always a story for Techno to tell. Sometimes he’d tell her about his adventures around the world, about the places he conquered. There were other days when he’d tell her about myths he had memorized. It was when he’d talk the most to the little girl and he rather enjoyed these moments in his day.

It was their special little thing and he wouldn’t ever want to miss them.

Close to the end of the story, he stopped as he noticed (Y/N) was asleep. He nodded as he laid back, resting her carefully on his chest.

A crib was one thing Techno had not invested his time in. He didn’t move in his sleep and it was rare for the little girl to move in hers. So, he slept with her on his chest, giving him and the voices a better piece of mind. No one knew where he was, but he was still paranoid. This was the safest place for her.

“Sleep well little goddess,” Techno muttered, a hand on her back.

Despite the trials, he didn’t mind being a father.

Eret

Eret put a small flower crown on the infant’s head that matched the one he was wearing, smiling as she giggled, before picking her up, continuing on their daily walk through the SMP.

It was a lot of trial and error with the pair but Eret was a quick learner and adapted to the needs of his new child. He didn’t do as much as he once did with his friends, fewer prank wars with Fundy, and less involvement with Tommy’s antics, but he didn’t mind. He spent those hours with his little princess now; taking walks with her, playing with her along the way and in the castle, and making clothes that made her the adorable princess that she.

Of course, he did still sometimes get involved.

“Eret!” Tommy yelled on the walkie.

Eret chuckled as he took it from his pocket. “It seems Tommy is having troubles again princess.” She gave a babble and Eret nodded. “You’re very right. Let’s see what he needs. Yes, Tommy?”

“I need your help at my base ASAP!” Tommy demanded.

“It’s nothing dangerous right?” He asked.

“Of course not, now if you could hurry.”

He shook his head chuckling. “Alright, I’m on my way.”

Putting the walkie away, he hugged his little girl lightly as he changed direction.

“Sorry princess, we need to go check on Tommy. I know you won’t mind though.”

There were other times that had happened similarly and Eret would take (Y/N) with him to meet the younger boy. The younger boy’s energy would rub off on the infant and she would get excited as well, babbling and giggling constantly. As long as nothing dangerous was going on, Eret was glad to bring (Y/N) over as it always brought a smile to his face at how adorable she’d get.

Walking onto Tommy's property, he saw the young boy waiting impatiently outside his dirt home.

“There you are! You brought the brat?” He huffed.

“Come now, Tommy. (Y/N) loves being around you, at least be kind to her.” Eret smiled, knowing the boy meant no ill will.

“Right, now!” Tommy said dramatically as he opened the door to his base. “I need to make a plan!”

Following him in, he saw Tubbo was also there looking over a paper with Tommy’s handwriting on it. Tubbo looked up as they came in and grinned seeing the little girl in Eret’s arms.

“You brought (Y/N)!” Tubbo exclaimed excitedly as he came over. “Can I hold her?”

Eret laughed as he nodded, helping the other boy hold her. Tubbo enjoyed seeing the little girl, loving to play with her and spend time with her. There were times when Eret would let Tubbo babysit his princess so he could do a few more dangerous tasks.

“You got a little crown, you’re really a princess now.” Tubbo grinned as the girl babbled at him.

“We’re not here for (Y/N), we’re here to plan!” Tommy protested now.

Tommy didn’t mind the small child, he just got annoyed when the focus would come off him.

Focus went back on Tommy but Eret left after a little while to give (Y/N) her lunch for the day. She had gotten energetic after seeing the two boys, babbling and giggling as Eret played with her on the walk back. As they got back to his castle, he saw a wrapped package and note at the main door. Picking it up, he saw it was Fundy’s handwriting.

You stand no chance, it’s for (Y/N)

He raised an eyebrow, opening the package then laughed.

“It seems Fundy wishes to make you love him more than me.” Eret showed her the fox plushy, making her eyes sparkle as he gave it to her. “But I know that you’ll always love me, princess.” He booped her nose, (Y/N) looking at his sunglasses, babbling. “That’s right. I think this prank was an automatic failure. I love you princess.”

Dream

“Come on (Y/N), you just got to hold out your hands to me,” Sapnap told the infant in the crib at the community house.

“No, she’s going to me,” George argued.

The little girl looked between the two as they went between bickering and encouraging her to hold her hands out to them. Then she looked directly between them and held her arms out giggling.

“What?” George looked behind them and yelped seeing Dream.

“What are you idiots doing?” Dream laughed as he picked up his daughter.

“We were trying to get (Y/N) to choose her favorite uncle, but then you ruined it.” Sapnap huffed, crossing his arms.

“Well, I am her favorite person.” Dream bragged as he pulled his mask up while looking at the little girl. “Peek-a-boo.”

The girl gave a little squeal of laughter and Dream chuckled rubbing his nose against hers.

“She loves both of you idiots.” Dream told them, put his mask back on. “You’re her uncles.”

“Yeah, but I got to prove Uncle Sapnap is the best.” Sapnap pointed to himself.

“No! I’m better than you of course.”

The two bickered and Dream shook his head at his friends before leaving the community house.

“Your uncles are stupid.” Dream whispered to the little girl, tickling her stomach making her giggle. “Why don’t we go look at what the new people have built today, sound good sweetheart?”

After Dream had taken in the little girl, his life had most certainly brightened more as their world around them grew. She was a constant ball of happiness that always made Dream and his friends smile. Of course, they had to power through learning how to take care of a baby, a lot of screaming coming from all parties the first night they had the child. But they were starting to get the hang of it.

One thing Dream loved to do that always seemed to please the little girl was taking her around to see the new buildings that were slowly starting to appear as more people joined their land of the SMP. She seemed to like taking in the new sights so Dream took her whenever someone new came or a new build appeared.

“I don’t know what I’m going to do with your uncles when you get older. They’re going to be falling over each other to get your attention.” Dream told her as he walked. “I think they think I’ll like whoever wins. You’re my special little girl after all. But what they don’t know, is I don’t care as long as you’re happy.”

It was very true that Dream’s two best friends were always falling each other to get the attention of the infant already. They got her many things to win her over, having similar competitions when Dream wasn’t looking. Right now, the score was even.

To try and balance the two-out, Dream would alternate on who he took out for dangerous adventures and who would stay with his little girl. He couldn’t send the both of them on their own, unfortunately, least one of them “trips” into a lava pool.

Dream stopped on the edge of the new property, (Y/N) looking at the colorful flowers decorating it.

He was a bit hesitant to show her off to others as he wasn’t the most trusting but if they were going to be part of his land, he would introduce her out principle. He did say she was going to be the princess of his land.

“No new faces today doesn’t seem Tommy is around.” Dream said to her. “We’ll see him later I’m sure. How about we go visit Punz for a bit?”

He walked away from the property. There were so many people on his land now, he was sure it would become a bright place where his little princess could always be happy.

Lost Ones Taglist: @kakamihasatmblr @ialexabsuniverse @teaguecosmos @chaosofsmarty

A/N: If you want to be in this taglist I have a post on my page you can reply on or just send me an ask :)

#mcyt x reader #mcyt fanfiction #dreamsmp #tommyinnit x reader #wilbur soot x reader #philza x reader #technoblade x reader #eret x reader #dream x reader

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beyondspaceandstars · 3 years

Text

Happy Engagement

Relationship: Loki x Reader Warnings: contains some dark elements: manipulation Summary: Loki has always thought of you as his and there isn’t anything he won’t do to keep it that way. A/N: I’ve been sitting on this one shot for a while! I had the idea for it months ago and finally wrote it and then it just sat on my computer while I wrote other stuff but I figured since I don’t have anything really new this week it’d be perfect to put out! I hope you enjoy it because I greatly do :)

Masterlist

Loki had always been an interesting force in your life.

You two met when you were just children in school. You two were the official unofficial outsides of your school year — he was a prince, you were a peasant. Despite his royal standing, he’d play with you at recess. For these outlier ways, you two never interacted much with the other kids, life practically forcing you two to one another.

At such a young age, you hadn’t realized how significant this bond would become. As a child, you were just glad someone was talking to you. He shouldn’t have even been looking at you, should’ve maybe been disgusted with your presence alone. You should’ve been some onlooker, amazed by him and his magic but you weren’t — well, except for the magic part. His magic was little when you were kids but it drew quite the amazement from you.

Over time, you two naturally grew with one another. From childhood into your teens and still, now, you two made an unlikely pair of best friends as young adults. All of this though did not come without some bumps along the way.

In your teens, Loki had almost completely shut you out. For some reason, he seemed to be acting embarrassed by you. Your mother had warned you this may happen but you thought he was different, swore he was, unless his sincerity was like the many other tricks he played. Eventually, supposedly after some talking down from his brother, Loki appeared back at your door asking if you wanted to go for a walk.

This disappearing and coming back had become a habit for him over his teenage years and into adulthood. Loki never explicitly told you why but you could tell there was something eating away at him. It had been there a long time and it felt like disassociating himself with you was his solution.

You thought everything was coming to an abrupt end when you fell pregnant. You had been seeing a nobleman who was a regular customer in your parents’ shop. He was absolutely charming and delightful, practically swept you right off your feet within minutes of meeting. Your parents were ecstatic when he asked to court you.

You yourself were stunned but you ran to tell Loki about it. He was speechless. You tried telling him about the man but something in Loki snapped. He got unreasonably upset, spewing hateful comments about the man, practically forcing you out of his chambers in the process. He went radio silent again.

You tried to ignore losing your best friend — again — and focused on your new relationship. He wooed you endlessly with dates to lavish dinners and dawning you in lovely gowns. It was all so much more than you had ever expected in life. He’d tell you you deserved it and whisper sweet nothings in your ear as you two would get so lost in one another.

A bit shamefully, hypnotized by the romantics of it all, you gave yourself to him. Tangled in the sheets with him as your guide, you let the man you felt you would marry have every last bit of you.

And for a while after, it was blissful. Nothing had seemed to change between you two until he announced he had to go away for a bit. Confused, you asked why suddenly now facing the fact you were losing another person in your life. He explained he was needed by his father on a different realm, part of the family "business," as he described it.

Days after his departure, you learned you were pregnant. Around this time, Loki popped back up in your life. You felt relieved having someone to confide in but when you told him of your pregnancy, he was far from the supportive force you thought you’d get. He didn’t yell or get upset per se but he was beyond stunned.

He left for a bit then but can back in less time than last. This time he brought along baby supplies and congratulated you. It was a complete one-eighty from his prior behavior but you accepted it, gratefully. Loki ended up being your main person throughout the pregnancy as clues of when your boyfriend would return were nonexistent.

"Did he know you were carrying his child when he left?" Loki had asked you one night. You two were sitting in the living room of the makeshift house you had acquired. You didn’t feel very good that this was the home you were bringing a child into when you knew her father could’ve provided her with a better one. But, at the end of the day, it was a roof over both your heads.

You crocheted another knot in the baby blanket. "No, he didn’t. I didn’t even know."

Loki gave a passing hum at that answer. He didn’t ask about your boyfriend very much after that.

Once your baby girl arrived, she became your entire world, your entire focus. Between caring for her and working to provide, you had little time to worry about your boyfriend still being gone. But it wasn’t as lonely as it may have looked because Loki was always by your side. Working around his royal duties, he’d take time to come visit you and your daughter even sometimes staying for dinner or to play with her. You didn’t miss how he was unintentionally becoming the father she was missing. You never said anything, though, always biting your tongue as you waited for her father to return.

Hope began to face on that front after your daughter turned three. Maybe he was just a footnote in your life, a foolish hopeful dream, but at least he had given you the lovely gift of your child. You weren’t giving up, still placing him in the boyfriend spot of your mind, but you couldn’t deny doubt crept in. Maybe a relationship of any capacity just wasn’t in the cards for you.

Or so you thought.

As Loki continued with his royal responsibilities, he was growing older and more powerful. That’s when the rumors of marriage began floating about. Your mother had brought it up to you once asking if you met any of his potential suitors. Your stomach did a somersault. You didn’t even know there were suitors, let alone met any of them. You tried to keep your cool and just told her no.

Who these suitors were and if they really existed, you never found out. You never even had the guts to ask about them especially after Loki pulled you aside one night after a dinner at the palace.

He rarely ever invited you to dinners with his family so to get this spontaneous invitation, you didn’t hesitate to attend. He even allowed you to bring along your daughter. She was playing with some servants’ children when Loki asked you to the garden.

"Feeling like a nighttime stroll?" You asked with a little laugh. Loki just smiled.

"There’s actually something I want to speak to you about."

"Oh," you frowned. "Is everything okay?"

Loki nodded. "Yes, yes, everything is fine." He looked up at the sky, almost lost in thought as you walked. You thought for a split second how lovely he looked. "I’m sure you have heard by now the…talk about my anticipated engagement."

Your heart practically stopped beating at that moment. Your hands instinctively gripped at the skirt of your dress as if you were ready to run away at the drop of a hat. Trying to keep your voice stead, you said, "Yes, I believe my mother mentioned that to me the other day."

He shot you an unreadable side glance. Your hands gripped the fabric tighter. Why were you feeling like this? Was that…jealousy you felt? You didn’t understand where that had come from. This was your best friend. Your prince best friend. He was bound to get married and have a lavish life with his bride. You couldn’t stop that, you couldn’t change it.

"Do you know anything of the women I have been offered?"

Was this another one of his cruel jokes? You wanted to vomit all over the bushes of flowers passing you as you walked. You managed to shake your head in response. "I’m sure they’re all wonderful."

He scoffed. "More like they’re all incredibly boring."

You gasped, "Loki, I’m not sure you should be speaking that way of them."

"It’s doesn’t matter," he shrugged, "because none of them are what I want."

You didn’t know if you actually wanted to know what he was seeking. You looked at him wearily.

You two walked in silence for a moment. Loki was now watching the ground intensely. You couldn’t believe how much his gaze was wandering. It must’ve been for courage because the next words out of his mouth were ones you had never thought you’d ever hear. From anyone.

"I believe you could be what I want," he said. He spoke your name so softly. "I’d like to ask for your hand in marriage."

You stopped walking, your legs suddenly unable to move. Your eyes grew wide as complete shock raced over you. You didn’t know what to do, too scared to speak because you didn’t know what was going to come out. Your first thought was that this was one of his magic tricks. Maybe he wasn’t even here, just a clone of him as he wished to make a fool of you. It wouldn’t be the first time but he had never been so cruel.

"You’re not saying anything," Loki noted. He had stopped a few feet ahead of you, completely taken off guard by your halt.

"I-I don’t understand." The words felt so heavy forcing their way out of your mouth.

"I don’t believe I stuttered, dear."

Your jaw dropped, surprised it hadn’t hit the floor already. He was seriously asking this. Loki, a literal prince, and your best friend, was asking for your hand in marriage. But — But you just didn’t know why. Why would he ask such a thing? Not only were you an unwed mother, he knew very well about your boyfriend. It was almost insulting he’d think you’d give up just because business or whatever it was was taking a while. You didn’t even want to begin to think about what this could all mean for your daughter.

"Loki… I… I don’t know. This seems crazy—,"

"Crazy?" His expression turned dark. You suddenly regretted the word despite it holding true. "What is so crazy about me wanting to take your hand? I thought this could be good. You and your daughter would have everything you’d ever want. You’d be a princess for crying out loud!"

You flinched at his anger. You had never seen him so enraged before. It made your whole body stiffen.

"I see. This… This is very generous of you but my boyfriend…"

Loki chuckled but there wasn’t any humor found within it. "Of course. The nobleman." He rolled his eyes. "Tell me again, dear, how long has it been? Do you really think he’s going to just show back up one day?"

"Of course," you nodded. "He told me—,"

"He’s not coming back."

You began shaking your head, growing more and more upset as the seconds passed. "You don’t know that."

Loki sighed, defeatedly. "I do know that, dear." A heavy pause. "I know that because I’m the one that sent him away."

You were certain in that moment your heart had stopped. Everything had stopped. You could barely tell anymore how you got from point A to point B.

"Wh-What do you mean?"

"What I mean is I’ve had my eye on you for a long time," he explained. He was standing so tall making you feel minuscule. "I always thought you could be just right for me but then that nobleman waltzed into your life. Granted, he wasn’t me. He couldn’t give you what I could but he tried his best." Loki shrugged. "I had no choice, really. He threatened everything. He derailed my plan but it’s alright. I think after tonight it’ll be back on track, correct?"

You held your hands up in defense, practically begging Loki to slow down. Your head was spinning. "You sent away the father of my child?"

Loki sighed, sounding actually regretful. "Truly, that wasn’t ever my intention. I didn’t know he was going to do that."

"And you think since you forced him out of the picture, you can swoop in and ask for my hand in marriage? We never had a courtship! Are you even hearing yourself?"

"I’m a prince, darling." He sounded so casual. "We do not court like the rest of you."

Gosh, you felt like you were going to vomit. Your hands fell to your stomach as you tried to calm yourself. You had never heard Loki separate you two so clearly before. Like he had drawn a line, definitively.

Your words tasted like venom as you forced yourself to speak. "Can I at least think about it?"

"I’m afraid not. They’d like an answer tonight."

Tonight. That was what this dinner had been for. You weren’t invited just out of the kindness of his heart. You had been attending your own engagement party.

"Loki, this… I— This is insane. You’re— You’re insane—,"

"Am I, really?" He pressed, taking a few steps closer. You trembled under a darkened gaze you had never seen before on him. "I’m not sure that’s how you should be speaking to the man trying to offer you a bit of… stability."

"Stability?" You repeated. "You think that’s all that I want?"

"Would this not grant your daughter a better life? The little shop of yours is only getting you two so far, dear."

The shock had worn off as you were now being filled with rage. "Don’t you dare bring my daughter into this anymore," you gritted. "Of course, I want nothing but the best for her but I also deserve someone who will truly love me. You’re — You’re just asking to fulfill some royal commitment and trying to pass it off like this is some big, grand gesture to help me."

Loki looked a bit taken back by your words. Even you were a bit surprised by yourself. You didn’t know where this fight was coming from within you. Probably from the depths of motherhood, if you had to guess. But it felt good in a way.

After a heavy moment, Loki asked, "Was I so wrong to assume this proposal could actually help us both?"

That was the real kicker of it all, you thought. This actually could help you both.

"I want to marry someone who loves me."

Loki seemed to debate around the idea mentally. "I’m certain that within time something could bloom. I’m not a psychopath, darling." He smirked. "But I truly can’t believe you’d give this up all for the minuscule chance at love, the hopeless thing that got you where you are today."

You gasped. "I would’ve had true love if you hadn’t banished him away!"

Loki let out a humorless laugh. "You are so adorable, you know that?" You flinched as he got close enough now to place a hand on your damp cheek. You were practically forced to look in his eyes as he spoke. "That man was nothing but a spoiled brat and I refuse to believe you actually fell for his game."

You felt yourself crumbling down again. Way beneath him. "He… He was really…"

"Don’t you dare try to defend him, do you hear me?" Loki spat. That darkness was washing over but this time it felt like a storm you couldn’t escape. "I will not have my bride speak such niceties about another man."

"Your bride—,"

"While I’ve enjoyed this little midnight confessional, we have some good news to share with everyone, don’t we?"

You didn’t know what to do. What to think anymore. He wasn’t letting up. You were trapped. It was like the prison gate had shut behind you. You were stone-cold now, completely under his control. You were giving up in complete defeat. You could scream until you were blue in the face but you were running in circles. At least your daughter would know a home.

"Yes."

Loki’s face lit up. He removed his hands from you. "Fantastic," he said, heading back towards the palace. You helplessly followed beside him. He wrapped an arm around your waist and said, "Happy engagement, dear."

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