#and this interview is the perfect example.... | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lazyjellyfish300 · 3 months

Text

The Woman He Didn't Choose 🌹

AU Bachelor Miguel O'Hara x Fem contestant reader

Synopsis: You went on a dating show just for kicks and giggles but faceplant when Miguel is the Bachelor. You made the final two, but he didn't choose you. Angst ensues.

A/N: I started the new season of The Bachelor and it got me thinking, what if Miguel was The Bachelor 😏😏 and what if it ended badly??!! 😫🤗 I'm thinking of using this as a segue into a new series where it'd be like Bachelor in Paradise where you're a contestant along with Spider-Verse favs like Peter B. Ben, Felicia, MJ, Jess. And there could be a lotta smut 😇 and I might bring Miguel back somehow 🤭let me know what you think.😝

If you're unfamiliar with the TV show The Bachelor, usually the finale is aired live, and the live audience watches the footage of the proposal/rejection of the runner up together and then brings the contestants back out to interview them on stage. Here's an example of what I pictured in my head.. ALSO please listen to the song at the beginning it's literally the PERFECT break up song for Miguel. 😫 Word count 4.6k

DISCLAIMER: I have changed the name of the show for copyright purposes, I don't own or have rights to the TV show The Bachelor and all credit goes to the rightful owners.

TW: ANGST, BREAKUP, SELF DOUBT, GASLIGHTING, INSECURITY, JEALOUSY, MENTIONS CYBER BULLYING ,MENTION OF SEX BUT NO SMUT, DESCRIPTION OF TWO PEOPLE MAKING OUT

Part 2 , Part 3, Part 4, Part 5

🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹

The camera pans to you sitting on a green velvet chaise lounge upon a sleek, reflective stage. Your legs were crossed at the ankles, red bottoms peeking out of the slit of the elegant black evening gown you wore.

Your lips were in a pout, trembling as they threatened to give way to a spill of tears that would fall in a neverending cascade down your cheeks.

You were being made to watch the most horrific heartbreak of your life played back on live television.

Having Miguel look into your eyes mid thrust when the cameras were off and he was on top of you in the Fairytale Suites in Thailand and whisper,

"I love you....I think you're the one....",

watch you walk down a sandy beach clad in a flowy pink dress that cost $60k and stand in front of peaceful cerulean waters, hands entertwined, look you in the eyes and proclaim in a shaky voice,

"I feel stronger love for Xina...," was the unforgiving papercut, and being pinned underneath the relentless barrage of scrutiny, hatred, and criticism from the viewers was the lemon juice being poured on top of it.

You watched yourself on the screen sob as you got into the backseat of the black Escalade as Miguel grimly shut the door behind you. You were taking deep, shaky breaths and leaning on your elbow as you tried to make sense of this profound stab wound he just gave you. Your reddened, teary eyes looked at the camera as your confessional.

"I.....I don't know what just happened...." You rub your temple and look out the window, your lip trembling and your face scrunching in agony. "The craziest part of all of this is....I still love him...."

A hushed, sympathetic awh emerges from the live audience.

You leaned over and cradled your head in your hands in frustration as the black suburban continued to drive.

"I just.... *shaky breath* wanna.....*choked sob*... be happy...when is it my turn to be happy...?" you break down as the screen fades again to black. This time focusing on you, perched on the chaise lounge onstage. The heartbroken woman Miguel did not choose for his wife.

The tall host, Jason Donner, is sitting across from you in a black armchair. He has neatly groomed, sandy blonde hair and stubble dotting his square jaw and white, pearly teeth. He looks at you, green eyes in a solemn expressesion. He addresses you, and then the audience in a quiet voice.

"Wow...that was...truly..... one of the most heartbreaking moments we've seen, I think in all of The Eligible Suitor Nation's history..."

He says your name quietly, then continues, "Now I am, so, so incredibly sorry that this did not have the happy ending you were hoping for..."

You're not looking at him but staring off, sad eyes still in a doe-like expression, a tear has escaped your left eye and is trickling down your cheek, followed shortly thereafter by another from your right.

Jason continues, "Tell me...what are your thoughts as you watch that playback for the first time?" He pauses to hear your answer.

You stay silent for the longest moment, then you finally break your statue-like gaze and take a deep breath, looking down at a spot on the floor so the audience's piercing stares don't throw off your train of thought.

You suddenly feel a rise of anger and frustration in your chest. What kind of question is that? How do you think I'm supposed to feel?

You try and keep it cool, the chains of the hefty NDA contract you signed to be on this show keeping you on your best behavior tonight.

"It feels.....awful, Jason." You look at him, and shrug your shoulders. "I really don't have words for it besides that. It feels awful to watch that."

Jason nods and leans forward, bringing his fingers to his mouth in a contemplative manner. "How did it feel when he said Xina was the one, I mean did you see this coming at all?"

You let out a deep sigh and can't help but roll your eyes a little bit. "No..... no, I did not see this coming, Jason, okay?" You say in an exasperated tone, your words edged with annoyance. "You know what..."

You stand up, shaking your head. "I can't do this." You rip off your body mic and throw it on your seat. "I can't fucking do this...." You gather up your dress train and carefully walk down the steps of the stage and briskly off the set towards your dressing room, sharp heels echoing as they hit the floor, letting out a large sob as soon as you're out of view, one of the cameramen chasing after you.

Jason looks at the camera a little mortified by your sudden reaction, but the camera crew and producers are silently rubbing their hands together, the promise of high ratings clouding their vision like stars in their eyes. That's it, bring on the drama. You were delivering tonight.

Jason clears his throat and flashes a smile at the camera. "Don't worry folks, this has all happened before..."

The audience gives a nervous chuckle.

"We'll give her a moment. But just remember, you'll get to catch her again on the beaches of paradise where other hot members of The Eligible Suitor Nation such as the likes of Ben Reilly, *audience cheers* , Felicia Hardy, *audience cheers*, and Peter B....*audience goes nuts* will have a second shot at love in our steamy Singles in Paradise, premiering this summer."

Jason smiles and raises his voice a little more to be heard over the squeals of the fans.

"We'll take a quick break but when we come back we'll hear Miguel's side of the story, and, a little later the happy couple will be making their grand debut for the first time in public since their romantic engagement in Thailand, which you'll need to see to believe. I must warn you all, it was probably one of the most romantic proposals we've seen in the show's history. Don't go anywhere folks."

🌹🌹🌹

In the beginning, your friend jokingly submitted an application for you to be on the show after you wouldn't stop bitching about your ex. She reassured you when you freaked out at the email you got from production, confirming your application was accepted.

"This will be good for you! Even if you don't marry the guy, at least you can get famous and have fun, be on TV for a little bit, get some free alcohol, maybe a nice date or two, yanno? Besides, you'll have a whole new roster of guys at your doorstep after they see your hot ass on television."

You were still upset until she gave you a list of reasons not to be. Sure, this could be fun, you eventually concluded. You only had a 1 out of 30 chance of winning anyway, why turn a blind eye to the possibilities that could come out of this?

When Miguel was announced as the eligible man you were going to be fighting for, you quit breathing when you saw how handsome he was. Tall, dark, a little stoic, a little nerdy, wants a family? He was literally pulled directly from your wildest imagination.

You were intimidated by how attracted to him you found yourself, but you decided when you stepped out of that limo, that you were going to keep your walls up and just enjoy the ride. You greeted him with a shy smile.

The producers had this weird idea to play up the dramatics that you were supposed to walk in with a bunch of fake autumn leaves from the craft store and throw them in the air and proclaim you're "falling" for him as your signature greeting.

You walked up to Miguel as he stood in front of the mansion, wearing a poker face. You threw the leaves in the air and one of them flew and smacked him in the face.

"Ppppppbbbbbbtttfffhh!"

You said the cheesy ass line, "I'm falling for you Miguel! Geddit?"

"The shock?...." Miguel gave you a confused look and your cheeks began to heat with embarrassment.

"Well, I'm from a small town, we're kinda known for our fall colors during the season." You say with a smile. You brushed one of the stray leaves off his shoulder. "I just want you to know I'm very excited for this journey and I can't wait to talk to you more when we go inside?"

After the initial obnoxiousness of your introduction Miguel managed to put on a polite smile. "Absolutely," he answered. "we'll talk more inside. Thank you for coming."

You gave his hands a squeeze and walked down a stone path into the large Tuscany style mansion, Miguel's eyes lingering on your figure for just one more moment before he let out a deep sigh.

🌹🌹🌹

When you started out on the show with 29 other women, you managed to keep a low profile for several weeks, staying out of trouble and befriending most of them, even becoming a fan favorite. Tweets sent out every week with a hashtag in front of your name in support, and constantly ranking in the top 10 favorite contestants in the fan polls on social media. But, it never occurred to you that you had a real shot until, on week 3, a date card with your name on it made its way into the mansion.

Your master plan of just 15 minutes of fame quickly morphed into a life or death situation for your heart when you went on that amazing first date with Miguel to see your all time favorite rock band: Goo Goo Dolls. They played Iris and brought you on stage in front of everyone. You slow danced as the song played, and he leaned in close, softly singing the lyrics in your ear, dedicating the whole thing to you.

"You're the closest to heaven, that I'll ever be and I don't wanna go home right now. And all I can taste is this moment. And all I can breathe is your life. And sooner or later it's over. I just don't wanna miss you tonight..."

And if the whole scene couldn't get any more romantic, a delicate shower of rain began to fall, and you and Miguel shared your first kiss which quickly snowballed into a makeout session on live TV.

Ever since that date, you became one of his favorites. Sometimes you swore he would look for you first as he entered a room. His eyes scanning urgently until they came to rest on you where they would linger for just a moment. Scarlet eyes that seemed to bleed only for you.

A language only you two could understand, before he'd gently look away, not wanting to give away his undeniable pull towards you in a crowd of many.

In between dates, you'd send little tokens to him through the producers like a sticky note that said "thinking of you..." or your favorite dad jokes. He'd read them with a smile and have them respond for him in the form of small Hershey's kisses or a sticky note that said in his messy handwriting,"couldn't stop thinking about you, either"

You'd giggle on top of cloud nine when he'd answer you back and you hid them quietly in your suitcase, not telling a soul.

Watching him kiss and date other women was much, much more difficult than you expected. Sometimes the way he'd look at one of the other girls would cause you to want to throw in the towel right then and there.

When you heard that he had kissed them, you couldn't get that mental image out of your mind, much less when you unfortunately witnessed it with your own eyes at one of the pre-elimination ceremony cocktail hours.

The way she was straddling his lap, making herself look so small in it....the way he was groaning into her mouth, the sounds their lips were making as they moved against each together, letting his hands wander down her back and come to rest on her ass...

The painful sting of jealousy was so unbearable that you just ran away, tears burning hot down your cheeks until you could lock yourself in the bathroom and just settle in a heap on the floor, hand clasped around your mouth so nobody could hear you cry.

It was so fucking unfair. You couldn't even be upset because this was what you signed up for. You thought you had a fairly strong grip on your self worth when you started the show, but every day tested you more than you ever thought possible.

You spent hours every morning getting ready with your hair, makeup, and outfits, walking out with your chest high, only to see the way one of the other women's hair just fell so flawlessly or how she barely needed any makeup to look perfect, or how her body just looked way hotter than yours in her tight dress, causing it to deflate once again.

But those moments when you finally had him all to yourself felt like you were the only woman in his world. Miguel knew just the right words to hum into your ear and just the right way to touch you with his fingertips. There was no place on Earth like his arms. His heartbeat was a lullaby that could calm you like nothing else. He was making you fall rapidly like no other man from your past could. You buried your head in the sand, taking his words at face value, foolishly believing that he wasn't repeating the exact same thing to everyone else.

You took the sweet nothings he'd whisper to you and make it gospel. Speeding naively down a road that lead to a dead end of disappointment. Week after week, as the show's episodes aired, the illusion you built yourself crumbled. Words you thought he conjured up just for you reduced to the punchline of some sick undercover joke as he turned around and repeated them to the next woman.

Realizing the walls of the house you lived in were made out of porcelain. The stone of his betrayal knocking it to pieces. The curtains peeling back revealing layer after layer, causing your mind to go mad with self doubt, not even sure if you knew this man who you uprooted your life for and handed your dignity and heart over to on a silver platter.

Who was this man who sang those sweet lyrics in my ear while we slow danced like we were straight out of a movie? Who was this man who I followed to the ends of the Earth, made a fool out of myself on live television for? You felt a deep pit in your stomach after every episode.

Not only did you have to contend with the troubling confusion that this man who you thought you loved wasn't who he said he was, you had to deal with the fact that the show's production was now trying to twist your character for the sake of drama.

You noticed that things you said were taken out of context and edited as spicy sound bites, painting you as this drama queen and passive aggressive trouble maker in the house. You sort of became their selected agent of chaos once the other firecrackers eventually got eliminated and needed someone new to fill in the villain's shoes.

You watched the episodes play back with a puzzled look on your face. You knew what you said, you went on the dates, you heard the words that were being spoken, you kissed the man, you gave your body to him, and yet, everything you thought you knew was being challenged before your very eyes. Piecing together two separate versions of him that lived in your head. You thought you were slowly going insane.

When it eventually came down to you and Xina as the final two for Miguel to choose from, Xina was the soft spoken, drop-dead gorgeous, intelligent, cookie-cutter, Christian sweetheart that every man could hope to bring home to meet his mother.

Conchata and Gabe took an immediate liking to her during the meet the parents episode right before the finale. During hometown visits, Xina's parents were an endearing couple who had been married for 30+ years who she had an amazing relationship with. If you had to lose Miguel to any woman, then of course it would have been her.

Meanwhile, you were the framed "bad girl" with tattoos and a cursing habit. You were a little more open about your sexuality, making crass jokes with the other women in the house. You'd definitely burn up if you were to enter a church. At hometowns, your home life was comparatively messier to Xina's with divorced parents and an absent father.

Your mom and siblings met Miguel and loved him immediately, of course. Every week as the show aired and drew closer to the finale, you had to endure seeing endless tweets and memes putting you down. Lots of older women calling you a whore, saying you're trouble and telling Miguel to run for the hills while lifting up Xina at your expense.

Conchata disliked you instantly. She raised an eyebrow at your top that was slightly too low cut, and your thigh tattoo that peeked out a little under your skirt. At least Gabe thought you were cool, but you remember how nervous you were sitting through filming when Conchata was grilling you on the patio outside the luxurious suite she was staying in.

"How do you feel about my son?" She asked, silently giving you a test you were unaware you were taking.

You paused for a moment. "Well... I love your son, ma'am. I can see myself spending the rest of my life with him."

Conchata raised an eyebrow. "But do you even know him? You've only been dating him for a few weeks. I know him better than anyone as his mother, and it seems as though he's made really strong connections with some of the other women."

You tried to shrug off the knot in your tummy her words just left you. "Well...I do, Mrs. O'Hara. He makes me feel special every time I see him. He and I communicate really well and always check in with one another. He has everything I'm looking for in a life partner: strong willed, calm, kind, hard working, intelligent...he makes me happy and I would be honored if he chose me."

Conchata didn't react, just tightened her lips in a straight line and took another sip of wine. "I see...well, I'm glad that you feel that way and you take such an interest in my son. But, do you honestly see him choosing you at the end of all of this?"

You feel your gut clench again at her question, anger, confusion, insecurity rising within you all at once, but you manage to fake a smile and say, "Well, I can see him as my husband, and I want him to choose me. But, it's ultimately his decision alone. All I can do is hope for the best."

Conchata clicks her teeth and gives you a fake smile. "Indeed...that's all you can do, right?" She stands up. "It was lovely chatting with you."

She already turns to leave before you can muster out a weak, "you too..."

🌹🌹🌹

Now, tonight on the live season finale, your head was in your hands, with your ears covered like a small child in your dressing room, trying to drown out the sound of the crowd cheering hysterically as Miguel walked up on stage, shaking hands with Jason and sitting on the couch. You heard another loud, lasting round of applause from the audience as Xina eventually walked out joining him.

You finally felt brave enough to walk back outside and watch the scene from one of the screens backstage, but once you walked up to see it closer you immediately wish you just stayed curled in a ball in your dressing room.

Xina looked so perfect next to Miguel. Her raven hair fell in soft layers just past her shoulders leaning against him with a hand on his thigh and one of his hands tenderly holding onto the side of her hip, nearly resting on her ass. A gorgeous, dainty solitaire diamond on her ring finger on her left hand.

Miguel was looking at her through love-blown pupils as she spoke in her quiet, low, sultry voice, the grin on his face widening even more when her lovely dark eyes came to rest on him between sentences. They were in love. And he was happy. She was happy. There was no denying that now that you forced yourself to see it with your own eyes. Who were you to stand in their way of being together, if they were building a life together they both equally wanted....right?

Even if your heart technically was the collateral damage.

You couldn't pull your gaze away at how perfect they looked. But simultaneously couldn't comprehend how the same man sitting next to her was the one who sang you that song. The same one who took you on a carriage ride in Scotland. The same one who would wink at you after he'd give you a rose at each elimination ceremony. The same one who held you while you began to cry about missing your dad, a shared pain between you two that you could bond over, the same one who spent all night taking his time on you in a dim hotel room in Thailand and told you that you're the one, all for him to suddenly flip overnight and choose her instead.

You felt like you couldn't watch anymore and just walked back into your dressing room, quickly packing your suitcase, wondering if it was too late to cancel your flight tomorrow and just hope there was room on the red eye flight tonight instead. Wishing you could fast forward time to a place where the sound of his name would no longer feel like a million knives cutting into you.

🌹🌹🌹

Some time later, a soft knock comes at your door. Before you can ask who it is, he's already walking in and you feel sick to your stomach, the sounds of his footfalls a not too distant memory that you could still distinguish as his. You try to wipe your eyes, not daring to turn around.

"What is it?" You ask in a flat tone as you resume folding your clothes and squeezing them into your suitcase that threatened to overflow.

Miguel is looking at you with a sorrowful expression. "I need to apologize to you..."

"I don't want to hear it."

"Please..." he begs, walking up to you so you can nearly feel his breath on the back of your neck.

You turn and face him and his lips part a little bit when he sees how much hurt you're in. He goes to cup your face but you swat his hand away and walk to the other side of the room instead.

Miguel clenches his fist and closes his eyes.

"At least tell me you'll be alright..."

"-oh I'll be fine." You say firmly, crossing your arms. "I've lived without you before, and I'll figure out how to do it again."

Miguel looks at you with a sad expression. It hurt him to think you actually wanted a life without him in it, but he couldn't blame you. He got what he wanted. He chose the woman he loved the most, and this was the consequence. But deep down he's too selfish to think about you moving on.

Was it his ego? Was he really prepared to let you go for good? Were his feelings for Xina exaggerated and rather clouded by the whole fairytale notion and weak logic of finding a forever companion on a reality game show?

He couldn't have his cake and eat it too. He knew he had to let you go. He knew you didn't want an apology, you didn't want to hear a sob story or excuses or false hope that you would always have a piece of his heart, even if it was true deep down. He thought carefully for a moment, then he finally said in a soft voice,

"For what it's worth, I really do wish you the best..."

You look at him. And, just for a moment those lingering feelings you tried so hard to bury make themselves known as he's wearing a look on his face you haven't seen since he was still in love with you.

Tears threaten your composure again and you quickly turn around, gazing upwards in hopes of keeping them in. "Don't do that..." you say in a near whisper.

Miguel responds in an equally hushed tone, the tension much more palpable. "Do what....?"

"Look at me that way...." The tears are flowing and you know you need to wrap this up now before you or him say something you'll regret.

"You're looking at me the same way you look at her..."

A lump forms in Miguel's throat because he realizes he really does still love you. But he loves Xina too. He made a choice and a commitment to her and it was time to see it through. But that didn't make this farewell any easier. He whispers your name again and you shake your head.

"I'm fine. I'll be fine. I promise." You give him a weak smile as the tears blur your vision. He takes a step towards you but you shake your head quickly, shifting past him to grab your suitcase.

He closes his eyes in defeat and tenses his jaw, a tear escaping the corner of his eye.

You hobble past him with your heavy suitcase, struggling to carry it in your heels. You prop open the door and look back at him one more time and he looks at you, giving you a weak smile. You nod, and your anger subsides for just a moment. "I meant what I said...you know...before..."

Miguel's chest rises and falls. You don't have to elaborate for him to understand. He still remembers the hidden way you two used to communicate, even if this may be the last time he ever does.

"Thank you..." he says gently, meaning it.

You swiftly turn your head, pulling up the handle on your luggage and gather your dress in your free hand as the door softly clicks behind you. You make sure you're out of earshot before you break down crying again.

As your flight coasts gently through the midnight sky, you lean against your window as though it was Miguel, or at least the version of him that lived in your memory. You close your eyes this time, the distant glow of the moon outside lulling you and beckoning you to a place where your thoughts can't torment you at last, succumbing to a well-deserved rest.

Miguel stands in his hotel room, gazing at the cityscape outline in the distance, the same moon standing watch in the obsidian skies above. Xina gently calls for him and he turns around and gives her a tired smile as he crawls in bed next to her and holds her close. He shuts off the beside lamp. His mind quickly shakes off the memory of the color of your eyes before he drifts asleep.

🌹🌹🌹

#miguel o'hara #miguel atsv #miguel ohara #miguel x reader #miguel o'hara x reader #spotify #across the spiderverse #atsv miguel #miguel o'hara smut #miguel ohara angst #miguel ohara smut #miguel o'hara imagine #miguel ohara imagine #miguel o hara x y/n #miguel o'hara x fem!reader #miguel ohara x fem!reader #miguel o'hara angst

638 notes · View notes

cocklessboy · 1 year

Text

I see a lot of people saying that gender-affirming health care like top surgery for trans people like myself should be freely available (which is correct), but one of the reasons they often give is that top surgery is very safe and has a very low rate of complications compared to other surgeries. And I often see transphobes clutching their pearls over the few people who do have complications. What about them?! What if you're one of the unlucky ones?! Should we really let those transes risk it??!!!

Setting aside the fact that no one raises such concerns over other types of surgery, I'd like to use myself as an example for anyone who needs one.

In May of 2022 I had top surgery (double mastectomy). The surgery was done by a gynecological surgeon, not a plastic surgeon, because that way my insurance would cover it.

The surgeon did his job and removed the breast tissue, but he did not make it look pretty. I have dog-ears at both ends of both scars (extra bits of skin that hang off in a very unappealing fashion), my chest still looks unnaturally flat with no muscle or fat despite a lot of working out, and one of the stitches didn't heal properly and was left as an open wound through "secondary healing" for several months before it finally healed over into a very large scab (and eventually a very large scar). My nipples are uneven and irregular and look... well, just awful, really. Due to bad genetic luck, I wound up with keloid scars which, instead of getting smaller and lighter over time, have instead expanded, becoming thicker and darker. Worst of all, I now have chronic nerve pain in my chest. My GP thinks the surgeon must have hit a nerve during the procedure, and now I have random sharp pains all over my chest even now, nearly ten months later. The pain might improve with time, or it might not.

I basically had almost every possible complication one can have from this surgery short of infection or death. Some of the aesthetics might be fixable with more surgery (though plastic surgery will be expensive). Some are probably permanent. I might never feel comfortable taking my shirt off in public again. I might have to tattoo over the scars.

And pay attention to this next bit, because it's the most important part of this whole post: I do not regret the surgery. Even with all the complications and the ugly state of my chest and the pain. If someone said they could push a button and make it so that the surgery never happened and I'd have a perfect, unmarred chest with C-cup breasts again, I would tell them to take their button and fuck right off. Because even with basically the worst of all possible outcomes, that surgery was the best thing that ever happened to me.

I don't feel good about taking my shirt off in front of people now. I do think my chest is ugly. But it's a male chest now. When I put on a t-shirt, it rests flat against my chest. No one will ever mistake me for a woman again. I'll never have to wear a bra or binder ever again.

The dysphoria I felt from having breasts was so severe that a hideously scarred chest and chronic pain are vastly preferable. The euphoria I feel when I look in the mirror with a shirt on is something I never knew I was capable of feeling.

And it's my fucking body, and it's up to me what I do with it. If I wanted to tattoo myself from head to toe, or file my teeth into fangs, or have a doctor break my legs and surgically implant extensions to make me taller, that's my right because it's my body. The fact that all those things are regarded as basically acceptable (if a little weird), but I had to have a dehumanizing interview with an old cis psychiatrist who hates trans people and wants us all sterilized just to get a piece of paper giving me permission to have my tits removed, is fucking absurd.

Top surgery (of any kind) is generally very safe, and complications are rare. But even with the worst outcome, a trans person will basically never regret it.

And frankly, if a cis woman wants her tits cut off, or a cis man wants a pair of boobs to play with on his own chest, more power to them because literally who gives a fuck what people do to their own bodies? I saw a dude on TV when I was a kid who'd tattooed his whole body to look like a cat, filed his teeth into fangs, and had loads of plastic surgery to surgically implant whiskers and make his face look more feline. It was weird! But literally no one said that should be banned because he might regret it. It's his body to do whatever weird shit he wants with.

The next time someone clutches their pearls and kicks and screams about how you can't let someone permanently alter their body in a way they might regret, feel free to point to me and my complete and utter lack of regret.

(Or have a little fun with it, go hard in the other direction, and say you absolutely agree, which is why we should ban ALL non-emergency surgeries until the patient has been FULLY evaluated by three psychiatrists - along with tattoos and piercings. Oh, and ballet lessons for anyone under the age of 25, since ballet changes the structure of a child's body FOREVER.)

#transgender #transmasc #trans man #lgbtqia+#queer #top surgery #gender dysphoria

3K notes · View notes

pia-nor481 · 3 months

Text

Daniel Ricciardo NSFW alphabet

A-Aftercare (what they're like after sex?)

He very much likes looking after her, so imagine long showers/ baths. He is certified skincareologist-he has watched her do the routines so many times that he's a professional now. Plus he loves to rub moisturisers all over her body. He loves physical contact so don't expect to be left alone.

B-Body part (what is their favourite part of theirs and their partner?)

I think he really likes his abs, it's just nice to look at. (The fact he doesn't like his side profile is criminal)

He LOVES his partners hips, perfect to grab. I believe he likes to hold her hips when dancing, or railing her.

C-Cum (anything to do with cum)

I don't think he Cums a lot, volume wise. But he just loves to cum. I believe he has a preference of cumming inside, however he's happy with where ever she wants it.

D-Dirty secret (just a dirty secret of theirs)

I think he’d really want to fuck in slightly public places, a pool is the best example. Just something about it is so appealing.

E- Experience (how experienced are they)

VERY. He's obviously very attractive and so has had many girls. He's learned all of the possible techniques and doesn't need guidance. He loves to try our new methods and can read her like a book.

F- Favourite position

Cowgirl- I don't know what you expected from me. He loves any position where she's riding him. Or maybe where she's up against a wall. He also definitely likes car sex (have you seen the interview?)

G- Goofy (how serious are they in the moment)

75% serious. He likes to really focus on the sex but other times he just can't help but he his funny self.

H- Hair (how well groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes)

The hair is exactly the same. I will say though he strikes me as someone who's completely clean shaven, but waits quite a while to shave again. It's not a matter of forgetting or laziness, but actually convince. He doesn't have to trim it as often this way. He does have a tummy trail which I think is cute- even though no one asked.

I- Intimacy (how are they during the moment? Romantic? Pleasure driven?)

Very romantic, he likes to be sweet and loving. Daniel definitely likes to hold hands. But I can also see him just repeating "fuck" as he's pounding her when she's pushed up against some wall, and he's just so desperate for pleasure that's all he can think about.

J- Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Self care king. He actually really likes to masturbate, whether that he by himself or with her watching. He does really enjoy his hand.

K- Kinks (one or more of their kinks)

BDSM- not in a super SM way. He likes restraints and blindfolds, but not necessarily pain. A little is fun, just enough that it doesn’t cause an issue for the following day

Wax- he likes to drip hot wax down her body during the off season. This definitely started with one of those lotion candles and then with some other low temperature melting candles.

Edging- Daniel loves hearing her beg to cum, bucking her hips towards him just for that release. But he doesn’t like to give it to her straight away.

L- Location (their favourite place)

Anywhere in the house-the kitchen is great for bending her over, or eating her out while she's sat on the counter. The living room is perfect for soft/cuddley sofa sex, or when she wants to ride him, but he must have his hands on her.

The car- anytime Daniel gets a new car he makes a point of driving her somewhere, whether it's just the longest route possible or to go to a secluded location. He likes the option of her riding him in the front, or fucking her in the back. Also, road head!!

M- Motivation (what gets them going?)

He loves a sexy phone call, or a really long voice note of her pleasuring herself. He's not fond of sexting but, phone sex is one of his favourites. So just hearing her saying things like "I'm so wet just thinking about what you're going to do to me tomorrow." He just can't resist.

The dancing has made a come back, even if it's very innocent, he'll find a way.

He's a man and so will like visual things, so anytime you're showing him an outfit, or he sees lingerie.

N- No (what turns them off)

Anything typically considered "gross" like piss and such. This might just be me protecting my hate, you do you though.

I also don't think he wasn't to be a cuck. Or a bottom tbh

O- Oral (preference on giving or receiving. Skill)

This man loves blow jobs so much it's unreal. I could spend hours talking about this. He enjoys most techniques, when his tip is up against the roof of her mouth, or pushing against her cheek, or when is dick is down her throat. He loves it all!!! He does also really love giving, I think this is something he's grown more into liking. He might need a little convincing for her to ride his face but once he starts he doesn't want to stop. Pussy DRUNK.

P- Pace (Are they fast or slow? Rough or sensual?)

He loves to be sensual, his love language is physical touch so you should know he's taking his time to really feel absolutely everything. That doesn't mean he doesn't enjoy hardcore. He likes rough and hard, he likes to be fast, when he wants to prove a point ;)

Q- Quickie (their opinions on them? How often?)

He is very neutral. It happens every now and then, he does enjoy them, but would definitely prefer lots of foreplay and teasing, no matter how much he likes to cum.

R- Risk (will they experiment? Do they take risks?)

I don't know if this is an Australian thing, but these lot seem to be up for pretty much everything. So I think he's more than happy to try anything that isn't a hard no. So he definitely takes risks.

S- Stamina (how many rounds do they go for?)

I don't think that many rounds (as much as I love him, he is 34) but that doesn't stop him. Probably 2/3

T-Toys (do they own any? Do they use them? On a partner or themself?)

I think there is one of every kind. But only one toy gets used at a time. You can have cuffs or a vibrator, not both. He doesn't really use them on himself, unless he's

U-Unfair (how much do they tease?)

He absolutely loves it. He’ll be torturing her clit for ages, then just pull away to kiss around her cunt, or onto her thighs. In my mind he always runs his hands over her body in a featherlight teasing manner.

V-Volume (how loud are they? What sounds do they make?)

He groans very loud, and it’s always super throaty. I think he gets out of breath very quickly where he really likes to talk through out. It’s another way of his teasing.

W-Wild card (a random headcanon)

I think he actually quite liked period sex. Idk why, not to bring up the Australian thing again, but I genuinely believe he’d really like it. Just the intimacy and providing relief ig.

X-X-ray (how big are they?)

Definitely quite long, but not that thick. I think either bends very lightly left, or up.

Y- Yearning (how high is their sex drive)

Not that high, however if she wanted to fuck, he’s never going to say no. I think now that he’s doing a lot more, he’s a lot busier :(

Z-Zzz (how quick do they fall asleep afterwards?)

I like to think that he stays up quite late. Daniel likes to fall asleep to noise (cannon) so he’d like conversations or just generally listening to her talk. Or maybe he’d put some soft music on.

Pinterest wasn’t giving what I needed today. I was looking for such a specific image but it wasn’t providing.

#f1 x reader #f1 x reader smut #f1 smut #f1 fanfic #f1 imagine #f1 fic #daniel ricciardo smut #daniel ricciardo x female reader #daniel ricciardo x reader smut #daniel ricciardo x you #daniel riccardo x reader #daniel riccardo imagine #daniel ricciardo x reader #danny ric #daniel riccardo smut #daniel ricciardo #DR:3

542 notes · View notes

taffywabbit · 11 months

Text

idk if i'm way off the mark on this, but the way some people are responding to that Guillermo del Toro interview about the decline of studio animation is a bit frustrating to me. specifically the bit where he talks about "emoji animation" and how everything is over-animated and pushed too far and things are rarely allowed to not be ultra-cartoony (y'know, because animation always needs to be marketable to children who are never trusted to have attention spans, right?). like, i think he's generally correct about it! but some folks are taking the wrong message away from that.

i've seen people going off about how "soulless" and "corporate" various recent examples are, and talking about these pieces of media as though they're the result of some kind of personal failing or lack of skill/range on the part of the animators, and it's just like. do people realize that's the only animation you're usually allowed to DO in the industry, unless you get incredibly lucky and land yourself on a project/studio that's unusually cool?

when i was in college for animation it was literally drilled into us nonstop that everything had to be pushed more, that exaggeration was not a guideline or a sometimes-treat but a hard rule that always had to be applied regardless of what was going on, because the viewer couldn't be trusted to pick up on subtlety and we sure as hell couldn't be trusted to convey it. you ever wonder why there's such a specific vibe to a lot of self-directed student films, particularly ones that are focused on character acting/interaction or deep emotions and introspection (especially when there's minimal/no dialogue)? it's because for a lot of young animators, they haven't had the freedom to experiment with realism and subtlety up to that point and they're likely not going to have it again for a while (or at all, unless their career path leads to higher positions where they might have more creative direction over the things they work on. which also becomes a lot less likely if they're anything other than a cishet white dude, for what it's worth).

i would LOVE to see more nuanced, realistic, understated motion and acting in animation. i WANT more characters to be able to express what they're feeling through natural body language and facial cues and for scenes to allow me to breathe instead of spelling everything out in giant bold flashing text all the time. what del Toro wants to see changed in the animation industry sounds great, and i hope others join him in seeking to revamp what modern animation is allowed to be.

but as things currently stand, and as they've stood for a long while now, most artists doing the grunt work on the shows and movies you see are completely at the mercy of corporations and networks who have a vested interest in producing a very specific kind of marketable and cost-efficient media all the time. (and by extension that style is ALSO what's taught in most animation schools, because their job more than anything is to grind you down into a perfect little sweatshop worker who will bend over backwards to meet quotas and get your work approved and not question the higher-ups, even if you have little to no personal investment in the projects you're working on, so that the studios who employ you can maintain their good reputations or whatever)

anyways idk what my point was here, this really just sorta became a rant and my views have undoubtedly been coloured by my own personal experiences (this kinda shit is largely why i dropped out before my last year of animation school, for the record).

i guess just be kind to folks in the animation industry? they've had it fucking rough nonstop for well over a century (the majority of them are still not unionized and there's HUGE pushback against doing so in many places). i assure you they are doing their best to infuse the latest uninspired illumination flick or weird spinoff kids' show with literally any amount of soul they can. you don't have to like the stuff that gets produced by any means! be a hater! i'm certainly not gonna stop you. just remember where these creative decisions come from and why these conditions exist, and consider that when YOU watched something and thought "hmm that could've been done better", you can bet your ass someone actually working on it probably thought the same thing but couldn't do anything about it. these things WILL change as the industry itself improves, but in the meantime folks have to pay their rent, and that usually means doing what they're told and working in a way that will minimize revisions and meet quotas so they can keep their jobs. it sucks, but it is what it is.

#buny text #long post #animation #i don't have a rant tag because i don't necessarily want to encourage myself to make posts like this frequently #but this is obviously a touchy subject that's close to home for me and it felt important to get it out #i realize i am on the Getting Super Mad At People Who Make Popular Media website so hopefully this does not bite me in the ass

1K notes · View notes

theatrum-tenebrarum · 2 years

Text

Misunderstanding Lucifer from the Sandman series and why Gwendoline Christie is the right choice (an art historian and occultist's opinion)

I am writing this post as I'm absolutely baffled by the issues people seem to have with the portrayal of the character of Lucifer in the Sandman series. For some reason people find it problematic that the fallen angel is played by Gwendoline Christie, a powerful and androgynous-looking woman, but there is seemingly no problem with Lucifer being played by a black-haired man in the nightclub business (Tom Ellis in the Netflix series 'Lucifer'). Don't get me wrong, Tom Ellis is entertaining and wonderful to watch, but that particular version of Lucifer is neither canon when it comes to the comics nor does it have anything to do with the actual angel Lucifer.

Angels are genderless beings and they have always been portrayed as androgynous in the history of art. Multiple literary sources, including grimoires (books with supposed instructions on how to summon these beings and many others), state that angelic beings as well as demons are able to change their appearance. Many of those forms they might take aren't even humanoid and they can choose not to show any physical form at all. They aren't corporeal beings, the fact that they do take on any resemblance of a physical form is just so humans can understand them better. That's why we've been painting them as human-like ever since the early times of human civilization. What we make to be similar to us is what makes it comprehensible. Portraying beings from other dimensions/realms as human-like but with androgynous features is a way to show they don't belong in the physical dimension, as gender is likely a non-existent concept in other realms of existence. Androgyny of mythical beings, therefore, emphasizes the fact they are different than physical beings such as humans.

Therefore, when portraying an angelic being in art, or in any type of media, making them androgynous is making way for their essence to come through. In a way, the same applies to the way elves are portrayed as ethereal and androgynous since they don't have to be corporeal beings at all, at least when it comes to folklore. I know this opinion might not be understandable to others or it might sound controversial, but I believe that not portraying an angelic being as androgynous and not showing any signs of their divine origin (these include mannerisms that emphasize their etheriality for example, a cadence in their voice that is different etc.) is a huge missed opportunity that might rob these interesting mythical beings of what they are. Not making angels feel like angels beats the point of having an angel character (in a movie, series or video game for example) in the first place.

This is why Gwendoline Christie is the right choice. At a height of 6′ 3″ (1.91 m), captivatingly pale. androgynous with a powerful specific sort of grace and presence - a perfect 'vessel' for the Morning Star. What's more, she understands the importance, complexity, grandeur and the mythical dimension of the figure of Lucifer, as well as the whole 'spirituality' of the Sandman universe which is rather evident from her approach to this role and the interviews she has given so far. I might go so far to say that, even though the Sandman series isn't even out yet (though there is some footage available already), the casting of Gwendoline as Lucifer feels right just as the casting of Lee Pace as Thranduil in the Hobbit felt right and I consider the character of Thranduil to be the best portrayal of a humanoid mythical being on TV. Lee felt like an elven king, moved like an elven king, spoke like an elven king and radiated an energy of the dimension the elven king might have come from (I'm talking about the folkloric 'Otherworld' where elves supposedly live). I feel the same might apply to Gwendoline and Lucifer.

As an occultist, art historian, anthropologist and someone who is rather fond of the figure of Lucifer, I am looking forward to seeing how Gwendoline interprets him. Finally, we might get something completely different from a frequently portrayed 'demonic' side/version of this important mythical character. We might just see the Light Bringer who has not forgotten his divine origin.

- Heidi (@theatrum-tenebrarum)

Gwendoline Christie as Lucifer (The Sandman series on Netflix, out 5th August 2022)

6K notes · View notes

rogues-the-fanzine · 3 months

Text

Transcript

Catie: Do you think the henchmen need to unionize?

Cato: actually….if they HAVE to, but, I don’t think they-

Ed barges into the door with a BAM and angry footsteps

Edward: YOU TWO HAVE DONE IT THIS TIME!!

Catie and Cato: wait what?-

Edward: you’re going to explain to me why you’ve been in the Rogues! The Podcast fandom for HOW LONG and yet you NEVER talk about me even though I’m the main character!

Catie: have you like actually seen my content? I talk about you like exclusively

Edward: (sticks his hand up to silence Catie) Oh we all know what happened to your “content” while you were in England.

Edward: AND YOU…you’re a TRAITOR! You wear that symbol and color with SHAME!

Cato: Pink and Green are complementary colors, I have a brand to keep up with.

Edward: That is NOT an excuse. The idea that you are that good at drawing Jonathan Crane is vile. And now…you’re going to make it up to me.

Cato and Catie: Wait what? (Huh?)

Edward: You are going to tell ME about the spectacular, well thought out plan YOU have CREATED. To apologize to ME for your atrocious lack of Riddler themed content

Edward: So what is it?? What’s that great master plan of yours? I’m listening and awaiting an answer.

Cato and Catie fumble a bit as they try to speak on their behalf. This could be improvised between Catie and Cato while recording.

Catie snaps her fingers at a probable solution.

Catie: The Zine!!! We have a zine.

Cato: You are the main character in our upcoming Zine.

Catie: a big art collaboration featuring 36 fantastic artists, all drawing YOUR likeness.

Cato: including an exclusive interview with-

Edward: wow! Don’t care, tell me the parts about ME.

Cato: well… It features many illustrations, writings, and Comics from various moments from the hit ‘ROGUES! The Podcast’

Catie: it features mainly you, and plenty of background characters such as Jonathan Crane, Oswald Cobblepot, Laura Cameron, Query and Echo, and more! But it’s all just for highlighting your existence and greatness as The Riddler.

Edward: …. You’re just kissing my ass aren't you. This zine isn’t just about me! You’re lying!

Catie: Actually statistically you’re featured in 25 pieces while Jonathan Crane for example is only in ____ pieces which is like a ___ difference.

Edward: Do I look like someone who doesn’t know basic arithmetic?

There are some strong knocks on the door

Cato: I’ll get it.

Cato opens the door revealing Jonathan Crane

Jon: Well well well I knew I heard a narcissist and my favorite overreacter! Have any drawings of me yet? You know people go crazy when you draw me (Jon chuckle)

Cato: (forced laughter) HAHAHAHA! I'm gonna go to the other room now.

Catie: (forced laughter) HAHHAHAHAHA. You’re gonna sit down. HAHAHAHAHA

Cato: (forced laughter turns to defeat) OK OK.

Edward: No no! They’re not drawing you! They have a lot of drawings of ME to catch up on since this little Zine project isn’t even centered around me!

Jon: Of course it’s not all about you Ed. It’s Rogues! The fanzine not Riddler! The fanzine

Catie and Cato: that's right!

Catie: it features almost everyone that appears in Rogues! the podcast!

Cato: including iconic scenes from all the seasons and special events like Lockup’s Lockdown and murder in the house of mystery

Captain Boomerang for some reason: am I in it?

Catie and Cato: NO

Edward: You know. This could be a good thing. More people would see how much better I am.

Jon: You are insufferable, you know that right?

Edward: And I’m in more zine pieces than you. That means some people find me charming.

Jon: you two. When is this zine thing out?

Catie: January 31st!

Cato: and it’s free so you don’t have to pay to see it

Edward: Ah, perfect. People don’t even have to pay to see Jon’s ugly mug

Jon: Oh you're funny. That was funny.

Cato: you know what would be funny? If you guys left right now.

Catie: yeah you interrupted Cato’s vampire Jon drawing time

Jon: Vampire Jon?

Edward: And that is our cue to leave! You two need to feature me more!

Catie/Cato: yes sir will do!

Jon and Edward leave

Cato: I’m killing you

Catie: WHAT DID I DO!?

#rogues! the fanzine #cv!edwardnygma #cv!jonathancrane

275 notes · View notes

zuhaism · 1 year

Text

⊹ ｡˚ 𓂃 ♡ MMTG ?! ┊ lesserafim ⁺

[ navigation | corso ]

you and the members were in hybe’s lobby. you were sitting between chaewon and jaejae for the interview. many laughs were exchanged here and there as jaejae interviewed each members.

“when do you use it?” asked jae jae when the topic came to slangs. “for example ‘what are we going to eat for dinner?’ IDC. with a shoulder tilt” everyone did it together. then yunjin spoke up. “y/n is the only one who never uses slangs.”

“why why why” jae jae was bewildered. “arent you american too?” she had a shocked look on her face. “what ! no i am!” you paused because you were laughing too hard “it’s just that my mom said i shouldn’t talk like that. she says it sounds rude.” you answered with a sheepish smile.

the members nodded in agreement. “y/n’s actually very polite and has great manners, she just doesn’t talk.“ chaewon intervened and gave a thumbs up to the camera. jaejae continued interviewing yunjin.

“y/n! the other american. an all star basketball player! our nations little math nerd” and it showed a picture of 16 year old you about to do a three pointer and you after winning the mathematical olympiad. the interview finally got to you. you closed your eyes in embarrassment. everyone laughed in unison. “wah our y/n looks so cute.” eunchae spoke up.

“i heard you got recruited when you were playing basketball?” jaejae looked at you for confirmation. you chuckled before answering. “yeah actually i got scouted when i was on a school trip…” everyone was silent expecting you to continue but instead you stopped there. “ah” jaejae spoke amongst the silence “ah i guess thats all okay! its alright if you dont want to continue!” everyone bursts out laughing “no no no i can explain! sorry, sorry i thought you wanted to add something.” you tried explaining yourself. after the laughter died down and them teasing you, you started talking again.

you went all the way back to when you were 17. you and your other matheletes teammates won first place in a competition and got to go to Seoul as the winning prize. one night during the trip u got bored and sneaked out the hotel to a basketball court you saw nearby.

while you were shooting three pointers by yourself you noticed someone from the corner of your eye watching you. you got scared and ignored it hoping it wasn’t an entity from another dimension. the person stayed there for far too long and you started getting creeped out even though you were a whole feet taller than them.

you started packing your things up. putting everything in faster when you heard footsteps close behind. you were ready to book it when someone tapped your shoulder. you turned around and was met with a card in your face. the person said nothing as you took it and walked away.

it was a business card. as you examined it you noticed ‘you’re perfect for us. please come and audition tomorrow’

“and then i had a free day the next day so i went.” you ended your story with a small smile as everyone stared at you in awe. “you rapped to corso by tyler the creator am i right.” jaejae spoke up. you looked at her in shock “how’d you know.” she looked to the camera with a smug face and shrugged.

“y/n ! you once went live and answered all the fans math questions.” jaejae suddenly changed the subject as you sat up straighter. the members burst out laughing while you turned red from embarrassment. “wah y/n you’re really good at math aren’t you!” jaejae praised you.

“what. no no” you declined. “no! you’re really good. you just lack confidence.” jaejae ended her sentence and signalled for you all to look at the screen. it was showing a clip of one of your lives where you answered fearnot’s math questions.

“i think the x is 4 but i dont know” you said with your eyebrows furrowed moving closer to the camera to read the comments. “i dont know guys dont listen to me i might be wrong.” you said looking back at your paper, checking your answer again while scratching your head.

“you’re really cute.” said jaejae.

“stop flattering me”

the topic moved on to you being heartless but caring. you never knew you had this title. you never even knew you were caring you just did what you felt right. now that the topic changed everyone was giving examples on how you speak louder through your actions rather than words.

“one time, after coming home from a schedule. i went to my room and slept in the mess i made in the morning because i was too exhausted. the next morning i woke up to a clean room.” sakura started she said after that, she asked who cleaned her room and y/n only shrugged while zuha confirmed it wasn’t her. “it really warmed my heart because we had the same schedule.” sakura ended.

“no unnie it’s because you’re getting older.” eunchae teased the oldest. sakura gave eunchae the stink eye.

“oh! when we arrived at japan it was pouring and y/n unnie was beside me. she took off her jacket and wrapped me in it, holding an umbrella and then we walked together to the car.” eunchae expressed. “and in the car i noticed her shirt was half wet and i was like ‘so this is love’” eunchae announced softly with a dreamy look on her face as she looked at your red face.

“wow y/n you seem like you’d be a good boyfriend” said jaejae while you protested. “you’re right. you’re right sometimes even i want to date her.” chaewon voiced. chaewon started telling about the time after a schedule, when she got out the car her feet was hurting so bad. she was at the back struggling to walk through the pain. she saw you stopping and waiting for her at the parking lot entrance.

when you noticed she was hurting you immediately crouched infront of her. “what?” chaewon asked. you signalled her to piggyback you. “i am not doing that. we’re wearing the same shoes! you’re going to-“ she got cut off when you moved back and carried her anyways. she held onto you tight when you lifted her and she stayed that way until you guys went up to the dorm.

“wah y/n noticing the small things. we need more people like that.” jaejae added. yunjin and kazuha started talking about their loving experiences with you. yunjin stated that she’d only watch a horror movie only if you’re there. yunjin said when you’re with her, she feels safe. probably because whenever there’s a gory scene you’d mutter ‘that’s so fake’ under your breathe. but that’s besides the point. you’d rub circles on her hand and make her feel reassured.

for kazuha, you’re her debate mate. you talk the most when you’re with her. you don’t know how her mind works but you sure know how to handle it. like the other day, she asked which is the strongest : rock, paper, or scissors. you had to explain to her how its neither and rock, paper scissors is just a game of luck.

she also mentioned how you’re always helping her in korean and you’d go for convenience store runs whenever she gets a question right. you treat her so well.

“in conclusion! y/n is a great person to date.” jaejae ended

“not the dating part” chaewon muttered.

742 notes · View notes