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medschoolash · 2 years

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My two cents on Daemon and Rhaenyra's Sexual encounter

I'm nobody but I have a lot of thoughts about what went down between daemon and rhaenyra and the motives on Daemon's end so I'm just gonna put it all down here because why not.

So I've come to the conclusion that Daemon's actions are not abusive (contrary to what the creators said), not about a quest for the throne, and not completely without malicious intent.

I think to truly understand it all and how it fits into the story you have to understand a few key things:

Daemon has psychogenic erectile dysfunction ( more on that later)

Daemon has an unending desire to upset Viscerys but he actually does love him

Daemon cares about Rhaenyra deeply and always has

Daemon is sexually attracted to Rhaenyra

Daemon is impulsive and manipulative but he's not a complete idiot

When you combine all of those character points for Daemon his behavior this episode makes a lot more sense to me.

(if you know me from other fandoms you know I'm long winded so proceed at your own discretion lol )

Let's go back to the very beginning of the episode. Daemon returns from the stepstones. He's now a war hero. He's known as the dragon that conquered the narrow sea and saved the realm a headache. This is the most praise and adoration he's gotten in a long time. He makes a show of giving up his crown to Viscerys and pledging fealty to him once again and he smugly looks at otto when he's embraced by his brother again.

To me this is important because I believe Daemon's actions here are genuine at that moment. The creators said in this scene Daemon seems like a changed man to the audience which I can see on casual viewing BUT is he truly a changed man? The narrative proved that to be a huge no and really that was the only conclusion when none of his actual gripes with Viscerys have been resolved. Plus what's so different about Daemon now? When has Daemon ever not supported Viscerys's claim as king? When has he ever publically done anything but swear loyalty to his brother since he was crowned (no comment on dead baby aegon, he got no love from daemon lol). Nothing about it truly screams Daemon is changed so why does he do it? My opinion is that it shows he didn't actually go there to be duplicitous. He didn't return pretending to be someone he's not to deceive everybody. That's important in the bigger picture.

So Daemon hasn't changed BUT something has in fact changed in King's Landing. Rhaenyra.

Rhaenyra is happy he's back. She actually follows him in the throne room. She wants to see him. In the garden, she approaches him first with the giddy but tries to play it cool presence of someone with a huge crush. She is starry-eyed in his presence and is eager to engage with him. Daemon looks at her walk away in the garden. His eyes are on her in part because he's curious (he noticed her stiff interactions with her father) and because it's the first time he's seen her in years and she's a woman now but he doesn't follow her. I think they deliberately showed us that in most ways that matter before the sexual encounter Rhaenyra is the chaser, not Daemon. That matters. Later Rhaenyra finds him again and he's soaking in the air in KL, another indicator that Daemon is possibly relieved to be home and is not here to cause chaos. Rhaenyra even straight up asks him why he's there because she knows him, she knows he likes to play games with her father so there has to be an agenda but is there? He says the comfort of home. I personally don't think there is one on his mind at that moment. The key part is he acknowledges her maturation for the first time and he discusses it in the context of physical appeal. She's blossomed into a beautiful young woman entering the stage of courtship. He notices. She realizes he notices.

They've always had a bond. She's always had a special hold over him and she's always looked at him like he hangs the moon but it was never something with any real clarity for Rhaenyra and never something that Daemon would ever acknowledge or act on but that's changed it has been 4 years. She's at least 18 now. She's at the stage of life where romance and sexual curiosity makes a bit more sense now even if she's still unsure about how to navigate that as a woman in westeros. So yeah It's different between them. Rhaenyra has changed and most of all they are both curious about what this tension is between them and how far it can go.

Before I move on to my next point I want to make sure I'm not misinterpreted here. I'm not saying Daemon has been creeping on her this whole time just counting the days until she's of age. I don't think he's ever said to himself "when she's 18 I'm totally gonna have sex with her". I don't think he has the thought to go there sexually with her until the moment he actually sees her again after she's matured.

That brings me to their one-on-one in the garden. This is an important part because I feel like Daemon's intentions after this conversation can make his actions somewhat within reason or absolutely horrible. Rhaenyra is very candid with him about her frustrations with having to marry. She feels like a broodmare with no sexual autonomy at all, just a pawn to be sold to the highest bidder for the use of her womb and her title. She feels like no one cares about what she wants, what she wants to do with her body. She's so averse to the idea that would prefer to live a life completely alone over having to marry and have all of her stripped away for duty. Daemon tries to assure her that all is not lost for her. Yes, it's a political contract but he basically tells her she does have power and autonomy within the confines of a marriage. She can do whatever she wants. She can control what does and doesn't happens to her. Having this power is clearly important to her. He also genuinely tries to alleviate her fears about having the same fate as her mother. He was there, he knows her grief and pain. She wants to take that trauma and become a recluse. He doesn't want her to fear a fate she can not truly control because it prevents her from ever experiencing the better parts of life. Solitude is lonely. He himself is married and he's still lonely. He doesn't want that for her. We can say it's familial affection or something even more but the key is I do not think that any part of this conversation, especially the last part, is a manipulative game to him. He's comforting her and trying to guide her in the right direction for her own good just as he's done several times before.

So this is the entire lead-up to their night out and sexual encounter. What part of this feels well planned? what part of this feels like a scheme or anything but a simmering curiosity and moment of honesty between two people who up to this point have only had a familial connection? The answer is none of it feels like a well-planned manipulation, not even in retrospect and it doesn't feel that way because in my opinion, it wasn't.

The first moment you can make a real argument that Daemon has done some plotting is when she arrives in her room and finds the clothing and the note. But even then the question becomes what exactly did he plan and why did he plan it? The more cynical perspectives floating around suggest that everything was daemon manipulating Rhaenyra to open her up to the night on the town, then he planted the clothes and the note to lure her away with the full intention of ruining her reputation for his own ploy for power. To me, this falls apart very quickly as an explanation despite what the creators implied (I'll get to that in a second).

As mentioned above hours ago they had a conversation where Daemon tries to tell Rhaenyra there is a lot more to the world she can enjoy versus resigning herself to solitude and misery. The truth of the matter is Rhaenyra is very green. She has been sheltered in the red keep her whole life. Her mother died at a crucial age. She has had no one to guide her through the confusing developmental aspects of adolescence. Daemon sees his role as a guide to help her reach a new level of understanding of the many forms of sexual expression and freedom that will ultimately liberate her from the confines of her gender and her station that she's been desperately fighting against this whole time. But why does he want to do this? Does he want to do it because her sexual awakening can be used as a tool to rise to power or does he do it because he actually cares about her and want her to actually feel empowered in this important way and he can conveniently also explore his sexual desire for her as well?

This is the most important question to ask in this entire analysis but this is also where the waters truly get murky making it difficult to answer the question. To me the most obvious answer is the latter but this is seemingly contradicted by the creators and by Daemon himself. I would like to argue that it actually wasn't.

Up until the point, he enters the brothel with her Daemon has been a comforting source of familiarity to Rhaenyra. He has shared vulnerable conversations with her. He tenderly held her hand at every moment and took her through the city watching her in amazement as she saw things she's never seen before. He has allowed all of this to go on while maintaining anonymity, which is crucial because it gives her freedom she otherwise would not have had. At no point did he ever come off as if he wanted to coerce her into something, he or was guiding her in a certain direction for a plan. It all seemed spontaneous and about exploration and most importantly they did as much as she wanted them to do. He is fascinated by her curiosity. He is enamored with her enthusiasm. Why behave like this if this was all a power play? if it was because he really really wanted to manipulate her then why would he stoop so low to hurt someone he clearly cares about for a throne he has never actually said he wants?

I've seen several takes that try to connect him taking her disguise off when his plan to expose her but even that falls apart quickly. He doesn't do it until they are deep into the brothel where they are less likely to be discovered. He also takes his own disguise off exposing himself. If he wanted to ruin her reputation all he needed to ensure was that she was seen in a brothel with someone. Making that someone actually him actually works against him in a long game. Even Viscerys points this out later with alicent. There was a small chance that daemon would be able to say "whoops I slept with her she's ruined not I have to be heir" or "whoops I slept with her and she's ruined not we have to marry" but remember my bullet points?Daemon is impulsive and manipulative but he's not a complete idiot. The much more likely outcome was enraging Viscerys who he has only been on solid footing with viscerys for a few hours, not even a whole day. Enraging viscerys would get him absolutely nothing. The only thing he gains is hurting Rhaenyra and Daemon cares deeply for Rhaenyra so it wouldn't be in character. Like I said even Viscerys acknowledges this and he's not the sharpest tool in the shed.

So if he gains nothing why is he doing this? How is this a power play for him and a power play he would be willing to engage in at the great expense of the only person he seems to actually care about? Maybe he just doesn't actually care about her that way. Maybe his care is not outweighed by his lack of morals and boundaries or maybe it's none of the above. Maybe there is a much simpler explanation for this entire ordeal.

I believe Daemon fully intended to push her sexual boundaries once they were in the brothel but I do not think his desire was to see her exposed while in that brothel to ruin her. I think he was just caught up in his own sexual desire for her and thrilled by the prospect of her liberation so he was callous about the entire thing and didn't care if she would be exposed because there is no real harm that can come. I don't even think he consciously thought about her being exposed in the moment but once presented with the issue it's never was a big deal to him. He even outright says this to viscerys. People whore, sure not women but Targaryens do. They are the blood of old valyria, they are dragon riders and rulers of the realm. They are above everyday conventions in society. They bed family members because they can. They whore because they can. They start wars because they can. The world is theirs for conquering and every aspect can be bent according to their will, including the truth and the truth is whatever viscerys says the truth is. Viscerys can decree his daughter is a maiden and whoever disputes it is treasonous and no one can defy him because well they have dragons. So no It was not calculated, it was just callous which fits into Daemon's personality perfectly and the difference between those two things is important when you're trying to put his actions into context. Also, if Daemon's plan was in fact to use Rhaenyra to gain power why did he even tell Viscerys he can just make it go away before the idea of a marriage even comes up? See the math isn't mathing.

This brings me to the most controversial part of their sexual encounter but the part that I think it the most fascinating. When Rhaenyra asks what is this place Daemon tells her it's where people come to take what they want. This is important for her because she's never seen sex as something that she can take for herself or as an act where she has power but Daemon takes her to a place where she can. Where they both can. This tells you that this experience is meant to be empowering for both of them but especially Rhaenyra. Being there empowers Daemon to cross a boundary he had not crossed before. He gets to take Rhaenyra. Being there for Rhaenyra empowers her to take control of her sexual expression and seek control, seek pleasure, seek passion, seek something that's purely about want and need and about nothing else. He outright tells her that this is what sex is for men AND women. This directly contradicts the idea that Daemon cares nothing about her awakening and it's a plot.

You could argue he says these things to manipulate her into an act but why chose a form of manipulation that plays into her gaining the most instead of him? A sexually empowered Rhaenyra can navigate her duty much more effectively than before. She can make smarter decisions and stop the tantrums that are holding her back. A sexually empowered Rhaenyra that is bold and unafraid and enlightened can form alliances that will strengthen her claim to the throne. We actually see this happen by the end of the episode when she agrees to marry Laenor without dispute and forces Viscerys to get rid of Otto as his hands. This Rhaenyra does not serve a Daemon who only wants to control her and use her for power, it does the exact opposite.

let's look at how the acts even take place for some ideas about his motives. He doesn't try to overwhelm her. He doesn't hungrily attack her even though he is hungry for her. He also doesn't dominate her completely. She's as into it as he is. She doesn't move a pace beyond where she is comfortable. He doesn't rush her and aggressively try to get into to submit to him. He doesn't overwhelm her with pleasure he gradually builds her up and lets her chase it. They passionately but tenderly kiss. He caresses her hair and her body. She pulls him close for more and doesn't shy away from her. Yes he's the one who turns her and moves towards the wall but she walks with him keeping up with her pace perfectly. Even when she is pushed against the wall she is excited and challenges him, she's not overpowered. He doesn't yank her clothing off he sensually exposures her. One of the best moments was when he takes her pants off. SHE ACTUALLY HELPS HIM DO IT. Her hands move to remove her own clothing and they actually do it together. He does not flinch when she initially changes position, it's AFTER that he pulls back. He's still into it when she turns and kisses him and nothing about the power dynamics in that kiss changed from their previous kisses.

This is the entire reason I don't agree that Daemon ends their encounter because he no longer had control of the sex act which is what pretty much everybody thinks the creators mean when they speak on this part and why he ended it. Is he shocked that's shes so responsive? Yes but I don't think that shock has a negative impact on the moment because he never actually had complete control of the sex act and he wanted her to feel powerful. That was never the point to begin with. Rhaenyra is supposed to take control of her sexual encounter, she's supposed to be an equal participant. She's supposed to seek pleasure and take what she wants. She's supposed to give him as good as she gets. That's the lesson. That's the whole point of the awakening. This entire thing is about empowering them both, not just him. This empowerment is important for rhaenyra for all the reasons I mentioned above and Daemon knows this. He had an entire conversation with her about this. He comforted her about her lack of all these things earlier. We even hear Rhaenyra tell alicent that her hundreds of suitors don't actually want her, they want her name and her valyrian blood. Daemon is supposed to be the exception. He intentionally wants to make himself the exception. So having Daemon have a motive of wanting to dominate her sexual encounter and being unable to do so which makes him abruptly abandon then sell her out to ruin her for a title her would make this scenario even worse than it already is because it means he wanted to completely disempower her all so that he could have a shot at the iron throne that he was never going to get. It's literally making her worst fear, the source of all of her teen angst for the last 4 episodes come to life. This interpretation colors every single one of their interactions with darkness from the very moment he has a full conversation with her this episode and gives him a level of villainy that completely takes away his nuance as a character because this act with this motivation requires selfishness and callousness towards her that crosses a line. Ultimately I just don't think this characterization well supported by the narrative and It would also make it difficult to even sell a later romance between the two of them.

So the math ain't math'n so how can we make it all add up? That's what this entire analysis boils down to based on what I've already demonstrated:

Daemon didn't set out to manipulate rhaenyra and this was not a well-plotted plan to ruin her. He wanted to initiate her sexual awakening for her own good because he cares and for his own selfish desire to have her sexually

He loves viscerys but still has resentment towards him leading to an unending desire to upset him when the opportunity presents itself. He was well aware that his actions would potentially stick a knife in Viscerys's back if he found out about it and he relished it but it was not merely a ploy to piss him off.

He did not go out of his way to ensure viscerys found out about it. He just didn't care about the consequences if Viscerys or anyone else found out. He had no connection to the spy at all. The spy was Otto doing the whole time with the help of mysaria.

He actually enjoyed her having control during the encounter, it made him desire her even more because he has always been enticed by her moments of self-assuredness. It makes him crave her instead of wanting to reject her.

The only reason he could not complete the sex act with her is because Daemon has psychogenic erectile dysfunction for reasons that are yet to be revealed.

Daemon did not pre-plan asking for Rhaenyra's hand. It happened at the moment because for the same reasons he was unable to get an erection.

If you watch the scene just before he leaves the brothel Daemon is very much still into engaging with Rhaenyra when she turns around to kiss him. As I said before he was actually relishing her show of control, not shying away from it. The problem is at the point in the encounter where she turns around he has already kissed her, caressed her body and he has already stimulated her vaginally.

(You can see his hand move from her hip further down when he has her against the wall. It was clearly meant to stimulate digital stimulation but it was purposely obscured by shadows and angles to focus on Rhaenyra's pleasure versus the actual physicality of the act)

When she turns around the next escalation in their sexual encounter is actual penetration. She wants it. He wants it....only Daemon can not get an erection. That's why he pulls away and looks at her for so long. He is hoping her desire, her look of hunger, her hair, anything will get his penis to stand up but it doesn't. She pushes to continue but he can't to he pulls away every time. He even attempts to push through it but giving in to her again but he still can't perform. That's when he finally reaches peak frustration which is both embarrassing and inconvenient so he leaves her to nurse his wound on his own. That is why he see that he ended up passing our drunk somewhere and Mysaria has to retrieve him. The control the creators were speaking about wasn't control of the power dynamics of the act, it was about control of his ability to perform aka exert his power ultimate during the acts.

Daemon has psychogenic erectile dysfunction. He had this issue before Rhaenyra since we saw him in the middle of sex with Mysaria, someone he clearly enjoys but he was unable to maintain his erection and reach a climax. That's why they even showed us that scene. Daemon is not physically impotent, he has no vascular issues preventing erection, and he has no neurologic issue preventing erection. It's purely psychologic. When he retreats from Mysaria he is clearly preoccupied with several thoughts. He is chaotic as hell but he is extremely emotional. The emotions we see most often are just petulance, anger, and resentment. His encounter with Mysaria established that when Daemon has too many emotions and thoughts in his head it interferes with his ability to sexually perform. I don't when this started but that is exactly what happens with Rhaenyra.

Daemon sexually desired Rhaenyra but I think once he started the actual act of being with her sexually he completely lost control of his emotions and his thoughts NOT the power dynamics that that's what rattles him. Maybe a little bit of guilt for attempting to have sex with his young niece in the middle of a brothel kicked in, after all until this point he has only known her as family and despite the familial history of incest he himself has never actually engaged in it before (that I know of). Maybe he feels something because Rhaenyra completely trusts him and that trust is why he's about to take her maidenhead in the middle of a brothel even though that is not how her first time should actually be. Maybe he feels an overwhelming emotional connection to her at the moment that caught him off guard because this was supposed to be about sex. It's probably all of the above really but the idea is these thoughts come up and he can not control them and because he can not control them he can not get an erection to actually do the one thing he truly set out to do which is have sex with Rhaenyra. He also can not tell her this because she has no idea what erectile dysfunction is and he can not explain it to her without being humiliated. He is supposed to be the one giving her a sexual awakening not a lesson on men with broken penises. So he leaves her there when under any other circumstances he would never do that to her.

That knowledge makes the entire puzzle come together because it gives his reaction at that moment some context that fits with the lead-up and that makes his later actions make some sense.

When he is confronted by Viscerys he straight up lies to enrage Viscerys and to cover for his own humiliation. Those are literally the only real things he can gain from telling that lie. Unbeknownst to us all and Rhaenyra, Daemon also had an awakening with Rhaenyra and that's why when the opportunity presents itself he seizes the chance to take her hand in marriage. Through his humiliation, he discovered that he desires Rhaenyra in a way that is bigger than he realized. He doesn't just want her sexually he wants her fully and completely. He wants her laugh, her childish curiosity, her determination, her ability to see right through him, her bravery, her stubbornness, her petulance, her anger, her beauty, her valyrian blood, her claim, her everything. I mean he straight up tells Viscerys he will take Rhaenyra just as she is. That was about so much more than a reputation. It firmly makes Daemon the opposite of the men Rhaenyra hates which actually fits the narrative but makes it even more interesting because Rhaenyra is unaware of all of this so it gives them so much more to explore and play with for the characters and their relationships later.

So no he didn't plot to marry her, it isn't until Viscerys himself presents him with the opportunity that he decides that's what he wants to do. It solves the problem of her reputation and gets him what he wants which is Rhaenyra and the restoration of his house to a level of glory and admiration that he feels Viscerys has sullied with his weakness. That's why I think it's important to acknowledge that Daemon was being truthful about his motivations when he says he can restore his house to glory. That is definitely a part of it. Sure it makes his intentions less pure but it makes them authentic and that's what matters the most. If this wasn't spontaneous he would have tried to end his own marriage before he even brought it up to make it more likely to happen. Instead, he never asks to end his marriage, he only suggests taking a second wife because at that brief moment where viscerys has him at knifepoint it's the only reasonable way forward. He didn't have time to actually think about a more seamless way to have her hand in marriage.

Finally, Daemon actually does accomplish his goal. Rhaenyra leaves their encounter and she feels fully empowered so much so she feels comfortable propositioning Criston for sex AND she takes the dominant position placing her own pleasure above all. Her view on sex and relationships and her own power have completely changed thanks to Daemon. This is further solidified by the fact that when her father tells her she's marrying Laenor she doesn't fight him. She will actually do her duty now because she gets what it fully means and no longer feels like she will be a prisoner in a marriage. She even feels so empowered she challenges Viscerys to get rid of Otto, a man he has been loyal to for decades AND it actually happens. Rhaenyra can now effectively navigate her future because of one intense experience with Daemon that shifts her perspective and I think that's pretty awesome for Rhaenyra and for Rhaenyra and Daemon as a pairing.

So in summary: Daemon Targaryen is a chaotic man with chaotic feelings but he is sprung on rhaenyra targaryen and he is not a cold-hearted master manipulator. Rhaenyra is now a boss bitch. Thanks, Daemon. The end lol

#daemon x rhaenyra #daemyra #rhaenyra x daemon #HOTD #HOTD commentary #Daemyra commentary #whew this is long y'all I'm so so sorry #if you read this you're a real one #this is just my attempt to make it all make sense in my head #I hope it makes sense #AGAIN THIS IS LONG AS SHIT PLEASE BE AWARE

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plasticfangtastic · 7 months

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American Royalty. Ch. 8

A Homelander X F!Reader/ Dadlander fanfic.

A/N: Should be posting ch. 9 soon, thank you for reading and if you wish to be added to the taglist plz let me know in the comments, prev. chapters in my masterlist pin post and below... should be fixing my pin post soon to make it easier to find.

Tags: Mild gore, angst, slow burn, fluff, oc characther, child neglect, dadlander, romance.

Chapter Eight

Whisky

Being asked to leave by morning had been upsetting, but he was smart enough to know it was too soon... things had to be more formal before introducing this new stage of your lives to your children, admittedly he could tell something was off but as long as it didn’t ruin his plans he would pretend not to care, he loved the sex, and this feeling of fullfiment brewing inside him.

You were just as he had left you, every reaction just as he remembered, his only disappointment was not finding any milk in you, you taunting as he suckled with the facts he had missed out on just how full and amazing they had been when Helena was still feeding, even mentioning you had taken photos– for your boobs did look incredible.

He parted after bruising your lips with his own, wanting to kiss you more, almost getting lost as he prodded for another round, you would have given in but as the neighbors woke up, you pushed him gently saying goodbye with a peck and the flutter of your eyelashes against his skin.

But as he stared at your face before leaving, some improper desires clouded his vision, his own fantasies materializing as he headed home.

He left feeling starved, wanting to feast so desperately... wanting to see you again.

You sat on your kitchen bench, holding a bowl of oatmeal feeling sick, it had felt good, god it did– when was the last time you felt that good? And he could go on for hours with that mouth of his… but the weight of your actions had proven bitter on your tongue.

It was the natural course of things after all…

You didn’t need to love him, you just needed him to love you.

You just needed to win him over, no matter how dirty the tricks you had to use.

But as the little wannabe murderer walked into the kitchen, you fantasized of running away, far where nobody could find you… it made you sick, to feel this way... when you loved only her.

“So here’s the deal… I am going to push myself to be the best step-mother candidate he’s ever seen, I am going to get that asshole to be your dad and you are going to become part of the best fucking Superhero tag-team that ever graced this cursed fucking country! I want you better than the TNT twins, The Marvels and Legacy!” You hopped off the bench– Phantasma and Poltergeist will be household names!” You turned to her putting the bowl down– Helena you better get yourself so deeply rooted inside those labs that they will not know how to move a pen or take a shit without your input! So from now on we work together, no more improv.”

Helena was a tad surprised as she formed a stepping stool to take a serving of fresh oatmeal off the stove.

“I am glad we can see eye to eye, mother.” She took cinnamon and honey, building her breakfast as she watched you closely– I don’t think Elmo’s parents are going to like me after yesterday… had enough time to muse on that mistake last night.” she sounded apologetic.

“Leave it to me. Nigel and Sven will come around. Who wouldn’t want their kid to team up with The Homelander’s kid. Fuck I’ll even have your father make them work with us if that’s what it takes!” You spat.

Helena seemed pleased with herself as she heard you, proud that you would use the man if you had to, guess she had learned this from somebody afterall.

You didn’t take the day off, you had no time to waste in the end.

Ashley was busy, too many reports to read and correct, too many people to manage, and her research had finally bare some interesting results, she sunk in her chair giving herself a couple minutes to spare for this news preparing for the worse– Homelander had in fact impregnated at least 2 other women over the years. One had died tragically mid-pregnancy from a genuine freak accident, and the other had an abortion six weeks into her pregnancy, by sheer luck only you and Becca Saunders had won the lotto– that was one less headache on her plate, she care not for Saunders leaving that page behind with the legacy of Stan Edgar, content to just having Ryan around as proof that woman ever existed… You on the other hand, she felt sorry for, he had been honest with Ashley about your time together and reading the reports of his vendetta made her frustrated-- why he simply didn’t kill you back then… perhaps it would’ve been a mercy if he had killed you, wanting to see you suffer first.

So when she saw you walk into her office in the middle of the day, she took out the Advil.

“I thought I had to make an appointment for these things” You said.

“I've been waiting for you– take a seat please.”

Her expression seemed genuinely kind.

“What can I do for you?”

“Homelander… What is he writing? I have no choice but to agree, but I don’t really want to ask him just in case he skirts thru the important details… if he deceives me for no reason”

Ashley had the script draft on her cabinet but she wouldn’t hand it to you.

“Is simple… you and him had a torrid and turbulent on-and-off secret relationship, after Ryan was born he gained primary custody, then you guys got back together because you’re bad for each other and unable to leave one another for too long…you had Helena soon after you broke up– It will be spicy and romantic! lovers that just can’t get enough– a match made in hell!! Oh god it would be so dramatic, people are just gonna eat it up! anyhoo… you found yourself keeping Helena.” She swallowed looking down at her keyboard– There's a lot of little details we are working on for consistency. Already got a pre-production team looking at sets for photoshoots and we already have some cute babies in mind to play Helena and Ryan for some supplemental family videos and pictures.”

“I didn’t know him until after his kid was born… actually.” You did the math in your head there for a second for the first time, Ryan was tall– massive for his age. You assumed he was 12 or 13 at first glance, it stayed that way until you were told otherwise, Helena was on the other hand short, you still clung to a spurt growth down the line so your mind hadn’t noticed just how close they were in age– that motherfucker cheated on me!”

For all the grief he would give you, he hadn’t even hesitated to do the same.

Ashley sank in her chair.

“I assume you two would like to talk to him…” she bit her lips– we really need you, and your daughter… you won’t change your mind, right?” she cringed.

“Whatever…” You might as well have been cursing– I’ll do it but what is in it for me?” You tap your foot eager to run and leave.

“You will be financially compensated and have our very top in-charge of Phantasma… Homelander informed me of your plans. I’m thinking of giving her a team for when she debuts, got a couple talents that I'm sure could make a fantastic team alongside her when they become of age!” She spread her hands in arch to announce her grand vision– ‘Teenage Kix: The new order!’ We retired the name after the second iteration sold so poorly… but I can just imagine an all female team, and I guess one boy… of rebels with a cause! The next generation!” she says gleefully– We have been trying to increase our overseas Supe presence… so this new team would be a great launching pad for Vought!”

You looked at her with mild distress as she got all excited, clearly he had been talking without you around, for god knows how long.

“We got this nine-year old in Japan and this eleven year old Sudanese girl in France… their powers are so incredible, it would be a waste if we leave them as simple local celebs instead of bringing them to the global forum… to have them spearhead the most inclusive and international team Vought ever produced, heck we never even had an all-female team so Helena being captain would be historic!”

She dug through her cabinets to hand you photographs of those two little girls, you just saw girls much like your own, one with spider powers and one that could make vivid illusions according to the short report presented.

“I guess… and Ryan?”

Her excitement died immediately.

“Ryan would debut solo… but–” Ashley realized what you meant, pushing the CEO aside and forcibly bringing back Ashley to the front– We were hoping you and Homelander could take care of that whole family situation… we really don’t want this to go south… but Homelander well–

“He’s impatient and an asshole. I get it… I’ll talk to him.” You said while pushing the photos back at her– you have my full cooperation.”

Ashley said nothing when you left grinding your teeth as you pushed your chair back and headed out the door.

Marching towards 99th, he was in a meeting with The Seven at the sight of you, his serious expression softened demanding the room to be left alone for you, noting that crease on your nose with concern, you walked past them, his step was light as he basically frolicked towards you as you both gained privacy and just as he was at arm's length readying himself for a kiss– you smashed your fist on his face.

You squealed behind gritted teeth, clutching at your hand, beating in pain, your bones aching and your muscles on fire, huffing and cursing spit, blood dripping down onto the ground as you squeezed your injured hand, unsure if bones had broken, looking up your face boiling and shaky, as your hand swelled up.

“Ouch.” He said nonchalantly, tilting his head to try and catch a still glimpse of your hand– "you have no broken bones… but I’ll get you some ice.”

“Fuck you.” you hissed.

“What did I do now?” He took your hand by force, his voice winging as he spoke to you, pressing your fingers open to inspect the torn skin on your knuckles– do you feel better now?”

“You cheated on me!”

“What?” He blinked a couple times unsure as to what you meant– we aren’t… are we?”

“Becca.” You spat her name burning your tongue with the vowels– you fucked her when you were dating me! All the bullshit you did to me over “cheating”, everything you did to me you did while fucking some whore on the side!! You hypocritical piece of shit!! You fucked her and got her pregnant while you were with me!!” You shouted.

Homelander bit his lips, giving it a loud smack as he paced himself around you.

“We weren’t serious when that happened…” He said in a nervous tone.

“In what world do you live in where me calling you my ‘boyfriend’ and you calling me your girlfriend two months in– doesn’t mean you are my boyfriend you fucking bastard!!” Your throat cracked– you… you’re unbelievable… what happened last night… that was a mistake!” You cried in pain, squeezing your wounded hand.

“I was with Maeve when I started dating you, and that wasn’t a secret! Pardon me for thinking we weren’t serious but after Maeve and I broke up four months into ‘US’-- then that's when you and I were serious!!” He tugged at your wounded hand forcing you closer, you twisted and cried as he squeezed the wounds– Becca was a one night stand. Nothing just a couple hours of shit sex… Maeve and I weren’t doing anything… you… you were special… different.” he stuttered.

“What do you mean by that? You said Maeve was just a PR stunt to drive-up sales.” Your hand no longer bothered you, your mouth quivering lightly as a hole built itself inside your core.

“She had her stupid dyke girlfriend on the side… always moping about her as if I couldn’t hear her… It all stopped mattering after you– I know I was a whore. But once I met you. I decided I was going to become an ‘honest’ man for you.” He softened his grip on you, yet keeping you close, unable to leave you alone– I dreamt of us getting married in this lovely old church in Guatemala, of a life together, so I moved on from her– and Becca… just a blip. just a hole. Not you.”

“That’s a pretty way to say I was your mistress.” You could’ve cried, but he didn’t deserve to see you like that anymore, you couldn't dare letting him think he could comfort you, if you did.

“I never saw you in such manner… you were my Y/N… not my mistress… not once were you that to me… You were the one” he said genuinely upset, as you tried to taint those bittersweet memories even further– that’s the truth.”

You pushed him away floating to the nearest chair just to slump, as your legs began to give in, as the pain in your hand competed with the one in your chest.

“Before I run off up the stairs and throw myself down 99 floors– just tell me… is there any other life altering truths you wish to bestow upon me that you had so kindly sheltered me from besides informing me I was a secret homewrecker.”

“You aren’t going to kill yourself, right?” He was panicking inside.

“Piss off… now spit it out.” You looked away thinking solely of the door, and the tempting window.

“You know how I told you Becca was held captive– He blubbered nervously, his chin moving too much, his posture all twitchy– where they kept Ryan.”

“Yeah in a sound stage, what about it?” You replied frankly annoyed.

“Her husband thought I murdered her but she was alive this whole time and thought I did it– so he’s like my mortal enemy, and he even brought my dad to kill me– That terrorist attack was him and my dad. William Butcher and Soldier Boy plus Maeve came after me… but after my father tried to kill Ryan we had a truce… he’s been quiet but I still think he’s planning something… I also let that plane drop, couldn’t have saved them… could’ve saved some… but there’s a really bad video that could ruin me from that day… I also sheltered that headpopper from a while ago, and so many murders…”

“Soldier boy? Father?” You stared at him in confusion.

“My deadbeat dad.”

“WHAT!!!??” You jumped on your feet, the chair sliding rapidly behind you– wait isn’t that Butcher dude the guy who killed Stillwell!?”

“Yes… also Becca’s husband and I guess Ryan’s stepfather.” he said bitterly– "you don’t care about the other things?” He sounded anxious for a moment.

“Why would I!? We already discussed that years ago!” You responded apathetically to the situation, him killing had never been an issue– So you fucked some married floosy like the whore you are and drove a man insane… Helena and Ryan go to a very easily accessible school and you are telling me a serial killer-slash-terrorist you’ve been antagonizing for years is still out-there!! A guy who fucking brought a super-terrorist to US soil!!!”

“He would not dare to put a hand on them.” he scoffed at the idea, finding it beyond absurd.

“You mean he wouldn’t hurt Ryan.” you said, pushing the bile down your throat.

“Nothing nor anybody will hurt Helena… I promise.” His expression was confident– I can have a security detail keep an eye on her when she’s at school after we go public… thanks for agreeing with Ashley. I was thinking you, me and the kids can go have dinner tomorrow and break the news to them.”

You shot him dirty looks.

“Our kids could still be in danger. Why did you send them to school and not homeschooled them!!?” you argued, your voice turnign frayed– Are you insane!! They cannot be outside!”

“No!” He shouted– I will not deny my son of the childhood I never was allowed to have! I AM NOT going to be like Voguebaum!” He snapped shouting back at you.

You had to control your breathing, waiting for him to calm down as those red flares coloured your skin, he struggled with his labored breathing, brushing his temples as he relaxed, and you found somewhere else to shrink into.

“You literally let me come all the way here to break my hand.” You slouched on your new seat, chuckling lightly as you wiped some blood off on your pants.

“Is not broken.” he chuckled back– thought you just spit on me again.”

His mood straightened back to normal forcing a tad limp smile.

“I might after I get a drink… be a good boy and fetch mommy a scotch.” He did so obediently, you admired the city skylines as you waited for your drink, you took a quick sip before throwing it at his crotch– bitch ass.”

“Did that feel good?’ A little light reflected on your glass.

“A little bit” You giggled staring at the ‘piss’ stain on his crotch– don’t think we are fucking ever again” You growled– I’ll do my best Lorelai Gillmore impersonation and you’ll play the charming and faithful husband… I’ll help you raise your kid and you can help raise ours but we will never be together.”

“Only for the camera and around the kids… I guess we can go all 1950’s and have two nice little beds in our bedroom– maybe a blowjob for my birthday and whatever you want for yours.” He sounded as he was joking but you weren’t certain.

“Depends how nice of a wedding you had in mind. Otherwise I hope your stock up on tenga eggs” You threw the glass to the ground, letting it shattered by his boot– I wish you had been John Gillman all along and not Homelander… I wanted to marry that guy… there was this little place near my old house, a nice little park with lots of flowers…”

You had loved that memory, as embarassing tears returned, you now had no idea who was the man you had wanted all those years ago, everything built on lies, that younger you that had been ignorant was the happiest you’ve been, now you wish you could return to just being an overworked single mum, wished you could just look back at those days and still find glee if you tried… you wouldn’t dare complain anymore if you could.

“I’ll buy a million flowers just for you– picture this a carpet of flower petals as you walk down the aisle in a custom Lhullier gown, chiffon all over the ceiling, and chandeliers illuminating the roof of an antique church… Helena playing the piano, the whole world looking at you. So dinner?”

You gave him a sordid smile, more curious as to how he supposedly knew bridal designers– unable to shake up the picture of his bedroom housing a bunch of wedding magazines under his bed instead of porn.

“Let’s go to Junior’s– lovely family restaurant…" and full with people... lots of people, so he will behave-- and please don’t dress so fancy… just wear a baseball shirt and some khakis like a normal person.” You got up, your head heavier than your heart, aching more than your eyes– why didn’t you kill me a minute ago?”

“I am not making the same mistakes I did with Becca or Maeve, and you are angry… you’ll come around.” He pulled at you lifting your chin– so marry me, and make it official-official.”

“Sure. Okay. I’ll marry you. Why the fuck not?– am looking forward to a lifetime of celibacy while you fuck around all accross the tri-state area.” You sniffed a tad– love being a femcel.”

“Oh don’t be like that… my cock is all yours, just put a bag over my head and hate fuck me like a normal person, stupid– You know I can hold my breath real good.” He purred.

You gave his body a quick up-and-down, thinking of last night, he certainly was easy on the eyes, and still made sure to give you a happy ending.

“I almost think you will be happy with that.” you look at him confusedly, was he so desperate to keep you he would whore himself out so cheaply?-- just you and me playing house… is that all you want, really?”

“Well after last night, and after hanging out with Ryan and Helena together… I think I want another one.”

“Another what?”

“Kid.”

“Okay whatever”

His expression puzzled you, that wavy smile and the loud cogs in his brain working overtime as he realized that this was an event actually taking place and not a rehearsed and overplayed fantasy scenario, he had never anticipated your response, he had never expected the earnest response, it had only hit him… that you two had just gotten engaged.

He turned you around pushing you out the door.

Guess this wasn’t a cheap fuck from the local crackhead after all, as you realized you might've just agreed to have another kid... even if the odds weren't stacked in his favour.

“A son preferably” he spoke before disappearing at hyperspeed, leaving your hair glued to your face.

You broke down in laughter and tears, caught in a storm but it was absolutely hilarious nevertheless, people gawked at you as you cried and cackled by the foot of the metal statue.

You took your phone and googled the designer and gosh the work was fucking gorgeous, you made a note to have Helena break into his house to look for those bridal magazines later.

Homelander was choking on nothing, collapsed in his bedroom as his heart was about to explode, he couldn’t believe himself.

“You fucking imbecile! How are you so stupid!!?” The voice yelled at him, he recoiled, making himself small in the foot of his bed– you… you… goddammit tiger… how could you do such a thing” The voice was softer now.

“I didn’t think she would say yes so nonchalantly!” He cried.

“We didn’t even have a mariachi band! No flowers… god that was so ugly and cheap! So fucking embarassing.”

“But we got engaged didn’t we!?”

“Fake-engaged… send her flowers and go get a ring... make it real you cheap fuck!"

He nodded softly at his reflection, finally calming down, thinking he had actually done something right.

“A wife… finally a wife… and she can’t leave me… she can’t…” he whispered– so… we did it.”

“Don’t celebrate, she might change her mind.”

“Thought I was a pessimist,” he joked.

By night when you reached home there would be multiple knocks on your door, men carrying extravagant flower arrangements right after the other, even waking you up the next morning with carnations. Helena seemed pleased with your developments even if it made her nose a little itchy thst the house smelled like spring.

Leaving cards saying “thank you and I love you.” for you to read.

It was cute, but excessive.

Homelander stared at the 30+ different cake options and the endless pages of the overwhelming restaurant menu, thinking of how many years it would take him to kill the calories, the place smelled sickly sweet and the people around were loud, at this point he might as well gone to fucking Chilli’s. His only consolation was that you did have a chuckle at his outfit, a dodger’s shirt, beige khakis and those sexy ass white New balance…the versace shades did come back, just to ruin the look.

Ryan and Helena exchanged expectant looks, both knowing you both were about to say something life changing and obvious, Homelander could smell his son’s anxiety feeding into his own as he shuffled in his seat.

The brown New York classic indoors were fun and charming, a hundred year old venue was cool, but he wanted this to be over and admire later.

“So… I have something to tell you Ryan.” He was so pale, ordering dessert first before dropping the news, his fork pushing the maraschino cherries around digging to get to the cheesecake he had no desire to eat.

“You guys are dating.” He blurted taking a bite of his layered carrot cheesecake.

“Well…” He swallowed hard, he looked at you for support, a little relieved inside admitedly.

Your hand reached out for this little boy’s arm, mustering a sweet honest smile, taking a long deep breath before speaking.

“Your father and I are getting married” Helena choked on red velvet frosting, trying not to die there, she expected you to get here but not immediately– I know I cannot replace your mother nor will I try, but I hope you can let me help take care of you, and that you can guide me to do so in a way that honors her memory.”

You choked slightly on your own words.

As the kid looked at you in disbelief, unsure if he should take himself away from you, he looked at his father who hid his face with shame, checking if the people around this booth could overheard this.

“Your father and I dated for a couple years after he met your mother… We were both young and we led very different lives so we separated… but we had Helena…” He finally gave his son reassurance, stroking his back as you spoke camly– we had been seeing each other for a while now… so well here we are… We know it is sudden but after everything you went through in the last two years it just seemed irresponsible to throw myself into your life… but this isn’t better… is just not possible to contain, and is unfair in Helena.”

“She’s my sister…?” He looked at his father desperate for answers, with blotches of pink forming on his neck.

He had to give you points for how easy your lies flowed out of your tender lips, that was not in the script he had planned for tonite, he by now had forgotten all talking points he had planned for not that they mattered anymore, he even had you rehearse some but frankly you didn’t bother memorizing them either.

“Did you know?” he asked Helena.

“I suspect it… I mean we got the same eye color.” she points with her fork.

“I didn’t know about you, Helena… your mother and I did not end on amicable terms.” He looks at you with believable tragedy, no doubt from years of acting on his belt and actual feelings– it is quite regrettable but we have reconciled, and that’s all that matters now.”

“I made mistakes when it came to my daughter and your father” Your mouth tasted like horseshit so you swallowed hard– I am sorry but I hope we can… get along… We both want you and Helena to grow up as a family. I won’t force you to accept me, and we won’t be moving in together any time soon but please give me a chance.” You said starting to tremble in your seat.

The kid and your kid looked at each other.

“You two are the worst.” Your daughter spoke on his behalf as the kid seemed lost.

“Is okay… I think this could’ve been worse” Ryan said– you seem nice Ms. L/N…”

“You can call me Y/N or a nickname if you like.” You said with your most saccharine voice– Your dad and I were thinking maybe going together for a holiday… bit of a bonding experience.”

Ryan and Helena contemplated the idea, Homelander was panicking as you forced your revisions onto him.

“Camping would be nice.” Ryan said.

“I always wanted to see Yellowstone.” Helena giggled at the idea of seeing geysers, and this man failing miserably to build a tent.

“You’re taking this quite well, honey” You said towards your daughter.

“It is what it is…”

A/N: will say what reader-chan said about Becca does not reflect my personal views on Ms. Saunders storyline, but in this story HL never told her about the events of Ryan's conception obviously nor hinted at anything unsavoury involving the matter... for all purposes Reader knows HL kills people willy nilly but isn't a sex offender.

Taglist-- hope you guys had fun reading @demodemo909 @immyowndefender @fromforeigntofamiliarity @666riddler

@ghqstfqce

#personal #homelander #the boys #homelander x reader #homelander x you #homelander fanfiction #my fic tag #this chapter was a lot hope you guys had fun reading as much as i had writing it #american royalty

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qqueenofhades · 1 year

Note

re an ask that you got earlier, how much do you think ivan acrually even knows about the darkling's secret history?

Prior to the events of 1x08, I think it's most likely that Ivan knows a good deal more about Kirigan's plans than the rest of the Grisha, but by no means all of it, and it's not clear whether that extends to Kirigan/Aleksander's true identity. What we do know in canon/semi-canon about Ivan's character and beliefs includes the following:

In 1x02, during the carriage scene, it's clear that Ivan deeply feels/resents the historical persecution of Grisha, since he tells Alina that the Little Palace has walls to protect them because it used to be a death sentence to be one, and Kirigan has now made them powerful, respected, and feared.

In 1x03, in the "why are you eATiNg fIgS????" scene that makes me laugh every time, Ivan clearly thinks that Alina's main mission/purpose in being at the Little Palace and harnessing her power is to tear down the Fold. This indicates that as far as he knows/Kirigan has told him, that's what she's supposed to do. Kirigan himself isn't there, so there's no reason for Ivan to pretend otherwise/say anything other than what he thinks.

In 1x06, when Ivan interrogates the Conductor about the plot to steal Alina out of the Little Palace, that's probably both when Aleksander's overall plans began to change and Ivan became aware of it. Maybe it was first the plan to let Alina explore her power, fall in love with Aleksander, and willingly lend him her light so they could control the Fold/rule Ravka together etc, but after she ran off, Aleksander had to improvise on the fly and accelerate his plans to find the stag/bind himself to Alina. This is most likely when he tells Ivan that they need to get the amplifier and put it on her no matter what, and Ivan agrees. Still, however, thinking that this is so Kirigan can use her power to tear down the Fold.

In 1x07, while David is the one who actually puts the collar/amplifier on Alina and Aleksander, Ivan is the one who holds Alina in place while David does so. This point in the books is also where he tells her that all the male members of his family (father, uncle, two brothers) have died in Ravka's wars against Fjerda, and that's the reason he trusts the Darkling as the only person who can protect Ravka strongly enough and/or stop the fighting once and for all. Simon also mentioned a deleted scene referencing Ivan's backstory, which is probably this scene/happens in this episode, but they cut it.

Also in 1x07: Ivan is present when Alina angrily asks Kirigan if "Aleksander is a fake name too." It's possible that this tips him off to the fact that there's more to Kirigan than it appears/confirms any suspicions he might have had that "Kirigan" isn't who he really is. But this isn't clear.

By 1x08, when Ivan goes into the Fold with Aleksander and Alina and acts as Kirigan's bodyguard/killer of everyone else while the shenaniganry goes on, it's clear that he's decided no matter what, it's still his job to serve Kirigan as his loyal second-in-command and trust that he knows what he's doing. Ivan's last line in s1 before getting yeeted off the skiff by Jesper is to Alina, as he's Heartrending/trying to incapacitate her: "How dare you [turn on Aleksander]? He gave you everything!"

So overall, even if Ivan didn't explicitly realize until 1x08 what Kirigan was really doing, he stayed loyal while it was happening, or at least until the point he was chucked off into the Fold and we don't know yet what happened to him after that. HOWEVER, if it's Word of God that both Ivan and Fedyor survived both s1 and s2, we don't know why Ivan didn't choose to come back to Aleksander and continue to fight with him. Maybe his mind was changed by Fedyor, he was upset about Aleksander leaving him behind to die even after he had helped him carry out the Fold plan, he was otherwise occupied, etc etc. But leaving it at "he was just detained and couldn't get back in time" doesn't seem likely, since even if Simon himself was too busy to come back for s2 and they decided to move Fivan to s3, they need to come up with a compelling in-universe reason for it.

Simon's headcanons for Ivan are a) that he's possibly part Fjerdan and/or has Fjerdan ancestry (since the Fjerdans are Scandinavian and Simon is Danish), which might have led him to often get his loyalty to Ravka questioned and made him very touchy about it, b) Ivan is actually quite fragile and that's why he acts so tough and standoffish, and c) his one weak spot/soft point is Fedyor and their relationship. I don't know how much the writers have or will explicitly incorporate any of this, but hey, that's what Simon thinks.

They could go with Ivan being ancestrally Fjerdan if Fivan ends up at the Ice Court in time for the s3 Crows heist (especially since Fedyor was the one who forced Nina to turn Matthias in and the druskelle might want revenge on them). Or maybe he or Fedyor got mixed up with jurda in Ketterdam, or maybe Ivan will be the leader of the Cult of the Starless Saint and the political opposition to Alina as the new queen of Ravka/leader of the Grisha. Because they're considerably off book by now and have leeway to basically invent further Fivan storyline as they please (since Fedyor and Ivan obviously aren't supposed to survive past Siege and Storm, but I SHALL TAKE IT), we don't know.

Just give me more Ivan/Fedyor otp and Ivan/Jesper foetp. Please and thank you.

#anonymous #ask #ivan kaminsky #fivan #sab spoilers

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artbyblastweave · 9 months

Note

Drop your Lois Lane hot takes

(also if you're not a Superman fan, what would you recommend starting off with?)

So MAWS Lois Lane very pointedly has some significant character flaws, generally justified by her backstory and often the opposite side of the conventional "positive" Lois Qualities that she exhibits. Trust issues stemming from her canon-typical dysfunction with her father, upstream of her whole truth-to-power thing. Self-esteem issues and a sense of inadequacy, upstream of her tenacity and singleminded pursuit of her goals. Downstream from her self-esteem issues you've got a sensitivity to perceived betrayal or the idea that people are only pretending to value her. Self-assurance and confidence... that manifests as bouts of myopic thinking or lack of consideration for others. There's a level on which I like this more than S:TAS- she was fun in that, but the purpose there wasn't to give her any kind of arc. She's much more dynamic in this, she has a palpable crisis, and it all combines into a perfect cocktail demonstrating why she reacts so very, very badly to being out of the loop on Superman. In her position it's not insane to assume that Clark expressed interest in her just to jerk her around and sabotage her investigation more thoroughly. But in practice... I (and those watching with me, who joined me in screaming at the TV a bunch during the last couple episodes) felt that the narrative was both-sidesing the dynamic a bit uncomfortably, because Clark has very good reason to not trust Lois specifically with sensitive information. Their first interaction involved her manipulating him for the sake of advancing her career. She's been screaming from the rooftops that she dislikes Superman, wants to expose Superman's secrets, and he was on the verge of coming clean with her before that came up. She functionally threatens to kill herself to force him to out himself, right after he got back from the government (and very likely her father specifically!) trying to assassinate him. Very little of this was coherently voiced when they're having it out, and as a result it felt like the narrative was much more sympathetic to Lois's stance than Clarks, treating his concealing the information as the root of the problem here. And when Jimmy brings up that he's known for years but understood that it was probably a deeply personal situation that Clark would bring up when he was comfortable- that's not a catalyst for introspection about whether Lois is entitled to the information, it isn't used as the point to push the idea that both parties have valid motivations here. It's mostly just the catalyst for another gag where now Jimmy is upset that Clark told Lois first (without. You know. the context.) I walked away thinking that Clark doesn't have a disproportionate amount to apologize for in this situation. Not nothing, but not the brunt. The reconciliation arc really breezed past the fact that she threw herself off a building to force the issue. Any relationship where throwing yourself off a building is a tool in the toolbox seems like it might be on shaky ground, communicatively!

The thing is, well, honestly there's a few things. I'm willing to accept off the bat that I might be lily-orcharding a perfectly unobjectionable creative decision to some extent, because by default I'm really biased in favor of anyone trying to keep deeply compromising information about their identities away from their loved ones for fear of their negative reaction, and that's coloring the intensity of my negative response. Another thing is that I think the show is kind of a victim of the megashort season runs of contemporary cartoons- I mean we'll be lucky if we get 30 episodes of this show total, every arc is gonna be at least somewhat pinched when you get 10 episodes and change per season. And a third, final thing is that the season isn't over yet, and they've left themselves with a great springboard from which to address my misgivings.

Clark leans into the idea that he's the one at fault, begs forgiveness, and so on, but that's actually in character for this version; given that one of his biggest drives is to be accepted, it makes sense that he'd do whatever he thought he had to get things smoothed out as quickly as possible, even if there's still a lot going unaddressed below the surface. And Episode 7 (6?) is basically entirely about how Lois's character flaws, scaled up and appended to power, can turn out really really bad. Kryptonite is introduced in this continuity by a bunch of alternate-universe Lois Lanes who try to kill Superman without giving him the benefit of the doubt- all while never expressly communicating to anyone that the root of their concern is how badly things went with their own Supermen. Lois meets an army of herself and immediately, correctly assumes that they aren't on the up-and-up, that they're holding something back. And the episode ends with her in possession of both a Superman-killing tool and information engineered to set off her well-established paranoid tendencies about Clark.

So if the show is being smart- and there's a very good chance that it is- the next leg is going to be about how for a superhero, just being open about your secret identity to your loved ones isn't necessarily going to be enough to defuse the underlying tensions and failures to communicate; the fact that they really speed-ran the reconciliation is going to turn out to be deliberate, a bandaid fix on the deeper problem, and a much worse reckoning is in the pipes once it becomes obvious that Task Force X is headed by her estranged father. (Which seems like the twist they're going for with that- they've never said the general's name out loud, so I think they're going for a fakeout where we all assume it's Wade Eiling but it turns out to actually be Sam Lane.) However. I've definitely watched a bunch of shows where I kept going "If the show is smart," "If the show is smart," and then the show wasn't smart, and it just turned out that the writers themselves hadn't chewed on the implications of what they were depicting as much as I had. I've got high hopes, though.

(tagging @st-just, @best-wizard, and @howlingguardian, who all also asked for the elaboration.)

#thoughts #meta #asks #please please please do not do discourse in the notes of this one #Normally I stop just short of having “depiction is not endorsement” tatooed on my forehead #but this one specifically got under my skin

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yonemurishiroku · 2 years

Text

Oh, Nico, my dandelion…

I don’t know if anyone has talked about this before, but I just looked up meanings and symbolism of the dandelion flower and I’m… stunned, to say the least.

There’re reasons why Rick made Persephone turn Nico into a dandelion, of all things, yall, and why am I just now figuring it out? And now I’m screaming into my pillows so yall will suffer with me, too.

- First, let’s just start with how dandelions didn’t get a meaning at first, because they’re so common and they’re everywhere so the Victorian didn’t think of it deserving a symbolism nor simply attention. It’s such a relief that Medieval peasants disagreed and came up with many deep messages anyway.

And this is where I started seeing Nico - because he, too, was constantly looked away or frowned upon at sight. People hardly pay attention to him, and when they do they pretend he isn’t there. It took a two wars for him to finally gain acceptance. It hurts.

- The Dandelion represent resilience - specifically, one’s ability to overcome hardships and challenges. Because it thrives so strong, yall. That little, fragile, flimsy flower can exist practically everywhere with barely a pinch of soil or a crack in between two tiles, drinking rain to grow and clinging to the winds to keep going without any help at all. It flourishes and it blooms all the same no matter how barren that land is.

It’s Nico. Small, young, lonely Nico, who has gone through so much without giving up and loves deeply despite the excruciating pain and thrives in death itself the way nobody else can. He looks at Tartarus’ raw being and survives. The Twins suffocated him for days and he just went no-breathing to keep living. He didn’t stop loving in spite of all that self-loathing. He’s given power over death - one that scares and upsets most - yet Nico takes it like a crown, prideful and unafraid. Persevering. Unrelenting. Resolute.

Nico who is praised by Apollo himself for his resilience, which precedes even Stygian iron. No matter how much he’s twisted, he won’t be broken.

- This is just me over-thinking, but I can’t help but notice how young Nico was like a dandelion seed, too.

A tiny, little seed that was dropped off heartlessly by the winds, young and naive, alone in a new land far, far away from home with no mother and siblings gone, struggling to learn how to survive by its own. That, right there, is ten-year-old Nico for you.

From here on is what I’ve been able to gather from flowermeaning.com. And this is why, although it’s just wistful think, I’m a little skeptical Rick did some researches to come up with Dandelion as the result of Persephone’s curse.

According to the site, the Dandelion mean:

Healing from emotional pain and physical injury alike

Look me in the eye and tell me Nico has never suffered from agonizing emotional traumas and critical physical injuries. I dare you.

And now he’s doing better! He receives therapy, he has a loving sister and an attentive father and a caring boyfriend and other friends! He’s doing better. He’s healing. And as much as I love to throw pains at him over and over again in my fics, Nico is getting happier in canon. Rick didn’t abandon him.

Intelligence, especially in an emotional and spiritual sense

Nico talks to ghosts. And forgotten goddess. And makes friend with an amnesia Titan. He’s sensitive. He reaches out. He knows so much and he cares so much more.

His emotional world is an unlimited dreamscape.

And last but not least: The warmth and power of the rising sun

And who’s the sun, you might ask?

…

…All that time. So many books. And Rick had been hinting at Solangelo. all. that. time.

I can’t believe this. What am I supposed to react to this?

Of course, it could mean that Nico would finally find solace at the end of his painful journey, but I cannot help but focus too much on the fact that Will Solace is akchwkhdsjhs literally a ball of sunshine and they do end up together I don’t make the rule——??!!

Furthermore, the Dandelion does delivers positive message such as long lasting happiness and youthful joy or getting your wish fulfilled. I don’t know whether Rick really did mean it when he came up with the dandelion but, well, it’s nice to think that as a promise he gives to Nico, whom he makes such a great effort to torture.

And if I’d prefer to think that it’s Persephone’s subtle blessing then it’s my business.

In conclusion, it most likely wasn’t a careless choice when Rick went with a dandelion as one of those… physical literature metaphor (?) Nico has been. Maybe I over-analyze some (I always do anyway), but it’s still nice to find out that it’s such a fitting and beautiful thing to associate with my beloved angel.

(And it doesn’t help either when I headcanon Persephone has a sort-of tolerable stepmother-son relationship with Nico. I mean she could have chosen a dandelion as it’s such a trivia plant, yet still holds positive symbolism like Persephone tolerates Nico enough to wish him happiness, after all)

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hello-nichya-here · 5 months

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How much of the lies/rumors about MJ are due to the general public's insistence that he must be gay, and then their own homophobia about that idea?

Oh, a whole lot - and don't forget the sexism and racism, as they are a core part of it too (reminder to everyone that the "Wacko Jacko" nickname The Sun gave to him was comparing him to a monkey toy, something Michael was obviously mad about).

Long before the drastic changes to his looks, or the wild rumors, Michael was already seen as weird because he did not fit the stereotype of men in general (and black men in particular).

He was kind, nurturing, good with kids, emotional, shy, naive, and his biggest dream was being a parent - these are still largely seen as "female" traits today. Michael grew up in the sixties and seventies.

Even more "shocking", he was a black man that was not really aggressive, and not only was he not hypersexual, he was OPENLY voicing his discomfort with people prying into his business/insisting that, come on, he HAD to be into fucking groupies, strippers and hookers like most guys in the industry, right?

Add in him being a fashion icon and wearing a ton of make-up that gave him a bit of an androgynous look every now and then, and you have people CONVINCED he must be into men.

And once again, homophobes still think gay = pedo to this day. Michael was born in 1958. He was already the target of gay rumors, and treated like a big freak for it, before AIDS was a thing. Before "Don't ask, don't tell." Laws forbidding same-sex relationships between consenting adults had not been deemed inconstitutional in the USA until 2003.

It's crazy to me that plenty of so called "progressive" people today act are still willing to pretend there's any real evidence against him, not just because the freaking FBI was secretly investigating him for 13 years and found nothing, but because the so called "Red flags" in Michael's behavior was literally just a bunch lies to make a (supposedly) gay man look like a predator.

But there's still one more factor contribuiting to Michael being labeled as gay: people not understanding that men can be sexually abused AND be traumatized by it because "guys always want sex."

Before he had even reached ten years of age, Michael Jackson had to sing in strip clubs (and in his own words, see adults acting like animals), had to hear his brothers having sex with groupies in the same room he was in (and it wasn't uncommon for the girls to be treated horribly, which deeply upset him), had to deal with his father cheating on his mom in the next room, and during some performances, while interacting with the audience he was made to look under the skirts of adult women to play the role of "pervy kid" even after he repeatedly told everyone in the Jackson 5 team, including his father, that he DID NOT WANT TO DO THAT.

Seriously, IMAGINE if the roles were reversed and a bunch of adults were making a 7-year-old girl pulled down the pants of grown men to see their underwear/genitals as a "joke."

As Michael became a teenager, the situation only got worse, as all of the adults who never heard the word "boundaries" in their lives were bothered by the fact that Michael was not going around having sex with a bunch of women like brothers were, so they kept paying prostitutes go to "help him out". His older sister, Rebbie, said in an interview that a male relative of theirs paid two women to take the virginity of 15-year-old Michael and locked him a room with them against his will, hoping he'd just "give in." She did not say if the women actually managed to do anything with her brother.

Again, IMAGINE the reactions if an adult man locked a 15-year-old girl in a room with two adult men that were paid to have sex with her, despite both her age AND THE FACT THAT SHE ISN'T THERE WILLINGLY! People would rightfully be disturbed by it and if anything happened, it'd be considered abuse and the relative in question would be a proxy-rapist.

But Michael was a "man" (he was a freaking kid, my god) and "guys always want it", so him not being cool with this was seen as him being weird and a "faggot."

There's a reason bastards like Evan Chandler picked false accusations of pedophilia to extort Michael - they knew people didn't understand nor empathize with the real reason for Michael's "weirdness."

And sadly enough, things aren't much different now.

#asks #michael jackson #mj innocent #abuse #rape #racism #homophobia #sexism

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zurazakis · 1 month

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WAITTT i wanna hear abt the 3h or engage s/is if ud be willing to talk abt them !! - @dmclr

omg HI! !!! ! ! !! ! ! ! my sillies! okay i will put words under the cut teehee (trying to not pass out while typing)

unfortunate news this is gonna be a huge ramble that makes very little sense i'm a few paragraphs in & it's so... um.

so ! korn is. kornseide elfenbein eryn. note the last name. i like the multidimensional fuckery fire emblem likes to do here & there so this one's essentially a chrobin fankid that's been sent to the three houses universe as a child lmao. & he's a cat beast unit! which do not exist in three houses much to my chagrin, but this is my way of changing the facts. & no one can stop me. also yes this does imply in my version of events robin is a catboy. he's also transgender. but that's a whole other story for another time

korn was found & taken in by seteth upon landing in fodlan, like... very dramatic scenario of the terrified child running for his life from an unspecified threat & running into this guy who instantly becomes a father figure. not intentionally. seteth just suffers it bc this kid has Latched onto him hard & he has a good heart

he gets to travel a fair bit for enrichment as he grows & ends up meeting a fair few members of the cast during said travels, notably raphael (the #bestie!!!!), dorothea, ashe, & of course lorenz & claude. back at garreg mach he doesn't really get to associate with seteth too much publicly not bc seteth doesn't want people to know he adopted this kid but bc this kid did a 180° & now finds his dad whom he chose himself deeply embarrassing so he pretends he's just like... a kid who works there. hangs with the ashen wolves. finds deep kinship w constance. thinks hapi's the coolest fucking person to walk the planet. so on so forth.

back to the main topic. um! when we get to the point of the game he kind of. he doesn't enroll! he uh, can't really. seteth won't let flayn in & he certainly won't let him in either. it's fine though. he sneaks into classes constantly or pretexts really urgently needing to clean the classroom so he can listen in on what's going on & learn more about the history of the world, as well as like. combat theory. he can't really get into practice so he practices by begging raphael to fight him every so often & yes he gets his shit rocked everytime

basically he's a silly guy who makes friends pretty easily. he doesn't really think. he has no clue he's from another world. hapi gave him a beaststone once & neither of them realise that's what's making him transform into a big fuckoff kitty creature she just gave him an item that made her think of him. he also lies a lot & he does it horribly bc he's not good at lying & he doesn't like lying but he feels like he'll get in trouble if he doesn't so he does. one thing that's i have failed to mention thus far though is that he has a strong sense of right & wrong so he kinda gets harsher during the timeskip? he can still be silly & jokies & whatnot but he's also like... a lot less lenient & forgiving. very one track mind. needless to say there's a point in time where he can't help but be heavily upset with seteth

now delfin... beast unit 2! !!! admittedly i do not have a lot for him in the way of backstory aside from "yea he worked at firene castle most of his time alive" but he is so personality... something about my s/is is that they tend to be guyfailures which says a lot about Me. & yeah he is no exception. clumsy bastard man who hides a lot. he can be found cowering in horse stalls whenever he messes something up. saddest soggiest cat around

he's pretty good at handling manual labour all things considered & gets along great with the horses. he's generally pretty good with animals but horses just Get Him man. he definitely bonds with amber over their connection to animals, & thinks zelkov caring for children as much as he does is "way too cute". he wanted to be upset with hortensia for a bit when she joined the party but. he could not. lmao. yunaka & alear are such #thebestie characters for him, but louis is like. THE childhood friend. louis will peoplewatch while he's just sitting there loafing next to him glaring at everyone but actually he's zoned the hell out. chloe is like a little sister to him

he doesn't, really have much stakes in the plot aside from like, "oh this is bad we should stop it"? he's here to hang out & do his job & also yearn horribly. yunaka & louis have found him hiding in a barrel after he interacted with boucheron once.....

oh also do NOT give him an emblem ring he will treat it the way cats treat laser pointers & probably land himself in the pool with a miserable yowl

i . .. realise i have nearly entirely avoided elaborating on the selfship dynamics specifically . um . i know why (worried what i will come off as if i do that) & it's a shame but i am not fixing that .. yet

#asks #dmclr #femblemposting #selfship tag #<- new guy!!!!!#i Do want to elaborate on the selfship dynamics but i think they deserve their own posts.. maybe #i also didn't want this to get even longer #thank you for the ask i . ;; ireally need to get better at talking about my s/is & ocs & whatnot... this helps a lot

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outshinethestars · 2 years

Text

Allegiances (Vorkosigan saga)

Sequel to Da

“What is it, Miles?” Uncle Simon said, and Miles sighed and gave up on pretending to work on his math homework, or even pretending he needed Uncle Simon to help him with his homework in the first place.

“It just doesn’t seem fair,” Miles said, letting out the pent up frustration “That Ivan gets all your attention now, just ‘cause you married his Ma.”

“I see,” Uncle Simon said, “Would facts be helpful to you in this moment?”

That was one of Mama’s questions. She always made sure that Miles understood that no was a valid answer, although never a permanent one. Because sometimes people just feel feelings, and sometimes it isn’t helpful to smash those feelings with Betan logic.

Uncle Simon was even worse than Mama, though. Uncle Simon didn’t argue, he just provided you with raw data, so that it wasn’t even that he proved you wrong, you just were wrong.

“Sure, I guess,” Miles said.

“Well,” Uncle Simon said, “In the three months since I married Alys, I have spent a little over twenty three hours in your company, that’s approximately 3.57 hours more than the exact same span of time last year.”

Yeah. Like that.

“Oh,” Miles said, “It’s not fair that you just know that sort of thing.”

“Perhaps not,” Uncle Simon said, “But in light of this information, what are you really upset about?”

Miles thought about it. He tried to be logical and objective while examining his feelings, as if he could quantify them and scrutinize them under a microscope, not ignoring them or getting caught up in them either, just the way Mama tried to teach him. It wasn’t easy.

“I guess it doesn’t seem fair that Ivan gets to have everything . He gets to have so much and I- I’m stuck like this. I don’t know, I’m not making sense.”

“So, you think that because Ivan was born strong and healthy, he doesn’t deserve to have a father who loves and looks after him?” Uncle Simon said, calm and utterly ruthless.

“Well,” Miles said, “When you put it like that.”

“I know change is hard, Miles,” Uncle Simon says, “But this doesn’t really change anything. I’ll still be here whenever you need me.”

“I know,” Miles said, and he did, really. But he still felt certain that he had lost something in all of this, something real and significant, but frustratingly nebulous.

“The thing is,” Miles said slowly, “it’s your job to look after us, right? And if Ivan and Gregor and me were all in danger and you could only save one of us, you’d save Gregor, obviously because he’s the emperor. But before now, you would save me before Ivan, because you’re Da’s - because Da holds your loyalty. But now, Ivan is your family, and that makes him your priority.”

“Ah,” Uncle Simon said, “I see, and I apologize, Miles. I had not thought of it in that light, and you are quite correct. Something has shifted, albeit something which is not practicably observable.”

“You’re not sorry you married Ivan’s ma, though, because you love her,” that was what Mama said, anyways. Miles found the concept of Uncle Simon loving anyone hard to wrap his mind around, “So you’ve wanted to put Ivan first this whole time, you just haven’t because of duty.”

“You understand, don’t you,” Uncle Simon said, “That it isn’t a matter of caring for one of you over the other. I care about both of you deeply.”

“I know,” Miles said. It wasn’t about caring, or liking, or the word they were too Barrayarans to come out and say, loving. It was about loyalty and chains of responsibility. They were having a very frank and Betan sort of conversation about things that were fundamentally Barrayaran, so it stood to reason that things could get a little tangled. “But you are Ivan’s Da.”

“I am.”

And Da meant more than Uncle ever would.

“I am sorry,” Uncle Simon said, “I don’t regret it, but I’m sorry I didn’t think.”

“It’s alright,” Miles said, and realized that it was. Talking it out had helped, putting his finger on exactly what it was that had made him feel passed over and abandoned. Having it all laid out in front of him like this, he realized he didn’t mind so much if Ivan got to have Uncle Simon as his own in a way that Miles didn’t. “You’re right, about Ivan deserving to have a da. I’ve got Da and Grandda, and Bothari and you, and all Ivan’s ever had is you, and of course you’ve always been busy with other things. I never really thought about it before, but I guess it’s fair, if Ivan gets to have you all to himself, since you’re all he’s got.”

“I would hardly say that Ivan has me all to himself,” Uncle Simon said with one of those small smiles of his.

“True,” Miles said, brightening, “Twenty three hours, you said? If I guilt trip you hard enough, d’you think we could make it to an even thirty?”

Uncle Simon laughed.

#vorkosigan saga #miles vorkosigan #simon illyan #fic and fic-like things #my stuff

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depressedhatakekakashi · 2 years

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// Okay, so imagine Kakashi going through that waterfall test where his dark self confronts him and imagine how much that would mess up Kakashi? I just shared this thought with friends and I wanted to share it with you too!

Ok I've thought about this a few times but never tried to put it into a post so thank you for this opportunity!

So first we have the main issue. Kakashi's internal struggles with himself and his own emotions about his life have happened. Of course, I think this would stick a cord with him and have him reevaluate his life and blame himself (as always) for things that weren't his fault. but this is also an issue that weighs on Kakashi every day. Something he's always thinking of.

It wouldn't catch him off guard, and I don't think it would hit him too deeply because he's used to thinking. Kakashi blames himself for Obito and Rin's deaths, and part of him probably holds the blame for Minato even though he had no control over that (you can see it when Danzo approaches him and specifically blames hiruzen for keeping Kakashi away from the fight where he could have helped his sensei. In order to get what he want Danzo put a little blame on Kakashi for Minato's death, and that hit Kakashi)

Hatake Kakashi would agree with his dark self that he's to blame. it blames he unjustly carried with himself at all times and uses in order to push himself forward and try to do better.

Now, what would really hit Kakashi is the anger towards his father and the village.

The anger Kakashi never addresses'. Never allowed himself to feel or think about it. That would really hit deep. It's valid anger too.

Anger towards the man he idolized as a kid, who left him when he was still young and vulnerable. Kakashi never seemingly dealt with the fact that as a kid he was angry with his father, and that this was justified anger. Kakashi was a child left behind with no one to care for him and he goes from wanting to be the exact opposite of his father, to just accepting his fathers choice and being proud of him. there's no satisfying progression of his emotions. He hears Obito call his dad a hero and say e was right and that's seemingly all it takes. everything's alright after that

but deep down i think Kakashi was still angry with Sakumo, he just ignored it. pretended it wasn't the case, and to be faced with that anger again would throw him off. It's not something he's expecting to be face to face with ever again.

but his anger with his village? with the people who bad mouthed his father, called him cruel names and insulted him until he felt his only option was to take his own life and leave his five year old son alone? that burning rage he never addresses at how the elders and the village treat him growing up. How he's nothing more than a weapon.

Kakashi has always accepted his role as a pawn of the state. the village broke him young so he felt he had no other path. no other place to go. he acts like he's not angry because what else can he do? He can be a pawn to the village, his life meaningless in the grand scheme of things, or he can turn his back on his home and his friends and be a rogue

he won't turn his back on his friends, so he accepts being a pawn and moved on

I think Kakashi doesn't realize how much anger he can hold towards the village. how upset he is with the people who cost him his father, his friends, his sensei and just continued to ask for more. those deaths weren't enough and bodies just kept pilling up, and Kakashi felt alone in trying to save people. in attempting ton keep people alive

he never address' this anger, so to find himself face to face with it would be a rather big deal for him. that being said, i don't think Kakashi would do anything with it

he has long ago accepted his role in the world. he has pushed aside his anger in favour of protecting his precious people, because that's all he feels he has the power to do. He's not a god level shinobi. he can't change the world by himself, but he can try to add some good to it and that's better than nothing

so in the face of all of that anger. all of that carefully hidden, controlled rage, Kakashi would smile and say "I know, but i won't succumb to this."

Because at the endof the day Hatake Kakashi does not serve himself. he never has

Kakashi serves his friends and his village, and even when those things don't deserve his kindness and protection he continues to give it. because he doesn't know what else he has to give to the world.

#Hatake Kakashi

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newtonsheffield · 2 years

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Could we get a snippet of Kate jumping Anthony for his dad bod in Simmering?? I can just feel his brothers teasing him and Kate biting back then jumping Anthony in the car home

I just deeply feel like Anthony's muscles would soften just a little, because he's not spending two hours at the gym everyday anymore, and Kate is also feeding him well. He can't stay away from her cooking.

And Kate is thriving on it, but Anthony's brother's can be dicks.

Kate had noticed it, of course she had. She'd noticed the way his muscles against her were a little softer, the weight of him against her a little heavier pushing her back into the mattress, and she really didn't care. She'd been wildly attracted to Anthony from the very first moment she'd seen him, even as that teenage girl who'd shyly flirted with him as a waiter while her father muttered christ! under his breath. And a few extra kilos wasn't going to change that. In fact, every time she looked at him now she felt a burning need.

Something desperately primal in the fact that this Anthony was hers in a way he'd never been anyone else's. He was happy and satisfied and content because of her. And even now, looking at him across his mother's sitting room, the slight softness of him evident through the sweater she'd bought him, her cheeks were burning.

They were laughing about something, Ben and Colin, nudging Anthony in the ribs who looked a little... upset. Kate felt her skin prickle alertly, clearing her throat as she turned away from Sophie a little abruptly, making her way across the room just in time to hear Colin chuckle

"Ooof he caught himself a Kate and he's let himself go. Careful Mate she might-"

"She might not go fucking anywhere." Kate snapped, irritation rising in her chest as she caught Anthony's hand, even as he tried to tug it back, she forced the back of her left hand into the palm of him, letting him feel the ring he'd put there months ago now.

"Kate, 's fine." Anthony mumbled, still staring at the ground, his ears bright red, and something desperately protective flared inside her again as she called out.

"Violet, I'm really sorry, Anthony and I have to take off." before she turned back to Colin, eyebrows raised. "Say goodbye to your girlfriend for us, Colin."

He looked back at her nonplussed, something flashing in his eyes making it even more delicious, when she snatched his right hand out of the air and gave it a pointed See you next time. Before she tugged Anthony from the house.

He wouldn't even look at her, just kept his eyes on the road in front of him as he made his way through the streets back to their house, his fingers inching away from her when she tired to intertwine them, tugging his hand into her lap like she always did.

"Just pull in here for a second." Kate hummed gesturing to the practically abandoned Tesco carpark.

Anthony grunted, "You need something?"

"Yep." Kate tried her best the pretend she wasn't already burning. "Park at the back."

"What? Why?"

"Anthony just park at the back."

As soon as the Car pulled to a stop Kate had unclipped her seatbelt practically scrambled over the centre console and straddled him.

Before Anthony could do more than stare up at her, blinking in surprise she's crashed her lips against his, claiming him as hers while heat built between them, her tongue swiping filthily against his, hips starting their slow grind as her lips slipped to his neck and-

"Kate, you don't have to do this."

She froze, her head darting up at the resigned sound in his voice, so tiny. "What am I doing?"

"You're trying to make me feel better about myself by pretending you want me." He couldn't even look at her.

It tugged at her chest, her eyes flicking over his face, fingers smoothing at his beard, and all she could do was sigh as she caught his hand from her waist tugging on it gently as she popped the button on her jeans.

"Kate- Oh Fuck!" He'd started to protest but the second his fingers had slid against the heat of her he'd stopped, his head lolling backwards against the carseat. Her voice was so dangerously low she barely recognised it.

"I'm not pretending, Anthony." She ground her hips slowly against his hand swallowing his desperate noises with her lips, her tongue stealing them from his mouth. "I have never been more attracted to you than I am at the moment, and I'm going to show you."

Her hands tugged at his sweater, a satisfied hum breaking free from her chest as she felt the hair on his own under her fingertips, delighting in the softness of him.

She could feel herself burning, Anthony's eyes were doing a fine job themselves, tracing over her skin, setting her alight as his hand settled more firmly on her waist, guiding her against his other hand, his confidence slowly returning to him, that same cocky smirk that had left her weak at the knees the first time she'd seen it back on his lips as his hand moved over her, just the way she always wanted him. She always wanted His presence to be undeniable, wanted the thick bands of muscle on his arms to pin her down, hold her in place until she felt safe and warm and satisfied, wanted to feel his beard scraping at her chest, at her thighs, wanted to be able to smell the sweat on his skin, feel him hot under her hands.

She was so close already, could feel it building in her, feel her muscles tightening everywhere, could feel the breathless ness all around her as the car windows fogged, and tension snapped and crackled between them and-

"No!" Anthony froze immediately at the sound of her voice desperate and needy. "I want you."

Something burned in Anthony's eyes as he kept her hips cantering forward while she fumbled at his belt. "If you don't want to cum until you've had me, then don't."

She couldn't stop the whine that built in her throat, leaving her raw. Their eyes caught together as he finally, mercifully removed his hand and-

Oh fuck Babe.

She wasn't sure which one of them said it as their hips snapped together. Him, her, maybe both of them, as her forehead fell to his, their noses pressed together, the car echoing with the sounds of their bodies moving desperately together, tongues tangling, lips and teeth clashing, Anthony's hands digging into her waist as she raced towards the finish, her entire body tense and-

Fuck Anthony!

Everything shattered with a sharp shout, shuddering against him, but Anthony's jaw was set, his hips moving powerfully, his arms huge around her and she just fucking wanted.

"Get in the back." Her voice was breathless as she scrambled off him, slipping through into the back seat, ignoring Anthony's whine, his movements a little sluggish as her hands darted out to tug him through, positioning him behind her, and before she was even ready his hips had started their punishing pace again.

That was one of the best things about their relationship, always had been, even when they'd pretended it was just casual: They were on the same page with just a few words. A quick Just like that and her eyes rolled back in her head.

Oh my god, Holy- Anthony Fuck that's so good, just like that babe.

Kate's knuckles were white on the door in front of her, Anthony's hands covering hers, huge and strong, his voice racking in her ear

I love you so much much Kate, fuck, look at you, you're incredible, so incredible, fuck babe fuck-

And it was too overwhelming, her vision blurred at the edges, and a raw scream ripped through her throat as she fell again, Anthony's hips bucking erratically for several long moments, before he tumbled as well with a sharp Kate! and everything went still.

"Holy Fuck!" Anthony's voice was breathless as he flopped back against the back seat, his face shining with exertion, grinning like an excited teenager, the same one who'd flirted with her all those years ago. "You're the best fucking fiancée ever, you know that right?"

Kate hummed, brushing their lips together gently, "I have some idea yeah."

"I'm gonna like, I gonna start working out, I'll be the person you deserve again, I promise I just... I'm happy with you and-"

Kate tilted his chin back up to meet her eyes, her voice firm even in its breathlessness, "The person I deserve is right here. So's the person I fell in love with, do you understand me?" She waited for him to nod lightly before she kissed his nose, "Besides, you're like a warm little teddy and everyone can see I look after you. I love it, so of you want to do this for you, great. If not, don't do it for me. I'm gonna love you no matter what."

And the next time when Colin nudged Anthony about eating a second serve of the dinner she'd made, Anthony looked him dead in the eye and scooped even more out.

#simmering au #spicy sunday🌶#kathony #anthony x kate #kate sharma #kate sheffield #anthony bridgerton #molly’s asks and answers

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queenshelby · 3 years

Text

MY BROTHERS FRIEND (PART THREE)

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x Reader

Warning: Smut, Angst, Mention of Attempted Rape, Blood, Violence

Words: 5230

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Pantry Time

It has been two weeks since you agreed to marry Joseph Kruger, just as Tommy had requested, and today was the day of your engagement party.

You had only met Joseph once and you were fairly certain that he was not interested in marrying you just as you weren’t interested in marrying him. In fact, you didn’t believe that he was interested in women at all. He was attractive and had good manners. There was no reason for him not to be married already at his age.

His four brothers on the other hand were savages. You had encounters with them before and you could understand why Tommy wouldn’t trust them.

You still were unsure what Tommy’s plan was but, for some reason, you trusted him and played a long.

As such, you attended the engagement party willingly and with a smile across your face. The smile wasn’t because of the marriage proposal, but because you knew that you would see Tommy again. It has been a week since you last seen him and had a chance to be intimate with him.

There was no denying it, you were falling for him and it was painfully sweet. There was no future for you and him, but yet you tried to deny this fact and dreamed about being with him, one day.

Your father didn’t know about your involvement with Tommy. He certainly wouldn’t approve.

Arthur walked in on you once, but kept the secret. Lizzie and Polly had their suspicions, but no more than that.

‘You look beautiful Y/N’ Tommy said quietly as he approached you from behind with a smile across his face.

‘Good Evening Tommy’ you said, equally happy to see him.

Tommy was joined by his sister Ada and took the time to engage into some conversation with you as you were getting to know Joseph Kruger.

You played the game well, getting to know all of Joseph’s family and pretending to show a genuine interest in him.

Even Tommy was impressed by your skills of deception.

After your initial encounter with Tommy that evening, you didn’t see much of him and were rather disappointed until, finally, he asked you to dance after the jazz band began to play.

‘I missed you’ he whispered as he was leading you to the dancefloor.

‘I missed you too Tommy’ you whispered in return, following his lead.

You were terrible at dancing and Tommy was well aware of that. You tried hard to maintain a conversation with Tommy without falling over your own two feet.

‘Come with me’ Tommy said with a chuckle about your efforts to not injure yourself.

‘Tommy, we cannot be seen together. You know that’ you said with a slight worry.

‘They are all drunk and dancing, no one will notice us gone’ Tommy smirked as he took your hand and you followed him through the crowd.

He walked with you up the corridor towards a room at the end of the hallway.

Tommy opened the door of the mysterious room and swiftly pushed you inside before closing the door behind him.

Within seconds, Tommy’s hand reaches behind your head and he pulled you to him for a passionate kiss.

‘Tommy, this is the pantry’ you said as you took a quick breath.

‘And? Food has been served. No one will come looking in here’ Tommy smirked before leaning in for another desperate kiss.

‘Did I already tell you that I missed you’ he whispered as his hands made their way over your breasts.

‘You did’ you said, biting your lip and running your hand in between his leg over his already hard cock, poking beneath his pants.

‘Good’ he said just before you exchanged one more passionate and urgent kiss before you turned around and Tommy bent you over the small table inside the pantry.

You both wished that you had more time but you were certain that people would be looking for the bride to be any time soon.

Tommy stood behind you, lifted up your dress and pulled down your panties. He undid his belt, button and fly and pushed his pants and underwear down halfway to his knees, freeing his engorged arousal.

Crouching a little, he placed the head of his cock against the hottest spot underneath your naked bum. He lifted upwards and he could feel your treasure open up and slowly absorb the top two inches of his hard cock.

‘Hmm Tommy’ you moaned quietly as he grabbed your soft hips.

Tommy pushed himself up inside you. Inch after inch invaded your intense heat and with one final and hard push he was inside of you all the way. An inferno engulfed him, squeezing around his entire length.

‘Oh god Tommy’ you moaned, closing your eyes and arching your head back.

‘You feel so fucking good’ Tommy groaned as he kissed the back of your neck.

Holding your hips, he began sliding in and out of you from behind, his groin gently slapping against your ass.

His thrusts soon became harder and faster and you loved the feeling of his hard member poking against the depths of your core again and again.

As he was increasing his speed, Tommy ran his hands over your soft belly, holding the flesh for a moment as he slid into her heat over and over.

He then slid his hands further up your body and cupped your breasts over your dress while kissing the skin on the back of your neck. He wanted to kiss your mouth -- badly.

He pulled his cock out of you and you quickly spun around before stepping out of your panties.

Tommy lifted up your dress before lifting up one of your legs and leaning your back against the table.

Tommy kissed you passionately as you ran your hand over his cheek. Then he entered you again and you both watched intently as he placed the head of his cock against your entrance.

‘Fuck’ Tommy moaned as he watched you open up for him and allow his hard cock to squeeze inside of you, inch by inch.

Your heat slowly embraced him, welcoming him. He thrust forward, jamming his entire manhood inside of you.

Holding himself against you, Tommy looked down at your beautiful face as he began thrusting in and out of you.

Tommy slipped his arms around your back and you stopped leaning back on your elbows and put your arms around his neck. Breathing heavily, your eyes mere slits as you were in ecstasy, your lips found his and you kissed him deeply.

Your tongue shot into his mouth hungrily as he continued to thrust into you deeply.

Tommy then sent his own tongue deep into your mouth, thrusting in and out of you even faster. Your tightness pulled at him, coaxing him.

Tommy continued to thrust up into you as hard as he could a few more times, kissing you equally as hard.

‘Tommy, don’t stop’ you moaned loudly, feeling your orgasm approaching.

Your walls clenched around him and Tommy could feel his engorged shaft pulsing.

Just as you let out another loud moan as your orgasm washed over you and your body began to shake, Tommy released. His sticky rope of hot cum shot out the end of his manhood and into your hungry treasure.

You could feel the warmth inside of you as you exchanged a passionate kiss while you both were coming down from your high.

‘I fucking missed this’ Tommy said as he pulled out of you carefully.

‘As did I’ you smiled as you pulled your panties up beneath your dress.

‘But we better get back to the party’ you said as you fixed up your hair.

‘I am sure your father is ready and waiting to make a speech’ Tommy said before giving you another kiss, causing you to smile. There was some sudden awkwardness between you.

You both straightened yourself up and you opened the pantry door carefully.

Just as Tommy opened the door, Finn approached.

‘Finn’ Tommy said surprised just as Finn barged inside. He must have stood there for a while and listened to your sweet moans.

‘It’s not what it looks like Finn’ Tommy said just as you were speechless, starring at them both.

‘Oh yeah? Isn’t it?’ Finn said angrily. ‘Out of all women in this town Tommy… you are my fucking brother’ Finn added.

‘Finn, listen to me…’ Tommy said as Finn walked off.

Tommy followed Finn while you had to return to the party so that you wouldn’t raise any suspicions.

After you joined your father and Joseph for a thank you speech, you hadn’t had another chance to speak to Tommy or Finn and were worried about if and how Tommy managed to resolve the issue.

Trouble Ahead

Without the air having been cleared between Tommy and Finn and Tommy largely ignoring Finn’s feelings, Tommy called a meeting between the brothers and Uncle Charlie, without the presence of Polly.

With his plan, he went behind Polly’s back and he needed man power to take over the Kruger’s family business. As one would expect, he trusted his brothers to keep his plan a secret from others.

The meeting took place at Uncle Charlie’s junk yard and went on for about an hour. Arthur was in favour of Tommy’s plan while Finn and Uncle Charlie considered the plan to be too dangerous. Nonetheless, they agreed to follow Tommy’s orders.

After his meeting with Tommy, Arthur and Uncle Charlie, Finn downed his anger with Whiskey and cocaine at the Garrison where, later that evening, he met a young woman named Esmeralda.

With ignorance and naiveness, he confided in Esmeralda. He told her what happened between you and his brother Thomas and how upset he was about it. He considered you to be the love of his life which Tommy has now taken away from him.

Finn also told Esmeralda about Tommy’s plan. Finn was of the view that Tommy was using you for his own advantage, ignoring the fact that Finn had strong feelings for you.

Little did Finn know that Esmeralda knew the Kruger Family and that, soon, word would come to Manual Kruger, Joseph’s father.

And, as it happened, after Esmeralda comforted Finn for the night, she arranged a meeting with Manuel Kruger and his brother.

During this meeting, Esmeralda explained that Tommy was liaising with Joseph in order to take over the Kruger’s Family Business, making Joseph an acquaintance of the Peaky Blinders.

What you and Finn didn’t know was that Joseph Kruger despised his father and uncle and had been gathering men for two years now to work against them. But Esmeralda was very well aware of the situation and so was Tommy.

For many years, Joseph had been discriminated against by his own father and uncle because of his sexual orientation. He was excluded from family dealings and his brothers worked against him. However, neither of them realised that Joseph did, in fact, have strong ties to certain night club owners in London which was perfect for the distribution of narcotics.

Of course, Tommy saw the potential in this. It was a win win situation for him to help Joseph to take out his father, uncle and brothers and work with him to distribute cocaine throughout London’s nightclubs. In addition, the need for marriage between your family and the Kruger family would be diminished.

It was clear to Esmeralda that this information would create a war between the Shelby family and the Kruger family and this was exactly what she wanted to achieve.

She had a vested interest in seeing the Shelbys lose their fortune. After all, it was Arthur Shelby who killed her brother in a boxing match several years ago. What she wanted was revenge. But of course, Finn didn’t know that, nor did he know that he had put your life in danger when he told Esmeralda about your romantic involvement with his brother and his brother’s plan.

Later that evening, unbeknownst to you, you were to realise how dire this situation had become. The Kruger family was determined to send a message to both, your father and Tommy.

That evening, just as you said goodbye to Tommy and walked out of the office building, you noticed both lights on the street were broken.

This was unusual but you didn’t think anything about it until you also noticed a blood-stained hat on the pavement outside.

‘Karl?’ you spoke loudly. Karl was the man who normally drove you home and, usually, he would already been waiting for you at the front door.

You walked around the corner, following the stains on the pavement.

‘Karl?’ you asked again until, all of a sudden, you stumbled over something. As you looked down, you noticed Karl’s dead body, blood running from his head and chest.

‘Oh my god’ you said, shivers running over your back as you stepped backwards until, all of a sudden, you were grabbed by a man from behind.

‘Shh Love’ the man laughed as he covered your mouth while you tried to escape his strong hold on you.

‘Miss Gold, what a lovely surprise’ another man said as, all of a sudden, a total of three more men approached you from each corner of the street.

‘We know about your man’s plan Love’ the attacker then went onto say as he stood right in front of you, running his dirty hands over your blouse.

You tried hard to escape and reach for your gun in your bag, but the men held onto you tightly.

‘I think it’s time for us to send him and your father a little message’ one of the men said just as he ripped open your blouse.

By that time tears were running down your face and you tried to kick your legs up in protest.

‘You know Love, we will all take our turn and it will be over quick if you hold still, yeah?’ he went on to say just as you leaped out and kicked him into his crotch with your heels.

‘You fucking bitch’ he yelled as he reached for your skirt. In this moment you took your chance and bit harshly into the hand of the man who was restraining you while continuing to kick your legs forward.

‘Tommy’ you yelled loudly as your mouth was freed for a brief second, knowing that he was still in the office.

But, the men wouldn’t back off and began to further tare on your clothes while holding you back down, letting you scream for help.

‘No one is coming Love’ one of the men said as he began kissing your neck.

Just as you felt the man’s tongue run over your ear and heard him unbuckling his belt, you heard a shot.

‘Get the fuck off her’ Tommy yelled harshly, firing again.

The next thing you saw was blood streaming down the pavement. One of the men had been shot into his knee. It was dark and difficult for Tommy to aim.

With a limited view, Tommy approached the attackers while they briefly halted their assault on you.

‘Mr Shelby, nice of you to join us. You can watch while we fuck your little girlfriend’ one of the men said as, suddenly, Tommy could feel a knife against his neck from one of the other men.

With one of the men on the ground and the other keeping Tommy at bay, the other two proceeded with their plan as they tore apart your skirt, leaving your underwear exposed to them.

‘Now Love, we will continue where we left of and your boyfriend gets to watch us’ the man said as he pulled down his pants.

You continued to scream in protest as the man was trying to push down your panties.

Just as he grabbed hold of the hem, you heard a loud scream coming from the man standing behind Tommy.

As you looked over, you observed Tommy slamming a large and sharp piece of metal from the floor besides him into the man’s throat.

You took this opportunity to reach for your gun in your purse and, within a split second, you shot the man who, at this point, still had hold of your panties.

This allowed you to free yourself but, as you stepped backwards, you fell down to the floor. You had never shot someone before and were in shock, trembling at the sight of the dead man in front of you.

By the time you collected your thoughts, Tommy had already shot the other man who attacked you. It was almost like an execution, without mercy. Tommy’s face expressionless.

Tommy decided not to kill the fourth man but, instead, shot him into his other knee so that he couldn’t run away. He was to be questioned and then used to send a message to the Kruger Family.

‘Are you alright?’ Tommy asked as he raced over to you and placed his jacket around your half naked body.

You nodded while you were shivering and crying and your heart was pounding.

‘You are safe now’ Tommy said as he took you into his arms.

His white shirt was stained with blood and he had a large cut on his neck that would soon need some attention. But for now, he just wanted to comfort you.

With the man screaming in pain across the pavement, it wasn’t long for police to arrive.

Tommy didn’t leave your side as police assessed the scene.

‘What would you like us to do with this one Mr Shelby?’ the policeman asked after he instructed his other men to clean up the scene.

‘Take him to 5 Birmingham Avenue and chain him up. I will deal with him later’ Tommy said, causing the policeman to nod while Tommy helped you up from the pavement.

‘Common, let’s get you cleaned up ey?’ Tommy said as he walked you to his car, covering as much of your naked flesh as he could with his jacket.

Tommy helped you inside of his Bentley, which is when you noticed his wound. It was draining a lot of blood down his neck.

‘Tommy, you are hurt’ you said, looking at him concerned.

‘It’s just a scratch Y/N’ Tommy smirked as placed some pressure onto his open wound before driving off.

You didn’t know where he was taking you until he pulled up in front of a large house.

Love and Desire

‘Where are we?’ you asked.

‘My house. You will be safe here’ Tommy said as he parked the car.

Two maids were waiting for you as you walked inside the house. They must have seen the car pull up.

‘Mr Shelby, are you alright?’ Francis asked concerned.

‘Yes Francis. Could you please look after Ms Gold for me while I make a phone call?’ Tommy asked while he continued to press onto his wound firmly with his hands.

‘Yes Mr Shelby, of course. Shall I arrange a bath?’ Francis asked as you were clearly covered in mud and dirt.

‘Yes please. And some clean clothes and whatever else she needs’ Tommy said.

‘I do not think that we have clothes other than…’ Francis said and, before she could finish her sentence, Tommy interrupted her.

‘My wife’s clothes should fit her’ Tommy said.

‘Of course, Mr Shelby’ Francis responded before she helped you upstairs.

Francis ran a bath for you before she helped you undress and get rid of your dirty clothes.

She was kind and welcoming, almost like a mother.

As you then finally sank into the bath you could feel your bruised skin burn. Your legs hurt terribly and small cuts were covering your arms and knees.

Francis gave you some privacy at this point. But she had also given you three nightgowns to choose from before she left and prepared the guestroom for you.

You soaked in the bath for at least 20 minutes and scrubbed your skin. You felt disgusted and embarrassed.

When you stepped out of the bath, you dried yourself off with the soft white towel that Francis had given you before putting on one of the nightgowns. It was white, made out of soft and shiny satin. It covered some of your bruises but not all.

As you walked outside the bathroom, you could hear grunts coming from the kitchen.

You followed the noises to see Tommy being held down onto the kitchen table by Arthur and Finn while a nurse was using tweezers to remove fragments of gravel from the wound on his neck.

Tommy glanced over to you briefly before indicating to one of the maids that he wanted you to leave.

‘Can’t it just be stitched up?’ you asked, causing the maid to shake her head before asking you to follow her.

‘The wound has to be cleaned out, its quite deep’ the maid said as she showed you to your room.

You sat down on the bed in your room but couldn’t help it but worry about Tommy. All that you could hear from your otherwise quiet room were the occasional grunts. He was clearly in pain.

Then, after about ten minutes, there was dead silence and you became even more concerned and worried.

Finally, after 20 minutes, you heard a knock on the door.

‘Come in’ you said.

You were relieved to see Tommy when he opened the door.

You were quick to get off the bed and walk over to him, pressing your lips onto his in a haste.

He had been stitched up and his wound was covered by a large gauze.

Tommy didn’t say anything after the kiss but simply looked at you wearing Grace’s nightgown.

It was almost like he was assessing you and all of the small bruises and cuts that covered your body.

His hands then caressed your face before he kissed you again.

Silence. There was nothing but silence and kisses.

After about ten minutes of this, Tommy caressed your face again and looked into your eyes.

‘I am sorry this happened to you’ Tommy said.

‘It’s not your fault Tommy’ you responded.

‘You will stay here for a while until I sort this out, alright? You will be safe here and no one will ever hurt you again like this, I promise.’ Tommy said.

‘Alright Tommy’ you said as your hands ran over his bare chest. You wanted to tell him what you were feeling for him in that moment but couldn’t bring it over your lips.

At this point you pulled him onto the bed with you, kissing him gently, before reaching in between his legs.

‘Not tonight Y/N’ Tommy said as he could feel his hand run over his crotch.

‘Tommy, please, I need you’ you said, knowing how good it always makes you feel.

Tommy chuckled at your comment and nodded before leaning over you another kiss.

‘Alright’ he said, before he slowly removed your nightgown. It wasn’t long before his hands were touching you everywhere, lingering on your breasts, tracing the sharp curves of your hips.

Tommy’s lips followed his hands, planting gentle kisses against every inch of your bruised skin. His head moved back up to your chest and his full lips closed over the tips of first one breast and then the other. He began sucking your nipples gently, causing you to moan loudly.

‘Tell me if I'm hurting you’ he murmured as his hand reached down between your legs where most of your bruises had surfaced.

You nodded, breathless. You reached for his belt but your hands were shaking so much that you couldn't even maneuver the clasp. You were still wound up by what had happened that night.

Tommy eased your hands away and took over. In no more than ten seconds, he was as completely naked as were you.

He embraced you, holding you tightly against his chest. You ran your fingers up and down the length of his back, scraping your short nails against his smooth skin.

Tommy shifted his position and began suckling at your breasts once more. A moan of pleasure escaped your lips. You could feel his hard member pressing against your thigh. And you could feel moisture seeping out from between your legs.

Tommy reached between your thighs, parted them gently, and slowly swirled two fingers around your wet vaginal lips.

Tommy removed his fingers. His body slithered down the length of yours. He took hold of your hips, placed his mouth between your legs and nibbled at your sensitive flesh. Then the tip of his tongue began flicking against your clit, tracing circles around the hardened nub.

‘Oh god, Tommy’ you cried as you grabbed hold of his muscular shoulders as the shivers and shudders of an approaching orgasm wracked at your weak body.

The arching of your back was sending bolts of pain shooting down your spine. But you didn't care. Pain and pleasure were colliding and you chose the pleasure.

‘Don’t stop Tommy’ you urged him, tangling your fingers in his hair.

Tommy pressed his mouth to your wet entrance once again and used his tongue to toy with your clit some more.

‘Oh god yes’ you moaned as your orgasm was consuming you, fast and hard.

Tommy crawled up the length of your body and held you tightly as you lost all control. You were shaking and moaning. You grabbed onto him for dear life until the final shudder released you from the joint grasp of ecstasy and agony.

He kissed her hungrily, devouring your lips with his own. You could taste your own juices as you returned his kiss with every ounce of passion you possessed.

Though satiated and struggling with the pain, you parted your legs again and reached down to guide Tommy’s hard cock into your soaking wet pussy. Tommy groaned immediately. He propped himself up on his hands and began pushing into you gently.

‘It's okay’ you whispered as Tommy looked at you as if he was seeking approval.

‘Push harder’ you moaned, giving your body to him.

Tommy accepted your invitation and began thrusting into you more forcefully. He lowered his head to kiss you as he was pumping into you with increased speed and force.

The tip of his cock was grazing against your sweet spot as he thrusted into you and you felt another climax approaching.

At the same time, you also felt Tommy’s body begin to tremble with his own approaching release.

‘Oh god Tommy’ you moaned as your orgasm washed over you.

At the same time, guttural groans escaped his throat and, with one final convulsive thrust, he erupted inside of you, flooding you with a rush of hot cum.

After you both came down from your high, Tommy rolled away from you and collapsed next to you.

He took you into his arms and held you against his body as, all of a sudden, Arthur barged through the door.

‘Fucking hell Arthur’ Tommy said just as you covered your bare breasts with the sheets.

‘Abraham Gold is here’ Arthur said, trying hard to look away from you.

‘I thought Finn was full of shit when he told me that you two were still fucking’ Arthur said as you quickly reached for your nightgown and Tommy put on his pants.

‘This stays between us’ Tommy instructed as he walked out of your room and downstairs.

‘Mr Gold’ Tommy said, greeting your father.

‘Where is my daughter’ Abrahama asked.

‘Upstairs, having a rest’ Tommy responded, causing Finn to sigh and Arthur to laugh.

You made your way downstairs after five minutes to greet your father before Tommy took him into his office to discuss the matter.

All you could hear from outside Tommy’s offices were arguments and yelling.

Your father didn’t know about your involvement with Tommy but soon learned about his plan. In your father’s opinion, Tommy was going behind his back and put your life at risk for financial gain and had now created a war with the Kruger family, especially after killing three of Manuel Kruger’s five sons.

‘These were men you wanted to be in business with, ey? Men who tried to force themselves on your daughter’ Tommy said angrily as your father stormed out of his office.

‘Carful Mr Shelby’ your father yelled before telling Tommy that it would have never come that far if he wouldn’t had interfered with the arrangement.

Your father took a hold of your hand told you to get into the car as he left Tommy’s office, the yelling continuing.

‘Mr Gold, it’s not safe’ Tommy tried to argue while your father forced you to leave with him.

‘My daughter’s safety is not your concern Mr Shelby’ Abrahama said and you had no choice but to follow him back to the commune.

You spent the next few days there, not being allowed to work or go on with your usual activities. You knew that your father regularly talked to Tommy. He had no choice but to work with him now after all this. But, you had no idea where things were heading from here on and you knew that Tommy’s actions made your father despise him.

Finally, five days later, your father arranged another meeting with Tommy and Arthur at the factory to which you were invited. It was Tommy who insisted that you were part of this meeting and gain an understanding of the plan. Tommy argued that this was for your own safety.

You appreciated Tommy’s efforts to have you included but, that particular morning, you could have very well stayed in bed.

You have been unwell for two days now and didn’t want to see Tommy looking the way you did.

You forced yourself to put on a nice dress and some make up before joining your father and brother in the car.

Just as you arrived at the factory building, you barged out of the car and towards the lavatory.

‘Excuse me’ you said as you stormed into the men’s lavatory on the ground floor. There was no female lavatory in close proximity.

‘You realise that this is the fucking men’s lavatory, right?’ Arthur said while taking a leek as, all of a sudden, he heard a loud choking noise.

‘Are you alright, Love?’ he asked as you were in the cubicle, with the door open, your head hanging over the toilet seat.

‘Yes, I am fine, thank you Arthur’ you said as you straightened yourself up and walked to the basin to wash your hands.

There was an awkward silence between you and Arthur.

‘Ate something bad, ey?’ Arthur said as he handed you his handkerchief.

‘Yes, probably. It’s been like this for two days’ you said. ‘I will return it, washed of course’ you added after you wiped your mouth with the handkerchief.

‘Don’t worry Love. Keep it’ Arthur said as you both left the bathroom and headed to the meeting.

#cillian murphy #cillian murphy smut #Cillian Murphy x Reader #cillian murphy imagine #Tommy Shelby #tommy shelby smut #tommy shelby x reader #tommy shelby imagine #thomas shelby #thomas shelby smut #thomas shelby x reader #thomas shelby imagine #Peaky Blinders #peaky blinder imagine #peaky blinders fanfic #peaky blinders imagine

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luci-in-trenchcoats · 3 years

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If I Fell For You (Part 12) - Not So Sweet Home

Summary: Jensen is fed up with his parents ignoring Y/N all day and when he gets a moment alone, blows up on them like never before. The reader sees how upset Jensen is over what’s happening and does her best to defend him while still trying to salvage a relationship with them...

Masterlist

Pairing: Jensen x nanny!reader

Word Count: 6,200ish

Warnings: language, major family angst, mention of a dead parent

A/N: Eek! If you like angst this part is for you! Please enjoy and let me know what you think!

________

It was late, the kids asleep in the guest bedroom, Jensen’s siblings and their families gone home for the evening aside from his brother. He made some half ass excuse about wanting to hang out with Jensen more but you knew he could sense what you did. Jensen was getting close to popping after a whole day of politeness on his part and his parents ignoring you on theirs.

Jensen was bouncing his knee like crazy as he sipped on his beer around a gas fire pit, suddenly stopping when you shifted in your seat.

“Maybe you ought to cool it with the alcohol tonight,” said his dad. Jensen set his empty bottle down on the grass and breathed deeply through his nose. “Your legs been-”

“Y/N, would you get me another beer please?” asked Jensen. You took the opportunity to get out of there, surprised when the back door opened quickly after you, his brother closing it behind him.

“I don’t think your parents like me very much,” you said, going to the fridge and pulling out a drink.

“I know,” he said, glancing out the dark window. “Jensen asked me to make sure you don’t come back out there.”

“He’s gonna go off on them.”

“Yeah, that’s what I’m guessing,” he said with a sigh. “I have a feeling this isn’t going to go well. You guys can crash at my place if you want. We don’t have a guest room but we have an air mattress we can put in the family room.”

“You think it’ll be that bad?”

“Yeah,” he said quietly.

“Then why are we in here talking about this when we should be out there making sure he doesn’t say something he regrets in the morning.”

“You might hear things you can’t unhear,” he said.

“Right now my concern isn’t if my feelings get hurt. He’s really upset and I need him to be okay.”

“You know that’s why the rest of us like you, don’t you? You care about him, the kids. You’re in love with him.”

“Yes I am,” you said as he nodded.

“You call me if either of you ever need anything,” he said, going back to the door. You nodded and took a deep breath, following him outside and already hearing raised voices.

“She’s half your age, Jensen,” said his mom. “She was your nanny. Sweetie you have to know what’s going on here.”

“You’re getting played,” said his father, catching you walking out with Josh.

“She is not half my age. She’s thirty fucking years old! She’s a goddamn adult and been through more shit then both of you put together! She’s not after fucking money,” snapped Jensen who was already out of his seat.

“You’re engaged to the girl after five months!” said his father. “It took you years to propose the first time around!”

“Because I was a nervous kid that was away working constantly. I didn’t want to make Dee stay if it was gonna make her unhappy. I’m not afraid of how I feel anymore because I feel the same about her as I do Dee and I’m not wasting my time so I can stick to your socially acceptable schedule,” said Jensen. “I love her and she’s gonna be part of this family whether you like it or not. Deal with it.”

“You need a prenup,” said his dad.

“No I don’t!”

“Yes you do! You’ve known the girl for not even six months!”

“She’s not up to anything!” shouted Jensen.

“Son-”

“Have you ever lost your wife? Have you ever been in the car and almost die yourself while you watch her breathe for the last time? Where she’s hurt and you can’t do a thing to fix it? Have you ever had to tell your children their mother is dead and she’s not coming back? You have no idea, no idea, what that does to you, how much it hurts and how much it hurts when you’re still so fucked up and your parents start making comments behind closed doors about you and you have to pretend you’re better when you’re really not. When you don’t even care about yourself anymore, when you pretend for everyone’s sake so they stop treating you like a child, when you don’t know how to tell your kids it’s okay because it’s not. It’s not. Until you go through that, until you know how bad it hurts, don’t assume a damn thing about her. She’s my best friend and she makes me feel like my old self again. I laugh and smile and have fun and when I get scared or feel guilty or freak out she makes me feel better. I don’t give a fuck how old she is or what her job was. She’s kind and good and she deserves better than you two. Danneel’s parents like her. Jared’s parents like her. Her old foster dad’s family likes her. Our family likes her except for you two. Get your heads out of your asses or you can not even bother letting me know you exist anymore. I’m done with things hurting the women I care about. I couldn’t stop what happened to Dee but I can sure as hell keep Y/N away from the two of you,” said Jensen. He huffed and walked off, Josh running off after him.

“Well congratulations. You got your hooks in him deep, don’t you,” said his father. You rolled your eyes and his mother scoffed.

“You can take care of someone without treating them like a child you know. He’s an incredibly strong person. If you don’t like me fine. But don’t call him stupid or easily manipulated or imply that it’s wrong to know you love someone after only a certain amount of time. I love your son.”

“You love his money,” said his mom.

“I do just fine on my own,” you said, narrowing your eyes. “He’s staying at Josh’s house tonight. We’ll pick up the kids in the morning.”

“He’s overreacting. He’ll be fine in the morning,” said his dad. You crossed your arms and leaned your head back. “He’ll be fine.”

“You two don’t know a thing about me and you assume I want money because of my age and my former career. Don’t assume your son will be fine and get over it.”

“We’ve known him a lot longer than you have. He’ll get over it after a night’s rest.”

“You may have known him longer and I’m sure in some regards you do know him better but not the ones that matter. If you did, you would have seen how much he would have loved for the two of you to like me. I would have taken some respect and been happy because trust me, I get how this looks to everyone else. I understand you have fears and I’m not mad you have them. I’m mad you assume those are facts when all they are is a story you made up in your head you don’t want to change. He’s right, I’m not going anywhere. The difference between him and me though is that I’ll stay out here all damn night with the two of you until you get it through your heads that I’m not here to fuck him over. I love him. I don’t have family, not really. Things have always been screwed up for me pretty much until I met him and he didn’t have to say it for me to know that he was hoping he could share the two of you with me. Maybe I was hoping for that too. But right now I’ll take some goddamn respect and an apology to your son to start and we can go from there.”

“You’re gonna curse at us and expect an apology?” said his mom. “We know you took him when he was at his low and tricked him into trusting you so you could get exactly what you wanted.”

“You know what I want? What I’ve always wanted and somehow always seems to get ripped away? A family. A stupid fucking family. Being a nanny? That let me feel like part of the family. I could pretend I was like all of those people I worked for. Nice and normal and like people gave a shit. Some kindness and a family is all I’ve ever wanted. You two...you wouldn’t have survived a day in my childhood. In my adulthood with the shitty ex boyfriend and the crappy friends and I picked myself over all of them because my mom told me to stand up for myself. Even when she couldn’t be there and I wanted her to. So I stand up for myself and now I stand up for him and those three kids to anyone and I mean anyone, that hurts them. He’s my family and those kids are my family. I don’t know what you think I’m gonna do but I guarantee the only thing I will do is tell you two where to shove it and to leave him the hell alone.”

“Why would we believe anything you say? At all?” his dad asked. “It’s probably the same sad story you told him to get him on the line. I don’t buy it.”

“I have a million dollar book deal. I’ve worked rent free for a lot of rich people since I was eighteen years old. Do I sound like someone who needs his money?” you said. You put your hands on your hips and shook your head. “What is it? You want me to sign a prenup? I would but he doesn’t want one. He trusts me and for a guy that lost his wife and had to work through falling in love with another person, I respect that. He knows what he wants and he’s not wasting time. This is scary for him. It’s scary for me. But when Dee’s parents gave me open arms and kindness and their blessing, the last people I ever expected to disapprove were you two. If you’re going to stand there and keeping calling me a liar, I’m going to find your sons and I’m going take care of Jensen instead of wasting my time here.”

“We don’t disapprove of him moving on and marrying again,” said his mom as you turned to walk away.

“Could have fooled me,” you said.

“He’s going too fast and he doesn’t know you either, not well enough to make a decision like that,” said his dad. You turned around and smiled.

“He knows my favorite color. He knows what my favorite flavor of ice cream is. He knows why I have nightmares and he knows how to make me forget them in the first place. I’m sorry we aren’t doing things on your schedule but it’s his life. He can do whatever the fuck he wants with it, whether that’s me or somebody else. For the record, he knows me just fine. Oh and if this is how you plan on speaking to him again in the morning, I’ll pick up the kids myself.”

“We’re looking out for his best interest,” said his dad.

“No, you think you’re looking at his wallet for him. See money? People think that’s important and it is but best interest? It ain’t that shit,” you said as you started to leave.

“Well what do you assume his best interest is then?” said his mom.

“Treating him like an adult. He is smart and strong and the most emotionally healthy man I’ve ever met which considering all the fucked up shit he’s been through and felt the past year is really saying something. He’s your child but he’s not a child. He found someone he loves and all he wanted to do was share me with you. This was his worst nightmare and I couldn’t stop it. So if you’re not gonna even try with me, then I’m gonna protect him from you.”

“He doesn’t need protecting from us,” he said.

“You call him stupid and that he can’t take care of himself, that he can be fooled and that the person he thinks is his best friend really only wants him for his money. He knows none of those things are true but it’s what you said to him when you said that about me. For a man who went through what he did, it wasn’t mean. It was cruel. I’m gonna go fix what I can of your relationship with him because despite all that, I know you guys love each other and I’m not letting that get fucked up because you think whatever the hell you think about me.”

You stormed off around the house and found Josh’s truck still there but neither man in sight. You looked around and heard a sniffle, your head going up to the roof. You saw the lattice work on the side and climbed up, peeking your head up to spot the two of them sat on the roof.

“Hey,” you said quietly. Jensen wouldn’t look at you, Josh rubbing his back.

“Careful,” he said as you climbed up and slowly walked over. You took a seat on your bottom, spotting the window behind them. “That was my room. Jensen used to sneak out this way. I was always too nervous of getting caught to try myself. You landed the bad boy of the family.”

“Oh yeah, such a bad boy,” you said. You scooted closer on your butt to him, Jensen resting his head on his knees. “Hey. Before you even think about it don’t say you’re sorry.”

“I know,” he said. He took a deep breath but looked up, looking fairly normal aside from a slightly pink nose. “I wasn’t expecting that.”

“Nobody was,” said Josh. “I’ll give you guys a minute. I’ll be in my car when you’re ready.”

“You should go home,” said Jensen. “Staying in a different house won’t change anything.”

“That was kinda fucked up what they said.” Jensen raised an eyebrow and he shrugged. “I don’t always agree with them. If you guys want to stay, that’s your choice but I’m not going home without telling them what a mistake they’re making.”

“You don’t have to-”

“You’re my little brother and I like her. Even if I didn’t, they’re being assholes and she doesn’t deserve that. You don’t. Alright?”

Jensen nodded and Josh walked off to the lattice and climbed down while you scooted next to Jensen.

“You thought your siblings weren’t gonna like me,” you said.

“He’s a good person. He’s never told off our parents before so...I don’t know if I’m happy about that or not.”

“He’s a good big brother,” you said, wrapping your arms around him. “I don’t love you for your family though. I don’t care if your parents don’t like me. I’ll deal with it.”

“I wish you didn’t have to,” he said.

“I still like your dad so much better than mine,” you said.

“Yours is a monster to be fair.”

“Yeah, he is. Yours love you and I don’t agree with them but in their minds, they’re protecting you and I don’t have a problem with anyone trying to do that.”

“How are you so fucking kind to them after they basically said you’re with their dumbass son because of money?”

“Like you said, I know monsters. I know toxic and bad. They aren’t it. They raised you and I really, really like you. Good people can be stupid and still be good. In the morning we’ll try again.”

“What if I can’t get them to change their minds?” he said quietly.

“Jensen,” you said, moving to squat down in front of him. You grabbed his cheeks and he stared at you. “You don’t have to pick anybody over anybody. Maybe I won’t be close with them but that’s okay. It’s so okay. We’ll respect each other or just won’t talk to each other and we’ll figure it out but we don’t have to do it all tonight.”

“I think what bothers me the most is they’ve already made up their minds about you based on your age when they don’t even realize who you are. They don’t see that this is the kind of person you are, kind and supportive and I heard you not taking their bullshit. You’re a stronger person than I am and I wish they could see that the reason I’m not freaking out over this is cause I know you’re my partner and you got my back like I got yours. I’m just having a hard time understanding why they won’t even listen to us.”

“I don’t know,” you said, eyes darting to the window when you caught some movement inside. You narrowed them and glanced down, spotting the crack between the windowsill and frame. “I’m a little cool. I’m gonna get my sweatshirt if that’s okay.”

“Careful climbing in,” he said, turning on his bottom and pushing the window up. You kissed his cheek and climbed inside, the room empty as far as you could tell. You stepped out to the hall and into his old room, getting your hoodie, his old hoodie. You pulled it on but went downstairs, catching his parents in the kitchen with Josh.

“Josh may I speak to your parents in private,” you said.

“Yeah. I’m done here. I’ll be over for brunch, okay?” he said. He walked past you and caught your arm. “Call me if you need me back.” You nodded and he kissed your temple before he went out.

“Were you eavesdropping on us?” you asked, crossing your arms.

“We went to tell him to get off the roof. We could see him from the backyard up there,” said his mom, putting her back to you as she mixed up something in a mug. “But we heard the three of you talking and then the two of you. We didn’t mean-”

“We are all on the same side. His side. We should get along. It shouldn’t be this difficult and I don’t appreciate private conversations being listened in on. But I hope you understand that you hurt your son. I know you didn’t mean to and it’s the last thing you’d ever want to do to him. But you did. So please try to help me fix this. This isn’t easy for me to accept that you don’t like me either but you’re gonna respect me. If we can respect each other, then he’s not going to worry as much at least. Please promise that we can agree to that,” you said. His parents looked at each other and you sighed. “You have to be kidding me. What do you want me to do? Go away? I can’t do that. I won’t do that.”

“That’s not...Jensen called your father a monster up there,” he said.

“I thought it was a sob story according to you ten minutes ago.”

“You said you don’t have parents. He said your father is alive.”

“What’s your point, Mr. Ackles,” you said. “Please enlighten me.”

“It doesn’t make much sense to tell different stories,” he said.

“You can’t even give me the benefit of the doubt that I love your son. Why the fuck would I tell you things only he knows, things so few people know about. Why would I trust you with the worst parts of my life when you don’t accept the best ones. For your information, my birth mother is dead. My adoptive mother is dead. I wish my son of a bitch father was dead. The only glimmer of a parent I have maybe, maybe was my foster father. That was until last weekend. I met some parents. I met Dee’s. I met Jared’s. I got the same message from all of them. Let us know if you ever need anything. Oh the way he looks at you. You must be pretty special. Anything at all, you give us a call. People that don’t even have an obligation to look in my direction treated me like I was their kid. So maybe he and I both got our hopes up with you two and that was on us. If you want to pick apart what I’ve said and call me a liar…” you said, putting your hands on your hips. Your shut your eyes and breathed deeply, turning around. “I don’t care if you have to pretend to respect me. Just do it for his sake and the kids sakes, alright?”

A tissue appeared over your shoulder and you took it, blowing your nose and stepping away.

“When did your mother’s pass?” you heard behind you. You threw your head back and took a deep breath.

“When I was born and when I was sixteen,” you said, turning around and swallowing. “Why does that matter?”

“When were you adopted?” he asked.

“Why do you care?”

“Please.”

“I was eight,” you said.

“So you only had your mother for eight years then,” he said.

“Yeah. She got sick when I was fourteen. I stayed with her boyfriend until I moved out for my first nanny job at eighteen. It was all very sad and angsty,” you said.

“Who made the first move?”

“I’m done with this interrogation,” you said. You started to leave but he stepped in front of you. “What do you want from me?”

“I just want to know who made the first move, you or Jensen.”

“I don’t…” you trailed off. “We had a fight. I told him I didn’t want him to be my friend anymore, he was just my boss and that was it. We couldn’t hang out at night and stuff anymore.”

“Why?”

“I didn’t want him to hurt me,” you said quietly. “I didn’t fit with his life. I’m not a pretty actress. I’m not smart. I’m the younger nanny and that’s all I was gonna be until I became an older nanny and that was supposed to be my life. I didn’t ask for…”

“For what?” asked his mother, carrying over her mug and setting it down on the end table.

“I didn’t ask for him to love me. But he did and I don’t know why but I trusted him not to hurt me. It’s not fairytales and roses all day every day but I like having a best friend and I never would have submitted those books to a publisher without him encouraging me and I need him to feel better. He can’t catch a break lately and I hate seeing him upset. It makes me sick to my stomach and I really, really need him to be okay so please stop doing this. Just stop. Please. I don’t care if we have to pretend the rest of our lives but please, I can’t keep seeing him take hit after hit anymore and not being able to stop it.”

You weren’t expecting the hug from his father or to bury your face in his chest for a brief moment. His mom guided you to sit on the couch, pulling a blanket around you. She handed you the mug and you saw it was hot chocolate, your eyes darting back and forth between them.

“This isn’t about to be like a lifetime movie where you murder me, right?” you said.

“No,” said his mom as she sat next to you. “We hurt you quite deeply today, didn’t we.”

You stared at the mug, holding it in your hands.

“You were looking forward to meeting us,” said his dad as he sat down on your other side.

“It doesn’t matter. All I care about is him.”

“I don’t think he’d be very happy with you laying down for a semblance of normalcy for him,” he said.

“Just spit out whatever the fuck you want,” you said. You gripped the mug and shut your eyes.

“I’d like you to stop swearing please,” he said. “In exchange, maybe we can have a second chance.”

“Second chance at what?” you said dryly.

“At meeting our son’s fiance.” You lifted your head and stared at him, catching a bashful look you saw in Jensen every so often. “We understand, as well as we can, he was hurt after Danneel. We can’t fix those problems like when he would scrape his knees. We knew he was in a vulnerable position and things between the two of you seemed so fast for how in pain he was. We thought of the worst of you before knowing you and that wasn’t right of us. We were trying to protect him. But like you said, we all try to do that. So if you’ll let us, give us a second chance.”

“For him, I will give you both a second chance,” you said. “I’m sorry to have to be the one to tell you this but this sort of thing isn’t going to go away just like that, for him or for me.”

“Is there anything…” said his mom as you shook your head. “We are sorry for before. Truly.”

“I know. Trust is difficult for me on a normal day. You guys kinda tore through the safety nets I thought I had with you. I need to build them up again is all.”

“That was you that said that, people have safety nets,” she said. You raised and eyebrow and she sighed. “Jensen, months back, he told us his therapist told him that, put things in perspective.”

“I guess couple’s are kinda each other’s therapists,” you said. “Sometimes they just need to vent to each other too.”

“Before you said...has he ever been to one?” asked his dad.

“Last weekend was...intense. I went to one as a child and he talked to him for a little while, helped him put things in perspective,” you said.

“Intense? Did you fight?” she asked.

“He and JJ got stung by a scorpion. It was a little serious. We went out the next night and I made a comment and he took it a different way and he got upset thinking I thought of myself as being less in his eyes than Dee was. I know it’s not true, it’s just different. He’s been having a really great week aside from today.”

You took a sip of the hot chocolate and went back for more, drinking half the mug down.

“We screwed up,” said his dad with a sigh, sitting back against the couch.

“Yeah but he’ll forgive you,” you said. “This is really good Mrs. Ackles.”

“Thank you sweetie and call me Donna. I made it for Jensen. He’s always liked it when he was living here and having a bad day.”

“Why do you think he’ll forgive us?” asked his dad as Donna got up.

“Because he’s Jensen. He’s not an angry man. Angry in moments but he doesn’t hold onto anger. I wouldn’t expect anything less from him. So I know he’ll forgive you. When I’m not sure of but it won’t be forever.”

“Have you two ever fought badly?” he asked.

“We’ve had a few fights. Mostly small and when we’re both tired or hungry. We had a big one a few weeks ago when he got home but we talked about why it happened and how to make sure it doesn’t again,” you said. Donna carried over a kettle and poured more hot chocolate in your mug. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Don't ask about fights Alan. It’s not our business. We should let them tell us what they want,” she said as she walked back to the kitchen.

“They probably should have had a big fight at least once to know if they can work through those things and it sounds like they have,” he said when he turned to you. “I know you’re probably love struck but marriage? That’s a lifetime of putting in the work.”

“Alan if I didn’t care about putting in the work I wouldn’t be down here right now. I know I don’t know everything I’m signing up for and no one really does but I know him and the kids and that’s worth the parts I have to work at.”

“You sound older than you look.”

“Age doesn’t always equal life experience,” you said.

“I suppose not,” he said. He stood and took a deep breath. “I do apologize for thinking the worst of you and not giving you a fair chance upfront.”

“Thank you,” you said. “I’m going to bring this up and check on him.”

“Can I ask one last thing?” asked his dad. You nodded and he looked over to Donna who gave him a short nod. “Josh said you really love him.”

“I do.”

“Do you think he loves you the same way?”

“I know he does,” you said.

“How are you so sure?”

“How are you so sure your wife loves you?” you said. “Goodnight Alan.”

“Goodnight,” he said, his mom catching up with you in the foyer where the stairs were. You gave her a tired smile and she nodded.

“If I told you something, would you keep it a secret from Jensen?” she asked.

“No,” you said with a smile.

“I had to try,” she said. “We’re not like this by nature. Something happened he doesn’t know about when he was recovering that put us off to you. A woman. A young woman at his physical therapy.”

“What happened?” you asked quietly. She took a seat on a step and you sat beside her. “If someone tried to take advantage of him, you should have told me and him. He thinks you guys have gone nuts, no offense.”

“You’ll find with time you’d rather have your child safe and upset at you than the other way around,” she said.

“What happened?”

“We moved down to the house for a few months to help Jensen. He went to physical therapy. A very good place. A family friend works there and got him in and he regained a lot of strength in his leg quickly because of it. There were nurses that often helped and he worked with a few regularly and they develop a relationship and all that. It’s good for morale and healing we were told. One of these girls was about your age and our family friend overheard her gossiping to a friend on the phone during a lunch break.”

“Gossiping about…” you said. “Jensen?”

“They saw an opportunity to manipulate him. He is smart, smarter than the both of us together, but he was going through the motions that first month. She made him smile a bit. She flirted with him. Our friend told us what she’d said and we realized, he could be hurt again. Taken advantage of for what he has, what he can offer. His sudden shift in mood this year, introducing you as a fiance, made us think we’d failed to protect him this time.”

“Why not tell him that?” you asked.

“And tell him he was being manipulated back then? He’s so adamant that it can’t happen to him but we know different.”

“I think you should tell him, Donna. It makes your reaction today seem not so…” you said, her head shaking.

“Ma,” you both heard. You looked over your shoulders, Jensen sat against the wall at the top of the landing. “Mom. Jerry told me why I got a new nurse when it happened. She was nice, or was pretending to be, I don’t know. But I didn’t like her. I never got manipulated and I was never going to.”

“How long-” you said, Jensen rubbing the back of his neck. “You heard everything.”

“Yup,” he said, popping his p, his dad coming over to the bottom of the stairs and staring up. “I don’t want to talk to either of you right now. Y/N, I’d like to go to bed, please.”

“Accept their apology Jensen. You can hash out the rest of this in the morning but accept that they know they were in the wrong,” you said.

“Why should I?” he asked, cocking his head.

“We both got hurt out of their love for you. They are not monsters and I know the difference,” you said. “You know too.”

“Will you two ever look at me the same again,” said Jensen, staring at the landing.

“Honey it was a fight. It’ll be alright,” said his mom, his head shaking.

“Ever since I woke up in the hospital, you two look at me like I’m a kid. Like I’m weak and defenseless. But I’m not. I’m stronger than I’ve ever been and this whole day could have been avoided if you treated me like your adult son, not the kid who fell off his bike and cries over a cut. I needed you two to take over, I did, I honestly did after the accident. I couldn’t take care of myself let alone the kids. But you haven’t stopped thinking I can take care of me again. I can. I do. I know I’m your kid but let me be an adult again. Trust me. Please.”

“Come here,” you said, holding out your hand. He slid down the steps and you stood up and aside, letting him get a hug from his mom and then dad.

“We’re sorry,” said his dad.

“I know,” said Jensen quietly. “Never do something like that again. Ever.”

“We won’t,” he said. You leaned against the wall and sipped on the hot chocolate, Jensen’s nose twitching.

“That’s my cocoa,” he said, turning his head up at you.

“I just Jerry Springer’ed ya’ll. I get the cocoa. Get your own,” you said. He smiled and you gave it right back, his parents pulling off and bringing him to his feet.

“Come here,” said his dad as his mom dragged him off towards the kitchen with the promise of hot chocolate. You stepped down until you were about his height and took a drink, licking your lips when you finished. “How do you just let that go? You were so angry before.”

“I’ve been to therapy. I have good diffusing skills,” you said.

“Is that a joke?”

“Not really,” you said with a smile. “You made a mistake because you love him. I’m gonna make mistakes because I love him. So when I screw up, now you owe me one, deal?”

“I know it’s getting late but would you be willing to stay up a while longer, maybe find out that favorite color?” he asked. You smiled and nodded, stepping down.

“Depends on the day,” said Jensen, stepping out with a mug of his own.

“He’s right,” you said. “You okay to stay up a bit?”

He nodded and walked back to the family room, taking your hand.

“Better?” you whispered to him.

“Yeah. Not all the way but definitely better honey.”

It was warm when you woke up the next morning. You peeled open an eye and caught Jensen laying awake, staring at his ceiling. You kicked off the blankets and he reached an arm out, pulling you to lay on his chest.

“It’s hot in here,” you mumbled, eyes shutting again.

“There’s a box covering the vent,” he said, dancing his fingers lazily over your bare arm. “It’s almost noon.”

“Seriously?” you said into his chest, nuzzling against his soft skin.

“Yeah. Sounds like they’re out back with the kids,” he said. You nodded and felt him move his fingers all over you, soft and light, absentmindedly tracing patterns every so often.

“Still upset?” you asked, his head nodding. “They’re human. They fuck up.”

“Are you angry?”

“I was. Not anymore. I kinda like ‘em actually.”

“Why would you give them a second chance?” he asked.

“When I got adopted I didn’t like, instantly love my mom. I was scared of her at first. I don’t know, I get that you can not like someone at first and then love them unconditionally, you know? It’s weird but your opinions can change once you get to know someone.”

“I don’t do a very good job of protecting you from things,” he said, tilting his head, moving a few hairs behind your ear. You looked up at him, his fingers playing in your hair behind you.

“Honey you went off on your parents last night. I bet you’ve never done that to them. You were trying to protect me and you did. No one has ever protected me the way you do,” you said. “Today is a new day and I’d like to get to know my new family some more.”

“Okay,” he said softly. “I’ll follow your lead.”

_______

A/N: Read Part 13 here!

#supernatural #spn #jensen ackles #jensen ackles au #jensen x reader #jensen series #rpf #rpf series #jensen ackles x reader #spn fanfic #jensen ackles fanfic #supernatural fanfic

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tomhollandisabae · 3 years

Text

730 days - billy russo x reader | part 2

masterlist

series masterlist

fandom; the punisher

summary; billy threatens y/n to go with him at some gala

warnings; angst, mature themes, mature language, metions of blood, threatening w knief, masturbate (MINORS D.N.I / 18+)

words; 1.6k

A couple of days later, your father hadn’t even tried to communicate with you, it was as if he didn’t even care about you, thing which was upsetting you a lot. Billy was being kind of cold towards you, but it wasn’t as if you were seeing each other a lot, as a matter of fact that you were always locked in your room, which turned out to be billy’s room too.

The first night he tried to sleep with you, not in any suggestive way, he just attempted to sneak into the bed while you were asleep, but as soon as you felt something move besides you, you pushed him off the bed, resulting in him falling onto the ground. He never tried to do that again, it was as if he was respecting your decision, yet how would you believe that since he had kidnapped you.

You had missed human contact, in any kind of way and you wanted so bad to leave this house. Billy had even taken your phone too and you couldn’t talk to anyone. You were still mad at him, who wouldn’t be, but you managed to stay as much as you could away from him. However, you still liked him and couldn’t hold back, but think about how it would be if he one day sneak into your room again and started kissing you, then removing your clothes and then at the end, fucking you. you wanted him so bad and having him wandering around the house for the most part of the day that he wasn’t at anvil, was infuriating.

You had thought many times about touching yourself, but you didn’t want to give into him, didn’t want to let him know that he’d won. You hated that, your ache about him and you wanted to tease him back, but it was as if nothing was affecting him, or he was pretending so…

Letting out a heavy sigh, you made your way downstairs and into the kitchen to grab something to eat, because you didn’t eat lunch and now you were starving to death. In your displeasure though, billy was there too sitting on the couch watching tv with just a pair of grey sweatpants on. You tried not to look at him and opened the fridge to find something eatable. As you did so and closed it, you felt an arm wrapping around your waist and you were yanked behind and against a firm chest. Billy…

“haven’t seen you today princess” he whispered as he placed his head in the crook of your neck making chills run through your body.

“wasn’t that wonderful?” you said ironically and pushed away his arm from your waist, resulting in him to let out a small chuckle.

“couldn’t agree more” he winked at you as you turned around and you rolled your eyes.

“come on princess don’t be like that” he smirked and you didn’t said anything back, making him sigh deeply “anyways, there’s this gala tonight that we have to attend so be ready at 8” he said and sat back down on the couch.

“excuse me?” you exclaimed and he looked at you.

“what?” he simply said,

“I’m not going anywhere with you” you said and he let out a dark laugh sitting back up and walking towards you.

“you don’t understand princess. This is the reason I have you with me, to be my little doll that I’ll be showing of at your daddy” he smirked looking down at you “this is the only reason I’m keeping you alive” he continued and your eyes widened “yes princess, I decide whether you leave or not, me and only me” he finished.

“fuck you” you said with a trembling voice.

“you just have to ask sweetheart and I’ll obey to that” he grinned at your comment and your eyes widened.

“I’m not coming” you threw your hands in the air by the frustration and tried to leave but he grabbed you by the hair snatching you back at him while pulling from his pocket a small knife pointing it at your neck.

“either you’re coming with me or I’m slashing your throat leaving you here to bleed to death while I’ll be watching tv, your call” he hissed in your ear and you gulped.

“I dare you…” suddenly feeling more confident you gripped at his wrist digging your nails into skin, drawing blood.

“fucking bitch” he breathed out and pressed even more the blade to your throat.

“you need me, we both know that. You can’t kill me. What will your little buddy think about it?” you bit at your lip trying to hold back your smirk.

“I fucking hate you” he said and finally let go of you pushing you away with force, making you gasp “you’re still coming with me though, because even if I can’t kill you, I can kill your friends and whoever else you care about” his eyes darkened and you felt your blood stop running in your veins by what he told you.

“billy…” you whispered his name, feeling helpless.

“I spoke” he gritted his teeth.

“okay…” you finally gave in with a deep sigh.

“good, I’ll bring you up your dress in a minute” he said as he signed for you to go to room.

After a few minutes that you’d reached your room you heard someone knocking. Opening it you saw billy with a huge back in his hand.

“this is yours. Be ready by 8” he explained and left without a second word.

Moments later, you decided to open the back and inside you saw the most beautiful dress. It was a long, silk, black dress without a back and you felt definitely in love with it. Did billy bought it for you? looks like he might be a bastard, but he’s a bastard with good taste.

You finally went to take a bath, relaxing by the events of the day and tried to avoid thinking about what will happen later. Once out, you wrapped a towel around you and started daydreaming as you started with your hair routine, as billy had made sure to provide you with everything that you had back home.

You started thinking about him though, about how it would be to have him there right next to you. what if you’d attend this event as his actual girlfriend and not as a pawn. You wanted him to wrap his arms around you as he did earlier, you wanted him to kiss your neck and places more southern. Without even thinking your hand made each way towards your heat that was already soaking and not just by the water. You closed your eyes and felt your heartbeat increasing as you run your fingers between your folds. You rubbed your clit for a moment before guiding your fingers at your opening and pushing two of them inside you as you gasped. You pumped them in and out of you thinking about billy’s fingers. How good they were wrapped around your neck at firs day that you came here. You wanted him to bury them deep inside as, you wanted him to make you cum a thousand time only by using them… and then maybe he’d bury his head between your legs too.

You let out a moan at the feeling. You imagined that these were his fingers, he was the one controlling your body, your orgasms, everything… you wanted him to ruin you. with your thumb you rubbed your clit, feeling your high approaching as you imagined billy’s face looking right into your eyes.

“oh fuck… billy…” you moaned loudly as you came on your fingers.

Seconds later and after you had calmed down, it was as if you had returned on the planet earth and hoping that he didn’t hear you, you washed your hands and with trembling legs, you made your way back in your room to get ready.

An hour later you were finished. You had wore the dress that billy gave you as you combined them with your black high heels and had put on night make up. Once ready you took your small black and silver purse and made your way downstairs.

When you went to the hall that was leading to the entrance way, billy was standing there putting on his suit jacket and you couldn’t help yourself but check him out as he had his back on you. you finally decided to pretend as if you were clearing your throat and he turned around looking at you as you saw his jaw dropping at the sight of you.

“are… are you ready?” he asked after a few moments clearing his throat too.

“yeah…” you answered and walked towards the door as he grabbed his keys, but before you could walk past him, he grabbed your arm stopping you.

“if you dare to try anything, say anything or attempt to leave, all your friends are dead” he threatened and you gulped nodding “I didn’t hear you” he hissed shaking your arm with force “did you understand?” he asked.

“yes” you said.

“good” and with that you left his house and made your to the private garage that was in his building.

Well, that’ll be a tough night…

part 3

taglist;

@blanchedelioncourt @antigoneidk

#marvel #fanfic #imagines #netflix #billy russo #billy russo imagine #billy russo x reader #billy russo one shot #billy russo x y/n #billy russo x you #billy russo x female reader #billy russo smut #the punisher #series

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lubdubsworld · 3 years

Text

Better Man.

~~~~We might still be in love, if you were a better man. ~~~~

Taehyung x OC

Rating 18 +

Angst.

Implied Infidelity in the past.

Chapter 1 ~ Walk out the first time.

"Are you okay?" My mother's soft voice came from behind me and i panicked, hurriedly swiping at the tears that were streaking down my face. Heart pounding, I grabbed a bunch of tissues from the dresser, patting my face down hurriedly , making sure to keep my back to her.

"I'm fine, Mom." I said , voice surprisingly steady as I turned around to smile weakly at her. She stood near the doorway, a petite woman of fifty with greying hair and too many wrinkles.

I thought she looked older than she was and i knew I had a part to play in that. Sighing, I tried not to cry more, moving to gently take my son out of her arms.

He was four years old, fast asleep and smiling sweetly in his slumber. He had downy black hair, feather soft and warm brown eyes. He looked incredibly like his father, the resemblance stunning even though he was so young. I stared at him some more, laying him down on the bed and brushing the hair off his face.

"Are you sure there is no mistake? Taehyung ssi wouldn't hurt us like this..." My mother said, sounding broken and I felt a pang of sympathy. But also annoyance.

Us.

Us....like she had an equal share in the hurt I was feeling.

I was the one getting a divorce but my mother made it sound like it was personal to her as well. Like somehow, the fact that she now had to meet her friends and tell them that her daughter was divorced could compare to the pain I was feeling. To the sheer anguish that was filling me.

To be fair though, my mother had loved Taehyung very much. Her favorite son-in-law . My sister's husband had been a mean drunkard who had brought a lot of misery to our family. Taehyung by contrast had been a loving, filial son in law. He had cared deeply for my parents, paid for my father's funeral ( even though the man itself was nothing more than a drunk , cheating fool who had abandoned us ) and he had been the most kind man .

I swallowed.

Maybe , you should have forgiven him. Maybe , you shouldn't have divorced him . So, he slept with another woman. Fine. It was one night... just one night. you should have gotten over it! Was it worth it to spend all these countless nights alone? To break your mother's heart a thousand times over?

The funny thing was, i had forgiven him. Maybe right after I had found out. He had stood there, looking shell-shocked and horrified and his eyes had begged me for forgiveness and my heart had cracked , the way it always did whenever I saw him in distress. And when he had looked me in the eye and said, " I’m sorry, Jang mi..." I had forgiven him right then and there.

But it was the forgetting that was hard. The fear that it would happen again. The fear that somehow, I was the reason he strayed. And that kind of fear can be debilitating. For the first three weeks, I'd tried to pretend it hadn't happened. I had tried hard to see him the way I had always seen him but it had been impossible. everytime I saw him, my heart had broken anew. It had been hard but I had to accept that things would never be the same. That I would forever look at him and remember what he’d done. That I would forever wonder if he would do it again.

So we had done the wise thing.

At first a break.

A few days apart to get our head on straight. Then I’d found a job and I had to move closer to the office to make the commute easy. And then suddenly, I wasn’t seeing him even during the weekends , to spend time as family for our son’s sake. And just like that , a whole year had passed and we were separated. Only meeting to hand Hoshi over to each other.

"I'm sorry mother." I said softly. I knew that she blamed me, a whole lot for the separation.

People with children didn't leave each other over infidelity in my country. You hit your husband, denied him from your bed maybe but you didn't break up a family over one night of bad decisions. You just didn't .

But for me, it was beyond the act. It was the broken trust, the shock of knowing that some other woman had given him something I couldn't, the fact that he had even wanted it from another woman had been enough for me to crumble on the inside.

But, none of it mattered now.

He wanted a divorce. Officially. Wanted to end it for real.

It was jarring, how badly it shook me. I felt unaccountably lost and confused and disoriented. I couldn't imagine not being Taehyung’s wife , i realized with a stunning sense of self realization.

Call me irrational, but apparently, I couldn't stop thinking of him as my husband , even after two years. Soon he wouldn't be my husband.

He would be my ex -husband.

i hated that word.

It had such a plethora of negative connotations to it. When you hear it , you just brace yourself for unpleasantness.

Because it is unpleasant. A marriage ending, a family breaking, feelings hurt , hearts shattered, angry words tossed...its all a very unpleasant experience for everyone involved.

An ex husband was seldom a harbinger of happiness, more often a reminder of choices gone wrong, regrets and wasted time. and I didn’t want to associate Taehyung with a word like that.

Taehyung who was still the kindest, warmest human being I knew. The best father in the world.

I felt like someone had sucked all the strength out of me.

I didn’t really want to think about the call I’d gotten from Taehyung last night. An appointment with a divorce lawyer. It had been followed by an apology because apparently, someone in the law firm had let the info leak. And now it was all over the sleazy tabloids that fed on people’s misery.

It was impossible to escape it too, Taehyung was famous. An idol. And actor. The country's sweetheart. And he was the epitome of perfection. The beautiful, talented actor with an impeccable record of well behavior.

I knew that literally everyone on the planet thought he was a literal angel.

I remembered how much , by contrast, I had been hated when I'd married him.

I could just imagine how much more it would all be this time around. And i wondered if it bothered Taehyung too. Did he perhaps wish he’d never met me

It had been sheer luck that we had met....

In fact, if Jimin's car hadn't broken down right outside our home on that cold December night, I wouldn't have even met Taehyung. A great cosmic shift, somewhere some butterfly flapped its wing a certain way and suddenly, Jimin’s car ran over a thumbtack and his phone was dead so while he tried to fix the damage , Taehyung just had to knock on our home and I had been the one to open it.

Boom. That was it. Love at first sight.

I had been a high school kid and he had been barely nineteen. Fresh faced and cheerful , the struggling idol from a small company. He hadn't been surrounded by fans or chased by saesangs. He hadn't had security tailing him. No daesangs, BBMAs, or acting awards. No blockbuster movies to his credit , no chart-bursting songs either .

And I had fallen in love with that version of him.

The hardworking, talented young man who worked twice as hard as anyone around him.

That's right. You've loved him for fifteen years. So it's understandable that you're upset. Now, maybe you can move on too. Go on a few of those blind dates that Jiyoung is always setting you up on. Go live your life instead of being a zombie. Get a hair cut. Dye your hair red. Do something to get your life in order.

"I still find it hard to believe that he would want a divorce. Jangmi yah... did you tell him you forgave him? Tell him you wanted to try again..." My mother said again and the distress in her voice was equal parts heartbreaking and exasperating.

"Mother, I don't want to try again . We aren't married anymore. It's over, whatever it was between us. "

Whatever it was.

How cruel, to have all that love, all that affection reduced to a phrase like that.

What a pity.

"But what about Hoshi? He needs his father..." My mother cried out and I willed myself not to snap. She means well, I thought miserably.

"He has a father. Taehyung is an excellent father and you know that. Don’t start that again.”

My mother sighed.

"I still feel that this wouldn’t happen if you tried a little bit. He’s a good boy. Such a good boy and you could never do anyone better. Why are you so full of pride, Jangmi... so prideful...you should be a little humble. Think of the kind of man he is...where would you find a man like that ? And moreover .... Taehyung loves you. i know he does." My mother said stubbornly.

I sighed, feeling my fingers shake from the effort not to scream. I wasn’t strong enough to have this conversation with her. Not now. Possibly never. Taehyung did love me. Had never made any effort to hide it. But sometimes, love wasn’t enough. It just wasn’t.

And I wanted to yell at my mother she was at least partially to blame for me walking out on Taehyung.

My father had left us for another woman , when I was twelve. I had seen the toll it had taken on my mother and I just knew that I would never let a man do that to me. My mother had later confided in me that it wasn’t the first time. He had done it before. A lot of times. And my mother had always forgiven him. Let him back into our lives.

And one night, drunk on soju she had confided between hiccups, ‘ I wish I’d walked out the first time.”

And that had stuck with me.

Walk out the first time.

If he cheats on you , walk out the first time. Don’t stick around waiting for him to do it to you again. Walk out the first time.

And so I had.

“ Should I talk to him? Tell him you’ve changed your mind? “ My mother began and I felt my patience snap.

“No!! Could you just, for the love of God, stay out of this, ma? It’s over. Our marriage is over and it has been over for a long time. A piece of paper doesn’t really change that, does it? Its not my fault you can’t get over it but that’s a you problem. And you need to fix it yourself. “ I shouted.

My mother immediately recoiled, eyes shuttering down.

“Of course. You know the best. Who cares how anyone else feels, right, Jang Mi? You always know best.” She said softly, and I exhaled, shaken. There it was. The guilt trip. It was never ending.

Please... I just need to go now.” I moved to grab my bag, :” I need to go get ready for the meeting with the lawyers tomorrow. You can keep Hoshi with you tonight. I’ll come pick him up after I’m done and then I’ll drop him off at his father’s place.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

With Taehyung and I, our break up hadn’t been terrible.

It hadn’t been terrible because our own penchant for being terrible had always been very minimal. We didn’t do swearing or fights or threats and it always annoyed our friends that we got along so well. That it was so easy for us to forgive and move on with each other . That we were the one couple who didn’t hold grudges or bring up past mistakes.

Which is why, when we did break up, none of our friends had tried to change our minds over it. They had accepted it rather calmly, shocked at first because it was so out of the blue but not opposed to the idea itself . They just trusted us to know the right thing to do because we were easily the most mature , the most level headed couple in the entire group. We were usually the sounding boards , the voice of reason in whatever petty conflict our friends were involved in .

So when it was us, needling a little advice, a little guidance, our friends had been woefully ill equipped to help. They had merely hummed and nodded and empathized. Maybe that was another reason I’d left. I hadn’t considered the alternative. No one had asked me to consider the alternative.

Our friends had watched us drift apart watched us break up, but they hadn’t really asked us why.

Because if something had caused Kim Taehyung and Jang Mi to break up, man, that must’ve been a really huge issue.

So the break up had been amicable. Gradual and slow but mostly amicable, eased by our mutual love for our son. We wanted him happy and he was happy when we were happy. So we put on a front, laughed and joked in front of him and let him have some semblance of normalcy in his life.

It wasn’t easy.

From him, it had been nothing but a mess of heated glances, touches laced with intent and eyes begging forgiveness . every gaze of his was a silent scream for a second chance that I was not at all ready to give.

Because for me, the raw hurt and anger and frustration that bubbled up every time I saw him , it had nowhere to go. It stayed churning in my gut, made everything bitter and unpalatable and I wanted to hurt him for hurting me. How could I think of a second chance when the hurt from the first, was still so fresh, an open wound festering.

Self esteem in tatters, I had hated him fiercely.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The meeting was at his company, and I arrived at nine in the morning, with a few more minutes to spare. I knew the place like the back of my hand, was here at least once a week either to pick or drop Hoshi off and I knew that the conference room in the third floor was sound proof and cut off from the rest of the building for extra privacy.

Which was a little too late because I’d found two tabloid newspapers waiting outside my apartment this morning.

I opened the door carefully, surprised to see Taehyung sitting in one of the chairs, bent over a sheaf of paper on the table and next to him a leggy girl in a small skirt hovered, fingers resting lightly on his shoulder, bent at the optimum angle to show him her curves.

I sighed, looking away.

It was way too early for this.

“Mia!” Taehyung’s voice made me look up, and I watched as he stood up, pushing the chair away and moving to me . He was easily the most good looking man in the country. And he looked so good at thirty five that it was impossible to look away from him.

He was dressed in a pale blue shirt and black slacks and it never amazed me, how good clothes fit him.

I took in the broad shoulders, thick arms and the lean waist, the carefully styled hair and the breathtakingly beautiful face and sighed when he kept coming closer, hands held out. .

Of course, the customary hug.

i let him wrap his arms around me, my face buried in the comforting warmth of his body, the scent of his cologne filling my brain . He always smelled so good it made my heart hurt. I tried not to let myself get carried away. Tried to remind myself that this wasn’t anything more than a.....

A facade ? Or was it? Was his affection genuine?

Was I just too cynical?

I shook my head, pulling away and smiling a little at the genuine venom in the leggy girl’s face.

“Are you okay? Where’s Hoshi?” Taehyung brushed the hair off my face, eyes warm and I wondered if he’d forgotten we were here to get a divorce.

Whenever we met, Taehyung acted like we were still together.

No, that wasn’t it.

He just didn’t act like we had broken up. He was affectionate and open and cooperative. It always left me in a sort of limbo, unable to navigate our relationship with clear boundaries. There were no line to stop myself from crossing, because he just didn’t draw them.

“ Ms. Lee says we just have to go over the details like the alimony and the custody and the division of assets and then we can just proceed. Get it all finalized. “ He said casually, when I moved away and sat on the chair opposite him.

“Okay .” I said casually.

He smiled and turned back to the girl next to him.

“I’ll join you after the meeting Lisa.” he gave her a nice wide smile and the girl practically bloomed under the attention before bowing curtly in my direction. I watched her walk away, slightly amused.

“Bit younger than your usual type.” I commented , glancing at him. He gave me a look.

“I’m not dating her.” He shrugged.

“Does she know that?” I retorted.

It was dumb. Uncalled for. I was being a bitch, really but the urge to evoke some kind of reaction from Taehyung was something I’d never really out grown. I liked getting under his skin.

Taehyung sighed and gave me a little smirk.

“Are you jealous, Mia mine?” He teased.

It felt a little like someone had dug a nine inch dagger straight into my heart.

That stupid nickname.

God I couldn’t bear it.

Swallowing i looked away.

“Sorry. “ he said quietly, a few seconds later.

I nodded curtly.

“Don’t do it again.” I said hoarsely.

“Why not?” He whispered gently.

I groaned.

“Taehyung... “

“it’s just a name...why does it bother you so much?” He whispered.

“The same reason you’re asking me for a divorce.” I said softly.

He blinked.

“Mia...”

“Because we both know its time to stop.” I said quietly. “ Stop dancing around each other , stop doing...whatever it is we’ve been doing these past two years and give our relationship a name. “

“I’m not very fond of labels.” He shrugged. I glared at him.

“Well tough luck. Labels are good. Labels are great. They let you draw boundaries. “ I retorted.

“You sound like you’ve had enough of me.”

“Well, haven’t you had enough of me?” I snapped.

“Not even close.” He leaned forward gently, eyes pinning me to the table with a gaze so strong he may as well have used his body. And it didn’t help that two years wasn’t enough time to forget how it would feel if he had used his body. How it would feel to be stretched out on that table, him on top of me, hands working my clothes open, lips kissing their way down my jaw.

I could almost taste him, taste the minty freshness of his breath, feel his tongue in my mouth, the hardness of him inside me. My thighs clenched because I hadn’t gotten laid in two fucking years and even if i did, no one would ever compare to the man in front of me.

“Mr. Kim? Mrs. Kim? “

The lawyer’s voice broke the spell and i straightened, swallowing. Ms. Lee had walked in , and I watched her close the conference door behind her before locking it gently.

She was young, dressed in a business suit , a no nonsense bun and had small round framed glasses. She gave me a nice smile, shook hands with us both and placed her briefcase on the table before glancing between us.

“Shall we begin?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Author’s Note : its gonna be a bumpy ride.

#taehyung angst #taehyung smut #taehyung fics #bts fics #taehyung fanfic #bts smut #bts fic #bts fanfic

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squishneedsahero · 3 years

Text

A Swing and A Miss

Awesomest of Them All 2.0

Part 9 of 13

Word Count: 2001

Batman x Batmom!Reader

You know what the bat family needs? Someone to pull them together and give them all the love they deserve. Who better to do that than you? An author rising to stardom in Gotham who catches the eye of a billionaire with your standoffish attitude at a huge social gathering. You are yourself and never pretend to be more or less than that. Plus you're the most stubborn person in the world, refusing to let good things go without reason.

This is a rewrite of my story Awesomest of Them All, I wanted to see how much I've improved over 3 years.

You and Bruce had been sitting on the couch together when his phone went off, it was a phone call. Who it was from you didn't know, all you knew was that he got up and went to the other room to take it. He doesn't usually do that, but on the rare occasion he does leave the room to take a call you don't mind as it's usually for a good reason.

Bruce walks back into the room, pinching the bridge of his nose, looking done. "I need to go take care of something. I'll be back later."

"What is it?" You try to ask, and aren't surprised when Bruce doesn't answer. "Okay, I'll see you when you get back," you say going up and kissing him gently on the lips. He kisses you back then heads down to the cave.

You don't sit back down, instead going to find something to do, to occupy your mind while Bruce is gone. Something had him upset but until he was ready to talk about it you weren't going to get it out of him, so that meant you got to either worry or keep busy.

Keeping busy was obviously the better option, so, you went and found the kids to sit in the same room as them. There's your two sons, Dick and Tim, your one adopted daughter Cass, plus Stephanie and Barbara who were like daughters to you.

"Hey mom," Dick says, looking up from where he was on his phone next to Babs, "where's dad?"

You shrug slightly, "not sure, he said he needed to take care of something and took off towards the cave."

"Oh, you want me to go check on him?"

"Not yet," you smile at your oldest who was always trying to take care of you, "he just left. I'm pretty sure he just needs to figure it out on his own first then he'll let me know what's going on."

"Alright," Dick concludes the conversation, but you can feel the eyes of the other kids on you.

Cass catches your attention and signs, "you can come sit with us," from her spot on the couch. She then pats the empty seat next to her.

You thank her in ASL with a hand to your chin as you go take a seat next to her. Cassandra was quiet, having an easier time communicating through asl than out loud. It always made you smile on the rare occasion you got her hear her soft little voice, and to know she was comfortable enough to talk to you, but you had learned sign language specifically for her, wanting to make sure she was comfortable all the time.

You gently put an arm around her and kiss the side of her head, then you go to remove your arm, knowing she doesn't always like to be touched. But she stops you from letting go of the hug and leans against you, maybe she just knew that you needed it at the moment to help get your mind off Bruce but either way, she didn't let go so you didn't either.

Stephanie scoots closer to you, taking the other seat next to you and offers you a controller. "We're playing Mario Kart, you want to play a few rounds Mrs.Wayne?"

You laugh gently, "I'm afraid I'm a bit out of practice, all of you would easily kick my ass."

"Come on, pleeeaaaasssee mom," Tim joins in in begging you with his ex, turned best friend.

You laugh and take the controller, "fine I guess I'll try a few rounds."

"Yes!" Dick joins in, cheering you on as Babs gets things set up.

Tim had hotwired the two Wii's so all of you could play together without having to figure out how to do it online. So, the six of you were easily able to start a game and begin racing the many different tracks just having fun together as the kids knowingly distracted you from your worries.

It's a more than a few hours later when Bruce returns home. The kids had all gone down to the cave to get ready for patrol, and you had gone with them. They were about to head out when the roar of an engine cause everyone's attention and Bruce parked the bat mobile and got out, looking stressed and tired.

Dick goes over to him and tells him they're going to head out, and can cover things tonight.

Brice nods and doesn't argue, simply turning to look at you as the kids leave. He doesn't approach you until they've all left and you don't give him a choice but to hug you as you hug him.

"Do you want to change?" You ask, knowing he's obviously upset about something, but willing to be patient while he figures out what it is he needs to tell you.

"Sure, I'll change and we can go sit in our room," he says and kisses the top of your head before turning to get out of the batsuit.

It doesn't take him long to change, and the two of you head upstairs, hand in hand and take a seat on the couch in your bedroom. He just holds you for a while, obviously thinking through what he needs to tell you, and this only causes you more worry.

"Bruce, my love, you know you can tell me anything," you try and reassure him with a kiss on the cheek.

This reassurance works, as he finally speaks up, gently saying, "I have a son, he's 9."

This surprises you, and you don't exactly have a good response, you lean back away from him to look at his face as you quietly ask, "you have a biological son?"

"Yes, I didn't know until today, but he's 9... we've been together 11 years, my love-" this is when he begins to break his normally stoic demeanor.

This is also when you catch on to what he is saying. You had been with him at the time this child was conceived. That hurt. You turned to look away from him, not moving away but taking a moment to think.

There's a few minutes of silence before you speak, "how did it happen?"

You give him a chance to explain and he jumps on it, beginning to tell you what he knows. Starting with the fact that Thalia Al'Ghul was the mother, how she had apparently drugged him in order to have a child with him. His son had been raised by the League of Assassins, taught that he was the one to inherit the mantle of Batman.

It was... a lot. And it hurt to hear, especially due to the fact that you and Bruce had been unable to have a child of your own for many reasons. But, you turn to your husband, the man you were still head over heels for and say as gently as you can, "I'm not sure what I'm feeling right now but it isn't anger."

He looks at you and brushes your hair out of your face, "are you sure you're alright?" He's clearly still worried about his standing with you.

You gently lean to kiss him on the lips, "I'm not sure I'd call it alright, but we will be fine. My husband isn't a cheater, and that would be my biggest worry."

You can see more of the stress and worry leave his face as you speak and he pulls you into a tight hug. "I am so sorry my love. Thank you for giving me a chance to explain-"

You lean back from him once again, taking your hands to cup his cheeks. "Bruce, you didn't know. She drugged you and I trust you enough to know that's the truth. I'm going to need some time to get used to the idea, and figure out exactly how it is I am feeling. But promise me that we will be open and communicate about all of this as we get more information, deal?"

Bruce sighs in relief, "Deal," with that he wraps his arms around your waist and kisses you deeply.

It's at this point he informs you that Thalia had sent Damian, their son, to live with Bruce for a time. Damian would be coming the next morning and Bruce hadn't been able to have any say in it, barely able to convince them to wait long enough for him to talk to you first. It was yet another thing you could only describe as a lot but this was life, you had to roll with the punches or you'd never be able to move forward.

Two days later you still had yet to meet Damian. You were ninety-five percent sure it was because the boy was avoiding you. You sat eating breakfast and contemplating this when you hear someone behind you say, "Tt, you must be my father's harlot."

You raise your eyebrow and turn around to face the boy, "Harlot?"

"That is what my mother calls you," Damian says looking at you disgustedly.

You are so exhausted by this entire situation that the sass just slips out of you and you laugh. "I mean, that's one way to go about saying she's jealous of me because I have a ring and she doesn't."

Damian is clearly surprised by the fact that you just laughed off him calling you a harlot. He, "tt,"s again and just walks right back out of the kitchen, unwilling to admit you had surprised him.

You watch him leave, and he passes Bruce as he does. Once Damian is gone you shake your head and go back to your breakfast.

"I see you've met Damian," Bruce comments.

You offer him a slight smirk and a shake of your head, "yep, finally showed himself just to call me a harlot."

"A har-" Bruce starts, clearly outraged by the fact that anyone would dare call his beloved wife a harlot.

"Yeah," you laugh again, "he left just as fast because I laughed at the thought."

Bruce sighs, relaxing with how you had taken it, he takes a seat next to you and wraps you in a hug. "I'm glad that you didn't let him get to you."

"Yeah, though as far as introductions go, I think he's going to take some getting used too."

"Yeah, he's quite the character after being raised by the LoA."

You smile and lean against Bruce as you finish your food, "yeah, but eventually he'll have to figure out I'm just as stubborn as him for having put up with your shit for this long," you tease and he laughs.

It's a few hours later the next time you see Damian and he tries to insult you in yet another way, "you're weak, and would never be able to take anyone down. You aren't worthy of father."

This one is creative, you'll admit that but you shake your head. "I never claimed to be a fighter, if you'd stuck around earlier I could have told you that. Though, the first time I met your 'father," you say mocking his tone, "I kicked a green haired clown in the head so that has to count for something."

Damian once again just leaves, you weren't supposed to take these things so well, you were supposed to run off crying, not agree with him.

This goes on for a while, him trying to insult you and you just not having it. It goes on until he stops, knowing he'd have to find some other way to get under your skin. Meanwhile you try to get to the bottom of his behavior. Why does he feel like he needs to put you down in comparison to his mother and how can you show him he can trust you enough to not have to do that to keep a place in this family? It might take a while but you'd sure as hell figure it out.

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