#angsty ish

[suspiciouslackofclowns]

“Fuck’s your problem, Hagan?”

Billy cocks his head to the side with disinterest, eyes glazed over and red as he transparently sizes Tommy up. Lets his eyes wrack up and down his figure like he always seems to do when he’s around. Like he’s trying to figure something out.

Tommy huffs and shoves his hands into the pockets of his letterman, glancing briefly over at Munson on the other side of the campfire. Lounging in the dirt with his hair strewn messily across Steve’s lap.

“Yeah,” Eddie lilts. Shifts restlessly, stretching out like a bored cat until a hand cards into his hair. “This is kind of a private kickback.”

What he says earns a chuckle from Billy, but Steve is stone-faced. Staring up at Tommy with an unreadable expression that makes his skin start to crawl.

Just a ways behind the trio, the waves lap softly at the gravelly shore. Otherwise out of sight in the inky black darkness just beyond the reach of the light from the fire.

Tommy shifts his weight on his feet. Stares back at Steve.

They both know how fucked up this is. Granted, maybe Steve doesn’t see it as the flagrant mockery that it is, but instead an instance of moving on.

Beside Steve, Billy leans close. Pressed right up against him, like he’s trying to assume Steve’s perspective. To see what he sees. Think what he thinks.

Steve simply sighs.

“No idea what his problem is,” he says.

Tommy clenches his fists.

“Lover’s Lake?” he hisses.

On the ground, Steve rolls his eyes. Shoves his shoulder into Billy’s and stays leaned against him.

“He’s mad ‘cause this used to be our spot,” Steve murmurs.

This gets a rise out of Billy, who whistles as he loops an arm around Steve’s neck. Not yet connecting the full picture.

“Jealous, freckles?”

“Oh, he is,” Eddie chortles.

The two share a giggle, meanwhile Steve holds his stare.

There are words sitting on the air. Heavy and dark, billowing like the smoke between them. Steve was never very good at playing nice once he got a few puffs in.

Being under the influence makes him a real bitch.

“You should leave,” Steve says.

Plain and simple. The other two quiet down enough to turn their listening ears on, both looking up at Tommy with amusement, and it makes his skin burn with anger at the lack of understanding.

Tommy nods at Hargrove.

“I get him,” he says. Then gestures to Munson. “But this is a new low for you, isn’t it? I mean, you only keep him around for the free weed, right? That’s cold, even for you.”

Steve glares, removing his hand from Eddie’s hair and smoothing it down to rest over his collarbone.

“Funny,” Steve lilts.

“Shouldn’t you just take him about back and put him down? It’d be decent of you.”

“Oh, like I put you down?”

Tommy chuckles. Leans forward ever so slightly. Lowers his voice.

“Dead dogs don’t come crawling back.”

There’s nothing but the crackling from the fire and the distant sounds of the shore for a moment. Two moments.

Steve’s expression softens.

“Go home, Tommy.”

Now, there are no giggles, no smiles. Munson has a vacant look in his eye, and Billy braces himself to stand up. Ever ready to enforce Steve’s will at the drop of a hat.

Understanding.

Tommy holds his palms up in mock surrender, stepping back and spreading a smirk.

“I’ll go. Seems like you have loads to talk about.”

He can feel the burn of Steve’s glare on the back of his head after he turns to walk away, retreating into the darkness of the treeline.

Even after getting the last word, he knows that nothing he can say will cause enough upset to restore things to how they were. Can never subvert Steve enough to sow genuine disdain.

There are murmurs around the fire, soft-spoken words and kisses shared in the warmth. Gentle caresses and reassurances. Explanations.

They are a king, his knight, and his jester. Held up, safe and cozy within the sturdy walls of a castle, after all.

And Tommy is cold. Shivering as he treks back to his truck parked out by the road, hands shoved in his pockets, eyes misty with bitterness.

Knowing he never had a place at all.

-

Loosely inspired by this post by @plistommy :0)

#tommy hagan #steve harrington #billy hargrove #eddie munson #harringroveson #steddilly #metalsandwich #stommy #angsty ish #I’m a sucker for betrayed jealous tommy #like it’s his fault but he’s so upsetti spaghetti about it #my writing #ficlet #unedited

[pigeonpeach]

Damsel in the Winery

Diluc x fmab reader

Part 1 for now

Warnings: slow burn except i am impatient so its more like mediocre burn, reader is traumatized but so is diluc, theyll get together eventually or something

A/n: i managed to finish this in time for diluc’s birthday so yipee! Let me know if there’s weird formatting because it is copy pasted from my google doc. Also this will be multiple parts if i get the motivation to even finish it!

As a maid, it might be unprofessional to be so affectionate to your boss, but you couldn’t help it. You had been a prisoner held by skirmishers when he came in his blazing glory to your rescue. Your encounter with the Dark Knight however didn’t end, you could never return home due to being on the Fatui’s watchlist for an unpaid debt your father passed down to you. Out of the kindness of his heart, he offered you a job at the winery, under his protection, you would be able to work while under his protection, to say you were thankful was an understatement.

So now that his birthday was coming up, you wanted to thank him. Diluc meant a lot to you, platonically of course. Even though Diluc is the very embodiment of masculine beauty, a gentleman, and a savior: you still refuse to let any buds of romance form between you two. You are his maid after all, even if your meeting was anything but professional, you still try to live up to that title to your best.

“Miss Adelinde?” You asked nervously “What does Master Diluc usually like for his birthday.” She seemed hesitant, from her expression, it seemed like a sensitive topic.

“Oh well, Master Diluc doesn’t value material or expensive things that much. He prefers a gift from the heart mostly. But he never does get rid of a gift he receives from someone he cares about.” She answered all while pondering herself. “Although he specified to me that we shouldn’t do anything too much for his birthday this year.” You felt worried about that.

“Does.. He not like his birthday?” you asked cautiously. She nodded.

“It is a sore topic for him. Maybe he’d tell you someday but I’d not pry if I were you. He lost someone very close to him on that day as well. This year is the first time that the day and date align perfectly with that incident.” You knew Adelinde to be well-meaning, so you trusted her and decided you wouldn’t pry further. You of all people know what it's like to lose someone.

“Thank you regardless. Do you have any gift recommendations?” You inquired.

“Hmm… I’ll get you a list.”

The nights were the hardest parts of your job. As a full-time maid, you worked 24/7 at your insistence. You didn’t exactly have any other life worth going back to now. Your name on a list, your family in the grave, your friends all scattered about the nations, any resemblance of a life worth living was truly here, in the winery you sought refuge in. It wasn’t horrible though, cleaning was quite relaxing for you, and the staff and your coworkers had gotten along nicely. But Nights were a little more difficult, that was when Master Diluc would dawn his cape and set out that night to rid the encampments of fatui and hilichurls alike. Sometimes he’d have intel on your situation. Sometimes it’d be bad or good. Tonight you didn’t need the news at all when you saw his blood-soaked clothes.

“Master Diluc!” You said worried. His mask hides his expression as he lets you take his coat.

“It's not my blood.” He answered quickly. You took a while to understand before feeling a little unnerved.

“Shouldn’t I still check for any injuries? Miss Adelinde said I shouldn’t let you off so easily.” You placed the coat in a bucket of water as she advised, blood is easier to wash out when you soak the clothes in water while it's fresh.

“It won’t be necessary.”

You helped him to his room, taking his blood-soaked clothes to the basement, leaving it to absorb the water so it’d be easier to clean, but for now, you were still sure he had to have some injuries. You went back upstairs to stand in the doorway, he had a new set of pants on at least as you tried to look for any blood coming from him.

“Master Diluc.. You’re sure you aren’t hurt?” You asked anxiously. He turned to you, the candles in this room only made him look all the more handsome.

“I’m just a little sore is all. Just prepare some of Adelindes special melatonin teas and you can go to your quarters for the night.” He said. But you felt unsatisfied. It wasn’t like you liked working, but you liked helping people, especially the person who saved you in more ways than one.

“If you wish.”

You fret over everything, a trait that is both a positive and a con. You notice flaws and mistakes easily but you also spend a lot of time in doubt and anxiety. You knew Adelinde, and Elzer’s drink of choice by heart now. Adelinde in particular preferred a simple coffee and milk combo with cream on the top for extra sweetness for her day, ezler liked a simple espresso with a small amount throughout the day, and Diluc rarely ever had caffeine, often just letting Adelinde pick his drink. You had worked as a barista once so you were familiar with the preparations. Today you adorned Adelinde’s drink with cat-shaped biscuits, you wanted to use some of the cookie cutters she’d just recently purchased and they came out wonderfully. You approached her with the tray with a polite smile on your face.

“Very good, now could you take it up to Master Diluc?” She said. You felt your heart dropped. Had you known it was for him you wouldn’t have made it so… silly looking.

“Uh.. shouldn’t I change it first? I could make a new batch or something.” You said nervously. Adelinde shook her head.

“It's best not to keep him waiting, besides he won’t mind.” She smiled as she noticed the cat-theming in the latte art and the biscuits. You sighed as you walked up the stairs.

Diluc stared at the tray for a moment, his normal face faltering slightly.

“Is it not to your standards? I could change it if you like.” You offered, the thought of disappointing him seemed more crushing than it should’ve. Your anxiety didn’t falter when he looked up at you.

“It's… where did you get the cutters for the biscuits?” he asked.

“O,h Adelinde found them… She said they were nostalgic or something…Do you not like them?” You asked timidly. He shook his head.

“They look wonderful, thank you. You are dismissed.” He said, taking one into his mouth. As you turned to leave, you briefly saw a smile on his face.

“Diluc and Kaeya used to love these cookie cutters. This one was Kaeya’s favorite when he was little.” Adelinde reminisced. You noticed it was the very cat cutter you used. “Diluc’s was this owl, but it's a dove, He didn’t know his birds that well back then.” You smiled at the thought of seeing a little Diluc call every bird he saw an owl.

“That's quite cute actually. I used to just call birds, feathery bastards. My dad always said that when he’d chase the crows off our crops so I picked it up from him.” You said. Adelinde chuckled.

“Yes, the birds here can be quite the pests at times. Diluc decided to set up a bird feeder nearby so they’d be attracted to the seeds more than the grapes, so far it has worked. But they love the rotten fruits. It makes them a little tipsy.” Adelinde added. You snickered at the imagery.

“Even the birds are alcoholics in Mondstadt I suppose, no wonder the winery business is so successful.” You joked, she laughed at that.

Today was one of the few days you got to go outside. You had accompanied Adelinde to the city during a period in which most of the Fatui would be outside the city. As comforting and homely as Dawn Winery had become, you were glad for the change in scenery. The city was beautiful, with flowers blooming, and birds chirping. People seemed so friendly here.

“Now, we’ll need to get some fresh boars from the Hunters here, Master Diluc is quite the carnivore.” She said. You nodded, already carrying baskets full of all sorts of stuff. She noticed your struggle as she hummed. “I knew we should’ve brought that wagon. We still have ways to go before we’re done.” You dawned a brave smile as if to reassure her you could take it. It wasn’t like the items were heavy, just that combined they were starting to take a toll on your arms. “Ah, there it is,” Adelinde spoke as you followed her, your heart fell when you saw the size of the boars the stand offered. Packed in salt and what you figured was ice, the boars the hunters were proudly selling were the size of a toddler and certainly weighed more than one. They were big, and even with your hands empty, you doubted you could carry them. You couldn’t let Adelinde do so either, it would be wrong to let her.

“Is… there not smaller ones?” You asked nervously. Adelinde shook her head.

“It’s easier to preserve one big boar than a bunch of little ones. Although your hands are getting full..” You shook your head, not wanting to admit defeat so easily. “Sweetheart, I appreciate your dedication but I can tell you’re getting overwhelmed, let me take some of the bags won’t you?”

“I-it fine Miss Adelinde!” You proclaimed bravely.

“There's no shame in admitting defeat, I’ll ask one of the boys to help us take the boar home. I’m sure they won’t mind if it means a little payment.” Adelinde took a basket from you as you sighed.

“I didn’t expect to see you out today.” A familiar voice spoke from behind making you jolt in shock. You sighed in relief as you realized it was just Diluc.

“Ah Master Diluc, your timing is perfect, would mind helping the new maid with our groceries? I couldn’t find the wagon today so the poor thing has been carrying everything since we arrived.” Adelinde asked.

“It shouldn’t be a problem. I just finished my work at the bar, I was heading home actually.” He said with a polite smile. You were a little relieved but also embarrassed.

“Oh uh. These ones are the heaviest... I can carry the rest..” You handed him the heavier ones. He took them without complaint, although his gloved hands briefly touched yours making you a little flushed.

“I’ll take two of the biggest you offer.” Adelinde stepped to the front.

“The usual right? We saved our two biggest boars just for you as requested.” The hunter smiled proudly as Adelinde nodded, you were appalled by the size of those boars, both animals were bigger than a dog!

“I’ll carry them don’t worry,” Diluc said to you. You were still not at ease.

“You’re... Sure you can handle the... By yourself?” You asked amazed at his confidence. He chuckled.

“I assure you I am more than capable of such.” Your worries faded however when you saw his eyes, Diluc was a stern and stoic man, you had never seen him so relaxed and… soft... His eyes held a fondness that made you melt internally... The way he looked at you at that moment could be enough to make you fall head over heels for him right there.

True to his word, he carried the boars home effortlessly, The entire time you stuck to his side making sure he was okay.

“Thank you for your help back there.” You said to him. “I-I’m sorry I couldn’t carry them myself..”

“There’s no need for an apology. You are as much of a guest as an employee. You don’t always have to push yourself so far. Although you have been doing a wonderful job so far.” He said. He must be in a good mood, you rarely ever see him like that.

“I just want to repay you is all… I don’t think there will ever be a day I’ll feel like I’ve repaid my debt to you.”

“I assure you, you don’t owe me anything. I saved you out of the kindness of my heart, not for some payment.”

“Well, I mean beyond that.” You felt a little more bold by his tone. “You’ve done more than just save me. You’ve given me a new life, a home, and a purpose. I.. I will always be eternally grateful for that.” You smiled while looking at him directly. You noticed him grow more stiff as he averted his gaze. Had.. you said something wrong?

“I’m glad you feel that way. Just don’t overwork yourself for my sake.” He cleared his throat. “Now if you’ll excuse me I’ll be in my office, I forgot I have more papers to fill out.” He seemed to exit so hastily, you couldn’t help but feel worried. Had you made him uncomfortable? Should you apologize? Should you give him space?

You had gone shopping alone this time. You had gone with Conner as he went to the city, he was doing some business thing with Cat’s Tail so you parted ways. You couldn’t help but enjoy the breeze as you explored the stands.

“Excuse me miss?” A little girl said. You looked down and saw a little girl with a flower booth. “Please be careful of the table, I don’t want any of the flowers to be knocked off.”

“Oh I’m sorry-” You backed away instinctively, unknowingly bumping into someone. “Oh my apologies sir I didn’t…look. Where… I was. Going…” Your heart dropped as you came face to face with a Fatui agent.

“It’d be good for you to practice having a basic understanding of your surroundings.” He had an annoyed tone to his voice as he marched off. Meanwhile, you stood frozen, if you fled, you would only look more suspicious, but if you stuck around he might realize who you are. Your heart raced as you quickly tried to hide behind a large group, peeking your head to see if you changed his mind or something. Things had been so comfortable that you had forgotten what it had been like to be imprisoned. You didn’t want to go back. No, you couldn’t.

“Miss? Miss?” The child had followed you from your booth. “Are you okay? Did that man do something to you?” Great, even a child could spot your fear, no doubt could anyone else.

“N-no I’m fine.. I’m just.. Overwhelmed. I.. need to get back..” Your voice grew more and more shaky. You trembled and shook as you looked frantically around. The realization you would only be drawing more attention to yourself made you freak out even more. “I-.. I.. I’m just… Wh-where’s Cat’s Tail? M- My friend is there right now. I-i need to find him..” You said.

“Oh, it's just around the corner. Do you want me to walk with you?” She asked.

“Oh no I don’t want you to risk your stall. I can do so myself.” You lied.

“It's really close to my booth actually, just follow me.”

You had successfully made it to Cat’s Tail. Conner was nowhere in sight as you tried to find a spot to be alone in. The atmosphere was cheery at least. You quickly found a seat in the corner and sat in it. Just trying to regain your breath. You tried to calm yourself down, but panicking would only make yourself more suspicious and noticeable. A gentle meow interrupted your thoughts. An orange tabby stood at your feet, looking at you expectantly. You relaxed a little as it crawled into your lap, brushing its face against your own. You smiled as you began to pet it. Its soft fur relaxes you.

“Did.. something happen today?” Adelinde asked as you entered the manor. Connor himself had been concerned when you asked to leave sooner. But you had been shut about what happened. You just wanted to hole yourself in the guest bedroom and never surface again.

“I… just want... To be alone for a moment..” You said rushing past her and to your room. Your pulse was only heightened with every quick step up the stairs. Your mind only returned to you when the slam of your door echoed, you back against it, and you locked it quickly as you ducked under the bed. Logic and reasoning had been lost, you felt nothing but fear. The images of that cage, the threatening voices of the skirmishers, how they’d hold their weapons to your head and joke around… You couldn’t go back. No, you couldn’t stand the thought.

A knock sounded at your door. “I know you’re upset but If you want to talk I’m more than willing to listen.” You heard Adelinde say. You tried to speak but your throat ached, you hadn’t even realized you were crying until now.

“M’ fine…” You managed to choke out. You didn’t know if she could hear it. The only sound now aside from your sobs was her hurried steps as she walked away. You waited, unsure of what. For the Fatui to bust into you and drag you out again? For the world to swallow you and to disappear into the Abyss and then never surface again?

“Can I come in?” A voice interrupted your thoughts, Diluc. You weren’t sure how to react, but you figured if anyone knew what to do, it’d be him. The door opens with a creak, your body pressed behind it as if that would conceal it completely. He stood there with a more gentle expression. “What happened today? Conner said you had a nervous breakdown.” Your voice hadn’t returned to you, nor had your mind. You just caved and brought him in for a hug, forgetting how he usually doesn’t like to be touched, but in that moment you cried and clung to him like when he had saved you.

That memory was strong enough to where the smell of charred flesh and fire suffocated the air, you even remembered how he reached his hand into the opened cage, as you curled to the back of it wondering if he was a savior or merely a new warden. “Did.. someone spot you?” His voice interrupted your internal flashback. You pondered, you don’t know if that agent had recognized you or if he thought nothing of your encounter. You may be breaking down for absolutely nothing right now.

“I.. bumped into a fatui agent today… he didn’t say anything about… me just a rude comment.. I.. don’t want to go back. I don’t want to-”

“You won’t be. They’re never going to get their hands on you again, I promise.” His hands reciprocated the hug, he held you tighter, your face to his chest, your nose suffocated in his scent, a slight ashy smell and cologne that was too fancy to be identifiable to you. His hold on you was tight but strong, and at that moment you felt. Safe. Your heart slowed down, and the tears on your cheek were absorbed by the fabric of his shirt.

“I.. I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve you.” You mumbled.You couldn’t really see his face, but he shuffled you two so he could close the door behind you two, allowing you two privacy.

“Its not about deserving of it, you deserve to be happy, you deserve to be safe. They have no right. You don’t deserve the pain they cause you, no one does.” He replied.

“Diluc?”

“Yes?”

“You never did tell me, why do you hate the fatui so much? Its not like they’re a good organization but most nobles sit in their mansions and let the populace suffer, not that I’d expect you to be that heartless its just…I’m curious as to your reasoning.” You looked up at him slightly, his expression shifted to one of grief. You knew in that moment what had happened. “You don’t have to tell me.. They took someone from you.. Didn’t they?”

“It was more than that… But you are right. I’ve lived my life with the hero instinct drilled into me, yet the people who did so stood back and did nothing while the Fatui got off scott free. You haven’t heard me rant about the Knights yet so I’m not surprised you didn’t know that tid bit.” He said. Neither of you pulled away in that moment.

“They killed my dad… He couldn’t pay his debts and the fucking agents killed him by ‘accident’ during their interrogation. They then insisted I pay. I couldn’t get away, but they’ve seized all my assets. My childhood home, my belongings, my mother’s necklace… its all gone. I have no life outside of this manor now.” You confessed. He frowned in concern.

“Not even friends?”

“Most didn’t want to get involved… I can’t blame them if I’m honest.. It's scary.. But I wish they had at least..tried..” You thought about the neighbors who had watched, who listened to your pleas but remained statues. Some vengeful part hoped they never know if you’re alive so they live with guilt for the rest of their lives, but ultimately you just hoped they were safer than you were right now.

“I understand that..” Diluc said. You looked into his eyes as you saw the same emotions you felt, rage, concern, grief, and loneliness. “I wished they had shared my sentiment as I did.. How can someone call themself a knight when they side with the enemy of their nation just to avoid controversy..” he hissed. You held him a little tighter.

“I don’t understand that either…”

“I was raised side by side with the knights a constant presence in my life.. I was all set to become a captain... And they expected me to let my father’s death slide for the sake of diplomacy… Those wretched bastards can rot… I will not let the innocent perish and suffer as they stand pretty and stagnant... If the fatui did take you, I’d chase them to the ends of the world to save you.” You pulled away to look at his face.

“But.. what now? Should I stay inside completely for the meantime?”

“I’ll ask my informants to check on the activity to see if they’re searching for you, until then you shouldn’t leave the manor at all. If you want anything I’ll be happy to provide you with it. I believe at least a month or so would be the minimum.” Diluc answered. You felt uneasy, the thought of being inside for an entire month. It wasn’t appealing but it was necessary.

“I.. I promise I won’t slack off..”

“You won’t have to work. I can’t imagine forcing you to work through such horror. We can lighten your load if you wish.”

“No no, it’ll help me feel more at ease if I have something to do.” you assured him.

“If you insist.

#genshin imagines #genshin x y/n #genshin impact #angsty ish #not my best work #diluc x you #diluc ragnivindr x reader #diluc x reader #multiple parts

[fusionnukacola]

same anon who asked for the companions favorite songs, could you do what songs fit the companions this time? thanks again <333

Of course anon! I love asks like these. I'm super tired so I'll list the lyrics and songs, not explanations for now. Sorry :(

Cait: Cinderella Man by Eminem

"There's a storm comin' that the weatherman couldn't predict I start to bug, prick, you better flee, 'cause I get ticked It's a wrap, I was down, when I was down I was kicked I got up, I'm back to punch you to the ground, you're tricked"

Curie: Fourth Of July by Sufjan Stevens

"Sitting at the bed with the halo at your head Was it all a disguise, like Junior High Where everything was fiction, future, and prediction Now, where am I? My fading supply

Did you get enough love, my little dove Why do you cry?"

Paladin Danse: My Body Is A Cage by Arcade Fire

"I'm standing on a stage Of fear and self-doubt It's a hollow play But they'll clap anyway

My body is a cage That keeps me from dancing with the one I love But my mind holds the key

You're standing next to me My mind holds the key

I'm living in an age That calls darkness light Though my language is dead Still the shapes fill my head"

Deacon: Freaks by Surf Curse

"My head is filled with parasites Black holes cover up my eyes I dream of you almost every night Hopefully, I won't wake up this time"

Desdemona: The President Has A Sex Tape by K.Flay

"The president has a sex tape The oceans all dried up The devil got the dealer The dealer got the dollar Don't tell me I can live off love The president has a sex tape Your daughters aren't safe at night I got a feeling that my body is owned A feeling that my body ain't mine"

Hancock: The Other Side Of Paradise by Glass Animals

"Bye bye baby blue I wish you could see the wicked truth Caught up in a rush, it's killing you Screaming at the sun, you blow into Curled up in a grip when we were us Fingers in a fist like you might run I settle for a ghost I never knew Superparadise I held on to But I settle for a ghost"

MacCready: Ain't No Rest For The Wicked by Cage The Elephant

"Oh, there ain't no rest for the wicked Money don't grow on trees I got bills to pay I got mouths to feed There ain't nothing in this world for free I know I can't slow down I can't hold back Though you know I wish I could Oh, no there ain't no rest for the wicked Until we close our eyes for good"

Nick Valentine: Time Waits For No One by Freddie Mercury

"Time waits for no one We've got to build this world together Or we'll have no more future at all Because time It waits for nobody Nobody

You don't need me to tell you what's gone wrong You know what's going on And it seems to me we've not cared enough Or confided in each other at all It seems like we've all got our backs against the wall

Time waits for nobody Time waits for no one We've got to trust one another Or we'd have no more future at all"

Piper: Cigarette Daydreams by Cage The Elephant

"You can drive all night Lookin' for the answers in the pourin' rain You wanna find peace of mind Lookin' for the answer

Funny how it seems like yesterday As I recall, you were lookin' out of place Gathered up your things and slipped away No time at all, I followed you into the hall Cigarette daydream You were only seventeen Soft speak with a mean streak Nearly brought me to my knees"

Preston Garvey: ...History Has Its Eyes On You.... from Hamilton..

"I was younger than you are now When I was given my first command I led my men straight into a massacre I witnessed their deaths firsthand I made every mistake and felt the shame rise in me And even now I lie awake, knowing history has its eyes on me History has its eyes on me"

X6-88: Oh No! By MARINA

"I know exactly why I walk and talk like a machine I'm now becoming my own self-fulfilled prophecy Oh! Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no, oh!

One track mind, one track heart If I fail, I'll fall apart Maybe it is all a test 'Cause, I feel like I'm the worst So I always act like I'm the best"

Elder Maxson: Viva La Vida by Coldplay. I can't help myself

"It was a wicked and wild wind Blew down the doors to let me in Shattered windows and the sound of drums People couldn’t believe what I’d become Revolutionaries wait For my head on a silver plate Just a puppet on a lonely string Oh who would ever want to be king?"

#angsty ish #didn't include codsworth or strong sorry :( #had no clue what i would put for them #long post #long ass post #cait #fallout 4 #fallout #fallout 4 companions react #paladin danse #cait fallout 4 #deacon #preston garvey #piper wright #nick valentine #curie #x6-88 #desdemona #elder maxson #arthur maxson #maccready #hancock #fallout 4 companions

[a-fan-of-yours]

u can find part 1 here

=D

#yumalia #angsty ish #have it! #=D #:D #and i think this part cost me my english grades =) #but i really wanted to finish it properly #angst #wakfu #wakfu amalia #wakfu yugo #yugo the eliatrope

[insecxreasalwqys]

actions > words

In this au, when the k of diamonds happened(read my short canon thing i made as a summary of the k of dims which was my first post), they were friends. (in the thing i wrote, they werent friends, because, once again, they werent friends canonically.) this is kinda angsty btw, i was also inspired by ep 3 kinda.

“Thank you.” Were the taunting last words of kuzuryu. It was like chishiya couldnt move. He froze there, looking at the seat his friend was sitting in. The only person who cared. The only person who was always there to hear him out. To make him feel important. Something his parents or anyone else around him did. Was it him? Something so bad, so wrong, that he did, for this to happen. Nothing good had ever came for the past 21 years of his life, and once something good happens, it gets taken away from him? He didnt know what to do. He got up, grabbed one of the tablets, and left. Before he left, though, he looked down at it. “Game clear” the screen read. And as he may have not realized, a tear fell down on it. Why did everything happen to him? Kuzuryu died for chishiya, even when chishiya begged him not to. Chishiya felt he didnt deserve to live, and he told Kuzuryu that. But kuzuryu died, asking chishiya to live a better life. To get out, and to live a better, happier life. He died believing that chishiya would. He asked him to watch his back, and move past this. “Just, dont, i dont know, die.” Kuzuryu laughed before his last words, aswell. “Dont die, and move past it.” Chishiya repeated to himself, over, and over again. If there was anything he was going to do, was exactly what keiichi said. Its what his friend wouldve wanted. There was no pointing in mourning him (in chishiyas opinion) , if he couldnt even fulfill his own friends wishes. Actions speak louder than words.   Now, we will give you a choice. Either stay in the borderlands, and become a citizen, or, go back into the real world. Chishiya knew exactly what he was going to pick. “I will go back.” Chishiya said, loudly, before anyone else could speak. “I will leave too.” Niragi stated. “Hmm, i think ill go.” Some other dude said. Most people chose to go back, but these 2 psychos decided to stay.  Sometimes, he still thought about it. He tried not to. But it wasnt really horrible. Whenever he was sad, or unmotivated, he would think of kuzuryu, and that would motivate him. He swore to himself to never, ever, forget what a great man kuzuryu was. And chishiya would forever look up at him.

Chishiya was the only person to ever come to kuzuryus funeral. But he would. Every, single, year, of his life. He put down flowers next to kuzuryus grave and lit some incense. Looking down at all the flowers he put down throughout the past 10 years. He was now 31. “Thank you.”

This was short, and kinda cheesy ik, but have an amazing day/night!

#alice in borderland #Chishiya Shuntaro #aib chishiya #shuntaro chishiya #aib Kuzuryu #kuzuryu keiichi #keiichi kuzuryu #canon divergence #angsty ish

[artiststarme]

Wayne didn’t know why the world hated his nephew. Through his eyes, he saw the same innocent boy that was dropped on the stoop of his trailer with only a garbage bag and a black lunchbox to his name.

He certainly didn’t see the murderer and cult leader that the rest of Hawkins saw. Or the freak that the world would come to know him as. Eddie Munson was the softest kid Wayne had ever known; crying when bugs got stepped on, cuddling stray kittens at the trailer park, and adopting all of the outcasts that the preppy bitchasses turned on.

Even though Eddie was now 20 and struggling to graduate high school for a third time, Wayne loved him. He was the light of his life and the reason he woke up every day. Wayne’s brother may have screwed up everything in his life but the one good thing he brought to the world was Eddie.

When that Dustin kid gave Wayne Eddie’s guitar pick necklace, he felt his heart die a little bit. The love deep in his soul flickered out to join Eddie wherever he was. But still, he moved on. He cleared Eddie’s name and helped the kids pin the murders on the Creel boy. Wayne kept going like his purpose in life hadn’t died in those earthquakes.

And on one random day when a knock on the trailer door turned out to be a scarred and an emaciated Eddie, his heart started beating again. Because his boy was back, he wasn’t gone after all.

(Wayne didn’t mind the large flock of teens that came with Eddie’s return. He didn’t mind the fluffy haired kid that always held Eddie and kissed his face. No, with his boy back in his life, Wayne had more than enough love for all of them.)

#I can’t decide if this is mushy or angsty hmmm #stranger things #steddie #ish #steve harrington #eddie munson #wayne munson #uncle wayne

[weisscoldglare]

hey so it's time for angst

#blake belladonna #weiss schnee #rwby #ruby rose #monochrome #checkmating #yang xiao long #neopolitan #penny polendina #cinder fall #vol 8 ending ish #angsty #idunno #coldglareshares #idek #blake x weiss #weiss x blake

[anonymouscheeses]

Day 13: Abstraction

I'm not sorry.

#the amazing digital circus #amazing digital circus #tadc ragatha #tadc fanart #tadc pomni #tadc art #digital art #art #fanart #artists on tumblr #buttonblossom #jesterdoll #ragapom #circus yuri #digital yuri #tadc abstraction #i dont really make angsty-ish stuff #also. for that one anon :>

[imfailingmyacademics]

Blurred Reality

#I discovered the smudge brush. #>:D #It STILL took me a whole hour #Why are all of my drawings blue ish that's funny I don't like blue much. But dull blue is the angsty colour #bsd #bsd dazai osamu #bsd nakahara chuuya #bsd osamu dazai #bsd chuuya nakahara #bsd fanart #rikasart #I don't know what's happening in the drawing

[drowning-in-webnovel-chapters]

Just a pattern I've noticed

#angsty canon -> soft fanfic #soft(ish) canon -> angsty fanfic #tcf #orv #trash of the count's family #omniscient reader #omniscient reader's viewpoint #lout of the counts family #fanfics #fandom culture #if you've read 1000 years of life and compared it to literally almost any orv fic you know what Im talking about

[nadiasna7]

"You're gonna break my heart..." "I'll try my best to keep it safe."

I just find it funny that Steve has a reputation of a womanizer (kinda). But he's *very* loyal to the people he cares for. And when he falls in love, he really falls... And I have this idea that Eddie is apprehensive at first because Steve may not take it as seriously as he does. Little did he know...

#stranger things #steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #IDK IF IT MAKES SENSE #I WAS TIPSY WHEN I DREW IT #still tipsy #soooooo #yeah have this little angsty-ish idea

[bl00doodle]

DOODELS

#my art #tryignt o do sm shit help i wanma draw and finish things so baddd #the brown sketches r me crying @ the phrase 'to be loved is to be changed' i wanna make a sad emo angsty comic abt shadows loss and pain an #still endong up with a happy life bc. 🧍‍♂️ fuck i want that for myself too #THE 2NDD... MY SKY PIRATE GRANDMA MARIA AU 🫶🫶🫶🫶 basically shes super inspired by dola from castle in thsky lol #shes putting makeup on shad bc hes going on his first date ever.... #in his 50yr immortal ish ageless life hes going on a date and maria will damn sure make sure hes gonna have a nice one #ehehehe guess whos hes going on a date w....👁👁(obvious) #uhhhh the cat is just older blaze leik burnin blaze inspired by her concept art #one of her hair styles is like fire and im like. thats fuckin cool!! #sHE GETS STRIPED AND GETS FWUFFY WHEN SHES OLDER bc i think its kyut 🫶 #makes her related to big the cat ehehehe alt dimension shit or smhtn idk im not thinking anymore #oh fuck i forgot to tag the charas #sonic the hedgehog #maria robotnik #eggman #shadow the hedgehog #blaze the cat #amy rose #sonic chao #uhhh it uink thqts it #sowowiwjekwo #sowwy its a mess

[curapicas]

CXS: Shut up I'm trying to think

LG: *smiles smittenly about it*

#link click #this man is so whipped he's like ''aaaw he's telling me to shut up'' #I take no credit for finding this someone pointed this out on twitter #shiguang #ish #shiguang daili ren #ep 5.5 is about a married couple but I won't tell you which #I'm also posting this bc the amount of notes the angsty posts I do makes me wanna eat GLASS why do we suffer so much

[puyoupuyou]

⚠️cw // blood / amputation / severed limb

wisdom, courage, and the goddess statue

gouache on tiny cardstock comms for bluedreams on twitter!

#the legend of zelda #tears of the kingdom #loz #totk #loz fanart #totk fanart #traditional art #gouache #art commisions #blood #hehehe it’s always fun to work on angsty and horror-ish subjects

[doubledyke]

dissociatED ch. 3

edd makes a confession

The contents of an overflowing black grocery bag poured into a pile on Ed’s paint speckled project table. Eddy gave the bag a final shake for good measure before tossing it and a lengthy receipt to the floor. The biggest perk of hanging out at Ed’s after school was that they never had to worry about cleaning up before they left- though that never stopped Edd from doing a cursory trash collection at the end of the night.

“Bon appétit, boys.” The shortest teen pronounced flatly after having first dibs at the avalanching mountain of snacks. He then flopped onto what was left of Ed’s mattress and dug a Game Boy Advance from one of his generous pockets. With a handful of sour gummies crammed into his gob, he listened for the usual jingle as the device powered on.

The lump was next in line to make his selections and went straight to work, stacking bag after crinkling bag of 2 for $1 treats in the crook of his arm. Once satisfied with his haul, he spun around daintily on his big toe, but was halted mid-pirouette by the waifish boy waiting patiently behind him. Edd toppled to the floor with a surprised yelp and flinched as packages slipped from Ed's clutches onto his face.

"Sorry, Double Dee." In one fell swoop, he was returned to his standing position by the herculean strength of Ed's free arm.

“That's quite alright, Ed- ED! What in heaven's name are those?!” he exclaimed, spotting the contraband just as it was unsubtly tucked behind Ed’s back. Lips pursed and arms crossed, he flashed The Look. 

“Really, Ed. Butterscotch disks?” His skinny neck snapped toward the bed to address the one who'd surely been the mastermind. With a voice as artificially sweet as the various treats that littered the floor, he resumed his questioning. “Eddy? Why, pray tell, would you make the purchase of goods containing butterscotch knowing Ed’s allergy to the confectionery?”

After he paused his game, Eddy’s unamused glare traveled slowly from his accuser to his accomplice, then back.

“It was I, Double Dee.” Ed’s noodle head hung shamefully, a jutting bottom lip garnering little sympathy from the room. “The siren of scorched butter beckons me with her syrupy serenade!” A fake sob punctuated his surprising use of syllables. 

“Ed, I only ask that if you’re planning on ingesting potentially injurious indulgences to at least provide some notice! You’re lucky mister, that I, for one, have learned from your history of impulsivity, and keep a topical antihistamine in my bag for times like these. However, there may come a day when I won’t be around to-”

The diatribe was thankfully cut off by the timely roar of a muffler-less Buick Estate approaching the house. Eddy glanced up at Edd who in turn looked at the remaining member of their trio. Ed stared a thousand yards ahead while he tore open a pouch of Pop Rocks and emptied it into his mouth. The teens waited in silence as the wagon steadied to a rumble in the driveway before sputtering out when the engine was cut. A car door was heard creaking open and slamming shut, followed by footsteps that squeaked across the floorboards overhead.

“Welp, dad’s home. May I be excused, Double Dee?” Carbonated sugar crystals exploded off his tongue as he spoke. Edd took a step back and raised a finger, but before he could offer his pardon, the perpetually sticky boy was clambering up the stairs to attend his nightly roundtable reprimand. Ed remained outwardly unaffected for being the person his family used as an emotional punching bag. It was nothing new, and as disturbing as it was to his friends, they’d learned not to harp on it. Still, Edd's chest tightened with guilt for eating into a rare moment of peace with a well-meaning but unnecessary scolding. He managed to stave off a further spiral by vowing to apologize later. 

Before retreating to his usual spot on the old blue chair, he sorted through the mess of snacks on the table. To his pleasant surprise, Eddy had taken the time to locate his special request: unsalted dry roasted edamame. A giddy peek at the bed found two eyes peering back at him over the handheld console until they darted back to the tiny pixelated world on the screen.  

“Thank you, Eddy.” He flashed a weak smile and sat cautiously on the decrepit recliner, wondering if this would be the night it finally collapsed. With his weight fully settled, he breathed a weary sigh of relief then sluggishly rummaged around his satchel for a source of cerebral stimulation. On quite the rebellious streak as of late, his eyes shifted scandalously as he thumbed past his homework folder and opted for a decidedly more recreational selection. He settled as comfortably as he could to begin yet another read through of Finnegans Wake.

By page five he realized he’d just been staring at the blocks of text without processing their deeply ensconced meaning. The exposed plywood digging into the small of his back was only partly to blame for his distraction. Being alone with Eddy these days was rare and resulted in an unavoidable onslaught of complex thoughts and emotions.

Three years feels like an eternity when you’re a kid. But the collective trauma caused by the events of the summer before 8th grade remained evergreen in Edd’s restive brain. Much like everyone else in the neighborhood, he’d been shell-shocked by the revelation of Eddy’s abuse at the hands of the man he misguidedly idolized. The image of his friend, unguarded and gored took months to shake. It was made all the more difficult by his own incessant replaying of the tender moment the two shared immediately after the carnage.

He wondered what Eddy felt when reflecting on the overt display of affection. Did he look back on that moment with the same warmth? Did he look back on it at all?

An eerie quiet loomed over Rethink Avenue after the incident. Since his painfully public humiliation, Eddy left his days of bunco artistry behind and seemed to be exploring his newfound individuality- or so Edd hoped.

Despite their initial outpouring of empathy, the kids struggled to maintain a tolerance for Eddy once it was clear that his riley temperament wasn’t as easily dropped. Ed and Edd didn’t mind of course; they loved Eddy for the firebrand that he always was. The trio was closer than ever, and weren’t particularly bothered by their largely unchanged status as outcasts. Some things had changed, however. It wasn’t long before Edd noticed a disparity in how he viewed his two closest friends. He and Ed were still akin to brothers, offering comfort and protection from their less than ideal home lives.

But "brother" no longer seemed an appropriate label for Eddy; thinking back, he wasn’t positive it had ever been. Eddy often teased that they were “partners in crime”, prompting Edd to roll his eyes in tepid disapproval. Now, with the so-called crime behind them, did that mean they were just... partners?

At first, this shift in perception was easy enough to shrug off as another fleeting infatuation- after all, he still had a bit of a thing for Nazz. But the passage of time did nothing to sway this new sentiment. By now he’d long given up trying to deny the dangerous appeal of Eddy’s casual insubordination, the bizarre charm in his audacity, his inexplicably endearing immaturity. Not to mention how fetched Edd was by his patchy goatee and trendy hoop earring.

Suddenly everything Eddy said or did was under scrutiny for some implicit meaning. Every indiscreet invasion of personal space and cheeky comment was taken as a hint that he might just feel the same about Edd.

Then again, Eddy wasn’t shy by any means, so if he did have similar feelings, surely he would have mentioned it by now… right? Given the boy’s turbulent upbringing, it was reasonable to assume that he was simply too afraid or embarrassed to broach the subject. Plus, the mildest affectionate gesture made his skin crawl- a fact that Edd was painfully aware of.

The concept was completely foreign to him, as years of touch starvation were starting to take its toll. So much so, that he’d recently found himself looking forward to the occasional odiferous bear hug from Ed. Nonetheless, he respected Eddy’s boundaries, ever-changing as they were.

The mixed signals were a tad frustrating, though. One moment he’s utterly unapproachable, the next he’s practically on top of you. Edd could no longer control the way his lip quivered during those moments. The way he'd turn beet red and still be utterly incapable of looking away.

“Take a picture why dontcha? Weirdo.” The croaky voice snapped Edd’s mind back to the crumbling purple walls of the basement where he’d been gawking at Eddy for the entirety of his impromptu reflection. He emitted a few indignant scoffs and squeaks while scanning the immediate area for something else to look at.

“Oh no, I-I wasn’t…W-Well I was just…”

“Relax, Sockhead, I’m just joshin’ ya .” His brow curled in genuine concern at the mortified expression on Edd’s pallid face.

“Oh, of course, a joke. Hehe. Funny.” His eyes grew large just as he shot abruptly from his seat and snatched up the discarded grocery bag from the cement floor. Spread out flat, it was just wide enough to provide a barrier between the rancid mattress and his pristine pants. With a painfully tight grip on his bony knees, he twisted rigidly to face the portly object of his affection. The unexpected proximity had Eddy slowly shrinking into the corner.

“I need to get something off my chest, Eddy, to clear the air, so to speak.”

Eddy perked up slightly. “Seriously, it was just a joke. I don’t think you’re that weird.”

“Never mind that.” Though impertinent, the clarification was some relief to Edd. He continued, “After considerable time spent deliberating, I’ve come to accept that though my selfish unburdening may well bring about unintended consequences, I simply can’t go on ruminating and rehashing hypotheticals. For my own sanity, it’s best I know exactly where I stand- where we stand. You have my word that no matter your reaction to what I have to say, I won’t be upset. I only ask that you take into consideration my sensibilities when forming your sincere response.”

“For chrissake Edd, just spit it out already! You’re makin’ me nervous.” The Game Boy was shut off and tossed aside so he could wipe his sweaty palms on the thighs of his jeans.

“Eddy, I-”

On cue, pounding footsteps barreled down the groaning stairs. Their newly liberated friend burst into the room sporting his trademark slaphappy grin. Eddy’s indignant glare lingered on a jolted Edd, whose attention was drawn elsewhere.

“I am back, you guys! Pass the ointment, Double Dee!” Resilient as always, Ed stomped over to the buffet of junk in search of something salty to accompany his disks of discomfort.

Eddy stood up on the bed briefly before hopping to the floor and yanking the lofty teen to eye level by a handful of his jacket collar.

“Welcome back, big guy. Hey, listen, I just remembered there’s this gargantuan bug in my bathroom and I need Double Dee here to come see if it's poisonous.”

“Oh, why Eddy, if you simply provided a description of this aberrant arthropod, I’m certain I could-” His innocent offer was snuffed by a clammy hand over his mouth. He fought the immature urge to bite one of the fingers. Like it was his fault that Eddy’s on-the-fly excuse was so easily refuted.

“You're in charge of holdin' down the fort till we get back, got it?”

“Roger Wilco, Eddy!” A ground shaking stomp and stiff salute served to drive his unclear point home.

“At ease, Lump.” He landed a few affectionate wallops on Ed’s bicep, then shot a look at the quasi-entomologist. “Let’s get this over with.”

The old table buckled when Eddy leapt onto the corner to gain access to the window and shimmied through the ever tightening port to the backyard. 

“Double Dee?”

Edd stopped on Eddy’s trail to answer, “Yes, Ed?”

“If Eddy’s bug needs a place to stay, there is plenty of room in my humble commode.”

“How… considerate of you, Ed. I’ll inform, um, it of your very generous offer.” He turned to leave but was quickly sidetracked again.

“Oh, Ed!” He looked up with doe eyes and placed a gentle hand on the boy’s sinewy forearm. “I’d like to apologize for chastising you earlier. It’s not my place to dictate the decisions you make regarding your health. Though, it’s probably best to provide you with your own tube of diphenhydramine cream. Just in case.” An affiliative smile spanned his face for the few seconds he waited for a response.

“An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cured meat. And I am quite partial to bologna.”

“Yes, well. I’d best be on my way if I hope to avoid an ear-splitting admonishment of my own.”

The ginger haired giant gaped, eyebrow cocked, as the boy’s spindly arms struggled to lift the weight of his equally scrawny lower half out of the basement. After spending several seconds watching his friend’s kicking legs and pained grunts, he lurched to the window and nudged Edd’s rear with just enough force to send him stumbling into the patchy footpath outside. Once somewhat stabilized on his disproportionately small feet, he hollered his appreciation.

“Thank you, Ed! Back in a jiff!”

Standing coolly at the end of the front yard, Eddy wasted no time pulling out a metal case and matching Zippo from another of his many pockets. His thumb stroked the crudely buffed out initials of the case’s previous owner as he popped it open. He pinched a slightly stale menthol cigarette between his lips and used his left hand to block the breeze, his right to light. That first fiending drag of nicotine always left him woozy. Using a light post to steady himself, he watched through heavy lidded eyes as Edd flounced into view.

The out of shape boy’s dramatic heaving stopped as soon as he whiffed the acrid aroma of tobacco.

“Eddy, I’d prefer you didn’t do that upwind of me.” He swallowed hard and watched the cherry glow red as Eddy inhaled another puff, a characteristically devious grin forming around the carcinogenic tube.

“You’re the one standin’ so damn close! C’mon, I ain't out here for my health.” 

With that, the pair started down the sidewalk to Eddy’s home. Their shared lack of spatial awareness resulted in the frequent bumping of shoulders, elbows and hands as they shuffled along in silence. A gust of autumn wind on top of the awkward physical contact prompted Eddy to lip his cigarette and shove his hands in his jacket pockets.

The whimsy of marcescent leaves rustling in the nipping breeze had Edd recalling the many idyllic scenarios wherein he finally makes his long awaited confession. Planning was the one constant throughout all of his fantasies; scheduling a time that was convenient for them both, meeting at an undisclosed- and tastefully atmospheric -location, and reading from a deliberately worded billet-doux.

Instead, the rosy imagery was choked out by another miasma from Eddy’s mouth. He grimaced, watching the discarded cigarette land in a growing pile below the back window. His attention was then quickly drawn back to his prospective flame who, in a heartening display of etiquette, had stepped back and was motioning him through the bedroom’s exterior door as it whirred open with an inviting gush of warm air. It wasn’t the moss covered stone pergola hidden away in the vast secret garden of his daydreams. But the clean, well-decorated interior of the bedroom was an improvement.

Edd lingered by the door, looking on while his wheezing friend slunk off to the bathroom. 

“Go on then,” The husky boy was heard a few minutes later, garbling through the foam of toothpaste in his mouth. “I’m listening.”

Edd bit his lip and took a few reluctant steps toward the middle of the room. The sound of medium bristles scrubbing properly aligned teeth echoed off the tile floor of the bathroom. He cleared his throat loudly and adjusted his hat. Feeling a bit dispirited by Eddy’s seeming indifference, he struggled to maintain focus on the task at hand.

You’ve come this far, Eddward. Turning back is no longer an option. Besides, you’ll feel better once you’ve disencumbered yourself. Go forward!

“Hello? Earth to Double Dee?” The voice was now outside the bathroom. Eddy flicked the light off on his way out, slung a retro patterned hand towel used to dab his mouth over his shoulder and zipped to his vanity. There he refreshed his CK One.

The corners of Edd’s mouth tightened. Choosing the right words from the hundreds that bounced around his brain at any given second was more challenging than expected. The wrong one could lead to a critical misunderstanding, which might cause irreparable damage to their already at-risk relationship.

Eddy managed to pry his eyes from his reflection long enough to turn around and face Edd who looked to be fighting a losing internal battle. Nothing new there.

“Forgive me. You’ll understand if I’m a bit nervous.” He faked a chuckle. A second clearing of his throat expelled the first words that came to mind.

“I’m quite fond of you, Eddy.” Dilated pupils darted to the furthest corners of his bugged out eyes. The stocky body in his periphery didn’t move.

A bit lackluster, but a good start. Elaborate.  

“To put it more plainly, my indelible admiration for you has taken on a romantic hue… Hours of introspection, countless thought experiments and an economy-size box of facial tissue have all led me to this conclusion.”

His stiff neck ratcheted slightly to the right, followed by the rest of his body as he dared to close much of the space between them.

“I’ve grappled with the possibility that said feelings may be unrequited. And in the event that you do share my sentiment, less than two percent of adolescent affairs last beyond high school...”

Emboldened by adrenaline, he froze where he stood, now only a couple feet away and placed a heavy hand on Eddy’s broadened shoulder.

“That said, I’m truly hoping that for once, the odds are in my favor.”

Edd's gimlet eye and uncharacteristically forceful grip had Eddy weighing his options for an escape; if he was quick, he could slip out from Edd’s grasp and leg it back to Ed’s. No way he'd want to keep talking about this in front of Ed. Or, he could fake the sudden onset of some obscure disease- a surprisingly reliable option.

His eyes narrowed as he debated, fixed on the wisps of thin, dark hair resting against Edd’s cricked neck.

“Eddy?” The voice was so low it prompted Eddy to look around for the source.

“Why’s everyone think I’m gay, Double Dee?” There was a genuine curiosity to his question, though he dreaded every possible answer.

Edd withdrew his hand and used it to anxiously massage his bony chest. His lack of facial expression was typically an indication that he was on the verge of collapse. Eddy tried to be subtle in taking a small step back.

Now, look what you’ve done. Why would you touch him? And with unwashed hands, no less!

Feigning maturity was beyond tiresome. Edd wanted to throw himself on the ground, kicking and screaming until he got his way. He’d half a mind to inform Eddy exactly why everyone was so quick to make judgements regarding his sexuality. Figuring he’d already put enough strain on their friendship for one night, he instead played dumb. 

“Um… Far be it from me to dissect the complexities of your identity, Eddy. It seems, based on your reaction, that even my perception was skewed after years of friendship.” The adenoidal quality of his voice returned once his throat was cleared a third time. His hand instinctively pressed against his burning cheek, then tugged at the zipper of his quarter zip sweater.

Eddy’s short rearward steps continued until he collided noisily into his rickety dressing table. After confirming nothing had broken, he contested.

“So a guy bathes regularly and knows how to put together an outfit. That makes him a f-” Noting Edd’s disapproving squint, he quickly found another word. “...Fruit?” 

If the context weren’t so gut-wrenching, Edd would have laughed out loud at the boy’s callow reasoning. 

Oh, Eddy. My obstinately oblivious abettor. 

Behind the beads of perspiration on Eddy’s scrunched forehead a war raged on; a conflict between conscious and unconscious mind. To think, someone whose last name wasn’t Kanker was interested in him. And it was Double Dee of all people- the finicky genius, wise to the many skeletons in Eddy’s overloaded closet. The guy who even seemed to have the dames figured out wanted him. It was doing wonders for his recently shoddy self-worth. And he could’ve easily been carried away on that cloud had it not been for the anchor of doubt, despair, and disgust keeping him firmly on the ground. It was true, he knew Eddy like one of those tomes he read for fun. So if Edd thought he was bent… That meant he’d better keep growing out the goatee.

“Eddy, my personal interests aside, I feel I must reiterate: There is nothing nefarious about same sex attraction. It is entirely amoral, despite hegemonic messaging to the contrary.” He paused, remembering that morality wasn’t exactly topping Eddy’s list of priorities. He tried a different angle.

“Gay and bisexual men aren’t inherently less masculine than their heterosexual counterparts. Sexual orientation has no bearing on how someone may choose to express their gender identity.”

The blank look on Eddy’s face was proof enough that he remained unmoved by the attempted appeal to logic. He pinched the bridge of his nose and tapped his foot impatiently.

“Eddy, are you going to listen to me or your father, who can only be distinguished from archaic man by his ability to cajole elderly widows into the peeling leather interior of dubiously discounted daily drivers?”

The fist-clenching frustration that prompted his outburst dissipated quickly, replaced by pity when he met eyes with the confused young man before him.

Still at a loss, Eddy knew his friend was right. But as far as he was concerned, to admit that was tantamount to coming out.

“I’m sorry, Dee. It’s nothin’ personal, really. I just don’t swing that way."

#back on my bullshit with all this alliteration but its fun what can i say #some day i'll write a fic that doesn't end with a line of angsty dialogue but today ain't that day #as usual i'll probably reread and make changes but i gotta cut her loose for now #oh and in case it wasn't obvious this takes place like 2-ish yrs earlier than the main story #fic

[multifandomenjoyerr]

Hi honey!(/p, if the nickname makes you uncomfy let me know!!) it’s me again!

Could I request Aizawa and Sir Nighteye from bnha as caregivers to a baby regressor? Your the best and remember to drink water!!

💤 Aizawa & Sir Nighteye Cg headcanons 🖍

🎸; i'm fine with any nicknames! If anything I'm more surprised (I'm not used to being called anything lol) also u are speaking my language honestly,, we need more aizawa and sir nighteye cg!hcs. Especially nighteye because I haven't really seen any of him yet— so I here to deliver:] and remember to drink water as well kiddo!

⚠️: timeouts (brief, with aizawa), implying of Nighteye's future/fate(?), Insecurities (with Nighteye)

Aizawa 💤

💤 ; he isn't a people's person, we all know that. Preferring to keep things to himself and prefers to avoid social gatherings and social interactions. However despite not liking the idea of being a 'people person' that doesn't mean he doesn't like kids

💤 ; he doesn't know how to explain why this is, but he hates seeing kids (especially his students) hurt. And this includes age regresors. He is most likely not a stranger to the topic; teaching a whole class id guess there's at least 2 students that regress. So telling him about this was a lot more easier on your part.

💤 ; quite frankly you didn't even plan on telling him at first. After his class before you went to Mic's class he pulled you to the side. he asked you a few questions about it; and after some reassuring words you told him about your regression. He just nodded his head and that was the end of it. Right?

💤 ; well, yes and no. This didn't affect how he taught you in his class. And he didn't really lower his intensity when it came to his rough training. (Afterall, you need to learn the hard way to get better at hero work right?) However after studying your behavior for weeks, he knew when you were Regressing and when you weren't. No matter how good you can mask it, he can sense something going on. Yk, dad senses.

💤 ; he knew he can't physically do much when it comes to training. It you were to slip during mid training he will take you to the side to have a small chat. If you're nonverbal/just don't want to talk about it, he'll take you back inside the school and let you hang out in the teachers lounge for an hour

💤 ; the teachers lounge is basically your small playground because of aizawa. There's a tv, books, a pillow fort, a toy box and fidgets. Don't have it? Just ask and he'll find a way to get it into the office

💤 ; he trust me. He was on his knees begging Nezu to just bringing in the books. Took alot of begging and convincing to get Nezu to bend. But he's got it

💤 ; can and probably will hold your hand at random when you're little. Missions are scary, especially if you're little and can't handle the stress— he will always hold your hand as if spiritually telling you he was there for you

💤 ; anyone saying anything mean to you/about your regression is a good way to be tied over the highway (of course not to the intensity point to where that person is in immediate danger. But to prove a point he wasn't to be messed with. Despite it sounding cruel, nobody says anything to his students. Even the other students.) Or he might just tie the person to a streetlight and it would take hours to get down. It just depends really

💤 ; immediately protective over you. If a villian even so much as put a hand on your shoulder, better watch out. Aizawa is on a rampage and nothing will calm him down until he got you back. And he always finds a way. I can promise you that

💤 ; if you misbehaved the only thing he'd do is put you in a corner and afterwards give you a stern talking to. But don't worry, he usually cracks and he can't find it in his heart to be stern with you

💤 ; proud dad. (holding a picture of you); "LOOK AT MY DAUGHTER/SON/CHILD!!" and will make sure to shove that picture in people's face like a trophy. He's.. interesting lol

💤 ; no such things as limited petnames? Have suggestions? He'll listen. If you don't want to be called anything, he'll listen! But if you don't care, he'll settle with "kid/kiddo/my baby"

💤 ; like taking naps? So does he. He'll invite you to his sleeping bag and will cuddle you inside it. He takes naps like 50% of the time. His favorite hobby fr

💤 ; the type of caregiver to check in on you often via messages. And hey, If you ask enough times he'd stop by your favorite restaurant before coming home

Sir Nighteye 🖍️

🖍️ ; being a caregiver isn't all sunshine and rainbows for him. He's often insecure about the caregiver 'lifestyle'. Often thinking you'd be better off with a different caregiver, or at least someone who could provide alot more than he could.

🖍️ ; after him being forced to stop being a mentor for Mirio, he grew distant and stopped trying to put effort into helping students in UA. Until he met you.

🖍️ ; him being your mentor and you being his new Mentee was something he didn't agree with at first. All might suggested the idea and he was like "I guess it wouldn't hurt to try."

🖍️ ; he was your mentor for let's say,, 5 months. And you two grown considerably close. Like any mentor and Mentee would. And that's when you had to tell him. It wasn't your cup of tea, but he'd end up finding out sooner rather than later eventually. His response being "oh. I think I saw that in a book of mine somewhere.." so I think he supports?

🖍️ ; it wasn't until the 7th month of his supervision he became your caretaker all together. (With our without guardian (s)) he still looked after you. Took you under his wing when you needed it the most you could say

🖍️ ; he noticed you slipped for the first time when you had a shut down. When he saw you start to cry, he began to almost cry too. Not that he can't handle negative feelings, but it's a weight in which if he messed up he knew he couldn't make up for it (depending the situation)

🖍️ ; that day he kept you in his arms, shushing you quietly and reassuring soft words to you. Not good with actions, but has a way with words for sure

🖍️ ; he cried once you drawn a picture of him. He put a thumbs up and said with a trembling breath: "it's good" while his glasses fogged with tears threatening to spill. My man can't handle affection in any way, trust me. Hell just end up either crying (happily) or praise you for like 2 hours. No in-between.

🖍️ ; he's like siri if you set a reminder but she doesn't stop reminding you and she doesn't shut up. That's basically how he is. "Did you drink water today?" "Did you get a good rest?" "Are you feeling better today?" He has good intentions, but he doesn't shut up

🖍️ ; carries around a backpack with things you might need. Coloring books and crayons, comics/books, maybe a few DVDs if they have a TV in the building, snacks, drinks and any gear if you use any

🖍️ ; the type to be like, "no we have too many (insert something) at home. You don't need any more" and by the end of your shopping trip he buys it anyways

🖍️ ; (if you don't mind petnames) he calls you Kiddo

🖍️ ; if someone has something negative to say, they better say it to his face. And trust me, nobody wants that.

🖍️ ; afraid to look into your future, fear he may see something that he doesn't want to see. So, he tries his best to not do direct eye contact, to not trigger his quirk when with you. He is pretty cautious when it comes to the eye thing ,

#Honestly proud of this 😭 #Poor Nighteye.. sorry if I made him a little angsty(ish) #sfw agere #agerespace #safe agere #sfw interaction only #Grey's Headcanons #agere blog #sfw blog #fandom agere #headcanon #bnha agere #As always #happy to make Headcanons for you Lottie:]