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#anyways i tried to go out of my comfort zone for this one...!! it was fun
umbrvx · 2 months
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[The character 'Han Sooyoung' is curious about you.]
2K notes · View notes
onlymingyus · 14 days
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Guilty
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pairing; kwon soonyoung x f reader / lee jihoon x f reader
genre; smut (minors dni), angst, toxic, fluff
summary; you and soonyoung learn that the storm can only be weathered for so long before you need a lift raft to hold on to. but what happens when neither of you reach for each other in that storm?
warnings; cheating, toxic relationship dynamics, car accident, injuries, hospital, arguing, eating/drinking, pet names, crying (from pleasure and sadness), unprotected sex, oral (m & f receiving/giving), fingering, marking/biting, impact, dom!jihoon, dirty talk, less than ideal sexual experiences, i mean...there is just a lot -- i probably missed something.
w/c; 23.6k 
a/n; thank you so so much to my @onlyhuis for proofreading and being my rock while i wrote this bitch. this one was out of my comfort zone but i really wanted to try to dive into angst and something a bit more toxic with my plot. i hope you enjoy it.
before continuing remember reblogs are incredibly important and please read how to support me here
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3 missed calls from Soonyoung❣️
Rubbing the sleep out of your eyes, you sigh at the notification on your lock screen, thinking about the number of times you had tried to call him the day before only to get his voicemail. You think about the number of text messages that you have sent as you unlock your screen, looking at the four messages waiting for you. 
When Soonyoung told you about his job opportunity, you were excited for him. Dancing was his life and his biggest passion, with teaching coming in as a close second. The main drawback of the job offer was that he would be gone for a year and be in another country. 
Promises had been made to one another in an attempt to make the distance easier. You both promised to visit when you could and to keep in touch every single day. Things were easier said than done, it would seem. 
Soonyoung ❣️: I got in late. 
Soonyoung ❣️: I know you are going to be mad at me. 
Soonyoung ❣️: Call me when you wake up
Soonyoung ❣️: Love you 
You sigh, laying your phone down next to you after reading over the messages. Lately, they were all starting to look the same. There was always a “I got in late” message waiting for you and a “call me when you wake up" message waiting for you after a day of trying to keep in touch on your part. You knew he was working hard, but so were you. 
Sliding out of bed, your phone in tow, you leave it on the counter as you turn on the shower, letting the bathroom fill up with steam. It wasn’t like Soonyoung would know the exact moment you woke up anyway. He barely remembered the local time anymore, much less your schedule. He had made you wait. Now he could wait. 
Soonyoung knew he should be asleep. He had to wake up early to get to the studio but he was staring at his phone and hoping you would call him. He had checked the time back home at least five times and it was a Tuesday, which meant you had to get ready for work soon. 
Sighing loudly, Soonyoung scrolls back through the text messages that he had missed from you throughout the day. He hadn’t meant to ignore you; he never did. Time wasn’t his greatest ally lately and long days had turned into even longer nights. 
Y/N 😘: Hope you are having a good day babe 
Y/N 😘: Missing you 
Y/N 😘: Hope class has gone well. You are amazing ❣️
Y/N 😘: I’m going to bed 
Y/N 😘: Hope I get to talk to you tomorrow. I love you 
Kicking his legs out from under the covers, Soonyoung knocks his head back against the headboard. He groans under his breath as he gives in to his impatience, pressing down on your name and placing the phone up to his ear to listen to it ring. One ring, two rings, a third, and then your sweet voice tells him that you can’t come to the phone. Were you ignoring him? 
The sound of your ringtone makes you furrow your brows, your eyes closed, as water runs down your face towards your lips. You were almost done with your shower but you were almost certain you weren’t hearing things, especially when your phone rings for a second time. Wiping the water from your face, you rush to get out of the shower, wrapping a towel around you, just as the second call from Soonyoung goes unanswered. 
He had begun to turn over, a scowl on his face, when his phone lit up with a picture of your face. Staring at his phone for a few seconds, Soonyoung presses his tongue against his cheek before finally answering. 
“Hello?”
You could hear the disappointment in Soonyoung’s voice and for a split second, you felt a pang of guilt. You forget about the number of calls that went unanswered the day before as you lean against the counter with a frown on your face. 
“Hey, sorry, I was in the shower.” 
Shrugging, Soonyoung also seems to forget how bad he felt about missing your calls and not responding to your text until late. Instead, he just thinks about himself and what he is feeling at the moment: frustration. 
“Yeah, well, I asked for you to call me when you woke up, but I guess you didn’t check your phone.”  
Looking down as water drips onto the tile, you feel Soonyoung’s words eat at your heart until you remember waking up and seeing your own messages from the day before. You remember listening to his voicemail time and time again, as you hoped he would pick up the phone even for a moment to say something to you. 
“I did check it.” 
Furrowing his brows, Soonyoung is taken aback by your sudden shift in attitude towards him. He had expected an apology and maybe your sweet, comforting voice to lull him to sleep but clearly that wasn’t happening. 
“Oh? So you chose to ignore my messages and calls?” 
“Like you chose to ignore mine, Soonyoung? Seriously…” 
Your voice trails off as tears begin to well up in your eyes. There had been too many days recently that had started much like this one. You wanted to talk to your boyfriend and tell him how much you missed him, how much you loved him, and how proud of him you were that he was living his dream, but instead the two of you ended up in an argument. 
Swallowing hard, Soonyoung closes his eyes as he sits up in his bed, running his fingers through his hair and listening to the sounds of your breath through the phone. He could tell you were crying. He had heard it enough times over the phone at this point to know exactly what it sounded like. 
Now he was remembering seeing his phone light up throughout the day and checking it to see another missed call or text message from you. He remembered promising himself to call you back on the next break, only to get into a conversation with someone and lose track of time. 
Shaking his head, Soonyoung hears a soft sob over the phone as he looks out of his window at the dark skyline of the city, knowing the sun was still rising where you were. He would give anything to be there with you now, to be able to hold you and to make this better but instead he was on the other side of the world and it felt like he might as well be on another planet. 
“I’m sorry, baby. I–look, I don’t know what is wrong with me. It was a long day and when you didn’t answer my brain, just–” Shaking his head, Soonyoung stops to take a breath, deciding to stop giving you excuses. “I’m so fucking sorry. I love you so much.” 
This was the part when you would normally fold and tell him how much you loved him and forgive him. You always forgave Soonyoung because he was working so hard and you knew it was important but you were starting to feel like you were less important. Wiping your cheek with your free hand, you shake your head and bite at your bottom lip as Soonyoung whines your name when you don’t speak to him right away. 
“I have to get ready for work. I love you too. I hope you get some sleep.” 
Closing his eyes, Soonyoung lets out a breath, feeling his heart sink at your words. You hadn’t accepted his apology and you hadn’t wanted to hear his excuses. You just wanted off the phone, and at this point, he couldn’t blame you. 
“I–yeah, sure. Have a good day, babe.” 
The sound of the call ending before you even say goodbye is what stuns Soonyoung the most. Dropping the phone into his lap, he stares at it for a moment, your picture looking at him from his lockscreen before the display goes dark. 
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Jihoon: Pizza?
You hadn’t been home long when the sound of a text message drew your attention to your phone. In truth, you had been avoiding your phone for most of the afternoon, knowing that Soonyoung was awake and at work. He had already been trying to make up for the day before by overcompensating and there was only so much that you could handle. 
Seeing the text message from his best friend, however, was a welcomed change. You knew there was a reason behind it. When you hadn’t answered him, Soonyoung had probably called Jihoon and begged him to check in on you, like he had started to do more often, but you didn’t mind it. 
Y/N: Only if you bring ice cream too. 
Jihoon smirks a bit to himself after seeing your response. He knew you would agree to dinner and he had a good idea that you’d want ice cream after the conversation he had had with Soonyoung about an hour prior. He knew that you two had gotten into an argument. That had started to become a routine and now this was becoming his; dinner and a dessert for you. 
You had always gotten along with your boyfriend’s best friend but since Soonyoung had taken the job and been gone for so long, Jihoon had become a rock in your life. You had become increasingly grateful to him, even if it was Soonyoung’s idea that he kept showing up with food and to be a shoulder to cry on. 
Offering you a half smile, Jihoon lifts the bag with the ice cream with one hand as he holds the pizza box with the other when you open the door. Your smile causes him to take a breath and for his smile to become a full one when you take the bag from him, ushering him inside. 
While Jihoon was happy to do this for you and Soonyoung, there was a part of him that found this more difficult every time. He was starting to love seeing that look on your face when you saw him—the way he could make your face light back up. 
“Come in. Sorry…the place is a wreck and I already changed into my pajamas. I literally can’t find a fuck to give today.” 
Moving into your place with you, Jihoon’s eyes move over your back and down your legs, just under your shorts, before he pulls them away out of respect with a sharp breath. Shaking his head, he looks around with a shrug before setting down the pizza on the coffee table as you move into the kitchen to put the ice cream in the freezer. 
“Your place looks lived in, Y/N, and you look fine. Making me wish I was in my pajamas, or that I looked half as good in mine.” 
Closing the door to your freezer, you pause at Jihoon’s compliment, feeling your cheeks starting to heat up. You didn’t mind it—the feeling of someone telling you that you looked good. It had been so long since Soonyoung had been home that you forgot what it was like to have someone compliment you like that, even if it was something so innocent. 
Jihoon curses himself under his breath, sitting down on your couch, at his forwardness. He never wanted to really cross a line. He knew who you were and he knew who he was; just lately, it was getting harder to really remember it. 
“Thanks, Jihoon, I’m sure you look very cute in your pajamas. Ya know, for the record.” 
You smile at Jihoon and he has to look down at his hands as he chuckles, trying to play off your words as if they don’t have any effect on him. He knew you weren’t actually flirting with him; that was a ridiculous passing thought in his mind, but god, sometimes he wished you weren’t Soonyoung’s. The moment the thought even comes to him, Jihoon clenches his fists and then stretches out his fingers to distract himself from it. 
“Mm, how was your day?” Swallowing hard, Jihoon glances up at you as he opens the top of the pizza box, gesturing towards it as you move around to sit next to him, closer than you had on other nights. “Eat. Don't let it get cold.” 
Taking a slice of the pizza, you pout at it before taking a small bite, letting the warmth of food and good company wash over you. You had heard Jihoon’s question, but it was a loaded one. Sighing, you furrow your brows as Jihoon swallows his own bite of pizza, glancing over at you with a concerned look on his face. 
“It was a bad one, Jihoon. I know that wasn’t really your question, but I’m not stupid. I know he called you and asked you to come over.” 
You shake your head and put your pizza back into the box. Jihoon frowns and does the same, watching pensively as you wipe your fingers on the end of your nightshirt, unwilling to put effort into getting up to get a napkin.
“I–well yeah, he did, but I wanted to bring you some dinner. We could talk about it, you know if you want to.” 
Jihoon watches as you furrow your brows and lean back on the couch, pulling your legs up under you. It hadn’t been his intention to upset you or bring up the argument; he had wanted to help distract you, but maybe you did need to get through this before you could move on with your night. 
Glancing at your phone as it lights up again with another text message from Soonyoung, you shrug hearing Jihoon’s phone go off a moment later. 
“It’s just really funny to me that he can ignore me all day and then act like I am supposed to be at his beck and call.” You swallow back your tears as you look down at your hands, pushing the ring on your index finger around so that the stone is facing your palm. “I love him, Jihoon, but right now I can’t stand him. I feel like I don’t know who he is anymore. I don’t know the person I talked to this morning.” 
Jihoon fights the urge to look at his phone, feeling it go off again in his jacket pocket. Instead,  he listens to you intently as he sees the tears rising in your eyes. His eyes fall to the ring on your finger and he remembers helping Soonyoung pick it out before he left for Tokyo and how he had suggested the cut of the stone. 
Swallowing hard, Jihoon shifts on the couch to face you. He keeps his hands to himself, trying to be as respectful as possible, although all he wants to do is offer you more comfort when he sees the first tear trail down your cheek. 
“Look, I could go the best friend route and give you the excuses but I’m not going to do it. I know he’s busy but I’m also not there.” Meeting your eyes, Jihoon tightens his hand on his knee, listening to you sniffle back your tears as he tilts his head. “I know he cares about you, he told me today. If I could make this better, Y/N, I would.” 
Those weren’t the exact words that Jihoon had meant to use, but those were the words that had come out of his mouth. They weren’t a lie, because if there was a way that he could make it better for you, he would. If there was a way that Jihoon could make you happy, he would. Seeing you cry and upset was breaking his heart in ways that he couldn’t even explain or justify. 
You can’t help but let out an unamused laugh under your breath at Jihoon's words. not for everything, because you knew he was trying to help, but you couldn't help but be cynical about the whole situation. Fingers wrapping around yours as tears drip from your cheeks is what breaks you and you finally meet Jihoon’s eyes once again. 
“Nothing can make this better. I’m completely alone.” 
Holding your hand tighter, Jihoon sighs, sliding even closer to you before lifting your hand to show yours in his as he shakes his head. 
“You aren’t. I’m right here.” 
Your eyes slowly move over his fingers, delicately holding yours, and more tears fall from your eyes as you try to work through how it makes you feel. It’s overwhelming to have someone right beside you, their skin against yours, their eyes on you. The feeling makes you want more and you feel selfish but it’s a moment of weakness. 
Sliding on the couch, you move against Jihoon so that your cheek ends up against his chest. A surprised breath escapes from his lips before he finally moves to wrap his arms around you, holding you to him like you want him to. He can feel the tears starting to soak through his shirt but he can’t seem to find a reason to care as your fingers cling to his jacket and you sob quietly. 
Jihoon had hugged you before, but this was more than a hug. This was almost intimate as the moments passed and you started to calm down, only to stay in his arms even as he shifted to lay down on the couch, letting you rest on top of him. 
Lifting a shaky hand, Jihoon carefully ran it over your head, listening to you whine softly and he wondered if you had fallen asleep. He knew he had overstayed his welcome and he knew he should leave but that would mean he would have to tell you to move and that would mean he wouldn’t have you in his arms. He was selfish. What would Soonyoung do if he walked in the door right now? 
Pushing the thought of his best friend from his mind, Jihoon closes his eyes when you shift against him and you mutter his name, wrapping your fingers around his shirt and holding him to you. Your lips smack cutely and a soft snore tells Jihoon that you have in fact fallen asleep. Any plan to wake you at that point leaves him with the sound of his name on your tired lips. 
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By the time you wake up Jihoon is gone and you have been placed in your bed. Furrowing your brows, you look around your dark room, confused, before glancing towards your nightstand to see where your phone is plugged up. He had done so much while you slept and not even woke you to say goodbye. 
Picking up your phone, you wince at the brightness of the screen, only to frown at the number of missed calls and text messages from Soonyoung. You were starting to feel bad for ignoring him the entire day and it didn’t help that you were missing his voice. You start to click on his name to read over the messages when two from Jihoon make you pause and check them first. 
Jihoon: I hope you don’t get upset that I put you in your bed. The couch is comfortable but your bed looked better
Jihoon: I’m sorry if I overstepped tonight. Just can’t let you cry like that
Furrowing your brows, you swallow hard, thinking back to how it felt to be held and how safe you felt— even for just a little while. 
Y/N: You don’t have anything to apologize for. Thank you for dealing with my bullshit. Sleep well, Hoonie
You wait for a moment, hoping that Jihoon will write you back, but it was asking a lot for him to be awake at 1:26 am. Soonyoung, on the other hand, would be well into his work day. Scrolling over to the clock you have set for his timezone, you let out a slow exhale, reading 5:26 pm, before checking your messages from him. 
Soonyoung ❣️: I love you so much
Soonyoung ❣️: Please don’t ignore me
Soonyoung ❣️: I’m going to work but I’ll keep my phone ringer on
Soonyoung ❣️: Could you please answer your phone
Soonyoung ❣️: Don’t you think this is a little childish?
Soonyoung ❣️: I’m sorry. Did Jihoon bring over some food?
Soonyoung ❣️: I’m assuming you fell asleep. Really fucking wish you would have talked to me today. Don’t really think I deserved the silent treatment. It hurts, Y/N…
His messages had ranged from hurt to angry and everything in between, and now you were feeling the same as tears gathered in your eyes once again. Two of his messages, in particular, sticking out and making your heart tighten to the point where your stomach felt queasy. ‘Don’t you think this is a little childish?’ and ‘It hurts, Y/N…’ He had no idea how much it hurt you. 
Wiping your cheeks, you tap his name on your phone with more force than is necessary, putting it to your ear as you pull your knees towards your stomach. It only takes two rings before Soonyoung picks up, sounding out of breath. 
“Hello?” 
In truth, Soonyoung had started to give up hope that you were going to call him but he hadn’t lied when he told you that he kept his ringer on. Hearing it ring, he had immediately sent everyone on a five minute break and answered you, leaning over to rest his free hand on his thigh, trying to catch his breath. 
“Hi.” 
He had hoped for more than that but he’d take what he could get right now. Your voice brings a smile to his face as Soonyoung reaches for his water bottle, taking a sip. Sliding down the mirrored wall, he leans his head back against it and sighs into the phone, finally feeling a bit less stressed. 
“I’m glad you called, babe. I can’t stay on the phone long, but I’d like to —” 
“It’s whatever…” 
Taking a deep breath at your interruption, Soonyoung closes his eyes because he can hear the tears in your voice. 
“I mean, no, it’s not. If you’d let me finish? Fuck, Y/N… First, you ignored me all damn day and now I can’t —” 
Biting his bottom lip, Soonyoung stops himself hearing you take a sharp breath. He had started to go off on you but he knew it was because he was wound up. Yes he was upset at you but now wasn’t the time to fight. 
“Baby…I was going to say that even though I can’t talk long right now, I’d like to talk soon. I wanna really talk. Maybe we could facetime? I wanna see your pretty face.” 
Soonyoung was giving you whiplash and it was almost too much to handle. You loved him so much but it was hard to go from one extreme to another with no way to touch him or to have his arms around you. 
“I’m just really tired, Soonie. Can I just go to bed?” 
You weren’t lying. You were exhausted mentally, emotionally, and physically. His words were like rocks being added to a growing pile in your arms, pushing you deeper and deeper into a pit that you weren’t sure how to climb out of. 
Pinching the bridge of his nose, Soonyoung knocks his head back against the mirror at your request while you also leave his question up in the air. He wasn’t sure how late it was for you but he had to assume it was late and he could hear the exhaustion and emotion in your voice. 
“Yeah…course, babe. I love you.” 
Looking out into your moonlit room, you find yourself staring at the picture of you and Soonyoung on your dresser with little to no emotion as you speak before hanging up your phone. 
“Love you too, bye.” 
Soonyoung had heard you say that you loved him hundreds, possibly thousands, of times over the span of your relationship and he had never heard it sound like that. He had never heard it said in such a way that it almost broke his heart. Letting out a breath he didn’t know he had been holding, Soonyoung looks up when the pretty girl speaks to him again, a concerned look on her face. 
“You ok, Soonyoung?” 
Nodding, he puts on a smile and moves to his feet, causing her to take a step back to watch him as he puts his phone on silent. 
“Course I am, Aimi. Once everyone is back, we can run it from the chorus again.” 
Aimi grins at Soonyoung and his smile becomes genuine as he watches her take a step backwards on the wood floor. 
“‘Kay…hey, you wanna get drinks later?” 
When Soonyoung looks confused, Aimi laughs and lifts her hands, biting at her pretty lips that he can’t help but look at. 
“With me and a few of the dance team, of course.” 
Shrugging, Soonyoung glances down at his phone, tossing it up in the air and catching it before putting it on the table next to his water bottle. What could it hurt? Drinks with a few of his students, especially when the view would be nice for just a little while. Offering Aimi a grin, Sonyoung nods before leaning to pick up a towel and putting it around his neck as he watches him carefully, her eyes carefully moving over his exposed arms before moving back to his face. 
“Sure, sounds like fun.” 
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“She just doesn’t answer my calls much anymore. I dunno what the fuck I’m supposed to do, man.” 
Soonyoung sighs, using his shoulder to keep his phone against his ear as he pulls his jacket from the closet, causing the unused hangers to clang together. On the other side of the phone, Jihoon leans back in his chair, rocking his head side to side to move his blond bangs out of his eyes. He lets out a breath as he pushes his mouse across his computer screen and dragging levels up and down in the music editing program by eye and muscle memory. 
“I don’t know. It’s not my place to —” 
“Couldn’t you just... I dunno, talk to her? Get her to listen to reason? You are so good at that.” 
Leaning his head back, Jihoon rolls his eyes as he pushes the mouse away from him out of annoyance. This wasn’t his job and he didn’t want to lie to you or tell you that it would all get better when clearly there was something going on that he couldn’t fix. 
“I’m not a fucking relationship therapist, Soonyoung.” 
Swallowing hard, Soonyoung stops just outside of his temporary apartment, hearing the anger in Jihoon’s voice. That hadn’t been the intention; he just wanted someone at bat for him, someone at home, to be in his corner for once. 
“I’m sorry, man... I’m not saying that. You’ve been nothing but helpful. You know, taking Y/N meals and watching out for her... I really appreciate it.” 
All of the things that Soonyoung was bringing up were things that Jihoon was happy to do for you. Maybe at first they were a little tedious but as time had gone by, days had turned to weeks, and weeks now to months—they were part of his life as much as you were. 
“It’s fine. Uh… Look, okay? I’ll try to talk to Y/N and see if I can get her to give you a call when I take her something to eat tonight.” 
The sounds of traffic make Soonyoung wonder if he had heard Jihoon wrong but he knew he hadn’t. Rubbing his lips together, Soonyoung nods as he furrows his brows, a bit of strain evident in his voice. 
“You’re gonna take her something to eat again tonight? Is that like, a common thing now? I just—yeah, I dunno, I figured it was every once in a while.” 
Shifting in his chair, Jihoon feels the apprehension in Soonyoung’s words. He knew that he should feel bad for how often he was spending time at your place but after holding you as you cried yourself to sleep, Jihoon couldn’t. 
“It’s pretty often. She’s lonely, Soonyoung. You are on the other side of the world. You’re the one who asked me to do it in the first place.” 
Soonyoung could feel the way his stomach was twisting with jealousy and something else he couldn’t quite name. Jihoon wasn’t wrong; he had asked him to do it, but he didn’t think he would be spending so many evenings hanging out with his girlfriend. He also didn’t really need his best friend to remind him of the distance between him and his girlfriend. The distance was very apparent and it was eating him alive. 
“Yeah, I know I did. I don’t need you to tell me how lonely she is. I’m fucking lonely too.” With his feet hitting the steps to the studio hard as he pouts into his words, “I wish I was at home. I wish I had never fuckin’ taken this job.” 
Running his fingers over his hair, Jihoon can’t help the way Soonyoung’s words hit him and made him feel bad for a split second. He couldn’t really understand the pain that his friend was feeling but it was obvious that he was suffering. Being with you almost every day, Jihoon saw your pain but today was the first time he had really heard Soonyoung’s, and even so, it didn’t make up for your tears. 
“Then maybe you should fucking tell her that.” 
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You were pouting into your pint of ice cream as Jihoon watched you, finishing the last of his pasta. He had already tried to give you the “but Soonyoung just wants to talk to you; maybe you should call him tonight” talk and now you were being quiet. It wasn’t like you hadn’t sent Soonyoung texts throughout the day; you just hadn’t answered his phone calls or made any special effort to call him like you normally would. 
“The ice cream was meant to cheer you up.” 
Lifting your eyes to Jihoon, you stab your spoon into your softening ice cream, making him wince at the sudden action. Clearly, you were upset at him, though he wasn’t sure that was entirely fair. He had just done what Soonyoung had asked of him and now it was biting him in the ass. 
Sighing, Jihoon puts his plate down on the coffee table before leaning forward to lift his hands as if to say he is surrendering. This wasn’t how he wanted to spend the evening with you. He enjoyed the evenings when the two of you would sit close on the couch. You’d turn on one of your silly trash reality shows and he’d let you try to explain who was fucking who and who was cheating on who. In reality, he was just enjoying your company—more than he should. 
“I’m sorry. I promised Soonyoung that I would try to put in a good word for him, but I can’t stand the idea that you might spoon me to death like your ice cream.” 
You wanted to stay mad at Jihoon, but he made it difficult. You had started to trust him not to just take Soonyoung’s side because he was asked to but clearly everyone had their limit. It was already asking a lot of Jihoon to keep you company like he was, so adding ‘taking your side in the arguments’ was asking maybe too much. 
“I don’t wanna talk to him right now, Jihoon. He has said something to me that I never thought—” Shaking your head, you pull your spoon free from your ice cream with a bit of a sad laugh. “It doesn’t matter. It’s not your fault. You’ve kept me sane.” 
Your words go right to Jihoon’s heart, causing him to have to look away in fear of how he might react. That was a big role to take in your life and he knew that when it came to you, he was taking it seriously. Jihoon knew he should feel bad for how he started to feel about you but as long as he kept those feelings to himself, they wouldn’t matter. 
“Uh—well I… You shouldn’t have to go through all this shit alone. I got tired of seeing you so lonely.” 
Furrowing your brows, you watch Jihoon speak and how he looks down at his hands. You had known him for a long time, but over the past few months, you had gotten to know him almost as well as you knew Soonyoung. There were tells in his mannerisms and it was almost like playing poker with him. You could tell when he wasn’t telling you everything. 
“I am lonely, Hoonie. You have helped me through a lot.” Sighing, you lean towards the coffee table to put your ice cream down before looking back over to Jihoon to meet his cautious eyes. “The food is nice but just having you here has been the best. Like last night, I really needed that.” 
You watch as Jihoon lifts his hand to run his fingers over his hair with a long sigh. Something was on his mind but he just wasn’t saying it. Tilting your head, you scoot closer to him and Jihoon laughs under his breath before you hear what sounds like a curse. Did he not want you to be close to him anymore? 
“I–I’m happy to help, Y/N. Last night, you said I didn’t overstep, but — fuck…” 
Meeting your eyes, Jihoon’s words die on his tongue. He knows he can’t disappoint you. Not when you look so sad and vulnerable. Not when you are so fucking pretty and looking at him like he is a buoy in the middle of a vast ocean. You let out a soft whine and Jihoon’s eyes fell to your lips just once before he winced and leaned forward to brush his against yours, not wanting you to feel so alone. 
At first, you freeze when you feel Jihoon’s lips against yours. Your brain misfires because you know it’s not Soonyoung and you know that you should push Jihoon away but then you relax. You sigh into the kiss and return it, letting Jihoon’s tongue slide along your bottom lip. 
You arch against his body when you feel Jihoon’s hand grasp your waist as you lean your head into his hand as he cups your cheek with his other hand. Your tongue glides along his and you moan softly into his mouth before finally Jihoon pulls away with one last peck on your lips. 
With his eyes closed tightly, Jihoon rests his forehead against yours, cursing himself silently. If he had thought he had overstepped the night before, now he had looked at the line and flipped it off. His hand trembles against your side and Jihoon sits back, looking up at the ceiling as you look at him coming out of your haze. 
“Jihoon…I—” 
“It was me. I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.” 
Jihoon starts to pull away from you and you feel your stomach twist in panic so quickly that you grab his shirt to stop him. When your eyes meet, Jihoon looks at you confusedly, but you just shake your head and bite at your lips, trying to think quickly. 
“But I…I liked it.” 
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2:30 am 
Jihoon groaned, looking at his lock screen again, before putting his phone face down on his bed. He had been staring at his ceiling for hours at this point, thoughts racing through his mind. All he could see was you looking at him with that sweet look on your face as he kissed you again. 
“Fuck!” 
There was so much that was fucked up about the situation. He had gone over to your house to talk you into calling Soonyoung. Instead, he had ended up making out with you on your couch before kissing you goodnight at your front door. 
Now he was the one avoiding Soonyoung’s text messages. He didn’t know what he was going to say to him. 'Hey, yeah, talked to her. Kissed her and then kissed her again. You’re cool with that, right?’ He was sure that would go over well. 
Closing his eyes, Jihoon runs his hand over his face before resting it on his bare chest as he tries to calm himself down but once again his thoughts land on you. He thinks about your fingers clinging to his shirt and how you sounded moaning into his mouth. He thinks about how sweet you would sound if he were between your—
Arching his hips off the bed, Jihoon groans at his own thoughts, trying to stop them but the damage is done. He had willed himself not to get hard while he was at your place but now he could feel his cock stiffening against his thigh under his shorts. This was pathetic; he was pathetic. All it took was thinking about how you’d sound if he were between your legs and he was hard and starting to leak. 
Jihoon knew he could ignore his problem and eventually it would go away but it would take a while and he was already struggling to go to sleep. Smacking his hand against the bed, Jihoon lifts his hips, pushing his shorts down, before kicking them off under the sheet, letting his now throbbing cock rest back towards his abdomen. 
Sighing in annoyance, he rubs his palm in a circle over his head to collect some of his pre-cum causing himself to hiss and buck his hips. Jihoon hated that his first thought as he wrapped his hand around his shaft, stroking himself from base to tip, was your hand in place of his. It was so fucking wrong of him to think about you like this while he was doing this, but it was doing the trick. 
Muttering your name under his breath into a groan, Jihoon picks up speed with his hand as he lifts his hips towards his fist, fucking into it with even strokes. It felt good but it was nothing compared to what he imagined your pussy must feel like. 
Soonyoung wasn’t a shy person. He was a jealous person, but that only made him brag more and that meant that he would overshare. Jihoon was thinking about that now as he squeezed his cock under his head, remembering how Soonyoung told him that your pussy was the tightest he had ever had and how you got so wet that he had to lay down towels and use his tongue to clean you up. 
Warm, sticky cum hits Jihoon’s stomach and runs down his fingers as he groans out your name one more time before pushing his head back against his pillow. He was out of breath, his heart racing, and you were still running laps in his head as he thought about you licking him clean.
With one last stroke and whimpering groan, Jihoon knows he has nothing else to give. Fingers unwrap from his softening cock as he takes steady breaths, feeling sleep trying to take over him, for him to now fight it, knowing he has to get cleaned up. 
He hated himself for what he had just done, but god if it didn’t feel worth it for how hard that he had cum and how well he would sleep. 
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“Of course I would be excited to see you, Soonyoung…” 
You sigh into your words as you lean your head against your driver’s side window. You had a headache; it had been a long day at work and all you wanted to do was get out of traffic and get home. You didn’t really want to be on the phone with Soonyoung as he made empty promises but that is where you found yourself; listening to empty promises and stuck in a traffic jam. 
“I think I can make it happen in a couple weeks, maybe three.” 
The ever changing Soonyoung timeline. Shaking your head, you hold your phone with one hand and the steering wheel with the other as traffic starts to move in front of you. 
“Sure…” 
“I’m serious, Y/N! Why don’t you ever believe me? I feel like I’m the only one trying to make this work anymore.” 
Frowning, you start to speak, feeling emotion rising in your chest, when suddenly you are launched forward and pain spreads through your chest. Soonyoung waits to hear you speak but instead he hears the sound of your surprised yelp and then the sound of car horns. 
“Baby?” When you don’t answer him at first, Soonyoung paces in front of the mirrored wall, running his fingers through his hair. “Y/N? Talk to me, baby!” 
Muffled voices and a ringing in your ears are all you can hear as you try to shake your head to push away the foggy feeling. Someone takes your arm as you try to move and you hear a man tell you that you shouldn’t move until someone makes sure you are okay first. 
“What happened?” 
You can hear yourself better than you can hear the man, until finally your ears seem to pop just as your vision starts to clear and you see your airbag against your chest. 
“Car came up too fast behind you and knocked the hell out of you. I was in front of you.” 
Leaning up to try to see the man’s vehicle in front of you, the man ushers you back down and shakes his head. 
“Just a little damage. I’m not worried about it all that much. Your car is fucked and so is his.” 
Wincing as you lean your head back, you can feel the burn from where your airbag and the seatbelt protected you from much worse. You try to turn your head to look for the other driver, hearing sirens, but instead just look for the man you had been talking to. 
“Is he okay?” 
Sighing, the man nods, giving you an annoyed look. 
“Probably the drunk ones always get hurt less, they say.” 
Holding his free hand over his ear, Soonyoung struggles to make out as much of your conversation with the unknown man as he can but the moment he realizes you have been in a car accident, he’s panicking. Swallowing hard, Soonyoung clenches his chest as he ends the call with you and grits his teeth, making the decision to call the only other person he knew could be there for you when he couldn’t. 
“Yeah?” 
Jihoon was almost nervous to pick up the phone after seeing Soonyoung’s name but he did it anyway. He had been avoiding his best friend most of the day except for the stray text here or there but this was the first phone call he had actually accepted. 
“Jihoon!” 
The panic in Soonyoung’s voice made Jihoon sit up straight, his heart rate speeding up, because his first thought was that something was wrong and it could only be you. 
“Ji...I–fuck! I was on the phone with Y/N and I don’t know where she is.” 
He could hear Soonyoung struggling with his words as he paced, unsure what to do. Jihoon’s first thought was, Fuck, I couldn’t imagine how hard this would be for him if something happened to you but then he could imagine it. He needed to know what was wrong and where you were.  
“Slow down and tell me what the fuck is going on.” 
Nodding, Soonyoung runs his hand over his mouth and takes a breath, trying to start over slower and calmer. 
“We were talking on the phone and she dropped it, I think. I heard something loud and then some dude was talking to her. He said something about an accident. I think she was in a wreck.” 
Looking at his watch, Jihoon stands up from his chair, grabbing his keys and jacket, keeping his phone to his ear as he pushes his studio door open. He knew he should probably tell the others where he was going but, fuck it, they could figure it out. 
“It’s 5:30; she was probably going home. Maybe she got stuck on the highway. I’ll find her and call you back.” 
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Jihoon groans at the woman sitting at the front desk of the emergency room as she stares up at him like he has three heads. 
“Like I told you, if you aren’t a relative or a loved one, you can’t go back to see Miss Y/L/N. You can wait in the waiting area.” 
His hair was starting to come loose from his bun with the number of times he had shaken his head. Jihoon was getting more annoyed by the minute. Gritting his teeth, he puts his palms flat on the desk and gives the woman a strained smile before tilting his head. 
“I am a loved one. Y/N is my girlfriend. I’d really like to see her now.” 
After a few more minutes of narrowing eyes at one another, Jihoon found himself being led back to your triage room, where you were sitting on a bed in a hospital gown with a frown. You were honestly so cute that he couldn’t help but pull the smallest of smiles from his lips. However, seeing the cut on your lip and eyebrow and the bruise that was already spreading along your neck, the smile quickly faded. 
Nodding to the nurse, Jihoon moves towards your bed as the woman pulls the door shut, giving you and him more privacy. The moment your eyes meet, the tears fall over the rims of your eyes and Jihoon’s heart breaks. 
“Hey…What’s that about? Did they say you have to stay overnight or something?” 
Shaking your head, you reach out to take Jihoon’s wrist in yours, pulling him closer so that he will sit next to you on your bed. You find yourself just wanting to be close to him. 
“No. I can go home as soon as the doctor makes sure I didn’t break anything and gets me a script for some pain meds.” 
Furrowing his brows, Jihoon turns his hand over, letting you rest yours in his as he looks over your face even closer now. He could see where the bruises would be and where the hospital had cleaned up your cuts but there was still some dried blood. His stomach was in knots because it never should have happened. 
“So why are you crying? Talk to me…” 
“My car is fucked for one and I—” Your voice falls over into a small sob, causing Jihoon to lift his hand, his thumb gently caressing your cheek to push the tears away. “I’m scared and I don’t wanna be alone now. Soonyoung is—” 
You don’t finish the sentence but Jihoon knows how it finishes. Soonyoung is so far away. He had heard you say it many times but this time it went right to his gut. He almost hated Soonyoung for leaving you alone and letting something like this happen to you, even though it wasn’t his fault and he had no way of preventing it whether he was here or not. 
“One thing at a time, Y/N. Come here…” 
Shifting on your hospital bed, Jihoon sits beside you, letting you curl against his chest so you can rest against him. He can feel your tears soaking through his shirt but he doesn’t mind it. The only thing he cares about is who is in his arms and whether you are safe. 
“Let’s go through things one at a time. Your car. I know you have insurance. We will call tomorrow and make sure it’s being taken care of. I can get you to and from work.” 
You start to complain but Jihoon just holds you tighter, making you sob softly against him before you nod. 
“And being alone...” 
You hear him let out a breath as he thinks of what to say so you do it first as you run your fingers along his chest around a button. 
“Could you stay with me for a few days?” 
Closing his eyes, Jihoon swallows hard as he leans his head back against the wall. He knew he should say no and that you should ask one of your girlfriends but he hates the idea of disappointing you. 
“Yeah…I can do that, honey.” 
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“She’s banged up but she’s gonna be alright. They got her some pain meds and she’s out of work the rest of the week to rest.” 
Soonyoung furrowed his brows to Jihoon’s words. He could tell the man was whispering but he didn’t really know why… Was he still with you? Looking down at his phone, he tried to do the math in his head but it didn’t make sense. If it was 5:30 pm for him, that would mean it was at least after midnight for you, if not later. 
“Thanks for letting me know. Wish I was there… hate the idea of her being alone right now.” 
Sighing, Jihoon looks at you in your bed as he leans back in the armchair before shaking his head at Soonyoung’s words. He wasn’t sure how to work around what the man had just said to him. He wasn’t an idiot but he didn’t want to cause a fight. 
"Yeah, I don’t like it either but what is anyone going to do about it, Soonyoung? I told her that until her car is out of the shop, I’ll take her to and from work. That’s one less thing for her to worry about right now.” 
Maybe he was letting his imagination get the best of him. That was it. He had always been a jealous man when it came to you and there was no reason for him to be worried when it came to you and Jihoon. Nodding along with his best friend’s words, Soonyoung offers a smile to Aimi as she gestures for him to hurry up as she and a few of the other students wait by the door of the studio. 
“Thank you for doing that, Ji. I’ll try to call her later, after she’s got some rest. I owe you big time.” 
That was an understatement, is all Jihoon could think as he heard the sounds of a girl giggling just as Soonyoung hung up the phone call. Of course, it could be nothing but there was no way to know. 
Moving his eyes back over to you as your hands rested under your cheek, Jihoon tilted his head and started to stand up, intent on going to the couch, when you whispered his name. At first, he thinks you are just dreaming but then you sit up and look at him, making him stop in the doorway. 
“Hey, you okay? You need something to drink? More pain meds?” 
Shaking your head, you reach out your hand towards him and Jihoon’s heart beats hard in his chest at the implications of what you were asking of him. 
“Stay? Don’t wanna be alone.” 
Your voice is so tired and small. Jihoon closes his eyes for a brief moment before nodding and moving towards the bed to crawl in behind you, laying a good distance away. He thinks you’ll be satisfied to have him just anywhere close to you but then you turn over and lay your head on his chest, wrapping your arm over him so that you can pull your body in close to his. 
“This okay, Hoonie?” 
Running his free hand through his now loose, long blond hair, Jihoon wants to tell you no and that you need to lay away from him but everything about that is a lie. There was nothing more that he wanted. He hears you sigh happily when his hand under you shifts to run his fingers along your back, allowing you to curl even tighter against him, your leg pulling to rest against his thigh. 
“Yeah, it’s okay, honey.” 
You smile at the pet name. It wasn’t something that Jihoon had called you much about or ever before, but you were enjoying it. It made your stomach feel warm and your heart feel fluttery. Nuzzling your cheek against his chest, you spread your fingers out along his abs and close them to scratch at his skin through his thin shirt with a sigh. 
“I like that…that name.” 
If anything, Jihoon knew he was crossing a line with it, but fuck, look at where he was and look at where you were. The line was 300 miles back and he was waving at it in the distance at this point. 
“I like it too. I like it too much.” 
Shaking your head, you glance up at Jihoon with a pout on your lips as he meets your eyes in the dim, moonlit room. You could see the apprehension on his face and you knew why it was there but as much as you knew you should feel guilty, he was the one here and he was the one taking care of you. 
Reaching up with your hand, you hold his chin in place so you can lean up to press your lips against his, granting you a soft groan from his. Jihoon’s brows furrow, and his fingers scratch lightly against your lower back right over your ass before he gasps for a breath, pulling away from you. 
“Y/N…” 
“I want you, Jihoon.”
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Jihoon had felt bad about not giving in to you after you had confessed that you wanted him. It wasn’t that he didn’t want you. God, if anything, he wanted you too much and that was what was killing him. You had pouted for a few minutes but then accepted his excuse that it was too fast and too soon after your accident before you fell asleep in his arms. 
The sun was starting to rise and he knew he would have to leave you, at least for a few hours today. He would need to go into the recording studio and at least explain his sudden disappearance and work for a couple hours, but god, did you make it hard to leave you. 
Running his fingers over your cheek as you nuzzle against his chest, Jihoon can’t help but smile as you smack your lips in your sleep. You are so cute that it is almost physically painful for him to look at you and not act on the whims that he feels. He wants to kiss you, put your back against the bed and show you how he would spoil you in bed. Instead, Jihoon just watches you sleep for a few minutes longer before he tries to slide his arm from under your body, only to feel your fingers tighten in the front of his t-shirt holding him to you. 
“Hoonie…don’t leave.” 
Your voice almost breaks his heart because he didn’t want to leave you but he had to. Sighing, Jihoon brushes your hair back, leaning to press his lips against yours, feeling you smile against his. With that, he’s able to maneuver his arm out, only for you to whimper against his lips and tug him back against you. 
“Honey…I have to go take a shower and get to work. I won’t be gone all day, I promise.” 
Looking down at you, Jihoon frowns at the darkening spot near your eye and lip. His eyes move down to where your tank top does nothing to hide your largest bruise on your shoulder and collarbone from where your seatbelt had been sitting. 
“I’m gonna miss you. Can’t you just stay?” 
Shaking his head, Jihoon leans to kiss your eyebrow lightly, then your split lip, before leaning to kiss your neck and collarbone, making you moan. It wasn’t his intention to turn you on; instead, he was just trying to kiss your wounds better but you couldn’t help but lace your fingers through his long hair, holding him to you. 
Groaning as he feels your heel run along his thigh, Jihoon takes a breath against your neck, trying to keep his head. It had been a long time since he had been with anyone and he never thought the next person would be his best friend’s girl, but here you were with your hands in his hair and your body pressed against his. 
“Jihoon…” 
His name on your lips is like a siren’s call and Jihoon’s resolve breaks. Meeting your eyes, his lips press against yours hard, only for you to whimper at the slight pain of your split lip. He pulls back, realizing that his kiss is gentle and tender as his tongue dances with yours. You feel his hand slide from your waist to your hip so that his fingers can press into the top of your shorts, making you arch off the bed, wanting him to take them off. 
“I can’t give you everything right now. I really do have to go in for a while today, but I’ll give you something, okay, honey?” 
Nodding, you whine out his name as Jihoon pulls back from you. His eyes move over your face and down your body as his fingers press into the top of your shorts, pulling them down your legs with trembling hands. The line was thousands of miles behind him now; he couldn’t even see it. All he could see was you. All Jihoon could hear was his name on your lips as he dropped your shorts on the bed next to him and you spread your legs for him.
Jihoon lets out a shaky breath and it dawns on him that there is no one else who matters who isn’t in this room. It’s just you and him. His eyes move from your face, down your body, and finally between your legs, where his mouth starts to water at the sight of you. Your perfect folds are spread to reveal just how wet your pussy has gotten for him. Not for Soonyoung, but for him. 
“Fuck…gonna eat you out, is that okay?” 
It had been so long since you had been touched, so having someone look at you the way Jihoon did was almost overwhelming. You felt like you could cum untouched by just the feeling of his eyes but then his question and what he wanted to do to you had you clenching around nothing. Whining, you nod, scooting your hips further down in the bed as Jihoon moves between your legs, leaning to press kisses to your soft thighs, waiting for your verbal answer.
“Yeah, please? God, please, Hoonie?” 
It wouldn’t take much convincing for Jihoon to give you what you wanted. With one hand wrapped around your hip, he uses his other to part your folds so he can see all of you. Letting out a groan to the sight, Jihoon glanced up the length of your body before shaking his head and spitting on to your clit before latching on to it with his mouth. 
Soonyoung was great at everything in bed but this was different. You hadn’t been with too many people before you met Soonyoung and up until this moment, you had been faithful to him, but there was something about Lee Jihoon between your legs that had tears already streaming down your face. The groans and grunts let out against your pussy were almost animalistic as he ground his face against you, fucking you with his tongue. 
Your fingers grip Jihoon’s hair, tugging at the long locks holding him closer between your legs as you feel the pressure building in your lower abdomen. It’s only when you are unable to hold it back anymore that you cry out his name and roll your hips hard against his face, cumming onto his tongue and chin. 
Jihoon groans quietly against your warm, wet folds as he laps at your cum, enjoying every last drop. His fingers lazily massage your folds, causing your thighs to jerk and for him to smile against your pussy until you whine his name as if asking for mercy. 
Licking his lips clean of you, Jihoon moves up between your legs to rest over you, kissing you gently and letting you taste yourself on his tongue. He basks in the sounds of your moans as your fingers grip and almost tear at his shirt, wanting more but he had already told you he couldn’t give you everything just yet. Nudging his nose against yours, Jihoon smiles against your lips before pulling away as you almost sob his name but he knows this time it’s just a ploy to keep him in your bed. 
“I told you, honey, I gotta shower and get to work. I’ll pick up food tonight and we can cuddle when I get back.”
Turning on your side, you take a deep breath, feeling exhausted as you watch Jihoon walk towards your en suite, his fingers running through his long blonde hair. You knew you should feel guilty and maybe you did deep down but you had needs and right now, as your thighs ached from your legs being spread apart as he ate you out like his last meal, you couldn’t feel a single drop of guilt. 
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You wake up to the sound of your phone, causing your brows to furrow in annoyance. You had been sleeping so well but still, your fingers reach out for your phone, bringing it to your ear as you answer it with a sleepy voice. 
“Hello? Jihoon?” 
Furrowing his brows, Soonyoung tries not to take too much offense to how you answer the phone because he can tell you were asleep and he can tell you aren’t yourself. Jihoon had told him that you were on some pretty strong pain medications, so maybe that was clouding your judgment. 
“No, baby, it’s me, Soonie.” 
You smile softly, feeling a warmth rush over you upon hearing Soonyoung’s voice. There was a conflicting feeling underlying it but on the surface, you were happy to hear from him. You missed him despite everything and you loved him. 
“Hi, Soonie.” 
That was more like it, you seemed more like yourself. Maybe a bit of a drunk version of yourself but still, you seemed happy to hear from him and that Soonyoung could handle. 
“Hey, baby. How are you feeling?” 
Whining as you turn over on your back, you put your hand on your shoulder, feeling the stretch in your arm, making Soonyoung hear you in pain. He knew if he could be on a plane and back with you in that moment, he would be, but it was literally impossible. 
“I’m fine. Just hurts a bit. I could probably go back to work earlier than the doctor said.” 
Shaking his head, Soonyoung punches in the code to his building as he rests his phone on his shoulder, letting his foot catch the door so he can get his stuff inside.
“No, baby… listen to what the doctor said. If you need more time to heal and rest, take it.” 
Pouting, you sit up in bed, looking around for Jihoon, remembering he had left for work long before. Nodding to Soonyoung’s words, you just sigh and give in to your current predicament. 
“I guess so. Maybe they will have the car fixed before Monday. I hate the idea of Hoonie driving me around.” 
Hoonie, it wasn’t like that was the first time he had heard you call his best friend that but for some reason this time it made his hair stand on end and his mouth go dry. Nodding, Soonyoung puts his groceries down hard on the counter, making you jump in your bed with a wince as you hear him sigh loudly. 
“You okay, Soonyoung?” 
Rolling his eyes, Soonyoung takes out one of his beers and pops it open, taking a sip as he leans against the counter, tilting his head as he looks at the label with narrowed eyes. 
“Course I am, babe. Get some rest. I love you.” 
Soonyoung doesn’t give you much time to respond before the sound of a phone call ending goes off in your ear and you are left with his picture staring back in your face. Furrowing your brows, you reach for your bottle of water that Jihoon had left and your bottle of pills, taking another one before settling back into your covers and trying to relax once again. 
Looking at his phone, Soonyoung runs his thumb along his contacts before he lands on Aimi and puts it to his ear, a small smirk pulling at the corner of his lips when he hears her pick up. 
“Hey, no, yeah... I’m fine. Just wanted to see if you wanted to come over and hang out.” 
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Jihoon tried to be quiet while moving through your front door, but smelling food cooking as soon as he walked in made him realize there was no point in trying. Following his nose, he smiled while watching you stand in front of the stove in fresh clothes, humming along to something playing on your phone. If you had heard him come in, you weren’t letting him in on it. 
Sliding his hands around your waist, Jihoon laughs when you jump, dropping your spoon into your soup with a small splash of liquid that both of you are barely able to miss as it hits the floor. Jihoon whispers apologies against your ear before leaning to kiss your neck as you calm down and pout at him before he pulls away to get a paper towel to clean up. 
“I didn’t mean to scare you. I thought you would have heard me come in.” 
Shaking your head, you look down in your soup for the lost spoon before Jihoon moves back to your side, dipping his fingers in and pulling it out with a small hiss to the heat, letting you take it from him. 
“I didn’t, but I’m glad you are home.” 
Home. What a loaded word. This wasn’t his home but you made him wish it was. Everywhere he looked, he was reminded it wasn’t his home as Soonyoung smiled at him from the fridge and the walls, but he was getting pretty good at ignoring him. 
Sliding his hand along your hip, Jihoon takes a deep breath of the steam coming off the soup, nodding appreciatively as you look up at his content. This was the happiest you had been all day since before he left you for work. It was the most coherent you had been as well. You barely remembered your phone call with Soonyoung and you hadn’t received any text messages from him so you knew he was asleep or something. It didn’t matter. 
“Can you get down a couple bowls and we can eat on the couch? We have some trash TV to catch up on.” 
This was the perfect way to spend an evening and how Jihoon wished he could spend every single evening. He didn’t need to worry about rushing off. His stomach was full of food that you had made for him and now you were lying in his arms as the TV played one of your silly shows that you cared too much about.
Fingers lightly strum over Jihoon’s chest as you smile, listening to his heartbeat more than you listen to the arguments or gossip on the show. You find yourself enjoying the feeling of Jihoon’s hand cupping your hip and his thumb resting under your shirt above your shorts more than you do anything else. You never want the night to end or maybe it is more than that, something deeper but it’s nothing that you can talk about out loud just yet.  
When your eyes meet Jihoon's, he smiles at you and you feel like you are melting on the spot because it's been so long since someone has looked at you like that. Since someone has really looked at you, you feel like you could get lost in his eyes as his fingers lightly move across your cheek and down your jaw before he leans in to press his lips to yours, and you melt all over again. There’s something there that is unspoken and it will remain unspoken for the sake of everyone involved. You just kiss and give into it. 
Jihoon groans when he finally moves you to your bed and has you sitting on his lap. He whines into your mouth, feeling the weight of you over his hard cock. He wants to tell you that maybe this is too much or too fast but what about if this is too much or too fast? What about this? Is it even right? He knows it and he knows what you do too, so instead he just gives into it. 
Clothes find their way into the floor until your skin is naked against Jihoon and his fingers can finally move over your soft skin like he has always wanted to. He feels dirty and like this isn’t his—because it isn't—and yet something whispers in his ear that you are his. Right now, at this moment, you are his. 
“Please?” 
One word falls from your lips and Jihoon will give you the world; he will bring down the moon and the stars for you to make it better. Resting on your back, you cling to Jihoon, his hair falling from his bun as he looks down at you, his right hand sliding along your inner thigh, working its way towards your warm center. Two fingers slide between your wet folds and Jihoon’s lips fall open in the same way yours do as he works his fingers into your pussy, feeling your warm walls clench around them. 
He remembers in that moment Soonyoung bragging to him about how tight and messy you are and he can’t help but smirk to himself that he is getting to know that firsthand. Groaning against his arm, Jihoon can barely move his fingers inside of you, searching for that one spot that will make you scream his name but when he finds it, you arch off the bed and Jihoon almost cums on the spot, untouched by the sight of you and the sounds that come out of your mouth. 
Your velvet walls tremble around his fingers as he pumps them in and out of you at almost a brutal pace, trying to get you ready for his cock without even thinking about anything else. All Jihoon can think about is your wet slick seeping around his fingers and how it is running down  his wrist with each deep thrust of his fingers. He is just thinking about how good it will feel on his cock and how sweet you will sound as he’s pushing you into the mattress that you share with Soonyoung. 
Shaking his head to push Soonyoung out of it, Jihoon groans your name as your nails scratch his chest and along his neck, pulling him down to meet your lips when you cum. He groans loudly, feeling his fingers being sucked back into you with each wave of your orgasm, making it almost impossible for him to pull away from you until you finally relax and your thighs stop shaking. 
Smiling, Jihoon presses kisses on your cheek and along your neck before looking up at you to meet your eyes as he slips his fingers from your dripping center. You watch as he brings them to his lips and sucks each one of them clean with a small groan, making you whine under him. 
“Hoonie, please, I need you.” 
“Yeah? I won’t make you wait, honey.” 
Leaning over you, Jihoon opens the nightstand he knows to be Soonyoung and groans when he only finds an empty box of condoms before resting his head on his bicep. 
“Baby, do you have condoms on your side?” 
Swallowing hard, you shake your head already, knowing you don’t. Dread feels you knowing that if you don’t say something, he won’t fuck you like you want him to. Lifting your hand, you cling to Jihoon’s arm and whine as sweetly as you can, making him look down at you as you look up at him through lowered lashes. 
“I don't, but I’m on birth control, Jihoon. That’s why we don’t have anything here. Just fuck me, please?” 
Jihoon knew he should say no and wait until he could pick something up but that look in your eyes and the sweet tone of your voice were killing him. You hadn’t been with anyone else besides Soonyoung in years and he knew he hadn’t been with anyone in months, maybe closer to a year. Groaning, Jihoon rests his forehead against your shoulder before nodding, making you smile as you run your fingers through his hair. 
Learning from you, Jihoon pushes down his boxers, kicking off the last remaining piece of clothing, keeping him separated from you as your eyes follow him. Swallowing hard, you watch as he strokes himself a few times before he meets your eyes as if looking for permission once again, only for you to nod and slide your leg up and off to the side, letting him move back between your thighs. 
Running his thumb over your clit first, Jihoon watches how your body jerks, making him smirk before he follows that same action with the head of his cock. His brows furrowed as he made a pass with his tip between your folds to collect some of your arousal before finally meeting your eyes as he pushed into you for the first time, slow and steady. 
You had been used to the feeling of Soonyoung stretching you out so the feeling of Jihoon was completely different. Soonyoung was longer, whereas Jihoon had girth and it was almost painful as he sank into you, making you see white for a moment. A moan gets caught in your throat when Jihoon bottoms out and he stays where he is, catching his breath as you clench around him, making it impossible for him to move at first. 
“Oh…shit. Y/N, you gotta relax. Relax for me, honey.” 
Nodding, you do your best to listen to Jihoon’s voice and let your body relax as his fingers stroke the side of your face into your hair. You smile at the feeling of his lips pressing against your throat, feeling his smile against your skin when you do as he asked you to. 
“That’s it. Such a good girl. Can I move?” 
Whining out a yes, you nod and scratch at Jihoon’s back as he starts to thrust slowly but deeply, making you cry once again. Tears of pleasure begin to stream down your face and over Jihoon’s thumb, causing him to look up in concern until he sees the blissed out look on your face. 
Wiping the tears from your face, Jihoon groans your name, picking up his pace and listening to you cry out his name as you tighten around him once again. He didn’t need you to tell him that you were close. He could feel it as your orgasm started to rip through you. The way you got impossibly wetter and how you clamped down on him and held him inside of you like a vice. 
Groaning your name, it soon turns into a hiss as he follows you over that edge in a panic, trying to pull out only to have you cling to him with tears in your eyes, begging him to stay. Nodding, Jihoon relaxes, and his cum fills you with each deep thrust, making you throw your head back with a moan of his name. 
Collapsing on top of you, Jihoon struggles to catch his breath for a moment as sweat rolls along his neck and down his chest to your skin. Licking your lips, you run your fingers through his hair and over his back as you come down from your high, feeling like you have been to the moon and back. 
“Fuck…” 
A smile pulls at your lips as Jihoon curses against your neck. After a few moments, he rolls over to your side, pulling from you carefully, before resting his forearm over his eyes, still catching his breath as if he had just run a mile. Shaking your head, you can’t help but admire the man beside you in your bed under the moonlight, as if he is a piece of art, as with each of his breaths, his muscles expand and contract, showing off all his hard work spent in the gym. 
“Thank you, Jihoon. I really needed that.” 
Laughing, Jihoon just shakes his head, moving his arm to look at you before laughing again and pulling you into his arms to kiss you softly, making you smile. 
“Why are you thanking me for fucking you?” 
Shrugging you, run your finger nails along his abs, making him suck in on a breath as he leans his head back against the pillows. 
“What else am I supposed to say?” 
Shaking his head, Jihoon runs his fingers over your back and furrows his brows, realizing he isn’t even sure what the right answer to that question is. It isn’t that you love him or that he loves you, not even if it were true. So perhaps your response was appropriate for the time. Sighing, he looks up at the ceiling, staying quiet for a moment before lightly patting your back. 
“I don’t know, but I do know we need a shower. We smell like sex.” 
Laughing, you watch Jihoon slide out of your bed and around towards the ensuite, where the water for the shower starts to run. 
“Such a romantic, Lee Jihoon.” 
Grinning, Jihoon leans against the bathroom counter, looking at himself in the mirror as the room starts to fill with steam and he waits for you to join him. 
“Yeah, I know I am, honey.” 
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Staring at your phone, you run your thumb over Soonyoung’s face as you think about what happened between you and Jihoon. The guilt had started to weigh heavily on you. That wasn’t who you were. You had always been faithful to Soonyoung because that’s the type of person he and you were. 
Pressing your thumb down over his name, you put the phone to your ear and sigh. You knew it was pretty early in Tokyo. It was after 5 pm for you and Jihoon would be coming back home soon so that would mean Soonyoung was probably getting ready to leave for work. What you didn’t expect was someone else to pick up his phone. 
“Hello?” 
A sweet female’s voice greets your ear and you feel like the walls that have been stable around you are crashing down around you. You hear her say hello again before you shake some sense into yourself and look at your hands, finally able to speak. 
“Uh hi… I was trying to reach Soonyoung.” 
The girl smiles into her words before giggling as she looks around his apartment, listening to the shower turn off. 
“Yeah, he’s here. He’s getting out of the showe—” 
“Hello?” 
Soonyoung had heard Aimi talking to someone and there were only a few people who would be calling him this early in the morning. Taking the phone out of her hand, he shoots her an annoyed look as he glances at your face on his screen before trying to get you to talk to him. 
“Baby?” 
Aimi pouts while watching Soonyoung hold his towel up around his waist as she sits back on his bed. Her eyes follow him as he moves into the bathroom, shutting the door where she can’t hear him anymore. 
“Who was that, Soonyoung?” 
Sighing as he leans against the counter, Soonyoung tries to think of his feet and the best thing he can think of is a half truth. 
“A student. I–uh I gotta work on some stuff with her before class. She showed up too early. Sorry, she answered my phone, babe. Won’t happen again.” 
Tears gather at the rims of your eyes as you just nod along with Soonyoung’s words. You knew deep down that there was nothing you should have over him after what had happened between you and Jihoon but it still hurt. You didn’t believe him because you knew what Soonyoung sounded like when he was lying. 
“Baby? You–you heard me, right?” 
Wiping at your cheeks, you just nod again before looking up at the entryway to your bedroom, where Jihoon is standing with a concerned look on his face. 
“Yeah, I heard you. I gotta go, Soonyoung.” 
Leaning his head down towards the sink, Soonyoung groans under his breath. He didn’t want to just let you get off the phone after something like this but he couldn’t force you to stay on the phone and listen to him come up with excuses. 
‘Yeah…okay baby. I love you, so so much.” 
Looking up at Jihoon, you wipe at your cheek once more, answering Soonyoung numbly while your words are left in the air, causing Jihoon’s heart to tighten. 
“I love you.” 
Hanging up your phone, you drop it onto the bed and close your eyes before you feel the mattress sink next to you and Jihoon’s arms wrap around you. He wasn’t sure what was happening but he knew you were in pain and if he could take it away, he would. 
Closing his eyes, Jihoon rests his face against your hair and takes in a deep breath, letting it out as you let out a soft, sad sob that shatters his heart. He knew that you were talking to Soonyoung. He knew that ‘I love you’ hadn’t been meant for him but he wished it had been. In his mind, he would never leave you like this. He wouldn’t have you crying because of him day after day. 
“Y/N…honey…do you wanna talk about it?” 
Shaking your head, you start to tell him no before you lean back to meet his eyes and all of your resolve melts away. Jihoon can only coo at you in sympathy, bringing his thumbs up to push the tears from under your eyes as you try to explain about the girl picking up the phone. 
“What do you want me to do, baby? I’ll call him and cuss his ass out. I’ll call her.” 
The words were nice but deep down, even Jihoon knew what you and he were doing was no better. At the end of the day, you didn’t really know if Soonyoung was sleeping with this girl, but did it really matter? 
Moving to lay against Jihoon, you shake your head hard and cling to Jihoon like a life raft to keep you from drowning. You know that you shouldn’t want him as much as you do but all you can think about in that moment is his lips on yours and how it would distract you from your heartbreak. 
“No, no…just…” 
This was becoming the routine for the two of you. Jihoon would go to work and come home before ending up on top of you, either in bed or on the couch, where the two of you would eventually end up naked. 
Furrowing his brows, Jihoon groans as you lay back on your bed, pulling him with you. He knew what you wanted as your fingers pulled at his shirt and worked his hair loose from its bun. He didn’t want to tell you no, so he wouldn’t. Instead, Jihoon just meshes his lips with yours and kisses away your pain and tears. With each piece of clothing that he removes from you or himself, that’s just another layer of anxiety or stress that he is removing until finally his skin is met with yours. 
“Hoonie…be rough with me?” 
Closing his eyes, Jihoon bites down lightly against your neck, near where your bruise was starting to fade when you asked him that question. There had been times when he had wanted to let go with you and just have his way with you but he had been afraid to hurt you or scare you, but now you were asking. 
“You sure, honey?” 
Nodding, you scratch your nails along Jihoon’s back, knowing that you are leaving marks that will fade in a few minutes. You didn’t want to think anymore; you just wanted to feel. All you wanted in your brain was Jihoon, Jihoon, Jihoon. 
Hissing at the feeling of your nails on his skin, Jihoon pulls back to look down at you with fire in his eyes. He would give you what you wanted. Licking his lips, Jihoon stares at you for a moment, only to then capture your lips with his in a breathtaking kiss. You whine into his mouth as Jihoon’s teeth nip at your lips before he pulls away completely, kneeling on the bed in front of you. 
“Come here; let me use that mouth.” 
Turning over, you blink up at Jihoon, only for him to pull you to where he wants you with one hand as he holds his cock in his other. Sucking on his bottom lip, Jihoon tilts his head, watching your eyes fall to what’s in front of you before you open your mouth and he taps his head on your tongue a couple times before sliding into your warm, wet mouth with a groan. 
“Fuck…just like that. Hands on my thighs, baby. If it’s too much, tap a few times, and I’ll stop.” 
Lifting your eyes to Jihoon, you moan around his cock and he almost loses it right then and there. He could feel your nails digging into his thighs as he buried his cock into your mouth, his tip almost reaching the back of your throat. The sound of your moans mixed with gagging caused Jihoon’s brain to misfire as he groaned your name. 
Fingers hold your head close to his hips as Jihoon keeps you as close to him as possible until he hears you whine and he lets you go. Leaning your head back, you blink up through tears as Jihoon wipes his hand over his lips, watching his pre-cum and your saliva drips down your chin. The sight is something he knows he won’t forget for a long time. 
“Good fucking girl, honey. Now turn your ass towards me. You want it rough, don’t you?” 
Nodding, you can barely answer Jihoon as you weakly move into the position he wants you in. Hands slap at your thighs, causing them to sting, before the same hands come down on your ass, making you cry out in surprise. Leaning over your back, Jihoon smiles against your ear, listening to you calm down as he presses small kisses on your skin. 
“You like that? When I spank you?” 
“Yeah, I like it, Hoonie.” 
Smirking, Jihoon pushes off the bed and slaps his hand down over your ass cheek one more time, listening to the sound of your moaning cry as he rubs his hand in a circle over the warm skin. With his free hand, he uses his thumb to spread your folds as he ruts his hips against you from behind, feeling your arousal drip onto his cock. 
“Honey…You are soaked. Might make me think you like being treated like a slut.” 
Whimpering in embarrassment, you bury your face against your arm. You listen to Jihoon laugh as his fingers dig into your hip. The fingers that once were running between your folds now help to press his cock against your leaking hole. 
Gasping, you scratch at the bedding under you, feeling the way that Jihoon’s cock stretches you in this new position. When his cock is fully buried inside, only then are you able to fully catch your breath, only to have it taken when it gives you no mercy and starts to pound into you relentlessly. 
You knew what you had asked for and Jihoon was delivering it. There were no coherent thoughts left in your mind. The only thing you could think about was him until the sound of his phone going off just as you were about to cum brought you back to reality. 
Frowning, Jihoon glances towards the nightstand to see Soonyoung’s face lighting up on his phone. Leaning over your back, Jihoon groans your name, feeling you tighten around him, only for you to glance towards the phone. He can feel the exact moment when you fall under him and he knows the moment is lost. 
“Stop…stop…please?” 
Coming to a stop, Jihoon carefully pulls from you as you ask him to, his head turning away from the phone only for a moment before he curses under his breath and smacks it from the nightstand. Bringing the phone to his ear, still out of breath, he answers the call, anger evident in his tone.  
“Yeah?” 
Taken aback by the anger, Soonyoung furrows his brows and wipes his towel across his neck to clean off a new layer of sweat from practice. Maybe Jihoon had been at the gym and he was interrupting a set, but he had never gotten that sort of response or that level. 
“Am I bothering you? Fuck, dude…” 
Rolling his eyes, Jihoon sits on the side of your bed, feeling his head start to hurt as you turn away from him and pull your legs up towards your stomach. He knew you were feeling shame and guilt when you didn’t need to and it was Soonyoung’s fault, it was his fault. You weren’t at fault for this. 
“Yeah, you are. What do you want?” 
Scoffing, Soonyoung looks at himself in the mirror, clenching his fist and unclenching it before letting out a sigh. 
“I was just waiting to check in. I wanted to see if you had talked to Y/N today. Something happened earlier and I am just…” 
The laugh starts off unamused but ends up being a genuine laugh as Jihoon leans his head back, causing Soonyoung to be even more confused until Jihoon speaks. 
“The chick picking up the phone? I know about it. Be smarter about your hook-ups if you are trying to keep them from your girl, Soonyoung.” 
Now Soonyoung was seeing red. Jihoon might be his best friend but that didn’t give him the right to tell him how to live his life or how to handle his relationship with you. Especially when he was getting awfully cozy with you. 
“Fuck you, man. You have no idea what I’m going through. Know what I think?” 
Making a questioning sound, Jihoon lifts his brows, waiting for Soonyoung to continue but Soonyoung just scoffs, putting his fist against the mirror. 
“I’m waiting to hear the great gospel, according to Kwon Soonyoung.” 
Shaking his head, Soonyoung hangs up the call and turns to slide down the mirror to sit on the floor as Aimi frowns at him. Moving closer, she kneels in front of him, brushing her fingers over his cheek and he gives in, leaning into a friendly touch. 
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Three Weeks Later
You had just gotten your car back. You and Jihoon had started splitting time between who’s place you would stay at but today just happened to be one of the evenings when he was busy and you needed a little time to yourself. 
Rubbing the back of your neck, you drop your keys into the bowl beside the door and sigh, not noticing the extra shoes beside the door. You don’t notice the suitcase next to the couch until the smell of Soonyoung’s cologne overwhelms you. 
“Hey baby.” 
Startled, you take a step back as Soonyoung smiles at you, his brows furrowing at your reaction to him. Maybe it hadn’t been the best idea to just show up but you had started ignoring his calls more and answering fewer texts and he was starting to worry about you. He was starting to worry about you and him. 
“Oh, hey, sorry... didn’t mean to scare you, babe.” 
Grinning, Soonyoung moves towards you, pulling you into his arms as you wrap your arms around his waist, feeling tears stinging your eyes. You feel overwhelmed and uncertain what to do or how to feel. He doesn’t seem real, even if he’s in your arms. The man that you have loved for so many years of your life now just feels like guilt in your hands. 
“Aren’t you happy to see me?” 
Nodding, you cling to Soonyoung, not wanting him to see any disappointment on your face. Because you aren’t really disappointed. You have missed him. No matter anything that had happened or would happen, this man was your friend and you always wanted him to be. He had started that way, as your best friend. He knew how to make you laugh better than anyone and you loved him for that. 
“Of course I am, Soonie. When did you get here?” 
Soonyoung smiles, burying his nose against your hair and taking in your scent as he closes his eyes. He tries to count the time in his head but the jet lag makes everything muddle together. Shaking his head, he just laughs and shrugs his shoulders. 
“Couple of hours ago. Just enough time to throw some left over in the oven and a load of laundry in. All I wanna do now is lay down and cuddle with my girl. Can we do that?” 
Your heart feels like glass as you listen to Soonyoung talk, because it sounds so simple. You want to tell him everything he wants to hear so you just do it. You nod and look up at him with a smile, letting him press a kiss to your lips that you meekly return, though your brain drifts to Jihoon. 
“Yeah, of course. Let me... let me–uh change and we can lay on the couch.” 
Whining, Soonyoung wraps his arms around you from behind, burying his face against your neck as you start to walk away from him. Your hand on your cellphone is in your jacket pocket as he pulls you back against him. 
“Not the couch, kitten. I wanna lay on the bed. I’m tired… cuddle with me.” 
You scoff into an unamused laugh before nodding and looking over your shoulder at Soonyoung, who smiles at you so sweetly that you can’t say no. 
“Yeah, the bed. I’ll change and meet you there.” 
Watching Soonyoung trudge off down the hall, you let out a breath, pulling out your cellphone to text Jihoon with shaking hands. 
Y/N 💗: Soonyoung is home 
The day had been long but the night was going to be longer. Jihoon hated album wrap ups but as a producer, sometimes he had to do grunt work up until the early hours of the morning. Hearing his phone go off was one thing that could make him smile until he read your text and his face fell. 
Muttering fuck under his breath and drawing the attention of a friend in the studio with him, Jihoon apologizes, turning his chair away to answer you. 
Hoonie 💗: For how long?
Y/N 💗: I have no idea
Rubbing his hand over his face, Jihoon puts his phone face down on his desk in front of him. It wasn’t your fault. In truth, Soonyoung had given you both a warning when he said two or three weeks, but he usually never kept those promises.
Looking at your phone as you move into your room, you glance at the bed to see Soonyoung lying where Jihoon usually would be now. A smile on the man’s face as he flips through channels on the TV, picking what he wants instead of what you like. 
Eyes shift towards you as you move into the closet, closing it halfway and making Soonyoung’s brows furrow. You had never shied away from him before, but it had been several months since he had been home so maybe that was all this was. Shaking his head, he turned his attention back to the TV and leaned his head back against the pillows, enjoying the comforts of home. 
Hanging up your jacket, you swallow hard, seeing no new texts from Jihoon. You couldn’t blame him. There wasn’t anything else to say. You could hear the TV and Soonyoung’s soft laughter, which made you wish that things were as easy as he was making them seem. 
“Soonie…babe? How…uh, how long are you home?” 
Pursing his lips, Soonyoung glances towards the closet again, seeing a peek of your skin as you change into your classic choice of pajamas, a tank top, and short shorts. In one way, your question was a simple and normal one, but in another way, it seemed suspicious. Soonyoung decided to keep it simple and think that you were just curious about his plans. 
“Wish it was longer, but... I fly out tomorrow night.” 
Staring at the clothes in front of you, a scoff falls from your lips. The first thought on your mind is “What was the fucking point?” but you don’t say it out loud. Instead, you just pick up your phone and text Jihoon as you shake your head. 
Y/N 💗: He flies out tomorrow night.
You don’t expect a text back, so you just hold your phone to your waist until you move to the bed, smiling at Soonyoung. Laying your phone face down, you plug it in, leaving it silent, before slipping under the covers and letting your boyfriend pull you in close to him with a happy groan. 
“You aren’t mad at me, are you? I tried to find a better time but it’s so fucking busy. They keep trying to keep me on full time.” 
Furrowing your brows, you look up at Soonyoung to gauge his expression but it’s almost impossible to judge. You start to realize you aren’t sure you know this man anymore. 
“And what do you want to do?” 
Shrugging, Soonyoung stumbles over his words before just smiling at you and running his fingers along your jaw. 
“Right now? I just wanna kiss my beautiful girlfriend. I’ve missed you so fucking much, baby.” 
You knew he was deflecting but you also didn’t want to argue. You didn’t have the strength or the will to fight with the one person who you had simultaneously missed and hated over the past few months. So you give in, closing your eyes as Soonyoung’s lips brush over yours. You take a breath as his hand slides along your waist and he pulls you closer before laying you on your back so he can lay on top of you. 
Nothing feels the way it should. At one point in your life, you loved Soonyoung with every fiber of your being. His touch was electric; his mouth was like fire on your skin, but now you feel dull as he groans your name, his thigh pressed between your legs. It isn’t that it doesn’t feel good or that you aren’t able to get off on it; it’s more to do with the fact that you are picturing someone else in your bed. 
Keeping your eyes shut tightly, you whine when Soonyoung’s lips brush over your stomach as his fingers tug your shorts down so he can lay between your thighs. He gasps at the sight of your wet folds before pulling them apart with his thumbs so he can run his tongue from your entrance all the way to your clit, causing you to arch off the bed. 
With a smirk, Soonyoung can’t help but let how you are reacting go to his head. All he can think about is how good he makes you feel and how you taste on his tongue. In his mind, this is the first time you have had someone's tongue on your pretty pussy in months and it’s his alone. 
“Fuccckk….kitten. My sweet girl. So fucking messy. Getting juice all over my face. You should just come back to Tokyo with me.” 
Shaking your head, you want him to stop talking so you push Soonyoung’s head back down between your legs so that his mouth is flush with your pussy. Two fingers work their way into your tight hole and Soonyoung groans around your clit, feeling how you clench down on them. He practically growls when your fingernails scratch at his scalp, feeling like you finally cum for him, though you made him work for it. 
Coming up for air, Soonyoung chuckles, looking down at you as you hide your face. You look so cute and shy. You remind him of when the two of you first got together and how innocent you had been before he rammed his cock into you, much like he was going to do now. 
Watching your mouth fall open in a moan, Soonyoung bites at his bottom lip as his hands hold to your hips as he thrusts into you hard and fast. He had missed you and honestly, there was no one else like you. Nothing could compare to how your pussy would clench down on his cock and hold him inside of you like you were trying to keep him forever. God, how he wanted you to keep him forever in that moment, even if his mind momentarily slipped to Aimi whining on his bed. 
Shaking the thoughts from his mind, Soonyoung falls on top of you. His mouth finds your neck as he bites and sucks deep marks that he hopes will stay for at least long enough for you to remember where he was. His thrusts grow impatient and uneven until finally you hear his high pitched groan against your skin when Soonyoung cums inside of you. 
Tears roll from your eyes and along your temples as your hand rests on your forehead, the other against his back, feeling him push his cum back inside of you. At one point in your life, you would have loved that feeling but you knew at that moment that you didn’t love him anymore or at least you didn’t love him as much as you once did. How were you supposed to tell the person who was the love of your life something like that? 
You wake up alone the next morning, your eyes swollen from crying yourself silently to sleep the night before. Turning to look for Soonyoung, you find nothing but an empty bed and his jacket slung over the chair in the corner. Only the smell of food cooking in the kitchen lets you know that you aren’t truly alone. 
Reaching for your phone, you sniff back fresh tears as you check for new messages, seeing a couple from Jihoon that actually work to calm you down. 
Hoon 💗: Then I’ll come over once he’s gone
Hoon 💗: You still got me, honey 
Smiling, you run your thumb over the screen and send back a simple heart emoji before turning in the direction of where Soonyoung’s phone dings. Glancing towards the door, you lean over the bed and pick up his phone, looking at the lock screen and seeing a few messages from Aimi. 
Aimi: So bored without you 
Aimi: OMG come back already…
Aimi: 🥺
You know that you should feel hurt or angry when you see the messages but instead you find yourself suddenly indifferent as you turn Soonyoung’s phone face down on his nightstand and slide out of bed. Slipping on your robe, you make your way out towards the kitchen, putting on a smile as he leans down to kiss the corner of your lips with a sigh. 
“Good morning, gorgeous.” 
Humming, you slide on to a bar stool and look at the food he has made, noting you would have to go grocery shopping once again. It was a nice gesture on his part but when you were practically living on your own most days, paying rent on your own while your boyfriend was off living his dreams, you couldn’t just buy anything and everything you wanted. 
“What time is your flight?” 
Wincing, Soonyoung turns to take the juice out of the fridge, glancing towards the microwave for the time being before tilting his head back and forth before looking at you for sympathy. 
“I’ll have to leave here around 2ish if I wanna make it through security and all that international shit on time.” 
Glancing at the clock, you lift your brows and sigh before leaning your chin on your arm as Soonyoung pours two cups of juice, watching you closely. 
“You aren’t mad at me? I know it’s a short visit but I wanted to at least try. I’ve missed you so much, kitten.” 
Shaking your head, you pick up a piece of bacon and chew on it with a sigh from your nose before meeting his eyes.
“You have to do what you have to do, Soonyoung.” 
Your indifference causes Soonyoung’s brows to furrow and his stomach to twist with anxiety but he still tries to offer you a smile. Taking a sip of his juice, he pushes yours towards you before looking at the fridge and seeing a picture of you and Jihoon smiling, heads pushed together. It looks innocent enough but it still makes his heart hurt. Gesturing towards it, Soonyoung clears his throat and licks his lips of any remaining juice. 
“You and Jihoon have gotten pretty close.” 
Looking at the picture, you can’t help but smile, remembering the day Jihoon went with you to the farmer’s market and how he hadn’t complained a single time. Shrugging at Soonyoung’s words, you look down at the food in front of you, pushing around the eggs before sighing softly. 
“He’s a good person. He’s good to me. Don’t you want someone to be good to me?” 
Narrowing his eyes, Soonyoung bites at his bottom lip at the accusation that seems to be lingering right under your question but instead of giving into his anger, he just looks down at his own plate of food and lets out a long, drawn out breath. 
“Course I do, babe. I love you more than anything.” 
Rolling your eyes, you think back to the text messages from Aimi and mutter under your breath that you doubt that, making Soonyoung lean his head in towards you over the counter in confusion. 
“What did you say, baby? I couldn’t hear you.” 
“Nothing, just said... I love you too.” 
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You had watched Soonyoung repack his carry-on and grab a couple of things out of your shared closet before he kissed you goodbye with a concerned look on his face. You only offer him a half smile, leaning against the door frame, as he looks back, telling you he will let you know when he lands and how much he loves you. 
“Mmkay, have a safe flight.” 
Pausing, Soonyoung licks his lips, lifting his hand to block the sun as he looks at you, trying to remember what it felt like when you were head over heels for him. Something was different. He knew it and so did you but neither of you were willing to say it. 
Nodding as his gaze drops to the ground, Soonyoung can only let out a half amused laugh, realizing you hadn’t told him that you loved him back. Maybe it had been a mistake or just because you seemed so tired, but looking up and meeting your eyes—seeing the tears even from halfway down the driveway—he knew it wasn’t. 
“Okay, babe.” 
If this had been the old you—the old Soonyoung—you would have walked to the end of the driveway with him. You would have begged him not to go back and told him how much you loved him—to the end of the earth and back. But that wasn’t who either of you were anymore, so instead, you watched from the door as the car drove down the road before turning back inside and closing the door. 
Normally, you would have shed tears and found yourself curled up in bed with your cellphone clenched against your chest, waiting for him to message you about his flight but this time you knew it was different. You felt like you could breathe. There was a sense of pain mixed with your relief—such a strange feeling that you couldn’t name. 
Jihoon had waited half an hour to come over after Soonyoung had left for his flight. He had sent his texts to his best friend, wishing him a safe flight and all the usual pleasantries but at the heart of it, he was waiting to get back to you. It had been too long since he had seen your face in person and no matter how selfish he was feeling, Jihoon couldn’t make himself feel guilty about it anymore. You were his. 
Using the key you had made for him, Jihoon unlocked your door and dropped his things on the side table before meeting your eyes from the couch, feeling relief wash over him. You were like a breath of fresh air. 
“Hey, honey…”
Only when Jihoon speaks will your tears finally fall. You close your eyes and bring your hands up to cover your face, not wanting him to see you upset but he is the one who has seen you that way the most lately. Arms wrap around you and Jihoon kisses the side of your head as he whispers, It’s okay, only to feel you shake in his embrace. He isn’t sure what you are upset about, but it doesn’t actually matter. All that matters is that he’s going to make it better. 
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“They offered me a full position at the studio.” 
Soonyoung sighed into his words as he looked down at his hand as Aimi slid hers into his. He wasn’t sure if he loved her but she felt nice. At least sometimes she did. Other times, she felt like guilt and regret, but today she felt like a friend and a lover. 
“Are you gonna take it?” 
She could be hopeful. For Aimi, this was starting to turn into love. She loved how Soonyoung looked at her sometimes and how he would hold her after he would fuck her into his mattress. Other times, she was reminded that she wasn’t you. She had no disillusion with who she was and what she was doing, but clearly Soonyoung wasn’t happy and neither were you. 
Shrugging, Soonyoung leans back against his headboard, letting Aimi rest against his chest, her head against his jaw as he traces her fingers like she used to do with you. He missed moments like this with you, but he didn’t know you anymore. The woman he had fallen in love with was a million miles away, not just in distance but in other ways. 
“Maybe…I dunno. I gotta talk to Y/N.” Shifting uncomfortably when he says your name, Soonyoung takes a deep breath and tightens his fingers around Aimi’s. “I go back home in a month. That’s when this job officially ends.” 
Frowning to herself, Aimi looks out at the city skyline and says a silent prayer to herself that maybe Soonyoung will change his mind and stay. Maybe you will tell him to stay, but she keeps it to herself and only nods before meeting his eyes. 
“Okay, well, whatever you decide, you know where I am.” 
Soonyoung can hear the innocence in the girl’s voice and it almost makes him want to laugh. Not at Aimi or at her innocence but more at how, even in the situation, she seems so perfect. Brushing his lips over hers, Soonyoung takes in a breath of her perfume while at the same time letting it wash over his senses and push you further from his mind. She was right; he knew where she was but what he didn’t know was where you were.
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You moan Jihoon’s name, only for him to swallow it with his kiss as his hands slide over your hips. Jihoon was enjoying the feeling of you sitting on his cock but each time you clenched around him, he felt like he was going to explode. 
“Fuck, Y/N…” 
Rolling your hips down over Jihoon, you dig your nails into his shoulders as he rests his head back against the headboard with a long, deep groan. You loved riding Jihoon, especially when you were at his place. Here were no pictures of Soonyoung, nothing you could accidentally make eye contact with as you asked for Jihoon to make you forget. 
Jihoon was so good at making you forget. He was even better at making you want something different. Something that you didn’t think you could ever have because you belonged to someone else. Someone else was in love with you and you had made a promise to wait for him.
“Baby, if you don’t slow down, I’m gonna cum first.” 
Shaking your head at Jihoon’s words, you feel his fingers dig into your hips as you whine against his jaw, not wanting to stop. Gritting his teeth, Jihoon groans your name once again before he feels himself unable to hold back anymore. You rest your forehead against his as you watch Jihoon’s mouth drop open and feel the warmth of his cum start to spill into you. 
Catching his breath, Jihoon shakes his head with a wince, feeling you rock your hips over his softening cock. He knew you had a hard day and he didn’t mind letting you get out your frustrations in any way you wanted to but he still liked to make you feel good. 
Lifting his hands, Jihoon shifts you back from him and cups your cheek to make you look at him as he licks his lips. You feel your cheeks instantly start to burn at his attention and his intense gaze, his eyes studying you as his fingers brush sweat from your temple. 
“You wanna talk about it?” 
Leaning your head back from him, you shake your head no, making Jihoon let out a disapproving breath. He knew there was a lot on your mind but he could only make you say as much as you were willing to. Running his thumb along your jaw, Jihoon nods, glancing towards his nightstand to see where your phone is plugged in. The light draws his eye but more so Soonyoung’s face, letting you know he is calling you. 
“Soonyoung’s calling…” 
Jihoon watches your eyes move to your phone and the way your body stiffens against his. You could ignore it; you had before in other circumstances but he hadn’t called today and you felt like you were made of glass. 
A few more seconds pass before you slide from Jihoon’s lap and sit on the side of the bed before answering your phone. You swallow hard into your words, feeling Jihoon’s hand resting against your hip like an anchor. 
“Hello?” 
Soonyoung leans against his balcony door, glancing towards his bed, where Aimi sighs in her sleep as you finally answer your phone. You didn’t sound overjoyed to hear from him, but that was his usual greeting—it still hurt. 
“Hey, baby. I just…” 
You listen as Soonyoung scoffs into a sad laugh as you furrow your brows, trying to figure out how you are supposed to feel or respond. Shaking your head, you start to speak when he continues. 
“Just—uh, I wanted to check in. Didn’t talk to you much today or yesterday. I mean, fuck, let’s be honest, we haven’t talked much since I got back.” 
He wasn’t wrong. You could count the number of phone calls on two hands over the span of the last month and the text messages were not much better. Most were either one of you saying you were thinking of the other or checking in, but every time it felt like keeping up appearances. 
“I’m…I’m sorry. I can try to do better if you want. I’ve just been busy, Soonyoung.” 
Shaking his head, Soonyoung bites at his lip when you try to apologize and come up with an excuse without actually giving any real excuse. He knew he wasn’t any better but once again, it still hurt. 
“No, it’s fine. I get it. I’m busy, too. Always fucking busy, right? That’s us…” 
Tears sting your eyes, making your vision blurry as you hear the hurt in Soonyoung’s voice. Closing your eyes, the tears fall over your cheeks, only for you to try to sniff them back as quietly as possible. Hearing your tears, Jihoon sits up, moving closer to you, trying to pull you back towards him, only for you to shake your head. 
When Soonyoung hears you crying, his own tears finally fall. Nodding, he lifts his free hand to wipe at his cheek with a groan before sniffing back the tears and pushing off the wall. 
“But I’ll be home in a month, right? So we can just see what happens. Right, Y/N?”
You can hear the hope in his voice layered with all that sorrow and it only serves to break your heart more as you shake your head and shrug. Licking the salty tears from your lips, you lift your arm to wipe away your own tears before making yourself calm down. 
“Yeah, a month, Soonie.” 
The name Soonie makes Soonyoung close his eyes and drop his head. It used to make him smile when you’d call him the cute name and tell him how much you loved him but now it feels like his heart is breaking. 
“Okay…goodnight, baby.”
Leaning your head back, you take a breath, letting it out as you hear the finality in Soonyoung’s words. The tone of his voice makes you wonder how hard he will try to stay in touch before he shows up back at home. 
“Night. I love—” 
Hearing the phone disconnect before you finish your sentence tells you everything you need to know.
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Jihoon couldn’t help but watch the days tick by. Never in his life could he remember a month going by as quickly as this one seemed to. He wanted to hold on to each and every minute he had left with this little life he had made up with you but every single day passing was a reminder that it was ending. 
He wondered, selfishly, if he just told you how he felt if you’d tell Soonyoung what was happening and ask him not to come home. But then he’d be hit with guilt. That never stopped his feelings or the urge to tell you how much he cared about you. 
Holding you in his arms, your arm draped over his stomach as you traced some design made up in your head on his forearm, Jihoon watched you under the moonlight. There was less than a week left before Soonyoung would be back, laying where he was now. The thought of it made his stomach twist and his heart feel like it was breaking. 
“Y/N, honey…” 
You smile softly at the pet name, your lips pulling up against Jihoon’s skin, before you glance up at him, seeing questions in his eyes. That look had been there for a while now but it was as if he were afraid to say anything, afraid you’d run away. Maybe now was the time, before there was no time left. 
“What…well—what happens when Soonyoung gets home?” 
Your smile fades at Jihoon’s question because that wasn’t what you thought he was going to ask. You weren’t sure what he was going to ask but you hadn’t expected it to be about Soonyoung. Swallowing hard, you lay your head back down and look out your window towards the sky as if some sort of answer lies in the stars but nothing helps. 
“I–Jihoon…I don’t know. I guess things just…” 
Lifting your hand from his arm, you gesture into the air, trying to express your words as Jihoon’s eyes follow them, but it only serves to confuse him and make his heart beat faster. Shaking his head, Jihoon shifts under you, making you sit up as he does. You tilt your head with a whine, feeling his hands on either side of your cheeks as his eyes search for yours. 
“Guess things, what? Go back to how they were. Seriously, Y/N? Is that what you fucking want?” 
Closing your eyes, you feel tears welling up in your eyes at the questions leaving Jihoon’s mouth. You knew what you wanted the answers to be but life wasn’t always that simple. Holding your face still but gently, Jihoon swallows back his emotion with a curse under his breath as he watches your tears stream down your cheeks. 
“Baby...come on. Look me in the eyes and tell me that you still love him. I mean, fuck, look me in the eye and tell me that you don’t love me!” 
Lifting your hands, you hold Jihoon’s wrists as you keep your eyes shut tightly to try to save yourself from hurting him or lying. When Jihoon whines your name, tears are evident in his voice. You just shake your head and finally meet his eyes. 
“It’s not that simple, Jihoon! Fuck! I wish it was! I want it to be, but god, it’s just not!” 
Dropping his hands into your lap, Jihoon blinks tears from his eyes as he nods, understanding what you are trying to say. You watch as he turns his head away from you and furrows his brows before taking his hands from you and sliding off the bed. Your heart tightens in your chest as you reach for his hand, only for Jihoon to move it from your reach. 
“I’m gonna head home.” 
You shake your head, moving to your knees on the bed, a whine of Jihoon’s name on your lips when he turns back towards you to take your face back in his hands. Leaning to rest his forehead against yours, Jihoon sniffs back his tears as you cling to his forearms and whisper that you don’t want him to go. 
“I have to, honey. Things go back to how they were, right?” 
Kissing you softly, Jihoon only lingers for a moment before he presses his lips to your forehead and leaves you watching him from your bed, tears streaming down your face. You listen to the sound of your front door opening and closing before emotion ripples through your body and you find you can’t hold yourself upright anymore. 
There was heartache when it came to Soonyoung but this felt worse. Now the walls that had built up around you were shattering around you and there was no safety left from the storm. You knew you had created the storm—though you hadn’t created it alone—it was yours to name and it was yours to weather. 
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You had forgotten how little Soonyoung had taken with him to Tokyo when he had left a year ago. You listened to the sound of water running as Soonyoung took his shower just down the hall from where you stood, unpacking his suitcase, bit by bit. 
There are so many memories attached to items and then there are so many new things that you don’t recognize at all. For the few hours that Soonyoung had been home, the conversation had been light. There had been discussion about what you had planned for dinner and how his flight had gone.
“Y/N…uh babe…” 
Soonyoung’s voice pulls you back to the present as you glance over your shoulder to look at him, his towel around his waist, a look of confusion on his face as he moves further into the room. Swallowing hard, he laughs awkwardly before gesturing to his suitcase on the bed. 
“I can do that. You don't... just leave my shit alone.” 
Gently moving your hands from one of his shirts, Soonyoung pulls the suitcase closer to him. Taking a step back, you scoff at your boyfriend before shaking your head and running your hand over your hair. You could feel the tension thickening in the air even as you turned away, leaving him in the bedroom alone with his shit. 
Soonyoung hadn’t meant to upset you, but he wasn’t used to you being in his space anymore. He was used to you going through his things anymore. Groaning under his breath as he listens to the sound of you opening and closing cabinets in the kitchen louder than necessary, Soonyoung works to get dressed before staring at his suitcases, trying to decide where to start. 
The idea was simple, the task seemed impossible. Put the clothes away and live like he had never left. But that wasn’t going to be so easy in a place where he didn’t feel like he belonged anymore. 
You weren’t looking for things to annoy you about Soonyoung; however, it seemed that everything did now that he was home. You were reminded that he frequently forgot to put down the toilet seat and that he didn’t always put the lid back on the toothpaste. So as you sat on the couch near him after a silent dinner, he could feel the chill in the air, making him finally pause the unwatched movie on the TV. 
“I was watching that.” 
Shaking his head, Soonyoung turns to look at you, reaching for your hand, only to feel you start to pull away. He had expected it, but it still hurt. He was inches from you and he still felt like he was a world away. 
“You weren’t, Y/N. You have been pissed off at me since I got out of the shower.” 
Shrugging, you let Soonyoung run his thumb along your palm as he tries to calm you down, but all you can think about is how much you miss Jihoon and how it’s been days since he’s answered your texts. You can just feel how much your heart is in your throat because you can’t have him where Soonyoung is right now. 
“No…I–” 
“Just stop! I–fuck, Y/N! I’m home and it’s the same. I could be across the world and we’d be doing the same shit. So, when do we just stop? I can’t do this anymore. You–dammit…” 
You stop talking as Soonyoung yells at you, his hand dropping yours as he leans back to run his hand over his face. You watch as tears collect in his eyes, all the emotion that he has been holding back rushing to the surface as he thinks about what he is doing and what it is going to mean. Gesturing towards you, Soonyoung feels like panicking and taking back his words before he even says them, but he already knows it’s too late. 
“I fucked up. I…I–I slept with someone else, Y/N and I—” 
Shaking his head, Soonyoung watches as your brows furrow and the tears that had been collecting in your eyes fall down over your cheeks. Lowering his head, he reaches back out for your hand, taking it into his before meeting your eyes and taking a breath before speaking. 
“I’m sorry —” 
“I don’t think that I love you anymore, Soonyoung.” 
Your words cut off his, making Soonyoung stop suddenly. Perhaps he knew that you didn’t love him anymore but hearing it out loud felt like a bomb going off in his chest. You feel his hands tremble around yours as he lets out a shaky breath and nods, trying to form the right words only to start and stop making you speak up first. 
“I slept with Jihoon. I–I’m in love with Jihoon. I’m sorry…” 
Letting go of your hand, Soonyoung rubs his hand over his mouth when you confess what you have done to him. He knew the two of you had gotten close, and now knowing he wasn’t so crazy for being suspicious made Soonyoung’s heart drop into his stomach. 
“What the fuck, Y/N…” 
It’s you that reach out for Soonyoung’s hand, only for him to pull them away harshly, his eyes meeting yours with disdain before they soften slightly. He knew he was being hypocritical. He had done exactly what you had done but it felt worse because it was Jihoon. It felt personal because it was his best friend and his girlfriend. 
“I thought...fuck, I don't know what I fucking thought. That I’d tell you what a fuck up I was, and you and I would start over.” Sighing into a groan, Soonyoung leans his head forward, feeling you run your hand over his cheek as he continues. “We both fucked up, Y/N. Real bad…” 
Looking up to try to stop more tears, you only feel more fall and drip along your neck as you nod along with Soonyoung’s words. The truth was painful, but it was better than the lies that you had used to build up some fake security around yourself to hide from the pain. 
“We just…we fell out of love, Soonyoung.” 
Sitting in silence, seconds turn to minutes and minutes turn to an hour before Soonyoung finally stands up and draws your attention with him. You watch as the man shrugs and wipes his tears from his cheeks before he holds out his hands as if laying out everything on the table. 
“I was offered the job at the studio as a full-time position. I had told them I was going to think about it… but I–I’m gonna take it, Y/N.” 
You can only nod as Soonyoung lets out a breath before shaking his head as if that’s all he has left to say and walks from the room, leaving you alone on the couch. The emotions you find are like waves in moments of extreme change. You are washed over with relief from telling the truth and then pushed back with pain from the end of a relationship, only to be washed over with the feeling of hope.
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It was raining the morning that Soonyoung left for the airport and you were left with an extra set of keys. You had spent time walking around the rooms, picking up the last bits of your relationship. It seemed that with each picture you collected or each stuffed animal you put away, the rain would fall harder along with your tears, making you only think of one person. 
Jihoon.
He didn’t know what had happened and you knew you had put him through enough. Just the thought of him as you moved into the kitchen, seeing the picture of the two of you at the farmer’s market, was enough to break your resolve and cause you to find yourself less than an hour later at his door, shivering from the rain. 
The storm had only gotten worse throughout the day so hearing his doorbell and your voice calling his name from his door made Jihoon’s heart drop to his stomach. A list of reasons you could be at his door came to his mind as he made his way to you. Soonyoung had been in an accident, you had been hurt, something terrible had happened, or maybe just—no, you couldn’t be there for him. 
Opening his door, Jihoon’s breath is taken away by seeing you after so many days, your hair and clothes soaked as you shiver from the rain. Grabbing your hand, he pulled you in and looked you over for any signs of injury but all he could find were your tears mixing with the rain on your cheeks. 
“What are you doing, Y/N? Why…why didn’t you grab a coat or something? You’re gonna get sick…” 
Shaking your head, you just smile, wrapping your arms around Jihoon’s neck, pulling him close to you, and making him take in a deep breath as you suddenly hug him. He could feel his clothes becoming instantly soaked, but he couldn’t find any reason to care as he wrapped his arms around you and held you close as you clung to him. 
“I’m so sorry, Jihoon. I’m so stupid. I love you so much.” 
Confusion is what hits Jihoon first when you tell him that you love him. He thinks he is hearing things but you say it again and Jihoon holds you even tighter before letting out a shaky breath. 
“I love you too. Tell me what’s going on, honey.” 
Letting Jihoon finally move away from you so he can look at your face once again, you lean into his touch as you recount the past couple of days. You explain the fight with Soonyoung and the confessions. Wincing at the idea of Soonyoung’s pain, Jihoon’s brows furrow as he runs his hand along your cheek before resting his forehead against yours. 
“He’s right, we did this all fucking wrong, baby. I hate that it happened like this, but... I don’t regret it. I can’t…”
Nodding along with Jihoon, you grab at his shirt, pulling him back close to you as you tell him you love him again and claim your first kiss in days from him. Jihoon’s brows furrow deeply, feeling your lips on his, making him want more after missing you so much. 
With a small grunt on your lips, Jihoon tugs you close and lifts you, letting you wrap your legs around his waist so he can carry you down the hall towards his bedroom. Hearing you whine into the kiss, he smiles and shakes his head, only to nip at your lips when he turns into the bathroom and places you on the counter. 
“Stay right here…” 
Jihoon smirks to himself upon hearing you whisper his name, your fingers clinging to his shirt even as he pulls away from you to lean into the shower, turning it on. You watch as steam starts to fill the room and as Jihoon tugs his shirt over his head before kicking his sweatpants off, leaving him bare in front of you. There was something different about seeing him now, his body on display for you as his blonde hair started to fall from its low bun. You knew he was yours and he was seeing you as his. 
“Gotta get you outta those wet clothes, honey. You are gonna get sick; I don’t want that.” 
Biting at your lip, you lift your arms as Jihoon tugs at your shirt, pulling it up and over your head. You close your eyes, leaning your head back and relishing the feeling of his soft lips pressing to the swell of your breasts over your bra as his fingers work the clasp loose. 
“Mm, not gonna get sick, Hoonie. Oh, fuck…” 
You whine out a moan, leaning back against the mirror, when Jihoon’s mouth wraps around your nipple, your bra falling to the floor. Smiling against your skin, Jihoon glances up even at such a close distance to watch your mouth fall open in a moan of his name as he uses his free hand to roll the other hardening bud between his index finger and thumb. 
With a soft popping sound, Jihoon lets go of your breasts, moving from one to the other, letting you squirm on the counter with him between your thighs. Sliding your fingers over his arms and the other hand through his hair, you arch your chest towards Jihoon’s mouth as you mutter a quiet plea for more, telling him how much you missed him. 
“Yeah? Did you miss me? How much?” 
Fingers push into the top of your pants as you lift your hips, letting Jihoon work them down your legs. You try to articulate your words to let Jihoon know how much you missed him, but just incoherently mutters his name and please fall from your lips, making him smirk as his hands push your thighs apart, letting him see how wet you have gotten just from his teasing. 
“Shit…You are so pretty. How am I gonna let you go home?” 
Shaking your head, you meet Jihoon’s eyes as he moves down to his knees in front of the bathroom counter, pulling you to the edge. The warmth of his tongue running from your entrance to your clit sends a shockwave through your body. Your skin erupts with chill bumps and your toes point as you try to lift your hips from the counter. 
Pushing your hips down with one arm, Jihoon groans to your taste as if committing it to memory just in case something were to happen again and he were to not get you back into his bed. Your fingers dig into his hair, feeling Jihoon’s mouth wrap around your clit, only for him to lap his tongue around the bundle of nerves, making your thighs shake. 
“Don’t wanna…ah! Don’t wanna go home without you, Jihoon. Fuck!” 
Your words almost cause Jihoon to pull back from what he is doing, but your hand keeps his head between your legs as your orgasm rips through you and your cum begins to drip on to his waiting tongue. Groaning at your taste, Jihoon uses his lips to pull at your soft folds, listening to the sounds of your whines as he overstimulates you until you start to close your thighs around his head. Only then does he smile against your pussy, placing one last kiss on your wet folds before standing back up to claim your lips, letting you taste yourself in his mouth. 
Your words hadn’t gone by without him noticing, but Jihoon still had much on his mind and wanted in you. Feeling you gasp on his lips, Jihoon picks you up once more and walks with you into his shower, letting the door close behind him. You sigh against his lips as he puts you up against the tile wall, letting the warm water rain down over the both of you.
Smiling against your lips, Jihoon slides his hands along your legs, letting you stand on one, keeping the other at his hip as he speaks between kisses. You can only furrow your brows and let out a moan, feeling his cock slide into you slowly. The stretch is welcomed and intense as Jihoon pins you against the shower wall. 
“You don’t want to go home without me?” 
Shaking your head, you gasp, feeling Jihoon bottom out inside of you. Fingers scratch along the back of your leg towards your knee as Jihoon moves his kisses to your jaw and then your neck, leaving bites and marks on his way to your ear as you moan his name at your answer. 
“Uh huh… miss you. Please, oh fuck… don’t stop.” 
With your earlobe between his lips, Jihoon smiles, feeling you clench down on his cock when he thrusts into you hard and deep. He wasn’t in a rush. He wanted to feel every bit of you around him and he wanted to make sure you felt every inch of him as if he were made for you. Jihoon wanted to fill you full of him in every single way, even if he wouldn’t say it out loud to you in the moment, as his hand moved over your stomach, gently pushing down over your lower abdomen. 
“I’m not gonna stop, baby… fuck…I wanna be this deep in you all the fucking time.”
Jihoon had dirty talk with you before, especially when you had asked him to be rough with you, but this was different. You could feel how deep he was inside of you and you could almost feel how true his words were. You wanted as much as he did. Laying your hand over his, you gasp as Jihoon’s eyes meet yours with a hard thrust, sending you over the edge once again. 
“Good girl, good fucking girl. Cum for me, honey.” 
Watching you fall apart for him was almost better than anything Jihoon could physically experience until your walls clenched around him like a vice. Your hips roll towards him and Jihoon is a goner. Any intention he had to hold back his own climax is gone as he groans your name and bites at your lips, pushing his cum into you with each thrust. 
By the time you and Jihoon catch your breath, the water starts to go cold. Smiling on your lips, Jihoon slides his tongue against yours for one more deep kiss that makes your mind go blank before he has you on your own two feet once again. 
You rely on him to keep you upright as he laughs when you start to complain about the cold water as he finishes cleaning between your legs. Jihoon just looks at you with love and wonder as he helps you out of the shower and wraps a towel around you, knowing you are his. 
When you finally wake up in Jihoon’s bed a few hours later, you are happy to find him beside you, his arm under your head, as the moon shines through his window. Turning towards him, you can’t help the urge to run your fingers over his cheek and nose, making Jihoon flinch at your touch and open his eyes slowly to find you looking at him. 
“Mm, why aren’t you still asleep, honey?” 
Sliding closer to Jihoon, you let him hold you in his arms and press his lips to your forehead. The guilt that got you here washed away with the rain of the storm that you had created. He had weathered it with you and kept you safe even when you felt like you were drowning. 
“Was just missing you. I love you, Jihoon.” 
Closing his eyes, Jihoon shakes his head and sighs tiredly as you kiss his jaw. He was never going to get tired of hearing that.
“I love you too, honey.” 
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number1jeonginstan · 6 months
Note
Hiii!! I saw you take requests! I was wondering if could request something.
Really sweet sex with Chan x fem! Reader. You go out to a fancy party he needs to be seen at. He helps you into your dress and zips it up for you, he applies your mascara. Once they get back from the party, he just wants to show his love, you know? Really sweet sex with chan where he’s super gentle and sweet. I don’t have any preferences for that other than that at some point, he eats us out.
Also, can I be 🌻 anon?
-🌻
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A/N: You gave me too much liberty with this fic. Something about Chan in a suit just makes me wanna go feral! I made it so he cough proposes cough because what’s cuter than that? Nothing! Anyway, I had so much fun writing this, it’s my longest fic to date and I’m so proud of it so I hope you like it and it does you justice! It just makes me so happy when people enjoy my writing!
WC: 3.5k (I genuinely asked myself what the fuck I was on when I saw that I wrote over 7 pages… this is the longest thing I’ve ever written)
Minors don't interact, 18+
Pairing: Non!Idol Bangchan x Gf(to a little more?)afab!reader
Warning: Tooth rotting fluff, like I felt like my teeth were falling out while writing this because I tried making it hella cute! Unprotected sex (Is it really one of my stories if they don’t have an underlying breeding kink?) 
“Hey babe, can you please help me zip this up?” you ran into your and Chan’s shared bedroom wearing a black tight-fighting sparkly dress. You guys were attending the Grammy’s where Chan was being nominated for best producer and songwriter. He was dressed head to toe in Givenchy, wearing a full black look. “Fuck baby, you look amazing,” he said while coming behind you and zipping your dress. 
He kissed your shoulder, his face falling into the crook of your neck. “So do you,” you said, turning around to admire him. He had kept his hair natural, his curls framing his forehead. “I’m so proud of you!” 
You kissed his lips, your lipstick slightly rubbing onto his, making his lips look red. “I’m so proud of you and everything you’ve achieved.” Chan had worked so hard to get to where he was in life and you would be stupid not to admit that. You know the time and effort he put into his work and you want him to see that what he has done has not been futile. 
You wanted to see him up on that stage, receiving the award that he has been working the last 7 years for. His close friends, Jisung and Changbin, were also going to be there, rooting him on. “We should get going, we don’t want to be late to you winning that award” you gave him a grin. 
“Babe, there are so many other more talented artists that are up for that award, I don’t think I’m going to win.” He groaned, following suit behind you, picking up your car keys from the counter. 
You stopped him mid-in his tracks. “Are you fucking kidding me?” you turned him around, forcing him to face you. “You are so talented and need to stop looking down at yourself” You fixed his tie, “You are going to win and then when we get home I’m gonna give you a reward.” You walked away from him quickly, hearing him jog to catch up to you. 
“And what would that reward be?” grabbing your waist as you were getting out of the door. “Now that is a surprise.” 
You both finally got into his car, you in the passenger seat while his right hand gripped your thigh, the other on the wheel. It was a comfortable silence, while you zoned out, looking out the window, he occasionally looked at you. He grinned to himself, what would he do without you. 
When you finally arrived at the show, you told him to walk the red carpet alone. “They don’t know who I am, but they need to know you, so please just go.” He wouldn’t budge, “I’m not going without you, I would rather turn around and go home. Jisung or Bin can represent me instead.” 
You groaned out loud, “Why, this is your moment, you should do this by yourself.” He stopped you mid-sentence. “This is our moment, I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for you, so we are going together or not at all. “Fine, let’s go together superstar” you giggled into his ear, eliciting a laugh from him. 
You guys walked through the red carpet, cameras flashing all around you. You felt like you were going blind, but for Chan, it was second nature. Someone had called him over and he dragged you along with him. 
“So Chris, tell us what you are dressed in. If I may say, you look quite dapper.” The reporter stated, causing Chan to laugh a bit. “My girlfriend and I” he wrapped his hand around your hip, pulling you closer to him “are both wearing Givenchy.”  
“Wow, can I say, you both look beautiful, but now on to the serious question. How does it feel to be nominated for a Grammy? 
“I feel great, I’m so thankful to all my fans for putting me in the position where I can make music that they enjoy. I am also thankful for my family, friends, and most of all my girlfriend for always being there for me, giving me constant support, and dealing with my constant all-nighters” he poked your cheek, “to help me get to where I am and do what I love.” 
“Wow, well thank you so much for your time, I wish you the best of luck and I hope the two of you have an amazing night!” 
You both waved the reporter goodbye, wishing her a good rest of her night. You both walked around a bit, meeting big names and saying hi. Looking around Chris could feel the effort he’s been putting in for the past few years. 
The all-nighters, the never coming home, the days where he forgot dates with you or anniversaries. You stood beside him through all of it, you were the one that was constantly supporting him, and that’s why he wanted to surprise you when you got home tonight.
The ring he had bought to propose to you was burning a hole through his pocket. He prayed that you didn’t know, that it could be a surprise for when the two of you got home. He even got Changbin and Jisung in on it, convincing them to let him go home with you after in exchange for tickets to the after-party. 
“Wow, it is beautiful in here,” you said, looking at the room in awe. Then you pointed out the stage, “look that’s where you are going to get your award” you giggled, kissing his cheek. 
“How many times have we talked about this, I don’t know if I’m going to win or not” he groaned into your ear, the both of you walking to your designated seats, sitting down. “How many times have I told you not to think negatively? I believe you are going to win, so that’s good enough for me.” 
He sighed next to you, you had no idea how lucky he was to find you. He would have been lost without you, aimlessly swimming in the sea, if it wasn’t for you, his rock. When the two of you first started dating, you always told him to achieve his dreams. 
It was five months into your relationship, and you both were supposed to go on a date, but he was so wrapped up in work that he forgot about it. He also forgot basic necessities, like eating and sleeping, he was just too enamored with his work. You had ended up calling him and asking him where he was. He profusely apologized telling you that he had lost all track of time, that he would be right there, but you just told him to not worry about it. 
What he didn't expect was that you were going to bring him a basket of food he liked to his studio. “I told you not to worry about it!” you giggled, bringing his favorite dish. “I know how hard you work, so please don’t worry about it. It’s okay if you forget sometimes, I don’t want to get in the way of you and your passion, as long as you make some time for me!” 
That was the moment he knew he was in love with you. From then on, he tried to put a little less focus into his music, and some into you. He loved that after work, you would come to the studio with him, listen to his demos, and give input. His last relationship was nothing like this. He was constantly busy and the girl ended up cheating on him, making it hard for him to trust others again, but when it came to you, everything came naturally. 
It wasn’t just him that loved you, it was the artist he worked with. Jisung and Changbin also loved you, constantly asking to hang around with you. You were perfect for him, and he never wanted to let you go. 
“Are you excited, your category is next!” He had lost all track of time, just thinking about you. He just smiled, he wanted to win, but he also knew that if he didn’t he still had you. You would never amount his success to the numbers or awards he won, but the effort he put into his work. He just looked at you with his signature smile. “Yeah, I hope I win.” 
That was the first time he ever said anything like that and you beamed a smile at him. “I know you will” you whispered into his ear. As the commercial break was going on before the next award was presented, he took a sip of your champagne, trying to cool down his own nerves. You looked at him in shock, Chan barely ever drank. “Something to help with the nerves,” he told you and you just nodded. 
The infomercials had finally ended and they were about to announce the winner of the best producer of the year. You took Chan’s hand in yours in anticipation, “And the winner is… drum roll please” Your grip around his hand tightened “Christopher Bahng!” 
His face was one of shock, he was bewildered seeing the camera on him. You just smiled at him, clapping. He quickly got up and walked to the stage. The hostess passed him a mic while he stood with the Grammy in his hand. 
“Ummm, wow I was not expecting this at all” the room laughed, “I want to keep this short and sweet, but I don’t think I can. I truly appreciate everyone who has been with me since the beginning, it warms my heart knowing that so many people enjoy the music I make and I am appreciative to my close friends Changbin and Han who helped me make my music” 
You heard them shout behind you, while people stared in their direction. “I want to thank my family and especially my girlfriend especially because without them I don’t think I would have made it this far. I am entirely grateful for all the support, and please look out for new music. Thank you once again!” 
Everyone cheered as he got off the stage and you ran up to him, giving him a bear hug. “I told you, I know everything, I knew you would win.” Before you could even finish your sentence, he kissed your lips. “Thank you, for everything, truly, I love you so much,” he said, kissing your lips again. “I love you too.”
After the show was over, you were prepared to go to the after-party, but as you got into the car, you saw the map showing your address. “Channie, don’t you want to go celebrate?” you asked, a bit puzzled. “I do, and I want to celebrate with you, in the comfort of our home.” 
You just sighed, confused by his decision, but happy that he was going to get some rest at home. The drive back was just as silent, you falling asleep, face pressed to the window. You were tired from the entire day and were glad to get some rest, Chan was also glad because he knew the night you both had in store.
When you both got home, you were about to open your side when Chris stopped you. “Nuh uh” he said, wiggling his finger causing a giggle from your lips. He walked around, opening your side of the car. “Wow, I really am a passenger princess aren’t I?” 
“You don’t even know the most of it.” 
Before your feet could even touch the ground, he picked you up, carrying you bridal style to the door. As you got inside, he told you to enter, he had to get something from the car. You just nodded, taking off your shoes at the front entrance, and turning on the light to your apartment. 
You saw an entire row of pedals on the floor, covering every inch. You walked in still confused, seeing your living room covered with pictures of you and Chan, memories from your dates, even the napkin from your first date when you accidentally dropped coffee on his lap, profusely apologizing. “Channie, what’s going on?” 
You turned around to see him on one knee in front of you. “I didn’t expect to be giving two speeches today, but this one is more important than the one I gave earlier in the night. You have been here through thick and thin, you stayed up just to see me and give me a kiss some nights. You sat with me when I got the flu, you make me feel like I’m the only man in the world. That day when you brought food to my studio, I knew I was in love with you. You are the only person in this universe for me. Will you please make me the happiest man on this planet, and marry me?” 
You began to sob in front of him, “Is that a yes or a no? Because I had to bribe Felix to do this for me, and that was hard, I had to buy him a brand new CPU and GPU.” Before he continued to ramble on, you grabbed him, brought him back to his feet, and kissed him. “Yes, yes, yes, a million times yes.” 
He grinned into your kiss, placing the ring on your finger. “Christopher Chan Bhang, this is way too big, how much did this cost?” You looked at the ring placed on your finger, it was huge. “Not much for a Grammy award winner like me” he giggled, picking you up and spinning around. “Now please, let me show you how much you mean to me.” 
You simply nodded, allowing him to take you to your shared bedroom. “Though I think you look absolutely stunning in this dress, let me take it off you?” You simply nodded, allowing him to undo the zipper, slowly pulling the dress off you. You covered your tits with your arms, the dress having padding, making it so you didn’t have to wear a bra. You were just in your panties. 
“Fuck baby, you always look so beautiful,” he said, causing you to look at him shyly. No matter how many times you both have slept together, you always felt like it was the first time. He was so attentive, loving every inch of your body like you were heaven on earth. He placed a kiss to your lips, laying you on the bed. 
You tried to undo his pants as he took off his tux jacket, but he stopped you. “Tonight is about you princess okay? Be a good girl and let me take care of you.” You just nodded, wanting to speak up, but not wanting to stop him. 
“Fuck princess, you look so good. Always look so good for me, look at you.” He dragged his hands against your thighs, kissing you as he brought a hand to your nipple, playing with it. You moaned as he began to rub against it. “Fuck, always so vocal for me.” 
He placed another kiss on your lips before he went down, slowly opening your thighs with his hands. “Just want to taste you, baby”
He began to kiss your thighs, making you squirm underneath him. His kisses were wet and hot, but they felt amazing. He slowly worked himself to the place you needed him most. He placed a kiss on your covered cunt, taking his hand and hooking it to your underwear, slowly bringing it down your legs. 
You could feel the cool air on your pussy, causing you to moan. Before you could even react fully, he licked a strip on your folds, making you moan. “Fuck baby, you just keep tasting better and better, can’t get enough of your delicious cunt.” 
He began to dive into your pussy like a man starved, placing a finger on your clit while he worked in and out of your hole. You moaned and brought your hand to his hair. “Want you to sit on my face, can you do that baby?” You nodded, you had never done it before scared that you were somehow going to hurt him, but he looked at you with his pleading eyes. 
You couldn’t say no to him, it looked like he wanted to do it more than you. You got up, allowing him to lay down underneath you. He rid himself of his clothes first, the only piece of clothing on his body being his boxers. You placed your hands on the headboard as he lay underneath you, grabbing your things with his hands. 
“I have a pretty big nose you know, and it’s perfect for this.” Before you could even giggle at what he said, he began to eat your cunt out. His nose was rubbing against your clit, causing you to moan out his name.
“Fuck, so good Channie, so good, you feel so good.” He moaned in response, the vibrations being sent through your hole and to your core. His tongue was hitting that spot inside of you, making you feel wonders. You didn’t think you could stay up any longer. “Feels good baby?” He spoke into you, causing you to moan even louder. “So good, can’t control myself”
“It’s okay baby, get off on my face, cum all over it baby please.” You moaned, he took one of his fingers, adding extra stimulation to your clit, causing you to cum all over his face. He kept going, over-stimulating you. “Fuck baby, you taste so good, can’t wait to taste you for the rest of our lives. 
“Please Channie, need you, need your cock inside of me.” That was all Chan needed to flip you around. You were underneath him and you could still see your cum dripping off his face. He kissed you, his tongue entering your mouth, allowing you to taste your arousal on him. “Baby, I’m so excited for you to take my cock.” 
He took off his boxers, and let his dick slap his stomach. Chan’s size never seemed to surprise you, he was so big, but it was perfect. His cock was perfect for you, always hitting the specific spots inside you. “Give me a second baby, let me go get a condom” 
You stopped him, “Want it in me raw this time” You looked at him with your doe eyes. If looks could kill, Chan would be dead right now. He felt like he ascended to heaven right there and then. “Fuck baby, gonna fuck you so well then. You weren’t joking when you said you had a surprise for me.”  
He slowly entered his cock inside you, making the both of you moan at the same time. “Fuck princess, this pussy takes me so well, I’m so glad that this is going to be mine forever.” 
His cock was finally fully in you, he slowly began to fuck into you, already hitting that spongey part inside of you causing you to moan his name. “Fuck, so good Channie, you feel so good.” 
He kissed your lips again, you both weren’t fucking, you were making love. He started thrusting inside you faster as you wrapped your legs around him. It was your signal to him that you wanted more, that you wanted to be drilled into the bed, and that’s exactly what he did. 
You were both moaning, your pussy clenching around him and his cock throbbing inside of you. You both were close, your moans becoming more and more as his grunts became louder. “Want to cum with you okay princess” you just nodded, “want you to cum in me Chris”
That was exactly what you both needed to cum over the edge. His cock came inside of you, your walls covered in his cum as your walls milked him dry. The both of you lay like this for what felt like hours until he spoke up. “Let me clean you up”
You allowed him to, he picked you up after he drew a bath for the both of you. 
“What was that surprise you wanted to give me?” he asked as you guys finally got back into bed. “You will find out in the morning,” you said kissing his lips before the both of you fell asleep in each other’s arms. 
You woke up to hear screaming outside your room. “There is a puppy at our door!” you heard him shout from your shared bedroom. He ran into the room. “This was the surprise?” he grinned, his smile spread from ear to ear. “We have to start our family some way?” you said. He stared at the dog in awe, petting behind his ears. 
“What should I name you, huh?” he said in a baby voice. “I’m thinking wolfie, he kind of looks like a wolf, and you. That’s why I got him.” 
He came over, pecking kisses all over your face. “I love you y/n” 
“I love you too Chris” 
taglist: @sclassstay @minhosify @brooklynie
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sunflower-lilac42 · 1 month
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✧ 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭'𝐬 𝐎𝐮𝐭 | trevor zegras ♔
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summary: when the news is out between trevor and jack's sister, things take a turn for the worse.
warnings: media, being exposed
published: 3/25/24
notes: two fics in one day? one week? I'm a changed person. this is very based off of red, white and royal blue because i love that movie with my whole soul. it's so good, i highly recommend it. anyway, this is it for the fics i had planned so I'm going to focus on my three au's for the rest of the week but if another fic comes out don't be surprised. let me know if you want a part two because i would be glad to write it | add yourself to the taglist ➺ taglist!
nhl masterlist | main masterlist
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Nothing was how it should be. They were supposed to be careful, they were careful. They were only seen together when it would make sense for them to be together; when he was in town for a game, when he was supposed to be hanging out with her brothers, or when he had a game against the Devils or the Canucks. And when they were seen together, they made sure everything was strictly platonic, no hand touches, no stolen glances, no nothing.
However, maybe they should’ve accounted for the fact that one, her friends were journalists, and two, her friends weren’t really her friends in the first place. They had a few classes together in college, back when she was still undecided, but despite that? They only found her interesting because of her last name and who shared it.
Somehow she was too predictable, her password was as basic as it got. It was the day Trevor asked her to be his girlfriend, they’re anniversary. It was the best day of both of their lives but now it was the root of all their problems. It wasn’t the biggest scandal on the dance floor, there were things much worse going on in the NHL and the world in general. No one would care about this besides the Zegras and the Hughes families and the girls who were too obsessed with hockey players and their relationships for their own good.
She was studying abroad in England this past year and she couldn’t help but fall in love with it. She had decided to extend her stay into the fall semester, not wanting to go back home. This sort of worked in her favor, she was 3,444 miles from Jack and Luke and 4,632 miles from Quinn. She was in a different time zone, country, and continent than them. All she had to do to avoid them was not answer her phone. 
She was good at that, blocking out social media and her phone as a whole. Growing up the sister of hockey players and her mom being who she was in the hockey world, she got used to the hate and backlash she got from not wanting to do hockey. Her phone was shut off and thrown into her desk drawer. Her friends tried to comfort her but were to no avail, she was too worried about what other people thought about it.
Not only had pictures of them been put out into the world but their text messages as well. However, she couldn’t remember a time she left her phone unattended. She hadn’t spoken to Trevor in two weeks, she hadn’t spoken to anybody besides her roommates in two weeks. She had seen a couple of articles and videos that were spreading, the one of Trevor’s interviews where he was addressing the situation was not only the biggest one but the most recent one. 
It was before the game, that the reporter had asked him about how everything in the media that was speculating had impacted him and his play. To which he responded with, “Y/n and I are together and have been since the beginning of the season. And whether people choose to support or hate it, isn’t my problem nor my business. We’re happy and hope everyone can support that decision and respect our privacy. I fell in love with a girl who happens to be related to my best friend. How is this affecting my mindset? I wouldn’t say it has, I’m still planning, and Greg still thinks I’m playing as best as I can and even better. I’m worried about her, that’s for sure. She hasn’t had the best track record with the media.”
He said a few more words, none of which mattered to y/n. She wasn’t sure if she cried more because of what he said or the situation. She curled up on the chair in the corner of the room, reading a book. Her friends looked at her sadly, they hated the fact that she had gone back to her reserved nature. 
Trevor on the other hand was acting like it wasn’t bothering him, he couldn’t hide himself from the media or anything really like she could. But, it was eating him alive. He didn’t know if she was okay or if something had happened or if she was ignoring him. He was too desperate to know if he was okay so he attempted to reach out to all three of her brothers but he got nothing back in return.
It wasn’t until Mason walked into his room with his phone in hand, “I called her friend for you.”
Trevor looked at him with wide eyes, “What?”
“Thank me later.”
Her friend had been walking up the stairs to their apartment when she got the call from Mason, they had met when y/n and Trevor took them along on a trip to ensure that no rumors would start. She had practically run the rest of the way and bolted into the apartment. She walked over to y/n and handed her the phone.
She reached out for it and held it up to her ear, “Hello?”
“Baby!” 
Her voice stuck in her throat along with the sob that had been forming for a while. “Trevor? Oh my god, are you alright?”
“I’m hanging in there. Are you okay?”
She paused, “No. No, I’m not okay.”
“You know what, I’m coming to London tonight. Just hold on until I get there.”
“Hurry please.”
And just as he promised, 8 hours later he was standing in her apartment, opening his arms for her. She ran into them once she heard him call out and buried her head into his chest. Trevor sunk to the floor with her, his back pressed up against the wall, “It’s okay. I’m here. I got you.”
He could feel her body racked with sobs and he couldn’t help but start crying himself. He had torn himself apart these past two weeks as he waited to hear from her and knowing how much she had been in pain had hurt him. He picked her up soon after and carried her to the bedroom, laying her down on the bed. He crawled in next to her and wrapped his arms around her once more.
“Have you heard from your brothers yet?”
“Not a word. Not that I have checked my phone since the article came out.”
He frowned at her, tightening his hold, “Sometimes I wonder if part of their acceptance is just to forget it ever happened in the first place.”
This made him laugh a little as he pulled back to look at her. He moved the piece of hair that had fallen in her face behind her ear. His face changed when he realized that her small smile had turned back into a frown, “I feel so lost. They used to adore me, used to protect me, but now. It feels like they just wish I never existed.”
“Hey, they still love you.” She just blinked at him, “I’m sure if you looked at your phone they would just be wondering if you were okay.”
“I liked your speech, it was very put together.”
He smiled at her, “It made me very proud to be your girlfriend.”
“Hey, I’m always proud to be your boyfriend.”
She giggled and kissed his cheek, “You know what I mean you dork.”
“Speaking of boyfriends and girlfriends. Did you know Mason and Lia were dating?”
She perked up, “No! When did that happen?”
“Apparently-”
“Hey.”
The two turned and looked at Lia, “What’s up?”
“Your brothers are here.”
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𝑴𝑰𝑺𝑪𝑬𝑳𝑳𝑨𝑵𝑬𝑶𝑼𝑺 𝑷𝑳𝑨𝒀𝑬𝑹 𝑻𝑨𝑮𝑳𝑰𝑺𝑻 ˏˋ°•*⁀➷
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mouse-of-dimitrescu · 5 months
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𝟷𝟸 𝙳𝙰𝚈𝚂 𝙾𝙵 𝚂𝙼𝚄𝚃𝚃𝙸𝙽𝙴𝚂𝚂 🎄 #𝟿 𝙻𝚊𝚛𝚒𝚜𝚜𝚊 𝚆𝚎𝚎𝚖𝚜 𝚇 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛
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Sway ( fluff, NSFW )
WARNINGS: shapeshifting d!ck, cute Larissa, restlessness. (I think that's it, tell me if I need to add more warnings )
:・゚✧:・゚✧:・゚✧:・゚✧
Christmas was Larissa's favourite time of the year. The beautiful lights and glorious decorations made her golden heart warm. She was one of those people who put Christmas decorations up as soon as the clock striked December, and stocked up on hot chocolate as soon as it turned a degree colder. You and Larissa had been married for three years and for every year end, you decorated your house together, putting up the tree and the shimmering lights. Afterwards, you would always treat yourselves to hit chocolate with extra marshmallows and your homemade chocolate chip cookies that Larissa adored.
Nevermore closed for the Christmas holidays, allowing Larissa to stay at home with you during that period. One thing about Larissa: she would always get restless during the holidays. She wasn't used to having so little to do and naturally, she tried to keep herself as busy as possible.
You returned home from grocery shopping one afternoon to find Larissa reorganising the kitchen. You placed the bags down and cleared your throat.
" Rissy, what are you doing?" You asked, making the poor woman jump slightly, not expecting your presence.
" Organising the kitchen...for the new year." Larissa stood up and placed her hand on her hip, trying to act as casual as possible. You sighed and looked to your wife.
" Bored?" You tried to hide your smile.
Larissa let out a groan. " I love being at home with you, don't get me wrong. But I just don't know what to do with myself. I try watch a movie on Netflix and then I zone out because I feel like I'm wasting my time. Then I try to do something creative, like making a necklace with the bead set, but I never finish it because I know I'll never wear that stupid necklace anyway." Larissa squeezed the bridge of her nose. " Sorry I'm rambling."
You walked up to Larissa and hugged her with understanding. " It must be difficult for you to change your schedule in favour of the holidays. And we have to stay indoors, it's cold out. Have you tried reading?"
Larissa nods. " Yes, dear. But I get distracted by the thought of what I could be doing." Larissa gave you a little squeeze and kissed your cheek. " Don't worry about me, darling. I'm sure I'll manage."
" Maybe we can pack these groceries away for a start and then see what we can do." You suggested. Larissa nodded and you both began packing the cupboards with the groceries you bought. You worked silently and peacefully, Larissa occasionally letting out a hum of approval when she liked something you bought. She obviously smiled when sje saw the bag of hot chocolate and she put it away neatly.
" Maybe this evening you can teach me how to make those chocolate chip cookies?" Larissa asked, seeing that you had bought more ingredients to do so.
" Sounds like a plan." You smiled. You felt Larissa wrap her arms around you from behind and place a light kiss on the back of your neck. She turned your body slightly and leant down to kiss your lips gently. You smiled and hugged her, eventually beginning to sway together.
" You are aware that there's no music playing?" She chuckled.
" Oh hush. I just want to be close to you." You laughed and looked up to Larissa. You planted a small kiss on her jawline and eventually rested your head on her shoulder as you swayed. She smiled at your actions and kissed the top of your head, leaning her chin gently upon it. She began humming a soft tune, shutting her eyes and finding comfort in home. With your arms wrapped snugly around her waist, your body pressed against hers and you both sought out the warmth in one another.
" Dear, you don't look warm enough. You should go and put on another jumper." Larissa said softly, rubbing your arms up and down with her hands.
" I'm fine—" You tried to shrug it off but by looking at Larissa, she pulled a stern expression. You rolled your eyes playfully. " Fine, fine." You put your hands up in a surrendering motion and went to your shared bedroom to shuffle through the wardrobe. You put on Larissa's grey fluffy jumper and hugged yourself. It smelt of her.
" That looks adorable on you, dear." Larissa walked into the bedroom and sat down on the edge of the bed, pulling you onto her lap.
" Why thank you. I love wearing your clothes." You smiled.
" They're not even your style." Larissa shook her head and looked at you with an amused grin.
" No, they're not. But I still like them. They're cozy. When you shop for clothes, you always know exactly what to buy." You kissed Larissa's cheek, adjusting yourself on her lap so you could wrap an arm around her neck.
" You're such a minx, you know that?" Larissa smiled and kissed your cheek, eventually smiling against it, beginning to laugh slightly.
You giggled at her laughter and tilted your head. " Why are you laughing?"
" You're just so sweet. I love you. I'm so glad I married you?" Larissa peppered kissed over your cheeks, causing you to giggle more.
" Aww, Rissy. I love you too." You hugged Larissa, straddling her lap to do so.
In an instant, Larissa had flipped you over and began tickling you, making you squeel and laugh. She knew how ticklish you were and she loved teasing you about it. You felt her cold fingertips inch under your jumper, your breath hitched and you carried on laughing. Larissa laughed too, coming down to kiss you. She caressed your body and you shivered slightly, feeling Larissa's hands beginning to warm under your skin.
" Cold, love?" Larissa smiled, lying next door to you and keeping her one hand under your jumper while the other hand played with your hair.
" Your hands are cold." You smiled.
" I can...warm you up?" Larissa hinted, smiling slightly down at you. You said nothing but grinned, pulling Larissa in for a kiss. " And I'll take that as a yes?" She laughed.
" Yes please." You giggled snd kissed Larissa's neck, feeling the soft, sensitive skin under your touch. Larissa's breath hitched at your actions, making you smile.
" Can I shift?" She asked, causing you to grow even more aroused. You nodded quickly, kissing Larissa again. As she shifted, she groaned into our mouth and you looked down to see the bulge in her pants. You bit your lip and looked at your wife — you were both breathing heavily from the kiss and she nodded in your direction.
At that nod, you quickly slipped your hand under the waistband of her pants, feeling her cock straining in her knickers. You experimentally ran a finger over it, causing Larissa to gasp.
" Please ride me, darling." Larissa whispered.
You smiled, slipping both her pants and her knickers off, throwing them to the side. Larissa couldn't wait — her hand had already found her cock as she gently stroked it, causing her breathing to become heavier and precum to leak off the tip. You looked over at her and leant down to kiss the tip of her cock, licking the precum off and tasting her.
" Darling, please. Please." Larissa reached over to you and began tugging at your clothes, attempting to assist you in getting them off. You happily stripped for your wife, planting a small kiss on her cheek before straddling her.
You felt Larissa reach down and gently rub the tip of her cock through your folds, occasionally grazing against your sensitive clit, causing your hips to move slightly. You eventually sunk down, feeling Larissa's warm cock enter you and stretch apart your walls.
" Oh....Larissa..." You shut your eyes and moaned as she entered you fully. You stayed still for a few moments, breathing heavily before looking at Larissa. She reached over and caressed your waist, trailing her hands up to your boobs as she fingered your nipples. That only made you wetter and you bit your lip.
" I'm going to move." You breathed out, holding onto Larissa's arms to steady yourself as you ricned your hips slowly back and forth. Larissa's cock throbbed inside you at your actions, tapping and moving against your walls.
" Oh, fuck..." Larissa shut her eyes and laid her head back. You moaned and clasped onto Larissa's arms. Larissa moved her hands to your hips as you began to bounce on her cock. She helped steady you as you did so.
" You're so...tight." Larissa moaned loudly, digging her nails into your sides as you moved on top of her.
Your wife began to thrust her hips up, aiding your movements. You moaned as she hit your g-spot, making your walls tighten around her momentarily, making Larissa moan too. Both of your movements began to get more urgent as you felt Larissa thrust deeper into you.
" Rissy! Oh!" You moaned when you felt Larissa's hips rise again, slamming into you as you both increased your paces, syncing with each other. A small amount of sweat covered your bodies as you both tried to reach your climax.
With each thrust and bounced Larissa's cock pulsated against that sweet spot inside of you, you felt your walls tighten around her again and your breathing became even more rapid and uneven. Moans filled the room along with the musky scent of sex and the fusion of your perfumes.
" Are you going to cum for me?" Larissa asked, letting out a groan as she entered you again.
" Yes! Fuck!" You cried out.
" Can I come inside you?" Larissa asked, trying to conceal the desperation in her tone.
" Yes! Please... Rissy!" You begged as you felt yourself nearing your orgasm.
As you climaxed against Larissa's cock, she came too, filling you up with her white seed. Both of your bodies shuddered as you moaned each others' names. The sensation of Larissa cumming inside of you sent waves of pleasure coursing through your shaking body. Larissa and you helped each other ride out your orgasms as you slowed down your paces, breathing heavily and grasping onto each other.
Larissa gently lifted your body up, slowly pulling out if you. The mixture of you cum and hers trailed down your thighs and she chuckled. Your wife lifted you up, shifting her cock back into her pussy as she took you to the bathroom. She cleaned both you and herself up and you smiled.
" We need to do that again sometime." You laughed, grabbing two face cloths, running them under the two and handing one to Larissa. You both wiped the sweat off your faces and she smiled back.
" I agree ." She pecked your cheek and pulled you in for a kiss. " I love you, my dear." She whispered against your lips.
" I love you too, Rissy." You whispered back. " Let's shower quickly and get started on those chocolate chip cookies." You winked, making Larissa chuckle.
You and Larissa stood in the shower, the water poured over you as you spoke and laughed together. It was the little things. Those little moments that made you whole. You weren't alone cut into obscure fragments — you belonged and so did Larissa. Larissa was there. And she was beautiful. And you loved her so fucking much it seemed almost impossible not to smile in her presence. In this limited segment of eternity, you felt sempiternal.
You and Larissa changed quickly into your pajamas. Your wife urged you to use the hair dryer that evening because it was cold and she didn't want you to get sick. Your heart melted at her concern but you hated the hair dryer. It was loud.
" Rissy, I won't get sick." You scoffed and eventually gave in, grabbing the hair dryer.
" You might. And no one wants to blow their nose on Christmas. Especially not in this house." Larissa kissed your cheek and began to run a brush through your hair. You blushed and smiled, feeling her soft fingertips run through it too.
" Thank you." You whispered, Larissa smiled at you, making eye contact with you in the looking glass.
She kissed your cheek and you turned to her, giving her a soft kiss on her lips and a little peck on the tip of her nose, making her scrunch her nose and smile. Larissa dried her hair too and you both eventually went downstairs, checking the pantry. You got the ingredients out to make the chocolate chip cookies and Larissa out on some music. The Fleet Foxes began playing in the backround as you baked together.
" Where are the instructions?" Larissa asked, rummaging through recipe books and papers on the kitchen counter.
" In my head." You smiled.
Larissa raised her eyebrow. " How can you cope? Oh dear, well, tell me what to do." Larissa packed the books away. You laughed at her concern for not having a set recipe and instructions to abide by. Larissa gave you a faux annoyed glance before cracking up too.
" I'm the principal for a reason, darling." She said through laughter, kissing your cheek.
You lead Larissa through the process and you baked the cookies. Once the cookies were finally in the oven, you and your wife took a step back. You began making hot chocolate for the both of you as you waited for the cookies.
" We can't have cookies for dinner, dear." Larissa said, leaning against the counter.
" Says who?" You smiled and added extra marshmallows to Larissa's hot chocolate. She happily took her cup and sipped from it.
" I do. Now, are we going to make dinner or are we just going to order something?" She asked.
You thought for a moment. " Pizza sounds lovely. What do you say?"
Larissa chuckled. " Of course, you know which toppings I want."
You got out your phone and placed an order for two large pizzas.
The pizzas soon arrived just as you and Larissa finished off your second cups of hot chocolate. You brought the pizza inside and placed it on the counter.
" Two large pizzas?" Larissa walked over to you and took a box.
" I'm hungry, I don't know about you. But if you can't finish it, you can save it for later." You smiled and opened your pizza box.
" No, I'm eating it." Larissa chuckled and took out a slice of pizza, beginning to eat it.
You ate your pizzas at the kitchen table, almost forgetting to check on the cookies which were baking well in the oven. After a few monents of checking on them, you smiled.
" I think they're ready." You got oven mits, removing the tray from the oven and placing the cookies on a plate to cool down. Larissa immediately got up and stood right next to you, savouring the smell of them.
" Maybe I should make another load of them. These will probably be finished in three days by the looks of things." You chuckled. Larissa playfully slapped your arm and you both giggled.
" Most likely." Larissa kissed your head.
:・゚✧:・゚✧:・゚✧:・゚✧
𝙸 𝚌𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚍 𝚠𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜.
@littledollll @winterfireblond @blood-red-ocean @ness029 @aemilia19
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reiding-writing · 5 months
Text
macarons and misunderstandings [ s.r ]
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Summary:
You coax Spencer into joining you in a bakery café that your friend recommended you to visit whilst on a case in NYC, and although it starts as two friends getting lunch together, it doesn’t end that way.
WARNINGS: minor swearing, wholesome miscommunication
pairing: spencer reid x gn!reader
genre: fluff, just the most sickeningly sweet wholesome fluff
wc: 3.4k
masterlist!!
a/n: rest assured, i will be returning to my comfort zone of hurt/comfort for my next fic bc i cannot write wholesome stuff for the life of me 😭
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“Alright, take a break everyone, we’ll pick this back up after everyone’s had the chance to eat,” Hotch’s voice rings across the NYPD conference room alongside the closing of the file he was reading from, and he tucks the manilla folder under his arm as he stands. “I want you all back here by 1:30,”
There’s a small chain of nods and ‘yes sir’s before the team is rising from the table and grabbing their belongings to vacate the police station to go and get some lunch, and you manage to catch Spencer right before he leaves. “Hey Spence-”
“Hm? Yeah?” He does a full U-turn with his body, almost walking straight into you in the process if not for his hand still holding the door open to give him a point of balance, and you have to stifle a small smile that tries to break its way onto your face.
“You got any plans for lunch or can I effectively kidnap you for an hour?”
Spencer gives you slightly furrowed expression although doesn’t seem opposed to the idea. “I’m not sure that was the best way to word that but no I haven’t,”
“Yeah probably not-“ You let out a small breath that could almost constitute as a laugh. "Anyway, apparently there’s a really good french bakery like two blocks away from here, we should go check it out before Hotch changes his mind and decides we’re confined to the station,”
“Right… yeah uh-.” Spencer laughed softly, encouraging you out of the door ahead of him before following behind you. “A bakery sounds really nice actually,”
"My friend told me about it when she was down here for fashion week, she said it has some of the best pastries she’s ever tried," You emphasise the word ‘best’ with your hands, and Spencer’s eyes followed them as he got caught up in your enthusiasm.
One of your favourite things about your oddly-developed friendship with Spencer was that you could do things like take a trip to a bakery together without a single hint of awkwardness.
Long since had the silences between you held any unfamiliar tension or apprehension when it came to getting to know each other those five years ago.
It was comfortable. Secure. And you weren’t entirely sure it was just a ‘friendship’.
“Did she happen to mention what type of pastries they have?” Spencer asked you, his eyebrows raised with genuine curiosity.
"She specifically mentioned the almond croissants, although i’m also eager to try their lemon crêpes because they sound absolutely amazing," You continue to exaggerate what you’re saying with your hands as you push open the door of the Police Station, exiting into the cool autumnal breeze of the New York City streets.
Spencer followed closely behind you, nodding along to what you were saying as he placed his hands the pockets of his tattered trench coat. Although, he wasn’t entirely listening to the words leaving your mouth, too focused on how the autumn breeze blew your hair softly and how the partially concealed rays of sun made your eyes look like they they held all of the stars in the milky way.
"Ooh, and macarons-" You turn towards Spencer as your excitement about what pastries to get overtakes any lingering thoughts of the case you’re working on, gripping onto his sleeve with your left hand.
You were excited about the pastries; He was excited about the warmth of your hand through his sleeve.
“Macarons do sound good. You know what would go really well with them?” Spencer looked at you as he spoke, smiling like you’d ripped the sun from the sky and given it to him as a present. “Hot chocolate.”
"Oh you are so right-" You give an immediate sharp nod at Spencer’s suggestion, sliding down his arm to rest on the inside of his elbow, fingers pressed gently into the slight curve created from where his hands rested inside his pockets.
To the unassuming eye, the two of you most probably looked like a couple out on a date, your arms linked and Spencer looking at you like you were the only person in existence.
Spencer was very aware that the way you touched him made it look like you were in a relationship.
And it made him feel a little giddy.
He had to force himself back to reality. He wasn’t in a relationship with you. All he was doing was going out with you as a friend to grab some pastries for lunch. That’s it.
"Okay so we have definite yeses to macarons and hot chocolate, I feel like we’ve gotta get at least one almond croissant considering how much my friend was raving about them, anything else?"
“I don’t think I’ve ever had a crêpe before. Maybe we should try one of those?”
Spencer had a sudden urge to kiss you, and he didn’t really know why. Maybe it was gentle heat of your fingers against his arm. Maybe it was the light pink flush on your cheeks from the cold breeze. Maybe it was the fact that he’d been subconsciously pining after you for years to the point where he could barely think of anything else.
"Yes. Definitely. 100%." You give the inside of his elbow a small squeeze at the prospect of introducing him to the delicacy that is french crêpes. "I cannot let you live a life without crêpes in it."
Spencer nodded along arbitrarily, not listening to a single word that you just said as he internally imagined how it would feel to have your hands in his hair and your lips on his skin.
Why wasn’t he in a relationship with you? You were just… perfect, and he was really into you.
He felt like there had to be a reason why you weren’t together, but that train of thought made Spencer fluster to the point he was afraid you’d be able to see it if he thought about it any longer.
"Aha," You make an exclamation of victory as the bakery comes into view, pushing the door open with a soft bell chime and tugging Spencer inside with you with a gentle but excited insistence.
The bakery looked amazing, although much closer to a café. It had a small quaint European feel to it despite it being on a main Street in New York City, and surprisingly, it wasn’t that busy either. It was the exact type of bakery that Spencer had hoped it would be.
You scour the chalkboard menu for a second to make sure they actually had everything you wanted before going up to order, and Spencer noticed as your hand slid downwards to the inside of his wrist so that you could lean forward to see the chalk whilst still keeping yourself anchored to him.
He was definitely blushing now, his heart taunting him as it pounded against his chest.
Spencer wanted to ask you to kiss him, or at least hold his hand, but the thought of bringing attention to the unspoken connection the two of you had may ruin it stopped him from saying anything, not wanting to risk losing what he currently had in the very minor instance of gaining something more.
"You’re alright with sharing a croissant and a crêpe right? I figure it might be too much otherwise-"
Spencer nodded with a smile. “I don’t mind sharing a croissant and a crêpe with you.”
You give him a beamed smile and a nod as you leave his side to go and order, shutting down his offer to pay before he could even suggest it.
He subconsciously ran his fingers over his wrist as he waited for you, trying to compensate from the loss of your touch and the gentle warmth that accompanied it as he watched you engage in polite small talk with the cashier.
You looked so sweet. So perfect.
"let’s sit outside yeah? it’s a nice day," You retreat back towards him with a tray balanced in your hands, two mugs of hot chocolate joined with four coloured macarons and a single croissant and crêpe, carefully distributed to balance the weight as you carry it.
“Yeah, that sounds good,” Spencer nods at you softly, a wistful expression still on his face as he takes you by the elbow in order to help you carry the tray safely.
The reinstating of your previous contact brought a small flush back over his cheeks, and even through his hands were only brushing against the fabric of your shirt, it still felt oddly intimate.
The two of you walk over to a vacant table, set under a large parasol that casted the table in a comfortable shade.
Spencer took a seat across from you as you both sat down, separated by a small table in between the two of you.
Funny how a little table could do that.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
"Oh my god we are definitely coming back here next time we have a case down here-" You give a satisfied sigh as you wipe your fingers on a serviette, placing it inside your empty mug and pulling out your phone to check the time.
1:17.
You should get back to the station.
The thought of having to go back dampened your mood a little, and not just because it meant you now had to spend the rest of the day bent over a desk to curate a profile.
You really enjoyed spending time with Spencer like this, whether it be accompanying him to a new museum exhibit or driving him to buy his groceries so he wouldn’t have to sit behind the wheel.
It was a small highlight of your time not spent working, and you always found yourself disheartened when it was time to leave.
“We should definitely come back.” Spencer looked at you as he spoke, catching the mild change in your expression. “Are you okay?”
“Hm? Yeah- yeah i’m good,” You give him a nod and a reassuring smile as you stand from you seat with him following not long after you. “Just not exactly looking forward to going back to work,”
“Yeah I understand what you mean,” Spencer gives a small laugh, stuffing his hands back into his pockets again.
"We should do this more often you know,” You tilt your head slightly at him, the words leaving your mouth without any thought behind them. "I uh- enjoy spending time with you like this,"
“I enjoy spending time with you too,” Spencer smiled gently.
He looked at you, feeling a slight bit of courage at your confession of enjoying spending time with him one on one.
Come on Spencer, just ask them out already.
"I’m glad," You give Spencer a half-laugh, turning away from him slightly to hide the flushed nature of your cheeks from your embarrassment.
Spencer’s eyes studied you, and he felt like now might be the time. You two were still technically off work, you loved spending time together, and you’d just spent the last half an hour listening to him rant about the new book he was reading whilst the two of you drank hot chocolate and shared french pastries with each other.
You weren’t just friends. You were more than that.
At least he hoped so.
“Can I take you out… on a date?” Spencer’s voice was soft, but it carried confidence.
"A- date?" You stop walking in the middle of the street, your body re-directing any cognitive functioning to focus on computing Spencer’s question.
Spencer stopped as you did, eyes entirely trained on your expression. He couldn’t help but look at how beautiful you were right now. Your face painted with a blush and a mild look of confusion characterised through the slight furrow in your eyebrows.
“Y- yeah… do you want to go on a date with me?”
Of course it was okay if you didn’t. It wouldn’t hurt Spencer. He’d handle the rejection. Right?
"I- Yeah-" You nod quickly, a little too enthusiastically if you were to think about it logically. “Yes,”
"I’d love to go on a date with you-" You’re words are rushed and slightly muddled together as you hastily agree to his proposition, but they get the point across.
Spencer’s face lit up with a blush as you said yes.
That’s wonderful news.
A small grin spread across his face. “I’m glad…” The words slipped out without Spencer realising it, joined by a notable fluster.
He was glad.
He was absolutely thrilled about the fact you want to go on a date with him.
Spencer was so incredibly grateful that you said yes.
“Wouldn’t- I mean- We just like went out together and got food and talked and stuff- was that… a date?-“ You gesture your hand back to the bakery café the two of you had just left.
You weren’t exactly wrong, and he understood your confusion.
“I suppose it follows the motions of a date,” Spencer looked at you, overtaken by how perfectly ethereal you looked with the breeze fluttering against your shirt and a blush covering your cheeks.
“But an actual date would be much more romantic.” His words were confident, even if he was embarrassed that he was admitting to you just how much of a romantic he was underneath his façade of being uninterested in finding someone.
"So it wasn’t a date?” You raise an eyebrow slightly, fiddling with your sleeves. “Because I want to kiss you but if it wasn’t a date then I can’t because you can’t kiss someone without going on a date with them first because it breaks date etiquette-”
Spencer’s eyes widened as he listened to you ramble without taking a single breath. You wanted to kiss him?
You wanted to kiss him.
You wanted to kiss him.
Spencer was trying to keep his emotions in check as he stared at you. Your words made him tingle with excitement. “Um… you can- still kiss me if you want…?”
You shake your head with determination. “You can’t kiss someone before you’ve been on a date with them,”
Spencer looked so utterly confused.
So, you didn’t want to kiss him?
He wanted to kiss you.
“Why not? Your logic makes no sense. Why can’t kiss me?” Spencer was so utterly confused, his eyebrows knitted in a way that made you want to plant your lips between them as he tried to understand what your issue was.
"My logic makes complete sense-" You cross your arms over your chest as you gesture for the two of you to keep walking with a nod of your head.
"Everybody knows that you never kiss somebody until the end of the first date, it curses your whole future relationship otherwise,"
Spencer couldn’t help but stare at you blankly.
What he heard you say was wrong. Really wrong.
You should kiss someone whenever you want to kiss someone. Especially if they’re your crush.
But you were adamant you couldn’t kiss Spencer because of this stupid arbitrary rule.
"Well, if you’d have agreed to my judgement that our bakery stop was a date then you’d be getting a kiss," You shrug your shoulders nonchalantly, lips pressed into a straight line. "But you don’t, therefore I can’t kiss you,"
Spencer stared at you in disbelief as you spoke, before his eyes widened.
He knew what you wanted to hear, and so he gave in.
It was the only way he’d get a kiss.
“Okay okay- It was a date at the bakery I was wrong-”
He hated how desperate he sounded, but you were so beautiful, you were stunning, you were the most gorgeous person he ever met.
Spencer wanted to be with you. And you were giving him an in to finally press his lips against your perfect face.
"Are you sure?" You furrow your eyebrows at him in mock accusation, agains stopping in your tracks to stand in front of him with your eyes fixed on his face.
Spencer sighed. “I… yes. It was a date. I was just being silly…” Spencer took your hand for a moment as he spoke to you, interlacing his fingers in yours and feeling the warmth of your hands against his frigidly cold ones.
He wanted you to know that he felt a lot differently towards you compared to how he’d felt about anyone else.
You were special.
And he wanted you.
"Right you are pretty boy," You give his hand a small squeeze as you use your other to cup his face, pulling it towards you with a gentle insistence so that you could press a chaste kiss to those perfect pink lips that had just been begging you to silence them. "You were being silly,"
Spencer’s face lit up with another blush as you called him pretty boy.
Of course you thought Spencer was pretty. Not handsome or beautiful.
Pretty.
He let himself be pulled in closer as you spoke to him teasingly, telling him that he was being silly.
And then… your lips. Pressed against his with a soft pressure that he gladly returned.
That was all it took for Spencer to feel like the luckiest man on earth.
"Here’s to a successful first date," You chuckle softly as your lips part, your noses brushing as you lean back to admire the rosy tint to his cheeks and the beaming smile that accompanied it.
Spencer felt so happy. So overwhelmingly, sickeningly happy.
And so, he did a thing that he never thought he had the courage to do. He pulled you into his arms, leaning in to kiss you with so much fervour that you were relying on the strength of his hands on your waist for stability.
Spencer didn’t know when he’d get the opportunity to do this again. So he was 100% going to make the most of it.
You can’t help the smile that erupts on your face as he pulls you in again, your hands cradling his cheeks and your head tilted ever so slightly to the left as you rested your weight into his hands.
If you’d recorded this moment and told him it was a scene from a cheesy romance movie he would’ve believed you.
As the two of you reluctantly pull away due to the unfortunate human necessity of breathing, you catch a glance at the watch face on the inside of your wrist.
1:29.
“Shit- We really need to get back to the station.” Your hands fall from his face to grab one of his own, pulling him down the streets as you hurry back to the police station, mildly out of breath and still completely flustered.
“So-“ Spencer pulled a small resistance against your hands as the two of you stopped outside of the door.
“We’re going on a second date once we get home right?”
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inuyashaluver · 2 months
Note
happy new year angel!!!!! im sure u have heaps of request so no pressure this idea just popped into my head for niamhy (need more fics for her)!!!
so reader and niamh are lionesses but they aren’t v close/don’t interact because they both have crushes on each other but reader gets too shy/awkward about it so niamh thinks reader doesnt like her. but everyone notices the pining and awkward moments between them. anyway readers been playing in spain for their club team but isnt being treated well and gets an offer from chelsea which is perfect because its back home and an amazing team. the only thing reader is nervous about is being around niamh 24/7 and niamh is nervous about the same thing. anyway reader joins and quickly takes notice of how close niamh and jessie are and gets in her head about thinking of course niamh is taken, she’s so great. reader isnt jealous per say but definitely sad n insecure about it and then idk something happens, there’s some angst, niamh makes a move, they kiss, everyones happy!!!
misunderstanding - niamh charles
niamh charles x reader
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description: in which you and your long time crush have a huge misunderstanding, maybe it was just what you needed?
warnings: swearing, a little angsty but not much, suggestive, a little long!
a/n: ITS NIAMHY BABY!! happy new year, my love! you’re so right, we need more niamh content! please enjoy and thank you for the request!! ❤️ i really don’t know how to feel about this one, i can’t think about it too much 😭
⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆
you and niamh had a very..complicated relationship to say the least. you weren’t really sure where you stood with each other. you’d grown up together, working up the ranks in the lioness youth teams together as teammates, nothing else. but both of you wanted something more that the other had no idea about.
in your case, you had a form of infatuation for a certain brunette that you couldn’t even admit to yourself. you were pretty shy, finding comfort in familiarity where you wouldn’t step outside your comfort zone. the thought of you liking your teammate had you panicking.
your best friends ella and alessia had an inkling about your little crush, the way your eyes would linger on niamh at any point through the day, the way you would tense up and avoid eye contact as niamh would talk to the three of you were all telltale points that you were crushing. hard.
for niamh, she always found you earth shatteringly beautiful, not only physically but as a person. the way you carried yourself, the way you were so calm and collected, and how you were so kind, it made her heart flutter.
to say she had a little crush on you was an understatement, she tried everything she could to get you to even look her in the eye but you never would.
niamh was pretty sure you didn’t like her, you’d always go awkward, quiet when she approached you. that’s why it made things so hard for her, she desperately wanted you to like her back.
she never knew of the internal battle with yourself, how you were working up the courage just to have a full conversation with niamh but you could never get past the small talk.
“hey, (y/n)” niamh smiles as you walk into the change room, your eyes widen a little, swallowing the lump in your throat before you mutter up a small smile in return, feeling your cheeks burning.
“hi, niamh, you alright?” you breathe out, quickly walking to your cubby and busying yourself with changing. “yeah, i’m good, how are you?” niamh grins, happy you’re even talking with her. “fine” you smile a little dismissively, tugging on your training kit.
niamh’s eyebrows furrowed a little, looking at lotte next to her who just shrugged her shoulders, a little hint of a smile evident on lotte’s face as she watched you fan yourself to calm down your flustered face. looks like someone else knew about your crush.
when alessia came in shortly after, she gave a hearty laugh to a bashful, 16 year old you sitting in your cubby clearly panicking. niamh watched as alessia approached you, unable to hear your conversation.
“what did niamh do?” alessia teased with a whisper, “stop it, lessi” you whisper shout back, praying your cheeks weren’t flamed right now.
“so shy” alessia teased, you cover your face with your hands, recounting the tiny interaction with niamh and internally cursing yourself for not talking to her more.
“do you think i’m being obvious?” you whisper, alessia gives you a sympathetic smile, “painfully” you sigh loudly, covering your face with your hands while alessia assured you everything was okay.
niamh feels a little weird seeing the interaction, a funny feeling bubbling in her stomach as she watches you eventually smile when alessia makes you giggle at a joke. she wishes it could’ve been her in the situation, the one making you giggle.
it really only got worse from there, the more your affection for niamh grew the more it became obvious to anyone around you.
niamh didn’t notice it however, you weren’t outwardly flirting or anything, but she did take note of how she would catch your eye staring at her occasionally.
a little smirk would play at her lips at the thought of you liking her back. until you’d converse, and it would throw her for a loop again thinking you didn’t like her.
“so, (y/n), I heard you got a contract lined up in spain, that’s amazing, congratulations!” niamh smiles proudly, making an effort to sit in the empty chair next to you at the hotel breakfast before your boarded the bus for the under 20 team.
“yeah, um, i got a bit sick of the cold i guess” you joke, taking a little sip of water to ease your nerves, niamh smiles amusingly, you weren’t really one to joke with her.
“hm, pretty good idea, maybe i should play in spain, i’m made for the sun” niamh teases, you choke on your water slightly, coughing while niamh gently pat your back.
“shit, you okay?” niamh’s eyes widen, you nod vigorously, recovering with a sheepish expression plastered on your features.
ella and alessia burst out into laughter when you sat there insisting you were fine to niamh, muttering something about needing to change.
“don’t laugh at her, she just choked” niamh scolds as she watches you walk hurriedly out of the room, “oh, niamhy, that’s not what we’re laughing about” ella giggles, winking at niamh and promptly confusing her.
niamh signed a contract to chelsea and was truly flourishing, getting played and getting along with her teammates, it was what she wanted.
you on the other hand, were struggling.
it was hard being so far from home, you barely got any play time, but when you did, you played exceptionally and everyone said so. that’s why it was so confusing when you only got played occasionally.
your teammates didn’t really hang out with you outside of training because you didn’t speak spanish very well.
niamh kept tabs on you, she was concerned you weren’t getting played, how you barely posted on social media anymore.
it truly upset her, so much so she would frequently call ella and alessia just to see if you were alright but even they couldn’t get anything out of you.
you felt alone, trapped almost, so when the contract to chelsea arrived in 2021, you accepted without a second thought. being closer to home, family, friends, it’s all you wanted at that point.
when the news came of your transfer, excitement overtook niamh, she was ecstatic knowing she’d be able to be around you, rather than just nationally.
you were slightly terrified at the thought of being around niamh all the time, scared of how obvious you could be.
“hello, stranger!” an excited millie exclaims as you get out of your car, “hi, millie” you smile brightly, letting her hoist you up in a big hug, laughing as she swings you around.
“we’ve missed you, welcome home” she pats the top of your head, slinging an arm over your shoulder and showing you around.
“i’ve missed you too” you smile, getting introduced to a couple of girls in the change room until millie dragged you to the gym.
that’s when you see her, niamh talking to jessie in the corner of the room, looking as beautiful as ever. niamh and you obviously saw each other on national duty but after all that time of not seeing her, you fell in love all over again.
your heart panged a little when you saw jessie’s hand lingering on her arm but you dismissed it when millie called out to niamh. she turns and visibly brightens when she sees you.
“(y/n/n)!” niamh cheers, bolting over to you and pulling you into a tight embrace. one of her hands on your back while the other cradles you head.
“you’re home” she breathes out relieved, you’ve never hugged niamh for more than a second, it shocked you at how quick you melted into her embrace, finally getting that feeling of home you’ve been craving.
your own arms wound around her back while she held you close. “hi, niamhy” you breathe out with a little laugh, her heart fluttered at the nickname, sure she gets called that by everyone but you’re not everyone. you’re you, niamh’s.
she gave you one last squeeze before she pulled away, smiling at you shyly with pink cheeks as you made eye contact.
“i’ve been worried about you,” niamh squeezes your bicep gently as you looked up at her, relishing in the fact that you’re making eye contact. “i missed you, you know?” she grins,
your cheeks burn at that, the thought of niamh thinking about you, “me too” you say sheepishly. “if you ever want to talk about anything, ever, i’m here for you” niamh says earnestly,
your eyes grow a little watery, “thank you” you smile, unable to stop yourself from pulling her into another little hug, surprised by your own confidence.
niamh smiles in your embrace, moving back to look at you properly. you were as beautiful as ever, seemingly getting more gorgeous by the second.
“welcome home” she grins, pinching your cheek softly and squeezing your cheek teasingly, feeling accomplished when it spurred a little giggle from your lips.
jessie smiled as she watched the interaction, knowing all about niamh’s feelings towards you after her drunken confessions one too many times at a team bonding session.
“your girls finally here” jessie teases, niamh looks at you with a smile, watching as you talk to the new teammates around you. you seemed lighter, almost softer at this time, still shy but somewhat more confident.
“yeah, she is” niamh nods, turning back to jessie and immediately slapping her arm when she sees the teasing smile she was giving her.
you feel better about everything, getting along with everyone, playing better than ever that emma even complimented you on it, you were relieved. but the one person you wanted to impress was niamh, and impressed she was.
“god, i told you i needed to go to spain, superstar! i can’t keep up with you!” niamh laughs as she marks you, you laugh brightly,
“you were never one for the cold, were you niamhy?” you tease.
as the weeks went by, you and niamh got closer, you were able to talk to her without feeling like you needed back up.
“good morning, beautiful” niamh grins when you walk into training, “morning, charlesy” you giggle, moving to talk with her and jessie before the session started.
niamh was so excited about your blossoming relationship, flirting a little openly to test the waters and pleasantly surprised you would return in occasionally before catching yourself.
you got to training one day and again, like usual saw jessie and niamh, laughing loudly and joking around with each other in the change rooms. something about it had you feeling a little weird.
you liked jessie, a lot, she was one of the people that made you feel most comfortable, and of course you liked niamh, you liked them both, so why did it break your heart seeing them together?
jessie on the other hand had been giving you obvious signs that her and niamh were strictly platonic but you got in your head.
you couldn’t help but pull away from niamh, finding other people to talk with, to train with, niamh felt like you were both at square one. 16 year olds in love without knowing it of course, avoiding each other in fear of rejection.
when niamh noticed you pulling away from her again, it scared her. you were finally opening up, talking about spain and more, and now you just said hello to her.
she wracked her brain and truly couldn’t figure out why you didn’t want anything to do with her.
you felt awful about yourself, of course niamh had someone love and of course it wasn’t you. jessie was perfect and you understood that. you felt that the more you talked to niamh, the worse you felt, feeling like you were betraying jessie.
all you could think in the best case scenario was, why would niamh want anything to do with you? unaware of how much niamh truly loved you.
your eyes would linger on the two of them interacting, a clear hint of jealousy and disappointment written all over your face.
“hey, do you wanna train together?” niamh walks up to you sitting in your cubby, lacing up your boots. you pause and look up at her,
“shouldn’t you be training with jessie?” you question, almost like it’s obvious. niamh’s eyebrows furrow a little, “what do you mean?” niamh laughs a little.
you huff out a breath, finishing up with your boots and moving past her, “go with jessie, i’ll train with jess today” you dismiss, niamh got really confused there, watching as you walked away from her. she needed to pull out the big guns.
“hey, less” niamh breathed out on the phone, “niamhy! long time no talk since your little lovebird turned blue” alessia teased, niamh shakes her head with a sigh, she wasn’t lying.
“yeah yeah, that’s who i’m calling about” niamh admits, fiddling with the ends of her hoodie as alessia giggled on the phone.
“i thought so, what’s up?” alessia smiled, feeling like she was about to be asked for relationship advice with you. “okay, well, we’ve been talking more, she’s finally looking me in the eye but she just stopped and started pulling away from me again.” niamh rambles, alessia thinks and hums for a second,
“hm, that’s weird, something must be going on with her” alessia admits, they continue talking and rule out that niamh needed to confront you about it. and so, the next day, niamh made her move.
“hey, can i talk to you for a minute?” niamh knocks on your car window, you’d just pulled up to the training grounds.
you nod at her confused, unlocking the door and letting her slip in the passenger seat as you both sat in an awkward silence.
“so” you breathe out, “so” niamh parrots, clearing her throat and moving to face you. “are you okay?” niamh says simply, you look up at her, angling your body so you could face her,
“i’m fine, why?” you cock your head, niamh shakes her own, “no, (y/n), you’re not okay” niamh sighs frustratingly, “niamhy-” you start,
“no, you’re not okay, you’re pulling away” niamh argues, your eyes widen a little at the volume. “pulling away from what?” you scoff, “from me!” she exclaims, running a hand over her face.
“niamh, i’m not trying to pull away from you” you sigh, niamh looks over at you with a quirked brow, “it’s just” you choke out, “i don’t want to cross any lines with you” you shrug, niamh looks perplexed in that moment, “what do you mean?”
“niamh, you have a girlfriend, i don’t want to cross a boundary with you and fuck up your relationship” you mutter,
niamh’s eyes widen, stuttering while trying to conjure up an answer, “(y/n), i do not have a girlfriend” niamh asserts, watching as your face goes a little relieved.
“but jessie-” you start, niamh is quick to cut you off, “jessie fleming is my best friend and most definitely not my girlfriend” she looks you right in the eye, you go a little red under her gaze.
“what, you were scared i was taken? something you’re not telling me?” niamh teases, you roll your eyes fondly, smiling at the brunette in front of you.
“hm, i don’t know, charles, what do you think?” mocking her tone, she smiles at that, moving her body over a little more so she could really face you.
“sounds like you like me?” she grins, you shrug with a little smile, “and if i did?” you tease, niamh chuckles amusingly, looking down at your lips quickly before looking back in your eyes.
“well, i’d like to do something about it” she grins, “i’m not opposed” you tease, “what happened to my shy girl, huh?” niamh whispers, getting closer to you over the centre console.
“spain” you shrug, niamh chuckles at that, her hand moving to cradle your cheek. “gonna kiss me, charles?” you smirk, niamh shakes her head amusingly, loving how forward you were being.
you were honestly bubbling with anxiety, but in a good way. niamh grins before moving forward to pull you into a breathless kiss.
when she pulled away, you can’t help but go a little pink, “there she is, my shy girl” niamh teases, kissing you fondly a couple of times, making your head foggy and somehow ending up straddling her lap in the passenger seat of the car.
“i love you” you whisper softly, kissing niamh quickly before pulling away to look at her, drinking in her pink cheeks and blown out pupils, almost looking in a mirror to you.
“i love you” niamh says without missing a beat, smiling at you sweetly before breaking out into little fits of giggles.
you stayed in that position for a while, laughing and recounting all the points where your were flirting without realising, all the obvious moments you were in love.
you and niamh had been dating from that day till now, about two years of absolute bliss for the two of you.
you moved in together and when everyone found out the two of you were dating, no one would shut up about how it was a long time coming.
you were both on camp for the lionesses and when you and niamh walked hand in hand and cheesy grinned, the teasing doubled.
sure everyone knew you were together, witnessing the whole relationship but that didn’t mean they wouldn’t tease the two of you as much as they could.
“i feel bad for who has the room next to theirs” millie teases at breakfast, you instantly groan, moving closer to niamh while the team whistled and giggled at how red you got. “fuck yeah, get it niamhy” ella laughs
you hide your face in niamh’s chest as she tucks you into her side, “fuck off” niamh chuckles, her arm grabbing your legs and draping them over her thighs.
“you are quite loud, baby” niamh whispers in your ear, your eyes widen and you slap her on the chest, “says you!” you scoff, taking your legs off hers and crossing your arms over your chest.
“babe, come on” she pleads with a smile, “don’t be grumpy” she chuckles, kissing your cheek, dragging you closer.
“stop it, niamh” you grumble, “oo, you got first named” alessia teased, ella instantly laughs and joins in on the teasing, niamh flips them both off and they attempt to contain their giggles.
“baby girl” niamh kisses you cheek again, lifting you from your seat, causing you to yelp when she perches you up on her lap.
“don’t be mad, gorgeous, i love how loud you are” she whispers in your ear again, “you’re one to talk” you whisper back, niamh nods sympathetically, “i know, baby” she pouts, you laugh a little in her embrace.
“you’re cheeky” you sigh, niamh smiles brightly at you, kissing the underside of your jaw, giggling a little when you squirm.
“only for you” she whispers, playfully nipping your jaw as you melted into her on instinct. niamh moves to kiss your cheek repeatedly, making you giggle, your hand moving to cradle her cheek. she chuckles against your skin, you had each other wrapped around your fingers.
“i rest my case” millie laughs when you place a sweet kiss on niamh’s lips, “aren’t you in the room next to us, mills, we can arrange it if you want?” you tease, niamh laughs loudly, her arms around your waist giving you a little squeeze.
millie’s smile drops, “you know what, ever since you started dating charles, you’re too bold, you used to be so shy” millie scolds, you shrug and kiss niamh again teasingly, making everyone laugh around you.
niamh smiles amusingly against you when you slip your tongue into her mouth quickly, pulling away with a satisfied smile and wiping her bottom lip with the pad of your thumb, making her kiss it when it lingered for a second too long.
“hm, she’s a bad influence” you address millie, only looking at niamh when she playfully bites your thumb, looking down at her with an affectionate smile.
⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆
you know the drill - just pretend it’s you! ily tooney x
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niamhcharles17: apparently i’m a bad influence
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yourname: you are.
↳ niamhcharles17: okay, baby xxx
mbrighty04: i don’t appreciate your bad influence, you’ve wrecked our little shy girl
↳ niamhcharles17: she’s not shy at all
↳ yourname: thin ice, charles. thin.
alessia: they’re in lovvveeeeee
↳ ellatoone: love birds
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forever-rogue · 1 year
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So I have this idea for a peter x reader. basically reader is really quiet and shes friends with Peter. anyway, she develops feeling for him but doubts that he'll ever feel the same and tries to hide it as much as possible. eventually when Peter tells her his feelings she laughs and thinks it's a joke like "how would u like me?" and Peter slows down sadly and is like "why would u think I'm joking?" and ends with just fluffy fluffy confessions and comfort <3
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AN | Oh yes, one of my favorite tropes, aka Peter Parker confesses his love but you’re not buying it❤️
Pairing | tasm!Peter Parker x Fem!Reader
Warnings | Language
Word Count | 3k
Masterlist | Main | Peter
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
You’d known Peter Parker for the latter part of twenty years. 
You’d known that you were in love with him for the last five years. You were pretty sure you’d been in love with him much longer than that, but realization hadn’t dawned on you just yet. 
The revelation had come to you out of the blue one evening when you were at home in your shared apartment, the two of you watching a movie. He didn’t even really do anything special, it just hit as you listened to him comment on random scenes throughout the movie. You were in love with him. 
But just as quickly as you had your breakthrough, you decided to push it to the side, compartmentalized to the back of your mind to decay there. You might have been helplessly in love with him, enamored and enraptured by him, but you would never tell him. 
There was absolutely no way that Peter would ever return your feelings, not even remotely. No, nope, nah. You were his best friend, and that’s all you would ever be. That was your destiny, and while you hated it, you hated the idea of a life without Peter even more. 
So, like some kind of self professed martyr, you decided to live with your secret. 
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
“Are you even paying attention?” you weren’t, not until Peter was waving his hand in front of your face, but he didn’t need to know that. You turned your attention back to him and gave him a tight lipped smile and even weaker nod. He laughed, sugar sweet and syrupy, “you’re lying!”
“Am not,” you huffed petulantly, poking around the food that was on your plate. Admittedly you’d lost your appetite and zoned out when Peter started talking about Kim from work and how she’d asked him out again. He insisted that he’d turned her down, again, but it didn’t cause that nagging feeling in the pit of your stomach to go away, “I couldn’t listen to another word out of your mouth, Parker. The sound alone could put me right to sleep.”
“Oh honey,” he took a sip of his drink, leaning back in his chair as he appraised you. You felt warm under his intent gaze, avoiding his eyes as you practically stared holes into the table, “we both know that’s not true.”
“How?” you snapped your gaze back to him, and found the most satisfied little smirk on his face.
“You wouldn’t have been friends with me for so long if you really thought that,” he leaned forward and shot you a wink, which caused you to almost melt into a puddle, “right?”
“You’re the worst,” there was nothing but an affectionate lilt in your words, “the absolute worst.”
“But you love me,” you knew it was meant as a friendly comment but you felt like your heart had just plummeted into your stomach. Did he know? He couldn’t know. 
“Whatever,” you took the cloth napkin off your lap and tossed onto the table. You were out at a nice restaurant, both of you dressed to the nines; it would have been easy to assume you were a couple on a date. The waiter had made a comment about what a lovely couple you were, “hurry up so we can get out of here and get home.”
Home. As in your singular home. That’s right; not only were you a fool, you were an absolute fool. One that lived with her best friend that she was secretly in love with. It made things…interesting. But, if anything, it was a good exercise in futility. 
“Pajamas and ice cream?” he asked, as if it was really any question. At least one night a week included a lazy night in watching movies in pajamas and lots of ice cream. You loved that you were able to enjoy such simple things, along with the finer things.
“Duh,” you teased, “now come on, before someone mistakes for a couple again.”
“Would that really be such a bad thing?” there was a look of genuine curiosity in his eyes that almost made you spill your deep, dark secret then and there. 
“Yes,” you lied, biting the inside of your cheek, “the worst!”
Peter said nothing but you could feel him watching you. You were afraid that somehow he would learn all your deepest, darkest secrets. 
You hoped he wouldn’t…you weren’t sure how you’d survive that.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
When you woke up the next morning, it was to something that smelled extremely delicious. You groaned as you rolled onto your back, rubbing the last of the sleep from your eyes, stomach gurgling loudly. You slipped out of bed and pulled on a discarded hoodie - it used to be Peter’s but was now yours - and socks as you padded out into the hallway. 
Noise was coming from the kitchen and your brow furrowed as you walked towards the commotion. Peter’s bedroom door was open which meant that it was definitely him that was the source of all the commotion. Odd. He was usually not an early riser. 
“Pete?” a large vase of daffodils, tulips, and daisies sat on the small kitchen table. Your favorites. The boy was in the kitchen, in a t-shirt and gray joggers (damn him), and moved around to make sure everything was ready at the same time, “what’s all this?”
“Hey babe,” the pet name flowed from his lips like it was a no brainer, like this was all so natural between the two of you. You supposed, in a way, it was, “I’m making breakfast.”
“I can see that,” you raised an eyebrow and gestured around, “what’s the occasion?”
“Nothing,” he shrugged lightly, “just wanted to do something nice for you.”
“Peter, that’s…really sweet,” yeah. You weren’t even going to attempt to deny that much, “it looks and smells delicious. And the flowers-”
“Also for you,” this time a sheepish expression crossed his features along with a pretty pink blush, “I just thought you deserved something nice.”
“Is there…it’s not my birthday,” you mused out loud, “it’s not a holiday. So…am I missing something?”
“No,” he considered you for a moment before swallowing thickly, “I just…let me do something nice without the whole interrogation thing!”
“You’re Spider-Man, you should be used to interrogations.”
“Not from you!”
“Well, consider it practice.”
“No, listen, I-” he groaned lightly, swiping a hand over his face, messing up his already roguish hair, “I-I-I-”
“You can’t get all flustered!” you teased, “can’t let the enemy know you’re weak!”
“I’m not-”
“Petey,” you laughed softly, enjoying the little back and forth banter, “I’m just teasing. No need to get so worked up. Look, I’m going to go-”
“I’m in love with you.”
“And shower before breakfast,” the two of you spoke at the same time, but you heard each other loud and clear. You opened and closed your mouth a few times, feeling the heat rise up in your cheeks, flustered and wanting to disappear, “w-why would you say that?”
“What?” he looked confused. Your heart felt like it was about to burst out of your chest, “what do you mean?”
“I was just teasing you, but you don’t have to be cruel,” you felt tears already welling up as your lip trembled with effort to keep from crying, “why would you be so mean?”
“How? I don’t…what?”
“Why would you tease me and say you loved me?” despite your best efforts the tears had welled up and rolled down your face, “I was just messing around, but that’s…hurtful.”
“Wait - what do you mean?” a look of pure panic crossed his features as he shook his head, “why would I just say that? I would never say something like that if I didn’t mean it. Honey-”
“You don’t love me,” you threw up your hands in exasperation, “not like that. You’re my best friend!”
“You’re my best friend too,” he took a step closer and you took one back, “and I do love you as you my best, but you’re so much more than that. I’m in love with you.”
“You’re lying,” you insisted, unable to wrap your head around the fact that he might be telling the truth, “why would you be in love with me? I’m just…me.”
“That’s why I’m in love with you!” he wasn’t sure what your reaction was going to be, but he wasn’t fully expecting this one, “I’ve been in love with you for years! Have you really never noticed?”
“You’re just being a good friend,” were asking him or telling him? You weren’t entirely sure, “you don’t love me! You could never love me. I’m nothing.”
“You’re everything,” but you weren’t listening to him anymore. You were shaking your head, absentmindedly brushing your tears out of your face as you stumbled towards your bedroom. 
“No, please just stop,” you insisted. You ducked into your bedroom and slammed the door shut before locking it. Realistically, if he really wanted to get in it would have been a breeze for him. 
He called your name a few more times before you heard his retreating footsteps go back to the kitchen. All you could think to do was to climb into bed and get under the covers. Dealing with anything - what he had said and what you had said - seemed like the last thing you wanted to think about.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
At some point you woke up from the stress and sadness nap you had taken and found that the sun was shining brightly into the room.  You looked at your phone with a groan when you saw that it was the middle of the afternoon.
Hesitantly you dragged yourself out of bed, again, and slinked towards the door, sticking your ear to it and listening for any signs of life, also known as Peter Benjamin Parker. This would be one of the times it would have been handy to have his enhanced senses, but even with your regular old human abilities, you were sure he wasn’t home. 
With a sigh of relief you opened the door and walked back into the crime scene; the kitchen looked exactly as it had when you’d found Peter in it earlier. He must have left to give you space after your little - okay big - freak out. He’d always been good with boundaries and giving you space when needed.
Part of you almost wished he was here. The flowers on the table were almost taunting you, and you walked over to them, gently touching over their petals. Of course he knew your favorite flowers, he got them for you…kind of a lot now that you were thinking about it. He knew you inside out, better than anyone else, and sometimes you were convinced that he knew you better than you knew yourself. 
You stepped into the kitchen and started to clean things up, putting dishes in the sink and other stuff away. The thought that Peter had touched each and everyone of these things provided a sense of relief. 
Peter often did these sorts of things. He doted on you, you would absolutely admit this, but you’d always chalked it up to his friendly nature. But then…he wasn’t like this with his other friends. He was openly affectionate, yes, but with you it was different. You thought about the fact that he never went on dates with anyone - he would always turn them down, including Kim from work. The few times you’d gone on a date he always seemed upset, even if he tried to suggest otherwise. Huh.
People often asked if the two of you were dating, but you always gave them the same answer: platonic friends with a capital P. It sucked sometimes, especially when you knew that women, and men, practically threw themselves at Peter.
You thought back on all the things he did for you, all the days, nights, and weekends you’d spent together through the years and oh. Oh. 
“Oh,” you whispered the singular word out loud to yourself, halfway through washing a plate when it hit you. 
Peter hadn’t been lying; he was telling you the truth. The truth had been so obvious and right in front of you the entire time.
You wanted to curl up and vanish. Not only had you accused him of lying and only loving you as a friend, you’d run out on him and refused to talk to him like a stubborn child. All you could do was hope that you hadn’t ruined everything. 
When you were finished cleaning up the mess from earlier, you made a mental plan. Maybe he wouldn’t believe you or forgive you, but it was worth a shot like a sort of romantic hail mary. 
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
Peter spent the better part of the day out of the apartment, opting to go and work in his office. His mind was reeling and the only way he could think to get it to quiet down was to throw himself into his work. He hoped that by the time he got home you would be willing to talk to him, or at the very least you wouldn’t run from him. 
Needless to say, he wasn’t expecting you to be in the kitchen making dinner as you sang along to whatever record you threw on the vintage player. You’d gifted it to him a few years ago on his birthday after you’d seen him eyeing it about a hundred times. It was just one of the many ways you showed him love. He’d fallen even more in love that day. 
“Hello?” he asked timidly as he kicked off his sneakers by the door. On the table next to the flowers he’d gotten for you, was another vase, this one filled with daisies and sunflowers; his favorites…because they reminded him of you. 
At the sound of his voice you slowly turned around, bracing yourself for about a million different possibilities. 
“Hi Pete,” you held up your hands in a meek little wave, feeling your flush furiously, “listen-”
“I’m sorry,” the two of you said at the same time.
“W-wait,” a pretty pout settled on your lips. He wanted to kiss you until it went away and was replaced with a smile, “what are you sorry for?”
“For making you uncomfortable,” he shrugged nervously, “I didn’t think what I said would come across so…like it did. I thought you knew, or at least kind of knew, how I felt. I thought maybe you felt the same and it was finally time to tell you. That didn’t land well obviously.”
“Peter,” whenever you said his name like that it made him want to melt into a puddle. 
There were a million things you wanted to say, but couldn’t think of anything. Nothing seemed quite adequate or strong enough to convey the amount of love you held for the man in front of you.
You walked the few remaining steps over and stopped right in front of him, both of you staring at each other intensely. 
You reached up to touch his face, your hand resting on his cheek. You leaned up and closed the little bit of remaining distance, pressing your lips against his. It only took a moment for his brain to catch up to what was happening, and when he did, his hands settled on your waist, and pulled you ever closer into his body. 
Kissing Peter left so natural, so right, like you’d been doing it forever. There was no learning curve - the two of you already know each other so well - no awkward fumbling or misses. It just…was. 
And kissing him was addicting. Now that you knew what it was like, you never wanted to stop. You wanted him all over you, all the time, forever.
But eventually you needed a breath of air and reluctantly pulled apart. You found him watching you like you were the most wonderful thing he had ever seen (you were). 
“I’ve been in love with you for a very, very long time,” you admitted softly, causing his eyes to lit up, “I just never thought…you’ve always been my best friend and I was convinced you’d never want more. So I never said anything.”
“I’ve always wanted more - I want everything,” he took your face in his hands, cradling it delicately as he studied, “it’s always been you.”
“I thought that I was just me, and I’d never be good enough for you. And then I thought maybe you found out how I felt and you were teasing me,” it seemed really silly saying it out loud. 
“I would never do that,” you knew he wouldn’t. Your own self doubt had you convinced of all the wrong things, “I meant it all. I’ve always meant it.”
“I thought about it while you were gone,” it was a soft confession that had you giving him a shy smile, “and I realized it was always so obvious.”
“It’s been terribly obvious,” he agreed as you exchanged soft laughs.
“Terribly,” you agreed, “will you forgive me for how I acted earlier?”
“There’s nothing to forgive,” he insisted, sweet and saccharine, “can I kiss you more?”
“I would-”
Before you could finish what you were saying, you smelt something burning and turned around to find your pain on fire. You panicked while Peter fell into action, taking the pan off and setting it in the sink before getting the fire out. It was just one of the many ways in which you complimented each other perfectly. 
“Anyway, you were saying?” He had the biggest, silliest smile on his face as the kitchen filled with the smell of burnt food. You couldn’t help but break into a fit of giggles at the absurdity of it all...and then the smoke alarm went off.
“You can kiss me anytime,” you finally got to say what you had wanted to, shouting slightly over the alarm before the two of you dissolved into laughter, “I love you, Peter Parker. Really.”
“I really love you, honey bee.”
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l0vergirlv0mit · 6 months
Text
Bags
Song to go with: Bag by Clairo ❤️
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Pairing: College!Hazel Callahan x Reader
Summary: you’ve been in love with your best friend for years. Watching her date people sucks especially when one of the absolutely despises you.
Contents/warning: Switch!Hazel x Switch!Reader, fingering, oral, pet names, nipple play, cursing, threats, light? violence (nothing gory), sm yearning.
A/n: for the dorm imagine Buffy and willows dorm from btvs<3. Also reader isn’t fem but also isn’t masc but is definitely masc leaning. for my in between girlies 😘.
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You alarm clock rudely wakes you up with an incessant buzz. Hitting it a bit to hard it falls off your night stand making you groan into the sunlit room. You sit up with squinted eyes not noticing that Hazel was still in the dorm. “Well good morning sleepy head.” She smiles at your groggy state.
You wake up just enough to snatch the alarm clock of the ground and punch it off. “Ughhh good morning.” Your eyes finally adjust to the light fully taking Hazel in. She was still in her pjs wearing a white wife pleaser and low waisted grey sweats. “Shouldn’t you be in class right now?” You ask her confused as to why she was skipping her morning class.
“I should but Anya had me up till 2.” She clasps her hands around the back of her neck. She still had her tired raspy voice probably having woken up a couple minutes before you. “Oh god spare me.” Suppressing an eye roll you got up from the bed and grabbed your towel, getting ready to go to the showers. Anya pissed you off to no end.
And it wasn’t because she was dating the person you wanted more than anything (maybe a little bit). It was her glares and her back handed compliments that she gave you any chance she could. How she would snap at people over anything and everything she was extremely abrasive.
Your friends tried to explain that that was just her personality but you didn’t function like that you were quiet and sweet. Both didn’t mix well so she tended to single you out. Always trying to push you out of your comfort zone by teasing and getting a rise out of you. You can barley ask a waiter for ketchup let alone defend yourself. But you refuse to tell Hazel about her behavior because she was happy. She was so sweet to Hazel and that made you most livid.
“Not like that y/n we went out for our 4 months.” She grinned at your scrunched face. “How fun nothing says I love you like sleep deprivation.” She raises her eyebrows at your grouchy mood with a soft smile still on her lips.
“Oh wow someone’s moody, anyway Josie was texting the group chat about a going to the bar tonight are you gonna come?” Hazel asks you hoping you’d say yes because you never go out. “Mmm I’ll think about it Haze Ill probably have a lot of work to do.” Hazel sighs. “Pleaseeee you never come out with us anymore.” She give you a pleading look. “I have a lot of today I’ll let you know if I’m up for it.” You giggle at her childish tone and pat her shoulder then leave the dorm.
You let Hazel know you were coming and put your phone down and change out of your work clothes. Your style has always been a bit more grungy and masculine only really dressing a bit feminine for special events or outings.
You put on your favorite baggy black jeans that hung off your hips so beautifully. Then put on a spaghetti strap tank top and a long sleeve over it made of black mesh and lace that was completely see through. You left your hair messy and smudged black shadow and liner on your eyes. Finishing off your outfit by putting on your black docs.
Hazel was already with the group so you drove yourself to Josie, PJ, and Isabel’s shared apartment. You found your way to the apartment door knocking timidly. You rock back and forth on your feet waiting for someone to open the door.
When someone finally does it’s her. She doesn’t talk to you directly. “Y/n is here now guys can we finally leave?” She says not letting you in yet talking to YOUR friends behind the door.
Hazel quickly comes to the door and smiles brightly at you pulling you in by your hand . “Oh wow someone’s trying to get lucky tonight.” Hazel softly says nudging you. This earns you a glare from Anya.
The group sits in the living room area to catch up before heading out. Everyone’s talking but your mind is elsewhere. You’ve always been the quieter one of the group so your lack of conversation goes unnoticed.
You can’t help but stare at Hazel and Anya. A deep grief blooms in your chest. Hazels arm around Anya protectively. Anya tucks a piece of hair behind Hazels ear and kissed her on the cheek. Hazels face becomes so soft and loving it tears you apart wishing so bad that you were Anya. Hazels hand travels to her waist to pull her closer just to top it off.
You look at Anya for a bit taking in how perfect and pretty she is. She’s so feminine and put together. She was everything you would never be. She had on a full face of makeup that was perfectly done and a dress that hugged in all the right spots. She was an absolutely gorgeous girl.
You were only pulled out of this haze by Josie putting her hand on your knee. Knowing exactly what was going through your mind. You had drunkenly told her about your 2 year long crush on Hazel in a club bathroom. You look back at her with glazed over eyes and squeeze her hand as a silent thank you.
“Are you guys ready to get wasted cause I am.” Josie announced and pulled you up with her off the couch. She looks to you and smiles trying to change the mood that’s setting in. You smile back but felt suffocated anyway and had to leave. Everyone excitedly agrees and heads over the bar.
This bar was THE bar all the college kids go there to find hookups and get drunk. The group gets drinks to loosen up but you decide to hold off for tonight. You let your friends make you dance their tipsy state amusing you. You move timidly at first but the encouragement from your friends has you swaying to the music.
You danced with Britney trying to absorb her confidence in some way. When Hazel comes over to playfully dance with you twirling you around and giggling. She saw your shyness and was trying to remedy it.
She made you sway with her hands on your waist. It was all friendly and playful and you were best friends so it wasn’t unusual behavior.
Nonetheless you felt your face get warmer at her proximity. Anya was staring from the bar after telling Hazel she didn’t feel like dancing. Anya really thought Hazel was just going to sit there and watch all of her friends dance instead.
Anya quickly changed her mind though. Seeing you too make her jealous. Hopping out of her seat and waltzing over to shove you away from Hazel with feigned innocence. Hazel mouths sorry towards you and it was your turn to go to the bar and watch from a far. You get yourself a coke to sip on since you would be driving later, not much of a drinker anyway.
You sit there mindlessly scrolling your phone trying to keep yourself occupied. Watching them still it hurts your chest. Hazel holds Anya close she has her face in the crook of her neck holding her from behind. It was a real sight. Especially when Hazel looked so good. Her cropped white tee and baggy jeans left just enough midriff exposed to mesmerize you.
Josie comes to sit besides you breaking your trance. “I hate her.” Is all she says and she looks from Anya to you. “Me too.” You both laugh together. “Yeah she’s kind of a bitch isn’t she.” Josie remarks pressing her lips together and furrowing her brows.
“Yeah she’s something.” You huffed and smiled brighter grateful for your friendship .That’s when Josie gets a certain look that you know to well. “You wanna smoke?” She flashes you a wide grin and wiggles her eyebrows. “Oh god yes.” You take one last sip of your coke and follow her outside.
You and Josie walk back into the bar in a hazy giggle. After a shit talking session that had you loosing your shit and gasping at gossip. You go to dance again and you notice Anya arguing with Hazel.
Anya rolled her eyes and says something that made Hazels face contort into hurt. Hazel says something in a pout then storms off in the other direction. “Jesus they do this shit every fucking night bro.” Josie rolls her eyes following Hazel to the bathroom. Every night? You though to yourself. You were under the impression everything was great?
The anger taking over your body doesn’t let you ponder over it more. Body moving without you telling it too, you yank her shoulder to face you. She was taller than you and definitely stronger then you but you didn’t care. The face Hazel made at Anya was enough motivation. You could’ve fought 10 frat boys and won.
“Hey! What did you say to her.” You could stand her being mean to you but being mean Hazel was absolutely not allowed. “I don’t think that’s any of your business y/n.”
She looks you up and down. “I suggest you fuck off before I tell her your little secret.” She gets closer to you only inches from your face. “What do you mean secret?” You started getting nervous. She grabs your face in her hand and looks in your scared eyes. “Your in love with her. It’s pathetic really the way you gawk at her.” Her acrylics are digging into your cheeks. Frantically staring at her in disbelief.
“Start keeping your distance y/n, Im not worried about you im just annoyed that you THINK that could happen. Like she’d ever be into someone like you.”
She let’s go of your face lightly tapping it. You feel tears fill your eyes about to break the barrier of your water line. “I-i… f-fuck you Anya.” Tears cascade down your face. Anya just vocalized your internal thoughts for the past 2 years now your sure she’s some demon from hell that crawled out to make your life miserable.
Just as Hazel and Josie come out of the bathroom they see you walk quickly out of the bar. Hazel feels completely exhausted, this was supposed to be a fun night you FINALLY agreed to have fun and hang out again.
Hazel follows you out just catching up to you when you get to the door of your car. “Y/n! Wait! Please, where are you going it’s barley been an hour?” She looks at you confused eye brows pushed together and hands on her hips. “I’m tired Hazel.” You can’t face her you can’t stop the tears rolling down.
You open the door but Hazel puts a firm hand down closing it again getting frustrated at your short response. You finally look her in the eyes and she takes you in. “Holy shit y/n are you ok?” She goes to put a hand on your shoulder but you flinch. Her face becomes even more worried than before. Staring at the streaks running down your cheeks.
“Please Hazel I just wanna go home. I’ll talk to you tomorrow ok.” Hazel moves her hand from the door and lets you open it. “We will talk about this tomorrow?” She ask you to get more confirmation. “We will.” You reassured her knowing talking was the last thing you were gonna do.
You drove back to your dorm still feeling shocks of fear pulse through you at the thought of Hazel knowing you were completely in love with her. Losing her would do more than wreck you. She’s been your best friend for what felt like forever.
Finally inside your dorm you rip your clothes off and put you pjs on as fast as you could. You didn’t bother to take your make up off and fell asleep as soon as your head hit the pillow. Thank god for the weed.
Your woken up by the jiggling of keys. You turn to look at the time and you way overslept. “Oh your up.” She closes the door lightly walking over to your bed. She puts a brown paper on your nightstand and smiled softly at you. “I got you a bagel from the place we like, I made sure they put extra cheese and hash browns. And I got you salsa.” The same sadness you felt the night before washed over you. Her sweetness makes you fall apart in more ways then one.
���Thanks Hazel.” You can only produce a small awkward smile. “Do you wanna talk about last night?” She carefully sat next to you and put her hand on your back, rubbing up and down. “I’m ok Hazel, really it’s fine.” You brush her off.
“I can’t help you if you push me away y/n. You’ve been really distant recently I’m worried. I-i mean did I do something?” She spoke softly and looked at your face silently begging for you to look her in the eyes instead of the floor.
But you can’t you start to cry before you can even get a word out. “No you didn’t do anything I’m sorry. Last night Anya was just really mean. Well she’s mean every time I’m around her but I-I’m sorry.” You spoke through tears and hiccups not even knowing even know why you were saying sorry. Regretting everything you just said. You knew Anya was going to tell her—everything was going to be ripped away from you.
Hazels face contorted into anger and shock. You were petrified that you had made her angry at you. “Anya did this.” Her tone was steady and dark. You nodded. Her jaw was clenched and her fist balled breathing heavily. She grabs her keys and opens the door. “I’ll be back in 30 minutes.” She shut the door behind her harder than she meant too. She quite literally couldn’t control her anger. She liked Anya, a lot actually, but the fighting has gotten to much. Hazel could handle a bit of sass from her here and there. But knowing she hurt you had Hazel enraged.
It had been 45 minutes of you sitting there bouncing your leg. Shaking anticipating the consequences of your breakdown. You tried watching a movie to get your mind off of your situation but you couldn’t focus. The bagel on your nightstand making you nauseous just by being there. Frustrated tears forcing there way up every once in a while.
You hear the knob jiggle and keys. Your immediately alerted. Hazel calmly walks through the door and moves to where you’ve come to stand infront of your bed. She takes your face into her soft hands pulling you into the deepest kiss you’ve ever had. When she finally lets you catch your breath she looks in your watery eyes .
“Why did you never tell me.” She whispers looking over your post cry face. Your lips puffy and pink frustrated cheeks. You notice that her lip is busted and she has a mark on her cheek that is definitely going to turn into a bruise. “Y-you aren’t angry? Are you ok?” You started to tear up again from the relief.
“No baby i could never be angry at you. And I’m fine just thought I should put what I’ve learned in my boxing class to use.” As she’s wiping your tears way, your remember, her and Anya took the same boxing class; thats actually how they met. Hazel looked angry but you didn’t think she was THAT angry. “I didn’t think you thought I was pretty.” She pulls you closer to her. “What! Why is that?” She questioned from the crook of your neck. “Cause you date girls like Anya I didn’t think I was your type.”
Hazel suddenly starts placing kisses on your neck. She realizes she has you turning into putty in her hands, like she always wanted. Everything about you was captivating to her in this moment. The way you smelled, the way your skin felt, how she could hear your breathing pick up with every kiss.
Your heart was racing you couldn’t believe this was actually happening. “Your not gonna have to worry about Anya anymore honey, I promise. Your the only girl I want. And your sooo my type.” Hazel sucks a bruise with no warning into your neck and licks over it. “Oh my god Hazel please.” Your hand reaches up into her hair your fingers tangled in her silky brown tresses. “Please what baby?”
Your face got impossibly redder whole body on fire unsure of how to answer her. Feeling the way Hazels hands roamed you made your head spin. You just couldn’t take it anymore pulling her up lightly by the hair to have her look at you.
“I need you.”
You make sure you say it clearly. Hazels eyes become more lidded than before overcome with lust. She pushed you backwards towards her bed until you fall into her sheets.
“Y-your so beautiful.” Shes stammering seeing you laid out in HER bed. She connects your lips again teeth clashing and tongues fighting for dominance.
You want to make her feel as good as she’s making you feel. Her knee comes between your legs giving you relief from pulsing heart beat that’s developed.
Your grinding on each other urgently. Years of pent up sexual frustration and longing being released.
You try to keep up with her kisses the best you can. The friction making you lose control. Completely entangled in each other, hands trying to feel every part of her.
Exchanging heavy breaths and soft whimpers. It was frenzied and sloppy it was the hottest thing you’ve ever experienced.
You tug her shirt over her head. She does the same for your exposing your bare chest. “Fuck.” Her brows pushing together as she feels her arousal pooling in her boxers. She can’t help but gently thumb your hard nipple trailing kisses from your collar bone to your breast.
She took the soft flesh into her mouth leaving hot kisses. Her hand massaged the other. Her lips wrapped around your nipple and released it with a pop. You let out a strained moan.
Her hand traveled to the waist band of your pajamas pants. Teasing you with her fingers moving back and forth under the fabric.
“Can I take these off.” She ask you her eyes begging you to say yes, desperate to see all of you. “Please” You nodded and she gently undressed you leaving your skin vulnerable to cool air for your dorm.
It doesn’t matter though, because Hazels warm body is pressed to you in a second. Her hand trails from your breast to your hip slowly, keeping your attention.
“Do you know how long Ive wanted you?” You shake your head, voice escaping you in the moment. Her finger slides through your folds, your wetness sending waves of pleasure and confidence through her. The sound alone made her ache.
“Way to fucking long.” She slips a finger in your soaked needy hole. You let out an open mouthed exhale. She slips in another finger. “Fuck! Mm-n!”
Her fingers stretched you out and the sensation was mind numbing. An endless repeat hazelhazelhazelhazel. Was all you could think about. Her fingers curled at a slow pace hitting just the right spot. Working your clit with her thumb at the same time.
“Im I making you feel good honey?” Her voice was gentle and attentive. The way she was grinding down on your thigh mixed with your pretty noises was making her go insane. Your moans start to get more frequent. As you were embarrassingly close to release so soon. “S-so good Hazel.”
“Talk to me sweetheart. This is all mine now right?” Hazel questions you her pace picking up and mouthing your tits. “All yours all yours all yours all…” You mumbled to her as your eyes flutter. “That’s right honey.” She kept a rough tempo leaving marks on your chest until you were finally coming undone under her.
Shes watches as your orgasm possesses you. Moaning her name as you arch your back grinding yourself against her fingers. “Yeah honey just like that cum for me baby.” She doesn’t stop till your squirming from overstimulation.
You catch your breath for a second before becoming focused. You didn’t want your fatigue from your orgasm to keep you from pleasing her. Hazels already pulling you into another deep kiss like before.
“I want to make you feel good now Hazel.” She seemed a little shocked. As you think about the girls she’s hooked up that’s probably not the kind of treatment she was used too.
“You don’t have to y/n, making you cum is pleasure enough.” She seemed almost nervous. You shake your head and take her hand placing the two fingers that were just fucking deep inside of you into your mouth.
Releasing them with a pop. Her eyes are droopy and mouth slightly open. Her chest breathing deeply overwhelmed with lust. “No Hazel. I really want to make you feel good.”
Hazels ripping off her sports bra without another word. You nudge her shoulder down and straddle her. She’s frantically trying to take her sweats and boxers off. You help her rip them off and throw them across the room.
The sight is beautiful she’s completely soak, all you want is to have your face between her thighs. “Can I taste you?” You ask coyly as your hands rub up and down the tops of her thighs, your words going straight to her core. “Fuck, y-yeah, yes p-please—I mean.”
You settle between her thighs leaving light kisses on her inner thighs. Hazels having a hard time keeping still with you so close to where she needed you.
You look up into her eyes through your lashes as your breath fans over her soaked cunt. She lets out a whimper on accident and it set her body on fire with embarrassment.
Finally you lick a broad stripe. Hazel sign in relief. Her fingers pulling at your roots. Your hands are hooked over her thighs keeping them apart. Tongue flicking over her clit at a pace YOU didn’t even know was possible.
Hazel eased into the feeling of being taken care of. She’s switching between look you in the eyes and looking at the ceiling when the shyness become too much. She quietly took in the sensation of being taken care of before speaking trying to get rid of the shyness.
“I’ve thought about you like this s-so many nights.” Hazel mumbles out between whimpers. You push your finger into her curling. “Yeah?” You question quickly. She throws her head back when you go back to sucking on her clit.
You add another finger. Pace becoming quicker and deeper. “I always imagined this,oh god,h-happening during one of our movie nights.” You hum into her creating a whole new sensation as her legs start to quake. “I th-thought youd take the hint. Oh god don’t stop.”
She let out a soft laugh until the knot in her stomach was becoming to much to handle. “I mean we c-cuddled for like 3 hours at a time! Shitshitshit!” Hazels grip on your hair became tight as her eyes rolled back, letting out a loud moan. The knot in her stomach snapping as the white hot feeling flushes over her.
You watch her in awe. Her chest heaving as she grinds into you her other hand gripping the headboard showing her toned tricep.
You help her fully ride out her orgasm then pull away to use your shirt to clean yourself in and lay next to her gently.
Hazel turns to look at you with a tired smile spreading across her face. She cups your cheek once more kissing your forehead. “I thought it would end like this too.” She says to you quietly. “Me too.” You reply going to kiss the tip of her nose. She looks into your eyes for a moment thinking.
Her eyebrows push together as a though crosses her mind. “Did you ever eat the bagel?” You laugh at her genuinely concerned question and pull her into an embrace, warm bodies lovingly entwined. “No I actually thought I was dying though in my defense.” Hazel pouts at you.
“Did you beat up Anya?” You question her instead. “I tried to but she honestly kicked my ass sooo bad, like embarrassing I’m so happy you weren’t there” You laughed at this too.
“I looked cool though right?” She dropped her voice dramatically. “Oh yeah sooo cool.” She gasped at your sarcasm.
When your both of yours laughter dies down it’s seems both of you have the same realization that your best friend was now your girlfriend. Eyes saying what they needed too.
“You wanna watch a movie?” You asked quietly. “Only after you eat cause a $12 bagel on a college student budget is atrocious.” She kissed your forehead and nudged you to get up.
(Thank you for reading😙)
543 notes · View notes
totheblood · 1 year
Text
superposition. (two)
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pairing: dealer!ellie x best friend!reader
summary: ellie gives you lesson number two and you get an A on your test! yay.
warnings: 18+, SMUT, cursing, alcohol/drug mention, suggestive themes... cheating if u squint... the ai audios for this one is?????? just don't listen to it around people pls
a/n: smut is so not my strong suit but like... i tried!! please know i'd love feed back and all reblogs and replies and asks are welcomed and encouraged... i love u all so bad i hope u like this.. ai audios at the end are again... steamy?
read part one to this fic here!
"why dont we collide the spaces that divide us?"
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You think your first date was a success.
Malia, your date, did everything right. She held open the door for you, made you laugh, and walked you home with your hand in hers. Her hands were soft, contrasting Ellie’s calloused fingers and dry hands, and by the end of the walk they had grown clammy. She smelled like coconut milk and pink pepper, and her ginger hair stretched passed her shoulders. When she spoke her tone was gentle, her words almost sickly sweet as they fell from her lips. On paper she was perfect.
But as the two of you approached your apartment building and her cherry-flavored lips met yours, it wasn’t like you had imagined. You were unsure if you sitting in Ellie’s lap earlier that night had anything to do with the sour taste left in your mouth as you gave her another kiss goodnight, but it certainly wasn’t helping.
“We should do this again.” Malia practically shouted as you walked up the stairs to your building's entrance. “I had a lot of fun tonight.”
“We should,” An odd feeling settled in your chest. “Text me, yeah?”
“Okay, I will.” Her smile held warmth in it, her cheeks growing red. It was obvious she was really into the date and while your chest swelled with pride, it also didn’t swell with the same affection she was harboring. A part of you assumed that love didn’t happen gradually and that your feelings would only grow as time went on, but you couldn’t be sure of that at this moment. All you knew was that she was practically perfect, but she wasn’t Ellie.
The whole night all you could think about was the fact that everything she did was the complete opposite of what Ellie would do. Your whole brain felt muddy as you searched around in your bag for keys wondering why you suddenly felt the need to compare your date to your best friend. It would never work out between you and Ellie anyways… right?
It wasn’t like you hadn’t found Ellie attractive when you first met her, but you were inexperienced and way too shy to flirt with her. As a result, the friend zone became a permanent place for you and Ellie. There was a comfortable haze that settled in the air when you were with her and it was a growing fear of yours that something could jeopardize it, and knowing Ellie that was entirely plausible. 
You wouldn’t go to the lengths of saying that Ellie was a ‘fuck boy’ but it was clear she got around. On many different occasions, you had let yourself into her apartment and been met with varying girls, all of whom Ellie claimed she would never call back. You had to actively ignore the disappointment you felt each time you interrupted her with someone, and the anxiety at your throat when she claimed she was already over them. You knew Ellie would never abandon you like that, but it was still a possibility.
Whatever feelings you had when you first met her, however, were now shoved down into a deep place in your brain that was threatening to come to the surface again. You didn’t want her to be anything but ‘your Ellie’ and you desperately wanted to remain ‘her petal’. At this moment there was nothing more important to you than keeping the small semblance of domestic bliss that you had with her.
As you hung up your bag and began to take off your coat you felt your phone vibrate in the pocket. It was almost perfect timing from Ellie seeing as you would have spent the entire night searching for your phone and thinking Malia had robbed you. 
E: How’s the date going? Or how did it go? 
E: Unsure of my timing rn.
Y: it WENT well… she was cute
E: Did you use any of my techniques?
Y: no nothing happened, we just kissed goodnight and then she left
Y: plus you didn’t teach me any techniques you just made out with me
Y: hoping that was free lesson cause idk if i can afford the ellie williams tuition
E: That’s boring.
E: No action? I mean it’s Friday night.
E: It’s always gonna be free for you, Petal.
Y:  no action :( 
E: Poor baby. 
E: We should fix that.
E: Want me to come over? We can smoke and you can tell me all about this very boring date.
Y: IT WASN’T BORING STOP THAT
Y: and yes, my answer is always going to be yes to smoking with u
E: When you got so high that one time and bit me…
E: Don’t bite me again.
E: Wait actually…
Y: perv
E: Shut up.
You got undressed and changed into the same outfit that you slept in every night, an old t-shirt and grey sweatshirts. For a moment you contemplated not taking off your makeup, wanting to look nice for Ellie, but your need for comfort won you over this time. It wasn’t too long later that Ellie was making her way into your apartment and placing her backpack down on the floor. You moved to stand in the doorframe of your bedroom shooting a pointed look at Ellie.
“What are you looking at me like that for?” She removed her coat and threw it over the couch revealing her own casual outfit underneath: A loose t-shirt and grey sweatpants. Fuck, she looked good in those swea-
 “You should really knock, Ellie,” This same lecture had poured from your mouth every time she did this, but she never stopped. Truth be told, Ellie liked the idea of coming home to you, just letting herself in and setting her shit down as she had just done. It was a small act in the large umbrella of romantically ambiguous things the two of you had gotten used to doing.
If Ellie was being honest with herself she would finally admit that whatever relationship the two of you had always bordered on the verge of no longer being platonic. She would just find herself doing things for you that she would never do for anyone else. She always let you smoke for free, voted on whatever movie you wanted to watch during movie night just to see you smile, and she was doing shit like she had done tonight. 
The minute you left for your date Ellie was glued to her phone, patiently waiting for you to tell her the date went to shit and that you needed her to come over and light up with you. As the night went on Ellie found herself anxiously bouncing her leg and obsessively checking your location. She was supposed to be working tonight, but instead, she was cyberstalking her best friend who was on a date. This time it was her turn to feel like a loser.
“Then why did you give me a key?” She walked over to you, hands in her pockets as she leaned up against your door frame. Your oversized t-shirt swallowed you whole hiding the shorts you had on underneath. You looked so at home, so comfortable, and everything in Ellie’s head turned to mush as she imagined pulling you into her by your hips and kissing the lecture right off your lips.
“For emergencies.” Your eyes instinctively rolled at her but you knew you could never be mad at her. You secretly liked it as much as she did. 
“I thought it was an emergency. You know, that your date was sooo boring that you needed me to come and take care of you.” From her pocket she pulled out a skinny plastic container, popping open the top with her pointer and thumb and shaking the joint into her hand. “Plus, I bought you free weed so you can’t be too mad at me, Petal.”
“It wasn’t boring, stop saying that.” You took the joint from her hand and led her over to your side table where you kept your lighter. Placing the tip of the joint between your lips you attempted to light your lighter as you sat on your bed, but failed. 
“The fact that you still don’t know how to use your lighter is beyond me.” Ellie walked over to you, taking the lighter from your hands. “What would you do without me?” 
You were about to roll your eyes when Ellie’s free hand found the bottom of your chin, lifting it up slowly so you were looking up at her from your place on the bed. She towered over you in this position, her eyes trained on your lips where her joint was hanging from your mouth. She quickly lit the lighter and loosely grabbed your chin, bringing it close to her other hand where she lit the joint for you. She was unsure of where this bout of confidence came from, but she would be lying if she said she didn’t have several fantasies about you that began this way. 
Dazed, you stared up at her watching her hooded green eyes take you in. For a moment, you forgot what you were doing when she knocked her knees gently against yours. 
“Suck.” She commanded, voice low and sultry. In response your eyebrows knit together in confusion, not fully understanding what she was trying to say. “The joint, Petal. Take a hit.” 
Her voice came out in a whisper that would have made your knees weak if you were standing up, but you happily obeyed her, taking a drag. You took a deep inhale allowing the familiar burn to sit comfortably in your chest. Ellie removed her hand from your chin and sat down next to you. You almost whined at the loss of contact. 
As you usually did, you passed the joint over to Ellie, watching as she took a hit and blew smoke into the room. She was in her element, here with you and taking care of you in the only way she knew how. All of the things she refused to share with you were shoved deep down into a place she was forgetting the name of right now. All that mattered was you.
 When she passed it back to you she smiled, watching as your eyes became half-lidded and calm. You were in your soft place, a perfect place to stop. Ellie took another hit and clipped it, shoving it back into its original container and back into her pocket. 
“So,” She began, leaning back on both her hands and turning towards you. “How did it actually go?”
“I think it went well,” You smiled causing Ellie to instinctively smile back at you. “She was cute, really nice, laughed at all my jokes.”
“She must really like you then,” Ellie laughed to herself. “Cause your jokes are shit.” 
“Oh, fuck you.” You giggled, leaning into her. When you sat back upright Ellie had a wide grin planted on her face. 
“What?” You questioned her.
“Did you kiss her?” Ellie’s smile faltered slightly, her eyes telling her true intentions. She wanted to know if the girl you went on a date with was a better kisser than her. 
“Yeah.” You sighed, chewing on your bottom lip anxiously.
“Was it good?” Ellie’s smile was completely gone by this point.
“Not as good as with you.” You confessed, and just like that Ellie’s smile was back. “I mean it just wasn’t as good, but it was a first date what do I expect? Maybe it’ll be better next time.” Gone, again.
“Next time?”
“Yeah, I’d like to see where it goes.” You shrugged, matching Ellie's posture with your hands behind you.
“Maybe you just need more lessons.” Her eyes were fixed on yours, red and glossed over. 
“Maybe.” You blinked over at her, mouth going dry. “What are you getting out of it?”
“I’m just a really good friend, I guess.” She joked, hitting your shoulder with hers.
“Yea.” You whispered, eyes glancing at her lips.
“Ready for another lesson, Petal?” Her voice was steady, her high giving her the confidence sobriety couldn’t. All you could do in response was nod. She pushed herself off the bed and gently tapped the side of your exposed thigh. “Okay, lay back on the bed for me.” 
Quickly, you obliged, lifting your legs onto your floral bedsheet. Everything around you felt like silk from your high, the sheets, Ellie’s hands, the pillow that you rested your head on. 
“Good girl.” Ellie smiled, getting back on the bed, and sitting on her knees with her legs tucked underneath her. Gently, she leaned forward and pressed a soft peck on your lips, wiping off any trace of Malia. It wasn’t like the kiss the two of you shared earlier, your tongues weren’t down each other's throats and her hands remained at her side. It was slow, tantalizing almost, and when she pulled away a girlish smile spread across her face. When she sat back on her knees her hand hovered over your stomach. “It’s okay if I touch you here?”
You were rendered speechless, she was being so soft and gentle with you that it made you like putty in her hands. You eagerly nodded, causing Ellie to laugh. “I’ll tell you everything I’m doing, Petal. Maybe you’ll be able to teach your boring date what to do next time.” Her hands slipped under your shirt and skimmed the base of your stomach. Your breath hitched in your throat, hindering any ability to tell her your date wasn’t boring. At this point, she could say whatever she wanted to you and you would take it. 
“I’m gonna take these off, okay?” Your eyes peered down at her, nodding once again. She pulled your shorts and underwear down together, painfully slow. She let them rest at your knees and lifted up your shirt that was covering your center. Suddenly, you felt extremely shy but didn’t make an effort to stop her. 
“You look so pretty, Petal.” She cooed as if she could read your mind. “Almost want to kiss it.”
“You can.” You weakly replied, knowing you were dripping from her words alone.
“Not so fast. We haven’t gotten there, yet. Basics, Petal. I thought you knew this.” Ellie leaned forward and pressed a kiss below your belly button, earning a whimper from you. 
“Be as loud as you need, okay?” Another kiss, another whimper. “I wanna hear you.” She moved to kiss you on the inside of your thigh. A gasp fell from your lips causing Ellie to smile against your skin. “Need you to tell me how good I’m doing.” 
“I’m gonna touch you now,” Her pointer and middle finger tapped your clit. Ellie was so focused on your cunt that she didn’t see your mouth fall open. “Right here.” 
Slowly she began rubbing tiny circles into your clit, applying light pressure. Your eyes fluttered closed, and a small moan escaped from your lips. Almost as if on cue, Ellie began applying more pressure, her eyes now focused on your contorting face.  
“Hey, hey, look at me.” She coaxed making your eyes glance at her. She looked so pretty, so focused on you that it made your pussy clench around nothing. “Feel good?”
Another nod.
“Use your words.” She picked up her pace making you scream out. Ellie almost moaned herself, just at the sight of you. “Mhm…Tell me how good I’m making you feel.”
“Fuck, Ellie,” Your breathing was jagged as you felt a knot tighten in your stomach. “It feels so,” She applied a little more pressure, causing your eyes to roll back into your head. “Fuck.” 
“You’re doing so well, baby.” Her movements were calculated, and her words were only egging you on.
“Ellie, I think I’m gonna-”
“Do it. Cum. I know you can do it, baby.” She was pressing hard and fast circles into you and leaned forward to press another kiss into the inside of your thigh. All it took was the words of encouragement from her and you were coming undone, screaming out her name in between rapid breaths. When Ellie was sure you were done she pulled her hand away and licked her fingers.
You collapsed into the bed, eyes closed and trying to steady your breathing. When you opened them Ellie was gone, causing you to sit up sharply, wondering if you had just fantasized what just happened. 
“Ellie?” You called out, looking towards your door where she was returning with a washcloth in her hands. 
“Just needed to get this.” She lifted up the washcloth and shook it as she sat back down next to you on the bed. “You kind of made a mess.” She chuckled. 
“Oh,” was all you said as you glanced down to where you were dripping onto your bed. 
“Can I?” You nodded, ignoring her red cheeks as she cleaned you up. 
“Thanks for that.” You started as you watched Ellie pull your pants back up. “I’ll see if I can teach Malia anything. I think your lessons will really help, you know.” And just like that the gentle smile that Ellie had plastered on her face since she began cleaning you up was gone. 
It was almost as if a part of her believed she could fuck you into loving her but it was becoming increasingly obvious these really were just lessons to you. 
“Yeah.” She sighed, standing up and throwing the washcloth in your hamper. “I should get going. It’s getting late.” 
“Oh, okay.” You smiled up at her, hoping to see her smile back. She didn’t. “Text me when you get home?”
“Will do.” 
And just like that she was gone.
ai audios:
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physalian · 30 days
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In Defense of Fanfiction (Or the perfect starting point for your original novel)
Fanfic gets a bad rap pretty much everywhere except Tumblr. It’s misunderstood and misrepresented by its average works, seen as juvenile and cringey, or a banal point of contention between a famous person or piece of media and its fans.
Outside of fanfic that writes about real people, especially smut fics of real people, I support the art wholeheartedly. Fictional characters are one thing, but personally, caricaturing a celebrity’s life for public consumption and writing or drawing them in compromising content without their consent is a little weird. You do you. Don’t like, don’t read, as they say.
Fanfic is the perfect starting point for a few reasons:
It places you in a creative box and forces you to work within those constraints
It does all the worldbuilding and character concepts for you
It lets you write way outside your comfort zone
When published and receiving feedback, it boosts your self-confidence
It's incredibly flexible
It’s practice. All practice is good practice
Behold your creative box
When I was little I had no idea the majority of fanfic was shipping fics. I always pictured and looked for canon-divergent alternate universes. Like, what if X happened in this episode instead of Y? What if this character never died?
Fanfic demands you work within someone else’s canon, whether it’s an OC in the canonical world, or the canonical characters in an AU. These are like little bowling bumpers saving you from the gutter, but also keeping you on a straight-ish path toward the pins.
The indecisiveness of too many choices can be too intimidating when you’re first starting out. You want to be a writer but you have no idea where to begin, what genre to pick, what characters you want to chronicle, what themes you want to explore.
Even if it sits on your computer never to see the light of day, you still got those creative juices flowing.
Pre-packaged worldbuilding
Sometimes all we want is to get to the good stuff. Maybe I want to write a story about elemental magicians but Last Airbender already exists and I just want to play in a pre-existing sandbox. So I write some OCs into that world and have a free-for-all.
I don’t have to come up with my own lore, world history, magic system rules and mechanics, politics, geography—any of it. I get to just focus on the characters.
Even if you’re writing an AU, like say a coffee shop AU, you don’t have to think about brand new characters, you can just think “What would M do?” and go from there. The trade-off is your readers will expect canonical characters to behave in-character, but I think it’s worth it.
Stretch beyond your comfort zone!
Do you hate writing action scenes? Go practice with a shonen anime fic. Need work on dialogue? Write some high-fantasy fic, or a courtroom drama. Practice a fistfight by watching fistfights and writing what you see, and do it over and over again until what you read makes you feel like you're watching what’s on screen.
But beyond that—practice genres that you aren’t super familiar with. If you’re new to fantasy, write fantasy fic. Or a mystery novel/show, thriller, comedy, satire, adventure, what have you. The nature of fanfic still gives you those “guardrails” and you can get some brutally honest feedback on how you’re doing.
And, of course, the realm of M-rated romance and smut fics. I haven’t because I think I would die of embarrassment if I tried and I never intend to include sex scenes in my works anyway, but if you do want to, use the internet as your test audience. Post it on a throwaway account if you’re nervous.
Build that self-confidence!
The fandoms I used to write for are super dead, so it’s insane how I still get email notifications that so-and-so liked my fic to this day. Comments are as elusive as ever, but random strangers on the internet telling me they liked my work is a magical reassurance that my writing isn’t actually awful.
Random strangers on the internet are, as we all know, beholden to no moral obligation to be kind to your little avatar face, or be kind to be polite. So a rando taking the time to like my work or even leave a positive comment can feel more honest than one of my friends telling me what they think I want to hear.
I tend to avoid the more present aspects of fandom like online communities, forums, social media, what have you, so I get a delayed and diluted aspect of any given fandom through completed works. Which means, in general, I get to avoid the worst and most toxic aspects of fandom and get to sift through positive feedback and critique.
Even if your fanfic isn’t written with stellar prose, it’s fanfic. We don’t expect Pulitzer-prize winning content. And if your work isn’t up to snuff, people are more likely to just ignore it than put you on blast (at least in my experience, I never got a bad comment or a “flame” in the old FFN days).
Fanfic doesn’t care about the rules of published literature
On the one hand, try not to practice bad habits, but with this point I mean that your layout, punctuation, formatting, paragraph styles, chapter length–all of it is beholden to no rules. I get as annoyed as the next reader with giant blocks of paragraphs, or the double-spacing between pages of single-sentence paragraphs, but if the story’s good enough I might ignore it.
There’s more than just straight narrative fics, though. People write “chat” fics, or long streams of text and group chat conversations. The scene breaks can come super rapidly–I’ve seen fics with a single sentence in between line breaks to show the passage of time. And without the polish of a traditionally published novel, I’ve never seen a purer distillation of author voice in any medium more than fanfic.
All practice is good practice
Even if it’s crack fiction, or a one-off one-shot, or something meant to be lighthearted and straightforward and free from complex worldbuilding and intricate plots. It really helps break writer’s block when you can shift gears and headspaces entirely and you can get relatively instant feedback to keep you motivated.
Beyond that, the “guardrails” help you stay consistent as far as character growth and personality if you struggle with designing rich characters.
The most recent fanfic I wrote was just a couple years ago, for a dead fandom I didn’t think would get any traffic whatsoever. It wasn’t my original works, but the feedback on that fic gave me the kick in the butt I needed to get back into writing more seriously.
In short, I support fanfic. I may not be proud of my earliest fics' prose now, but I am proud that they walked so I can now run.
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i4oba · 5 days
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nct dream’s ideal types / MARK version! ✿..
[aka who i think would suit the members :D]
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i feel like, since mark is pretty laid back most of the time, someone a little more.. adventurous? would suit him a lot, just to get him out of the comfort zone
i’m not talking literally, you don’t have to be indiana jones or something, just someone who’s open to try many many new things ? constantly seeking some type of rush from everything New (if that makes sense)
i can totally envision him with someone who’s like… it may sound weird, but doesn’t view themself as “pretty” or “attractive” yk… i’m not talking about the usual lack of confidence tho
it’s just that they never really prioritize their looks and all. i mean, of course they would CARE but wouldn’t think it’s that important
i also think that someone, who’s always deemed as “weird” and “unusual” would TOTALLY be something mark would go for
not only because of the doses of something extraordinary but because he’s interested. you can pique his interest if you say something so outta pocket that would normally cause a few harsh replies
i feel like mark is the type that doesn’t want to be limited, who knows he has limitless potential, not just talent wise but overall, as in… he knows he’s got greater purposes on this world
hence why i said a partner who’s curious enough to bring that out of him—sometimes he can get caught up on work and stuff so he needs Relax time, but not like the laying down and not doing anything kind
the type where you go round and round, finding the deeper meaning of things, such as talking about philosophical questions etcetera
that’s why i partly feel like he would be into someone who’s really really smart. he would love the constant feeling of fascination whenever his partner would say some random, niche fact on a topic he’s never heard of
he’s the type of guy, in my eyes, who loves to absorb knowledge and always tries to do so, which makes place for a partner who’s able to kind of stimulate him in that way?
if you know what i mean LMFAO
i feel like opening up fully for mark, would take a bit longer…? and he would absolutely stay in this “bro zone” kind of situation as well, so someone chill has to be the one he finds
he’s all about keeping it lowkey and if you’re impatient… well, your loss
and it’s not because he’s ashamed of you or something, it’s just that it’s more comfortable for him? in a way? feelings can be a little bit scary sometimes so you gotta leave him to handle it himself
so the keyword here is Patience
you cannot rush things!!!!!!!
especially since i genuinely believe that he… wouldn’t necessary look for love, you know
i can totally envision him just befriending someone and then comes all the cliché, him falling in love blah blah
he’s SO friends to lovers in my eyes, what can i say… falling for the bros is NOT on the list LMFAO and then here we go
but you know, it’s easier like that, and he works sooo hard, he never really focuses on finding a partner, not dating that actively because he’s busy
(i can totally see him panicking when he first realizes that he’s in love with one of his closest friends… he would be Shocked AHAH)
so yeah, developing feelings for him would definitely not take that much of time?? in my opinion?? it’s just him accepting it kinda, you know
being chill and pretty cool is something he would definitely find attractive, especially because, i think??? he doesn’t care about looks that much
he’s the type of guy who’s all about what’s on the inside :) so he needs someone who’s got the same mindset????
that’s a big thing for him anyways.. he wants to feel secure? like he’s not alone!
don’t leave him alone!!!!!!! he’s a cutie patootie, he needs love!!!!!!! even if he doesn’t show it!!!!!!!! he Does need it!!!!!
have so much love for him, be easy going and open minded and honestly, you’ve goz mark lee on his knees :,)
FEEL FREE TO DISAGREE THOUGH!!! this is only my perception of him! :)
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& for some visual representation — STYLEBOARDS! :) <3
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onlymingyus · 19 days
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Guilty (teaser)
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pairing; kwon soonyoung x f reader / lee jihoon x f reader
genre; smut (minors dni), angst, toxic, fluff
summary; you and soonyoung learn that the storm can only be weathered for so long before you need a lift raft to hold on to. but what happens when neither of you reach for each other in that storm?
warnings; cheating, toxic relationship dynamics, car accident, injuries, hospital, arguing, eating/drinking, pet names, crying (from pleasure and sadness), unprotected sex, oral (m & f receiving/giving), fingering, marking/biting, impact, dom!jihoon, dirty talk, less than ideal sexual experiences, i mean...there is just a lot -- i probably missed something.
w/c; 23.6k ( 1.3k and some change -- this teaser)
a/n; thank you so so much to my @onlyhuis for proofreading and being my rock while i wrote this bitch. this one was out of my comfort zone but i really wanted to try to dive into angst and something a bit more toxic with my plot. i hope you enjoy it.
this fic will be released sunday 4/14 at 3 pm est to read it now subscribe to my patreon and click here
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3 missed calls from Soonyoung❣️
Rubbing the sleep out of your eyes, you sigh at the notification on your lock screen, thinking about the number of times you had tried to call him the day before only to get his voicemail. You think about the number of text messages that you have sent as you unlock your screen, looking at the four messages waiting for you. 
When Soonyoung told you about his job opportunity, you were excited for him. Dancing was his life and his biggest passion, with teaching coming in as a close second. The main drawback of the job offer was that he would be gone for a year and be in another country. 
Promises had been made to one another in an attempt to make the distance easier. You both promised to visit when you could and to keep in touch every single day. Things were easier said than done, it would seem. 
Soonyoung ❣️: I got in late. 
Soonyoung ❣️: I know you are going to be mad at me. 
Soonyoung ❣️: Call me when you wake up
Soonyoung ❣️: Love you 
You sigh, laying your phone down next to you after reading over the messages. Lately, they were all starting to look the same. There was always a “I got in late” message waiting for you and a “call me when you wake up" message waiting for you after a day of trying to keep in touch on your part. You knew he was working hard, but so were you. 
Sliding out of bed, your phone in tow, you leave it on the counter as you turn on the shower, letting the bathroom fill up with steam. It wasn’t like Soonyoung would know the exact moment you woke up anyway. He barely remembered the local time anymore, much less your schedule. He had made you wait. Now he could wait. 
Soonyoung knew he should be asleep. He had to wake up early to get to the studio but he was staring at his phone and hoping you would call him. He had checked the time back home at least five times and it was a Tuesday, which meant you had to get ready for work soon. 
Sighing loudly, Soonyoung scrolls back through the text messages that he had missed from you throughout the day. He hadn’t meant to ignore you; he never did. Time wasn’t his greatest ally lately and long days had turned into even longer nights. 
Y/N 😘: Hope you are having a good day babe 
Y/N 😘: Missing you 
Y/N 😘: Hope class has gone well. You are amazing ❣️
Y/N 😘: I’m going to bed 
Y/N 😘: Hope I get to talk to you tomorrow. I love you 
Kicking his legs out from under the covers, Soonyoung knocks his head back against the headboard. He groans under his breath as he gives in to his impatience, pressing down on your name and placing the phone up to his ear to listen to it ring. One ring, two rings, a third, and then your sweet voice tells him that you can’t come to the phone. Were you ignoring him? 
The sound of your ringtone makes you furrow your brows, your eyes closed, as water runs down your face towards your lips. You were almost done with your shower but you were almost certain you weren’t hearing things, especially when your phone rings for a second time. Wiping the water from your face, you rush to get out of the shower, wrapping a towel around you, just as the second call from Soonyoung goes unanswered. 
He had begun to turn over, a scowl on his face, when his phone lit up with a picture of your face. Staring at his phone for a few seconds, Soonyoung presses his tongue against his cheek before finally answering. 
“Hello?”
You could hear the disappointment in Soonyoung’s voice and for a split second, you felt a pang of guilt. You forget about the number of calls that went unanswered the day before as you lean against the counter with a frown on your face. 
“Hey, sorry, I was in the shower.” 
Shrugging, Soonyoung also seems to forget how bad he felt about missing your calls and not responding to your text until late. Instead, he just thinks about himself and what he is feeling at the moment: frustration. 
“Yeah, well, I asked for you to call me when you woke up, but I guess you didn’t check your phone.”  
Looking down as water drips onto the tile, you feel Soonyoung’s words eat at your heart until you remember waking up and seeing your own messages from the day before. You remember listening to his voicemail time and time again, as you hoped he would pick up the phone even for a moment to say something to you. 
“I did check it.” 
Furrowing his brows, Soonyoung is taken aback by your sudden shift in attitude towards him. He had expected an apology and maybe your sweet, comforting voice to lull him to sleep but clearly that wasn’t happening. 
“Oh? So you chose to ignore my messages and calls?” 
“Like you chose to ignore mine, Soonyoung? Seriously…” 
Your voice trails off as tears begin to well up in your eyes. There had been too many days recently that had started much like this one. You wanted to talk to your boyfriend and tell him how much you missed him, how much you loved him, and how proud of him you were that he was living his dream, but instead the two of you ended up in an argument. 
Swallowing hard, Soonyoung closes his eyes as he sits up in his bed, running his fingers through his hair and listening to the sounds of your breath through the phone. He could tell you were crying. He had heard it enough times over the phone at this point to know exactly what it sounded like. 
Now he was remembering seeing his phone light up throughout the day and checking it to see another missed call or text message from you. He remembered promising himself to call you back on the next break, only to get into a conversation with someone and lose track of time. 
Shaking his head, Soonyoung hears a soft sob over the phone as he looks out of his window at the dark skyline of the city, knowing the sun was still rising where you were. He would give anything to be there with you now, to be able to hold you and to make this better but instead he was on the other side of the world and it felt like he might as well be on another planet. 
“I’m sorry, baby. I–look, I don’t know what is wrong with me. It was a long day and when you didn’t answer my brain, just–” Shaking his head, Soonyoung stops to take a breath, deciding to stop giving you excuses. “I’m so fucking sorry. I love you so much.” 
This was the part when you would normally fold and tell him how much you loved him and forgive him. You always forgave Soonyoung because he was working so hard and you knew it was important but you were starting to feel like you were less important. Wiping your cheek with your free hand, you shake your head and bite at your bottom lip as Soonyoung whines your name when you don’t speak to him right away. 
“I have to get ready for work. I love you too. I hope you get some sleep.” 
Closing his eyes, Soonyoung lets out a breath, feeling his heart sink at your words. You hadn’t accepted his apology and you hadn’t wanted to hear his excuses. You just wanted off the phone, and at this point, he couldn’t blame you. 
“I–yeah, sure. Have a good day, babe.” 
The sound of the call ending before you even say goodbye is what stuns Soonyoung the most. Dropping the phone into his lap, he stares at it for a moment, your picture looking at him from his lockscreen before the display goes dark. 
READ THE FULL FIC NOW ON PATREON
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fire-lizard-ro · 5 days
Note
Aventurine with a s/o who is related to robin and sunday or related to dr.ratio
Thank you for the request~ Now this one will be a bit short, so I apologize. I've been having a hard time getting back into the swing of things.
It would defintely be interesting, especially when thinking about these relationships in the context of the events of Penacony. So Penacony arc spoilers for those who haven't played through 2.0-2.1.
CW: somewhat mentioning Aventurine's past, signs of trauma, open ending (wowie not a straight up happy ending from Roro for once whoops ofiejw-), mentions of manipulation?, fluff, anyways it's not too bad I swear-
No mentioned gender for reader.
I decided to go with a S/O related to Robin and Sunday:
I imagine this S/O being a bit more like Robin (or at least what we think Robin might be like). Kind and soft spoken- pretty, too. I could see you having a strict sense of justice which maes you feel conflicted when finding out just how Sunday does his work.
Aventurine loves to take naps with you when he's around, falling asleep against your shoulder while you hum a quiet melody under your breath. It took him some time, but he grew comfortable with that. It was cute, really. He wasn't too keen on touch because of his past and had trouble accepting affection. But somehow, you brushing your soft wings against him when leaning close or when he would play with your hair helped a lot. It wasn't the same as feeling someone's skin on his. The hands of others had hurt him, but he had never felt the touch of feathery wings like yours against him. There was no precedent and this helped a lot.
I can also see him gently helping you with cleaning and preening them when he has the time because he really likes them. He's enamored with the way you purr and coo when he does, leaning down to press a kiss to your head (and sometimes the wings themselves) while sitting with you to clean them up.
Aventurine loves your kind heart and soft spoken attitude, especially since you can be firm when you need to- A little something you learned from your brother, Sunday.
You could understand where Sunday was coming from with this plan. After all, Robin was your sister, too. But this was too much. What you had thought would have just been a simple questioning turned into your lover walking up to the executioners block. You couldn't take this anymore- You had to stop him. "Brother! Please stop this," you begged, holding onto his sleeve with pleading eyes and voice full of desperation. "Now, now- You mustn't interrupt the consecration," Sunday said with a simple pat to your head. "I'm doing this for the good of our family."
You had never mentioned to him how you had once met this charming gambler from the IPC who had struck your fancy and continued seeing him around before eventually dating him.
Aventurine's eyes were wide at your appearance, having hoped you wouldn't get involved with all this. He wanted you safe and out of the blast zone, so to speak. But he couldn't speak up lest he incur more of Sunday's wrath upon himself and perhaps even you. He didn't think your dear brother would do anything to you, but that didn't mean there wouldn't be consequences.
Sunday just thought this was your characteristic soft-heartedness. But something about the urgency in your tone seemed off. "I know you don't like these kinds of methods, but I must do what I must."
He turned to continue the interrogation questioning. "He's my lover!"
The entire room was silent.
"...what?"
"He's..." You swallowed nervously in the face of Sunday's cold, even tone while looking into Aventurine's eyes that were telling you to stop. "He's my lover. We've been together for a while, now."
Sunday's face finally shifted. His once solid poker face that held an easy smile on it broke into a slow sneer. The put together, pretty cherub was now more of an angry seraph.
"You."
"Tried to infiltrate the faimly by targeting my younger sibling, hm? Even using this after watching our sister die..." "No! Sunday it's not like that-" you tried to argue. "Enough," the winged man commanded, holding a hand up. "We will discuss this later."
The man then looked at Aventurine again, snarl still in place. "You have 17 system hours, Mr. Aventurine. I do hope you'll use them well. After all, it's all the time you have left."
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alixra · 3 months
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away game | paige bueckers
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summary- paige is away at a game and calls you.
word count- 1.1k
UConn had just beat Maryland. A much-needed win after a tough loss against NC State.
You hardly knew anything about basketball. But you had found interest in the sport after falling in love with one of its biggest stars: Paige Bueckers. You had been dating her for roughly seven months. And you couldn't be happier.
Her schedule did make things difficult. She almost always had to be on the road for an away game. And if she wasn't, she was either at practice or working out. The two of you found ways to make it work. No matter how much you missed each other.
It had been two hours since the game ended. And you were awaiting a call from Paige. It had become a routine for her to call you every night when she was away. Even if it was for a short period.
Your phone began ringing, and you tried not to squeal in excitement.
"Hi, baby," Paige said as soon as you answered.
"Hi," you said through a smile. "How did your game go?"
"Good, I'm tired."
"You should be. You did amazing," you stated.
Paige's heart fluttered at your praise, "Thank you."
"Of course." You replied, comfortable silence taking over the phone call.
"What are you doing?" Paige asked, breaking the quiet.
"Homework," you groaned, causing her to laugh. "Where are the girls?"
"Oh, they went out. I'm the only one still here."
"Why didn't you go with them?" You questioned.
"I didn't feel like it," she explained. "I had something else on my mind anyway."
"Like what?"
"You," she smiled.
You giggled, glad that she couldn't see the blush on your face. "Oh really?"
"Mmhhmm," she responded proudly.
"I was thinking about you too."
"Yeah?"
"Yes," you whispered, lying on your back.
The atmosphere shifted, going from lighthearted to intense in mere seconds.
"I wanna hear your voice," Paige confessed, her hand resting on her stomach.
"Ok," you smiled. "What do you want me to say?"
"Tell me how good I did again."
Your grin widened, "You did so good. And you're so amazing and so perfect. And so hot."
Paige smirked, focusing on the last part of your sentence. "I'm so what?" She teased.
"So hot," you repeated, your voice serious compared to her playful one.
Paige cleared her throat, her hand getting close to her pants. "Thank you," she said, her voice huskier than before.
It was silent for a little before you spoke, "Paige."
"Yeah?"
"What's the real reason you didn't go out?" You inquired, knowing it wasn't like the party animal to not want to go out and get wasted.
"You know me too well," she smiled.
"I do," you responded, smirking triumphantly. "Now answer my question," you said firmly, noticing Paige was trying to get you off-topic.
Paige licked her lips, "Because I wish you were here."
"To do what?"
She opened her mouth to speak, but her words stuck in her throat.
"Come on, Paige. You can tell me."
"I just missed you," she replied stubbornly, slipping her hand underneath her sweatpants.
"Oh yeah?" You asked, picking up on the way her breath hitched out of nowhere.
"Yeah," she responded. Trying to control her shaky breath as she rubbed her clit through her soaked underwear.
"Liar," you stated.
"How am I a liar?" She replied, keeping up the innocent act.
"Because I know what you're doing right now."
She had now moved past her underwear, her fingers inching closer to her aching entrance. "What am I doing then?"
You smiled, taking your bottom lip in your teeth, "Touching yourself."
She chuckled breathily, "You caught me."
"I did," you replied. Your stomach tightened as you thought about Paige touching herself to your voice.
"Keep talking," she struggled to say, not trying to hide the quiver in her voice anymore.
"Why?" You asked, even though you knew what she wanted.
"Just- please," she whined. The faint sound of her fingering herself is prominent in your hearing.
"Do you do this a lot?" You questioned, giving in to her request.
"Only when you're not around," she responded.
"What do you think about?" You asked, already knowing the answer.
Her breathing was getting heavier now, "You."
"Why?" You inquired, enjoying making her say what you already knew out loud.
She huffed, "You know why."
"No, I don't," you lied, "Tell me.”
"Because you're pretty and hot," she practically whined. "And you have such an amazing body."
"I do?"
"Yes!" She responded, her tone more amped up now.
You couldn't help the way your hand drifted downwards. The throbbing between your legs is too intense to ignore.
"You close, baby?" You asked, now touching yourself too.
"Yeah," she moaned.
You sat your phone down on the bed, right beside your ear. "Hold on a little longer," you instructed.
You moved your hand from your clit to your dripping slit. Too impatient to wait any longer, you slipped two of your fingers inside yourself. Imagining that they were Paige's instead.You let the sounds she made bring you closer and closer to the edge. A few moans escape from your lips as well.
"Fuck," she murmured, aware of what you were doing.
"I love you," you exhaled.
"I love you too," she said, her voice strained.
You slid your fingers in and out of yourself, using your thumb to rub your clit.
She inhaled sharply before speaking again, "I'm gonna cum."
"Me too," you agreed, gritting your teeth.
Paige let out a long groan, finishing. Meanwhile, your orgasm was quickly approaching. You let the sounds of her riding out her high tip you over the edge, a string of curse words falling from your swollen lips. It wasn't one of the best orgasms you've had. But the mere idea of Paige made it enjoyable.
Silence rang throughout your ears as you let out a satisfied sigh. The only sound coming from your phone is your girlfriend's heavy breathing. Several minutes passed, the two of you simply listening to each other breathe.
"Y/n," Paige whispered.
"Yeah?"
"I was just making sure you were still there," she said, and you could tell she was smiling.
You laughed, "I'm here."
"Don't leave," she pleaded.
"I won't.”
"Thank you."
"Anytime," you responded.
Either way, you loved falling asleep on the phone with Paige. You loved the adorable sound of her breathing and how comforting her presence was. Even if she wasn't physically with you, you felt safe and secure.
"Goodnight, beautiful," she murmured, already half asleep.
Butterflies swarmed your stomach, "Goodnight, even more beautiful."
She laughed softly before submitting to sleep. You rolled over on your back, squirming around as you got comfortable. You relished in the warmth and coziness of your bed, thinking about how lucky you were to have your girlfriend.Your eyes felt heavy, and you yawned as you fell asleep, wishing that Paige was next to you.
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dilfprayers · 4 months
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"Happy" Holidays, Dad.
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mini note; this was something i scattered up out of my small brain yesterday but couldn't finish till today after hanging with family. it isn't much or anything special but i wanted to do something festive related ! i hope you all had a great day, plenty of presents and more &lt;3 🎄 happy holidays ! ! ! 🎄
afab!reader x stepdad!leon kennedy tw; stepcest , age-gap , no comfort & more. read at your own risk! your first christmas without your father! however, your stepfather is here so everything should hopefully go swell.
warm, cozy. things christmas was supposed to be.
on this christmas day, you were surely warm but..not cozy. you lay there on the bed where your stepfather treated himself to his "gift" . that gift being, your body.
your cunt was stuffed full of his cock, pulsing inside you while he dug his fingers into your hips. he kept rutting his hips forward, towering over your body as you babbled out incoherent words at this point. -
"i miss my dad" "he would have enjoyed this christmas.. i could finally have the chance to buy him gifts." "tomorrow is going to be so weird without him."
your stepfather secretly hated that type of talk from you — he was your father now, why did you want your actual one so damn bad? he'd quietly send glares at you from behind. you couldn't feel his eyes you were clueless. so fucking dumb you were. had you paid attention, you wouldn't have ended up in this situation in the first place.
-
"oh..c'mon..talk to me. you spoke so much earlier, what happened to all that fucking talk, huh?" "this cunt is mine..so fuckin' wet n' tight for me.." "fuuuck.. why are you so tight huh? you like daddy's cock? yeah?.. yeah you do."
he'd growl in your ear, muttering some more words to you but you were so zoned out. eyes puffy from all the tears you let stream out. your ears still ringing from the times he tossed you around, smacked you across the face for talking back to him. you actually spoke back to him, telling him to back off and how he'd never be your actual father.
and surely, he saw red after that.
-
"leon! fuck off! you aren't my actual father!"
you shoved his hand away from your arm while you stood there, both of your brows furrowing. he was pissed and so were you. how could he try stopping you from talking about your actual father? your heart beat in your chest, seeing your stepdad tensed up like that in front of you. his blue eyes piercing through your soul at this point the longer you went on.
"don't you get it from my perspective? you make me seem like a terrible father."
"step. father."
you correct him before groaning, shaking your head afterwards.
"god...forget it! this is stupid. i only came here to visit you and mom to say hi, happy holidays or whatever. i'm leaving."
you groan , clearly frustrated. he was the only one there anyways, your mother wasn't at home at the time, too busy out getting drinks for all of you but you weren't gonna stick around long. not like you wanted to anyways.
... how'd you get to this point?
you didn't know how things happened so fast. he went after you, shoved you against a wall and took advantage of you there when you tried to leave. he was supposed to be a "father figure", someone who decided to take care of you with your mother after your actual father passed. but this was the exact opposite.
you wondered if things would've been different if you didn't mention your father at all. you should have kept your fucking mouth shut earlier. honestly, you should've. "m'....c..cumming.." you huff out, vision blurring from the tears. you had already came numerous times prior to this moment, legs twitching and all once he flipped you over to your stomach. he smacked your ass, growling louder in your ear. "ah...there's that pretty voice.." hearing him growl and breathe against your ear sent chills down your spine as seconds passed before you convulsed beneath him, drooling all over the pillows as tears came down your cheeks more. you hated this. it made your stomach turn. christmas wasn't supposed to go like this. it was supposed to be heartfelt, something that made you feel better. this just made you feel worse. "dad.." you squealed out, sniffling and whimpering into the pillows while he kept rutting into your dripping wet pussy. at this point, you were completely wet to the point the noises of him thrusting into you echoed throughout the room. you helplessly laid limp there while he used your body, grunting and groaning above you.
you didn't really seem to care, you just wanted it to be over while you felt him bruising your cervix from how deep he was thrusting. he wanted to make sure you felt all of him. or rather, his rage he felt. feeling this made your stomach ache while your vision blurred even more than before, bracing the pain you were feeling. "yeah? what do you need, huh?" for you to stop of course. but you couldn't say that to him, not like you could utter out full sentences or anything. you were babbling, whining...moaning. you name it - but as far as actually speaking went, you couldn't speak anymore. time ticked, time passed rather fast while he continued to make you cum all over his cock or fingers numerous times. he even made you taste yourself, pulling out occasionally just to stuff your drooling mouth with his cock. your whole body and presence was filthy with the actions that went on. "..ahh..atta girl..." he groans, rocking his hips to push his cock deeper into your mouth while you groggily gazed up at him. saliva pouring from the sides of my lips as he face fucks you. you felt his warm cock pulsating along your tongue before he gasped, gripping ahold of your hair and pulled you forward. his cock damn near went down your throat which had you a gagging mess - the sore and stinging pain rising as his seed poured directly down your throat. though, you swallowed regardless despite that burning sensation. your eye twitched as he eventually pulls away from you, sighing in relief. he enjoyed that but you on the other hand, did not. he hummed lowly, seeing you cough a bit and twitch as you laid there. you were sore after all and he didn't really comfort you or anything. no cuddles? kisses on the forehead? nothing? nothing at fucking all.
your head was dizzy and you watched him stare wide eyed, seeming shocked for a moment.
"shit... almost forgot." he reaches over the bed. previously, you thought he didn't get you a gift, but he actually did have a gift for you that he hid but you were so far gone, you didn't seem to pay attention to the gift he had for you as he sat it down in front of you. his tone came off sincere while he stared at you warmly as if he didn't just terribly ruin christmas for you. "merry christmas, sweetheart." merry christmas? right... after this day, you might actually despise christmas day. thanks "dad".
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