#anyways it just happened 2 times today lol!! not nervous about that at all.

[valleyyofthemoonnn]

i exude so much dyke energy ive almost been outed several times 😎 help

#rambles of a mad man #its not even funny the amount of times someone said lesbian and just Looked at me and let their eyes linger #like what the Hell do you want from me man . what have i Done #anyways it just happened 2 times today lol!! not nervous about that at all. #at this rate i feel like i will be outed in the absolute dumbest way possible #but it’s funny so it’s okay

[friedbaekhyunandeggso]

found you - ch. 2 (part I)

pairing: gojo satoru x female oc (ara natsuna)

tropes: psycho! rival! athlete! yandere! gojo x introvert! booksmart! oc

warnings: 18+ only babes, profanity, mentions of abusive parental figure, stalking/possessive themes, death, pet-names (princess, kitten, baby), grinding, fingering, dub/non-consented sex, begging, rough sex, creampie (pls don't b silly & cover ur willy irl), manipulation

word count/plot: [9.5k!] ara catches gojo's attention when news breaks that she is the top academically ranked student in their grade. he is ranked second. he tries to befriend her but she ignores him. despite her obvious disinterest, his obsession begins...

a/n: hi guys so yes, i've decided to make this into a mini-series. honestly i was a bit hesitant to post shi like this bc its obv hella messed up/toxic so pls read at ur own risk. i also want to mention that it is never my intention to glamorize or romanticize a relationship like this-this is simply a dark "romance"/smut story that i happen to write in my free time. i also split this chapter into 2 parts bc it got too long LOL. The second part of this chapter is already written so hopefully i can edit and upload it fast enough but pls look forward to that!

ch. 1 , chapter 2 [ part 1 | part 2 ]

“No. fucking. way.” Millie gasped through the phone, “You had sex with Gojo?”

Ara lowered her phone as she shot a nervous glance towards her bedroom door. It was the weekend so her Dad was home.

She raised the phone to her ear again, whispering-her tone laced with disappointment, “I just told you that Gojo might’ve hurt Noel, Jaemin and Arman just for talking to me and that’s what you're worried about?”

“Wait, you didn’t hear? Jaemin’s dead.”

Ara froze, “What.”

“You left when the cops came but when they searched the house they found his dead body in Nanami’s freezer.”

Ara went silent in shock as Millie continued, “Yeah, there’s like a whole fucking investigation going on. Nanami was pisssssedddd. Poor guy’s probably never gonna throw a party again.”

Ara sputtered, “What-how is that even-“ Ara shook her head, “Is Jaemin really dead?”

“Yes, girl. Why would I lie about that?”

Ara’s heart pounded in her chest. “I-I can’t believe it.”

“Yeah, it’s fucking insane. His pretty face will be missed-but how the fuck do you lock yourself in a freezer?”

Ara’s eyes widened, “He didn’t.”

“He did.”

“No-no, I’m saying he didn’t lock himself in. Someone else could’ve locked him in.”

Ara closed her eyes, fear making her voice waver, “It was probably Gojo.”

“What? Are you serious, Ara.. There’s no fucking way. I get the guy’s into you but that would just be extra.”

Ara swallowed, “Millie—“

“You really think Gojo would do all that cuz Jaemin talked to you?” she asked, doubtfully.

Ara spoke fast, “Yes, he was the one who laced Arman’s drink as well.”

“What? No way. Everyone knows Arman’s took Molly before, he probably overdid it and sent his own bitchass to the hospital.”

“Millie, you don’t understand. He showed me the Molly he used to lace his drink.”

“Huh—Girl, I know you're not super crazy about Gojo and yeah, he’s a total narc but he’s not the type to do that or commit murder.” she stated, flippantly.

Ara’s heart sank.

Millie continued, “Anyway, tell me how the hell you lost your virginity to him because that’s like, major.”

Ara closed her eyes once-more, her brows furrowing, “It wasn’t my choice.” she gritted out.

Suddenly she heard someone call Millie’s name through the phone.

“Shit, my mom’s calling me—“

“Wait,” Ara nearly yelled but quickly clamped her hand over her mouth-eyeing her bedroom door nervously. Her Dad could enter at any second if he wanted to.

“What?”

“I-I need plan B.” she whispered. (a/n: if u don’t know what plan B is, it’s a contraceptive)

Millie gasped, “For real? Jesus—y’all went at it, huh? No condom?!”

Ara squeezed her eyes shut, “Millie, I’m serious.”

“Shit, I don’t know if I can get it to you today. My brother’s out of town so he took the car but-why don’t you ask Gojo?”

“I did-“

Suddenly there was a knock on her window and Ara froze, her head swiveling to see a shadow behind the curtain. He was here.

Ara swallowed, “I-I gotta go.”

“Shit-okay, okay, I’ll try to get it to you by Monday, okay? You better tell me all the details about you and Gojo on the bus.”

Suddenly the sound of the window opening could be heard and Ara quickly ended the call.

Gojo popped his head from around the curtain and stepped out, a bright smile on his lips as he ran a hand through his tousled white hair.

“C’mon, princess—when you gonna open the window on the first knock?”

He had stayed over the whole night since the party. He’d even wanted to shower with her-which she adamantly refused. She just wanted him to leave.

He finally left this morning, telling her some excuse that she didn’t care for—she just needed him to go. She just hadn’t expected him to be back, especially so soon.

He tossed a McDonald’s bag onto her bed.

“You hungry? There’s fries in there. I don’t want em, I just wanted the apple pie. There’s one in there for you too.”

Ever since he entered he kept walking towards her and she kept stepping back.

He went still before raising a brow, “What’re you doing, kitten?”

Her throat felt dry as she stuttered out, “Y-you shouldn’t be here, my Dad’s home. He’s awake.”

“So? Isn’t your door locked?”

“He has a key.”

He smirked, smugly, “I’ll hide if he comes.”

He searched her face before adding, “Happy?”

When she didn’t respond-merely rooted in spot-he tilted his head, “Now let me give my baby a hug.”

Before she could move he sauntered over and pulled her into a hug. Due to her shorter height he had to hunch over to press his face into her neck—planting kisses under her jaw. His hands caressing her sides.

He squeezed her hips while nuzzling his nose further into her neck, “Just wanna squeeze you to death.”

His words sent a shot of fear through her body.

And yet, his intoxicating cologne filled her nostrils—the scent so inviting and rich it was almost seductive. The slight masculine husk at the end of the scent only enhanced its effect. He’d changed his clothes to a simple long sleeve and pants. The shiny watch on his wrist glimmered.

She pushed herself out of his grasp, shaking slightly. His blue eyes attentive as he stared at her.

“I- I need plan B.”

A grin split across his lips, “You’re still on that, kitten?”

“I’m not joking, Gojo. I can’t get pregnant.”

He reached over, placing his hand over her stomach. His hand so large it felt like he covered most of her torso.

“We’re both adults now, aren’t we? We’ll make it work—“

She shoved his hand off.

His grin widened, “You think your tits would get bigger?”

“That’s not funny.” she spat, face flushed, “I need plan B, Gojo—I’m not joking.”

Suddenly he moved towards her, easily cupping the sides of her face as he kissed the top of her head.

“Okay, okay—so stubborn,”

She trembled in his hold but did her best to not wrench herself away just yet. She needed to get him to bring it for her. She looked up at him.

He was already looking down at her, “Be a good kitten and I’ll think about it.” he mused.

He slipped his thumb past her lips and her eyes widened. His other hand moved to her nape-to hold her in place.

“Suck.” he ordered gently.

When she didn’t move, his fingers at her nape tightened, “Or do you want the real thing?”

She wrenched herself away from him. Fear bouncing within her body as she stared at him, out of breath.

His eyes flashed with desire as he stared down at his glistening thumb, “If you weren’t sore I’d fuck you so hard right now.” he murmured.

He’d tried to fuck her again last night. But the second he cupped her cunt, she’d writhed so bad—he decided to listen to her little mewls and whines. He figured she was sore due to the number he’d done on her.

He lowered his hand before looking at her, “I’m leaving. I won’t be back till Monday.”

She was frozen—keeping her face as blank as possible to not show her relief.

He stepped towards her, cupping her chin to keep her looking up at him, “You better answer my texts, okay? Don’t make me upset.”

She swallowed before nodding.

A light smile slipped across his lips, “Good girl.”

He bent low, tilting his face to kiss her. She fought the urge to wrench her face away. Her lips trembled as he pressed his lips into hers—letting him nibble on her bottom lip before he pulled back.

The small smile still on his lips, “Don’t miss me too much.”

She nodded slowly.

His eyes dropped to her lips once-again, his hand slipping around her back to draw her chest flush against him. She fought the urge to wince when she felt his hard-on press into her lower belly through his jeans.

Her heart raced a mile per minute as she looked up at him. She was terrified.

His hand on her chin slid to her cheek, his thumb playing with her bottom lip.

“So pretty, kitten. Too pretty,” he mused.

His hand on her back slid down to her ass, giving it a nice squeeze. She jolted a bit, a slight gasp leaving her lips.

“M’gonna miss you so much.” he muttered, before kissing her once more. His lips more insistent this time.

He finally pulled away, his eyes wistful as he looked her up and down.

“Don’t know how I’m gonna go without you.” he spoke huskily.

She closed her eyes, locking her jaw as he showered a trail of kisses down her temple to her neck. Each kiss making her pulse go faster.

His lips found hers once more, giving her one last kiss before finally stepping back, his face flushed and lips parted—as if he didn’t want to be done. His blazing blue eyes were half-lidded and hazy with lust.

She shivered.

He raised his hand to playfully tap her nose.

An easygoing smirk slipped across his lips, “See you at school, princess.”

She swallowed before looking away from him and nodding. School? How am I gonna face him at school? Just thinking about it made her uneasy.

He turned around and pushed the curtains aside. He easily pulled the window open and jumped out, disappearing downwards somewhere.

She waited a beat before running towards the window. She looked around to see that he was nowhere to be seen.

She swiftly closed the window and pulled the curtains over.

She stood still for a moment before falling to her knees. She felt like a complete mess. She covered her face with her hands.

What do I do?

Everyone was talking about Nanami’s party. Everyone.

People seemed worried, confused and shocked. Especially after it came out that Arman had died. He supposedly went into a coma at first and then his heart had completely stopped.

An unnecessary amount of police officers loitered the halls. They were calling in students-that had reportedly been to the party-to the office. Luckily, she hadn’t been called in yet.

To say Ara felt sick wouldn’t be covering it. She felt absolutely morbid. First, Jaemin and now, Arman. She had hoped that Arman would make it. Noel hadn’t shown up to school either.

The rumors were spreading like wildfire. Everyone seemed to think that Jaemin locking himself in the freezer was a drunk accident. As well as Arman overdosing. Just a bad mistake. But Ara knew the truth. Gojo had flat out told her.

But would anyone believe me?

She frowned as she remembered Millie’s reaction. She had completely thought she was crazy. Even when she’d met her on the bus and she tried to bring it up again, Millie dismissed it—saying that she must've been envisioning things because she was crossed. She even went as far as saying that she would trust Gojo with her drink.

As-fucking-if!

All Millie had wanted to know was how her and Gojo’s night had gone. Ara didn’t even bother trying to express that he’d forced himself on her. Simply just saying that he was horrible in bed and that she never wanted it to happen again. Millie had been astonished.

As much as Ara wanted to be mad at the girl she couldn’t help but be grateful for her because she brought her the contraceptive that she asked for. She was terrified of having waited too long to take one. She had googled it and heard that they were the most effective the sooner they were taken.

She needed to take it as soon as possible.

She stepped out of the classroom, readjusting her bag’s strap over her shoulder. She walked quickly down the hall.

She slowed down her pace when she turned the hall and saw a policeman walking down the opposite way. Her throat went dry.

For a second her mind wandered to what would happen if she just stopped the police officer and told him everything. From top to bottom what happened at the party—Noel’s and Arman’s parents deserved to know the truth. And the students deserved to know that their fellow ‘heart-throb’ classmate was a psychopath murderer.

And maybe she could get justice for herself—before it was too late.

But admitting that meant it was definitely going to get back to her father. And if her father had even heard about her whereabouts that night.. what she’s done and seen…

She stopped in the middle of the hall, indecision making her tense up.

The officer frowned, stopping mid-step before approaching her.

“You okay, miss—“

“Officer Miles!” a familiar, enthusiastic voice greeted from down the hall.

Ara’s heart stopped.

The officer’s face lit up, “If it isn’t Gojo Satoru.”

She took a couple steps back to watch Gojo approach the Officer, greeting him with a pat on the shoulder before effortlessly roping him into a conversation.

It was common knowledge that Gojo’s father was the past Director of National Intelligence for the former President. Despite that, money had always been flooding in his family for generations. Eitherway, it wasn’t unexpected that Gojo knew the cop by name because his family was closely integrated with law enforcement. It seemed not only on a federal level but also local.

Her throat was drier than the Sahara desert as she quickly scurried away—barely looking in Gojo’s direction. She did not need to catch his attention right now-but in the back of her mind she knew she had.

Questions ran in her mind a mile per minute. Did he interrupt the police officer on purpose? Did he know I was considering snitching? Does he think I’m gonna snitch? Is he going to ask me about it later—

She shook her head. She needed to focus on getting to the bathroom right now and downing that contraceptive pill—worry about everything else later.

She entered the bathroom and sighed in relief when she found it was empty. She glanced back to make sure no one was behind her-she felt the need to, for some reason.

Her heart raced as she placed her backpack on the counter before pausing when she realized maybe she should take the pill in the bathroom stall. That way if anyone entered the bathroom no one could see her.

She quickly went into the bathroom stall only for a hand to stop the door a second before it closed. Suddenly Gojo stood before her, locking the stall closed behind himself.

His platinum hair was left in its typical ruffled state. His uniform was perfectly ironed, as usual. His classic black sunglasses peeked out of his dress-shirt’s chest pocket. And his scent, that masculine, deep yet alluring cologne that felt too expensive to be filling the air between them.

Her eyes widened in fear. She was certain he was going to be angry-he’d just seen her almost speak to the police officer. There was no way he wasn’t—

“Fuck, I missed you so much, baby.” he cooed.

He reached out to touch her and she immediately backed away, despite the small space.

Her heart raced in terror. “Gojo, w-what are you doing?”

“What else? I saw you in the hall and followed you. You saw me too—“ he pouted, “but you ignored me, meanie.”

He reached out to grasp her chin, making her look up at him, “You didn’t miss me?”

She could hear her heart pounding in her ears. He felt too large in the cramped space of the bathroom stall. Her body had broken out in a cold-sweat.

Her instincts screamed at her to get as far away from him as possible—and yet, she was terrified to do anything too rash. She was still in shock that he hadn’t suspected her of snitching on him.

Fear made her voice waver as she looked into his intimidating, diamond-like cerulean eyes. She felt like they were going to swallow her whole.

“Gojo…”

His platinum brows drew together at her shakiness, “Yeah, kitten?”

She locked her jaw, hating the concern in his eyes. She was terrified to even bring this up but she knew she had to.

“Arman and Jaemin—they’re dead, Gojo. They’re dead.” her voice cracked.

Something dark seemed to blaze within his eyes before his fingers tightened around her chin.

His voice was tight, “You worried about them?”

She grabbed his wrist, attempting to pull away from his grasp.

“You killed them.” she spat-an undercurrent of hopelessness in her fierce tone.

Before he could respond the sound footsteps entering the bathroom was audible. Her eyes widened.

Suddenly his hands were on her, turning her around so that her back was flush against his chest. Her heart jumped in terror when she felt his hard-on against her lower back.

Just as she gasped, his hand clamped around her mouth. He leaned low, his lips brushing her ear with each word he spoke, “They died because of you.”

She writhed in his grasp, only to easily have her head shoved back against his chest by his hand on her mouth. His other hand pressed into her lower belly, making him feel more of his erection—this time against her ass.

“Don’t make a fuss, kitten, you don’t want anyone to hear you now, do we?” he whispered into her ear.

Her eyes widened as she heard feminine voices speaking a short distance away.

His hand at her navel slipped down to her leg, slipping right around her upper thigh to hoist her smaller frame higher so he could press his throbbing erection fully against her ass.

He began to grind his cock against her.

“Mmm, missed you so much.” he muttered, lowly.

Just as she made short noises of protest, his hand squeezed around her mouth. “Don’t whine, kitten. It’s your fault I’m hard. I couldn’t stop thinking about you all weekend.”

She squeezed her eyes shut, locking her jaw as she tried not to be too loud despite wanting to desperately get away from him. The feeling of his hard-on sliding between her ass was the oddest sensation.

“F-fuck,” he gritted out in a harsh whisper.

His hand on her upper thigh slid to her cunt, his fingers rubbing against her clit through her underwear. She jolted in his grasp-a light squeak leaving her lips.

The feminine voices in the bathroom went quiet.

Gojo froze-only to continue rubbing at her sweet spot when the voices resumed. He chuckled darkly in her ear.

She writhed against him as his fingers worked her clit through her underwear. She bit back the squeals threatening to leave her lips at each of his ministrations.

Her hands went to his at her core, attempting to shove his wrist away but he released her mouth to clasp both of her wrists in one hand. He held her hands to chest.

She attempted to get his hand away from her cunt by squeezing her legs together but instead his fingers dipped deeper into her core. Another low chuckle left his lips when she gasped.

His hand gripping her wrists tightened, “You’ve got to stay quiet now, kitten-since you wanna act so bad.”

She bit into her lower lip when he slipped a finger into her warmth. Somehow she was incredibly warm down there-almost slippery-wet.

She felt his chest vibrate when he groaned into her neck. She clenched her teeth when she felt his hard-on throb behind her. He began to grind himself against her once-more.

She resisted the urge to squeal when his finger slipped deeper inside her. His finger was just too long. Her body jolted when he slipped another in.

“Ha-aah,” he bucked his hard-on further into her, “So warm.” he groaned.

He nipped on her ear as he rubbed his cock against her, letting himself fully revel in the soft curve of her ass. Her breathing was all over the place as his actions made her cunt squeeze tightly around his fingers.

He stopped grinding against her, instead bending lower to drop a kiss to her temple. His fingers moved within her.

“You need some attention down here, don’t you?”

His fingers in her cunt began to pump in and out of her. Her body jerked forward—if it weren’t for his hand pinning her wrists to her chest she would’ve certainly fallen over.

His fingers never left her cunt, only traveling deeper when she jerked forward.

“You know,” his voice husky at her ear, “You never came last time.”

His fingers pumped in and out of her faster. She glanced down to see her skirt bunched up and a hint of her underwear shoved aside for his fingers to gain access to her cunt. His fist was slick with her wetness as he pumped in and out of her.

“Need to change that.” he spoke lowly into her ear.

Her thighs squeezed around him.

Suddenly the sound of the bathroom doors closing echoed. Before she could even think to get away from him, his hand at her cunt ripped off her underwear. Her body buckled at the action but he gripped her hip to steady her.

He then straightened up, letting go of her hip to unbuckle himself.

“Can’t wait anymore.”

Her eyes widened in realization and she shoved herself away from him. She struggled against his hold on her wrists but managed to make him let go.

Just as she moved towards the door, her head was slammed against the stall wall. His hand was at her nape, holding her still against the door. He pushed her head lower, making her ass stick out.

He flipped her skirt up, revealing her bare, slick cunt. He shoved the full length of his cock in her.

She cried out. His hand slid around her nape to her jaw—cupping her mouth. Her body writhed at the sensation of feeling so stuffed.

She shivered when she heard a low, relieved sigh leave his lips. His dick twitched within her.

He slammed his cock into her once more-making her body buck against the door. She cried out into his hand, turning her face aside to reach around and place her hand on him anywhere—in attempt to stop him.

Before her hands could make contact, he grabbed both of her wrists in one of his once-more. Pinning her wrists to her back.

She squealed when he delivered another harsh thrust of his hips to her bruised cunt.

“N-no, Gojo-please-please, not here..” she begged-her low voice muffled by his fingers.

His hand around her wrists squeezed. He bent over her, pressing his dick deep into her as he did so. The tip of his cock seating itself in places no one else had been. She writhed against the stall door.

He spoke right beside her ear, “I’ll keep your hands cuz you’re still being bad.”

“Gojo, please, let me go. Let me go.” she whisper-cried.

“Call me Satoru, princess, Satoru.”

She closed her eyes, tears slipping down her cheeks. How did I get here?

“Please..” she begged, helplessly.

His cock pumped in and out of her slowly. She felt her wetness travel down her thighs.

“C’mon, say it.” he urged, like a devil in her ear. “Satoru.”

She was silent, merely taking in the sensation of his cock fucking her slowly as quietly as she could.

Suddenly his cock snapped into her sharply, making her wince as she cried out. The tip of his cock hit somewhere deep enough to hurt, though she couldn’t deny the jolt of pleasure that ran up her spine.

“Please!” she whimpered.

His hand on her mouth tightened, “Say it.”

She squeezed her eyes shut, “S-satoru-“

Suddenly his cock slammed into her again and again—much, much rougher. Her body bucked against the stall doors. Tiny gasps leaving her mouth with each rough fuck. The sound of his balls hitting her cunt echoing within the bathroom.

“Again.” he ordered huskily into her ear.

“S-satoru.” she mumbled, her mind going blank.

His pace picked up. His cock pulsating appreciatively in her cunt. She swore it’d grown in size.

She moaned, her thighs squeezing together in pain.

“Ha-aah,” he breathed into her ear, his cock pummeling into her so hard she forgot how to think.

“Sounds so fuckin’ pretty coming from your mouth.” his voice rough against her ear.

Her cunt squeezed around him once more and he groaned. He ground his cock into her, letting the tip of his cock touch places that felt too deep for her. Suddenly he withdrew his hips, keeping his cock halfway buried in her before shoving his full length into her again.

Her body jerked against the door again, wincing, “Gojo!”

“Satoru.” he corrected, darkly before delivering a series of deep fucks at an unwarranted pace.

Her mind was too fucked out to think.

His cock moved too fast—too deep within her. Accessing spots she didn’t think possible. His cock felt too thick, too hard-pulsing as he moved roughly in her slick walls.

“How can you ask me to let you go when you feel like this?” he gritted out.

Just then, his cock hit a spot she didn’t know existed. The tip of his cock simply pressing a spot so delicious she crumpled in his grasp. Her whole body shook so hard, she lost all her balance. 

She was too shocked to moan. Simply letting her body quiver as Gojo slid his hand down from her mouth to her neck, pulling her flat against him to hold her up.

He kept-up his rough pace, only slowing down when her body stopped quivering. She was completely out of breath, simply too overwhelmed.

He released her neck, letting his hand slide lower to squeeze her tits through her uniform.

“Fuck, that’s it, kitten.” He closed his eyes, reveling in the feeling of how her cunt continued to spasm around him. The feeling was heavenly, especially coming from the narrow space of her cunt around him.

He palmed her hard nipple, “I made my pretty princess feel good, didn’t I?”

Her cunt walls twitched from the aftereffects of her first orgasm—from anyone that wasn’t herself.

He drove his cock into her once more. Making her groan in pain. Bits of pleasure scattered throughout her body as his cock began to slowly thrust into her.

Her arms were still at a rather uncomfortable angle, pinned behind her back-causing her to arch against him. The angle all too perfect for his cock to continue abusing her cunt.

He pressed a deft kiss to her temple, “I know it hurts, baby, but it hurt too good just now, didn’t it?”

His cock gradually thrusted faster into her, “I’ll keep making you feel good.”

She couldn’t find it in her to speak. Simple too mind blown and worn-out by the overwhelming sense of pleasure she’d just experienced. It was almost scary how good she’d felt.

She winced as his cock seemed to take full advantage of how soft her cunt had grown. Her insides felt completely messed up as his cock pumped in and out of her.

His fingers tightened around her neck before he buried his face into her hair, “Missed you so much.” 

Suddenly he thrusted into her far too deep, searing his cock completely into her. Her soft insides squeezing around him so tight, his cockhead twitched.

She felt the entirety of his cock pulsate before feeling spurts of something warm fill the narrow space between her legs. The substance all too sticky as it slipped down her legs, simply already too full inside.

Her eyes were wide in shock as he slowly thrusted into her a couple more times—letting her feel his cock twitch till it didn’t anymore.

Finally he went still, his breath completely haggard as he removed his face from her hair.

His diamond blue eyes scanned the side of her face before he slowly withdrew his hips from her. Just as his cockhead was about to slip out of her, he slammed himself back inside.

She flinched, moaning.

His fingers on her neck caressed her, “Sorry, baby, don’t wanna go just yet. Feels too good.”

She stood still for a moment. Completely stunned to silence as she caught her breath. She was absolutely terrified of how to proceed.

She squeezed her eyes shut-wanting to sob. He came in me again.

She slowly wriggled her hips, “L-let me go.” she whispered.

His hand on her neck tightened before he nuzzled his face into her shoulder.

“No.” he whined, reluctantly.

He pressed his cock into her slightly, making her shiver. He stayed like that for a moment before finally pulling out. He took his absolute time, dragging out the action enough for the sound to echo in the quiet bathroom when his cock finally popped out of her.

Her body trembled when she felt that familiar substance leak down her inner thighs. She glanced down to see streaks of white lining the insides of her leg.

Her insides twisted at the sight.

“Made a mess, didn’t I.” he muttered before reaching over to swipe a streak of his cum and stuff his finger into her. She jolted sensitively.

“Want you to keep every drop.” he mused through gritted teeth.

She immediately stepped away from him, yanking her hands from his grasp to turn around. She stood with her back pressed to the stall door.

His hands went to her hips to keep her upright as she stumbled.

“Baby.” he warned, subtly admonishing her for moving too fast.

She shoved his hand away, “Don’t call me that.”

A handsome grin split across his lips, “You like kitten better?”

Her eyes widened at the playfulness in his tone. She couldn’t understand how he was like this.

She sharply looked away, not wanting to look at his half-erect cock that he still hadn’t tucked away.

She quickly reached for the stall’s lock—the urge to get away from him growing stronger by the second. He blocked her hand a second before she could touch it.

“You’re not gonna clean yourself up?” he asked before his spare hand squeezed her hip. “Naughty girl.”

“I’ll clean you up.” he added.

She shoved herself out of his grasp. “I can clean myself up.” she spat-unsuccessfully trying to keep the shakiness out of her tone, “J-just get out.”

“Ara-“

“Get. out.” she bit out before whispering, “please.”

He was quiet for a moment, she couldn’t see his face due to facing aside. Her heartbeat pounded in her ears.

“Fine,” his voice was low, “Only if you look at me first.”

She squeezed her eyes shut, resisting the urge to scream. Instead she spoke-even quieter than him, “T-then zip up your pants.”

She thought she heard a faint chuckle before the sound of a zipper was audible in the silence.

She opened her eyes, facing him.

His face was completely devoid of emotion. The only emotion was a touch of softness swimming within his sky-blue eyes.

He cupped the left side of her face, “Don’t be mad at me, okay?”

She resisted the urge to flinch. She wanted to say so much but she was scared-terribly, terribly scared. He could react so differently-it gave her whiplash.

He pressed his forehead to hers, “I just missed you so much. I got so happy when you texted me y’know, but it wasn’t enough. I need you. Just you.”

She hated how strained he sounded, as if he were helpless to his impulses. As if those words could justify his actions. She had texted him over the weekend-her responses short, dry and inconsistent compared to his timely, emoticon-filled ones. She was just scared of what he would do if she didn’t.

Not that it mattered because he ruined her the second he saw her anyway.

“I just like you too much.” he murmured.

She squeezed her eyes shut-wanting to cry.

He pushed his forehead further into her, “Talk to me.” he urged.

Her lower lip wobbled before she burst out-unable to hold back as she whispered, “Y-you’re hurting me.”

His sterling blue eyes widened as he searched her face, wildly, “No-no, I made you feel good, didn’t I? Tell me-tell me what-“

Suddenly the bell rang and his expression grew distraught. They both knew the bathrooms were bound to fill up in seconds during the five minute breaks between classes.

She resisted the urge to shove him back, merely facing elsewhere instead. Her rapid heartbeat making it hard for her to focus.

“Shit, kitten, we’ll finish this convo after school, okay? Or later-at your house, okay?”

She froze at the idea of him coming to her house again.

“Okay?” he insisted.

She nodded, quickly. He pressed a deft kiss to her lips before unlocking the stall door and stepping out.

She stood still for a long moment after that-biting into her lower lip to resist the urge to break down and cry.

She shakily reached into her backpack, pulling out the contraceptive with trembling hands. She hoped-prayed-it worked. Out of all nightmares occurring in her life, she needed the nightmare that was pregnancy to not become real.

She was shuffling around the books in her locker. Too lost in a funk to realize she was already holding the book she was looking for in her hand.

“Ara Natsuna?” an unfamiliar voice spoke from nearby.

She looked over to see a girl she didn’t recognize, but from the aura the girl exuded she had to be a junior or a senior, like herself.

“..Yes?” she croaked out, before clearing her throat.

She hated the once-over the girl gave her. She didn’t miss the look of judgment that passed over the girl's face-though it did nothing to her state of confidence because her father's looks of judgment were much worse.

But she couldn’t blame the girl. She knew her skirt was slightly rumpled after what Gojo had done to her in the bathroom hours prior—and her eyes were probably still swollen despite the countless amount of times she’d splashed water on her face.

She just wanted to go home.

Instead of saying some nasty comment, the girl merely smiled. A smile so wide that Ara immediately saw through its fakeness.

“Are you and Gojo dating?” she inquired, with an innocent blink of her eyes.

Ara was instantly stunned.

It was then she noticed that a couple of the surrounding students were eavesdropping on their convo. Some were trying to be discrete but after one look at her surroundings it was rather obvious.

She spotted the girl’s friends huddled a little distance away, staring eagerly. It looked like a little fan club of juniors-or underclassmen.

Are you fucking serious?

Ara spoke fast, “What makes you ask me that?”

The girl’s eyelashes fluttered-Does that really work?—“Gojo said it.”

Ara wanted to scream-but instead her response was impulsive. Her voice tight, “No. We aren’t dating and we never will.”

She slammed her locker closed, not bothering to look back as she fast-walked down the hall. She needed this day to end.

I need to get rid of him.

Ara squeezed her eyes shut—terrified out of her mind. She’d come up with a short term-very half-assed-plan in the midst of doing her school work earlier.

She didn’t know how she’d managed to complete all her homework but she had. If there was one thing she wasn’t willing to fuck up it was her grades. Sure, she had her dad on her ass about them but it was her only ticket out of ‘here’—aka this hellhole called her family house and now high school. She needed to go to a good college-far, far away from here.

She glanced back at the window before hesitantly opening her bedroom door. It was a weekday so her Dad usually slept early. She peeked through to see her Dad’s bedroom light turn off through the crack underneath the door.

Perfect.

Her heart raced as she grabbed her pillow and blanket from the bed. She knew Gojo was going to try come over today and she was going to do everything in her power to avoid it, if possible. She knew she shouldn’t trigger him—that she should think of a better plan but she couldn’t help but feel bile rise up into her throat whenever she thought of him. So acting on her short-term plan would do.

She just didn’t want to see him.

She stepped out of her room and wandered downstairs. She was going to sleep in the basement. Lucky for her, the basement was furnished but she was sure when Gojo arrived he wouldn’t go there.

At first she had contemplated trying to find a way to lock the window—but it was no use, the lever on the window was broken. She wasn’t sure when that happened but she wouldn’t put it past Gojo to have done it on purpose.

Then she had contemplated sleeping in the living room and finding a way to lock her bedroom door from the outside-but then she knew Gojo would automatically know she was locking him out and she was terrified of what reaction that might invoke.

So she settled on simply sleeping elsewhere in the house-the basement. She would simply lock the basement from the inside and sleep within. She was sure he was going to search the house but she refused to think too hard about it. She almost hoped her Dad would catch him sneaking about. She just had to be cautious of making sure her Dad didn’t catch her sleeping in the basement.

Gojo had called twice and texted several times since school had ended. Giving her short random updates of his day and asking about hers but she hadn’t responded. She wanted to block him but she was scared—too damn scared. She was relieved he didn’t seem too angry over text just yet though.

But she knew she was playing with fire.

She shivered when she entered the basement. The heating wasn’t the best down here but it would have to do. She quickly locked the door before laying out her pillow and blanket on the couch and laying down.

Her fear made it hard for her to feel relaxed enough to sleep. She rubbed her eyes, a wave of exhaustion overcoming her.

She was so tired of feeling scared. First her Dad and now Gojo. When is it all gonna end?

She sighed, sleep overcoming her rather quickly as her mind wandered to dark places.

She hastily closed her bedroom window before falling to her knees. Her legs trembled as she buried her face in her hands.

Her plan had worked. She hadn’t seen Gojo last night—and she muted his messages so she didn’t see the 150+ unread messages he’d sent her throughout the night. But she was scared shitless—she didn’t want to go to school.

She’d set an alarm to wake up before her Dad so she could make it back to her bedroom in time-in case he decided to check on her. She was terrified that she might find Gojo in her room but he was nowhere to be seen. The only thing that signaled he might’ve been there was the curtains being pushed aside. She tried not to think about it too hard.

But it all came crashing down on her when she was trudging to the bus stop in the morning. She had been staring at the home screen of her phone, at the daunting number of 157 at the corner of her message app. She knew who all 157 of those texts were from. It didn’t help that there were about 23 missed calls either.

And she realized she couldn’t go to school. She knew-knew-something bad was going to happen. He’d violated her in school before so what was going to stop him from doing it again?

She started to sob.

The little voice in the back of mind reminded her that she needed to call the school before they called her Dad to notify him of her absence. She’d only done it twice before, but sometimes she pretended to be her Mom and call the school about her absence before they contacted her actual parents.

She threw her backpack off. She was so tired of having to worry about things like this. She felt like everything she did she had to overthink because of the egg-shells she had to walk around with everyone. It was exhausting.

Everything she did could cause a reaction. Like sleeping anywhere but her room would not only upset Gojo but her Dad. Just like taking a day off from school would make her Dad livid. So much so, that she avoided coming back home through the front door because she knew her Dad would see it through the camera.

Why couldn’t her life just be normal?

And now-on top of everything-she had a killer obsessed with her.

Why is this happening to me?

She wiped her tears, frustration making her weary despite her rather pleasant sleep. For some reason, she’d slept decently in the basement-even if she’d woken up in a cold sweat.

She slowly stood up, forcing herself to head downstairs and grab the home phone to call the school in the best Mom voice she could muster. Her Mom was still out of the country. Lucky her.

She plopped onto the couch in the living room. She grabbed the home phone from the coffee table and cleared her throat, making the call in the most assertive, motherly tone she could.

Once the call ended, she laid back against the couch. She turned on the TV for some background noise. The several churning emotions running rampant within her making her feel completely worn out.

She closed her eyes, telling herself that she’d just relax for a bit, only to become lulled into a deep slumber.

The sound of the TV turning off woke her up. She blinked, sitting up groggily as she looked at her reflection in the dark screen of the TV.

She squinted when she noticed a tall, white-haired male standing behind the couch-behind her.

Gojo.

She bolted up, scrambling to the other side of the living room.

His expression was blank as he watched her stand in front of the TV. Her eyes blown wide in fear.

He tilted his head, strands of his icy hair falling over his forehead in the process, “You’re avoiding me.”

She didn’t like how flat his tone was. Or how absurdly imperfect he looked. He always looked perfect but his hair was more messed up than usual, his uniform’s blazer nowhere to be seen-not that he ever wore it in the first place-and his dress-shirt sleeves were rolled up to his elbow, showcasing the prominent veins crawling up his forearms.

He held up her phone and her heart jumped to her throat.

“You changed your lockscreen,” he mused, before a dry chuckle slipped out of him.

He had changed her home and lock screen to a shirtless mirror selfie of himself in her bathroom. An obvious thirst trap. He’d taken the picture the night he stayed over after their 'first time'. She assumed she was asleep when he changed it.

“Fine, I can take that but.. ignoring my calls, my texts-“ another dry, incredulous chuckle leaving his lips, “-you didn’t even open them. In fact, you muted me—and now you don’t show up at school?”

Her throat went dry. She had no choice but to assume he either knew her phone password or used her Face ID to unlock her phone while she was asleep. Eitherway, he clearly had seen that she silenced his notifications.

Suddenly his intricate blue eyes zoned in on her, any humor in his voice dissolving, “Where did you sleep, Ara.”

Her breath stopped short.

His eyes never left hers-his half-lidded gaze would’ve made him appear bored if his tone wasn’t so offhandedly calm, “I know you were home, but where.”

She took a hesitant step backwards.

He took a step around the couch, playing with her phone in one hand. “I know you weren’t with Millie so where’d you go? Did you leave your phone here and go somewhere?”

She couldn’t believe it. He must’ve activated her phone location.

His gaze hardened, “I’m asking you something, Ara.”

She couldn’t find it in herself to respond. How the hell am I supposed to respond to that?

Her whole body was alert with fear. She wanted to run but she was terrified he would outrun her. He was an athlete after all.

She hadn’t missed that the wire attached to the home phone on the coffee table was now disconnected. Undoubtedly, his work.

She needed to think ofsomething-anything to get out of this situation. And because she couldn’t think, she simply acted.

She ran so far down into the downstairs hallway, swerving into a turn into a wall. She was certain he could’ve easily chased her if he chose too but he somehow hadn’t.

She thought she heard a faint chuckle a distance away-probably still in the living room.

“Okay, we can play the cat and mouse game,” his voice seemed to carry into the hall, “but I’ll tell you right now, Ara. You won’t win.”

“I’ll always find you.”

Her body seemed to go cold at his words. She couldn’t go on like this-she needed a plan. She contemplated running straight for the front door-it would alert the front door cameras and automatically notify her Dad of her presence at home.

But contacting her Dad made her throat constrict. It didn’t help that Gojo might be anticipating that course of action.

She trembled. Maybe the back-door? Through the garage? But that meant passing the living room. He could still be there.

She had to do something. She had to try and check.

She slowly walked further down the hall, turning to peek into the living room from the opposite turn of the corridor. He was nowhere in sight.

Her heart jumped in her chest. Her gut told her not to do it—to not run across the living room. She was certain he was near. Her gut told her he was anticipating it.

But what he wouldn’t anticipate was her going upstairs. There was nowhere to get out upstairs. Except for the balcony attached to her Dad’s office and the master bedroom. Then there was her room window.

She dashed up the stairs as quietly as she could. A scream nearly ripping from her throat when she swore she saw his blurry figure move downstairs from the corner of her eye.

She ran into the guest bedroom, before scurrying into its attached bathroom. She quickly stepped into the bathtub, pulling the shower curtain to hide herself.

Fuck! That was too loud!

She silently jumped out-her heart pounding in her ears as she hastily stepped into the bathroom’s walk-in pantry. She slipped inside, hiding behind the pantry door just as the bathroom door opened.

She stopped breathing, watching his tall figure through the crack beside the door. The look of precision and focus in his gaze was unlike anything she’d ever seen. His straight posture exuding lethality.

His footsteps were soundless as he walked over to the bathtub. He harshly pulled back the curtain—making her flinch.

He stood there for a second before opening the other bathroom door. This bathroom was attached to two guest bedrooms.

He didn’t spare the rest of the bathroom a glance as he swiftly exited through the other door. He clearly assumed she’d left through there—and she nearly had, if she hadn’t spotted the bathroom pantry first.

She covered her mouth as she remembered to breathe. This was bad. He knew she was upstairs now. There was no way she could go anywhere.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!

All he needed to do was chill in the main upstairs hallway and she’d reveal herself eventually. That was if she moved.

She squeezed her eyes shut, feeling incredibly uneasy. She couldn’t sit and wait like this. It was gonna kill her. She couldn’t risk Gojo coming back into the bathroom to catch her like this.

She shook her head, staring down at her wobbly legs as she ran her hands through her hair. Think. Think. Think!

In the midst of her despair, an idea flashed within her mind. Something so unlike her and risky, she wanted to puke. She wasn’t sure if it was even gonna work.

There’s no way I can do this. She wanted to gag, but in the back of her mind she knew she had to. It was the only way.

Suddenly-something within her turned off. Turning off the tremors running along her body. The tight feeling in her throat. The mind-numbing fear.

She waited a beat before stepping out from behind the pantry door. She walked into the guest bedroom he’d entered moments ago, her restless heart rate stuttering as she walked further into the room.

To her surprise, he was nowhere to be found. Instead the other door leading out the guest bedroom was left partly open.

She closed her eyes, she knew she wasn’t going to be alone soon enough.

She closed her eyes, “Satoru.” she called out, her voice sounding weak to her ears.

She squeezed her eyes shut tighter, resisting the urge to tremble as her hands shook imperceptibly at her sides.

“Satoru.” she called out, her voice clearer.

Suddenly the aura in the room changed and she knew. She knew.

Her body tensed instinctively. Every nerve in her body backfiring as her instincts screamed at her-telling her this was wrong-downright wrong. Signaling she was in danger.

She squeezed her hands into fists, forcefully willing herself to calm. Forcing her thoughts to go quiet at the pain of her nails digging into her palm.

She slowly opened her eyes and caught sight of the mirror in front of her. The large mirror was attached to the vanity and showcased the sight of him.

He stood as still as a statue, directly behind her—yet not close enough to touch her. His tall frame towered over her.

But his eyes. His eyes are what made her stomach flip flop. He was looking directly at her, jaw locked. He looked at her as if he wanted to rip her apart.

But since he was looking down at her, he didn’t seem to catch her alert gaze staring at him through the mirror. She felt her body tense up further. She couldn’t lose her resolve..

“S-satoru..” her voice a soft plea.

She saw him tilt his head, his eyes flitting closed. She swore she felt his cool breath run down her spine.

She saw him slowly open his eyes, “Why are you saying my name so prettily.”

Despite knowing he was behind her, she nearly flinched at the sound of his voice anyway. She bit into her lower lip-doing everything she could to resist the natural instinct of wanting to scurry away from him.

Her voice quavered, “Because I'm tired of running from you.”

“Quitting?”

Her breath caught. She didn’t know how he managed to sound so cold yet amused at the same time. He always caught her off-guard but she had to convince him.

She hung her head, pressing the back of her hand to her mouth. She didn’t want to say her next words.

She lowered her hand-her voice coming out oddly calm, “What’s there to quit, Satoru.. I’m already yours.”

His eyes widened.

Suddenly he grabbed her hair, pulling her back flat against his chest. He dug his face into her temple, nearly growling, “Then why ignore me?”

She gasped slightly before swallowing. The sight of herself in his immovable grasp in the mirror was doing something to her.

“Because I’m scared,” her voice cracked as she whispered, “I’m scared of falling for you, Satoru.”

She saw his eyes flash with surprise before his hand in her hair suddenly forced her eyes away from the mirror, turning her head up to look at him.

Tears swam in her eyes as he searched her face. His sterling blue eyes unreadable.

A moment of silence ensued before he suddenly pressed his forehead to hers, “But I want you to fall for me, kitten.”

Just as he lowered himself to kiss her, she impulsively turned her head away. Her heart thumped rapidly when she realized she shouldn’t have done that.

She came up with something on the spot, “I-I can’t fall for someone who doesn’t care about me.”

She saw his white brows furrow in the mirror, “You don’t think I care about you?”

She turned around, staggering out of his grasp. “I know you don’t. You don’t care about what I want.”

His gaze was attentive as he stared at her, “What do you want.”

She swallowed. She had to be careful about this..

She took a step back from him, “I.. I don’t want to be a Mother till I’m 25. J-just like my Mom.”

He paused before his gaze hardened, “You want me to wear condoms.”

She bit her lower lip, before speaking as softly as possible, “For now.”

His hand clasped her hip, drawing her close. “I’ll be the one to put a baby in you anyway.”

She closed her eyes, keeping her face down—resting her forehead against his chest. She had to see how far she could push her luck.

“What else.” he asked.

She paused, “I want to keep.. us private.”

He grasped her chin, forcing her to look up. She didn’t miss the subtle disappointment in his expression.

“Why.”

She hesitated before speaking quietly, “I think.. keeping things secret is funner.”

A devious smirk split across his lips as he teased, “Such a naughty girl.”

Suddenly he nuzzled his face into the side of hers. She resisted the urge to freeze up.

“I wanna show you off though.” he whined.

“L-later.” she stuttered out, half heartedly.

His hands found the sides of her waist, easily fitting his large palms into the slight curve. He squeezed her sides before sighing as he reluctantly withdrew his face.

“Anythin’ else?” he asked, weary.

She was terrified of even bringing this up. But he was being.. somewhat understanding right now, so she wondered..

She shifted slightly in his hold, her hands coming to lay flat on his chest before her.

“No more.. hurting people.” her voice wavered.

“What do you mean.”

She swallowed, her eyes searching his before she spoke hesitantly, “T-the party.”

Noel. Jaemin. Arman.

His eyes seemed to narrow slightly, his voice somewhat cold, “That’s not up to me, kitten.”

She tensed, unsure what to make of his words but she was too scared to speak on it further. 

Suddenly his face was nudging hers, “Kiss me.” he ordered, gruffly.

She hesitantly tilted her face up and he took full advantage. His lips kissing hers intently—as if trying to take all of her in by the lips.

He tilted his head, letting his tongue slip past her lips to taste her. The action making her tense slightly but he easily took the lead. His hand went to the back of her head to hold her in place as he kissed her deep.

By the time he withdrew his lips, she was breathless.

His diamond-like eyes searched her face, “I can get you anything in the world you want. Just tell me and it’s yours.”

She didn’t doubt his quiet, confident words. She knew he had access to money like that. But how could she tell him that she wanted him to forget her.

His fingers caressed her hair, “You’re scared because it’s your first relationship, hmm?”

She merely nodded.

A small smile tugged at his glossy lips, “S’okay, it’s my first too.”

Everyone knew Gojo didn’t have to try when it came to girls. Ever since he moved here girls threw themselves at him. Maybe he hadn’t been in actual relationships but she was certain he’d fucked around enough for the both of them.

Besides his long-time fuck buddy, Katrina, liked to act like she was his ex.

She stepped away from him, her face red. “You don’t have to lie to me.”

His smile widened into a grin, his eyes glittering with amusement. “Jealous?”

Before she could look away, he caught her jaw–easily turning her face to look up at him as he said, “This is the only relationship that matters to me.”

He pulled her into a hug. His scent engulfing her, as did everything else of his huge stature. She closed her eyes, willing her body to stay calm and not cry. He hadn’t hurt her yet so she supposed she’d done well.

His hand ran over her hair as he murmured, “I’m gonna make you love me.”

Her eyes flashed open—her heart rate picking up. He sounded so calm, so definitive.. It was then that she realized getting rid of him was going to be a lot more dangerous than she thought.

a/n: wooooohoooo ty for reading this ish if u made it this far. the next part of this chapter still occurs on the same day which is y i didn't wanna make it a whole nother chapter but pls lemme kno ur thOTS or whatnot. ill link the next part of this chapter in this post once it's uploaded. also excuse any spelling/grammar mistakes bc i kinda skim edited this (oops) have a good dayyy ya'll

previous chapter | next chapter

#jjk #jjk fanfic #jujutsu gojo #jujutsu kaisen #jjk oneshot #jjk smut #gojo fanfic #gojo imagine #gojo x y/n #gojo hcs #gojo headcanons #gojo x reader #gojo x you #gojo angst #satoru gojo #satoru smut #gojo oneshot #anime #jjk anime #jjk x you #nanami kento #toji fushiguro #geto suguru #shoko ieiri #jjk fluff #gojo drabbles #jjk drabbles #jjk headcanons #gojo fic #gojo smut

[enchxanting]

our love is god [ethan landry] pt. 2

read part 1 here || all parts

pairing: ethan landry x fem!reader

warnings: light angst, mention of drugs/alcohol

a/n: hey, thanks for all the love on the last part! i promise I'm not churning these out like crazy lol, i wrote the first chapter way before posting it here. not a lot of ethan in this one because we have to flesh out the lore, but i make up for it with some tara/sam angst! yippee!

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“I can’t believe it. I actually can’t believe it.” Chad’s eyes are wide with amazement. “Y/N, at a loss for words? Because of a guy?”

“Dude, I’m telling you, it happened!” Tara said.

I was beginning to get tired of this back and forth. 

Friday nights were usually fun, the whole gang gathered in Tara’s room, getting ready for the night’s festivities (in this case, a house party at the Woodsboro Community College), but today, my friends seemed more interested in rehashing today’s lunchtime events.

“Do you know what his name was?” Anika asks.

“Oh god, please don’t egg them on,” I groan. “No, I didn’t catch it.”

“Hey, he didn’t throw it, either,” Tara teases. “He was probably just as nervous. The dude could barely even make eye contact with her.”

Chad sits up on Tara’s bed. “What did you say he looked like?”

“Uh, tall, really tall. Curly brown hair? He was new, I’d never seen him before. And neither had Tara, so don’t chalk it up to my being a newcomer.”

“Wait. Oh my god.” Mindy suddenly chimes in. “I know who he is. His name is Ethan Landry, he’s in my American History.”

I can’t lie; I’m excited by this. “Really? Why haven’t we seen him before?”

“Because he just moved here.” She grins. “Hey, I thought you’d given up on high school boys, anyway.”

I tinge pink. “Never say never, I guess?”

Chad and Tara whoop. Anika rolls her eyes at them. “Do you think he’ll be there tonight?”

I scoff. “I doubt it. We already have to lie about being college students to get in, anyway.”

Tara’s eyes glimmer. “Hey, you never know. That means you have to get extra dressed up for tonight, just in case he’s there.”

I am not prepared for one of Tara’s evil-genius machinations, especially not a makeover. But I entertain the fantasy for a second too long, and she takes my silence as agreement. 

That’s how I find myself in one of Tara’s old dresses, a strappy black thing that hangs too low on my chest for my liking. After fighting over it for a long while, she eventually agrees to add a long-sleeved top underneath, if only to stop my whining.

Yet even though my getting-ready process was the most involved, I’m still the first one downstairs, which is typical. I’m debating whether or not to run for the hills and go home when Sam comes through the front door.

“Oh, hey, Y/N. Is Tara upstairs?” She sets down a few bags of groceries and turns to lock the four deadbolts freshly nailed to the door. 

“Hey, Sam. Yeah, she is. I think everyone will be down soon.”

There’s an uncomfortable energy between us. Sam has never liked me much. Not because of my character or anything, as Tara has reassured me, but she’s overly wary of outsiders ever since last year’s attack. I try not to blame her, but I can’t help but feel a little hurt when she keeps her distance, giving me a once-over instead of asking about my day.

The tension is broken when I hear the rest of the gang come down the stairs. Sam smiles when she sees Tara, but it fades when she notices that we’re all dressed up. “Hey, Tar, where are you guys going tonight?”

Tara shifts her weight from foot to foot. “My friend at Woodsboro Community College offered us an in, so… we’re taking advantage of our youth?”

Sam’s face darkens. “No. No way, Tar. You remember the last time someone had a party around here? We nearly died.”

“Jesus Christ, Sam,” Tara groans. “You were out of my life for five years now you can’t let me be alone for five minutes..”

I look at Chad, uncomfortable. He slightly shakes his head at me– better not to interfere.. Still, I feel like I have to say something. “Hey, Tara, maybe she’s right, we could just–”

Tara whips around to glare at me. “You’ve got to be kidding, Y/N. Butt the fuck out.” Her words sting, but I step back and sit on the couch.

“I’m not interested in living in the fucking past, Sam,” she continues. “I’m not gonna let what happened to me for three days define me for the rest of my life.”

Sam is quiet. I expect her to snap, to yell at all of us, but she just stares at Tara for a few seconds.

Finally, she picks up her bag again. “Alright. Fine. Go to the party, bring your taser, or not, I don’t care. I won’t be here when you get back.”

Tara’s eyes widen. “Wait, Sam. Wait. I’m sorry, I–”

“No, it’s really fine.” She glances around the room, where the rest of us are trying to blend into the shadows. “I hope you guys have fun. If some psycho killer tries to get you, don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

With that, she marches upstairs, and I hear her bedroom door slam and lock. 

No one knows what to say. Tara turns her back, and I see her wiping away angry tears. Without looking at us, she opens the front door. “Okay! Who’s ready?”

“Tara, are you sure that’s a good idea?” Anika says. “We can stay back if you want, I mean–”

“Nope! What I want is to get so shit-faced I don’t remember this conversation. Let’s go.”

My stomach still feels hollow, but I silently follow Tara out of the door. Anika and Mindy follow close behind. 

Chad takes a second before making up his mind. He grabs his keys. “Yeah, okay. Let’s go, then.”

#ethan landry fanfiction #ethan landry #ethan landry x reader #ethan landry x y/n #jack champion #scream 6 #scream 2023 #heathers au #heathers #high school au

[theteasetwrites]

Spellbound | Part 2

❧ Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Female Reader ❧ Era: Alexandria/Season 6-ish (non-Savior AU) ❧ Pronouns: she/her ❧ Warnings: slight SMUT (mostly just like groping and sexual language, as well as implied smut), mild language ❧ Word Count: 7.5k

❧ Summary: A year later, neither you nor Daryl can stop thinking about last Halloween, when the two of you first connected. This year, you're determined to try to get Daryl to officially come to your Halloween party, and Daryl is determined to make you his.

❧ A/N: Damn it's literally been a year since I posted the first part lol but here's part 2! I always intended to make a second part because there was so much sexual tension in the first one so I had to at least imply they have sex in the sequel... Also this is my first time writing in an AU where Negan and the Saviors just basically don't exist/don't have any contact with our group, so everything is pretty peaceful at this time! I definitely want to write more in a non-Savior AU because it's a lot easier to just imagine none of the Savior shit happened. And also it's what we deserve. Anyway, happy Halloween! I hope this gets you in the Halloween spirit lol.

A lot had changed in just a year, as was to be expected in the world you lived in. 

For the most part, though, everything was all right within the little world of Alexandria, which was becoming not so little anymore.

People came and went, but the walls expanded, and a few new buildings popped up (well, not without the help of the entire community, of course). Life was as close to normal as it could be in this world, where the dead walked and the living feared them. The biggest change in Alexandria was that now people were fighting back, taking the world back from the walkers’ cold dead hands. That was thanks, in large part, to the arrival of Rick’s group, just a little over a year ago now.

Rick’s group marked a turning point in the history of Alexandria, and when Deanna died, the torch was passed to the group’s fearless leader. He ran the place well, not with an iron fist, but with a steady, outstretched hand that kept everyone secure, confident in his leadership. 

By all accounts, Rick’s group coming to Alexandria last year was the best thing to happen in a long time. Most importantly, it felt safer. People were becoming fighters, defending the community from incoming herds throughout the year. And, of course, the walls were stronger now, reinforced with stronger steel beams. In every possible way, the town was secure.

But there was one thing that made you feel even more safe than any steel wall or trained militia—he was about five foot ten, with soft locks of wavy, albeit messy, brown hair, and a broad chest that connected to impossibly toned arms that flexed and bulged with every movement as he replaced the bolt in his crossbow, preparing another shot for you.

You bit your lip absentmindedly, watching him carefully as you tried to focus on his private lesson, but the man’s tendency to wear sleeveless shirts was always distracting, and you found that every lesson with him you’d had for the last month or so had been a little… unproductive.

He grunted as he pulled the string upwards, locking it tight. You’d been through the process several times, and yet you never stopped Daryl from explaining it to you over and over again, just for the chance to watch him do it.

“Now it’s locked in nice and tight,” he huffed, handing you the bow. “You’re ready to shoot.”

You cleared your throat, leveling the bow with your eyes. The thing was still much too heavy for you, though you really did try your hardest to hold it up as much as you could. Upper body strength wasn’t as easy for you as it was for your trainer.

Your hands were particularly shaky today, and maybe it was because you were nervous. Well, it was definitely because you were nervous—you were planning on asking Daryl to attend your third annual Halloween party. 

This time, you hoped he’d actually show up, before the party ended. 

“Quit shakin’,” he said, not with any harshness to his tone, but with the soft, gentle cadence of a supportive teacher. He was always such a good teacher, even if your attraction to him was a little distracting. 

“S-sorry.”

He cleared his throat from somewhere behind you, while you tried to focus on the target, spray painted on the side of the tree several yards away. 

With a deep breath, you closed your eyes, trying to recenter yourself before you shot, though the feeling of Daryl’s hands on you, one on your wrist and the other on your upper arm, stopped you from pulling the trigger.

Oh, God, you thought. He’s touching me again.

He’d done it before, trying to change your position or steady you like he was doing now, but you’d never get used to it. You should’ve known when he offered you private lessons that it would require him paying more… close attention to you, but you still always melted under his touch, becoming more pliable and bendable to his will.

“Just relax, girl,” he said quietly, and you swore you felt the breath of his words against your ear. “You’re all stiff. It ain’t ballet.”

His hands moved slowly, carefully, long your arm, painstakingly adjusting every bit of your hands, wrists, everything. Of course, he didn’t need to do that. Your position wasn’t that bad, but he liked it.

Oh, he really liked it.

When you first told him you were interested in learning to use the crossbow, he had a mind to offer you these lessons, just you and him, outside the walls. Not too far, just within range of Alexandria, but far enough to allow him more time with you.

Maybe it was obvious, but his feelings for you were strong, and hard to ignore. Ever since last Halloween, he’d thought about you in a more… intimate way. He always found you beautiful, but something about the way you looked in that witch costume was enchanting to him. He was half-convinced that you really did cast a spell on him that night, and that maybe you were a witch after all. 

And so when he got the opportunity to touch you a little, he took it, and with every lesson, he became more brave.

“Don’t take your eye off the target,” he practically whispered. He himself didn’t follow his own rules, as his eyes trailed aimlessly up and down your arms, goosebumps forming on your exposed skin from the cool autumn breeze, or maybe it was from him. 

When your arms began to lose strength and you lowered them just a little, he was quick to lift them back up, taking some of the weight from you as he held tighter to your wrist. He knew he shouldn’t do that, but he also couldn’t stand to leave you hanging, and he wanted you to get a bullseye. Maybe he was a shitty teacher in that regard, but he liked that smile and that laugh of yours, so if you shot well, he was sure he’d be rewarded with that.

Soon you felt his chest hard up against your shoulder, and the tips of his hair tickling your neck… That neck…

If he were a vampire, he’d be spoiled. He was in the perfect position to clamp down on it, not with his teeth, but with his lips. His hungry, starving mouth… A year of pining for you, sometimes getting very close to you only for his shyness to get in the way, made him ravenous, like a werewolf stalking the moonlit wood for his prey. 

He was a beast for you, and that scared him, but most of all, it excited him. He wondered if you felt the same, or if his beastliness frightened you beyond excitement. That’s why he moved and spoke gently, not trying to be rough or harsh with you. A powerful sorceress such as yourself deserved that respect.

Still, it didn’t stop him from all but salivating at the sight of your sweet neck, straining with slightly exposed veins as you began to breathe heavily, panting in your anticipation. 

His heartbeat raced, too, and you felt its steady, quick pace against your side. It thumped wildly, exciting you. Adrenaline tightened your aim and steadied your shaky arms. 

“That’s it, good,” he said, letting go of you just a little bit, but keeping his body just where it was. He liked to share your warmth. “Pull it.”

With another deep sigh, you pulled the trigger, sending the newly sharpened bolt through the air. It didn’t hit the bullseye, but it was on the outer red ring of the target, and that was the best shot you’d gotten this far.

Your eyes widened as you turned to face Daryl, who shook his head in amusement. “Oh my god!” you laughed. “That was pretty good!”

“See, it ain’t so hard.”

“That’s easy for you to say, Robin Hood.” You turned to admire the bolt protruding on the edge of the target. “Thanks, Daryl.”

“Ain’t nothin’.” 

“It’s everything.”

A flame sparked in each of his cheeks, and to prevent you from seeing, he walked past you to retrieve his bolt. His confidence seemed to swell for a moment, now that he wasn’t facing you. “So, uh… got any plans tomorrow?”

Is… is he asking me out? No, no way. 

Considering you were hoping to ask him to attend your party, the sudden outburst threw you for a loop, and for a few moments, you stared wide-eyed at him.

Shit, he thought. I’m a dumbass. 

“I mean,” he said, breaking the silence, “I know it’s Halloween, or whatever.” He cleared his throat, fiddling with the bolt in his hands as he avoided too direct eye contact. “Kinda felt bad, thinkin’ about last year.”

You tilted your head in genuine confusion. Why would he feel bad about that?

“Nothing to feel bad about,” you replied. “Why would you feel bad?”

“Well, ‘cause, ya know, I, uh, missed it.”

“But you showed up afterwards. That meant a lot to me.”

“I know, but…”

“No buts.” You trudged forward through the mud, caused by yesterday’s rainfall. When you got close enough to him, you ventured to hold his hand. Any other man, and you’d never want to touch him, but Daryl was different, and you rather liked touching him. He seemed to like touching you, too. “You’ve been nothing but kind to me. It makes up for last Halloween… But if you really wanna make up for it, you should come to this year’s party.”

He smirked, playfully swinging your arm as he held your hand in his. His eyes lifted to meet yours, and he couldn’t help but notice that little sparkle you had. It was subtle, but he noticed, just as he noticed every little detail about you—the gently sloped curves of your upper lip, the angelic contours of your face, the way your hair color shifted in different lights. Everything. 

Others remarked that you were pretty, but for Daryl, that was an insult to the pure, otherworldly beauty you possessed, inside and out. Your kindness only made you more attractive to him, more utterly bewitched by you. It was in the way you never let anyone feel forgotten or alone, and he remembered that feeling from last Halloween night, and every night thereafter so far. You made an effort to make him feel welcome, despite his scruffy appearance and his sometimes aloof demeanor. 

Something about you made him feel safe, too, free of judgment and presumption. Funny—he made you feel safe in a different way. Well, in every way. 

“Yeah?” he asked, looking at your fingers curled around his hand. “You want me to come?”

“Of course I do. It starts tomorrow at dusk… What, are you busy? You got a big date with some girl I don’t know about?”

“No,” he replied quickly, and quite seriously. “Uh, I mean… nah.”

“Good,” you laughed, tugging his hand to lead him back towards the gate with you. “So, what costume are you going to wear?”

His silvery blue eyes widened adorably at that word “costume.” What the hell kind of costume would he wear? All he had in his closet were several black button up shirts with the sleeves lobbed off and a few pairs of tattered jeans. The fact that he was even considering wearing a costume just to impress you made him realize just how head over heels he was. And then you smiled so wide, biting your lip just a little as you looked at him, still holding his hand as you walked slowly, savoring the moment. Walking with his hand in yours was just too sweet of a feeling, you couldn’t possibly let it go. 

“So?” you asked, and he shook his head to get out of his intrusive thoughts.

“I, uh… I don’t got a costume, (Y/N).”

He looked so cute, genuinely concerned you’d be upset with that not so surprising admission. You figured Daryl didn’t have any Halloween costumes. He didn’t seem like the kind of guy to really care that much about dressing up. 

“That’s okay,” you replied. “You don’t really have to dress up, I just thought I’d ask.”

“Well, uh… ain’t you gonna dress up?”

“Mhm.”

Oh, that intrigued him.

He had to admit, ever since seeing you in that costume last year, he hadn’t been able to get that image of you dressed as a witch from his mind. He memorized every detail of your corseted dress, how it sucked in your waist so delicately, and yet so wonderfully highlighted the curves of your body. Of course, he couldn’t help but pay special attention to your cleavage, that low cut collar revealing not too much of your supple breasts, but just enough that he could imagine the rest of you. The hem of the dress wasn’t particularly revealing of your legs, but the sliver of your skin he did see made him a little more excited than he liked to admit. Even that adorable pointed witch hat that sat askew on your head was attractive to him.

It wasn’t lost on him, either, that you had been so… committed to the witch role last year. He couldn’t forget the tone of your voice when you said, “Maybe I’m a real witch… You better watch out.” A simple joke, perhaps, and maybe you were still a little tipsy from the party, but he always wondered if you really did put a spell on him. Not that he believed in that kind of thing, of course, but it was kind of sexy to think about. 

“You gonna be a witch again?” he asked, a little too overenthusiastically. “I mean, just wonderin’.”

“Yeah, I like my witch costume, and you can’t go wrong with a classic.”

He nodded, still loosely holding your hand. How was he to let go when it fit there so perfectly? Still, he’d be sure to let go once you got closer to the walls. He knew whoever was on watch would have some wise ass comment to make. Besides, this was friendly hand-holding, he assumed, even if he wanted it to mean something else.

“I like that costume,” he said. “S’perfect for ya.”

You giggled a little too loudly, then cleared your throat. Control yourself, whore, you thought. 

“Thank you… I was thinking of cutting my dress so it’s a bit shorter, though.”

The sweat from his hand was getting to become much more noticeable, so he pulled it away, wiping it on his jeans as he swallowed hard, nodding nervously. “Y-yeah, yeah,” he stuttered. “Think that would look good. How, uh… how short?”

You sighed as you thought. “Oh, um… maybe up to here.” You reached down as you walked to gesture to your mid-thigh, and his eyes glued there a little too long, though you didn’t notice. “Or is that, I don’t know, ‘slutty’?” You gestured your hands to make air quotes. 

“Nah,” he replied gruffly, yet in that good natured tone of his. “Not at all. ‘Sides, don’t matter anyway. Can dress however you want. Any guys give you trouble, though, I’ll be there to set ‘em straight.”

“Oh?”

Daryl’s protective side always made you weak at the knees. You could never forget that time he warded off some unwanted male attention during one of your training classes. Some guy named Alex had been staring at your behind throughout the session, and Daryl’s response was to call the man out in front of the entire rest of the class, saying,  “Eyes on me, unless you wanna die.”

Of course, he could’ve been referring to the fact that not paying attention to Daryl’s instruction would get the man killed outside the walls, but Alex got the real implication behind the message, and he never attended another class.

“Yeah,” he replied. “I’ll be there.”

You hardly got any sleep that night, both because you were busy baking three dozen Halloween cupcakes, and because that damn man had your heart all aflutter. 

As far as you were concerned, Daryl was like the star athlete, the most popular boy in school, Alexandria’s most eligible bachelor. Now, perhaps for most women in town, that title would go to someone like the tall, conventionally handsome Spencer Monroe, but for you, there was only room in your heart for that dashing, mysterious, ruggedly handsome man called Daryl Dixon. 

Other women did appreciate Daryl’s unique charms, too, but you prided yourself on being closer to him. He was intimidating, you could admit that. It was hard to break through that shell, and sometimes you were sure that you still hadn’t. Hours of talking, though, proved to be the best way to get to know him, and in a lot of ways, you felt that he was your best friend. Indeed, he felt the same way, and despite his aloofness, he found himself opening up to you more than he had anyone else in his life.

What you liked about Daryl was his loyalty, his undying devotion to Alexandria and the people within it. Rick cared about Alexandria, too, but Daryl? He would lay down his life for these people… For you. 

So, yes—your infatuation with the quiet, dark haired marksman only grew with time. A year of his attentive, almost intimate, training had fed your attraction. Still, you hadn’t worked up the courage to do anything more than, say, innocently kiss his cheek when he dropped you off at your doorstep after nightfall, or “accidentally” fall asleep on his shoulder on long car rides to the Hilltop or the Kingdom or Oceanside. 

Tonight… maybe something would happen tonight. 

You were a firm believer in letting nature take its course, so that’s what you planned to do. You just hoped that Mother Nature was on your side.

Three hours before dusk, you were almost ready, except for your costume. As you had told Daryl you would do, you cut several inches off the hem of the dress,  until it reached your mid thighs. The edges were jagged, but you supposed that matched the witchy look. As you tied your corset top, you were careful to… hoist up your breasts until they appeared to practically spill out of your dress, but isn’t that the best part of a corset, the way they make a woman’s chest look? Yes, most certainly yes.

A once expensive choker with a silver chain and several black opals sat not too tight, but not too loose, around the base of your neck. Your hair didn’t need much fixing, as the witch hat did most of the work. You dusted deep brownish red rouge on the apples of your cheeks, matching perfectly with the dark, purple tinted carmine shade coating your lips. The blur of mauve upon your eyelids, sprinkled with a smattering of iridescent glitter, made your eye color seem more vibrant, and your overall aura more… enchanting.

There wasn’t much time to admire your handiwork, as the first guests soon arrived. It was a large group, thank God, but no sign of Daryl, the guest of honor. Indeed, a part of you was already crushed, preparing for the worst. Self-preservation taught you to always be ready in case of rejection, and Daryl was not a man to be easily won, you thought. 

About an hour into the night, your living room was a bonafide soirée. Guests poured in through the front door, now too many to receive a personal greeting from the hostess. You were swarmed with faces, all familiar, but still the face you longed to see most was not among them.

Music was a luxury, and Halloween was the one night of the year that the big speakers were hauled out from storage. Of course, they weren’t half as loud as they could be, but the ever-present threat of walkers outside the walls deterred anyone from turning up the music too much.

You’d found a Halloween mixtape not long ago, packed with the essentials—“Thriller,” “Monster Mash,” “(Don’t Fear) the Reaper”… It seemed to go well. Those overplayed hits were a welcome sound after living in a world where music was seldom a part of everyday life.

Two hours in, and no sign of Daryl. Granted, the party was still in full force, and showed no signs of stopping. Even with the overstimulation of the music and the purple and green lights adorning your home, you could still only think of one man. One broad-shouldered, gruff-voiced man.

“Have you seen Daryl?” you found yourself asking Glenn, both of you cornered as you watched the other partygoers. You figured he might know where Daryl was. After all, he was rather close to Daryl, too. “He said he’d be here.”

He shook his head as he took a sip from his red Solo cup. “No, but don’t worry. He offered a smile. Reassuring, but you couldn’t smile back. “He’ll come. You know how he is about parties.”

“Yeah,” you sighed. In the distance, you spotted Eugene awkwardly shuffling through the crowd, tripping over a few pairs of dancing feet. “I just hope he doesn’t feel—”

“Good evening, (Y/N).” Eugene’s southern accent cut through your sentence, catching you off guard. You blinked and assessed his person—he was dressed up as a cowboy, complete with boots, hat, and a bolo tie. “I trust you are in good spirits this Hallow’s Eve.”

“Hi, Eugene,” you said. “I love your costume.”

“It’s great,” added Glenn. “That tie is awesome.”

“Many thanks,” he replied, then lifted his bolo tie. “Procured this beauty from a ramshackle pawn shop a fortnight ago. The cord is no less than genuine braided leather, and these aiguillettes are really somethin’, they’re—”

“I’ll be right back,” interrupted Glenn. “I gotta find Maggie. Lost her in the crowd.”

Don’t leave me alone with him. “Okay, sounds good.”

“Anyway, as I was sayin’, the aiguillettes are, by my reckoning, sterling silver, with a millesimal fineness of nine twenty-five. Now, sterling silver is most often alloyed with copper, but I believe this silver was alloyed with the chemical element germanium to reduce tarnishing, to which sterling silver is prone.”

You nodded absentmindedly, with absolutely no interest in Eugene’s rambling. Usually, you tried to be more attentive, but your anxiety trumped any desire to seem alert.

“(Y/N)?” Eugene’s voice cut through your haze, and you wondered how much he had spoken before he got your attention again. “You all right?”

“Mhm, never better.”

Eugene smiled sheepishly, and nodded as he spoke. “Well, uh… pardon my abrupt inquiry, but I was itchin’ like a flea bite on a dog’s behind to ask you if you’d do me the honor of joining me in cuttin’ the proverbial rug, as it were.”

“You, um, want to dance?”

“Affirmative.”

Your heart pounded in your chest, not from flattery, but from the anticipation of turning him down. There was no way you were going to dance with Eugene, not tonight. Not when all you wanted was to see Daryl come through that front door you’d been so closely watching. You simply weren’t in the mood.

Still, you were going to have a hard time rejecting him. Eugene might’ve been a little verbose, but he was a sweetheart.

“Oh, well, I—”

Whatever song was being played in your crowded living room became muffled, drowned out by your now faster heartbeat swelling in your ears. Your knees seemed to weaken a little, practically giving out underneath you, but you caught yourself, keeping your composure as much as you could. 

“Daryl…” you sighed dreamily, your eyes half-lidded and glued to the man’s broad, bulky frame as he stepped over the threshold. His hands were tucked in the pockets of his leather jacket, and he seemed to be a little lost as he looked around the room at a sea of heads bobbing like apples in a barrel of water, but if you could make him out right, you swore he looked beautiful. 

“(Y/N)?”

You blinked rapidly, turning slightly back towards Eugene, though your eyes remained on Daryl. You couldn’t help it—you needed to keep track of him, make sure you didn’t lose him in the crowd. “Yeah?”

Eugene followed your gaze, though he didn’t see your target until that very target laid eyes on you. 

Daryl was a hunter, after all. He knew how to find his prey. 

You lifted your hand eagerly to wave to him, and his step moved faster, more confident now that he found you. 

Eugene’s presence soon faded away from you, though he still stood beside you, petrified. Few things were as intimidating as Daryl Dixon on the prowl, and for the squeamish Eugene, he had always tried to steer clear of the famously hot headed archer. 

And if Daryl’s passing disapproving glances at Eugene were anything to go, he needed to get away from you before he unwittingly made an enemy.

“I—I’m gonna fetch myself a refill,” he said, shakily holding up his cup to demonstrate. You nodded at his empty words, completely meaningless to you now, as he quickly turned himself around and hurried off to the kitchen. 

By the time Daryl reached you, you were alone, smiling wide and holding out your arms to hug him. It caught him off guard for a moment, causing him to let out a brief grunt, but when you kissed his cheek, this time a little longer than you had done in the past, he melted in your arms. 

“You made it,” you said, squeezing both his shoulders. “I almost thought you weren’t going to show up.”

His smile faded a little—he hates to keep you waiting. “Sorry, I…” 

Got nervous and spent an hour tryin’ to figure out what to wear, he would’ve said if he felt like being particularly bold. 

“Don’t be sorry,” you said. “You’re here now. That’s what matters to me.”

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

And that was true—he might not have liked parties that much, and Halloween more or less meant nothing to him, but seeing you in that costume, and being there knowing that his presence was important to you, that made all the difference. 

The party went off without a hitch, going into the wee hours of the morning, long after it had ended last year. The only alone time you would get with Daryl came in the form of him helping you up the stairs, guiding you to the bathroom, as you were a little too tipsy to get there yourself. Well, you insisted that you could, but Daryl wasn’t convinced.

“I’m fine!” you laughed, being dragged up the stairs by Daryl. 

“What if ya break your neck or somethin’?” he asked. “ Ain’t havin’ that.”

You smiled wide as he held the bathroom door open for you, then began pulling it closed. “I’ll be out here.”

“No, wait,” you said, holding the door open with your body weight. “Could, you, um… come in with me?”

He furrowed his brow, slightly amused at the sight of you pouting in your witch hat and getup. “Why?”

Oh, you thought. I hadn’t thought of that. 

In all honesty, you hadn’t thought it through at all. Perhaps your slightly inebriated mind just wanted to be absorbed in Daryl’s presence for as long as you could. After all, you were clinging to each other’s sides all night since he arrived, why not? And maybe, just maybe, you wanted a true, private moment with him. Maybe nature would take its course this time.

“I—I… What if I fall off the toilet?”

He shook his head and laughed under his breath. “So ya don’t need my help up the stairs but ya need my help goin’ to the bathroom?”

You realized how stupid it sounded then, and quickly shook your head to try to will the situation away. “Never mind,” you said. “Sorry, that was weird.”

With your hand guiding the door closed, he held it open. His face was more serious now, and yet still a bit shy. “I’ll come in.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, don’t want ya fallin’ off the toilet.”

You didn’t fall off the toilet.

He kept his back turned, shuffling his feet and fiddling with his fingers as he averted his eyes from you as you relieved yourself. When the sound stopped, he asked, “Are ya decent?”

“Mhm.” You stood shakily, turning to flush the toilet. Daryl turned, too, eyes widened to realize that your dress was covering you completely, but your panties were pooled around your ankles. “Uh, (Y/N)?”

“Hm?”

He pointed to your feet. “Your, uh…”

Following his pointed finger, you laughed loudly as a blush formed across your nose and cheeks. “Oh, God. Sorry.”

He’d be lying if he didn’t take the opportunity, short-lived as it was, to study your underwear, as he’d sometimes imagined what kind you wore. Tonight it was different than usual, intended to match your costume—black with a floral lace print. Simple, but enough to cause a dizziness in his head. 

As you bent down to pull them back up, he caught a glimpse of your cleavage, just barely spilling out of your corset dress. He internally begged you to straighten up, but you took your time, adjusting your boots, too. 

When you finally stood back up, you sighed and crossed over to the sink to begin washing your hands. Daryl looked on, keeping an eye on you, just in case you fell, or something (though he doubted that would happen). 

“Hey,” you said, soaking your hands under the water, “we haven’t had a moment alone yet. I mean, it’s nice. We can talk.”

He leaned against the bathroom door, chewing on his bottom lip. “Talk about what?”

You shrugged. “I don’t know… Just talk. About anything.”

Maybe now you were going against your own philosophy. Maybe your desire for him was preventing Mother Nature from doing her job, but you couldn’t help it. He looked lovely tonight, with a particular glow about him. He dressed much in the same way he always did, but his hair fell in the most beautiful way, and his lips were somehow shiny in the reflection of the twinkly lights (little did you know he’d been constantly licking his lips that night out of nervous habit). 

Most of all, he made the effort to set his dislike of parties aside to be with you. Well, you hoped that, maybe, he wanted to be with you. After all, there wasn’t much else Daryl did that night except hang around you.

“Well, uh… Thanks for invitin’ me,” he finally said, after several moments of chewing his lip and not knowing how to speak without accidentally spilling every last intrusive thought he had about you. “I’ve been havin’ a good time.”

Just Daryl saying that he was enjoying the party was enough to nearly bring a tear to your eye. He was so sweet without even trying. Some men put on a facade, not Daryl—he was sweet through and through. 

“Me too,” you said, now wiping your hands on the towel. “I wasn’t really having a good time until you showed up, to be honest.”

“Really?”

“Mhm… Actually, I was sort of just waiting for you.”

He scoffed at the thought, though it made him feel all warm and fuzzy inside. “Waitin’? For me? Why would you wait for me, girl? I ain’t gonna make or break your party.”

Lifting yourself to sit atop the bathroom counter, you peeled off your hat, revealing the frizzy top of your head. You quickly reached up to fix it, but Daryl rather liked it slightly messy. He wondered just how messy it could get.

“Well, you just mean a lot to me, Daryl. That’s all.” It wasn’t all. It was a whole lot more than that. “Halloween doesn’t even matter that much to me these days. I think… maybe since last year, when you came over after the party, I was looking forward to tonight, just to see you again.”

“You see me almost everyday.”

“Yeah, but… That night felt different to me, you know? Kind of just wanted it to feel that way again. And it does. So I’m happy.”

Despite your words, you frowned and hung your head, hands folded in your lap. You weren’t sure where the sudden wave of sadness came from. Maybe it was your fear of rejection showing its ugly head again, but when Daryl stepped forward, taking your hand in his, you looked up at him, standing before you with that beautiful little smile on his face.

It wasn’t a big smile. It was close-mouthed and crooked, but it was beautiful to you. It meant the entire world to you. 

“What’s wrong?” he asked. “Why d’ya look so sad? Thought you were happy.”

“I am happy, it’s just… I don’t know. It’s stupid.”

He shifted closer to you, holding your other hand now, too. His thumbs busied themselves with brushing the outsides of your hands, almost massaging them. The skin was soft, warm, and smooth. He was almost afraid of marring your beautiful flesh with his calloused fingers, but at least it would be some way of leaving his mark on you.

“Ain’t nothin’ you could ever think or say would be stupid to me,” he said. “You can tell me anythin’, just so long as I get to hear your voice.”

Well, how were you not going to tell him now?

Besides, it was hard to resist those eyes of his, deep set and somehow a subtle, intense blue. How could his eyes be so soft, and yet so penetrating? Everything about Daryl was an enigma to you, and yet you still felt you understood him so well, all his little quirks and idiosyncrasies, all his beautiful ways of speaking and feeling and being. Sometimes, you ventured to think you knew him better than anyone else, and maybe that was because he showed you a different side to him he rarely showed to anyone else, even to Rick or Carol. What he showed you was his heart, and though you couldn’t yet be sure if he would give you his heart, you hoped he’d at least consider it.

“You… like hearing my voice?” Of course, you were stuck on that line.

He swallowed hard. Shit, did I say that out loud? No avoiding it now.

“Yeah. I do. A lot.”

Funny. You liked hearing his voice too, so much so that you tried to memorize it as best you could, in case you needed to hear it just to get through the day. 

Your wide smile betrayed your flattered state, and he continued to speak, emboldened by your apparent appreciation. 

“Still think you’re a real witch or somethin’.” He took your pointy hat and firmly, yet delicately, placed it back on your head, to which you let out a giggle. He was sure to prop up the brim, ensuring the beauty of your face was on full display. 

The glimmer of your eyeshadow was intoxicating to him, and though he didn’t know the first thing about makeup, the way those colors blended together on your face was nothing short of magical. 

“Why?” you asked.

You hadn’t even noticed until you felt his thigh brush against yours, but his body was positioned right between your legs now, and the heat of him was radiating beneath your dress. You’d never felt him like this before, not between your legs. It caused you to bite your lip until you felt the skin just begin to break. 

“‘Cause ya put some kinda spell on me.”

He spoke so seriously that you couldn’t tell if he was joking, but he definitely wasn’t. “Oh…” You cleared your throat, fully intending to assume the role of the witch. “Yes, yes, I did. I performed a love spell at my altar with a lock of your hair.” You let go of one of his hands to curl a strand of brown, wavy hair around your finger. Your perfume wafted around his nose, allowing the sweet scent of patchouli and rose to linger there. He moved closer to smell more of it, until his crotch was fully pressed against yours, and there was no doubt about it—he felt lovely there. “I like to dance naked in the moonlight, too. Is that what you think of me, Daryl?”

His eyes trailed up and down your body, getting lost in the low-cut bodice of your dress. Noticing his infatuation, you pressed your chest to his. Being this close to him was enough to raise goosebumps all over your skin, even under your long sleeves. How could you feel so warm, and yet so cold?

“Nah,” he replied, though he had to admit, now that you mentioned it, he was imagining you wildly flailing your limbs as you danced under the cool white light of the moon, with your nude breasts beating together and your thighs spreading apart to jump over the fire around which you danced…

Perhaps he’d find you like that, after many long hours on his hunt. You’d hold your hand out to him, inviting him to rid himself of his filthy clothes and move his weary body with yours until you both fell clumsily, yet somehow intentionally, to the ground, writhing underneath each other until he found his way on top of you, or maybe you found your way on top of him, riding him into the night like a witch on her broomstick. 

Little would he know that you had called him there, using your sorcery to guide him exactly where you wanted him. And now, you had him exactly where you wanted him, for real.

“Don’t worry, I’m a good witch,” you said, tightening your legs around him. He wasn’t going anywhere now, not when he dared to look at you like that—like he was about to devour you. The veins protruding in his thick neck made him look as though he was about to turn into some kind of wild beast, driven by primal instincts. “I promise… But I could be a bad witch, too… If you want.”

His hands had somehow found your hips, gripping them tight as his resolve began to crumble. How was he going to resist you now? He couldn’t, he simply couldn’t. Not that he wanted to, anyway.

“That depends,” he said, his voice somehow soft and quiet, but gruff and demanding. “What does a bad witch do?” 

He tried not to think, to shut off his brain for a moment while he was between your legs. If he thought too much now, his shyness would take over, and he’d ruin this moment he’d dreamed of for so long.

“Lots of things,” you laughed. “Let me show you.” Your hands were practically tugging at his broad, firm shoulders now. The muscles underneath were so tense, so rigid and begging to be caressed, so you did, gently kneading them until they became just a little more loose. 

He let you pull him further until his forehead rested against yours, and he was already groaning under his breath, desperate to taste your mouth. 

You moved slowly, though, a little too slow for him at this moment, and he couldn’t keep himself from grabbing your hips more roughly now, until your arms had no choice but to flail around his neck and your lips crashed against his. 

Your whimper of surprised bliss was devoured by his mouth, just as your tongue felt his swirling around it, extending deep into your mouth until you swore there was more of his saliva in you than your own. 

In his insatiable lust, he gripped your thighs to spread them further, allowing more of him to get between your legs. Soon the skirt of your dress was completely hoisted up, allowing him to once again see your panties, and in the see-through spaces of the lacy pattern, he caught a peek of your hair, and your slit, and he couldn’t even stop his own hand from reaching there, cupping your mound so hard that you squirmed and yelped into his mouth. The pressure of his palm was so perfect on your clit, and not even the muffled sound of the loud music booming downstairs could distract you from that intense, shivering feeling.

“Oh!” you yelped, your lips now separated from Daryl as you threw back your head. “Daryl!” 

Your exposed neck was calling to him, those muscles flexing and veins protruding as you tried to keep your voice down. He could tell how much blood was rushing to your head, and the vampire in him compelled him to latch his lips to your supple neck. He didn’t dare bite you too hard, but his teeth nearly broke the skin. 

“Ah!” you cried out, your fingernails etching shapes into his leather-clad back. “Oh…”

Your moans began to shiver the tighter he held onto you, as his mouth left marks wherever it could, with the hope they would last long enough to prove who you belonged to.

You’d never known Daryl like this, so passionate. It was another side to him, and you quite liked it. “Daryl… I…”

He let out a deep, animalistic grunt as he pulled his lips away, only to crash them back down on yours. He tasted the wine on your tongue, though he was already drunk just off your taste alone. 

His hand rubbed up and down the outside of your panties until he could feel the pooling of your arousal underneath. It made him harder, just knowing that your body was preparing itself for him. 

His fingers clumsily tugged at the crotch of your panties, urgently trying to get to your entrance. “Wait,” you panted against his lips, holding his hand steady. You closed your eyes and leaned against his forehead. “Daryl…”

Breathless, he softly kissed your lips once more. “What’s wrong?” he asked. “Are ya scared?”

In truth, you were, just a little. This new side of him was thrilling, and you loved it, but there was no way you could continue in good conscience, not while there were guests still downstairs. 

You smiled and bit his lip, pulling it towards you until you let it go. “A little.” Your hands retreated to his strong, broad chest, rubbing up and down the smooth leather of his vest. “I’ve never seen you like that before. You turned into a beast.”

He scoffed, but his cheeks became deeply blushed. “Ya do things to me.”

As you let his hand return to your crotch, his fingers drew slow circles over the wetness. “You do things to me, too,” you said. “And I’m not really scared, Daryl, it’s just… my party. I’d feel more comfortable if we were completely alone.”

He nodded in agreement. He had to admit that this wasn’t exactly the way he wanted to make love to you for the first time. “What about when they all leave?” he asked. “I can… stay and help ya clean up, like last time.”

His hand moved a little faster, now concentrated on your clit, and you squirmed in his arms with a long, blissful sigh. “Can you wait that long?” you asked, though you were honestly asking yourself that same question. 

“I’d wait forever for you.”

With another kiss, you left the restroom first, fixing your askew witch hat and heading downstairs as if nothing happened. Daryl stayed in the bathroom, adjusting himself. He had half a mind to relieve himself completely, but he wanted to save whatever he had in him for you. 

It took great self-discipline not to shut down the music and begin ushering everyone out of your house, but you were sure to be a good hostess, as you always were. When the last few people left, you didn’t even hear Daryl’s footsteps come up behind you. He moved like a hunter. After all, he was one, and you were his prey.

He lifted the brim of your hat to throw it somewhere behind him. With his lips latched to your neck again, you smiled and leaned back into his touch. 

“You still gotta work some of your magic on me,” he mumbled against your shoulder. 

“I thought we were going to clean?” you giggled, feeling him pull you backwards towards the stairs. 

He grunted as he turned you around, hoisting you up by the back of your knees. You were slightly terrified he’d drop you, but Daryl’s arms were so strong. So very, very strong.

“Nah,” he said, carrying you up the steps. “We’re gonna make a mess.”

Indeed, no cleaning was done that night. 

~

Thanks for reading! Likes, reblogs, and comments of any kind are always appreciated!

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[the-fly-on-bangchans-wall]

ok author-kairo is back!

this is another chapter of There’s No Way for all of you <3

i also didnt proofread this so pls dont mind any grammar/spelling/other mistakes lol

chap. 2:

a/n: i dont really know anything about college so please forgive me if this is slightly inaccurate 😭

You wake up at a solid 6 A.M., slipping into a comfortable but stylish top and cargo pants. This is your first day of university, first day of music college. You take a deep breath-why am I nervous?-and slip on your schoolbag, having packed it with everything you need for today last night. Getting in your car, you turn the music to your favorite playlist, nodding your head to the beat as you hype yourself up for the day. Taking a detour to the nearest café that was open, you went inside and nodded respectfully to the young man behind the counter.

His name was Niki, he had told you, and he was strangely comforting. Maybe it was because he always worked the morning shift when you stopped by the café almost every morning, around 6:30-7:00 A.M. You took comfort in things that were steady and unchanging, so Niki was a welcomed acquaintance. Handing him some money (he had taken your order enough times to know what you were getting) he smiled at you as you received your cup of black coffee with half-and-half cream.

“I’ve got my first day of uni today, I do,” you say, meeting his curious gaze.

Niki tilted his head. “Really? Where do you go?”

“Seoul National. I heard they had a really good music program, so that’s where I’m going.” You snorted. “I actually didn’t think I’d get in.”

“I bet you could get into any university you set your mind to. Anyways, good luck at uni!” Niki smiled one more time before turning back to the counter; another customer had walked in. You took your coffee and got back into your car. Taking a deep breath, you looked over your schedule for the millionth time and started driving out to the university’s campus, blasting your music along the way.

It looked like you’d gotten to the classroom early, because only one other person was there. She was really pretty, you thought to yourself, with black hair in a neat wolfcut. She was currently scrolling on a laptop, but when you pushed the door open, she looked up, studying your features before offering a small smile.

“Hey, you! Come sit over here.” She instructed, patting a spot to the left of her. You felt almost compelled to do so, setting your bag on the table and sitting in the chair she’d pulled over.

“What’s your name?” she questioned.

“y/n l/n. What’s yours?”

“I’m Ryujin. You’re also here for music, hm?” You nodded in response. “Cool! I’m kinda new to this but I’ve been told I have a knack for it. How about you?”

You shrugged. “It used to be a hobby, but I wanted to take it further…I think I could be really good at it, if I learned some more techniques.”

Ryujin nodded. She seemed like a really good friend-she was listening to your every word even though you’d just met her. She made you subconsciously comfortable with her. You and the raven-haired girl made some small talk, learning more about each other while students filled up the seats. There were only a few seats in the back left, and you stopped mid conversation to stare in horror.

Bang Chan was at your university.

Bang Chan was at your university?

What. is. happening? You thought he wouldn’t know! Besides, why would he even have an interest in music? The devil boy met your gaze, smirking when he saw the flabbergasted expression on your face, and sat down in the back, two rows directly behind you. Great, now you’d feel like he was staring at you the whole class. The thought made you nervous. Wait, why are you nervous? He’s your enemy, not a crush or anything. There’s no way he’d be your crush, anyways, according to him you’re too ugly. You just hoped maybe he’d leave you alone for university.

a/n: should i make my chapters longer? idk if theyre too short rn 😭

#bang chan x female reader #bang chan x y/n #bang chan x reader #bang chan #skz x y/n #skz x reader #skz #stray kids x reader #stray kids

[redraven3093]

catching up to Philza Minecraft Qsmp Streams Vod

30th June ya'll I've been sleeping my days off these past few days after the exam cause my body just crashed down

I have missed so much shits on the QSMP stuff holly hell the fuq happened

anyway LETS START WHOO

Welcome home PHILL

oh hey the Flower Fall shirt looks cool

dadza had been rambling about space

QSmp time

so many Flower creatures

KELP will HELP

dadza isn't sure about the slogan

LOL Forever

CHAYANNE AWAKE

AWW CHAT

ma boi I miss yu

TALLULAH WAKE UP

the"sir" stuff is Tallulah's admin right?

TALLULAH BABY HOW ARE YOU

Tallulah will get the whole solar system at this point

Chayanne shrine

AW NO TALLULAH

Holly that is so many Chayanne

the Crows love his son

Tallulah BACK!

WHALE WATCHING?!

AW TINNY TALLULAH WITH THE SAMBRERO

Chayanne and Chayanne

ah so they cloned themselves

oh god what happened

YEAH Ramon Saved the day such a good little hero

Chayanne why?-yeah that's fuq up

WHY ARE YOU KIDS WANT TO SEE A CROCODILE

?

did they fight a crocodile before???

don't use shaders kids

use you dragon magic kids- HE'S HERE

dangerous mission

omg Tallulah noo

yeah scold her Chayanne

magical trip

oh shit he's invis

nooo Ramon it's not drugs

EYYY he's HERE

Kids get up

oh, Mike had a barber?

wait why would Fit go to a barber?

ugh sea mission is scary

Ramon we don't kill whales they are endangered

"There is no shame in leaving" thankyou Fit

yes Ramon Pls you all in one life

Chef Chayanne lets gooooo

oh yeah good idea Tallulah safety first

Oh shit Chayanne didn't have one

Shave it off??

Noodle Soup!!! i want noodle soup today

oh god wat happened in the debate??

don't jinx us phill

ahh so Phil is in team Foolish-Phil noooo

I like that the kids always go for the trampoline first

HELLO MINECRAFT PHILLZA WE READY FOR ADVENTURE MINECRAFT PHLIZA

nervous abluoeto-RAMOOOONNNNN

what is there a TNT canon-wait Ramon-wait Chayanne-kidsss-oh shit-oh okay thank goodness-OMG KIDSS- CHAYANNE-OMG TALLULAH

good lord, I'm aging-omg Phill

oh no the solar system is here

bunch of manly men with boats

clean coal

boat timeee

oh shit the WHALE-DRIVEEE-Oh shit-omg these kids are killing me-oh shit CHAYANNE-oh noo TALLULAH

yeah two whales is enough

okay get cooking Chayanne

did ramon just trows away a tusk???

RAMOONN NOOO

waiting on Tallulah

its revenge for Baghera???

oh nooooo the whale

HOLLLY SHIT THE JUMP

omg

the Whale was gunning for it

ITS BEEN SO LONGGGGG

TALLULAH YOU BACK SWEETIE

either her or the whales

ohhhh Seafood menuuu

the trick to defeat the monument

ohh the seaside stuff had been decorated

off to the monument we go

ok here we go-ramon with the bomb-you two old men shut up-milk squid?

omg Fit is an Alpha and Phil is a Beta-someone pls shot me

Ramon works fast-creepy ghost fish-yey Phill killed em

things have been pretty smooth so far

OMG RAMON NO

Mission donee

HAIR CUT TIME

emotional support for the bald man lets go

wat? a giant squid?

lol Phil has trauma taking care of more than 2 eggs

HI CELLBIT

Fit and Ramon is a dangerous dad and son duo

Yummy~~~

WAT!!!! oh shit-

THAT IS OK CELLBIT

HI RICHA

really love the kid-ah of course burning village

another VIDCON TRIP in French

ohh a NEW video Game made by Cellbit pog

OMG RICHA HAPPY BIRTHDAY

oh no scarey barber

Dollified Richa

oh no the bike-Phil is taking revenge on Mike

Holly hell they fast ZOMING

wat?-OMG OH SHIT-that's the train? so cool

Hi mike hi Pac-OH GOD THEIR HAIR

YAEH PEER PRESURE-phil really cant say no to Tallulah huh??

TRAIN TIME-oh no out of fuel?-RAMON NO-TALLULAH NO

aww sweety

omg law suit evaded pog-omg the safety protocol is being ignored left and right

oh no Chat broken

HE'S IN

OH NO TALLULAH-subway surfer omg-the album omg-she is so her dad's child

Train conductor Chayanne LETS GO

RAMON PUT YUR ARMOUR ON-and stop griefing the Brazilian

"boys will be boys"

egg cats-sewer egg-hi Richa-OMG ITS RADIATION??

ohh it's done???

aww cute richa moment

hi cellbit-egg for the cake lets gooo

OMG BLOND BADBOYHALO

HE's BALD MARKIPLIER-PINK BRAID OMG-he feel Bonita

PHIL'S turn-Fuq HIM UP FAM-Dangerous

oh no Richa lock them in

love that Chayanne and Tallulah is the model good kid eggs like they are literally the cousin that every parent compares you to

Riddle time!-omg-Comedian Chayanne-HAH GOT EMM

A MONTH!?-until the election?-wet stone lol

HEY AYPIEREE-Ramon no

yeah TECHNICLY CORRECT-OMG FIT NO-the BELL HAND LETS GO

well maybe you will have feathers like that one dragon

lol everyone ready with a camera-omg good lord-fallen off Phil lets go

CELLBIT is YOUR TURN

dot mess the white he says-oh no that could be true

oh no RICHA LOOK THEM in

oh no yu okay?-noise canceling pog-aww Tallulah

oh Will is in Poland??-STOP BEING TALENTED AND GOOD

hello there-omg the Yaoi land is getting to them all

the voice is the problem or the catfish is

YEAH ARTIST RICHA APPRECIATION

no meta-gaming Phill

AWW SO CUTE

CELLBITS HAIR CUTS DONE-OMG LOL HE CALLED IT-THE CAT EARSSS OMG-EARING TOO

Worse than the torture he says lol

Furry Cellbit lets go

Richa Party lets go

turtle eggs?? oh it's from dapper,

omg he's is keeping it

HAPPY BIRTHDAY RICHAA- yu did perfect Phil

2 MONT LETS GOO

Mike no not at the eggs bday party

HOLLY SHIT PAC AND MIKE ARE KILLING IT

THE GIFTTSSS-so many foods from Chayanne-HOLLY SHIT RAMON

omg the mix they do with the flutes is so cool

What was that a radio?-a pancake?

Hi BADBOYHALO-loblond besties-omg Cellbit lol

HI DAPPER-the twins are fighting that's okay I guess

PHOTO TIME

cool beach they really did good

omg wat?-is that guy riding a dead decaying bird?-hu

wait-wat oh fuqin shit they're back-the Kids oh no -oh thank god thanks Bad

omg those fukers are back

OH FUQ OFF

yeah you jinx it Phill

oh god they can't hurt him

OMG THE KIDS

oh no he's going

OMG it's GOING TO THE NEST-omg it's going there

oh no the thing is trying to go inside

on the roof -where is it-fucker son of ditch hole bitch

bastard ditch suker- are the Kids safe in their room???

FUCK ALL OF THESE MOBS ARE ANNOYING

the thing still didn't catch any damage-oh fuq off he's trying to hurt the kids using the ghost

OH WAIT-OH FUQ-its in the window-oh okay but fuq

Leo?? oh god they are targeting her-omg Leo's Room was broken-just get lost already

WAT? TAKING PICTURES?-THAT BASTARD BITCH-OMG IT REALLY TAKING PICTURES

oh good lord Tallulah Sweetie I'm so sorry you have to see this

ok, I think it's gone now-you okay Chayanne?- THANK YOU FOREVER

Tallulah Darling I'm so sorry-okay it's gone thank god-are we safe?

ok so Leo and Pomme are targets

aww Tallulah darling I'm glad ur safe-okay back to safety

fuq that was fuking horrible-yeah that is annoying- yu jinx it

a wat?-omg defup-lol-the VOICE-multiple gegg nice-ah yes put him in the cage-oh he is not there?-lol is a zoo now

Phil that is not a lullaby

WE LOVE YOU TO KIDS BYE

the hotel is fuqed-Forever we need you

oh god its getting stronger

okay get ur rest old man

#don't mind me #qsmp #qsmp philza #qsmp eggs #qsmp chayanne #qsmp liveblog #qsmp cellbit #qsmp fit #qsmp ramon #qsmp richarlyson #qsmp pac #qsmp mike #qsmp aypierre #qsmp dapper #qsmp binary entity #OMG FUQING HELL #IDID NOT EXPECT THE FUKING ROLER COASTER THAT IS TODAY #HOLLY HELL #FUCK THE BINARY MONSTER #HAPPY BIRTDAY RICHA #STOP GIVING THE KIDS TRAUMA DAMMNIT #THANKS PHILL #qsmp badboyhalo #UGHHHHH

[runfast-runfar]

Life Lately ~ June 2023 ~

- I’ve been out of residential treatment and in PHP five days a week for 1.5 weeks now. It’s been a rollercoaster, that is for sure. 

- I miss work so much. Like, so so much. It’s hard to explain bc I don’t miss the work itself that much, but I love the people I am around at work. My closest friend is also someone I work with, and so it’s been sad knowing I don’t get to go on walks for coffee, and randomly catch up throughout the day. I am looking at another ~4 weeks in PHP (meaning being out of work), and then I will step down to IOP for a while. The potential problem with IOP is it is 3 days a week, and I will have to leave work two of those days quite early (i’ll have to leave at 2:05pm and then the third day, friday, I won’t be able to go into the office at all bc the program is 10am-3:30pm fridays. That is a big ask considering they have been giving me this whole time off, full pay, to do this program. I just want this process to be over. I want to just go back to my life and be done with all of this treatment. It’s mentally and emotionally exhausting. 

- As ready as I am to go back to work, I also am so nervous for it. I am anxious to be around that many people again (there are ~75-80 people in our office). I have gained a pretty significant amount of weight atm from refeeding/my weight not having stabilized yet. I LOVE my therapist at my PHP program (her name is Jess and I talked to her each week when I was in residential, she just wasn’t my official therapist until I got to PHP) and I want to get to keep seeing her forever lol! I know I will get to keep seeing her during IOP but I also am a little worried if work doesn’t let me do IOP/take the needed time off I may have to leave against medical advice and not complete IOP. And that would mean not seeing Jess which would be very difficult for me. So it’s just a bit of an up in the air clusterfuck atm. 

- Some happy things are happening too though. My brother, our mutual friend and I are going on 3 apartment tours this upcoming saturday and I am SO SO excited and ready to be moving out, so fingers crossed one of these places works and we get it asap bc living at home is rough. 

- I am dog sitting for Finn and I LOVE my time with him! He is the best pal ❤️

- It was my best friends birthday and I made her a card that I painted and I haven’t done anything art related in a while and it felt nice to do. I need to do it more. 

- We do cute little fun activities in PHP often, and I got to make a little sand sensory “garden” and I love it! I am leaving it at program for the time being to play with there, but when we move out I am oddly excited to put it in my new room lol!! 

- And then the Taylor Swift concert is a little over a month away and I am SO EXCITED (also SO NERVOUS!) I was originally going with my brother (I coerced him to go with me) but my friend is able to come now, which I am so excited about, but it also made me weirdly extremely nervous too. She’s my closest friend and I love her very much and am so glad she’s coming. But I’ve never been in a social setting like this with a friend honestly ever. I haven’t had many friends since I was a little kid, and I’m nervous about it. I’m nervous to be in a crowd, and I get nervous around friends, even close friends, and I am a little worried about being in both those situations at once. I also don’t know how to act.. like I don’t want to be weird and too excited about it bc that’s weird.. but I also don’t want to be too rigid and a buzzkill... ugh.. why am I like this!? So, that’s been a bit stressful and on my mind for the past few days. It’s frustrating too bc it’s not that I don’t want her to come, I really do. I just wish I wasn’t so anxious about everything all the goddamn time. That would be freaking nice. 

- Anyways, no program today since it’s Juneteenth! So I walked down to get coffee with Finn this morning (I also slept in until 8am which is late for me lol), and then I have been laying in bed with Finn all morning! Yesterday I went on my first run in about 4 months now, it was an easy 30 minute run which felt conflicting. I was so happy to be out there again. No back pain, and it just felt like being back “home” in a way. But it was hard because I was running 8+ miles daily and in such better shape then. Okay.. maybe not “better shape” bc eating disorder.. but the difference in athleticism is real and hard to reconcile with. Anyways, went on that run, and then I did my favorite peloton class afterwards. And so today is a rest day. I will do some light yoga later, but I am freaking sore and so it’s been a relaxing day. Although apart from those workouts yesterday I laid in bed all day yesterday too haha! I actually movie marathoned all 6 Scream movies yesterday in bed which was amazingggg lol! I am rewatching Scream 6 now, and then I am going to watch all the Purge movies today! (can you tell i’m on a horror movie kick lol!) 

- Well, I hope you are all doing well, and have a great week ahead of you! 🫶 

#personal #eating disorder recovery #residential treatment #php #post college life #work #art #painting #pets #dogs #finn #life #anorexia #running #runblr #bulimia #addiction #health

[senfan-san]

89's Episode

This is a very late translation, isn't it? Hehe, school and work have been taking up all my attention but I managed to finish all the non-translated World Empire Episodes! This is great! I can finally focus on the Chassepot story which I was hoping I could translate! :D

This episode was pretty sweet in the middle! www \(⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠)/ Soldier-san is super cute in this one! Miso ramen for the win!

I will begin to make some new changes in the blog tomorrow. I'll be compiling all the WE Episodes from me and @/senjuushi 's into one post and update the resource list! Lol I need to get on top of that!

Please enjoy and thank you for your support everyone! 🙏❤️

Original Video (Skip to 9:46)

89 — Episode 1

The Spy Saw It! ~The Troublesome Monolouge~

~Scene Begins in Battlefield~

89: “… Ah... assigned... me. Ah, it's so dull. We don't need to collect a bunch of stupid rocks.”

89: “Why didn't you just let the soldiers do the work that normies do?”

89: “I don't understand why we're hunting rocks anyway... It's too dull.”

89: “Michael said, ‘I will help the soldiers improve their efficiency by playing the piano’...”

89: “Hah... Playing the piano won't make them better, that’s just common sense.”

89: “Why do I have to go on a treasure hunt with soldiers while listening to classical music at a war site... Damn it, just forget about it.”

89: “...Ah, that’s right.”

89: “I have to go report to "that guy" when I'm done. Ah, so annoying.”

89: “That's a total pain in the ass. I'll just skip it, then.”

89: “No, it's too much trouble to even skip the report. I'm afraid of what happens afterwards.”

89: “The other day, when I skipped a call from "that guy"... Mauser chased me around all day.”

89: “I hid in the bathroom because I didn't want to have to deal with running away from him…”

89: “The Mauser guy was so darn stubborn, he even searched the toilet cubicles.”

89: “It was a bit of a horror to hear the doors opening one by one from the back.”

89: “He's really persistent... I just want to disappear and become air.”

89: “...Oh, well, what the hell. I'll just have to go report it.”

89: “And after the report... I think I'll stay in my room today and break the deadlock.”

~End of Episode 1~

89 — Episode 2

The Spy Saw It! ~A Surprisingly Sensible Man?~

~Scene Begins Inside World Empire~

89: “...Aah? What… want? Don't talk to me while I’m in the middle of a game! I can't take my eyes off the screen right now!”

Soldier: “I'm—I’m sorry! I'm just trying to inform you about tomorrow's mission…”

89: “The operation? Shit... I get it!”

89: “...What do you want? You have 30 seconds to tell me.”

Soldier: “Sir, there's been a change in the start time for tomorrow's mission. 8 PM, at the appointed place!”

89: “That's it? Yeah, yeah, got it. Well, I'm going back…”

89: “...Next time you interfere with my game, I'll kill you.”

Soldier: “I-I understand...!”

Soldier: “...! Uh, sir!”

89: “...Aah?”

Soldier: “Uwah...! I'm sorry again and again!”

Soldier: “I got some Japanese instant noodles at the market and brought them to you…”

89: “Ramen? ...Oh, that's their miso flavor! I just ran out of stock, so I'll take it.”

89: “Well, I'll be going back this time... Thanks for the message.”

~89 Continues Gaming~

Soldier: “Yes, sir! Excuse me!”

Soldier: “...Phew, I was so nervous.”

Soldier: “89, you're rather decent, unlike most Noble Musketeers. A great deal of them are a bunch of strange people… even though you’re scary when someone interrupts your game.”

Soldier: “I'll bring you some more miso seasoning when I find it.”

~End of Episode 2~

89 - Episode 3

The Spy Saw It! ~Pre-Operation Quarrel~

~Scene Begins in Battlefield~

89: “...Here? It’s not that... right?... If it's so hard just to be on a mission, why am I with this guy...?”

Belga: “I feel like ima’ puke if I share your opinion... That's the real problem here! I don't get it!”

89: “I'd rather play games and capture enemy bases than fight with you.”

Belga: “Hah? Real combat is definitely more exciting than virtual combat!”

Belga: “...Ahh, I see. You're a fuckin’ virgin, aren't you? Yahaha! Am I virtual enough for you~?”

89: “Huh…? Haah!? How the hell do you know if I'm a virgin or not!?”

Belga: “...Fuckin’ hell, that's soo funny! …Yahahahaha!”

89: “You really should kill yourself. I mean, what the hell does that have to do with fighting!”

Belga: “Woah... Your reaction is super stiff. Look at my arm, my hair it's standing up.”

89: “...Heh! Not only do you have the brain of a little bird, you've also got the arms of a bird. Shame, huh?”

Belga: “Aah? What the hell? You want a fight?”

89: “...This is no time to be stupid. It's time to go. Let's go, Belga.”

Belga: “Don't give me orders. Don't drag me down to your level, virgin~! ♡”

~Belga Runs Away~

89: “Meh…!? Damn it, he's gone... Aah, this sucks. Everything is seriously so dull.”

89: “Hah... Fine. Let's go smash some old guns and relieve some stress.”

~End of 89's Episode~

[Extra Tibit From Senfan-San!]

Before I say anything, thank you for reading the translation! I really appreciate it when people see my work, even if they aren't vocal about it. I also cuss a bit here than usual, lol ignore it :D

Work(TA and programmer @ a school) was crazy man... They brought a whole petting zoo(where a goat almost ate my phone) and I saw the kids assault each other with chairs heehee

I also got to help operate the t-shirt launcher and that shit went higher than a drug addict... like hit the ceiling high.... im surprised that the big gym couldn't withstand the power of that thing

I also got a really nice lunch today! The parent were so sweet and gave us philly cheesesteaks and lemonade to begin the spring semester :)

That's all I have for today! Thank you for staying until the end!

#senjuushi #senjyushi #千銃士 #translation #👻sen.translation👻 #89

[enhyhoonie]

Wonderwall

Pairings: Sunoo X fem!reader

Genres: Highschool!au, fluff (really fluffy)

Triggers: Bullying, bad languages

WC: 2.2k

A/n: My friend was like “Imagine Sunoo as a soft shy boy” thanks to her I wrote this lol.

Synopsis: The high school years are the best! I'm living my best life, being the captain of the cheerleaders has given me a lot of popularity and friends. I recently developed a crush on someone in my class. His name is Sunoo. He is not really popular, on the contrary he is the outcast of the class. He is rather shy and reserved. I'm sure he doesn't like me, after all I am his number one bully. I'm not bullying him for evil purposes, it's just that I don't know how to react when I'm near him and I end up bullying him. I tried confessing to him a lot of time but I failed miserably. But one day some jerks in my class took his dairy and thought I would have been fun to read it in front of the class. That’s how I found out what he felt about me.

_"What’s next class?"

_"Maths"

_"Ugh I hate maths…"

I don’t know who’s talking and I don’t care about maths now I’m just waiting for him to come.

_"Weird…Normally he’s never late." I start muttering.

_"Who are you talking about?" One of my friend asks.

Honestly I don’t know my friend’s name, more like I don’t remember and I don’t care. I have too much friends and I just have one name I only have to know anyway.

Kim Sunoo

_"Oh he’s here!" I say as a smile appears on my face.

_"Oh he’s here!" I say as a smile appears on my face.

My friend turns and looked at the class door.

_"I don’t know what you find in him that attracts you." She say disgusted.

_"Isn’t he lovely today?" I asked myself with my gaze still on him.

_"Whatever." My friend say rolling her eyes.

Before I stand up to come talk to him some jerks have already come up to him.

_"Sun-sun you’re here!" One of them say. "What snacks did you bring for us today?" He says as he take Sunoo’s bag.

_"Can you just sit at your desk and let him be?" I say, my voice raising from anger.

_"The math teacher will not attend class today so we have a free hour." One of the jerks say.

_"Oh look." Jerk#1 say before he takes a book out of the bag.

_"Give it back to me.” Sunoo say as he try to take the book but jerk#2 stopped him.

_"Since you didn’t brought snacks today, we will read your diary as a compensation. Look at the cover; 10 months diary."

_"Give him his diary! What’s written inside is none of your business!" I say truly annoyed.

_"Y/n shut up and go sit at your desk. It will be fun." Jerk#1 say as he comes to the teacher’s desk.

I looked at Sunoo but he just starred at his shoes looking anxious.

_"Let’s read it in front of the class, after all it’s better to share it to everyone."

_"But-"

_"Forget it Sunhae you will embarrass him more if you stand out for him." My friend say.

I end up sitting back clenching my hands, looking at those bastards with pure hatred.

_"Read it already!" Jerk#3 say as he take his phone to film the whole scene.

Day 1:

I heard that writing in a diary can replace the lack of not having a friend to talk to or just to write what we really feel so that’s why I bought one.

My main purpose isn’t to write about my daily life, it’s rather about writing about someone…more about how I feel for this person.

I should probably introduce the situation first.

It has been 10 months, 305 days more precisely that I have feelings for Y/n. We were both in the same class last year and when I saw her for the first time, something weird happened. I felt my heart aching a lot and I felt nervous around her. I realized later that I have feelings for her. But I don’t think she likes me. She tease me a lot and always look at me with a weird expression. I guess I’m disgusting in her eyes. It’s not like I expect her to like me, I just want her to seem me as a cool person rather than a loser…

Anyways, that was the first day of writing in this diary. I don’t know if I will update it daily or just when I feel like it. I guess I will just go with the flow.

Day 2:

Today was okay. She teased me like always but she was a little bit different. Maybe because she changed her shampoo or because she teased me less than usual? I heard she likes ballad songs like me. We have common interests…it makes me happy. But when she caught me listening to it she just laughed at me…maybe she likes strong guys that listen to rap or hip hop? I will keep that in mind. I think I’m crazy… Nobody would ever think of having feelings for someone that tease you. But…I just find her charming and in some kind of way…I envy her…she has a lot of friend and everyone likes her. Something in her makes people attracts to her like the sun. Who wouldn’t like her? I should stop writing now or else I will use all the pages.

Day 3:

Today I cut my hair and tried a different style. She definitely noticed since she pointed it out during lunch. She said it doesn’t fit me. Mission failed… but since it was too late I had to go to the football match dressed like that. I don’t go to see the match itself, it’s to watch Y/n’s prestation. I’ve never missed one. She’s glowing when she’s cheerleading, I like seeing her like that…It makes me like her even more.

It’s a relief that I can finally express how I feel about her. I don’t regret buying this diary.

Day 4:

Should I count it as day 4 since I didn’t wrote in this diary for days? Well this isn’t the subject. I didn’t wrote for day because something happened. It doesn’t seem like a big deal but it confused me a lot, to the point I had to reflect about the whole situation the whole week.

One of the girl of the class confessed to me after school. Well it was to make fun of me, she said just after that it was a prank and that she would never date a loser like me. I’m used to it anyways…but when I was about to head home I saw that girl and Y/n in the hallway alone. Y/n slapped that girl and said that she went too far and that she shouldn’t jokes about feelings. She looked really angry, like haha was the one that was pranked. Why would she be upset about it? She’s supposed to despise me, she was supposed to laugh with that girl not arguing with her. I thought maybe she don’t hate me that much… But why would she act like this towards me if she don’t hate me? I don’t get it. But what happened…moved me…I smiled all night thinking that she might not hate me. I’m hopeful.

Day 5:

Today was dangerous for me. I think I was about to have a heart attack.

Since I lost one of my contact lens I had to wore glasses for class. Of course I got called a nerd a lot by the class, and then she arrived. She looked at me then she came closer and took my glasses. She put them on her face and approached her face closer to mine while asking if she was pretty with them. I just went immediately to the bathroom name and clocked myself. I know that was lame of me but I didn’t wanted her to see me blushed hard. She was so pretty with glasses on…and the fact it was my glasses…my heart fluttered so much at that moment. I don’t want her to see my like that…I should have played it cool but how could I? That’s so embarrassing? I’m not a little boy to react like this but I like her so much and seeing her like that…I just lost it. I will not let this happen again. Gosh, my heart is still racing. I really like her. Yes. She was pretty with my glasses on.

Day 5:

Today is Valentine’s Day and since I don’t have the courage to confess to her I will just write down what I want to tell her.

“Y/n, I don’t now what to begin with. Probably with the fact that I had major feelings for you since last year till this days. You’re probably wondering why you. The answer is simple. You’re like the sun. Everyone gravitate towards you. Even losers like me. You’re shining, you’re beautiful, you’re warm, you’re cute, you’re smart, you’re determined, you’re everything…you’re perfect…you’re out of my league.I know too well that I don’t deserve you and that you don’t hold me in your heart. You probably think I’m petty or something like that, but I still hopped that you would see me in a brighter light, that’s why I observed you, to know more about you, to find us common interests, to feel more close to you. That sounds really stupid but I end up liking you teasing me, the nickname you gave me that was supposed to mock me, I liked it. I watched all your cheerleading prestations just to admire how dreamy you are when you’re doing what you like. I think about you when I’m not supposed to, my dreams are filled with your face and my heart aches just thinking about your voice. That’s the effect you have on me. I don’t expect you to like me but I just want you to consider me…not as a failure but as a strong and cool person. I want to shine in your eyes like you shine in mine. I sorry for not saying this to you in person or even writing this in the purpose of giving it to you. I’m a coward, but you already know that, right? I don’t know when will this feelings will last but I know they’re real and true.

Let me still gravitate around you.

Little boy.”

_"S-stop please."

I turned and saw Sunoo, looking at Jerk#1, his face red with tearing eyes and his fists clenched. He walked toward Jerk#1, take the diary from his hand and run away from the class.

The class was laughing and mocking his teary face. Assholes.

_"Y/n I pity you." My friend say while laughing.

I just looked at her, frowning trying to contain my rage.

I walked out to look for Sunoo. He was in the staircases crying and holding his diary tightly.

_"Sunoo…"

He quickly wiped his tears as he saw me.

_"I’m sorry…" He said not looking at me.

_"Sorry for what?"

_"I-I embarrassed you in front of the whole class I-I know you’re angry a-at me but please ca-can you go…I don’t want you to see me cry li-like that…” He said still sobbing.

_"I…"

I couldn’t continue my phrase as tears started coming up and my voice end up breaking.

_"Y/n? Why are you crying?" Sunoo asks worried.

_"I should’ve reacted faster…I’m so sorry Sunoo…I’m sorry for what I did…I should have told you instead of acting like this…When I saw you crying I hated it so much…I should have protected you from the beginning…I-“

_"Y/n you don’t have to feel pitiful or guilty, you don’t have to say all of this, I’m used to it-“

_"I never knew you felt that way towards me…I thought you hated me because I was bullying you…"

_"Don’t worry about it, stop crying, you don’t have to be angry for me-"

_"It’s because I love you that I’m like that!" I said as tears still dropped from my eyes.

Sunoo step back his hands hiding the bottom of his face.

_"I-" He say confuse.

_"Are you alright? You’re red? Do you feel sick?" I ask worried, my tears already dried.

_"D-don’t look at me please…"

_"Uh?"

_"I’m red because of you that’s all…"

My cheeks started to heated as I see him looking at the window, his hand still hiding his red face.

_"Sunoo, I love you!"

He finally take out his hand and shows a bright smile while looking at me.

_"I love you, Y/n."

His smiley eyes and his peach cheeks were there most beautiful things I saw in my life.

~End~

#enhypen fanfiction #enhypen #enhypen fic #sunoo fanfic #kim sunwoo x reader #kim sunoo #sunoo x reader #enhypen sunoo

[catrillion]

Automata Weekly Update 2/4/23

I decided I wanna start sharing excerpts each week of things I've written for Automata while also sharing my progress for that week! Mostly it's so I can look back and see my progress over time, but also it's a fun way to share bits of what I've written.

So this week, I wrote 9k words. I focused a lot on Toru, Nami, Hyakuji, and Rikka- I love writing for these guys, too, because they each have such fun personalities and play off of each other so well.

Also!! This week I had the special experience of writing something that made me cry! How exciting!! (It's not the part I'm sharing today lol, sorry)

Anyway. As of today, my total word count for Automata is 90,313. I'm hoping to make it to 100k by the end of the month. Now that I'm not feeling sick, I think I can do it! Honestly, so long as nothing big happens, I think I can do it in the next week or two.

Under this read more, I have an excerpt I wrote this week- this is like the only part I worked on this week that isn't full of spoilers lol.

The blonde girl- the one with the short hair who wasn’t Nami- was a few steps behind him and also had a bag of her own slung over her shoulder. “I can get the door, you know! You don’t have to-”

Out of nowhere, there was the sound of commotion behind him. Akashi turned back to doors to the cafeteria- Hyakuji had kicked them open and was making his way to the side of the room toward the kitchen. He had two large cloth bags that were full-to-bursting.

“If you weren’t so slow,” he shouted back over his shoulder, “I wouldn’t have to!”

Akashi looked around the room. Everyone had already gone back to their regular conversations. This must have been a pretty regular occurrence.

Rikka caught up with Hyakuji and pushed him with her free hand before blowing past him. “Jackass,” she barked back at him. Weirdly, she followed it up immediately with a laugh.

A man popped his head out of the kitchen. “You two should be careful or else we’re gonna lose all of the groceries again,” he admonished.

“She started it,” Hyakuji huffed.

She didn’t argue. She just stuck out her tongue.

Irekae scoffed, drawing Akashi’s attention back to their table. “They’re so immature,” he grumbled. He looked back at Akashi. “You said you’re training with him today?”

He nodded. “Right after lunch.”

“Ugh. I wish you’d done us all a favor and did kill him the other day.”

“Irekae!”

“What? I’m joking.” Irekae leaned in toward Akashi. He placed his elbow on the table and jabbed his thumb behind him at Hyakuji, who was still unloading the contents of the bags and arguing with the kitchen staff. “But seriously, it’s not too late. He’d never see it coming and-”

Izumi swatted his hand. “You’re the worst,” she huffed.

“Yeah, yeah. So? How about it?”

As much as he didn’t want to do this training session, he was even less keen on this idea. “Uh, sorry. I don’t think I’m going to do that.”

He threw his hands up. “Man, what good is having the Guild’s combot around if you’re not even gonna kill a few annoying people?”

“We told you, Irekae-kun; he’s not the Guild’s weapon.”

“Uh-huh.” He didn’t sound very confident in that.

He decided he was going to assume that Irekae had been joking- the alternative seemed just as likely, but he didn’t want to think about that- and rubbed the back of his neck. “To be honest, I’m... I’m nervous about training with him.”

“You should be,” Irekae said. Even though he was agreeing with him, three comment didn't feel particularly helpful.

“He’s really not so bad,” Izumi responded.

Oukan nodded. “Yeah. Hyakuji’s funny.”

He looked back at them both. He wasn’t sure if he agreed with Oukan’s assessment.

That was when Hyakuji noticed Akashi looking his way. He shouted, “Oi! Okashi!”

“Aw shit, he’s coming over,” Irekae hissed.

And coming over he was. Rikka followed, hovering a few steps behind the entire way.

Hyakuji slammed his hands on the table. “Okashi, I hope you haven’t forgotten about training today,” he said, still shouting as if they were still across the room from one another.

He looked up at Hyakuji. It just means he likes you, he reminded himself. “We were just talking about that, actually.”

“Great. And this time, look out- I'm not going easy on you again.”

He looked around the table. “O-okay.”

Oukan leapt up in her seat. “Hey! Hyakuji! Did you bring us anything good this time?”

“Something up to the palates of this here picky eaters association? Doubt it.” He gestured with his thumb back at the kitchen. “The soup kitchen had some extra ingredients they wanted to share, so we’ve got leeks, onions, a few potatoes-“

Oukan scrunched up her nose.

He laughed. “Hey, it’s free veggies. You know how much a damn potato goes for these days?”

The girl cleared her throat. “Hey. Hyakuji.”

He rolled his eyes. “Yeah, alright Rikka. Look, I gotta go finish getting this put away.” He pointed at Akashi. “I’ll see you after ‘lunch.’” Once again he was laughing.

He knew he was making fun of him, but Akashi just nodded. “Okay. I'll be there.”

Hyakuji knocked his knuckles against the table and turned to get back to his chores. Rikka followed again, but her icy glare was trained on Akashi the entire way.

#automata #automata weekly update #automata excerpt #(shamelessly stealing ideas from Nico lol)

[dreamofstarlight]

Hi! Been all over your blog liking things & I want to talk to you about Bobby/get your thoughts. Also I'M SO SORRY THIS IS SO LONG. I had even more to get off my chest but I held back because I feel crazy for writing a novel, but I digress.

I was rewatching Bobby Kennedy for President and knew it would send me down a spiral, but did it anyway...ended up on the couch, sobbing into my shirt and stuffing my face with chocolate until 3am.

So many people say "oh, he wasn't a great orator" etc., but obviously he was good to begin with & got better over time. BUT what I think is cute about his awkward moments is that it's so relatable and so human. It's so...real...to feel awkward, or stutter or trip over words, or be shaky or nervous. Versus perfectly rehearsed fake smile politician delivery. He was a little quirky, and always spoke from the heart. FUNNY AS HELL, too. I think that's something a lot of people (who aren't this obsessed lol) don't know about him.

Going through some mental struggles of my own right now and felt like crying even more today so I watched JFK's funeral coverage on YouTube and I sweeeeear there's a brief moment I saw Bobby wipe a tear :( killed me. He seemed like such an emotional and vulnerable person (which makes sense knowing he couldn't be fake and pretend to like things/people that he didn't), but also private and a little introverted at the same time. Like he was outgoing and great with the crowds but seemed very much, deep down, a love-my-alone-time person, who'd rather have a small close group of confidants than be drifting amongst high-profile randoms with superficial friendships. I could be wrong. Obviously this was kind of a part of the life he was born into, but I wonder if he struggled with any of it.

Since he loved to quote poems, here's a relevant one I love that always breaks my heart:

"For all sad words of tongue and pen, the saddest are these: it might have been." - John Greenleaf Whittier

Hi! Yes yes yes yes!!! I always find it so interesting when people say he wasn't a great public speaker because I wholeheartedly disagree. I think people confuse his slight awkwardness and him not being the most confident in front of crowds as him just not being very good at public speaking. So many of speeches are amazing and considered to be some of the best speeches in American political history not only because of how he spoke honestly and you could tell he cared and he showed that through his actions that matched his words. I truly believe that Bobby before JFK's death and after are 2 totally different people, I think him going through that level of grief and survivors guilt and he really sunk into those feelings (idk if that helped or hurt him) and that opened him up emotionally. Jackie said that he would spend hours and hours in his office at Hickory Hill just reading and trying to make sense of what happened and why it happened. He wore his heart on his sleeve and connected to people. Many people in the civil rights movement, most notably John Lewis, felt like when Bobby was killed it was like a light was fading in the world and no one felt like it would ever be the same without him.

that quote is so heartbreaking and I always say that the question for so many in the Kennedy Family is, "what if?"

#anon #ask #answered #robert f kennedy #rfk #bobby kennedy #kennedy family #the kennedys

[kinetic-elaboration]

January 14: Writing Updates

I've been sitting here for about half an hour, trying to come up with a short ficlet idea but I don't think it's going to happen. I keep moving farther away from concrete ideas and closer toward spacing out and sleepiness. And I do still want to work on the drawer fic.

I did write today, and now I am only two (2!) scenes away from finishing the draft of the Time Loop fic. So close, so close. I'm not too concerned about when I finish those scenes but I feel pretty confident it will be this month. (Probably just cursed myself saying that haha, but it's a pretty reasonable suggestion given my current pace.) I've also started editing Ch3. It's the longest of the 5 so it might take me a while but again, I just no longer feel any sense of urgency or worry about this project. I see the end in sight. It will all be done eventually. It is fine.

I have also been rolling some ideas around in my head for the Hey, Sweetheart challenge. I haven't officially signed up and I don't know that I'll actually write anything but it's on my mind.

I've been keeping up with the drawer fic still, though I do feel a bit like I'm continuing now out of a concern for breaking my streak, more than because I'm looking forward to working on it each night. I'm a little afraid of running out of ideas soon, too. My original fantasy-story definitely want on a lot farther than where I am now, but the thing is I don't remember most of the ideas past where I am now. And that is starting to make me nervous. But I guess something has to. I still do want to continue writing this, I think I just need to run the fantasy again. I haven't touched it recently because I felt like I was getting waaaay ahead of myself, which I suppose I was. Hence the forgetting.

Anyway, I do think that having this regular low-stakes writing session in an environment that is relaxing to me has helped me with my other writing. I feel so much more chill about it. I think it's because even though the 'real' writing and drawer fic processes are very different, I'm still creating every day and so when I sit down on the weekend to work on a WIP, I'm not gearing up from a complete and total standstill like I did in the past.

So, I think after I finish the Time Loop draft and anything I may or may not do for Hey, Sweetheart, I will move on to the old Jonty fic. It will probably be way harder than I'm yet wiling to acknowledge but I'd really like to take something short-ish off the WIP list, especially since most of the ideas that really interest me are... not short. LOL.

I am excited to be down to two Time Loop scenes. I kind of doubt I'll work on it tomorrow... but still, only two. Only two and a lot of editing. Exciting, exciting.

#the year 2024 #2024: writing thoughts

[min-pathologica]

back on my all-nighter shit (probably a vent, definitely a vent i guess i lose my filter at 2:30 am. super long and tw vague intrusive thoughts)

trying to focus on this project but i can barely make out a single proper thought in my head, i keep making up stupid scenarios to scare myself because of my mind being all fucked up. i don’t want to think about it but guess who’s thinking about things that have zero likelihood of happening. me. but i’m scared it’ll happen anyway. why couldn’t i have my normal fears like in fall, why’d it have to switch back to the usual thoughts. i fucking hate them. like just leave these perfectly good people alone and let me see them normally instead of being too scared to make eye contact. and with how much i end up obsessing over these things and trying to avoid that person, it only makes me more scared that i would actually want those things to happen or that my fears are valid. then when i get too tired to even have a shocked or scared reaction i feel like they were true and i was just in denial. fuck. i don’t like the other flavors of thoughts but i might like this less because i can at least detach myself from the former and be sure i don’t want those things to happen, it’s more of an avoiding words and trying to will bad things away whereas this is having to fear the hell out of a normal person who i would’ve been okay with otherwise. i can barely enter a room they’re in. it’s the worst, i feel like they could be looking at me but logically they are obviously not so i mistake that thought for wanting them to look at me. fucking hell. now i’m too tired to even push those thoughts away so i came up with the dumbest scenario ever of them being a bad person like i thought and ew. i don’t know. i don’t think i have the mental willpower to even get rid of these on my own. the only thing i’ve been diagnosed with that would relate to this is anxiety, but i’m dumb and think it’s worse or different somehow. i told my new therapist about the thing i thought i could have and she said that anxiety can mimic its symptoms so i’m completely uncertain, like i feel like i have the thing i think i do but can i really trust a self-diagnosis at this point. besides it’s not even that severe. but i feel kind of sick did you know the word “osculate” can mean to kiss?? like how curves can share a common tangent on a given point of contact. i think i remember learning that a couple years ago maybe, it sounds familiar. idk my macbook screen saver is definitions. i’m looking at it because i was trying to focus on my project but couldn’t focus. this is long. why is it telling me about antimony oh cool it’s a metalloid that means it can form both ionic and covalent bonds. i googled that today while i was researching chem to procrastinate so that’s what i know about it lol. this is very long how come i can do all this writing on tumblr but not write about one measly religion for my final project?? it makes me so nervous but when i try to work on it i draw a blank and get distracted right away ugh. and then i try to focus but i can’t even think of what to do, it’d be nice if there was like an example. maybe there’s no required format? or maybe there is and if i do my own thing i’ll get told it’s all wrong on friday. but if i do nothing i may as well get insulted by my world religions teacher on friday. my thoughts are bad but this predicament might be worse. i don’t like it. i can’t even trust myself to get this done on time given all my prior experiences with being the world’s worst procrastinator. my computer just shut off because i’ve been typing this for so long. its timeout is 15 minutes. i’ve been here writing for 15 minutes. that’s so cute erm. what do i even do at this point. i was going to pull up my favorite song about burnout overworking and intrusive thoughts but how do i actually work. okay i think that’s it

#minxiety #tw vent

[lolosrollercoaster]

so - back on an I need to write this out to process it and I guess im sharing it mood.

So ... been looking for a job since April, took a bit of a break in May but was supposed to be back in it by now but I'm just. exhausted. the depression has come back full force and I'm now lk desperate and financially stressed af.

So anyways, all of these months I kept just mass applying when I could get myself to with the full resume I had - no changes. no tailoring it to an application etc. and then I decided to apply again to this one place in sept - even though last year when I applied I hadn't had much luck, but this time around there was a position very similar to my last one - and I was lk fuck it I gotta do it.

in the mean time I've kinda been going to a psychiatrist since lk august to be evaluated bc I think I might also have ADHD. But anyways she thinks that I need to leave my house, see ppl and rejoin life in order to see if my problems are from lack of doing anything and so my mental health is fucked bc im lk stuck at home feeling useless or if its because of something else - lk idk something is inherently wrong with me lol. I think she'd shit on me if I said that out loud to her. she's kinda cool - lk intimidating cool but not in a bad way. she's just such a no nonsense person and she'll read you lk you're an open book you cant get much past her.

my mom had to go in to share what she'd seen happening with me (aka lk the outsiders perspective of what changes can be seen in me since Ive been mentally fucked) and she was so nervous ahahaha and then in the end she was lk wait do I want an appointment with her for myself? my mom is a whole character. if only y'all knew.

anyways back to the job thing, so she told me to apply to anything, I just needed to get a routine going again. so I applied to a bunch of things. and then I got a message about a grocery store job on indeed and tried to reply but I couldn't help but feel a bit sad bc I thought man I finally got a grown up job and now I'm back to my OG job roots, back to the grocery store life. And honestly I think a lot of my extended family has fucked me up on that bc they're so snobbish about these jobs. ANYWAYS so I didnt hear anything back after I answered them 🤷🏻‍♀️ so I thought ok . and around that time I had stopped applying.

fast forward to the past 2 weeks - my dog got sick, I got sick - we had the worst flu, I've had the worst period of the last few years, ive been out of it, my mom has been out of it, my dog has been out of it - also right - my grandmas death etc. (truly Oct is kinda dead to me now. so yay on that 😭 one less thing to look forward to which is sad when you didn't have much left) but yeah so then I see this email late Friday evening - which shit I usually check my email daily but this time I had forgotten bc id been sick - it was an email from Wednesday from that job I'd applied in sept that was a lot lk the one I'd left earlier in the year. and they wanted to interview me this week - Wednesday or Thursday. I managed to reply as soon as I saw it. and then I got a confirmation that Monday for it - it was an in person interview today.

I tried to prep for it as best as I could while physically dying a bit - bc lk I said been experiencing the period from hell. And yknow what that means? I'm so fucking emotionally wrecked atm- so anyways my dad drove me I somehow managed to be there, I was early, dressed professionally and everything - had even practiced some answers ... and then idk man - I think I fucked it up. They asked follow ups or clarifications of my answers but by the end I wasn't sure how to feel except man definitely didn't get that. they told me they'd make a decision by next week and let me know either way.

and the worse or weirdest part is I've spent the past few days since I found out about it trying to downplay it - lk its fine, you don't need this, if it's for you then it will be for you and if it isn't then it isn't. but I felt so sad walking out - lk idk I just got that feeling that they didn't like me. so now I'm all sad - even if all I've felt recently is that idgaf anymore and I'm ok with just dying - bc yup I got that passive suic*dal ideation down to a routine now. anyways - if anyone has any words of encouragement I'll take them but yeah I am sad .... and I have little to nothing left to give. it's been draining to say the least. and the worst part is I know my parents are just going to be encouraging and even my psychiatrist -she told me that I would get a job and it wouldn't matter who and if for some reason I didn't get something I should just think of it "well they weren't capable of seeing how great you are and what an asset you'd be to their team and that's fine because that just means it is not the job for you" but it still makes me sad know? I have trouble letting go of things and I'm way too hard on myself so it's just - A LOT.

anyways thats my life update.

#unemployment #sad thoughts

[marcholasmoth]

OSRR: 3311

i went to the doctor today to check up on my shoulder and i got the official all clear and "come back as needed" so i'm happy to say that my shoulder is good now 💪

considering i completely forgot about the appointment, we took that as a good sign too lol

i got to come home today! i got to sit and ask mom about how to handle the sexism in the IT department and what she would do and how to approach it next time it happens because it will because people are predictable and sexist and basically i'll say "i am GSOC, this is what GSOC is saying, and you don't need anyone else's opinion." something like that or "of course i'm certain you'd like to explain to the VP of HR why i, a global security analyst, am neither believed nor trusted to give correct information on a subject that i brought to you to fix, im sure that would be fine and you would totally keep your job."

basically it's "fuck you, i'll get you fired" in corporate. which sounds like fun. i just need to channel my inner linda.

for dinner we had stir fry which was surprisingly good despite it being the first time making it in the house. mom was nervous and so was i lol so chelsea walked us through it and it was fine lmao

rip

anyway, i'm tired and tired and i was sad earlier because i was reminded of my path to get where i am and the line from taylor swift's song "this is me trying" that goes "they told me all of my cages were mental,/ so i got wasted like all my potential" and i felt that on a spiritual level as i have from day one bc rip me ig

anyway it's time for sleeping because i have a lot to do tomorrow

but also one or two last things:

1) my mom is praying for me to come back to church. i'm amazed that i can sit and listen to her talk without getting a panic attack or something. she's so wrong on so many levels and has made so many assumptions about me and my experiences, and has basically discounted everything that i've told her about my experiences as something that's "not perceived correctly." and i'm like "bitch?? how tf am i supposed to perceive it???" that shit is HOSTILE and i'm not about that. if someone 'needs' me or even if the whole goddamn room 'needs' me, that's still not a good enough reason for me to be there. count me the fuck out.

2) joel has been super duper sweet to me lately. on sunday we talked about us moving together and it made me happy and i got us lunch today and before anything happened he just texted me "love you <3" and it made me so happy?? like he thinks of me so much and he considers how i feel and he values my opinions and what i think and he listens and he is so good to me. i'm so happy he is exactly who he is because he's a good man and i'm happy i have him in my life. i love him so much. i'm happy.

#molly rambles #operation srr #osrr #3000s #3300s #sunshine boy

[memoirs-of-learning-dad]

The biggest thing on my mind is Paapu's birthday party tomorrow. Btw paapu means baby in my native tongue and that's what I call my little one.

The little hurricane will be 2 year old. F***!! 2 years, I have done this, don't know how. Just stumbling through one day at a time, learning as I go; jumping into the deep end. We are having a party with some friends coming over. Ordered some snacks, getting a custom cake.

Today we cleaned the entire house - paapu helped as well, lol! It was hilarious she was holding a broom and acting like it was a vacuum. But it was a fun day. I'm at my best and most comfortable when the three of us spend time like this. Just doing normal things around the house, hanging out with each other. Tomorrow will be different. There will be guests.

I'm nervous. Is our house big enough to fit that many people comfortably? Is paapu gonna freak out because of all these people? She's had serious strangers anxiety the past couple of months. Are we supposed to entertain the guests or something? How do I do that? Wifey (sorry for the cliche nickname, but I'll think of something better) says she's gonna do some activities with the kids in the party. well wtf are the adults going to do? watch the kids? there are some guests that are coming who don't have kids. Am I supposed to, like, go around talking to all the people? Lol, so awkward making small talk. I don't even have that many topics to talk about, lol, forget thinking about common topics for discussion with each of them. And it's a small space everybody will be so crowded.. ugh. I seriously wish I hadn't lost my conversation skills after college.

How do you guys deal with such things? I don't want paapu to see me all nervous and awkward around people, shy, and develop the same way. She's a badass already - she's unafraid. she's not even two, and in grocery stores and parks she used to literally walk up to people look them in the eye, say hi, interact and everything. But she's becoming shy, is it because she sees us (both wife and me are kind of shy introverts) and learns? Or is it just a phase of strangers anxiety? How do I make sure she keeps her confidence and spirit?

Anyway, I hope it will be a fun couple of hours tomorrow. My parents will join via zoom, hopefully my dad doesn't spread negativity by passing some stupid comment and hurting, insulting, provoking my wife. God, I just want a birthday party with no drama, is that too much to ask? There's just been so much drama lately, oof, so much tension, it's unhealthy. I know he's going to say something to either me or my wife or do something that's going to affect me. What bothers me is that paapu is able to read my face, my expressions, my body language and figure out whenever I get sad or upset or agitated. It's amazing how much emotional intelligence a 2 year old kid has, it blows my mind. No I can't let that happen, I have to focus on maintaining my composure tomorrow, think about the party only, paapu only. It's about paapu I hope it stays about paapu. Is it normal for married/committed men? The tension between wife and parents? Is a big part of being husband, just being torn between the two parties? How do you guys deal with all that? I'm seriously open to getting suggestions. Either way, I think I have found a healthy way for myself. well at least it's been working quite well for the past couple of months - no drama. What is it, you ordinary troubled men ask? Listening. Don't try to be a hero, don't try to be a peacemaker. Both parties just want you to listen to their grievances. I believe in the goodness in people - I believe neither do your parents expect you to go fight with the spouse nor does the spouse expect you to fight with parents. Well, at least that's what I believe. Nobody wants confrontation or drama. When one party is bitching about the other, just listen - don't let the opinions register or impact, don't act. Just say the magic words "I hear you".

Anyway, I was sidetracked there quite a bit, lol. Coming back to the party, I hope it goes well. Only the best for paapu you know? I'm so looking forward to seeing her face when she cuts the cake - it's a jungle themed cake, she absolutely loves animals, seeing her being the center of attention, lovely!!

Also hoping that I can finally try and strike deeper friendships with some of the guests. I mean, I literally don't have any friends here who I can hang out with or talk. I don't know if it's COVID lockdown or just a part of growing up and becoming a parent, but I really don't feel like I have friends anymore. you know the kind you go out for a drink with or get high. Somebody you can call for when you need them. There's nobody like that for me anymore. It's been like this for almost 5 years now, it's about time I open up a bit, reach out and make some new friends. There's this couple of neighbor dudes I'm hoping to strike a deeper connection with. One's my next door neighbor, that guy is cool, we have a lot of common interests, he's geeky, into strange music, loves fantasy and movies and sci-fi, likes hikes and nature. I think we can be good friends, but I'm just scared of reaching out to him to ask to hang out. 16 months we've lived next to each other, I have asked him to go for a drink with me once. Then there's this other guy, he's smart, we hit it off immediately he had the same cultural upbringing as mine, he's a new parent too, so there's a lot of life and personal struggles and issues we can connect about and talk. But, he has a 1 year old - I know how busy and stressful it is when your kid is that young. I'm making an effort to hang out more with this guy, hoping it blossoms into a nice friendship.

So ya. No pressure, anybody who reads this, please send good wishes to paapu, and pray that everything goes well, no drama. Hope y'all have a wonderful day, after all it's a special day for me and I'm sending good vibes to the world!

#positivity #birthday #introversion #parenting #family