#basically looking through the different parts of luke that make up the whole

[fortheloveofwonderland]

Rusty | Chapter 11 | S.R

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A/N - Just an FYI - the fics being posted now were finished months ago. I haven't written anything for the fandom in quite a long time and at present have no drive to do so. Once Midnight and Rusty are finished posting that will be it from me for the forseeable. Thank you for coming along for the ride.

Chapter Summary - Spencer pushes through another barrier on his way to recovery. But when a face from his past shows up out of the blue it threatens to destroy everything between the two of you.

Pairing - Spencer Reid / Fem! Reader

Category - strangers to friends to lovers | angst | smut minors DNI

Warnings - male masturbation, Spencer’s incredibly dirty thoughts, brief mention of three ways, handjobs, oral sex (f receiving) and penetrative sex (both p in v and p in a) all by way of Spencer’s imagination (Spencer is basically writing his own smut fic in his head), self inflicted wounds, talk of weight loss, swearing, arguing, yelling, tears, sad Luke, bit of a cliff hanger ending. WC - 7.6k

Chapter 11 - All My Ex's Live in Texas

The sentiment, to be able to love someone we must first learn how to love ourselves, felt oddly poignant in this moment, as Spencer stood in his bedroom, in front of the full-length mirror tucked away in his closet. 

It wasn’t exactly a rare occurrence, he often gave himself a cursory glance before he left the lodge of a morning, giving himself a brief once over. 

It also wasn’t something he made a habit of doing. He kept the mirror inside the closet for the purposes of not having to look at himself for long periods of time. 

But this was for entirely therapeutic purposes. 

And the idea of having to love oneself before allowing others into our heart rang true in an entirely different way. 

Spencer needed to be able to engage himself physically before he could expect anyone else to do the same. 

It had been four days since his trip to Doctor Ortega’s office. In those four days the two of you had participated in a string of increasingly heavier make out sessions, three of which fervent enough to yet again cause Spencer to come in his pants, but as yet had not graduated onto anything more intimate. 

Yesterday the two of you had ridden your respective mares into Pipe Creek for Spencer to collect his new prescription and Doctor Ortega had caught him on his way out. 

She’d taken him aside and reminded him that in order to take back control of his own body, he had to truly own it himself before he frivolously tried to hand it over to someone new. 

And that’s what led him here. Standing in front of his full-length mirror, naked as the day he was born. 

The only part of his body that was concealed was his casted arm, he’d even gone as far as to remove the dressings from his bicep, thigh and stomach. 

The wounds were all at various stages of healing, scabbing over and starting to scar. They would all leave their marks upon his skin for the rest of his life, a constant reminder that he’d been to hell but was desperately trying to claw his way back. 

He focused on them for longer than necessary, trying to distract his mind from the task at hand for as long as he possibly could. You’d gone to the grocery store with Rusty and wouldn’t be back for a while. He had time for his introspective. 

He inspected each cut with a keen eye, taking note of how each brandished him, pictured what they’d look like once solid and pink against his alabaster flesh. 

This was not an activity Spencer relished. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d looked at his naked form in such a manner. It felt clinical. Yet another experiment. 

Spencer liked experiments so he tried to keep that in mind as he took himself in as a whole before slowly ingesting each individual facet that made the full Spencer Reid picture. 

Start at the top, work his way down. Cold, removed, distant. 

Still got a good head of hair, not like William. Good hair. Thick hair. No greys. Almost forty and no greys. That’s pretty good going considering the stress I’ve been under. 

Nice eyes. Friendly eyes, that’s what JJ called them. Or was it kind eyes? Nice no less. Brown with gold flecks mom always used to point out. 

Bags under the eyes aren’t so nice. When did they get so purple? I look like I’ve never slept a day in my life. 

Nose. Lips. Chapped lips, such dry lips. How does Y/N kiss me? Need to buy chapstick. Must remember to buy chapstick. 

Need to shave. Or do I? I don’t hate the stubble, it makes me look tougher. Wonder what Y/N’s opinion on it is? Maybe I should ask her. 

His eyes trailed slightly lower to his torso. 

Still so skinny. Didn’t I put on weight? Where did that go? Mom always says I look like I’m not eating. Have I been eating? When did I get this skinny?

Lost weight in prison. Couldn't eat after…my mouth was always too sore. Thought I’d put it back on. Did I lose it again? How? When? 

He raised his hand in absent-mindedness and ran his fingers along the visible bones of his sternum, protruding through his milky skin. He pulled a face and dropped his hand again, somewhat unamused. 

His eyes briefly flitted back over the cut on his left side, garnering his attention once again before flicking to his stomach. 

Definitely lost weight, but how? Hip bones are more prominent. Got one of those little v-cut muscles I was always jealous of on Luke. Did I get that from riding? It does require core strength. I’ve never noticed it before. 

He continued quickly past the appendage where his attention was supposed to be, down to his legs. He’d always had strong thighs, thick thighs but they were somehow even meatier than he remembered. 

Is that from riding too? Must be. Good legs, definitely not terrible legs. Sturdy. Load bearing. 

I’m stalling. 

He closed his eyes with a loud huff, feeling incredibly self conscious all of a sudden. Opening his eyes again he forced his gaze between his legs where his flaccid member hung in a bed of pubic hair. 

And here we are, the thorn in my side. The bane of my goddamn existence. My…

…it’s not gonna get hard if you berate it. 

He grit his teeth and stared almost aggressively at the length of flesh and muscle between his legs. 

Masturbation should not be this difficult. 

It felt forced. He wasn’t aroused, not even a little. On the occasions in his life he had turned to self pleasure, it was only because he was incredibly horny, which wasn’t a regular occurrence for him unless he was in the act itself. 

He’d never just sat and thought I’m bored, maybe I could jerk one off. What was normal protocol here? 

His new phone had the internet and he would probably be able to look up a porn site. But what porn? Spencer didn’t even know what kind of porn he liked. 

He found both men and women attractive, where would he even begin? In an ideal world, what kind of sexual desire would…oh…oh! 

He stared at his cock as it twitched very slightly, heart beat picking up at the simple thought. He kept his eyes trained downwards while he contemplated it again. 

I like both men and women, I find them equally attractive. Specifically one man and one woman so what if I could have both? 

Again he twitched, before his very eyes his cock started to swell. His mouth fell open, chest heaving with his breaths. 

Y/N and Luke? Together? And me. All three of us. Together. Touching. Kissing. Or I could just watch, I’d be pretty happy to watch. 

Again he was amazed by the sudden jerk of his shaft, swelling slowly but surely. 

Oh this could work. I think this might work. 

He wrapped his hand around his shaft without too much thought in case he might talk his way out of this. He was only semi-erect but the speed in which it had happened meant he could be fully aroused in no time. 

He kept his eyes open, trying to force himself to watch as he started his slow strokes but his mind was wandering quickly down a sinful rabbit hole. 

Standing over them while she straddles him, her bare thighs pressed against his bare thighs, taking hold of his hard cock in her hand. 

Hearing Luke moan as his Adam’s apple bobs at her touch. Her beautiful, petite hand, unable to wrap all the way around his shaft. But she tries, she tries so hard. She wants to make him feel good, wants to give me a show.

Luke’s looking up at me, his eyes blown out with lust. 

“Come closer, cariño, let me touch you.” 

Oh how I happily oblige. 

Whilst she’s stroking Luke I kneel on the bed next to them and Luke is immediately taking me in his own large hand. I moan and my head falls back against my shoulders at his touch. 

He strokes me in time with her strokes on him. The sound of flesh on flesh echoing in the room. Moans and heavy breaths. 

There’s another hand on my jaw, I look at her and she draws me in for a deep kiss. Her tongue explores my mouth while Luke’s hand pumps my cock. 

My other hand finds her breast and I knead it beneath my fingers, pinching her hardened nipple in my hand. 

Yep, that’ll do it. 

He was fully erect in his hand now, stroking himself at an almost furious pace. His hand twisted and tightened, staring at his cock in his own hand in the mirror. 

Laying on my back and she’s on top of me, lowering herself down, slowly, slowly. Inch by inch I watch myself disappear inside her silken walls. I can feel the way her body stretches and pulls around my hard cock. 

Luke is behind her, palming her tits, kissing her neck. She’s whining, moaning because she’s so tight and I’m so big. 

“How does he feel, baby?” Luke whispers against her flesh once I’m completely sheathed inside of her.

“Fuck, he feels so good.” She starts to rock back and forth on top of me, eyes staring intently down at me. 

One of Luke’s hands travels downwards, to the juncture where our bodies meet. His index finger pressing against her clit. 

She vibrates around me, sending shockwaves down my cock. The moan that leaves my lips is nothing short of feral. 

Frantically fisting his own cock whilst imagining the pleasures of being with the both of you and his head was already leaking against hand. He swiped his thumb through it, legs buckling a little at the sensation and using his precum as lube. 

He was gnawing on his lip, watching the way his cock throbbed in his hand. It was a heady sight to behold. He thought he’d be disgusted by it. Was it wrong that it turned him on more? 

He looked good like this, strong, virile, dare he even say, sexy? He felt powerful as he watched his face contort in the pleasure he was bestowing upon himself. His staunch thighs shook beneath him. 

His thick and heavy length pulsed against his palm. 

She’s on her back, legs spread for me. I leave a trail of kisses across her soft skin but I’m in a hurry, I need to get to my final destination. 

Once my face is buried between her folds, I lap up at her arousal before my tongue settles on her swollen bud. She writhes beneath me at the contact, trying to move away. But I stop her with an arm across her abdomen. 

She moans and screams as I take her in my mouth, suckling on her sensitive clit. Like a man possessed I work between her legs, like she’s my favourite meal. 

I can feel a heat behind me, and hands on my hips guiding me up onto my knees. I comply because I’m so wrapped up in the way she tastes on my tongue. 

Then there’s something pressing into me from behind, I’m being stretched but in the best possible way. 

As Luke fills me up I moan into her core, making her squirm. The sounds in the room are melting into the walls, the smell of sex is heavy in the air. 

Luke thrusts into me hard and fast and I take two fingers and plunge them inside of her waiting heat while keeping my mouth on her desperate clit. 

She’s rocking against my face, coating my lips and chin in her arousal as my fingers sink inside of her. 

Luke is grunting as he fucks me, filling me up in a way I haven’t been filled in so long. Between my legs I can feel my cock twitching, pulsing, close to the edge without being touched. 

“Oh fuck,” Spencer mumbled, legs trembling. “Oh Jesus fucking Christ.” 

More precum leaked from his tip, coating his hand as he thought of eating you out while Luke fucked him. His head was hazy, his breaths ragged.

“Fuck, Spence, I’m close. So close.” She screams as I plunge my fingers in and out of her and swipe my tongue over her clit. 

Luke’s thrusts are growing more violent, his balls slapping against my ass. 

“Make her come, Spence. You can do it, cariño.” Luke encouraged me and I pick up my speed.

Soon enough I feel her walls clenching around my fingers and she’s coming undone at my will. She’s convulsing beneath me and I know it’s all because of me. 

And as I feel her coming, moaning my name, my own orgasm starts to pinch at my stomach and I know it won’t be long before I’m…

…“fuck, fuck, fuck!” Spencer screamed as he gripped the base of his shaft and started splattering streaks of his come all over the mirror. 

He kept stroking himself through his orgasm, his legs undulating back and forth as he expelled himself on the reflective surface, covering his hand in his sticky seed. 

He watched every small movement of his body, his quivering thighs, his leisurely strokes on his spent cock, his chest dragging up and down with each shallow breath. 

His brain was foggy but his vision was exceedingly clear. He was fascinated by the way his body moved, how one small ripple in one muscle caused another to flex and so on and so forth. 

The contours of his body seemed so sharp in his post orgasm haze, every pull or push, every pulse, every dilation. 

He’d never looked upon himself with such startling clarity before as his shaft started to soften in his hand, it was all becoming clear.

This is my body. I can see it. I can feel it. My body belongs to me. My body doesn’t belong to anyone but me. 

I am whole. I am whole. 

I am Spencer Reid and I am whole. 

He was so lost in his newfound captivation of his own frame, he didn’t hear you enter the lodge or call his name. He also didn’t hear the bedroom door open or your footsteps on the wooden floor.

It wasn’t until your face appeared in the reflection behind him that he registered his company. 

“Uh, hi?” A smirk adorned itself on your features as you regarded him, soft cock in his hand and the distinctive come stains on the mirror. 

You couldn’t stop your gaze flitting up and down his body. You’d never seen him completely naked before, uninhibited, exposed. 

You tried to make a mental note of every dip and curve of his glorious body. He really was a sight to behold.

“Hi,” he replied, returning your smile. 

“Everything okay here?” 

He let go of his length, turned to face you. His pupils were blown out wide. 

“More than okay.” He nodded. 

And suddenly he advanced on you, smashing his lips against yours and not caring in the slightest that he was naked and sticky with his own come. 

He grabbed at you, pawed at you hungrily. His wandering hands got you out of your clothes in no time at all and soon the two of you were falling back to the bed. 

He was on top of you, kissing you with reckless abandon. He could already feel himself growing hard again between your bodies. 

His tongue desperately explored your mouth as though it were the first time, he manoeuvred you both so he was on his back and you were straddling him. 

He hissed as he got an unhindered sight of your breasts as you sat atop him. Needy hands wandered until they were palming them, pinching your nipples between his deft fingers until they stood to attention, not allowing himself to be impeded by his cast. 

You moaned and rocked back and forth on top of him, his hard cock gliding between your folds. Spencer whined and bucked against you. 

He removed his hands, letting his casted arm fall back to his side. His good hand circled around your wrist, gripping it tight and moving your hand so it hovered above his cock.

You stared at him, silently questioning him. Spencer simply nodded in response and let go of your wrist. 

You sucked in a breath, cautious as you lowered your hand closer to his throbbing member. When your hand wrapped around his base he moaned in fervour. 

His eyes rolled back into his skull, back arching off the bed. You slowly started to move your hand up and down around him but he was soon bucking into your hand, setting the pace for you.

His desperation was evident in the surges of his hips snapping back and forth fiercely. His teeth sunk into his bottom lip as his eyes landed on you again. 

He smiled up at you, the ethereal being perched on his thighs whilst working to bring him the utmost pleasure. 

He was whole. He was finally beginning to feel whole. 

***

It was getting late by the time the BAU finally wrapped up in Texas. Luke had agreed with Rossi that he would take one day off to visit Spencer before he joined them back at Quantico. 

Given the hour, Luke intended on getting a hotel for the night in Bandera town. He drove those forty some miles north from San Antonio in his SUV, fingers tapping nervously against the steering wheel as he tuned into a country and western radio station. 

The back seat was full of gifts and cards which Garcia had sent to the police precinct for Luke to deliver to their old friend for his birthday which was just a few days away. 

Luke’s nerves flooded his body, causing his stomach to form into tight knots. The closer he got to Bandera, the more anxious he grew, palms sweating against the wheel. 

He was under no illusion that Spencer would be happy to see him, especially with him showing up unannounced. But in Luke’s defence he had tried to call Spencer several times over the last few days to inform him of his visit. It wasn’t his fault Spencer didn’t answer. 

It was nearing eleven pm by the time Luke arrived in Bandera and try as he might he couldn’t get himself to the hotel. 

He couldn’t wait another minute. He needed to see Spencer now. 

He took the turning off the main road with the directions Garcia had sent him. He drove a little ways up a dirt track until he came to a stop next to another car. 

Killing the engine he frowned himself. He didn’t think Spencer had a car. He supposed he could have purchased one any time. 

He slid out of the SUV, dropping to the dirt and closed the door behind him. There was a small single storey lodge a few hundred yards up on the left. 

There was a light on. 

Luke swallowed, smoothing out his shirt and running his fingers through his hair. His chest swelled with nerves and his legs shook a little as he started towards the lodge. 

***

Spencer’s second orgasm seemed to come quicker than the first, your small, dainty hand bringing him to completion in no time at all. Chest heaving with his breaths, he immediately pulled you down by the back of your neck so he could kiss you. 

He was whole. He was whole. They didn’t win. 

He kissed you fiercely, his come sticky between your bodies but neither of you minded. His hand stayed on the back of your neck, pinning you to him. 

“You’re amazing.” He mumbled against your lips. 

“No, you’re amazing.” You replied. 

You wanted to tell him you were proud of him but you didn’t want to make a big deal of it or have him think you were patronising him. Instead you continued kissing him, grinding your bodies together as you did so. 

Spencer felt like every single one of his nerve endings were on fire. He was overstimulated, he could feel every thread of the sheets beneath him, feel every negligible movement of your body as it moved against his own. 

It was eye opening. He’d forgotten how this was supposed to feel. Intimacy wasn’t meant to make him feel guilty, pleasure wasn’t designed to cause him pain. 

He’d neglected to remember how it should feel. Two bodies coming together, becoming one. Becoming whole. 

He felt as though he could well be floating, his body lighter than air. He needed more. He needed so much more. He needed everything and he needed it with you. 

He gripped the back of your neck firmly, tongue roughly exploring the deepest recesses of your mouth. The sound of heavy breathing filled the room alongside soft moans and the friction of skin on skin. 

And for the second time that night, Spencer didn’t hear the door to his cabin open or the heavy footsteps on his hardwood floor.

***

Worryingly, Luke found the door to Spencer’s lodge was ajar, not quite closed all the way. His hand immediately pressed against the butt of his gun in its holster, ready just in case. In his experience, nothing good came from doors being left open. Least of all way out here in the sticks. 

He hesitantly pushed it open and took a step inside. The space was small and mostly full of books which didn’t surprise him at all. There were a few paper grocery bags on the kitchen counter. Nothing looked out of place or disturbed. 

He let his hand fall back to his side, trying to calm his erratically beating heart. Spencer could be scatty sometimes, perhaps he’d just been in a hurry. There was nothing to panic about. 

He stepped closer towards the closed door past the kitchen, for which he assumed was the bedroom. It was only as he drew closer that he started to register the sounds of heavy breathing.

His first thought was that Spencer might be having a panic attack. He’d had them a lot after prison, Luke knew all too well what they looked like. Perhaps he’d started to have one when he arrived home with groceries, it would explain why the door wasn’t closed properly and why the bags were still on the counter. 

Another wave of unease washed over him and he quickly pushed open the door without a second thought. 

The two bodies on the bed came into view and Luke felt as though the whole world came crumbling down around him in a single second. The body on top with their back to him was definitely female. The body beneath, laying on the bed was obscured from view but Luke would recognise those soft moans anywhere. 

“Wow,” he croaked out the single word as tears flooded his vision. 

Spencer suddenly sat up in bed, glaring at Luke over your shoulder. His mouth fell open, eyes wide in shock at the ghost standing in his doorway.

“L-Luke?” He stuttered. 

“Luke?” You hissed without looking over your shoulder. “As in…?” 

“Hmm.” Spencer nodded. 

You were still in his lap, trying to hide your naked frame against Spencer’s. You needed to leave. You couldn’t be part of this. You swung yourself off of the bed and in one swift move sprinted to the bathroom before you could give this stranger an eyeful. 

You’d left Spencer exposed and he quickly pulled the sheet around his body despite the fact Luke had seen him naked hundreds of times before. He hadn’t seen this version of him though, the one with the cuts and scabs from self abuse. He stared at Luke and Luke and him. Seconds seemed like hours.

He noticed Luke’s gaze flicker down to his arm and his brows pinched together.

“What happened to your arm?” Luke asked in concern. 

Spencer didn’t know whether he meant the cast or the cut on his bicep but he didn’t ask. 

“Riding accident.” Spencer clenched his jaw. “What are you…why are you here?” 

“We were in town for a case. I tried to call, you didn’t answer. The door was open and I thought something might have happened to you.” The hurt in Luke’s voice was palpable and Spencer felt a little guilty that he’d had to walk into this. 

“Uh, lemme get dressed okay? I’ll meet you outside?” Spencer chewed on the tip of his tongue, half thinking his overstimulated brain was imagining the man in front of him. 

Had he given over so entirely to his fantasy that it had begun to feel real? Was this all part of his vivid speculation? Was he in fact still masturbating in front of his mirror? 

No, it was all too real. The sadness in Luke’s eyes, the way his shoulders slumped with the weight of seeing his ex in bed with someone else. The way you’d so hurriedly scampered off to the bathroom. 

This was real life, even if it did feel like a nightmare. 

Luke nodded stiffly and turned about on his heels. Spencer watched his retreating form pad out of the bedroom and close the door behind him. 

Spencer got to his feet and started gathering up his clothes from the floor. He tapped on the bathroom door as he was fighting with his boxers.

“Are you okay?” He called when he got no answer. 

“Your ex is here, what do you think!” You hissed in response. 

“I had no idea he was coming here, Y/N. I didn’t invite him.” He was stuffing his legs back in his jeans, trying to ignore the way the fabric scratched his open wounds. 

“What the hell is he doing here then?” 

“I don’t know! I have no idea.” He grabbed his t-shirt whilst still working on the button of his jeans. “I need to deal with this, hopefully I won’t be long.” 

“Okay.” You whispered, hearing his footsteps head away from the door. 

He pulled the t-shirt down over his torso as he swung open the bedroom door. Through the window in the front door he could see Luke pacing the length of his porch. 

Spencer exhaled, raking his fingers through his hair in an attempt to tame it from his previous activities. He swallowed around his dry tongue and stepped towards the door. 

A frigid burst of air hit him as he stepped outside, joining Luke on the porch. Luke stopped in his tracks and glanced at Spencer. Even in the darkness he could see the tears in Luke’s eyes. 

“So, you’ve moved on, huh?” Luke folded his arms across his chest. 

“It’s been two years, what did you expect?” Spencer shrugged. 

He hated that even after all this time Luke could still cause all the air to leave his lungs. He looked much the same as Spencer remembered in his mind's eye that last time he saw him. He had an extra few creases around his eyes, a few more greys peppering his hairline, but otherwise he remained unchanged.

“What did I expect? Well for starters I expected more from you than leaving without a damn word! I expected that you wouldn’t completely cut me out of your life! I expected…maybe I hoped that I wasn’t the only one still pining like an idiot.” He choked back a sob. “So she gets the healed Spencer Reid? She gets to have you now you’ve worked through your trauma? When I was the one that spent a year by your side after, trying to help you? How is that fair?” 

“You think I’m healed?” Spencer’s voice raised a little. “You think I’ve worked through my trauma?”

“It looks that way to me. I seem to remember the last time I tried to get you into that position you pinned my arm behind my back!” Luke spat. 

“You have no idea what this is like for me.” Spencer shook his head angrily. “She is the first person I have been able to get close to and even still I’m terrified I’m only one second away from breaking down at all times. It’s been four years and this is the closest I’ve come to moving past what happened to me but I am by no means suddenly shiny and new. I haven’t had sex with her, is that what you want to hear? At this point I’m not even sure I can! 

“You can’t just show up here after two years and think you know what I’m going through. I have to take medication every day just so I am not completely crippled by my trauma. I blackout when the stress gets too much, I dissociate because my mind can’t handle the pain. Don’t come here and assume you know what I’m going through. You have no idea.” 

In the bathroom you heard raised voices outside and worried about Spencer’s rising anger and what could happen if he let it get out of control. You snuck back out and found your clothes, quickly redressing and creeping into the living room. 

From the kitchen you could see them through the glass pane in the front door without them being able to see you were watching. You told yourself you weren’t eavesdropping, you just wanted to be ready in case Spencer needed grounding. 

You tucked yourself away in the corner, eyes on the side of Luke’s face. You felt that swell of familiarity again that you couldn’t place. Your fingers kneaded your achy jaw as you listened.

“You were supposed to come back! I gave you time, I gave you space. I thought if I did those things you would come back and we would be okay again.” Luke rubbed his eyes to try and stem his tears.

“That’s not my fault, Luke. I didn’t ever give you a reason to believe that would be the case. I’m sorry I left without telling you, I know I should have said goodbye. But I can’t change that. This is my life now, I have no intentions of coming back to DC. I’m sorry if you thought that I would, but I never gave any indication that I would.” Spencer rubbed his hand on his jeans, focusing on the rough texture. 

He needed to stay tethered, he couldn’t let the anger bubble and cause his mind to detach. 

“Did you love me?” Luke’s voice pitched. “Did you ever really love me like you said you did?” 

You knew that voice, you were sure of it. You just couldn’t place it. 

“How can you even ask me that?” Spencer softened. “Of course I did.” 

“But it was easier for you to run away than try and make things work with the man you supposedly loved?” Luke exhaled. 

“I had to leave. After everything that happened, after Merva, it was just too much. I needed to get away from DC, away from it all.” Spencer sniffed loudly. 

“You could have talked to me instead of running away, Spencer. It’s what I was there for. But you never talked to me.” 

“I couldn’t talk to you, Luke. I couldn’t talk to anyone. I just wanted to forget.” Spencer’s eyes filled with tears and he rubbed his palm roughly against his thigh, focused on the material of his jeans. 

“You know I know what happened right?” Luke shrugged. “I know what happened to you in prison. I read the medical reports.” 

Spencer froze. His rampant rubbing of his thigh stopped, he felt like his breathing stopped. He glared at Luke while he processed his words. 

He’d read the report. He’d known all along. 

Inside your brows pinched together. Prison? Spencer was in prison? Surely you must have the wrong end of the stick? Spencer did not seem like the type. There must be something you were missing. 

“You…how could you?” Spencer croaked. “How could you do that to me?” 

“You wouldn’t talk to me. I was worried about you.” 

“Worried? You were worried? So you invaded my privacy? Those reports were not your concern Luke! I figured Prentiss would have to see them but you…I can’t believe you would do that to me.” Spencer’s voice raised again and felt the anger in his stomach. 

Deep breaths, take deep, calming breaths. One, two, three, four, five. One, two, three, four, five. Feel something beneath your hand, ground yourself. This will be okay. One, two, three, four, five.

“Maybe if you’d talked to me I wouldn’t have felt the need to.” Luke didn’t know why he was trying to justify himself, he knew what he’d done was wrong. “How did you ever get cleared to come back to work? You were clearly struggling.” 

“Oh please, we wrote those questions. You think after fifteen years of profiling I didn’t know the right things to say to the bureau shrink so she would reinstate me?” Spencer clucked. 

“Did you ever tell her you were ra-”

“Don’t you dare you say it.” Spencer cut him off. “Don’t you dare.” 

Your head was spinning with the new information. Prison. Profiling. Bureau? What did this all mean? Your cell phone was on the counter next to the bags and you reached for it before hiding back in your corner. The arguing continued outside while you brought up a Google search. 

Spencer Reid + bureau

Within less than a second, hundreds of search results popped up on the little screen, articles upon articles. You quickly skim read some of the search results as your hand shook around the device. 

The youngest academy graduate recruited to the FBI’s illustrious Behavioral Analysis Unit, twenty two year old Doctor Spencer Reid…

With his three PhD’s, and IQ of 187, SSA Doctor Spencer Reid was hand picked by BAU founder Jason Gideon…

After a high speed chase in Mexico the FBI’s Behavioural Analysis Unit are on the scene. It’s thought that a member of the team is involved…

BAU Member SSA Doctor Spencer Reid acquitted of charges against him…

Hostage situation involving two members of the BAU…no further information is known at this time…

Your head swam. Your stomach lurched. This couldn’t be true, yet it was here in black and white. 

You were sleeping with the enemy. The sweet, kind cowboy you’d rescued from the desert was a former FBI Agent. 

Three PhD’s? An IQ of 187? Doctor? 

What the fuck was going on? You knew there were things he hadn’t told you but did you know him at all? And what led to an FBI agent going to prison? And what happened to him in prison that Luke had ascertained from his medical records?

You felt dizzy. You pushed yourself back up against the wall so you wouldn’t collapse. Luke’s raised voice brought you back around.

“You could have told me! I would have understood, I could have helped!” 

“No one can help me! Why don’t you understand that?” Spencer yelled back. 

“She seemed to be doing a fine job.” Luke scoffed, nodding his head towards the door.

“Goddamnit, would you let that go?” 

“Let it go? How the hell can I let that go? Every time I close my eyes I will see her on top of you!” Luke threw his arms up into the air. 

“I’m sorry I couldn’t be stronger, okay? I’m sorry I pushed you away. But I am finally starting to move past what happened to me. I’m sorry I couldn’t do that for you but Y/N is…she makes me feel like I can heal. And I need that Luke, I need to heal.” Spencer sniffed again, feeling his tears dangerously close to falling.

Luke didn’t appear to be listening though, his brows pinched together as he rolled something over in his mind.

“Did you say Y/N?” He rubbed the side of his neck. 

Your back went rigid. Hearing him say your name dislodged something distant in the back of your mind.

“Have you seen this woman? Her name is Y/N. Y/N Y/L/N and we have reason to believe she’s been seen in this area.”

“Yeah, why?” Spencer’s voice broke through your memory. 

“I…I’m not sure.” Luke looked deep in thought. “Can I…? One sec.” 

Spencer watched in confusion as Luke turned and headed down the stairs towards his SUV. He wrapped his good arm around himself in protection and to stave off the cold night. 

“Have you seen this woman? Her name is Y/N. Y/N Y/L/N and we have reason to believe she’s been seen in this area.”

“I don’t know nothing, ‘bout nothing.” 

“Can you take a closer look at her photo ma’am? Your neighbour seems to think she’s been staying here.”

“Again, I don’t know nothing, ‘bout nothing.” 

“Would you mind if we took a look around?”

“You got a warrant?” 

“No…”

“Then get the hell off of my property.”

Magnolia Springs, Alabama. Mrs Royce, the kindly old woman for whom your mother had been best friends with all throughout childhood. She’d offered you a place to stay after you escaped custody. That was until her nosy neighbour recognised you from the wanted posters. 

You’d buried your mom’s money under a tree in the wooded area behind her house and watched from a distance as two FBI Agents had come to her home to question her. Even though she hadn’t seen your mother in more years than she could count, Mrs Royce was fiercely loyal, and hadn't said a word. 

You hadn’t had a great vantage point for which to see the agents, only caught small glimpses of them from where you hid in the back of the house. But they’d introduced themselves as -

- Agents Phil Brooks and Luke Alvez. 

Luke was hurrying back from his car with a manilla folder and Spencer stayed stock still while he awaited him. Luke opened the folder and pulled out a sheet of paper which he proffered to Spencer as soon as he was close enough. 

“What is this?” Spencer frowned at the paper.

“Is this the woman? I only saw her from the back. She coulda changed her hair? Is this her?” Luke jabbed a finger at the photograph in the corner of the page. “She escaped from a max security facility a few weeks ago. Phil called me.” 

To Spencer’s credit, no matter how many years it had been since he’d needed to to use his poker face, he was still an expert at it. His expression didn’t even so much as flinch as he looked at the photograph of you on Luke’s printout. 

He was right, you had changed your hair. But it was without a doubt you looking back at him from that mugshot. He glanced away, back at Luke and shook his head.

“No.” He lied. “I’ve never seen this woman before.” 

Luke’s eyes narrowed in scrutiny, watching for any little twitch, any tiny hint that Spencer was keeping something from him. But the truth was, even though they had dated and Luke thought he knew Spencer better than anyone, he never could read Spencer. 

“You wouldn’t lie to me would you, Spencer? Because this woman is dangerous, and if you’re lying to me, that’s harbouring a fugitive. I don’t need to tell you that comes with a prison sentence.” Luke observed again. 

Even at the mention of prison, Spencer’s features didn’t change. 

“I’m telling you Luke, I don’t know this woman.” He waved the paper in front of him. “I’m sorry, I can’t help you.”

Your own brows pinched together. You peered out the window to see the paper in Spencer’s hand but it was too dark to see exactly what was on it. But you were certain he would know it was you in the photograph. So why was he lying? 

“Right, I’m just being paranoid I guess.” Luke huffed, snatching the paper back from Spencer.

“I think you should go Luke, it's late and you shouldn’t have come here.” Spencer returned his arm to its position wrapped around him. 

“I’m staying down the road for the night. Maybe we can meet tomorrow for coffee or something?” Luke tucked the file under his arm.

“No,” Spencer shook his head. “I don’t want this Luke. I moved out here for a reason, to get away from my life in DC. To get away from…from…”

“From me?” Luke croaked. 

“From everyone.” Spencer corrected him. “You will always have a place in my heart, Luke. I did love you but I’m not the same man I was when we started dating and I’m never going to be him again. You have to let me go, Luke, please? Please just let me go.” 

Luke wanted to argue, he wanted to argue with every fibre of his being. He didn’t drive all the way out here to have it end like this. 

But Spencer’s sad eyes and downturned lips forced him to bite his tongue. Spencer had been through an immeasurable amount of trauma and he was just trying to make it through to the otherside. Luke couldn't help him, he tried, but he’d failed. Perhaps the best thing for Spencer’s wellbeing was for Luke to walk away, to let him go once for and for all. 

Luke huffed a breath out through his nose and took a few steps backwards. He navigated the steps whilst never taking his eyes off of Spencer. 

“I wish it could have been different.” Luke’s first tear fell and he didn’t try to hide it. “You were the love of my life.” 

“I know.” Spencer scrunched his face up as he felt his own tears ready to escape. 

“But I wasn’t yours.” Luke spoke for him with a weak shrug of his shoulders. “I want you to be happy, Spencer, it’s all I’ve ever wanted. Just promise me you’ll check in? I’m not asking for daily phone calls or anything like that but please stop ignoring me when I reach out. I’d really like to still be a part of your life even if only in a small capacity.” 

“That, uh, sounds reasonable.” Spencer nodded. 

“And call Penelope more. She worries about you more than anyone.” Luke shrugged, still walking backwards toward the SUV. 

“I will.” He nodded, swallowed thickly. But he was sure if you were who he now knew you to be, he’d never be able to talk to any of his old team ever again.

He felt overcome with discomfort. The goodbye he’d avoided two years ago now here at his feet. Spencer didn’t like goodbyes, it was why he’d left without them the first time. 

Goodbyes were endings. Full stops. The closing of a book. Spencer had wanted to keep the story open, unfinished, just in case he ever had the impetus to write that final chapter. But it had been penned for him. Luke had snatched the metaphorical pen from his hand by coming here and effectively completed their story. 

“Uh, goodbye then I guess.” Luke shrugged as he reached the car. 

“G-goodbye, Luke.” Spencer whispered. 

The book slammed shut. Or perhaps it was the car door. Either way, Spencer Reid and Luke Alvez’s story had come to its bitter end. 

He stood on the porch and watched as Luke started the engine before putting the vehicle in reverse. He continued to observe as the headlights cast an eerie glow on his land as the SUV turned around. He still just stood there as Luke’s car took to the dirt track back to the main road and soon vanished from sight. 

He huffed out a breath, rubbed his eyes to disperse the tears before turning to the door and practically throwing it open. He marched inside and found you in the corner of the kitchen, back pressed up against the wall. You’d been listening, of course you had. 

Spencer stayed on his side of the kitchen counter, worried what he might do if he came too close to you. He needed the barrier between you. He slammed his good hand on the counter top but you didn’t even flinch. His eyes were manic as they looked at you, large and wild. His chest was heaving erratically.

He opened his mouth several times to speak but the words kept getting stuck in his dry throat. Minutes of painful silence stretched between you while you kept your eyes on each other. 

Eventually Spencer sucked in a sharp breath, his jaw set in a tight line when he finally spoke. 

“Who the fuck are you?” He spat the words like venom on his tongue. 

You straightened yourself, squared your shoulders as if it might somehow intimidate him. When you spoke it was with equal malevolence. 

“I was going to ask you the same thing, SSA Doctor Spencer Reid.”  

More silence followed, reaching out into the sparse caverns that gorged their way between you. The wicked talons of the unspoken words weaved around you, wrapping you both in their icy clutches. 

You were both acutely aware that whatever conversation was about to transpire between you would inevitably make or break this fledgling relationship. You were no longer who you had been just hours before. A lonely cowboy and a weary traveller no more. All that remained was an FBI Agent and a Fugitive. 

It seemed inescapable that this could only end in one of two ways -

Either he called the cops on you and you were thrown back in prison, having the key thrown away and left to rot for the rest of your life behind bars. Or one of you would wind up dead. 

And you were not going back to prison. 

@kalulakunundrum @small-and-violent @voledart @katrina0-0 @bakugouswh0r3 @prettyboyandthefangirl @zooni92802 @mavellover1819 @babyspiderling

#spencer reid #spencer reid smut #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid x fem! reader #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/n #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction

[bloodhoundluke]

for the love of strange medicine ✧ luke hemmings

pairing: luke hemmings x friend! reader

description: luke loves y/n in secret and his flirty comments make y/n's head spin. after calum's party, y/n finally gets an answer to luke's strange behavior.

warnings: alcohol consumption, cursing. please let me know if there’s anything else.

word count: 2,7k. a/n: hi there! this won the poll, the title was supposed to be 'it's impossible to ignore you' but i like for the love of strange medicine more :) i'm a bit rusty so please forgive me <33 and because i loved writing this so much, i think i'll do a pt. 2 to this!

The Californian sky was covered in haze that one Thursday. Luke stared at the cafe arguably named after a Steve Perry song: For the Love of Strange Medicine. It was fitting since Luke basically considered coffee to be his medicine, not to mention the delicious pretzels he had bought from the very same cafe a few days ago.

Luke rubbed his eyes and yawned, taking in the last smokes of the cigarette he had been inhaling on for the last three minutes. He swore to himself that it would be the last day he'd smoke. It wasn't. He pulled his phone out: 6:58am. He hated early mornings, and he hated how the cafe still wasn't open. Two more minutes, he told himself. He was growing impatient. Maybe it was the stress of recording a new album, maybe it was the fight he had with the manager last night.

When the clock hit 7am, you opened up the cafe. You gave Luke a soft yet tiresome smile which screamed It’s too damn early for this and he returned the favor. Luke saw the name tag on your black t-shirt: Y/N.

As time went by, Luke visited the cafe several times in an attempt to see your face again. To his misfortune, you weren’t working during any of those shifts. You had cut down your hours because of the intense lecture schedule. Luckily for Luke, you bumped into each other at a local festival while you both were watching Green Day play.

Your and Luke's friend groups emerged that night and you enjoyed his company too much for your own liking. You didn’t do men. You didn’t hang around them. Not even as friends. They all caused trouble for you. But with him, everything was different somehow. The night ended with you and Luke in your hotel room. There was nothing sexual about that night if not counting your lingering gazes at each other. You and Luke stayed up until seven in the morning, sharing your love of Green Day and Stranger Things, and talking about everything and nothing at the same time.

Luke and you started to grow closer since spending time together. It had been nearly 3 months since you had met and you felt as if you've known him for your whole life. Then Luke went on tour and he didn't want to believe he couldn't see your face as frequently anymore. You made him feel seen and most importantly, safe.

One time Ashton, Calum and Michael caught Luke looking at your Instagram pictures before a show. The boys couldn’t let it go and stop teasing about the way he was biting his lip nervously while scrolling through your Instagram page. Luke convinced them there was nothing to tease about. You were just friends, and that’s the way it would always be. Your lives were so different from each other; you, a part-time barista and a university student and Luke, a touring rockstar. It could never work.

You tried to forget your feelings for your friend, you really did. But you couldn't. Every corner of your flat and everyone you met reminded you of Luke. Even if it was someone’s blonde hair or a tiny detail in their jacket. Everyday activities such as going grocery shopping which you normally enjoyed couldn’t get him off your mind. You’d see the Australian-grown coffee beans. Boom, Luke. Lavender-scented laundry detergent he used. Luke again. And the fact that Luke texted you every day didn't help in the process of trying to forget the feelings you had for him.

—❦

You were attending a party tonight. But not just any party, Calum's party. His parties were known for a good time and endless bottles of free booze.

You wiggled on your black leather dress, which you had just bought. It barely covered your knees and you loved how it hugged you from all the right places. The combo of the leather dress, red lipstick and curly hair gave you all the confidence you needed to go out tonight and see Luke. Yes, he was your friend but you still felt nervous around him. And you blamed him for that. His James Dean glossy eyes and irresistibly long curly hair. His charm and his stupid dad jokes. You were whipped for him and it was a wonder no one around you noticed that. Or that’s what you thought anyway. 

You recall the last time you had seen Luke. He had called you and asked to pick him up from his apartment a week ago. You knocked on his door and saw him with someone. A tall, gorgeous woman. Seeing the model-looking brunette beside Luke made your stomach flip. He seemed so happy with his arms around her waist. Maybe he had met her when he was on tour. You greeted them both and bit the insides of your cheek. That memory reminded you of the time you were helping him to pick out an outfit for him for his date a few weeks ago. Maybe it was for her. He had just returned back home from the tour and the poor man was all over the place. Maybe it was nerves, maybe he was just tired from touring. You imagined how Luke would get ready for your date and ask for assistance from Ashton, Michael and Calum. But that would never happen, so you snapped out of the thought. You were only hurting yourself by having these thoughts. You were such a fool for him, and you didn't know how to make it stop.

You sat down on top of your bed and decided to check Instagram on your phone. “He’s so pretty I think I’m gonna faint”, you whispered mainly just to yourself. 

“Who are you talking about?”, your friend heard your little comment and frowned their eyebrows.

“Uh….maybe I’ll keep it a secret”, you winked.

“C’mon Y/N!”.

“Okay, I was talking about Timothée Chalamet. He looks so pretty”, was the lie you came up with. You couldn’t tell them you were talking about Luke. You had just seen his new Instagram photo and can’t get over his pretty blue eyes. And his curly locks. And that god-damn jawline. And his….well, everything.

“I know right! Maybe we should go watch the new movie so we’ll have some eye candy”, your friend winked.

“It’s a date”, you laughed.

You were still waiting for Luke to pick you and your two friends up. But he was late, like he always was. You had lectured him about his tendency to be late countless times. But he could never learn, could he? It was needless to say that you were pissed off. 

Twenty minutes rolled by and Luke finally showed up. He offered his apologies to you and your friends. Your friends had already gone out and got themselves seated in the car, while you and Luke were still inside of your flat. Luke needed hairspray to lock his hair in place. Then Luke made his way to the hallway while you were checking that you had everything necessary with you. That one time you forgot your keys back home still haunted you, hence you had to double-check everything now.

“You got everything?”, Luke held the door open for you and the button of his already opened black and white star-patterned collar shirt popped off. “Oops”, he chuckled to himself. He didn’t bother to fix it. Not when he noticed you basically drooling over him. 

“Yeah”, you answered nonchalantly and avoided eye contact with him. You had been on the edge the whole day and Luke being late didn’t exactly make you feel any better.

“I hate that you’re mad at me, but you look so hot right now”, he smirked at you. Luke was always like this with you. He flirted with you and you flirted back when it felt natural. But since he started to hang around the brunette woman - whose name you didn’t even know - you started to think that maybe you should stop flirting back. But you didn’t know if they were exclusive or not. Luke didn’t exactly bother to open up about the romance department in his life. Not to you anyway. 

“Thanks. I like your hair”, you commented. You noted how he saw you fiddling with your bracelet. It was the one Luke won from Push A Prize that one Saturday night in July. Its pearls were your favorite color, blue.

“Don’t you think it’s a bit too long?”.

“I think it’s good”.

“Just good? Don’t you mean gorgeous? Perfect?”, the blonde rockstar snarked.

“Shut up”, you slapped his hand gently and giggled.

"You okay?", he asked quietly as you were still fiddling with the bracelet.

"Yep, let's go", you gave Luke a small smile and received a nod in return. You took the passenger seat and he sat next to you and fired the engine.

“Took long enough”, one of your friends commented. “Blame Luke and his Prince Charming hair”, you rolled your eyes and looked at your friends in the backseat, and then at the man beside you.

"Geez, thanks for throwing me under the bus", Luke answered sarcastically, tapped the steering wheel with his fingers and turned the music up. Nickelback, of course.

You arrived at Calum’s house. You were walking side to side with the blondie, hand in hand. It was natural. You gravitated towards each other all the time, but you took it as a sign that you felt comfortable with him. Not just anyone could make you feel this way. 

“We’re in public, you know that right?”, you asked him as he was still holding your hand. You couldn't even count the times people mistook you for a couple, and doing these kinds of things that could be seen as couple-y felt a bit odd for you sometimes.

“Yup”, he popped the p and offered you a cheeky grin.

“So why are you still holding my hand?”, you genuinely asked Luke whose eyes were fixated on the crowd of people mingling.

“Don’t want you to get lost. I know you’re bad at taking directions”, he smirked and saw you looking at him with a questionable look. Those words sounded like honey and you hated yourself for it. Oh, only if he wasn’t as charming as he was. It would make everything so much easier for you.

“Right”, you laughed it off and rolled your eyes. It’s not like you haven’t been to Calum’s house a million times before…

“You should wear that dress more often”, he cooed confidently into your ear and let go of your hand. 

“Okay, Mr. Leather Pants”, you laughed and avoided his eye contact. You disappeared into the sea of people and fixed yourself a drink. You didn't really know what to think about Luke's behavior. He was flirtier than usual and you couldn't pinpoint why. The next few hours were spent by dancing with your friends and having conversations with drunken strangers.

—❦

Later, you noticed Luke navigating through the crowd to get to you. He spent a few minutes explaining how his leather boots got stuck in the mud in Europe while touring and how you would have laughed your ass off if you had seen that. Then, the unimaginable happened and he started spinning you around the dance floor. He had always been a fun drunk, that's for sure. He dropped you down carefully from the air and his hands laid comfortably on your waist. But not for long as the upbeat song shifted into a slow one, a shortened version of Give Me Love by Ed Sheeran. Shit.

You wrapped your hands around his neck almost intuitively. “Fuck it, let’s show them how to dance”, you lifted your left eyebrow and thought of how your hands will be sweaty in under a minute. Or twenty seconds, if you were being completely honest.

Luke placed his ring-covered hands, noticeably bigger than yours, back to your waist. “We’re so much better at this than these amateurs”, he looked deeply into your eyes and it felt like he scanned every little feature in your face. It felt intimidating. Being that close to Luke. Being that close with Luke.

“You should definitely consider Dancing with the Stars”, you commented and smiled as you intertwined your fingers behind his neck.

“You reckon?”, his eyes lit up and it's like you could almost see a blush creeping upon his cheeks.

“I see the UK accent has made a mark on you. Has a nice ring to it”, you confessed as you slow danced with your best friend.

“Thanks to you, ms. English Love Affair", Luke gave you a dirty look and chuckled semi-nervously afterwards.

"Oh, you wish", you replied with a nervous giggle and you two continued dancing in silence.

—❦

At 3am the party seems to die out and as usual, Luke walks you to your apartment. About half of the 15 minute walk you have talked about utter nonsense, like how many squirrels Luke saw during the tour and how many latte macchiatos you did during the time he was away.

“Can I ask you a question?", you asked as your heels clacked along the concrete.

“Sure”, Luke answers almost instantly, coughing afterwards.

“You were flirting with me the whole night and…”, you started your monologue which you had planned during the party.

“That’s not a question”, he interrupted and gave you a wink.

“Let me finish, you dumbass”, you answered, your tone being a mixture of playful and irritated.

He zipped his mouth and smiled back at you. You were standing in the front of your apartment, feeling a little cold in the chilly autumn air.

“I just wonder…why?”.

“Don’t we do that, like, all the time?”, he chuckled and stared down at his hands, then scanning your face for a while.

“I guess so, yeah. But it’s innocent. It wasn’t like that today. Or am I crazy? Am I imagining this? Please tell me it was just my imagination, I can- ”, you explained and could already feel how humiliated you'd feel soon.

“I don’t really like to tell you to shut up, but just for once, shhh Y/N. It wasn’t just you”, he took a step closer to you and placed a strand of your hair behind your ear. “I like you. Definitely have for a while. Maybe the whole time I’ve known you. I like spending time with you. You are the funniest person I know. And you give the best fashion advice. And beneath that sarcastic exterior is such a soft and empathetic soul. You don’t brag about your kindness, which makes it real. And I could talk to you for hours and never get bored. And for you, I would do the dishes happily. Believe it or not, no one has ever managed to bring out that side of me”, he chuckled as you remain speechless. His sudden declaration of love - well maybe not love, interest perhaps - made you grin like a child who just got a new toy.

“And shit, Y/N, I just adore you. And the way your laugh reminds me of home. I lo-, like how you play with your earrings when you are nervous. It’s adorable. And I-”,

“I don’t need to hear a novel of how much you like me, Luke”, you interrupted him.

“I know, but you deserve it”, he spoke softly and his lips turned into the classic Luke smile, which you found incredibly sweet.

“Save it for later”, you took a long look at those eyes that reminded you of the ocean and down to his pink and plump lips which you had dreamt of kissing for so long. 

And then it happened. His lips were pressed against yours, making the time stop for a while. And his hands in your hair, tugging them slightly, not enough to hurt. Your fingers held the waistband of his pants. The way he moved his lips against yours was hungry, desperate, full of emotion he had never been able to release. It was electric, enough to make you release a little moan into his mouth.

“What the fuck is happening here?”, you heard all of the sudden and both of you turned to see none other than the Michael Clifford pressed against the door.

“And what the fuck are you doing in my apartment?”.

© 2023 bloodhoundluke.

#luke hemmings imagine #luke hemmings fanfic #luke 5sos #luke hemmings fluff #luke fanfiction #my writing #5sos fanfic #5sos imagine #luke hemmings x reader #luke hemmings x y/n #luke hemmings x you

[mouse-fantoms]

Absolutely one asked for this but I wanna say what all my favorite outfits are per character is bc I can!

First up, Miss Julie herself, the other day I said I can’t get over how pretty she is in this look so this isn’t that much of a surprise but I mean,

The shade of blue is so pretty on her and the illustration on her shirt is so cute. What also makes this look get double points too from me is bc of the whole how at the start Julie is in baggy clothes bc it’s a reflection of like her grief and where she is with it but then as the episodes continue her clothes get more personalized and like less baggy idk it’s just such a nice little detail and this is such a cute outfit to have be in the last episode for Julie that reflects where she is now with her grief since the boys are in her life now.

My absolute favorite Luke outfit is his llama jacket look,

You’re just used to seeing him in the black background color graphic tees with him and so to see him in this like lighter version of his wardrobe is nice. This one is also my favorite of his lil llama jacket 🥺 observe,

He’s got a llama on his pocket therefore it’s his llama jacket. Also too the jacket just looks so cozy, I mean all his jackets look incredibly comfortable (LOOKIN AT YOU SAD FLANNEL) but it’s easier to see the like individual like threads of it bc it’s white it just looks extra cozy.

My favorite Reggie outfit has to be this variation of his wardrobe,

Don’t get me started on the little detail that it’s implied through his outfits that he’s only got a couple things he can wear bc he always like reusing different things from his other outfits like he only has a rotation of a few things (that is a detail that implies so much about his character and like background of him and ugh I just love it but again don’t get me started). The white t-shirt with his red flannel just is like yes a basic look but idk he just suits it really well. (I love too how his belt matches his bass strap we love the coordination)

Call me basic but I love Alex’s debut outfit that we see,

Again he also just looks cozy with the hoodie and then also the denim material like jacket over it, I like the layering of it and like the distressed part of the jacket adds to it like it’s a good look, it makes it interesting to look at bc of the distress-ness in it. I like that he wears his Fanny pack across his body it’s a good look for him.

Naturally after Alex we have to discuss Willie, I love his lil sweater paws outfit,

This look of his is the closest to my personal choice of wardrobe so that’s probably why I like it as much as I do 😂 that hoodie just looks so comfy and oversized on him. To me too, him having this hoodie just implies that like Alex and him can share their hoodies WHICH IS JUST ADORABLE

My favorite Carrie fit is her like lounging at home look,

THE COLORS OF HER JACKET ARE SO GOOD TOGETHER AND THE DESIGN IS LIKE A SCRIBBLE LOOKING PATTERN ITS SO CUTE AND THEN HER SHIRT SAYS ROYALTY LIKE WHAT A QUEEN MOVE

…ahem

The colors of this one just compliment really well together and I like her shirt, it’s very Carrie of her. This also does indeed give the feeling of an outfit you’d wear to just like relax in.

Lastly, hear me out on this one for Nick,

I like the coordination of hat that matches his hoodie. Like he put thought into at least what hat he’d wear with this which I respect. And like again the hoodie with his jean jacket he just looks warm and comfy in it (Also he doesn’t have that many outfit options compared to how many the others had but this is my top out of them all for his)

#I just Ike looking coziness and feelin cozy is what we’ve gathered here today I think 🥰 #I mean my own personal style is just like graphic tees and hoodies to express my interests so maybe that adds up to why certain looks are #my favorite when it comes to them #jatp #julie and the phantoms #jatp netflix #julie molina #luke patterson #reggie molina #reggie peters #alex mercer #carrie wilson #jatp Nick #jatp Carrie

[swissboyhisch]

I'd Marry You Tomorrow

Pairing: Luke Hughes x Reader

Summary: As a precautionary measure, you follow through with the doctor suggestion to collect eggs. It wasn't as an easy process as you thought.

Word Count: 2115

Warnings: Ultrasounds, surgery, hospitals, doctors, fertility.

A/N: This is Part 3 of my mini series. Part 1: Don't Want To Lose You + Part 2: Will You Be There When I Wake Up?

THE MASTERLIST JOIN THE TAGLIST HOCKEY DISCORD

Fertility. Something you hadn’t thought about much up until this whole situation came up. Or discussed kids with Luke. You’re only 19. But with the likelihood of the tumour coming back, doctors referred you to a fertility specialist. Now you have to go through the process of collecting eggs. And freezing them. For if or when you have to have your other ovary removed in the future. As a backup plan.

The first appointment after your post-op check-up was a consultation with the fertility specialist, Dr. Hartman. The best fertility specialist in New Jersey. He explained the situation in more detail and discussed the whole process, what medications you’d be taking and the retrieval procedure. 

Before the next appointment with your specialist, you had to get a few blood tests and some ultrasounds done. Including internal ultrasounds. Just some tests to make sure you were all healthy and had no undiagnosed STDs. When the results came back, your specialist went over them with you. Once it was declared you were healthy enough to go through with the procedure the date was booked. Well rough date since it depended on your period. 

You woke up one morning to Luke gently shaking you. “Bub, you got your period.”

“Nooo,” You groan. Sure it wasn’t the first time you’ve woken up to having your period, but it was still embarrassing when Luke would be home for this exact scenario. You got up from bed carefully and glanced back to the bed with another groan. It looked like a murder scene. “I’ll clean that up after my shower.”

“Don’t worry bub, I’ll clean it up,” Luke mutters. 

He pressed a kiss to your temple and gently pushed you in the direction of the bathroom. You stripped your clothes and dumped them in the washing basket. Why couldn’t you have gotten it during the day? The shower was warm as you climbed under the stream of water. Hot water soothes your body, waking you up from your morning sleep daze. You go through your morning shower routine. 

Luke peeks into the bathroom, watching you as you dry yourself. “Do you need to call the clinic?” 

“Yeah, I do.”

Once you had finished getting dressed, you grabbed your phone and called the clinic. You informed them you had started your period. They made sure to remind you about the blood test you had to take before going to buy all your hormone injections and medications. Luke had changed the sheets like the angel he is. He had a morning skate though. Luckily the arena was right by a clinic so you tagged along. 

While Luke was training, you got the blood test done and brought the 5 different drugs you needed for the process. Of course that didn’t take that long so you put the medications in a fridge at the arena before finding a seat to watch the boys. Luke spotted you reasonably quick, winking at you as he skated by. After that some of the other players waved hi. Jack got excited and started teasing Luke like the big brother he was.

Later that day while you and Luke were getting ready for the game that night, your phone rang. It was the clinic telling you the amount of hormones to inject daily. 112.5. 

“I start the injections tomorrow,” You tell Luke as you hold out his beanie. You often helped Luke with his suits. “I have to choose a time and do it at the same time every day.”

Luke frowned, grabbing your face and pulling you in for a kiss. “We’ll get through this.”

“I want it over and done with. I’m sick of medical appointments.”

“Last one,” Luke assures. 

You shrug, “We don’t know that. My ovary is a ticking time bomb basically.”

“I’m not going anywhere. I’d marry you tomorrow.”

That last sentence had become a regular thing said recently between you and Luke. Something he’d say to reassure you through this whole crazy journey. No matter how many times he had said it, you still get the warm fuzzies when you hear those words. And you weren’t alone, when you replied, copying his words, Luke would grin and blush. 

The next day was the first day of your injections. You had chosen a time that wouldn’t interfere with your schedule and the majority of Lukes. Sure it didn’t matter but Luke wanted to be home when you took your medication. It was a little peace of mind. Your alarm went off and you went to grab the box from the fridge. You set your amount on the roller and cap it with one of the needles. Luke stood beside you watching what you do carefully. 

“Are you okay?” he asks, eyeing the needle.

You took a moment to try to build up the courage. “I think so.”

“Do you want me to do it?” Luke asks.

“No, it’s okay. I can do it.”

You disinfect the sight on your stomach before grabbing at it. After taking a moment to calm yourself, you push the needle into the flesh. You push down the button and hold it there for 3 seconds before pulling it out. It didn’t hurt as much as you assumed it would. 

Luke pressed a kiss to your cheek as he held out your needle container, “So brave.”

The same thing repeated day in and day out. Every Monday, Wednesday and Friday you went to get blood tests first thing in the morning. In the middle of your second week into treatment you had to start getting an internal ultrasound to check the size of the follicles. 

You came home from one of your ultrasounds to the lounge room set up for a movie date. Snacks covering the coffee table, the couch drowned in your favourite blankets and pillows and your favourite movie pulled up on the TV. In a vase on the coffee table too was a bouquet of your favourite flowers. 

“Lu?”

He came out from the kitchen in a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie. In his arms though was a homemade pizza. Just like when you and the family would have pizza nights during the off season. It seemed to be your favourite too, pepperoni.

“Welcome home bub,” Luke grins. 

You blush, walking into his arms after he put down the pizza. “Thank you for this.”

“You’ve had a rough week. I think you deserve a relaxing day.”

After you change from your outfit into some comfy clothes, including one of Luke’s UMich hoodies, you both set yourself up on the couch. The movie played while the pair of you gorged on food and snacks. The horror Luke’s dietitian would have if he saw the scene right now. Cuddling really was the best medicine. 

You hadn’t realised your mental health had gone down hill over the last week. But Luke could see how withdrawn you had gotten. He knew that it could be one of the side effects of all the hormones being pumped into your body. He was there at all your appointments, he had listened intently.

“I love you Lu,” You mumble as you snuggle into Luke’s side. 

Luke wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into your side. “I love you more.”

Later that week, after one of your internal ultrasounds, you got the call to take the trigger injection. One last needle. It was a relief taking that last injection knowing you wouldn’t have to deal with any needles yourself for a good while.

The day finally came in which you would be having your surgery to collect your eggs. Luke was away on a road trip, having left the day before. You two had argued about him missing the road trip. He wanted to stay. To be by your side as you went into surgery and to be there when you wake up.  You said that you’d be okay, it wasn’t your first surgery. Luke relented. Agreeing to go but only if Ellen could make it to be with you.

Ellen arrived the night before and was going to take you to the hospital in which you’d be having the surgery at. You had a small back packed with a pair of clothes and a charger, just in case you went in later than was said. 

“Are you sure you don’t want me to wait here?” Ellen asked as you filled out the 10 pages of paperwork.

“It’s fine Ellen. I’ll call you when I’m ready to be released.”

After a little back and forth, Ellen relented and pressed a kiss to the top of your head before watching you head back to your room. You placed all your things in the lockable cupboard and changed into the hospital gown. As you waited for your time slot, you just read a book. The sound of your ringtone interrupted you.

“Hey,” You greet as you answer Luke’s facetime.

Luke smiled, “Hey bub, how are you feeling?”

“I’m good. Tired but ready to get this over with.”

“I’ll be back later tonight,” Luke sighed. 

“Okay Lu.”

After getting to talk for a bit, and Jack popping in to say hi, you promised each other you’d speak after surgery once you're home. You had roughly an hour until your estimated surgery time. At least your book was interesting. You read until a nurse knocked at your door.

“Are you ready?”

“Yeah,” you answer, putting all your belongings into the cupboard. 

You were wheeled into pre-surgery soon after. It was weird, most of the women you saw around getting the same procedure done were older than you. Isolating. That's how it felt. As you laid waiting to go in, you thought of Luke. He hadn’t left. You weren’t actually alone.

When you woke up after surgery, you were greeted by a nurse standing in the room taking your vitals.

“Hi,” you mumble as you shuffle around in the bed.

The woman smiled, “How do you feel?”

“Fine, I don’t feel any cramping.”

“You’ve still got the drugs in your system. But make sure to get the painkillers on your way home.”

Ellen was called and you were discharged from the hospital by lunch time. On the way home you stopped by the pharmacy to pick up the meds and then brought some lunch. You got back to your apartment where Ellen set you up on the couch with your food and a huge bottle of water. You got a reply from Luke before a Facetime call popped up.

“Heya Lu.”

“Hey bub, how you feel?”

You hum, “I’ve got strong drugs so not the worst.”

“And the surgery?”

“Went smoothly,” You answered. “Looking forward to the game?” 

Luke nodded, “Yeah, got a good feeling about tonight.”

“You’ll win Lu,” You reassure. 

“And when you wake up tomorrow, I’ll be right there beside you.”

“I love you Luke.”

Luke blushed, “I love you too. I’d marry you tomorrow.”

With that you both ended the call knowing Luke would have to get ready for the game. Ellen had overheard your conversation. She was glad you and Luke had such a strong relationship. Everyone knew you both would date, it was only a matter of time. Despite you two not being married, yet, you were the daughter she never got. 

The pair of you talked about anything and everything over the course of the afternoon and evening. Discussing the off season was the biggest conversation, talking about heading to the lake house. You had a nap in the afternoon before the Devils game. You and Ellen perched yourself on the couch, cheering on the youngest Hughes brothers. The Devils had won, signalling bed time for you. After all the meds, you were surprised you were still awake by the time the three stars were announced.

Rustles of a bag and clothes pulled you from your sleep. You rolled over and peeked your eyes open to see Luke creeping around your room. Trying to keep quiet. Not wanting to wake you. Before changing, he walked over to the bed. You snapped your eyes shut. Pretending to be asleep. Luke pressed a kiss to your forehead, lightly pushing back your hair. He went to change into his pyjamas. You rolled over as he got into bed. 

“Good game,” You mumble tiredly as you snuggle against Luke’s body.

His arms wrapped around you. Both of you are getting comfortable. “Thanks. How do you feel?”

“Tired,” You chuckle.

“Go back to sleep.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.” Luke pulled you closer. It was like he wanted you to merge into one person. “I’m so proud of you. I’d marry you tomorrow.”

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[bellysoupset]

Sicily - Part 7

Finally it's Vin's turn! This one gets mildly nsfw towards the end :)

-----------------

"Hydrate," Vince bossed, passing Leo the gatorade bottle and the other man rolled his eyes.

"You're not the boss of me," he scoffed, but took a large gulp regardless.

Vince's birthday had been yesterday and they had originally planned to sing him happy birthday with his whole giant family, the italian part too. However those plans had been delayed by a day since Leo had gotten so horribly sick no one felt in the mood to celebrate until he was back on his feet.

That meant the cakes, yes plural, Wendy had ordered and all the snacks were still in the fridge and by god was Vince salivating over them. He didn't mind the actual date getting changed, after all the whole week had been basically one big celebration of his birthday, but dammit did he mind not eating the cake.

Vince watched Leo finish drinking and then raise his eyebrows, all attitude as he said, "see? I'm fine. I've been fine since yesterday evening, chill out."

"I'm chill," Vin shrugged and indeed he felt that compared to Jonah and Luke, he was very very chill. Jonah was watching Leo like a hawk and Lucas had been distraught when him and Bella had come home the day before yesterday and found Leo bedridden with a fever and a bucket next to his head.

"You're all the opposite of chill," Leo sighed, rubbing his face, "so how should I dress for tonight? Should I break out the singular button up I brought?"

Vince couldn't help but chuckle. He nodded, "yeah and shave, sexy homeless man isn't exactly your look."

"Says you," Leo showed him his tongue like a kid, "Jonah says the stubble is hot."

"Jonah has horrible taste," Vince teased back, then let out a oof when Wendy sped in the room and threw herself on top of him, "jesus, Wen, don't do that!" he cried out, fixing her legs and rubbing the sore spot on his side where her elbows had hit him.

"Sorry, sorry," she said, distracted, sounding excited "you two have to look at this."

She was holding a magazine and she unrolled it. It was a 90s gossip magazine and Vince frowned, glancing at Leo, who looked equally confused.

"The fuck is that?" Leo asked and Wendy shushed him, pointing the cover.

It was a black model in her 30s, with extremely voluminous chocolate hair and striking green eyes, dressed in an emeralds dress that was clearly being blown back by a fashion fan. Vince squinted.

"Is that... Is that Jon's mom?"

Leo immediately perked up, scooting closer and studying her face, "Oh it totally is Jackie!"

Wendy nodded, opening the magazine, "wait for it," she said, flipping quickly through the pages and then opening in the article. There was another editorial picture of Jackie and Wendy flipped another page, then tapped it, grinning like a mad woman, "look at him!"

Little Jonah was sitting in his mom's lap, he couldn't be older than one. He had the cutest little afro and his eyes were more green than the current hazel they were. He was clad in a little shirt and social pants.

"OH MY GOD," Leo squealed, snatching the magazine, "he was the cutest fucking thing."

"Let me see," Vince grabbed the back of Leo's shirt, pulling him closer and opened a wide grin, "can we steal this magazine? Make copies?"

"It gets better," Wendy giggled, turning the pages again. She quickly passed by two different articles and one "what is your season?" quiz. Then reached the gossip column and slowed down, passing over familiar faces that Vince had seen before but couldn't name, until Wendy stopped in one and then pointed at it, "tell me this isn't the best thing ever!"

Leo leaned in to look and then started laughing, "oh my god, I need this to be my laptop's wallpaper."

Little Jonah, in a different outfit, was sitting in a little picnic tablecloth and next to him there was a different little boy. One Vince recognized far too quickly, because Lucas, unlike Jonah, still had a lot of his baby features.

Little Lucas had a mop of brown wavy hair and his eyes were lighter too and he was fighting Jon for his stuffed plushie. Around them Vince recognized Jackie, Luke's mom, two women he had never seen before and he assumed were nannies and a man an extremely sharp outfit and the tackiest blow out hairdo Vin had ever seen.

"Is that my dad?" Jon said, startling all three of them as he walked behind the couch, "what the fuck are you- Give me that."

"That's your dad?" Leo sat on his knees on the couch, trying to snatch the magazine back, but Jon slammed it shut. His cheeks turned darker with a blush.

"You three have no business digging through this old stuff."

"You and little Luke were so cute," Wendy teased him, "what happened with all that cuteness?"

Jonah looked like he wanted for the ground to open up and swallow him, "this is getting shredded" he said darkly and then glared at them, "where did you find this?"

Wendy blushed, "uh... I was just looking around the house...Found this in an office upstairs..."

"My dad's office?" Lucas said, jumping off the last step of the stairs, "the one with the albums on the wall?"

"Yeah, that one..." Wendy's face was red at being caught snooping, "I'm sorry, I was just bored-"

"No, it's fine," Lucas shrugged, while Vince frowned.

"Uhm... Are we not gonna talk about the fact there's a magazine on Jon's sexy mom in your dad's office or...?"

"Shut the fuck up about my mum!" Jonah exclaimed, holding the magazine protectively to his chest, while Wendy gasped and Lucas rolled his eyes,

"Shut up, Vince."

"I'm not saying anything!" He laughed, looking between the two of them, "just that your dad was a serial cheater and Jonah had green eyes as a baby, just like you."

"SHUT UP!" Jonah exclaimed, while Leo let out a wheeze, falling on his back while laughing and exclaiming.

"OH MY GOD!"

It was the fact that Lucas looked absolutely unbothered by the joke that had Vince's laughter dying in his throat. He widened his eyes, ready to exclaim wait, really?! But Livia interrupted him, running in the room and throwing herself on Jon.

"Why aren't you dressed!" she exclaimed, hugging him by the middle "we're going to Vinny's party!"

"Yeah," Jonah smiled to her, then glared at the rest of them, "go get fucking dressed and stop saying Luke's stupid father boned my mum, thanks."

Livia gasped, wrapping her arms around his neck as he picked her up, still holding the magazine.

"Bad word!"

"Oh I'm so sorry, darling, but they're morons, they deserve it," Jonah's voice trailed off as he carried Livia down the hallway with him.

Leo let out a wheezing breath, "oh man, that was too funny," he sighed, wiping the tears from the corner of his eyes and rubbing his side, "my stomach hurts from laughing."

Vince glared at Lucas, "please say that's not possible."

"I don't know and I don't wanna know," Luke shrugged, not looking even a little bit as amused as they were, "he's right, we should start getting dressed if we don't wanna be late to your grandma's house, Vin."

He got up too and Leo gladly took the hand Luke stretched out, both of them going back upstairs. Wendy let out a giggle, falling against Vince's side.

"So, you and I agree they're totally half brothers, right?" she whispered, causing Vince to snort.

"Absolutely," he agreed, grabbing her legs and throwing Wendy up in his arms, getting up too while she let out a squeal, wrapping her arms around his neck and continued to laugh.

Nonna Monacelli's place was fifty minutes away from Luke's summer house, in a tiny town. It wasn't big or fancy like the house they were staying at, but Vince immediately felt like crying the minute he crossed the threshold, his family and friends right behind him.

He remembered every corner of that place. He remembered sleeping over at his nonna so many times that he had his own room - that once used to be his father's. It was his father's side that was from Sicily, his mother's people were from Rome and they didn't talk much.

His nonna was well into her eighties, almost ninety, but she was still very active. She lit up as they entered the house and quickly ushered them to backyard.

Vince hadn't been to a real italian party in so long, but he immediately felt at ease. He watched, with a smile, as his grandmother made a face to the cakes they were carrying.

"I made cake!" she exclaimed in italian, offended, "you don't need store bought!"

Wendy frowned, "what is she saying...?" she asked and Vince grinned.

"I think she's declaring you her mortal nemesis, honey."

"Oh shut up," she scoffed.

It was funny to smack his friends right in the middle of his family that only spoke italian, but Vince needn't have worried. Lucas and Jon both knew enough not to die and his parents were engaged into translating.

Besides, certain things didn't need translation.

None of them needed translation to know the music was for dancing and none of them needed translation to know when to sing happy birthday, in the weirdest chorus Vince had ever heard, of english and italian mixing together.

His grandma, Ludovica, tugged on his earlobe 24 times and then pulled him into a hug, letting out a yell when he pulled her off her feet.

Vince grinned, planting her down and then pointing Wendy, "nonna, this is my grilfriend, Wendy" he said in italian, before quickly translating it in english.

"Tell her she's beautiful," nonna said, studying Wendy, "and to let her hair grow."

"I will-"

"And say thank you for bringing my grandson home."

"Alrigh-"

"And that if she ever orders another cake in my house she'll be kicked out."

Vince laughed, translating the entire thing and Wendy blushed, touching her hair in a self conscious manner, "I'm sorry nonna!"

"She sounds very american," Nonna scoffed, "tell her she needs to learn italian."

"I'm not telling her that," Vince rolled his eyes, kissing his grandma's temple, then flashed Wendy a smile as he said, "I promise I'll eat your cake too, nonna."

"You better," his grandmother huffed, before moving away.

Wendy pouted, looking at him, "So? What did she say?"

"She just told me to eat her cake," Vince translated partially, pulling Wendy by her hand as the music slowed down. He twirled her around. She was wearing a peach drapey dress and it created a circle as she twirled.

Wendy smiled, her hand small and dainty in his and she threw her weight partially back so she could get a good look of his face, "oh no," she pouted in an amused way, "whatever will you do, big guy? You know you can't touc-"

"Well, obviously, I'm gonna eat it," Vince shrugged, snaking an arm around her waist and pulling her closer. Wendy rolled her eyes, still smiling.

"Amore mio," she dragged the words, "you can't even glance that cake's way. It's all milk. That's why I bought a second one."

"And risk breaking my nonna's heart? No chance," he twirled her again and this time Wendy's back pressed against his chest, so he leaned in to whisper in her ear as they swayed from side to side, "besides, my girlfriend is into tummy aches, so I don't think she'd mind."

Wendy's face turned beet red as if he had just whispered her the filthiest thing and she scoffed, looking ahead, "doesn't mean I want you to get one purposefully-"

"No?" Vince said in a quizzical manner, enjoying the fact no one was paying them much mind and nibbling on her earlobe, "what if I kinda enjoy it too?"

"But you don't," Wendy said, forcefully pulling back so she could glare at him, "you can't lie to-"

"I'm not lying," Vince shrugged, "just a little tummy ache is not the end of the world, I want my grandma's cake. It's my birthday goddammit... And belly rubs do sound like an added bonus."

Her pupils were blown in her eyes and he could tell she was struggling to string together a coherent thought. It made his chest ache with pride. That was the kind of distraught, lustful eye contact he only got in the bedroom, it made him terribly smug that he could get her this worked up over only a few words.

"Cat got your tongue, sweetheart?"

She scowled at him, cheek red and then glanced at the cake table, then back at him, "...You can't eat it now," Wendy decided, voice all breathy.

Vince nodded, pulling her closer again and she pressed against him. If he pressed a little closer, he could feel she had the start of a boner, trapped by the shapewear. He smiled, cheek meeting her temple.

"Alright, honey. When can I eat it?"

"When we're almost going home," she whispered, breath hot against his neck, "so you're all mine when it hits."

"Okay," he continued to sway them, "just one slice, I don't want to puke."

"Uhm..." she hummed and he wasn't sure if she wanted him to be sick or not, but Vince decided to call the shots in this one. He didn't want to spend his birthday night praying to the porcelain god.

He glanced over her head, letting out a sigh as Wendy rested her forehead to his shoulder, enjoying the music. He could see Luke and Bell and Leo and Jonah dancing too. Leo looked beyond surprised that Jonah could slow dance like a pro and Bella and Lucas were in their own little world, foreheads pressed together, eyes closed. His father was trying to convince ma to join him in the dancefloor.

"Thank you," Vince whispered in Wendy's ear, "for all this. It's the best gift I ever got."

She let out a huff, turning her face in order to kiss his cheek, "you deserve this, my love."

The party went on for a while still, stretched into the night aided by all the wine.

Vince chuckled as he watched his dad drunkenly intermediate a conversation between Bella and his uncle, flipflopping between english and italian and failing miserably.

"Happy birthday, man," Lucas jumped on his back, squeezing him into a big hug and planting a kiss to his cheek. Vince let out a choked out noise at the sudden weight and they nearly fell, but he managed to hold the man after some stumbling, Lucas giggling the entire time.

"You're killing me!"

"Oh deal with it," Lucas squeezed him again, but let go, in time for Leo to tackle him in a hug.

Vince couldn't help but laugh, all air escaping him as the blonde squeezed him by the middle, Jonah getting dragged by Bella by his wrist as they piled him in a big group hug.

He wheezed for air, "okay okay, let me go!"

"No," Leo mumbled, voice muffled by his shirt and Vince laughed, losing his balance and causing all five of them to fall in the middle of the grass in a pile of limbs.

"You're crushing my arm!" Lucas cried out, giggling still and Vince tried to roll away, only for Leo to cry out at the movement and Bella scream "Jonah you're pulling my hair- Stop-"

"It got caught in my cufflink!"

"What are you doing?" Wendy laughed, walking over and crouching down in order to free Bella's hair from the tangle around Jonah's wrist, only for Lucas to grab her arm and pull her to them.

She fell on top of Leo and Vince with a yell and Jonah cackled, while Bella slapped Wendy's bum since it was right up her face and caused the other girl to let out a squeal and giggle.

Finally they managed to straighten up, still all shaking with wine fueled giggles. Sophia let out a scoff as she passed them by.

"Seems like you're turning four, not twenty four," she said, causing Vince to flip her off, his chest hurting with how happy he was.

"Okay guys, I think my nonna is gonna kick us out any minute now, we should go," Vince said, an hour later, as it was almost 2 AM. Bella nodded, getting up from her seat.

"I drive," she declared, which was wise, seeing as she was the most sober from all of them.

"We're staying," his mother said, waving him off when Vince circled the table to tell them they were leaving.

"Buona notte, mamma," He nodded in understanding, kissing the top of her head and smiling when his father hugged him again. Vince messed Sophia's hair as he passed her by, causing the teenager to hiss and slap his hand away.

"Where should I put her?" Jonah whispered and Vince let out a snort. Livia was completely passed out in his arms, drooling on his shoulder.

"I never pegged you for such a softie," Vince grinned, guiding him back inside the house, "put her in my old room, it's the last door in the hallway."

"You're not leaving without taking cake," nonna scoffed, "you're so skinny, you poor thing. Don't they have food in America?"

She filled a plastic tupperware with all sorts of snacks and another one with cake, out of pettiness not even touching the two beautiful cakes sitting on her table, that already had some slices missing.

They had come in two different cars, but since they had left one for his parents, now they were all squeezed in one. Leo was giggling, sitting up front on the passenger's seat, on Jon's lap, while Wendy was squeezed between Luke and Vince in the backseat, Bella driving.

"C'mere," Vince grabbed Wendy's waist, pulling her to sit across his lap, while Lucas reached in the space between the two front seats in order to grab some of the snacks in the tupperware that Leo was holding.

Wendy uncovered the tupperware with cake, breaking off a piece and holding it up to his mouth and Vince grinned, biting it off. It was what used to be his favorite: dulce de leche and chocolate, squished between two layers of a spongy vanilla batter.

He nibbled at her fingertips, letting out a moan when the flavor exploded in his mouth and eagerly finishing up the slice in four more bites. Wendy bit into the next one herself, nodding with a groan, "yeah, this is really good."

"Let me taste," Lucas said, grabbing his own slice and letting out a hum, licking off his fingers, "Bell did you try the cake?"

Vince was salivating for more, but he firmly dug his metaphorical heels. He didn't want to suffer too much, he just wanted the cuddles and tummy rubs and for Wendy to have that look in her eyes as if she was about to explode in flames.

"Wow," Leo grumbled as the car finally came to a stop and he jumped out, "I didn't realize I was so drunk until now."

Jonah laughed, wrapping an arm around his neck, "c'mere, baby. Let's get you to bed."

Bella was leaning heavily on the car as she undid the straps of her heels and Wendy winked at her, tugging on Vince's hand to pull him inside the house.

She was almost vibrating out of her skin as they entered the bedroom and Vince sat down with a groan, falling flat on his back against the pillows and chuckling, tipsy.

"My face is on fire," Wendy whispered, locking the door and walking to him, "I feel high."

"You kinky deviant," Vin chuckled, but his voice was less breathy. He grabbed her hand, planting it over his stomach, "it's bubbling here."

She could feel it. His stomach was packed full with two slices of the non-lactose cake and other foods, wine mixing everything together. Wendy danced her fingers over his skin, "hurts?"

"Not yet," he struggled with the buttons of his shirt, "I'm all yours."

Wendy let out a little huff as she patted his thigh, "lie against the pillows," she bossed, removing her own heels while he did so and then crawling on the bed. She sat on his lap, undoing his belt and pants and Vince let out a little relieved sigh.

She had seen him more stuffed before, straight up looking pregnant, but today he was looking good enough to eat. His belly was rounding out nicely, poking over his boxers and pushing gently against the buttons of his shirt. Wendy busied herself undoing the buttons one by one, leaning in to plant a kiss at every little inch of exposed skin.

He cupped the back of her head, fingers curling on the wavy hair and Vince combed his fingers through them, guiding her kisses to where his stomach was churning the most, "I can feel it right here."

"Here?" Wendy planted her lips over his skin, then Vince let out a surprised chuckle as she bit him. Teasing and light, not enough to leave a mark, but enough to send a jolt of desire down his body. Vince nodded, his mouth drying up.

As if wanting to join the party, he could feel his tummy finally making sense it had been fed its mortal enemy The Milk, because suddenly there was a loud whine from his midsection, loud enough that Wendy pulled back with a chuckle.

"Oh no, we upset it," she said, her voice deeper.

Vince let out a groan, one he wasn't playing up for her. Suddenly everything didn't feel as good in his belly and he shifted uncomfortably in the bed, "okay, I was promised tummy rubs, honey."

"I know, I know," Wendy nodded, planting both her hands on his stomach, fingers drumming his belly. The lightly bloat was getting worse, not enough that she could see anything, but enough they'd soon take notice of it.

Wendy rubbed her thumbs on each side of his stomach, in deep circular motions and then dragged them up, towards his navel. Vince let out a grunt, squirming and Wendy tried not to show just how much every little noise was turning her on.

"Here," Vin grabbed her hand, wincing and planting it over his belly button, "right there."

She pressed her palm flat in, in a half circle motion, in and out, and Vince pressed a fist to his mouth, letting out a sick belch, "ugh, I shouldn't have done this with my favorite cake," he scoffed at his own silliness and leaned his head back, "keep rubbing."

"It's so gurgly," Wendy whispered, leaning in so she could hear the noises better, licking her lips when there was yet another loud whine from his tummy, "it's amazing this is all from one slice."

"Uhm, amazing," Vin said sarcastically, pushing his own hand against his left side and letting out another airy, weak burp, "it hurts here."

"It's where you had those stitches," Wendy noted, gently rubbing her hand over the area and working up another delicate burp from him, "you're so dainty tonight, Vince."

"I know, right? A gentleman," he grimaced as she moved on his lap and caused the cake to splash in his throat, "ugh, wait, don't squirm so much, you're giving me reflux."

Wendy let out a sigh under her breath, heartbeat in her ears as she nodded and continued to stroke and rub his upset tummy, forcing up a gentle burp here and there.

"I can feel just how turned on you are by this," Vince mumbled a couple minutes later, relaxing a little bit. Wendy blushed.

"It's not like I can control it-" she started to defend herself, only for Vin to pull at the front of her dress and bring her mouth in for a kiss. She let out a little surprised noise, before kissing him back, wrapping her arms around his neck.

He smiled against the kiss, rolling them on the bed and Wendy let out another moan as she felt his stomach press against hers, "you're gonna make it worse," she whispered against his ear, locking her legs around his torso.

Vince let out a scoff, starting to kiss her neck, "as if you mind," he mumbled, pushing the straps of her dress and letting out a little groan as his belly immediately took his words as a challenge. He leaned in, pressing a little sick burp against her chest, while Wendy stroked his hair back.

"You said you don't wanna be sick," she scoffed, pushing his shoulders, "I'm not gonna make you sick. Lie back down."

"Uhm, changed my mind," Vince teased, but he allowed her to push him on his back again and sighed in relief when the movement reduced the nausea, "it was one little slice, this is ridiculous."

"It's fucking hot, that's what it is," Wendy teased, sliding down on the bed so she could press her cheek to his chest, hand resting on his belly, "close your eyes."

"I wanted to fuck," Vince whined and she let out a loud cackle, turning her face to muffle it against his skin.

"You absolute dweeb," she shook with giggles, "you can't even make out without feeling queasy. Hush."

"This is the most convoluted kink ever, honey," Vin sighed, closing his eyes as he felt his stomach churn in a queasy manner, Wendy pressing little kisses over it and still rubbing.

"We just need to get a hang at this, that's all," she whispered, voice thick with lust and then leaned in, kissing him again, "happy birthday, love."

#mywriting #sickfic #tummy rubs #belly kink #stomach ache #upset tummy #vince monacelli #belly ache

[hxney-lemcn]

To Fight For What You Love — Luke Skywalker x gn! Bounty Hunter! reader Pt. 2

summary: After running with Leia to escape Hoth, reader tries to survive with Han and Leia. The Empire seems to have it out for the group. (Terrible summary, shhhhh)

tw: torture (that one scene of Han being tortured basically (but it happens to reader as well)), movie typical violence, injuries, Luke being hurt </3

a/n: This chapter is so long. My robotics competition postponed this chapter coming out, but not for too long!

wc: 11.2k

Master List

Part One | Part Two

Read it on ao3 here.

“So,” My friend Yilla spoke up with a mischievous smirk. “What’s up with you and Luke?” 

“Hold up,” My other friend, Banth said, looking at the two of us. “Is this the same Luke who saved us back on Yavin IV?”

I rolled my eyes, picking at my food. I managed to make some friends after the battle of Yavin. They were really nice and accepted me pretty quickly. It was nice since I wasn’t always able to hang out with Luke, Leia, or Han. And wherever Han was, Chewie was close by. Banth was one of the cooks, and Yilla helped with communications. Our other friend, Ren, was a mechanic who was busy fixing some ships at the moment. 

“Yeah,” Yilla replied excitedly. “I mean, they did save Princess Leia with Luke and Han, you know.”

“I mean, yeah,” Banth replied. “I guess I didn’t think about it.”

“There’s nothing to think about,” I said, shaking my head. “Luke and I are just good friends.”

“Right…” Yilla tried off. “That’s what they all say.”

“Whatever helps you sleep at night,” I shrugged, finishing off my food.

“Hey (y/n)!” I heard my name be called. Looking up, Luke waved at me, approaching me and my friends. I heard them start snickering and I elbowed Yilla lightly with glare. 

“Hey Luke,” I replied, smiling over at him as he took a seat next to me. 

“Hello,” Luke greeted my friends, and they greeted him back. 

My friends knew about how I felt towards Luke. I didn’t want to say anything, but Yilla seemed to see right through me. I trusted them, Yilla and Banth were both really trustworthy. It didn’t help that my feelings for Luke have only been growing. He tries to hang out with me as much as he can and he’s just so kind. Not to mention the constant hugs are a nice perk. Leia even seemed to know…but Leia and Yilla were kind of close since Leia directly overlooked Yilla’s position. I know Yilla didn’t tell Leia, but if Leia had a suspicion and told Yilla…Maker, what was I getting into?

“How’s it goin?” I asked, Luke. Yilla and Banth starting their own conversation.

“Good,” Luke smiled, taking a bite of his food. “I’m on the next patrol.” 

My body involuntarily shivered at the thought of patrols. Devaron was a hot, humid planet. Then living on Tatooine, I was used to the heat. Devaronian’s were heat resistant, so it never really bothered me, but the cold? Whole different story. Hoth was ranked as one of my least favorite planets.

“Good luck with that,” I grumbled.

Luke bumped his shoulder into mine, and his smile seemed infectious, “You cold?” 

“Well, living on a planet that is the embodiment of ice…” I trailed off sarcastically. “It doesn’t help that my blood’s thinner than other species.” 

Taking off his scarf, Luke wrapped it around my neck and I felt my heart speed up. Maker, why does he have to be so pretty so close up? I wanted to hold his cheek and peck him on the lips. Gah! What’s wrong with me? That’s such a weird thing to think about a friend. 

“There,” Luke said once he was done, satisfied with his work. “Better than that thin scarf you have.”

I looked past his head, not able to make eye contact, covering my face with the scarf, “That scarf is just meant to block out sand. And besides, won’t you be cold now?”

“Nah, I’ll be fine,” Luke dismissed. “I’m sure I can always get another one.” 

“If you say so,” I sighed, nuzzling further into the warmth the scarf provided. I chanced a glance and met his stare, but he quickly looked down at his food. I looked over at Yilla who was staring with a shit eating grin, Banth smiling with her. I glared at them, feeling flustered at the insinuation their gazes gave. He was just being friendly…right? Yes…that’s all. Luke would’ve given his scarf to any other rebel, it was just a kind gesture. I’m overthinking it. 

An hour later, I stood at the gate, watching Luke prepare his Tauntaun. I kept my arms close to my body, the chilly wind flowing through the gate and somehow penetrating my jacket, scarf, and insulated clothing. 

“All right,” I heard Luke breath out, turning towards me. “Time for me to go.” “Be safe, Luke,” I said. Noticing that he didn’t get a new scarf, I took mine off and wrapped it around his neck this time. My eyes wandered to how cute his rosy cheeks contrasted with his blue eyes and pale skin. “If you start getting real cold, remember to turn around. No ifs, ands or buts, you hear me?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Luke grinned, rolling his eyes in amusement. “Just focus on not being a popsicle when I come back.” 

I swatted at his arm and pushed him towards the Tauntaun with a laugh, “Oh shut up.”

“You love me,” Luke teased back, walking the rest of the way to the giant animal.

“Who told you that?” I teased back with a raised eyebrow. “You should tell them to stop lying.”

Laughing at each other, I waved him off as he exited the base. I tried to bite back the lovesick smile that kept trying to shine through. 

“Why don’t you give me that kinda send off?” Han teased riding off after Luke. I shook my head as their silhouettes grew distant. 

That was hours ago. Han returned, said Luke went to check out a meteorite. My worry grew with each passing minute that Luke didn’t return. The longer he was out there, the higher chance that he’d die of hypothermia. 

“Leia,” I called out. “Let me go out, I swear I’ll be quick.”

“No,” Leia huffed, her gaze clearly holding frustration. “Han was the last one out with him, he would know best where to start looking.”

I bit my lip in worry, “But he’s not even answering you.”

“I just sent the droids to alert him,” Leia sighed, her gaze falling onto me. Putting a hand on my shoulder, she tried to comfort me, “Luke’s a strong fighter. Han will find him and everything will be alright.”

I wanted to argue back, spill all my worries out to her, but I bit my lip and nodded. I made my way towards the gate, my heart sinking along with the sun that slowly went down. We had to close the gates due to how cold the temperature dropped at night, and knowing that Luke was out there somewhere…I wanted to cry. Leia joined me, pacing back and forth.

“Did Han…” I trailed off, knowing that Han was a sensitive topic for her.

“Yes,” She replied shortly. 

I nodded, “I’m sure they’ll be back soon. I mean…there’s no way…” 

I frowned, watching snow fall just outside the gate. I wasn’t sure if I was trying to comfort Leia or myself at this point. Han now being in danger didn’t make me feel any better, but it also sparked a small glimmer of hope in me. 

“Sir,” I overheard a rebel member speak out. “All patrols are in. Still no-”

The officer hushed him, looking towards Leia and I. I crossed my arms and glared at them. I didn’t need to be coddled. I just wanted the truth. The rebel lowered his voice, but I didn’t need to hear him to know what he was going to say next. 

“Mistress Leia!” C3PO called out. “R2 says he’s been quite unable to pick up any signals, although he does admit that his own range is far too weak to abandon all hope.”

“Your highness,” The officer greeted Leia. “There’s nothing more we can do tonight. The shield doors must be closed.” Leia nodded, and the officer ordered for the doors to be closed. I felt my throat tighten at the prospect, eyes scanning the vastness of white that laid beyond the gate. 

“R2 says the chances of survival are 725 to 1,” C3PO piped up. I frowned as we watched the doors close, and Chewie let out a saddened howl. “Actually, R2 has been known to make mistakes…from time to time.”

I shook my head and walked off to my room. My eyes stung as my vision grew blurry. I will not cry. Everything will be fine. There is nothing to worry about. Han and Luke were both strong. They can survive almost anything…almost. When I sat on my bed I couldn’t hold my tears back. I can’t fool myself. Even R2 said the chances of them living through the night if they weren’t dead already were slim. I tried to keep my sobs quiet but failed as all the memories I made with the two started spinning in my head. 

It’s not fair. They didn’t deserve this. I pressed the palms of my hands to my eyes, trying to keep the tears back but they just kept coming. I laid back on my bed, the thought of the inevitable search party that’s going to be sent out tomorrow returning back with the bodies of my friends. Maker, why did I have to be so pessimistic? Or maybe I’m just being realistic. I suppose I won’t find out till tomorrow. I should try to sleep. I kept my jacket on, the rooms were more bearable but I still got cold easily. I lazily covered myself with my blanket and stared at the wall blankly.

I wasn’t getting any sleep tonight. 

The next morning I stood anxiously next to Leia in the communication room. A search party was sent as soon as they could. I knew I looked like a mess, but I frankly didn’t care. Yilla kept glancing at me from her station, but kept to herself. I suppose my dull eyes and disheveled hair would give away how I was feeling currently. One of the ships spoke through comms that they may have found a life force, but I wasn’t feeling too hopeful at the moment. 

“Echo base,” The same ship said through the comms. “This is Rogue Two. I’ve found them.” 

My eyes widened and I looked towards Leia who engulfed me in a hug. I felt tears brim my eyes once more as I clung onto Leia. I squeezed her jacket, trying to keep myself from crying. We rushed into the hangar, eagerly waiting for Rogue Two to return. Han came out, shouting for medics to come help. The pit in my stomach returned when I realized that it wasn’t over yet. Everyone rushed to help carry Luke to the medbay. Leia held me back from going into the room that held the bacta tank. 

“You’re not going to want to see him like that,” Leia spoke solemnly. “He’s safe now, you need to rest.” 

I stared at her exasperatedly, “B-but-”

She only shook her head, “I’ll get you when they take him out. Just try to get some sleep.”

I nodded and went to my room. Just the night before I laid in here, crying about their death. It felt daunting. But he’s okay now. I took a deep breath in and out, trying to calm myself. I didn’t realize how exhausted I was until now. I rested my eyes, and quickly fell into a dreamless sleep.

“-ake up,” I heard the familiar voice of Leia speak. I groaned, opening my eyes. I felt so groggy. “He’s up.”

I sat up quickly and looked at her. I threw the blanket off of me and ran to the medbay. There rested Luke C3PO and R2D2 already talking to him. His gaze fell onto me, and he gave me his familiar boyish grin. Maker, why do I have to be so emotional? I thought as tears brimmed my eyes once more. This time, I was able to hold them back thankfully. How embarrassing would it be to cry three times in such a short span of time? My eyes scanned over the healing cuts on his face and I frowned. I wasn’t sure what to say.

I walked closer to him and gently punched his arm, my eyebrows furrowed in slight anger.

“What was that for?” Luke asked with a frown.

“For-For not being safe,” My voice sounds scratchy. “I…I thought…” It felt like a frog was in my throat, and if I kept talking I would burst out into tears. Once again my vision was blurry and I fought back against tears. Luke seemed to notice and grabbed my hand gently, squeezing it.

“It’s okay,” Luke reassured. “I’m okay, Han’s okay.” 

I squeezed his hand back, holding it up to my face, trying to ground myself.

“I-I know,” I replied shakily. “Do you need anything? Water?”

I felt comforted under Luke’s gaze. It was so warm, loving, alive. He seemed to be contemplating what he wanted to say, but I didn’t mind. It just meant I could be under his gaze for a bit longer. 

“Some water sounds good,” He agreed. I nodded, brushing my thumb over the back of his hand before letting go. 

My heart felt lighter as I walked through the hallway. I smiled at Leia as she entered the room. 

“Thank you, Han,” I said with a grateful grin. “I’m glad you managed to both get out safe.”

“For a guy like me it was no problem,” Han boasted. 

“Yeah yeah,” I rolled my eyes. “Take it easy now, you deserve a break.”

I waved at Han and Chewie as they went into the medbay as well. I grabbed a bottle of water and Banth called out to me.

“Hey!” He exclaimed with a smile. “I thought you’d be by Luke’s side 24/7 right now.”

“Oh hush,” I waved him off. “I’m just getting him some water. Besides, Han and Leia are keeping him company right now.”

“I’m glad it all turned out well,” Banth nodded. “Yilla told me about…”

I sighed, “Yeah, I’d rather not talk about it.”

We said our goodbye and I made my way back to where Luke was. Nothing could bring my mood down right now. Well…I suppose walking in on Leia kissing Luke dampened my spirits a bit. She stormed out right after.

“Take it easy,” Han said sarcastically, walking out as well, the others following.

Our eyes locked and I tried to keep myself seeming neutral, but his grin quickly faded into a look of…fear? I’m not sure why.

“I’m…sorry,” I said awkwardly, fidgeting with the water bottle. “Did…I interrupt something?”

“I-no,” Luke stuttered, a desperate look on his face. “I-She-”

Tilting my head, I looked at him confused, “You don’t have to explain anything, Luke.” I gave him an awkward smile and handed him the water bottle. “It’s none of my business,” I shrugged, trying to act normal. “Now drink your water, don’t need you getting dehydrated now.” 

Luke opened his mouth like he was going to say something, but frowned instead and drank from the bottle. It felt awkward, something I never really felt around Luke. I didn’t like it. I wanted to get out of this situation, but I didn’t want to seem rude either. It’s so weird how just minutes ago I was relieved that he was alive, and now I’m feeling selfish because of my own damn feelings. 

“Feeling better?” I asked once he finished drinking the water.

When he looked at me, I felt so confused as to why his eyes looked so…lost. I understand why I’d feel disheartened catching my two friends kissing (one of them being my crush). But Luke? Didn’t he like Leia? He even gave Han a smug look before realizing I was there. 

“(Y/n), I don’t like Leia-” Luke was cut off as an officer rushed in.

“Sorry to interrupt,” They apologized. “But we are starting to evacuate. The princess wanted me to tell you that if you want to stay with the rebellion, she has prepared you to leave with the transport ships, (l/n).”

“So Han really is leaving, huh,” I mumbled to myself. “Thank you, I’ll go get ready.”

The officer nodded before leaving, and I turned towards Luke who was already standing up, “You sure you’re in good enough-”

I was cut off as Luke hugged me, pulling me close to himself. I slowly hugged him back. It felt bittersweet, but I decided to enjoy hugging my friend before we possibly go into battle.

“Good luck,” I murmured. “You’re gonna need it.”

Luke chuckled and pulled away, “Is that any way you talk to your…” He trailed off, his smile wavering a bit. “…friend before they go into battle?” 

“Only you,” I smiled innocently. “Think of it as special treatment.”

“We should get going now,” I commented as a person ran down the hallway. 

“Right,” Luke nodded. I waved at him.  I ran out to the hangar, stopping by the Mellenium falcon. 

“Hey Chewie,” I greeted. He let out a growl and surprised me with a hug. I hugged him back. Maker I’m going to miss these two. “You keep Han out of trouble, okay? Well, at least as much trouble as you can.” Chewie groaned sadly and I pulled away. Walking backwards, I looked up at the top of the Millennium Falcon, trying to spot Han. His head poked over the side and I waved up at him.

“You take care of yourself, ya hear?” I called up with a smile. 

“That’s what I do best, isn’t it?” He replied back. I rolled my eyes in amusement. “Keep an eye out on those two though, wouldja?” 

“What else am I gonna do?” I teased waving goodbye and joined the group of pilots that crowded around Leia. 

“All troop carriers will assemble at the North Entrance,” Leia ordered. “The heavy transport ships will leave as soon as they’re loaded. Only two fighter escorts per ship. The energy shield can only be opened for a short time, so you’ll have to stay very close to your transports.”

“Two fighters against a star destroyer?” A pilot asked. 

“An ion cannon will fire several shots to make sure that any enemy ships will be out of your flight path,” Leia explained. “When you’ve gotten past the energy shield, proceed directly to the rendezvous point. Understood?” They all agreed and dispersed. 

“Come with me,” Leia ordered me and I followed her into the communication room. I watched beside Leia at how we were doing. 

The first transport made it, and we all seemed to be in good spirits. That fell once the base started shaking, a fighter ship explaining that there were three walkers. I tried to bite my smile back as I heard Luke give out orders. I ignored the way Leia glanced at me, her eyes twinkling in mischief. Her gaze quickly grew serious once we heard about the casualties. I fidgeted a bit, the tables quickly turning.

“I don’t think we can protect two transports at a time,” The communications officer reported. 

“It’s risky, but we can’t hold on much longer,” Leia replied. The base shook once more, and C3PO held onto my shoulder for support. When did he get here? “We have no choice.”

“Launch patrol,” The officer ordered. 

“Evacuate the remaining ground staff,” Leia ordered another commander. We watched him leave and Leia turned towards me, “That means you too.”

I frowned, eyebrows furrowing, “No way, I’m leaving when you’re leaving.” 

Leia sighed but nodded, turning back towards the computers. Soon, it was just Leia, C3PO and a few communicators. The base shook more than ever, Leia and I holding onto each other as the structures around us crumbled. 

“You okay?” She asked, looking me over for any injuries.

“Yeah,” I replied breathlessly. “You?”

“As good as I can be,” She murmured, turning around and checking the monitor in front of us. Luckily, it still seemed to be in good shape. Leia continued monitoring the situation, and I was getting a little antsy.

“Shouldn’t we-” I was cut off by Han.

“You alright?” He asked, alerting us of his presence. 

“Why are you still here?” Leia asked, not happy seeing him. 

“Heard the command center had been hit,” Han replied, raising an eyebrow at me. 

“You’ve got your clearance to leave,” Leia replied, not even looking at him. 

“Don’t worry, I’ll leave,” Han said snarkily. “First I’m going to get you to your ship.” Han climbed over the rubble to us.

“Your highness, we must take this last transport,” C3PO cried. “It’s our only hope!”

Leia walked away from Han just as he got to us, “Send all troops in sector 12 to the south slope to protect the fighters.”

The center sparked up once more as the base shook, and I crouched down to keep myself steady. 

“Imperial troops have entered the base. Imperial troops have entered the base,” Someone reported through comms. I looked towards Han and Leia in fear. We needed to leave, now.

“Come on, that’s it,” Han said, grabbing Leia’s arm. 

“Give the evacuation code signal,” Leia finally ordered. “And get to your transports!” I followed behind the two, not exactly liking the way Han led Leia. 

“Wait for me!” I heard C3PO shout behind me. I glanced back, seeing that he was keeping up on his own. Once we got into a hallway, we began running towards the last transport. I kept my eye out, hoping to not run into any enemies. The path in front of us collapsed, nearly hitting Leia. I panted, out of breath, just glad to see that Han was protecting Leia. I helped her stand up as Han looked towards the now dead end. 

“Transport, this is Solo,” Han spoke into his comm. “Better take off. I can’t get to you. I’ll get them out on the Falcon. Come on.” I glanced at Leia who didn’t look pleased in the slightest. We passed by C3PO, but we didn’t have time to dwadle. 

Finally reaching the entrance to the hangar we ran in. I smiled a bit as I noticed Han pause for C3PO to enter. Chewie waved us over and we ran as fast as we could. 

“Hurry up, goldenrod!” Han shouted behind him. “You’re gonna be a permanent resident!”

Chewie, Han and Leia got on first. I stayed by the door to the ramp, and lifted it once I saw C3PO enter. My heart hammered as I heard the engine stall, and I quickly followed after C3PO who was calling out to Han. Han did not seem too happy and ran to the cockpit.

“This bucket of bolts is never gonna get us past that blockade,” Leia snapped. I couldn’t help but agree. 

“This baby’s got a few surprises left in her, sweetheart,” Han dismissed. “(Y/n), go man the blaster.”

“Right,” I nodded, running to the ladder and getting ready as quickly as I could. I did a scan of the perimeter and fired at the troopers that entered. Turning a bit, I noticed a group of troopers trying to set up a gatling blaster. I quickly shot at them and the ship started flying out. 

“What’s going on?” I asked as I watched us get approached by a star destroyer. 

“Just keep your eyes out for tie fighters,” Han replied back, clearly under stress. 

“Copy,” I replied, spinning the blaster around. Four tie fighters started shooting at us, and I shot back. 

“Star destroyers, two of ‘em comin right at us,” Han alerted me as the ship continued to shake. 

My shooting became more erratic as I started to panic. I managed to shoot a tie fighter down. My stomach dropped along with the ship as we suddenly plummeted. I reclaimed my gun, shooting when they came into range. The ship kept spinning around and I felt myself get queasy. There was no way I could shoot anything like this!

“Keep shooting!” I heard Han shout to me in the hallway. 

“What’s going on?” I asked through comms. 

“The damn ship is a hunk of junk, that’s what,” Leia replied. 

I shook my head, getting another tie fighter shot down. Suddenly, the trigger didn’t work and I couldn’t do anything anymore. 

“Shit,” I muttered. Not being able to help here anymore, I went back into the cockpit. 

“What the…” Leia murmured and my gaze fell onto the asteroids coming towards us. “Han, get up here!”

“Oh, no,” Han muttered, taking a seat. Leia got up so Chewie could take her spot. “Chewie, set two-seven-one.” 

“What are you doing?” I asked, looking towards Han.

“You’re not actually going into an asteroid field?” Leia asked incredulously. 

“They’d be crazy to follow us, wouldn’t they?” Han asked like it was that simple. I shook my head. This was all stupid. 

“You don’t have to do this to impress me,” Leia replied. 

“Sir, the possibility of successfully navigating an asteroid field is approximately 3,720 to 1,” C3PO cried out. 

“Never tell me the odds,” Han shouted back. 

“It was nice knowing ya,” I groaned out. Leia glanced at me and rolled her eyes. Han flew between the asteroids, a tie fighter exploding in front of us. The explosion caused the ship to shake and I held onto the chair Leia fell into. 

“You said you wanted to be around when I made a mistake. This could be it, sweetheart,” Han said snarkily to Leia. What the hell was going on with them? 

“I take it back,” Leia replied back. “We’re going to get pulverized if we stay out here much longer.”

“Ain’t gonna argue that,” Han muttered. “I’m going in closer to one of the big ones.”

I frowned, I think I knew what he was planning, but I didn’t like it. Leia and 3PO questioned Han. I steadily held onto the chair as Han flew us into a crater, and maneuvered us through a small crevice. The last tie fighter ran into the wall.

“Where are we going?” I asked, Han entering a hole that went towards the core of the asteroid. 

“I hope you know what you're doing,” Leia muttered. 

“Yeah, me too,” Han replied back, not reassuring in the slightest. Landing somewhat deep in the cavern, Han parked the ship. “I’m gonna shut down everything but the emergency power systems.”

“Sir, I’m almost afraid to ask,” C3PO spoke up. “But does that include shutting me down too?”

“No,” Han replied. “I need you to talk to the Falcon. Find out what’s wrong with the hyperdrive.”

The ship started rocking back and forth. Maker, we really couldn’t catch a break. 

“Sir, it’s quite possible this asteroid is not entirely stable,” C3PO piped up again. 

“Not entirely stable?” Han asked sarcastically. “Well I’m glad you’re here to tell us things. Chewie, take the professor in the back and plug him into the hyperdrive. (Y/n), why don’t you go help out Chewie.”

“I only know the basics-” Han cut me off.

“You got the damn droid to yap your ear off,” Han dismissed. I sighed and took my leave. The ship rocked again, and I held onto the wall to not fall. I watched as Chewie pulled himself up.

“Need help up there?” I called up. Chewie only growled in a tone I learned meant no. Hesitantly, I looked over to C3PO, “Is there anything I can help fix?”

“There is quite a lot that needs to be fixed on this ship,” He started to ramble. 

“Anything to do with wiring?” I asked. “I’ve got a little knowledge in that.”

“Over there is a panel that got blasted,” C3PO said, pointing down a hallway. 

I nodded and quickly found the panel. Wires of many colors hung out. All I have to do is make sure to match the colors right? Make sure not to touch the live wire to the ground one, and cover the wires with tape since that’s the best I can do at the moment. I got to work, time passing by quickly as I focused on the task at hand. 

Once I finished that, I went to see if anything similar needed to be done. Not being able to find anything, I made my way to the cockpit. I noticed that Leia sat in one of the chairs, seeming distressed. 

“Something wrong?” I asked, sitting next to her. 

She looked at me surprised before shaking her head, “Besides the situation we’re in? Well…no.” I didn’t believe her, seeing as she didn’t make eye contact with me. 

“I won’t judge,” I replied back. “I won’t tell anyone either. Sometimes it’s nice to get things off your chest.”

She frowned and looked at me, “I’m sorry I kissed Luke.” My eyebrows raised, it felt like that happened so long ago. “Han has been pushing at my buttons for so long. Keeps trying to get me to admit my feelings for him. In all my frustration I wanted to prove him wrong…”

“It’s okay Leia,” I consoled. “It’s not exactly my position to forgive, since it was Luke you kissed and not me.”

“But I did it with the knowledge of your feelings towards him,” She countered. 

I felt myself flush, it made me feel so vulnerable to admit these feelings I held, “It’s not like we’re a thing. Besides, if anything, I’m more concerned about Han and you,” I changed the subject. “If he’s being too pushy just tell me, I’ll have a little talk with him.”

“We kissed,” Leia blurted out, looking out towards the windshield. 

“What!” I exclaimed, but Leia’s attention was drawn to something outside. 

I followed her gaze, wondering what was more important than what she just confessed. Only for a creature to cling to the windshield, causing Leia to fall backward and scream. I followed Leia into the main corridor.

“There’s something out there,” Leia alerted Han. 

“Where?” Han asked, removing his welding goggles. 

“Outside?” I said, not sure where else it could be. Suddenly, something sounded from above us. 

“I’m going outside,” Han muttered, grabbing an oxygen mask. 

“Are you crazy?” Leia asked. 

“I just got this bucket back together,” Han replied back. “I’m not going to let something tear it apart.” 

“Then I’m going with you,” Leia fought back. 

“(Y/n), stay back and be ready to start the ship,” Han ordered.

I scoffed, “Why me?”

“Because princess over here won’t,” Han waved me off. I just shook my head as I went to the cockpit, taking a seat in the pilot seat. I rocked back and forth in the chair, looking over the controls. It’s gotta be similar to my old ship, right? I could pilot small ships, but I’ve never done one this big before. C3PO joined me not too long after. I heard a blaster go off, but not much else. I let out a startled scream as a creature flew past the windshield. C3PO also shouting out. The ship started rocking and I held onto the panel, trying to keep myself steady. 

The rocking kept getting worse and Han shouted, “Turn on the ship!” I flipped the switches that I thought was correct, and the ship’s light turned on. Chewie entered and I stood up, letting him take over. I sat down behind Chewie and strapped myself in. 

“You can’t make the jump to light speed in this astrofield,” Leia shouted, joining us. 

“Sit down sweetheart,” Han replied. “We’re taking off.”

“Look!” 3PO shouted.

“I see it,” Han dismissed. The opening of the so-called cave started closing. 

“The cave is collapsing,” Leia gasped.

“This isn’t a cave,” I replied, horrified. I can’t believe we were just sitting inside a beast this entire time. We barely managed to squeeze through the teeth, the worm-like creature trying to eat us after we left. We flew off of the asteroid and they prepared to make the launch to lightspeed. Hitting the switch…nothing happened. I groaned, Chewie also complaining.

“It’s not fair,” Han complained. “Transfer circuits aren’t working. It’s not my fault.”

“No lightspeed?” Leia mocked. 

“It’s not my fault,” Han mumbled. The ship already under fire. 

“Sir, we’ve just lost the main rear deflector shield,” 3PO reported. “One more direct hit on the back quarter and we’re done for.” 

“Turn her around,” Han pointed at Chewie. “I’m gonna put all power in the front shield.” 

“You're going to attack them?” Leia asked astounded. 

“Sir, the odds of surviving a direct assault on an imperial-” I cut C3PO off. 

“No more odds!” I exclaimed, not liking the pressure I felt already. 

Turning the ship around, they flew over the star destroyer and parked on the ship on one of their blind spots. 

“No fucking way,” I mumbled, slouching in my chair. 

“Captain Solo, this time you’ve gone too far,” C3PO scolded. Chewie growled at him. “No, I will not be quiet. Why doesn’t anyone listen to me?”

“The fleet’s beginning to break up,” Han pointed out. “Go back and stand by the manual release for the landing claw.” Chewie agreed and left. 

“I really don’t see how that’s going to help,” C3PO said. “Surrender is a perfectly acceptable alternative in extreme situations. The Empire may be gracious enough-” Leia shut him off and I felt relieved.  

“Thank you,” I relented. 

“What’s your next move?” Leia asked. 

“If they follow standard imperial procedure,” Han explained. “They’ll dump their garbage before they go to lightspeed and then we just float away.” 

“With the rest of the garbage,” Leia nodded mockingly. 

“Then we got to find a safe port around here,” Han said. “Any ideas?”

“Where are we?” I asked.

“The Anot system,” Han replied. 

“There’s not much here,” Leia shook her head. 

“No,” Han agreed. “Well, wait. This is interesting. Lando!”

“Lando?” I asked, confused at what he meant. 

“Lando Calrissian,” Han clarified. “He’s a card player, gambler, scoundrel. You’ll like him.” The last part being directed at Leia. I sent her a questionable glance and she just shook her head. “Bespin. It’s pretty far, but I think we can make it.”

I looked at the montier, reading the information, “A mining colony?”

“Yeah, a tibanna gas mine,” Han replied. “Lando conned somebody out of it. We go back a long way, Lando and me.”

“That doesn’t seem reassuring,” I mumbled. 

“Can you trust him?” Leia asked. 

“No,” Han reckoned. “But he’s got no love for the Empire, I can tell you that.” The ship started moving, “Here we go Chewie, stand by…detach!” The ship drifted along with the other trash.

“You do have your moments,” Leia praised. “Not many of them, but you do have them.” She leaned up and kissed his cheek. I met her gaze and she looked off. We flew off and I decided to take a nap. 

The feeling of the ship shaking woke me, and I hurried off to the cockpit. 

“What’s going on?” I asked, stumbling a bit due to my grogginess. The sunrise was breathtaking as it illuminated the floating civilization. 

“We reached Bespin,” Leia told me. Being able to land, we all exited the ship. 

“Oh, no one to meet us,” C3PO remarked. 

“I don’t like this,” Leia shook her head. 

“Well, what would you like?” Han mocked. 

“They did let us land,” I shrugged. 

“Look, don’t worry,” Han tried to console. “Everything’s going to be fine. Trust me.” The door opened and my hand went to my blaster on reflex, but Han put a hand on my shoulder, patted it and looked between me and Chewie, “You two keep an eye out, okay?” I nodded, and Han went to greet this so-called Lando.

“Why you slimy, double-crossing, no-good swindler,” Lando ridiculed. “You got a lot of guts coming here after what you pulled.” And I wondered why Han thought of him as a friend. Han pointed to himself, and I kept a hand over my blaster. I kept having to brush my hair back, the wind blowing it out of place. Lando lunged towards Han, causing him to flinch back, but pulled him in for a hug laughing. I kept my eyes out, feeling a little more relieved but not entirely so.

“How you doin’, you old pirate?” Lando asked with a grin. “So good to see you!” 

“Well, he seems very friendly,” C3PO spoke up. I kept silent, watching as the guards went back inside, and approached Han and Lando.

“What are you doing here?” Lando asked. 

“Ah, repairs,” Han replied, pointing to the Millennium Falcon. “I thought you could help me out.”

“What have you done to my ship,” Lando asked in a serious tone.

“Your ship?” Han mocked. “Hey, remember, you lost her to me fair and square.” I pursed my lips. Of course. Of course Han would call the man who lost his ship in a gamble his friend. 

“And how you doin’ Chewbacca?” Lando asked over Han’s shoulder. Chewie growled in response. “You still hanging around with this loser?” Chewie stood beside me, gowling once more. Leia stepped on my other side, giving Lando a suspicious glance. “Hello,” Lando mused. “What have we here? Welcome, I’m Lando Carissian. I’m the administrator of this facility. And who might you be?” 

I held back from rolling my eyes. I suppose I shouldn’t have expected anything less from someone who Han called a friend. 

“Leia,” She replied with a forced grin.

Grabbing her hand, Lando kissed the back of it, “Well Miss Leia.”

I bit back a laugh as Han tried to wedge himself between the two, “All right, all right you old smoothie.” Han grabbed her hand instead and walked forward. Landos gaze fell onto me and C3PO.

“And you?” He asked with a sly grin.

“I’m (y/n),” I greeted with a nod. Chewie bumped my arm with his. Wrapping my arm around his, I leaned against him and followed. I don’t know why but I just wanted to be close to somebody. Probably my anxiety. Thankfully Chewie didn’t seem to mind. 

“Hello sir,” I heard C3PO start to rattle from behind us. “I am C3PO, human cyborg relations. My facilities are at your-”

Lando passed by Chewie and I, his stare clearly on Leia. Poor woman can’t catch a break. 

“What’s wrong with the Falcon?” Lando asked.

“Hyperdrive,” Han responded. 

“I’ll get my people to work on her,” Lando smiled. “That ship saved my life quite a few times. She’s the fastest hunk of junk in the galaxy.” 

“How’s the gas mine?” Han asked, making small talk. “Still paying off for you?”

I tuned them out, taking in my surroundings. We walked down white stairs and corridors. It was a nice looking place. I fiddled with Chewie’s fur, making sure I was gentle. After a few seconds, I realized I couldn’t hear C3PO following us anymore. Looking behind me, I searched for the golden droid but couldn’t find him. Tugging on Chewie’s arm to gain his attention, he growled softly looking down at me.

“C3PO,” I whispered, pointing behind us. We turned around and walked back the path a bit. A door closed, but I didn’t pay it much mind, looking down the hallway instead. Chewie let out a growl and I agreed, not wanting to get lost. We quickly caught up with Han and Leia. 

“You two must be hot,” Lando said, looking towards Leia and I. “With all that winter gear I’m surprised you aren’t melting.” I decided to not sound annoying by explaining my heat resistance, and nodded with Leia. “Well don’t worry, I’ve already got my people getting outfits ready, here are the rooms. Once your finished, walk up the stairs at the end of the hall to the waiting room”

“Thank you,” Leia and I thanked. 

“C’mon Chewie,” Han said with a grin. “Let’s make sure no one breaks the ship.”

“Uhm,” I tried to speak up, gaining all of their attention. “We lost C3PO along the way. Uh…just so everyone knows.”

Lando nodded, “Thanks for bringing it up, I’ll tell everyone to keep an eye out.” I nodded, rushing into the room I was given. The room wasn’t too big, a folding screen sat in the middle, clothes thrown over the top. I discarded the insulated clothes I was currently wearing and adorned the new ones I was given. A light beige top with a dark brown jacket, dark brown pants to match. It was a bit comforting because it reminded me of my old Tatooine outfit. 

Opening the door, I peaked out first. I glanced towards Leia’s room. Should I knock? What if she was already in the waiting room? I kept debating what to do, but my question was eventually answered when she exited. Her outfit contrasted mine, and I found that fact neat. I exited as well and caught up with her.

“How are you feeling?” I asked as we walked up the stairs. 

“I’m not sure how to feel,” Leia sighed. 

“I like your hair,” I complimented. “Sorry, off topic.”

She smiled softly, “It’s okay, and thank you. How are you feeling?”

“Honestly?” I asked, taking a seat on one of the blindingly white couches. “I guess I haven’t had much time to think about it. On one hand, I’m starting to get a bad feeling about this place, it just seems too good to be true, not to mention C3PO. On the other hand, well…I guess I’m kind of worried about Luke. Did he make it with the other rebel members? Is he worried about us? Who's going to watch over him?”

Leia sat next to me, a soft look on her face, “You should tell him how you feel when you see him next. You never know when it might be your last chance.”

I groaned, “I know. It’s just so…scary. I’ve never felt this strongly towards someone before, and I’ve never had time for relationships before.”

Grabbing my hand, she held it gently in her own, “New situations are always going to be scary, but I can tell that Luke cares about you too. More than you think.”

I nodded, “Well what’s going on between you and Han? There’s something obviously going on…”

Leia only rolled her eyes, a small smile on her lips, “Don’t even get me started on that.”

I laughed with her. A comfortable silence fell over us. Glancing up at the windows that surrounded us, I admired the blue sky. Such a better contrast to the constant gray I’ve only seen on Hoth. She let go of my hand and stood up, pacing the room. We turned to Han as he entered the room, informing us that the ship was almost completely fixed. 

“The sooner the better,” Leia remarked. “Something is wrong here. No one has seen or knows anything about C3PO. He’s been gone too long to have gotten lost.” 

Han gently placed his hands on her shoulders and kissed her forehead, “Relax. I’ll talk to Lando and see what I can find out.”

“I don’t trust Lando,” I spoke up, both of them turning to me. I shrunk slightly, feeling somewhat awkward at ruining their moment. Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything. 

“I don’t trust him either,” Han replied back. “But he is my friend. Besides, we’ll soon be gone.”

“Then you’re as good as gone, aren’t you?” Leia asked softly. They stared into each other's eyes and I decided to turn my attention elsewhere. 

The sound of Chewbacca growling immediately caught my attention as he entered the room with C3PO’s parts. “What happened?” I asked, standing up to help him. 

“Where?” Han asked, and Chewie growled some more. “Found him in a junk pile?” I frowned, this wasn’t good. Something really was going on. 

“Oh, what a mess,” Leia commented. “Chewie, you think you can repair him?” Chewie growled, in what I’m assuming is either a maybe or yes. 

“Lando’s got people that can fix him,” Han stated. Leia and I looked back at him, not believing that he just said that.

“Yeah I think that’s gonna be a no,” I frowned. 

“I’m sorry, am I interrupting something?” Lando asked once entering. I bit back my sarcastic retort, not trusting Lando even a lick anymore. 

“Not really,” Leia replied instead. 

Lando smiled at her, and I didn’t like the look in his eyes, “You look absolutely beautiful. You truly belong here with us among the clouds.”

“Thank you,” Leia spoke politely.

“Would you join me for a refreshment?” He asked, and I quickly made my way to Leia’s side, trying to soften my glare. He looked at me and I could tell he tried to be more inviting, “Everyone’s invited of course.” Han held out his arm for Leia, her grabbing onto it. Lando seemed to finally notice C3PO and asked, “Having trouble with your droid?”

“No, no problem, why?” Han dismissed, and led Leia away before I could say anything. Maker did I want to say something. Lando took one last glance at C3PO before following after the other two, Chewie waited for me to join him and held up the rear of the group. 

“I want to leave,” I grumbled to Chewie. “I have a bad feeling about all of this.”

Chewie grumbled softly in reply. Lando kept talking about the Empire, and it made me feel even more uneasy. When he mentioned that he made a deal that would keep the Empire out I felt like the pin hit the ground. Before I could say anything, Lando opened the doors to a room with Darth Vader sitting at a dining table. I took a step back out of instinct, immediately lifting my blaster up. Han and I shot out at Vader, him deflecting it like it was nothing. 

Using the force, Vader grabbed our blasters, “We would be honored if you would join us.” Boba Fett walked out from his hiding spot and stood slightly behind Vader. I glared at them, scanning around me for a means of escape, only for stormtroopers to rush in behind us. 

“I had no choice,” Lando said remorsefully. “They arrived just before you did. I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry too,” Han replied, glancing at Leia. We entered the room, Darth Vader taking a seat once more. 

Quickly, he dismissed Chewbacca, and stormtroopers escorted him out of the room. Not without him making a fuss. Not long after that, we were all separated. I was taken into a room and strapped to a chair. I was laying for what felt like forever, and I tried to hide my fear once I heard the door open. I clenched my fists, not wanting to see who entered. If I can’t see them, they can’t see me…right? No, of course that was a childish thought. I could hear the infamous heavy breathing of the sith lord. I closed my eyes, not wanting to see what was going to happen. 

Slowly, I felt the chair move and I peaked an eye open to see a strange machine I’ve never seen before. Suddenly, an all encompassing pain shot throughout my entire body and I couldn’t stop the scream that ripped from my lungs. The tears from my eyes seemed to evaporate as the feeling of electricity flowing through my body seemed to get worse. 

My entire body slumped against the restraints once it stopped. My body continued to tingle and my throat felt scratchy due to my screaming. My tears slowly faded. Unstrapping my body, the two stormtroopers that were supervising me grabbed me by my arms and dragged me to a room. I never felt so relieved to see Chewie than at this moment. He stood up and came to my side when the stormtroopers tossed me down and left. I looked up and noticed that Han was laid out on a metal slab, C3PO a little farther with his head on backwards. 

“You’ve looked better,” Han spoke up, his head aimed towards me. I just grumbled under my breath, Chewie picking me up and holding me. I focused on clenching and unclenching my muscles, trying to get them to relax. Leia came rushing in and went straight towards Han. Chewie and I tried to give them their moment, and he growled softly at me.

“I’ll be fine,” I whispered. “I’m gonna be real sore after that though.” He growled sadly in response and suddenly the doors opened. 

“Lando,” Leia scoffed. 

Chewie roared at him, holding me closer to himself. Lando stared at him, before his gaze fell onto me and his stare held remorse.

“Get out of here, Lando,” Han ordered. 

“Shut up and listen,” Lando commanded. I just stared at him lazily. “Vader has agreed to turn Leia, (y/n), and Chewie over to me. They’ll have to stay here, but they’ll be safe.”

“What about Han?” Leia asked. I already knew this. There’s a reason why Boba Fett’s here. I’m just surprised that Jabba hasn’t asked for my head too, but I suppose he only really cared about Han. 

“Vader’s given him to the bounty hunter,” Lando confirmed. 

“Vader wants us all dead,” Leia argued. 

“He doesn’t want you at all!” Lando exclaimed. “He’s after somebody called Skywalker.”

I felt my heart drop. No, no, no, no this can’t be happening. We are currently baits for a trap? For Luke? Someone’s gotta warn him, tell him to get as far as he can. 

“Not Luke,” I mumbled, patting Chewie’s arm for him to set me down. I swayed a bit, holding on to Chewie for support before getting my full footing. “We gotta warn him.”

“Vader set a trap for him,” Lando explained. 

“And we’re the bait!” Leia shouted. 

“He’s on his way,” Lando informed. 

“You fixed us all real good, didn’t you?” Han asked, slowly getting up and walking towards Lando. “My friend.” Han landed a strong punch, making Lando fall backwards. Han fell forward, getting hit by a guard, only for Lando to stop them. I went to move forward, but a guard held a blaster to Chewie and I. 

“I’ve done all I can,” Lando remarked. “I’m sorry I couldn’t do better but I’ve got my own problems.”

“Yeah,” Han mocked. “You’re a real hero.”

Lando stormed out and we all tried to help Han up, but I stumbled a bit. Everything was sore and my legs felt like jelly. Han waved them off, clearly still in pain.

“You certainly have a way with people,” Leia said softly. 

I took a seat as they put Han back on the metal slab. Leaning against the wall wasn’t comfortable, but it’ll do. I closed my eyes and tried to get as much rest as I could. So many thoughts flying around in my head. Han is going to be shipped back to Jabba, who knows what Jabba will do to him. Apparently the rest of us are supposed to stay on this forsaken planet, and Luke…Oh Luke. Why does he have to get dragged into this? How does he even know we’re here? I suppose Jedi intuition? So that’s why Vader hurt Han and I? I just wish I could communicate with Luke somehow.

And once again, why didn’t Jabba want me? Did they think I was dead? Did they think Han killed me? Is that for better or worse? I hope my parents aren’t too worried. Who am I kidding, they’re probably devastated. They probably think I was killed for some ridiculous rebellion, or worse, doing a job for Jabba. I hope dad hasn’t done anything to get himself killed. I wish I could see them. Maker, I’m sounding like a child. 

I lifted my head, alerted by the sound of the door. In came Boba Fett with a few stormtroopers behind him. I glared as he ordered us up and to follow him. First it was Han, Leia, and then me and Chewie (who had C3PO on his back). They put some weird restraints on Han, making Chewie growl, but they didn’t flinch. They led us into a dim room, only being lit with orange lights. We were put next to Lando as Darth Vader came into the room. 

“What’s going on? Buddy.” Han asked Lando.

“You’re being put into carbon freeze,” Lando whispered back. 

I zoned out, realizing just what was going to happen. Why the hell would they do that? Just what does Vader want? I was snapped out of my thoughts when Vader ordered them to put Han in. Chewie started yelling, fighting anyone he could. Han stopped him.

“Hey! Hey! Listen to me Chewie,” Han shouted. “This won’t help me. Save your strength. There will be another time. The princess, (y/n), you gotta take care of them.”  The troopers had put binders on Chewie, Leia and I approached him as he slowly calmed down. “Do you hear me, huh?” Han asked. Chewie only growled back sadly. I turned to hug Chewie, as Han and Leia shared a kiss. Stormtroopers separated the two lovers, pushing Han into position.

“I love you,” Leia finally confessed. I'm just sad it had to be in this situation. 

 “I know,” Han replied. He was then slowly lowered, Chewie’s cried out once more. I buried my face in Chewie’s arm, not able to watch Han’s possible death. The sounds of machines whirring and Vader’s breathing is all I could hear. I jumped at the sound of metal thunking, and peeking out to see Han’s body frozen in pain, encased in carbon. I glanced over at Leia who was also holding onto Chewie, pain shown clearly in her gaze. I walked over to her and held her to me, Chewie also turning to embrace her better.

“Oh, they’ve encased him in carbonite,” C3PO said, now getting a view of what was happening. “He should be quite well protected, if he survived the freezing process that is.”

“Well, Calrissian,” Vader spoke up finally. “Did he survive?”

“Yes, he’s alive,” Lando reported. “And in perfect hibernation.” I felt a bit better at that, but not much. 

“He’s all yours, bounty hunter,” Vader said. “Prepare the chamber for Skywalker.” I stared at Vader in horror. Of course this was just a test. I didn’t know how to feel, first Han, and now Luke…

“Skywalker just landed, lord,” A captain reported. Leia and I looked at each other in fear. 

“Good,” Vader said. “See to it that he finds his way here.” Vader walked closer to Han’s body, Lando walked towards us and grabbed Leia’s arm. Chewie and I pulled her closer to us and she yanked her arm from him with a glare. “Calrissian, take the princess, the Devaronian, and Wookie to my ship.”

“You said they’d be left in the city under my supervision,” Lando argued. 

“I am altering the deal,” Vader replied back. “Pray I don’t alter it any further.”

Leia’s eyes never seemed to leave Han, and I rubbed her shoulder, trying to comfort her in any way I could. Lando kept looking at us with guilt, but I found it hard to sympathize with him. He started to lead us, stormtroopers guarding us as we started to make our way through the halls. The sounds of blaster fire broke me out of my stupor and I tried to look, Leia seeming to have the same idea. A stormtrooper shoved her forward, but I knew that there was only one person that could be.

“Luke!” I shouted. “Run! Get out of-” I was interrupted by the closest stormtrooper hitting my side with their blaster. I grunted out in pain, and Leia quickly caught me before I fell. 

“Keep moving,” The stormtrooper ordered behind us. “And keep your mouth shut.” 

We kept walking. My side throbbed but I ignored it. Suddenly, the imperial officer waved Lando off and grabbed Leia, a stormtrooper grabbing me. The other stormtrooper started shooting, keeping us moving forward. My eyes widened when I saw it was Luke. 

“Luke!” Leia and I shouted as they forced us into another area. “Luke, get out of here!” I shouted.

“Luke! Don’t! It’s a trap!” Leia shouted. We struggled as we continued to try and warn him, I suppose we can only hope that he got the message. I struggled against the trooper that held me, swiggling, kicking, elbowing, anything I could think of. This only received another jab to my side and I couldn’t stop the yelp of pain that escaped me. 

They continued leading us through the winding halls, unhanding Leia and I when they were certain we wouldn’t fight back. I kept my hand to my side, feeling my ribs. I winced as a shooting pain rushed through my body. I tried taking a deep breath and that hurt terribly too. I don’t think I broke it, or I’d be crying rivers right now. But something was wrong with it. Suddenly, Lando’s people swarmed us, and made the troopers surrender. 

“Well done,” Lando spoke to what I assume is his second in command. “Hold them in the security tower. And keep it quiet. Move.” 

They all ushered the stormtroopers away and Lando handed Leia and I a blaster. I felt safer with the weight of a blaster in my hands once more. Though, it was a double edged sword as it was hard to lift with my ribs hurting. 

“What do you think you’re doing?” Leia asked as Lando started to undo Chewie’s binds. 

“We’re getting outta here,” Lando spoke back. 

“I knew it all along,” C3PO spoke up. “It had been a mistake.” I threw a small glance at the droid before watching Lando in suspicion. 

“Do you think that after what you did to Han, we’re going to trust you?” Leia said incredulously. 

“Do we have much of a choice right now?” I asked Leia who only turned her glare to me. Once Chewie was let out of his bindings, he throttled Lando, growling fiercely.

“I had no choice,” Lando choked out. 

“What are you doing?” C3PO cried out. “Trust him! Trust him!”

“We understand, don’t we Chewie?” Leia mocked. “He had no choice.” 

I knew they were angry, and I knew they were hurting, but no good will happen if we are all dead. “Let him go!” I shouted, trying to pull at Chewie’s arms. “We’re no good to Han and Luke dead.”

“I’m just trying to help,” Lando choked out. 

“We don’t need any of your help,” Leia seethed. 

“Do you think this is another trick when we were already in the enemy’s hands?” I asked. I didn’t like Lando before, but we need all the help we can get now. “We don’t know how to get out of here! Please, think this through without your emotions clouding your judgment.” 

Lando tried to speak, but he was losing his breath quickly. Leia asked what he was saying and I could only roll my eyes. If you want to hear him speak, maybe stop Chewie from choking him. 

“There's still a chance to save Han,” Lando breathed out. “At the East…platform.”

Chewie finally let go, and I stumbled back a bit. Lando held his neck, gasping for air.

“I’m terribly sorry about all this,” C3PO apologized. “After all, he’s only a Wookie.”

I rushed after Leia and Chewie as they made their way to the East platform. I glanced back at Lando but only shook my head. I’m not sure why he went through all these loops to only help us once more and put himself on the line. Lando quickly caught up to us, and led us the correct way. I kept an eye out, blaster at the ready. Making our way outside, R2 was hiding in a hallway.

“R2, where have you been?” C3PO asked. Chewie turned around to see, “Wait, turn around, you wooly..” R2 beeped back and C3PO replied, “Hurry! We are trying to save Han from the bounty hunter.” I kept glancing back, making sure they were close by, but I kept pace with Leia. The pain in my side throbbed but I ignored it. 

Finally, we made it to the East platform, but the ship was already taking off. Leia tried to shoot at it, but I knew we were too late. I looked over to Leia with sadness, and she was clearly even more devastated as she stared at the ship that kept getting smaller.

“Oh, no!” C3PO shouted. “Chewie, they're behind you!” 

We all quickly turned around and got into cover. Stormtroopers shot at us, and I shot back, giving the others cover as they went through a hallway. I quickly followed behind. This continued for a bit, me providing cover for the others and then quickly following them. We got to a door, Lando trying to input a code, but it wasn’t working.

“The security input has been changed,” Lando stated. 

“R2, you can tell the computer to override the security systems,” C3PO ordered. I watched silently as Lando informed the people on his planet of the Empire. R2 beeped wildly as he was shocked. 

“This way,” Lando informed, leading us to another bay. People were running by us as we passed by them. Chewie and I held the stormtroopers at bay on one side, Leia at the other. Chewie growled at me, pushing me towards the door, and I ran towards the Millennium  Falcon. I climbed up the ramp quickly, heading right for the cockpit. I flipped the switches I did before, and the ship turned on. Chewie joined me shortly and started to fly the ship. 

Adrenaline continued to pump through me as all I could think of was Han and Luke. Once again, those two were in danger. I barely noticed when Leia and Lando joined us, too focused on finding enemy ships. 

“(Y/n),” Leia spoke softly. I looked back at her in surprise, body tensing. I noticed her face was a bit hardened, but her eyes showed her softness towards me. “You should go take a break, watch over the droids.”

I shook my head, “I’m fine.” Suddenly, she looked out the window and muttered Luke’s name.

“We’ve got to go back,” Leia whispered. 

“What?” Lando asked in shock.

“I know where Luke is,” She replied, looking at Lando and I. My eyes widened, staring at her intently.

“What about those fighters?” Lando asked. 

I glared at him, “Screw the fighters.”

Chewie growled at Lando, which caused Leia to order, “Just do it.” 

We flew back towards the floating city. Aiming the ship to fly beneath it, Lando pointed out that there was a person on the wire underneath. I felt my heart accelerate as my eyes scanned over the person.

“It’s Luke,” I muttered. 

“Chewie, slow down,” Leia ordered. “We’ll get under him. Lando, open the top hatch.”

“I’ll go,” I argued, standing up. 

“No,” Leia said with a strict tone. “You won’t be able to carry him in your state.” 

I frowned, knowing she was right. But I couldn’t just stand here. So I waited at the bottom of the hatch. I paced back and forth, not sure what I was going to see. Lando came down with Luke in his arms, and it felt like I went into autopilot. I grabbed a blanket that was close to me and threw it around Luke’s shoulders. He looked terrible, handsome, but absolutely battered. His hair was a mess, a cut under his eye, and he was clutching right arm. I hugged Luke, taking him back into a medical bed. 

He seemed so out of it. His eyes were squinting, and I wasn’t sure if he was even really conscious. I started tending to what I could, fear starting to absorb me. Maker, not another near death experience. I ran my hand through his hair, grabbing a wipe to disinfect the cut near his eye. Then, my eyes ran down to his arm and I gasped. Quickly, I grabbed a bandage and wrapped it around where his hand would normally rest.

“(Y/n),” Luke murmured. 

“I’m right here,” I whispered back, holding his cheek gently. Luke's bright blue eyes conveyed hurt, sadness, and…fear. I had no idea what I could do, what I could say. I had no idea what he’s just been through with Vader, to what extent his injuries ran. Just that he was back with me, safe. 

“Father?” Luke called, looking up at the ceiling. I sat back, unsure what to do. “Ben…why didn’t you tell me?”

Luke then started to get up, making me question him, “What are you doing?”

“I need to help them,” He replied back.

“You’re injured,” I argued. “You need to rest.”

“Please,” He pleaded, and I could never say no to those puppy dog eyes. I nodded, and helped him up and to the cockpit. As I helped him sit in one of the chairs, I winced slightly and let out a small grunt of pain. Luke looked up at me with wide eyes and I only waved him off, sitting in the seat across from him. He seemed hesitant, but he gazed back out the windshield to the star destroyer, “Vader.” I kept an eye on him as his expression seemed troubled. I let out a gasp as we were suddenly going at lightspeed. 

I paced in front of the medic room that held Luke. They were currently attaching a prosthetic arm to Luke. I was kept out of the room, Leia telling me that Luke didn’t want me to see him in such a state. What frustrated me was that I had already seen him in that state, and I just wanted to be there for him. My ribs have already been checked out, and they were only bruised, so nothing could be done. Just try not to strain anything. The doors opened, and I turned towards Leia who stood there. 

“He’s ready to see you,” She informed me. She then came over and hugged me gently. No words needed to be said as the hug said everything. It was meant to comfort, meant to be a reassurance, meant to be a promise. That we would be by each other’s side if anything went wrong. I suppose things have already gone wrong. Once we pulled away, I entered the room, greeting the two droids as they passed me on their way out. There stood Luke, watching the galaxy. I stared at him for a few minutes, and he caught my gaze as he turned around. He smiled softly, and I smiled softly back. 

Joining his side, I stared at the stars that glowed brilliantly against the black void of space. So much has changed. I wasn’t sure what to say. I wanted to hug him, hold him, confess, tell him everything would be fine…but would it? Han was still gone, Vader was still out there… I was brought out of my thoughts when I felt Luke hold my hand.

“You’ve changed,” I whispered. “Grown out of that farmboy I used to know.”

“I’m still your Luke,” He murmured back, his gaze piercing  me. “I guess I have grown.”

My heartbeat raced and I felt drawn to his eyes, “Mine?” 

“Always,” He replied, his grin so soft, so sweet. I felt drawn to him, like we were two magnets. 

“I suppose now’s a good time to admit that I’m yours,” I confessed. “If you’d have me.”

“It would be an honor,” He breathed out, his breath fanning across my lips. Nothing more needed to be said. I wasn’t sure who kissed first, but our first kiss was one of love, passion, and longing. A kiss of comfort, and warmth. Sweet, and soft. 

“There’s so much I have to tell you,” Luke muttered once we pulled apart. “I’m scared you’ll see me differently.”

“I love you, Luke,” I replied back. “Nothing’s going to change that.”

#luke skywalker x reader #luke skywalker #star wars #star wars x reader #ESB

[literallycarrie]

i was looking through my notes app and found some notes i wrote while reading edge of great (the jatp novelisation) in feburary 2021 so i thought i'd post them bc i miss the time when i was so obsessed with jatp i could quote large parts of it from memory:

okay it's thicker than i expected this is a good start

multiple povs?! oh my god yesyesyes

i've read one page and I'm already loving it because i was expecting it to just be a retelling of the action with barely any insight to characters thoughts other than "i was feeling sad :(" but it's giving so much more than that

luke says sunset curve were all "vibing" shdhfnd

the dialogue is slightly different in some places but honestly i don't hate it

a pink flower in a vase next to rose?? the dahlia symbolism is here already people

bobby is a cheesy hopeless romantic confirmed

[luke about trying to be modest] "it was a new look for me, i'll admit." avdhfdhdhd

alex interrupts reggie trying to flirt with rose avdbfjdd i'm loving the new dialogue

THE HOT DOG CART IS BASICALLY CALLED SALMONELLA I-

luke makes a joke about staving to death oh god the dramatic irony

julie's literal first words are "my best friend flynn is amazing" 🥺🥺

JULIE SAID FLYNN WAS HER OTHER HALF 🥺🥺😭

loz feliz performing arts high school??

julie calls carrie cute?? girl-

i've been spelling dirty candi as "dirty candy" this whole time. whoops.

trevor has literal platinum records but the thing julie decides to point out is that one of his songs was in a car advert shdjdjfjf

nooo they took out flynn shouting demon at carrie

julie mentions flynn and how amazing she is at nearly every given opportunity

"flynn and i were always straight with each other" this is meant to a dramatic moment but i'm laughing at this ahdjdnem

julie is a writer!! not just of lyrics/poems, she writes other stuff too!!

she describes the garage as being full of ghosts when referring to memories of her mum... i'm living for all the dramatic irony

ahh julie and ray are speaking in spanish to each other so much more than they did the show

the teacup and spoon rose had been using before she died were still there 🥺

julie says that she felt like her mum was telling her to play the cd ahhh

the first thing she says about the guys is that they're cute JULIE AHDJFK

wavy hair reggie yesss

julie says oh my god instead of oh my gosh

julie doesn't know luke's name so she's calling him floppy acdjfjrks

her reasoning for letting the guys stay in the garage was because she thought it was what rose would've done 🥺🥺

ALEX'S POV HELL YEAH

they took out reggie losing his shirt this is so sad 😔

[alex about julie playing wake up] "i couldn't remember the last time I felt so moved by music that wasn't actually my own."

okay i get why they changed povs but i kind of wish we'd gotten julie's pov while she played wake up

the first episode took up about 1/5 of the book jesus-

they skipped the bit about the only thing scarier than one girl crying being two girls crying 😔

flynn: "instagram" alex: "what-stagram?"

flynn hugs julie after she tells her about playing music again awwww

noo they cut out the scene where ray comes in to the studio ffs stop cutting scenes please

alex: "it tingles in weird places" alex, literally one line later: "well, it did."

according to alex the other describe him as "warm and fuzzy"

also so far everyone's pov has called luke out for being too cheesy

reggie: "i'm gonna guess death breath"

alex is now describing luke as the puppy reggie never had

alex calling luke and reggie his family 🥺😭

when julie went into her room and found the guys messing around she was on her way to text flynn 🥺 this book just makes me love their friendship so much more

reggie is described as having "a mop of hair" god i wish 😔

dahlia symbolism count: 3. so far it's been a vase next to rose, the curtains in the studio, and the flowers in julie's picture of her

luke: "our instruments are attached to our souls." reggie: "and sometimes our belts."

okay so the book confirms that julie found therapy helpful but she just didn't want to go back because she thought others would see her as fragile, which imo is a lot better than in the show when she just seemed like she hated it

they merged alex asking if julie got back into music with luke showing her bright which i get because if they kept everything in the book would be pretty long but... idk i kinda liked how it was just julie and luke when he showed her bright

julie describes the wow performance as being like a superbowl half-time show

list of celebs who've been name-dropped so far: weezer, the smashing pumpkins, katy perry, and harry styles

julie wanted to kiss kayla?!? wlw julie confirmed

YES TIME FOR REGGIE'S POV

reggie's internal dialogue is using way more words than necessary and as an autistic person I relate to that so i'm gonna use this as proof reggie is autistic 😙✌

reggie says how little julie's smiled since they met and is now describing her smile in detail 🥺🥺

me, seeing that reggie's pov is already over: :(

me seeing that it's alex's pov and he's about to meet willie: :D

avxhfjfldnd alex was so mesmerised by how beautiful willie was he forgot to speak 😭😭

damn they took out willie asking alex if he's into guys if he wanted a picture with fake marilyn monroe (they changed it to spider-man)

y'all willie gave alex a hip bump I'm dying over here

"wait, how can i see you again?" god this is killing me i love them 😭🥺

"even if you don't have questions" willie is hardcore flirting and i respect that

"i liked the sound of that" god it's been a few minutes and alex is already whipped agshdndm

dahlia reference number 4 (this time it's a mug)

instead of calling julie "insanely talented" luke calls her "annoyingly talented"

julie canonically uses the word "bonkers" and idk why i love that so much

ahhh i'm already halfway through the book and it's still episode 3

FLYNN'S POV OH MY GOD YES YES YES

i'll look at the pictures first though

okay now onto flynn's pov

maybe this is just me, but why does everyone say "mother" instead of "mom" all the time? it seems weirdly formal but whatever

flynn calls flying solo "our song" (meaning her and julie's) 🥺

svdbfjff whenever alex went to meet willie he just said he was going for a walk

wait, walks? plural?! alex and willie had more interactions and we didn't get to see them?! livid 😤

willie wanted to show alex the museum because it was one of his favourite places... god I'm soft

"i would've followed willie just about anywhere" stoppp this is too much for me 😭🤧

"together. i liked the sound of that." awwefdhehrhe

alex's catchphrase seems to be "I liked the sound of that" rather than "okay"

"so close that I could feel his breath" why did I think they were gonna kiss 💀💀

willie: "feels good, right?" alex: "yeah, it does." alex, in his head: "i was talking about the screaming, but i was talking about being here, now, with willie, too." oh god oh fuck-

"wagging an eyebrow" girl why is that worded so weird 😭💀

nah there's no way luke doesn't know what a sample is

yess we're back to luke's pov 😎

the book confirms that it was luke who wrote "hi bobby" on the mirror but i still refuse to believe it because of the one tumblr post i saw comparing all the boys handwriting and saying it was reggie (also the writing it too neat to be luke's 😌)

they cut the entire julie-sneaks-around-while-flynn-distracts-carrie bit 😔 (and also the guys mooning trevor)

"and the truth was, [julie] was becoming important to me. i hated to let her down." awwww 🥺🥺

sbdjfkfl reggie called the hgc creepy and alex got defensive because it "was willie's place"

when luke said they were "overdressed" they all tucked their shirts in

ffs not the eyebrow wagging again (this time from flynn)

so julie considers carrie as her frenemy and not an actual enemy... inch resting...

"the awkward "joke" just sat in the air like dead fish" abdhfjf what are these metaphors

HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT WILLIE'S POV?!?! I WAS NOT EXPECTING THAT HOLY FUCK AHHHHH

awww when alex asked about the lifers being "sworn to secrecy" willie wanted to telm him about caleb owning everyone at the hgc's souls but he couldn't 🥺🥺 if I catch anyone posting willie slander it's on sight 🥊😠🥊

OKAY WHAT I'M LIVID - they reduced the whole "do this forever"/"there's a lot to like here" thing to just the dialogue. literally no mentions of the lingering glances or luke's "you got a crush on willie". fucking disgraceful. i hate it here.

THERE - WE LITERALLY HAVE PROOF THAT WILLIE DIDN'T KNOW CALEB WANTED THE GUYS TO JOIN HE HGC WILLIE ANTIS CAN GO HOME NOW

willie watched the guys getting stamped and said it felt like his stomach was filling with lead SEE I WILL NOT TOLERATE ANY WILLIE SLANDER IN THIS HOUSE

willie noticed alex looking into the crowd before leaving and wondered if he was looking for him... do tell me willie who else could he possibly be looking for

"alex said, looking stressed (then again, when did alex look not stressed?)" avshdnfmfr

julie describes nick's voice as "soft" and "graveled"

apparently julie has had a crush on nick since kindergarten, and in kindergarten nick cried because he couldn't get the lid off of his glue stick

luke says that knowing he let julie down at the dance hurt more than caleb's jolts 🥺🥺

the boys' little "sorry" song has it's lyrics written the same way the other songs, the ones actually in the soundtrack, do. tell me jatp why the sorry song isn't on the soundtrack right now 🔫😠

literally no mention of alex's dancing what in the homophobia

according to julie, finally free is about the power of connecting through music, but i still choose to believe it's a gay anthem about coming out

when julie saw her dad cooking breakfast and humming finally free she "almost died from how cute it was"

wait i just realised throughout this whole book there's been barely any mentions of julie and luke sharing the mic, and nothing about luke and reggie sharing either, and julie waking through luke in bright was just ignored. disgusting.

julie canonically thinks ray is the best dad ever 🥺🥺

that being said I'm pissed the book cut reggie from this scene

julie describes herself as being "charmed" by luke being nervous jskdkkdhs

flynn's pov again babey 😎

lmao nevermind the chapter was two pages long

also the whole perfect harmony sequence is just cut and all we hear is julie mention it to flynn... bruh

reggie and alex both see how hard luke is simping for julie and just give each other shit-eating grins whenever he mentions her dgehdjdj

when willie tells alex he can't explain why he's spying on him alex says "and to think i had felt there had maybe been something between us" fuckk

alex wondered if willie had ever had feelings for him or if he was playing him the whole time 🥺😭 bby nooo

they cut girls amirite... no one talk to me...

y'all... i think, other from julie, alex has had the most pov chapters... interesting...

the boys were literally so distressed about flynn eating pizza when they could smell it and not eat it and said they'd die of deprivation sgdhdjfkd

alex: *was choking back a sob*

willie: *was choking back a sob*

me: *was also choking back a sob*

😃 wtf... when willie says he cares about alex and hates that he brought them all into this mess, alex snaps at him... bro wtf that is not what happened and doesn't fit in with what alex was feeling in that moment at all... fuck this book

julie hugs flynn in the book at lot more than in the show so maybe it does have rights after all...

they've made a "face the music" pun at least 5 times so far in this book

wait - luke says that julie played his parents unsaid emily implying she sang it?? yo...

"but there was nothing I could say, nothing I could do, to make things better. so instead, I watched her go." why does that line hit so hard

"i pulled him in for a quick hug" lmao girl no

I JUST REALISED they cut the "i would've still followed you" scene 😭 the homophobia of it all 💀💀

'"i won't forget you," he said before spoofing out. Me either.' god don't do this to me today 🥺🥺

"with my smoothest dance move" now THAT'S the alex i know and love

the promoter and his assistant have names now: frank and tasha

the book's nearly over and i just realised there were barely any reggie pov chapters 🥺 not only is he my comfort character i also really liked his internal dialogue... oh well 😔

they really let there be spelling mistakes in this book smh

"who knew sunset boulevard smelled like cat pee and old takeout containers? not very glamorous, given that this was my hollywood rockstar dream."

"the music filling me like air - like joy" god I love that line

julie feels the need to point out how good luke looks in his tuxedo avdhdndmd

"i'm gonna miss you." "not as much as we're gonna miss you." oh god oh fuck-

wait THEY GRABBED HANDS ON STAGE??! AM I MISSING SOMETHING!?!?

"are you real?" "we were always real. But now... maybe... we're here?"

okay so i finished it and it was fun to read overall but i felt like past episode 3 was very rushed and condensed (makes sense since episode 3 finished past the half-way point of the book) and it stopped being as well written (barely any internal dialogue and descriptors), and some moments were mischaracterised heavily (including a lot of the willex) and juke just didn't seem developed at all. also i wish reggie had gotten more pov chapters since he's, y'know, a main character. i'm pretty sure he got, like, 2 :( also a lot of the music scenes lacked emotion but since this is an adaptation of something with music without music i'll let it slide. it was still nice to read either way.

#unfortunately my brain lost the capacity to be completely and utterly obsessed with jatp #but it still holds a special place in my heart #lova's terrible posts #jatp #julie and the phantoms #the edge of great #jatp book #jatp novelisation #julie molina #alex mercer #luke patterson #reggie peters #willie jatp #willie wilbur williamson #flynn taylor #flynn jatp #carrie wilson #ray molina #caleb covington

[yagirlpurplefox12]

Imagine: Being Young and Crushing On Luke Duke

Dukes of Hazards (2005)

Luke Duke x Female Reader

Age Gap

No romance but intentions for a future one

When you moved to Hazard County in Georgia, you were completely miserable. Coming from New York—north—to Georgia was truly a culture shock. Less people of color, sexuality, the dialectic southern drawl, and just how uptight rowdy they are. Which makes no sense to you. Usually uptight people are not rowdy, welp, not in Georgia. Though, one thing you do appreciate yet at the same time needed to get used to were the smiles. You remember the first time someone smiled at you in Hazard County…at least the first time you noticed. See, in New York if someone smiled at you, it’s wasn’t a good sign.

But here in Georgia, the people are actually just being friendly. The first time someone smiled at you was a blonde female who showed a lot of skin. Low key, you liked her style. It made sense since it’s hot and humid as hell.

You remember squaring up to her, asking her what her problem was. At first she was shocked but after hearing your dialect she understood you misunderstood her intentions.

“I’m sorry, I don’t mean any harm. Just, what’s a sweet girl like you hanging around by yourself? Isn’t it school time?”

“Yeah, but I’m new here. Came from Staten Island and just wanted to have a little adventure…it’d probably be nicer if I was old enough to drive a car.” That was the day you met Daisy Duke and the rest became history. You were only 14 years old at the time—a Freshmen in High School. After Daisy kicked some sleaze bag trying to grope you with her deadly heels, she drove you to her uncle’s house for some dinner. Meeting her family and it was the first time you wished you were older.

At least legal age.

Luke is his name.

Charismatic, charming, funny, loyal, and the most handsome guy you ever laid your eyes on.

And from there you knew you fucked up by accepting Daisy’s offer for dinner.

Now, three and a half years later pass…and though you have grown into an incredible individual living life as best as you can in Hazard County, Georgia…being with Luke hurts more and more as the days go on. Even seeing him makes your heart ache. He’s a player and that’s something you don’t like about him, but he’s a sweetheart to you. Such a sweetheart that after the whole racing and saving Hazard County event that you were happily part of, you drink.

A lot.

Definitely not helpful that the Duke’s basically has a moonshine business. Here you are with Uncle Jesse talking about how different yet similar your generations are when Bo and Luke come walking through the door with stupid grins on their faces. You don’t know how he knows, but Jesse looks towards you with pity and you hate it. Avoiding his gaze, you put on your best fake smile for the boys, “Hey assholes, what shit have you done now?”

“Don’t worry little one, Luke and I were just messing around earlier.”

“Mm? Sounds fun.”

“Bo and I are gonna meet up with those college girls that were in the car with us, remember (F/N)?”

“Oh, well that’s just fucking wonderful,” you spit out and gasp at yourself. You are too drunk right now for this. Both the boys look taken aback while Jesse abruptly stands up and pats you on the shoulder. “I think you’ve had one too many. Let’s get you home, huh?”

“No! I just need to walk.”

Huffing, you slam the glass you were holding on the table and stumble out of your chair. Luke gently grabs you to get you steady, but his touch on you is the last thing you want. Swatting him away, you open the front door and do what you told them you needed. You walked.

“What was that,” Luke asked, his eyes staring at the front door. He has never really seen you angry nor drunk before. Jesse debates whether to tell him or not, but he did deeply care for you and also for weeks him and Daisy talked about how cute you two would be together if you were of age. So, for him this is a good opportunity to tell Luke before he messes it up forever. “She likes you Luke.” “I like her too,” he says with a small smile.

“No you dumbass. I mean she likes like you, as in she has a crush on you. Has been probably since she first met you.”

“Woah,” Bo says dramatically.

“Cousin, I have noticed lately that she’s been distancing herself mostly from you.”

“There’s no way she likes me like that, she can do better. I can be an idiot many times but she never is, and besides I’m an old man compared to how old she is.”

Bo shakes is head and tells Luke to not speak about himself like that.

“Oh yeah? Then what about the girls we were planning to “get to know better”? Shit, wait so she has a crush on me is that why she just left?”

“What do you think,” Jesse goes to his room to let the boys sink in the “new” information. For a bit, it was silent till Bo broke it by laughing out loud. Pissing Luke off. “Luke, I totally see it now. How can you be such a fool? Poor little one, we just announced to her that we were basically going to have sex with the college girls. Haha…ha…oh boy...”

“Yeah oh boy,” Luke snaps at Bo, clearly now pissed off at not only Bo but mostly himself.

You’re Bo’s and his friend despite being years younger than them. They are in their middle 20s while you are just turning eighteen in two more months. In a way, you are just a baby to them but at the same time you are so much more mature than them and have been through some rough things in life. You’re the one that comes up with the many amazing plans to not only bug Rosco but to also get away. When the town was saved, it was Luke’s idea for you to have the true spotlight you deserved for many of the successful ideas were from you.

Luke has noticed that you have been distancing yourself, but he didn’t want to acknowledge that and instead thought you were just being a young, carefree teenager going to parties everyday. Which you did. That still didn’t sit well with him.

He has never seen you in any other way because you are young and barely legal. So, why would he ever think of you sexually? Never in a million years but now he can admit that since you are two months from being 18 and now realizing how stupid he was for not noticing your feelings towards him there is some relief.

“I’m gonna find her and talk.”

Leaving the house, Luke sets off to find you at the back sitting on a tree branch with tears in your eyes. Sniffling, you didn’t hear him walking from the side.

“Sweetheart,” he calls out making a startled and losing your balance on the branch. Squeezing your eyes shut, you hear him curse as you wait for a painful impact. Instead of the ground, fortunately, you land on something slightly softer. Opening you eyes, you stare into Luke’s brown ones. He protectively has his arms wrapped around your back, his hands squeezing your sides in reassurance. “You okay,” he asks catching his breath.

“Yeah, I’m okay. You okay?”

“I think so. Let’s get up.”

He helps push you up and you grab his to do the same. “Think you broke my back sweetheart.”

“Sorry old man.”

“Hey,” he hesitates and licks his lips nervously standing straighter, “I’m sorry for never noticing. Never noticing how you feel towards me and to flirt in front of so many women like those college girls in front of you, can’t imagine how that must’ve felt…but I don’t want this to end what we have…and���umm…”

“Luke, you don’t need to—!”

“Yeah I do because your feelings matter to me. You matter to me.”

He sighs and puts a hand on your elbow.

You can feel how clammy his hands are and can’t help but feel bad. It’s not his fault you fell for him and it’s not his fault that he’s older.

Shrugging off his hand, you put both of yours on his shoulders with a teary smile, “It’s okay Luke, I just need time.”

“So why don’t we wait.”

“…What?”

“You’re almost eighteen, so let’s wait. Now, I can’t think of you anymore than the stubborn New York kid that can here ready to swing at anyone who was nice, but maybe that’s because you’re still a kid. And in a few months when you are of age I’ll think differently…and so maybe you will too. So how about it angel? If you still like me, let’s go on a date?”

Not believing he is giving you this opportunity, you laugh in shock and hug him tightly. The moonshine quickly washing through your veins. He hugs back and laughs with you.

“Hell yeah, you better keep your promise.”

“You bet I will angel.”

#dukes of hazzard #luke duke #johnny knoxville #luke duke x reader #luke duke x female reader #reader #reader insert #imagine #dukes of hazzard x reader #x reader #female reader #the dukes of hazzard #the dukes of hazzard 2005 #the dukes of hazzard x female reader

[unohanabbygirl]

Hi!! Thank you for answering my ask about a crossover between FMN and HIPS. I am fully obsessed with this idea so could you expand more on your thoughts..because I have MANY questions. What’s Aemond’s relationship like with the rest of his family in modern times once they all remember? Alicent stayed by his side in HIPS but I would imagine that modern Alicent is no longer a r*pe apologist. Does Daeron just leave immediately and emancipates himself once he remembers? What about the others? Also I have to ask about how differently you characterize Viserys, Aemma, and Laenor after learning what happened (esp Viserys)?

Does Aemond avoid history, art, and even religion because he would be demonized 10x worse by all those fields? You had that recent ask about art depicting Luke’s death and mythologizing/romanticizing it, and how Aemond wants to look away but is unable to. In this scenario where’s he actually did r*pe Luke does he just break down seeing what he did depicted and then analyzed by people and knowing it doesn’t come close to how horrible it was? This crossover is such a puzzle because in the original story of FMN Aemond at least can somehow believe that under his murderous rage Luke’s death was his fault, but also in part an accident which makes it easier for the family to reconcile. In this scenario where Aemond didn’t kill Luke but assaulted him, I feel like it’s much more difficult to deal with. Most of your characters in FMN seem to have fully embraced their old selves and don’t see it as much a set of extra memories but a second chance at life. I guess what I’m trying to ascertain is whether his family thinks he’s innocent since he hasn’t done anything in modern times, or if they still view him to be a r*pist because they are all living as their old selves rather than new people (like Luke is). Does this Q make sense? It’s some weird timey whimey stuff ik. It’s sort of like the time travel question of whether someone is guilty of a crime they will commit in the future—but flipped. Is Aemond guilty of a crime he committed in a past life and which is very present in their memories and new lives (made even more evident by Osferth still existing?) even if present times Aemond hasn’t technically done anything?

If abo dynamics do exist in modern times how does the whole prime alpha thing affect Aemond then? It might have been a blessing in medieval times but not modern day. It would def affect who he is allowed to be around or what jobs he can have if he can suddenly experience rut madness. Is he kept away from Helaena’s children and are they scared of him because of what he did to Luke? Is it more difficult to sit through those gender studies classes he took to make up for the fact he was a raging misogynist in canon? Also…How different is Luke’s life in now that he’s an omega and has a different relationship to sex now that he can get pregnant? A large portion of the main story is Luke’s trial so how would that go with Luke being an omega? I’d think it would make him more sympathetic but who knows with misogyny. Sorry for this massive list of questions!! It just makes FMN so much more tragic if we use HIPS as the original story

Hey babes, I’ve been meaning to answer this but I needed time to sit back and think. This crossover has become a favorite of mine so I took some notes!

Aemond’s relationship with most of the others in modern day is very shitty. Now that’s not to say that he isn’t trying to grow and become a better man because he is, but many of Aemond’s negative traits are so much more deeply ingrained and made worse/are enabled by this society that making a genuine change is almost impossible for a man like him without giving it his all. Not to mention that most of the family besides his mother and Helaena basically hate him and straight up ignore his existence most of the time. (Aegon doesn’t fuck with him but it has nothing to do with him violating Luke because he honestly couldn’t care less about his none-Jace nephews)

Alicent being a r*pe apologist in modern day all depends on the family she’s born into. Are her parents the liberal, equality for all type or white picket fence conservatives? She’s the sort of woman whose so tied down by the patriarchy that in order for her to learn from her ways and grow she’d have to be given that guiding hand from a very young age, so it all depends on her upbringing. But regardless of this she’ll always love her son, its simply the way she interacts with him and comforts him that depends on if she tries to help him become better or coddle him and act as if he was the victim at Storm’s End.

Helaena is a different story because while she finds Aemond’s actions abhorrent, he’s still her brother and one of few people she’s ever had that don’t turn their nose up at her. However, she very much loves Luke in her own unique way despite not having the closest relationship. So while she spends time with Aemond, she’d make it a point to encourage change within him. Poor thing always sees the better in people even when she probably shouldn’t.

Daeron still holds onto the faith big time and their reincarnation just solidifies that his gods ( and therefore their preachings) are true. He’d absolutely find a way out of the family as soon as he could because such sins don’t simply wash away with time. I imagine Daeron would either become very close to one of his newer more distant relatives like a cousin or aunt, and spend as much time as he could with them before being able to move out on his own. While emancipation would be an option he desires, there simply isn’t much evidence for any court to decide he’s better off on his own than in his mother’s care.

I love answering questions about Vizzy, Aemma and Laenor because I don’t get them quite often so here we go.

We all know that the Velaryon boys aren’t biologically Laenor’s, but he loves them all the same. His space of mind depends on whether he actually died in the past or if he agreed to fake his death and escape to the free cities. This has the ability to change his character as a whole because he could either feel hate and resentment towards Daemon and Rhaenyra for setting up his death or fall into a nasty cycle of self hatred for leaving his family. I imagine that in both scenarios he feels immense guilt for what happened to Luke and even go as far as to blame himself to a degree. Nowadays there’s a large pool of studies and findings on how stress in the home can affect a child’s presentation making them a late bloomer. For example, children that are trapped in abusive house holds, teetering on the poverty line, or have lost an important person/people in their lives recently, sometimes don’t present until their mid teens and even up until their late twenties in rare cases. Major stress halts proper development and poor Luke was constantly stressed for a variety of reasons.

Because of such immense stress on Luke’s shoulders due to just about everything, he presented late, leading to his chase and eventual assault. Laenor seees his death or “death” as the reason. Thinks that if he remained with his family then Luke would’ve presented on time and remained on dragonstone rather than taking the trip as an envoy because lets face it, most of the Targs/Velaryons would see an omega as inherently weaker and try to keep Luke as close to their sides as possible.

Aemma is an interesting case because she died well before any of this. She holds much more resentment towards Viserys in his AU than the original FMN verse and more than likely would refuse to rekindle their relationship at all. Especially after learning about what his and Alicent’s son did to her grandson. She may have died long before he was born, but she’s always had a soft spot for Omega’s seeing as her mother was one.

This Aemma would refuse to even shake hands with any of the Targtowers and stands on that ten toes down. Sees them as nothing more than a physical manifestation of Viserys selfish nature while also being the best great-grandmother she could to Osferth since he’s just as much a victim in all this. No one chooses to be born, ya know?

And finally we have Vizzy T…the best way to describe him is defensive. Growing up hearing the history of the dance and how his own failures as king led to a multitude of problems leaves him feeling as though he needs to defend his case. His entire defense is basically him saying ‘how was I supposed to know my horrible children whom I neglected would grow up to do terrible things??? There’s no handbook on how to parent 😤”

As he grows and learns Viserys would for sure see just how much his neglect molded his children with Alicent into the people that history remembers. And just Like Laenor he’d grow to blame himself for what happened to Luke because it was his shitty decisions (butchering his wife, marrying Alicent, and not abdicating when he still had the chance) that led to the dance in the first place.

Aemond is the type of man to punish himself for his sins, so leaning into a position at a fine arts museum where he’s surrounded by reminders of such sins would be his first choice. These extremely graphic depictions leave him with a feeling of immense guilt while also satisfying a sick part of himself that craves to he seen and recognized by all. Being carved in history as such a prominent figure gives him a sense of accomplishment. He’s demonized and hated by most, seen as the prime example of an omega brutalizer by various omega rights organizations as well as anyone who isn’t a piece of shit, but Aemond couldn’t care less about how the modern world views him because all that matters is that he’s been frozen in history.

Thats not to say he’s proud of what did or thinks his actions are in anyway okay because he does regret them, even goes as far as to constantly reach out to Rhaenyra in hopes of forming a proper bond with his son since the least he could do is be there for him. But even with all of that he’s unable to help the happiness that comes with knowing history never forgot him. Its sick and downright disgusting, but it just shows us how deep his inability to hold himself to the fire is. Makes us wonder if these things are the problem of nature or nurture.

Again, this Aemond is based off of F&B so he truly sucks big time. Even when he claims he’s trying to change.

I like your question because its perfect grounds for a deep discussion. Are people still guilty of acts they committed lifetime’s ago? Or are they suddenly absolved because they’ve been reborn centuries later? Its like that popular scenario; “if you could go back in time and kill ___ as a baby to prevent a horrible event”

A lot of people say no and others say yes, while some just ask if they could set them in a different household and hope they don’t grow up to be a pos. You could blame Aemond for what happened because he’s still himself at heart despite being reborn or you could decide that since he hasn’t hurt anyone in this lifetime that technically he’s innocent. It all depends on how you view reincarnation. Of course the blacks see Aemond as guilty because deep down this is still Aemond we’re talking about, but Alicent thinks her son as well as herself are innocent because this is an entirely new life.

However, the blacks see Osferth being reborn as soild evidence that Aemond will always be guilty of hurting Luke. Living, breathing proof of their son/brother’s assault till this day.

I love this question because world building makes me so happy!

Yes, a/b/o dynamics do exist however as time goes on beta’s begin to be the majority while alpha and omega are the minority. I feel this only makes sense because humanity no longer has to abide by that “survival of the fittest” mentality as well as the decreasing priority of being ‘pureblood’ within nobility. Therefore the whole “we must wed strong alphas to other strong alphas and preserve the holy fertility of the omega.” Is no longer a popular mindset. People simply love and create families regardless of second gender which overtime has caused the beta gene to dominate. Think of it like blondes and brunette. The brunette gene will more likely than not dominate though there are instances where the blonde phenotype wins the race.

Because of this Prime alphas are basically nonexistent therefore society isn’t very equipped to handle their nature in any way other than pills and the like. I’d describe it as a form of chemical castration, a way to prevent harm to the vulnerable.

Of course primes can refuse but it does make living in society hard because both public and most private schools require any primes past the age of 10 to be on such medications should their parents want to sign them up. Jobs will also refuse primes if they aren’t being treated. It’s simply too much of a risk. Not to mention that while there are few, prime alphas who commit an act of sexual assault do in fact use rut madness as their defense which leads down a very slippery slope in court. All in all, going down the route of chemical castration once a prime reaches somewhere around 15 or 16 makes everything easier for everyone.

While it hurts his pride, Aemond is more than willing to go through with this because he wants to have a relationship with his son AND Luke once he’s found. It also makes Helaena more comfortable with him being around her children, none of which are alphas. However the Maelor plus the twins are fearful to a certain degree because while they love their uncle, they’re always a bit weary.

Luke’s relationship with sex and his secondary gender is a worlds different. He presented around 10, and while he was under stress due to his unstable environment its not as much compared to the constant standards being a royal who’s also an alleged bastard put on his shoulders.

Luke takes to his dynamic easier then before due to the various omega public figures as well as a few older omegas to act as guidance throughout his life. He doesn’t see himself as lower for his status nor does he find it to be shameful. If anything he’s still as wild and free as we know him to be in FMN. Luke sees himself as equal regardless of the fact that he has breasts and can carry a couple of brats if he wanted to. The complete opposite of his past self. While he has a very critical low self esteem his confidence in his gender identity never wavers, proudly wearing more feminine things while also being quick to remind others that he’s just as much a man as any old Alpha or beta.

His attitude comes as a helping hand to a slightly insecure Osferth when the time for them to reunite comes around. Rekindling their mother-son relationship despite not being aware of it on the surface.

#asks #I’m going to write more in a separate post because these questions are ace!

[actualbird]

Hiya Zak!

Lately I've been wondering, how do you write your fics? Do you have a process? A starting point?

Also, I know a major part ppl talk about in writing is "show not tell", how do you know if you're telling instead of showing? Cause I know that I, for one, would look down at what I wrote and have no idea if I'm showing or telling.

eyyo roshie-writes :DDD

ive actually answered the question on my writing process several times before. heres the latest time i answered that question in depth (answered in dec 2021), but the tl;dr is "i make at minimum 2 outlines before Actually Writing, and my outlines get Very detailed so im effectively writing each fic at least 3 times before it actually gets posted on ao3, because i apparently love to make myself suffer" jHVJHVKJFHD

but forreal, that ask does basically go thru my entire writing process, from idea conception to Actual Writing. and my process hasnt changed one bit since then. this has been my process since like, 2015 actually HAHA. it really works for me and how my brain is Built, but every single writer is different. what works for me may not work for others. like, i am Hugely reliant on outlines, but i know a lot of writers who get bogged down by outlines and prefer to write just straight to the page, and it's really fascinating and delightful to me that there are endless methods and ways to get a story out :D

what i wanted to talk about more is the "show dont tell" thing because.....

i hate that writing tip so much JHVKJDVFJKHDSFS

and u just gave me an excuse to talk about why at length! but i still also answer ur questions ofc! just.....after i talk about a whole lot of other things oops

for easy reference, heres the chronological table of contents im gonna go through under the cut (because this response got Long As Hell it's---OH GOD IT'S OVER 1.4K WORDS LONG, IM SO SORRY)

what "show dont tell" is (bcuz definitions r important)

litmus test to figure out whether youre showing or telling

why i dont like "show dont tell" (bcuz theres a time and place for both showing and telling, they both have benefits)

how i personally like to spruce up "telling"

feel free to skip over to the litmus test, since thats what u asked for! the rest is just me rambling because i am Very passionate about the benefits of "telling" HAHA

without further ado, lemme get into it!

-

what "show dont tell" is (bcuz definitions r important)

Telling is = giving the information that a sentence/scene is trying to convey outright.

Showing is = giving the information that a sentence/scene is trying to convey through description.

so in its simplest definition, an example of a Telling sentence could be, for example "The office of Luke's detective agency was often messy, but Rosa's has always known that Luke's a bit of a messy person."

meanwhile a Showing version of that sentence could be, for example "Upon entering the office of Luke's detective agency, there were discarded reports on the floor, dusty file boxes in disarray, a half empty bag of dried figs on the couch; all of which Rosa just sighs fondly at."

at this point, i wanna say that "show dont tell" is probably a very popular piece of advice because for many beginner writers or for people new to storytelling in general, the first instinct is to tell. because it's often more direct, and it's also how we generally tell stories in casual conversation, for example. like, when im telling my friend about a funny thing that happened at work, i tell them "dude this thing made me SO FUCKING NERVOUS" which is a Telling sentence. i usually dont go "my hands were shaking the entire time i was giving this presentation and my gut felt like it was twisting into itself" which is a Showing sentence, simply because the Telling sentence is easier and quicker to say.

Telling is first instinct, but reading a 5k short story that is all Telling can get pretty boring or monotonous, because what Showing has that Telling often doesnt have is Description. Showing fleshes out a scene some more, challenges the reader to surmise details on their own and connect the dots themselves, and also trains beginners to be more active in describing their scenes and fleshing it out further.

-

litmus test to figure out whether youre showing or telling

in general when youve got a Telling sentence, the information a sentence is trying to convey is most usually directly spelled out in the sentence itself.

on the flipside, when youve got a Showing sentence, the information is something that can be garnered from the descriptors of what can be seen, how other characters react, etc.

so long as a sentence is Not Outright saying the information it wants to get across, then youve probably got a showing sentence.

so if ur trying to figure out if what youve written is Telling or Showing, first ask yourself "what information am i trying to convey here?" and once you know that, look at what youve written and see how you conveyed it. did you convey this directly? or did you allude to it using details that lead to that information?

to demonstrate, let me go back to my previous example with luke and rosa. both sentences are conveying two pieces of information. 1) that the office is usually messy and 2) that rosa isn't surprised cuz she knows luke Lives Like This

the Telling sentence says these pieces of info outright. meanwhile the Showing sentence doesnt and takes more time to give details that simply allude to those two pieces of information, details like what shit luke has strewn around his apartment and rosa's reaction.

-

why i dont like "show dont tell" (bcuz theres a time and place for both showing and telling, they both have benefits)

i dont like "show dont tell" because a lot of the time, when i see this piece of writing advice, it's worded as "ALWAYS show and NEVER tell" and uh.......no, thats not right

first off, all writing advice is Not absolute. what works for one writer may not work for another writer and no technique out there is inherently Bad, it all Depends on so many factors. secondly, the balance between Showing and Telling is also hugely reliant on each writer's specific style. like, personally i love to do Telling a bunch for sentence structure variation, for humor/comedy, or for a whole lot of other reasons!! which leads me to my third point:

Telling has its uses and its benefits.

because listen......Showing is indeed really great, and like i said earlier, it pushes writers to flesh out scenes more.

but not every scene or piece of information in a story needs to be fleshed out in the way that Showing necessitates.

i like to think about it this way. Showing has the tendency to expand a scene/information, and i visualize this literally. like, if my story was represented by 5 accordions glued to each other (bear with me here), and i just so happened wanted to use Showing for everything, all of those accordions would be stretched out and expanded. on the flipside, if i use Telling for everything, all of those accordions are pushed tight together, because Telling tends to contract a scene/information.

having a story thats 5 accordions long that made up of All Telling OR All Showing is generally not how stories work. instead, stories are a mix of accordions, some contracted and some expanded, because different scenes/information have different levels of importance and value.

like, lemme use an example from chapter 2 of "yes, she’s my lover, yes, she’s a half-dragon. any more questions?" since thats one of my most recent non smut fics HAHA

over the course of this chapter, the following happens

luke realizes he needs to find out more information on ria being half dragon

luke starts writing to vyn, a scholar, who could have that info

luke travels to stellis to meet vyn

luke meets vyn at his bookshop and theres a whole situation that happens there

luke returns back to his and ria's cottage

luke and ria have a little heart to heart over dinner about stuff

of those 6 things, numbers 4 and 6 are the most important scenes to me. in the chapter, numbers 4 and 6 are the scenes that get most fleshed out, they are the most told through Showing sentences in a Showing kind of method

but the other stuff isnt as important in the chapter, but they still need to be there for logistical reasons. number 1 needs to be there to setup the reason for why this whole chapter happens, but i dont want to bog the entire chapter down with just luke Realizing He Needs More Info, so i write number 1 mostly in hindsight, and mostly through Telling sentences.

same goes with numbers 2, 3, and 5. those things need to happen to get from scene to scene, but it's not like it's narratively important for me to write out luke's entire medieval fantasy commute. i can just say "One of the kingdom’s main cities is a quarter-day’s ride away from the nearby village, and after letting Ria know that he’s off to do some errands, Luke hitches a ride with a vendor on his way to the city; Stellis." and boom, done, we're in stellis and now we can get on with the more interesting bits

Telling has its uses because a story can't always be Showing everything, because then that puts every single instance or piece of information at Exactly the same value. when it really isnt! sometimes, a guy just needs to get from point A to point B, and so long as nothing important is happening during that travel, Telling is a much more economical way to go about it. sometimes the info Needs to be conveyed, but not necessarily expanded.

and this can make the stuff that is expanded and is done through Showing more impactful or striking because of the contrast. like, in the chapter i used as an example, thats 6 accordions, but 2 are completely expanded while the other 4 are more contracted. this makes the 2 more notable because it's chock full of description, dialog, imagery, etc. it makes more of an impact than, say, luke's medieval fantasy commute, because i contracted that accordion and expanded these accordions.

additionally, i seem to see a lot of people who espouse "ALWAYS show and NEVER tell" seeing Telling as something that will always be boring and dull.

and Telling can be dull sometimes, sure, but there are definitely ways to spruce it up and make it integral to the story. which leads me to my next point

-

how i personally like to spruce up "telling"

ok it's at this point that i realize this response is now over 1.4k words long so UHHHH I'LL GO THROUGH THIS NEXT BIT SUPER QUICKLY

which will be easy cuz i actually wrote up a whole post about this before, so lemme just link it: "USE YOUR CHARACTER'S PERSPECTIVE IN "TELLING" TO MAKE "TELLING" MORE ENGAGING" POST

-

uh so. this response got outta hand jhvjhVKJHVKHJ but i hope something her can be helpful!!!

#i get uh....impassioned when talking abt writing processes and techniques jVKJVKJH #asks #roshie-writes

[f0xgl0v3]

New Rome, maybe? Working on a map, Sobbing in the back rooms-

Summary; I lie about talking about anything of substance, and am thinking about starting a companion in character blog, I’m caving on my plushie obsession, I lie about what I’m gonna post about because it’s gonna be Dakota or the Dionysus twins

I’m tired and slightly unhinged while writing this, but so far I’ve made a total of 5 maps roughly, of various designs of Camp Jupiter. I still have to actually uh, make a proper map; but then I’d have to decide what actually everything was looking like, buildings, how training actually works in CJ and where that takes place; etc, etc. anyway I’m not here to sob over that (yet- especially after I’m doing the whole ‘but what if it was more alike to the og legion??’ Shtick)

But for now I’m gonna talk a little about my concepts for and what we know about New Rome, layout, buildings, and other things based on a mix of various canon maps, actual historical records of Roman city structure, general assumption, and descriptions of New Rome (mostly that would be from SoN and MoA i think- I’ll have to go re-read the New Rome parts respectively before I begin layout work-)

HOWEVER,

I’m going to start a notebook specifically for the documentation and my thought process of the whole New Rome/Camp Jupiter/PJO-verse?? Re-imagining. And I’ll probably begin reporting back on my findings and post on the actual jumbled ideas for this because instead of working on that fun little thing where I re-imagine how the seven plot works (because that means I’d inject a extra book in there and I’d actually sob if I’d have to re-read HoO because I only finished it in August of this year and the rate at which I got through books was disproportionate, please I finished SoN in one day then it took me 2 months to finish MoA-)

But yes, New Rome New Rome- there are very certain things I’d want to settle out. Or for right now at least, before I through my self back into designing a city-

Both the Chariot racing, and Gladiator battles for war games take place in New Rome, as the respective areas for each are hosted in New Rome. I’d imagine that New Rome have their celebrity athletes inside of the modern Rome society of people that play classical Roman sports/games. I have been working with the assumption that both Camp and New Rome have some form of a ‘Forum’ area- in the most basic idea of a Forum area for Camp; I’m looking into making a good balance of how I want Camp to be made so I might change any of that- we’d just have to see.

Okay, okay, but the important things!

I might make a different blog in rp for my character Mercury (or I posted her as Calliope, but I guess she’ll never escape being named after Gods- though Mercedes or Sicily are still name options and I’m getting off topic-) just for the actual official; formatted ideas for New Rome and Camp Jupiter. I’d probably present it as ‘oh this blog is for New Legionnaires/ young citizens in New Rome waiting to join the Legion’ and would present my thoughts more coherently.

Basically here is where the goopy thinking parts of making the ideas would be; whereas over there would be where you would get the actual information (I might also finish the notion page I was working on but that one genuinely hurt my soul to repeatedly work in and on)

But I dunno; I got the idea from a separate blog that I just followed (I’ll link it after I post it so I get this right, @new-rome-historians-association the actual inspiration for the companion blog )and it seems like a fun idea, but I don’t know if people would be interested as it is purely fannon.

Anyway; I’ll get either that CJ fatal flaw PT. 2 post up finally, a Luke Castellan thing, maybe the Gods, or Octavian

ALSO IM GETTING THE WOLF PUP BUILD-A-BEAR, I CAVED; HIS NAME IS AUGUSTUS BUT WE CALL HIM GUS- ILL SHOW PICS WHEN HE ARRIVES!!

Okay, byeee :3

#camp jupiter #fanon #ideas #concept #project concepts #idk how to tag this #I listen to warrior cats videos whenever I need to post something #making maps sucks #taking suggestions

[pastsaoi]

i'd love to know about all of the wips because of the sheer potential of all of them, really.

bet okay here we go ty for asking!! all of these r drafts so excuse anything that is clunky or weird sounding

part 2 in the 'is marius von hagen an idiot or just bisexual' series

this revolves around marius being allergic to silver. all his jewellery is platinum and he gets touched by luke Who Is Wearing A Silver Ring At The Time. queue a nasty rash all over and he never notices the ring bc he is more focused on luke, which leads to mar believing he is allergic to Luke Pearce and asking the rest of the team about it. he is genuinely distressed at the thought of potentially being allergic to luke

Whenever it was just Vyn, Robin and Artem in the NXX Headquarters, it was quite peaceful. They got on with their work with quiet conversations and no terrible, very bad ideas. With Robin present, it stopped Artem and Vyn from their bickering and, thus, it was calm. Serene one could say. The perfect environment to work and not fuck it up. Though it could also be said that this was simply calm before the storm.

So when the quick pounding of footsteps echoed around the hall near the door, Vyn took a deep breath, Artem rubbed at his temples and Robin clasped her hands together, hoping for something normal for the team like a murder or missing persons case.

"CAN YOU BE ALLERGIC TO PEOPLE?"

Her hopes had not been answered and Robin simply stared at where Marius stood at the doorway, looking… well, like shit.

once upon a fucking december

Okay so. Anastasia is my favourite film of All Time so ofc i had to make a tot au for it!! i have many different variations for this idea such as: rosa as anya and luke as dimitri, vyn as anya and rosa as dimitri, marius as anya luke as dimitri You Get The Idea. i don't actually have a snippet for this one bc its mostly just plots and plans in a gdoc But i will write it one day when i decide who to write as who

nxx unsolved : supernatural

The team go ghosthunting basically. marius signs them up to go explore a supposedly haunted building in stellis after someone asks and he does it under the guise of Teamwork and Team Bonding. its mostly a disaster

"This is a terrible idea," Vyn had stood up to fix himself a cup of tea almost immediately as Marius started speaking, though the whole team knew if he could get something stronger he would.

Marius pointedly ignored him. "We could be like the guys from Scooby Doo! I will be Fred and Miss can be Velma since she's the smartest out of all of us."

"Luke has eaten dog food before so he can be Scooby," Robin pitched in from where she was sitting, sending a bright grin over in Luke's direction.

"Fuck you! I swore you to secrecy!" The dog food eater threw the pillow he was holding at Robin and it was quickly tossed back.

Robin kept her smile, "all's fair in love and war. And I want Artem to be Daphne!"

"Why should Artem be Daphne? They're nothing alike?"

"He's the prettiest out of us all and don't argue, 'cause you know I'm right, Luke!"

backstreets back ALRIGHT DUN DUN DUNDUN

band/idol au thing. i was listening to nysnc and then i sat up and was like Wait A Second and thats how this idea was born. poor rosa is going through it as she deals with their bullshit. havent written much for this one atm but

Robin got the email yesterday that she was getting transferred into group management.

She was being assigned to a newly established boy band named NXX and was now the group manager. Robin couldn't believe her eyes, she was a goddamned PR manager????? Who in their right mind got her to do this??

Sure, she'd done something similar in her first year with TE. Her first job with the company was working with their most successful girl group, JAEI, but she wasn't the group manager???? She was the one who managed their social media and scheduled interviews! That's nothing compared to actually managing a group?? How would she be able to manage this?

Robin needed coffee, and Celestine, and more coffee.

Dead in 3 years?? OR NOT

Right. this one Luke is Dead and is now a ghost who goes around haunting fancy places for fun. he ends up haunting marius' new home which is very fancy and he ends up befriending a ghost luke. again i have no snippet for this one bc. I have not written anything yet but it is an idea that i will eventually write!!!

hey god can you take this guy away

yk the river styx? charon the ferryman who takes over the dead people? Yeah that is luke pearce and marius, a very not dead person arrives asking to go to the underworld

Long boat rides offer a lot of time for thinking, but Luke was really all thinking out. He had been here for who knows how many years and no longer had much to think about, lest he wanted to question his very existence for the 8th time that week.

He has to admit though. This shit is so, so lonely. The lost dead people don't really talk to him and are too nervous about their journey to the Underworld to actually speak so they aren't any fun. You get sick of morbidly enjoying people's stress after a short while, he might be a courier of souls but he isn't a monster!

Which is why, on his next journey over the river, as he was letting people onto his boat and accepting their kinda gross coins from their mouth, Luke was pleasantly surprised to see a definitely not dead guy.

Vyn Richter Loses It

story is in the title tbh. vyn is tired he has had A Bad Week and just wants to get this nxx meeting over with and go home but then the blender blows up and there is a strange mixture everywhere (help Him)

He has zero patience for the members of the NXX team today (excluding Robin, of course). His lacking patience rears it head once again when he walks into headquarter and finds-

Well, it looks like a fucking bomb went off.

Keep in mind, Vyn owns the building that houses their headquarters. He paid for it and while he isn't lacking in money, it was still expensive, it's in the Victorian District for God's sake stuff there isn't exactly cheap.

So, pardon his reaction to finding the entire room covered in something white that quite frankly makes Vyn very nervous. Oh, and really annoyed. Not to mention the blasting of a K-Pop song he recognises since it was both Neil and Giann's favourite song for a while. (For about 5 months straight it was the only song allowed to be played in headquarters and in their modes of transport (it drove Vyn absolutely mad)). The song isn't helping with anything.

There is a distinct odour of vanilla and egg which is quite possibly the worst combination of things he's ever smelt. He covers his nose and closes his eyes in a desperate attempt to keep his growing temper in check and prepare himself for whatever he'll find in there.

RED ALERT VYN RICHTER IS HOT

this is just rosa thinking abt how hot all her team is and also realising that Vyn may be the hottest out them all and needing to go sit and think. this is mildly fanservice-y but its okay

Robin knew she worked with insanely attractive men. She knew it, she relished in it, she embraced it.

However since she is around attractive men so much, she tends to forget just how hot they are sometimes. At random points it hits her, like when Artem stretched his arms above his head and she just stared. And he had a tight shirt on. And she could see everything. (She excused herself and sat on the bathroom floor in headquarters for about 15 minutes, rethinking everything.)

She frequently had these random experiences and she usually handled them quite well. It came with a lot of self reflection and crying at just how lucky she was to be with such works of art regularly.

those r my drafts. my wips. can u tell i like marluke just a Bit

will i ever finish these? Who knows bc i certainly do not i am a busy person but i love them all so maybe one day u will see them on my ao3

#my silly little drafts #wip tag game #tears of themis #are they horrible ideas? perhaps but i like them and i hope u do too #:]!!!!!!!

[rowavolo]

forewarning, there’s no real point to this ask, i’m just complaining, but it’s RIDICULOUS OKAY

so i’m trying to cement a hierarchy/general layout of the celestial realm in my head so i can write a fic, which is genuinely fun and all except it very clearly follows the surface level “archangels are VERY POWERFUL!!!” perspective and not the biblically canonical “archangels are actually the second lowest rank, with seraphim being at the top.” this is evident by having raphael, a seraph (who, notably, in biblical canon isn’t even a seraph!!!!) work under michael, an archangel. they’re not even in the same choir! what is this!!! they didn’t even do the most basic of research—luke and michael are said to have “a wide gap” between rank, which??? he’s barely one level lower?? and michael is the leader of the legions of angels?? an ARCHANGEL?? solmare. solmare look at me. solmare i’m begging you to make sense for once in your life please i can’t handle this-

— blue(, who’s honestly expecting too much from the same writers who wrote ch16 and then never touched the topic again)

ok no i agree with you a million percent it genuinely is ridiculous!

i had a lot of issues with trying to figure it all out in my head so i ended up sort of whipping up my own hierarchy to combat that. I dont really play the games anymore so canon is nothing to me. its beans. nilch. nada. solmare could come out of the woodwork and be like "no it goes EXACTLY like this" and i would simply look away. (notably also i know nothing about bible canon so sorry in advance)

ANYWAYS part of my headcanon is that the whole 'named ranks' thing is like.. more of a job ranking than anything else. Archangels aren't generally that strong, theyre more like... theyre better at manipulating and leading other angels (which can be like herding cats at the best of times, especially due to the way angels divide themselves into their 'flocks' (though 'choir' would also be such a cute name for it) which is a little like found families on a surface level.

And i believe at one point simeon mentioned wanting to be like.. an archangel or something, which leads me to believe that its potentially a title you could earn. I imagine seraphs help raise the younger angels, which is obviously an extraordinarily important job but due to the fact that angels have such long lifespans its often looked over for the whole 'archangels lead and command armies' thing.

outside of these job titles, i also imagine theres like.. sort of an inborn hierarchy in the celestial realm. I categorise it by blood colours (which are based off of various precious metals). To put it simply, the angels live in a big tower. they can travel freely between the levels but the one they were hatched in defines their initial blood colour, which ties into their inherent strengths and affinities for things. This is where i think the main difference between luke and michael would come through.

this may make next to no sense (and im sorry in advance if so) but honestly you dont have to conform to canon in the slightest . you can just make your own stuff up. too many writers in solmare's kitchen leads to lots of details being dropped, or important stuff being hidden behind what are basically paywalled cards and events. i love seeing other people's interpretations of the devildom and the celestial realm it delights me <3

#asks #general barks #general howls #lore #headcanons

[thedeathdeelers]

The time Luke handed Julie the rest of his soul [2/2]

He smacks Reggie lightly on the arm with his journal, rolling his eyes good-naturedly once he’s facing Julie.

He walks towards her without pausing, Sunset Curve’s repertoire in hand already reaching towards her. If he had taken a minute to process this moment, Luke would have realised that this was the first time he was freely handing over his journal to someone who wasn’t Reggie, Alex or Bobby.

But he wasn’t processing - he was too excited to share his music, a larger piece of him, with Julie again. The first time was electric - just thinking about the potential of more performances like that send him teetering over the edge.

“I dog-eared the ones that I think you would slay,” he tells her, easily handing over one of the most important items he owns.

Luke watches Julie as she opens his journal in her hands, flicking through the pages with an excited smile on her lips. And although he is definitely a lot less nervous this time ‘round about sharing his music with her, he can still admit to himself that he is a tiny bit anxious. Will she still like him now that she has more parts of him to piece together?

He leans against her keyboard for a few seconds, before his nerves get the better of him, retracting said hand to fiddle with his guitar strap before gripping it to stop himself from fidgeting.

He hopes she’ll still like his music, that she’ll still like him.

#jatp #julie and the phantoms #julie molina #luke patterson #julie x luke #juke #jatpdaily #jatpedit #jatpcentral #thedeathdeelers gifs #my gifs #cool well. #ta-da #he's way more excited here to show her from the get go than with bright where he was still a tiny bit apprehensive #but! once he hands her the journal you can see he starts to fidget the minute she starts flipping through the pages #basically looking through the different parts of luke that make up the whole #and yknow. he's nervous. he wants her approval and he wants her to like him because he respects the hell outta her and also yknow #SOULMATES

[honeyabyss]

Different ways to say I Love You (minus Luke)

Lucifer:

Lucifer isn't the best at saying what he actually feels due to his pride getting in the way, but he makes it up with small gestures

he is very observant and often knows what you need before you know it

putting on the fireplace in his study when he notices you start to rub your hands or shift your legs to warm them subconsciously

refilling your cup/glass while he pours something himself

"You should have dressed better, I can see you're shivering..."

his snarky side comments might sound like he's annoyed, but he actually cares and worries

he will most definitely put his cloak around your shoulders and keep you close to him with a hand on your waist

he's conflicted between staying subtle and showing you off all the time

"Aren't they looking amazing today? Haven't you stared enough yet? You're making them uncomfortable!"

when you're in private he becomes more open and affectionate, but still tries to play it down

him moving with his work away from his work desk to the small coffee table, sitting side by side with you, just to have you close

when he's feeling stressed he tends to intertwine his fingers with yours, seeking the comfort and familiarity of you

Lucifer tries to give you the same he feels when he is with you comfort, peace, a place to hide from the rest of the world

"You are my save haven! I don't always have to be at my best when I'm with you!"

Mammon:

"Hey! Look what I've brought you home. Ain't I the best?!"

small gifts are a regular occurrence with the Avatar of Greed, which don't always have to be the most expensive, extraordinary or thoughtful ones

"I was on the way home when I saw this and thought of you...you needed this right?"

it could have been the most ridiculous thing like a single paperclip, but he'd be so proud to have noticed and remembered you were having troubles organizing your papers yesterday

him being a tsundere makes it hard for him to openly admit or show his love for you sometimes, his thoughts are full of you and he is constantly complementing you and how much he wants to hold you in his arms or kiss...but actually vocalizing or holding and kissing you seems to be way harder

though that doesn't hold him off to keep you close and hold hands in front of others, you're his human and everyone shall know, you're his and his alone, they'd be mad to try and steal you away

as his sin is Greed, hoarding stuff happens often, most of the times he sells them to be able to get money, but every single thing you'll give him will hold a special meaning in his heart, will show off your gifts to brag

but material love isn't the only thing he can give, he'll also gladly give you all his time

he'll randomly invite you to go take a drive with him, just get in the car and go, no set destination, just Mammon and you away from his brothers and all the others

when you're alone he'd still be nervous, but cuddling will happen a lot, though he is always blushing a bright red

"If I could choose to have one treasure in my whole life, I'd choose to only treasure you!"

Leviathan:

being the Avatar of Envy, he is quick to loose his temper when you're talking or even dare touch other people, he'd be rather alone with you, but that doesn't always work, so being open and mindful about his sin is a must

"Soo what did you two talk about? Not that I mind...but you can also talk about everything with me, you know that right?"

he knows that his social skills aren't the best and that he doesn't know about to many normie topics, but he'll try his best to listen to you and come up with responses and ways to keep the conversation going

he wants to make sure you know he loves you so badly, but all he knows about love is from animes or games, so he often tries to recreate romantic scenes only to get thoroughly embarrassed

"d-d-don't laugh! This i-i supposed to be ro-romantic...."

he tries to keep you close to him as much as he can when you're outside

he knows how anxiety inducing it can be for him, when someone suddenly touches him, so he always asks you first, as embarrassing it is to ask you to hold hands or kiss, he feels better knowing you want this too

when he is playing his games, he dislikes it when you disappear out of his vision, wanting to make sure you're still there and letting you know he hasn't forgotten about you even though he is currently concentration on his gaming, he'll keep you in his lap with a furious blush on his cheeks and he might see the game over screen more often but it's definitely worth it

"You make me overcome my weaknesses, just give me time and I'll make you happy!

Satan:

"The weather is nice...do you want to take a walk with me?"

Satan enjoys spending his time with you in any way possible, a simple walk, reading sessions, visiting your favourite places, discovering new cafés, exploring galleries and museums, as long as you're around he is open to try anything

lazing around in his room cuddled up next to you with a good book will stays his favourite though, he has you for himself and it feels reassuring to know you stay with him even on the normal and eventless days

Satan isn't too handsy, but he does keep your hand in his wherever the two of you are, even if you only making your way to the kitchen, he is not exactly jealous just happy to call you his and show it

the subtle intimacy of handholding speaks volumes to him, to others it may seem like the most ordinary couple thing, but he likes to experiment and if his stupid idea of only holding 2 fingers makes you laugh then it was a full success to him

no matter how much control over his sin he has sometimes he breaks too, after getting out all his anger, he tends to be exhausted and feels vulnerable, he'll just sit down with your hands intertwined and his head resting on your shoulder, seeking comfort and affection

"Have you smiled yet? I smile every time I think of you!"

Satan will leave small notes to make your day or send you messages on your DDD when he can't be around you

"Did I ever tell you that you feel like home to me? I hope I can be your home as well!"

Asmodeus:

so many praises and compliments, like you can just sit there looking at your phone and Asmo just coos

"You look sooo pretty!~ let's take a picture together to remember this moment!"

he will take a lot of pictures of you and him, just to look at for himself when he misses you, to show off to his brothers and Solomon, or to the whole Devildom through posting it on Devilgram

he simply enjoys to look at you, though it always ends in a warm hug , kisses and praises

he may not be very poetic or thoughtful with his touches, but he always gives it his all, some feelings he just can't describe in words so he just holds you close to show you his feelings

spa days, shopping tours and going into the club happen often, though he understands if you're not up to it some times, but he will whine and demand to spend you day differently with him

he can't help it he wants to spoil you and show you off, he's is almost never jealous, rather proud even when someone flirts with you, that doesn't mean he'll give you away

"Come here, let me just hold you. You fit perfectly into my arms..."

as the Avatar of Lust, physical touch means a lot to him, not only in the sexual way, but most in importantly in the way of craving affection, he wants to be hold and to hold you, give him all your attention and he'll be happy

"Thank you for staying and accepting me!"

Beelzebub:

sleepily walking through the hallways into the kitchen to keep Beel company while he has his midnight snack and just sitting next to him talking about your day

"Thank you for staying awake with me, do you want me to get you food as well?"

with Gluttony as his sin, food is big part of his daily life, but he doesn't just eat to satisfy his hunger, but also because he enjoys the food, no matter how hungry he is, he'll offer you even the last piece to make you happy

sharing new food and old favourites of his alike, Beel likes to share his food with you, as he feels less hungry in your company anyway

seeing you happy and full makes him happy and full as well, so he puts you first most of the times, letting you choose what you want and going along with your preferences

"Anything is fine with me, you can choose for us."

Beel is also very active, playing Fangol, training and etc, he often invites you to train with him or tries to teach you new stuff, if you don't want too that's fine as well, you can watch and he may try to impress you a little bit, but he won't train much when you're around wanting to rather spend time with you

bear hugs. just you walking basically anywhere and Beel suddenly hugs you tight against his chest, nuzzling your face and having a huge grin plastered on his face

his affectionate hugs and kisses come out of nothing, surprising but welcome, some times he forgets his strength and you'll have to remind him, he'll hold you very carefully then asking if this okay

"I feel complete with you, so just stay by my side!"

Belphegor:

"Lay down with me, I nap better with you at my side!"

obviously nap time with lots of cuddling, he just drapes himself over you, holding you close and sharing his warmth with you...if you're lucky you'll even get a small goodnight kiss, but only if he's in the mood

Belphie is a bit too straightforward with his words and sometimes ends up being a bit mean when he doesn't really want to, so in crucial moments with you he tends to become quiet and seek out to hold and hopefully show you his feelings

Belphie isn't handsy but he loves to cuddle, he may not always hold your hand when taking a walk but as soon as you two sit down he'll hug you close without saying a word

when he finds you sleeping somewhere without him, he is a bit hurt at first but he recovers quick, he'll make sure you're resting comfortably, the pillow is soft enough and that the blanket keeps you warm, even going to the length to bring you his own blanket if fell asleep anywhere but you're room, without a doubt he'll feel tired after taking care of you and will fall asleep right next to you

"Sleeping without me...unbelievable...I'll just have to squish myself next to you then.."

his other passion stargazing always ends up with him hugging you and telling you about the different constellations and it's stories until you fall asleep...only when he is sure you're dreaming he dares to run his fingers through you hair and lowly hum a lullaby into the otherwise silent night

"Let's dream our life together and promise to make it true one day!"

Diavolo:

as the prince of Hell, Diavolo only ever knew people who treated him with respect, always leaving him to feel lonely and out of place, but then you came and you weren't scared neither did you treat him like a prince, you made him your friend and soon more

with you he feels finally complete and he tries to show you his appreciation and affection any free moment of his time

he'd buy you anything you want not caring about the price, but please tell him that a small and thoughtful gift makes you just as happy as anything else

being with you always has him giddy and bursting with love, he can't hold back and will shower you in attention or at least watch you do your thing

"You're looking radiant my love! I can't believe you're mine!"

similar to Beel he has these affection attacks where he'll just suddenly have the urge to hug you and shower you in kisses

being prince requires a lot of paper work, which he dislikes, when you're around he'll indulge himself in a few more breaks than he should, ending in him having to work overtime much to his dismay

"Will you stay up waiting for me at home?"

He knows it's a selfish thought, but he loves the feeling of coming home to you and getting greeted, he feels at peace when you're there and wait for him

"I'll never have to feel lonely again, when I have you!"

Barbatos:

as a butler time isn't something he has much of, so he some times feels like he can't give you enough, he'll try to meet as often as possible but often it's only for an hour or so a day

"Do you need anything else? More tea? Anything?"

He'll probably be stuck in his butler role and try to serve, completely disregarding himself, just grab him and make him sit down

Barb isn't used to physical touch and feels less comfortable to hold you in public, handholding is the maximum for him, he probably needs some time to get used to the more affectionate things

but when in private gentle touches, soft hugs and small kisses are his thing, just small reassuring stuff while you two relax and talk about daily life

he is more of a listener and he enjoys listening to your voice, it's one of his comfort things, hearing your voice means you're safe and that helps him keep calm a lot...he may not show it, but on the inside he is always worried for you living in between demons, he's on of them he knows how dangerous it can get

phone calls while he works happen more and more often as your relationship progresses, the need to see you gets stronger, but he can't just leave work, so you'll talk over the phone

"I missed you so I had to call. How is your day?"

night-time is his favourite, no work, no on watchers, just you two and your love for each other, if only it could be always like this

"One minute with you feels like eternal bliss, imagine our happiness if you'd stay with me forever!"

Solomon:

Solomon has watched many people die in his life, so he got used to not getting attached too much, falling in love with you wasn't planned, but he can't help feeling clingy with you now

he'd play it down, aloof as he always seems, but on the inside he is screaming at you to not go at the end of the day, just one more hug, one more kiss, maybe stay over the night?

he'd never say it out loud and every time he does say something affectionate something teasing or a 'just kidding' follows, scared he might seem too clingy

"You're my everything, without you I feel like I'm suffocating...just a joke I'm breathing fine, see?"

he's always touching you in some way, holding your hand, arm around your shoulder, his hand on your waist, back or knee, whatever he just wants to feel the warmth of your skin telling him you're still there

he has lived through so many human lifetimes and experienced so much, he's happy to share all the good stuff with you and show you the most wondersome places in all three realms

the bad stuff though he keeps to himself, guides you away and hopes you'll never experience it

"Hey! Surprise I was close by and I thought we could take a walk?"

Solomon loves spending his time with you in whatever way, just whisk him away to whatever activity you'd like, surprise dates are his favourite, he doesn't want to plan out his whole life

"Now is my favourite moment with you. Why? Because I'm with you!"

Simeon:

Simeon as an author has his way with words, being able to spin them just right so every moment will become perfect, but he's more used to writing than talking and he'll use that to his advantage

"Even in the darkest of nights, your beauty lightens the room!"

expect love letter, sweet notes and poems written by him, hidden your schoolwork, waiting for you on your desk in RAD, on your pillow at HoL, anywhere he can sneak them to he will

and trust me he'll get so happy when he finds out you kept every single one of his writings

he also loves cuddles but only in private, in public he'll restrain himself to simple handholding or guiding you through the streets with your arms linked together

he enjoys to spoil you with attention, doing whatever you want, often it leads to cooking where as Luke likes to join in too, long walks, reading sessions, late night movies and cuddles, or even just long conversations about everything and anything you two can think of

"My lamb, may you come over and help a poor author who has lost his inspiration to write?"

when he is stuck with his writings he likes to take a break with you and hold you tight in his arms listening to your suggestions until he feels inspired again, no pressure though he can keep writing any time he doesn't have to come up with something on the spot, just distracting him for a bit works too

"I may have found paradise in your arms tonight, do you think your heart may be so kind to let me stay?"

#obey me swd #obey me shall we date #obey me headcanons #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #swd obey me #obey me #obey me beelzebub #obey me asmodeus #obey me belphegor #obey me diavolo #obey me barbatos #obey me solomon #obey me simeon