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najia-cooks · 7 months

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[ID: A greyish brown stew presented alongside flatbread, red pepper paste, green peppers, and carrot sticks. End ID]

سماقية / Summagiyya (Gazan stew with chard, chickpea, sumac, and 'lamb')

Summagiyya (سُمَّاقِيَّة; also translitered "sumagiyya", "sumaghiyyeh" or "sumaqiyya") is one of the signature dishes of the Gaza strip, in particular Gaza City. It consists of lamb, chard, and chickpeas in a sumac-infused broth; savor and zest is added by a dagga of dill seeds, garlic, and peppers, and nutty depth by a generous drizzle of red tahina. The resulting stew is thick, earthy, and slodgily grey (due to the green chard and red sumac)—it also has the characteristic sourness of much Gazan cuisine.

Summagiyya is most often prepared during holidays, especially Eid al-Fitr; it's an excellent make-ahead dish for these occasions, since it's even better once its flavors have had time to meld and mellow overnight. It is served cold alongside fresh vegetables, and eaten by using flatbread to scoop up each bite. This recipe provides a spiced seitan recipe to replace the lamb, but you may also use any lamb or beef substitute of your choice.

Today, summagiyya is often prepared with Israeli white tahina, as decades of punitive import laws, taxes, and restrictions have enforced Palestine's status as a consumer, rather than an producer, of food products. Israeli tariffs on, and confiscations of, Palestinian goods have forced those tahina factories that survived to import sesame seeds rather than using locally grown crops, even as they export the best of their product to Israel. The dubbing of foods such as tahina and hummus as culturally "Israeli" cuisine works to hide this exploitative relationship, and cement an Israeli national identity through the subsuming and erasure of Palestinian existence. It is for this reason that Emad Moussa writes that Palestinian cuisine has a role in "protecting against a people's very extinction."

Medical Aid for Palestinians (MAP) has put out an urgent call for donations to provide medical supplies to Palestinian hospitals when supply lines reopen. Also contact your representatives in the USA, UK, and Canada.

Ingredients:

For the soup:

500g (2 large bunches) chard (شلق), diced

80g Levantine sumac berries (Rhus coriaria)

1/2 cup soaked and boiled chickpeas, mostly cooked (40g dry / scant 1/4 cup)

1/4 cup red tahina

1/2 cup (60g) all-purpose flour

1 large yellow onion

1/4 cup olive oil

1 tsp kosher salt

2 cardamom pods (optional)

2 allspice berries (optional)

More olive oil, to fry

Sumac berries can be found in the spice section of a halal grocery store. If you're unable to locate whole berries, pre-ground will do.

For the dagga:

1 1/2 Tbsp dill seeds

5 cloves garlic

1/2 green cubanelle pepper

2-3 dried red chilis (optional)

1/2 tsp black pepper

1/4 tsp cumin

Dill seeds may be found at a halal, south Asian, or speciality European grocery store. They are commonly used in Indian food and as a pickling spice. At a south Asian grocery store they may be labelled soyo, suva, shepu, or savaa.

For the lamb:

1 cup (120g) vital wheat gluten, aka gluten flour

1/2 Tbsp ground sumac

1/2 tsp ground caraway

1 tsp onion powder

1 tsp Palestinian 7-spice

1/2 tsp garlic powder

1/2 tsp sea salt

1/2 tsp ground black pepper

1/2 tsp ground cumin

1/2 tsp ground aniseed

1/2 tsp turnermic

1 tbsp olive oil

1/2 tsp soy sauce

1 tsp miso paste

2 cloves garlic, grated

2 tsp pomegranate molasses

1 Tbsp white or red tahina

About 1/2 cup vegetarian 'beef' stock from concentrate, or vegetable stock

Pomegranate molasses is simply pomegranate juice that has been reduced to a thick consistency. It may be found in the sauces section of a halal grocery store.

Instructions:

For the soup:

1. Soak dried chickpeas in cool water overnight, or in just-boiled water for an hour. Drain and re-cover with water, and boil for 30-45 minutes, until almost fully cooked. Drain and set aside.

2. Simmer sumac seeds in enough water to cover by a couple inches for about an hour, until the water is dark red. Blend the seeds and water together, then strain the mixture through a cheesecloth.

If you're using ground sumac, skip the blending step. Use a cheesecloth or very fine metal sieve (such as one intended for brewing tea) to remove the ground spice from the water.

3. Whisk the flour into the sumac-infused water.

For the lamb:

1. Combine all dry ingredients in a large mixing bowl. Add wet ingredients other than stock and stir briefly. Add enough stock to produce a soft, smooth dough.

2. Knead by hand on a clean surface, or put in a stand mixer with paddle attachment on medium-low, for about 5 minutes. You should see stringy strands begin to form in the dough.

3. Allow to rest, covered, for 5-10 minutes to encourage gluten formation. Knead for another 3 minutes. Do not over-knead.

4. Tear the dough into bite-sized pieces.

Stringy seitan being pulled apart into pieces.

You may also shape the dough into a slab and cube it with a sharp knife—the lamb or beef used in summagiyya is usually cubed—but I prefer the texture of torn seitan to sliced.

5. Steam the seitan pieces for 10 minutes in a bamboo steamer or using a metal steamer basket. Place the bamboo steamer in the bottom of a wok and cover its base by about 1/2" (1 cm), then raise the heat to boil the water; lower the heat to keep the water at a simmer. If using a steamer basket, place it over the opening of a pot containing a couple inches of water and bring it to a simmer. Start the timer when the water begins simmering.

6. Heat olive oil on medium-high and sear the steamed seitan pieces, turning as necessary, until deeply browned on all sides. Set aside.

Fried seitan pieces.

You can save a step here by searing the raw seitan, then returning it to the pot after you've fried the onions to simmer it rather than steaming. I found that this produced a mushier texture.

For the dagga (دقة):

1. Grind cumin and black pepper thoroughly in a mortar and pestle, then add dried red pepper and dill seed and crush coarsely. Add green sweet pepper and garlic and pound until a coarse mixture forms.

Dill seeds, green sweet pepper, garlic, and dried red chili on a cutting board, alongside dagga in a large granite mortar.

You may also use a spice mill or food processor.

To assemble:

1. Chop the onion. Wash the chard and slice it thinly in one direction; turn it ninety degrees and slice thinly again.

Diced chard, fried seitan, dagga, and sumac-infused water with flour.

2. In a large pot, heat a couple tablespoons of olive oil on medium. Fry chopped onion, cardamom pods, and allspice berries for a minute until fragrant. Add half of the dagga and fry until fragrant.

3. Add chard and fry, mixing often, until wilted.

Wilted chard in a wok.

4. Add sumac mixture, chickpeas, and water to cover. Bring to a boil, then lower heat to a simmer. If you didn't steam your seitan earlier, add it now.

5. Continue to stir and simmer until the stew is thick, homogenous, and greyish-brown, about 15 minutes.

Simmered stew.

6. Add the remainder of the garlic mixture, the red tahina, a pinch of ground cumin, the 1/4 cup olive oil, and salt to taste. Return the steamed and seared seitan to the pot and mix.

Serve cool with flatbread, sweet green peppers, bitter green and black olives, carrots, leafy greens, and/or pickles.

#vegetarian recipes #vegan recipe #vegan cooking #Palestinian #Gazan #chickpeas #lamb #seitan #chard #dill seeds #pomegranate molasses

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nolita-fairytale · 11 months

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Carmy as Your Baby Daddy | Social Media AU & Headcanon Series | part six

part five | masterlist | part seven

your third trimester & meeting baby bear

your third trimester fatigue really starts to set it, rendering a slow-down on you and carmy's sex-a-palooza (era coined & named by @starbritestarlite). the less-than-desirable symptoms come back: extreme fatigue, smell/food sensitivities, and your back and feet are almost always tired/sore.

sugar insists on throwing you a baby shower, and you let her because you know how happy it makes her. you can't believe she actually wants to throw (and host) the party, even though she has a fourteen-month old, but like she said, she insists. sydney offers to cater it and with that addition, you and sugar are both game.

it's there at the baby shower that sugar finds she's pregnant AGAIN and sydney cannot fathom what she must've done in a past life to deserve two pregnant best friends who can't even drink.

sugar gets pastries from your favorite bakeries around the city: marcus' croissants, mochi donuts decorated like baby bears, cupcakes, while sydney takes care of the rest of the food. it's the sweetest thing and carmy is grateful yet a little overwhelmed by the huge celebration that sugar has orchestrated because you swear she's invited everyone you and carmy have ever known.

most sundays when you host brunch at your place, you whip up a great brunch spread and fantastic playlist, and after all of your guest are done, you and carmy spend the afternoon napping, making out, and dreaming up the rest of your life together.

i'd just like to reiterate the pregnant people in overalls concept because i did in fact go to a ceramic sale and see so many pregnant people in overalls. it's a thing. it's a vibe. i'm not sorry. just picture it: you, pregnant in overalls, painting the second bedroom and turning it into a nursery. you and carmy tag team this huge diy project. while you paint, carmy can't stop checking in: "are you sure you're supposed to be around these paint fumes? you feeling okay? you want to sit down, sweetheart? how's baby bear?" and it's so endearing that he's worried but you're having fun doing this with him and you'd really like for him to stop worrying for a second.

shopping. for. baby. clothes. one day you come home from the office with a tiny little denim baby jacket. "i know baby bear won't be able to wear it for a while but..." and carmy is just in tears.

baby bear pajamas. baby bear bed sheets. baby bear wall decals. baby bear everything.

one day when carmy has a night off, he's made dinner for you by the time you get home from the office. while you insist on doing the dishes, he cuddles up with you on the couch later that night. without warning, he begins giving you a foot massage, and it's the best one you've ever gotten. "baby, if you ever decide to change careers, you might have a future in massage." he blushes, reluctant to tell you, but inevitably shares that pete took him to a prenatal massage class. you are speechless. "i'm sorry. you went to a prenatal massage class with pete?! better not let richie find out." but all of your teasing falls by the wayside as you more than happily accept his foot and back rubs night after night.

on top of talking to baby bear, you and carmy begin reading to baby bear. you buy baby bear a few children's books to start and while you prefer to read them to baby bear, carmy has another idea. one afternoon when you fall asleep, he begins reading (and commenting) on a few cookbooks he's owned for most of his career. things like: "hmmm that seems like a little too much salt." and "2 oz of carrots, shredded, then pickled with-. would you pair carrots with jicama for an escabeche, baby bear?" some days you pretend you're still sleeping just to hear him do it because it truly is the most precious thing you've ever heard in your life.

carmy is terrified that he'll be a bad dad, considering his dad left and his mom is... his mom and freaks out one day. in an effort to calm him down, you finally admit that you've been listening to him read to baby bear when you fall asleep. "a man that a works on a recipe with his unborn kid... that's dad material if i've ever seen it." while he still has his worries and anxieties, it makes him feel loads better when you remind him that more than anything, you believe in him.

when you go into labor, carmy drops everything to get to the hospital as soon as possible. while not planned or preferred, you end up having to have a c-section with baby bear. it's the strangest experience (did you know they literally have to take your organs out to get to the baby?!?!?!) and it's not what you pictured, but the minute you hear baby bear cry, it doesn't matter. it is emotional: army is crying and you're crying and baby bear is crying, and you both know your lives have just changed forever.

"welcome to the world, josephine antonia berzatto," you whisper as you hold your baby girl in your arms for the very first time.

a/n: my heart exploded writing that last part. rip to me.

in a wild turn of events, i WILL be writing a 'your life with baby bear' headcanon for this series NEXT, and then eventually a 'carmy as a dad/you and carmy as parents' headcanon.

i forgot to add... i just want to say that @carmensberzattos did in fact call it, insisting that baby bear be called antonia. which is insane considering in season 2 we learned that carmy's middle name is anthony. and that's on being psychic. name was edited bc it flowed better this way!!

#carmen berzatto x you #carmy berzatto #carmy x oc #the bear hulu #the bear fx #jeremy allen white #carmen 'carmy' berzatto #carmy berzatto x reader #carmen berzatto x reader #carmen berzatto #carmy berzatto headcanon #the bear headcanon #carmy berzatto imagines #carmy berzatto fluff #comfort and chaos #still into you #make my heart surrender #Carmy as your baby daddy #social media au

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projectcaramel · 1 year

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Random Headcanon #2

There's a little interaction difference between you and the brothers and the brothers and their kids.

How he responds to his kid

How he responds to you

---

Lucifer

“Please pass the salt, Dad.”

“Certainly.” And Lucifer hands over the salt to your son/daughter. No fuss.

---

“Please pass the salt, Lucifer.”

“Why don’t you beg me for it?” That damn cocky smirk of his. Evidently, he’s in a mood again.

“...Lucifer, behave yourself.”

Mammon

“Pass the salt, Papa?”

“How much does it mean to ya?” He’s joking with a playful glint in his eyes, but he’s teaching your kid some weird quirks.

“Mammon...” you groan, and he laughs as he passes it over.

---

“Pass the salt, Mammon.”

“Here ya go.” Job done.

Levi

“Wouldst thou passeth the wondrous elixir of life, Father of mine?”

Leviathan groans while passing over the hot sauce.

“Why did I let him/her play Shakespeare’s Conquest...?

---

“Wouldst thou passeth the wondrous elixir of life, Oh Gracious Lord of Shadow?”

Leviathan covers his red face in his arm while you giggle.

“Stop making fun of me, MC! Now I won’t pass anything over!”

Satan

“Can you pass the pepper, Father?”

“I’m capable of passing the pepper, yes.” The idiot is smirking without looking up, and your child is on the edge of throwing a temper tantrum.

“Satan,” you growl warningly, and he hands it over.

“The best way to ask is ‘please pass the pepper, Father.’ by the way.”

---

“Can you give me the pepper, Satan?”

“MC, we’ve been over this a hundred times.”

“Can you give me the pepper, Satan?”

“No, I can’t give you the pepper.”

“Can you give me the pepper, Satan?”

“...” And that’s how you end up in a long staring contest that Satan eventually loses.

Asmo

“Would the most beautiful Papi in world grant the cutest son/daughter the frosting~?

You give Asmo a very long look as he, humming, gives your kid the spoon full of extra cupcake frosting.

“What~? Do you want some frosting too~?”

---

“Asmo, be a dear and pass the frosting,” You say, while he’s in the process of picking it up for himself. “You can enjoy it if you wan—”

“You know I could never say no to you, sweetie pie~ Here.” And then he’s taking a picture and posting it to Devilgram with a such a happy smile that you wonder if you should feel bad.

Beel

“Pops, can I have that?” She/He points to the burger on Beel’s plate.

“Yeah,” is his reply as he happily hands over the entire, completely loaded, triple-decker cheeseburger to a five year-old.

“Are you sure you can eat all th—” It’s already gone, and Beel is happily laughing.

---

“Beel, mind if I eat your pickle?” You point at the spear, and Beel shakes his head.

“Nah. All yours, MC. Can I have your toad eyes?”

And so the great food exchange begins.

Belphie

“Pa.”

“Mn... yeah? Sure.”

You’re left confused as you look between father and son/daughter as Belphie passes the wasabi to the other side of the table.

“Belphie, he/she’s supposed to ask you...”

“That’s a pain.” Guess you’re outnumbered, since they both spoke at the same time.

---

“Belphie, pass the—” He almost smacks you with the wasabi as he sleepily brings his chopsticks over to you. “How did you...?”

“You’re not hard to read.”

“Is that a compliment or...?”

#obey me!#writing #obey me lucifer #obey me headcanons #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus!#obey me beel #obey me belphie #parenting

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tiredwitchplant · 8 months

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How to Use Herbs : Rosemary

Hwello there. We have talked about rosemary and its uses in a previous post. If you haven't read it, please click here: Rosemary

Now I shall provide some spells, tonics, recipes and etc on where you can utilize it. Let us begin :)

Author's Note: From I noticed a part is usually a teaspoon. You can add more according to your needs, but I would always start with that measurement first.

Alchemist Formula for Binding:

One part benzoin gum (Saturn, binding)

One part patchouli (Saturn,binding)

One part Solomon's seal (Saturn, protective)

One part rosemary oil (Saturn, protective)

One part frankincense oil (Sun, success)

Mental Focus Magical Tea:

I part rosemary

1/2 part spearmint

1 cup of boiling water

Mix herbs in a small jar

To brew, pour 1 cup of boiling water over 1 teaspoon of the herbal blend.

Steep for 5 - 7 minute. Strain and drink.

Spells:

Remembrance for Lost Love (Heartache Healer)

6 drops of rosemary oil

3 drops of peppermint oil

1 drop of lavender oil

White candle

Add the oil to the top of the candle, one at a time, in a clockwise direction around the wick.

LIght the candle and gaze into the flame

Visualize your fond memories of the person who left your life. As you do this say, "I thank you for the time we had together, I thank you for the love we shared, I thank you for being an important part of my life. We have parted, we move on, we remember. I wish you the best life has to offer and hope you have found happiness."

Allow the candle to burn out of its own and dispose of the remaining wax away from your home or bury it in the spot you and the past partner enjoyed together.

Broom Cleansing Spell

Use one or any combination of the following botanicals: broom, cedar,fennel, hyssop, rosemary, sage, vervain.

Arrange the botanicals and tie them to the bottom of a branch withraffia, visualizing, charging and knotting. (Any branch may be used,however an ash branch is considered particularly powerful.)

Sprinkle with salted water or any preferred purification formula.

Sweep the area.

Disassemble the broom outside, away from the cleansed space.

Bury the components in the ground or toss them into living waters, flowing away from you.

Ghost Keep Away Spell (Boundary Line Spell)

Place three peeled cloves of garlic in a bowl, together with one handful of sea salt and one handful of fresh rosemary leaves.

Grind and mash the ingredients together.

Sprinkle them to create a boundary, as needed.

Bad Habits Bath

Add the following to a tub filled with warm water:

Essential oil of clary sage

Essential oil of frankincense

Essential oil of lavender

Essential oil of lemongrass or May Chang

Essential oil of rosemary

Enter the bath and inhale the fragrance, and accompany with affirmations and positive visualizations.

Kitchen Witch Recipes:

Super-Quick Bonus Recipe for Gwion’s Red Onion Pickle Bliss

Fills one pint-sized jar

Prep Time: 10 minutes

Cooking Time: 20 minutes, plus 30 minutes to cool in the fridge

1 medium red onion

3 tablespoons sugar

1/2 cup water

10 black peppercorns

2/3 cup white wine vinegar,

rice vinegar, or apple cider vinegar

1/4 teaspoon red pepper flakes

1 sprig rosemary

1 clove garlic, peeled and halved

Slice the onion very thinly and place it in your clean, dry jar. Set it aside.

Add the rest of the ingredients to a medium saucepan and bring to a boil until the sugar has fully dissolved. Stir carefully so you don’t break the rosemary. The sprig is in there to add flavour, and you’ll discard it before the next step.

Let the pickling mixture (the water, vinegar, and spices) cool down for about 10 minutes. Discard the sprig of rosemary and pour the remaining

ingredients into the jar of onions. Make sure all of the onions are submerged

in the picking liquid. If you have to, use a spoon to push the onions down in the jar. Seal the jar and put it in the fridge to cool. The onions are ready to eat once they are cool, about 30 minutes.

Serve them on avocado toast, burgers, salads, or just with a fork straight out of the jar. Remember to kiss your partner or partners before eating the onions out of the jar, unless they’re into pungent kisses.

Goat for a God: Roasted Goat Leg with Grape Molasses

Great for Deities: Dionysus, Pan and Thor

Serves : 6

Prep Time: 30 minutes

Cooking Time: 2 hours and 30 minutes

1 goat leg (about 3 pounds)

1/4 cup + 1 tablespoon olive oil

2 teaspoons salt

1 teaspoon cumin

2 teaspoons black pepper

4 tablespoons grape molasses

2 cloves garlic, minced

1 teaspoon coriander

2 sprigs fresh rosemary

1 cup white wine + one glass for sipping and toasting while cooking (use mead if you're cooking this for Thor)

1 bay leaf

2 large carrots, chopped into

1" chunks

1 celery root, peeled and chopped into 1" cubes

Open the bottle of white wine or mead and take a hefty drink. (This is optional but deities do like when you drink with them but they can respect if you don't partake.)

Preheat the oven to 375° F.

Liberally season the goat leg with salt and pepper.

Rub the minced garlic all over the goat leg too. If it helps, poke a few holes in the goat leg so you can get the garlic right into the meat.

Place the rosemary sprigs and bay leaf in the bottom of a large roasting pan and put the goat leg right on top. Add the carrots and celery root around the edges. Pour the olive oil all over the goat and rub it around. Coat the carrots and celery root too.

Pour the white wine around the bottom of the roasting pan.

Loosely cover with kitchen foil and put the whole pan into the oven for 2 hours.

About an hour and forty-five minutes into the cooking process, it’s time to make the glaze.

Mix the grape molasses—which is a super-condensed syrup made of grape must—in a bowl with a tablespoon of olive oil, the coriander, and the cumin. You can substitute honey for the grape molasses if for Thor.

At the two-hour mark, pull the roasting pan out of the oven and paint the goat with the grape (or honey) and spice glaze.

Pop the goat and veggies, uncovered, back into the oven for another 20 minutes or until the internal temperature reaches at least 145° F.

When you’re ready to serve this dish, scoop the veggies into a bowl (fornow) and put the goat leg on a platter. If you have access to one, get a cedar plank and serve the goat on it.

Medical Tonics and Infusions:

Infusion- An infusion is the simplest way to prepare the more delicate aerial parts of plants, especially leaves and flowers, for use as a medicine or as a revitalizing or relaxing drink. It is made in a similar way to tea, using either a single herb or a combination of herbs, and may be drunk hot or cold.

Pot Infusion

For a cup:

1 tsp (2–3 g) dried or 2 tsp (4–6 g) fresh herb (or mixture of herbs) to a cup of water

For a pot:

20 g dried herb or 30 g fresh herb (or a mixture of different herbs) to 2 cups (500 ml) of water

Warm the pot, then add the herb.

Pour in water that has just boiled, replace the lid, and infuse for 10 minutes.

Strain some of the infusion into a cup. A teaspoon of honey may be added if desired.

Storage:

Store in a covered jug in a refrigerator or cool place for up to 24 hours.

Tonic Making

Standard Quantity:

200 g dried or 300 g fresh herb chopped into small pieces to 1 quart (1 liter) alcohol—vodka of 35–40% alcohol is ideal, although rum hides the taste of bitter or unpalatable herbs

Standard Dosage:

Take 1 tsp (5 ml) 2 –3 times a day diluted in 1 tbsp plus 1 tsp (25 ml) of water or fruit juice.

Place the herb in a large, clean glass jar and pour on the alcohol, ensuring that the herb is covered. Close and label the jar.

Shake well for 1–2 minutes and store in a cool dark place for 10–14 days, shaking the jar every 1–2 days.

Set up the wine press, placing a muslin or nylon mesh bag securely inside. Pour in the mixture and collect the liquid in the jug.

Slowly close the wine press, extracting the remaining liquid from the herbs until no more drips appear. Discard the leftover herbs.

Pour the tincture into clean, dark glass bottles using a funnel. When full, stopper with a cork or screw top and label the bottles.

Storage:

Store in sterilized, dark glass bottles in a cool dark place for up to 2 years. An amber glass jar is the best option.

Sorry this post is so long @_@ But please enjoy and use wisely. Bye byes~

Sources

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blackopals-world · 1 year

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Could I have part 4 for The Way to A Man's Heart series with Riddle, Trey, Cater, Jack, and Kalim?

~Oh boy, this Au is getting bigger and bigger. God help me. Come eat you filthy animals~

"The Way to a Man's Heart" (part 4)

(Part 1) (part 2) (part 3)

Notes:I spent a day on this. It's not proof read.

Riddle

I was confused on what to do for him to first but inspiration struck like lightning. This is way too long so if you like Riddle come get yall food.~

Yuu loved tea parties. She had thrown her fair share in her homeland with different themes and styles. With her talent for cooking and knowledge of many cultures she was booked to host events as a host and caterer just like her mom and dad. It was her pride and joy.

But cooking for her friends seemed to be enough. Until it wasn't.

For the past few days she had begun putting ideas in Riddle's head about hosting her own party.

She needed participants for this specific tea party but the problem was it required people who stuck to the rules. No other dorm could be as complaint as Heartslabyul expect maybe Draconia or Pomefiore but they might be too perfect if that makes sense. In reality Yuu just wanted to see Ace and Deuce suffer.

Riddle of course was very enthusiastic about party and added it to the schedule and making attendance mandatory.

Yuu couldn't help smirking knowing just how strict she was going to be.

The following Saturday Yuu rolled out tatami mats on the Ramshackle lawn. She had planted a few trees with help from Malleus and Leona for the event. Sakura trees that had a spell to keep them in bloom. Everything must be set up perfectly.

The Heartslabyul boys showed up at exactly 11:30 as instructed. Each had to wear traditional hakama.

Riddle had trouble following instructions for once. Yuu had specified that their attire be undecorated or plain. It could be colored but not bright or flashy so no red. When he had asked Yuu about it she made quite the face, one he imagined he had made many times at rule breakers.

"Red, is unacceptable. What? Are you getting married or showing off? It's not permitted to wear that unless your the host or a royal. Even then it's unseemly. This is a formal party Riddle not a informal tea." Yuu sounded unlike her usual soft and endearing self. Every word was deliberate and pointed. She took this seriously.

Riddle felt a bit chastised himself. He found that he wanted to follow her directions to the letter because of just how fervent she was. They had something in common now that she was making the rules and he had to forget his own to follow her's.

The group arrived in muted colors with minimal patterns but very well made. Of course they looked rather out of place in Ace, Cater and Riddle's case due to the ban on red. Cater chose yellow, Ace got orange and Riddle had pink. Trey had olive and Deuce had on navy blue.

Grim answered the door with a red and white rope tied around his neck and a gold bell that rang as he walked. He wasn't happy about the bell but he didn't make the rules.

Speaking of rules Grim was ordered to invite everyone inside. Shoes had to be removed and any unneeded items put away. Grim pointed to the scroll on the wall for everyone to read.

Riddle remembered that the scroll depicts the theme of the party.

He couldn't read the symbol on it. Why did she writing in another language?

Everyone took a seat as Grim rolled out a little cart with cups of tea on it. It was rather adorable as the cat served tea to the best of his ability. Yuu must had taught him. Grim was rather proud of himself as he explained that he chose this tea and made it himself.

Cater took plenty of pictures of the cat acting like a little butler. Grim was made into a meme by the magicam community instantly.

Riddle was very impressed as Grim told the group that the first tea was Sakurayu. A tea made from cherry blossoms pickled in plum vinegar though he chose to fargo salt in the process do to the aftertaste except in Carter's case.

It was a very different to the tea Riddle usually drank but it was very good. The blossoms unfurled in the hot water making a beautiful display. Everyone seemed to enjoy it but Ace and Deuce didn't have a taste for tea.

The group had to wait for Yuu's arrival as she entered wearing a pink kimono with a white obi and haired tied neatly an updo with cherry blossom tasseled hair sticks placed into her hair.

She greeted everything in a formal bow and made sure everyone in turn bowed as well. When Ace messed up and didn't bow properly at the waist a paper fan wacked him on the shoulder.

"Ace, try again." Yuu said with a smile but her eyes where clearly issuing a threat.

Yeah, Yuu and Riddle are alot alike.

Riddle in turn didn't say a word as. She watched her in astonishment.

Yuu instructed everyone to go outside to use the tsukubai to ritually wash their hands and mouths out before entering the tea garden.

Trey believed that every tea should begin like this. Everyone else but Riddle found it tedious.

Soon enough Grim escorted everyone outside to the garden to wait for the ceremony to begin.

Each of them had to sit in order of prestige. Riddle was seated first closest to the head followed by Trey, Cater, Deuce, and Ace. Ace complain about going last, but Deuce is still older by two months.

Ace began complaining about having to sit uncomfortably in seiza-style. Everyone was uncomfortable but Ace at least said it.

Riddle wouldn't dare admit his discomfort especially so early in the event. This was traditional and Yuu expectations were high. If he failed to meet her standards how could he expect her to meet his. If he can't do something so simple, she'd never trust his judgment again.

The event officially began with the audible closing of the door to the garden and Yuu entering and sitting down last.

"You guys are doing well. Seiza takes alot of practice. Your blood flow should improve overtime to make it easier." Yuu smiled as she turned down the outdoor burner for the water boiler. She neglected to mention how seiza isn't practice the same way since the Japanese government recognized it as a form of punishment considering the pain it caused. But her part her rules. "I hope you guys remember the ceremony takes about 4 hours to complete."

The audible groans that came from the group where hilarious. Yuu believed that the Riddle could use the humbling seeing the stained expression on his face.

"I don't know if I can do it." Deuce said, his face downcast and his teal puppy dog eyes on full display "I'm sorry, Yuu."

Her heart wasn't made of stone and Deuce her poor dumb-dumb was her her weakness.

"If that's the case we have seiza stools for you. It'll look like your sitting in position while taking the weight and stress of your legs." Yuu said giving in.

The boys took the offer, even Riddle knowing he wasn't expected to sit unassisted for 4 hours. He face was red with embarrassment when her noticed Yuu didn't need the aid of a stool.

As it was custom Riddle was promoted to ask questions about the ceremony for the group. The questions were written by Yuu before hand to help Riddle.

"What was the meaning of the scroll?" He asked.

"The theme is cherry blossom viewing. I thought it was best to be held outside." She answered in a rehearsed manor.

"What have you prepared?" He asked again.

"We shall begin with a meal with a watered down plum sake reserved for festivals. It's not strong enough to get drunk off of unless you have an entire bottle. Then we will take a break for a walk or play games. After that the tea ceremony begins. After we can go back to more casual fun." She said casual in an a different manor. She had plans.

After that Yuu presented the meal she had made. The meal served stared with a simple miso soup, rice, and salmon sashimi.

Ace and Deuce ate greedily with Grim and only stopped when Yuu gave them the evil eye. They reluctantly slowed down so they didn't suffocate on their food.

Cater was posting pictures of the food and laughed when the only pictures Vil would like had Yuu in them. Jealous much?

Trey feigned any acknowledgement of his surroundings as he enjoyed the scenery food. Truly an unbothered king.

Riddle fumbled with his chopsticks trying to pick up the fish before a helpful hand folded over his.

"Hold it like this." Yuu said her head over his shoulder and her cheek brushing against his. She moved his fingers into the right position and showed him how to pick up the fish. Before finishing her demonstration she pinched the fish between the wooden sticks and moved them to Riddle's mouth, feeding the headwarden the soy sauce soaked food.

Riddle turned ten shade of red as she pulled away.

Carter watch slack jawed as he dropped his chopsticks.

"Yuu? Can you help? I don't know how to use these." Cater whined calling for her.

Jealous much?

The next dishes where served with a nishime soup with bamboo shoot, lotus shoot and shiitake mushrooms. It was served with pork filled gyoza.

The first year boys loved the dumplings but didn't want to touch the veggie soup until Trey snapped out of revelry and eyed them both. Cater was also picky but knew he should just eat it.

Riddle actually liked the soup, it had a good soy sauce and sake based stock.

After everyone was already getting full, Yuu served dessert. Wagashi. It was a sweet made from mochi, sweet bean paste, and fruits.

Riddle found his favorite food so far and loved the taste of the floral peach.

Trey was in a similar boat and asked for her recipe. Yuu was happy to share as the made plans to make and serve more of these.

Yuu called for a break as everyone had to rest after such a meal. Full and satisfied they walked about viewing the flowers. Riddle took note of how well he and Yuu matched while standing under the cherry tree. A literal cherry tree not the cherry blossom trees.

Yuu showed the boys a few of the old games played during these event. Haiku writing, scripture reciting, origami, music, and dancing.

They didn't know that Yuu could do more then cook, she was actually good at playing the harp of all things and singing.

Trey was really good at tea ceremonies apparently. He truly understood its purpose. Distressing from everyday live and enjoying peace and tranquility. He had grown past simple earthly desires and was in touch with his innermost self and was finding the answer to who he was as a person.

"Okay, someone go get Trey. He's been staring up into the trees for way too long." Yuu said to Carter while watching Trey from a distance.

Trey's journey of enlightening had to end before he accidentally achieved nirvana after eating a bean bun. Honestly, what did Yuu put in that thing?

Yuu refocused on her flower arrangement preparing the actual ceremony. When she finish she rang a bell to signal the boys to come back and sit after washing up again.

Yuu began serving the tea as she poured the Macha power and water and whisked it into thick tea. This is where the rules must be followed to the letter.

Yuu movement must be precise as she prepared and poured the tea. Then she poured the tea into a bowl and bowed to Riddle who in turn bowed to her. He then raised the bowl in respect to her as a host.

He took a sip of the herble mix and complimented her tea as he wiped the rim before passing the bowl to Trey who did the same. On and on they all had to to it. Ace once again complained avout everyone elses lips touching the bowl causing a paper fan to go flying for his forehead this time. Yuu wasn't letting him get way with that one.

The formal part of the tea was just about over as Yuu removes the formal equipment and makes several cups of thin green tea to enjoy with light sakura cakes. She let the boys relax and recalin on the pillow cushions now.

"I was fun right?" She asked as they talked and drank.

"It was scary." Ace said rubbing his red forehead.

"I liked it." Deuce said wolfing down a cake. "The food is really good"

"I got so many pictures. The other dorms are practically green with envy." Cater smiled wickedly as he scrolled through the comment section. Vil was still being petty, and now Neige was paying attention.◇Drama!◇

Trey was still heading for inner peace so he was having a good time. Actually Yuu checked the sake and his might of been stronger then intended. He might actually be a super lightweight and is currently sloshed.

Riddle was sleepy after a big meal and all the activities. He leaned his head on Yuu's shoulder and dozed off. Her kimono was really soft and she smelled like fruit and flowers.

It wasn't exactly what Yuu imagined when she threw this party. She had intended to give Riddle a taste of his own medicine but seeing everyone even somewhat enjoyed the event was fun. It wasn't for everyone, at least not Ace who was the only one to complain. With a few changes here and there the others could really like this. Unfortunately, Yuu wasn't going to just change everything for westerners. Tradition was tradition and she already compromised enough.

She waved them off in the evening as she praised Grim for doing so well today. Trey and Riddle had to be carried back.

Trey

Trey recovered pretty well after the tea party. He thankfully didn't get sent to the heavens after achieving the 6th sense and becoming God.

They still had plans to cook desserts together. Yuu came over to the dorm with a bag full off something special.

She gleefully placed it on the counter as Trey eyed her with suspiciously.

"Guess what I got?" She said in a sing song voice.

"Something you want us to cook I'm guessing." Trey answered attempting to peer in the bag.

"Well yes, but that's not what I asked." Yuu pouted as she scooped up the bag to keep it away from Trey.

Trey wasn't going to play her game so he when back to making tarts as Yuu realized she wasn't getting anything out of him.

Trrreeeeyyyyy!" She whined as she pulled on Trey's apron.

Trey ignored her as he stirred the raspberry jam filling. When Yuu continued to whine he reached over to pat her head like a toddler who was demanding attention. Yuu reluctantly gave in and showed Trey the ingredient.

It was Hakuhou peaches. They were a top of the line peach known for its sweet, floral taste and soft texture. It made great treats.

Trey cut up slices to try so he could best see how to cook it.

Yuu showed him her recipe for peach tarts and the intended crowning dish for the day, peach flan.

Flan was difficult to get right, the consistency was hard to get right, the glaze must be glassy and just thick enough. The bigger the mold the harder to get it out with it falling apart.

Of course Yuu used a big mold and got it out without trouble.

"Oh my God, fuck you. Of course you did it perfectly the first try." Trey said exasperated with no real heat. Yuu laughed as he pouted now.

Yuu cut a slice of the flan and offered it to Trey to eat. Trey feigned reluctance and took a bite.

"It's really good." He sighed.

Yuu gently encouraged him as he took a napkin and wiped the caramel from the side of Trey's face.

"We can try something different."

Cater

Cater was a spice hound and was foolish enough to challenge Yuu. His idea was to do a live video of him trying Yuu's spiciest dish from her homeworld in a bid to make a new internet challenge.

Yuu almost immediately told Carter no. He wasn't ready for that. Cater wasn't listening though and insisted. He eventually wore her down and live on the air she placed a bowl of black dried ghost pepper noodles.

She advised him to be careful so he doesn't burn a hole in his stomach. She went easy on him by removing the seeds from the pepper for his own good.

"Thanks to our lovely chef Yuu, we have the best possible food for our challenge made hot and fresh. " Cater said pulling Yuu into frame why the hip. Because the camera perspective was at Cater level while sitting the audience couldn't see above Yuu's bust.

The viewers didn't mind as the made comments about wanting her "hot and fresh."

"Well that's enough fan service. Let's eat!" He said grabbing his chopsticks.

It went downhill fast as tears where shed and his nose was running. This didn't stop him because he wouldn't stop eating because it was, too good.

At some point Yuu took the bowl away and gave Cater a glass a milk. He was in too much pain to be cohesive now as he rested his face in Yuu's apron.

"Sorry, everyone but we need to cut here. We exercise personal safety in what we eat and seeing as Cater is in no condition to continue this is the end." Yuu said comforting her stupid friend by stroking his head but she was still as mischievous as always.

"This is what happens when you dont listen. Say goodbye Cater." Yuu cooed.

"Goodbye Cater." He moaned in pain, his face red fr the heat.

"Good Boy." She said cutting the feed.

When Cater finally recovered he got the internet fame he wanted. The trending tags were #ChefMommy, #Spicynoodechallange, #ChefYuu, #hotandfresh, #HeNeedsSomeMilk, and #bisexualmoment (yall better not use these. I will not be held responsible for making these tags.)

There were clips everywhere of the video. Memes of his face crying in Yuu's clothes that read "Me when my biwife says no more chicken nuggies"

Fans demanded Yuu to come back or for her to make her own channel.

Jack

Jack was probably the most normal person to feed. When he wanted something, he asked. No trick or games.

That is until Yuu had another fight with Leona and Leona banned Yuu from the dorm and giving food to Savanaclaw members.

Ruggie didn't listen and was staying at Ramshackle until it blows over because he wasn't giving up Yuu's food for anything.

Jack was caught between a rock and a hard place. He didn't like it but he complied.

It didn't help watching Ruggie all his fellow first years eating her lunches. She even made pear parfait for him and he couldn't have any.

Yuu thought it was painful to watch as he gave her puppy dog eyes.

Jack came up a convoluted work around. He would just sneak over to Ramshackle in his wolf form and eat there. As long as someone other then Yuu gave it to him then it wasn't "Yuu's" food.

He didn't feel guilty wolfing down a waygu steak and potatoes, lick his chops in satisfaction.

He still urged Yuu and Leona to call of their feud to no avail. He had to give up and chose a side. To bad Leona didn't nearly enough for Jack to side with him. Yuu was his classmate, gave him good food, cared about him alot, and smelled better.

It helped that Yuu loved feeding him more in his wolf form.

Epel

Epel walked back to Pomefiore with his arms full of takeout containers. Yuu made a Sunday dinner full of souther comfort foods.

Fired chicken, greens, Mac n' cheese, mashed potatoes with gravy, and a cinnamon apple pie.

Epel felt like he could sleep for days.

He had told Yuu that he missed home and when he talked about his grandmother's food their was a glint in her eye. She had gone behind his back to send a letter to his grandma and they began sharing recipes.

Yuu cooked everything to the letter.

When Epel took his first bite he almost cried. I was just like gram's but it reminded him of Yuu as well. He could taste a seasoning only she used.

He made sure to take back as much a possible and keeping his envious dorm mates from taking it. He knew Rook and Vil were snagging his food even if they were playing innocent. They could get their own. Yuu made this for him.

Around the holidays Yuu was at his house with Professor Crewel and Headmaster Crowley. She was cooking with Epel's grandmother who made not so subtle hints about her joining the family in the future.

Kalim

Yuu actually had no interest in cooking for Kalim. He made it clear he didn't eat anything that Jamil didn't make. Why step on someone else's toes.

She understood that everyone has preferences and fears are valid. She trusted Jamil to know what Kalim likes. She just cooked food for Jamil instead.

One evening while Jamil was cooking Yuu was in the kitchen feeding him bites of the lunch she made him that he forgot to eat since he was busy. Most people stared clear watching the affectionate scene but Kalim was too interested to say put.

He wanted in on this much to Jamil's annoyance.

"I want some." Kalim popped up, mouth open to a bid to be fed like a baby bird like Jamil.

"No, I couldn't eat earlier because I was so busy. It's mine." Jamil growled as he cooked Kalim's dinner. "Besides you'll spoil your appetite."

"He's right, Jamil is working hard to cook for you. You don't want to ruin that." Yuu said half heartedly. It's not like she didn't want to give him any, it's just that she respected Jamil.

"Not even a little bite?" Kalim said pitifully pulling on Yuu's sleeve.

"I'm sorry." Yuu sighed.

Still when Jamil's back was turned she spooned a serving of chicken Tajine into Kalim's mouth. Kalim was elated and gestured for more. He really liked it.

Yuu felt guilty but she couldn't help herself. She gave him more whenever Jamil wasn't looking, all the while feeding Jamil.

Was this cheating or betrayal? Probably not. If Jamil knew he didn't say anything.

Kalim got used to being fed after this and when Yuu was around he only wanted her to give him food. This made parties difficult as everyone watched Kalim being served by hand.

Jamil only sighed at Kalims spoiled behavior but he didn't have to cook every single day now so the break was a relief. This is why he told her not to give him food. Kalim was like a stray cat once you feed him once you can't get rid of him.

Crowley

Crowley knew he was being left out. Everyone in the teacher's lounge eagerly ate Yuu's cooking. The staff actually forced him to bankroll the operation to increase student moral which was working very well.

But where's his lunchbox? What about Crowley and his hunger? Was his child so cruel to leave him starving?

Yes. Yes, she was. If he was a better guardian then maybe he'd get food.

This actually did show Crowley just how bad his relationship with Yuu was. He was the only one left without anything.

He tried to get close, but she was always too busy for him. He hung around Ramshackle with the excuse of fixing up some stuff. When he did she asked him to focuse on the portal back to her home.

He eventually gave in and made some progress and made a small portal he could manage. I would be a long time before he could do any more then that. She could use it to send letters and talk to her family as well as grab small items from home. I was more then enough for Yuu who cried hugging him.

Crowley wasn't lying to her, he was looking for a way back for her but he had doubted his ability to do it it takes a lot of magic and required the aid of lots of people. He outdid himself by creating a stable portal that could stay open constantly. Yuu could even use it to get ingredients from her realm.

He had to promise her family to take care of her no matter what and made his guardianship offical with their consent.

He forgot about the lunchbox thing eventually due to caring more about her than the food. When he visited Ramshackle one evening he saw her making something and decided to join her. He wasn't good at cooking but he enjoyed that atmosphere. He messed up a few times but Yuu laughed and showed him how to fold the dough.

They placed the toppings on their pizza and put them in the oven. His came out a bit sad but at least Yuu's tuned out fine. They cute it up and sat down for a dinner of pizza, salad and pasta.

He could be a better parent but he was making progress.

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yourlocalcorviddad · 2 months

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Ok ok, more POTS! Danny headcannons

Original one is here!

Danny is like me in the fact that he will sit, hang, float upside down to help regulate issues, and he will very much forget that he has to sit adjust back to sitting normally, let alone standing after.

So he'll realize he's late for something-class, lab, lunch with friends, date with Dick, whatever-and immediately rush to stand, get halfway down the stairs/hall/whatever, and collapse to the floor or crash into the wall

Dick and others have found him many times like this.

Dick starts showing up early, when he can, to make sure Danny annually actually takes time to adjust

It just ends up with Danny falling onto him instead, not that either mind.

Someone gets Danny a salt lick as a joke when they find out it's one of the ones that's helpful. Danny 100% uses it, just leans over and licks it when he knows he needs it. This leads to others, likely Damian, finding the "'highest quality, filled with the best minerals needed' salt licks and stuff for gifts for Danny-either directly from Damian, or given to Dick to give to him-all of them are used and appreciated.

Danny has a love hate terrorism relationship with pickles.

On one hand: salty electrolyte filled treat.

On the other hand: if he bites into one more pickle that isn't crunchy-expecting exceptions for when it's warm on a sandwich or something intentionally-he's going to riot. It will be his supervillain moment.

He's good about eating when he remembers, but if he's in a hyperfixation moment, it can last ages and he'll forget. Tucker makes a reminder thing for him but it's not always helpful.

Once he went so long when he stood up after, it wasn't just black spots and wooziness, he actually passed out, hitting his head on the side of the table and actually cracking a ride l rib and arm landing wrong.

Dick and the others made him promise he'd set alarms. Tim just straight up makes one that visually and audibly reminds him to eat.

They then work together to fit it into his bracelets and then also sell it for others to use.

#dpxdc #death defying #dcxdp #trans danny #pots danny au #Danny and hyperfixation go hand in adhd hand #i don't normally go full pass out just spots loss of balance etc #Danny mostly losses balance and stuff #unless it's really bad #they had do have salt licks that are just salt #it's not just the animal ones that have extra stuff in them #anyone can add to these if they have ideas btw #i love seeing others thoughts on things too

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7-pines · 2 months

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top 10 things to put into aging barrels

Cactus honey <- Bee house <- Cactus (flower)

Large gesha coffee <- Keg <- Large gesha coffee bean

Goat cheese wheel <- Cheese press <- Large goat milk

Large salted quail egg <- Mason jar <- Large quail egg

Gesha coffee <- Keg <- Gesha coffee bean

Melon juice <- Keg <- Melon (fruit)

Goat cheese <- Cheese press <- Goat milk

Fairy rose honey <- Bee house <- Fairy rose (flower)

Pineapple juice <- Keg <- Pineapple (fruit)

Salted quail egg <- Mason jar <- Quail egg

Calculated without factoring buy prices into this. While animals are expensive, they don't ever stop producing. Ranking based on profit per hour (i.e. how much per hour you make while while these are in their respective artisanal machines).

Since the top 10 largely answers what animal products to prioritize (though I will say, white truffle oil and large llama yarn beat out cactus mead on their own), moving onto other categories of things to prepare for aging barrels. For everything here, make the flowers into honey via bee houses, fruits into juice via kegs and vegetables into pickles via mason jars.

Best Spring Crop: Snowdrop (Rank C, 45g seeds)

Best Summer Crop: Melon (Rank E, 130g seeds)

Best Fall Crop: Cactus (Rank B, 300g seeds)

Best Winter Crop: Snowdrop (Rank C, 45g seeds)

Best Seedling: Lychee... but it's ranked 38 (way below everything else here)

Best Saplings in order of profit:

Durian (spring)

Peach (summer)

Apple (fall)

Alternatives: Cauliflower (Rank F, 70g seeds) during Spring. Fairy Rose (Rank C), Lily (Rank D) and Rice (Rank F) (put this one in the keg) for Fall.

#coral island #coral island spoilers #coral island numbers

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8-dermestid · 1 month

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Hello, I hope you are well! Recently I read a fanfic of yours on Ao3 about Ticci Toby and I fell in love with your writing!! I loved the way you develop the characters and their feelings!! 🤧💕✨

I would like to know if you write for Creepypasta X Virus, it is one of my favorites but there is almost no content online about it 🥹👉🏻👈🏻

Anyway, I saw your requests are open! If the idea pleases you, I would like to ask for headcanons of X Virus and Toby (or just Toby) with a reader who practices magic and has somewhat "dark" tastes (interest in poisonous animals/plants and the supernatural as a whole, in short, just a scary and adorable nerd at the same time!)

Thanks!! 💚

ahh! hello-hello!! i read x-virus' story and took notes for these, i really enjoyed writing Cody, so thank you very much for the request :-]

i rlly liked this request, and this is actually the first time i've ever done headcanon-ish things, i hope you enjoy these (bc i enjoyed writing them a lot)

x-virus & ticci toby: reader with macabre interests

relationships: ticci toby x reader, x-virus x reader

word count: 1.5k

links: available on ao3

x-virus warnings: animal death (off-screen, animal body shown) animal dissection, taxidermy, canon-typical violence

ticci toby warnings: canon-typical violence

☣︎ X-Virus | Cody _____ ☣︎

You let it slip one day that you wanted to try taxidermy, an embarrassing guilty pleasure you were confident you could keep under wraps, but Cody’s just been so nice about your eccentricities and you couldn’t help yourself.

“They use bugs in the process, lots of museums have them to clean the bones because they’re better than the best person with the best tools—” You pace back and forth as Cody watches you from your bed, “—Because that’s all they do, all they do is eat rotting flesh off the bone. The bones last much longer when cleaned by any Dermes—”

You stop yourself from mentioning the insects by their scientific name, embarrassed that you let your ramblings slip away like that.

Cody leaves the next day and you’re left alone with your thoughts. Maybe there’s another mansion full of serial killers so you can start fresh, your ears burn recalling how excited you got talking about flesh-eating bugs.

A few days later, Cody returns to the mansion with a limp raccoon and some things it stole from the local morgue.

You spend the entire night together trying to preserve this creature’s hide, you take it apart with precise motions, expertly moving the scalpel along the skin and parting flesh and sinew. You soak the skin in salts, rubbing it into the bloody underside until you smell like copper and the salt mines.

The whole room smells like formaldehyde, too.

✸ ☣︎ ✸

Cody is so excited to share its books with you, all of them. You spend long evenings together curled over a battery-powered lantern and ten-pound textbooks, occasionally mentioning an interesting tidbit when you come across one. Your books are filled with flattened foliage from the surrounding woods, poisonous plants and flowers, plastic baggies filled with poison ivy leaves, and hand-drawn diagrams of each plant’s internal structures in a ballpoint pen. It flips through each page carefully, examining each specimen, complimenting each note and observation.

“You should open a museum,” It says, running a finger over a pressed Conium maculatum. That snaps you out of your science headspace.

You should, but you can’t. “Besides, who would enjoy a museum like that?” You argue.

“Think about the Mütter Museum,” It quips back, “If people frequent a museum full of pickled people-guts and spines, I’m sure people would go to yours. People like flowers.”

In another universe where violence wasn’t at the forefront of your mind, maybe you’d be the curator of a weird little museum full of oddities.

✸ ☣︎ ✸

“Toby comes here all the time to burn CDs, don’t worry, the cameras stopped working years ago and they never bothered to fix them,” Cody pushes open a window and climbs into the air-conditioned computer lab of the local library, “Just don’t knock anything over, I guess.” It jokes.

You drop through the window and feel goosebumps form on your arms, you haven’t felt air conditioning in years.

Cody unlocks the door leading to the rest of the facility, you walk side-by-side, dragging your fingers over the spines of dozens of books.

“You know the Dewey Decimal System, right?” Cody asks, there’s a thrill with breaking in, especially for pleasure (rather than worrying about killing every occupant in a house, you both can focus on finding a specific edition of a book you were dying to read).

“By heart.” You joke, guiding it to the 500s: Natural Sciences.

You spend five hours squished up together reading from the same book. It points to a diagram and you explain every minute detail, Cody listens eagerly to your explanations, wanting to ingrain every word that comes out of your brilliant, perfect brain, and memorize the way you describe the venom sacs of the Hydrophis schistosus.

The way it rolls off your tongue—Hydrophis schistosus—Cody wants that to be the last sound it ever hears, the sound echoing forever in its brain until the heat death of the universe.

You creep down to the 200s and find a few textbooks about niche religious practices. You tell Cody about the rarity of cannibalistic religious practices, and the prevalence of cannibalism in some movies ticks you off.

“Cannibalism isn’t that common,” You scoff, “It’s more than socially taboo, it’s biologically taboo. Ever heard of Kuru?”

“Tell me.” It begs.

✸ ☣︎ ✸

⦻ Ticci Toby | Tobias Erin Rogers ⦻

Every word that comes out of you flies over his head. Even though he doesn't know a thing about what you’re telling him about, he’s completely and utterly enamored. Toby never graduated high school, and—for the most part—he’s glad he didn’t have to spend any more time around high-school people.

He misses learning. Sometimes Toby thinks he’s stupid, Tim and Brian went to university, and they have high school diplomas with their names on them somewhere, Toby has nothing except an honor roll card from the eighth grade. You’re so brilliant, maybe part of him thinks he’s weighing you down by stopping your ramblings to ask for clarification. He’s so deep in thought he hasn't been paying attention to your talks about the Ghent Altarpiece’s connection to ancient practices of animal sacrifice.

“Does it bother you when I do that—when I don’t know things a-and you gotta explain it to me?”

You’re sitting on the porch together looking out over the rolling fog, he sucks in a breath, the tip of a Marlboro lighting up orange-hot.

“I like it, actually.” You say matter-of-factly

Toby’s diaphragm sputters as smoke spills from his nose, and he coughs hard into his elbow. “...Doesn’t it—But I’m interrupting you because I’m too stupid to get it the first time—”

That word gives you pause, and Toby tosses away the cigarette butt and curls into himself, shame burning hot on his face.

“I don’t think—”

“E-Everyone does,” He cries, “I-I can’t help it, I couldn’t even finish high school. Tim and Brian made it to college, at least.”

You push yourself into his personal space, knocking your knee into his as you lean over to share a secret.

“I can teach you if you’d like.”

Toby’s red-hot shame melts into a giddy flush as your warm breath lands on his ear.

✸ ⦻ ✸

The next victim that comes Toby’s way—a family of three with a prying-eyed teenager getting too close to discovering the mansion—grants you both access to the internet for a time.

You start with Wikipedia, it’s good practice to get bare-bones information that starts the deep dive. Marine Biology is the starting topic because the random article Wikipedia spat out at you was about the bigfin squid.

Toby mumbles aloud as he scrolls through the article, the picture on the right left the hairs on his arms standing on end. Little is known about it because it dwells so deep, and scientists aren’t entirely sure why its distinct long arms are there.

“Nobody knows how it feeds?”

“We know more about space than our oceans,” You say, “We have pictures of the Big Bang.”

Toby rolls back on the wheeled chair and pushes the keyboard to you.

You open a new tab and open the search bar.

COSMIC MICROWAVE BACKGROUND.

He pulls back in, opening the third link that pops up. You sit quietly as he devours an entire article explaining the picture’s existence, he’s vibrating in his chair. Toby continues the search without your input, googling words and finding plenty of pictures of smattered space dust orbiting tiny, dense stars.

The pictures of the black hole shake him to his core, nebulae give him chills, beautiful planets and star systems and moons and—

Alpha Centauri grabs a hold of Toby’s body and keeps him there. He pushes the monitor towards you and you read along with him, he’s shaking with excitement, free hand flapping excitedly as he scrolls through the academic journal.

He prints out a few pictures before the police show up, the cosmic microwave background bathing the room in greens and blues and smatterings of yellows and reds.

✸ ⦻ ✸

He starts stealing books from the library, as do you. You take turns showing and telling. He shows you astronomy books and you show him textbooks about the history of taxonomy; you spend hours sitting across from each other on the floor exchanging knowledge.

“I’m—I’m glad we did this. Thanks for doing all of—of that.”

You peek over an academic journal you’ve read at least seven times, smiling softly as Toby puts his new collection of literature into a box and pushes it into the closet. He piles a few flannels and shirts over the box to camouflage it amongst his dirt laundry.

“Why’re you doing that?”

Toby turns to you and turns away meekly, “...It’s our special thing, you get it? I don’t want anyone getting into our business. This is our thing. Our special thing.”

A warmth creeps up your neck as Toby holds your gaze. You close your journals.

“Babies have more bones than adults.” You whisper, your hand splayed over his shoulder blades, “About three hundred.”

Toby’s breath hitches as your hands warm the spot where his cervical vertebrae end and the thoracic meet.

“H-How many are—” He covers his mouth to cover a shaky breath, “—i-in the spine?”

“There are thirty-three vertebrae. Seven cervical,” You and trails down his back, “Twelve thoracic,” you creep further, “Five lumbar,” Lower and lower you go, “Five sacral,” You’re getting bold now, “...And four coccygeals.”

You hold your hands there, Toby enjoys the warmth radiating from your fingers, he wants to melt into you like watered-down clay (you would call it slip since you know everything). He wants to read books with you for the rest of his life and not do anything else.

He wants you to count every rib, every tooth in his mouth, every bone in his hands and feet—counting and counting and counting until he's dizzy.

✸ ⦻ ✸

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mariacallous · 5 months

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Several years ago, I invited my new boyfriend to Yom Kippur at my aunt’s house. He didn’t need convincing – I think he adored my family early on – but to entice him further I made sure he knew what was on offer.

Bagels. Cream cheese. Lox.

Let’s just say he showed up on time. I knew my aunt would be thrilled when he devoured the pickled herring. (He earned similar accolades when he asked for seconds of gefilte fish at Passover.)

Jewish food, he says, is just a hop, skip and a jump from the Scandinavian food he grew up with. “It’s like the foods of my people. Foods of your people, foods of our people.”

Apart from being poetic, it was a very Jewish thing for him to say.

Now my husband, Brad is definitively non-Jewish by all religious standards. His father was raised in a big Irish Catholic family and his mother, raised in the Midwest, is of Scandinavian descent. He was the first non-Jewish person I’d met with his own proclivity for pickled fish and smoked salmon.

Among the items he always kept in his pantry — before he met me and still today — are tinned fish and Triscuits, often eaten as a meal. He and I have been on a year-long journey of finding the best “real rye bread” within driving distance in the greater Metrowest area of Boston. (Haven’t found it yet.)

To say that he embraces all things Jewish is obvious. That he loves me is only part of the reason; another is the food.

My grandmother always had enough food to feed an army, no matter whether it was Shabbat, Passover or Tuesday. I watched as Brad became accustomed to the foods we loved and the leftovers we take pride in sharing: the containers left on the table after Yom Kippur for extra brisket, the paper bags for challah and rugelach.

But he’s taught us about food, too. Our family text chain is called “Smashburgers Unite” because of my family’s newfound favorite meal, brought to us by my husband. A better cook than I (a generous understatement), he loves cooking projects.

At that point, my biggest cooking project I’d taken on was making latkes for Hanukkah.

It had been my job for years. I’d shove the potatoes in the Cuisinart, wring them out as best I could, and do my best guesswork with how much egg, matzah meal, onion and salt should go in. Then I’d stand at the stove and fry them, the kitchen filling with that wonderful greasy-spoon smell, as the rest of my family arrived. I laid them out as they were done, always in an inadvertent ombre from light to dark as the oil, and my patience, decreased.

So for Brad’s first Hanukkah with us, I told him — who once made a BBQ for 40 people with no help from anyone — that I (and, by proxy, he) was in charge of latkes.

“Cool,” he said. His indifference both alarmed and relieved me.

“It’s more work than you think,” I said.

I should have known he’d have better tricks for peeling massive amounts of Russet potatoes and draining their water (cheesecloth! The man I’m dating owns cheesecloth?!), adding cornstarch to help the eggs adhere better to the mix, and adding enough salt so they actually tasted good. He added seasonings like zaatar, onion powder and garlic powder. He showed me how to wait until all the oil – way more than I was used to adding for frying – was shimmering, and to be patient while each side cooked.

I think he wanted to add a shallot.

“It’s not traditional,” I said.

“So?” he said.

He had a point.

The latkes that year were a hit. My family made sure he knew that it was now his task for life. They were joking, but they were also serious.

I knew he was about to take this latke-making to the next level. On the way home, he thought up different flavor combinations, like adding dill and black pepper, and what if we fried them in schmaltz – we’d have to roast a chicken first; store-bought schmaltz wouldn’t cut it – and what if we added cayenne, and what if we used different root vegetables, like turnips and rutabagas, and what if made a sweet potato version?

I was exhausted just thinking about it. The latkes take a great deal of effort, and I don’t have the same love of cooking that Brad does. Where he sees opportunity, I see how long it will take to clean up.

Maybe we buy shredded potatoes, to make it easier? I suggested.

But no: Everything from scratch, no shortcuts. Our first year in our new home together, we made them in our kitchen. He shredded the potatoes, I wrung them out. He set up three bowls with different seasonings and spices. I spooned them into balls, and we’d take turns at the stove, frying, flipping, frying again. We ate several between us right away – impossible not to. Yes, it was an hours-long process. But the pride I felt at bringing them home, measured by the silence while people ate and ate, was unmatched.

I learned that the effort, the planning, the execution: it’s a way of showing love. The energy we put into the latkes as a team made me feel closer, somehow, to the holiday and to my Jewish roots.

That first meal of jointly-made latkes also included my mom’s brisket. Over dinner, the conversation turned to other traditional Jewish foods like corned beef and pastrami. Brad pointed out that they were both brisket, just made different – something we hadn’t really ever thought about.

He mentioned he could make a pastrami.

Our eyes widened.

“It’s just a matter of brining it…then smoking it…”

So we’re in charge of both now: latkes and pastrami.

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poppurini · 9 months

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FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES ：with lilia ヾ( ˃o˂ )◞

note. doing all five for this man bc i’m greedy

wc. 1566﹐gn!reader mostly but fem!reader in one small part of a section ig? in giving gifts!

giving gifts — for some people, receiving / giving a heartfelt gift is what makes them feel most loved.

this one’s a given! he loves travelling, so he’ll definitely bring you lots and lots of souvenirs. i feel like lilia’s definitely the kind to give you rings / bracelets / necklaces stored with the sand from the beach you two went to or something similar teehee. the kind to randomly gift you something even when there’s no special occasion. “this reminds me of you” kind of bf <3 definitely remembers the things you like / your preferences to make you even happier!

i also think lilia would gift you handmade crafts! the moment he finds out there are such creative ways to express one’s love to another? oh boy, he’s purchasing all the colour papers, glue sticks, popsicle sticks, whatever! yknow those diy cube thingies that could be opened and pictures are stuck to each and every side? yeah those. he’ll definitely make it colourful and sparkly! maybe even a little messy / some errors here and there but it’s just so lilia to do that, one look at it and people can guess who it’s from. it’s definitely much more endearing than picture-perfect ones.

flowers flowers flowers! he never forgets them. you might even need to remind him that you’ve ran out of vases! i’ve said this so many times in my lilia posts but i will die on this hill he gives you flowers native to briar valley, his homeland. not to mention the scented letters written in perfect cursive? the poems? just him spilling out all his love for you on ink? search for the meaning of those flowers and you’ll run into his arms crying and peppering his face with kisses, swear.

also loves matching with you! matching keychains, bracelets, necklaces, anklets, phone cases, rings (wink), pretty much everything. will buy “she’s my queen” “he’s my king” neon coloured couple t-shirts, ironically or not it’s up to your sanity. he’ll also give you rocks he finds cool looking he’s so stupid (i want to exchange vows with him)

acts of service — for these people, actions speak louder than words. these are nice things you do for your partner that make them feel loved and appreciated.

he likes doing things for you. trouble with homework? let him help! going somewhere? let him fly you! oh, your laundry’s piling up…let him play his favourite horror movie on the tv first! wanna take a drink but too lazy to get up from the bed? fine, fine, but you gotta give him a kiss as a reward later, kay? even though he could just use magic to float it towards you, he just wants an excuse to steal kisses.

definitely offers to cook but who would want that. so he’ll try his best to assist you in the kitchen upon your orders! no five tablespoons of salt or frog slime in the soup? tsk. he does dishes most of the time since he’s not allowed to cook in your kitchen anymore :(

this sounds so unserious but it gets me on my knees. he orders food / inquires concerns—“they asked for no pickles” that kind—for you if you’re too scared or shy to do it. no i will not elaborate further. also very casually swipes a few tissues, grabs your jaw gently and wipes the crumbs at the corner of your mouth while continue to hum to your words. if you complain about how you were planning on doing it yourself later he just chuckles and gives your cheek a teasing pat. oh, just let him take care of you, would you? he doesn’t mind, you just keep taking about your day and tell him about the kitten you saw. taking care of others is one of his best feats!

quality time — this is all about giving the other person your undivided attention. they feel loved if you are present and focused on them when you are together.

he will always, and i mean always, make time for you. he’s already old and gets a wild card to do whatever he wants in his life so ofc he’d want to spend it all on you! especially if he had no choice but to put you second hundreds of years ago back when he had royal duties (if you guys are already together then) he’ll definitely make it up to you now.

i feel like lilia is HEAVY on quality time due to his race as a fae and former general status, he knows far too well how fleeting time can be and how much you could lose from it, so he really appreciates time with you no matter how it’s spent. even lazing on the couch and having simple cuddles would be enough to make his old heart melt! him lying stomach down in between your legs and resting his cheek on your stomach; just wrapping his arms around your figure and snuggling in, he’ll groan like he’s getting a professional full body massage when you play with his hair / massage his scalp.

but of course he still wishes to travel around the globe with you, his darling love. just think of the amount of things you two are going to experience! witnessing new cultures and sights, the inevitable small arguments during vacations, sliding the curtains open fully at the break of dawn to let the sun shine on your sleepy figure and hearing your groggy groans, catching the pillow you throw at him, they’ve got lilia’s heart thumping loudly in its cage.

psst, as a bonus, tell him you want attention while he’s gaming and he’ll immediately log out for you <3 eh, he can tackle this raid later. sorry user gloomurai!

words of affirmation — this language uses words to affirm other people. it’s about expressing affection through spoken words, praise, or appreciation.

SCREAMS TILL MY VOCAL CHORDS BREAK he has no qualms repeating his affection and admiration for you, especially if you’re someone who constantly craves it; he’ll gladly remind you every minute of the day. lilia would cradle you in his arms, humming a calm tune while caressing your skin and pressing chaste kisses to your forehead / hair every now and then.

pats your head reassuringly and lets you bury yourself into his shoulder / chest if you’re feeling particularly clingy that day; telling you how pretty you are, how cute you are, how your silly little jokes and laughs got him feeling like a schoolboy in love—“you know, like those, what do you call it? shoujo mangas?”—and how you got this legendary former war general completely wrapped around your finger.

i think there’s something so beautiful about one accepting your flaws and aiding you to solve the problem if it’s possible instead of just brushing you off by singing false praises…and that’s what my interpretation of lilia is. what’s that? you feel bad for being a “burden” and not good enough for him? nonsense. he loves you with his entire heart and soul, that also includes loving your flaws and helping you through it.

now, that doesn’t mean he thinks you’re a burden or unworthy of him, but he’ll find the root of the problem together with you to know why you feel this way so he could truly help you through it and make you feel better about yourself, it’s what you deserve. it really aches the man’s heart to hear you speak of yourself so negatively when all he thinks of you is everything good and butterflies in his stomach.

physical touch — to this person, nothing speaks more deeply than appropriate physical touch. they feel love through physical affection.

lilia loves having an arm around your waist, caressing it gently with his thumb while he nods and listens attentively to you talk about your day. he’ll gently brush a stray strand of hair out of the way or tuck it behind your ear to get a better view of your— what, you look better with your hair framing your face? wrong! you look good whenever and right now he wants to admire your pretty face with no obstacles in the way.

his hand, although small, is firm and heavy against yours. absolutely loves intertwining your fingers together and rubbing his thumb on your skin, he’ll kiss the inside of your wrist while looking into your eyes with a warm gaze, always the romantic.

one of the things that makes him absolutely go weak is you sitting on his lap!! probably likes you straddling him most because he gets to be closest with you that way. it isn’t even about being sensual he just adores holding your body close against his, melting into each other’s warm and secure embrace with no care in the world.

when you’re in this position, you’ll find him speaking in a softer tone, perhaps even a little deeper than his usual voice (see: general lilia times). maybe he’s doing it on purpose because he knows it flusters you or maybe he just feels safe and allows himself to be vulnerable around you. he’ll do reassuring caresses on your thighs, waist, or both; drawing random patterns and sometimes even telling you to guess them with a small chuckle.

he’s always holding you with such tender love and care it undoubtedly makes you melt each and every time, and he’s not even trying. his hold just harbours such genuine love and affection for you, it’s another way of exposing his feelings bare to you if he wasn’t speaking up about it already. he’d love to touch you at all times if possible, it’s a solid reminder that you’re still here, with him.

he cups your cheek benevolently with one hand, caressing the heated skin and giving chaste kisses to those lips he’s addicted to, murmuring promises and affection that holds true while the other hand wraps reassuringly, tightly, perhaps even desperately around your waist, he’s not going anywhere and neither are you.

written and posted by millie. copying, reposting, rewriting, or uploading on other platforms are strictly prohibited.

#lilia vanrouge x reader #lilia vanrouge #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #gender neutral reader #the 4am effects #lili :( i love lili

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