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inkskinned · 3 months

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you have to go to work so you can pay for your doctor, who is not taking your insurance right now, and if you say i can't afford the doctor's you are told - get a better job. it is very sad that you are unwell, yes, but maybe you should have thought about that before not having a better job.

(where is the better job? who is giving out these better jobs? you are sick, you are hurting - how the hell are you supposed to be well enough for this better job?)

but you go to the doctor because you had the nerve to be hurt or sick or whatever else. and they tell you that it is because you have anxiety. you try your best. you are a self-advocate. you've done the reading (which sometimes pisses them off worse, honestly). you say it is actually adding to my anxiety, it is effecting my quality of life. so they say that you are fat. they say that all young people have this happen to them, isn't it a medical marvel! they say that you should eat more vegetables. they say that you probably just need to lose a little more weight, and that you are faking it for attention.

(what attention could this doctor possibly give? what validation? that's their fucking job, isn't it?)

there is always a hypochondriac, right. someone always tells you about a hypochondriac. or someone who is unnecessarily aggressive during the worst days of their life. or someone looking "for a quick fix". or some idiot who wasn't educated about how to properly care for themselves who just abandons their treatment. and again, the hypochondriac, the overly-cautious hysteric. these people don't deserve to be treated like humans (right), and since you might be one of these people, you also don't get treated like a human. because those people can really fuck with the system, you now have to pay for it. and besides. you're actually probably faking it.

(more often than not, you find a 2:1 ratio of these stories. for every "hypochondriac", there are 2 people who knew something was wrong, and yet nobody could fucking find it. the story often ends with pointless suffering. the story often ends with and now it's too late, and it's going to kill me.)

you are actually just making excuses. someone else got that procedure or that diagnosis and he's fine, you should be fine too. someone else said they watched a documentary about other inspirational people with your exact same condition, maybe you should be inspirational, too. you're just too morbid. your pain and your experience is probably just not statistically concerning. it is all self-reported anyway, and you're just being a baby.

(once, while sitting down in the middle of making coffee, you had the sudden, horrible thought - i could kill myself to make the pain stop. you had to call your best friend after that. had to pet your dog. had to cry about it in the shower. you won't, but that moment - god, fuck. the pain just goes on and on.)

you know someone who went in for routine surgery and said i still feel everything. they told her to just relax. it took her kicking and screaming before they figured out she wasn't lying - the anesthetic drip hadn't been working. you know someone who went in for severe migraines who was told drink water and lose weight. you know someone who was actively bleeding out and throwing up in the ER and was told you're just having a bad period.

in the ER there are always these little posters saying things like "don't wait! get checked today!" and you think about how often you do wait. how often the days spool out. you once waited a full week before seeing the doctor for what you thought was a sprained wrist. it had actually been broken - they had to rebreak it to set it.

but you go into the doctor. the problem you're having is immediate. the person behind the counter frowns and says we're not taking your insurance. you will be paying for this out-of-pocket.

they send you home with tylenol and a little health packet about weight loss or anxiety or attention deficit. on the front it has your birthday and diagnosis. you think about crying, and the words swim. it might as well say go fuck yourself. it might as well say you're a fucking idiot. it might as well say light your money on fire and lie down in it. and the entire fucking time - the problem persists.

it's okay. it's okay, it's just another thing, you think. it's just another thing i have to learn to live with.

#spilled ink #warm up #can you tell what i'm mad about today specifically #i will say that there are a LOT of things that go into this. like a lot. this is ungendered and unspecific for a reason #it isn't just sexism. it's also racism. and ableism. and honestly classism.#and before a healthcare professional reads this as a personal attack: i understand ur burnt out #we are ALSO burnt out. your situation is also dire. this is not an attack on you.#this is a commentary on the incredible amounts of bigotry that lie at the heart of capitalism #where people have to pay money out of pocket to be told to fuck off.#your job is important. so is our humanity. and if you cannot accept that people are fucking mad as hell #at the industry - you are probably not listening .#anyway at some point im gonna write a piece about sexism specifically in medical shit #but i don't want terfs clowning in it bc they can't understand nuance #> it is true that ppl w/a uterus are more likely to experience medical malpractice & dismissal globally #> it is also true that trans people experience an equally fucked up and bad time in the medical field #> great news! the medical industrial complex is an equal opportunity life ruiner :)#(if you find it necessary to go into a debate about biology while discussing medical malpractice #i want to warn you that you're misunderstanding the issue. because guess what.#cis MEN might experience this. particularly black men. particularly disabled men.#so YES having a uterus can lead to more trouble for you. but this happens a LOT.#instead of fighting those ALSO experiencing your pain.... try working WITH them.#which btw. is like. actual feminism.)

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taohs · 9 months

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(some) Balalaika moments that lives in my head rent free

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 5 months

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Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girl found dead in a hidden room.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #lan xichen #jin guangyao #jiang cheng #wei wuxian #qin su #EDIT: Tumblr published an earlier draft with only half the notes I wrote so: late entry on my JGY thoughts.#Unlike the mystic powers of the stockmarket (what the OG meme is referring to) I think this situation calls for more active investigation.#qin su is such a deeply tragic character to me and I really wish we got a bit more from her.#Love everyone who sent me messages about her after the last time she appeared.#I think she needs a spin off of her being a transmigrator SO badly.#MDZS has so many interesting characters - but it sometimes fails to give them the proper room to really develop past a role in the plot.#That's just the consequence of writing a story like MDZS. Not every character in a book *needs* to have a rich inner life and backstory!#To do so would bog down the story and obliterate any notion of pacing. It's just not possible.#Jin Guangyao (nee Meng Yao) is unfortunately not free from this leeway rule. He is the culprit of this murder mystery plot #and thus NEEDS to encapsulate the themes of the book. And personally he's a 7 out of 10 at best on this front (in the AD).#MDZS is about rumours twisting reality and working towards truth. And about how people & situations are rarely ever black & white #JGY has his motivations. He's well written in regards to his actions making sense for his character.#What started as good traits (drive to succeed & improve his image) became twisted over time (do anything to maintain his image)#and it's a good parallel to WWX! He has the same arc (with different traits)! Bonus points for IGY in that regard.#but man....by the time we confront this guy for murder there's not a lot of grey morality. He's just...deep in the hole *he* dug.#There's a beautiful tragedy to it! More on JGY in later comics - this is getting pretty long already!

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starchaserwrites · 2 months

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@jegulus-microfic / february 14: lips / word count: 334

James Potter has an obsession with chapsticks, Regulus can bet he probably has one of every flavour in existence, and wherever he goes he always carries at least one. Regulus shares classes with him all week and this week's summary was:

Monday: Cherry - which he applied while frowning and trying to answer a particularly complex question.

Tuesday: Grape - as he leans in close to Regulus to ask the result of number 4.

Wednesday: Marshmallow - just before saying goodbye to Regulus.

Thursday: Mint cocoa - while offering him his homemade brownie.

Friday: Mango - while asking Regulus what he's doing for the weekend and inviting him to a party.

Not that Regulus is keeping track, but who uses so many at the same time.

So on Saturday, with a few drinks in him and watching from the kitchen door as James wins a game of beer pong, Regulus feels more bold than usual. The moment the older boy starts applying lip balm is the only signal he needs to approach.

"You use a lot of chapstick," is the opening line he decides to use.

"Regulus, you came!" he replies excitedly and gives him a hug. From this distance it is possible to smell the sweet smell of caramel (maybe). "And yes, if I don't use them, I feel like my lips are dying, plus they taste wonderful," he continues, before applying some more moisturiser.

And the younger Black has never pretended to be a strong man when it comes to Potter, so when his eyes linger as the other slides the golden-brown stick across his lips wishing and wanting to be it, it shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone.

"Do you want to try?" asks James when he catches him looking.

"Sure."

The thing is, Regulus was waiting for him to drop the small cylinder into his outstretched hand, not for James to hold him gently by the chin as he slowly approaches.

"Is this okay?"

And what can Regulus do except nod.

Confirmed, salted caramel.

#a classic I guess #happy valentines people #love u all #jegulus #james potter #regulus black #james x regulus #starchaser #sunseeker #jegulus microfic #marauders #len writes

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wolvesandshine · 1 month

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Regulus Black being an emo writer and being a jock are two things that can and should coexist

#listen is he writing sad boy poetry in his book? yes #is he also getting into fights with people twice his height over quidditch? yes #regulus black #marauders era #jegulus #marauders era funny #marauders era textpost #harry potter #marauders #james potter #starchaser #sunseeker #regulus black deserved better #sirius black #marauders era funny textpost #marauders era meme

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fireheartwraith · 5 months

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I need you all to understand that because there’s a city in Brazil called CHRISTMAS (aka Natal because Portuguese) and another one called BETHLEHEM (aka Belém), as a kid I thought JESUS IS BRAZILIAN

#qsmp #also there's a really famous movie called auto da compadecida where jesus shows up and he's a black man #and the movie happens in the region where both those cities are in #SO THE COINCIDENCES JUST KEPT PILING UP #jesus eats cuzcuz write that down #brasil #brazilian #brazil #christmas #christianity #only two people pointed out that Belém and Natal are not in the same region WE HAVE ALL FAILED

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bixels · 3 months

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I wanna get around to doing some small story beats for the "Main Six Takes Manhattan" story. It'd be a good chance for me to play around with different art styles too.

I'm really excited about this story too because it'd be splitting everyone up into pairs for their own little arc.

Rarity attends a fashion showcase in upper Manhattan, with April-Jacqueline in tow as her "attendant." The two get swept up in industry drama as they uncover the abuse faced by amateur designer Carol Cho under the American fashion house "Polomare."

Pinkie and Thea head to Harlem for a rent party, hosted by Thea's city friends. Despite Thea's protestations, Pinkie can't help but be the life of the party as its tenants and musicians attempt to raise enough money to fight their landlords and demand housing justice.

Dash and Félicie navigate NYC's transportation system to go to a ball game: the New York Wonderbolts vs. the Washington Senators. While Dash meets her heroes, Félicie can't help but feel homesick and smothered by the big city.

#i have 3 major art projects going on at once tho rn #the au/ko crisis for a writing class/my storyboarding job #so things are slower going #delete later #personal #last story is def the weakest. i definitely wanna set up some solidarity between spitfire and dash (as colonized people)#i need to find a strong political/historical angle for that because each arc's theme is racial solidarity and allyship #rarity and carol represent chinese/korean solidarity (especially given both groups would become victims of imperialism during that era)#and pinkie and thea represent hispanic/black solidarity (with a specific focus on housing and redlining)

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dejwrld · 2 months

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and to all the white mutuals who blocked me & soft blocked me because of me being vocal about anti blackness in fandom spaces in the name of “clearing your dash of discourse” i hope your fics flop and your favorite character dies in whatever manga/anime you’re currently obsessing over.

#truly don’t want your time on this site disturbed but how do you think black fanfic writers on here feel #as they’re getting slurs thrown at them for writing about nanami sticking his dick in black reader ???#how do you think black fanfic writers feel as their fics ideas are getting stolen by their white fanfic writer peers #how do you think you black writers feel creating a space for themselves in still have racists invade that space #on my soul a lot of you non black people on here so damn performative!#but the ones who are aware of what their black mutuals go through and spread awareness #hope your fav eat your ass!

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silence-between-seconds · 2 months

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free pandora from her angel allegations. my girl is batshit

she was canonically a mad scientist and she died while doing her mad scientist things. she's crazy and insane and I love her for it.

#pandora #fr people write her as a sweet little sunflower #she is sweet #but OMG LOOK #let her be mental #pandora rosier #pandora lovegood #slytherin skittles #marauders era #sirius black #james potter #harry potter #marauders #remus lupin #regulus black #evan rosier

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beanghostprincess · 3 months

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Silly goofy wild and funky idea:

Transman Crocodile who transitioned via Ivankov.

Cross Guild events and Cross Guild Poly where Buggy finally gets the nerve to come out to her two lieutenants and also boyfriends. Mihawk just blinks like "yes? Your Haki is distinctly feminine, so this makes perfect sense. Oh, dear why are you crying, stop that-" meanwhile Crocodile has to bite back every single we traded genders joke and instead just shrugs, going "I quite literally could not be paid to give a fuck. You know I'm bisexual, this changes little, Clown."

Croc does off hand offer to hook Buggy up with Iva if that's smth she's interested in, tho.

Meanwhile Sanji has come out to the Strawhats as a transwoman as well, and the reactions are much more dramatic but no less supportive - if anything, some may be too supportive /hj ((Franky calls her queen and sis and Hawt Mama, Chopper already began working on ways to synthesize estrogen Just In Case, Luffy could not be made to give a single fuck, Ussop is swooning, Zoro informs her that this changes nothing and he'll still kick her ass, Robin offers her congratulations, Nami is already mathing out adding another bed in the girls' room or making a room JUST for Sanji and Ussop to share, Brooke waits 0.006783259 seconds before asking to see undies, just everyone being supportive and stupid))

This leads to Ivankov getting two separate contacts for their services, and so they arrange to meet at a small-ish island to help both, two birds, one stone :)).

Both crews go full Spiderman meme when they come across each other, and Iva handles it with all the gentility of a bull in a china shop, whisking both ladies away while the rest are left just plain gaping and awkwardly avoiding eye contact or completely oblivious to the tension (cough cough LUFFY).

Insert your own silly ideas here, generally.

But when they come back, Mihawk, Crocodile and Ussop are all just absolutely SWOONING for different reasons, full of Respect Woman Juice and I Love My Wife energy, it's adorable and cute and funny.

((Bonus: Luffy calls Buggy auntie without hesitation, and she almost cries even as she punches him over the head))

THIS IS SO CUTE SELJKFNSFLEFNLNDFDLKNSDLK

Okay, so, my thoughts on this. Crocodile having to hold back the 'we traded genders' joke is so damn real and I laughed SO hard. Love him. So true. And transfem Buggy lives in my mind rent free so this is just perfect because I absolutely love her. She's my beloved. She'd be so anxious about it and cry and Mihawk and Crocodile are like-- So done with her because she's acting stupid and dramatic and of course they're going to still want her. And she's crying and they're rolling their eyes and patting her head at the same time. Poor thing. She needs comfort okay??

And,, Transfem Sanji coming out is always so beautiful in my head. She's been battling her gender issues for AGES and now she feels comfortable enough to come out to the crew. She's anxious but she knows she has to do this now or she never will. And it's-- It's so real to me. The way she would explain everything that happened to her back in Momoiro Island and then say that she's actually a girl. And everyone's quiet because they know she's looking at Luffy only right now, expecting an answer from her captain. And Luffy is just like "??? Okay? You're still my cook. So who cares? You seem happier now!" and that is when Sanji starts crying. Because of course she's crying. And of course, Usopp is the one to hug her first because that's his girlfriend and she needs a hug and forehead kisses right now. But they have 0 privacy because Luffy wants hugs too. I mean. Obviously.

Franky is loud af and he's SOBBING while he screams how proud he is of their cook (I've always said Franky feels like a girldad because just look at how he interacts with Nami. And he's sooooooooo loving Sanji right now). Robin would be so so proud too and would say she's happy for her and smile in the sweetest of ways (Robin please adopt me). I think Chopper would also ask a lot of questions before making estrogen, just in case, but then he'd go and try to make it right away. Nami hugs Sanji but the sweet moment doesn't last long because she's already telling Franky her ideas for a bigger, better room for the girls or!!! "Better!!!!!! A room for Sanji and Usopp so we don't have to deal with them!!!!!! But also make the girl's room bigger because I say so!!!!!!". Zoro says he doesn't give a fuck because he will still kick her ass but he's secretly happy that she looks more relaxed and comfortable in her skin. Brook is Brook and he says his Brook thing about panties but I think Sanji would kick him having the best gender affirmation moment of her fucking life. And Jinbe is just the cutest because I think he'd laugh at the chaotically sweet situation and say that strength comes from being happy with yourself and Sanji is the strongest for being so brave and true to herself (he be saying poetic and cute shit like that and he expects me not to absolutely love him. Dad behavior. I am SO sure he would beat the shit out of anybody who misgendered Sanji. But that's what any Strawhat would do, so,,,).

They go see Iva (Iva my beloved) and they're all,, So uncomfortable,, Buggy acts overconfident and says she's perfectly fine and not scared at all of what Iva's going to do to her body (liar. She's scared af and Crocodile and Mihawk know so they keep scaring her even more because it's funny to see their girlfriend crying. Look. The fact that they're soft and dating doesn't mean they're not gonna bully her). And Sanji has smoked like two fucking boxes of cigarettes already despite saying that she doesn't care about it (she has never been more excited in her entire life) and she's holding Usopp's hand so hard she's going to break it at some point. Anyway, Iva is a dramatic bitch and they make Sanji and Buggy come with them to a more private place because they want it to be a surprise for everyone (drama queen. Love them. I would do it too. Trust the process, girls, you're in good hands). So Cross Guild and the Strawhats end up alone and waiting for their girls to come back. And. Yeah. Uncomfortable. Zoro looks at Mihawk at some point and goes:

Zoro: I thought you were gay. Mihawk: I swing both ways. Usopp: Actually, you swing sword- Mihawk: Awful. Shut up. Don't ever speak to me again. Don't even look at my direction, actually. Roronoa, why is your crew like this? Zoro: It was really funny, though. Mihawk: I wish to not partake in this conversation anymore. Everyone just shut up and wait. ............. Luffy: Hey, guys, do you think Sanji's going to have bigger boobs than Zor- Nami: OH MY GOD LUFFY YOU CAN'T SAY THAT Luffy: BUT I'M CURIOUS Zoro: Yeah, she's going to ask for the biggest of boobs only to piss me off because she's annoying like that. Mihawk: Why would you even care about your breast size, Roronoa? Crocodile: Tsk. You care about mine. Usopp: OH MY GOD SJKFNSKDEWKFJNJKSFN

Okay, so Sanji and Buggy eventually come back. Finally. And they were gorgeous before but now they're even more beautiful because they actually look extremely happy with their bodies. I want to describe how I see them but just check @/vongulli's account and see their fem Buggy because she kills me every time and that's the only way I can see fem Buggy now. And Sanji to me looks like @/sibmakesart's fem Sanji. This artist made a nude fem Sanji not long ago and I loved it,, So much,, ANYWAY!!!!!! Getting carried away.. Thinking about women. It's not my fault I'm a lesbian. But they look perfect and they're comfortable and happy. And Sanji's boobs are surprisingly not huge and Zoro makes a comment about that but Sanji is like:

Sanji: WHAT????? YOU ONLY SEE ME AS A BOOB-OBSESSED GIRL OR WHAT? Literally everyone at the same time: Yes. Sanji: Well, for your information- Usopp: She likes thighs more Sanji: Usopp, don't tell them- Iva: And also, my dears, that is not how my power works Zoro: So you did ask for big boobs and you couldn't have them Sanji: I'm going to kill you and wearing heels it's going to hurt even more Usopp: Is it weird that I'm kind of turned on right now? Nami: ...Haha Usopp: Are you okay? Nami: Hey, Usopp, I- Usopp: You can't fuck her Nami: I swear I can't have anything!!! What do you have against lesbians??? Usopp: YOU WANT TO SLEEP WITH MY GIRLFRIEND WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY??? Nami: I dunno, yes??

Crocodile and Mihawk are having... A moment. They will still bully her and they're sure she's going to look extremely pretty crying and whining but right now she deserves to be worshipped because just look at her. Buggy approaches them and she's like "If you laugh I'm going to throw knives at you and then leave Cross Guild and!! And!! And I'm going to be really mad so pleasedon'tlaughireallylikethispleasedon'truinit" and they look at her with the fondest of looks (but gotta be honest, they're so horny right now it's unbearable. Like yes, happy wife happy home happy everything but also happy dick because just look at her). Crocodile is just frowning and genuinely asks "Why would we laugh? You look stunning, dear" and Mihawk follows with "I must say I'm not surprised, since you've always looked beautiful. But you look... More satisfied with yourself." And Buggy has to hold back the tears and that's why she starts saying things like "Pffft. Yeah! I knew I'd be gorgeous like this too! Now I look even flashier!" and y'know, the two men are letting her have her moment because now she looks even better and they can't stop staring at her. So maybe she's right this time when she fakes confidence.

Usopp and Nami need a second to process everything, I think. Also, they both hit Brook at the same time when he's about to ask Sanji the question™. Nami is having a lesbian moment, but of course Sanji realizes and does her Sanji thing like opening her mouth and speaking:

Sanji: Nami-swaaan!!! Do you like how I look now??? Nami, ignoring her and whispering to herself: Disgusting. I hate this. Zoro: At the end of the day it's just curly, huh? Nami: I was thinking with my dick. Zoro: Yeah. Happens. Been there.

So, Usopp and Sanji finally get their moment together because at least the Strawhats are respectful enough to give them their sweet uhhhh two minutes before they start complimenting Sanji. So that's something! Sanji is confident with her body but is a bit shy and isn't sure what Usopp will think about this. Not that she has changed much, even, but, you know. Just different. In a good way for her! But different. And Usopp approaches her slowly and smiling and he's just so so so happy. And he's like "You look gorgeous!" / "... Really? I wasn't sure whether you'd like it-" / "I will always like you! But more importantly, do you like you?" / "I mean- Weird phrasing, but yes. Yes? I think so. Yes." / "Then that's all that matters." And Sanji really, really doesn't want to cry because she has never cried in front of the whole crew. She just can't help it. But Usopp knows she doesn't like it when others see her cry so he quickly wipes her tears away and when she starts laughing (so so happy and full of love) Usopp just needs to kiss her.

Meanwhile, Luffy is there calling Buggy auntie and asking when she's going to tell Shanks about this. She keeps saying she will never tell him and if he wants to find out, he'll do it through her new wanted poster or whatever, but not from her.

#now this is what i call an amazing ask thank you SO much for this #i just loved writing this so much damn #they're all so silly #one piece #black leg sanji #transfem sanji #buggy the clown #transfem buggy #emporio ivankov #cross guild #strawhat pirates #just tagging the people who actually do stuff in this one bc too many characters and not enough energy #usopp #dracule mihawk #sir crocodile #roronoa zoro #cat burglar nami #monkey d. luffy #sanuso

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music-viber · 1 month

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Summary: You and your ex best friend reconnect at a secret Demi-god party literally.

Summer ended months ago and so did you friendship with your best friend Clarisse.

Warning: sexting,bullying,underage drinking,kissing,jealousy,toxic.

Friends to enemies

“Now we’re up against

The wall and she’s

calling me baby”

You were at school and you could’ve sworn it was the hottest day of the season

Odessa got a notification on her phone ( you’ve been invited to camp half blood celebration)

You had one thought “Those people will call anything a celebration” You raised your eyebrow as you read more into it. You did wanna catch up with your friends to gossip and talk shit after not seeing them for so long. But you didn’t wanna see…her

Last summer

Clarisse had been acting fidgety the whole morning

She only spoke to you once but it seemed like she was being distant the whole week. She’s been on her phone constantly sending selfies to whoever being all secretive. I walked in on her sending someone a picture of her in a bra that I gifted her because it suits her better. She brushed off the topic just saying she was sexting a guy from her school and that I should drop the whole thing.

Weirdo.

You guys were at breakfast when she suddenly checked her watch looking straight at you looking guilty. “I’m gonna be right back, the food is passing right through me.” She said looking at our friend group.

“Do you want me to come wait with you?” I offered

“No, I’m fine go back to eating or something fatty.”

She always made jokes with the girl but this one seemed more personal because she didn’t laugh as she usually did after. I put my breadstick down and stared at her in disbelief as she walked away and out of the dining hall. “I wonder Who’s up her ass today,” I say but it’s inaudible to others. I moved my food away from me and sat there looking at my other friends. I’m fucking hungry and she ruined it.

Then I decided I’d had enough of her odd behavior and I was gonna tell her to fuck off. I looked over at my distracted friends who were watching some new boy named Percy, “Guys I’m gonna go catch up with Clarisse.” One of them spoke “Yeah sounds good” They were just distracted by him so I left.

Odessa walked out of I dining hall and looked around for Clarisse as she saw Clarisse about to enter the wooded area looking to see if anyone saw her Odessa hit behind a cabin. “Where is she going?”

Clarisse entered the woods looking sketchy as hell

I followed behind her closely as she looked paranoid she walked for 5 minutes and then suddenly stopped in an empty area I hid behind a bolder as she just stood there looking at her watch. I quickly got tired of being hidden so I wanted to just get up and talk to her but that’s when a familiar boy walks towards her. “That’s my fucking ex,” I whispered under my breath. Clarisse smiled at the boy “Took you long enough.” She walked towards him. Odessa wanted to scoff at this interaction but remained quiet. There was no way in hell her best friend would’ve snuck off to see her ex behind her back

They had been best friends since they were kids there’s no way in hell that Clarisse would do anything to disobey her friend's trust like that.

Then she watched as their lips connected.

“Oh” she whispered under her breath.

My Clarisse with Luke castellan . I hated them both.

Things escalated quickly when their camp shirts were thrown across the ground. If felt wrong to stay even if it was an act she felt was against her. Clarisse had her legs wrapped around Luke’s torso as they made out

“Tell me I’m better than her” Clarisse had told the boy to say. Luke smiles “You better than Odessa,” he says breathlessly

Odessa had had enough and snuck out of her spot and carefully walked towards their shirts taking them and crawling away from the area heading back towards the camp. The girl had thrown their shirts in the ocean, watching as they floated away.

She couldn’t believe what she just saw. She wasn’t shocked just disappointed in her best friend. Out of all the guys at camp, why did it have to be her ex-boyfriend and her Clarisse? “Fuck this feeling.”

She wiped her tears and fixed her face to go into act two Playing dumb. She walked back into the dining hall and towards their friend group. She put on a fake worried look. “Guys I think something happened with Clarisse she isn’t back yet, I went to go look for her but I can’t find her. I said fake panicked. My performance got the attention of the group. The friend group told everyone to go around camp and look for Clarisse. They listened. It was a lost camper after all just sat outside near the campfire while people comforted me as I put on my pretended to be in distress. They said things like like. “Don’t worry we will find her” “I bet she’s gonna turn up” or “We know how much she means to you” She doesn’t mean jack shit anymore, all those years of friendship are over.

I turned to look over at a stressed topless Clarisse coming out of the woods others stopped their search. others ran over as she covered her chest with her arms “Clarisse what happened are you okay?” I hear them say. “I just stood there in front of her quietly. I have nothing to say to her.

She finally spoke after 10 questions “I’m fine does anyone have an extra shirt?” Our friends run into a cabin and get her one. “Did you enjoy it?” I whispered to her while people were distracted. “What?” She said a bit worried as if I knew something. Our friends came back to hand her a shirt. She put it on Luke came out of the woods. That’s when people whispered and stepped back.

Luke then spoke “she got lost I was helping her?” He states “bullshit.” I say at pointing at him people then put two and two together “oh did you guys just…” another councilor asks. “That’s like kinda evil.” Another person states. I looked the girl dead in her face “You are dead to me.” I stormed away into the Aphrodite cabin. I didn’t talk to her for the remainder of camp.

Our friend group forgave her after a while because they felt bad, but then again it wasn't their exes she hooked up with so I didn't blame them

Months later and a new summer is about to start I texted my friends that I was going to the party

I needed to get out more anyway I don’t care if Clarisse la rue had been there she wouldn’t be the reason I chose to stay inside for the rest of my life because she was a backstabbing two-faced-

Odessa walked through the doors for the party the first thing that was seen was two guys sword-fighting for a bag of Sour Patch Kids. The girl rolled her eyes and went to find her friends. She saw people looking at her from the corner of her eyes she was stunning and she knew it too. Her too was a cropped black top that almost looked like a bra with some dark blue low-rise jeans showing off her hips perfectly with some fuzzy black boots matching her top. Her hair was done into a bun with a side swoop with curly pieces falling in front of her face

She don’t bring a bag because 1. Things get stolen

2. She only needed her phone with was in her pocket.

Her lip combo was pink with red lip liner and some cute lashes/mascara she smelled amazing from using her strawberry body oil from TikTok shop.😏

She looked hot like always all she was missing was her friend group *she found them doing shots in the kitchen one by one in a contest she looked down the line of people laughing at how silly they looked

Then her eyes met hers for the first time in months

The curly-haired girl was also watching their friends from across the counter but now her eyes were on you. Looking into your soul as if she knew what was behind it. You returned the favor staring straight at her. She started to look at what you were wearing her eyebrows knitted at your shirt as she walked towards you “What the hell are you wearing” she laughed. You gave her a bitchy look “I took inspiration from you” Odessa said smiling in her face. Clarisse was confused but then remembered the day they stopped being friends. Clarisse scoffed “I think I wore that bra a bit better than you huh?” Clarisse said referring to the time you gifted her a bra set that she wore for your ex. That’s when Luke came up behind her handing her a drink. You weren’t jealous you could never be jealous… as if could ever be… Jealous. Odessa scrunched her nose. “How cute, I’m gonna go barf now” she indicated as she pretended to put her finger down her throat walking off as she made eye contact with The other woman who was just in front of her face

Hours into the party everyone was either buzzed or drunk people ate like there was no tomorrow. Odessa’s friends handed her a vape but she declined knowing it would lead to her being hungry. She didn’t want to eat too much knowing her stomach was out in the open. She started to worry about her weight after Clarisse had made comments when they were friends. She then took out her phone and opened a notification from a random Snapchat user she added earlier. Spiteful_goddess. She opened the snap from them which read “Meet me in the bathroom” showing a picture of a bathroom from the second floor. Her friend Annabeth looked over at her phone “That could either be a serial killer or a hot hookup waiting to happen.” You looked at her confused “Is there no in-between?” You ask “No.” She said leaning back as she ate a slice of pizza. “Well, I trust you to tell my story? Of how I lived a good life and all that” you tell her walking away to find whoever sent you the text

You heard a group of guys whistle when you walked up the stairs and ignored them all guys are pigs

You asked the person to send another snap of the bathroom because there were about 3 upstairs you spot one of your friends making out with her boyfriend and going into one of the bathrooms.

“Not that one.” You got a notification on your phone looking as you saw the bathroom was connected to a bedroom you walked into the only one open and looked for the bathroom. She then opened to door slowly half expecting to get stabbed. She looked around the dark bathroom confused

She turned on the light to find a gorgeous girl sitting on the countertop of the sink. A voice spoke to her “Hey bestie”

You weren’t surprised only someone obsessed with you would make a whole new Snapchat account and make you chase them around a house of drunk horny teenagers. She hopped off the counter and shut the door behind you to keep you from running off. You stare at her blankly. “Clarisse did you wanna check up on me and see if I had another ex you can steal or?”

I asked her sassily. She rolled her eyes “Listen I get it what I did was shitty but you don’t get it Odessa.” She said as if she had the right. Now she was making me mad “ I don’t get what? you backstabbing me? Because you’re fucking right I don’t get it!” I yelled in her face “People use to compare us 24/7 I got tired of it it was always, Odessa is better than Clarisse at this or even Odessa has a better this and all that bullshit” she yelled back “So yeah maybe I hooked up with your ex just to see if I was better than you in some ways than others, so forgive me for trying something new” she continued.

I gave her the most unapologetically pleasing face “ You can try new anywhere with anyone and chose fucking Luke? Why? What did I ever do to make you hate me?” Tears threatened to leave the girls eyes as she yelled at Clarisse again. “He always praised you like you were his most prized possession. “I wanted something like that.” Clarisse said softly. “Something like what?” You asked her she looked you straight in your face “Something like you… a prized possession” At this point she backed you into the wall her hand on your hip and the other reaching towards your phone. “What are you doing?” Odessa asked the girl. Clarisse grabbed your phone and set it on the counter looking back at you. She wiped your tears and kept her hands on your face “I know you saw us in the woods the day.” She stared into her eyes “I’m not mad about the shirt thing either. And I’m sorry for what I did to you… to us and our friendship.”

“I just don’t know how to handle my feelings towards you and I come up with dumb shitty ideas that are not right in any way whatsoever,” she says

You look at her in shock “Did Clarisse la rue just apologize to someone?” You ask. She looked at you seriously “She did.” She looked at her eyes “Are you drunk?” You ask in a hushed tone. Clarisse looked at your lips then your eyes “No.” Her hands brush your hair out of your face as she leans in to kiss you. It was a passionate kiss she held you like she never wanted to let go and this would be the last time ever she would have to touch you again. She wanted to make it last. She moves her leg towards the girl's heat, not breaking the kiss. Odessa gasped allowing access for Clarisse to slip her tongue in •

She felt intoxicated by the kiss moving her hands to rummage through the other girl's hair and pulling it Clarisse let out a breathy moan Clarisse pressed her leg harder against the girl's heat as she did this Odessa let out a quiet moan As they kissed and fought for dominance. Odessa opened the bathroom door leading them into the bedroom the fell onto the bed breaking the kiss Odessa was straddling Clarisse looking down at her

As they reconnect lips the door bursts open a random guy enters “PARTYS BEING RAIDED” he yelled as he ran out of the room. Both girls looked at each other confused as they looked in the hallway of people running wild trying to either hide or get out of the house. I grabbed Clarisse's hand “We should leave.” They Ran out of the room and through the back door pushing through drunk teens yelling that the police were outside they laughed as they made it out and a block down, Still holding hands.

“That was a shit show” Clarisse says

“You’re my shit show” Odessa replies

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