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#but I’m already so grateful reading through everything!
greg-montgomery · 2 days
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Dreamy:
you can feel yourself kicking, your breaths sharp and ragged as you’re trying and trying to run away but you feel trapped, your sheets are holding you firmly to your mattress like iron bars. You’re trying to scream for your life as your efforts to run away are failing you and the source of all of your terror is only getting closer. Your voice comes out in nothing more than a silent rasping scream as you feel your heart hammering in your chest.
You’re awoken by two warm hands with a touch so gentle yet firm that you feel a sense of familiarity flood your overwhelmed mind as they take you by the shoulders. you’re being pulled into a big warm pillowy chest as a voice cuts through the eerie sounds swarming your mind. “I’m here.”; the voice is saying. “Right here.” As the two strong arms circle your back and pull you in even closer, where you can hear the sound of his heartbeat, loud and steady and unwavering as his voice keeps rumbling through his chest, soaked with your tears. You feel the darkness of your mind slipping away as it’s replaced with warmth and the welcoming embrace of your safety, your Aaron.
“It’s okay, sweetheart. Nothing can hurt you. It’s just me.” you finally feel your control over your body returning as your hands come up to ball his soft cotton, tear-stained shirt in your fists. His hand combs through your hair, your mind relaxing as his nails graze your scalp. A gentle kiss lands on your hairline and you let out a shuddering breath you had been holding ever since that awful beast had laid its eyes on you.
“are we home, Aaron? safe?” you look up at him in the pale moonlight with your big wet eyes, lip shaking as you plead with him to remind you where you both are, that you’re not in danger.
“Yes, honey, we’re home, safe and sound. In our bed. The doors are locked and the alarm is set. We’re safe, baby.” you can only nod at him as you’re reminded that your boyfriend is easily the single most paranoid and considerate, protective person you’ve ever known. He would walk the ends of the earth to know that you could close your eyes and not feel preyed upon. “I can go and triple check all of the windows? And Jack’s room, if you want. I’ll only be gone a minute?” The uncertainty in Aaron’s voice triggers you to realise you forgot to reply to him.
“No, thank you bear. I’m okay. Please just stay with me?” His eyes light up at your nickname and he inches even closer to you with the tiniest smile on his face as he says “of course. As if I’d want to be anywhere else.”
You look into the eyes of the man who manages to pull you back from every situation and relight the sparkle in your eyes, as you notice a similar light burning in his own. He really is dreamy, and just the person you need to remind you everything is okay.
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rome…if i say i adore you it won’t be enough. but you already know it <333
the comfort this has brought me 🥺🥺🥺🥺 and the way i’m gonna read it every time i wake up from a nightmare or just when i need aaron here :((( i love you so much 😭😭 and i could never express just how grateful i am for you 😭😭🩷🩷🫂 okay i’m gonna bother you in your dms now 🤗
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evansbby · 10 months
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Not me continuously refreshing my notifs for feedback
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perlelune · 5 months
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NDA | Coriolanus Snow
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When you get hired as a nanny for President Snow and his wife's firstborn, you’re beyond thrilled and grateful. But quickly, the perfect facade melts, revealing the ugly truth of what actually goes on in the Snows' house.
Warnings: NON-CON, Capitol! Reader, Innocent Reader, Cheating, Coercion, Blackmail, Power Imbalance
This is a dark story. Heed warnings before reading under the cut.
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Your worried eyes track the frenzied glide of the woman’s quill over the notepad. You squint, hoping to discern some of the words she’s scrawling that way, but they are indiscernible…just like the stone-cold expression of the bespectacled woman on the other side of the desk.
She catches you trying to peek. Your heart jumps.
As her sharp green gaze zeroes in on you, you clear your throat and shift in your seat.
She puts her quill down and twines her fingers.
“So what do you think sets you apart  from the other applicants?”
You chew on your lip. When you arrived to offer your candidature this morning, you naively believed you’d be early. Instead, you were forced to join the tail end of the massive waiting line stretching far outside the Snows’ estate. It didn’t hit you before that moment, how prized the position is. Each of the women and girls you saw radiated excellent breeding and impeccable manners. Many probably attended the University and could double as a tutor if the need presents itself.
This isn’t your case. Your parents left you and your brother Laertes with nothing when they suddenly passed away in a rebel bombing. You couldn’t blame them. This wasn't the plan. Who plans on dying and leaving their two children to fend for themselves?
Still, you now have a list of bills the length of your arm coupled with a massive mortgage to pay every month. And as Laertes’ sole caretaker, you must ensure you can afford to send him to University once he completes his education in the Academy.
Circumstances denied you that chance. Despite being of university’s age, you couldn’t afford the cost of tuition and had to drop out as soon as you got accepted. You want better for your little brother.
So as soon as you heard the news that President Snow and First Lady Livia Cardew were in search of a nanny for their son Martius, you jumped on the opportunity to apply. You rose before the sun, rummaged through your mother’s closet to find her best dress, and hailed a car to come here.
It’s a long shot, of course. You’re not as polished and impressive as some of the other women. You’re also noticeably younger. But the wages promised alone compelled you to take a chance despite the odds being unfavorable.
Fiddling with your hands, you meet the woman’s impassive stare head-on.
“What sets me apart?” You mull over your answer. You could paint a false, august portrait of yourself, your skills and your accomplishments. Or try to at least.
But what would be the point of pretending to be someone you’re not only to be found out later on? So you elect to tread the path of honesty.
“Nothing,” you say. “But I’m a hard worker. A very hard worker. In fact, I already have three jobs, one at a bakery, another as a clerk in an antique shop and I assist Fabricia Whatnot at her boutique sometimes.” Panic quivers inside you as the woman quickly jots something down on her notepad. You swiftly specify, “...But I’ll quit all of them if I get the position, of course.” You lick your lips as knots tie your stomach. “I can learn everything there is to learn on the spot. I love children, and…” You trail off, gaze traveling to your lap as you muse if you should reveal more. Your fists clench as you add, “I have a little brother who’s a few years older than Martius, and I’m really hoping I get this opportunity so I can give him the life he deserves.”
An unnerving quiet occupies the air. The wait is agony, your nails digging painfully into your palms. The jagged drumming of your heart bleeds inside your ears as she studies you.
Eventually, she leans back in the velvet chair, her face betraying no thought or emotion.
“You’re dismissed,” she says.
Your heart plummets to your feet. You shakily rise, dispirited as you drag your heels towards the door. You steal a glance above your shoulder. The woman’s attention has already drifted away from you as she shouts for the next applicant.
You sourly exit the office. You try to swallow your dejection as you note how many women are still waiting in line, each of them likely more qualified and experienced. It’s obvious you tanked the interview. Shoulders slumping, you take resigned steps through the elegant, palatial hallways of the Snow’s mansion. You get lost in admiring the crystal and gold chandeliers hanging from the high ceilings. There isn’t an inch of the house that doesn’t scream excessive, unattainable wealth.
You take your time soaking it in. Chances are you’ll never step foot in such a place in your lifetime ever again.
Distracted, you don’t notice the person in front of you before it’s too late. You bump straight into a hard, inflexible body. 
The sudden collision threatens your balance.
Fingers coil around your wrists as you stagger back, preventing your impending collapse onto the marbled floor.
As your attention drifts skywards, your jaw drops at who fills your vision.
“P-President Snow, my deepest apologies, s-sir,” you stammer, flames licking your cheeks.
As if you didn’t make yourself look dimwitted enough before, you now carelessly crashed into the leader of all of Panem. Just when you thought the day couldn’t possibly get worse.
You take him in. It truly is him. Shock fills you. 
 Tall and dazzling in a crisp white shirt and crimson vest that hints at his lean physique beneath the clothes, his signature blond waves slicked away from his face, he looks every bit the important figure that he is.
The flickering TV screen you own at home doesn’t do him justice.
A gentle smirk unfurls on his lips.
“It’s quite alright. I’m not made of sugar,” he jests.
“No…you’re not, your highness…majesty...I mean sir.”
Your blunder expands his smile. His cerulean gaze drags over your frame.
“Are you here for the nursemaid position?”
“I am, sir.” You unleash a deep exhale, his inquiry tossing salt on the fresh wound. The interviewer clearly wasn’t impressed by your less than stellar performance. Maybe you should have tried to mimic the way the girls with whom you attended the Academy behave more. They carry themselves with such confidence, wading through the world with the certainty of their destinies being secure, bereft of hardships unlike district dwellers.
You envy how carefree they get to be. Everyday you wake up worried you’ll come up short on a bill and you and Laertes will be forced to leave your family home. No matter how diligent you are at work, there never seems to be enough money to sustain the two of you. Even with three jobs, you’re barely eking out a decent living for you and your little brother. Many times, you’ve gone to bed hungry just so Laertes would not.
You don’t even realize tears have filled your eyes to the brim until a handkerchief is daintily pressed into your cheeks.
Flabbergasted, you blink up at President Snow. 
“Thank you,” you exhale, stunned by his kind gesture.
“What’s the matter?” he asks.
You search his eyes. Genuine interest lights up his pellucid blue orbs.
Without much thought, you confess, “I just don’t think I did very well with my interview.”
As he scrutinizes you in silence, cocking his head sideways, embarrassment rushes through you.
Words anxiously leave your lips in a tremulous string.
“God, I’m so sorry, spilling my problems to you as if you’re not an extremely busy man, sir.”
He shakes his head. “It’s quite alright. And do not count yourself defeated, sweetheart.” Your pulse stutters when he bends over you to whisper, “You may have left a stronger impression than you think.”
He nudges the pocket square between your hands. It’s still damp with your tears. You gape at it in awe. President Snow’s initials are elegantly etched in the left corner of the fabric.
“Here. Keep it. Though I’d much prefer it if you didn’t cry.” He pauses, studying you. “Girls as lovely as you never should.”
His words send your heart into a frenzy. For a while, you’re too stunned to move. You then shake yourself back to reality, noticing you’re now staring at the empty space where he used to stand. He’s gone. You look ahead. He’s already miles away from you, wrapped in conversation with who seems to be an assistant of his. 
Your thumbs press against the soft fabric of the pocket square. Cheeks ablaze, you hold it to your nose. It smells like roses, the same delicate scent that wafted from him a few minutes ago. Your back prickles. You pivot and are astonished to find the envious glares of some of the applicants still waiting in line zeroed in on you. Self-conscious, you rush to continue your exit, fleeing away from the hateful stares. 
As the outside gates come into sight, you can’t suppress an elated smile. It’s not everyday someone meets President Snow and receives such a gift from him. Shoving the handkerchief in your pocket, you vow to place it somewhere safe and always cherish it. 
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When you return home, your brother’s already sitting in the living room, his tiny brows scrunched in concentration and his nose buried in his books. Your stomach sinks. Everything you did today was for him. You can’t help but feel you missed out on a huge opportunity, one that’d have changed the course of his life forever. You glance around at the apartment. The walls are crumbling. The wooden floors are creaking. The pipes in the kitchen have been leaking for weeks, a measly bucket you must empty every morning the only thing preventing a flood. And at night, the pitter-patter of rodents’ paws resonates from the ceiling.
Every inch of your family home is in dire need of repairs.
Unfortunately, every penny you earn goes into rent and food, meaning the house falls apart a bit more everyday. Perhaps one day, you and Laertes will awake beneath the rubble of what’s left of your childhood home. Nightmares of that sometimes keep you up at night.
“How was the Academy today?” you chime, rummaging through the kitchen cabinets. Worry twists your chest. There isn’t much left. You’ll need to make do with cabbage and whatever other veggies are left. Perhaps you could toss in some leftover dried meat and make a stew.
“My teacher signed me up for advanced trigonometry,” your brother announces.
You close the cabinet and beam at him.
“Oh, that sounds hard. I’m proud of you.” It doesn’t exactly surprise you. Laertes’ always been exceptionally smart. Even his teachers noticed how gifted he is from an early age. Unlike you, he breezed through middle school and now the Academy.
It’s why it’s crucial you make sure he can go to the University. A mind like his shouldn’t be wasted.
You brother shrugs, exuding nonchalance.
“It’s fine.”
You rush to him. You wrap your arm around him playfully and hug him in his chair, pulling his cheek like when he was little. You know he hates when you do that but you can’t help teasing him a bit. It’s your duty as a big sister after all.
“Don’t downplay it. My little brother’s a genius.”
He wriggles his way out of the hug, rolling his eyes. 
“Stop it.”
You head back to the kitchen and fire the stove.
“I’ll make you something,” you say, smiling at your brother.
His brows knit. “Make something for yourself first.”
You nibble your bottom lip. You truly hoped he wouldn’t notice, how much smaller than his your portions are. But he’s growing; he needs it. Much more than you. Besides, how can he focus at the Academy and be the brilliant boy he is supposed to be with a growling stomach? You won’t allow it.
“Laertes…”
He shakes his head, his expression firm.
“No. You always do this. This time, we split whatever is left.”
Heaving out a resigned exhale, you nod. You whirl to resume preparing dinner.
You gather a boiling pot from the overhead cabinet and place it on the stove. With the ease of practice, you begin chopping vegetables and tossing them into the pot. You add spices and water. The mouthwatering aroma quickly fills the kitchen. Pride swells in your chest. Your cooking skills have improved so much in the last year since your parents passed. You now manage to bring flavor to the blandest of meals. 
Once the stew’s ready, you pour a portion in each bowl, putting just a little more in your brother’s and praying he will not notice.
You place the steaming bowls on the table and take a seat opposite him.
“No books at the dining table,” you admonish, mimicking the exact tone your mother used with your brother. Admitting defeat, Laertes sighs and sets his homework aside. The tiny victory tugs your lips skyward.
He tells you about his day at the Academy while the two of you eat. You’re delighted to hear he’s making a lot of friends and he’s at the top of his class for most science subjects. He’s struggling a bit more with his poetry and ethics classes, but you encourage him by reminding him he can just ask the teacher for extra assignments to keep his grade up.
“I interviewed for a new job today,” you reveal, stirring the spoon in your bowl while waiting for your brother to eat more of his food.
“How did it go?”
“Well, it pays really well so I’m hopeful.”
The hope dancing in his eyes makes your chest ache. You don’t have the heart to tell him you made a fool of yourself today. You may not be gifted like your brother, but you want him to know he can rely on you at least.
Pursing his mouth, he looks down at his stew.
“That’s great. It’d be good if you didn’t have to work as much.”
Your smile falters. “Don’t worry. I have everything under control.”
“Okay.”
His dour tone stirs your concern. You wish you were better at hiding things from him, making his childhood as normal as possible. But your brother’s twelve now, and that’s old enough to sense when things are wrong.
He rises from his seat. You frown as you note there’s still food left in his bowl.
“Finish your plate before going to your room.”
Annoyance pinches his features but he still picks up his bowl and hastily guzzles down the remainder of his stew.
“Happy now?” he says, wiping his mouth.
“Yes. Very,” you cheerfully respond.
He gathers his books and strides towards his room. 
Your voice rises.
“Don’t stay up too late to study, okay? I love you.”
“I…love you too,” he mumbles.
You bask in the moment as you clean the table. Thankfully Laertes is still at an age where he says it back. One day he might not. So you must cherish every instant. Every conversation, every hug, every ‘I love you’. Because it could all vanish in a second. You learned that the hard way a year ago.
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The day of the interview recedes to the back of your mind as you keep living your life. Work is harrowing, as usual, but you tend to your tasks as best as you can. Your arms ache as you knead the dough in the back of the bakery. You give yourself a second to wipe the sweat off your forehead. It’s been a hectic afternoon. There’s a massive pastry order for some Capitol heiress’ birthday due tomorrow. So you’ve been racing between the front desk and the kitchen in the back. A baker called in sick today, leaving you with twice the workload.
You know it won’t take much to crash into your bed and fall asleep tonight.
To make matters worse, the day hits its nadir when you get your pay that day. You peer inside the envelope for the umpteenth time. An anxious chuckle peals out of your lips. 
“I’m sorry I don’t want to complain, but…this doesn’t match the hours I put in.”
The owner scratches the back of his neck, a contrite expression etched on his face.
“I’m sorry too. With the new taxes imposed by the Capitol, I had to cut your salary.”
Slack-jawed by the news, no word leaves your mouth as you stare at him. He sighs.
“If it’s a problem, we can find someone else-”
“No, no,” you interrupt, blinking in panic. “Please, I need this job.”
He acquiesces and you’re forced to thank him despite feeling cheated. You actually scaled back your hours for your other part-times since this one paid more. What a waste. 
Dispirited, you return home. As you give the driver a bill for the fare, your insides wrench. Every bill counts. Perhaps you’ll need to walk back home from now on. The streets of the Capitol are notoriously dangerous but you can’t see any other way to save your dwindling wages. You already know you’ll need to request an extension for rent this month. How will you pay it, however?
You suppose you’ll have to figure it out. You always figure it out.
These are the somber thoughts swaying in your mind as you check the mailbox. 
Bills. Bills. And more bills. Your already sour mood plummets even more. But a slim, silver envelope sticking out from the pile corrals your focus. Curiosity surges inside you. It looks fancy and there’s a wax seal with the Capitol’s symbol keeping it shut. You rush to open it, heart fluttering in strange anticipation.
You unfold the neatly folded letter inside. As you read the words, you gasp, dropping the letter. Still trembling from shock and excitement, you bend to pick it up. 
You take a deep slow breath before reading it again. 
This time, a squeal escapes from your lips. 
You read it many more times to make sure your eyes aren’t just conjuring wild fantasies. 
After a while, you realize they aren’t. It’s true. 
Holding the letter to your chest, you toss yourself on your bed and kick your feet excitedly. 
You then place your palm on your forehead. In disbelief, you beam at the ceiling. 
Somehow…you’ve been hired to work for the Snows. You actually got the job. 
Perhaps there is light at the end of the tunnel.
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You fidget before the iron gates, smoothing absent wrinkles on your skirt. It’s one of the best outfits you could find on short notice that wasn’t moth-eaten or visibly overworn. You pray it’s enough. You let your gaze wander. The Snows’ estate truly is majestic. The lush gardens. The beautiful architecture. You feel a little small as you admire the mansion.
Remembering yourself, you pivot to the man who drove you there. You fish inside your pocket for a bill and hand it to him. He stares at you blankly from the driver’s seat.
A weary sigh ripples behind you.
You turn, your eyes widening. It’s the woman who interviewed you that day. She wears the same stern expression.
“You don’t need to pay him,” she explains, dismissing the man with her hand. He nods and drives away. “He’s your assigned driver. He’ll pick you up each day and take you back home.”
“Oh.” You offer your hand. “Nice to meet you…again.”
She gives you a lengthy onceover, completely ignoring your gesture. Then she motions at you to follow her. You let your hand fall to your side. Heat blooms in your cheeks. Perhaps, you were too enthusiastic just then. Straightening your spine, you try your best to keep pace with her quick strides.
“I’m Pandora. I supervise most housekeeping duties for the president. I’ll show you around the estate. Then you’ll meet the young Master.”
She gives you a tour of the mansion. You’re even more amazed than last time though you try to suppress your awe and not stare excessively. She shows you the garden as well. The sea of snow-white roses makes your head spin. She specifies that the only part of the house that is off-limits is the west wing of the mansion, as these are the First Lady’s apartments and she must have rest and quiet.
She ends the visit by taking you to the nursery. A smile spontaneously finds its way onto your lips. A toddler plays with his toy train on the floor. With his blonde curls and bright blue eyes, he bears a striking resemblance to his father.
“That’s him? He’s so cute,” you whisper. Even the stern woman’s expression thaws a little as she looks at the child, softening ever-so-slightly. You send her a questioning glance. She gives you a nod of approval. 
You approach the boy and crouch in front of him.
“Hi. You’re Martius, right?”
He lifts his head and beams at you. You’re immediately endeared. Again, his smile reminds you of President Snow. You suppose one could probably take over the world with a smile like that. 
You turn to Pandora.
“Is his mother around? I should probably introduce myself.”
Her face pinches. “Mistress Livia has been unwell as of late. She is not to be disturbed today as she is quite tired.”
“Of course.” Your lips squeeze shut for a few seconds but curiosity gets the better of you. A question burns on your lips, one that nagged you ever since you got the job. It slips out before you can think it through. “Is this…Is this why the president and his wife require a nanny? The First Lady is sick?”
Pandora glowers at you. You flinch as she steps further inside the room, her searing tone like a whip.
“You are here to do your job, and nothing else. Mistress Livia’s health is no concern of yours. Do you hear me?”
You rise on shaky feet. You forgot yourself.
“I-I understand. I’m sorry I asked.”
“This reminds me. You have to sign this,” she says, handing you a pen and clipboard. A thin stack of papers are attached to the clipboard. The front page spells ‘Non-Disclosure Agreement’ in bold letters at the very top. You scowl as you flip through the pages.
“What’s that?”
“It’s a contract, one signed by every one of the President’s employees.”
“I don’t understand most of what’s written here…”
A frustrated exhale peals from her lips.
“I’ll make it simple for you then. For the duration of your employment here, nothing you see or hear must ever leave this house. You are here to care for the young master, that is all. Nothing else should concern you. Is that clear enough?”
You swallow thickly. It doesn’t sound hard at all. Discretion is essential in every job, isn’t it? But the way Pandora makes it sound, you’d assume there are bodies buried beneath the Snows’ estate. You’d laugh if her death stare weren’t so disquieting.
You peruse the contract, perplexed by most of the legal mumbo jumbo filling the pages. None of it rings any bell. You understand the gist of it however. You must preserve the president and his wife’s privacy. While you don’t know the specifics of the first lady’s condition, her public appearances have been few and far between in the last few years.
She used to be the envy of every woman in the Capitol. Beautiful, young and married to the dashing President Snow.
She was a fairytale princess come to life.
Then their son Martius was born. And when they held him up from the balcony of their mansion for all of Panem to gaze upon, they truly seemed like the perfect family.
Until one day, Livia Cardew simply…vanished.
She was noticeably absent from all the events of the season, some she even hosted herself. Tongues wagged of course, rumors and wild theories spreading like wildfire. 
But no one knew the truth of what had happened to her.
The matter seems delicate. You promise yourself not to bring it up again.
You click the pen and scribble your name at the bottom of the very last page.
“I’ve…never signed a contract like that before starting a job.”
Pandora lets out a wry chuckle.
“Well, you’ve never worked for President Snow.”
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As promised, you quit your two other jobs to focus solely on Martius. You’re hesitant at first. Your departed parents taught you never to put all your eggs in one basket. And it’s exactly what you’d be doing by trusting the Snows. But when you receive your first paycheck, long before the end of the week, every qualm you had fades. It’s more money than you’ve ever had, more money than you expected. Rent isn’t an issue anymore. Neither is food.
Besides, gifts keep coming from the estate. Clothes mostly, for both you and Laertes, but also jewelry, perfume and other fancy things you don’t need. Overwhelmed by President Snow’s generosity, you try to send some of it back, but you don’t have the heart to return everything when you see your brother’s happy face when he opens his wardrobe one day.
You’ve caught the self-conscious glimpses he casts at his classmates sometimes, when not wearing the Academy uniform. Their clothes are always brand new and custom, perfectly tailored while his are stitched back together by your clumsy hands whenever they fray at the seams. You’re not a seamstress but you’ve always done your best. But you know your best doesn’t compare to the access and privilege those kids have.
Other than those blessings, your time with Martius has been a breeze. Only hazy memories of your brother as a toddler linger in your mind, but you don’t recall him ever being as sweet and calm as the little boy is.
It hardly feels like work, caring for the small child. You spend the day playing along with his games, reading stories to him and, as the day nears its end, the two of you feed the ducks in the massive pond behind the mansion. He even gives them names and gets upset when they fight with each other. 
“Lily doesn’t like James anymore,” he whispers to you one day, a sullen pout scrunching his tiny features. 
“And why is that?”
“I think she’s angry that he steals her food.”
You chuckle and ruffle his golden locks. The little boy always has a story for everything he sees. At all times, his world must make sense. So if he cannot find a reason to explain what fills his gaze, he’ll weave a tale that matches it. His stories are each more wild than the other and he sometimes utters words you’ve never heard a four year old use.
But you surmise it is expected from the son of the president. When he isn’t with you, the little boy is often with his private tutor. Even at his tender age, the importance of manners and eloquence is impressed upon him.
Martius tugs at your skirt when you make your way to the door. You look down. His blue eyes are pleading. 
“You’re leaving again?”
You heave out a long exhale. The little boy wasn’t so clingy before but with your bond growing, he’s been expressing more sadness from watching you go at the end of every day. 
You hunker down to his level.
“My little brother’s expecting me.”
His forehead puckers. “Stay…”
“I told you before, Martius. I have a brother. He’ll miss me if I’m not here.”
“Okay,” he mumbles, giving a begrudging nod. Tears already swim in his eyes though. Panic flows through you. You didn’t want to upset him. You pick him up and bounce with him in your arms to try to soothe him.
“Oh, no. Don’t cry, sweetie.” He buries his head in the crook of your neck, nearly squeezing you to death when he wraps his arms around your neck. His loud, tearful sobs swell in the room. “Hey, it’s okay. I’ll see you tomorrow like always, okay? So I need you to be brave for me.” His grip on you loosens as he sniffles. You put him down and the two of you pinky promise that you’ll return. Your heart twists at the sight of his tear-stained little face. 
You give his hair one last affectionate pat before rushing outside. If you stay, he might throw another tantrum. No matter what, you can never get mad at Martius. He’s just a child. In the absence of his mother, he’s bound to grow attached to any woman filling a role adjacent to hers. You loathe that you’re taking those moments from the first lady. Though it pleases you to have a steady job and spend time with the sweet boy, it feels wrong that she isn’t there. She should get to see her baby grow up. She should hear his inane ramblings and eccentric stories.
As time wears on, you’re dying to meet her and tell her about Martius. Is she truly so sick that she can’t even see him for a mere few minutes? You’re itching to break the rules and visit the west wing of the mansion. Sometimes you hear blood-curdling  screams and wailing coming from the dark halls but you never dared venture through them. You know that if you did, Pandora would crucify you.
Laertes’ well-being matters more than your curiosity.
Humming absently, you halt in your tracks in the middle of a hallway. Confusion has you blinking. A peculiar noise bounces faintly against the walls. Your gaze drifts sideways, where the noise seems to come from. You’re clocking out. Whatever’s going on in the house isn’t any of your business at this hour.
But what if someone needs help? What if it’s something bad? You’d feel awful if you learnt something happened the next day and you pretended to ignore it. So you gingerly approach the wall. Your fingers graze the tapestry covering it. 
Your eyes widen when the wall moves, a tiny crack forming in it.
Your eyes bulge. It’s an ajar door, you realize. A secret door one wouldn’t notice if they weren’t aware it was there. Light spills from the slight opening.
Confining your breath, you bend over the crack in the wall to get a glimpse of what’s behind it. 
The vision crowding your sight makes the blood in your veins freeze. 
President Snow rutting into a maid with his pants down to his ankles. His usually neat blonde locks are tousled, a few damp curls kissing his forehead. His massive cock glistens with the girl’s essence, disappearing into the girl’s spread lips over and over again. Her body is bent over the railing of the bed and her maid outfit is bunched around her hips, exposing her ass, the flesh trembling with each of the president’s harsh, pointed thrust.
Each time he snaps his hips he draws a broken moan from her. One of his hands is around the back of her throat while the other’s on the small of her back. He grunts low in his throat as she clenches around him, thrusting into her even faster than before. 
The obscene sound of their coupling rises, coalescing with the feral grunts spilling from the president’s mouth. In that moment, he’s not the poised gentleman you’re used to seeing, he is an animal in rut chasing his high.
A shocked exhale escapes your lips. Your hand flies to cover your mouth. President Snow’s head snaps up, his gaze landing straight on you.
Your heart slams against your ribcage.
You jump back from the door and push the secret door closed. You dart across the hallway, determined to find the exit as quickly as you can. You don’t glance back, your steps hasty and panicked. 
Pandora was right. It’s best not not to hear or see anything, to become a tomb in which secrets are buried.
You can only hope he didn’t recognize you through the tiny crack in the door. 
Though you’re shaken to your core, you continue your work as a nanny. You still need money. You may have set aside everything you made thus far, but it will only sustain you and your brother for a month or two. Besides, you’ve already handed in your resignation for your other jobs.  The positions have likely been filled. You can’t exactly show up out of the blue and ask for your former job back. 
No. So you convince yourself that it’s alright. You have a good thing going anyway. You’re making more than you hoped. The child is happy. You’re happy. All is well. Or it would be at least.
…If you could conjure the memory of President Snow railing into the maid far away from your mind. 
You want to forget it, bury the moment so deep in the abyss of your thoughts, it can never be unearthed.
But it isn’t so easy. Because every time your mind wanders even a little, you see him again. Skin glistening with sweat and blue eyes alight with lust. The image is tattooed into your brain. 
You wonder if the first lady knows. Perhaps it’s why she’s hiding away. The weight of her husband’s indiscretions may have grown too heavy to carry. It sours your heart. President Snow seemed so kind, good and noble. He was nice to you. You still have the breast pocket he gave you tucked away in a drawer. You loathe to think he’d do that to his wife. No woman deserves this.
You lift your head when your name is uttered. You get to your feet. Adrift in your thoughts, you didn’t realize Pandora was in the nursery. 
“Yes?”
“The president wants to see you in his office.”
Dread wrenches your gut. It’s exactly what you feared. Does he know? Did he see you? Your pulse picks up. What other reason would there be? He never summoned you before.
“Really, why?”
“He didn’t say, but I’m assuming it’s to congratulate you.”
Befuddlement wrinkles your forehead. “Congratulate me?”
Pandora heaves out a weary sigh. “Well, you’ve done much better than we thought,” she begrudgingly admits. “The young master smiles all the time.” She rolls her eyes. “Even if we must deal with his tantrums when you leave.”
A sliver of pride flutters through you with her admission. Pandora made her doubts about your capabilities plain and obvious from the beginning. It gladdens you that you may have changed her mind a little. 
“I’m sorry.” 
“It’s fine.” She turns to him, the ghost of a smile playing on her lips. “It’s a small price to pay for his happiness.”
Your smile vanishes as she adds, “Now let me escort you to the president’s office. He doesn’t like to be kept waiting.”
Swallowing the lump in your throat, you trail behind her. The entire trek to the president’s office, your stomach’s in knots. You keep wondering if it’s the day you’ll lose your job for being too nosy. You should have walked past the noise. You shouldn’t have peeked. 
You inhale a lungful of nerve as Pandora opens the door to his office and frees room for you to enter. Your clammy hands wrench in your lap. He’s sitting behind his desk. You stagger further inside the room as he motions for you to sit in the chair on the other side of the desk. He looks the same as the first time you stumbled into him, disarmingly handsome in an impeccable shirt and pants that flatter his long legs.
A sharp contrast to the version of him that has plagued your thoughts lately. 
His sky gaze follows you as you take a trembling seat.
“Are you settling in well?” he asks.
“Hm, yes,” you stammer, anxiously twining your fingers. “It’s pretty much the perfect job. I get to be around a cute child all day.”
“I hear my son is very fond of you.”
You bashfully dip your head. “He’s very easy to like. He’s such a good boy, sweet, kind, and curious. You and your wife are raising him well, sir.”
He hums in thought. “I can’t take much credit for that. I’ve tried my best to carve out time for Martius…but work’s kept me busy. As for Livia...” He lets out a humorless chuckle. “Well she isn’t quite herself these days.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.”
He places one hand under his chin, scrutinizing you. You try not to twitch beneath his stare, your insides tight with dread.
“Hm, it’s strange,” he states after a minute that goes by like an eternity.
Your head rises. “What’s strange?”
“A girl like you.” His lips drag upward. “Sweet, nurturing, beautiful. Shouldn’t you be married already?”
Your lips part in astonishment. This isn’t the line of questioning you expected. “I-I’m not.”
“No fiancé?”
“No, sir.”
“A lover then?”
Warmth rushes to your face.
“No…”
He laughs, mirth dancing in his cobalt orbs.
“You must pardon me for being so forward but I simply find it astonishing. No suitors? It’s hard to believe since you’re so lovely, sweetheart.” He tilts his head. You shift in discomfort, his attention making you feel see-through. “I mean, a husband would have made your life easier than it’s been thus far, wouldn’t he, dove?”
A long exhale flows from your lips. “I’ve had offers, after I graduated from the Academy. There was even this boy, he was so kind to me.” The memory draws a small smile from you. “He proposed. I’m sure he’d make a great husband, but…”
“But…”
Your mouth dries.
“I know it’s probably naive and unrealistic but I want to marry for love, that great, life-changing love, like in those romance novels my mom used to love, not money or status.”
His eyes twinkle. “Or financial stability?”
Shame gathers in your chest. You know it sounds silly when uttered aloud. 
“I know, I’m an idiot.”
“No, you’re not. It’s sweet that you still believe in love.” He appears lost in a faraway memory, his gaze hazing over with remembrance. “I used to believe in it too. I used to think, ‘Who needs wealth and success and power when love conquers all?’”
He chuckles but it’s bereft of amusement. 
“Really? What happened then?”
His gaze locks with yours. 
“I grew up.”
Confused, you frown. 
“But aren’t you and the first lady in love?”
Another laugh bursts from his chest.
“God, you’re sweet.” His tone lowers to a dulcet whisper. “It’s like none of the world’s ugliness has gotten to you yet.” He reveals matter-of-factly, “My wife and I hate each other.” His smile widens at your flabbergasted expression. “Always did. It’s best that way, more…efficient. Of course, there was a time, when we had…passion.” He licks his lips, something you can’t pinpoint flickering in his gaze. “But not anymore. She’s far too gone for that.”
He rises from his chair. You stiffen as he circles the desk, making slow steps towards you. 
“Which is why I must…satiate my needs wherever I can,” he mumbles, fingers lurking under your chin, forcing your eyes to fall upon him. “Do you understand my meaning, dove?”
“I…yes.”
Discomfort flares within you. Tension hangs in the air, so heavy it clogs your airways. 
He cocks his head, lips slanting crookedly.
“Do you really? With that innocent look in your eyes, it’s hard to tell.” His thumb sweeps over your shuddering bottom lip. “Men have needs. And am I not a man, sweetheart?”
“Y-Yes you are, sir.”
He bends over you to whisper in your ear. “You saw everything that day, didn’t you?” Your heart stops.
Flames lick your face as you bow your head. “I-I didn’t see anything.”
His warm breath ghosts over your earshell.
“Liar,” he mumbles.
Your pulse quickens.
He leans back and nudges your chin upward.
“Since my wife fell sick, I’ve been very lonely. And sometimes…” He looms over you, crowding your space as you peer up at him, fingers squeezing the arms of the chair. “I need something soft and warm to forget that feeling.”
President Snow slowly falls to his knees in front of you. His fingers find your thigh, starting to creep under your skirt. A devilish glint sparkles in his cobalt gaze. He finds your center, pressing the sheer fabric into your folds. You gasp. He chuckles at your reaction. He starts teasing you through your panties, tracing your slit and dragging over your tender bud. Your breath hitches as the air around you grows hotter. You grow slick beneath his finger, your thighs shaking as tingles bloom on your flesh.
“Sir…” you whimper, tears welling up in your eyes.
He pushes further inside you, adding another finger, and you unleash an audible breath. You try to close your thighs. He places his other hand on your knee to keep you open for him.
The air in your lungs grows thinner as he rubs your core through your soaked panties. The friction is a delicious torture. Pleasure pools in your belly causing your face to burn with shame. You’re getting embarrassingly wet with President Snow’s attention.
“I just want a little taste,” he murmurs, his deep timbre bleeding lust. “Just one time and it’ll never happen again,” he promises fervently as his lips graze your ankle. You find some relief when his fingers disappear from your drenched center. But your respite is ephemeral. He slips his hands under your ass and tugs at your panties.
Panic widens your eyes. Cheeks ablaze, you pull at the material between your legs with both hands. But he’s stronger than you and effortlessly drags the fabric along your legs. A wicked smile plays on his lips as tears glisten in your eyes. It’s soon down to your ankles. You squeal when the president yanks the panties off your foot, tossing them aside. Cool air sneaks beneath your skirt, swirling over your bare folds.
Hands over your knees to keep you spread, his wolfish gaze sweeps over your glossy folds. 
Your skin heats, embarrassment gathering in your chest. You’ve never been this vulnerable and exposed in front of anybody before.
“Please, President Snow, s-stop…” 
“But you’re dripping, sweetheart,” he states smugly, sinking a finger inside your weeping core, as if to make a point. Your breath hitches. He takes his finger out sluggishly. You clench when he grazes one of your sensitive spots. “Just as sweet as I expected,” he hums, obscenely licking your essence off his long digit.
Without a warning, he buries his head between your thighs. A sharp exhale leaps from your mouth. His cool tongue traces a wet trail over your folds. President Snow traces maddening patterns over your swollen bud causing your eyes to roll back.
You card your fingers through his silken platinum locks, hoping to push his head away. But the delightful sensations grow too overwhelming. You unravel beneath his sinful ministrations, your limbs twitching as the thread of your thoughts comes loose.
Your grip on his hair weakens. Your belly tightens, your chest rising and falling rapidly. 
You jolt as his tongue flickers over your tender heap of nerves. 
“P-President…” 
He purrs against your folds and the vibrations rock through your core. You squirm in the chair. Your thighs quake. Your vision dims, your mind blank as waves of pleasure swaddle you in their tide. Protests scatter on your tongue, replaced by wanton whimpers and moans.
Electricity ripples through your spine as you cry out.
Bliss engulfs you and your legs turn liquid. Shame swirls in your gut as your juices coat his tongue. He drinks your nectar, elation rumbling in his chest. 
When he lifts his head, you hardly recognize him. The feral glow in his gaze chills your blood.
There is no time to collect yourself, realize what just occurred, as the blonde gathers your limp frame from the chair and places you on his desk. Documents and papers are flung to the ground as he grabs your thighs and presses his throbbing hard-on against your cunt. 
He hastily unbuttons his pants, freeing his hard length. He fists his cock and guides it through your wet entrance. Your back arches, the sudden intrusion robbing you of air. He reaches the hilt of you in a few seconds, giving you no time to accommodate his thick girth. You collapse over the desk, weak whimpers leaving you as your walls are stretched to their limit. He drags out of you, his pupils flaring as they trace the motion of his length in and out of you. Coriolanus leans over you. He snaps his pelvis into your hips, each of his thrusts tearing tearful moans from your throat.
When you turn your head, hot tears flowing down your cheeks, he grabs your chin so you’re forced to meet his lustful stare. Bracing himself on the desk, he reaches between your bodies to pinch your swollen clit. He plucks at your soft bud until you shatter around him with a sob. His throat bobs, a look of sheer bliss flitting across his face when you clench around him.
“I’ve been dying to fuck you the minute I saw you,” he confesses, trailing soft pecks over your collarbone. A sinister chuckle peals from his lips. “The way you looked at me with those sweet, innocent eyes…it made me rock-hard.” He tilts your chin towards him, his thumb skimming over your parted lips.
Satisfaction glimmers in his eyes as they flick over your prone form.
“You should thank me. Those boys at the Academy wouldn’t know what to do with a girl like you…” His cock twitches inside you. Sticky warmth spills from him, painting your walls and dripping past your hole. Drops of his seed leak onto the desk. A throaty sigh pours from President Snow’s throat as your cunt flutters around him.
His teeth nip the skin of your neck.
“...But I do.”
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After what occurs in his office, you hope to avoid President Snow. Those hopes are swiftly dashed however. President Snow lied to you. It doesn’t happen once. In fact, you begin to lose count of the actual number.
Every time the president finds a little spare time, he summons you.
Sometimes you end up bent over the desk in his office as he pours the frustrations of the day into your warm hole. Sometimes he prefers you sprawled on your back in one of the multitude of luxurious beds in the mansion while he devours you as if you were his very last meal. And at times, he grows even more impatient and simply shoves you against a wall before ravaging you.
More than once, a maid or footman has walked in on the two of you, and you’ve had to swallow your shame and embarrassment.
As you’ve come to learn, the entire staff is aware of Coriolanus Snow’s insatiable appetite and none of them seems to care.
You feel sick, desperate, trapped in something twisted and awful you never signed up for.
But how does one say no to President Coriolanus Snow? The entire Capitol yields to his every whim. And you are the same. Here to bow and smile and lie back whenever he demands it.
You long to focus on your job, to care for Martius and nothing else. Whenever the boy looks up at you with those innocent blue eyes, eerily similar to his father’s, your stomach wrenches. You pray he never comes to learn what kind of man his father is. You wish he’d stay just as kind and sweet as he is now.
Those are the thoughts drifting through your mind as you watch Martius play with his toy trains. Your eyes wander towards the window. Outside, orange and purple hues are bleeding into the sky, the afternoon nearing its end. Your stomach coils. It’s during times like these that President Snow often seeks you out. You’ve tried to run away from him but it’s all a game to Coriolanus, and he always delights in chasing you through the hallways.
Your brows crumple as you note that Martius has stopped playing. He drops his toy and rushes to your side. Confounded by his behavior, you’re on the cusp of asking him what’s wrong…but your gaze follows what caught his attention on the other side of the room.
You fall silent, your eyes rounding in shock.
“Martius. Come here, my love,” says the blonde woman in a white robe and nightgown, her arms wide open.
Time stands still for a few seconds. It takes you a while to realize who stands before the door. She looks so different, more ghost than woman, her glassy blue eyes hollow and sunken. But her likeness is unmistakable. Even with her graying, limp tresses and ashen complexion, you recognize Livia Cardew. The president’s wife.
You bolt to your feet. Arms still open, Livia takes slow steps towards Martius.
“I’m your mom, sweetie. Don’t you remember me?”
The little boy’s fists clutch your skirt as he hides his face against your leg.
“You’re not my mom.”
A stricken look twists Livia’s features as she shrinks. As if her own son just drove a knife through her heart. Your chest twinges. While her abrupt appearance is a shock, you can’t imagine how she must feel. You place a hand on Martius’ back and try to nudge him forward.
“Martius. It’s the First Lady, your mother. Go on, hug her,” you urge softly.
He shakes his head, tears filling his eyes as he hides behind you even more.
You’re stunned. Has it truly been that long?
“Martius-”
You don’t get to finish your sentence, Livia lunging at you, her eyes wild with fury.
“You! This is all your fault,” she hisses. She points at you and scoffs, “You’re his new whore, aren’t you?” Her mouth wobbles as she grips her head. “First you take my husband, now my son.”
Martius begins to sob. His loud cries overlap with his mother’s frantic yelling. You cover his eyes, tossing Livia an apologetic look.
“First Lady, I never meant-”
Before you can explain yourself, she grabs a nearby vase and smashes it. White roses scatter on the floor. Stomping all over the petals and broken glass, she collects one of the shards and races towards you. Terror numbs you. You freeze as Livia aims the shard at you, scarlet droplets dripping on her nightgown as she squeezes her fist around the glass.
Your eyes shut as you wait for the inevitable strike.
You shiver, waiting still.
But it doesn’t come.
“Livia, darling, that’s enough. It’s time for you to sleep and take your medicine.”
The familiar sound of Coriolanus’ voice causes your eyes to snap open. 
You watch him restrain a struggling Livia. She curses at him, fighting him with all her might. It’s a painful spectacle. 
“No, don’t touch me!” Other staff members rush into the room. It takes several people to hold Livia down, colorful expletives pouring from her mouth as she punches and kicks whoever comes close. “You’re killing me! You bastard! Give me my son back! Martius! Martius!”
The child trembles against your skirt, his tear-filled gaze stuck to the floor.
Eventually someone manages to stick a needle into Livia’s neck. She instantly goes limp, arm still reaching for her son in her last conscious second.
“Take her away,” Coriolanus instructs.
The first lady’s flaccid form is dragged out of the room. Still shaken by what you just witnessed, you don’t move a muscle. President Snow approaches you, worry swimming in his blue orbs. 
“Are you alright, dove?” He cups your cheeks, his brows crumpling as his gaze settles on your neck. “I’ll have Doctor Gaul look at you. She has an ointment for that.” He caresses your cheeks, smiling. You gape at him. How can he smile at a time like that? “It won’t even scar. I promise.”
You graze your neck. Your fingers come away bloody. Oh. Livia nicked you with the shard but you didn’t even feel it. Perhaps adrenaline numbed you to the pain.
“Dada,” Martius chimes, lifting his chubby arms.
Coriolanus’ face warms as he picks up his son. He tosses him in the air and catches him. Martius giggles through his tears.
“My sweet boy. That was very scary, wasn’t it?” he says, balancing his son on his hip. Martius nods and wipes his nose. Coriolanus flicks his cheek, beaming at him. “Don’t worry, son. The scary lady won’t bother you anymore in a few months.”
A wave of ice blows through your veins. You wonder why the president uttered those words with such certainty. Like a promise. Or a prophecy. Almost as if he knows exactly when the grim reaper will come knock on his wife’s door.
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The next day, you hand over your resignation to Pandora. Her expression is skeptical as she gauges the manila folder you give her.
“This is for the president,” you announce.
She unleashes a deep exhale. “You should reconsider, sleep on it.”
You almost laugh. Sleep on it? You can hardly find rest, the picture of a disheveled Livia Cardew crying out for her son haunting your nights. Whatever befell upon the poor woman, you wouldn’t be surprised if her husband somehow had a hand in it. It broke your heart, seeing her like that, her own son unable to recognize her. You also despise the role Coriolanus forced you to play in erasing her memory.
All of it feels wrong. 
And most of all, you don’t want President Snow to use you to satisfy his lewd desires anymore. He took all your firsts, all the moments that should have been beautiful, and made them a nightmare you have to relive every time he touches you.
You respected him; you admired him. Now you can’t be in his presence without dread whispering through you. What will he make you do this time? How will he make you small and powerless again?
“I can’t…I can’t do this anymore. He can hire someone else to care for him.”
Pandora purses her lips and shakes her head.
“It’s really not that simple. The president has developed…a fondness for you.”
You bristle. “I have to go back home. Laertes is expecting me.”
“You won’t like what comes next, trust me.” Her gaze narrows. “No one leaves the president.”
Ignoring the shudder elicited by her daunting words, you pivot and make a beeline towards the exit. Pandora’s voice echoes down the hallways.
“Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
Depleted, you glumly make your way to the gates. You enter the car that takes you back home everyday. Your thoughts wander as the Snow’s house grows smaller through the car window. You were thrilled when you got this job. It felt like kismet after the year you and your brother had. A rainbow after the rain. A slice of hope.
How it all went to hell so quickly. You’re still reeling from it. You’ve no idea what you’ll do next. The only thing you know for certain is that you will not step foot into the Snows’ estate ever again.
The car suddenly halts. You bump your head into the passenger’s seat. Wincing, you grip the sides of your head. As you retrieve your senses, you look around. You stopped.
You toss a questioning look at the driver.
But before he can respond, the car door opens and you’re yanked outside. Two pairs of strong arms drag you away from the car.
You take in the blue uniforms of the men. Terror pulses through your blood.
Peacekeepers.
Noting the guns at their sides, you stop trying to resist. There’s no fighting against them, ever. They are the Capitol’s fist and carry the President’s will. You don’t stand a chance. In fact, you likely never did. You slump in their grip, despair thrumming inside you.
They escort you to a black car with tinted windows. Your pulse soars. You’ve only ever seen one individual step out of this car.
The peacekeepers toss you inside and slam the door shut.
Your fearful gaze rises to him.
He casually sits in front of you, his eyes narrowed.
“You disappoint me, dove.” He lets out a weary sigh. “After everything I’ve done for you…you try to leave me. I thought you were smarter than that.”
You twine your hands, sputtering, “I-I’m not the right person for this job, sir.”
He slides his fingers under your chin, tilting it upward.
“Oh but you’re perfect. My son loves you. You’re sweet, dutiful and most importantly…” He smirks. “You are mine. Mine to hold, spoil and fuck whenever I please for however long I please.”
The prospect fills you with dread. He wants you to be his toy again, submissive, available whenever he pleases.
“Sir…”
His jaw ticks, his hold on your jaw tightening.
“Wouldn’t it be wonderful if your brother could attend the University, free of charge? A bright young mind such as his, I believe he deserves it.” His blue eyes twinkle. “Instead of, let’s say…end up in a District, his name chosen as a tribute in the next Hunger Games.” Your heart sinks to your feet. “That’d be awful, wouldn’t it? So cruel…” he mumbles, stroking your trembling bottom lip.
“No, please,” you beseech, tears swelling in your eyes. Your brother’s all you have left in the world. Nothing can happen to him. 
Coriolanus fondles your cheek, the tender gesture a sharp contrast to the wicked words rolling off his tongue.
“It’s all up to you, then, dove. As long as you behave, I’ll give you the world. But if you act like a little brat again…” A threat lurks in his soft tone, a glint of madness swaying in his cobalt orbs. “I really don’t know what I might do.”
Chills dance over your spine.
“I promise to never do it again,” you blurt out.
He pulls out a square from his breast pocket. It’s identical to the one he used the first time.
But a lifetime seems to have passed since that moment, the world now so different from what you imagined, and the man before you…even more so.
“Good girl,” he lauds while swiping away your tears. 
He shoves the pocket square back in its place. Coriolanus then beams at you as he starts unbuttoning his shirt and undoing his pants.
“Now, I’ve had a long, exhausting day. So how about you get on your knees for me and make it better with that sweet mouth of yours, dove?”
5K notes · View notes
ramonathinks · 2 months
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ALL HE WANTS — EREN x BLK!READER
tags: 18+ (no minors/no blank blogs — you will be blocked), shotgunning, sex, kinda friends to lovers, established relationship (towards the end), oral (f!), making out, sexual tension, eren has a tongue piercing and dimples, fingering, dirty talk, reader is black, mutual pining, dry humping, unprotected sex, dubcon (both a little buzzed on weed),
notes: this is a repost ofc but... i wasn't about to miss daddy's birthday lolll. (1)(2) “continue reading” divider by @/anitalenia 4.1k words ! + repost!
“When you gonna stop playing and let me be your man, baby?” Eren had his hands in his pockets and lent up against the wall, staring you down. The way he talked always made your body shiver, the way he looked deep into your eyes made you want to moan.
“Just gimme the weed, please.” You rolled your eyes at him. He was always like this — teasing you whenever he saw you all dolled up; tonight you wore a short peach colored dress that made your chest look even bigger, and his eyes kept glancing down constantly from your lips to your chest.
He probably kept looking at your lips because of how plump and bright they were decorated with the clear sticky fruity smelling lipgloss you always wore. Your hair was done in a wavy black hair done in a 32inch half up-half down that framed your face pretty well; and Eren tried to act like he didn’t realize it wasn’t the hairstyle he picked for you a while back.
Unintentionally he licked his lips before digging through his pockets for what he came over to deliver. Normally he didn’t hand deliver anything, he made people come to him, but this was you.
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Sweet smelling you who always looked as good as you smelt and right now there was an aroma around you that smelled of nothing but strawberries and some other fruity smell that he couldn’t decipher. It wasn’t even just the fact that you smelled so good but rather the way you looked so good too, always with your hair done even your nails — long coffin shaped, pink and white acrylic with little designs on them — and your face, bare or not your skin was always glistening rich brown.
He was always losing his focus when you were in the room. He handed you your weed and turned to leave. “Wait, here—”
He scoffed, “On the house.” He waved you off, he did this all the time, no matter how many times you begged him to just take the money.
“Eren!” Using his long legs to stroll out of the hallway and towards the apartment complex’s door. He almost made it out before he felt you tug at his arm, a deep pout on your face.
“You’ll get wrinkles. Don’t…” He caressed the area between your eyebrows and trailed down to your jaw — taking it in his hands and squeezing it, making your pout deeper before he let it go.
“Just here, okay? I’m grateful you don’t make me pay since we’re friends,” That definitely wasn’t the reason, but he didn’t say anything. “But just take it. I can pay, you know I can.” Your eyelids fluttered innocently.
He sniffled, “Fine. Fine. Just this once.” He flicked your nose. Then Eren looked at you, truly looked at you and smiled a bit. You were really too cute. “Are you coming to Connie’s party in a few?”
“Yeah, I was actually just getting ready before you came.” You tell him, finally letting go of his arm.
“And that’s what you’re wearing?” He swallowed, biting his tongue. He sounded so judgmental that your eyes widened before you looked down at yourself.
It was cold yes but you always chose being cute over being cold, plus you were always being driven around so you weren’t even outside enough to feel the freezing cold air and it was only a small bit of occasional snow, nothing too bad.
“What’s wrong with it?” You craned your neck a bit to see your backside. Everything was in tact and in place.
Jealousy was already deep in his chest and tugging at his heart, making everything feel so tight around him. He just shook his head, “Nothing, just thinkin’ bout how cold it is, that’s all. But I know you already have a ride lined up, right?”
Playfully rolling your eyes you smirk, “Actually…” Twiddling with your fingers, he watches you already knowing where this was going. “I was hoping, you’d take me if you had a chance? Maybe?”
“Do I ever say no to you?” He asked, walking back down the hall with you towards your apartment again.
This wasn’t his first time inside of your apartment. But for some reason he couldn’t help but to be in awe. You lived in luxury — marble countertops, a wide double door silver fridge, a patio… he knew he couldn’t compare to the lifestyle your father already had you in.
He wish he could... but he couldn’t. He made enough on selling whatever he could but it was only enough for him, not a lifestyle like yours. He wouldn’t be able to provide for you like you needed. Even if he got a real good job, nothing could truly live up to your norm and he would hate for you to settle.
It was the reason that he never truly could actively pursue you like he wanted with a good conscience. How could he pursue you when you had everything you wanted and then some?
Even the fuzzy pink rug on your floor looked like it was worth a couple thousand. A glossy painting of you hung in the center of your living room and it caught his eye, the last time he was inside it wasn’t there.
“Isn’t it nice? Looks almost as cute as the real thing, Hm?” You teasing, putting a finger to your cheek.
He gave you a side eye with a smile so deep enough that you could see his dimple and it made your heart flutter.
You always thought he was cute just not boyfriend material. You weren’t even being judgmental but you heard about Eren long before you had met him. Just a boy who always wanted to get his dick wet and especially when he had pretty clients, you couldn’t take him serious. Even if you wanted to.
When he wasn’t being a flirt, he was a good friend, always came when you needed him, even if it was just for a ride. He was always so sweet and treated you better than any of your boyfriends.
“You think I should just settle for some pants instead of this then, huh?” You did a slight twirl. You could tell he really liked what you had on but just not today. Not where y’all was headed.
He clicked his teeth with his tongue, “Uhh…” He looked you over, his gaze lingering on all assets.
His knee was bouncing and he was getting up before he realized. He never been inside of your room, let alone your closet. So this was all new territory to him, yet he felt like he knew where everything was.
He don’t know why he loved seeing you in your pink moon boots but he knew he wanted to see them on you tonight. He peaked over his shoulder, looking at you briefly before looking over your closet again. “Hm,” He held out two different shirts, you chuckled.
“Maybe this one with the hearts to match the boots and then a nice mini skirt… not too short.” He knew how you liked to dress and you gave him a coy smile.
“Ya know what, Yeager? You’re cute.” You kissed his cheek before pushing him out the room to get dressed. You hate to admit you were feeling hot all over, most guys didn’t come into your room for anything but sex and even though you weren’t expecting him to come in and help you decide on something else he did. It was little. But more than you were used to.
Eren on the other hand, was trying not to palm his dick. Touching the soft fabric of your clothes and imagining them on your skin, had him gulping. He paced the living room before he heard small paws running up to him and yelping. A small bundle of golden tan fur ran up to him, scratching and sniffing the area around him.
“Princess!” You yelled, running out to get your little dog. “Sorry Eren, she loves new people. I thought she would stay sleep, but...” You coo and tap the floor so that she comes running. “I’ll put her up and then we can go.” You scoop her up.
He stops you, “Let me meet my baby’s baby.” He ushers her out of your hand and into his own, a deep smile on his face as she licks his fingers.
You ignore what he says and how it makes your stomach flutter, you just cross your arms and watch. “She’s the cutest.” He tells you, staring you down with a hooded gaze. “Let’s get going, ‘kay?”
You nod, heading to put her into a crate so she can sleep until you get back.
He waits for you, even when you lock up your apartment, he opens the car door for you. You don’t know why but you feel like everything’s going to change tonight.
And Eren can feel it too.
------
It isn’t until you’re already there that you realize his hand was on your thigh the entire car ride. His touch leaving a trail of hotness and when he finally parked, your eyes wouldn’t leave your thigh. Was it weird that you were already missing his touch against your skin?
You heard a few people greeting him as he caught up towards the house behind you, he nodded to a few and did a half wave to some others.
“Birthday boy Yeager, finally! Being late to your own party, really man?” Connie greeted him and your body froze.
Eren didn’t mention it was his birthday. Connie didn’t even mention it when he invited you. You frowned and moved closer before squeezing Eren’s side.
A slight yelp, “The fuck was that for?” He asked, looking down at you with furrowed brows.
“It’s your birthday and you didn’t tell me? You were selling me weed on your birthday, driving me to your birthday party and didn’t bother to mention it?”
“It…skipped my mind.” He muttered, scratching the back of his head.
“You didn’t tell your girl your birthday?” Connie snickered. “You didn’t want any birthday sex? Mannn—“
Eren lightly jabbed Connie’s arm, “You know we’re just friends.”
But really, who could tell? Whenever you both were together, you both always stood so close together, sometimes even with his hand on your waist. Deep long stares and only focusing on each other.
“Rightttttt.” Connie laughs and waves you and Eren down to the basement. “So while the party’s upstairs… our real party will be right here, just the gang you know…” He explained while you looked over the place.
A comfy basement with a long couch and two loveseats, a few white garden chairs. A bong on the table that sat in the middle and a few bottles of alcohol. “Sooo, where is everyone?” You raised your eyebrows, arms folded against your chest.
Connie thinks for a moment before raising a finger, pulling out his phone and calling someone. “Yeahhh, hello?” You and Eren shared a glance before looking back at Connie. “Fuck, you gotta be kidding me… no, no, it’s fine,” Connie does an awkward smile to you both. “Alright. Yeah. See you soon.” He sighs.
“Fuck, I gotta go. Sasha said she needs me to get her. Then Jean too and… yeah… basically I think all those fuckers need a ride.” He explains. “Please make yourselves comfortable down here or upstairs, whatever. I’ll just be right back.” He jogs up the stairs and closes the door.
You feel awkward just standing so you smooth out a place on the loveseat and sit down.
But of course you weren’t planning on Eren sitting next to you. Cramped up and all in your space, his legs spread wide with almost little room for your legs. You stare at him, “Seriously?”
He does a sly smile, “I can’t sit next to you? You gonna deny me all tonight huh?”
Remembering it was his birthday, you just let him. His arm over your shoulder and pulling you in. “Fine… fine.” You mutter, pulling out some of the weed you brought from him earlier.
“Hey…lemme roll that for you.” He doesn’t wait for you to answer, he just does it. The shiny piercing on his tongue showing itself as he licked up the paper.
You squeezed your thighs, just watching him. He pulled out a lighter from his pocket and with a few clicks, he lit your blunt and took one long drag from it, finally handing it to you.
“Thanks…” You brought it to your lips and his eyes burned into yours. You inhaled, smiling as you felt it come over you. You hummed to yourself, your hooded eyes watching him as he watched you.
“How you feelin’?” You heard him ask, your body humming and you leaned closer into his touch. Your head laying on his shoulder.
“Good.” You responded shortly. “Just really good.”
“I’m glad to hear that baby.” His voice sounded closer but you ignored it. You smoked the blunt again and when you went to exhale, he pressed his lips to yours, just a small peck.
Briefly, you would’ve missed it if your eyes weren’t open.
“Been wanting to do that all day.” He rubbed a hand down his face. “Sorry.”
“It’s okay…” You swallowed. “You can do it again.”
It was all he needed. His hands grabbed your face gently and he pressed a small peck on your lips. Then again. His hands touch the skin of your thigh when he goes in a bit deeper. No more little kisses, he’s fully kissing you on the lips. “Must be the weed, hm? You’d never let me kiss you…fuck,” He sounds pissed but mainly at himself.
“I took like two puffs, I’m barely…buzzed. I just… I mean why not?” You ask aloud, looking at him. Maybe you were just tired of pretending that you didn’t want him. That you didn’t want this. You were horny and maybe a quick fuck to get him out of your system would be good for the both of you.
“You like playing with my heart huh? You know how I feel and…” He trails off. “You know I like you—“
“You don’t like me, you just wanna fuck me like everyone else.” You had a hard time believing that he had feelings for you, that he wasn’t like any of the others before him. You wave him off but he grabs your wrist.
He clicks his teeth before laughing, “No, no, no…Baby. You’re special to me. Just want you all to myself, always.”
You snort, “Yeah right…” But your body felt so hot and like you’re wearing too many clothes.
“Come sit on my lap pretty girl. Let me show you something.” He pats his lap and grabs your waist, tightly.
“Show me what?” You were curious but you knew that you wouldn’t be able to come back to being just friends if you did what he asked.
“How much I like you.” He lifted you with ease and in an instant, you were on him. You could feel just how big and hard he was under you. You swallowed, wrapping your hands around his neck.
“Well? Show me.” You smile, hotness rolling off the both of you in waves. He smiles before he brings you in and kisses you.
Moaning when he pulls you closer, jerking his hips up to yours. His hands exploring your body and his tongue enters your mouth, swirling around. Slipping his tongue in and out your mouth, sucking on yours. His hands traveling down your back until he gripped your butt, spreading and massaging them in his large palms before sliding them up and down your back.
He kisses the sides of your neck and you take another drag of the blunt, feeling your lungs expand and the sensation of his mouth and hands making you shiver. He grabs your hips and rolls his more into yours, the fabric of his denim jeans hitting your clit.
Breathing heavily you inhale and with shaky hands you pull him forward. Kissing him with the smoke still in your lungs, his cock throbbing in his pants, he’s trying not to be greedy but he wants you. Tracing up and down your shirt, slipping his fingers underneath.
He feels a bit giggly afterwards. With a dopey big grin on his face, “You’re so pretty. Like an angel.” You’re smiling so hard that your cheeks hurt but your pussy is pulsing and you need him.
“Eren… thank you. But I just… need… I need you to…Please just touch me. Please.” His hands roam again. His cock half hard in his pants and his hands on your hips, he makes you roll them against his again. You gape and gasp a bit, feeling how hard he is against your damp dainty panties.
His hands are under your skirt and he massages the bit of your butt and thighs, spreading and patting you. He kisses you full on the lip and sucks more on your tongue before pulling back, “You’re just so pretty.” His forehead is on yours and his eyes are eating you up.
Your clit pulses and throbs the more he rolls your hips against his and the way he’s digging his fingers into the skin of your butt and thighs, you’re groaning and sighing, “This feels so…” you wrap an arm around his neck. “Good.” You whisper in his ear and feel him shiver, you press small kisses up and down his neck. “You’re so hard…” You lick him, small and to the point. “Eren…I—“
“Shhh,” He stops your hips, that were now moving on their own. “Just keep doing what feels natural… what feels right. We can talk about all of this later. But now? Let me make you feel good, yeah? Wouldn’t you like that?”
And it’s the way that he says it, honestly, that makes your heart speed up and your panties even more wet before he slips them to the side.
“Holy shit, already? This wet, baby? Damn…” His fingers sticky just from a quick slip inside, your mouth open and your legs shaking. “Knew you couldn’t resist me.” You hear the sweet sounds of him fingering you, the wet noises echoing in the dark room.
“Fuck,” He mutters, flexing his fingers and twisting them inside. You clamp down on him and he bits his lip before kissing you, trying to keep you both quiet.
You lifted his shirt a little, looking at his stomach as he breathes in and out, his stomach muscles flexing. You smile to yourself, helping him out of his shirt before you trail your hand up and down his muscular chest and stomach. A semi thick patch of hair from his stomach and disappears down into his pants catches your attention and with a deep gulp your fingers dance lightly on his stomach until they disappear into his pants.
His breath hitches, “Your hands are so…whew,” His eyes are closed when you touch him, stroking him. “So damn soft. Too damn soft.” His hips jerk up at the contact of your hand against him.
“Has anyone ever—?” He doesn’t say it but licks his lips and sucks at his teeth.
“No, never…” Boys were too interested in sex never foreplay or oral. Some never even looked at your pussy.
He huffed, “Idiots. Want you to sit on my face, okay?” He could feel you twitching and your body freeze up.
“You’re so weird you know that?” You squeeze at his tip and he whined a bit, taking your wrist and taking it out of his pants.
“Hey, been thinking about it forever.” He have, he liked being your friend but he always thought about what’s between your legs. He always felt so guilty for it, this ulterior motive of his.
With your skirt still on, you move to hover over him. He breathes you in and groans out a deep “Fuck.” His tongue soaked in spit but he grabs at your thighs and slurps at your swollen clit. The heavy scent of your aroma wafting around his face.
Your thighs shaking as you rock your hips against him, but he wants to take things slow. Your juices all over his mouth and even a bit on his nose. You hated how greedy you were being. His tongue flicking at your stick clit and sucking on your lips.
“Eren! Faster…faster, please.” The cold metal piercing brushed against your clit and had you seeing stars so clearly that you tugged at his dark hair.
He liked the way his name sounded rolling off your tongue, even the way your mouth looked when you said it. Your lips: a work of art and your voice a song. So to be the one who’s listening and the one giving you this pleasure? He couldn’t help but smile to himself. To revel in it.
He chuckles listening to the soft moans of your pleads and begging, “No need to beg, don’t you know you own me? I’m yours. I’ll do whatever you say.”
His voice made you clench and he pressed small kisses up your slit before stretching you apart, “Think I can see you getting all wet for me…” His tongue dives in and your toes curl as he licks around the insides of you. Sucking at your folds and diving inside of your wetness, he moved one of his hands from your thighs and rubbed with two fingers on your achy clit. You shuddered, biting your lips.
He smiles looking at your pussy, so wet and pretty before he dives back in. Really just wanting to be covered in your scent. He gives a few more sucks, your hips raising and thrashing against his face.
“Baby,” The breath of his deep chuckle hitting your pussy and you shiver. “I’m leaking in my pants. I need you. Badly.”
He took his time but he laid you out on the couch, looking at the amount of your arousal that ran down your legs. He watched your pussy twitch, using his fingers he spread you open, clenching around the cool empty air. “Fuck,” you already looked fucked out and he haven’t even been inside of you yet.
Sliding his thick cock between your wet folds he felt you tremble. Tapping the head against your clit, he felt you jolt and he slowly slid inside of you. Your walls sucking him in and squeezing him tightly.
He groans, almost collapsing on top of you and you dig your nails into his back, wrapping your legs around his waist.
“Wanted you for so long.” He kisses you quick and laced your fingers together, squeezing your hand. “It’s so wet inside of you, feels so fucking good.” Stretching and carving your insides to only fit his shape. Everything sounded underwater as he continued to pound inside of you. “You’re so perfect. So pretty. Fuck.” He angled his hips before thrusting faster inside of you. “So tight, so pretty, so mine.” He purred, licking up your throat and sucking; leaving a trail of hickies in his wake.
“Eren, oh god.” You breathe, worked up. He brings your legs from his waist and bring them closer to your head, forcing his cock even deeper inside of you.
“Think I’m in love withchu…” His thrusts are strong and now your feet dangling over your head, you couldn’t think straight. “But I think you already know that, hm? Think you love having me wrapped about your fingers.” Meeting every thrust he made, you felt a small bit of squirt splash and soak up his cock as he pulled it out before plunging back inside of you.
Your stomach is twisting and your toes curl heavenly as his dick continues, you push at his chest. “Wait! Eren…I…” You feel even more pressure in your gut and clench around him. “Please… no more.”
Your eyes are watery but Eren doesn’t care, instead he uses the pads of all his fingers and do deep aching rubs on your clit. Writing his name in your clit with your fingers, your thighs shake and then you’re finally cumming all over him and with a few more hard thrusts, he follows with a deep groan of your name.
He lays on top of you for a second to catch his breath before kissing you again. “I like you. Always have.” He huffed.
You bite back a smile. “I like you too…” You tell him shyly.
He gets up and hands you your pretty panties with a smug look. “So will you be my girlfriend?”
You chuckle, “Yeah. Yeah, I’ll be your girlfriend Eren.”
All Eren could think of was that this was his best birthday in a long while. He peppering kisses over your face.
“Alright… birthday boy, put some pants on.” You snicker, looking at his lower half, he was already getting back hard.
“Oh right.” He kissed you again.
2K notes · View notes
chunghasweetie · 15 days
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𝐂𝐀𝐍’𝐓 𝐋𝐄𝐓 𝐈𝐓 𝐆𝐎 | J.JK
— pairing | dom!oc x nerdy sub!jjk
— summary | loser nerd jk has crushed on her for years and is assigned to be her college tutor for her calculus class. studying doesn’t go exactly as planned and he ends up losing his virginity in the best way possible.
— warning | bad writing (i’m doing my best)
virginity loss, cussing, corruption kink, female dom, light dirty talk, belittling, dick sucking, unprotected sex, etc
— word count | 3.5k words
— song suggestion | rush — william singe
His nerves were tingling with anxiety. He had imagined a day like this since he laid eyes on her.
His crush first stemmed from middle school. Then it followed him through high school, and now his college career.
Y/n had always been the typical token super pretty and popular girl. She was funny too, he couldn’t help but giggle to himself when she was making jokes with her friends across the room.
Jungkook was beyond nervous. He’s had a crush on her forever, and now he was standing in front of her home for their very first tutoring session.
Jungkook had arrived at Y/n’s home, exhaling to himself. “I can do this.” He mumbled before knocking on her door.
The door opened and there she was. A short denim mini skirt and a matching top.
He was already done for.
“Oh hey Jungkook.” She smiled, “You’re here already. I didn’t think you’d be early. Come in.”
He feels his heart skip a beat as Y/n opens the door, a genuine smile spreading across his face.
“H-hi! Yes, it's me” He clears his throat. “Thank you for inviting me inside.” He steps inside, taking in the sight of her apartment.
“Of course.” She led him to the dining room table her hips swaying in her mini skirt that showed off her figure beautifully.
His eyes widen and follow her every move, watching as she leads him to the dining room table.
He can't help but feel a rush of excitement as he takes in the sight of her hips swaying in her skirt.
He had never imagined they’d be in such a small space. Alone with her. His heart could almost explode with excitement.
Her home didn’t look much like the google maps photos like he seen online.
“Is right here okay?” She asked him, her table with the notebooks and studying material she needed already set up.
He swallows hard and nods, feeling his cheeks heat up. “I-It’s fine.”
The two sat at her table studying, Jungkook using more complex language than she was used to.
She could grasp some of it, but Y/n wasn’t necessarily the strongest in the subject.
“I’ve always sucked at math. Let alone calculus.” She laughed. “It must be nice to know everything.”
He chuckles nervously, shaking his head. “No, not everything. Just... some things. Math is definitely my strong suit.” He takes a deep breath, gathering his composure before turning his attention to her math homework “Okay, let's continue.”
She simply nodded. She leaned closer to him, reading the book that was further in his direction.
Her breasts were huge. He wondered how her posture managed to stay so straight with those jugs weighing her down.
Her right breast was pressed against his shoulder, driving him crazy.
He tries to focus on the homework, but finds himself distracted by her low cut top and her large breasts on view.
He can't help but glance, feeling his face flush with embarrassment as he realizes she might notice. “Uh, so... uh...”
“Are you okay?” Y/n asked him.
“Yes.” He cleared his throat.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, yes I'm fine. It's just... uh... hot in here.” He tries to refocus on her homework assignment, but his mind keeps drifting to her body and how close she's standing next to him.
“I’ll go turn the ac on” She got up, hips swaying as she went to turn on the AC. She eventually came back. “Better?” She sat back down.
‘Someone kill me.’ Jungkook thought to himself.
He tries to focus on the books and studying material, but his gaze keeps drifting back to her exposed thighs and the way her skirt rides up
He nods, grateful for the cooler air. He watches as she sits back down next to him, hips swaying in a way that makes his heart race.
“This is so hard” She groaned. “Calculus is so difficult.”
He nods in agreement, trying to stifle a smile at her cute groan. “Yeah, uh... It can be tough sometimes.”
He starts going over the problem with her, letting his hand rest on hers gently as he points out what she did wrong.
“I think it’s the table.” She tells him. “I focus more on my bed, it’s where I’m most comfortable. Jungkook, would you be okay studying there with me?” Y/n suggested.
His heart races at the thought of having her in a more private setting, but he knows he shouldn't let his crush get the best of him.
He nods and starts gathering the homework assignments and books. “Yeah— sure, let's move to the couch.”
She smirked to herself on the way to her bedroom. Her plan was working perfectly, and working quicker than she expected.
His eyes widened at her room. He was finally inside. He always seen a few corners when he was stalking her Instagram late at night, but now being there in person sent him over the edge.
It was so her. The decorations, the layout, the scent. It was perfectly her.
“Much better” She sat down on her bed, starting to write in her notes with him.
He watches as she writes, trying not to get too distracted by the way her hair falls over her shoulders and the way she bites her lip in concentration.
He clears his throat and starts going over the problems again, trying to focus on the homework instead of his crush.
About an hour had passed of them studying, and she was beyond bored. Y/n was over hearing about stupid questions she had no interest in finding the solution for.
“Like I said, when you plug in the formula—“
“Don’t you have a girlfriend waiting on you?” Y/n interrupted him. “You’ve been here for a while.”
“I-I don’t have one.” He swallowed. “And I told the professor I’d spend as much time as needed for you to pass.”
He was still talking about school, making her boredom increase. “Do you do anything outside of school?” She changed the topic.
He blinks at her, surprised by the sudden question. He fidgets with his glasses and stammers a bit before answering. “I...I go to the internet cafe with my friends and do coding and stuff.. I help code games and such. It's...it's not very exciting, but it keeps me busy.”
“Cute.” She chuckled. “So you’re like a full time nerd?”
He blushes at her teasing and nods, looking down at his hands. “Y-yes, I suppose you could say that. I do enjoy learning and electronics...and working on computers gives me a chance to use my skills to help others. It's...it's important to me.“
“Is that why you’re single?” She asked him. “Too busy studying and programming?”
He nodded.
Wasn’t necessarily the entire truth. Some of the other girls at the cafe definitely took an interest but he was all about you.
He was a quiet guy but he always spoke up about you. All of his friends at the internet cafe knew about his crush on you. He would be teased daily because well, look at him and you.
He didn’t care. He knew from the start it wasn’t realistic considering the crowds you stuck around with.
Jungkook would rather be at home with his computer while you’d be parting with sororities and frat boys.
“You’re a busy guy hm? Well when was the last time you’ve had a girlfriend?” Y/n asked him, moving the text books as she inched closer.
“I-I— Well.” He swallowed, “I’ve never had one before..” He itched the back of his neck.
Her eyes widened. “You can’t be serious.”
“It just— never happened.” He told her.
“That’s just so hard to believe.” She analyzed him with her feline like eyes.. “I think you’re really handsome and cute.”
“Really?” His voice came out a lot louder than he meant to, clearing his throat. “Y-You do?”
She nodded, “I always have.” She suddenly climbed on his lap, making Jungkook let out a slight gasp in surprise.
He looks up at her in surprise, his heart beating faster at her words. He stammers out a thank you, feeling his face heat up again. “I...I'm...I'm glad you think so...”
“It’s okay if I sit here right?” She asked, making him nod rather quickly.
“Good.” She giggled. “So you’ve never had a girlfriend… you at least have lost your virginity right?”
Jungkook looked away shyly. “N-No..”
She had always had the reputation of being the popular pretty girl. Her entire friend group and social circle was like that. So naturally it was expected for her to end up with a frat guy.
Y/n had been with a few, and was absolutely bored out of her mind. They were cocky and disgusting, seeming to like their bros more than actual women.
She had no interest in anyone like that.
She always had a thing for nerdy and loser men who looked like they had never had a chance with losing their virginity.
Her friends were always teasing her about her type. No one could understand how she could really be attracted to a guy like that.
Y/n noticed Jungkook towards her sophomore year of high school. He had always been attractive to her but she really took a notice to him at that time.
He was tall, handsome, and quiet. Super shy. The only time she had seen him really talk was during a history presentation when he had to read off some slides.
Her horny teenage brain definitely took notice towards the bulge in his pants whenever she looked his way.
Y/n was always with her friend group and Jungkook was always in way better and smarter classes than her. He never had any social media either, so she never had the chance to really make a move on him.
It was now their junior year in college and once she heard he was assigned to be her tutor, she had to do something.
Jungkook had hardly ever kissed a girl. A girl pecked his lips in his junior year of high school and he absolutely hated it.
Hated it because it wasn’t her.
She shifts on his lap. “That’s so cute. Are you waiting for someone to take it?”
He nodded quickly. He was hard as a rock. Her skirt was practically all the way lifted as she sat on his lap, driving him insane.
“Mm I’d be honored to volunteer.” She suggested.
“T-Take it— P-please.” He was practically whimpering out to her.
She didn’t waste her time, leaning forward to kiss his lips. She wasn’t too rough on him, but she definitely was working her lips on his.
“Gonna make you feel real good.” She smacked her lips against his, grabbing his hands, placing them over her ass cheeks. “Grab it okay?”
Jungkook bent his fingers, now holding her ass in his hands.
She traveled her lips down to the crook of his neck, creating a trail of dark hickeys.
Y/n was grinding on his lap with her skirt on as she marked up his neck. “No hickeys before either?”
There was no way this was really happening. Jungkook could go into shock. This was even better than he had ever imagined.
His breathing becomes heavier and heavier as she grinds on his lap, feeling the friction between their bodies.
He moans as she marks up his neck, his mind clouded with pleasure. He whimpers as she asks about hickeys, shaking his head slightly. “N-no...”
“You’re so much more vocal than I imagined. and I’m just kissing you.” She giggled.
He blushes profusely as she speaks about his vocalness, feeling embarrassed at how turned on he is by her touch.
He looks up at her as she pulls away from his neck, seeing the marks she left on his skin.
“So cute..” She pulled away from his neck. “All marked up, it looks intense.” She grabbed her handheld mirror, showing him what she did to him.
He gulps, reaching up to touch them gently. seeing the marks she left on his skin. He gulps, reaching up to touch them gently.
“You’re comfy right baby?” She asked him, making sure he was at ease while she tainted him.
“I-I’m fine.” He shakes his head, leaning into her touch as she runs her fingers through his hair. “N-no... it just... makes me want more... of you...” He confesses, feeling vulnerable and honest in front of her.
“You’re more than ready to lose your virginity huh baby?” She baby talked him. “Poor baby wants to be touched so bad.”
He blushes deeply at her words, nodding slowly. He's been a virgin for so long and he wants nothing more than to experience it with her.
“Y-yes...” He stammers, his voice barely above a whisper. I want to... be with you...”
“I’m almost there sweetheart. You’re doing so good being patient for me.” She comforted, seeing how whiny and desperate he was. It didn’t help that he was incredibly hard under her.
Her praises were driving him insane and she hadn’t even took his pants off yet. “Wha— What now?” He asks softly, hoping he doesn't sound too desperate.
She was practically drooling over the sight of him. His dick had been teasing her for centuries through his jeans, and she finally had it at her disposal.
He lets out a involuntary gasp as she unzips his pants and pulls out his dick. He blushes as she compliments him on his size. He never thought anyone would say that about him. “I-it's not that big...”
“You’re so humble.” She smirked. “I don’t even think I’ll be able to fit it inside me or my mouth.” She chuckled. “Let me know if it’s too much. Mm gonna sit on it first okay? Don’t have a condom so you’re going to have to pull out when you feel it okay?”
He nodded eagerly. “I-I’ll try my best.”
“That’s all I can ask of you.” She latched her lips onto his lips once more before sliding herself onto him, making their lips disconnect from their moans.
He was a mess from the start. Her pussy was so tight and wet, driving him insane.
He had always imagined what it would feel like but this was even better.
“O-Oh wow.” He whined, “F-Feels so t-tight”
Y/n bounced on him slowly, allowing him to feel all of her.
“It’s good huh baby?” Y/n cooed. “You’re so big baby”
“Mmph— it’s so wet—“ He whimpered.
He lets out a gasp, his hands instinctively reaching out to grab onto her hips for support. "F-fuck!"
She was moving her hips in a rhythmic motion that sent waves of pleasure coursing through his entire body. He moans softly, biting his lip to keep from making too much noise.
Y/n took a notice of his actions. “Don’t want you being quiet. I’ve waited so long to have you like this.” She stopped moving on top of him.
Jungkook's eyes snap open as Y/n stops moving, his cock throbbing with need and frustration at the sudden lack of stimulation.
He looks up at her with a desperate expression, pleading for her to continue with his actions. "P-please..."
She grabbed his neck subtly, not enough to really hurt him. She turned his chin to the side, “Covered you in so many hickeys, all for you to be quiet now?”
Jungkook's heart races as Y/n grabs his neck, a small whimper escaping his lips at the touch. He looks at her with a mixture of surprise and arousal, his mind racing at the sudden change in her demeanor. "I-I'm sorry...”
“What’re you going to do differently if I keep moving?” She growled into his ear. “Tell me. Use that pretty mouth.”
Jungkook's breath hitches as Y/n growls in his ear, his heart pounding in his chest. He swallows hard, trying to find the words to answer her question. "I-I'll... I'll make more noise...”
“Good boy…” She began moving again, “Mm— feels so good” Y/n moaned into his ear.
Jungkook's eyes roll back in pleasure as Y/n begins moving again, her moans in his ear sending chills down his spine.
He grips the sheets beneath him tightly, his body trembling with need as she bouncing on him. "F-fuck...I— never imagined p-pussy would be this good”
His desperate pleas sent her over the edge. She loved how he was so whiny and desperate all for her.
“Never baby?” She hummed, her voice sensually whispering against his ear.
Jungkook lets out a low groan as Y/n’s words register in his head, his mind filled with filthy thoughts. He nods his head, unable to find the words to speak. "N-no... I never thought... f-fuck..."
He was absolutely pussydrunk, the feeling of his cock being sunk into her pussy made him go insane.
If he was already obsessed with her before, he knew he was absolutely fucked now. “I-I m-might… mmgh…”
She knew how lost he was in her pussy, knowing he was close to cumming at any second.
She quickly got up off his cock, making him whimper at the sudden separation.
“Can’t have you cum inside baby.” She hushed him, knowing he was about to complain.
“I-I want to cum so bad— Please let me” He whined.
“You’re gonna cum baby. I wouldn’t do that to you.” She made her way off his lap.
She got in between his legs and on her knees. “Gonna suck you off pretty boy.”
She had no problem sucking him off after he was just inside of her. She opened her mouth, licking his tip to test the waters.
He can't help but moan as she licks his tip. He doesn't know what came over him, he bites his lip as she starts bobbing her head up and down on him.
He lets out a deep moan as she takes him all in. He's never felt anything like this before. He tries to hold back, but he can feel himself already getting close. He whined, warning her that he's about to cum.
She let him cum all in her mouth, not dare wasting a single drop as she swallowed.
He couldn’t believe what just happened. He's cumming in her mouth and she's swallowing every drop. He's never felt so satisfied in his life. He pulls out and pants. “Thank you... that was amazing.”
He was so infatuated with her. He had been beating his dick for years, whining and whimpering in his bedroom at merely the idea of his dick being sucked by her.
He blushes and stutters, trying to find the words. He can't believe what just happened.
“Y-you.. it was... amazing. I don't know what to say. Thank you.” He turns to face her, his eyes filled with gratitude as he repeated his thanks.
The two hung out for a bit longer, actually getting her tutoring done. She giggled. “i’ll see you at school tomorrow.” She waved as they bid their goodbyes.
He smiles and nods, still in shock about what happened. “Y-yeah, see you then.” He watches her shut the door, his heart racing with excitement. He can't believe she just sucked his dick, took his virginity, and then he was back to tutoring her.
His dreams finally came true.
༊—
The next day she was walking with her friends, and seemed to pass Jungkook’s friends group. She could hear Jungkook’s friends teasing him.
“Bro you have a hickey?!” They stared at his neck in amazement, adjusting their glasses to look closely.
Like stated, they were nobodies. All of them. Never had any interactions with women in their lives.
Jungkook covers his neck with his hand, trying to hide the hickey. He didn't realize it was so obvious, but he's glad he got it. He can't stop thinking about last night and her. “Sh-shut up gu-guys!”
His face turns bright red, shushing them and trying to avoid any more attention. “F-Fuck this is embarrassing.” He can't help but think about her again and the amazing time they had last night. He's already looking forward to seeing her again and continuing their tutoring sessions.
Y/n’s friends looked over at the boys. “What do you think that’s all about?” They asked amongst themselves.
“Why does it matter? Probably just some boring video game release. Or maybe a new textbook was added to the library!” One of the girls laughed.
Y/n couldn’t help but chuckle to herself, knowing damn well there would be more where that came from.
1K notes · View notes
astonmartinii · 8 months
Text
a wonderful thing [mamma mia part five] | formula one social media au
drivers: sebastian vettel, fernando alonso & jenson button
in this house babies are delivered in the rb8 not by a stork
MASTERLIST | TIPS
yourusername
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liked by jensonbutton, fernandoalo_oficial and 1,203,551
tagged: sebastianvettel, jensonbutton & fernandoalo_oficial
yourusername: welcome to the world florence mia alonso vettel button y/ln ✨ your name may be a mouthful but your our beautiful girl, i can’t wait to give you the world x
view all comments
user1: OH MY GOSH - wait so does she have all of their surnames as her last name?
mickschumacher: i’ve banned them from answering random questions so i will - the official last name is y/ln, with all the guys names as middle names! all three of them wanted flo to have y/n’s last name but a piece of them as well
user2: awww that’s so cute
user3: not her having a nickname already
kimiraikkonen: congratulations guys. i’m so happy for all of you, flo has the best parents she could ask for
yourusername: thank you kimi ☺️ xx
jensonbutton: thank you for everything kimi, mostly for being there to catch seb when he passed out 👍🏻
sebastianvettel: YOU SAID YOU WOULDN’T TELL ANYONE YES I DID PASS OUT BUT IT MADE ME RESPECT WOMEN EVEN MORE I WAS NOT ASKING FOR MORE ATTENTION THAN Y/N WHO WAS LITERALLY GIVING BIRTH
jensonbutton: yeah i’m not reading all of that
yourusername: don’t worry seb i know you were just overwhelmed
sebastianvettel: NOT MORE THAN YOU I AM PROUD OF YOU
fernandoalo_oficial: when will you let this go… you’re just squeamish, it’s cute
user4: wait is she called mia after the mamma mia summer?
user5: that’s kind of hilarious
danielricciardo: ahhhhhhh she’s here !!!!! i can’t wait to meet flo and i hope everyone is recovering well xx p.s. max i shall swing round to your garage to pick up my £50 next race xoxo
yourusername: thank you danny x p.s. what did you bet on?
danielricciardo: NOTHING
maxverstappen1: he bet that seb would pass out during the birth 👍🏻
sebastianvettel: DANIEL?
yourusername: max?
maxverstappen1: i had faith seb
sebastianvettel: at least someone did
fernandoalo_oficial: she’s so beautiful she takes after her mama
yourusername: thank you nando ☺️ (it’s a good thing we did not do a paternity test, cause lord knows you’d all argue who gave what to flo)
sebastianvettel: well we ALL know she’ll have my impeccable manners
jensonbutton: and my unbelievable charm
fernandoalo_oficial: and lord knows she’ll never lose an argument on the playground, flo will have the alonso sass
yourusername: sounds like a winning combination if you throw in the patience of dealing with all three of you
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sebastianvettel
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liked by jensonbutton, fernandoalo_oficial and 1,348,445 others
sebastianvettel: beyond proud to be flo's dad and beyond grateful to y/n for letting me be a part of flo's and her life x
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user6: I AM SO SOFT
user7: holy moly look how small her hands are crying 😭 🥹
yourusername: i have no doubt you'll be just the dad flo needs
sebastianvettel: i'll try my best
yourusername: don't stress yourself out you're a natural so far
jensonbutton: he didn't even bat an eyelid when flo threw up all over him
fernandoalo_oficial: he only cried for about five minutes when flo first held his hand
user8: okay they're ganging up on seb @yourusername @mickschumacher @kimirakkonen spill the beans on the others please
yourusername: jenson was shaking so much that flo's name is barely legible on her birth certificate
yourusername: fernando was so excited about feeding flo for the first time on his own that he spilt half of the milk and then slipped in it (thankfully he'd already put flo down)
mickschumacher: fernando watched her sleep for so long that he physically got cramp and had to be carried to bed
kimiraikkonen: jenson had a 27 step plan to introduce flo and beckett and he was so nervous waiting for labour to start that he walked me through it THREE times
sebastianvettel: okay now i feel better
charles_leclerc: i am so so happy for you guys, i can't wait to meet her !!
yourusername: thank you charlie, turns out AUS23 is the perfect lullaby for flo, she falls asleep as soon as we turn it on
charles_leclerc: hopefully i can play the one i've written for her as soon as possible
sebastianvettel: charlie, i am so touched. i am glad to be called your grid dad
charles_leclerc: and now we're all crying
jensonbutton: i didn't know you could get any cuter, but you reading flo a book about flower classification melted my old man heart
fernandoalo_oficial: i caught him reading her your book and i won't lie i did cry a bit
yourusername: don't forget when he crawled around bumping into everything possible to check if it was "properly babyproofed"
sebastianvettel: when did we all become such saps?
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jensonbutton
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liked by sebastianvettel, estebanocon and 703,445 others
tagged: yourusername, charles_leclerc & maxverstappen1
jensonbutton: i didn't know that dad duties included comforting our crying 26 year olds as well as flo
view all comments
user11: someone sedate me i am so not normal about this
yourusername: i'd actually say that flo is better behaved than them
sebastianvettel: i agree
fernandoalo_oficial: i must say watching mad max cry his eyes out holding flo is one of my favourite things ever
jensonbutton: it pains me to say but they're so sweet
yourusername: fatherhood has softened you all
user12: they are never defeating the grid kid allegations i fear
user13: applying to be godfather when they're just the overgrown kids LMAO
charles_leclerc: acting like you guys didn't all bawl your eyes out when i played flo's lullaby :(
yourusername: you're right i did cry it was very beautiful charles, thank you
jensonbutton: it was very touching, you're a menace but a thoughtful menace
sebastianvettel: you make me proud to be called your grid dad :)
fernandoalo_oficial: it was a very kind gesture (you will need to pay me back somehow for now having to get a piano delivered? how does one get a piano through the door?)
charles_leclerc: NOW I'M CRYING AGAIN GOD I LOVE YOU GUYS
maxverstappen1: kids are my weakness !!! and mia is so so cute, thank you for having me :(
yourusername: you were great with her maxy, i know you doubted yourself but you're a natural !!
jensonbutton: you're always welcome at ours (though we don't have any more room for trophies, so take them home first)
fernandoalo_oficial: oh maxy, you're a big softy really. it's okay we can all cry on the flight to the next race
sebastianvettel: you're free to be as present as you wish with flo, and free to let us help heal your inner child :)
maxverstappen1: how are you guys all so good at being parents already?
user13: obsessed with max calling her mia when everyone else calls her flo
maxverstappen1: i love mia so much but i also love to remind her parents how they got into this situation
charles_leclerc: this is such a good point
jensonbutton: really? on a post about how much we love all three of you
user14: i'm crying over max being super nervous to hold flo and being assured by all of them (and maybe charles)
yourusername: oh they looked like an old married couple it was very cute
fernandoalo_oficial
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liked by yourusername, lancestroll and 1,094,334 others
tagged: valterribottas, astonmartinf1
fernandoalo_oficial: my paternity leave came to an end wayyyy too fast, but thank you to y/n and seb and jenson for giving me the best present in the world. florence is the most precious girl in the world and there's nothing i won't do for her. for a long time i never thought i'd be a father or that i'd even find love, thank you for showing me that i can <3
view all comments
user15: user15 found dead, cause: fernando alonso being TOO FUCKING CUTE
valterribottas: fatherhood suits you
yourusername: did he show you all 200+ pics of flo
valterribottas: yes. multiple times
fernandoalo_oficial: I LOVE MY BABY OKAY
yourusername: we miss you already :( and we love you so much, you deserve this and more
fernandoalo_oficial: i'm so glad i went to greece this summer, i can't believe i nearly went to australia
aussiegrit: i'm so happy for you nando but you're literally bragging about ditching me :(
fernandoalo_oficial: sorry not sorry it was worth it
markwebber: you're such a mean girl . DON'T FORGET we ALL know i was your first love in f1
jensonbutton: you snooze you lose mark hold this L
aussiegrit: i'm literally married
sebastianvettel: tell that to all of your homoerotic tension with half of the grid
aussiegrit: the only thing i wanted to put near your ass is my FOOT
yourusername: okay clearly fatherhood has not completely softened all of you
user16: i see we took like a month to be responsible adults and now normal service is resumed
maxverstappen1: lestappen erasure once again and after you guys just proclaimed us as your children .... i see
charles_leclerc: youngest child being the favourite, some things never change
yourusername: yall finished projecting?
fernandoalo_oficial: you guys literally slept the entire flight? you would've bitten my head off if i had woken you up for anything other than getting off
charles_leclerc: nuh uh my instagram grind never stops
maxverstappen1: we want a feature on our only active grid dad's instagram SUE US
user17: fernando may be away from flo but he's never not on dad watch
sebastianvettel: don't miss us too much and bring home number 33
jensonbutton: i support you whole heartedly but we don't have the wall space for another trophy right now
fernandoalo_oficial: well get to chopping
yourusername: i have faith in you hence why i already got flo's baby hard hat out
user18: BABY HARD HAT???
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yourusername
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liked by maxverstappen1, mickschumacher and 1,415,099 others
tagged: sebastianvettel, jensonbutton & fernandoalo_oficial
yourusername: i felt really lost in my life this summer and decided to take a little trip to a greek island. there i met three great men, but knew it was likely that i'd never see them again. yet here we are, in love and with the biggest bundle of joy i could ever ask for. i love you all and can't wait for the rest of our lives.
view all comments
user23: bro why is MY ass crying i don't know these people but this is adorable and i'm so happy for you
alexalbon: this has been my favourite thing this year and i couldn't think of four better people to have this happiness
yourusername: thank you albono, we'll be visiting the zoo soon, flo is super attached to her horsey plush
fernandoalo_oficial: i'm so glad i met you and i'm so glad you let us in on this insane journey
yourusername: there's no one else i'd rather live through this chaos with
user24: i don't think there's anything like the mamma mia summer to bring the entire grid together
jensonbutton: being with you guys makes retirement the sweet life, i couldn't have asked for a better hand in life
yourusername: there's no other way i'd like to start my day than bagel runs with you
sebastianvettel: after i announced my retirement i thought i'd float around aimlessly trying to find another purpose in life. i don't know how we got to this but i wouldn't change it for the world, i love all three of you and florence so so so much
yourusername: i'm sure we can balance beekeeping with being a full-time dad
user25: flo having four parents who would do anything for her i'm so jealous
maxverstappen1: you guys are so precious, counting down the days until i see mia again
yourusername: respecting the commitment to using mia
maxverstappen1: you chose mia, right? you knew what you were doing
yourusername: sue me.
sebastianvettel: you knowingly named our daughter after mamma mia?
yourusername: how is it with the shoe on the other foot ??? at least mia isn't as obvious as BECKETT
jensonbutton: beckett is NOT OBVIOUS
fernandoalo_oficial: wait how did we not catch on???
yourusername: mia is a cute name !!!
sebastianvettel: maybe max and charles get their scheming from you
charles_leclerc: i do NOT SCHEME
yourusername: ummmmm sebastian your number one boy name was enzo... i may not know f1 but even i know that ENZO IS ENZO FERRARI YOU ARE NOT SLICK
sebastianvettel: damn tough crowd
user26: god i wish they publicised their arguments about naming like they did with the godfathers
user27: i just know those lists were heinous those men should not be allowed to name anything ever
fernandoalo_oficial: ummm actually i suggested florence
yourusername: we BOTH suggested florence
jensonbutton: i highlighted it first in the book
yourusername: NO YOU DIDN'T
sebastianvettel: i'm staying out of this one
user26: thanks for this little highlight reel 👍
note: AAHHHHHHHH PART FIVE i hope we are happy with the name choice, thank you for all of your amazing suggestions. i cannot remember who exactly suggested florence but i loved it so much esp cause flo is such a cute nickname !!! but also big shoutout to @evilsailorsenshi for the mia suggestion i had to make it a middle name to do the series justice x
do not fear this is not the end, i plan on following this lil family for a good while, so i hope this is a good fill of mamma mia content for now.
hopefully i got everyone on the taglist! - also, everyone who replied to my post about life, i am still getting back to people but thank you so much, i love this lil community so much !! please never be afraid to reach out to me if need be i'm always up for a chat!
taglist: taglist: @boiohboii @vellicora @faithm120601 @raizelchrysanderoctavius @luv4kani @eugene-emt-roe @magical-spit @ironmaiden1313 @jaydaaasworld @whoreks @rainerax @nonsensical-nonsence @laneyspaulding19 @chelseyyouraverageluigi @lxclerc @gemofthenight @woweewoowa @tagteamedbitch@imagandom@mypage-myfandoms@mehrmonga@asparklysoul @unstableplant @motorsp0rt@multilovebot@lili-flower03 @its-elias-world @jolixtreesunn@nothingfuninthislife@rileynicol3@kodzuvk@mochimommy2002@fluffyspaceprincess@roseseraj@black-swan-blog27@nyrasslut@justdreamersdream@asfaraslifegets@why4anne@ineffableperson@leilanixx@lunyyx @pupbistro @gaypoetsblog@rafaaoli@champomiel@sadsierra2 @rainerax @lokietro @thecubanator2 @nzygftoji @rockyhayzkid @nmw-am @slytherheign @erikasurfer @turn-around-look-at-what-you-see @greigreyhiyyih @duck-duck-goose-18 @dark-night-sky-99 @ironcowboycopnickel @sizzlingghostoperatorbagel @2bormaybenot @42ndbrokencompass @whotfisvale @lichterfee @sticksdoesart @glitterf1 @turn-around-look-at-what-you-see
2K notes · View notes
moonstruckme · 7 months
Note
i am so BUMMED when i realized ive read all of your polymarauders works. can i get more of them please? especially the one like the 'casual dominance' fic omgg. that one made me feel THINGS. btw!!! congrats on reaching the 1k mark. totally deserved <33
-🥀
Wow babe, that's a lot! I'm really glad you're enjoying them! I know I've written a few since you sent this in, but I decided to treat this as a request for specifically casual dom!marauders because I'm weak for them too :*
poly!marauders x fem!reader ♡ 1.1k words
Your teeth chatter as you step out of the fastest shower of your life, barely drying yourself off before starting on your makeup. You’re so dumb. You’re so, so dumb. Of course it’d be the night before your presentation that you’d accidentally set your alarm for PM instead of AM. How many times had you stirred, thought about getting up, and decided to wait until your alarm went off? It had only been when you’d woken to an empty bed, sunlight coming in through the window, that you’d realized. 
You’re still running on the adrenaline of that waking jolt, now mixed with the extra edginess from your frigid shower since you couldn’t afford to wait for the water to warm. You probably won’t be late, but you’re definitely going to be late by pre-presentation standards. You’d planned to get there a half hour in advance to set up and mentally prepare. Now you’re going to have ten minutes at best, and that’s only if you can get out the door in the next few. You finish with your makeup—your hair’s just going to have to dry on the way—and turn to where you’d hung your pre-selected and Sirius-vetted presentation outfit the night before. The hangers sit empty. 
You go into the bedroom, hoping one of the boys had laid them out on the bed while you’d been in the shower. Nothing. Just your socks and shoes where you’d left them by the bedroom door. 
“Shit,” you mutter to yourself, pulling the socks on because you can do that, at least. “Shit shit shit!” 
You take off down the stairs, relieved to see Sirius on his way up. “Hey! Do you know where—” your foot hits too close to the edge of one step, slipping down to the next. It seems inclined to keep going, but Sirius’ hands catch you around the waist. 
“Shit, baby.” He looks down at your feet as you get them under you again, eyebrows drawn together. “Running down the stairs is already bad enough, but with socks on?” 
“Do you know where my presentation outfit went?” you ask in a rush. 
Sirius blinks. “No. It’s not where you left it?” You shake your head and decide this conversation is no longer a productive use of your time, moving past him. “Don’t run,” he says after you, and you slow to a slight hustle down the remaining steps. 
You practically skid into the kitchen, where Remus is just about to sit down at the table with his cup of coffee and James is running the blender. You raise your voice to be heard over it. “Do either of you know where my presentation outfit went?” 
James stops the blender. “Morning to you too, sweetheart. Everything okay?” 
You feel like you could burst into tears, but that would just waste more time. Why is no one cooperating with your need for efficiency?
“I’m going to be late!” you stress to James, turning around to survey the kitchen, the living room, like they’ll just be hanging in some random corner where you somehow forgot them. “I need my clothes, have you seen them?”
“Dove.” Remus sets his coffee down to take you by the shoulders. “Breathe. You’ve got time.” 
You exhale, trying not to twitch as your skin crawls with urgency, or to lecture him on how little time you actually have. Remus watches you patiently. His hands slide up to either side of your face once you no longer seem like a flight risk, thumb stroking your cheek. 
“Your outfit’s in the dryer,” he says in a soothing voice, still holding you as if to keep you from running off. “I was warming it up while you were in the shower.” 
Your next inhale scrapes on the way in, a grateful pressure building behind your eyes. “Rem, that’s so sweet,” you say. “Thank you.” 
Remus gives you a smile and a little shrug, more casual than the faint pinkness of his cheeks would suggest. He lets his hands skim back down your neck, giving your upper arms a light squeeze. “Why don’t you let it finish running while you have your breakfast, yeah? That way there’s no risk of spilling on it.” 
You shake your head, aware this won’t go over well but too anxious to worry much about it. “I don’t have time for breakfast,” you tell him. “I need to catch the bus in, like—” Your eyes search for a moment before landing on the microwave clock. “—five minutes.” 
“I’ll drive you,” Sirius says, rolling up the sleeves of his shirt as he comes back downstairs.
You glance at the microwave clock again in case you read it wrong the first time. “You can’t,” you say. “You’ll be late.” 
Sirius shrugs. “I don’t have a presentation. They’ll deal with it.” 
You look to Remus, expecting him to object to Sirius’ proposed tardiness, but he only nods, sitting down with his coffee. 
“Are…are you sure?” you ask Sirius, trying to adjust to the sudden non-urgency of your situation. 
“It’s no problem,” he promises you. “Stop looking so upset, honey, just eat your breakfast.” 
“Drink your breakfast, is more like it,” James says proudly, coming in from the kitchen to pass you a glass of whatever he’d been concocting in the blender. It’s a murky brown-green, and you try not to wrinkle your nose for James’ sake. 
“Thanks.” You take it from him tentatively. “It’s…it’s a smoothie?” 
James laughs at your expression, and you think you hear Remus snort into his coffee. “Yes, it’s a smoothie. The color’s because of the chocolate protein powder and the spinach, but it’s got fruit, too, don’t worry.” 
You swirl the glass a bit, assessing the color. “Why so much spinach?”
James sets a hand on your shoulder, encouraging you into your chair as he joins the three of you at the table with a smoothie of his own. “Iron, sweetheart.” He casts a pointed glance at your legs, spotted here and there with purple-and-yellow blotches of skin. “Seems like need it. You’re bruising like a peach lately.” 
Remus hums in agreement as you take a tentative sip of the smoothie. It’s not bad, though you can feel little bits of spinach sticking to your teeth. You make a mental note to have Sirius check your smile before you get out of the car later.
“And I saw that look in your eyes when you stood up too fast from the couch yesterday,” Remus says, quirking an eyebrow when you look at him in surprise. “You’re not as subtle as you think, dove.” 
You bring the glass to your lips again to avoid making a response. Sirius laughs, and when you smile sheepishly, his grin turns goofy. “Hold it there,” he says, taking your jaw in hand. You keep your smile in place as his eyes narrow. “Front tooth on the left. My left.” You lick at the piece of spinach, and he nods, dropping his hand. 
“Knew I could count on you,” you tell him. “Thanks, Siri.” 
Sirius pecks you on the cheek. “S’what I’m here for, gorgeous.”
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ktgoodmorning · 1 month
Text
Annoying
Aitana Bonmati x ADHD!reader
This is just my experience as someone with ADHD, I know it doesn't speak for everyone!
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Masterlist
You were rushing around your house, trying to get ready for the day as fast as you possibly could, already borderline late for training as you ran around grabbing things. Aitana had gone early for media duties which left you to barely scrape yourself together in time, even though you had an extra hour to do so. Usually when she was around you could just match her morning routine in a way that made your own go much more smoothly. Without her, somehow no matter what you did or how much time you gave yourself, you always ended up running around like this, praying you didn’t forget anything. 
It wasn’t until you reached for your keys to leave that you noticed Aitana had left a sticky note on top of them for you:
"Phone, Bag, Boots, Change of clothes, Coffee, Take your meds
I love you, see you soon!  -A"
Her note made you pause momentarily, the first time you did since you left your bed this morning. You were beyond grateful for Aitana and the way she helped you out. You never asked her to, but over the course of your relationship she had learned the things you struggled with and slowly started to do things like this to try to help. Usually it worked. Sometimes you got too used to her notes and reminders that you started ignoring them and she had to find a new way to catch your attention, but she almost always managed to succeed. 
You read through her note quickly to double check everything. Your hand tapped your pocket, making sure you felt your phone. Your bag was on your shoulder which you partially unzipped to double check that your boots and clothes were there. The travel mug that Aitana had given you as a gift when you first started dating was in your free hand, but your meds. Of course you forgot your meds. Somehow after years of taking them you still forgot at times, instantly running back to grab one before heading to training. 
Your drive to the stadium worked to reset your mood, somehow dragging you out of the stressed and frantic state you had been in just moments earlier. The second you parked, you bound into the stadium with a kind of pep in your step that only you had. Your head was buried in your phone, doing who knows what, as you quickly made your way to the locker room, only stopping when you narrowly avoided running into Mapi. 
“Aye, watch where you’re going, amiga! What’s got you in such a rush?” 
“I don’t know, just in a good mood I guess! Excited to see Tana and for a good day of training. The weather’s beautiful out today, I think it’ll be a good day. Maybe after training I’ll just lay out in the sun for a while. Or maybe I’ll go on a walk or something with Tana. I don’t know, it’s just beautiful out, I’m so excited!”
The defender shook her head at you with a light laugh, very used to your chatty nature. She was probably your best friend on the team, after Aitana of course. At times, Mapi was the only one who could keep up with you. It made for the perfect double dates that allowed you and Mapi to talk each other’s ears off while your girlfriends could do some bonding of their own. Both Aitana and Ingrid loved to see the way you could match each other’s energy in ways that nobody else could. “Maybe you should back off the coffee, I feel like you get more and more hyper every time I see you.” 
“Maps, we both know that won’t help. The coffee barely does anything, it’s more just a habit at this point.” She nodded in agreement, knowing you were right. You’d tried coming off caffeine before and it never did a lot; the coffee just helped you regulate and get into your morning routine, something that you could desperately use the help with. 
As you pushed open the door to the locker room, you bounced right to your girlfriend to greet her with a hug. “Tana! Good morning! How was media?”
“It was okay.” she gave you a small shrug as she pulled away, “How was your morning? Did you get my note?” 
“Yes, I did! I definitely would have forgotten my meds without it, so thank you.” 
“Well I’m glad it helped! Your drive was okay?” 
“Oh my gosh yes! I found this new podcast I was listening to. It was so interesting you wouldn’t believe it.” You sat down next to her, starting to put on your boots and get ready for training as you continued talking, filling her in on all the details you found interesting while she just listened. Somehow Aitana never got tired of listening to you talk. She loved the way you got so excited about such random, seemingly small things, that most people wouldn’t care much about, even if she hardly understood what it was you were talking about. 
As you made your way out to start training for the day, you continued to speak eagerly, almost yelling unintentionally. Aitana was fully focused on you, while those around you half-listened, amazed by her ability to keep up with you. When you got excited about whatever you were talking about, you often gradually increased your volume as well as the speed you spoke at so it was always easy for everyone around you to hear, as long as they could keep up. 
.
After your outdoor team training session on the pitch, you all made your way inside and cleaned up a little to eat lunch. You sat at a table with Aitana, Mapi, Ingrid, Frido, and Esmee- your typical “family” on the team. The entire time you ate, your leg was bouncing relentlessly.
 As soon as she noticed it, Aitana laid a hand gently on your knee to get your attention so she could give you a questioning look as her way of seeing if you were okay. You responded with a short nod, but the anxiety was still clear on your face. 
Your girlfriend had mastered the art of leaning into your side in a way that let her talk to you more discreetly, “What’s wrong, mi tesoro?” 
You gave her a small shrug in response, not quite sure how to put it into words yourself. “I don’t know, I’m exhausted from this morning but also feel like I have so much energy I might explode so I can’t quite figure out how to fix it.” This feeling wasn’t all that uncommon for you, something everyone was quite used to seeing cause you frustration. 
“Want to go on a short walk or something? Get out your energy?” 
“I don’t know. I don’t think that’ll do it. I feel like I need to do some sprints or something but I know that’s a bad idea after everything we did in training today, so I’ll just get over it. I’ll be fine.”
She looked unsure at you, knowing that after lunch you had a team meeting where you’d be sitting to watch film and talk game tactics. That long period of sitting and listening wasn’t going to be easy for you if you were full of pent up energy but she knew that you knew yourself better than she did. Pushing you never worked well and typically just filled you with more frustration so she decided to let it be and just help you out if you had any issues later.
.
The meeting started okay. You weren’t exactly paying close attention but you did when you needed to, and it worked just fine. It was about fifteen minutes into it that Aitana noticed you picking at your nails. It was a habit you had most of your life, and one you constantly claimed you were trying to quit, but just never could. The second she saw it, she placed your hand in yours, just to hold it. It was her way of stopping you from picking without actually calling it out, knowing that would bother you instantly if she did and only make you want to do it more. 
When you took her hand, you used your free one to play around with her fingers. You’d mess with her watch and her rings, just whatever she had on that you could mess with. The two of you had this routine for so long that the feeling of you playing with her hands was almost comforting in a way. She had gotten to a point where she always made sure she had something on that you could use to fidget, whether it was jewelry or even just a simple ponytail holder on her wrist.
But the longer the meeting dragged on, the less you were entertained by whatever was on her hands, eventually returning to destroying your nails. Once again, Aitana was more prepared than you ever realized. Before coming into the room, she had grabbed a random pen she found somewhere and put it in her pocket, knowing you’d have a hard time during this meeting. So the second your hands left hers, she silently passed it to you. 
All you could do was look at her with admiration. You couldn’t believe how good she was to you or how well she knew you. How did she always know exactly what you needed? The dark haired woman gave you a knowing smile before turning back to Jona to listen to him talk, something that encouraged you to do the same while you kept your hands busy with the pen. 
You were glad it was just a random pen off the floor because you broke it just before the meeting wrapped up, something you did a lot. The second you both heard the quiet “snap” of the piece breaking off, Aitana gave you a pointed look while your face immediately turned suspicious, looking at her, somehow trying to feign as if you hadn’t just broken it. Both of you struggled to keep a straight face and hold in your giggles to do your best to keep paying attention and not be a distraction. It was hard to hold in your snickering as you now had two pieces of pen to mess with while the meeting finally came to a close before you could break anything else.
As you left the room, to return to the locker room to going home, your girlfriend giggled at you and your antics. “How do you always end up breaking whatever I give you?”
“I don’t think it’s my fault! I think you just find bad pens!” 
“You know, I don’t think it is! It happens every single time!”
“Tana, did you ever consider that maybe I’m just really strong so-“
“Aitana, how do you put up with this one and her yapping? Do you ever get any peace and quiet or does she talk like this through the night too?” Cata threw her arm around your girlfriend’s shoulders as she joined the two of you. 
You knew she didn’t mean anything by it but the words still made your heart drop. It was one of the things that made you insecure at times even though you were always unable to stop yourself. You annoyed yourself at times with all your talking and often had to work to suppress the voice in your head saying that everyone hated you for it. 
The second the words left her mouth, the rest of the conversation was mute to you, not hearing the way your girlfriend defended you and got harsher with Cata than she normally ever did. You were immediately stuck in a whirlwind of your own thoughts and insecurities which remained there as you showered and changed. 
Unless you had somewhere specific to be, you typically took your time getting ready to go home, stopping to talk to your friends or just getting lost scrolling on your phone. It was because of this that Aitana was shocked when she returned from the showers to see you and all your stuff already gone. Because you had driven separately that morning, she wasn’t worried about you leaving without her, more worried about how out of character this behavior was for you. So she immediately picked up her pace in hopes of getting home as quickly as possible to make sure you were okay.
Aitana noticed right away when you went quiet but wanted to give you some space. Sometimes if she prodded too much, it made you feel like she was parenting you more than being your girlfriend so she wanted to give it some time to see if you’d come to her or sort it out on your own before she pushed you. She hoped maybe your car ride home would work as a “reset” to your mood. 
When Aitana unlocked the door to your shared apartment, she was surprised to find you peacefully asleep on the couch. If she hadn’t known better, she would’ve thought you’d been there for hours based on how comfortable you looked. You liked naps at times, especially when you didn’t feel like facing your emotions so she probably shouldn’t have been as surprised as she was. Deciding to join you, she grabbed a blanket to lay over you and sat down next to you with a book, doing her best not to wake you, even though she knew she would be doing so soon so that you’d have a hope of getting to sleep later that night. 
She let you sleep for about a half hour before gently running a hand over your face and playing with your hair lightly to bring you out of your nap. “Baby, I think you should wake up, otherwise you won’t be able to go to bed tonight.”
All you did was grumble and pull yourself closer to her, not in the mood to be awake and certainly not to be talking right now. “Why don’t you lay here for a few minutes to keep waking up, and I’ll go make you a snack?” 
“Thank you, Tana.” You mumbled with a lazy nod. You knew she was right, and were glad she was giving you the time you needed to get yourself awake, never in the mood to be talking after waking up from a nap. Knowing you didn’t wait for her after training today, it was clear she was going to ask you about it because of how unusual it was for you. You liked to be glued to your girlfriend’s side whenever you could be so it was obvious to her that something was wrong when you voluntarily left on your own. 
When she returned with your food, Aitana was surprised to see that you hadn’t fallen back asleep but were now sitting up, scrolling through your phone, much more awake than when she left a few minutes earlier. She had done this enough times before to know that beating around the bush would only grow your anxiety so as soon as she sat down next to you, she decided to ask. “Hey, what’s going on with you? You’ve been quiet since the end of training today.” 
“I don’t know,” you shrugged, “just tired I guess.” You both knew it was a lie and your lack of eye contact made it even more obvious, but you really weren’t good at opening up unless someone (Aitana) pushed you. 
“Come on, baby, we both know that’s not true, you've been too quiet. What's on your mind, sweetheart?” she gave your knee a reassuring squeeze as you picked around at your food. “Talk to me, you know I just want to help you. If you just want to rant, I’ll listen or if you want a solution to whatever it is, I’ll help you with that too. Just talk to me, please.”
You remained silent, stubbornly doing your best not to give in to her even though you knew you would soon, just biting your nails and avoiding eye contact. “Do you want me to call Mapi and you could talk to her about it? She would always listen if you want that. I just think you should talk about it, that always helps you clear your head and make sense of everything.”
“I don’t want to talk to anyone else right now, I just want you.” You groaned dramatically at how good she was to you and how easily she broke down your walls."The stuff Cata said just kinda got to me earlier. Aita, I feel like I talk too much sometimes and it just feels like I’m so annoying to everyone else." You paused, clearly not telling her the entire story as your voice dropped to a whisper. “And sometimes I get nervous that you’ll realize how annoying I can be and leave.” 
Her face dropped as the words left your mouth, instantly heartbroken over the way you thought about yourself. The dark haired woman moved closer to you, bringing her hands to gently cup the sides of your face. "Love, it is when you go quiet, that I worry about you. It’s not annoying. I- It makes me happy to see you so happy. I love seeing how excited you get when you talk about things you like, it’s adorable. So please, don't ever think that. I would never do that to you, I promise.” 
“Do you promise you don’t get annoyed with me, though?” 
“I absolutely promise that. I love when you talk so fast I can’t keep up or when you accidentally end up yelling cause you’re so excited. I love when you’re bouncing around and giggling and when you talk to me until I fall asleep, or, even better, until you fall asleep and aren’t making sense anymore. I love everything about you, even if you don’t.”
“Thank you,” you leaned into her side, allowing her to wrap an arm around you and hold you close. “I love you, Tana.”
“I love you, baby. Now why don’t you eat some of this before it goes cold? Maybe we can watch a movie or something then.” 
“That sounds perfect… as long as I get to pick the movie?” She rolled your eyes at the hopeful look in your eyes, both knowing that she would instantly give into you and let you pick, before settling in next to you for your night of relaxing together, while you undoubtedly talked through most of the movie.
This one felt a little too real lmao. Wouldn't be surprised if I did some more in this universe. As always, requests and feedback are more than welcome!
Masterlist
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lustfulslxt · 2 months
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Spoiled Rotten - Chris Sturniolo
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summary : chris spoils you like no other and you show him how grateful you are
warnings : chris basically being a sugar daddy, swearing, m! oral, p in v, breeding kink, probably some other shit idk
a/n : hii, it’s been entirely too long. i’m kinda rusty but i hope this makes up for it!!
Getting everything you’ve ever wanted, even without having to ask, is something you never would’ve imagined for yourself. You’ve always had to work so incredibly hard for even the smallest things. Hell, you’ve had to work two jobs since you were old enough to work, just to be able to afford your bills.
Having a deadbeat father and a mother who had passed always made your life hard. It was up to you to keep things afloat. Keeping the bills paid, the kitchen stocked with groceries, the house tidy — it was all up to you, on top of having to keep your grades up to avoid the wrath of your absent yet, for some reason, still abusive father.
After your mom died, everything went downhill. Your father spiraled out of control. Because of his own wrongdoings, he took his anger out on you. He lost his job, gambled away the majority of your family’s savings, and spent the rest of it on alcohol and drugs. He made it all out to be your fault. If you hadn’t stepped up and started working your ass off, you’d definitely be living on the streets right now.
So, from where you were only a few years ago, to where you are now — you never would’ve pictured having any and everything you could ever want. Especially, from someone else’s wallet.
Chris’ wallet.
Your boyfriend knew of your previous struggles. He’d been your best friend since you were in elementary, so he witnessed what you had to do to get by. He’d beg and beg for you to just let him help, but you’d always refuse. If your own father can’t take care of you, why would you expect someone else to?
However, after so long, Chris ignored your reluctance and was quick to pamper you. Quick to provide for you. You’re everything to him, and he wants to make up for your sorry excuse of a father.
He moved you in with him after being together for two years. He doesn’t let you pay for anything. Him and his brothers keep the bills paid, as well as food in the kitchen. Anything to do with money, he’s got covered. And he still makes sure to spoil you rotten. Yet, not without a complaint from you.
“Chris!” You pouted, “Will you put your damn wallet away?”
Instantly, he’s shaking his head, “No. I don’t know why we have to keep going over this. Whatever you want, I’m getting. So, stop complaining and accept it.”
“But-“
He’s quick to cut you off with a peck to your lips. When you huff, he only grins and wraps an arm around your waist, continuing your stroll through the store.
Chris is extremely observant, and he knows you. He knows you like the back of his hand. So, when you turn away from something too quick after checking the price tag, he knows it’s something you like. You’re trying to throw him off and act uninterested in the entire store, but he can read you better than anyone.
So, while you’re off browsing through everything, grabbing the few things that you can afford, in hopes of talking him into letting you pay for it, he’s backtracking and grabbing your size in everything you took a liking in. By the time you make your way to the registers, Chris is already swiping his card.
Upon seeing the multiple bags on the counter in front of him, you can’t help but frown. You slowly turn around, heading to put the few shirts you had grabbed back. There’s no use in trying.
When you head back to Chris, he’s eyeing you with furrowed eyebrows. You walk next to him and he’s looking between you and the rack you were just at.
“Did you want those?” He asks.
You quickly shake your head, “No.”
“Are you sure? I can-“
You instantly loop your arm with his and drag him to the exit. You’re extremely grateful, but you can’t help but a little guilty because he spends so much money on you. You don’t want him to feel obligated just because you had a shitty past.
However, that’s far from how he feels. He just loves and adores you, and wants to give you everything you could ever want.
On the way home, Chris has your hand in his while he drives. Your eyes never leave him as you’re deep in thought. Thinking of everything he’s ever done and continues to do for you makes you so happy you could cry. You just want to show him how appreciative you are.
Pulling up to the house, you notice a big box sitting in front of the door. You furrow your eyebrows for a second, before concluding one of the boys must have ordered something. Once you both get out with the few bags, you head over and Chris picks up the box with a giant smile on his face.
You can’t help but smile at his smile, “Is that for you? What did you get?”
His eyes twinkle as he looks at you, “You’ll see.”
You give him a quizzical look before following him inside. Rather than stopping at the kitchen, he goes straight down to your shared room, so you follow him.
He places the box on the floor and is quick to open it. You set your bags down on the desk chair and walk over to him, your brows raised with curiosity. As soon as he gets the box open, he smiles widely and gestures for you to look and rummage through. Which you do. What you see has you gasping.
“Chris! You did not…”
He proudly nods, “I did, baby.”
Inside the box are numerous purses, shoes, fragrances, and several boxed skincare products. All things you had in your online cart. Things you never actually planned on buying, for the prices are too expensive, and you were only having a little fun.
Your heart swells at the gesture. He’s always doing the absolute most for you. There’s never ever been a time where he’s denied you of something you want, especially if it comes with a price tag.
You turn to Chris, a downward smile pulling to your lips as you look at him. He smiles back, only bigger and brighter. You take his hands in yours and yank him into you. Your lips meet his in a soft kiss. When he pulls away, you’re left chasing his lips for another. Passionately kissing him, until you’re both left breathless.
As soon as you part, you’re pushing him back onto the bed behind him. He falls with a bounce and wide eyes as he stares up at you.
Before he gets a word out, you’re straddling his lap. “You’re always so good to me. Let me be good to you.”
It takes seconds for Chris to start growing beneath your center. You lick your lips and lean forward, diving into a feverish kiss. His hands quickly meet your back, rubbing up and down, and along your sides.
You hum against his lips, enjoying the feeling of his hands on your body. Your hands move from his face to his hair, sharply tugging on it, eliciting a groan from him that makes your heat throb.
You pull away, your breathing shallow as you tug at the hem of his shirt. He leans up to assist you in removing it, before taking your lips in his again. Your hands instantly meet his bare torso, touching along his pecks and running your hands down his abdomen. His skin is hot beneath your fingertips and it stirs something inside of your stomach.
Your tongues dance together, moving in perfect sync with one another. The kiss gets sloppy, saliva coating both of your mouths. Chris is now rock hard beneath you, and you can’t help but grind against him, the two of you moaning into the kiss.
Your hands travel down his stomach, hooking onto his belt. Without parting from him, you undo his buckle and pull the belt from the loops of his jeans.
“God, you’re so hot.” He groans against your mouth.
You grin and push him back, his hair fluffing as his head hits the pillow below him. Your fingers grasp the button on his pants and quickly part it, slowly sliding his zipper down. He bucks his hips into your hands, desperate for more friction.
You lean forward, whispering in his ear, “Easy baby.” You place a kiss on his neck, causing him to shudder. “Promise I’m gonna make you feel so good.”
With one last kiss to his lips, you remove yourself from his lap and kneel beside him. He lifts his hips up to help you pull his pants down, his boxers following shortly after.
His cock stands tall, fully erect. Precum dribbles from the tip as his veins practically throb. Your mouth is watering at the sight. You take him in your palm, gripping softly. He takes in a sharp breath at the feeling, already fisting the sheets.
You stare into his eyes, puckering your lips, and push forward a jewel of saliva. It falls onto his head, trickling down his length, causing his mouth to fall slack as he takes you in.
You never cease to amaze him. Looking so innocent, but about to swallow him whole. He loves everything about you, especially the way you wrap your mouth around him.
Your tongue flicks over the slit of his tip, causing him to let out a small groan. You smile and wrap your lips around his head, sucking softly.
“Fuck..” He whispers, breathlessly.
Letting your mouth salivate even more, you continue teasing him. His breathing is erratic, eyes wide as he watches you. He so badly wants to shove his dick down your throat.
Luckily for him, you stop with the games and take him into your mouth. You force yourself down to the base, your nose pressing into his pelvic bone. He lets out a throaty moan at the feeling of his tip digging into the warm walls of your throat.
You flatten your tongue and begin bobbing your head up and down, working his cock the way he loves. Occasionally humming around him, pulling more moans from his pretty mouth.
“So fucking good.” He groans, bucking into your mouth.
His hands entangle in your hair as you look up at him and give him the slightest nod, keeping your mouth on him. His grip on you tightens, holding you in place as he begins thrusting in and out of your mouth.
The sounds of wet gagging fill the air, topped with his moans and groans. Your eyes prick with tears before they’re soon falling down your cheeks. Your face is flushed and stained with mascara streaks, drool falling down your chin. Chris can’t help but think you look the prettiest you’ve ever looked as he fucks your throat.
Your hand cups his balls, softly massaging them. His moans grow louder from the sensation, his orgasm approaching rather quickly from the combined stimulations.
His thrusts into your mouth grow sloppy and disorganized. His stomach tightens and his arms flex as he’s pushed over the edge. His hands push you into his dick, holding you in place as it bulges through your neck. He tosses his head back with a lewd moan leaving his mouth, his cock simultaneously spilling down your throat. It’s warm as it smoothly coats your throat, almost like honey when you’re sick. You love every bit of it.
Licking around his member, you pull your lips from him, making sure to suck every bit of cum from him. He groans at the sight of you swallowing every drop, and instantly pulls you up to him with a rough grip on your jaw.
He smashed his lips on yours, kissing you deeply and hungrily. Your pussy throbs for more, aching to be filled with his cock. It only takes a few seconds before he’s flipping you over.
He kneels between your thighs and tugs at your shirt, swiftly removing it. You bite your bottom lip in excitement, ready for him to fuck your brains out. His hands are quickly at your shorts, tugging them and your panties off in one motion. Him being eager to be inside you has you clenching around nothing.
His hands grope your bare tits, squeezing them in his palms. Your soft moans only encourage him. One hand goes back and forth between them, tweaking your nipples. His other hand slides between your legs, running through your folds.
He hums, “So wet already. Does sucking my cock turn you on? Hm?”
You only nod, your bottom lip still pressed tightly between your teeth.
“Mm, such a good little slut for me.”
You whine at his words and push your core into his hand, desperate for more. He pulls away from you, his hand suddenly coming down on your pussy in a quick motion, causing you to yelp as your body jerks. Your arousal only leaks more than it was. To which he notices.
He pouts, “Aw, you like that? You want it rough, don’t you?”
Your head quickly shakes up and down, whining as he rubs your clit. “Yes! Please, please. Want you to fuck me dumb.”
It didn’t take much for Chris to become fully erect again. You always do it for him. The second he kissed you after you swallowed him, he was growing again. That’s something you both love. Sometimes, you can go round after round.
He takes hold of his dick and runs it along your pussy. You whimper from the feeling, slightly grinding down into him. After a few teasing touches, his cock his saturated with your juices, making it easier to slide into you.
Your walls stretch around his girth in such a painfully pleasurable way. Your breath is stripped from your lungs as he bottoms out. You’ve never felt so full. His breath staggers from above you, loving the way you hug him so snugly.
He waits for you to adjust, and once he feels you aren’t so tense, he begins rocking in and out of you. Soft moans leave your lips as your hands run up his arms and grip his biceps. He leans down and presses a few kisses to your hand before picking up the speed.
“You feel so fucking good.” He moans, his strokes deep and hard.
Your mouth falls open, continuous moans emitting from it as your eyes roll back while your head falls to the side. Chris nudges your head to the side and attacks your neck with wet and sloppy open mouthed kisses. His hand suddenly wraps around your throat, applying a great pressure as he pushes himself up. His opposite hand grips your tit before smacking it, causing you to moan and clench around him.
“Look at me when I’m fucking you.” He grits, his hips snapping into yours with a strong force.
You want to look, but you can’t. Your eyes are practically stuck rolled into your head. You can hardly breathe with how hard he’s fucking you. Before you can even try, his hand slaps your face. Not enough to cause damage, but enough to feel the remaining sting. You can’t help but gush around his cock, loving every bit of it all.
You forcefully put your head down, eyes straining to focus on him. And boy are you glad. His hair is slick against his forehead, his skin glistening with a sheen layer of sweat. His cheeks are flushed a rosy pink color, his lips plump from your previous make out. His brows are furrowed in concentration and his entire face is struck with absolute pleasure. He looks like a dream.
You reach your hand out to caress his face and he leans into your touch. You love that he can still be sweet while completely wrecking you.
“Tell me how you feel.” He groans as he fucks in and out of you.
You bring your bottom lip in between your teeth, biting hard to control your moans. Though, it doesn’t work as your jaw drops and loud cries fall from your mouth.
His hand meets your jaw, slightly jerking to snap you out of the blissful trance he’s put you in. His eyes are dark as they bore into you, reiterating with every thrust, “Tell me. How you. Feel.”
Your face contorts in pleasure, sobbing out in between thrusts, “Mm, so good. F-feels sooo good, baby.”
“Such a good girl for me.” He coos, breathlessly.
Your mouth falls open, silent moans leaving it as he fucks into you. You’re on cloud nine. Your body feels on fire as pure bliss floods your veins. You can’t help but repeatedly clench around him as your climax nears. Your face contorts in pleasure, nails digging into his arm, leaving behind crescent shapes in his skin. The knot in your stomach tightens before unexpectedly snapping. You clench around his cock, your juices saturating him as you come undone.
He moans at the feeling, burying his face in your neck as he drops down again, digging into you deeper and deeper. “Gonna fill you up, ma. You’d like that, yeah? Give you my babies? Just wanna have even more to give you, you drive me fucking crazy.”
You soak in his words as you come down from your high, your legs immediately wrapping around his waist, pulling him into you. He smirks at your action, pressing a few sloppy kisses on your lips.
“Yeah, I knew you’d like that.” He moans as his thrusts grow erratic and out of rhythm.
His grip on you tightens, surely leaving behind purple finger shaped bruises. He buries cock into you, loudly groaning as he fills you up. He keeps fucking into you, determined to give you all he’s got. As soon as he can’t take it anymore, he pulls out and collapses beside you.
The two of you lay there, sweaty and panting, trying to recover from your intense orgasms. You both meet eyes, silly grins pulling to both of your faces. Neither of you have ever loved someone more.
Before succumbing to the exhaustion he felt, Chris perks up and leans over to his bedside table. “Oh, I got you one more thing.”
He turns back to you with a small black bag in his hand, offering it to you with a bright smile. You look at him with a pout, before taking the bag.
“When are you gonna stop with this?” You question, cheekily adding, “Aren’t your kids enough?”
He chuckles at you, “Just open the bag.”
So, you do. Inside it is a small black wallet — a wallet that is known for being one of a kind. Its intricate patterns are displayed along the material, the infamous logo engraved in the corner. You open it up to further examine it, your brows furrowing at what’s inside. Upon retrieving it, you look at Chris with a deadpan expression. His black credit card.
He smirks at you, “Yours now baby. No limit, so don’t even bother asking before you swipe it.”
a/n : ughh, okay so tbh i rushed the ending bc i ended up losing half of what i had since my cellular device is a literal piece of garbage. anywho, fingers crossed this was enjoyable lmaoo. it’s gonna take a minute for me to get back into things! missed you guys tho <3
taglist : @luv4kozume @worldlxvlys @flowerxbunnie @sturniolowhore @creamoncreamoncream2 @lvrsparadise @iluvm4ttsturni0l0 @tillies33ssss @chrissfavwh3re @its-jennarose @sophssturn @defnotayonna @ksskianshd @d0wnbad4chris @braindead4l @avasturn @knowingnothingnoel @luverboychris @remussbitch @stunza @rootbeerworshiper @dracoflaco @strnlsblog @venusbabysblog @domaniquessidehoe @mattslolita @junnniiieee07 @pepsienthusiasts @gamermattsgf @cupidsword @iloveneilperry @leprechaunbirthdaygirl @luul223 @matt444nixi @sturniololol
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crushmeeren · 1 month
Note
Hiii I hope you’re doing well!! I was wondering if you could write Hitoshi shinsou x reader of him absolutely destroying our guts 😊
Thank you!!!
-🐞
• Everyone is 18+/aged up — scroll or block if that bothers you. •
Hello friend! I am doing well and I can definitely write this. 😜 I hope you enjoy! 💕
P.S. I automatically write it as fem reader unless specified, but I did try to refrain from using things like good girl, pretty girl, etc. because I wasn’t sure. I did however use female anatomy. 💜
How Shinsou eats you out.
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Shinsou Hitoshi Destroying Your Guts
You slam the front door shut so violently the frame rattles, threatening to crack under pressure.
“Everything alright baby?” Hitoshi’s smokey timbre calls out from the kitchen. He was forewarned about your god awful day out on patrol, so he’s treading carefully.
Your fingernails sink into your palms, teeth creaking as you round the corner to your kitchen. There’s a fury boiling in your chest that’s about to overflow.
“What the fuck do you think? You know how to read, don’t you? Because I already texted you what happened,” you bite. Your eyes narrow as your lip curls upwards.
Silence hangs heavily in the air for a few beats.
Hitoshi’s face remains impassive as he stands across the island from you. Leisurely, he folds his arms over his chest, arching one singular eyebrow at your bitchy tone.
“Do you really want to walk down this road tonight?” Hitoshi may as well be exhaling frost as he speaks.
Apparently, you do.
When Hitoshi bends you over the side of your bed five minutes later, you’re entirely naked.
He’s got your arms bent behind your back in an uncomfortable position as Hitoshi ties your wrists together with part of his capture weapon.
It’s tight — you can barely wiggle your fingers, heartbeat thudding in your fingertips.
A brutal swirl of exasperation and anticipation churns in your stomach. Sticky sweat begins gathering in the valley between your tits as you fidget against the blankets.
“Hitoshi!” You cry out, sucking in air through your teeth. “That hurts, you jerk!” He snickers as he wrenches your bound wrists upwards.
“You’ve been way too much of a damn brat tonight for me to care about that. Now, I’m gonna fuck that shitty attitude out of you,” he says hotly, pressing a hand down in between your shoulder blades, shoving you further down into the bed.
You don’t speak, clenching your jaw as frustration forces a hot flush to pour over your cheeks. The material of your current restraints dig annoyingly into your skin when you flex your wrists.
Hitoshi’s palm rains down on your ass, a sharp sting radiating up to your tailbone. He made it his mission for that one to hurt.
A muffled scream of his name punches out of you into the sheets below.
“What is it sweetheart?” He snarls, teasing the tip of his cock over the lips of your pussy. Parting you open with ease. “Can’t handle the punishment for being so fucking rude to me?”
Your breath hitches, goosebumps littering your arms. Your clit pulses, pussy eager to swallow his cock whole.
“Well?” He urges, yanking your forearms backwards until your spine arches, freeing your face from the blankets.
Your shoulders ache, throbbing dully and then suddenly a switch flips, all traces of your previous rage draining from your veins.
“I’m sorry Hitoshi!” You sob, voice scratchy and breaking. You shove your hips backwards, trying to get him inside you.
“That’s it pretty baby, good job,” he purrs, gifting you mercy and completely filling you with his cock in one effortless motion.
Hitoshi starts fucking you as if he’s attempting to carve a space out inside your guts just for him. Hips bouncing off your ass until your muscles are going taut, slick pussy suffocating his cock.
He fucks you until you’re a gooey, brain melted mess beneath him. Encouraging you to keep cumming for him, moaning when you curse his name.
Afterwards, once your chest stops heaving and your soul has returned to your body, you’re infinitely grateful for a boyfriend like Hitoshi.
“Hitoshi, thank you. I really needed that,” you mumble, throat raw as sandpaper. Hitoshi hums as he swiftly works to free your hands.
“No worries baby. I’ll fuck you into your place anytime you need it,” he teases, tilting his head back in laughter as you punch his shoulder halfheartedly.
Your wretched day is entirely forgotten as you climb into bed that night.
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seeingivy · 2 months
Text
love of my life
ryomen sukuna x f!reader
**part of my best friends (older brother) fic
previous part linked here
CONTENT WARNING: mentions of suicidal thoughts, parental abuse, please read at your own discretion. protect your peace!!!
sukuna realizes, only in the exact moment that your arms wrap around his waist and he feels you bury your cheek against the bare skin of his back, that he should have known you would have woken up if he left you in bed alone. 
it’s a quiet panic first – to wipe the wetness away from his cheek, to swallow hard enough to make sure that his voice doesn’t waver when he speaks – to make sure that you don’t clock the fact that he was crying. 
“i get why you complain all the time now, ryomen.” you murmur. 
it’s enough to make his heart skip a beat – the soft muffled tone and the sleep still heavy in your voice – as he tries to muster a normal response. 
“and why’s that, princess?” 
“bed is cold without you. i can barely sleep.” 
sukuna turns around, watching as you lazily hook your arms around his torso and lean your head against his shoulder, your eyes still pinched shut from the brightness of the light. he takes the quiet second to observe the bruise by your eye, swollen to its peak, and it nearly makes him cringe. 
he knew all too well that it would puff up for all of today, that there would be a lingering headache for two days, before it started to fade to green and yellow before disappearing at the end of the week. 
“should ice this, doll. does it hurt?” he whispers. 
“it’s okay. lights are kind of bright, but –” 
“take an advil. i’ll get you one.” 
he quickly steadies you out of his embrace, before darting away to the cabinets, rummaging through as he produces a glass of water for you. and you lean against the counter, making the mistake of trying to rub your eyes, forgetting the sensitive spot on the left. 
you hiss at the sensation, which has him turning around with wide eyes. 
“sorry. i rubbed my eyes and i forgot.” 
it’s a quiet laugh that comes out of sukuna, before he walks up to your side, placing the pill in the palm of your hand and the glass in the other. you shoot him a grateful smile – which is when you’re able to clock the rimmed pink around his eyes and the tear streaks on his face. 
you immediately set the glass down, reaching forward and rubbing the side of his cheek, only to have it confirm your suspicions when the wetness transfers to your fingers. 
“hey. what’s wrong?” you whisper. 
he shakes his head as he lifts your left hand closer, insisting that you take the advil. you oblige, quickly swallowing it down with the water, before you hook your hands around his neck. you stand on the tips of your toes, trying to level yourself with his eyes, and insist for the answer again. 
“allergies,” he responds. 
you frown.
“sukuna.” you whine. 
you lean forward, closing the distance between you, as you sag your weight onto his shoulder. you’re not sure what it does for him – rubbing circles into his back, pressing lazy kisses to his shoulder – but it only makes him pull you closer, almost suffocating the air out of you when he squeezes harder. 
“you don’t have to tell me. i just want to know you can if you want to, because i’m ready to listen.” 
“yesterday was a lot for you. we can talk about –” he starts. 
“yesterday was more for you than it was for me. yuuji and i already have plans to go to coffee that he made last night, i have a feeling it’ll go well, and…my eye will heal. sammy and i kind of debriefed everything after on text and her rage weirdly made me feel better. but i know that was a lot for you and that you don’t have a sammy that fixed things for you or yuuji trying to resolve it with you. so i’m fine, i’m just worried about you.” 
sukuna leans back, placing his hands around your waist before he lifts you onto the counter. 
“did you want hot chocolate? i made some.” 
you cringe at the deflection, but turn to the left to find the little saucepan boiling on the stove. 
“just share with me.” 
“okay baby, you say that but then you drink the entire thing.” sukuna deadpans. 
“i won’t. it’s the middle of the night and i know i won’t sleep if i do.” you respond. 
sukuna shrugs, as he tilts the saucepan to the left, and pours it into the mug. he slides it over to you, letting you take the first sip, before you hand it back to him and let him take the next. 
you can’t help but stare at the tear marks. 
it was a rare occasion to see sukuna cry, but not unheard of. it was only when things felt really hopeless in your opinion, that he’d let himself get far enough to cry. or really, when it only felt appropriate or safe for him too. 
you remember in passing that yuuji used to think that sukuna was heartless, because he had never seen him cry before. and now that you think about it, it makes you think about sammy – about how you can’t really recall if she ever cried when you were younger. 
it makes you feel guilty – that she never felt safe enough to. that maybe she felt the need to front like sukuna did for yuuji, that he was so responsible for him that he couldn't show that he was struggling either and maybe she felt that way too. 
“i want to tell you…it’s just that…” 
he pauses. 
“i don’t want you to take it the wrong way. i’m really upset this happened to you, this…this makes me more furious and frustrated than you understand and i…” 
you snort. 
“i have an idea. we were barely two weeks into dating and you punched your boss for me, so..” 
sukuna smiles, before pausing. 
“do you want me to be mad? about yesterday?” he asks. 
you pause. 
“what?” 
“like. like would it upset you if that wasn’t the main thing i was thinking about? like later, if we fought or something, you’d be like…oh i got punched in the face and he wasn’t mad enough about that because he was thinking about his own things? because…” 
“no.” 
sukuna raises his eyebrows, almost like he doesn’t believe you. 
“no.” you confirm. 
you reach for his hands, locking your fingers in with his free one. 
“i know that this is all complicated. that this might bring up bad memories for you.” you whisper. 
you can see the recognition clock on his face, that you know exactly what he’s talking about because you remember, as he gives you a mere nod. sukuna feels like you might know how to read his mind. or that he’s just given so much of himself to you at this point that it’s impossible for you not to. 
“i don’t want you to be mad. i don’t need you to defend me or protect me. i want you to be whatever it is you’re feeling, i want you to talk to someone about this if you never have, and to know that i love you even though –” 
he holds his hand up, pinching his eyes shut, as he starts to shake his head. you stop, leaving the silence hanging between the two of you before he talks again. 
“i’m sorry. i love you but it’s…it’s…” 
his voice starts to shake and the tears rise again in his eyes. and you can tell that he’s trying to swallow it down as hard as he can, trying to push it down, and it makes your chest twist in an unpleasant way. 
“it’s too much to hear, right now. i’m thinking a lot of things and it’s just hard to…” 
“okay. i’m sorry.” 
he winces. 
“fuck. please don’t think i’m turning down your affection or that i’m mad at you. i love you. i love all the sweet things you say to me. i’m just not used to this especially when i feel like this and i –” 
you offer him a smile. 
“i know.” you whisper. 
sukuna pauses before his eyes soften. it’s the same lovesick look in his eyes that he gives you – the almost tangible sign to you that he loves you, in earnest. 
“you know?” he asks, voice cracking. 
you can’t help but frown as you reach forward, pressing a kiss to his cheek. 
“i know it can be a lot when you aren’t used to it. i know it’s not personal. i just hope you know that i will eventually make you reach a point where you…you can accept that from me. i’ll keep trying till i die if i have to.” you state. 
sukuna smiles, before closing the space between the two of you, and placing a lingering kiss on your lips. 
“i cut you off. you were saying something.” you state. 
“yeah. yeah…i was just…” 
sukuna pauses, before he turns around towards one of the back cabinets. it’s a little white package, with his name inscribed on the label that he hands to you. you give him a strange look, as you open up the box, only to find an insane amount of wrapping. 
after ripping all of the tape and paper out, you pull out two little ceramic mugs, flowery designs of pink and green on them. 
“mugs?” 
“i realized all my mugs here are boring. i bought you some and they’re actually like…bridgerton special edition or something. that one is season one and that one is season two. i saw it and just figured you’d like them because –” 
“oh shut up. you’re so cute!” you respond, holding the little mug close to your chest. 
“you’re very easily impressed.” he states. 
“you saw mugs and thought of me! and your mugs are so boring, it’s like you were reading my mind.” 
the thought of you being a mind reader crosses sukuna’s mind again. 
you give him a gleeful smile, which makes his face light up, before he takes them from you and places them to the sides. 
“about the mugs. i just…i couldn’t sleep after you finally did because i was stuck thinking about everything. mainly of what i was going to do tomorrow morning, when you woke up. i texted sammy, she’s going to come for breakfast to check on your eye with her friend. and i was going to make french toast, surprise you with the mugs before you woke up, and…and make hot chocolate the way you like. i even already timed the doordash order because we don’t have marshmallows and i just…” 
you place your hands on his cheeks and squeeze hard. it’s an eye roll that he gives you in response, but you can see the smallest whisper of a smile on his lips. 
“have i ever told you that you’re the love of my life?” 
“that’s a big statement. the love of your entire life? you’re only twenty-two, angel.” 
“love. of. my. life.” you confirm. 
he smiles, shaking his head. 
“you’re so sweet. why would i ever get mad at you thinking that?” you ask. 
sukuna pauses, before dropping his eyes to your hands. you offer him your free hand and nurse the filled mug of hot chocolate in  your free one, as he fiddles with your hands in his, cracking each of the knuckles in your hand. you can tell that he’s trying to think of what it is, trying to word whatever it is that’s in his mind, and you only squeeze his hands in yours as a signal. 
to take his time. 
“the first time my dad hit me, i…” 
you hear sniffling and look up only to find a steady stream of tears pouring out of his eyes. it makes your heart drop in your chest, as you push off of the counter, and wrap your arms around him. he buries his head into your neck, the wetness trickling down your shirt, as you quietly hum into his ears, running your free hand through his hair. 
it takes him a few minutes to compose himself. but you can tell that his panic is tapering when his breaths start slowing down and he starts wiping the wetness on the back of his hand. he pulls back, giving you a shaky nod, as you lean forward and press a kiss to his cheek before he continues. 
“the first time my dad hit me, i was seven.” 
you feel your throat dry. the first time he had come to your house after the fact was when he was twelve. meaning there was five years you hadn’t even thought to consider, to inspect in your memories for signs of it all. 
“no one was home. yuuji had piano and my mom was picking him up and he…he was going through some of my stuff without permission. they were just drawings but i…i can’t remember why i didn’t want him to see. why i was so upset. but i was just was and i started screaming at him and he…he backhand slapped me so hard i fell to the ground.” he murmurs. 
you wince, thinking of sukuna at seven, with his always grumpy face and basketball jerseys getting crumpled onto the ground. you can feel the tears burning in the back of your eye, but try your best to swallow them down. 
“i went to sleep that night and it was the first time i thought about dying.” 
you can feel the air leave your chest. you curl your hand into a fist, your nails indenting the softness of your skin, as you give him a nod to continue. he looks down at your hands and frowns, before uncurling your hands and locking them in with his own. 
“don’t clench your jaw. and don’t ball your hands like that, just…just squeeze my hands instead. i know it’s a lot.” 
it’s a light demand that he gives you and you all but oblige. 
“i am ready to listen, i just…” you start. 
“i nearly broke my own hands listening to you talk about mazzy. it was hard on my heart to know any of that happened.” 
he cups your cheek in his hand, before pressing a kiss to your forehead. 
“i understand. you’re just so down horrendous for me that it hurts.” he states. 
you glare at him. 
“you’re not even far off by saying that.” you deadpan. 
he smiles. 
“i know.” 
you give him a smile back, nearly shivering from the how bare it felt – the shared understanding that you’re seeming to get now – as he continues. 
“every time it happened, i would think about dying. it was never really concrete, like how i was going to do it or making a plan, but…it would just come back to me. i would think about my own death all the time – how it would feel, how it would make other people feel.” 
he pauses. 
“made me feel guilty sometimes. thinking about it, because i know my mom and yuuji needed me, that it would make you and sammy sad and…and i don’t know. it felt wrong to think about, like…like i was committing a crime.” 
he shrugs. 
“sometimes i’d find something to take my mind off of it. my grades at first, winning all those awards. made me feel good until it was too easy. then…then it was girls. i liked the things they said to me – that i was smart, that i was hot.” 
you snort. he gives you a joking glare, before he continues. 
“but then it would get too far, i would get so disgustingly turned off whenever they tried to tell me they loved me because…because i knew they didn’t. and..” 
he pauses, before his eyes go wide. 
“i love it when you tell me you love me. please don’t ever stop.” 
you smile, before stifling a laugh. 
“i love you.” 
he groans. 
“god, why was that kind of hot?” 
you snort. 
“what?” 
“i don’t know! that was really hot. made my skin fucking…burn or something i don’t know. shut up. i hate you.” 
“i was just doing what you asked.” you clarify. 
“and it turns me on when you’re so obedient. you know that.” 
you shake your head, as he laughs. 
“ew. you’re so gross, sukuna.” 
you both laugh, as you watch sukuna visibly relax. 
you can tell that the jokes, as misplaced as they seem in the conversation, make it easier for him to keep going – that they’re soothing his nerves. 
you can’t lie that it doesn’t do the same for you. it’s overwhelming concern that he isn’t okay, that you need to call someone, but the tiniest shreds of this are small reminders that…that maybe he’s just recounting the memory. that maybe it’s just a considerably smaller part of him now, or that it lives in the past, and just informs who he is now. 
he continues. 
“it got worse. i started bleeding into other things too. i didn’t get basketball captain and that was the first thought that came to mind – that i wanted to die. a girl would stop talking to me because she thought i was a dick and that was the only thing i could think about for days after. it got so bad that…that one time i was at school and i didn’t get my locker combination right the first time. and all i thought about was that i was going to sit in my car, drive home, and forget to make the last turn and just go straight into the light pole.” 
sukuna’s messing with the charms of your necklace, running his hand over the star as he talks. you can tell that…that it’s almost rambling now, that he needs it to keep himself tethered. 
“then those got more vivid. thinking of concrete ways. in my dreams, while i was in class. falling down, falling asleep and never waking up. and whenever i’d fight with my dad, if…if i found out he hit my mom while i was gone, i just…” 
he pauses, before he looks up at you. 
“i only left for europe because i knew i was going to die if i didn’t.” he whispers.
you nod. 
of course that’s why he left. the only time he physically had to put himself over the two of them. because the pain of him being gone entirely, as opposed to a few years, was the calculated choice he had to make. 
you reach forward, placing your hand on the side of his cheek, as he leans into the touch. 
“i’m glad you didn’t. we all need you here. like, indefinitely.” you whisper. 
he smiles. 
“it did get better after that. i liked being there, i…i met a lot of different people when i was studying there. visited random places just to see what it was like out there, maybe that things were different. i got a therapist after my third week and just, just had my own life. learned my own limits. what i like, what i don’t.” 
you smile. 
“heavy on learning what i did like. i will note that i missed you a lot when i was there.” 
you scoff. 
“liar. you’re just trying to romance me.” 
he rolls his eyes. 
“what’s your computer background?” 
you squint your eyes at him. 
“your computer locksreen. what has it been since you got your first computer?” he asks. 
“monet. the waterlillies.”
“do you know where the waterlilies are in real life?” 
you smile. 
“let me guess. in europe?” 
he smiles back, before lifting your hands to press a kiss to your knuckles. 
“france. musée de l’orangerie. oval rooms, they were put up after monet died.” 
it makes your heart flutter – the way the french falls out of his mouth perfectly. 
“museum of orange?” 
“haha. hilarious.” he responds. 
you grin in response. 
“but really. i heard they were in france. i thought of you and then i had to go see them. i found the exact one – the purple and blue that i had seen on your computer – and all i could think about for the entire week was how you were. how you were a soft spot, how my memories with yuuji were too, and at that basketball park near our house” 
you can feel your chest burning – just from how much you love him. 
“you’ll have to go again. to the waterlillies. but with me this time, okay?” you ask. 
he’s smiling from ear to ear. 
“that’s a promise.” he whispers. 
you lean forward, closing the space between you two. it’s a long kiss – only because every time you try to pull away, he’s just leaning forward so it doesn’t stop. 
“i love you.” he states. 
“me too. more than you know.” you affirm. 
“thanks…thanks for getting it. you…you really are fucking made for me because i don’t get how anyone else would take that.” 
you tilt your head to the side. 
“i don’t get how you think anyone wouldn’t. that’s…that’s normal to think about. to have it come up.” 
sukuna shakes his head. 
“i don’t know. i was just sitting there in bed thinking about it because…because i was planning all that stuff. like calling sammy and the breakfast. and really, if something like this happened years ago when i was here, i’d be thinking of how i wanted to die. and i was just…thinking about what i wanted to do instead. almost like i was looking forward to the next morning, to…to making you feel good and having a good day for us.” 
you smile. 
“i’ve felt that way a lot since i came back. i got nanami a really good birthday gift and i couldn’t wait to give it to him. or when some dumb pop culture thing happens and i see it in the news..it makes satoru so happy when i ask him to explain it that sometimes i find myself looking forward to it. just…reasons to wake up in the morning i guess?” 
“i’m going to tell satoru.” you state. 
“no, you’re not. i’m never talking to you again.” 
you roll your eyes. 
“i don’t know. i figured you’d want me to just think about you after yesterday. a lot of people do and…and most of the time it is just about you, i swear. but i think that…” he starts.
you shake your head. 
“i don’t want you to just think about me. like…if you’re having a sex dream and someone else comes up, i will hate you forever. but it shouldn’t just be me. i want you to have your own life, i want me to have my own, and that we’re just parts of it for each other. and to me…what you told me just sounds like you were making sense of where i fit in with the rest of your life. i would never ever hate that. that’s where i want to be, in there with everything else.” 
sukuna sighs, before leaning his forehead against yours. it’s a long pause before he talks again, but the silence is filled by warm kisses to the side of your face that make your skin singe. 
“did you know that you’re the love of my life?” he whispers. 
you roll your eyes. 
“i said it first.” 
he places his hands around your cheeks, before gently angling your face up so that you’re looking at him. 
“you’re the love of my life. that’s really where you fit in.” sukuna states. 
you can’t help but smile, biting down on the sides of your cheek from the sweetness. 
“you were the first girl i ever liked. the only one i thought about when i was gone. the only one i could ever tell this to. and now i can’t be anywhere except if it’s with you. you’re the love of my life.” 
you smile, before you shake your head. 
“you’re the first guy i ever liked. the only person i ever thought about until you left. you’re the only person i can give myself to. and i…i’m tied to you – you…you can’t get away even if you tried. you’re the love of my life too.” 
he smiles back. 
“i’m not trying.” 
“okay, well it’s a threat. you can’t try.” you joke. 
“i’m not going to.” he whispers, full of sincerity. 
he locks his hand in with yours, before pulling you back towards the bedroom, where you tangle your limbs again until it’s impossible to be closer.
“just one thing before you sleep.” sukuna states. 
“what?” 
“we’re having separate cups of hot chocolate in the morning. you drank the entire fucking cup.”
--
next part linked here
an: PHEW my heart hurts. my favorite chapter me thinks. the fluff is DISGUSTING!!! TOOTH ROTTING! anyways. lets all thank miss taylor alison swift for writing who's afraid of little old me? because that's what made me think of this chapter and how I wanted to come out. like the "I was tame I was gentle until the circus life made me mean" 😭
taglist: @porridgesblog @k0z3me @kayleegomez @yihona-san06 @sweetenertea @skzismyhome @mykyoon @violetmatcha @rebeccawinters @shotenvinsoot @itzmeme @gojoswifeyyys-world @cutiejg @chilichopsticks @ghostreadersthings @charlie-xo @whoami-72 @heijihattorisgf @megu-meow @complexivelovely @multiplefandomthings @hoebuns @lzaj19 @glossygreene @ramluvr @sureconfused @najaemism @manduse @imhorn1help @gamergirl5125 @r0ckst4rjk @invisible-mori @isaacdaknight @gyros-cum-sock @wishmemel @suftsunshine @i0099 @cowgirlikets @haitanibros0007 @stuffeddeer @yoontaedotin @ec3lipsy @armani78 @awkwardaardvarkforever @kereseth @leave-rae-alone @ruruvia @princess-ackerman @jjkwritingss @lilkiwikiara @opchara @telepathicheartss @starriesworlds @raechu11 @exprimidordefresas @nxxrxm @aalloochaat @strangehuman101 @tzutology
422 notes · View notes
st-eve-barnes · 5 months
Text
Bad Girl
(modern Aemond x fem Reader)
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Summary: Aemond gets a little (sexually) frustrated with his shy girlfriend. Based on this post: "Hold her down by the throat and put her vibrator on the max setting. That'll fix her, I promise."
You can all thank @arcielee for inspiring me to write this! So it came out a little different than I initially planned but I hope it's still okay ;) This was written quickly so I apologize for any mistakes, English is not my first language and all that. Enjoy!
Word count: +2800
Warning: 18+ for explicit content and language. Teasing, dirty talk, mild degradation/praise, masturbation (fem), soft dom Aemond, shy reader. Use of sex toy & orgasm denial. Choking, multiple orgasms and p in v sex.
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All my fics are also on AO3 If you love my writing you can Buy me a KoFi or feed me with a lovely comment ;)
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Aemond tried his best to focus on the words on the page in front of him. He wanted to finish this chapter but your hand on his thigh was starting to distract him.
You were both lying on your bed, him reading his book while you absentmindedly scrolled through Netflix while checking your phone. It had been over an hour now and you still hadn’t picked anything to watch. 
You were distracted as well, Aemond had noticed it the moment he’d walked in but as usual you chose to stay quiet and not let him know what was on your mind.
But he knew you inside and out now, after 6 months of dating. You were a closed book and it took a lot of patience and the right kind of attention to get you to open up to him. Tonight was no different.
Looking at your blank facial expression one could never tell but the way your hand kept clinging to his leg, Aemond knew everything he needed to know. You were just as horny as he was right now.
“Do you want me to pick something?” he asked, not looking up from his book but his lips curling into a little amused smile.
“Oh, no, why?” you asked, waking up from your thoughts.
“Because clearly you are never going to,” he pointed out.
You sighed,”I’m sorry, I just…I don’t really feel like watching anything.”
“Then why didn’t you just say that?”
“I didn’t want to annoy you,” you sighed, turning off the tv.
It took only a few seconds for Aemond to snap his book shut and look up at you.
“What did I tell you just last night? You can never annoy me, sweet girl,” he placed his book on the nightstand and turned his attention to you,”Okay, here's what's going to happen…we’re going to set up a few ground rules, just between us.”
You looked at him with intrigued eyes.
“You need to tell me what goes on in that pretty little head of yours,” he spoke softly,”I can’t read your mind, love.”
“You might wanna be grateful for that,” you joked, putting a smile on his face but it disappeared quickly when his one good eye met yours.
“Rule number one,” he then stated,”You don’t put yourself down, ever.”
Your eyes softened at his request and you smiled while nodding your head,”I’ll work on that.”
“Oh, you will,” he confirmed and you were taken aback by the hard tone in his voice.
“Okay,” you nodded.
“Rule number two,” Aemond continued,”You need to talk to me, about what you feel, and what you want, whatever it is. I don’t want to have to guess it.”
You nodded but sighed quietly,”Aem, you know I…I have a hard time opening up.”
“Not with me,” he insisted,”I don’t want you to feel that way with me.”
His eye stayed locked on yours, his gaze intense, as if he was trying to stare deep into your soul. ”You know you never have to feel that way with me, right?”he then added softly.
You smiled, reassured,”I know.
“Good,” he nodded,”Then let’s try this, shall we? Tell me what you want right now.”
You couldn’t help but blush, your words already stuck in your throat.
“Come on, don’t be shy, sweetheart,” Aemond encouraged you,”Your hand’s been on my thigh the entire time, what is it? Do you want to cuddle?”
You knew he was teasing you but you still couldn’t bring yourself to say the actual words.”No, I don’t want to cuddle,” you confessed instead.
“Then, what do you want?” Aemond covered your small hand with his much larger one, his thumb caressing your skin,”Don’t make me drag it out of you, sweet girl, you know I will.”
His threat was making your heart beat faster and your skin was burning up under his soft touch.
“I want…,”you bit your lip, willing yourself to just say the words but failing again. “I want you,” you eventually let out.
Aemond clicked his tongue in disappointment”You want me? Want me to what?”
“Aemond,” you whined.
He took his hand off you, making you want to whine some more but the serious look in his eye stopped you.
“I think it’s time to tell you about rule number three then,” he stated.
“Rule number three? What’s rule number three?”
“Girls who don’t comply with the first two rules will get punished.”
Your heart was definitely beating loudly in your chest now. “Aem,” you whispered, shaking your head with a shy smile.
Before you could even think of saying anything else he had you pinned down to the bed, straddling your legs and leaning over you, his face mere inches away from yours.
“Oh, you think I’m joking?” he asked.
“No, I…I don’t…”
He nuzzled your cheek, his breath warm against your skin while his long hair tickled your neck, putting goosebumps all over you.
“I won't ask again,” he whispered firmly,"Tell me what you want."
“I want you to fuck me,” you finally blurted out, putting a satisfied grin on his face as he leaned back to look at you.
“There’s my girl,” he smiled,”That wasn’t so hard now, was it?”
You bit your lip. Aemond's hands were softly caressing your waist and you could feel the weight of him on you, his cock pressing against your inner thigh through his sweatpants. You couldn’t help yourself from trying to move against him but he was quick to grab your wrists and pin them down on the bed next to you.
“Nuh-uh,” he teased,”Keep still.”
“Aem,” you breathed,”Please.”
“No, no, that took you way too long, sweetheart,” he pointed out,”If I give you what you want right away how will you learn your lesson, hmm?”
His hands moved back to your waist, slowly pushing up your shirt, fingers brushing against your skin. A smirk played on his beautiful face when he discovered you weren’t wearing a bra.
“Look at you being all slutty for me,” he grinned, pushing your shirt up all the way and exposing your tits fully to him. You couldn’t hold back your moans when he started kissing your stomach. His mouth was so soft, his kisses featherlight, teasing, making you shiver all over.
When he finally worked his way up to your tits his tongue curled around your nipple, making you squirm underneath him. You kept your hands on the bed, digging into the sheets now. You were afraid if you touched him he'd stop what he was doing to you and you would break if he did.
“Aemond,” you breathed,”Please…please…baby.”
You could hear him laugh as he licked your other nipple,”Oh, no, you don’t get to be impatient now, sweetheart. You made me wait for over an hour while you kept browsing that stupid Netflix menu. Rubbing my thigh like you didn’t know exactly what you were doing to me.”
He moved up higher to kiss your neck.”You’re going to do exactly as I say now. And maybe when you do, I’ll fuck you afterwards. Maybe. Do you understand?”
You nodded.
“Use your goddamn words, sweetheart,” he growled, grinding his erection against your panties.
“Fuck, yes, I understand,” you moaned.
“Good,” he grinned,”Good girl, you’re gonna be such a good girl for me, aren’t you? Say it.”
Your voice came out as nothing more than a pathetic whimper,”I’ll be…a good girl…for you.”
Aemond moaned loudly and pushed his cock up against your soaked panties, letting you feel every inch of him but then he pulled back, an evil smirk on his lips. 
He leaned over to your side of the bed and opened your nightstand.
“What are you…?" your eyes widened when he pulled out one of your toys.
“Just the one I was looking for,” he grinned.
“Aemond,” you warned him but it only encouraged him.
“Show me,” he whispered, putting the toy in your hand and moving back a little to give you room,”Show me how you use it on yourself.”
“Are you serious?” you breathed.
“Dead serious,” he placed his hand on your thigh, tracing his fingers towards the edge of your panties,”You’re not getting my cock tonight, love, or my fingers, this is all you get. So get yourself off while I watch.”
You just stared at him in disbelief for a moment.
Aemond was licking his lips while he looked down at your panties and then he leaned in to place his lips on your ear,”I can see how wet you are from up here, my sweet girl, those panties are fucking soaked right through. You need to come really bad, don’t you? So fucking do it.”
You finally managed to shut off your brain and looked at the toy in your hand. Of course he had chosen one of your favorites, not an actual vibrator but your pink clit stimulator, the one that always got the job done.
But it was a little different with him watching you.
You slipped the toy in between your legs and into your panties and clicked it on, the sudden vibration enough to make you let out a quiet whimper.
Aemond didn’t take his eye off you, his one leg still wrapped over yours, now spreading you open, watching as you started bucking your hips against the vibrations. Your breathing was picking up quickly, your cheeks flushed and your other free hand was clutching the sheets, desperate to hold onto something.
Watching you like this was turning Aemond on beyond reason and he was dying for some sort of relief himself. But he held back, only focusing on you and your pleasure. He wanted to see you fall apart so badly, to see you finally letting go of that control and give in. But another part of him also wanted to snatch that toy from your hand right before you could succumb, letting you feel some of his frustration.
But he showed mercy on you, watching as your legs started to shake and your back arched off the bed when your orgasm rushed through you.
His mercy was short lived though and before you could ride it out the toy was pulled from your hand, making you look up at him with a disappointed whine.
“My turn,” he grinned.
He pulled your panties down in one swift motion and then the toy was on you again. You almost wanted to back away at the sudden sensation on your now sensitive clit but Aemond held you in your place.
“Look up at me, sweetheart,” he whispered, pressing his forehead to yours. He waited until your eyes met his before he turned the toy down to the lowest setting. “You alright?” he checked.
You nodded,”Yeah, I’m alright.”
He cupped your cheek with one hand, thumb brushing your lips ever so briefly.”You look so beautiful like this,” he whispered,”Surrendering to me so easily. God, it's everything....you’re so perfect.”
You smiled and felt tears sting in your eyes, his sudden softness combined with the aftermath of your release making you feel emotional.“Can I touch you now?” you begged.
Aemond nodded instantly,”Of course you can, my sweet girl.”
He leaned in to press a soft kiss to your lips and your arms finally wrapped around him, caressing his neck and his hair and holding him close to you. Aemond reciprocated your hug, burying his face into the crook of your neck for a moment and breathing you in. But then he leaned back, that teasing smile back on his lips.
“Okay, where were we?” he asked and he laughed when you looked at him,”Oh, you didn’t think I was done, didn’t you?”
“Aem,” you shook your head,”Just fuck me.”
“Oh no, I don’t think you’ve learned your lesson yet, sweetheart,” he insisted and he turned your toy up a notch. He didn’t move it, just held it against your clit, teasing you with it.
“That feel good, baby?” he purred,"Oh, I bet it does, your poor little clit must be so sensitive right now, hmm?"
His lips moved down to softly kiss your neck. The combination of his warm, wet mouth on your skin and the vibration between your legs was quickly building up your need for another release.
This time Aemond showed no mercy, pulling the toy away as soon as you got too close, making you grip his arm in frustration at your lost climax.
“Fuck...please,” you whined.
“You’re so pretty when you beg,” he smiled, kissing the spot right below your ear,”Do it again. I want to hear you beg for it, use your words this time.”
He placed the toy back on your clit and back on the lowest setting, enough to tease you but not get you off.
His tongue traced patterns on your neck and collarbone and then he gently sucked your skin while upping the setting, higher and higher until he felt your legs starting to shake and he pulled away again, smirking against your neck as you cried in frustration.
He repeated the same process a couple of times, making you whimper and moan beneath him, tears running down your face now. Your hands were tangled into his hair and clawing at his back, underneath his shirt. 
“Come on, sweetheart, tell me what I want to hear,” he breathed into your ear.
Aemond’s voice was rough and you could hear it in his breathing, he was turned on just as much as you were. When you looked down you could see him palming himself through his pants, desperate for some friction.
“Please let me come,” you begged, finally finding your words,”I need to come so bad, Aem, please, baby.”
“Yeah? You want it?” he teased, licking into your mouth. You pulled him into a deep kiss, grinding your hips against your toy, which was now completely soaked in your arousal.
Aemond turned up the settings, one by one, pushing you closer and closer to that edge, moving it over your clit so perfectly you could feel your orgasm so close within reach.
"Tell me you want my cock," he breathed into the kiss,"I need to hear you say it, sweetheart...fucking say it, please."
All reason had left your mind and you finally gave into your most primal needs, and words.
“I want your cock,” you whimpered,”Please, Aemond…I need your cock, please…I need it inside of me so bad, need to feel you.”
“Oh, you do?” he grunted, moving his own hips against the mattress in his own desperation but he was not going to give in yet,”I don’t know if you deserve my cock, sweetheart.”
“I do, I’ll be good, I promise.”
“Yeah? You’ll tell me what you want next time? Before I have to drag it out of you?”
“I will,” you whimpered,”I promise I will.”
“Well, we’ll have to see about that next time, won’t we? For now you’ll just have to take what I give you.”
He turned your toy up even higher, it was almost on the maximum setting and your legs were shaking in anticipation already.
“Fuck,” you moaned.
“Will you take what I give you and accept your punishment?” he breathed against your lips.
You nodded,”Yes, yes I will.”
“Good girl,” he smirked and he watched your reaction when he clicked the button and pushed your toy to it maximum,”Show me how desperate you are for me, sweetheart, ride your toy like you would ride my cock.”
He placed himself over you again, pinning you down on the bed, his cock rock hard and pressing into your inner thigh. As you bucked into your favorite toy Aemond started rutting against you, his breath heavy in your ear.
“Come on, my pretty little slut,” he growled into your ear while his hand made its way around your neck, gripping it tight,”Fall apart for me, I want to hear you…see you…feel you. Come for me, sweetheart...come for me, right fucking now.”
Your legs finally gave out and you came with a silent cry, clinging to his back and biting down on his shoulder. You didn't get any time to recover because Aemond pulled down his pants and in one desperate move sank his leaking cock deep into your pulsing heat. You climaxed again right away and it only took Aemond a couple of hard thrusts to follow suit, filling you up and collapsing on top of you with a quiet whimper.
You both lay in silence afterwards, letting your breathing calm down and enjoying the warmth of his body close to yours.
You couldn’t help but smile after a while. “I thought I wasn’t getting your cock tonight?” you then teased,"What happened with that?"
He looked up at you, blushing and biting his lip and then he gently nuzzled your neck, placing a soft kiss on your shoulder,”You make me weak, what can I say? Besides...I couldn't bear it any longer, I’ve wanted to fuck you as soon as you walked in tonight.”
“So did I,” you confessed.
Aemond gave you a surprised, warm smile,”Next time you tell me that right away so we don’t have to waste time pretending to find shit to watch on Netflix.”
You nodded,”I will, I promise.”
“Good,” he whispered,”I wouldn’t wanna have to punish you again for being such a bad girl.”
You hesitated for only a moment before you looked back at him and bit your lip,”What if I want to be your bad girl?”
You watched Aemond swallow hard, his hold on your waist tightening and his pupil growing darker.
“What if I liked being punished?” you added in a whisper, a smile forming on your lips at seeing Aemond squirm like that for once.
”Yeah?” he breathed,”You…you liked that?”
"Very much," you nodded and you giggled when he pushed you back down on the bed, his lips finding yours in a deep, desperate kiss. You could feel his cock pressing against your thigh, he was hard again.
His mouth moved to your ear, whispering heavily while his hand reached for your nightstand again,”Let's see what other toys you have in there, shall we, my beautiful bad girl?”
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hellfire--cult · 9 months
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Edit of Eddie: Sofiiel
Stripper!Eddie x Shy!Fem!Reader
Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 (End)
WC: 14k
⚠️ +18 MDNI, Stripper!Eddie, nervousness, fluff, self doubt, soft touches, mentions of nausea, signs of anxiety, angst (i won't spoil any more of the chapter)
Plot: You thought you were cursed with your shyness, but after one embarrassing night, you decide it's time to change, and you believe someone might be able to help with that.
Summary: Was it all how it seemed? Whatever doubt you had, you find the answer to, and it is time to move forward.
A/N: And we reached the end... I never thought this story would blow up they way it did, but I am so grateful for every single one of you that always reblogged, commented, messaged me to know when the next chapter would be out... I cannot thank you enough. This story is very dear to me, and I already have a few requests for these characters! Hope you all still follow me through the next stories I will post!
You can always support me by hitting the reblog button with tags, and I always enjoy reading your comments!
Taglist is closed - Follow me for updates and put notifications on!
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PART 8 - FINALE
Robin Buckley was in cloud nine at the moment. 
After a successful date on Friday, she had spent the entire weekend with Vickie, consuming their love with their first kiss, their first time together, and realizing that they both were stupid idiots who didn’t make a move because they were too scared to do so. 
So now, on Sunday morning she finally is back in her apartment, singing in the shower as she washes her body from the weekend’s activities. She finally got the girl she had been desiring ever since she met her. Vickie was not far behind, but Vickie had confessed to Robin that it would be her first official time dating a woman. Robin was more than glad to be the first one to do so.
When she got out, she was still humming, starting to dress herself for the day, and then her phone dings, making her grab it and smile widely as she reads the notification. Vickie had messaged her ‘Miss you already :(‘ and Robin couldn’t help but giggle at it and jump up and down in her excitement. She cannot wait to tell the girls, to tell you, to tell Steve. She had disconnected herself from her phone the whole weekend because she just wanted to spend it with Vickie, entirely. 
She whistled as she stepped in her boots, replying to Vickie as she did, saying she missed her too and it was the truth. They were entering the Honeymoon phase already, and she cannot wait to go on that ride. She went into the messages she has with you, and instantly messaged you.
“Hey, you up?” After a few minutes, there was another response.
“Yeah, I am.” Robin smiled at that and replied back to you as excitement ran through her veins.
“I’m going up and we can go get a cup of coffee!” She didn’t even wait for your response, she just got up from her bed and grabbed her wallet to pull some bills out and put them back in her pocket. She walked out of the room, shaking her wet hair from side to side to dry it a bit and have a little bit of movement. 
How were you going to react? Are you going to be happy? You probably will, and she can’t wait to tell you everything Vickie and her had done through the weekend, except for some details that remain private. She can’t wait to tell you how they got together, how the confessions occurred, and what they ate on Friday night. She was rocking back and forth on her heels as she went to pick you up. She knew that she had to pick you up to get the coffee so that you would move. Many times you declined because you were lazy, but Robin always made you get up from the couch, and you didn’t have a say in it.
When she reached your floor, she walked towards your door whistling softly. She knocked on your door in a happy tune.
“Wakey wakey!” She says through the door for you to hear. She licked her lips as she waited for you, still rocking back and forth on her heels. Some seconds passed making Robin become impatient and she started knocking on the door again. “Come on, let’s go!” 
“Alright, alright!” She hears your muffled voice on the other side, unlocking the door and you get out of your apartment through a small gap in between the door and the frame. Robin got confused at that because you didn’t open your door entirely, but she dismissed it with a shrug. What confused her even more was what you were wearing.
“Well hello to you too, cranky.” Robin says and you yawn, shaking your head at her and that’s when Robin noticed the bags under your eyes, and how red they looked. “You alright?”
“Yeah, I’m just tired, didn’t sleep an inch last night.” You say to her and she hummed, still worried about how you were looking as the both of you started walking to the elevator. You had make up, and when you didn’t sleep you always put some concealer on after learning how to properly use it. Maybe you just didn’t have the time or energy to do it this morning. Once the metal doors closed, Robin talked again.
“I think I haven’t seen that shirt or those pants in ages.” She says and you look down at yourself, a gulp passing your throat as you fix the ponytail you were wearing.
“I threw everything else in the washer.” Was your short reply, and Robin’s heart accelerated because something didn’t feel right, but she was hoping it was just a wrong hunch, just something that she was overthinking probably. “You didn’t message me all weekend.” 
And that was the queue for Robin to smile widely as she started talking nonstop about her date. You were faintly smiling at her as she told you how Vickie had tripped when walking in the street with her and she took the opportunity to hold onto her hand. She told you how it was Vickie the one that confessed in the diner that she felt something else for her, besides friendship.
“And then, outside of the diner, I just grabbed her and kissed her. I was just so impatient, maybe too anxious, but I couldn’t help myself! She just looked so pretty under the neon lights…” She continues saying as you both slowly walk down the street. Your face was down towards the floor all the time as if you were watching your steps. 
“Doesn’t explain why you didn’t talk to me all weekend Robs.” You try to let out a giggle, but it comes out as a small huff, which Robin barely noticed as her eyes lit up in excitement.
“I– well, she kind of invited me to her apartment… Afterwards.” Robin was blushing now, rubbing the back of her neck, not noticing the pained expression that had crossed your features. 
“That’s… Great Robs, so you just spent Saturday at Vickie’s?” You ask to keep the conversation going as a man is walking your way. Robin didn’t notice how you traded places with her, putting yourself closer to the street as the man passed between the building and Robin.
“Yeah… I just wanted to be with her, you know? And yesterday we could talk more calmly about what we were, where we were standing.” She explains, her whole face red as the memories keep flashing in Robin’s mind, blissfulness all over her body.
“And where are you both standing?” You ask her, now looking towards the ground again. Robin’s chest filled with excitement and giddiness again, twirling in her place as she walked with you.
“We’re dating!” Robin smiles dumbly and completely dazed as you two keep walking. She really can’t wait to tell the other girls, wait till they know that she and Vickie finally made it work. She can’t wait to tell Steve that he can eat his words, telling her she had no balls to tell Vickie what she felt… Though, Robin believes Steve was doing it to give her some sort of boost, and impulse.
“I am so happy for you Robs.” You try to sound enthusiastic, you really are trying because you are happy. You are happy for your friend. 
But everything else was just numb. 
“Thank you! Okay we’re here! Should we get our table on the corner like we always do–” Your eyes drift up and into the coffee shop. The green eyed young man was at the counter, already waving your way because for the past month you have been getting coffee in this family business. His name is Adam.
And your eyes looked down at the floor again.
“I– I prefer to go back home Robs, I don’t feel all that well…” You excuse yourself and Robin turns to look at you with an eyebrow raised up in worry.
“Are you okay? Shit, you should have told me you felt sick…” Now Robin felt guilty for not giving you the chance to tell her that you were feeling like this. She acted out of selfishness on wanting to tell everything to you that she didn’t think about you or your feelings at the moment. You look at her and you shake your head desperately not wanting her to feel guilty.
“Yeah, just tired…” Robin nods at that because she can see the bags under your eyes, she doesn’t know why you were tired. You probably ended up playing games till late like you always did. 
“Alright, then let's get the coffee to go.” She says, giving one step inside the coffee shop. Your nervous hand reaches quickly to her sleeve, making her stop in her tracks and give you a puzzled look.
“Um… There’s another coffee shop, called Sunflower!” You say to her, almost desperately, only getting a confused frown from Robin’s part.
“It’s like– five more blocks away! Let’s just get coffee here and go back.” Robin turns and you let go of her sleeve, standing still in your place as you look down to the floor. She felt that you weren’t following her, so she turned around again, examining you. A weird feeling sat in her stomach, something along the lines of dread, of worry. She waited for you to talk, waited for you to say the words she was fearing of hearing again from you, words that she was happy you finally let go of, or— that’s what Robin thought.
“U-Um… Can you get my order?”
Those words that you only said when you couldn’t buy something because a man was at the cash register. Milkshakes you asked Robin to buy for you because the big man behind the counter had winked at you. Coffees that Robin had to drive and get for you because no female baristas were working at any close coffee shops. Robin’s eyes widened as she slowly turned to see the puzzled look of Adam, looking at you both as he took the order from an old man that was sitting in a corner. 
“Please… tell me that you didn’t just ask me that.” Robin’s eyes looked for yours but you were looking down at the floor, maybe in shame, maybe in fear, maybe in complete embarrassment, maybe in sorrow, maybe in despair. Robin’s heart crumbled in her chest as she pulled you away from the coffee shop’s entrance, grabbing you by your hand and dragging you a couple of steps away.
“Robin– You’re hurting me–” Robin let go of your hand and made a sharp turn with a frown to her eyebrows, tears prickling in her eyes as she shook her head at you. 
“What happened!?” She asks you and you gulp heavily, shaking your head at her. Robin wanted answers, she needed them, and you were not giving them to her. What happened this weekend for you to act like this again? What happened to you? What made you go back to the starting line?
“N-Nothing, I don’t know what you mean–” You started but you could already see Robin’s hair almost frizzing up in anger, or in confusion.
“Don’t play fucking dumb with me! The clothes!? The lack of makeup!? Your hair in a loose ponytail and you didn’t even comb it!” Robin was breathing heavily now as your eyes didn’t focus on her face any longer, just looking to the side as tears started filling them. “And now, you couldn’t even LOOK at the guy you’ve been ordering coffee from for the past month!” 
“I just feel weird today, that’s all.” Was your short answer, and Robin tilted her head at you, her brain trying to work but she didn’t want to lose you. She didn’t want to lose the you from the last two months, and she was feeling like your brain shut that person out. She remembers how you didn’t let her see inside your apartment at all, and she straightened up, turning to start walking back to the complex. “Robin?”
“Come on.” Was her only command. You were confused as you followed her, walking the streets at a quick pace, making your breathing grow heavy. Once you got to your complex, you both got inside the elevator and you let out a sigh but then your eyes widened when Robin only pressed the button of your floor.
“Aren’t you going home?” You ask, nerves already creeping up in your body, a cold sweat invading your fingertips, and you felt yourself growing more desperate the sound of passing each floor dinged inside the elevator. “Robs, I feel sick, really–”
“Shut the fuck up.” You jumped at her words. She never cussed at you, she actually almost never did in any circumstance. The metal doors opened, and your eyes widened, walking quickly to reach your door before Robin could catch you, but she was quick to grab onto the handle of your door, looking at you.
“Um… It’s a mess inside–”
“Open the door.” You blinked at her and you slowly shook your head. She can’t see it. She can’t see what you did. You will just disappoint her. You know it. Robin’s eyebrow twitched and she took a deep breath in, trying to calm herself. “Open the door.” 
She wasn’t going to leave, and you knew that. There was no escaping this confrontation, and you weren’t going to win it. You could run away, but Robin would sit and wait for you to come back and open the door. She wasn’t going to leave. She wasn’t going to give up on you, on this, even if you had already given up. You took your keys out of your pocket with a trembling hand, and Robin held your hand and helped you guide it into the keyhole, opening the door.
Robin walked in, turning the light on. She looked around and everything seemed to look the exact same, except… The trash bags that sat outside your room, piled up one next to the other. Robin’s eyebrows twitched, fear settling in her chest as she walked towards one of the bags. You closed the door behind you and your eyes widened when Robin bent down in one of the bags.
“What the fuck…” You hear her say and that’s when your mind started spiraling again. Everything was coming back to you as she slowly raised up again, and she turned to look at you with the purple dress in her hands. “Why… Why are all your clothes in trash bags?”
“I–I was doing some… Marie Condo cleaning thing.” You lied, but it came out as a tremble, your eyes scanning the dress in Robin’s hands, memories flashing over your eyes and your brain was just telling you how delusional you were being. How stupid you were for trying to be someone like that. You knew you were never that, you knew it, and you weren’t going to ever be. 
“Cleaning my fucking ass!” Robin yelled, making you jump again. Why was she so mad? Why isn’t she happy that you went back to your old self? Why is she acting this way with you? “You made so much progress! So much! Why are you going back!?” 
“I– I don’t understand what you’re saying, I never changed–” 
“You fucking did! You changed into who you actually are! You changed into someone that knows what they like, knows what they want! So what is all this shit!?” Robin motioned to all of the trash bags that contained your new stuff, and you felt your heart shrinking at each word that came out of her mouth. You shook your head at her as your tears started to burn your eyes.
“This is who I am. The things in the trash bags were just costumes Robin, they are something I am not!” Robin couldn’t believe what she was hearing. There must be a mistake, everything was fine on friday night, everything was incredible, you sounded so happy, you sounded and looked like you were glowing. She didn’t ask why you looked like that, but she feels like she might know why. She has a feeling inside of her that tells her that is right.
“This is not who you are! THIS is who you shaped yourself to be in order to feel safe!” You flinched at the word ‘shape’. You didn’t shape yourself, you didn’t put this skin to protect yourself, she was wrong. Everyone is wrong. 
“Why can’t you accept me for who I am!? Why does everyone want to mold me into what they want!? Into what society wants!?” You weren’t looking at her, your eyes looking at the counter. Your voice was loud, taking Robin by surprise, but something in your words caught her attention. 
Everyone? 
“I accepted you, always! But the past months I felt like I actually got to know the real you! For the fucking first time!” At her words you rolled your eyes as a tear fell down your cheek.
“Right, because I started dressing myself with short shit? Because I started talking to guys? Is that the ‘normal’ for you?” You were in complete defensive mode, and Robin knew that, but she was taken aback by your response. You two never fought, ever, and this would be the first big fight you two would have, but Robin wasn’t going to lose it.
“No! Because you let yourself go! You started doing shit you actually wanted to do, and you even voiced it out! You got stuff that you wanted, and then you learnt to not ask for a second opinion on it! You liked stuff and you got it!” She motioned to all of the trash bags again, her voice breaking from how loud she was starting to get. “Everything that’s in these bags, are things YOU picked! No one else did for you!”
You flinched at her words. You did pick those clothes, you did pick the makeup yourself, you did pick many of the accessories yourself… But you picked them probably because you knew what everyone might like, driven by that, more than what you actually enjoyed wearing. You were driven by what he might like. What he might enjoy. What he always looked at every time he went to work. 
“Robin, I don’t want to listen to you any longer, if you can’t accept–”
“Accept who you are, I always did! And I always will! This part of you–” She motioned to your body, your clothes, your hair. “I accept, AS WELL, as this side of you.” She then motioned to all of the trash bags in the living room. 
“You are not fucking showing it.” You spat at your friend with venom in your voice. Robin was not going to let you walk out of all the progress you made, she wasn’t going to give up on you, she wasn’t going to let you give up on yourself.
“What the fuck happened? What made you revert into your past self?” Robin walked towards you, slowly, as if she were approaching a scared dog. You blinked at those words, turning to finally look at her. 
“You mean, why did I stop pretending something I’m not? They’re two different things.” Robin saw it in your eyes, there was an emptiness, as if someone had punched a hole somewhere in your body and your blood was slowly draining out from your body. There is something behind your eyes, something behind your defensiveness, something behind your quivering lip that simply broke you.
Something happened this weekend. Something definitely happened to you. 
“You need to tell me… what happened. Did someone hurt you? Did someone make you feel bad?” Robin didn’t know what to ask because you weren’t giving anything out. She didn’t see anything out of the ordinary except for the bags, and she had to know what was going on in your head. You simply had to talk to her.
“Nothing happened. I just realized many things.” You were looking down at the floor again, and Robin’s hands slowly raised up to land on your shoulders. Your eyes were different now. They weren’t empty no more. They were hurt. Completely and utterly hurt. Your eyes were going back and forth as memories kept flashing in them, moments that you thought were real, moments that you thought were created with honesty, with the truth. 
“Baby… What happened?” Robin said softly, her voice trembling slightly because you weren’t responding. You weren’t answering, and she was going insane about it. She wants to help you, she needs to help and she doesn’t know how. 
“I need to be alone.” Robin shook her head, not wanting to do what you were asking, but you sent her a look that sent shivers down her spine. “You need to leave.” 
“What–” She couldn’t finish her sentence, as the tears in your eyes were starting to pool on the water lines, and your breathing turned heavy. You pushed her arms away from you, and walked to the door, ripping it open. 
“Get out!” You yelled at her. You actually yelled at her and Robin knew you were far gone. You weren’t going to listen, you weren’t going to talk, you weren’t going to let her in. She choked up on her own words, swallowing them as the anxiety of the situation was eating her at her stomach. Robin took a deep breath in and walked towards the door, giving you a final look.
“Please… talk to me when you’re ready.” You simply glared at her as tears rolled down your cheeks, and the moment she was out of the door, you slammed it shut, locking it as quickly as possible and your hands were pressed against it as the breathing turned almost painful.
Through the entire morning you had been holding back tears, holding back the emotions that were swirling in your mind. How can you tell Robin that Eddie tricked you? How do you even explain to her that you also feel like she knew? Steve was the one that told you about it, and her and Steve were almost best friends now. It’s impossible for her to not know about their second jobs.
You tried really hard to keep yourself together this morning, you really tried. You didn’t want to cry anymore because you felt like you were drained, only for more tears to appear out of nowhere. You could hear your phone buzzing in your pocket and you clenched your eyes tight. He hasn’t stopped calling, he hasn’t stopped messaging you, he hasn’t stopped asking if you were okay even when you told him you needed some time alone this weekend.
He wouldn’t leave you alone.
And that was confusing you, not understanding why he still wanted to talk to you when he already got what he wanted. He already tasted you, so what else does he want? The worst part is that he got everything now. He had you in every shape and form, in body and soul, and he doesn’t even know that. He just wanted the physical part and he doesn’t even know that he got more than just your body. And he will never know.
For the past two days you couldn’t even bring yourself to throw the bags out of the apartment. There was this string holding you back, it was invisible, yet you knew it was there. You wanted them out of your house because the pain of seeing them there is just too great, but you couldn’t even lift one bag up. You couldn’t even imagine putting a bag for donation because the pain becomes even bigger than having the bags in your house.
You slammed your back against the door as the tears kept coming down your cheeks, sobs ripping out at your chest. You slid down all the way and onto the floor, pulling your knees up to your chest, hugging them tightly as you pressed your face into them. You didn’t know what you wanted. You don’t even know if letting go is the right choice because you still hurt either way. But that’s life isn’t it? Letting go to move forward.
Your nights were sleepless, your pillows very much stained with all the tears that went through their fabric, yet you didn’t change the bedsheets. You didn’t, even if you should have. You didn’t let go of those sheets. You didn’t let go of that night. You didn’t let go of his scent. You didn’t let go of what he made you feel. You didn’t want to let go, yet you knew you had to.
Because it was all a lie.
Why is life this hard? Why is everything this way for you? Why can’t you just be happy with who you are? You’re a fucking hypocrite, telling Robin to accept you as you are when you can’t even do it yourself. You were torn between knowing who you are and who you wanted to be. You didn’t know anymore. You just didn’t. You were feeling as if something was ripped away from you, and you didn’t know if it was your heart, or that you that laughed when you tried to teach Billy how to braid hair, that you that danced around the living room with Steve twirling behind you, or that you that kissed a man because she really desired to do so.
A man that wrapped you around his finger, to then engulf you into his whole hand, crushing you bit by bit as he squeezed. You don’t want to keep going like this. You don’t want to give him any more trophies. You don’t want to remember anymore, you want your memories to vanish completely, yet you don’t want them to at the same time. You had to let go. You had to let him go.
Today you’ll throw the bags out.
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Robin was breathing heavily as she paced around in her apartment. 
She couldn’t talk to anyone about this because no one knew what you did the past two months. Robin didn’t even tell the other girls that she had a new friend called Steve. She didn’t even tell Vickie yet, and now Robin was losing her mind on who to talk to about this. She needed help.
She was trying to remember if you said anything on Friday, anything that would give her any kind of lead. She cursed at herself because she just remembers being too excited about her date with Vickie that everything else was being blocked out. Focus Robin, focus. She was at the mall when she called you, and she does remember you glowing, but what did you say?
Robin was slamming her hand on the counter as she tried to recall every second of that call. She went into a store, she remembers looking for a shirt, and then you had asked her how did she know she liked Vickie. Something about attraction. Something that made Robin look at you with knowing eyes. She straightened up, freezing.
Groceries. You didn’t go to the grocery store.
Robin’s hands immediately rushed to get her phone, not caring that it was ten in the morning and her friend might probably be asleep right now. She remembers Steve being home on friday because he was sick, very sick, so she has to know if you went to their house that night. She immediately started calling her friend, her phone raised up, waiting for him to answer.
No answer was coming and Robin Buckley was desperate. She needed to talk to Steve, she needed to know where you were that night. She cursed under her breath and grabbed her car keys from the counter. She doesn’t like driving much, but for you she would drive 9 hours straight if it were necessary. She was flying out of her complex in the matter of seconds, and in the matter of minutes, driving by many red lights, she got to Steve’s building. 
She parked the car as best as she could in her hurry, knowing she might get a ticket for how badly it was sticking out but it was the least of her worries right now. You didn’t look fine, and she was scared. She ran to the intercom, pressing her finger in his apartment number repeatedly, not stopping at all until a very tired Billy Hargrove answered on the other side.
“I swear to god, whoever it is–”
“It’s Robin! Let me in!” She says in a hurry as her legs start making her bounce up and down in her anxiety. 
“Robin, it is too early–”
“It’s an emergency!” She almost yells and Billy could sense the high pitch in her tone. Robin heard the buzzer going off and she rushed inside the building, and she sighed a thank you to whoever was above that the elevator was already in the lobby. She was tapping her foot repeatedly as she kept pressing the desired floor button, even if the elevator was already dinging that it was going up, as if it were going to make it go faster.
Once the metal doors opened, her legs immediately stomped towards the door, knocking onto it at a quick pace, her breathing heavy as she waited for anyone to open the door. At the small turn of doorknob, she was pushing herself in, making Billy stumble backwards, his eyes widening at the gesture as he sees the tornado Robin is leaving behind in her rush.
“Is Steve up!?” She turns to see Billy closing the door with worried eyes, a frown in his eyebrows as he keeps looking at Robin. Her answer came quickly when she heard the metal clinking of the stairs as someone headed down. She turned to see Steve in his blue robe and boxers, rubbing his eye with one hand as he held the phone with the other.
“Why do I have 10 missed calls from you Robin?” Steve says with a grunt as he finally reaches the bottom of the stairs. She immediately rushes towards him, grabbing him by the shoulders as his eyes widen at her.
“Something is fucking wrong, I don’t know what even happened but you need to tell–”
“Robin!?” Her head snapped almost as it turned to look at Eddie, running down the stairs, skipping a few even and almost falling in his hurry. Robin frowned at his yelling as she let go of Steve and Eddie rushed towards her. She could see bags underneath his eyes from lack of sleep, his hair was a mess and scrunched up into what looked like a bun and he simply seemed drained.
“Eddie, jesus fuck, you have to help me!” Robin lets go of Steve who was now very much awake and aware that something wasn’t right. He looked at Billy for answers but the blonde boy simply shrugged at him, still with the worried frown in his eyebrows. 
“First, you fucking help me, she is not answering to any of my texts or my calls! She told me she needed time alone!” Robin winced at his words, shaking her head at him as she put her face in her hands in despair. You wouldn’t even talk to Eddie? How can he help you if you cannot even talk to him?
“She regressed.” The three boys were looking at Robin for more explanation, but Eddie’s heart was already at his throat. He was hoping that it didn’t mean what he thought she meant. He was hoping that this was not happening, not with all the progress you made. He was hoping that this was not happening, right before he got the chance to–
“What do you mean she regressed?” Billy dared to ask. He was looking at Eddie, not even at Robin because he was worried about his friend, his friend that was looking at Robin with fear in his eyes. His friend that hasn’t slept since friday. His friend that is going to have a heart attack if he doesn’t speak to you soon.
“She’s back to square one.” She puts her hands down as she looks up at Eddie with tears in her eyes. “I don’t know what happened, her new clothes are all in trash bags, as well as her make up I think? We went to get coffee an hour ago and she couldn’t even fucking look at the guy behind the counter.” 
Eddie’s world crumbled.
His shoulders sagged as his breathing stopped, feeling as if his soul was coming out of his mouth. No… No, no, no. That couldn’t be right, everything was fine friday morning, everything was amazing friday morning, everything was perfect friday morning. It cannot be, it surely cannot be… Did he do something wrong? He talked to you later that day and you didn’t respond, not until midnight where you told him that you needed time alone to think about stuff.
That had already stabbed him once in the chest. Did you regret what happened? Did you regret him? Did he overstep? Did he read the signs… wrong? But now, knowing the reason why you didn’t want to talk to him was enough to actually kill him. How could it happen? How did you regress? Did something happen to you on that day? Did he say something in the morning that wasn’t to your liking? Was it because he had to leave? Did you think he was done because he left for work?
“Robin… Please tell me it is a joke.” Robin simply looked up at Eddie, dropping her hands from her face with her eyebrows meeting in the middle. She shook her head at him, and he huffed as he brought a hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose as he tried to think rationally. He had to go see you. He had to meet with you. He had to talk to you. Fear was crippling all over his body at the thought that he was the reason for your regression.
“No… And I don’t know what happened…” Robin’s eyes lit up as she looked at Eddie who was still clenching his eyes together in thought. Fridays. “Did she come here on Friday?” Eddie opened his eyes with a confused frown in his eyebrows.
“I wasn’t here on friday, I was working.” He shortly replies and Robin blinked and tilted her head in confusion. Fridays were Eddie’s day off, she clearly remembers because you were always excited about Fridays coming up. You were always preparing your next Friday night with Eddie as soon as last Friday finished. So that leaves–
“Shit.”
Everyone’s eyes landed on the brown haired man that was standing in the living room with a lost look in his eyes as he stared at the floor, a frown in his eyebrows as his head slightly moved as if he were remembering images of a movie inside of his head, and then, his eyes clenched as if he were in pain, running a hand along his face in complete despair.
“Steve?” Robin was afraid of what was happening to her friend, not liking his movements at all, not as if he is remembering something that he is regretting at this very moment.
“Shit… Shit, shit, shit.” Steve started pacing back and forth, his fingers running up into his scalp as he held tightly onto his hair. Eddie was immediately on his ass, stepping closer to his friend as his ears started tingling with anticipation, with even more fear than before, knowing something definitely happened now, and it had nothing to do with what happened between the two of you.
“What is going on? Steve?” Billy’s voice was strong, but it was mixed with nervousness now because Steve looked anything… but innocent.
“Fuck, she told me to not tell you she came over, I was fucked up in medication and–” Steve was breathing heavily as his memory started to become clearer each second it passed and he cursed at himself at each word he remembered. 
“Steve, what the fuck did you say to her?” Eddie sounded nervous, afraid, and Robin caught on that, looking at him with a confused frown in her eyebrows. Steve let a heavy sigh out of his lips as he looked at Eddie with pity written all over his face, as well as regret.
“I’m so sorry Eddie, I– Fuck, it was before you told us about it, and… shit, she couldn’t even look me in the eye and I didn’t fucking notice–” Eddie’s mind was racing. You came here on friday, the day you always knew it was his day off, and he wasn’t here, and Steve–
“Please tell me you didn’t.” Eddie almost whispers, but not quite, it was more of a threatening tone towards his friend, and Steve could only look at Eddie with regret flashing into his eyes.
“I told her… I told her that you were at your second job.” 
Everyone froze. Everyone except Robin, who was confused, looked back and forth between the three men. Second job? What did he mean? Why are the three of them completely frozen? Why is Eddie turning whiter at each second that passes? Why is Steve looking so guilty? 
“Second… job?” Robin dared to ask and Steve winced, clenching his eyes shut as he gulped and looked down at the floor.
“I didn’t want you to judge me… So I never told you about it…” Steve licked his lips as he looked up at Robin this time, not daring to look at Eddie, not right now, not this second. “We sometimes… fuck our clients… sometimes for money, sometimes–”
Everything was interrupted when Eddie let out a big scoff, almost as if what he just heard was unbelievable. Steve told you that, Steve fucking told you that right after Eddie slept with you. Nobody knows about you two, and if they do, it wasn’t thanks to his mouth. He didn’t talk about you in that way with anyone, and he now sees how fucking stupid it was to do that.
If he had told his friends about what was going on with you sooner, they’d understand and encourage it. If he had told his friend about what happened between you two, they would know what they could say and what they couldn’t. If he had told his friends about his decision sooner, rather than yesterday night, Steve wouldn’t have opened his mouth the way he did with you on Friday. 
But he couldn’t blame his friend. Yet, the anger was still deep in his chest as he shook his head at Steve, who only gulped as he looked at Eddie. 
“Eddie, I didn’t know… I didn’t even know you didn’t tell her–” But Eddie couldn’t hear anything else any longer. His only thought was you, he needed to get to you, he needed to see you, to talk to you, to clear things up, to tell you what he feels for you, to make you understand him, hoping you would. 
“Steve, if I don’t fix things up with her, I am shaving your fucking head.” Eddie was already marching up towards the door after grabbing the keys from the keyholder next to the door. He could hear Steve sighing behind him and Robin’s mind puzzle was slowly putting itself together, and as it did, she rushed towards Eddie to stop him, grabbing onto his arm, making him look at her with a frown to his face, only to be met with rage behind Robin’s eyes.
“If what Steve said is right, then you are the fucking reason for her regression!” Robin was enraged. She knew that you felt something for Eddie, and she also knew about you going out with him on thursday. She also knew you two had kissed, because of course Steve was not going to not tell her about how he kissed you himself and that you didn’t even flinch, telling her how amazed he was with your progress. She knew, and she knew now that Eddie had fucked up.
“Robin– It’s not what you think–” Billy tried to stop Robin but she wasn’t having it, not letting go of Eddie’s arm at all.
“He is just going to keep hurting her, so don’t you dare fucking go Munson.” Eddie’s eyes were still locked into Robin’s as his face scrunched up, guilt and anger mixing together as he looked down at her.
“I never meant to hurt her. Not even once. You’re not the only one that cares about her, not anymore Buckley.” He replied back in the same manner that she was talking to him. They were both glaring at one another, invisible daggers being thrown and Robin was still not letting go of Eddie’s arm. 
“Robin…” Steve slowly approached her and put a hand over her shoulder, making her look at him with anger in her eyes. “Let him go. Let him talk to her please…” And everyone noticed that guilt that was pooling in Steve’s mouth, and everyone could see it in the pained frown that took place in his eyebrows. Robin’s eyes softened as she looked at her friend, and then turned back to Eddie. Eddie’s eyes were different now, almost begging her for something, and Robin slowly let go of his arm.
“She won’t answer you.” Eddie licked his lips as he looked at the door, thinking of a way to talk to you, to get you to open the door for him. His eyes lit up, looking back at Robin.
“But she will answer you.”
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You finally decided to take a shower, after these past few days you did not want to leave your bed at all. You were rubbing the towel on your wet hair as you walked to your drawers to throw on your grey leggings, a plain white shirt and a long oversized white hoodie over you. You looked at yourself in the mirror as you started combing your hair with your fingers and god… Your eyes.
They were puffy, too puffy, and the bags under them were not helping the situation. You just looked like a monster, a very tired monster. You dragged your feet towards your dirty laundry basket, throwing the towel in there. Your eyes then scanned over the sheets on your bed, making you wince almost in pain. You have to. You have to do it. 
So first, you took the covers off your pillows, then your sheets, then the fitted ones, throwing them into the basket as well. Okay, that’s done. You walked over to your closet and tiptoed to reach up into the tallest shelf to retrieve new sheets. Your heart was tugging at you as you dressed your bed in its new soft fabric, the smell of softener just filling the air and the sweet cologne was already gone. You wanted to have just one more smell as you put the comforter over your bed, looking at the laundry basket. You shook your head at how creepy that was.
You gulped loudly as you walked out of your room, seeing all the trash bags still resting against the wall, waiting for you to take them out. You took a deep breath in as you pressed a hand against your forehead, your belly turning at every moment it could, the memories just coming back, your brain reminding you of how naive you were, the nagging feeling of what could have been, and the grief of losing a dear friend. 
How were you going to move on from this? Is there a possible way to mend your heart back? To return to your old self? Because even that person is broken. Even the person that you were before all of this is completely shattered, and it’s like you don’t know yourself any longer. Who are you? What do you like? What do you look for? What are you yearning for? What is going to happen to you?
You felt lost. Completely, and utterly lost.
The ringing of your phone brought you back to reality, The Shire filled the room with its calming tone, not at all matching with the storm that you had inside yourself. You walked towards the coffee table to grab onto it, seeing Robin calling. Should you answer? Should you talk to her? You don’t even know what you could possibly talk to her about, knowing she was just going to keep pestering you about everything.
It stops ringing and you sigh, almost in relief, only for it to start ringing again. Now worry was filling your chest because maybe something happened. She was probably hurt or something, so now you didn’t doubt when you pressed the button to answer her call, a heavy breathing Robin already on the other side.
“Robs–”
“I can’t believe I already got into my first fight with her!” You hear your friend on the other side, her breathing invading your ears, and you straighten up at the sound of her distress. 
“What? Are you okay Robs?” You asked her, and you knew that she wasn’t okay at all, not by the sound of her breathing against the phone.
“No, no, I’m not… Please tell me you’re home…” Her voice softened and you blinked and looked at the door, rushing towards it to unlock it.
“Yeah, I unlocked the door, just come on up!” You tell her and you can hear a soft thank you from her before she hangs up. You started at your phone as you processed the events in your head. Robin got together with Vickie and something already happened between the two? You shook your head and you walked towards your room to look for your scented candles.
Everytime something happened to one of your friends, you always prepared the place with scented candles, incense, anything that might calm them. You didn’t have ice cream this time though. Shit. Maybe you can go later on with her to get some. It could also be that Robin was exaggerating because she has liked Vickie for a long time, so maybe the most minuscule of things might have happened with them two, and she was just elevating it all to a hundred.
You walked out of your room, your back towards the door as you placed the candles on the coffee table. You chose rosemary and lavender, to have some fresh and cleansing energy in the room. The door opened and closed, and you sighed, straightening up and turning around to greet your friend. Only for your air to be knocked out of your lungs, as if a punch was thrown right into your chest.
Why is he here?
Your heart was beating into your ears as your whole body froze as you stared at him. He was breathing heavily, as if he ran the flight of stairs all the way to your floor. His hair was completely messy even if it were in a bun, his jacket was on his hand, his arms on his sides, the shadow of his beard all over his jaw, over the top of his lip as well. He was just staring back at you with a frown in his face, but his eyes caught the bags on his peripheral vision, and that’s when you snapped out of the trance, giving your back to him.
You clenched your chest tightly as you felt nausea in your stomach, your body slightly trembling at how close he was, and the room was shrinking on you. What is going on? Robin was the one coming up, so why is Eddie here? Why? Did Robin lie to you? Why would she do this to you? Why would she deceive you like this? After what you told her just a few hours ago, how could she do this to you?
This is not right. This is not okay. Your breathing was heavy as dizziness filled your head. So many emotions were running through your body, sadness, nervousness, anger, happiness, excitement, and you don’t know which one to focus on. Your guts were turning at each second, each breath you heard from him as the world stood still for the both of you. 
You asked for time, you asked him to leave you alone, and here he is in the flesh, barging into your home. Barging into the home of a friend he lied to. Barging into the home of someone he deceived and shaped to his own liking. Barging into the home of someone he said he cared about and slept with, only to cleanse his body afterwards. You didn’t want the reminder of it, you didn’t want him to make excuses, you didn’t want any of that. 
You just wanted him out of your house.
“What the fuck?” He called out your name, and you didn’t turn around, not when you heard his voice since Friday happened. Was it possible to miss someone’s voice? How could it happen? Why is it happening? Why does it give you a warm feeling despite the pain he made you go through? Why does he have this much effect on you? You know what he did, you know what his plan was, so why does his mere voice make you happy?
You heard his footsteps going closer to the bags, and your panic settled in. He is going to touch that stuff, the stuff he said looked good on you. The stuff you bought that might catch his attention. The stuff that he recommended to you, and you went and bought it for yourself. Stuff that he didn’t even know you bought. Stuff that you decided that looked good on you at that time and simply got it, but you know that those tastes were settled in your brain by him. 
“G-Get out.” You muster to actually get your voice out of your lips, and you heard Eddie’s steps stopping. He was looking at the back of your head, a storm settling inside of him on hearing those words from you, how shaky you sound, how your body slightly trembles. But he wasn’t going to follow your orders.
“I am not leaving until you listen to me.” He states and your ears were ringing. He never went against your wishes, and that was making the anger elevate a little bit more. He was always patient with you, following your rhythm and now he is denying your request.
“I-I don’t want to talk to you!” You clenched your eyes as your shoulders raised up a bit to brace yourself for anything that he might say. His eyes hardened on your form, and his right eye twitched as he looked at the bags again.
“What are these bags?” He asks you, but he knows the answer. He just wants to know how much damage was caused, and from what he could see, quite a lot. Everything was in the bags, from your makeup to your jackets. He clenched his own eyes as a sting of pain shot through his heart, the purple dress peeking out from one of the bags.
“I said get out!” You screech again and Eddie’s patience finally breaks. He was always careful with you, always listened to you, and now you don’t want to listen to him. He understands your pain, he understands what your mind went through this past weekend, but he will not take it today. He will not let you run away, drive him out of your house, even if you call the police on him. 
“I told you I am not leaving until you fucking listen to me!” Your eyes widened as your body froze up. This was the first time Eddie had cussed at you. This was the first time that Eddie raised his voice towards you. You didn’t like it, you really didn’t like it. Why is he mad? Why is he the one that’s angry? After what he did? 
“I don’t want to listen to you!” You yell back, annoyance now mixing with your anger, and your nerves were slipping out of your fingertips as the walls just closed more on you. Eddie slammed his jacket onto the counter, patience gone by now, and it made you flinch, jump on your spot.
“You will listen to me, because I am not leaving at all until you do.” Eddie’s feelings were everywhere. He was scared and saddened by your reaction, from what Steve said to you, for how you acted towards it, and he was sad your mind was your worst enemy. But he was also angry by the fact that you wouldn’t even listen to him. That you don’t even give him a chance, letting your mind cloud every single patch of sun there might be, that there once was. 
It was not of Eddie to be this persistent. You wanted to turn around and look at him, but you knew that it was a bad idea. A very bad idea to look into the eyes of a man that looked at every part of your body, the eyes of a man that looked into yours, telling you that he had wanted you for a long time. The eyes of a man that you thought shared the same feelings as you did, only for everything to be an act, to be a lie, to be a complete trick that you stupidly fell for.
“I said I don’t want–”
“Did everything that happened between us mean nothing to you?” You straightened up, wondering if you heard him right. What? “Seriously, I thought you trusted me enough to come talk to me about this, not let your mind race like it did!” What the hell… What the actual–
“I said get out!” You yelled again, and your heart was a turmoil of emotions right now, feeling the nausea just building and building, your head now lightweight with dizziness as it spiraled.
“Jesus fuck.” Eddie took a deep breath in. He needed to calm himself down because even if he was hurt too, your pain was greater than his and he has to understand that. He understands that it must have not been easy for you, hearing that right after you two slept together, and Eddie honestly can’t blame anyone but himself for it. “That night–”
“NO!” Your hands immediately shot to your ears, covering them, your eyes clenching tightly in an attempt to block him out, not wanting to hear it from his mouth. Hearing it from Steve was more than enough and you do not want to relive that experience. Eddie knew you weren’t going to listen to him willingly, but there’s no chance that he is walking out of your apartment without talking. He took more steps towards you, standing behind you for you to listen to him despite your ears being covered.
“I know what Steve said to you.” He begins as his heart wants to come out of his throat, looking up at the ceiling. “I was at my second job.”
Your ears buzzed at the confession, your eyes now burning with incoming tears as your heart broke even more if it were possible. Why is he doing this to you? Why is he clarifying what you already knew? Is he just rubbing the salt on the wound for pleasure? Does he think that everything is going to be better just because he explains it all himself when he should have done it when he met you?
“I don’t want to hear–”
“I did hide it from you… As I hid it from everyone else, even Steve.” Your eyebrows frowned at that, his words not making any sense at all. Steve was the one that told you about his second job, Steve was the one that told you he was with a client. What does he mean? Why is he confusing you this way? You shook your head in between your hands, not wanting to hear him any longer.
“Please, stop–”
“Before I met you, I did, in fact, sleep with clients for the money… It was a good income, an extra one…” He took a deep breath in as he looked at the back of your head again, seeing your shoulders shake slightly, and all he wanted was to hold you close to him, caress you, soothe you and calm you down. “But after meeting you… I started declining calls, offers…”
A tear rolled down your cheek as you heard him talk. Is he telling you the truth? Does this mean that he wasn’t with a client on Friday night? Does this mean that he never got together with a client right after meeting with you? Your heart was painfully beating inside your chest now, as confusion was making your body heat start to increase, blood just pumping all the way to your fingertips and your head.
“I don’t get it…” You softly say to him. He gulped heavily as he licked his lips, looking down at the floor to try to make his nerves calm down, even if a little bit.
“I was at work on Friday.” What? That wasn’t right, Eddie’s friday nights were his day off. Was he lying to you again? Was this another trick? 
“You don’t work on Fridays.” You reply to him, almost bitterly and you hear him sigh behind you.
“I do now, because I am not on stage any longer.” That made your hands drop from your ears, shock just making you freeze in your place as you took in his words, trying to make them make sense in your brain. On stage? He works Fridays now?
“Wh-What do you mean?” Eddie’s breathing grew heavy as he pushed the gulp of nerves that was trapped in his throat. He was hoping that his words were getting through you because this is the scariest thing he has ever done. The feelings that are deep inside of him frightened him everyday.
“For the past month, I’ve been training for another job at the club. Bartending.” 
Your eyes were fixed forward, looking at the window, feeling his presence right behind you. Nothing was making sense. Nothing at all. How could he hide that fact? Why didn’t he talk to Steve or Billy about it? How did they not notice this? How was it all possible? The need to turn around to face him was slowly increasing, wanting to see his features, read him, know if he was being honest.
“How– Why didn’t you tell me?” That was the first question that left your mouth, not caring about the rest. Why didn’t he tell you this? He still hid something from you, even if it isn’t as painful, he still didn’t tell you about it, and there must be a reason for it. A reason that you might not like and that’s why he didn’t say anything.
But you were wrong. You were so wrong. Eddie’s hands trembled as he took the ponytail off his hair, letting it down so he could run his fingers through it in complete nervousness. His breathing was deep, trying really hard to control it but it was impossible, because here is where he is going to take the leap. 
This is where everything between the two of you actually changes.
“Because… I was waiting for it to be official… for you.”
What?
What did he just say?
Did you hear him right?
You stood still, eyes wide, blood completely gone from your body and you don’t even know how it’s even functioning. You don’t feel your hands, your feet, your heart, nothing. You were frozen, from head to toe. You knew that your brain was yelling something, you knew there was a buzzing in your ears, a very distant one as you slowly started to process his words, and when you did, your body started to turn by its own accord. You weren’t controlling it. It was as if you were magnetized to him.
Your eyes finally met his, and you saw him. His brows were slightly furrowed, nervousness all over his features, his brown eyes searching for yours, desperately. His face was flushed, cheeks in a tint of red that you were sure was spreading to his ears. You felt your heart working again, starting at a slow pace, only to increase in a matter of seconds, and you felt the fingertips of your hands start to tremble once again. 
“W-What?” It’s all you could say. It’s all you could ask. You don’t know what is going on any longer, and Eddie knew that you were confused. Too confused, but his heart now hurts from seeing the red puffy eyes that had bags underneath them, almost mimicking his, and knowing that he was the cause of it, was cutting him like a knife. 
“I really wasn’t planning on doing it like this… The call I received that morning– It was Joyce. I forgot I had the bartending afternoon shift.” The gears in your brain were going and going, processing every word, every eye movement, every breath that was coming out of his mouth, and every piece of information that he was giving you. Joyce… His boss. His boss was the one calling him that morning. It wasn’t a client. It wasn’t someone else.
“I–” You were speechless, you really didn’t know what to say, you have no idea how to even digest this information. Eddie sighed at your lost eyes, but he had to be honest with you, just put his heart on the plate for you, pushing the fear and nervousness away because the only thing that mattered to him right now, was you.
“I didn’t tell Steve, nor Billy. I lied to them saying… I was going to see clients but I was going back to the club to train… Shit.” He looked down from you as he stepped back to start pacing, slowly, because he was feeling as if his heart was just beating all over his body. “That’s why Steve said what he said on Friday.” 
This… is this real? He is actually saying this to you? You are not making it up? How is this happening? You didn’t notice that a tear was rolling down your cheek as your gear suddenly turned, stopping from going backwards, and they started going forward again, almost at a rapid pace, making you slightly dizzy at the amount of information that it was processing in a single moment. 
“I– I don’t understand…” Eddie sighed as he looked at you, his shoulders sagging slightly as his guts turned and turned, knowing he had to explain himself even further, say words that he was afraid of saying for a long time, but it would explain everything he did. Everything he did in order to be suitable.
“Sweetheart, I–... I didn’t do it just because I didn’t have the extra income of…” He shook his head, deciding to not mention that part of him any longer. “I wanted to have a chance, and I knew that I would do anything for it.” 
“A- A chance? For what?” Your heart was almost exploding, not only because of your nerves, but because there was something in his eyes that was making you feel alive again, making you feel like yourself, making you tremble with all of those feelings you have for him, those feelings that have yet to be said, but for some reason… His eyes are something that makes you hopeful, and this is what you were anticipating. 
“Angel, I… I fell for you, in ways you cannot even imagine.”
Time froze. 
The world stopped turning.
The moon stopped gravitating around it as well. 
The entire galaxy, including its stars, including its milky ways, including the expanse of nothingness, everything just simply stopped.
Those words out of his mouth, those simple yet strong words were everything you anticipated. Everything you had been waiting for. That feeling of wanting more, and more, and more, it wasn’t just physical, it was because you wanted him, in every form, in soul, in any way he had to offer. This was the ‘more’ that was chanting in your head everyday and at every minute that you looked at him. 
Your hearts could be heard across the room, beating rapidly at the same time, as the two of you simply stood there, looking at one another, breathing heavily with your chests going up and down. Eddie had a nervous frown on his face, while you were just frozen in place. Patience returned to him, and he waited. He waited for you to answer, for you to say something, anything at all. And even in your own bliss that was beginning to blossom, eyes burning from the incoming tears from the emotions you cannot handle any longer, there was still an insecure side of you. A part that didn’t let go quite yet.
“You– for me? Or–” Your eyes traveled towards the bags, and he followed your gaze, and he now understood. He now got the idea of why you put everything away, another sting of pain shooting into his heart that navigated all the way to his feet. He turned to face you again, his eyes looking into yours and you had to know. You had to know his thoughts.
“I found you beautiful back when you first sat down in front of me at the coffee shop… The day we went to the bar together and you started rambling about Harry Potter just…–” A small laugh left his lips at the realization of how deep his feelings were for you. He knew they were big, but he is realizing it all just now that they’re just huge, not quite love, but still surprising from it happening so fast. “When I saw you in your purple dress, I just, I didn’t think you could get more beautiful but– Fuck, you proved me wrong sweetheart.”
Your eyes were burning from the intensity of his words, and they were simply attaching themselves in every inch of your body, soaking them into your flesh, into your brain. You didn’t think that he found you attractive since before actually becoming friends, since before you started buying other clothes, before you started wearing make-up, heels, making your hair look nicer. 
“R-Really?” You sounded so small, so fragile, but he was going to make sure to get his feelings across with you, he was going to make sure that you knew that you were indeed beautiful, confident, and that you are your own person despite what your head might think.
“Really… Even when I came here to watch movies with you and Robin, and you were with your Pikachu sweatpants and a plain shirt, I thought you looked so cute… In the sense of– I wanted to kiss you so bad that night Angel. So fucking bad.” You blinked at his words, remembering that night. It was still on your early outings, getting to know each other, and Robin was always present at those. You were on your period and all you wanted to do was wear comfortable clothes. 
“B-But that was before we…” And he nodded, knowing what you were meaning, a red tint covering his cheeks as he looked at the floor.
“Before we even kissed. I know… And when we did, you seriously have no idea how much I had to hold myself back with you. I curse the moment that Billy and Steve walked through that door and interrupted us.” He gulped loudly and your fingertips were burning, almost itching with the need to grab onto him, of pulling him into you, your heart just pumping blood loudly into your ears.
“But when… When Steve–” More words were coming out of your mouth now, as the desperation of your excitement was getting the best of you. Your happiness was slowly returning to you, as euphoria burst from your ears, from your pores, from every single cell your body possibly has.
“Don’t get me started on that. I never wanted to rip a friend’s head before, but my fingertips almost went through the cushion I was sitting on from how bad I was clenching my fist… And then the fucking date–” He rapidly says as a hint of annoyance was found in his voice. He was jealous. He was jealous that Steve had kissed you, and you didn’t notice. You didn’t see it. 
“Why– Why didn’t you say anything?” You took a step forward to him, very small, but he noticed, and his heart could not contain its joy as it began jumping inside his chest cavity.
“I didn’t want to scare you off. I wanted to make sure that… You knew what you wanted, that you had a choice that you could make yourself…” His eyes were looking into your once lost ones. They were focusing even more, at each word his mouth let out. Your breathing was almost trembling as you kept looking at him. 
“And when… When did you…” Your face was flushing all over, heat invading every single part of your body as you looked down from his face. A soft smile appeared on his cheeks as he took one small step towards you.
“When you called me beautiful.” Your eyes widened as you locked them with his, surprised by his words. Your stomach turns with the information, trying to process it fully and let it sink that this man, this amazing man, actually feels something for you, and that it’s in the same magnitude as your feelings.
“T-That long?” Eddie’s eyes were intense as he looked at you, another step being taken as your face started to morph into that of a happy surprise, a happy excitement, and you were just glowing and Eddie knew. Eddie knew you felt the same way now, making him think that this must be a dream. This cannot be real. The girl he’s been wanting for the past two months wants him back, in the same way he wants her. 
“Angel, do you have any idea how hard it is to find someone like you?” You were now gazing at him, completely entranced by his face, his voice, his scent, everything simply invading all of your senses, and you were loving it. You were adoring it. You were bathing in it. And Eddie, even if confident because he was looking at your body movement, he had to know. He had to make sure that this was real, that this was happening to him. “What about you?”
And that is the question that made you freeze again. This was another turning point, and the path that was ahead of the both of you now looked foggy, not knowing where it was headed, not knowing if it would be worth the dive or not, not knowing what the two of you might be like later on, what you two will be doing, or what you two will encounter.
But that was the adrenaline of it all, because despite all that fear, all that insecurity, all that uncertainty, you still wanted more. You wanted more, with him. You wanted the normal, you wanted the eccentric, you wanted the happiness, you wanted the sadness, you also wanted the possible little fights you two might have, and you wanted those nights where you would be tangled into one another’s arms. It’s always more, and it will never be enough. Not with him.
“I– I want you.” 
Eddie’s breathing almost stopped at your words. He wanted to sigh out of happiness, out of relief, out of excitement. His ears were not deceiving him as well as your eyes that were looking at him with intensity like never before. This was the most certain you looked. This is something you were confident on, and you were showing it. You were confident that you wanted him.
“Like…?” He asked one more time, and this was the first time that you saw Eddie lose his confidence. This was the first time that the roles were reversed. This is how you looked before meeting him, and you now realize how desperate you are becoming to not let him think that way. You were desperate to show him what your feelings were. You didn’t want him to doubt you or himself. So you took a step forward, and now, you were just inches apart, and you looked up at him, stained cheeks and red eyes, as a soft smile crossed your lips.
“Like I want to make chocolate chip pancakes for you every morning.” 
Eddie’s face immediately lit up at your words, a big dimpled smile spreading on his lips, red cheeks that beamed down at you, as his hair cascaded all around his shoulders, just like that first night you met him. His face mirrored yours, and the only difference was the tears that were rolling down your face, and these tears were different from the ones you wasted these two days. Those were tears of someone that didn’t trust in herself, tears of someone that didn’t have confidence even in her own confidence. 
But now, your tears are those of a woman who knows what she wants. A woman that is confident that the man before him feels the same as she does. A woman that is willing to fight for her desires and her dreams. Tears of pure happiness as this new feeling envelops the two of you and just swallows you in for god knows how much time. Hopefully, a long, long time. 
His hands raised up to hold onto your face, wiping your tears away with his thumbs as they softly caressed your cheeks. Your breathing heavy as his was, your hands traveling to his waist to grip onto his shirt tightly as you inched forward to him and he didn’t even hesitate when he leaned down, not wanting to waste another second apart from you, and he pressed his lips against yours. 
Sparks flew all around you, stars rained down on you as the world started spinning again, slowly, time started ticking, the galaxy was once again moving and the moon was rotating around earth. This time, everything was moving with him, every step the two of you took was going to be a journey, together or by your own.
Your lips moved with his as the kiss grew deep, wanton, but not desperate, not rough, not lustful, at least not yet. You were both tasting each other, tasting one another’s feelings, tasting what you were both missing for the past two days, even for the past month because you didn’t know how to describe your feelings, and he for not talking at all. He pulled away, but didn’t leave the space of your lips as he talked.
“You–” A deep peck. “Have–” Another one and this time it caused you to giggle in your throat. “No idea–” A series of soft pecks, moving his head from one side to the other, making you smile against his lips. “How long I waited for this.” You were both breathing heavy as he stayed hovering over your lips, and you gulped, looking up into his eyes.
“I– I would have never made you… Quit– You didn’t have to do that…” You say to him, and he knew it was the truth. Even with your feelings, all this time, you never questioned him about his job, you never said anything about it, and even if you two got together, you probably would have never told him to quit.
“I know… I know you wouldn’t have… But that doesn’t mean that it wouldn’t bother you, and honestly, the last thing I want is to hurt you, in any way, and that includes you feeling insecure.” Your eyes teared up at his words, because he was right. You would have felt that way, you would have felt insecure but not because he would cheat, but because you knew the women there were more voluptuous, more feminine, more pretty, richer… 
“But, won’t Billy and Steve miss you?” Eddie smiles at you as a soft chuckle vibrates in his throat, making you gulp from how beautiful he is sounding right now to you.
“I will be bartending near them… I still have to do some stripping over the bar, but I cannot be touched. All the money goes into the tip jar… And let me tell you, I will make more than when I stripped on stage.” You stare up at him, not believing that this man had changed his job for you, to be suitable for you, to have the chance of giving you a peaceful mindset when being with him.
“So…” Your face flushed as you tried to speak, ask him that important question that, once again, will change it all. He grinned down at you, making your heart skip a beat.
“Hmm… You’re mine and I’m yours… How does that sound?” Your heart almost exploded at those words, a smile spreading on your face as you jumped from your feet, and his eyes widened but a laugh escaped his lips as your legs wrapped around his waist and your arms around his shoulders. His arms wrapped around your frame as he tilted his head back to look at your face.
“It sounds like we can have Mario Kart nights while eating anchovy pizza.” He groaned with delight, rolling his head all around as he heard those words out of your mouth, making you laugh at his antics. 
“Fuck yes… and then we can have desert…” He smirks as he leans his face towards your neck, planting a soft kiss on your skin as you gasp slightly at the touch. You bit your lip as you closed your eyes, diving into the feeling of him being close to you again. His warmth mixing with yours, both of your scents lingering in the air, and this is everything you could have wanted.
And possibly more.
“Robin!” You suddenly screeched, making Eddie’s eyes widen and pull away from you, looking all around for the girl mentioned.
“What’s wrong with Robin?”
“She said she got into a fight with Vickie! I should call her to–” Eddie couldn’t help but laugh, throwing his head back, and you tilted your head completely confused as you looked at him. “What’s so funny?”
“Angel…” He looked at you, trying to hold in his laughter as he raised an eyebrow at you. Your gears worked, and worked, and it clicked. Your eyes widened as your face turned into that of an offended one and you slapped Eddie’s shoulder, making him wince through his laughter.
“You tricked me!” He was about to reply to you, but then you both heard a shuffling at the door, and some mumbling. Suddenly the handle moved down, and the door opened, only for Robin and Steve to tumble down to the floor after Billy had opened the door from the side. Both you and Eddie stared at the situation as Robin rubbed her hip as she stood up and Steve rubbed his chest, getting on his own two feet.
“Jesus fuck, that hurt Hargrove!” Robin shrieks and Billy simply rolled his eyes and nodded towards you and Eddie, where you were still hugging him tightly with your whole body while he held you up. Robin and Steve turn to look at the both of you, and their faces blush a deep red. You immediately jump off Eddie, and he looks at you to see your face, waiting for the embarrassment to appear, but the only thing he sees is an angry frown, making him tilt his head in confusion.
“So, uh, you guys cleared things up?” Steve says with a nervous smile as he gulps while looking at you. 
“Steve!” You took steps forward towards the brown haired guy and he yelled slightly, running towards your kitchen as you tried to grab him. Eddie snorted to then laugh at the scenario of Steve using Billy to shield himself from you, as the blonde man groaned in annoyance.
“First I gotta babysit you two eavesdropping and now I’m a fucking shield!?” You huffed in exasperation as you glared at Steve while he peered at you from over Billy’s shoulder. Your sight moved towards Robin who had a small smile on her face. You immediately rushed towards her, arms wrapping around her as she reciprocated the hug, holding you close. 
“Don’t ever scare me like that again.” Robin softly says into you and you could only nod. You were so blind by your feelings for Eddie that you forgot your own. You forgot who you were, who you’ve become, and how much you loved that person that you turned into. How much you enjoy her, how much excitement she brought to your life. 
“Can everyone leave so I can spend time with my girlfriend?” Eddie says with a groan as he walks over to you and Robin, and the blonde girl rolls her eyes as she lets go of you. Your body heated up at his words. Girlfriend. You were his, and he is yours. Your boyfriend. You have a boyfriend you actually have feelings for. A boyfriend you are attracted to. A boyfriend that no matter how many times you see him in the week, in the day, you wouldn’t get tired of, ever.
“Don’t you hoard her. She was mine first.” Eddie rolls his eyes at Robin, and wraps an arm around your shoulders to pull you back into his embrace, a smile appearing on your lips as your chest hits his. He smiles down at you and Robin couldn’t help her own lips as they turned upwards as she looked at you. “Also, remember that we have to tell the girls now about… this.” She motioned at all the boys and you winced at that.
“Right…” You say to her, knowing that is going to be another big step, and you don’t know how your other friends will react, but hopefully they aren’t too angry with you. You could only hope.
“So, all forgiven?” Eddie and you slowly turned your heads to glare at the brown haired boy and Steve immediately grabbed Billy and Robin’s hands and started dragging them to the door as he gulped in fear. “We’ll leave!” 
“Hey– But I wanted to–” Billy starts and Steve shushes him as he pushes them both out of the door, but before he could close it, Billy yelled. “I knew it, Munson! All along!” And the door closed, leaving you two alone in the apartment once again. You blinked at those words and slowly turned to look at Eddie who was blushing a deep red. He turned to you with a wince on his face.
“Billy is very perceptive.” For the ease of your mind, he didn’t tell you that Billy had actually heard you both that night. You hummed at that, still confused, but you were alone with him again, and his wince turned into a soft smile, leaning down to nuzzle his nose with yours. “You know what I feel like?”
“What?” You ask him with a small smile on your face, he leans to hover his lips against yours.
“Beating you at Mario Kart.” Your eyes open like plates as you pull away from him, and give him a squint. He chuckles at your reaction and you bite the inside of your cheek as a smirk appears on your lips this time.
“If I win again, you will watch the entire saga of Harry Potter with me, chronologically.” He throws his head back in laughter but still nods. He was planning on doing that with you anyway, the one thing you both have right now, is time. A lot of it.
“And if I win?” He asks in a sultry tone and your knees tremble at his voice, your heart in your throat as you tiptoe to plant a small peck on his lips. 
“You won’t.” And your boyfriend’s eyes lit up with a new fire, with something that was burning you inside out.
“It’s on Angel.”
Do I wanna know? If this feeling flows both ways.
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The End.
A/N: I am sobbing right now. It's the end of it all, but I won't let go of these two that easily. I thank everyone who interacted with the story, and recommended it, and was simply supportive of it. It was going to be a three part thing, and now we're at 8 and at the end!
I hope to keep giving you guys this same excitement with my other stories!
I repeat, always reblog your artists! That's the only way that engagement works on tumblr!
Taglist: @katethetank @mynameismothra @emxxblog @steph-speaks @fantasticmacaroni @aysheashea @sweet-villain @eddiemunsonthoughts @emilyslutface @bookshelf-dust @justheretostalk @vintagehellfire @trixyvixx @steeldaisies @bitchyseawitch @seventhlevelofhell @leelei1980 @kbakery @corroded-hellfire @poofyloofyy @nightonblogmountain @gothvamp1973 @hideoutside @mrsjellymunson @honey-eyed-munson @sarcastically-defensive17 @narutofan249277 @siriuslysmoking @hereforshmut @venuslayla23-blog @ghost-proofbaby
1K notes · View notes
hrtbeomi · 4 months
Text
•   — ★ ₊˚⌗ ☁️’  I’M SO IN LOVE THAT I MIGHT STOP BREATHING !
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summary. what if the txt members accidentally exposed your relationship?
pairing. txt x fem! reader wc. 0.5k                    warnings. not proofread. a/n. happy valentine's day!  i wanted to do something for this day so here it is ^^ i hope you like it <3
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choi yeonjun ୨୧
.  ࣪𖤐 wanted to post a story to his close friends but instead posted it for everyone to see.
as soon as he saw it, yeonjun would totally panic. he would delete the story as soon as he uploaded it and would send you a message telling you that he accidentally exposed your relationship.
pretty boy <3
hi beautiful, just wanted to let you know that maybe
just maybe i accidentally told everyone that we were together 😄
JJUNIE WHAT*!?#($($!?
read, 5:53 pm
he'd still be a little panicked after a few days but he's relieved to see that moa still supports him and you <3
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choi soobin ୨୧
.  ࣪𖤐 won an award and got so nervous he mentioned you
we all know that soobin sometimes gets nervous at award shows and get his tongue all twisted and this time was one of those times.
all his members were with him, grateful that they won and they were waiting for their leader to finish his speech. everything was going perfectly until he started thanking you.
“and thank you to my girlfriend yn for supporting me and-"
"thank you! have a good night!" yeonjun interrupted, completely freaking out while the rest of the members laughed nervously.
after his mistake, he got scolded by the ceo but nothing too bad ! in the end you found this more beneficial for your relationship since you didn't have to hide anymore <3
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choi beomgyu ୨୧
.  ࣪𖤐 wanted to facetime with one of his members during a live but instead he facetimed you.
the comment section started to blow up instantly as they saw your face through beomgyu's phonescreen and when your boyfriend noticed he called you instead of yeonjun, his eyes almost popped out of his skull.
he looked straight to the camera and laughed before ending the live.
“we're public now, sorry” he said to you panicked and before you could say anything he hung up.
in the end, moa was making fun of gyu on twitter and tiktok for his mistake but they were already shipping you two and he totally appreciated that ^⁠_⁠^
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kang taehyun ୨୧
.  ࣪𖤐 wanted to post some photos of him in the gym but posted one of you two instead.
as soon as he saw his mistake, he deleted the post before anyone could see it but of course, ppl already had seen it and made it trending worldwide that day but moa defended you and him, telling everyone to delete the pictures.
he hadn't told anyone about your relationship so it was a surprise for the company and his members. your boyfriend was scared they were gonna put you or him on hiatus but they only banned him from the twitter acc for a month and that was it !
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huening kai ୨୧
.  ࣪𖤐 was replying to moa on weverse and accidentally said he was dating you
your boyfriend loves to talk with his fans so of course he was gonna answer a moa that asked if she could be his girlfriend but instead of saying what he wanted, hyuka replied with “i already have one” and that made the whole fandom & him to freak out.
he rushed to post that everything was a joke but no one believed him 😭 moa was already making theories and came to the conclusion that he was dating you.
they didn't get upset cuz they were already shipping you and kai so it was like a dream come true and your boyfriend was happy they took the news well and could now tell everyone how much he loved you <33
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© 2024 HRTBEOMI
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aether-starlight · 4 months
Text
Auscultation- Zayne
Pairing: Zayne x Reader
Warnings: None. Brief mention of poor eating habits.
Summary: You come to the hospital for a check-up regarding a past shoulder dislocation. 
Word Count: 1k
Note: This is a continuation of Mending, but can be read as a stand-alone.
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Zayne was talking. Or at least, his mouth was moving. 
Instead of paying attention, you were being haunted, once again, by the memory of him. The ghost of his hand over your cheek, his perfume, and the tension of his proximity. 
You wondered if he could tell you were distracted, or if he noticed the entranced stare you gave his lips every once in a while. They reminded you of his breath brushing your ear, of his palm pressed over your eyes, cool and steady.
Until an unexpected statement broke through your fixation.
���I will need you to remove your jacket.” 
If you hadn’t known him for such a long time, the tense set of his jaw may have slipped your notice, just like the slight clearing of his throat. 
Was he angry you were distracted?
“Oh,” you breathed out. “Okay.”
It was a quick removal. After all, one of your arms was in a sling, so the leather jacket was only wrapped around your shoulder.
Having supposed something like this would be necessary —this wasn’t your first dislocation, unfortunately—, you had brought a top, which meant the only barrier between your joint and his hands was a menial string. 
And you were not nervous about that. Nope. Not at all.
You stifled a shiver at the low temperature of the room and sat on the stretcher in a swift motion—being a hunter had its perks, it made you agile, even with an injured arm.
“I’m going to examine the area,” Zayne’s voice was soft, almost breathless as his hands hovered over the space where your shoulder met your neck.
You smacked your lips together and felt yourself relax just a little. 
“Okay.” 
His fingers were as cold as the room, startling you when they gently pulled the string of your top out of the way. 
You gasped.
“Forgive me,” he said, avoiding your gaze at all costs. 
His hand hovered over your skin, giving you a second to adjust. 
“It’s fine, Doctor Zayne.” 
You quite liked calling him that, liked the nervous edge to his voice when you did.
“Does this hurt?” He pressed down the pads of his fingers with moderate force.
“Not really,” you hummed. If anything, it felt kind of nice.
Zayne cleared his throat once more, shifting his grip to your forearm. 
Your heart rushed at the slide of his skin over yours, goosebumps rising in its wake.  It reminded you of holding his hand, the way the scars on his knuckles had felt as you brushed your thumb over them.
“Your iron levels were below average in your last check-up. Have you been eating well?” He asked.
Now it was time for you to be nervous.
“Of course,” you lied, lowering your gaze to his tie. 
Like everything concerning him, it was freakishly neat, with an understated geometric pattern in shades of gray. 
He probably measured it with a ruler before buying it. You pictured it: his unforgiving focus, the concentrated tilt of his mouth as he gripped it between lithe fingers. 
Unfortunately, said focus was now drilling a hole into your head.
“Fine, I may have skipped meals, you know I forget to eat sometimes.” 
“I suppose I should be grateful you don’t forget to breathe,” he quipped. 
“You are so prickly, you know that?” 
You played with his stethoscope with your free hand, following the bob of his Adam’s apple with a satisfied smirk. 
“I’m not prickly,” he denied. “I’m serious. Does this hurt?”
He gently rotated your arm, slow in his movement.
“And I’m not? Doesn’t hurt.” 
He gave you a loaded look, resting your hand back on your lap.
You mercilessly stifled the disappointment that rose at the pit of your stomach when he let go.
“Wouldn’t be the first word I used to describe you, no.”
You pressed the stethoscope’s bell to his chest, earpieces already in place. 
“Wow, your heart is beating pretty fast, are you sure you’re not the one with the heart pro—“
“Would you quit that?” He interrupted, sounding somewhere between amused and irritated as he unwrapped your fingers from around the bell. “It’s not a toy.”
“Sorry,” you fidgeted with the tubing before passing it to him.
“What’s with you today?” 
“Can’t help it,” you beamed. “Too much coffee.” 
Zayne tucked a strand of your hair back, stifling a groan of frustration. He was a weak, weak man.
When his palm curled around the shell of your ear, cradling it like something precious, he surely knew abstaining from temptation was a lost cause.
It was now warm, absorbing the heat of your skin. As soon as you left, his hands would probably run back cold. 
Somehow, that thought made something unpleasant unfurl within your chest. It felt malleable and elastic, it wanted to stretch itself and pull him close.
“What am I going to do with you, hm?” He asked, voice low. 
The whole world could be crashing down outside, Wanderers running rampant, and you wouldn’t know.
You let out a stuttered breath.
“What do you want to do with me?” 
It was meant to come across as teasing but crumbled halfway into something nearly hopeful.
The heat in your eyes snapped Zayne out of it, clearing the cloudiness from the hematite and amber in his gaze.
He stepped back, returning to the haven of his desk, where he closed your file with finality.
“Your shoulder seems to be healing well. I recommend you watch it closely and let me know if any discomfort appears.” You had never heard his voice so close to shaking.
“Zayne.” You stood from the examination table, feeling on edge.
“That was unprofessional of me. I’m sorry.” 
“What is it?” You insisted.
There was something between you, a wall that he carefully built. 
It became eroded with every interaction, shortened into something almost letting you peek into the other side, but never quite enough.
Your chest ached and it was ironic because nowadays you couldn’t always tell if it was from emotion or the Protocore fragments in it.
Zayne sunk into his seat, pinching the bridge of his nose. The room’s temperature dropped, ice spreading against the glass of the window behind him.
“Zayne—” 
Your hand hovered by him, eager to provide any comfort you could offer, but his body language made you doubt. 
He was still hunched over himself, face turned away from you. The hand that wasn’t covering his face was closed in a fist, frost forming over his knuckles.
“Please…” he breathed out your name. “I need time.”
Your mind drifted back to when you fought that wanderer together, the way the whole room had frozen over afterward, his urgent insistence for you to leave.
“Okay,” you gave in, stumbling back. “Whatever it is, you know I’ll wait for you.”
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wineauntie · 5 months
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I DON’T KNOW WHY I AM, THE WAY I AM — the hughes brothers x hughes!sister reader
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summary: when things go south, hughes!sister reader finds herself needing her older brothers more than ever.
PART ONE HERE
note: I didn’t expect part one to get so much love and support but I’m so grateful for it, thank you and enjoy part two <33
warnings: fem reader, reader is the youngest, use of Y/N, reader has a mild panic attack and it’s alluded that she has anxiety. Reader puts everyone else before herself. Reader also has self deprecating thoughts and blames herself for a lot things.
word count: 2.1k
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"The fine line between roaring with laughter and crying because it's a disaster is a very, very fine line."
You couldn't quite recall where you'd read the quote, nor could you place who had once said it...but perhaps it could offer an explanation as to why you were simultaneously hysterically laughing as horrid sobs wracked through your body.
This whole situation was comical!
Hilarious, in fact.
You'd ruined a perfectly good dinner and everyone's good mood all for the sake of, what? A pity party for your own inner envy? A chance to berate your family? Remembering your outburst as it replayed through your head made your stomach churn and pull in all sorts of directions, forcing you to choke on another sob as you curled yourself up tighter into a ball on the wooden floor beside your bed.
It had been five minutes since you'd fled the scene of your crime and you'd barely been able to keep your emotions at bay until you'd finally shut your bedroom door tightly.
You'd already caused enough issues tonight, best not to add to the problem as your emotions peaked.
You hadn't meant to ruin everything, it had just all built up and now?... now it felt even worse than before. All the emotions you'd been repressing all summer seemed to spill out so easily once the rage had broken through the gates to allow a clear passage for everything else to filter out.
You hadn't been able to register the heartbroken faces of your brothers and parents in the heat of the moment but as their faces flashed before you now, that's all you could see. Your mom and dad had looked devastated and Quinn and Jack looked so concerned and you'd...you'd just ignored it!
And Luke, oh, his face when you'd snapped sent you into another fit of broken laughter as you cried. He hadn't meant to cause you to burst, he'd just been the unlucky one to speak at the wrong time. All he'd tried to do was help you, and you'd practically shoved it right back at him.
His crestfallen face haunted you.
A knock broke through the room and before you could call out, your bedroom door slowly crept open. Your hands quickly brushed away your tears, trying to hide your upset as a pair of footsteps slipped into your room and shut the door behind them. You felt them lower themself to the ground to sit by your side, their hand on your arm.
Quinn let out a little sigh as he let you try to cover your red-tinged eyes from him.
"Hey," He began, his head tilting towards you. His greeting was met with ashamed silence, as you struggled to keep more tears from bucketing down your face.
"Look, no one's mad at you," he started cautiously, his eyes flitting carefully around your face. His words were exactly what you needed to hear even if you didn't want to absorb them. Your tears which had been successfully stopped we're now threatening to spill over onto the cushioning of your cheeks as he pulled you into his side, your head burying itself in his shoulder.
"I don't know how to fix this, Q..." you stammered, your words broken up with staggered breaths. "I was so horrible and—"
"Stop," Quinn cut you off, "you weren't horrible or wrong to say what you did. You have to stop beating yourself up about it."
"But I usually know how to fix everything!" You sniffled through your rambling. "But I can't figure out how to fix myself or fix this big mess. No matter what you say, Quinn, I was awful and Mom and Dad tried to just help and I was a brat to them-"
Your words ended with more cascading tear drops as Quinn gently ran a hand up and down your arm trying to soothe your breathing which was beginning to get more rapid by the second, despite your eldest brother's reassuring words.
"Y/N, listen to me, you're going to work yourself up," Quinn stated as calmly as possible, his grip on you tightening ever so slightly. This wasn't the first time he'd helped you through a situation like this, he'd helped you countless times and he would do it countless more if he had to. "You need to slow down and breathe...come on, in and out,"
You nodded quickly as you tried to quash the rising swell of panic whilst you focused on your breathing.
The familiar sensation of a panic attack was slowly fading as your brother continued to coach you to breathe. You'd had these 'moments', as you called them, every once and a while, when everything got too much, and too hard in too little time. The world would cave in, your elbows pressed against an invisible, airless box as you fought to break free. In this box everything swirled in a tornado of alarm; every thought, every whim, every word a flurry of fear designed to target your very being.
You took a sudden and deep breath in, your eyes swimming with tears as you attempted to steady your breathing as much as possible.
"Atta girl," Quinn briefly smiled as his grip on you loosened. He glanced towards the door before concentrating on you once more. You squeezed your eyes shut and leaned into him as the remainder of your panic began to ebb away.
After a few moments of silence and steady breathing, Quinn began to speak again.
"We should've noticed how miserable you've been, hell, I mean I noticed this summer but I just thought...no. There's no excuses." He stopped himself as he trailed off.
"I'm sorry," You sniffed, "I didn't mean to cause a scene, I just...I'm so tired, Q, I'm so tired."
"You always bundle everything up inside when you don't have to," Quinn hummed as his hand brushed over your head, sending a wave of comfort through you.
"You should've just told us,"
Both, you and Quinn's heads snapped towards the door where Luke and Jack stood quietly. Jack, who'd spoken, stepped forward and took the space on your other side, his legs stretched out ahead of him as he fixed the hat on his head.
"We could've, uh, stopped, y'know?" He continued, clearing his throat as he looked at you. "Didn't mean to make you feel left out and we should've gone to more of your events."
"That was selfish of us," Quinn added, looking between Jack and Luke, who both nodded in agreement.
"You're not selfish," you mumbled, looking down at your hands which were fidgeting on your lap. "You're just busy. You all have your own lives, I can't expect you guys to be at everything, I'm sorry I threw it in your face."
"Stop saying sorry," Luke scoffed, his eyebrows furrowed as he moved around the room. You bit your trembling lip as you watched him pick up a few trinkets lying on your dresser.
"I..." you looked at Quinn and Jack in slight bewilderment, before focusing on Luke again. He moved closer towards the three of you before crouching down in front of you, his eyes locked on yours. "But I am sorry...to you especially, I blew up on you– all of you actually, and you guys were only trying to help me."
"Stop," Luke repeated himself, "Listen, look, we fucked up here. Stop feeling sorry." He didn't bother to look at Quinn and Jack, his eyes solely on you. Luke's sincerity caught you off guard, and you couldn't help but stare into his eyes, searching for any signs of resentment. Instead, you found a mix of concern and understanding. It was as if he wanted to convey that your feelings were valid, even if your actions were flawed.
You and Luke had always been close. You were the closest in age and it came as no surprise that you two were always thick as thieves in your childhood and yet you'd never seen him be quite as careful as he was right now.
"We all have our moments," Luke continued, his voice softening. "But now that you've let it out, let us help." You gulped and nodded half-heartedly, dropping your head to your chest.
"I don't know why I'm like this," you slowly confessed with a croaky voice whilst a shaky hand ran through your hair. "It's all so..." You paused and waved your hands around before they fell back to your lap. "...and I just feel so stupid."
"I always thought you were part robot, honestly" Jack chuckled, earning hums of agreement from your other brothers and causing you to let a small smile cross your features. "You're human, Y/N, congratulations, we all have our breaking points, and it's alright to reach them sometimes," his eyes widened before he rushed back into the conversation. "–as long as you let us help, of course."
"Look, we're here and we'll figure it out." Quinn supplied as he gave your shoulder a reassuring squeeze, while Jack offered a genuine smile. "We don't want to make you feel as you have ever again."
As you absorbed their words, a gentle wave of gratitude and relief washed over you. It wasn't fixing everything immediately, but the reassurance that you didn't have to carry the weight alone anymore made a world of difference. You let out a shaky breath, feeling a sudden shyness creep over you.
"I appreciate you guys being here...saying all this," you admitted, your voice steadier. "I let things just build, and I convince myself that I can handle it all on my own, but I don’t think it worked for me this time."
"Stubbornness runs in the family, doesn't it?" Quinn chuckled softly, "But around here we share the load."
"Ew," Luke recoiled with a look of disgust, earning a brief melodious laugh from you.
"Not like that, idiot," Quinn scoffed and reached forward to whack Luke over the head.
"Strange that your mind went there, Lukey boy," Jack joined in on the teasing, nudging the boy with his foot.
"Alright, alright," Luke huffed as he rolled his eyes and settled cross-legged on the floor.
You found yourself caught in a strange mix of emotions. The laughter and tears that had been at odds earlier now seemed to blend into a bittersweet symphony. The camaraderie and support from your brothers were a soothing balm for your wounded soul. It was as if the disaster you had unleashed earlier was being slowly pieced back together, not perfectly, but with a promise of conclusion.
With a small sigh, you finally let go of the tension that had gripped your body, allowing yourself to relax into the makeshift circle of comfort your brothers had formed around you. The room felt warmer, the air lighter, and the fine line between chaos and resolution became a bit clearer.
"I needed to let it out...I needed this to happen," you admitted, a small smile playing on your lips. "I am sorry about the execution, but sometimes, it's hard for me to see beyond the mess."
"That's what we’re for, right?" Quinn reassured, exchanging glances with Jack and Luke. "To help navigate the mess."
"Yeah, like, y'know, sometimes it takes a breakdown to experience a breakthrough," Luke spoke, still seated on the floor, tilted his head thoughtfully.
"Pack it in, Einstein," Jack teased, earning a playful shove from Luke.
"Yeah, yeah," Luke grinned, his eyes flickering with a rare vulnerability. "I've been paying attention, y'know."
The room filled with a light-hearted atmosphere as your brothers continued their banter. It was a strange dichotomy—just moments ago, you were drowning in a sea of self-loathing, and now, you found solace in the warmth of your siblings' presence– a solace you hadn’t allowed yourself to experience in a while.
Luke's eyes softened as he caught your wandering gaze once again, a silent understanding passing between you two. The air was completely clear between you and him. It was a relief to know that beneath the chaos of the evening, there was a foundation of unwavering support on his half which allowed for the knots in your stomach to gradually loosen.
"You're not alone in this, Y/N." Quinn leaned in, ruffling your hair affectionately. "We've got you…always."
"But I should go talk to Mom and Dad, shouldn't I?" You spoke up, looking at your brothers nervously. "I feel bad that I just left them there."
"What did we just talk about?" Luke poked your leg, "No feeling bad is allowed and I know that Mom and Dad don't want you to feel bad, they just want to see you be yourself again." You nodded and took a shallow breath in before letting it out. "Now bring it in team!'
Luke grinned as he flung himself towards you, landing on top of you, his arms outstretched to drag Quinn and Jack into the somewhat embrace, crushing you in the chaos.
"Luke—" you choked out, your eyes wide as Jack and Quinn struggled to get loose from Luke's chokehold.
"You love me, I know!"
"Yes, but please get off...I can't breathe!"
I hope you guys enjoyed this, I have a bunch of other imagines on the way ranging from more hughes!sister ones to ones based on the boys themselves 🫣
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