#but i am making a bit of an exception for our two new future wolverines

[workingforitallthetime]

i guess most of the ntdp 17s got buzz cuts to start the program??? it’s so wild, they don’t even look like a hockey team.

#this is not a hockey team! where is the flow! #i do not usually pay attention to the ntdp boys until their draft is impending #but i am making a bit of an exception for our two new future wolverines

[willowbird]

Second ask, can I also ask for andriel proposing (not sure who proposes but plsss)

You bet you can lovie 🔪🧡🦊

-----

The woman on the other side of the counter wouldn't stop smiling at him. Usually, when Andrew glared back at unwelcome overtures of friendliness, all smiles dropped and people did better about leaving him the fuck alone. This particular saleswoman was eerily unaffected.

"We just got a new collection in that we haven't had a chance to set up in display case if nothing here has caught your eye," she suggested now, gesturing toward what Andrew assumed was the back room with an even bigger smile on her face. "You seem like a discerning man. Nothing but the best for your special someone, am I right?"

She wasn't wrong, but Andrew was not about to tell her that. The last thing he needed was for her to start cooing or something. This was why he shouldn't have waited for the last minute to do this and should have just ordered the damn thing online.

A part of him was tempted to wait on it just so that he wouldn't have to go through the pain of ring shopping in person, but the only reason he'd waited so damn long was because he kept second-guessing himself when he knew better. He'd first thought of it almost a year ago now when Neil had first signed on with the San Diego Wolverines, putting him on the opposite end of the country. It had been a gut impulse. He'd wanted Neil to have something not just of his but of them. He'd instantly shut down the embarrassingly romantic thought and hadn't allowed himself to think of it again until a few months later when he finally got to see Neil in person for the first time since the week before summer training.

Well, until Neil had to leave after a too-short visit just before summer training. Then it had been all he could think about for weeks. Every Skype call, every text, every glimpse of Neil playing on the tv.

It had even gotten to the point where he had even fucking brought the idea up to Aaron. Yes, Aaron. He'd called him while watching the playback of one of Neil's games just after the little idiot had antagonized both on-court backliners of the opposite team into going after him. He'd ended slammed against the wall then the floor multiple times, but his partner striker had also managed to get three goals while the backliners were distracted. Neil had limped off the court but not before flipping off the other team and the cameras. Once he was led back to the benches, Andrew got to watch as Neil pulled out his phone - likely to type out the text that had been waiting for Andrew when he'd finished up his own game.

It isn't bad. I'll ice it tonight. Promise.

Because Neil knew that Andrew watched at least the highlights of all his games. He knew that Andrew would see the brutal takedown. Would see him hobble off the court. Exy was a violent sport and mild injuries were common enough - but he knew that him goading and then being taken down by two backliners each double his size would worry Andrew. So the first thing he'd done, before even attempting to insist he wasn't too hurt to finish the game, was text him.

Watching Neil get fussed over by the team's medic, Andrew had dialed his brother.

'I think I want to marry him,' he'd said without a greeting.

'No shit, sherlock. About fucking time,' had been his brother's response.

That had been a couple months ago. And he'd put it off. He'd tried not to think about it. Tried to talk himself out of it.

And in the end, here he was, standing in front of a display case of wedding bands and engagement rings at an airport jewelry store while the saleslady smiled at him like he'd just told her he was going to name his firstborn after her.

Andrew checked his watch and sighed, then nodded at her, making a ‘get on with it’ gesture with one hand. He didn’t have long before his flight would be boarding and nothing in front of him was jumping out as being particularly exceptional. He knew that beggars couldn’t be choosers, him having left this to the last minute as he had, but he may as well see all the available options. 

The woman beamed at him in a way that was quickly getting on his nerves, then quickly scurried off. She returned after only a minute or so, carrying a moderately sized black case. “I’ve got to say, this is probably the most stunning collection we’ve had in. I saw it in the catalog and hoped it would be sent to our store, too.” There were maybe twenty rings in total, and he had to admit -- they were more elegant than most of the others on display. Simple with just small details in etching, stone lay, or shaping to set them apart from each other. There was also a variety of metal colors, from yellow gold to rose to platinum and a darker metal Andrew didn’t know enough about jewelry to name. 

Andrew considered all of them carefully, dismissing the flashier styles and the cumbersome solitaires. He had done a little bit of browsing online in between those flashes of panic uncertainty, and he knew Neil. His partner’s taste wasn’t really a factor, as he didn’t exactly have any (his interest in Andrew being the general exception), but his lifestyle was. With that in mind, Andrew said without looking up, “I will also need a matching chain.”

“A chain?”

Andrew ignored her for the time being as he ran his thumb over a dark-metaled band with a single thread of rose gold running through the center. He plucked it out and took a closer look, imagining it on Neil’s hand and diligently blocking out the rush in his chest at the visualization. Right now was the time for a practical mind. He did not have the time to wallow in any emotional repercussions to making this purchase. 

“This one,” he finally said to the saleswoman, showing her the ring and quoting Neil’s size. “And the chain as well.”

“Oh, of course! Excellent choice. I’m sure your sweetheart will love it.”

Andrew grimaced. “Trust me, he is anything but a sweetheart.” If it surprised the woman at all that he was shopping engagement rings for another man she didn’t show it. She only continued to beam at him, chuckling like he’d made some joke instead of a blatant truth. 

Ten minutes later he had a little black velvet box tucked into his pocket as he made his way back to where most of his team was milling about. Static whirred in the overhead and then a smooth female voice announced it was time to board.

"Flight 87 to San Diego is now boarding in Gate G9." 

For once Andrew wasn’t sure if the swooping in his stomach had to do with the upcoming flight or the weight of a future sitting in his pocket.

-----

Andrew had begrudgingly accepted that he enjoyed playing exy now that he was on a professional level and things were more interesting. He liked working together with his defensive line and the other goalie to form themselves into an impenetrable unit, and he even got along with most of his team. Or, at least, he and most of his team had an understanding.

It was an understanding that allowed them to be at the top of the league and give Andrew the space he needed to not feel smothered. They worked together as a team, and Andrew was always invited to their bonding nights. No one pressured him to actually show and when he did decide to participate no one made a big deal of it. He was permitted to interact on his own terms.

It was a good setup, and so he'd already told his team that he wouldn't be there tonight for whatever after-game dinner they had planned. They also knew that he would be returning to Pennsylvania separately, and only two people were stupid enough to ask about why more than once.

The game went about as expected -- in that Neil’s team lost spectacularly but not without putting up a fight. Even though they lost, Andrew could see Neil brimming with bright, furious energy in the last quarter of the game. He was having the fucking time of his life, and every single time he attacked the goal Andrew caught glimpses of his savage grin.

In the end, it wasn't enough, but Neil was still wearing that smile when they all lined up at center court for handshakes. If Andrew held a bit longer and tighter to Neil's hand when it was their turn, no one seemed to notice.

"You were incredible tonight," Neil said to him once all was said and done - the press handled and both teams showered and dismissed. They were walking across the stadium parking lot to where Andrew's rental was parked. Neil exclusively relied on his bike or public transport and Andrew had not been willing to put up with that bullshit while he was in town.

Andrew snorted. "If you ask me to wear my goalie mask during sex I am going to call it quits, junkie. Contain yourself."

"Wait, is that an option?" Neil stopped walking completely and turned sharply toward him, eyes wide.

Unamused, Andrew shot him a look and kept walking without bothering to dignify that bit of stupidity with a comment.

Neil didn't lag behind for long, laughing brightly as he jogged to catch up. "Joking!" he assured as they reached the car. "Of course I'm joking. The mask would get in the way and, if I'm being completely honest - which I try to do these days - I like being able to see your face."

There was once a time when Andrew would have pointedly kept his gaze turned away so he couldn't see the look he knew was on Neil's face at that moment. Or he would have shoved Neil away, nailed him with a scathing remark, distracted him somehow. It hadn't even been all that long ago, not really. He'd been afraid of what that look meant, cautious of the sentiment it implied, panicked at the threat of what might happen if he let Neil in.

Tonight Andrew did not look away. Instead, he turned his head and basked in the light of Neil's eyes like a cat in the sunlight. He met his gaze and soaked him up, let himself settle into that warmth. If Neil was surprised by Andrew's tolerance it didn't show. He just tilted his head and smiled until Andrew finally lifted a hand and shoved his arm just enough to get him moving.

"Get in the car, you maniac. Let's get back to your place."

Neil chuckled but relented without comment and got into the passenger seat. Andrew hadn't even gotten the car started when he felt Neil's gaze on him again, warm and enveloping like hot chocolate in the bitter winter. Again, Andrew turned to look at him. Again, he basked - just a little.

This time, Neil's expression shifted just slightly, the edges of pain tightening around his eyes. Out of the corner of his eye, Andrew saw Neil's hands curl into fists on his lap.

"I missed you," Neil said quietly, and his voice was tighter than it has been a minute ago. There was a hoarseness of emotion to it that rang in tune with the hollow place in Andrew's own chest.

A hard swallow, then Andrew lifted a hand and cupped Neil's cheek. He brushed his thumb over the scars there, tracing them. He didn't say that he'd missed Neil, too. He didn't say that each day waking up without him near was like waking up without a leg, leaving him aching and frustrated as he had to relearn how to move and function when a vital part of him was too far away to touch. He didn't say... Well, he didn't say anything at all.

Instead, he leaned his forehead against Neil's and took a slow breath in. He waited until he felt Neil do the same, and then they exhaled together, mingling their breaths as proof of their proximity. He felt the warmth of it on his cheeks and another loose and rattling piece inside his chest settled into place. He kissed Neil once, just briefly, on the lips, and then dropped his hand and pulled away to start the car.

-----

Neil's apartment was only a short drive away from the stadium, but traffic dragged it out unnecessarily. They had ordered food ahead of time and swung by the restaurant on the way to pick it up, which added another ten minutes to the drive but it was better than waiting on a delivery. 

Even with the detour for food and the press of traffic slowing them down, the drive itself didn’t actually feel long. Neil carried the conversation, picking up from their last phone call as he talked about his teammates and the strange little hole-in-the-wall diner he’d been frequenting lately or the stupid pictures an overly enthusiastic Matt Boyd had sent him from the pro backliner’s recent trip to the zoo. (“Twelve, Andrew. He sent me twelve pictures of what I’m pretty sure were all of the same ostrich. Ostriches aren’t even that interesting.”)

They split up briefly as they got to Neil’s apartment, Andrew to drop his things off in the bedroom and Neil to unpack the food onto actual plates. Andrew hesitated for only a moment as he parked his suitcase, then crouched before it and unzipped the pocket where he’d stowed the ring. He had no big plan for this. There were no flash mobs waiting around the corner, no puppies with cute ribbon collars, no scheduled flyovers that would drag a banner or write a message in the sky. Andrew didn’t do grand gestures. He did not buy into commercialized love. He also was very aware of who his partner was and knew very well that Neil was the same in that regards. 

Neither of them needed that, wanted it, or - frankly - even understood it.

But Andrew knew that he did want Neil in his life. He knew that he wanted him as his partner. He knew that he wanted him as his husband. It wasn’t something that he and Neil had every really talked about and there was a very real chance that Neil would say no - not because he didn’t want to be with Andrew, because Andrew knew that he did, but because Neil already had an impression of what marriage looked like and it was not a good one. Perhaps if they were different people, with a different sort of relationship, that would have made Andrew table the idea altogether.

But they weren’t other people, and their relationship was theirs and theirs alone. They were Andrew and Neil, not anyone else, and even if he knew nothing else, Andrew knew that even if Neil did not want to marry him, his asking wasn’t going to hurt them.

So he didn’t have any big plans. He hadn’t hired singers or put together a collage of their relationship. He didn’t invite their friends and family or light candles or spread out flower petals. He didn’t even get down on one knee.

Instead, Andrew took that little box in his hand and walked out of the bedroom and directly to the living room where Neil had set their dinner on two tv trays in front of the couch as he fiddled with remote to put on one of their favorite seasons of Hell’s Kitchen. Neil smiled over at him when he heard him coming. 

“Hey, perfect timing. Did you want to start right at the beginning or skip to episode two since we watched the first episode last week? I kinda want to start right at the beginning.”

Andrew shrugged, which Neil took as agreement and turned back to the tv to select the first episode. 

“Pause it for a moment,” Andrew said as he sank onto the couch beside Neil, though he kept his gaze on the frozen flames on the screen even as Neil turned to fully face him. He always did that - always gave Andrew his full and undivided attention even when he had no idea what Andrew wanted to say. For Neil, it was always just enough that Andrew wanted to say anything at all. 

A hiccup of nerves spasmed suddenly and uncomfortably in his chest, but Andrew batted it away. All he was doing was asking a question. Just one more to the hundreds of thousands that he had already asked over the last several years. This question was no different. It meant nothing more and nothing less than any of those other questions. 

So Andrew asked it the same way. 

He turned and met Neil’s eyes, then revealed the box without any particular flourish or grandeur. He watched as confusion smoothed to surprise then understanding as Andrew opened the box to show the ring inside. 

Then he said, “Yes, or no?”

He had meant for the words to be casual and even, but they came out softer than he intended. The hand that held the box was shaking, too - which Andrew only noticed when both of Neil’s hands cupped under it. 

Neil looked from the ring up to Andrew’s face and, like he always seemed to be able to, read more there than anyone ever could. Those blue eyes warmed to summer, his smile turning soft and filled with a sentiment that did not, could not, have a description in any of the languages that Andrew knew. Andrew didn’t know what Neil saw when he looked at him like that. He had never asked and probably never would. He wasn’t sure he was ready to know, wasn’t sure he would ever be ready. 

“Andrew,” Neil said, his voice just as quiet, and Andrew realized he was holding his breath. “You know it’s always yes with you.”

Something terrifyingly wonderful seized Andrew’s chest and squeezed. It dried out his throat and beat heavy drums in the center of his chest. It took too much effort for Andrew to nod his acknowledgement, and his hand was still shaking as he plucked the ring from the box and revealed that it was on a chain. “So you can keep it with you,” he said in explanation, his voice coming out a bit too hoarse. 

“I want to wear it now.” Neil’s voice wobbled. He laughed as they both tried and failed to unlatch the clasp several times before getting it - both of them with hands too shaky to get it on the first try. 

Then Neil was wearing it, and he was smiling, and there was this glow in Andrew’s chest that he didn’t think would ever really fade. 

#asks #100 followers #aftg #andreil #wolfstsrshipper #andrew minyard #neil josten #post-canon #proposal

[bamfdaddio]

X-Men Abridged: 1975

The X-Men, those super dramatic mutants that have sworn to protect a world that hates and fears them, are a cultural juggernaut with a long, tangled history. Want to unravel this tapestry? Then read the Abridged X-Men!

(X-Men 94 - 96) - by Chris Claremont, Len Wein and Dave Cockrum

You think I won’t automatically be able to include a powerful Storm-moment in every instalment? Watch me. Claremont is a much bigger Storm-fan than I am. (X-Men 96)

So, originally, the plan for the All-New X-Men would’ve been very different: the series would have remained Giant-Sized and it would’ve come out four times per year. This format would have allowed enough room to split focus between thirteen team-members. However, when the Krakoa-issue turned out to be crazily uncannily astonishingly popular, the series became a bi-monthly series. This necessitated some changes, especially in the roster.

Also, there’s this new writer? Chris Claremont? idk man, he seems a little dramatic

The first thing this new kid on the block does, is clean house: he jettisons almost all of the original X-Men, except for Cyclops. In a tear-filled goodbye, we finally get our first on-panel kiss between Jean and Scott. Fucking finally, only took you twelve years, but also: aw.

C’mon Scott, you can try long distance! Consider the benefits, like not having to look at your girlfriend dressing like a Hart-of-Dixie villain. (And don’t think you’re off the hook, Lorna. You look like a Christmas ornament) (X-Men 94)

Sunfire, surprising no-one, also leaves. (For real this time.) I’ve always wondered what the original plan for him would have been, but considering there are two other grumpy and angry rebels on the team (Thunderbird and Wolverine), I understand why Shiro would be a little redundant. It is a shame that it’s a POC that gets discarded, especially considering what happens later.

No time for absent souls, let’s get into the plot! Thunderbird desperately wants to prove himself, while Scott wants him to show some restraint. They butt heads and T-bird gets hurt during training. Despite his injury, he insisting he joins the team on their next mission! Because it’s the Avenging Ex-X-Man Beast who calls for aid.

I love that Beast brushes aside this almost entirely new team of X-Men just as easily as my aunt brushed aside the new boyfriend I brought home for Christmas. (X-Men 94)

As an aside, I’m assuming y’all know what happened to the Beast: in the Avengers, he experimented on himself and turned himself furry and blue. One of his most iconic moments! (And it didn’t even happen in an X-Men comic.)

Count Nefaria has once again allied himself with a team of silly super-villains and invaded the NORAD (North-American Air Command) in order to ransom the entire world with nuclear weapons. When the X-Men approach, Count Nefaria shoots them from the sky and we get one of the hallmarks of Claremont’s writing: the sometimes unnecessarily DRAMATIC CLIFFHANGER! Because the issue ends as the X-Men plummet to their FOR SURE INEVITABLE deaths…

Except, you know, Colossus doesn’t really do falling damage and Storm and Banshee can fly.

Look, realistically, all of them would’ve hit the ground somewhere around Kurt’s second sentence. (X-Men 95)

When everyone is safely down, Nightcrawler teleports inside the base and lets the rest of the X-Men in. Colossus gets to shine by protecting the rest of them from bullets, while Storm washes the hypnotized soldiers away with a quick flood. They fight the Ani-Men but the two X-Men who haven’t had the time to shine… are promptly knocked out.

“Gort wanted to take out that mutant, so Gort just threw the first thing Gort could find.”

“Which was?”

“Another mutant.” (X-Men 95)

Banshee and Thunderbird perform pretty poorly, while the other X-Men try and stop the Doomsday Clock that Nefaria started.

It’s a little confusing how the clock is stopped - somehow, all the fighting and ruckus in the base stopped the clock from going to zero, preventing the launching of the nukes? Seems like a design flaw, US government! Anyway, the Doomsday Clock is not the focus of this story, not really: this is a story about John Proudstar and his desperate need to prove himself. In order to stop Count Nefaria from escaping, the heretofore useless John jumps on his plane and begins tearing at it.

It’s a foolish plan. The plane ascends and begins to smoke while John keeps pulling off bits and pieces. Banshee gives chase, screaming at Thunderbird to get the fuck off that thing (laddie). But…

Just like John, Charles doesn’t recognize a hopeless situation when he’s right in the middle of it and is just as unwilling to let go. (X-Men 95)

Now, John Proudstar is not entirely unproblematic as a character. With Storm, they get things mostly right, especially considering what decade this was and how white Marvel was. Thunderbird, on the other hand, veers dangerously close to becoming a nasty indigenous stereotype, especially considering his outfit and attitude. Claremont will redeem himself in the future by writing much better characters that are Cheyenne and Apache - Forge, Mirage, Warpath - but as it stands now? John is barely a flat character and it’s a shame that, after writing out Sunfire, the first character to die is also a POC.

And yet, despite the fact that this storyline is Claremont’s first X-Men attempt, and despite the fact that it’s uneven, over-dramatic and has a silly villain, it still takes balls to kill a member of a barely established team. (Especially considering the time and age.) And, while the plotting is a bit thin, the moment where Xavier feels Thunderbird die is pretty effective.

The next story is a lot more typically Claremont, and a lot better. Back in Westchester, Emo!Scott, in all his failure-as-a-leader, someone-died-on-my-watch anguish, damages a cairn when he lets loose. Randomly, this is a capstone to some demonic dimension and Scotty accidentally unleashes a demon.

Can´t you imagine this scene being a lot funnier if the yellow panels are just Claremont shouting at Cyclops? Can’t you?! Can’t you?! (X-Men 96)

Meanwhile, Stephen Lang, an anti-mutant army-man, wants to kick off Project Armageddon, which builds on themes established by the Trasks. Michael Rossi, a colonel who gets imported from the Ms. Marvel-lines Claremont was working on before, wants to hear none of this, so Stephen has a little accident arranged.

Back in the mansion, a surprise new addition to the cast arrives!

Maybe housekeeper was one of the identities Moira X had tried out in a previous life, before quickly realizing that being a scientist would better suit her purposes. (X-Men 96)

Her welcome is rudely interrupted by the arrival of the demon!

More like Unholy Hannah, amirite? (X-Men 96)

Both Wolverine and Storm get their chance to shine, before Storm manages to restore the cairn and lock out the demon invasion. And this is where Claremont actually shines. He’s great at building concurrently running storylines, teasing future plots instead of making it a mishmash of X-Men being attacked by random villains. Furthermore, he actually uses action scenes to further the plot or give depth to his characters. Deftly, he introduces Wolverine’s berserker side and teases at Storm’s claustrophobia. Check it out:

Hey, James, I think your barbarian just unlocked the berserker rage feat. (X-Men 96)

Sure, Claremont sometimes makes the X-Men little more than a superhero soap opera, but he does it so well. We’re truly in a new era now. I can’t wait.

For Whom the Death Tolls: Thunderbird. One of the few X-Men for whom death is actually a sort of permanent state. Has he been spotted on Krakoa yet?

What could have been: Imagine X-Men if Sunfire or Thunderbird had taken the place of ‘angry loner’ on the team, instead of Wolverine. Also, I wonder why Claremont never bothered to connect the demons under the cairn to Limbo - the N’Garai are an entirely separate dimension. Maybe Westchester is just a hotbed of demonic activity.

What to read: None of it is truly pivotal, but X-Men 94 and 95 are hallmarks for the death of Thunderbird. X-Men 96 should be on your reading list if you’re a fan of Wolverine and Storm.

#x-men #x-men abridged #abridged x-men #charles xavier #professor x #scott summers #cyclops #ororo munroe #storm #wolverine #james logan howlett #logan #nightcrawler #kurt wagner #colossus #piotr rasputin #thunderbird #john proudstar #chris claremont #len wein #dave cockrum #jean grey #marvel girl #iceman #bobby drake #angel #warren worthington #havok #alex summers #polaris

[the--sad--hatter]

Name Calling (28)

FANDOM - MARVEL MCU

PAIRING - BUCKY X READER (female reader, no physical descriptions)

WARNINGS - ALL OF THEM, SMUT, VIOLENCE ANGST

DESCRIPTION -  In which the ongoing and bloody war of words between you and Bucky turns in your favor when a disgruntled one night stand of his lets slip a secret when you run into her in the elevator… Now you have all the ammunition you need to destroy your enemy but you don’t plan on killing him quickly. Oh no, Bucky Barnes was going to suffer and you were going to enjoy every second. You just didn’t count on how much you would enjoy it.

Current Word Count -  79,652

Chapter Twenty Eight - An Old Friend 

** Italics are memories/flashbacks.**

You had hung up on Tony after his revelation. What were you supposed to say to him? You were too shocked to know how to deal with the information. You had told them to take your memories and lie to you about it? You felt a deep stab of self loathing at your cowardice, having the memories taken away instead of dealing with them. You were rudely snapped out of your thinking by Deadpool repeatedly hitting you on the shoulder.

“It’s happening!” Wade shrieked and started running around like a headless chicken before he hurried to stand next to you and leaned against the wall in the most uncasual attempt at a casual position you had ever seen.

You looked up to watch the crowd of people coming down the hall towards you. The first person you noticed was the white haired woman who walked with the confidence and grace of a queen. The traditionally handsome brunette man next to her had some kind of visor covering his eyes and his hand was linked with a strikingly beautiful red head. In the centre of the crowd was an older bald gentleman in a fancy wheelchair, his eyes held wisdom and his smile was kind.

As they approached it was the fifth member of the group who your attention was focused on though. The imposing wild looking man was making the hairs on the back of your neck shiver and your hackles raised. You had an almost instinctual reaction to him and it wasn’t a good one. Especially when he leant over and took a deep whiff of your hair.

“Did… did you just sniff me?” You asked uncomfortably and shuffled away from him, opting to hide behind Wade.

“Do you want to sniff me?” Wade asked Logan hopefully.

“Logan?” The professor asked.

“I thought she smelled familiar. Smelled a bit like someone I used to know.” Logan explained.

“Interesting. I apologise for Logan Miss Stark, he didn’t mean to startle you. He has an almost uncanny sense of smell and something about your scent appears to have caught his interest.” The Professor apologised.

“So do I but I don’t go around sniffing people. You know why? Because it’s rude.” You reprimanded Logan.

“I’ll try to watch my manners in future Princess.” Logan snarled sarcastically and you knew he would do anything but.

“Miss Stark I am Professor Charles Xavier, I’m glad to finally have the chance to meet you. This is Jean Grey, Scot Summers and Ororo Munroe. Though you may know the former two better as Cyclops and Storm. This of course is Logan, or Wolverine.”

Wade unceremoniously shoved you out of the way so he could take the Professor's hand and shake it enthusiastically.

“I have waited so long for this moment, you don’t even want to know the things I had to do for the author to make it happen.” He said with a shudder.

You rolled your eyes at him and turned to Professor Xavier.  

“It’s nice to meet you Professor. I owe you and the X-Men a long overdue debt of gratitude for the part you all played in taking down the facility I was being held in.”

“Miss Stark are you unaware of how the X-Men came to find the facility?” Storm asked you with a frown.

“Uh, actually I don’t know the exact details.” You admitted.

“I sent them there my darling.” Someone said as he came down the corridor. A very familiar someone.

“We have a new acquisition for you to play with today Vernichtung.” One of the guards taunted you as you were dragged from your cell at gunpoint.

You were shoved unceremoniously into the training room or as the guards called it ‘The Battledome’.

The door on the opposite side of the room opened and a man was dragged in.

“Put this one through his paces little monster, or we will.” A guard said as she shoved him towards you.

There was a clanging sound as the doors were locked from the outside and the man looked up, his eyes locking on you.

“Remy?” You asked, hardly daring to believe it.

He grinned charmingly at you and you sprinted down the hall and threw your arms around him.

“Wait, there was no foreshadowing this! How do you know Gambit?” Wade demanded.

Remy smiled jovially as he embraced you.

“Ah but the lady and I go back a long ways, do we not?” He said.

“I had no idea you survived Remy. You sent the X-Men?”

“I had a debt to repay, let it never be said Remy Lebeau does not pay his debts hmm?”

“Alright Remy Lannister you might have seen her first but I seen her more. As in more of her. I sneaked a peek when we were doing our makeover montage.” Wade said shamelessly.

“I knew it!”

“Ah but Wade, the lady and I are bonded by something that runs far deeper than your mere infatuation.” Remy insisted.

“We have to fight, it will be easier if you just submit.” You told the man.

“Ma cherie, to submit is not in my nature. Though for a woman as sublime as you I could have made an exception if it were not for the circumstances.”

“If you don’t submit, they will find a way to make you. You’ll bend or you’ll break. They don’t care which.”

“Or I will escape, Remy is good at that.”

“Remy? That’s your name?”

“My apologies, I should have introduced myself sooner. Remy Lebeau, at your service.”

“I am sorry Remy.” You said, and you truly were.

But you attacked regardless.

“I am not infatuated!” Wade said indignantly.

“You stole me out of government custody because footage of me killing people gave you a boner.” You deadpanned.

“Sounds like you alright Wade.” Logan huffed.

“I’m glad you finally have the chance to be reunited.” The professor smiled at you and Remy.

“I always thought you had died, or hoped if you weren’t dead you had forgotten about that horrible place.” You said to Remy.

Day after day they pitted you against Remy, making you fight until one or both of you were bleeding.

“Remy could leave, if you would help him.” He whispered to you as he tried to pin your arms.

“There is no escape, not from this place. There is no hope.” You said under your breath.

“Remy simply refuses to believe that. Help him and Remy will show you.”

You could not escape but you were Vernichtung, they would never let you go. If Remy tried they would just kill him but that was a kinder fate than the one that was waiting for him. There was also the very slimmest of chances he would actually get away. Either way, his best chance would be outside of these walls.”

“Take a hit, go down. When the guards come in I will take them out, that will be your only chance.” You told him quietly.

“Remy will take it.”

“He didn’t forget. He told us of the facility, where it was and the mutants being held there.” Professor Xavier informed you.

“Thank you.” You told Remy earnestly.

“You don’t owe the X-Men a thanks for taking it down, if it weren’t for you we might never have known about it.” Storm told you.

You were slightly taken aback. In all the time since you had been away from that place you hadn’t realized you had been partially responsible for your own freedom. All because of one act of kindness for the man stood next to you.

“Perhaps you and I could retire to my study to discuss your impromptu but not unwelcome visit Miss Stark.” The professor suggested.

“Yes, thank you professor. I’ll see you soon Remy, Wade… Behave, at least a little?” You begged.

As you followed the professor you knew Wade wouldn’t listen, but hey at least you’d tried. You were led to a cosy, elegant study and took the proffered seat.

“Do I really need to tell you why I’m here Professor?” You asked.

“Our friend Wade led you to believe I can help you uncover your memories.”

“The way you said that sounds like he was wrong.” You said dejectedly.

“It depends Miss Stark. Miss Maximoff was the one to hide your memories and while I could uncover them it would be easier if she were to do it. However I believe I can assist her to make the process smoother for you. The buried memories contain quite a bit of trauma. Which leads me to ask, are you sure you want to recover them?”

“I’m sure. They’re mine and I need them. What I did isn’t something I can hide from.”

“You can, but you don’t think you deserve to.”

“There’s no hiding anything from you I guess.” You sighed.

“No, there is not unfortunately. I commend you for wanting the memories back though. Hiding from oneself is never a wise plan.”

“So if I can get Wanda here, you’ll help me?” You confirmed.

“I will certainly try but the mind is a complex thing and I make no promises.”

“Trying is more than enough Professor.”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

“So let me be real clear about this, you know where she is but you won’t tell us and you’re not going after her?” Sam clarified with an irritated look.

“Yeah Icarus, I’m giving her space because the alternative is pushing her away.” Tony snapped.

“As long as you’re sure she’s safe man. That girl has a gift for getting in trouble.” Sam sighed.

“You don’t have to tell me. I could handle it if she was trashing sports cars or sleeping her way down the eastern seaboard but she keeps getting in trouble while trying to do the right thing.” Tony bemoaned.

“Wonder where she gets that from?” Sam said sarcastically.

“Are you implying I try to do good? I am offended Wilson, very offended.”

“All I’m saying is we’re lucky she hasn’t created a killer robot yet.”

“Boss, Miss Maximoff wants you to know she has received a call from Professor Charles Xavier asking her to go to his school so she can help him recover Miss Starks lost memories.” Friday announced.

“She’s with the X-Men? I thought you said they couldn’t break her out?” Sam demanded.

“They didn’t. It was someone much, much worse.” Tony admitted with a sigh.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

“WADE!” Someone yelled angrily as you walked down the hallway to find the man in question.

Deadpool came flying out of a doorway and crashed into a wall. You rushed to him in a panic and were horrified to see three puncture wounds on his chest. You whirled round to see Logan standing with three metal claws protruding from his knuckles and you snarled, assuming a protective stance over Wade.

“Back down Princess, he had it coming” Logan snarled back at you.

“He’s ok, look.” Storm urged.

You glanced back at Wade, who was leaning casually in a provocative position on the floor and waving at you.

“Never knew you cared Peaches.” He giggled.

“Healing mutation. Wade is very hard to kill.” Jean told you with a kind smile.

“My mother had the same mutation.” You said with a hint of wonder.

Saying it out loud caused something to click into place in your head and your eyes went wide at the realization.

“I think I know how I survived being shot in the chest. I have multiple mutant strains and they’re all cut off from me, only accessible by Vernichtung. What if healing is one of those mutations? What if it’s the only mutation this isn’t synthetic?” You asked, though you weren’t sure who you were asking.

“Didn’t you blast those aliens without accessing the veiny black eyed demoness?” Wade pointed out.

“It’s not the only mutation you’re accessing.” Logan said gruffly.

“Beg your pardon?” You said.

Instead of answering Logan opted to take an intimidating stance and growl at you. Without thinking you growled back.

“You have animal characteristics. Sensed them the second I walked in.” Logan said.

“Do you exhibit any typically animal like behaviour?” Jean enquired.

You opened your mouth to rebut the accusations but paused. There was a reason Tony called you Kit Kat and Natasha called you Kotonok. Even as far back as the church you would leap through the rafters and prowl about. You were incredibly affectionate with people you cared for and standoffish with those you didn’t. You growled at people when you were displeased and your sense of smell and hearing were a little better than Steve and Bucky’s. It was more than possible Logan was right, it actually made a lot of sense.

“I might have a few things in common with… cats.” You admitted.

“Feline animalistic mutation.”

“Partially repressed, but it’s bleeding through. Hate to break it to you princess, but the damn is starting to leak.” Logan informed you.

And just when you thought the bad news was done. Was this bad news though?

“What does this mean? Is Vernichtung fading or is it getting stronger?” You wondered out loud.

“Don’t ask me, I’m not one of the sciencey types.” Logan huffed and walked away.

“I understand your father wanted to keep you away from the school, understandably. He wanted to keep you away from a testing environment, however maybe you could benefit from spending some time here occasionally.” Jean suggested.

“We could help you figure out the answers to some of your questions and if your mutations are surfacing we could help you learn to control them. You don’t need to make any decisions straight away.” Storm assured you.

“Is nobody going to pay attention to my very sexy posing going on down here?” Wade demanded.

“No”

“No”

“No”

You, Jean and Storm said in unison.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Logan knocked on the door of the professors study and leaned on the doorframe.

“You didn’t tell her.” Logan said.

“That we suspect we know the identity of her biological father? No, I didn’t.” The Professor sighed.

“Think it’s a good idea to keep that from her?”

“After all that poor girl has endured, I think it would be kinder to keep it from her. She has found peace with Tony Stark, telling her anything could just cause her further upset. Perhaps one day she will be ready to hear it. However it is not my decision Logan, it is yours. And you have to be certain before you say anything.”

“She has the mutation and I can smell it on her. I’m sure.” Logan said heavily, sitting down on a chair.

“What are you going to do Logan?”

“I don’t know Chuck.”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Lots of spanners being thrown in this chapter. What are we thinking of them?

The Avengers return in the next chapter... Which means they'll meet the X-men. And Bucky will meet Wade Wilson and Remy... Muhahahahahaha.

I'm still planning a sequel but I'm wondering if this fic will ever end tbh, I think I'll be posting chapters every day for the rest of my life! Probably after, depends on if any of you are good with an Ouija board.

@nerdandproud-86 @harrison-shot-first@chook007@thejourneyneverendsx@thelostallycat@inquisitor-selvala@the-corruptor @iovher@kendrawr-kitkat@phoenix-whiskey-tears @the–real-wombat@buckitybarnes@fairislesheets@angieptt@meganjonezzzz

@dugan365 @fluffeh-kitty@memanda17@krystallynx@theonelittleone

@piscesbarnes @free-as-fishes@tarastudiesalot@captainamericasbeard

@dropthepizza346

#Bucky Barnes #Bucky x Reader #bucky x oc #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x original character #stark reader #dad tony stark #parent tony stark #bucky smut #smut #fluff #angst #tony stark x reader #clint barton x reader #natasha x reader #black widow x reader #hawkeye x reader #wanda x reader #steve rogers x reader #steve x reader #avengers x reader #Platonic Avengers #x men x reader #deadpool x reader #wade wilson x reader #sam wilson x reader #falcon x reader #captain america #the winter soldier #winter soldier x reader

[ty-talks-comics]

Best of Marvel: Week of September 18th, 2019

Best of this Week: House of X #5 - Jonathan Hickman, Pepe Larraz, Marte Gracia and Clayton Cowles

The X-Men have conquered their greatest enemy: Death.

After the events of the last issue, it was a wonder just how Hickman would write the X-Men out of the predicament that has stopped them so many times before. In the standard Hickman way, he made retcons that enhanced the usefulness of lesser characters and provided a way out that not only makes sense, but can be used for just about anything in regards to all of our favorite dead mutants.

Goldballs had one of the dumbest powers for the longest time; the ability to propel golden balls from his chest, but in this book we learn that these balls were actually non-viable eggs that, with the help of Proteus, could be made usable. After they’re injected with mutant DNA and given life by Elixir, Tempus ages the eggs to maturity and thanks to Hope’s powers, all of them operate at peak efficiency. This allows the mutants to effectively resurrect their dead friends as husks until Xavier implants mind engrams into the bodies with their past memories.

In House of X #1, one of the first things we see is Charles Xavier meeting the reborn forms of Scott Summers and Jean Grey as full adults after they emerge from egg sacs of some kind. Initially, I thought that this was just some sort of strange symbolic rebirth thing and while it still is, it has become far more literal and intriguing because of five mutants - Goldballs, Elixir, Hope Summers, Proteus and Tempus.

Everything about this scene was immaculate and well done to a point where I almost want to cry. What coloring there was felt low and hushed, almost as if we were seeing something miraculous, the gift of light. Camera angles were mostly downwards, to capture the harmony of the group before they began their work. They stood silent and acted on instinct, indicating they'd done this before, showing us that they were absolutely sure of their process. 

Xavier leaning down, cradling his children and asking them to not die again as it kills a part of him every time that they do is heart wrenching, but joyous when he gives them their memories back. There's no hesitation, only love, only care. 

The gravity of the event as it happens and seeing someone like Goldballs become one of the most integral mutants in the revival of the mutant race brought me to an unknown level of joy. There was so much weight to their actions with the excellent narration by Magneto as to what exactly they were doing while talking to Polaris, making the point that when they are apart, they are still strong mutants, but together they are even more powerful than previously imagined. 

I’m almost certain they used the exact same pages from House of X #1 as we watch the resurrection of the dead team, but this time we have a whole new perspective of how we got there. In an absolutely beautiful celebration of life, we see the mutants of Krakoa praise the Five for bringing their mutant family back to life and a confirmation of those mutants by Storm. Under the purple leaves of a tree of Krakoa with a bit of sunlight shining through. Purple usually symbolizes nobility, passion and authenticity and with the use of dynamic angles and heroic posing, we can be absolutely sure that these are the same mutants.

Angel, Husk, Mystique, Monet, Wolverine, Nightcrawler, Cyclops and Jean Grey all died to ensure that the Mother Mold didn’t come online and destroy the mutant race. In two nine panel grids, Storm greets hew newly reborn friends, questioning how she knows that it’s truly them. After they give their answers from the somber to the cocky to the… Monet, Storm asks what they are and the crowd answers with one word: Mutant. 

This message also acts as a bit of foreshadowing for the end of the book and as the theme for this issue as a whole; the idea of togetherness, something that the human race has denied mutants for all of their existence. 

The level of solidarity among the mutants is inspiring, the love and pride they have in themselves in infections and makes me want to see them do nothing but succeed. However, I do have something of a concern with the level of reverence they seem to be getting. As they walk naked down the stairs to interact with their fellow mutants, the other mutants reach their hands out at them as the sun shines brightly behind them. They seem as saviors, messiahs, people standing above their fellows and that’s a potentially dangerous path for them to go down, especially since Krakoa is performing so well and don’t need egos to ruin it.

On top of their resurrections, Xavier and Emma Frost are also trying to get the world's governments to accept Krakoa's pharmaceuticals and accept the Mutant Utopia as an independent nation. With a few notable exceptions from Russia, Latveria and Wakanda (among a few other countries that also would not accept Mutants or their cure alls) most of the world is very into the prospect of life giving drugs in exchange for giving mutants diplomatic immunity and recognition.

In many ways, this is the progress that they have always strived for. Some people aren't reticent to their acts of kindness out of ideological differences, but others see the benefit of siding with the new Nation as long as they can see the benefits. They may be alliances of necessity or fear, but the point still stands that their autonomy is being recognized. They're not being actively hunted, at least since Orchis was stopped from activating the Mother Mold and with their population in the cusp of becoming what it was in the past, they are flourishing and don't NEED human support, but they find it better that they receive it.

With the world coming together for mutants, there's only one more group left to truly unite the houses: The Villains. In my opinion, most of House of X has been leading up to this, the day when even mutant villains will come in full support of Xavier's new mission to save the race and there are some nasty ones here: Mister Sinister, Lady Mastermind, Mesmero, Selene, Sebastian Shaw, Emplate, Exodus, Gorgon, Black Tom Cassidy and Azazel.

But these villains pale in comparison to the final arrival in Apocalypse. In more than one way, Apocalypse's dream has finally come to fruition as well. Mutants have risen above and finally become the dominant species that he always believed they could be. They have evolved past their petty and weak natures and embraced their strength in both numbers and power. With Krakoa welcoming him with some lovely birds, Apocalypse speaks on behalf of all of the evil mutants when he says that they will obey the laws of Krakoa as they are written and cements this new alliance with a handshake with Charles Xavier.

This blew my mind. Apocalypse's whole deal was that he would absolutely destroy the weakness in the mutant gene pool and was only able to do so with Charles Xavier dead in the Age of Apocalypse timeline. He tore the world asunder, but as we learned from one of Moira MacTaggert's past lives, even this would not have lasted. If Moira's been in contact with Apocalypse, then he too knows that following Xavier right now is the only true path to mutant evolution and supremacy.

I have never been so elated, surprised and anticipating of a comic in so long. 

Pepe Larraz and Marte Gracia are a match made in heaven and this book has a cinematic quality through and through. Larraz allows the characters to appear overjoyed, happy and proud with beautiful facial expressions. With faraway shots and ever changing angles in the panels, there's such a grandeur in the story being told. The sun is always shining in this particular issue, much like it was in House of X #1, signaling a brand new day and bright future for mutantkind.

Gracia's colors are bright and vibrant, emanating with a hopeful glow. Their lighting effects are on JJ Abrams levels of shiny and somehow The Five characters stand out apart from the clothes that they used to wear. Tempus' blue pops out perfectly against Goldballs gold and black. The purple of the tree leaves in the Confirmation is absolutely beautiful and awe-inspiring and the darkness during Apocalypse's arrival set against the shining God rays is the perfect contrast.

I have never been more proud to be a fan of the X-Men. Knowing their history of death and rebirth, it's relieving to see that they now have the means to finally conquer their mortal enemy. There's so many that can be brought back to life (provided their deaths haven't already been retconned). John Proudstar, the original Thunderbird, Jamie Madrox, Negasonic Teenage Warhead, Sean Cassidy, Blindfold and many others that either died so long ago or died at the hands of Matthew Rosenberg's Uncanny X-Men.

House of X has gone above and beyond and rejuvenated a portion of the Marvel Universe that has been a chaotic mess for the better part of almost 20 years by this point. There's finally unity amongst all of the mutants in the Universe, from 90s villains to even recent ones from Brian Michael Bendis' run. 

Jonathan Hickman is proving that almost anything he touches turns to gold as he's crafted an amazing tale in only nine issues, counting Powers of X as well. I find myself, for the first time in a long time, not just going through the motions. I feel as though I'm witnessing a revolution occurring, an actual brand new era for some of my favorite super people. 

The series is set to conclude in about three weeks for X-Men #1 and I am already so very excited. Highest of recommends.

What are we? Mutants.

#marvel #marvel comics #house of x #charles xavier #apocalypse #goldballs #magneto #storm #jean grey #monet #cyclops #jonathan hickman #pepe larraz #marte gracia #xmen #x men

[equivvitch]

Fassathon: A Summary (Part I)

So, this summer, in the year of Our Lord 2017, I decided to do something stupid and unnecessary, as I do, by watching every single theatrically-released movie Michael Fassbender has been in thus far. Every single one. I dubbed it the Fassathon and didn’t rest until I was finished. (I know a lot of his early career was in television and in television movies (trust me I know the only thing I have to type in my search bar is “im” and his IMDb page pops up automatically) and given more time I’ll probably watch some of those but for the sake of not having to watch like seven more movies I granted myself that leniency.)

All in all, I’d say it took about two months. In total I believe I watched 24 movies, having already watched five beforehand (the new X-Men trilogy, Shame, and Jane Eyre) for a grand total of 29 damn movies (full disclosure, one was a bonus which you’ll see eventually but whatever). Some of them were actually ones I needed/wanted to watch but a lot were….not.

In any case, for the sake of posterity and making myself feel better about being a dumbass, I decided to write up some kind of summary piece about it, so that’s what this is. It got fuckign long so it’s gonna be divided into three parts: two just reviewing the movies and one with some summary thoughts.

This is part one, but first, it wouldn’t be a post by me without eighty disclaimers so let’s get that out of the way first:

This is all subjective obviously. Keep in mind I had to watch all of these so a lot of times I tended to compare them more to themselves than films as a whole. I tried to see the big picture after the fact but when you have 28 films to watch you tend to get hyper-focused on the task at hand. Also I’m not a film critic. I’m just an asshole and a dumbass, a dumb asshole if you will. I am interested in film theory but that means about jack since I have no formal education in it.

It should also be noted that a) Fassbender’s performances in these movies were almost uniformly excellent. The man can carry a movie on his goddamn back and often does if required to do so. This was noted consistently to the point of it being funny in the reviews of each movie. b) A lot of these are British movies. They’re not Hollywood. Just…..pointing it out. And c) I’m 1000% attached to some of these films/franchises outside of this “challenge.” X-Men in particular and also Jane Eyre I’m invested in deeply so that might affect my ideas.

That out of the way, without further ado, some reviews, thoughts, and recommendations:

X-Men: First Class (Erik Lehnsherr)

Rating: 8/10

Quick Summary: At the height of the Cold War, Charles Xavier and Erik Lehnsherr meet under unlikely circumstances and form an even more unlikely bond. They end up with a common goal in defeating a ghost of Erik’s past, Sebastian Shaw, who is determined to cause nuclear war between the U.S. and Soviet Union in hopes of destroying all humans and making way for mutant rule. The two set out and put together a team of mutants to help combat him, but push their relationship in the process to an unfortunate breaking point.

Some Thoughts: I have watched First Class so many times you have no idea. Understand, I once did a full rewatch of this movie for the sole purpose of fact-checking a post that was talking about how many times Charles says “Erik” throughout the movie. I sat there and tallied them by rewatching the entire thing. I love this movie to pieces, so I really have no ability to objective over it. Because of that I do know its flaws pretty well, trust me. It has issues (coughs about the ridiculous awful romantic subplots), but I really do think it’s a strong film and an interesting start to this quasi-reboot. Ultimately it’s a movie about the relationship between Erik and Charles, so that is its strongest point. There are some big shoes to fill, considering Sirs Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellan had the roles first, but McAvoy and Fassbender do a great job with it. It was stated in interviews that McAvoy was cast first and then they made the guys going out for the role of Erik read with him to cast a chemistry instead of a person and it shows. It really is shot like a love story, especially when the B-plot is an explicit romance between Hank and Raven. In my opinion it’s a fun ride, watching everyone meet and use their powers, train together and learn together. The ending is not that happy and I always shake hands with movies that dare to do that, especially big films like this (see GotG 2). It can be silly and frustrating at times, but after Last Stand I feel like we could only go up. I know some people really don’t like this movie which? I guess I’d like to hear from someone who doesn’t to understand why. That being said, Armando deserved better. Fuck his nonsensical death.

Warnings: Montages? Also some violence. Not a ton but what’s there sticks in your head.

Recommend?: Yeah! If you like superhero movies this is a pretty solid one.

X-Men: Days of Future Past (Erik, but this time in the 70s, and with less turtlenecks and more scarves)

Rating: 9/10

Quick Summary: (This plot is so convoluted I’m going to have to be vague otherwise this could take years.) In an apocalyptic future these robots called Sentinels are murdering everyone, particularly mutants because at one point a guy named Dr. Trask got ahold of Mystique’s DNA and used it to make them indestructible. The always wonderful and patient Logan gets sent back to the past to try and stop this from happening. There he finds Charles in a terrible, drug-induced spiral having lost everything and has to attempt to get him out of it so he can help find Raven who’s gone rogue and wants to kill Trask for his experimentation on mutants. In the process they join up with Erik, courtesy of Peter/Quicksilver, which doesn’t go well, which no one could have ever seen coming. The whole thing comes to a head when Raven has to decide whether to become a murderer and risk an even darker future or let Trask walk free and go against what she believes in.

Some Thoughts: I remember so clearly sitting the theatre and seeing the first preview for this, turning to my family and joking about the really stupid title. Like “Days of Future Past? What kind of title is that?” It’s up there with Back to the Future in terms of dumb titles, but is somehow pretty much acknowledged as the best of the current three, alternate timeline movies?? In spite of its ridiculously convoluted plot, it’s a really solid film and has great character development for two of the big players, Charles and Raven. Wolverine acts as a familiar foundation and point of view for the story and grounds it as he often does. Charles has to learn to stop trying to control those around him and move on with his life despite past losses, and Raven has to make a pivotal choice for her character. The scene at the end where it’s flipping between the future and past and all the original cast and the new cast are fighting at the same time is really cool, and the character arcs are strong and satisfying. The only one who doesn’t change much is Erik, but arguably First Class was his platform for character development or, more accurately, regression. He doesn’t do anything that helpful (which is….true to form) but watching him lift an entire fucking baseball stadium, fly it through the air, and drop it on top of the White House is pretty rad. Also Quicksilver is incredible holy shit the way they do his scenes is iconic. Kind of confusing maybe, but it also retconned almost the entirety of the original timeline in a genius move to destroy Last Stand once and for all. It’s usually called the best for a reason.

Warnings: Wolverine gets stabbed by stuff and shot a lot but that’s par for the course

Recommend?: Yep! But you might want to have watched some of the other movies first. Watching it with no background would probably be….too much.

X-Men: Apocalypse (Still Erik/Polish(?) Lumberjack/Poster child for Man Pain™)

Rating: 5/10

Quick Summary: An ancient mutant named Apocalypse (or En Sabah Nur if we’re going to be technical) awakens in the midst of the 80s (because there must be a 10 year gap between each movie it’s a rule). He used to rule but now he doesn’t and he’s mad so now he wants to destroy the world or some shit and rebuild it in his image. He does this by getting together his four horsemen (get it) including Erik who is inexplicably in Poland with yet another family that gets fridged. The X-Men find this out and get together to take him down.

Some Thoughts: I can (and have) ranted about this movie for literal hours. I have some serious personal gripes with it and it annoys me to the point where I’ve blown it out of proportion so keep that in mind. That rating might be a bit low but this movie is mediocre at best. I guess the core of it is because the X-Men conflict is a lot more interesting when they’re up against some government entity or society as a whole rather than just some random villain, at least to me. This movie also does not have a strong foundation like the first two did, no solid grounding point. In XMFC it was Erik and Charles’s relationship, in DoFP it was Wolverine being the POV character, but in this we really have nothing. The stuff with the kids is probably the most interesting and I hope they do more of that in the upcoming sequel. It has a few good moments (Quicksilver’s scene and Erik dramatically throwing down giant steel beams in the shape of an “X” in front of Apocalypse as he switches sides to save Charles and co stick out in my mind) but it tends to drag otherwise. There are about twenty plots going on and it takes forever for them all to connect. The romantic subplot crap is a pain in the ass and dragging Moira back was particularly idiotic when you realize they once again gave her nothing to do in the final act except overlook Charles completely violating her personhood in the first movie by wiping her mind without consent so she can get back together with him. The shit with Erik’s Poland family is stupid even if it’s done well. Magneto of all fucking people does not need more man pain for god’s sake. Lawrence is so checked out she really might as well be a phone recording as Lindsay Ellis points out in her Loose Canon series on YouTube. The only one who really had any interesting development was Storm and I hope they keep on with her because she’s a really good character. There’s just not much there for me, or what is there isn’t of any value. I really hope the next one is better. (Probably a far-fetched hope but a girl can dream.)

Warnings: Lazy writing (and comic-book-movie-typical violence)

Recommend?: I mean you probably want to watch if you’re watching the series. It’s not the worst X-Men movie. I’m probably a little harsh on it. There are the Wolverine sequels. Still, if you’re not that invested, it’s probably not worth it.

Jane Eyre (Rochester)

Rating: 11/10 10/10

Quick Summary: Jane Eyre has lived a fairly unfortunate life, having been put under watch of her cruel aunt after her parents’ deaths and consequently sent to a boarding school that beats its pupils into submission, but remains strong in spite of this. She finds herself a new job as a governess at Thornfield Hall and soon meets its master, Edward Fairfax Rochester. The two begin to talk and form an interesting relationship in spite of their large age difference. Jane begins to fall for her employer, overlooking his rough exterior to the person underneath. Rochester reciprocates, but all is not well. Jane discovers her lover is hiding a dark secret and must decide whether to be true to her love for him or to herself.

Some Thoughts: I WOULD DIE FOR JANE EYRE TBH THE DAY NETFLIX TOOK IT OFF WAS A TRAVESTY. Really, though it’s such a good movie and very loyal to the book. It’s a period piece, but it’s very different from something like Pride and Prejudice, a lot because Jane is such an interesting character. I love her and Mia Wasikowska does a great job. Rochester is a bitch, but…..he’s a bitch with a good heart. Realistically he’s supposed to be kind of….not good looking? So casting Fassbender might have been counterproductive, but it does mean he has to compensate for his incredibly square jawline which can’t be hidden behind that shit sideburn beard with his acting, which he does very well. His charisma kind of helps to smooth over the fact that Rochester can be standoffish to viewers that aren’t prepared for him. He is no Mr. Darcy. The chemistry between the two is great and the story is really enthralling. The music is gorgeous and the ending is satisfying. Well-shot, well-paced, loyal to the original, just a great adaptation all together. It’s not a happy movie, but it has a happy ending. I really have nothing but good things to say about it. Please give it a chance if you’re even a bit interested.

Warnings: You might cry/a little blood

Recommend?: Yes!

Shame (Brandon)

Rating: 10/10

(Quick note: if you’re like “wow you sure aren’t harsh on these movies” listen this was back when I was actually choosing the ones I wanted to watch….so yeah….these are mostly good ones at first. There are definitely some bads on here….don’t you worry…)

Quick Summary: Without giving away everything: Brandon is a pretty normal man struggling with a sex addiction which he basically refuses to acknowledge at the beginning of the movie. His lifestyle is disrupted when his younger sister Sissy comes to stay at his apartment without asking him first. The rest of the film is about their complicated and mildly toxic relationship and Brandon dealing (and not dealing) with his addiction with mixed results.

Some Thoughts: This is one of those movies like Brokeback Mountain that just kind of….sticks on you. I felt that way about Silence of the Lambs too where you watch it and then you can’t really forget about it. Fassbender has worked with Steve McQueen who directed this film three times, this being the second, and they make a great pair. McQueen loves him some long takes and he does them well. His style of directing is unflinching to the point of it being uncomfortable which works well for the type of stories he likes to tell. It’s a very quiet movie, not much dialogue, but it really hits home. This really is one of Fassbender’s best of performances in my opinion. He can do a lot with just his expressions and it really shows here. The dynamic between him and Carey Mulligan who plays Sissy is really poignant. I probably could never do it justice with words alone. It’s difficult to watch, but worth it. It’s one of those movies where the protagonist doesn’t really grow, pointed out very blatantly here. True development hasn’t taken place, at least not yet. Whether or not you think it actually will after this is left up to how optimistic you are for the characters and the story.

Warnings: This is rated NC-17 for a reason. They do not shy away from anything and they do not cut you a break by easing into it. Translation: if you’re disinterested in becoming familiar with some very particular bits of Fassy’s anatomy I’d steer clear. Also strong warning for themes (and fairly graphic depictions) of self-harm.

Recommend?: I would never tell someone to watch this movie, but I would definitely advocate for it. Read the description (that a professional has written, not just mine fff), check the warnings, see if you’re up for it. This is one you need to choose to watch, not be forced to.

Macbeth (Macbeth)

Rating: 6/10

Quick Summary: Oh god, I still don’t remember the plot of this thing…. I swear I read it once but you’d be better off reading the Spark Notes or something. It’s based on the Shakespeare play (obviously) where this dude named Macbeth and his wife Lady Macbeth go around killing people to gain power because some weird ladies in the middle of a field told him he’d be king. Everyone fucking dies at the end per usual due to really ridiculous loopholes. A grand old time, as always, with Mr. ‘speare.

Some Thoughts: Listen pal I got food poisoning trying to watch this damn movie THE CURSE OF THE SCOTTISH PLAY IS REAL. But really, it’s kind of what you’d expect? All of this is coming from me, an idiot, who doesn’t remember the play super well and is shit at Shakespeare, so bear that in mind, but?? It stuck to the original pretty well. It’s played dead-ass straight, so know that right now. There is no humor in this movie ever; it’s completely serious. Also impossible to understand because it’s Shakespearean English in Scottish accents. You’d be better off with a background knowledge of the play I think. That said, the visuals in this movie are absolutely gorgeous holy shit. The ending fight scene is incredible. That alone made it worth the watch for me at least. Marion Cotillard who plays Lady Macbeth is amazing as well. What a great performance. It’s a solid film. You need to accept its no-nonsense attitude to get into it, but otherwise it’s fine.

Warnings: It gets pretty bloody, but not overly so.

Recommend?: Not really, unless you really like the play or have a good knowledge of it already. It’s beautiful, but a little too serious for the casual viewer. I assume that’s why its reviews are kind of mixed.

Prometheus (David)

Rating: 6.5/10

Quick Summary: Two scientists discover a series of ancient drawings, all of which are very similar despite appearing hundreds of years and thousands of miles apart. They believe this might be a clue as to how the human race came to be, a path to our creators. They set out on the Prometheus to investigate a planet they believe to be the origin of these so called “engineers.” Things go awry as one might expect when they find the planet is already inhabited, but not by any “engineers.” Moreover, several crewmembers have secret motivations of their own for coming along which doesn’t really turn out well for anyone.

Some Thoughts: I feel like a lot of people don’t like Prometheus because it’s a think-y movie. It’s not really an action-packed thriller like other movies in the Alien franchise. This was the first in the franchise I’d ever seen so I didn’t really go in with those kind of expectations which I think was to my benefit. If you go in looking for answers you’re probably going to not like it, but I just sort of went to have a good time and pretty much did. Noomi Rapace as Elizabeth Shaw is really great. I really enjoyed her as the main character. There are some really good actors in this movie and I think they do a good job. I loved Idris Elba’s character a lot for example. It’s a beautiful film as well. Fassbender plays David, the resident android of the ship. It was interesting to watch him play a robot because he is, to me, a very emotive actor and this had to be more restrained. I don’t remember the movie super well which probably speaks to it just being an average sort of film. It’s not great, but it’s not as bad as some people seemed to think it was. Just go along for the ride and it can be a good popcorn flick.

Warnings: There’s one really graphic surgery scene that was hard to watch, but otherwise it’s (compared to the other Alien film on this list) not too bad. It really is more introspective than bloody. Also, maybe obviously, there are aliens in this movie.

Recommend?: If you’re into sci-fi thought-pieces, sure. Just don’t go in expecting a masterpiece.

Alien: Covenant (Walter and David, yes both)

Rating: (completely subjective) 8/10

Quick Summary: A group of forgettable, idiot crewmembers who are all inexplicably married for no reason other than a desperate bid to get you to care about them in any way (you won’t. trust me. they’re so stupid you’ll probably rooting against them eventually) are piloting a ship called the Covenant with 2000-some passengers and a lot of embryos on a colonizing mission. Along the way they intercept a strange transmission coming from another habitable planet they hadn’t noticed before which is much closer and decide to investigate. Once there things take a turn for the worst. After several deaths and the completely avoidable destruction of their ship, they run into David who’s been living alone on the planet for ten years after the Prometheus crashed there. They soon learn that they would have been better off braving the planet and waiting for rescue alone.

Some Thoughts: Listen I went into this movie completely expecting it to be horrible. This really was the one that started it all, where I decided I’d watch all of them. I wasn’t going to watch it because it looked ridiculous, but then it was available to rent and I was curious. In all honesty, I really only went in to see with my own eyes how and why the actual hell Fassbender was playing two characters which at some point kiss, so that was part of it. Ultimately I ended up really liking it. Now mind you, this is not a good movie. It’s not. The cast is forgettable and stupid to the point where you just want them to die already and get it over with. The only person I even slightly cared about was Daniels, the main crewmember character you follow. People die without any pomp and the movie is riddled with clichés. That said, it is a lot more like what I expect an Alien movie usually is. There’s a lot more fighting of aliens and a lot more blood. So what’s with the rating? Really it’s completely subjective, but if you know me and watch this movie you’ll probably understand. Let’s just say I have a very specific type of character I tend to like and this movie delivers.

Fassbender carries this gotdamn movie on his back half the time and somehow pulls off the ridiculous scenario of him being the two different robots. The interactions between Walter and David really were some of the more interesting parts of the film for me, completely ridiculous as they are (“I’ll do the fingering”). If you can just suspend your disbelief and go with it I insist that it can be a good time. My favor of the movie really comes from my opinion of David and I think that’s what will make or break the movie for you. It was a ballsy choice of protagonist, and when you realize that I think the forgettable main crew is a little more justifiable. Big kudos for the ending as well, at least from me. It ended exactly the way I wanted it to, and I ended up being invested in who I needed to be invested in. It’s a stupid movie, but I do think you can have fun watching it if you’re in it for the right stuff (namely the fassbots).

(Also, people are not happy about the fuck-million more Alien movies in the works but hear me out…. I have a great pitch idea….what if with every new movie we just double the number of Fassbenders…… so there’s four and then eight and then sixteen all the way until we just have infinite Fassbenders….. listen this is a great plan Mr. Scott please hire me as script consultant from now on)

Warnings: This is a lot more of a horror movie than Prometheus. It’s bloody and violent, and yes there are more aliens. Also it is really stupid. Also warnings for that sweet, sweet ‘bot-on-‘bot action ;)

Recommend?: I mean….not really. Again my opinion is so subjective here that it’s worth a grain of salt. If you do, you need to watch Prometheus first because you need to form an opinion of David.

Hunger (Bobby Sands)

Rating: 5/10

Quick Summary: Without me sitting here for like a half hour looking up a lot of proper names and dates (which I’ve already done once when I was watching the damn thing), this a movie about a hunger strike led by a man named Bobby Sands. It takes place in a prison in Northern Ireland. A group of people called the Republicans who are fighting against being part of Britain and want one united Ireland are being arrested for political acts and are protesting in any way they can. This begins with bathing and clothing strikes, and eventually leads to a hunger strike when this accomplishes nothing.

Some Thoughts: So this is a critically-acclaimed movie and I know people really like it. I guess I can see why but compared to McQueen’s other films I didn’t think it was super impressive. It’s his first project with Fassbender and in a lot of ways it feels like an early-career film. It has a lot of pacing issues. I read reviews saying it’s two movies in one and it really is. As an American (and therefore a dumbass when it comes to conflicts in other countries because our history classes here are Shit) it was sort of a confusing movie to watch just because I didn’t really have any background knowledge about what was happening. I was doing a lot of googling throughout to catch myself up with the conflict and acronyms etc. It’d definitely strike more of a chord with someone who knew about it beforehand. It is a prison movie and it’s difficult to watch because of that. There’s a lot of mistreatment of prisoners and just kind of gross stuff in general. I was whining at one point about the hunger strike not starting until like…20 minutes before the movie ends but I see now why it didn’t because you’re basically just watching Fassbender starve to death from that point on and it’s Not Fun. There are impressive parts of it. There’s a long take of a conversation between Bobby and a priest where he explains his idea of starting a hunger strikes that is, I shit you know, seventeen fucking minutes long. It’s crazy. There are other long takes in the film but they’re not always used super effectively. This can cause the movie to drag at times. The use of sound in the movie is also really amazing. It’s very quiet usually, but picks its loud moments and picks them well. Overall I didn’t get much out of watching it, but that’s just me. I didn’t think it was worth the difficult watch.

Warnings: It’s unrated but I bet it would be R or even NC-17 if it was. Lots of disturbing shots of violence against prisoners and behaviors of the prisoners themselves tbh. There’s nudity as well, but it’s used as humiliation mostly. As usual, McQueen’s style of filmmaking is unflinching and watching someone starve to death isn’t fun.

Recommend?: Not really. McQueen has better films you could watch. Unless you’re personally interested in the conflict at hand, I’d skip it.

Frank (Frank)

Rating: 10/10

Quick Summary: An untalented aspiring musician named Jon suddenly stumbles across the opportunity of a lifetime to play in actual band when they find themselves out a keyboard player the day before a performance. Jon lends them a hand and is accepted into the group in spite of some friction with most of the members. They invite him back on what ends up being year-long trip into the woods to write a new album. While living with the band, the Soronprfbs, Jon gets to know the members better, as well as their many quirks. Notably, there is Don, the manager who seems level-headed if somewhat depressed, Clara, who doesn’t take Jon’s being there very well, and Frank, the apparent leader of the band. Jon takes a special interest in Frank who appears to be the heart and soul of the group. In spite of wearing a giant fake head at all times, he’s very friendly, encouraging, and strangely inspiring. As they work to write their album, Jon begins to record and post their progress on social media, gaining them a new following of people amused by their bizarre antics. This new popularity ends up landing them a bigger gig than they’ve ever had before, but comes at the cost of risking the band’s identity and solidarity.

Some Thoughts: Frank is an amazing movie. If someone wasn���t interested in Jane Eyre but wanted a Fassbender rec, I would 100% give this one. I love this movie to pieces and I’m so glad I watched it because I was initially on the fence with it. In fact, I liked it so much I watched it twice within my rental period, and have now purchased it. If you’re looking for something close to a comedy on this list, this is it. I kind of describe it as if Wes Anderson directed Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, threw in a strong lesson about mental illness, and bumped up the rating a bit. This movie is hilarious and wonderful and poignant. The message is a really good one and one I don’t think we hear a lot. It’s a good commentary on the relationship between art and mental illness, and it’s done respectfully for the most part. Fassbender as Frank is kind of incredible. You don’t see his face for the majority of the film, but he still gives an amazing performance. I think it shows how talented he is as an actor that he pulls this part off so well. You’re intrigued as much as Jon is by him, or at least I was. The humor is a little out there and some of the themes may be off-putting, but I really do think this is one to see. Maggie Gyllenhaal as Clara is fantastic as well. It’s a difficult part but she pulls it off so wonderfully. Domhnall Gleeson as Jon gives a decent grounding point of view character as well. It’s funny and touching and goddammit maybe someday I’ll watch one of these movies without crying but that ending hit me right in the heart.

Warnings: Themes of self-harm and mental illness are present. They’re not played as a joke, but they’re there.

Recommend?: Yes please watch this movie I beg of you it deserves all the praise

Fish Tank (Connor)

Rating: 5/10

Quick Summary: The movie is a coming-of-age story of sorts for the protagonist Mia. Mia has a difficult home life with a neglectful and often abusive mother as well as a penchant for causing trouble. Having been kicked out of school she is directionless which only furthers her spiral downward. Her only true passion is dancing, but she prefers to do this privately. One day she meets her mother’s latest fling, Connor. Unlike the others, however, Connor seems there to stay. Mia begins to interact with Connor and the two form a relationship. Connor is kind to both her and her younger sister, treating them with respect and parental affection they do not receive otherwise. Connor encourages Mia’s hobby and leads her to begin searching for a career in dancing, helping to turn her life around. Things take a turn when Mia and Connor overstep a boundary in their relationship and this leads to Mia discovering that Connor was not what she thought he was.

Some Thoughts: I’m very…ambivalent about this movie, so I don’t probably have a lot interesting to say about it. It seems to me that Fish Tank is a part of a very particular genre of movie about a specific part of the British lower class, making it difficult to relate to for someone who hasn’t experienced that way of life. I watched another movie called Beautiful Thing a long time ago that was part of this genre as well, and that’s what Fish Tank reminded me of more than anything else. It seems to be characterized by poor, crowded living conditions and abusive family dynamics more than anything else. The characters struggle to get by and are generally mean-spirited to everyone they encounter automatically. It can make for a bitter watching experience, even if it is realistic. Mia is a somewhat believable teenager. Since this is a British movie about hip-hop dancing however and the actress playing Mia has…little to no actual dancing skill, any parts of the movie that have to do with this dancing can be embarrassing to watch. You really have to accept that it’s stupid and move past it to watch the thing.

The relationship between Mia and Connor is…troubling which I’m sure it’s supposed to be but it’s never resolved. Some of the scenes in the movie are disturbing as some in Hunger. One of my biggest issues with the movie was there really seemed to be a conversation missing. The end of the film felt like it was lacking a crucial interaction between the two and it made the ending fall pretty flat, at least for me. I know people like this movie and it’s award-winning but I couldn’t relate to it in any meaningful way. It left me feeling conflicted more than anything else. I have no strong or final opinion on this movie. I do respect that it had a female director, but I feel as though I very clearly wasn’t its intended audience, so its impact on me was minor at best and non-existent at worst. There are some nice cheesecake shots in it of Fassbender I guess. I think it still wins for best ass shot afdjks;lj

Warnings: Some disturbing character behavior, especially from Mia. Abusive family dynamics and physical child abuse are also present. Also statutory r*pe. Also some really embarrassing excuses for hip-hop dancing and general cultural appropriation shit that comes from a British movie about hip-hop.

Recommend?: You can try it, but I wouldn’t advocate for it. There are better artsy films to watch unless you’re actually in the target demographic and think you might like this sort of movie.

Inglourious Basterds (Lt. Archie Hicox)

Rating: 7/10

Quick Summary: When she was young, Shosanna’s family was murdered by Nazis hunting down Jewish families who had escaped to France. Now, as a young woman, she finds herself with the opportunity to get revenge. Meanwhile, Lt. Aldo Raine has formed a group of rogue Nazi-hunters called the Basterds, infamous throughout Germany for their lack of restraint and ability to avoid capture. His team is hired by the Allies to help with a plot to hopefully take out all the big political figures in the Nazi party, including Hitler himself, in one fell swoop. It just so happens these two plans are meant to take place in the same place, on the same night.

Some Thoughts: This is the first Tarantino movie I’ve ever seen and I do think it was good for me to at least see one. I was glad to see the movie itself too, actually. It was one on here I just needed to watch outside of this thing. I enjoyed it for all it reveled (as expected) in gore occasionally. I really loved Shosanna. Mélanie Laurent did an excellent job with her and she was easily the best part of the film for me, though I did enjoy Brad Pitt’s shenanigans as Aldo. Fassbender has kind of a bit part in this one which was a little different, since he tends to steal the spotlight otherwise. It really wasn’t my favorite performance of his. It was a little unfocused, though that might be because his character is just a plot device. Kind of a shame but in true X-Men fashion all he did was show-up, fuck things up, and then make his exit. Ah well. It’s well-shot and a good time, if a little long. The blood was there, but not excessive. Maybe a good choice if you, like me, wanted to see one of these movies, but were a little nervous about the violence.

Warnings: Typical Tarantino violence, I presume. Really, it’s just a few focused shots of it, but there is scalping in this movie, as well as some mutilation and gunshot wounds. I whipped my hand up to cover the screen more the once throughout and I’m pretty decent with blood.

Recommend?: Sure. It’s a pretty solid film and last time I checked it’s free on Netflix.

Centurion (Quintus Dias)

Rating: 6.5/10

Quick Summary: In the something-or-other A.D. the Romans are up somewhere near Britain trying to expand the empire, as one does, but are having trouble with the native peoples of those lands called the Picts. The Picts keep decimating their armies, as they do with Quintus Dias’s men. The Picts take him in rather than killing him because he speaks their language, allowing him to escape and meet up with another regiment. Together, they try again to attack the Picts and again are defeated handily. This time the Picts take their general of sorts. Dias and a small group of men are the only ones to survive and attempt to rescue him, but ultimately fail. Afterwards they begin their attempt to escape to safety, all the while being hunted by the Picts.

Some Thoughts: So I fully expected to hate this movie. When I saw this was the other one on Netflix I was Not Happy, but? It kind of surprised me. I think really it did a couple small things well and that turned my favor of it. It really isn’t that great of a movie, with a lot of narration and not a ton to say, but it’s certainly not offensive. It turned into a survival movie rather than a war movie which I greatly preferred. They also weren’t super over the top with the romantic subplot which was….SHOCKING. Usually, in my experience with the Fassathon, if there can be a sex scene there Will Be A Sex Scene, but not here. They meet a cool witch lady along the way who takes to Quintus, but never is it obnoxious, nor does it waste time with it. It was a breath of fresh air tbh…. I’m probably patting this movie on the back for little things too much, but I really do think it could have been a lot worse. It’s fine. I don’t really know who the target audience was supposed to be but it might be good for a night when you’re bored and can’t think of anything else to watch. You get to watch Fassbender run valiantly and stupidly shirtless through the snow if nothing else.

Warnings: It can get bloody, but not overly so. Also mentions of past sexual assault, but nothing shown.

Recommend?: Eh…like I said. Maybe for the night you’re flipping around and there’s nothing on. Decent popcorn flick, probably not worth spending money on.

Trespass Against Us (Chad Cutler)

Rating: 3/10

Quick Summary: Nothing I could write will make this movie’s plot make any damn sense but I’ll try anyway. Basically there’s this family called the Cutlers who are….Irish tent-people and also a weird kind of mob family with a patriarch named Colby. They live in this little trailer park circle and commit crimes to get by. The plot basically revolves around Fassbender’s character Chad Cutler trying to get out from under Colby’s thumb in order to give his wife and two children a better life. Unfortunately, it seems again and again that he’s already dug his grave and there’s nothing to do but lie in it.

Some Thoughts: So this is a weird movie. The whole conceit is weird and another one that you just kind of have to go with to be able to watch it. Its problem is that it doesn’t really have an arc or a narrative that goes anywhere. If it really had wanted to do something it would have needed to allow Chad to make any progress in his attempts to get away. The dialogue is full of slang and really difficult to understand at times. The whole dynamic of the family is sort of confusing and it’s never explained, just thrust upon you immediately. There are some good interactions, notably between Colby and Chad. The parental relationship between Chad and his son is interesting too, but it really just doesn’t go anywhere with itself. I got a little caught up in the emotionality of it watching it, but looking back I can see how flawed it is. I really don’t see what the director was getting at. Also the religious overtones are strange and didn’t do a whole lot. Just kind of unimpressive if still nice to look at sometimes.

Warnings: Animal death. A lot, actually, and often purposeful. Disturbing behavior, especially one scene where a man is stripped and humiliated. It was surprising and difficult to watch.

Recommend?: Hard pass. Skip it.

300 (Stelios)

Rating: 4/10

Quick Summary: Gerard Butler leads a group of 300 dudes against a gigantic, vaguely racist depiction of the Persian army.

Some Thoughts: I have nothing original to say about this movie, I’m sure. I was……not super happy to find it on here honestly, so I did my best to just enjoy it by making fun of it. Most people know what 300 is like. It’s got some interesting visuals, but it’s definitely one that looks pretty and does as little as possible. Mostly it’s a male power fantasy interwoven with quite a bit of racism, particularly in the portrayal of the Persians. It’s saturated with slow-mo shots and rousing speeches that aren’t really that important to anything. It’s a good one to watch on a bad movie night probably if you don’t mind some of the gore. This was Fassbender’s first theatrical appearance if I’m correct and he’s fine. I guess one plus-side of this movie is that everyone’s practically naked the whole time and super buff so that can be fun to ogle if nothing else. It is what it is.

Warnings: Body horror, lots of blood, and war stuff. Tiddies? Racism? Scottish yelling?

Recommend?: It’s your life buddy. It’s probably one to see once so you can rag on it in good conscience.

Steve Jobs (Steve Jobs)

Rating: 9/10

Quick Summary: A movie shot in three parts showing a dramatized version of the events before the release of three of Jobs’s products, focusing in on his relationship with his coworkers as well as past lover and daughter.

Some Thoughts: This is an excellent movie. It’s another one I’d readily recommend to anyone. The scale of the script is unheard of, meaning it’s super dialogue-heavy but you don’t notice at all. It’s completely absorbing. The performances are top-notch all around. This is another one of Fassbender’s best performances. He sinks into the role completely and does a phenomenal job. Kate Winslet is equally wonderful and balances Fassbender’s Jobs well. I really knew nothing about Jobs before watching this movie and I don’t know how much is true and how much is dramatized but I think that shows that even someone who knows nothing can enjoy it and find it interesting. The politics of it all were particularly wild to bear witness to. It’s a great character piece and it deserved the nominations it got in my opinion. I really liked Jobs’s relationship with his daughter as well. I don’t know how they managed to make a movie full of mostly talking so exciting but they did. I also think they did a great job of not idolizing Jobs at all, nor vilifying him. They walked a fine line and wrote him so he seemed truly human rather than a historical figure. That’s hard to do but they nailed it. Once again, I have little bad to say. If you’re not interested in Jane Eyre, Shame, or Frank here’s another good option for you.

Warnings: The IMDb parental advisory page said something about there being some sex/intimacy stuff but I never saw anything which makes me Highly Suspicious

Recommend?: Yes! Give it a chance!

(cont. in pt. 2 / pt. 3)

#fassathon #shut up alice #holy shit an actual post? #that's never happened before #listen i know this is long as shit #and no one's going to actually read this #but i spent a long-ass time on this #and i wanted to actually put it up for posterity #really i'm just proud of how hard i dragged the counselor #i'm sure there are grammatical errors in here but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ #i had to wrap this thing up somehow #it's 1000% self-indulgent but....i don't Care #if i had anywhere more appropriate to post this i would but.... #where tf else am supposed to put this crap

[its-just-like-the-movies]

Rewatches and Reconsiderations

I can already tell that my viewing list for August is going to be a bit smaller than the ones for the past few months. The business of moving in and getting myself situated has made it difficult for me to sit down and watch anything, especially since a lot of it has been rentals on iTunes that I’ve been afraid to play without a confirmed block of free time on the horizon. Many of these have been rewatches to boot, so even the listed stuff isn’t exactly new. As is, that’s given me more time to think about the projects, not just this month’s but previous ones I haven’t given much thought to, as well as doing a “Fifites” progress report. Something I’ve decided to copy from blogs I’m a fan of, it’s basically my ballot fifty films into the year. I’m currently trapped at 48, trying not to have Good Time and Ingrid Goes West and other quote-unquote “releases” when I’ve missed so much from the summer I know I shouldn’t’ve. Anyways, in lieu of a lot of fully-formed reviews, here’s a handful of films I’ve pretty much turned the worm on.

If there’s been a more profound switch in my recent opinion of something, it has to be the complete collapse of favor towards Landline. I walked out of that film positively buzzing, with my sister equally into what we had just seen. Maybe the first sign that we weren’t into it was that we spent most of the drive home talking not about the film but about people whose lives were in similar situations, people we knew who feared their fathers were cheating on their mothers. Melina talked about how great it would be when Jenny Slate wins an Oscar (not for this film, just in the future), and I couldn’t help but think about how I repeatedly felt her performance here to be so much emptier than what she gave us in Obvious Child. Then again, a lot of things here feel emptier than Obvious Child, unconvincing in almost every conceivable way. I don’t know what made Gillian Robespierre want to set this in 1995 New York, and barely anything specifies itself to this period the way that 20th Century Women is so clearly set in 1979 California. The break-up scenes are so very much going to be break-up scenes from the moment they start, and a character’s anxious agreement to buy heroin is all we need to know that she will very clearly not buy heroin when the time comes. It’s just empty, with almost nothing to surprise us, and I take my A- as being premised on chords it struck and the interest in Robespierre’s messy characters, mistakenly assuming that messiness conveyed meaning. My sister and I were impressed that the film ended on such an oddly happy note, confident as we were that even one extra scene couldn’t have been so precariously perched with characters acting so warmly to each other. But does the film know that? Does it think Slate’s reconciliation with her bafflingly soon-to-be-husband will last? I feel bad that my 180 on Landline happened outside of the theater, but I have no interest in seeing it again either way, and am perfectly content to let my fraught ideas just exist without giving it a second chance, at least for now.

Colossal, which I enjoyed so much so many months ago, has faced a similar swing down too. This one feels more likely to get a rewatch, but no film that so casually has the destruction of South Korea as a plot conceit/pastiche homage without really doing anything with it except destroying South Korea should have any kind of B grade. The script’s inability to deepen Hathaway’s character once it gets fixated on probing Sudeikis’ scuzzy bastard is also something I should’ve given more thought too, as is the seemingly unprompted attack on the never-to-be-seen-again Tim Blake Nelson character over something that isn’t actually hinted at until that point. Is Sudeikis underplaying, or is the script simply allowing him to just act in the same kind of way and make it seems deeper given new contexts? Are we supposed to care about Dan Stevens at all, especially after the scripted moment of comparing his want of control over her to Sudeikis’s? Everyone seems underdeveloped and in service to a thesis on misogyny and male abusiveness that coheres less with the alcoholism-as-kaiju thesis the more you look at it, nevermind how poorly both ideas stand on their own. Kudos to Nacho Vigalondo for such an inspired premise, but I wish I found more there to really commend, or more there period.

For our one-year anniversary, one of the films my boyfriend and I watched was Logan. I remember walking out of that film high on everything it did with the Wolverine character, where it took his arc and what happened with Professor X and Laura. Another spin dampened most of the film for me, leaving me appreciative of all the risks it took but basically stopping at just appreciating them. It’s impressive to have such a dour tone without succumbing to the kind of boring, depressing “seriousness” that Batman v Superman has, not to mention how Logan’s trying to be a Western more than it is a straight-up X-Men film. It takes guts to envision a superhero film like that, nevermind one that’s the send-off for two of your franchise’s most beloved characters. The inclusion of X-23 feels equally risky and yet, existing within the same cultural space as Arya Stark and Eleven, seems like a fairly logical extension of where the film would go. This time around I ended up finding Dafnee Keen’s impressively steely and ferocious performance to be the crown jewel of the film, freed as she is from the cliches and inevitable goodbyes bagging down Hugh Jackman and Patrick Stewart while refusing to maker character conventionally likeable or cuddly or remotely childlike. Stewart especially feels bogged by this, though I admired his own abrasiveness and restraint in a part that could beg for easy sympathy and overbaked “madness”, and if Logan as scripted is amazingly reluctant to even be in the film, I still think Jackman does strong work throughout, convincing us of a palpably worn-out hero without selling him short. His desire to buy a boat with Charles isn’t a pipe dream but a goal he’s actively working towards, and his bonds with Charles, Caliban, and Laura all feel believable, not to mention how well he puts over Logan’s depression. If it’s not the full-on coup that I remembered, it’s still a commendable piece of acting, one of three pretty good performances the film offers. Frankly, I found little to admire beyond its central performances (though I did like bits of Marco Beltrami’s score), but this is still a commendably ambitious take on a superhero’s curtain call, and one I’m sure we’re not going to see anything like very soon.

On the plus side of things is another stroll through Personal Shopper, which I found so much more captivating the second time around on practically all fronts, especially in relationship to its star turn. I’d like to think most of my irritation with it was rooted in being too focused on the film’s plot, but that doesn’t explain how dismissive I was of Kristen Stewart’s performance, especially in the midst of so much internet hype around her performance from sources I trust. Was it bad mood? That feels unlikely, since I immediately popped into a screening of The Devils and loved it. Not that The Devils is in any way similar to Personal Shopper, but maybe I cottoned to such a nasty, deliciously horrific project because of how much it loved showing off its enormous vulgarity. Then again, how could one watch the film and not see all the great work Stewart was doing, as I did, and so rudely called for literally anyone else to have taken her place? Personal Shopper is asking a lot of questions about responding to grief in the face of unthinkable personal tragedy, and nothing it’s doing would work without Stewart’s work. I can’t believe I criticized her performance for being so unemotive when Maureen is barely put together at practically every moment in the film. If her personal fashion and hairstyle gives her the air of the coolest Beat poet you’ve never met - and lord how did I say nothing of the amazing costumes - Stewart plays Maureen as a frayed, barely corked bottle of anxiety and irritation from the first time we see her, who only seems assured wearing her boss’s outfits. Stewart convincingly plays an open book who’s the opposite of a people person, who doesn’t seem to like most personal interactions without making her boyfriend seem like an idiot for trusting her or cruel for doubting the existence of spirits. Even when trying on the most risque of Kyra’s outfits in the film’s most ostentatiously soundtracked and voyeuristically filmed sequence Stewart never seems to notice she’s being filmed, so vanity-free is her performance without quite being self-effacing or drawing attention to her own acting. It’s a miracle of a performance in a film that encompasses more tones and variations on the weird and the haunting than I initially realized, or perhaps respected. It may also have some of the year’s best costume work, by Jurgen Doering, who finds such gorgeous outfits for Maureen to gift for her nearly invisible boss while giving her her own remarkable, equally eye-catching ensemble of outfits to wear. It’s such a stupendous jump up in my personal opinions of it, and though it’s not the best film of the year - though it surely contains one of its best performances - it may be my favorite purely on the grounds of how much more I’ve grasped from another tour, and a deeply felt lesson in rewatching projects you just couldn’t “get”.

From there, the projects I’ve revisited - I Don’t Feel At Home In This World Anymore and The Lost City of Z - were ones I greatly enjoyed and found myself in basically the same place with a second trip through, albeit with a finer reading of their assets, and their goals. Both boast so much value, are utterly compelling experiences on any number of levels. I urge anyone interested in these projects to find them and watch them as soon as possible, but given that all the films I’ve talked about here are more in line with changed opinions than ones that stayed the same, I’ll leave those two be. Hope everyone’s doing well back at school, and a lovely evening to all you beautiful people. See you next time, hopefully with a real review!

#my posts #my reviews #2017 #personal shopper #logan #colossal #landline

[nerdandabook]

Logan Review (spoilers)

I want to do something interesting with this blog, and while it will predominantly be book related I do want to spread out to other types of media as well. So with that in mind I am presenting my review of Logan, the last outing of Hugh Jackman as the (seemingly) immortal Wolverine.

The movie starts off in 2029 to there being no more mutants being born. Apparently that evolutionary branch has finally snapped and were left with the stragglers of a dying race. Enter Logan, also known as wolverine, our “hero” who is found in the company of an aging and mentally ill Professor X and a young, silent girl who seems to have the same abilities as Logan. They are being chased by a government agency that created the girl named Laura using Logan’s DNA and trained her to be just as vicious as he was in his prime. Together they search for someplace safe from their potential captors.

I was hit by a wave of sadness as all the characters started to make their appearances. You are hit very quickly with the knowledge that these are physically old characters, even Logan is pushing 400 years at this point in time and he definitely feels it. He has a limp, his claws dont extend as easily as they used to and he just is generally tired. He is shot a few times early on and while he can still shake off the hits, you see it taking the better part of an hour for him to fully heal from the trauma. Professor X isnt much better, at this point he is suffering from a degenerative brain disease which for a person like him means that without knowledge or even really trying he can kill everyone around him within a mile radius. As such they must keep him constantly drugged to dampen his abilities and keep him calm. Two of quite literally the most powerful beings on the planet are reduced to a state that most people wouldnt want to keep living in and it only gets worse from there. In fact we find out that Logan is carrying around an adamantium bullet so that if he wanted to, he could end his life.  This can be considered a small spoiler but not really much of a surprise so Im comfortable saying it here, the reason Logan is so worn down and dying is because of the adamantium in his body. After so long it is poisoning his body and again causing it to deteriorate faster than he can heal himself. Another thing I was not ready for was the language in the film. When I popped the film in I forgot that it was an R rating. The first time he drops a serious F bomb I was very taken aback and for some reason i never really got used to it. Something about these characters that have been around since my childhood suddenly not holding back shocked me. That being said if Logan acting so catches you off guard, hearing Charles dropping F bombs will really send you reeling. Im not one to be sensitive to profanity but it felt a little like they were given free reign of it and because of that over used it a little bit. Just my opinions.

MASSIVE SPOILER WARNING!!! PRETTY MUCH THE WHOLE PLOT OF THE FILM!! 

So Logan, Charles and Laura are on the run from an agency that uses Mutant DNA to create soldiers similar to what the weapon X program did to Logan.... because it is the weapon X program helmed by Stryker’s son and doing the exact same thing (sans the horrible deadpool attempt like in “The Wolverine”, at least he learned from his fathers mistakes.) Turns out he has made X-23 who again is technically Logan’s daughter and X-24 who is an exact clone of Logan except subservient to Stryker’s wishes. After a fight that leaves wolverine injured, a family and Charles DEAD and Laura desperate to reach her friends (the other kids in the weapon X program) wolverine caves and agrees to bring her to them and they can head to Canada where they hope they can be safe. A lot of stuff happens but in the end of course they beat the bad guy, Laura uses Logan’s adamantium bullet to kill X-24 but the fight has left wolverine mortally wounded and as he finally begins to understand what it’s like to have someone who cares for him and he care for them in return, he passes away leaving Laura alone to grieve over his body. 

All in all this was all this was a great movie and I enjoyed it a lot. It was a great close to two very endearing characters while introducing a few new ones to carry on the legacy. As I said in the beginning, mutants are no longer being born so the result of the new weapon X program is a new generation of mutants to carry on into the future. I felt that Charles’s death was too sudden, it was something they could have given a little more time to seeing as how this is one of the most important characters in the entire series, but alas it served its purpose and gave him a proper send off. Logan’s death was not unexpected but nontheless upsetting as he finally finds a bit of happiness and a family that he never really allowed himself to have and just like that it’s taken away from him and even sadder, Laura. I’m excited to see where the franchise will go in the future, however it will never be the same without these two. I believe next up is the Dark Pheonix story which should be interesting.... I’ll see you all again forthwith!

I truly appreciate you if you’ve made it this far as this is the first movie review I’ve ever done. It will take me some time to get fully accustomed to it and I do want to do the best I can with these. So if you’ve made it this far I truly appreciate you and I hope you’ll check in again next time... Till then...

Nautilus, 

Suravye ninto manshima taishite

#x-men #old man logan #logan #spoilers #hugh jackman #patrick stewart #movie review

[aion-rsa]

X-POSITION – ResurrXion Revealed With the X-Editors: Part 1

The X-Line is getting a major overhaul this spring, as Marvel launches a whole new crop of comics. The initiative, titled ResurrXion, will see the arrival of new flagship series like “X-Men Gold” and “X-Men Blue” as well as team books like “Generation X” and “Weapon X.” Additionally, a trio of characters will get their own ongoings: “Iceman,” “Jean Grey” and “Cable.” On top of all that, “All-New Wolverine” and “Old Man Logan” will continue slashing their way through villains with new storyarcs and — in “Old Man Logan’s” case — a new creative team.

This week in X-POSITION, the X-Men editors Mark Paniccia, Daniel Ketchum, Christina Harrington and Chris Robinson answer your questions about “X-Men Gold,” “Generation X” and “Jean Grey”!

CBR News: Welcome back to X-POSITION, X-Editors! It’s been a while and we’re glad to have you back. First up, we’ll start with a question about the “Uncanny” cast from Weslley.

While I’m excited about ResurrXion, I am disappointed that Psylocke and Archangel are nowhere to be seen after all the amazing character development both got in Cullen Bunn’s “Uncanny X-Men.” Will we see them anytime soon?

Mark Paniccia: First, let’s give Cullen a round of applause for the work he (props to editor Daniel Ketchum as well) put into the series and the craft he invested in these characters. Second, Psylocke and Archangel are very popular but we need just one more e-mail asking for their return before we can seriously consider anything. 😉

Christina Harrington: These are two of my favorite characters, especially after Cullen’s run on “Uncanny.” And after that great character development, I don’t think Archangel or Psylocke will stay off the table for long…

Daniel Ketchum: We have received so many e-mails and tweets about Psylocke and Archangel! Fear not: there is a concrete plan in place for the pair. You’ll hear about it very soon…

Next up, Ben has a Q about the larger mutant metaphor.

Will the X-Men still retain their civil rights roots? As a longtime X-Men fan, I think that the team’s best stories (“God Loves, Man Kills,” “Days of Future Past,” Grant Morrison’s “New X-Men”) aren’t really about big superhero brawls, but sociopolitical ideas involving race, religion, and sexuality… I just hope that even if they do go more “classic” superhero, that the message behind them won’t be lost. Will that thought continue, and which books is it most evident in?

Paniccia: Those ideas were baked into the X-Men’s DNA from the very beginning, Ben. They’re what make them the most relatable characters in the history of comics and we would never abandon that core concept. We do want to lean into the superhero of it all, the unique power sets, the big battles, the action…all those things that make comics exciting and fun.

Harrington: It’s the most X-Men thing of all, to me, to have these characters dive into contemporary issues and really explore them — with a more fantastical framing, of course. So of course those elements are going to be involved in these new stories — they wouldn’t be X-Men stories to me without them. I think you’re going to find stories of this type across the line — alongside some more traditional super hero tales, of course. We can do allegory…but we have to also do punching.

This time around, Anduinel gets the honor of asking this question.

Now that there are squads of students specifically training to be X-Men over in “Gen X,” what are the odds of getting “New X-Men” relaunch down the line? Between the Kyle/Yost run, the Utopia era, “Second Coming,” and “Schism,” those kids have got to be the most over-qualified student class in X-Men history by this point (and possibly the most disillusioned with the X-Men’s methods).

Chris Robinson: You’re gonna see every era of “X-Kids” revisited in the pages of “Gen X.” From Glob Herman to Hellion to Pixie all the way back to original “New Mutants” cast members.

Ketchum: Chances of a “New X-Men” relaunch are slim, but as Chris mentioned, those characters haven’t been forgotten and will be turning up regularly in the “X-Men” titles already on the slate. Surge and Nezhno make appearances as soon as “X-Men Prime.” The Stepford Cuckoos, Pixie and Graymalkin will show up in “Generation X.” And Anole, Rockslide and Armor turn up in the first arc of “X-Men Gold.” While they may not have a title of their own, they are still very much part of the fabric of the X-Universe.

Paniccia: And speaking of “Generation X” we have a little something special planned in “X-Men Blue.” It’s gonna be really freakin’ cool!

Let’s move on to the “X-Men Gold” portion of this week’s X-PO, with a question from Bernie.

Will Nightcrawler finally be a significant character and not just a fill-in one? Will he go back to his true, lovable, swashbuckling self we love him for?

Robinson: Yes!

Ketchum: “X-Men Gold”!

Paniccia: One of my favorite X-Men!!!

Maestroneto has a major question about one character’s costume.

Jokes about fashion sense aside, will Kitty ever get a unique costume again that isn’t based on a training suit? The last time was in the mid-’90s and I’m disappointed that her Excalibur-inspired costume from “GotG” didn’t make it to ResurrXion. Since Guggenheim’s pitch is that Kitty is all grown up, it’s a little bit weird that she looks about ready to join the New Mutants.

Ketchum: Is there really anything wrong with taking the Steve Jobs approach after years of wearing every color and accouterment under the sun?

“Uncanny X-Men” #149 interior art by Dave Cockrum, Josef Rubinstein and Don Warfield

Truth be told, we didn’t reinvent the wheel with Kitty for “X-Men Gold,” because that classic X-Men uniform really said it all: This is a return to form. Kitty is the quintessential X-Man, the student who rose through the ranks and has stared down every evil, and yet is perhaps still the most stalwart believer in Xavier’s dream. Could the Xavier School’s finest student really wear anything else?

Not to mention, remember when Kitty first tried to take on an individual costume, but Xavier made her change back to the training uniform because a unique look had to be “earned”? I LOVE the idea that Kitty took that restriction and then turned the rules on their head…and now owns that training uniform look. That’s a great message in itself, I think…

Paniccia: I echo Daniel’s sentiment. And [“X-Men Gold” writer Marc] Guggenheim’s vision for Kitty (both as a character and stylistically) comes from the heart. Which is, in my humble opinion, where the best X-Men stories come from.

And here’s a question from Purplevit about everyone’s favorite Ragin’ Cajun…

Gambit wasn’t a part of any ongoing for years and appeared only as guest star. Can we expect Gambit to join any teams in 2017?

Robinson: I think you’re gonna wanna see the cover to “X-Men Gold” #4, Purp…

Paniccia: And there’s some place else he could be popping in the summer. Shhhhh.

Now we’re in the “Generation X” portion of this week’s Q&A, with a question from madroxdupe.

Any plans for a reunion of sorts? I grew up on this book, and I have to say, I’m disappointed it’s not like the New Mutants relaunch from several years ago with the OG members coming back.

Paniccia: I’ll let Daniel speak to that but Christina Strain is writing an X-Book!!!!!!!!!!!! She is one of my favorite people in comics!

Ketchum: “Generation X” was actually the first series I followed from issue #1, so it holds a special place for me as well, madroxdupe! And you better believe that writer Christina Strain and I have talked about how important it is that this book be both the story of a new generation of mutants as well as the return of the original cast. Issue #1 actually opens on Jubilee and Chamber, and the reunions continue from there…

And here’s a question from The Big G about the student body.

We know “Gen X” will showcase the “Oddballs” of the X-Students, but how much spotlight will the students actually training to be X-Men get?

Ketchum: Did Anduinel put you up to asking this question, Big G? Ha.

“Generation X” writer Christina Strain and I were actually just on the phone yesterday talking about how 20 pages per issue just aren’t enough. We would love to give lots of screentime to all of the kids! But with a main cast of relatively new characters who have stories of their own to be told, we probably won’t be able to devote too much time to those students we’re already pretty well-acquainted with. But we promise to do our best to not let them languish in the gutters!

Paniccia: Have I mentioned that Christina Strain is one of my favorite people in comics.

And we close this week with a question focusing on “Jean Grey” from Chandler.

I really miss Emma Frost. Specifically, I miss the interactions between young Jean and Emma…even the Cuckoos. I believe Emma was able to push Jean to try new things making her more than she had ever been before, with exception of the Phoenix Force. Are there any plans to have Jean interact with a Emma or the Cuckoos?

Ketchum: Has everyone read the end of “Inhumans vs. X-Men”? Without giving anything away, that series leaves Emma in a very different place than she’s been for the past few years. Needless to say, there are big plans for Emma. I wouldn’t rule out a run-in between Emma and Jean, but Emma has some bigger fish to fry in the immediate future…

Paniccia: Emma has such a rich history with the X-Men that it’s hard to imagine a world without her. There is something sizzling in the kitchen. You’ll hear about it soon.

Special thanks to Mark Paniccia, Daniel Ketchum, Chris Robinson and Christina Harrington for taking on this qeek’s questions! This two-part X-PO will conclude next week with more ResurrXion talk.

The post X-POSITION – ResurrXion Revealed With the X-Editors: Part 1 appeared first on CBR.com.

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