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mandospace · 3 years

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Keeping Company (Boba Fett x Reader Smut)

Request: If you're still taking requests, would you write a Boba x female reader smut? I headcannon Boba as being really rough most of the time, kinky as hell, and definitely has a breeding kink. I'm not into the entire 'daddy' thing, but am game for just about anything else.

Requested By: @asaucecoveredsomething

Word Count: 4,658

Warnings: SMUT! If you are under 18, do not interact! Masturbation, slight voyeurism, edging, orgasm denial, fingering, oral (f receiving), slight choking, slight bondage, PinV sex, fluff at the end!

A/N: I am a whore for Boba and I got way too into this while I was writing it. I hope you Boba fuckers love reading this because I sure enjoyed writing it!

MASTERLIST

Slave One was silent besides the constant thrum of electricity running through it's wires. It was parked on some obscure desert planet, sand whipping against the metal. Boba had been gone for a week already, hunting down some Twi'lek that had wronged him before the fall of the Empire. Now as king of the crime underworld and ruler of the territory formerly known as Hutt space, Boba didn't want any ‘loose ends’ coming for his throne. So the two of you took off in his father's old ship two months ago, hunting down the various 'loose ends' scattered throughout the galaxy.

You weren't exactly sure why Boba had decided to take you along with him instead of just leaving you at the palace. Not exactly the best fighter, you were positive that you would have slowed him down with your inexperience. When you brought it up to him, Boba just chuckled and snaked his arm around your waist, tugging you to his side with an "I'm gonna need company on those long nights, sweetness."

So you tagged along behind him, excited when you learned your true purpose on his mission. The two of you had been together for some time now, and even though he wasn't a man of many words, you knew deep down that he loved you. You were completely enamored with your bounty hunter-turned-king, and were willing to do anything to please him. So, you said yes to this journey. You said yes to the picture he painted in your head of the two of you wrapped up in each other during those long nights, keeping him company.

Of course, that hasn't happened since he returned from his first hunt. It had been exactly six weeks, four days, and thirteen hours since you last "kept him company."

It was killing you.

He had become very busy with his hunts after that first successful mission, and your alone time practically evaporated into thin air. The two of you had a very, well, physical, relationship and the need you always felt for him grew with every passing minute. The ache you felt between your legs was constant. It was ever growing, it kept building every time he came back to the ship. Just when you thought that he would take care of you and keep you company this time, he would either immediately set off for another quarry or would collapse on the bed in his quarters and fall asleep faster than you could say 'Wookie.'

So, yeah, you were a little needy.

Normally, you would have just taken care of the situation by yourself, but right before Boba had left on his first hunt he made you promise him that you wouldn't touch yourself. "It'll be fun, sweetness," he had smirked at your shocked face. "Just think, it'll make the reward just that much sweeter when I come back to you."

Sure, you had thought to yourself after the fifth time he fell asleep after returning from a hunt. If you actually stayed up to get your reward.

The ache would just not go away no matter what you tried. You took cold showers, cleaned the entire ship, and even tried to learn how to sew his old pair of pants he tore chasing after a quarry. Nothing took your mind off the way your pussy throbbed at night, demanding to be noticed.

You were left with two options. Option number one, you ignore it. Force yourself to go to sleep and just hope and pray to the Maker that when Boba returns, he doesn't fall asleep on you. Option number two, you take care of it yourself. If you broke the 'no-touching' policy, Boba would surely punish you. But only if he caught you, right? He wasn't due back for another two days, so surely you would be fine.

When you made up your mind, a thrill raced down your spine at the idea of disobeying Boba's orders. He was always in charge in every aspect of your relationship, and when you pushed his buttons before, the tortuous pleasure he gave you made you sore for days. While you loved the punishment, it wasn't nearly as good as him giving you what you desperately craved. But you weren't going to get caught, so you had nothing to worry about.

That night, you laid yourself back on your shared bed with excitement. To make the moment more enjoyable for yourself, you had dug through the ship's crates and found a delicious-smelling candle. You weren’t sure why it was on the ship, but it’s scent reminded you of Boba. The thought of him sent a shiver down your body, reminding you of your own mission.

Eyes fluttering shut, you breathed in the scent of Boba. You could feel your pussy throbbing with excitement at the prospect of what was about to happen. Your hands floated down your body, light touch through your nightshirt leaving a trail of goosebumps in its wake. Hand making its way under your waistband, your finger trailed farther south until it met your slit. A soft gasp left your lips at how wet you found yourself. Your panties were already soaked through with desire. When your nail brushed against your clit, swollen with need, you moaned and bit down on your bottom lip.

You haven’t had any type of release for a month and a half, and you wanted to draw this moment out. Pulling your hand out of your underwear, you tugged your shirt over your head and kicked off your sleep shorts and panties. The ship was cold, and goosebumps raised along your flesh. You could feel your nipples harden at the cold air, peaking in anticipation. Settling back against the pillows, your mind drifted off to Boba. You wished he was here with you, the one to give you the pleasure you so desperately craved. No matter what you did, it would never measure up to what you experienced with him.

Your hands drifted down your body, cupping your breasts. Wishing it was Boba’s large hands on you instead of your own, you brushed a thumb over the hardened peak. A soft moan left your mouth when you gently pinched the pert nipple. Pleasure rippled down your body and settled in your core. Your hands continued on their trail south and you spread your legs wide in anticipation. Two fingers dipped down to your entrance and gathered the slick that was beginning to pool on the sheets. You dragged the wetness to your clit and began rubbing slow circles into the bundle of nerves.

“Boba,” your breath hitched in your throat when a wave of pleasure coursed through your veins. Your left hand squeezed your breast as you flicked the bundle of nerves. You imagined that it was Boba’s thick fingers that were moving down to your sopping entrance instead of your own. Slipping two fingers into your heat, another moan fell from your lips. It had been so long, and you almost cried at the feeling of something in your pussy. While you wished it was Boba’s thick cock instead of your fingers, you made do with what you had available. Boba’s name constantly fell from your lips with breathy moans, wishing your bounty hunter was next to you...

———

The walk back to the ship was long and arduous. It had taken longer than Boba expected to find the Twi’lek that wronged him all those years ago, but he was glad it was finally over with. He didn’t even bother dragging the body back to the ship, there was no use carting around a corpse worth nothing when you already collected on the reward. Besides, Boba was thinking more about a different reward that waited for him on his ship.

When the ship came into his view, Boba sighed in relief. He couldn’t wait to walk up that ramp, throw off his helmet, and wrap you in his arms. These past few weeks were killing him. He wasn’t the young bounty hunter he once was, the hunts took more effort nowadays. By the time he was ready to spend some time with you, he often found himself asleep next to you within a few seconds. Boba ached to be inside you, it had been too long. He originally thought the ‘no-touching’ policy would be a great idea- a way to build up the anticipation and excitement while he was away from you. He just didn’t expect it to be this long of a waiting period.

Boba pressed a button on his vambrace that lowered the ramp. The hull was dark and quiet, only the sound of electricity hummed through the air. He didn’t see you in your usual spot where you waited for him. You must be asleep, Boba figured, and pressed the button again to close the ramp. He couldn’t blame you for sleeping, it was the easiest way to make time pass by faster. Once the ramp locked in position, Boba started to make his way towards his quarters. If you were asleep, he decided that he would join you and get his reward once the two of you had gotten some rest. He had only walked a few paces when a noise stopped him dead in his tracks. He waited to hear it again, trying to discern if it was just a figment of his imagination, but then he heard it-

“Boba.”

He would recognize your voice anywhere. Boba was pretty confident that he could pick your voice out of thousands, but he was damn sure he would be able to if you said it in the tone you just used. Your breathless moaning of his name was his favorite sound in the world.

Boba could feel his cock twitch in his pants at the sound of your moan. He immediately knew what you were doing, but he wanted to see it for himself. He had to catch you in the act if he was going to punish you. So he quietly made his way to his quarters, and stopped just inside the door.

The image of you sprawled out on his bed, naked, hand in between your legs playing with your pussy sent a lightning bolt of lust through his body. His dick pressed against the confines of his pants as he stood there, watching you. Your eyes were closed- you hadn’t seen him come in- and you arched your back in pleasure. Boba’s eyes never left your body, watching the way you thrust your fingers in and out of your wet heat.

“Boba,” you moaned again, biting down on your bottom lip. He couldn’t just stand there, watching you pleasure yourself. That was his job.

“Yes, pretty girl?”

The deep timbre of Boba’s voice through the vocoder of his helmet made your eyes snap open. Immediately, you glanced to the doorway and saw him standing there, full armor on, staring at you pleasuring yourself in his absence. Which you definitely were not supposed to be doing.

“Boba-” you gasped, but he quickly cut you off.

“I thought we agreed to something, princess,” his words dripped from his tongue with lust, the sound making your pussy throb. “No touching while we were apart, right?”

You tried to come up with an excuse whilst you just laid there, fingers still buried between your folds. You were too scared to pull them away. Boba was in charge now.

“Did you really miss my cock that much, sweetness?” His tone was mocking and you couldn’t help but whimper out a measly ‘yes.’ Boba growled deep in his chest. “Hands up.”

Not daring to disobey his orders anymore, you brought your hands up and above your head, resting them on the pillows. Boba stalked towards you before grabbing both of your hands in one of his large gloved ones. He grabbed the cuffs from his belt and cuffed your hands together before magnetizing them to the metal wall at the head of the bed. You weren’t going anywhere.

Boba stood over you, dark visor peering at your flushed face. You squirmed on the bed in anticipation, you knew you fucked up- now was the time to pay for it. “Boba.”

He hummed low in his throat, gloved hand trailing down your neck before resting between the valley of your breasts. You could feel the warmth of him through his glove, and his touch set you ablaze. He had barely touched you, just a single graze, and you were already putty in his hand.

“Please,” you choked out as his hand moved further down your body. He cupped your heat, middle finger gliding through your folds.

“And why should I?” Boba questioned, languidly drawing circles on your clit. He was moving too slow, not giving you the friction you craved. “You disobeyed me, little one.”

Shit, you were really in trouble now. He never called you ‘little one’ unless you really fucked up. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to. I thought-”

“You thought what?” Boba stopped his movements, pulling his hand away from your cunt. He dragged his fingers back up your body, smearing your slick over your stomach. His hand rested at the base of your throat, squeezing slightly. The lack of oxygen made your head swim even more and caused you to let out a whine. “Thought you could touch yourself and I wouldn’t find out?”

All you could do was nod your head. No use in lying to him now. Boba ‘tsked,’ giving your throat another squeeze. “Guess I’m going to have to punish you, little one.”

He was going to make you cry. “Boba, please, I’ll be good.”

“If you aren’t punished,” Boba moved his hands up to his helmet, pulling it off to reveal his lust-filled eyes. “You’ll never learn.”

His hand groped your breast, flicking your nipple before wrapping his warm mouth around it. He sucked your breast into his mouth, tongue lapping at the sensitive skin. Your back arched off the bed in an attempt to push your chest closer to him. Boba lightly bit down on the sensitive bud, causing a pathetic whimper to leave your mouth. He moved over to the other breast, giving it the same attention before he trailed his lips down your stomach. Settling himself between your spread legs, Boba made eye contact with you momentarily before he licked a broad stripe up your pussy.

You screamed at the sensation of his warm tongue running through your folds. It had been forever since he ate you out and it was your favorite kind of torture. Boba’s mouth focused on your clit, sucking hard on it and leaving you breathless. You tugged at your restraints, wanting to use your hands to pull him closer to your dripping heat. Instead, the cuffs dug into your wrist- surely leaving marks. Boba continued to lick your pussy, giving your clit small, fast licks. He brought his gloved hand to your entrance, easily sinking two of his thick fingers into your heat. His fingers felt so much better than yours did, and the way he thrust them in tandem with his tongue licking your clit drove you crazy. You could feel the heat pooling in your tummy, each flick of his tongue and thrust of his fingers adding fuel to the growing flame.

“Boba,” you whined when his teeth grazed your clit. Your hips began to lift off the bed, trying to get closer to his mouth, but he just slung an arm over your hips and pinned you to the bed. His ministrations on your pussy felt delicious, causing breathless whines and moans to roll off your tongue. He added a third finger, pressing them into your dripping cunt before curling upwards. The leather of his glove just barely grazed against the spongy flesh of your walls, and it felt like you had been electrocuted. Your head leaned back in pleasure, mouth forming an ‘O’ as he pressed against that one spot and sucked your clit harshly. It was too much, the feeling of him giving you attention after all these weeks. You could feel the coil in your belly tighten, and a soft cry left your lips. “Boba, I-I’m going to-”

Just as the coiled spring in your tummy was about to snap and send you crashing over the edge, Boba pulled his mouth and fingers away from your cunt. Eyes snapping open in fury, you stared down between your legs where Boba sat on his haunches. His eyes were dark as they watched your heaving chest. You could see the sheen of your slick covering his mouth and chin. You were furious. “Boba, what the hell?!”

Boba just chuckled at your fury, crawling over your body. Tears were starting to pool in your eyes. It felt so good having him between your legs, and you wanted nothing more than to run your hands over his body. Boba brought his slick-coated fingers to your mouth, lightly tapping your bottom lip. “Suck,” he demanded, pushing his fingers into your mouth. You moaned at the taste of you on the old leather, tongue licking clean his fingers. You made sure to meet his gaze before you sucked on his fingers, hard.

“I want you, in my mouth,” you gasped when he pulled his fingers out of your mouth. Boba just stared at you, and brought his own fingers to his mouth to lick off the remnants of your desire. You squirmed under his gaze, and you could see just how hard he was by the tent in his pants. “Please.”

“Bad girls don’t get what they want,” Boba hummed while his hand traveled down to his pants. He quickly unbuttoned his trousers and shoved them down his thighs a bit. His cock sprang to attention, almost slapping against his armored chest. He was swollen with need and extremely hard. His tip was a lovely shade of dusty rose, and precum dripped down his shaft. You couldn’t help but lick your lips at the sight of him. He was gorgeously thick, and you ached to wrap your lips around him.

He gripped his cock at the base and slowly dragged the head through your wet folds. Your breath hitched in your throat when he brushed against your clit. The need and desire that coursed through your veins made you hot to the touch. Boba just knelt there between your legs, lazily dragging his cock back and forth through your pussy. It brought tears to your eyes and you desperately wanted him to do anything besides just tease you like that.

“Boba.”

“Yes, little one?” He didn’t look at you, just watched the way his cock glided through your folds. You could see how tense he was in his beskar-covered shoulders. You wished you could reach out and touch him.

“Please,” you whimpered. You must’ve sounded really desperate because he finally met your gaze. Boba smirked as he positioned himself at your entrance. “Fuck me.”

A chuckle rumbled in his chest whilst his free hand grabbed your hip. “Anything for you, princess.” Boba quickly entered you with a snap of his hips. The feeling of him stretching you out with his thick cock was slightly painful after all of these weeks. Pain melted into pleasure though when he bottomed out in you with a groan. “Fuck, always so tight for me.”

Boba was practically splitting you open on his cock and you couldn’t do anything about it. You pulled at the restraints but it was no use. You pleaded for Boba to move, and he graciously pulled himself back out of your heat, only leaving the tip in. He rested there for a moment and your chest heaved in anticipation. Just when you thought he wasn’t going to move, he slammed back into you and a strangled cry flew past your lips. Boba set a hard and fast pace, pounding into you with no reluctance. His grip on your hips was surely leaving bruises on your skin, but with each drag of his cock against your walls, you found yourself no longer caring. The feeling of him pounding into you was electrifying, and the desire started to build in your lower tummy.

“Boba,” his name constantly slipped past your lips. You were a moaning mess under him, and you wanted nothing more than to pull his face towards yours so you could kiss him. “Please, I need to touch you.”

Boba grunted with each snap of his hips against yours. You weren’t sure if he even heard you over the lewd sound of skin slapping against skin, but he momentarily pulled out of you so he could reach up and undo the cuffs restraining you. Your shoulders ached from being stuck in one position for so long, but you didn’t care. Your hands immediately went to Boba’s scarred face and pulled him towards you. Lips crashing against his, you moaned into his mouth when he pushed his cock back into your pussy. His arms snaked around your waist and tugged you closer to his armored chest. You wrapped your legs around his waist and moaned at the feeling of him pounding into you deeper at the new angle.

“Fuck, sweetness,” Boba moaned against your lips before trailing them down to suck a mark on your neck. Your hands roamed his back and finally settled on his shoulders, fingers gripping the pauldrons to stabilize yourself.

“Missed you so much... Been wanting this sweet pussy for weeks.” Moaning at his words, you could feel the coil in your belly tighten. Your walls fluttered around his cock and he could feel your approaching release. Boba reached down between your bodies and began rubbing fast circles on your clit. “Come for me, little one.”

The combination of Boba’s cock pounding into you, his leather-clad fingers circling your clit, and lips marking your neck sent you over the edge. Pleasure crashed into you and sent you spinning with every pulse of heat coursing through your veins. You moaned loudly and your eyes screwed shut in pleasure. The feeling of your walls clamping down on Boba’s cock as he rode out your high made his own quickly approach. His hands gripped your hips tightly as he pulled them up into his hips in time with his thrusts.

“Feel so good,” Boba’s words started to slur with his approaching release. “M’ sweet girl... take m-me so well.” His hips pistoned into yours. “Fuck, gonna f-fill you up, m-make warriors wi-with-“ Boba’s sentence cut off abruptly with a groan as his balls pulled up tight. He buried himself deep in your fluttering heat, releasing his seed. His cum painted your walls in thick ropes, and you moaned at the feeling of his cock giving you everything he had.

Boba’s forehead rested against yours as the two of you came down from your highs. He pulled out his softening cock from you with a squelch, your combined releases leaking out of your weeping pussy. The sight of his cum leaking from you made Boba swell with pride. He loved knowing that he was the only one who could make you feel this way, the only one who was allowed to come inside of you.

His fingers lightly grazed across your skin, rubbing soothing patterns into your aching muscles. When he reached the apex of your thighs, he gathered what remained of his cum that was leaking out of your entrance and pushed it back in with two fingers. He meant what he said earlier- he desperately wanted to make warriors with you. Boba yearned to watch you swell with his child, becoming round from his seed. The image of you pregnant caused a chill to race down his spine, and Boba pressed his lips to yours.

“Missed you, princess,” he mumbled against your lips. His fingers lazily pumped into you, making sure you were stuffed full with his cum. A breathless sigh escaped past your lips at the feeling, and you pulled back from his kiss to look him in the eyes. They were softer now, content to just be here with you.

“How was the hunt?” You absentmindedly asked, rubbing soothing circles into the back of his neck. You could feel the knots and tension that laid beneath the tan skin.

“Okay,” he shrugged, giving your lips a lazy peck. “Got the bastard. Should only be a few more left.” His thumb brushed over your clit, body shivering at the overstimulation.

“Yeah? And then what?”

“Then, my sweet girl,” Boba pressed another kiss to your mouth. “We go home. And we fuck until the sun goes down.”

“I like that plan,” you smiled. The idea of not having to travel for once, to be able to stay in one place with the man you loved was intoxicating- even if it was on a planet like Tatooine. The feeling of Boba pushing his cum back into your abused pussy made another idea pop up in your mind- one that made your cheeks flush.

“What is it, princess?” Boba hummed against your lips.

“I was just thinking,” you started, unsure of how to proceed. “Do you think there’s any good schools on Tatooine?”

“Schools?” The confusion was evident in Boba’s voice. “You want to go back to school?”

“No,” you giggled, lightly smacking his pauldron. “I was just thinking, if we ever have kids, we are going to want a good school.” His silence made you nervous and you began rambling. “That is, if you want to have kids with me. I’d understand if you didn’t, but I-“

Boba cut your ramblings off with a kiss. He wasn’t really a sappy, romantic man, but you echoing his previous thoughts made his heart soar. “Of course we will get them a good school. If there aren’t any on Tatooine, we’ll build one. Right next to the palace.” The words just flowed out of him. “I’ll hire the best teachers. I’ll teach them how to fight, and you’ll teach them how to be kind and good.”

His words brought tears to your eyes. You never knew that Boba shared the same sentiments as you, and hearing how he talked about it made you pull his lips back to yours. It was a passionate kiss, lips sliding past each other’s and tongues licking into the other’s mouth. Boba’s hand retreated from your pussy in favor of gripping your hip. He could feel his cock stirring again.

Before Boba could do something about it though, you were pushing on his shoulder to roll him onto his back. You followed the motion, legs on either side of his as you sat down on his thighs. His cock was starting to harden again at this new position, and the sight of it made you bring your lip between your teeth. You reached out for it, fingers wrapping around the base before slowly pumping it.

“Sweetness, not that I’m complaining, but what are you doing?” Boba’s words fell from his lips with a soft moan. The image of you straddling him and pumping his hardening cock sent swirls of desire through his veins.

“Why wait until we get back to the palace for you to fuck a baby into me?” You slightly lifted your hips and gripped his cock, nestling it at your entrance. The tip of his head pushed in, and you sank your body down on his cock with a moan. Boba’s hands gripped your hips tightly.

“Fuck,” Boba cursed when you started gently rocking your hips on his cock. “You’re gonna be the death of me.”

“Buckle up, old man,” your chuckle evolved into a moan when his tip brushed up against that sweet spot inside of you. “I’m planning on getting pregnant before the sun comes up.”

Your words made a growl rip through his chest, hips jutting up into yours. “We’re just getting started, little one.”

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thewritingbasil · 3 years

Text

First time writing and publishing something like this! I hope you enjoy!

Chrome x modern!Reader

* When you find out Chrome goes out to explore on his own and lives outside the village, you worry about who will notice if something goes wrong. Since you’re curious and also love discovering things and can’t sit still in the village for a long time, you tell Chrome about the modern-day buddy-system idea and start joining him on his expeditions.

* He’d love to take you exploring and show all the exciting things he discovered! He’s never had an exploring buddy before, and while Senkuu does appreciate what he finds, Senkuu spends more of his time creating blueprints and solving problems in the lab and using what he has available, not looking for things that will maybe be helpful in the future. That’s why he trusts Chrome and, now, you to have an eye for materials that will help the Kingdom of Science grow

* At first Chrome has a lot to teach you, like how to notice materials, where to walk, and how to keep track of time and your location especially since you need to get used to not having a cell phone.

* But eventually you become a great explorer in your own right and he has a lot of trust in you as his partner. In fact, he ends up trusting you a lot when the buddy system helps out, like when he once experienced a small cave-in or when he needed emergency first aid.

* You also find things he overlooked because you both tend to look in different directions when you’re searching.

* He loves that someone else shares his love of exploring with him. When he used to search alone, it was very isolating and he could get lost in his head while walking. Now, you remind him about food and he’s willing to take slightly greater risks when trying to reach somewhere because he’s got you as an extra pair of hands and eyes and brain.

* The combined haul is also bigger, which he gets super excited about. You both chatter to each other and compare stashes when you’re organizing what you found into different baskets at the end of the day.

* When Senku compliments you both on the materials found, Chrome proudly grins at you.

* Chrome isn’t just an explorer though, he’s a scientist which means he can’t spend all his time exploring with you. He goes to work with Senkuu while you help out elsewhere because, buddy system! You’re not going on your own.

* If you’re also working in another group like crafts or the power group, you go for a period of time without seeing him because you’re working on different projects.

* However! During your trips, you both became used to showing each other your finds and communicating when working in different sections to know how each other is doing

* He also appreciated the conversations you would bring about the modern world and about yourself, and how you were eager to learn about himself and his village. So he gets used to that routine of you being there to converse with.

* Chrome ends up talking with you during breaks about what the each of you are doing and exciting progress reports and how the materials you found are being put to use. Both of you get excited learning that something you’ve found has a cool scientific purpose/property and you invite each other to stop by and watch it in action.

* He loves seeing your eyes light up in amazement as you watch and praise his work.

* When you show him your group’s work, it’s not as science-y but he acknowledges your skill and hard work and he is also a craftsman and not too strong so whether you’re in the crafting group or power group, you still impress him. He’s not shy about praising you and gives you high fives or says “Baaaad!” This also helps him get along with other people in your group since he and they don’t usually interact.

* Obviously, Chrome would take a long time to realize that he’s fallen in love with you. He’s known Ruri for over 3 years and he still hasn’t figured it out.

* But others start noticing that he goes out of his way to get you to show off something. They’d understand if the project was finished, but when it’s a work in progress, it’s not very impressive to show. But you love it every single time because you’re curious and actually enjoy seeing everything put together little by little. Then, when the project is done, you can visualize the components and hard work that was put in to create it.

* And the villagers watch how he gets more talkative when you show interest and ask questions. He brings up inventions from the modern era that you’ve told him about so you both seem to share a mysterious language that they can’t understand. Some of them start shipping you two long before he notices anything.

* During mealtimes, you sometimes eat together. You talk about your next scavenging trip, new places in the village you haven’t explored, new projects, so many things. You both can get pretty sucked in to your conversations, forgetting the food. However you’re usually the one who finally remembers that you’re eating, and you teasingly shove food in his mouth. Your cheeky grin has blood rushing into his face and he is dazed, until he shakes himself out of it and starts to eat again.

* People are watching and nudging each other.

* Soon, Chrome becomes aware of you in a way he hasn’t before. He can’t help but smile every time you make eye contact. He craves the casual way you touch him and makes sure to be within your arms’ reach so you’re more likely to nudge him or grab him to drag him off somewhere in your excitement.

* When you first met him with Senku and Kohaku, you learned that he liked Ruri and never questioned it since. Whenever he talked about her, you could tell she was special to him. You made teasing jokes like forging a hairpin from iron and giving it to her with the line of “the burning fire in my heart for you was so hot I melted the iron with it” and he got flustered and groaned over the dumb line

* Recently, when you made those types of jokes, he felt conflicted. Part of him still got flustered but when he looked at you grinning and thinking you were oh so clever, he started to wonder why you would act like he liked Ruri when, thinking about it, he liked you...wait what?? He didn’t like you!

* Sure he thought you were cool and fun to hang out with and capable but that’s just something he admires and that’s a good friend, right?

* Right, he thought, shaking his head. You were a trusted partner, he didn’t want to kiss you or anything...

* “What?” You looked over your shoulder at him. “You got quiet over there.” You two were spending the late afternoon before dinner organizing your haul and you had just said that the location today was so beautiful Chrome should show it to Ruri once Senku cured her.

* He stared at your slightly parted lips. Did he want to kiss them? He was a man of science. When he collected rocks and plants, he’d grind, combine, set on fire, and experiment to find out how they reacted. Your mouth was kind of pretty, and yeah maybe he did want to see if kissing you was enjoyable.

* Chrome’s hands stopped working and now he was looking at you with unfocused eyes and a furrowed brow. You paused in your sorting and turned fully towards him. “You got a look on your face. Whatcha thinking about?”

* He is totally used to telling you his ideas so without hesitation, he answers before thinking, “What kissing you would feel like.” Then, he realized what he said. “Noooo! Sorry, that’s creepy right?” He zoomed backwards away from you, almost crashing into a table. How could he say that to you, you were one of his best friends!

* “Uhhh...” Chrome closed his eyes and braved himself for a rejection, ready to be kicked out of his hut for the next hour. “It’s not that creepy, I guess?” He heard you say. Were his ears working properly? He cracked an eye open to peek at you. You grinned awkwardly at him, having one side of your mouth quirked up.

* “Science inquiry, right? Question everything.”

* Maybe it was the afternoon sun or him imagining things, but your face looked a little pink. Kind of tempting. Whoa, did he really like you?

* “I need to figure something out.” He looked at you intensely.

* “Let me in on it, I wanna know.” Before, you had been avoiding eye contact out of shyness but now your eyes looked into his, drawing him closer. His footsteps seemed to be drowned out by the drums in his chest. He was getting nervous.

* He stopped a little ways in front of you. Being so close to you was almost making him lose his nerves. Kissing you? That seemed impossible.

* “Come on, Chrome.” You entwined both of your hands with his and pulled him closer until you were sharing the same air.

* You closed your eyes and patiently waited. Still with his heart beating in his ears, he looked at your long lashes, your eyebrows arched expectantly, and your flushed cheeks.

* You were getting nervous standing there and you bet your hands were all sweaty now. “Did you change your mind?” You did tend to grab him and drag him places. This was something he should be able to choose without being pressured. You started to loosen your hands, and he ripped his hands away.

* Before you could get disappointed, you felt those hands suddenly on the sides of your face and your lips met something soft.

* He was kissing you.

* Despite the sudden kiss, he knew enough to not just smash your lips together. It was much more of a firm press, one that had you craving for more even as butterflies exploded in your stomach and fire rushed over your skin. But you didn’t want to push it. You simply adjusted your lips to overlap better onto his and put your hands on his hips to hold him close.

* After a few seconds, Chrome leaned back with an entirely red face. “Baaaddddd,” he breathed. That had been enlightening. And soft. And pleasurable. Okay yeah, you weren’t just a best friend anymore. If it meant you would look at him like this, wide-eyed and giddy and hungry for more, he wanted to keep kissing you.

* Your hands squeezed his hips nervously, fingers a fluttering pressure on his flesh. “Practice for Ruri?” You asked in the small distance between your mouth and his.

* “Not Ruri,” he said distractedly. His eyes were still dazed and drinking in the tempting picture you made. “I want to kiss you.”

* And your mouth curled up into a pleased grin, looking hard to resist. So he didn’t.

#dr stone imagines #chrome x reader #basil writes #dr stone x reader #chrome #dr stone

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celestep · 3 years

Text

okay I found an older snippet and I may be considering...writing again??

If I do write more, I think it would have to be AU but here's an older snippet that is not!

Note: Even though this is a Jily snippet, it's a convo between Lily and Sirius

“Oi! Evans!”

Lily hardly registered the sound of her name. She had been in a terrible fog recently, and the lack of sleep certainly wasn’t helping.

“Evans! Lily Evans!”

She stopped walking and turned to see Sirius Black jogging towards her.

“Something I can do for you, Black?” She asked flatly.

“What are you up to right now?” He asked, by way of answering her question.

“Er, free period. Was going to try to catch up on reading for Charms...”

“You mean, like you tried to this morning before breakfast? I’m pretty sure you spent an hour on the same paragraph.”

“Did Potter tell you that? Or has watching me silently become a group activity?”

“James will be delighted and embarrassed to know you’ve clocked that, so cheers. I’d be happy to make the case for my best mate and to explain his creepy new choice of courtship, but that’s not why I’m here.” Sirius rattled off, smirking.

“Oh? And why are you here?” Lily asked, slightly exasperated.

“You need to have a laugh with a mate. Or a deep conversation with a mate. Whatever you want, really. I just know you’ve been a real mess lately,” he paused slightly, perhaps expecting a telling off. All he got was a slight shrug of agreement from Lily. “And I know what it’s like, being a real mess. And I know that what you need is to spend your free period with a mate.”

“And have you brought me one? Perhaps your best mate?”

“Ah no, James would be rubbish right now. We voted and your mate is me!”

“You. You, Sirius Black, are going to pal around with me?” Lily asked, cocking an eyebrow. “You are aware we hardly speak, aren’t you, Black?”

“Yes, yes, that point was made. I certainly thought Remus would be the clear choice, but it was an unanimous decision by the end. We were meant to be friends, Evans.”

“Oh, really?” Lily asked, putting her book in her bag. “Also...unanimous? Remus voted? For you?”

“Once again, I, too, was surprised, but now you’re stuck with me, Evans. So you should decide what you’re more in the mood for, complete distraction or deep conversation?”

“Is my Charms reading an option?”

“Nope!” Sirius said grinning. “Although we could flip a coin, if you’re terribly torn.”

“Ah, tempting. But no, I suppose I pick deep conversation, as I hardly trust whatever you have up your sleeve as a distraction. Although, if we’re to have a deep conversation, may I request a butter beer, or perhaps something stiffer.”

“Miss Evans!” Sirius gasped in mock indignation. “I am shocked that you would dare ingest alcohol before classes are done for the day.”

“I mean, I only have history of magic left. While I usually wouldn't, I hardly feel that sobriety is crucial. If anything, being a little tipsy might make class slightly more interesting.”

“Positively scandalous.” Sirius said, grinning at her. She smiled back despite herself. “Lucky for you, Miss Prefect, I happen to have a wee bit of fire whiskey on me at the moment.”

He reached into his rucksack and paused for a moment, staring hard at Lily.

“This isn’t some trick where you’ll write me up after, is it?”

“No,” Lily smiled again. “Although I reserve the right to write you up depending on how this goes.”

“Ah, fair enough. No faith in me whatsoever.”

“Not no faith. Just well-informed faith. Faith on top of a first-hand knowledge of your previous behavior.” Lily teased.

“Yes, yes. I’ve been very bad. I’m well aware.” Sirius said, handing a flask over to Lily. The flask had been a Christmas present from Peter and Sirius had taken to carrying it everywhere, although this was the first time in months he’d actually broken it out to drink. Lily took a long swig and made a scrunched up face.

“Oh, Merlin,” she sputtered, passing the flask back. Sirius took a drink and, to Lily’s enjoyment, made an equally silly face. He passed it back to her and they walked out to the courtyard together, passing the flask back and forth and laughing at each other’s attempts to drink with any dignity.

“Okay. So what’s been going on with you lately?” Sirius asked, offering her the final sip from the flask. He watched as she took the flask and paused, sighing deeply before throwing her head back to finish the drink off. She cringed and shook her head.

“Where to start?” She asked, laughing drily. “Er, well. I have no friends. Well, you know that or you wouldn’t be here.”

Sirius thought about jumping in to contradict her but decided to wait and see if she’d keep talking.

“Let’s see, my sister hates me. I’m absolute crap at transfiguration. And our world seems to be pretty much headed into straight out war, so there’s that.”

Sirius nodded and looked at her. “Okay,” he said. “Now, some of that is definitely true. But, and I mean this with the utmost deference to your own experience, you know some of that is total rubbish.”

“We are definitely heading into a war-“

“Oh, yeah, that’s true.” Sirius said. “Sorry, I’ll clarify. You do have friends, although I will concede that you’ve lost your best mate, and that - despite my...opinion of him - is bloody awful. And you’re not absolute crap at Transfiguration.”

Lily laughed a little, in spite of herself. She looked down and asked quietly, “It is bloody awful.”

Sirius simply nodded and waited. She was amazed at how easy it was to talk to him and felt that it couldn’t be solely due to the fire whiskey.

“Don’t get me wrong, I don’t regret cutting ties with him. I don’t care how shit the two of you can be to him, no amount of provocation should have made him say what he said. And we’re not going to be in school much longer - soon the sides we’ve picked aren’t just about who we sit with, they’re life or death. Especially for me.” She sat in silence for a moment. “And it wasn’t a healthy relationship. Not for a long time. You know, he always made me feel a little foolish for wanting to be friends with anyone in Gryffindor. It’s why - you’re wrong, you know. Alice and Mary and Marlene and all them, they aren’t my friends. I mean, I like them and they like me but they’re a group. They’re friends and I’m just... there.”

“To mimic my best mate for a moment, you, Lily Evans, are never just there. You may not be close with them but everyone wants to be friends with you. You’re almost irritatingly likable. They’ve just been waiting for you to ask.”

“My goodness. Sirius Black, that sounded like a compliment.”

“Eh, you don’t spend as much time with James as I do and not wind up with some favorable opinions of you. And, er, if you don’t mind my saying so, he’s a pretty clear solution to your transfiguration problem. He’s top in the year there and a pretty good teacher as long as you can keep him in line, which obviously you have no issue with.”

“Well yes, I did think about asking Potter but he’s been - as I mentioned before - rather quiet lately. He, er.... he stares quite a bit. But he hasn’t spoken to me since, well, last year at the lake.”

Lily glanced at Sirius to see if she could read his expression. She hadn’t meant to broach the subject but she felt as though Potter was scared of her. While she certainly didn’t miss his constant badgering for her to go out with him, she didn’t enjoy this other extreme. James was in every class with her and best friends with one of the few people she felt remotely close to anymore. Two of them, now, I suppose, She thought to herself. Sirius seemed to be debating saying something. Lily shook her head lightly.

“They’ve just been waiting for me to ask? What does that mean? I just walk up to Mary MacDonald and say, ‘Hullo there, Mary. I’m finally ready to be close with you all. You may welcome me into your friend group now’?”

Sirius laughed “Well first of all, I’d lead with McKinnon. I’d say you could probably lose the speech and maybe, I dunno, just sit with her in Potions.”

“Sit with Marlene in Potions.”

“Yeah, well. I happen to know that Marlene is a bit desperate for a new Potions partner. That’s one of the classes Mary and Alice are partners for. Marlene used to sit with Worthington, but he’s started seeing that other Ravenclaw, Florence something, so now they want to sit together. But Marlene doesn’t want to get stuck with anyone who’s naff at Potions.”

Lily blinked. “I didn’t realize there was so much to know about our seating in Potions. How do you know all this?”

“Partially because I get bored easily, partially because Marlene and I have gotten a bit, er, closer recently.”

“Ah, I see.” Lily grinned. “And why haven’t you partnered up with her, then?”

“As I said,” Sirius grinned back. “She doesn’t want someone who’s naff at Potions. I’m easily distracted. She likes to actually, you know, work. Like a certain swotty Prefect I know...” He waggled his eyebrows at Lily and she smiled.

“All right. I’ll sit with Marlene in Potions.”

“Excellent. One problem solved.”

“Indeed.”

“Now I don’t know much about your sister,” Sirius said, changing the subject and leaning against the nearest arch. Lily was a bit surprised that he’d circled back to her family before the unfinished discussion of James Potter. “But I do know a lot about hateful family members. So while I can’t necessarily fix this one, I can at least commiserate.”

“Ah, yes. Of course that’s why Remus voted for you.”

“It certainly was.”

“Remus always says an unsolvable problem is only tolerable with company. And I know how frustrating he finds venting to someone who can’t, er, fully relate. I think he once said ‘empathy can only go so far’ on a particularly snippy day.”

“Ah,” Sirius said, narrowing his eyes for a moment. Lily realized he was trying to suss out how much she knew about Remus.

“Though I imagine it’s a little easier to find someone else with a contentious family life than someone who could, you know, fully relate to Remus.”

“So you do know.” Sirius said, suddenly a little uncertain and untrusting. “Snape told you, I suppose?”

“Oh I guessed long before and, to be fair, he never actually confirmed it. I was sure you all knew I knew!”

“You guessed it?” Sirius sounded half impressed, half terrified.

“Don’t worry, I truly don’t think anyone else has. It took Sev forever to get there and he was working at it for ages. Although I will admit he may have gotten it a bit faster had I not been throwing him off course a bit. But still,” she continued, eager to reassure Sirius, “I have never heard anyone else so much as suspect. Most people just feel badly about his mum and don’t want to bring it up. Right clever choice If you ask me.”

“How did you guess? When did you guess? And why on earth would you think we knew?” Sirius sputtered.

“To answer your first two questions, I had a bit of a crush on Remus during fourth year. We sat together in Ancient Runes, and we studied together,” she found herself blushing slightly even though she hadn’t fancied Remus in years. Sirius looked deeply amused but mostly still focused on how she uncovered such a secret. “And, as I was perhaps a tad more focused on him, I noticed that his mum’s illness always lined up with the full moon. And then I noticed a new scar and put together a pretty good guess. I wasn’t quite certain until fifth year, because we do our rounds together. He was always weak and sick before the moon and often injured after. And I assumed you knew because I cover for him whenever the full moon comes up. I mean, I didn’t think you all thought I was suddenly happy to lie to McGonagall and Dumbledore for no reason.”

“Er, no. I mean, I suppose Remus was a little surprised at first but then James wouldn’t shut up about how ‘of course you’d cover because you’re a great friend and how lucky Remus was to have you as a friend and on and on’ so we just never brought it up again.”

Lily blushed a little again, and prayed Sirius didn’t notice. He did.

#jily #snippet

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originalhybridloverfics · 3 years

Text

You Are To This Day The Only Woman I Have Ever Loved - CH 2

A/N: I'm a little nervous about this chapter, still, I hope it's enjoyable.

I apologize for any mistakes or medical inaccuracies.

Serkan could not explain the sense of urgency, of panic creeping over him. His heart felt like it was going to beat right out his chest, his throat kept closing and he had this explicable fear flowing through his system and he could think of nothing but Eda.

She had to be okay. He had gotten to know her and God, she was amazing. She was fun, beautiful, talented, smart, funny, caring, forgiving, the list went on. She was so many things and he found he cared for her deeply. He couldn’t imagine something happening to her. Hadn’t she suffered enough?

He parked his car and jogged across the hospital parking lot and ran through the doors, and up to the counter, he was about to demand where Eda was when he heard Melek’s voice.

He whirled around, Melo had tears streaming down her eyes, her body shaking as she stood in front of Eda’s aunt who was in tears her arms wrapped around herself.

He noticed the blood on Melo's hand. His stomach turned violently with the knowledge it was Eda's blood.

“I don’t know how long she was there!” Melo cried. “If I have gotten there sooner, if I had just met her there-”

“You couldn’t have changed what happened,” Ceren was with them and her words were spoken softly. “Sometimes bad things just happen.”

Serkan moved away from the counter and walked closer to Eda’s family his heart in his throat.

“But why do they keep happening to Dada?!” Melo cried distressed. “This shouldn’t be happening. Dada doesn’t deserve this! And even if she makes it she could still lose the baby!”

“Baby?” Serkan’s voice shook, his heart thudding in his chest. “What baby!?”

Melo whirled around, her eyes widening at the sight of him. “Eniste?”

Despite Eda and Serkan not being together, she continued to call him that. Serkan would never admit it out loud but he liked it. She was just so happy and sweet and he liked her as a person.

“What baby? Where’s Eda?” he asked, his voice shaking.

“She’s with the doctors,” Ayfer answered. “They're doing everything they can for her and the baby.”

“She’s pregnant with my child?” Serkan asked but didn’t need the confirmation. Everything inside of him was screaming that he and Eda created that child together before he lost his memory.

“Oh, God,” Serkan groaned, he clutched at his heart as it pounded almost painfully against his ribs, he stumbled back, his feet feeling unsteady beneath him.

Melo acted quickly grabbing his arm to steady him and led him over to a chair, easing him into it.

"Abi," Engin appeared suddenly with Piril. Serkan hadn't even seen them.

Serkan stared off unseeingly not noticing Leyla and Erdem in the corner, somber. He couldn't see anyone.

“Serkan?” Ceren asked as she moved closer with Ayfer.

Serkan didn’t react, didn’t move, didn’t flinch.

Melo placed her hand on his shoulder gently, squeezing and his eyes snapped up to hers. They were wide with shock and fear. “Are you okay?” she asked.

“No,” Serkan’s voice shook. “No, I am not okay? How could she had not have said anything?”

“I don’t think she knew?” Melo confessed. “She’s been so stressed and so focused on taking care of the company and trying to get you to remember, dealing with Selin, she forgot to care for herself.”

Serkan ran a shaky hand through his hair. “None of this is right. This shouldn’t be happening. None of it.”

Serkan knew he cared for Eda but this feeling in his chest was saying it was more than that and now all he could see was her. S child in her arms with her dimples and her smile and her eyes. God, he wanted their child to be just like her.

Everything was slipping away from him right when he wanted to know everything about his lost year. Pieces of his old life were in his reach and he wanted nothing more than to put it all back together again.

Everything was so wrong. He could feel it in every bone in his body. He wishes it was him who was in danger right now, whose life was hanging in the balance. He rather Eda be unharmed and perfectly fine, healthy, nurturing their child.

Why couldn’t it have been him? Hadn’t she been through enough? Hadn’t he caused her enough pain?

How much more could one person endure?

It was two hours later when a doctor emerged from behind two double doors, walking toward Melo. “Mrs. Yildiz family.”

“Yes,” Ayfer said. “We are her family. Is she going to be okay?”

“I am Dr. Kaya. We are doing everything we can. We were able to stop the bleeding, we had to take her for emergency surgery for her open fracture. It was important to clean and stabilize the bone. The kind of fraction Mrs. Yildiz has can get infected easily but because of her pregnancy, we had to give her a not as effective antibiotic that won’t cause harm to the baby.”

“Baby?” Aydan gasped, grabbing a hold of her son’s arm. She and Seyfi along with Selin had shown up twenty minutes after he did.

Serkan felt Selin tensed beside him. “She’s pregnant?”

Serkan ignored everyone and focused on Dr. Kaya. “Does that mean she didn’t lose the baby?”

“I don’t know how it’s possible but no, she didn’t lose the baby. The bleeding that occurred was because the baby was in distress but both Eda and the baby are stable for now. I’m concerned about her head injury, she has some swelling on the brain, if it does not go down I’m afraid she will need to be taken into surgery again.”

“Can I see her?” Serkan asked.

“Serkan, I think it’s best we let Eda be with her family,” Selin interjected, placing a hand on his arm.

Serkan jerked his arm from beneath her fingers, shooting her a glare. “I need to see her.”

“Is she awake?” Ayfer interjected.

“No, and we’re not sure when she will wake. It’s all up to her.” Dr. Kaya relayed.

“Can I see her or not?” Serkan asked impatiently, choosing not to acknowledge his words. Eda would wake up. She had to. There was no other outcome that Serkan would accept.

Dr. Kaya looked at Ayfer. “Mrs. Yildiz?”

“It’s okay. He can see her first.” Ayfer nodded.

Dr. Kaya motioned Serkan to follow him.

Selin’s hand snapped out the second he moved away from her, her fingers digging into his wrist. “Serkan, you should let Ms.Yildiz see her first. She’s her family. We should go home.”

Serkan ripped his arm away. “If you want to go then go but you will be leaving without me.”

Selin watched as he walked away from her and toward Eda with no regard for how she felt. He didn’t even stop once to look back at her.

Hate simmered in her heart. She should feel remorse for hurting Eda and her unborn child but all she felt was failure. Failure to keep Serkan at her side and failure at getting Eda out of her life and away from Serkan.

Selin turned on her heel. She needed to find a way to end Eda once and for all, sever every connection the other woman had to Serkan once and for all.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Serkan wasn’t sure what he expected when he walked into the hospital but it wasn’t this.

It wasn’t Eda, laying in bed hooked up to monitors, her head wrapped in a bandage, her arm in a cast, her skin pale, the room around her void of her light, of the beautiful colorful essence that she excluded from her being effortlessly, offering hope to a troubled world.

He stepped forward slowly. His heart thudding in his chest. “Eda, I’m sorry but please, wake up.” his eyes drifted to her stomach and his hand moved before he registered it, landing softly on her stomach. It was mostly flat with a small curve, barely noticeable unless you knew what you were looking for. “We have so much to talk about. I don’t know if you knew or not but I think I can understand if you did and why you wouldn’t say anything.”

His other hand moved to her cheek. “I haven’t been the man you fell in love with. Or the one you lost but still you tried to bring him back, bring me back, and I pushed you away with cruelty and harsh words. I’m sorry.”

He paused, gathering his thought, his chest tight with a feeling he was beginning to understand. “I should have tried harder to remember. Hell, I should have tried period with you, I hated that everything was different from what I remembered so I ran from it and from you and the way you make me feel. It was a mistake. I know that so let me fix it. Just wake up when you’re ready and we will work this out. All of it. The company, the shares, the baby, you and me, all of it.”

Eda didn’t move, didn’t react, the readings on the monitors didn’t change and Serkan felt his world grow a little darker, he stepped back reluctantly and walked out of the room even though it was the last thing he wanted. Every step away from her felt wrong but her aunt was waiting. Her friends were waiting and in truth, he didn’t feel like he deserved to be at her side.

He needed to earn that right and since he been back he had done nothing to do that.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

The hour grew late, Serkan had refused to leave the hospital throwing around his wealth and reputation to ensure he or Eda’s family didn’t have to leave when visiting hours were over.

His mother had gone home with Seyfi after making him promise to call when Eda wakes up. Layla and Erdem left, Layla assuring him she would take care of his schedule. Engin took Piril home to rest. Ceren and Melo fell asleep in the chairs in the waiting room. Ayfer was inside with Eda.

Serkan paced outside the door, feeling restless. Selin went to get coffee. She kept insisting they should go but he refused. Selin went as far as to bring up that he had to be at the office but he reminded her that Layla was taking care of it.

Like hell he was going to work when Eda was hurt, fighting for her life. No, this is where he needed to be. Everything inside of him was telling him he shouldn’t be anywhere else but at her side.

He selfishly wanted to be the first person she saw when she woke up and despite all that had happened, that he said, he wanted to be the one she asked for.

At one point, he finally just slid down to the floor, facing Eda’s door, praying that she would be fine.

Serkan wasn’t sure at what point he fell asleep but he was awoken by commotion.

His eyes snapped up to the sight of Ayfer being ushered out of Eda’s room and doctors and nurses rushing inside. Serkan jumped to his feet pushing his way inside and coming to a dead stop.

Eda was flatlining, he stumbled forward but was pulled back.

“Get off me!” he snapped. Trying to shrug the strong arm off of him. “Eda!”

The arms tightened and pulled him forcefully from the room and all he could hear was the long beep, never-ending, all he could see was the doctors working over Eda, her dark hair fanning out across the pillow.

It happened suddenly and without warning.

One moment he was standing in the doorway of Eda’s hospital room and the next it was like he was being transported to a time he didn’t remember, to a memory his brian had locked away from him.

He was talking at a college seminar and a beautiful dark-haired woman walked down the steps and into the light. He was intrigued instantly.

He was pulled into another memory, Eda marking his car, arguing with her, Eda handcuffing him.

His head felt like it was going to explode, there was this pressure behind his eyes and he closed them tightly, putting a hand to his head as memory after memory hit him.

Eda surprising him with her skills behind the wheel, the first time she called him a robot. Helping her through her panic attack on his plane, waking her up on the beach, and the way she smiled at him so sweetly. His idea for her to pretend to be his fake fiance. The first time she slapped him. The first time she kissed him.

God, he never told her but that kiss was unlike any kiss he ever had before. He was so angry at her for it because it shocked him. His world had turned on its axis.

Eda agreeing to his contract and wrongfully assuming it was because he wanted Selin back.

It was never about Selin.

The first time he picked her up, the first time he took her to his place and her clear love for animals, the first time she met Sirius.

He remembered the first time he slipped her flower engagement finger on her hand for the first time and how right it felt. How perfect it fit.

Their fake engagement, seeing her in that yellow dress for the first time. She had looked so perfect and he felt so drawn to her, the softness of her skin when he fixed the strap of her dress. Her pure delight at his magic trick. Their first dance. There was no need to dance as close as they did but he wanted to. He wanted to be as close to her as possible.

The first time they stargazed together and he pointed out Sirius's star. He remembered the way being around her made him feel that night. He felt peace and a sense of calmness he wasn’t used to.

He remembered being angry with her for getting close to him, he didn’t want to feel this way but he hated when she pulled away from him. He remembered coming to her house with Sirius for the first time.

He remembers them talking about Selin being jealous of her and God, everyone had to be jealous of Eda. She was an angel by some miracle that had fallen into his life.

He remembers riding with her in his car, the top-down, music playing from the radio, her dancing to the music singing along, her hair blowing in the wind, her smile wide and carefree. The happiness he felt in that moment just being with her.

The first time she suddenly lost consciousness and the fear he felt. It was such a strange trait about her and constantly worried him.

The first time he saw her in her swimwear, the irrational jealousy he felt, hearing that he wasn’t her type from Seyfi and then trying hard to subtly show her that he was.

The first time he prepared dinner with her.

It was something so simple and domestic but he thoroughly enjoyed himself. There was just something so easy being in Eda’s presence.

God, he remembered that white dress she wore to the dinner they had with Selin and Ferit, when he saw her in it for the first time, god, it was like all thoughts left him and there was just her. The most beautiful vision he ever saw in his life.

The fear that took over when he saw her slip into the pool when he was still under the impression he couldn’t swim, nothing else mattered only to learn that she was pretending not to be able to swim.

God, she really knew how to drive him crazy.

Their time in Antalya was some of his best memories and held a special place in his heart. He felt that trip had really brought them closer in a way he hadn’t been aware he was capable of.

He remembered opening up to her about his brother.

It was the first time he really felt like he could open up to someone about his brother’s death and how that grief was still with him even to this day.

Waking up to her snuggled against on the couch, the peace and happiness he felt, the way his heart reacted around her, trying to beat right out of his damn chest at her proximity.

The first time he played his guitar for her, the hug they shared outside, he felt like his chest was expanding with the warmth he felt. Her pure joy and elation when he gave her his guitar pick at the end of the night.

He knew he had feelings for her but after that night he knew it was more than that, even if he didn’t want to admit it.

He remembered how bad it felt when she was pulling away from him on his birthday. He remembered sitting down with Selin and hating every moment, he remembered sitting down with Eda at one of her small cafes and the surprise on her face. He remembered her gift. She gave him the world.

Little did she know she was his world.

He remembered accusing her of stealing.

It was stupid but he was trying to rationalize why she was avoiding him. He had never been more wrong.

The way he missed her in their time apart even when he was wrongfully angry with her for a betrayal she did not commit.

When they sat in the park together, discussing Selin and her jealousy of Eda.

He didn’t say it but there was not a single thing about Eda, Selin shouldn't be jealous of. Eda was unlike any woman he had ever known. And when she said he didn’t want her touching his soul, it was true but it was too late. She already did.

The regret he felt even before she brought proof that Kaan was behind it. The pain he felt watching her slip off her ring and place it in his hand.

The need he felt to fix things with her, needing her back.

All of this became so real to him. For him, it was no longer about their contract and more about wanting her in his life.

Finding her in the garden talking to flowers brought happiness to him that he wanted to hold onto.

He remembered handcuffing her and taking her up to one of his family's vacation homes, letting her vent her anger by throwing things, her astonishment that he was able to get them out of the cuffs the whole time.

He remembered arguing with her in the rain and the sight she made, clothes drenched, damp hair clinging to her, raindrops running down her skin, the fire in her eyes, when he pulled her to him. He wanted to take hold of her mouth with his own.

He wanted to taste her, wanted to feel her wet skin against his, wanted to bury his hand in the wet strands of her hair. He just wanted her. Everything she had to give, he wanted.

Waking up to her next to him in bed was more than he could say. She was always so cute when she first woke up.

Watching the video of her helping his mother broke through what walls he still had up. She was an angel in his life that he didn’t deserve.

It was surprising that all she wanted was a simple apology.

Nothing felt more right than slipping her ring back on her finger. He wanted it there always.

Then Selin had to come in and give him the panic of his life by speeding up the time for her wedding and cutting his time with Eda short.

He wanted her with him all the time.

Seeing Eda try on wedding dresses that were so her, she was so beautiful, so original. She was going to be the perfect bride one day.

He remembered first hearing about her parent's death, the cause for her claustrophobia, and wrapping his arms around her, allowing her to cry on his shoulder. He wanted nothing more than to help her with her phobia the way she was helping his mom.

Sometimes he didn’t understand her, she was so talented and beautiful and smart so why couldn’t she see that it was never about Selin. He never cared that Selin was getting married, it had always been about her shares. Why was she unable to see he only had eyes for her?

He remembered Selin asking him to choose and it was an impossible notion to him because it was never a choice. It was always going to be Eda. His heart knew no other answer.

He couldn’t bring himself to say goodbye to her and he needed her to stay but he didn’t know how to put it into words.

He remembered panicking about her leaving his life to the point it made him sick, that night she took care of him was one of the best nights of his life.

He was kidding himself thinking he could let her go. He had never felt freer than when he finally told her he was in love with her. A weight lifted off his chest when he kissed her and the looked in her eyes after had his heart soaring.

He remembered the first time they went to their cafe and the peace and the happiness he felt there with her.

He remembered, sneaking around because they hadn’t told anyone they were together and were avoiding his mother and her aunt and their disapproval.

He remembered talking to Selin about his feelings for Eda, Selin telling him she always dreamed he would be the way he was with Eda with her, he remembers her accepting that while she loved him he did not feel the same.

Or at least at the time, he believed she had accepted he was in love with Eda and moved on with her life.

He remembered cooking dinner with Eda, watching the stars, cuddling on the couch, he remembered giving her his gift. Her star and how much she loved it. The joy and happiness that filled his heart made him feel like anything was possible.

He remembered the way Eda looked on Selin’s wedding day. She completely outshines the bride, he hated that he couldn’t touch her, hug her, kiss her. It was a crime.

He remembered the jealousy he felt when Efe showed up.

He wanted to keep Eda all to himself but he also wanted to tell everyone about them. He didn’t want to have to hide how he felt about her when his feelings for her were the truest thing he has ever felt in his life.

He remembered how free it felt when everyone did know.

He remembered buying a house in Italy and making plans to opening up a branch there.

He wanted to follow her to Italy. He wanted her to follow her dreams and he wanted to support her, he wanted to share in her success and joy. He wanted her to have everything she wanted in life and he wanted that life to be with him.

He wanted to just leave with her. It didn’t matter where they went as long as they were together. He wanted to run away with her and leave everything but their love behind.

He remembered their first time together and how perfect it felt.

They were connected in every way imaginable and he couldn’t even think about ever being apart from her.

He remembered telling her about the house, he bought and his intention to go with her to Italy. She was so happy and it made him happy.

This was what love was feeling joy at someone else's happiness and giving without wanting anything in return.

He remembered his father blowing up his world when he revealed he had a part to play in Eda’s parent's death. The truth tore Serkan apart, shattering him into pieces.

He saw his life with Eda, all his plans for their future slipping through his fingers and there was nothing. Absolutely, nothing he could do to change it.

He couldn’t change the past. He couldn’t fix his father’s mistakes.

His father ruined every hope and dream he had for his future with Eda.

He remembered coming to the decision to end their relationship to protect her. It was the hardest thing he had to do and he hated the pain he caused her but at the time he was under the belief that he was doing right by her.

If she were to find out the truth he would only be a constant reminder of all that she lost. She would never heal or move on and be happy and that couldn’t happen. Her happiness was more important than his own.

It was hell being apart from her and watching her grow close with Efe.

He remembered the fear he felt when he found her unconscious in the ditch during the company retreat. When she woke up without remembering their break-up it was a short reprieve from the hell his father had forced on him until she remembered.

Going back to his vacation home was a new kind of hell, constantly hit with the reminder of their first time there together. The first time they made love, cuddling together in bed afterward, having breakfast together, the way she looks in his shirt. It was one of the happiest days of his life.

He remembered when Eda asked him to tell her his happiest day. There wasn’t enough time for that. Every day spent with her was his happiest day. When she asked him to tell her about his saddest day, he knew he couldn’t. He couldn’t break her the way the truth broke him.

He remembered dancing with her on Piril’s birthday. The desire in her eyes as they danced close, the need he felt to be even closer.

He remembered when he thought she was pregnant. There was a fear and a sense of responsibility, and panic. Seeing Eda, holding little Serkan though was a sweet sight. She was such a natural. She was going to be an amazing mother but he wasn’t ready for it then.

They weren’t even together, currently and she was pregnant. How could he ask her to build a family with him when he destroyed hers? How would he tell his children that their grandfather from his side of the family is why their mother grew up without her parents, why they would never meet their other grandparents.

He remembered how much she believed him after the roof collapsed. She believed in him more than he believed in himself.

He remembered not understanding what her problem was with Selin, why she was so threatened by her. Selin meant nothing. He never loved her as to where she was concerned she meant everything to him.

He never loved anyone the way he loved her and he was sure he would never again.

He remembered her being the cause for his mother finally being able to go outside again. She gave him a miracle and she did it just to be her. To help. She was too good for him and his family didn’t deserve her.

He remembered the fear that she would start to move on from him. That she would fall in love with someone else.

He remembered finally coming to the decision to tell her the truth and let her make the decision about him.

He remembered getting drunk and only wanting Eda, watching her sleep the next morning and he remembered Selin ruining everything by telling Eda the truth about her parent's death.

Her pain and tears tore into his soul. He hated that she questioned if he ever really loved her. He will always love her with every nerve, every cell, and molecule, in his body.

He remembered the mistake he made in not telling her the truth. He broke her trust.

He remembered tearing into Selin for interfering in matters that did not concern her, for constantly involving herself in his personal life. He remembered telling her that he never loved her and was in love with Eda.

He remembered not even reading Eda's contract before signing, he could have been signing everything over to her and he wouldn’t have cared as long as she remained in his life, as long as she forgave him.

He remembered when she removed her ring and had him do the same. It had gone against everything inside of him. That ring had become a part of who he was.

The rules of her contract were ridiculous to him but he would follow them as much as he could to keep her with him.

He remembered seeing her model that dress for his mother's foundation and God, she almost stopped his heart she was so fucking gorgeous and perfect.

He remembered asking her to meet him and waiting for her, the ache in his chest when she never showed but he was unwilling to give up on her.

He remembered his jealousy about her spending time with the photographer and warning the man away from her. Eda was a taken woman and he had no intentions of giving her up.

He remembered finding out the switch of address in the invitation he had given her and that Eda had waited for him as he waited for her. He had his suspicions of who tampered with the invitation.

He remembered trying to help her with her phobia as they rode an elevator together, holding her close, breathing her in, feeling her heart against his, kissing her. Everything had fallen away and it was just the two of them.

He remembered finding out about Eda knowing about Ferfit, Selin, and Kaan’s involvement in their contract being released to the public. He couldn’t even bring himself to be mad at her for keeping it from him.

He remembered testing if she was jealous of him.

He remembered when they did pottery together, his arms around her, breathing in her neck, wanting to just stay like that forever if it meant she would always allow him this close.

He remembered about their competition about Bulga being into him.

Serkan wasn’t an idiot he knew the woman was attracted to him but he didn’t care. She had no chance. He only wanted one woman and that woman was Eda Yildiz. There was absolutely no reason for his fairy girl to be jealous.

He remembered intentionally seducing her when he spoke to her of feeling her tremble when she said his name, the desire in her eyes, the way she lost her breath, and how she said his name. Almost sounding like a plea. It was everything.

He remembered her aunt's birthday, ice skating, the way her body heated when he spoke french to her, laughing and practically dancing on the ice, snow falling around them.

He remembered trying to soothe her anger when her grandmother came to the company. He called her Eda Bolat.

It had such an amazing ring to it. Perfect. He wanted her to be a Bolat. He wanted her to be his wife.

He remembered the awful feeling of Eda keeping him at a distance and letting him go like he was so easily replaceable in her life. She meant everything to him. Didn’t she feel the same about him but if she did why was it so easy for her to let him go?

He remembered Eda staying over, walking in on her in the bath and needing to imprint the moment on his memory, Eda talking to that stupid statue Bulga gave him. He tried not to focus on her because he was uncertain if he would be able to keep his hands off her. He brought her breakfast in bed because she deserved that. She deserved to be treated like the Queen that she is.

He remembered having a special bracelet made for her after hearing the story of the bracelet she lost when she was a little girl, the smile on her face when she opened the present was more than he could’ve hoped for only made better when she embraced him.

After he was arrested and released her avoidance of him was so painful, made worse when she told him they could not be together and he wondered was this how she felt when he ended things between them? It was like his soul was poisoned and slowly dying.

He couldn’t take seeing her with Prince Seyman, right after. But he wasn’t the only one who was jealous so was she and it all came to a boiling point when they confessed to it.

There was nothing about that night he didn’t remember, each stating their claim on the other, practically ripping each other clothes off and finding themselves nearly fucking against the bookshelf before finding a bed and making love to each other's bodies, caressing and worshipping. Kisses that had toes curling and desire becoming their only concern, finding relief in each other.

He woke up alone and half thought he had dreamed their night of passionate sex but then there was the knocked-over lamp, tangled sheets, and her scent in the air. That scent that never failed to do things to him.

He remembered the astonishment when she surprised him on his plane and the joy when she proposed to him. He said yes, of course, it was the only answer he could give, it was all he ever wanted. He remembered discussing Paris right after and all the things he wanted to do with her but he seriously doubts that if they ever made it to Paris they would leave their hotel room.

He remembered playing the piano for her and proposing to her. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with her, he wanted to give everything and more and he wanted to be able to tell his children how much their father loves their mother.

He remembered their real engagement party and how chaotic it was but he was happy to have their marriage accepted by their family. The fear and anger he felt when that prince bastard thought he could kidnap her, the feel of her in his arms after was the only thing that could calm him.

He remembered the awful misunderstanding about postponing the wedding, believing Eda was having second thoughts about building a life with him.

He remembered their time in Spanca, it was the best trip he had since their first trip together. Eda joining him in the tub was the best way to end his night, followed by amazing shower sex and making love to her in silk sheets, whispering sweet words and I love you’s.

He remembered walking into her dressing room the day of their wedding. She was standing in front of the mirror in a silk robe. He came there to tell her he had to go and sign some papers but he would be back. He made a promise that he would always fall in love with her.

He never should have left that day. He should have insisted on signing the documents electronically. He should have married her that day and taken her to Paris for their honeymoon.

He should have taken her away just the two of them for months on end. They should have made memories together and traveled the world, and practice building their family. God, there were so many things they should have done if only he had chosen differently.

If only he hadn’t put work first before what was supposed to be the start of their new life together.

He remembered when the plane went down, he was on his way back home to her. He was eager to marry her. He wanted to be able to wake up next to her and call her his wife. He remembered the fear and the panic as the plane lost control and was heading for the ocean.

The panic that the life he dreamt of was going to be ripped away from him.

The fear wasn’t for himself. It was for Eda. Never being able to see her again, feel her touch, the warmth of her skin, her sweet smell, the sound of her voice.

The pain she would feel if he were to die. He never wanted the memory of him to haunt her. He wanted her happy living her best life. He wanted her to take the world by storm and do what she did for him. Bless the world with all the color she could and ultimately her goodness and beauty and intelligence. He wanted nothing holding her back not even the loss of him.

And now remembering everything, their love, her and then remembering how terrible he was to her when he first came back. He was cruel and mean and harsh and he wanted to kick his own ass.

He caused Eda pain, he was the cause of her tears, he pushed her away and made her feel less than she was. He belittled their story and the importance she was to him.

What the hell was wrong with him? He lost his memory but he was not this person to her not even when they first met.

And now she was laying in a hospital bed fighting for her life and the life of their child, believing he didn’t love her.

She was wrong. He loved her. He kept his promise he loved her without his memories and now with them, he still loved her. He loved her in a way he didn’t know was possible.

If she didn’t make it, if their child didn’t make it, he wouldn’t be able to go on. He could never forgive himself. This was all his fault.

Serkan stumbled back crashing against the wall, his legs giving out on him, tears streamed down his face.

His heart hurt and he couldn’t breathe.

“Serkan!” He felt hands on his face but he couldn’t see anything beyond the image of Eda fighting for her life.

“Eda,” he whispered hoarsely. “Eda, I need Eda.”

“Serkan, I can’t make out what you are saying. Calm down. Everything is going to be okay.”

“No, I won’t.” Serkan dug his palm into his eyes and roughly wiped his tears away. “Nothing is going to be okay again if she’s not.”

Serkan looked up at Selin and his expression darkened. “Don’t touch me.”

Suddenly the commotion in Eda’s room died down and Dr. Kaya stepped out.

Serkan pushed to his feet moving away from Selin. Melo and Ayfer were already there. “Eda?” Serkan's voice was desperate. “Is she okay? Is the baby?”

“It’s too early to tell. We’re not sure exactly what happened. It’s possible she had a bad reaction to the medicine she was given. We need to run more test to be certain? We don’t know what damage was done to her or the baby.”

“Do it. Do whatever you have to,” Serkan said and the doctor nodded.

Selin seethed inside. She needed this to be done. Eda was ruining everything and now she was fucking pregnant with Serkan’s child. That should be her. Eda had continuously taken everything from her from the day Serkan introduced her as the love of his life.

She stoled Serkan from her. He was her’s. He had been for years. She broke up with him because he wouldn’t share his life with her. She agreed to marry Ferit to show Serkan what he lost but no, he had to go and find Eda and the best version of himself.

He was everything she wanted when he was with Eda, kind, caring, thoughtful, affectionate, loving but with her, he was a passionless man who only looked at her through calculating eyes. Not eyes of love and admiration.

She took Aydan from her, a woman who once believed she was the perfect woman to marry her son and become her daughter-in-law.

Even Piril had become good friends with Eda and publically supported her relationship with Serkan.

And now Eda was carrying Serkan’s child.

She should be the mother of his child. She deserved to have everything she ever wanted. The effort she put into her job, her relationship with Serkan, the need to be perfect. Yes, she deserved to be the one to have Serkan’s affections and his child. She deserved the picture-perfect life they could have together if given the chance.

If only Eda would stop fighting and die already. Just how many times did she have to try and kill her before it took? Perhaps the third time would be the charm.

She would not lose Serkan to her again. She refused to watch them being together.

She would not watch Serkan have a family, building the life she always wanted with Eda when she has been here all along.

“If you would like a moment with her before we take her to run test, you only have a few minutes.”

“Thank you,” Serkan pushed into the room, letting it shut behind him.

He hated the sight of Eda pale and looking weak. She appeared to be just sleeping but he knew better, her arm was in a cast from surgery. There was a bandage on her head, the monitors she was hooked up to were steadily beeping.

He moved forward, carefully sitting beside her on the edge of her bed. He clasped her hand in both of his. Her skin was slightly cold from the chill in the hospital and he rubbed it to try and bring her warmth.

“I’m so sorry.” He whispered. “I hate seeing you like this, you should be laughing and smiling and gracing everyone lucky to be near you with your goodness not laying in the hospital for reasons out of your control. I know things haven’t been easy for you and you have been unhappy but I promise that’s over now. You fought for me and now it’s time for you to fight for yourself and for our baby. Can you do that for me, Eda? If you can I promise you everything is going to be okay.”

Her fingers curled around his, tightening, his eyes snapped to her face. “Eda,”

“Serkan,” her eyes fluttered open and she smiled softly at him. “You’re here.”

Her eyes were slightly glassy and he was sure she was a little loopy from the medication. She was cute when she first woke up, always a little disoriented.

He lifted his hand and cupped her cheek and Eda leaned into his touch, her smile soft and tender. She shut her eyes, savoring the soft touch of his hand against her skin.

“I’m here, baby, and I’m not going anywhere.” Serkan lifted her hand and held it to his own cheek.

“Promise?” She asked, having trouble keeping her eyes open.

“I promise.” He said softly.

“Promise you won’t break any more promises,” Eda whispered.

Her words were soft but they felt sharp like a knife cutting into his heart. He turned his head and kissed her palm. “I will never break another promise to you. I rather die than break any more promises.”

Eda smiled her eyes drifting shut again.

A few minutes later a nurse came and took her for tests. ‘

Serkan waited outside the room for Eda to be brought back. Selin returned but he couldn’t be bothered to deal with her yet. She wasn’t what mattered.

#edser #edser fic #fanfic #sen çal kapımı #eda yildiz #serkan bolat #serkan x eda

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obligatorycoffee · 3 years

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Ack I've joined the essay train. More under the cut~

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As it stands now, I fit into two categories under the alterhuman umbrella: otherkind and otherhearted. The details get a little wishy-washy with labels around my otherkin identity...draconic, dragonkin, dragonkind, theriomythic, what-have-you, but the general gist is I'm a dragon, and that's that. I'm also domestic cat-hearted, cheetah-hearted, and Andalite-hearted. I enjoy these creatures, but I'm not them.

But, how do I know?

First of all, I suppose it's not possible to ever really know for sure. Our experiences are subjective and open to interpretation, and even those who've contemplated their identities for years can see them change or need reevaluation in the light of new information. Even so, at this point I can say with fair certainty that I'm a dragon, and not a cat, or a cheetah, or an Andalite.

I've loved cats for as long as I can remember, and begged my parents relentlessly for a kitten even before I was in kindergarten. I gained an intense obsession with cheetahs around that time too, and used to run around the house pretending to be one. I drew house cats and cheetahs incessantly on scraps of computer paper, alongside my innumerable dragon sketches. My mom, being allergic to cats, nixed the idea of getting me a cat at first, but a stray tuxedo kitten showed up at her work, and in the absence of an allergic reaction, she caved and brought the kitten home for a trial run as a pet. The cat ended up staying with us for 18 years. Oh how I loved that cat. I'd sit on the floor next to her and eat dry cereal from a bowl while she ate her kibble, I'd follow her around, nap with her, brush her, and dress her up to my heart's desire. I'd meow and hiss, I'd sharpen my fingernails to be more cat-like, and I convinced my parents to buy me tickets to the Cats musical, where I dressed up as my tuxedo cat for the show. I know cat body language exceptionally well, and can usually figure out pretty quickly what a cat wants or how it's feeling, and I've picked up lifelong feline mannerisms from being around cats since my childhood.

But, I'm not a cat.

Cats feel like family, and I'm thrilled to meet new cats, hang out with my cats, or look at cute art of cats. I will probably own cats for as long as I live. But they're little creatures I surround myself with that move and act in a way I've never felt a pull toward at an identity level.

I grew up reading K.A. Applegate's Animorphs series, and instantly fell in love with her blue centaur aliens, the Andalites. They were weird and funny, and had kickass scythe tails to boot. I'd run around on the playground with my friends at recess, and we'd pretend we were Andalites or other characters from the books. As I grew up, I never quite forgot about Andalites, and came to the abrupt realization recently that I'm probably Andalite-hearted. I was falling asleep one night and the realization that I really vibed with Andalites struck me out of nowhere. They feel familiar and interesting, and somehow important to me. I enjoy the fact that they exist, and I get a kick out of their species design, and they're just darn cool. The last time I read an Animorphs book was in middle school, but I've been thinking about Andalites ever since.

But I'm not an Andalite.

Nothing about their species fits with my experiences as nonhuman, and while I get a warm sense of familiarity when I think about them or interact with media involving them, that sense of familiarity doesn't extend to descriptions of their customs or planet. They'd make a darn cool linktype though, now that I think about it.

A handful of years ago, I spent hundreds of hours researching and writing about an odd seabird called a streaked shearwater. It's a member of the tube-nosed seabirds (of which albatrosses are also members), and likes to nest in burrows on hills above the ocean. It's an excellent flyer, and it can travel immense distances with speed and incredible grace. A couple months into my studies, I had a vision of myself as a shearwater, with white wings spread out to the night sky. I don't typically imagine myself as other animals, so when I had this vision, the intensity startled me, and I began to question if this was a theriotype. I'd spent a month or so doing fieldwork in a shearwater colony, and during my time there, I always felt a longing to leap out from the cliffs and fly over the ocean, and greatly enjoyed crawling around in the dirt and leaves to check on the birds incubating eggs in their burrows. Maybe there was more to that enjoyment than I thought.

Yet, when I imagined myself as a shearwater, flying over cliffs out to the ocean, I was not the bird itself; I was present in its body, but numb and unaware of what the bird's body was doing. I wasn't present mentally in its movements or senses. It was almost as if I were tagging along with the animal itself or hitching a ride, so to speak. Upon further exploration of what I imagined feeling like a shearwater should feel like, from a physical standpoint, I found it unnatural and almost horrifying to imagine my feet moulded into the adorably flappy webbed feet of a seabird, or to have a bristle of feathers sticking out as a tail. The bill felt like a deformed mask, the wings wrong, and the squat duck-like body felt ungainly. The thought of soaring on the night wind was enticing, but beyond that, it was uncomfortable and felt like nothing more than a cameo.

But what happens when the cameo shifts do feel right?

On and off for a few years, I'd have envisage shifts or phantom shifts of tufted cat ears overlaying where my human ears are. They were long and tan, and not really of any feline species I'm aware of, but close enough to a lynx that'd I'd probably describe them as such. I could imagine them flattening or perking up, depending on the situation and my mood. They'd come and go, and weren't really triggered by anything as far as I could tell. Their frequency followed a similar pattern to my draconic shifts...some weeks frequent, with some long periods of complete absence. They've since vanished, and I haven't noticed them around for a good couple years now. I can't say I miss them, but honestly, they were kind of fun, and they never felt particularly wrong, unlike my jaunt in a shearwater's body. However, I never felt an attachment to them identity-wise, and despite sticking around for a good few years, I never felt anything more associated with the shifts beyond some cat ears pasted on my human head (worth noting, my draconic shifts and cat ear shifts never overlapped! No cat-eared dragons here). I don't know where they came from and I don't know where they went. I'm not a lynx, and they were simply a cameo.

Perhaps I'm wrong about all these things, and I'm a draconic, feline, Andalite polykin, but exploring how differently I experience my draconity versus feline, cheetah, and Andalite-heartedness, I'm extremely inclined to believe these are a collection of different identities and cameo shifts. My identity isn't pulled toward shearwaters or lynx like it is toward my variety of western dragon or toward the idea of surrounding myself with cats, cheetahs, and Andalites. They all have distinct feelings, as hard as they are to put into words.

#pretty sure I started writing this four years ago and just today found the doc with the main ideas jotted down #whoops #someday I'll finish my WIPs #thoughts #essays #by me #otherkin #otherkind #otherhearted

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marrys-dream-world · 3 years

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lovers alone wear sunlight (chapter eight)

Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five Chapter Six Chapter Seven

Read on AO3

Notes: Day 20: Escape. @ladrienjune

Ladybug absolutely detested the cold season.

Tikki had warned her, at the beginning of the end of her normal life™ , that she would retain some of the characteristics of the ladybug insect because of her miraculous. It was just September, so she brushed it off easily, mind filled with the electrifying sensation of flying and the rush of falling for the sunshine that occupied the seat in front of her in class. Of course, now during the old drags of Paris’ rainy season, it never left her mind, especially as she was soaked to the bone.

It had just been a drizzle when she left her house, even though Tikki had strongly advised her against it. But Adrien had been upset during the day, eyes cloudy as he looked out of the wind for most of the period. Ms. Bustier, aware of the good student Adrien is, didn’t call him out in favor of asking Marinette to please look at the board and not her classmate. She had turned tomato red and hid behind her book, but didn’t miss the concerned look her teacher sent Adrien and the way she held him back for a few minutes after class, talking in hushed tones in the empty classroom.

At least I won’t die if I fall. Ladybug thought as she threw her yo-yo at the slippery slopes of the buildings. The rain was starting to get even heavier, but she soldiered on as the light of Adrien’s window grew closer and closer.

When she finally reached it, she knocked desperately, precariously perched on the most solid thing she could find. She couldn’t see Adrien through the foggy and drenched glass, so she almost fell forward when he suddenly opened the window. Fortunately, strong arms caught before she could hit the ground.

“Falling for me, my hero?” Adrien said softly, the ghost of a smile pulling on his lips. Just by seeing him, it felt like the rain outside got lighter and the sky wasn’t as grey anymore.

“Can't deny it, handsome.” She said, cuddling against his chest before her eyes snapped wide open. “I got you all wet!”

“It’s just water.” He shrugged it off, squeezing her shoulder. He seemed to do that a lot, whether she was Ladybug or just Marinette. “I’ll get you a towel.”

“Thanks.” Ladybug said, using his distraction to take in the sight of him.

She hadn't imagined his bad disposition at all. Adrien looked frail, shoulders slumped and skin pale. He walked sluggishly to his closet, the small smile he wore whenever she was around leaving his face.

“Is everything okay, Adrien?” Ladybug asked, unwilling to beat around the bush. They cried in each other’s arms too much (a worrying amount, to be honest) for her to hesitate asking.

He turned to her and opened his mouth and then closed it again, frowning and handing her the bigger towel he got. He motioned for her to turn around and after she did, he started to dry her hair gently with a smaller towel he had in hands.

“Today is my mother’s birthday.” He said simply and it knocked her breath away. “My father and I haven’t really been talking these days, you know why. But I thought that since it’s today, we could spend some time together. It’s not like he would let aunt Amelie and Félix come back here after what happened last time.”

Ladybug shuddered as he thought of Adrien’s creepy cousin. She couldn’t believe that she agreed with Gabriel Agreste on something.

“So I asked him if we could spend the day together, watch one of mom’s movies and maybe get her favorite orange cake just to celebrate her, but he…” Adrien laughed wetly. “Let’s just say I wish he just told me a simple no.”

“Oh, Adrien…” She dropped her towel and turned around to hug his shaking form. “It’s okay, you can let it out.”

“I’m just so tired of crying, Ladybug.” He choked out. “It feels like it’s all I’ve been doing lately. It’s not fair, I should be happy.”

“Adrien?” She said hesitantly, taking notice of the hysterical note his voice took.

“I have friends, I’m going to school and I have a wonderful girlfriend. I should be happy. Hell, I should be ecstatic!” His voice slowly grew in volume and she desantagled herself from his arms to look at his glassy eyes. “Why am I not happy?”

Because of your father. She wanted to say. Because Adrien’s weird complex with his model persona? His isolation from his friends? His family drama? It all boiled down to Gabriel and it would be so easy for her to just say it.... But Adrien was too vulnerable right now.

Because of me. She also wanted to say. Because Adrien’s school life wasn’t as enjoyable with Marinette Dupain-Cheng’s avoidance of him and the whole class aware of their forced break up. Alya urged to talk to him everyday, but just the thought of facing Adrien with no mask after everything that happened made her skin break out into hives.

Because of me. She wanted to say even more, emphasize. Because Ladybug, as Adrien’s girlfriend, was absolutely useless. She was someone whose real name and face he didn’t know, who he couldn’t introduce to his friends and family. And if he did? It was doomed anyways. She felt helpless, relying on words when all she wanted was to fix his problems.

She would never say any of that, though, too scared of ruining her relationship with Adrien.

Like you ruined yours with Chat? A malicious voice rang around her head. It sounded like herself.

“It’s all I ever wanted…” He continued, sounding exhausted. “So why am I like this?”

“You don’t have to be happy just because you have those things, you know?” She said gently, taking his hand on hers. “It doesn’t make you ungrateful or anything.”

“I-I guess so.” Adrien admitted, squeezing her hand. “But I’m just tired of being sad, Ladybug.”

An idea popped into her head.

“Then let’s do something about it.” Ladybug looked outside the window and sure enough, the rain had faded away, leaving the cloudy sky. “You know what always cheers me up? A yo-yo ride.”

“Are you saying…?” He said, eyes becoming more focused.

“Do you think your father would notice if you left?”

He snorted. “Definitely not. But what if it rains again?”

“It’s not like we're made of sugar.” She said, opening the window and holding out her hand. “I would never let you fall. Trust me?”

Adrien’s eyes softened. “Always, my love.”

And then they were soaring through the sky. Even though it was barely after five in the afternoon, the sky was dark enough it looked like late at night, so Adrien got the full experience of soaring through the Parisian night lights. Ladybug had a hard time steering them as she could barely keep her eyes away from Adrien’s awed face and shining eyes. They swung between the building for a few minutes before she noticed he was shivering, so they stopped on top of a very familiar building near her parent’s bakery.

Chat’s rooftop for the romantic surprise that day… She shook away those thoughts before they could consume her.

“I should have told you to put on a sweater before we left.” Ladybug told Adrien, hugging his shivering body to her. “I forget how windy it can get and that I don’t feel very cold in the suit and…”

“Hey, it’s okay, my hero.” He said, sounding a lot more chirpy than before. “I got so excited that I forgot, too.”

“Well, at least I can warm you up like this.” She said, tightening her arms and he hummed happily.

“Maybe that was my plan all along.” Adrien teased, wiggling his eyebrows.

“You only had to ask, handsome.” Ladybug answered, enjoying the flush it brought to his face. “So, did you enjoy it?”

“Enjoy it? I loved it! It felt so… different.” His smile was brighter than the lights around them.

“Good. You deserve to have nice things.” She said, rubbing his back. “Look, I can’t solve all your problems, no matter how much I want to. But if I can give you anything in my reach, please tell me.”

“You already do more than enough, my love.” And he truly believed that, from the way he looked at her. “I just get overwhelmed, sometimes. I feel like I’m in such a better place than I was last year, so I shouldn’t be so… ungrateful.”

“You’re not ungrateful, Adrien.” She repeated her words from their previous conversation. “It’s okay to be sad.”

“I know that, objectively, but it doesn’t feel like that.” Adrien sighed, looking up from the girl in his arms to the sky. “Uh… Ladybug?”

“Yeah?”

“I think it’s going to-” Before he could finish, it started to rain once again, heavily.

Ladybug spluttered and Adrien, already looking soaked, laughed at the ridiculous situation. She quickly contemplated her options, holding back from just grabbing Adrien and taking him to her balcony so they could hide in her room. Instead, she did what she always did when she didn’t know what to do.

“Lucky Charm!” She shouted, magic flaring up around her and changing her suit to its new form. An open umbrella fell into her hands and she put it over their heads, even if they were already too wet for it to be useful.

“Wow.” Adrien said, eyes shining. “I haven’t been able to see it so close yet. Especially since you’re not, you know, in battle.”

“I’m still getting used to this transformation after transformation stuff.” She said, trying to steady the umbrella against the strong wind. “What do you think of the new suit?”

“I think it suits you.” He said and laughed when she rolled her eyes. “Thanks for lucky charming this umbrella. Think I can keep it?”

“Dunno, never tried to keep a lucky charm. But why? Can’t even buy an umbrella, rich boy?”

“I did have you. It was my mother’s, but it’s safe with a friend. A good one.” His gaze turned melancholic as it slid to the balcony on the top of Tom&Sabine’s.

She was suddenly overwhelmed with the need to tell him. Tell him she has his umbrella, that it meant so much more to her than he could ever think, that there has never been anyone else for her, that her coming to visit him was as much for her sake as it was for his, that she wanted to hold his hand in class, that she wanted to go on double dates with Nino and Alya, that she wanted his father to suck it if he disapproved.That she’s Marinette Dupain-Cheng and she’s irrevocably in love with Adrien Agreste.

But she can’t. And didn’t that hurt?

“I’m glad you have good friends, Adrien.” She said, burying her head on his chest so he wouldn’t see the guilt in her eyes.

“I’m glad, too.” He murmured back, unaware of how her chest was caving in under the weight of so much emotion.

They stayed under the umbrella until the heavy rain wore down. When Marinette woke up with a light fever and a sore throat the next day and her doting mother called the school to say she wouldn’t show up, she only had one thought on her mind.

I want to tell Adrien who I am.

#ladrienjune #ladrienjune2021 #ladrien #ladybug #adrien agreste #ml fic #my stuff #lovers alone wear sunlight

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crusherthedoctor · 3 years

Note

Can we have some unpopular Sonic opinions?

I tried to cram in a lot, so I hope this satisfies you. :P I tried to stick to the ones that I haven't brought up quite as often, since by this point, we all know that I think IDW's storytelling is dire, SA2's story is overrated, X Eggman is an embarrassing portrayal (at least from season 2 onwards), Blaze shouldn't be handcuffed to Silver, Shadow's backstory had issues with or without the Black Arms, Neo Metal Sonic looks silly, etc. But anyway, here we go:

- Knuckles may be tricky to incorporate into plots that don't relate to Angel Island, but making him obsessed with his duties is no better than having him forget about Angel Island entirely.

- I like Marine, and never found her annoying. Oh, I understood what they were trying to do with her, but I honestly wasn't put off by her, and found her Aussie lingo more endearing if anything. Since her debut was during the period in my life where where I couldn't stand Sonic himself, I instead thought he was irritating (and hypocritical) for getting annoyed with her for doing shit he would often be guilty of.

- Silver is just as guilty of being shoehorned into games and plots as the Deadly Six are. Having more fans than the latter is irrelevant, since we're still talking about a character who constantly has to time travel in order to be present.

- Speaking of Silver, if he has to stick around, please do something different with him. They've pulled the doomed future routine multiple times now, and it's been boring every single time. I wasn't interested when it involved Iblis. I wasn't interested when it involved Knuckles drinking the edgy Kool Aid. I wasn't interested when it involved a council of dumbasses... give it a rest already.

- The Tails Doll can work as a mildly creepy thing, with maybe more to it than meets the eye when it's time for a boss fight or what have you. But the memes about him stealing your soul are just dumb, and I thought it was dumb even back in my teenage youth.

- “Eggman is supposed to be clownish!” Yeah, well he's also meant to be a genuine villain with a 300 IQ. These qualities don't have to be mutually exclusive.

- “Sonic is supposed to have attitude!” Yeah, well that's not the same thing as being an absolute cunt. Sonic was only ever meant to come off as having an edge compared to Mario. He was never meant to be a GTA-tier protagonist.

- Rouge is not a villain, and never was a villain. Literally the whole point of her role in SA2 was to reveal that she was working against Eggman and Shadow the whole time, albeit using sneakier tactics to do so. You'd think all those people who exult SA2's story would remember this, but apparently not. She barely even qualifies as an anti-hero, since aside from stealing the Master Emerald, she rarely does anything morally questionable otherwise. She's got a lot more good in her than people give her credit for.

- Captain Whisker is a better Eggman Nega than the actual Eggman Nega. And as far as robot characters in this franchise go, Johnny's design is pretty underrated.

- I don't like Iblis or Mephiles, but I DO like Solaris, and it annoys me that it was out of focus for most of the story due to all the time spent on its less interesting halves. Had they kept the backstory with the Duke and his experiments, and worked from there, I think they could have provided an interesting contrast with Chaos (since Solaris can also qualify as a monster with a sympathetic backstory) instead of recycling the surface level schtick.

- Black Doom may technically be just as bad as Mephiles, Nega, Scourge, Mimic, etc, since he's yet another villain with one-note characterization and fucked over Eggman. But because he never gained a disproportionate fandom, he doesn't annoy me to the same extent. It's easier to ignore him by comparison, and his Dr. Claw voice and face shaped like a lady's delicate part make him enjoyable to mock.

- Likewise, while Lyric is also on the same level as these other villains, it's easier to dismiss him because I was never invested in the Boom games anyway, and being an obvious alternate universe (compared to Sonic X or IDW, which retain the Modern designs and plot elements), it never had an effect on the main series. I also unironically like his design, and if nothing else, at least this snake didn't start a hypnotism fetish across the internet.

- Sally - and the rest of the Freedom Fighters for that matter - have had their importance in the franchise severely inflated. They may have been lucky to be the face of popular media (SatAM and Archie), but they're not these magnificent entities that the game characters are but a speck of dust in comparison to. Having a “legacy” doesn't make them more entitled to shit than any other character, old or new.

- Conceptually, the treasure hunting gameplay is one of the better alternate gameplay styles IMO. But it was let down in SA2 by its one track minded radar (the levels may have been big, but I don't think that would have been an issue on its own if the radar was better). If they brought it back and made it more like SA1's treasure hunting, I'd be all for it, although it would probably be better suited for a spinoff title.

- This goes for a lot of games, but when it comes to 2D, I prefer sprites over models. Not that the Rush models are bad (though the ones in Chronicles sure as fuck are), but the sprites in Mania and the Advance trilogy are just so charming and full of character.

- I actually like Marble Zone. Yeah, the level design is a bit blocky, but I love the concept of an underground temple prison, mixed with lava elements in a zone that otherwise isn't a traditional volcano level.

- I also like Sandopolis Zone. Again, completely understand why it's not the most popular zone around, but I've been a sucker for the Ancient Egyptian aesthetic since childhood (you can thank Crash 3 for that), and Act 1 is visually stunning.

- I prefer the JP soundtrack for Sonic CD over the US version overall... but I also prefer Sonic Boom over You Can Do Anything.

- SA2's soundtrack isn't bad by any means - I love Rouge's tracks, and The Last Scene is one of my favourite pieces of music - but as far as variety goes, it's a step down from SA1's soundtrack.

- If Sonic X-Treme had been released, it probably would have been unenjoyable and confusing. Whatever your thoughts on SA1, it was probably the better option between the two as far as Sonic's first legitimate translation into 3D goes.

- I have no qualms with Modern Sonic and the other Modern designs and characters, but I also fully acknowledge that changing gears from Adventure onwards - and doing it with a great amount of fanfare - was always going to create one of the biggest divides in the fandom, and fans shouldn't act surprised that this happened. The fact that they felt the need to hype up a new design and direction in the first place (compared to Mario, who has mostly been the same since the beginning, with only the occasional minor change with little fanfare) also indicates that they weren't confident enough in Sonic and his universe being the way it was, which often gets ignored by all the “SEGA have no confidence!!!” complaints you see with their recent games.

- Unleashed did not deserve the incredibly harsh reviews it received back in the day... but it doesn't deserve its current sacred cow status either. It had more effort put into it than '06 to be sure, and I can respect that, but much of it was misguided effort, and even if you like the Werehog, you have to admit that the idea came at the absolute worst time. The intro cutscene may be awesome, as is the Egg Dragoon fight, but 2% doesn't make up the entire game. Chip was also quite annoying, and I wasn't particularly sad when he pressed F in the chat at the end.

- On the other hand, while Colours definitely has its shortcomings, and people have every right to criticse those shortcomings, a lot of its most vocal detractors tend to have a stick up their arse about the game because people actually enjoyed it, and it had a gimmick that people actually liked. Yes, it may have been the first game to have those writers everyone hates, but then SA1 was the first game to give the characters alternate gameplay styles and have other villains upstage Eggman, so...

- Forces is absolutely not on the level of '06. It's nowhere close. A game being flawed does not make it the next '06, clickbait YouTubers. Or should I say, the game they want to retroactively apply '06's reception to, since they've been trying hard to magically retcon '06's own quality...

- To echo @beevean, ALL of the 3D stories have their issues. SA1 is probably the most well-rounded of them on the whole, but even that one isn't perfect.

- To echo another opinion, although I do love SA1, I'm not crazy over the idea of a remake, and would prefer them to just take Sonic's gameplay from SA1 and work from there. Because with a remake, you're stuck in a hard spot: Do you keep it the way it is bar the expected graphical upgrades, and risk accusations of not doing anything to actually improve the experience? Or do you try to address past criticisms, and risk the wrath of the fans who will inevitably go on a #NotMyAdventure crusade about it? What people fail to consider is that the Crash and Spyro remakes were accepted gracefully because their original iterations were still unanimously beloved for the most part, whereas SA1 - and especially SA2 - have always been divisive, and have only gotten moreso over the years.

- People take their preferences for the character's voice actors too seriously. I have my own favourites like anyone else, but I don't make a big deal out of it.

- And with fandom voice actors, they usually focus too much on doing a basic impression of their preferred official voice actor, and not enough on the acting. So you end up getting a lot of fan voices who sound like decent impressions of Ryan Drummond or Jason Griffith on the surface, but they sound utterly empty beyond that impression, because there's no oomph or depth to the actual emotions. They think about the actor rather than the character, when it should really be the other way around.

- The thing with Ian Flynn is that he is capable of telling a decent story, and he can portray some characters well. But he's proven time and time again that everything will go off the rails if he's given too much freedom (ironic, given how quick he is to point the finger at mandates when something goes wrong).

- Ian Flynn and Shiro Maekawa are not the only people in the world who are allowed to write for Sonic. I understand that one should be cautious when seeking out new writing talent, but for all the fandom's accusations of playing it safe, they sure aren't in a rush to experiment outside of their own comfort zone.

- And of course, the big one: You don't fix the franchise's current problems by crawling back to its previous problems. It's much more helpful and constructive to discuss the good and bad alike with each of the games. Less “THIS GOOD, MODERN BAD”, and more “This could work, but maybe without that part...”

#Crusher's Asks #Opinion #Sonic the Hedgehog

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saviorsbookcafe · 3 years

Text

The Savior’s Book Café in Another World: Chapter 4

INDEX || PREVIOUS || NEXT

Chapter 4: Interaction

Translated by: sydney Proofread by: Necro

My first customer, a man named Ill, came back to my café the next day at the same time.

Unlike yesterday, when he arrived seeming very tense, today he seems very excited.

As another person who loves books, I know that feeling well.

“Welcome.”

“Excuse me, could I borrow the book you were holding for me again?”

“Yes, of course. Here you are.”

After I handed him the book I had been holding onto, he sat at the same table as yesterday.

I explained that there’s also a private room, and he hesitated for a moment before saying he’d move if someone else came.

The seat he’s sitting at is near the fire, and is in a very good place for getting new books from the shelves, so he probably likes that seat.

I hand him the menu, and after looking at it for a short time, he orders several things, all of which are more filling items.

Maybe he just wasn’t very hungry yesterday.

Maybe it’s because he’s a man, but he’s also part of the Knights, meaning he would probably be fighting a lot.

I wonder if he’s training, since he seems to be in good shape, or maybe he’s just the type to eat a lot.

I bring him enough things to bury the small one-person table, and after eating the main meal, he begins reading while eating the last things with one hand.

It makes me glad to see him take one bite and be surprised before continuing to eat with a smile.

As someone who enjoys cooking, it makes me very happy when people enjoy eating what I’ve made for them.

I look away so I don’t disturb his reading, and open my own book.

From then on, he came almost every day.

He always comes to the café around the same time, once it gets to evening, after he’s finished working for the day.

He leaves at different times, but he always seems to want to stay as long as possible.

It was over a month later of him coming to the café, around the time when we had begun talking more and more.

Recently, while I’m making his order, he’ll sometimes come to the counter and talk with me.

We always talk about books, telling each other which ones are interesting or which ones we’d recommend, things along those lines.

Every book he’s introduced me to has been interesting, and every time I stock new books, he always says they’re books he’s wanted to read.

It’s peaceful, and while I thought that once customers started coming I would lose time for reading, getting excited about books with someone with the same taste as me is only fun.

“The books you stock always look interesting, every time I come I spend a long time deciding which one to read next.”

“Me too. All of the books you’ve told me about have been so interesting, once I get them in, I can’t decide where to start.”

“I know that if I start reading while I’m worried, I can only read so much.”

“It’s difficult, isn’t it? Although the time spent worrying is still enjoyable.”

I’ve never had someone I could talk to like this before, so spending time talking with him has become another thing I look forward to recently.

Most of my friends from my old world weren’t the type to read much.

It was as I was talking with him and was putting the finishing touches on his food.

Even as I focused on putting the last touches on, we didn’t stop talking.

“The new book you got the other day was very interesting. I was surprised when everything turned around at the last part.”

“Right, I know! No one could have predicted that!” I replied enthusiastically, before frantically covering my mouth with my hands.

He looks at me with a slightly surprised expression, and I break out into a cold sweat, thinking, Now I’ve done it.

I was focused on cooking, but I was also so excited that he felt the same that I started talking to him like we were close friends.

“I-I’m sorry. I haven’t had anyone else to be excited with about books like this before. I was just happy that someone else felt the same way when reading the same part of the same book...,” I frantically apologized, and his expression changed to a gentle smile.

And then in the somewhat awkward atmosphere, he opened his mouth.

“It’s okay, I don’t mind. I haven’t had anyone to talk to about books like this before either. Um...if it’s okay, I’d be happy if you wanted to be more like friends, sort of like reading companions.”

“Huh?”

From his personality, I didn’t think that he would be angry, but I didn’t expect him to say that.

Not that it doesn’t make me happy.

“Um, are you sure?”

“Yeah. Even though I’ve been teased for being a bookworm, I’ve never had the chance to talk with anyone who likes reading as much as I do. And there’s the benefit of it being easier to stay here longer if you became friends with me.”

He smiles, his reply serious but with a joke thrown in as well.

I unconsciously let out a breath at his words, and then look him in the eyes and smile.

“That would be nice.... I’d like that.”

“I’m happy to hear that.”

I stopped using the polite language I had been using towards him, and he started speaking with me more informally as well.

Somehow, it seems that not only did I get my ideal café in this other world, but I got my ideal friend.

Immediately after, he introduced himself properly to me, and I was surprised to learn that he’s the Knight Captain in this country.

Apparently ‘Ill’ is a nickname, and his actual name is ‘Soeil.’

Ever since I found out about this country’s information notices, or rather, the pamphlets where the planned monster subjugations are written that are passed out periodically, I’ve read it every day, and the mentioned Knight Captain’s name was the same.

Since it’s always the two of us in the café, I don’t need to use his name when we talk, so I never noticed.

He told me just to call him ‘Ill,’ but it felt like I’d become friends with a really amazing person.

But now I can probably talk about books without holding back.

It seems he was thinking the same, as from that day on he sat at the counter and we had deeper conversations than before.

A short while after we became friends, we became comfortable talking to each other without holding back, and before I knew it, it felt like we were rapidly becoming closer.

It’s fun, knowing that even if I talked enough to make the average person draw back, I would get even more in response.

I never thought it would make me this happy to find someone who I could talk about something I love with from the bottom of my heart.

As it seemed that he was always looking forward to coming here, I began looking forward to opening the café door for him.

And precisely because we became friends, there was one thing that I began to worry about.

More accurately, I was worried about it before as well, but I couldn’t well bother a customer about it, so I tried to simply ignore it.

He looked forward to coming to the café, but as soon as he entered, he would let out a big sigh that seemed to be of relief.

There were always faint bags under his almond-shaped eyes, and while he would seem to be enjoying himself when reading, when he was leaving the café, he would let out another sigh, this one seeming to be of depression, as he left.

Both of these sighs seemed somehow subconscious.

Since it doesn’t seem like he dislikes the café, maybe there’s something he doesn’t like before and after coming here.

I watched as he rode away after sighing as he left again today, and closed up the café. Before I go to sleep, I think while looking at the book in front of me.

Being a Knight Captain must be stressful sometimes, so maybe he’s just sighing because he’s stressed or tired?

Like me, he relieves stress by reading, so maybe it would help to stock some new books, I think, returning my gaze to the open book in front of me.

My current lifestyle includes spending the morning reading, then in the afternoon I work on new developments for the menu or otherwise organizing the café, and once Ill arrives, I spend that time either reading or studying magic.

I spend most of my time reading by far, but the book on my lap today is a magic textbook.

This book has quite the variety of spells, including several that seem useful for using around the café.

As I’m flipping through the pages, one spell stands out to me, and I carefully read its description.

“...this is it.”

A type of fatigue restoration magic that you cast on food or drinks.

In other words, it’s as if a health food took effect immediately, and it doesn’t seem to have any negative effects on the consumer’s body.

It’s a spell that helps you recover from fatigue and simultaneously accelerates recovery from injuries.

“‘After using the spell to recover once, you can take a slightly weaker version daily to reduce fatigue in general....’”

It seems like this spell is usually used in restaurants or hospitals, and it falls under the class of advanced magic.

Enchanted items tend to jump up in price based on the magic used, and it says using this magic without changing the flavor of the food consumes a considerable amount of magic.

‘At famous high-class restaurants, they sometimes have a specialist exclusively for casting these spells’?

A good sense for handling magic is required is also written in red letters to stand out, so it seems that by nature this isn’t the kind of magic that would be used in a personal café like mine.

“The amount of magic it costs isn’t a problem, and I have no need to raise my prices. All that’s left is to see if I can actually use it properly.”

This way, Ill won’t think anything is strange, so I decide to try it out and brew a cup of tea for myself.

I followed the book’s instructions and casted the spell.

It doesn’t look any different, and it doesn’t taste any different either.

I get the feeling that my shoulders are suddenly lighter, but it could just be my imagination, so I decide to test out for certain whether or not this magic worked.

“Umm, in order to see for certain whether or not this recovery magic works, I’m supposed to cast a light offensive spell.... Offensive spell....”

After a moment of thinking, I face my cup of tea and try to cast an offensive spell.

The flame in my hand made a pathetic fizzling sound, barely making a ripple on the cup of tea upon impact.

This is terrible, even a child could cast a better offensive spell.

The cup of tea sparkled brightly, indicating that the magic is working, so it seems like at least the restoration spell itself was fine.

“...I can light the fireplace, so why?”

Even the spells I can normally cast, as soon as I try to imagine them as offensive spells, they turn into pathetic knock-offs.

No matter what type, they all turn into the same thing, so I suppose even if I learn offensive spells I won’t be able to use them.

If that’s the case, I’ll master defensive magic to protect myself, I decided.

The recovery magic seems to have been a success, so my goal is accomplished.

“I wonder if it won’t recover all at once. But it said it has a strong effect...oh, it says, ‘It may be difficult to feel the effects at first, but once you go to sleep, you will recover immediately.’“

If I wake up tomorrow and feel fine, then I’ll put restoration magic on Ill’s food without saying anything about it.

He’s already asked me if the café’s prices are really alright.

If I talk about the restoration magic, then it might make him worry about it more.

If we were just café owner and customer, this might be a little much, but as reading companions, I think it’ll be okay.

He isn’t the type of person to hate this, and we don’t have a shallow friendship where this would be inappropriate.

“I hope that with this, he’ll feel even just a little better.”

The day after I learned that new spell, I woke up feeling amazing.

“My body, it feels so light!” I say without thinking, sitting up in my bed.

I can’t feel any of the stiffness in my shoulders that comes from reading so much, nor do I feel the slightest bit tired from having just woken up.

I almost wanted to go for a run right now, my body felt so good.

Of course, with the snow piled up outside, I have no intention of actually doing that.

“It isn’t called ‘Advanced Magic’ for nothing.”

Grateful that part of being a Savior means having such strong magic, I stand up and open the window to look outside.

As usual, the snow is piled up, but today the sun is out, so it looks like good weather.

With my body feeling light and the warm sun outside, wearing thicker clothes and spending my morning reading on the veranda today might be nice.

I bring a warm cup of tea and cookies, and open my book on my lap on the veranda outside.

It’s the start of a worthwhile day.

It’s not like I had been feeling particularly tired until now, but of course when your body is lighter your mood is better.

I finished all of the work I had actually planned to divide among several days, and came up with a new menu.

I was working all day, but my body didn’t get tired.

If it didn’t cost any more than one cup of tea to get this effect then it should be fine if I give it to Ill as well.

He’ll probably come in the evening today too, so if he can recover from his fatigue then he should be a little more relaxed mentally as well.

Speaking of which, it’s about the time he normally comes.

When I looked at the horse paddock earlier, the grass seemed to be diminishing considerably, so I’ll grow some more, I think, putting aside the book on my lap and standing up.

I’ve only ever seen Ill inside the café, so I’ve never seen his horse.

I like animals, so I wonder if Ill would let me pet his horse, I think, opening the door outside.

As soon as the door is open, I feel a cold wind blowing, as expected since it’s getting close to evening.

It was warm this morning, but this is a snow country.

“It’s so cold, I’m glad this country is peaceful, but if it’s snowing all year round.... I have the feeling it’ll take awhile before I get used to this.”

The roads that people use are fundamentally enchanted so the snow doesn’t pile up on them, but that doesn’t change how cold it is, and lately I’ve been missing having four seasons.

Although it sounds like the other large countries each have one season, spring, summer, or fall, all year long as well.

At least in winter I can manage by wearing extra clothes to keep warm, so it’s better than a summer country.

I hurry to the stable and open the door.

Thankfully the barrier keeps it warm, but the grass that should have been growing in the corner of the paddock is almost completely gone.

Maybe I should’ve cast a spell to make it grow automatically to an extent.

“Horses eat quite a bit. If anyone aside from Ill had started coming, I definitely wouldn’t have had enough.”

Speaking of which, don’t horses eat things aside from grass, like fruit or carrots?

I have horse feed prepared, but I kind of want to try offering fresh vegetables.

If they’re different from the horses in my old world, that wouldn’t work, so I’ll ask Ill if it’s okay to let his horse eat some.

Checking that he hasn’t come yet, I use my pendant to search for some apples and carrots and summon them.

I summoned them pre-cut and in a bowl, so that holding onto them like this wouldn’t be strange.

Carrying the bowl in my arms, I moved to the corner with the grass.

Even though I’ve already passed thirty, using magic is more fun than it should be.

If I lightly concentrate on a spell for growing grass, a magic circle appears and I could feel my spirits lift.

Then, if I use more of my magic, the magic circle expands, and grass grows where the magic circle touches.

Yeah, this is fun.

“...I think that’s good.”

Just as the area expands a little more, I stop using my magic and turn back to face the entrance only to meet eyes with Ill, who’s standing with a slightly surprised expression.

“Oh, welcome! Sorry, I didn’t hear you. I was just thinking I would add more grass to the paddock before you came.”

“Oh, uh, sorry, I didn’t say anything. I came a little earlier today.”

Next to Ill, who showed up out of nowhere, stood a pure white horse.

It’s much bigger than any of the horses at the farms in my old world, so I suppose this is what a war horse looks like.

It feels even bigger from up close, I notice as I walk towards it.

“You’re so big! It’s nice to meet you,” I say, looking up at it from below.

The horse seemed to take interest as well, moving its head down so I can get a better look at its face.

“Wow, you’re so pretty!”

It’s beautiful, even compared to other horses.

Its crisp features seemed to match Ill’s somehow, which I found amusing.

It has calm blue eyes that give it a gentle impression.

Its intrigued eyes widen, and it brings its head further down towards me.

“H-hey!”

Ill’s seemingly panicked voice echoes in the paddock, but his horse pays him no mind as it ducks its head towards me, or rather, the bowl I’m holding.

Its nose pokes at the bowl of vegetables.

“Ahaha, you like them don’t you? I prepared these thinking you’d be able to eat them, but,” I turn to Ill, asking, “is that okay? And is it okay if I pet your horse?”

“Uh, yeah, that’s fine. You can feed her.”

I held a piece of apple out, and she ate it from my hand.

Her eyes widen and sparkle brightly.

“You’re so cute, I’ll leave these in the food box for you and you can eat as much as you want.”

As if understanding me, she neighs happily and comes towards the box.

I’ve never had a horse come so close to me before, but animals are certainly cute.

“She’s so cute, can I pet her?”

“...yeah. She won’t hurt you, so just pet her nose like that.”

I stroke her nose the way Ill says.

Her eyes stayed just as gentle.

After petting her, I move my hand away, and she raises her head.

Unlike before, where her head was lowered for me, I probably wouldn’t be able to reach her nose like this.

“Ahh, animals really soothe me. Thanks for letting me pet her.”

“Oh, I don’t mind that at all. You’re not afraid?”

“Afraid? You mean, of horses?”

“Yeah.”

I never would have seen that question coming.

Certainly, horses are very big, so there are people who would be afraid, but unlike in my old world, horses are an important mode of transportation all over the country.

Not only that, but they’re unlikely to hurt anyone, and out of all of the animals I like, they’re one of my favorites.

For some reason, Ill has a serious expression on his face, which seems strange to me, but I answer his question.

“I’m not afraid, I’ve always liked horses. I think yours is especially pretty and cute.”

I look at her towards the end of my sentence, and she lowers her head for me again.

I pet her nose once more as I look over at Ill.

“The maids at the castle aren’t afraid either, are they? Since the horses are always helping us out.”

Hearing my answer, Ill is surprised for a moment, before looking downwards.

When he looks up again, his expression has changed to a happy smile.

“That’s right.... Thank you for the apples.”

“Of course, thank you for letting me pet her.”

As Ill released the reins, his horse happily ran towards the box I’d put the apples in.

His horse was so pretty that I could fall in love just looking at her.

In the café, there was a window that had a view of the horse paddock, with a curtain that I haven’t opened before, but if it meant I could see Ill’s horse running around I’d open it next time.

After watching his horse eat, her eyes sparkling, I faced Ill again.

“Oh, I got another book that you said you wanted to read.”

“Really?!” he asked, smiling happily and beginning to walk towards the café.

You don’t often see the customer leading the way, huh.

Noticing that his joyful smile looked similar to his horse’s sparkling eyes, I smile to myself.

They say pets take after their owners, but I hadn’t considered that to extend to horses and their riders.

Not only do both Ill and his horse have crisp features, they’ll both light up around the things they like in the exact same way.

I smile to myself again before following Ill into the café.

I hope the new novels I stocked today and the restoration magic help him feel better.

Once Tsukina and I became reading companions, we were able to enjoy reading together even more.

I couldn’t have imagined being able to talk this much with a woman my age almost every day, but since we both enjoy reading, being able to talk so deeply about books is unbelievably fun.

I also got my appetite back, as if it were never gone, and most of the books I’d given up on reading after not being able to get them were in that café.

If all the commotion with the Savior wasn’t going on, I probably could have enjoyed it even more.

As usual, the young Savior girl would not learn magic.

She had apparently seen one of the Knights’ horses out, and we were even ordered to be more careful with them.

The Knights’ irritation was past its peak.

Most of the members had left their horses at their parents’ or with friends, and decided to let the horses exercise there, far away from the castle.

Beork was continuing to work with the Princess to find a time and place.

It really is good that I found that café.

I can let my horse run around there, and I feel like going there immediately relieves me of my stress.

At any rate, even if the horses are big, what’s frightening about seeing them from far away?

Are they scary to women...to Tsukina too?

That concern was resolved by none other than Tsukina herself.

Watching Tsukina pet my beloved horse with a smile on her face was relieving.

At first I thought I’d made a mistake.

In any case, I’d wanted to get away from the young Savior girl, so I left the castle faster than usual which was bad.

I was relieved to arrive at the café, and I opened up the gate to the horse paddock without checking inside first, which was careless of me.

In the paddock that I thought was empty, Tsukina was using some kind of magic in the corner.

In the middle of the growing magic circle, grass begins to grow from the ground.

Growing plants is a considerably advanced type of creation magic, and growing them from nothing even more so.

Along with how well the barrier worked, and the magic in the café in even the smallest places, I’m impressed at how amazing her magic and magic control are.

I began thinking in the back of my mind about how nice it would be if she were a Savior.

Watching her turn around and her expression change to one of surprise, I immediately forget about those thoughts.

Next to me is my beloved horse, a huge horse, one that the Savior fears upon simply seeing.

She might be afraid of them too, I realize as I straighten my back, afraid of what might happen.

This is my beloved horse that I’ve left my life in the hands of, so if Tsukina, who I’ve built up a good relationship with, rejects her....

But it seems that was also an unnecessary worry.

She tells my horse It’s nice to meet you with the same cheerful smile she always wears, and compliments her.

My horse is happy to be complimented.

Even when she sticks her nose in the bowl Tsukina’s holding, Tsukina doesn’t get upset, offering her an apple and coming closer to pet her with a happy smile.

“The maids at the castle aren’t afraid either, are they?” she asked, making me realize I’ve forgotten about that.

I detested that at some point, the Savior girl had become the standard in my mind, but I was wholly relieved that Tsukina didn’t reject me.

Tsukina follows that up by telling me that she had gotten a book I wanted to read in, and I quickly head towards the café.

There may be a lot going on at the castle, but at least once I finish work I’m able to come here.

A place I can relax with my favorite books and delicious food.

When I find books I want to talk about, I can talk about them with her.

When I open the door and she meets me with a gentle smile, I finally feel like I can breathe.

The times I can’t go because of work are unbearably disappointing.

Before, once I finished work, I would go directly back to my room and read, but lately I’ve felt like I can relax better in this café than in my own room.

The several months since finding this café, I’ve come here every day so long as I didn’t have something I absolutely couldn’t get out of.

I step into the café I know so well now, and Tsukina follows with a cheerful smile.

“Is something wrong?”

“No, it’s nothing. What do you want today?”

“I had tea yesterday, so today I’ll have coffee. Can I order something to eat later?”

“Yes, that’s fine. I’ll have the coffee out in a minute.”

I watch her head towards the counter, and choose a book before moving to my usual seat.

There is quite a variety of drinks, so I’ve been ordering something different every day, and they’re all delicious.

Maybe I’ll ask if she would sell me some tea leaves or coffee beans, I thought, opening my book.

After some time, she brings me the coffee I asked for.

Just like always, it’s delicious, and I let out an impressed sound at the feeling of it going down my throat.

Whether it’s because of sitting in a place I like drinking a warm drink, my body suddenly feels lighter.

The sound of quiet music, the crackling fire, and Tsukina and myself flipping pages of our books.

The sounds of the café when it’s just Tsukina and me are gentle and make me relax even more.

So much that I’d almost rather live here.

Which is exactly why it’s unbearably depressing to leave.

Turning away from Tsukina, who watches me leave with a smile, I leave the café, sighing again.

I wonder if the Savior will cause even more problems tomorrow.

With that depressing thought, I fell into my bed and the next day came.

Recently, even immediately after I wake up, I’ve been feeling somewhat tired.

But this morning I sit up and stare at my hands.

My body feels so light, it’s like the fogginess in my mind has cleared up.

It isn’t that my disgust of the Savior has gone away, but I feel somewhat refreshed.

I stand up from my bed and take a few steps before stopping in place.

On top of having to do a lot of paperwork, swinging a sword around leads to a chronic pain in my shoulders that’s now gone away.

I wonder if this is because being at the café yesterday was very relaxing.

But I’ve never felt this well in all the months of going there.

“Well, there’s nothing better than being able to move.”

Today I promised Beork I’d spar with him in the morning.

Once I’m dressed, I head to the training grounds.

Beork had already arrived and was waving to me, and I gripped my sword as I waved back.

After several rounds of sparring, we decide to take a break, and I drink some water.

Although I have the higher position, there is little difference between Beork’s and my capabilities.

Having fought seriously, we were both out of breath.

“Aren’t you stronger today?”

“I’ve been feeling good today. It’s easy to move.”

“You definitely look well. Did something good happen?”

Something good..., I think, suddenly picturing Tsukina’s smile in my head.

Since I found that café, and since I met her, the days have been far more enjoyable than before.

Every day, I can’t wait to be done with work for the day.

I’m sure she’ll greet me with a smile again today.

Thinking of her smile makes my own lips pull into a smile.

“I suppose so, something good did happen.”

“Did you find a book you wanted? If you can’t find any time to read, I can take your horse out for a run for you, you know.”

“I’m fine right now, thanks. Anyways, make sure to find some time with the Princess. I hope you know she’s the one protecting the maids from the Savior.”

“Of course. Usually once work ends, I spend time with her. Today, not just because of the horse grounds, we’re planning to take my horse for a ride.”

“I see, I hope you get to spend some time together. The Princess can probably relax better away from the castle too.”

For some reason, I’d rather not bring up Tsukina, so I keep my words vague.

Maybe when the commotion with the Savior is under control, I can introduce her to Beork.

Well, there’s not really any problem with introducing her now.

But for a little longer, I want to have that place to myself to relax.

That warm space, and her friendship.

I smile wryly, thinking about how even though I’m an adult, wanting to keep that place to myself almost feels like I’ve become a child again.

Translation Notes:

“I started talking to him like we were close friends”: in Japanese culture, there is polite language (language used when speaking to people you don’t know well) and casual language (language used when speaking to people close to you); in this scene, Tsukina suddenly started using casual language towards Ill, which can be considered offensive, especially considering that he’s a customer at her café, which is why she was so horrified when she realized

“reading companions”: this is a literal translation of the Japanese term, as they’re not really “friends” friends yet, but are more than acquaintances, and this means they’re able to act more friendly with each other; in Japanese culture and the term “friend” indicates a stronger relationship than in English

“he started speaking with me more informally as well”: in this instance the Japanese actually says “he stopped using “you” (あなた anata) and started using “you” (君・きみ kimi) to me instead,” but I changed it to make it flow better. But if you’re interested in learning about Japanese second person pronouns (ways to say “you”), I’ve written a Twitter thread here about this topic, and you can find info on the nuances between あなた anata and 君・きみ kimi there

#savior's book cafe #savior's book cafe translation #bookcafenovel #chapter 4 #interaction #translation notes

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peter-parkers-passport · 3 years

Text

Flower Child (Peter Parker x ofc)

Chapter 11: Just a Nobody

I’m really sorry I haven’t been consistent in updating on this platform, I think I’ll just mass update on here and catch up to speed? Idk, it’s a lot and again, I’m sorry. I’m trying to find inspiration to write!

warnings: Peter being rude, angst, depictions of anxiety… sorry 😬, mentions of death

The pair of them didn’t leave the greenhouse until midnight that night. Papers had been scattered around a workbench in the greenhouse under a single lamplight, covered in formulas that had been scratched and edited past legibility. Lila and Peter made an incredible team, much to their surprise, and within just a few short hours, a new webbing formula had been made.

Peter also walked her home, despite Lila reassuring him that he didn’t have to. He merely brushed off her attempts and bid her goodnight at her door. And despite the crazy events, like her almost dying, she went to bed with a smile on her face. Her crush was a superhero, how could she not?

When she went to school the next day, Lila was tired but cheerful. A light kind of air sat in her chest and put her in a good mood, even with the whispers of what happened the day before following her to her locker. She supposed the feeling of falling in an elevator made things like school more enjoyable since they were a part of living, but she attributed her happiness mostly to the two boys who walked quickly over to her locker as soon as they saw her.

“Hey, Lila,” Peter said, lips twitching in a nervous smile.

“Hey, guys, what’s-?”

“So you know?” Both Lila and Peter looked to Ned, whose expression was unreadable. “About-“ His voice lowered into a whisper, “-Peter’s sticky situation?”

A patch of red grew on the boy in question’s face, and he sent an exasperated stare his friend’s way. “Dude, come on, at least think of a better code name.”

“So you know?” Ned asked Lila again, to which she nodded apprehensively. Her eyes flickered to Peter, who offered an apologetic shrug. When she looked back to Ned again, he looked relieved. “Finally. I’ve really needed this, I didn’t know how much longer I could keep it a secret-“

“Ned,” Peter said, “You found out last week.”

“- I thought I was gonna blow it, but I didn’t. And now I can talk to you about how totally amazing this is.” Ned inhaled deeply, launching into a slew of questions. “So how did you know it was him? Are you psychic? Did you psychically connect to Peter, and that’s how he saved your life? Do you have, like, a spider-link now?”

“N-No, it wasn’t anything like that,” Lila answered him, Peter giving her a thankful look that she interrupted Ned’s questioning. She tucked her hair behind her ear before continuing, “Peter disappearing the night before, y-you having the Ch-Chitauri core, and - and the Stark Internship. Just… a lot of it d-didn’t add up.” Lila looked around them to see Michelle walk through the front doors. “Look, I’d b-better go before MJ gets suspicious but I’ll see you guys for fourth.”

Peter and Ned said their goodbyes while Lila walked down the hallway to her friend. Before she could reach MJ, however, Lila was stopped by Betty Brant, who had a fiercely determined look on her face. “Lila,” she practically addressed, her tone was so formal.

“B-Betty,” Lila swallowed, raising her eyebrows in surprise. “Wh-What’s up?”

“Midtown is running a story on the survivors of the almost-tragic Washington Monument scare yesterday. I need to know that you’ll be available for lunch to answer a few questions with the rest of your team. I would do it now, but I don’t have my co-host.” The last sentence ended with a note of bitterness, and Lila tilted her head in concern.

“Oh n-no, where’s - where’s Jason?”

Betty rolled her eyes, “His mom called him out of first period for some stupid dentist appointment and wouldn’t cancel. I’ve told him time and time again that his mom doesn’t understand how brutally competitive journalism can get in the age of technology.” Her eyes narrowed at the apparently sour thought. “Like, she doesn’t even know how embarrassing it was to see Principal Morita’s fall after the floors were waxed with new wax on Flash’s Snapchat story first. That should’ve been our story, but no, Jason had strep throat.” Her tone grew mocking and she put air quotes around “strep throat”. There was a beat of silence, and then, “Anyways, so I’ll see you at lunch?”

At this point, Lila had been daydreaming of a way to get out of the heated one-sided argument. “Sure.”

Satisfied, Betty nodded. “Good. And don’t talk to anyone else about what happened.” She strode away, leaving Lila feeling slightly confused as she walked over to where MJ was standing, watching the whole interaction.

*****

It didn’t go unnoticed that Lila was becoming fast friends with Peter and Ned. Soon enough, in the span of the next two days, they popped up nearly everywhere in her daily life. For some, it was a welcome addition to Lila’s friend count (now up to three). For others, it was a topic of slight confusion.

“I’m not, like, unhappy for you or anything,” Sophie commented one evening in the flower shop. She was watching Peter and Ned leave through the front doors, the cooler air from the outside falling at their feet. “I just didn’t know you were so close.”

Lila and the boys had just brought over some chemicals they’d nicked from school, and finally perfected the stronger webbing for Peter. It was all discreetly put away in a box tucked underneath spare gardening supplies. The box in question was placed in a corner, out of sight and hopefully out of anyone else’s minds that weren’t Peter’s, Lila’s, or Ned’s.

The door had shut by the time Lila turned back to Sophie, a light blush on her cheeks. “Falling in an e-elevator is a surprisingly easy way to m-make friends.” The flicker of suspicion in Sophie’s eyes disappeared almost immediately at Lila’s reply, and for a moment, Lila had the gut-twisting sensation of guilt. It was confusing: she wasn’t actually lying to Sophie, but she was hiding the truth. Plummeting to her death with Ned by her side did craft a strong foundation of friendship at a remarkably fast rate. And being one of about four people who knew Peter’s secret identity also warranted spending more time together than what was considered normal. Only, she couldn’t tell anyone that last part.

Lila hated that her cover story for spending time around the two boys was her near-death experience, but even she couldn’t deny its effectiveness. Sophie stopped asking questions after her comment, and soon started addressing them with the same familiarity as she would Michelle or her dad.

Michelle, whose skepticism came as easy as breathing, wasn’t as easy to persuade. MJ knew Ned was in the elevator with Lila, and her interest in them hanging out didn’t extend farther than a simple statement of, “Ned needs to download the free VPNs I sent you. I don’t want my network data accidentally getting monitored by the government because he’s using the WiFi at your shop.” Which was fine with Lila, Ned would be one less thing to worry about in regards to her most perceptive friend.

However, with Ned deemed not a problem, MJ’s wariness was focused on Peter. If she thought he was sketchy before, it was nothing compared to how she felt after he started to hang out with Lila. Michelle wasn’t much for holding a conversation with people she didn’t know, but the times where she did talk to Peter, it almost always was staged as interrogation. Lila felt sorry for Peter, for she knew MJ was intimidating, and too smart for her own good. She also knew that Michelle’s intention was a heavily-veiled protectiveness for her friend.

Ted Landry seemed to be the only person in Lila’s life who wasn’t suspicious of her new friends. In fact, he was completely clueless. Peter being around Lila more was merely a correlation to him personally checking on her the night she got back from D.C. The worst part was that Ted told Lila that the reason Peter was starting to be around her so much was because he had a crush on her.

“It just seems kind of obvious,” Ted said, ignoring the choking noises Lila emitted after hearing her dad’s thoughts. He merely patted her on the back as she tried to dislodge the granola that she accidentally sent down the wrong pipe. “I practically did the same thing with your mom, we became inseparable.”

Lila wished above all that her dad’s thoughts were the truth. But the brief look in Peter’s eyes that appeared whenever Liz walked by the three of them in the school’s hallways sent those thoughts crawling on all fours to the back of her mind.

*****

Over the next few days, Lila grew privy to the information Peter was gathering over the last week as Spider-Man. It all started with the bank robbers that accidentally decimated Delmar’s bodega, which Lila learned were capable of doing so with the acquisition of illegal weapons. Weapons that happened to have access to alien technology.

Peter and Ned explained that someone was stealing alien technology and fashioning weapons to distribute on the black market. Their target was Damage Control, whose existence was to be the clean-up crew of the Avengers.

“For lack of a better term,” Peter went on, fiddling with the screwdriver in his hand. That Wednesday evening, Peter had Ned and Lila over after he had perused the streets of Queens as Spider-Man. It was then the two boys filled Lila in on their mission. “But basically this department’s been confiscating all the alien tech and Ultron mess for the past eight years. And the helicarriers in Washington? They’re still working on that stuff.”

“And this guy in the wingsuit… the birdman?” Lila asked, trying to keep up with the nearly unbelievable tale.

A spark emitting from one of Peter’s web shooters had him diving back with his screwdriver. Ned, meanwhile, took the reigns. “We’re pretty sure he’s their leader. But they’ve got this stuff nearly on lockdown. Peter figures he must’ve been doing it from the beginning.”

Lila looked back over to Peter, “Do you know who he is? O-Or any kind of clue?”

The web shooter made a clicking noise that seemed to satisfy Peter. He turned away from his desk and set his eyes back on Lila. Shaking his head, he answered, “No, I’ve got no idea. And he got away with some of the stuff that was in the Damage Control trucks. Best guess, I’ll just have to catch them when they’re out selling this stuff again.” He paused, eyebrows furrowed in concentration. And after a moment, he added as an afterthought, “You didn’t happen to catch what Puth assigned for homework, did you? I wasn’t paying attention.”

“Peter, dinner’s on the table - Lila!” May poked her head inside Peter’s door. Lila whipped her head around to see her large grin, and heard Peter hastily slam his desk drawer shut to hide his web shooters. “I had no idea you were here!”

“Hi, May,” Lila smiled, a pale pink dusting her cheeks. “H-How are things?”

“Finer than wine, honey. I feel so bad, I would’ve made more food if I’d’ve known you guys were going to be here.” Her lips pursed briefly as an afterthought came to mind. “Actually, it might be better if you guys hit the road.”

Peter stared at his aunt exasperatedly, “Oh, c’mon May-“

“Uh-uh,” her expression was suddenly stern when her eyes fell on him, “If you’re going to ditch class, then you’re not going to have friends over.” She softened her gaze when she moved back over to Lila and Ned. “You guys need a ride home?”

Lila grabbed her backpack, eyeing Peter and feeling confused. Why would he ditch class? Peter’s eyes met hers before answering her with a jerk of the head to his desk, where the web shooters lay hidden.

“No,” Lila finally answered, brushing off Peter’s answer with a wave of dismay. “N-No, thanks. My neighborhood’s just f-five blocks over.”

*****

Betty Brant released her story on Thursday morning. Apparently Jason actually did have a pretty awful tooth infection, and wasn’t able to co-anchor her story until then. When Lila walked into school, the conversation, which had just begun to die down, picked right back up, and attention was back on the academic decathlon.

Everyone at Midtown pretty much knew of Lila and her inability to confidently socialize with peers, but that didn’t stop them from pointing at her while poorly concealing whispers. So she was left to navigate the crowded hallways alone, doing her best to ignore the eyes that followed her and the sounds of the news story reporting on her brush with death. One thing she did manage to catch was Jason saying, “Thankfully, no one was seriously injured, thanks to Spider-Man. Up next, the Spider mania is sweeping the school, how can you show your Spider spirit?”

And Jason wasn’t wrong. The talk of Spider-Man was re-invigorated at the school news’ story, and if they weren’t talking about the decathlon team, they were talking about Spider-Man. Some people wore shirts they bought from street vendors, and talked about how amazing he was. Flash was the biggest proponent of this, boasting about how Spider-Man made a harrowing rescue, pulling Flash out of harm’s way just in time, and giving him a fist bump right afterwards. All of which was untrue, and Charles and Abraham we’re glad to remind everyone around Flash of the fact.

Lila felt a deep sense of pride as she made her way down the stairs and past the mural. She knew Peter must’ve been at school, and hearing all of the positive thoughts everyone had on his secret identity. She could feel it in the air: pride. A sense of pride that one of New York’s own was a hero, a champion of Queens. Even Lila herself felt that pride, but for other reasons entirely.

She ran into Ned first, who was beaming at the television screen in the corner of the hall. The two of them shared a knowing smile, and the pair launched into a quiet conversation about it in the otherwise loud hallways. Ned spotted Peter ahead of the two of them, and pushed around the students in his way. He and Lila met Peter at the foot of the stairs, all three grinning from ear to ear.

“Dude, dude, dude, what is it like being famous when no one knows it’s you?” Ned asked.

Rather modestly, Peter smiled and gripped the straps of his backpack. “It’s crazy,” he whispered, looking around to make sure other people weren’t listening.

“Crazy,” Ned repeated, almost in awe. “Should we tell everyone?”

Peter still smiled, but his head tilted a little in confusion, “No.”

“Should I tell everyone?”

“No, dude, that’s not a good idea.”

Ned looked to Lila, “Lila could tell everyone.”

“I-I would not,” Lila said, briefly panicked. She felt better seeing Peter let out a breathy laugh. “Really, I w-wouldn’t do it.”

Ned sighed, his hopes dashed. “Well, come on, we’re gonna be late to class.”

Lila was prepared to bid them goodbye, since their classes were on opposite sides of the hallway, but Peter didn’t follow Ned. “I’m not going to class.”

Ned looked at Lila and looked back, apprehensive, “You're already in so much trouble for ditching the decathlon-“

“P-Peter, you can’t keep d-ditching school-“

“Would you listen? I figured it out, right?” Peter’s voice dropped to a whisper. “I’m going to see if my suit can go back to the deal I walked in on the night of Liz’s party and find out where those guys came from. Maybe they can lead me to the wing suit guy, and then I can catch him!”

“But we have a Spanish quiz,” Ned argued.

Peter looked at Ned with an expression that felt a little belittling. He was tired of arguing and clearly didn’t see why Ned and Lila would want him to stay in school. It was a kind of reckless determination that didn’t sit well with Lila at all. “Ned, I’m probably never going to come back here. Mr. Stark is moving the Avengers upstate. So, when I bring this guy in-“

“Dude,” All the excitement from the morning was gone from Ned. “You wanna be a high school dropout?”

“It wouldn’t be like that,” Peter assured him, even though that’s exactly what it sounded like.

“Ned’s right, Peter, you can’t - you can’t just skip school t-to fight crime. High school’s important-“

But Peter wasn’t listening. In fact, he started walking away. “I am so far beyond high school, right now.” And as he turned to a pair of doors that led to the exit, Principal Morita stood in his way.

“Ah, Mr. Parker,” he said, already walking back down the hallway. “Come with me, my office. Ned, Lila, get to class.”

*****

“Here, c’mon,” MJ pulled at Lila’s arm. The girls had a free period, and usually spent it in the library. Lila has fully planned on spending it pretending to do her homework when in actuality she was just going to worry about Peter.

Skipping school just wasn’t like him. Lila thought he was getting caught up in his situation. True, it was extraordinary beyond belief, and there was no way to tell how she would handle it, but she thought Peter had more grit than what he was showing. School was important, almost if not equally as important as the crime Peter fought in the afternoons.

And then there was the issue of Tony Stark, and Peter’s idea of where he stood. Peter had the mindset that he had to prove himself to Tony Stark in order to be fully accepted into a world he’d always dreamt of, but that made little sense to Lila. In her mind, Tony Stark already was accepting of Peter. If he wasn’t, he wouldn’t have given Peter the suit.

Those were the thoughts Lila distracted herself with in her first two periods, anyway. She’d planned on delving further into her worry during her free time next period. That is, until MJ changed their plans. “And where are we going?” Lila asked, allowing herself to be steered by her taller friend.

“I’ve been sketching the kids in detention,” she answered, ”Lila, they’re the perfect inspiration: they basically all just sit and wonder if they’re lives are going to spiral out of control. Like first, it’s detention, next it’s prison. I mean, you can’t get that kind of raw panic anywhere else.”

“I’m slightly worried you seem so excited about this,” Lila muttered, filing into the classroom where detention was being held. Coach Wilson was already perched at the desk, the TV on the stand waiting to play the Captain America tape that was at the ready. Michelle sat at the edge of the classroom, and Lila sat with her, already pulling out her homework.

She thought she got a few odd stares from the one or two kids that were further in the room, since Lila had never been in any kind of trouble in her life. Even though her presence wasn’t mandatory, she was still unsettled at the thought of being so close to a trouble she had no interest in ever being a part of. She only felt slightly better when Peter walked through the door as the bell rang. He eyed her suspiciously, and seemingly answered his own question when his gaze slid over to Michelle, who was already sketching away.

Peter looked antsy. Sitting in his seat, Lila could see the tension in his shoulders as Coach Wilson lazily went over the rules of detention from his desk chair. He proceeded to play the clip of Captain America lecturing the kids in detention, but Lila could tell Peter wasn’t taking in a word of it. She was considering shooting him a text when suddenly he shot up and grabbed his backpack. He marched out of the room without another word.

After a moment’s hesitation, Lila made the decision to go after him. She told Michelle she’d be right back and hurried after her friend. When she caught up to him, he’d reached the row of lockers where he hid things and lifted it one-handed. Despite her worry, Lila watched him in awe, having to take a second to adjust to the fact that he did actually have super strength.

When the moment ended, her sense caught up to her. “Peter!” She called out, jogging the rest of the way up to him. He turned, impatience dotting across his features. “You can’t go.”

“Lila, I don’t have time-“

“But you do,” She insisted. “Y-You do have time. You can’t just - just leave.”

“Yes, I can,” Peter actually rolled his eyes. It stung Lila more than she thought it would. “Look, you don’t understand, I’ve gotta do this for Mr. Stark. Now, I’ve really gotta go.”

He tried to turn away, but in a bold move, Lila grabbed his arm, “T-Tony Stark is a c-certified genius, and even he stayed in school. Why can’t you?”

“Because when the Avengers move upstate, I’ve gotta be there. The best school I could have would be by learning from him. Who knows, maybe - maybe I’ll get a tutor or something-“

“P-Peter, you’re chasing a-approval from someone who already gave it to you. I mean - look at what y-you’ve already done. The whole school’s b-been talking about it for the entire w-week.”

“Lila,” irritation at still being in school was what made Peter grow short. Lila flinched at the tone. “You don’t get it. I can do so much more if he could just see it, that’s why I’ve gotta go.”

“You do so much, Peter. You - you saved my life twice-“

Peter snapped, “Lila, stop. I’ve made up my mind. I can’t just be Peter Parker anymore, you know? I finally have a chance to prove that I’m so much more than just a nobody now. Because while that might be fine for you, it’s not for me.” The words left his mouth harsh and bitter before his mind could even keep up. Peter didn’t even realize what he’d said until he watched Lila take a step back.

White hot anger burned her skin and flushed her face. Hurt came quickly after, and Lila blinked furiously to stop the tears from rushing to the surface. She released a short breath and made eye contact with Peter. He felt bad, she could tell, but he didn’t offer any kind of apology.

So much for being friends.

“You w-wonder what that life is like, Peter? Being an - an Avenger?” Her voice was quiet, more quiet than normal, but the emotion seemed to amplify it down the empty hallways. “I’ll t-tell you. It’s staring d-down at people who are dead for the sole r-reason that pure evil just likes it that way. It’s being unable to s-save the people you love most, and l-living with that when all is said and - and done.”

“Lila, I-“

She angrily brushed the lone tear away that managed to escape. “You wanna hear wh-what I think? I think that if - if Tony Stark wanted you to b-be like him, he would’ve given you an I-Iron Man suit. Instead he gave you the Spider-Man suit. But what do I know, r-right? I’m just a nobody.” She gave Peter, the boy who broke her heart, one last look. “Good luck out there.”

And she turned around, walking away from Peter Parker with a few tears falling down her face.

#peter parker #spider-man #tom holland #mcu x ofc #peter parker x reader #peter parker fic #spiderman x ofc #spiderman homecoming #spiderman #peter parker x ofc #marvel

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talkinbouttinygames · 3 years

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Guildlings, ”And I knew everything would be fine.“

Heads up, this issue is gonna be a little something different. Although it relates to a game I enjoyed, unlike previous issues this one isn’t meant to be a recommendation - partially due to being an exclusive title for a games subscription. Also, beware major spoilers for the video game Guildlings. On with the show!

When I was younger, and just beginning to get myself acquainted with the idea of creative writing for the first time since English class in first grade, I had an idea for a story. Comparatively, my ability to understand and craft metatextual horseshit was thoroughly trained even back then, and thus the story idea I came up with was this: a group of young adventurers headed by the protagonist all embark on some sort of Epic Quest. They face many battles as they travel, and just as many personal hardships, and after the hardest fight yet three-fourths of the way through the story that sets up the final conflict, the group gets a short period of rest in some cottage or other similar place. The fire is warm, the light is soothing, all of the adventurers much appreciate the time to just enjoy themselves together, and there, in that cottage, the protagonist remarks that in that moment ‘I knew everything would be fine’, and the story ends.

I could tell back then that I wasn’t nearly experienced enough as a writer to even dream of writing out the story at that moment, least of all the fact that its genre was one known for having longrunning polynovel series, so I kept it with me. I still haven’t written it. Even with much more experience, I haven’t even come close to experience with a story of that magnitude. In the intervening time I’ve had many other story ideas, some of which I’ve written, some of which I’ve saved for later (but an earlier later than this story) - maybe I’ll never write it. But it’s stuck with me. I’ve added on details to it in the time since then, and the ideas behind that story are ones that have predicted most of my creative writing output after.

A fortnight ago I finished playing Guidlings. It’s a very enjoyable and interesting game, and I highly recommend it to anyone who can shell out money for (or use up their free trail on) an Apple Arcade subscription. Shame, shame, I know. The game itself is a cellphone-themed JRPG where the protagonist, Coda, after finally getting a used phone (called a tome) from her sister Syb, boots it up only to find it’s auto-started an old Hero software app because, yeah, the milleaux of Guildlings is a magical realist one where Fantasy Cellphone heroes used to be a big era of the past, and their legacy is felt all around the world. The software assigns Coda the role of guildmaster - a figure who guides various guildlings on heroic quests like the player of any JRPG - and encases her in an unbreakable bubble on her bed until she can complete a Major Quest.

As being in an unbreakable bubble is a bit of a showstopper for anything else you have planned, she and her sister devise a ‘major quest’ in order to break the bubble as soon as possible - get Syb to a date with her boyfriend Haas and back home safely. However, the seemingly simple quest quickly turns more and more convoluted as it’s discovered that something’s been tearing out pieces of the world and sending them floating high into the sky, one of which is actually the two sisters’ house with Coda still inside.

Guildlings bills itself as a casual RPG, as combat is based on surviving to the end of a set number of turns without running out of health, or as the game calls it, battery. This by itself is a change from JRPGs I’ve played before, but another interesting design choice that belies Guildlings’ strengths is that experience points aren’t gained from fights, but from how Coda responds in conversation with the various friends she picks up as guildlings as the game goes by. And the characters are well-written enough to support this kind of focus - I love all of them, and getting to know them was a delight.

I played Guildlings in an amount of dedication and excitement that grew exponentially - first casually picking the game up, then actively prioritizing it for playing, and then knocking out every sidequest assigned to me in one big spree, before binge-playing the game as I felt it creep closer to the end. There I had reached a point where one of my favourite guildlings had just gone through character development and gained a new skill, with the entire guild hot on the trail of whatever was cutting up the world. The lift that would take the group further into a deep woods where the worldcutter seemed to be heading had the characters remark that it was likely going to be a while before I had the chance to swap out the party, so I deliberated for a few minutes on which guildlings I wanted to bring along, before embarking on the next stage of the journey... and the credits rolled.

I didn’t know what to think. I sat there, shocked, before opening up my save again, going through the motions, only to get the same result. Frustration welled up - I wanted to know what happened next, damn it! And then I began to laugh.

So that’s what it’s like.

A former friend who I once described my story to told me that if they had been the one reading it they’d have thrown the book onto the floor. I can’t really blame them. After another few minutes of double-checking with a different party, I went to the Guildlings wbesite. Though the website itself is fairly minimalistic, the press kit page describes the game as episodic - and upon checking the social media for the game while writing this, it appears that I actually had played the game up the second episode - so it seems the story will go farther than this.

Except that game development takes time. And I only ever buy entertainment subscriptions for a year. As much as I love the game, I can’t justify the 6 sawbuck pricetag for a year of Apple Arcade if it’s the only game I’ll play. And while I can just cancel and not re-instate the subscription ‘til the next installment’s out, the future is a busy place, and people move on from things. The thing about installment media is that so often, for so many people, the thing that comes along and takes people’s attention away from a serialized work in the in-between time doesn’t have to be better. It only has to be newer.

So maybe all that I’ll ever know of the story of Coda and her friends is everything up ‘til they start to really get into the meat of their journey. But regardless, I have the unshakeable feeling that for them, everything will be fine.

#Video Games #Indie #Talkin' 'Bout Tiny Games #Guildlings #Essay #Writin' on Tiny Games

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jingers994 · 3 years

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Hey. So. I haven't ever actually made a real post on here like ever, even back in the day when I actually used Tumblr. That's just not what I used it for, I just followed artists & writers whose work I enjoyed. Lots of them have stopped posting since I left in 2016, but to anyone I'm still following who does still post stuff, that's probably because you're awesome and I love your work. <3 Shoutout to literally every person who actually sees this post, never stop being cool. I first joined in 2014, and I left around mid-2016. So in the years since making this account I've spent less time off Tumblr than on it, and enough of the accounts I used to interact with have left that I don't expect any response to this post. I guess I'm just venting. During the 2014-2017 period I was attending university full time. I graduated, so yay for me. I stopped following a lot of web comics and serials that I used to read around 2017, because I kind of just didn't have enough time in the day anymore, and playing video games was a more efficient and less mentally draining way to unwind. Even before that I was essentially just a ghost in those communities, I never really interacted with any of the artists or other fans, I just consumed what they were making and hoped that they kept making it. To this day, not making an effort to become involved in any of those small communities is maybe one of my biggest regrets. Many of them have either entered indefinite hiatus, just became very quiet, and some have finished or just stopped altogether for other reasons. The web culture I wanted to come back and interact with, in large part, doesn't really exist anymore; it was a product of its time, and time has made everyone move on. I can mostly still go back and grab archived copies of the stories and comics themselves, but the communities, the active fans waiting for new episodes and discussing old ones, are basically gone from public view. Many of the artists I used to follow haven't had active accounts that I can find since 2016, or 2015, or earlier, and even if I did want to just drop a heartfelt message thanking them for making something so treasured and nostalgic to me, they'll likely never read it. Maybe lack of such community feedback is why they stopped posting, and people like me are why those projects ended. After graduating, I just needed time to mentally recuperate from the draining final year, and I never really managed to recover all of the interests I used to have or pick up my old online haunts & habits again. They just fell by the wayside because my horribly depressed brain didn't want to spend energy thinking about them. I think I might be starting to ramble. Since graduating, I've pretty much put my personal life totally 'on ice' until I found a job, or went back into postgraduate study. I just didn't think it would take so long, and I was far too shy and embarrassed to continue answering questions about 'what I was doing now'. The years since graduating have very much not been kind to me, and making these decisions was a mistake. Culture isn't something that just 'exists' behind a screen, waiting for you to look at it; it's created by the interaction between artists and their fans, and producers and consumers, and people exchanging ideas. Refusing to engage in this because you just want to look at the final product, kills the culture. So, so many things I used to enjoy are no longer enjoyable to me, and that's my fault for engaging in extreme time-wasting, and spending no energy *trying* to enjoy them anymore. So many things I used to enjoy, are no longer being worked on for a number of reasons, and I guess you could say that's sort of my fault as well, or at least is maybe the fault of people like me. I've always been a bit of a data hoarder, and just recently I was backing up stuff on an old hard drive into a newer one in case it failed, and I came across copies of webcomics I haven't really thought about for close to 5 years. I also happened to be listening to a song that I used to listen to a lot back in the day but haven't for years, and the nostalgia rush literally made me cry. After backing up everything else I could find on that hard drive, I rushed to try and look for anything I could remember I was interested in that was still on the internet, which also lead me back here. Some of you, if anyone is reading this at all, might remember the Drowtales: Moonless Age webcomic. Or you might remember Girl Genius, or Exiern, or the Whateley Universe web stories. You might have gotten into the Fallen London universe, maybe via the Sunless Sea/Skies games. You might have looked at some CYOAs from way back when, or checked out the Jumpchain or Exalted threads on SpaceBattles or SufficientVelocity. You probably haven't, because even if 3 or 4 people actually do read this it's unlikely they have the same interests I used to, but that's okay. I used to quietly geek out about these things for hours on end, and my life has honestly been lesser since I stopped doing that. I've had a horrid, wistful lump inside my stomach since yesterday when I started looking for these things, and I've felt like I'm on the verge of crying ever since as well. After 2 and a bit years of grey, empty anhedonia this is a huge win, and I'm very glad that finding these things again has wrangled some emotion out of me. Many of these projects are still active, several communities actually are still around, and I've resolved to go and introduce myself, no matter whether it makes me anxious to do so or not. Not doing so back when they were more active is an enormous regret, and I don't want that to happen again. I'm hoping to extend this mindset out into the real world as well, and hopefully I'll be arranging some volunteering, part-time study and/or going back and trying to publish some of the work I did in my last year of university, finally. Everyone's been memeing about the 'curse of 2020' for a while now, but I think 2020 was just the culmination of some horrible stuff happening since as early as 2015, and it feels like the final verse of some grotesque voodoo curse on the entire planet. Hopefully it's going to get better from now on. I've never been what you'd call an optimist, or an extrovert, but I really do hope that reaching out to like-minded people can help life be better than it has been. No idea if I'll keep looking through Tumblr, since the buyout and all that, but I guess I'll probably check in from time to time now that I've had this revelation, haha. Anyone who actually took the time to read this; first of all what are you still doing on Tumblr after the porn purge, lmao. Secondly, You're great, and I really hope life has been treating you better than it has me. Have a good one!

#nostalgia #personal vent

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6ftslytherin · 3 years

Text

Side A

Merula Snyde woke up to the sound of stairs squeaking. She lifted her hand to her face and wiped her eyes. She had half a mind to pull the cover of her sleeping bag higher. Sleeping some more didn't seem so bad.

Then she heard the little girl she was sharing the room with run out the door. Of course Ginny would be excited. Christmas with the family is always a good time. Not that Merula had a Snyde family Christmas in a long time.

"Merula." Merula sat up slowly. She looked to her right. Sabine was squatting next to her. She was already fully dressed. She wore nothing special, a short sleeve grey v-neck and cuffed blue jeans. Knowing her, that outfit probably cost more than anything at your run of the mill Asda. "Good morning." She said with a smile.

"Could you at least pretend it's cold?" Merula asked as she got out of the sleeping bag. The Burrow had gotten obviously colder as the night had worn on. Sabine smiled a bit more. "What are you so happy about?" Merula asked as the two of them stood up.

"I'm just thinking how adorable you look in my pullover." Merula looked down. She most certainly was wearing Sabine's hoodie. She had forgotten she stole it from Sabine's bag last night. "It's not like you ever wear it." Merula said as she pulled the hood over her head. "You can have it. I don't mind." Sabine said.

For some reason Sabine's hoodies were significantly warmer than any of Merula's. "It wouldn't have anything to do with it having my scent on it, would it?" Sabine asked with a mocking grin. "Because your sweaty B.O. is pleasant." Merula sarcastically said as she pulled the drawstrings tight.

She heard Sabine laugh. Merula did like her scent. It was a delightful flowery scent that made her feel oddly safe. Merula felt something on the tip of her nose. She loosened the drawstrings. Sabine had put her finger on it. Sabine removed her finger and replaced it with a kiss.

"Merry Christmas Merula." Sabine said. Merula smiled a little. "Merry Christmas Sabine." She said back. "You should get dressed. Mrs. Weasley wants us to eat before we open presents. Ron's getting antsy." Sabine said before walking out of the room.

Sabine poked her head back in. "Don't forget to take your pill." She said. "Did you remember to take your's?" Merula asked back. Sabine thought for a moment. "No." Sabine dug through her bag and took out a small orange bottle and took a pill out of it. "Thanks." Sabine said as she headed downstairs.

Merula smiled again. Sabine always forgot to take her antidepressant. It was weird, but reminding Sabine made her feel a little useful. Sabine always made her feel special.

She helped her feel better about herself than anyone else did. Sabine had shown her that vulnerability wouldn't kill her. That's why she was going to do something special later.

Side B

Sabine Lowell had gotten out of the shower after an early morning jog. Ottery St. Catchpole had a rustic charm that was sorely missing at Hogwarts or at home. It would be more accurate to say that she had taken a fast viewing of the town.

Sabine enjoyed Christmas with the Weasleys. It was much more enjoyable than that time she went home in 1st year. Her mother telling her family about how she had gotten her period and commenting on her flat chest had definitely sullied the idea of being home at this time of year.

Sometimes Sabine thought that her mother overstepped boundaries. Then again, maybe she had been the one to misunderstand. Anyway, the Weasleys were great to be around. Especially since Merula came too. Any time spent with Merula was enjoyable.

Sabine walked down to the living room to wait for more people to wake up. She looked at her watch. It was 7:22 AM. She heard the stairs creak. It was Mrs. Weasley.

"Good morning Sabine. Merry Christmas." She said. "Good morning Mrs. Weasley. Will you be needing any help with breakfast?" Sabine said in turn. "I wouldn't mind another set of hands." Mrs. Weasley said as she got out some pans.

After some time breakfast was ready and more Weasleys had come down. "Sabine, would you mind checking on Ginny and Merula?" Mrs. Weasley asked. "No problem." Sabine said as she ascended the stairs.

Sabine heard the stairs squeaking ahead of her. She pushed herself against the wall as Ginny squeezed past her. Sabine opened the door to Ginny's room.

There Merula was rubbing her eyes in a similar sleeping bag to hers. She squatted next to her. "Merula." Sabine said. Merula looked at her. Sabine could barely stand to see her.

Merula's bed head was adorable. Some people would say Merula's hair was like that all the time. Sabine however could tell the special cuteness Merula had first thing in the morning. Sabine smiled at her. "Good morning." Sabine said.

"Could you at least pretend It's cold?" Merula asked as she got out of the sleeping bag. Holy hell. She was wearing Sabine's hoodie. Was it possible for her to ever be any cuter? She smiled more. "What are you so happy about?" Merula asked while they stood up.

"I'm just thinking how adorable you look in my pullover." Sabine said. Merula looked down at herself. Her face got redder. Turns out it was possible for her to get cuter.

"It's not like you ever wear it." Merula said as she did her best to not make eye contact while pulling the hood up. "You can have it. I don't mind." Sabine had plenty of pullovers to give away.

Sabine knew Merula liked her scent. Sabine liked Merula's scent too, but it was more entertaining to tease Merula about it. "It wouldn't have anything to do with it having my scent on it, would it?" Sabine said with a smirk.

"Because your sweaty B.O. is pleasant." Merula pulled the drawstrings tight. The only part of her face left visable was her noise. Sabine laughed. She was an active person so there was a possibilty of her clothes smelling like sweat. Luckily her mother always made sure to cast a scent charm on her clothes before the school year.

Sabine put her finger on Merula's nose. The drawstrings loosened. More of Merula's face was revealed. Sabine removed her finger and kissed her on the nose.

"Merry Christmas Merula." Merula smiled. "Merry Christmas Sabine." "You should get dressed. Mrs. Weasley wants us to eat before we open presents. Ron's getting antsy." Sabine said before walking out of the room.

Wait a minute. Sabine went back into the room. "Don't forget to take your pill." She said. "Did you remember to take your's?" Merula asked back. Sabine thought for a moment.

"No." Sabine dug through her bag and took out a small orange bottle and took a pill out of it. "Thanks." Sabine said as she went back to the kitchen for a glass of water.

Despite what people thought, Merula was so thoughtful. She was one of the most special people in the world. If she hadn't been there with her she wasn't she could have come out last spring. That's why she was going to do something special later.

Side A

Merula was walking to the forest next to the Burrow. She was carrying two mugs and a thermos. Sabine had told her go sneak out after 9. "Merula!" She looked over and saw a clearing. Sabine was next to a small fire. Merula walked over.

"How are you?" Sabine asked. "I'm freezing my ass off." Merula said as she tightened her scarf. "That's too bad. I quite like it." Sabine didn't have a coat on. The warmest thing she had on was her new rainbow sweater Mrs. Weasley had knitted.

Merula wore a matching one. The only difference being the S on Sabine's and the M on Merula's. "Why are you asking when we've only been apart two hours?" "Sorry, it's just that we haven't been alone since this morning."

Merula looked around. The clearing was decorated. There were floating jars that contained multicolored glowing lights. Close to the fire was a small bench that was just big enough for two with a blanket hanging over the back. On the sides of the bench were tables that looked like stumps.

Merula was impressed she had done all of this in two hours just for her. Sabine picked up the blanket. "Would you mind sitting down?" Sabine asked. Merula sat the cups and thermos on the table to her left. Sabine sat down and threw the blanket around the two of them.

"I thought it would be nice to have some time together." Sabine said, snuggling up against Merula. "After all, you're the most special girl in the world. I love these little moments with you."

"Don't be a dork." Merula said with a smile. She rubbed her head on Sabine's shoulder. "You like me when I'm a dork." Sabine said before putting a kiss on Merula's head. Sabine was such a stupid, cute, dork. "But... I love being with you too."

Side B

Sabine was glad Merula was happy. She had made several plans for Christmas but in the end was only able to pick one. If the slightest thing had gone wrong she might have freaked out.

Sabine came back from her thoughts when she felt Merula take her head off her shoulder. Merula had turned to the left and was doing something.

She turned back and was holding two steaming mugs. "I made us hot chocolate from scratch. Dark chocolate, no lactose. I wouldn't want you running to the bathroom." Merula said with red cheeks. "I couldn't think of anything that would measure up to whatever you did. So I thought it would be better to make something we could both enjoy."

"Is that why you wouldn't let me in the kitchen?" Sabine asked as she took one of the mugs. "Maybe." Merula let out a little laugh. "Your doing that stupid smile again." She said. Sabine forced herself to stop smiling. "Knock it off. I like it."

Side A

Merula watched as Sabine used her free hand to push some of her hair behind her ear. Merula loved when she did that hair push and that goofy smile of her's. It was a rare treat when she showed her real one. It was significantly different than her normal rehearsed smile.

Merula didn't like how Sabine's parents had messed her up enough to make her practice perfect smiles. She knew that the two of them accepted nothing less than perfection. Which was worse, parents that could never be there or parents that demanded no mistakes?

"Thank you." Sabine said as the smile came back. The parents situation didn't matter right now. What mattered right now was that the two of them were isolated from the rest of the world.

Side B

Sabine took a sip from her mug. Merula did the same. It was most certainly dark chocolate with a hint of cinnamon. Sabine loved Merula's cooking. When she spent a couple of summer days at Merula's house she got to eat her delicious food.

"You did a wonderful job." Sabine said. "You are truly the best chef in all of Hogwarts." Merula smiled. "I know." Sabine stared at Merula's face. She thought back to February.

"It will be our anniversary in two months." Sabine said. Merula was quite for a moment. "Yeah. I guess it will be. It seems longer." She said, "I can't believe we'll be having our first anniversary." There was a sense of eagerness in her voice.

Side A

Merula's heart was beating hard. Her first anniversary with her girlfriend. It didn't seem real. She had been so deep in the closet a year ago. She was expecting to spend anniversaries with a guy she didn't love in order to seem normal.

"Sabine?" "Hm?" "Could I hold your hand?" "No problem." Merula took Sabine's hand in her's. It was warm from the mug and her skin was soft. Her fingers were much longer than her own.

"Sabine?" "Yeah?" Merula swallowed hard. "Since our anniversary is so close to Valentine's day and your birthday could we... go somewhere? Like... Madam Puddifoot's?"

"I thought you said that place was for pansies." Sabine said. "I know what I said. But that was before I had anyone to go with." Merula said. She waited on pins and needles for Sabine's answer.

"I'll take you anywhere you want." Sabine said. It was a massive relief. "But are you sure your ready for that? You don't have to force yourself to do anything." Sabine followed up with. "Yeah. I think I'm ready to go on a public date with you. I mean, I like our private dates but I want to show you off. So that everbody knows that the two best witches are together."

Merula sometimes felt that she made Sabine keep one foot in the closet. It wasn't until the start of the school year that Merula had come out publicly. As apposed to Sabine having been out since April.

Merula had felt a deep shame when she finally realized she would only ever have feelings for girls. She had bullied others that she had perceived as gay. To find out that she herself was one of them, people she had called perverts, was soul crushing.

Yet, Sabine had been there for her. She made her feel like maybe it wasn't so bad. That her life was still worth living, even if she would do it with another girl by her side.

"Merula?" "Yeah?" Sabine had started to blush. "Thank you for being my girlfriend. I love you."

Side B

Sabine had been told months ago by her mother that her feelings would turn out to just be a phase. Her father continued to advertise the sons of his Ministry colleagues as possible future husbands. It was okay for other people to be gay but not their own child. Sabine was not allowed to have flaws.

But Merula... It had been a rocky start but Sabine coming out to her had brought them closer together. Eventually resulting in Sabine breaking down and telling Merula about her feelings for her. Feelings she was not allowed to have. Feelings that could and should never be returned.

But Merula did feel the same. She liked her back. Merula, her long time enemy had become her friend and then girlfriend. She had never been happier.

Merula had kept her going. She was an important piece of her retaining her sanity. And she genuinely loved her. She was sure of that. She needed Merula to know how thankful she was.

Merula's cheeks turned redder. She squeezed Sabine's hand. "Don't be stupid. You don't need to thank me. I love you too. You helped me find out who I am. If anyone should do some thanking it's me."

Merula leaned against Sabine. "Besides, I love you more." She said. "Too bad, because I love you more." Said Sabine. "Impossible. I love you more." Said Merula. "I guess we'll just have to be here for the rest of eternity arguing about who loves who more." "If it's eternity with you, I don't mind."

"Merry Christmas Merula."

"Merry Christmas Sabine."

#hogwarts mystery #hphm #hphm mc #merula snyde #the burrow #mc x merula #jacob's sibling x merula #Christmas #fanfic #hphm fanfiction #sabine lowell #Sabine x Merula

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ramblingthoughtsofayoungadult · 4 years

Text

What a Night-Chuck Bass Imagine

Requested: Yes

Warnings: mentions of sexual harassment and usual party shenanigans

Gif is from slytherinnpride

Estelle’s “American Boy” blasted throughout the entire Plaza penthouse. The penthouse was filled with the Upper East Side elite’s teenage children, all wearing the nicest night out clothes money could buy. The endless flow of Dom Perignon, multiple seduction attempts, and short trips to the back bathroom would have one convinced that it was a typical Friday night high school party. In a way, it was a typical high school party.

But it was Wednesday.

Y/N Y/L/N had been snapping about that fact since Y/B/F/N burst into her bedroom an hour prior, commanding that Y/N join her at Dina Maxfield’s party. While Y/N was not the biggest party animal, she did like to attend a few here and there; she could not get into Princeton with subpar grades after all? But, her enthusiasm for attending parties was drastically diminshed after Lucas broke up with her via text. So, Y/N was more than happy hiding away from high school and all other high society parties in the safety of her room, watching Buffy: The Vampire Slayer.

“Y/N, it has been a month since it happened!” Y/B/F/N had declared as she teetered further into Y/N’s room in her towering Louboutin stilettos. “The appropriate mourning period is over and it’s time for you to have fun!”

Y/N’s nose immediately wrinkled in distaste and she had burrowed herself further into her bed, as though her blankets were steel and not cashmere. “Go away,” she’d groaned.

Y/B/F/N had continued to ignore Y/N as she stormed into her closet and began rifling around the expansive area. “You have all these amazing pieces and you refuse to take any opportunity to wear them.” After selecting the most amazing dress to go with some Chanel pumps, she returned to Y/N.

The poor girl had simply laid in her bed, y/e/c eyes looking dead as she watched the plasma TV mounted on her wall. For Y/N, it could have always been worse, she could not have the energy to try to go to school. At least she was moving.

Y/B/F/N had sighed and sat next to her. “I know this breakup hurt you a lot, but, you cannot let him hobble you like this. He definitely hasn’t been holed up in his house watching TV every night.” She shook her head. “I know you don’t wanna hear this, Y/N, but, things will only get worse while you’re here.”

“But...I need to know how this episode ends,” Y/N had muttered.

“You have TiVo!”

Y/N was not quite sure when she broke, somewhere between being forced into that Gaultier dress she thought she’d never wear and arguing against having her hair flat-ironed, but she did know, deep inside, that Y/B/F/N was right. She was sick of missing out on all the coolest parties and the most insane antics. Lucas was never that fun to go out with anyway, he always got too jealous if a boy even glanced at Y/N. Y/B/F/N had to be a better party partner.

Y/B/F/N snatched up some glasses of Dom and handed one to Y/N. “To getting out of the house!”

“To getting out of the house,” Y/N echoed.

The glasses clinked and Y/N savored the taste of the expensive champagne. The song switched to Lady Gaga’s “Paparazzi” and Y/B/F/N coaxed Y/N into dancing to it.

“One second.” Y/N downed the rest of the champagne, grabbed another glass, and let Y/B/F/N drag her out onto the dancefloor.

Y/B/F/N shimmied her hips to the music and playfully twirled Y/N around, causing the other girl to laugh. As she kept drinking, Y/N found it even more enjoyable to laugh and laughed so hard, her stomach cramped.

“It’s been so long since I laughed like that,” Y/N breathed absent-mindedly.

“Hey, I’ll have whatever you’re having,” Serena teased as she hugged her from behind.

“Hi!” Y/N squealed as she clumsily threw her arms around Serena.

Serena chuckled as she helped Y/N balance. “How much has she had to drink?” She mouthed to Y/B/F/N.

Y/B/F/N held up two fingers in response and Serena’s eyes widened. “It’s been awhile.”

Y/N and the blonde were not the best of friends, but they were close enough since second grade. Whenever Blair didn’t go to a party, Y/N would be the one to hold Serena’s hair back as she threw up in the bathroom. Y/N was so proud that Serena was doing better since she came back.

Serena wore a white sequined mini dress with silver pencil-thin Jimmy Choo pumps. Her hair fell down to her back in free curls.

“Hey, I’m glad that you came out tonight; I’ve missed you,” Serena said as she pulled Y/N to stand at arms-length.

“Same. I would have been out sooner but Y/B/F/N dragged me,” Y/N giggled.

“She’ll thank me later,” Y/B/F/N breathed.

Y/N was not sure how much time past but she knew she had around four drinks when she heard Rihanna’s “Please Don’t Stop the Music”. Y/N threw her head back.

“I love this song!” Her closed eyes and high pitched voice punctuated her emotions.

Kati and Isabelle, who had been sitting in the same area of couches as her, giggled at Y/N.

“Do you wanna dance?” Y/N swung herself forward, gripping the couch beneath her for leverage. “I’m gonna dance.”

Y/N bounced back out onto the dancefloor, giggling as she threw her hands in the air and twirled. She tossed her head back and forth, rolled her neck, and kick, ball changed at some point. She didn’t care, she didn’t care and it was wonderful. There was no Lucas to drag her off the dancefloor, no students who may be documenting this for later; it was just her and Rihanna.

And something hard pressing against th small of her back.

Y/N lazily opened her eyes and furrowed her brow. At first, she thought it may be Y/B/F/N joking around, but then, she spotted Y/B/F/N across the room, doing jello shots with some basketball players.

“You’re so hot,” a guttural voice husked in her ear.

Y/N’s stomach tightened and she felt her body tense up. “Thanks?”

A pair of thick hands began roaming over her body, squeezing harshly in the places with more fat. Y/N yelped and grabbed at the wrists.

“Okay, that’s enough.” She tried to keep her voice ligthhearted as she took some steps away from the person. She did not get far in the crowd when she was yanked back by her wrist.

Y/N gagged on the fog of CK One and looked up into some angry green eyes. Then, she noted the navy Brooks Brothers polo and chinos. Trevor Addison, captain of the swim team.

“C’mon, Y/N, relax, it’s a party,” he chided.

“I am relaxed. I just...I just need to find Y-Y-Y/B/F/N,” she stuttered out.

Trevor tsked at her and pulled her against his sweaty chest. “You don’t sound too good; let me take you to the bedroom so you can lie down, it’s the least I could do.”

Trevor started pulling her in the direction of the bedroom and Y/N did her best to fight it. Unfortunately, her inhibited motor skills were making her fumble and flail instead of fight.

“Let go of me!” she cried, but no one could hear her over the music.

Trevor laughed callously. “Please, don’t act like you didn’t want this, dressed like the slut you are!” Y/N pushed against him, tears welling in her eyes. “Stop it, Trevor!”

“No!” Trevor snapped. “Peter, Jack, Will, and Lucas all bragged about how good you are in bed. Now, it’s my turn!”

Y/N’s stomach dropped as the tears started to roll down her cheeks. With everything going on with Serena, Blair, Nate, Chuck, Dan, and Jenny, Y/N’s stunts went under the radar. She felt the dark cloud of shame hang over her and wondered if that was why no one really approached her after her breakup with Lucas despite her not really being social or open.

“Trevor, can’t you hear? Y/N isn’t into it or you,” Chuck drawled.

Y/N perked up and could not keep herself from gaping at Chuck. He stood behind Trevor, his shoulders relaxed and dark eyes staring right at Trevor. An outsider would think Chuck looked bored, but it was the total opposite. In fact, he was enraged and it looked like it was taking everything in his power for him not to punch Trevor.

Trevor laughed in Chuck’s face. “Oh? And what are you gonna do? You can’t buy me off, Chuck, my father owns the biggest media conglomerate on the east coast!”

“That assumption is almost laughable, but I can assure you,” Chuck took a step closer, “if you do not leave Y/N alone, you will be thrown out of here once every member of the soccer team has a turn kicking your ass.”

Trevor narrowed his eyes at Chuck. “They wouldn’t!”

“Sure, they would.” Chuck continued glaring at Trevor for a moment. It felt like a decade to Y/N and she would have moved if she didn’t think it would escalate the situation.

Trevor huffed and pushed Y/N towards Chuck. “Whatever, you can have the whore.”

Chuck grabbed Y/N by the forearms. “Oh, I wouldn’t have said that if I were you.”

Chuck waved someone over and seconds later, Trevor was surrounded by Nate and the rest of the soccer team.

“Let’s take this outside, shall we?” Nate asked rhetorically.

A couple of his teammates pushed Trevor in the direction of the door and everyone stared after them in shock. As soon as they disappeared, the party resumed.

Chuck scanned over Y/N’s face. “Are you alright?”

Y/N nodded. “Yeah...I’m fine.”

“You’re crying.”

“What?”

“It’s fine.” Chuck gently led Y/N to another bathroom, sat her on the counter, and handed her some tissue. “It’s not your style to come to parties alone.”

Y/N snifled as she blew her nose. “I’m here with Y/B/F/N.” She sniffed and shook her head. “She wanted me to come out tonight and this happens.”

“Don’t let that neanderthal keep you from having a good time. Tonight’s the first time I’ve seen you not looking like a zombie,” Chuck argued.

“Chuck Bass has been watching me? That’s a shocker,” Y/N dead-panned. “I thought you were busy with the nightclub and Blair.”

Chuck glanced away and his jaw clenched at the mention of the brunette. “While I appreciate your concern, Vitrola is doing just fine. As for Blair, that isn’t a matter of concern.”

“Oh, sorry, I haven’t been keeping up with, well, anything going on.”

Chuck nodded. “Lucas had you in a vacuum, didn’t he?”

Y/N shrugged. “But it was nice, he was nice for a while. I’d like to say I don’t know where anything went wrong, but I do know. He didn’t like that I wasn’t always available, but, I have a life!”

Y/N was unaware of the force of her words until they came out and she immediately shrank back when she realized what she had said.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to say all that.”

Chuck shook his head. “It’s fine. I’ve been through worse.” He straightened up. “We should find Y/B/F/N.”

“Do you think I’m a slut?”

Chuck raised an eyebrow at Y/N. “What?”

“You heard what I said,” Y/N groaned. “Trevor kept calling me that, like I was something to pass around.”

“No, I don’t think you’re a slut. You’re a girl who takes what she wants and not many guys can appreciate that.”

Y/N sighed and rolled her eyes. “Great.”

Chuck stepped closer to her. “But I can.”

She looked back up at Chuck and felt like he was staring into her soul. Y/N and Chuck never had any kind of falling out or negative interaction. In fact, Y/N spent a lot of her time staying as far away from him as possible. She supposed he had some sort of change of heart the first time he and Blair got together. When they broke up, there was no way Y/N was going to go near him lest she wanted to face the wrath of Blair. But, Y/N and Chuck spoke occasionally after his breakup and it was always entertaining. Plus, there was that one night at Vitrola...

Y/N still blushed at the memory.

She’d had one too many margaritas and happily joined the burlesque dancers onstage. There were not many people in the audience, but the most notable member was Chuck. He looked deliciously mischievous in the velvet booth as he watched her belt out “Big Spender”. Y/N loosely followed the choreography of the other dancers. At one point, she’d straddled Chuck’s lap and crooned,

“Spend a little with...me,” into his ear.

The Monday after, Y/N was forever grateful that Chuck had not mentioned anything about that night to anyone. Plus, she’d met Lucas at an opera after party that Monday night. Lucas probably would have never approached her if he’d heard about that night, but, Y/N probably would not have felt as numb for the past month if he hadn’t.

“Chuck,” she breathed.

He kissed her cheek. As much as he wanted to go straight for her pouty lips, he was not that kind of guy anymore. He could wait and he would wait. “Let’s go find Y/B/F/N and get you some water, okay?”

Y/N nodded absentmindedly and allowed Chuck to help her get off the counter. She felt robotic as he led her over to Y/B/F/N, who was cackling with some juniors.

“I hate to interrupt,” Chuck said over Kanye West’s “Heartless”.

Y/B/F/N stopped giggling, turned, and her eyes widened as soon as she saw Y/N. “Y/N!” She hopped up and hugged her. “What happened?” she asked Chuck accusingly.

“Relax, Y/B/F/N/L/N, I helped her when she was getting harrassed by Trevor,” Chuck said.

“That douchebag!” Y/B/F/N hissed. “You okay?” she asked, turning back to Y/N.

“Yeah.” Y/N looked at Chuck. “Thank you so much, for everything.”

“Anytime.”

“Let’s get you some water.” Y/B/F/N waited until Y/N had some water in her to call a car to take them back to her house. As they skirted by the shiny skyscrapers and 24 hour restaurants, she asked, “What was that look Chuck was giving you?”

“What look?” Y/N muttered.

“That look like you were the only important thing in that room,” Y/B/F/N quipped. “ I mean, I guess he’s better now since he saved you, but, it’s kind of weird. What are you gonna do?”

Y/N had no idea.

“I’m too drunk for this...conversation” Y/N stated.

#gossip girl imagine #chuck bass imagine #requested

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2-player-game · 4 years

Text

Iida x reader

Being known as the delinquent of the school was never a bad thing, in fact you found it enjoyable.

You never had to do much work since you were good at betting away with things, you skipped school, and plus you still somehow got good grades through tests.

Today was one of those days where you decided to actually go to school, your mom wasn't home, so you had no one to talk to and you had no car and no money, so you couldn't have fun, so school was the best option to occupy your boredom.

As you headed to school, uniform messy as if you hardly tried, you were stared at by many people, looking at your crude attire, some wondering why you haven't been in school for a long time.

But anyways, aside from all those strangers, you entered the class and everyone's head turned towards you. Some were happy that you were back, those people were Jiro, Mina, and Kaminari, while others weren't exactly the happiest...

Then, closed your eyes and took in a deep breath, oh God he's here, you could just sense his presence infront of you, you opened your eyes to be greeted with a broad-shouldered fellow with dark blue hair, his uniform was almost perfect. No doubt it was that stuck-up Tenya Iida.

"L/n-san! How dare you even show up to class looking like such a hooligan. It is truly disgraceful. Someone such as you should never be in a class like this, you give our class a horrible reputation, you never help with anything and you're the reason our average attendance is awful!" The dark haired male shouted at you, doing his odd chopping motion.

You rolled your eyes, "last time I checked I don't think that stuff mattered to me" you said, looking at Iida with a dead panned face, you practically shoved him out of the way as you walked slowly over to your seat, he was yelling at your for shoving a peer or something, but you blocked out his words by putting in your headphones and listening to music before class started.

Around 2 seconds later you felt something snatch your earbuds out, 'oh my god. Not again' you thought to yourself as you look up to see a fuming and angry Tenya staring down at you with your headphones in his hand. You sighed, "and why are you going to yell at me this time?" You asked, reaching to grab your headphones.

Iida started chopping vigorously, "You mustn't listen to music during school hours!" He shouted, ignoring your rather rude comments that followed.

Soon after that little argument Aizawa entered the classroom and first period then started.

After a few minutes of listening to the lecture you fell asleep, not really caring if what Aizawa was teaching everyone was important or not.

After a good nap you work up to the bell, you stood up groggily and headed to your next class which was basically training.

As you were walking to the girls locker rooms, you followed slowly behind the Deku squad, which was maintly just Deku, Uraraka, and that stupid Iida. As you followed, you noticed that they were talking about someone.

Wait.. were they talking about you?

"Come on Iida! You're just gonna keep y/n mad and grumpy if you keep yelling at her!" Uraraka said to him.

"I agree with Uraraka, she's so scary. I would think that you would want to get on her bad side, you know because of your-" Midoriya was interrupted by you.

"Yeah yeah, I get it, you guys think I'm so awful and cruel. If you're gonna talk shit about me at least do it when I'm not around." You ran past them, you knew you were bad, and it was your fault, but.. you didnt think people actually cared that much to talk shit about you. You began to walk to the front gates, you needed to get out of there, you couldn't stand that stupid school.

As you went to go turn to the left, it was just the last turn before you could make it outside, you felt a firm grasp on your arm, you turned around, a tear pricked your left eye as you looked at who had grabbed you.

It was that damn Iida, probably about to yell at you for skipping class or some shit.

"What the hell do you want?" You asked harshly, the way you glared at him wasn't how you normally would, it was different.

"I.. I just want to talk. Please" wait.. did the Tenya Iida just stutter? And was he blushing? What twisted world were you teleported too?

You scoffed "why would I want to talk to you? All you've done is yell at me" you turned to look down at the ground, refusing to make eye contact with the male infront of you.

Iida grabbed your face and forced you to look at him, "y/n l/n, I just wanted to tell you that.. that I'm really sorry for all the things I have done. For what I've said, and how I've hurt you in kore ways then one.. I truly apologize" he said.

You were speechless, unable to form words, " I.. I-" you felt bad now for how you treated him.

"Maybe.. we can start over" Tenya suggested.

"Yeah, that.. would be nice" you said, smiling.

He smiled as well, "Hi, I'm Tenya Iida.. and I've loved you ever since you first stepped into class on the first day" he said, smiling ever so slightly with a blush on his face.

All you could do was laugh before packing him on the cheek before running back to class, you two were both late.

Iida was frozen, you turned around and waved slightly, "see you around, my lovable dork!" You said, blowing him a kiss.

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nopperabounet · 4 years

Text

Fish Tank 95 Interview with Hoshino Hidehiko Reporter: Okubo Yuka Translation: Lola

What did you do for New Year's?

I relaxed so that now I can I work on recording the songs I wrote.

Really? So you didn't get sick or anything?

Not this year. So far I'm in good health *smiles*.

I'm glad to hear it. I'd like to take a look back at "THE DAY IN QUESTION 2019" .

As you know, the first day was at a new venue in Takasaki. I'd say it's been a long time since we played in such a beautiful venue like that one in Takasaki. It felt fresh since it's a music center.

I heard that creating the general framework for the set list was up to you this time, Hoshino-san, so how did you find working on it?

I decided the general idea, yes, but ultimately things get changed around as we rehearse and fiddle with it. I was thinking about what would create a good atmosphere for the show.

It felt a little different than your usual "THE DAY IN~" because it had such a powerful opening.

Probably because we opened with "Muma - The Nightmare" . . . . . .because both Yuuta and I said it would be good to start with it *smiles*, and I think due to that it creates that profound heaviness that flows through the rest. Which is good to do from time to time, I think.

I was also impressed by the two winter themed songs, "Snow white" and "SILENT NIGHT".

Of course that was the point of including these two songs in the performance. I mean they weren't the main part of the show this time but, I felt like it was incredibly important to have that sort of segment.

You played "SILENT NIGHT" with a new arrangement, so how did you end up getting Yokoyama-san to do it?

Up till now, "SILENT NIGHT" has felt somber and lonely to me so I planned on asking Yoko-chan to do something about that. . . . . .why? Did he say something yesterday about it?

So you're saying you're the one who wanted Yokoyama-san do to something with the sound, and that it was your suggestion all along, Hoshino-san?

Yes, exactly. Why? What did he say?

Imai-san said that he told Yokoyama-san, "I know Hide asked you to do something for him, but I don't really think this is what he meant."

Right, yes, ok. I knew he'd say that *smiles*. That's basically it *smiles*. But well, it's ok you know. We worked it out amicably in the end.

What feeling were you trying to go for Hoshino-san?

I just wanted something with more guitar *smiles*.

It was your first time performing "Datenshi" live, so how did you find the audience's reaction?

It went well, didn't it? As for their reaction . . . . .I'm not sure you know, I couldn't really see too well. Because I was trying to play it well *smiles*. Since it was the first time for me right, so I was worried about doing it properly.

You changed each set list up a little bit, and I understand that you did this while you were rehearsing?

Right. We change things up as we do them. Especially on the second day, we fiddle with the encores to get them to suit the mood of the day.

It was also your first time performing in Yoyogi Stadium so did that end up changing things for you because of nervousness?

Maybe. I mean Anii's always saying stuff like that after the show. "I screwed up!" *smiles* But for me that's just part of doing lives you know. We're also used to the feeling of Budoukan and its basin like shape, which lets us see people even if they're on the sides and it feels incredible you know, whereas in Yoyogi the seats stretch out far and flat so in the end, what you feel is the distance so I felt like it would have been more enjoyable to share a closer space together.

Any incidents happen during the tour?

Not this time, so I'd say it all felt good overall. I don't really remember any particular highs and lows, at least nothing more than usual I guess. Maybe it was because of the mood we created with the song choice . . . . . .that somehow nothing really bad happened. I guess I should make the set list next time too*smiles*.

Since it's best when there are no incidents *smiles*. At the end of the show you announced your upcoming activities, it was a nice way to close 2019.

I'm glad we were able to get people excited. Now I have to do my best to make good on that.

You began recording the album yesterday beginning with your music, Hoshino-san.

Right. But we're only on day two.

Regarding the album, I wonder have you spoken at all about the concept with Imai-san?

Well I mean, I guess he talked to me about how we'll have a theme this time again. Why? What did he say?

He posted on his instagram about how the new theme is seven characters, but he wouldn't say what it was.

Sounds like him.

While working on 'Datenshi', he mentioned that the key words were "deviating from the norm", so I was wondering if maybe he was doing something different yet again?

Well, I guess that's sort of it? But you know "deviating from the norm" is not seven characters. I dunno, I'm not sure what he meant. Since he hasn't told any of us either *smiles*. Ah well, guess we'll have to wait and see.

Were you consciously thinking about "deviating from the norm" as well with your pieces, Hoshino-san?

If anything I'd say one of the songs might seem like it's "deviating from the norm" but I didn't make it that way, it's CUBE-kun (CUBE JUICE) who is doing that because I had requested it of him. We're in the midst of making it more intriguing. I also have a nice medium melody too, so look forward to that.

OK *smiles*. Will CUBE-san help in arranging both of your songs, Hoshino-san?

I have CUBE-kun, and I already have YOW-ROW-kun helping me for another song.

How did that come about?

By chatting with Tanaka-san (their director). I had asked if he knew anyone who could draw something even more interesting from the songs I wrote.

Yesterday, Yuuta-san recorded his bass parts, so does that mean you're recording your guitar parts today?

Yes. I'll record my parts today, and then take a little break. Because we still haven't put in the lyrics yet, but I think it's shaping out to be quite good. I just can't tell for sure because I don't have the full picture yet. But I do have a hunch I know which direction it will go in.

Imai-san plays the guitar in your songs as well, doesn't he?

Yeah, I mean that's the plan but . . . . . .but I bet he said something like, "It might be better if I don't play in his songs" right? *smiles*

He didn't say that, but he did say something like, "I bet Hide's just gonna play all the guitar parts anyway".

Why would he say that? *smiles* I mean, I did think that but still. Well whatever, it will be fine because our recording schedule has all been decided on *smiles*.

Has this sort of thing happened before?

It has, yes. Things are fine right now when it comes to recording, but in the past there would be times when he'd tell me he was too busy composing to come into the studio so I'd just be like, "Well, guess I'll do it all then." I think that was during our Ariola years.

Do you enjoy working on the creative process of the music?

It feels like the complete opposite of doing lives. But yes, I do enjoy it, and find it fun.

Since you've only really just begun recording, I'm guessing you don't really have any stories to tell about it yet. However, I did happen to hear something about liver and Chinese chives.

That was quick, I ate that yesterday *smiles*. We don't do take out here too often you know. But yesterday we thought let's order curry, so I decided to get everyone's orders, and like an hour later I go to make the call and get told, "it's too much, we can't handle such a big order." I hadn't thought it was that big of an order *smiles*. By then I'm absolutely starving~ and end up changing our order to Chinese food. So that's what happened *smiles*.

Thank you for sharing such a precious story *smiles*. Beginning in May you will have fanclub only lives. I'm guessing you'll be doing new content by then, like playing "Luna Park"?

Ah, yeah, I guess we will be. But you know right now a lot of events had to be suspended so I'm not sure how things will be by then. I'm worried it might have to be postponed as well[1].

I know. I'm praying the situation will be safe enough to do it so would you please give a message to everyone who is looking forward to it?

I pray that we will be able to have our fanclub and mobile member tour in safety, and in the meantime I will be spending my days recording. Please look forward to it.

[1] The fanclub only lives were indeed postponed, however they have tentatively been rescheduled for the period of February - April 2021. Please consult the official BUCK-TICK site for further information.

#hoshino hidehiko #buck tick #buck-tick

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