#but i just REALLY hate when people go too hard and verge into the babying territory

[im-still-watching-anime]

whyyy do some people flirt by treating you like a child

#what do you MEAN you were flirting when you said that to me #it was condescending babe!!! #hello naruto blog im here to complain about Dating™️ #i hate it and no one should do it #i KNOW a lot of flirting is being really nice to each other or sweet etc #but i just REALLY hate when people go too hard and verge into the babying territory #like i KNOW what you’re going for and i’m TRYING to be understanding and patient #but girl please CHILL #and treat me like an actual human adult for two seconds because good lord #i thought i already made it clear i wasn’t interested too but!! she keeps going!! #like why!! #pls leave me alone!!! #ughhhhhh #sorry #i am just Very Tired of this #and people being condescending or babying me just really gets on my nerves even when it’s not with bad intentions #flirting BAD sometimes #life junk #venting

[satorhime]

. ･｡･ self checkout ࿐ nagi seishiro.

── ◜ ⪩⪨ ◞ content ㆍ﹒fluff, aged up!nagi, pro footballer!nagi, height difference (reader is shorter than nagi), shopping trips, slightly suggestive, established relationship. f!reader. w.c. 2k & not proofread.

── ◜ ⪩⪨ ◞ synopsis ㆍ﹒nagi enjoys running errands if the two of you go together. & ໒꒰ྀི ´ ꒳ ` ꒱ྀིა notes: baby’s first blue lock fic !! honestly i’m supa nervous bc i haven’t written 4 them before n i’m still figuring things out but i hope u enjoy reading this anw <333

“this date is so tiring,” nagi laments for the fifth time since you stepped through the automated sliding doors of the neighborhood supermarket. he blows out a breath from his puffed cheeks, sounding as if he is on the verge of collapsing while you browse the shelves for pantry essentials and late night snacks. “when can we go home?”

a trendy song from a summer spotify mix croons over the tinny speakers overhead, its bubblegum pop lyrics interrupted every now and then by a cheery voice advertising new items and upcoming discounts. the supermarket is busier than when you and seishiro usually stop by, which isn’t all that surprising considering it’s the end of the day. college students carry armfuls of instant ramen and sugary sodas for study sessions and old ladies browse for medicinal teas while parents push full carts of groceries, ignoring their wailing children who press their little noses against the frosty glass of the freezers, begging to be given overpriced ice creams locked away inside.

and you resist the urge to roll your eyes with exasperation, glancing over to where your boyfriend leans heavily on the handle of the cart he has been tasked with pushing for you— his long fingers tapping away at a mobile game on the screen of his phone.

“that’s because,” you begin, wagging a finger at him when you turn around and toss an item into the bottom of the cart. “it’s not a date, sei. i told you that i had to run errands today and you insisted on coming with me when you hate it.”

“‘s’boring at home when you’re not there, so it seemed like a good idea at first,” he shrugs, rolling the cart further down the aisle when you’re on the move again. slothy, midwinter gray eyes drag lazily over your body— taking in the way your faded t-shirt (which is, really, just one of his old ones) rides up a little on your body, exposing the cute little dimples in the soft part of your back as you stand on your tiptoes, struggling to reach one of the higher shelves in the freezer section.

you are well aware that nagi hates daily tasks. things such as making the bed in the morning, washing the dishes after dinner, or visiting the laundromat once a week requires too much energy from your drowsy footballer boyfriend, but it makes you happy to know that he tries, even if he falls asleep while doing it; that he will do anything if you are involved, and nothing if you aren’t.

like right now, he abandons his mobile game and the shopping cart in the middle of the aisle without care to come over and help you, making a mother of two-under-two glare at him viciously. he snorts, sliding his hand into the back pocket of your denim shorts, a romantic comedy habit of his when the two of you are walking anywhere together. nagi’s head tilts cutely to one side, blinking owlishly up at the shelves. “which one d’you wanna get, shortstack?”

“i am not short,” you huff, twisting your mouth to one side at his teasing, but you point to the item you want— an assorted pack of ice lollies. “shelves are designed against short people. and i dunno— are we in the mood for ice cream or popsicles?”

it’s hard to make a decision because freezers full of summer treats line both sides of the aisle. tubs of gourmet gelatos, variety packs of creamy ice candies, and an endless selection of mochi with custard fillings in the middle that make your mouth water at the thought of bringing them home with you.

“i’ll eat them no matter what anyway,” he shrugs, unwilling to be the one to choose, but then his gray eyes glance down at your lips, then back to the items in front of you. you swear that his eyes darken to a stormier color, even though his expression never changes. “you make cute sounds when you suck on ice pops, and you always taste sweet after. get those.”

and then he faces forward, browsing the selection of ice creams with interest, as if his words didn’t short circuit a current in your brain. you’ll never understand how seishiro can say the most outlandish things so casually, only to return to what he’s doing while you’re left attempting to calm your fast heart.

“ice pops it is,” you say, a little winded. “make sure to get the second pack, and not the first.”

“mhnn, why’s it matter? the second one’s farther back. they all look the same to me.”

“they’re not. the first is one everybody has touched or returned.”

“that . . . makes sense,” he considers it, then he nods, lips formed into a little ‘o’ shape. “okay, we’ll get the second one.”

you watch as he steps forward, pushing the first pack of ice lollies aside to select the second as you requested, reaching the item with ease and heavens, it’s moments like these when you are reminded just how much bigger seishiro is. he’s always towered over your shorter height and it’s so, so unfair how he uses it to his advantage, making your tummy burn at the sight. frosty air wafts from the open door of the freezer, bringing chills over your heated skin. “‘s a good thing i was here, since you’re so little— there was no way you could reach it.”

“‘m not little,” you mumble, all pouty because nagi is squishing your cheeks between two finger pads. “you’re just so tall. it’s unfair.”

“want me to be shorter?” he asks, and before you can ask what he means, nagi drops the pack of ice pops into your hands and deflates dramatically, bending down to drape himself over your frame. his head tucked against your shoulder, the footballer’s milky fringe tickling the skin of your neck as he closes his eyes. “man, now ‘m even more tired.”

“seishiro, you’re heavy.”

“i know,” he sighs, eyes shuttering below thick lashes, but he makes no effort to move away from your body. instead, his hand slithers under your shirt. making you shiver because his fingertips are dewy and cold from the arctic blast of the freezer and the frozen treat he picked up. you hiss, squirming under his touch as his fingers trail across your belly. “but i’m tired ‘n’ you feel s’soft, like a pillow.”

“nagi, off,” you wheeze, his extra weight making it hard for you to properly breathe. it’s easy to forget how solid he is, straight lines of athletic muscle that usually has you cow-eyed and cooing, as long as it’s not weighing you down in the middle of a supermarket. you try to shake him off, but the midfielder only squeezes you against his body even tighter, his slightly damp lips pressing a kiss to the nape of your neck, sending a shiver down your spine. “we’re never gonna get anything done like this, you lazy boy. if you don’t wanna walk, go wait in the sitting area with the grandpas.”

he sighs in defeat and shakes his head, pressing his lips together in that cute frown he pulls whenever he’s thinking. then, he’s dropping his arms from you suddenly. “mmhn, got a better idea.”

“and what’s that—”

you face nagi, only to catch your boyfriend with one foot in the shopping cart as he tries to hoist himself over the railing and inside of the basket.

“sei, you can’t fit in there—!” your eyes flicker between him, and the elderly man judging the two of you at the other end of the aisle. “you’re too big.”

“you’re always saying things like that,” he says, and the innuendo intertwined in the words flies over your pretty head because with one boost, he’s hopping over the railing and sinking into the cart, the metal rattling in protest. you stand there, dumbstruck as he settles. “now i can stay with you without walking.”

“yeah, but now that means i have to push you,” you grumble. “i should leave you here and get a new cart.”

but it’s hard to refuse when your boyfriend is that cute. his impossibly long legs are folded against his chest so that he can fit inside the shopping cart comfortably, taking extra care not to crush any of the delicate items surrounding him. the lower half of his face is buried into the collar of his soft hoodie as he absently chews on the drawstrings, but you can still see the sanrio bandaid you put on him yesterday after he got a nasty elbow to the cheek during football practice.

even though you two are already receiving strange looks from other shoppers passing by, you grip the handle, pushing the cart and your boyfriend dutifully, rolling it onto the next aisle.

“you look ridiculous,” you tell him, but you’re grinning. “but here, you’re on list duty. what do we need to get next?”

nagi’s eyes dutifully scan over the shopping list open in the notes app of your phone, his fingernail scrolling the screen lightly.

“it says ‘ramen because my greedy athlete bf keeps eating it all’ so y’need to get . . . oi, you mean me—”

“i wonder who wrote that there,” you whistle innocently, plucking the device out of his hands, wheeling him away fast.

the rest of your shopping trip is a blur, except for you turning a corner too fast and nearly dumping him out of the cart or the weird looks shoppers continue to give you because by the time you’re lining up in the queue, nagi is buried under the items because he takes up too much space. there’s a bag of rice on one shoulder, a pack of ramen on the other and fresh radishes sprouting from the snowy peaks of his head. not to mention, he’s still holding the pack of ice pops, condensation dripping over his hands.

“you’re making them melt, sei.” because he runs hot a heated blanket in the summer, and you can sympathize with the poor popsicles being defrosted in his big hands.

“‘m gonna eat one so they won’t— oh, hey this one is lemon,” he says, prying open the cardboard lid and tearing open the plastic wrapper of a lemon crème ice pop. tongue peeking out to lick before he’s holding it over his shoulder for you to taste next. “try it. i don’t sound as cute as you when i eat them.”

“sei, you’re not supposed to open those before we—” but nagi pushes the cold treat between your lips insistently, your eyes rounding wide, whining in protest as the ice pop hits your sensitive teeth. but it does taste good— creamy, sweet and sour flavors coating the surface of your tongue. “oh, it’s sh’good. we should get another pack.”

“see? y’make the cutest sounds when you suck it.”

“shut up, seishiro.”

you begin placing the items on the conveyor belt, listening to the irritating bleep, bleep, bleep of the scanner as the cashier rings up each product. you’re not frugal, but you peep at the total on the screen every now and then with a wince.

“that’s it for you, or are you buying the man in your cart too, ma’am?” the cashier asks, glancing at nagi as he finishes off the melting ice pop in the shopping cart, chin resting on top of his knees.

“no,” and you giggle, cheeks warming as you roll your eyes in exasperation. “this one is already mine.”

#little novels. #nagi x reader #nagi x you #nagi fluff #nagi seishiro x reader #nagi seishiro x you #blue lock x reader #blue lock fluff #blue lock x you #bllk x you #bllk x reader #bllk fluff

[waitinginthecorner]

Might fuck around and stay up all night and practice French and do my substances and drink too much coffee and then zone out for my 7 hr shift before I can come home and nap and have Tuesday off

#2 trucks this week...monday (today) and Wednesday #im on the verge of quitting but i have loans im late on by months now so bby must work #baby must work and get their life together #i can do it its just hard to get new things to put my stuff in when i have to get the old stuff out first but then i have nowhere to put my #stuff for a period and its like...i already have too much junk but its mostly v precious to me #i need to have a spring cleaning. this is my month #this is my month bc once summer hits im going to be so bitchy i hate the heat so much #i have to really relish (yummy) and respect and appreciate my time and my body and my mind and my turmoil and struggles #its hard realizing that im not just an object to make other peoples lives easier #my mom always used to ask why id behave so well everywhere except at home and ive never put it to her this way.... #.....but its bc i love and trust her. at the end of the day we may not always like or understand each other #and she def treats my bro and my step dad w more consideration than she does w me #but i do the same sometimes #and i think its bc we know we can handle it. we r strong where they are weak #we may be more vulnerable and extreme but theres more strength in that yknow...likw we rly hold it together so well #at the end of it all i know she always has my back and i always have hers #idrk where i was going w that...just that i need to practice being actively thankful more. ive been bringing it in and its nice but i wish #i wish i could be less bitter and vindictive in general #sighhh #things to think about #rambling

[charliemwrites]

how would the keepers react to their pets saying things like "you dont actually love me" (all the things you shouldnt say to an obsessive kidnapper basically) to them?

Hey, bean! I’m just gonna go with that specific line of “you don’t actually love me, you just think you do” since I wrote a bunch of those prompts lol. If people want me to do their reactions with other lines I can do that though!

Feral says it in when Simon first calls her “love” in a fit of frustration and anger. She’s not sure if she’s on the verge of a panic attack or genuinely trying to murder him. And he’s giving her that Look again, like she’s the most fascinating thing he’s ever seen. It’s almost enough to make her believe he means it. But she knows better, she’s seen dateline - he only thinks he’s does because he’s built an idea of her in his mind.

“No, love,” he soothes, chuckling. “I love you. Everything about you. You think I didn’t do my research? I know you better than you think I do, I promise. But it’s okay, little one, I’ll show you eventually.”

He ducks out of the way as she throws something at him. She hates that his soft eyes only support his ridiculous claim.

—

Shy Thing is trying to reason with him. Trying really hard to just… logic her way out of this. If she just makes him see good sense, surely he’ll let her go right?

“Johnny… you don’t actually love me, you just think you do.”

He chuckles, drops a kiss on her head. “‘Course I do, doll.”

“No…” she sighs, “you can’t.”

He tilts his head, an indulgent little smile on his face. Like she’s being cute and silly and entertaining. “Oh, and why not?”

She huffs. Not for the first time, it feels like talking to a brick wall. “You don’t… you don’t know me. We’d hardly spoken before you - before I came here. How could possibly love me? It doesn’t make any sense, John.”

He shakes his head. “Love doesn’t always make sense, baby. ‘S not supposed to. It just is.”

She can sense she’s starting to tread close to wear his patience starts to wear. Sighing, she drops it and tries not to blush too hard when he cuddles her in closer.

—

“Is that so?”

John’s arms are crossed, eyebrows arched. He’s leaning back against the kitchen counter, looking just… unimpressed. He always does when she tries to keep her cool, tries to just… talk to him.

“Of course it is John,” she sighs, frustrated. “Just because you watched me for months doesn’t mean you love me or actually know me.”

He scratches at the corner of his jaw with him thumb, seems to ponder that.

“Alright, then,” he says. “What does, huh?”

She frowns. “…what?”

“Well the way I see it, I did the falling in love part right. I got to know you in public, in private, talking to all sorts of people. I know what you watch when you’re sad, I know what upsets your tummy, how you like your steak and that you don’t care for soup.” He shrugs. “Only difference from a traditional relationship is that you didn’t know it. And by your logic, maybe I know you better then. You didn’t have a chance to put on a pretty face and hide the parts you didn’t think I would like.”

She… she doesn’t know what to say to that. Feels like her brain has just taken a roller coaster ride with no harness - doesn’t know up from down anymore, left from right. Like she’s missed a step going downstairs and is tumbling into the unknown.

“Now all that’s left is your turn, isn’t it?”

#asks #my writing #thoughts™️ #cod #keeper/kept au #fanfiction #keeper ghost #kept pet ghost #dark fic #keeper johnny #keeper price

[t1ts-4-scattorcio]

hi!! could you do a dating pre crash shauna hcs list? thank you!! p.s i love ur writing it’s so cute🫶💗

Thank you lovie <3 I'm glad you like my stuff.

Shauna Shipman General Dating headcanons:

The cutest girls with the biggest brown baby deer eyes.

Comes out of her shell when she’s around you, she’s pretty quiet unless she’s around people she trusts and you’re her #1

She drew you all the time. You were in her room one night and her journal was open on her desk. You caught a glimpse of a drawing of yourself, it was a drawing of you reading on Shauna’s bed next to her window ledge. It made you feel so warm inside. 

You so support her art endeavors, gifting the supplies that she wans and in return, she shows you what she’s made. She gets especially excited to show drawings she made of you. 

She gives you notes in class,  telling you how much she loves you, how sweet you are, and hoping you have a good day.

Jackie definitely grills you before you start dating Shauna. She doesn’t know much about you other than you were in Shauna’s English class and that she’s completely in love and won’t stop talking about you. 

She makes you a little nervous when you first meet, asking you a bunch of questions about your intentions with Shauna, she’s ready for you to slip up. Shauna is a little bit embarrassed and wants her to let up but NOPE she needs to protect her pookie bestie. She just wants the best for her but soon enough you both become best friends as well.

You go to all of her games, even practices and pep rallies. She appreciates the support so much and gets super excited whenever she sees you in the stands. 

She’s really protective over you, not afraid of standing up to anyone that talks shit. We saw her defend Nat in the first episode she will get in someone’s face if they don’t back down. 

There will definitely be communication problems, she lets things bubble up inside her until they burst at the wrong time. Reassuring her that it’s okay to be open would make your relationship 10 times stronger. 

Also is very impulsive, tends to jump to conclusions and doesn’t think things through before she reacts, She ends up in really sticky situations that are hard to get out of. She once saw you talk to a girl from your Math class the girly pop was way too close for comfort. Shauna’s thoughts immediately went to equality upsetting you, she would ghost you for a while, not answer calls or texts, not go to your house as often as she did (ect). Your last straw was when she was lying across a random girl's lap at a party and it broke your heart. You thought she hated you and was cheating on you and you couldn’t think of any reason why she would hurt you like this, she saw you sobbing and immediately felt so guilty and followed you like a lost puppy on the verge of tears begging for your forgiveness.

I think another toxic thing she does is lie. She 100% will if she thinks she’s protecting you. It’s frustrating

Is super intelligent and I think that’s overlooked by everyone, it’s great when she helps you with any type of work you have to do. Homework, projects, anything that requires brain power. She also loves reading with you cuddled up in her bed or your couch, she’s the cutest little bookworm.

You love listening to her talk about her interests. People don’t take time to listen to what she has to say, Her eyes light up whenever she really gets into topics she loves. Sitting with her and observing her be excited makes you happy. 

I think her major love languages are quality time and acts of love, her favorite days are when you both can relax together, sitting on the bleachers after practice for a while instead of immediately going home, going to your favorite dining spot for hours, study dates at the library, walking around in the mall. She just wants to be around you, little puppy.

You’re her designated passenger princess, she will happily drive you wherever you’d like. Picking you up and dropping you off from school, mini drive-thru dates where you buy anything you like and binge eat in her car. 

NSFW:

I think she’s more dominant in bed, she naturally knows what she wants and likes to be in control, and definitely won’t be scared to bring that into the bedroom

She goes feral if you only wear her team shirt or jacket and nothing else when you’re together at home

Manhandles you while you’re having sex, and will roll her eyes if you get insecure about how heavy you are, especially when she wants you to sit on her face.

Queen of teasing and orgasm denial, fake pouts at you while you beg for release. “Baby wants to cum, you can wait a little more I promise.”  

Tbh you do anything she is immediately on her knees, she’s so enamored by you. You’re perfect in her eyes.

#yellowjackets #yellowjackets x reader #yellowjackets headcanons #yellowjackets imagine #yellowjackets blurbs #shauna shipman headcanons #shauna shipman x reader #shauna shipman #shauna shipman imagine #shauna shipman blurb

[vivithefolle]

You seem to be really against Hermione for the bird incident, but don’t seem to care much about Harry sending Hedwig to claw at Ron and Hermione during the summer preceding fifth year, why is that?(/gen) You also seem to ship Ronarry. Is it just because she’s the canon love interest that you’re so upset? I know Harry regretted telling Hedwig to do what she did afterwards, but I don’t remember him ever apologizing to Ron and Hermione. How can we know that Hermione didn’t apologize to Ron after he came back in Deathly Hallows but before the battle of hogwarts?(I agree with your opinions on Hermione in general, I’m just curious.)

If you don't know, I've made some jokes about how Harmony shippers are right about Harry and Hermione having something in common, which is that they both sent birds to attack Ron.

Harry doesn't interest me nearly as much as Hermione because to be frank he's pretty much just... the most boring character in the series to me. I like him for his Ron-loving potential which is pretty off the charts when Rowling isn't actively using Ron as a stepping stone for Harry and Hermione to look better.

I'm actually a pretty big Romione shipper even if I myself get confused about what I'm mad about sometimes. Honestly, it's just that I've kinda had it with people constantly writing Ron fucking up and having to make it up to Hermione, I want her to be fucking up and making it up to him and it not being considered a Crime Against Women Everywhere because yeah, women fuck up and hurt men too, men also get abused or shat on by women, it happens. Hermione as she is has a pretty toxic mentality, what with her often using violence completely casually (her first "big heroic moment" in the series is to set a man on fire) coupled with that shitty tendency of Rowling to use "Hermione on the verge of tears" as a kind of sedative to make the average reader go "who cares what Hermione did before, she's crying NOW and that's UNFORGIVABLE, PROTECT HER".

But, Harry himself also has a system like that, by virtue of being Our Poor Orphan Protagonist. Honestly, I hate to say it but Potterheads read another book because yes, Harry is nothing new, when an author wants you to root for their protagonist they give them a backstory that makes you want good things for them, yes Harry's suffering is just all destined to make you attached to him and meant to make you think everything that ever happens to HIM personally is automatically The Most Horrible Thing Ever To Happen To Anyone Ever and I'm kinda done with that as a whole because of fandom experience. I can only tell people to pay attention to what Ron goes through only to be rebuked by a "but look how hard Harry had it, in comparison Ron is a baby" so many times before I get completely soured and decide that the character they feel so sad for doesn't need any more people to feel sorry for.

... I don't know if I'm being clear. But yeah I function mostly through pure spite nowadays.

I know Harry regretted telling Hedwig to do what she did afterwards, but I don’t remember him ever apologizing to Ron and Hermione.

He did say a token sorry to Ron specifically:

He showed Harry the index finger of his right hand, which sported a half-healed but clearly deep cut. ‘Oh, yeah,’ Harry said. ‘Sorry about that, but I wanted answers, you know –’

(I say "token" because yeah it's not really an apology given how it's immediately followed by a justification.)

Hermione however?

‘He seemed to think it was best,’ said Hermione rather breathlessly. ‘Dumbledore, I mean.’ ‘Right,’ said Harry. He noticed that her hands, too, bore the marks of Hedwig’s beak and found that he was not at all sorry.

WOOP WOOP FEEL THE HARMONY YET

How can we know that Hermione didn’t apologize to Ron after he came back in Deathly Hallows but before the battle of hogwarts?

Honestly she can have apologized anytime, I'd just like it to be shown to me, and I'd like it to mean something.

While for example @divagonzo believes that after Malfoy Manor Hermione realizes her own mortality and blunts her sharper edges, I still remember the scene where Ron isn't sure they can trust Griphook and Hermione immediately insult him for being racist. Yeah, if that's blunting her sharp edges then I sure hope she's got other ways to do it otherwise she's gonna need a lot more Malfoy Manors.

As it stands, Harry and Hermione are really underdeveloped and bare-bones. If Harry has a character arc then I've missed it entirely because while he does realize that Snape has reasons and shit he's still kinda hating on him all through OOTP, HBP and DH until the Epilogue pulls the rug from beneath our feet. Hermione has moments indicating there's some things happening - her arc with Luna in OOTP is neat, in DH she finally learned to thank Ron for complimenting her - but aside from that she never is confronted to actual failure, to actual dilemnas, to actual problems without a true "I'm right you're wrong" solution - we only see her "being right" without anything exploring what she COULD be beyond "being right".

Which leaves Ron to shoulder the burden of having to do character development for two static characters that amount to "male role model" and "female role model". Ron IS confronted with failure, with actual dilemnas to which there's no easy answer or solution, Ron IS confronted with his personal character flaws... in pretty much every book, he's kept in a loop of "complete character arc" -> "oh no JKR needs drama to happen and she can't have Role Model 1 & 2 do it because they're supposed to be Above Mere Mortals" -> "backtrack on Ron's character arc so he can cause the drama so she doesn't have to strain her brain too hard", which is pretty obviously a disservice to Ron's character. And sadly, the fandom picks up on it but takes the wrong message from it: instead of realizing "wait, Rowling is violating the rules of good storytelling by constantly backtracking on her one good and complex character's development all so she doesn't have to risk Harry and Hermione's popularity by using their character flaws to create conflict", the fandom instead goes "ugh Ron is always causing messes while Harry and Hermione always have their hearts in the right place and always want what's best and anyway if they ever did something bad it's because they were forced by the situation".

It's... upsetting.

#ron weasley #harry potter #hermione granger #ron weasley defense squad #ron weasley defence squad #hp meta #anti jk rowling #vivi answers

[yua-nism]

I saw your tags and I’m now very intrigued like what do you mean yuhan has the SHORTEST TRAGIC BACKSTORY?!?! JUST WHAT IS GOING ON?? like granted I should have known a game about devil cat butlers would have some angst and tragic backstories but god damn 😭😭

there was a miscalculation on my part and yuuhan's is in fact, not the one with the shortest backstory! however that's only because the others have yet to have their backstories be revealed. sorry for the late answer btw, exams have made me pretty tired.

ok so ill briefly explain a bit. this ties in to the requirement to become a devil butler that is, having felt so much despair that one feels like dying. normal people will be swallowed up by the devils they contract with. the despair essentially acts like chains for the devil. so to talk about their pasts in the Briefest Way Possible (lie):

miyaji has beef with lucas on the surface but really it's because he still can't get over the fact that lucas decided to save him from the verge of death instead of someone else he thought was more capable than him while lucas simply chose to save miyaji because he had higher chances of living.

lucas was basically a child prodigy/genius. since young, he's always loved reading books, and even read thick books that even adults struggled to understand. even though he was lonely and had no one to talk to, he still endured it, skipped grades, and became a doctor at the age of 10+. at first he was looked down on for being young, but an older doctor stood up for him. eventually he became the leader of the doctors, but due to his lack of social skills, he struggled to communicate well, which resulted in the doctors hating him. in the end, all the doctors except lucas quit their job. and the group collapsed. (tbf id quit too... imagine being said you didn't work as hard as him and don't have as much brainpower compared to him as well)

ammon has only had his mom since birth and lived with her, selling flowers for a living. ammon would always make sure the flowers would be sold out at the end of the day for his sickly mother, but if he doesn't manage to sell all of them it's heavily implied his mom whips him like he does to himself even now. they were like super poor but ammon still loved his mom because he only had her

berrien has like this super mysterious past but rn it's starting to unravel in chapter 4. he's an orphan and got adopted into a church backed by the grovanas or whatever nobel family to nurture warriors who could fight angels, but surprisingly the church is actually full of love and was ran by someone who fighted angels named Goetia. berrien also met his soon-to-be older brother figure named Beren/Belen. btw all of the kids go by the last name Cliane because goetia wants everyone to become true family.

when berrien was 26 (Beren 29), goetia died from a chronic disease and Beren had to take on goetia's responsibilities. berrien became the one running the church, however shit happened, Beren got demonized, and berrien used his powers to keep Beren alive after forming a contract with his current devil. he's still residing in berrien's basement as of current, but in a coma. berrien still thinks he himself has no rights to be a butler and really does not believe that he's the one keeping the damn thing running

also the church got destroyed like 2400 years ago and yes berrien is 2000+ years old

haures was born into some wack ass family, his dad ran away with some other woman and his mom projected her rage and stuff like that onto haures, and his newborn younger sister Tricia. haures is 10 years older than Tricia. when he was that age, he ran away from home with Tricia (literal baby) because he no longer trusted his mom to take good care of them. after that, when haures was 18, he trained hard to become a soldier under the grovanas nobles so he could afford to let Tricia get treatment for her worsening vision. one heartbreaking scene was when haures showed off his red uniform to Tricia and she said the blue uniform looked good on him... but 5 years later, haures managed to get Tricia's eyes healed!!! surely nothing bad could happen!!!!

sike. haures caught one of the grovanas nobles illegally trafficking humans with some dealer, and arrested him. however that led to the seller getting revenge, and he decided to capture tricia. he stabbed her and threw her into the woods. when haures found her, she only managed to call out to haures before she died after a few breaths. haures was really really really devastated. he sought revenge on the noble, and while the noble didn't die, he was jailed 5 years for harming the noble (not death sentence because he was determined mentally unstable after losing Tricia.). after he got out of jail, he found the noble again and wanted to kill him, but he was reminded of how Tricia admired him for protecting the people and helping those in need, which stopped him. after that, he became a devil butler because of his proficient fighting skills.

lamli was forced to work at a circus by his mom at the age of 10, while starting up with simple duties, he decided to train to become a circus troupe performer so he'd earn more money for his complaining mother. its heavily implied he's abandoned by her and becomes a devil butler because of his nimble body. btw his mom said she never wanted to have lamli right in front of him. jesus.

fennesz was born into a wealthy happy family, and had an older sister. however his war general father lost a war against nobles, and the economy went into shambles. his mom remarried but even though their stepdad was nice, fennesz and his sister ended up strays on the street due to some reasons i forgot of. fennesz would get bullied by kids on the street because of his father's loss in the war, but his sister would always protect him, and they relied on each other for survival. she's very smart, as shown in the story. she also loves history, as she said, it can help people learn from the past. its heavily implied she is dead.

ok flure! flure grew up with his older sister and mother who both did ballet (can one of you have an actual dad for once?), and he also followed in their footsteps. however when he was a child he was bullied for liking stereotypical girly things, like playing with his sister's dolls, doing ballet and having long hair. even though he was laughed at for doing it, he still underwent strict training guided bg his sister and mother. he never found the courage to tell his sister or mom even though his sister could tell something was wrong (heard him crying at night). he still thinks he should be more courageous to this day and thinks he's pathetic. we don't know what happened to his family but they probably died.

i wanted to talk about boschi but i realized idk much about him apart from the fact that he only had his grandmother (who's actually a great caretaker for once!) and he was bullied for being a bookworm/nerd at school and had no friends. though he did actually beat those bullies up later for mocking his grandma when she wanted to take him back home. she didn't want boschi to fight but she said herself she was actually rooting for him when he was fighting LMAOOO love her for that

lono. ok so lono was really poor and had no parents, and he acted as the older brother for the younger kids living on the streets with him. he'd work as someone who'd clean up rubble from battling angels, which was a job that had unstable income since no one knows when angels are gonna appear. they were family basically. lono would rather starve than let his siblings eat less, and his love of cooking originated here because he loved seeing them happy from his cooking. we don't know what happened to them, but they're probably dead

nac was born into a rich family, and has a father, not sure if he has a mother, never mentioned at least. apparently the stein family was great at sales or trading or smth??? they're just some very rich and well-known name. however on his 12th birthday, his butler led him to the forest near the stein mansion, and revealed himself to be someone the stein family harmed. just as he was about to kill lil nac in shock, nac retaliated in defense. and when he realized, he already stabbed the man at his vital point. his dad appears out of nowhere and reveals that he knew this all along, and that the stein family is actually a long line of assassins with sales as their front personas. nac was trained to kill since then, and thought he'd never feel positive emotions again before he became a devil butler. he also has scars all around his body, probably from the assassin work he did.

lato and his non-blood related brother, Aleks I think? were kidnapped by people who wanted to train people to become angel fighters. however unlike berrien, this time it's just pure cruelness and literal torture. they were 8 when this experiment started. not only that, all the children were sold by their caretakers to this place, including lato and aleks' "mother", the head of their orphanage, who they deeply loved and believed in. when lato finally found a way to escape, almost half the children were dead.

and when he told the others, they told lato that they already gave up on escaping, including aleks. from, i suppose, all the suppressed anger and trauma, he burned the experiment facility down, leaving the other kids to die because he hallucinated that they wanted them to be burned so they could be free. after that, lato returned to the orphanage even though he knew the "mother" sold him in the first place. guess what the mother did! that's right she ran back into the orphanage when she saw him, locked the fucking door and told him to get the fuck away from her. and lato burned the orphanage down.

now onto the new butler trio!

teddy is the one with the most details in his backstory so far. when he was young, he Had a twin brother, and teddy was a far cry from who he is now. he was negative and gloomy compared to his brother, who was positive and talented, and people always favored teddy's brother more. but one day, his brother died protecting him from an angel, but since they were so alike people didn't know whether the one that died was teddy or his brother. and after grieving his brother, teddy decided to become him, and used his brother's name to live on as him so people wouldn't be sad, because "teddy" was the one that died. and that led to teddy forming his personality today. teddy is his actual name though, he started using it after he became a knight. he became a knight because he wanted to protect people from angels.

but during an attack by an intelligent angel, namely seraphim, one of the angels that appeared at the end of chapter 1 and also the major antagonist of the story, teddy's entire unit got killed. at the start of chapter 2.5, he recuperated in a hospital, however he kept terrible nightmares (reliving the massacre, and hearing the voices of his comrades asking him why he abandoned them and why he got to survive) and so didn't sleep at all. he eventually snuck out of the hospital to visit their graves, and then started wondering what the point of him still being alive is. he almost threw himself off a cliff before haures and aruji reached him.

hanamaru. ten years before the story, hanamaru was fleeing from something- he walked all the way from the east to the central, and collapsed in a forest. a nun found him and took him back to a church that doubled as an orphanage. however the nun soon fell ill and died, so hanamaru began taking care of the kids in the church after he was saved by her.

but 5 years later, the church was attacked by angels. he was away from the church when the attack happened, and when he came back, all he saw were angels flying away from the ruined church. only 4 kids survived. hanamaru had a breakdown, and kept kneeling and pressing his head against the ground, saying things like "i couldn't protect them", "i swear ill keep them safe next time", implying this is not the first time something like this has happened. he swore vengeance against the angels that day, that he would never forgive them, and himself. so berrien suspects that the 4 kids that survived were the people that kept hanamaru around. who knows what could've happened if they passed as well...

lastly (finally), yuuhan. at the age of 9, he trained to become a soldier of the sardeis family so he could protect his hometown, and made it after 3 years. he quickly rose up in the ranks, being a prodigy. in the main story, he started doubting his loyalty to the family after they attempted an assassination on the devil butlers. and he betrayed the sardeis family and fell into their trap when investigating forbidden records. he got thrown into jail by the head, and the head decided for his punishment, yuuhan's whole village and everyone he knew there will be burned and killed. he could only despair in jail. in the story, after his prison guard left after serving him food, yuuhan started crying. he called out to his father, his mother, everyone from his hometown, apologizing again and again, believing that it's his fault that they died.

after that, the head, fubuki, paid him a visit. fubuki beat yuuhan up, pushed him to the verge of death, but not grave enough injuries to die. yuuhan asked fubuki to kill him, but fubuki refused. he even says he'll force feed yuuhan till the day of his death execution if necessary. however, yuuhan was rescued by the butlers during his execution. (it took place in a forest with tigers. basically the death penalty is getting eaten by tigers) he became a devil butler after that.

holy shit. also im not typing Bastien's since you can read his backstory from the tls available here.

#akuneko #SUMMARIZING MY ASS. #when i said i took one hour to type all this i am not joking... #yua receives a question #devil butler with black cat #berrien cliane #lono fontaine #nac stein #flure garcia #lato bacca #hanamaru kawakami #haures clifford #fennesz oswald #boschi arenas #ammon lead #teddy brown #ohhh my god. how many of these mfs do i have to tag #lucas thompscie #miyaji oldia #lamli bennett #shinonome yuhan #shinonome yuuhan

[nervousgardenerkid]

Your beauty never ever scared me

a/n: HEYYY GUYSSS🥳it's been a hot ass second since i've posted something but i've been rly busy :( it doesn't help that my class is an ENGLISH class so i'm always writing but it's not what i want to write 💔 i hope u guys enjoy this little blurb! credit to the gif owner! <3

warnings: none really? the reader's arm gets grabbed, people call eddie names and push him, reader throws a punch, eddie talks bad about himself,,,that's pretty much it🫡

Eddie hasn't been the same since the upside down. You don't blame him, you know better than anyone else how traumatic it is. Especially when you've been on the verge of dying. You were thankful government officials cleared his name but the town never stopped calling him names. Murderer, monster, freak. He's been called every name in the book, yet this feels different now. It's like he believes them this time.

You watch him from the small picnic table with worried eyes as he jokes around with Dustin, he seems fine, normal even, but you know Eddie well enough to know he's not.

“He's not going to disappear, you know.”

You turn to look at Steve and let out a breathy laugh.

“I know. I just…I worry.” you say while turning your attention back to him.

“He hasn't been the same. He's distant.”

Steve lets out a hum. “You were too at one point.”

He was right, and you hate that he was. He had every right to distance himself, but you just want him to know that you're here for him.

“This is different. He won't even let me touch him.”

“Time heals all wounds y/n. Just give him time.”

You let out a sigh, your eyes never leaving Eddie. You smile softly at Eddie when you see him and Dustin making their way to the table you and Steve were sitting at. He takes a seat next to you, your legs barely touching and you tune out whatever Dustin is telling Steve.

“Hi, baby,” you mumble out trying your best not to lean into him.

He gives you a small smile and kisses your cheek.

“You okay?”

He sits for a minute before he nods his head.

“Yeah, think I'm just hungry or something.”

His hand brushes against yours and it's so hard trying not to find his hand but Eddie hasn't held your hand since the upside down. So you keep still and nod your head.

“Okay, are you ready to go?”

“Yeah, only if you are.”

You both say your goodbyes to Steve and Dustin, Steve makes sure to tell you again to give Eddie time when he hugs you. You and Eddie make your way to your car in silence and you let out a sigh when you start up the car.

“Where are we eating today Munson?”

-

You've been to this diner before. It used to be Eddie's favorite but you soon found yourselves eating there less and less before you both stopped going. The waitress smiled when she saw you two walk in, already sitting you two at your favorite booth and putting in your usual orders. Once the food was at the table Eddie was quick to dig in, he usually let his guard down when he was eating but you had your guard up. Your eyes scan the almost empty diner making sure no one is whispering under their breath or walking up to you two.

“Hey, your food is gonna get cold.”

You glance down at your food and give him an awkward smile.

“Sorry, I guess I'm not hungry.” you trail off, your eyes landing on a group of teens walking in.

Eddie stuffs some fries in his mouth.

“Are you sure? We can just go home.”

You swear you're trying to pay attention to him, you really are but you can't ignore the gut feeling you're having right now. You grab your car keys and slide them over to Eddie.

“When you're done go to the car, okay?”

You call the waitress over and hand her a generous tip mumbling how a mess might be made later. Eddie doesn't have time to question you before he has a vanilla milkshake poured over his head.

“Oops! Sorry, freak.”

Silence fell over the small diner except for the laughing that came from the kids. Your eyes lock on Eddie and you see him frozen to his spot. He's had his fair share of bullying but this hit differently.

“Go to the car,” you whisper while standing up from the booth. Eddie slowly nods his head and gets up.

“Woah, did I say the freak could leave?” one of the teens questioned while pushing Eddie. Eddie stumbles into you murmuring apologies about getting the shake all over you but you don’t care.

“What the fuck is your problem?!” you shout at the group of teens.

“We're protecting you! He's a murderer you know, just trying to make sure another pretty girl doesn't fall into the wrong hands.”

You scoffed and rolled your eyes when they bring up Chrissy.

“Fuck off.” You grabbed Eddie's hand and got ready to walk out when you felt someone grab onto your arm.

“Hey, I'm trying to save you bitch-”

You're not usually a fighter. The only time you've fought is when it came to the monsters from the upside down, and that one girl in elementary school when she took your toy. Next thing you know your fist is connecting to the guy's cheek and you're sprinting out of the diner. You're quick to try and grab the keys from Eddie's hands but he stops you.

“Easy there slugger, I'll drive us.”

You shake your head ready to argue that you can drive but when you see the group of teens run out of the diner you look at him and nod your head. A sigh of relief leaves your lips when Eddie manages to speed off before they could get to your car. The drive was silent as you opened and closed your bruised fist, biting down on your lip when you felt pain fall over your knuckles.

“Is your hand okay?”

You nod your head not looking away from your fist.

“Do you wanna go home?”

“No.”

“Okay. Do you wanna head back to my trailer?”

You look over at Eddie and then out of the window.

“Let's get out of here.”

“What do you mean?”

“Hawkins. I have our runaway bags in my trunk. We can go a couple of towns over and forget Hawkins, just for a night.”

As soon as the words left your mouth, Eddie was taking a route to get out of town.

“What about your parents?”

“I'll call them. I just wanna get out, please.”

-

You're leaning against the counter smiling at the older lady who is painting her nails and chewing her gum loudly.

“Hi, uh we want a room?” Eddie asked while tapping his fingers on the counter.

The lady looked up at Eddie and popped the bubble she was blowing. She rolled her eyes and set down the nail polish, blowing on her nails gently.

“King or queen?”

“I'm sorry?” he used while tilting his head to the side. She rolled her eyes once more and held out her hands.

“The bed size, sweetie. You want a big bed, a medium, or two small ones?”

Eddie stuttered over his words before you cleared your throat.

“We’ll take a king size. Thank you,” you squinted at her small nametag. “Christina.”

She smiled at you and squealed from behind the bubble she was blowing. She opened her mouth to pop it and set the room key in your hand.

“Want some advice? You know, girl to girl,” she asked while painting her nails again.

“Uh-”

“If you do anything with him, have him shower first. He smells like a milkshake that's been left in the sun. Okay bye!” she said excitedly while waving at you both and blowing a kiss. Eddie stood in disbelief with the bags in his hands.

“I'm like, right here you know?”

You let out a quiet giggle and drag Eddie onto the small elevator. The ride up to your room was quiet and your focus was back on your bruised fist until Eddie spoke up.

“Do I really smell like a milkshake that's been left in the sun?”

“A little, but it's okay.”

Eddie mumbled under his breath while you unlocked the door and stepped into the room with him not far behind. You both looked around the room with satisfied looks, it wasn't the best but it could've been much worse. Eddie dropped the bags on the floor and fought the urge to jump onto the big bed.

“I'm gonna hop in the shower since I smell so bad.”

You giggle and nod your head. “I should call my parents. Let them know I'm alive.”

The minute Eddie is in the shower you grab the phone that's on the nightstand and dial the first number you think of.

“Buckley resident-”

“Robin! Thank god you answered.”

You hear her chuckle and you swear you can see her shaking her head.

“Don't worry, your mom called earlier and I covered for you already.”

You let out a sigh of relief thanking her and leaning on the headboard of the bed.

“Where are you anyway?”

“Uh, I'm not sure.”

Robin let out a laugh. “Well just be careful okay?”

“I will be. Eddie is with me.”

“Romantic getaway?”

You hummed and looked down at your hand.

“Not exactly…”

“Oh my god, did you hear about what happened at the diner near the library?!”

“Yeah, yeah I did.”

Robin let out a whine. “What? How? I wanted to tell you about it.”

You let out an awkward cough and played with the cord of the phone.

“I was the one who punched him.”

Silence falls over the phone and you start to think that Robin hung up until she lets out a sigh.

“Okay, let's hear why.”

“They were being mean to Eddie, Robin. They poured their shake all over him then they started pushing on him,” you closed your eyes trying to calm down. “They still think he's a murderer.”

“Well he's not”

“Exactly!”

“But y/n, you're not gonna be able to make them see that. All that matters is you know Eddie. You know he's not a murderer, and he sure as hell isn't a monster. You know the truth, just let them live their lie.”

“I'm scared, Robin. I'm scared that this is getting to his head and that he'll just…disappear on me.”

“Babe, there's no way he'd disappear on you. On me and everyone else? Most definitely, but not you. Never you.”

“Are you sure?”

“Totally! Plus if he does, you can fall in love with me and we can have our best friends to lovers trope.”

You giggle and shake your head at her joke.

“But honestly, you have nothing to worry about y/n, just be there for him in any way that you can.”

You sigh and wrap the cord around your hand, wincing in pain when you feel the sting of your bruise.

“Yeah, you're right.”

“I always am. When will you and Steve learn this?”

“Never, thanks for listening Robin I owe you.”

“Ah, it's nothing. I'll let you go now! Bye, love you!”

“Mwah! Love you too!”

You hang up the phone and flop down onto the bed. For a random motel, you and Eddie found it had a really comfortable bed. Your eyes started to close and you felt like you were sinking into the bed when you heard a question being asked.

“Who was on the phone? Your other boyfriend?”

You tilt your head up at him and feel your cheeks get warm. He was shirtless. You've seen him shirtless before, but not since the upside down. He's stayed hidden underneath his favorite shirts for a while, so you're caught off guard by this. Your eyes drift down from his chest to the scars he's gotten from the bats. They're a bit faded now, but you know the memory is still fresh in his mind.

“Y-you have no shirt.”

Eddie clears his throat and nods his head.

“Yeah, I figured it was about time I showed some skin again. Unless you think I shouldn't?”

“No! I mean, yes? Wait, no let me try again.” You rush out while sitting up.

Eddie laughs and crosses his arms over his chest and looks at you with amusement.

“Yes, I think it's time you show some skin again, but like only with me, right?”

Eddie puts his knee on the bed and kisses your forehead.

“Only with you baby.”

You smiled at Eddie and threw yourself back down onto the bed.

“You gonna shower?”

You grunted and shook your head. “I showered before I picked you up.”

He let out a quiet hum and lifted the blankets.

“That's why you smelled so good today.”

“Do I usually stink?” you asked while peeking an eye open.

“Only a little,” he mocked.

You rolled your eyes and gently shoved him away while murmuring about how mean he is.

He gently places his hand on your calf and rubs small circles with his thumb.

“Are you tired?”

You nod your head and get under the blankets. Eddie follows your actions, and for the first time in a long time, he throws his arm around your waist and brings you close to him.

“You okay?” you ask him quietly while resting your hand on his cheek.

He lets out a sigh and nods his head.

“It's like I'm sleepy, but I don't wanna sleep.”

“I understand, you wanna try sleeping?”

He stays quiet, his eyes scanning your face.

“You've never been scared of me.”

“You never gave me any reason to be.”

“Everyone thinks I'm a monster. They always have, and sometimes I agree with them. It's hard to feel normal with all the scars, kinda makes me feel like one.”

You go silent, trying to think of what to tell him. You think back to what robin was telling you over the phone.

“Who cares what they think?”

“I do, not about me but when it comes to you,” he sighs and pulls you in closer. “People talk. I don't want you to get the short end of the stick 'cause you decided to stay with me.”

You giggle quietly and kiss him. It's short and sweet, but it's also full of passion.

“I don't care what they say about me,” you mumble against his lips. “They don't know us, Eddie. They think you're a freak, and they think I'm under some sort of cult spell because of how much I love you, but that's not true. They don't know a single thing about us.”

You pull away from him and push some hair out of his face.

“They think that we’re ugly, but I know we're beautiful. I'll get called every name in the book if it means I get to be by your side.”

Eddie ignores the stinging behind his eyes and bites his bottom lip to hide his smile. He gently kisses your forehead and sniffles a bit, you lift your head and wipe away the stray tear that managed to escape from his eye.

“You're beautiful Eddie. You always have been, even with the scars. Don't let them make you feel any different than that.”

Eddie shakes his head and lets out a broken chuckle.

“Thank you for staying with me. I know I haven't been around as much, I'm surprised you didn't leave.”

You wrap your arms around his head and bring him into your chest. He lets out a sigh of contentment and wraps his arms around your waist while you gently run your hands through his hair.

“Eddie my love, I'll stay with you as long as you need me to.”

#can u tell i didn't know how to end this #lol #eddie munson stranger things #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson blurb #eddie munson angst #eddie munson fluff #stranger things imagine #stranger things x reader #stranger things blurb #stranger things fluff #stranger things angst

[here4kpopfics]

Through the Night | JJK

Pairing: Jungkook x reader

Genre: Fluff

AU: Established Relationship

Wordcount: 3.3k

Warnings: mentions of anxiety, mentions of sex, a little making out. Also it’s this Jungkook and I’m not sorry.

Rating: PG-15ish?

A/N: This wasn’t meant to be this stupid long. This is the same couple as the one in Hold My Hand, and I have a list of different moments planned out for them. This ended up being like three of those moments in one. (You don’t need to read it first, but I’d love it if you did) This is the second thing I’ve written in over a decade and I’ve never been really good at writing physically intimate moments so this was a challenge for me. Please go easy on my babies. As usual, thank you to my loves @gimmethatagustd and @chryblossomjjk for not only beta reading but continuing to encourage me to keep writing. and Kiki for fixing my grammar bc I’m still very rusty. I love you both an obscene amount. As always, let me know what you think. A lovely little like and/or reblog are greatly appreciated, especially as I get back into this crazy writing world. thank you & I love you. 💜💜💜

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You hate storms. Absolutely hate them. You love the rain, though. The background noise of it as it helps you fall asleep or even helps you focus on tasks. You just hate what tends to come with the rain: thunder.

While you find lightning to be fascinating, and can watch it for hours trying to figure out where its starting point is, you prefer it when it’s as far away as possible. You count the seconds before you hear the deep rumbling of thunder, sending you under the covers in fear.

That’s exactly what’s happening tonight. The rain is coming down hard. The wind is too strong, making you feel uneasy in your apartment on the 15th floor. Your roommate, who is usually your safety blanket, is currently out of the country for work. This left you alone and unable to sleep in the dark, that sometimes becomes blinding light from the lightning being overhead. The thunder is almost deafening, rattling the windows.

You turned on your projector, casting light across your room to look like the northern lights, in an attempt to get lost in the colors and calm down. But it wasn't working. You’re on the verge of a horrific panic attack. You can feel it, and you subconsciously grab your phone. You can’t call your roommate because he’s on a plane and you can’t call your mother because the time difference is horrible. You scroll through your contacts until you land on his name.

You’ve been dating for a little over five months now, and it feels pretty serious. No “I love you's'' have been exchanged and the intimate moments were still relatively safe, but he calls you his and he is yours. But you didn’t want to scare him away with your irrational fears, and definitely didn’t want him to see you when you could barely control your anxiety. Not yet at least. He’d seen you panic over things you deemed reasonable to panic over like large crowds, people suddenly yelling, or receiving worrisome news. But you managed to contain the panic over the things you deemed unreasonable like fireworks, placing or receiving the wrong food order, the sheer idea of taking the subway alone, or in this case, thunder. 

You also didn’t want to admit to him how his voice was the most calming thing you’ve ever heard. How all you have to do in a situation that makes you anxious, is just make him speak about literally anything. That makes your heart rate lower almost instantly, as you focus on the beautiful cadence of his voice to distract you from the overwhelming surroundings. You aren’t ready to admit that to him because you don’t know if he would find it creepy or not.

You are about to scroll away from his name when, in rapid succession, your room lights up white. Not even two seconds later your entire building shakes, causing you to jump and scurry back under the blankets, trying to remember your breathing exercises. After a moment, finally getting your heart rate down just enough, you hear a voice muffled from under your pillow. Your eyes widen, praying you didn’t actually do what you did and he didn’t actually pick up. You grab your phone, turn it over slowly, and see your call screen with Jungkook’s name at the top. You immediately hang up the phone in a panic. 

Not even ten seconds later it starts ringing again. You let it go to voicemail, but it just starts ringing again, whilst getting messages asking if you were okay. You know Jungkook enough to know he isn’t going to give up. Letting out a heavy sigh, you take the phone under the covers with you and answer quietly.

“Hello?” 

“Y/n, did you just call? Is everything okay?”

“Uh…oh, did I? Sometimes I text in my sleep and I- I guess I accidentally…called…you…?” You try your best to sound convincing, fumbling over your words while pulling at the threads in your blanket. “I’m sorry if I woke you up.”

He lets out a groggy laugh. “You’re a terrible liar, y/n.”

“Shut up…it was an accident, okay? That’s all it was. Go back to sleep and I’ll see y-“

You’re cut off by another round of bright light, surrounding your room with bone rattling thunder. You let out a curse and clutch the phone closer to your ear, as if that’s going to help drown out the thunder.

“Y/n? What happened? Are you okay?“ He sounds so genuinely worried and you hate lying, to him especially, so with a shaky exhale you try to explain it as quickly as possible. 

“Ihatethunderandthestormispassingabovemybuilding. Danny isn’t home so I’m alone and scared andIjustwantedtohearyourvoice.” You squeeze your eyes shut, one hand clutching your phone and the other gripping the blanket still over your head. You prepare for the taunting, or to hear the line go dead, for several moments before you hear movement and the sound of keys on the other end. “Jungkook? What are you doing?“ 

“Is the passcode to get into the building still 0413?” He inquires and you hear a door close and an engine rev.

“Yes…but - Kook, you’re not coming over.”

“Yes I am.”

“No you’re not.”

“But I already am.”

“Then turn back around and go back to bed. You’re not coming over at 2:30 in the morning. You had a long day, go home.” 

“I have had enough sleep to come over. It’ll be fine.”

You huff, throwing the blanket off you and sitting up, snapping into what he titled Brat Mode whenever neither of you could agree on something, but refused to give up. “You know arguing with me is never going to end well. I will win. Every time.”

“And you know arguing with me will result in you up against a wall begging me to show you why you’re wrong.” He chuckles at your immediate silent response, knowing how flustered you get at the mention of anything sexual. It was killing him that he couldn't see how red your cheeks were right now. Realizing you still haven’t said anything after a minute or two, he checks the phone to make sure you were still on the line as he pulls out of the parking garage of his complex. “Whether you like it or not, y/n, I’ll be there in 27 minutes. Try to get some rest until I get there, okay?” 

“…Okay…,” you mumble softly. “Thank you…,” you whisper before hanging up. You tuck your phone back under your pillow and bring the blanket back over your head to hide away until your savior arrived. 

You’re not sure how long it’s been, because you were finally able to fall asleep with the knowledge you weren’t going to be alone. But you were jolted awake with a harsh crash of thunder. You couldn’t move, which terrified you more. Your fight or flight instincts kick in and you try to thrash out of whatever it was that is holding you down. It’s not working and the hold only gets stronger and tighter, but this time is followed by a worried voice in your ear. “Fuck, what the hell, y/n calm down it’s me. It’s Jungkook!” The last sentence ends in a light yell while you continue to thrash, panic flooding every fiber of your being. “Hey, focus on me, y/n I’m right here.” His left arm comes out from under your pillow and he maneuvers to hover over you; his weight on the left arm and the right hand leaving your waist to cup your face. “It's me. I'm here. You’re okay.” He murmurs over and over, searching your eyes for any recognition of him. It takes a few more moments before your eyes finally lock with his. It is like something clicks in your mind and you become frozen. 

”…Koo…?” You murmur softly, bringing both your hands up to cup his face, verifying he was real. With that verification, your eyes immediately well up and begin threatening to spill. His right thumb, still glued to your face, begins wiping away any tears that succeeded in escaping as he presses his forehead to yours. “You’re here…,” you trail off, lightly bumping your nose to his and trying to smile, even though your unreasonable brain wants to burst into tears and your lungs are straining to get any air in or out.

He lets out another small laugh, giving you your favorite beautiful smile with a scrunched-up nose. “Yeah, sweetheart. It’s me. I’m here. What happened there, huh? I told you I was coming over.” He whispers, leaning in to kiss your cheeks where he had just wiped the tears. “I probably should’ve woken you first, but you were finally asleep and I didn’t want to wake you. I’m sorry, bug.” 

“S’okay…” you yawn, stretching out underneath him before wrapping your arms around him and bringing him down to you fully. He snakes his arm back around your waist and rolls onto his back, letting you rest against him. Tucking your face into his neck, you smile and inhale deeply, wanting to find comfort in his entire being, but are met with a different smell entirely. Pulling your head back away from his neck, you look down at his sweater. “Why are you wearing Danny’s clothes?” You scrunch up your face at the smell. It wasn’t a bad smell, your roommate’s smell was fine and was actually the smell that brought you the most comfort. At least until you met Jungkook, then it became the second. 

The boy under you just smirks, moving your hair out of your face. “I forgot an umbrella, so the brief run to the car and then to your building, soaked my clothes. And I figured Danny wouldn’t mind me borrowing some sweats since he’s not here. Why?”

“You just smell like him. It’s weird.”

“Weird?”

“Yeah. Like, I know it’s you here with me, but you smell like someone else and it’s throwing me off. I don’t like it.”

“I can take it off if it’s really upsetting you. I don’t mind sleeping naked.” His offer sounded so serious, as if he was really concerned, but his facial expression said otherwise. He was fully teasing you, getting his wish to see your flustered cheeks like he wanted to earlier. You open your mouth in shock and look anywhere else but towards his gaze,  ending up on a piece of the hoodie that you were already clutching. “Would that be better? That way you just smell me?” He adds with a big grin across his face, tongue playing with the metal ring around his bottom right lip. 

You shake your head vigorously. “No no, it’s fine. I’ll get over it. It’s fine.” You rattle off, still clutching onto the hoodie. But he ignores you, sitting up and grabbing the bottom of the hoodie to start taking it off.

“No no, the princess can’t stand the smell. Therefore we must get rid of it posthaste! Before she bans us from ever returning to the castle.” He announces in the most dramatic fashion as he pulls the hoodie off, remaining in his own shirt. “I’ll just use the princess’ body heat to keep warm during this terrible storm. I’m sure she won’t mind.” He jokes, laying back down to wrap his arms around your laughing form again, tucking your head back where it belongs, in the crook of his neck. “There. All better, my princess?” 

You force yourself to contain your laughter and sound as monotonous as possible, “No. I like Danny’s smell better. Put it back on, you stink.” 

“How very dare you! After I traversed the dangerous outside elements to come and be by your side in your time of need, and this is how you treat me? The disrespect! The audacity!” 

You finally burst into laughter as he begins to tickle your sides, wheezing and trying to stop him by rolling away, only ending up with him back on top of you. He loved to tickle you, but you were still anxious from the storm and laughing to the point of wheezing, which always ended in you hyperventilating. You tapped both hands on his chest almost in a panic. 

“Koo, too much, please. Too much. I can’t - I can’t breathe.” Your eyes start welling up again and he stops immediately, leaning down to kiss the space between your eyebrows. 

“Okay, too far, I’m sorry. Breathe, bug. Breathe slowly.” He coaches your breathing for a few moments until you’re steady again. He is still above you, looking down at you like you’re his whole world. And you are. He knew it the second he met you and learned your name that you were going to be the one he would always want in any timeline in the universe. You were the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, proving to you and the universe that you were his reason for being. His gaze travels from your eyes to your lips, to the steady breathing from your chest, back to your eyes, and then finally landing back on your lips. He mumbles something about how you have no clue what you mean to him before deciding to just give in and press his lips against yours, moaning into the kiss immediately. Your breath hitches and it takes a second before you shut your eyes and kiss him back with the same amount of desire, tangling your hands in his hair as his own hands drop from your waist down to your hips, gripping them tightly and pressing himself down into you. 

You two stay like this, hands roaming each other while he stays slotted between your legs. Your lips connected, only separating for air, or for him to trail down your neck before coming back to your pillowy lips. As if he could never get enough of them. You smile into the kiss, your hands reaching down toward his sweatpants. One of his stays firmly on your hip and the other under your shirt, slowly creeping up your stomach. Just as you were about to reach the promised land, a clash of thunder rumbles through your room, reminding you both why your boyfriend was here in the first place. You flinch at the noise, causing Jungkook’s creeping hand to retreat immediately out of reflex, learning not to touch you when you are uncomfortable. He looks down at you with wide eyes, hoping he didn’t do anything wrong, moving his other hand off your hip and onto the bed out of caution. “You okay, bug? Did I do something?” His voice shakes and you can’t tell if it is from the lack of air from making out, or his concern of hurting you.

“No, you’re fine. I’m fine. The thunder. I forgot about the thunder.” You choked on a small laugh out of embarrassment, covering your face with your hands. “I’m sorry. We can continue…if you want.”

He sighs, looking towards the window that displayed the city, the beautiful lightning dancing around the sky. He places a soft kiss on your forehead before getting off of you to close the blinds. When he returns, you expect him to crawl back on top of you and finish what you started. Instead, he crawls behind you, pulling your back flush against his chest, snaking an arm around your waist, and hooking a leg in between yours. He nudges your ear with his nose, kissing behind it before murmuring “Nah, it can wait. I’d rather have you on edge because of me and my tongue rather than the storm.” He practically counted down to when you gasped and watched your cheeks redden for what felt like the millionth time tonight. It was getting frustrating for you that he had this hold over you just by mentioning anything sexual. So you said fuck it and tried your best at responding in kind. 

“But don’t you need…I don’t know….help? With this?” You tried to sound as innocent as possible as you rolled your hips back against his crotch. His hand left your stomach, immediately gripping your hip in place against him and huffing into your ear.

“Don’t.” Got him. 

“Don’t what?” You ask sweetly, tilting your head back to try to get a better view of him. 

“Y/n…I’m trying to be the good supportive boyfriend that comforts you through storms. Not the boyfriend that completely ruins you and makes you mine over and over again.”

Don’t let him win, y/n.

“What if that’s the boyfriend I want?” You tried to roll your hips again but his grip only tightened further. 

“Then you’re shit out of luck, bug.” he tries to sound stern, but you weren’t completely unsuccessful with the last hip roll. It was taking everything in him not to buck his hip forward. 

You huff and lay your head back down on the pillow, facing away from him. “Maybe I should find a new boyfriend then…” you mutter softly, clutching the blanket closer to you. 

Jungkook’s jaw tightens and you feel his death grip on your hip release. His hand slides up past your waist, over your forearm, past your shoulder, and across to your throat where he lightly wraps his hand around it, bringing your head closer to his face. You knew you did it. You made him snap. Jealous Jungkook will always be the way to go if you want to win. You can feel it and you’re excited. However, instead of crushing his lips onto yours or attacking your jaw with aggressive love bites before completely ruining you, he kisses your temple, your cheekbone, the crook of your neck, ending on your shoulder blade before he takes a deep breath. “Y/n, it is almost 4 in the morning on a Wednesday. You have work in the evening and I cannot consciously allow you to go tired and sore. So behave.” He threatens before lightly biting down on your shoulder. 

You let out a defeated whimper, making him giggle. “You suck.” you sound like a fucking toddler about to have a tantrum. 

“I know. Now go to sleep, princess. I’ll be right here all night…or morning…” he let go of your throat, wrapping his arm around your waist again, this time tugging you back to him a little harsher to serve as a ‘my decision has been made’ move. You mumble an okay and a goodnight before getting comfortable and closing your eyes, happy to be wrapped up in his embrace. 

It’s completely silent except for the rain, the now distant thunder, and both of your slow breathing when Jungkook opens his sleepy eyes and looks down at your resting face. You look so happy and it overwhelms him thinking it’s because of him. He’s the reason you feel safe in someone’s arms. He’s the one you called when you were scared. He’s the one that gets to hold your hand, kiss you, and touch you. He tucks a loose strand of hair behind your ear and leans in to kiss your temple. He hesitates there for a few seconds before finally whispering “I love you, bug. So much. I hope that’s okay.” 

He places another gentle kiss and settles back down, closing his eyes, beginning to drift off to sleep while thinking of better ways to tell you when you were awake. Except you hadn’t fallen asleep yet. You heard him and you were struggling to control your breathing and the desire to turn around and verify what he just confessed. Instead, you waited a few moments that felt like an eternity until you were able to control your lungs long enough to form two sentences. 

“It’s more than okay. I love you, too, Koo…” you whisper it so softly you weren’t sure if he heard it or if he was even still awake, until you felt him stiffen and his grip on you tighten. Neither of you said anything more, just basked in the love you both had for one another and finally having it out there. You drift off to sleep with a big smile on your face. Suddenly storms aren’t so horrible if it means having the person you love there by your side. 

#btshoneyhive #bangtaninn #jeon jungkook #Jeon Jung Kook #BTS #Jungkook x reader #jjk x reader #jungkook fluff #jungkook fanfiction #jungkook moments #jungkook fluff piece #jjk #jungkook fanfic #jungkook #jungkook fic #Kelly posts #Kelly writes #fic: Through the Night

[axailslink]

I just realized I forgot to add the character lol

“There was love”- Alex Isley

And the character is riri

Is there still love?

Riri Williams x poc FEM reader

Summary: a fanfic based on the song "There was love" by Alex Isley in which Riri and the reader have recently broken up and they're acting as if they don't know each other but it's really hard when Riri and the reader know just how much they loved each other.

As you're in bed all your mind can do is replay the events of last week the yelling, the pushing and the cursing it was one hell of an event. You remember it a bit too well you want to forget and just remember the good moments of eating ramen because that's all you could afford or dancing with her mom because you were the only girl she liked. You can't deal with this but you can't sulk either you have class in fifteen and you're still in your pajamas. Even as you shower and get dressed all you can think of is her and how you wish you could mend the relationship but it's been a week you're long past mending and healing. When you arrive at your lecture you don't even bother to look in her direction because why would you? It's over you both are better off this way heartbroken and wishing for what you had in the past.

The lecture seems as if it's half the day when it's finally finished you grab your things only to see Riri standing right behind you with the bracelet you bought for her "I'm not taking that" you grab your bag and she sighs "please I can't keep it it's a reminder of you" "Riri I'm not taking back the gift I gave you I want you to have it even if we aren't together." She sighs again but this one is shaky as she breathes out and you can tell she's on the verge of tears. "Take the fucking bracelet" she adverts her gaze to your hands and shoves it in them when she looks back up at you her eyes are glassy and you almost break right there. She doesn't give you enough time to have a reaction as she hurriedly walks away. She'd given you back everything your hoodies your gifts but this one hurt the most. She never took this bracelet off she loved this bracelet it meant so much to her and this was the end you knew this was the end. She wouldn't have given this bracelet up if it was the last thing that could save her life in an apocalypse.

You can't. You just can't let her block you out completely like she did everyone else you can't become a nobody in her eyes not when you've seen all of her and loved all of her you wouldn't dare go back to being a nobody. You grab your things and follow her to her dorm before she can close the door you push past and close it for her "no Riri hell no! Okay I fucked up I did I lied I admit that but you can't just forget me you can't lock those feelings away" you grab her hand and she glares at your hand but she doesn't move "I only asked one thing of you and it was to never lie to me and you did it anyways! You lied to me!" You grab both hands now "I lied for your safety I knew you'd hate me but I lied for your safety! People want you dead...People want Ironheart dead and honestly truth be told fuck Ironheart but I love my girlfriend more anything in this world and if she is Ironheart I damn sure wouldn't let the world know it. I'd lie millions of times for you." She gasps at these words "you know?" You shrug "do you think I'm stupid? I can recognize you from your choice of words Riri you stopped showing up at a certain time, you came to your dorm tired, you had bruises, when Ironheart was being spotted you were gone it wasn't that hard to put 2 and 2 together. I lied to you for you! So hate me so fucking be it but I lied I ruined us for your safety. So keep the damn bracelet because you will not forget me or the love we shared. I love you and I will never stop loving you." You let your hands embrace her face as you stare at her tear stricken face you know better but you can't help yourself as you plant a kiss on her lips she kisses back immediately missing your touch. "I'm sorry I'm so sorry baby I would never lie to you if I didn't have to" she nods "I know." When you both pull apart you both have tears in your eyes "I know there was love once but is there still love?" You let your hand gently keep her near you as it holds her securely close to you as it lays on her lower back. "I don't know." It's a heartbreak but you understand as you nod and pull away. "Don't leave me..." You nod "I would never" you sit on her bed and pat the empty space beside you. "I would never."

A/n: this got a bit sad 😭 sorry

#WHERE ARE THE RIRI FICS #riri my love #riri is my gf #riri williams x black!reader #riri x black!reader #ironheart x reader #riri williams black panther #riri williams x reader #black panther fics #black panther fic #black panther wakanda forever #black panther imagine #black panther x reader #riri x fem reader #riri imagine #riri williams imagine #riri x reader #riri couple #riri williams #riri williams x fem!reader #riri williams x black!fem!reader #black panther #dominique thorne #riri black panther #shuri x fem!reader #shuri x f!reader #letitia wright shuri #Dominique thorne riri Williams #Riri angst #Riri williams angst

[missjanjie]

100 Prompts #4

im so obsessed with seeing my other hundred prompt list being used so much, seeing what different people do with the same sentences is so cool! so, here’s another one! please send me a number + ship (au/trope where applicable)

“There is something profoundly wrong with you. I like it.” 

“It’s okay to be wrong sometimes.”

“Pretty sure that’s illegal.”

“A candlelit dinner? Okay, what did you do?”

“Don’t fucking start with me.”

“Well, I’m pretty sure I’m not dying, at least.” 

“I chose you. I’ll always choose you.”

“That kid is too cute to be yours.”

“What the hell happened here?”

“It doesn’t have to be like this.”

“I don’t need to be saved.”

“Just shut up and listen.”

“It’s nice to feel wanted for once.”

“I could be perfect for you.” 

“You have to stop working so hard.”

“I’m on the verge of breaking down!” 

“Only you could make me swoon at something so corny.”

“I just wanna sleep.” 

“Can you ever forgive me?”

“Things are gonna get better, I promise.”

“You’re such a lightweight, it’s adorable.”

“This thing has been following me everywhere.”

“That can’t be healthy.”

“Where am I? Why are we naked?” 

“I made this for you.” 

“Oh my god, I’ve been so stupid.”

“That shouldn’t be arousing, and yet…”

“You didn’t really think I’d forget, did you?”

“Please don’t leave.”

“I can’t believe you actually did that.”

“Oh, you’re drunk drunk.”

“I wasn’t staring at your ass! I mean… I was, but I was trying to be subtle.”

“You don’t know me as well as you think you do.”

“At least you’re pretty.”

“When did that happen?”

“You sure know how to keep me on my toes.”

“There’s something I should’ve told you.”

“You’re too good to be in a place like this.”

“I don’t know who I am anymore.”

“That face won’t work on me, babe.” 

“You did all of this for me?” 

���I’m not saying making out would help, but it couldn’t hurt.” 

“You are exhausting sometimes.” 

“You little brat.”

“I want to be there so you don’t have to be brave.”

“What’s in it for me?”

“I am giving you one chance to explain yourself.”

“Wow, I’ve never been anywhere so fancy.”

“C’mon, live a little.”

“I have to go.”

“I can’t look at you, it’s like staring into the sun.”

“Don’t touch me!”

“Pack a bag, let’s get out of here.”

“I don’t belong here.”

“Sorry, I think I’m lost.”

“I’m in love with you.”

“Damn, when did you get hot?”

“I miss what we used to be.”

“You don’t have to say you love me.”

“I didn’t know where else to go.”

“No one's gonna hurt you while I’m around.”

“You’re a mess, come inside.”

“I thought I knew what falling in love felt like before I met you.”

“It’s all coming back to me now.”

“I just… I couldn’t do it.” 

“Listen, I love Britney Spears as much as the next person, but we have to put a curfew on your singing along.” 

“I don’t have anything figured out.” 

“Take a chance on me.” 

“How long have you been there?”

“I think I’m finally ready for love.” 

“Maybe in another life, we would’ve been perfect together.”

“I can’t explain all the things you make me feel.”

“You look familiar.”

“I hate how lonely I’ve become.”

“Come a little closer, baby.” 

“I’ll wait for you, I always do.”

“There is a completely normal explanation for this, I swear.” 

“It’s too early for this shit.” 

“I don’t wanna talk.” 

“You’re the most important thing in my life.” 

“What are you staring at?”

“By the way, you were my first.”

“You knew I loved you.”

“I realized I was trying to make my life into a movie, but the story continues after the happy ending.” 

“So all of this meant nothing to you?” 

“I plead the fifth.”

“You have no idea how badly I need you.” 

“I didn’t think it would get this bad.” 

“Hey. Turn around.” 

“Um, sorry about your friend.”

“Can I make it up to you?”

“This just doesn’t feel right.”

“I just want a fairytale ending after everything I’ve been through.” 

“Take care of yourself.”

“Could you relax for like, five minutes? For once?” 

“I… wow, you look incredible.” 

“Let’s go back to my place.” 

“I’m not high enough for this.” 

“Why do you hate me?” 

“Fuck this, I’m out.”

#writing prompts #fic prompts #sentence prompts #sentence starters #fic starters #writing starters

[thebestpersonherelovesbucky]

Just venting

I’m not doing so well. I sort of feel like I’ve suddenly plunged back into an emotional downward spiral. I haven’t felt like this in months. but I think I know what’s really behind it.

My obgyn (she’s not the culprit lol) put me on the pill. Every time I’ve tried using it in the past, it’s sent my emotions into chaotic turmoil. This particular one, my doc said, isn’t known to having much of an effect on moods and also won’t interfere with my current med-cocktail. The reason I’m taking it in the first place is because I won’t stop bleeding, even after having surgery to fix the problem. 

After about three weeks of not bleeding (after continuously bleeding for at least three weeks, and HEAVY) I started bleeding a week and a half ago in a relatively normal way (other than it continuing for more than a week). Made me think it was the first sorta typical period I’ve had in over a year. Then Sunday, it was like the elevator scene in The Shining. This past week alone, I’ve gone through two boxes of overnight pads. Cramps are horrendous. Not to mention how tired and weak and unfocused and achy (more achy than usual) I feel all the time. 

This actually started in early 2021 (and, yes, I did speak to my old doctor then and we thought we fixed it but...)

And now I’m so depressed and down and gloomy. On the verge of tears all the time. Unable to concentrate. Bleeding and bleeding and bleeding, worrying that I might start leaking while out in public (which has happened) or stain the carpet, couch, bed.

And then I made the mistake of looking at reviews of my books, and even though there’re plenty of good things said about them, there’s those that aren’t and we all know how the negative sticks a lot more than the positives. 

I’m trying extremely hard to not only remember that I can’t please everyone but also how this could be a way to improve. While commentary such as “total waste of money” and “I wanted to throw it across the room I hated it so much” and “it feels like fourteen-year-old girls wrote this” (which is pretty offensive, actually) don’t help in the slightest, other critiques might. Things like “this was repeated so often that it was annoying” or “there’s too much telling and not enough showing” can be very helpful. Like, oh, okay, I can see why you didn’t like it because of that, I’ll keep that in the back of my mind and hopefully do better next time. 

On top of that, I’ve been having so much trouble actually writing and seeing that certainly didn’t help because now I feel like I shouldn’t even bother when rationally I know that’s stupid and it doesn’t matter if some people don’t like it and i think a lot of this reaction comes from the change in my moods bc i’m on the pill and it’s not even working.

It’s not even working.

Which means the next step might be a hysterectomy, and even though there’s barely even the slightest chance that we might have another baby, I still want to so badly. So badly that it hurts. I often dream about having another child. My dreams are usually all sorts of crazy, these dreams are perfectly normal. Like freaking WandaVision without the magic. Just a little world of my own while I sleep and when I wake all I want to do is cry. For ten years people kept saying “Oh, you have plenty of time, don’t worry!” when I’d talk about this (only with my husband, sisters, mom, and therapist) and here I am. Out of time. 

And I know this all sounds incredibly selfish. I have two beautiful children and I feel so blessed that I do and they mean the world to me. It’s just that three was the number always in my head. The day after my youngest was born I was already talking about planning for another. Now there’s this ache burrowed deep in my chest that just won’t go away. 

Anyway. I’m just venting to the void. 

#my stuff #personal #negative #stfubucks #no one cares #god i'm just so sad #and i miss writing so badly #it's like there's a part of me missing #i'm so sick of being SICK all the time #ugh idek #just ignore me #menstruation #blood mention #long post

[lovelylittlelosers]

You know what, answer as many as you'd like! 💜💜💜 And skip whichever you want to. 💜💜💜

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents?

02: Who did you last say “I love you” to?

03: Do you regret anything?

04: Are you insecure?

05: What is your relationship status?

06: How do you want to die?

07: What did you last eat?

08: Played any sports?

09: Do you bite your nails?

10: When was your last physical fight?

11: Do you like someone?

12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours?

13: Do you hate anyone at the moment?

14: Do you miss someone?

15: Have any pets?

16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment?

17: Ever made out in the bathroom?

18: Are you scared of spiders?

19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?

20: Where was the last place you snogged someone?

21: What are your plans for this weekend?

22: Do you want to have kids? How many?

23: Do you have piercings? How many?

24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)?

25: Do you miss anyone from your past?

26: What are you craving right now?

27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart?

28: Have you ever been cheated on?

29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?

30: What’s irritating you right now?

31: Does somebody love you?

32: What is your favourite color?

33: Do you have trust issues?

34: Who/what was your last dream about?

35: Who was the last person you cried in front of?

36: Do you give out second chances too easily?

37: Is it easier to forgive or forget?

38: Is this year the best year of your life?

39: How old were you when you had your first kiss?

40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked?

51: Favourite food?

52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason?

53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?

54: Is cheating ever okay?

55: Are you mean?

56: How many people have you fist fought?

57: Do you believe in true love?

58: Favourite weather?

59: Do you like the snow?

60: Do you wanna get married?

61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?

62: What makes you happy?

63: Would you change your name?

64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?

65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?

67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?

68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

69: Do you believe in soulmates?

70: Is there anyone you would die for?

Ahhh hi 💜! Okay I’m gonna pick a few!!

01. Do you have a good relationship with your parents?

- I chose this one because it’s complicated but I’m really proud of how my relationship with my father has progressed. We didn’t used to have a good relationship but now we are very close and I wouldn’t change that for anything.

37. Is it easier to forgive or forget

- For me: to forgive. I struggle to ignore anything, especially it it was significant in my life. I hold a lot of grudges that I usually end up twisting in my head so that I seem like the bad guy and I forgive the person who’s hurt me. That doesn’t mean I go back to them and tell them this, but losing the experience completely or holding onto that pain just doesn’t work for me.

55. Are you mean?

- Only when it’s really deserved! Or if I’m on the verge of a breakdown. (I also get snappy when I’m tired or after any inconvenience.) oh. Maybe I AM mean. No… right? Yeah no, i don’t think I’m mean.

69. Do you believe in soulmates?

- No! I believe in compatibility and being in love with someone completely despite and because of everything about them that isn’t comparable with you. But I don’t think there are people who are made for other people. But isn’t it a pretty thought? I do love a good soulmate au (I’m a hopeless romantic!)

I’m so bad at making decisions I can’t believe you’ve done this to me!! (Jk, thank you for the ask!!!)

#ask game #darktwistedgenderplural #asks

[jenibearx3]

February Wrap Up

✔️ Books Read (7)

Girls Like Girls

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert

Nightbitch

A Snake Falls to Earth

D'Vaughn and Kris Plan a Wedding

Winter Counts

An Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods and Madness

❌️ Books Dropped (0)

✔️Girls Like Girls 🏳️‍🌈

By, Hayley Kiyoko

❤️❤️

🩸

OMG, the feelings I had while reading this. The will they won't they that pulled on my heart strings and had me anticipating every word. So basically, Coley ends up living with her estranged father after losing her mother. She's a teenage girl on the verge of adulthood, high emotions and tensions as she deals with lose and going from a large city to the middle of nowhere with a father she doesn't know. Yay… haha. Only for feelings to bud between a girl that she doesn't know will respond to her feelings, let alone just not hate her for them. After all, timing is everything when it comes to love. And queer love, that not knowing if they are queer too, that's even more intense. It was a wonderful journey that I just hoped that at the end of it all, that Coley ended up where she wanted to be. I loved it and it's what young love can be like, bittersweet, but gods, when it all works out, you melt. 

There is a bit of violence, as tensions run high, but for love, sometimes, ya gotta be a lover and a fighter.

And it's based off of her song, Girls Like Girls! Like, omg, it had me listening to that song with the same verve as when it first came out. I watched the music video all over with so much more to it now that I knew the fullness of its vision. Made me love it all the more.

✔️The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert

By, John M. Gottman and Nan Silver

❤️❤️

Marriage. People are constantly trying to figure what makes a marriage fall apart, but these experts try instead to look at what makes it work. It can be hard to look at the rubble and think about what could have prevented it. However, the answers can easily be found when you look at marriage that stand the test of time. They look at hundreds of marriages, and found what really matters time and time again. There isn't much queer representation, but that's the sad fact that there is just last of data since being openly queer is still relatively new. But the findings here are helpful for any relationship, since this is all about human connection and making a bond that last. It's a great read even if you don't feel like ya need it, cuz it offers such great communication exercises and practices. 

✔️Nightbitch

By, Rachel Yoder

❤️❤️❤️

🩸🩸

🔥

Oh this book, I wasn't sure where it was going, but damn did it leave me with that post book high I love. It starts off with every woman's struggle in modern day of having a child while also working. Sure she's married, a good husband too, and of course she adores her baby. Everything she's given up she's done so because it was her choice, but damn it all if she isn't losing her mind, literally. At first she tries to balance her art career and her baby, but something eventually has to give. So she stays home with the baby, and while she doesn't regret it she does struggle with it. Then her body starts to change, subtle at first but eventually it's clear she might just be changing into something unhuman. She begins to fear she's turning into a werewolf, and if that's such a bad thing.

What starts as a half joke, being called a NightBitch, soon turns into an acceptance of it, an embodiment of it. The first half had my feminist rage fire burning with fury as she loses her mind over being a mother in these contradictory times, in a society that was built against her in the first place. It made my blood boil and crave more. Then it turns softer, reflective as she starts to come into her own and find a balance. I loved it, start to finish. I may not have foreseen the ending, but I adored the journey none the less. It's avant-garde to say the least, and if you like a wild ride then I definitely recommend this book.

If you enjoy art, especially performing and interruptive art, read this book.

If you are a feminist, read this book.

If you are a mother, read this book.

I can't stop thinking about it and I hope you too can experience this post book high that I'm still coming down from. This is definitely going into my favorite books collection.

✔️A Snake Falls to Earth

By, Darcie Little Badger

❤️

🩸

This is such a cute book, really. It's something I wish I had read as a kid, a solid middle school book for sure. It was good, but I feel like it would have meant more if I had been younger. I love the Indigenous stories and lore woven into the narrative. They gave me information steadily and it never felt info-dumping or forced. 

Nina is a young Lipan girl who ends up in a lot more trouble than she asked for as she tries to unravel the last story her grandmother left her. And it also follows Oli, a cottonmouth kid in the land of spirits that is just trying to survive all on his own. Through each of their own journey's, they end crossing paths and needing one another. 

It had such fun elements that were a joy to read. There is some fighting, death is mention too, but for the most part it isn't too gruesome to recommend to younger readers.

✔️D'Vaughn and Kris Plan a Wedding 🏳️‍🌈

By, Chencia C. Higgins

❤️

🔥🔥

If you love MTV reality tv shows, then you're probably gonna love this book. Especially if you've always wanted one with queer people and real deal feelings involved. D'Vaughn and Kris each sign up as contestants on the show for their own reasons, but each is in it to win it. They basically have to convince their families that they want to marry this person that the family have never met before. Cuz technically, they just met themselves. If they can make it to the wedding ceremony, then they get the big bucks. 

The catch? They have six weeks to do it, haha. They may even be able to pull it off, but maybe that's because there is truths mixed into their lies. It even gets hot and heavy on their way to winning the whole show. It was a fun read, but if you're not into how shows like that work, it's kinda mid. 

✔️Winter Counts

By, David Heska Wanbli Weiden

❤️❤️❤️

🩸🩸

OMG, this is one of my new favorite books. It's an intense read that takes place on the Rosebud Indian Reservation. Virgil Wounded Horse is a local enforcer who's more like a vigilante for hire. He isn't the greatest guy, but he does his best to be there for his nephew. 

Then shit hits the fan real fast as his nephew is swept up in some trouble. He keeps trying to make the "right" choice, but the mess just becomes bigger and bigger as he tries to unravel it all. He struggles with who is, where he comes from, and with how he can protect his nephew. 

It's thrilling and intense as they work their way through the mystery that's been right under their noses this whole time. And there is some dark moments; violence, blood, guns, and drugs. But there is also some really good moments as he reconnects with his EX, does everything he can for his nephew, and finds himself again with the aid of his community.

Usually I don't like open ended endings, but the book couldn't have ended better.

✔️An Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods and Madness

By, Kay Redfield Jamison

❤️❤️

This is a short read, but it left its mark in me. The author struggles with her mental health, but eventually accepts that it is a part of her. She starts to look at it, really address after so many years of trouble it caused her. I related a lot to her as she told her story and it was comforting in an odd way. 

 How Much did I love it? (1-3 hearts) 

❤️ = Good 

❤️ ❤️ = Great 

❤️ ❤️ ❤️ = Loved it  

🩸 = Blood/Gore/Violence (1-3 Blood Drops) 

🔥= Smut (1-3 Flames) 

Interested in buying any of these books? Use my links Bookshop: https://bookshop.org/shop/JeniBearX3 

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ThriftBooks: https://www.thriftbooks.com/share/?code=FTiPM3Y18izeoEgFmCIcfg%253d%253d 

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[erodasfishtacos]

can you write something about cheating harry and yn acting like a proper couple in front of anna, like harry with his arm around her and kissing her head and stuff, and anna is just standing there fuming and maybe tries to get physical with yn

Love Your Broken Pieces

-

warnings: cheating; mentions of trauma and domestic abuse

if you enjoy please consider donating $3 to my ko fi.

(any donations over $15 get a guaranteed blurb written of their choosing!)

reblog, like, comment, & come chat!

-

YN really really didn’t want to go out.

She wasn’t going to tell Harry that because it was a celebratory dinner for him because he’d just won Entrperur of the yearand she wasn’t going to ruin it.

It’s not that she didn’t want to celebrate his achievement.

She was so so proud of him but her therapy session had got moved up a day because the therapist had to go out of town.

YN didn’t want to bother him so she had went herself without telling him.

It was trauma-focused therapy which meant it was intensive, draining, and overall triggering at time.

Today had sparked a new memory that she had suppressed and she was really struggling to get through the day without his support.

She shouldn’t need him for everything. It wasn’t fair to him.

So she’d sat on her bed for thirty minutes before she managed to pull on a nice dress before curling her hair - zoning out and accidentally burning herself lightly.

Harry had to pick up Anna, offered to pick up YN.

“Hey pup, y’want me t’pick you up on the way?” Harry had called while she was swiping on mascara.

“No, I’ll just Uber,” YN try to keep her tone light but couldn’t stomach sitting in the car with that disgusting woman right now.

“No, let me come get you,” He insists, always preferring to drive her around over some stranger.

“I really don’t want to be in the car with Anna, okay? Just drop it,” YN replies a bit too tersely.

There’s a pregnant pause.

“What’s wrong, puppy?” Harry knows her much to well.

She couldn’t help but bristle, “Nothing. I just have to get ready. Okay? I’ll see you there.”

YN shouldn’t have hung up like that but her hands were shaking and it was taking all of her might to pull herself together to go.

“It’s all your fuckin’ fault your mum hates me,” Her dad had spat at her, right in the kitchen after dinner.

“Fuck,” She mumbles to herself as she drops her lipstick and it rolls under the dresser.

—

She canceled two Ubers before she found a driver who didn’t seem intimidating.

It made her fashionably late, everyone already seated, and it doesn’t make it any better when Anna greets her.

“About time. Can’t even make it at a respectable time for your supposed best friend’s dinner.”

Anna and Gemma both make a grimacing face at the rude comment but Harry interrupts before they interject, “S’okay, Uber’s can be a pain in the arse.”

“Er, yeah. The Uber…” YN mumbles lowly, there was an empty seat across from Harry that had been saved for her.

She could feel Harry’s eyes following her, studying her as she kept her head down and looked on the verge of tears.

“You look too much like your goddamn mother.”

“What d’you want to drink?” Harry asks softly, tapping her foot under the table.

“God Harry, she’s not a child,” Anna rolls her eyes as she glances over her menu.

Harry glares over at her with a strict warning glance that she needs to change her attitude or there is gonna be an issue.

“Just water,” YN replies, swallowing hard.

He knows somethings wrong when she doesn’t bite back at her, instead looking down at the menu like it’s the most interesting thing ever.

Harry had already known by the phone call.

There were quite a few people at the dinner, constantly engaging him in conversation as YN kept to herself.

It’s after the appetizer’s arrive that he can’t stand her fake smiles and attempts to seem like she’s enjoying herself.

“Outside, now,” Harry says firmly, not a question but a statement.

“Harry, don’t,” Anna huffs, not liking the private attention her enemy is about to get.

“I don’t remember askin’ you,” He hisses under his breath before following YN’s retreating figure to the main entrance.

They end up in the small alleyway, “Tell me what’s going on.”

YN’s eyes are moody, putting back on a nonchalant expression that would work for anyone but him, “I’m fine, I don’t know why you’re making a big deal. Let’s go enjoy your dinner.”

Harry backs her up against the brick wall, hand over her shoulder, “We’re not goin’ anywhere until you tel me. M’not stupid.”

It triggers something because she starts sniffling, whispers, “You’re going to be mad at me.”

His hard facial features relax, pressing his forehead to hers, “Please pup, y’know I love you no matter what.”

“My therapist moved our session to today. I went and uh…” YN begins to full on cry, burying her face in her hands.

“C’mon, tell me,” He encourages softly.

“It triggered a repressed memory. I…I didn’t want to ruin tonight for you. I fuck up everything for you already,” She chokes out, letting him pry her hands away.

“Puppy,” He murmurs with a laugh of disbelief, “I fuckin’ wake up everyday because of you. You make my life worth livin’. I’m not happy unless y’are.”

“I just…didn’t want tonight to go like this,” YN sighs quietly, “One night without my trauma.”

“Hey, hey. We’re workin’ through it together, yeah? It takes time. Y’made the effort to come and that means more to me than anything else,” He says truthfully, tilting her chin up.

Harry melts a bit when she leans up to give him a lightening fast peck, “I am so proud of all your accomplishments.”

“Wouldn’t have done any of it without you, sweet girl,” He rubs a thumb under her eye to wipe off a streak of makeup.

They stand outside for a minute longer in a tight hug.

-

When they walk back into the restaurant, Harry quietly asks Gemma to switch YN seats which she graciously agrees without a fuss.

Anna is shooting daggers at YN while the change happens and Harry pushes in her seat for her.

The whole dinner consists of Anna fuming and hanging on every single movement between the two despite her hand on Harry’s thigh.

When he scoops up a bit of his mashed potatoes and feeds them to YN, laughs when she makes a face at the amount of chives mixed in.

It’s like he doesn’t even noticed the casual arm he occasionally throws around the back of YN’s seat as they chat.

“Harry,” YN scolds with a small smile when he steals a shrimp from her plate when she’s not looking.

Anna had shrimp too and he didn’t look once to do that to her.

“S’good, here, have a bite of m’steak. Know Y’don’t like it rare but s’good. I promise,” He encourages, cutting her a thick piece.

How the fuck did Harry know how YN liked her steak?

He didn’t even remember Anna’s favorite color.

“Y’gettin’ sleepy?” Harry whispers to YN towards the end of the meal, his lips are nearly brushing her ear and Anna pinches his thigh hard.

“Fuck,” Harry replies, flinching away from the pain as he turns to his girlfriend, “Wha’ did you do that for?”

“Can you pay at least a little bit of attention to me? I’m your girlfriend despite how much YN wants to pretend she is,” Anna says haughtily, loud enough for her to hear.

Harry is about to snap on her but instead YN speaks up first, “I’m sorry, I didn’t know jealously was on the menu. Eat up, Anna.”

Anna begins to sneer but Harry says, “Why don’t you go take a second in the bathroom? Then we can talk, okay?”

With a little stubbornness, she does - stomping away from the table without looking back at YN who had rolled her eyes.

“Y’on my menu tonight? A bath and cuddle sounds nice,” He offers to his love, thumbing her upper thigh.

“So nice,” YN agrees, “Can we use that sugar cookie bath bomb?”

“Of course, anythin’ you want, m’pup,” Harry hums sweetly, kissing the top of her head.

Anna is walking back when she sees it.

He’s cheating on me.

It flashes through her mind but she pushes it away because she reminds herself that YN is a pathetic little clingy girl who Harry wouldn’t ever like that way.

—

Later that night, Harry holds YN as she recount her memory.

Praises her for being so strong.

Kisses her because he loves her so much it hurts most days.

Assures her that he’ll love her even if she’s never ‘fixed’.

Promises that he’ll never let anyone hurt her again.

—

I’d love feedback 🥺

taglist babies (thank you): @dioc4ne @hazgoldenstyles @harrysdimple05 @wonwooen @ficnarry @leeroysdancer @harrysloveheart @harryscherrysugar @pradastardust @rish-haz @wildcstdrexms @evanstylestan @wisetoadbonkbiscuit @meredithhuntt @tpwkvictoria @lovely-him @haymix @eiffelmezarry @pilgrim-harry @soullessbabee @afterglowstyles @tulsasjesus @elenagilbert01 @meh–mood @pretty-pop-princess-hs @msolbesg @localfalsegodstan @evanjh @i-just-like-fanfics @harrys-hs-gf @lightsupdoyouknowwhoyouare @afterglcwswift @harrystyles-tpwk @amyvandijk @godilovetheenglishx @harrys-cherrry @theprofessionalfanby @your–sweetest–downfall @la-cey @bdbtchdir @killerqueencapstan @elizabeth23567 @camflowervol6 @its-a-finee-line @rish-haz @solonelytobe @nav1234 @harrynamjoon @hopefullimaginer123 @westallenhes @awesomebooklover17 @will-be-a-fineline @vasilikir5 @your–sweetest–downfall @pretty-pop-princess-hs @harrynamjoon @harrypinks @ivyirenehoax @harryspink @sunsetcurve-h @goldenstylesh @mouthfulloftoothpastehs @hello-34583 @prettylovley @nicolecarsley @lamariettes @imavirginhoe @unknown7549 @mellamolayla @kiwitsayedsugar

#harry styles cheating #cheating!harry blurb #cheating!harry masterlist #cheating!harry

[damonalbarn]

Hey I was wondering if you knew the article that Justine spoke about suzi in?!

It was in The Guardian in 2000. Here you go:

Sweet revenge

In the mid 90s, Justine Frischmann and Damon Albarn were the First Couple of Britpop. Then he used a Blur album to rake over their break-up, while she languished in obscurity amid rumours of heroin addiction. Now she's back with a new album, and it's her turn to exorcise her demons.

Caroline Sullivan

Friday March 24, 2000

As Alison Moyet once said, it's hard to write a decent song when you're happy. Rock bands thrive on romantic turmoil in their private lives, without which they would be reduced to padding out lyrics with football scores and the weather.

Thus it was for Blur's Damon Albarn in mid-1998 when he sat down to write what would become the 13 album. His eight-year relationship with Justine Frischmann of the chart-topping Elastica, whom he once described as **"the only person who's ever been completely necessary to me" **had just ended, at her instigation. Pained and humiliated, he decided to exact revenge by exposing their most intimate details to public scrutiny.

The outcome? Embarrassment for Frischmann, a number one album for Blur and a bit of a result for Albarn.

Break-up albums are by definition both embittered and yearning - in the case of Marvin Gaye's vindictive Here, My Dear, they're just plain nasty - but 13 got more up-close and personal than could be considered gentlemanly. Albarn portrayed his former partner as neurotic, even slipping apparent drug references into the single Tender: "Tender is the ghost, the ghost I love the most/Hiding from the sun, waiting for the night to come". Frischmann was the ghost, supposedly, who was on the verge of being consumed by what one music paper euphemistically called "the darkness at the heart of Elastica".

Frischmann's response can be found on a song called The Way I Like It, which appears on Elastica's first album in five years, The Menace (out next month): "Well, I'm living all right and I'm doing okay/Had a lover who was made of sand, and the wind blew him away".

This is unlikely to be her last word on the subject. As she ambivalently begins her first round of interviews since 1996, she's finding that everyone has the same three questions. Why did Elastica nearly sabotage a promising career by taking so long to follow up their million-selling debut? Had Frischmann taken leave of her senses when she walked out on Mr Britpop? And what about the drug rumours?

"One journalist said to me, 'Dahling, I heard you were on heroin - Mahvelous!' " she says with some amusement. "Drugs are around, but I'm not that interested and never have been, although there have been elements of party animal in my band. The rumours are a lot to do with rock'n'roll mythology, where people want to believe you're having a more exciting time than you are."

The only drugs on her person today, as she perches on the edge of an armchair in her publicist's north London living room, are Marlboro Lights. Her other indulgences are two cups of herbal tea and a Cadbury's Flake cupcake, which she nibbles with well-bred pleasure. Her dark eyes are clear, and her long, tanned body is a testament to the virtues of a daily swim in a pool near her Notting Hill home. Only Elastica know whether they really succumbed to heroin and hedonism after their self-titled debut made them more famous than they'd ever expected to be, but if they did, Frischmann, 30, seems little the worse for it.

Given the current predominance of damnable boy bands, the Britpop mid-90s are beginning to seem like a halcyon period for English music. It was a time when the underground went overground, and a self-described "little punk band" like Elastica could sell 80,000 albums in a week.

More than a few loser guitar groups saw Britpop as a licence to print money, but Elastica, led with cool elan by the androgynous Frischmann, were one of its gems. The Blur connection was a marketing godsend (Frischmann and Albarn met on the London indie circuit, she as guitarist in an early line-up of Suede and girlfriend of frontman Brett Anderson, he as a cherubic baggy hopeful), yet the spiky-haired Elastica LP embodied that euphoric time like nothing else.

Frischmann, guitarist Donna Matthews, drummer Justin Welch and bassist Annie Holland were unprepared for the album soaring to number one in its first week. When they signed their record deal, Frischmann, whose great-grandfather was a conductor of the Tsar's orchestra at the Summer Palace in Byelorussia, was five years into an architecture degree at London University. A liberal north London Jewish upbringing - her engineer father built the Oxford Street landmark Centrepoint - had instilled expectations of success, but the reality of being photographed in the supermarket and having her rubbish stolen was a shock. Fiercely independent, she also resented her unsought role as half of Britpop's First Couple.

There was more. Two of Frischmann's musical heroes, The Stranglers and Wire, decided that two Elastica songs were suspiciously similar to two of their own tracks, and won royalties. Meanwhile, there were malicious rumours that Albarn had done much of the work on the record. He hadn't, but he did find Justine's success in America, where she was substantially out-selling Blur, hard to endure.

"It was very hard for him to deal with and he's very confrontational," she says, with the flattering openness of someone who prefers interviews to be more like conversations. She admits she often says too much, but in an era of image control and spin, her honesty makes her a one-off. Not that she's likely to land herself in it too badly - she possesses the intellectual ammunition to look after herself, which must have been instrumental in attracting two of rock's more articulate stars, Albarn and Anderson.

She's been accused of being a professional rock girlfriend, though it was probably they who were lucky to get her. She spent the cab ride over reading the Sylvia Plath letters in Monday's Guardian, and muses on the irony of the poet's subjugating herself to Ted Hughes when she was the more gifted. (Her new boyfriend, by the way, is an unknown photographer, "though that'll probably change, because men seem to get famous when I go out with them".)

"I reacted the way a lot of women do, by being passive," she continues. "He put a lot of pressure on me to give up Elastica. He said, 'You don't want to be in a band, you want to settle down and have kids.' " In so many words? "In so many words. He kept putting on pressure till I started to believe him." She adds bemusedly: "I've met his new girlfriend, and one of the first things she said was that he wanted her to give up travelling with her work to stay home with the baby [Missy, born last autumn]. I'm surprised he's got away with being thought of as a nice person for so long."

After 18 months, during which they did seven American and three Japanese tours, Elastica came off the road to record company demands for an immediate second album. Annie Holland's response was to quit the group, while Donna Matthews became renowned for hard partying on the nocturnal west London scene. They lethargically recorded some demos, but their heart wasn't in it. By 1997, when a second album should have been ready to go, Frischmann and Matthews were barely speaking, and there was nothing useable down on tape.

Holland's replacement, Sheila Chipperfield (of the circus Chipperfields), was deemed not good enough and left by mutual consent. By 1998, their continued lack of productivity was being likened to the Stone Roses' lengthy and ultimately self-destructive holiday between their first and second LPs.

"I didn't think Elastica were going to continue at that point, and we did kinda split up," she says, absently stroking her publicist's cat. Frischmann is a cat person; she's owned a tabby called Benjamin since she was 10. "Unconditional love," she coos. The pet's place in her life is so assured that prospective boyfriends are subjected to his feline scrutiny before she'll go out with them.

On top of everything else, in early 1998 her relationship with Albarn was in trouble. Frischmann retains enough of the indie ethic to detest the phenomenon of celebrity couples, and was dismayed when they became one. "I really hated the tabloid interest, and I went out of my way not to be photographed with him. Only about three pictures of us together exist, I think. In many ways, I think the media interest broke us up, because it made me feel the relationship was quite ugly, and I had to get away from it. There were other factors, too, obviously, because we were together for eight years, and I finally felt it was better the devil you didn't know, really."

Albarn's ego seems to have been severely undermined by having a girlfriend who was nearly as successful as he was, and something of a sex symbol to boot. Despite adopting a resolutely boyish T-shirt-and-jeans uniform, she's thoroughly feminine, a mix that got her voted fifth most fanciable woman in a lesbian magazine.

"I'm completely heterosexual, so I didn't know how to take that. It scares the shit out of me, the idea of being with a girl. I'm glad I've narrowed it down to half the people in the world."

She seems to view Albarn with indulgent exasperation these days, simultaneously praising his intelligence ("The Gallaghers just couldn't compete") and ticking off his flaws. "Damon adores being in the press, and sees all press as good press. He orchestrated that rivalry thing with Oasis. He really wanted kids, and I didn't feel our relationship was stable enough. He was a naughty boy, and he wasn't the right person to have kids with. I had this cathartic moment..."

At which point they split up. Albarn wrote 13 and then met Suzi Winstanley, an artist. "She was pregnant within three months," Justine observes wickedly.

Of the acclaimed 13, she's tactful, describing several songs as "really lovely". She studies her cigarette for a while before adding, "but I'm cynical about selling a record on the back of our relationship". But you're doing the same now. "It's true, but at the time I had no right of reply."

Elastica finally pulled themselves together last year, just as the music industry was about to write them off (their American label had already "very kindly let us go", as she puts it). Holland rejoined, Matthews went to Wales to sort out her life and the band banged out an EP and played the Reading Festival. Things came together quickly after that. They spent the last £10,000 of the recording budget on re-recording a dozen tracks, finishing the album, after years of procrastinating, in six weeks. They've called it The Menace "because that's what it was like to make".

It's dark and resolutely uncommercial - all wrong for 2000's pop-oriented climate. It's unlikely to match the success of the first one, which is fine with them. Call it (though Justine doesn't) their White Album. Its 70s punk aesthetic brings to mind angry girls such as the Slits and the Au Pairs, although the defining mood isn't anger so much as catharsis. None of the songs is specifically about Albarn, she claims. "The dark feeling is due to the sense of isolation, tasting success and getting frightened by it. I was questioning whether I wanted to be in a band any more, and there was no one I could ask for advice. Getting success and everything you ever dreamed about is hard to handle, and makes you question everything."

She's better prepared for success, if it comes again, this time. Already the privacy-preserving barriers are in place. The next interview of the day is with Time Out magazine, which wants a list of her favourite restaurants. "I'm not telling them where I eat," she says reflexively. "I'm gonna lie."

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