#but the birthing center is a little over an hour away

[harmonizewithechoes]

.

#this might be stupid and I’m definitely overthinking it #but this baby will be here any day now #and I’m excited for that to happen! #but the birthing center is a little over an hour away #and realistically once we get the kids where they need to go and get on our way #we’re looking at 1 1/2 - 2 hours from the point where I know without a shadow of a doubt that this baby is coming #and us getting to my midwife #the last few days I’ve been in prodromal labor and it’s SO ANNOYING! #because I’ll be tracking timing and intensity for HOURS and then everything stalls out 😑 #but I can’t let it lure me into a false sense of security because both my other labors were very fast once my water broke #like super fast- 9 hours for my first baby and 3 hours for the second one #there’s a very real chance that if my water breaks before we’re on the road I will have to deliver in the backseat myself #and in that case…. wtf do you do???? #I know you don’t cut the umbilical cord yourself and I’m assuming we would be going to an emergency room instead of the birth center #because that’s a risky situation #but would we just pull over and wait for an ambulance?? it’s been 20 degrees or less all week #do we keep driving and is that safe to do while holding a newborn?? is anything about this situation safe?? #I’d probably have a very fun conversation with emergency services and they’d help #and I know it’s unlikely but it’s not impossible! so my brain has to know how we would handle things #in any case there are extra towels and blankets waiting to be taken to the car at a moment’s notice- just in case 😅

[griffin-girl-r]

You're not mine (Part 1)

Created: 08.10.2023

Finished: 08.10.2023

Edited: 08.10.2023

Age: 15

Word count: 1,344

Warnings: Abandonment, Child neglecting, Self harm, Blood, Blade, Arguments, Screaming, Child favoritism

Note: Please proceed with caution if you're triggered by any of the warnings above.

Request: Yes (Wattpad user) (@herospark18)

Pairing: WinterWidow

Summary: Natasha adopted you from the Red Room when you were only a baby, but when she and Bucky had their own child, she started forgetting about you.

Part 2

—

"I hate you!" You shouted, slamming the door behind you

"Y/N, we're not done!" Natasha, your mother, shouted from downstairs "Get back here!"

This was a daily occurrence by now.

The, once nonexistent, daily arguments between you and Natasha only got worse over the years.

Although Natasha isn't your biological mother, she raised you like her own after she saved you from the Red Room.

You were only 2 months old when she adopted you and everything went well. You both formed a happy little family for a while.

That was until Natasha started dating Bucky a little after your 10th birthday and she slowly started spending less and less time with you.

But not Bucky was the factor that determined your mother-daughter relationship with Natasha to drift apart.

The main reason behind everything was your 5-year-old baby sister, Tanya, who came into the world a few months after Natasha and Bucky started dating, with a little bit of help from Tony and his technology that, nowadays, seems to defy all odds.

Tanya's arrival only strengthened the bond between her parents, who had a romantic history that started years before even you were born, and, at the same time, weakened the bond between you and Natasha.

You knew the drill by now.

'Tanya is perfect.'

'Tanya is ours.'

'Tanya is innocent.'

Their voices echoed in your brain like a broken record.

Tanya knows that she can get away with everything and Tanya does get away with everything.

Since her birth, it was as if Natasha had completely forgotten about your existence.

It began by ignoring you while she focused her attention solely on Tanya.

She wouldn't feed you anymore, wake you up for school, or cuddle you at night.

She didn't even notice that you changed.

But, how could she, when Tanya was everything she noticed?

—

You stared at yourself in the mirror.

Determination was etched on your pale face as you picked up the blade that was on your sink.

It became a relief for you.

Sliding that blade on your wrist helped you forget about the unbearable pain in your chest.

The crimson blood that was pooling from the cuts held your attention. The pain of being abandoned by two different mothers was momentarily shoved at the back of your mind.

You started harming yourself 2 years ago when you couldn't take Natasha's ignorance any more.

You haven't told anyone and it's not like they would care if they knew anyways. Tanya was the center of their world, not you.

She was the perfect baby, while you were the adopted bastard and a grand mistake that Natasha made.

Natasha never admitted it out loud but you understood the message from the way she was treating you.

The blade fell down from your hand into the sink.

'Is it all because she never gave birth to me?'

And you stared at the trail of blood it left on the white sink.

'Are adopted kids not important, just because they're not blood related?'

You slowly understood.

'Will I ever be treated the same as Tanya?'

The only one left to understand was Natasha.

—

"Y/N, do you want to play with my dolls later?" Tanya asked you a few hours later, during dinner

You pulled at the sleeves of your hoodie even more, hiding your hands inside of them.

"Sure, Tatu." You gave the small child a shy smile "I think I'd like that."

"Tatiana." Natasha sternly looked at Tanya but the tone of her voice was soft "Remember we have a movie night tonight. You can play with Y/N another time."

"Can Y/N come too?" Tanya's big, innocent eyes sparkled while she asked, as Natasha refilled the girl's glass of orange juice

"I think she has more important things to do." Natasha replied, not even bothering to ask what you want "We're going to have a mother-daughter night. It's going to be just us two, sweetheart. Wouldn't it be fun?"

"Yay!" Tanya cheered, throwing her arms in the air

But as she did, she accidentally knocked over the glass filled with juice.

"Oh oh..." Tanya said, looking at the spilled juice "Sorry, Mama."

"Don't worry, baby girl." Natasha smiled, sitting up to clean the mess "Accidents happen."

"That's not what you said the last time when I accidentally knocked over my glass of water." You bitterly spat out at Natasha

"You have no right to talk, Y/N." Natasha snapped at you "Shut up!"

"Natalia, honey, calm down." Bucky, who was sitting beside Natasha, put his hand on her arm "She didn't do anything wrong. She's just a kid."

"She's not a kid, James." Natasha shouted, turning her head in Bucky's direction "She's a grown-up teenager now."

"Talia, I think you are just overreacting right now." Bucky kept trying to calm his wife, sparing a glance in your direction

He looked down at your plate that was untouched, the effect of your lack of appetite obvious on your skinny and fragile frame.

"I think I'm full." You quickly sat up from the table

"Sit back down, right in this instance, Y/N." Natasha shouted at you "You don't disrespect your mother like that and get away with it."

"Well, lately, you didn't act like a mother at all." You shouted back at Natasha, pain evident in your voice, but Natasha was oblivious to it "All you care about is Tanya."

"Because she's my child!" Natasha screamed offended "It's only normal to care for her."

"I used to be your child as well!" You shouted, tears forming in your eyes "I still am your child."

"You're not mine!" Natasha shouted and you widened your eyes shocked "You're not anything to me! You aren't my child because you don't have my blood. I didn't carry you or feel you grow day by day inside of me. But with Tanya, I did. You are just a mistake, Y/N!"

"You are the mistake here, Mom!" You cried, slightly lifting your sleeves as Bucky's eyebrows shot in his hairline "Look!" You showed your scarred wrists to the woman "This is all because of you! Why can't you love me like any mother should do? Blood shouldn't be important! You raised me, Natasha."

Bucky reached his metal arm slowly towards your extended arms to inspect your wrists but he was pushed aside by Natasha, who blocked out the fact that you were hurting because of her and ignored the truth, her intrusive thoughts winning as she said something she would never be able to take back.

"You were never truly a part of this family, Y/N!" Natasha shouted "Get that in your head. You are not our blood and you will never be. I saved you because I thought that you would change but I see that you didn't. You are the same. But I did change. I am not the same Natasha that I was in the Red Room. I am better."

Shaking your head, you took a few steps backward.

"I can't believe you." You whispered in disbelief

"Y/N..." Bucky breathed out, sitting up from his chair "Don't listen to your mother, she's just tired. She didn't mean what she said."

"She knew damn well what she was saying." You kept shaking your head, a lone tear falling down your cheek

"Then get that in your head once and for all." Natasha shouted once more, stubbornly fixated on her wrong belief that she was right

"I hate you!" You shouted at Natasha "I wish you never rescued me from the Red Room!"

And with that, you stormed out of the house and ran into the veil of darkness provided by the night.

Bucky tried to run after you but it was too late.

He found no sight of you or any clue where you might have run away to.

—

Bucky walked inside the house and looked at Natasha who was still oblivious to the damage she had done and muttered one question.

"What have you done?!"

—

Permanent taglist: @lizlil , @lovelyy-moonlight , @theunchosenonee , @ravensinthedaylight , @justarandomreaderxoxo , @youralphawolf72 , @mmmmokdok , @natashasnoodle , @observeowl , @circe143 , @kassies-take , @taliiiaasteria , @sheneonromanoff , @darkstar225

#mama nat #natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x daughter!reader #natasha x daughter!reader #natasha's child #natasha's kid #natasha romanoff x teen!reader #natasha x teen reader #natasha x baby!reader #winterwidow #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x daughter!reader

[ataraxiaspainting]

Hi, thanks for sending te rules ^^. For the request, can I please have yan mermaid Ruan Mei x fem human reader one shot? Basically, Ruan Mei meets a human and she find them interesting, but later discovers that the reader is dating. So Ruan Mei decides why not to kidnap her future darling.

please ruan mei is so pretty...... I CAN FIX HER GUYS!!

Birth of Venus.

Yan (Mermaid) Ruan Mei x F Reader.

Synopsis: Legends say the ocean’s waters are salty because of the tears of mermaids.

Warnings: Yandere themes and kidnapping.

Word Count: 700.

*~*~*~*

Upon catching sight of you for the first time, she finds herself at a loss for thoughts and emotions.

For her to lose sight of the former is as rare as her finding something not covered in rust and fading away with age on the bottom of the ocean floor. But, like those priceless moments, with her fingers gliding above and beneath a small mountain of gold coins in a treasure chest she spent more than a day trying to unlock, she could not bear herself to let go, to let something so precious go to waste. Time is of the essence though, because as much as she wants to simply take you beneath the waters with her hands, the scales on them never scarred with the color purer than that of the sky above you both, she has to wait for the right time, for everything to be set up accordingly. It is what she does best, after all, planning and soon discarding everything that provides little value to her, and perhaps soon to you, because, in the end, it is not uncommon for her to lose her emotions. They hold no significance at present or in the future, and she will release them once more in her quest for everything she desires. Thus, she patiently waits, concealed beneath the water, listening to the gentle sound of your footsteps on the sand and the joyful exclamations that escape your lips whenever you discover another seashell she intentionally left on the shoreline for you.

Everything and everyone she encounters, regardless of whether they are from the sea or the land above, bow down to her and her radiance, even creatures similar to her both in physique and intellectual prowess. She hopes the same will be what you do too, but she does not. Despite how ironic it sounds, you are the breath of fresh air she never had. She desires for you to remain unchanged, even if she resorts to preserving you as ice submerged deep beneath the ocean, thus ensuring your eternal presence. Nevertheless, she sincerely hopes this extreme measure will never be necessary.

She will try her best to ensure such.

Despite her emotions being minuscule, barely the size of a single caviar bead, she finds herself unable to articulate this indescribable sensation that threatens to overwhelm all logic she has.

Because when she caught sight of you for what felt like the hundredth time, she saw you kiss someone else by the shoreline, next to the special shell she obtained after hours upon hours of searching just for you.

For what felt like the first time in all her life, she felt sorrow, then anger, and hate. Her emotions finally gave way after all these months of observing you from afar, and tears gave way. But she doesn't know what to do now. All planning, what she has always been good at, along with her logic, which she also has been exemplary at, has all been washed away by the tides of fear, envy, and sadness. After what felt like an eternity of weeping over her loss, making the seawater get even saltier because of her tears, she concluded. She must act now, or you will be forever out of her grasp. She needs to take immediate action to regain her rationality and control her emotions once more. Despite her love for you, Ruan Mei will always be self-centered, and this fundamental aspect of her character is unlikely to change, even if she desires it. It is simply a matter of time until everything reverts to its previous state.

So, as you venture near the coast, captivated by the enchanting melodies emerging from the sea, she springs into action. With astonishing speed, so swift that you won't perceive it until it's too late, she delivers a powerful blow and drags you under the waters, where you will stay forevermore.

#aya abstractions #yandere #yandere x reader #yandere hsr #yandere honkai star rail #yandere hsr x reader #yandere ruan mei #yandere ruan mei x reader #ruan mei x reader #yandere honkai star rail x reader #yandere mermaid #yandere mermaid x reader #mermaid x reader #100 followers event

[birthing1020]

🫃2️⃣🩺💦

Tags; male, twins, birthing center, orgasmic birth.

The day you were due, you showed up at the birthing center. Your hung over and swollen belly had finally dropped and contractions were a few hours apart — you’d rather be safe than sorry and giving birth in your home instead.

You sighed and waddled down to the suite they had assigned you, your shirt above your enormous and stretched out belly. You gave it a slow rub as you set your bags on the couch and shut the door. Tossing your shirt off, you squeezed your milky and swollen tits trying to make yourself comfortable in this unfamiliar situation.

You looked around and saw a birthing pool, a huge hospital bed and a birthing ball. “Hmmm.” You grabbed the ball and stripped out of your remaining clothes, sitting on the object. Your now plushy ass rubbing on the material as you rotate your hips. You let out a soft moan as the movement alleviated some of the pain these contractions were making you feel. Your big hairy belly in full view as it separated your legs, your twins kicking around and making themselves fairly known.

All of a sudden the door opens and quickly shuts as a male was in the room, you try to cover yourself up — but you figured they have seen births before so this wasn’t unusual.

“Good job baby boy, I’m your midwife”. Just those words made you blush, you continued to rock your hips with this unfamiliar man’s encouragement. A contraction tightens your belly and you moan out. “I’m going to help you give birth….nice and slow.” The man was in uniform after all — so this could be rather interesting.

The man approached you, kneeling beside you as he pants and encourages breathing techniques, you’re trying to keep your composure but this man was turning you on — so much, you were already dripping with excitement. You moaned out as another contraction rippled through your body, panting harder and longer than before. The pressure building between the horniness of this mysterious man and your twins racing to get out of your cunt.

All of a sudden he cups your cunt and you can’t help but grunt, from the dominance of this situation and the first crowning baby in your hole. “Nice and slow…let’s break your water, I want you to feel it all.” His tone low and husky, if you weren’t crowning you’d be bending over and getting railed from this guy. You part your legs further and you moan loudly, pushing your ever so slowly bulging cunt into his hand.

You palm his hand with your cunt, panting as the babies shift into place and your pussy is now expanding and widening. You squeeze your eyes shut and pant harshly, one of his fingers slip inside you and rub your aching clit, just drenching his fingers. “Oh—oh! Oh!” You chant and let out a scream, you rock your hips but that does nothing but palm his hand faster. “Oh my god! Oh my god!” You screech and water comes gushing out of your cunt.

“Good boy — c’mon honey, push her out, use this strength. Make your achy little cunt stretch out for me”. And just like that, you orgasm all over his fingers and push the hardest push you have done, this orgasm rippling around you as you push your first baby out.

You pant harshly, trying to contain yourself with what just happened. The midwife cuts the cord and wraps the little girl up, setting her peacefully in a bassinet. “Get on the bed and face away from me, kneel on all fours.”

You nod and oblige, kneeling on the bed as another contraction hits. You moan and put your ass in the air, everything in full view of this man. Your legs part because of your huge belly, your milking tits pushed into the sheets and you’re groaning with desire. He sits on the edge of the bed and reaches up, toying with the newly crowned head that has made its presence known.

“Feel this, baby boy? Feel this head expanding your cunt? I want you to feel everything ~ and I want you to cum again for me, before I let you birth.” He cups your sensitive and bulging pussy, pushing the head back in and allowing it to drop out ever so slightly before easing it back into place, ruining the work your birthing body is naturally doing.

You put your head into the pillow and whimper with frustration, your pussy bulging bigger than ever with this baby as you whine out. You squat down more, pushing your pussy into his hand and you rub against it, slowly but surely beginning to get yourself off. You pant and moan louder, the closer you are to the edge. He shoves the head back inside you again and you scream out in pleasure, orgasming all over his hand before beginning to push.

“That’s a good boy, keep going. Keep going. Push for me!” His encouraging words keep you going, one leg now dangling off the bed and you push hard, the head now fully crowning and expanding your cunt. You stop to breathe for a second, the head now out and poking out of your more than sensitive cunt. “One more push baby boy.” He stands up and rubs your hairy belly with one hand, cupping the head with the other.

He ever so slowly pulls the baby out as you push. One. Two. Three pushes and the body flops out and into his arm, he cuts the cord and places the second girl into a new bassinet before leaving the room.

#preggophilia #labor kink #birth kink #preggo kink #giving birth #maieusiophilia #rapid pregnancy #birth meme #orgasmic birth

[twilightspinkyfinger]

Topics of Research (chain x reader)

This work is a part of my Hyrule Historian AU, for more information, check out my masterlist.

As a historian, you were well versed in what remained of Hyrule's history after the calamity scourged the land prior to your birth. You had studied almost every text and document you could get your hands on searching diligently for the answers to a question you never voiced aloud. You even asked the locals of different areas of Hyrule hoping on the off chance somehow someone somewhere still has some tribal knowledge left on the subject of your interest. However, no matter how hard you searched, you still had very little luck.

After the calamity, you scoured through the entirety of the library in Hyrule castle searching for something, anything that could lead you to even the faintest of clues regarding your search. But you found nothing, at least nothing you didn't already know. You pondered how something could manage to be completely wiped from history. It made you sad, you seemed like the only person in all of Hyrule who had even the faintest clue that this being even existed in the first place.

Wild had tried to help you, making sure you took breaks from the stacks of books covering your desk, he knew whatever you were looking for was important to you, even though he had no idea what that thing was. He tried asking you about it once, but you shrugged him off, claiming that he wouldn't understand even if you told him. You claimed that no one knew what you were looking for, but you remembered and that should have been enough right? But it wasn't your brain craved more.

Then you found yourself with the chain, ripped away from your research, but with a new opportunity in front of you. It was possible that you could find new information about your research topic in the past eras you were traveling through.

And you certainly did find new information almost right away. The markings on the Hero of Time were dangerously close to those you had sketched in your notebook a million times over. There was no denying it these were the same markings that not only haunted your research, but also your dreams.

You wanted to ask him about it but decided not to since he was a stranger and it would be extremely suspicious if you started to interrogate him. You hoped he would volunteer information regarding the markings and what they were connected to on his own volition. Time was not the open book you had hoped he would be, however, he did mention in passing that he had fought the moon, which you hypothesized was somehow related to your topic of research, but you had no proof.

Still, you searched through libraries when you had the luxury of staying in a town with one for more than a couple of hours. Jotting down any seemingly relevant information in your notebook. Despite all your hard work, there were still no hard leads in your investigation.

Eventually, the chain ended up in your and Wild's Hyrule plopped in the middle of Hateno beach. You decided to split the party so half of the group stayed with Wild in his house and the rest of the group would stay with you in your house at the base of the orchard under the Ancient Tech Lab.

Of course, before this could be accomplished, you needed to check in with Purah, who immediately scolded you and Wild for disappearing without a trace. She was extremely interested in the portals and asked you to gather any information you could about how they formed. You agreed and before you knew it you were travelling back down the hill towards Hateno.

It was decided that Time, Twilight, Warriors, and Wind would stay with you in your home. You led the boys through the entrance to your cottage apologizing for the accumulation of dust in your absence. The downstairs of your house was extremely simple, with a kitchen area, a couch with a sitting area centered around the fireplace, and a small storage area underneath the stairs.

You led the group up the stairs to your study/library area as well as your bedroom. It was decided that Twilight would share your bed with you, while the rest camped out on the floor of your study. You almost missed the way that Time's eyes glanced at the detailed drawings of a being long forgotten plastered on the wall. His eyes opened in surprise before he attempted to mask his shock and proceeded to yell at Wind for messing with your books.

In all honestly, you had forgotten how many of them there were, it made you feel a little insane and embarrassed at your obsession. But you couldn't help it, you needed to know more, you needed to know who and what this being was. You needed to know why it chose to save you.

The Yiga clan, fierce agents of chaos dedicated to the cause of Calamity Ganon. While in passing these individuals seemed more like fools than foes, they were definitely not to be taken lightly. They were foul condemnable bastards, who would stop at nothing to praise what they held dear, even if that meant the murder of an extremely small child.

Broken glass and blood littered the floor, and bodies of fallen footsoldiers lay at its feet. A double helix sword caked in the same red blood as the blademaster's chest it was just pulled from. Bright white eyes checked the area for any missing enemies before moving to pick up the crying child behind it. It shushed you murmuring words you would never forget, "It's okay little one, you are safe now, I'll protect you"

Footsteps could be heard outside, the rush of Sheikah soldiers too late to quell the scourge of the Yiga clan from the property. And just like that it was gone. The Sheikah soldiers entered the house taking in the sight of a baby not even the age of one alone on the table surrounded by tens of dead Yiga soldiers, the room reaking of death.

The captain, who had caught a glimpse of your savior through the window, searched the room diligently for missing the diety but came up empty-handed. This very same captain would take you under his very own roof and care for you as one of his own. He would even pass on his own drawings of the being he had seen through the window that day.

#mowrites #the hyrule historian #linked universe #linkeduniverse au #lu x reader #link x reader #lu wild #lu twilight #lu time #lu wind #lu warriors #linked universe x reader #fierce deity #sorry this update is more focused on back story for the historian rather than content with the boys #I would like to make a part two but I don't know if yall would want it #it would probably include more of time's reaction and maybe even a convo with reader #also thinking about making a post about twilight and reader sharing a bed #well see

[noritoshiikamo]

reassurance [kamisato ayato x reader]

a part of manipulative!ayato series

cw reader is going through insecurity phase, post partum depression post pregnancy, brief mention of needle against skin, penetrative sex, lactation, female receiving, male receiving, spanking, spitting, light body worshipping, reader and ayato both tried to manipulate and rile each other up (failed successfully)

a/n yes this is the last part yes i tried to make ayato a little sweeter but i failed lol yes its not that long i want to retire /j hdjdjsjsj no more longer fics ill probably go for shorter now feel free to hmu would love to hear any ideas we can discuss on side *wink wink*

taglist— @cheolinn @duskamethyst @crashed-wing @cl-0-vr @shadowarchon @tezzy-lovez @ninefuckingoneone @rifran @somemydayy @ryumishou @kokoirne

you’ve changed.

it was just something you had noticed even without staring at the large mirror in the washroom. you felt different. you had never felt like this, you are not the type to get hung over of changes because you adapt a lot. your entire life consist of running away and adapt so you won’t appear to be interesting. hiding behind the title of shrine maiden worked. you blend into the crowd, stay out of trouble by keeping your words and works true and get paid. but shrine maiden was your old life. it wasn’t your shield anymore.

being lady of the commissioner felt like someone had stripped you naked and put you on display.

you carried his name, his family legacy, his child- you centered your existence around him. you felt insecure. your tilted your head, staring at your bare body in front of the foggy mirror. for the first time in your life, you were afraid of your reflection. your shaky fingers ran along the healed scar over your stomach. everyone said you were a strong mother- a warrior. giving birth to a healthy baby girl was like seeing a someone broke a vase and left it for you to clean. you had to pick yourself up and get your shit together. you didn’t understand the cheering as the loud cry of the baby echoed the estate. you felt tired, disgusting but he didn’t left you. you swore you had broken his bones with your grip, with your own cry. when the baby cried, they cheered but when you cried earlier, they told you to man it up and push. and when you failed, you feared the look the healers threw you.

while others tend for the baby, you spend a quiet seconds consoled by him as the needle sew your torn pieces together. you won’t lie that his word went in one ear and out of the other until he told you he loved you.

“w-what?” you asked, as he peppered your skin with kisses.

“i love you and thank you for going through this.”

you couldn’t believe your own mind. listening to the words escaping the commissioner’s mouth. a soft scoff escaped your lips. you felt appreciated despite all the ironic outcome. but it disappeared once the baby reached his arms. unexpectedly, he held the baby silently, tears brimming his eyes and to your own surprise, you did too. you made that with him. even out of a marriage that started out of seed of spite, you made something grew out of love.

but you still lost yourself.

between taking care of a small growing child, the needy father and his family, you felt naked again. the warm bubble burst when you kept being left alone, fending the quiet night holding a child threatening to burst into piercing cries the moment you set her down. you were exhausted. you couldn’t count the night falling asleep on the floor beside the baby crib, alone and waking up on the bed, alone. you rather go through another 20 hours of labour than admit that you miss him. but silence was louder than words anyway, he knew what you think. his love language evolved as you grew. for the time he couldn’t be with you, he made up as best as his could, his way.

it started small. a glass of water on the nightstand to greet you in the morning. warm bath just enough for you ready to step in the morning. baby changed, showered and dressed and ready for you to breastfeed. until your duty was no longer to serve the clan but to devote your entire time for the child’s growth. but how long could it last until you’re an empty shell of your previous life.

the time you wished you could bother him just to drop off a cup of tea became a hassle as the housekeeper ushered you back to your room as the child screamed for attention. you barely had dinner together. you lost the time you had with him to his own child. and now people won’t stop talking.

they’ve changed.

you winced at the words. you know it even without people pointing out. you did change. you cut your hair in a more manageable way, easier for you to manage and away from your curious child’s grip. you put on a little weight as your fingers gripped the excess skin. you looked tired, eye bags accentuated and longed the feeing of the heavy blade in your hand while you stared into his eyes determined to beat him up to his own game. you tried to shake the insecure thoughts out of your mind, startled by the opening and shut of the door. you sat in silence, waiting for a loud cry and such or the pestering yell from the housekeeper for leaving your child alone too long. your breasts ached. maybe the child is hungry, you thought to yourself as you felt the nectar threatening to leak off your bud. the silence was deafening. you hated it. your feet pitter pattered on the floor and before you could slide the door opened, you were greeted by a figure.

“the baby-” you instinctively muttered.

“what baby?” ayato asked back.

you rolled your eyes and pushed your way out and rushed to the crib. your spine chilled. your lips moved but words choked in your throat as you stared at the empty crib. you turned and ran against a cold hard wall, into his chest. he chuckled. “breath, i asked the housekeeper to take her for the night. she’s still sleeping,” your husband reassured, soft hushes while carefully brushing away the stray hair off your face. your shoulder hunched in relief as you lost your balance, his arms quick to hold your weight up. you muttered something out of relief, thanking the archon or some sort as he rocked you against his chest. “my lady,” he chuckled, “since when you are a believer?”

“shut up, ayato.”

he tilted his head that was inching closer and closer to yours, “make me.”

something ignited in you when your lips touched. your mind scrambled to think of the moment that matched and it brought you to the night he took you to the firework festival. it was from far, your growing body inching closer to your due date weren’t meant for long travel so you settled by the ledge of the estate. you remembered the moment so fondly because you didn’t remember the fireworks going on the back but the feeling of his lips pressed against you in the quiet, empty estate. you didn’t dare to look him in the eyes, buried your face in the crook of his neck. “i thought you were busy.”

“you need me. no one is important right now.”

the words echoed in your head. your fingers grabbed the corner of his shirt as he shrugged the jacket off his shoulder. the armory clanked on the floor. “should i ask why is my wife running out of the bathroom bare naked or should i wait for a bit?” he whispered naughtily into your ears. your face warmed up as you suddenly felt so aware of his arms wrapping around your bare waist. “shut up,” you whispered below your breath, but loud enough for him to catch. you stayed in each other arms, something you hadn’t done in a while. you counted the rate of his heartbeat with the palm pressed against his chest. “you’ll catch a cold. i don’t want you to be sick,” he tried again, fingers bare rubbing circles on your back.

“make me warm then.”

his chuckles echoes in your ears. being bold isn’t something he was surprised anymore, but it felt good in his heart to know that he was still needed. you knew, you could feel his heart skipped a beat. “well, i could never say no now that you are served on a pretty silver plate.” he kissed you again, slowly backing away. your feet followed as he led you to your bed. his kiss never broke off, ayato was getting good at this. the undressing was quick. even after months of no intimacy, it was like your brain had been doing this for days. the undoing of his vest and belt and pants came so naturally to you. it felt good when his bare chest rested against your mounds, his toned arm wrapped around your waist with his hand gently holding your neck as he lowered you down on the soft bed.

kamisato ayato had learned how to be soft.

because coming to someone so hard-headed like you with such a hard approach was like fighting fire with fire, immune. to tame a beast takes time and effort, taming you was his biggest achievement. lips mould to his own, the sound you made when he touched you was like a reward worth waiting for. he deserved this and you deserve it. “you know how insane it was,” he panted against your lips, eyes wild as he took his time to take your face in, “i spend months, day and night waiting to touch and kiss you again. i’m selfish. i want this child but i don’t want to share you.”

you smiled, hands cupping his cheeks, “you talk too much.”

“too much?”

you nodded as your hands moved to his shoulder, gently pushing him further down, “way too much.” he took your invitation, venturing down south; not without getting a quick taste of your hard buds. your face warmed up, mouth quick to mutter an apology. but he didn’t stop, even with a slight drip of the pale milk on the corner of his lips he continued his assault on your tits. he found it sweet, like you. the more his tongue swirled around the bud, the more you felt wetter. both on your mound and your core.

your moan echoed the room, as his hips pressed harder against your core. you felt impatient and he could sense it as his lips planted kisses down your belly to the small mound. he was like a child in candy store, eyes glistening in excitement. “c’mere,” he whispered, pulling you closer to the edge as he knelt on the floor. he didn’t take his time, fingers spreading your slit apart, tongue straight on your clit. your body jolted in pleasure, held down by his arms around your thighs. it moved in a random pattern then to a circle; his pointed tongue pressed against your swelling clit as your moans echoed the room.

“i forgot how fucking good you taste, my wife,” he slurred, haze in lust as his thumb replaced his tongue and it went lower. your back arched in pleasure, fingers fisting the sheet underneath. you could feel his tongue, swirling around your throbbing hole, teasing with a little jab in and out slurping loudly as the sweet fluid that kept on gushing out. you stuttered his name, room echoed only with his sloppy noise and your choked up moans. you felt dizzy; spit dribbling down the edge of your lips with your eyes rolled up. he was tongue fucking your cunt with his thumb pressing hard but pleasureful circles on your clit.

you opened your mouth, not a moan but a question.

his tongue stopped. his hair was a mess as he looked up. reality hit you like a brick as you propped yourself up on your elbows, brain raking for an explanation. stringy saliva mess connected his lips and chin to your aching cunt. you looked down on him, unsure if your words had ruined the moment.

would you still love me if i’ve changed too much?

you swallowed the lump in the back of your throat, the hot sweaty moments put past as you suddenly felt that heaviness weighing on your chest. he rested his cheek against your calf, breath tickling as he planted a kiss on your skin, “now why would my love ever think of such odd question?” ayato wondered, fingers lightly brushing against your inner thighs, “is that what has been bothering you?” he planted more kiss. “you think a little skin here and there, your hair or the fact that our child is latched to your breasts more than i’ve ever did is going to change the amount of love i had for you?” his brows jolted as his hands hooked underneath your legs pushing you backward on the bed. you gasped, as he pinned your legs downward, carefully not to hurt your body. his eyes curled into a smile so soft but his lips reflected otherwise. his breath hovered over your aching cunt again. your eyes met briefly.

“it would never.”

you threw your head backward, spine slowly arched as his hoarse tongue ran a long swipe along your folds up to your clit. it was getting harder to control the noise you were making, thighs begging to close on his head, unable to take the constant assault of his tongue pushing you closer and closer to edge but he kept it apart. you will not deny him of this pleasure. the tensed knot in your belly snapped in a second as you gnawed down your fist, muffling your scream from breaking the silence of the night. this is what you’ve been missing. the thigh trembling, cunt numbing from waves of pleasure that he won’t stop assaulting until he got every single drop of your sweet, sweet mess on his tongue. whatever ayato wants, he will get it.

still high from your orgasm, you could feel his lips peppering your sweaty skin with his kisses, mouthing along of how a good wife you were, sending more chills down your spine. his words were drowsy, sending your head spinning. it felt like an out of body experience, watching as he covered every inch of your skin with his kisses. “ayato, lay down,” you muttered, holding him by the chest. his brows shot up in confusion, cock already aligned against your cunt. “why?” he asked nervously.

“that’s not a request, it’s an order,” you muttered, a half of smile plastered on your face.

shrugging, despite a look of protest visible on his face, he followed your request. as you sat between his legs, you couldn’t help to how lucky you were. he rested against the bed post, wandering what was your next move. you could hear his sharp intake of breath as your fingers danced along the inside of his legs. his muscles tensed the closer you were to his crotch. he watched your intensely, clouded with excitement and curiosity. his cock rested against his belly, hard and warm and the moment your cold hand wrapped around the length, it twitched. not that you had any reference, he was your first and to his words, your last. you never had a moment to marvel on his, fingers running curiously along the bumps of vein as more pre cum started to drip along the length. you gave more strokes, eyes glued, head tilted in fascination. running your thumb along the slit, you couldn’t help but wondered how all of it fit.

bending down, you pressed a kiss on the tip, tongue lapping lazily on the slit.

“y/n,” he warned, disliking the idea of being teased.

you looked up, head slightly tilted on the side, no regrets in your mind, “beggars don’t get to choose, they get what they get.” the light roll of his eyes meant something to you. you knew the line at heart, it was his lessons; your punishments. your tongue moved again, slowly around the head before pulling back with a gentle pop. he stared mouth agape, cheeks flushing as strings of fluid connected you to his cock.

you weren’t punishing him. you were just learning about him better.

when you kissed his cock, his body twitched. when you looked up to him hazy, he flushed.

so when you took his entire length down your throat, it was excited to see how his hips bucked upward. you never heard such colourful words escaped melodiously out of his lips, hand quick to grab the base of your neck. “s-slow down,” he chuckled nervously, yet his action spoke the opposite. you held down well, pulling out with your tongue swirling along the length but never enough to pull out. you hummed and bopped, sucking on the tip and making sure that his tip hit the back of your throat every time. it made your cunt squirming, aching when you could taste him.

pulling out for a breather, your hands took the position, making sure that his cock was constantly occupied and ready for you. every stroke made the man swallowed faster, breath hitching when your hand sped up. you caught a glance of him; head back, eyes half opened holding back moans out of his throat. you leaned kissing his neck, jaw until you were looking in his eyes planting kisses on his lips.

“do me a favour?” you mewled.

he was almost breathless, “whatever you want.”

“fuck my throat please?” you batted your eyes, pleading with your eyes always work. he could never say no that, excitedly pushing your head down. you grew to like it, looking up with your glistening eyes as he kept a steady thrust in your mouth. his deep muttering of fucks echoed with the squelching of your throat throughout the room. you kept your fingers tight against his thighs. gagging sound was all he could hear from you, letting out moans of pleasure as a praise. “that’s my good girl, keep it wise.” he knew your limit, he trained you for this. you were so obedient, it made him obsessed. his cock twitched even more when tears started spilling down your cheeks.

“fuck, baby spread your legs a bit. i want to see you touch yourself.”

you did happily. you were more than wet, you could barely rub your clit. your moans only provide more stimulation to his cock every time it hit the back of your throat. it was a blurred sense of reality. both of you couldn’t take it anymore. “fuck, fuck, i’ll fucking cum if you keep doing that, c’mere,” ayato gasped, pulling you off. it was the sense of urgency as you kissed each other, climbing on his laps. his shaky hands welcomed you, while you scrambled to align yourself. you drank of each other’s gazes, swallowing the moans as you sank yourself down on him. you were breathing heavy, it was months ago when you had him deep. even with the amount of wetness you were, adjusting to his length took some time. he peppered kisses all over your face, shushing you, a hand on your waist gripping tight, “slow down, you’ll hurt yourself,” he warned, holding your face, teasing your lips with kisses. you shook your head lightly, his warning fell on deaf ears because all you wanted was all of him in you.

“i want you now.”

he grinned, “i know you do, but if i break you again, i will have to go back to fucking my hand and it’s not that much fun.”

his finger brushed against your cheeks, “go slowly, you’re so fucking tight i can fucking cum right now.” your thigh trembled. you chose to play the teasing game and it was eating you alive. you are aching for the fullness, desperate to be fucked blissed out of your mind. you deserved his entire attention. “for someone who spend the entire marriage begging me to slow down, you surely look disappointed right now,” he teased, biting lightly on your pouting lips, “so desperate for me to fuck your little cunt huh?” you rolled your eyes.

“ayato, your little lessons bore me, are you gonna keep teasing me or are you going to fuck me?”

he was taken aback by your brashness, a small proud smile etched on the corner of his lips. “keep running your mouth like that, i’ll keep you high and dry, my lady,” he warned playfully, jolting his hip upward like a tease with his grip on your jaws left it aching. you obeyed his silent request, cunt pulsing excitedly as he spitted in you, patting your cheek proudly like an obedient dog when you swallowed. he took his sweet time teasing you that you didn’t realise you had him whole all along. you could feel his pelvic against your bundle of nerve, a little wiggle was enough to make your body tingled. “there we go, you need to be a little patient. we do have all night you know?” his hands roamed lower, excited to see the familiar bulge in your tummy where his cock sat. you continued to rock your hips, hands against his chest, grinding against his bone. his hands against the hips helped, occasionally landing a playful hit against the fleshy side. the fullness you crave was aching, you wanted to move.

“please can i move?”

he grinned, rubbing your thighs, “always so eager to please, of course you can,” he leaned forward, warm breath brushing your ear, “but you’ll cum when i say you can.”

he always need some control—as if looking down on you with both hands against the back of his head, leering on your body wasn’t enough. your fingers dug deep against his abs as you moved your hips. as long as you are moving, you were in control. ah the false control you knew but chose to ignore. it felt so lewd to look at him as you selfishly chase for your high, milking him of his own. his tongue licking his lips hungrily as his gaze glued to your bouncing tits. every time you whined and lids moved to close, he clicked his tongue. your cheeks grew warmer.

“keep your eyes on me, y/n-chan.”

your lips trembled, choking on your words only managed to let out a chortled whine. you forced your gaze on him, earning yourself a pretty proud smile. he was red all over, beads of sweat coated his skin and lips apart with every deep thrust you could hear his own whine. his hand moved to brace himself against the headboard, knuckles whiter than the sheet. your body pressed against each other as his lips found its way back to your tits. swirling around the bud, lapping and grazing his fangs against it eliciting more of the sweet, sweet nectar. his fingers dug deep against your back deeper as you lower down as if to push himself deeper, leaving crescent marks and bruising your cervix. he pant, switching from one breast to another. you ran your hand through his luscious lock, eyes crossed path again. knowing all the signs, you pushed his head back, pinning him against the board by the shoulder.

“nu’uh, you’ll cum when i tell you to.”

his laughter echoed the room, “we don’t play that game here.”

you squinted your eyes, shaking your head, “no, we play it fair and square and you are about to cum.”

“so? you think one cum will get me done, baby, i can go all fucking night. i’ll get the second right back in you.” his threats send shivers down your spine but you weren’t about to bow down. he married for your stubbornness, he paid the price. despite the banter, your hips continued to move, pooling more of your mixed arousal down to his thighs. you could feel his body tensing underneath you, your tightened walls started to feel a little too much for his cock. you were doing him a favour by pulling out the moment he could taste the release. the red angry tip now resting against your belly outside. you tried to shove his disappointment down with a kiss, unable to hide your little smile against his lips.

oh, he will play your game.

you thought he thought he won with his hand against your head pushing against the bed with your ass propped up. your giggles didn’t last long the moment he slipped inside you so easily. his pounding were merciless. you bit your tongue, hissing into the bed as he continued to land more spanking against your cheeks until it was sore. you didn’t dare to speak, knowing this is all on you, the one who started it. the stinging pain and his cock rearranging your inside intertwined in such a pleasureful way; all you could muster out of your throat was his name in repeat. like a prayer, like a beggar begging for more. “you could’ve say that you want me to fuck you like a whore, i would’ve bend you over from the start,” his fingers weaved along your hairs yanking your head upward, “since when is my sweet little wife is a big fucking tease?”

you were little fucked in head, he made you like this. you love the time he would make love to you, but a little fucking is nothing compared to that. you craved his harshness.

“does it hurt baby?” he cooed, mocking your weak whimpers with each words emphasized by his cock hitting your sweet spot, “want me to stop? just say the word.”

you shook your head, “h-harder,” you mewled, gripping on the sheet. the hell you’re giving up this opportunity. the different position was a bliss, you could feel his cock against your gummy walls raking, every thrust up to your throat knocking breath out of your lung. every time he pushed your lower back, he hit different little sweet spot you didn’t even know you like. your squeals and curses were his praises. his hand made his home against your throat, pulling you up against his chest. your muffled moans echoed louder around the room as his lips latched against your neck, the other found your throbbing clit. “f-fuck fuck, m’gonna cum,” you cried, clawing on his wrist. he disapprovingly hummed, biting harder against your skin until iron overwhelmed his taste buds. “you can hold it, that’s least you could do after denying mine,” he locked your neck, moving on to where your pulse pounded heavily, lapping the skin above it hungrily.

you were drunk in pleasure, seeing stars in your eyes as his pace grew faster. he didn’t even stop when you were squirting, dripping down the thighs, the resistance made it more fun for him to fuck through. thanks to his hand around your throat, you would’ve slammed your face down. he constantly reminded you that you asked for it, that you can take it. his thumb circled harder against your clit, enjoying the pulsating walls around his cock. you fought to close your thighs together, overwhelmed by the pleasure. your trembling thighs were just a warning that you were closing to the limit. yanking your head backward, he kissed you ferociously. “s’close, does my lady want cum on my cock?” he cooed, happy to see your little nods with tears down your face. you looked so pretty when you cry, but he had to do it. with a pouty lips and a weak apology, you gagged on his heavy fingers on your tongue. he wasn’t planning to wake everyone up this late.

you liked it anyway, he could feel you sucking on the digits.

he focused on his thrusts and palming on your leaking chest. rolling on your hardened buds with his two fingers, you trashed weakly against his arms. he hushed you, reassured you that he would take care of everything. you were getting sore, from his unfaltering thrusts and his skin slapping against your sore ass. your teeth clamping against his fingers didn’t hurt at all, he was high on pleasure and adrenaline. “that’s it, give me all that, lemme see you cum on my cock,” he kissed the back of your ear, another one of your weak spot. your fingers dug into his arms, the knot in your belly tensing and threatening to snap any seconds. you got all blurry, seeing stars; probably tasting some as you rest you head back against his. your words were incoherent slurs of pleas when his free hand moved back to your clit. it didn’t take any longer for your second orgasm to finally hit you like a wave. your head spun in pleasure. he showered you with praise, slapping lightly against your aching cunt. your body jolted, the oversensitiveness from the second orgasm you had for months after giving birth was catching up on you.

ayato wasn’t unfazed, fucking through your orgasm, ignoring your weak whimpers to chase his own high. the pain of your teeth against his skin was apart of his high, listening to his words and whines mixing making more nonsensical noise which was ignored, thrusting desperately into your oversensitive cunt. he was getting rougher and desperate as he rocked you and the bed underneath.

the walls hadn’t heard the loud sloppy sound of his cock jackhammering your cunt in a long time and he couldn’t hold his loud mouth as he felt it coming. the high he was denied was so close he could feel it at the tip of his tongue. a couple more thrusts and he unloaded himself in you, painting the inside full of his cum. he groused and tensed, his own body shaking in pleasure. he was more surprised that he could last longer than you, hips still moving slowly halting into a stop when he was sure he had filled you up of his entirety. filling you up full of his cum was the highlight of his day, something he could never get tired off. maybe this one will stick again, he smiled against your skin. your jaw ached as his fingers left you, replacing with the softest kiss he could muster at the moment. “are you okay?” he asked, brushing away beads of sweat on your forehead, kissing it lightly. you nodded weakly and he spend a few seconds assessing you, laying you down on the cleaner side of the bed. the room was quieter other than the sound of two lovers trying to catch their breath.

he didn’t understand where did the insecurity came from nor did he care but if reassurance was all you need, he would shower it as you needed. he kissed every inch of your skin until all was on your face was a smile. exhaustion left as you found yourself trapped with your legs apart and he was ready to take you again for a second round. holding the base, he scooped the leaking cum. he berated you for being wasteful. you heard it again, those three little words as he buried his face in the crook of your neck. his entrance was a little more smoother and you rolled your eyes in pleasure as he filled you up once more. you asked the same question again. he laughed, kissing your cheeks as he looked down into your glossy, lustful eyes. you couldn’t really focus, not that it mattered if you were listening or not. his words were like a promise; sealed by every thrust against your cervix.

“if i have to fuck you for the whole night just to prove that there’s no one in this world that could replace my scheming little wife, i would. in a heartbeat, in every single universe, the whole tevyat will know who’s name you’ll be screaming. you belong to me.”

© all content belongs to noritoshiikamo. do not modify or repost.

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[erodasfishtacos]

The Only Thing That Matters

Prompt (from kofi commission): Easton’s birth!

Word count: 10k+

warnings: angst, smut, childbirth, minors dni

if you liked please reblog, recommended, like, and come talk to me about it! (this is what motivates me to continue writing)!

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authors note: i am so excited for you guys to read this. i worked my ass off on this! i hope you guys are a little SHOOK by the plot 😙

-

It unusual for the two to fight.

They weren't a couple who participated in pointless power struggles or irrational debates, just occasionally get annoyed with one another, if that.

It was unfortunate that one of their first major argument was occuring when they had so many exciting events happening in their lives.

College graduation was looming over them, after months of studying for exams, it was nearly time to take the finals.

Harry wasn't concerned about studying, finals weren't important to him, not with the draft ceremony only two days away.

YN had never seen Harry so high-strung or stressed out - he was usually very carefree and not worried about a single thing enough to make him on edge like he has been for the past few weeks.

His nose wasn't buried deep in his textbook for sports management, no, it was constantly on his phone to read articles and watch videos about the upcoming event and experts opinion on who was going to be first pick.

YN was not quite sure why he was so anxious, nearly 99.9% of predictions were that he was going to be the first choice.

It wasn't a secret he was already to be predicted to be one of the best players of all time, of course he was going to be picked first - any team would be idiotic not too.

It was the pressure that Harry was getting from every aspect of his life, his coaches, teammates, and the media.

The most upsetting part of this was that Harry had become so overly stressed out and pressured that he was drawn thin - he was constantly between working out, practicing, photoshoots, and interviews for ESPN and Sports Center.

YN can't remember the last time that he had gotten more than four hours of sleep, other than their 'date night' which was a evening they set baseball and studying aside to watch a movie with the promise of sex afterwards - especially because that wasn't happening quite as much with how exhausted Harry was.

However, not even fifteen minutes into the movie, he had his head tucked into the crook of YN's neck and was snoring softly with his shower-fluffy hair tickling her cheek.

She couldn't be upset because she knew how tired he must be, especially if he turned down sex because that had literally never happened before.

It wasn't anything they couldn't manage together, they tried to end up at least sleeping in the same bed at the end of the night - almost exclusively at the frat.

It wasn't until a day before they was going to fly from North Carolina to Miami for the ceremony and following festivities that things started to go wrong.

YN had three, yes, three final papers plus an article for a journalism class. The other two of her classes were comprehensive exams that took a lot of studying of all the information they learned in a semester.

Not to mention the journalism article that had been taking endless hours of research, interviews, and deep diving into archives of the library to get done.

It was always planned that YN would go with him, of course she would, he wouldn't rather have anyone else there to support him.

Not to be dramatic, but Harry knew that he would be marrying YN after the second date, it was just a matter of time before he bought her a ring.

He actually already had a plan of how he was going to propose.

After his first game in the major leagues, he would bring her out onto the field, just the two of them, and get down on one knee - fireworks lighting the sky right afterwards.

But plans rarely turn out that way.

YN had just stayed up for nearly sixteen hours straight, switching between studying flashcards and typing away viciously at one of the many papers.

Her lids were heavy, making it more difficult to blink at the bright screen, her stomach was in knots so she hadn't eaten recently.

Harry had been at a meeting with his management team, there was a lot of coordination that went into making sure everything went smoothly.

It had been an itching thought in the back of her mind that she wasn't possibly going to be able to go to Miami, not with everything due but she was still praying she could get it done.

Then that dream was obliterated into tiny, nonrepairable shards when her laptop died - unexpectedly.

She hadn't realized that the charger was not pushed in enough to provide the power to do so, which meant that she had just lost nearly four hours of work that her groggy mind had not saved.

Still hopeful, she quickly plugs it back in and pulls up her document again - only to be confronted with the thousands of words she was missing from her writing.

Fuck.

YN can't do anything for a moment but let her head drop in her hands and internally scream at the situation.

Tears build up from the frustration, the disappointment, but also the realization that she is definitely not going to be able to go to Miami.

Harry had been so excited, he'd been talking about bringing YN with him since they first started dating - over two years ago.

She knew he had set up dinner reservations, a couples massage, went out of his way to make this special for her despite the fact that the trip was supposed to be for him.

YN knew she needed to prioritize her education, she knew that Harry was her soulmate and she hoped they would get married soon but nothing in life was guaranteed.

She didn't work hard all of her life to get a good education just to be a trophy wife, she needed to be able to support herself if she had to be on her own.

Harry had also been on edge even more so than lately and YN knew this news wasn't going to make the situation any better.

The night unfortunately does not go any better after this.

Harry opens the door to her dorm room, his hair is damp from a locker room shower and his shirt is sticking to his skin from putting it on before he was completely dried off.

He had his practice duffel over his shoulder and an annoyed expression decorating his face, not the usual puppy dog excitement when he sees her after a long day.

"Why are you here?" Harry asks abruptly, voice rough from a long day of yelling - he doesn't drop his bag or make any effort to make himself comfortable.

YN looks at him, perplexed, why wouldn't she be in her own dorm room?

He sees the confusion on her face, huffing out like he's impatient he has to explain it to her, "I texted you like six times to meet me at the frat. I'm tired and don't want to sleep on your tiny bed. C'mon."

She didn't appreciate the attitude that was interwoven between his words.

She could understand and appreciate that he was stressed up but it didn't mean she had to put up with the backlash of it.

"I can't tonight, H. My computer died and I lost almost an entire essay that is due," YN explains, pushing back her chair from the desk so she can spin around and cross her arms to let him know that she meant business.

"Just come do it at the frat," Harry states, like it's the obvious solution, "I'm tired and I'm not tryin' to have a back and forth with you."

YN's eye bug at him in disbelief, scoffing as she says,"Then sleep by yourself tonight. It's too insane to concentrate over at the frat. I need to get this done."

"We need to talk about the trip," Harry replies, his tongue kissing the back of his teeth, "Figure out the details."

She takes a deep breath, it's not ideal to tell him right now when he's already crabby but she didn't want the guilt weighing on her for any longer than necessary.

"I'm not going to be able to go," YN's voice softened, tears prickling at the corner of her eyes as she looks down at her feet to avoid the hurt flashing across his face.

"What?" Harry drops his bag and strides over, he kneels in front of her, finger coming under her chin so he can make eye contact, "Darling, I've been a bit short lately. I'm just-"

She stops him with her finger brushing against his plush lips, "It has nothing to do with that. I just don't have enough time to finish all these finals if I go this weekend. I have to put school first."

Harry's eyes narrow, nearly into slits as he processes what she's telling him, pushing back to stand up, "I want you to come with me."

"I want to finish my college degree that I worked my ass off for," YN bites back, tears boiling over as anger sweeps through her body at his stubbornness.

"Why are you acting like you're going to actually need to work?" Harry asks in true bewilderment, "I'm estimated to be the highest paid player ever and this is what you're worried about?"

YN grinds her teeth because he is being so fucking obtuse right now, "I need my own livelihood, incase things dont work out. I'm not saying they won't but I need to be able to stand on my own."

"What the fuck are you even talkin' about?" He replies with more frustration than she's ever heard out of him off-field, "You know we're going to be together. I'll always support you, even if something happens."

YN throws her hands up in agitation, "I can't believe that you're being so dense. You care more about me attending this event than graduating from college. Do you even hear yourself?"

"Do you just not want to go?" Harry accuses as he stands back up and straightens his back - rigid and cold, "You should have been more responsible and had them done by now. Not acting surprised when they're due. You've known about Miami since last summer."

"I am so supportive of you, literally even second of the day. I don't appreciate your lack of understanding about this," YN tells him, trembling with a mixture of agitation and desperation for him to understand.

"Because I need you there with me!" Harry booms, louder than he's ever been with her, "I don't understand how you can't bloody see it! I literally planned three days of shit for us to do afterwards from massages to rooftop dinners and you're now refusing to go because a fucking essays you poorly prepared for."

A sense of guilt starts to sink into her stomach.

Even though she was angry at him for the way he's reacting to the news, she understands how much he must be hurting that she isn't going with him.

"Harry, your mom and Gemma are going. It's not like you'll be going alone," YN tries to remind him but his jaw is clenched and eyes fiery - past the point of conversation or reasoning.

"Right. Well fuck me for wanting the woman I want to spend my life by my side during the most improtant night of my life," He replies with a disgusting amount of sarcarsm laced through his words.

"You're being unreas-" She tries to argue but is cut off by his loud tone again.

"You know what. Have fun writing your essays. I'll see you when I get back from Miami," He cuts her off before slinging his duffel back over his shoulder and heading towards the door.

YN has tears streaming down her cheeks as she watches her boyfriend.

He glances back at her before leaving, reminding her, "I love you, more than anything but right now I am so fucking furious with you."

And then the door shuts louder than necessary.

YN finds herself wiping her cheeks with the sleeve of her sweatshirt constantly through the night as she trudges through the essays.

She half expects Harry to come back, apologize and just hold her for a bit, maybe even a text message but nothing comes and that's how she knows he's more angry with her than he's ever been.

Miami was only a day away and her heart shattered when she realized that Harry had no plans on seeing her that day before he left.

YN ends up drifting off to sleep with her head resting in her arms at her desk, only barely conscious at some point to move to her small bed.

Harry is always the first one to text in the morning because he's always up the earliest because of his beginning of day workouts.

When YN rouses from her sleep, disoriented and just feeling off, out of habit she grabs her phone to text her boyfriend - realizing that he hadn't sent her one.

A wave of nausea hit her at that moment, having her flee from her bed to the bathroom to empty her stomach into the toilet bowl.

She stays there for at least fifteen minutes, trying to breathe through the turning of her stomach.

It ebbs after awhile, allowing YN to jump in the shower and clean herself up, she just felt absolutely awful - emotionally and physically.

YN chalked it up to the stress, the fighting, the amount of work she still had sitting ahead of her at laptop.

Throughout the day, YN checks on Harry through their 'Find My Friends', he's busy from his location changing to the stadium, gym, across town at his manager's office, talking to scouts, and she knows he's not purposely ignoring her except for via phone.

YN found herself running to the bathroom once more around noon due to her stomach just churning but she figured that the stress of everything was really getting to her.

Quite a few mornings over the past week and half, she'd been waking up with an upset stomach because of all the pressure of the semester coming to an end.

Since then, she'd been cautiously sipping on a ginger ale and trying to get her nerves under control so that it didn't happen again.

She can't lie and say that she isn't constantly checking her phone to see if Harry has texted her or called - she would be shocked if he actually left for Florida without another word to her, that would be too out of character for him.

And she's right.

It's nearly nine at night, her bum hurts from being sat at her desk for the whole day and there's still so much more work to do.

There's a knock at her door, a bit harsh, and she knows exactly that it's her annoyed boyfriend.

YN gets up to unlock the door, she's relieved because she thinks that he's forgiven her and he finally understands why she can't go.

Instead when she swings open the door, Harry who looks dead on his feet doesn't make a move to come in - his shoulders are broad and tense, he looks unhappy.

"Hi," YN starts but doesn't get her full greeting out before being interrupted.

"Did you finish all your work?" Harry asks bluntly, raspy and sharp, "It shouldn't have taken you more than the day, right?"

"H," She replies softly, "I'm sorry, baby. I really really am. I just can't go. It’s not all going to be done by tonight.”

Harry swallows harshly, jaw flexing as he processes her words, "I can't believe you. You know how important this is to me, how important you are to me. Can't believe you're really fuckin' doing this to me."

YN has never seen Harry this upset with her.

Sure, she sees him rage and act like an absolute nightmare on the field but when it came to them - they'd really fought, sure they got annoyed with each other but not like this.

"Harry, you're acting like I am purposely not wanting to go!" YN exclaims with a tinge of fire, her tone raising just the slightest at the offense.

"You know what, have fun with your papers. I'm glad that all your stuff is so much more important than me," He bites back, his eyes are livid and his voice is louder than hers now.

"Yes, I am so sorry I think it's more important to graduate college than go to Flroida for a weekend," YN replies sarcastically, her hand squeezing the doorknob.

"You bloody know I'm going to be first round pick! You fuckin' know I'll be making so much money I won't ever have to worry. Neither will you because it will be your money too!" Harry huffs out, his anger rising as his neck starts to flush pink.

"It's not just about money, H. I'm not going to stand here and argue with you. You're being unreasonable," She shakes her head, truly though, she justs wants to give him a hug and tell him she's sorry for letting him down.

Harry just stares at her for a moment, deciding his next words before saying, "I'm being unreasonable? I think it's pretty fuckin' reasonable why I'm upset but you've made up your mind apparently. Have a great weekend."

The last sentence was coated in a fake happiness before he's pushing off the doorframe and turning on his heel.

YN slams the door to get across the point that she's not in the wrong and she's just as angry with him.

When she finally shuts her laptop screen, it's late and she has a headache - she misses her boyfriend because this is the longest they've went without talking and she just wanted to sleep in the same bed as him.

But they’re both stubborn, she isn't going to fold on this one because she knows she is making the right choice for herself.

YN can't believe she forgot to set an alarm because when she finally blinks her eyes open - the now familiar nauseous rolling through her, it's nearly noon.

Harry would already be in Miami, getting his tailored suit on, and nearly ready to head towards the stadium for the event with his mother and sister.

As for YN, she's hunched over the toilet before she can even move to open her laptop to start her next paper.

When the pains in her stomach subside, over dry heaving due to her not even eating anything yesterday - she opens the lid of her laptop to finish her final paper for Sports & Media Journalism.

She opens another tab on her browser to pull up ESPN live television to watch the coverage on the draft pick - she wasn't going to miss watching Harry just because she was cross with him.

When she finds what she's looking for, she hits her volume as an advertisement plays across the screen for leak-proof tampons.

Her stomach sinks clear into the floor of her dorm room because something clicks inside her head that she hasn't had hers yet this month and she has been nauseous most mornings.

There's no way.

Is there?

Actually, maybe.

Now that she thinks back to about two months ago.

-

YN had usually taken her birth control pills religiously- rarely ever missed one or forgot to set an alarm to take it.

However, it was spring break and they were staying at Anne's house for nearly a week and they were both admittedly lax.

Harry and her had been sleeping in until mid-morning, sometimes into the afternoon, and lazing around by the pool or cuddled up watching movies.

It was a rare time he got a break from baseball.

YN usually took her pill as soon as she got up in the morning but sleeping in with her warm, sleep-soft boyfriend who wrapped himself around her like a vine was much more tempting than an alarm clock.

She knew better but hadn't thought much of it when she took her pills later than normal that whole week, notably forgetting to take them one of the days they were there and not realizing until they got home.

It didn't seem like a big deal at the time.

And YN knows exactly which time may had got her pregnant - if she was.

YN meant to remind Harry to pull out, he normally didn't have to because she was so responsible with the pill.

She meant to let him know that he should because she hadn't been that week and she should probably get back on track before he does.

It was the night they got home from Anne's, in Harry's frat bedroom because despite how horny Harry had been that whole week - the house was entirely too small for them to have sneaky sex.

The walls were thin, Anne's room was right next to theirs, and the room Gemma was in was on the other side - blocking them in.

The bedroom door didn't have a lock and had a tendency to drift open if there was a draft in the house.

Harry pouted like a little boy the whole time, begging YN to sneak into the bathroom with him or "Please baby, just give me your mouth."

But Harry can't shut up when he's receiving any kind of pleasure and the last thing YN wanted to do was get caught by his mother or sister in the act.

And so, when they got home from Anne's, Harry had carried their suitcases up to his room in the frat, taking the stairs by two in his haste - it was on.

As soon as they both were in his bedroom, he slammed the door shut so hard that the wood was trembling against its post and the metal of the doorknob was shaking in protest.

Harry lifted YN up, making her squeak in surprise as he sat her on his dresser - his lips capturing hers and his tongue pushing into her mouth without the patience to ask permission.

His hands were everywhere, acting like he's fucking starving as he barely breaks their kiss to yank her shirt and bra off of her, none to gently.

"Missed this perfect fuckin' body," Harry growled under his breathe as he roughly cups her breasts to bring to his mouth where he begins to nip and suck on her hardening nipples.

"Shit, H. It's only been a week," She giggles breathily as she yanks at the roots of his hair - making him moan through the sharp pain - slicking up her chest with his tongue.

"Need you everyday though," He emphasized as he pulls back to admire the marks he was leaving all over the softness of her breasts, "S'never enough, got the best cunt I've ever had."

YN gives his curls one more tug, enough his head bends a bit as she posessively murmurs, "Only one you've ever had, you brat."

Harry looks up from her tits with a toothy smile and sugary soft eyes as he presses their lips back together, "Yeah, yeah it is. S'cause you're my person, right? Been waiting my whole life to give it you."

"Don't have to charm me, already got me. C'mon," YN rolls her eyes, bringing their lips back together as his fingers curl into the waistband of her yoga pants and begin to pull them down - kneeling as he goes, lips trailing down her belly until she’s moaning with satisfaction as he licks up her center.

-

YN remembers only realizing they shouldn't have done that after the fact, when they're already in the shower cleaning themselves up.

She had brushed it off because she thought the likelihood of something happening was so low - she is starting to think that she is poorly mistaken.

YN doesn't realize that she is physically trembling until she's jolted from her stupor by Harry's name being announced over the speakers of her laptop.

She had zoned out, missed his whole introduction because when she looks back at the computer screen, she sees her devastatingly handsome boyfriend shaking hands with a few men before being handed a New York Yankees jersey.

Holy shit.

As she watches him accept his new team, his life is changed, he is moving forward to be successful as expected - he’s smiling widely on the screen, eyes twinkling, and they cut to Gemma and Anne tearful with pride for him.

YN was struck with fear that she just ruined something for him, scratch that not just something, she’s just ruined everything for him.

They were so so young.

Just starting their lives as adults and they were only twenty!

She had a mixture of confusing emotions stirring in her belly but before she tried to delve into those, she knew she shouldn't get ahead of herself before she took a test.

In her haze, she leaves her phone at home when she heads out to go to the drugstore - she picks one further off campus in hopes of no one paying any mind to her.

However, as she tucks the boxes into the crook of her arm, she hears someone calling her name and she freezes in surprise.

Niall is jogging up to her, a smile wide on his face, "Thought you'd be in Florida. New York Yankees, huh?"

He takes in her deer-in-headlights expression before his eyes dart down to the boxes that boldy indicate what they are and his eyes dart back up quickly.

"Please," YN whispers, feeling tears pool up in her eyes, she really didn't want to cry but she felt like this couldn't get worse, "I'm going to tell him bu-"

Niall cuts her off, his face soft and concerned, hand coming to her shoulder, "Hey, no tears, yeah? M'not gonna tell. It's your business, not anyone elses. Do you need anything?"

YN smiles watery, she loved Niall, he was such a good friend to both of them but she shakes her head and he tags along without asking any questions when she goes to check out.

-

When she gets back to her room, the event is still up on her computer and there is a decent amount of picks that have gone through already.

YN can hear her phone vibrating on her desk, she runs over - all her missed call notifications popping up, signaling that Harry had tried to call her multiple times in the past hour.

"Hello?" She asks into the phone, if she was in her right mind - she would have already realized that she should have called him and congratulated him on his achievement but she’d forgotten her phone.

"You're that fuckin' cross with me that you're not even going to call and tell me congratulations?" Harry bites out angrily before adding, "Been sitting 'ere, waiting for my phone to ring and nothing. Not one fuckin' word from you."

YN's mouth gaped open for a second in surprise, his voice was raised and sharp, it had a rumble that was from deep in his chest.

"I meant to call but -" YN tried to gather her thoughts, her mind was going every which way right now as she stared at the bright pink and blue patterns on the boxes in front of her.

"But what? There's literally no bloody excuse for you not to call me!" Harry bites out, his mouth sounds much too close to the receiver and she can hear muffled noises in the background.

"I'm-“

"Whatever, I'm not going to sit on the phone and listen to excuses. I needed you here and you didn't come. I bet you didn't even watch it, did you?" Harry accuses angrily, a tremble in the strain to keep his voice at a low volume, like there were people around.

"I did watch it," YN replies but she knows that she sounds dull, unexcited, numb because she's more concerned that she's about to ruin the life he just began than arguing over a phone call.

"Don't sound so thrilled," Harry scoffs - calling her bluff but the hurt is laced through his words, "Whatever. I'm not going to sit here and beg you to be happy for me all because of a little fight. I can’t believe you.”

Then the line goes dead.

YN feels like she's going to throw up.

She snatches up the boxes, going into the bathroom, and is ripping every single white plastic test out of the packaging before laying them next to the sink in preparation.

She had chugged a massive amount of water that she had purchased at the drugstore on her way home - which could have also contributed to her upset stomach.

YN stares at them for a long moment, she doesn't think her heart has ever raced so fast in her life because this will change the course of not only her future but Harry's too.

She sits down, does what she needs to do then reapplies the caps and places them on the counter as she sets her timer for three minutes.

YN tries to keep her mind blank but it isn't working - she knows Harry wants kids, wants kids with her but she also feels like this might ruin his dreams - getting this dream job and then dealing with the weight of the responsibility of a baby he didn't plan for with the woman he would resent because of it.

The shrill timer has her jumping from the edge of her bed, legs feeling like absolute gelatin as they drag her to the tiny dorm bathroom.

She looks at herself in the mirror, trying to convince herself that they'll be negative but when she darts her eyes down - they're all blaring the same word to her.

Pregnant.

YN's breath caught as she picked them up and examined the one with just the lines further before she let herself exhale, steadying her breathing.

She instinctively puts a hand to where her baby is being homed, a new emotion that she's never felt in her life crashes over her like a tsnaumi.

It was a warm, honeyed mixture of love, fierce protectiveness, and awe of what she and Harry had unknowingly created with their love.

Harry.

YN doesn't know what to do.

She doesn't know how he's going to take it.

YN rushes to her phone, picking it up to ring him and it only rings two or three times before he's sending her to voicemail and ignoring it.

It doesn't deter her, she's calling once, twice, three times before he finally answers out of annoyance of her persistence.

"What could you possibly want from me right now?" Harry growls in frustration over the line, a tone she’s never head him use with her, "Humor me."

YN freezes in panic, this isn't how she wants to tell him when he's already so angry with her.

What if he was planning on breaking up with her?

"I-I'm sorry," YN chokes outs, she feels like she might hyperventilate with the stress coursing through her body, the calmness that was there a minute ago disappearing, "I-I'm sorry."

There's a short pause.

"Baby," Harry breathes out, the softness that she's used to seeping into his tone, "Are you okay? I-"

"I can't-" YN stammers, squeezing her eyes shut and swallowing harshly, "I...I can't do this right now."

YN makes a rash decision, she hangs up the phone and presses the side button until the screen fades to black.

Then she's setting it on her desk, ignoring the fact that Harry is most likely desperately trying to call her back.

She couldn't fight with him anymore right now, not when she was having to process that she was growing another human inside of her.

YN feels the exhaustion of the past week and a half of morning sickness, sleep deprivation from finals, and arguments with Harry hit her like a ton of bricks.

Her eyes close the second her head hits her pillow.

-

There's a loud banging at her door which startles her out of her slumber, her bones feel heavy and her head hurts from the day.

She can tell time has passed because when she fell asleep it was only mid afternoon and now it was completely pitched dark outside of her dorm - the streetlights glimmering dully.

YN drags her feet, assuming it was mostly likely one of the frat boys who Harry sent over to check on her.

She knows she looks like a hot mess, face swollen, puffy eyes, and a bun that had her hair sticking every which way out of it.

"What do you want?" YN groans to get the banging to stop, unlocking and flinging open the door without another thought.

To her utter surprise, it was none other than her boyfriend who looked absolutely livid but at the same time, relieved that she was safe and okay.

He was wearing a New York Yankees tee and his normal athletic shorts and Nikes, his hair still nicely gelled from his television appearance earlier in the day - a bit of sunburn on his nose.

"What the fuck is going on?" Harry rasps, looking her body up and down, "Turning off your phone like that. What on Earth are you thinking?”

YN just...starts crying.

She buries her head in her hands and lets the sobs wrack through her body, shaking her head because she just can’t fight with him right now.

"Baby, baby," Harry responds, alarmed as he pushes himself into the room with her and shuts the door behind them, "Okay, darling. It's okay. I promise I was just cross, baby. Please, breaks my heart to see you cry like this.”

YN allows Harry to tug her straight into his strong chest, wishing that his warm scent could ground her like it usually does but it doesn't.

"I need you to talk to me. I need to know what's going on. You haven't acted like yourself at all today, sweetheart. I know I could have handled my anger better and I'm sorry, my love," Harry murmurs into her hair, lips brushing against her as he keeps her secured to him, his hand slipping under her shirt to rub at the warm skin of her back.

"Don't apologize," YN manages to spit out, "It's me, I'm...I'm messing everything up for you."

Harry pulls back until they make eye contact, his brow furrowed in confusion, "You're the best fuckin' thing that's ever happened to me. You've never ever messed anything up for me."

"Don't say that, please," YN whispers, shaking her head, "I have to tell you something."

Harry's eyes widen and an almost heartbreaking expression takes over his previously rigid one, "Baby...you didn't cheat on me?"

"God, Harry," YN can't help but wetly chuckle, "When would I have time? You're literally trying to get it every other second."

His face smooths out, a boyish smile appears for a moment until he's serious again, "What happened? What did you do that you think could mess up my life?"

YN lets out a loud exhale before detangling herself from him, she goes into the bathroom to gather the tests into her fist and swallows hard before coming back out.

Without making eye contact, she shoves them into his palm and watches nervously as the crease between his brow appears as he brings them up to examine them.

It takes him a moment before his eyes meet YN's, he says, "Tell me once again, how you think you could possibly be messing up my life?"

"I'm pregnant," YN whispers as if he doesn't have the tests in his hands, "It's not..it's not what you planned. you just started your career."

Harry tosses the plastic tests on the desk, striding towards his girlfriend, and hugging her so tightly that it nearly hurts before his lips on hers.

"Sweetheart, you're gonna give me a baby?" Harry asks sweetly, his eyes watering and he chuckles as he wipes away the tears that start to spill over.

"I am," YN smiles softly, unsure as she thumbs at the apples of his cheeks where his grin is so wide his eyes are squinted, dimples popping.

"How...How could you think I wouldn't be anything but excited?" Harry murmurs as his large hands start rucking up her shirt to palm at her belly, "Never been a secret that I wanted this with you. Always want you more than anything, that includes baseball."

YN buries her face into his chest, lets him rock them back and forth as she feels little sobs shake his chest.

"I can't believe we're gonna have a baby," Harry sniffles happily, "Never thought I was gonna find the one, you know? Wanted my whole life for you, didn't think you existed. Then you just come into my life and give me everything I ever wanted."

"You just started your whole life," YN still feels her lips quiver while Harry pecks them over and over again, hands rubbing over every inch of her tummy as if he’s saying hello to the baby.

"You're right," Harry agrees with a soft smile, he's trying to hold back a sob, "Got onto my dream team, got my dream girl, and now we're gonna have a little family."

YN shutters out a choked noise, shaking her head in denial still, "It's..It's...We're going to hold you back."

The curve of his lips drops, into something more stormy, his hands firmer on her hips as he makes eye contact, "Stop it now, okay? I want this baby. I want you. All of it. Nothing, nothing is more important than this."

YN nods in better understanding, wrapping her arms around his neck and bringing their lips together once more, "We're going to be parents."

Harry brings her as close as possible, she can feel his heartbeat thudding rapidly in his chest like after a long game.

She's confused when he pulls back, keeping her at arm's length before he's kneeling down, "I don't have a ring right now but I'm sure as hell making you my wife as soon as possible. Gonna be my wife and have my baby. I don't want this with anyone else, baby. I'm so god damn in love with you I'm stupid with it. Please darling, please marry me."

YN knows the shock on her face is visible, she must pause for a moment too long because Harry begins to speak again but YN is giggling and saying, "Of course, I'll marry you," before she's stepping forward and knocking him over with how much force she hugs him with.

It ends up with Harry splayed on his back on the carpet of her tiny dorm room, with her on top, kissing him and tugging at his shirt until she can pull it over his head.

"Gonna give it to your fiancé? Gonna show me what a good lil' wife you're gonna be?" Harry rumbles, the arousal already setting into his bravado as he moves to take off her top - squeaking when she bites his lip at his cooing tone.

-

It's not the wedding she thought she would have with Harry but that was okay - somehow what they ended up doing was way better than anything over the top or extravagant.

It's at City Hall, the witness being someone who happened to be in the courtroom that day - YN was dressed in a simple white dress, Harry in the same suit he wore to the draft pick.

By this point, her bump was just showing at nearly four months, so much had changed in that short time.

They both had graduated with their degrees, relocated to a small apartment in Manhattan, Harry was already in the first season of his new career.

It wasn't the luxurious lifestyle quite yet, they still had to budget their money and make sure they didn't eat out too much because Harry had yet to make any major money yet (oh, how that would change).

They knew their families would be upset they weren't invited to the wedding but it was something they just wanted to do for each other and the tiny baby growing in her stomach.

Harry sobs like an absolute baby when YN says "I do" and when it's made official Harry has both hands on the sides of her jaw and brings her in for a deep kiss before one palm moves to cradle her belly.

-

Harry was just starting his second season of the game, as soon as he had been drafted - he had been thrust onto the field.

It hadn't been a surprise when within a few weeks he was starting pitcher and on the hitting line-up.

YN traveled with him to nearly every game until it wasn't safe for her to fly anymore as she reached the end of her pregnancy.

The money had begun to appear in their bank account at an alarmingly fast rate, making Harry a multi-millionaire overnight.

They moved from the tiny one bedroom to a luxurious apartment in mere months because not only was he getting paid to play, the commision from his jersey and other memorabilia, then he signed multiple contracts with different brands like Nike and Smart Water for millions upon millions of dollars too.

YN had never seen Harry happier, they were both thriving, and they were loving the little life they created in New York City.

He couldn't be happier with his dream job, his wife, and his little baby on the way - however, he did struggle on the occasions where he was traveling for an extended period of time and was away from her.

-

"How are you feeling?" Harry murmurs, it's dimly lit in his hotel room - he's exhausted from a long game and the anxiety of being away from his wife.

"Bub is kicking up a storm," YN replies with her own smile, she moves the camera until it's on her belly - obvious against her taut skin when an elbow rolls into her side, "They miss you."

It was the wrong thing to say today.

Harry begins to sniffle on the other line, YN pulls the phone back to her where she can see Harry's eyes watering and he's rubbing his face against the sleeve of his shirt.

"I hate being away from you," Harry mumbles, rubbing his eyes before looking at the camera with a guilty expression, "I don't get it. All these guys have no problem going out and partying after every game and all I can do is miss you and the baby."

YN doesn't think anyone in the world would think The Harry Styles, newly twenty-one, millions of dollars at his disposal, and available girls at his fingertips wouldn't be partying after an impressive game - no instead he's in his hotel room tearful about how much he misses his wife.

YN decides empowerment would be the best course of action to make him feel better tonight, so that's what she does.

"H, you're being the best husband and daddy, you know?" YN reminds him, wishing she could cuddle him in this moment, "Providing for your family."

Harry seems to hear that, smiling a bit and nodding, "Anything for you two. I'd do whatever I had to, to provide for you."

YN has no qualms that she married the right man.

-

YN is about a week and a half away from her due date, her ankles swollen and the baby getting uncomfortably large in their home.

Harry had a photoshoot for a Nike advert in Manhattan today for a new line of running clothes that he was modeling for.

She had accompanied him, making herself as comfortable as possible on a sofa in the corner of the studio - sipping from a water bottle as she watched her husband.

He looked so fucking handsome is the thing, changing right there in front of everybody - showing off his rippled stomach, the sharp vee that leads into his shorts.

She couldn't lie and say it didn't do anything to her because the pregnancy hormones - well Harry hadn't been complaining with how often she was trying to get with him.

-

Harry had a late flight home, he fully expected YN to have been asleep by the time he dropped his duffel in the entryway of their flat.

However, when he trails into the living room, he's surprised by her sitting on their sofa, looking at him expectantly in just a tee of his and some soft-looking panties.

"Hi darling," Harry murmurs, his voice soft and low but she didn't look an ounce of tired as her eyes looked him up and down, "Not sleepy?"

"Mmm, was waiting up for you," YN agrees before casually tacking on, "So that you could fuck me."

Harry's eyebrows nearly shoot into his hairline, a warm zip of electricity making his cock twitch, "Baby, are you--"

"Don't," She complains brattily, heaving herself up and off the couch to trail over to him, wasting no time in getting his shirt off before he gets with the program and is taking over.

Harry groans loudly when his hand dips down into the front of her panties, "Fucking shit. This for me, sweet girl?"

"Please, m'so ready," YN huffs, not wanting any teasing like she usually does, "Harry, please. Stop messing around. Just want it.”

"Jesus, you're so fucking hot," Harry rumbles as he gently pushes her back onto the couch until she's laying down and he can crawl ontop of her, smiling more fondly when the large bump of her belly prohibts Harry from pressing himself against her like he wants.

“No, not like this,” YN complains after just a moment, pushing a confused Harry up until she can rearrange them until he’s sat up and she can lower herself down onto him to get deeper.

“Fuckin’ hell,” Harry gasps when she sinks all the way down, his mouth moving to lick at her sensitive and puffy nipples as she begins to lazily grind back and forth.

She isn’t rushed, completely lost in her own arousal as she moves her hips every which way to find where she can get the most friction on her clit and where he’ll be hitting her spot.

“No bloody wonder m’obsessed with you,” Harry remarks breathily when she begins to pick up the pace of her movements, eyes shut and head tilted back, pushing her chest further into his mouth as she mewls at her oncoming pleasure, “Never seen somethin’ better than this. All full of my baby, riding me like you own me. You do own me, baby.”

-

YN is taken out of her dirty daydream by a sharp pain to her side, it’s not like her usual jolts from when the bub kicks her too hard or throws an elbow.

Instead, she’s panicked when a gush of fluid seeps through her leggings and begins to drip down her legs - for a moment she thinks she wet herself until she realizes her water just fucking broke.

YN’s frozen for a moment, Harry’s currently giving the flashing cameras a dazzling smile in a mesh top and matching shorts.

The ache she felt moments ago resurfaces but feels more visceral this time, making her toes curl at the pain that radiates through her whole body.

She doesn’t feel like she can stand up, not without help, and there’s no one right near her but she doesn’t want to cause a scene by yelling for him.

After another contraction rocks her, it’s involuntary when she cradles her stomach and lets out a low moan of pain that has everyone turning their head to look.

Harry’s rushing from the white backdrop, over to the couch to knee down, when his hands come to rest on her thighs he notices the wet fabric underneath his fingertips.

“H,” YN whimpers, reaching to place her hands on his shoulders, “The baby’s co-coming,” She stutters over a contraction.

Harry goes into serious husband mode, “Okay, okay darling. We have to get you to the hospital. You’re doing perfect already. Let me help you up.”

YN gets to her feet, gripping her husband’s forearm hard when a cramp radiates through her stomach, and Harry just presses his lips to her clammy forehead until it passes.

-

“Alright, honey. I need you to push on three,” The doctor at the end of the bed instructs as the nurses flit around to prepare for the arrival of their child.

YN nods, holding Harry’s hand tightly as she pushes as hard as she can for five long seconds before slumping back down onto the bed and panting.

“Okay, we’re gonna give you a minute break then try again,” Dr. Dicer instructs before smiling reassuringly at the young couple.

“You’re doing so good,” Harry murmurs against her temple, pecking all over her sweaty face and rubbing his thumb over her knuckles, “You’re so so close. I’m so fuckin’ proud of you.”

“I just want our baby,” YN huffs between gasps of catching her breath, “Just want our baby, H.”

“Soon, soon we’re gonna have them, huh?” Harry smiles happily, his hands were shaking with nervousness and excitement all in one, “We’ll have our baby. Be a family.”

“Yeah, we wi- ohh,” YN cuts off in a groan, scrunching her face up and crying out, “I have to push. I can’t stop-“

“It’s okay, mom,” The doctor reassured her, settling back into position, “The baby’s ready to join us. Only a few more pushes than you’ll be parents.”

Harry’s eyes widen when he looks down to see brown wisps of hair as the baby begins to make its entrance into the world push by push.

“Darling,” Harry’s lower lip is wobbling as she bears down to give it all of her might and he nearly chokes on his own breath when in the next minute the doctor is holding a squirming, unhappy crying baby up.

“It’s a boy! Congratulations mom and dad,” Dr. Dicer announces before laying the baby boy on YN’s bare chest as he lets out little bouts of wails.

“Oh my god,” YN giggles between tears, her fingers coming to touch the baby’s strands of damp hair before tracing over his tiny facial features, “Harry, baby. Harry, look.”

“I’m looking,” Harry sniffles, his thumb coming to rub at the baby’s forehead before the nurses swoop in to perform all the necessary tests, “He’s perfect, he’s so fucking perfect. Look how good you did. Did such a good job at giving us our baby, mama.”

It’s the first time the nickname slips from his mouth but far from the last time.

After he’s cleaned up, giving a clean bill of health, and done with their assessments - the nurse asks Harry if he’d like to have skin-to-skin contact.

YN has to chuckle to herself, in her hazy mind as Harry takes off his shirt and the two nurses' eyes widen when they see what’s hiding underneath- checking out his chiseled chest down to where his happy trail leads into his shorts.

It’s forgotten when Harry sits in the chair next to the bed and brings his son to his chest, the baby’s cheek resting against his pec as Harry rubs down their back.

And he just loses it.

Harry’s full on sobbing as he hugs his son to him, tears running down his cheeks and chest shaking with emotion as he kisses the top of the baby’s head.

-

Harry had just had another failed date, defeated as he drags his feet back up to his room in the frat house to change out of his nice outfit.

There isn’t any reason he shouldn’t have feelings for the girl he was just out on a date with, she was pretty, smart, and they even went to the same yoga studio.

He thought it was going good, he even agreed to go back to her apartment with her but when they were watch some dumb romantic comedy and her hand went to rub at him through his pants - nothing happened.

Harry felt defeated as he made up some bullshit excuse that he was tired from all the work-outs and games, that’s the only reason he couldn’t get it up.

But in reality, it was because there wasn’t a connection with the girl and he didn’t feel like he could even create one with her.

This had been his reality for his full life, he’s ashamed to admit when he got home from that date - he laid in bed and cried because he didn’t think that he would ever find someone who he could be close to, let alone be in a relationship with.

-

Now he was sitting here with the love of his life and their baby - something he truly had believed may never happen for him.

YN brings him back to reality when she reaches over to stroke his cheek, concerned in her eyes at how much he’s crying.

“M’okay,” Harry laughs quietly, a bit embarrassed as he kisses the palm of his wife’s hand, “I just..I’ve never been happier than I am right now.”

YN smiles back at him, tired and loving, “I’ve never been happier either.”

“Just you, me, and Easton,” Harry murmurs adoringly as he kisses his son’s head, “I’ll never need anything else but you two. Only thing that matters to me.”

-

💕

#mlb!verse #mlbrry #mlb!harry masterlist #mlb!harry #mlb harry #harry styles writing #harry styles #harry styles masterlist #harry styles fic rec #harry styles x reader #harry styles fluff #harry styles x you #harry styles x y/n #harry styles angst #harry styles smut #dad!harry #dad harry styles #husband!harry #harry styles husband #kofi commission #harry styles writing request #harry styles imagine #one shot harry styles #harry styles au #harry styles drabble #harry’s house #erodasfishtacos #erodasfishtacos masterlist #major league baseball #update

[magicalbats]

Kinktober Day 3: Hate Sex

Rating: R-18+

Word Count: 4563

Warnings: Afab!reader, virgin! Diluc, brat taming, dubious consent, themes of sexual repression, a slight hint of misogyny/slut shaming, creampie

A/N: I took detail inspiration for this reader from the electro Cicin Mage, so that's about the gist of what we're wearing here 🤤

⭐

The air in Fontaine carries with it the ever present smell of cloying salt, seaweed, and decaying things. No matter how far away from the beaches one goes, that scent will always follow them and Diluc can’t seem to decide if he hates it or not. He thinks he does. It’s quite different from the air in Mondstadt, where the wind was somehow always fresh and clean, and vaguely scented of apples. Even with the walled off city situated in the center of a giant lake he couldn’t ever recall smelling anything quite like this before, and that nostalgic thought makes him wish for home. But, on the other hand, it wasn’t necessarily a bad smell in the strictest sense either. Just different. 

He almost wished he could say the same about you. That you were just different and not necessarily a giant, regrettable pain in his behind that he could — would rather do without. But he is not nearly as willing to give you the benefit of the doubt, nor half as forgiving. He knows he hates you like he knows the back of his own hand. Didn’t even need to stop and think about it. He just knew. 

Because even if you weren’t Fatui scum, even if you weren’t Snezhnayan by birth and guilty by association, that still left you holding the title of most frustrating person he’s ever had the unfortunate displeasure of meeting. You were incessantly talkative, headstrong and more than a little crass at times. You liked to gloat and take from his provisions when you thought he wasn’t looking, liked to tease him and then get lippy about it when he snapped back. 

Had he not been working towards the greater goal of infiltrating the Fatui undetected so he could eventually reach their inner circle, he would have long since slain you where you stood. 

Diluc knows he can’t do that just yet though. Not now, or he’d be risking everything he’d worked and obsessively toiled over to accomplish. It was only you and him out on this remote stretch of Fontaine’s rolling hillsides, after all. The two of you had been tasked with a mission so simple and benign that it would have looked incredibly suspicious if you suddenly went missing out of the blue. All evidence would conclusively point to him and he’d have blown his cover for nothing more than a few short days of peaceful, glorious silence before the Tsaritsa’s hounds were hot on his heels and hungry for blood. 

Oh, but wasn’t it just so tempting to think about? 

“And do you know what she had the nerve to say next? She tried to say I was the problem! I couldn’t even believe it! I mean, she started it so don’t you think that’s a little messed up to try and turn it back around on me like that?” 

Heaving a weary, long suffering sigh through his nose, Diluc tries very hard to ignore you. It’s been hours spent ignoring you though; he’s not even sure how you can still manage to find something to talk about given that you’ve touched on every conceivable topic he can possibly imagine, and he isn’t sure how much longer he can endure it. The trek out into the countryside should have only taken about half a day but it felt more like years had gone by since you’d set off together from the port, as if time itself had slowed to a near standstill. 

But if you notice the stiff, deeply bothered way he holds his shoulders, you don’t acknowledge it. You certainly don’t let it dissuade you from prattling on and on, nor do you let his lack of a response stop you either. If he didn’t know any better, he would have almost thought he was traveling with a hyperactive toddler rather than the grown woman walking about two paces behind him. 

“Of course I wasn’t going to let that stop me. It’s not like she’s my mother or anything, and we weren’t even that close to begin with. It didn’t bother me one bit, but the drill sergeant still punished both of us for causing a scene. Oh, and another thing,” You huff, the tone of your voice abruptly taking on a sharp, fine tuned point. “Don’t you think it’s rude not to listen when someone is talking to you? I thought that was the first rule of common decency.” 

“Unfortunately I don’t think it’s possible to tune you out. Trust me, I’ve tried.” He grits, his leather gloves creaking softly when he clenches his hands into tight fists as his sides. “And I’m afraid you’re hardly in any position to talk about the common decency of others. What a joke.” 

You outright guffaw as if he’d offended you, and a petty little part of him sorely hopes he did. “What is that supposed to mean?” 

Finally giving in to the urge, Diluc pivots on his heel and spins around so fast his long ponytail goes flying and you nearly walk right into him. He’s aware he’s tempting fate with this, dominant fingers itching badly to reach for the broadsword strapped across his back, but his patience was long past the point of caring. If he didn’t find a way to shut you up soon, he was very likely going to do something he’d later regret. 

But even after having him aggressively round on you, not only much bigger but physically stronger too, you still don’t seem to get it. Something in your head must not work right because you just narrow your eyes up at him in petulant challenge. “Am I supposed to be scared of you or something?” 

“You probably should be.” 

“Hah! Maybe in your dreams!” 

Drawing a slow, deep breath, Diluc forces himself to count to ten. It does absolutely nothing to cool the flames licking at his chest, making him feel hot and ready to burst. “I suggest you quit being such a brat and actually pay attention to what’s going on around you. This isn’t going to end well if you persist.” 

“Sorry, pretty boy, but I don’t take orders from you.” Stepping forward, you viciously bring your foot down on the toe of his boot and grind your heel in for good measure. 

He hisses, less at the pain and more at the fresh surge of anger that swells in him, but you clearly don’t understand the difference. Looking really quite pleased with yourself, you pull back and move to step around him like that would really be the end of it. He almost couldn’t believe the gall you had. 

“Now, if you would be so kind as to get your ass in gear, we can — waagh!” 

Whipping around, Diluc grabs the back of your hood and jerks you back so hard it takes you right off your feet. He watches you collapse in an inelegant heap on the ground, blinking owlishly at suddenly finding yourself sitting in the grass, but he can’t quite bring himself to feel any sympathy for you. He’d wanted to avoid it coming to this out of respect for the fact you were a woman not even half his size and without even a fraction of his physical strength, but you’d just kept pushing him. You could have stopped. Should have stopped, and now you only had yourself to blame for your current predicament. 

“Wha - how dare you! How dare you put your hands on me like that!” You twist to look up at him from your spot at his feet, trembling slightly with what he thinks must be impotent rage. That was well enough but it wouldn’t do you any good now. Not when he was so incensed he could practically feel his fists igniting, growing hotter with the urge to be done with you once and for all. 

“When we get back I’ll be telling everyone how you treated me! And filing a report too! We’ll see how big and tough you are then won’t we, hotshot?” 

Slowly, Diluc cocks his head to one side. “What makes you think you’ll be making it back from this?” 

You go very still, so abruptly it’s as if someone had taken a photo of you and then superimposed it over reality. He watches the uncertainty and fear slowly start to dawn, comprehension clicking somewhere in that empty skull of yours, but it was much too late. 

Your hand jerks to grab hold of your catalyst where it’s secured at your hip but he’s quicker. Easily, he slaps it right out of your grasping fingers and he isn’t sure if he finds more satisfaction in watching it skim over the grass some few feet away or the horrified look on your face. You try to rally the power of your Delusion anyway but without a physical conduit to channel it through all you manage to do is summon a few impotent sparks around you, and he puts an end to that quickly enough. 

Swooping down, he snags your wrists in his hands and shoves you down on your back. The bodily thump of impact seems to punch the air out of your lungs, making you gasp harshly up at him, but he’s already got you pinned. Trapped, with no way out. Slowly sinking down onto his knees to straddle your thighs, Diluc leans over you so he can put his face in yours and you glare daggers at him, bright eyes alight from within with a wild, powerless heat. 

Looking at you up close like this, he thinks you might have been pretty if only you were not so damned incorrigible. 

“I advised you to stop.” He intones, low and dangerous. “You didn’t listen.” 

“I don’t have to listen to you!” All but hissing and spitting, you violently twist underneath him in an attempt to dislodge him from his perch. It’s no use though. The difference in size is far too great, and he must’ve had at least a hundred pounds in pure muscle mass on you. It was obvious you were at a sore disadvantage here but, still, you try to fight him. Still, you refused to stop. 

The little bit of self control he’d been desperately fighting to maintain shatters, and Diluc aggressively shoves you into the ground, hard. You choke on a frantic, incomprehensible animal sound and flail underneath him, kicking your legs out to try and somehow shove him off or twist your way free. Growling, he drops his pelvis against yours, intending to use his weight to pin you down, but the intense heat between your legs freezes him in place. You feel it too; the tight press against your core, the weight of him in his pants digging into you, and you likewise go still as a statue. 

For a long, tortuous beat, the two of you just stare at each other, panting hard from the exertion as much as the flood of high strung emotions.  

“Was this what you were hoping for all along?” You finally manage to get out with no shortage of effort.

“Don’t flatter yourself.” That’s what he says and yet he doesn’t move. Can’t seem to find the strength or presence of mind to do so. 

Diluc had never before found himself between a woman's legs like this and there was something horribly inviting about the soft cradle of your body, the way his narrow hips slot so nicely into place between them. The cushion of your feminine curves is a welcome relief against his own hard, muscle heavy frame, and he feels a sharp stab of shameful embarrassment when his cock begins to stir against his will. Filling out and stiffening, it instinctively reaches out in search of that overwhelming source of heat coming off you. 

Your eyes go big and round, flashing at him in disbelief and anger alike. “Get off me.” You hiss. 

“Why should I?” He snaps right back, unable to decide which he hated more. The thought of standing his ground, actually seeing this through to the end, or backing off and letting you think you’d somehow won. He should have known better than to be so headstrong and impulsive. 

“Bastard … unless you’re actually going to do something with this,” You buck your hips and pointedly roll your body against him, grinding yourself on that heavy bulge. “Then you need to back off. I don’t know who you think you are but - -“ 

Snarling, Diluc slams his mouth against yours just to shut you up. You let out a muffled squawk of surprise, evidently not having expected him to actually call your bluff, and he takes advantage of that to shove his tongue into your mouth, practically choking you with it. Struggling against him, you try to bite him but he just bites back in retaliation, and the kiss quickly becomes something that’s more teeth than lips. He isn’t quite sure what he’s doing or why he’s doing it, but his body seems to move with a purpose of its own. 

Juggling his hold on your wrists to one hand — it was easy to do when his were so much bigger than yours — he keeps them pinned down in the grass while the other reaches up to fumble with the strap across his chest. He manages to yank it loose so that the claymore slides off his back and he quickly shoves it to the side, well out of reach, before you can try anything enterprising. Then that hand is grabbing at your waist, squeezing tight enough to make you whimper against his mouth, before roughly dragging it higher to curve over the swell of one breast. He doesn’t miss the way you flinch at the contact but he also doesn’t overlook how you shudderingly arch into him, presenting your breasts to his seeking hand. 

He hadn’t exactly expected that but somehow it comes as a great relief all the same. It was clear to him now that he wasn’t going to back down no matter how much you raised the stakes or flippantly dared him to do it, whether for his own pride or this instinctive urge he felt to put you in your place …and knowing you were perhaps not so unwilling would help him feel better about this. Whatever this was. 

Suddenly tearing your mouth from his while he’s distracted with your chest, you turn your head and suck in a ragged, gasping breath of air. “I didn’t take you for the sort … I thought for sure you were going to blush like a fool and change your mind.” You pant, laughter dancing in your voice. “You always act so prim and proper, like you’re so much better than everyone else.” 

His annoyance starting to spike again, Diluc reaches up to grab you face in a pinching, ironclad hold and he yanks you back around, forcing you to look up at him. “That’s because I am.” 

Your eyes widen slightly but he doesn’t give you the chance to think of something cute to say back. Firmly holding you in place, he claims your mouth again and this time you all but melt into him, aggressively kissing him back as your legs lock around his hips. You meet him tit for tat, matching his energy and giving him exactly what he gives you. For every punishing bite of his teeth, you nip him right back until the bitter taste of blood floods his tongue. For every eager, grinding thrust of his pelvis you roll your body into his and press up hard on the weight in his slacks. You’re evenly matched in this regard, it seemed; and eventually, reluctantly, he releases your wrists. 

Hands flying up, you viciously grab at his hair, one set of fingers digging into his scalp while the other latches onto his ponytail and tugs. He snarls into your mouth and, to his surprise, you growl right back. Spurned on, Diluc blindly reaches down to yank at your top, shoving your sleek jacket aside so he can pull at the flimsy material keeping your breasts from him. They spill out in a sudden flood of fleshy, bountiful skin but he barely has enough time to even acknowledge this fact, let alone appreciate it. 

For your hands are wildly tearing at his own jacket, his own collar, and he grimaces at the quiet snap of latches and hooks giving out under the force. He can’t help but feel like he’s losing, somehow. Like against all the odds stacked against you, you’ve managed to one up him by meeting him head on like this. He thinks this game of chicken probably ended some time ago and now you were just a woman and a man battling it out for dominance, clashing in the deep rooted, primal way the sexes have always clashed, but he wanted so badly to best you. To put you in your place and remind you which one of you was truly in control here. 

It certainly wasn’t you and, growling low in his throat, Diluc pulls back with a decisive motion so he can grab at the lower half of your tight bodysuit. He can’t figure out how to get it off without taking the time to completely undress you though. It’s too complicated, too many snaps and hooks. Completely ignoring your gasping protests, he takes two big handfuls of the form fitting material and tears it open at the crotch. The smell of charred, burning fibers immediately hits his nose and he has to remind himself to keep his Vision under control as you yelp and squawk, loudly complaining about having your outfit not only ripped but singed too. 

In any other situation he would have been deeply embarrassed at losing control like that, about letting his self control slip enough to allow flames to lick along his fingertips, but not now. Not when he’s looking down at your cute, pudgy little cunt; so soft and inviting, and glistening faintly in the sunlight. Feeling light headed and dizzy, and like he’s having some kind of out of body experience while someone else dictates his actions, he reaches down to free his straining cock with quick, jerky motions. 

Distantly, he’s aware of you hemming and hawing, and he thinks you’re probably trying to (rightfully) tell him off for being such a brute about it. He can’t seem to stop though and, guiding himself in one hand, he quickly lines up with your body and starts to push inside. You go ramrod stiff at the press of his tip sinking into your folds and creases, sliding along sticky wet lips until he catches at your entrance. The heat is immediately overwhelming and indescribable, his mouth falling open to groan but nothing comes out. It’s hard just to breathe when the profound sensation of having his cock gripped by the tight, wet warmth of your body seems to overload all his senses and short circuit his brain all at once. Suddenly all he can focus on is the way you take him, inch by staggering inch, the fit snug but accommodating when your cunt slowly relents under the pressure and grants him entry. It’s unlike anything he’s ever felt before, the backs of his eyes stinging as he finally finishes pressing his pelvis into yours, seated in you straight down to the base. 

The sound of you groaning softly, as if in a hushed, half delirious daze, brings him back to the moment. Forces his reeling consciousness to return, and he looks down at you, spread open for him in the grass. You don’t seem to really even notice or care that your tits are hanging out in the open for anyone who might happen by to see (there hasn’t been another soul for miles now) or that your legs are shamelessly spread wide around his waist without so much as a hint of shame to show for it (not that you could have closed them even if you’d want to) and that strikes a particularly resentful chord within him. 

Archons, he really did hate you. He’d thought women were supposed to be prone to subtlety, demure restraint and timid reservation when engaging with a man like this and yet … here you are, arching under him like a whore and impatiently bucking your hips, urging him to move. It was filthy. Disgraceful. Lurid in a way that made him feel dirty by association. 

And he’d never been so turned on in all his life. 

A deep, rumbling moan vibrates through his chest as he leans over you, pressing his face into the sweat-dampened crook of your neck. He tries to catch his breath, tries to ignore the way your guts eagerly squeeze around his cock as if you were trying to milk the soul right out of him, and he fails miserably on both fronts. Digging his fingers into the soil and grass in an attempt to steady himself, he draws a heavy, shaking breath. 

“You’d better not misinterpret this as me liking you.” He grumbles, giving his hips an experimental thrust. All he seems to succeed in doing is rocking against you though, his cock wedged so deep inside your cunt it would have taken a miracle to pull him out. 

“Funny. I was just thinking the same thing.” You sigh, dreamy and distant, and not nearly as affected by this as he’d (hoped?) expected you to be. 

Realizing he’s going to have to move in earnest if he wants to change that, Diluc shifts against you to better settle on his knees and give himself the leverage he needed. You moan very quietly at the redistribution of his weight, only to choke on an incoherent exclamation when he angles his cock back, luxuriating in the stilted drag, and the following snap of his hips. The force of the thrust nudges you where you’re laying on the ground, and he can tell by the way your expression pinches and darkens that you like it. So he does it again and then again, quickly settling into a rhythm that leaves him panting over top of you, groaning at the mind numbing squeeze of your body. 

The quiet sound of skin slapping against skin seems to dominate the air on this lonely little stretch of picturesque mountains and hills, serving as an efficient beat to time his thrusts to. He loses himself in it, lets it swallow him up and drown him in a way he’s never quite allowed himself to get swept up in anything else. So focused on driving his cock into you, he almost misses you reaching up for his ponytail only to snarl low in his chest when you suddenly jerk on it, pulling his attention down. So much for that idea, then. 

“Your mind is wandering.” It’s a statement, not a question. 

“Unlike you,” He manages to grit out. “I have a sense of propriety and I’m trying to imagine doing this somewhere a bit more appropriate.” 

The grin that cuts across your face is a little mean, but mostly full of mischief. “I don’t buy that for one second, hotshot. It’s all you can do just to stop yourself from blowing right here and now, isn’t it?” 

Diluc’s once (relatively) steady thrusts falter, surprise washing over him and turning his cheeks hot. “Crass woman.” He murmurs, bending close to catch your mouth again — to shut you up, he tells himself. Strictly just to shut up. 

Of course it wasn’t because he enjoyed the taste of you on his tongue, nor did he really find having sex with you all that exciting. It was just his body reacting as it was naturally inclined to do and nothing more. 

That’s why he slips a hand between his body and yours so he can fondle your breasts with his gloved hand, but he certainly doesn’t like the way your stiff nipples slip and slide against the smooth material. That’s why he doesn’t stop you when, mewling with an increased tinge of urgency, you reach down to rub hasty circles over the apex of your slit, and he most assuredly does not enjoy watching you play with yourself or the way it makes your guts clamp down on him even tighter. It’s why he fucks into you faster, harder, as if his hips have a mind of their own, and they quickly start to stumble over the rhythm he’d fallen into, but he doesn’t find much joy in the way his balls tighten and draw up, so close to the edge he could practically taste it. 

It’s just a means to an end, he tries desperately to tell himself, even as he throws his head back and practically roars up at the sky, shooting rope after hot rope deep into your waiting cunt. You let out a tiny little yelp of surprise and then moan so luridly it sends another rush of orgasmic bliss racing down his spine to settle there. For a brief moment he worries he’s going to pass out, the force of his release was just that strong, and the way you tighten your legs around his waist to hold him there, keeping him in place, so you can grind on him and frantically rub your clit doesn’t help him in the slightest. Seething through his teeth at the overstimulation to his spent cock, he watches you shatter and jerk, falling into a fit of spasms that makes your tits jiggle and bounce. The sight alone is almost enough to have him springing up at attention again but he quickly disengages himself from you before that can come to fruition when you finally loosen your hold on him a moment later. 

Shifting back to survey the damage, he’s immediately hit with an intense, suffocating sense of regret when he sees the creamy discharge slowly oozing out of your body in a sticky rivulet. “I shouldn’t have done that.” He blurts, the sincere note of apology in his voice surprising even him. 

“You probably shouldn’t have.” You agree, still basking in the afterglow of your release and evidently quite content there in the grass. “But what’s done is done. I’ll take care of it later.” 

“When?” He demands, his tone hardening enough to make you glance up. 

With a wicked smile, you lift one leg into the air and reach down under your thigh to press your fingers into the meat of your pussy, pulling yourself open just to further taunt him. “If you’re so worried about it then why don’t you come clean up this mess you made yourself? It shouldn’t be my responsibility just because you can’t control yourself.” 

His face flushing profusely, Diluc quickly finds his feet and sets about putting himself in order with sharp, jerky motions. Strangely though, that blinding anger he’d felt not even twenty minutes ago seems to have dissipated in the lingering haze of his orgasm, and he curses under his breath. Apparently you were going to live to see another day. “You are truly the most filthy, incorrigible woman I have ever seen. I really can’t stand you.” 

You snicker as he turns away, lilting voice trailing after him when he moves to retrieve his sword from the ground. “Believe me, the feeling is resoundingly mutual.”

⭐

Crossposted: here

#genshin impact #diluc ragnvindr #diluc x reader #self insert bullshit

[crusty-chronicles]

The Moon and Sun (Big Sib Reader x Gon/Killua)

Ch 11: From Bad To Worse

Synopsis: Things just keep getting worse and worse the further you descend into the NGL. And one final push from an unrelenting group of Chimera Ants finally causes Y/n to lose it. Will they be able to keep going after this slip up.

------------------------------------------------------

"Hurry, this way!" Your voice was commanding as you made a sharp turn to the left. The others skidded behind you at the sudden change in direction before following suit. Your pace was decent enough for the three of them to keep up.

It felt akin to following a bloodhound when it caught the scent it was looking for.

Except the trail you were following was one of fear and malice.

The deeper you descended into the NGL, the stronger those emotions were felt. You were trying to follow the most recent ones in the hopes of coming across a Chimera Ant.

So far, no luck.

"It's safe for us to assume that the Chimera Ants have taken full control of the NGL'S interior," Kite said, En picking up the same things your ability had.

"The only question now is whether we can reach the nest before the queen has a chance to give birth to the king."

"If we're lucky, we'll find an ant that'll take us right to her. We just need to time it right." You had once again changed directions. A new feeling of bloodlust showing up on your radar a few miles away.

If you were all quick enough, you'd probably get there before sundown. And hopefully, whatever that thing was would stay there.

You never really showcased your ability like this before, so seeing it in action was something completely different. It felt a little strange to the two boys trailing behind you. You, who had always hung back and offered the occasional guidance, were more serious than ever. More focused than they'd ever seen you.

It made them realize they hadn't known you as well as they thought.

--------------------------

Ghost towns

That would probably be the best descriptor for what you were seeing.

Every village you all stumbled upon was deserted. Signs of a struggle evident, but no blood. It was like they'd been abandoned for years. Or like something scared them out.

No people

Not even any farm animals.

Not a single trace of life.

The current village you entered was no different. You'd been so sure that something was here. That you'd stumble across what was causing all these people to vanish. The bloodlust here had been brand-new, so to find nothing......

You let the boys investigate further with Kite, but you already knew they wouldn't find a damn thing. At least nothing living. Seems this village got hit harder than the others, though.

Windows and doors smashed to pieces. Houses collapsed and the rubble from them scattered.

"Nobody's in here." Gon observed from outside a broken home.

"Anything, Y/n?" Kite called out. Perhaps you'd sensed something he hadn't.

"No. I can't feel anyone. We must've missed it by a few hours." You responded.

Damnit. At this rate, you'd never reach the queen.

"We should still keep searching. Maybe someone left behind a clue?" Gon suggested.

"Be my guest, but there's nothing here." No point in giving false hope. So you waited in the center of the village for them to finish.

But you were wrong about them finding something. Gon, with his enhanced five senses, had picked up on a repulsive scent.

"Hey, something smells bad." He pointed in the direction of a stable a good meter away.

"It's coming from over there."

Begrudgingly, you followed after them towards the smell.

Oh

You knew this one.

The unmistakable stench of rot and decay.

You tensed up at the sight of dried blood leading from each stable towards the forest. It was a rusty brown, meaning that it had been a few hours since the attack.

You didn't need your ability to tell you that everyone was now on edge. Worried about what would be found at the end of this bloody trail.

As long as it was dried, it wouldn't soak into your paper-thin shoes. It wouldn't stick to your skin. It wouldn't shake you up as much. But that didn't mean you were fine.

You don't quite remember how you became this squeamish. There had been a time where it didn't bother you. A time where you were desensitized to the splatters that littered your body.

That kid was long gone now. Their innocence towards the world was gone.

In their place, a coward who couldn't even stand the sight of a drop of blood. Who knew that this much caked onto the floor meant death.

No, you were not at all fine.

But you would push through.

For them.

For her.

---------------------------

You were an idiot for not closing your eyes this time. You supposed it had to do with the stress of everything intensifying. The pressure to find the queen before any more people died. The choice of using your senses instead of eyes to guide you was forgotten.

As you reached the end of the trail, and the scent of rot became its strongest, you were met with several horses skewered on the tops of trees. Blood leaking down and pooling underneath.

A feeling of shock from the others before you doubled over gagging. Coughing and clutching at your mouth, willing the vile building up not to spew out.

Drip

Drip

Drip

The stench of copper mixing with decay. Filling your nose and reaching down to strangle your throat.

What monster would do this?

Deface the dead and use them as trophies.

The beating of your heart in your ears was too loud for you to hear anything else. Your previous focus completely gone.

You made the mistake of looking up again and couldn't stop your body's visceral reaction. Your stomach finally spilling its contents onto the forest floor.

You weren't the only one disturbed by the sight in front of you. You also weren't the only one grossed out by the smell either.

But you were the only one who had reacted so strongly to it. You were more kept together than you had been on Greed Island, but it was enough to cause concern for both boys.

Killua being the one to try and stabilize you when you started wobbling on your feet.

"Why'd you look at it if you know you can't handle blood, you idiot!?!"

You could only continue to dry heave in response. The trembling of your body increasing.

It was a damn shame. You were not prepared mentally for this. And as much as Kite didn't want to admit it, you'd only slow them down if you continued.

Useful as your ability was, there was no point in forcing you to use it if something as tame as this was enough to make you crumble. You wouldn't be able to handle what was in store for the future.

You would get hurt.

And those boys would be reckless on your behalf.

"Think happy thoughts, yeah? Oh! Your best friend. The one with the bullet that never misses. Tell us about him." Gon was on your other side, trying to come up with anything that would distract you from the sight.

"We're not friends. Don't get it twisted. We're rivals, ya hear!"

"Whatever you say Deshin... BestFriendSaysWhat?"

"What? Dang it!"

"He was *cough* a total tool. And he *cough cough* could never-" you froze as your senses momentarily returned to you.

There was something lurking.

Watching the three of you.

And there was two of them.

You turned around quickly, clutching your stomach for dear life. You hobbled one step closer to the underbrush and pointed.

"Quit hiding *cough* like a coward and come *gag* out!"

You were hanging on by a thread at this point. But if you could prevent an ambush, then your limits would just have to hear it.

Gon and Killua tensed next to you, glaring as a figure neared the edge of the clearing.

"Hey!" The being rumbled.

But it wasn't a human that emerged from the forest. Far from it. The creature looked like an amalgamation of animals pieced together.

Phagogenesis was it?

You could faintly feel shock from the others. You shouldn't have let this thing fly past your radar. You shouldn't have let it get this close, presence concealed or not. And if you hadn't been so discombobulated, you'd have sensed it sooner. Both of them that is, but you weren't in any condition to warm them of the other one at the moment. Your poor stomach was still queasy.

"What?" Pure confusion in Gon's tone, trying to figure out just what this creature was.

"What the hell is that thing!?!" Killua exclaimed right after.

Both of them taking a protective stance from besides you. The hostility from their aura growing. All while a certain silver haired hunter watched on, analysing the unfolding situation at hand.

It's presence had been concealed, and yet...

You were able to sense it. You were struggling to stand, but you were able to pinpoint the Chimera Ant's location whereas Kite couldn't feel a thing.

What would have happened if you didn't sense this creature when you did?

Your ability was precise. Practiced to a T. Whatever training you had undergone was either incredibly harsh or incredibly time consuming. Perhaps both. His thoughts were cut short by the ant speaking up.

"Filthy scum! Keep away from my damn prey!" It bellowed before charging forward. Bloodlust oozing from its aura.

You didn't have any time to react, your brain and body still lagging behind. All you could do was stare with unfocused eyes as the ant set it's sights on you.

A fist making harsh contact against your abdomen. The force sending you back against one of the trees. With a final choked out gasp, you were able to regain some of your focus. The pain temporarily grounding you from the gore above.

Your eyes widened as you saw the creature lunge for Gon next. He stood still, shaking at the thought that you hadn't been fast enough this time.

You'd actually gotten hit.

But that was quickly proven to be a fluke as you rebounded with a speed so fast, it looked like you'd never been knocked back in the first place.

The arm extending towards him stood no chance against your instantaneous reaction. Your leg lifted up, then slammed down with a force that shook the ground.

A sickening crack reverberating throughout the forest.

You stumbled back as the pain processed in the Ants head, a screech ringing out a few moments later.

"Damn, didn't mean to do that." You'd meant to stop that thing from attacking your kid, but not to break its arm. Its very splintered and purpling arm.

Even if you did mean to kick the appendage away, you never meant to use that much force. You were never supposed to use that much. But you weren't exactly all here right now. A slip up was bound to happen with the way your mental state had just deteriorated.

Still, you felt bad for the poor thing.

"YOU BASTARD! I'LL KILL YOU!!!"

The Chimera Ant once again changed towards you. A scream of your name from the two boys before you were enveloped in another protective presence.

Kite stood in front of you, effectively blocking off the Ant's access. His aura was strong, tougher or just as tough as Razor's. The stance he took left no openings for an attack. His entire demeanor intense and intimidating.

Silently challenging the creature to make its move.

It all disappeared in an instant as he turned slightly to address you.

"Are you hurt?"

You shook your head.

"No, this thing is weak. I was just caught off guard is all."

You didn't really feel the punch from earlier. You've had much, much worse. If anything, you were just a smidge sore. These things probably had body armor.

"Can you walk?"

"Yeah. I'm fine... Physically I'm fine."

"Good. Follow me."

Your face scrunched up at his instruction, but you trailed behind nonetheless. You figured he must've had an idea. For what exactly, you couldn't tell.

At least not until he led you towards the area where Gon and Killua had grouped up. Both relieved to see you were okay. The ant, however, was getting impatient.

Good, your ability was working again.

"Now Gon and Killua, this one is all yours. Take care of him."

So that was his plan.

You turned and gave him a small glare, opening your mouth and then closing it. Right, he was supposed to be mentoring them. But was now really the best time?

Sure the ant was barley an inconvenience, but c'mon. Your boys were shell shocked. They were probably just as discombobulated as you had been.

Sensing the apprehension in your aura start to rise, Kite explained his reasoning for the suggestion.

"That's a Chimera Ant soldier. There are bound to be plenty more like him from here on out. I won't be able to rescue you during combat like Y/n did. If you can't defeat him, go home."

It was harsh, but like always, Kite was right. If they couldn't beat something as weak as this, they'd be in immense danger here. You were already stumbling around as it was. Hell, you'd probably have to leave soon yourself.

"You'll just be in my way."

But that part was a little unnecessary. Don't baby them Y/n.

You could sense determination and confidence once again surge through them. As if they had just gotten a newfound purpose. There was a spark of defiance too. And if you knew your boys.....

A surge of aura poured out from them, strong and assured. The strength combining with the sheer amount of power made them visible without using your ability.

"I've already told you Kite-" Gon started.

"We're both professionals, too." Killua finished for him.

Their resolve became unbreakable as they approached the ant.

"So don't treat us like kids!"

You elbowed the taller male next to you, expression smug as he met your gaze. You threw a wink before shouting after them.

"C'mon boys, this thing's chump change! You can beat it easy without breaking a sweat! And if you can't, then I'll be very disappointed!"

Their aura seemed to grow stronger at your words.

"Right, we won't let you down, Y/n." Gon assured.

"Yeah, so just sit tight and focus on getting better, eye bags." Killua added.

You'd get him back for that one. For now, you were content to sit back and watch what happened. You had no doubt in your mind that they would win. Your own wave of confidence radiating from you.

And the reaction was a little amusing for Kite despite the circumstances.

The boys didn't want to be treated like kids, and yet they had let you baby them without much complaint. Wanting you to pick them up and coddle them. Thriving at your words of affirmation.

They loved you, that much was obvious. They also seemed to hold the highest level of respect for you. Trusting in your abilities and fully aware of your limits. Deathly protective too, as he was starting to learn from the little glares Killua would give when he thought Kite wasn't looking.

Then there was you who had temporarily caught him off guard twice now.

You'd broken that creature's arm like it was nothing. Not an ounce of nen coating your leg. It was just pure strength. And Kite was briefly reminded of when he had hit both boys away from the smaller ant nest.

You could have done that to him.

You probably could have done worse.

But you held back. You were still holding back. For whatever reason, you were restricting yourself physically. Like you were afraid.

'I didn't mean to do that.' What did you mean to do? What were you capable of doing?

Seems he was wrong about his previous assessment though. You could hold your own perfectly fine. However, he was unsure if letting you push yourself over your limits was the right call.

The battle began soon after, with Gon and Killua charging forward towards the Chimera Ant. Their first round of blows deflected and useless against its body armor. Both being tossed to the side like nothing.

But you had a feeling the tables would turn soon. Afterall, a creature this weak could never cause them any real damage. Not like Razor's spike and sure as hell not like Genthru's Little Flower ability.

You were quickly proven correct as Gon went in for another punch. The ant dodged and slammed its good arm against his back, temporarily winding him. Killua used its distracted attention to his advantage, jumping above the ant and summoning his nen into his hand.

Aura spiking impossibly strong as now lightning enveloped his palm. The ant looked up in shock before being electrocuted by Killua's attack.

"Thunderbolt!" Killua shouted as the electricity made contact with the Chimera Ant. The sky lighting up in a blue hue while the creature itself was unable to move. Shocks coursing through its body and leaving it dazed when all was said and done.

A feeling of amazement from Kite while you were practically beaming with pride. So much so you gripped onto the taller male's shoulders and shook him around in excitement.

"THAT'S MY BOY!" Your words of praise causing the small assassin to turn his head towards you and beam right back.

"Show me rock!" The sound of Gon's voice had you looking over in his direction.

A familiar spike of aura covering his fist. The fiery nen building up to its strongest before he struck the still dazed ant.

"Jan-Ken-Rock!"

The force from his punch sent the Chimera Ant flying in the air. Your feeling of pride swelling even more.

"THAT'S MY OTHER BOY!" You exclaimed shaking Kite again, all while pointing excitedly towards Gon.

The boy in question ducked his head down with a sheepish smile. You really were starting to sound like a parent now, and it felt nice for a change. He supposed if it was you, then being babied wouldn't be all that embarrassing.

All four of you were caught off guard as a second Chimera Ant dashed from the tree line after the first. Picking it up with its talons and taking off.

"Crap. Forgot about that one." You mumbled.

"You sensed that one too?" Kite asked, eyeing the two ants soaring away.

"Yeah, but I kinda forgot about it with everything going on."

That and there was clearly a difference between the two of them. The first ant had oozed bloodlust. The hostility radiating off made it a priority. The other ant had felt neutral. No outward desire of hurting you four. No intention of protecting its friend either.

It was just a spectator. And it didn't seem to be very strong either. It probably could have attacked when you were distracted, but it didn't. Something felt off about that one. Your thoughts were cut short by a screech so powerful, it created turbulence.

"YOU LITTLE BASTARDS! I'M GONNA EAT YOU!!!"

You quickly moved in front of the boys, shielding them from the force of its shrieks. The ant noticed you and seemed to get angrier.

"YOU!!! I'M GONNA TEAR YOU LIMB FROM LIMB AND SKIN YOU WHILE YOU'RE STILL ALIVE FOR WHAT YOU DID TO ME!"

You glared back at it, unwavering. Your expression unamused. Not only was this thing weak, but so were its threats. You'd definitely heard worse than that.

"I SWEAR ON MY LIFE, YOU'RE ALL DEAD! YOU HEAR MEEEEE!"

It may have been an insect, but it was more human than you had anticipated. And while you were sure killing one of these things didn't go against your previous oath, it still didn't feel right. They could think and feel, albeit evil thoughts and emotions, like people. Blood was blood, and you wouldn't be spilling any if you could help it.

You directed your attention back to the boys who you could feel starting to panic. Eyes never leaving the sky the ants had fled away in. Defeat was also radiating from them. Like they had failed.

They did fine, at least in your book. And before you could reassure them, Kite spoke up.

"It's because that one's smart." It was as if he knew exactly what they were thinking because as soon as the words left his lips, they both started to relax.

"He just let his lackey in to fight so that we would tip our hand."

They may have let the enemy get away, but you were right all along. These boys were strong. Inexperienced, but strong. They would get a chance to hone in their abilities here. It was no wonder you had so much faith in them. You weren't a pushover either, but something was holding you back.

What interesting company he had found himself in the midst of.

"Are you coming?"

He could feel surprise from the two boys and relief from you.

"See? You two did okay, so don't worry about it," You reassured.

Killua relaxed completely from your words while Gon looked back at Kite unsure. It seemed to catch the silver haired hunter off guard for a second. Expectant honey colored eyes wanting a bit of praise. You were a little grateful it wasn't you on the opposite end of that stare for once.

However, the reason why it wasn't had your expression softening a bit. Kite was someone who'd known Ging personally. Who had his full respect. And Gon had made it very clear the last thing he wanted was to disappoint his father. Which meant he also didn't want to disappoint Kite, because while he wasn't him, he was the closest thing Gon had at the moment.

You knew Killua would take a while to get there. To accept another person into his small circle yet again. But it was only a matter of time before he would give his trust too.

"Hey, don't be so disappointed. Your attacks just now, they weren't that bad," Kite assured, effectively making the boy in green beam up at him. He really did look a lot like his father.

He could feel slight irritation bubble up from your aura. If he knew you, there was a retort going something like, 'Not bad? My boys were incredible. Did you see how far they sent that thing in the air,' on the tip of your tongue.

He wouldn't admit it, at least not here, but he found your protectiveness towards them endearing. So willing to defend them, even over words. Yes, they loved you, but you absolutely cherished them. And before you could give the retort itching to chew him out, he quickly made his point. Maybe he was starting to find that temper of yours endearing too.

"You just need a bit more experience, that's all. If you wanna get stronger, this is a perfect opportunity."

And once again the thought of something bad happening to your little family went through his mind. The boys could get stronger here, yes, but they could also get hurt. You could get hurt protecting them, or from being distracted by your 'condition.'

How many times had he already asked to make sure you three wanted to go through with this?

Did it matter if he asked once more?

"If you aren't prepared, you won't be able to endure the ordeal. From here on out, in victory or defeat, it'll be hell."

And it completely blindsighted him, what happened next.

"Language!" The duo scolded.

It was as if they completely disregarded his warning. Did they really not care, or perhaps...

At the sound of your laughter he turned his head. You were clutching your stomach and wiping away a stray tear.

"I have never been more proud in my life!"

Oh

It made sense now.

You and your habits were starting to rub off. And it once again cemented the idea that the boys really were just kids. Tough as hell, but kids nonetheless.

He could see why you were deathly attached to those boys. And why they had clung to you so effortlessly.

You were doing a great job raising them so far.

"Oh and you bet your sweet bippy we're still in! You're stuck with us, so don't bother trying to scare us off now!" You looked triumphant as you spoke.

A certain confidence radiating off you. Looking at the boys besides you, he could tell they felt the exact same.

Where one went, the other two were bound to follow.

Your bright smile faltered at a jest from Killua.

"You say the most bizarre things. Are you sure you're twenty something? You sound like you're eighty-five."

"I do not, you little ghoul! It's called an 'expression.' Maybe you just need to spice up your vocabulary."

"I've got a few words in mind."

"What was that?"

"Guys stop. You're gonna scare Kite," Gon lectured, stepping between you and the small assassin.

"He's a big boy, he can take it. Ain't that right, Cinderella?" Your tone was teasing as you addressed him.

"Whatever this is," he made a gesture between you and Killua. "Do not rope me into."

You threw your head back and let out another bark of laughter while Killua stuck his tongue out at Kite.

The boy in green quickly bonking the back of his head with a "Be nice!"

It was then that Kite realized he was slowly being integrated into your small family.

For better or worse, he couldn't say yet.

-------------------------

"Hey, Y/n. I thought you said you weren't a fighter," Gon said after a bit of walking.

You all decided to tread a bit more carefully after the encounter with those Chimera Ants. Which unfortunately meant going a little slower.

"I said I didn't fight, not that I couldn't." You responded.

"Why don't you? It'd be a lot more helpful if you did," Killua asked.

"It's complicated..." You hesitated for a moment.

Was now really the time to talk about it? You couldn't sense any incoming danger. The feeling of malice not as intense in this area.

Maybe just this once.

You couldn't hide things from them forever.

"...When you make a promise to a friend, you keep it. No matter what. And when I was little, I swore I would never fight or kill another human being again."

An alarm bell rang out in Killua's head. 'Again.' What did you mean by that? Why did you say 'again?' Like you had done it before. It didn't make sense, you hated blood. Hell you were freaking out 30 minutes ago.

But why was it starting to make sense. Your ability was tracking, people specifically. Why had you needed to learn that?

You'd mentioned something about perfecting your nen at five years old. Were you killing that young? It would explain why you never made a noise while you slept.

Was that why you were unfazed when he told you he was an assassin?

Because you knew what it was like?

No. You couldn't be. Assassins killed for money to make a living. And you had nothing as far as he knew. They were also raised to be heartless.

You were not heartless.

Even if you were like him, did it really matter?

No

No it did not.

Because who you were now was the person who kept him and Gon safe. Who fussed over the little things but never underestimated them. And whatever you were at five or even a little older than that shouldn't have mattered.

You were Y/n with nothing after or any of those messy labels in front.

However, the promise you made was against humans, not ants. You didn't have to hold back against these things. You didn't have to worry about an actual person.

"But the Chimera Ants aren't human."

"But they act human. They feel human."

Right, because you could sense them. It was hard to remember sometimes that you could feel everything around you. Could you feel his earlier apprehension?

"You defended Gon, though." Killua argued. He just couldn't see the issue when you had already 'fought.'

"It goes a little something like this, okay? If I need to step in, I'll step in to protect the ones closest to me. Which at the moment is you two." Your eyes momentarily softened as you turned around to face everybody.

You were never a fan of leading.

"But promise or not, I don't like hurting people or anything that resembles a person. I don't like fighting and the damage that comes with it. I don't like spilling blood or feeling it on me. I despise taking lives and those who enjoy doing so."

More things were starting to fall in place for Kite as he listened to you. It made a little more sense now why you were holding back. Why you had sworn on your nen. It made him respect you that much more. To make such a meaningful promise at such a young age and to keep it well into adulthood. To value your morals regardless of what the limits you placed on yourself dictated.

He didn't like killing either, not doing so unless absolutely necessary. And even when his hand was forced, most were pointless. Only happening because of the fault of someone else. Like the foxbear that had attacked Gon all those years ago.

The boy didn't know, but it was something that should have been avoided.

Now you and your morals were different. You didn't fight, which was news to him. He thought you hung back because you trusted in the boys' strength. And when you'd broken that creature's arm, it looked very much intentional. But now it made sense.

'I didn't mean to do that.'

You didn't mean to engage like that. You did not mean to break its arm. To cause that much damage. You probably meant to stop it the same way you stopped him back in the Aizan Continent.

Give a warning with no real bite to it.

You didn't kill, or at least hadn't in some while. Meaning you'd disarmed people successfully and either knocked them out or stopped flights from happening altogether.

And his instincts told him it was the latter.

Your resolve and cold glare made a lot more sense now. Your uninterested but intimidating demeanor made sense.

You were done fighting in the NGL. You'd proven enough, so long as you could find the Chimera Ant queen, Kite and the boys would do all the heavy lifting. He wouldn't force you to add another pointless kill to your credit.

But as noble as your words sounded, you knew they were from a place of selfishness. If you fought, you would lose your nen, which was why it was a last resort. If you saw blood, you would panic and become useless. If you killed, it meant you were just like them.

Fear was why you didn't fight. A fear to save your own skin and keep the consequences from it at bay.

You were not a good person.

And if you had said that out loud, the one who would disagree the most would be Gon.

Because right now, he was staring up at you with nothing but admiration. The cause for it wasn't just your stance on fighting, it was your reasoning for doing so.

He loved you for keeping your word to your friend. To potentially value it over your life. No matter the disadvantage it put you in.

And he was sure you loved him and Killua back from the way you went against it to keep them safe.

It meant you valued them just as much as you valued that promise you've probably kept for years. They were just as important.

Gon didn't like it either, when people would kill and feel no remorse for it. He also didn't like when others had no compassion for their friends in battle. He didn't like death to be what determined the end of a fight. A life should never be what settled it.

However, these things weren't human. They most likely wouldn't have the same values. But you held them to the same ones regardless. And he admired you for that.

You didn't need to push yourself anymore. He and Killua would take care of the ants. And if they couldn't, then they would get Kite to help. He did seem to really like you after all. He said he wouldn't help any of you, but the moment you were in danger, he had stepped up without hesitation.

It was funny in a way, how Killua thought you wouldn't care about them just because of a small crush. If the way you had been so proud of them was anything to go by, then they would be just fine.

You deserved to have someone look after you the same way you did them. You deserved someone who could make you just as happy as you made them.

And by Gon's standards, Kite was a decent fit. At least for now, but he'd be watching. Not with as much scrutiny as Killua, but watching nonetheless.

----------------

Your steps faltered as the stench of decay once again reached your nose. It must've been the fifth massacre you've come across today. After the third time you emptied your stomach's contents, you opted for wandering around with your eyes closed. Meaning, Kite was the one now leading with you and the boys following. Occasionally asking for your input when he wasn't sure which trail to go after.

He was also surprisingly understanding and sweet during the ordeal. You figured after his 'You'll just be in my way' comment he would have pushed for you to leave.

Instead he had offered you water.

"You'll dehydrate at this rate. And right now, we need you focused. We can't risk being caught off guard again. Take small sips, we'll refill at the next lake."

He had let you take breaks and gather yourself before moving on. An air of professionalism and worry combined was the way you would describe it.

You were sure the sun had long set by now. Everything was quiet. Eerily so now that you couldn't feel any people. The silence being interrupted by an out loud observation from Kite.

"This is horrible...We could have found them by the stench."

The question of 'why' rang out in your head.

Why kill all these people and leave them there?

You thought the ants only killed for food. To feed the queen.

So why were they just leaving the bodies here?

No

Why were they mutilating them?

You'd given up on using your little spy glass to see. It was all the same anyways. Broken homes, blood, and Chimera Ant tracks that ended up leading to nowhere. And now that bodies were in the mix, the things that would potentially be highlighted would take an even bigger mental toll on whoever saw it. You were sure of that.

The boys were becoming desensitized as it was. No more shock or anger from them anymore. Just dread as the number of casualties increased. This new group of deceased certainly wasn't helping their case.

And by the smell of it, this might've been the worst all four of you had come across.

"Look at this," Killua called out.

There was a sound of something clanky being picked up. Guns if you had to guess. Loaded ones at that.

"So I guess this is the hidden side of the NGL, huh?"

"That's right," Kite confirmed.

It was just as you predicted: crime bosses. Or at least their guards. You hoped their death was quick and not as barbaric as the first body you came across.

"Scratch that one off the bingo card," you muttered.

Knowing your luck, you would indeed come across drugged up ants wielding weapons.

How fun.

"Guys!" Gon's voice snapped you from your thoughts.

You faced the direction his voice was coming from. He seemed further up than the rest of you. Distant but not out of reach. There was probably a sturdy cliff in front.

"You're gonna want to see this."

Sure enough, you were met with rock. Goddamnit. Climbing would be a struggle in your current condition.

But you had scaled up a crater before. It shouldn't be that bad as long as you focused your nen towards your feet and hands.

"You need help?" Killua's voice sounded from next to you.

"I should be fine as long as I'm not caught off guard. Don't worry about me, okay?"

You could feel uncertainty from him despite your reassurance.

"Okay. But you should know, there's a few bodies on the way up."

Your mood soured instantly.

"Of course there is. Damn," you grumbled.

Nothing was going to go your way today, was it?

When you got out of here, the first thing you would do is drown away your sorrows with a pile of sweets and take the longest nap of your life. You deserved that much for all the shit the NGL was putting you through.

"We unfortunately don't have much time to spare."

It was a brief warning from the silver haired hunter before you felt yourself being hoisted up.

You flailed slightly at the unexpected contact. Almost opening your eyes from the shock. You could faintly hear a 'Hey! You can't just pick them up like that!!!' from Killua as hands guided your arms around something.

Was that his neck???

"What're you doing?" There was a slight panic in your tone.

He wouldn't.

There's no way.

"Assisting you up. The way you are now, you won't even make it halfway without slipping. The last thing we need right now is for someone to get injured."

Crass as his words were, there was no denying the concern that littered his aura. Whether it was for you or about completing the expedition, you couldn't really tell.

You tensed once more feeling him move. The wind hitting your face let you know he was moving up quickly. Killua's aura trailing behind as Gon's became closer.

"Relax. If you let go, I won't pick you back up."

It was a warning with no real intention to follow through. And you were briefly reminded that he could once again see you. That he could probably sense just about everything going on in your head.

Your disgust. Your panic. Your ever growing hatred for the NGL. But most of all-

How drained you'd become since that first body.

How your focus started wavering until you just about lost it completely.

And you hated how small it made you feel. The position he'd chosen to carry you in didn't help. Bridal style like you were some fragile little thing. Both of those combined had caused you to verbalize your frustrations.

"I'm not a baby, you ass. I could have made my way up by myself."

But despite your aggravation, Kite's demeanor shifted into something a little softer.

"Like I said, we can't afford to waste anymore time if we can help it. Besides, you're struggling enough as it is."

All of your frustrations seemed to have vanished for a minute, surprised by the softness of his tone.

Why did he care?

Why was he worried about you?

Why had he gone through the trouble of helping you so much?

And why did it have your heart beating a little faster in your chest because of it?

No

Nononono

You were not

You couldn't be

You weren't

You weren't

You refused to believe

But the tightness in your chest and the longing in your aura begged to differ.

You liked Kite

A lot more than you should've.

And the second he set you down, you put a bit of distance between you. Now was not the time to be having these kinds of revelations. The ants came first.

The boys safety came first.

You felt Killua's aura join shortly after. A small hand gripped yours tightly. And if your eyes had been open, you would have seen the upset expression on the small assassin's face. You also would have seen a brow raise at your sudden discomfort from Gon.

He temporarily brushed it off. He'd ask you about it later, for now...

He pointed towards a group of buildings made of rock. Dozens of little lit up windows scattered throughout.

"Is this the place where the Chimera Ants nest?" He asked.

"No, it's not. They don't normally dig holes like this. They build their nests with mud and droppings."

You had forgotten Kite was Beast Hunter. He was in his complete element here, being able to use his previous knowledge to his complete advantage.

So whatever these structures were, (that you could not see at the moment) they were probably manmade. And since you couldn't feel any people...

You shook your head as to rid the thought from your brain. If you kept thinking like that you were gonna break down.

"Let's go, we'll see when we're inside." Kite instructed.

For the first time in years, a feeling of dread washed over you.

Something bad was going to happen. Something so horrible that your body was struggling to prepare you for it.

----------------------

You let your eyes adjust to the dimness of the building before continuing forward. You figured most of the henchmen had been killed outside, meaning there shouldn't be any bodies for you to worry about here.

You should be able to focus for now.

Lacking your previous drive, you were left trailing behind the boys. Your mind justifying it was better this way. Kite would be able to sense any danger in front and you would sense what was in back.

But even that did little to soothe your growing anxiety towards the situation.

Your previous 100 meter radius had dwindled down to around 60 with your mental and physical fatigue. It was okay, but not good enough.

"Now, we don't know when or from where they'll strike, so don't let your guard down. And try not to let what you may see affect you."

You knew that warning was meant for the boys, however, it felt like that last part was directed towards you. Which you appreciated, but it wouldn't really help all that much.

Especially not with goosebumps rising on your arms. And why exactly? You didn't know. Maybe it had something to do with why the air was suddenly thicker in here. Why the atmosphere felt a little more sinister than it should've.

"Yeah, you don't have to worry. We understand," Killua assured.

"The other Chimera Ant completely concealed his presence."

And the small assassin quickly remembered that you sensed that one too. You could see what they couldn't and if you weren't so freaked out by blood, you would have been able to warn them.

So this might be their only chance to search for anything before you caught sight of another bloodied body.

"Can you feel anyone, Y/n?" Killua asked.

You stood still for a second and allowed your ability to search. There were three blimps of life right next to you. One jittery, one dark, and another calm. All being overcome by a feeling of unease.

You focused your eyes a little further than that. Five more little sparks standing still. As if waiting.

"I'm getting five. But I can't tell if they're people or ants." You answered at last.

They were also far enough that you couldn't get a proper read on their strength. However, you could still read what they were feeling.

"Just five? Are you sure?" Gon questioned, instinctively inching towards you.

You nodded.

"Two of them are extremely scared. They feel...."

Broken

Like they had their humanity stripped away from them. An emptiness with a carnal fear. A want for the pain to stop.

You did not like this feeling. It felt icky and dark. So incredibly gross it made you want to turn around.

Could it be possible the ants were torturing people?

But why?

The potential reason made a sick feeling settle in your stomach.

"Y/n?" A worried call of your name before a small hand reached for yours.

You looked down and were met with honey colored eyes full of concern. It would do no good scaring him with what you just sensed. The best thing right now was to keep moving forward and hope you'd made a faulty assessment. (But you've never been wrong before.)

"We should get moving... Just remember whatever happens here, it's not your fault."

'It's not your fault if you can't save everyone' was what you meant to say. Because while you could physically help those two people, you couldn't help them live past what they'd already experienced. And the more you stood in one place, the harder it was to keep your mind from coming up with gruesome scenarios of what was about to happen.

So you moved forward, two pairs of worried eyes following you. Both trying to take in your words.

"It's not your fault."

A statement usually meant for comfort that had somehow sounded more foreboding than anything. Rather than relax them, one felt panicked. The other anxious.

"Keep moving." Kite instructed, having sensed the duo starting to lag behind.

Although harsh, the words gave them the encouragement to snap out of it and rush after you. Yet they both couldn't shake the same question from their minds.

What exactly had you sensed?

------------------------

You entered what you assumed was the center of the large structure. Various boxes and broken chemical vats scattered throughout. Safe to assume this was the drug factory. Maybe the two auras you sensed were just druggies on a bad trip?

There was also dried blood splattered here and there. You tried to ignore the queasy feeling once again building up in your stomach. You thought you would have desensitized some by now. Guess you overestimated yourself.

"Wait a minute, is this-" Gon started. Having realized just what the giant vats might've been used for.

"Yes. This is the dark underbelly of the NGL," Kite answered.

On the bright side, the ants had gotten rid of a major crime boss.

Yeah, no. There was no bright side. This country was just a terrible mess from the beginning and you were starting to doubt even coming at all.

"It's a drug factory," Killua surmised.

"Yeah, so don't be picking up what you're not supposed to. Got it, gremlin?" You warned.

The last thing you wanted for your boys to get sick messing around with what they shouldn't have.

And while Killua normally would have given you pushback to get on your nerves, right now he was relieved. You were still looking after them. Still fussing over them and making a big deal out of nothing.

You were still okay, or as okay as you could be right now. You were still here.

"I won't. Geez, you'd think me and Gon were babies from the way you treat us." He mumbled out the last part, but he could tell you heard it from the small flick you gave to his forehead.

"What type of drug did you say was manufactured here? It's not like crack is it?" You addressed the silver haired hunter who almost lost his composure from your bluntness.

"It's a type of pill called DD and it's mass produced right here," Kite started to explain before elaborating further.

"The hottest new drug on the mainland. It's made from bira trees. There must be a field close by. Ironic given their status as conservationist, right?"

"Not surprising considering how they ran things back at the border. The people in charge don't give a damn what happens here as long as it makes them money." You responded.

It was just the way things were. The rich and powerful taking advantage of the unaware poor and weak. You had known the minute you stepped foot here what things would be like.

"They're making more than just drugs. Look," Killua called out.

"They're the same ones from earlier." He picked up what looked like another automatic. The sight made you frown as another unwanted memory bubbled up to the surface.

"So how does that ability of yours work, cookies and cream?"

"Quit calling me that, gap tooth! And it works by my nen locking onto a target before I fire. Then I manipulate the ammo to follow after. The result: a bullet that never misses!"

"So how come there's holes everywhere except the bullseye?"

"Shut up!"

You hadn't thought about him in a long time. But considering his entire ability revolved around guns, it made perfect sense.

You hoped he was doing well.

"If I had to hazard a guess, I'd say only the leaders of the NGL know the truth," Kite speculated.

"The other community members probably genuinely identify with the environmental message."

"To a cultish degree if they were so willing to execute people over it," you added.

Again, execute, if you may emphasize. Not give a warning or arrest. Execution.

You blamed it on a mob mentality. Of which had ostracized you as a child.

Didn't mean you couldn't respect them for living this way though. It truly was admirable to willingly live isolated from the world.

"This facility, it's the core of the NGL underground, isn't it? So if there isn't anybody in here besides those five 'people' then..." Killua started.

"That would suggest that the Chimera Ants have completely wiped out the underground, excluding a few stragglers. And that a bunch of amateurs with guns didn't stand a chance against them." Kite answered.

It was at that moment you started to sense movement. The five blips of aura slowly starting to approach.

"But what about their boss?" Gon asked.

"He either escaped or was eaten. Either way this is bad news." Kite shrugged off before tensing.

Something was coming this way.

Something that reeked of both bloodlust and fear.

Was this what you sensed when the four of you first arrived? It was no wonder why all your energy had drained in one go.

He held a hand up to signal silence from the boys as the enemy approached.

You also brought your guard back up, meeting his eye and nodding. A silent confirmation that you'd both sensed whatever heading this way wasn't good.

"They're slowly approaching through the middle tunnel." Kite's voice was low as he spoke. Trying not to alert the enemy to your presence just yet.

You stalked forward, footsteps so silent it was like you weren't there. Try as you might though, you couldn't slow your rapidly beating heart. You were too consumed in the ickiness of those auras to try.

You couldn't help but notice they were more spread out than you had originally thought. Three in the middle with the other two separated on either side.

Your mouth grew dry as the anxiety from the presences besides you flared.

"There are more in the left and right tunnels." Kite informed the boys.

And you were very much grateful for it because right now, you didn't think you could speak through your focus. Your eyes searching the darkness for any potential attack. Not wanting to be unguarded again like with the first ant.

"What's your approximate search radius? Is it as good as Y/n's?" Killua questioned Kite.

If there was a chance, even a small one that you'd get a break, it was best to take it. He didn't like seeing you so drained and fidgety.

He didn't want you to keep forcing yourself.

"Unfortunately not. My radius is everything within 45 meters." The silver haired hunter answered.

"Forty-five? So a little less than half of theirs." Gon concluded.

To be fair, you were working with about 60 right now. It would probably dwindle down to zero by the end of the night.

"But depending on my mental and physical state, I'm able to increase that by a few meters... Here they come."

On cue, a sort of rattling sound filled the space. Along with whimpers and cries. The feeling of fear skyrocketing as a figure made its way into the light.

You couldn't tell if you verbalized your horror or not. If you'd let out a gasp or noise of terror. But you did know that you immediately extended your arm outward to prevent the boys from moving forward.

To try and shield them from the sight.

The auras that had been so broken, so devoid of humanity, so driven to the brink of insanity, belonged to humans. Two humans stripped of everything but the skin on their backs.

Two humans being treated like slaves.

Like animals.

Bound by their necks to another monster trailing behind them.

You could tell you were shaking as they inched forward on their hands and knees. You own eyes wide and panicked. Trying to wake you from whatever nightmare your mind conjured up this time.

Because this

This couldn't be real.

"Keep it down you two!" The Chimera Ant lectured before yanking the chain that bound two humans up, effectively choking them.

You needed to get out of here.

You needed to leave.

This was a mistake.

"Who the hell are you?"

Had that thing barley noticed you four?

"How dare you intrude on my turf!"

Your unoccupied hand clenched.

"Help us!!! You gotta help us!!!" One of the men begged.

"Shut your damn mouth, Spot! You're a dog remember!?!?"

You saw the ant lifting it's front hoove up. You turned your head and covered your ears as fast as you could.

The resounding 'crunch' being muffled for you.

This was a mistake.

You felt Gon's aura spike with a horrified disbelief. He shouldn't have to see this.

They both shouldn't be here.

"Oops. I didn't mean to do that." It chuckled out. Shaking its leg to rid it of the gore.

Its words mirroring your earlier ones.

The only difference was, this thing felt no remorse at all for its actions. It felt proud.

"Well whatever. I was getting bored with them anyway. Guess I'll get rid of Rover here, too."

At that you snapped your head up, unable to do anything but watch as the other man tried to plead for his life. To play desperately the part he was given in the hopes he would be spared.

"When you beg like that... It just makes me wanna kill you even more."

The ant went to raise it's hoove up once more. And knowing what was about to happen, both you and Gon tried to jump forward.

"NO DONT!"

"STOP!"

But the both of you were pulled back by Kite. Who admittedly had to use a little more force with you to keep you from leaving.

"Let me go!" Gon struggled against the grip on his wrist.

You, however, had kept still the moment he touched you. You'd been a fool just now. And like always, Kite had made the right decision. You shouldn't have been so careless. You didn't know what these new ants were capable of, and you weren't in any state to do anything about the current situation.

Your judgement had been clouded by your own fear. Your own desperation to prevent another death from happening in front of you.

You were such a disgrace.

"Don't move carelessly. There's more than one enemy here. And they want you to rush toward them." Kite lectured.

If you were in your right state of mind, you would have thanked him for being so levelheaded. For being able to step in before you and Gon had gotten hurt acting recklessly. For being able to explain 'why' and effectively stopping Gon's struggling.

But before you could start calming yourself down, you heard something.

Laughter.

Joyous, sinister laughter.

So loud and boisterous it bounced off the cave walls.

Your head hung low, but even though you couldn't see them, you could feel two more auras approach. Both as evil as the first.

"Now, bye-bye," The first ant cooed down to its captive.

"HELP ME!"

You flinched at the sound of bone breaking. The force being too much for the skull under it, sending specks of blood your way.

"Don't look away!" Kite's harsh words were directed at Gon, who was also having trouble stomaching the sight in front of him.

"If they shoot, you won't be able to see the projectile."

And even though you agreed with his reasoning, you disagreed about it being applied to the boys.

They shouldn't have to be forced to see this.

They were just kids.

They shouldn't have to be desensitized to dead bodies. They shouldn't be used to feeling nothing at the sight in front of them.

Your entire body had started shaking. But something about your reaction was different this time. It wasn't nausea coursing through your veins, but anger.

So much disgust riddled with rage that you trembled to keep your body at bay.

You promised.

You promised.

But all your sympathy and restraint had vanished along with the man's life in front of you.

Don't do it.

Because if you did, then it was all over.

If you lost control of your aura again, this new life you were starting to live would be over.

Endure it.

Endure the neverending feeling of bloodlust.

Endure the fact that this was all real and these monsters had committed an irredeemable act of violence.

Endure the pain from your palms being inflicted by your own nails in an attempt to keep your last shred of sanity.

"Why can't we let them live? Why can't we just leave?"

"Because Father said so. You know better than anyone else we can't hesitate. We have to finish the job we were given."

A harsh stomp combined with a booming crunch as blood poured from what once was someone's head.

"You've become soft, Y/n."

But all the young child could focus on was the never ending stream of crimson that inched towards them. Briefly touching the tips of their boots before they jumped back. As if touched by fire.

You remembered now.

Why you despised the sight of blood.

Your shaky figure did not go unnoticed by the silver haired hunter.

Who felt every bit of your inner turmoil radiate off you.

Unfortunately, there was nothing any of you could do to save that man. He was a goner from the start. And now that you had completely lost all your focus, he would need to step up for the boys. Just while you were temporarily out of commission.

And then you would need to leave. This was clearly too much for you. You'd done enough. You'd gotten them this far.

"I've decided," The head ant started.

"From now on, you four are all gonna be my new dogs."

It was at that moment you finally broke. All warmth, all barriers that had been broken down were gone. The tired circles under your eyes worse than they had ever been.

But it was your eyes themselves that had changed drastically. They were cold. So unbelievably dark and devoid of the brightness they once possessed.

So numb and empty.

"They've always been aggressive, but consuming malicious humans has had an effect on them. And it's made them even more evil." Kite explained.

And while both boys tensed even more at the news, you didn't react. Didn't nod in agreement or move. Just stared down with that empty look and hands clenched by your side.

"What do you mean?" Gon asked.

"Phagogenesis, right?" Killua responded.

"If we don't deal with them here, there's no telling how many more people will be killed."

The three auras next to you increased in output, becoming defensive.

They were going to fight, weren't they?

"Go! Capture them!" The head ant commanded its lackies.

You shouldn't be here.

It was dangerous.

"I'll take the one in the back. The ones rushing at us will go to you two. Y/n, it's best you stay back for now." Kite ordered.

The thought crossed your mind that he was doing a great job stepping into the mentor role. But it was drowned out by your more panicky thoughts. The ones that were begging you to leave while you still had some semblance of control.

But you couldn't just leave Gon and Killua here. You couldn't just run away and hope for the best. You couldn't be a coward.

You had to see this through.

Just for a little while longer.

Both boys spared a worried glance towards you. Wanting to stay by your side until they were sure you were okay. However, the Chimera Ants charging towards them made that idea impossible.

So reluctantly, both agreed to Kite's terms.

"Okay. Make sure nothing happens to them."

It was a light warning from Gon. Because while he trusted the silver haired hunter, he didn't trust the ants. They didn't play fair, and right now, you weren't all there to see their tricks. He didn't want to see you get hurt.

"Right, but you better keep them safe."

And Killua decided this would be his test. If Kite could protect you, then he would stop heckling him. Your happiness meant a lot, but your safety meant even more. If this guy could do that much, then he was alright in the small assassin's book.

"Don't hesitate. Fight to kill." A last warning from Kite as the boys charged forward and lead the ants away.

At that, you finally raised your head up to assess the situation. Killua had moved to the left, a mosquito type creature following after him. Gon was to the right alongside what you guessed was a different type of bug Chimera Ant. Most likely a centipede given all the arms it had. In front of you was some centaur-esque creature. Glaring you and Kite down with anticipation. (Your mind creating a mental blockage around the two broken bodies.)

You needed a distraction right now. Watching the boys fight should do the trick. It should be able to help ground you. So you took a deep breath and got into a comfortable crouching position. One that helped clear your head when you were smaller.

The taller male eyed you from his peripheral but said nothing. You were standing down, but not letting up your guard. You should be fine.

You directed your attention to Gon. Watching as the ant gave a barrage of punches, each being blocked by a more skilled Gon. And when the creature went to give its signature attack, it was left confused as the boy vanished. Only for him to reappear and give a punch of his own to its spine.

And like Kite instructed, Gon didn't hesitate. He summoned nen into his fist, charging up his attack.

A shriek of laughter grabbed your attention from the other side of the factory. The mosquito ant was taking dives around Killua, using the ability to fly to its advantage.

You felt Killua's aura darken. Becoming intense and threatening as the ant went to charge in again. Its arms being ripped to shreds by his quick movements and augmented hand.

Killua kept at it, destroying it's limbs up to the shoulder. His speed and precision causing a visual distortion that made his arms resemble snakes.

You would have been proud if you were in the right state of mind.

The ant retaliated by shooting out a stinger from its mouth. Killua dodged it easily, but wasn't in the clear quite yet. With him distracted, the ant shot out a second stinger from behind, piercing his back.

The ant cheered triumphantly as he fell.

But you still felt Killua's aura going strong. And you knew he was immune to poison thanks to his batshit crazy family.

So it didn't surprise you when he leapt back up and twisted the Ant's neck around. You flinched at the sound. It surprised you momentarily when the ant kept talking. Like it didn't just have its neck snapped.

These things really weren't human, were they?

Making sure to finish what he started, Killua once again manipulated his hand and made one slash towards the Ant's head.

Blue blood sprayed out this time.

You might be able to stomach that.

Killua turned to you, expecting a 'Good job, gremlin!' Instead he was met with cold eyes that shifted direction back towards Gon.

You always praised them after a fight.

You always cheered them on.

So what was this?

This emptiness in your eyes that felt a little too similar to the ones on Greed Island when he asked about that girl.

You needed space and time to think. Then you'd be back to your old self.

Right?

The centaur ant taunted its living subordinate, making a feeling of unease consume it. The ant stood still, as if in thought. Then a new feeling of confidence came from it.

Your view quickly became obscure by the head ant who radiated the most bloodlust. Kite's aura shifted into something protective from next to you as the ant approached.

"Hey, we should get this started soon, huh? Since clearly one of you has nothing better to do."

Seems you were also sensing cockiness.

"Wait a little longer," Kite dismissed. You figured he was also invested in how the fights between the boys would go.

"Screw that! It's not like either of you have a choice anyway!" It bellowed.

"You're in my way. Move...or I'll make you suffer." You at last lifted your head up to address the ant. Your warning causing the creature to meet your glare.

And in your eyes he saw himself die a thousand times over. A thousand ways you would torture him before letting him perish. The eyes of a killer, of a predator that knew its prey stood no chance.

But the thing that scared him the most was your scent. Imbedded in your very being was the stench of blood. He had heard his comrade, Hagya, say once that a true predator, a true threat would have killed so much that the stench of blood would have stained their very soul.

If Hagya was right, then you were a very dangerous Rare. But Yuunju was not a feeble weakling. He would defeat you and make you his new dog. Maybe sick you on your friends for even putting the thought that he should be scared of you in his head.

"You don't scare me!"

"Would you like me to?"

Your cold eyes pierced its very soul. It took a step back as you stood up. You disappeared and reappeared behind the creature, situating yourself back down between the starting fight and Gon's.

He held his breath as you spoke.

"Don't get in my way again. You're not worth breaking the promise I've kept for 13 years."

Yuunju could not beat you. He knew that now. You were too dangerous for even the strongest squadron leaders. But-

If he could kill one of your companions, that might scare you enough to let down your guard. He might be able to have an opening. The question was, who should he kill?

The answer was obvious and right in front of him.

"You," The creature pointed its finger at Kite.

"Will be my opponent. Now, let me see what you've got!"

Kite had watched your exchange with the Chimera Ant with a small frown on his face. He knew you could be intimidating. He witnessed it firsthand along with the cold resolve in your eyes.

But this...

This was not you.

Your presence had never been this cruel. It had never felt so dark.

You were not a malicious person, but right now your demeanor alone had put the fear of god into that Chimera Ant.

He didn't like this.

He thought he didn't like it when you were upset, but right now... He would take that over whatever this was. He would take your snarky comments and cold shoulder any day if it meant he'd never get to see your eyes so devoid of their usual fire and mirth.

"Hurry up before I change my mind!"

Kite let out a tired sigh of his own at this Chimera Ant's persistence. He took a familiar fighting stance. The one he used during your first encounter with a Chimera Ant. Aura becoming something a little more intimidating.

"If you insist."

And you couldn't help but shift your attention towards them, especially when the ant started to radiate weariness. Besides, the other one was the weakest you'd come across today. Gon would be able to beat it easily.

If this was the best the Chimera Ants had, taking down the queen would be a walk in the park.

"Tell me, why are you here?" Kite questioned.

It probably was a good idea to probe these guys for answers. However, you doubt he would be able to get anything out of it. This thing seemed very stubborn and hotheaded. Not a great candidate for answers.

"Huh? This is my castle. A king doesn't need to have a reason to be in his own castle," The ant answered.

Some king it was. Being a little bitch and using brute force to steal a drug factory. Too weak to build up its own empire from scratch. Or perhaps lazy from the way it sent its lackeys to battle first.

"There are many chemicals here that emit strong odors. I would expect you'd want to avoid this place."

A fair point actually. Why would this thing stay in a place that was filled with hazardous materials? Risk inhaling something it shouldn't just for cover.

But if you were being realistic, it was probably because this place was abandoned before these ants got here. It probably let the others do all the work before taking over.

"Shut up! I happen to like it here!" The ant argued.

Liar

"Where's the leader of the NGL? What happened?"

"Beats me. I figure he's probably already inside the queen's belly."

The creature then let out amused laughter.

This thing was lucky it wasn't you who it was fighting.

"I'll build my own kingdom starting here. Then I'll take over the whole world!" The creature monologued.

How pathetic.

How funny actually. This thing couldn't even stare you in the eye, but it planned to take over the world?

Seems Kite was also fed up with this ant, judging by his next words.

"That's impossible for a vulgar bastard who likes to amuse himself by making humans into dogs."

Was that anger slowly rising to the surface? You didn't know he could get mad.

"Is that so?" The ant started.

"Well, you're right! I can't wait to strip you and your friend down and put collars around your necks!"

The creature rushed towards Kite, aiming a punch that was quickly dodged. The silver haired hunter jumping to the side. Taking precise steps back, looking completely unfazed by the ant's attempt.

"BASTARD!" The creature let out a growl before charging forward again.

This time using its hooves to attack. And like before, Kite easily evaded them. Dodging with a spin that gave him momentum to slam his leg against the Ant's head.

It caught you off guard how pretty he looked. How elegant and swift his movements were. Each step being calculated in such a way it almost looked like he was dancing. Silver hair swaying with his movements, making the sight all the more ethereal. It was such a stark contrast to the uncoordinated way the boys fought.

He truly was a beautiful fighter. His posture relaxed and yet it left no room for any openings. This ant was clearly no match for him. But it didn't seem to get that.

It tried to go in for another punch, only for Kite to use the extended arm to tip himself over. Landing directly on the centaur ant's back. It looked back at him dumbfounded. The shock being replaced by anger as Kite finally summoned his ability.

"Hey! Get down here!" Snapping out of its thoughts, the ant tried to swing once again.

It would never learn.

Kite stepped down and skidded slightly back. The little clown summoned from his nen glared at him.

"What is the deal!?!? You only summon me when you're in trouble! You'd better watch it!"

The way it moved around was almost cartoon-ish. Moving side to side and spinning in the air. It reminded you of the little trick you learned for her when you were smaller.

"I don't have time for idle chit chat. Just hurry it up," Kite dismissed. Like he was arguing with a child.

"You know what your problem is? You're too impatient!" Crazy Slots chastised before the numbers started rolling in its mouth.

"Are you messing with me!?!" The ant had grown tired of waiting around. Of seeing this mockery being thrown in his face during combat.

"Forget about making you my dog, I'm gonna kill you!" The ant charged forward one last time, intending to make it count.

"Four!"

"Really? That's a bad spin."

"What did you just say!?! I don't have any bad spins, ungrateful bastard!!!"

For the first time that night, you cracked a small smile. It was a little amusing that his own ability gave him shit. And that he argued back with it. No wonder he put up with you so well.

But your enjoyment had quickly ended as the ant closed in.

"YOU'RE DEAD!"

Kite aimed the carbine up and fired. The singular shot ringing through the cave. That was all it took as the Chimera Ant collapsed, a bullet going right through its skull.

You shuffled to the side to avoid the small droplets of blue blood that came your way.

It was just ink. Just squid ink. Nothing more, nothing less.

You looked up, meeting a very concerned look from Kite. You ignored it. You didn't need any sympathy. You turned your head back in Gon's direction who still hadn't made his move yet.

But he wasn't stalling. He was waiting for the ant to attack first. And attack it did. Leaping towards him with its arms outstretched before tucking the right side in.

But whatever it had planned, it couldn't have predicted Gon's next attack.

"Jan-Ken-Scissors!"

The nen bottled up in his fist outstretched into what looked like a sword. He clutched his wrist and slashed down, cutting the ant in half at an angle.

Your eyes widened at the new move. The furthest he got on Greed Island was paper. And even then, he couldn't seem to get it down. He must've barley thought to try this one out.

God what was he thinking!?!

What if it didn't work!!?!

Never one to stick to certainties, was he? But you'd throw him a bone. You were too tired to lecture right now. You were also dreading what came next. But it was for their own good.

You couldn't stay here any longer.

Like Killua, Gon was expecting you to jump up and either say how proud you were, or completely chew him out for trying a new attack in the middle of a fight.

He was expecting you to be you. What he was not expecting was for you to simply stand up and cross your arms. To look right past instead of at him. It was like you didn't care anymore.

He froze as he sensed movement from behind him.

It all happened so fast. The ordeal only lasting a minute. A minute that stretched into an eternity.

A loud shriek filled the air before it was cut short. The atmosphere in the air became impossibly thick. There was a 'thud' and the sound of the cement breaking before he mustered the courage to turn around.

Never had you looked so wrong. So not like yourself. But that wasn't the issue. You see, the problem was your aura that had been suppressed for so long, was finally pouring out.

The ant that tried to kill Gon just now, was under the heel of your shoe. It didn't even see you move towards it. Couldn't even fathom that the pain coursing through its body had been from you kicking it down with an unrestrained force. It was sure whatever was left of its spine was gone. Its head pinned beneath your foot, choking on whatever this feeling was that radiated off of you.

It was like nothing Gon and Killua had ever felt before. Worse than Hisoka during the Hunter Exam. Worse than anything Illumi could produce. Worse than the nen Razor summoned on Greed Island.

And it was coming from you.

This wasn't you.

This couldn't be you.

The person looking down at the Chimera Ant like it was beneath them. Like it was nothing. The cruelty behind your eyes made it impossible to tell it was you.

The force of your aura causing Gon to fall over and Killua to clutch at his neck. Both unable to fend off your Ren.

So evil it was actually suffocating them.

So dark that even with his own aura guarding him, Kite couldn't avoid the paralyzing effects.

And then you'd spoke.

Voice so harsh and unforgiving. Like you were mocking the creature beneath you.

"Would you like to see what your god looks like?"

'S M A S H'

Blue blood splattered all the way up to your knee. The warm liquid seeping into the thin fabric of your shoe. Touching your skin and pooling underneath the rest of the Ant's body as your aura swelled with an indescribable dark feeling.

"Don't pretend you don't enjoy it. I've seen you covered head to toe in crimson. You enjoy the feeling of blood on your skin. The way it seeps into your clothing and stains your hair. Having it caked onto you while presenting Father with your prize. Who are you trying to kid, little one?

You don't believe in mercy."

All at once the feeling disappeared. You looked down shakily at what you'd just done. The sound of your heart pounding in your ears the only thing you could hear as the ant twitched two more times before stilling. Dark blue spreading on the bottoms of your pant legs.

You fell back in a panic. Shuffling away on your hands and desperately kicking around your 'tainted' foot in the attempts to rid it of the soaked through shoe. Scooching back in a panic and mumbling 'Get it off! Get it off! Get it off!' like a mantra.

The blood wouldn't go away. It was stuck to you. Marking you and reminding you of what you just did. Staining your skin and following you in a murky trail.

A sick feeling settled in your stomach. Rising up and threatening to choke you. Your hands reached up and covered your mouth, tears brimming at the corners of your eyes as you willed the vile to go away. Pleading with your body to wake up. You'd seen enough.

Please just let this nightmare end already.

Please.

"Y/n?" Gon called out as he struggled to feet, finally being able to breathe after your Ren disappeared. Who didn't know what happened, but knew that you were not okay.

But even though you were looking directly at him, you didn't see him. All you could see was her. Brown eyes so light, they were almost gold. But they were filled with fear and uncertainty.

Having just witnessed you do the one thing you swore you'd never do again. Having felt the monsters you'd kept away from her. Because she wasn't like you. She shouldn't have seen you do that.

You didn't want her to stare at you with such disappointment and betrayal. A frown that told you she would never forgive you for this.

The eyes on your back were scorching. All of them watching you. Watching you crumble and disgrace their namesake.

Her figure approached you slowly and your mind went into a panic. You were not safe to be around. You'd hurt her. They would hurt her for being here when she wasn't supposed to.

"STAY AWAY!"

You'd made a swipe with your hand to stop her. To keep her back. But even though the darkness of your aura was gone, it was pouring out at an unregulated rate. Unable to stop it from applying to your movements.

Gon stood still in shock as the power from your unintentional slash approached. But before it could reach him, he was picked up and moved out of the way.

Kite had barely made it.

The ceiling and wall being sliced clean through. You would kill somebody at this rate. Somebody human. He realized now why you had been so adamant about holding back. About being scared of letting loose.

Because this was the result. Tonight had been too much for you. You'd finally reached your breaking point. He took a second to analyze your state.

You were breathing frantically with a purple hue covering your eyes. Your nen must've activated during your panic. Showing you something that they could not see. Perhaps altering your reality a bit.

That would explain why you lashed out at Gon. Because he knew that you would never attack either of those boys. You'd sooner die than do something like that.

But you weren't you right now.

"You two need to leave, now."

Both boys stared at him like they hadn't heard correctly. That what he just proposed was inconceivable.

"Are you kidding me!?!? No!!! We're not leaving them like this!!!" Killua protested.

Because even though he was scared, even though you had reminded him of his brother in that moment, he still loved you. And he wouldn't just abandon you because Kite said so.

"I don't care what you say! Y/n needs-!"

"Now!" It was the closest Kite had come to actually yelling at them.

And Gon hesitated before pulling Killua away. He wanted to help you, too. But the way you had looked at him, like you didn't recognize him, told him there was nothing they could do.

They needed to leave before you accidentally hurt them. But it wasn't because he was afraid of you. He would never fault you for something you had no control of at the moment. However, he knew that you would. You would never forgive yourself if you hurt them, even if it wasn't on purpose.

"Are you actually siding with him!?!" Killua struggled in Gon's grip, trying to turn around.

"Think. They don't recognize us right now. We're helping by not being in the way. How do you think they would feel if they accidentally hurt us?"

The small assassin had stopped struggling at once. Mulling over his best friend's words and knowing he was right. He gave one last look back before letting Gon guide him outside.

"Okay... But if he hurts them, I'll-"

"He won't. Believe it or not, Y/n isn't only important to us."

------------------------------------

The second the boys were out of ear shot, Kite turned to face you properly. You were going through some form of shock judging by the way you shook and backed yourself into a corner. This new side to you was also unrecognizable. Your fear came off from you in waves. Something you had never been up until now.

But just what was it that had frightened you to this point? The Chimera Ant almost getting Gon? No, that didn't seem likely with the way you were after restraining it.

Was it blood? Maybe seeing too much and actually feeling it on you had done it?

He'd give just about anything to know what was going on in that head of yours. For any clue that would help calm you down.

Unfortunately for you, Kite was not the best with these things.

Whenever one of his students was upset, it was usually the others that soothed them. His words could be cruel sometimes. Not coming out the way he would have liked, and they knew that. So he was never really sought after for comfort if something happened.

And the one time he tried, he ended up making it worse. Being nurturing was never really a necessity growing up, and living in that sewer for so many years only further stunted his emotional growth.

It was an understatement to say he had no idea how to approach you now. But he would try. It was better him than either of those boys who were more at risk of being accidentally hurt.

He took slow, heavy steps towards you. Trying his best to alert you to his presence to avoid frightening you more. But you didn't seem to hear them. And as he stood directly in front of you, you didn't seem to see him either.

Eyes still engulfed in your nen.

Touch might snap you out of it. Something real that you could focus on. Slowly, he started to extend his arm out to you. Willing you to take it and finally let your guard down.

However, the moment he reached out his hand to you, you flinched away and curled into yourself. Putting your arms in front of your face as if to shield yourself.

Like he was going to hit you.

"IM SORRY! I DIDN'T MEAN IT! I PROMISE!"

His heart broke for you in that moment. The action reminding him of his time out on the streets. Fending off blows from angry vendors just to be able to eat. Body so used to being beaten down it naturally contorted into a position that would leave it the least injured.

"I DIDN'T MEAN TO! I SWEAR! I SWEAR! PLEASE BELIEVE ME!"

But it was the frantic way you apologized that lead him to believe a very different conclusion about what happened to you.

Trying desperately to appease and look small.

Avoiding a punishment that would never happen.

So many broken pieces that just couldn't be put back together anymore. But he would try. And he sincerely hoped whoever did that to you was dead.

He crouched down to meet your huddled up form. Your eyes tightly closed and hands still up for protection. There were about two ways this could go. He would either successfully calm you down or be seriously injured trying.

He could make peace with both.

So as carefully as he could, he engulfed you in what he hoped was a comforting embrace. Immediately you had stilled. Your body tensing up but not lashing out.

Warmth was the first thing you were able to decipher. A warmth and light pressure that was overriding the fear little by little. Making your body start to lean into whatever had been wrapped around you. Craving the feeling and wanting more of it.

The next thing that hit you was a familiar scent you couldn't put your finger on just yet. The calming scent of a forest. Of pine and something a little sweeter. Something reminiscent of lilac. Your senses being flooded by the pleasant smell. One that your mind had perceived as comforting.

You took a deep breath twice before the nen around your eyes at last dispersed.

You were in the NGL. You were in the middle of a drug factory fighting ants. And one had almost killed your little brother. But you saved him.

And then you had gotten mad. So very mad at the fact that these things didn't have any sympathy. That they lacked feeling remorseful for their actions and how even though they were beat, still insisted on causing harm. Their bloodlust so unrelenting it had drained you of everything you had.

Then you'd broken your promise to her. The one set in stone with the exception to anything that wasn't human. The one that you would apply to any living thing because the two of you couldn't have perceived creatures like these to exist.

But she wasn't here.

They weren't here.

Your own nen visualization had tricked your already frantic mind. And now that it had been unsummoned, you could start to think clearly.

She hadn't been real. You knew she was gone. That there was no way for her to be here with you. But your mind loved to play the cruelest of tricks on you.

This feeling though, this exchange of warmth and the comforting scent that surrounded your very being, was real.

It only just occurred to you now that your vision was obscured by something.

No, someone.

And it finally clicked for you where the source of this comfort came from.

"Kite?" Your laxed hands against his chest had started to grip the fabric of his shirt.

"Yeah... Welcome back." His body had become more relaxed against yours, but the arms around you unconsciously pulled you a little closer.

He was here.

He was real.

A momentary relief before you started trembling again. Your boys weren't here. They had seen you be just as ruthless as those Chimera Ants. They'd felt the darkness of your aura that was never supposed to be out in the open again. That they probably thought was yours all the time. But it wasn't.

That wasn't your default and you'd swear it over and over until your throat was raw.

But you knew it wouldn't make much of a difference. They'd seen you at your worst. As a monster.

And then another horrific thought struck you. For those few moments you lost yourself, you'd become a beacon. A beacon for them.

You were such a fuckup.

Your fault your fault your fault your fault your fault your fault your fault your fault your fault your fault your fault your fault your fault your fault your fault your fault your fault your fault your fault your fault

You clutched desperately at the being in front of you. Eyes brimming with a wetness that you would not let fall. You didn't deserve to cry. You were the one who messed up. The one who deserved to suffer. You shouldn't even be accepting the kindness being offered to you right now. You didn't deserve it.

Kite frowned as your condition started to worsen again. You were more present, but your aura was still engulfed in an immense feeling of guilt. Eating away at your mental state. Your resolve keeping you from letting out your frustrations. Still trying to keep yourself together while you were rapidly unraveling.

You were shaking, but you weren't crying. Clutching his shirt so hard he was sure there would be small holes when you let go. And that was probably what you needed most right now.

To let everything go. Everything you've felt since you got here. Everything you'd been bottling up since before.

"It's okay. I've got you." He rested his head on top of yours. Voice as soft and encouraging as he could muster. Knowing you'd heard him from the way your trembling ceased.

"You don't have to hold it in any more, so do me a favor and let go. Can you do that for me, sweetheart?"

It must've been the way he said it, with such a fondness, with so much assurance. Like it was really okay for you to take this opportunity and just be small for once. To have someone help lighten the burdens you carried.

Or perhaps it had been the way his entire being engulfed yours. Creating a little bubble of safety where it was just the two of you. Where nobody else could see you finally break down.

And all at once the damn bursts. Your cries were silent, but they were still there. Clutching Kite impossibly closer. Wanting to be enveloped in his presence. Wanting the feeling of him to drown everything else out. All the terrors this night had shown you.

Letting him move a hand up to cradle your head forwards. Resting between the junction of his neck and shoulder as your tears flowed unrestrained for the first time in years.

The rational part of your brain screaming at you to pull yourself together and toughen up. That being this weak in front of others was bad.

But you couldn't help ignoring it. Instead, focusing on the fingers running through your hair in an attempt to soothe you. Letting you know that it truly was okay.

That the mental toll tonight had given you was justified. And you wanted to believe that, too. But you just couldn't. You could never justify putting everyone at risk because you were too stubborn to leave. Too stubborn to listen to the cues your body was giving you.

Your voice filled with mirth had never sounded as broken as it did when you finally spoke.

"I'm such a failure. I thought- I thought I could make it work. That things would be fine here. But I'm such a screw up. I never should have-"

The shakes coursing through your body were violent as you took a second to let out another silent sob.

Why had you still insisted on hiding.

"I never should have left that stupid game. I never should have come here. I never should have lost control like that."

But you wanted to foolishly believe you could rebuild your life up. That a life worth living with people worth living for was still possible.

"Now they're in danger and it's all my fault. I put them in danger because I was too stupid to just back out when I had the chance! What kind of idiot just ignores their own limits!"

And then your voice had quieted down once more. So low that if he wasn't right next to you, Kite wouldn't have heard it.

"They probably hate me."

There were so many things he could have said in that moment. So many things he wanted to say, but he settled on the one that you probably needed to hear most. The one that was undeniably true no matter what way you looked at it.

"They don't hate you. Those kids love you more than anything. They wanted to stay, you know? To make sure you were okay."

Did they really? 

You doubted it. Not after seeing you that way. There was no way they could still view you as someone worth loving, of trusting after that.

"You're lying."

It was the only defense you had.

"Am I?"

You couldn't sense any deceit from him. Only worry that was starting to swell with something else. 

Longing.

The same feeling reflecting in your own aura the longer he held you.

"Can you look at me for a second?"

You didn't want to. You wanted to stay covered. Stay wrapped up in this feeling that had you spilling your secrets without a second thought. But you didn't resist against him slightly pulling away from you and coaxing your head up. You didn't avert your eyes when they finally met his.

"They care about you, don't ever doubt that. If they didn't, they wouldn't be picking up on your habits to accommodate you. They wouldn't look back over at you, waiting for your attention. They wouldn't have let you come if they didn't want you around them. And if you still don't believe that, then just wait until they see you. I have a hunch they'll tell you so themselves. Okay?"

And you couldn't do anything except nod. Letting yourself believe he was right. He had never been wrong before.

"And about you putting them in danger…you didn't. You protected Gon, didn't you? You reacted quickly and neutralized the threat. What happened after was an accident. You went over your limits, which was foolish, but you didn't have a choice. So for however long you decide to stay, don't use your ability anymore. Let me take care of everything from here on out. I'll protect all three of you."

Even though he said he wouldn't. That if any of you couldn't protect yourselves, you'd need to leave. But he supposed he could make an exception for you. Give you a break from everything you experienced so far. Because truthfully, he wasn't so keen on sending you back anymore. 

"I don't want to just sit back and be a burden. I already can't fight. If I can't use my ability to sense what's ahead, then what am I even good for?" You were completely useless without your nen. And now that you verbalized it, the feeling only intensified. 

You were nothing if you couldn't even do the one thing you were good at.

"You're not a burden. If anything, those boys are going to need you more than ever for what lies ahead. Your comfort, specifically. They're going to need a rock to help them get through this. They've already seen things most wouldn't have been able to stomach. Witnessed inhumane atrocities that most grown men would have crumbled at the sight of. And it's only going to get worse the closer we get to the nest. If you left now, do you think the same words coming from me would mean as much as if they came from you?"

You didn't know when you had moved your head back into his neck, but you were grateful you did. Because right now, you were crying again. You couldn't have been that important, could you? You couldn't have mattered that much to them. But it made sense, what Kite was saying. 

They were kids who shouldn't have to bear the brunt of this night by themselves. Who kept together better than you did, but were still very much affected by what they saw.

"I don't wanna hold them back…But I don't want to push them too far either." You leaned further into him. Wanting his presence to engulf you once more because it was safe. It let you succumb to the ever-growing guilt and regret bubbling under the surface without judgment. Without prying eyes. 

"You won't. You're doing just fine so far." 

And you felt your head being once again cradled. So gently, so lovingly.

Was that what this feeling was? The one that had your heart beating in overdrive. The one that made you feel so safe and protected. The one that made you tease and embarrass him.

A type of love so very special you couldn’t really put it into words.

You loved the boys, yes. But not like this. You had a family once. A clan. And you had loved them once upon a time.

So why did this feel different? Stronger. Why did it make you wanna stay by his side just for the opportunity to be held so tenderly again?

"You smell nice. It helps in a way. Being able to relax, I mean." You said after a while. Your mouth running faster than your brain, unable to catch yourself from saying things you probably shouldn't.

But instead of pushing you away, Kite had rested his head on yours. Relieved that you were finally starting to be yourself again. The tiredness from your aura was still present, but everything negative from before had quelled back down.

"I'm glad." He responded.

And truthfully, he liked your scent, too. The scent of fresh rain that was unfortunately tainted with undertones of copper now. But he had no doubt it would return to normal in time. It would be just as wonderful as it had been when you'd given him back his cloak.

"You know, I think I like you. Is that bad?"

Your sudden confession had him tensing up. He hadn’t expected your forwardness. It caught him so off guard he was sure he turned a bright red. And he had to remind himself that this was still a job, regardless of if he returned your feelings or not. You two would have time to sort it out later.

When he could take you out on a proper date.

But just this once, he would let his professionalism slip.

"No...Not at all."

“Okay.”

He was surprised when you said nothing after that. He expected you to ask him where he stood regarding his feelings towards you. And when you didn't, he didn't quite know what to make of it. 

The way you confessed, though, had clued him in a little. You didn't seem to know what to make of your own feelings. Had you never done this before? Never felt a connection to someone else? It hadn't occurred to him someone could be new to this. New to the very idea of being in love.

And maybe it did endear you all the more to him that you didn’t know how these things worked. 

But time was ticking, and Gon and Killua were probably worried sick. Wondering what was taking so long. 

"We should get going." He released his grip on you and went to get up.

But you pulled him back down into you.

"Can we stay like this a little longer. Please."

You were proving to be a distraction. And maybe that wasn't so bad after all.

"Okay. But just for a few more minutes. We can't stall forever."

"I know."

You just wanted this small comfort to last a little while longer.

—-----------------------

An impatient foot tapped on the ground, getting faster with each passing minute. The feeling of anxiety growing the longer it took.

"Maybe we should go check on them?" Gon suggested. His fidgeting stopping for just a moment.

"You were the one who insisted we wait outside. So deal with it." Killua argued back. His own hands fidgeting as he tried not to get up and go in there himself. 

"I know but they've been gone a long time. I'm just worried." The boy in green looked back at the factory entrance.

"I'm worried, too." 

Because you hadn't been yourself. The warmth that had drawn them to you disappeared. In its place something dark.

Something that Killua couldn't help but associate with his brother. The feeling that left him paralyzed and weak. Except this time, it had been strong enough to actually strangle him. 

For the first time, he didn't feel safe around you. 

But there had been signs leading up to your breakdown. Signs that both of them had ignored in favor of having you here. The most telling one, however, was the fact that you didn't seem to care after their battles. 

You didn't worry, didn't cheer them on, didn't even have a spark of pride behind those tired eyes. You'd always, always told them they had done a good job. 

And when you practically ignored him after his fight, it hurt. 

It hurt to see you turn away with that blank expression. 

It hurt because he didn't want you to be like the rest of his family. He wanted you to be you. To get all pissy when he pushed your buttons. To scold him and bonk the back of his head. To fuss over him like he was a baby and curse out whoever had hurt him or Gon.

He wasn't used to giving unconditional love, but if you came out of that factory like yourself again, then it was already decided he would forgive you. 

"Does it bother you?" He asked Gon after a few minutes.

"Does what bother me?"

"That they didn't recognize you? That their Ren was so heavy and gross?" 

And it took the boy in green a while to think of his answer. 

"I don't think so. I mean, I didn't like them seeing me but not seeing who I was. I think they thought I was someone else. But it wasn't something they could help, so no. That doesn't bother me. And as for their aura…"

If he would have just finished off the ant like Kite said, then you wouldn't have lost control in the first place. You wouldn't be panicking right now.

"It's my fault they got that way. They wouldn't have been so angry if I had just done what I was supposed to. And Master Wing said Ren is a projection of your emotions. We knew they weren't doing so well before we even started fighting. They probably pushed themselves too far trying to keep up with us."

So no, Gon wasn't bothered by either of those things. He chose not to be, so long as you walked out back to normal.

"So you're blaming yourself? You idiot. Don't you remember what Y/n said. 'No matter what happens, it's not your fault.'" Killua scolded. 

Because right now, that was the only thing he could think to say. He should've known Gon's affection for you wouldn't have swayed. To be fair, he stuck around with this ex-assassin even after learning about who he truly was.

"I don't think that applies to this situation. They jumped in to protect me. Because I wasn't thorough enough." Gon argued.

You weren't a fighter, but you went against that for him. You'd been exposed to your phobia full force to protect him.

"Because they love you, you idiot!"

And the words temporarily shocked him. Hearing them said out in the open. You did love them, didn't you? 

You did.

And the thought had him beaming. Temporarily distracting him from his previous feeling of guilt.

"Hey! What's got you all smiley all of a sudden!?!"

"Y/n loves us." 

Killua had quickly turned his face away, embarrassment bubbling up.

"Dummy. Gahh! What's taking them so long!?!" He tried to change the subject, hoping Gon would take the bait.

"I don't know. They have been gone for about thirty minutes. Why are you worrying? Does something about it bother you?" The boy in green taking on a teasing tone, catching on to what Killua was trying to do.

"Of course it does! I don't want lover boy putting his hands on our big sibling! Are you not bothered by it!?!" The small assassin crossed his arms and huffed.

"Not really. I'll admit it's a little weird because Kite was my dad's student. And Y/n is our big sibling. It's like two different worlds colliding, but I trust him. He's super tough too, so Y/n's in good hands." Gon assured.

"Well I haven't seen enough! He needs both of our approvals or else the answer is no." 

He really was being stubborn about this, wasn't he? And it was very amusing to the boy in green.

"What'll you do if they end up together anyway? You can't be upset with him forever. You know what that means right? It means he's officially one of us. Like Leorio and Kurapika. Zushi and Master Wing, too."

But Killua was still not having it. 

"You don't get it. You've never had siblings before. You don't know what it's like to finally have somebody who doesn't want to use you. Who doesn't push you to be something you don't want to." All at once the conversation had shifted into something a little more somber.

"...You're right, I've never had a brother or a sister. But that doesn't mean I love Y/n any less than you do. You know, the one thing I've learned trying to find Ging is that you meet all sorts of people. You make all sorts of friends no matter where you go. And you keep moving forward because no matter what, you'll always see them again."

This time Gon met Killua's eyes with a resolve just as strong as yours.

"You're worried about them not wanting to come with us anymore, right? Well if they do decide to stay with Kite after this, then that's fine. We'll always get to see them again. It's a promise. I don't know why you get so upset when it's clear as day they love us no matter what."

It was like magic the way he could convince Killua of almost anything when he sounded that confident. The way he could get him to believe in everything that came out of his mouth.

"How are you always so sure about these things? I just-I just don't want to let go yet. I know Kite's a good guy. I know he's important to you because he was important to Ging. And I know that he makes Y/n so happy when they talk to him. I know but…It's hard."

"Of course it's hard. It's not easy to let go of someone you care about. But think of it this way- we get another big sibling if things work out." Gon had made it over to where Killua sat, giving him a light nudge to the shoulder.

A small smile made its way to the mini assassin's face.

"Yeah, I guess you're right…But if he breaks their heart, we're gonna give him hell for it, right?"

"Duh. Nobody's allowed to make Y/n upset. It could be Isaac Netero himself and I still wouldn't take it."

---------------

Fun Fact #12: Y/n smells like rain, even though they absolutely despise the murky weather. 

MASTERLIST

Tags: @fandomhoe101 @justxiao @bekahtaylorgriggs

If you'd like to be tagged all you need to do is ask 🥰

---------------------------------

An: A doozy of a chapter with 18k words!!! Y'all are being spoiled, but honestly this chapter could have been longer if my mobile tumblr hadn't kept dying after i reached around 12k words. Legit kicking me out and not letting me edit, so i had to finish in google docs and copy and paste from my laptop.

Unfortunately, there was a cut kiss scene. It just didn't fit right, if that makes sense? I just don't think Kite would've kissed reader after crying. He's a gentleman and I refuse to believe otherwise. 😤😤😤

That's all, uploading is gonna be inconsistent as always, but I'm back baby 🤌🤌🤌

#hxh #hunter x hunter #hxh x reader #hunter x hunter x reader #hxh x y/n #hunter x hunter x y/n #gon x reader #killua x reader #mayhaps a kite x reader??? #big sib reader #older reader #found family #x reader #platonic

[honey-boyyoongi]

Pairing ➪ Reader x Yoongi||Part 54//??

Word count ➪ 1.5k

Warnings ➪ it’s not beta-ed; any mistakes are mine; mentions of self harm; mentions of scars; if you're name is crossed out it's because I'm unable to tag you;

Summary ➪ Min Yoongi, is a simple man. He likes his coffee black and iced, he enjoys his job, and he loves his baby girl. But what happens when the new neighbor, quite literally, drops into his life?

A/n: Wooooow it’s been a bit huh. First off, I narrowly missed posting this on Father’s Day, but oh well, belated works as well lol. Second off I’m sorry for not posting consistently. Thank you to everyone who read my fic while I was gone 💕. Sorry for throwing y’all back into this a little sad lol. As always any feedback is appreciated, and if you want to be added to the tag list please let me know.

P.S. I updated WWDITS!

Previous Next

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Minji laid on her unmade hotel bed, numb. The last 12 hours had felt unreal. She had a daughter, a beautiful daughter, that was all Yoongi with hints of her brother. She could feel flickers of life bloom in her chest when Mrs. Min talked about the toddler. It almost made Minji regret fleeing, almost. 

Minji forced herself out of the plush bed, stripping herself of her clothes down to her birthday suit. She stood in front of the mirror, examining herself; every mole, scar, stretch mark, and at the center of it all was the C-section scar from the child’s birth. Most days Minji could forget the long pink scar that decorated her lower belly. Sometimes the pain that comes from it will pull her from the fog she’s been sinking herself in. She dragged her index finger lightly across, remembering the child’s birth. 

Yoongi had freaked out that morning, Minji had gone into early labor a week before she was scheduled for her C-section. Yoongi had arranged and rearranged her maternity bag weeks in advance, making sure he kept the child’s belongings in a separate diaper bag. He double, triple, quadruple checked that they had the correct paperwork to check Minji in with no issues. Yoongi was on the phone with her doctor, informing her of the early labor, while Minji floated through his apartment. She could feel the child moving around, just as desperate as she to leave its confines. 

Yoongi tried his best to settle their nerves while they drove to their hospital, he guided Minji through the breathing exercises they learned at birthing classes. She remembered doing the bare minimum to ease the sharp pain traveling across her lower body. Minji felt that she deserved to feel the pain enveloping her. She held off until her doctor sedated her for her C-section. 

Minji watched as the tub she laid in filled to a less than ideal amount. The steaming water was stinging the skin it enveloped, and she sighed in relief. She allowed her body to relax, washing away the tension that had built up. 

Minji walked into the Min home, taking in the room that once gave her comfort. The hallway right at the entrance that was once lined with pictures of Yoongi, were now taken over by pictures of the child. No longer was her former lover’s story up for her to reread. The comfy dark gray sectional was still in its corner, and the rocking chair where she informed the Min elders of her pregnancy was occupied by an obscenely large stuffed bear. She could hear father Min humming along to the song playing from his ‘Alexa’, and their kettle whistling. Mother Min was going forward with the pleasantries, ‘You look great’, ‘I missed you’, ‘why did you leave’, ‘do you have a boyfriend’, ‘do you want tea’, ‘do you want to see pictures of Hani’? It was overwhelming.

Minji nodded through the simple small talk, allowing the Min elders to talk about their lives within the last four years. They’d spent 3 hours on Mrs. Min’s community center stories, and if it hadn’t been for a neighbor stopping by, she’d still be speaking about them. She learned that both Mins’ had technically retired, but Mr. Min was still running his shop. While Mrs. Min would take clients once in a blue moon for events. While the trio ate lunch together, Minji caught herself tearing up. She had missed this feeling of belonging that enveloped her at the Min home. Mrs. Min kept her plate full, and Mr. Min made sure to pack up leftovers for her to eat at her hotel. 

After cleaning up, Mrs. Min brought out the child’s pictures. Minji was reading the short story of the child’s life, and she was conflicted. She watched as the child took her first steps towards Yoongi. There he was at every little song learned, art piece being made, movie watched, and word spoken. It never looked like there was a missing piece. There was no place left for her. Minji held back a sob that had built itself as she learned more about the child’s life. So far she had learned that the child liked pink, but hated yellow. She loved mozzarella sticks, cheerios, and watermelon juice. Tiana was her current favorite princess, while Moana sits at a very close second. The Mins’ practically glowed talking about the girl. 

Minji stared at the ceiling above, feeling droplets falling on the sides of her face, too numb to care if they’re coming from her or from her bath. Her throat became dry, and it became harder to swallow. Too tired to fight, she allows the sobs that she pushed down, rise once again. Her cries echo across the walls, somehow adding more layers to her misery. 

Mrs. Min wasted no time speaking about Yoongi. ‘I never liked her from the beginning,’ she said, and ‘That Jeon boy was trouble’, while she doubted his judgment of character. The way she recounted the first meeting was odd; ‘She was too friendly towards Yoongi’, she said. While Mr. Min would add that he liked how friendly the babysitter was. Mrs. Min didn’t like that she acted like a hostess when they had brunch. Mr. Min liked that she was helping Yoongi, as there was a large amount of food. Mrs. Min was not fond of the child being so close to the babysitter, and Yoongi not correcting her. Mr. Min was ecstatic that his granddaughter was comfortable with someone new. It went on like that for the rest of the talk, for every dislike Mother Min had, Father Min had a counter like. By the end she was visibly frustrated. 

Mrs. Min looked at Mr. Min with dark eyes, ‘Why are you defending her’, she demanded. Mr. Min sighed, ‘This conversation isn’t about the babysitter, it’s about Minji wanting to see her daughter.’ 

‘She deserves to know what kind of person our son has left our granddaughter with’, she sneered. 

Mr. Min grunted, ‘Yoongi isn’t completely hopeless, he’s very strict with Haneul’s care.’

Mrs. Min scoffed, offended that her husband wasn’t agreeing with her. Minji was confused, if this person was so horrible as Mother Min said, then why is Yoongi still allowing his child to still be in her care. Who was this person and why was she causing such a rift? Mr. Min stood from his chair, excusing himself, but not before telling Minji that he hopes she’s here for the right reasons. Minji tensed in her seat, she wondered if he knew that Mrs. Min had been reaching out to reunite her with his grandchild. 

Mother Min waited until her husband had left the kitchen to speak once again, she asked Minji to please see the child. She went on, and on about how the baby asked for her momma. ‘Any time we’re out and we see a mother and daughter she asks me where her momma is. I always tell her you were sick, but are working on getting better. I tell her you miss her, and want to see her. Hani wants you here Minji.’ 

Minji teared up, she didn’t know that her baby was asking for her. She had always felt like the baby would be better without her, Minji was aware of the baggage she carried, and she had started facing it little by little with her therapist. But they could never broach the topic of the baby, it opened a can of worms Minji wasn’t sure she wanted to deal with just yet. Mom told her to fight for her child, she had rights, and she should fight for them. She assured Minji that she’d support her through it, even offering for them to stay in their home while she had custody of the baby. 

Minji rubbed a scar lightening cream on her lower stomach. She climbed into bed holding her phone, with a new chat opened. She stared at the screen until it darkened, shoving it under the cold hotel pillow to keep it out of mind. Minji laid in darkness, allowing herself to get lost, and leave her body. 

Minji watched as the head nurse placed the baby in her chest. It didn’t look like a baby, and smelled like blood and something else she can’t remember. She couldn’t remember the inbetween, next thing she woke up to was a crying Yoongi holding a pink blanket with a tuft of black hair. Minji had left 48 hours after giving birth. Yoongi had begged her to stay longer, ‘I just witnessed your organs on a tray next to you, I think you should stay a bit longer Min.’ Minji refused. She promised Yoongi she’d take care of herself. As she got the last of her things she voiced her goodby, and her well wishes. A week later Minji was in her new apartment, with her new roommate, starting her new life. 

Minji had a lot of regrets in her life, but as she laid in her bed, she decided this was not going to be one of them. She reopened the chat she had closed. Once she was satisfied, Minji readjusted herself into her bed, hoping everything will be worth it

____________________________________________________________________________

02:37 Unknown

Hi Yoongi. Your mom gave me your new number.

I want to see my daughter.

Tag List: @unicornbabylover @halesandy @supernoonanyc @aianloveseven @hannahdinse8 @lyndseygoregasmxo @aunoiire @brbkpop @nochuwastaken @tinyoonsblog @borahae-reads @jinscharms @phenomenalgirl9 @yoongiigolden @girlwithluv0613 @yaboiithewreck @mint--yoongs @ysljoon @hyunjingin @yu-justme @damn-u-min-yoongi @lovelytaes-blog @so-da-1 @cruelsummer-s @seolaquotes @lovelgirl22 @dreamamubarak @leanimal90 @atinymonbebestay @astudyoftimeywimeystuff @jaiuneamesolitaiire @proudbtsstanfightmebeach

Fic Masterlist

#bts #bts imagines #bts fics #bts non idol au #bts social media au #bts fluff #bts fanfic #bts smau #yoongi #bts angst #bts single dad au #bts x reader #reader x yoongi #fic: oh baby #bts text #bts scenarios #bangtan #bangtan fic #bangtan imagine #bangtan fanfic #bangtan non idol au #bangtan single dad au #bangtan social media au #bangtan sm au #bangtan angst #bangtan fluff #bangtan scenarios #bangtan fake texts

[charmwasjess]

This unstable spring weather is reminding me of when I was a teenager, I had a massive, irrational phobia of tornadoes, despite growing up in an area with little to no chance of them. It was so bad that my mom took me to a psychologist because I'd do irrational things like hide in the bathtub instead of going to school if there was any chance of severe weather. It didn't help. Every time the sky got dark, I'd get that weird, frantic, achy-itchy feeling.

And then, one day, I'm sixteen, working my first job at a coffee shop and I get a panicked call from my boss. I look out the window and almost comically, like it showed up just for me, to make some point, there's this beautiful white tornado dancing right towards us. I remember thinking it looked like the skinny part of an hour glass. It's true what they say about them appearing to hold still when they're heading for you, so I got a very good look at it. The trees were bending flat to the ground and the double doors of the shop were getting sucked open. Me and the other teenaged employee crowded the kids (we were also an ice cream shop, there was a birthday going on) into the center room, and we sang "happy birthday" over and over again to drown out the sound of it hitting the building. We were okay, but it took off several adjacent roofs and smashed up cars in the parking lot.

This was a weird way to start loving tornadoes. (cut for weather geekery)

They are like dreams - for all the data, we know relatively little about why they happen. We can see their ingredients: moisture, atmospheric instability, wind sheer, but sometimes all those pieces are in place and a tornado won't form. In fact, most often, it doesn't. They're still rare. The language we use to talk about them endlessly fascinates me: they are born out of thunderstorms called super cells, which have a 'lifecycle.' One thunderstorm can birth a single tornado, or many that live and die along the greater lifespan of the thunderstorm. The way they multiply is fascinating, one tornado can be circled by wispy, smaller, satellite tornadoes, or more rarely, two full-sized tornadoes side by side, a pair of twins. A group of tornados is a "family."

They come in all shapes and sizes. Mine was a skinny rope funnel, and a relatively weak example - F1 on the scale. The 1925 Tri-State tornado, F5, the strongest on the scale, was the longest recorded tornado in history with a 219-mile track. Part of the danger of that storm was that nobody even realized it was a tornado until it was right on top of them because it was so huge: it was said to look like a red, boiling fog from horizon to horizon because it was rain-wrapped, and had sucked up a lot of red river mud. Water tornadoes and fire tornadoes are both a thing.

They behave inconsistently too. The El Reno tornado that killed the storm chaser and scientist Tim Samaras in 2013 is often personified as evil, a storm set out to kill storm chasers, because it seemed to behave with particular, intentional nastiness. In 30 seconds, it went from a small tornado to a 2.6 mile wedge. It's hard to even imagine the scale of something like that: someone observing from a safe distance miles away is suddenly inside the literal tornado within less than a minute. Most tornadoes move in a more or less straight trajectory - this one repeatedly changed directions. But this is just another example of how even when scientists know how tornadoes generally behave, we're still figuring them out.

Of course, all of this is not about overly romanticizing a phenomenon that kills a ton of people each year, a fact that is only going to get worse with climate change. And certainly research funding and money for early warning systems or national weather services being less prioritized in the politicization of climate change.

I still have tornado nightmares a lot. I had one last night, which is I guess why I'm still thinking about the shapes. It's always the same: I'm standing in a house, usually my childhood home, and there are families of tornadoes that go right past it, but never hit. I still think they're so interesting. And it's funny the way anxiety can turn into fascination under the right circumstances.

#tornadoes #weather nerding #sorry this isn't about count dooku I just wanted to gush about tornadoes for a minute #story time #charm stuff #tw tornado

[anamelessfool]

WIP WHENEVER

Thank you @kissingghouls for the tag!!!! I tried to pick something a little unique for this challenge...

VISITATION (From 'Domestics')

(family, humor, self-indulgent fluff, Dad Secondo)

2013: Papa Emeritus Terzo, Copia, and Nihil visit their estranged brother Secondo after the birth of his youngest child.

I have this whole ficlet series similar to Bestiary but based on small domestic moments in the lives of the brothers and the characters in my AU. Why? Because it's fun and ridiculously self-indulgent.

I love me a good flashback....

⛧⛧⛧

“Which way am I turning here?” Copia asked.

“Left,” muttered Terzo.

“Left...”

“Right.”

“Oh, Right then?”

“Yes, left is right!” Terzo paused then groaned. “Left is correct.”

“Marian couldn't come?” Terzo asked Copia idly. He smirked. “Hope your leash is long enough.”

Copia frowned. “At some point I wil fly out of this car, yes, jerked back by the leash, your Unholiness,” he replied flatly. “But ah… I'm into that.” Two hours in the car with Terzo gave one plenty of time to practice talking trash. “We should have arrived twenty minutes ago.”

Terzo shifted in the passenger seat. Car rides made him sick, and therefore extra irritable. He glanced in the rearview mirror at Nihil in the back. Nihil was staring ahead, expressionless, his eyes dull like a mesmerized cow. “We would have made time if we didn't stop back there.”

“Terzo, the old man barely asks for anything these days,” Copia said firmly. “So when he asked to stop and buy a balloon for his new grandson I um…had to indulge him.”

“Isn't this thing just brand new? A little ball that sleeps and cries? Why—why does it need a fucking balloon?”

“That thing… is your nephew,” Copia said, and he squeezed the steering wheel. “Have you ever taken care of anything small and helpless like that? You'd understand.”

Terzo muttered something in Italian and dropped his head against the door, staring out the window. Copia assumed if he wasn't so carsick he would really put on a pissy show for them all.

“We’re nearly there,” Copia said, slowing to an agonizing stop at the intersection, looking carefully right and left, waiting the appropriate three seconds at the stop sign, and then continuing on.

[They pull up to a plain suburban house.]

The door opened, Secundo towered over them all, his dark intense presence unmarred by his years away. The former Papa Emeritus II of the Satanic Church of the Void was now wearing a checkered button-down shirt and dark khakis. His grip on his cane tightened as his shark-like gaze flicked from guest to guest. Four Infernal Eyes regarded each other on the porch. Secundo's pitted face moved slightly. “Shoes. Off.” He shifted back, granting them entry.

They were led inside to a sunken foyer. Beyond a small railing was an ordinary living room with a beige carpet. There were halls nearby leading to kitchen, basement and bedrooms. All with as few stairs as possible made it easier for Secundo to easily walk around in his current state. His time as Channel of the Void left him permanently weak in his left side, but they all knew it could have been much worse.

Copia was struck by how unbelievably ordinary the place was. There was an unusual number of crammed bookshelves and a piano near the window, but other than that there was very little evidence of this being the home of a former leader of The Satanic Church of the Void. A single taxidermied goat head loomed over the television that displayed a muted cartoon program. Two small children sat near it in the center of a pile of wooden blocks.

Copia pulled his own shoes off, then knelt to help Nihil out of his. “It's nice to see you again, Secundo.”

Secundo never dropped his intensity and simply changed the words he spoke. “Yes, it is, Copia. Welcome.”

“Is that…is that little Paul?!” Copia nearly squealed as he pointed towards the little face peering from between the metal railings. The boy Paul had a shock of messy dark hair and a wild look that was all too familiar. “He's a small version of Terzo! Look!”

“That had been my unfortunate impression as well,” Secundo replied flatly.

Terzo gave them all a painfully polite smile, then joked. “Not to worry, I had nothing to do with it.”

Nihil’s head whipped from Paul to Terzo. “Yes, definitely our little scamp! An even smaller Terzo, heh!” Both grandson and son threw him identical scowls.

“Do you remember us?” Copia asked Paul. The boy cocked his head, thinking. He was born at the Ministry but the whole family left by the time he was five. “I remember we took out my old trike and you were pedaling up and down the hallways…”

“I distinctly remember you pedaling up and down the hallways on his tricycle,” Secundo said with an amused smirk.

“Just that once! To teach him!” Copia shot back.

[They settle into the collection of couches and proceed to observe the newborn.]

“Nihil, would you—” Sandra frowned. The old man had fallen asleep in the recliner within the past five minutes. She chuckled. “Well then, we will try later! How about you, Terzo?”

Terzo furrowed his brow. “No, certainly not. No thank you, sorella.”

Secundo looked quietly invested from his place on the opposite couch. “He'll reconsider later.”

My AO3 Series | My FicList

Tagging @katyaoaksdottir @fishwithtitz and @thew0man and you, yes YOU!

#ghost fandom #ghost scenes from the void #ao3 author #ao3 fanfic #WIP whenever project #fluff fic #ghost band headcanons #papa emeritus ii #papa emeritus iii #cardinal copia #dad secondo

[blueberrypancakesworld]

Can I request an angst where Aemond’s wife who is also Rhaenyra’s daughter( I love that trope sorry) dies during child birth, which leads to her starting the war instead of Luke dying.

My second request I'm happy and especially with the theme it was a little challenge to write a birth. But it was fun and I hope you like it dear anon

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The promise

warning : death, hurt, no comfort, emotional

masterlist

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The corridors, the rooms and all the places of the great castle, the center of King's Landing, were filled with cries. Cries of life and cries of pain. They came from the room of the wife of Prince Aemond Targaryen. ,,You must push, my lady," she heard the master say, and she screamed even more in pain. ,,Where is Aemond?" she said weakly, sweat glistening lightly on her burning forehead.

The cool cloth that the maid put on her forehead helped only briefly. But the pain caused by her child was all the more unbearable. ,,He will be here any moment," she heard one of the maids say, but they all knew that this sentence had been said many times in the last few hours.

Aemond, the second son of the dead King Viserys and his second wife Alicent, was on his way to Lord Boros to ask for his support. One thing that divided the family was the question of inheriting the throne. While her father Daemon insisted that Rhaenyra her mother ascend the throne, it was Alicent and her father Ser Otto who proclaimed Aegon the first son of the king as heir.

The rift between the families was great, but even if the question was almost settled and Aegon the second was on the throne, they all knew that it was only because of the marriage of Rhaenyra's only daughter that they had not yet started a war.

The alliance between the green Hightowers and the Targaryens is held together only by the love of Y/n and Aemond. But what was supposed to be a quick flight to Vaghar was now hours ago and the lady was slowly becoming aware of that.

A renewed wave of pain pervaded her body as she felt the child was not in the right position. What started as a normal pregnancy ended with a painful now early birth due to the stress that was on her and Aemond. ,,I can't, it hurts!" she cried and her cold, sweaty hands convulsively held the wet blanket.

She did not notice how the Master was talking with the hand of Ser Otto and Lady Alicent in a corner. She herself knew that it was already bad that it was a premature birth, but the thought of a baby together with Aemond, the man of her heart, did not make her give up hope.

Suddenly, with a flash of lightning that came from the storm raging over King's Landing, the door to her room flew open. ,,My Love!" it sounded anxiously and a rain-soaked Aemond came in. He ignored the master and the maids, as well as his mother, who wanted to keep him away from the woman in labor. ,,Aemond, you are here," she said and grabbed his wet and cold hand. But it was all the same, she had him with her, something that relieved her.

A scream crossed her lips again as she felt the child moving and wanting to get out. ,,Do something!" Aemond shouted at the masters and looked around for help. ,,Stay with me please....promise me that nothing will happen-" her words were interrupted by another cry and whimper. His fingers stroked her heated cheeks and his eyes ran over her body in search of help. ,,No matter how it turns out you love the child," she finished, feeling the pain subside for a moment. ,,My prince, a word" came from Otto who pulled Aemond to him.

With each word of the elder, the fear and panic grew in the eye of the prince. ,,You must save her!" he shouted at the master, his hand resting on his sword. The master nervously looked from the woman in childbirth to the prince and then to Alicent. ,,My prince, the child lies twisted. It is weakened by the premature birth and she has already lost a lot of blood. Either we...we cut her open and save the child or we lose them both" he said after a moment's hesitation and saw the bewilderment in the prince's eye. ,,With all due respect to your feelings, Prince Aemond, save the child to avoid a war," Otto said, his words only causing more anger and fear in Aemond's mind.

Before an even more painful and suffering cry came from his wife's lips. ,,Aemond, get it out, I can't!" she screamed at him and squeezed his hand even tighter. ,,You can push my love for me just one more time" he begged her as he saw the Master encouraging him to continue.

She shook her head but cried out again as she pressed hard. ,,Aemond, please stop!" she cried and tears ran down her cheeks. They were the same sad tears that ran down the prince's cheek. But then in a moment of calm in which she wanted to sit up to give Aemond a kiss, something snatched.

Before such a bloodcurdling scream came from the woman that everyone in the room flinched. ,,What happened?" came from Alicent and the Master pulled the blanket aside with a yank. ,,No" came weakly from Aemond when he saw the pool of blood that covered the whole lower bed. ,,Aemond-please stay with me, I'm scared," she whimpered and her hands tightened around his. ,,Very good my lady, you had to push one last time!" she heard the Master call out, seemingly having found a solution. But Aemond saw it in her eyes. The acceptance. She seemed to know that there was more room for the child to be born because of the internal rupture.

But this very split seemed to mean her death. She screamed and shrieked before a baby began to cry with the last lightning strike. ,,You did it my heart" said Aemond and he saw the faint smile on her lips. ,,It's a girl," said the Master and the room became silent. ,,I'm sorry," she said whimpering and tears of fear ran down her cheeks as she knew she had failed. ,,No ,No, don't say that, you were so incredibly strong, my girl," he said, but his words became more and more muffled.

Aemond's voice sounded broken, he seemed to be fighting with himself not to have a nervous breakdown. ,,Aemond...take care of her for me, she must survive or there will be...war" she said in a weak whisper as her grip on his hands weakened. ,,No, stay with me, I can't do it without you Y/n!" he said louder and louder and clasped her cold hands. ,,I love you...Aemond" she said weakly and looked one last time into the face of the man she loved.

And with the closing of her eyes, the only daughter of Rhaenyra died. That between the families was dead. But the wish she had made would be broken that very night by her husband himself, when he would be attacked on Vhagar by Lucerys, the younger brother of his wife on Arrax. Vhagar the old dragoness, on the other hand, killed Lucerys and his dragon.

Before the only thing he had left of his wife his daughter would die on the way to her grandmother Rhaenyra. And from the death of her first daughter, her second son and her grandchild, from the flames of the dragon emerged the Black Queen with the hunger for war.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

#hotd fanfic #house of the dragon #alicent hightower #otto hightower #aegon the second #aemond x reader #aemond x y/n #aemond targaryen #prince aemond #aemond one eye #queen rhaenyra #daemon targeryan #daemrya #lucerys velaryon #vhagar #arrax #childbirth #blood #bad ending

[bloodyknucklesforme]

Got it from a Book | Soap x Nina

Ficmas Day 9 (5 days late)

Nina's been reading a lot of 'romance' novels and wants to try something

cw: smut

"Could I ask you something?" Nina walked up to him as he laid on the couch.

"Course," Johnny said, already playing with the strings of her pants. "What's wrong?"

"I was reading..." She climbed on top, straddling him. His hands found their place on her hips.

"One of your smutty books?" He teased.

"They have other things...but yes." She rested her hands on his chest, slowly rocking her hips against him. "There's something they do a lot of and I'm on birth control now and... I wanted to try it."

"What's it?" He raised an eyebrow, cock already twitching. She was blushing, embarrassed to have even brought it up now. She knew Johnny would never make her feel ashamed for any of her desires. He was the one that always encouraged her to bring new things to him. Monthly trips to the sex store just to browse, he’d even pick up one of her ‘romance’ novels just to see what she liked.

"I want you to cum inside me,” she bit her lip, looking away from him. He grabbed her chin and pulled her down to his face.

“You want me to cum inside you?” His eyes were blown out already. She could feel him harden between her thighs, his hips grinding up into her. His hand moved to cradle the back of her neck till their noses brushed against each other. “That what you want?”

She nodded with a soft moan. He kissed her, a hand already traveling underneath her shirt. He’d gotten skilled at undoing her bra with one hand. She sat up and took off her shirt, Johnny hooked his finger on the front of her bra and pulled it off.

“I’ll never get enough of ya,” he breathed, maneuvering till he could wrap his mouth around one of her breasts. She scratched his scalp, wriggling until he wrapped his arms around her waist to hold her still with a soft growl.

"Excited?" She giggled. He rested his chin between her breasts and looked up at her.

"Very." He grinned, grabbing her legs and wrapping them around his waist. He lifted her up and off the couch. He left a trail of sloppy, open mouth kisses along her face and neck. "I love when you laugh like that."

He wasted little time in pulling her sweats and panties off after laying her on the bed. He was always eager to get between her legs but today he was fervent. Throwing his own pants against the wall with a thud that made her laugh.

Her legs hooked over his shoulders, nipping his way down her thighs. Chuckling every time she jolted. Her eyes rolled back as he reached her center and licked a stripe up to her clit, gently sucking on it.

"You said I was excited but look at how wet you are, Bon." He hummed, sliding two fingers into her easily. He loved working her up, would spend hours just between her legs if she'd let him. He was more patient than her, liked drawing out multiple orgasms from her before chasing his own. He said he liked the way she flailed around when she was close, made it a challenge to hold her down while she came.

She bucked her hips as he pressed his fingers against her. He kissed her thigh, nipping if she moved too much.

“Want ya ready for me. Gotta stay still though.”

“You make it hard,” she whined.

“You make me hard.” He chuckled.

He lapped at her cunt as his thumb rubbed circles on her clit. A muscle in her foot started to twitch, Johnny always thought it was cute that’s what happened when she was close. She grabbed a handful of his hair. He hissed as she pulled.

A third finger slid inside of her, curling and pumping. He’d lifted his head to look at her face as it twisted up. His tongue danced around her clit, pulling her higher and higher. Her back arched

“Johnny!” She cried.

“There we go, cum for me Neen.” He sucked her clit as she came, pushing her through her orgasm.

Her chest heaved, a fine layer of sweat covered her. He climbed ontop of her and kissed her cheek.

“Tell me why you want me to cum inside ya.” He said, anchoring his arms on either side of her head.

“What do you mean?” She sunk further into the mattress, turning even more pink.

“What happened in your smutty books that made you want this?” He nipped at her neck. She tried to hide the guilty look on her face.“I won’t do it unless you tell me.”

“Something about… being claimed.” She raised her eyes at noise that came from his throat. She thought it was a little dumb. She admittedly only read those books for the sex scenes. It felt nice to be able to explore things without actually doing anything. The last book just described it in a way that made her crave it more than anything.

Sex was new. It was often overwhelming and left her crying just from the rush of everything. Johnny made it good, he made sure of it. She wanted part of him, she wanted all of him. She knew it wouldn’t change anything yet the idea of him filling her with himself, making her his all over again.

“I’m yours.” She said softly. “I want to be yours.”

“You are mine,” he breathed. “You’re everything. My Nina.”

He adjusted his hips, rubbing the head of his cock against her.

“You want this?” He asked, pressing his nose against hers.

“Yes.” She wrapped her arms around him. “I want you.”

He held her waist as he pushed in. His mouth against hers to catch her moan. His previous fervent pace forgotten about as he fucked her slowly.

“Wish I made this more romantic,” he smiled, nuzzling her cheek. “Could’ve lit a candle, got ya roses.”

“I just want you.” She wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling him closer.

“I’m here. I got ya.” He kissed just below her ear. A hand by her head and another firm on her hip. He picked up his pace, angling to hit that spot inside her with every thrust. “You’re mine. I got ya.”

She pressed her face into the crook of his neck, licking the sweat off his skin. He tasted like salt and adoration.

“Johnny, Johnny, Johnny.” She gasped. The muscles in her stomach tightened while the one in her foot twitched.

“S’close, Neen.” He grunted. She dragged her nails up and down his back.

“Inside me, please. I need to feel you,” she begged.

A feeling surged up her chest and settled behind her eyes. She could choke on her desire with how it filled her throat, breaking out in half complete moans and gasps.

“Please, please, please, please.” Tears pricked at the corners of her eyes. She got so scared sometimes. Scared that he’d leave, that he’d wake up one day and wouldn’t want her. When he held her like this, the fear fell away with her tears. She had him, he had her.

Any air left in her chest left with a croak as she came again, back arching off the bed completely.

He thrusted hard, sheathing himself fully inside her. His mouth taking hers greedily. He shuddered under her hands, throbbed hard inside of her. It felt warm, already seeping out between them.

“You okay?” He asked breathlessly, wiping the tears from her cheeks. “Didn’t hurt ya, did I?”

She shook her head, smiling.

“I love you.” She giggled. “I love you so much.”

“So you’re going to let me do this again?” He asked cheekily.

“Definitely but I do want a candle next time.”

“I can manage that.” He licked her cheeks, chucking as her nose scrunched up. “Ready to go again?”

taglist: @macravishedbymactavish @bossva @queen-ilmaree @pssytrux @sea--biscuit

#ficmas #soap x nina #Johnny soap mactavish #john soap mactavish x oc #john soap mactavish

[eatmangoesnekkid]

*Revised: It's important that I came back and revised my post, be a bit more deliberate and sensitive around matters of the heart. Here is a copy of my revised post on war, Black woman martyrdom, painful monthly periods, and fear/division. There are a lot of downloads and codes I freely share in this post. It's a long read but perhaps edifying for anyone with eyes to see/feel. _____ While we are all connected and part of the one human race, as a woman of African ancestry living in possession of the Mitochondria Eve Gene, it is my duty to not live as a martyr for this world. This is not a statement of arrogance or "supremacy" over anyone else, those codes our egoic predatory system was created from. It is just the way DNA/ancestry works. It is similar to why I'm looking for a 2nd home in a warmer climate because my texture and physiology require incredible doses of sunlight in order for me to function optimally. My resources to be of service are limited when living far away from the Equator. It is just how biology organizes and harmonizes a specific circadian rhythmic requirement that will be different for us all. Currently I live full-time in a northern European climate with very little sun, a shared life in a small cute house in the city with my lover of 8 years. So when I speak about the Mitochondria Eve Gene, it is merely a similar fact and not about division and other foolishness. The Mitochondria Eve Gene is deeply valuable like sunlight. I won't get into here. It has already been laid out in The Melody of Love Book 1. When I was in my 20s, my periods used to be heavy and would always come through my pants/skirts. I wore double pads because I had golf ball size clots. I cramped painfully every month, so much so, that I was a regular at my school's infirmary on day 1 of my bleed time. They would give me a shot and I would fall right to sleep on their hospital bed and when I woke up 2-3 hours later, all pain was gone. Back then I looked forward to getting that shot and the routine schedule of my boyfriend picking me up after I had wept and slept. At that time, I loved that the nurse would numb me and I didn't feel any symptom. The numbing (lack of feeling of truth) allowed me to function again in my classes as a regular student. Back then, 27 years ago, I was a budding activist, a member of a popular pink and green sorority, and fully into the news media and celebrities. Whatever was going on racially-charged, I was marching and carrying signs. One day, in my visions while laying on the infirmary bed, I saw myself spending decades being a martyr in another lifetime. I made the decision around 30 years old to no longer be a martyr for this world and started fortifying my body with rest, movement, sun, and vitamin c. And now my periods/moon times are incredibly pleasurable and always pain-free. This shift in reality divined me even more deeper information around the nature of how life works in a female body.

As a melaninated female, my body, emotions, and other stargates were programmed to be siphoned by this world from birth. I was conditioned to value profit and productivity over pleasure and wellness and for my labor to be used as resources for other people's lives, dreams, and adventures. And the foundational predatory nature of our Western society was built off the backs of my lineage to exploit and extract from other Black and Brown bodies. That means that I was programmed to work harder on a job than I worked on myself (my own cells) so that I could not create and live a life that truly belonged to me. So no I am not going to be thinking too much or overly emotional about anything happening in the world right now. And when I feel myself leaning too far right or left, I'm going to bring my energy back to center inside my spine and orient it towards natural beauty, movement, sound, deep nourishment, hydration, and love, feeling the sensation of love move through my body parts, learning love in my psyche, remembering how to love my body, love my -body in relationship to other bodies, and love other bodies. Please don't ask me what I feel about the insanity system of war after war, loss of freedom after loss of freedom, in an inflamed world. It is my duty to the grandmothers to heal the "evil" "conflict" and "war" from within me so that I can grow my life force energy in ways that allow me to be of service anywhere I land. This means I bring my emotions (energy) back home so that I think clearly enough to not bypass my body and go lay down and rest when I feel tired so that I may feel steady and emotionally sober. Say "no" to going out late at night when I know I need more rest. Turn off my electronics a few hours before bed time so that I can take care of my circadian biology and not start to prematurely atrophy in my spine, joints and muscles. Spend my time/resources on making fresh sourdough break or making love in some way. Touch my tissues and slow-braid my wild hair. Get massages and strengthen my legs/root. Weep and leak whether suppressed grief or unrepressed ecstasy. What is happening in the world is terrible in very clear obvious ways. It's been happening in some way for a long time and now the evil is brought out of the dark into the light. This is how life goes. It has been this way for eons, Loved Ones.

Oftentimes the solution is less talking and more deep listening. I do not need to always speak or have commentary about everything and neither should you. I do not care to constantly scroll and stay abreast of single thing going on in world, and live in a perpetual state of panic and unrest as a result. It is still my duty to the lineages that live through me not to be so externally-focused and put any part of my body back into a cage without guilt or shame. Understanding this geometry 14 years ago continues to free my cells, tissues, and organs. Now I get to spend 2 hours in a bathing ritual, receiving instead of constantly creating, and living exemplary in this world so that I may help free other woman and female bodied people so that we, together, may be a guiding lights in different parts of the world. I do not take the gift lightly.

Here are other considerations to think about:

1. Divide and conquer is one of the oldest shadows in human history. Start to question everything you see and read online, including from me. 2. What happens in the collective also happens within us. If chaos or evil is happening out there (as it has been happening), you must also locate the “evil” or "chaos" that is happening within you in order to free your waters fully and become more aware in a deeper way. Who or what has your emotion also has part ownership of your waters.Water consciousness/emotions/awareness/the subconscious --it's all connected. 3. This is just the beginning, loved ones. You must also open up your heart, strengthen your 3rd eye and belly, and manage your nervous and immune systems so that you have the capacity to read between the lines of division and binaries. 4. A dehydrated body is mentally unclear and physiologically unable to think clearly, process life soundly, and make grounded choices 5. . It’s impossible to imbue logic from interconnected systems organized to be harmful from the start where one group of people "loses" and another group of people seemingly "wins." Meaning —less intellect is required now and more clarifying body-based intelligence. You must root down into your body for direction and clarity. If you have very little connection to your body, this will be challenging, accept that. Begin to align with people who are more connected to their body/intuition and learn from them. We are going to have lean on and trust each other a little more. Because not everyone has the same skillsets or gifts—which means we are all incredibly necessary. 6. Times will get tough for some (many) people because there are some deeper realities happening underneath what is being presented on the surface. It’s not an easy thing to speak about publicly because many people's hearts, nervous systems, and addictions need some tending to. Mystery schools like mine and others will be essential. 7. Those who have divine feminine mystery schools must be willing to be students and observers in one another’s school. Division, sneakiness, or competition as modeled by living in a predatory system have to be released from the body and left alone for good. 8. You must tend to your mind and not allow it to take over your body with its judgments, fears, insecurities, and criticisms. Remember yourself as s an embodiment of love. Think about love for 3 or minutes and your body begins to produce the chemistry of love inside your tissues. Your thoughts (masculine) and feelings (feminine) produce a 3rd thing, in this case, a vibration of love that interacts with the electromagnetic field. How you think creates a frequency that greatly contributes to raising your frequency and creating a new future reality. In other words, slow down and be more present and conscious of your thoughts and how you are thinking and tune into what you are feeling. -India Ame'ye, Author

[flnpushy]

helios 6 Kara birth part 1

The story on Helios Continues, Its time for Kara to give birth to her first baby!

The day had finally arrives for Kara. After 13 months pregnant it was now finally her turn to push out a baby. She was now estimated to have a 19-20 pound baby inside her.  As it was Kara’s first attempt at birth, it was going to likely be a long hard pushing battle to become un-pregnant. 

Kara awoke to sharp pains in her belly. She knew what this meant. In her belly she could feel her large baby squirm about. Her baby knew instinctually that birth was imminent. Kara went to the bathroom and pushed slightly. Her mucus plug fell out. She was now officially in labor. Kara was excited but also a bit nervous. She had now attended a lot of births and she knew how hard a first baby was to push out. She liked being pregnant, but she knew her baby couldn’t stay in her belly forever. 

Labor progressed fairly quickly for her, as it did for most mothers on Helios. Labor was never really an issue. 24 hours tops. It was the pushing out of the large babies that could take a week or even more in total. Kara signaled on her com-link that active labor had started. This gave Central Command a notice that she was soon to be birthing. This also helped Central Command determine if a mother could receive birthing assistance or not. A mother that had only been pushing for a few days wasn’t justified any assistance. However a mother pushing for 7 or more days needed to be monitored for possible intervention. Kara spent the next 24 hours in her room, working through contractions and pains. She wanted to stay private for labor. But when it was time to push she would move to a garden or pool to be among other mothers. 

Kara’s transition was approaching. She was about to go from laboring to actively pushing out her baby. Kara decided that garden 27 would be the ideal place to go, so she made her way in that direction. As Kara walked she could feel pains and contractions, the walking was helping her baby engage in her birth canal.  As she entered Garden 31 she was hit with a blast of warm tropical smelling air. Garden 27 was like the Amazon of Helios Birthing Center. It was lush with plant life, it had streams and small waterfalls. Truly a sight to behold. Kara made her way over to a nearby birth station. The station had 2 birth stools, a squat bar, a comfortable pad to lay on, a lube station, and even had a view of a small pond. The pond was rather large in size and stacked with koi fish. The birth station was next to a tiny little dock. At the end of the dock was a small 7 foot rowboat. The row boat was even equipped with a birth stool instead of a chair. Kara had been in this garden before, but not seen the pond. She knew right away she’d have the boat. Kara made her way to the boat and climbed in. She sat upon the birth stool and rowed to the center of the pond. 

Below Kara was hundreds of Koi fish tapping the bottom of the boat, around her was a vast open ceiling nearly 100 feet tall looking out into the great beyond with its glass roof. Around the pond was exotic plants and other flora to admire. In the background the flow of a small tricking waterfall could be heard. Kara soaked in the surroundings. What an amazing place she thought. However her concentration of her surroundings was soon interrupted by hard pain I her belly. She was quickly reminded she had a baby to push out! As Kara was already on a birth stool…. It was time.

So It begins, Kara opened up her legs a bit on the birth stool, waited for her contraction to intensify, breathed in, and gave it…. Her first official push. It wasn’t a long push but as she held it she could feel her baby girl start to squirm around in her belly. Her baby knew that it was beginning to get pushed out. Kara stopped, drew in air once more and pushed again. Some fluids trickled out of her opening as she pushed. Her water had yet to break and she was hoping to keep the Sac in tact for the whole birth. She knew this could be slower, but loved the idea. Even as the contraction ended she continued to try some small grunty pushes. She knew that they weren’t adding much to the situation, but it felt good to push. Kara’s little boat had now drifted its way over to the far side of the pond, she was enjoying the little ride it was giving her as she pushed. 

Another contraction came over her. Once again Kara could feel her baby squirming in her belly. She liked the ticklish feeling it made and knew she’d miss being pregnant. However there was a lot of work that lay ahead to get this baby out of her tummy. Kara continued to push with her contractions for another hour or so. Kara became tired of the birth stool and wanted to lay out so she rowed back to the dock and went over to the pad. She side Layed on it and began pushing once more. Kara became a pushing machine. About an hour of this passed. She was about to switch positions when she felt a gush of fluid escape her. 

“Darn it!” Kara said aloud. 

She had hope to keep the Sac in tact, but no use, her rapid pushing ruptured the waters. 

#birth #giving birth #birth kink #pregnant #crowning #pregnancy #breech #scifi birth #birth story #birth denial